#whatever whatever doesnt matter its done and im satisfied with it

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

world's longest staring contest GO-

[etherealkissed88]

assume it done now, not in the future . • °

never wait or forget to assume u are ALREADY the desired version of urself in the NOW. dont think/assume: "ill buy this AFTER i manifest $1000" or "they would be crushing on me WHEN i get my glow up".

dont forget that the goal is to assume it NOW.

there is only the present and your job is to always claim your desire as done in the NOW.

DO NOT think/visualize from (embody/assume) the state of “waiting” for it!

DO NOT identify w the version of you who is not already experiencing it!

when you think about a desire, immediately see the world/think as the one who has it already. if not, (if you immediately think of it as the person who is waiting for it), dont stress, just shift into the state/embody the one who has it NOW. you manifest who you choose to be so thoughts never matter because they are part of the 3d, therefore they are always neutral. there is only the present so if you thought “im waiting until i get my sp to do this” 5 seconds ago, it doesnt matter because your job is to be the one who has it NOW. if you think about that thought you had 5 seconds ago, you are thinking about it in the NOW. there is only the NOW/the PRESENT. focus on getting into the state of having it already in the present moment. dont focus on what you thought of / assumed in the “past” because it has no effect on you unless you assume it does.

you are not making a mental list of things you want to manifest for the future, you are checking off the list the MOMENT you make the list!

do not be in the state of waiting for it. waiting for what when the only source of power is you? fulfill yourself the moment you want it. now you no longer want it, now you have/are it!

YOU DESIRE YOUR IDEAL BODY (as an example)

you go to the store and assume “when i get my ideal body, i will fit in all these clothes”

you stop and realize that by accepting / identifying with this assumption, you are voluntary being in the state of not having your ideal body yet and therefore, waiting for it.

since youre educated on the law now, you know that your job is to assume/know its done now! so you decide not to accept that previous assumption that implied youre waiting. you instead decide to shift into the mindset of person who already has their desired body.

what would they think? what would they do? how would they act? how would people treat them? how would they see the world? BE that person in IMAGINATION. visualize, affirm, do inner convos, use whatever technique you want to experience it in imagination. do it to satisfy yourself without worrying about the 3d. remove the 3d from the equation and focus on feeling good as you experience having your desire.

you imagine doing exactly what you wanted: buying pretty clothes from the store because you already have your desired body; feeling confident and free in your body and having fun trying out clothes and paying for them. once you are satisfied from imagining yourself confidently buying your perfect clothes to match your perfect body, you walk out of the store satisfied because you know you already have your desired body since you just experienced it and fulfilled yourself.

you didnt need to buy clothes in the 3d, you didnt need to physically walk in the store with confidence. you dont need to take any action in the 3d. you just need to know its done and fulfilled in imagination. once you are fulfilled, you will notice that nothing in the 3d matters because you really do feel that its done.

later on, you continue to embody the version of you who has that desired body. you imagine walking in school with those pretty clothes on your perfect body while your friends compliment you; this makes you feel confident in your body. you continue to be satisfied with this feeling, with this knowing.

make it yours instantly. assume it done NOW! manifestation is not a process, its a choice. you always choose to BE some version of you in the now. if you are waiting, its simply because you are being the version of you who is waiting. notice how you are always BEING a version of you? so assume it NOW, not in the future. there is no time like the PRESENT.

kisses, jani𖥔

[8uny]

posting something from my private notes here for fun

let me talk about something mildly interesting for once. you know what they say, about escape room design?

the best customer expierence in an escape room, is to get out right when it's down to the wire. it's disappointing if you don't get out in time. it's also disappointing if you get out with too much time left. the sweet spot, the ideal expierence, exists in that fine line of 'difficult victory', the last second. and designing a room, you try and build these puzzles to achieve that spot

theres other things that go into it, like "delivering what you requested, and then more" (which ive talked about it terms of storytelling before) via things like puzzles or set pieces being multipurpose (whether used in multiple puzzles, has a puzzle element and a story element, is a set of something you could assume is just decoration but has practical purposes) or the room itself (secret extra hidden rooms, or in general the space revealing 'more' as you go) and the puzzles themselves, when they feel diagetic to a story and fair

but since you know im on that kick, i was thinking of this philosphy in regards to murder mysteries

a story that asks to be solved is not good if the solution is too easy or if the solution isnt even possible to get until the very end, or doesnt resolve in a way that makes sense

and ive been thinking a lot recently, about what makes a mystery satisfying. what makes it feel fair. ive also been thinking about this in regards to umineko (am on ep6), because while it's easy to come with plausible explanations for the murders, they aren't "satisfying" enough because just because something is logically sound and plausible doesn't mean it feels like it makes sense for a character to do something so stupid and crazy

ive also been thinking of Death On The Nile and how i felt while reading it, how i guessed my culprit and how the events of the story are paced and characters presented so even though i did guess right pretty early, i was still confused and on the edge for most of the book

anyways, my thoughts on what makes a puzzle/mystery/whatever feel fair:

-things cant just happen because 'id be exciting to read a mystery about it', everything has to feel right. everyone's course of action has to be what they, in character, would immediately decide to do first choice. if something feels like 'a stretch' it will not feel satisfying

that's the bridge between "it's plausible it could have happened this way" and "I know this happened, because it is in line with what that character would have done."

this is hard for me to put into words, but it's like the same reason why miscommunication plots are a pain to watch, or if something has to happen to make the story more dramatic, even if its not really what the character would do doesn't sit right. The mystery exists in service of the characters, not of the author.

it can be a "stretch" with how information is acquired, and im willing to even have a little give on things like physics, but its real unsatisfying when some crazy batshit thing happens and you ask the killer "WHY?!?!?" and even if the "how" was clever and fun, if they dont really have a good reason for it beyond the story thought it would be fun it feels a bit unfulfilling.

-you cant lie about the question. a good mystery doesn't hide.

i think this was the most frustrating thing about after party season 1 for me, and some other mysteries. when the camera and the story call to attention some big mystery or inconsistency or unsolved bit of information asking for you to pay attention and care about and invest thought and energy into it and……… it doesn't matter.

and this is where agatha christie and umineko make me very happy. like death of the nile will constantly bring up the key inconsistent impossibility in the evidence and say this is important. this one thing doesn't make sense right now, but if we know the killer, it will. hercule will find a clue and repeat that it's important and we just don't understand it yet, so we have the chance to think about why. and umineko is ALL about that. umineko smushes your face in its biggest questions it wants you to focus on and solve and begs with you to try. the afterparty s1 will spend lots of time being like "whooooo shot this mysterriiousss arrow at someone?!? whyyyy was there a WIG found near the body?!?!" and then go lol it didnt mean anything and could be completely removed and not effect the mystery.

A good mystery is confident in itself, and doesn't need to hide and or try to be unnoticed because its afraid its too easy, because its afraid if you pay attention it'll be solved. it's a challenge, it gives you the CHANCE to think and try to answer before presenting the solution. and more than that, its real shitty to dedicate time to answering questions that dont matter.

thats not saying you cant have red herrings but the core of a mystery is being rewarded for investing energy into something, getting that "payoff" that "ahhhhh i see!" and if you have something REALLY COOL you should want people to invest energy into it!! you should hold it up and be like "you better care about this, because when it all makes sense, itll feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOL!" and why its painful when you hold up things as distraction, and people care about the wrong thing, then feel kind of bleghh when they didnt get a so cool because it turns out the story didnt give a shit in the end either

oh god im typing a lot and i think ive said some of this stuff before but its been circling my head for months now and its nice to try and get it all in one go

but i've been trying to analyze how mysteries make me feel while im reading them. what choices make me think what ways, and what feels satisfying and clever and what feels frustrating and pointless

i could also point to knox's decalouge but i feel like thats common sense

[cinefairy]

MANIFESTING REVAMP !

this is gonna be a pt 2 basically of this post if you haven’t already go check it out!!

okay so this post is gonna be strictly on law of assumption and evolving into a better mindset.

- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - ∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘

LAW OF ASSUMPTION 101

what is law of assumption?

law of assumption is an everyday thing, without even knowing we assume things into our reality (apart from trauma/abuse). now that you have discovered the depth of law of assumption you can now create the life you truly wanna live, i have done it and so many others have. the basics of law of assumption: WHATEVER YOU WANT, ASSUME YOU HAVE IT, PERSIST THAT YOU HAVE IT. that is truly it, and yes it is that simple.

if it’s truly that simple, then why do people use methods?

great question! people use methods to help them align with their desires, for example someone might use subliminals. they believe that using subliminals will help them manifest, but the issue with methods is that they dont work unless YOU BELIEVE THEY WORK! not to mention you can use subliminals for 2 years and get no results and you wanna know why? its because of YOUR MINDSET. if you truly believe that you’re a failure, stupid, ugly. a subliminal can only do so little. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO EVERYTHING.

how to actually apply law of assumption?

its very easy, trust me! i get we struggle from time to time but realise your inner ability to overcome any obstacle. use the law everyday intentionally. how? okay, lets say i want my teacher to not come into school today, i want a cool subsitute instead. i will use any “method” to help me!

