#what's the point of 'live action' if your cgi is so bad it still looks like a cartoon
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Me reading the words "live-action remake" in any context:
#my other useless posts#mikey's misadventures#what's the point of 'live action' if your cgi is so bad it still looks like a cartoon#it's just so tiresome#entertainment news and trailers used to cheer me up a little. now im just like 'ugh. what are they remaking now'
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It isn’t all the filmmaker’s fault that all we’re getting is second-rate remakes and sequels to franchises that should’ve been left alone a long time ago.
We don’t have a clear idea of why we like the things we like. So we don’t clearly communicate why we like the things we like. So it’s no wonder Hollywood keeps getting your favorite movies and their characters wrong. The fans don’t even know why they like what they like.
When Genie is set free in the original Aladdin, that moment was impactful, and you remembered it all through childhood. When Luke tosses the lightsaber away and says “I am a Jedi, like my father before me,” it was impactful, and you remembered it.
But did you stop and analyze why? What made those moments, and those stories, impactful?
Did you say, “Genie wished to be free for the whole movie, and he was always trying to tell Aladdin about how freedom only comes from trusting, and he was learning to trust Al himself, and Aladdin finally DID trust Jasmine to still want him even if he wasn’t rich, so he set Genie free in the most satisfying way!”
Did you say, “Luke spent all previous movies rushing into fights, and trying to control everything to save the ones he loves, but when he finally has his enemy at his mercy and is at the height of his power, he realizes that being a Jedi isn’t rushing and fighting and controlling; it’s having faith in the good and throwing your opportunity for control away.”
Did you think through and appreciate that stuff? The values? The point of the whole story, and how the characters act as pillars holding that point up? The good and the bad things that they embody?
No. Not out loud. Because we don’t think critically anymore. We just go “what’s this? Entertain me. Oooh, I felt something! Good! Next!”
The why behind what you like is the only value in liking anything.
But we don’t look objectively at the “why.” We don’t dwell on the “why.” If we dwell on anything, it’s to superimpose ourselves or whatever we like onto the characters.
You think Barbie was hyping feminism because you like feminism, and because you felt things during Barbie. You write fanfiction about Eddie Munson that has nothing to do with what Eddie Munson actually is as a character—because you like love stories, and you felt some compelling emotions when you saw Eddie Munson onscreen, so you’ve decided that those things should go together. You take something that made you feel emotions while you watched the canon material, then you don’t bother to process those emotions or what made the canon material compelling. You just slap whatever you already think you like onto something that made you feel, whether it had anything to do with what you like or not.
You eat the apple and benefit from it without knowing, at all, what nutrients are inside. Then when someone offers you crap and tells you it’s apple-flavored, you wonder why you’re not feeling the same way afterward.
Then you misdiagnose. You say “no, I don’t wonder why I’m not feeling the same—it’s because the CGI in live-action remakes suck!” Okay, great, so they’ll get better CGI. And it’ll still suck. Because that was never the problem, just like the reasons you liked the movie were never the reasons it actually impacted you in the first place.
Figure out. WHY. You like what you like. Figure out if it’s because the stories said what their creators objectively intended for them to say—or if you like the story in spite of that, not because of that.
Then open your mouth about it. It is worth it.
#Me#writing#remakes#Star Wars#Luke Skywalker#genie#Robin Williams#will smith#Aladdin#live action Aladdin#live action Disney#live action remakes#Hollywood#state of the fandom#fandom#Musing#rambles#Remakes suck#Remakes#remake#movies#media#Eddie Munson#headcanons#Barbie
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Bakuage 12: dorudoru!
I truly cant get enough of these guys. I really enjoy how aloof they are most of the time before they remember they should be terrorizing people. I also love how often they change locations to hang out in, i hope they get a permanent base though i almost feel bad for them
Ive only watched one episode of Go-Onger before but it was still an enjoyable episode. Speedor was so cute, i truly enjoy the puppetry that simply involves jostling a little toy slightly in your hand. Its always so cute... Also the stickers for the eyes to convey expression, augh so cute!!!! Its like that meme of the cat getting mad eyebrows.
His hair is so red!!! Shockingly red!!! As i said ive only watched one episode of Go-Onger but he definitely didnt have hair this red! It was shocking but its so good too, it really fits him. I read on the production blog that he just suddenly showed up to set with his hair like this and the director just gave up...
Actually after watching the episode i looked up Furuhara and it seems playing Sosuke in Go-Onger completely changed the trajectory of his life forever and i think he kins him for real and not jokes... Which is great for ad-libs, which he did a lot in this episode apparently! Live your truth king.
After watching Jou-kun stuff his cheeks (and pockets) with all sorts of sweets like a squirrel it was refreshing to remember he is a very nice police officer who can be serious about his job like this. It was really good, he has many strong points! Im looking forward to the next Jou-centric episode.
Back to the topic of puppetry, but the Kurumaju using its hand to move the mouth to flap it while speaking was really fun, it seems like a lot of work!
The action in this episode was really good!! I love that were still learning more and more about everyone's individual fighting styles. Bunorange hooking his leg on the Nejiretta here was really good, hes a very leg focused fighter, which i really enjoy.
The sharpshooter Bunblue did some incredible tricks with his weapon too!! So flashy!! Youre so bakuage inside Chasshiro!!! The Pink and Red joint action was really fun too, i love to see heroes playing off each other during fights, and Mira really excels at it!!
I love everyones different reactions to getting stuck. BunBlue just started blasting... I really liked that Red just looked around perplexed at everyone else too. I love characterization coming out in moments like this.
First Mad Rex gets the name wrong and now Sosuke... Im sorry Bunred... I just always say Bun(color) instead of Boon (Color) because thats what shows up in the role call, is that wrong too?
Though im not familiar with Go-Onger it was exciting!! I love older heroes showing up to help the new heroes, its always a good development. And also the special Go-On Handling Drive was extremely Bakuage!!!!!!!!!!
I love that the Sanseaters are so used to Yarucar getting chucked that theyre fully prepared to catch him now. You care so much about eachother!! I simply cant hate you guys!!!
Two robos!!! How exciting. I saw on the production blog that the original Engine-O is no longer in TOEI (probably because it was borrowed by Disney for Power Rangers RPMs Zord) so they used CGI to animate Engine-O and Boonboomger Robo. It looked really good! It was a very exciting fight
I like that Taiya was able to gain something from this meeting too!! His buddy... :) His friendship with Bun-chan is so special to me.
A really great episode!!!
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Opinion on the live action films?
In terms of their “live action remake” schtick, my thoughts echo YOUR POST pretty much verbatim. They’re redundant and pointless and disrespect the artists and writers so much and always take the wrong freaking lessons out of their source material. (Im starting at 2010 for these.)
AND you know what’s wild?? Alice in Wonderland (2010), Maleficent (2014), The Jungle Book (2016), and Cinderella (2015) feel like such anomalies. They’re like… the first few from this stint, right? Almost like… at minimum the folk working on these had ideas in mind and really tried to make them their own things. You’ll def find people who hate these period, but you’ll also find more people giving these four a pass because at minimum… they do offer a different experience and don’t act as if they’re superior to what came before. I just don’t get that vibe.
THEN came Beauty and the Beast (2017) and it’s very clear Iger saw the successes of the former and went “oh i guess all we gotta do is just remake something people already know and we’ll make a billion dollars 🤪🤪🤪” and it’s obviously working. And every installment gets more egregious than the last and more blatantly cynical and acting as if “oh the originals weren’t that good anyway ☺️ look at us Screen Junkies and Twitter u can’t make fun of us now we’ve fixed everything.” (that’s another thing, all the bad faith criticism from the buzzfeed and honest trailers era I swear did so much freaking damage to creativity it’s absurd— and that’s to say nothing of what Twitter does.) The Lion King (2019) is probably the worst offender (AND ITS NOT LIVE ACTION u corporate animation disrespecting fucks AND HOT TAKE: they still look like cgi animals fuck you, rip the VFX artists)
Creatively bankrupt shitass fucking. Argh. It’s genuinely a case study in how they can take something already good, and SOMEHOW make it bad and miss the point of every creative decision made. All these little problems add up. And I think there’s something extra cynical happening now that genuinely rubs me the wrong way.
Honestly, I could talk forever about this on a case for case basis. There’s just soooo much to say. But it’s 7 AM and I shouldn’t get heated so soon.
#cozy ask#This whole ‘erm actually this is problematic because [trivial thing]’ genuinely ruined so much#And that’s not even to say there’s issue that COULD be addressed and revised —#BUT THEY ALWAYS CHOOSE THE WRONG FREAKING ONES#I literally wrote a several page essay about BaTB vs its 2017 version and got an A+ i was so heated#I could do the same with the most recent one too.
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So Ahsoka's completely aired, and to wrap up there are things I liked, things I didn't like, and things I'm indifferent to:
Things I didn't care for:
1. It was rude to show Zeb in The Mandalorian and then not have him in Ahsoka!
2. A few of the characters were way too stiff. I'm not sure if it was the writing or the direction because I've seen some of these people in other things and I know they can act. What the heck?
3. So they go to another galaxy and wind up at one of the most bland-ass planets ever. Sure there were a few big statues thrown in here and there, and the boneyard above the planet was interesting, but Peridea itself is boring as hell to look at. It doesn't help that they've nearly desaturated those scenes. This is a screencap and I haven't done anything to the colors or the lighting. It's an intentional choice (it's a place you're not supposed to want to be at), but I'm still not a fan since it's the backdrop and sets the mood for lots of scenes.
4. Leaving out too much character stuff. Action and lightsaber duels are fun and all, but when you fade to black on things like the Ezra and Hera hug? You're denying the audience emotional payoff. If your whole plot boils down to moving pieces around to give everyone a new starting point for your next story, then you need more character stuff to give it weight. The Anakin and Ahsoka interactions were solid, but the other characters and those relationships? Not so much.
5. The Mortis stuff. I've never really been a fan. I just sort of sigh deeply and ignore it. The Star Wars characters are already myth archetypes, so creating even myth-ier in-universe myth archetypes just makes me tired. (I personally like to get all handwavy about it and think of the Father, Son, and Daughter as beings who went off the rails and were a cautionary tale in Too Much Force, rather than the Sledgehammery-Deeper-Truth-and-Foreshadowing beings they were meant to be.)
Things I'm indifferent to:
1. Thrawn. I get that they need a Big Bad in the Mando universe, but I'm not either wild about him or annoyed with him. He's...there. He's filling a role.
2. The Night Troopers. Maybe not so much indifferent (they were very cool looking) as confused about them. Were they originally stormtroopers pulled along with Thrawn and Ezra? If so, why were they called Night Troopers if they weren't a creation of the Nightsisters? They were zombies but only later at the end? Where did they get all that red ribbon?
Things I liked:
1. Anakin and Ahsoka. I fully admit that I'm completely biased because I'm more of a fan of The Clone Wars than of Rebels. This is what I was hoping for and I loved it. The only way I could have been happier is if we'd seen Obi-Wan.
2. Related: the live action Clone Wars. I thought it was fantastic. If this was a proof of concept for future live action Clone Wars, I think it passed with flying colors.
3. Live action Chopper lol. It was basically identical to the animation.
4. Sabine's cat. Not just because it's a cat, but because they used an animatronic instead of CGI. Please do more of that.
