#what would you get mason for Valentine's Day?

[writer-of-various]

Emilia: This Valentine's Day just has to be perfect.

Woods, still in his boxers and robe: Wait, today's Valentine's Day? Shit– I forgot to get Alex something.

Woods, runs out of the house:

Hudson, walking in: Out of all the days, I had to see Frank run out half naked–

Adler, amused: He's also stealing your car.

[siriuslylantsov]

afterglow

pairing: joel miller x reader

description: in which, you spend an evening with joel on valentines day.

tags: MDNI! smut and fluff, established relationship, jackson!joel, fem!reader, sickeningly cute, so so much kissing, soft!joel (but hes also kinda dirty, i can't help myself), age gap (it was thought about when writing but it's not explicitly stated so imagine whatever), oral (f receiving, munch joel!! everyone cheered), fingering, unprotected piv (he pulls out), soft!dom joel kinda, aftercare, r and j's relationship is new but its implied that she already has a close relationship with ellie.

a/n: happy valentines day cuties!!! my gift to you. this started off super cute and soft and then two thirds of it became smut, idk where that came from. anywho, happy reading!!

wc: 3k

“hi darlin’,” joel says as you open the door. 

the early evening sun casts a soft orange glow over the side of face, complementing his complexion perfectly. a shy, crooked smile tugs at his lips, the dimple on his right cheek deepening. one arm is folded behind him, holding something from your view and the other is planted against the frame of your door.

“hi baby,” you reply, giggling as you step forward to kiss him.

he accepts your lips eagerly, using the hidden arm to curl around your waist. you hear the faint crinkle of paper against your back. you hum sweetly into the kiss, pulling away to see what he’s got for you. a small bouquet appears between your bodies–a humble bunch of white and purple flowers that could handle growing in the cold weather, along with some that you suspect the gardeners had a role in providing. 

“maria went on patrol with me today and helped me pick some o’ these out,” he explains, watching you toy with a lilac petal of a flower he can't be damned to remember the name of. “d’ya like em?”

your fingers rake softly through his beard, coaxing his gaze upward until his eyes meet yours. tears gather at your waterline, and joel should probably be alarmed—but he’s grown used to it, having been there for so many of your firsts. apparently, getting flowers was one of them too.

“i’ve never got flowers before,” you admit in a hushed whisper, sickening adoration pooling into your body, making you feel warm all over despite the cold air that sneaks its way into your house.

joel takes note of the wind picking up and guides you inside, a solid hand at the small of your back. he takes your dazed figure all the way to the kitchen, grinning amusedly at how you continue to admire the bouquet. he looks through your cabinets for something tall enough, settling when he finds a mason jar that would be perfect. 

“i really like these, joel.” you smile up at him when he's in front of you again. he's holding his hand out expectantly and the jar filled with water in the opposite one. you give him the flowers with a reluctant pout, following him to the counter where he begins to set them up.

“‘m glad,” he expresses warmly, untying the ribbon that held the stems together. “damn shame i couldn't get you roses, the garden ran out pretty quick.”

you can’t help the fond smile that spreads across your face as you watch him try to organise the flowers nicely, carefully moving them around so he doesn't accidentally pull off a petal. when he's happy with his arrangement he turns back to you, neatly folding up the brown paper that wrapped the bouquet and placing it in your palm. “ellie made me promise to tell you that she helped with that so keep it in mind, i guess,” he says, nodding to the doodles of leaves that were peppered along the edges.

“noted,” you laugh, picturing her fiery, insisting nature with ease. you gotta fuckin’, i don’t know, make it pretty for her, joel. just ugh- give it to me. 

suddenly, you remember the muffins that were kept warm in the oven. you scurry over there wordlessly, causing joel to twitch confusedly. you take the tray out with quick fingers, holding a muffin out for joel. 

“it's a new recipe, cinnamon and pear,” you explain excitedly as he walks over to you. when he looks down at it, he sees you’ve managed to orchestrate two small slices of fruit to sit in a heart shape and it's awfully cute.

your eyes are trained intently on him as he takes a bite. it's instantly the best thing he's ever tasted but he chews thoughtfully for a few more seconds so it doesn't look like he's making his mind up on a whim. admittedly, he is but it's also just that good. the texture of the warm cooked pear complimenting the firm but soft spiced crumb of the muffin. he hums in approval when he swallows, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“sweetheart, this is really fuckin’ good,” he murmurs, his voice rough in appreciation as he dusts off muffin remnants that have stuck to his bottom lip. 

you beam, extremely pleased. you wait as he finishes eating. not that long, apparently, as two big bites later, it’s gone. he reaches up with his free hand and tucks a strand of loose hair behind your ear, twirling it before letting it fall.

“so about today,” he starts and you hum attentively. “thought we’d take a walk around that part of town that you like and then go feed the horses. maybe go back to mine if there's time.”

-

the walk is perfect. you swing your joined hands between your bodies, smiling to yourself while joel complains about his brother. the air is solemn, the overwhelming scent and sound of love seeping out of every house you walk by. you never thought life could be this good again or that you’d feel this good again. you owe it all to the mumblin’ grumblin’ man beside you, the one softly caressing your thumb with his own, bringing it up to his mouth so he can kiss the back of your hand. 

when you reach the stables, joel pulls out the carrots he had tucked away in his large jacket pocket. (you’d made a detour at the greenhouse before coming here.) you divide the carrots into equal pieces for the animals, setting aside an extra chunk for a horse you remember ellie being particularly fond of–shimmer, if you recall correctly. 

joel takes in the sight, endearing eyes unable to part from you. your hand reaching out calmly, vegetable centred in your palm, you bring it to the horse's mouths, giggling when their tongues peek out and tickle you. he crowds in behind you, his arms wrapping around your middle. you squirm a little when he tilts to press a kiss to your neck, claiming his lips are cold. 

“well, let me warm ‘em up, sweetheart.”

-

you make it to joel's front door well after sundown, stars shining like diamonds spilled across the night sky. you make a mental note to go stargazing with him and ellie, if she wants, when the weather gets warmer. for now, you just want to be inside. 

“she’s with her friend dina tonight,” joel answers your unasked, looming question. you bite back the smile that the words ‘friend’ and ‘dina’ prompt, knowing a lot more than joel about his kids’ relationship status. she's just waiting for the right time.

you turn around to him, a mischievous glint in your eyes. “so what you’re saying,” you muse lightly. “is that we have the place to ourselves.”

“mhm,” he smirks.

you twist the door open, often left unlocked, and let yourself through. “well then. come on in, mr. miller.”

he trails behind you up the steps, fingers lacing with yours. you walk into his room with a quiet sigh, taking off your shoes and watching as he follows suit. you love his room, a cultivation of who he is within four walls. you switch on the lamp on his bedside table, refraining from turning the main light so a faint glow encompasses the room, just enough to see the softness in his beautiful brown eyes.

“kiss me?”

he clicks his teeth before lowering his lips to yours, “don’t have to ask.”

his moustache tickles your upper lip and the coarse hair of his beard grazes your chin lightly, but it's not irritating. you welcome the sensation, it being a feature of his that you adore so dearly. proving this, your nails scratch the patch of grey at his jaw. 

his tongue slips out, tracing the seam of your lips. a low sound escapes you when you grant him entrance, licking into your mouth languidly. there's no rush, there never is. it's a luxury that three months ago you would’ve laughed at, disbelief evident.

his hands find your waist, pulling your hips flush together. he slips off your jacket and greedily tugs at the hem of your shirt. you appease by lifting your arms. he reaches behind you when he gets your shirt off, deftly unclasping your bra. he does this all while kissing you, but when he finally gets your top half bare, he pulls away. to look.

“beautiful,” he exhales a quick, amazed breath that whooshes past his lips. he admires you unabashedly, trailing his hands up your sides and down your front. he nudges you gently, guiding you onto the bed, his frame looming over yours as you sit down. 

you look up at him with dopey, half-lidded eyes, sneaking eager hands under his flannel and undershirt. your fingers trace over his skin, pressing into the soft warmth of his stomach, his body heat sinking into your palms. “back at ya, cowboy."

he takes this as a sign to peel off his layers, pulling them off with ease and adding them to the pile of discarded clothes. you spend a moment gaping at his torso before he lowers himself on top of you, dragging his lips up your neck as he does so. you whine when he begins sucking at your pulse point, teeth scraping your skin every so often. his kisses go lower and lower as he toys with the button of your jeans. 

he kisses at your belly, lips catching on the exposed skin of your hips, then upper thighs as he slowly pulls your jeans and underwear down, purposefully avoiding where you need him most. he strips off his pants and boxers and nudges for you to scoot up the bed. you sink into the pile of pillows, joel not far behind as he sits bracketed by your thighs. he runs his hands up and down them, calloused fingertips caressing your skin, squeezing in intervals and leaning down to kiss them, kiss your knees and your calves.

“joel, please,” you whisper, growing a little antsy, his hands all over your body aren't helping. 

“impatient,” he tuts, but there's no real reprimand in his voice. “jus’ let me take my time with you.”

“will you at least come up here and kiss me while you're at it?” 

he smiles, “what’d i tell ya?”

“don't have to-” your poor impression of his southern drawl gets cut off by his lips on yours. you sigh dreamily into the kiss; you'll never get used to that feeling. his hand cradles your jaw, tilting it to deepen this kiss. you pull his bottom lip between your teeth, sucking it into your mouth. 

a needy sound rumbles in the back of his throat, and with a reluctant pull, he breaks away, shifting back to the space between your legs. he's lying on his stomach, cheek pressed against your inner thigh as he waits for your approval. when you nod, he dives in, no time to waste.

he licks a fat stripe between your folds, causing you to cry out. he hooks an arm over your hips to cease your writhing. you could say joel miller eats you out like a man starved, but right now, it's more like a savoured meal, slow and leisurely in its pace. he takes his time, measured strokes of tongue that are assuredly making you feel all the right kinds of ways. you thread your fingers through his hair, so soft, tugging lightly and he hums. 

you dare to spare a glance down. it's deadly–him with his mouth attached to you like a vice and eyes staring up at you, decidedly looking like he belongs there. you want to look away but the sight is so enticing. 

“baby, more,” you ask breathlessly. “please.”

“yeah?” he sounds equally out of breath, tracing a middle and ring finger around your entrance. “this what you want?”

you nod pathetically with a meek “yes.”

he pushes in slowly, met with no resistance. he finds that spot fast, pressing his curled fingers up. his fingers are longer and thicker than yours, reaching places you’d never been able to. he persistently rubs up, pulling out a little only to go back fast, just the way you like. all the while, he does this thing with his tongue–god, that tongue–where he flicks it from side to side over your clit, flattening it when needed, and it is earth-shattering. 

that well-known feeling starts to build and you repeatedly tug at joel's hair, mewling softly, trying to signal him. he’d already figured you were close, but still, he nods. he lifts his head to see you, his thumb replacing his tongue. 

“c’mon, sweetheart. give it to me,” he urges you on, kissing your hip bone with slick wet lips and his fingers working fervently like it's the most important thing in the world. joel would argue that right now, it is. “know you want to.”

“joel, yes, oh fuck-” you keen, shuddering violently as you finish. he keeps going, working you through it, lapping up the mess when his fingers slip out. he can't get enough of you. you weakly push at his head, “baby, enough. s’too much.”

suddenly, he's on top of you again, rubbing a clean hand over your hair. “okay, okay,” he coos, his voice low and lulling. he presses gentle pecks to your neck, making his way back up to your lips. you kiss him again, more sluggish than previously, whimpering when you taste yourself on him. fuck, you need him. 

you carefully drift a hand between your bodies, curling your fingers around his length. he hisses, inhaling a sharp breath. “shit, are you sure-”

you press him against you, guiding his tip to your slit. “fuck me, joel,” you whisper, using your other hand to hold his face.

that's all he needs to hear before he starts sinking into you, simultaneously groaning as he does. he curses low, though it sounds and looks more like a whine when you see the way his face has twisted up in pleasure when his hips are flush with yours. you feel addictively full, so you hug your arms around his shoulders to prolong the moment. he buries his head in your neck, breathing shallowly as you flutter around him.

“gotta move angel, i gotta-” he gets cut off when you squeeze, nodding against his shoulder. 

he thrusts greedily, pulling out almost fully until he somehow goes in deeper. it’s not fast but it’s not slow either, just enough that it leaves you reeling when he draws his hips back. the stretch of him is something you feel you won't get used to, it only just borders on pain that makes it feel deliriously good. all you can offer him are broken gasps as you find purchase on his back with your nails, digging into the flesh. 

“fuck you feel good, so so good,” he croons, his voice is soft, breathy, as he presses a lingering kiss to your neck, the words barely a whisper between your bodies. “can't believe you’re mine, this perfect fuckin’ body, perfect fuckin' girl.”

maybe it's the wrecked rasp to his voice or the way the base of his dick rubs against you just right but the high builds fast, record time even. you squeeze around him frantically, mouthing sloppily at his shoulder. 

“yeah?” he pants, lifting his head so he can look at you again, you’ve got the sense that he likes to watch. you like him watching you. “gonna give me another one? gonna cum for me?”

“mhm,” you hum, teetering on a sob as he starts fucking you harder, a determined look in his eyes. your face falls sideways into the arm that joel had pressed beside your head “oh god, ohgod-”

“there you go. good girl,” he gushes warmly as you finish. he speeds up urgently, letting your climax be the catalyst of his own, chasing something just out of reach. you pull his face to yours with desperate hands, clinging to him, needing to kiss him. his lips brush over yours messily, not quite kissing you and it drives you crazy. he cums with one more strong thrust, groaning loudly into your open mouth as he pulls out and spills over your stomach.

he slumps on you, heavy, as he comes to, smearing stickiness all over but you find that you don’t care much. you cradle the back of his head with gentle hands, murmuring sweet things. you can feel his soft exhales on your collarbone, sighing as you weave your fingers between his strands. his heart races against your own, almost in sync. 

the two of you stay like that for a moment longer as everything slows down. nothing else matters apart from the silvery glow of moonlight filtering through his sheer curtains, spilling in revered ribbons across the floor, or the soft, grounding weight of his body on top of yours. his fingers trace the skin within reach, absentminded circles over your hip bones, lines beneath the curve of your breast. 

eventually, he rolls off you, getting the sense that some of your limbs might be going numb. in the midst of your post-orgasmic haze, you don’t realise that he leaves, returning with a damp towel to clean you up. he wipes you up swiftly, murmuring a hushed sorry when you squirm away and joins you under the covers.

he pulls you into his side, letting you tuck yourself under his arm. he presses a kiss to your temple. everything is so serene you want to cry. your body has other plans for you when the dregs of sleep start to claw at your worn-down edges. joel feels the slow flutter of your eyelashes on his chest and he begins to rub a gentle hand over your back, attempting to coax you further. sleep offers its solace, and joel’s steady presence pulls you under, silently promising to keep you warm. 

before you drift off though, you hear him–unbearably soft, whispering against your forehead.

“happy valentine's day, angel girl.”

reblogs and replies are appreciated :) | m.list

[itsmemuffy]

Oh, Lover Boy

♡27 Days of Love: A Valentines Series (x)♡

Day One: A Secret Admirer

Contents: Logan Howlett x fem reader, pure fluff, reader is implied to be bisexual

You trotted down the quiet halls to your classroom. The sun had risen just enough to illuminate your surroundings with hazy rays of light. It was one of those slow, easy mornings when it served no purpose to be in a rush.

Skipping a hot morning meal in favor of a breakfast bar, you were setting up earlier than all the other professors. All the others except for Logan, that is. It was typical for him to be up before everyone else, savoring the quiet dawn.

Logan stood facing the hall leaning back on his desk. The hot mug of coffee in his hand was strong enough to fill the surrounding air with its toasty, bitter aroma.

He spotted you passing by his classroom door, greeting you with a wave and a lazy grin. You only smiled in response, the both of you in unspoken agreement not to break the morning silence just yet.

After you enter your class and open the blinds, you notice something you don't immediately recognize on your desk. On it sat a modest bouquet arranged in a glass mason jar- red and pink carnations grouped with clusters of baby's breath.

Beside the makeshift vase sat a plain piece of folded cardstock. Within the card was transcribed;

For the sweetest girl.

I could eat you right up.

You repeatedly turn the card over in your hands, attempting to process what was happening. In your time here, you have received the occasional flowers. Once or twice for teacher appreciation day or to send you well wishes after getting injured on a mission. Never with a note attached like that.

One thing that immediately stood out to you was how... nice the handwriting was. Definetly nicer than what you saw on a daily basis grading worksheets. The cursive on the note was neat and old-fashioned. Every dip and curve connecting the letters appeared to be penned out with care, deliberate but posessing minimal embellishment or frills.

The list of potential suspects that may be behind this was admittedly short. The night previous you stayed up grading papers until a late hour. Not to mention how early you had arrived today. It could only of been from someone within the mansion.

You cancel out everyone already in a relationship. Oh god, unless Jean and Scott need a third... And then you rule out some less likely contenders. It's probably not Charles... right?

Now you analyze the most likely suitors. Did all those times Ororo put a hand on the small of your back mean something? Was there an alterior motive when Kurt asked you to join him on his yoga sessions? You stand there driving yourself crazy with these thoughts until the morning bell chimes, signaling students to start rolling in to class.

To say you were flustered would be an understatement. The warmth in your chest persisted throughout your lessons. You couldn't tell whether to be flattered or embarassed.

The past couple of years you had shifted your focus away from romance, dedicating your life to help build a community for your fellow mutants. February had become just another month. Being the object of a secret affection was not something you were prepared for.

It was all you could think about, and you couldn't look any of your colleagues in the face while not knowing who left those flowers. After you dismiss your students for lunch, you cook up a scheme to get to the bottom of this. Your plan of action was to visit each class in the hall, peeking at the chalkboards and comparing the handwriting to the one on your note.

You start with the room adjacent to your own. On the board, Ororo had written out an introduction on the ecology unit she had just begun with her students. Unfortunately the letters were too small and close together. Decoratave loops gave her writing a regal effect- beautiful, just like her. Unfortunately, not a match.

One door over brought you to Kurt's drama class. His scribe was much more loose and relaxed than the mystery candidate or Storm's. Something about his handwriting was quite adorable. You find yourself getting sucked in reading pointers he left on Shakespearean tragedies before moving on.

You encounter an issue with your strategy when you find Logan's classroom still occupied by its professor. He sat as his desk doting over a stack of essays on the revolutionary war. To make matters even worse, his chalkboard was blank- freshly wiped down and ready to teach the next group of students.

So caught up in thought, you couldn't have realized you were awkwardly standing in his doorway for quite some time. A rough, easy voice spoke out to you and snapped you out of it.

"Can I help you?" Logan locked eyes with you.

"Oh, I uhh..." You wrung your hands as you made up an excuse, "I was wondering if... you had any spare clipboards? I can't seem to locate mine."

"Clipboards?" He scoffed, but his tone was softer than what was usual for him. You felt a wave of embarrassment crash over you. "Yeah, think I got one in one these drawers."

Logan turned to his desk and started digging for your requested item. He rummaged through piles of probably-dead pens and junk he never uses. You slowly step forward until you stand right behind him.

You leaned in closer, trying to peek over his shoulder discreetly. Close enough to smell the stale tobacco that clung to his jacket. Underneath you picked up the scent of the woodsy cologne he always wore. He never sprayed too much, using just enough where you could only sense it in intimate proximity.

You shift your weight to one foot to keep your balance as you lean forward. Suddenly, the bottom of your shoe loses traction with the floor beneath and you slide into his desk. You catch yourself on the surface of the wood with your arm.

Logan jolts as your hand slams in front on him. "What's the hold up, bub?" You picked up the annoyance in his voice and immediately wanted to dig a hole to bury yourself in.

"Oh, I was just trying to see if..." Fuck. The last thing you wanted to do was embarass yourself further. "Nevermind, it's nothing."

He takes your wrist within his grasp, touch much more gentle than you anticipated. "Are ya going to tell me why the hell you're acting so weird?"

You were now within his hold facing him, closer than you think you've ever been to Logan. Your hands crane as your not quite sure where to put them. He lets your wrist go to hold onto your arm.

"It's nothing..." your eyes dart trying to avoid his gaze. "It's... nevermind."

"Can't be nothin' if it's got ya actin' so jumpy." His breath is fanning the strands of hair dangling over your face.

"Well, someone left me flowers on my desk this morning." He nods in response. "And I was trying to figure out who they were from by the writing on the note." He nods again, like a light bulb went off over his head.

"Ah," Logan tsks. He steps forward and your hands in front of you naturally fall on his chest. "Didja like 'em, sweet girl?"

Your breath caught in your throat as he brings his free hand to lift your chin to meet his gaze. His pupils were so dark and wide you could fall into them, but his expression was relaxed.

Logan was now the center of gravity and you were falling into him. Soft, thin lips and rough stubble had you in his orbit. Your mouth goes slack and he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his hand on your chin traveling to cup your cheek. You never had a kiss that took your breath away quite like this. By the time he pulls back to look at you, you are already desperate for more.

"Figured ya would."

[mountttmase]

Just For Us

Note - happy valentines pookies 🩷 I’ve been sitting on this one for a while so I hope you like it 😘 thank you to @saltyheartnightmare for always providing me with ideas and letting me run with them 😂 feedback would be appreciated xoxo

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 6k

Warnings - fluff and angst

Another week over you told yourself as you shut your laptop down. Sighing as your eyes fell to the window that overlooked the garden next to you but it was pitch back outside and all you could see was your own reflection staring back at you. A tired and grumpy version of you that you were starting to not recognise.

You hadn't heard anything going on in the house, the time just ticking past 5pm and you knew you were still all alone in here. The thought of walking out of your home office into a dark and empty home upset you more than it should have, but then again everything was upsetting you at the moment.

Mason had promised he’d be here, letting you know that training would be over around 3pm and he’d make sure to get home at a reasonable time so you could spend your first valentines living under the same roof together, but once again he was nowhere to be seen.

You got why he was always in late, he was almost done with his recovery and had been staying later most evenings in order to get himself into a good place but you missed him and with everything else going on in your life right now all you wanted to was to be wrapped up in the arms of the man you loved.

You hadn't lived with Mason long, moving in at the end of November so you were approaching the three month mark but you felt like everything had taken a downturn for you since then. It was nothing to do with Mason himself, he was a dream most of the time and was looking after you just like he’d promised but it was everything you’d left home that was bringing you down.

Manchester was so far from everything you knew, having grown up in London you never envisaged living so far away when you had everything you needed right there but there was one thing your favourite city didn’t have anymore, and that was the boy you were in love with.

It wasn’t often you thought back to how you first met Mason, but since it was valentines day and you were in your feels a bit you let your mind wander back to that cold but sunny morning. It was your favourite type of weather on your favourite day of the year, pumpkin picking with your best friend, and as you reached for the last wheelbarrow your hand brushed against someone else’s as they did the same.

‘Oh shit, sorry. You take it, I can wait’ you heard, turning to your right to see quite possibly the most beautiful smile you’d ever seen and the sight of him filled you with nerves.

‘Oh n-no please you have it’ you stuttered, your face warming as your heart threatened to beat out of your chest but you could see the tops of his cheeks turning pink too and you thought he looked adorable.

‘It’s fine’ he laughed, motioning for you to take it but you knew you’d mess up somehow now if you had to try and get it out in front of him and you weren’t up for embarrassing yourself whilst he watched on.

‘No please, I’m not even sure I know how to use this thing properly and I’ll just end up taking someone’s legs out’ you joked and as you both shared a giggle, a worker came with a new batch of clean ones.

‘Here let me grab you one, these look smaller’ he nodded as he walked over to get one for you and you used the time he was facing away from you to give him a once over. You most definitely liked what you saw and as he turned back to face you, you wondered if he’d caught you staring at his bum. You gave him a warm smile though as he placed it in front of you but you were trying to stall as you still felt awkward pushing it in front of him.

‘Thank you…’

‘I’m Mason’ he smiled, nodding his head shyly before he gave you a look as if to silently ask what your name was and you had to swallow a nervous lump before you told him.

‘Y/n’

‘Well y/n, if you see me running away from you please don’t take any offence, I’m just protecting my ankles’ he joked and you covered your mouth with your hand as you laughed at his silly joke.