• visualising

pretty self explantory; you visualise what you want. people say you have to visualise “clearly” and your visualisation cant be blurry, this is OBVIOUSLY FALSE. your visualisation can be blurry asf. you can get what you want anyhow

• commanding your subconscious

commanding your subconscious..again self explanatory; you say “subconscious..i have (blah blah) or anyway you want to address your subconscious. again, your subconscious is YOU. its personalised to you and knows exactly what you want so please dont ever stress “what if my subconscious thinks this instead..” that cant ever happen..literally.

• affirming

affirming! everyone does it, just affirm that whatever you want is either already here, its coming/on its way. it doesnt matter how you affirm literally, and it doesnt matter what affirmation u use. no you don’t have to repeat affirmations, people just like to. you can say any affirmation you like.

• scripting

scripting is soo fun and if you’re artistic or like to get involved in reading/writing this method is for you. its so freeing and fun, just WRITE! write whatever you want, write how you magically found a £100 note on the floor in your diary. write your life like a story and deeply fall in love and assume that its already here

• my personal method

heres how i manifest (sometimes) so if im feeling worried/anxious or i procrasinate too much about a certain manifestation. i rant either in my head or on my notes phone app. after that i chill for a couple of moments and i turn over a new leaf. i start affirming for what i actually do what and i write in my notes app like it’s actually happened. im in the state of wish fulfilled and i feel satisfied. i mean..it’s already here, why should i worry?

theres so many methods, these are just a few i picked out!

- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - ∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘

omg..i overconsumed too much information, im struggling and procrastinating, what do i do?

we’ve all been there! dont worry. heres what to do

• REALISE THAT YOU ARE THE GOD OF YOUR REALITY, AND STEP INTO THE KNOWING THAT YOU ARE GOD.

• SLOW DOWN/LIMIT/UNFOLLOW the people who you follow, instead of following loa blogs/pages follow accounts that are similar to what you’re manifesting.

• SIMPLIFY THE LAW! dont make it worse for you and dont make it confusing for you.

thats all!

“i’ve been affirming for … days/weeks/whatever and its still not here?? what am i doing wrong”

i understand your frustration. i get asks like this all the time and i need you guys to understand that you have the power on how quickly or slowly your manifestation comes to you. when i get asks like this, it gives me the feeling that you guys are in the “waiting period” when there is no “waiting period” there is only this moment right now.

AND STOP PUTTING A HAULT ON YOUR LIFE CUS OF YOUR MANIFESTATION!!! please i cannot stress this enough interact with people, have fun, go to parties, do your homework dont put a stop on life for your manifestation. no, you do not need to affirm 24/7 this is not a JOB live LIFE!!!

- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - ∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘

“i want to stop procrastinating, i want to finally have my desires and manifest my dream life”

and i want the same for you too! and its POSSIBLE. honestly. it really is all possible, do not compare yourself to other people and their manifestations, you are YOU. and you will get your manifestation.

SELF CONCEPT

i cant stress enough how important self concept is. its the key to everything ive made a post on it here. but i’ll say it again! with self concept you’re stable. you do not switch up, you’re consistent and more confident with yourself. dont know where to get started? dw. start off with these affs. (both manifesting + confidence affs)

[♡] manifesting has always been so easy for me.

[♡] i never have any doubts or limitations, i am a master manifestor.

[♡] i never struggle with anything nor do i blame and bully myself. i treat myself with kindness and respect

[♡] i love who i am becoming, i love who i am, i love everything about myself

[♡] i manifest everything i want within seconds

[♡] the 3D automatically conforms to my desires

[♡] its so exhausting being so amazing and pretty..and also smart!

[♡] i am flawless in every aspect of my life, literally home life, school life, relationships and more

[♡] life has become more enjoyable for me

[♡] i am living my dream life.. im so happy. i love how everything is rn.

NOW..THATS IT! DON’T EVER LOOK BACK. KEEP ON PERSISTING

trust me, you can do it. you’re so amazing and i cant wait for you to actually see it one day, for you to still be here after you went through hell and back. after you’ve endured such difficult times and you’re still here??? thats amazing. give yourself a pat on the back. you’re a god now, and you can create your entire life. you really can!!! if i can do it, so can you. so now. TELL YOURSELF THIS:

I AM THE CREATOR OF MY REALITY, I CAN CHANGE MY REALITY IN A SPLIT SECOND, IM BECOMING THE PERSON I WANT TO BE AND NOTHING IS STOPPING ME. I AM PERFECT, I AM DIVINE, I AM SPECIAL.

thats it my loves. <333

[words-for-holland]

Always Yours

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Sometimes dating a celebrity is hard...but Tom & Y/N have always said no matter what happens they could get through anything. Some angst but a lot of fluff.

A/N: So sorry for leaving yall hanging! Life is just crazy right now and this blog needs a lot of TLC tbh!! Also ehh I def dont think this was my best work but enjoy?

“Oof” Y/N lets out as she plops on to her boyfriend who was lying comfortable on the couch. Tom groaned at the impact with a cheeky smile on his face, his arms instantly wrapping around Y/N’s frame.

“Y’know..there are empty seats right there.” The soft brown-eyed boy gestured with the flick of his thick head as Y/N raises her eyes looking down at him, pretending to be slightly offended.

“Oh I see how it is then. It’s cool...Ill just cuddle with Tessa instead. I know she would welcome me with open arms instead of—” As she slowly starts getting off his chest, Tom is quick to pull her back in, securing her with his strong arms. “No baby, I was just kidding. I want you right here, and Im never letting you go.” he pleas.

The only thing Y/N could manage was letting out a fit of giggles into his chest, a sound that Tom adored and would do absolutely anything to hear every minute of every day. They stay like this for a while enjoying the feeling of each other as they both run their hands into each others hair, the feeling of their chests moving up and down, the subtle thumps of their heartbeats, and the little slips of adoration that came out of their mouths. It was peaceful. A moment that nobody could really take a way because it was theirs.

Y/N casually pulls up her phone, and scrolls through Twitter when she noticed a particular tweet on her timeline. Her eyebrows furrow, as she read the 160 character message.

Why Tom Holland Should Be With Aaliyah Cole and Dump Y/N: A Thread.

She knew it wasnt a good idea to open up the thread. She knew very well that everything within the shallow string of tweets would be a complete waste of her time because it was made up by fans who just wanted to satisfy their fantasy of shipping Tom with his co-star. Who can blame them? They always had great chemistry, but it was part of the job and thats all it would ever be.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Tom murmurs, as he places soft kisses at the crown of her head. “Whats going on?” She was lucky her phone was facing away from Tom, quickly closing the app and pretending to be on one of her many tabs in Safari.

“Mmm..nothing.” Y/N lies softly, a tight-lipped smiled plastered on her face.

“Absolute bullocks. Youre not a very good liar.” He chuckles. “Tell me darling. Whats on your mind?”

Y/N rolls her eyes in response. She’s heard that comment one too many times in her life from everyone shes known. After not giving it much thought, she gives in, sighing heavily. “Dont judge me for what Im about to say.”

“Mmm...I think it might depend on wha— Ow” Tom reacts as he playfully rubs the side of his chest that Y/N hit. “Okay too soon for jokes. Go on.”

Again, Y/N sighs as she props herself up. “Its just ... well a lot of your fans keeps talking about wanting you to get with Aaliyah.” She looks down trying not to make eye contact with Tom, who she’d imagine was looking at her with annoyance.

Tom rolls his eyes at the ridiculousness. Not so much at Y/N but the fact that some of his fans just didnt want to accept the fact that he was happy with Y/N. If it had to come from his mouth to stop the stupid rumors and give his girlfriend peace, then hed gladly yell it from the rooftops for everyone to hear. “Thats it Im making a statement about it.”

Y/N’s eyes widen in fear, scrambling to prevent him from grabbing his phone on the table next him. “No no no no.” She repeatedly declines. “You’ll only make it worse.”

“Darling, Im not going to stand here and watch you get all insecure because of their delusional ship.”

“Yeah well Im not gonna be the reason your fans hate me because Im getting in the way of your friendship with Aaliyah Cole.” She fires back.

Tom was ready to open his mouth only to be cut off once again. “And you know better. That is how your fans will always see it.”

“Okay, are you done?” He calmly asked, cautiously observing her. Rarely did Y/N ever get worked up about anything, but when she had her tangents, Tom always made sure she got off everything she needed to say before he becomes her voice of reason.

“Yeah, I guess.” she says feeling defeated. “Look its whatever and Im tired, can we just let this go and forget this whole conversation even happened?”

Tom was unconvinced, but didnt want to push her further. So reluctantly, he gave in and wrapped his arms around Y/N as they both tried to lull themselves to sleep.

***

Y/N wasnt sure how she ended up in the Tube. It was strange how the lights flickered off the rusted tile floor. The train was no where to be seen, but off to the side of the railroads was pitch black, she could hardly see beyond. To her right she noticed herself standing in the corner of the room, and to her surprise Aaliyah was there. Her milk chocolate kissed skin, and fashionably long frizzy hair dropped down past her shoulders. Her figure long and poised, as she wore a rain jacket and sweats. An outfit only she could pull off and make it look like she was a model for Vogue. Aasliyah smiles brightly at Y/N.

