#whatparalysis

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 580 : i quit my job 1 month ago today. . this is currently what many of my days look like, and i'm not mad about it. . quitting my job was the scariest decision i think i've ever made, and i went back and forth agonizing for months on end. in reality, i needed the experience/to prove myself that i COULD go back to work, but the effect on my personal wellness and recovery was never positive from the start. . i am confident i've made the right decision, both for my soul and for continued focus and dedication to all of this return in function and feeling i'm feeling and continue to get back. i am amazed and eternally grateful. . i've gone back to driving #uber and #lyft, but to counteract all of that sitting (wellness, come on people) i've become a grocery shopper for #instacart and #shipt. turns out, it's kind of the perfect training tool i need right now?? . sometimes i end up at 6-8 stores a day. legs are definitely feeling it, but i'm refining my walk and getting some fast paces in! plus, carrying groceries is like, peak function training - am i right #fitfam . doc says i really don't need any more physical therapy, but i'm NOWHERE NEAR where i want to be! anyone have any ideas for something a step beyond personal training with a touch of neuro?? #help . that's enough of an update for now. just doing my best every day, which sometimes isn't that great, but hey - does it really even matter? 😬🙃 . cheers friends. keep on keepin on 🖤 . . . #spinalcordinjury #rebuild #scirecovery #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #moveyourbody #keeponkeepinon #neverstopplaying #justgottagetthroughit #healingisnotlinear #ambulatorywheelchairusersexist #dothehardstuff https://www.instagram.com/p/Bte0eOmhSvX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=m0tmx3cvc70k

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 520 : FINALLY a solution for the ice blocks attached to the end of my legs. . two days ago i made a grave mistake. i got into a pool (a lap pool that was pretty chilly because, you know, exercise) and then immediately went into a sauna. i had never been in a sauna and was excited about the idea of being warm for a quick minute. . boy, was i wrong. . although i was only in there for a few minutes, i had no idea how much it would mess with my neurological system and already-present temperature control issues due to SCI. . i spent that night sleepless, drenched in sweat, and colder than i've ever been, despite wool socks, two thick blankets, warm pants, and a chunky sweater. . yesterday was spent in pure misery and confusion as my skin would get warm but i felt like the outside was just a warm covering over the ice that was inside. nothing, nothing, nothing worked and i constantly fluctuated between burning and sweating to freezing and sweating from half a second to the next. . lessons learned. . thanks boyfriend for the good ideas and for spoiling me way more than i deserve. 🖤 . sci friends : if you have chronic cold feet, do yourself a favor. the effects of this warmth lasted like 12 hours!!! . . . #coldfeet #paralysisproblems #scirecovery #spinalcordinjury #footbath #paraplegic #thecomebackisgreaterthanthesetback #dominoeffects #whatparalysis https://www.instagram.com/p/BrWK7L0BI5T/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=hs47jjgk2qfb

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 508 : be. still. my. 🖤. . i'm usually a bit of a 💩 (ok, maybe more than a bit?). i'm pretty grinch-y during the holidays, and thanksgiving is just ughhhhvdjskxnrkdjdjd.... . but i've found myself feeling an unexpected wave of gratitude the last few days for the short list of things going well right now. . i forgot my cane and parking tag galavanting through the carolinas yesterday. bless @timberland boots for allowing this paraplegic to feel confident over most terrain, especially big gravel like the kind i ate it on about a year and a half ago lol. #walkingparaplegic . i also walked up that big hill in the background, and felt really good about it?!?! . i'm thankful for this sunshine of a man that was a bright light at a very dark time in my life. thanks for being stubborn when i was pushing you away 🌞 . thankful for two loving parents that came to me when traveling was just too much for me this year. . thankful for the best pup pup that could ever happen to a person with sci. or any person. lucy, i dont know what i'd do without your dragon noises and cute zoomies every day. . also the fact that you're an obstacle course because you refuse to move from taking up the entire hallway every time i walk by. my dog is daily physical therapy. . in the past few weeks, something has happened to my legs. i got up from a regular height chair with no hands yesterday. also a low-ish toilet. . and about two weeks ago, the top half of my left leg like, came back. sort of like it walked back in from vacation and was like, "what's up?" it's the weirdest thing ever. . anyway, i don't like wine, but i drank wine. and i'm getting better at drinking and walking. 🙌🏽 . . . #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #timberlandboots #paraplegic #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisgreaterthanthesetback #whatparalysis #moveyourbody #depression #mentalhealthawareness #endthestigma #movember #moustache #ambulatorywheelchairusersexist https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqko4V3hkwb/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ghnaej9xvicb

