#what the fuck bedelia

[ermm-what-the-alpha-theta]

Do you know when youre watching hannibal, a scene comes in and you dont know if someones bleeding out or having sex?

[theantitheticallogician]

okay umm......

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH?!??!?!?!?!?!?!

[tboynightmare]

finally finished hannibal. what the fuck.

[wrightmourmarriage]

(banging my head against the wall) they're...... not..... good..... enough.........

[verysickofthisshit]

love how will graham gives representation to empathetic people who are not sympathetic. u get me king

[loverboybrightsideghost]

how does gillian anderson talk without moving her mouth

[homunculus-argument]

Both me and my boyfriend require extremely clear instructions in order to do something right. My boyfriend does not improvise. He follows given instructions meticulously, to the exact measure, and if something is worded too vaguely, or there's a missing implied step between two clearly stated steps of the process, he will freeze exactly on that spot, and will not even try.

Meanwhile, I'm an improviser. If the instructions don't say exactly what I'm supposed to do, and in what way, I'll just take a wild fucking guess and boy you won't believe how incorrect my guesses can be. Serious, immeasurable and irreversible damage. I'll amelia bedelia that shit so hard that you'll wish I hadn't even tried.

[scarletdreamers]

''Is Hannibal in love with me?''

To which Bedelia answers her famous quote that ultimately ends with: ''Yes.'' Yes, he is in love with you. (You righteous, reckless, twitchy little man)

Now many people (myself included) heard this for the first time and thought, yes of course Will. Jezus fucking Christ, you only realise that now? NOW?

The thing about that scene is that Will knew. Of course he knew. He knows Hannibal better than any other person in the world. Of course Will knew that Hannibal was in love with him, he knew it wayyy before that little talk he had with Bedelia. Will is far from dumb, neither is he oblivious. He knows Hannibal's mind like the back of his hand. Their entire relationship is built on that unnatural and extreme understanding that they have of one another. The ability to see right through each other's person suits and armours and look right into one another's hearts.

So, no, of course Will didn't finally realise it during that 'therapy' session with Bedelia, but why did he ask her? Because he needed confirmation. Will is a man with a lot of doubts. He doubts everything, about himself and about others. He's torn between two personalities, two sides, constantly. Two versions of himself. Of who he is, who he wants and who he's supposed to be. He doubts everything and his relationship with Hannibal is also built on mistrust. Unaltering loyalty, yes, but mistrust because of everything they went through. And, mind you, he hasn't seen or spoken to Hannibal for three years during that session. In his mind, Bedelia can tell him whether the things he used to be sure of but doubts now are still true. He needs to hear the answer said out loud. He needs confirmation. Will has been mistrusted, disbelieved and made out for a liar and mentally unstable man so often that his self doubt goes far enough to reach his idea of the way Hannibal perceives him. He needs to know for sure before he goes and choses what he's going to do. Whose side he will take. He is going to let Hannibal escape, knowing that it'll destroy his own life which he built up in those three years, and he needs to know if what he does is right. He needs confirmation that Hannibal really is in love with him and is not just using him to escape or as an experiment. He thinks Bedelia is the person to tell him that, because she's second on the list of those who know Hannibal best. And since she isn't a part of the 'pact', of the relationship, she can comment on it as an outsider.

That's why, at the very last, Will asks Bedelia if Hannibal loves him. Not because he doesn't know it, or because he didn't believe it, but because he needed to be certain before he went and chose Hannibal's side. He knows there's no way back. He needs to know that, even from an outside point of view, the feelings are mutual and that it's right to, in the end, choose him.

[cannibalgender]

Hannibal has a really interesting and profound thesis about self discovery if you are cool and queer enough to read into it but I genuinely think my favorite motif in Hannibal that seems to recur a few times in that vein is “killing parts of yourself do not work”.

See, Hannibal snaps Franklyn Froideveux’s neck in the same episode we get him discussing his obsession with Will with his own therapist, Bedelia. Hannibal’s disgust with Franklyn is a disgust with himself, and he kills Franklyn only to find himself more desperately fascinated by Will than ever

In contrast, Will kills Randall Tier at Hannibal’s prompting, and ostensibly he does it as part of his becoming, to maintain the “illusion” that he is going to run away with Hannibal, but this isn’t the only time Will kills a serial killer that’s more evolved in their Becoming than he is- but it is the first time he did it with his hands.

