#whatever's going on in lower decks today. it's relatable.

[relatablepicturesofgarak]

[daddysfangirls-anime]

Young Aizawa

summary:  my hero academia One shot where Aizawa brings his 3yrs old kid into school and hangs out with 1-A? cute moments with Todoroki and Bakugo?

As Class 1-A stood in formation in front of their teacher the one thing they were all thinking was. Who’s the kid? They could already guess that the child had some relation to Aizawa the dark hair, sleeping bag, and tired ‘I’d rather be sleeping than here’ look. Heck the kid was almost a carbon copy of him the only things telling them apart was their clothes he was decked out in black she looked like a kitty cat rainbow threw up on her.

“Everyone listens up, I’ve got a little class project. Really this is a project for Todoroki and Bakugo but I want the rest of you to assist them if needed.” Bakugo was a bit irritated right now he had planned to spend the day training he hoped whatever this was would go by quickly so he could get on with his training. Todoroki didn’t really care he didn’t have plans for the day.

“As you failed the second half of your pro-hero licensing exam due to your inability to work in teams and interact properly with civilians. This is for you two. This is my three-year-old daughter (Y/n). Your assignment watching her for the day.”

“WHAT?!”

The entire class screamed they were shocked one that Aizawa actually had a child and two that they’d have to be watching her for the day. They had a million and one questions but Aizawa wasn’t up for answering them looking at his daughter he looks her up and down then looks back at the class.

“Good Luck”

And with that Aizawa quickly left before his daughter could fully comprehend what he said or done. While she was trying busy comprehending the class was busying arguing about their teacher dumping a kid on them.

“Everyone calms down, we can handle this” Iida said trying to calm everyone down.

“We?!” Bakugo says “ Aizawa gave her to us we’ll handle the brat the rest of you can go to hell.”

“AAAAHHHHH” Midoriya suddenly screamed rushing to the door. It was then that everyone realized that while they were discussing (Y/n) she walked right out the front door.

“W-where are you going?” Midoriya asks a bit panicked but trying to stay calm.

“Daddy” is all she says as she continues walking down the sidewalk where she thought she saw her father walk off too.

“um... w-well-”

“Oi brat your old man is gone he left you here,” Bakugo says as he takes her hand and leads her back towards the dorms.

“Why?” she asks

“Because he had some important stuff to do, I don’t know.”

“he comes back, right?”

“he better I’m not spending the night taking care of a brat.”

“who’s a brat?”

“you’re the brat”

“oh...sorry “ she pouts.

The females in the classroom were not having this separating (Y/n) from Bakugo they began to scold him for being mean to him. And telling him how he should treat her.

(Y/n) stood off to the side not really knowing what to do. “ He means well he’s just... a bit rough” Todoroki said as he squat down next to her “ do you want a snack?” she nodded. Taking her hand Todoroki led her to the kitchen for some ice cream no one even noticed the departure.

“This is coming much don’t you think” Midoriya said as he sat between (Y/n) and Todoroki eating his own ice cream as they sat on the floor watching Bakugo argue the girls in their class. This had been going on for the last 10 minutes. Just when they thought it was over Bakugo would say something and the argument would start up again.

“Why is he so mean?” (Y/n) asked

““Bakugo isn’t -he’s not....I don’t know” Midoriya said he really couldn’t defend his friend when he was acting like that.

“Enough” Iida said stepping between Bakugo and the females in the classroom. “ we are setting a bad example for Young Aizawa.”

Everyone turned to look at (Y/n) who was sitting on the floor eating ice cream with Midoriya and Todoroki. She was making Todoroki taste her ice cream tell him hers was better than his.

“Sensei has left us in charge of her so we must treat her with the up most care.”

“You’re being a bit dramatic” Denki said a few of them sweat dropping at Iida over exaggerated hand movement, more exaggerated than usually at least.

Ochaco walked over and kneel in front of (Y/n) “ Hi-” Before she could even get a word out Bakugo walked up and pushed her out of the way.

“Oi, what do you want to do?” he asked

She thought for a moment looking at her melting ice cream. “ Sleep”

Everyone sweat drop she was so like her father. With a nod Bakugo left the room a moment later he returned with a sleeping bag “Here” Shoving the last bit of her ice cream in her mouth she takes the sleeping bag and hops in. (Y/n) then flops on the floor and caterpillar crawls until she is underneath the coffee table  where she stops.

The class sweat drops as they hear her light snoring. She’s just like her father.

“Do we just leave her there?” Ojiro asked a bit concerned for the child sleeping under the table in the middle of the room.

“I don’t think that��s safe” Momo says

“Maybe we should move her”Midoriya comments

“OI SHUT THE HELL UP SHE’S SLEEPING” Bakugo shouts he takes a seat on the couch and turns on the TV turning the volume very low. He hears whispers he turns around glaring and growling at them everyone shut up. And for the remainder of the day no one spoke above a whisper.

-

“YO” Mic stepped into the dorms with Aizawa and All Might his shouting was followed up by a book to the face and a very loud ‘SHHHHH’. Everyone pointed to the Coffee table stepping forward Aizawa sees his daughter sleeping underneath the table he sighs.

“How long has she been asleep?” he asks in a whisper Todoroki ignoring Bakugo’s heated glare.

“Since you left. I gave her some ice cream, I hope that’s okay, Bakugo gave her a sleeping bag and she crawled under the table. She’s been asleep ever since. “

“Bakugo has threaten to kill anyone who’s voice goes above a whisper. It’s been pretty quiet.” Denki said Bakugo threw a book at the back of his head. He was too loud.

“Thank you for watching her for the day. I’ll take her now” Aizawa said as sqauted by the table and began to poke his young daughter “ Wake up, sweetheart, time to go home.”

“Daddy no” Shew whined as he pulled her out from underneath the table she cringed at the bright light and pulled the sleeping bag over her eyes.

“Yo mini-Aizawa” Mic said recovering from his assault.

“lower your freaking voice” Bakugo said, very loudly at that.

“I am elder, I am your teacher you should respect me.” Mic said poking Bakugo’s forehead. Bakugo picked up a book and he flinched “ You can’t assault a teacher”

“Then learned to lower your god damn voice. You’re going to wake her up. Teacher or not Who ever wakes her up is dead” Bakugo threaten sending a shiver down Mic’s spine having him retreat behind All Might. Who was just watching the scene unfold.

“Aww, I think young Bakugo has grown a soft spot for Young Aizawa” All Might teased watching a light blushed dusted the boys cheeks. He threw a book but All Might dodged it. With a growl Bakugo stomped off.

“Thank you, again.” Aizawa says pulling (Y/n) out of the sleeping bag and into his arms “ Maybe I’ll let you guys babysit again”

“I thought this was an assignment” Iida said. Aizawa gave him a look that translated to ‘ you actually believed that shit’ before completely ignoring him and waving goodbye and walking out.

It wasn’t until he was a good distance from the dorms that he spoke up.

“What was that? You were suppose to give them a hard time.”

“I’m sorry daddy. They were so nice. Todoroki gave me ice cream. And Bakugo gave him a sleeping bag it was real comfortable. I fell asleep.” (Y/n) said as she looked at her father. Today’s plan was for her to wreck havoc on the dorms and challenge the student you know being a typical brat and messing things up. But (Y/n) was just an angel and couldn’t find it in herself to be a bad girl.

“So precious” Mic gushed

“It’s okay. You did fine. Did you have fine while you were wake at least?”

She thought for a moment tapping her chin cutely “Midoriya cried. Bakugo’s loud but funny. I’m going to marry Todoroki.”

“That’s nice” double take “wait ....What?!”

[tnpsychics]

Lee Seokmin tarot reading -t.

hi guys! we got a request for this reading and we'll soon post one about jeonghan too. i will try to do my best since i personally am not really familiar with seventeen's members individually. today we'll look at dk's:

current energy

love life

career

future overall

remember, nothing stated here is a fact!

everything is for entertainment purposes only.

without further ado, let's get started.

tarot deck: quest tarot by joseph martin

oracle deck: daily guidance from your angels oracle cards by doreen virtue

[current energy]

knight of pentacles reversed, 10 of swords, death

he feels defeated and depressed because his life has become dull, he's stuck in the hustle lifestyle and he's trying to get out of this routine. he may start taking on new hobbies or try different things to try and diversify his everyday life. hanging out with friends more would be good for him at this time. i don't know if he's one of the more well-known members or not he's like a workhorse to the company, they might try and push him to work even more but he's already tired and overwhelmed. he's trying to take it easier so hopefully he will be able to get some rest and eventually feel lighter and happier because right now he's far from lively.

[love life]

queen of swords, wheel of fortune, 6 of pentacles

he's got his eyes set on a person most likely identifying as a woman, potential air sign. he feels this person is like a gem he stumbled across by chance or even destiny. he's building foundation for this relationship to grow and be worked on, whatever their status is at the moment. things are looking good for now. it's not too serious still, they need a bit more time. this person might not be that interested in dk as much as he is in them. but the possibility them getting together if they're not already dating is quite realistic.

[career]

5 of pentacles reversed, 8 of wands, 8 of swords reversed

he may get more opportunities outside of the group but he either won't take them because it's all too much for him or he'll do the work and get even more stressed. there's too much going on with him already, he doesn't feel ready to take on new work related things. there's also a lack of vision, he's not entirely sure what he wants to do with his career. there a few paths he can take but it's hard for him to choose and he doesn't feel particularly connected to any of them. i'm thinking of something related to acting, so for example he might want to star in a drama he's just feeling stuck doing only music. that's only an example though, it may not be the case. he should clear his mind and think carefully about what opportunities he takes on and which ones he passes on.

[future overall]

7 of swords, 7 of cups, 8 of pentacles

he's continuing working really hard, he's a literal workhorse. constantly doing something and that's lasting for quite a bit of time. he's going to feel unfulfilled though, feeling like he could do better and feeling underwhelmed. he might also hit some kind of realisation that makes him even more depressed when it comes to working. guys i honestly don't know much about the group but i think you should be pretty worried about this guy... seems like he's in a bad place mentally. he has serious tendancies of overworking himself and he's still never satisfied with the results. he really needs a break.

[advice from spirit]

ground yourself, cleanse & detoxify, notice the signs

first of all, he's in deep need to chill and slow down a bit. clear his mind would even help him in the long run so hopefully he takes his mental health seriously. he also needs to be more realistic and lower his expectations because he's never going to be satisfied with himself if he puts himself to standards higher than a normal person. there's also this lingering realisation i was talking about. i honestly don't know what it's about but it's going to affect him so there's even more reasons for him to cool down.

that's all for dk, at least for now. jeonghan's reading is coming up soon so look forward to that! feel free to share your opinion or make reading suggestions. until next time ❤️ -t

[jonahlovescoffee]

On A Bright Summer’s Day | J.M.

a/n: first thing first! before any one attacks me for not being asleep at this hour! this! post! is! queued! because why not celebrate him turning 23 with a good ol’ smut that some of you might already have read before :P (ps. this means it’s my birthday tomorrow so yayyyyyyy haha) so enjoy my lovelies <3

summary: why not do it on the pool deck when no one’s home?

warnings: smut, smut and more smut

word count: 3177

It was a lovely afternoon with the sun shining brightly and the high sunlit clouds drifting idly across the clear blue sky. The weather was slightly warmer than usual, but it was just the way you like it to be; so of course the first thing you did when you reached your boyfriend’s house was to take a quick shower before changing into fresh clean clothes, or to be exact, one of Jonah’s t-shirts that hung loosely around your petite figure despite having more than enough of your own clothes kept in his closet and a pair of shorts. You figured Jonah and the others were tanning at the pool deck, which was what they’d normally do on a warmer day like today but when you opened the sliding doors that led to said area, you were surprised to see that Jonah was the only one there relaxing on a sun-lounger while scrolling through his phone.

“Hello there, pretty girl,” Jonah flashed a grin at you the moment you entered his line of vision. You involuntarily licked your lips when you beheld his sun kissed skin that seemed delectable to taste, his beautifully toned abs that you wanted nothing more than to trace with your fingers and not to mention his pants that were worn so low around his waist that showcased his prominent v-line and left nothing much to the imagination. You could feel a familiar sense of hunger stirring in your gut and it was definitely nothing related to needing food.

“Hey, handsome,” you said sweetly, hiding your sinful thoughts behind a warm innocent smile. He switched off his phone and put it away immediately, choosing to focus on you instead. You plopped down onto his lap, the perfect seat that you had claimed since day 1 of dating him. “Having a nice time sunbathing alone?” You teased but instead of shooting any retorts back at you, he looped his arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, till your back was against his front.

“Everyone else had plans today so I’m the only one stuck at home with nothing to do but it’s definitely better with you here now,” you could feel his breath near your neck as he leaned closer to your ear to speak, his voice holding a soothing raspiness as always. His fingers toyed with yours leisurely, the mere feeling of his calloused fingers from years of guitar and piano against yours already more than capable of taking your mind places.

Oh, how much you need them to trace every inch of your skin and watch them glide lower…lower…and lower…

“Y/N?” The sound of him calling your name startled you, instantly pulling your wandering mind back into reality.

“Yes? What did you say just now?” You looked up at him beneath your lashes, just in time to meet his soft gaze on you, completely oblivious to whatever that was going on in your mind a second ago. You were thankful that humans couldn’t read minds, or else you would’ve died of embarrassment on the spot. Plus, it would be rude of you to ruin a peaceful moment like this when all he clearly wanted to do was relax and not you, wouldn’t it?

“I said,” he leaned closer, so close till his breath managed to tickle your ear. “Will you care to join me?”

“It’ll definitely make me a bad girlfriend if I leave you here sad and alone after missing me all morning, right?” You replied teasingly.

He let out a hum of agreement before suddenly saying, “But you can’t do it like this.”

You raised your brows, confused, not quite catching what he meant. “What?”

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” he remarked, tongue clicking in mock disapproval. Slowly, his hands travelled downwards and he tugged the hem of your—his—t-shirt, as if to emphasize his point. His voice dropped to a low whisper. “No one wears this many layers for tanning.”

You inhaled sharply as you realised what he was implying.

“Turn around, baby, and let me get this annoying fabric off you,” his voice was huskier now, with an edge of authoritativeness and you couldn’t help but obey whatever he said. With several quick shifts of your body, you were facing him, legs placed on each side of his body in a straddling position, rolling your hips subtly against his crotch, with the excuse of trying to make yourself comfortable but he wasn’t bothered in the slightest.

As a matter of fact, he merely laughed at your feeble attempt to make him get hard. “Oh, my sweet, sweet angel,” he shook his head, highly amused. “You know that it takes more than that to get me worked up don’t you?” It was a lie but you didn’t need to know that, just like how you didn’t have to know about how he couldn’t think straight the moment you entered his sights wearing one of his favourite t-shirts that fit you so perfectly and the sweet little bashful smile that you knew he loved, you were basically begging for him to fuck you right then and there in broad daylight. He didn’t want to initiate anything without your consent at first, but from the way a lustful expression seemed to glaze over your features once you saw him, it was confirmed that both of you were definitely on the same page. “Lemme show you how to properly turn someone on, yeah?”

“First, you take off their clothes,” he pulled your shirt over your head and with a little maneuvering, managed to take off your pants before tossing them aside.

“Then, you drag your hands over their body, to make their mind go wild,” his hands travelled from the soft, supple skin of your thighs and up your body, over the curve of your waist and the swell of your breasts and onto your arms to lead them around him so that they were eventually wrapped around his neck. Goosebumps bloomed wherever his hands moved. His touch was as warm as the rays of the afternoon sun and the contact of his hand on your body that was still slightly cooler because of the shower you had just taken felt like you were being kissed by the sun itself.His roaming hands stopped when he reached your neck, leaving one hand to wrap around your throat, pressing his fingers lightly into your flesh, his grip successfully making your breath hitch at the back of your throat.

“Lastly, you kiss them like this,” he pulled you in to connect your lips and you almost couldn’t catch your breath when he didn’t waste any second to start the kiss off slowly. Lips pressed against each other’s, he nibbled on your plump bottom lip with his teeth harder than necessary, till drops of blood surfaced, all the better for him to suck on your ichor, a gift he found himself never worthy of but desperate enough to have it all the same. He used your gasp as an opportunity to slip his tongue into your wet cavern and started exploring every inch of it with the kind of ferocity that made every thought in your mind dissipate into nothingness, leaving only a mantra of more, more, more echoing in your dazed mind.

Which was why your hands soon found their way into his soft brown hair, entangling themselves through his strands before giving it a harsh tug to deepen the kiss. You might not be the best at foreplay, but if there was one thing you’re good at, it’s kissing.

“That’s it baby, fuck, you’re doing so good,” He groaned through the kiss, which made you smile.

“What can I say—I learnt from the best,” you replied cheekily when your lips parted for a brief moment to catch your breaths before he chuckled and pulled you back in. The kiss started to get sloppier once you started to grind your clothed core directly against his crotch. Palm finding itself on your waist, Jonah gripped you ever so tightly to push you even harder against the bulge that was now evident in his pants. Arousal pooled at your core from the bliss of it all, until the kiss was broken because of your inability to concentrate as the hunger, the need for him continued to grow to the point where you were a whimpering mess in his arms.

He watched your lewd expression as you dry humped his dick atop the throne you made of his lap, biting back a low groan that was threatening to escape.

Oh, you were always so exquisitely beautiful when you’re needy; flustered with sweet melodious moans being emitted from those pretty swollen lips.

“Aww, my sweet little whore, you’re already so desperate for my cock, aren’t you?” He asked in a degrading tone and a mewl was the only response he received from you. “Come on, baby, use your words and tell me what you want,” he coaxed, patting your cheek lightly.

With considerable effort, you managed to speak between ragged breaths. “Want...want you inside me, Jo.”

“Alright, babygirl. Now sit still,” He cupped your cheek gently and you nodded obediently like a cute little puppy, halting your movements immediately, even though the action made your southern region ache from the sudden loss of any sort of friction. “That’s a good girl,” he praised before reaching down to remove your soaked panties first, tentatively letting a finger glide along your folds and was pleased to find your pussy drenched with want, the brief touch enough to send shivers up your spine, pushing a shaky moan out of you. “Perfect,” he placed a tender kiss on your lips. He pushed his pants down, and his dick sprang out of its constraints and slapped against his abs, already hard and leaking with pre-cum. You were practically salivating at the sight of his length on full display despite having seen it numerous times before. He wrapped a hand around his dick, giving it a few good strokes before saying lowly, “See how hard you got me, baby? It’s all for you, sweetheart.”

“All for my pretty little angel,” his fingers dug into your hips as he pulled you forward and positioned you above his erection, the slight contact between your pulsing core and his tip was enough to

Your mouth went dry as you looked downwards to see his length slowly disappearing inch by inch inside you, stretching out your tight walls beautifully and your mouth fell open a little, just enough for a pleasant gasp to slip out.

“So…so big,” you whimpered a little when you were fully settled on his cock, staying still for a couple moments to adjust to his size before starting to move upwards slowly, then slamming down to the hilt. Again and again and again.

The lower half of your body bounced without any rhythm whatsoever, only the urge to chase the pleasurable high that could only be given by him and no other. Jonah wrapped his arms around you, fingertips ghosting over the soft skin of your waist to hold you steady as best as he could as you continued to work your magic until he was throwing his head back against the back of the chair and groaning as you increased your speed gradually, with your eyes closed and your mouth open in an ‘o’ shape, releasing breathy moans that were music to his ears.

“Oh, fuck, just like that, baby, taking my cock so well like a little whore, hmm?” He cooed as you picked up your pace. The head of his cock, the veins, the loose skin- you feel everything about his length as you bury him deeper inside you, hitting your sweet spot. Your back arched as the tip of his cock presses against the bundle of sensitive nerves, in sync with the sinful sounds that left your lips, almost drowning out the sounds of Jonah’s own blissful groans every time you sank yourself down onto the hilt. You let your hands travel across his bare torso as you rode, relishing the feeling of all the rock hard muscle underneath your fingertips that was the result of him constantly working out over the last few months.

“Feels good, sweetheart?” He asked when he heard the soft whimpers that fell from your lips.

“Yes, Jo,” you managed to say through bared teeth, as the pleasurable pain tore through your body with every thrust. “So so good.”

The smacking of skins crescendoed into loud beats throughout his backyard, and he reveled in its symphony accompanied by your cries of ecstasy. You continued to make sure that each succession of your ass meeting his thighs crashes deep and hard around him.

Everything started piling on top of each other all too fast. It wasn’t long before Jonah felt that surge coursing through his cock from your rapid pace and the delicious clenching of your cunt as you neared your peak. It made his brows narrow tightly from the overwhelming pleasure. Your walls seemed to close in around him and you gripped his shoulders tightly for leverage as it got harder for you to slide up and down.

“J-Jonah, I’m close,” you breathed, looking up at him for approval.

“Wanna cum, baby?” He asked, and in that very moment his questions felt like the biggest blessing you had ever received.

”Mhm…please…oh my gosh,” you nodded profusely before bottoming out again, your fingers digging into his skin. “Please.”

“Okay baby. Don’t worry, I’ll make you cum quickly, kay?” He soothed and sure enough, ecstasy shoots through you as he takes the lead at the last second, thrusting up harshly to prod deep inside your womb and you let out a soft cry of his name as you finally hit your high, releasing all over his cock, followed by him spilling his seed inside you, filling your insides with warmth as he praised you under his breath for being such a good girl for him and how great you did.

You fell onto his body immediately and he didn’t hesitate to hold you close as you laid your head on his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart, completely exhausted. You shared lazy touches and soft giggles like two lovesick idiots, and he didn’t even bother to pull out of you, letting you cockwarm him for the time being, since it was still early and none of the guys were home yet.

But life was filled with surprises.

The sliding doors were suddenly pushed open with a terrifying brashness before you and Jonah could even react. You looked up and was beyond shocked to see Corbyn standing there in an unpleasant expression you had never seen him wear before. He was so furious that if looks could kill, you and Jonah would be dead by now. You curled your body in Jonah’s arms on instinct, to try and hide you and your almost naked body from Corbyn’s view as your cheeks heated rapidly out of embarrassment, thinking that he was pissed that you and Jonah were being too loud while unbeknownst to you both, he was still at home.

Therefore, shock was an understatement when you heard what he said next.

“Jonah I need you to drive me to the police station now,” He said with a horrifying calmness and Jonah, who was busy trying to shield you with his body from his bandmate’s view, looked up instantly at Corbyn in surprise at the mention of his name.

“What? Why all—“

“Emily and Daniel got my baby BMW fucking impounded,” he explained through gritted teeth. “Because they literally fucked in my car after taking it out for a wash.”

You didn’t know whether to laugh or be disgusted once you fully processed his words and you weren’t the only one suffering from that dilemma too. Jonah’s face looked hilariously constipated as he tried to suppress his laughter by wearing a mask of seriousness to match Corbyn’s.

“So get your keys and get changed quickly. I need to save my baby,” Corbyn ordered coldly and turned on his heels and walked back into the house with a slam of the door behind him, not even acknowledging your presence.

Thankfully, with his vision clouded by nothing aside from the burning anger in his veins, he didn’t notice the questionable state you and your boyfriend were currently in.

Seconds ticked by before you fully processed what had just occured and came back to your senses.

“What the heck, Jonah? I thought you said there’s no one home!” You whisper-shouted at him as you both were forced to move apart from each other to put on your respective clothes after he pulled out of you.

