#what’s next? 201? pfft | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bratshaws · 1 year ago

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through the hourglass 220. brb x oc

a/n: next chapter is s m ut so be prepared. (comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none uwu

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

/180/181/182/183/184/185/186/187/188/189/190/191/192/193/194/195/196/197/198/199/200/201/202/203/204/205/206/207/208/209

/210/211/212/213/214/215/216/217/218/219

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @novastories @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix @lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @booklover2sblog @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @fanboyswhore9 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva @kmc1989 @enchantingharmonyalpaca

Bradley looked down at that piece of paper for a few minutes now, sitting in his office while sipping some coffee. It started raining early today, and the base was very…quiet. It wasn’t out of the ordinary, but it was still unusual.

He took another sip of his coffee, its warmth providing a stark contrast to the chill that seemed to permeate the base. The rain drummed softly against the windows, creating a soothing backdrop to his thoughts. He was rereading the notes from the last class, swinging the pencil between his index and middle finger repeatedly as he held his head up with a hand.

The new recruits were good, but he had to have a keen eye on them now considering how bad last time was.

He glanced at the clock on his desk. It was getting close to lunch break, but he knew he needed to be thorough in his assessment of the recruits. He made a few more notations, circling areas where improvement was needed and underlining the strengths of each individual.

With a sigh, he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples. The stress of command, the constant need to make critical decisions, and the ever-present danger of their work weighed on him. He had to ensure that every member of his team was as prepared as possible.

Just as he was about to close the folder, there was a soft knock on his office door. Bradley looked up to see Phoenix peeking inside his office, “Um…what are you still doing there?”

“You don’t knock anymore? What’s this.”

“Oh,pfft,” she sarcastically does so, before leaning her weight on the door handle as she looked at Bradley, “You aren’t going to eat? Everyone is waiting.” she jabs her thumb over her shoulder to where he could see that, indeed,the other pilots were there, standing not too far from Nat, waiting for him, “Come on.”

“Wait,” he narrowed his eyes at the clock, “Is it time? I thought I still had five minutes left.”

Phoenix shrugged, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Time flies when you're buried in paperwork, LC."

Bradley couldn't help but chuckle at her response. "You've got a point there. Let's not keep everyone waiting, then."

He closed the folder and stood up, taking one last sip of his coffee before setting the cup aside. The rain continued to drum against the windows, but inside the base, it was safe and unbelievably warm, which he was thankful.

“How are the twins?” she asks as the two walk to the Squad’s table, “And Nikki? Are they okay?’

“Yes, they are fine, the twins are still in the NICU but,” hse shrugs, “They are okay, it’s a waiting game now.”

“Hmhm…anyway,something planned for your birthday?”

Bradley's eyes widened as he realized that his birthday was indeed just around the corner. He had been so preoccupied with Bea and the twins, work and the recent influx of new recruits that he had completely forgotten about it.

"Oh, my birthday," he said, his voice tinged with surprise and a touch of embarrassment,scratching the back of his head. "I, uh, I haven't really thought about it, to be honest. With everything going on..."

Phoenix raised an eyebrow . "Come on, LC, you can't let your birthday go by without celebrating. We'll have to plan something, even if it's just a small get-together."

“You don’t have to call me LC,Nat.” he mutters, “It’s weird.” and now she was going to keep calling him that, why did he even open his mouth. “Besides,we don’t know if we’ll be deployed, with how things are going.”

“The new recruits taking a lot from you?”

He makes a face, “Cyclone wants them to ‘not hold any surprises’ like the last two.” which, from last he knew about, weren’t kicked out but were deeply reprimanded, “So it’s a long research and trial and error process…also,I’m not an LC yet, I still have to be officially promoted.”

The two were by the table when he said that, and Coyote heard his voice when those words came out, “We’ll still call you that, come on Rooster.” the mustached pilot makes a face, “You are the first of us to get there.”

Coyote's comment drew a few chuckles from the others at the table, but Bradley couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable with the attention. "Well, it's not official yet," he replied, trying to downplay it. "And I've still got a lot to learn."

Phoenix, sitting across from him, leaned forward with a grin. “Javy is right.You're the first among us to reach this point. We should celebrate."

Bradley rubbed the back of his neck, "I appreciate that, really. But let's not jinx it. And besides, there's still a lot of work to be done with the new recruits."

“Jinx it?” Payback asks, “Cyclone isn’t going to take it back from you, he’s not that kind.”