‘I’ll keep that in mind’

‘Mase? You coming’ you heard, looking over to a woman with two kids in tow and you felt yourself deflate. Of course he wasn’t single, look at him, and as he called over that he wouldn’t be a second you kept your eyes on the floor.

‘Sorry I best get going, I don’t wanna upset the nieces’ he laughed and your eyes flashed up to meet his. Relief ripping through you at the knowledge that was presumably his sister. ‘See you out there?’

‘I hope so’ you whispered. Your answer taking him by surprise a bit as his blush deepened but you just just picked up your wheelbarrow and went in search of your bestie so you could crack on with your day.

It was like you couldn’t get away from each other, him joining the line behind you for food, your eyes constantly catching as you browsed the little pumpkins in the wooden crates and once you’d made it out into the main field it felt like he was following you. Always in the same section and your friend had seemingly picked up on the way you kept looking at each other and would steer your wheelbarrow in his direction.

It was fun watching him play with the two little girls, posing for pictures with them and helping them pick out ones for them to carve and he looked as though he was having as much fun as them. Not caring how goofy or silly he looked, he just wanted to make them smile and from the constant giggles it was clearly working.

‘You need a hand with that one?’ You suddenly heard from behind you. Mason's voice shocking you slightly but as he brushed up next to you and you could tell he was looking at the same pumpkin you were.

‘Do you think it’s too big?’ You asked and you knew it was a stupid question. It was one of the biggest ones in the whole field but it was perfect and you just needed one person to tell you it was okay to have.

‘Nah, you need to measure pumpkins with your heart’ he told sincerely. ‘If you want it, I’d say get it’

‘You know what, you’re right. I’m having it’

‘Here let me’ he offered. Picking it up effortlessly and placing it in your wheelbarrow for you before dusting himself off as he was now covered in dirt be he didn’t seem to mind.

He stayed with you for a bit as you spoke. His sister had taken the girls to the loo so he had a few minutes spare and he started off by asking if you’d taken anyone’s legs out yet. Seeming dissatisfied when you told him no but there was always time and you were lucky enough to see that heartbreaking smile of his again as he laughed before he caught sight of the girls coming back.

‘You’re really good with them’ you told him honestly and you could see him getting shy again as he laughed nervously.

‘I don’t live round this way anymore so I like to make it count when I’m here’ he told you and you wondered how far away he was now. You knew you wouldn’t get to ask or find out though, your bestie was standing like a lemon a few steps away as she pretended to look at the pumpkins and with his family coming back over you presumed you’d be torn apart again but before he returned to them he faced you a little more ‘Listen, at the risk of sounding like a crazy person, I took a picture of you earlier and I was wondering if I could send it you?’

‘You what?’ You laughed, watching his cheeks redden more than you’d ever seen to the point the bridge of his nose was also glowing.

‘Sorry, I saw you posing for some your friend was taking and I just thought you looked nice and wondered if you’d want a more candid one’ he mumbled shyly. ‘Shit, sorry I shouldn’t have said anything. I can’t delete it if you-‘

‘I guess I should give you my number then’ you whispered with a smile, holding your hand out for him to place his phone in and the look of relief that washed over his face made you chuckle.

As soon as you handed it back he had to go but you knew it was coming so you bid him a quick goodbye and not even five minutes later you felt your phone buzz in your pocket

It was a fairly brazen comment from you, but it seemed to do the trick and the pair of you were messaging for the rest of the day and well into the night. All tucked up in bed later as you giggled into your pillow and when you got onto the topic of where he lived now, since he’d mentioned not being here anymore, things took a bit of a turn.

You’d had no idea he was a footballer, you had never met one in your life and had no idea what it even all meant but he told you he didn’t want you to think of him as any different than you had done earlier. He was still the same guy, he just has a slightly strange job compared to the average person.

He was right though, coming across to you as just like any normal guy and as the weeks passed you could feel yourself starting to slip under his spell. It was never your intention to speak to someone who lived so far away and you knew that seeing him again would be difficult, even if he wanted to see you anyway, but you couldn’t help your feelings towards him no matter how much you told yourself nothing would amount to anything.

You didn’t expect him to go in fully and dress up exactly like him but when he showed you his onesie on face time his enthusiasm excited you. You’d never had a boy to do a couples costume with before and you weren’t even sure he that’s what he wanted when he was asking for costume ideas but you’d decided to shoot your shot and thankfully it had paid off.

He was staying with a friend but just as he promised, he came to get you from your house. You thought it might be awkward, the pair of you only seeing each other in person once but as soon as you saw him again it was like no time had passed. Him knocking on your door fully dressed up and you giggled as he gave you a kiss on the cheek after a big hug.

You didn’t live too far away thankfully and after 20 minutes or so in the car with him, he was pulling up to his friends house. It was unlike anything you’d seen and you tried not to let it show that you were that impressed so you just took his hand and let him lead you through. You felt awkward instantly though as you looked around as it was full of gorgeous girls in barely there outfits whilst you stood there in a big pink t-shirt and your hair in bunches. Mason picked up on you straight away though and pulled you closer to him by your waist.

‘You good?’

‘You could have told me it was that type of party’ you laughed, hiding your face in his neck but he just squeezed you and bumped the side of your head with his nose so you’d look at him.

‘What do you mean?’ He smiled, rubbing your back a little bit as he was confused and you were finding it hard to be mad at him.

‘Mason, there are girls here who look like they’ve just stepped off a runway and I look like… well this’

‘You look perfect’ he whispered, kissing your forehead gently. Your cheeks warming instantly as even though he was being pretty touchy this was the first proper bit of intimacy you’d had from him. ‘I’m not looking at what anyone else is wearing anyway’ he reassured you and you felt your face heat even more at how lovely he was being.

His hand very rarely left yours and if it did it was just so he could hold your waist or wrap his arm around you and considering it was his friends party filled with people he didn’t see too often you were surprised at how much he didn’t want to mingle. That every conversation you joined you wouldn’t stay in long as he’d ask you something and soon enough you’d be in your own world again and when you asked him why he just smiled brightly.

‘I know those boring bastards, but I don’t know you yet. Not as much as I’d like to anyway’ he teased as his eyes flickered all over you and you felt your knees go weak as he bit his lip.

He was the perfect gentleman, getting all your drinks for you and letting you know he’d look after you. Mason himself wasn’t drinking as he wasn’t allowed but you noticed all his friends were and you figured it was just because he’d promised to take you home and was making sure he could. Mason seemed like the type to have a great time without drink though however you were thankful you’d had a few to loosen you up a bit.

As the night came to an end, you both knew you didn’t want to part but as you still lived with your overbearing parents it made things difficult. It had taken you enough time to convince them to let you come here tonight so staying out all night was completely out of the question and when the house began to empty out you knew it was time.

‘I think I need the loo before we go’ you told Mason, and his sad smile told you all you needed to know.

‘I’ll show you where it is’ he smiled, taking you by the hand upstairs and when he pulled open a random door and flicked the light on you were met with a bright and airy guest bedroom. ‘Just through here. Everyone’s been using the main one so this should be cleaner’ he laughed and you popped a quick kiss on his cheek as you passed by.

Once you were out you waited for him whilst he popped in there. Having a look at yourself in the mirror to make sure you looked somewhat acceptable and he was out quicker than you thought he’d be so he caught you checking yourself out.

He was quick to come over and wrap his arms around you from behind whilst taking his phone out of his pocket to hand to you. Instructing that he wanted you to take a few photos of the pair of you together to commemorate your first Halloween but soon enough you stopped taking any pictures and he was just holding you.

‘Come on’ he huffed. Removing his arms from around your waist and you could tell he was deflated just from the sound of his voice.

‘What’s wrong?’ You asked as you turned to him and the playful pout on his face made you feel a little bit guilty.

‘I’ve been dreading this part all night’ he chuckled, pulling you into his chest now so he could hug you properly and when he tucked his head into your neck you couldn’t stop your smile. ‘Sulley doesn’t want to say goodbye to his Boo’

‘Oh Mase’

‘Stay with me tonight’ he whispered, pulling back to look at you pleadingly and you almost gave in then and there. ‘Please, boo’

‘Mase.. I can’t’ you breathed, shaking your head ever so slightly. ‘I’m sorry-‘

‘No I’m sorry, I’m being way too forward. It’s just I’m not here long and I want to spend as much time with you as I can’

‘I want that too’

‘But?’

‘My mum will kill me’ you laughed, realising how ridiculous you sounded but Mason seemed to understand and quickly popped a kiss on your cheek. ‘Maybe I could come up to Manchester soon and visit?’ You asked, shock taking over his face at what you were suggesting and you were certain yours looked the same as you hadn’t even thought about the words before they’d come out of your mouth.

‘Yeah? You’d want to’

‘Yeah of course. I’ve never been before’ you told him and the smile he sent you made your heart race. ‘I just think it might be a bit too soon for you know … all that. I’ve never-‘

‘No you’re right’ he laughed as he cut you off. ‘Sorry I’ve just been getting a bit ahead of myself I think. I don’t know if I’ve made it that obvious but I really like you’ he told you as his cheeks flushed and you knew yours were doing the exact same.

‘Really? I had no idea’ you teased but you knew you needed to be honest with him too. ‘I like you too’

It was the longest three seconds of your life. Watching his eyes flicker down to your lips as he moved closer to you and you were powerless to stop anything. Tilting your face up to meet his and before you knew it his lips were on yours.

This wasn’t like any kiss first you’d ever had before. It was slow and sexy and you both hummed into each other's mouths as his tongue brushed against yours playfully. Your heart racing in your chest as he ever so carefully moved his lips against yours and you knew you’d never be the same again after this.

‘Come on, I’ll get you home’ he whispered against your lips after you’d parted but you felt deflated instantly. You didn’t want to leave him now, not after the best first kiss you’d ever had but you knew it was the right thing to do.

‘Are you sure it’s okay? You know-‘

‘I can wait. You’re worth it’ he confirmed quietly and you didn’t realise how much you needed to hear those words. ‘I mean I got to kiss you, that's more than enough for me. I’m just being greedy really’ he winked and your heart felt lighter as you both giggled.

‘You’re right, you need to be cut off’ you joked but when he lent down to kiss you again you let him.

y/n

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y/n Happy spooky season 🧡

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masonmount wow whoever took that first one has got a great eye 👀

y/n thank you my sulley 🩵💜

Going to Manchester to see him was the beginning of the end for you. You loved it up there and you loved your time with Mason just as much to the point you’d just sob the whole way home each time you had to leave him and you knew he was always just as down as you were about it. Each time it getting harder and harder to say goodbye so when next Halloween came and Mason wanted to celebrate your first anniversary together you jumped at the chance to spend some quality time with him.

Moving to Manchester after just a year of dating was a risk, and you both definitely knew it, but when Mason brought up wanting you to move in with him at your anniversary dinner you wanted to jump at the chance. You knew in your heart you were going to be with Mason for a really long time and the thought of starting your lives together up there really excited you. Your mum took it pretty hard but she knew you’d have to leave home eventually but neither of you could have guessed it would have been so far away.

You mostly worked from home in London anyway, only needing to visit the office twice a month so after a quick chat with your manager about different options, she told you keeping you was more important and that working in Manchester would be no different than London so she was happy for you to make the move.

Mason seemed to be the most excited. Letting you pick out any spare room you wanted to turn into your office and you picked the one at the back that overlooked the garden. The main reason being that in the summer you knew you’d be able to watch him training out of the window, but you told him it was because it was near the kitchen and downstairs loo so you didn’t have that far to walk.

It was lonely sometimes, spending all day at home on your own and when work was finally done not having anyone to talk to. At home at least your mum would be there so you could talk about your days as you fought over what to cook, but the house being empty did nothing to cure the ache of loneliness that would settle in your tummy until Mason was with you.

You hadn't been here long enough to make friends of your own and the ones you’d left behind did nothing to help you feel less lonely. Carrying on like you didn’t even exist and going to all your favourite places without you as well as new places you’d always wanted to try. You tried not to take it to heart too much as you didn’t want them to stop living their lives but you thought it was funny how as soon as you were gone they suddenly had time for all the things you wanted to do when they never had before.

Not wanting to be a grump for too much longer you quickly glanced at your phone when you were finally ready to get up. No text or update from him to let you know he was going to be home later than planned and usually it wouldn't have mattered but you thought with it being Valentine's Day he would have made a touch more effort as you were meant to be having dinner together. Your tummy hurt as your sadness migrated into every fiber of your being and you knew it wouldn’t be disappearing anytime soon.

All the lights were off when you eventually made your way out of your office. Traipsing through the silent house to the front so you could look out onto the drive, however it only upset you more to see that his car wasn’t there and suddenly you weren’t hungry anymore. Wanting nothing more than to get into bed so you could sleep this awful mood away, but there was something that stopped you as soon as you made it upstairs.

You noticed the warm glow coming from the bathroom as soon as you reached the landing. The door was ever so slightly cracked open and you knew you hadn't left it like that so the light confused you. In the end you took a few cautious steps over so you could peek around the gap and the sight before you made your heart flutter.

There was Mason, hunched over the bath as he swirled his hand around the soapy water that was topped with rose petals. The scent of your favourite bubble bath filling the air as he checked the water temperature before he was standing back up and reaching for a lighter so he could continue to light the candles he’d set up in a row on the window. Watching and waiting until he’d grabbed a fresh towel to place on the warmer until you couldn’t help but open the door a little more and step inside.

You felt instant regret as soon as you did. This was clearly meant to be a surprise for you and you’d just marched in on him but the smile he gave you after the initial shock of seeing you made your eyes sting and as your face began to crumple, he was over to you in a flash.

‘What’s wrong, boo?’ He asked softly. Hands holding the tops of your arms as you tried to wipe your eyes but it was pointless as more tears came falling seconds after.

‘I didn’t know you were h-home’ you hiccuped, sounding completely ridiculous as you broke down into sobs, but just like always he took you as you came and listened intently. ‘I t-thought you’d be late a-again’

‘Well I’m a lot later than I wanted to be’ he told you softly. ‘I only got in about five minutes ago’

‘Where’s y-your car?’

‘I got a fucking flat tire, didn’t I’ he laughed but you could tell he was pissed off underneath. ‘Had to leave it at training cause I couldn’t get anyone out to fix it and then Luke dropped me home’ he explained before his face softened again and his voice came out in just a whisper. ‘Baby, tell me what’s wrong’

‘Sorry’ you blubbed. Covering your face with your hands again so you could hide yourself and thankfully he knew not to try and make you look at him. Simply wrapping his arms around your shaking body so he could pull you into his and when you felt his lips on your forehead shushing you gently you nearly lost it again.

He always knew what you needed, and right now all you needed was a big cry whilst he held you and whispered that everything would be okay until you found enough courage to take your hands away from your face and wrap them around his body.

‘You think I can’t tell that something’s been going on with you?’ He whispered, pulling back to look at you but when he realised you weren’t budging he just rested his cheek on the top of your head with a sigh. ‘I notice everything, boo’

‘I’m sorry’ you croaked, not even too sure what you were apologising for but it just felt like the right thing to say for hiding your emotions from him.

‘Don’t say that’ he told you as he squeezed you a bit tighter but you still weren’t ready to look at him. Holding him back just as tight as he rubbed your back and you could feel the love from him pour into you. ‘You gonna tell me what’s up?’

‘I don’t know, I just feel a bit down’ you mumbled, shrugging your shoulders as you wondered what you should say to him but you realised there was no point giving him half truths. ‘I've just been a bit homesick I think, it gets lonely in this house when you’re not here and I know you’ve been working really hard to get back into the team but I thought you’d forgotten about me tonight’

‘I’m sorry’ he breathed. ‘I know I haven’t been around as much lately and I know that hasn't helped with how you’re feeling. That’s why I wanted to get home early so I could do something nice for you and I couldn't even get that right’ he laughed. ‘And I know you miss your family, I miss mine too so I know how you feel and I know I’ve been a bit wrapped up in myself but I promise I’ll make it up to you. Starting tonight, yeah?’

‘What’s all this?’ You asked, finally pulling away as you could look at him and the sympathetic look on his face almost set you off again, but Mason was quick to kiss your forehead and look at you softly again.

‘Well I thought you deserved a bit of relaxation while I cooked for us’ he confirmed. ‘Happy valentines, boo’

‘Happy valentine’s, Masey’ you smiled, reaching up to give him a soft and sweet kiss. ‘What are you making?’

‘I’m not sure yet’ he laughed. ‘Any requests?’

‘Well I was hoping you would stay with me in here, I’ve missed you’ you told him shyly. ‘We can always order food’

‘Yeah? Okay let’s do that’ he nodded shyly. ‘C’mere, let’s get you in’

Mason helped to undress you so you were ready for your bath. Kissing your skin gently as he carefully removed each piece of clothing and helped you into the perfectly warm water as you felt all your troubles melt away into the bubbles.

He happily sat on the floor next to you as you chatted away and you finally opened up to him about how your friends had been acting with you lately as well as everything else you’d already mentioned. He sympathised with you as he sometimes felt that way himself and apologised for neglecting you for the last few weeks.

‘Come get in with me?’ You asked after 15 minutes or so, watching his eyebrows raise in shock as his cheeks turned pink but now you’d said it all you could think about was relaxing your body into his.

‘Really?’

‘Yeah why not’ you laughed. ‘I wanna feel close to you’ you pouted and you could see his blush deepening from a mile off. Watching him gently standing up so he could whip his clothes off and you shuffled down the tub a bit so he could slide in behind you.

You didn’t ask for it, but as he began to massage your shoulders you could have melted into the water. You didn’t realise how uptight and tense you were until his fingers began to work away at your knots and it felt so good a shiver ran up your spine. The warm water of your bath felt like a safe blanket lapping against you and you didn’t know what you’d done to deserve this type of treatment.

‘That okay?’ He murmured into the side of your head but it was like you could barely string a sentence together and your whole body felt like it was floating.

‘That’s perfect’ you mumbled, feeling more relaxed and loved than you had in weeks and you knew he was laughing at you as you felt his chest rumble against your back.

‘I’m not very good at this, but I’ve picked up a few tricks from having them done so often’ he laughed but soon enough his hands were traveling down your arms and holding you around your waist so he could hold you close and talk to you without any distractions. ‘So listen I need you to pack a bag tonight’ he mumbled in your ear and you turned your head to look up at him questioningly.

‘Are you kicking me out?’

‘No’ he laughed. ‘But I bet after that you could do with a proper massage, right? Well I’ve booked us into a spa for the weekend with a slightly delayed valentines dinner tomorrow night. It’s in London though so we’ll have a bit of an early start if that’s okay’’

‘I thought we weren’t making a fuss’ you whispered, your face breaking out into a smile so wide your cheeks hurt but he was looking back at you so lovingly it was like you could feel him coursing through your veins.

‘I know, but you deserve it’ he affirmed. Kissing your forehead softly as he stroked his thumbs over your skin ‘Then Sunday we’ve got lunch with your parents. I organised it the other day so I think that’s worked out pretty well’ he winked, feeling tears well in your eyes again for the millionth time that night but this time it was for a whole different reason.

‘What? Really’

‘Yes’ he nodded. ‘I knew you must have been missing them and since we’ll be down there I thought we could make the most of it’

‘Thank you’ you gulped. Reaching up to kiss him properly and it was like you were having your first kiss all over again, carefully kissing each other like you had all the time in the world.

When you were both ready to get out, Mason jumped out first to grab your towel from the heater before walking you back over to your shared bedroom to get changed. A huge bunch of red roses on the bed waiting for you and you had to tell yourself to hold it together as you’d you’d done tonight was cry.

Mason grabbed you a pair of shorts and one of his favourite comfy tops that you loved to wear for you to change into and while he was putting in your food order, you grabbed an overnight bag and began to pack.

‘Where are we going for dinner tomorrow night, Mase?’ You questioned as you fingered through some of your nicer things on your rack but you didn’t want to be overdressed if it was somewhere more casual.

‘It’s a surprise’

‘But I need to know what to pack’ you pouted, hoping you’d be able to get a little more from him than that but he seemingly didn’t want to give too much away.

‘Something nice’ he shrugged, locking his phone before standing up to join you and you placed your hands on his chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

‘Those new pjs you got me for Christmas are nice, maybe I’ll just wear those’ you teased, hoping you could taunt him into telling you and from the way he rolled his eyes you knew it was working.

‘Okay fine’ he laughed. ‘You should pack that black dress, you know the one you’ve been saving for a certain restaurant’

‘You didn’t’ you breathed, not knowing if he was just messing with you or if he’d actually got the pair of you into the restaurant you’d always wanted to try but from the nod of his head you knew he was making your dream come true. ‘Mase’

‘I know you were meant to go there with your girlfriends and I know I was meant to get you a table and never did cause I’m a rubbish boyfriend and I forgot’ he laughed, bumping his nose against yours as you both giggled before his face got serious ‘but I know they’ve been trying all the places you wanted without you so I thought we could keep this one just for us’

‘Thank you’ you pouted, reaching up to kiss him gently and he deepened it straight away. You hadn’t kissed each other like this in days and you could have quite easily taken it further but it was Mason who pulled away first much to your dismay.

‘Easy there, boo. We’ve got food on the way and there’s nowhere near enough time for me to do what I want with you’ he told you lowly, his voice thick and warm like honey and it made your insides quiver. ‘I’ll make it worth your while if you wait’

‘You always do’ you winked and you noticed how he blushed at your words.

‘Come on boo, we’ll go set the table yeah? Eat like proper humans for a change’ he laughed as he took your hand and you laughed along with him as he led you out of your room. Your mood a lot lighter than it was just over an hour ago and you couldn’t wait to finally spend your first Valentine’s Day under the same roof with the boy you loved most in the world.

y/n

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y/n quick trip home for some well needed downtime and a visit to somewhere I’ve always wanted to go with my valentine ♥️

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masonmount anything for my girl ♥️

y/n love you sm 🥰 🤭

[yoursselo]

Birthday boy

a/n: happy international mason tony mount day to all who celebrate. i love mason sooooo much and thank god he was born. he not only graces the world with his pretty face but also is the reason why i have made so many friends on here. so this is a present from me to you! i hope you guys like it. love you lots 🩷

word count: around 1k

warnings: none

It was a beautiful day in Manchester. Despite the cold weather the sky was blue, and sunlight was beaming into your and Mason’s bedroom. It was 6 a.m., and you had just woken up. Normally, you would have stayed in bed longer to get some extra sleep and cuddle with Mason, however you had a tight schedule. Today was Mason’s birthday and you wanted the day to be extra special and unforgettable for him - one filled with love, warmth, and little surprises.

To get everything done on time, you carefully slipped out of bed, making sure not to wake up Mason with your movement. Before leaving the room, you gave him a kiss on the cheek and slipped into the hoodie he had worn the night before, that still smelled like him. On tiptoes, you made your way to the living room, where you took the balloons and the garlands out of the cupboard, ready to get to work. You blew twenty-six balloons up and made sure they were all floating against the ceiling. The table was decorated with photos of Mason through his years, each of them capturing a special moment in his life. Once the decorations were set, you started making breakfast. The smell of chocolate chip pancakes filled the air and you poured his favourite tea in a mug that said “#1 Boyfriend”, which you had gotten him as a Valentine’s Day gift during the early days of your relationship.

While you prepared the surprise, Mason slowly began to wake up. His hand instinctively reached for your side of the bed, seeking some morning cuddles, only to find it cold. He frowned and wondered where you were. Confused, he got up and began to dress for his recovery session.

When he was ready, he headed to the living room entirely unaware of the surprise waiting for him. The moment he entered the room Mason froze. His eyes widened as he took in the decorations—the balloons, the photos, the garland—and then his gaze landed on you, standing there with a huge smile, holding a plate of pancakes. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY!” you said, your voice full of excitement. Before he could say anything, you rushed over to him and planted kisses all over his face. You popped a party hat on his head and walked him to the decorated table. “Surprise”, you said gazing at him with affection. “What…? You did all of this?” he asked softly. “Of course, babe! Only the best for the birthday boy. Come on, sit down. You have got pancakes waiting for you.” “This is... incredible. Thank you so much,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. He reached out to pull you into a hug, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You always know how to make me feel better.” 

