#whatever floats your goat she is just NOT my cup of tea

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I asked for book recommendations and someone recommended me Colleen Hoover and I got so angry that I killed them.

[post-itpenny]

Glow

@grotesquegabby As requested, something with the fairies. 

The sky was dark and threatening rain as Alex strolled up to the large manor that sat at the far corner of a group of warehouses. No one seemed to notice him, but then again, no one seemed to notice the manor or it’s effect on the environment. Roads made of pastel cobblestones, otherworldly plants creeping up the sides of buildings, small specks of light floating around. It seemed the Elder of Creation’s home was slowly contaminating the world around it.

Whatever, it looked more fun this way.

Alex didn’t bother to knock on the door, no need when the building recognized him. Casually letting himself in with a whistle.

“Whatsup Lady Luck!” Alex shouted as he closed the door behind him, blocking out the distant rumble of thunder.

There was a small buzzing sound, from one hall came a small fluttering creature that couldn’t be more than a foot tall. Her tiny wings being the source of the noise.

“Good afternoon sir!” She greeted in a small voice. “How may I- EEK!”

Fanny launched at the creature only to miss as it dogged out of the way and flew behind Alex, peeking over his hat at Fanny who now swiveled around in confusion.

Alex chuckled and scooped Fanny up in his arms. “Hey now little lady, Fanny just wants to say hello.”

The creature hovered above Alex’s shoulder, now that he could see her properly the little creature looked like a fairy. A small thing with translucent wings and a dress made of what looked to to be flower petals. Alex snickered, of course Magpie would have stereotypical fairies flying around her house.

The little fairy inched closer to Fanny, reaching out to gently pat the creature’s head. Fanny made a strange purring sound, the little fairy giggling as she settled on Alex’s arm to scratch Fanny under her chin.

“See? We’re all friends here, and speaking of I’m looking for my friend Magpie. Is she hanging around somewhere?”

The little fairy floated up till she was eye level with Alex and gave a tiny curtsy. “My apologies sir, my name is Peasblosom and I serve the lady of this house. If this is Fanny then might I ask if you’re Mr. Calamity? My mistress has spoken often of you.”

Alex chuckled, “yeah that’d be me, call me Alex.”

“Mr. Alex, it's a pleasure to meet you. My lady is currently working in the theater. She is setting up something for an upcoming performance that promises to be totally lit.”

“That’s cool but just call me…” Alex paused as he realized what Peasblosom said. Giggling to himself as he followed along as she led him through a large set of double doors.

The theater was large and grand, a space that in no way should have been able to fit inside the building however Alex was the least bit surprised Magpie was branding reality to fit the space. Everywhere thin clear strings hung, not seeming to have any particular rhyme or reason to them.

Magpie herself was perched atop a tall ladder fixing a string of some sort. Hovering around her were two other fairies. One stitching the hem of Magpie’s jacket and the other rattling off a schedule to her.

“Looks like you got yourself a little squad going on here,” Alex laughed.

Magpie turned in surprise, grinning when she saw who had spoken, “Alex! Just give me one second, I think you’ll rather like this.”

She adjusted something on the string before instructing the two fairies to hang it back up with the others.

“I’ve been setting this up all day, suppose I could have done it in a snap but sometimes it’s so nice just to take the time to make something! So then, ready?”

Alex sat down in one of the seats kicking his feet up. “Aiight, lets see what you got.”

Magpie clapped her hands, the lights flicked off in the theater revealing a myriad of colors swirling across the ceiling and walls in intricate patterns. The strings glowed in the dark apparently. Undulating in some unfelt wind making the colorful patterns move up and down like waves on the sea.

Alex gave a whistle at the spectacle, “looks like a rave Lady Luck. All you need is some good music.”

Magpie giggled, her eyes glowing in the dim light. “I have been putting music more and more to my shows, it makes things more fun.”

She clapped her hands again and the lights came back on. Fanny launched herself at Magpie’s face just as the magician climbed down from the ladder.

One of the fairies began to panic, tugging at Fanny and yelling.

“Shush, shush!” Came Magpie’s muffled command as she pulled Fanny off her head and cuddled the creature. “I’m just fine Mustardseed, see? Fanny wanted to say hello.”

Magpie handed Fanny back to Alex before pulling out a handkerchief to clean her face with. “It’s wonderful as always to have you Alex. You and Fanny are just in time for-“

CRASH!