There was a collective nod of agreement from the table, and Bradley couldn't help but laugh almost in embarrassment over his friend’s words. He just decided to focus on having lunch and maybe mentioning something about his birthday while he was there.

Something that was odd,however, was Beatrice’s unusual silence early that morning. The last message she sent was that she got to the Hard Deck safely and was going to talk to Penny. He didn’t want to worry…

Well,he tried not to.

As Bradley settled into lunch with his squad, he joined in the conversation every now and again and it was fine… However, there was a nagging concern in the back of Bradley's mind, a worry that had crept in earlier that morning when Beatrice's messages had suddenly stopped. He knew he shouldn't jump to conclusions, but the silence from his wife, especially after such a harrowing experience as the birth of their premature twins, was cause for concern.

"Hey, Bradley," Phoenix said, snapping him out of his thoughts. "You seem a bit distracted. Everything alright?"

Bradley blinked, realizing he had been staring off into the distance. He forced a smile, though he knew it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Yeah, just thinking about some things."

Payback, who was seated next to him, leaned in. "What's on your mind, Rooster?"

Bradley hesitated for a moment, torn between his concern for Beatrice and not wanting to burden his squad with his personal worries. "It's Bea," he admitted, his voice tinged with unease. "She messaged me earlier, saying she got to the Hard Deck safely, but then her messages stopped. It's not like her to go radio silent."

Coyote, who had been quietly eating his lunch, looked up with concern. "You think something's wrong?"

Bradley shook his head. "I don't know. It's probably nothing, but...I can't help but worry, especially after what happened with the twins."

Phoenix placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure she's just caught up with something. Don't jump to conclusions, Rooster. Give her some time and try to contact her later."

He knew they were right; he shouldn't let his imagination run wild. Still, the unease gnawed at him, making it difficult to fully enjoy his lunch, because Beatrice’s well being was…of his highest interest. He worried about her, he wanted to know if she was okay and while he knew she could handle herself, this was very out of the ordinary.

As the meal continued, the conversation shifted to other topics, such as his birthday or how Hangman’s kid was going to be born soon. But even as he joined in the banter and shared stories of his own, his thoughts kept drifting back to Beatrice and the silence of her messages. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss.

So he sent her a quick message when everyone was distracted.

Roos (12:12)

Hey gorgeous :) everything okay? How was your talk with Penny?

And to his relief, she replied within seconds.

Bea (12:12)

Hey

Bea (12:13)

It was…something, haha…well, you have time for a call?

Bradley felt a wave of relief wash over him as he read Beatrice's response. Her messages may have been brief, but the fact that she was reaching out to him now eased some of the anxiety that had been building throughout the day. He quickly typed his response.

Roos (12:13)

Of course, Bea. Give me a sec.

Bradley excused himself from the table and made his way to a quieter area where he could have a more private conversation with Beatrice. He couldn't help but feel a sense of worry as he dialed her number. What could have happened that made her messages go silent earlier?

The call connected, and Bradley heard Beatrice's voice on the other end, warm and reassuring. "Hey, you," she said, and he could hear the exhaustion laced in her words.

"Hey, Bea," he replied, his concern evident. "You okay? I was worried when your messages suddenly stopped."

There was a sigh on the other end of the line, and Beatrice's voice carried a mix of frustration and weariness. "I'm sorry about that, Bradley. Things got a bit… chaotic here. Penny,Shells and I started working on some repairs, and then one thing led to another, and well…Penny wanted to talk."

“About what?”

There was a brief pause, “Those..suits tried to buy the bar off of her.” she whispers “And Penny wanted to talk to us, to both of us since Jessie is back in college right now and she can’t be in the bar.” she sighs quietly “I don’t know, it’s weird? Why this…weird obsession with the bar? They have their own, why would they need the Hard Deck?”

"That is weird," Bradley agreed, his voice thoughtful. "I mean, it's not just any bar. It's got a lot of history for us. And they have their own establishments. Why would they want this one?"

Beatrice let out a tired sigh on the other end of the line. "That's what I'm trying to figure out, Bradley. It just doesn't make sense. But Penny wanted us to be on the same page about it."

“Wait…you figure it out? Gorgeous.”

There was a brief pause before Beatrice spoke again, her voice softer this time. “You know what I mean I— I just love this place.”

He frowns, looking back at the squad still seated, “I know,gorgeous.” he says, “I do too…but there’s only so much we can do..okay? Also,random but,how are you holding up? You sound tired."

Beatrice let out a tired chuckle. "I'm exhausted, I guess. Just…a lot to think about. But…Penny said she didn’t want to make me anxious, just wanted me to know and she’d prefer to say it face to face."

Bradley's heart warmed at her words. " Just remember to take care of yourself too, okay? And the kids?"

Her voice softened as she spoke about their children. "The twins are okay,I just called the hospital before going there and Nikki is with Michael…he's been a real lifesaver. And as for me, I promise I'll rest when I can. Okay?"

"Okay," he replied, his voice filled with longing. "I wish I could be there with you. But I'll be home soon, and we'll talk about it over dinner, how’s that?"

"That sounds wonderful," Beatrice said, and Bradley could hear the smile in her voice. "I love you, Bradley."

"I love you too, Bea," he replied, his heart swelling with affection as he leans closer to the wall, keeping his voice low. "Stay safe, and we'll talk soon."

After ending the call with Beatrice, Bradley felt a renewed sense of reassurance. It was clear that Beatrice was dealing with a stressful situation, but he was glad it wasn’t that bad. When Penny talked to him it was like she was going to lead Bea into a spy mission or something with how intense she sounded.

As he returned to the squad's table, his friends looked at him with curiosity. Phoenix, in particular, seemed eager for an update. "Everything okay, Rooster?"

Bradley nodded, a small smile on his face. "Yeah, just a little hiccup at the Hard Deck. Nothing too worrisome."

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” he says, sitting back down, “What did I miss?”

“I’m home.” he calls,tossing his keys to the side and leaning down to pet the dogs who hurriedly came over to greet him, “Hey guys,where’s Beatrice at?” Eleanor turned her head towards Beatrice’s little studio,where he could see a light was on and there was the soft murmuring from his wife in there.

"Thanks, girl," Bradley said to Eleanor, giving her a final pat on her butt before standing up. He made his way down the hallway, the wooden floor creaking under his footsteps as he approached the studio door. He paused for a moment, listening to Beatrice's voice, the soothing cadence of her words making him smile.

He pushed the door open slowly and was greeted by the sight of Beatrice hunched over her desk, her long, brown hair cascading down as she focused intently on her work. She was surrounded by a sea of sketchbooks, pencils, and art supplies, her hands moving with practiced grace as she brought her latest creation to life.

Beatrice looked up as the door creaked open, her eyes, those green irises that are the death of him, lighting up with a mixture of surprise and delight when she saw Bradley standing there. She quickly set her sketchpad aside and got up from her chair, crossing the room in a few graceful strides.

"Hey, you," she greeted him with a loving smile, her arms wrapping around him in a tight hug. "Welcome home."

Bradley returned the hug, his arms enveloping her in a warm embrace. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair. "Missed you," he murmured into her hair.

"I missed you too," Beatrice replied, her voice filled with genuine affection. "How was your day?"

Bradley released her from the hug but kept his arms around her waist, reveling in the closeness. "Busy," he admitted with a small sigh. "But I can't complain too much."

Beatrice's hand reached up to gently stroke his cheek, her touch as tender as her words. "You're doing an amazing job, Bradley. I'm so proud of you."

He couldn't help but smile at her words. Beatrice had always been his biggest supporter, his anchor in the storm of their demanding professions. "Thanks, Bea. How about you? Did you rest when you came home?”

Beatrice sighed while leading him further into the studio, letting him sit down on the small couch there, “A little, after I went to the hospital for the twins and brought Nikki home, she’s asleep by the way…but I couldn’t stay in bed for too long. I was,” she flexed her finger, “Itching.”

“Yeah?”

“I think I wanted to ease some anxieties,’ she picks up a piece of paper, it’s harsh oil pastel lines forming the outside of the Hard Deck at night time, “And I was just…thinking about stuff,I guess.”

He hummed, plucking the paper from her hand to look down at it, following the lines that were a bit too deep in the paper - some parts even had bits of wax clinging to the surface - before saying, “It looks great.” she gives him a small smile as she crosses her arms and leans against her desk, “You alright?”

She shrugs, “...I think I’m wondering about things.”

“The bar?”

“Mhm.” she bites her lower lip,sucking on the plush flesh with her teeth gently nibbling it,”It’ll be alright but…Penny wouldn’t tell us anything unless she was worried.” she sighs and he leans back on his seat, patting his thighs. She wastes no time in plopping on his lap, hugging his middle while burying her face on his shoulder.

“I know.” he coos, kissing her jaw, “She can count on us for anything,gorgeous. But…we also have to worry about the kids and you have to worry about yourself.” he gently boops her nose with his finger when she gives him the puppy dog look, “...you have a huge heart. And you worry about those you care about a lot.” she pouts more, “And that’s a quality I love about you.”