The very act of killing Tier, of trying to kill off the savage animal part of himself, brought him closer to that brink, closer to monsterhood. For what is more savage than self denial, and the killing of brethren?

I find it interesting because in the book Red Dragon, Will SUCCEEDS in killing off this part of himself. Or, Molly does. With the Red Dragon’s death, he retires to fucking Florida. Vicious repression and suburban heterosexuality wins. And in the show, killing the Dragon, a parallel to Will’s becoming, only succeeds in transforming him further under the flame

[awritersrejections]

via @lastcellontheleft

Painting on the ceiling: The Fall of the Damned (The Fall of the Rebel Angels) by Peter Paul Rubens

[livwritesstuff]

another steve/college-aged daughter phone call bc i liked writing the last one

Steve is at work when his middle daughter, Robbie, FaceTimes him. He’s between clients, so he answers it, and his phone screen lights up with a view of Robbie standing in front of her floor-length mirror.

Without any preamble, she asks, “Do you think this is okay to wear to court?”

Steve squints at his screen long enough to see that she’s wearing a pair of baggy jeans and what looks like an oversized suit vest with a white button down underneath.

“Uh…I dunno about the jeans, hon,” he replies, and then his brain catches the court part of her question, “Wait – why are you going to court? Jury duty?”

“No, I’m contesting a parking ticket.”

“Another one?”

It’s true – since Robbie’s move to New York City for college a few years back, he’s lost count of how many parking tickets she’s gotten.

“This one was unfair.”

“She parked in a tow-zone,” he hears Moe supply from off-camera, “I thought it was nice they only gave her a ticket and didn’t tow it like they should have.”

“It’s not usually a tow-zone,” Robbie protested, “They should have made an announcement or something.”

“Like with a megaphone?” Moe asks, sounding baffled, and Steve has to hold in a laugh.

“Shut up,” Robbie fires back.

“Did they put up any signs, hon?” Steve asks her.

“No.”

“Yes,” Moe cuts in.

“Fuck off, Lucille.” And that does not go over well with Moe, obviously, because Robbie knows that calling her Lucille (which isn’t even her actual name; it’s just Lucy) is a spectacularly efficient way to piss her off.

Robbie’s phone is pointed at the ground so Steve can’t see what exactly is happening, but judging by the dull thump he hears and how it’s followed by Robbie’s frustrated “Stop it!”, he’d guess that Moe walloped her pretty good with one of Robbie’s many throw pillows.

“You stop it, Bedelia.”

And if Lucille isn’t Moe’s real name, Bedelia is even further from Robbie’s – it’s Amelia, actually, but Bedelia (as in Amelia Bedelia, the children’s book character) became a way for Moe to call her stupid without actually calling her stupid (a punishable offense in the Harrington house when they were growing up).

“Robbie, how much was the ticket?” Steve interrupts before the fighting can get too brutal.

“It’s not about how much it was,” she says as she flips the camera so he can see her face again, “It’s the principle of the thing.”

“It was only seventy dollars,” Moe tells him, “The outfit she bought was basically triple that.”

Steve sighs, and glances at the clock.

“Darling, I have to go. I really think you should call your Aunt Erica and see what she thinks about all this.”

[graciereadshannigram]

hey fam, welcome to the May 2024 roundup of the best hannigram fics i've read this past month! i read several million words worth of fics, and these were the cream of the crop. i also managed to rewatch the show for the fifth time!! (unemployment has its perks lmao)

as a reminder: the ingredients for a five star rating typically (but not always!!) include some combination of a.) believable characterizations of both Hannibal and Will, b.) compelling plot and/or character arcs, and c.) high quality smut.

that being said, my judgment of the aforementioned ingredients is powered almost exclusively by vibes. as such, it is incredibly subjective.

you can find past rec lists below:

February March April

and if you have any recs of your own for me, PLEASE SHARE.

anyway, in no particular order, let's go!

~

Overcoming by purefoysgirl

Word Count: 547.5k Summary: A Victorian A/B/O romance in which Hannibal Lecter is the future Duke of Westvale who has been away at war for the past ten years. His Grandfather has made good on a contract made shortly after Hannibal's birth to procure him a wife. It was supposed to be easy. Naturally, with the Omega, Will, given in the place of his twin sister, it is anything but, because if there is one thing Hannibal Lecter despises, it's Omegas.