“I didn’t know Emily and Daniel were the ones who took his car out for a wash,” he was quick to defend himself while pulling up his pants with one hand and habitually reaching for his shirt you were initially wearing with the other.

“Hey! Hands off!” You swatted his hand away aggressively before grabbing said shirt and holding it tightly against your chest. “This is mine.”

“Baby, please, Corbyn is kinda in a rush here,” he pleaded but you weren’t giving in that easily.

“What do you want me to do, then? Walk to our room topless?”

“Corbyn is already outside waiting for me so the house is empty,” he reasoned but you merely scoffed in return.

“I don’t think I can ever trust your words on that after today,” you stuck your tongue out at him before putting on his shirt, the soft material reaching your thigh as you stood up, wobbled a little because of your legs that were still asleep because of what happened moments ago, then falling into his arms that were already outstretched in preparation to catch you, knowing very well how your legs seemed to momentarily malfunction after sex. He always mocked you about it but it secretly made him happy (or maybe even a little smug) to know that he was able to pleasure you till this extent. With a firm arm wrapped around your waist, he led you back into the house.

“Fine, I’ll go change upstairs,” he eventually sighed in defeat, to your delight. You chose to remain in the living room as he returned to his room. It wasn’t long before he reappeared at the top of the stairs in a new outfit.

“So do you want to come with us?” He offered as he descended the stairs quickly, his hand combing through his hair to make it look somewhat neat and decent. He started to make his way to the front door, not forgetting to give you a brief peck on the lips when he passed you by.

“Nah, my legs are sore thanks to you,” you waved him away with your book. “Plus, the last thing poor Corbyn needs to know now is Emily and Daniel aren’t his only friends who love to fuck in risky locations.”

taglist: @spicy-seavey @neralondon @anora-lightwoodbane @randomlimelightxxx @hopinglimelight @kvd963 @cutiebandlover202 @savspersonalproperty @slowdownatthelotusinn @angelmarais @freakshows199 @my-fangirling-outlet @the-girl-who-cried-wolf @sadbitchfangirl @hopinglimelight

[talesofsonicasura]

Broken Toys

Chapter 1: Bleed, I must be dreaming

Tragedy can give rise to many things. Rumors, change, legends than just suffering and heartbreak. One such creation had very bizarre habits in the eyes of a particular noodle shop owner. Warning: minor blood, slightly description of death and injuries, extraction of harmful object(goes with the minor blood), mild swearing, and one super creepy child. Prologue

'The Great Megapolis Raceway Disaster. On April 7, 20XX, an semi-annual street race had their route improperly marked and blockaded. As a result, the racers end up turning down a street full of people instead of an empty road.

The result was all 12 cars crashing into various buildings and bystanders as they tried to come to a halt. 30 injured with 7 being the drivers and 25 dead as 10 victims had succumbed to their fatal injuries. Strangely, 10 year old Qi Xiaotion, a child who was hit directly by the lead racer's car, body has subsequently vanished.

Police haven't found the missing child or any possibility he could be alive except for the remains of a Monkey King Plush and what is assumed to be the child's right arm and lower torso. Search is ongoing and any future updates are unknown.'

This national incident was widespread throughout the community of Megapolis for two reasons. One was that some of the victims had been either high up or related to powerful corporations throughout the city. A few of the casualties were rumored to be descendants of both well known demons and even some celestials such as the Yellow Wind Demon but also rumored Jade Emperor for some of his soldiers were said to be seen in the city.

Some speculated this was a planned terrorist threat but no evidence had been found. The second reason is the creation of an urban legend known as the Broken Toy Phantom. On that very day, the body of a 10 year old child had gone missing. After that, sightings of a strange entity began to crop up.

Witnesses said it looked like a child but had cotton coming from open stitches and sharp blades out of their skin. Whenever the Broken Toy Phantom was spotted, the chance of a large monster in the form of a destroyed children's toy would be there. It is said that if you meant no harm should you encounter this phantom, it would leave you alone.

To try and harm the phantom was met with the claws of the broken toys that protected the child. Only warning one had if they were in the presence of the Broken Toy Phantom is the vague image of a monkey plush that held glowing red eyes.

Pigsy's Noodles

It was a warm early morning for the city of Megapolis. The last dredges of Spring were slowly dwindling as Summer was almost here. A time of year for the popular restaurant Pigsy's Noodles to begin changing their menu in preparation for the hottest season.

This modest establishment known for its delicious noodles, homely and comfortable atmosphere was also a precious treasure to the owner. A pig demon nearing his 40s named Pigsy, this short and stout man was not only the store's owner but also the cook.

Every dish he made was handcrafted with strong dedication and passionate based skill that could be felt through every bite. So imagine the 5'2 tall pink skinned and dark blue eyed demon's face when he went to open up his shop for today. Lying at the front by the side of the door was a child.

A young boy probably around 10 years old who sat around 3'7 in height. Long wild dark brown that haven't seem to be washed in days, soft tan skin with a large stitch under his right eye alongside some on his arms from the man could see, an orange shirt with violet sleeves and red collar that were stitched on, black pants with the bottom half blue jean material that were also stitched on, violet sandals made from leather, polyester and felt fabric sewn together, and the creepiest doll he ever seen cuddled in the boy's arms.

It looked like one of those very rare limited edition Monkey King collectible plushies that his friend had been ranting on about. The only difference was the gold thread eyes were replaced with bulging white plastic eyes and the flat face instead had a large openable muzzle bearing large white felt teeth.

Despite laying on solid concrete, the young boy was comfortably fast asleep almost if used to doing such a thing. A bit confused and worried, Pigsy placed his keys in the breast pocket of his white polo shirt then walked up to the child. For a second, he thought the toy's bulging eyes went from looking at the ground and by proxy his black dress shoes and black work pants to stare the pig demon straight in the face.

Whatever the case, it didn't matter as the child began to wake up. Chocolate brown eyes looking straight at Pigsy, a look of nervous embarrassment came across the boy's face. "Heh heh… Looks like I overslept a bit." In seconds the child had jumped to his feet faster than any normal person could.

The nameless boy clutched the ominous Monkey King plush closer and put on a nervous smile. "Sorry about that sir. I'll get out of your hands now so you can open up shop without an issue." And before Pigsy could say anything, the child skipped away into an alley just as quickly.

The restaurant owner could only frown before heading into the shop. Homeless people weren't anything new, especially in a big city like this, but it stung more when a child is forced to survive on the harsh streets. All Pigsy could do at the moment was wish the young man good luck.

Next time the middle aged pig demon saw the mysterious kid was once again by his restaurant. It was nearly closing time when the bell of the shop's door rang. The establishment isn't anything grand, a few booths, stools set up at the front near the register, some potted plants and pastel white walls decorated with a couple photos.

Pigsy had poked his head from the back of the door to see that very kid walk in warily. Once again, he felt the eyes of the kid's plush looking straight at him. The restaurant owner had a feeling the doll was magical as the kid spotted him in seconds.

"Hello there. Welcome to Pigsy's Noodles. Please sit down and I can get you a menu." Pigsy put on a soft smile since he really didn't want to scare off the poor kid. The unknown boy nodded before sitting himself at one of the bar's stools.

When the restaurant owner had come back with a menu in hand, the kid's Monkey King plush was sitting on the table almost perfectly. By perfectly it meant that the doll didn't slouch and sat straight with the same dexterity of a living being.

Pigsy shrugged the oddness off and gave the kid his menu. "How are you doing today?" The restaurant owner's question had the boy look a bit from his menu. Shrugging at the inquiry, the child answered. "I'm doing fine. May I have a bowl of chicken lo mein please?"

Pigsy didn't take the menu just yet but had gone to the back to fix the boy's food. As he made the order, the demon could hear his customer talk from outside the kitchen. Or sing to be more accurate. "An old toy sat on the desk watching the day go by. Missing cotton, tons of stitches, a cherished plaything looked to the sky. The toy said: I may be damaged but I am beloved. Even broken toys like me can be loved."

The restaurant owner paused for a moment. He never heard a nursery rhyme like that before. It was strange but in an endearing sort of way. Pigsy had come back with the kid's bowl of lo mein to see the child was shuffling a deck of cards in his hand.

The man didn't recognize the brand or had a good chance to look when the boy had placed them in a deck case and deposited it into a sewed-in pocket. "One fresh bowl of chicken lo mein, enjoy kid." Rubbing his hands happily, the child grabbed a pair of chopsticks and dug into his food.

Pigsy cleaned up the remaining dishes while his young customer ate his food in silence. Once the demon had come back, the child and plush were suddenly gone. Not even the doorbell had moved an inch almost if the boy just vanished. In his place was some money alongside a note.

"Thank you for the meal, it was delicious. Have a good night and sorry for sleeping in front of your shop the other day. From MK and my little buddy Guarn." After reading the note, the restaurant owner had softly smiled before taking both the paper and cash left behind.

It was the only beginning of a MK's nightly visits. Near closing time, Pigsy was greeted by the child and his peculiar plush. At first, the boy wasn't much of a conversationalist. Something worrying since most kids the pig demon saw weren't this quiet even around strangers.

MK was also never without his plush Guarn. Pigsy had a suspicion that the plush was magical as he always felt that those plastic eyes were very aware of their surroundings. Whenever the restaurant owner felt like the doll was watching him out of the boy's view, MK seemed to know his presence. Almost like a separate pair of eyes.

He didn't know the child's situation other than homelessness and maybe magical plush but he had a feeling there was more to it. MK will open up when he is ready and Pigsy was a patient person. The demon did add some extra portions to the young man's bowl though.

A growing child needed proper nutrition or their growth would be stunted. He may be rough but the restaurant owner was far from heartless. In less than two weeks, MK began to open up more. That was the same time one of his regulars had also come back.

This 'customer' was one of his human friends known as Tang. A raven haired man who considered himself a scholar of sorts, and didn't really pay for the noodles he kept eating. Normally Pigsy would chase any dine and dashers out of his establishment but Tang was someone he could trust.

The scholar had gotten him out of some nasty jams in the past and someone he could talk to whenever the demon's stress reached its peak. Now you can imagine Pigsy's surprise when he saw Tang chatting animatedly with MK. The child who rarely talked was now chatting the spectacle raven's ear off.

Once again, the feeling of the Monkey King plush or Guarn came apparent as the child faced the restaurant owner with a sheepish grin. "Hey Pigsy, I didn't know you had a kid." That one sentence from Tang had both the demon and kid sputtering in seconds.

Between the two of them, MK had found his words. "No Mr Tang. Mr Pigsy is just a very nice man who gives me extra food when he thinks I haven't noticed. Plus, I'm pretty sure he hasn't filed any adoption papers yet." MK said, that sheepish grin becoming mischievous as he made Guarn blow a kiss.

The scholar laughed at the restaurant owner's further flustering face almost if the whole thing was planned. Something that was plausible considering this was Tang of all people. "Very funny you little minxes. What were you guys even talking about since MK doesn't really talk much around me?"

Pigsy's question was met with the little boy shaking his head. "I didn't want to bother you since you were probably tired and closing up shop. Mr Tang and I were talking about different legends like the Monkey King for one." The pig demon blinked his eyes in surprise.

So the reason MK was so quiet is because the kid didn't want to bother him? How considerate. "I appreciate your concern but you don't have to be silent all the time. Whatever topic or thing that pops in your head, you can talk about it. Might not always answer but that doesn't mean I'm not listening." Pigsy explained, the child nodding thankfully at his words.

That was one mystery about the kid out of the way. Only for Tang to bring up another. "Do you know that little MK here is an incredible craftsman? Show him that design you were working on." Smiling, the kid pulled something out of his pockets.

It was an incomplete small red tapestry depicting a peach tree that sat above a collection of clouds. The restaurant owner could only gawk at the masterful detail and skill that could easily be seen throughout the work. Every detail was as accurate as a photograph and not a single thread out of place.

"Holy moly kid! You made this?! I'm pretty sure you just put every seamstress from the Celestial Realm to shame." MK beamed happily at the restaurant owner's compliment. The kid was definitely a hard worker and that showed through his craft.

Even though culinary and weaving were different crafts, Pigsy could see the hard work, skill and dedication of a fellow artisan. "Thank you! I also make clothing and toys in my spare time. A good way to earn money so I can enjoy more of your tasty food."

From seeing the tapestry alone, both adults had a feeling that MK's clothing and dolls were made with equal skill. It did raise a question though. "Is your outfit like a fashion statement then?" Tang gestured to the boy's patchwork clothing.

Pigsy hit the scholar on the elbow for the offhanded inquiry but the child didn't seem bothered. "It actually is. You see I make all my stuff from mostly scraps rather than fresh materials. 'One man's trash is another man's treasure' type of ideology. Also recycles a lot of stuff people throw away that can still be used." MK flashed them a big toothy smile alongside his explanation.

Both men hummed at the answer. Like any big city, Megapolis had an issue with littering so the place was practically a gold mine for crafty people such as the kid. "Let me take your guys' order, and MK… you don't have to come by so late all the time. Come whenever you can and if anyone gives you a problem then I'll handle it."

Pigsy could only smile at the ecstatic look in the kid's eyes before the child ran over to both men. After that particular night, MK began visiting sometimes around mid day. On occasion, the boy would bring some of the crafts that he made.

Beautiful red ribbons decorated with gold dragons, a jade green cheongsam that held a silver depiction of a nine tailed fox, some plushies consisting of a gray rat with a heart in its paws, an ornate doll that wore a beautiful crimson Chinese dress and a white rabbit with a mallet used to make moon cakes.

Every piece was extremely well made alongside a story that MK would share with Pigsy or Tang. The rat plush beared the story of a fallen rat who was given a chance to relive their last day, the ribbons were of two dragons that strive to be with each other for eternity, and cheongsam was for a prince who escaped the life of royalty to live with a earnest farmhand that won his heart.

It only made both adults wonder how a talented kind child like MK ended up living on the streets by their lonesome. On a warm summer night, Pigsy was cleaning the front of the shop. The little boy wanted to help out around the restaurant so the demon let him wash the dirty dishes. Tang was also in the shop regalling a particular urban legend around Megapolis: the Broken Toy Phantom.

"-the Broken Toy Phantom must be a type of poltergeist. A very rare occurrence that poltergeists would roam with their haunted possession but the information all leads up. I even speculate that the phantom could have been brought to life after the Great Megapolis Raceway Disaster." Pigsy kept quiet while cleaning the tables but listened to the scholar's theory tangent.

The restaurant door suddenly opened with a loud slam, the restaurant owner turned around to be met with a gun aimed at his head. Pigsy didn't have to look to know that Tang had his hands up in the air since the scholar was now silent. Of course the pig demon needed a robbery once in his life.

From the looks of it, there were only three armed robbers with two being men and one woman. A white deer mask, black ski mask, and a turban paired alongside a thick bandana hid their identities. Right now Pigsy was praying to Guanyin that they don't find MK.

The kid wouldn't be able to survive a bullet should these bastards get trigger happy. "Alright, you two fuckers better listen to our demands right now. Give us everything you own and Porky here can open the register." Spoke the deer masked robber, poking the barrel of the gun to the restaurant owner's back.

Reluctantly Pigsy walked over to the register and took out the key. He was about to open up when… BANG! Horrified blue eyes watched as Tang fell to his knees, blood pouring from a bullet hole in his leg. The pig demon saw Tang's phone on the ground before the turban wearing robber stomped it to pieces.

"Call for help again then the next shot will go through your head, Four Eyes." Spoke the black ski mask who cocked his gun to reinforce the threat. Pigsy wanted to run over to Tang, treat his wound or help him up. However, he couldn't unless both of them were looking to get shot.

And the two hostages felt their hearts drop upon one single sound. "Excuse me." Standing on top of the bar table was little MK. Strangely, Guarn wasn't in the kid's hands as both were crossed against his chest. A large frown and judging chocolate eyes of the unnaturally calm child were aimed at the three robbers.

"What are you doing to Mr Tang and Mr Pigsy?" MK's once kind lively voice was now dead and cold like a grave. Neither the scholar or restaurant owner couldn't help feeling unnerved at the sudden change in the kid. It felt so wrong. Something that none of the robbers had noticed.

"It's a robbery little dipshit!" A haunting laugh came out of the kid, MK's eyes were alight in a twisted glee paired alongside a malevolent smile presenting unnaturally sharp teeth. "I know what a robbery is, you sad excuse of human scum. What I'm asking is why none of you haven't left yet?"

All three of the criminals were caught off guard by the little boy's taunt. None of them felt the child's ominous aura unlike Pigsy and Tang. What stood before them wasn't the same little boy that they've gotten to know over the past two months.

This was Death in the form of a 10 year old kid. "You barely have any mercy from me after this whore shot my friend in the leg. Lucky you that I was in a good mood, leave now or suffer the consequences. Know that you only have one chance between all three of ya cowardly worms!"

Offended by MK's threat, one of the robbers, the turban-wearing woman, aimed her weapon at the child. "Say goodnight brat! You have no power over us! That petty threat will be your last!" Finger on the trigger as she was ready to shoot the boy.

MK, still unfazed, shook his head almost if he was disappointed at the woman's choice. Then his smile grew so wide that it nearly tore the sides of his mouth, an insane look burned in now orangish brown orbs. "I warned ya. Davy Jones." With no warning, two long violet tentacles shot out from the darkness behind MK.

Both appendages wrapped around the woman and the man who shot Tang as the third deer mask robber watched in growing horror at what stood before them. Standing behind the 10 year old with two of the robbers wrapped in thick violet tentacles was a giant 15 ft violet plush squid.

It's squid capped head had four of those cap ridges with red stripes but also three mini tomahawk blades on the center top, black squid eyes that positioned on the sides of the mouth which held sharp teeth and a pair of glowing magenta eyes within the darkness, six small light cyan underside violet tentacle bearing some tomahawk blades, and two triple sized tentacles that had a black armband bearing a white skull n bones on the larger right.

"YARRRG! Those who dare trifle with Captain MK shall face the blades of Davy Jones!" A gruff, lightly deep, and growlish male voice ripped the monstrous toy's open mouth. Both caught robbers let out a strangled cry from the tentacles tightening their grip.

Immediately the remaining robber quickly went to shoot the monster plush or MK only for his weapon to be snatched from his hand's grip. Deer mask slowly looked down at the floor to see his gun in the paws of a particular bug eyed Monkey King plush.

Tang, Pigsy and the robbers saw a pair of glowing red eyes stare at them from within the small toy's mouth. Guarn then bit into the barrel of the weapon, felt teeth easily tearing through the metal and plastic like a hot knife against butter.

The immense shock nearly made the scholar and restaurant owner almost miss MK delivering a jump kick to the deer masked robber. Enough strength behind the blow to not only shatter the robber's mask but knock em fully unconscious. Davy Jones tightened his grip further until the two snared robbers fell limp like their comrade.

Pigsy immediately ran over to Tang once knowing they were now safe. The little boy followed suit, his ominous aura gone while the large plush kraken harshly dropped the two robbers. "Mr Tang, please bite on this while I get the bullet out." MK handed the raven a red plush oven cloth.

Pigsy had to put the rag in the scholar's mouth as he was too busy staring in shock at MK's fingers. The index and ring fingers of the boy's hands were torn apart by black claws growing from inside. Tang let out a harsh muffled scream when those sharp obsidian claws dug into the wound.

After a few seconds, MK pulled out the bloody bullet. He dropped it to the ground so he could pull out a sewing kit and needle. "I'm guessing you're the Broken Toy Phantom." Pigsy spoke for Tang while the boy began to sew the wound close. The little brunette merely nodded as he thread the needle through the scholar's leg.

"Yep! Although I'm not really a poltergeist, just a newly minted toy demon. Didn't think I had to bring out any of my Frightfur family so soon. Honestly, I hope that I had more time to figure out how to introduce you guys." MK tore the thread off the needle once it was sewn tightly.

Neither adult said a word since the kid did have a point. A giant plush kraken bearing razor sharp teeth and tentacles that ended with large tomahawks wasn't exactly friendly looking. Or the implications that MK had more than one of these peculiar beings.

Both men's thoughts on the subject were derailed in surprise when the sewed up bullet wound shrunk until unmarred skin was left. "Healing Suture Thread, perfect for minor to serious injuries. It works on humans too rather than just Frightfurs, Fluffals or Edge Imps." The little boy turned to see Davy Jones finish tying up the three attempted robbers.

Guarn waddled over to the brunette, climbing up the kid's clothes then situated itself on MK's shoulder. Tang took the rag out of his mouth and suddenly hugged the toy demon much to the latter's surprise. "We're just glad you're okay. You gave us both a heart attack back there with that stunt."

Davy Jones let out a hearty laugh from the flustered look on his smaller companion's face. Pigsy couldn't help the chuckle that came out of his throat to the little boy's further surprise. Soon enough, MK found himself laughing with them as he hugged the scholar back.

If this was a dream, then he didn't want to wake up. Moments like this should last as long as they can.

And that's it! MK has officially met Pigsy and Tang. I can say that the MK you are seeing at the moment...is more than he seems to be. Something that will be looked over in the next chapter.

Tang and Pigsy are going to take more fatherly roles involving our newly minted toy demon. A factor being MK's age and situation when they first met.

MK will be 21 when I get into the LMK series and there will be changes to particular episodes or plot pilots. Any major changes will have the episode title be replaced with a song.

Now people have been wondering MK's actual age in canon out of general curiosity and a certain pairing called Peachnoodles for certain artists and writers have been frowned upon. The driving law in China requires the person to be 19 in order to legally drive, so MK has to be 19 or a bit older in canon.

I hope this clears stuff up for ya curious folk.

The song used for this chapter is 'Bleed, I must be Dreaming' by Evanescence. Actually thought of using Evanescence's Imaginary but this felt more suited.

Will be going over the remaining Fluffals before we reach the next chapter for Broken Toys! Stove Novas next chapter is in the review stage so be on the lookout for that next! I'll see you guys back at Megapolis.

Song used👇

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[fanfic-scribbles]

Life of the Party

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: Hiding from the latest threat to New York isn’t exactly how you wanted to meet your soulmate, but it will be a funny story to tell later. Much later.

Quick facts: Romance – Bucky Barnes/Reader – Nondescript Reader

Warnings: Soulmate trope where the first words you say to your soulmate are written on their skin, gun-related peril that is glossed over and doesn’t result in anyone getting hurt, Reader and Bucky are awkward dorks

Soulmate words: “Don’t relax; we’re not safe yet.” and “Boy, you’re a real party, huh?”

Words: 1510

A/N: Everything sorta fell apart this week, writing-wise, but all is not lost– I have a little collection of random sentences I made into soulmate prompts and I’m finding them in the strangest places as I search for something else. I might post more of them as one-shots if this block continues, hard to say. For now please enjoy this little fic starring Bucky and Reader, featuring Steve Rogers as Excited And Supportive Mom Friend.

 ~

Living in New York was never supposed to be this dangerous.

And yet, here you are, squatting in a shot-up store that is empty save for you and this one guy who looks like he could possibly be one of the laser-gun-toting militia if he a) hadn’t saved you from getting shot in the head and b) hadn’t been hanging out with Captain America before excessive gunfire had forced the three of you to separate. Naturally, instead of being stuck with star-spangled eye candy, you’re crouching behind a man decked in all-black clothes with countless pockets that look like they’re all filled with weapons of some sort.

