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skipper1331 · 8 months ago

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Obviously in love // Grace Clinton

a/n: based off this request:)

Grace Clinton liked you.

You liked Grace Clinton.

Everybody knew.

Everybody but the two of you.

Several occasions showed exactly that.

It started with the many superstitions the two of you had or rather shared. The girls would always tease you about it while both of you claimed and often argued that you‘d play horrible if not doing so.

1.) Grace always had to do your hair. Each time she would do a different hairstyle, each of them done perfectly as your hair wouldn‘t ever get in the way, no matter what happened.

2.) You had to tie her boots. Yes, she was able to do it herself, (like you were capable of doing your hair yourself) but something about you tying her shoes gave her enough confidence to shoot from every angle and distance on the pitch. And score goals.

3.) "ready to win?"

"Ready whenever you are"

"Popcorn!" Celin shouted as she entered the living room with three bowels of popcorn balancing in her hands.

The Tottenham girls were sat around the couches, arm chairs and bean bags as the movie marathon was about to begin.

Grace and you shared a bean bag, yourself sitting in between her legs while your back rested against her front and her arms were loosely wrapped around your mid section. "Try not to fall asleep to soon, yeah pretty girl?" the midfielder purred, in responds your hands pinched her thighs "If i remember correctly it was you who snored like a grizzly bear the last time" you giggled as Gracie attacked you with pokes in your side. She only stopped when she felt a smack against the back of her head, "movie starts" the captain stated. You settled back in her arms while she pulled you closer.

Her arms brought you a type of comfort nobody ever could.

It was save to say that Grace loved the spare key she had to your home. She used it at every opportunity she got, opening the door when you were with her "I have my own key, I can open the door for us" proudly showing the key on her key chain. Or other than that, letting herself in when you weren‘t there as she made herself a home and even using the key when you were at home but didn‘t expect her to come over.

You stood in the kitchen, preparing your dinner when you felt arms snuggling around your waist, a head resting on your shoulder. You shrieked, caught completely off guard as you yet melted in the grasp, your favourite scent filling the air.

"Gracie! You promised me!" you grumbled, turning around as you stared at the midfielder with crossed arms, "you can‘t just come over and use the spare key! It‘s for emergencies"

"It is an emergency!" she defended herself, arms up in surrender.

"What‘s the emergency, hm?"

"I missed you" she stated, pulling you close before she hid her face in the crook of your neck, mumbling something inaudible.

You sighed, asking "Do you want some dinner?" your fingers combing through her hair.

"Yes, please"

"You‘re staring" the voice of Beth appeared next to you, calling you back to reality.

"What did you say?"

"You‘ve got something in your eye" she repeated as you looked at her, "what? Where?" trying to find what and in which eye.

"Grace"

You glared at her while she laughed her ass off.

"Shut up!" you hit her arm, Grace already skeptically looking at the two of you from the other side of the pitch, about to make her way over.

"Come one, you like her" Beth said now in an softer tone, "and she likes you"

"We‘re best friends!" you replied, slight anger in your voice.

"Whatever you say, babes"

After tossing and turning for hours, you came to the realization that you weren‘t able to sleep. You didn‘t why but it annoyed you. Physically you were tired, your eyes closing every now and then but you just couldn’t fall into a deep slumber.

Not knowing what to do, but desperately in the need and want of sleep, you reached for your phone.

"Hello?" The sleepy voice rasped.

"Gracie?"

"What‘s wrong? Are you okay?" She shot up from her bed, you never called at such a late hour and with the shakiness in your voice she thought of the worst.

"I don‘t know, sorry. Forget about it" you mumbled, regretting that you called her at 3am.

"Wait-" but you had already hung up. You would find a way to sleep.

On the other side of the phone, Grace was already out of bed, throwing a hoodie and joggers over her pyjama. She raced through the apartment, every possible light on, searching for eventually needed stuff, not being bothered by the noises she made which woke up her flatmate.

"What are you doing? It‘s in the middle of the night" Celin said, leaning in her door frame while she rubbed her eyes.

"Something’s wrong"

"Do we have an intruder?!" she yelled, grabbing for the nearest weapon in her room.

"What? No. Something‘s wrong with my- Y/N"

Celin watched Grace pace through the kitchen, collecting your favourite snacks which she had stored in her home in case you hung out here, craving some of them.

"When are you going to tell her that you like her?"

"We‘re best friends"

"Are you telling me that or yourself? Everybody knows you like each other"

In silence, she put on her shoes, backpack filled with essentials before she rushed out of the house.

When she opened the door, she was met with darkness. Because of this, she assumed that you were in your bedroom. Gently, she opened the door-

"What the fuck!" you yelled, frightened. You switched on your lamp, staring at the midfielder, "you scared the shit out of me!" suddenly wide awake.

"I scared the shit out of you? You scared the shit out of me!" she replied, putting down her backpack and walking over to 'her' side of the bed - the side she slept in when she was staying over. "What are you doing here?" you asked, already knowing the answer.

"You called me and then hung up on me all of sudden." she slipped under the duvet, closing the distance, "I was worried" her hands found your waist, pulling you in her grasp before she continued, "what‘s wrong? There’s a reason you called me, so please don‘t say 'nothing'"

Looking away from her, you could feel your cheeks heating up embarrassingly.

"I couldn’t- can‘t sleep" you muttered, "and I can always sleep when you‘re here, so-"

"you thought asking me to come over would help until you realized it’s three in the morning?" she finished your sentence.

you nodded.

"I‘m sorry"

"Don’t be, I’m glad you called me" the girl tangled your legs together, resting her head on the pillow, "Besides, it's a full moon, no wonder you couldn't sleep"

With that being said, you hugged her back, resting your head on her chest like you always did.

And within a few minutes you were asleep, the rhythm of her heartbeat lulling you into a slumber.

Derbies were always rough matches, especially when it was Arsenal.

As it was now.

Grace and you were both in the starting lineup, excited to play against the gunners - some of your national teammates.

"Ready to win?" you asked Gracie, the girl already staring at you with heart eyes (which was unnoticed by you).

"Ready whenever you are" she replied, smiling - an unspoken rule to have this small conversation while you waited in the tunnel - Grace always lined up behind you.

In the first half, both teams had their chances, sadly none of Tottenhams and thankfully none of Arsenals leading to a goal.

With Katie McCabe on your side, it was rather physically exhausting, the Irish woman challenging you in more than one way. Each time, Grace saw you hitting the ground, she was about to rip Katie‘s head off, only calming down when she saw you get up right away. Yet her anger was still very much present in the break. She was holding your hand tightly, in the need of your touch to reduce her anger.

In the first few minutes after halftime, Alessia opened the score, fueling more pressure on the team for the equalizer. The game got rougher and more physical as tackles came sliding in from multiple players.

When Tottenham was awarded a corner kick and it came flying in your direction, you jumped up, trying to head it somewhere near the goal. But instead of hitting the ball, you felt another head smack against yours.

Grace watched in horror as you went down while her legs started to work on their own - sprinting towards you. Blood trickled down your forehead, making the midfielders stomach twist. Multiple people were at your side, including the Arsenal player who caused your injury. She pushed everybody aside, kneeling down next to you, "Get the fuck away from my girl" pure venom laced in her voice as she shoved the gunner away, her full attention on you and you only. You had a nasty cut on your forehead, eyes barely staying open. You could hear your favourite voice talking, but you didn‘t understand what she was saying - was she even talking to you? All you knew was that her hand was holding yours. You knew her touch. You‘d always recognize her touch - no matter what.

"Mate, what‘s your problem?!" Katie McCabe snarled, matching her attitude while pulling her on her collar. "My problem?!" Grace jumped up, her hands bloody from holding yours, "She‘s fucking bleeding"

"And? Everybody hurts themselves. It‘s a physical game after all!"

"She‘s not just anyone!" with that she shoved Katie to the floor, all her anger bubbling over. Of course, the defender was up on her feet in less than 10 seconds, starting to shove Grace around, both of them yelling at each other.

Katie had to be held back by Leah and Kim while Beth and Ashleigh pulled Grace away who was still shouting at the Irish woman.

How dare she to say anything about you?!

Winning the fa cup against Manchester United was amazing and something massive. Tottenham made history that day. Unfortunately, Grace wasn‘t allowed to play yet that didn’t stop her from cheering for the spurs, especially for you. When you scored the opening goal, Grace thought her heart might explode with all the pride she felt and when Marta made it 3-1 in the 89‘. The deal was settled.

After receiving your medals and the pitch-celebrations died down, the team decided to go out tonight.

When you entered the bar/club, you were met with very loud but fancy music, people dancing everywhere and a few of your mates sitting at a table chatting. Not in the mood to dance just yet, you joined them, greeting everybody before taking a seat in Grace‘s lap - nothing new.

Her mouth fell open as she almost drooled at the sight of you, "you look- wow" she breathed out, completely in love with you.

"Thank you!" you grinned, " you don‘t look bad yourself" while checking her out the best you could - but indeed, she wasn‘t looking bad, she looked gorgeous.

"Do you want a drink?" she asked, squeezing your hips.

"Yes, that would be nice" you replied, making no move to get up, "don‘t you want to ask what drink I‘d like?"

"I know you quite well by now" with that she got up before gently guiding you back down in her chair.

While Celin tried to make conversation with you, you only had eyes for the midfielder, admiring her from afar. You frowned when a lady approached her and started talking to her. Your jaw clenched, chest tightening as you glared daggers into the woman’s head. What‘s her problem? the strangers hand touched Grace‘s arm as she discreetly stepped closer. "Someone is flirting with Y/N‘s girl" one of the girls teased, your friends laughing at her joke. That comment made your jealousy grow, your hands balling into fists as you tried to keep your cool. "Aren‘t you going to do something?" Charli asked, sensing your frustration.

With a huff you got up, marching over to the beast who was talking to the beauty.

Stepping between both of them, you leaned against the counter, "hi! I‘m her girlfriend and you are?" your voice sounded firm and stern, Grace taken aback by your statement and your sudden outburst.

"Sorry" the girl was quick to flee the scene, not wanting any drama as well because she was scared and intimidated by you and your presence.

After the girl was gone, Grace grabbed your hips, pulling your back against her front, "What was that?" she asked, her voice raspy.

"That creature was flirting with you" you replied stubbornly, crossing your arms as you tried to leave her touch.

"Stop" Grace grumbled, pulling you back, "relax" she ordered softly, her arms wrapping fully around your midsection. As on cue, you melted in her embrace, letting all anger flow away.

"So, what was that?"

"What was what? I just wanted my drink" you answered yet defensively.

"None of that, it‘s me" she whispered as you intertwined your fingers, "were you jealous?"

You sighed, "yes"

The young lioness froze, she didn‘t expect you to be straight up honest with her. She knew you had never lied to her and she wouldn‘t assume that you would ever lie at her, but she indeed thought that you would avoid admitting your obvious jealousy.

"I don‘t like it when other people flirt with you" you mumbled after you had turned around, looking at her.

Not wanting to push you any further, she kissed your forehead in responds before guiding you on the dance floor.

"They‘re disgustingly cute" Charli told Celin as they watched the two of you dance.

"And obviously so in love"

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cookiescribble · 1 year ago

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Show Me How To Be Whole Again

A/N: hi everyone! This is the fic I've been working on for eight months 😮‍💨. I hope it came out as well as I hoped it would 😅 - mod angel

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: When Spencer is abducted, you rush to the team to make sure you're there when they find him. After you get home, Spencer's behavior starts to get more and more concerning, and you're desperate for answers. (based on 2x15 and the aftermath of that episode)