This fic had me holding back tears when it ended (after sobbing a couple different times). This was... incredible. What a fucking UNDERTAKING this author committed to, and despite this being a doorstopper of a fic, the plot did not miss a single beat. Just... wow. For the love of god, please read this.

Falls the Shadow by littlesystems

Word Count: 72.4k Summary: "You're a psychiatrist," Will says. "Between your personal and professional lives you must have met thousands of people, you must know dozens of different flavors of pathology. Do you know anyone who would take me as I am? Who would be able to love me," he gestures in a sweeping motion, from his messy hair to his stained knee, "just as I am?" "I do." Bedelia's words shock Will into stillness. “Really?” AKA an AU where Bedelia is Will’s psychiatrist instead of Hannibal, Will makes a series of increasingly questionable life choices, and no one should ever take Bedelia’s advice. Ever.

GIMME MORE STARSSSSSSSS. Bedelia as Will's psychiatrist was brilliant, holy shit. And Will understanding Hannibal and completely accepting him? This is something I see so rarely done in fics. Will always makes him be a lot less manipulative, or at least goes through heavy angst over it. But in this? Will was immediately endeared because that's just who Hannibal is.

Bram Stoker's HANNIBAL by DBMars

Word Count: 586.7k Summary: Love Never Dies. "I have crossed oceans of time to find you." Hannibal + Bram Stoker's Dracula + the classic novel = a new version of the seductive vampire legend. Count Hannibal Lecter loses the thing most precious to him -- the love of his life. God is beyond measure in wanton malice, and matchless in his irony. And so Hannibal renounces God, and becomes an immortal monster that feeds on the blood of the living. 400 years after losing his beloved, Count Lecter meets a man who looks exactly like the husband he lost -- reborn and returned. But who could learn to love a monster?

@dbmars you are a fucking genius. I am honestly still processing and figuring out how to communicate just how amazing this fic was. Do yourself a favor and go read it NOW.

the book of jonah by zipegs

Word Count: 18.1k Summary: A sudden breath of hot wind presses through the trees. For a moment, it feels fresh, alive, and then the dust—the pollen—comes along with it, a parasite hitched on the back of the breeze. Will is ravenous. --- After the fall, Will and Hannibal sojourn in a remote, decrepit cabin in South America while they await Chiyoh’s return. But something here is afflicting them, and it’s only getting worse.

Okay, bear with me. THIS WAS FUCKING AMAZING. I haven't felt this way after consuming a piece of media since I watched Guillermo del Toro's The Autopsy episode. Psychological horror mixed with body horror mixed with smut??? I guess that does it for me. I literally can't stop thinking about this fic. It's been two weeks and I am STILL thinking about it.

Wrong by HotMolasses (@snazzymolasses here on tumblr)

Word Count: 4.2k Summary: Will roughly rubbed his arm across his mouth again, trying to rub it off. Rub off the scent of Alana, after they’d kissed. After she’d kissed him. Or he’d kissed her? It was mutual. Until it wasn’t. Until Will breathed in her scent, so familiar, so Alpha, so…wrong. He’d pulled back forcibly, unable to hide the expression of revulsion on his face. “I…I need to go.” he said, sweeping his coat off the back of a chair on his way towards the door. “Lock up when you leave.” The weather was crap, and it probably wasn’t smart to drive in the snow while he was in pre-heat, but Will didn’t know what else to do. He needed to figure this out, he needed to talk to the only person who understood him. He needed to talk to Hannibal.

So ummmmmmm what do I need to do to turn this into like a whole AU?? As always, this was a total home run. Every single bit of it was perfect.

as soft, as wide as air by BlackKnightSatellite

Word Count: 193.9k Summary: After surviving the fall, Will finds he has far fewer hesitations about joining Hannibal than he would have guessed. Character death, but not Will or Hannibal.

Well shit. I read this immediately after a full rewatch of the show (in four days no less) and THIS is my new season 4 canon. It's brilliant and actually reads like a proper season would. And I love how it gives all the characters a concluded story line. Aside from Will and Hannibal. I also loved how much this explored Will's instability and how his mental state would be affected after he finally slung off all the guilt and allowed himself to fully enjoy killing. All around very good.