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 560 : a tiny progress update. . first, i moved. AGAIN. that’s now 5 times in 4 years, and twice post-paralysis 🙄 . second, currently not doing any physical therapy so i'm using my natural environment. not that that's any different from any other of the last 560 days. #nevernottraining #letsfixthis . thankfully these are the only stairs in this house! . third, glad i made the decision to buy two packs of wool socks because my feet have only been winterfell-level cold, not beyond-the-wall cold this winter. also just proud that i crushed my #birksandsocks goal this year. couldn't even dream of them this time last year. . meh...a bunch of other big news circling around me. big things, regardless of good or bad, throw me for a spin and make me feel like the depression and anxiety win every day. just kind of hunkering down, feeling the feels, and waiting for the storm to pass. . also, it wouldn't be one of my videos if i didn't almost fall in it. double eye roll 🙄🙄 i had just done it seamlessly! 🤬 . keep on keepin' on y'all. . . . #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisgreaterthanthesetback #whatparalysis #bionicbadass #disabledandcute #lifeaftersci #walkingparaplegic #mentalhealthawareness (at Paris Mountain State Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsrDmx9B0Mk/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1x46n45k6nrom

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 395 : this day has been a long time coming! . i remember being in the hospital and asking how long people tend to wait to return to work after spinal cord injury. shocker, everyone's different, but they told me that some people wait 2 years. i literally couldn't believe it and could not even imagine taking 6 months off. . 13 months later, to the day, i'm finally back. and i felt like i needed every moment of each of those months before being alright to return. the mental struggle has been real, and most times harder than the physical. but i finally feel well enough to continue doing my life's passion. . my office has been so incredibly supportive of me this past year, and i'm very grateful that they worked with me to get a more accessible office location, sit/stand desk, and a swivel chair with a lock on it. because those things are scary af. . super extra shout out to @vickicroberts for wearing your headbands & hightops shirt for my return and setting up my office so i wouldn't want to crawl into a hole and hide after not touching these things for a year 😂 . from the bottom of my heart, #fikefam thanks for being so supportive this past year. i'm ready to keep making you proud of me! . . . #rebuild #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou #liveyourbestlife #craighospital #chickswithsticks #keeponkeepinon #neverstopplaying #justgottagetthroughit #vulnerabilityisstrength #disabledandcute (at Clemson University)

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 413 : oh hey everybody, i went to florida last weekend 😬 . learning to walk on a moving boat for the second time in my life. . thanks mom & dad for boat life that i am so grateful for 🖤 it was one of the things that ran through my head most while using a wheelchair because i didn't know how i was going to make it happen. it's a struggle to get around now, but getting easier each time. . . . #rebuild #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou #liveyourbestlife #craighospital #keeponkeepinon #neverstopplaying #justgottagetthroughit #vulnerabilityisstrength #disabledandcute

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 335 : [11 months] . approaching one year in one month is kicking up feely-emotions that haven’t been felt in a few months. . mental health is an on-going challenge. from accepting the way my body now looks, to constantly expecting to fall at any moment, to balancing pushing myself too hard with workouts v. taking the rest i need, to just figuring out how new me is going to choose to handle every-day life things. . to say it’s been a rollercoaster is an understatement. it’s been a tortuous, scarring, burning, bruising ride through various levels of hell, and every moment of it has ultimately been full of beauty. even the ugly ones. . thanks instagram for giving me a peek through the journeys of so many others, showing me i’m not alone, and appreciating the raw magic that comes from fighting a fight. thank you insta-fam for coming along with me in this ride. . today’s workout dedicated to the power of knowing who you are enough to be proud of the choices you make, and living what makes you feel wild. . #liveyourbestlife #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 380 : soft blades of grass and beads of dew will forever be etched in my memory of physical feels. . i finally did it. i've been talking about attending a live yoga class for an incredibly long time. once again, mental blockage preventing me from going through with it. . a surprise encounter with an old student and soul sister this past weekend was just the 🔥 i needed. . i love being outside and botanical gardens are my favorite. it was such a beautifully overcast morning and it was just what my body and soul needed. . these past few days have just been comedic (in the twilight zone sort of way). my favorite thing about yoga is being able to cut the crap out for a bit and bliss out by appreciating the heck out of the power and magic that make up our bodies. this was that for me today 🖤 . . . #paralyzedyogi #rebuild #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou #liveyourbestlife #craighospital #chickswithsticks #keeponkeepinon #neverstopplaying #justgottagetthroughit #vulnerabilityisstrength (at South Carolina Botanical Garden)

