#whatdoesthisdreammean

[sleepysheepd]

Finding You

…

Ok this dream was vividly concerning. Not only was I pregnant but my partner was badly hurt. Oh my future days of being pregnant still remains a mystery.

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I started to dream people gathering, getting out of their cars, parking where this hotel was it seems. I saw people I knew and some local people I might not know. I noticed it was a gender reveal party for my baby.

The baby is a boy, and I remember going up in front with my partner for everyone to see. My partner and I were to announce the gender of our baby although I wasn’t ready. I kept telling him on our way up to the front not to tell them yet. And I felt a sudden regret that our baby was a boy. I kept telling him not to announce it. And pleaded more. But he let out the reveal like a grand finale to an orchestra concert. And I just remember feeling sick and upset. I felt betrayed and invisible and inadequate. I remember looking around after and seeing everyone happy and cheering. But I wasn’t happy. I did a terrible thing and tried to get their attention by fainting and at that point I realized I fainted on my stomach. I was upset, but only because none seemed to notice and continued to celebrate. I don’t know why Hurting myself and my baby was okay. I think I passed out after.

Next thing I know I got up from the ground, and I felt a scar on my head. How did I get that? I thought. Then I immediately thought of my bf. Where is he? I hope hes okay? I just felt waves of emotion, worry, and guilt.

In my dream I tried not to worry. And I think I found a way to see into the future. I don’t remember how but when I did, I visioned the worst case scenario, which I saw him hurt himself badly. And then I visioned the best case scenario, which was finding him and saving him. And thats what I wanted to do.

I desperately looked around and I saw a group of boys/men who I thought new my bf. I went to then and I asked one guy where he might be. Although they seemed busy in a group conversation to care, one guy mentioned eventually that my bf could be in the bathroom.

That was it. I went rushing to the bathroom. I didn’t care about anything else. The guilt and worry of something bad felt overpowering. I did not know where the bathroom was. And it was a long way there.

As I was speed walking through the halls, i noticed a girl, an old classmate of mine. I felt like she saw me but tried to avoid me and kept walking away. But she glanced back. And in my dream I just thought - follow her. She walked to the mens bathroom, then quickly walked passed and exited away from me.

The bathrooms and everything about that place seemed fancy. It felt like I was at a fancy hotel at that point. You know, like a hotel with a penthouse floor?

When I walked into the mens bathroom I noticed the bathroom doors reached from floor to ceiling and the ceiling was tall and high. I didnt care about going into the mens bathroom either, even though I was afraid to get caught. I just barged in at that point. And I heard one person only and thought that was him. I heard a thud or something and I just barged through his door.

I saw my bf sad and upset and his face seemed beat up. I immediately thought he hurt himself. And I felt sad with him. “Im sorry” i said, with the most heavy heart. I put hands on the checks of his face. I was relieved to find finally find him. I tried to comfort him and said sorry over and over. I felt so bad. But I was so happy I found him and kept him from any danger. He hugged me in the end and I felt that he was happy that I was looking for him.

…

This dream was so vivid. I never want to feel this way ever. And I would never feel bad about the gender of my baby. I told my bf when I woke up and he was also asking about the baby. He said, “what happened to the baby?” I laughed and told him, “I was worried more about finding you” but now I realized that although it was all a dream, the baby was the one that got hurt. That moment made me realize something more important. That when you love someone, the precious things you create together becomes more important than yourselves.

Is that what love is?