#what pray tell do u think my mindset is

[pegasusdrawnchariots]

🛡⚔️🏰🐎

[ducktracy]

What is Daffy Duck, if not someone who gives people a hard time 🙏😔 we pray 4 u

TRULY!! THIS IS TANGENTIAL but this ask makes me smile BECAUUUSEEE... i've said it before but a very big part of my art process is connecting and communicating with the characters. making sure the characters i draw are authentic and feel like i'm drawing THE character (rather than presenting a drawing of the character) is one of my biggest artistic priorities. and to achieve that, i try to get into the mindset of the characters as much as i can. sometimes that's thinking like them, thinking of their mannerisms, and thinking of how they would react to me drawing them. i think of myself as a director telling them how to pose or what to look like, while also putting myself in their shoes and thinking how i would react to that

THIS IS A VERY CONVOLUTED WAY TO SAY some characters obviously take direction better than others. i think i'm mainly saying this because Daffy is my bread and butter, i have higher standards drawing him because it is extremely important that i get him right! so of course i'm going to struggle more in the process. but when this happens, i always chalk it up to him being "difficult" because it's certainly in character for him. of course he would be uncooperative! this is silly but it gives me a lot of amusement and also takes some of the edge off when i want to put my fist through the screen LOL

BUT YES thank you :) the good news is that i'm making progress! i've resigned myself to understanding that it's gonna take however long it takes. i'm only ever gonna review this once so i might as well make it count! likewise it's a very very important cartoon to me, so there's more to blab about so obviously that's going to take longer. when i was starting out i was getting 5 reviews out a day, but i need to remind myself that this entire project has exploded into something so much more than what it used to be in the 4 and a half years that i've been doing this HAHA.

thank you for your patience regardless, it's been fun to write in spite of all the hurdles and i can't wait to get all the screenshots together. look at him

[soleilnomoon]

could i also order a mocha latte with a chocolate (carmel) mousse with some poppy seeds! he/him ftm with eren pls💖

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ty for your patience, this was a lil labor of love. also i love a good fake dating trope!! and eren, i love him sfm (obvy but yk) 💗💗it's probably more angst than necessary but that's just how i live my life.

2.8k words, ftm reader (he/him pronouns), nsfw, 18+ mdni; hurt/comfort, angst~, smut obvy, some fluff if you squint real hard; modern au feat. fake dating/marriage of convenience, arranged marriage, eren living in denial bc that's what he does best, fingering, a lil bit of tlc on eren's part (shocker), mutual (unrequited) pining. reader is better than me bc i'd never have that much restraint but that's just bc i'm weak (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝); both of them need to get it together *washes hands* (if u see spelling/grammar mistakes, no u didn't (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝))

“i pray you do not fall in love with me, for i am falser than vows made in wine.” — william shakespeare

HORS D’OEUVRE

you remind yourself, for the twentieth time this week, that it’s simply business.

as your parents’ only child, it only made sense that they’d try to marry you off to the highest bidder — the business world is all about making meaningful connections, and you know that better than most. marriage was never something that you envisioned for yourself, but your parents rarely ever demanded anything from you, so the least you could do was adhere to their wishes.

and if you knew your husband-to-be would be this standoffish and hard to read, you might not have agreed — it’s a lie that you like to tell yourself, because it makes it easier to deal with his constant rejection. still, you did sign a contract — one he drafted outside of his parents’ prying eyes, one that he had you sign secretly; that you both agreed to one full year of marriage for appearances, that you refrain from interfering with one another’s private lives, and that you’d never fall in love.

you didn’t think much of it at the time, because there was no way in hell that you would fall in love with a man like eren jaeger. not when he looked at you like you were a nuisance that he was forced to deal with; not when he was so stiff and curt with you whenever you tried to drum up conversation; not when he barely sat for meals with you; and not when he refused to share a bedroom with you after you moved in together.

still, you hold your head up high, determined to see things through; the sooner this sham of a marriage was over, the better.

and eren was of the same mindset.

he argued with his parents until he was so fed up that he had to leave for a few days to calm down; an arranged marriage was always in his future, he just didn’t think it’d happen so soon. maybe it’s because his parents were tired of seeing him galivant with a different partner each week — maybe because the image of their company desperately needed a more family-oriented look (to draw in the masses, of course).

or maybe they wanted to punish him for being impulsive and hard-headed, for not wanting to take the path that was neatly laid out for him, and for simply rejecting the last twenty marriage candidates they presented to him over the past few years.

so, imagine their surprise when eren agreed to marry you — someone who kept to themselves, who didn’t cause trouble for their family, who seemingly looked obedient to the point that it made him sick. he figured the best way for him to live his life would be to use you as a cover up; you didn’t look like the type to complain, nor did you look particularly interested in getting married either.

it was the perfect solution to his problem, and it didn’t hurt that he found you attractive, too. not that he was going to tell you that just yet.