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 319 : this sweaty smile brought to you by going through some ISH that puts you in hell, and then feeling like you’re OWNING this comeback. . my physical therapist had a student today. at the end of my session, she told me that when i walked in, she thought i was a PT too, not a patient. WHAT?! . i am so incredibly grateful for my life and how i feel right now. i would have never imagined that a #spinalcordinjury would help me transform the way i think and feel to this degree. we are all powerful magic and sometimes it takes a really bad thing to happen to make us 👏🏽 wake up 👏🏽 from the monotony and dissatisfaction with our situations. . i sometimes hate that our standard greeting for those we encounter is “hi how are you.” especially since most of the time the question is asked without remotely caring what the answer is, and the answer is mostly given as a pre-populated response. i try to be as genuine as i can, and recently my answer has been falling somewhere around “i’m so freaking fantastic.” . i’ve noticed that people that give a REAL response, especially if it’s unconventionally happy/grateful/smiley, have had some 💩 put on them and they are genuinely happy because they’ve taken the time to not be so oblivious at the little things that make life wonderful and worth making every second the best second you could possibly have. even if you’re still fighting a fight. i like talking to those people. stories are important. . life is too short. wake up. be you. be the best version of you with whatever 💩 is on your plate. . . . #newoutlook #scirecovery #whatparalysis #incompleteparaplegic #paraplegiclife #paralysissucks #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #bekind #peopleareimportant #physicaltherapy #thecomebackstory #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #liveyourbestlife #wellness

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 332 : barbie feet situation 😑 . still having a hard time putting weight on my heels because, well, they ain’t touching the ground. . this is progress, though. . leftie’s (or lucy’s) arch collapse is improving with foot push-ups (yes, that’s what they’re called), and just focusing on it all. damn. day. . hopefully this fixes knee popping soon! . my feets missed the flippie-floppies. still not great at actually keeping them on my feet, but, a girl can practice. . . . #nobreaks #recoveryneverstops #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 332 : barbie feet situation 😑 . still having a hard time putting weight on my heels because, well, they ain’t touching the ground. . this is progress, though. . leftie’s (or lucy’s) arch collapse is improving with foot push-ups (yes, that’s what they’re called), and just focusing on it all. damn. day. . hopefully this fixes knee popping soon! . my feets missed the flippie-floppies. still not great at actually keeping them on my feet, but, a girl can practice. . . . #nobreaks #recoveryneverstops #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 331 : #songsgettingmethrough . for my sci fam and anyone else fighting a fight (probably means you too 😘) . just keep on trying / just keep fighting / just keep going / just keep surviving / just keep walking / just keep breathing / just keep holding / just keep believing . #mutemath . . . #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 354 : i interrupt your insta-feed to bring you two minutes of ridiculous antics that come with doing something for the first time. . find more ways to move. find more ways to play. #movementiseverything . awkward finger dance (just for you @addymariewillis) and makeshift curtsy at the end! . thanks @silaswade for 📸 and making sure 💡 was on point. . . . #hulahoop #newthings #firsttimeforeverything #rebuild #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou #liveyourbestlife #craighospital

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

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day 249 : bum foot ain’t gonna stop my from trying new things. . i find jumping fascinating. i can’t quite figure out how to get the power behind it, but this was the first attempt at a jump. second was WAY more successful. . don’t mind my gimp bum foot walk, and also almost falling. i’ll catch myself at important times like this, but not when i’m doing silly things like locking a door or walking to a bathroom. 😩 . . . #rebuild #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou #liveyourbestlife

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 351 : treat every day like an adventure, because that’s exactly what it is. . one of the things i’ve enjoyed most about not having much to do each day is seeing what kind of adventures I can get myself into. my life can currently be described as a perpetual state of limbo, so learning to live this way has been good for my mental health and sanity. . hoping to carry this way of thinking into my next era, which should be coming soon. . y’all should be proud i didn’t go all out and try the paddleboard, although i SERIOUSLY considered it before being talked out of it from my physical therapist. i suppose i’ll try it for the first time with them, since they know what they’re doing or something like that 😜 . the ocean is my home, but i’ll accept a lake for now. . . . #workperks #adaptivekayaking #outdooradventures #neature #rebuild #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou #liveyourbestlife (at Lake Hartwell)

[headbandsandhightops-blog]

day 348 : sitting solo in my own next-to-vip section. #paralysisperks . may also have gotten chocolate all over me. . *UPDATE* got upgraded to a padded comfy chair by just asking nicely...and maybe batting my eyelashes a bit. 😜 . . . #soloadventures #favoriteband #livemusicismedicine #rebuild #spinalcordinjury #scirecovery #learningtowalkagain #notimeforparalysis #whatparalysis #notalldisabilitiesarevisible #paraplegiclife #incompleteparaplegic #thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback #brokenbody #bionicbadass #lifeaftersci #nothingisofflimits #exerciseismedicine #moveyourbody #takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou #liveyourbestlife (at Charlotte Metro Credit Union Amphitheatre)