Admittedly, the guy is just as built as Captain America, but your brief interaction with the captain had made you feel reassured even while being stuck on the wrong side of a firefight– this guy is silent and sullen and keeps glancing back at you and huffing in frustration, like you’re an annoyance.

Today sucks.

You suck in a breath when footsteps come by you but the guy– Winter-something– somehow pivots silently in steel-toed boots and grabs both your hands with one of his. You flinch in surprise, but his grip is reassuring, and he puts his other index finger to this lips. You give him a look you hope communicates the ‘no shit’ you’re currently feeling, and one side of his mouth quirks into a small smile. Okay…intimidating, maybe, but he is certainly attractive– perhaps even more so than the captain. So sue you; all black is a good look.

He drops the straight line of his shoulders and peeks out, and you realize it’s completely silent outside. You allow yourself to slump and sigh.

“Don’t relax; we’re not safe yet.”

You don’t even realize it at first; you’re so fucking done with the whole damn day you just roll your eyes and say, “Boy, you’re a real party, huh?”

He freezes in the middle of loading a gun and you gasp when you realize when he just said. Well shit.

“You know,” you chuckle, because what is your life right now, “–I thought we’d be in the middle of pulling off a prank or something. Not, you know, a war zone.”

He shakes his head. “I didn’t…think of it,” he says, then flinches and looks at you, brows creased in worry. Or is that aggravation? No, that looks like worry.

“Cool,” you say and smile at your soulmate. “I have no expectations to live up to. That’s nice.”

The lines in his face soften. He raises one eyebrow. “What expectations do I have to live up to?”

You run your hand over your arm absently, though the words are covered by a jacket. His eyes flick there and linger. “Well, I always thought you were a troublemaker,” you say lightly. “But here you are, saving my life.”

As if remembering that you’re not just playing ‘hide from the gunmen’ for fun, he looks out of the broken window, eyes scanning the street. “We gotta find Steve,” he says and takes your hand. You follow as quickly as you can while trying to remain as small as possible. “He’ll get you out of here.”

“And you?”

“I’ll cover you.” He squeezes your hand and stops at a corner. He turns his head to look at you. “I’m…James Barnes. But call me Bucky.”

You tell him your name and you take a few seconds to revel in the surreal reality of finding your soulmate now. From the looks of it he does the same, and then reluctantly turns to peer around the corner. You hear distant noise coming all too close again, sounds of a battle you wished would stay in whatever sci-fi dystopia it came out of.

Somebody grabs your shoulder from behind and you launch yourself against Bucky, wrapping your arms around his middle. He spins around and moves so fast that you don’t know how it happens, but in the end you’re held tight against his front by one of his arms and with the other hand he’s pointing a gun in the face of Captain America. Captain Rogers, in turn, looks far too relaxed for someone literally staring down the barrel of a gun.

“Jesus Christ Steve,” Bucky says and lowers the gun, but he lets go of you very reluctantly.

“Did I miss something?” the captain asks curiously, his brow furrowing as his eyes dart between you and Bucky.

“Words,” Bucky grunts and turns back to look out. It’s stupid, but you miss his hold already.

It takes a moment, but then Captain America gets as soft as a suburban mom hearing that her teenage son has his first date tonight. “Really?”

A bullet hits the wall nearby, close enough that you feel shards of something bounce off of you. “Not the time!” you and Bucky snap in unison. You can’t help but look at him, only to find he’s already smiling at you.

But shouting from behind the slapdash blockade makes your heart speed up in the not-fun way. “You better come out of this okay,” you say, trying for a warning tone but your voice shakes too much for that. “You owe me a drink at least.”

“I’ll buy you two,” Bucky says and moves in suddenly, like he’s going to kiss you, only to come to a nearly-as-sudden stop. You both hesitate, but you lean forward and Bucky takes the opportunity to give you a light kiss. Even while looking at you he says, “Steve,” and Captain America takes your hand and pulls you away. You look back for as long as you can, until you turn a corner and can no longer see your soulmate.

~

A week goes by, then another, and you’re sitting at a bar in misery, idly pretending to scroll through your phone while staring at the phone number Captain Rogers (“Steve, please, you’re my best friend’s soulmate, I can’t believe he finally found–”) gave you for Bucky. You…haven’t called it. You have about a thousand different excuses that all boil down to two fears: reaching him…and not reaching him.

Someone clears their throat right next to you and you jerk hard enough that some of your drink splashes out of the cup and onto the bar. “Shit,” you curse and quickly wipe it up with the tiny napkin before you turn to see what this guy wants from you. And freeze.

Because it’s…Bucky. Wearing jeans, a soft-looking shirt, and a leather jacket with gloves that match. He shuffles awkwardly, drink in hand, and asks, “This seat taken?”

“No, uh– of course not,” you say and even pat the empty stool next to you.

He sits down and, before you can navigate away, he looks at your phone. You cringe but he smiles at you. “Just about to call me?”

You can barely look at him. “I, uh…wasn’t sure if it was okay. If you were okay.”

His eyes soften. “I’m fine.”

“Good,” you say. The two of you are silent and you take a sip of your drink so you don’t feel so bad about it. Bucky glares at something behind you and you want to turn around but…you have an idea of who’s there.

“Did Captain Rogers give you my number like he promised?” you ask.

Bucky ducks his head. “Yeah,” he mumbles and then straightens up. “Sorry, I…I was scared too,” he admits. He stops looking behind you and squints at you. “You don’t have to call him ‘Captain’ you know.”

“I know, but it bothers him, and from the looks of you he’s eavesdropping, so he can get fucked,” you say and hear a vague choking sound from somewhere behind you. Not right behind, thankfully, but you hear the loud laughter of a different man, and that makes you wince. “Not just him, I guess.”

“It’s okay; they’re all getting lost now,” Bucky says, grinning. He leans in and you can smell sweet-spiced cologne. It makes you want to get closer, bury your face in the crook of his neck, inhale everything he is (because he’s yours), lick and nibble at that soft ski–

You swallow hard and take your mind off that track before it gets too far away from you. Bucky swirls his drink and if he noticed you lusting after him he’s polite enough not to mention it. “So,” he says. “We’re both too chicken-shit to call each other. How are we going to do this?”

It’s said in jest, but he isn’t completely wrong– although you’ve taken care of yourself so far, and so has he, so it’s not so daunting to think about. “Well we know we’re both disasters.” You hold up your drink and smile. “What else might we have in common?”

Bucky looks at your drink, slowly smiles, and clinks his own glass against it. His other hand– gentle, warm even through the glove– slides over yours and lightly grips around your fingers. “I can’t wait to find out.”

[haikyall]

A Splash Wouldn’t Hurt

Synopsis: A luxurious vacation, a vacation you know too well mainly cause it was only in your dreams. But Inarizaki Men's VBC decides to change that.

WC: 4078

Trigger Warning: none

Genre: Fluff

Parining: Inarizaki x Manager!Reader

It was homeroom period when you received a tap on your left shoulder as you were writing notes on what your team members— the Inarizaki Men’s Volleyball Club— should improve on. You look at the direction it came from, you realize there was a figure beside you that was eyeing your work. It was Osamu “Wow, you’re making notes on us? How cute of you,” Osamu says, peering over your notes.

“Yeah, I mean it’s the least I can do as your manager,” You sigh, looking at your notes which included a whole list of what certain members were good and what they should do to improve things they weren’t good at.

“You know, the semestral break is like a week away right?” The wing spiker starts as he sits at the table in front of you. He settles down his bag down and brings out a notebook related to the first period. You were well aware that the semestral break was a week from now. You have been planning to…… well, sleep the break away. You never had any plans to enjoy it, even if you were not part of the middle-class economy, you just felt lazy.

“Yeah, what about it?” You say paying attention to your teammate that was looking at you with an expectant gaze.

“Well, Atsumu and I are having a little yacht party.” Osamu starts. Wait a damn minute… a yACHT PARTY? A Y A C H T? Your eyes widen at what you were hearing, Osamu just smiles at your reaction, knowing well enough that even if you’ve known the twins your whole high school life, you still get overwhelmed at just how wealthy they were as star athletes.

“And the only ones invited are the whole team, without the coaches of course, and by the whole team, we included you on the list.” The second-year continues, okay, I mentioned your eyes widened, this time your eyes went out of your eye sockets. Osamu laughs, loving the reaction he’s getting. You couldn’t believe him. They don’t possibly want you to come, maybe they asked you out of pity and hoped to say no.

“But, I’m just your manager…?” You say, still confused at the offer. Osamu just smiles.

“We appreciate you more than you think.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, the boys looked at you not as a club mate or as a manager, they looked at you like you were their little sister. They genuinely want you to go. But you didn’t know what to bring or do on a yacht, mainly because you’ve never been to one or even seen one. Last time you “saw” a yacht was at your d r e a m s.

“We want you to come, it’s fine if you don't bring anything aside from things you’d bring to a beach like towels or sunscreen.” He trails off. He then looks at you dead straight at the eyes with a pleading look.

“Even I would be sad if you didn’t go.” You felt a little amount of heat creep up on your cheeks.

“…You guys… want me to go?” You hesitantly ask to which Osamu nods eagerly.

“Outings as a family won’t be the same without you,” The second-year says with a small smile on his face, still waiting for you to take the offer. You were still hesitant, how are you going to tell your parents about this? Fortunately, Osamu read exactly what’s on your mind and smirks.

“Kita-kun took care of your parents and they agreed” By this time your jaw fell to the floor and Osamu laughs again, thinking your reaction is cute. You fell silent, what else was stopping you from bonding with them?

“… You want me to bring some marinated lamb? Or steak?” You start, flipping through another page, making a list of what to bring, keeping in mind the favorite foods of each member. The wing spiker is shocked.

“Waaa, you know us that well huh?” You only smile as a reply. The school bell rings, signifying the start of class.

“Start with preparing your luggage for a 5-day trip. Kita-kun will send you the other details.” Was the last thing Osamu says before he turned in front, ready to greet the teacher, leaving you in bewilderment.

‘A little fun with water balloons won’t hurt as well right?’ You thought to yourself, not interested in the class. To others, it looked like you were taking down notes for the class. You scribble away more ideas to make the event more fun.

________ First Day 5:00 am

Your parents dropped you off the dock that you were supposed to meet the boys. You were immediately greeted with Kita, Oomimi, and Akiga. All three hugs you and says their greetings to your parents. Oomimi and Akiga took your belongings and took them to the yacht while Kita thanked your parents for letting you go and bringing you to the dock safe and promises that you will return in alive and in one piece.

“Ahh, our sister is here!” Atsumu greets you with a hug. Osamu takes some of the luggage that Akiga is carrying, seeing that he is struggling.

“You can receive serves and all but you can’t carry a bag?” Osamu disses the libero to which Akiga bites back with

“You’re lucky the volleyball is already inside the damn yacht”

Ojiro just smiles at you saying, “Would you like a roommate or you wanna have a room to yourself?”

“I’ll have a room to myself if that’s fine?” You ask shyly.

“Of course it’s fine you precious little thing!” Atsumu exclaims, ruffling your hair in the process.

“Just beware, we might knock on your door to annoy living hell out of you” The setter teases.

“Today we plan to be a chill day so after the twins do their tour, you do whatever you want and all that,” Kita says.

“Oh, and if you feel the boat speed up or slow down that’s mainly cause Suna-chan is manning the wheel” He continues. Wait a holy minute-

“Yes, Suna has a license and is trained by his father so we should be fine and yes, he knows how to stir the boat, darling” Osamu —who came back together with Akiga and Oomimi after putting your luggage on the boat— completes your thought.

“You’re so cute when you’re shocked like that” Ginjima gushes while the other boys just chuckle.

“Let’s board the boat, shall we?” Atsumu leads the group into the twins’ luxurious and— I kid you not— enormous yacht. You kinda ended up gawking at the boat since it is pretty huge and it’s your first time. Your gawking only ends because Akagi lends you a hand to get on the boat.

“You can stare when you get on it” Akiga teases you, making you turn to a little cherry as you say your apologies and step foot into the yacht, you just end up marveling it at its glory.

“Just like the ones in the movie right?” Atsumu teases. As the group fanboys on how cute you looked when you were processing that you were, in fact, in an actual yacht, you eye the outside portion of the yacht, a bar with stools where the boys were hanging out, some white sofas and grey bean bags with a center table, a grill and the main attraction, jet skis that were parked on the yacht.

“Are these actual…” You trail off, Osamu smiles at your speechless.

“Jet Skis? Why, yes they are. They are like my babies” Osamu answers.

“Hey ya trap, they’re my babies too!” Atsumu shouts from the bar.

“The twins have a rule that the room picking will happen a little later after the tour so that you can see which room you want.” Kosaku trails off. You nod as you understand the meaning of the rule.

“And it’s a fun game honestly. We also leave our bags at the dock until the tour is over, we won't be making any stops on the islands you will see, it kinda just sight-seeing” He continues and walks over to the twins to which you follow.

“Ya ready? Cause there’s a lot more to take in besides the jet skis” Atsumu teases and you just get a bit more flustered. Cue Kita hitting Atsumu on the nape and the team laughing at them.

“Cut the manager some slack, ‘Tsumu, not everyone’s as fortunate as the two of you” Kosaku states.

“Can we start the tour already? I’m dying to take a nap” Suna yawns and the twins start the tour ________ Time Skip: to 6:00 am

There were essentially 12 rooms all of which have a queen-sized bed and a washroom that has a bathtub and a separate shower hall. There was also another bar with a karaoke and billiard room with some game consoles like Xbox 360, PS4, etc. A gym, a kitchen and dining room, a sauna and jacuzzi a changing room, a viewing deck, and an inflatable slide at the roof of the yacht. The only staff there was were maids, 4 bartenders, a few bodyguards, and another guy that is licensed to stir the boat when Suna is busy.

You and the boys were hanging out at the lower deck which was where you were gawking the jet skis. They made you decide on the room you want. You chose the room nearest to the viewing deck since you like to take the view in from the night.

“Well, now our dear sibling over here has a room its a matter of competition for us” Atsumu states, and Osamu just sighs and looks at you with a tired expression.

“We’re gonna race two to see who gets the room they want, we let you get your room so that you can take down who gets which room.” Osamu gently explains. You nod and reach for the notebook inside your bag, it became a mannerism for you to bring your club notebook wherever you went with the boys… including this one.

The first pair were the twins, then Kita & Oomimi, Ojiro & Ginjima, Suna & Kosaku, and finally, Akiga & Riseki. Was it chaos? Of course, it was. The twins ended up getting the same room so you had to negotiate a war of rock, paper, and scissors and Atsumu being a baby per usual because his older twin got the room. Kita and Oomimi were by far the calmest since they chose different rooms. Ojiro and Ginjima took some time because they kept on going into the rooms that were taken by the other members and Ginjima getting disappointed the longer the search goes. Suna and Kosaku were kinda calm until they chose the same room as well but didn’t resort to the bickering the twins do. Akiga and Riseka also took some time since they were the last pair to choose a room.

After that, the twins acquainted the team with some rules to follow which were just 6:30 pm was the time of dinner and 12:30 was the time of lunch, and breakfast was optional. Because they are athletes it is a must that they attend the dinner and lunch. They also have to tell the group chat if they were unable to eat and it needs to be a legitimate reason. And there is a schedule for every room so that the maids don’t die of exhaustion. They also had a debate on having a bedtime and if midnight snacks were allowed. They ended up resorting to not having one and midnight snacks are available.

________ 8:00 am

After all, that chaos was settled with you decided to go to your room where you get to explore it in even more detail. But then the exhaustion of taming the boys took over you as your body uncontrollably falls to the white circular bed and you soon drift off to Dream Land.

_________ 10:00 am

Your eyes finally flutter open as you check to see what time it was with the watch on your arm. You quickly fix your hair, face, and the bed as you take in your new surroundings. You take notice of the wooden floor. The table had essential oils and a diffuser right next to it and bright lights around the mirror for makeup. The television was actually inside the wall and the washroom had a little window which can be covered with curtains and more bright lights for the mirrors, there were wall hooks for hangers or things needed to be hanged. One of which was a hanger for the bathrobe the yacht provided. It was a rather spacious room, so spacious that you’d think that you were in a hotel rather than a yacht.

“It’s big mainly because it’s considered the master’s bedroom” You look back to the door, which was where the voice came from. The voice came from Osamu who was leaning at the door frame. Behind him was the rest of the team with a small smile on their faces.

“We’re going to hang out by the lower deck, cause Idio- I mean, ‘Tsumu-kun challenged me to a Jet Ski race, wanna watch? Kita is gonna start grilling the steak you brought” Osamu continues. You nod and say you’ll just change clothes. You change into a white tube bikini which is covered by a white see-through tassel and head to the lower deck which is already starting to smell like grilled steak.

You see the boys quietly yet not so discreetly check you out which makes you bring a little bit of heat on your face. You take a seat at the white couch you take notice of their outfits. The twins, Ginjima, Riseki, and Oomimi were shirtless with some swim trunks. Kita was also shirtless but is wearing an apron cause he’s grilling some meat. Kosaku, Ojiro, Akagi, and Suna were wearing white tank tops with some swimming trunks.

You also observed that there was something similar to what the boys were wearing, sunglasses. Suna has his sunglasses tucked on the collar of his shirt, Ojiro has his tucked on the right pocket of his shorts. Kosaku’s and Osamu’s were resting on their head Akiga and Oomimi were wearing a chain where the glasses were hanging on. Ginjima, Riseki, and Atsumu were wearing their glasses. Kita’s were hanging at the loop of his apron at the back.

“Rules: No flipping of Jet Skis. Don’t hit each other or the yacht. No insane tricks that will get you injured and have fun. If one of the drivers falls off the Jet Ski, instant game over” Ojiro states and the twins listen to what he has to say.

“Five rounds around the yacht. First to park their Jet Ski and get off from it wins” Ojiro smiles with his eyes closed as the twins shake hands as a sign of camaraderie.

Ojiro opens his eyes with a serious face as he says the catch, “Winner gets to throw water balloons at the loser.” The boys show a look of shock and confusion cause as far as they know, they don’t have water balloons.

“What are ye talking about? We don’t have—” Atsumu starts but is caught off by Ginjima

“Y/N-chan brought some water balloons, would be a shame if we don’t use it… Right?” The wing spiker taunts the boys. They turn to you and all you can do is smile while having a chat with Oomimi and a sleepy Suna. All of a sudden the twins’ expressions turned from shocked to competitive, the face you’d see when they have an official match at volleyball.

“Oh you’re on,” Atsumu says to which his twin just shrugs

“Scared you’ll get wet?” Osamu says while arching his right eyebrow.

The startling roar of the Jet Skis causes you to jump a bit while the other boys remain unfazed, Ojiro, standing at the edge of the yacht, raises his arm “Ready,” The twins look at each other and turn back to the sea.

“Set,” By this time, the siblings are playing with the controls to make the Jet Skis roar louder but they’re still in the same displacement on the water.

“Go” Ojiro puts down his arm and the two twins are on their way. Suna— whose is essentially lying down on the bean bag beside you— pokes your left arm resting on the sofa’s armrest.

“10 water balloons, Osamu-chan wins” You smirk at the bid, why not eh? Nothing wrong with a little splash.

“Fine, 10 water balloons, Atsumu-chan wins” Suna smirks at your statement and looks at the sea.

“Stuff like this makes me sleepy” Suna yawns and it causes you to giggle.

“You’re always sleepy, Suna-chan”

“It makes me sleepy and at ease” Suna smiles, happy he’s made you laugh every once in a while.

Kosaku though it would be nice if the lower deck had some music so he played “Party Poison” by My Chemical Romance as he and Riseki start filling up the water balloons

________ 10:30 am

The twins are back but Atsumu won by a millisecond. You laugh out in rejoice as you saw your next victim of the water balloons. You were so overjoyed that the attention was on you. “Suna-chan and Y/N-chan over here decided to make a bet on who wins. Our sibling won cause they placed their bet on Atsumu-chan” Riseki explains to the twins.

“Don’t place such a huge bet on me Suna-chan” Osamu sighs in defeat while Atsumu was busy making fun of his older twin that lost.

The two stand on the metal part of the lower deck and were the jet skis were parked. Riseki starts to throw one water balloons and others follow pursuit. Well, let’s just say you may or may not didn’t count how many water balloons you guys were throwing at the pair. And Ginjima may or may not have filmed the whole event happening including the start of the race.

_________ 11:00 am

After assisting the two boys on what they need to change clothes. You hang out in the entertainment room where everyone was playing a match of Mario Kart while waiting for Kita finish making lunch. You wasted no time into putting this on camera since this was pure gold.

“No! That’s cheating you- AAAAAAAAA”

“SHUT UP YOU SQUEALING PIG”

“YES! I GOT I- OJIRO-KUN”

“AHAHAHHAHAHAH DIE YOU SORRY EXCUSES OF LOSERS”

_________ 12:30 pm

Lunch was served, it was steak with mashed potatoes and mango panna cotta for dessert. Although we ate in peace, there was still tension as to playing that last Mario Kart match. Kita, oblivious to the chaos a while ago, has zero idea to what even happened but feels a strong tension.

“Alright, what’s bothering you kids?”

“I swore you cheated on that last match” Riseki looks dead straight at Akagi who was happily enjoying his medium-rare steak. Cue Kita rubbing his forehead and being the epitome of ‘Ah shit, here we go again’

“I will not deny or accept that” You were informed by their coach about the rowdiness and loudness this group has but these boys always seem to have something to bicker about.

“I DONATED YOU A DAMN LIFE PACK IN LEFT FOR DEAD 2 AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?”

“We live in a capitalist world, my dear child,” Akagi smirks, knowing it’s gonna fume his kohai to the roof. ________ 1:30 pm

Yes, it took you an hour to calm down the two well, mostly Riseki who felt offended by the actions of his senpai. After so, you decided to have time for yourself at the sauna. You grab your wardrobe and your new clothes which were plain red sweatshirt and some cycling shorts and walk towards the said room. You go to the changing rooms which had a little locker aisle so that you can put your things in.

You take off the tassel that you were wearing and toss on the bathrobe. It was a little big for you but it will do. You head to the sauna in which you spent your time enjoying. It was a place that showed the scenery outside and therefore you get to marvel at the beauty of the islands at the same time it was playing calm piano music.

You took this time to look at the videos Ginjima sent you and your compilation of videos and photos to decide what to post exactly.

You ended up posting that stolen solo picks of the boys while they were busy doing things. Yes, you have a stolen photo of Suna that is a w a k e. You also post a picture of yourself with your back facing the camera and your arms spread out. The last photo you posted was a group photo with you and the boys taken in the dining room before the incident happened.

The boys, on the other hand, were putting the appreciation gifts they had brought for you to your room. Arranging it in the most aesthetic way they could on your bed. They tried not to make any noise as you can hear their footsteps due to the wooden floor. They quickly made their way to the viewing deck to inflate the slide to make an alibi to be there.

________ 4:30 pm

You head to the viewing deck wearing you a sweatshirt and cycling shorts only to know that the boys were sliding down the inflatable slide. Oomimi sees you and carries you bridal style to be next in line. You panic as to knowing your outfit.

“You guys, I’m not really—,” you start as Oomimi sets you down on the slide. Atsumu laughs at your response.

