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bluecrocss · 4 months

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Yes. You are racist. (Buckle up, this is gonna be a long one)

So approximately half a year since the premier of the Disney+ Percy Jackson show, and almost two years since the announcement of the Trio's casting, I would like to take this moment to look back at the insane, racist and anti-black backlash that was launched at Leah Sava Jeffries and a few other cast members from the PJO fandom.

I'm not concerned with the trolls who are openly racist, who resorted to racist slurs and outright threats, everyone agrees that they "took it too far". I want to talk about the rest of you, the "I'm not racist, but.." people, the "What's wrong with wanting book accuracy?" people. Just to let you know, for the unasked question... yes, yes you are.

I've noticed the Percy Jackson fandom has been lording some weird superiority complex over a certain *unnamed* fandom that has fallen out of grace due to their recently outed bigot of an author. But honestly, y'all are not much different. The amount of vitriol and anti-blackness I have seen from this fandom (beyond just bullying a 12 year old girl), y'all don't have a leg to stand on.

Below is a breakdown of the most common arguments I have seen used to justify y'alls absolutely insane bigotry. I am going to explain why none of these justify the amount of anger and vitriol y'all have sent towards Leah, Rick or any of the cast.

I am not here to argue, and this is not a democracy. I am giving you a chance for some self-reflection and to understand that this pattern of violence directed towards POC actors (mostly black women) has never been justified in the name of "book accuracy"/"comic book accuracy"/"ending forced diversity" or whatever other excuses y'all try to make up.

If you still try to justify or argue further for any of these points, I will just block you. I am not coddling you through your racism. If anyone has seen any other dumb arguments floating around that I might've missed, feel free to sound off in the comments.

She's not book accurate:

Neither is Percy, Luke, Grover, Dionysus, Poseidon, and just about every other named character.

Rick already made it clear that physical features were not the priority with casting, rather it was actors that embodied the role. So why are the biggest complaints about Annabeth and Zeus? 🤔

What? You're gonna say everyone else got backlash too? I see you trying to obscure the main issue by playing dumb 😉

See my friend, yes, there were one or two comments about how Percy's hair should be black or how Luke is supposed to be blonde, but as soon as Leah was cast, none of those actors got any significant backlash. In fact, Walker and Charlie literally have an army of fan girls at their beck and call, calling them the perfect Percy and Luke, despite neither being "Book accurate". But then again, have we not observed the pattern of White boy of the month vs WOC to hate for the year? (Yes, I know Charlie isn't white. Further adds to the irony, doesn't it).

Why include character descriptions if you won't stay true to them, you cry? Well, my dear sweet moron, see, books and TV are two different mediums. Because in literature, you can't *Literally* SEE the characters, the author has to add descriptions to paint a picture in your mind, in TV... that's not an issue. So unless the character's appearance is necessary to the plot (like Luke's scar, or Nico being Italian) the show runners can actually focus on more important things.. Like ACTING and PERSONALITY.

2. It's just not how I imagined her:

News flash, babe! ANNABETH ISN'T REAL. None of these character are. They are concepts that originated from the brain of Mr. Rick Riordan. It doesn't matter how YOU imagined her. There are millions of people who read these books that imagined her several different ways. When the creator of the character watched Leah's audition and said, 'Yes! She embodies the character I created!", your imagined version of Annabeth ceased to matter. And guess what? The books still exist... they have not been burned. Your version of Annabeth has not disappeared. Go read the books.

3. Zeus can't be black/Gods have to be Greek/*Insert Character* can't be black:

Y'all did not read the books, I swear. You have to be fake fans looking to troll atp.

The gods move based off the center of western civilization. They change their forms/environment to reflect the culture they are occupying (they did it with Rome, now they're doing it with America). The gods change forms all the time. How we see them is not their true form as a mortal would disintegrate if they were to see their true form.

America is a cultural melting pot (specifically NY where Mount Olympus is now based). If the god's choose forms that reflect the current society they inhabit, they could literally be any race (keep in mind NYC is only 33% white).

All of this is literally SPELLED OUT in the Lightning Thief.

Furthermore, if you're going to push the ethnically Greek thing... Poseidon is British with a British accent and Hermes is Latino. The only ethnically Greek actor is Dionysus (who still doesn't look book accurate). Y'all are sounding like some white supremacists because do you forget that race is a social construct?

Before the advent of the transatlantic slave trade, I can promise you that the Greeks and the Anglo-Saxons did NOT view themselves as the same people. Why are y'all not taking issue with Poseidon's actor then?

Also, Percy Jackson has canonically had a slew of explicitly black demigods since the second book (including Harriet Tubman, which I have mixed feelings about 😭), so I genuinely have no idea where some of y'all are going with this point.

4. She was our smart blonde representation:

Don't pmo. I swear to God!

White, blonde women have NEVER been excluded from Hollywood. Representation is not something you lacked. The dumb blonde stereotype was a simple branch off of a larger misogynistic "dumb woman" stereotype. It has not truly been relevant since the mid 2000s outside of childish jokes.

This iteration of Percy Jackson will probably not go beyond the first 5 books, based off pacing and the age of the actors. So here's a fun game: 5 bucks to the first person who can find me a quote in the first 5 Percy Jackson books, where Annabeth laments her insecurities about being blonde (hint: there aren't any).

Also, her blonde hair does not hold her back at Camp because she is head of the Athena Cabin who are highly respected (and guess what?), ARE ALL BLONDE!

Her insecurities about her hair color are two or three lines at most in the later books, not this fundamental, core part of her character y'all all of a sudden wanna pretend it was. And guess what, as a non-blonde black girl, I was able to read those scenes of Annabeth feeling undervalued because of her looks and relate to her even if she didn't look like me at the time.

Why all of a sudden can y'all not do that with a black Annabeth? By every metric black girls are undervalued for their intelligence in academia more than white girls are, regardless of hair color. So your little representation of a woman undervalued by her looks would still hold. Do y'all dehumanize black women so much, that you are incapable of empathizing with show!Annabeth's plight in the way I could with Book!Annabeth simply because she doesn't look exactly like you?

Your issue isn't that she isn't blonde, it's that she is NOT WHITE.

Furthermore, Becky Riordan had tweeted previously (before the show was even cast) that Annabeth never needed to be blonde (probably recalling the BS y'all put Alexandra Daddario through), so even if they cast a white Annabeth, the blonde hair was never a guarantee. the author and producers all agree that it was not a significant part of her character. It's been a non-issue since day one.

Also, stop acting like smart blondes are rare in media... If you don't go watch some Legally blonde, Iron Man (Pepper Potts), Zack and Cody (Maddie), Liv and Maddie, FMAB (Winry), Captain Marvel, She-Ra, Buffy, The boys (starlight) etc. etc., and go sit down somewhere 🙄🙄🙄 (those were literally all things I've watched recently, off the top of my head, btw 💀)

5. It's not about race, but...:

Yes it is. It was always bout race. No other actors got as much hate as Leah. Her grandmother and other family members on IG had to mute their comments because they were getting so many threats.

Alexandra Daddario had to come to her defense on Twitter. Rick had to put out an official statement on his website. This girl has endured years of psychological torment for simply having the best audition. No one else is book accurate, no one else is ethnically Greek (except Jason Mantzoukas). Walker literally has British and German ancestry.

Why was she being called racial slurs on reddit and in youtube comments?

I know what you're gonna say, "I actually had problems with the entire cast", "I actually had a bigger issue with Walker's hair color", blah blah blah. Then why aren't you in Walker's comment sections? Why are you only making your displeasure known on posts defending/advocating for Leah? Why is she always your first example of 'wrong casting"?

Well, she "looks the most different"... Look up the term "scapegoating".

"Oh, I don't agree with the harassment. I just don't like the casting." Guess what? She's already been cast. They are not going to uncast her. What do you get out of still complaining about it.

All the vitriol you're stirring about her when you complain about her on Social media, it is directing people to send her hate, even if you're not writing it directly. It's is not enough to "not agree" with the racism, it is your duty to actively prevent it. And btw, these are young gen z actors, they are active on social media. They see the edits of themselves (even comment on it) and they most likely see these little "harmless" complaints you're posting. Are your upset feelings really worth contributing to the racist dogpile on this poor girl?

6. Why couldn't they atleast give her blonde braids?:

Why should they? Y'all wanted blonde because of the "dumb blonde" trope... that doesn't apply to POC.

A blonde black girl is gonna be viewed the same as a non-blonde black girl (or at worst, someone might decide she's "ratchet" or some shit for wearing colored hair). What difference would it make?

Why shouldn't Walker dye his hair, then?

7. Annabeth has Gray eyes:

Less than 3% of the global population has "gray eyes". Even if they cast a white actor, they would've needed contacts. Her being black is not the reason Annabeth's eyes aren't gray. Simply put, it is a plot element they removed, like the whole "names have power" element, or Ares having flames for eyes, or Dionysus using his powers to grow strawberries at Camp.

That's how adaptations work. Unnecessary plot elements are cut to save time and budget. This has nothing to do with her casting. They probably also didn't want to make child actors wear contacts (not a new practice).