A large stack of props tumbled down from one side of the stage.

“Cobweb!”

A fourth fairy rolled out of the rubble, sitting up with a guilty grin, “hey.”

Magpie frowned, tapping her foot as she waited for an explanation.

The fairy called Cobweb chuckled before clearing his throat. “M-my bad mistress. I’ll clean it up after tea.”

Magpie smiled with a shake of her head, “well all of you do come here and introduced yourself. This is my friend Alex.”

At this the four little creatures lined up in a row, all giving a polite nod except Cobweb who crossed his arms with a huff.

Magpie however was too excited to notice- “Alex I want you to meet my four new assistants! Peasblosom, Cobweb, Moth, and Mustardseed.”

“Hello again Mr. Alex!”

“Afternoon sir.”

“Hello sir.”

“.... Sup.”

Alex chuckled, “Cool to meet you all, and it’s just Alex.”

They all soon made their way to the parlor. Outside the weather had grown stormy as rain beat against the windows.

Magpie poured four tiny cups of tea and a cup of hot kool-aid for Alex before turning to fix her own cup. “So what does kool-aid actually taste like?”

“You haven’t tried it? Whaaat? I mean most people drink it cold but here, take a sip.”

Magpie gingerly took the cup and took a sip, Alex just catching the look of panic on Cobweb’s face. Magpie sputtered and slammed the cup down, “it’s salty!”

Three small heads turned to their sibling. Alex calmly taking the cup and gulping its contents down as Cobweb looked on in shock.

“Huh, yeah I guess it is. No big deal, just sorry your first experience with kool-aid wasn’t all that.”

Magpie grabbed the tea pot that held the rest of Alex’s drink and took a sniff, she frowned and snapped her fingers before pouring Alex a fresh cup, a familiar syrupy scent telling him the salt had been changed to sugar.

Magpie took a careful sip, just as surprised as before but not upset, “it’s incredibly sweet but not bad.”

They sat and chatted over drinks and the cookies Magpie had made, Peasblosom curled up with Trouble and Fanny as the other three flew around the room playing.

Alex grinned, “so you made them yeah? You like a mom then Lady Luck?”

Magpie choked on her tea, “I beg your pardon?”

Boom!

The sound of lightning hitting the House was akin to a giant hammer falling down. The lights kicked out as all four fairies shrieked, Alex feeling one of them scurry under his hat as the others crashed into various objects looking for hiding spaces.

Alex looked, eyes adjusting to the sudden darkness, before at last finding Magpie, who surprisingly had not tried to comfort the little creatures.

Magpie herself had curled up in a ball, head ducked down, trembling.

Ah that’s right, Magpie was afraid of the dark herself.

“Hey Lady Luck it’s all good, no need to wig out now.”

Alex scooted his chair closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders with a chuckle, “I’m the scariest thing here anyways.”

At this Maggie gave a small laugh, leaning against him but not uncurling from the ball she was in.

“It’s lonely,” came Peasblosom’s voice from under Alex’s hat, “and cold.”

Alex grinned, “you good up there?”

“Yes.”

“Ouch.”

Magpie finally lifted her head, wincing in pain as apparently Cobweb had tangled himself in her hair.

“Mistress make the lights come back on,” he whined.

Magpie was still trembling, “I-I um, I-“

“Mistreeeeeesssss!”

By this point Moth and Mustardseed had come out of their hiding places to seek refuge in the pockets of Alex’s jacket. “Cobs I can’t even with you right now,” Mustardseed groaned.

“Yeah well why you gotta complain?”

“You’re just being salty because-“

“S-Stop, stop.” Magpie insisted, head buried in Alex’s shoulder.

Alex chuckled, “we’re all fam here now, let's be chill.

“F-fam?” Magpie questioned.

Moth on the other hand was delighted, “he gets it mistress!”

“What a goat!” Peasblosom agreed.

“H-he’s not a goat,” Magpie insisted, “Alex is Alex.”

“Yeah a clown,” Cobweb mumbled.

Alex caught what he said, laughing in response, “yeah I’m a party clown… pal. And I know how to make any time a good time.” Alex patted Magpie’s shoulder, “ol’ Alex will chill with y’all till the lights come back on.”

Magpie seemed to relax slightly, finally uncurling from her tight ball.

From the nest he had made in Magpie’s hair, Cobweb stuck his tongue out at Alex.