“Well, sorry, love~” was all the setter said till his members pushed you off the slide. It felt like going down from the highest point of the ride of the rollercoaster. You screamed your whole lungs out and you swore you died till you felt nothing beneath you. You were flying in the air for what seemed like a century till you were engulfed with water. Its comfort in surrounding you made you feel safe but you had to go to the surface. When you did you were smiling but then at the same time you felt as if you were betrayed by your siblings over there on the yacht as they were laughing their asses off. Suna who was stirring at that time, was also chuckling to himself after hearing your screams of death seconds ago.

The ones in the water, Kita and Ginjima helped you go to the yacht as they knew you were gonna murder the boys. The moment you climbed back on the boat. The maids handed you a towel to which you used to whip at the boys for revenge making them die of even more laughter from you.

________ 6:30 pm

You were still damp and a towel was hanging on both of your shoulders when your dinner is served and it was grilled lamb with some fried rice and crème brûlée as dessert. This was the time the boys noticed that you posted something on social media and gave out their comments of appreciation especially to your photo. They took into detail their photos and realized that they were stolen. This was the perfect opportunity for you to post the uhhh… not so good looking photos of them. But you were worried about the number of unpleasing photos they had of you so you decided to go against the idea. And luckily there was no world war happening since you already forgave them for their little stunt a while ago and they did have fun.

_________ 7:45 pm

You head back to your room to wash and get changed for the karaoke night the boys proposed. You open the door to see the wide arrange of gifts the boys had prepared just for you. You start to tear up from the effort the boys pulled just to show you their gratitude towards you. You took a picture and sent it to both the group chat and social media as a thank you post. A mess of a team they were, they were your mess and you loved every moment you had with them.

[dreams-of-a-lark]

(Lark and Elias’s first and last photos together)

TASK 1: THE LAST DAY

January 11, 2016 7:00 AM, EST 12:00 PM, GMT

“Lark, you know I love you—”

“Boring.”

“Mmm fair. It’s fine, I have others. How about this one? Lark, you mean more to me than—” 

“Erh! Nope. Try again.”

“Oh, come on, you barely let me start!”

“Boo hoo… I knew where you were going with it. Got anything else?”

“Just one more, I was saving this one for last. It’s the best one I have, so will you let me actually get going before you stop me this time?” 

“Maybe. Compel me and we’ll see. I want to see you dig into the deep recesses of your soul, pull out your raw, still-beating heart and lay it bare. Otherwise, what am I even here for?”

“You’re unbelievable. But fine… Ahem...” Elias closed his eyes and let out a deep, shuttered sigh, “Lark. Before I met you, I had lost almost all faith in humanity. I found it impossible to believe that anyone acted with genuinely good intentions. I was bitter, cynical, lonely… and then, just as I was on the precipice of giving up on people entirely, there you were. Right on time. This pure light, banishing all my shadows. You are everything I was once sure didn’t exist in reality, but also the most real thing I’ve ever encountered.

The sheer amount of love you have to give blows me away. Love isn’t something you keep a reserve of only for certain special people. For you, love permeates the air around you everywhere you go and anyone lucky enough to meet you or know you gets to breathe it freely. Lark, you are so good, with no expectations or conditions attached to it, but just because it’s your nature. You make me want to be better everyday now, whereas before… I was just working on the motivation to be, period point blank. 

I have had the unfathomable privilege to breathe your love everyday for the past eight years and I hope you’ve felt even a fraction of what you’ve given me reflected back to you. Because, Lark, I love you more than I have the words to say. I love you with every last bit of life in me and I want to love you and feel your love for just that long, until the very last bit of life leaves me and I’m returned to the earth. I don’t know where I’ll be in the next five, ten, fifty years, all I know is I want to be wherever you are. So, Lark Dorian Crain, will you marry me?”

A silence hung in the air accompanied only by a faint mechanical whirring and the low buzz of an LCD screen. Katie finally broke it, her voice glitching and tinny through Elias’s small laptop speakers, “Better.” She said simply.

“Seriously? That’s it?” Elias replied, his voice laden with shock and disappointment.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful, definitely a solid start. I almost teared up a few times. But, as all first drafts go, it could use some improvement.”

“It’s not my first draft, though…”

“Eh, feels like a first draft, love.”

“You know, sometimes it’s almost impossible to believe you’re related to Lark, let alone twins?”

“To be fair, do you know anyone in our family that’s really like Lark?”

“Eleanor.”

“Not related to us, stupid.”

“Mmm.. true. Ugh! Katydid... What do I Katy-do?”

“Well, for starters, you could never do whatever that just was again. Secondly, stop worrying about it, seriously. Knowing Lark, you could throw the ring across the deck and say, ‘go fetch if you wanna marry me’ and he’ll be running for it in an instant.”

Elias rolled his eyes, but smiled fondly at the thought of Lark bounding eagerly around the ship. It filled his heart whenever he thought of Lark’s joy, to think he had the power to bring so much of it to the surface baffled him endlessly.

“I’m so nervous,” he admitted.

“You don’t need to be,” Katie reassured him, “All jokes aside, it’s beautiful, and Lark loves you so much. You may not have moved me to tears, but you’ll definitely move him to tears. And then he’s going to blush like a damned schoolgirl and say yes a million times, like the sappy romantic he is.”

“You think so?”

“If he doesn’t, call an exorcist immediately, because that’s not Lark.”

Elias scoffed, but this was comforting encouragement to hear. Nothing he didn’t secretly already know, but it didn’t hurt to be reminded when he was feeling self-conscious. He breathed in deeply, filling up his cheeks with air, then puffing it back out through the small ‘o’ his mouth formed. 

“You’re right, I know.”

“I know you know. Listen, I’ve got to get back to work, love. I can call you when I get off, if you want, but you really should just enjoy your time with him today. Just act like it’s any other day... on a fancy cruise ship with the love of your life. Right?” 

Elias nodded, “Right. No need to call me back, you’re right. I’m just going to enjoy the day with him. Have a good day at work, I’m sure we’ll both call you after it happens.”

“I’ll be sure to hold the phone far away from my ear, so you all can squeal without busting my eardrums. Bye for now, then.”

“Alright. Bye Katie.”

The call ended and Elias closed his computer and looked out over the beautiful expanse of ocean surrounding the ship. Lark was still asleep in their cabin and probably would be for another couple of hours or so, it was nearly impossible to wake him anytime before 9 am. So Elias decided to stay for a while, taking in the peacefulness of the empty deck while the majority of the ship’s passengers slept, rocked by the lullaby of gentle waves.

January 11, 2016 9:00 AM, EST

Elias crept silently back into their cabin to find Lark sleeping fitfully, brows furrowed, eyelids knit tight. This was normally fairly unusual, but lately he’d been experiencing an uptick of nightmares that he didn’t like telling Elias much about for some reason. Elias eased down onto the edge of the bed and carefully lowered a hand down toward his forehead, fingers grazing across, pushing aside a stray curl. Almost instantaneously, Lark’s expression softened at his touch. It was moments like this that reminded him just how strong their connection was, the small gestures that could soothe one another’s most turbulent emotions.

He leaned down and pressed a light kiss on Lark’s cheek at which his eyes fluttered open, gazing weary oceans up at him. A soft smile, wrapt in security accompanied the gaze and Elias felt a pang in his chest as his heart skipped in response. “Morning, sleepyhead,” he sang softly to him.

Lark hummed and curled around where he sat, “Mmmmm… no.”

“No? What do you mean, no?”

“Not morning,” Lark muttered.

“It is, though.”

Lark shook his head, “No,” he mumbled, sleepiness still heavy in his voice, “still nighttime.”

“Oh is it now?” Elias asked, to which Lark nodded. Then, before he had a chance to react, he felt long arms wrap around him and pull him down and over into the bed, “Ah! Lark!” He laughed, “What’s this?”

“We sleep now,” Lark cooed, clearly very pleased with the results as he held Elias close. 

Elias let out another gentle laugh and turned to face the larger man, pressing his forehead to the other’s and cupping his face in his hands. “I love you,” he whispered.

Eyes closed, Lark gave a delighted smile. “Mhmmm,” he hummed in response, raising a hand to Elias’s eyelids in an attempt to shut them, “we sleep now.”

“Okay,” Elias giggled, “we sleep now, just a little longer.”

January 11, 2016 1:20 pm, EST

Elias woke to find Lark gone. Where was he? He rolled to sit up in the bed and checked his phone. 1:20 pm. Of course it was. With a stretch and a hearty yawn, he began to work on getting to his feet and looked around. The room was empty, the shower wasn’t going either, then he saw a shadow through the blinds leading out onto the small balcony of their room.

He opened the blinds to find Lark sitting in a wicker chair, sipping tea, gazing out over the water in placid solitude. There was a bottle of champagne and a pitcher of orange juice sitting on the table next to him, along with two champagne flutes and a bouquet of roses resting in a faceted crystal vase. Elias smiled to himself and slid open the glass door onto the balcony, coming up behind Lark who turned his head slightly towards him. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Lark said, seemingly completely unaware of the irony.

“It’s nearly 1:30.”

The other shrugged, “Morning is a state of mind.”

“Okay,” Elias laughed, draping his arms around Lark’s shoulders, and kissing the top of his head, “what’s all this?” He pointed at the set up on the table, to which Lark rose from his seat, came around to hug him tight, and laid a tender kiss on his lips. 

He smiled, then turned to pour two mimosas, “Happy Anniversary,” he said, holding out a glass to Elias. 

They clinked glasses and sat on the balcony, sipping their drinks, enjoying that serene silence they could only take true comfort in with one another. Every once in a while Elias would glance over at Lark’s satisfied face, the view of the ocean sparkling in his bright eyes. It didn’t matter where they were, Elias knew, but this was perfect. He wondered if he shouldn’t just pop the question right now, but the ring stayed in his pocket, waiting for a moment more perfect than this one. 

January 11, 2016 5:30 pm, EST

Elias hopped and shimmied as he pulled on his slim fit black slacks and tucked his stark white button up into them. He sifted through his bag and spread out the various necktie options he’d brought with him — plain black, floral, black and blue stripes, matte and satin striped maroon, black bowtie with subtle gold stars. A muffled sound of happy singing came from beneath the hiss of the running shower in the background. Elias looked back toward the bathroom and smiled, then turned to eye the bowtie lying on the bed. He was no good at tying bowties, Lark would have to help him, which made it the obvious choice in accessory. 

“Lark! Hurry up, our reservation’s at 6:00.” 

The singing stopped, “What’s that?” Lark called from the bathroom.

“I said... move your butt!” he called back.

“It’s always moving, love!”

“You know what I mean.” 

“Alright, alright, I’ll be out in a minute.” 

The shower went on for a little longer, then the hissing became a light trickle and, soon enough, a thick fog of steam rolled out of the bathroom door, orange light dissipated through the clouds. Lark strolled out, towel tied around his waist, drops of water hanging from the ends of his hair and glistening on his shoulders. He eyed Elias with the untied tie around his neck. A pleased laugh escaped his lips as he inched toward Elias and tugged at the ends of the bowtie, pulling him in for a kiss.

“Did you pick this tie just so I’d help you with it?” Lark asked.

Elias shrugged, “Maybe I did, you don’t know me.”

“No, of course I don’t.” Lark smirked and gently traced the side of Elias’s face with his fingertips, taking a moment to savor the sight of him. Eight years in and seeing Lark look at him like this still made Elias’s heart race.

“We have to get a move on,” Elias muttered, breathlessly. 

Lark cleared his throat, coming back to earth, and brought his hand back down to the tie. “Right,” he said matter-of-factly, then started on the tie. He worked the ends over and under, focus woven into his furrowed brow. Elias glanced down to watch his hands move then glanced back up at him. “There,” Lark fluffed the bowtie proudly when he had finished and met Elias’s gaze again.  

“I love you.” Elias reminded him for the millionth time and pulled him down to meet his lips, running his hands through Lark’s wet hair. 

Lark responded in kind, wrapping his long wingspan tight around Elias’s waist, “I love you too,” he whispered into Elias’s lips.

“I know,” Elias said and patted Lark’s chest as they pulled apart, “Now get dressed, we have like fifteen minutes.”

January 11, 2016 8:00 pm, EST

Elias and Lark walked hand in hand across the top deck of the ship, stomachs full, hearts warm, and heads perhaps a bit too light from a day full of champagne. Above them hung a cloudless, black blanket of sky encrusted with brightly shimmering, diamond stars and the thin sliver of a waxing crescent moon. Not far from them, a band played a harmonious violin cover of “You Are The Reason” with soft percussion accentuating the background. 

Lark pulled away, still holding onto Elias’s hand at arm's length, “Dance with me?” he asked.

Elias looked around the deck at the other families and couples enjoying the night around them, “There’s so many other people.” 

“So what?”

“They might be watching us.”

“Then we’d better put on a good show for them, don’t you think?” Lark smiled, pulling him back in and holding him close. 

Elias sighed, but a blush pulled the corners of his mouth into a coy smile. He wrapped his arms around Lark’s neck and leaned into him as they spun around the deck. Holding each other like this felt equal parts due to the desire to be close to one another and the necessity to help one another remain standing. The more they danced the more the effects of the day’s drinks took their toll and it wasn’t long until they had to slow to a stop. 

“Getting a little dizzy?” Elias laughed.

“Just a little,” Lark agreed. Then his face got serious and he pulled Elias with him towards the railing of the ship to look out over the water, shimmering under the stars. 

“I don’t want this night to end,” he said as they walked.

“Neither do I…” a pause settled between them. 

“Lark—” / “Elias—” They both spoke the other’s names in unison, followed by another unison, “sorry.” Then Elias spoke alone, “You go first.”

“Oh, uh,” Lark began, thrusting his hands into his pockets. He seemed to be fidgety all of a sudden, “Well, Elias… I know you know how much I love you, but I just wanted to say… before I met you…” Was this going where Elias thought? Had they really had the same idea at the same time? Well, he’d be damned if Lark was going to upstage his proposal. He gave a knowing smirk and stepped forward towards the other, “Lark…” but suddenly… time seemed to slow.

January 11, 2016 8:15:28 pm, EST

“… sorry.” Lark squinted and shook his head slightly, slow blinking.

January 11, 2016 8:15:30 pm, EST

Lark’s knee gave out on him and he stumbled back a bit.

January 11, 2016 8:15:32 pm, EST

Elias noticed the railing behind him fell just below Lark’s hip level. His eyes widened and he reached out to him.

January 11, 2016 8:15:33 pm, EST

The railing of the ship caught the back of Lark’s thigh.

January 11, 2016 8:15:34 pm, EST

“LARK!” 

January 11, 2016 1:15:28 - 1:15:34 am, GMT

Katie slept fitfully, alone in her small, twin bed, nestled in her small, one bedroom, Hampstead flat. In her dream, a flock of seagulls surrounded a small brown bird with a yellow face, a white underside, and black accent marks across it’s chest, under its eyes and in the tufts that sat upon its head. The small bird desperately flapped its wings to stay in the air, but the gulls, ten times its size, flapped their wings with all the more force down upon it.

January 11, 2016 8:15:35 pm, EST

Lark flipped over the railing, tumbling down towards the frigid waters below. A small crowd on the deck gasped as they bore witness. Elias ran to the railing and climbed readying himself to jump in after, but, just as he was about to take the leap a couple bystanders stopped him. 

January 11, 2016 1:15:35 am, GMT

Katie sprung up in her bed and screamed, cold sweat running down her face. An indescribable feeling of unbearable loss hit her core and ricocheted through her body.

January 11, 2016 8:15:36 pm, EST

The two bystanders held Elias tight, while others ran to find crew members that could help. “NO!” Elias screamed, “LET GO OF ME! LARK!” His body, completely sober now, shook with shock and tears cascaded from his eyes. “LET GO OF ME, GODDAMMIT!” He struggled against the ones holding him, finally breaking free and running back to the railing. His eyes scanned the water, desperately searching for signs of Lark, but couldn’t make out even the slightest shadow of a body. “LARK!” He called out. “LARK!” His knees buckled and he collapsed against the railing. “HELP HIM! SOMEBODY! Do something!” His forehead pressed hard against the bars, as his voice gave out, cracking a helpless, “please…” the bustle of crew members rushing to help Lark echoed from lower decks.

“Please… Lark… help him… somebody… bring him back…” It was impossible to see through the blinding film of tears rippling across his eyes, “please… I can’t… please don’t let him be gone… I can’t… I can’t… please… I can’t… somebody… Lark… I love you… please… I can’t.” 

January 11, 2016 1:15:36 am, GMT

On the other side of the world, Katie sat alone in her bed and heaved untamable sobs for reasons wholly unknown, save for the fact that it felt like something had reached into the deep recesses of her soul and snapped her still-beating heart in half, leaving the memory of it lingering like a phantom limb. 

January 11, 2016 1:30 am, GMT

A high tinnitus whine made its home in her ears, as she tried to process what she was feeling. Then the phone rang.

[artificialqueens]

Everybody Knows You're High, 2/4 (Rajila) - Dartmouth420

“And on the deck while I waited for her to get dressed, I sparked up another one and I was such a mess that I confess that my professor wouldn’t look me in the eye…”

Summary: Raja has a great time at her philosophy class this week, Manila strategically turns the whole situation into a joke, but their attempts to one-up each other go a little too far…

A/N: this chapter is dedicated to the term ‘making out,’ and how vague and ridiculous it is lmao. thank you V&albatross for the shoutout!

tw: weed

Raja forgot that it was a Tuesday and smoked a huge blunt just after noon, before remembering that she had to leave for class in fifteen minutes. Uh oh.

But luckily Professor A. O’Hara’s philosophy class was a lecture and that meant Raja didn’t need to participate, she could just sit in the low-lit room, stare at the slides and let the words wash over her. Which was totally doable while high. Also, Manila was in that class, so Raja didn’t want to skip it.

Pleasantly hazy, Raja threw an open button-up shirt over her tank top, wandered over to Manila’s house a few doors down and knocked on the door.

Manila answered, her face pink and sweaty, her fantastic legs clad in neon green leggings.

“I just got back from the gym,” said Manila, “I still need to change, just give me a sec-“

“Sure,” said Raja, leaning casually against the porch railing. Manila looked pretty cute, all warm and sweaty like that. Raja reached into her front pocket and found a tiny little joint she must have forgotten in there the last time she’d worn this shirt.

Well, she was already high, so why the hell not? Raja sighed happily, thanking whatever deities had decided to smile upon her today as she fished her lighter out of her shorts, and lit up.

Manila came back out a few minutes later, in a neat little corduroy skirt that hugged her hips, shirt tucked in, and said, “Oh my god, are you getting high right now?”

“Yeah,” replied Raja, happy and content, “I forgot it was Tuesday and started earlier, figured I may as well lean in, right?”

Manila rolled her eyes and shook her head, then locked the door.

They walked together to campus in the warm sun, and Raja began to feel soft, even a little loopy, like she needed to slow down…

“Hurry up, we’re going to be late,” urged Manila, walking ahead of her.

“Nah, just slow down a bit,” murmured Raja in response. The sun was catching in Manila’s hair again, the black curls shining with an almost reddish-orange highlight.

“Are you related to any gingers?” asked Raja, blithely.

“Uh, my uncle on my mom’s side,” replied Manila, “And so is one of my cousins. Why?”

“Your hair has this kinda red highlight in the sun…”

Manila laughed and it was a happy sound that Raja quite liked. But then Manila went behind Raja and pushed her, her hands on Raja’s back as she hustled her rapidly down the sidewalk, which Raja liked a little less. They finally got into the building and managed to make it to class with only seconds to spare.

Raja entered the dark room, supremely comfortable and chill, and took her usual seat. Manila sat next to her, taking out her neat little notebook and pen to take notes. She was so organized, Raja admired that about her.

Professor O’Hara greeted the class and hit the lights to begin the lecture. Raja smiled and nodded and basked in the weird glow of the PowerPoint while Manila diligently took notes next to her. The words washed over them both.

After the lecture was done and the lights turned back on, Professor O’Hara took questions from the class. Raja found she had a question too, and raised her hand.

“Don’t draw attention to yourself-“ hissed Manila next to her, trying to grab Raja’s hand and force it back down.

But Professor O’Hara has already addressed her, so Raja batted Manila off and opened her mouth.

“Uh, so…” began Raja, leaning forward and putting her chin in her hand, pausing for what she was sure was only a couple seconds. An amused murmur rippled through the crowd. “So, when Plato talks about you know, duality, what if-“

Raja wasn’t sure where she was going with her question, but she was confident it was going somewhere, and kept talking. Professor O’Hara had an amused expression on her face, and pressed her lips together, not quite making eye contact. Next to Raja, Manila slid lower in her seat and shielded her eyes with her hand.

“…so like, isn’t that connected to Aristotle’s original idea about being?” finished Raja.

Muffled laughter sounded throughout the class. What was so funny?

Professor O’Hara blinked, and cocked her head to the side, then said, “Well, to everyone’s surprise that’s actually an excellent question, Raja-“ and proceeded to answer it.

Raja glowed with the praise, nodding her head slowly as Professor O’Hara answered her question, and further elaborated on the content of the lecture, which inspired more questions from the class. Raja remained pleasantly blazed. Coming to class like this had been a great idea after all-

Soon enough it was over, and Raja yawned, sleepy, and stretched as Manila put her things back in her bag.

“Raja,” said Manila with resignation, hoisting her backpack to her shoulder, while the rest of the class filed out around them, throwing amused glances in Raja’s direction, “Everybody knows you’re high.”

“Mmm…” replied Raja, content, getting up from her seat and tripping a little on the edge of the chair, “Yeah, this time I don’t care.”

-

The problem with Raja, considered Manila as they walked back down the street together after class and Raja prattled away, happy and stoned, was that from the day they’d met Manila wanted throw her against the wall, furiously make out with her, have insanely hot sex in every imaginable way, move in together, start their lives, be completely and utterly in love, have like four kids and three dogs, raise them, retire, get old, and die together. 

Obviously that was a little much. 

Manila had quickly learned that her desperate fantasy seemed to be the exact opposite of what Raja was looking for. Raja’s priorities seemed to consist of getting stoned, getting laid, playing video games and going to class. Apparently in that order. So, they became good friends instead, along with Delta and Carmen, and had an excellent friendship that involved terrible humour, petty competition, and affectionately roasting one another to death. Given that Raja had never shown any romantic interest in her, Manila did her best to shove her feelings to the back of her mind. She wasn’t going to ruin a great friendship with her idiotic feelings, god forbid!

So, not that Raja randomly asking her to make out the other day had thrown Manila’s world off its axis anything, just… ugh.

They kept walking, and Raja kept talking to herself. Admittedly, she was making some great points about Plato.

“Carmen’s kinda mad at you, by the way,” said Raja, turning to her. Her deep brown eyes were a little bloodshot, but still shockingly intense and beautiful.

“Why?” asked Manila, glancing at the blue, open sky instead. It was a lovely day.

“‘Cause you unlocked metallic Peach the other day. She wanted to unlock metallic Peach.”

“Tell her the day she beats me at literally one round of Smash Bros is the day I’ll stop unlocking stuff for her,” said Manila.

“This is just as bad as the Mario Kart Incident last April,” said Raja, who was still looking at her, and then added, in an apparent non-sequitur, “Hey, has anyone ever told you you’re like really pretty?”

“Yeah, my mom,” replied Manila sarcastically, but her heart beat a little faster with the compliment.