5. Baylan and Shin. They were interesting! (Too bad they and the story wandered off.)
6. Sabine using the Force. I do like that they leaned into the idea that the Force is something that's part of all living things. Compare Force use to freediving. Freediving is going to be a whole lot easier if you can automatically hold your breath for 30 minutes (ie "Force Sensitive"), compared to someone whose baseline is 60 seconds (ie everyone else in the galaxy). It's possible for ordinary people to use the Force to some extent, but it takes a LOT of training that most people aren't willing to do.
Overall the show wasn't flawless, but I did enjoy watching the series and I'm glad I did.
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YU YU HAKUSHO LIVE ACTION SPOILERS
Okay! So, I have thoughts. Not all bad!
Let's start off by saying that I think this show heavily struggles with being only 5 episodes that weren't even an hour long.
It felt as if we were just getting to the point of the character progression by the time the show ended. None of them had really changed. Unfortunately, it's because the live action cut out some of that to help make the storyline make sense. What they did cut out, that I think would have fit, was Yusuke defeating Hiei. That is what starts Hiei's respect for Yusuke, and then their slow friendship. Hiei needed to lose to Yusuke to have that character progression and see it life isn't all about anger and revenge, but of love and companionship, but we didn't get that. It honestly felt so on point for the live action Hiei to just fuck off and go try and save Yukina by himself, because he and Yusuke never finished their fight, Yusuke never spared Hiei's life, so there isn't the obligation to help Yusuke.
Then there's Yusuke' and Genkai's relationship. That relationship also suffers because of short run time. It was probably my least favorite because it felt like the episode was put in the wrong place. It didn't really make sense to have the training take place before really fighting Hiei, because as was shown earlier in the show, Hiei could track Yukina's tears. So, was Hiei just sitting in the warehouse for that whole month? Anyway, it would have made sense to do it before the island fights, especially with Genkai's connection with the younger Toguro. We could've gotten the backstory there, Yusuke asking Genkai why she cares and how she knows him and her giving him the story, instead of the short exposition we got. It worked in the anime because we had a lot more time to get to know and connect with the characters, but since this was so short, they couldn't connected everything to Genkai. It would have made her death scene more emotional. I am also a little disappointed that we didn't get the hard ass Genkai whipping Yusuke's ass. I was also hoping, that since Kuwabara was there that we would get some joint training, but that's fine, only so much time.
Those were the main things that bugged me. Overall, it looked great! Costumes overall were amazing (Bui's was fucking spot on!), some weren't (looking at you Hiei and Yukina's wigs). The fighting overall was amazing, albeit a little janky at times because of the CGI, but still awesome. Oh! And I wish they had incorporated the music, I feel like that was what was missing as well.
Overall I give it a solid 7. I think it might've done better with a few more episodes, and if they had started making it after the One Piece live action came out, so they could get a better understanding of how to go about the show.
I am in no way a professional critic, these are just my opinions. You can agree or disagree, as is your prerogative. The people who made this show clearly love the source material, it shows, and that's what really matters. Hopefully they get to do more and we can see how they finish the show off.
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while i agree with all of this, i have an important thing to add:
there was a practical effects revival in the 2010s… and a lot of it looked like shit. bad animatronics, poorly composited models, shit people thought was bad CGI!
see, CGI is perfectly capable of looking exceptionally good, we’ve been able to do photorealistic just about anything since the mid-2000s. look at the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels, look at Avatar… it’s possible. the matrix sequels and the star wars prequels and LotR could be rough, but they lay the foundations for some incredibly beautiful computer generated filmmaking in the late 2000s
stuff doesn’t look like shit today because CGI is inherently bad or anything. the bad practical effects of recent times aren’t shit because practical effects are bad either. there’s one, very specific reason:
good compositing takes a lot of time, and the way films and TV are made now makes it impossible
compositing is the part where you stitch elements together into a single frame. it’s tying the live action, miniature, and CGI elements together, making sure the angles, motion, focus, and lighting, especially lighting, all match.
99% of the time, bad CGI is actually awesome CGI and terrible compositing. a lot of what makes in-camera practical effects work so well is that much of the compositing is done for you. but both these things are impossible the way films are made now.
when these older films were made, there was a long planning and design period. props and environments would be designed to fit the actors and scenes, shots would be carefully laid out, and effects designed to exactly match what was needed. the compositor’s work was made easier by care taken in the lead-in. post production was still a nightmare race, there’s never been enough time, but they were working with things designed to fit together by a team who had been working together to achieve those effects for months and years
problem with that is you need to retain the actors and staff for a long time, and that’s expensive and doesn’t allow the producers who are controlling these massive franchises to make late changes to fit other projects. so instead, you move fast, plan nothing, act to minimize filming time as much as possible because that’s the most expensive part, and then do all your design work after in CGI where rapid iteration is cheap and you can pad out missing scenes or time as needed.
which is how you get whole movies shot in weeks of actors in mocap suits in front of greenscreens holding green props, sometimes not even in the same room because it’s cheaper to slap them together in CGI than wait for schedules to allow your actors to act together.
then you hand it over to literally hundreds of CGI artists in dozens of studios to do it all. compositors have to do thousands of shots pulling together pieces from massive international teams of underpaid and overworked artists meeting constantly shifting demands on tight timetables. it’s an endless nightmare
there are still good effects movies, and most of the ones whose practical effects work best are ones whose practical effects have been enhanced by CGI, or who work carefully with effects teams as part of the whole process instead of an afterthought who somehow have to carry the whole film. a great example is Max Max Fury Road, which used practical cars but a ton of CGI on the environments and stunt work to tie it all together, requiring care and planning you aren’t going to get from the shit Marvel shovels out
by contrast… check out Jurassic World for some absolutely wretched CGI and practical effects. there’s an animatronic dinosaur head at one point where it was very clear they didn’t plan what it was supposed to do so they made a do-all puppet that moved so jerkily you could easily picture the joystick on the RC controller accompanying each shuddering twitch.
that’s not the practical effect people’s fault, that’s shit planning by the producers. it’s not CGI bad, or practical effects bad, it’s capitalism bad as usual
Marvel movies have completely eliminated the concept of practical effects from the movie-watching public’s consciousness
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Three months of vacation is still a vacation.. I think. Either way, you're gonna have to enjoy what time you have to yourself away from work.
I should also work on my live adaption cast posts for characters soon, since I know we talked about that before. Especially for the cast of BL as one of the series. Wait.. Did I mention to you? Because I think I did.
I know people don't know celebrities personally, but that doesn't even mean it wouldn't affect you in some way.. Especially if you knew them through their acting or music. And of course, many celebrities always are inspirational role models for some people too. I wasn't even sure if the Linkin Park analogy would have helped explain it? Since when the vocalist died, many fans were upset. Anyone would be upset if any of your favorite celebrities died, regardless of their cause of deaths too.
So I found out why they're diagnosis progressed so quickly.. They had two doctors giving the diagnoses. So the first doctor was just beating around the bush, said she had six months to a year to live. The doctor wasn't honest. And the second doctor did say that she only had a few weeks left, eventually a few days to only a couple hours until she died that night. The cancer started in her liver, lungs and pancreas until all the cancer spread throughout her body. The funerals in a couple days too. So I don't really think she suffered, at least not to my knowledge.
I hate this year.
Yes! Every comment I see in those videos if just fans begging for new seasons now. At this point, regardless if any adaptions are good (with prequels, sequels, spinoffs) or bad, I might be willing to watch it so I'd be able to see more of my favorite actors and characters again too.
Descendants Of The Sun was good. If you'd ever want to watch more of a multigenre Kdrama, I'd recommend it. Action, comedy, romance, amongst other genres are mixed into the show. But you don't have to.
I can't complain. I think he's handsome too. One of many reasons why I enjoy him as an actor and his characters, there's a possibility that he might be one of many celebrities crushes I have. I can't lie about that.
Besides Song Joongki's work. I've been watching a lot of Song Kang's work too, besides Sweet Home and My Demon, so I did give some of his other shows a chance. And I liked many of those shows too. So I'd recommend any of his work too, if you ever wanted to watch more of his work. Basically I'll recommend a lot of shows I watch, animated or nonanimated. Which you already know that by now anyway. So yeah..
I remember we briefly talked about Sweet Home. If I'm honest, I don't know if you will like this season. Because it actually does deviate from these comics. I won't say how because of spoilers. But there is a thing I can say, the cgi graphics for the monsters have gotten a lot better in these seasons (since they produced season two and three before he's had to go into the military). So I guess it depends on your opinions on season two, if you decide to watch the final season during summer.
And I know, I know.. I've been watching a lot of Asian media lately so I should start watching anime again. Like Jujutsu Kaisen show and the movie is on Netflix now so I may rewatch that, also same with Demon Slayer, along with other series too. So I have some catching up to do.
- 💋
you have mentioned coming up with live adaptation casts! i look forward to seeing it, especially of BL. i know a lot of older anime has gotten live adaptations, and i feel like BL really deserves one. though i’ll set my expectations high for it, so i might be easily disappointed if it doesn’t turn out well :’)
wow… that’s very unethical of the first doctor to be so dishonest? from six months to a few weeks/hours is a huge difference. i’m glad that at least she didn’t have to suffer much, but that must’ve been so scary to find out. my heart reaches out to you and your family. i hope you have people or things in your life that can distract you as you heal as well
ah on the topic of recommending things, if you enjoy watching asian media, have i ever recommend signal before? it’s on netflix and one of the ones that i really enjoyed 😊 i’m into things with a lot of mystery and suspense, and if you enjoy crime solving, this is a very solid series. demon slayer is always great to watch since ufotable goes above and beyond with adapting it. i fell out of jujutsu kaisen for a while now but i hope you enjoy whenever you get around to it again!
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as stupid as i think a netflix live action of one piece, a famously very cartoonish and incredibly long series, is, i am enjoying watching it. uh putting down a read more but here r my thoughts after 2 & a half episodes.
i don’t know one piece all that well so i can’t speak on how good of an adaptation it is, but i think it’s doing well? visually, apart from the sepia filter, it looks decent as far as a live action one piece could go (which is still a weird thing to do but). they don’t lean into the ridiculousness enough with some of the characters, i think, but they do have a lot of people who look fucking weird and it’s great.
Buggy was really cool imo? I have no idea if his portrayal in OPLA matches the original tonally, because he’s definitely scary in this, but i imagine w clown who can separate his body parts at will is supposed to be kinda scary. The CGI was definitely weird at points (when his head is in an audience member’s lap it looked really bad) but because most of it is fast-paced action scenes it managed to look pretty cool. The actor was also like, amazing imo. Like, he’s playing an anime clown pirate, some people might be lame and half-ass it, but he’s putting his whole pussy into it. Idk I’m just obsessed with Buggy now, that was so cool.