“Hey Y/N.” She says cheerfully as a genuine friend would.

To Y/N’s surprise she greeted her back in the same tone. “Hey Aaliyah...uhh whats going on?” Y/N wasnt sure if she wanted the answer of how they both ended up in the Tube or if she truly wanted to know how her day went.

“Well Im getting ready to present at the Oscars.” She replies, a smile plastered as if she was so excited about it, almost too excited like she was keeping a secret.

“Really? Oh my god, that’s amazing! Im so proud of you Aaliyah! Who are you taking?”

Aaliyah pauses for a few moment looking back and forth, making sure no one else was around. “Okay can you keep a secret?” She whispered.

Y/N nods her head slowly, not having the slightest clue of what was going on. “Im taking Tom. I think he really likes me, and well...I like him too! Do you think maybe I should ask him when we go?” Aaliyah asked genuinely. It was almost like she had no recollection of Y/N and Tom being a couple. “I think we would look good together. Everyone is already making rumors and ships about us.”

Y/N backs aways lowly only to bump into a broad figure. As she turns around she sees Tom, emotionless and almost sad. “Y/N.” He speaks out. “I dont think this is going to work out. Im leaving you.”

Y/N’s heart quickens, and her breaths become shorter as she tries to find a way to run. Running and running into the darkness, until all she could hear was Tom’s faint voice calling out her name.

***

“Y/N! Y/N! Baby wake up please.” Tom cries as he gently shakes his girlfriend from her disturbed sleep.

Quickly Y/N opens her eyes and clutches on to Toms hoodie firmly. Back home, and in Toms arms. It was a dream was all she thought. A sigh of relief escaping from her mouth.

“Darling...” he speaks softly, worried about his girlfriend. “Are you okay?”

Y/N looks up at him and nods frantically. “Mmm..bad dream.”

“Yeah it seemed like it. You were so frightened...I was scared. What happened?” He’s looking at her, trying to read her saddened eyes, wanting to desperately understand what scared her so he could make it all go away for her.

Y/N looks down at her fiddling hands, as she sits on the couch. “I uhh...” she lets out a chuckle, thinking of the ridiculousness of it all. “I uhh...dreamed about Aaliyah going to the oscars and saying how she loved you and how you two are perfect for each other. When I turned around I saw you but you werent happy and said you were leaving me.”

Tom doesnt say a word, all he could think about was how sorry he felt to put Y/N in this position. Though both of them knew, It wasnt Toms fault, or anyone’s for that matter. Feelings are feelings and that was okay. No human being was ever born perfect and without insecurities.

Y/N always tried to be a good sport with situations like this knowing every shippers theory and evidence were hardly ever true, but at some point there was only so much she could take before it all came out like an oil spill. Maybe it was a sign that she wasnt good enough to be with Tom if half of his fanbase thought this way as well.

Tom cradled her into his arms again, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head. “Darling, I know youre still doubting yourself about all of this, but please believe me when I tell you that I love you so so much and no matter what happens...Im always yours.” He whispers gently in her ear. “It was only a dream and these ridiculous rumors and theories are just that. No one woman in the world could ever make me feel the way I feel for you.”

Y/N blinks softly, as she stares into space. Afraid and in a weird way ashamed, its funny how something so small and so minimal could affect her self-esteem so greatly. Tom gently brings her head up, so her eyes can meet his. He rolls his thumb on the bottom of her soft lips. “Hey, I love you.” Tom smiles.

Time stopped for the both of them the moment Y/N looked into his eyes, she felt safe. All the bad words and thoughts slowly disappear. Tom was right, none of the things that anyone said about their relationship mattered. She knew Tom loved her, and how much she truly loved him. Isnt that enough? Of course not. It was more than enough. A smile slowly forming on Y/N’s face. “Theres that smile I love so much.” He comments.

“Im sorry, for being such a —”

“No. Its okay. You have a right to feel the way you did.” He picks up her hand and leaves a gentle kiss.

“I love you so much Tom.” She says pressing her lips to his. “I dont deserve you.”

“Darling, its me that doesnt deserve you. Im always yours.” Tom proclaims as he kisses her back.

[cartoonrival]

im having a really hard time wording this so its gonna be a bit all over the place but stick with me here. i’m uncertain about eret or techno or tubbo being the ones to kill sam, specifically because his death is something that has been a very long time coming, but these grudges are incredibly new. him dying to them does not encompass all the transgressions he needs to pay recompense for, especially considering killing ranboo (who exploded the tnt on top of the prison and got tommy trapped inside) and kidnapping michael (this is bad but its so recent that it still doesnt feel like a proper representation of what he was willing to do for the prison, especially considering he didn’t even end up having to kill him) are Not the worst of his crimes.

honest to god, the only people i would legitimately be satisfied with killing sam are dream, quackity, or ponk. these are characters who, for a long time, have been deeply entwined into sam’s story. ponk, as the person closest to sam and most deeply wronged by him, has brought up sam’s downfall multiple times. ponk is confident it will come about because of karma, a direct result of all the wrong sam has done. so for this karma-wrought downfall to come from people who are barely a part of his story feels rather unsatisfying.

ponk killing sam is clear poetic justice. it will not happen, because ponk doesnt think sam is even worth the effort to bring down the sword. but ponk has been most deeply wronged, and is therefore the person who most deserves to take revenge on him.

do not misunderstand me. me supporting dream killing sam is not because i want him to get revenge for the torture or whatever. i dont care about that. but dream is a symbol of everything that’s gone wrong in his life that turned him into the person he is now (the egg fucked him up but its not the reason he needs to die). dream killing sam is tragic and frustrating. he couldnt stop dream. he couldnt save the server. it was too much. he lost. it hurt. it killed him. and maybe he can finally realize that he’s been going about everything so so wrong, because no matter who he threatened or tortured or killed none of it was worth it, and he died.

quackity killing sam would also be for the sake of tragedy. sam is a tragic character. quackity used to be his friend, his business partner, but now quackity uses him, manipulates him, pushes him into corners. he died for las nevadas, for quackity’s dream, his country, at the hand of someone he loved who did not love him the same. las nevadas and the bank was his passion, but even his partner in that wanted to see him in the ground. and what sort of a legacy does that leave?

also, sam isn’t at his lowest yet. show of hands who saw his post-prison escape stream. he isn’t at his lowest, he won’t learn anything like this. not satisfyingly anyway. he isn’t hated enough. eret still trusted him for gods sake. i suppose its possible this could work because sam hasn’t streamed since the escape so its hard to gauge exactly what his mindset is but unless hes going to backpedal from that stream it does not seem like its time.

edit: or actually everyone can gang up on him and destroy him

[snickerdoodle-0]

Is no one gonna mention how concerning Tubbos character is?

We all understand that from the beginning of the smp hes done everything for other people. The Disk war, Lmanburg, Being a Spy, EVERYTHING he did as President was for the benefit of other people. Still, he was depicted as a gullibe yes-man, his care for people made him easy to manipulate.

As much as Tubbo doesnt express inner emotions openly we can tell by certain mannerisms and quotes that hes been seriously affected by the manipulation, the name calling, the trauma, everything. “Then it doesnt matter, ill be DEAD! Jack Manifold can nuke whatever he wants.” Is concerning enough playing into the idea that he doesnt care anymore whether he lives or dies but the Season 2 Finale stream has alot of things people brushed off.

The painful optimism and apathy to the idea of failure or even death, also Tubbo slowly over time losing reaction to traumatic events or loss

“keep the disc, it’ll be fine! i’ve done enough in my life!” + “it’s alright, we’ve had some laughs, it was- it was fun, while it lasted.”

“Im getting PTSD.haha.......It hurts.” (The it hurts was very quiet but it was there underneath tommy talking)

I could talk for hours on this, I could write essays on each individual line and how every bit of trauma in his life has lead just to those words, But im going to sum it up for you.

The first and second bullet points imply enough at a first glance. Over time hes almost lost the ability to express negative emotion. Comparing the reaction to Tommys first exile and Erets betrayal, to when Techno blew up lmanburg and the very idea they could die at any moment; he doesnt seem to care. Everything piling up with no one to talk to it about hasnt made him lash out, its made him incapable of caring almost entirely.

This more goes for the second bullet point, but im sure weve all discussed how Tubbo is willing to accept death if it means Tommys safety. We have to look deeper, “ive done ENOUGH” sticks out to me the most. Enough doesnt mean happy, ENOUGH doesnt mean satisfied. I may be overanalyzing, but [as sad as it is already] this seems to mean action wise. Tubbo has openly said he seems himself as worse than Schlatt, worse than Wilbur. But the way he says “ENOUGH” implies that he feels hes done enough to hurt people. Enough in life that would be easier for everyone if he payed the price through death. The manipulation got to his head that mistakes he didnt make were all his fault and that hes done enough to hurt people. That he should die. That it would be better for everyone ‘hes hurt’ if he died. Its heartwrenching.

Moving on a bit quickly here, the third bullet point. Tubbo was kind of quiet when he said it, but the fact that the “It hurts.” After he joked about the box ptsd only proves the point that he feels it. Hes hurt by what has happened to him, and hes not just some happy go lucky, optimistic, Naive kid. This enough proves that hes affected by trauma as little as he shows it.