“No, come on!” replied Raja, with a blissed-out expression and a goofy smile, “You are, though. Your hair is like so nice-“

Manila didn’t know what to say. Getting this kind of attention from Raja wasn’t something she’d anticipated happening, it was making her feel vulnerable and a little turned on, and she wanted to believe that it meant something… but doubt congealed in her stomach. It didn’t mean anything beyond a casual, well-intentioned, platonic expression of attraction. This was just how Raja was.

“Shut up!” laughed Manila semi-hysterically, impulsively pushing Raja in response. Raja was stoned and off-balance enough that she tripped and fell into the neighbour’s garden with an indignant squawk. Manila felt bad for a split second, then laughed out loud.

“Hey!” protested Raja, picking herself up from the enormous hosta plant she’d fallen into, her long black hair in her face, “I thought you liked me!”

“I do like you, you don’t need to worry about that!” said Manila over her shoulder, maintaining a joking attitude and walking up the steps to her house.

“You’re the worst,” whined Raja, making a face, then flipping her off in a friendly goodbye. Manila returned the gesture.

Manila went inside and got a snack from the kitchen, said hi to her roommate Shangela who’d just gotten out of the shower, and went into her room. Manila dropped her backpack to the ground and flopped down on her bed. 

It was simple: Raja was blazed as usual and messing with her, that was all. But if there was anything Manila was good at, it was messing with people in return.

-

Raja wasn’t used to being rejected. She was, after all, very cool, extremely sexy, highly intelligent and always had weed. Clearly a catch! But apparently not to Manila. Raja knew Manila liked her, Manila had specifically said so the other day! They were already friends, they understood each other’s humour, and they hung out regularly, which was half the battle when it came to getting involved with somebody, even casually.

So, at Morgan’s Hallowe’en party, Raja found herself on the enormous, crumby couch, passing a blunt back and forth with Manila and several others. Some mid-2000s hip hop music played in the background, and way too many people were packed into the space in ridiculous costumes. Manila was pressed in next to her on the crowded couch. Earlier Raja had noted Raven somewhere at the other end of the house, pointedly ignoring her, which was ideal.

Manila somehow managed to look incredibly cute while dressed as Weird Al Yankovic, fake moustache and all, which was a feat in and of itself. Raja was dressed as Raoul Duke from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, because she related to him on a spiritual level, and already had the sunglasses for it. Their dumb costumes even matched, both featuring ugly Hawaiian shirts. Manila was cracking a joke with Carmen on her other side, and Raja figured this was as good an opportunity as any. Raja slung a casual arm around Manila, passed the blunt back to her and whispered in her ear, “Do you wanna make out?”

Manila put the blunt to her lips and inhaled deeply, the end glowing orange as Raja waited with anticipation for her answer, excitement mounting in her stomach.

With a smirk, Manila blew a lungful of smoke into Raja’s face, then she rested her hand on Raja’s thigh, and leaned in. Raja’s heartbeat accelerated.

Manila shut her eyes and Raja shut hers too, barely able to believe it was happening. Manila’s lips brushed against hers, soft, thrilling, just the barest hint of contact-

Manila pulled back abruptly, and Raja opened her eyes, confused. 

Manila gave her an absolutely shit-eating grin and declared, “Nope!”

Raja’s jaw, along with her mood, dropped with disappointment. An odd moment passed between them. Through her haze Raja realized, with Manila’s shit-eating grin and her hand on still suggestively on her thigh, that Manila was mocking her. Raja, totally stoned, asking her to make out with for a second time with the exact same line had inevitably, painfully, become a joke. 

Raja huffed, insulted, and turned away. Manila cackled.

On Raja’s other side someone new sat down, a pretty, athletic and tanned girl with dirty blonde hair, her amazing body in clad in what was basically red lingerie and devil horns. Raja recognized her, she was that girl a year or two below them who went running with Manila sometimes. She was laughing, her head thrown back, at something another blonde beside her was saying.

Raja tapped her on the shoulder and said, “Hey, you’re cute, do you wanna make out?”

The girl blinked at her in shock, and then grinned, and said, “Uh, oh my god, yeah.”

“Great.”

“Damn, you’re so direct, I’ve had a crush on you like forev-”

Raja ignored her, took her face in her hands and leaned in. Their lips met and the girl let out an excited gasp. She tasted like Jack Daniels and smelled like tropical perfume. Nice. And she was a great kisser, with an enthusiastic and knowing tongue. The girl’s warm hands immediately went to Raja’s shoulders. Around them a few people oohed and laughed, and Raja caressed the girl’s lower back and practically pulled her into her lap. Raja’s bucket hat fell off the back of her head.

Manila was still laughing at something on Raja’s other side, but her laughter stopped abruptly, and Raja felt the couch shift as Manila stood up. Raja broke the kiss for a moment and glanced over her shoulder in time to see Manila stomp away, furious jealousy in every line of her body, throwing her fake glasses to the floor.

That’s right, burn.

Smug, Raja went back to making out with the blonde chick in her lap, their hands wandering all over each other until someone yelled at them to get a room. May as well. Raja got up and led the girl into Morgan’s messy bedroom and shut the door.

“You know you’re like a legend around here, right?” chuckled the blonde girl, grasping the edge of Raja’s shirt and pulling her down onto the bed with her, “By the way, my name’s Willam-”

“That’s nice,” replied Raja, crawling on top of her, kissing her neck and getting down to business.

-

It became an inside joke.

Manila had barely managed to pull it off, because coming so close to kissing Raja had been horribly thrilling, (electric, overwhelming, transcendent), and she’d wanted so badly for it to be real, to be anything other than just a stoned-and-low-key-horny suggestion on Raja’s part-

So, despite Manila’s burst of jealousy over Raja’s makeout session at the Hallowe’en party with Willam, her gym buddy of all people, their friendship remained strong and uninterrupted. Manila didn’t hold it against Willam either, who’d been all too happy to talk about it at their next cardio and gossip session, because Raja was generally irresistible. Manila sure as hell wasn’t going to let it get to her. After all, this kind of thing was in the nature of a friendship that largely consisted of roasting each other to death over a high-octane flame.

As the week passed the joke got even funnier. Raja got over sulking about it, and started purposefully asking Manila to make out at the most hilarious, awkward, and inopportune times.

For example:

Playing Smash Bros at Raja’s house late on a Saturday night with Delta and Carmen, everybody squashed on the couch: “Can we make out if I win?” “As if you’d ever beat me, bitch.” “It’s true Raja, you kind of suck at Nintendo-” “Shut up!”

Hollered across the quad, much to Manila’s embarrassment and Raja’s enjoyment, in front of a crowd of freshman, “Hey Manila, you wanna come over here and make out!?” “Go shove your tongue down somebody else’s throat!” “Aw, rude!”

In the hallway after class, just as Professor O’Hara walked by, loudly: “Wanna come back to my place and make out?” “Oh my god, Raja!” “Ladies.” “Sorry, professor!”

Whispered in the library, “Do you wanna go into the stacks and make out?” “Write your essay.” “I’m done, though-“ “What, already!?”

Even Delta and Carmen got in on it, and Manila had to dodge the question from them too. Teasing, sexy requests of, Hey, wanna make out, Manila? followed her around, as Manila clapped back hilarious retorts to gales of laughter. It was fun and Manila rode the wave of attention with aplomb.

Manila figured that this particular’s joke’s shelf life would only last as long as any other and would soon fade into oblivion, replaced by whatever came next, and Manila would never have to address or bring to light her feelings for Raja.

In her opinion, she’d handled the situation perfectly. And Manila praised herself for it as she ran her usual route, glancing up at Raja’s house as she ran by.

But every night before she fell asleep, a little voice tugged at the back of her brain and said, maybe you shouldn’t mock people when they express attraction to you, that’s kind of fucked up, and she’s your friend, maybe she actually does like you back- Manila aggressively quashed it.

-

“Hey, so,” said Raja, on the way to the library with Manila to buckle down and write their philosophy papers together as the end of term approached, “Why don’t you want to make out with me? Like, I’m a total catch.”

It hadn’t previously occurred to her to ask, but maybe this would help her get a leg up on the situation. Ideally Manila’s leg. Ideally up on her shoulder while Raja ate her out, and Manila blushed pink like she sometimes did, and tangled her hands in Raja’s hair, and gasped and arched her back and- that was neither here nor there. As hilarious as it was, the joke had been driving Raja a little insane. If Manila had said, in any seriousness, that she wanted Raja to stop asking, Raja would have. But she hadn’t, Manila had leaned in to the silly, flirtatious back and forth. 

Instead of forgetting about it, the endless teasing and parody of the matter had only reinforced what Raja wanted in the first place.

“Well,” said Manila after a pause, adjusting her heavy bag and glancing at the cloudy sky, “You don’t take school very seriously.”

“What?” laughed Raja, who’d been expecting something more along the lines of I’m genuinely not attracted to you or I think I want to date guys again, “Is that really it? I totally do!”

“No you don’t, you’re a huge stoner.”

“Yeah but thats just for fun, I’m like really smart,” replied Raja, grinning, “You should see my GPA.”

“Mmm no, you’re real dumb,” sassed Manila. She shook her head and her curly hair, up in a high ponytail again today, bounced with the motion and Raja wanted to run her fingers through it. “You’re a total goofball and everyone knows it. You show up to class high! I have like a 3.82, and I want to keep it there.”

“How would making out with me affect your grades?”

“They say you are what you eat…”

They both exploded into laughter, causing the other students walking down the busy campus path to throw irritated glances their way.

“Bitch,” replied Raja, elbowing her, “A 3.82 is nothing-”

“Hey, no,” protested Manila, stopping and turning to her, “It’s like really good, don’t talk down my accomplishments just because you’re jealous-“

“I have a 3.91.”

Manila opened and shut her mouth in shock, before responding, “No you don’t, you’re lying.”

“No I’m not.”

“Prove it.”

“Sure,” chuckled Raja, taking out her phone and going to the school website, launching the grading centre, pulling up her current transcript and grade point average, “Look.”

Raja handed Manila her phone, gloating. The screen read 3.91847. Manila took it and her eyes narrowed, and she scrolled up to check that it was actually Raja’s name at the top, then back down again. 

“Guess I do take school seriously,” taunted Raja, unable to suppress the urge to tease her.

With unexpected force, Manila shoved the phone back into Raja’s hands.

“Whatever!” snapped Manila, rushing ahead furiously.

“Hey, where are you going?” called Raja after her, laughing, “Don’t be mad just ‘cause I get better grades than you-“

“I’ll see you at the library!” snarled Manila over her shoulder, power walking down the street.

Raja watched Manila walk away, pleased that she’d proven her wrong her but confused as to why she was so mad. Raja wandered into the little smoking area with a couple of scraggly trees and fished in her bag for a tiny joint she’d hidden there earlier. She found it and lit up, inhaling the comforting smoke. Just a little something to help get those creative and intellectual juices flowing…

-

After a few hours of work in the library while Raja pumped dreamwave tunes through her headphones directly into her skull and wrote her philosophy paper, she looked up and noticed Manila sighing deeply for like the fourth time.

“What’s up?” whispered Raja, taking her headphones off.

“Nothing,” whispered Manila back. Her eyebrows were scrunched together.

“Are you mad at me?”

“No.”

“Fine.”

Raja put her headphones back on, without music, and wrote a few more sentences, pausing to check her references. She was going to get a hundred percent on this paper, she already knew it. Raja had been a bit of a child prodigy in terms of reading and writing comprehension, and her memory, her research skills, her grasp of history, literature, sociology and philosophy were outstanding. Her two dads were loving and supportive hippies who let her do whatever she wanted, so her sense of freedom and confidence had soared throughout her college career along with her grades.

“I can’t believe you have a higher GPA than me,” complained Manila, under her breath.

Raja took her headphones off again and gloated, “Yep, this huge stoner right here is better at school than you.”

Manila glared at her, then sighed again. Raja smirked, but her face fell, because Manila actually looked sad. And tired. There were lines under her eyes. Sympathy tugged at Raja’s stomach. 

“Well, a 3.82 is really good,” began Raja, shutting her laptop and leaning forward, “Like, it’s above average-”

“Don’t be patronizing,” said Manila, shaking her head, closing her laptop and gathering up her books, “I can’t work on this anymore, let’s head out.”

“Okay, sure,” said Raja, getting up. A few people at other tables were glaring at them anyway, angry about the interruption of the silence. Raja wanted to make Manila feel better, and wondered how.

They left the library, walking together through the dark evening in the direction of home. It was a clear night, and the stars were just visible. Raja dug around in her bag for a joint but couldn’t find one.

“I have that good spicy instant ramen and Cheetos at home,” suggested Raja after a few minutes, “It’s not that late if you want to come over.“

“So we can make out?” added Manila sarcastically.

“No,” replied Raja, “Just to like decompress, I dunno, I’m hungry, I thought you might be too…”

“Do you ever eat vegetables?”

“Weed is a plant.”

Manila laughed and shook her head.

“What’s bothering you?” pressed Raja. 

“I try like, really hard,” said Manila, after a pause, “I take college seriously, and my parents have such high expectations of me, I just- I put so much work into it and you-” Manila gestured at her, “You fucking coast, Raja. Look at yourself. You get stoned all the time, you party and play Nintendo. And honestly, you treat the girls you date like they’re disposable, Raven’s reaction wasn’t that unreasonable… but everyone still likes you, you somehow have a perfect GPA and you look amazing-”

“Yeah, I do look amazing,” agreed Raja, with a smile. She decided to ignore the middle part of what Manila had said.

“-and you have the self-awareness of a fruit bat.”

Raja looked carefully at Manila. Her expression was tired and frustrated, the orange glow of the streetlight catching in her hair. Despite the way they constantly roasted one another, Raja cared about her, and it saddened her to hear that Manila was feeling the pressure of… well, everything.

Self-awareness. Hmm. Raja could work on that. Maybe that was the key to getting Manila to see that she wasn’t joking, that Raja genuinely, unexpectedly, to her own surprise, really liked her.

“So,” said Raja, as they approached her house, the living room light shining like a beacon, indicating that Delta or Carmen was still up, “Instant ramen and Cheetos? You can kick my ass at Smash Bros, that always makes you feel better.”

“You know what, sure,” replied Manila, rolling her eyes, a smile at the edge of her mouth, “I’m gonna hand you your ass on a silver platter, bitch. Especially since you always insist on playing as Yoshi for some reason…”

Raja smiled to herself as they went up the front steps to her door.

[heartwoodventures]

Heartwood Hatchingtide!

A mysterious note had been posted on the company’s bulletin board, beckoning members to meet at Mih Khetto’s Amphitheatre for a Hatchingtide celebration! But beyond explaining that the event was to ‘help the youth,’ details were scarce. Who’s organizing this? And what activities will happen? You’ll have to go to the amphitheatre to find out.

And the place is absolutely decked out in egg-related decorations! But most prominent is the large and ‘in charge’ chicken, dancing mad on the road leading to the center. They wave at you two, and then continue to jig.

Intrigued by the odd note, Aislinn made the time to wander her way over to the amphitheatre. Whatever was going on, her curiosity got the better of her and she needed to find out.

Cravendy What is an egg’s least favorite day of the week? Fryday! Happy....friday! xD )) Cravendy I inflict pain unto myself everytime I make a pun ))

Riylli shuffled her way through the city, keeping her head down and trying not to attract attention as she made her way to the Ampitheatre. Whatever dour mood she was in would be briefly erased however as soon as she took in the dancing chicken that appeared to be waiting for her. "Er... Cravs..? Is that you..?"

"Twelve save us." Aislinn said, shaking her head as a smile worked its way across her lips. She paused a few seconds more to watch the chicken in its maddening jig, a laugh bubbling up from her throat. "You know, I'd bet gil on it."

Riylli (I love the way our heads move watching her dance Riylli (getting in on the beat Aislinn ((We're mesmerized))

Aislinn - She waves to the chicken. "So what's all this about helping out at Hatchingtide?"

“Cravs? Who’s that?” The chicken momentarily stops dancing and, somewhere in the distance, a kid groans in disappointment. Seeing that, the chicken slumps, but begins to groove once more. “I...I am none other. Huff. Than. Chickendy Hound! And it was I that called you out today on a mission...most. Huff. Important.”

Aislinn's smile widens. "Sounds like you've been dancing there quite awhile, Chickendy Hound." she noted in amusement as she plays along.

Riylli staaaaaaaaaaaared, bewilderment on her face as she tried to wrap her head around exactly what was happening here. That was definitely Cravs. Even without the giveaway of the name, the only other one in the company that tall was Rising, who Riylli was particularly sure would not be able to dance like the chicken was after the previous night. "Er... And what's that then?"

“Ay shite, I’ve been dancin’ for bloody who knows ‘ow long...” Cravs grumbles, and at that very moment a mother and child strolls on by. Cravs stiffens and clears her throat. “I mean. I can dance all day and all night! But now, the egg advocates would have us take care of another chore-I mean, thing of utmost importance. And that...is collecting eggs!”

Riylli pauses her judgmental staring to instead watch the mother and child pass, seemingly getting distracted for a moment before turning back to the chicken and letting out a sigh. "...Right. We gettin' paid for this or what?" She asks coldly, apparently back to whatever bad mood she had been in before meeting Chickendy

In contrast to Riylli's foul (fowl) mood, Aislinn seems to be enjoying this all too much. She makes a poor attempt to hold back any more laughter and nods to the passing mother and child. She couldn't begin to imagine how hot a suit like that must get. "Aye, of course. Harsh task masters, these egg advocates."

“No good deed goes unpaid! Which is to say, no, we’re not gettin’ bloody paid for this. I asked.” Cravs crosses her arms and I swear, you could see her chicken hat’s eyes furrow in grumpy anger. “Though they said we can keep any extra eggs, which ye can probably sell if yer strapped for cash.”

"....ye -do- get a free chicken suit though. That count for anythin'?"

"How, exactly, did they talk you into this, then?" Aislinn wryly asks.

Aislinn leans forward a bit and lowers her voice. "Did you lose a bet?"

Riylli let out another long sigh. "I hate this damned city so much..." She mutters, pinching the bridge of her nose as she seriously considered just turning around right then and there

"Ch-chickendy needs no reason to spread cheer in the world!" It's unclear if that's the whole truth, half, or not at all.

Riylli shot Cravs a glare, "Oy Chickendy, you better give me a better reason than that. How'd the scary pirate lady that can't even apologize end up in a situation like this?"

That earns a doubtful, though amused noise from Aislinn. "Yeah, if Chickendy is anything like Cravendy I'm not sure that math works out." Nevertheless, she shrugs a shoulder. She needed a break from building the prototypes at any rate, it was why she wandered out in the first place. "Alright then, I'm in for a bit of egg collecting." paused. "Chicken eggs, right?" she asked, deciding she better double check.

“HEY. I’m not so cold that I’d refuse to do some good in the world! That, and I didn’t say no right away. These folk sense weakness and twist yer arm until...” Cravs hears something approach from behind and freezes up.

Aislinn ((I'm going to hear this song in my sleep)) Riylli ( PA PAYA Cravendy pa paya! :D ))

An egg advocate comes over, peppiness turned dangerously past the dial. They drop a box containing chicken costumes in front of Riylli and Lin and - did they wink somehow? “You must be joining our friend here in setting up! A thousand thanks for choosing to spend your time spreading the festivities!”

Riylli shot the newcomer a glare so powerful that it could probably be tried as physical assault. "You have to be joking. You want me to wear that shite too?"

Aislinn eyes the chicken suit that was so unceremoniously dropped in front of her. "Wait...you were serious about the costume?" she looked the egg advocate over. The maniacal exuberance and zippered up smile a touch zealous. "Why the suits? We're collecting eggs, right?"

Aislinn ((It's all fun and games until you get stuffed in a chicken suit))

“Of course! The kids -love- it, and it’s said that wearing this’ll help you collect the eggyest of eggs! Chicken eggs!” The advocate unpacks the box’s contents, finds a suit fitting Riylli’s size, and thrusts it upon her without a moment’s hesitation. This person is awfully pushy, with all the strength of a traveling salesman who's got their foot in the door. “Now now, no fussing and get cracking!”

Cravendy laughs weakly.

Aislinn suddenly finds her arms weighed down in a similar fashion. She narrows her eyes slightly over the bulky armload, very likely imagining an unseemingly kind of violence that would wipe the peppiness right out of the pushy advocate. But then she cuts a glance to the still dancing Cravendy and merely sighs. The Seawolf was definitely in dire straits. "Fine. But we bring you back eggs that are eggier than other eggs and then ALL three of us are off the hook."

Riylli is forced to accept the chicken suit into her hands, blinking as her stare went from it, to Cravs, to the advocate. She wondered if it would be possible to evade capture from this deep inside the city if she were to commit some sort of crime right about now. Her attentions thankfully turn back to Cravendy. "The next time we go out drinking, you're paying for every round I feel like havin'" Riylli stated her demands, figuring it would be in everyone's best interest to ignore the advocate

The advocate squeals with glee and points to the west. There, you’ll find the chicken coops, the eggs, the hens! Best of luck! And as the three of them make their way over, the moment Cravs is a safe distance away from the advocate she slumps over. “Thank ye both...that person is frighteningly stubborn. Ye don’t want to know.”

Riylli lets out an absolutely exhausted sigh. "Figured you wouldn't be doin' this if you weren't in some sorta trouble... One day we're gonna have to teach you how to talk to people though." She muttered as she shoved the mask on over her head.

Aislinn stares at the retreating advocate's back, noting how a squeal was not a verbal agreement. A point that might have to be dealt with later. For now, she turns to Cravendy and shrugs. "Sometimes I think our contracts are easier to deal with." she added.

Cravendy nods in agreement with Lin. Clear cut rules, payment! But in the world of volunteering and do-goodery, there was a wide spectrum of folk to tussle with. She looks over to Riylli and snorts. “Looks weird with just the ‘ead.”

Riylli began idly fiddling around underneath her mask as she tried to get it to fit properly. "Course these things don't fit my damn ears... Nice to know nothings changed around here." She muttered angrily, definitely feeling very spiteful today. "EVERY. ROUND." Riylli reminded Cravs, then finally began to put on her suit, grumbling all the while

Aislinn - As they made their way to this special hen house, Aislinn struggled into the ridiculous chicken costume. "Know what this is? This is Nymeia's jest in return for me laughing earlier." she shook her head, her small frame almost swallowed up by the bulk of the costume. Looking down at herself, she laughed. "What is my life right now?" she pondered aloud.

Cravendy ALRIGHT so since the fates up, lets hop to it xD )) Cravendy whoever gets the most eggs...wins! )) Riylli (BAH, I SUCK AT THIS FATE THO Cravendy SAME LOL  )) Aislinn Also same)) Cravendy GDI )) Riylli ( KNOCK ME TO VICTORY Cravendy these chickens have NO EGGCUSE being this rude )) Riylli (GAH Aislinn ((They're very eggcitable)) Cravendy at some point you get knocked around to much )) Cravendy you accept heavy as a way of life )) Riylli (using the aoe to dash me to other eggs Riylli (this is pro gaming Cravendy make sure to turn in your eggs! )) Riylli 16 Cravendy AGHF I keep interrupting myself xD )) Cravendy 12! LOL )) Aislinn ((9!)) Cravendy damn pro gamer over here ahah )) Riylli (Riylli shall win every hunt in this fc Riylli Y E S Cravendy EGG )) Cravendy OMG )) Cravendy thats cannibalism! xD )) Riylli (victory tastes so good Cravendy tho my parents own chickens and they egg their own eggs all the time lol )) Aislinn ((Are you eating them ALL? Cool Hand Luke over here)) Riylli eggsecution Cravendy STOP you'll overdose on them! )) Riylli (I aint doing it again you cant make me Aislinn ((EGGsplosion))

Cravendy limps away from the henhouse. Truly, these birds were in a fowl mood! But she’s managed to collect a dozen and that’s something, right?