“Thanks,Roos.” she sighs, pressing her cheek to his chest, ‘...seems like a lot at once,too soon,you know?”

He arches his brows, hugging her waist, “Boy do I ever.” he chuckles tiredly, “...it’ll be fine.”

“...I know.”

“I mean that,” he kisses her forehead, “...it’ll all be fine.”

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x named reader #tgm oc #tgm fic #tgm fanfiction

31 notes · View notes

eldritchsurveys · 6 years ago

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201.

What's your name? >> Mordred.

What time is it right now? >> 2.08p EST.

When were you born? >> 6.30p EST.

Who are you closest to in your family? >> No one. As far as I’m concerned, I was hatched and grown in a lab.

What is the closest green item to you? >> An Andes candy. (The wrapper, specifically.)

Would you rather text people or talk to them on the phone? >> I’d much rather text.

What program on your computer do you use the most? >> Google Chrome.

Do you have a cat? >> I don’t, but Sparrow does, and unfortunately that means I have to live with him too.

What is your middle name backwards? >> Yerf.

How often do you visit this website? >> tumblr? Just about daily.

Are you a good speller? >> I am.

Are you good at baking cupcakes? >> I am not.

Do you currently have a job? >> No.

What year did you/will you graduate in? >> I graduated in 2004.

Do you have your drivers liscence? >> Nope.

Does it take you long to fall asleep at night? >> Sometimes, but usually I fall asleep within an hour of laying down.

Do you think other people consider you a flirt? >> I can’t imagine where they’d even get such an impression.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? >> Ready for what? To sit on the couch? Pfft.

Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? >> I don’t think plastic surgery could give me what I want.

Do you smoke pot? >> Not anymore.

Who is your hero in life? >> I don’t have one of those.

What is your favorite breed of dog? >> Pitbulls.

Where is your favorite place to go out to eat? >> I don’t have one.

How long have you known your best friend? >> ---

What are your thoughts on abortion? >> I don’t really have thoughts on it. Like, I don’t care about the moral debate. I think it’s good that it’s legal and I hope it stays that way, and that’s all.

When do you think the world is going to end? >> I don’t believe in that concept.

Do you think there are aliens out there? >> I mean, my definition of “life” is pretty broad, so sure.

Do you believe in God? >> No.

Are you still a virgin? >> No.

Are you comfortable with our current goverment? >> No.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? >> Hm.

Are you a fan of anime? >> I never really got into it the way a lot of people did, but there are some anime I enjoy.

What kind of cell phone do you have? >> Moto g5 or something.

What color do you want your next car to be? >> ---

Can you type without looking at the keys? >> Yes.

How much money do you have on you right now? >> I don’t carry cash.

Do you smoke? >> No.

How tall are you? >> 5′5″ or so.

What is your favorite Christmas movie? >> It’s a Wonderful Life.

Do you celebrate your pet's birthdays? >> ---

Would you consider yourself selfish? >> Well, sure.

What kind of mood are you in right now? >> I’m not really in a mood.

Name your favorite song from the 80's. >> I... can’t possibly do that.

Are you a fan of Spongebob Squarepants? >> No, I never really liked it.

Do you like fruits or vegetables more? >> Vegetables, generally.

How much time a week do you spend watching TV? >> Maybe 6 hours altogether? Sometimes a couple more.

Do you play any sports? >> No.

Who was your last text message from? >> Nurx.

Do you like Taylor Swift? >> Not particularly.

Do you enjoy going grocery shopping? >> Not particularly.

Do you like skim milk? >> No.

Name two people in your life that mean the most to you. >> Can Calah means the most to me and that’s that.

Do you like short surveys or long ones better? >> I like them on the longer side, but there is a limit.

Are you a Facebook addict? >> No. I deleted facebook.

Have you ever appeared on television? >> Yeah, as a child.

Do you like to read? >> Yes.

What is your favorite kind of cookie? >> Pecan shortbread and thin mints.

Do you have any kids of your own? >> No.

What was your first job? >> Restaurant.

Do material things matter to you? >> Sure. I like stuff, I just don’t like an excess of it.

Where is your favorite city? >> New Orleans.

What was your last dream about? >> I don’t remember now.

Are you currently going to college? >> No.

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? >> V.

Do you shop at Wal-Mart? >> Sometimes.

Do you usually have good luck? >> I don’t know, I don’t really pay attention to whether my luck seems good or not.

Do you get bored easily? >> I’m prone to restlessness, which I guess is a kind of boredom.

What annoys you the most about other people? >> Hm.

Are you currently in a relationship? >> I am in relationships of varying types.

Have you ever been drunk before? >> Yes.

Are you afraid of flying? >> Not at all, I love it.

Have you ever been bitten by an animal (not an insect)? >> No.

Have you ever been in a physical fight? >> Yeah.

Are you good at drawing? >> Not to my standard.

How many text messages do you think you send in one month? >> Like... five or ten.

Have you ever had a stalker? >> No. Unless they were a really good stalker and I was never aware of them.

What grosses you out the most? >> Oh, I don’t know.

How much sleep do you get every night? >> Anywhere from 4 to 9 hours.

When's the last time you threw up? >> Last year sometime.

What is your idea of the perfect date? >> ---

Are you more of a morning or night person? >> I think I’m more into mornings than nights these days.

Can you speak more than one language? >> No.

Do you own anything from Hollister? >> No.

Do you stereotype people? >> I’m sure I do. I just try not to base my whole opinion of a stranger based on flawed pattern-recognition metrics.

Are you immature for your age? >> I don’t bloody know, man. It’s not a concern of mine.

Are you afraid of spiders? >> Not at all.

Are you tired right now? >> I was more tired before, but I’m all right now.

What was the last thing you ate? >> A few cookies.

What is your favorite flavor of milkshake? >> Cookies and cream.

Have you ever seen the movie Rent? >> Yeah, a while ago.

Who is your favorite celebrity? >> I don’t know.

What's the highest number you've counted to out loud? >> I... don’t know?

What is your favorite video game? >> ---

Do you wear contacts or glasses? >> No.

Are you looking forward to summer this year? >> Yes, for the weather if nothing else.

Do you have trouble letting go of the past? >> Maybe? Some aspects of it. Things that never got resolved.

Do you like your hair better straight or curly? >> ---

Do you wish you would grow taller? >> No.

Do your parents make you do chores? >> ---

Have you ever been to the circus? >> No.

What's the longest word you know? >> I have no idea.

Do you use teeth whitener? >> No.

Do you keep your room neat and clean? >> I try.

Can you count to ten in French? >> I remember some of the numbers but not all.

Do you think war is an acceptable way of solving problems? >> I think it’s certainly one strategy. Whether it’s the right one or not is best figured out by people that aren’t me.

Have you ever kissed anyone named Bob? >> No.

Do you have a little sister? >> No.

Do you speak with an accent? >> Everyone does, to someone. So, yes.

We're you a bad child when you were younger? >> No.

Do you get grumpy often for no reason? >> I’m prone to irritability because of mental illness, yeah.

Do you want to have kids/more kids in the future? >> No.

What is your dream career? >> No.

Do you iron your clothes? >> Nope.

Do you like to go tanning? >> I don’t need to go tanning.

Are you the type of person who likes to party a lot? >> No.

Would you consider your family "rich"? >> ---

Are you addicted to sugar? >> No. I was raised in a sugar-free household so I never really developed a sweet tooth.

Have you ever tried using a dating website? >> Yeah, often.

What's the weirdest food you've ever eaten? >> I don’t know.

What is/was your favorite class in school? >> ---

What is your favorite type of exercise? >> DDR.

Do you believe in getting revenge on someone who's hurt you? >> Do I believe in it...? I mean, if that’s what someone wants to do, far be it for me to stop them. I’m just not interested in revenge, myself. I don’t have the patience or the motivation.

Do you live near any volcanoes? >> No.

Name one word that you always have trouble pronouncing. >> I can’t think of one, but whatever it is, it’s probably in Irish.

Have you ever ridden in a taxi? >> Yes.

What's your favorite color? >> Gold.

Would you rather use crayons or colored pencils? >> Coloured pencils. I never liked crayons.

Have you ever had a migraine? >> Nope.

Tell me something about yourself that you don't normally tell people. >> If I don’t normally share it, it’s for a good reason.

Have you ever served in the military? >> No. I’d literally rather die.

What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? >> Veggie burger and chips.

Do you go to the gym? >> No.

Do you know how to write HTML? >> More or less. I know a lot of it has changed since I last wrote code, but I have enough of a background in it to figure it out.

What is your favorite book? >> Right.

Do you have any songs that seem to fit your life perfectly? >> Yeah, but not because of lyrics or anything. They just sound right.

How many concerts have you been to? >> So many.

Have you ever tried "planking"? >> Not that kind. I’ve done planks as exercise though.

Do you shop at Hot Topic? >> Yep.

Are you confident with your appearance? >> I just don’t think about my appearance a whole lot. I’m not trying to be sexually appealing and I don’t work in an industry where my appearance matters, so I really don’t have much reason to care what I look like outside of just being clean and presentable.

Do you have trouble sitting still for long periods of time? >> Now I do. I was great at it as a child, but I get restless too easily now.

Do you use the alarm clock on your phone or do you have an actual alarm? >> If I ever need an alarm I just use my phone.

Is your internet connection fast? >> It’s passable.

Do you enjoy snow? >> Not much anymore.

What are your initials? >> MD.

Are you paranoid of other people talking about you behind your back? >> Not usually.

Are you germaphobic? >> No.

Do you get along with your parents? >> ---

Have you ever had food poisoning? >> Yeah, twice.

Are you impatient? >> Sometimes.

What is your favorite thing to put on a sandwhich? >> It depends on what I’m in the mood for.

Do you trust yourself with big responsibilities? >> I guess? I mean, who else am I gonna trust?

Do you like long car rides? >> Not really. I like the travelling aspect, but I don’t like the “being folded up in a vehicle for long periods of time without being able to move” aspect.

How often do you shower? >> Twice a week.

Do you consider yourself a bully? >> No.

Who were you last mad at and why? >> I don’t remember.

Are your parents currently togther? >> They never were.

Do you find the rain calming? >> Sometimes.

What's your favorite flavor of ice cream? >> Vanilla bean, I guess.

Do you follow football? >> No.

Have you ever had an emotional breakdown? >> Yes. It still amazes me that there are people walking around that have never had one, ever. Wild.

Do you think tomorrow will be a good day for you? >> I can’t predict the future.

Are you in a good mood? >> I’m not in a mood at all, which is good enough for me.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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annasbones · 4 years ago

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Musings

Ok so now I’m on the laptop its easier to type and let it all out.

My life right now is revolving around two major subjects; Jakob and intermittent fasting/weight loss.

Jakob first.

This time last week I was a wreck. I was crying and struggling to comprehend that he had gone. It was made worse by the fact that he couldn’t get home in the way he originally planned to and it turned into a massive 30 hour journey or something stupid. i was relieved when he let me know he was back at his family home.

Since then I have had bad days where I miss him terribly and wish he would come back. Wish it would be back to how it was and that he never left. In actuality it was never perfect. He was a damaged, unhappy soul. I could not fix that. We had good times but ultimately Sunday night always came around and he would be sad. I’ve never been with someone who struggled with those types of mental problems. He was a fragile man in many ways but also a truly loving and caring one. It was exhausting for me sometimes to stay afloat and not drown with him. I think his decision to give up, quit and leave was wrong. He quit so quickly and it then happened very fast.

But now he is gone. It’s 1 week later and he isn’t coming back. I mentioned the idea of ‘do you think its weird that we were still talking but will never see each other again?’ and he said no/doesn’t try to think about it. That is fair enough. I wanted him to say we will see each other again in some capacity. I would go to him in a heartbeat. I can’t imagine him coming back here. I need to move my life forward and so does he. I’m worried for how his future looks... Germany is not coming out of lockdown anytime soon and he doesn’t have any income. IDK about unemployment money but it’s just another thing that irks me - how or why couldn’t he continue to work at VF for just a few more months. So he could job skip. I know it’s a regret of his but oh well... He will move into a new place and then get back to normal I hope.

For us i want to feel like we’re not just exchanging formalities. Now we’re over the initial shock period it is time to heal. But I want to talk to you all the time and tell you about what’s going on in my life - vice versa. Apart from when it comes to girls/guys. I don’t want that for at least a year... I’m just not ready. We had such a fail relationship really. Maybe when he is back working and things are a little more normal we can get more flirty... last week wasn't ideal as hashtag period was a happening.

So for today its the 8th February 2021 i think... I miss you and want to be back in your arms more than anything else. But I will let you go eventually. x

Second topic of discussion featuring in my internal monologue... IF and weight loss!

So, after he left 7 days ago I found that my appetite was shot. I didn’t eat for almost 3 days and felt so defeated. I had a takeaway on the wednesday and then ate again on Friday. i then ate on Sunday. So during the weekend i realised what I had essentially been doing was intermittent fasting. And it wasn’t super hard. I’ve buried myself in the subreddit and have bigged up myself on peoples stories of losing 15lbs in the first month etc and decided it’s something I will commit to.

I didn’t weigh myself last Monday so i can’t really claim weight loss. Right now i’m hovering around 201/2lbs which isn’t my highest but urghhh it’s big enough. Way too big. I had a think and if I am really good and actually stick to this thing I could lose some serious weight. First goal is 180. When i was hungry at the weekend I said to myself ok you can order a bird/take out whatever when you see 18x on the scale. It will have been early 2018 when i last weighed 185 or something. That will be a big achievement for me. So at the moment I am fasting and eating a big calorie deficit. I hope when i go to write my next entry I will be lower lower lower. I just need to avoid alcohol.

Now what I haven’t put is my long term goal and why. I want by summer time to have lost 50lbs. I want to look at myself and feel good. I want to have DONE THAT. I also want to do this... there isn’t a way of typing it any differently or saying it but i want to do this to look good for HIM. I always struggled with the weight difference between Jakob and I. I couldn’t feel sexy around him. So when I do hopefully get to my magic 150... in my stupid head i will think yes now I can initiate us seeing each other again and hooking up. It sounds INSANE but I want him to want me and to think i LOOK GOOD. That is good motivation and drive. It was not a horrible break up but I sure do feel bitter about it. Like ok i’m going to go full ex gf hotness on your ass and make you regret everything.

... Which is dumb. because he was always going to leave no matter how good the pussy was. I mean today even he said ah if i had worked at vf until april whilst living in GERMANY i could have saved 5k or something. pfft.

So i guess you could say i have 2 goals: 50lbs and to”get my manz back”. one of those is likely to not happen. i’ll check back in...

So yah as of today I'm 201/2ish. I had a meal yesterday that finished around 2:30pm and then i ate at 12:30pm today. It was a small meal maybe around 500calories and I don’t plan to eat again until tomorrow around the same time. Hell, I might even fast buuuuut i gotta eat that pepper.

I am also doing apple fitness+ which whilst is not super motivating it is something to do and it’s free for now. i really hope the weight starts to drop off.

i think that’s it?? I am still doing my german duo lingo which is kind of pointless but one day I will go back to germany and who knows, maybe i’ll see jakob maybe i won’t, but my German will be GOOD! It’s good to have goals. it’s good that I have this free time and availability to do whatever the fuck I want... I can fast and not worry about feeding someone else for however long.

it’s hard to keep up with friends. i love them dearly but sometimes i just don’t want to reply.

i hope by the beginning of March which is in 3 weeks i will be down to 193. and then by the beginning of april it will be 180. see where I'm going with this? k I'm going to have a pee now and then do 20 mins of apple yoga. peace

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vertigocrime · 8 years ago

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1 to 117. I dare you.

I’m going to fight who ever did this lmao

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? Idk if he likes me back as much as I like him back

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?Hah no, kind of wished I did

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?Yes I would care. It’s not like i’m against it as the thing itself, I just cannot stand the smell at all.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?Sometimes. I wouldn’t say I trust anyone. I’ve never really trusted anyone, so I guess that’s why i’m so mysterious at school lmao

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?Talking to the guy I like and emailing a college to talk about my application.

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?Probably @stink-burritos

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?Dump the loser, and if he tries to comeback I’ll make him hurt really bad. Mentally and physically. Nobody hurts me like that without hurting themselves.

8: Are you close with your dad? Eh kind of. He’s an asshole.

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?Hah you wish, nah I didn’t.

10: What are you listening to?My parents watching Bleach downstairs

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?Thai tea

12: Do you like hickeys?Maybe, haven’t gotten one yet, just not in a visible area I guess.

13: What time do you go to bed? It differs. Sometimes it’s 12:00am, 1:00am, or 3:00am

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? I don’t really depend on anyone so no

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? Nah, I’m fast with one hand but two hands is faster when texting

16: Do you always answer your texts?Yes unless it’s a conversation ending text

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?No I don’t, it was hard to forgive him, but he’s a good guy

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? like 6 hours ago

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?My crush~~~ I like seeing his name when he texts me back

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?I might see my crush on Wednesday

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? My cat, does he count? lol

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? Yeah

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?Debatable. Loads of shit is happening right now and i’m not sure if i’m happy or if i’m sad.

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? Not right now

25: In the past week, have you cried?

Yes

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?Not wearing a shirt rn, just in my sports bra

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?No, wouldn’t mind though

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?Probably my crush, but tbh he’s super busy doing homework so that I can go over to his place tomorrow

29: Do you have a best friend? Kind of?

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?Yes, but we aren’t dating so it’s fine.

31: Who was your last call/text message from? My friend Jack

32: Are you mad at anyone?I’m mad at P

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Pfft yes. My crush is almost 3 years older than me

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? 21

35: How many more days until your birthday?201 days

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?Road trip with @stink-burritos to the beach~

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? Almost all of my friends are guys

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? No not really

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?Nothing comes to mind lol

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? No

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? tbh, no. When I was 15 I was fooling around with a 20 year old, and when I was 17 I was fooling around with a 25 year old. I genuinely liked these two guys, nobody made me like them and they didn’t manipulate me.

42: Are you available?Single? Yes, but my mind is taken over by my crush;;

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? high school hasn’t ended for me yet

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?Probably my lip

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?Yeah, i’m good friends with some of my exes. See now, it’s the could-have-been’s that you can’t be friends with

46: Do you regret anything? Playing in P’s confession and saying that I liked him even though I actually didn’t

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? Nothing

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?Yes, twice. Still friends with both of them, but we don’t share everything with each other anymore

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?Nope!

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?I am pursuing them

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?No not yet

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?Yep!

53: What was the last thing you ate?Something like Chicken Alfredo

54: Did you get any compliments today?Maybe??? Idk I don’t remember lol

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?Disney World in April-May

56: Do you own anything from other countries?I have a few Italian souvenirs I picked up when I went there, a Vietnam shirt my parents bought me, some Chinese money, a paper bead necklace from orphans in Africa. But if I take the question literally then I own something from almost every country since stuff gets traded and imported c:

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?Almost all guys

58: Where have you lived most of your life?Texas

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?Last semester when driving to class lol

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?Yes

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?Nope

62: Who do you text the most?This past 2 weeks have been my crush~~~

63: What was the last movie you saw?Madoka Magika movie the beginning

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?I don’t have a boyfriend.girlfriend

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? Two

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? Yes, but he was only younger by a month

67: Do you curse around your parents? I did once (Nothing happened btw lol)

68: Are you happy with where you live?Yes kind of. Wouldn’t mind getting away

69: Picture of yourself?

A post shared by Elora Hale (@vertigo_crime) on Feb 27, 2017 at 6:49am PST

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?Monogamous

71: Have you ever been dumped?Once

72: What do you most like about making out?Taking a peak at the other person’s face in between kisses when your breath is combined

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

Hmm no

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? Usually the other, i’m too shy

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?Their face is first

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?My crush~~

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?I’ve never had sex

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?I’ve never had sex

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?My crush, I can’t stop thinking about him staring at me while I watched Pokémon and the dumb face he made when I gave him a side glance, such a cute smile ebewkjberwkgk

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?Maybe, most likely if i’m older though, can’t handle children right now

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?Yes

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? No not really, I’ve only recently grown some balls when confessing my feelings lol

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?Uh, nah?? I don’t miss my last boyfriend.

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?Forever ago so idk

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?No I haven’t

86: How can I win your heart?Idk lol, just be you

87: What is your astrological sign?Virgo

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?Being asleep lol

89: Do you cook?Yep!

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? Yes, but I usually fight for a friendship

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?Yes, with my crush~

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? monogamous relationships

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?If their eyes are beautiful, that’s the first thing. If I can stare into your eyes then hell yes. Then it’s the smile. If the smile is genuinely cute or true, then hell yes. Body type is next. I usually go for thinner guys, fit or not.

94: Name four things that you wish you had!- My crush (oooooooo)- Choi Seungcheol- tickets to a BTS fan meet- tickets to a Seventeen fan meet

95: Are you a player?I am without even knowing, why tf do so many people like me???

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?No

97: Are you a tease?Yes, 100%

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? Nope!

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? Yes

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?Hmm, none that I can think of

101: Hugs or Kisses?Kisses

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? Pfft yes

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?Their face

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? nrivdjkbvwbkb yes

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

No, i’d tell them to break it off if they want to do anything. If they’re willing to cheat then fuck no. In my opinion it’s better to leave someone for someone else than to cheat on that someone with someone else.

106: Do you flirt a lot?Unconsciously yes

107: Your last kiss?Last Wednesday 2/22/2017

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? LOL, nah.

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month? Yes my crush~~

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?My crush~~

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?My crush

112: Does someone like you currently?Too many people

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone? My crusshshhhhh

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?I want a serious relationship, but i’m so terrible at maintaining them

115: Ever made out with just a friend?Nope

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?A bit of both. I’m lonely when single, but I kind of feeling caged when in a relationship

117: Who are you to challenge me to answer all 117 of these???

#Verti talks #anon #answered #this took awhile lmao #bet you thought I couldn't do it lol

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