Shanks looks bad. I thought he looked kinda stupid so I looked up his original design and and it made me think it looked worse. like i know you can’t cast someone who is just like, a cartoon shape, so i can overlook the body proportions, but the wig is TERRIBLE. he doesn’t look cool with it! he’s supposed to be someone we should find cool (i think) and he just looks scraggly. considering his hair is this defining trait apparently i think they should’ve done better.
luffy is great. his actor is amazing, there’s no sort of irritating self-awareness or anything he is fully committing to being luffy who is so hyped about everything ever. i think the casting was great appearance-wise as well, he looks like luffy imo. In terms of Luffy’s powers it’s surprisingly not as bad as i thought it would be? Like it’s still cursed to see it in live action but i think they get away with it with the way they shoot and pace it.
i think they do a similar thing with Zoro’s mouth sword, trying to shoot it and pace it so that they can use it without it actually being unsafe for the actor but also not looking obviously edited in. he obviously doesn’t have it in as much as his anime counterpart does, bc you can’t actually talk with a sword in your mouth, but they still have him fight with it. Again, it’s one of the many things where it’s like “ok this is probably a sign you shouldn’t have done a live action adaptation of this series, but you did a good job with it considering”
btw I know Alvida or uhhh whatever her name was was bad but honestly that was cool and pretty girlboss of her.
also captain morgan’s son didn’t look stupid enough imo. even when he got the bad haircut it didn’t look bad enough. idk his name i don’t think they’ve said it.
i am glad they have usopp looking like a normal human person bc that would be a terrible look to have the black major character look especially wacky, especially since the eyebrow guy doesn’t have his eyebrows, and his design and some other characters’ designs are kinda what have turned me off of one piece? like the length is the primary factor but also the kinda racist-looking design of a major character (as well as others) isn’t helping. i am disappointed that the eyebrow guy doesn’t have his eyebrows though bc that would be hilarious.
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Power On! Analyzing Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future (Part 1, Intro and overview)
Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future was a science fiction television series that aired its last and only 22 episode season in 1987.
As with all children's television series in the 80s, Captain Power had a toy line. I couldn't find much on it (and don't care to), but they appear to just be a couple of action figures and ships. Though, they do have an interesting gimmick where the episodes of the show (or three different VHS tapes, $14.99 each) can interact with the ships, even causing the toy to 'blow up and eject pilots when all points are lost'. Kinda neat, but I'm not here to play with toys. I'm here to watch the commercial for those toys.
And that commercial is an odd one. It's about, well. . . I'll let the intro do the talking.
youtube
Yeah. As you can see, humanity fought in the "Metal Wars" against machines, and "machines won." Now Captain Power and his crew have to use their power suits to fight Lord Dread and his "bio-Dread empire" to save the world.
Besides the (pretty dark) exposition dump, you may also notice a startling amount of, let's call them 'experimental', computer effects.
The late 80s were. . . odd. Computers had permeated throughout society but had yet to singularitize into the Internet (at least, the websitey Internet we know and loathe today). They were powerful enough to create and render digital images, but were far from being able to effectively do so beside real-life footage. Yet this did not deter everyone with a computer, a camera, and a $1 million an episode budget from trying their hardest. Captain Power et al. was one such attempt.
But if you look past the Birdemic-esque CGI, and the Power Rangerian synopsis, does the meat of the series hold up? I've never seen it, so let's dig in.
So, the intro starts and we see our eponymous captain followed by a very 90s explosion. There's some exposition told over backdrops of ruined cities. So far so awesome.
This particular ruined city was odd to me. The other shots were of dense cityscapes, but there are only a few small buildings in this one. Sure they are mostly rubble, but the foundations are still there and none of them could have had more than three floors. The street between them isn't even paved! This brings up a lot of questions. Was this some small town that was destroyed because the machines did a full genocide? Was this a recreation western town that was destroyed because the machines can't tell the difference between a real and fake town? Either way, opening your Saturday Morning children's toy commercial with literal shots of the apocalypse is metal as hell (and probably a bad idea).
Speaking of shots of the war-torn future Earth, the name for that war is the Metal Wars; it's kind of a lame name, but it works.
There's not much else to go on, but I assume it was a war between robots (metal) and humans (fleshal). There's also the issue of "Wars" being plural. Odd that the genocidal machines would sign a peace treaty. Guess they let their Attrition meter get too high. At least Narrator Guy tells us who won in the end; I would never have figured it out otherwise.
After that bit of narration, we get our first non-Power character.
I guess they're a bio-Dread? The toy ad earlier says they are "Sauron, Sky Sentry" (I feel like I recognize that name from somewhere. . .). It looks really cool. Wings, bird head, sassy hip arm pose thing, everything you'd want in your 'monstrous creations that hunt down human survivors and digitize them.'
what
We get a glimpse of what that means in the intro, but it doesn't explain much. Bird-bot shoots a beam, and a lady turns into pixels.
Seems painful, and the scream was a bit frightening for a children's show.
We then get a shot of Volcania which is where our villain lives.
It looks really cool. An industrial wasteland surrounding a giant dome spewing chemical fumes like a volcano. Very robot, much punk.
We also get a shot of Lord Dread.
He looks like a Borg wearing Darth Vader's armor. It's kind of neat but not very original. I know that Lord Dread predates the Borg by about a year, but 'cyborg with one robot eye and one human one' was a concept since Doc Terror in '86 at the earliest. Either way, it wasn't groundbreaking then and it isn't interesting now.
After that we get our first shot of the future soldiers (standing in front of a large explosion of course).
And here they are. The soldiers of the future. The armor looks super toyetic, but it definitely oozes 'f u t u r e'.
It then spins some more exposition on who these people are. Nothing really noteworthy. We have a pilot (Pilot), a spy (Scout), a gun dude (Tank), jetpack guy (Hawk), and 'master of the power suits' (Captain Power).
The flying effect on Hawk is hilariously awful. My man just looks like a toy on a string.
I also have a question about how Scout can do espionage. They are fighting robots. If he disguised himself as one as shown in the intro, they would know because he would have a heartbeat, or not be connected to the system or something, right? Granted, that could be where the 'bio' part of bio-Dread Empire comes in.
Either way, we get one final group shot and title card and the intro is complete.
If I'm being honest, a very strong albeit boring intro. It told me what I need to know about the series, but didn't really make me interested in watching it. There are tons of 80s shows about groups of people using their toys unique powers to fight a bad guy. Though, I am curious to see what the heck digitizing someone means.
Overall, the most noteworthy aspect of the show's concept so far is the fact that the hero's have lost the battle and are on the defensive. Most Saturday morning toy shows at this time had a more equal conflict between two groups (like Transformers, G.I Joe, or Inhumanoids). That and the fact that it is not animated makes it look much darker than its peers. Something that could make it stand out among a sea of mediocrity, or have it form the seabed.
#Youtube#captain power#1980s television#saturday morning tv#vintage television#vintage tv#80s toys#1980s tv#1980s
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Hi! I am trying to become a japanese to English (& vice versa) translator. I can't find any sources to check the English to Japanese translation. It is difficult to get which grammar must be used since I am not a japanese native and don't know any natives to ask either. I have studied till N2 level but have no experience and must start freelancing to get experience so I need to figure out how to translate on my own. I can only use free translation software but I am not sure about it's reliability. I have seen questionable translations when it's for Japanese to English. Do think you can give any suggestions or anything that might be helpful?
Hi! I did put in a little time searching for the kind of tools you might have had in mind.
It seems that there are many that function in the exact same way but have different interfaces. Here are two of them. Many others can be found by searching "日本語文章校正ツール" or similar keywords. https://dw230.jp/kousei/
https://so-zou.jp/web-app/text/proofreading/
While they can point out some things to look out for, from the testing I did with them, they overlooked some pretty obvious errors, while also catching some things that I couldn't figure out why it thought it was wrong/sounded bad, or how to fix it.
There was one more I found that I didn't try, because it involves downloading software. This page explains the software, and another page on the site offers the download. The webpage is sponsored by a university, so I think it's safe to assume its trustworthy, but it might be a hassle and I can't say for sure if it works.
https://www.pawel.jp/outline_of_tools/tomarigi/
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That said, it's most common for translators to work from one language INTO their native language. While interpreters often have to go both directions (J <--> E), translators typically work either (J -> E) [English native speakers] OR (E -> J) [Japanese native speakers]. If you grew up bilingual, maybe you can translate both ways. But if English is your native language and you learned Japanese as a second language (which is true of my situation), it's pretty much not going to be worth bothering to do E->J translation, unless there are extenuating circumstances. The reasons for this are 1) You can't be sure that the translation you produce reads smoothly or is error-free 2) While you might think, but yes, if I do a really thorough check and compare it against native Japanese examples, I can be pretty darn sure it's perfect, the amount of time it takes you to do that is not going to be cost-effective. Like anything else, people purchasing translation as a service usually want the end result to be done well, in a timely manner, and as cheaply as possible, so it doesn't make sense to hire you for E -> J when they could hire a native Japanese speaking translator, or send their work to an agency to find that translator for them.
If you ARE translating into Japanese and are not a native speaker of Japanese, it is a good idea to have a fellow translator who has the opposite native language you do (in this case Japanese & English), and ask them to check it over for you (which, considering that's part of their job, you'd probably pay a small fee for). They could do the same to have you proofread their translations into English. Some translators consult friends/spouses, etc., but I think this can get old for them sometimes, so it's advisable not to rely on them for your job. You mentioned not having any native speakers to ask right now, but this is still an idea you can file away for in the future when you meet more people and get to know other translators.
In short, if you're aiming to become a translator working with Japanese but are not a native Japanese speaker, don't worry about translating into Japanese. Just focus on translating from Japanese into your native language.
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Translation software: let me make a distinction here between "machine translation" and "CAT [computer aided translation] tools".
Machine translation is Google Translate, DeepL, anything like that. There are times when they work well, but particularly with a language like Japanese that likes to imply a lot of information instead of stating it directly (such as who is doing the action described in the sentence), they're pretty much always going to miss something. In any situation that someone is looking to pay a translator to do work, it's because they already know machine translation won't cut it. One thing that's becoming more common is MTPE (machine translation post editing), where a translator "fixes" what's wrong with a machine translation (or more often than not, just re-translates it from scratch because what the machine came up with is mostly useless).
CAT tools, on the other hand, are widely used by translators. Paid CAT tools such as Trados, MemoQ, Memsource, etc. can be very expensive, and are often provided by a translation agency to their translators. (Also, most of them require a PC operating system.) There's more I could say, but since I haven't been in any situations that require them, I don't have any personal experience. I do have experience using OmegaT (free, works on Mac) and Felix (free, I use it on Windows). They both take a little tinkering to figure out how to use effectively, but basically what they do is, once you've translated a segment of text, they store the original segment and the translated segment, and for each new segment you go to translate, the CAT tool compares it to segments that you've previously translated to see if you can re-use any of what you came up with before. They can also have a built-in dictionary function, but that's basically just having your typical web-based dictionary but more automatically and in a more convenient location.
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For going into freelancing, I have a few recommendations.
Apart from CAT tools, some resources that I refer to frequently are http://nihongo.monash.edu/cgi-bin/wwwjdic?9T (basically looks up all the words in a sentence at once), http://thejadednetwork.com/sfx/ (if you're doing anything with sound effects, like manga), https://tsukubawebcorpus.jp//search/ (this is a corpus, I have another post on how to use it -here-, it's probably going to be your best bet when it comes to checking grammar), https://books.google.com/ngrams (for when it comes to figuring out what turns of phrase are commonly used in English), and https://yomikatawa.com/ (for figuring out the readings of names in Japanese, though there are other sites that work similarly).