APPETIZER

despite how terrible his personality is, you can’t deny that your husband is handsome. you catch yourself staring at his profile while you wash dishes in the kitchen, eyes lingering on the shape of his jaw as you scrub the same plate over and over. he’s on the phone again, arguing with one of his friends — jean, maybe? — so you’re safe to admire him from afar, like you’ve always done. you try not to do it too openly because he tends to act smug when his ego is stroked, and you don’t have the capacity to deal with that just yet.

but also, more importantly, because you don’t ever want him to know that you’d give anything for him to come over and—

“i don’t care,” eren says loudly, his voice echoing from the adjacent hallway as he paces around. the noise startles you, so you turn to focus on the dishes before sneaking a glance at him again.

eren turns when he feels your eyes on him, and you don’t have a chance to look away fast enough. his eyes are a startling shade of green that matches his intense and audacious personality; you grip the wine glass in your hand a little too hard as he watches you. curiosity at your behavior makes him narrow his eyes and you assume he’s annoyed with you again. except, that’s not true at all.

he’s mostly annoyed with himself.

the marriage, in theory works just fine — he just did not consider the possibility of him developing feelings for you, not after being together for six months already. he finds every excuse to not touch you; barely looking your way in the mornings and evenings — the only time he even shows a modicum of interest is whenever you’re both whisked away to events that require both of you to be in attendance.

it’s out of duty that you comply, but you find it harder and harder as time goes on.

the first time eren kissed you was after you exchanged wedding vows — his lips were much softer than you thought they’d be, and while he’d only intended to give you a quick peck, he’d become entirely too immersed. you’d always found yourself disappointed with past partners because of the way they’d kissed, but eren truly made you feel like you would float for eternity. his hand was warm against the back of your neck, and you thought your heart would shoot out of your chest when his tongue brushed against your lips.

even though your lips parted immediately, eren remembered himself and refused to let himself get carried away. you were a little disappointed when he pulled away, but when you looked up at him you noticed the faint flush on his cheeks. you smiled to yourself, committing the sight to memory — which would become your anchor afterward — and genuinely enjoyed his presence throughout the rest of the evening.

where he was usually gruff and blasé, he’d suddenly become the perfect, loving groom. it unnerved and confused you; he was very adamant about keeping this as superficial as possible.

you wondered if it was part of the act? but if that was the case, why wouldn’t he mention before so you wouldn’t get so caught off guard. it made you skittish whenever his hand brushed against yours, whenever he offered you secret smiles and prolonged looks, and whenever he leaned down to whisper words of encouragement when it seemed like your anxiety over the whole affair was eating you alive.

it helped ground you but did nothing to stop your heart from beating rapidly when the realization set that you were married to him.

but by the time you got into the car to head back home, he sat as far away from you as possible, his posture stiff, expression unreadable. he’d gone from sociable and charming, to his usual petty self.

incredible.

“it’s just business,” he said out loud; you wanted to ask if those words were meant for you, or if they were meant for him. the question never leaves your mouth; you swallow back the rejection as best as you can, steel your features, stare out the window and remind yourself that falling in love with eren jaeger would be your downfall.

ENTRÉE / MAIN COURSE

after that, he makes it a point to only touch you out of necessity; he figures it’s the most logical and diplomatic solution to his problem. jean continues jabbering in his ear about nonsense, and he leans against the kitchen island, eyes tracing down the length of your neck and the slender shape of your shoulders. he really should take his conversation elsewhere, but he’s a masochist without meaning to be.

“uh huh,” he says noncommittally, a heat passing through him the moment you glance his way again — again, you’re doing that thing where you act as if you’ve been caught red-handed, like some doe-eyed deer in the middle of the night. and maybe you are, or maybe it’s all an act.

little does he know, you’re much too aware of his presence now, and your hand slips when you grab a plate and it shatters in the sink.

“damn it,” you say loudly and start to pick up the large pieces without thinking; you cut your hand and try to clean out the wound as best as you can. eren hangs up the phone in the middle of the conversation to make his way over to you; the scent of his cologne suffocates you in the best way, and when you turn and offer a small smile so you can rebuff his offer to help, you hesitate.

“let me see,” he demands, “don’t even think about arguing.” he casts you a sharp glass, one that tells you to behave, and for some reason, you find yourself wondering what would happen if you didn’t follow that command. but eren’s already grabbing onto your wrist and inspecting your palm carefully, long fingers gliding along your skin softly, making you a little dizzy. goosebumps prick your skin down your arms when he drags you to the bathroom so he can properly dress the wound.

you don’t know what to make of any of this; the questions pummel through your throat, bouncing around your mouth, desperate to escape. you never let them, though, and swallow them back with as much patience as you can muster.

“hop on the counter.” he lets go of your hand and rummages through the cabinet; surely, he’s joking, and you stand there stupidly, blinking at him, not moving an inch.

he grabs the first aid kit and narrows his eyes at you, the look he gives you is disarming and he steps close enough to place his hands on either side of you, gripping the counter tightly. “that wasn’t a request, you know.” your skin burns fiercely, and suddenly it’s hard to swallow; you do your best to hop on top of the counter in the minimal amount of space he allows you.

unfortunately for you, he does not let up. eren takes his time cleaning the wound properly before applying some ointment and wrapping it. he holds your hand much more delicately than you’re used to. you watch him, wide-eyed, breathing unevenly as you contemplate how to proceed with this man. for all the bullshit he puts you through, you know he’s lying to himself about his feelings towards you.

especially when he keeps looking at you tenderly, but also with slight annoyance — like he can’t figure out what to do with you yet. on impulse, he leans forward, lips brushing against yours and he knows that if he kisses you, there’s no turning back. you don’t make it any easier for him when you allow him to stand in between your legs, his hands gripping your hips and causing our mind to go blank.