The Dispersal Method by @victorineb

Word Count: 16.9k Summary: It’s a normal fall day in the forest for Will Graham. Dead body in front of him, cannibal psychiatrist behind him, the usual. Then Will brushes against the wrong flower, and suddenly neither he nor Hannibal can keep their hands off each other. Now, Will must navigate his way out of the crime scene and Jack’s scrutiny while also trying not to jump Hannibal’s bones at every opportunity. Well, one out of three ain’t bad. Set nebulously in s2, post-Will's release from the BSHCI. Will’s a conflicted honeypot, Hannibal’s a (not-so) secretly-besotted asshole, and nobody has brought enough lube.

THIS IS THE BEST SEX POLLEN I'VE EVER READ. Seriously. The BEST out of pretty much any fandom (at least so far).

Between the Shadow and the Soul by raiast

Word Count: 48.7k Summary: When Will decides to stop taking his suppressants neither he nor Hannibal can deny the attraction between them. After nearly a decade of running from his biology, Will is faced with his primitive Omega urges full force. As if navigating his hormones wasn't enough, there is a killer at large with a very specific motive that seems to only be targeting preteen boys.

This might be my new favorite ABO fic? And one of the better case fics out there.

Sleepover by EarthsickWithoutYou

Word Count: 70k Summary: Set in Season 1, after "Fromage." Will is still confused about his kiss with Alana and seeks romantic advice on how to date and be more "smooth" from Hannibal. Little does he know that Hannibal is madly, passionately obsessed with him, and desperately jealous. Needless to say, Dr. Lecter is all too happy to teach Will everything he knows about love and dating.

This was pretty fluffy, tender, and fun, and it was exactly what I needed after finishing a heavier fic

Alana Finds Out by @victorineb

Word Count: 32.1k Summary: A series of one-shots in which Alana Bloom discovers, in the midst of various tropes, that her boyfriend Hannibal Lecter's feelings for Will Graham run far deeper than friendship. Basically a chance for Alana to shout at the pair of emotionally-repressed idiots whilst still indulging in much Hannigram loveliness.

Oh I loved all of this. This scratched that itch in my brain that loves when Alana realizes that Hannibal has wanted Will all along. And some of these one-shots are genuinely hysterical. Love.

Doctor's Orders by JSinister32

Word Count: 29.2k Summary: “He’s dead on his feet, Jack. I do not understand how you allowed him to come when he’s so obviously ill. There have been too many hours in service of your needs, so many that it seems to have affected any sleep that he may have gotten over the past few weeks. From what you and I have discussed, he has a difficult time shutting his mind down under the best of circumstances and this case today has clearly gotten to him.” The doctor stepped closer to the profiler, peering into his eyes as Will tried to focus. “Will? Can you hear me?” Will Graham has never been particularly good at taking care of himself. When he comes down with a severe cold while working on a string of murders, the new psychiatrist on retainer, Doctor Hannibal Lecter, offers to care for him. Will he be able to keep his feelings in check while Hannibal is in his home? Hannibal Lecter can't get the profiler working for the Violent Crimes unit out of his mind. When given the opportunity to care for him when he's ill, will his feelings for the other man come to light?

TENDER. I want like 70k more words of this. Especially Hannibal putting Jack in his place. Especially Hannibal washing Will's hair. Mmm. There's just something so good about Will letting Hannibal take care of him.

The First Condition of Immortality is Death by OneHandedBooks

Word Count: 92.5k Summary: Hannibal’s heart stopped for the first time after he’d dragged himself and Will out of the frigid ocean onto the rocky shore at the bottom of the bluff.

Oh this was GOOD. Very tender, good characterizations, and loved how Will's hallucinations were portrayed. This was just all a really good exploration of how their relationship could have progressed. This author also is incredibly good at showing the scenes in a way that I could watch them unfold in my head. This felt like a crystal clear movie.

What Do The Dead Know? by OneHandedBooks

Word Count: 7.6k Summary: He looks up at her, haloed by the sun. She could be anyone. No one. St. Abigail, patron of lilies and last chances. AU: What if Will joined Hannibal willingly after the Uffizi Gallery and they shared a few tense weeks in the world before Mason's men finally ran them down? In which Will writes, hallucinates, and succumbs to the dark side and Hannibal is a manipulative, brainwashing, bastard.

cw: Abigail/Will. But does it really count if it's a dream sequence? Regardless, this was something else, off the charts, big fan. The author NAILED the hallucinatory vibe that made this entire fic work so so well. Also, just Will working through his grief for Abigail this way made it that much more intense.

chimera of the chapel by bleakmidwinter

Word Count: 211.5k Summary: When Will Graham wakes up from a coma three months after the fall, Jack reveals that Hannibal Lecter didn't survive. Outside the realm of Hannibal's influence, Will decides to discover the full truth behind the world's sudden and seeming falsehood. Everybody seems to hold their own opinion on Hannibal's fate, but Will knows better than anyone that trust and honesty are as elusive as death.

