#what's the magic formula
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jaynovz · 2 years ago
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According to my mood tracking app, the longest I have gone without writing since I started up again in Jan 2021 was ten days in a row, which was when I was in GA for xmas during the last two weeks of Dec 2021...
The overall effect on my mood when including the writing activity is pretty high, in a positive way, based on the data.
All of that to say that my current depressive slump as a result of facing the fact that I may have finally hit a hard wall of burn out, after two years of intense output?
...well, it makes sense lol.
#thoughts#personal#depression#mental health#i desperately need a break i know i do my brain is spinning out ans having difficulty even starting on concepts/stories#but also... writing is the center tower of my support structure it's what I do to unwind and make myself happy#i anticipated some amount of this uhh feeling gutted and empty after break up au was over#but i didn't anticipate this fucking weird limbo inbtw of being burnt out and unable to write but ALSO unable to find joy in other things??#my brain doesn't want to read it doesn't want to play video games or do art or pursue a different hobby#it's not latching onto any non pirate things despite me pspspssing ans throwing other content in front of it#like I'm TRYING#with 1899 with Sunder with Disco Elysium etc#it feels like shit frankly#and also a lot of the pirate ppl i started this journey with have also gotten tired or moved on completely#i just am absolutely CONFOUNDED that my brain is finding zero joy in even rotisserie chickening pirate stuff#who am i?#god i hope it's just a little slump and I snap out of it#cuz i am thrashing like a fish in a net trying to figure out how to make ny brain happy#what's the magic formula#and the brain fog is still here so like i would LOVE more distraction from IRL shit#i can use my friends to produce joy to some extent right now but it's limited#bc im also Still Tired so doing the Jay Thing of trying to fill needs and thus feel useful has a hard limit#reminds myself im not just an endless battery#anyway im desperately trying to find heathy coping and not ooze all over everybody but it's fucking hard#venting#i find it hard to talk to my therapist about this which maybe means i need a new one#just another Thing to do
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alexturntable · 6 days ago
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Charles and Carlos with Magician Shin Lim | Las Vegas GP
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards
I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?
I. Magic Tricks
You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)
But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."
In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.
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II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets
This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?
From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.
Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)
2008.
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Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible
2009.
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Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?
2010.
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This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!
2011.
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Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards
2012.
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This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??
2013.
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Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form
2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):
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For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one
2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):
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The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"
III. Why Does This Matter?
*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs
This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!
There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.
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But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(
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#yes its finals week and im up to my eyes in coursework but instead decided to spend like 5 hours researching and writing this post#nah bcs i actually genuinely put more work into this then I think I have all semester dsfjdskjg#that thing about him using a condom and teddy bear in a magic trick genuinely had me crying with laugher. actual tears rolling down my face#<- HOW!?!? WHAT WAS THE TRICK?? its literally inconceivable to me what he did. oh if only there were pics UGH#anyways!! this post was a lot of fun to make!! i really really love the symbolism and design of helmets so this was a rly fun project#and i also went down a lot of rabbitholes while make this and saw many very weird articles from yore#i feel like i make an equal amnt of deranged posts abt seb and nando but i dont know why nando is gifted w all my well researched projects#<- i.e. chair post. that was the same level of research as this one but at least this one i could find actual sources about....#idk theres smth about the extremely long history of nando's history that evokes research posts like this KLAJSLSKDJ#theres just so much that i dont think I ever really see people discussing! so i must create.#haha what was that joke tag i wanted to make abt my researched posts? I think:#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion#<- one day ill go back and actually tag posts w that. bcs the amtn of research compared to my actual schoolwork is so unwell#fernando alonso#fa14#f1#formula 1#catie.rambling.txt#we do a little bit of f1
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ham1lton · 6 months ago
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Hi I really love your works and can't stop rereading them, you're such an amazing author.
Now I saw you were doing some prompts so I was wondering if you can do Kick Schumacher + 40
And have a nice day:)
040. a dusty antiques shop full of relics w/ MS47.
— part of a series of drabbles! <3
when your uncle decided to move to the caribbean with his wife, he left you his old antique store. it was in the middle of paris, and you needed a change from your old normal. making the move from your home country to paris was a big adjustment but you powered through. the shop wasn’t always busy but the occasional customer usually bought enough to keep the lights on.
you were reading one of your favourite novels when a blond guy stumbled in, probably seeking shelter from paris’ torrential rain. he was soaked to the bone as he stood up and saw you. he smiled and waved a hand. you nodded and went back to your book.
he started looking around the store but eventually, he walked up to the counter. his gaze on the book in your hands.
“nice day for reading, huh?” his voice carrying a hint of amusement despite the exhaustion in it. you looked at him, meeting his gaze with a polite smile.
“indeed it is,” you gestured at the rain-soaked streets outside. “perfect excuse to stay indoors.”
he laughed lightly, his eyes crinkling in the corners. “can’t argue with that logic.” then, after a moment’s hesitation, he added, “mind if i have a browse for a bit? i could use a distraction.”
“of course. take as long as you’d like. let me know if you need any specific help.”
one thing that you didn’t tell a lot of people was that the antique shop wasn’t a normal antique shop. over the years, you had noticed a pattern - the shop had a knack for attracting people who were grappling with their own inner battles, whether it was heartbreak, weariness, or simply a longing for connection. your uncle had always simply referred to it as "magic," but you couldn't quite put a name to it yet. that’s why you were able to keep the lights on, the shop didn’t allow time-wasters.
you wondered what brought him to its doors.
as the blond stranger continued to explore the shop, you couldn't shake the feeling that his presence here was more than mere chance.
you watched as he paused before a display of antique photographs, his fingers tracing the faded edges of the frame with a gentle reverence.
unable to resist the pull of curiosity, you approached him quietly. "finding anything interesting?" you asked, your voice soft.
he glanced up, his eyes meeting yours with a warmth that sent a shiver down your spine. "just looking at the stories these photographs hold," he replied, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
you nodded, a knowing smile playing on your lips. "they do have a way of doing that," you agreed, your gaze lingering on his face. "you know, some say this shop has a certain... magic to it. that it has a way of drawing in those who need it most."
his eyes widened in understanding, a silent acknowledgment passing between you. "i can believe that," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "there's definitely something special about this place."
in that moment, you felt a surge of emotion welling up inside you, a longing to share the secrets of the shop with this enigmatic stranger. and as the rain continued to patter against the windows, you found yourself drawn to him in a way you couldn't quite explain.
"i'm y/n, by the way," you said, extending your hand in greeting.
he took it, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through you. "mick," he replied, his smile widening into a grin that lit up the room.
and as you stood there, hand in hand, surrounded by the timeless antiques, you couldn't help but feel that perhaps, just perhaps, fate had brought him to your door for a reason.
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ilottthepilot · 5 months ago
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN nico rosberg got to hear the black dog live before i did??????
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sangre · 5 months ago
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doodles that have been in my head today lol. im sorry phaesus you're just amicable and easy to pick on
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shakemelikeasnowglobe · 1 year ago
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Do I understand brocedes? NO
Do I want to understand brocedes? Also No
Do I still stand mesmerized like an ipad baby watching cocomelon to every single brocedes dramatic tiktok video ? YES absolutely and it destroys me every time
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firstroseofspring · 9 months ago
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exploring klingon ridge variation!
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2129888 · 9 months ago
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higuchi sensei when it's time to cook up the guy that'll be falling in love with the main character in one of her little stories
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hastalavistabyebye · 4 months ago
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Thought of the day : you know what's frustrating with (I think it was first USAmerican or social medias at least) censure habit ? Or whatever you want to call it. It's that by censoring every slur, every bad words every words you don't like, it has an annoying side effect. I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. Zero, nada, niet. Because English is not my native language and I don't know every slur (or just every words) and when you're talking about "random-letter word" it could be anything, even the most random thing ever, and I will have no idea. And I can't even educate myself and learn "ah, this word means that insult, copy", because I have no idea what word you're talking about !!!!
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nerdyfangirlingbooks · 2 years ago
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I like to believe he runs his own social media
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paradigmrust · 2 years ago
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april's fool
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skitskatdacat63 · 2 years ago
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2023 Bahrain Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso(ft. Max Verstappen, Checo Perez & Lance Stroll)(my personal post-race highlights)
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still-talkingalot · 2 months ago
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one thing about jane remover is she knows exactly how many sections of a song there needs to be always
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God. Okay. Makes 100% sense now why Adams changed Jai's powers.
He made Jai the demolitions expert. And started hyping up Jai's new obsession with spy stuff. And had Jay do stealth missions. And has him writing mission logs during recess.
Adams 100% is making Jai the 'spy kid' of this new team.
Adams is hyping Maxine's magic because she's the magic kid. Irey is the speedster. Jai is the spy kid. Bobby is the super strong invulnerable powerhouse. Cerdian is the Atlantean.
Now the question is: does editorial let him add Lian as the archer? Does editorial let him add Mar'i as the alien? Or does he have to get one of the Kent kids for the alien spot?
Can he add Tai as their energy construct kid????
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streetkid-named-desire · 5 months ago
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The relief and pride of posting a chapter and immediately checking your email first thing in the morning hoping to see AO3 notifs to depression pipeline
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