#what's the magic formula
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According to my mood tracking app, the longest I have gone without writing since I started up again in Jan 2021 was ten days in a row, which was when I was in GA for xmas during the last two weeks of Dec 2021...
The overall effect on my mood when including the writing activity is pretty high, in a positive way, based on the data.
All of that to say that my current depressive slump as a result of facing the fact that I may have finally hit a hard wall of burn out, after two years of intense output?
...well, it makes sense lol.
#thoughts#personal#depression#mental health#i desperately need a break i know i do my brain is spinning out ans having difficulty even starting on concepts/stories#but also... writing is the center tower of my support structure it's what I do to unwind and make myself happy#i anticipated some amount of this uhh feeling gutted and empty after break up au was over#but i didn't anticipate this fucking weird limbo inbtw of being burnt out and unable to write but ALSO unable to find joy in other things??#my brain doesn't want to read it doesn't want to play video games or do art or pursue a different hobby#it's not latching onto any non pirate things despite me pspspssing ans throwing other content in front of it#like I'm TRYING#with 1899 with Sunder with Disco Elysium etc#it feels like shit frankly#and also a lot of the pirate ppl i started this journey with have also gotten tired or moved on completely#i just am absolutely CONFOUNDED that my brain is finding zero joy in even rotisserie chickening pirate stuff#who am i?#god i hope it's just a little slump and I snap out of it#cuz i am thrashing like a fish in a net trying to figure out how to make ny brain happy#what's the magic formula#and the brain fog is still here so like i would LOVE more distraction from IRL shit#i can use my friends to produce joy to some extent right now but it's limited#bc im also Still Tired so doing the Jay Thing of trying to fill needs and thus feel useful has a hard limit#reminds myself im not just an endless battery#anyway im desperately trying to find heathy coping and not ooze all over everybody but it's fucking hard#venting#i find it hard to talk to my therapist about this which maybe means i need a new one#just another Thing to do
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Charles and Carlos with Magician Shin Lim | Las Vegas GP
#Carlos is always so frustrated with magic tricks he Needs to understand#the way they were discussing it trying to figure out how he did it#carlos keeps looking at charles for answers and charles just laughs#“what's interesting?” 🤨#charles leclerc#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#charlos#1655#f1#formula 1#mypost#las vegas gp 2024#shin lim
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#sir where is your waist?#how do you do that#what kind of magic is this#where are your organs?#i am genuinely curious#max verstappen#mv1#f1#formula 1#qatar gp 2024#my post#his waist
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Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards
I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?
I. Magic Tricks
You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)
But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."
In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.
II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets
This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?
From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.
Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)
2008.
Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible
2009.
Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?
2010.
This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!
2011.
Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards
2012.
This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??
2013.
Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form
2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):
For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one
2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):
The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"
III. Why Does This Matter?
*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs
This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!
There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.
But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(
#yes its finals week and im up to my eyes in coursework but instead decided to spend like 5 hours researching and writing this post#nah bcs i actually genuinely put more work into this then I think I have all semester dsfjdskjg#that thing about him using a condom and teddy bear in a magic trick genuinely had me crying with laugher. actual tears rolling down my face#<- HOW!?!? WHAT WAS THE TRICK?? its literally inconceivable to me what he did. oh if only there were pics UGH#anyways!! this post was a lot of fun to make!! i really really love the symbolism and design of helmets so this was a rly fun project#and i also went down a lot of rabbitholes while make this and saw many very weird articles from yore#i feel like i make an equal amnt of deranged posts abt seb and nando but i dont know why nando is gifted w all my well researched projects#<- i.e. chair post. that was the same level of research as this one but at least this one i could find actual sources about....#idk theres smth about the extremely long history of nando's history that evokes research posts like this KLAJSLSKDJ#theres just so much that i dont think I ever really see people discussing! so i must create.#haha what was that joke tag i wanted to make abt my researched posts? I think:#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion#<- one day ill go back and actually tag posts w that. bcs the amtn of research compared to my actual schoolwork is so unwell#fernando alonso#fa14#f1#formula 1#catie.rambling.txt#we do a little bit of f1
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"she is a bad person but at least she makes max happy" okay?? that doesn't change the fact she's still a terrible person?? your only condition to like/respect someone is for them to make max happy?? i mean at some point jos makes max happy too?? do yall respect that abuser too?? have some standards and learn to separate people from their surroundings because this is not even being a fangirl its just stupid lol
#she's not even a good mother#i mean i will never attack her babies or wish bad things upon them but being pregnant doesn't make her magically a good person#i know my people will understand me#PLEASE try to understand what im trying to say#max verstappen#formula 1#f1#formula one#f1 wags
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doodles that have been in my head today lol. im sorry phaesus you're just amicable and easy to pick on
#dragon's dogma 2#dd2#dragon's dogma#arisen#dragonsplague#i think for like a month i've been thinking abt my arisen being like 'this man has an interesting inventory but his formulas could use work#she's def dabbled in dark magics as well so it's a little funny to me thinking abt their interactions. i like him tbc#pawn#breezyarts#phaesus looks so normal and then my characters are like: sailor moon beam#what are ya gonna do. LKJSDKJLGSDG#dd2 spoilers#maybe?#Very vague.#ch: adamaris solvesal#ch: yvaine
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Do I understand brocedes? NO
Do I want to understand brocedes? Also No
Do I still stand mesmerized like an ipad baby watching cocomelon to every single brocedes dramatic tiktok video ? YES absolutely and it destroys me every time
#formula one fandom#formula 1#lewis hamilton#nico rosberg#brocedes#i know they were like best friends#but then there was a ugly crash#and now they dont talk to each other anymore#but also they live in the same building in monaco apparently?#which what in the fanfic is that?#i dont want to dig deeper#i fell like if i know anything else it will lose its magic
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exploring klingon ridge variation!