Word Count: 7.1k

CW: Mentions of abduction, violence, drug addiction, withdrawal, arguing. some angst in the middle but i am incapable of writing something without a happy ending.

~~~~~

The call came early in the morning. They said they called you as soon as they could.

If you were thinking rationally, or if you could stand being alone for 5 minutes after hearing the news, maybe you would’ve stayed home. But you couldn’t stay put knowing Spencer was in trouble.

You quickly threw a few days’ worth of clothes in a carry-on bag and took the first flight out of the nearest airport. You were trying so hard to keep yourself together and not break down crying on a crowded airplane, but the thoughts just kept rushing in your head. You were so worried about him.

When you landed, you called the team and told them you were going to the police station and you were going to stay there until they found him. You wouldn’t let anyone argue with you. You wouldn’t be able to calm down until they found him anyway, so being anywhere else didn’t make sense.

You didn’t really think of what you’d do when you got there. You’d just been on autopilot since you got the call. You were hoping someone would meet you there.

When you frantically burst through the doors of the police station, JJ was standing there waiting for you. You dropped your bag and hugged her tight.

“It was my fault,” she choked out, sobbing. “We were together and… we split up… I shouldn’t have split up…”

You shook your head vigorously. “No, no, you’re not the one who abducted him. It’s not your fault.” You were also sobbing now. You tried taking deep breaths to calm yourself, but all you could think about was what could possibly be happening to Spencer right now.

You calmed down enough to ask, “Where is everybody else?”

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath herself. “We set up at the unsub’s house. He took Spence to a secondary location, and Garcia set up there to get to his computers.” She looked down. “I really should be getting back there.”

You nodded while she talked. “I’m coming with you,” you announced.

She looked at you, concerned. “We can’t risk you-“

You cut her off. “I am coming with you. I’m staying with you until we find him,” you stated forcefully.

She didn’t argue further. She could see the desperation in your eyes, you’re sure. Even someone who didn’t analyze behavior for a living could see that. “Alright. Let’s go.”

…

You arrived at the house. You couldn’t tell how long the car ride took; every second felt like an hour.

When everybody saw you, they took turns giving you a hug. You could tell they were concerned that you were here, but they could see how devastated you were. You think they understood.

You hung around while they all did their jobs and tried to find Spencer. You sat next to Penelope and watched as she tried to do whatever she could to help find him.

Time passed. The team was coming in and out of the room as they needed to. Derek was probably in here the most, giving his moral support to Penelope.

Suddenly, the monitors in front of you lit up.

“What‘s happening?” Derek asked.

“I… don’t know,” Penelope answered.

Your heart dropped as an image popped up on the screen.

It was Spencer. He was sitting in a chair, his hands tied together. He was wearing the clothes you watched him pack on the morning you last saw him.

He looked so scared.

“Guys! Get in here!” you heard Derek yell.

You couldn’t look away from the screen.

The rest of the team rushed in, faces dropping as they saw what was happening.

Someone was talking in the background of the stream. You couldn’t hear them. Your heart was thumping so hard you could hear it in your ears. Spencer was replying to whatever they were saying. Through your loud heartbeat, you could hear his trembling voice. Your eyes started to water.

After a few moments, you heard someone near you say something and suddenly you were being pulled away from the screen and into another room.

When you realized what was happening, you looked up to see Hotch holding your shoulders, pushing you away from the horrific scene unfolding on the monitors.

You started sobbing. “I have to see him,” you tried to say, but your voice was cracking.

“No. You saw that he’s alive. That’s all you need to see.” he said firmly. He was protecting you from seeing something that would truly break you.

You couldn’t argue. What you saw shook you to your very core; you couldn’t go back in there. You squeezed your eyes shut and nodded. “You’re going to find him and bring him back safe.” It wasn’t a question. You knew they’d find him. They had to.

You took a step back, telling Hotch he could go back to the team in the other room, and that you were okay out here.

You sat at a table, laying your head down and covering it with your arms. You had started crying, and you couldn’t stop. How could they do this to him? He’s never done anything to hurt anybody. All he does is help people. How could someone look at him and feel anything other than warmth, comfort, and love?

You heard footsteps come into the room. The girls came in and sat around you. You picked your head up to look at them, your eyes already swollen from crying so much.

“What happened?” you asked frantically. Your heart was racing again.

“He’s okay,” Emily said quickly. “He’s alive. The unsub… made him choose a victim to keep alive, but there’s going to be more victims… and then the camera cut off.” She took a deep breath. “It looked like making that decision let him live.”

You buried your face in your hands. This was so cruel. you knew he dealt with bad people every day, but… this was so heartbreaking. How could someone feel so little remorse for other human beings that they force an innocent person to decide someone’s fate?

You took deep breaths to try not to cry again. “I can tell he’s in so much pain right now… He’s going to blame himself for all those people’s deaths. The guilt is going to eat him up inside. He’ll feel horrible even if he does make it out of this.”

Everyone took turns patting your back to reassure you. “He is going to make it out of this. He’ll be home soon.”

You nodded, forcing yourself to believe it. You had to believe it. If you didn’t believe it… you would break down more than you ever have before.

…

You stayed in that room for what felt like an eternity. The team took turns keeping you company when they weren’t busy. They gave you vague updates to let you know that Spencer was still alive. They didn’t tell you details of what they saw. You didn’t ask. Seeing the somber looks on their faces told you all you needed to know.

Eventually, everyone came rushing out of the room, putting on their coats and practically running out the door. Penelope came to sit with you, her eyes wide and full of hope. “They found where he is. They’re going to him now.” She hugged you tightly. “He’s going to be okay.”

Tears leaked out of your eyes again. This time they were happy tears. The immense rush of relief you felt was enough to render you speechless for a while, until you finally choked out, “They’re going to call us when he’s safe?” She nodded eagerly and you let out a huge sigh of relief.

The wait felt like forever. You were still nervous. What if they don’t get to him in time? What if they’re just barely too late?

Finally, finally Penelope’s phone rang. She answered quickly, nodding at what she was hearing. Eventually she hung up and looked at you, smiling. “He’s with them now. The unsub is dead. They’re rushing an ambulance but his injuries seem minor considering… what’s been happening.”

You closed your eyes and took another big sigh of relief. “I’m going to meet the ambulance there,” you declared.

Penelope looked at you quizzically. “I don’t know if-“

“You said the unsub is dead,” you cut her off. “There’s no more danger. I’m going to him.” You saw keys to one of the FBI vehicles that was left over since they had multiple people to a van. You picked them up and tossed them to Penelope. “You know their coordinates. You drive.”

She caught the keys and nodded at you, unable to argue with your logic. You both rushed out to the van and sped over to the location.

You saw the ambulance as you arrived there. You barely waited for Penelope to put the car in park before you were running out the door to where the ambulance had parked.

You saw Spencer sitting at the edge of the back of the ambulance with a first aid blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He was beaten up, but he was still conscious and alert. You were relieved his injuries weren’t worse.

“Spencer!” you shouted as you ran towards him. He looked your way, his eyes widening as he saw you.

You threw your arms around his shoulders when you reached him. His shock quickly turned to something softer as he relaxed into your arms, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You nestled your face into his neck for a few moments, unable to stop your sobs of joy. “Oh, sweetie…” you cooed into his ear.

He moved so his forehead was touching yours. Tears were streaking down his face. “I’m sorry…” he started.

You shook your head vigorously. “No apologies. You’re okay now.” You kissed him on the forehead gently and threaded your fingers in his hair “Everything’s going to be okay.”

He nodded and tightened his grip on you, kissing you firmly. He kissed you for a long time before finally pulling away, resting his forehead on yours. “I love you,” he whispered.

You smiled warmly, whispering back to him. “I love you, too.”

You stayed like that for a few moments before everyone started pushing Spencer to get in the ambulance so he could go to the hospital. You rode with him, of course. You held his hand the whole way there.

He wasn’t in the hospital for too long. They were able to treat his wounds relatively easily. The team waited in the waiting room while you followed him into the examination room.

When you came back to the waiting room, hand in hand, everyone rushed to greet you before you all headed to the jet.

You sat in the corner of the couch to the side of the other seats, motioning for Spencer to lay his head in your lap. He followed eagerly, curling up on his side and nestling his head in your lap.

You ran your fingers through his curls as he began to fall asleep. He must’ve been exhausted. You couldn’t imagine him sleeping during any of that.

You stayed like that the whole ride home, him asleep and you petting his hair softly.

You gently woke him up when you landed. “C’mon, baby. We’re going home.”

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. You kissed his cheek before standing up, taking his hand as you went to the parking lot. He obviously wasn’t in any condition to drive, so he handed you the keys to his car and let you drive home. You insisted on stopping and getting some food on the way back. He said he didn’t feel hungry, but once he started eating, it seemed like he’d never stop. He must’ve been starving.

When you walked into your apartment, he grabbed you and hugged you tightly to his chest. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, relaxing into him.

“I missed you so much.” He was crying again, sniffling softly. “I thought about you every waking moment. I knew I had to make it through because you were waiting for me.” He leaned down to kiss your forehead, closing his eyes and savoring the moment.

“I missed you too,” you said quietly, looking into his eyes with a soft expression. “I knew you were going to make it back.” You hugged him tight again. “I didn’t see everything. The team… made sure I didn’t see anything that was going to hurt me.”

He nodded, leaning down to stroke your cheek gently with his thumb. “I’m glad you didn’t have to see me like that.” He touched his forehead to yours. “What matters now is that I’m here with you.” He kissed you slowly, pushing your hair out of your face.

You kissed for a long time, slowly making your way to your bedroom. You smiled up at him after a while. “As much as I would love to continue this…” You gestured to the bed. “You need to sleep.”

As if to prove your point, he let out a quiet yawn. You smiled as he sat down at the edge of the bed. You grabbed his pajamas from the drawer and helped him get changed and settled into bed.

He lay his head on your chest and you stroked his hair gently, just like you did the whole way home. “Go to sleep, baby,” you whispered as his eyes closed. After a moment you heard his breathing slow as he fell asleep.

“Goodnight,” you whispered, kissing the top of his head before relaxing to fall asleep yourself.

…

After that night, things got… bad.

Spencer wasn’t acting like himself anymore. He was… distant. Cold. He had never acted this way towards you before. Or anyone, for that matter.

You had never had a problem with intimacy before, but suddenly he refused to touch you. Any time you would reach for his hand, or try to put your arm around him, he’d just shrug you off of him and move away from you. It always ended in you mumbling an apology and putting some space between you.

He never explained why he didn’t want you to touch him. In fact, he didn’t talk a whole lot anymore. You often sat in silence, completely apart from each other. You always used to be able to count on him to fill these silences, but now he just stayed quiet.

When he did talk, he was a lot more cold to you than he used to be. You had never fought before, but now it felt like any time he talked it was to argue with you about something. It felt like he was always angry lately.

He didn’t even like to sleep in the same bed as you anymore. Most nights, if not every night, he slept on the couch. You started begging him, telling him that you would never cross over your side of the bed, but he shrugged you off saying he just needed to be alone.

All of this was really taking a toll on you. You tried not to show it, because you knew he was going through a hard time, so you only let your feelings out in places you could be alone. Which meant you spent a lot of time crying in the bathroom.

This went on for months. You thought that, surely, he had to tell you what was going on eventually. He had never hidden anything from you before, so you didn’t really know what to do, or how to handle this. You didn’t want to push him into talking about things he didn’t want to talk about, but something was very clearly wrong.

After a particularly bad argument one night, you couldn’t take it anymore. You had to go to someone about this. For Spencer’s sake.

The next morning, you set an extra early alarm, quietly getting dressed and tiptoeing past Spencer, who was asleep on the couch, and silently leaving your apartment.

As you got in your car and started driving, you started arguing with yourself in your head. Part of your brain was trying to say that this wasn’t going to help, and that this was just like being a little kid and tattling to a teacher. But the emotional part of your brain was saying that just telling anyone would be able to help Spencer. And that little shred of hope was all it took to convince you to do this.

You shoved open the doors to the BAU, hoping that Spencer’s stories about his boss barely leaving his office were true. When you looked around, you saw an office with a light on, making you breathe a sigh of relief.

You bound up the stairs, knocking on the office door, a little more forcefully than you had intended. Hopefully it would help get your emotions across.

“Come in,” a familiar voice ordered.

You took a deep breath before opening the door, seeing Hotch sitting at his desk with a bunch of paperwork in front of him. You wondered just how much paperwork this job required, and if he was always here hours before everyone else.

He looked surprised to see you. He would probably be surprised to see anyone at this early hour, but considering you don’t even work for him, he probably wouldn’t have even considered the possibility of you coming here. “Is there something I can help you with?” He asked.

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. You didn’t really think this far; you just figured that surely someone who works so closely with Spencer had to know something, especially since he was a profiler.

You thought about everything that had happened in the last few months, trying to find the right words to properly articulate your concerns. But all the thoughts about Spencer pushing you away and refusing your affection, mixed with remembering what your relationship was like before that fateful night of his abduction, overwhelmed your mind so much that you just couldn’t stop your emotions flowing out. Tears welled in your eyes before starting to streak down your face. Here you were, in Hotch’s office, completely unannounced and uninvited, and you were just standing there crying.

After a few moments of crying, and of Hotch looking very concerned at this scene playing out before him, you decided it didn’t matter that you couldn’t form the perfect words. You just needed to say something.

Through choked sobs, you finally managed to blurt out, “What’s wrong with Spencer?”

Hotch looked at you, his expression as unreadable as always. “What do you mean?”

You took a deep breath, too emotional to think about how you shouldn’t be saying all of this to your boyfriend’s boss. The words just started coming out in a rush. “Something’s wrong. We had never had a single argument before, and now the only time he ever talks to me is to pick a fight. He’s never present, he barely speaks, which I’m sure I don’t have to tell you is very strange behavior for Spencer. He never smiles anymore, he won’t let me touch him anymore, he won’t sleep in our bed anymore, he only sleeps on the couch…”

You covered your eyes with your hands, trying to stop the tears from coming out. Finally, after some shaky breaths, you finished by saying, “I just wanted to know if there’s anything you could tell me about this. If you know why he’s acting this way. If there’s something he’s not telling me.”

Hotch hesitated before gesturing to a chair in front of his desk. “Do you want to take a seat?”

You looked at the chair, and you noticed you were shaking. You nodded, and sat down in the chair, trying to calm down. But you couldn’t help being extremely restless, your leg bouncing rapidly while you sat.

Hotch leaned forward, moving some paperwork out of the way and placing his hands on his desk. His expression was slightly softened. “Working in this field, you go through a lot of traumatic things. Reid’s abduction was one of the worst things an agent can go through.” His voice was low and steady, which was a welcome contrast to how frantic your own words had come out. “Anyone would struggle after that.”

You sighed. “I know, but-”

He raised his hand to cut you off. “That being said, we’ve all been able to tell that Reid has been a little off.” He saw you raise your eyebrow and added, “Okay, a lot off.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “We have some… theories, but we can’t know for sure what’s happening with him unless he tells us. And since he’s already struggling, we didn’t want to make it worse, especially since he’s technically just a subordinate or coworker. But if he’s not telling you either…” He looked at you sympathetically. “I’ll try to talk to him.”