As you lit a single candle on the stack of pancakes and began singing “Happy Birthday”, Mason chuckled. “Make a wish,” you said waiting for him to blow the candle out. His face lit up with a smile, one you hadn’t seen in weeks. Seeing his smile brought you so much joy that you got emotional. As he leaned forward to blow the candle out, he paused. His gaze flickered at you, as he noticed that tears were welling up in your eyes. “Hey, babe. Why are you crying?” he said gently. “I don’t know honestly. I’m just really glad you were born. I love you so much. Now blow out the candle before it burns the pancakes.” You laughed, brushing the tears away. “Oh, baby,” Mason murmured, his voice soft and full of affection. “I am the happiest when I’m with you.” 

After blowing out the candle, he started on his pancakes. You guys chatted for a bit and enjoyed your joyful morning. Once everything was finished you handed him your first present. A leather-strapped watch with an engraving of the HMS Warrior on the back, an homage to his beloved hometown of Portsmouth. Mason ran his fingers over the engraving. “I can’t believe you thought of this. You don’t know how much this means to me.” He looked up at you, his voice thick with gratitude. “I’ll treasure this forever. One day, I’ll give it to our kids.” He leaned forward, capturing your lips in a slow, tender kiss.

Shortly after your beautiful morning, Mase left for training, which meant that you had to start getting ready for the evening. You tidied everything up and transformed the living room into a cozy heaven with soft blankets and pillows. For dinner you decided to make something different – Mason’s favourite: sushi!

By the time Mason returned home, everything was set. You also had changed into a nice dress with a set of lingerie underneath as his second present. When Mase stepped inside your house his eyes lit up at the sight of the cozy setup. “Wow,” he said, shaking his head. “You really went all out, didn’t you?” “All for you,” you teased, leading him to the table.

The two of you enjoyed your meal and cuddled on the couch, watching a movie.

Later that night, after the two of you made love, you were laying l in bed wearing one of Mason’s shirts, you reached under the bed for the final present. “I have one more thing for you,” you said, handing it to him.

Mason unwrapped the gift, his brows furrowing as he pulled out what appeared to be a comic book. Instead of Spider-Man on the cover, it was a beautifully illustrated version of Mason in a superhero costume.

“What is this?” he asked, his voice filled with curiosity.

“Open it,” you urged, smiling.

As Mason flipped through the pages, his expression shifted from surprise to emotional. The comic told the story of his life, starting with his childhood in Portsmouth. It captured his early days playing football, his time at Vitesse and Derby, and his rise to fame at Chelsea. Each page was filled with vibrant details—his first goal, the Champions League win, and even some of his struggles.

When he reached the pages showing his time at Manchester United, Mason looked up at you with wide eyes. The final illustration depicted Mason standing tall in his superhero costume, with the words “To Be Continued” written in bold letters.

Mason stared at the page with teary eyes. “You did this... for me?”

You nodded, tears in your eyes. “You’re my hero, Mase. I wanted to show you how much you inspire me. You’ve faced so much, and you never give up. I wanted you to see your journey the way I see it—amazing and far from over. There’s so much more ahead for you, and I’m so glad I get to be by your side.”

Mason swallowed, his eyes brimming with tears. “I... I don’t even know what to say,” he murmured, pulling you into his arms. “Thank you. For everything. For seeing me this way. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m so grateful you’re mine.”

He kissed you deeply, his emotions pouring into the gesture. For the rest of the night, the two of you flipped through the comic together, marveling at the illustrations and reliving the memories that were captured. Finally, you both fell asleep in each other’s arms,  feeling overwhelmed with love and gratitude.

[theshypinkflower]

I GIVE ZERO SHITS IF IT'S JANUARY

I REFUSE TO WAIT ON FEBRUARY 💘

So how would valentines day go for The main four in tpof (Mason, Fox, Celia, and Derek) ? + (Matt, Sal, Rhino, Kangaroo, and YOUR VERSION OF Cain bc poopy EP cain sucks?) ♥︎

congrats i waited til february lmao

Mason (assuming you some how miraculously survive and he romances you):

Nice romantic evening in the woods together!

Enjoying the sunset, nice quiet strolls together

Of course the most stunning sketch of you and carving the two of you into little wood figurines, perfect over the fire art piece

Hearty meal fit for the two of you (cooked by none other than him)

Either the nastiest sex with his hunting knife to your throat or cuddling until he finally starts snoring (you can hear his snore for miles)

Fox:

There's gonna be a show...just saying (only fair for all his fans)

He at least gets you a gift! Something cute for you to wear or an adorable plushie for you to hold in your cell

A warm bubble bath after you (hopefully) survive his stream, he scrubs away all the blood until the water itself is red

Movies and snacks!!! He already fucked you (or at the very least got his rocks off) so the rest of the night he takes it easy with you. Besides, even a star needs a treat!

Celia:

It's a split. She's either with you or her husband trying to keep up some normalcy

Wine and talking, once the buzz finally starts kicking in so does sloppy make outs and groping

It's either sex and drunk fondling, or getting the end of her heel kicked into you

She doesn't really like Valentine's day, it ends in disappointment for her. But hey, at least she can drunkenly rant to you while she makes you shove a box of chocolates into your face

Derek:

Hell. If he's not going out with you, then sure as hell has got himself a hot date

Or he's spending the day really torturing you and making a mess

He still gets your a gift! It's lingerie (really a gift for himself)

Honestly the one time he brings in sex toys (other than to overstimulate you and humiliate you)

Matt:

What can I say? Normal Valentine's day

Dinner, gifts, kissing, all the stuff normal people do

Of course he spoils you with some dessert and chocolates <3

If he's utterly ashamed about being seen in public with you then he'll just stay at home with you

Plus he knows where to get the good champagne to celebrate

Salvatore:

Depends on who you are. His wife? Dinner, gifts, treated like a princess (of course you have to pay for all this with letting him have as many rounds as he wants with you)

Brags to all his friends that he was plans for V-day, especially the ones who don't do anything for the holiday

His whore? Yeah be lucky for him to even take you out to dinner. He's just there to do lines off you, beat you, and cum on you

Rhino (assuming you don't mind kids):

Its usually something super fun, like an amusement park or an arcade (it's mostly so his daughter can come along and not feel excluded by her dad having a date)

Still, it's fun. Nice dinner included! You all go to a sit down restaurant and eat together

Once she's put to bed and you two finally have some privacy, bro is giving the best fingering before getting freaky

He's such a gentle giant you really should marry him

Kangaroo:

Like Rhino, it's usually something fun! But it's with the intent that the both of you can enjoy it

Hatchet throwing, paintball, there's usually a competitive edge to it

Whoever wins gets to do whatever filthy act they crave that night!

It always ends with his tongue inside you, just saying

Bro is a bit TOO good with his tongue

SPEACIAL BONUS!

Cain:

The biggest romantic ever! He's serenading you with love songs, poems, he's literally like cupid! It's basically his job to be a romancer!

Valentine's is literally his favorite holiday

He's so good with words, he's all about seducing you and truly romancing you before being intimate ("making love" as he says it)

V-day isn't complete without slow dancing with you to a song you both love (something vintage and sweet)

Hurting you and being hurt is the greatest form of love and affection to him! Pain is just so much more intimate than his poems or his cards or his flowers

[holy-puckslibrary]

━ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠.

main masterlist

pairing(s) — TREVOR ZEGRAS x f!reader (established); JAMIE DRYSDALE x reader; MASON MCTAVISH x reader; trevor x jamie x mason wc — 2.2k synopsis — what better gift on your friends to bestow than the gift that keeps on giving?

note — happy valentine's day, my lovelies!! as my gift to you, i've decided to release whatever the hell this is from the archive <3 i randomly dropped this on patreon post-ficmas '24 because, per usual, i was possessed by the ghost of perpetual horniness! we know it'll happen again, so just know i am totally down to write a follow-up if there's any interest teehee! oh, and to the anons who requested some jd + tz content after the trade (rip), i hope this satisfies the craving!! (and you don't mind masey being thrown in the mix)

and with that... i’ll see myself out 🚶‍♀️

specific content warnings under the cut.

cw — everyone’s a lil bi because why not, trevor is boyfriend of the year, mason and jamie bickering over whose turn it is to munch, tz + reader are switchy and mason + jamie are bratty and subby, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), accidental edging, trevor being a cocky menace and stirring the pot, and a wee bit of a cliff-hanger bc i'm incapable of controlling myself :-) oh, and the current pet name fixation of the week! + trevor calling himself daddy (once) while being condescending to all parties lolz

“—stop getting in my way.”

"or what?"

silence.

then, an exasperated groan.

“i wouldn’t need to be in the way if you were doing it right.”

the long, drawn-out sigh you hear sounds far away, like an echo from somewhere out in the distance, but you know it's coming from behind you—directly behind you.

your boyfriend abandons the soft curves of your chest, which you vehemently protest with a petulant mewl, to massage the tension building between his eyes; if he’d known this would turn into such a headache, he never would’ve suggested this.

“clock’s running, boys. if you wanna waste your very limited time between my girl’s pretty legs bickering with each other, be my guest.”

jamie and mason exchange a glare, united in their distaste for their friend’s tone and attitude in spite of their sudden animosity toward one another.

a pretty girl could do that to a friend group.

only, you haven’t come between the trio in the way one might assume. you might’ve been the catalyst in jamie and mason’s current strife, sure, but that's where your meddling begins and ends. no, you’ve come between them in more of a physical sense, at the behest of your boyfriend and their best friend.

trevor zegras veered toward possessive—territorial, even—most days, but, tonight, he’s feeling strangely generous. it is the season of giving, after all. however, his kindness hardly felt like a gift anymore. the gesture lost its luster soon after the silky ribbon was untied and discarded... and the bitching began. charity work would be a more apt descriptor, in his humble opinion.

he’s expecting an edible arrangement from the ladies of orange county in the near future.

but if anyone deserves some compensation, it's most definitely you, and trevor has just the shiny something in mind. what was originally intended to be the crown jewel of your holiday gifts will now function as a “thank you letting my friends use you as a practice dummy” token of appreciation.

“guess we also need to teach you to share,” you huff, exhausted from the accidental edging and frustrated by trevor's shifted attention.

the worst part is that you don’t think they’re perceptive enough (or have enough experience with a woman’s body, even) to see the agony, the by-product of their inadvertent torture, smeared plainly across your dazed and dewy face. your boyfriend's best friends have unintentionally dragged you to the brink of insanity, and you're reluctantly hanging on by a fragile thread.

said boyfriend's lips caress your temple. “can’t say i blame them. with you freshly unwrapped—just out of the box—and all... i wouldn't know how to share you, either.”

eager is a nice way of putting the boys' behavior thus far, but selfish is a more befitting adjective for their uncoordinated fervor.

two interesting things to note since you were spread wide—presented—to your boyfriend’s closest friends and collegues. the first being that while jamie is enthralled by the way you clench around his lithe fingers, mason favors his mouth; and second, trevor’s harder than a rock from showering his friends with the same domineering aura usually reserved for you in the privacy of your shared bedroom.

(or, the backseat of his car. the abandoned lifeguard tower beside the pier and, on occasion, the recently refurbished dressing room.)

mason also enjoys spitting on your sensitive bits more than he’s comfortable with, the apprehension bright in his eyes. but, watching the run-off of his saliva and your syrupy arousal drip onto jamie’s fingers before both are shoved into your heat is too distracting to pay any mind to the internal chaos of unearthing a new and unforeseen kink.

what jamie lacks in skill and experience, he makes up for in enthusiasm. for all his bashfulness, jamie drysdale is not shy about finger-fucking.

momentarily sat on his haunches, mason watches with feverish intent as his friend curls your toes with the simple curl of his marriage and middle, his pinky and pointer fingers splayed wide to keep his eye on the prize, sight unimpeded by plush, silky distractions.

no bells and whistles, just diligence.

soon, watching ceases to satiate the burly man and mason slips his own thumb into the mix. with his lips or his tongue—or his fingers, it now seems—mason mctavish is obsessed with your clit.

trevor shoots him a knowing wink; that's his favorite part, too. never do you make prettier sounds than when you’re having that special, highly-responsive bundle tended to. fingers, tongue, trevor's thigh... it doesn't matter, you fall apart all the same.

mason nudges jamie to one side and, much to your surprise, he goes without a fight this time, still stroking you closer and closer to the summit.

with his greater access, mason leans down. his nose splits duties with his thumb as he places wet, open-mouth kisses on your inner thighs, mons pubis, and, finally, the coveted pearl throbbing for affection. his mouth wraps around the little bud before pausing. he looks up for approval.

from trevor.

with the dip of his chin and a peck to your balmy cheek, your boyfriend encourages his best friend to suck on his girlfriend's clit.

mason needs no further coaxing. he alternates between suction and kitten-licks; his tongue was beginning to feel left out. all the while, jamie’s devoted fingers keep you pleasantly teetering on the end.

it's amazing the difference time and a little scolding can make.

“i think you’re enjoying this a little too much, bunny.”

“—m’sorry,” you whimper.

his warm, familiar chuckle fills your ear as he strokes your cheek. “i’m only teasing. you know how much i love watching you get all worked up. and, this way, i get to sit back and enjoy the view while they do all the dirty work.”

your eyes roll back, and his amusement grows louder.

“maybe, we’ll do this again? i wonder how fast they could get you off when they already know how the tricks.”

a raw, guttural sound claws past your lips.

trevor growls into your neck between love-bites. “you’d like that, wouldn’t you, greedy girl? is my mouth not enough for you—y’need my friends’ too? such a slutty little bunny i have..."

"no—only want y-you."

it comes out in a few, demure hiccups, the clarity of your protest impeded by those and the frantic shaking of your head.

your boyfriend can't help but twist your mind when you're like this, too weak and preoccupied by pleasure to give him any lip. his brat's gone sweet, fully subdued. and now he can have a little fun.

“—i know, i know. no need to get all worked up over nothing, silly girl. but it wouldn't matter much if you did, though, right?" the hand cradling your chin moves your head in agreement; he knows you're too far gone—too fucked out, to function. "no, it wouldn't because daddy doesn't share his toys. he needs you all to himself."

in this moment, you aren't sure if trevor loves or loathes you.

“lost your voice, bunny? you’re strangely quiet for a slut i know is close. i can hear it, and i know you can too. we all know you're fucking soaked. go on, don't be shy. i think their good behavior has earned them some praise, hm? doin' so good at following my directions—almost as obedient as you are, pretty thing. be sweet, then you can cum all you want."

his words, coupled with the overstimulation between your bent and parted knees, send your brain down a cloudy, all-consuming spiral. too overwhelmed by the boys kneeling at your altar, you can hardly string together cohesive thoughts, let alone speak adequate praise for their efforts.

...as if trevor expected anything out of your mouth other than garbled, pathetic mumbling anyway.

not to mention, jamie found the spot that makes you see stars on the ceiling as his best friend was busy whispering filth into your ear, and he's been bullying it with his deft fingers—three of them now, buried down to the knuckle. he gives it a short, purposeful rub just to show off his treasure.

you shriek and buck your hips into mason's waiting mouth. as his head dips back down to nestle against you, the angle of jamie's fingers changes and your vision blurs just a tad.

trevor's amusement thunders in your ears as he keeps you from shying away from the new sensation, an arm looped around your waist keeping you tight to his bare chest. and good thing, too, seeing as mason's tongue slips in between jamie's fingers not a second later.

they're right and truly pleasuring you now, and you can't wait a second more.

you surrender.

and, as promised, you show them what real moans sound like from a woman—not that fake shit they subject you and trevor to through the walls on a semi-regular basis.

the sounds of you ripping at the seams spur them on, and it's starting to get difficult to discern who's to blame for the puddle beneath you. this are sloppier and more obscene than ever, and you're loving every single second of it, you almost feel like this is your gift and not theirs.

—which is why you nearly write it off as a trick of a pleasure-drunk mind.

you feel it against your sopping, swollen folds before they notice it themselves; in electing to run their tongues up and down the same path at the same time, their mouths mingled along the way—and continue to do so. the delicious, foreign sensation of their mouths tangled in a clandestine dance buys your silence. and easily.

sooner or later, they’d realize and your fun would mostly likely cease—they've never given any indication of feeling either way—and you weren’t about to speed the process along, especially not when you have the pearly gates in sight.

trevor's won't call attention to it either because he's enjoying it as much as you are. maybe more. he's twitching like crazy against the small of your back, and each time jamie and mason convene between your knees, his hips shamelessly rut into you softness like a feral dog.

he nudges you, warm lips against your cheek. "look."

giving your head a downward tilt, his firm hand directs your attention to the object of his—your boyfriend isn't the only one seeking respite by way of aimless grinding.

mason and jamie have their hips flush to your bed, their burning, sweat-stained cheeks glued to your inner thighs, one slightly scratchier than the other—the best of both worlds. their eyes are nearly black with lust. their frantic movements are more pleasure-seeking than precise, driving into the wrinkled sheets with just one thing in mind.

you've never seen anything quite like it before, and your body reacts in kind.

naturally, trevor sees the signs before anyone. he knows your body best, something he takes great pride in. you'd wager he knows more about what makes you tick than even you do. he's put in enough hours, that's for sure.

trevor doesn't bother disgusting the desire weighing on his voice, "beg."

your lips part as if on cue. your boyfriend (selfishly) indulges your pitiful little whines and repetitive pleas—he'll never pass up an opportunity to rub his handiwork in envious faces—but, eventually, he cuts you off before you get too far into the bit.

"—not you, silly bunny. them."

aghast, mason rips his mouth away and you whine at the sudden loss. jamie strokes your walls sympathetically.

"you're joking."

"does it sound like i'm joking, mctavish? you're lucky i'm even letting you see her like this, let alone touch what's mine, and it's a fucking privilege to watch her cum. convince me that you've earned it."

you weren't expecting to find it so erotic, the power trevor wields over them. you're no stranger to his persuasive prowess; his commands alone were enough to get you off some nights. but this is different, and markedly so.

watching him command his best friends—his friends, reducing them to docile creatures eager to eat from the palm of his hand with words alone, is what tips you over the edge.

their persistent chorus of compliance is swallowed entirely by your wanton cunt, but that was by design.

trevor always knows what you need.

when the dam in your abdomen fractures alongside your voice, he holds your wrists tight to his bare thighs, preventing you from grounding yourself in either of his friends' messy mops or finding purchase anywhere on his body. he can't have you distracted. he needs you to enjoy every second of it. your full, undivided attention must be on the pampering you're receiving, and the tender care with which his friends provide it.

it's okay if you're too weak—of mind, body or both—to make that happen for yourself. your boyfriend is more than willing to pin you down as you ride out your first high of the night. happy to, really.

on the come down, jamie rubs light, lazy circles over your sore, swollen clit almost apologetically. mason laps up your release because it'd be a crime to waste a drop—trevor made that abundantly clear earlier in the night. once he's drunk you dry, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

"i think i could, um, use a bit more practice?" he announces bashfully—as if he didn't just make you squirt into his mouth.

jamie perks up at his side, fingers and lips still shiny. he's savoring the fruit of their labors like a precious delicacy, knowing it could be the last time he gets a taste. dark lashes shy and fluttering, his puppy-dog eyes blink up at you. "me too."

a wicked smirk forms on trevor's face; they see it, you hear it.

"gentlemen, how's your stroke game?"

💌 if you liked it, pls lmk! 💌

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patrons gained access to this piece on december 29th, 2023 as part of their early bird perks. learn more HERE!

[thiamsalpha]

my one shots list:

unbroken: Instead of Gabe and Nolan beating Liam up, they managed to lure the unsuspecting beta away. With the idea of Mason being in danger, Liam went with them willingly. This alone put Liam at risk, not knowing what to expect. Mason on the other hand panicked, after finding Liam's phone he knew something was wrong. He had to get help, he had to call Theo. co written with @genetic-hellhound

daisy crowns: Theo tries to plan the perfect Valentine’s Day for Liam.

cooking chaos: Corey and Liam attempt to cook for their boyfriends but when they arrive, Mason and Theo are met with utter chaos...

we're brothers now: 4x05 re write except Isaac plays big brother to Liam.

ghostface: smut Liam keeps seeing the ghost face videos and shows Theo, the chimera initially thinks it's stupid, but he can tell Liam likes it. Who would he be to deny Liam of such a thing?

daddy's home: Liam's bio dad comes to visit for the weekend, but Theo now lives in the spare room. They have to share Theo's room until his father leaves.

let me anchor you: What if Liam and Theo weren't at the hospital during the finale episode? What if they were also at the school and had to face their worst fears?

do you want me to stay?: 6x20 re write since Jeff sucks

homewrecker: Liam's Christmas doesn't go to plan?

pack drama: Liam brings Theo to pack night but he's still not welcomed...

cold nights: Theo and Liam have to wait it out at the zoo because the hunters won't leave and Liam didn't bring a jacket.

build-a-bear: Liam forces Theo to take him to build a bear and makes him participate.

stuffed toy: Liam finds a stuffed wolf toy inside of Theo's truck, wanting to tease him for it he learns that it is the only thing Theo has left from his childhood. So like a good boyfriend, Liam spoils him!

zoo things: We never actually found out how Liam got into Theo's car...or what really happened at the zoo...

hovering: Theo hovers around Liam and Mason is trying to figure out why...

cupcake: Theo spends his birthday alone at the preserve, he didn't expect to go home to a surprise.

smitten as a kitten: The four times Liam noticed Theo’s behaviour wasn’t normal and the one time he just accepted it. co written with @dreadful-doctors

fuck away the pain: smut Hayden leaves Liam and to cope with his feelings he seeks comfort in Theo. co written with @dreadful-doctors

we're brothers now: Scott knew his job, he knew his role in the pack. It was his pack after all, that included his newly bitten beta. His first ever beta, he didn't know what he was doing and Derek was no help.

scars tell stories: Theo reveals to Liam a scar from his past.

teen wolf movie rewrite: This continues from my book ‘puppy pack’

multi ship smut shots: multi ships

thiam appreciation week: 7 one shots

[zalrb]

Saint {elena/stefan/katherine pt. 7}

It's long and hopefully messy af. Hope you enjoy! The gif limit pisses me off, lololol.

Link to part 1: https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/707929608286240768/toxic-elenastefankatherine-fic

Link to part 2: https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/709460774203064320/valentines-day-elenastefankatherine-fic-pt-2

Link to part 3: https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/709838031967879168/choices-elenastefankatherine-fic-pt-3

Link to part 4: https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/710274615200628736/blood-elenastefankatherine-fic-pt-4

Link to part 5: https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/710584105290579968/boundaries-elenastefankatherine-fic-pt-5

Link to part 6: https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/733086688201654273/kill-elenastefankatherine-fic-part-6

Stefan Salvatore was walking. Haunting the night. Skulking the shadows. The way a vampire should, he supposed.

All of Mystic Falls seemed to be sleeping or at the very least, shut away in their homes, leaving him the freedom to brood in the open air. He had to have walked the entire town at least once by now. It felt that way, anyway. But he couldn't stop moving, walking, running. Couldn't stop trying to outstrip his own thoughts.

Really, he was ready to be bored. To evolve. He was ready to just be done. Over the years, when he’d come across other men who had fallen prey to Katherine Pierce – tomb vampires, Elijah, Mason — he had pitied them, having had been a victim to her once himself but no longer a fool to her sway. It was all in the past. Even when they’d slept together years after she'd returned to his life, he hadn’t been twisted up or lovesick. It had been a contained moment. He had evolved from her then. So, he didn’t know why he felt like this now. Why she had her claws in him now. Why he couldn’t seem to get enough now.

He didn’t love her. That much he knew. Not after everything she’d done to him, the lies and the deceit, the violence, the manipulation; she’d stolen his human life and had done her utmost to ruin his vampire one so that he only had her to rely on. But more than that, he couldn’t love her. That was the important part. He couldn’t love her after knowing what true love felt like, not after knowing what Elena felt like, her blood, her touch, her kiss, her voice. For all the lifetimes he lived and would live, he knew that nothing could or would ever eclipse that. Loving Katherine wasn’t the problem.

And yet. She had been gone for fourteen days and he felt those fourteen days in his skin. He wanted to forget her --- his mind, his heart, his conscience all wanted to forget her, but his body was in a tragic, despicable need. His lust, his anger, his resentment, his ego, they all fed off the poison in his interactions with her and they were, waiting, in frenzy, for another hit before he was swallowed with shame for the feelings that came out when he was with her.