8. Even if Rick chose her, he was wrong/Disney is forcing him to be okay with it:

Where do I start? Rick created the character. He can't be wrong. Do y'all have no self-awareness? Death of the author has no place here, because y'all are hung up on an aspect of the character that is not relevant to her arc or development.

Y'all's justification for wanting a "book accurate" Annabeth is that she was such an inspirational and important character growing up, and yet your behavior is so in conflict with the character you claim means so much to you. You're narrow minded, dismissive of bigotry and injustice, and disrespectful to the wishes of the creator of your favorite character; everything that Annabeth would never be. Y'all were never genuine fans of the books. You're bigots that needed an outlet for your rage.

Keep in mind, Rick has said countless times that PercaBeth directly mirrors his relationship with his wife. Y'all think he would have allowed them to cast someone who doesn't live up to the woman who has been by his side for decades? The mother of his children?

Regarding Disney forcing him, show me one piece of direct evidence that proves Disney in anyway pressured Rick to cast her. Cuz if you can't, that's baseless speculation. And if you have to resort to baseless speculation, maybe try to examine why it's so important to you to hold on to this belief.

9. So, I'm racist because I hate "race swapping"?:

To start, there is a difference between "race swapping" and "color blind casting". Often times, when y'all complain about the former, you're actually mad about the latter.

It would be "race swapping" if Rick and the team decided ahead of time that they wanted a black Annabeth and ONLY allowed black actors to audition. But the actual reality was that they accepted auditions from everyone (there were white actors and non-black poc that also auditioned for the role) and chose the best person who embodied the role. They didn't "make Annabeth black" and they didn't "make Zeus black", they cast black actors for those roles.

Y'all think you're being slick with your wording. Dismissing that is implying that they did not earn their roles fair and square. Which is racist. It's the equivalent of going up to a black college student and telling them they only got in because of affirmative action. You're dismissing the achievements of a person solely because of their racial background.

For all you people complaining about "unfairness" and "forced diversity", I would think hiring based on merit would appeal to you 🤔

71% of theatrical Hollywood leads were white in 2024 in comparison to 29% POC and you still think "black washing" is a thing? You still get this angry over a black person fairly earning a role because you think in a time where Hollywood only knows to do remakes and adaptations, that the majority of lead roles still *have* to be reserved for white actors?

Once again, white people have never been excluded from Hollywood for being white. Representation has never been something you lacked nor is it something you can lose. Your anger comes from seeing a black face where you think they don't belong. Because you feel you are owed a disproportion of representation in Hollywood.

10. Woke agenda/DEI/Forced Diversity:

If you are unironically using any of these terms in a negative light, it's already too late for me to reason with you. Look up the term "dog whistle". If you are sharing the same terminology with Elon Musk and his fanboys, maybe reevaluate some things.

POC are objectively underrepresented and have been historically excluded through actual laws and policies in Hollywood. There is no such thing as "forced diversity", you have bought in to a right wing conspiracy theory.

"Woke" is a term that was intentionally appropriated from the black community. It originally meant being aware of injustice and systematic threats to the community and is now being weaponized by bigots. Good job.

Diversity and inclusion is a good thing.

11. But POC deserve to have their own stories told:

We do. And we have been fighting for it for over a century now, and we've made great strides, no thanks to y'all.

No thanks to y'all gaslighting us about how little representation we get or that representation matters at all. No thanks to y'all pushing the idea that POC can't sell globally and obscuring POC actors in international promos. No thanks to y'all continuing to whitewash even to this day (Bullet train, the beguiled, gods of Egypt, atla, every portrayal of Jesus ever, etc.). No thanks to y'all calling every piece of media that has more than one black lead and more than one queer couple "woke". No thanks to y'all throwing a fit every time a black person in a fantasy setting isn't a slave.

Fact of the matter is, y'all never cared about POC "getting their own stories", you're only parroting our own words back to us now as a politically correct way of saying, "leave white roles alone" lmao

Well fun fact, actors of color getting opportunities to play lead roles and allowing poc to "tell their own stories" are not mutually exclusive. If y'all cared that much, instead of bullying a 12 year old actress, you could actually support up and coming independent POC writers, directors, and studios 😱

12. Studios need to stop "setting up" actors of color:

Do me a favor and google the term DARVO.

Your racism is not the fault of the studios for giving a POC actor a role that they earned. It is not up to the rest of society to tiptoe around racists to avoid their vitriol. It is our responsibility to hold them accountable and protect minorities from unwarranted hate. At most, you can say it's the responsibility of the studios to provide adequate support to POC actors who face this backlash.

At the end of the day, Hollywood only allows very few spots for POC actors (especially WOC), while simultaneously pushing a new white boy every month to put in everything. Putting minorities in these roles that are usually closed to them, usually opens the door to more actors of color than before.

Brandy being cast as Cinderella did a lot to push her into the mainstream (yes, she was already extremely famous in the black community atp), Halle Berry being the first, black, bond girl literally shot her to icon status, and even going as far back to what Anna Mae Wong did for Asian American actresses with her "femme fatale" roles.

At the end of the day, even with the backlash, *some* rep does more good for POC actors than *no* rep. The solution to racist backlash isn't to take away those opportunities, but rather to not be racist??? 🙄

Also, for everyone that claims that "POC race-swapping" is just as bad as "white-washing", despite white washing having a longer history and objectively causing more harm, note how the backlash to white washing never lasts as long as the harassment that POC get.

Like, no one brings up Scarlett Johansson's ghost in the shell role anymore, but you can best believe Candace Patton is still fending off racist trolls. As much as people hated the atla movie, people moved on quick from Nicola Peltz playing Katara since she was just a kid that accepted the role (re: daddy bought her the role), but y'all would not have any of that consideration for Leah Sava Jeffries.

But I digress...

13. What if we made Tiana white? Wakanda white? Hazel white...:

Ah, my favorite inane point. I was so excited to get here :)

See, I could start out by pointing out how "White washing" and casting a POC actor as a traditionally white character are not equivalent.

I could point out the history of hollywood ACTIVELY excluding POC actors and POC stories. I could point out how grossly over represented white people are in hollywood. I could point out that POC characters are so few in comparison that whitewashing them causes actual harm, where white people have never lacked rep.

I could point out how, because poc characters and stories are so often tokenized that their racial/cultural background is often directly tied to their character's identity, in opposition to a lot of white characters, since hollywood treats white as the "Default".

See, I could make all those points, but the thing is, the people who make this argument already know all that. They are trying to waste time by drawing me into a pointless circular argument that will sum up to "fair is fair", while ignoring all the context and nuance I previously provided.

So you know what? Forget it. Let me play your game.

I am actually fine with a white Tiana. Would it make sense, for her and her family to experience Jim Crow era racism, in the south while white? No. But we can look past it. Disney was never known for historical accuracy anyway 🤷🏿‍♀️

However, in exchange, the live action frozen will have a black Elsa and Anna, live action Rapunzel will be black, live action Merida will be black, we're re-filming Cinderella and Beauty and the beast to cast a black belle and Cindy, snow white will need to be recast as black, and we also get aurora whenever the live action sleeping beauty is announced. But then y'all can keep Tiana, deal?

You want a white T'Challa? Fine! (I'm partial to Ryan gosling), in the meantime, we'll be recasting Iron man, Captain America (Steve version), Bruce banner, Thor, Loki, hawk eye, black widow, ant man, captain marvel, Bucky, Peter Parker etc. All the avengers and their side characters, then y'all can have Sam Wilson, war machine and the whole of Wakanda (will it make sense that a sole, hidden, African nation is randomly made up of white people? Who cares? We get the avengers!).

You want white Hazel? You got her! I hope you have no problem with us taking Percy, Nico, Will, Poseidon, Jason, calypso, Rachel, Tyson, Silena, the stoll brothers, Sally Jackson, Hades, Hepheastus, ares, etc. But y'all can have Hazel and Beckendorf.

If we're gonna do this, let's commit all the way. Fair is fair, after all.

14. Leah isn't as "pretty" as Book Annabeth/Movie Annabeth:

I wish I could say this wasn't a genuine point I had read, but when all else fails, they will always go for a woman's appearance.

Now first of all, as a rule, I will never hold black women to white beauty standards. Our hair will never be long and silky enough, our nose will never be narrow enough, our skin will never be fair enough and our eyes will never be light enough (Might I recommend Toni Morrison, when you get the chance?). But Leah is unfairly gorgeous idc what any of you say, and you're not gonna have me use my defense of Leah as an opportunity to bash Alexandra either because she is also beautiful. These two queens slayed to the best of their abilities within this toxic ass fandom.

I find it funny, however, that so many of you harped on the "blonde" issue because you thought it was important that Annabeth be seen beyond just her looks, but quickly devolve to bashing an actress's looks when it comes to why she's not right for this role 🤔

I would also like to sincerely apologize that the 13 year old girl they cast in the show, wasn't as sexually attractive to you as the 24 year old woman they cast in the movie and sexualized through like 25% of her screen time (I'm actually not sorry. You're very weird if this is an actual point for you).

15. I don't agree with sending hate to the actor, but she's just not right for the role:

Once again, what are you doing by complaining about her casting on no other basis than her race?

The creator of the character said she embodied the role. She has already been cast, and Disney would be in a legal/production hell to recast her atp. Just because you're not directly leaving comments on her social media doesn't mean you're not part of the hate mob.

No matter how you look at it, your issues with her casting come from a very entitled and narrow-minded place. When you join in on these dialogues you are bolstering a sentiment that pushes more people to harass this teenage girl. When you leave these "harmless" complaints, on show content, fan posts or posts defending her, she's liable to read them because the cast regularly interact with fans online.

What do you have to say that is so important that it trumps protecting a young girl from the long-staying trauma of racism, of being told she doesn't deserve something she worked for because of how she was born?

16. I can't even criticize the show without being called racist:

Get. Over. Yourself.

Y'all are not the victim. Have fans of the show gotten protective of Leah and the young cast? Yes.

With good reason. This fandom is unbearably toxic.

Racism outweighs your need for a "perfect adaptation", sorry.

If you explain yourself properly and keep your critiques fair (like, even I don't think this was a perfect season, and will be sharing my thoughts shortly), no one is gonna call you racist.

You're preempting with that because in all honesty, you're probably planning to use your "critiques" of the show to pivot to one of the many points that I just outlined, and you want to pre-empt the criticism.

If a black Annabeth is the end all be all for you, just don't watch the show, no one's holding a gun to your head. Geez.

17. I'm Black/POC and I don't agree...:

Hey, Candace Owens... No one gives a shit.

First of all, for all the "I'm POC and I don't agree" people, you don't speak for us. Anti-blackness is rampant in just about every culture globally. You being not-white doesn't somehow make you less prone to hating black people.

But for the "I'm black and I don't agree" leftovers (assuming you're not just a 👩🏼‍💻 behind a keyboard). Black people are not a monolith. You're not obligated to think a certain way because you're black.

But consider why you're putting yourself up as a barrier to protect this hate mob. It's one thing to just state why you don't like Leah's casting, but to start off your spiel with "I'm actually black" as a way to weaponize the very identity politics you're critiquing... very strange. Not to mention, what are you defending?

The black community is coming together to defend one of our own, a kid who has been receiving death threats since she was 12, and this is when you feel the need to back the opposition?

I mean whatever... sometimes the house slaves would snitch to the master. There will always be some of y'all in the woodwork. It is what it is.

But when the exact ideology you defend is turned against you, when a Baltimore elected official is being accused of getting his job through "DEI", when conservatives are claiming that they wouldn't "trust a black pilot", don't decide that's where you'll finally draw your line in the sand.

All that being said, This is my Annabeth:

May every tongue that rose against Leah Sava Jeffries Shrivel and die in 2025 🙏🏿 My girl will keep winning ❤️

(video by @/waleahhasmyheart on TikTok)

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #percabeth #disney+#pjverse #pjo tv show #percy jackson fandom #rick riordan #riordanverse #leah sava jeffries #leah jeffries #walker scobell #camp half blood #pjo series #disney percy jackson #annabeth chase #mine

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girls--complex · 2 months

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So. Yeah. I can do this in the interest of vaguely trying to be helpful. I feel bad about brain vomiting at anon and then not editing myself when this is probably all they really wanted from me.

As you know I'm very much an intellectual who very much has a well researched and developed system of thought that I use and am not, like, just some woo ass freakazoid stoner, with holes in her brain and kind of a shitty education, who doesn't really inherently enjoy reading books. Yes reading books is extremely boring but I love to do it because I am oh so smart.

Soooo I'm limiting myself to FIVE books because five is a nice number. They are not books that require a great deal of literacy or education to read, or else I would not have read them. They are books that give what I feel is a helpful perspective on the Christian tradition. They will be listed in descending order of how much they mean to me personally to underscore the fact that I'm just some guy who is moreover just saying shit.

The Cost of Discipleship (Dietrich Bonhoeffer) Read this book if you want the text of the gospels to glow and pulsate when you read it and it doesn't already do that. Or you want it to do that more. Or you don't want to endlessly strive to be happy or healthy or a decent person anymore you just want to live. You won't like it but you can't argue with the testimony of Bonhoeffer's life. And then if you keep reading it you will like it. Sorry that it's Lutheran but no I'm not.

The Universal Christ (Richard Rohr) Read this book if you don't care about being cool or smart and you just want to be fucking happy for once.

Revelations of Divine Love (Julian of Norwich) Read this book if you want to encounter more than you want to interpret, if you enjoy freaky medieval shit that's actually awesome, if you are in the mood to scream and cry and throw up, or if you are considering a career in nursing.

The Sermons of Meister Eckhart (U know...) Read this book if you don't understand anything or if you feel like you understand anything or if you're a big fan of dharmic religions and want to read the Mandukya Upaishad as recieved by a catholic. Whats cool is they're all pretty short.

The Physics of Angels (Fox & Sheldrake) Read this book if you have some type of a heart for scary woo shit or want to develop a more balanced relationship to woo-ology, or if you want an overview of angels in the Christian tradition that steers clear of thoroughness or academic reliability in favor of wild psychedelic speculation and unchecked boomer optimism.

Thank U for asking me because I love to share. I know it's my blog so I can technically post whatever I want but I also don't want to post things no one cares about because that defeats the purpose of posting. OK bye.

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fishsinsareacknowledged · 5 months

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Core!Wheatley!Headcannons

Tw: pure fluff, really.

My brain is braining

Core! Wheatley who..

Demands to be held 24/7

If you don't hold him he's going to be a sassy orb

"I spy with my little eye, something that starts with f. Give up? It's the floor, the cold, empty floor."

And if he rolls over without your assistance...

"Little help down here ,love? The walls are nice and all that but I'd rather really be looking at you."

Core!Wheatley who's handles will wiggle around trying to get your attention to whatevers more important than him

Core!Wheatley who's desperate enough to beg to get back into your arms again

Eyes physically light up when he feels himself lift off the ground

His voice raises in pitch too

"Nice of you to come around, knew you'd understand really. The floors cold and lonely, truly nothing at all like being in your arms all day, luv'."

Core!Wheatley who talks to you through the bathroom door while you shower

Core!Wheatley who doesn't care that the floor is dirty dammit he will be the first thing you see when you step out and he will not waste a second because of the stinky floor to not lay his eye on you the very second you get out

Core!Wheatley who waits (im)patiently in his little dog bed of a pillow whenever you do your daily activities

Core!Wheatley who gets jealous of your computer or alexa

"C'mon love, you don't need all that. You can just ask me, I'm full of surprises y'know. Who knows, maybe I do have a pancake recipe, can't knock it till you try it!"

Spoiler, he doesn't.

But he's going to act as if he does just to get your attention

Terrible liar

You can tell he's lying because he doesn't know how to lie

They said he would die if he ever knew how to lie and he still believes that

So he never searches it up

Oddly enough he's a great cook when it comes to anything that's not sweet

Can't taste the food but will tell you how it the food looks like it tastes

"Ooh luv' I uh- I think it's a little burnt-"

He's getting the couch.

Manages to convince you to carry him into bed hours later

Makes himself think a little harder because he knows it makes his systems turn warm

He makes sure he's perfect for cuddling and not too warm

"Is that good love? I know you pesky humans are quite sensitive to temperature. Wouldn't want to burn you."

He speaks slower, hushed in a way as he tries to soothe you to sleep

Core!Wheatley who slows down his fans when you're asleep, knowing that it makes him a little quieter <3

#portal 2 #wheatley #portal #wheatly portal 2 #wheatley x reader #wheatley x you #x reader #wheatley x y/n #portal x reader

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reyalvr · 1 year

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HEY POOKS i have a request(idk if there closed or not so please lmk) so like reader who hates physical touch finally holds aonungs finger like when there walking together and like his reaction?? idk first time requesting and your my fav writer❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

NEW BEGINNINGS.

୨⎯ in which first impressions are changed – slightly. ⎯୧

genre┊ chaotic fluff, enemies-to-friends, slight e2l if you squint hard enough

pairing┊ao’nung x fem-sully!reader

wordcount┊2.9k

warnings┊none, ao’nung is just an idiot (so nothing new)

author’s note┊ vv cute request but i’m ngl i did end up struggling a bit trying to come up with a scenario for this T^T again, sorry if i had to modify it a bit! hope you still like it anon <//3 also the scene where ao’nung takes lo’ak outside the reef doesn’t happen here! also i'm encouraging you guys to listen to the song rec i added because it really just ties everything in together LMFOAHGHJD (edit: i’ll write a sweeter drabble soon too help)

song recs ┊ lujon.

When you had first arrived at Awa'atlu, Ao’nung had pegged you as the silent, strong-willed eldest daughter of the Sully family. During training you only ever kept to yourself, practicing on your own as soon as you mastered whatever technique they were teaching you that day. You weren’t rude, just very stand-offish.

So stand-offish to the point where not even his insults or antics could get a reaction out of you. It drove him mad, really. Your other siblings, save for probably Neteyam, had given him the reaction that he had expected, wanted even. He thrived on attention, be it bad or good – it’s what made him feel confident.

So when you arrived here, paying him no mind, his brain had gone haywire. He tried doing everything he could – jokes, pranks, and hell, even compliments for minor achievements. Those didn’t work, and he was just about to give up on garnering anything out of you until today happened. He hadn’t seen it coming.

He had spotted you and Kiri by the shore, sitting together as you admired the sand. Ao’nung was aware that this environment was new to you, yet he still found it strange how you always managed to be so entranced by every single thing. He murmured something to his friends, and they snickered at his words.

You turned then, your bright yellow eyes looking at all of them with disinterest. He flashed you a smile and again you did nothing, not even an eye roll. He felt it falter, though he kept it up as soon as your sister lifted herself out of the water.

“Huh? What’d you say?” She asked, her tone so welcomingly friendly.

“Are you some kind of… freak?” He teased, his hands coming up to grab her arm.

“No,” She answered flatly, trying to pull herself out of his grasp.

He waved it around then, as if it were some toy. His friends all laughed at your sister’s hand, treating her like some kind of deformity. You quickly pulled her out of their circle, your face slowly forming a scowl. His eyes widened slightly as he took note of your reaction – success? Not quite, but nearly. He continued on with his antics, hoping that today would finally be the day he got something out of you.

You didn’t understand why Ao’nung was so fixated on treating you and your family like shit. He was a menace, and you honestly couldn’t believe you’d made it this far without retaliating against him. You wanted to yell at them to stop, but you knew that you would only be provoking them.

“Are you sure? I mean, you’re not even real na’vi.” Ao’nung continued, his hand now coming up to pull on your tail.

You yelped, instantly turning to face him. If looks could kill, he would’ve been dead the moment you laid eyes on him. You hated it when strangers touched you without warning, let alone people you hated. Eywa, you wanted nothing more than to smack the entitlement out of this boy. But still you remained silent, opting to just walk away from the situation.

You heard your brothers then, suddenly joining the crowd. Lo’ak guided the both of you further away while Neteyam stopped whatever else was about to fly out of Ao’nung’s mouth. Your scowl remained though, and you kept your death stare focused on him and his circle of idiots.

“And from now on,” Neteyam concluded, his expression just as pissed as yours, if not, even more. “I need you to respect my sisters.”

He made eye-contact with you briefly, and something about the look in his eyes told you that he had no intention of keeping his word. You scowled even deeper.

One of his friends actually had the gall to hiss at your brother, though Ao’nung had made the smart choice of holding him off. Neteyam made his way back to you now, gesturing for you guys to head back to the village. And you were going to– really, you were, but Ao’nung just couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut.

“Look at them, they’re all freaks. Especially quiet girl,” He said, his tone hushed but loud enough for you to still hear. “She’s already a four-fingered freak, what more if she can’t even handle a little tug.”

He had his back turned to you as you stomped angrily towards him, your fist already clenched at your side. His friends had no time to warn him as you angrily jerked his shoulder, making him face you.

“[Y/N] leave it be!” Kiri begged, but it was already too late.

You decked him, hard. He stumbled as he fell, landing straight into the shallow water. He blinked slowly as he regained whatever balance he had left, his hand coming up to caress his cheek. Everyone looked at you in shock. In your entire stay with the Metkayina clan, never did you act out this rashly before. In fact, you never acted out at all.

“Four-fingered freak, you say?” Your tone was taunting him, your tail swinging rapidly as you tried your best to keep yourself at bay. “You mean the freak who just put you on your ass?”

His friends hissed at you, already lunging towards your direction for the insult. They didn’t make it two steps in as your brothers had already stepped in for you, swinging hits left and right. You were pushed out of the way, and you staggered backwards until you were next to Kiri again.

She gave you a look, and though you were older than her it felt like you were the younger one moments away before getting a scolding. In the end you had to pry your brothers away, eventually meeting up with your father by one of the pathways. All of you, except for Kiri, kept your heads bowed as you listened to your father’s words of displeasure.

To say he looked disappointed would be an understatement. He was pissed, yes, but more importantly he was embarrassed. He had asked of you guys one thing, and you had tried so hard to live up to your promise of respect. But today was your last straw.

You could tell your father was torn between having to scold you or let you go with just a warning. He knew now of Ao’nung’s torment, yet he didn’t want to jeapordize the safety the village provided for your family.

Wanting to fix this mess immediately, he walked the three of you to the chief’s marui. You sighed and closed your eyes as you walked, mad at yourself for even escalating this stupid situation in the first place. You had everything under control, but all it took was one tail tug and a few harsh words to have your composure come crashing down.

Ao’nung leaned on the side of his marui now, watching as you and your brothers apologized for your actions. He held a cloth with medicinal paste against his cheek, his cuts stinging as he continued to dab it on. His mother and father stood beside him, their presence the only thing keeping him from mumbling any more digs at you.

You were the last to speak, and he could tell that you didn’t want to do this. You took a few moments before you finally looked up at him, your eyes filled with such resentment. The hand you had used to give him the bruising wound below his eye was still tightly fisted, your knuckles still red from the amount of force you had used in one blow.

“I am sorry,” You started, so much distaste in your words. “So sorry that I hit you. And I am even more sorry that I put you on your ass.”

Lo’ak snorted quietly, trying to keep quiet so as to not piss your dad off even more. You felt your father nudge your shoulder, and you redid your apology, this time with a little less sarcasm and annoyance.

Ao’nung’s parents sighed heavily as they approved of your words, followed by his father demanding that he apologize as well for his insults. He had tried to protest, but one look from Tonowari was enough to have him muttering a half-assed apology.

You didn’t care, it wasn’t sincere anyway. And even if it were, you had no intention of accepting it. Once all was said and done, you were the first one to go. You walked away, your expression back to its nonchalant one. You held your head up high, no longer hanging it in embarrassment.

Ao’nung had remained in his place, his mind still processing what had happened today. He was successful in his mission, but could it really be a success if he was the one injured? Could it really be a success if your feelings toward him were only momentarily, your stoic persona coming back almost instantly?

Needless to say though, the reaction he got out of you was unexpected. He knew you were tough, your father was Toruk Makto for crying out loud. But he wasn’t ready for your physical retaliation. Even at the beach, he only stared at you as his friends tried to defend him.

He winced again as he remembered the pain on his cheek, the bruised spot feeling incredibly sore. He was thankful that you didn’t aim for his jaw, since that truly would have shut him up for good. He brought his hand up, slightly tapping the tender area. Who would’ve known that a quiet little thing like you had so much power? Not him, clearly.

He continued to stand there, still examining all his injuries. His sister came up to him then, just coming back from wherever she had been. She looked at him, her eyes darting from bruise to bruise. What happened? her gaze said, though he had a feeling she already had an idea of the events that transpired today.

He only brushed her off, turning to walk back inside the pod. She followed after him, persistent in getting answers out of her brother. Tsireya sat in front of him, not leaving her place until he spoke. He gave her a look, but she gave him a look as well in return.

He groaned under his breath and rolled his eyes before he finally told her everything; the teasing, the taunts, the fight, your punch. She put a hand up to her mouth, much like how Lo’ak tried to compress his laughter a while ago. How fitting.

“Are you laughing?” He said, slightly offended that his own sister found his failures funny.

She pressed her lips into a tight line, shaking her head instantly, though he could see her fighting a grin. She put a hand up to his shoulder, patting him lightly as she got up, taking an empty basket with her.

“Oh big brother, just what have you gotten yourself into?” She said, the suppressed laugh from earlier sprinkled in her words. “If [Y/N] didn’t already despise you before, she definitely does now.”

“Why should I care?” He said as he stood, facing his sister with his arms crossed.

“Why should you care?” She turned and parroted his words, eyes wide at how infuriatingly dense Ao’nung was. “Need I remind you that she is the daughter of Toruk Makto, one of the greatest war leaders of our time.”

“She was on the path to becoming Olo’eykte of the Omatikaya,” He was about to interrupt her until she put her hand up, stopping him from saying anything before she finished. “It is not wise to have her as an enemy.”

“So, what, are you saying I should apologize?” He said. “I already did.”

She put a hand on her hip, clearly starting to get frustrated with her older brother. “No, you didn’t. And yes, I am telling you to go apologize to her – truthfully and sincerely this time.”

He wanted to protest against her, but she quickly tossed the basket she was holding to him. “Go now. She will be by the docks gathering materials for her family’s feast tonight.”

“But-” He tried, but Tsireya had already made up her mind in making him go in her place.

“How do you even know where she is?” He asked, his face scrunched up as he reluctantly made his way out of the marui.

“Because unlike you, I don’t treat her like an outcast. And besides, she likes me.” She said, her shoulders shrugging up at the last phrase. She smacked him on the back of his head before he was fully out of the pod, reiterating her words as he continued on his way.

He found you then, folding dried leaves into your basket. You were right where Tsireya had said you would be, sitting quietly like always. You looked at peace in your solace, your body free of any tension. Your hair was up haphazardly, free from your usual taut braids. The evening breeze had finally come, the sky going from bright blue to muted orange.