#star trek#my art#klingons#in my head in small enough towns people can identify members of a certain house by the ridges#klingon voice eyes that cut like steel and ridges that look to the skies.... surely you are a son of d'kar#is sirella wearing a princess bubblegum crown yes. did i draw b'elanna twice in a giddy stupor yes. does ch'rega look like some kind#of 2000s magical girl. also yes SORRY its all i got ok its honest work#respectfully i know the ridges have kind of a formula to them but i think they should get freaky with it#also i like to think they call it fire blossom cause when it blooms it smells like smoke everywhere. so unsafe. yay ♥️#miral when b'elanna's playing with live wires for the latest attempt to handcraft an android: smells like home <3 :)#i'll never let go of little mad scientist b'elanna#also i can never decide how i wanna draw b'elanna and specifically her hair curly wavy straightened bangs no bangs? side bangs? who knows..#someguy with a gun: quickly what does b'elanna look like#me: just shoot i can't do this
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higuchi sensei when it's time to cook up the guy that'll be falling in love with the main character in one of her little stories
#she has a formula. and she sticks to it. respect#would give up my kidney to read vol 2 of yasashii watashi. like im invested#so curious abt what other stories she couldve written if oofie hadnt become like her 20+ yr long magnum opus for realsies .#shes so epic at writing. human beings in love. like the mundanity and magic of it#wahhh wabhhh well we get abemiha endgame in the end so its alright 🙂#<- leave me be
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I like to believe he runs his own social media
#fernando alonso#magic alonso#formula 1#F1#aston martin#aston martin aramco f1#george russell#russell george#mercedes#mercedes amg petronas#mercedes amg f1#mercedes amg petronas f1#I feel like toto trying to work out what the merc team's official name is
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april's fool
#haha get it. april fools except the S is on the april#detective conan#magic kaito#kaitou KID#art tag#probably the messiest piece im willing to post on here. i just wanted to draw something for 04/01 because i missed his birthday last year#so what fool would i be to pass this other significant event..! happy 26 (?) years to the scene that changed my brain chemistry#ok thats all listen to LOVE FORMULA ~FREEDOM~ by TWO-MIX. my final words (passes away)
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one thing about jane remover is she knows exactly how many sections of a song there needs to be always
#i’m so sick of the 2 min 30 second song length plague#i want the bridges and the outros and extra verses god pleaseee#jane remover#never has this problem she always lets a song be exactly what it needs to be and i am eternally grateful#for example some artists would end magic i want u after the second chorus and thank god thats not the case#also like structure wise jane remover songs are always doing whatever they gotta do#there’s such a variety and of course it’s fine to be formulaic but i love when artists play with structure#depending on what a song calls for
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last night i was so sick of my skin i was like thats IT im DONE im going to the drugstore and buying what my famously clear skinned mother used in the 90s. woke up this morning to find out it made me break out 🤡
#my mother has had perfect skin her entire life and me/my brother/my dad's side have been suffering for years#she was such a ponds girl though like i think a lot of south asian women were ponds girls cause of like. the powder.#the purple magic scented powder smell is burned in my brain what a universal product for my family in india. i still have some at home#i literally remember being like why are you guys using the same stuff on your face as you do for the carrom board#but my mom used exclusively ponds products and ALL in the wrong way. she was moisturizing with cold cream. still had perfect skin#but i went and bought the dry skin cream in the blue tub yesterday and either im just recovering from four straight days of wearing makeup#or they changed the formula and it made me break out 😭#im hoping its the former cause that shit is expensive nowadays. like fifteen bucks.#yesterday my mother (55 yrs old looks 40) was like should i get botox and i was like. do you know. do you fucking know how lucky you are.#she pointed to a single wrinkle on her forehead like you're in your 50S.................
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reading this old book that scar(r)ed me for life when I was 9 and discovering that the goddamn Necronomicon was in it
#where does it fit on the Cthullhu mythos?#it was meant for children and the stories in it were terrifying to me#it wasn't Goosebump style horror#but more like Solyent Green horror#and lovecraftian horror of course#since in this story the kid makes the entire town disappear using a magic formula he read in said Necronomicon#I've decided to reread it to see what stories I forgot#ramblings#I searched for it for years and serendipity came to the rescue
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2023 Bahrain Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso(ft. Max Verstappen, Checo Perez & Lance Stroll)(my personal post-race highlights)
#GUYS YOU KNOW I JUST THOUGHT OF THE PERFECT SONG FOR THIS OCCASION#'Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic' - The Police(like magic alonso you get it you get it??)#pls go listen to it bcs its what I listened to while making this post bcs it rly reminds me of nando hehehe#i def cried a bit while watching this i was just so happy for everything both he and the team have achieved#and not to harp on abt 2005 but ig its crazy for me to have been spending a lot of time watching his wdc season#and then start the new season and see him up in p3!! its just so cool and it makes me a bit emo but in a good way ofc!#also sry if this is a little late! i was changing up w how i wanted to go abt doing this and it took longer than i wouldve liked#i think the most interesting thing abt doing this was just how different the post-race proceedings are compared to 2005#fernando alonso#2023 bahrain grand prix#we do a little bit of f1#fa14#checo perez#max verstappen#(2023: 1/23 races watched)#f1#formula 1#formula one#2023 bahrain gp#lance stroll
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Its not that they have a magic bullet Vasseur outlines what it will take to reel in Red Bull over second half of season
Ferrari team boss Frederic Vasseur has expressed optimism that current F1 pace-setters Red Bull can be caught, claiming marginal gains “in every single pillar of performance” will be key, as opposed to unleashing one “magic bullet”. Red Bull have dominated the 2023 season so far, winning all 13 races from Bahrain to the Netherlands with Max Verstappen and Sergio Perez to build up comfortable advantages in both the drivers’ and constructors’ championships. BEYOND THE GRID: Fred Vasseur on his ‘biggest challenge’ and pursuing the ‘pinnacle’ with Ferrari Nearest rivals Mercedes are now 285 points adrift, followed by Aston Martin and Ferrari, who have experienced an up-and-down campaign with an SF-23 package that has reached the high of pole position but also left drivers Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz scratching their heads. Asked about this year’s titles being out of reach, and what would represent a successful second half to the year for Ferrari, Vasseur said: “For sure, if you have a look on the numbers, it’s quite difficult to imagine we could be champions on the team and driver championships. Ferrari are fourth in the constructors’ standings after 13 races, behind Red Bull, Mercedes and Aston Martin “But we need to keep the same mindset, to try to get the best on every single weekend, not to be focused on the championship. We have to improve the package, also to improve what we are doing on track, to try to get the best from the package that we have – it’s where we have to be focused. “I don’t want to fix a target to say we have to do ‘this’ or ‘this’. As long as we have room for improvement, we have to be 100% focused on this. It’s clear that on every single topic, and every single pillar of the performance, we need to take a step forward.” IT’S RACE WEEK: 5 storylines we’re excited about ahead of the Italian Grand Prix Pushed on where he feels Red Bull are making the difference, Vasseur added: “I’m not sure that they have an area where they are much better than someone else. I think it’s everywhere they are performing, in every single pillar of performance, the drivers, engine chassis, aero, suspension, strategy… “I think it would be a mistake to say, ‘Okay, they are much better than us in this area, let’s be full push on this one’. We have to try to get the best from what we have in every single area and to do a small step everywhere.” This feature is currently not available because you need to provide consent to functional cookies. Please update your cookie preferences TECH TALK: Who's got faster so far? | Crypto.com Ferrari confirmed at the Dutch Grand Prix – where Leclerc and Sainz endured a particularly challenging weekend at the wheel – that they are working on a “brand-new” car for the 2024 season, as they look to deliver on Vasseur’s wish to improve in all areas. With all of the above in mind, Vasseur underlined his belief that Ferrari have the “team spirit, passion, budget and facilities” to get back to winning ways and end a title drought that stretches back to the 2008 campaign. “It’s never that something is missing in a team when you are not winning,” the Frenchman commented. “Even when you are winning, it’s not that you have something special – I’m really convinced about this. THIS WEEK IN F1: 10 quiz questions on all the F1 news ahead of the Italian Grand Prix “It’s not that Red Bull have a magic bullet. Perhaps that Max is doing a mega job today, but also it’s coming from the fact that they are dominating and they are putting Max in a very good position to do a good job. “I’m not sure that we have to change something. We have to improve everywhere, in every single area, in every single department. If two or three tenths are missing, I’m much more convinced that it’s 10 times two or three hundredths of a second per lap than something else.” via Formula 1 News https://www.formula1.com
#F1#‘It’s not that they have a magic bullet’ – Vasseur outlines what it will take to reel in Red Bull over second half of season#Formula 1
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