He drew some dark, vicious satisfaction from the fact that Katherine had to be more of a mess than him. He may have been craving her but he knew that she was fiending for him. In an attempt to punish him, she was torturing herself and thinking of her, tormented in her self-appointed denial of him, only served to arouse him.  He hated that. God, he hated her. Above all, he hated himself. His craving was tinged by disgust, his yearning accented by hate, he was in a repulsive, unsavoury state of being, that left him wired and strung out and even mired in all of this, missing Elena.

He’d been avoiding her. Avoiding hurting her. Avoiding scaring her. She had seen him at his lowest and he had told her about the worst parts of himself, she had seen his worst parts, his capacity for danger, for cruelty, the things about himself that brought him the most shame and remorse, and she’d never judged him. No, she’d understood, offered sympathy, gave him grace, gave him her love and that was why he couldn’t bear to see her when he was sick with another woman. The woman who had cursed him with her love. It was an insult. 

Suddenly, Stefan stopped walking.  He heard ... it sounded like ... those words ... that tone ... In the distance, he could see a cross perched above a steeple. It ... what he heard ... he couldn't block it out ... it was coming from that direction.

He heard it again.

His heartbeat quickened with dreadful anticipation. He wanted nothing less than to see who that voice belonged to and yet the promise of a reunion stoked in him a furious lust or lustful fury, he wasn't sure which. He should be smart. He should be strong. He should --- 

But his feet took him to the church. 

The sanctuary was only lit by candles so it was dark and quiet. The sound of his footsteps was the only thing he could hear until ---

A voice, breathy and whiny with need. "But the thing is, Father, I haven’t seen him in … weeks …” “And I’m just so … so hor --- tightly wound. For him. But I just …” Quickened breathing. “I just need some kind of relief. Please. Do you think you can help me? Do you think you can help a child in need? Please?”

It was an instinct he would do anything to curb, but Stefan sped over to the confessional and wrenched open the door. He didn't know what he expected to see. If there'd be a priest in a compromising position or dead or compelled or ... he didn’t know, he just knew he had to see. There was no one inside.  Suddenly, Katherine was behind him in a black dress accented by a long rosary draped around her neck in layers, and a smirk on her face. 

"Fancy seeing you here," she said.

Stefan grabbed her then turned and pushed Katherine hard against the carved, ornate wall of the confessional. 

"Stop messing with me!"

"Were you angry that you thought I was corrupting a man of God or were you jealous because you thought I was with another man at all?"

Neither. Both. She was toying with him and he was in no mood. And yet he was. Stefan could feel his fangs itch. His blood boil.

"Who did you want to kill, me or him?"

His jaw clenched. She always asked that question. He never answered. He would not give her the satisfaction of admitting anything. 

“God, you’re just revving to go, aren’t you?” 

“That why you disappeared, huh?” he asked. “Again?”

His anger sounded desperate even to his own ears. God, he wanted to kill this feeling.

“Sometimes it’s good to remind you that you want this as much as I do,” said Katherine. “That you go feral when you don’t have access to me.” 

"So then, how did you know I'd be out? How did you know I'd come here?"

Katherine looked at him with mock sympathy. "Stefan, Stefan, Stefan," she said. "I lured you here. All those late night walks you take."

He blinked at her. Her expression was smug and satisfied --- it was the face of triumph, of a winner, and yet she did nothing to move from his grip on her throat. As ever, he didn’t know if that meant he was in control or if it was her. Stefan let her go and backed away.

She walked toward him, slowly unravelling the rosary twirled around her neck. "You really think I would've left you alone for two weeks?" She pulled a face. "You think I wouldn't want to see my handiwork? All that tension, all that need?” She shivered at the anticipation of Stefan unleashing all of that on her. “I've been watching you this entire time."

He wanted to seize her and break her and kiss her and lay her bare.

Stefan looked at  the rosary, now hanging loose around her neck. "Little theatrical don't you think?" he said, glancing around the church, at the confessional, the candles, the stained glass windows.

"I like making an impression. This is the perfect place for you. All that guilt?" She put a hand on his cheek and he tensed. "Want to add a little more?"

"What game are you playing?"

"Doesn't matter." She ran a finger across his lips. "I know you want to play with me. Maybe that can be your first confession. What's it going to be, saint or sinner?" 

He caught her finger between his teeth, and Katherine nearly convulsed. It took all the control she had to keep from launching herself at him, to keep from begging him to relieve the frustration she'd been suffering from for fourteen days.

It had been a persistent ache that had driven her to the point of humiliating neediness, where she did everything she could, used everything she could think of to rid herself of the pulsing desire that could only be satiated by the man in front of her. And he was going to completely undo her with a simple act.

Stefan closed his eyes. What was he doing? How was this his life? Why couldn't he stop? He needed to stop. He --

"There's nothing I'd ever confess to you," he said.

Katherine draped the rosary around Stefan as well. "I'd expect nothing less than you wanting me on my knees, begging you for absolution." She pulled the rosary tight around his neck, choking him, using it to pull him forward, to pull him toward her, so they were a breath away from each other, so close her lips brushed against his when she spoke.

"Shall we begin?" She gestured to the confessional.

Stefan didn't answer. He didn't move. He just stayed where he was, letting the beads dig into his skin. The moment he thought he heard her voice on the wind, he knew that he would succumb to whatever was going to happen next. He would fight and battle, and he would hate himself for it, but ultimately he would succumb. He knew that. She knew that. He wondered, then, if it would give him peace, even momentarily, if he did more than succumb for the night but if he actually gave in. If he admitted what this did to him, that it excited him. Would that soothe something in him, would that give him the relief, the release, he needed to be set free? Could he move on, could he sleep, could he face himself, could he face Elena, could he tear away from the intoxication of toxicity if he just ... ... confessed?

“I’m not a saint.” He glared at her before freeing himself from her beaded prison and stepping into the side of the confessional for the and closing the curtain behind him. 

Katherine flushed. “Oh, I do love a surprise,” she said, before stepping into the box herself and closing the door behind her. 

*

Elena just made it onto campus and felt glad that Bonnie and Caroline had refrained from moving back because she didn’t know if she was going to scream or if she was going to cry when she got to her room, and she wanted to be alone to figure it out. 

She was barely inside her dorm before she heard, "Do you want to know what's so perfect?”

Elena turned on the light and saw Damon sitting on her bed, a drink in hand. The books and grimoires she went to sleep reading and re-reading to find that one overlooked line or detail about how to permanently kill Katherine Pierce so that she was gone gone, not other-dimension gone, were on the floor. She threw her head back.  

“I thought you outgrew this, Damon.” 

“Uh…” Damon shook his head, trying to find words. “Let’s say alcohol makes me emotionally regress.” 

Elena closed the door behind her. “Right.”

“I’m surprised you’re here actually. I thought you’d be out stalking your ex boyfriend.” 

“I know exactly where he is,” said Elena quietly. “I know exactly who he’s with.” 

The church. Doing God knows what with her. It was a bit of a sick joke. Elena had been keeping tabs on Katherine who had been keeping tabs on Stefan, which meant that Elena had been following him too, skulking after him the way Katherine did, the way she had always done. He’d told her about how she’d checked in on him over the years and even at the time he’d told her, when they’d been together, Elena understood how and why Katherine would do that, how and why she’d just need a glimpse of him to see how he was doing. It was Stefan after all. Not knowing where he was or how he was doing her summer before college had weighed on Elena like a pebble lodged in her mind. And now she was in a place where she couldn’t help but check in on him. For two weeks, Stefan had avoided her. Avoided everyone. And she had allowed him his privacy only because she’d known where he was. 

Damon chuckled. “Perfect transition. So, again, do you know what’s so perfect?”

“What, Damon? What’s so perfect?”

"You and Stefan, the great love story, the great romance, and your love is never enough."

Elena closed her eyes and sighed. “I really don’t feel like playing this game tonight.” 

"No, but just think about it.” He put his glass on the bedside table and then put his hands behind his head. “He loved you and yet he left you to save me. You loved him, you chose him, but ended up with me. Why do you think that is? You two just love each other too much to be together permanently? You always have to leave?”

“But I never really did leave him, did I?”

Damon did nothing but glare.

Elena leaned against a dresser. “I never left him,” she said again. “And he never really left me. Even when it hurt. Even when we tried.” She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. “Why else would we still be in each other’s lives? Don’t you think I know how desperate this looks, how pathetic I must look to everyone? After hearing them, after seeing them? Don’t you think I know anyone else would’ve walked away? But it’s still the same, I can’t give up. And neither could he.”

“He didn’t fight for you. Not when you chose me.” 

“He respected my choice,” said Elena. “But he never left me,” she said, shaking her head. “So, why do you think that is?” 

Damon scoffed. “Feels like he finally is giving up.”

“This is a phase. Some kind of revenge.” 

Damon raised his eyebrows. "You think he's sleeping with her to hurt you back?"

"Stefan doesn't do that. He isn't---"

"What? Me?" Damon grinned. "That's the problem."

Elena muttered beneath her breath. "Haven’t you been listening to anything I’ve said? That's what you want the problem to be."

Damon put his hand to his chest. "Ouch."

Elena sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Damon, this really isn't---"

"You've said a lot of things over the years that have hurt me," he said, swirling the whisky in his glass.

Elena blinked temporarily wrong-footed. "I..." She took a breath. "I'm sorry."

"Stefan's never experienced that."

"You just asked me if I thought he was with Katherine," she could barely say her name, "to hurt me back. How can you also think I've never hurt him? Especially after everything between the three of us?"

"Doesn't count. Extraordinary circumstances."

Elena furrowed her eyebrows. "What other reason would there possibly be for me to hurt him?"

"What reasons were there for you to hurt me?" Damon took a sip of his drink. "You've been casually cruel, you've manipulated me. You couldn't stand to do that to Stefan," he said in a tone that was somewhere between smug and bitter. "You can't bear to see him in pain and that's the beauty in all of this."

Elena looked at him, incredulous. "Damon, I don't---"

"Do I really have to spell it out for you? You can't save Stefan from this. You can't keep him from Katherine."

"You're wrong," she said simply.

"You love him too much," Damon said. "He loves you too much. It's too pure."

She shook her head. "That's ridiculous."

Damon laughed humourlessly. "Stefan isn't a saint and you've never been able to accept that."

"No, no,” she said, walking up to him, her index finger pointed. “I've always known that Stefan has a dark side, OK? I've seen it. I've faced it," she insisted. "I just think that he's more than the worst thing he ever did! So does he!"

Damon gestured triumphantly. "And that's exactly why you're losing. You two always bettering each other, pushing each other, protecting each other." He took on a mocking tone. "Trying to find the rainbows and the puppies and the silver lining." He rolled his eyes. "He's revelling with Katherine in the parts of himself he hates, that he tries to ignore or tries to better. You two could never do that."

"And what makes you so sure?"

"Because you revelled with me. You tasted blood with me. You killed because of me."

"Because of the sire bond."

"Which part?"

Elena brushed her hair away from her face but said nothing. Damon nodded.

"Casually cruel even in your silence. You have no problem hurting me. You have no problem hating me. The truth is, you know how addictive it is, what Stefan is doing." 

Elena narrowed her. "I was never addicted to you."

"The sex dreams you've had about me beg to differ."

She scoffed. "That was different than what's happening to Stefan now."

"Because it's Stefan. He doesn't half-ass anything, my brother, he goes full throttle. All or nothing. He's not just addicted to Katherine, he's obsessed with her."

Elena winced.

"And that fucking torments you, right?" said Damon.  "But you still can't hate him for it. You still can't want to kill him for that. You can't give him what he---"

"That isn't what he needs," said Elena sharply

"But it's what he wants," said Damon. "He wants to be feral and savage. He wants to be a vampire. And you can't give him what he wants this time." He drained his glass. "Call it karma."

“I don’t believe that,” said Elena. 

Damon looked at her, a vindictive grin on his face. “Then why did you leave the church?”

Elena furrowed her eyebrows. “How did you know that’s where they were?”

“The question is, do you want to go back?”

***

Katherine had never been more exhilarated. She heard Stefan on the other side, heard the unbuckling of his belt, heard his zipper, heard him shift; when she’d moaned and whimpered, he’d pressed himself against the wall, she was sure of it, and that made her flush with arousal.  She could hear the faint whispers under his breath, his self-admonishments, his curses of pleasure, his need for release that sickened him and she encouraged his tortured desire with unadulterated excitement as she let him know she couldn’t help herself, that she never could. Through the grate she could see that deliciously anguished expression as he reacted to her words, her noises. She sighed loudly. He responded in kind. 

“Confess. Do you like hearing me?” 

“Yes.” 

She smiled. “Because you want me?” “Yes.” 

“And that kills you?” 

“Yes.” 

“But you want me anyway?” He was leaning his forehead against the grate and gripping onto the wall, splintering the wood. “Yes. Yes.”

Katherine threw her head back. His words were drugging, enough to bring her to the brink. She’d yearned for his yeses for weeks, for decades, for a century and now he was giving them to her in a choked voice tortured with want. 

“You crave me?”

“I’d give anything to stop.” 

She made an urgent noise and caressed the grate in a feeble effort to feel his skin through the gaps. 

“Tell me. Confess. Confess.”

“I haven’t had my fill of you.” 

“Yes,’ said Katherine.

“I want -- fuck.”

She was undulating, racing to finish.  This was … this was … but, she couldn’t ignore it. The twinge in her chest, the nagging feeling that always served to remind her that even with all of his lust and pain and conflict, that even with his acquiescence, even with his obsession,  he didn’t love her. He didn’t have her in his heart. None of his confessions --- I hate it but I can’t stop and I hated you for showing up tonight but I hated you for leaving two weeks ago and yes, it’s taking everything in me not to break down this wall and come for you --- were about his undying passion or eternal love for her. He belonged to her even when, even if, she stopped claiming him, even when he refused her claim, he would never, could never pull away from her. Katherine felt a flare of rage amidst her desire that then turned to a resolve of sorts, as it always did. This was all familiar and yet never old, she, and they, could never get old. 

Katherine got up and ripped open the curtain. Stefan was already leaving his side of the booth to get to her. She pushed him back inside, sitting him down so that she straddled him. She’d never get his love, fine, she would just have to do what she always did --- bring Stefan lower, deeper into her, entangle him in the messy web that was their relationship. Take it all from him. She took a kiss from him, ravishing him, dug her fingernails into his shoulders, whimpered into his mouth when he grabbed her by the neck.

He moved them out of the booth, back into the nave, and slammed against a pillar, making the building shake. The impact was near-hazardous and the idea of his lust for her being so great it’d bring down an entire church inflamed Katherine beyond reason.

“No,” she whispered in his ear. “I want you now. Now.” 

He lifted off her dress in a single motion and suddenly there was clattering on the floor. Something had fallen out of her pocket. A lot of somethings. Stefan moved away slightly to inspect, making Katherine groan with impatience and frustration at the absence of him against her, between her. She took a step forward to close the gap between them but Stefan pushed her back against the pillar, holding there, his quiet domination making her moan. Candied chestnuts had fallen from her dress. One landed in Katherine’s bra. Stefan’s eyes stayed on it for a few moments and then he quirked an eyebrow, looking at her to explain.

“Come on, Stefan, you know your history,” she said breathlessly. “I was alive at the time, after all.” 

After a beat, he realized. “This is a poor substitute for the Vatican.” 

“But it’ll do.” 

“Mm.” 

He closed the gap between them -- finally -- and buried his face in her chest, taking the chestnut out with his teeth before kissing and palming her breasts. Katherine sighed and gripped his hair, gripped his back, pushing him deeper into her so she could feel him once again between her legs.

Stefan teased her with a graze of his fangs and she shivered then left her again, to pick up her dress. He found a few more chestnuts, and backed farther away from her as he chewed the one in his mouth. 

“If I remember that contested piece of history correctly…” His expression was becoming more devilish. “The courtesans were stripped bare, weren’t they?”

Katherine steadied her trembling body against the pillar, trying to exude control instead of melting into a begging mess. “They danced first.”

Stefan nodded.

“Is that what you want me to do?”

His gaze was focused. “I just want you naked.”

And God, that was what he’d get. Katherine left her spot on the pillar and followed Stefan into the aisle. She reached behind her back then stopped, and then looked at him. “That’s what you want?” She wanted him to say it twice. “Me, naked, on my hands and knees?”

“Yes.”

It was a command and with that voice and that look, she would do anything for him. 

“You know it was here,” she said, unclasping her bra. “This exact spot.” She let it fall to the floor. She wanted him wild and inflamed and as drunk on her as she was on him. “Before I was dragged to hell.” She hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her underwear. “Where I vowed that only I could have you.” She was wearing nothing but the rosary and it switched something in Stefan’s brain. 

“Only pick up what I drop,” he said.

And she did. Stefan took his time, walking backwards, step by step, toward the sanctuary, leisurely dropping chestnuts on the floor, keeping Katherine’s gaze as she crawled toward him, collecting what he scattered.

The way she moved, feline, almost serpentine, a seductive display just for him

inflated something in Stefan that made him want to twist the rosary around her neck around his hand and pull her to him.

He could do anything. He could have her like this, on her hands and knees, for hours. One word and she’d do what he told her to. She had centuries on him, more strength than he could fathom, and she’d let him stake her for his pleasure, torture her for his knowledge, she’d let him bind her and leave her for his own amusement. She never said no. And he never had to compel her to say yes. Never had to use the tricks on her that she’d used on him. The power he had over her, the control he held, he alone had that and did that, he could make her plead, make her pay, make her yield to him in a way he could never and would never yield to her and every time he remembered that, every time she reminded him of that, he wanted to test the limits, see how far she was willing to go, how far he could go. 

She had chestnuts in her hands, in her mouth, she’d picked them up in ways he wouldn’t have been able to imagine. The more she prowled, the more her movements seemed to change, seemed to shift into something… dangerous, as if suddenly, Stefan was prey, as if he was something to be consumed. That same smug expression was on her face now but with sultry, seductive eyes, like she had him right where she wanted him, like she would devour him completely. And the closer she got to him, the faster his heart raced; he could hear its beat in his ears, feel a tremor throughout his body, and Stefan felt something like excited trepidation mixed with resentful frustration that she had seized back the power he’d been enjoying. But this was what she wanted, the struggle for the upper-hand. She wanted him battling himself, battling her, the fight, his better nature, is what tangled him in her with no thought of escape. He had to give in tonight. He had to. Remember?

Suddenly, they were against the altar and Katherine was feeding him chestnuts, transferring one into his mouth with a kiss that made him greedy, that made him want to steal her breath, steal her soul, that made him want to leave her a gasping husk. And then he was on his knees in front of her as she picked up a chalice half-full with wine and poured it down her throat so it spilled down her chest, her stomach. He drank the red rivulets off her skin, licking and lapping and sucking so that she giggled and moaned and clutched him to her

and then he was piercing her skin and drinking from her skin, her blood on his tongue, the wine on his lips, her nails digging into his shirt, raking his back, his grunt and her moans reverberating off the walls and echoing throughout the church. Stefan turned his attention lower so that her body arched and she fell back onto the altar, her back bowing off the surface, her arms spread out so she could grip the edges, her moans turning to sobs of pleasure and calls of Stefan’s name. He had her at his mercy. 

Before he knew it, positions changed. The candlesticks and the chalice and the cross clattered to the floor and he was lying flat on the altar in their stead. Somehow, she had tied him to her with the rosary, bound his body to hers with complicated knots and layers, entangling him, snaring him. He was still fully clothed and she sat astride him, completely bare, her hand on his throat, as she teased him, using him to pleasure herself, daring him to grab her and take her, spurring him to grip her waist tighter and tighter and tighter because the harder he held her, the closer his grip came to grinding her bones, the more control he had to exert over his desire and Katherine wanted him to falter and crack and completely break apart beneath her so that he could utterly destroy her with his prowess.

She didn’t stop until he begged, until he admitted to wanting her so badly he couldn’t stand it, to wanting her to ride him to oblivion, until he confessed that he didn’t know how or when he would be able to liberate himself from their game, and Stefan hated each word he groaned while she laughed and basked and rewarded him with her hands, her mouth, her gyrating body. Lust so close to blood lust, desire so close a murderous rage toward Katherine and all she’d done to him, all she would do to him, could do to him, and toward himself for wanting to exact his revenge in this way. And then they were clawing at each other, biting each other, the candlelight illuminating how they writhed in delicious agony, tearing each other apart with their carnal appetites. 

Even without her vampiric ability to eavesdrop from miles away, Elena was sure she would’ve been able to hear the screams of pleasure coming from the church. As it were, she was with Damon a few yards away, asking herself over and over why she chose to come back, why she would torment herself this way. Out of everything she’d heard over the past few months -- and she’d heard more than she’d ever cared to -- this was the worst of it. 

Elena glanced at Damon by her side. He was near-catatonic --- in so much pain that he looked to be in the process of disassociating. 

“Oh my God,” she said. “We’re here because you’re jealous.” 

He shook his head, snapping himself out of his horrified reverie, and looked at her as though he were seeing her for the first time. 

Elena glared at him. “You wanted to hear them because of some sick need to punish yourself or measure yourself or something.”

“Yeah, well.” Damon shrugged. “I’ve had a lot of practice listening to Stefan screw your brains out in the house.” 

“This is unbelievable.” Elena shook her head. “You hate the thought of him in there with her.”

“Yeah, I do. And you know what? I hate the thought of you hating the thought of them in there too.”

Elena threw up her hands. “What do you expect me to say to that? That I’m flattered?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you?”

“No!” said Elena. 

She stalked off. Vaguely, she wanted to go back to campus but she didn’t even know if she was going in the right direction, she just knew she wanted to get as far away from Stefan and Katherine as possible.  

Damon followed her. “Then why are you so mad that I’m jealous about what’s going on in there?”

“I’m mad that I let you talk me into coming here because you’re just playing into her hands! This is what she wants, this is what she likes!”

“So, no part of you likes that I can’t stand how much this hurts you? Because I still want you?”

Elena stopped short and opened and closed her hands in frustration.  “No, I just feel bad. I don’t want you in pain, Damon, but your pain over our breakup isn’t a compliment and your jealousy over my feelings for Stefan isn’t a turn on!” Elena buried her head in her hands. “And I would probably feel worse about what this is doing to you if I had the room but I can’t get everything I just heard out of my head. I can’t---” Stefan’s confessions made her hold her stomach.  “I’m pretty sure I’m going to go crazy.” She rubbed her eyes and felt the tears she couldn’t help wet her fingertips. “Why would you convince me to come back here?” “Why did you let me?

“Because I’m an idiot.”

“It’s because you want to fall out of love with him,” said Damon. 

Elena sighed, suddenly exhausted. “No.”

“You’re lying to yourself.”

“That’s not it.”

“You want me to convince you---”

“I love him, Damon.”

He stared at her. 

“I’m not playing games. I’m not in denial. I just love him. And…” she bit her lip. “I came because I want to understand this as much as I can.” As she said the words, she realized it was true. Even now, even in this, she wanted to know Stefan, wanted to be close to him. “I want to be there for him when this finally ends, but…” But right now she wanted to scream. She started to walk again to keep herself from doing it.  

Damon grabbed Elena by the arm, pulling her to him. She glared at him. “WHAT?” 

“Don’t get sad,” he said. “Get even.”

“Let go of me.” 

“You want to save him?” said Damon. “You want to understand him? You want him back? Sink to the level he’s at.” 

Elena took a deep breath. 

***

“So, Katherine was stalking Stefan. You were stalking Katherine. And Damon was stalking you?” said Bonnie, sipping from her coffee.

“We were all stalking Stefan,” said Elena. 

“Why would you go back?”  said Caroline, adjusting the knapsack with the candles and the books and the grimoire on her shoulder.

She, Elena and Bonnie were trekking through the woods, on their way to the witch burial site. Caroline had called for a coffee date/catch up and Bonnie suggested combining it with a field trip to search for answers about their “Katherine problem”, and for the entire morning, Elena barely heard what either of them said and mostly walked around with a loud ringing in her ears.