The "presumed dead" trope might just be my new obsession. I adored this fic so much, the plot was incredible, the development of their relationship was spot on, and there were just some very tender moments.

wear my silence like a mask by bleakmidwinter

Word Count: 32.k Summary: After running into Hannibal at a Bass Pro Shop, Will is invited to a Masquerade Ball at his estate. Jack encourages him to attend for an opportunity to catch the Ripper. Extenuating circumstances tempt Will down an even graver path; Romance with the Ripper.

Three words: masked anonymous sex. That's all.

The Voices and the Shadows by darlinghogwarts, MaddyHughes

Word Count: 114.6k Summary: “The Chesapeake Ripper? The serial killer? That's a grisly thing to find at the bottom of a drink. Most people say oblivion ...or possibly sex.” Hannibal sips his wine again. “Why are you thinking about a murderer on your birthday, Will? Is it part of your degree?” “He is a part of my degree by my own choice. My supervisor didn’t approve, but…” He sighs. “I insisted.” AU where Will—a Masters student studying the Chesapeake Ripper—gets drunk on his birthday and meets an intriguing man at the bar.

Man, I wish I had had Hannibal as my thesis supervisor in grad school, hot damn. (Mine was pretty much too busy to help with anything, ended up doing it all myself – would not recommend.) This was was damn near perfect. I needed some good old fashioned angst. With a good and fluffy ending. This was a good AU!

Chasing Thoroughbreds by HigherMagic

Word Count: 42.8k Summary: After the fall, Chiyoh rescues Will and Hannibal and takes them to the Lecter home in Lithuania. When Hannibal wakes up, his memories of everything - Will, being the Ripper, everything since Mischa's death - are gone. Will's only problem with that is that killing Hannibal won't be nearly as satisfying if he doesn't understand why. Wrestling with his own feelings, or what's left in the tattered mess of them after the fight with Dolarhyde, Will stays, hoping that Hannibal will recover and give him the opportunity he's waiting for. But there are others who remember what Hannibal did, all those years ago, and they have their own bone to pick.

Ugh pretty sure I love almost everything HigherMagic writes and this did not disappoint. This was fantastic. I was absolutely captivated by Will's development through this and Hannibal was just as good.

Volto Larva by TreacleA

Word Count: 39k Summary: Will is having trouble unwinding after work. Hannibal helpfully suggests somewhere that may assist with that, with absolutely no ulterior motive whatsoever.

So ummmm I'm still blushing (in the best way) over parts of this fic because FUCK this is scorching. Anyway. That's all I've got to say LOL.

[thehollywoodnecromancer]

YELLOWJACKETS CHRISTMAS HEADCANONS!!

- Van absolutely LOVES Home Alone (partially because she relates to it) and makes everyone sit through it three times every December

- Lottie hates Home Alone for the same reason, only Nat knows why she cries every time they watch it

- Laura Lee goes super Catholic about it, need I say more

- Shauna loves those morbid “fun facts” and will not shut up about how St Nicholas resurrected butchered babies and punched a guy in the face

- Jackie’s Christmas tree is really stuffy and white so she always goes to Shauna’s place and the two of them decorate a chaotic little shrub in Shauna’s attic

- Tai’s favourite Christmas movie is 100% Die Hard. Travis doesn’t think it’s a Christmas movie but he still loves it, and Jackie does too because of her “secret” thing for Bruce Willis (and let’s be honest, Bonnie Bedelia too)

- Jackie always gets super competitive over the Wham game

- Misty makes Coach Ben a hand-painted bauble every year, he just has a box of them at Paul’s place labelled “fuck no”

- Misty pretends to still believe in Santa Claus for attention

- Javi is still bitter Travis told him that Santa isn’t real (which Travis only did bc he’s bitter Bobby Farleigh told him)

- Nat is 100% a Nightmare Before Christmas girlie, she & Kevyn always have some sleepover with popcorn to watch it