you let out a soft noise, one that nearly incapacitates him; his cock strains at the front of his pants, making everything that much more difficult to deal with.

he knows he should leave, but he can’t — not yet, anyway. it’s eren who grabs the back of your neck and holds you steady as he kisses you, mouth moving against yours agonizingly slow, tongue gliding into your mouth with familiarity. the kiss leaves you both breathless, but it doesn’t stop him from kissing you again, nor does it stop you from helping him unzip and tug his pants and underwear down. his cock is smooth and heavy when you stroke it with your uninjured hand; the kisses transform into something feverish and frenetic, your skin warming significantly when you feel his hips jerk forward the faster your hand moves.

pre-cum slides down his tip, a welcomed sight in your book. you smile against his lips when his patience wears thin — he tugs on your clothes to strip you bare, and you do the same for him. you wrap our legs around him, hold him close to kiss him one more time — mind a muddled mess the moment his fingers enter you, scissoring around, pumping in and out lazily. you moan against his lips, hips rolling forward as your nails drag along his skin.

after plucking his fingers out of you, he rubs the head of his cock against your needy entrance, a shiver crawling through you at the sensation. you whine and fuss, telling him to hurry up.

he tsks quietly and shoots you a mischievous look, one that makes you nervous in a good way. there’s nothing soft or gentle about the way eren fucks you; but every time he does, it becomes much more intimate in its own way. you both knock things off of the counter, his cock sliding in and out of you, lips dragging along your throat, littering your skin with kisses and bite marks.

you clench around him desperately and he angles his hips to power into you faster and deeper. you moan his name so loud it only makes him want to fuck you harder; so he does. he’s not sure if it’s his heart or yours — or maybe both? — that beats loud enough to make him wonder if any of this is real. you’d say yes, if he ever had the courage to ask — but, as usual, his cowardice somehow wins out.

still, you can’t really complain; not when he keeps whispering in your ear, giving you the sort of praise that makes your toes curl. when you wrap your legs around him, hold him closer to you, he gives you short, brutal strokes, hips knocking into yours roughly.

it’s then that you really scream for him, and his lips find yours again as a lightheaded feeling takes over your entire body. you both cum simultaneously, a feat that surprises him; he rolls his hips lazily, cock sliding in and out of you for a little while longer until you both can’t take it. he doesn’t pull out right away and allows you to rest your forehead against his chest; a faint sheen of sweat coats your skin, but he holds onto you anyway.

when you place a soft, chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth, he realizes he’s in too deep. he pulls away suddenly and is already putting up his walls again.

with great difficulty, you climb down and reach for him, but he evades your touch and grabs his clothes so he can put them back on.

DESSERT

panic settles in your chest, the sinking realization that he’s going to run away from you again makes you clean up quickly so you can follow after him. he knows you won’t let this go, so he decides to cut to the chase. eren faces you and with a stern, severe expression, he says, “i can’t do this right now.” and he really can’t — or, rather, doesn’t want to.

to him, that’s the end of the discussion, but you’re so damn persistent — something that both was admirable and obnoxious to him — and stop him again.

“no,” you say firmly, which surprises him, “yes the fuck you can. we’re doing this right damn now.” you leave very little room for argument, so he relents; maybe if he lets you talk at him for a bit, you’ll drop this.

“what is it?”

your bravado slips but you still hold strong. “eren, we can’t keep…,” you trail off, lips pursed as you try to find the best way to say this, “i mean you can’t keep stringing me along like that.” you had feelings and a fragile heart, one that you willingly give to him over and over. his teeth sink into his bottom lip as he mulls over your words. “what are you so afraid of?”

he almost blurts out the truth, but instead balls his hands into fists at his side and attempts nonchalance again.

you won’t let up, though and poke at his chest with your finger. “i never pegged you for a coward,” you say harshly, which gives him pause. “i’m not going to have a half-assed relationship with you, i deserve more than that.”

he doesn’t speak for a long moment, the silence choking you, making you want to hide under your covers for the rest of the day; but then the strangest thing happens. resigned and wholly captivated by you, eren sighs and pulls you close to him. it’s an embrace that makes you question his motives, but his lips ghost along the curve of your ear and you can feel your heart pummeling against your rib cage. you will it to keep quiet, but it never slows. despite trying your best to remain calm and patient, you wish eren would hurry up and give you his answer, and before you can pester him about it again, his arms wrap around you and he whispers, “okay.”

[j1998v]

my big sister is so fucking exhausting to be around that i have to leave the room in order to protect myself.

im seriously so tired of her, the way she acts, behaves, her mindset, every. single. thing.

im constantly in a turmoil bc im a Christian and love thy neighbor, but she is one of the only two people i hate in this world (the other is my father of course)

i have forgiven everyone but -

oh im tearing up typing this haha . i have forgiven everyone but she. she. i fucking hate her so much , she makes my life miserable. it is an absolute HELL to live with heri hate living with her

she doesnt know how to turn down her volume in the house for my baby sister at all

-she is the messiest and most disgusting person ive ever fucking known. i dont even know how its possible to live like she does, she LOVES filth im actually starting to cry from the rage in my heart. im so fucking sick and tired.