You nodded, taking a deep breath. “... Thank you. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry I came here out of the blue.” You stood up, taking a step forward as if you were going to hug him, but for once your rational thoughts took over and you stayed where you were.

He stood up after you. “You’re welcome. It couldn’t have been easy to come here and talk about this.” He reached out to shake your hand, and when you shook his hand back he put his other hand over yours and spoke softly to you. “I’m going to try to get through to him. I promise.”

His gentle hands and soft-spoken words were enough to reassure you, at least for now. You nodded, thanking him again before leaving his office. You were able to leave with a lot more composure than you came here with.

It was getting late by the time you left Hotch’s office, and there were a lot more people here now. As you came down the stairs, you looked up to see Spencer staring at you. He wasn’t angry, thankfully, but he looked… kind of dumbfounded. Which made sense. You had no reason to be here at all, let alone a reason to be talking to his boss.

As you walked towards him to get to the door to leave, he turned to you. “Hey…” he started, his voice soft.

You didn’t know what to say, his soft voice sounding nothing like what you’ve been hearing these past few months. So you just kind of waved to him awkwardly, pointing to your watch to indicate that you had to get to work, and you left the BAU.

When you got back in your car, you took a few minutes to process everything that had happened. You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to convince yourself that everything was okay. You believed Hotch when he said he’d help. It felt like Spencer was in capable hands.

…

Later that day, you had been in the bathroom when Spencer came home, and you didn’t hear the door open and close. When you came out, you saw him standing awkwardly in the front of your apartment. It made you jump a little bit. “Hi… I didn’t know you were home,” you muttered awkwardly.

He stood there looking at you, his eyes moving a little as if he was thinking of what to say. After a few moments, instead of saying anything, he walked over to you and hugged you, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist.

You just froze for a moment, not sure how to react. But he kept his tight hold on you, as if you were the only thing keeping him up right now, and you finally started to hug him back just as tightly. You both just stood like that for a few minutes, holding each other.

Finally, he spoke up. His voice was soft, barely a whisper, and he sounded so fragile. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He was starting to cry now, making soft sobbing sounds into your shoulder.

Hearing him cry broke something in you, and shortly you were also in tears. “Oh, Spence…” You squeezed him a little tighter, rubbing soothing circles on his back. “It’s okay…”

He sniffled and shook his head, pulling back a little so he could look you in the eyes. “My behavior has been abhorrent lately. I’ve been struggling, and I’ve been bottling everything up. I didn’t realize just how much this was hurting you.” He took a deep breath, trying to keep up with his thoughts. “I guess I figured, if I didn’t tell you about my problems, then they couldn’t affect you. But I was wrong. It just made it worse.”

You looked at him sadly, one of your hands moving to gently stroke his hair. “You can always come to me with anything. I’ll always try to help you. You know that.”

Some more tears started falling down his cheeks, and you started to wipe them away with your thumb. “I guess I felt like… I didn’t deserve the help.” He took a few shaky breaths as he tried to calm down. “Like I didn’t deserve you being so nice to me.”

“Spencer…” you started, trying to make your voice sound as soothing as possible. “What’s wrong? What’s so bad that you can’t tell me?”

He closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. “I… I don’t know if I can talk about it yet. But I promise I’ll tell you soon.” He looked at you determinedly. “Until then, I promise I’m going to try to be better to you.” As if to prove his point, he grabbed your face and captured your lips in a soft kiss, making your heart flutter.

After years of dating, you didn’t think you’d feel that flustered, shy feeling of butterflies in your stomach again. But, after these past few months of having no physical contact, this kiss almost felt like it was your first kiss all over again.

You couldn’t help but hold the back of his head to try to bring his face even closer to yours. You were craving his touch, and you needed his affection. On the off chance that this was a one-time thing, and that he would start to distance himself again after this, you figured you had to make it last.

He showed no signs of letting up, though, moving you both so you were laying on the couch, with him hovering over you. His lips never left yours the whole time, and his hands were moving around your face as if he was trying to remember what it felt like.

He broke the kiss to look at you, before closing his eyes. His hands trailed from your face down to your neck, moving slightly under your shirt to your shoulders. He wasn’t just touching you, he was feeling you. As if feeling your skin would jog his memory of you. His breathing was soft and even as his hands moved down to your hips, his fingers gentle and slow on your waist as he started to lift your shirt up.

Your breath hitched when you felt cold air suddenly hit your stomach. “Spence…” you spoke quietly, a soft blush on your face.

He looked at you, his voice quick and reassuring. “I don’t want to do anything like… that. It would be a little too much for me right now.” He quickly flashed you that awkward little smile he had sometimes. “I just want to see you, to feel you.” His voice went a little quieter when he added, “I missed you.”

You looked at him sadly, reaching up to touch his face. “I missed you, too.” You leaned in to kiss him again. “I missed you so much.”

The soft, slow kissing resumed, and Spencer very carefully pulled your shirt over your head, his hands gently gliding over the newly exposed skin. You let out a dreamy sigh. You hadn’t realized just how touch starved you had been over these past few months. This is exactly what you had been needing.

You just stayed on the couch like that for a while, his lips and hands on you, the gentlest of touches. After a little while longer, you started to unbutton his shirt, because you wanted to do the same to him.

He completely froze, sucking in a breath. You immediately pulled your hands away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” You trailed off, worried that you just ruined any progress that had been made tonight.

He shook his head, sitting up and pulling you up with him. “It’s okay, I just… I don’t want you to see me with my shirt off.” He looked at you with pleading eyes, as if he was begging you not to ask about it.

You hesitated, but instead of asking about it you tried to be a little more lighthearted. “I’ve seen you without a shirt plenty of times, Spencer.”

He gave you a slight smile before the worried look came back to his face. “I just…” he started, “I can’t right now. Please understand.”

You nodded, taking his hand and giving it a slight squeeze. “I understand.” You stroked his hand gently with your thumb. “I’m not going to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You can trust me.”

He squeezed your hand back, giving you another little smile. “I know you won’t. I do trust you.” He let out a little yawn and started to rub his eyes.

You looked at the clock, not realizing how late it had gotten. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” You leaned over to kiss his forehead. “You should get some sleep.”

You worried he would still insist on sleeping on the couch, but he just nodded, his hand still tightly holding yours as you both stood up and walked to your bedroom. He grabbed his pajamas and headed to the bathroom to change.

You sat on the bed and watched him for a few moments before he closed the door. You started to get dressed yourself, wondering what this problem was about. He had been a little shy around you when you two first started getting intimate, but you thought he had gotten over that. Had these past few months apart made the shyness come back?

Your thoughts were interrupted by Spencer coming back into the room. You stood up so he could get in bed. He looked so tired; you could see just how bad the dark circles under his eyes were.

He crawled under the covers, curling up and closing his eyes. You got in the other side of the bed, gently rubbing his back to soothe him. You didn’t want to push any boundaries, so you pulled away after just a moment.

He turned around, looking at you with those big eyes of his, and grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers together. He closed his eyes again, taking a deep breath, as if soothed by your touch. You smiled softly. He looked more peaceful than you had seen him in a long time. It made it easier to close your eyes and relax.

It was silent for a while, and you thought he had fallen asleep. But then, you heard him speak very softly. “I love you.”

You opened your eyes to see him looking back at you. You squeezed his hand gently. “I love you too.” You leaned in and kissed his forehead, making him smile. “Get some sleep. I can tell you need it,” you whispered.

He nodded and closed his eyes again, moving a little closer to you before wrapping his arms around you and nestling his head in your neck. You hesitated for a moment in shock before cradling him in your arms. You kissed the top of his head. “Goodnight, baby,” you whispered to him. Soon, you could hear his breathing soften, and you just listened to the quiet sounds of him sleeping for a few more moments before falling asleep yourself.

…

Things didn’t magically get better after that, but they did improve.

Spencer went back to sleeping in your bed, though he seemed to have a hard time sleeping nowadays. He was always tossing and turning, and you usually woke up in the middle of the night to either try to soothe him to sleep or to keep him company when he couldn’t sleep.

There was a lot more talking, and a lot less fighting. You could have more comfortable conversations, and he would politely tell you when he didn’t feel like talking. It was a lot better than him yelling at you to leave him alone.

There was still some arguing, but usually only when you were trying to get him to eat. He was always saying he wasn’t hungry, and you had to try to push to get him to eat, saying he needed some kind of nutrition. Sometimes he would snap at you, saying he would eat if he was hungry and that he didn’t push you when you didn’t want to eat. He’d always apologize, though, and try his best to explain that he was either feeling nauseous or he just didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. It seemed to get a little better after a few days.

He didn’t mind a little more physical contact. He wasn’t always up for it, but he didn’t seem to mind it as much. It was always trial and error, almost like trying to pet a skittish cat. You’d start by putting a gentle hand on his, and he’d tense up for a second, and he’d either pull away and explain he didn’t want to be touched, or he’d take your hand and hold it gently. A big improvement. It was just little touches: holding hands, an arm around his shoulder, a hug… it never went past that.

He didn’t talk about what it was that was bothering him at first, but you trusted that he would tell you when he was ready. After about a week, he was finally ready to talk about it.

…

You both were sitting on the couch, in one of your quiet moments. You were reading a book, like you usually did when Spencer felt like being quiet. The silences were starting to get more comfortable, making it easier to just do quiet activities next to each other.

After a few minutes, Spencer cleared his throat, making you look over at him. You bookmarked the page you were on and turned to him. “What is it?”

He hesitated, as if he wasn’t sure how to start this conversation. He closed his eyes for a moment to put his thoughts together, before opening them again to look at you. He spoke very softly.

“When I was…” he started, swallowing and taking a deep breath to compose himself before continuing, “... When I was abducted for those few days back in February, a lot happened. The man who took me had dissociative identity disorder, and dealing with all his personalities was difficult. But there was one of his personalities that was… nicer than the others. More helpful than harmful.” He closed his eyes again, and you knew this was really hard for him to talk about. You placed a gentle hand over his, and he let out a breath, grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze. He continued on, his voice still soft and sad.

“Unfortunately, one of the ways that he helped me was to… give me something to help numb the pain the others were causing.” He closed his eyes again, and he slowly rolled up his sleeves for you to see his arms.

You stared in shock. His arms were covered in needle marks. You covered your mouth. “Oh, Spencer…” You looked back up at his face, but his eyes were squeezed shut, as if he didn’t want to face this. You squeezed his hand to let him know you were here to support him.

“He would come to me saying Dilaudid helped with the pain, and after a few times, it started to feel… good.” He took another deep breath, his eyes still closed. “After he died, I took the bottles he still had. And when things started getting hard to handle… all the flashbacks and memories of what happened to me, I just needed to numb myself. And it worked, for a while. But eventually, I just… couldn’t stop.”

“Spencer…” you started, your voice gentle. “You could’ve come to me, I could’ve tried to help you-”

“I didn’t want that,” he cut you off. “I tried to convince myself that what I was doing wasn’t wrong. That it was just medicine that was helping me. But, obviously, I knew that wasn’t the truth. And I knew that if I told anyone about it, they would say I needed help. But I didn’t want help. I just wanted to live in this unrealistic world where everything I was doing was fine.” He finally opened his eyes to look at you. “That’s why I was lashing out. I didn’t want anyone to help me, and I also felt like I didn’t deserve anyone being nice to me.”

He looked at you very seriously. “I thought, if I didn’t tell you any of this, it couldn’t hurt you. I know how sensitive you are to other people’s emotions and problems, so I figured if I didn’t tell you, you couldn’t worry about me. Obviously, I was wrong, and that was a naive way of thinking.” He reached out and gently touched your face. “When I saw you at the BAU, I knew it was because you were worried about me, and I saw that you looked like you had been crying. And it just snapped me out of this false reality I had created for myself. And that’s when I came home and apologized, because I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t keep hurting you.”

You listened to him silently while he talked, letting him get out everything he needed to say before responding. “Why didn’t you tell me that day? Or the few days after that? Why did you wait until now?”

He nodded as if he was waiting for this question. “I read that withdrawal symptoms peak within 12-48 hours, and that it usually takes 5-7 days for the symptoms to resolve. So I wanted to wait out those 7 days just to make sure.”

You gave him a sad look. “But if I knew you were having withdrawal symptoms, I could have helped you. I really wish you would have told me.”

He sighed. “I wanted to do it on my own. To prove to myself that I could do it. That I wasn’t just going to quit halfway through and relapse.”

You nodded sympathetically. “Well, I’m really glad you told me now. We can get through this together.” You gave his hand a little pat. “You know this isn’t the end of it, right? It’s not just over when withdrawal symptoms stop. You still need to work out these issues that made you start this in the first place.”

He nodded. “I know. I want to try to get help now. I… I think I’m ready. I want to look into going to therapy, and maybe some support groups if I need them.” He squeezed your hand again. “I know I can make it through this, because I know you’ll be by my side.”

You smiled softly at him. “I’ll always be by your side.” Your hand trailed up his arms, looking back at the needle marks. “Do they… hurt?” you asked softly.

He shrugged. “Only when they first appear. They don’t hurt right now.”

You nodded, and you gently touched the marks on his arm. You looked at him, and you slowly brought his arm up so you could give every little mark a gentle kiss, to let him know that everything was going to get better soon.

He looked at you with big, loving eyes, and he started tearing up a bit. He pulled you in for a tight hug, sniffling as he buried his face in your neck. “I love you so much,” he said with a shaky voice.

You held him tight, rubbing his back to comfort him. “I love you too, Spence. Everything is going to be okay.” Your voice was calm and soothing. “I’m here now.”

…

Things started to get much better after that. Spencer was way more comfortable telling you when things were feeling more difficult than usual. Typically, it would be when he came home from a particularly emotional case. You were always there to hold him and to soothe him. There was no more aversion to your touch or need for extended silences. He felt comfortable in your arms, and he knew he could talk to you when something was bothering him.

He started seeing a therapist, and you always went there with him. Usually, you just sat outside the office for his sessions so he could have the one-on-one help he needed. Sometimes, if he was having a particularly rough week, he would bring you in with him for extra support. And you were always there when he needed you.

It took a bit of time, but you learned how to help with whatever he needed you for. If he needed a distraction, you could always come up with some activity to get his mind off of things. You played a lot of board games, and started learning to bake so you could just pull out a new recipe to try and he could focus on getting everything just right. When he just needed someone to listen to him, or a shoulder to cry on, you didn’t mind being that person for him. And sometimes he just wanted to be held, saying that the physical touch grounded him. You were always happy to hold him.

Over time, things got easier and easier to deal with. Eventually, things seemed to be fully back to normal. You both knew that this was always going to be a struggle that could come back, but you knew how to handle it now, and you were certain that you could get through any struggle that ever tried to get in your way.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x male!reader #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #fanfiction #mod angel

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dsybouquet · 1 year ago

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okay we know the rockstar! ellie troupe but what about rockstar! reader ?

like imagine..

you’re backstage, waiting for your band to go out on stage. touring was tough but there was nothing you loved more than performing. the adrenaline, the screaming fans and the flashing light - it was pure euphoria.