When it comes to practicing, contests are a good place to start. The two I know of now are run by JAT in October (https://jat.org/events/contests) and JLPP deadline of 7/31 (and they're long, so it's probably too late for this year unless you're free between now and then: https://www.jlpp.go.jp/en/competition6/competition6en.html ) You can also practicing doing translations for fun. Any kind of media you enjoy (manga, video games, variety shows, newspaper articles) is a good target for doing a practice translation. Just be wary that it's not a good idea to post your translation in a public location on the internet, because it could be infringing copyright/licensing agreements, etc. Finally, there are websites like Gengo, Conyac, Fiverr and others where you can do gig translation work. They can be useful for practice, but also have the pitfall of paying, like, 5% of the rate you should be getting. This is an ongoing debate because on one hand, you can get practice while still getting a little money for it, but on the other hand, if customers can get people to do that work for 5% of a livable wage, that makes it harder for aspiring and working translators to find enough work that pays well enough to support themselves doing only translation for a living. Entertainment (primarily manga) scanlation groups also a significant enough force to merit a mention here- many aspiring entertainment translators find themselves a part of such a group. Practice is practice and developing your skills is important, but they also have many many of the same problems associated with them as I mentioned above, namely infringing on copyright and contributing to the inability of anyone to turn entertainment translation into a livable full-time job.
Another recommendation I have is to join some J/E translation-focused groups. This page lists a number of them: https://shinpaideshou.com/translation/ I can personally vouch for JAT as I am a member and I got my current job by being part of their directory. They run an online training program (eJuku) once a year around April, and applications only stay open for a few days, so if you're interested make sure you keep your eye out. Another one not listed on that page is https://swet.jp/ which is not entirely about translation, but it is heavily related and they host some good events. Twitter is also a very good place to be if you're getting into J/E translation. I prefer to keep my tumblr and twitter separate but if you DM me, I can give you my handle so you can see who I follow and who among that seems worth following to you.
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In closing, I see you say "I have studied till N2 level but have no experience and must start freelancing to get experience so I need to figure out how to translate on my own." I'd say, give yourself some time. Even at N1 there's still going to be a lot you don't understand (or at least there was for me, that's why I started this langblr). I'm sure there are differences in our situations, but it was about five years ago for me that I started diving into translation- I think I was between N2 and N1 then. I've done a lot of translating and gotten a lot of experience since then, but I also have and am experiencing a lot of burnout. (In fact, I'm procrastinating right now by answering this....) Many translators have a job and translate on the side, and it's also common to gain experience with a company or agency before diving into supporting yourself on freelance work. I'd encourage you to take a breath, get experience when and where you can, and remember that if you keep at it long enough, you're sure to get there- just don't wear yourself out or worry to death in the meantime!
OH and definitely keep track of what projects you do, how long they are, and how long it takes you to do them! Knowing your speed is important when it comes to setting your working rates. I am always doubting these, and they differ from person to person, but my current estimates are that I can do 600 moji (Japanese characters) per hour, ~10 min. of audio per hour, and I try to aim for $45~$60 per hour. Generally the lowest acceptable standard rates are $0.05-$0.06 per moji and ~$5 per page of manga. You'll definitely get requests lower than that, so remember your sanity and don't be afraid to say no, there are plenty of opportunities out there!
#translation#Japanese translation#nanikanamae#JE translation#a day in the life of translation#day in the life of translation#if you or anyone has questions feel free to ask#I am absolutely swamped with things to do right now and this probably took over an hour to write so it might not be soon but I will see it
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Hellboy Films: Why animated did better than live action
Hello, friends
Many of you may not know this, but out of all the superhero comics, Hellboy is my favourite. What can I say? As a little girl, I was a misfit, so a misfit hero like Hellboy was right up my alley and the concept of someone being born to be bad to turn out so good because he had a loving father to show him the way is beautiful. My introduction to Hellboy was the first live action film in the 2000s and at the time, I liked it, but then I started reading the comics. Once I got to know the real Hellboy and series, the more I fell in love with the comics yet at the same time, the more I go to not like the live action films and not just because I found the sequel and reboot in 2019 bad. There are many problems with the three live action Hellboy films which rub me the wrong way and not simply because they are live action. Most superheroes started off as cartoon drawings, but were well done in live action, but Hellboy missed all the notes. Now as a mature adult woman who is experienced at storytelling as well as analyzing, I rewatched some of the live action and I took time to watch the animated films. The difference in quality is night and day (no pun intended and I will give links to the animated films because they are stunning). I will now tell you all where the animated films went right and how live action went all wrong.
1- Hellboy’s design was better in the animated films. - I am more than willing to be forgiving when it comes to taking artistic liberties. Sometimes, the results can be beautiful, but in the case live action Hellboy, it was all wrong and I have to blunt, we can do so much better with graphic design now than just simply taking a tall buff man, putting make up and props on him. I hate sounding mean, but both versions just look like a guy wearing a cosplaying as Hellboy. It would have been much better if Hellboy was completely and entirely CGI or perhaps even an elaborate puppet costume like the ones used in the Jim Henson films. It may sound like enough to give the hero red skin, a stone hand, horns, a tail, cloven feet (which are covered), amber eyes, pointed ears and be very tall. He STILL looks too human compared to the comic and compared to what movie makers can do, it’s lackluster.
Now, we turn to the animated version which did more than just the obvious. Hellboy isn’t inhuman looking just because of the said traits before. He is inhuman because of his proportions and shape especially his face. It is a confirmed fact that he is not just not human. He is ugly and animalistic looking. His features are the combination of a satyr and gorilla especially when you look at how thin his legs, jaw, shoulders, posture and so on. Also, his eyes aren’t just amber. He has no pupils, no schlera (the white part) and no irises. The entire eye is nothing, but amber which makes them disturbing to look at. He cannot simply cover his face, tail and hand, then simply blend in. He cannot even wear most human clothes hence why Hellboy is always shirtless and his hooves are exposed. In other words, animated Hellboy looks like Hellboy.
2- The animated plot was clean, to the point with no filler. - While I admit the first live action film kept it pretty simple, I find that it still had a lot of filler and too much subplot. If you ever read a Hellboy comic, you will know right off the bat that Mike Mignola is a master at the art of pacing without fluff. Yes, he respect that character development and buildup takes time, but he doesn’t drag things. Ever. And he does not make everything so angsty either. Yes, he hints that the characters have issues, trauma, emotional pain and at times, depression, but he did so without making them into whiners. For the most part, the cast and hero would pick themselves up and do what they had to like adults. If anything, they were also each other’s emotional support and they don’t hate people. The animated version captured that completely and even showed us that the cast did not consist of malcontents who played the “poor me” card to death. In the beginning of Blood and Iron, Abe, Liz and Hellboy were happily talking about a bakery they had found once which reminds us that with all their hardships they do seek and accept joy in life even from something as simple as good pastries.
Moreover, the plot of the film was to the point with some amount of subplots, but without getting complicated and without the subplots contradicting each other. Everything had a way of coming together neatly and even though we did sometimes get surprises, they didn’t feel like filler. They felt like things that were always there, but now, we are aware of them. Most importantly, there was no cheap or silly selling point tactics like relationship drama or the stereotypical father-son bickering (more on this later). Hellboy is not that kind of story.
3- The subtle messages and morals in the animated films were deeper and better. - Being the mature adult I am now, I can say that the first Hellboy really was just Beauty and the Beast while using the Hellboy cast instead and it presented in the message in all of the outdated and bad ways. Don’t get me wrong, I find the idea of Hellboy falling in love romantic and I admit that underneath all of the darkness and action, everything about Hellboy comes back to love. However, it is not romantic love where the end all be all is to be accepted by humanity by getting into a relationship with a human, then turning into a handsome prince even if only metaphorically. The deeper and more important kind of love Hellboy tries to teach is self love how you are regardless how strange people deem you. If you have done something with your life and made something of yourself, then it is ok to be you and are already more loved than you realize. The other kind of love that has always been important to the series is family unity. You see, Hellboy, Liz and Abe are like siblings to each other and Prof. Bruttenholm is an incredibly loving father figure to all of them namely Hellboy who he raised since he was a baby.
He made the big red guy into the man he is today. In fact, even as an adult, Hellboy and Bruttenholm are a very sweet and kind father and son duo. They are not at each other’s throats, they don’t snark at each other or are incapable of agreeing on anything. There is no spite, there is no anger, there is no resentment and there is no ingratitude. There is only love and honestly, THIS is the love that ought to be showcased more in the films.
With that all said and done, the animated films also had their subtle deep messages which we not only understand clearly, but we also appreciate more. In the first movie Sword of Storms, it was all about finding a balance between persevering and knowing when to let go. In other words, keep doing what you must if it is still relevant and making a difference, but if it isn’t and is the reason you’re stuck, by all means quit. There are many roads to closure. In the second one Blood and Iron, it was clear from the beginning that the message was to not underestimate the elderly. They may not be as strong as they once were, but their experience and wisdom gets them and you out of tough spots. They have been through everything before and know what to do. By all means, aid them and help them, but don’t treat them like helpless babies. I also have to say that when I look at the messages the two animated films were telling us, they are not only clearer, but pretty underrated ones too. In the case of the live action films, the messages were muddled if not done before.
In short, I look at the animated films and I’m impressed. If another live action Hellboy does come along, I hope that this time, it will be done right and I really don’t want to see relationship, gore fests, snark or family drama again. Of course, this all my opinion and I would love to hear all of yours.
Thank you for reading and stay safe.
EDIT: Wouldn’t you know it? I forgot the link to all things Hellboy Animated. Here it is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hellboy_Animated
#hellboy#mike mignola#abraham sapien#liz sherman#abe sapien#professor bruttenholm#kate corrigan#roger#dark horse#comics#animated#film#movie#love#quality#demon#half demon#hero#superhero
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Guardian rewatch: Episode 5
I thought this would be a shorter recap. Ha!
Every now and then throughout this show we are getting CGI wide shots of the Dragon City, mostly establishing the time of day. They have three settings: nighttime, daytime, and sunset/sunrise. While quality-wise those wide shots would not feel out of place in a video game from ten years ago, with buildings looking all rubbery, I actually really like this sunset sky. I also appreciate that they firmly establish that this is city is not, in fact, a real place. I almost wish the architecture was a little bit less familiar, but making the city look truly otherworldly here would make location scouting much harder. As it happens, the buildings on the forefront have a very 60’s art deco revival inspired feeling, and there are some distinctively neoclassical buildings peppered around as well. We can also see that the roads are very wide, and generally there is a hint of Stalinist grandioseness about the downtown. Unfortunately, it looks nothing like the locations and sets the characters are running in; we also get a feeling that the Dragon City is very large, which is not entirely consistent with the very few locations that were available when shooting the series. This shot does, however, remind me the city I grew up in (Moscow).
The actual plot of the episode centres around Huang Linqi and his fiancé, Li Jiaqi, going missing - it will be important, because their disastrous wedding will produce the most Clark Kent moment that Shen Wei will ever have. We also meet the parents of the couple, who are stinking rich and extremely unpleasant. It also introduces us to Butler Wu (Wu Tian’en) and his son, who will become important in later episodes. Butler Wu is not actually the villain of the piece, despite this shot clearly telling us otherwise.
Back at the university, Shen Wei is having a morning tea with his dean. He holding his teacup with almost god-like elegance, very close to actually covering his mouth when he drinks, which is extremely old-fashioned. This is in stark contrast with him brazenly and un-gentlemanly showing his ankles.
Shen Wei is asked to move off campus, because, apparently, having a chief of the special task force showing up at your office is bad for the reputation. Since the professor does not look surprised, and states that he has already found a flat, I’m guessing that he was clever enough to have predicted this turn of events, and used it to secure the place a breath away from Zhao Yunlan. It is up to speculation as to when he started scouting for an apartment: it could not have been more than a few weeks since he met Zhao Yunlan, and finding a flat can take a while.