Hopefully Puffy opens her therapy office sometime soon.

[mikoriin]

I want to dissappear from the internet but I also want to start selling commissions for a little back-up-plan money for Reasons... idknoww what to do 😔

thats rough im sorry :((( the internet can be a very stressful place with....literally everything going on all the time haha but i think whats important to do to curate your own online experience is to:

use the sites u actually like and prefer. i use tumblr primarily because i can manage my social media experience the way i want to.

shape your page/timeline/feed/dash into what you want. unfollow people who dont post things you like or even want to see, block people freely even if u just dont agree with something they said in their post or for just rubbing you the wrong way. you control your experience and if you dont like what youre seeing and not enjoying yourself, then u can always find something new or get rid of the things u dont want to see. for me, i dont like using twitter because its got a lot of weirdos on it and then some and i dont like seeing every horrible political event going on at all times. not because i dont care, but because its so much all the time that it gets so draining and overwhelming. with sites like tumblr, you cant necessarily avoid it depending on how big or impactful the news is (i mean ofc, we're a social media site after all) but at least if u dont like seeing a bunch of real world events that upset you then u can always block those tags or posts or unfollow the people who put it on your dash.

remember that the internet is a place to escape. yes it is a place to store information and knowledge, but it is also full of so many wonderous dangers because it is so vast. dont take it too seriously, dont get too invested in things that are out of your control, and i honestly dont think its healthy to be chronically online either. so just remember, be safe, be mindful, and have fun.

if u wanna start some commissions i also have some advice for u there!!

keep posting your content! and make sure you tag it! exposure is the BEST way to get traction and attention.

keep your commission sheet pinned to your blog. its good that its the first thing people see when they visit your page

DO NOT underprice your work!! do not do not!! u are creating something from your mind with your hands and your creativity alone, your art is special and unique no matter your skill level! never charge under $20 for even your most simple art. (ik ik my kofi comms are only $9-$12 but thats different i have a job that brings in steady money haha...and i also am a hypocrite that doesnt value my art enough) but i am SO SERIOUS when i say that every art piece is worth so much! if $15 or $10 makes you more comfortable to charge people then i encourage it, just as long as you dont go below double digits and are getting some money in!

if your commissions are lower than say...$30 or $40 then make sure you get them done in a timely manner. i know im DEFINITELY not one to talk about being quick on commissions, im so slow, but i try to get smaller pieces done first. i dont go by first come first serve, i do what it easiest to me in the moment because i have horrible time management skills thanks adhd but really just do whatever works for u! but from a money and business standpoint, i would try to get the smaller pieces done as fast as you can. bigger pieces have more leeway to take longer.

HAVE BOUNDARIES WITH UR CUSTOMERS! if you are uncomfortable drawing something, say so. decline the commission. its not worth the money if u are bothered by the content, you clearly dont want to make it therefore the art wont be satisfying to you anyway because your hearts not on it. also its better for your mental health. if a customer is being too friendly or too comfortable for you, make sure you keep it business. let them know it is just business. you do not owe anyone your friendship just because theyre giving you money. theyre paying for a service, its just as an other transaction at the store. if they are asking you to draw something youve already stated in a commission sheet that you wont draw, block them. they clearly dont know how to read or respect your boundaries because they asked you for a service you already stated you could not provide. not a good customer, move on.

uhhh i cant rly think of anything else at the moment but i hope this helps!! this has gotten pretty long so ill leave it at this, but also if you genuinely just wanna take a break from the internet to live life and decompress from it all, i say go ahead. do you. do what makes you happy.

[transgenderer]

Land back is asking for more sovereignty in regards to land. Europeans came over and drew a line in the sand and we are trying to play by their rules and get some of our independence back through land ownership. A lot of reservations are situated in places where the land isn't resourceful or has been expended bc it wasn't meant to be settled for generations. All we ask is for governance over more land that we were the original and frankly better stewards of. Just say you don't think indigenous people should have real independence and be done with it

Also federal land is often used to choke and siphon resources from tribes. You're wrong and ignorant and you should either shut up or keep it down. People are trying to save their communities

hmm okay so i was gonna like. try to break down and respond to each piece individually here but i think our differences are not one of minor details but holistic worldview, so im going to try to express what i think your worldview is and then express what my worldview is.

i think, in your worldview, communities, or demographics of people, or historical cultures, or ethnic groups have rights, or moral worth, or whatever, in and of themselves, separate from the rights, desires, etc of the people within those groups, and similarly can be guilty of things as abstract entities, or require justice as abstract entities, etc. and one of the rights of these groups is to a nation-state that it controls, or barring that, lower-level administrative control over members of that ethnicity, etc.

i think this is sort of true, to the extent that this is a thing that people believe, and therefore care about, and therefore would be happy if it was satisfied, but i dont think this is like, *abstractly* true. it is also, imo, the core of ethnonationalist ideology. to be clear i dont think landback people want to commit a genocide, and also it will never happen anyway so it doesnt matter. but i think they are adopting the same ideas as ethnonationalists throughout history. and those ideas are just. not well-formed ideas, good ways of understanding ethics.

i think, to the extent that real indigenous people dont have power over their own lives in the US (a large extent), this is not well-understood as primarily about the disempowerment of the ethnic group (altho it is in large part a *result* of discrimination based on ethnicity. this is a subtle, but imo important distinction), but primarily about poverty, and improving the conditions of indigenous people in the US would best be achieved by giving poor indigenous people (and poor people of every race) money in various forms.

i guess, to attempt to be pithy, i think that *indigenous people* should have independence, but that *tribes* have no particular right to independence, any more than like, any other group with its own culture, like mormons or whatever.

P.S. people often bring up the land stewardship thing and its consistently very strange to me. its utter nonsense. indigenous people arent magic, theyre just people, they dont have some special connection to the land. i guess the steelman is just that indigenous people have a culture more interested in the ecology side of the ecology/prosperity trade-off, and like, i guess, but surely it would make more sense to just like. choose to be more on the ecology side. rather than choosing the ecology side is more important and then...trusting indigneous people to make that choice for you? or you could think that indigenous people have more knoweldge abt ecology than like. ecologists. but you shouldnt think that because its dumb

[etherealkissed88]

Firstly, I love your blog! Second, I feel so bad because I think I'm so ugly (I only like a few things about myself) and not fitting in the standards, so I compare myself very much. What's your advice? It's so hard to feel ugly, like I can't compete..

thank you! - okay you feel ugly. i want you to understand that this feeling is neutral. i want you to know that you are fulfilling yourself with this idea of you not fitting in w the standards.

1. imagine a scene that implies you are beautiful (ppl complimenting you, you staring at urself in the mirror, you telling yourself you cant believe how perfect you look). do whatever technique you want. you can loop the scene/visualization until it feels real to you, it doesnt have to be hd clear quality, i visualize blurry and i still manifest. keep doing this until you feel satisfied in imagination, this is experiencing it so dont imagine it to get something in the 3d (it will reflect in the 3d either way), imagine it to feel good bc why wouldnt you want to be fulfilled in knowing your beautiful?). you can also just simply decide your beautiful regardless of the 3d.

2. once you feel satisfied, know that that is now a fact or you can think about it as a memory. imagination is the real reality right? so what you just imagined (experienced) is a fact. assume it to be true and whenever you think of it, know it done.

3. if you get negative thoughts, insecurities, see circumstances, it is all neutral which means it has no original meaning, it is you who always adds meaning. realize you can choose what everything means or you can choose that it still has no meaning. continue to go back into imagination and know its real.

🎀i used to have the same insecurity, what i did to overcome this is simply assuming that no matter what i feel, i still am exactly how i want to look like. when i would feel insecure, i would go straight into imagination and feel like my ideal self. if i was my ideal self, would i care about a feeling or thought that tells me otherwise? no. bc i know im the operant power and i always choose who to be in imagination. who you are being in imagination always expresses in the 3d so thats exactly what happened: i actually started to naturally feel beautiful and look beautiful in the 3d just like how i did in imagination. this is proof that the 3d never matters and is always neutral.

[corruptedconfessions]

Are you still in the kiri mood? If yes, can you yeet him into this thought: different yanderes (izuku, bakugo, kiri, or whomever you want!) Reacting to a touch starved reader. Ever the stubborn captive, they deny they want anything to do with the yandere, but during some forced fluff shenanigans, the yandere accidentally squeezes readers legs/ holds onto readers shoulders deeply, and reader let's out a moan. Thanks! And remember to drink water and take a break if you need!