you quickly had your makeup done before lighting up a cigarette. „thats almost the last show.“, you told the rest of your team, before giving each of them a high-five. „let‘s rock this.“

the opening band finished, and your band went on stage. fans screaming, applause from everywhere, whistling - euphoria in your veins. smilingly, you waved your hands.

„what‘s up guys! are we in a good mood ?“

again screaming and whistling and you loved it. you eyes the venue and you were beyond impressed by the amount of people. after all you‘re not the most well known band just yet.

but giving the fact that you sort of dress and sound like taylor momsen - your band was pretty hot and and eyecatcher with it‘s members, yet alone with the unique sound of your singing and the heavy guitars and drums.

your eyes landed on a specific girl. she was.. gorgeous, yet didn‘t look like a fan. while she was with the security guards you guessed she was a staff member, maybe even the venue owner. she stared back, a slight smirk on her lips, before she returned to the security guards and then disappeared.

afterall, you didn’t care much about it. you played your show, rocked the shit out of the venue and played two more songs off the set list by demand of the crowd.

„okay guys, this really is the last song. cover of no more tears by ozzy osbourne, but with our touch.“

and as you played your cover, the girl appeared again. smiling widely, clearly enjoying your version of one of her favourite songs - but you didn’t know that. you smiled back, performing the shit out of your body, before ending with a heavy breath.

„thank you, Jackson! It was a pleasure! enjoy the rest of your night !“

off the stage you went, clapping hands for your team and your band, praising them, thanking them for their hard work too.

„amazing show.“, a unfamiliar voice said, causing you to turn around. it was the girl from before. „i‘m ellie, pleasure to meet you and thank you for coming to my venue.“, she said with the most charming smile on her lips, holding out het hand for you to shake.

„hi! ______, nice to meet you.“

„oh! i know who you are.“, she laughed. „sorry for not introducing myself earlier, i had things to take care off. however, i am more than impressed by what you and your fairly young band did !“

you smiled and turned around to the team. „it‘s mostly their work, they are amazing.“

ellie nodded, smiling still.

„also a pretty girl like you with a voice like this? you‘ll go big.“

„god! thanks a lot. i might just blush from the compliments.“, you laughed as you walked back to the backstage room, lighting a cigarette on the way.

you kept the conversation going while some assistances from the venue helped gathering your instruments, microphones anf cables to get them back to your bus.

„going back to the hotel?“, ellie asked outside the venue, leaning against a wall while watching you help her assistances. ellie was so intrigued by you. the way you walked, talked, performed - all of it was beyond perfect and beautiful. you might even say she was starstruck by you and your smile.

„i guess so. still two shows left in the next days and we still have to get there.“ you said, with that smile that made her go insane. while smiling, a cigarette was between your lips. exhaling the smoke in the dark night air, you looked at ellie.

„what a pity. thought i could ask you out for a drink or two.“, ellie said, again with the most charming smile and a voice so gentle.

you looked at your band members and then at her. „well, i guess there is nothing against a drink.“, you smiled, telling your team to go without you and that you‘ll join them later on. they know you won‘t, but agreed. after all, ellie was very attractive and seemed kind.

„shall we?“, she asked, a cigarette between her lips as she looked behind her while waiting for you to catch up.

„yeah.“

⋆·˚ ༘ *

i rewatched green room and was in the mood for a bandish thing okay (at least here is no massacre LOL)

kinda wish i had a better idea for this because it‘s a nice idea yet IDK well hope u enjoyed it bye xx ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

(convinced ellie is an black sabbath and ozzy osbourne fan, and you can’t change my mind)

#ellie x rockstar!reader #tlou2 ellie #ellie williams tlou #tlou ellie #ellie williams #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie tlou2 #ellie williams x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams fluff #ellie fluff #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams x female reader

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cyberrat · 8 days ago

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kind of a throwback to some of your old allmight/inko stuff and a lot more whumpy but im so in love with dark all might and inko. all might taking advantage of her soft people pleasing nature, increasingly getting worse and worse. like it starts out fine with all might pursuing her, framing as innocent flirting to make her feel more confident or fluster her. i imagine her having some sort of celebrity crush on all might, so its crazy that he is now in her home, training her son as his pupil, and saying how beautiful she is and how shes an amazing mother for raising izuku. the praise getting gradually more sexual. she starts realizing all might is just some overgrown frat fuckboy and not the kind heroic man she thought he was. him getting touchy with her with izuku nearby, groping her ass, saying if she could make a kid like izuku with some regular ass loser, imagine the kids she could make with him. them eventually hooking up, at all might’s insistence, and him giving her the most addicting, disgusting, rough dicking of her life. he basically bullies this poor woman into taking his oversized cock into her (fairly unaccomadating) pussy. he would be so mean to her saying how shes lucky hes even touching a nobody like her and that her used up pussy (from having izuku) is worthless to any other dick bc hes the only one who can fill it out this nice and make it feel “tight again”.

bonus point for him refusing to use a condom or using one and taking is off mid fuck

I haven‘t really thought about dark!AllMight before because in my head it‘s basically just blond Endeavor but the more I think about it the more unhinged and fucked up it gets???

Like people don‘t expect AllMight to be fucked up. They do for Endeavor but that makes it more hilarious because Endeavor won‘t touch his wife with a ten foot pole as soon as she‘s pregnant. But AllMight will prowl the streets at night for hours to get his dick wet with as many holes as he can have and leave a ton of people just heart broken and shook.

Like Endeavor is a jock kind of asshole; you see him and you know he‘s a bastard but ultimately harmless.

But AllMight is like this high functioning sociopath kind of freak. He knows how to act ‚normal‘ and how to be charming and how to get in people‘s heads (and panties).

So it hits Inko so unexpected. Way later than it feasibly should have because she‘s just so sweet. So motherly. Just a gem, right?

Like it legit takes AllMight groping her in the kitchen with Izuku right there in his room for it to click and then it‘s already too late because she hasn‘t been touched in forever and AllMight is soooo good at it.

Uuugghhh just the mental image of him rucking up her skirt and shifting behind her so if Izuku were to wander in he doesn‘t immediately see his idol and mentor fingering his mother‘s plump, underused cunt.

Oh fuuuckkk and I don‘t know what‘s hotter??? Inko begging AllMight to put on a condom and him flat out denying and then deep dicking her until she forgets about it?

Or him making a big show out of how he‘s just doing it for her benefit and then secretly taking it off in the middle while she has her folded in half and she can barely breathe because his cock is so gigantuan inside her??

#this sounds a lot more put together than I was when I got the ask #cause I actually wrote the answer in google docs cause I was so afraid it would be eaten up #allmight/inko

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cohendyke · 8 months ago

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Hiiiii :)

I just saw you on my feed talking about the show „Under the bridge“ which I started and am totally obsessed with because I love lily Gladstone and ✨butch women✨ but on a more serious note I wanted to ask if you are maybe personally a fan of Lily ? Because just like I said I’m a fan of her and I have been following her for 3 years now and with the on going situation about the met gala, her playing a cop in this show.. and not really speaking up about Palestine the way I expected, makes me kinda sad and uncomfortable. I know celebrity worship is not positive in any way but I always liked her acting and also the way she seems to be when not on camera. I know I can’t say much about her because I don’t know her personally but I said to myself kind of ironically before the met began „I‘m gonna stop supporting everyone who will be there“ but I kinda meant it and seeing lily there made me sad knowing that she would be willing to pay 75k for this sh!t is not it for me. Idk maybe I‘m overreacting I‘m just not really happy about what‘s happening lately when I thought some celebs actually stand on the right side but it turns out most don‘t care one bit about others and us the working class ofc.

Could you maybe tell me your thoughts on this ?

To start off I don't really keep up with the met gala/celebrities in general and I haven't heard of any specific controversies with the met gala this year? All I really know about it is that it's a fundraiser for the costume section of the met museum and she was there this year. so even if she did pay for the ticket the money goes directly to that non-profit cause. Take this with a grain of salt though because I really don't put any effort into keeping up with events like these. maybe i should but i'm just not particularly interested :) anyway this is quite long so i will put the rest under a cut.

as for her playing a cop- i think it's a good thing- her character occupies such a nuanced space; she's queer, a first nations woman adopted into a white cop family. yes she's a cop as well, but she's also a victim to that institution in a lot of the same ways reena was, and i think it makes for a great plot where she's forced to reckon with the institution she's a part of even though she is a marginalized woman in many ways. (i dont want to cite any specific things from the show because i don't really want to spoil anyone since the newest episode came out only yesterday, but there are several parallels between her and reena.)

As for her activism, with celebrities in general i don't necessarily look to them for moral guidelines. that isn't to say that i support any celebrities in any way with heinous views, but i'm also not keeping tabs on everything a celebrity who's work i enjoy has said about x y z issue. while i, too would imagine that she is sympathetic towards palestinians, i think it's not really fair to expect lily to take on every single issue concerning indigenous people around the world, seeing as indigenous people in north america alone are still in a shitty position (in terms of mmiw, threats to their land, mental health crises, natural disasters, and these are issues off the top of my head.) i think i also hold this opinion because i am a pretty privileged white woman and i think it would be beyond hypocritical to point at lily and go "you're not being a good activist for palestinians even though you're indigenous yourself!!" and this goes beyond whether i think of myself as a good activist or not. i also think that since she's really just 'broken through,' she doesnt want/maybe has been told not to rock the boat in that way in order to protect her future career, though i honestly dont know. it's not an excuse for not speaking out, but it's just something that came across my mind. again, take this all with a grain of salt.

#asks #anon #under the bridge #< i guess?

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antispiralz · 2 days ago

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Tatort Zürich - Fährmann (liveblogging)

I fully didn't realise Lucas was the main baddie? (going by the trailer they showed just before it) Boat! Lucas!!! Hgbshahsh gloves He is so bond!villain coded And I love it God!!!! He looks so good Also hi creppy ferry man Christmas!!! D‘awww 'wiehnachtsfee' Ott is a lil grinch Oh wow filming at the opera place xmas market? It is pretty there but also so tight lol DuffiufudfjuruejekddLUCASDSS Helpppp ALSO HE WAS IN ZURICH???? Well like a year or two ago but Eexcuse me???? Lucaaaaaaadsssss 'ICH HAB KEINE ZEIT FÜR KORREKTES SOZIALVERHALTEN, NICHT MEHR ' dkskslfkfkfkksks holy fuck lucas And isabelle baby (Okay charcater name is marek. Maybe i‘ll use it instead of lucas. Probably not) Fjfkgjaösöfj God lucas I AM SCREAAAAAMINGGGGGGG Eurugjfudufuiwiqisoeoholy shitt????????? Fkfkdla what about…. The other guy??? (edit: milan. I constatly forget everyone's name except noah) Uedkdkkskqkslsld DAMN?! go get it girl Djfkdlalsls holy shit lucas Oh wait the chef has a wife?? 😂 forgot abt that Christ isabelle God, the chillsss ‚En guete negroooni‘ xD ;-; ‚reste calme‘ AAAHHHHHHHHHHHDLDLSKSKSKS Staatsahwältin. In the shiny ass dress Love it‚ 'Na eis lied vo dem chinderchor und ich leg mich zu ihne (leiche)‘ Lmao Hiii uniforms Milan baby Good boy </3 The prevelance of smoking is so hilarious to me Luuuuuuuuuucas ah he is actually suffering? noah!!!!! Ott and grandjean are fiiiiiighting Noaah :c still no one cares about his infos :( I'd listen to you yap His little apple? mug?? Adorable ‚Alpha und omega‘ 👀 God lucas God he‘s a good villain A mess of a cop, great villain xD Love how she just fucks off skg? It that general knowledge what business they do? Orrr is it a fake business? xD bank? am I dumb xD Christ lucas ‚Fahre nach hause‘ well she didn‘t lie I guess… quick trip through switzerland Wooffff Jesus fucking christ lucas. Imm dying He and his brain tumor against the world Would be fun to know if he actually understands swiss german Awww frenchie police lady likes isabelle as role model Isabelle took the coin?? God you really don‘t like team work huh xD WOW. Another tatort zurich with suicide (mention) We truly cannot get away from it Bahhaha ‚für 20 jahr hettetds sich au mal öppis neus chöne überlege‘ (als treuheitsgschenk) ‚Da het aber öpper gschmack‘ (wegem mantel) Bahahhaha ‚fashionista‘. I love her (I also cannot remember the staatsahwältins name for the life of me) Slsllslsksjsjshjs God the shot with ott and lucas passing behind her!!! Christ, ott is just such a horrible friend That guy needs a better buddy than her Grandjean gets to wreck shit again What the fuck is that outfit ott. Grey jeans shirt with a pinstripe blazer?! What the FUCK is staatsajwältin wearing as her bottoms? So wide and patterned and not fitting the tie Dkdlflskaöskfksksk I like that banker choosing to speak high german Cause the ‚nie‘ was very swiss Lucas is so good Sheesh Djdkksksk BAHAHHAHHAAHHHAAA NOAH WITH THE SHEESH LIKE FIFE SECONDS LATER I love you Lmao schribfehler für ‚singel‘. Good work guys, perfect paperwork ‚globalisierti wirtschaft, globalisierti serietäter‘ great line lol Milan with the holiday appropriate voice message xD Charlie… you deserve so much better…. Yeah, thank you. Talking to that with Marek???? What‘s wrong with you isabelle. Also the ‚who knows‘ love it Bahahaha ‚ich hab mich manipulieren lassen‘. Baby girl. I don‘t know how to tell you this…….. Boy you are not well ‚Du darfst diesen fall nicht aufgeben‘ aka love me love me love me Hump her leg already my guy Aww lights our for lucy (the christmas lights that have a name for reasons) sakldjadsdlk Aaaaah burkhalter vom landesmuseum BAHAHA I KNEWWWW IT WAS THAT GUY!!!!!!! The ‚i finger banged ott on the dance floor‘ guy 😂 Dlflfkfjfjdlalsls Bahaha the hair tuck!!!! Help I‘m dying Noah like 'jfc guys keep it in your pants'. you don't even know half the story my guy

My baby boy ;-; Bahahahahza isabelle going full cork board red string. But instead a whole wall. Overachiever I love how marek just loiters around that bank?? Awww ott and her french <3 same buddy Aber c‘est urgent wär noch gegangen xD Bahahha noah and his headphones and singing along They close in 10 minutes and let her have the huge ass folder? You‘re getting nowhere with tht in that time Aus zürisch xD Serge picard, sup buddy ‚Zu hundert pro gframt worde‘ love it Lucasssss Admiring the work SHE‘S DOING THIS IN THE RESTAURANT?!? Milan, you also deserve better friends Uff don‘t take a drink from him ;-; Isabelle ;-; Goood lucas Hi hello I feel like I can‘t breathe, kudos Ott ;-; Lmao the powerwalk towards the light The hospital ;-; djfkgjfkfjfkfkfjfjfk And face touching My bbys Does he still have her gun? TESSA!!!!!!! Babies D‘awww und ott mitm ‚hesch du mich grad duzt’ xD Bahahahhaah I love how shocked they both were at differents parts of the ‚we fucked‘ conversation What the fuck tessa What is that jacket Aww noah with xmas sweater The fashion choices in zurich are so strange. What is that necklace over tie from staatsahwältin

Love her high german Skfkfkdka i love her Godecki is pronounced godetzki? Skylfkkfkf SEK <3333 ‚Ich stürm jetzt denn grad en grossbank, geil oder‘ tessa bby ….you‘re gonna die together? Yeah wait the guy forgot that he never drinks huh Flglfldla god lucas Hot af unfortunately He did drink it Christ Aww singing christmas tree shown Oh she could have been fired? Oh yeah wait she stole evidence lol Power move against power move Ach charlie. You need better friends ;-; OoooOOOH. He gave his coin to her… Bahahahahahahaha isabelle. Fucking rude Here‘s useless money. (Just assuming he‘s gonna pawn it??) I liked that episode. Because lucas is fucking chef's kiss. Not like that weirdo from the twin murder one xD

#I watch shows

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shisnhou · 2 years ago

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does anyone else have thoughts about gojo satoru who wants to buy you sexy lingerie for your birthday present, but doesn’t know what your bra or panty size is.

the man is walking into the lingerie store with his head held up high and his cheeks tainted red. all the women, and their significant others look at him with a confused yet intrigued look. why‘s this extremely handsome man walking into the lingerie store alone?

with long confident strides, this man walks to the set aisle. his blue eyes widen behind the designer sunglasses, and it isn’t the price tags that fluster him—he could care less about the insane price tags—what flusters him is the material and style of the lingerie.

he swallows, hard. he suppresses the shaking of his hand and reaches out for the dark blue lingerie before his also very blue eyes.

"excuse me sir?" a woman appears out of no where, breaking goio‘s impure imagination of you in said lingerie. "is there anything i can help you with?" she asks, cocking a brow.

gojo puts the lingerie down and stammers, licking his lips for a moment before coming to his senses. "i— yeah." he thinks hard and keeps his mind straight. "can i have this for my girl?"

"sure," she nods, taking the lingerie from his hands. "this is our limited edition, by the way. we only have two of these ever made by our famous designer.." gojo could honestly care less about what she is saying. all he‘s thinking of right now is taking the sinful piece and placing it on you as soon as possible.