He coughed as he made his way towards you, breaking the relaxing solitude you were relishing in. You looked up, still continuing on with whatever you were doing. Your loathing stare was enough to make him fidget in his place before he finally decided to speak up.

“I, uh,” He stuttered. Actually stuttered. He cursed himself mentally before continuing. “I just wanted to say that I am sorry. Again.”

You blinked away boredly, only humming and nodding your head in response. You quickly took your basket with you as you got up, already making your way back to your pod. You didn’t want to be alone with the reef boy any longer, Eywa only knows what you’d do if he dared to provoke you once more.

“[Y/N] wait-” He said, clumsily turning as he grabbed your arm.

You hissed at him, his grip on your arm falling as soon as he saw your reaction. Right, you did not like being touched without warning. He put his arms up, trying to show that he meant no harm.

“Are you not satisfied yet, hm? Does your ego still need to be fed?” You said, eyebrows furrowing as you continued to berate him. “You won! All you wanted was a reaction, right? Well you got it!”

“No!” He argued back, annoyance starting to creep up on him. This was pointless, of course you wouldn’t be willing to accept his apology, let alone be in his presence for more than five minutes. “I am trying to apologize, please just listen-”

“Kalweyaveng,” You muttered under your breath, hand coming up to hold your forehead as you tried to calm your nerves. You had already caused one scene today, you weren’t about to start another. You took a few breaths before you finally faced him again, trying to remain nonchalant as you, aversely, heard him out.

He tried to maintain eye-contact with you, but your stare was just so deep. It felt like you were trying to burn holes into his head the longer he stared at you. You tilted your head to the side, eyebrow raised as you were clearly getting impatient in the ever growing silence.

“Let’s call a truce.” He finally breathed out, his arm already outstretched in your direction. “New beginnings.”

You looked up at him, then down to his arm, then up back to him again. You squinted, unsure if he would be able to stick to his word. Not that it mattered, you were more than capable of handling any situation if he decided to break his vow. But still, a truce was an important promise, and it needed to be held truthfully all throughout.

It was painfully awkward now, his smug demeanor vanishing the longer he stayed quiet. He cursed his sister for setting him up to this, and he cursed himself even more for agreeing. He did not have to do this, he was the chief’s son – next in line for Olo’eyktan. But, regrettably, he knew Tsireya’s words were right. You were a mighty hunter, with a legacy of powerful warriors before you. It really wouldn’t be wise to have you against him.

“Please,” He said, breaking the silence. “I swear to Eywa that I will not break this vow.”

Your ears perked up at this – swearing on the Great Mother meant that someone was serious. You scoffed, huh, he actually meant it. You took his hand then, wrapping your fingers around his forearm as you shook in agreement. Though his hands were rough, they were gentle on you as he took note of your uncomfortableness with strangers.

You never liked the feeling of touch from people you didn’t know, and you still don’t, but Ao’nung’s warmth didn’t feel as bad now than compared to before.

“Truce.” You said, slowly removing your arm away from him.

He grinned. You frowned. He stopped grinning.

He walked with you now, keeping up with your pace. “So, what now, tree girl?” He teased.

You gave him a look as if to say ‘really?’, and he shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, we are friends now, right? I can call you that?”

You stopped, turning to the side to face him. You threw him your heavy basket unexpectedly, and he stumbled back as he tried to catch it without spilling any of the contents.

“Oh yeah, we are friends now, fish lips.” You said, tone laced in sarcasm. “And since we’re friends, you can carry that for me, right?”

You continued on your way then, not waiting for his reply. He watched you for a bit as you walked ahead, and he laughed slightly.

May Eywa bless him with the strength to earn your trust.

tags┊@notsochillnerd, @avatarkv, @normspellsman, @neteyamslovrr, @kaiwritez, @tsveria, @aonungsmate

#aonung #aounung #ao'nung #ao'nung x you #ao'nung x reader #ao'nung fanfiction #ao'nung x fem!reader #ao'nung angst #ao'nung fluff #ao'nung imagine #avatar ao'nung #avatar the way of water #ao'nung atwow #avatar 2022 #avatar 2 #atwow fanfiction #avatar imagine #✎ maxi’s works #✎ maxi's requests

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ronearoundblindly · 6 months

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Hi Ro! I know I'm late to this party, but can I get B and F for Steve?

Thank you! 💜

Never too late, darling! This is tumblr, not a job 😁

This one got away with me. It got weirdly sappy for the categories asked, but I went with general Steve from no particular universe here, plus a nondescript part of the timeline or beyond, could even kinda be AU--if you squint--except Steve is definitely famous in some capacity and was small when young. (I just think he happens to look very cuff-able in this gif so we roll with it.)

These dirty asks from this game are aptly titled, so MINORS DNI.

B - Bondage

He can't exactly be tied up, not by anything commercially available, but Steve surprisingly likes the chance to sit still, take a backseat, and enjoy experiencing your enjoyment. He used to be so small. He assumed he'd never have the power he does now.

The restraints, as useless as they are, work as a calming tool to shut off his brain for a while. He's not responsible for anything. That's nice. Very freeing. The act of binding him is in itself roleplay; he's playing small and weak.

He's noticed something else, too.

Over the weeks and months you two have repeated this ritual of tying him up, and you both understand just how much it doesn't remotely hurt him, you've grown...more aggressive with the bonds. It's only when you're tying them--never an ounce of it in anything that follows--but he watches and realizes that you relieve frustration by pulling harder, knotting tighter, heaving around until their just so.

At this point, since Steve can do nothing else, he loves to see it. He's heard short and vague accounts from you, of shitty behavior, of innuendo, of back-handed compliments about how you do so well even with Steve. How his reputation must boost you. How you don't have to work so hard or be good because he'll carry you. How your accomplishments are all tied to him somehow.

It's not true, but they say it. They mean it. Steve can do nothing but let you physically yoke him down in your life, even for a few minutes. The weight it seems to lift from your shoulders is worth any momentary sting he might feel.

No. Steve doesn't mind the bonds at all. He even hates that you can't restrain him for real. He wishes he could give you that. Then people might see that you're just that powerful and you've always been that strong. He had nothing to do with it.

Okay, one sec, let me pull myself together here. YIKES.

IT BECAME ITS OWN FIC! [Entwined]

F - Food Play

[Fools Rush In Steve a.k.a. Sketch is notoriously anti-crumbs-in-the-bed, so he is 1000% not a part of this convo. Sorry, bub.]

YUP. Steve loves to feed you. It's a care thing. He always wants your opinion of all the food on the table, so you have to try everything. Here! Try this. The fork is already by your lips and he's smiling eagerly.

In the bedroom? Oh yes, he is very fond of licking sweet things off you and having them licked off him. It's one of the things that seems to tickle Steve the most--body and soul--and it's so playful. He even gets to lean into having a fast metabolism and needing calories after his workouts. If he drizzles honey or chocolate syrup on you, or hilariously fizzes too much whipped cream out of the canister he has not gotten the hang of yet, then that's a snack and a half. That's multitasking. That's just good time management, ya know?

Savory stuff is for meals and the table though. There's none of that that gets played with during sex. He's never outright said that's a rule, but it seems obvious when there's never been a crossover event.

Super random shout out to Steve having a bit of a thing for champagne and licking it off your neck after he deliberately splashes or pours it there. The bubbles tickle like hell and the cold is so shocking, but whatever, he loves it.

🙄

Thank you for asking!

Ack, I can feel in my bones that the bondage one might end up as a one shot. I am in so much trouble.

[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

#ro answers #dirty asks #ask game #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x reader smut #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x you

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m1ssunderstanding · 7 months

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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.3

Yoko, you're hilarious. Sirens going off in her brain. “Alert! They're into childhood bedroom crush confessions territory. Redirect! Redirect!”

But also I find them so ridiculous. All the men in this. Is it just a case of men always assuming women are talking more than they are? Because I am definitely not hearing Yoko talking for John here. Or is this a rare case?

Paul’s scouse getting progressively thicker as the argument intensifies. Trying to finish his point as John's interrupting him. “But. Bot! Boot!! I do think –”Ugh it's so sexy. Sorry, anyway.

Paul's pep talk to John is super cute, but what does he mean, exactly? “we would actually all have dug to see you kick that telephone box in.” What is this metaphor? What does he want John to break? Or does he just mean John should act out more?

Okay but in this interview, she's definitely doing 90% of the talking even when the interviewer specifically asks just John. So if that's how they are in meetings or whatever then okay I could see that being frustrating.

Ow. Fuck. Hate that moment.

John: another Lennon/McCartney original entitled “All I Want is You”. Paul: Allan Wanna Too . . . Al Aronovitz. John: Al Aronovitz if you'll Aronovitz. We'll both Aronovitz together. Ugh sometimes you can just hear the voices in their heads being like “no don't tell him you like his song, that's pathetic! God, you're such a loser for even thinking it.” And sometimes . . . It's this. There's no in between.

John knows if Paul's singing “Darling” he's talking to him. Look at his expression as he's watching Paul sing “stand by me Darling, Darling.”