- Mari knows the lyrics to You’re a Mean One Mr Grinch off by heart

- Misty has a thing for Michael Bublé

- Jackie keeps her own personal naughty & nice list in her diary and gives gifts accordingly. Shauna is always on the nice list and Jeff is almost never, which Jeff is silently so devastated about, like he cries in his room over it

- Lottie always gets the most insane shit for Christmas but it’s literally never what she asked for— she’ll be like “hey can I get a record player” and her parents will be like “I know!!!!! Have an ice sculpture which melts immediately and some million dollar earrings which you will never wear because they clash with your complexion”

- Misty loves the snow, her entire yard is filled with snowmen. There’s lore. It runs deep

[tasha-tasha]

'Will Graham wants peace and luxury' NOOOOOO

Saw something along these lines on Tumblr and I disagree HARD. It said something along the lines of: 'Will wants to be in comfort and luxury, he craves pamperment, and he wants to feel peace away from pain and discomfort' (We can all have our own headcanons, but this is mine and why I really do not agree).

Will claims he wants a peaceful life, but it isn't what he needs, it isn't what he craves.

Will was a police officer, he then went on to teach college students about how to identify victims, murders and motives. He then went on to work for the fucking FBI and lands himself at Hannibal Lecter's dinner table.

Will Graham is drawn to chaos, drawn to the grotesque and drawn to battle. He lives to suffer and watch others suffer. He revels in the morbid and the battle. His empathy has thrown him into the minds of the insane, and his battle is in accepting that he enjoys being them.

Will's acceptance, if he wished for peace, would end the moment he started a life with Molly. It would have ended the day Wally called him 'Dad'. But that is not what he truly needed, it was something he told himself he wanted. So the show continues.

Will's final development was him dragging Hannibal off the cliff with him. Will had finally given into his carnal nature, and he stood with Hannibal, in a moment of bliss and peace, as they looked at each other and knew that they brung out what society deemed their worst.

At a moment of peace and becoming, Will throws them both off a cliff and delves right back into the adrenaline and chaos of the fight. To perhaps kill both himself and Hannibal. To end his life in perfect chaos and discomfort, because he is addicted to it.

Hannibal lets him.

Will is not a 'housewife', nor a man who wishes to sit idly by and have Hannibal preen and pamper him. He doesn't want to live like Bedelia did and just accept Hannibal's darkness, and turn a blind eye to the disorder. He is not the type to lounge in the sun and sleep like a housecat.

He wants to be there. He wants that havoc, that madness, it is truly what he craves. If he was with Hannibal, even after acceptance, he would forcibly shove himself into it. They would never be safe, they would never be fully forgotten. Neither of them wants that. They enjoy the madness that comes with the vengeful and carnal.

Will is more wild animal than pet, and Hannibal slowly begins to treat him as a part of himself, rather than a plaything.

Will stops looking for Hannibal when he stops running. I don't think it's out of comfort or safety. I think Will stops chasing because there's no longer any prey to chase. So instead, he chases what he thought he wanted, chases a family and a lover; convinces himself he is comfortable in normality.

As soon as Jack returns, as soon as Hannibal re-enters his life; he practically forgets they exist. We barely see Molly for the last few episodes, because Will is not thinking of them. Will no longer puts in the effort with chasing that ideal family, because his lust for war and pain is so much greater.

Will does not want to be comfortable or at peace. Will is happiest in constant battle.

Of course, there is more to this, I'd love to do a deeper dive one day.

[malevolent-muse]

🔪HANNIBAL🔪

1. 👯‍♂️ If you could pick anyone from the show, who would be your bestie? 

Will Graham (28.6% from 315 votes) - An alarming number of you chose Hannibal Lecter to be your bestie… That’s a very dangerous position to put yourself in, I’m just saying.

2. 📞 You get kidnapped and your abductors are looking to hold you hostage for ransom. Who do you tell them to call?    

Hannibal Lecter (35.2% from 176 votes) - Okay so… I feel like Hannibal would use this as an opportunity to cause chaos and it might not work out so great for me. (Not that I’m the best judge of character … I voted for Bedelia, so what does that tell you?)

3. 🚔 You get pulled over for speeding. Who do you want riding shotgun?     

Hannibal Lecter (36% from 242 votes) - If anyone can talk me out of a speeding ticket, it’s Hannibal. 