-i even told my mama that sometimes i pretend she doesnt exist ; the reason is because, we have chores right ? she never does her chores AT ALL. we are 4 sisters, her the oldest, me second, another sister and a baby sister . SHE NEVER DOES ANYTHING . I CANNOT . CANNOT EXPLAIN ENOUGH HOW MUCH SHE DOESNT DO SHIT.

i have prayed. countless fucking times about her to the Lord. asking Him to give me strength to keep tolerating her, times when i pray and just scream. she is insufferable. the heavens knows how miserable she makes me. saying that i am sick and tired of her is an understatement.

my parents joked . "haha youre like the oldest sibling haha"

oh. how fucking funny. that fucking hurts me so fucking bad. i assure you that she was never in my life. she was never there for me. she was absent my entire life. so of course im the most mad at her in my family; where was the big sister i needed? now im full on crying lmfao.

i am. just so sick.

we have a small shop, we'll never be rich but food is always on the table

but she.... SHE IS SO FUCKING STUPID

SHE THINKS WE ARE RICH OR SOMETHING, SHE JUST EATS EVERYTHING IN OUR SHOP. SHE DOES NOT THINK. LORD IN HEAVEN ABOVE I AM FUCKING SICK OF HER - SHE EATS ALL OUR PROFIT. i want to scream. please...

does anyone get me PLEASE... please understand how frustrated i am.. she just eats and eats and takes and takes.... we have no profit... how will we make a living if she keeps up this act? i only take things from the shop when necessary , anyone would be angry too........... im tired

and when i tell her about this she just rolls her eyes, sometimes saying "you are younger than me dont tell me what to do" you are acting like a child you bitch.

its not just me as well, my mother, MOTHER, has vented to me multiple times about her . about how nothing can get to her head . do you know how fucking stupid u have to be that your MOTHER vents to her child about you ??

i hate living with her .

[thegirlwhotalksaboutherlife]

Last week 21/12, I went to Clarity to get help. I couldnt help myself anymore, I keep thinking about my situation. Every single day. So my friend encouraged me to go to Clarity. I’d be lying if I wasn’t nervous cus I was damn nervous. I even thought of myself “is this going to be okay? If i tell everything about my situation, would this be on my medical record? And yada yada” I was overthinking alot and my friend calmed me down. Thank god without him I wouldn’t be so brave to go to Clarity. So while I was having my lunch with him, I tried to call Clarity and texted them. But there were no answers, I wanted to give up and my friend told me to go their office, which we did….. took 2 hours while waiting for them to attend us 😓 heh. After 2 hours, I went to meet the psychiatrist and asked her if she was available today. Sadly, she was fully booked til late night (damn I know). So i asked her if there any psychiatrist available today, she told me most of the therapists were on leave due to Christmas (silly me). Then Alhamdulilah, my other friend recommended me this psychiatrist but different branch. I tried calling her first but she didnt pick up, after few mins, she called me back. So I asked her if she was available today, she said she can meet me at 4:30 pm and I agreed. So I went home to freshen up and dad called me and he was asking me where did I go. So i had to tell him the truth and I cried infront of him. So he agreed and told me to meet my therapist. So yeah, met my therapist and told her everything. My case, my mom, my family, my life and I vented out everything. She told me I have PTSD due to my case and we talked for about 1 hour or more I forgot. She told me to take the depression test and the results were bad. She said she thought I had stress and depression. But sadly, I was diagnosed as Depression, Stress and Anxiety. But it felt good to vent everything from ur shrink. I think it was a good decision of me seeing Clarity but I wonder after the 6 sessions I go through with her, what if it didnt work out? What if I am still the same? Which I am worried about. Of course my siblings didnt agree with me seeing therapist. They said do u even have depression? What kind of counseling are u attending? Sometimes people dont know if ure okay or not. They see us we’re okay but deep down we are not. This is Bruneian’s mindset, they said pray to Allah, I did pray to Him. But it is still the same? So I decided to go on medical treatment. They said meet Ustaz and tell them u want to change and all? This is Malay mindset. Sigh, whatever Fuck them anyway. I just want to get better and new version of myself. So I will be seeing my therapist next week Wednesday and I hope it goes well. I just want to change myself and focus on myself. I hate the old me, the overthinking, pessimistic person. I have to admit, my thoughts are all negative and since I was a kid, my thoughts were all negative. I dont know why but I guess my parents were never supported me when I was kid? I dont know. But anyway, i guess it was a decision meeting my Therapist. InsyaAllah, 2024 will be different and going to better than previous years. Aamiiin.. ❤️

[flovverworks]

hewwo. imma talk a little about ch15 & pt2 in general maybe so far cuz<3 i have still not read ch16. despite saying i would. it has been a week to say the least.

anyway<3

im not gonna get into my teehee liliana & the staff theories until ive read ch16 cuz. maybe ill change them after that who knows! either way my head was working SO hard at that part. usually i take breaks while reading to a) process b) sit and think about future akira scenes i think would be cool. so u can imagine what i did when it started dawning on me that it was rustica lili wanted to isolate. have nvr felt that much dread in my LIFE. told my friend about it and she went "hehe i purposely didnt tell u about chloe&rustica"....................... im GRATEFUL cuz it HITS but mein gott!!!