"yeah." he nods, already looking around for another sexy set.

"the person you‘re with must be really lucky." she chuckles, still doing whatever the fuck she‘s supposed to do and looks at him. "this is one of a kind." she further adds. he nods again. "so i‘ll have to ask.."

"what‘s their size?"

gojo stops.

"what?"

"it‘s limited edition, so there‘s no size other than this. we have to make sure it‘s their size." she looks at him.

gojo halts. his whole body shuts down as he looks at it. he hadn‘t thought that part through. he thought that if he‘d see what looks good, he‘d immediately know it was made for you. but for god sake, now that he’s here, he doesn’t have a single clue.

"i— um—" he stammers, trying to explain it. "it‘s—"

"do you not know it?" she frowns. "i mean it‘s okay. you‘d just have to ask her then come—"

"no! i know it!" he cuts her off quick, pressing his fingers to his temple. "it‘s— it‘s.."

without even realizing it, gojo brings up both his hands to the air and makes an odd shape. the woman watches and eyes him oddly as he continues to further describe the shape.

"what‘re you doing…?"

"i‘m trying to show you." without a single ounce of shame, this man then puts his hands on the bra and feels it.

he‘s trying to figure out your tit size with his hands.

"yeah, that‘s it." he nods, sure of himself. then he grabs the thong. he places it flat on his palm and sees the size before nodding once again and smiling to the woman. "mhm, that‘s the right size."

the woman stares at him, bewildered. her jaw hangs agape, throat dry as she watches gojo move around and look at her. "yeah, that‘s it. it‘s her perfect size."

without even awaiting her response, he proudly takes the set from her and walks away, not even bothering to check the number tag for the size as he goes around and does the same for every piece of lingerie he encounters.

the people look at him, meanwhile he couldn‘t give a damn. he simply walks around, and purchases what he found with pride, leaving the store and the people in there more confused than they ever were in their lives.

and when the man gives it to you during your birthday, somehow, some fucking way, it‘s actually the right fucking size. and when he knows about it, he‘ll smugly tell you the story about how he found out your size and you‘ll just be left embarrassed the next time you‘re walking into that store with him.

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cassieb1617 · 2 years ago

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Call of Duty💌

Fluff, peaks of angst

Pairing: Steve Rogers x gamer!reader

Summary: You love battlefield, but you love Steve more.

Warnings: Mentions of the war; Steve getting anxious and very nervous; reader feeling really bad; Steve not knowing culture and history aka Minecraft; mentions of Steve‘s trauma; let me know if there‘s more

A/N: I‘m thinking of maybe turning this into a series? Depends on how you like it! This is based off an ask I send someone on Tumblr and I wanted to write a one-shot ever since I thought of it.

In the 40’s, Steve always wanted to go to war and he did go to war. Steve was forever, in a sick way, grateful for it because it gave him many opportunities. One of them was clear to everyone, it was the serum. Though many bad things happened to the way where he is now, it all turned out good.

Another thing Steve was extremely grateful for was you. On his way to today, he lost a lot of people and a lot of time but if he were honest with himself, he would do it all over again if he met you.

The first time Steve actually saw you was because of Peter Parker. Now, Steve got used to technology and to phones but when he saw Peter with his phone in landscape, a term he now knows because of you, and a pretty face on it, he got curious.

It took Peter 20 minutes until Steve got a small hang of the world that is Twitch and streaming.

The girl was playing a game and her face cam sat in the right corner of Peter‘s phone. He didn‘t know what she was playing but she was laughing a lot and there were other voices as well. The game was mostly blocks and animals that were very pixelated.

Half a year later, he saw you again but this time in real life. You were at the park he always went jogging with a dog. You and your dog were playing frisbee, well, you were throwing it and your dog very enthusiastically brought it back to you. Though it seemed that your dog found another interest and its name was Steve Rogers, aka the former Captain America.

When Oscar, your dog, ran straight into Steve which caused the super soldier to stop and stumble a bit, you apologised furiously for your dog and scolded him with ‘you get half an hour less cuddles today, you little duck‘. That day, you had insisted on buying Steve coffee as an apology for your dog and because his run was already interrupted anyway, he went with you.

And boy, was he glad you did because for him, your sweet and slightly funny aura was something entirely refreshing. The coffee turned into exchanging numbers, exchanging numbers turned into your first real date, this time without your dog who you sadly had to leave at home for the day. That first date turned into two and months later, Steve lived with you.

He was already used to you streaming and gaming, and quiet frankly, he loved doing it with you. When he admitted to you at your third day that he already saw you once before on Peter‘s phone thing playing a weird game with blocks, you gaped at him like a fish. But not because he already kind of knew you, no, because he didn‘t know Minecraft. You had dragged him then and there to your home and showed him the highlight of the game that is Minecraft. Now, months after that day, you two had a virtual farm with many sheep, pigs and even a cat and two dogs near a village.

But something that he would never get used to is the sound of shooting. In all his years of being Captain America and growing up with war, he took quiet the trauma with him. So, hearing shooting the first time in his very own home, he all but ran straight to the room you spent many hours a day in to check in on you.

Though, the only thing he found was you talking to a friend, a game in the background and exploding sounds coming from your computer. You shrieked a small ‘Steve‘ and jumped from your chair when he bursted into your room but you came down from the shock and went up to him. All good things came to an end for you when you saw Steve‘s panicked face.

„Steve, what‘s going on?“ your sweet voice snapped him out of his stupor but he still flinched when a bomb exploded in your game. He never believed that the sounds were so realistic and of course, you had to notice his reaction to the sound. Practically flying with the speed you put on and turned off the game, saying a quick goodbye to your friend, Anna, and put all your attention on Steve and his wellbeing.

„Talk to me, Stevie.“ you pleaded with him, though you already had an idea of what‘s going on. „It-it sounded so, so realistic. I-“ he had to take a break from speaking, too overwhelmed with emotions.

„It‘s okay, Steve. Take your time.“ he relaxed a bit at your words and breathed deep in and out. He repeated that actions a few times. In and out. „I thought- I thought that you were hurt or that- that HYDRA or- I don‘t know, something came to you and you were hurt or worse, -“ he couldn‘t end his sentence, too afraid that if he speaks it out loud, it would come true.

„Psshh, Steve, I‘m okay, I‘m here and I‘m alive. It‘s okay.“ you took one of his hands to your chest, pressed it firmly on your heart‘s side, letting him feel that you were breathing and living.

It took a while for him to calm down before chuckling out an embarrassed apology for disturbing you.

„Steve, darling, you have nothing to apologise for. I‘m sorry, I should’ve thought before playing so loud. Of course it would trigger you, you did nothing but fight your whole life.“ the blonde man watched as you scolded yourself before pulling you in for a tight hug.

„It‘s not your fault, no one could’ve known, love.“ he reassured you snd you nodded softly. „I promise, I won‘t play it again, well, at least not when you‘re here. I love Call of Duty, not as much as I love you, but still. A good competition.“ Steve smiled at your words and you stayed on the ground of your gaming room, arms around the other and glad to be there.

#marvel #mcu #chris evans #fluff #steve rogers x reader #fanfiction #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers #chris evans x reader #steve rogers x gamer!reader #gamer!reader #steve rogers x female reader

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zoros-bandana · 2 years ago

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i’m sorry for sending an emergency request after you just did one but i have been really insecure about my weight and i wish i could do something about it but i never can and i don’t know why and it’s killing me. it’s making me hate myself more than ever and i just wish i could look like the other girls. could you write zoro comfort for that? (she/her pronouns and romantic)

if it’s too much trouble feel free to ignore. i hope you have a good day/night<3

Omg no angle please don’t be sorry! Also I love you and you are so beautiful and deserving of everything good in the world and your weight does not define who you are or what you are worth. I’m sending you a massive hug my dear 💚

Zoro Weight Comfort - Emergency Request

(SFW)

(Romantic intentions with a tad bit of possible leading to NSFW)

TRIGGER WARNINGS for issues with weight/self appearance/food issues/self worth

A thick haze circled the air up in the crows nest. The summer heat radiated through the windows as you sat on the bench, sprawled out to try and cool yourself down. Your partner, Zoro, was in the midst of his workout as per his usual routine. He had shed off most of his clothing to try and beat the heat; opposed to yourself.

You stayed covered up, not wishing to show any amount of skin. Even if it was just in the presence of Zoro.

You weren’t ignorant. You knew the state of how your partner looked; carved directly from the gods themselves. You also knew the type of women that were drawn to him. Tall, petite, perfectly curved in every place you wished you. They were everything you wanted to be.

It was hopeless to even try and compete with them. No matter what you did it wasn’t enough. You had attempted many efforts to try and grow to like yourself; working out, eating better, training with Zoro. Nothing seemed to fix your problem.

You could often lose yourself in a train of thought, wondering off as you counted the list of problems you found about yourself; shameful in how you looked.

“Hey? Are you listening?”

You slowly flickered your eyes over to Zoro, watching as he huffed; sweat dripping from his body. His brows furrowed at you, confused at your ignorance to his question. Dazed, your eyes wondered over his chiseled chest, zoning back out again; your fears resurfacing.

“Baby?”

His hand gently tapped at your cheek, alerting you of his whereabouts. As you focused back on him a stray whimper parted your lips. His strong arms wrapped around you as he sat beside you, curling you into his sweaty body.

“What‘s wrong?”

“Do you think I deserve to be with you?”

“What?”

“It’s just I don’t feel like I do… in this body… I don’t like how I look and I just feel so disgusted in myself. I don’t look like Nami or Robin or anyone else who is beautiful and I just think -“

“Take that back!”

“What?”

“Just because you don’t look like them doesn’t mean you are any less worthy to feel loved, (y/n). I love you and to hell with anyone who thinks you don’t deserve it! Every single part of your body is something wonderful and should be cherished. You are so beautiful”

“I’m not!”

In one swift move he flipped you onto your back, hovering above you. There was a playful gleam in his eye as he leaned down close to you, slowly teasing above you.

“I love your beautiful face” he leaned down, peppering kisses across your cheeks. His smirk stayed against your skin as you giggled from his light touch.

“I love your precious arms” he trailed down, covering every inch of your arms in swift pecks.

“I especially love your sexy chest” he burrowed his head between your chest, resting there for a moment.

“I love your gorgeous stomach” he made his way down, lifting up your shirt; covering every fold and curve in soft kisses. He groaned as he covered your skin, relishing in how soft you tasted against his mouth.

His hands slid down the side of your body, his lips dragging over your skin as he reached your legs. “And I love your angelic thighs”

His breath fanned against your skin, tickling you as he moved around; covering every inch of your skin in his lips. Once satisfied with his claim he rose back up to dangle over your face, his expression more neutral than before; his once playful demeanour vanished.

“I love you; every single part of you. To me you are the most beautiful girl in the world and I wish you saw that. You are so incredible in every single thing you do and never cease to amaze me. There is not a single moment where I question if I deserve you; because I know it’s you that truely doesn’t deserve me. I love every single fold and roll and curve on your perfect body and I wished you understood how heavenly you are. You don’t need to look like Nami or Robin to be beautiful or have a purpose in this world, (y/n). You are beautiful and you have purpose. I wished you saw yourself from my point of view”

“Do you mean it?”

“Of course I do; every last word” he leaned back down again, this time pressing a tender kiss to your lips. “And I will continue to remind you until you understand it, baby. You are perfect just the way you are”

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imaslutforremusandsirius · 4 years ago

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GeOrGeWeAsLeYpUnIsHmEnT. Don't ask, I'm going through a phase lmao-

Punishment

Forgive me if his personality isn’t portrayed correctly, I shamefully admit that I don’t know a lot about our tall ginger

Ngl I really love this one it just hits different

Enjoy :) <3

Warning: 18+, SMUTTY GIF BE CAREFUL!!!!

---

George has always been proud of the fact that he can make you laugh so hard your stomach hurts and you plead him to shut up. It was just something about the way your eyes lit up and you’d flush an adorable shade of red and god you just look so giggly and fuckable. You don’t even notice how everyone swoons and puts even more effort in making you laugh. It was so intimate to him, that whenever someone else besides his brothers made you laugh, he would sulk.

“The joke wasn’t even funny, she probably laughed because she didn’t want to be rude!”, he’d complain to Fred. His brother would just clap him on the back sympathetically and tell him that the joke had been pretty decent. And George would slap him. And Fred’s middle name is petty, so he told you about it.

“He said what?”

Fred nodded, a smirk on his face. “He gets so bloody jealous, it’s kinda sweet.”

You blinked, still surprised. “I never noticed. Is that why he always gets so silent? Because he’s jealous that I laughed?”

“No, not because you laughed. It’s the way everyone stares at you, like they want a piece of your a-”

“Enough”, you laughed, “I get it. And why are you telling me this now?”

Fred wiggled his brows suggestively. “I want to prank him. Please just laugh really loud when someone makes a joke. Exaggerate, put your hand on their arm, whatever. Just make him jealous, please?” Fred pleaded.

You bit your lip, mulling it over. George is pretty hot when he’s angry.

“Fine, I’ll do it. But if he breaks up with me, I’ll expose you!”, you warned.

Fred grinned “Deal.”

---

George was fuming as he watched you tutor the boys from your class. You were letting out adorable squeaking noises everytime they made a joke and shyly play with your necklace, drawing the attention to your chest. Glancing over your shoulder you saw him, his jaw clenched as he stared at the boys. Fred was next to him, giving you a thumbs up. You winked, turning back around and resumed your lesson.

George tried to concentrate on his book, but a partucularly loud giggle from your side brought his attention on you. Your boyfriend lost his cool the moment he saw you put your hand on one of the boys’ biceps. George slammed his book shut and sprang up from his seat, marching over. You weren’t quick enough to turn around and he splayed his huge palm across the front of your throat, slamming your head against his stomach. He smashed your lips together in a hard kiss.

“Get your shit and go to my room.” He growled out, not caring about the audience. He likes showing you off.

“But-” You tried to reason, gesturing to the boys.

“Now.” His tone was final and you nodded, excusing yourself from the lesson to grab your bag. You’ll just have to stay longer tomorrow.

He was already walking away with big strides, knowing you’d be a good girl and follow him.

---

“Move it” he said gruffly. You quickly went inside his dorm and he shut the door, turning around to give you an irritated look.

“What’s wrong Georgie?” Your kept your voice soft, feigning innocence.

He let out an angry huff. “Oh, nothing, besides having to witness you flirting with a group of boys-”, he spit out the word boys like an insult, “-right infront of my nose. Oh no everything is fucking fine, why don’t you go touch their arms again? Bet they‘re really fit!”

“I wasn’t flirting with anyone!” You argued, loving where this is going.

“Now you’re lying as well? Fine.”

He grabbed your arm with one hand, the other pushing down your skirt and panties. Tugging you over his lap he put one of his legs over yours to keep you steady.

“Guess I have to remind you who is in control here.”

With that he started to spank you, hitting each cheek with practiced smacks.

„Wait-“

He cut you off with a harsh slap on the bottom part of your ass, making you hiss in pain.

„Quiet.“

You shut your mouth, but couldn‘t hold in the little whimpers of pain. You felt yourself getting wet, the way he was holding you down and doing whatever he wanted made you crave his touch on your cunt.

„Look at you“, he cooed „getting wet from your punishment.“

Still holding you down tightly, he spread your pussy, his middle finger tracing your slit, before pushing in slightly.

„What a pretty cunt, opening right up to me. So you do know who you belong to“, he mused.

Letting you go he made you sit up on his lap, face level with his and slipped two fingers in, his thumb on your clit. You jumped from the sudden pleasure, hands squeezing his shoulders and rocked your hips to meet his fingers.

„Ah George, please..“ you breathed, kissing him and pleaded some more.

„Please what? Wanna cum?“, he mocked you.

„Yes“, you whined with a high pitched voice, „Yes, please!“

He started to go faster, bringing you to the brink, only to pull out over and over again. His fingers curled and fucked you with ease, knowing exactly what got you off.

Yes were begging him, trying to find a way to appease his rage.

„Please“, you cried out, „Please, make me cum! I swear I didn‘t mean to! Ah it was supposed to be a prank. Fuck, George!“