At the SID office, we are treated to a lovely moment between the team members, crowding around Lin Jin’s new invention: a popcorn-specific microwave.
It’s very sweet to see the team indulge in some nonsense outside of their case work, made even better by Wang Zheng being there. The fact that Zhao Yunlan is on board with his department’s time and resources being spent on a popcorn maker only makes this scene better. He is crouching on the table, because chairs are for the weak.
After inspecting the crime scene, Zhao Yunlan is spending some time outside chatting to Buttler Wu, and comments on Li Jiaqi’s good looks, since Zhao Yunlan is a man who can appreciate beauty.
As Xiao Guo is awe-struck at his boss’ ability to note someone’s prettiness from a distance, Chu Shuzhi literally rolls his eyes calling those “instincts of a beast”, and Zhao Yunlan fails to reprimand him for the remark, because… fair enough. Very fair enough. It’s hard not to relate to Zhao Yunlan, a self-admitted bi disaster.
Shen Wei is being shown his new apartment. He does not even look around it, staring instead at Zhao Yunlan’s front door across the hall from him.
Moving here is a completely senseless thing to do. How on earth is he planning to hide his Hei Pao Shi persona while being a next door neighbour to the chief of SID? My conclusion is that from a character stand-point, it’s nothing but an act of desperate devotion; from a narrative stand-point, this codifies that their relationship is about to get very intimate indeed.
The SID members are interrogating Buttler Wu: as is often the case, instead of bringing him in, like they did with Shen Wei, they hijack a cafe nearby to have a more relaxed conversation. As they talk, Shen Wei is making his way past the cafe, which both Wu Tian'en and Shen Wei notice.
Shen Wei proceed to follow Butler Wu, who calls him out on it. This leads to a removal of his glasses so epic it warrants a jump-cut to close-up, on top of the dutch angle used mere seconds prior to it.
Instantly recognizing Shen Wei as Hei Pao Shi, Wu Tian’en sinks to his knees in reverence. Again, fair enough. After having a brief conversation about their shared history, Shen Wei states that Butler Wu is not allowed to lay a hand on Zhao Yunlan.
“Chief Zhao? You’re stalking him?”
“You don’t need to know more.”
That is not a no. Mostly because that is a yes.
Shen Wei promises to not take Wu Tian’en away before the man resolves his current problems, adding that he hopes his old acquaintance won’t have any regrets when that happens. As Shen Wei walks away, he muses “Then how much time is there left for me?”
(And I have to fight an uncomfortable sinking feeling in my stomach, which is occurring a lot as I rewatch those series.)
The same evening at the SID offices the team is struggling with the case so much Da Qing suggests asking Hei Pao Shi’s help. Zhao Yunlan bristles at the idea, and… calls Shen Wei instead. Of course he does.
To be fair, he does so to check whether the other man is stalking him, but he also calls him by his given name rather Professor Shen, reinforcing that he makes this enquiry as a friend, not at as the chief of the Special Investigations Department.
During the phone call Shen Wei is absentmindedly playing with the corner of the publication he is reading.
While Yunlan does not deny that he still thinks Shen Wei is potentially up to something dodgy, he still proceeds to ask his advice on the case. This continues the dynamic from the previous episode: it’s not that Yunlan is completely blind, it’s just that he trusts Shen Wei regardless of the secrets he might be hiding.
Moving on, here’s what I have to say on he topic of bad CGI. There are several reasons in the world for a piece of visual media to have a poor quality computer animation. It could be laziness, or it could be absence of imagination, both of which are inexcusable. It also could be absence of funds, as is the case with the Guardian. And, honestly, I am alright with that. It’s not their fault, and I would much rather see this drama as it is - bad CGI and all - than none at all.
And, the quality of CGI here has energy similar to Live Action Sailor Moon (PGSM), which I honestly find both nostalgic and endearing.
That show also has a talking cat, but it’s performed by a literal plush toy on strings, so Guardian certainly wins here.
While Huang Linqi and Li Jiaqi are being kept together (possibly in an alternate dimension, seeing as how they have emerged from the lake completely dry), they talk through their relationship issues, and the audience finds itself with a sugar-sweet take on the arranged marriage/strangers to lovers trope. I feel a little bit bad about their disaster wedding now.
At the same time, Xiao Jun and Wu Tian’en’s story is a tiny echo of Shen Wei end Je Zun: the son thinks his dad left him to fend for himself when he was young and vulnerable, and distrusts the very concept of love because of that perceived abandonment. Unlike Je Zun however, he stops to have an actual conversation, which ultimately forces him to quit his senseless act of revenge, and make the first step on the path of reconciliation and redemption. This is Guardian telling us that communication skills do, in fact, matter.
He also drops this bombshell of a line, which hurts my heart a lot.
“In the face of death every love in the world is mere foam”
On an entirely separate note, I am very glad that the actor who plays Butler Wu is wearing nice thick knee pads.
They are very visible, and they make a little “boing” when he hits the ground, but the actor has to fall to his knees twice in this episode, both times on hard surfaces, one of which is literal gravel, and I’m happy that the production is being considerate of their actors’ physical well-being.
While this episode does not mark the first time Zhao Yunlan is being understanding to the Undergrounders in pain, this is the first time anti-Unvergrounder bigotry is explicitly framed in a negative light. The two evil businessmen, who cast a child aside just because he has special powers, are shown as unquestionably in the wrong. Xiao Jun is lightly scolded for his rash actions, but he is not brought back to SID in cuffs, and he is not immediately given away to Hei Pao Shi. Far from that: he is brought in softly, to spend some time at his dying father’s side.
As Butler Wu slipping away, we once more see Guo Changcheng being recklessly heroic, as he is prepared to use the Longevity Dial to share his life force. Instead of letting him do it, Zhao Yunlan snatches the Hallow away and decides to perform this particular miracle himself. This is the same man who will later sacrifice his eyesight to bring people’s lives back. Bai Yu’s acting in that moment is utterly phenomenal, showing a whole range of emotion from horror to determination to dismay in mere seconds.
Hei Pao Shi teleports in, and, without a preamble, scolds Zhao Yunlan (the first episode in the series-long “don’t touch the Hallows” saga), and then asks him whether it’s worth shortening his life for an Undergrounder. This is in equal parts a provocation and a test, because I’m fairly certain that Shen Wei was going to save Wu Tian’en anyway.
As SID members beg Hei Pao Shi to save Butler Wu in perfect unison, Zhao Yunlan states that a person is a person, regardless of their origin. Shen Wei notes inwardly that SID had changed, and, as expected, heals Butler Wu, while Yunlan stares at his power with relief and awe.
Since I have talked about the wide shot of the Dragon City, let’s talk about its counterpart in the Underworld.
I have failed to notice before that there appears to be a vast city next to the volcano river, some way away from the royal Palace, looming over it. Geographically, this makes little sense: we will see characters leave the Palace and instantly end up in a city square throughout the series, but I still really enjoy this wide shot. It is also interesting to see the architecture of the place. It is somewhere between (western) medieval abodes and futuristic shipment container blocks, with living spaces built on top of each other, crammed-in, and unpleasant. I also love the lighting here, contrasting blue and red.
Hallows random power #n: projecting their brethren. Imagine how useful it would be if they also did that for the Brush and the Lantern.
The next day, Zhao Yunlan and Da Qing are on a leisurely morning jog, while Yunlan is wearing bottoms that my partner refers to as “sheggings” (as in, shorts + leggings)
They are talking about Shen Wei, naturally. In my head-canon, Zhao Yunlan is driving his colleagues nuts because can’t help himself but bring the good professor up every goddamn minute of every goddamn day.
As they turn the corner to go home, they bump into the subject of discussion, who informs them that he moved into the building, and leaves abruptly looking more than slightly pleased with himself.
Finally, we are treated to Guo Changcheng’s surveillance exam. I don’t know why he thought this outfit would make him look less conspicuous.
Eventually, the SID will learn that some of their staff members don’t have to be fighters or detectives. In Xiao Guo, they have found the heart of their team, and that is enough.
Next up, Episode 6: The Coat Zhao Yunlan Will Buy
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PS: I have mentioned earlier, that I have a sinking feeling as I watch Guardian, and I would like to elaborate on that. You see, I am very scared of flying. It’s an irrational fear, but it is the one I nonetheless have. There is a very specific feeling I get just as the plane starts gaining speed on the runway: there is joy, because at the end of this journey they is something to look forward to (my parents’ hugs, a drink with a friend, a favourite place, a new city to explore), but there is also a painful anticipation, as I brace for the moment the aircraft will tilt upwards, knowing that I will be pushed back into my chair by gravity, battling against an onslaught of a panic attack, shaking, learning to breathe, fighting with everything I have to keep my heart rate down. Watching Guardian from the beginning, knowing where the story is going, mirrors that feeling perfectly.
PPS: The following conversation happened with my partner as I way typing this recap.
My partner: Do you think Shen Wei ever wears sheggings?
Me: Sweetie, I think he would rather die.
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I really hate 2d purists. No, not 2d animation. Not 2d animators.
2d purists.
The sad thing is it’s gotten to the point that I really cringe hearing any pro-2D sentiment at all. I hate the arguments I agree with because how often they're misused and weaponized by idiots.
Let me make my stance here clear - 2d is NOT appreciated and 3d is used for everything! The layman Karen-mom who doesn’t have an artistic bone in her body looks at stupidsmooth 3D Grubhub ads and assumes quality cause it “looks more real” (aka ‘rendered’). I know as much is true because I literally have a member of my family who told my sister and I that she thinks 3d is better (and also that she “tolerated THOSE movies for us kids”. Touching words. My sister was taking an animation course by the way). Combined that with the studios either using 2D for cheap stuff or finding good 2d animation too “costly”, I get it and I’m not even any animator. I'm just a worm an illustrator.
but holy HELL -
There’s a backlash from the artistic community that's it's own kind of insufferable and deserve to be addressed.
“(insert2Danimatedfilm) is better BECAUSE it's 2D!”
followed by: "Animation is a visual medium and the quality of the art affects how much the story means !!!!”
Yes. Totally. Animation is a visual medium and the look and style is important. Sadly, people use this excuse to really obnoxious ends, insisting that design being pretty is '' everything ''. When you treat a movie more as a special effects demo I get why you talk about the artistry at hand; but I’m sorry, visuals are not the only thing important and it’s why I’m also getting sick of the sameElsafacesyndrome rants too! There’s this attitude that's reads as "but it LOOKS better fromaproductionimage/teasertrailerwhichapparentlyisindicativeof all themovieactuallyis so it MUST BE better".
-“3D should only be used to make things look realistic!”
I think I know the logic this criticism is made in response to, and that’s the Sony + Illumination films which look just as good in 2D as they do in three dimensions. I know it feels like people are twisting this medium to try and make it like a classic cartoon when by all means people can and would love a classic cartoon being a classic cartoon. That I get- From the unsung 2D animator’s perspective, that’s more than valid !
But it’s a huuuuuuge slap in the face to 3d in saying it should only be used for "realistic animation" because
1: It’s not like realistic animation could age badly or look uncanny in the next few years. It's almost like technology is constantly improving, which I guess 2d animation never did and it was always the same technique and quality as every film that came after it.
2: The industry does treat 3d as a magic-moneymaker for this reason. Just listen to these people call the 2019 LION KING “live action” as if they’re embarrassed to call it animation. It IS animation! It would be impressive if you acknowledged that what it is, but like the CATS, you basically are treating it as just a neato tool to better your live action and not it's own artform - which it is!
3: By this “three-deeonly gud when real liek in da toystories” non-logic I guess 2d should ONLY be for flowyflowy SPACE JAM cartoons and maybe some Disney*. Just that though. You can’t do anything more with 2d. It’s never supposed to be realistic I guess. Good thing Richard Williams only did 'toons' and just toons that’s why we need 3d in the world I guess.
Wait no - that’s stupid.
"I HAVE to see the “Land Before Time 14″ when it comes out! I mean it’s a 2D animated film!"
Lost in the aether that is Youtube comment chains removed from kid's videos is a stream of this very VERY stupid argument supporting the buying of the 14th LAND BEFORE TIME film because it’s supporting 2D. My sister and I can be found on that chain arguing against this stupidity. All you have is my word, but trust me: it really did happen.
I’m sorry but...no.
Unless you have a friend or a family member who worked on these movies there’s no reason to see this and ESPECIALLY no reason to insist it’s a win for the 2D community if you buy up this crap - and I'm not judging if you do like it, but come on! LAND BEFORE TIME 14 isn't where your money should go if you really like this medium.
What’s so infuriating about this argument is you can tell it’s made by nonanimators. Real animators will tell you to support their movies cause they want some respect for their artform which is why there’s such a push from the PRINCESS AND THE FROGcrowd that you SEE and LOVE every 2d thing out there, regardless of how good it is because any recognition for it is k i n d o f what they're after!
Kiddy sequel schlock isn’t even in the same ballpark as KLAUS or WOLFWALKERS; these films DID have very limited theatrical runs (Klaus so it could be nominated; Wolfwalkers in places where theaters opened up after Covid) and should have been supported because they were labors of love made by people who love animation.
As other people have already pointed out, one of the reasons for the lack of interest in 2000sera2D animation is that the only films released alongside critical+financial 3D hits were cheaper 2D films that either coincided with daytime tv shows or should have been just direct-to-video. It’s not to say art couldn’t come out of these flicks, but dayum if it wasn’t abused as much as the texture software that era's CG used... Point being, should the world ever go back to normal: If you hear about an out-of-town showing an acclaimed 2D animated film, make time to trek out and see THAT!
Don’t give your money to see yet another made-for-tv movie on the big screen because all that tells the studio is: “yeah 2d IS cheap and only good for cheap stuff let’s just keep it cheap. Only 3d is important 8D 8D 8D !!!"
“I don’t understand how it works. So it sucks.”
This text is from an ANIMATOR btw.
“I don’t understand how it works” and “it’s just some computer rendering” is the exact same wave of logic the people who prefer cgi use.
The plebian Karen I mentioned earlier? She understands the basics of 2D animation as much as you did from one of those cruddy flash classes you took in middle-school. She 'understands' the basics cuz she watched how it was made on the DVD features or maybe back on the WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY. To her, the illusion is broken and she’s not impressed by 'just some drawings on paper'. You, an animator, know the process is more complicated and is intrigued by knowing how it’s made - not bored or disinterested -
Neither you nor Aunt Karen have really good cg-animation software at your house and unless you ARE a 3D animator you probably DON’T know all the ins-and-outs of how these movies are modeled, rendered, and animated.
Aunt Karen is bedazzled by them cause she doesn’t know how it works and the technical aspect makes her brain hurt so it might as well be magic and she can feel like a cool kid sharing Minion-memes. Aunt Karen is the nonartistic type who just wants to feel safe. You're not. You want to feel challenged.
I get it: you’re pissed off cause you’re in a field no one, including Aunt Karen, appreciates; told to work in cg which it's an artform you didn’t devote your life to and told to learn it cause THIS style sells! 3D is everywhere and is starting to look like 'garbage' even if you don’t animate 3D models yourself you just KNOW, I guess. Besides, you know all there is to know about 2d!! You know all there is to possibly know about this artform and have to fight this 'war' against "r e a l" animation! And I mean even when 3d software is there to use, it's not like you can actually make anything worth while in it, especially not anything that transcends the medium. Right Worthikids?
TL;DR: This argument is basically just " BWAAAAH I’M NOT GONNA USE IT I HAVE STANDARDS (a chip on my shoulder cuz art should be what I deem it to be) "
“PRINCESS AND THE FROG is-”
There’s a reason I can’t say I truly like PRINCESS AND THE FROG even though it's not even a bad movie! Like, stop reading this and watch PATF if you haven't it's good. It's my 'FROZEN', in that; I see a lot of potential in it I just think it needs some serious rewriting and that bugs me. Always have felt that way, tbh.
I dislike this movie because the response from the animation community seems to be it was perfect and the Academy was just Pixar-crazy with UP ((ftr, the Academy IS Pixar’s bitch and I personally advocate a sequel be made to WAKING SLEEPING BEAUTY about Mike Eisner’s sabotage of the 2D department at Disney which is still in place now!- but that’s a story for another day)). I’m sorry but UP was just a better story. So was CORALINE. So was FANTASTIC MR. FOX. Honest to god it feels like poor PATF is brought up as just a talking point and never for it's own worth as a labor of love - which it was! I'd like to honestly know: had PRINCESS AND THE FROG come out now and been cg if it would have even half the defenders for it because now it doesn't "look" like how a Disney movie "should" look...
If you like PatF more than the currant Disney lineup because of it's culture, it's music, it's feminism, it's black representation? Awesome. Great. Those things should be appreciated and I never want that taken away from you. But if you seriously think PatF is better just for how it was animated and looks - I lowkey may hate you.
“ALL OF DISNEY’S LATEST MOVIES SHOULD HAVE BEEN 2D! THEY ALL LOOK AWFUL IN 3D!! ALL OF THEM!”
TANGLED, FROZEN, and MOANA? Yeah. Sure. But um, e x c u s e y o u- WRECK IT RALPH sooooo doesn’t work in 2d! It could have used different between the various worlds but it’s about hopping through different video games. I’m also of the opinion that ZOOTOPIA and BIG HERO 6 are fine the way they are. Their 3d is awesome.
The latest fairy tale Disney films are really big on their place alongside the 2D canon esp in marketing. They keep trying to mimic 2D to varying results though I don't think it works as well as the movie's I'd previously mentioned. Me personally, I would love a mix of 3D and 2D technology, like if the backgrounds in FROZEN still got to be 3D but the characters were handdrawn and shaded ala KLAUS ((sweet sigh)). But even then are they truly unwatchable just based on how they're animated to you?
MOANA would have been incredible in 2D but for the record - I don't think it feels out of place in it's style. It reminds me more of a Pixar movie with the heart of a Disney classic which is it's own just as good.
“2D is the oldest form of animation and it’s being replaced.”
Actually, if we’re talking animation in film, stop motion is the earliest form of animation. The stop motion animated THE ADVENTURES OF PRINCE ACHMED and TALE OF THE FOX predate Disney’s SNOW WHITE. And yes: stop-motion IS still a form of animation even if it’s a serious of pictures taken of real life things and not drawings, so don’t you dare come at me with the "but that's not animated"/"Technically it’s LIVE ACTION" crap or I’ll envoke the spirit of Sandman to get you at night.
“Every animated film would look better in 2D! Even PIXAR would look better in 2D!”
Again, Stop Motion.
No, I mean it.
Lemme ask: Would ISLE OF DOGS or FANTASTIC MR. FOX carry any of the same effect if they were generic 90s toons? I know NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS wouldn’t. Christ, don’t even get me started on Svankmajer!
Sometimes the problem is that a movie is envisioned with a specific artform in mind. Pixar started out with toys and bugs for a reason and that’s cuz they were always gonna be a 3d studio and they needed to first overcome the placisity of the models. Over the years they’ve gotten really good at effects and blending unrealistic proportions with real textures (and also not so much- ONWARD and THE GOOD DINOSAUR really needed some different character designs and yeah, I do think would have looked better with a 2d artstyle, but not the ones they had in their films. THE GOOD DINOSAUR needed more realistic-speculative looking dinos and ONWARD needed a grittier HEAVY METAL/BLACK CAULDRON appeal to its designs.) My point being that the problems with these movies aren’t even inherently the animation as much as it is a problem of style. As someone who runs a group speculating different styles and designs for movies and tv shows I’m all for envisioning a 2D ZOOTOPIA or Bluth-inspired FNAF. That’s amazing!
But that’s also the talk of fan artists and nerds and not the professional artists working on visualizing their stories!!
Since I ate, slept, and breathed NIGHTMARE in my youth I’ll use it as an example: All the concept art ever done for TNBC was on paper and 2D was used in the final film. However, even when Tim Burton was thinking of making it just a tv special it was always going to be stop-motion. NIGHTMARE’s puppet cast do work very well in two dimensions, believe me, but the film was made as a love letter to Rankin/Bass and the art form of stop-motion. Skipping to another Henry Selick-helmed project (haha), JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH was also always envisioned as a multimedia film to give it a truly dream-like atmosphere. If you know anything about Henry Selick you’ll know he’s 1) a perfectionist, and 2) loves mixed media and different types of animation and puppetry at once. That’s why he was the perfect pick to direct TNBC at the time, why JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH and CORALINE are so beautiful and why MOONGIRL, his only fully 3d film, doesn’t have the same appeal.
As for what films I couldn’t imagine NOT being 3D? Probably; 9, Padak, Next Gen, Soul, Finding Nemo, the Toy Story films, Wreck-it-Ralph (as previously mentioned), Wall.E, Waltz with Bashir, Robots, Inside Out, Arthur Christmas, The Painting, Happy Feet, Shrek, Enter the Spiderverse, Megamind… just naming a few here.
“I want a traditionally animated film [and by that I mean a 90s-Disney/Don Bluth looking movie] of ‘x'-popular live action/stage thing!”
Okay I’m cheating a bit but it’s my blog and so I’m gonna stick this one in because it’s related.
When I see musings about wanting live-action or CGI shiz to be in 2d again a lot of the time this argument actually boils down to " I want this to look like a 90s Didney movie ". Or, if it’s about animals - " I want it to look like a Don Bluth film! "
Like...there ARE other styles of animation out there...you know that right?
Frack, Disney themselves tried different styles throughout the 90s it’s just that the peak of the Disney renaissance films (LITTLE MERMAID, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, ALADDIN, THE LION KING) and the many imitators that followed tended to have the same look to them where only film/animation nerds kept watching into the era that was TARZAN, HERCULES, and ATLANTIS along with the kids. Aunt Karen wasn't singing Part of your World in the carride with you every day.
The Don Bluth argument is especially irritating because...what exact feeling do you WANT from a movie if it looked Bluthish? Each of the four ‘quintessential’ Bluth movies (NIMH, AMERICAN TAIL, LBT, and ALL DOGS) have such a different feel to them that’s complimented by that style; SECRET OF NIMH is a drama about wild animals trying to understand humans; LAND BEFORE TIME is even more squarely about an animal’s perspective as there’s literally no humans around; AMERICAN TAIL uses animals stowing away on the ship to tell a story about refugees; and ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN is ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN.
What the frack are you even asking for with that because I think there’s a certain flavor to the Bluth-styled oeuvre as well as the 90s Disney catalogue that would clash too much stylistically with some films.
Also come on! Like some Bluthian-style 2d would really fix THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS or SCOOB!, bite me.
I think this fixation solely on these two hand drawn styles and nothing else is based on nostalgia goggles, refusing to step outside the norm and discover different films and feelings than Disney and Bluth, and just preference. Goin back to NIGHTMARE there will always be a special place in my heart for Henry Selick’s stop motion, but I couldn’t imagine CHICKEN RUN or ANOMALISA in it's unique style.
Also I’m tired of every time there’s a "lets make an animatic to ‘x’ musical theater song" it’s reliably just Disneyesque or realistic. WHY envision an animated version of the show at all if it doesn’t have A STYLE to it??!?! I’m sorry but 90s-Disney does NOT fit CABARET!
“3D is so CHEAP now! Why can’t they just do 2D again?”
I think - on the cusp of the 2020s and the Grubhub hatedom, there ARE changing times ahead for 3d and 2d. The general public are starting to get tired of the same looking 3d films and wanting some 2d back, but they don’t have the best resources or opinions on animation to know what it is they want. Meanwhile, the animation community + industry is trying to figure out what to do and you have a lot of turmoil between the monopoly that is the industry, the high standards of the artists, and the mixed wants of the animation fanbase deciding what art needs to be.
It’s a tough business. And in the spirit of that tough business - maybe DON’T act like the means of a film’s production is solely your control, that you know best, and know definitively what the artists should have done....cuz you don't. Sorry my fellow criticalfanomanalysist-folks we DON'T and in an age of standom where fans and critics think it's okay to hackle indie animation studios about not getting their pitched cartoon out fast enough - we need to reserve these discussions to our circles and not treat them as gospel.
3d animation and 2d animation have to share this world. Stop acting like they’re either interchangeable in terms of budget, means of production, or artistry or that one has to be superior to the other.
The industry already says one art form is better (spoiler: it’s always live-action), we don’t need anymore of this purist garbage. Just stick to what you like while trying new things on the side. Be critical while also being compassionate. And remember:
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#animation#animation on tumblr#2d animation#3d animation#traditional animation#hand drawn animation#Franki's Features
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Chapter 1
Little Match Maker
Summary: Your life motto is "I have the power of god and anime on my side, don't mess with me," and you stand by that with your life. No human, magician, or random creature could ever stop your firm belief in it.
However, getting transported to this world that seemed to turn your already bad luck worse was not what you wanted to be in your life story, but you made the most of it.Making friends, enemies, and disasters, you were in your prime in this world, and so you decided to help as many people as you could flourish, at least what you believed to be.
Prologue 1-2: Is this a kidnapping?
Chapter Summary: Waking up in a coffin is a great way to spend your day! Don't even ask about the sus masked man and creepy cat.
Words: 3.5k
Relationships: Developing as of now, but future twisted character/reader
Warning: Curse words, jokes about death because lack of fear of danger, joke about Crowley being mentally insane, low-key sex jokes, self deprecating humor, (If I missed anything, please tell me)
Covered in darkness, you were stuck in a small, somewhat squared space. It seemed like today was not your day, but you did get a lot of sleep, you assume. You reached out to every side to make sure that there was no opening or latch that you just could not see. While you were reaching around for something, all the sudden you heard an old creaky door open. Apparently, you were supposedly in a bigger room if this large box containing you could fit in it.
“Was I... kidnapped…?” You could have never guessed this would happen, and you always thought they would be too annoyed with you to actually keep you, “but I’m not a kid.”
It seemed that really nothing would ever go your way because immediately after you affirm your belief that you would not be someone good to kidnap a much greater voice entered the room, and so you stopped your mind to process the words being said, “...lid is too heavy.. Time for my secret move!”
Confusion seemed to radiate off of you at that line, at least, until there was a sharp thud to whatever you were in. But after the thud was a second of calm; nothing happened, no footsteps were heard, and no one spoke. Yet suddenly instead of a loud thud there was slowly heat entering the area you were in. The heat began to engulf the box around you, and soon you could see the bright blue flames eating everything up. In your desperation and in your brain’s rush of survival skills, your mind freaked and decided to take control of your body to both scream and kick the front of this box. The door or whatever of the box spasmed when your kick hit it and your body threw itself up from the heat located in the now black box that looked really much like a coffin. Your observations on where you were ended quickly when you saw a little being running to you. The creature looked like a weird cat mix between a fox or something, but the fact that it was running on its back legs really threw you off. The creature stared at you after you stopped your evaluation of this strange being, and he panicked much like your previous actions.
“wHY aRe yOu up?” the creature could never seem to stop mumbling to themself you learned, and you only heard his last phrase before you could process the rest.
“Wow, the CGI on you is amazing!” This place seemed to be like a living breathing set from your assumption because no kidnapping could ever be as odd and elegant as this place. You always assumed that whenever someone gets kidnapped they would wake up in an abandoned warehouse tied to a wooden chair and men with weapons would come in and interrogate the kid. Waking up in a coffin is not how a kidnapping should happen. Anyway, the cat just seemed as stunned as you and stopped his motions.
“CGAI?? What are you talking about? I am the Great Grim,” the cat bounced back awfully quick after your so-called rude statement to him, “Now give me your clothes, human! Otherwise,... I’ll roast ya.” This “Great Grim” seemed to have quite the ego to think that you would strip for him. He even puffed out his chest throughout his speech and put his paws on his hips.
“Ah ah, no way am I stripping without you giving me money.” You would not be stopped or told to do anything by a little creature that in your eyes could not hurt you.
However, the creature could not swallow your lack of obedience or the words that came out of your mouth, so he in all honesty started to attack you with this “CGI blue fire” again. He acted a lot more like an arrogant child than an arrogant child would act. He even screams something about him being “The Great Grim” again before he gets closer to you. Once he got close to your personal bubble, you decided to see if the fire really was the claimed hottest fire in the world because of its color. You reached out and basically grabbed the fire with an open hand and left it there letting your mind pend what was going on around you, and immediately your brain and its nerves picked up on the pain in your hand. Not believing your nerves, you kept your hand there for another second and pulled it away to look at it, only to notice that the skin on some of your hand was distinguishably different from the rest of your hand. Your mind paused, and you snorted at yourself while you observed your hand and slowly turned around and sprinted from the creature that was gaining on you while you stood there gazing at your hand.
This set or whatever had very real effects as seen by the cat that was continuing to chase you and scream for you to give him your uniform or something and by the bright blue flame. It didn’t just look cool but it also hurt and in your book that’s amazing! The world of CGI and effects really have changed, and wherever and whenever you are, they are way ahead of their time.
Your running from the cat never seemed to stop and you passed tons of weird areas. There was a little classroom, a weird well, and some odd architecture but overall this set was ‘set to perfection.’
You decided to go into the next room you saw to see if this set continued or had any more different scenes, and so you went into this library with tons of floating books. When entering, you noticed that the cat creature was still behind you, but you paid it no mind, not willing to listen to the being and continuing to explore this library.
“You really thought you could get away from my nose? Dumb human! Hand over your clothes if you don’t wanna-” The creature really seemed set on your clothing, but another great sound cut him off as he screamed a large “owww” and later only to respond to the previous sound with a “What’s this cord?”
You turned from the books you were observing and saw a tall man with a top hat and a bird mask like a masquerade party. His cloak and whole ensemble appeared to be out of a fairy tale; he looked like a misunderstood villain whose whole family and lover had died in the past and so he turned to evil in order to help himself deal with the pain. He did look somewhat like an asshole though. Not the point though, let’s get on task.
“This is no mere cord. It is a lash of love.” Briefly in your head you thought that this man deserved to be called clinically insane, but at this point that’s just being rude to those who are. The man after he caught the cat by wrapping the cord around the creature turned to you. “Found you at last. Are you one of the new students?”
And in your haze instead of being confused you nodded, so he continued his speech.
“You should not do things like that. Leaving the Gate on your own!” his manner of speaking was almost too flamboyant for you, but right now all you can do is stick with him and get out of this place, “Not only that, you have yet to tame your familiar which has broken a number of school rules.”
Just as confused as seeing the talking cat, you decided to nod your head and shepley mumble an apology so this man would get off your ass about the talking CGI cat and you apparently. And as quickly as you thought you figured out the situation and what he was trying to lecture you on, the man continued his speech after the cat screamed out that he “wasn’t your familiar!” or something and another.
“Sure, sure The rebellious ones always say things like that. Now quiet down for a moment.” You just watched on as the man slammed his hand over the cat’s mouth and continued on talking, “My goodness. It’s unprecedented for a new student to leave the Gate on their own...how impatient can you be?” His eyes locked on yours to make sure you were paying attention, so you just nodded your head again to show that you were listening when you weren’t.
His speech seemed to be going for a century so you got bored and noticed that after a while he closed his eyes and was not paying attention to you while still having animated hand movements. You, then, began to observe the shelves around you again to see if there was anything odd, and there was, many of the books seemed to be in this weird language that you have never seen. The language looked like something you would find in a horror movie where the people would be so curious to actually touch the book and not throw it away like they should have, so you decided that as much as this place was odd and mysterious you did not want to be that kind of idiot. However, in your inner dialogue of stupid characters in horror movies, the theatrical man turned around with his cap flying behind him and sauntered on out of the room. You realized he probably said something important, but the worst case scenario is he was the one that kidnapped you and would kill you later. No big deal. The main problem right now is that the man was walking too fast for your tastes and has already disappeared from your vision, so you ran to catch up with him.
Finally, you met his step in a hallway, and you decided to ask just what this all was. “Wait, wait, wait sir. First, what’s this Gate or whatever?” You did fake quotes around the word gate by putting up peace signs and bending your fingers, and then you looked at the man with your arms situated over your chest and puffed your chest out to show you meant to be answered when you resumed with “And who are you, man?”
The man, though, was not at all bothered at your vibe and started a new explanation, “It’s the room you woke up in with all the doors...” Then, he went on about this “academy” or something, and you were getting the vibe that this man and this set had to be some kind of prank, “Let’s get a move on!”
You really seemed to be missing the important parts of the conversation or lecture of whatever this so-called teacher is doing if this even is a school, but at this point and time you just want to go back to bed.
He began to stare at your dazed and puzzled form and said, “For I am gracious I will explain everything to you!” This man is like teachers in the fact that if you nod your head and look like you are paying attention, anything is possible. At the end of his speech, you caught the word “ceremony” before he sped off for you to only follow behind him. You went through several more hallways to get to where you think you woke up around. No one remembers what happened once they woke up; it is all just blurred reality.
The man in all of his glory decides that once you arrive at this large door to fling the door open and teacher-yell “Not at all!”
Out of the flurry of voices you were greeted by once the door was opened one person in the cloak just like you calmly states a little disappointedly “Ah, he’s here.”
You decided that with the added amount of people you should probably pay more attention so you can get home quicker and figure this prank out.
“I cannot believe you all…” You really are getting better at tuning the man out because after his short speech this time he turned to you as motioned for you to move in the direction of another object that would come out of a horror movie. You having no context for this mirror or what you were going to do started walking for the mirror while making out the mirror and area around it. Actually, there was a familiar face in the mirror, something you think you have seen from a Disney movie. It was the magic mirror mask (?) from the Snow White movie. It did look a little different with some mask markings by the face’s eyes and the mirror had some more intricate details, but other than that the mirrors looked almost identical.