vent time but im So glad rustica & chloe went back to feeling 'old dude looks after young adult hes kind of the guardian of' for me..... 'look after (chara) for me' always reminds me gbf s1 when aarons dad asks katalina to look after gran (and katalina l8r calling herself 'grans guardian of sorts' HAAAUUGHHH anyway) ;-;. i was. kind of Rly upset during the ch where murr compared those 2 to lili n greg....LOL...did not like that writing decision all. and then gbf had a richard->therese thing again and im STTOOPPP STTTOOOOOOOOOPPP truly do hate having to expereince the same feeling twice in both games i love dearly

anyway i Did talk about that on twt while i was reading that ch but i nvr talked about it here so

DID cry at shylock comforting chloe. shylocks mindset is SO fascinating to me, i rly adored his pov......gonna carry that with me for a while it was a Rly good part

in general im always kinda 'wow!' at how theyre all characterized, its very beautiful. definitely think its a huge part of why im so attached to both it and everyone introduced. will always remain my hugest love & recommendation part of the entire thing. like, again, figaros pov......cain & arthurs reactions when owen was w/ oz.....very good.

fausts. pov. ????????????????????????????????? cried. thought about his last part nonstop. the way he viewed himself when younger......figaro leaving cuz figaro has his own issues....being betrayed by his bestie............still praying for them until he hits the point of 'wtf why should i'..............man its ssooooo good......theres that line in particular of the feeling of thinking somethings wrong with him that makes ppl leave him that.....man...........wanting to care for the trust the sage is handing him...........man hes ssooooooo..............faust everything to me levania........its rly good. also something i will carry with me for a while, the last part of the ch is just so so good

[capriisunni]

explaining manifesting to myself

today i took my permit test (and passed ofc) and while i was waiting for my papers it just hit me how easy manifesting is.

before taking the test i took a deep breath and told myself “i’m going to pass since i know all of this and it’s just common sense.” and i in fact did pass. but in my head i didn’t think i manifested it. i just knew it would happen.

it clicked to me that i used to see manifesting as an equivalent to praying to god, universe, higher power, etc.

but really it’s just me. i just have to believe in myself in order for things to work since it’s my mindset, my body, my life, my brain, my knowledge, my perspective. all MINE. 

the universe wasn’t the one taking the test for me. i was taking it myself and it was the fact that i knew i would do good and that i knew what i was doing that allowed me to pass. having faith in myself.

i’ve seen so many blogs that say one day manifesting will actually click to you and you’ll realize how easy it is and how much power you actually have and today was that day :)

everything that i’m seeing now is based on my perspective (perspective = assumption imo). you could be seeing it in a different perspective because that’s your perspective. your own; nobody else’s. e.g the color pink. we all label the color the same but do we actually see it the same way? it’s all based on perspectives.

so the way i’m seeing it is not manifesting. it’s believing in something (my desire) having faith and/or believing in myself or telling myself what i want to hear (persisting) and confirming it in my outside perspective (changing the 3d).

since everything starts from within (the 4d) if u have faith or just persist in that assumption (or desired perspective) it has no choice but to show in your outside perspective.

and the fact that i know all of this has been said already. nothing that i’m saying is new, but now it all makes sense to me. so if your seeing this and are like “everyone says these things why does it still not work for me.” it’s because it hasn’t fully clicked to you yet, but it will.

it’s like solving a math problem. they teach you many methods and you see it being done and answered by others but for you it doesn’t work. one day you will have the realization on how it works and it’ll all make sense to you.

[cowboycakes]

hey sheppie, can you tell me some things you love about johnny joestar 🎤

finn. you shouldn't have asked (yes i'm going to tell you so many things i love about johnny. thank you for asking i love you i squealed when i saw this.) but, like, don't feel obliged to read this. i am in love with him. i am obsessed with him. you've been warned.

tw: my opinion and my own (dumb, prob wrong) interpretation of johnny is in here. like lowkey johnny discourse. this post is kinda sad too. mentions of mental illness and (jjba canon) violence/death. also me gushing about johnny obviously.

SBR SPOILERS!!!!!!

#. johnny is so beautiful. like he has the most breathtaking face ever (esp in official art and towards the end of sbr. official art of johnny is what broke the camels back and made me watch jjba.)

#. prettiest when he cries.

#. i relate to him, and his character makes me feel less alone. he's sad and i am too. it was refreshing to see a male character feeling emotional and defeated and explicitly showing it instead of keeping a straight face. i enjoyed seeing a character who feels perpetually guilty and seeing how that guilt intrudes his mind constantly, to the point that his guilt physically follows him around (as danny the mouse.) he's ashamed and he hates himself. and every time he'd break down from said guilt and shame and self hatred, i would be like "no! its not your fault! don't cry!" and that helped me reflect on my own life... sometimes life hands you shit cards, but that doesn't make you deserving of it. and the human spirit is still built to overcome it. johnny reminds me of all of that.

#. cowboy! yee haw!

#. i love his storyline. i loved how much backstory araki let us see (though reading that shit was painful.) and i love love love johnny's monologues throughout SBR, especially how his narration at the beginning parallels his narration at the end. way to crush my soul.

#. i know he's kinda framed to have "righteous" goals... but imo he's amoral and most of what he does is out of self-interest, and i like that about him. only time he breaks away from that mindset is when someone he cares about is in question.

#. he's a nervous lil guy. i like nervous guys.