Magpie patted the little fairy’s head and shifted a little, seeming to try and concentrate on something. Alex was about to ask what when a dim glow began in her chest, spreading out along the veins of her body as it slowly brightened. A warmth radiating off of her like sunshine.

Alex grinned, “well you do like glow-in-the-dark stuff.”

Magpie chuckled at the joke as Cobweb grumbled and buried himself deeper in Magpie’s hair.

[noodleroni2]

Signs as things in Tyzias' cup

Aries: Dirt

Arcses: Holy water

Arruis: O B L O N G M E A T P R O D U C T

Ariborn: Sweat, blood, and tears

Arittarius: Nothing, it's empty

Arpia: Carrot juice

Arza: Milk

Arga: Trail mix

Aro: A mixture of bleach and Windex

Arcen: Hot Cocoa

Armini: Peach tea

Arun: Redbull

Arist: Sprite Syrup

Arsci: Radiation-filled sewage

Arnius: Rocks and small pebbles

Aricorn: The only trace of Dad he left behind, a smaller cup

Arittanius: A pocket dimension

Arpio: Apple cider

Arra: Rubbing alcohol

Argo: Corn starch

Arlo: Sand

Arcer: Coffee with so much creamer you can't consider it coffee anymore

Armino: Wires

Arus: Howie Mandel pee

Taurus: Juice that makes you stare at gay people

Taurist: Money

Taursci: Blood

Taurnius: A mixture of every drink you can get at Starbucks

Tauricorn: Lemonade

Taurittanius: Ambergris

Taurpio: Pure caffeine

Taurra: Those little capsules with the dinosaur sponges in them

Taurgo: Red wine

Taurlo: Glitter

Taurcer: The bug soup that was in Dammek's house (he couldn't've ACTUALLY been eating bugs, could he?)

Taurmino: Tears

Taurun: Lava

Tauries: Not very good green tea

Taursces: Really old pool water

Taurrius: Toilet paper dissolved in water

Tauriborn: Ramune

Taurittaruis: The blood of a mountain goat

Taurpia: A root beer float

Taurza: Watered down soda

Taurga: Nothing, the cup hasn't been used in so long there's still dust on the inside

Tauro: Instagram slime

Taurcen: Glue

Taurmini: Fish tank water

Gemini: "Kool-Aide"

Gemun: Spiders

Gemries: Mountain dew with crushed Doritos for garnish

Gemsces: Chai tea

Gemrius: The blood of Shigeru Miyamoto

Gemiborn: Pumpkin Spice Latte™

Gemittarius: Book juice

Gempia: Water

Gemza: Boba tea

Gemga: Rice with a LOT of soy sauce

Gemo: Smart Water™

Gemcen: Red Faygo that tastes like cough syrup

Gemino: Period blood

Gemus: Howie Mandel pee

Gemrist: Lotion

Gemsci: Wet cement

Gemnius: Your first born child

Gemicorn: Shit

Gemittanius: Saltwater

Gempio: Honey

Gemra: Mexican hot chocolate with a little TOO much cayenne pepper

Gemgo: Pure fuel™

Gemlo: A spleen

Gemcer: Carrot Juice

Cancer: Rainbows

Camino: Friendship

Canus: Very tiny cats

Canrist: Goo

Cansci: Paint water

Cannius: Fiber powder

Canicorn: Ectoplasm

Canittanius: Justice

Canpio: The blood of people who don't care for law

Canra: Hair

Cango: Apple juice

Canlo: Lemonade

Cancen: Stomach acid

Camini: Piña Colada

Canun: Polluted rainwater

Canries: You don't want to know

Cansces: Motivation

Canruis: The souls of the innocent

Caniborn: Weed

Canittarius: Lean

Canpia: Punch

Canza: Fingernails

Canga: Glass

Cano: Vodka

Leo: Anxiety

Lecen: Prozac

Lemini: Matcha Tea

Leun: LCD

Leries: Nitroglycerin

Lesces: Cyanide

Lerius: Saliva

Leiborn: Piss

Leittarius: Horse shit

Lepia: Troll ass

Leza: Penises harvested from the penis tree

Lega: The sweat of her favorite politician

Lelo: Chicken soup

Lecer: Popeye's™ Red Beans and Rice

Lemino: Sweet tea (ew)

Leus: Peach tea (unsweetened)

Lerist: Peach tea (sweetened)

Lesci: Fingers and toes

Lenius: Terezi's glasses

Leicorn: Bullets

Leittanius: Chalk

Lepio: Cans with questionable contents

Lera: All of her sins

Lego: Legos

Virgo: The Void

Virlo: Cereal

Vercer: Fiberglass

Virmino: Holographic Nail Powder

Virus: Dog residue

Virist: ROOT BEEERRRRRRRRRR

Virsci: Here's your easteregg for the post: Did you know that the backtrack for Dove and Grenade by Hollywood Undead is actually just Undertaker (Renholder Mix) by Puscifer.

Virnius: Equius' sweat

Viricorn: Grease

Virittanius: A Jaeger Bomb

Virpio: Rotting meat

Virra: A puppy, whenever she takes a sip she's actually kissing it on its little head

Virga: Whatever the first result of searching "Strawberry Drink" on pinterest is

Viro: Her notes

Vircen: Lotion

Virmini: Perfume

Virun: Vinegar

Viries: The water in the Great Fairy Fountain

Virsces: A kitten, whenever she takes a sip she's actually kissing it on its little head

Virrius: Mercury

Viriborn: Alphabet soup

Virittarius: Salad dressing

Virpia: A martini

Virza: Kool-aid that's been left out so long it's grown mold

Libra: JUST1C3

Ligo: Anime

Liblo: Ranch

Licer: Water. We all know it's water.

Limino: A copy of SBURB

Libus: Ink

Librist: Mallek cause he's so GODDAMN TINY

Libsci: M&M's

Libnius: Melted chocolate

Libicorn: Glitter

Libittanius: Sequins

Lipio: The cure for blindness

Libza: A few kilos of cocaine

Liga: Betelgeuse

Libo: Fire

Licen: Slop

Limini: Cockwaffle

Libun: ...Syrup?

Libries: the fact that i almost spelt cocaine as conaine on libza

Libsces: i cant physically finish this. ive run out of things to put in her cup. i have a migraine. theres probably so many typos. ive had this in my drafts for months.

Librius:

Libiborn:

Libittarius:

Lipia:

Scorpio: The water inside of a Magic 8 ball

Scorra: De-caf (It's not like it's REAL coffee)

Scorgo: The syrup that goes into fizzy water to make soda

Scorlo: airpods

Scorcer:

Scormino:

Scorus:

Scorist:

Scorsci:

Scornius:

Scoricorn: hey, thats me!

Scorittanius:

Scorpia:

Scorza:

Scorga:

Scoro:

Scorcen:

Scormini:

Scorun:

Scories:

Scorsces:

Scorrius:

Scoriborn:

Scorittarius:

Sagittarius:

Sagipia:

Sagiza:

Sagiga:

Sagio:

Sagicen:

Sagimini:

Sagiun:

Sagiries:

Sagisces:

Sagirius:

Sagiborn:

Sagittanius:

Sagipio:

Sagira:

Sagigo:

Sagilo:

Sagicer:

Sagimino:

Saguis:

Sagirist:

Sagisci:

Saginius:

Sagicorn: Nails (from fingers AND the kind you put in walls)

Capricorn: The Limited Edition™ Starbucks Unicorn Frappucino

Caprittanius:

Capripio:

Caprira:

Caprigo:

Caprilo:

Capricer:

Caprimino:

Caprius: A delicious tiny ripe for the voring

Caprist: Oh god what was I thinking, doing that above one?

Caprisci:

Caprinius:

Capriborn:

Caprittarius:

Capripia:

Capriza:

Capriga:

Caprio:

Capricen:

Caprimini:

Capriun:

Capries:

Capricses:

Capririus:

Aquarius:

Aquiborn:

Aquittarius:

Aquapia:

Aquaza:

Aquaga:

Aquo:

Aquacen:

Aquamini:

Aquiun:

Aquaries:

Aquasces:

Aquanius:

Aquicorn:

Aquittanius:

Aquapio:

Aquara:

Aquara:

Aquago:

Aqualo:

Aquacer:

Aquamino:

Aquius:

Aquarist:

Aquasci:

Pisces:

Pirius:

Piborn:

Pittarius:

Pipia:

Piza:

Piga:

Pio:

Picen:

Pimini:

Piun:

Piries:

Pisci:

Pinius:

Picorn:

Pittanius:

Pipio:

Pira:

Pigo:

Pilo:

Picer:

Pimino:

Pius:

Pirist: see libsces