His eyes widened in surprise and he immediately took his fingers out before you came and you sobbed, wanting his fingers back. You had been so close.

His hand came up to squeeze your jaw and you felt your own slick wetting your face.

„What the fuck did you just say?“ His jaw was set, eyes darkening with fury. His fingers squeezed harder and you winced.

„It was supposed to be a joke. You were so cute when you were jealous and I-“

Slap.

Your face turned to your right and your cheek stung from the force behind his hand. He grabbed your hair, pulling your head back until you had to look down to be able to see his face.

„Cute huh? Lets see how cute I am when I fuck your face..“

Still holding your hair in his fist he pushed you on your knees, taking his hard cock out of his pants.

„Open your mouth, bitch.“

You open, sticking your tongue out as he leans over you, spitting on it.

„Keep your mouth open.“

You obey, hands behind your back.

George takes his cock, bringing it to your tongue and slowly rubs the head of his cock against it. He holds it there for a few seconds, pumping leisurely and the precum slowly slides down your tongue. You moan, wanting to taste him and he smirks menacingly. Letting go he takes your head in both hands, pulling you back and forth and you move your tonge along the underside.

„Suck.“

Pulling your lips around him you suck gently, tongue playing with his tip. You moan when you taste him, taking him out to suckle on the tip. Slapping him on your tongue, your hands move down to touch his balls.

He forces your head down, making you gag as you try to take all of him. George clearly doesn‘t care and grunts, moving your head like you‘re his toy.

„Mmm fuck just like that. You know what‘s cute? Me deciding when you get to breathe.“ He moans out, hips bucking when your throat constricts around him. Your nails dig into his thighs, but George keeps fucking your face without a care in the world.

„Fuck yes“, he groans, „look at your pretty mouth stuffed full of cock.“

You gasp when he lets you breathe again. George takes his cock and rubs it along your lips and cheeks.

He gives you a pout, smiling. „Why are you crying baby, was it hard to breathe?“

„Please George“, you plead, voice meek, „Please fuck me, please please!“

He gives you a smirk, bending down to pick you up. You wrap yourself around his tall frame, ankles locking behind his back. He presses you against the door, kissing you harshly and slips inside with a hard thrust.

You cry out, holding on as he fucks you in a merciless pace, his kiss painful. His right forearm presses your head back against the door and your hands fly up to anchor yourself. The lack of oxygen makes you dizzy and you choke as you mewl.

„Gonna cum please!“

He pulls out with a growl, putting you down to turn your back to him. He fucks back inside, the side of your face pressed against the wood.

„You better keep your mouth shut if you don‘t want the whole tower to hear.“

You bite his palm to keep yourself from screaming when his cock hits that spongey spot inside of your cunt, making you see stars. George twitches inside of you, his own moans loud against the door.

„Want everyone to know how good you make me feel“, he moans into your ear, hissing when your teeth sink into his palm. He takes that as a warning that you‘re about to cum and pulls out, throwing you on the floor. Not giving you time to adjust he fucks your face again.

You gag around him and he leans he head against the door, groans turning into whimpers. Your nose is smushed against his pubic hair, drool leaking from your mouth.

„Fuck gonna cum ah-“

He cums in hot spurts down your throat, voice breaking when he calls out your name. He keeps fucking your face, slowly now and pulls out, crouching down infront of you.

„Please George“, you blabber, so fucking needy. You were delirious with want, just wanting to cum.

„This is your punishment“, he sneers against your parted lips. „You don‘t get to cum today.“

---

You‘re in the library again, sitting on George‘s lap when you tutor the boys. They don‘t dare to make a single comment, diligently taking notes and not once looking behind you. Your were leaning forward on your elbows, your face resting in your hands, when you felt George‘s hands glide up your legs. You ignored him and continued to teach, balling your fists when he slipped your skirt up. You felt him harden underneath you when he saw the bruises on your ass from yesterday.

You told the boys to mull over a question you asked them and leaned back.

„What are you-“

You didn‘t get far with your question when you felt his cock against your pussy. He slipped in slowly and you felt him stretch you, his hands holding you still.

You gasped in surprise, shading your face with your hand and bit your lip from making any noise.

George just sat there, hands rubbing your thighs and let you teach. You tried to hurry up, your cunt squeezing him accidentally when his fingers would graze your swollen clit. He fucked up into you whenever that happend, clearly not afraid to make you cum in front of everyone.

He gripped your waist pulling you back and his cock grazed your sweet spot, making you whine softly and press back. You were still frustrated from the day before, he hadn‘t let you cum at all.

„Be quiet or I‘ll stop“, he said, biting your earlobe.

„Yes, George.“

„There‘s my good girl.“ He kissed behind your ear and you made sure that the boys were busy with the essay, before you parted your legs to let your boyfriend play with your clit.

His fingers rubbed your clit slowly, before he gradually went faster, circling his hips so his cock would fuck your sweet spot.

„Um, whats the answer to question four?“

Fuck.

Your felt George go faster when he realized that it was ghe boy you touched and tried to answer.

„Um it‘s“, you choked on your words, hand gripping George’s wrist under the table, but he shook it off.

„Goblin revolution“, George responded, voice hard. „Now concentrate.“

The boy immediately looked down, not daring to ask another question. You had your face burried in your hands, tembling slightly.

George thrust up hard, acting like he was adjusting in his seat and you came on his fingers, biting your thumb to keep any noise in. You felt him cum inside of you, a warm feeling spreading in your cunt.

He went back to kissing your neck in attempt to cover his own moans, biting hard when he felt you squeeze him tight.

Slowly he pulled his hand away to bring it up to his lips and you heard him hum around the wet fingers.

Blushing you crossed your legs with him still inside of you and continued the lesson.

„I have my good girl back, yes?“

You flushed at the question, his voice a little too loud. George didn‘t care, he wanted them to hear.

„Yes George.“

And Fred was laughing his ass off behind you. Now everyone would know what a kinky fucking couple you are.

#george weasley #george weasley smut #hp smut #harry potter smut

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skipper1331 · 1 year ago

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youngster // Lionesses

a/n: based off this request. Hope you like it :D

Getting your first senior call up at the age of 17 was shocking. Your call up came shortly before the euros and it was scary. You felt two sides of emotions, you felt the positives, the wow I’m in the senior squad and the negatives, shit I’m the in the senior squad with legends. You knew most of them, played against many of them as well yet the thought of having an actual conversation with them freaked you out.

But thinking back, you wouldn‘t change a thing.

Your first ever training session was interesting to say at least. As a striker, your goal was it to score but you didn‘t. At each opportunity, you passed the ball to someone else, so they could score. You were too afraid what the girls would think if you scored and if the ball wouldn‘t cross the line or if they thought it was selfish to shoot from your position.

By now, you knew the girls, you had to talked to some of them (not many) but something in your mind was telling you: keep distance, they‘re legends, you‘re just a 17 year old girl who got lucky with the call up.

Your behavior didn‘t go unnoticed - the squad questioning what the matter was with you.

"Kid, what‘s up?" Lucy asked one evening as she saw you sitting alone, watching the sunset.

"Lucy, hey"

"How are you feeling?" the older woman took it as her mission to get to know you. With the intention, that you would eventually warm up with her and the team, "First senior camp, hm?"

"Ye-yeah" nervously, you scratched your neck. You were literally talking to someone who you had admired since you were a little girl. As you felt the blush arose on your cheeks, you looked away, back at the sunset. "It’s okay to be the best version of yourself you know" she didn‘t look in your direction either, staring at the sunset as well.

"I- I don’t know what you’re talking about"

Scooting closer to your figure, the brunette looked briefly at you, "you‘re holding back. I‘ve seen you score goals for your club but not a single one here, why?"

"I don‘t know" you felt caught in fear yet Lucy made you feel like she wouldn‘t judge you for it. "It‘s scary? It‘s weird to know that I’m in the same room as you guys. Look at Ellen, she‘s a top scorer and when I am next to her in a scrimmage why would I shoot if I‘m in the same team as her?" you muttered the last part as you pulled your knees closer to your body.

"It‘s okay to be scared. But you‘re here for a reason. You have the talent, show them. Show everybody that you‘re not just the 17 year old," she laid her arm around your shoulder, bringing you some comfort before she whispered, "and by the way, all the girls think you‘re amazing. Even Ellen" she winked at you as you stared at here with wide eyes. Ellen White thought you‘re amazing?! The legend herself?

After the conversation with Lucy you were a changed woman. Slowly but surely, you felt comfortable with everyone on the team. You scored goals, worked hard and you’d proven yourself.

The girls became your family.

"Last one in the changing room is a loser" you shouted to Lessi and Ella while you began running, the best friends sprinting after you and Alessia almost tripping over her own feet as she tried to catch up with you. "You cheater!" Ella yelled as she chased after you, yourself laughing at her.

"Winner!" you threw your fist in the air, celebrating your little win as the striker and midfielder entered the room, "took ya long enough, huh?" mocking Ella’s thick accent, you yawned, acting as if you waited ages for them.

Ella and Alessia shared a look, smirking as they stepped closer to you. You looked at both of them, the mischief smiles obvious. "Oh no" you muttered. Before you even had the chance to react, the girls tackled you in sweaty hug as they started to annoy you with weird noises or tickle fingers.

"You‘re the loser" Lessi stated, laughing while Ella claimed, "I don‘t sound like that!"

During the international break you had two friendlies planned - one against Ireland and one against Australia.

Both tough opponents.

"Y/n" Sarina called over the pitch as you were about to take a shower like the rest of the girls. When you saw walking in your direction, you walked towards her, "yes?"

"Do you have a moment?" she asked nicely.

"Um, yeah sure!" nervously you scratched your arm, "is something wrong?"

"No! Actually quite the opposite. Let’s take a seat" she pointed towards the bench before she went there, yourself following behind. "In two days we‘ll face Ireland and you‘ll give your debut" she started, shushing you as you were about to cut her off, "you‘ll come off the bench and then you will show the world your talent."

Dazed, you nodded, "I’m really proud of you. This and last camp you improved very much, you deserve this" with that she left. Sarina was nice and a very good coach but also kind off mysterious which she had shown just now. You liked her.

You came on in the 75th minute for Ellen. The Og-lioness gave you a quick high five before she hugged you, cupping your cheeks while she told you "go smash it!" as well, she pressed a loving motherly kiss to your forehead. Everything’s going to be fine.

On the pitch, you looked around, assuring smiles coming from all of your team mates, even from one or two Irish girls.

Senior debut with 17, that’s world class.

While England was 2-0 in the lead, Ireland got desperate and angry, players like Katie McCabe showing it with the tackles she did.

Your moment came when Keira passed the ball to you. Dribbling around the defender you ran up to the goalie, no other defender near you, the goal keeper came out of her goal, off her line, with open legs. You had many possibilities, you could chip over her, shoot past her right/left or through her legs. And even though you had many possibilities, your brain decided on one before you could even consider which was the best option.

It was your moment to shine yet you embarrassed the gk by nutmegging her. You didn‘t care though and neither did your friends, you scored your debut goal on your debut match. It felt surreal. The stadium erupted in cheers and roars while the girls jumped on your back. Alessia was the first by your side, jumping on your back as Ella jumped on you from the side, the rest of the lionesses joining close behind. Millie and Rach smacked your head in appreciation and pride while others patted your back, Lucy being different as she squeezed your cheeks like an old aunty.

"So proud of you, little one" Leah whispered in your ear as you walked back in your own half, "thank you" you whispered, cheeks already red by all the attention you had gotten.

Like Ellen did earlier the England captain as well pressed a kiss to your forehead, showing her love.

The came continued until the ref blew the final whistle. Cheers were heard around the stadium, the girls happy with the outcome of the game. After every opponents hand was shaken the girls huddled around you, yelling, singing and the ManCity girls even dancing your name. "Debut oh oh oh, debut goal oh oh oh" they sang, hugging you in a group hug before they lifted you up.

Finally, you felt like a part of the team, like a lioness.

The game against Australia was a whole different story. With players like Sam Kerr and Mary Fowler up front, Alanna Kennedy and Steph Catley in the back and a brick of wall like Arnold in goal, you knew for sure that match wouldn‘t be easy. Not one team going down without a fight.

The difference this time was though, you were in the starting line up.

Arriving at the stadium, you walked out of the bus towards the building, your hand slipping in Georgias, the bayern player looking down at you. She knew how it was to be a newbie and young. Ever since you had warmed up with the team it was known fact that you loved physical touch. It calmed your nerves and just made you feel free. None of the girls minded, they enjoyed it, you were like their kid and/or little sister. So a routine had developed;

walking out of the bus in the stadium? You would hold hands with Georgia.

Scoring a goal? The skipper would kiss your forehead.

You talked to Lucy? She would‘ve her arm around your shoulder.

Ella, Lessi and Mary? Bear hug.

The thing you enjoyed the most though was the group hugs in games, it didn‘t matter if you were squished in the middle, on top or barely in the hug - just hugging the limbs around you - it was special.

"Less, could you braid my hair, please?" you asked the blonde who was already in her warm up gear. "Yeah sure!" the striker replied sweetly. You took a seat in front of her before she started to comb through your hair and eventually braid it.

In the tunnel, you stood in front Lucy, nerves kicking in as you shuffled with your feet. The brunette saw your state, her hands creeping up to massage your shoulders. She leant towards you, "deep breaths. You‘re gonna be fine" she said and that was it.

Both teams walked out of the stadium, music playing as you stood in a row. When the official part (singing the national anthem, high-fiving your opponents, etc) was finally over you were happy. You wanted to play football.

The game started intense, Australia pressed high and played very physically. Your enemy of the night was Alanna Kennedy, the Manchester City defender. She defended and distributed balls as much as she could - she was fantastic. All of her tackles were clean, too.

Then there was a corner kick.

Alex stepped up to take it as everybody positioned themselves in the box or close to it. You remember the ball flying in your direction, you remember jumping in the air and something hitting your face. It wasn‘t the ball, it wasn‘t an elbow either - it felt painful.

Your body hit the ground with a thud, your vision already black as (unknown to you) blood trickled down your face. Everyone was so focused on stopping the counter attack that no one on your team, the opposing team or the referee noticed that you were on the ground, knocked out. Macca was the first by your side, she got the message instantly - you weren‘t going to get up. She yelled something, her gloves already tossed aside as she turned you around. There was a nasty cut on the right side of your forehead, going down to your temple and blood running out of your nose. When the ref finally realized something was wrong she blew her whistle, too far away to check on you immediately - she gave the sign for the medics to come on the pitch. It took one look at your numb body before the first girls started running. Ellen and Lucy were by your side while the medics did their job. Leah was arguing with the ref, angry words leaving her mouth as Millie tried to stop her. Yet Millie also having not so friendly words resting on the tip of her tongue.

When the replay was shown on the big screen every person in the stadium inhaled sharply. It showed you jumping up and Hayley Raso jumping up as well with an outstretched leg which then connected with your face. That was enough for Millie to let go of Leah and march over to the Australian, Rachel close by. Angrily, she poked her chest as she muttered how reckless that was. There was big huddle, other players got involved but still, you were laying on the pitch. Everything happened so fast and got out of hand way too quickly.

"My head hurts" you rasped out. Ellen’s eyes grew wide, "hey" she sighed in relief.

"Do you have a twin?" you asked, eyes closing again.

"No?"

"why do I see you twice?"

Helplessly, Ellen looked at Lucy who shrugged her shoulders before she looked at the medics.

"The stretcher is coming"

You laid on a bed, head bandaged as you mumbled something. Benched Lotte sat next to you, Sarina with the strict order to look after you. Lotte held your hand in a comforting manner even if you didn‘t realize the act. "You know, a shrimp‘s heart is in its head" you muttered, smiling at the ceiling, high on painkillers. Lotte smiled to herself as the next random fact left your mouth and another one. Actually, she was quite impressed by your random knowledge.

"How is she?!" Jill asked as she harshly opened the door, the other girls behind the tall woman. Squeezing together in the room, the whole squad including Sarina stood inside, all eyes on you, "hi hi" you giggled, clapping your hands.

"I like you, you, you and you, you, you, oh and you," you pointed at each of the girls until you didn‘t feel like it anymore "ah, I just love all of you. My heros"

The days after, the girls took care of you like you were a royalty. They helped you to get dressed, reminded you to take your medication, walked with you - so if something happens, they could help you and everything. You really appreciated it, even though it annoyed you, after the first week where everything was almost back normal.

When the euros call up came, you were beyond excited. A European championship on home soil, could it get any better?

You loved everything about that tournament. The mood in the team was untouchable, the flair unreal and the games on fire. It surprised yourself when you got the chance to play in an actual euros match and even scoring. You felt a high like everyone else did.

It was the match against Spain when you scored the winning goal. The stadium erupted in roars, the girls celebrating jumping around you as each of them gave you a forehead kiss. Leah was the first who did - she always did it after a goal of yours but when Lucy did the same after that and Georgia joined as well, all the girls pressed a loving and thankful kiss to your forehead. It was the perfect moment, could’ve been a movie moment.

Winning the trophy was your and the highlight. Ella scored the opening goal and Chloe the final one, it was surreal. You had never felt prouder in your life.

When the final whistle blew, you ran for your dear life. You ran to the person who was the closest and jumped onto her as you shouted something cheerful. You - like everybody, felt euphoric. It was phenomenal.

You did it. The girls did it. The lionesses did it. They brought the trophy home.

With just 17 you won your first major senior trophy, many to come and as the youngster of the group, there will never be a day where you have to worry about anything. The girls had your back and you had theirs because you‘re a lioness.

All for one and one for all.

————————

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sohnswoo · 3 years ago

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ONCE IN A LIFETIME

masterlist ||

pairing: RYUJIN x IDOL!GN!Reader

genre: angst, break-up

word count: about 800

Remember the line „I love you and I can‘t thank you enough for being here – not just now but always“? The one you dedicated her at your show in Seoul in the last 5 months? Surely do. The line meant a lot to you and Ryujin. You were always so thankful having her around, being each others shoulders to lean on and always supporting each others.

Things have changed, lately you‘ve been fighting a lot, went as far as breaking up due to her noisiness and your stubbornness. Those two things were your most hated things about each other. Ryujin always wanted to know what you‘re up to, what you‘re doing today, with whom, when you will be at home again and much more. While you, you wouldn‘t tell her sometimes when you had a rough day or just went like „That‘s none of your business, Shin“. Usually, you guys never call each other by your last name – only when you were fighting or joking around. But this time, you weren‘t joking – and she neither.

„WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOT IN THE MOOD?!“, you literally yelled straight at her face while trying to get behind her to move to another room. She ran after you, „WHY WON‘T YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT‘S ON YOUR MIND? AM I- IS THIS RELATIONSHIP A JOKE TO YOU? I AM SO TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING THE ONE WHO IS LOOKING AFTER YOU AND ASKING HOW YOU ARE“, she responds. You ‚tch‘ and roll your eyes while stopping in-track. „If you‘re so tired, and are questioning our relationship,“ you take a short break while not being able to look at her,“then let‘s just end this. Here and now. I‘m sick of the same bullshit happening everyday.“ You look straight at her eyes and you could sense the anger from her. You weren‘t really sure if she was angry or sad – probably both, but right now it didn‘t matter to you. Both of you were arguing the entire week – no, month already. The same topics. You really loved Ryujin and she surely loved you but right now you just couldn‘t. You were so fed up with her actions, around you or even when you were at work and she would spam call and text you. In your early stages you really enjoyed the attention you were getting from her. You also texted her every now and then but if you‘re being honest with yourself, Ryujin did the most in this relationship (besides you literally singing about being in a relationship and Dispatch leaking every small picture of you).

„You‘re joking, tell me you‘re joking?!“ She said. She really hoped you were – but in fact, you weren‘t. You took this way too seriously, since you argued a lot. She stormed into your shared bedroom and packed her things, giving you no more attention like you wanted her to. Secretly, she hoped you would hug her from behind and tell her that you were just „too much in your emotions and that you could overcome this together“, but no, you did nothing. You were in another room and stared at the ceiling. You did have bad thoughts, but right now, you really didn‘t want to see her. You could feel your heart aching, reaching out for her. You still had to hold back.

In the next few minutes you heard loud „thuds“, probably coming from your bedroom. You didn‘t want to go there, reminding yourself Ryujin wouldn‘t want to see you right now. You also started to ignore the growing pain inside you, not really caring about your relationship, or well, your former relationship now, anymore.

You could hear sobs coming from her and curses while packing but you let her be. When she was done, she shot you one last glance before making her way towards the front door, unlocking the door and smashing the key on the ground. She also took one of your couple bracelets off, one that the both of you thought looked nice. In hers, there was an initial of you engraved and in yours was an ‚R‘. The bracelet broke into pieces laying across the floor. She‘d look at you and mutter a low „I hate you, Y/N. I hate you so much, I- hate myself for loving you.“ for you to hear. She closed the door and called someone, probably one of her members to pick her up.

When you made your way towards the shattered pieces of her bracelet, you would kneel down and try your best to collect every single piece. While holding one up, with the engraved „R“, you would mutter „Even if i tried to hate you, I could never stop loving you.“

#itzy #itzy ryujin #itzy scenario #shin ryujin #ryujin scenario #angst scenario #idol x idol!reader #idol x reader #idol x gn reader

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91percentpynch · 4 years ago

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jean moreau x pride months

happy pride month kids, here‘s some wholesome jerejean content for your soul!! does this make any sense? no. is it a mess? yes. hope you enjoy this!!

the first pride month

it‘s the beginning of june and jeremy starts acting weird

he smiles more, the real smile normally reserved for winning an exy game or when he‘s alone with jean

he started drawing flags on his face or on his eye lids, jeremy never wore make-up, not more than his usual eyeliner and nail polish

„what does that mean?“, jean asks, pointing at the flags on his cheeks.

„the pink, yellow, blue one means i‘m pan. you know, i like more than one gender, i told you that already. and the grey, purple, white and black one that looks like an arrow? that means i‘m demisexual, you know how i only feel sexual attraction to people i have a bond with? that‘s demisexual. those are pride flags, it‘s pride month. didn‘t you know that?“

of course jean didn‘t know, after all he was locked up in a bassement for 10 years and he didn‘t exactly talk the first time he came over here last year at the end of june.

„what‘s pride month?“, jean asked softly, knowing that jeremy would never judge him, never think he was stupid.

„it‘s a month for lgbtqa+ folks. that stands for lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender, questioning, asexuals, aromantics and everything inbetween. we celebrate ourselves this month, show how proud we are of ourselves and our community. we celebrate marsh johnson, the black transgender, gay sex worker who started the riots, stonewell, and basically threw a brick at a police officer and started the fight for gay rights“

„how do you know you‘re not straight?“, jean asked quietly. thinking about the way his mind keeps wandering back to jeremy, keeps wandering back to the thought of kissing him, holding his hand, the feeling of his soft, badly dyed ginger hair between his fingers.

„well i always payed more attention to the personality, than the gender. i never really cared what‘s between the legs. and it took me quite a while to figure out that i only feel sexual attraction to people when i have a connection to them“

„have you ever kissed a guy?“, jean asked, curiously now. in the nest it was forbidden, but kevin wanted to try it once, in the dark of the night, the saftey of their room. jean couldn‘t tell if he enjoyed it or not, he never really felt any kind of attraction really. only bone deep fear. burning anger. and whatever the fuck his heart was doing when kevin held him close.

„yeah, i had a boyfriend throughout highschool, sophmore year until the end of summer of our senior year. and then freshman year of college i had this girlfriend who was really controlling and yeah. that‘s it. have you?“, his voice was soft, it reminded jean of the sunlight forming some kind of halo behind jeremy.

„kevin wanted to try it once. riko caught us. that‘s how it began“, jean replied, a shadow crossing over both his and jeremy‘s face. in a moment of weakness, at the beginning, jean told jeremy what they did to him in the nest, after jeremy accidentally touched him from behind.

„do you want to try it again?“, jeremy asked, a small smile on his lips. „with me, that is“, he added, barely audible.

„okay“, jean replied, leaning in.

jean was a couple inches taller than jeremy, and jeremy had to stand on his tiptoes to close the last few inches between them.

it was a soft kiss, a different than the stolen ones from kevin. better. these tasted like sunlight, like warmth, like home.

jean kissed jeremy back. carefully, softly, being scared he would break him, destroy him with his darkness.

„how was it?“, jeremy smiled at him after they were done, exchanging kisses, not stealing them. they were equals, no one would hurt him for wanting this

„i think i‘m only attracted to you“, jean admitted quietly. „but like not sexually. i don‘t like sex. never did. i never thought anyone was sexually attractive, i never wanted this and i still don‘t. i‘m sorry“

„you don‘t have to apologize, jean. that‘s being called asexual, the lack of sexual attraciton that is. and the not wanting sex part? sex repulsed. very valid. i will never be like them, i will never force you to do anyhting you‘re not comfortable with“

„and what if you miss having sex and want it and i can‘t give it to you?“, jean asked, tears burning behind his eyes. „i‘m not worth of your light, your warmth, your love as it is. i‘m broken, i‘m dark, i‘m everything you don‘t deserve. you deserve someone who is fixed and happy and can give you the entire world and go places without a panic attack and and and“

„ssh, jean. it‘s alright. it‘s alright. i want you. no one but you. i really, really like you and i am glad you like me to. you‘re not broken, you‘re not dark. you are wonderful. and no one is fixed, we‘re all a little broken in our own ways. i struggled with an eating disorder. i have adhd. sometimes i feel a little sad without any reason and can‘t get out of bed. sometimes i can‘t sleep and other days i could sleep for days. i don‘t need the entire world, i just need you“

it was this june, about a year after jean arrived in california, that he not only found a person who saw more in him than his scars, but a person who loved him not despite of them but for them

the second pride month

it‘s been a year since jean and jeremy kissed for the first time. a year full of highs and lows, fights and making up, miscommunication and cuddles, sweet kisses and ones tasting of tears. but it was also the year jean figured out that he might not be a boy after all.

„do you ever feel like you‘re not a entirely a boy?“, jean asked softly, threading his fingers through jeremy‘s soft blonde hair.

„dude, i‘m genderfluid, remember? alvarez bursted in our room and threw these in our face so people could refer to me with the right pronouns“

„that‘s why you changed your middle name to sol isn‘t it? because you like the sun and you like your hispanic heritage and it‘s a female name?“

„exactamente mi corazón“

„what are you today?“, jean asked softly, as he did every day.

„they/them, i don‘t feel like a guy or a girl today. just vibing“

„i- i think i‘m not entirely a boy either. like i know i was born as a boy and i‘m okay with that. but i feel like there‘s more to that. i can‘t put it in words but i think i want to try to go by he/ they. what do you call those people who don‘t quite find in the binary? i think i‘m that“

„that‘s nonbinary darling. i‘m proud of you. you‘re doing great“

jean didn‘t know how to repeat to that so he just decided to pull jeremy closer to him.

this pride month jean found a little part of himself, another puzzle piece to the mystery that his own person and it felt like a tiny little step towards a future he never dreamt he would have.

it was also the month he started wearing nail polish, because he loved the look on jeremy‘s face when they did them. occasionally he will wear some eyeliner.

the third pride month

another year passed, this year jean got himself a support dog. to help with the anxiety attacks. to help him heal.

it‘s a dalmatiner, called luna. she was trained to feel when he is uncomfortable and come closer to him, licking his hands, being close, being there

it is also the month he wanted to join jeremy for pride

„what are you today?“

„a girl i think. jeremy or sol are both fine“

„will you draw the flags on my face?“, he asked on the day of the parade.

„are you sure you want to go honey?“, sol asked softy, while she went to the bathroom to get her things.

„would i have asked if it wasn‘t moi amour?“, jean replied. „wait hold on, don‘t answer that“, he laughed looking at jeremy‘s face.

„but i‘m sure. first of all it makes you happy. second of all you missed it the last two years. third of all it will piss kevin off and i love that almost as much as i love. and lastly i have luna, she makes sure i‘m fine and i can always leave when i feel uncomfortable“

„okay, babe. what do you want me to do?“

„i want my flags on my face and maybe you can do my nails“, jean replied, smiling at jeremy as he did ever so often. „cover the tatoo, will you?“, he asked softly, touching the cursed three, counting the days for his cover up appointment in july.

„it‘s soon gone honey. it‘s gonna be alright“, jeremy whispered, feeling the tension in jean‘s shoulders.

„which color do you want your nails? mine are pastel rainbow look! alvarez got me those for my birthday last month! do you want matching nails?“

„whatever you want darling, you can choose“

„neat!“

this year jeremy‘s hair were a soft pink. it was 2 am when he bursted into the room whisper shouting „jean i‘m gay i must do something drastic to my hair. help me?“ and who was jean to question his beautiful date mate.

so jeremy took jean‘s face carefully in his hands, starting to draw jean‘s pride flags (demiromantic, asexual, nonbinary) on his face, hiding his tattoo underneath the black/ white/grey/ purple stripes of the asexual pride flag.

„they have no power over you anymore mi corazón. and if anyone gives you shit i will come for them“, jeremy whisperes against jean‘s lips before softly kissing them. „and now give me your beautiful hands so i can do your nails. i‘m feeling a pastel rainbow“

for the parade jean is wearing one of the shirts jeremy got him. it‘s yellow with a rainbow on it. „so you have a little brightness in your life“, he would tell him when he go it for him. it was before they started dating. it was before jean was able to tell him „but you are the brightest thing in the world and somehow you chose me as your person“, paired with light blue ripped jeans and his yellow fans. they started wearing yellow when they came to california, cutting off black completely, replacing it with colors and brightness.

jeremy on the other hand wore rainbow dungarees with a white shirt and white doc martens. his hair was up in two space buns, little pride flags put into them.

„do you think they get the hint?“, she smiled with a blinding smile.

„you‘re so unbelieveably beautiful sol“, jean replied.

they got luna and went to the parade.

it was scary, yes. but it was also beautiful.

people approaching them, asking for selfies, talking to him.

at first he was a bit anxious, but sol took their hand and luna licked his feet and it was alright. no one was hurting him. no one would punish him. he was surrounded by pride and love and happiness.

at some point he asked a girl with rainbow hair, she reminded him of renee, if she could take a picture of him and jeremy. she said yes, took one of them smiling, one of them kissing, and one of them where jeremy just smiled at his person.

it was the pride month he came out via social media. it was the pride month kevin called at two am, telling him how happy he was for them. that he himself found a boy, fell for him, but is too much a coward to do something about it. it‘s the year where he gets a lot of love, many fans telling him how proud they are of him and at least the same amount of hate. but it was alright. they had jeremy and that was all that truly mattered.

now

year after year they returned to the pride parade, with flags on their faces, or around their shoulders

sometimes neil and andrew or aaron and kevin would join them, sometimes they would go with laila and alvarez and sometimes jean and jeremy would go on their own

after college jean quit exy, jeremy went pro and gave his money to moriyamas, while jean opened his own tattoo studio, wrote songs, wrote crappy poetry and slightly better novels, tried himself as a part time model and fashion designer

they found happiness and home in each other and celebrated their love not only in pride but also every single day of the year

jean and jeremy got more dogs, an apartment of their own with big windows so they could watch the sunrise and sunset together

they have their ups and downs, like every other couple, but that doesn‘t matter. never did. what truly matters is that they keep finding back to each other. that they keep ending up in the same bed, in each others arms.

jean moreau never believed in love, never believed in soulmates and yet he found their soulmate, found the love of his life. and they are happy they stayed, kept fighting, to find this. to make a difference to the world. to be finally free. to be alive, living instead of only existing.

„jean?“, jermey says, fidgeting with his fingers.

„what is it moi soleil?“, jean relies getting lost in these ocean blue eyes.

„do you remember what happened five years ago?“, jeremy asks, his eyes looking anywhere but jean.

„we kissed for the first time?“, jean answers, panic slowly crawling through his veins.