#. kissable face. cutie patootie wanna snuggle him. he just looks like he's good at cuddling and he's lowkey wearing jammies. the other day my irl friend was like "johnny looks like he's wearing a onesie" and that's kinda right. his clothes look soft i wanna put them on.

#. he’s got the hottest poses sorry i don’t make the rules. he's always arching his back n spreading his legs n shit

#. we are both horse girls.

#. he's OP as fuck. AND he's willing to throw everything away and sacrifice himself to achieve his goals, which was extremely exciting to watch. like every fight scene with johnny in it had me so hype. like the FUCKING SCENE WHERE JESUS SHOWS UP AND JOHNNY USES HIS NAIL BULLETS ON HIMSELF. one of my fav scenes ever.

#. LOOKS SEXY WHEN HE'S MAD <3333 and when he's not mad he's just being cute. he's so damn cute.

#. hates the american government.

#. dude's kinky!

#. i love his relationship with gyro. canonically, i don't know what it is. i do believe they loved one another, like so so much. i think they had what love is at its core: devotion, loyalty, sacrifice. and they both had goals consuming them the whole time, but their love for one another ultimately outlived those goals, and johnny's love for gyro outlived gyro himself. the way that gyro's last thoughts were of protecting johnny, the way johnny prayed for gyro's safety and it was all in vain, the way johnny ended up carrying the wrong corpse "home." all of it is absolutely gut wrenching and i cry about it daily and it makes me love johnny's character even more.

#. i love his sarcasm and deadpan expressions

#. HE WEARS BLUE LIPSTICK N BLUE NAILS ARE U KIDDING ME!!

#. TUSK!!!!! tusk. the cutest ever. that's my baby. and the way Tusk is named after a song from my favorite band... Araki did that for me and only me. i love that tusk evolved as johnny's character developed. i love how johnny freaked out when tusk first appeared. like dude chill that's just a little pink guy.

#. i love his name. jawny.

#. johnny showed concern for lucy when barely anyone else did. and lucy deserves the world. so.

#. stupid little hat with stupid little hair horns

#. fat booty.

[vinnival]

WAIT I ACCIDENTALLY FOLLOWED YOU IS THAT MEAN?? UGH I DUNNO BUT WOULD IT BE ALR IF I ASKED FOR A MADNESS COMBAT MATCHUP,,

i don't really mind any pronouns but i use she her! i'm 5'5, and currently questioning my sexuality (ALL I KNOW IS IM NOT STRAIGHT BAHBAH) i have fluffy dark brown hair, shoulder length im pretty sure?? my hair is fucking whack, i have brown eyes, and my skin doesnt decide whether it wants to b light or dark, but most of the time it can b pretty light and i havent gone outside 4 a bit,, pls send help][pray]]

my personality is also very idrk,, weird?> it really depends on who im talking to because i have a fear of losing people but uhh,, i'm very playful and a bit harsh, i pick fights with people,, i really enjoy listening to people vent and helping them, some of my friends consider me to be a mother figure to them and it makes me super happy honestly-- i get angry easily and it leads to me saying prickly things to people or just me breaking things, im scared of making new friends and meeting new people because of the way i am, i tend to act like a cat like meowing, hissing, and stuff like that,, i also really like attention but like,, not too much attention because its just annoying, and im an asshole.

im currently obsessed homestuck and madness combat. I think true crime cases are really interesting to me, making games on roblox, and bullying little children on there

i didnt know if i should put this here but i have mental illnesses, such as autism, adhd, d.i.d, and other things that will make me feel like one of those people that make me feel kinda gross

I DONT KNOW IF THAT WAS GOOD MY ENGLISH SUCKS WHAWAAHBJNKFMLDS

I'll finish this when I'm done with all the prompts and hc requests!

finally..... after 2 months..... all done !! Here we go ! Enjoy <3

MATCHUPS ARE NOT OPEN YET

You got a match! You're matched with...

2BDAMNED

<3

First off lemme say: he'd love bullying kids on roblox with u

Oh yeah father figure with mom friend? Perfect match

He forces you to help him take care of the boys but u don't mind because you love him <3

Ngl he probably met you off of a random website that was miraculously still up in Nevada

Replied to one of your comments or something along those lines??

He said something silly n so you were automatically intrigued

"hey lol" -ur first text

lord u were NERVOUS

But !! You immediately hit it off w him! You both slowly but surely knew more about each other

He didn't fully trust you as a person (anyone can be out to kill him tbh) so he was restrictive, but he was confident in the firewalls and proxies he set up so AAHW won't find him

Alas after enough days he finally felt comfortable enough to meet you irl

You felt 100x more nervous, scared even, but you trusted him enough to only bring one gun

Finally, you two met, immediately growing comfortable in each others' presence

2B discarded the pistol and knife he had hidden away, and you tossed away your pistol

"Don't toss your gun what the fuck"

"I do what I want pissbaby"

You can tell he gave you a scowl; "just as mean as you are online, I see how it is"

Your eyes narrowed playfully,"If you expected anything different change your standards"

Since he knew you love to rile people up for no reason, he kept calm. He would usually keep calm in these situations, so even if you didn't tell him, he'd be good

Whoa you act like a cat? He thinks that's p cute tbh

Hank also loves interacting with you bc of your cat-like habits

Oh man. Loves. I mean, LOVES. petting/brushing ur hair .

So fluffy......so pretty....