4. 🤡 You find a framed photograph of a creepy clown on your desk at work. Who do you think would pull this office prank?     

Beverly Katz (61% from 195 votes) - Who am I to disagree with the majority (and with a significant margin as well)?

5. 😍 You have a secret crush. To whom do you confide your secret?     

Beverly Katz (39.2% from 250 votes) - I can’t believe that there was 1.6% of voters who picked Chilton for this one… 🤦🏻‍♀️

6. 🦎 If you had the ability to change any character from the show into a newt, who would you choose?     

Fredrick Chilton (41.9% from 241 votes) - *sigh* The fandom just has it out for him… and he has suffered so much already. 

7. 🏹 You have been given one of cupid’s arrows and you now have the ability to make one person fall in love with you. Who do you choose?     

Will Graham (24.6% from 610 votes) - Fun Fact: Hannibal came in a close second with 22.3% of the votes. 

8. 🥃 You have acquired a cup of mysterious elixir that grants eternal life to the drinker. However, the elixir also destines them to become your mortal enemy. Which character from the show do you choose to take a sip?     

Fredrick Chilton (37.9% from 132 votes) - I’m a little sad that my precious little fuck-up is going to despise me. But at least he’ll live. 

9. 🔁 You are being followed by a nefarious individual. You hide in a bathroom and bump into a character from the show. They suggest swapping outfits so you can slip past your pursuer unnoticed. Which character would you pick for the switch?     

Will Graham (27.9% from 165 votes) - I guess this makes sense because Will’s wardrobe is unremarkable but come on… we could’ve had so much fun switching with someone with a bit more flare. 

10. ⛓️You have been kidnapped and chained up in a basement! Who is the culprit?   

Hannibal Lecter (42.7% from 213 votes) - Well, at least I’m not dead…. Yet.   

11. 🍽️ You are invited to a dinner party hosted by Hannibal Lecter at his home. Who is your plus one?     

Will Graham (29.8% from 188 votes) - At least Hannibal will be distracted by Will and not pay me any attention. I want to stay OFF of Hannibal’s radar. 

12. 🤡 You are pulling a prank and placing a framed photograph of a creepy clown on someone’s work desk. On which character’s desk do you place the photo?     

Fredrick Chilton (41.5% from 106 votes) - I guess we’re all bullying Chilton … (I voted for him too.)

13. 🦎  You have been turned into a newt! Which character from the show do you think is responsible?     

Hannibal Lecter (33.5% from 179 votes) - Yeah… if anyone is capable of it, it’s him.

14. 📖  If transported to this universe, who would read dirty, dirty fan fics about themselves?     

Hannibal Lecter (62.7% from 354 votes) - Oh he’d eat these up … just like Will’s ass. 

15. 🏹 Will Graham has one of Cupid's arrows but (unbeknownst to him) it is tipped with lethal poison. Who do you want him to shoot with the arrow?     

Hannibal Lecter (36% from 189 votes) - I’ve been doing a bit of research on the mythology of wendigos and how traditionally it is an evil spirit that possesses human and causes them to commit murder as they have an insatiable hunger for human flesh. So I wonder … would shooting Hannibal kill him and release the evil spirit or would it kill the spirit and Hannibal would be freed from its possession of him? 

16. 🍸You find yourself in a drinking competition. Who do you want to face off against?     

Fredrick Chilton (43.4% from 205 votes) - I doubt Chilton’s kidneys are really functioning these days … an easy win for me, I guess. 

17. 👚You are doing laundry at a laundromat.  When you go to pull your clothes from the washer, you find that someone has stuck their red underwear in with your whites, turning everything PINK. Who is the culprit?     

Fredrick Chilton (39.9% from 178 votes) - Now I’m picturing Chilton in red underwear… You know, I’m not mad. 

18. 🆘 You pass out and wake up to find someone giving you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Who is most likely to step in and attempt to save your life?  

Beverly Katz (28.7% from 188 votes) - I voted Bedelia because I am unhinged… LOL  

19. 🤒 One of the characters from the show becomes ill and you have to step in and cover their duties for the rest of the week. Which character gets sick?    

Will Graham (18.5% from 157 votes) - Fun fact - Beverly was a close 2nd 

20. 🦎Once again, you have been turned into a newt! (I don't know how this keeps happening.) Which character from the show do you trust to care for you while you are in your lizard-like state?     