Riylli finishes her hunt with sixteen total eggs in her basket, the ultimate hunter in both speed and grace. Of course, she may have thrown some chickens around and caused some children to cry, but victory is all that mattered in the end. If she had to be a chicken, she would be the GREATEST CHICKEN

Aislinn hurriedly clambers over the fence, a basket half-full of eggs and the sound of muffled curses coming from under her mask. "Those birds are not normal. I see why we need the damned suits now. They're protection."

Cravendy - “Never thought I’d be tossed around by a...by a chicken?!” Putting it into words doesn’t help at all. She peers over to Riylli’s haul. “‘ow’d ye manage to get so many?”

Cravendy LOL at any cost, Riylli will be the ultimate chicken xD )) Riylli (Shoving children over and stealing their eggs

Riylli puffed up her chest, somehow managing to look proud even inside such a ridiculous outfit. "When will you learn... Keepers are the greatest hunters there are! Doesn't matter if it's beast or bugs or... or eggs..." Her confidence wavered a bit at the end there, but she wasn't about to give up this opportunity to gloat

Aislinn pulls her mask off with a huff and pushes back the hair plastered to her brow. She quietly counts up the eggs between the three of them. "This better be enough to buy your freedom from this cult, Cravendy."

Cravendy “Smaller target is all. Chickens were too busy chasin’ me around.” Cravs smirks beneath her hat.

Riylli pulled her chicken hood off, freeing her ears from their confines and giving them a tentative flick. Despite herself, she was wearing a large grin that let Cravendy know this was not the last time she would hear of this. "Sure, sure, whatever you say."

“I ‘ope so too, Lin.” Cravs sighs, thinking back to how chicken-garbed strangers would pop out at the strangest of times, incessantly asking about when she was going to finally help out. But when she sees the smiles on everyone’s faces, a part of her gives. It’s not all to keep nosy birds off her back. “...OY WAIT. Cravs? It’s Chickendy!”

Aislinn starts peeling off the hen-pecked suit and shoots the Seawolf a wry smile. "Aye, aye. Chickendy. My mistake." she paused, struggling to fold the suit over one arm while holding her basket in the other. "Should we get these over to the amphitheatre so they can be...decorated or painted. Whatever they do to them next."

Cravendy sulks. She knows that tone. Call her crazy, but a small part of her had held onto hope that somehow the two of them hadn’t made the connection. “Ay, let's get this over with.”

Riylli glanced down at the mask in her hands and thought for a moment, before suddenly deciding to put it back on. "Think Ill keep this on 'till were out of the city... Personally I hope Chickendy sticks around though. She can dance for us next time we go out on a mission, keep our morale high." She teases

Aislinn slides a glance Riylli's way. "Might come in handy if we ever face down another mob of avians."

Cravendy nearly chokes at the thought of dancing to raise morale. But she fumes in silence.

As you approach the amphitheatre once more, the sounds of children laughing fill the air. All around you, families and friends excitedly partake in egg-related activities. The advocate happily accepts the party’s baskets, and then hands each of them a delicately painted egg. “You all did so good! Here, as a reward!”

Riylli silently accepted the egg, paused for a moment, then immediately dropped it. "Woops." She muttered, sarcasm absolutely dripping off her tone. It seemed now that the thrill of victory had faded, Riylli was back to her previously grumpy self. "So sorry, hard to get a good grip in this costume. You understand I'm sure."

Aislinn nods in thanks as she carefully takes the egg. She smiles in her quiet way as she runs a finger along its surface, appreciating the detail. After a moment, she looks back up at the advocate. "Those are quite some chickens you've got there. The suits did actually come in handy."

Cravendy takes the egg and pockets it. Somehow.

“No worries! Have another!” The advocate presents another gift to Riylli. A chocolate egg. They then turn to Lin, sunshine exuding from behind their feathered maw. “The finest hens in Eorzea! And they lay the tastiest eggs too!”

Riylli accepts the gift, and then drops the gift. "Woops." She said again, practically challenging the advocate to give her another. Pettiness was her specialty, and she could do this all day.

The henny-helper hums in thought, and then raises a finger as a lightbulb lights up above their head. They take out a sticker and plaster it on the center of Riylli’s chicken hat. Bock bock!

“I’m free now, right? I am, right?” Cravs asks, and the Hatchingtide worker nods. Cravs stumbles back in relief, and then looks to Lin and Riylli. “Thanks...er, strangers. Well, I must be off. To somewhere.”

Aislinn sighs softly. "Nymeia's breath." she says, barely audible. This way lay trouble, she could sense it. "Right, then. Ah...thank you, I suppose." It seemed the polite thing to say. "And...good luck with the rest of your Hatchingtide. We'll just be heading out now."

Aislinn begins back away slowly

Riylli stared, trying and ultimately failing to figure out a way to counter this attack as well. Giving up, she turned to Cravs. "See you later Chickendy, try not to make eye contact with any strangers on your way out." She said, offering her a wave. She followed close to Aislinn as she backed away, sighing heavily. "Lets go back to the house and burn this shite..."

Although they had been strongarmed into helping out, the three of them did good in spreading festive cheer in Gridania. But perhaps they would stay far away from any chicken-suited fellows in the future....just in case.

Aislinn - "Might come in handy though somewhere down the line." she says with such a straight face, it's unclear as to whether she's joking or not.

[fuckyeahalexedler]

Under the toughest minutes of his career, Alex Edler is quietly having his best defensive season yet

Wine, allergies, blue jeans, and Alexander Edler.

As cliché as it sounds, some things really do get better with age.

These past two seasons, at ages 32 and 33, Edler posted 34 and 33 points in 56 and 59 games, respectively. Extrapolate those totals over a full 82-game schedule, and they’re Edler’s second and third-best offensive seasons ever, and his best since 2008/09.

All the while, however, Edler’s defensive numbers took a nosedive under the strain of shouldering more responsibility on a blueline in flux.

Now in 2021, Edler has posted a scant four points in 19 games, but no one is complaining. That’s because he’s also facing the toughest minutes of his career, and yet somehow responding with defensive metrics that blow his last couple of seasons out of the cellar — and might just constitute his best overall performance as a Canuck thus far.

And all at the age of 34.

Where other defenders might be winding down toward retirement, Edler finds himself on the upswing.

Edler’s 2021 deployment: quality over quantity

Though the Canucks’ blueline arguably improved in the 2020 offseason via the addition of Nate Schmidt, Edler’s job hasn’t gotten any easier, mostly because he’s been stapled to Schmidt for the bulk of the season, eating up the team’s toughest minutes.

It’s true that Edler’s current TOI average of 20:19 per game is the lowest since his rookie campaign; but when it comes to deployment, Edler’s 2021 has been all about quality over quantity — as in top-quality opponents in low-quality situations, and all with high-quality results.

No regular Vancouver defender has started more of their shifts in their own end than Edler, who sports a not-so-nice 69% defensive zone-start rate, significantly higher than his 49.9% career average.

As per Micah Blake McCurdy of HockeyViz, Edler has also faced the toughest competition of any Vancouver defender, consistently being thrown out against top lines and whatever elite talent the opposition can muster up.

Both his quality of linemates and PDO of 95.9 — lowest among regular defenders — suggest that Edler isn’t getting quite as much support as he could from other skaters and his goalies when he’s on the ice.

Brutal zone-starts, the strongest competition, and a lack of support from linemates. Sounds like a recipe for defensive disaster, right?

And, yet…

Edler by the numbers

Pick a fancy stat, any fancy stat, and you’ll probably find that Edler leads the 2021 Vancouver blueline in it.

Corsi? Check. Control of scoring chances, and specifically high-danger scoring chances? Oh yeah. Fenwick and Expected Goals? Edler doesn’t just lead the D-corps in those categories, he’s ahead of anyone not named Justin Bailey.

Again, it bears serious mentioning that Edler is accomplishing all this despite the toughest deployment of his career, because these numbers also rank quite well when it comes to comparing them to the Edlers of years past.

In every major defensive metric, Edler is either beating or right in line with his career bests, most of which were recorded during the heyday of the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals run. Obviously, Edler is surrounded by a significantly worse Canucks roster today than he was back then, and yet somehow, he’s still finding the same success.

Let’s not mince words here. Edler isn’t just past his physical prime, he’s probably close to a decade past his physical prime. But here he is being asked to do a much more difficult job than he did in those prime years, and he’s performing just as well, if not better.

Truly, it defies all sense and reasonable explanation. Edler, as it turns out, is equally adept at defending against age-related hockey conventions as he is top-flight on-ice competition.

As far as coach Travis Green, who spoke to our own David Quadrelli on Friday, is concerned, there’s no real secret to Edler’s renewed success, aside from the reduced ice-time. To Green, Edler is the same ol’ Steady Eddie he’s been for the majority of his career in Vancouver.

“I think he’s just playing well,” said Green. “Eddie, he’s been a great defenceman for us for a long time. You know, I think he’s used to getting those tough assignments. We’ve tried to keep his minutes a little bit down by not putting him on the power play. And he looks fresh, he’s smart, he’s been physical. He’s having a good year.”

And lower minutes may go a long way toward explaining Edler’s personal renaissance, but he’s also performing better than before in those areas in which his duties haven’t been reduced, namely, the penalty kill.

Penalty killer queen

As of this writing, the Vancouver Canucks have the tenth-ranked penalty kill in the league at 82.3%, a sizeable jump on their 16th-ranked 80.5% of last year.

As was the case in 2019/20, Edler ranks second on the team in shorthanded minutes per game. He trailed just Chris Tanev last season, and just Travis Hamonic this year — the same Hamonic who has only played five games thus far.

In other words, if you’re going to give a single player credit for the Canucks’ improvement on the PK, you’re going to have to give it to Edler. That’s backed up by the fact that Edler has allowed just 0.32 high-danger chances per shorthanded minute, one of the best rates among regular penalty killers and way, way better than he put up in 2019/20. This is, again, despite being put out there against the other team’s top unit on most occasions.

The Nate Schmidt factor

By this point, we know what you’re all thinking, and it’s almost impressive that we’ve made it this far with only one mention of Nate Schmidt.

Yes, in terms of defensive partners, Edler has a big upgrade in Schmidt — with whom he’s shared the ice approximately 44.5% of the time in 2021 — over Chris Tanev and Troy Stecher, with whom he split the 2019/20 season.

Obviously, Schmidt’s presence alone goes a long way toward explaining Edler’s sudden defensive resurgence. But to suggest that Schmidt is the sole reason for Edler’s stellar performance is to not give the veteran defender his full due.

Both Edler and Schmidt have been significantly better together than they have been apart, and both see their metrics drop drastically with other partners — but more so for Schmidt than Edler.

When he’s not partnered with Schmidt, Edler has spent most of his time alongside rookie Jalen Chatfield. When not with Edler, Schmidt has spent most of his time alongside Tyler Myers.

Despite that time apart, their chemistry has been apparent from the get-go.

“We tried [the Edler/Schmidt pairing] originally at the beginning of the year,” said coach Green. “It wasn’t that we didn’t like it, we just wanted to get Chatfield into some games, and with the hand combos, we had to change the pairings. But that pairing’s been good for us.”

It appears then, that the benefits Schmidt has brought to Edler’s game are, at the very least, somewhat mutual, and that’s something that coach Green certainly agrees with.

“I think it goes hand-in-hand, whenever you have a partnership that you like and that is playing well together,” said Green, “It’s usually because both partners are bringing something to the table. I think they’ve had real good communication, they like playing with each other…they like the assignments they’ve had.”

The eye-test, intangibles, and head coach all agree

Though the numbers definitely look good, they’re perhaps not even the best indicator of Edler’s true excellence. In past seasons, most Vancouver fans would agree that the “eye-test” served Edler better than the fancy statline, and that he’s generally seemed to overperform the expectations of the analytics crowd.

And such is the case in 2021, too, even with a boffo set of stats.

Edler has been noticeably more mobile this year, roving up into the play in a way he hasn’t done since his earliest days in the league. He’s yet to score, but he’s come close on a couple of net-front chances, which says a lot about how active his offence has been.

He’s also hitting — if not exactly as zealously as he used to — with the sort of ferocity Vancouverites haven’t seen in years. His hits-per-60 might be down slightly, but the quality of those hits has increased by board-rattling magnitudes. Edler has made a real habit out of obliterating Calgary Flames this season, and he was one of the few players to stay consistently ornery during that dreadful six-game losing streak — one of the few who seemed genuinely angry to be losing so much. He elbowed Elias Lindholm, decked Rasmus Andersson, and even managed to turn Matthew Tkachuk into an agitatee, rather than an agitator, for once.

If Edler’s stern and silent brand of leadership wasn’t apparent enough during that losing streak, it was key in helping the team get out of it and over it. In fact, Edler’s quiet, steady alternate captaincy has been arguably more important in 2021, with the offseason departures of key leaders Tanev and Jacob Markstrom, than it ever has been before.

So, to summarize, Edler’s ice-time and offensive production may be down, but everything else is up, up, and away. The Canucks’ own man of steely glares has faced the toughest zone-starts and competition of his career and responded with the best defensive statline he’s ever put together, all the while increasing his physicality and playing a vital role in maintaining team culture as the last holdout of the Sedin era.

All of which goes to show, one should always respect their elders — and their Edlers, too.

And one should never count them out.

(Feb. 20, 2021)

[cherrywished]

“how the hell did’ja get that!?” he’s panicking, hands awkwardly hovering by her cheekbones. “who did this? i’ll kick their asses! nobody comes after mammon’s girl and lives to tell about it!”

@imbern​

now , this was quite the situation to be in. isn't it , mi kyong ? coming back to the house of lamentation , covered in bruises , black eyes , and dried up blood. now now , what would precisely prompt you to engage in such a blood bath? recalling what seemed to be a couple of hours of ago at school , saying goodbye to both Beelzebub & Satan , they both had things to do. leaving you alone for a little bit to wander the halls , seemingly , no sign of Mammon whatsoever. which was a strange occurrence itself. still , it wasn't enough to make you as mad as you would later become. overhearing some students start to speak about the so-called future rulers of hell , a few names were being tossed around. such as Satan, Lucifer , and Asmo. the usual suspects , everything was completely normal. until , ≪̲ still , can't say I expect anything out of mammon. man is a total loser , only reason why he's still around is that they're all related . hahah !! ≫̲ . that was it , without any sort of warning nor verbal inclination , Mi Kyong completely decked an unsuspecting demon square in the jaw. the action alone is enough to attract a crowd , soon it was three demons against her lone self . though that wasn't necessarily the problem , handling herself as best as she could under the circumstances that devildom imposed on herself & her abilities. let's just say , the next half hour that followed was far too graphic to retell accurately.

it's only when the student council breaks up the fight , both Diavolo and Lucifer were present. both of them had suspected it was just lower demons whom gotten into an argument that got out of hand , however , seeing their human exchange student wasn't exactly what either of them had barged for. Lucifer watching closely and experiencing Mi Kyong slam another student to the ground. at the time , only pure anger oozed out of his system. though , thinking back on it , he was relatively impressed she managed to hold her own for that long. still that didn't stop him from removing her entirely from the altercation , and bringing her aside to hear what she had to say. ❛ you can say whatever you want , I'm not apologizing to those scum ! ❜ sticking her tongue out , not the correct thing to say in this situation. ≪̲ mi kyong , you are here as a guest to not only our school but our relam. it would be impudent , if you remembered such a fact , human. ≫̲ that's right , to everyone else , that's what you appeared to be . biting your tongue for the time being . ≪̲ now now , Lucifer. I'm sure Mi Kyong has a reason for what she did , you & I both know , she isn't the type to start this sort of thing without good reason. but. do not let this become a habit , am I clear ? ≫̲ nodding , a way to say her own compliance. neither Diavolo or Lucifer had anything else to say on the matter and told her to go straight home , lest she started anything else today.

opening the doors to the house , firstly , no one is there to greet her. feeling the buzz of her DDD go off , seeing all sorts of text messages from Levi, Satan, and Asmo. ≪̲ is it true you almost killed some normies lololol - levi ≫̲ / ≪̲ Lucifer was looking rather angry today , did something happened ? - satan ≫̲ / ≪̲ ohmygoodness I heard what happened !! let me look at your face later ! I could never imagine putting my face in harms way like that ! - asmo ≫̲ as much as their concerns warmed her own heart , it still didn't erase the initial anger that still coursed through her veins. looking at the hallway mirror , truly , you looked like hell. behind you , the entrance door swung open. looking behind your shoulder , it was mammon. the very man , who you put your life on the line for. ≪̲ what's this ?! my human waited for me to get home , didn't know you'd miss THE mammon that mu― hold on a second , is that blood ...? ≫̲ initial confusion soon shifting to complete rage . ≪̲ 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨? 𝙞’𝙡𝙡 𝙠𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨! 𝙣𝙤𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙢𝙖𝙢𝙢𝙤𝙣’𝙨 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙩! ≫̲ as grateful she is to hear his worries , mi kyong knows full well if she were to be honest what had occured the guilt would be too much for him to bear. additionally , he'd be a complete untolerable puppy afterwards.

❛ t-this ? oh , it's nothing !! really . . . nothing to worry about. ❜ actively avoiding any eye contact with him , moving to run away. his hands grip her face , bringing it closer to his as a result. ≪̲ cut the shit. what happened. ≫̲ gosh , when he puts it like that , ocean - like eyes are now downcasted. incapable of staring at those eyes of his for much longer. ❛ okay okay !! it was over you . . . some demons were mouthing off about how you were no good and stuff like that , which they're totally wrong about ! they've got no idea about all your good points at all !! you can't expect me to just sit by and listen to that can you ? ❜ shoulders drop , Mammon is taken aback by this news. unsure of what exactly to say to this , all he can do is stroke her cheek and look into her eyes. wishing to ask , why would you hurt yourself like this over someone like me. & look how much pain you're in , why , why over me ? oh , how you wish for him to understand the exact reason to why you'd put yourself in bodily harm. thinking back on it , wait a second , did he just call you Mammon’s girl ? no no , that wasn’t important. still , it gave you hope for the future. 

[spinwrites]

creatures of the sea

Danny Phantom/Percy Jackson fanfic. Summary: When Danny - freshly established in the coast of Miami as a powerful part-mer - attends a family reunion, things go wrong.

-

Danny has extended family. But today he discovers it’s big.

He’s never seen half these people in his life. There’s Aunt Alicia with Mom at the buffet table. A couple of cousins wrestling at the bow. His Dad and uncle are having a fudge eating competition somewhere. But why are there thirty people here? Where did they come from?

Maybe it’s because his parents are the ones hosting the reunion this year, and instead of city homes or suburban farms, it’s held on the Fenton Family Mer Assault Yacht. Or the FFMAY, as Tucker calls it.

But it’s not their usual FFMAY. Their usual FFMAY is a Frankenstein of inventions twisted into a vessel that functions against all odds. It’s currently sitting in storage.

FFMAY 2.0 is an upgrade – sleek and shiny and twice as big, with engines thrice as strong and grandeur that went from nah to woah.

It’s also sponsored by Vlad Masters.

“The labs are so advanced,” Maddie gasped when the Fentons first explored their gift, “and the weapons vault, there’s so much space!”

Jack was sold the minute he found the fudge machine. Jazz looked impressed, staring up at the three decks, the floor to ceiling windows, even the damn automatic door that ran on facial recognition software.

A pale blue light scanned the faces of an astonished Jazz and her sulking brother. The door slid open with a whish!  “I heard the map room has a ton of books,” she said as she stepped through. “We’re really lucky to have a billionaire as our family friend.”

“But it’s Vlad,” Danny complained. The door shut in his face.

So while Danny doesn’t doubt these people on the yacht are related to him in some distant way, he also doesn’t doubt two things: 1) They only came because it smells like rich people money, and 2) Plasmius is going to show his blobfish mug within the next couple hours. He skulks at a corner of the highest deck with his arms crossed and an impressive scowl.

The breeze tussles his hair, bringing with it the scent of salt water. The ocean glitters, calm and inviting, and Danny wants nothing more than take a dive. But he feels like he’s just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

When Tucker calls him on the Fenton phones to keep him company, he whines to his best friend about the woes of having an archenemy.

The techno-geek isn’t having it.

“You can’t keep worrying like this, dude, or your hair’s gonna go gray even in human form. Go talk to people, play a game on your phone, eat a muffin! Speaking of muffins, can you save me some from the buffet?”

“I don’t know. Mom was trying out her new recipe,” Danny says, sighing. He braces his elbows on the railings as he scans the sea. He feels tired. “Some of the muffins turned into a bunch of colors. I don’t even know if they’re safe to eat.”

“Really?” a new voice says.

Danny jumps, swiveling around. An older boy in a T-shirt and ragged jeans frowns at him, holding a blue, half-eaten muffin in a hand. “But this one’s really good.”

“Oh.” Danny wracks his brain for a memory of this person. It turns up blank. “It does?”

The guy smiles crookedly. He’s tall, with messy black hair and a handsome face. Looks about sixteen, though Danny can’t place his ethnicity. Despite his friendly demeanor, the teen’s stormy green eyes hold power.

Danny’s unnerved. Is he a distant cousin? Adopted child? Someone’s half-brother?

Tucker’s voice next to his ear asks what’s up.

“I’ll call you later,” Danny says in a low voice, turning off the comm link.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were talking to someone.” The older teen frowns. His gaze pins Danny in place. “Are you the Phantom?”

“Wha-” Danny catches himself. “Ha-ha, Phantom? No, not- not sure what you’re talking about. No.”

The two stare at each other. Danny stamps down the panic crawling up his throat, but the other teen raises his hands, palms out. He’s still holding the muffin. “Hey, it’s okay. I didn’t expect to see you here. I’m-”

Something slams into the yacht.

The vessel lurches, tossing the guy backwards. Danny catches himself against the railings before the yacht rocks back into position, sending a wave splashing down onto the lower decks. Screams ring the air as people topple like bowling pins against the floors. Around them, liquids slosh and plates crash.

“I knew it.” Danny searches for the attacker in the water that’s now choppy with waves. The hull of the starboard is smoking but intact. The other teen appears next to him, scanning the scene. Danny keeps a wary eye on him.

Suddenly, a column of water bursts out of the sea. It unravels and parts, like curtains on a stage, revealing a green-skinned man whose torso melts into tentacles as long as the yacht. His singular red eye flicks to the two teenagers on the yacht, narrowing when they land on Danny.

“Phantom!” he roars.

“I don’t recognize this monster,” mystery guy says.

Danny grits his teeth. “Why would you know about monsters?”

“I come in the name of Lord Plasmius!” said monster continues to shout. “Heed my challenge to a mighty duel, or this vessel and its land-dwellers will face my wrath!”

Right on cue, a dozen grappling hooks shoot out from the ocean surface like canons, descending and hooking their claws onto the railings of the first deck. Their ropes pull taut, then to Danny’s horror, the whole yacht begins to tilt. Two of the guests on the second deck lose their bearings, and with shouts they tumble over the railing, falling into the sea.

Heart in his throat, Danny recognizes one of them. “Aunt Alicia!”