“I don’t know,” said Elena because she knew they wouldn’t understand if she’d admitted it was to be close to him.

“Yeah, this whole thing sounds so healthy,” said Caroline. 

Bonnie shot her a look. “Was that really necessary?”

“Well, I’m sorry but this is insane! Our group has survived a lot of cross…” Caroline shook her head, trying to find the right words. “Couplings, I don’t know! But Katherine is breaking us. Bonnie and I are displaced from our home---”

“It’s bad but let’s not be dramatic,” said Bonnie, as they made their way into the dilapidated cottage. 

“No, the dorm is our home for the next few years and we can’t even stay there for long periods of time. We are displaced!” said Caroline, as she and Elena helped Bonnie set up the candles around the cottage. “Stefan is off the deep end.” Elena closed her eyes at the pain of that. “Damon is getting there and who knows how many people that will put in danger, including us! Matt is,” Caroline gestured. “I don’t even know what’s going on with him, I just know ever since Katherine decided he was a key player in her weird psychosexual whatever, he hasn’t been the same.” 

Bonnie laid out a blanket for the three of them to sit on. “I mean, she’s right. I had to use my magic on you. I hated that.” 

“Exactly!” Caroline gestured. “It’s mayhem!” 

Elena didn’t say anything. It wasn’t like she could disagree. Katherine’s preoccupation with Stefan had brought out a side of Elena she didn’t recognize, made her consider things, do things, think of things she would never otherwise. 

“And we haven’t found anything about, you know, killing, really killing a vampire and it’s been months!”

“That’s why we’re here. I want to see if they,” said Bonnie, gesturing around the cottage, “have any insight. If they’ll even help us.” 

“Even if they did, are we even sure that’s going to work?” Elena said it in a voice so quiet, Caroline and Bonnie barely heard her. 

They stared at her with furrowed brows and Elena looked up at them, already wiping away tears. “He chose this. He’s choosing this. Before, with the blood, you know, I … I did that to him. I made him drink from me. And Klaus … that was for Damon. Everything that happened after that, the way he pushed me away … that was to protect me. But with her, I don't …” Elena’s voice cracked. “I'm starting to wonder if he just doesn't want to stop and that scares the hell out of me, the thought of letting him go, I can’t do that but even thinking about trying scares the hell out of me. But I …I just …” 

The breakdown Elena had been delaying for weeks poured out of her and Bonnie held her just as she cracked so that she was crying into her shoulder. Caroline shifted over to hug her.

“I just don’t understand how she’s able to do this,” said Elena. 

“Elena,” said Bonnie. “If you don’t want to---”

“No,” she said, sniffling. “I’m not giving up. We still have to do this. We still have to try. It just … it hurts.” 

***

For the first time in weeks, Stefan was still. Sitting in the library. Brooding. Stewing. Sitting with himself, with the wreckage he wrought, the decisions he made, the life he’d led, the one he didn’t get to, he was sombre and melancholic and felt the familiar sourness of shame.  He was still for hours and then he heard her. She was hovering in the doorway. He knew she knew that he sensed that she was there.

“You can come in.” 

Elena took a few steps into the library. "Katherine left,” she said.

"Yeah."

Elena continued to walk until she could see Stefan’s face. "Bonnie said you were the one that made her go."

Stefan didn't respond. He should’ve known Bonnie wouldn’t keep it to herself. He hadn’t told her so Elena could know, he’d told her in the hopes that Bonnie could work her magic and do something like spell the town to keep Katherine from ever coming back. 

“Well, is it true?” Elena insisted.

Stefan simply nodded. He'd had the conversation with Katherine the night before. It hadn’t been planned. There wasn’t a big speech. He had walked into her apartment and without any preamble told her it was time to leave.

"Get on a bus,” he told her. “A train. Steal a car, take mine, I don't care, just leave. It's done. You're done here."

Katherine had looked at him. The grin on her face had slowly disappeared when she’d realized that this wasn’t a game, this wasn’t an empty request. It wasn’t a request at all. 

"Something's changed,” she’d said. 

"I've let it go,” said Stefan. “I'm..." he sighed. “This isn’t what I want.” 

“Bullshit! You wanted this! You wanted me! Don’t deny it, you know that you did!”

“I did,” he said openly. “And now it’s over.”

Panic was all over Katherine's face. He was serious. She knew it. "She got to you," she said.

"Katherine..."

“No, no.” She started pacing. "How does she always ...? How could you do this?"

"Don't go after her.” Stefan’s tone was weary and Katherine’s eyes darkened with rage when she saw that his eyes were emotionless. 

"I've already killed you twice,” he said. “I can do it again. Do not go near her. I will stake you." 

“You've made that threat before," she said, uncertainty a tremor in her tone.

"I will behead you," he said matter-of-fact. "I will set you on fire. I will let the sun burn you, Katherine, if you touch her."

Still, a shred of hope flickered in her chest. She could still turn this into a game, make it into a power play.. She just had to get under his skin in the exact right way.  "So much anger,” she said with a hint of a seductive grin. She trailed a finger down his chest. “I bet you’d love to bury your stake in me.”

"No," he said dispassionately. He didn't even bother to move her hand away. "No enjoyment, no rage, it will just be because you hurt her. It will just be for her."

Katherine’s eyes reddened. She gritted her teeth.

“I should rip you to fucking shreds.”

“How long did you think I could keep doing this?”

“STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE I’M A STRANGER. I AM NOT A STRANGER TO YOU.”

“Oh no, we are intimately acquainted,” Stefan agreed. “That’s why I know it needs to be done like this.”

“I never knew that loving Elena made you cruel,” said Katherine waspishly.

Stefan sighed. “What, you want me to hold your hand? Shed a tear for you? Go through all the darkness, all the trauma that got you to this point, that got me to this point? Tell you I understand, tell you it’s not your fault? That’s what you want?” He said, raising his eyebrows. “Because I think I did that already, Katherine---”

“OK---”

“--- and then you threw it back in my fucking face and jumped into Elena’s body.”

Katherine grinned. “There’s that anger.”

“It’s not what you think,” he said. “I’m just making a point.”

“And now let me make mine. I won't let you do this to me. You understand that, right? You understand that I will not let you go. I never have.”

"I’m not doing this with you. Leave, Katherine. Peacefully," said Stefan, heading toward the door. "Today."

She’d screamed after him. "I will fucking kill you before I let you leave me!” 

Stefan stopped in the doorway and hung his head. He turned back around, his expression dejected. 

"Do what you need to do," he said. "Just don't touch her. And don’t think you can kill me and then hurt her because, if you do, I will come back from whatever hell you send me to. Leave her out of this."

And then he’d left.

Stefan looked at Elena and cleared his throat. “It was time.” 

Elena rubbed her eyes in disbelief. There had to be more, there had to be a reason. "You were in so deep. You---"

"Elena, do we really have to..."

"How did you...why did you..."

"I saw you ..." He closed his eyes. And he saw Elena in the cottage with Bonnie and Caroline, sobbing into their arms, devastated and heartbroken. He hadn’t meant to see it. 

But he’d been out in the woods himself, running, hunting, doing anything he occupy his mind, and he’d heard her from a distance. He reacted before he could think and in a manner of seconds, he was outside the old cottage.

He would never forget that like he would never forget the way she looked at him, teary-eyed and completely undone, that night on Wickery Bridge; expressions that would haunt him for his eternity. It clarified him in a way that nothing else had.

"You were in hell," he said. "I couldn't just..." His voice choked and he sighed, bending his head. "You were in hell," he said again, more firmly, as he stood up.

Elena watched Stefan walk away and was oddly overcome with emotion. The gratitude she felt toward him, the love that she felt for him because he loved her enough to let Katherine go, because he loved her enough, because he had always loved her enough to do anything for her only served to underscore that he’d given up something he’d wanted, something he’d wanted terribly; something he shared with Katherine. The thought of her in his head, in his heart, the thought of her as a sacrifice dizzied Elena with a disorienting jealousy and an aching indignation that Katherine possibly gave him something their relationship never did.

"I slept with Damon!” she blurted out.

Stefan stopped walking. He turned back around. When Elena came to the Boarding House, she didn’t know if she was going to tell him that, she didn’t know what she was going to say beyond questioning him about Katherine and her impulsivity made her look at him defiantly. 

He cleared his throat. "You two are back together?"

She shook her head. "No. I just felt like it."

He nodded. "OK, well, that's not really---"

"We woke up my entire dorm,” she continued conversationally. “We were so loud we didn't even hear the pounding on the door."

Stefan was quiet. Still. He looked to be focused on something Elena couldn't see. She wondered if he was breathing. When he got like this, he reminded her of sculpted marble. She pushed further.

"I rode him so hard into the mattress, it broke the be---" 

"Why are you doing this?"

He was looking directly at her now with no accusation in his eyes, just sheer pain. It made her want to go to him, put consoling hands on him. She folded her arms. She was hurting him back.

"Well, we're telling each other about our sex lives now---"

"No," said Stefan, shaking his head. "I never wanted to tell you what happened between me and---"

"I thought you should know about the headache I have because I kept knocking into the headboard. Well," she said. "Before we broke it."

Stefan nodded then continued to walk, which caused anger to swell in Elena's chest. Anger that made her walk after him.

Anger that  pushed her over the emotional edge she'd been teetering on for weeks. 

"You're just going to walk away?" She accused. "Is that all you do?"

He stopped short then turned around. "What does that mean?"

"After your summer with Klaus, when you came back, I told you I kissed Damon and you walked away. You found out we spent the night in a motel room and you didn't ask any questions." 

Stefan took a deep breath and started to walk away again, faster this time. Elena shadowed him into the living room. 

"I chose him---" She grabbed him by the arm and turned him around so he could look at her, so he could see her furious, determined face.

"I chose him after you gave me the cure and you just left town.” It was cruel of her to say that here, in front of the fireplace she’d made that choice. She didn’t care. “You just told me that you made Katherine go and I respond by telling you that I fucked Damon's brains out---" Stefan flinched, exhaled sharply, and broke free from Elena's grasp then continued to walk. "And you run away!" She screamed. "You're running away!"

Of course he was running away when he had --- "I have no right to feel anything, Elena."

Elena put her hands to her head and then picked up a lamp and threw it against the wall, making Stefan stop and turn to look at the damage.

"I don't give a fuck about what you have the right to feel, Stefan. How do you feel?"

No, she wasn’t hurting him back. She was pushing him. Testing him. Seeing if he loved her too much to show her what he showed Katherine, to feel with her what he felt with … … her. Her desperation to know was making Elena blunt and messy with her emotions. It had been making her messy with everything.

Stefan clenched his jaw, holding onto his composure. "You have every right---"

"Yes, of course. 'I have every right'. Always so patient!" She upturned a table, making his eyes widen. "God, you're so understanding, doesn't it ever get tiring? Don't you get tired?"

"What do you want from me? You want the fight?"

"Yes!"

"You want me to ask you if you did this just to hurt me?”

“Why not?”

“You want me to say that that isn't you? That you would never do that? Why?"

"Is that how you feel?"

"I feel like I don't get a say in what you do!"

"So you're not angry? You're just never angry with me?" Elena took a few steps forward. "The things that we've been through over the years, the things that you had to hear, that you had to see, it doesn’t affect you because you’re such a fucking saint?"

"Elena---"

"It has to. You have to be. Stefan, you must be so angry at me. How much anger do you have that you don't let me see?"

"That's not---"

"Hate me!" she yelled.

He blinked at her, a picture of confusion. "No," he said simply.

She was in front of him now, pushing him so that he staggered backwards. "You're a ripper, right?" She pushed him again. "Let in the rage." And again. Into a wall. Causing a dent. "Let it in."

"Stop it." 

"Why? It wouldn't be anything I hadn't heard before!"

He put his hand over hers when she moved to push him again, as if she wanted to push him through wood and brick, and he was suddenly looming over her. 

"I didn't mean any of that and you know that. You have to know that," he said, pained at the memory of every cruel lie he spat in her face when he'd been detoxing.

He wasn't angry. He was earnest and passionate and Elena loved him for it, she could never hate him for it, but in this moment, she could kill him for it.

"Why can't you get angry at me?" she yelled. "Katherine---"

"SHE'S GONE. None of this matters!"

"She enrages you."

Stefan gritted his teeth, thinking about the church, the blood, the lust, the shame, the regret. The sick hateful feeling in his stomach he had the morning after. All of the mornings after. The intoxication in that was corrosive. 

"You're not Katherine." He said firmly. "I have never linked you to Katherine. You've never made me feel what she has! She's out of my life. She's out of our lives! We don't have to do this!"

Elena glared at him, a mixture of fury and pain. She felt something shift, tilting her off-balance, stripping away more and more of her composure. 

“You still want her, don’t you?"

“What?” 

“You didn’t send her away because you wanted to---”

“Elena---”

“I heard you in that church! Yeah, I was there! All of your confessions, all of your desires!”

“That’s not---”

“God, you still want her! More than you have ever wanted me.”

Stefan looked sharply at her. The sentiment was too incomprehensible for a simple denial, it didn’t deserve any kind of acknowledgement. 

Elena was adamant. "I thought I was the one you didn't hide from but it's her. You don't hide that part of yourself from her."

Katherine had done everything in her power to destroy him, and Elena had done everything in hers to help him was never, could never, be that. She knew that. She had to know that.

"Don't do this."

"You relish that side of you with her."

Stefan was beside himself. "There's only that side of me with her!"

"Then give that to me!' She was inconsolable. "You owe that to me!"

No, this was enough. Stefan put his hands on either side of her face and she inhaled sharply the feel of it. 

"Elena? Elena! Look at me. Look at me." His tone was frenzied and anguished. "I could never hate you."

And her doing her best to make him try was painful in a way he would never be able to truly articulate. "I could never feel---"

Elena was trembling. She couldn't feel his touch. She moved away. "I'm telling you to."

"No," he said flatly.

"I want you to."

"No."  

He started to walk out of the living room, but Elena grabbed his arm, keeping him in place and it caused a tormented sob in his chest. He was overwhelmed by her refusal to give up, let go.

"What did you do with her that you couldn't do with me?" 

Something turned in her expression. Why was she goading him? Why was she so insistent on this? "Not this." His voice was barely louder than a whisper.

"You want me on my knees like her?"

"Stop it." He closed his eyes.

"You want me to beg like her?"

"Elena, stop."

"It wasn't enough for you. We weren't enough for you." She was more than angry, she was near-crazed. It scared him. "You want to be savage with me like you were with her?"

"Please." 

"Own me like her?"

"Please stop."

Without warning, she took his hand and put it on her neck. "If you were to put a hand around my throat the way you did with her ---"

Stefan erupted with horror and desperation. "STOP IT." He held her by the arms. "JUST STOP! STOP." 

"If this is because you actually do love her---"

His mouth was on hers before she could finish her sentence and she whimpered from the shock of it.

Stefan pinned her against the wall, kissing her with a furious, desperate passion. He was clutching her, gripping her. His hands found the dips and shallows of her body, massaging her, feeling her. He was kissing her cheek, her neck, her eye, her forehead, so that she gasped and quaked and each of his touches asked again and again, Does it feel like I love her? Elena, tell me. Does it feel like I love her?

And when she moaned in response to his wordless question, when she bowed to him, sank into him, making helpless, needy noises, he moved to leave, confident that he’d made the depth of his point, of his feelings clear, but Elena kept him to her, refusing his departure and desperate for more.

She could get lost, oh God, she would've gotten lost in him if it weren't for this feral urgency and impatience clawing at her.

She didn't know if it was the vampirism, if it was the weeks of torment, but she had this need that was territorial and possessive and primal and raw. She bit his lower lip then sucked and Stefan put his hand on the small of her back, bringing her forward, pressing her into him and she felt the evidence of his desire. Had he done this with Katherine? Bring her to him so he could feel her body against his, so his arousal, his lust for her could drive her crazy? Had that driven him wild? The thought of that ---

Veins darkened Elena's face. Suddenly, she bit him, sinking her fangs into his neck, making him call out and convulse. He pressed her even tighter to him then pressed her back against the wall, leaving no room for escape, He grinded into her as she drank, as she clutched the back of his head, gripping his hair. She fumbled with his shirt, scrambling to rid him of it. She wanted it off. Off. And then her hands were all over him rough and greedy and jealous. Katherine had touched him here, kissed him everywhere, and if it were the last thing she did, she was going to rewrite the history of his body with touches and kisses of her own. She skated her lips across his chest, nipping him, biting him, marking him so he pleaded with strangled sounds, but she wanted him to regret everything, everything that had happened in the past couple of months.

Stefan was torn between the pleasure of Elena’s lips claiming his body and the impatience to once more feel them against his, and he brought her back up to him with reverent, rough hands so that he could kiss her again, moaning into her mouth, as they made their way, clumsy and drunk, to the couch. Suddenly, he wrenched away from her, his expression aroused and raw and pained.

“It’s too soon.” He was shaking his head frantically. “This is too soon.” 

“What are you talking about?” said Elena, breathlessly. She crossed her hands at the hem of her shirt and peeled it off in haste, and what little resolve there was in Stefan’s expression crumpled at the sight of her. “It’s been a lifetime.” 

He didn’t move when she walked up to him. She slipped her hand beneath his waistband so that he squeezed his eyes shut and stuttered when he spoke.

“It’s -- It’s too much,” he said. 

And Elena understood. He hadn’t forgiven himself for the arguments they had, the things she’d pushed him to say.

 “Stefan,” she said, as she continued to feel him and please him, her touch an indication of her forgiveness, of the fact that there was nothing to forgive.  “Come home.” 

He exhaled sharply and then he was kissing her everywhere, feeling her everywhere, embracing her so tightly, pressing her into him so firmly, as though he wanted them to physically meld. He lifted her onto him and sat on the couch so that they were entwined. His face was buried in her and he whispered against her skin, “I’ve missed you.”  

Elena shivered and sighed dreamily. “I---”

Fire. Sudden fire. Spreading everywhere. Fast. Impossibly fast. From nowhere, from everywhere. Quickly, Stefan and Elena disentangled, terrified and confused. Flames engulfing the carpet, the tables, the walls. 

“Run! RUN!”

Stefan took Elena by the hand and they sped out of the room. 

Katherine heard the yelling from within the Salvatore Boarding House and she smiled grimly at the panic, the fear. Stefan could not be surprised. She’d warned him. Repeatedly. And yet, she knew he thought she was making empty threats. Time and time again, he and Elena, and Damon, and everyone, they’d underestimated her. Time and time again, they’d forgotten her reach, the friends she’d made, the people she’d had in her debt. They’d forgotten that she’d been alive for centuries. If she wanted a witch, she’d find one. If she wanted vengeance, she’d get it. If she wanted Stefan, she’d have him.

It took him a day to get to Mystic Falls but the witch she’d once spent the night with, the witch who had pledged to be there for her always, no matter what, had come when she’d called in a favour. And now he was here. Next to her. He spelled all the exits shut. He brought the fire to life. He helped her with her vengeance. 

“It’s like I said, Stefan,” she spoke, knowing that even with all of the commotion, he’d be able to hear her. “If I can’t have you, no one will.”

[canirove]

Back in Bluebell | Chapter 17

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Masterlist

“I can't wait for your daddy to find out you exist” I say while looking at myself in the mirror and caressing my bump. Or my nonexistent bump according to Amy. It apparently still is too soon to start showing, and since it is my first pregnancy, it usually takes longer. But if you ask me, there is something there already.

Because her suspicions and then mine were right. I am pregnant. 

Though confirming it and making sure everything was ok hasn't been easy.

Due to my new bodyguard following me almost everywhere and living glued to me, we had to ask one of Amy's friends to buy me a test and then sneakily take it at her house during one of my visits. When I'm there my bodyguard just drops me off and waits until I call him to pick me up again, making it the only place besides my room where I'm not in constant tension and thinking someone is listening to me and watching my every step, so it was the perfect place to do it.

When the word pregnant showed up on the test’s screen, the weeks I was along matching perfectly with Valentine's Day, I experienced everything you can probably experience. From happiness because this was mine and Mason's baby, to worry because after a lot of thought and finally deciding I wanted to start a family with him one day, this was happening way too soon and I wasn't ready yet, to fear because if George and his father found out, they could force me to have an abortion. We all know it would not be the first time.

Once I had that confirmation, I needed to see a doctor to make sure everything was ok with me and my baby, and that was a bit of an adventure. 

Amy called her doctor, who she completely trusts, and we met with her at a spa. Yes. A spa. She has taken me there a few times in the past, and our bodyguards has never followed us inside since it is a private place with its own security, making it perfect. 

She had the doctor book her own room there, we “spontaneously” crossed paths with her, went into her room to have a drink and catch up (we talked about all this in a public place so the security cameras could pick it up just in case), but instead of sharing a bottle of champagne, I was having an ultrasound since she had somehow sneaked in a portable scan. 

Thankfully everything was perfect with me and the baby, and now here I am. Here we are. 

“Fuck!” I jump when someone knocks on my room's door, quickly pulling down my jumper.

“May I come in?” George says.

“Yes, of course. I was just checking myself in the mirror to make sure everything looks good” I say with a nervous laugh.

“You look beautiful, Leah. I mean, Emilia. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Thank you.”

“Though you are missing something.”

“Am I?” I say, looking at my reflection again. I was wearing everything Amy had picked for me.

“This” he says, giving me a little box. 

“You didn't have to get me anything, George. I have enough jewellery already.”

“There is never enough jewellery, Le… Emilia. Sorry” he chuckles. “Open it.”

“Ok” I say, doing as he has asked me. “George!” I gasp. “This… this is stunning” I say while caressing the necklace inside the box.

“A stunning piece for a stunning woman” he smiles. “Here, let me help you put it on. I think it looks perfect with what you are wearing today.”

“It does, yes. Thank you” I say, focusing on the necklace and not on his fingers touching my neck and my hair.

“You're welcome” he smiles again. “See? Perfect. Or almost.”

“Uh?”

“You can't wear such an expensive and exquisite piece of jewellery while also wearing that” he says, pointing at my other necklace. At the one Mason had gotten me for Christmas. “Take it off.”

“What?”

“Take it off, Emilia. I don't want to see you wearing that cheap thing.”

“No.”

“Emilia…”

“No” I repeat, touching it. “I'll hide it under my jumper so it isn't visible, but I am not taking it off.”

“I don't care if it is visible or not. I will know it is there, and I don't want you wearing that thing.”

“I said no, George” I say, taking a step back. 

“God, you really love that Mason guy, don't you? Because he gifted you that trinket, didn't he? Only someone like him could buy something so ugly.”

“It isn't ugly.”

“Ugly and cheap, Emilia. So take it off. If you don't do it, I will.”

“What?”

“Take off the necklace, Emilia” George says, closing the space I had put between us. “Now.”

“Fine” I say, doing as he's asked. “Happy now?”

“Very” he smiles. “Now, let's go. We can't be late for tonight's dinner. You know how important it is for my father and his campaign since all the big names who support him will be there.”

“Yeah.”

“And oh, Emilia” George says, stopping when he makes it to the door. “Hide that thing somewhere where I won't see it ever again. If I do, I'll get rid of it.”

“I will, don't worry.”

“Good” he says. “You are my wife, Emilia. Not his. Mine. Don't forget about it.”  

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Now this is more like it” George's grandmother says when she sees me. “You are glowing, Leah!”

“Thank you” I smile. 

“Have you been taking the juice I told you about? I have been doing it for decades, and look at me. Barely a cold in years, and I look younger than ever” she chuckles. “Oh, there is William. I'm going to say hello to him. Amy” she says when she joins us.

“Ma'am” she smiles. “You haven't been drinking that horrible thing she talks about, have you?” she asks me once George's grandmother has left us alone.

“I haven't, don't worry.”

“Good. I was forced to try it once after I married William, and dear God. Just thinking about it makes me gag” she grimaces. “Besides, if she looks this young it's because of all the botox and jobs she's been getting over the years and because she's the devil reincarnated.”

“Amy!” I laugh.

“What? Being evil and looking young go hand in hand. Look at all the fairytales” she shrugs. “Anyway, how are you? Are you feeling better today?”

“I am, yes. I think the nausea has finally been defeated.”

“Good” she smiles.

“Amy! Emilia! Come over here!” George's grandmother says. “We must take a photo!”

“Duty calls” Amy sighs.