When you've had enough attention, he picks up on it immediately and respects ur boundaries

Also loves watching true crime with you ! I can see him being interested in other serial killers since he has to deal with one himself and would like to know more about their general mindset instead of directly asking hank a metric shitton of questions

He takes you into his work space while he works so u two can just talk yanno

If you start getting riled up for any reason, he stops what he's doing, gently grabs you, and leads you out of there so you don't break any of his hard-earned equipment

Aye you werent complaining he holds u so gentol....

If you have an episode of any kind, he's there to try and calm you down. He has multiple methods of calming people down depending on what type of crash they're having, if u dissociate and need help remembering what ure doing, he's totally fine with reminding you ! Don't be ashamed or afraid of your mental state around him, he's as close to a doctor that one could be in Nevada, so he won't judge you for what you have. It's a part of you :] !!

Asks you out in the dumbest way possible (in your opinion)

He gets back in the site you first met him on and shot you a message

You were confused when you checked it the next day on the same computer he used

"So... Want to date?"

"2B?!" You yelled, your voice cracking

it's been so long since I've done my last madcom matchup that I literally had to look at one of my old ones to remember how I formatted it Bruh

anyways I hope u enjoyed !!!! <3

[niks-minion]

crack request of me right now but... is it bad that i kinda want this top three + deku teamup to fail 😭😭 or at least not go to plan.

like look, i get why the other kids got left behind, since they're neither deku the mc with the op power nor the top heroes with sometimes decades more experience, and the way horikoshi has been scaling their powers it's usually only deku who gets to have the bamf explosion of power moments outside of training (the other kids do help out for sure, but usually it involves careful planning like the put gigantomachia to sleep thing, and generally they're not allowed huge displays of power, so that makes u feel like they can't keep up with deku) but like... it rubs me the wrong way. what we're doing now is grooming deku to be the sole pillar (a concept proven shitty and unstable) while the other kids aren't granted the chance to have all might or whoever pay extra special attention to them. like all might sucks as a teacher tbh. even in 284 he has the other kids take time from their own training regiments to help deku instead of like... making up an exercise that benefits the whole class and deku. he left behind 39+ kids who looked up to him and needed guidance (basically implying they're not worth his time, are not gonna be able to make a difference) at a time when the world around them is falling apart.

and like... i get it, deku is the mc, he's gonna get special attention, he's gonna get the cool powers and the bonus training or whatever. im absolutely not mad about that. i'm also not expecting all the kids to get equal relevance or whatever. you could argue that we've got no time to waste on training the other kids and their feelings. but i can't help but be a bit frustrated that horikoshi created so many cool characters with so much potential only to have it seem like they'll end up sidelined. like it feels atp like the tertiary protagonist is endeavor not shouto.

and ig what im asking for is the other kids rising to the occasion. even if they don't have guidance from the symbol of peace or full support from the top three heroes, even if they don't have the generations passed down power, even if they're not the chosed one, even if they're left out of plans and treated like they're secondary, id like to see them defy expectations. I'd like to see a scenario where the old heroes won't cut it and where the kids take charge to bring about some genuine change in both the world and the hero system. i want to see a scenario where the current plan fails and they need to be bailed out by the kids (+everyone else). i'd like to see the other kids grow out of both a desire to be great heroes and spite lmaoo

like i know this is probably irrational wish fulfillment on my end, and im not a writer so this probably wouldn't make for a cool story to anyone but me, but damn do i want it and damn do i miss the kids.

Ok. Hello my dear anon. Now that’s a long ask.

Ok. Warning. My opinion may be a bit biased, and also more focused on the origin trio than the whole class, bc let’s be honest it was obvious from the start there the main focus would be.

1. Let’s start with the fact that I’m not a Deku hater. Yes I make jokes, yes the sole focus on him makes me bitter bc we all have our favorites and want them to shine, yes I’m dying to see tdbk team up, bite me. That doesn’t mean that me, you or any other person wishing to get smth more is a “die Deku die!” enthusiast.

2. Your opinion is valid and understandable. Honestly, I get it. More so I think that’s gonna be the case bc come on, you can’t tell me that this dream team is gonna just kick a couple of asses, scream “plus ultra” and restore the whole country back to normal. I call bullshit. I’ve heard the guess that it may be a mirror to Katsuki’s kidnapping during the forest arc. (Would be cool bc the whole class could come to the picture and save him, plus Deku realizing he’s not alone etc etc)

3. About Deku being op and others being in his shadow.

Well, yep, as you’ve said- our broccoli boy is the mc, so 🤷🏻‍♀️

But taking jjk for example I don’t feel bitter about Megumi. And in Haikyuu I didn’t feel bitter literally about any character, especially Kageyama, god damn it’s the most satisfying shonen manga for those who has “I usually like mc’s bff/rival more” mindset. (it’s me)

That’s why I’m gonna die in the hill of denial that in bnha at least Bakugou and Todo are not gonna end up eating dirt and be satisfied with the average place somewhere behind Izuku.

Welcome to my praying circle, let’s sit and drink cola/wine while waiting for tumblr to go mad with the frames of other class 1A ( 2a now) kids. Plus Shinsou. Plus shiketsu kids, why the fuck Inasa wasn’t at the war arc, wind throwing villains here and there?!