“Dig it” is actually insane. Paul: if you want it, you can get it. You can get it if you can dig it up. John: I can hardly keep my hands still. John: if you want it all you gotta do is ask for it. Paul: (intermittent with John, starts a crescendo of “yeah. Yeah! Yeah! YEAH!” and “want it. Want it. Want it. Want it.”) John continues: Nicely. Say pretty please and you're gonna get it. You're gonna get it alright, you're gonna get it. This time you're gonna get it good!

The looks as they're making fun of something important to him. Poor George.

See and here's the thing. If George knows basically what happened in India (which from this quote that's what I'm deducing) then Paul knows. You know?

Okay you know the “I love you, blue” moment from Get Back? I was feeling so devastated for John that there was no response to that and someone very smart pointed out in the tags that this moment could be interpreted as Paul's coded reply which I think is a lovely idea. And seems legit especially since John responds with song lyrics.

Paul: no that's good, that one. John: okay, tick it. Paul: I Love that one. John: thank you. Paul: I really do. John: I enjoy it too sometimes.

Peter Jackson why didn't you include these bits in your film? Huh? Huh? Was it because it was too homosexuality for you?

John's voice singing “you can imitate anyone you know” over teeny clips of Paul doing about fifty different impressions. It's so phenomenal.

John's “pleeeeeheeeease” actually makes me want to cry. He's begging with everything he's got. It's like he's a baby, really truly, and it physically hurts. If I was the one he was talking to in that song, I don't know if I could survive.

But Paul is sure. They're stuck. He can't give John what he wants.

Yoko tries to give John a kiss and he's so harsh. “Stop it!” If my boy ever talked to me like that . . . Let's just say I wouldn't be sitting with him at work anymore.

And then he's laying with his head in her lap, laughing madly with Paul. See what I mean? If Paul would just let John lay in his lap, I guarantee Yoko would not be there.

A coded exchange PJ left out. You can tell when they start to talk in code just by their tone. Suddenly they're a bit more even-keeled, a bit slower, clearer in their speech. Paul: achieve something every day. It may in theory sound silly, but . . . John: in practice . . . Paul: it's even sillier. But in practice, it's all there is. John: this is where it's at. Paul: this is where it's at unless that is where it's at. John: this is where it's at now. Paul: teamwork. A good defense. John: you play ball with me and I'll play ball with you. Paul: could be learning something instead of this you know.

There's a reason Let it Be is played at funerals, folks.

Is it just me or has Paul literally never looked uglier? Linda's a babe, though. John and Yoko both look cool and hot ASF.

Again, the song choices. “Goodbye (Paul's Version. From the Vault.)” Played over the double wedding footage? Okay. Goodbye, my love.

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison #yoko ono #linda eastman #understanding lennon mccartney #ulm

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sundragon · 8 months

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I goofed and actually looked at someone's blog before responding to them. Naturally they had proshippers and endogenic systems in their DNI, and I didn't want to interact with that kind of nonsense. But the topic is still good so I'm gonna post it separately.

On the subject of phantom limbs, and if/how you can force yourself to have them.

This is just my own hypothesis, and I'm sure some people wouldn't agree with it, but I think that anyone could learn to induce phantom limbs to some degree. This is something happening in the brain, not from a magical/external source that you have to be lucky with.

In my experience, it's mindfulness extended outside the boundaries of your physical body. With enough repetition, you can strengthen the neural pathways until it becomes nearly automatic. When I was 15, I had trouble even understanding how my tail moved properly and how it was scaled to fit my current body. I'm 32, and I can feel every twitch it makes. I can nearly count the scales on it. I can even visualize the musculature underneath. It's just taken years of working with it. Same with the rest of my phantom body.

Whatever you do, don't go into it with frustration and anger. Approach yourself like a shy critter and be patient + respectful. If something comes to mind automatically, follow it. If you have to prompt it by thinking of what you suspect should be there, do that and see where it goes. Hell, try both. The point is to use your brain. This is an exercise.

And if you're aware of phantom parts already, use them regularly. Use them like you would the rest of your physical body. Spread your wings and flap them, slowly and quickly. Stretch your legs and forelegs, unsheathe your claws and retract them again. If you're an aquatic thing and can swim somewhere, do it, and put your fins into it. Take a walk outside, uphill, dig your hooves into the rocks and dirt. Whatever you've got, don't let it stagnate. Your mind knows they're there, but a muscle neglected will just atrophy.

#otherkind #therianthropy #otherkin

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captainmera · 7 months

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Depression has hit me really hard, and a lot of things are happening at the same time.

I'm simultaneously burnt out and on the verge of a collapse, but like... I can't really do anything about it. I'm just sort of waiting for the stick to break so I can work thru it and move along.

I can't even focus on important things like replying to mails without my brain circumventing into something else.

Avpd and burnout is putting me in a constant brain fog these days. And severe maladaptive daydreaming.

I'm trying to be social and grounded, but I feel like everything around me is drowned in mist, and when I speak, it's through molasses.

I know I'm disappointing ppl by putting certain things on hold, like fanfics, my comic, or asks. But I just can't do it r/n. it will come in whatever speed it comes at.

And frankly I'm just too fried and tired to extend more than a sigh of empathy to your frustration with me. I understand you, I do. But I'm just some guy. I'm not getting paid. I'm broke and tired, and I can't be arsed to even be upset.

Atm, I'm doing this Caleb-focused comic mainly just to do something else than hyperventilate or maladaptive daydream. It's helping me have some control over what I disappear into, something physical, rather than sit on the floor and stare off into space.

I could do it for ibwr, I should be putting that energy there.

But there's some stressful things going on there with contracts and whatnot that's put a damper on things. Money is stressful. At least a stressful damper. So it's difficult to concentrate on it with that humming in the background, y'know?

Anyway.

Bear with me, please. I know people are impressed by my productivity and speed - but it's not so impressive once you know I'm just unwell and trying to cope. I also have a lot of time on my hands.

I'm fine, really, I am. /GEN I just can't do four projects at once. I can do two tops. And right now it's the caleb comic and IBWR. That's it.

I'm aware it's not super great to work so much when I'm burnt out.

But know that I'm choosing one pest lesser than another greater pest. So the constant "REST!!" Comments aren't, like, fantastic. I just feel ashamed for not being better than I am or being able to practice what I preach.

Lo and behold, being mentally unwell and not being wholesome healthy about it. Who would've known it is complicated to be unwell, actually? /LHJ /GEN /notSarcasm

I know I don't owe anybody anything. But I just kinda wanted to have a sigh and vague-post-gesture at what I'm standing in to the void of the Internet.

Because I do get comments and asks asking where an update is, or why I didn't draw their ask, or why I'm putting energy in X instead of Y, etc.

So I'm just......... I'm just gonna like....... ignore it. It's not personal.

I love and appreciate your love for my work, I really do. Thank you for all of your excitement and your feedback. Its been a delight. /GEN

But... I'm just gonna have to ignore what the majority of people crave from me and do what I want in the pace I need to do it.

okay? :(

Look. Just allow it fam.

Just allow it.

Using memes to try to communicate some essence of lightheartedness.

#liveblogging

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loser-female · 1 year

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Math masterpost!

So you want to learn math. Good. Math is amazing. I studied physics for two years and I miss it SO MUCH. Learning math isn't just cool, but it's a great way to improve skills such as:

Resilience: sometimes you will get stuck for a while on a problem - this is absolutely normal for college-level problems. You won't start from here though;

Self confidence: mastering a subject known to be difficult is fun;

Problem solving: you will be less likely to just sit down and do nothing if something comes up in your life, you will be able to try to find a solution.

It will change your approach to failure as you will become more flexible in your thinking.

Unfortunately most people never learn how to properly study math. We all probably know how to study a book over humanities. We start by reading the material, then we take notes of the keypoints. But this method doesn't work with math, and math teachers often don't really know either.

For the basics I've made this post here. To sum it up:

Please don't start with "but i suck at it". Because then your brain will actually prevent you from learning (self-fulfilling prophecy, anyone?);

Realise that you need to master one topic before covering the next one or you won't be able to progress;

Really, the methods you use for things like literature or psychology or whatever won't work

Now I'm not a genius, I always was and I always be a terrible student. I have adhd, depression and chronic pain, all of which add a difficulty layer with learning.

I feel like most people fail because of the first point. I've seen this with people I've tutored IRL, people I try to fix their pc... Don't be the person that gives up before trying because no one likes that. Just don't. Remember that you are learning on your own and no one is going to grade your excercises. Now take that and make a poster out of iy.

Now, resources Where To Find The Stuff.

Khan Academy. I didn't follow this courses becuase well, university, physics, but everyone references them.

Professor Leonard

The Math Sorcerer

3b1b (curiosities in math)

Vsauce2 (fun)

numberphile (this for understanding math memes)

r/learnmath resources are great!

A great study method

Proofs? Proofs.

A 3 page document on learning math (but it's cool)

Terry Tao's famous post "there is more in mathematics about rigour and proofs"

Remember that, even if you don't like a specific youtuber, source or anything it has been a while since college and high school teachers started to upload their own material. Generally, looking for like "calculus pdf" will give you a lot of resources. Youtube is full of university courses of every kind and it's so good to access all of this knowledge for free. I cannot recommend you anything regarding textbooks because I still have my high school one. Also yes, i've used the Rudin as a complementary textbook in university but that's a bit too much.

I really, really want to emphasize the mentality part. Leaning formula is useless if you feel like garbage because you weren't able to solve the first exercise you picked up after a decade not doing anything.

My personal and sparce advice:

Unless you have dyscalculia don't use the calculator. I know, I KNOW. But this "lazyness" will make everything 10 times more difficult.

Beware about overlearning. Basically, when you solve everything at the first attempt and you keep doing the same thing over and over because it feels good, but the truth is that you are wasting time. This is the time to move forward.

Try to differentiate between a knowledge error(did I actually study the subject?), a conceptual error (did I understand the material), or a mere calculation/distraction error (fo example a missing sign, writing the wrong thing etc)

Try to solve the problems in different ways if you can.

After a certain time, It will be useful to review things done in the past, (ref: spaced repetition method).

Write everything down. Reasonings, steps etc. It will be easier for you to review them.

This posts keep crashing so I have to call it quits now.

but:

have fun

#resources #learn something #math

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blueberrymuffinmassacre · 1 year

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So The Amazing Digital Circus has latched onto my brain like a particularly stubborn tick so now I gotta share a theory of mine from the Pilot.

Considering it's all, indeed, digital and the mental health of its occupants ties to their stability, I bet their avatars are near direct reflections of themselves and their issues/flaws, albeit with a filter to fit the Fun, Child Friendly Aesthetic of the Circus.

Pomni is a classic rendition of a Jester. A Court Fool. Her eyes are incredibly expressive and even change to scribbles, hollow circles, or pure black depending on her mental state.

She likely views her life as a joke, or views herself as the punchline of a joke. She's a Fool. Whether this is due to perceived incompetence, an inability to "grow up", or simply considers herself to be lesser than her peers.

I do however use the above picture on purpose. She's an absolute nervous wreck 99% of the time, but stops while being chased by a monster and is stunned by her own reflection. That isn't a look of fear or confusion, it's awe. Something about her avatar struck a cord with her and seemed right. I personally subscribe to the theory of her being transgender and experiencing a small bout of gender euphoria amidst the horrors thanks to a post made by one demilypyro.

Jax is a Cartoon Rabbit. Not really terribly much to say about the design itself other than it being very rubber-hose animation in its proportions and the seeming default smug expression.

Jax is an asshole. He plays pranks in bad faith, is incredibly snarky and dry even to someone in distress, and doesn't seem to overly care about the others well being.

"I'm fine with doing whatever, as long as I get to see funny things happen to people." It makes sense his avatar would take a similar look to another wise-cracking cartoon rabbit we all know. He also seems the most content to actually be in the Circus itself. Considering it can let him do all manner of things to others, from the lethal to the physically impossible, he might consider it better than reality.

Ragatha is literally just raggedy ann. A patchwork doll.

She seems to be the most outwardly kind of the individuals in the circus, showing patience and understanding with Pomni even when in distress, though she clearly has a limit to said patience.

I think it's safe to assume Ragatha has been through a lot of shit for her avatar to make her seem patchwork. Which is to say, damaged multiple times and repaired each time, leaving clear marks of the repairs like scars.

Zooble is a mess of individual parts slammed together in an approximation of a humanoid shape. Like someone took dozens of pieces from all sorts of toys and put them together into an amalgam.

Gooseworx has stated they have no idea what they're even suppose to be. This can and likely does include gender, but probably includes their entire identity as a whole. Or rather, their lack of one.

For whatever reason, be it alienation, isolation, or any number of potential causes; Zooble doesn't know who they are or what they want to be. No ambitions, no dreams, no real self identity. This makes their avatar manifest as a mess that also doesn't know what it wants to be, so is a little bit of everything.

Gangle is most insubstantial, their body almost entirely a ribbon. The key part of their avatar is the mask: Comedy and Tragedy. And it seems in the few instances it's not broken, they always try to wear the comedy mask over top the tragedy mask.

Gangle's behavior makes me think she's the youngest of the individuals, at least mentally. As for the masks, something about her circumstances in life made her feel the need to put on a facade of joy. Maybe to live up to expectations, or to hide her true feelings to avoid worrying others. As an avatar, this seems to have become literal: She seems to only be happy with the mask on and discontent at best with it off/broken.

Kinger is a White King Chess Piece.

He's a forgetful paranoiac who, according to the characters, has been present in the Circus for the longest amount of time. He seems to forget where people are and what he's doing quite a bit.

In a moment of lucidity near the end, he goes in depth about how the food they eat is just simulated, and how they provide the sensation of eating despite not being real. It's also worth mentioning the ground floor of the circus is a Chess Board.

I believe Kinger is/was at least partially in charge of creating the Circus. His avatar is a walking symbol of authority, a reflection on his standing within the digital space rather than his current mental state. Perhaps the avatar was more fitting when he first entered the Circus, aware of its intricacies and rules, but has long since forgotten such things.

We don't see Kaufmo while he's uh. Normal. But we do see pictures of what he did look like: A Clown.

From the dialogue of other characters like Ragatha and Gangle, he seemed to actually try and play the role of clown during his time in the Circus, even if he wasn't terribly funny.

Kaufmo likely found himself to be a clown in reality. Maybe he was a clown in the literal sense. Or maybe he just saw himself as a funny, quirky guy to be around even if he was none of those things.

Finally, we have what happens when someone goes completely plum insane.

The Avatars are based on mental scans of the individual made to fit the aesthetic of the circus. an Abstraction is what happens when said software tries to read a mind that has no logic or reasoning left. There's nothing to find, no basis of personality, no base to work with. So in confusion the avatar becomes a glitched mess, trying and failing to find a shape within the madness to settle into.

Kinger seems to be insane, yet they're stable, because there is still an individual underneath the neurosis. There's nothing left of Kaufmo at this point: Just a cyclone of emotions inside a broken human mind.

That's the theory, anyway. It's a fucking pilot I could be entirely wrong.

#The amazing digital circus #tadc #tadc theory #Long Post

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transmutationisms · 1 year

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I feel like this is likely a bat to a hornet's nest topic but I deeply respect your takes and thoughts overall a lot so here goes: I really appreciate that the show frankly goes out of its way to not pathologize its characters and lets the audience sit with them in the context of their own lives. So I'm kind of baffled that so much focus is given to "diagnosing" them in fan discussions, the vast brunt of which Kendall gets. I don't understand how you can watch this show and understand him as someone who's been heavily abused and had his reactions to being abused weaponized against him and come away being like "wow it's so cringe he acts like that, he must have a brain disease and is just too stupid to understand that. every action he takes is because he is manic/depressed/letting the disease manifest. if only he took the good moral Legal drugs that I do instead of the ontologically bad ones that are Illegal and for dirty addicts. hopefully one day he will Get Help and Receive Treatment so he will be more palatable (no whatever he's done up to this point doesn't count because it didn't work which must inherently be due to his own moral failings)." How did a show like this attract so many Reganites??

bat at a hornets' nest yes. yeah i've said before that i dislike diagnosing fictional characters as a general rule. it's tautological ("they do [x] because they have [y], and they have [y] because they do [x]") and abrogates further analysis of their motives or the meanings of their actions. and it's doubly irksome to me with succession, because unlike a lot of tv, i genuinely don't think that it's written within the weltanschauung of dsm neurobio determinism. ie, it's not a show where the answer to "why did he do that?" is ever supposed to be "his brain is just like that"—these actions are supposed to mean something about what the character wants and needs, and the effect of the capitalist milieu on those things. it's psychological, not psychiatric (& of course, psychoanalytic approaches are common in formal literary studies, whereas blunt psychiatric diagnosis is decidedly less so).

with kendall's drug use there are some particularly irritating ways this all plays out. i've been fiddling with my own reading emphasising the context of logan's demands on kendall and the construction of bourgeois masculinity, and have tried to place kendall's drug use as a response to neoliberal control mechanisms à la deleuze or foucault. i could certainly be challenged on elements of this reading, but what i see on this website is generally just an endless slog of very biomedicalised reads that seem to have no awareness of the particular historical and social baggage present in that model. i do agree there's an element of reactionary DARE-esque moralising going on here (stg if i have to read one more post written by someone who, like, has never so much as met a coke user and thinks all drugs instantaneously give you irreversible morally weighted heart damage, lmao), but it's honestly not just that.

i think most of the time when people do this they're not trying to be reactionary or regressive, and often they not only don't believe themselves to be moralising affective distress, but actually think the dsm diagnosis is the way to avoid that type of moralisation. this is essentially the "it's a discrete disease entity, so they have no control over it and can't help it, so it's not their fault" argument. in practice this fails on many levels. for one thing, it often implicitly assumes that 'ending the stigma' requires any kind of mental disability or affective distress to be treated analogously to physical disability or illness, as though those latter are not also consistently stigmatised and moralised—because ableism is actually more complex than that and has to do with the fact that capitalism values people on the basis of the 'use' it can make of them and their bodies, etc etc. it is also, again, a wildly decontextualised understanding of affective distress, the reasons why people use drugs—including in a manner that feels compulsive and out of control—and so forth.

i'll add also that wrt succession, i actually do see a LOT of pathologisation thrown at roman as well, and more than an incidental amount directed at connor, tom, shiv, and logan. which is to say, i don't think this is solely about people's discomfort with addicts. there's a broad tendency among fans, echoing the even broader social tendency, to see medical diagnosis as personally liberatory, and medicine and psychiatry as passing 'objective' judgments that are necessary in order for a person to 'get better.' this is essentially positivism and is very much a status that the medical profession has fought to obtain (in france you can trace certain 18th-century discourses on national decline, aristocratic luxury, and the corrupting influence of the city -> the birth of clinical medicine after the first revolution -> social hygiene and the pathologisation of the parisian urban poor -> the third republic's 'physician-legislators' and the general class status and professionalisation of medicine; i know less about the gory details of the american and british cases simply by dint of what i do professionally).

we tend to forget these histories when talking about science; it presents itself as a set of timeless, incontrovertible truths that are simply waiting to be uncovered, and we have entire industries of science communication and journalism that propagate this view. which is to say, circling back to succession, i don't believe that most people diagnosing and pathologising these characters are trying to be reactionary or are aware that there are reactionary and moralising elements inherently built into these discourses. i think they're largely people who have not been given the tools to see alternatives, like the perspectives dominant in the history and sociology of science, which are very much kept paywalled and inaccessible on purpose because this is profitable for the academe.

this type of popular literary analysis is simply not going to go anywhere as long as this is still the status and the moral resonance of medicine (and psychiatry by extension because it gained its professional independence without sacrificing the appeal to medico-scientific epistemological authority). i don't think succession viewers are any more or less prone to this type of thinking than the general population they exist amongst. i firmly disagree with this attitude, obviously, and like i said, i don't actually think succession is written 'psychiatrically,' which cannot be said for all tv lol. but i more or less expect to encounter this type of deference to medico-psychiatric judgments in 95% of social interactions and contexts, again because of a combination of institutional control of information, other forms of inaccessibility, and physicians' and psychiatrists' advocacy for their own class and professional interests, both historically and ongoing today.

#psychiatry

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kindredtarot · 1 year

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❛❛What you need to balance right now?❜❜

› ♡˖°꒰ Pick a pile

✦; Pile : 1 ˎˊ˗❞

6 of swords, 10 of pentacles, 7 of stones, queen of arrows, 2 of cups.

“I'm just really fuckin' selfish and really fuckin' lost. But someone loved me, someone fucking loved me. Someone fucking loved me and I fuckin' loved them too. Goddamn it, I was worth something, I fuckin' learned something. I had my cake (I ate it, it ate me too and, God, no)” — Feel Better by Penelope Scott

You need to balance your timely actions and patience. It looks like you are transitioning to a new stage in your life because you want to advance and achieve what you want. Are you choosing to leave behind old relationships? Probably a hard decision emotionally, but something you felt you had to do to protect yourself. “Can’t heal in the same environment that wounds me”. You want stability, finally. Maybe you want it before but insisted to try having it with people that wouldn’t give it to you. But now you are making steps towards it, starting with the choice to move on. You want to have a stable foundation financially and/or with your family, a place that you can actually call home and mot having to worry about having to protect yourself and your feelings 24/7. And you can get it, you just need to have patience with your healing journey.

You are going in the right direction. I know leaving people that you really cared about hurts and it might take some months or a year, but continue to take care of yourself, physically, emotionally, and mentally. It’s okay to let your mind remember and miss past moments sometimes, and to cry your heart out. Blocking those things would just make it harder in the long run, and you might already know that deep down. Resting and not doing nothing doesn’t mean your are giving up, take your time to get ready to continue towards what you want. Taking care of yourself will clear your mind and would help you communicate better and making better decisions towards your relationships with others and your possessions/money. I can see your relationships improving, with yourself and others, actual soul-touching connections. Maybe you always wanted a soul family, a group of friends that were like family or a healthy family life, whatever it was, I can see this area of your life improving and beautifully too. Just take priority and improve your relationship with yourself first and foremost, so you are ready with strong boundaries and understanding of what you truly want to start deep connections with others too.

✦; Pile : 2 ˎˊ˗❞

page of wands, 3 of pentacles, death, the tower, queen of pentacles, 3 of wands in reverse.

“Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky", the craftsmanship of their bones, their brain, and their body. When I look into the mirror for too long it hurts, they don't track how many steps it takes to burn off dessert. Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky". I'll let 'em take accountability. For everything that's wrong with me. Can't hold myself responsible. So I'll blame the metaphysical. If Jesus died for all our sins. He left one behind, the body I'm in. Same hands that made the moon and the stars. Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts” — God must hate me by Catie Turner

You need to balance how you view others vs yourself. You might put people in a pedestal and put yourself down unconsciously. You seem to be someone with so many ideas and plans, wild imagination! (You might be an artist). Someone that sees the “impossible” and is sure it could become possible! A really exciting and active person, whether that’s physically or mentally. You might like working in group or just admire people. They seems really interesting, so many new perspective. And they are talented too, in their own way. Maybe your achievements don’t seem as valuable to you just because you are admiring other people that seem to just have everything else you want. You have a lot too, in your life you were resilient. You sometimes might think you are giving up too easily but you are resilient. You are still going, aren’t you? Still trying or planning to get better and get to your goals. Don’t forget to look back to your past to realize how far you’ve come, how much you had learned. Just because all the things you had achieve aren’t as visible to others like what you see outside of yourself, doesn’t mean they don’t exist or are less.

Others seems so cool to you, and forget you are cool too. Do you have a lot of unfinished projects? So many ideas but maybe don’t fully follow through with them. And others seem to have their shit together already, finishing what they started. Instead of discouraging yourself, try observing the things you admire from those people and take what could help you keep going. Maybe you have problems with planning your projects or stay stuck on just planning instead of actually starting them. This unbalance in your views of others and yourself has to “die” to start building something better that would work for you. It won’t be easy to fix something that got stuck so deep in your subconscious but it is possible! It would make you feel really frustrated or confuse at the start, because a lot of beliefs that you had would be breaking and making you rethinks them and what you are doing with your actions. And that’s okay! Because you would understand yourself better and see you for who you truly are. A really cool creative person. You would nourishing more your creative mind, projects, and collaborations with people. You would start to work as a team, truly this time, because you would finally see yourself just as valuable as those who you admire are. And you would also go through your projects, because you would commit to them now. I can see you caring so much more about your projects in a practical way, and growing success and financial stability because of it. You might have setbacks after committing with your projects because you don’t really know how to advance with them, but those setbacks are gonna be temporary, so have patience with yourself. Every mistakes teaches a lesson, remember them for any future obstacle. And remember to ask for help when you need it too!

✦; Pile : 3 ˎˊ˗❞

5 of swords, ace of wands, 4 of cups, ace of pentacles, 10 of swords.

“Spider-boy, king of thieves. Weave your little webs of opacity. My pennies made your crown. Trick me once, trick me twice. Don't you know that cash ain't the only price? It's coming back around. And I keep my side of the street clean. You wouldn't know what I mean. 'Cause karma is my boyfriend. Karma is a god. Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend. Karma's a relaxing thought. Aren't you envious that for you it's not? Sweet like honey, karma is a cat. Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me. Flexing like a goddamn acrobat. Me and karma vibe like that” — Karma by Taylor Swift

You need to balance your thoughts, desires, and actions. You have to stop acting with your ego. Stop playing with your luck… I feel like you could have so many things but you might be impulsive and make moves that you know you shouldn’t be doing because they aren’t planned or because it might be tripping someone else and not even getting you nothing valuable at the end of it. You might be a little stubborn about this, maybe prefer not to follow “rules” or are scare of doing so because you think it might not work for you? Instead of making risky decision that barely give you anything or sometimes nothing at all. Try taking your time planning and making decision that even if they succeed or not, they would still level you up.

You have so much potential and a vision as well. But you can’t just go about it without planning nothing at all! Like trying to make a spark into a fire. You need to blow towards the spark correctly, if you don’t, you lose it and you don’t get the fire. And then your motivation is left on the cold. I understand the frustration, but don’t forget about what you have already. You can try to create a fire in the first place because you have the materials already. And you might receive a lot of opportunities that could help you but you don’t take them seriously because they aren’t up to your expectations or because you rush into them without thinking in what ways they could be helpful to you. Whatever it is, you are self sabotaging. You could help yourself up towards what you wants or you could destroy everything on your way. You actions are part of you, so think them through. You are constantly stabbing yourself with fear. Getting overwhelm and falling from exhaustion. Remember, the only thing that you can control is your actions and reactions. So don’t give power to fear and anxiety. Once you release that, you can hold your own power yourself and utilize it to make the right decisions. On choosing what you want, how you want it and how you are going to get it.

Don’t be scare of your potential and stop unleashing your decisions on others. karma might comeback later on to bite you in the back, but play your cards right and it could be your biggest helper! Just keep going and focus on doing better.

#pick a pile #pick a card #tarot reading #intuitive readings #spirituality #channeled reading #channeled message #pac #tarot community #free tarot

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