“Yeah” I reply. 

“C'mon. We don't want to make her wait” she says, linking her arm with mine. “I've heard that when she gets angry the horns come out, and they are disgusting.”

“Amy!” I laugh again. “You love the woman, don't you?”

“With my whole heart” she laughs. 

“I love seeing you smile” George says when we join the whole family.

“Thank you” I reply as he wraps his arm around my waist and I try my best to relax my body and not flinch, remembering what Amy had told me a few days ago: I needed to start being nicer with him.

A smile here, some nice words there, being the one who holds his hand first and not the other way around… things that would show him that I want things to be better between us even if it is a lie. 

Because despite everything that has happened, he still loves me. And if I want to protect myself and especially my baby, I need him to keep being on my side and believing that things can be fixed between us. I need to keep giving him hope.

“I'm sorry about earlier” I say while his grandmother orders everyone around for the photo, the photographer included.

“Uh?”

“About our argument because of the necklace and how I reacted. I… I should not have been wearing it, it's not good for anyone. I'm sorry, George.”

“It's ok” he says. 

“Thank you for letting me keep it, tho. You didn't have to yet you did. That was really kind of you. Thank you” I say, kissing his cheek and catching him by surprise.

“I… umm…” he mumbles. “You're welcome.”

“Alright, is everyone ready?” his grandmother says. “Good. Say family, everyone!”

“Family!” we repeat, George squeezing my side in that loving way he used to do when we were together. When I thought he was different.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“So this is why you've been so nice with me lately instead of giving me murderous looks! This is why you apologized about the necklace! You were playing with me!”

“George…” I say while he paces around his father's office.

“I can't believe I fell for it. I am so stupid! How long have you known about it?” he says, looking at his father.

“A couple of weeks.”

“And you didn't tell me?” he says. “You've known she was pregnant for that long and didn't tell me?” 

“I was waiting for the right moment to do it.”

“The right… I can't believe it” George laughs, starting to pace once again. 

He knew I was pregnant. Everyone knew. And by tomorrow, so would the whole country. And how? Because his father had announced it during his speech at the dinner, catching everyone by surprise. George and I included. 

We had had to act as if we both knew, smiling and pretending to be happy about the news while everyone congratulated us. But neither of us were. 

I could feel it on the way George hand was squeezing my side, the loveliness he had shown earlier during the photo completely gone. And in my case, you could have found out if you had been in the restaurant’s bathroom with me and Amy and heard our conversation.

“I trusted you, Amy! I thought you were my friend and you betrayed me!” I had told her.

“I promise you I haven't said anything to anyone, Emilia” she had replied. “I don't know how he found out, but it wasn't through me.”

“Sure” I had snorted.

“It wasn't me. I swear it on my kids. He must have had someone else following us, or… I don't know. But it wasn't me, Emilia. I haven't told a soul.”

“Too late” I had said while wiping away my tears, leaving the bathroom and not crossing another word with her for the rest of the night, avoiding her every time she tried to talk to me again.

“How did you find out?” George asks his father. 

“Her doctor.”

“What?” I say, finally daring to look at him. Since the moment we had arrived at the house after the dinner, I hadn't been able to look at him. I knew he was smiling from ear to ear, feeling all smug because he had caught me once again and had me under his power even more than I already was. And with how angry I was at basically everyone in this bloody family, I would have ended up punching him in the face and I couldn't risk doing something so stupid. 

“It was Amy's idea, wasn't it?” he says. “That doctor has taken care of her pregnancies and she thinks she is someone she can trust. But what poor Amy doesn't know, is that her doctor has been one of William's lovers for years.”

“What?” George and I say at the same time.

“She actually is one of the regulars” his father says. “They had a meeting a couple of weeks ago, she got a bit drunk, and told him everything.”

“So Amy…”

“She didn't betray you, no.”

“Emilia, where do you think you are going?” George asks me when I get up from the sofa where I was sitting.

“To talk with Amy, of course. I must tell her everything. I must apologise to her. I…”

“You are not going anywhere” he says, grabbing me by the arm.

“Let go of me, George. You are hurting me.”

“Good” he says with a twisted smile. “Now you know how I feel after finding out you let yourself get pregnant by that bartender. After knowing that you are carrying his bastard child.”

“The only bastards here are you and your family!” I say, trying to free myself from his grip.

“What did you just call us?” he says, twisting my arm a bit more.

“Bastards.”

“You…”

“C'mon, George. Hurt me. That's what you want to do, isn't it? Do it! Be a man for once in your life!”

“I can't believe I've loved you” he spats after a few seconds in silence, letting go of me and pushing me against the sofa.

“Likewise” I reply.

“Enjoy carrying that bastard while it lasts, Emilia. It may not be for too long.”

“You won't dare!” I say, standing up again.

“He won't, Emilia” his father says. “'ll make sure of it.”

“What?” George replies. “Are you mad, father? She is carrying another man's child! Her lover's child! Why should we allow her to keep it? Their mere existence is an insult to me! To our family!”

“I know. But it benefits my campaign.”

“How the fuck does a bastard benefit you?”

“My baby isn't a bastard!” I say, George's father holding me before I jump at him.

“It is, Emilia. I am your husband, remember? Me, not that bartender. That makes that… thing a bastard.”

“That thing?” I gasp.

“Emilia, stop” his father says. “Both of you need to stop. This isn't good for anyone, and especially not me.”

“I can't believe this” George laughs. “My wife has gotten herself pregnant by her lover, and you only worry about you?”

“Yes, I do. Because what affects me, affects the whole family, George. If I go down, you all come with me. That's why we must turn this not very pleasant news into something that will benefit us.”

“You are going to use my baby for your campaign, aren't you? You actually already are” I say. “You announced my pregnancy during tonight's dinner because it solidifies what you are standing for. Your whole campaign is based around the concept of a united and, of course, traditional family, and this is part of it. You… You are disgusting!”

“Maybe. But if you want to see that child be born, you will do as I say. You both will” he says, looking at George.

“You've lost your mind, father. You… I'm getting out of here” he says. 

“George, you won't.”

“Yes, I am” he replies. “But before I do it…” he says, stopping at the door. “You are not allowed to leave this house or to see anyone, Emilia. Not even Amy and the kids.”

“What?”

“You want to keep that bastard, don't you? Then besides following whatever my father has planned for you… for us… that's what you are going to do until you give birth.”

“You can't do that! He can't do that!” I say, looking at his father, who just shrugs. “I already told you earlier today, Emilia. I am your husband. And as such, I can do whatever I want with you. Enjoy” he says with a twisted smile before leaving.

[grayscale-sparks]

it’s still Valentine’s Day in my time zone hush

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY EVERYONE!! I bring you an offering of a Charlie Dowd/Noel Finley fic. It’s very cute and I’m giggling over it anyway-

“Sixteen” by Grayscale Sparks

3k words | Charlie Dowd/Noel Finley | Valentine’s Day | they’re dumb teenagers in love what do I say | gen audience | first kiss

Charlie Dowd knew what day it was. He’s been through this day sixteen times with way more than sixteen daydreams. 

He wasn’t stupid.

Harper’s Hill was a small town, a middle of nowhere stop right between somewhere important. It was times like this where Charlie would say that everyone knew each other, but that would be a lie.

Everyone, however, knew a certain teenage heartthrob. 

Noel Finley.

The name sounded like a late night jazz club. It sounded like racing hearts and quick grins and-

“Charlie!”

Charlie jolted back to attention. “Huh?”

“Quit dozing off on me.” Noel said, giving his best friend a shove. “Are you thinking about someone special?”

Charlie’s face burned with embarrassment. “No. Shut up. Why are we here again?”

“I told you. I have a date.” Noel said. “Which tie?”

“Yellow.” Charlie muttered. 

“I look shit in yellow!” Noel protested. Charlie rolled his eyes. He highly doubted Noel looked shit in anything. “You, however… okay, I see it.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Noel said. He added the yellow tie to his pile.

“I thought you looked shit in yellow.” Charlie said as Noel continued searching through the ties.

Noel grinned. “But you don’t. You’re coming with me.”

Charlie blinked. “I’m coming with you. On your date?”

“It's at the fair, dumbass.” Noel said. “We’re going to get you a date too. Double dates are all the rage nowadays.”

“Sure thing.” Charlie said. “And uh, blue. You look really good in blue.”

Noel grinned. “Thanks.”

After buying their new clothes, they went to Noel’s house to change. Hannah, Noel’s sister, was doing the same. Her mother was braiding her hair while she talked about a boy in her class she hoped to meet there.

Noel rolled his eyes. “Mason Fuller. You know him?”

“Can’t say I do.”

“Well if all goes right according to her plan, you’ll be hearing everything about him. She’s crazy about the guy.” Noel shook his head. “I don’t see the craze.”

“Like you're any better.” Said Noel’s younger brother, Tommy. He wasn’t planning on going with them to the fair. He was ten and therefore didn’t believe in Valentine’s Day. Charlie didn’t blame him.

“What are you talking about?” Noel protested, shoving his brother’s shoulder lightly as he passed.

Tommy shoved him back. “It’s always Charlie this, Charlie that, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie-“

“Shut up!” Noel squawked. 

“Thomas, that’s quite different.” Their mother said lightly. The face Hannah was making said otherwise.

Noel, who was bright red now, pushed Charlie down the hall to his room. “Fuck, sorry. That dumbass.”

“No, it’s fine.” Charlie said faintly.

Noel talked about him?

Of course Noel talked about you, you’re his best friend. Shut the fuck up.

“Go change quickly.” Noel said. “We spent too long out.”

“Only because you insisted on getting coffee and, quote, enjoy the sunshine at the fountain for the whole morning.”

“Shut up, it was nice, go change.” Noel pushed his clothes into Charlie’s chest. “Shoo.”

Charlie changed in the bathroom, rolling his eyes at the yellow tie Noel had gotten him. Noel insisted on paying for both of them. He was working with his dad now, and confidently said that he felt like a proper adult paying for clothes himself. Charlie, who did not have a job, obliged.

Charlie folded his clothes and kicked Noel’s bedroom door with his foot. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah.” Noel said. He was standing in front of the mirror fighting with his tie. “Can you uh, can you help me out?”

Charlie tossed his clothes onto Noel’s bed. “Come here.”

Noel smiled weakly. “Dad usually helps me out but he’s at work so…”

“One day you’re going to learn how to tie your own ties.”

“No, that’s ridiculous.” Noel said. “I’ll always have you to tie them for me.”

Charlie bit his tongue and finished tying, giving it a little tug to straighten it out. Noel was an objectively handsome guy. Everyone knew that. It just so happened that Charlie had taken it upon himself to realize just how handsome he was a few years ago.

They were best friends. They did everything together. Noel was at his house last year, and had taken his shirt off in front of him to change.

Sure.

Yeah.

Everything went downhill from there.

It wasn’t Charlie’s fault that Noel was touchy and nice and flirted with anything that breathed. It wasn’t Charlie’s fault that Noel insisted that they were forever even if he had no idea what he was talking about.

Best friends forever.

It wasn’t Charlie’s fault he wanted more.

“Are you two ready yet? We’re going to be late.” Hannah shouted down the hall

Charlie didn’t realize he had stilled, gently holding Noel’s tie. Noel was staring at him, cheeks pink, eyes dancing across his face.

Charlie stepped back before he got any bad ideas.

“We’re coming.” Charlie called back, dusting the cotton and ache from his head.

It was, however, his fault for letting himself think Noel cared about him as more than a friend. That led to unwanted dreams and heartbreak.

Noel had a date with a girl tonight. Charlie had to keep that replaying in his head. 

He wasn’t the secret lover that he craved to be. He was the wingman.

The sun was beginning to set as they made their way to the fair. It was a local affair, put on by highschoolers that begged the mayor of the town for funding. Something about morale.

Yay, Valentine’s Day.

Everything was pink and red and white and decorated with hearts and cupids. The whole thing was ridiculous, but maybe that was because the sunset and warm string lights made Noel look like a god.

He shooed Hannah off as soon as they stepped inside the fairgrounds, but not before lecturing her about being safe and coming to find him if anything should happen.

“You know, I trust her.” Noel said. “I just don’t trust that son of a bitch Mason.”

“Cute date idea.” Charlie teased. “Stalk your sister’s date. I’m sure your girlfriend won’t mind. What was her name again?”

“Shay.” Noel said. “And we’re not dating.”

“And where is she now?” Charlie asked.

Noel shrugged. “No clue. I told her to meet me here but I don’t know where she is.”

Charlie frowned, scanning the fairgrounds. “Shay who? I don’t think I’ve met her.”

“She’s visiting family from Boston.” Noel said. Not an answer. “Do you want to get some food?”

“What if Shay from Boston comes back?” Charlie asked dryly.

“Doubtful.” Noel said. “I didn’t think she’d show up anyway.”

“Hey, wait.” Charlie said. “Don’t get sad on me. She doesn’t even go to our school, so it’s not like you’d get to see her. And if she stands you up on your first date then she is not worth it.”

Noel didn’t look too upset, but Charlie knew he was good at masking his pain. “Yeah, I know.”

“Noel.” Charlie said. “Seriously.”

Noel chewed his bottom lip. “Yeah. I know. Uhm… Charlie? Since we’re here, do you wanna get some food or something?”

Charlie scanned his face, but had no idea what emotions were bubbling beneath the surface. Noel was a relatively easy person to read, especially since Charlie knew him for so long, but none of the expected emotions were appearing on those fucking sapphire blue eyes.

“Sure.” Charlie said. “Let’s get something to eat.”

Charlie had never seen Harper’s Hill as busy as it was that night. Then again, his only socialization was through Noel, and Noel preferred to hang out with him.

They passed kids from school, but didn’t stay to chat long. “Okay. Real food, or ice cream sundaes.”

“Finley, you’re killing me.” Charlie said. “Ice cream.”

“Perfect.” Noel said with a grin. “I was thinking exactly the same thing.”

“Let me pay, Noel. You’ve paid all day.”

Noel poked his shoulder. “No way, I’m treating you.”

“I’m not your date.”

Noel bit his lip quickly, and Charlie knew it was a physical sign he was literally biting back something to say. His heart fluttered, foolish thoughts running through his head.

Am I? He wanted to ask. Was this all for me?

But no, that was stupid. Ridiculous even. Laughable, preposterous, he could go on with the synonyms.

“What do you want?” Noel asked.

“Classic, extra chocolate. And no cherries.”

“The cherries are the best part, Dowd.” Noel said.

“Fine, keep the cherries.”

Noel smiled, and went up to the booth to order. Charlie took a moment to scan the rest of the fairgrounds. It was dotted with couples and groups of friends trying to get dates. People would assume the same of Noel and Charlie. After all, that was the intention. Double dates were all the rage, according to Noel, so no doubt they’d end the night with girls.

Charlie had kissed a girl before. She’d asked him out, so he took her to the theater. He kissed her before dropping her off back home, because that was what you were supposed to do, right?

He’d also kissed a boy before. Sloppy and quick behind the bleachers after a game, pupils blown wide with equal parts attraction and fear. 

He’d thought of his best friend when he kissed that boy. 

He thought about whether his lips would be chapped or his hands would be soft, and what they would feel like on his neck and his stomach and-

“Sundae coming right up.” Noel said. “What are you staring at?”

Charlie tore his eyes away from a spot he’d latched onto before he ran away with his thoughts. “Hm?”

“Earth to Dowd.” Noel said with a fond smile. “Let’s go sit.”

There were tables set up, close enough to the highschool’s jazz band. They were playing something peppy, and Charlie let the music sink into his skin, grounding his thoughts one note at a time.

Noel was watching him with that same fond smile when he finally came back to himself.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Noel said, shaking his head.

Charlie moved the cherries from his sundae to Noel’s, and took a bite. Despite the winter chill hanging onto Harper’s Hill like death, Charlie felt warm and comfortable. He was wearing his father’s flannel lined coat, which was frankly ridiculous over his nice shirt and new tie. But at least he was comfortable.

Noel, that bastard, looked good as hell in a nice coat and scarf. He must have been cold, he’d always been sensitive to temperature, why didn’t Charlie insist he wear a better coat?

“You’re staring again.” Noel hummed. “Seriously, Charlie. What’s on your mind?”

And how do you tell him that it was him that was on your mind? It was always him, every waking moment. Every sleeping moment too. How was he to know that he was the only thing you thought of, the only thing you wanted, and it hurt like the fires of hell because he was the only thing you couldn’t have.

“Nothing.” Charlie insisted. It couldn’t have been further from the truth. Noel was everything.

“Look, Charlie.” Noel said, setting his spoon down on the obnoxiously pink tablecloth. “I wanted to-“

“Hey!” Both of them jumped at the sudden intrusion. “My friend back there wanted to say that you were really cute, and she wanted to ask you to dance.”

Sure enough, behind the girl in a red dress far too short for the weather, was a group of two other girls holding the arms of their friend, who was hiding her face in her hands with embarrassment. Charlie folded himself away, backing away from the conversation, disappearing.

Because of course.

Noel chuckled weakly. “I’m actually waiting for my date right now. Sorry.”

Her face fell. “Oh- oh. Okay. Uhm, what about you? Charlie right? Do you wanna dance?”

Noel bit his lip. He focused on his desert once more.

“Me too.” Charlie said awkwardly.

She backed off, going back to her disappointed friends. 

“Why’d you tell her no?” Noel asked.

And at the same time, Charlie asked, “You’re still waiting for Shay?”

Noel’s eyes widened. “What? Oh- no. I’m- I’m not.”

“Oh.” Charlie said. “Then why say no?”

“Why’d you say no?” Noel countered.

“I have food.” Charlie said defensively.

Noel nodded. “Me too.”

Tense silence fell between them, and screw it if Charlie wanted to go chase after those girls for a dance just to get away from it. Noel teased him relentlessly for being bad with silences, for always needing to fill it with useless conversation. It wasn’t his fault Noel always humored his useless conversation.

He was about to open his mouth to start one of those useless conversations, latching onto the first thing his racing mind came up with, but Noel beat him to the chase.

“Wanna get out of here?”

Charlie’s heart lurched. “What?”

“We’re pretty much done.” Noel said, gesturing to their empty sundae bowls. “So… D’you wanna get out of here?”

“We have to wait for Hannah.” Charlie said mechanically.

“Right.” Noel said, leaning back, dejected.

Charlie Dowd was not a strong man. He couldn’t stand Noel’s pout, and Noel that motherfucker knew that. “But sure. Let’s go.”

Noel lit up brighter than the pink and white lights criss-crossed above the tables.

They threw away their trash and Noel led them through the crowds out to the edge of the fairgrounds. Into the treeline, there was a perfect parting where the soft lights of the ferris wheel glittered.

“This is definitely a makeout spot.” Charlie said.

“Good thing we found it first.” Noel said.

Did he hear himself? Did he know how crazy he made Charlie?

Charlie took a moment to watch the Ferris wheel and listen to the jazz that echoed just far enough to reach them. This was a disconnect from reality.

And call him foolish, but Charlie loved those. If he was faced with a world where he could love Noel Finley with no repercussions, would he be strong enough to say no?

Charlie laughed to himself, and turned to face Noel.

Except the bastard was in a tree.

“What the fuck, Finley?” Charlie called up the tree. “What are you doing?”

“The view’s great up here!” Noel said. “Come on”

“The things I do for you.” Charlie muttered.

Noel watched him climb up and ungracefully pull himself on the branch beside him.

“I-“ Charlie said, huffing. “Hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Noel said. “Look. You can see the fairgrounds.”

Charlie looked, and sure enough, Noel had picked the perfect branch. The whole fair was visible, much smaller from up high. The world glowed golden and red, creating a pleasant bronze from their branch.

“It doesn’t feel real.” Noel whispered.

“Hey, dumbass.” Charlie said. “What really happened with Shay?”

“What?” Noel asked.

“You heard me.”

Noel buried his face in his hands. “Ugh. Don’t talk to me. That was dumb.”

“You asking out a city girl? Yeah it was.” Charlie said. “You’re asking to get your heart broken.”

Noel looked up, as if he was surprised at what Charlie had said. “Uh. Yeah. I know I am. But that’s- fuck.”

“What?” Charlie asked.

“Nothing!” Noel said quickly.

“Noel, you’re being weird.”

“So are you!” Noel protested, voice high. Defensive. Noel sobered. “Charlie.”

“What?”

“Shay isn’t real.”

“What?”

“I- fuck. I made up the story. I wanted to- this is going to sound really dumb.”

“You wanted to pretend to be cool with your fake girlfriend?” Charlie asked dryly.

Noel rolled his eyes. “Charlie, I know you’re smart. Put the pieces together.”

“I don’t know where the pieces are. It’s dark” Charlie said, heart racing. Conclusions were dangerous. Conclusions put a boy in jail under terms of a falsified burglary because his rich daddy didn’t want the news to spread. Conclusions were not made for Charlie Dowd and Noel Finley. “Use your words.”

“I wanted to go to the fair with you.” Noel said quickly, words stumbling over each other in the rush to get out. Noel looked like he was ready to jump off the branch. Charlie felt like he was going to fall.

“You did?” Charlie asked quietly. He wondered if there were any more pieces.

“Yes.” Noel muttered.

Charlie grabbed his arm, just in case the bastard really was going to jump off the branch. He knew Noel wasn’t above that, but he’d be damned before he let this go.

“Why?”

“Do I have to have a reason?” Noel asked quickly. “You’re my best friend.”

“Right.” Charlie said, letting his arm drop. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Noel bit his lip.

Charlie felt like his chest was being unraveled. “You’re going to bite through your lip one day.”

“CanIkissyou?”

Charlie jolted in surprise. “What?”

Noel folded over, head in his knees. 

“No, no. What did you say?”

“Nothing.” Noel said, voice muffled. It sounded thin with panic, and Charlie could barely hear over the pounding in his chest.

He wished he could hear the music from the fair, he wished he could see Noel’s face, he wished this were real goddamnit.

“Noel.” Charlie said evenly, trying to get his desperate thoughts back in line. “Did you… ask if you could kiss me? Because if so… yes.”

Noel was slow to un-bury his head. His whole face was red from embarrassment, but his eyes were wide. They were far enough from the fair so the gold glow didn’t make them green. Good. He looked better in blue.

A heart beat, and then Noel was lurching forward to kiss Charlie as if he’d take back his permission. As if. 

There was no fucking way he’d take back his permission any time soon. With one hand, Charlie cupped Noel’s face, and with the other he balanced them on the branch so they wouldn’t fall to their deaths.

If Charlie died before he got to properly kiss Noel Finley he’d be pissed.

But oh.

But here.

Charlie broke out into the stupidest grin, and hey it was kind of hard to kiss while smiling so wide, wasn’t that crazy? 

Noel pulled away, but Charlie kept his hand cupping his face, fingers just barely in his curls and hey maybe he could sink his hands in his hair that was new, that was a possibility.

Charlie was buzzing with excitement. Screw fireworks, this was a time bomb. But fuck if it wasn’t decorated in pink glitter and heart stickers because this is what youth felt like. What the fuck was he saying? Didn’t matter. Noel mattered. Noel right here, he asked if he could kiss Charlie. That was real, that mattered.

“Yeah?” Noel asked. 

“Speechless.” Charlie said breathlessly. No spoken words could convey the sparkling of his mind. “Come here.”

Noel obliged. He tasted the color of champagne bubbles and sapphire lakes and echoes of jazz and real this was real this was real.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Charlie.” Noel whispered against his lips.

Charlie couldn’t contain his giggle. Sixteen years and he’d never felt this alive. If he fell he could snap his neck. Wasn’t that crazy? Wasn’t this fucking wild?

Noel was kissing him.

“Happy Valentine's Day, Noel.”

If Noel told him they were floating in the clouds rather than sitting in a tree, Charlie would believe him.

So yeah, he could believe in forever.