Ngl Kirishima, Bakugo, and Hizashi are like the 3 yanderes im always down to write 24/7

they all live in my head rent free

This one is more of an imagine/drabble thing, I threw in another bonus yandere bc I feel like he fits the prompt well. I hope thats all okay <3

Also thank you for your kindness <3 Im hydrated and hopefully ready to write out some fics! I have a few drafts in my computer already :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kirishima is the very definition of clingy yandere, he is practically the poster boy for clingy, so it won’t be very long into your...moving in (he refuses to admit he kidnapped you! You were just too shy to ask yourself so he encouraged you! Don’t worry he gets the message no matter what you say otherwise!) that he’ll catch on to you being so desperately touch starved despite angrily telling him to fuck off every time he tries to cuddle. Being the ever delusional puppy he is he just assumes that you’re shy and keeps doing it even more

He’ll try to respect your space and let you come to him naturally but he’ll still insist on being close to you, dragging you to sit on the couch, you sitting on one end with him sitting on the other, your legs entangled in the middle. He’ll wait until you are engrossed in the tv or your book or whatever hobby of choice you have (the poor sap will buy you anything you ask, he just wants you happy) making sure you’re completely relaxed before he slowly slides a bit closer, reaching out to run his hands across your legs, squeezing and massaging them gently. Honestly he expected you to kick him or freeze up, stare at him in fear and confusion and anger like you always did whenever he reached out to touch you.

But you didn’t do any of that. If anything you relaxed, arching up into his touch as a soft breathy moan slipped past your lips, causing both of you to freeze at the same time, staring wide eyed at each other, stunned. 

If you thought Kirishima was clingy before you would be dead wrong compared to his behavior after that. He’s constantly by your side whenever he can, brushing against you in the kitchen when the two of you are cooking or washing dishes, moving closer to bump shoulders when the two of you are close by, constantly touching your hair, your neck, your shoulders, everywhere. You’ll be overstimulated and stressed but there is no going back now that he knows. Cuddles and spooning sessions whenever he can get you to sit still, honestly I wouldn’t put it past him to whine and demand you sit on his lap sometimes too, or at least lay against him and let him give you massages when the two of you are curled up on the couch. 

And that isn’t even getting started on sexual touching. He’ll be like a dog in heat, constantly aching for you, practically humping you any chance he gets. He’ll wrap his arms around you waist and hold you close as he grinds his hard on against your ass, trying to pull out those cute little noises that you’ll make. Pins you against the counter, over the couch, on the table, anywhere and everywhere is free game. 

And know that his poor sweet darling is touch starved? He’ll be quick to try and remedy that, he’ll tie you down to the bed and get you off just by rubbing his hands across your skin, massaging you, kissing you, just touching you. He won’t stop no matter how much you plead until he is done and he is sure that you have gotten the attention you deserve from him. 

Izuku is probably one of the best yandere matches for a touch starved darling, he is so submissive and cuddly for his darling, but not so much so its overstimulating and overwhelming like other yanderes. Unlike others he is more likely to let you have your space when he...first takes you home. He understands moving is a big change and you need your time and space to adjust and adapt to your new surroundings. He may coax you out with your favorite home made meals and promises of hot baths or treats, but he’ll smile and suck it up when you yell and scream at him, saying you want nothing to do with him. You’re just stressed and adjusting thats all! He can wait you out. 

Now just because he is patient and understanding doesn’t mean he just lets you do whatever you want.  He has needs too! The entire reason he had you...move in was so he could be closer to you and spend more time with you without anyone else interfering! Even you just being in the same room with him without throwing a fit is enough for him to feel like his patience is being rewarded.  

That patience wont last forever, though.

He tries to work his way up slowly, very slowly demanding more of you, insisting you stay just a minute longer, let him stand just an inch closer, it will be so slow you wont even realize you are practically cuddling up to him until it’s too late and you are so use to an reliant on him that you can’t go back to isolating yourself again. 

He’ll always have an idea that you are a bit more...starved for attention than others but he won’t get confirmation until months into your captivity. He’ll sweetly insist that you seem stressed and that you should let him give you a massage to help you relax. His calloused hands will reach out, squeezing your shoulders soothingly, coaxing a soft happy moan from your lips.

Oh sweetheart! How can you expect him to hold back when you make such sweet noises just from a simple touch? He may be a gentleman but even he has his limits...

You can bet there will be more...touching in your future. And much less patience towards an aversion to it. 

Bakugo is probably one of the worst (yandere) matches for a touch starved darling imo, the poor boy is sensitive and touch starved himself, and with his aggression he would probably just end up overstimulating his darling, and not in a good way. He’d much rather be on the receiving end of massages and pets, nuzzling himself into your chest or your stomach as you stroke his hair and tell him what a good boy he is. 

Having said that he would catch on pretty quick to your little act, seeing right past the screaming and defiance and your insistence that you want nothing to do with him, which is going to get you locked up in the basement and punished heavily, he sees the subtle ways you act that remind him of himself, that tell him exactly what he needs to know. 

Unlike the others when he reaches out for you, he knows exactly what he is doing and exactly what kind of reaction he is going to get. The shit eating smirk on his face as you moan in surprise tells everything. He’ll keep touching you, fingers digging into your skin just a little too hard, trying to drag more of those noises out of you until you are trembling under him, left feeling raw and sensitive. If you’re lucky he might notice that he went to far and be how ever much more gentle next time as he can be, but honestly after that he’s the same old Bakugo. He doesn’t go out of his way to touch you more, if he wants to wrap his arms around you he will, if he wants you on his lap he’ll pull you onto his lap, if he wants to lay on you, fuck what you’re doing, you get a lapful of Bakugo. 

That act doesn’t hide the way that he curls around you and cuddles you way closer at night in those tender moments, though. 

Hawks is another very handsy yandere. He wants constant contact and attention from his darling, so much so its almost impossible to keep up with his incessant demands for your attention, it grows draining. Even negative attention in the form of screaming, crying, fighting seems to fuel him. He just wants you to be looking at him, he doesnt care how. He’ll be the quickest to figure it out since if you wont give him attention he’ll give you his. He’s constantly reaching out to touch you in some way or form, be it grabbing your ass, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, or curling his wings around you to pull you closer to him,  you’ll always know if Hawks is home and where he is since theres always some part of him reaching for you. He’s a weird mix of aware and delusional, he knows he has kidnapped you and you’re unhappy because of it, but part of him also believes he just needs to take good care of you and that you love him anyways. Because of that he’s just constantly trying to please you to try and “make up” for kidnapping you. (He often brushes it off like he got the wrong food or forgot to text you back instead of something more serious)

It’ll happen when you’re standing still, he’ll sneak up behind you, reaching out and squeezing your shoulders, rolling his thumbs across them in a brief massage as he happily opens his mouth to greet you, only to be interrupted by the cutest moan bubbling out of you as you arch your back, pushing into his touch with a soft gasp. 

Immediately you’ll find yourself pinned down to the couch or the bed, whichever is closer. Hands will be dragged across your body, desperately repeating that movement and many others, anything to drag those sweet noises you had been hiding from him out. He wont be satisfied until you are near tears, gasping and limp under his touch, having given him all your cute little noises, surrendering yourself fully to him. 

Not much will change after that, he is just as clingy and handsy as before, but now he knows all the pretty noises and faces you can make for him, and he practically pounces on you every time he comes home, desperate to hear more. 

[zhuhongs]

Upon rereading tgcf, one of the biggest complaints I have is how lackluster all the extra chapters were. literally none of them were good and all contained rlly gross and harmful sentiments (like the amnesia one which.. yea.. or all the things implying xl should get pregnant for hc thus equating gay relationships with hetero ones and playing into the wife thing and just GOD I HATE MXTX) 

There were a lot of little plot points i wish that had been further elaborated on more in the extras as opposed to hualian being ... like that. I had enough. Like mdzs had actaully good extras (minus the incense burners) that were nice side stories that elaborated more on the characters. Like the hook one with the juniors was so cute and i loved seeing them grow more. Or the lotus pod extras omg.. im such a lotus pod extra stan. those were so cute and gave us a lot of good insight into just how lovestruck lwj was during the times when he didn’t see wwx. mxtx should've stuck to those sorta extras in tgcf but NOOO. SO I have a list of so many other more interesting things those chapters couldve been spent on like:

A resolution on He Xuan’s revenge and his character arc. Bc its implied He Xuan is still hanging out and watching over sqx and that taking revenge didn’t fully satisfy him bc ok.. yea shi wudu is dead but he xuans family will never come back. Now what does he have to live for?? i wish we couldve seen a look into his life during the entire ordeal. like a chapter from his perspective while he was posing as Ming Yi  and maybe a look at a conversation btw he xuan and the real ming yi or a chapter after SQX was banished to see what he’s doing now. Also what did he xuan owe hua cheng money for anyways?? Like ik not every little thing has to be explained but I Want to Know. PLEASE more goth boyfriend content now I just wanna see him :,((

a better resolution of yin yu and quan yizhens storyline. im still mad abt how that plot point was split btw books 3 and 5  when it was rlly out of place and  there were other more pressing plot matters and it just rlly deserved more time. Also i thought yin yu died!?!?!? but apparently one of the extras says he’s alive and man... i;m not reading any more of the extras to see that, give me a full yin yu and quan yizhen chapter.. fuck.

a day in the life of the guoshi fangxin or general hua PLEASE especially like one where hua cheng was SO CLOSE to meeting xie lian but had no clue that xie lian was there at the time but the two did smth that inadvertantly helped the other and they still were connected even though they hadnt met omg pls that’d be so nice. like imagine Hua cheng catching a glimpse of the guoshi in public in yong’an while he’s trying to follow some lead that points to xie lian or maybe following a lead to capture qi rong bc he said he knew qi rong was a part of the yong’an stuff and originally thought the guoshi was one of qi rongs pawns. like can you IMAGINE him getting so close. but at the last second he did smth small that impacted xie lian. like they bumped into eachother on the street or smth. god i’d go crazy

OR vice versa.. like a day in the life of the young ghost king hua cheng. Like again, one of my biggest issues was that hua cheng just knew everything and its never really explained how he got all of that info. like yes he’s been alive very long and has eyes and ppl working for him everywhere but like... how did he build that network?? I’d love to see a chapter of young ghost king hua cheng travelling around trying to learn as much as he can abt the world and how it can help bring him to xie lian. and the two maybe are in the same kingdom for a bit and they don’t meet exactly but hua cheng stops some fight or something and helps xie lian indirectly or maybe xie lian is performing on the street in some costume and hua cheng doesn’t recognize him and smiles and gives him a coin or smth. idk i’m just dying for any sorta extra chapter or fic like that. i’m honestly so tempted to write my own but i cant write

also!! we’ve seen how xie lian picks up people down on their luck near him and show them kindness (like banyue, lang ying, xiao ying, he tried to with san lang but we know how that ended lmao) so i’d love to see another little vignette of him doing that on his travels and how every person he meets teaches him smth about life and being a good person and idk, i just think it’d be rlly sweet. i love this facet of his character and feel like we didn’t see enough of it towards the end.

ALSO hua cheng only seems to respect one heavenly official besides xie lian and thats yushi huang.. i assume thats mostly bc she was the only one to help xie lian and let him use the rain master hat to bring water to yong’an. I was thinking maybe when he was a new supreme he had run into trouble and maybe was picked up by the rain master and helped him heal and in return he promised to help protect her village from harm in the future. Like i know a heavenly official wouldn’t cooperate with a ghost like that but yushi huang is different and doesn’t really care about the heavens so i think she would protect him if he could do something to benefit her village. ik this is kinda far fetched but when he first became a supreme I’m sure a bunch of ppl probably tried to mess with him and didn’t rlly believe him to be undefeatable bc he hadn’t proved himself yet also i doubt all his power came overnight. he had to learn how to use it once he escaped the kiln. and some group probably thought they could weaken him somehow. I’m thinking maybe a rlly well formed group of ghosts actually caught him off guard once and he had to retreat and was picked up by the rain master and stayed with her and learned from her a bit. i think it’d be a cool concept also i just rlly want more yushi huang content and i’m on their friendship agenda bc he rlly did seem to actually respect her when she first appeared and i think it’d be cool if the two had some history together.

Also idrc if this was addressed I couldve missed it But!! Did xie lian ever tell Hua cheng that the reason he got the curse shackles and was banished again in the first place wasnt bc jun wu wanted to punish him, but because he requested it. And specifically requested it bc he felt guilty abt letting wu ming take the human face disease and disperse for his sake. So he took the shackles and descended to atone for that?? Bc I dont recall hua cheng learning that bc his soul was already dispersed at that point so it didnt follow him and xie lian didnt say anything so uhhh... someone should tell hua cheng that. Like I dont think xie lian rlly said how much hua cheng meant to him and didnt show him he was loved in grand ways. Like xie lian did always care for bc in other ways but I think if hua cheng learned abt this on screen it wouldve been such a great moment and I'm rlly surprised mxtx didnt address this iirc!?!? Like imagine jun wu telling Hua cheng this in the kiln bc xie lian wouldnt say it himself. Imagine how cool that would be.

Also a small thing adding into the whole young ghost king Hua cheng stuff. Its implied and p much stated that hua cheng isnt his real name. That he likely doesnt have a real name bc his parents died? (It's not clear. I'm still mad at mxtx for not making his childhood clearer). So I'd like to see when and why hua cheng chose that name for himself. The new tgcf ending song kinda hints at its meaning with the lyrics "for you I'd fill a city of flowers" as xie lian is the flower wielding martial god so it's probably inspired by that. Also xie lian saved hua cheng from leaping off the city walls but I'd love to hear him say it bc the implication of his name didnt dawn on me for quite a bit and I dont know if everyone made the connection. Again I sure as hell didnt. So itd be cool to see a chapter that takes place in his past after just ascending as a supreme

Overall I rlly think tgcf had a lot more potential to be even better and a lot of that comes down to fleshing out the side characters and letting hualian have more of a storyline independent of one another. like i know the appeal and message of tgcf is that through love, people can overcome anything, but fuck man. i just wanna see what these two (mostly hua cheng) where like in the absence of each others presence. Part of what I really liked abt mdzs is that we got to see that longing develop btw wangxian when the two weren’t together and how they thought about each other and did things in thei others spirit bc they knew the other wouldve done the same thing. but whatever, mxtx was too consumed by her own unhealthy idea of what devotion and true love looks like but still. i rlly think the extras couldve helped the story be better rather than be fujoshi fuel that i try to bleach from my mind -_-

[bakuraryxu]

talking about meds and stuff unsolicited opinions (especially from [redacted] people!!!!) are NOT welcome unless its to tell me how cool i am for doing stuff about my health

like.... its not a magic weight loss drug. its just like.... accelerating everything i already do. watching my diet is still boring but its easier now. i dont feel like im missing out quite so much. its like the obsessive part of my brain doesnt latch onto chocolate and junk food and sweets like it did before where it felt like my throat was cut if i didnt have something yummy right then and there. ive had a block of choccies in the cupboard for a week bc im only eating a few squares every other day because it tastes good. not because i feel like i need it.

exercising is easier too. it used to drain me and leave me more fatigued than usual. i see an exercise physiologist who promised me regular exercise would raise my base level of energy and he was a FUCKING liar. not on purpose or anything, my stupid idiot brain and body just refused to feel anything other than fatigue and trepidation at the thought of working out.

its like the perfect balance between appetite reduction and giving energy. im waking up around 6am and going for walks. its so easy to avoid snacks, a tiny amount of chocolate satisfies me, i havent had any intense cravings ....yet.... and god willing, i wont. its been 6 days and the first couple days i didnt feel anything, just dizzy and lightheaded and cranky. i get to watch the sunrise bc i get up so early. i walk my dog around a busy neighbourhood lake and i socialise with strangers who are also out walking their dogs and its great.

Before my biggest issue was my never-ending appetite. it didnt matter how much i ate, or how well (i see a nutritionist he assured me my nutrition is pretty good), i was constantly hungry. now im not. its not total appetite suppression for me i describe it more like a dampening effect. i get kinda hungry, i go eat a salad or whatever the fuck, and im satisfied for a couple hours. like on god. this is so ALIEN for me. and its great! i still drink coffee but because i like the taste, not because i feel like ill die without the caffeine boost.

this legal speed stuff is insane i totally get why people do meth now like ive thoguht abt it in the past bc the idea of not sleeping for days is so crazy but anyway.

its phentermine not amphetamines but anyway im loving it lmaoooooo like i feel normal. i feel so normal its insane. i can wake up and feel normal and i have energy, not even like. excessive. i just HAVE energy, which i never really had before? the fatigue fucking sucked the life out of me but atm im in a good place like mentally and getting there physically. im sore all over from working out, whcih ive done almost every day this week. im being social. im thriving. im losing weight. hopefully im building lean muscle mass too.

wish i took a before photo. im still extremely overweight but i know im slimming down and i feel great and cute and good looking. to reach a healthy weight i have like. so any kgs to go .... but u know. i dont know how much i believe these ideal weight bmi things, like i just cnanot conceptualise what i would look like if i was that slim??? and i havent weighed that much since i was a child. we’ll see what happens. this week was pretty easy all things considered, i hope i can keep it up.

so far my biggest side effect complaints are cotton mouth and irritability (see gif for example). its not a constant thing but i do think im more aggressive than usual? im ready to start biting people. oh also the insomnia i guess but these three things... could be for any reason. not just the drugs. its impossible to say. im not unfamiliar with dry mouth and trouble sleeping from antidepressants ive taken in the past lol.

[bokuroaka]

hi! can i ask how u made ur carrd like what are the settings? ty!

omg YES i love carrd making hi anon. if there’s anything specific u want just lmk!! under the cut bc its long... i make most of my carrds on desktop so this is very desktop based.... to all of u who do ur carrds on mobile honestly kudos i cld never

uhm also when i say long like this is v long bc i added a lot of reasoning to my settings n tips that i’ve picked up on making carrds (plus the screenshots) i hope it helps tho ^_^ apologies if u knew most of this stuff tho bc i explained... everything...

some notes before we get in: for colors i usually just base everything off the sidebar image and use a color picking website (i use this one) to get the the html codes for colors. the site i use also generates a palette which i also use! ur free to use anything tho obv. the font i used is “inter” 

1. ok first here are my page settings! i wont include my animation settings now ill leave that to the end.. these r rlly the only settings that i’ve changed so i’ll just post these.

ok i dont rlly change much except for these two, the position is set to top not center (which is the default) b/c esp w carrds like the one i have now i dont like the header portion moving depending on the height of the container underneath... does that make sense? that’s just super nitpicky of me LOL but if u do end up making the carrd n playing around w the settings u’ll see what i mean

the width is set to 22 bc i like small carrds! play around w this as u see fit, i also change it depending on how it looks like in mobile (im very thorough lol) if ur wondering how u can do that on desktop, its this phone looking icon on this bar on the top right of the screen: (the 6th icon!)

the next pic is also default settings except my spacing is set to 0. i’ll explain why later! the alignment also doesnt really matter w/ this carrd. u can play around with it tho!

2. this is for the home page!

first i’ll explain how this is set up: the title box and the box under it (i’ll call it info box) are both containers! here is why i put set the spacing to 0 earlier: if u put 2 containers theres going to be space btwn them and to achieve this kind of look (ig) i just set the page spacing (in the page settings) to 0. however this means that everything is going to be pressed up against each other so i usually just add dividers (which are transparent [color code is #96969600]) i wont post a screenshot bc the settings r default, except for the margins which u can play around with to see what works for u (it’s set to 0.375 for me rn)

here are my settings for the title box 

most of these r pretty standard except for the padding and border. the reason why i didnt tick the bottom part is bc of the container w all my info underneath. both containers have borders so the bottom & top border of those containers wld just merge n create a thicker border which isnt what i was looking for... anyway.

then i just add a text element & just write my title! idt my settings for that r relevant so i wont add it (the text size is 0.875)

next is the info box! here are my settings: 

btw this is a container with columns!! those can look p wonky on mobile so make sure to have these settings on so that they wont look awful on mobile!!

oh also i wont post a screenshot of my text settings (text size is 0.75 + line spacing is 1.25) if ur wondering how i changed colors for some of the text the format is basically just [text]{#color} 

for the image size i set the width size to full (or full column) that depends on u (and how much text u put in the info part) i just prefer how it looks like when the image width is set to full bc that way no part of the image is cut off... really depends on u and what image ur using though so just play around w/ it!!

and in terms of spacing, i have a divider on top of the title box b/c otherwise the whole thing is just too high up for my taste

ok now to explain the header part and how i got my title/info box to stay “fixed”

so... im ngl. i dont understand how the header function works (help) so uhh i wont go as into detail here. but what worked for me is adding a header marker (the plus thing on the bar > control > change section break to header marker) right after the info container, then adding a section break (this one is called #wala bc wala here means ‘nothing’ in bisaya lol) and a transparent divider right after it. i hope its visible in the pic... anyway this is the only method i found that makes the carrd work lmao. it rlly doesnt matter what u name the #wala section break bc its not gonna show up so u might as well just use a keysmash

3. the extra info!! (extra, interests, byf)

this section will b shorter compared to the first two LOL anyway. first i started off w a section break (#usa which means 1 in bisaya hehe), then a transparent divider for spacing, and then a container! theres nothing fancy abt this container it has the exact same settings as the info box above so u can just duplicate that container and change the container type from columns to default.

then just add ur info and ur done!! repeat w whatever extra info u want to add (i only had 3 to add so it looks like this for me)

4. oh before i forget, these are my animation settings!! (page > the triangle thing)

u can preview the on load animation by clicking the triangle button on the top right bar, but for the on section change animations u have to save then preview it on ur carrd itself :/ kinda annoying but yeah... i usually never set anything above 0.5 seconds for on section change animations bc im impatient LOL 

these r completely optional tho... i just think animations make the carrd look smoother & more fun!

thats it i think! here are some tips i have

1. this tip is abt how carrds can differ when on mobile! i sometimes fiddle around with the mobile settings to make sure my carrd looks the way i want it to on mobile! bc mobile sometimes fucks up the spacing and it annoys me LOL... example here: 

u can find these settings if u scroll down a bit on the page settings and switch mobile from auto to manual (like in the screenshot) most of the settings i dont touch except the size setting, i just fiddle around w it and see how my carrd looks in the mobile view until im satisfied

2. this isnt rlly necessary but its smthn neat i picked up! if u check ur section break settings and check hide footer u can get rid off the “( made with carrd )” text on the bottom! i think it just makes the carrd look a bit neater, esp since the page spacing is set to 0 so it might look a little squished under the container...

3. i like to use all elements of my carrd efficiently (ig? heres the engineering major jumping out) and idk if u noticed, but if u click on the title (”it has always been once for me”) or the image (which is... of tbz..) it actually takes u back to the home page ^^ idk i just think small things like that r neat 

thats it for real!! i hope this wasnt too much of a hassle to read or follow through, and if u have any questions dont hesitate to dm me or send me an ask, even if we arent mutuals!! i hope u have fun making this carrd <3

[the-family-fortune]

Earlier today Cali asked me quite possibly the worst thing you CAN ask me

And boy howdy did I have some thoughts. 

idk if ive mentioned it here before or not but I have a lot of feelings about the idea of redemption in psy2. I LIKE the idea that no one is beyond redemption, that people can be good and that we are all, at our core, just hurting. and those are the themes that psychonauts plays with. mental illnesses that are seen as "scary" like the inmates (though the inmates themselves are rarely presented as scary, with maybe the exception of Edgar because he's just. huge.) - bipolar mood swings with inexplicable rage, Edgar's anger issues and sheer strength combined into an intimidating figure, and the stigma of multiple personalities like how Fred acts meek one second and then on the warpath the next when he "switches". All of these oooh scary mental illnesses are literally just people grappling with trauma. Edgar's OCD and the trauma from high school, Fred's... weird genetic memory issues, and Gloria's inner critic and the death of her mother. These things are like, Normal People Problems (sorry fred idk what the fuck is up with u buddy ur on another level all together) and really contextualize the inmates' mental illness in a way that emphasizes the main theme of empathy. 

I intentionally leave Boyd out of this because while the root of his mental illness is schizoaffective paranoia, his ROLE as the Milkman and in fact his entire mindscape is the product of Oleander's hypnosis.

So like, I VIBE WITH THAT, its a really really interesting take on the conversation about mental illness and how these things do not make people inherently bad or scary!!

But I feel like, BASED ON WHAT WE KNOW RIGHT NOW, that the Galochios - or, at the very least, Zalto on his own - fall into a different kind of category.

The Galochios from the start are jealous people. They're jealous of the Aquato's fame and think that they deserve more recognition which in and of itself isn't a bad thing per se - wanting to feel appreciated and recognized and seen is just a basic human desire, I think. But jealousy isnt a mental illness. Jealousy is a natural human emotion that we, as rational and empathetic people, must make the conscious choice to deal with in healthy ways. The Galochios don't, and they let that consume them from the start - where they allow themselves to hate the Aquatos for their fame, where they allow themselves to ostracize Marona, where they drive her out of the family and where they attempt to drag her back, it's not the product of mental illness destroying relationships like someone in Edgar's position might experience, but pure pride and jealousy directed towards the Aquato family.

And like from there its just all downhill

And I could argue that from this point things compound to create a mental landscape that maybe isnt the picture of health in the Galochios, because grief can really, really fuck you up, and regardless of how they acted, losing a daughter or a sister when Marona died, could not have been easy.

But I cannot read "the Galochios crowded around the tank to gleefully watch Lazarus's decapitation" and be like "aw they're just hurting 8(" because mental illness is not synonymous with undue cruelty.

Like the Galochios at every turn are presented with A Choice and by god they're determined to make the wrong one. Whether or not this is motivated by grief or jealousy or whatever doesnt matter, because even when you are mentally ill it is still the bare minimum to not gleefully watch someone you dont like get decapitated, u know?

That is, I think, them consumed by jealousy and hate and seeing nothing wrong with it because it benefits them and hurts people they dont like. Thats. that's not mental illness that's just being an asshole

So while I absoLUTEly vibe with Psychonaut's theme of empathy and compassion and understanding that mental illness isnt bad or scary, and that we're all struggling with something, I think that narrative has two sides to it, and the same way that "we're all struggling with something" lends to the idea that we need to extend compassion to others, the Galochios being so stubbornly cruel as to be irredeemable in the narrative of psychonauts two lends to the equally important theme of "but you can not sacrifice yourself for people who do not WANT help"

Because of the nature of the things the Galochios have done (and perhaps, are still doing, as we move into the secrets behind the RoR and Psy2 narrative) I think that it would take a LOT. A LOT. for the writing to pass off a Galochio redemption in a meaningful and complete way, because of the nature of the choices they make. From what I know about them right now, these are not the actions of people who are... hallucinating grandeur or some greater purpose who believe in some hidden agenda like Boyd. From what I can gather and what we already know about the Galochio backstory, this is just the kind of people they are. 

 Now, taking into account Zalto specifically, I can without a doubt see him having some major psychological damage. Like I said earlier, grief can really, really fuck you up, and Zalto experienced more grief than reasonable, all at once, with the tank accident. He was already not the most stable person. ("But Daisy!" I hear you cry, "Augustus lost his entire family in a year and didn't snap like that!" True but look me in the eye and tell me you think he's coped with it in a healthy manner. Augustus experienced unreasonable amounts of grief and as a result his ten year old thinks he wants him dead.)

So if that turns out to be the case, and we see a level where we actually do deal with that grief in a healthy way (which imo would be very interesting to see the trauma of grief treated the same as mental illness - even though we all experience grief at some point, sooooome of us dont quite take it as well as others, whoops!) we could see the baseline path to a Zalto redemption.

But really it all boils down to responsibility for their actions and how they handle their trauma and the fact that eight Aquatos were murdered does not automatically become sympathetic because Zalto was dealing with grief. I personally, would be really interested to see the Galochios as villains end the game as villains and for that stubbornness and unwillingness to accept empathy or help be shown as their downfall, because irl its incredibly unhealthy and self-destructive to refuse help or refuse to SEEK help when you very clearly know that something is hurting you, and that you are in turn hurting others.

I also REALLY don't want them to be given the Oleander treatment.

As much as I love Oleander, I feel like a lot about his character was mismanaged, and he was turned into comedic relief in RoR.

like. A lot of my thoughts on the psy2 narrative as a whole relies heavily on the li-po document of course but the story that we were given IN psy1 vs the story that we are told in the document are so STARKLY different.

"Oleander wants to take over the world because he's angry at tall people from that time from that time his dad killed his bunny, which traumatized him" is NOT the same as "Oleander spent his formative years FIRMLY BELIEVING that his father saw him as a burden because he was small, thought he was nothing better than pig slop, and witnessed the death of an animal that he had a psychic connection to, after which he spent his entire life attempting to make his father proud only to be rejected by every branch of the military. By the time he was finally a Psychonaut and felt he would be able to make his father proud despite his stature, both of his parents died horribly in a meat grinder accident while he was away training." 

 NOT THE SAME HOLY SHIT.

Oleander had so much POTENTIAL but he was kinda shoehorned into a very two-dimensional role. Idk if it was because of budget or time or what, because the production of psy1 was very..... not great. But its absolutely a SHAME to see such a heartbreaking backstory reduced to "short and angry about it"

And it absolutely cheapens his redemption, too.

The fact that Oleander's story was so heavily pruned COMBINED with the fact that - while it's hinted at in game, its honestly INSANELY difficult to put two and two together imo because of how its presented, Ford outright tells us that Oleander's assignment to whispering Rock was the cause of his mental break (the camp sits on a motherload of psitanium. It makes psychics more psychics, and unstable people more unstable.")

that's never once brought into the resolution of Oleander's character arch and the processing of his trauma and how the psychonauts directly contributed to his deteriorating mental state that led him to try and take over the world because they so deeply misunderstand psitanium but decided to build a kids summer camp training facility on top of it

thats like... early experimentation with nuclear materials before we understood the dangers of radiation. Not to stay topical or anything, but its a clearly dangerous substance that the Psychonauts treat very blase.

But to get back on track there, I really hope that if the Galochios DO receive a redemption arc in psy2, which seems likely given the overarching theme of the games themselves even extending to Loboto of all people... I hope they don't butcher it like they did with Oleander's. Given that they've had five years and a LOT more experience with this genre and its storytelling conventions (plus the fact that they're just excellent storytellers to begin with) I have a cautious optimism that whatever happens with the Galochios it will at least be a satisfying conclusion. (For comparison, Oleander's butchered redemption is still kinda held together by the satisfying conclusion of the game, in which Raz actually becomes a Psychonaut so that isnt to say that psy1 didnt have a satisfying conclusion) 

and at this point im sure you're regretting telling me to talk as much as i want because if there's one thing you ought to know about me by now its that i never shut up about the Galochios and honestly I've had a lot of thoughts about them and the themes of Psychonauts and the general structure of storytelling in the Psychonauts games overall.

As for the Galochio family themselves, I'm fascinated to see exactly who survived and what the power structure of the remaining Galochios is. If Zalto makes the final cut, I want VERY badly to know how he treats his family and if his anger has kinda pervaded what was probably a long time ago a relatively tight knit family. I want to see the individuals involved in this, how far they're each willing to go and where that lies in relation to Zalto. Like everyone has their moral limits, and if Zalto is utterly consumed by his goal to either obliterate the Aquatos or resurrect his family (shudder) his tolerance for atrocities may be much higher than that of his family members, which would automatically sow dissonance within the family when one by one people start deciding this is too much, this is too far, we cant keep doing this.

[i-just-want-to-destroy]

what do you think of bakugou and endeavor redemption arcs?

SEE THE THING IS,

I feel like bnha is always on the precipice of like. Touching on some REAL stuff but it always backs out at the last moment.

First of all im a big hater of both characters so expect a biased opinion here (lol). But i do think they are “good characters” as in they are interesting and pertinent to the plot, complex etc. bleh. bleh bleh. but the way their arcs are written.... lots of things rly dont sit right with me 

**Fair warning i dont have the english skills to phrase this whole thing better.

1. Bkg first. I remember when bkg took the hit for deku i made fun of the whole thing bc OFCC thats how we r going to “redemp” him. Which in one hand ok, it does stay true to bkgs character bc he literally cannot communicate his feelings to save his life, hes more of an action guy. But also i really do think the buildup for that moment can be pushed more. And im not even gonna blame bkgs character entirely here bc he IS an established stubborn ass with the communication skills of a tadpole etc etc. what im gonna blame is the way horikoshi never lets deku even TOUCH on the bullying he’s endured before UA. Its literally never been discussed. Like the only time it IS brought up is the flashback we get right before bkg sacrificed himself. But deku, instead, never got the chance to process any of it. And i think thats my main problem with the whole bkg thing (and ofc there is a vindictive part where i feel like bkg hasnt got enough “repercussions” for it, which may be arguable, but thats a whole different ballpark).

i especially think bkg should apologize outright/address what he’s done to deku, but if horikoshi wants to drag that speech out (and thats if the speech will ever happen in the first place) i can accept that. BUT. to me. It has to be equal... as in deku should be allowed to address that too.

I get that deku is a virtuous main character who will supposedly forgive kacchan no matter what or whatever. And fuck it you know what, thats okay. But im begging let deku at least process it in some way. Bc the thing about deku’s character is whenever he gets angry, its always on behalf of someone else’s and not himself.

Which, again, is a virtue. But i also think the author tapping out on the whole bullying issue is kinda a coward move. Even when deku dukes it out with bkg its always about “im gonna get stronger and be number one kacchan!!111” and not “man you irreparably damaged my entire childhood and told me to [redacted] myself.”

literally the whole bullying nuance is casted out and replaced immediately with some boys will be boys rivalry. Which, really, just looks like the author taking the easy way out to me.

I can see how much both characters have grown, tho, and its clear that they care about each other. but the development is really :/ it leaves much to be desired wtf. 

I’m not satisfied w bkg’s redemption arc thingy but i dont expect anything better either. I think if i were to reread bnha from the beginning i can have a clearer perspective on the whole thing, but i dont really feel the incentive for that bc it simply doesnt compel me enough to do so LOL.

If its worth anything, i dont really hate bkg anymore. only sometimes lmfao

2. End*avor. Ugh.

Ok. I love family drama its like crack to me. the whole dabi thing had me yelling forreal. And todoroki fam has like some of my most favorite characters in the whole series.

I dont even wanna discuss end*avors character... like honestly, the ones that shine the most in end*avor redemption arc are the other family members and not end*avor himself. Which on one hand i appreciate but also i might be biased? But im really <3 over how we get todoroki rei’s character development from this arc. Not only is rei’s arc cathartic as hell but its also very, very encouraging to see a character stands over her ab*ser like that after suffering for so long. I cant express how much i love that. And fuyumi and natsuo? Insanity. I esp love how fuyumi’s efforts get the appreciation they deserve.

And i liked the surprise where dabi rained on end*avor’s parade right after end*avor thought he could actually redeem himself. Ok im not gonna sugarcoat it i just liked to watch dabi fucked him over, it was a standing applause eureka moment for me.

Honestly i think the whole concept is really delicious, like the son of the number 1 hero is a villain thing, heroes arent saints, etc etc etc. like that is so sexi so dramatic so soap opera literal superhero telenovela and i loved it a lot. Like i really enjoyed reading the whole thing. so like. i am entertained.

Do i feel like end*avor has redeemed himself? Mm NO <3. I appreciate the details that he himself thinks that he is unforgivable (blehh) and he DID suffer which was nice to watch, personally. but its not enough and it will never be <3 

im not sure if i think this way bc i just think what he did is irredeemable or bc the storytelling sucked OR BOTH <3. And i still do feel bnha did that thing where it backed out at the last moment with end*avor’s arc.... like it was touching it but it still didnt want to get its hands dirty, you know? Like what stance is it taking, really? It just never goes all out. 

i think some details about this arc also irk me...... like why does the rest family got to shoulder the burden of his fuck ups? <3 die <3 like this part annoys me so much. and seeing how he got to be comforted after everything he’s done.................................................... i cant even say how much that just ... pisses tf out of me <3 haha

like thats the thing. i feel like both characters (bkg n end*avor) are still coddled despite everything.

im fully aware im biased tho. and no i will not change

leaving that clownery aside, i didnt expect bnha to take this direction, so like. ..Applause i suppose :/. The recent arcs have been a pleasant surprise in some part and i will still be following its developments. i do genuinely think both characters are interesting btw i just kinda hate them lmfaooo. 

honestly, what i do. is just to keep low standards 🙌

TLDR I dont rly feel like either characters have redeemed themselves and i feel some disappointments over their respective arcs but i like the development n direction that the story is taking overall.