After your moment of remembrance of the past, you stopped from your walk and put your hand on your chin and just paused to process it all, causing the entire room to stop from their constant talking that you didn’t notice and stare. In a brilliant moment of association, you turned around to the man and the cat that was still in his arms and tried to get out all of what your brain has concluded from the situation, “So like can we just stop this… like I know you were probably hired to prank me or something, but this situation is giving me hardcore cult vibes. Are you gonna like sacrifice me to Satan or something? Please do tell.” The time of the room stopped waiting for a single response to your question. Before there were murmurs here or there as the people were watching you, but now silence pierced the air.
You watched the man’s face after you said your opinion, and while it was covered by a mask, it was clearly obvious from his open mouth and sagged shoulders that he was shocked about the situation. After a moment, he adjusted his tie and dusted his shoulder off in an effort to steel himself, but you were having none of his b.s, and prattled on again.
“Like, I’ll tell you, you lecturing me about this school and that cat is not what I was planning to do today. I would like to get back to my bed and sleep.” You even told him the name of your town, but this just made him more lost than before.
He repeated your town and asked, “Are you even from Twisted Wonderland?”
“Twisted what,” now both of you were lost and gawking at each other.
“Were you not listening to me?”
“Honesty, I thought this was a prank from the second you walked in, and I still kinda do, so I blanked everything out.” You scratched your cheek and made sure you lost your previous eye contact with him. The lack of of chatter from the crowd made your interaction more awkward than even you could make one.
He placed his free hand on his forehead looking almost as disappointed as the first voice you heard besides him and looked down to the floor.
“Right now we are in Night Raven College in Twisted Wonderland where we are at the end of the entrance ceremony. You should be here to become a student at this school as a magician. However, even if you are not from here, the mirror did send for you, so please,” he paused and weakly threw his hand back in the direction of the mirror, “Step in front of the mirror.”
While you knew you could not trust the man, the only thing to do in this situation is turn and step in front of the familiar mirror. The mirror then grasped the attention of all those in the room as asked you to “State thy name,” and you told the mirror your name.
“The shape of thy soul is…” Consequently, the mirror began to join in the confusion of you and the man behind you, “I don’t know.”
You turned around and threw both your hands up in a “don’t look at me” sign only for the man to gaze right in the mirror past you. “Come again?”
The mirror still pulling a puzzled face when it was only a mask tried to state what it knew, “I sense not a spark of magic from this one… the color, the shape, all are nothing. Therefore, they are suited for no dormitory.”
While the people around you began their whispers, and the man behind you gasped in a weird over exaggerated way, you decided to state your mind. “So, like I knew that, but pissy. I’ve always wanted magic and stuff.”
The masked man did not comment on what you said; you think that he probably has had enough of everything. “An Ebony Carriage would absolutely never go to meet someone who can’t use magic. In a hundred years, there has not been one mistake in student selection. So why in the world…”
You cut in with “I’m a total mistake, sir, that’s why,” but the CGI ‘Great Grim’ jumped out of the man’s hold and further cut you off: “Then, I’ll take their place!” All of this is getting too weird too fast so you just casually walked out of the limelight next to someone who was in a group of five, you think, not counting the floating tablet (??). The cat appeared mad before but being in that man’s hold just made him worse.
“Stay right there! Raccoon!” The masked, clearly sus man bolted out after the cat and chased him around at least for a few feet.
“Unlike that dumb human, I can use magic! Let me in the school instead! If you need proof, I’ll show you right now!” The cat was running around the room trying to avoid as many things as possible. You thought that he looked like a crewmate in the waiting ship for Among Us.
The peace did not last longer before the same disappointed voice from when you walked in the room became cross while screaming “Everyone, get down!”
The cat, then, spit out fire in every direction. Neither you nor the person next to you ducked, but you noticed some fire make its way to you and tried to get them out of the way before anything happened. Just as you were about to reach them, they caught on fire. Oops.
“Waaaaah! Hot! My butt’s on fire!” the male, you assumed, yelled right in your ear vibrating your eardrum and causing you to take a step back before fixing the problem. You spotted the man from before screaming to the other people in the room, and then, pointing at the cat.
Two of the taller people next to you began a conversation which you tried to listen in on:
“Good at hunting?... nice, plump snack?” You don’t think you wanted to hear this conversation.
“...Do it yourself.”
You focused your mind back to the boy who was still screaming in your ear until more voices piped up in response to the man.
“Mr. Crowley, please leave it to me.” another boy in the group of five said with this really profound voice. You could just tell he was a bottom or something. You are also assuming that “Mr. Crowley” is the masked sus man.
“That’s Azul for you. Always trying to earn himself points.” Let’s just ignore the talking, floating tablet and everything that should be questioned and focus on the fact that the bottom’s name is Azul.
The boy next to you with his butt still on fire did not find this conversation as interesting as you which in retrospect is obvious because of the fire on his butt. “Um, hey, could someone put out the fire on my butt already?”
“O gosh, I’m so sorry. I got really distracted by everything,” You aimed all your concentration that you had at the boy. You slapped the area that was on fire several times to get the fire out, and after a few slaps, the fire slowly extinguished on the boy. The fire was not as bad as it looked.
The boy turned around to face you and beamed at you as you believe the personification of the Sun would look like. “Thank you!!” His bright red eyes gazed right through your soul through your eyes, sparkling every couple of seconds. You patted the golden retriever’s hood as he just continued to beam through you. He even grabbed your hands and shook them rapidly several times to show his thanks to you and squeezed them to finally drop his grip.
You ignored the conversation that was happening between several others of the group of five in favor of staring at the young sun. A couple seconds after two of the clocked people began to run after the cat. That was your clue to start to pay more attention to the situation at hand than the sun.
~~~
So this was supposed to be a lot sooner but then exams hit and that's always fun. This chapter just had to have my mind commenting on everything, so half of the chapter we don't even know what happens, but it's really only gonna be for this chapter. Thank you for reading this, and I apologize for any mistakes, but I hope you enjoy it! Have a great day or night!
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twst x reader#twst x you#crowley#twst grim#azul ashengrotto#azul x reader#kalim al asim#kalim x reader#riddle rosehearts#riddle x reader#twisted wonderland leona#leona kingscholar#twst kalim#twst azul#twst riddle#vil schoenheit#vil x reader#this is for fun#twst vil#twst leona#twst idia#idia shroud#idia x reader#twisted wonderland
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Live Watch: Oh My General Episode One
Oh My General has got it all! An interesting plot, crossdressing, throwing gender norms on a pottery wheel and reshaping them, humour, love, color coded concubines, and bi representation where the joke is about realising instead of about being. Ye Zhao - the titular general - is good-natured, gorgeous, and unapologetically who she is during the series.
A lot of what we cover are boys crying in the snow and then sword fighting each other - because that's a lot of what there is. It's important to remember that there is other stories that both are and need to be told as well. Crossdressing, especially historical crossdressing has long been an excuse to explore what it means to be who you are as well as the rights, privileges, and limitations of gender, sexuality, and social ranking. Oh My General takes these concepts on with all the vigor of the main character and with so much good humor it can poke around the corners of identity in a way that feels refreshing.
* I assume that's a camel skull because desert, but I don't know how much of that Props has lying around. Everyone better beware, especially of the spoilers waiting below!
* Ye Zhao in full armor on top of a hill - remember to hydrate, summer is coming and it's bring the heat.
* The enemy army has arrived in the desert wearing fur hats so you know who they represent culturally.
* Working that high ponytail fashion. That full face covering is probably great for switching between stunt person and actor, also when she's riding down the hill it makes her eyes black which is a very cool effect.
* Also, she's been guarding the border for 8 years and he doesn't know who she is? I know functionally that part of the script is for the Hyped by Your Enemies trope, but it still makes me laugh.
* Impressive opening fight scene, great sound design, beautiful shots.
* I should mention if you can't stand seeing animals get hurt you might want to skip a lot of the first part of episode one, it's not gratuitous, but it is a battle with horses. None of the horses are actually hurt of course, they're stunt horses and probably having a great time, but still.
* Dramas usually blow a lot of their budget on the opening fight scene and we don't see anything like it again. Oh My General carries through to the end though.
* She knocked off his hat!
* Dramatic Sand Fight!
* I'm really into cinematography - as you may have noticed - and I love the camera work. Youku has a habit of using good behind the camera people. Wen Jie and Clarence Fok are both listed as directors but I don't know who did what.
* I honestly don't know enough about Chinese martial arts to have an opinion on the skill of the fight scene, but the filming is excellent. One of the shorthands the series uses to discuss unusual gender situations is camera movement and angles. The angle of the camera both makes Ye Zhao heroic, it makes her stand out on the landscape like a doll or action figure. This playing with size an appearance is interesting and a unique way of teetering on the balance of where she does and doesn't belong.
* The sound design is strong and really sells the blows.
* Beautiful beheading
* Ominous hoofbeats! Who will it be?
* Of course it's our hero and she's really got a-head in life! (insert drum emoji of choice here)
* She just hocks that head through the air
* Ancient Chinese golf
* I love how serious she takes the game
* CGI bird is a Delight, and I support him
* There aren't that many good solid emperors in dramas. They're struggling or malicious, or incompetent. I should do a review but do I have time to watch a lot of dramas and movies? I do not.
* Love the ministers' costumes. I often wonder about the people who play all those maids and eunuchs in dramas and movies. I bet there are people who can make a career of it. I wouldn't mind that kind of job. I wonder if it's the same with court minsters, the people to stand around the characters who actually speak. If anyone knows about the extra process for Chinese dramas please let me know!
* Court shade being thrown
* Ah! When you see a character you'll grow to love but you don't know them yet. It's just heart eyes all the way down. Do I have type? Perhaps. XD
* These men just love wearing furry hats in the desert.
* I know a lot of classic martial artists don't like wire work, but I kind of have a fondness for elements of something Extra in dramas. If I wanted to look at real life I would open a window and accept the inevitable wave of depression. I want something Bright and Fun
* I don't know that it's historically accurate, but there's something weirdly compelling about the emperor's words being translated into slang
* Elder Ye!
* I love how the servants are really aware of what's going on and know how to manage things. I love and respect Gong.
* Elder Ye once again making trouble
* The ladies, I love them, I adore them
* Why does this man want to watch the general pee so bad?
* Fox! I love him. A good and important gentleman!
* ~their bones will melt~
* The romantic fresco, General Ye is having a moment as they contemplate the sudden appearance of a picture of a pretty young man and what that might mean. As someone who doesn't fit into gender norms evenly, seeing a man depicted in a very different way seems to give her pause to contemplate ways that someone can exist in and outside of gender normativity as well as her ~beloved.~
* Sudden foreshadowing memory.
* You know the Emperor's least favorite part of the day is when he asks the ministers if they have anything to bring up
* That moment when a character asks who would marry me to the person who wants to marry them XD
* "No matter how strong a woman is, she is waiting on a man to appear" Is she though?
* It's one things to marry a "project", it's another to be assigned one. XD
* The Empress is just playing dolls at this point XD
* Finally, we introduce the male lead, and the timing is perfect
* It's nice to see gentlemen dancers
* This slo mo scene is so good! This show understands the beauty in the mundane and absurd
* I love this dance scene so much! The bi energy is unapologetically so strong and I always love to see traditional arts from anywhere.
* The way this backstory is delivered is so good! I just love this scene, what a great way to end an excellent episode!
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