[tabbedtabby]

calamitous love and insurmountable grief

johanna mason x reader

summary: On a hard grieving day for you, you recall an old holiday celebrated centuries before Panem.

a/n: valentine’s day oneshot!!! happy valentine’s day! inspired by a round of frantic fanfic me and my friends did (ty ruby) and the title is a lyric from the lakes by taylor swift bc i barely slept and don’t want to think of anything better. implied fem reader

cw: cringe 😓

words: 1.9k

——————————————————————

Your head lies limply on Johanna’s lap, your face expressionless as you stare deeply into nothing in particular. It was just one of those days for you. One day you’d wake up and be completely fine, skipping down the tile to the shops that make up the streets of District 7. The next, the memories would come surging back twice as strong and ferociously crippling as the last. The images of the dead stained under your eyelids; family, friends, even the soldiers you’d hardly taken the time to know during your fight against the Capitol. Some lost to your own hands, but most to Snow. It seemed impossible to think that he couldn’t reach you here, trying your hardest to forget about the Hunger Games and the war and the people you’ve lost. You’ve been trying to enjoy the little things again in this past month, taking a train out to District 7 with your girlfriend after Snow was assassinated, if you could call it that, really. Swarmed by the mob after Katniss’ arrow found Coin’s heart instead.

It happens to Johanna, too, so she gets it. She simply rests one hand in between the strands of your hair, her fingers brushing through the pieces as she fights with her own memories. She never knows quite what to say with these things, how to help. Often she opts for silence. She hasn’t cared for someone like this in so long. But Johanna has come to learn that her touch helps you more than words ever could. The feeling of her hands stroking your hair calms you, sedates that awful feeling that always seems to rise up into your throat like bile. It hasn’t taken long for her to learn how to calm your fears with just one simple touch, even if it’s something that goes unspoken between the two of you. Like a covert oath held together by the most lenient of hands, gentle fingers that have a tendency to care. Johanna’s touch is the type that draws all of the emotion out of you, like a magnet to its opposite end. Her hands absorb your fear and lead your mind to simpler things. A lantern in the dark, the only star in a polluted sky. Your mind wanders as you try to remember what you wanted to say to her.

“Did you know that before Panem, there was this holiday? About love. And you’d buy stuff for them. Like, your lover. It was called Valentine’s Day. Reading about it always made me wish I was alive back then.” you say, your brain reeling back to all those history books you’ve been reading to pass the time. You can almost feel Johanna’s eyebrow raise above you.

“Who wouldn’t? Worrying about stupid shit like that instead of getting reaped for a death match,” Johanna sneers, although the ferocity in her words isn’t directed at you. It never is. She’s always seemed to have a soft spot for you in that way.

“Yeah… it would have been today, you know. February 14th.” you say hesitantly, and your mind wanders back to those pages. The stores with the synthetic white lights overhead that illuminate the rows of heart-shaped boxes filled with chocolate delicacies. You’ve only ever had chocolate in the Captiol because of just how expensive it is. You’ve never been able to wrap your head around the idea of it being sold for so cheap, so common that it was purchased by millions to offer to their lovers. How simple their world seems to you. So different from the Panem you know. The Panem that condones violence, prejudice, the slaughter of children. But that Panem is one of the past now, too. Maybe humankind could return to such a silly holiday that revolves around love and stupid things like chocolate and flowers. Maybe Panem could finally heal after all the damage that was dealt.

Suddenly, you shoot up from Johanna’s lap, an idea forming in your head. Johanna just stares at you expectantly as you attempt to sort your thoughts into comprehendable words. Usually, it’s to no avail, but you need these words to reach Johanna’s ears right now or you’re going to explode.

“We should celebrate! We can both go out into town and get a gift for each other. It doesn’t have to be traditional, or anything too fancy. But I want to get you something. We can just pretend we really did live back then, before Panem. Before any of this.” you say, pushing the words out excitedly at the thought of celebrating anything at all, really. The aftermath of the war has been heavy and overbearing. There hasn’t been much room for fun or excitement or any of the childish feelings receiving a gift entails. This prospect is what has your eyes looking expectantly up at Johanna, on the edge of your seat for a response from her.

“Sounds stupid, but fine. Only because you look like you’re about to throw up.” Johanna decides, rolling her eyes, but you can see the small smile on her lips when she stands up. The excitement fizzes in your stomach as soon as the words leave her mouth. Something to look forward to! Not only that, but you get to give a gift to Johanna in return. This was the best thing that’s happened to you probably since you saw the life leave Snow’s eyes. Your life was filled too much with remorse and grief for your liking; even this small celebration was sure to bring some light back to your world.

Johanna is someone special. The only person left on this earth you’re sure you love. She’s not just anyone to bestow a gift upon, she’s Johanna Mason, for fuck’s sake, so you have to make sure you buy something meaningful. Something that she’s sure to cherish until her dying days. You sling some coins in your pocket and head out the door, heading in the opposite direction as Johanna into town so that you don’t run into each other while buying the gifts. Although, you’re both pretty famous around here so you doubt the shopkeepers will actually charge you for anything. The entirety of the country knew you as survivors of the Hunger Games, so most typically go pretty easy on you and Johanna. Even if their pity makes Johanna want to tear their limbs off one by one.

Your excitement shows by the way your feet bound you out onto the streets, taking quick glances at all of the shops open in the middle of the week. But as you bounce down the tile, you suddenly slow and realize you have no idea what a meaningful gift for Johanna would actually be. Being so soon after the war, chocolate was out of the question. Flowers were too simple; hell, if Johanna wanted flowers, she could have picked some in your yard herself. You think of getting something to aid her hobbies, but she doesn’t have many hobbies really except for cutting wood with an axe, and she’s already got plenty of those.

You begin to feel a bit defeated now as you wander around town, your bag of coins still clutched unused in the palm of your hand. You haven’t known Johanna for too long, but you thought you at least knew her better than this. You almost turn around until your eyes catch on the blacksmith shop.

On the front of the stand hangs an axe that must be completely forged out of metal, the sleek black and silver parts illuminated by the sunlight. It’d be impossible for it not to catch your eye walking down the path, the way that it shines in the very front of the stall. It must be a premium, because you’ve never seen an axe with a steel handle like that before. It’s heavy, sure, but Johanna’s managed to rebuild a lot of the muscle she lost when captured by spending so much time hacking away at firewood. Now that you think about it, the axes she uses must be older than she is because when she comes back home, you always have to fish splinters out of her fingers with your tweezers. As soon as that shiny, new titanium reaches your eyes, your coins are practically already in the blacksmith’s pockets.

No matter how much of your trauma was broadcasted on national television, a weapon like that is going to cost you a fortune. But the blacksmith recognizes you and offers to put something on the handle for free. You watch intently as he carves you and Johanna’s initials onto the handle with a small, neat heart on the end. Just the sight of it makes your lips raise in a smile with pride.

On your way back to Victor’s Village, you pick up a small box for the axe and buy some red ribbon to wrap around it, just for added effect. When you arrive home, Johanna’s already waiting outside for you, a larger, flatter box slung under her arm. She looks a bit bored, but her green eyes catch on you as you approach.

“Sorry. Took me forever.” you mutter through your grin as you walk up to her, already placing your box in her hands. Johanna smiles similarly, her lips a small smirk as the sunlight catches in her eyes. You can see the small flecks of brown in her eyes, a brighter green in the light than typical. Her hair has grown back curlier than before, the wavy strands ending just below her ears. You miss the red streaks in her hair. You wonder if she will dye them again once hair dye begins to be produced and sold again.

When Johanna takes the box from your hands, it’s almost like she can recognize the weight of an axe instantly. Growing up in District 7 will do that. “Nothing light, huh?” she grins, her eyebrows raising a bit knowingly as she tostles the box around a bit, hearing the metal slosh against the cardboard of the box. You can’t help but think she looks beautiful like that, with the sun dappled over her skin. You watch her almost distractedly until she hands you the box she had kept under her arm.

“Here, before I open mine.” Johanna says, her smirk widening just a bit as she looks at you intently. You smile back up at her as you take the box from her hands. It’s quite flat and almost weightless. You nearly drop it from expecting something heavier. You look up at her in question, and she just tells you to open it again. You roll your eyes, but the smile doesn’t leave your face as you gently take the top off of the box.

Your brows furrow in confusion as you slowly take your hand to touch the fabric in the box. It’s a piece of clothing. You gently unfold it, letting the box fall to the floor. It’s a dress, originally white, but cream around the edges with age. But it’s clear it’s well cared for, not a single stitch missing or a piece of lace misplaced. It’s beautiful. You nearly gape your mouth in shock as you run your fingers along the white satin, the pattern forming small flowers, and it feels silky smooth beneath your touch. Your eyes raise back to Johanna, the emotion clear in your gaze as she looks back at you with pride in her small smirk.

“I looked into one of your history books. White for weddings, right?”

[mountsmase]

Imagine you’re planning to tell mason your pregnant on Valentine’s Day, he’s been worried because you’ve been quite sick for little while, you wake up a lot with morning sickness. You get mason a cute card to tell him in the morning when you wake up and he’s over the moon obviously but he feels so bad because your morning sickness is terrible. He has to go to training but as soon as he gets home he pampers you and you have a cute Valentine’s Day at home. He wants to make sure your as comfortable as possible and does everything to make you feel better 🫶🏼

Imagine doing something cute like a card that reads ‘next year you’ll have 2 valentines’ or something along those lines 🥺 and he’s so confused at first because why would he have 2 valentines but then you hand him a box and it’s just simple black box with loads of tissue paper inside which is hiding a couple of positive pregnancy tests 🤭

You watch him as he opens it, knowing he’s going to be over the moon but you’re still nervous for his reaction (and the morning sickness definitely isn’t helping with the nausea) and you can see the exact moment he realises what’s inside, his whole entire face lighting up and he basically tackles you to the mattress, squeezing you so tight until he realises that’s probably not helping your morning sickness and then he lightens his hold and sits you upright to make sure you’re okay

His protectiveness makes you feel all fuzzy inside, realising how protected and loved your little one is going to be

[mountttmase]

Winter Sun - Chapter 6

Note - happy valentines guys 🥺 the second to last chapter I actually can’t believe it like how did we get here. I know a lot of you have been dreading this moment and won’t actually read it until next week but I hope you enjoy and I’m sorry in advance 😌🩷 I know it’s not the best thing to read on a day like today but I would love some feedback so please let me know what you think if you’d like to 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 8k

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut & angst

Masterlist

Waking up wrapped up in Masons arms wasn’t something you ever pictured at the start of this holiday. Another rule broken but you could look past this one.

He was adorable, his hair a mess as it fell over his forehead making him look even more boyish and charming than usual and his eyebrows were pinched together making him almost look irritated but it was his pretty pink pout you loved the most. Wanting to reach down so you could kiss him properly but you knew you shouldn’t.

As quickly and as quietly as you could, you got yourself out of his grip and made your way back to your room. Popping a gentle kiss on his head as you did so before getting ready for your last day by the pool. You wanted to get there a little earlier today just in case Ben was waiting for you and your suspicions were confirmed when you found him outside already.

‘You all ready for your lesson, y/n?’ Ben smiled as soon as you stepped outside and you nodded at him shyly.

Truth be told, you were a little apprehensive about coming out here today after the drama of yesterday. Not wanting everyone to look at you sympathetically or for anyone to make a fuss but thankfully it was just Ben and Woody out here for the moment and when the latter sent you a bright smile you returned it.

‘I think so’

‘Good I was researching all night and I think I’ve devised the perfect lesson’ he smiled proudly so after a big deep breath you made your way to the steps of the pool and Ben came to stand next to you. ‘It’s not so deep just here, should come to your waist so you’ll be alright’ he smiled but when he held his hand out you took it before following him into the pool.

You felt your knees shake a little with each step you took but soon enough you’d made it all the way down and Ben was right, the water was just past your waist and you felt like half the battle was done already.

You started off holding onto the sides, letting your body float with a little help from Woody before you could do it on your own and you began to kick your legs.

‘What’s going on out here?’ You suddenly heard, looking up to see Mason stood just outside the door with an unreadable expression on his face.

‘Swimming lesson’ Ben told him, looking up at him nervously as they hadn’t spoken since Mason snapped at him yesterday but you knew Mason couldn’t stay mad at him for long.

Mason didn’t answer, just nodded his head once before walking back inside and you felt your heart sink. He hadn’t even looked at you before going in and you wondered if you should follow him in but Ben was ready for the next part of your lesson so you just ignored it for now.

You and Ben were surprised at how quickly you managed to pick up the basics but no one was more surprised than Carly. Excitedly squealing as you showed her your new tricks before grabbing her phone to take some photos in order to commemorate the big moment.

Mason still hadn't come back outside even after everyone else had and once your lesson was over and once you’d dried off you still couldn’t find him inside anywhere but when you came outside again there he was sat. All on his own on the table to the opposite side of where the pair of you could normally be found.

You wanted to speak to him but his attitude this morning was making you feel unsure of yourself until you gave yourself a pep talk. This was Mason, the boy who kissed you like you were his own yesterday and whose arms you fell asleep in last night so you shook yourself off and made your way over to him.

‘Mase?’ You asked, standing in front of him so that he’d look at you and when he eventually did were shocked at his blank expression. ‘Why are you sat over here all alone?

He didn’t answer you, just shrugged before looking back at his phone and you didn’t know what to do. He’d never been this way with you before ever and you were shocked at how cold he was acting towards you after yesterday.

‘Can I get you a drink? Anything to eat?’

‘No thanks’

You were stumped, your tummy sinking lower the longer he looked away from you so eventually you did the only thing you could and walked away from him. Going back to your own lounger and sitting down but you could see Ben moving out of the corner of your eye.

‘I’ll go have a word with him. We haven’t spoken since yesterday so it’s probably me he’s in a mood with’ he told you. Watching him stalk off over to the other side of the pool and chat to Mason for a few seconds before their pair of them went out of sight.

You weren’t sure what you’d done to make him not want to talk to you or even sit by you so you let Ben go and see to him. Watching the pair of them stand up and walk down to the grassy area that was just out of sight and even though it was none of your business you were itching to know what they were talking about.

When they came back Mason was smiling and laughing with Ben but he still didn’t come and sit with you. Making it clear that it was you he had the issue with and you felt your eyes fill with tears. You tried blinking them away but it was no use, you were upset and confused and no longer wanted to be out there with him so you quickly got up and rushed back inside to your room. You knew he was watching you leave but he made no attempt to follow you and you didn’t know if you were sad or relieved about it.

‘Stop crying’ you whispered to yourself once you were in the safy of your bathroom. Fanning your face and dabbing your eyes to try and stop yourself having a full on meltdown but you were so confused by his actions you didn’t know how to behave.

You thought about spending the rest of the day in your room but that seemed a little dramatic so with one final look in the mirror you made your way outside again. Not before chucking on a cover up as you felt a little uncomfortable being so exposed in front of him again for some reason but by the time you were back outside Mason had moved again. Sat on his side of your shared lounger and your heart gave a thump at the sight of him.

You didn’t know what to do, would it be awkward if you went and sat there again? Or would it be more awkward if you went and sat somewhere else?

In the end you went back over, sitting up right as he was laid back and you made no attempt to even look at him until you felt his fingers close around your wrist. Turing to look at him with a blank expression as his eyes looked deeply into yours.

He didn’t say a word, just patted his chest with his free hand as an invitation for you to lay on him and even though you desperately didn’t want to give into him that quickly you felt yourself shuffling around to face him. Laying back in his arms so you could place your head on his chest and when he squeezed you tightly you felt yourself on the brink once more.

‘Why did you get dressed?’ He asked you quietly, his hand reaching up and under your top so he could lightly run his fingers across your skin but you just shook your head as you nuzzled into him further. Not able to string a few words together as you were feeling shy and unsure of yourself but he only held you tighter.

You knew this was his way of saying sorry without actually saying it and even though you so desperately wanted to talk to him about what was bothering him, you also didn’t want to push your luck and push him away any further away.

So you laid there in silence. Listening to one another’s breathing as Ben's music played over the speakers in the background. The warm sun on your skin as you soaked up the last of it that you could only for it to hit you that this was probably the last time you’d be able to lay like this with Mason out here.

Everything seemed to have turned into a mess overnight and the prospect of this being the last time you could do this together had you subconsciously cling onto him a little harder.

‘I’m just popping inside to get a drink’ he suddenly murmured against you forehead, pulling away slightly but in your panic you held him in place.

‘I can get that’ you told him, the incessant need to please him taking over as you went to sit up but he was holding onto you tightly and you couldn’t move.

‘It’s okay, I’ll get it’ he whispered. ‘Would you like anything?’

‘No thanks’ you told him. Releasing him so he could go and when he came back you noticed he had a bottle of water for you anyway.

This time he didn’t invite you to lay with him, crawling next to you and placing his head on your chest this time and your hand automatically went into his hair so you could run your fingers through it. Feeling him hum into your neck as you stroked his skin and when he reached up under your top again you let him. His fingers splayed out against your ribs so he could hold you close before hooking his leg over yours.

You felt him shuffling about again soon after. Keeping his hand on your body but rolling you onto your side as he laid his head on the pillow next to yours so you could face each other. The small smile on his lips settled you slightly but his sad eyes were throwing you off.

Ever the unexpected, he lent forward just a touch to place a kiss on the end of your nose before settling back down again. Shutting his eyes but you didn’t follow suit. You wanted to really look at him but you hated the way your heart thumped in your chest as you did.

You’d hadn't realised it until this week but he really was the prettiest man you’d ever seen. There was nothing about him you didn’t like and looking at him like this was making your tummy flutter.

Suddenly his eyes snapped open, boring into yours and you knew you’d been caught looking at him. Your cheeks flushing as soon as his lips curved up into a little smile before you watched him raise his head. Looking around to see if anyone was looking your way or paying attention to him but everyone must have been preoccupied as he swiftly dipped his head to place the softest and sweetest kiss to your lips.

‘Sorry’ you whispered but he didn’t reply. Just pulled you further into his body again so you could cuddle into his chest but this time you let yourself go. Falling asleep on him as he pressed kisses to your head every so often.

No matter what the pair of you did that day, Mason was by your side. When you went inside to make some lunch he was there, helping you get everything you needed as he trailed his fingers across your skin repeatedly.

When the rest of the boys asked if he wanted to join them for a quick game on the grass he told them he was too tired and fell asleep with his head in your lap as you chatted away to the girls until you all decided it was getting late and you wanted to get ready for tonight.

Mason still wasn’t very talkative even though he was being clingy and you wanted to do something to snap him out of it so you found your most outrageous outfit in hopes the tight black leather skirt and off the shoulder top would lift his mood but you were nervous to see him again after how today had gone.

Carly texted to let you know she was ready and heading to the living room so you grabbed your bag and headed out to join her. Mason clearly had the same idea as you and was leaving his room at the same and your mouth went dry as you looked him up and down.

He always dressed well but he looked so sexy right now. His white vest hugging him in all the right places and not leaving much to the imagination as his baggy trousers sat nicely on his hips whilst the white over shirt tied it all nicely together. His white outfit unconsciously making the pair of you look like yin and Yang and you felt drawn to him. Walking towards him like he had some sort of magnetic force but it was the look in his eyes that made your knees weak.

He looked hungry, eyes flickering all over your face as he met you in the middle of the hall and you wanted to melt into him. His hand coming up to cup your face and you lent into his palm as his eyes focused on your lips. Licking his own subconsciously as he leant forward, bumping your nose gently before leaning down to kiss you but the sound of Carly’s voice from upstairs made you both stop in your tracks. His lips barely a centimetre from yours as his warm breath fanned your face but he was pulling back, placing his lips on your forehead now before linking his fingers through yours and walking you upstairs.

He dropped your hand as you neared the top. Not wanting anyone to see you like that together but the thing that confused you was the way he didn’t want to even stand near you now. Sticking with the boys as they tried to order a taxi and when they eventually came you ended up in two different ones.

Dinner was fine, Mason perked up a little and it was the most you’d heard him speak all day but the only issue was he was talking to everyone else but you. Thankfully with everyone joining in you didn’t feel too awkward about it but you didn’t get to share dessert like usual and your heart felt heavier the more the evening went on.

The bar you had booked for the evening was only a short walk away and you stuck with Lauren as Mason spoke to Chilly in front of you and when he didn’t wait for you to go in with him you felt even worse linking your arm through Lauren’s as Dec guided you to your table.

You’d noticed it all week, girls eyes lingering on Mason but his eyes rarely left yours so you never worried about him going to speak to anyone else. Tonight was different though.

He was looking everywhere but you, standing and chatting with Woody and Kayla and you stuck to Carly’s side as you needed a laugh and she was always the best person to go to for that.

Eventually all the girls were together, squeezed in a booth with Lauren on your other side now but when the boys came back from the bar Mason was nowhere to be seen.

‘Where’s Mase?’ Carly asked, looking up at Ben in confusion but when he nodded back to the bar with a cheeky smile your tummy dropped for the millionth time that day. You knew what that face meant and you didn’t want to hear it at all.

‘He’s chatting some girl up at the bar. I think she’s Italian so she barely understands him’

‘Of course he is’

‘Hey give the guy a break, he’s been good all week, barely looked at anyone so no one got uncomfortable with some random girl around. Let him let his hair down a bit’

‘Is that why he’s had a face like a slapped arse all day?’ Dec laughed, sitting himself next to Lauren before reaching over to tap your knee. ‘You next then, y/n? I’ve been waiting all week to set you up with someone’

‘I’m alright, thanks’ you smiled, looking down at your lap but you didn’t miss the look in his eyes. Deep down you knew he knew something was going on but you were too upset thinking about Mason talking to another girl to think about that right now. You were just thankful at least you couldn’t see him for now.

It was difficult trying to talk to everyone when you were feeling so miserable. Trying to smile and keep up with what everyone was saying but you knew you kept going in on yourself and staring into space and ignoring everyone.

‘You okay?’ Carly whispered, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as you were in your own head and the sound of her voice made you jump.

‘Y-yeah sorry, just in my old little world there’ you laughed but the look of concern on her face made you squirm.

‘Are you sure? Has something happened? I know what you’re like and you like to bottle it in but you would tell me wouldn’t you?’

‘Yeah, of course’ you breathed, downing the rest of your drink before sending her a smile. ‘Do you fancy a dance? I could do with shaking my butt around a bit’ you laughed and thankfully she agreed. Pulling the rest of the girls with you but as soon as you were out from the safety of the booth you were right in his eyeline.

You could only see the back of her but you could tell she was his type from a mile off. Petite but curvy and leggy with tanned skin and flowing shiny hair but it was his hand resting on her waist that was the real kicker. Hers on his chest as she laughed at whatever he was saying in her ear and the sight made your skin prickle uncomfortably.

It was fair to say you’d been tipsy most nights on this holiday, but all you could think about right now was getting black out drunk. You didn't even want to acknowledge Mason existed right now so on your way to the dance floor you stopped by a different bar and grabbed some shots. Downing them like they were water but they were having the desired effect. Joining the girls and for once you didn’t care what you looked like or if Mason was watching and liked what he saw. You were having fun with your girls like you should have done this whole week and when a waitress came by with a tray of shots you got one everytime.

You could barely see or hear a thing, all you could do was feel the music as it moved through you and under any normal circumstances you knew it was silly to get in this state but right now you just wanted to forget everything and everyone.

You stumbled back to your table alone. Wanting to down some water before you went back to dance again and you noticed Mason still wasn’t with the boys. Your eyes searching for him and you spotted him sitting at a different table with the girl from the bar and a few of her friends who all appeared to be fawning over him and you could tell he was in his element. Not even paying you a glance whilst you were nearby and you couldn’t help but let out a scoff as you finished your water.

‘You okay?’ Woody asked, holding into your arm as you stumbled slightly but you just sent him a bright smile in hopes he’d see you were fine.

‘I’m gooooood’ you slurred, tapping his chest lightly. ‘Gonna go back for a dance’ you told him, watching both of his faces look at you with a frown before you felt someone else’s hand on your shoulder.

‘Come on, we’ll come with you’ Ben told you, linking your arm as Woody took the other and even though you knew you shouldn’t, you risked a glance back over to Mason who was still flirting his little socks off but you could see Dec going over to join him now.

As soon as you were back on the safety of the dance floor you felt yourself let go again. Watching Ben join Carly as they whispered about something and you knew it was about you from the way she was looking at you.

You wanted to know what they were saying, getting ready to go and join them until you felt someone’s hands on your waist and you knew who it was immediately. Masons aftershave overtaking your senses as he pressed himself into your back but you were in no state to fight him off. Melting into his body like you always did and you cursed yourself for having this reaction.

‘You alright?’ He asked in your ear. Goosebumps rising on your skin immediately but his sudden concern for you was making you angry.

‘What do you care’ you mumbled loud enough for him to hopefully hear as you tried to pull away from him but he was too strong for you. Holding you flush against his body and you thought better than to try and wiggle away again.

‘Let’s go sit down okay?’ He told you, pulling you off of the dance floor and back over to your table where there were a few bottles of water sitting waiting. He opened one for you immediately and helped you take a few glugs before tilting your face up to meet his.

Even blurred you hated how pretty he was, his brows furrowed into a frown as his eyes scanned your face and you wanted to pull away from him but you couldn’t. He was your weakness and even if he’d been dangling other girls in your face tonight you still wanted to be next to him now.

‘I’ll get you something to eat, yeah? Sober you up a bit’

‘Whatever’ you huffed, pulling your face out of his grip so you could go back to sulking and he left you to it. Disappearing for five minutes before coming back with a white box.

‘I had to bribe the bouncer so I could bring these in so you better eat them. Most expensive chips in the world, these’ he told you, opening the box up and setting them in front of you. Even though you were mad at him your heart still fluttered at the way he’d made sure there was a little blob of mayo on the side.

You didn’t thank him, but sat and ate your chips quietly between sips of water. The room slowly stopping spinning as you ate and when Mason put his arm around you so he could pull you closer you let him.

‘You alright now?’ He asked in your ear, kissing your temple gently as he reached for a chip but you just let him. Not wanting to talk to him after he’d barely said a word to you all day and he knew you were pissed at him. ‘Not gonna answer me no?’ He chuckled, his tone infuriating you but you didn’t have a chance to fight back. Everyone else coming back to join you and eyeing your box of chips curiously.

‘Another round?’ Woody asked the group, everyone cheering but Mason shook his head for the pair of you and you huffed out of annoyance.

‘I’ve only just got you back to semi sober, no more yeah’

You again didn’t answer him with words. Shrugging your shoulders as he laughed in your ear before kissing the nape of your neck. You hated how affectionate he was being, but you also didn’t want to part from him so you just sat quietly as he spoke to the others. Trying to ignore Carly’s glances from across the table as you knew she’d picked up on your mood and you’d have to come up with some sort of explanation.

‘I hope I didn’t ruin everyone’s night’ you told her as you all started to leave later on in the early morning. Choosing to walk back as you weren’t too far but thankfully Ben and Mason were trailing behind so you could speak to Carly in front of them. ‘I didn’t mean to get so drunk’

‘No you’re fine’ she smiled, linking her arm through yours even tighter. ‘Is everything okay though?’

‘Yeah fine I just, maybe I’m a bit worried about the flight tomorrow’ you told her. Again feeling awful for lying but it was technically true. The thought of a few hours next to a silent Mason as you freaked out in the sky was eating away at you but as always Carly reassured you things were fine and she’d be there if you needed her.

‘You sure that’s all? I know what you’re like and I know you like to keep it all inside’ she told you. Her tone was soft and not accusatory at all and you felt your lip wobble at how understanding she always seemed to be. ‘You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to but if you need to then I’m always here’

‘I know Carly, you know I’m bad with my words sometimes but you know you're my go to when I’ve sorted myself out and built up the courage’

‘I know’ she laughed. Wrapping her arm around your shoulder so you could hug while you walked back. ‘And when you’ve built it up again, you come and find me, yeah?’

‘I promise’ you whispered. Wanting to break down and spill everything to her there but you couldn’t. It was against the rules.

The boys came and joined you closer to the house, Mason reaching for your hand but you wrapped your arms around yourself so he didn’t get the chance and he kept his hands to himself after that. Stuffing them into his pockets and keeping his head down as he followed you inside to say goodnight to everyone.

When the time came, you followed Mason down to your rooms. Not even acknowledging him as you made it to your doors and you quickly opened yours before shutting it tight, hoping he would get the message you didn’t want to talk but only a few seconds later you heard a few gentle taps.

You knew what would happen if you let him in and even though he’d been off with you all day and had pissed you off beyond belief you still found yourself walking over there and opening it for him.

‘Can I come in?’

You didn’t answer with words, just shrugged before turning away and walking back in your room. Not even bothering to look to see if he’d followed but you soon enough heard the door click shut and felt his presence behind you.

‘You still don’t wanna talk to me?’

‘You haven’t spoken to me all day pretty much’ you shrugged, facing away from him as you took your shoes off.

‘That’s not true’

‘I’m not gonna argue with you’ you told him, hoping you could brush past him to get to your suitcase but he was quick to stop you.

‘Come here’ he sighed, taking hold of your arm gently so he could turn you to face him before cupping your jaw with his free hand. His soft eyes on yours and you tried not to melt under them but as always he was making it difficult for you. ‘It's our last night here, I don’t want us to be upset with each other.

‘Apart from that half an hour you sat with me you ignored me all night, Mason’

‘You were busy-‘

‘No you were busy’ you told him, pulling out of his grip and you watched his eyes turn hard.

‘Bit like you were busy this morning huh?’

‘What are you on about?’

‘Forget it, I’m going to bed’ he huffed, turning away from you and back over to the door but the sight made you finally lose your cool.

‘You’re fucking infuriating sometimes I swear’ you exploded. ‘You’ve spent the whole night with a load of random girls in your lap and you think I’ll want to just hang out with you now?’

‘Why do you care?’

‘Cause it’s one of the rules, remember? No flirting with other people but it’s fine when you do it? You barely say a word to me today but just because you got me some chips you think everything’s fine now?’

‘Can you not see I’m trying to protect you? Protect us? All week I’ve been dodging questions about us so I thought I’d make it look believable if I talked to someone else. It didn’t fucking mean anything. As for the rules, it was one not to kiss but we’ve done that multiple times’ he fought back. His voice louder than he’d intended it to be but you were furious and passed caring if anyone heard you.

‘Oh whatever, you just say and do whatever you want to get your own way’

‘You want me to do what I want yeah?’ He growled, slamming his fist against your door before reaching for you and pressing you up against it with his hand wrapped tightly around your throat. ‘Cause all I’ve wanted all night was to fuck you senseless. Why do you think I haven’t been around you huh? Cause I can’t fucking control myself around you anymore’

You couldn’t deny his little outburst excited you and when he squeezed the sides on your neck that little bit tighter you couldn’t control the whimper that left your lips.

‘Fucking do it then. If that’s what you want’

‘Is it what you want?’ He whispered, eyes burning into yours and all you could muster was a little nod. ‘Words baby, I need you to tell me with words’

‘Yes’

You couldn’t talk anymore after that. His lips claiming yours as your knees went weak but thankfully you were still pressed up against the door by his body and when he reached down to hoist your legs up around his waist you jumped to help as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

‘You want me to fuck you here yeah? Fuck you up against this door like the little brat you are’ he muttered, trying his hardest to undo his zip and push his boxers down and once he had you felt his tip pressing up against your underwear.

‘Please Mase’ you whimpered, awkwardly reaching down so you could move them to the side and as soon as you were open to him he was pushing inside of you. Not giving you a second to adjust but you welcomed the slight sting as he drove himself into you. Using you like he never had done before as you buried your face in his neck but the gentle bite of your shoulder let you know he wasn’t happy you were hiding.

‘Look at me when I’m fucking you’ he grumbled in your ear, letting you raise your eyes to look into his dark ones and the sight made him snap his hips faster before slowing down again. Pounding into you with hard measured thrusts and you thought you might explode on the spot before he suddenly ground to a halt. Leaving you unsatisfied as you tried to move your hips against him. ‘Get down, get undressed and get on all fours for me’

You did as he asked, not wanting to argue whilst he was in this weird sort of trance so you rid yourself of your clothes as he did the same before getting on your bed and onto all fours.

Again he gave you no warning and simply grabbed your hips so he could position you where he wanted you before slamming back in and you cried out as your body slumped forward. He was quick to wrap his hand around your hair and pull you straight back up and into his body, tongue tasting the back of your neck as he licked and sucked away at your skin and you knew you were teetering on the edge.

He pulled out suddenly, making you gasp before you felt his tongue soothe the emptiness. Hands on your thighs as he massaged them roughly before flipping you onto your back suddenly so he could enter you again.

You’d never had sex like this before. Him treating you like a rag doll that he would throw about for his own amusement but you couldn’t deny it was turning you on more than you thought it would. The sloppy sounds you were making together made your insides quiver and the way he was holding your arms by your head as he stared into your soul made you buck your hips up into him. Meeting his movements before you both hit your breaking point. Hitting your highs in tandem before he collapsed onto you.

You werent quite sure what would happen next but Mason didn’t seem to be moving from his current position. Head in your neck with just about enough room to breathe as he held you whilst your fingers found themselves lost in his hair until you moved them to his back. Your fingertips stroking up and down with a featherlight touch just as you knew he loved and you felt him melt into you with every passing second.

Was he falling asleep? Did he want to stay here with you tonight? Was he still mad at you? Were you mad at him?

You couldn’t think anymore as he started to move. Fingers trailing up and down your sides with the same gentleness you were showing him and the sensation made you squirm but the kisses he was pressing to your neck made you gasp.

You could feel him inside you. Hardening again as he kissed and touched your body and even though you weren’t sure you had it in you to go again, you let him work you both up until he was resting on his forearms with his nose brushing against your own.

His eyes were different this time though, lighter and softer, like the weight of the world had been lifted from him which was only mirrored by the soft smile on his lips as he began to thrust in and out of you steadily again.

‘So fucking beautiful’ he sighed, reaching down to place the most tender and loving kiss to your lips. ‘What have you done to me baby? I can’t keep away’

‘Mase-‘

‘Shhh’ he interrupted, continuing to press delicate kisses all over your face as he rolled himself into you and you knew your cheeks were burning from the intimacy of it all. A stark contrast to how he’d treated you not so long ago. ‘Let me take care of you’

So you did, and it was nothing like what the pair of you had ever done before. Bar the last round, sex with Mason had been fun and goofy, two people who cared about each other exploring the others bodies as they made each other feel good but right now? It was intimate, slow and sexy. He wasn't just trying to get the pair of you off this time he was seeping into your skin and you felt consumed by him.

You’d never made love to anyone before, but if you had to guess what it felt like then this would probably be it. He was worshipping you like you were his one and only, forehead resting on yours so he could look straight into your eyes as he made you cum before his face lost in your neck as he calmed himself down.

When he finally got his breath back he rolled off of you almost immediately, standing to pick up his clothes so he could get dressed before turning to you awkwardly and sitting on the end of the bed. His body was turned away from you and a sense of dread filled you immediately. Clearly he wouldn’t be staying for a cuddle tonight, watching him playing with his fingers absentmindedly and even though you couldn’t see his face you knew whatever was about to come out of his mouth you wouldn’t like.

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to go too far I-‘

‘Mase it’s fine’

‘You sure? He asked and you nodded even though he couldn’t see you. ‘Well I suppose it’s good to go out with a bang’ he told you trying to make a joke out of the situation like usual in jokes it could relive some of the awkwardness but it just made you feel worse. He was practically confirming that this could be your last time together and you felt your eyes sting immediately. ‘End of the week, end of the agreement right?’

‘Um yeah’ you replied, coughing halfway through to try and cover up the pain in your voice. Pulling the sheets around you even further as you felt far too exposed right now even though he didn’t seem to want to look your way anymore.

‘Thanks for… you know. We’ll just keep it as our little secret, no one else needs to know’ he mumbled, sounding like he wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. ‘I’ll head out then’’ he told you, before turning slightly to look at you but you kept your head down so he reached for your hand so he could place a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

Whilst his touches normally thrilled you, this just hurt and you let the pain consume you as he placed your hand down onto the bed before getting up and leaving.

You had nothing to say to him, hurt and upset bubbling up in your chest as your hand came over your mouth to hold back your sobs as you finally let your emotions out as soon as the door clicked shut.

You were unbelievably hurt by the whole thing, the way he’d been with you since you’d woken up, a stark contrast from the day before and him leaving you like this now was just the final nail in the coffin.

The thought of him hearing you cry made you want to die so you just turned onto your side and hid your face in the pillow so it could absorb your sobs. Your body shaking as you cried it out and it took you a while to calm down. Even then falling back into crying for a few minutes every so often.

It felt like a break up, worse than a break up because you’d only gotten a taste of him before he shut everything down and left you open and exposed. Now you just felt cheap and a little bit dirty as you still felt him everywhere but you knew he wanted nothing else to do with you now.

In the end you jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom. Standing under the shower for longer than necessary as you tried to scrub away all memories of the last week but nothing seemed to make the uneasy feeling dissipate.

Sleep didn’t come easy either as you tossed and turned all night and you knew you looked like hell when you woke up so when you saw Carly in the kitchen with Ben you tried to look at them as little as possible.

‘You alright, y/n?’ She asked as you popped yourself down in front of her and no matter how much you tried to convince her you were fine you knew she was sceptical.

‘You look like Mason just before he left’ Ben laughed, spoon in the air so he could gesture to your eyes. ‘Said they must of used some new cleaner that was super strong and made his eyes all puffy’

‘Left? Where’s he gone?’ You asked, wondering if he’d gone gone or just popped to the shop and right now you didn’t know which scenario you preferred.

‘Home, I thought you knew?’ Carly told you, her head tilting to the side in confusion. ‘He’s gone straight to Manchester and his flight was super early’

‘Oh’ you uttered, your heart plummeting. ‘yeah, sorry just slipped my mind I guess’

‘He came and woke us up this morning, said he had to get back for an emergency but he said he’d told you’ Carly uttered and she stirred her tea.

‘Oh right, I was out of it still, maybe I forgot’ you told them and thankfully they just nodded and smiled along.

‘Don’t worry, you’re sitting next to me on the flight. Managed to change it and get us three in a row together so you’re not on your own’ she smiled, thinking that was probably your first thought but right now you didnt care. He’d left without so much as a goodbye and all you wanted was to break down in her arms. You were beyond confused with the last 24 hours so you quickly excused yourself and walked out the patio doors.

You went and sat outside, far enough away from the door in hopes that you couldn’t be seen and you let your emotions get the better of you. Tears freely falling down your face as you sat there crying silently. Not even having the energy to sob or make any noise but the tears kept flowing down your face as you wallowed in complete misery.

‘What you doing out here?’ You heard suddenly, wiping your eyes quickly before looking up to find Dec right next you but his face dropped as soon as he saw how upset you were. ‘Hey? What’s going on?’

‘Nothing, I’m fine-‘

‘Well you’re clearly not’ he said, taking a seat next to you. ‘Do you want me to go get Carly?’

‘No no, I don’t want anyone to see me like this’ you laughed. Wiping your face furiously but the tears kept flowing.

‘Talk to me then, what’s made you so upset’

You didn’t know what to say, the words on the tip of your tongue but you were conflicted as to what you should do. Dec was Mason's best friend and you knew it properly wasn’t the best idea to confide in him but you knew in the back of your mind he was still suspicious of the pair of you so you threw caution to the wind and spilled your guts. Breaking one of the last rules you had left.

‘It’s Mason’ you sighed, a weight suddenly lifting as you knew you were about to tell all but Dec looked none the wiser to what you were about to say. ‘I’ve been lying to you, to everyone, we both have and I’m so so sorry’ You whispered. Watching his eyebrows pinch together in confusion and you knew you had to tell him the truth fully. ‘This whole week we’ve been… seeing each other’ you told him. Hoping that would be enough information for him and by the solemn nod of his head you knew he understood.

‘I had my suspicions’ he laughed, tapping your thigh comfortingly. ‘When did it start?’

‘Bens house the other week. He was tipsy and being super flirty, we both were, and I don’t know how but it just happened’ you told him, looking up to face him but thankfully he wasn’t looking at you disapprovingly. ‘He told me he wanted to pay for me to come away as I was the only one that couldn’t make it and that if I wanted to we could carry on sleeping together for the week and-‘

‘Wait, hang on?’ He interrupted, his face looking angry and you knew what he was thinking straight away. ‘He paid for you to come away so you’d sleep with him? I swear to god-‘

‘No it’s not like that’ you laughed. ‘The sleeping together part was just an added thing on top, he didn’t want paying back or anything like that but that’s why I’ve been cooking for him and buying him ice cream, like trying to do anything to say thank you’

‘You know you didn’t need to do any of that? Masons many things but I know he would have paid for you without making you do all that’ he frowned before it looked like a lightbulb went off in his head. ‘So what’s happened, are you upset about that girl last night?’

‘No… well yes but that’s not all of it. He was off with me for all of yesterday and I had no idea why, then there was the girls but when we got back he still wanted to sleep with me before he… just ended everything’ you sniffed. ‘He was so cold after, like just said I guess we’re done and went back to his room I felt humiliated’

‘I’m sorry, y/n’ he sighed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as he gave you a minute to calm down.

‘Don’t apologise, it’s not your fault’ you told him but you could tell from his body language he had more to say.

‘Look you didn’t hear this from me, but he’s always liked you y/n. Whether that is just in a friendly capacity or more I know he’s got a soft spot for you. Whatever he’s done I don’t think he would have meant it, in his weird little mind he’s probably thinking this is the best for both of you without realising how much he’s messing up’ he reassured you. ‘Last night when you were out of it, we could all tell something was wrong. That's why I went and got him but I hadn’t even finished saying what was wrong with you before he was up and trying to find you’

‘Really?’ You sniffed, wiping your eyes. Thinking back to how he’d looked after you in the club last night and your eyes filled tears once more. ‘It’s not him, it’s me. We set rules and broke all of them but the most important was no feelings and I really thought i could do it but… he’s really fucking hard not to like’ you laughed causing Dec to laugh along with you as he squeezed you a little tighter.

‘I’ll have a word with him’

‘No don’t’ you panicked, shaking your head as you wiped your tears. ‘It’s not gonna make any difference and I’d rather he didn’t know how I felt’ you sighed. ‘I just wanna forget it and go back to normal with him, if that’s possible’

From the way Dec was looking at you, you both knew it might never be possible to be normal with Mason again but thankfully he didn’t say anymore on the matter. ‘Will you be alright?’

‘I’ll be fine’

‘We’ll be home before you know it. But don’t let him ruin what’s been a nice week’

‘I won’t’ you smiled. Thinking back to all the good times you’d had with and without Mason this week and even though it had ended in the worst possible way you were still so happy you got to be there with everyone.

y/n

liked by benchilwell, carlywlms_, woody_ and others

y/n learning extremely valuable life lessons courtesy of chilly 🌶️

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benchilwell the best student I’ve ever had

y/n the only student you’ve ever had 😩

carlywlms_ LOOK AT YOU A REAL LIFE MERMAID 🧜‍♀️

y/n I KNOW RIGHT WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT 🐳

woody_ um sorry was I invisible out there?

y/n sorry woody 🥺 you were an excellent assistant

declanrice show off

y/n can’t help it I’m a fast learner

okaylaaa I actually can’t believe how quickly you picked that up you’re a natural

y/n swimming date when we’re home?

okaylaaa you’re on

laurenfryer_ is there anything she can’t do?

y/n hold down a stable relationship

__nads I’m inspired 🤭 feeling an ocean themed cupcake collection when you’re back 🪼

y/n you’re so right let’s do it 🌊🐡🐙

Tagged: @footiehoemcfc @prideofpd @yoursselo @chelseachilly @willow-writer-ivy @mm-vii @katharinanadiaa @mmountseb @carlottawllms @saltyheartnightmare @masonmtxo @harvestmount @chillymountsjess @treblebluesblog @pulisicsgirl @bluesswift @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps

[theshypinkflower]

Ik this might be tmi butt... Oops BUT! As a monsterlover and reading fanfics for Valentine's day.

I was js thinking what you personally what monsters the human characters would be such as The main Goffard family (Sal,Matt, Derek AND MY GIRLY ROCHELLE CAUSE SHE DESERVES THAT ATTENTION 😝), Mason, Rhino, Kangaroo, and my new favorite from the way you spoke about him from answering another anon is Jerald!!

FUCK YEAH MONSTERFUCKERS UNITE!!!

Sal is definitely a dragon, he just loves hoarding his wealth and it’s clearly of value to him! Plus with how much he smokes he might as well be one

I’d really like to see Derek as a Minotaur, but not exactly big or bulking, more like a calf. Smaller in size and with smaller horns, yet still all the anger

I can actually see Matt being a centaur, he’s athletic and strong and yet he’s not exactly monstrous for his size

Rochelle is a siren HANDS DOWN, her beauty is as superficial as it gets and she’s no where near as wholesome as mermaids are depicted to be. She knows how to get people to give her what she wants

Mason would probably be some variation of big foot ngl, he’s a hairy big man who lives in the woods alone

Rhino would definitely be an ogre, he’s got the size, the muscle, and a bit of that gruff voice

Kangaroo? Imp. He’s a mischievous little thing and meant to do his boss’s bidding

LASTKY JERALD!!! He’s probably some sort of Mothman, his favorite cryptid! (Although for some reason I can really see him as a goat man for some reason)

[lavendcrhazed]

[ anne hathaway, cis woman, she/her ] — spotted in the streets of brooklyn, it’s BEATRICE "BEA" MASON. they have lived in the city for HER ENTIRE LIFE, working as a MENTAL HEALTH THERAPIST. the 45 year old will probably be seen around PARK SLOPE a lot, seeing as that’s where they live. people say they can be a bit INTROVERTED and DISORGANIZED, but friends know them to be GENEROUS and INTELLIGENT. you know for sure you’ve found them when you’ve come across THE SMELL OF THE RAIN AFTER A RAINSTORM, THRIVING IN CHAOTIC ENVIRORNMENTS, AND A CONSTANT NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND YOU. welcome to brooklyn, it’s been waiting for you!

STATS !

birth name : beatrice audrey mason nick name : bee, bea birth date : february 13th sexuality: bisexual biromantic currently residing : brownstone in park slope occupation : mental health therapist

family : tbd mason (father), tbd mason (mother), robbie mason (younger brother), matilda mason (daughter younger sister)s pets : black cat named binx relationship status: single notable past relationships: past high school boyfriend/father of matilda (see wanted connection on main)

hair color : dark brown eye color : brown height : 5'8" noticeable scars: scar on stomach from car accident, three scars from ovarian cyst removal piercings : doubles in both ears, belly button (semi closed), nose (semi closed) tattoos: bee behind the ear, music note on left side of wrist

HISTORY !

born exactly seven minutes before valentine's day, bea was a handful from the moment she was born. she was loud, a screamer about the smallest of things. her parents used to joke that she never gave them a moment of quietness, but it later became a way to get her parents' attention when it strayed to her other siblings.

had a stereotypical childhood: loving parents, close siblings to annoy at every opportunity.

music was her release in school, letting her process her emotions whenever she didn't quite understand them. it eventually lead her to her first real boyfriend, a boy who would get her pregnant at a very young age. her parents withdrew her from school since bea didn't want to get rid of it and sent her to live with her grandparents with her mother. but due to her young age, her parents passed off her daughter as her youngest sibling. a feat that has since continued into adulthood. her sister has no idea she's really her daughter and bea plans on keeping it that way as long as she possibly can.

grew up in nyc and never really left. she did leave to go to college in boston for music, but came back halfway through her second year.

her second year of college, she was out with friends and got into a major car accident. she doesn't remember much of what happened, only how kind the paramedics on scene had been to her.

she came back to brooklyn, told her parents that she didn't want to study music anymore, and enrolled in mental health therapy classes. there she found her calling, helping people in their time of need.

WANTED CONNECTIONS !

a best friend! someone who lets her rant about how hard her job is and understands how to get her to loosen up.

her high school sweetheart/matilda's dad: these two were so in love with each other (childhood friends turned lovers) but everything changed when bea got pregnant at 15. she eventually left the state to live with her grandparents (and have the baby), and came back a completely different person. they eventually grew apart. more information can be found on the wanted connections on the main.

exes of all kinds: one night stands turned friends, former one night stands, exes that ends on bad terms, exes that ended on good terms.

neighbors: others that live in brownstones in park slope! also someone who lives nearby and takes care of binx while she's at work or on longer shifts. people to bring her food because she cannot cook to save her life!

others: enemies? someone who doesn't like her because she failed to save their family member? someone she saved once? the possibilities are endless!