The woman could handle herself, he knew, but not against whatever else was beneath the waves, on the other end of the hooks. And there was the other person who fell in. He steps up to the railings, prepared to dive in after them, when a blast nearly crashes into him. Looking high and mighty in the air and palms still glowing with power, octopus man snarls, revealing sharp teeth.

“Will the famous creature of this sea refuse me?”

“You get them,” the other teen commands suddenly, green eyes hard. “I’ll show this guy the real meaning of creature of the sea.”

“What?”

He pulls out something from his jeans pocket. Danny realizes it’s a pen and the guy pops the cap off. In a swift moment, he’s pointing a long, bronze sword at octopus man.

Danny gapes. “Who are you?”

“Percy Jackson.” He grins, then he yells at the monster, “Hey slime-ball, why don’t you challenge me to a duel!”

Octopus man’s eye flickers to him. Danny sees his hands powering up, the tentacles beginning to twist in agitation, the water around him bubbling in reflection of his rage.

Danny doesn’t want to rely on a stranger, but there’s no time. So Danny takes the risk and leaps over the edge of the yacht, willing the transformation to take hold as he plunges into the water. 

Whoever Percy Jackson is, Danny will have to trust him for today.

-

Written: 24 Sept 2019 | Phandom Bingo 2019: Mer AU, crossover, family reunion, Aunt Alicia

[derryhawkins]

I Love Him, Your Honor

summary: During college, Richie works part time at a law office for the sole reason it pays well, and he honestly thinks it’s utter hell. But then he meets another part time employee who works down in the file room and, well, maybe the law office isn’t completely hellish. words: 4.5k a/n: i honestly don’t even know why i’m posting this but hey i made an ao3 account finally and you can read this on there if you want! richie’s part time job is purely based off of mine; i got this idea yesterday when leaving and just ran with it, and thus this chapter was born. idk when the next chapter will be up but pls give this love 

chapter one: you need a job

“Look, Rich,” Ben Hanscom starts as they exit their shared physics course, sidestepping a few other college students who were being slow. He calls back a genuine sorry after accidentally shoving one of them before turning back to his friend, the curly haired boy just barely passing him in height. “You need a job. You’re nearly twenty! Bev says they need help over there, like, so bad. They had to fire someone, and two others quit and they’re leaving in a week.”

Richie Tozier looks at Ben incredulously. The dark haired college student knew full and well of Beverly Marsh; the short little redhead is one of his best friends and Ben’s fiancée. Richie likes to give himself credit for their relationship, because according to him, he set them up back in freshman year of high school. Six years later and they’re engaged, and Bev has a full time job after finishing college within two years, and Ben’s on his way to (hopefully) be an architect. Of course, that’s not how it went. Richie and Beverly met Ben in a crappy, run down elevator that worked from time to time at their school. Ben had been running late, the other two were ditching. They got stuck for five hours in that crappy elevator. Richie just likes to say he planned it. But, of course, that’s not what this current situation is about. (And the school banned anyone from using the elevator there on out).

“Bev works at a law office, Ben!” Richie yells, throwing his hands in the air as if to make a point. “All they do is sit at desks in front of computers.”

Ben rolls his eyes. “Like sitting at home on your phone or in front of the TV aren’t the same thing as sitting in front of a computer.”

Richie ignores the sarcasm. “I don’t need a job.”

“You quit your other one last month. We’re in college, man! It’s like, I dunno, death not having a job. You need to eat food!”

“I can get breakfast, lunch, and dinner here because I’m in a dorm, and on the weekends when I’m home the ‘rents cook. I’m fine!”

It’s silent as Ben gives Richie a look while they continue to walk down the steps of the building, mixing in with other students who are either leaving or heading to class. Thankfully for Richie, he only has physics today; the only down side is that it’s an 8am course, and it had been the only one available when he signed up for classes. He has Ben, though, so it isn’t all too terrible. And it’s his only 8am. Half of the others are hybrids – he only has to show up for the midterm and final, and turn in work online – and the others are either afternoon or night classes. He has it pretty easy this semester.

So, yes, he can easily get a job, and he has been thinking of getting one, but now both Ben and Beverly are pestering him about it and suddenly he doesn’t want to get one. Richie scratched at his jaw as he thought of his previous job – the stereotypical college job at McDonald’s. He’s worked there since junior year of high school, and it wasn’t that it was bad. It had been decent, at most. He liked the money, liked the food he got to bring home and to his friends, and liked the cute girls and guys who walked in. He just quit because it got too ‘going through the motions’. Richie knows a law office isn’t going to be much better.

If he gets a job, he wants to at least like it.

The January wind nips at them as they step outside, both guys’ faces scrunching up in various forms of oh shit it’s cold. Ben fixes the scarf around his neck to cover his nose and wraps his arms around himself. Meanwhile, Richie just hunches his shoulders, clenching his teeth together. In just a t-shirt, a thin zip-up jacket that’s not zipped up, and ripped skinny jeans, he wasn’t dressed properly for the winter months; Ben, on the other hand, who’s decked out in a scarf, a thick winter jacket, comfortable jeans and gloves, is dressed properly.

Richie can hear his parents’ voices now reprimanding him for not wearing the proper clothes, and soon enough her could hear his other best friend, Stan Uris, with them.

“Just… At least think about the job, okay?” Ben speaks as they get to the sidewalk by the road, lowering the scarf so his friend can hear him better. They both stop walking and face one another. “And wear decent winter clothes, man, you’re gonna catch another cold.”

He waved a hand dismissively. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” he says. “You’re starting to sound like Stan the Man, Mistah Handsome.”

The corners of Ben’s lips turn up. “You’re genuinely getting better at those voices, Rich.”

Richie feigned offense. One hand moves to his chest as if his heart were hurt. “You say that as if I haven’t always been amazin’,” he says, voicing sounding like it could be southern but neither of them were too sure.

“Well…”

A gasp. “Ben!”

They both start to laugh then but it dies down soon after. Ben unwraps his scarf and tosses it to Richie, who catches it with ease, and then starts to leave. “Gotta blast, Rich.”

Richie smiles. “Ah, yes, get home to the Missus!” He puts the scarf on. It’s not much at all, but it still helps.

“No, I got another class and then I’m taking the almost Missus lunch.”

“Tell Bev she sucks for me!”

“Why?”

“She ate my last bag of hot Cheetos when she stopped by yesterday.”

Ben laughs. “Alright, yeah. Will do!”

And just like that, Richie is alone. It honestly isn’t often he and Ben get to spend time together. Hell, even his time with his two best friends isn’t much. They all have school or work or both, and it’s just hard not spending as much time together as they used to. Which was where Wednesday night game nights came in. Weekends, they all went their separate ways to their parents. So, they did the next best thing: Wednesdays. At the thought of their game nights, Richie pulls out his phone as he hurriedly walks to his dorm and opens the group chat, sending a quick game suggestion.

+++

Music plays softly from the laptop at the foot of the bed, a generous amount of papers and a text book between Richie and it. He doesn’t particularly like studying – who does? – mostly because he’s never had to properly study before, but physics isn’t exactly on the easy side of things, and he doesn’t want to fail; his mom claims he probably doesn’t even need to study too much given as he understands math easily, and Richie thinks that’s the exact opposite of what a parent should be saying to their child who’s trying to successfully get through college. But, hey, they’re relationship isn’t on the rocks anymore – a shit load of teen angst on his part, a small drinking problem on her part, too engrossed into his job on Wentworth’s part, and being batshit annoying on his little sister’s part – so the legal adult doesn’t mind not being told to study, either.

The Tozier family is back to being good and mostly healthy, and as happy as they were when Richie had been a little kid. Only now, Tori is the one with teen angst and Richie’s doing his best to be a decent big brother by helping out with it.

A shrill ring cuts off the music and pulls him away from his thoughts, flinching at the sudden change in sound before reaching over and muting his laptop. He pauses the music and answers the call on his phone before pressing speaker. A smile forms at looking at the caller I.D.

“I was just thinking about you, T-Rex!” Richie exclaims and he goes back to copying down a problem from a work sheet the professor handed out in class.

“Oh, the amazing Richard thought about me,” she sarcastically says. “What ever will my fangirl heart do?”

“I predict that you will sob once the call is over and scream at your equally fangirly friends about how I graced your ears with my wonderful voice.”

“More like made them bleed.”

“You wound me!”

“Good!”

“First Ben, now you – my poor old heart can’t take it!”

“Then perish.”

He snorts out a laugh.

“But, hey, I’m calling for a reason, dickhead. Stop whatever you’re doing and listen to the best little sister in the world,” Tori tells him.

Richie sighs and drops the pencil dramatically. It hit the notebook with a soft thud but it’s loud enough for Tori to hear over the phone. “Why, do tell, young maiden,” he says, using a Voice.

“Mom’s sick with a bad cold.”

He blinks. “…Okay?”

“Dad’s gonna still be at work until five-.”

“Whoa, hold on, wait a damn minute!” Richie sits up and pulls his computer close to look at the time as he realizes what’s happening. More accurately, what the girl was getting at. “Victoria!” Richie had been so caught up in doing the math problems and messing with the sixteen year old demon he calls a sister to even take notice of the time until then. It’s not even time for her to be out of school – hell, it was barely 11:30. “T-Rex, how scandalous of you! Skipping school.” He pauses. “Fuck, you’re me.”

“I mean…we are related.” A beat of silence. “But I’m not skipping. I got suspended. Mom’s too sick to answer the phone, and Dad’s too busy at work. I convinced them to let me call you.”

Richie sighs. “It’s two weeks into the semester, T-Rex.” He leans an elbow on his knee and put his forehead in the palm of his hand.

Getting suspended isn’t exactly a new thing for either Tozier children. Richie got detention countless of times for various reasons, earning him a few times of suspension, and Tori just has a habit of mouthing off adults – similar to her big brother – but also has one of fighting – not so similar to her big brother.

“I don’t know what you want me to do, kid.”

“Pick me up,” she replies with a duh tone.

“My truck’s still in the shop, dingbat.”

“Well, I don’t exactly have a car, either, douchebag.”

Richie is quiet for a split second. “Okay. Look. I’ll try to get one of my friends to drive me over there. Stay in the office, and just walk home if I’m not there by twelve-thirty.”

Tori grumbles. “Fine.”

Richie makes a face at her sour attitude, about to say something – “Ah, teen angst, what a marvelous thing it is” – when she hangs up before he can ever utter another word. He gasped at the device and sent her a bunch of middle finger emojis before dialing his three friends one by one. Ben didn’t answer. It stopped ringing halfway through the third ring and not a minute later, Ben’s text of “still in class” lit up his phone once again. He then calls Beverly, who he knows won’t answer but did it anyway for the sake of annoying her. To his surprise, she answers; only to greet him with a short, “No,” before hanging up on him.

“Stanny Boy, you better pick up,” Richie mutters as he crawled off of the dorm bed, finding his shoes.

“This better be good, Trashmouth,” is Stan’s form of greeting not even two seconds later.

Richie grins, pleased at least one of his friends is letting him explain. “Not good in the long run but it’s for a good enough reason, Bird Brain,” he says. “Where are you?”

“…What did you do?”

He rolls his eyes. “Not me. Our ferocious T-Rex.”

“She’s your sister.”

“She’s adopted you as her ‘better big brother’. This is what you get for befriending me when we were four and she was one, and staying best friends with me our entire lives. If you need to feel better, know that I did call Mister and Missus first because I know you enjoy your lazy Mondays.”

Stan hums. “It doesn’t.” Then Richie hears shuffling on the other end, and his hopes rise high. “But I’m on my way to pick you up. You can explain everything then.”

“You’re the best, Stanley, might as well marry you right now! Let’s go elope – take a road trip to Vegas!”

“I’ll castrate you.”

“Kinky.”

“Oh, my god.”

“See ya when you get her, my love.”

“Yuck, don’t ever call me that again. Bye.”

+++

A year and a half later, Richie never once thought he would be entering his old high school ever again – excluding the reunions he knows Beverly will drag them all to, none of the boys exactly having a choice in the matter – let alone the office of said school. Yet here he stands, all of the memories flooding back to him; both good and bad ones. He wasn’t exactly popular in school. More of the annoying class clown everyone hates but secretly finds funny. At least, at first. Everything eventually changed in sophomore year.

Richie makes a face and turns to Stan. No one was at the front desk, so they were being forced to wait to collect the youngest Tozier from the principal’s office.

“I should’ve let her rot here.”

Stan rolls his eyes. “You’re too good of a brother for that,” he says. “The principal hated you and she’s most likely getting secondhand hate from the douchebag himself.”

Richie’s eyes widen behind his glasses at the realization. He hadn’t exactly left the high school on good terms with anyone, minus his three good friends and the math teacher for the freshman, and maybe the woman who usually sits at the desk in the front office. “Fuck,” he whispers. Then louder, “What if she’s getting bullied?”

Stan gives a look that said he was crazy. “She just got suspended for fighting. I’m sure she can take care of herself, man.” He pauses, worries his bottom lip, and sighs. “But now I’m worrying about that too. So, thanks for that.”

Only a few seconds of silence goes by before Richie speaks again. “You think people still talk?”

“Nah. Everyone who was here then has graduated. Unless, one or two got held back.”

“The teachers are gossip royalty here.”

“I doubt they gossip about former students to current students, especially when one of them is your baby sister.”

“Our baby sister.”

“Just because I helped you babysit all throughout middle school doesn’t mean I’m her brother, too. We’ve been over this!”

“Try telling her that; the kid adores you! Always has.”

“Which is weird. Besides, back to the point, it's twenty-nineteen now. People who shit on someone for liking the same gender should just become extinct cavemen.” The words cause Richie to let out a laugh.

“Well, look who it is,” the lady who sits at the front desk finally appeared. Both young adults smile at seeing her, genuinely pleased. Miss Mims was one of the few adults at the school Richie and his friends liked; Hell, they still like her. In a year and a half, the woman hadn’t changed much. Long dirty blonde hair had been cut to her shoulder, and her dark eyes seem happier. Her usual blouse and nice pants are the same, and she’s still just under five feet. “Uris and Tozier, what a pleasant surprise.” Miss Mims smiles at them.

“Hi, Sara!”

“Hey, Miss Mims.”

She chuckles and holds up her left hand. “It’s Mrs. Delaney now, kids.”

Stan grins and leans forward to check out the rings on her finger. “Congratulations! When did it happen?”

Richie leans forward too, and nearly knocks Stan over, mouth in a big toothy grin. “Give us the deets, Sara! Who’s the lucky fella? Or gal, y’know. Bet they’re good in bed, huh, Staniel?”

“Rich,” Stan warns, almost in a reminding tone.

He blinked. Then, “Oh! Right, forget those questions Sar- Uh, Mrs. Delaney! My kid sister is stuck in the principal’s office, I’m sure you’ve heard why. Suspension. Fighting. The shticks.”

Mrs. Delaney snorts. “You Toziers are something else. But yeah, I’ll go get her. Where are you parents?”

“Sick and working. I’ve got the rest of the day free, so I volunteered myself to do the dirty so Went wouldn’t have to leave.” He purposefully didn’t say anything about not telling their parents, or even planning on it. At least, he knows Tori isn’t going to tell. And he’s not going to throw her under the bus no matter how funny it’ll be.

Stan rolls his eyes. “His truck isn’t working so I got dragged along.”

“You love me, Staniel.”

“Debatable.”

“I’ll go get her. Shouldn’t be long at all.”

And it isn't.

Within five minutes, the baby of the family is stepping out while Mrs. Delaney goes to her chair behind her desk, marking the girl as being picked up by a family member. The sight of Victoria, to put it simply, surprises both college students greatly. There's a cut on her bottom lip, and the intricate fishtail braid she had done that morning after straightening her usually wild curls is gone. All her knuckles are scabbed over and bruised, and there's a tear at the knee of her jeans, showing a pale bandaid instead of her pale skin. Richie quickly stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets as his brows lower in concern but mostly anger, lips pulling into a thin line. She's gotten in fights before but never has she gotten so beat up. Stan, still beside Richie, is barely hiding his shock. The stares from the two quickly make Tori uncomfortable and she shifts on her feet, tennis shoes squeaking against the polished tile. It's clear she's in a worse mood Richie originally thought. He just believed she punched someone, yelled a few choice words, and then got sent to the office. Rather, it had been a full fledged fight with two fists and blood, and he can tell Tori isn't happy. Not even angry right now. Just...sad, almost.

"You should see the other guy," she tries to joke, but it falls flat quickly.

"It was a boy?!" Richie shrieks, finally blowing his top. He can handle, for the time being, his sister fighting another girl; he can't handle a boy hitting her physically. He turns to Mrs. Delaney accusingly, the newly married woman jumping at the sudden movement. "You let a boy hit my baby sister?"

"Rich, whoa, calm down," Stan quickly moves and sends an apologetic look to the woman. "It's not her fault, man."

Tori messes with the ends of her brown hair. "I... I'll explain later. Can we just please leave?"

He shakes his best friend off of him, and Richie huffs. "Fine, okay. Whatever." He pauses. "Uh, sorry, Mrs. Delaney."

The woman just gave a smile that tells them that she forgave the outburts. Then, the three of them walk out of the school and to Stanley's car. The ride is silent almost the entire time. Stan got a phone call from his boss at a café he works at, which shifts their ending destination to Stan's work place rather than the university seeing as he needs to get to work pronto, and a spare uniform is in his trunk. Twenty minutes later, the Uris is ushering the Toziers out of his car. Richie doesn't make a move to talk about the fight. Tori doesn't make a move to explain. It's clear she doesn't want to, not yet, and even though Richie desperately wants to know what happened, he can't just force it out of her. She shuts down completely; he's learned that the hard way.

"Hey," Stan speaks up as he gets the uniform out of the trunk. "Sorry I can't take you the rest of the way."

Richie shrugs, looking around. His eyes then land on a familiar beige and dark brown building, and in the front parking lot he takes notice of a familiar black car. He checks the time on his phone, and then starts off, telling his little sister to stay by Stan's car, ignoring their calls of questions as he races across the busy street. He nearly get hit a few times and flips off anyone who honks at him, but he eventually made it to the other side. He jogs to the building and walks in, smiling widely at the receptionist up front.

"Hey, has a blond guy about my height come in by any chance?" He asks the woman who can't be much older than thirty, leaning on the counter, slightly out of breath.

She looks at him as she hangs up a call she just ended. "Yeah." Her brows pull together. "He went back that way, why?"

He doesn't answer. Instead, he spins on his heel and goes in the direction the lady pointed in. It's not long at all until he hears the familiar laughter of Ben mixed with Beverly's. "My, if it isn't two my favorite people in the whole world!" Richie exclaims as he enters the office.

Ben yelps in surprise but quickly relaxes. "Jesus, Richie..."

Beverly grins and lunges at Richie, pulling him into a tight hug. "Hi! Have you made up your mind already?" She pulls back a split second later to look at him, hopeful.

"Uh." Richie holds up a finger. "No."

"Rich-."

"I need Mr. Handsome here to drive me and Tori back to the university," he interrupts her, and clasps a hand on Ben's shoulder. "And then I need to borrow his car to take her home so our parents don't find out she got suspended."

"She what?!" The two shout in unison. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that they were heard throughout the building.

"Long story," he mumbled, trying not to show how upset he was.

Beverly's blue eyes narrow the slightest bit. She knows something's up; she always does, somehow. Like a sixth-sense for when her friends are upset. Maybe it's because she's a year older than them all. "Ben's not driving you unless you agree to work here," Beverly says quickly. "Period."

"Oh, c'mon, Bev-," Richie tries. He looks to Ben for help, but the guy looks away as if he's admiring the awful pale green color on the wall.

The twenty year old shook her head, strands of red hair falling in her. She brushes them away with ease. "No. You need a job, Rich, you know that. And Maggie and Went would be agreeing with us." She motions between herself and Ben.

Richie makes a face.

"The pay's good," Beverly says quietly after a few seconds.

The look goes away. "...How good?" Not a minute later, Beverly grabs a check she has yet to put in her account and handed it to him. Brown eyes widen from behind the frames of his glasses. He let out a low whistle. "Damn..."

"They're lawyers, Richie, it's not exactly gonna be a bad pay. It's not McDonald's. And you'll most likely work part time, meaning you'll get to pick your hours. They're lenient. Just show up, do your job, respect them and everyone else, and they'll be happy."

Richie stares, thinking it over, and hands the check back to Beverly. She takes it quickly and puts it back in her purse, both her and Ben waiting for Richie's answer. He crosses his arms and looks between his two friends. Good pay. Lenient. Pick your own hours. A sigh leaves his lips and he lets his head fall backwards. He does need a job. He can't live on ramen forever, and he certainly can't live off of the box of Cosmic Brownies hidden in his closet away from his dorm mate. "Alright," he finally says, sounding defeated.

Beverly grins like a madman and squeals. "Perfect! Kim!" She dashes out of the office and grabs Richie to make him tag along. They pass by the lobby in a flash, and Richie barely has time to smile at the receptionist cheekily. They continue down the hall, passing cubicles that are mostly empty and a few offices that have people in them, and don't stop until the very end. She's then dragging him into a slightly bigger, nice office with shelves for books and a bigger desk with two chairs. A woman in her forties at at the desk, typing on her phone. She has brown hair that went to her shoulders and blue eyes peer up at them both as they stand behind the chairs. She looks nice, Richie has to admit, but there was also something about her that demanded respect and oozed authority. "Kim, this is Richie Tozier, my friend I told you about."

Richie smiles, and decides to be a decent human. "Hi, it's nice to meet you," he says, sticking a hand out for her to shake. If he could stay the way he is with his friends, he most definitely would. But Kim actually scares him a bit, and he doesn't want to get on her bad side just yet.

Kim smiles back and shakes his hand after standing. "You too, Richie. Beverly's told us a lot about you," she tells him, chuckling. "I guess she's told you about how we're low on employees?"

He chuckles. "Yea- yes, ma'am."

"He's decided to work here, as long as you and Thomas and Peter are okay with it," Beverly explains.

She scoffs and then lets out a loud laugh. "Of course we're fine with it! Work has been piling up for everyone already, and its only going to get worse when those two officially leave. We need all the hands we can get."

"I'd have to work part time," Richie tells the woman. "I'm in college."

"Completely okay," Kim says pairing her words with a smile.

"And I don't have my truck right now, its in the shop, so I don't know when I can start."

"Oh! Tomorrow! We can carpool, it'll be your sophomore year all over again - minus, y'know, the thing," Beverly says. Her hand waves in the air and she half rolls her eyes, and Richie snorts. The thing... It certainly was a 'thing', alright.

"Bev-."

"Fine, I'll make Ben drive you."

"Dude, he has barely any free time, don't do that to him... Okay, we can carpool until I get my truck back."

"Yes!"

Kim chuckles at the two, softly shaking her head. She looks at Richie then. "Welcome aboard, Richie. Come in when you can tomorrow, and then we'll figure out set hours. Sounds good?"

Richie nods. "Yes, ma'am. I'll probably be here around ten."

"Perfect."

Finally, after that and after stealing Bev's hot Cheetos Ben had brought her - he wasn't a total ass, he left the sandwich and drink - he left with Ben, the blond taking him over to where Stan works; where Tori is still patiently waiting. The girl climbs in without a second thought and thankfully Ben doesn't mention her disheveled appearance. As they leave, they wave bye to Stan. Well, they wave by to the café and grill, hoping in some weird way Stan might be able to see them.

[bonnie-barstow-of-flag]

The Not So Lonesome Knight Part 6

Parts 1 X, 2 X , 3 X , 4 X, 5 X

Where in the Devil were his employees? He can’t help but wonder. They were certainly long overdue!

When they finally arrive at the restaurant, the Foundation’s salt and pepper haired Patriarch is waiting and had apparently been doing so, for a good allotment of time. Devon Miles cast a vexed glance down at this wristwatch. His marvelous topaz eyes radiate impatience which, was tempered by a more merciful nature. His lips are pulled tight into a frown though the relief is evident upon his countenance upon catching sight of the distinctive hard-top taxiing to a stop.

“Kitt, you know the drill.” Michael cheerfully states, shifting the gears into park. They’d been through this routine more than a hundred times by now. Plus, he had every confidence that Kitt would go into surveillance mode as they discussed the case. While, it felt like overkill, Michael really didn’t want to lower his guard. Especially, if someone was preparing to strike out at the Foundation. His detective instincts knew it was a very real possibility.

He exits the cabin and skids his way over Kitt’s hood so that he can promptly open the door for Bonnie. Sure, the day hadn’t been off to the best of starts. Though, he really did enjoy the kiss. Gazing at her now, with that same embarrassed flush upon her face, made him all the more certain that he wanted to be with her or alone the rest of his life. But he can’t imagine upsetting her. He had already come dangerously close to provoking her while they were getting dressed. So it is with earnest that he feels compelled to show her how he felt without the assistance of fancy words.

Flattery and chivalry weren’t things Bonnie was fully accustomed to. So her hand instinctively had flown to the door handle but before she can grasp it, the door is swung wide open before her. She stares long at hard for a second at his proffered hand before allowing her own fingers to graciously curl around it. The grasp parts when she rises to stand upon her own two feet. “Thanks.” The gracious word is imparted, just a hint louder than a whisper. The brunette can feel the tropical scorch rising back into the curves of her cheekbones. Internally, her heart gives a petitioning thud. Tell him, tell him. Her mind chants to no avail. Her tongue was unready and unwilling to gift any such nonsense a voice.

As they walk she can feel the reassuring pressure of his palm residing over the small of her back. He’d always done that for as long as she could remember. For some reason today it felt different. Dare she consider it a loving gesture? No. It had to be a silly trick of her sentimental imagination! Besides, when Michael had learned that she was the one he had been kissing, his azure orbs had almost vacantly searched her. She had interpreted that as Michael showing a polite indifference. Who was she trying to kid by fancying that last night would have any significant impact? Michael was notoriously allergic to attachments. He moved from one girl to the next in pursuit of the next hot fling. Bonnie didn’t want that. She didn’t want meaningless relations. Even more so, she didn’t desire a lowly unimportant place in his life. Still, with his hand pressed against her, the mechanic allows herself to cling to a tiny shred of hope that she may still earn something more than his passing affections.

“My heavens,” the elder gentleman starts, the very minute Bonnie and Michael were seated. The richness of his purely English accent slipping into every syllable. “I was beginning to think you two weren’t going to show.” His gracefully veiled reproach was well deserved given they were definitely more than one hour late. Fidgeting, he readjusts the cuffs of his tailored suit jacket before he picking up the menu to give it another once over. “What in the Devil kept you? I trust you have a good explanation.”

He is met with bashful glances and two definitive apologies. Michael is the first to clear his throat. “It’s my fault, Devon. There was a mix-up at the hotel.”

“Oh?” Devon questions. His graying brow quirking just enough to show that his curiosity had been piqued.

“Well you see,” Michael commences, ready to launch into the whole spiel when Bonnie interjects.

Bonnie, never really one to slouch, allowed herself to sink lower in the comfort of the booth. “It’s a long and uninteresting story, Devon. Let’s just say the front desk made the phone call to the wrong room.” The excuse sounded plausible enough. Didn’t it? She cast a worried glance at the two from over her own menu.

Michael looked as if he had been physically struck. His tongue was ready to dispute part of her explanation when he thought the better of it. Maybe, just maybe, she was right. Undeserved shame compels his head to droop. His mind considers the potential that he wasn’t the great company he thought he was. Try as he might to focus on the menu, he couldn’t. Her words kept rolling like a bowling ball down an endless lane, over and over in his mind. What had she meant by her statement? Why did it feel like she had been speaking in some kind of code? Or was he simply too unintelligent to decipher any message she was trying to get across? Why was it so hard to communicate with her?!

Bonnie snagged a glimpse of Michael. Her heart sinks inside of her chest as his expression bordered on the precipice of offended and angry. Had it been something she said? Worry grips tightly around the slowly thrumming muscle. Each of its beats dredged up fear that he loathed her. How could she backtrack now? Swallowing sharply she feels her appetite fleeting.

Devon, who to this point is still blissfully unaware, cheerfully prompts, “so what will you to be having?” He suspects that his lovely mechanic would resort to ordering something health-conscious and wise while, his haphazard agent would opt for something bathed in grease. His topaz orbs linger with considerable interest upon them.

Bonnie and Michael both had the misfortune of locking each other in the cross-hairs of their gazes when they went to answer. Immediately, they both allow their eyes to falter downwards.

“Well? We don’t exactly have all day.” Devon prods. He was beginning to suspect that something is amiss. They had been getting along so splendidly the other day and now they could barely stand to look at each other.

“Go ahead, Michael.” Bonnie coolly states, in an effort to take some of the pressure off of herself.

Under his breath, he bitterly grumbles, “why don’t you just tell me what I’m allowed to have and what I’m not.” He thinks that it is said in a soft enough tone that it wouldn’t be audible over the other lively conversations around them but it’s not. She always criticized his choices. Particularly, when they came to food and women.

Bonnie’s menu flops down onto the table with a click. “What is that supposed to mean?!” It was her turn to have confusion and offense tattooed to her countenance. Honestly. She can’t even believe he said that!

Small sparks of repentance flicker through his gaze but are quickly snuffed out to something colder than ash. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “Well, its just that you...” The unfinished accusation sits like bricks in his tone. Catching a peripheral view of Devon, whose face clearly bespoke disapproval, he recants. “It’s nothing.” Like an admonished child he ducks behind the cover of his menu and he dwells there for several minutes in silence. “Guess, the double cheeseburger looks good.”

“Nothing?” Bonnie prods, not fully willing to let it go. “Michael, if it was nothing you wouldn’t have mentioned it. And now, I want to know.” Want definitely was not a strong enough term.

The curly-haired agent’s menu is dropped beside her discarded one and he leans across the table. His hands fold together like a shuffled deck of cards. “Well, you apparently know what’s best for me. What was it you said a while back, you anticipate my every need?” Every yearning but one. The most important one. The one that revolved around her. “And everythin’ I tend to order is considered junk or trash.” He doesn’t even remember where the hell he was going with his statements so he abruptly ceases. In the undercurrent of his discourse lay a deeper meaning. One he had tried to impart to her that morning. But it lodges stubbornly and quite painfully somewhere inside of him. It changes form and escapes as an unintentionally harsh rebuke that he immediately wishes he could erase.

Her words had been taken so far out of context it was hard to piece them back together. Where was all this coming from? She is so taken aback by his commentary all she can do is glower. In a low grievous tone, she quips, “it’s none of my business if you want to poison yourself.”

In that instant, Devon’s suspicions were confirmed. Something had gone on between them since they had parted ways. Whatever it was, it didn’t appear to be good. Astonished by the cruelty of their banter and wishing to save face for both of them Devon interrupts. “Yes. Well, to each their own. I’m sure you’ll both make the appropriate selections.” He only gives a pause long enough for their orders to be placed with the waitress before directing their attention back to the case. “About Kent Stevens...”

[hitchell-mope]

(Second film. At cotillion. Part three. After Mal’s been pulled into the water by huma)

Ben: where is she I can’t see her?

Carlos: how long can she hold her breath

Jay: I. I don’t know

Ben: not long.

Evie: what?

Ben: our first date. She thought I drowned. Went in after me and

Jay: you saved her. I remember. Now we gotta save her again.

Ben: I know to oh boy

(Just then the water bubbles furiously and Uma rises from the surface the lower half of her body octopoid and at least the same height as Ursula was during her final battle, perched on her should is Harry. And bound in a tentacle, barely conscious is...)

Ben: MAL!

Doug: Uma stop this now! You’re acting crazy!

Uma (voice booming): oh no dear. Spiteful vindictive

Harry (having the absolute best time of his life): INCREDIBLY LARGE!

Huma: but never crazy!

Uma: now on to business

(She drops Mal into the ocean and begins trying to capsize the boat)

Elsa: time to put that rusty old wand of yours to work headmistress. Children! Jay Evie Jane Ben. With me

Jane: what’re we doing

Elsa: we’re going to stop this boat from becoming the second titanic. On three. 1...2...3!!!!

(They’re eyes all glow and the boat steadies)

Evie: how the

Elsa: the beauty of a crisis. Now Ben. I assume you’re about to do something heroic and foolhardy

Ben: probably

Elsa: try and make sure that nobody gets hurt.

Ben: of course. I might have a plan. Doug is Agrabahn silk shrinkable

Evie (sternly) and Doug: yes

Ben: ah. Ok then how about this

(A flick of his wrist and he’s back in his vk outfit with a few small differences)

Evie: what happened to the jacket

Doug (tired dad mode): and the undershirt

Ben: they’d weigh me down. Jay could you hold this please?

(He hands Jay the crown)

Jay: sure but oh jeez (Ben’s jogging to the railing) wait wait wait

Ben: yes yes yes?

Jay: first of all stop that. Second of all. Here (he summons Maleficent’s sceptre our of thin air and hands it to Ben). Take this. It should help her

Ben: thank you so much woah head rush. Ahem woozy. Hm. All better now

Jay: yeah that’s because it recognises your magic but not you

Ben: I love being a hybrid

Adam: a WHAT?!?!?!

(Ben uses telekinesis to shove his father out of the way into the corridor)

Ben: blow it out your ass dad. Wish us luck. Imma coming honey!

(He launches himself over the side and into the water. Just barely missing Uma’s tentacles)

Doug: his magic will protect him right

Jay: possibly. If not. Hope you like the throne

Carlos (hitting his arm): not funny.

Jay: sorry

Doug: genies can breathe underwater right?

Jay: yes

Doug: Ben has five minutes. Then you’re going in after them

Jay (phoney British accent): as you command. My liege

(Under the water Ben’s swimming to Mal who’s sinking fast. He keeps dodging Uma’s tentacles. Finally he reaches Mal and put her mothers sceptre within arms reach. The moment it touches her hand her eyes open)

(Back on the ship)

Elsa: can anyone see them and Dizzy please stop throwing canapés at Uma

Dizzy (conspicuously giving Merida the food): it was Merida (innocent giggle)

Elsa: remember that I have a younger sister.

Doug: Hook seems to be having some sort of religious experience up there

Evie: yeah. He sorta reminds of someone

Devie (looking at each other in recognition): Troy McClure

(The waters bubbling again)

Jay: come on guys. Come on. Don’t let her win. Not like this

(Ben and Mal come shooting out of water. Mal’s now a dragon. Ben’s perched on her back laughing and shrieking his head off)

Ben (at the top of his lungs): WAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!! MY GIRLFRIEND’S A DRAGON!!!!

Devie: donkey from shrek

(Mal climbs further up into the sky. Ben slips. And falls off her).

Harry: He not gonna make is he?

(Ben plummets through the clouds but pulls up out of it just barely skimming the water)

Harry (fed up): of course he did

(Ben shoots up into the sky. His clothes melt away. From blue and gold to green. He lands on the railing still sopping wet. Now clad in green skelton leaf)

Ben (at the top of his lungs): COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!!!! (He strikes a power pose, fists on hips and turns to the others on the boat) that was amazing!

Jay (laughing): wow. You look

Carlos: like Pan.

Evie: HAHA! Harry’s in the drink. Again. (She cackles)

(Harry’s fainted dead away off Uma’s shoulder and crashed into the waves below)

Evie: lets boil him

Jay and Doug: no

Evie, Carlos and Dizzy: aww man

Ben: alrighty then. Anyway.

(He flies up to the girls and puts himself between them)

Ben: This isn’t the way. Both of you know that letting whatever happened years ago influence your actions today won’t solve anything. The best thing to do is to keep moving forward and

Uma: back off flyboy

(She swats Ben away and he gets knocked into a pole)

Uma: c’mon Mal let’s finish this once and for all

(Cecealia vs dragon fight begins)

Evie: and that only took twenty minutes to happen

Carlos: yeah. I woulda thought it’d happen the moment ma turned up not dead

Devie, Jay and Dizzy: yeah

Lonnie: we have to help him

Evie: right. Jay get a ladder. I’ll climb up

Lonnie: no. Not Ben. He’s fine. Look

(Ben’s currently trying to help Mal. Setting up shield after shield against Uma’s tentacles)

Lonnie: I meant the other one

Evie: no.

Jane: we should at least try. It’s the right thing to do

Doug: usually is be inclined to agree but you’ve not seen him in action

Carlos: I say we let it drown

Devie: ditto.

Jay: we’ve gotta fish it-him-out.

Carlos: why?

Jay: because if we wanna get Uma on side then the mollusk has to live. No matter how much he deserves to be lost to the depth

Carlos: I hate it when you’re right

Gil (Boyce quivering): please. Please don’t let him die. Please?

(Carlos looks at Gil stony faced. And relents)

Carlos: have it on record that I WILL stab him at the first opportunity. No matter how much the human golden retriever begs

Jay: so you’re not against Evie and I fishing him out

Carlos: against as in anti harry? Yes. Against you doing what’s gotta be done. Reluctantly no

Jay: love ya C

Carlos (giggling): you are now officially out of the doghouse.

Jay: Melody could you?

Melody (now in a lovely ice blue crystalline dress courtesy of Elsa): yes?

Jay: wow nice threads. Anyway. I have it on good authority that you carry around a certain family heirloom?

Melody: Ja

Jay: don’t know what that means. I’m not danish.

Melody: yes I’ve got my grandfathers trident. So I can help you however you want

Adam: miss Boisen I absolutely forbid you help them

Melody: I do not take orders from you Adam. Never have. Never will. Because I am not part of your staff. I am a student teacher. I am my sisters assistant until such time she graduates. But I am not your employee. So yeah. I’m helping my students. Jay. What do you need

Jay (massive grin on his face): we’re going squid fishing

Melody: where do I aim?

(She juts our her hand and the trident spears)

(At the buffet table)

Vision!Harry: sup losers

V!Ben: oh fuck off you no handed blunder

V!Harry: two hands. Numbnuts

V!Ben: keep talking. See what happens. I would love to dismantle you like a Lego Death Star and immolate your bones with you skin still on them

V!Harry: and the bitch says Uma means nothing to her

V!Ben: no. It’s the island Mal doesn’t care about. If Uma meant nothing to Mal. I’d still be jay.

V!Lonnie: ok I’m completely lost

V!Doug: we change when the closest person to our one changed. I used to be Evie. Tall ghostly pale and terrifying used to be Gil. And our “esteemed” leader. Used to be jay.

V!Carlos (smugly): I’ve always been like this

The other soul guides (sans Lonnie): yippee for you

(V!Carlos smiles indulgently)

(Back to the action at the railing)

Jay: so you’re sure you know how to do this without killing Uma?

Melody: oh my friend. With a fun and grin it works fine

Jay: what

Melody: yes. Yes I do know how to do this without hurting my second cousin

Jay: I’m sorry. Did you say second cousin?

Melody: yes. Ursula is my mother’s aunt. That makes Uma and my mother cousins. That makes her and I second cousins.

Jay: I am so sorry

Melody: why would you be sorry? So I’m related to a villain and her daughter. So is Ben. So are you and your little found family. Let’s help your friends.

(She throws the trident in Uma’s direction and it nicks the tentacle that was about to knock Ben out of the sky. Uma bellows in pain)

Uma: WHO DID THAT

Melody: hey! Hey you! Giant scary girl! Listen to. Ben. Or you know, me. Either one will do so

Jay (aside to her): not helping

Melody: yeah thought not

Jay: ok here’s what we’re going to do. Evie. Carlos. Fish the creature from the black lagoon out of the drink. I’m gonna help Ben.

(With that he flies up to where Ben is)

Jay: hey buddy. Need a little help?

Ben (still desperately dodging the tentacles): yes please

Jay: then grab a tentacle

Ben (scandalised): what?

Jay: you heard me. If we don’t do this then the student body will be a human interest story on the news tomorrow morning

Ben: ok

(They dive down and grab one of Uma’s tentacles. Below them in the water Harry’s screaming at them to let her go. Uma for her part does a good job of fighting them off. Mal just hovers there confused)

Jay: and lift

Ben: oh dear

(They fly upwards past Mal and drag Uma along for the ride. Harry grabs on to a tentacle and refuses to let go. But then he slips and lands painfully on the railing)

Carlos: finally. The Hook family line has ended

Harry: I HAVE TWO SISTERS

Carlos: who the fuck cares! Lonnie. Doug. Would you be dears and drags that on to the deck. I’ll get the carving knife

Doug: should we

Lonnie: quiet I don’t think we’re allowed to talk

(They deposit Harry in the deck and Carlos stands over him knife in hand)

Carlos: what do you want me to do Jay!

Jay: keep him there. And E! Keep those force fields up. Otherwise the first thirty rows WILL get wet

Evie: what are you gonna do?

Jay: this (to Ben) DROP HER

(The king and the genie let Uma fall into the water and the impart would’ve reflooded the deck if not for the shields. Unfortunately. This only serves to make Uma mad again. And she channels this anger by ensnaring Ben in her tentacles slowly choking the life out of the king. Jay’s had enough. His body assumes its golden lustre and he flies up into Uma’s face)

Jay: THAT. IS. ENOUGH. YOU KNOW THIS ISNT THE WAY. YOU KNOW THIS WILL ONLY SERVE TO FURTHET ALIENATE YOU. IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE YOU NEED TO STOP ACTING LIKE A PETULANT CHILD AND START PLAYING THE GAME RIGHT. OTHERWISE IT WILL BE JUST YOU AND THAT THING THAT IS SPEWING TWICE SWALLOWED SEA WATER ON EVIES MANOLOS LEFT ON THE ISLAND TO ROT

(On the deck Evie jumps out of Harry’s range)

Jay: SO WHAT IS IT GOING TO BE. A TANTRUM OR ARE YOU GOING TO USE THE BRAINS I KNOW YOU HAVE

(Uma’s face silently crumples. She (surprisingly gently) puts Ben back on deck, soaked to the bone and retching slightly from the choking but none the worse for wear, plucks up Harry and swiftly disappears beneath the waves leaving Ben’s ring behind)

Jay: well. That was surprisingly easily handled

(He flies down to the deck and hands Ben back his crown. Mal flaps back down, purple and green smoke surrounds her and she’s back in human form, except her hair’s undone, her dress is purple green and black and she’s holding the sceptre in her right hand. She smiles weakly at the crowd. The promptly spins around and vomits over the side. Loudly. For two full minutes. Jay rushes over to her)

Jay: hey you. Now. I got you a cap of mouth wash. And a breath mint. There you go. Now. (Loud whisper) a dragon. A giant fire breathing scaly ass mother fu

Mal (taking his face in her hands gently to shit him up): I know. I know.

Jay: how?

Mal: that I don’t know

Jay: oooh the sceptre.

Mal: that’s probably

Jay: now. The king awaits. Shall we?

Mal: we shall

(They walk down the stairs to where the series is. She and Ben smile at each other. Then he scoops get up and plants one on her. Carlos, not one to be outdone, scurries over to Jay, dips him and plants a longer one in him. Which gathers an even bigger cheer from the crowd. Especially Gil who can be heard over the others)

Doug: it’s about damn time.

Mal: hey jay. Stop by my room later. We gotta talk

Jay: well let’s see have you talked with Doug yet?

Doug: no. No she has not

Jay: you first then me. Capiche?

Mal: capiche

(On the chaperones platform Fairy Godmother is tight lipped)

Elsa: they’re teenagers headmistress. They will kiss.

Fairy Godmother: oh it’s not that your majesty. I can smell something unpleasant

Elsa (sniffing): you know what. I can too

Merida: it’s rotten skeleton leaves. What our dear little boy king is wearing.

Elsa: Oh. Queen Mother. Your turn

Belle: Ben?

(Ben doesn’t answer, he’s still looking at Mal in reverence, until Mal clears her throat and cocks her head to Belle’s location)

Mal: it seems that your clothes are rotting away dear.

Ben: is everything

Mal: oh yeah. But your shoulders are exposed

Ben: right. Ummmm. Wait right here

(He teleports to his mothers side. When the smoke clears he’s back in his vk outfit. Still without the beanie jacket or undershirt)

Ben: better?

Mal: ooooh so much better

Belle: the tuxedo was so much more

Evie: don’t worry Belle. The silk used is shrinkable. So this is preferable.

Belle: ah. Ok. Now Ben. I and the others adults are going to the yachts bar. Lumiere is going to be here as damage control. But you are in charge. Understand?

(Ben nods emphatically. The four women turn to go but Mal catches up with them before they leave)

Mal: Fairy Godmother. Do you think I could get my spell book back from the museum? Tomorrow I mean. Only that the last few days did a number on me and made me realise I can’t not use what I have. It’s not healthy and it’s not right. Is any of this making any sense to you at all?

Fairy Godmother: of course dear. It’s your property after all. Just say the word and it’s yours

Mal: please?

Fairy Godmother: where would you like it to be?

Mal: Jay’s room. Bedside cabinet. With a protection spell on it so only Ben and I can use it. Because. I have helluva lot to teach him

Ben: I very much look forward to learning from you

Mal: and. I’m sure Ben would agree. Magic classes. For those that want them. I know I would. No. I know that I need to learn more control WOAH!

(Ben’s scooped her up in a bear hug)

Mal: I take it you like that idea

Doug: when you were >ahem< out for the count Ben decided that it was time that magic be fully reinstated

Mal: I LOVE THIS BOY

Belle: I can see that the kingdom will be in very safe hands with you two and you are on his back

(Mal’s clambered onto Ben’s back and she’s stroking his hair away from his face)

Elsa: Queen Mother. I believe this is our exit cue

Merida: aw but I wanna dance

Elsa: the bar has Guinness whiskey

Merida: PEACE FECKERS

(She runs off)

Belle: that was easily handled

(As they’re leaving)

Belle: Verna could you get me the family lawyer please

Verna: of course ma’am. Uhhhh. Heh heh. What for?

Belle: I need to see mr Hartcourt about divorcing Adam and adopting that young man

Elsa: Gil? You want to adopt Gil?

Belle: yes. Problem?

Elsa: none whatsoever. In fact I’ve got an idea I’d like to run through with Ben. When the cotillion is over tomorrow of course

Belle: I assure you your majesty you shall have the full unwavering support of my son and I

Elsa: god save the king and his mother then

Belle: indeed

(Back at the cotillion)

Carlos: alright. ALRIGHT! Everyone. The ones of the hour. My parents! King Ben. Lady Mal. Take it away old man

Ben (laughing): I’m only two years older than you C

Carlos (a “I’m cute so I can get away with it” look on his face): still older

Mal (chuckles as she tilts Ben’s crown): I think what Carlos is trying to is: let’s party

(She uses magic to levitate the electronic equipment above the deck and they all start dancing)

(This is when “it’s time” happens)