Will Graham (40.8% from 191 votes) - I’m fine with this just as long as he keeps me away from all the dogs. They would eat me. 

21. 🚌You are in charge of taking all of the characters on a field trip to the zoo. Which character do you have to repeatedly reprimand for speaking out of turn?     

Freddie Lounds (45.9% from 218 votes)  - Yeah… Shut up Freddie! Honestly. 

22. 🖐️You get a chance to slap one character in the face with absolutely no negative repercussions. Who do you choose?     

Hannibal Lecter (36.5% from 219 votes) - Sooooo worth it!

23. 🐺You've contracted a case of lycanthropy (aka you've been turned into a werewolf). Fearful that you'll spread the condition (or worse), you enlist the help of one character to put you out of your misery before the next full moon. Who do you choose?    

Hannibal Lecter (33.6% from 152 votes)  - IDK if this is a good idea… he might just keep me and do experiments on me to see if I can be controlled. 

24. 🧑‍🏫You are a teacher and conducting parent-teacher conferences. The parent of your most problematic student walks in. Who is that parent?   

Freddie Lounds (31.1% from 222 votes)  - Ugh… who got her pregnant in the first place?

25. 🩺You are an ER doctor. A patient comes in who has "slipped" and fallen onto an object that is now lodged in their rectum. Who is that patient?   

Frederick Chilton (60.9% from 363 votes)   - I love you Frederick. You don’t have to listen to them… just use something with a flared base next time. 

26. 🧸Out of the following characters, who is the most likely to secretly have a massive Beanie Baby collection?     

Frederick Chilton (30.8% from 273 votes)  - He probably just thought it was a good long term investment… 

27. 🌎 One of the characters from the show is convinced the earth is flat. Which character believes this completely unhinged conspiracy theory?     

Frederick Chilton (55.7% from 314 votes)  - C’mon… he’s a little unhinged but not THAT unhinged

28. 🧀 You are a Border/Customs agent. Which character do you catch trying to smuggle in unpasteurized cheese from France?  

Hannibal Lecter (52.6% from 215 votes) - Y’all… Hannibal is NOT going to get caught unless he wants to get caught. 

29. 🎞️ You're going to a midnight interactive screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Who is totally excited to be going with you? 

Beverly Katz (46.3% from 272 votes) - I picked Chilton because ... honestly, it's something Raul would totally do. LOL! But could you image trying to take Will? He would hate it.

To Be Continued ...

[0neir0z]

yeah i'll probably still use tik tok, but Even less than i did when i stopped posting media takes and general fandom content on there a while ago (it houses my drag and cosplay content primarily)... but as a commemoration to 15/16 year old nic, formerly hannibastardlecter, here's an update to one of my favorite stupid headcanon posts.

what the nbc hannibal characters are getting cancelled on twt for

will: he doesn't have twitter but this was a coup staged by his students: complaints about how he never grades anything on time, animal neglect, running away with a man instead of finishing out the semester. other people get on this train and it's for being an ex cop and also a fed.

hannibal: always getting into random fights on that damn ipad of his about anything really, unhelpful mental health threads, yapping too damn much, BUT nothing about the serial murder and the cannibalism because twt users rarely focus on the important

alana: ngl i cooked with this one the first time and it's for being a moderate democrat who Still thinks it's okay to reach across the aisle and be friends regardless of politics, calling her relationship with margot lesbian even though she is bisexual

freddie: are you joking it's literally everything you could ever imagine someone getting nuked on that website for, she doxxes and gets doxxed daily, it's where you can find the colostomy bag pic

abigail: the vegans got to her, never escaping the "what if she's like her dad" allegations, swiftie

bedelia: she is too grown to be on twitter but probably supporting applied behavioral analysis therapy and lowk being a terf (idk who i was when i had this take the first time but it is Correct)

jack: does not have twitter. probably just general hatred bc he is above all a fed.

bev: nothing honestly. probably just posts innocuous life updates and pictures with unmistakably gen x hashtags. a little funny.

price: being an old gay with old gay takes. fbi drag race era carson kressley.

zeller: i just Know that man was weird asf on there when he was in college in its inception

franklyn: Being So So Weird About Real People (hannibal), idk if twt has a cheese community on there but i bet they hate his ass also

not included in the original but matthew brown is a fucking FREAK on that website and so is chilton.

original if you even care: