#whatnot. and having these fucking beings fucking with your head and giving you seizures because you DARE disrespect them

[katiescancerjourney]

Anaphylactic Shock, 6/15/22

When I started back on FOLFOX, they said that you can develop an allergy to the main chemo in the cocktail, oxaliplatin - the one that gives you the shitty side effects like cold sensitivity, etc. So as a part of your pre-med drips, they add a healthy dose of Benadryl. It’s pretty awful as you get a drip of steroids right before and the combo is like being on drugs with none of the good parts. I always try to be one with the Benadryl and sleep through the rest of the drips.

I had noticed that whenever the nurses would start the oxaliplatin I would get an itch in my throat but it always went away and I figured that the Benadryl was doing it’s job and went back to sleep. For some reason, this round, my 6th round, I decided to let the nurses know that I always feel that little itch. They definitely seemed annoyed that I hadn’t mentioned this before, totally fair, and I promised to share if it happened again. 

I don’t know why, but I just knew in my gut that this time was going to be the time it didn’t go away.

Sure enough, a few minutes into the oxali drip, I sat up in my chair with shooting pain up and down my back. I probably looked like I was having a seizure as my body convulsed every second to the pain and I couldn’t keep my head up. The nurses ran in, took out my oxali line, pushed anti-nausea meds and more Benadryl and called for an NP. I started dry heaving and went into rigors. I was shaking and dripping sweat and my throat felt fuzzy and foreign, like it wasn’t a part of my body. However, I could breath in and out of my nose and I knew that if I remained calm and focused on my breathing, the meds would kick in in a few minutes and things would be fine. They had an epipen and push of pain meds ready to rock but I asked them to wait because I felt so fucked up from the Benadryl, I couldn’t imagine putting more medicine in me. Sure enough, a few minutes later, sweet relief. I couldn’t really talk and had no motor functions at that point so the nurses let me sleep if off. They woke me up an hour later and I said I was ready to get the fuck home. They were so freaking sweet, even offered to run across the street to Starbucks so I didn’t fall asleep in the Uber home but I felt confident I could get home fine. I did, and spent the rest of the day in bed, loopy as all get out, trying to take in everything that had just happened to me.

As FOLFOX is still such a good chemo, they want to try again, but this time, give me the drip over 8+ hours so see if only little bits at a time will prevent another allergic reaction. 

It’s funny, at first I was so bummed, like damn, I have to be at the treatment center for over 10 hours to get all my drips now? That sucks! I called my friend Sarah who had also had the same reaction to commiserate and whatnot and started to complain about the longer drip and she said “oh wow, you’re so lucky! I wanted to try the longer drip but my side effects were too bad at that point and they wouldn’t allow it” and then I realized, I’m lucky I get to try this bad ass chemo again. Sarah never fails to show me the bright side, like ever. 

[themadauthorshatter]

PG-13 NINJAGO REWRITE/UNIVERSE ALTERATIONS!

This is basically if the show was meant for a more teenaged and mature audience. I don't know how long this will be, but I'll just start with the characters first, because I can

Because he's my favorite, and I love him, Zane's first: Instead of being a robot, how about something more tragic? DECADES remotely close to the series beginning, Zane was in a very nice family. An adopted, blended family, but a nice family nonetheless. So, what happened? A storm? A fire? A natural disaster? Worse. A war. A raid made by the opposing side, more specifically. Zane protected his siblings and villagers from attackers, but was grabbed and lined up for execution. When they grabbed and injured an elderly man, Zane attacked the officer and punched him. A lot. Another officer muzzle bumped him off and beat him to death in front of his family. The ally side arrive and save everyone. Too bad they're too late to save Zane. All, but one. A scientist who's been reformed and is skilled in mechanics and artificial organs; synthetics. He's also lost his own son. He deserts into the woods with Zane and gets to work, replacing Zane's skin with a stretchy material close to what you find in the legs of old barbie dolls, where the legs and heads were soft, his hair with- well, wig hair, his bones and joints with metal and clock work, his normal eyes with porcelain doll eyes, and his heart with a core that keeps him running and alive. Think Tony Stark's arc reactor, but if it's removed, Zane has 15 minutes to put it back or else he'll die and stay dead. It took FOREVER, but Zane eventually awoke up. The doctor, fuck it, was so relieved and helped Zane sit up and get used to being alive again-and half metal, but let's focus on his motor skills first. He lived with this doctor for a VERY, VERY long time. For context, if we were to set this in 2021, Zane would have died in around 1923 and been brought back in 1944 and saw the doctor that worked on him die in 2010. He's OLD. Back on track, Zane learned all he does, reading, talking, cooking, and whatnot, until the master of ice pays a visit and spends the day with Zane, asking him who he is, how old he is, and how long he's been with the doctor. After his visit, and Wu's, the doctor starts to see Zane slowly realize what's happened to him, but also question where his family is. Turns out the war wasn't easily won because the doctor shows Zane a family in a graveyard, near where they live. HIS FAMILY. And his name is there too. After this, Zane is traumatized, refusing to eat, drink, sleep, and talk, even ignoring his companion in the form of the Falcon. When the doctor sees Zane shaking sporadically, and sees him drooling a lot, he realizes the toll this is all taking on his son, who breaks down emotionally and mentally in his arms.

"F-father?"

"Yes? What is it, Zane?"

"I'm supposed to be dead, right? The tombstone in the graveyard, I should be under it, right?"

Cue silence from the doctor.

"Do you love me?"

"More than life itself."

"And... you would do anything for me?"

"Anything. Why?"

"I want to die. I want you to destroy me!"

The doctor gasps and hugs Zane close.

"I can't! You're my son, Zane! I can't lose you!"

"Am I your son, or your prized possession built from scrap parts and a corpse?"

"Zane-"

"I had a sister!" Zane snaps. "A mother! A father! And three brothers and a cousin and an uncle! I died protecting them and here I am while they rest beneath the ground!"

"You're my son, Zane!" The doctor holds Zane's shoulders to steady him. "You're my son, and I do love you. You're all that I have now, son."

Zane, broken and miserable, apologizes to his father as he drives a screwdriver into his own head, forcing his father to catch him as he falls down.

When Zane comes to, he's resting in his bed and feels worse than ever, as in he's sad and guilty for going off on his father the way he did.

The doctor apologizes for not telling him sooner, admitting that Zane's recovery took so long that resurrecting his whole family would be impossible, even if he'd taught Zane how to do it, no one in his family had the same blood type and some were even allergic to the medicine used to keep Zane's body fresh.

When Zane feels a poke in his head and notices his foot twitches at random, he gets curious. "What are you working on now?"

"You've been having seizures recently. I want to make sure the small cables and wires in your brain are all set correctly, so I know none of them are causing it."

"I see."

"Can you say your name?"

"Zane."

"Can you spell it?"

Cue some focused humming as Zane struggles a little bit. "Z... A...I-"

"Wrong. Try again."

"Z... A..." Long pause. "N... E."

"Good."

"Can... Can you change things from your position? Effect my movements and mind?"

"I can try."

"Can you make me forget?"

The doctor tells Zane it would be better if he remembered his family, but Zane weeps as he admits he'll tey to destroy himself again, if he remembers his family; it's not just grief, it's also a huge amount of guilt over the fact that he's alive while his family is dead.

The doctor agrees and hides his memories of his family.

He also rigs the same wiring to his heart rate monitor; when he dies, Zane will leave and forget him, and the fact that he is supposed to be dead. He'll forget just about everything, except for his name, how to read, breathe, eat, and take care of himself.

AND THAT HAPPENS.

Zane wanders through the woods, mute and silent until some villagers take him in and give him shelter. It takes a village to raise a child, so the village pitches in. Some children try getting him to play with them, but he only stands and stares, even when a little girl tells him she thinks he's cute.

Wu finds him again, and takes him to the monastery, where Jay and Cole are.

They do not like Zane. He stands, he stares, and he barely pays attention to what they have to say, though he does stare at Wu a lot.

They also think he's creepy because, well... remember that one stance Arthur does in the movie Joker, where he stands holding himself between the door frames and looks really creepy? Zane does that. A lot. In the morning when they wake him up and at night when they're about to go to sleep.

They sort of got what was wrong when he had a seizure while cooking; Cole was talking and explaining why he and Jay were keeping their diatance from him, and then heard Zane fall and the pot OF BOILING SOUP tumble on top of him. He shouted for Wu amd Jay and held Zane until the seizure stopped and Zane just stared at him tiredly and almost like he was about to cry.

"Are you... okay, Zane?"

"... Co... Cole?"

"Yeah? What is it?"

"... I'm sorry. Dinner is... going to have to wait." Zane tries to stand, but Jay holds his shoulder.

"Dude, are you sure? We can just order takeout for the night, if you're not up for cooking."

"I'm... I'm fine... J... J..."

Jay holds Zane in front of him by the shoulders. "I'm Jay. Remember?" Zane repeats Jay's name and Jay and Cole help him to sit down at the table.

"Perhaps you should rest for the evening and allow one of your brothers to prepare dinner tonight?" Wu highly recommends as he holds a hand on Zane's shoulder, in case he has another seizure.

Zane reluctantly agrees and Jay and Cole order a pizza; Zane offered to pay, but they told him to sit the hell down.

Upon meetung Kai, Zane is back at square one, except he has Cole and Jay to keep him in check and to help Kai gor when he gets weirded out.

They all get scared when they hear and see Zane banging his head against the wall, like bending his back and head back and curling into the wall as hard as he can and when he had a really bad seizure while sleeping, but don't bring it up because he stares off into space and stops cooking.

YOU CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW THEY REACTED WHEN THEY ALL GOIND OIT ZANE HAS BEEN DEAD ALL THIS TIME!!!!!!!

Personality wise, Zane is still smart, funny on accident, and very brave with a sixth sense, he's just the most "ninja" out of all the ninja because he's surprisingly light on his feet and quiet as a shadow. When he meets someone new, he doesn't talk. At all. It's a trust thing, so he'll whisper to anyone he does trust to talk back to the new person.

Still the ice ninja, but Kai made the mistake of interrupting a staring contest between Zane and his mirror reflection by tapping on his shoulder.

Zane spun around to face him with terrifying speed, but Kai backed up and held his hands up.

"Sorry, Zane. I just... You're... really cold."

Zane checked his outfit, which was long sleeved.

"I don't know, maybe... take a bath to warm up? Eat a little more? Get sime sunshine?"

Their one sided conversation ended with Zane staring at him before patting Kai on the head, and trying to make his spiky ass hair stay down, and returning to the mirror.

I should note:

ZANE AND MIRRORS DO NOT MIX.

He hates them. They freak him out. It has nothing to do with memories, he just gets scares that there's another him in another bathroom in another monastery in another Ninjago in another world, where it's all the same, but backwards. Sort of doesn't get that all reflective surfaces like ceramic plates, cutlery, and anyhting else of the sort are just reflecting light.

He doesn't get movies or video games, either. The other three tried teaching him, but he quickly became the player they had to look out for, because he'd get lost exploring the game's map rather than actually playing, which he found boring. Usually he'll just sit back and watch them play, ever the passive observer.

His seizures are due to immense stress and his memories trying to come back, but the little feat of tinkering his father did keeps fighting back, so whenever he's cooking and reminded of the doctor that saves him, he has a seizure.

He can take a lot of damage, but he's not good with getting electrocuted; if he's hit, he's down and useless for fifteen minutes, at least. Remember that cinstricti that almost killed him and Cole? Zane was more annoyed at the snake and concerned for Cole's safety rather than his. AND THE SNAKE DIDN'T FEEL ZANE'S RIBS. AT ALL.

The area around the core that keeps Zane alive is made if a similar material as those squishy slime balls that you sqeeze and the slime spews out of the little holes in the net, but a little more durable. Now that I think about it, it's made of a sort of ooblek substance, but it's a different matieral than cornstarche added. I don't know what, but it's made to keep the core, and Zane, from getting hurt.

Zane actually hides from Nya during her first few months of joining the team. Again, nothing to do with memory, he just got freaked out because she got kidnapped by the skeleton army. She keeps her distance, too, giving him glances and smiles while he stares at her, and Jay even switched seats with Nya to try and help Zane warm up to her, as in he'd sit next to her. He did so and got Nya to talk about something that had been eating her up inside, leading to her hugging him and crying in his shoulder. Kai and Jay were extremely close to yelling at him until Nya pulled away and thanked Zane, because she needed to cry.

When they go off on him for what happened to the monastery, Zane has a mini seizure until he sees the falcon and leaves just as the seizure starts.

Cole and Jay know what to do with these seizures, but when Kai first saw Zane having one, he held Zane and shouted for help until Zane put a hand over Kai's mouth and rubbed his eyes with the other; "I hate when that happens."

For any TLDR people: Zane's basically a reanimated corpse running on robot energy who doesn't remember his past because he asked to not remember. He can talk, he just doesn't much because it's a trust thing. Cooking is his therapeutic thing, he sleeps fine, but he has a hard time going to sleep. Still has his sixth sense and ice powers, he's just more mute and out of tune with the others; guy killed in 1923 is in 2021. Great asset to the team, even though he's the guy they keep an eye on so he doesn't get to badly hurt.

I'll write more about the other ninja, this is just to show how mature this universe alteration is going to be

Oh, yeah, here's Cole's alterations. I didn't change too much of his character, but I hope you guys still like it😅

[interesting-blog-name]

LOOSE REVIEWS (It Looks Sad., Pablo’s Paintings, Vancouver Sleep Clinic, Steve Lacy)

Just a bunch of very quick, very throwaway reviews that I put together while I’m writing the Björk discography post (I’m currently at Vespertine, so this shit is gonna take a while). Mostly slightly underground bands, all very short projects and one of them don’t even have a project, but you should check them out. Anyway.

It Looks Sad. – Songs For Quarantine

Not much to say about this. It is a 9-minute EP, obviously not meant to be taken as a serious, ambitious release, but it’s from a band I wanted to check out: It Looks Sad.. They’re categorized as emo, but their style reminds the listener a lot more of shoegaze and dream pop, at least from what I’ve heard by them (right now, this and Drool, which fits cozily in my Summer playlist).

If you want some moody music for the quarantine (if it’s still going on by the time I post this) and you don’t care if the songs sound like they were recorded in an underwater cave, then go ahead and listen to this I guess. It’s average as fuck but whatever, that’s the point.

 WORST TO BEST: Eyes, Love, Waves, Bug

 bedroom music/10

“*insert shoegaze mumbling here*”

 It Looks Sad. - Kaiju

2015 EP. Two tracks, one sucks and the other is tolerable. Like I really don’t know what the fuck the singer was trying to do with Creature, he’s hollering all over the place, and the delivery would be more at home in maybe some poorly-recorded punk song, but the instrumental is nothing like that, as it’s pretty much indie-rock 101; not to mention the lyrics, which are the blandest broken-hearted songwriting I’ve heard yet, probably. I now understand how truly emo they were.

For Nagoya, I can at least say the hook is pretty cool, but that’s it really. I guess I’m grateful they changed their style.

 2.45/10

“Best friend this is terrible. You know it’s inevitable. I hope you come back, I hope he comes back.”

 Pablo’s Paintings

Just wanted to give a shoutout to the underground Leeds, Yorkshire band Pablo’s Paintings. I had listened to Lizard a long while ago, and loved it, so I decided to check out the rest of their stuff today (May 25th), and it’s very solid. The track You’ve Got A Long Way To Go draws heavily from a psychedelic influence, while Paint’s Gone Dry and So Long (All Your Friends) sound like something The Beatles would maybe write.

I guess you could call them formulaic, but their mixing and distinct sound are all pretty good for a band that hasn’t gotten a song with over 2000 streams on Spotify. Their songs can be a little to bubblegum-ish, such as So Long (All Your Friends) which doesn’t really stand out as many others, but for the most part, they deliver. Can I Draw You Something? has a slight edge to it, in comparison, but still sporting cute lyrics about just drawing for someone, and Ghost In The Machine has a great progression to it, and a very cool cover art to accompany it. It’s clear the band has a taste for visual arts, from the lyrics to the band’s name.

In short, they do have a long way to go, and I hope they release an album soon, considering all but two of their Spotify singles were from last year; I’d be the first to listen to it.

 WORST TO BEST: So Long (All Your Friends), Paint’s Gone Dry, You’ve Got A Long Way To Go, Can I Draw You Something?, Lizard, Ghost In The Machine

 good band check them out/10

“I draw these lines and take them for a walk. I find that I say things better when I don’t need to talk”

 Vancouver Sleep Clinic – Winter

Contrary to the name, the band Vancouver Sleep Clinic is from Australia. Led by ambient singer (a term I didn’t know existed until today) Tim Bettinson, from my understanding, the band have partly built their audience by reeling people into the music by putting having the songs feature in TV shows and movies and whatnot, since there’s a hefty list of times their songs have appeared in this type of media on their Wikipedia page. I decided to listen to Winter because I discovered Stakes from the fact that the $uicideboy$ sampled it on the song Sold My Soul To Satan Waiting In Line At The Mall, and liked it a lot. The EP as a whole, however, not nearly as much.

To start off with the main problem I have with Winter, the tracks are all the same. Seriously, I cannot distinguish one from the other; all the songs are soaked in reverb and mainly center around simple acoustic guitar chords and generic pianos, mixed with Tim’s head voice and sometimes the dumb decision to include a synthesized drumming track, like in Vapour, where the fast-paced hi-hats sound so out of place and clip so badly in your ears, it sounds like your earphones are having a mini seizure, but not in a cool way. Meanwhile in Flaws, there’s this unnecessary, wack finger-snapping that makes it sound like I’m listening to some techno song with around 3000 views on YouTube (I do like his backing vocals in the track though).

At its best, tracks like the opener, Collapse, offer an actually powerful passage, in that song’s case, the hook breakdown, where the 808 drum patterns are actually very welcome, and the synths under it are very beautiful and harmonize really well. The final track, Rebirth, also attempts a grand breakdown of sorts, but falls flat because the song is so unnecessarily stretched out and weirdly segmented, and it’s so unexpected: the song is a slow piano/guitar ballad as usual, and then, around 3 minutes in, after the song fades out almost entirely and tricks you into thinking it ended, the drum kicks start rising and all of a sudden there’s... something? I don’t even know what instruments are playing apart from the  superimposed drums and what I think is an electric guitar, because it sounds like god knows what, an overheating computer mixed with some shrieking sound, which I assume is the guitar, way off in the background. And then Tim sings a last verse and the song suddenly ceases to exist. Same thing happens with the shortest track here, (Aftermath), consisting of 4 lines, your average piano and strings, and of course, the reverb. It builds up an epic instrumental, and after the brief singing section, just ends. No further instrumental work, just woosh. It’s gone.

I will give credit to Tim’s verses. Even though they’re always delivered with the same intonation, his lyrics are alright, and at least in Stakes, he employs some backing vocals that really make the track, and the hook is magnificent. They tend to blend into one another, with constant themes being metaphors for words he should have or regrets saying, the cold (obviously, given the EP title), sometimes drowning/large bodies of water, and of course, all tracks are about melancholy and heartbreak. But in some parts of the EP, his verses really do feel like some alright poetry, such as the awkward last verse in Rebirth (“I’m starting again, tearing my flesh, stripped to the bone, the all that I’ve grown. Leaving behind, breathe like a child. It’s taken the winter to find who I am”) or the already mentioned beautiful hook in Stakes. In most of the songs, however, I find his themes to be too repetitive and, I wouldn’t say uninspired, but run-of-the-mill.

So overall, the EP doesn’t amount to much. All the tracks attempt to go this emotional route, but they’re very repetitive, and that numbs them and robs them of their emotion a lot. Listen to it if you want to relax, or maybe even sleep to it if you want to take their name literally.

 WORST TO BEST: Vapour, Flaws, (Aftermath), Rebirth, Collapse, Stakes

 4/10

“I sunk in oceans blue, now they’re all frozen over. I should have took your hand, we should have crossed the border.”

 Steve Lacy – Steve Lacy’s Demo

Member of The Internet, singer-songwriter, guitarist, bassist, drummer and producer Steve Lacy is an artist I’ve wanted to check out for a while. I have at some point in my life heard his song Looks, off this demo, but thankfully I forgot how it went so I can check it out again. It’s gonna be a quick listen and review, but I’m curious (and while looking him up I found out he won a Grammy with Kendrick’s DAMN., for producing, backing vocals and songwriting, so that’s cool, congrats Steve).

Right away, I’ll just mention this project is very lo-fi. As in, the drums and his voice are poorly mixed. I’ll give it a little bit of a pass because this man played all the instruments in here and I appreciate the fuck out of that, but anyway. You can tell right at the first track that singing isn’t Steve’s forte, at least in this album, at this time. The hook in that song is just bad, the good part are the instruments, the guitar riffs and the very dynamic bassline, plus the fun little bongos. However, just like all songs here except Dark Red, this is waaaaaaaay too short. It has two short hooks, the verse, and that’s it. The songwriting, I feel, is one of Steve’s more substantial talents; this song I just mentioned is mainly about how a relationship can’t progress because the two involved don’t like much about each other apart from their looks, and Ryd is all about taking a girl to your backseat, but even though these themes are very simplistic, Steve fleshes them out into something more interesting and melodically rich. In Ryd, his smooth vocals surf over the sunny riffs, but what takes away from it are the weirdly mixed drums, as they sound like they’re playing way louder than they should be. The track is groovy though.

The most focused song here, Dark Red, tells the story of a man who’s worried his girl might leave him soon. The instrumentals are nothing special, very basic, and same with the vocals, even though they’re more rooted and solid in this song. The next song, Thangs, emphasizes its bass way more than other songs, but once again, Steve’s voice is not pleasing to listen to, specifically his high-pitched backing vocals, they’re awful. The lyrics are the most basic here, and this song just goes by without leaving any impact after ending pretty abruptly.

Haterlovin is weird. The vocals are way too low, but I like how they differentiate themselves by not going the melodic route, instead Steve chooses to rap them, and his flow in the verse is impressive, but at the same time the hook is way too repetitive for the song to work, and even though it’s nice he switched up and focused the track on the drums, it still leaves it pretty bare.

To close it up, Some brings some promise, with a pretty funky bassline and hook, but then ends out of nowhere and starts a hidden track, Snaily, which I admit has nice falsetto vocals from Steve, but I don’t know why I couldn’t be a separate track. Overall, the album isn’t great, but I appreciate how organic and talented Steve is. Throughout the songs, his creativity is pretty noticeable, so I can’t hate his efforts, but unfortunately his ideas don’t find the right light to shine here.

 WORST TO BEST: Thangs, Haterlovin, Looks, Some, Dark Red, Ryd

 4.5/10

“Next thing I know she was feeling on me, and I was in the M double-O D when she said park my car down the backstreet”

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.02 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Poor Archie... But omg Veronica in her Pop’s uniform, and the hot Riverdale dads all meeting up I’m in LOVE

- I’m so sorry you got the Midge treatment, Dilton... rarely seen and then the second you’re relevant you’re killed off. You didn’t deserve that

- So... after Betty has a seizure NO ONE stays with her to make sure she’s alright? Jesus she must be that annoying to be around lmao

- Wells Jaha got fucking RIPPED. Holy fuck. But if he ends up leaving the prison (somehow) with Archie, and not Joaquin, I will literally rip out my hair. ALSO Archie looks fucking amazing omg that outfit though... boys with sweatpants do something to me lol

- Oh no they’re suddenly going to make Veronica a bitch and look bad, and use the excuse of Archie being in jail to justify it... Veronica isn’t Betty, leave my queen alone she’s never been anything but nice to Cheryl, don’t make her randomly be mean now 🙄🙄

- Archie using his fake Serpent tattoo to get a seat at the Serpent table... was amazing bye

- JOAQUIN!!!! He totally is the Serpent King here isn’t he? What a fucking G. But if he has been here since riot night... he wouldn’t have been been there if he stayed. He probably stayed for Kevin (please go save him he’s about to sex it up Moose Mason 😷😷😷). Please don’t suddenly make him an annoying bitch ass because I’m my head he’s a sweetie pie.

- I know Archie’s a good guy but “I don’t need your protection that bad” we fucking know he’s going to need it in like five seconds...

- *ghoulies walk up, angry for him getting them in jail at the drag race* “look, guys, I don’t want any trouble” ARCHIE... I don’t think they’ll care. Also why does everyone want his shoes. I know it’s a prison thing I guess but like... Jesus.

- Evelyn Evernever is so fucking pretty and her voice?? I like it, I don’t know why

- Ew it’s Moose. SURPRISE KISS FROM KEVIN WAS SHOCKING BUT TOTALLY A KEVIN MOVE! But Moose if you slam him against that locker to shove him away from you again I will literally break Joaquin out of jail just to beat your ass to a pulp. Also, I thought Kevin knew he wasn’t ready and was going to wait so why is he suddenly trying to show PDA in school? Maybe he’s trying to make Moose give up on him so Kevin can be free lol

- “I don’t work here, I own it. And as of this moment, you’re not welcome here” Um hi we don’t want Veronica to turn into Betty, so can we not suddenly make her the mean girl again just because she’s not president in Archie’s spot? Thanks. Although “you cannot discriminate against someone because they’re better looking than you” UM VERONICA DID YOU JUST CALL THE QUEEN... TRASH? Cute little funny insult but why don’t you use this bitchy-ness on Betty, the only person who deserves it?

- Veronica and her mom still having a relationship makes me happy because before this I always figured that Hermione would be too afraid to not choose Hiram over her. But this makes me happy to see.

- Ethel. Queen Shannon Purser (despite the toxic role of Sierra Burgess)!!!! But I don’t miss her on here, I’m still mad about her throwing a milkshake at my queen Veronica (and Josie still has to apologize to her for making up that shit for the flier)

- oh look, Jughead finds out about something Betty kept from him... and it’s not going to make him get her ACTUAL help or trigger the other shit she’s kept and break them up... literally Jughead is actually almost likable and you just need that little bit to make him more realistic and likable. BUT FALICE, INSTEAD OF DOING THIS SEPERATELY, THEY ARE ALREADY TOGETHER. Bet they were doing something... sweaty and fun

- so... Betty is mad at her mom for telling her the truth? Jesus Betty can you be anymore of a dramatic bitch? Although I’m glad that she stopped Jughead and made them go home. For once let Betty deal with something without Jughead because she does stupid shit because of him

- Reggie 😍😍😍😍😍😍

- like... I wanna like Archie’s plan because that would mean Joaquin would play but... it sounds weird and stupid, but oh well. It’s better than anything Betty could pull out of her ass so

- “if that’s weird tea from the farm, I don’t want it” for once in your life can you just shut the actual fuck up betty Jesus Christ... although what a cute tender moment between Alice and Betty. For once.

- BETTY JUGHEAD ACTUALLY REALIZED THAT HE WAS WRONG TO BRING YOU INTO THIS SHIT AND YOU TELL HIM THAT HE WAS RIGHT TO? Maybe... just maybe... you need FUCKING HELP

- I was about to ask why Jughead hasn’t visited Archie in jail, but then I realized that Jughead became a little prick last season and attacked him all because he was on “Veronica’s side”

- “Moose, are you ashamed of me?” “No... I just... I’m with the guys.” He doesn’t deserve you Kevin! Maybe if someone would tell Kevin the love of his life is in Juvie he would go visit him and not Moose

- “that’s my girl” 😍😍😍😍😍😍

- I’m still not sure how I feel about the dancing at the jail though... like... those guys probably haven’t seen girls in forever and uhhhhh yeah. Also, wouldn’t they have to get in and whatnot to do all this with the guard’s permission because they look surprised. Like, I’d be thinking that this was a distraction for a jailbreak or something lol

- of COURSE the warden is a friend of Hiram’s...

- “as disrespectful as you’re being—“ she’s not being disrespectful Hiram shut the fuck up lmao she’s dancing and cheering on her boyfriend

- of COURSE the guards make it a riot.

- DON’T HURT JOAQUIN 😭😭😭

- Everytime Cheryl talks about her road trip with Toni, she basically remembers all the mind blowing sex that we sadly didn’t get to see OML

- “Ethel were here to help you but you have stop lying” coming from Betty... who lies about the smallest of things lmaooooooo let Jughead do the talking

- Ethel’s seizure looked... weird but okay. Tbh this is why I can’t be an actress— I would laugh so goddamn hard because I laugh at everything

- YES VERONICA WE LOVE A DEDICATED GIRLFRIEND

- Kevin... no. Moose isn’t fucking worth it!!! Moose looks so pissed at him too like... KEVIN ISN’T IT CLEAR THAT HE JUST WANTS A WARM MOUTH TO FUCK (I can’t ever not say those words when it could be applied thanks to Mickey Milkovich) HE DOESN’T WANT TO ACTUALLY DATE YOU

- Archie you don’t ask the bad guy about his plans when he could easily kill you and no one would bat an eye... WHAT THE FLYING FUCK DOES IT MEAN TO BE TAPPED OMFG

- if the parent’s secret is that they either started this shit (the game, somehow, the drug blue lips thing, or something like that) I’m gonna be so pissed because that’s stupid af

- Ben’s suicide was... wow. I mean I don’t know why they didn’t slowly approach him because clearly he wasn’t threatening to do it if they got closer, but still... Jesus Christ. Since that’s yet another traumatic event that Betty has witnessed can we PLEASE get her into therapy and away from Jughead so he can stop adding her into his stupid fucking crime-solving boner-inducing mysteries?

[fuckepilepsy]

EPILEPTICON 2017 GIVEAWAY

In my EpileptiCon 2017 announcement post (link), I mentioned that I would provide some incentive to participate in the festivities. Well, here it is:

 This is an Epilepsy Care Package! It is designed to help you recover from seizure activity. Before I get to the contest rules, let's talk about what's inside. A fuzzy sherpa throw blanket.  This is a 60" x 80" sherpa throw blanket made by Bedsure. It has a five-star rating on Amazon and one of the reviews suggested that a unicorn may have pooped it out, it is that nice. This blanket will cover your snuggle-up needs following a random neuron dance party. A heating pad. A standard 12" x 24" electric heating pad. It is not luxurious like the blanket, but it is a workhorse, and it will provide you with the heat you need to soothe your aches and pains. A stuffed animal. You may be thinking, "I am an adult. I pay bills and watch R-rated films and have no need of stuffed toys." Well, maybe that's true, but sometimes you need something to hang onto, and I think this toy sloth will do the job.  It has a firmly-stuffed body and head with floppy arms and legs. It does not have claws like a real sloth. That would not be cuddly. It will provide you, the person with epilepsy, with some small comfort in your hour of need. Fuzzy socks. Personally I feel that comfort clothing is vital when recovering from seizures. I assume you have that covered already, but I doubt you have fuzzy socks. These are pretty rad. The leopard print will probably not help you recover from seizures in any tangible way, but who knows? Perhaps the absurdity will cheer you up. A sleeping mask. @thetwitchylife suggested this to me. Sleeping off a seizure is usually the straightest avenue to recovery, but it's not always dark and quiet when you need it to be. This mask has a four-star rating over 9700 reviews on Amazon and comes with earplugs, so I feel pretty good about it. Leaf water packets. Do you like tea? I don't. But @captainfantasticspastic insists that this Traditional Medicine brand "Nighty Night" caffeine-free tea is a great help to her when recovering from seizures. And I took her word for it. Protein bars. Gluten-free and four in number. Two are peanut butter, and two are chocolate. I had to go into the hippie store for these. I had never been in the hippie store before; I normally buy highly-processed and probably-mostly-sawdust food from large retailers. So I was a little lost amongst all the organic soy products and whatnot in the hippie store. But a nice guy named Bryce helped me out and directed me to these protein bars, which will help restore your strength following a seizure. Bryce told me that his mom has epilepsy, and he was pretty stoked on the idea of an epilepsy care package, so I trust his professional judgement concerning gluten-free protein bars. A pillbox fob. Pictured atop the sleeping mask box. I use one of these to carry around my emergency anticonvulsants with me wherever I go. This one is water-resistant with a rubber seal. You can unscrew it, drop your pill(s) in there with a little padding (I use a little tissue), and you go. Carrying some spare meds around with you in a small, discrete container will reduce the chances that you wind up somewhere without your pills when you need them. There is an x-factor here: just knowing that they are always on hand is reassuring in times of trouble. A small notepad. I honestly did not intend to include a notepad in an epilepsy care package, but for some reason it came with the fob, so I'm passing it on to you. It has a picture of Totoro on it. I don't know why that is, either. I guess you could write a note that says "DON'T CALL AN AMBULANCE YOU FUCKSTICK" and tape it to your forehead if circumstances that call for such an action should arise, but that's up to you. Toys. I am including two "mystery bags" that I found in the toy aisle at the pharmacy. You may not be a fan of Mario or Lego Batman, but opening up a surprise gift is one of life's little joys. Save these for those bleak moments when you regain consciousness after a tonic-clonic or stumble home after a day of clusters.

HOW TO ENTER:

Let me be perfectly clear about something: this giveaway is not about getting notes or increasing my follower count. Reblogging/liking this post or following me are entirely unnecessary, and won't do anything to help you win this staggering bounty of tools for seizure recovery. But If you have friends on Tumblr who have epilepsy, do give them a shout for me.

I have one objective here, and that is to increase the epilepsy community's participation in EpileptiCon 2017. That being said, I am treating my giveaway like a raffle. Here's what to do:

1. Have epilepsy. This contest is exclusively for people who have epilepsy.

The able-bodied are not qualified. However, we're on the honor system here, because I will not for one second ask for proof of a diagnosis because that would be creepy and intrusive no matter the circumstances.

Understand this: I sold hours of my life to an employer who seems hellbent on owning every spoon I have to give to be able to buy this stuff, because I desperately want to give people who have epilepsy something just for them to be excited about. I want us to be able to have fun together for just ONE week. So if you do not have epilepsy, sit this one out.

2. Make posts here on Tumblr that pertain to epilepsy.

Tell stories, draw comics, lash out in a furious burst of rage, write a poem, shitpost every ridiculous epilepsy-related idea that pops into your head. If you need ideas for what to do, I will be providing suggestions daily.

3. Tag your posts with #epilepticon.

I will also watch #epilepticon2017, and the other epilepsy-related tags. You can also tag my url. If you don't want to have it on your blog, for one reason or another, submit your post to myself or @thetwitchylife, who cofounded EpileptiCon with me. The bottom line is that I need to see it one way or another!

4. MOST IMPORTANTLY: Tag your post with a number between 1 and 1000.

You can make as many posts as you like with a different number on each one.

I have already decided on a winning number. Whoever guesses closest to the number will win. In the event of a tie, the win will go to whoever guessed first. Every epilepsy post you make will increase your chances of winning.

EpileptiCon 2017 begins on November 1st, and runs for a week.  At the conclusion of EpileptiCon on Wednesday, November 8th, I will identify the winner. Bear in mind that winning the EpileptiCon 2017 Giveaway does mean that you will have to provide me, an Internet stranger, with a mailing address. If you're not comfortable with that, I hope you will participate anyway, just for fun.

I hope to see at least a modest amount of participation, because as you might have noticed, all this stuff is purple, as that is the official color of epilepsy awareness. But guess what? I fucking HATE purple. I am not keeping this stuff for myself. So take it off my hands, won't you?

All boxed up and ready to go!

Tagging the other epilepsy blogs to spread the word:

@thetwitchylife @captainfantasticspastic @epilepsysupport @the-seizure-blog

[tokyoteddywolf]

My Aunt Is Awesome

Okay, so my aunt is 40 something and is my favorite person in the world, (sorry Mum) and she is the best person in the world.

She joins protests to protect the Earth, she goes to Medieval Fairs and dresses up in real armor and her boyfriend makes real weapons (his name is Shane, he is a blacksmith, he has a lazy eye and he is fucking awesome as hell. He even let me try out a real spear he made, and a sword, and a short sword/dagger.), she’s a badass fighter, and she has 3 kids, one of them recently born.

Most of all, she’s a lot like me, and we understand each other really well. Sometimes if i need a break, i go over to her place with it’s crazy calmness and 2 dogs and 3 cats and i’ll chat with Shane over D&D classifications and whatnot or i’ll chill with my aunt on the couch and complain about why i needed a break. The main reason being Steve.

The story behind Steve is that he used to live with my aunt and her boyfriend in an old apartment, which they got kicked out of because of renovations. So my Mum in all her kind glory (which i half hate, half love, there’s a reason for this too) allowed them all to stay with us, my aunt getting my room while i moved into Mum’s room, and Steve getting the basement. My aunt Wendy isn’t......exactly the best person. She’s a little bit of a hoarder, and she gets paid by the government because she’s mentally ill. (Sometimes i think she’s more sane than me or my Mum, because she’s actually crazy smart but i don’t remember which illness it is, but i love her all the same.) So if you give her money, she probably won’t pay you back. Well, she’ll try, but my Mum kind of insulted her a little so they kind of had a falling out which led to Wendy and her bf (not Shane at the time, actually) moving out.

Steve stayed. I regret letting him stay. Mum regrets it too. But he stayed, and the next 4 years of my life became hell. Well, worse than usual with my “teen angst and violence” as Dad so fondly calls it (while quite happily pulling me into an armbar while we wrestle on the ground and i have to tap out before i turn and tackle him into a headlock that he easily ducks out of by flipping me over his head). Anyway, Steve wasn’t so bad at first. He helped around the house, cleaned, was quiet and kept to himself. Then he started dating my Mum. that’s when things stared going wrong, after Wendy moved out.

He started being more.....loud, i guess? It started small, so Mum didn’t really notice. But he would tell me to clean more, and how to do it, and insult me while he did whatever it was i was supposed to be doing. This went on for two years straight. He couldn’t keep any of his friends around, and he argued a lot with the neighbors. When he was angry, it was like a violent child having a temper tantrum, throwing things and yelling at the top of his lungs, but never harming me or Mum. I think he knows that if he tries, he’s on the first bus out of here. I got into plenty of screaming matches with him, and he always told me to shut up because i was just a kid and i wasn’t important in adult matters.

I have a short temper too, so i would always yell back. Mum was getting tired of this, so she told him to move out about a year ago. But, as i mentioned earlier, my Mum has a heart of gold, and when she tried to break up with him, he wheedled his way back in. But he did move away for a little while.....but he was still clingy, so i almost never saw my Mum. She was always over at his place. I can’t remember the tally count of how many times she’s told me in secret that she just wants some space from him, and how she misses being around me. I can’t stand him. I’ve never hated anyone as much as i’ve hated him. Which is why i avoid my Mum, because wherever Mum goes, Steve is right there, glued to her side. I hate doing it too, i hate avoiding my Mum because of that....that- tumor stuck to her! He smells, he smokes, he’s loud, he always thinks he’s right, he could care less about me and acts like he cares about me, but he really doesn’t if any of the screaming matches mean anything. And the complaining drives me crazy! It’s always something about his back or how his ‘friends’ ripped him off or some other annoying bland story about cars or working on the house or blah blah blah and i hate it! he’s also invasive! Sometimes, he’ll jumpscare me for fun, or try to tickle me. That’s a huge no for me, since i only allow my close family to do that. Steve is not my family, never will be. Plus, it hurts when he does it, and he thinks i’m joking when i say “stop”. He clings to my Mum, and is always chattering at her about something or other, and i can never get a full conversation with my Mum with him there because he butts in with some stupid topic, and i get pushed aside!

I hate it. I hate him. I especially hate that when he has a screaming match with me or Mum, he goes out and smokes and suddenly acts like we’re best friends. Like he’s bipolar or something, but no, it’s just that damn cigarette. Mum hates it too, but she’s too nice to tell him no, or to leave, or to get rid of him. All because he treats her nice. THERE’S NO POINT IN THAT IF THE NEGATIVES OUTWEIGH THE POSITIVES, MUM. But, it just doesn’t get through her head. Her entire family, me, my aunt, my friends, everyone is telling her to get rid of him, but she can’t for some reason! It’s awful just watching it. I’ve gotten so sick of it that i’ve just stopped trying to talk to her about it, and i’m just avoiding her now, and she doesn’t understand and i can’t explain it because it wouldn’t matter anyway. me or him. She says it’s me, but it’s really him. Because if it were me, she could probably dump me with my dad and call it good, but nooooo Steve is all alone, and his family is terrible to him, and he treats me like a queen, and he cares and yadda yadda yadda-

What am i then???? 15 years mean nothing i guess??? I’m your own daughter??? What the fuck???? I’ve saved your life from diabetic shock seizures since i was 4????? This is the thanks i get????

This is where my aunt comes in. She and i often conspire different methods to make Steve disappear. I wish Aunt Wendy was my real mom. She understands me better and takes no bullshit from anyone. She’s cool, and nice, but she’ll smack you if you really fuck up. Mum and Dad don’t understand why i like her, but hey, two wrongs make a right, ya know? Sometimes i wonder why my parents are the way that they are. I’m just.......really tired of living with someone i hate and someone who doesn't understand why i’m always alone and hiding in my room with just the internet to keep me company.

My Dad always said that while my Mum was booksmart, she’s an idiot in common sense. I’ve never agreed more. (Sorry Mum.)