„exactly so i thought we could celebrate this at the beach. you know, where our first date was?“, jeremy says nervously.

„honey are you alrighgt?“, jean is getting more and more worried, jeremy has never been that nervous.

„sure, come on mi corazón“

so jean slowly gets up and carefully puts on his shoes. something is weird here, something is wrong

jeremy seems off the entire ride to the beach they had their first date at.

when they arrive jean takes jeremy‘s hand, noticing that they are shaking ever so slightly. it is something like a nervous tick of them.

jean and jeremy arrive at the beach in time to watch the sun setting, making place for her lover the moon.

jean looks over to jeremy, when they suddenly get up and start pacing.

„jer, you‘re scaring me. please tell me what‘s going on up there“, jean says touching his head lightly.

„okay. i can do this“, jeremy mumbles as he gets down on his knee. „jean moreau, you are the love of my life. the light of my existence. ever since i saw you for the first time i knew i liked you, more than i was supposed to. i never dared to hope you would ever like me, or love me for that matter, but somehow you did. somehow you didn‘t turn away when i told you i‘m demi or pan or genderfluid. you stayed. you supported me. you love me. and i want to spend the rest of my life with you, so do me the favour and in the name of god, should they exist, do me the favour and marry me“

jean feels tears running his cheeks. „of course i will marry you, you loser“, he laughs, as he pulls jeremy down to him and connects their lips together. and it feels like their first kiss. it always does. and they would do that for the rest of their lives.

#all for the game #the foxhole court #the raven king #the king’s men #jeremy knox #jean moreau #jerejean #jeremy knox x jean moreau #ship: jerejean

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jbbuckybarnes · 4 years ago

Text

Scared & Sacred - Ch. 2

Pairing: Din Djarin x Reader Description: The Mandalorian had helped you while you were hunted for your family name and you had grown a little closer over the months, but you didn’t expect THIS. How was this possible after just three times of getting so close to him. You had to find a nurse as fast as possible. Warnings: pregnancy, angst, lots of emotions, canon typical violence, fighting

M A S T E R L I S T

Chapter 2 - The Letter

Every night you prepared some more food in little portions to keep you alive on the journey you would start soon. You had three pairs of every clothing in a compartment that you would put into a bag, bought another bag on the last planet to put the food, water and a blanket in. Even got a cheap med pack on the last planet. On the next planet you‘d leave. You‘d find someone to bring you back to that harmonic place where the nurse droid told you that you were expecting.

„Cyare?“ You closed the compartment as you heard him come closer. „Hm?“ You looked up at him in front of you, holding a fuzzing Grogu. „Something‘s upsetting him.“ Arms reached up and grabbed Grogu out of Din‘s gentle grasp. „Hey, sweetpea, you‘re safe here. We won‘t let anything happen to you, yeah?“ You tried to calm him a bit. It worked a tiny bit, but he wiggled free again to sit on your lap and nuzzle into your belly. „Better?“ You chuckled and got a coo of agreement, making you chuckle. Eyes wandered up to the Mandalorian again, „It‘s okay, he can sleep here.“ It would be a nice last night having Grogu sleeping right on top of you, showing love to his sibling. You started to notice that region of your body growing harder to the touch. „Do you mind if we share?“ Din‘s modulated voice reached your ears. „I‘d prefer sleeping alone, if I‘m being honest.“ You answered softly, shutting him out of your heart and bed. „Did I do anything to upset you? You‘ve been very distant since we left Arcaro.“ That was the harmonic planet, you saved the name internally. „I miss your touch.“ „Oh, no no. Just having a lot on my mind at the moment. Going through memories of my childhood and all.“ That was only half a lie, so you didn‘t feel very bad. „If you need to talk, you know I‘m there.“ You nodded softly, starting to hear Grogu snore. „Get some sleep, Din. You have people to hunt tomorrow.“ You smiled and saw him nod before heading off to his cot.

You couldn‘t sleep with the journey ahead on your mind, so you grabbed a piece of flimsy and started writing a letter to Din that you would leave behind, attaching your soup recipe that the kid liked the most. You put it in an envelope and put it between your pillow and the mattress. Shortly after the exhaustion of the day got you to fall asleep for a few hours.

Din and Grogu were hunting for a Corellian woman while you got the last important pieces for your journey and the ship. You filled up the food supply, bought another melee weapon and you found a very used vest that would hold off blaster shots that you put on under your gown. Once all of that was done you checked through your backpack and side bag and put them on your body. A deep breath went through you as you looked around one last time. This was a great home and protection for a while, but it was time for another chapter in your life. You‘d miss Grogu a lot, as well as the beskar armored man with the patience of a Jedi.

You headed down the main street of the city to find a ship you could fly with all the way back towards the planet of Arcaro. You ended up meeting a woman that used to be a fighter for the Republic. Hated the Empire and thought bounty hunters are annoying. Seemed safe enough. As you took off she asked, „What‘s your business here?“ „Leaving behind the people that helped me run from the people that hunted my family because I‘m with child and they weren‘t ready to accept that kinda life.“ You kept it short but clear. „Damn, that sounds like a lifestory if I ever heard one. Who knocked you up?“ She was direct. Reminded you of Cara. „The man that protected me for the last months. Very kind, kind of emotionally incompetent, definitely wouldn‘t take the news well.“ „I see.“ She nodded before jumping into hyperspace. She knew you had the credits to pay her, everything else was just listening to your interesting story and getting a good tip for a market.

— POV CHANGE —

Din stepped into his ship with Grogu. It was dead silent, not completely unusual. What was unusual was the fact you didn‘t react when he called out „Cyare?“ The child in his arms cooed in confusion and looked up at him with a frown. „She might still be caught up on the market. We‘ll wait.“ But even that plan fell away once he had fully arrived home and opened the compartment that you had fully stocked before leaving. „Oh, I‘m having a bad feeling about this,“ he whispered to himself as he closed the compartment and put the scanner on his helmet on. Only your footsteps, no others in sight. That didn‘t make sense. She never really went on walks, when she did she always was back in time to welcome him. He followed the steps and arrived in another hangar. „Hey, you there!“ He pointed at the slightly intimidated man near the hangar. „Y-Yes?“ „Have you seen a human woman in white and blue gowns, a green bag and braided hair? This big, cloak is blue too, with white details on it.“ „She went through here, yes.“ „Did she seem afraid?“ „No, she was acting normal. Talked to a woman that frequently takes travellers with her to other places. Seemed to be ready for a trip.“ „Dank ferrik! Thank you.“ NOW he was a different type of concerned. Why did you leave? Willingly! He scanned over the holopad the man held, taking in the information on it that he hoped was about the ship you were in.

When he got back he noticed one of his weapons missing in his arsenal, your blue blindfold on the co-pilot seat and everything neatly cleaned and organized in the kitchen. This was starting to kill him from the inside out. What had happened? What would make you get up and leave on purpose? From the man you loved and the child you cared for so much? He checked your bed. It wasn‘t made. The only thing in here that wasn‘t neat and tidy. And there he saw it, something sticking out from under your pillow. His mind went back to the time he found a little booklet there. A booklet about human children, medical stuff. He took off his gloves and grabbed the flimsy, opening the envelope he held in his hands shortly after and noticed it was a letter addressed at him.

*Dear Din, I know this might be confusing. That I‘m gone now, that I went without telling you. I know it‘s dangerous out there and that you are a big reason I‘m still breathing, but I couldn‘t bear the idea of making a decision benefiting you and leaving me lost. When you told me you weren‘t ready for a child, I knew I had to leave. I won‘t decide against it and I didn‘t wanna hear from your voice that I shouldn‘t keep it. I‘ll miss you. I‘ll miss Grogu. He‘ll miss his unborn sibling too. I know how excited he was for it. I‘m content with knowing that the child was created out of love. Two months and about a week ago. I hope that gives you rest about the situation. I‘ll go back to Arcaro. The place with the beautiful market and one of the best nurse droids I‘ve ever met. I‘ll figure out where to go and how to be on my own from there. I hope you don‘t mind that I took one of the weapons you barely used in the last months. Have this recipe for Grogu in return, he loves it the most and sleeps the best after eating it. Love, Y/N*

Din was drowning in an ocean of feelings. He wanted to cry, scream, beg, jump in happiness and yearned to have you in his arms. Oh, how much he wanted to have you in his arms right now. How much he wished you would‘ve told him that day. He would‘ve pushed away all your doubts. He would‘ve worshipped you, your body, the wonders happening inside of you. Instead you were running from him like he was some disgusting monster.

He sat down in the pilots seat with Grogu on his arm and the letter in the other hand, setting it down gently and punching in the coordinates to the planet you mentioned. You‘d arrive there after him if he did this trick right.

— POV CHANGE —

You gave the Republic lady a big tip and a hug. „It‘s rare to meet someone to talk to like this. Thank you for the ride and the long talk.“ You smiled at her and she grabbed both of your arms gently. „I land here every now and then, so if you ever see this piece of metal land, say hello.“ She grinned and let you go.

You stepped down the ramp of her vessel to see the market you loved so much fairly empty. It was really early in the morning on this planet. You got closer to the market and saw how some vendors currently refilled their little shops. „Where do you think you‘re going?“ A dark voice was audible behind you. It was familiar. „Kuuvi?“ You turned around to the man that has been hunting you for a year now. He used to be a good friend. „Yes, it‘s me.“ You turned around to him with a smile. „How have you been?“ You asked as if he didn‘t have the capacity to kill you right there. „Eating good, having a nice ship, good people around. How about you?“ He shrugged. „Except for the nice ship I can only say the same.“ „Where is your tin can?“ „Oh, he‘s just getting some supplies. Looking for a better ship at the moment. Razor Crest is great and all, but it gets crammed in there.“ You chuckled. Being royalty made you a master of lies sometimes „Twi‘ku still wants you on his doorstep.“ He gave a dirty grin. „You still work for that half-rotten idiot with bad rates? Moff Gideon would pay you so much more, I mean he‘s the source.“ „Either would pay me enough to retire if I deliver you.“ „Well, would be against the code of any guild.“ „Huh?“ „Pregnant women aren‘t allowed to be hunted.“ With a sweet grin you watched him realize the information you had just dropped and frown, enough distracted time to run one of your knives through his throat. He grabbed after you, getting out his vibroblade, but you had a gun trained on him in return, stepping on his lung and taking out the knife. „Traitor!“ You pulled the trigger and burned a hole through his heart. Two more men were running at you, one got a blastershot to the throat and the other got your new staff punched over the head.

You looked up to see people around the market hiding behind stuff, before hearing a saber lighting up behind you. „It‘s nice to see you alone for once.“ Moff Gideon. You were dead. You were so damn dead. „What do you want from me?“ you growled and heard him chuckle. „Not much, you just took something from me that you can‘t give back.“ „My brother killing your daughter isn‘t something that involves me!“ „No, but I overheard you are with child, so we might as well call it even.“ He charged at you with his dark saber, but just before it could hit you there was something big landing between you both.

„Nobody hurts my child.“ You heard his possessive and protective voice. „Oh, how sweet.“ He attacked Din ruthlessly, making you both step back further and further. Troopers came at you from left and right and you took out the second weapon you stole from Din, shooting left and right while leaned against his back. Behind you the saber strained against Din‘s arm guards. „Give up. You won‘t win this.“ Gideon hissed at him. You heard more jetpacks land behind you. Three blue Mandalorians landed in Din‘s sight behind Moff Gideon. „You have something that‘s mine and you better give it to me.“ You heard a familiar female voice. „Bo-Katan Kryze.“ His voice was somewhere between a chuckle and an unsure shakiness. There were no living stormtroopers anymore in just seconds and the four Mandalorians closed in on Moff. His saber not working on their armor. „Any last words?“ Bo-Katan asked with a serious voice. „They‘ll never stop coming for you. For your children, your family, your friends, your religion. They will always watch.“ Din put a blaster shot through his head from a low angle, „Psycho.“

He turned around to envelope you into the safety of his arms, „Cyar‘ika!“ You were shaking and gripping onto his cape, „I‘m okay. We‘re okay.“ „You can‘t just run off like that.“ He sounded wound up, probably thinking about what would‘ve happened if he hadn‘t arrived in time. „I thought-“ „Your thoughts aren‘t the reality. You really thought I‘d tell you to get rid of your unborn child. I told you children are seen as sacred in Mandalorian culture.“ You looked behind him and got a nod from a helmetless Bo-Katan, „We‘ll get this done, go talk.“ Din tightly put his arms around you and you shot up into the sky before landing on top of a building. His hands, freed from gloves, wandered over your cheeks. „I wish you would‘ve told me. I wish so much that I could‘ve been able to tell you to stop worrying and I wish you would‘ve been able to see me jump in joy at the news. I know we don‘t talk a lot, but this was the time you should‘ve talked. If I had said something negative you still could‘ve left.“ Your lip started trembling, he was right. You were so dumb for doing this. „Hey, no no, I understand why you did it, cyare.“ His helmet touched your forehead. His hands wandered down your sides, „Can I?“ You nodded and felt his hand wander over the hardened skin on your lower belly. He went on his knees before you, hands on your hips before they wandered to his helmet. „Din, no.“ You whispered and heard the hiss. „I thought about this for a long time. There is not one way, there are multiple ways that all have the same core. Look at Bo-Katan, Boba, all these people we met. I grew up in a version of this religion that doesn’t work for me anymore, I don‘t want that to be our child's life too. I want to live it our way.“ And with that the helmet came off. „They are gone, no one can hurt you two and Grogu anymore.“ „But the Empire.“ „We‘ll deal with it.“ The helmet went down and you could finally see his face. Soft face, with harsh features, smiling, „Besides. You looked pretty hot fighting off those idiots.“ „Wait till I break your hand while delivering the child.“ You chuckled with tears streaming down your face. He was so beautiful, so gentle. His nose pressed against your belly, his grip on your hips tightening just enough for you to feel even safer. „Where‘s Grogu?“ „On the ship, probably eating all the supplies.“ You both chuckled and enjoyed the moment for a while longer. „I can‘t wait to meet you, ad‘ika,“ he whispered to your unborn baby. There was so much love in his eyes that you started crying again. „Oh, cyare.“ He took your face in his hands with a caring frown on his face. „Don‘t mind me, just hormones.“ You chuckled to lighten up the situation. „My riduur.“ His bare forehead met yours. „Huh?“ „It- It means partner.“ He said it with such an innocent unsureness that you had to whisper a small, „Oh, baby.“ „I‘ll open up to you more, yeah? We‘ll find a good planet to stay.“ „I like this one so much.“ „I know, cyar‘ika. But maybe we should go to Sorgan for a while before coming back here. Grogu will have children to play with and you will be able to relax.“ His thumbs still caressed your cheeks. „Okay, my knight in shining armor.“ You smiled and kissed his nose, before taking his helmet and putting it back on his head.

You flew back to where you had fought, finding Bo-Katan with the dark saber. „I can rule over Mandalore again and you both are more than welcome there once it‘s done.“ She sent you both a smile. „We might take you up on that.“ You smiled back at her. „We‘ll clean this up and make sure nobody else is hunting for your children. We owe you for finally having this in our hands.“ She held up the saber. „Thank you,“ Din said sincerely and nodded before you said your goodbyes and went back to the ship.

You found Grogu arms deep in a jar of nectar. „Oh Grogu.“ You giggled and he turned around with his signature coo, ears falling at being caught. „It‘s alright, but don‘t do it again. You wanna see your dada‘s face?“ You asked picking him up, cleaning him with something from one of your bags. His eyes got wider and his ears perked. You let down both your bags and the cloak before turning around to Din. „Ready?“ You smiled and he nodded before taking off his helmet. The child gasped and reached for his face, so you held him up to it. He babbled while touching all over his face, Din chuckling and intently listening. Had he always looked like that beneath the helmet when talking to Grogu? „Dada.“ His and your eyes widened at that. You turned Grogu around to look at you and praised him, „Good boy, you love your dada so much, don‘t you?“ A tiny giggle came from his body before he wiggled again. „You wanna say hello to your sibling?“ Another squeak. You sat down on the floor, so did Din while also losing some parts of his armor. He watched as the child put his hands on your belly and closed his eyes, you felt the gentle tingle again. His tiny green nose nuzzled into your skin right where he felt his sibling through the force. „You‘ll see it in a couple months.“ You smiled down at Grogu and gently touched his ears. He could sense that good things happened. That you both weren‘t as worried as you usually were. „Let‘s go to Sorgan and meet the children you like playing with, yeah?“ Another happy squeak came from the green child. „Ner aliit.“ Din murmured softly. You understood without asking. You were his family now and he was yours.

___

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