4. The most irritating thing for me is this.

And this

Again, I totally get it. They need to protect ofa. What’s the better place for it than being sandwiched between top to heroes. And yes you can say the others are just kids and dealing with real life threats is too early for them. Deku simply has no choice. I’m ok with it.

But holy shit, was I disappointed to witness this exact frame...Yeah, yeah, call me Shouto simp, whatever man. But the build up, the “here is my hand, let’s fight together”... it’s only natural for me to to wish Todo was there too. I’m craving for Shouto/Hawks/Enji team up.

About Deku’s arms. Excuse me, but... it had so great drama potential. That he injured his arms and for now is unable to use them to the full capacity or something. I’m a sucker for a good angst so🤷🏻‍♀️ but then it was solved just like that? Ok, what did stop you to order these gauntlets like half a year ago, ha?

Welp, It’s for the reason that our duo is out of the picture. Suspiciously so.

Let’s wait a bit and hope for the best.

[enavance]

hi i’m here to once again start a discussion / meta about a song that i relate to cherry.  on this episode,  we’re pulling apart falling in reverse’s popular monster.  some of the lyrics are hit or miss because you know obviously this is based on ronnie’s own experiences,  but some of the lyrics are really suited to cherry and i’ll bold the relevant lines as i go or omit things as needed.

also holy shit this is like over 1600 words,  not including the lyrics of course,  and  . . .  congratulations if u read this jkbdfbkvd

i wake up every morning with my head up in a daze i'm not sure if i should say this,  fuck,  i'll say it anyway everybody tries to tell me that i'm goin' through a phase i don't know if it's a phase,  i just wanna feel okay, yeah i battle with depression,  but the question still remains is this post-traumatic stressin' or am i suppressin' rage? and my doctor tries to tell me that i'm going through a phase yeah, it's not a fuckin' phase, i just wanna feel okay

okay,  yeah,  i struggle with this bullshit every day and it's probably 'cause my demons simultaneously rage it obliterates me,  disintegrates me,  annihilates me

cherry has always been hot  -  tempered since she was younger,  but now as she’s grown and grown into her role as the warrior of light and coupled with all of the things she has endured from the beginning of her journey to where she is now.  she lived a relatively peaceful life until imperial garlean forces invaded her village and uprooted her life and destroyed everything she once knew and forced her to make anew.  cherry struggles with severe depression and ptsd,  and much of that contributes to her trauma response and why she’s so quick to lash out in a form of a defense mechanism.

'cause i'm about to break down i'm searchin' for a way out i'm a liar,  i'm a cheater,  i'm a non-believer i'm a popular,  popular monster i break down falling into love now with falling apart i'm a popular,  popular monster

with everything cherry goes through,  it’s a wonder she hasn’t snapped completely yet,  but she has come so,  so,  so close so many times.  she is self  -  destructive in her coping methods,  whether intentionally or not.  sometimes she realizes and notices her harmful coping methods,  sometimes she doesn’t,  but her mindset is that if she’s not hurting anyone else,  it’s fine.

however,  what she doesn’t realize is that her distance and cold shouldering and keeping people at arms length is hurtful because people are just trying to be there for her,  but she won’t allow them to due to her debilitating fear of allowing anyone to come near her,  physically or emotionally,  and risk them forming an attachment to her and vice versa.

she doesn’t want someone to feel hurt or pain in losing her and having to mourn her.  cherry is a serial escapist in that she will disappear for months at a time and wander off looking for the most dangerous jobs,  not only because she needs the money and thrives off of the adrenaline and that she has an inherently reckless nature,  but it’s that deep  -  rooted self  -  destructiveness.

i think i'm going nowhere like a rat trapped in a maze every wall that i knock down is just a wall that i'll replace i'm in a race against myself,  i try to keep a steady pace how the fuck will i escape if i never close my case? oh my god,  i keep on stressin',  every second that i waste is another second sooner to a blessing i won't take

cherry doesn’t see herself as a hero.  to a degree,  she understands that it’s not her choice whether or not she is seen as a hero.  other people will call her one regardless based on her accomplishments and achievements and decorated contributions to the preservation of eorzea and the shard as a whole.  as vain as she is,  and as much as she boasts of her strength as a warrior,  which she takes quite a bit of pride in,  she’s surprisingly somewhat humble when it comes to being seen as a hero that people look to for light in the darkness and idolize.  she just sees nothing special in it because of how many people still die,  how many things are still lost and destroyed.  her own pessimism stops her from feeling positively towards any association with being a hero.  she doesn’t want to be celebrated or praised,  but she won’t be mad if someone compliments her skills and says she’s strong.

cherry is an extremely guarded person and this is something i discuss at length with her keeping extremely tall and thick walls up to protect herself and the people around her due to her life experiences and the trauma she has been through from before ARR to where she is now post  -  SHB.  she’s afraid of letting anyone in.  she’s afraid of caring about people,  despite the fact that she does because deep down she is caring and kind and soft and she just can’t help herself.  she tries to convince herself that she’s not as close to some people as she thinks,  but she is and it would kill her to lose anyone else.  and deep down,  cherry knows that it’s much the same for her friends as well,  that it’s too late,  that they do care about her and someone will be there to mourn and grieve her and she hates that.  this is why she flinches at softness,  any soft gesture or touch or kindness,  even more so when it comes to romantic avenues.  she will run and run and run until she’s sure you’ve given up on pursuing her.  much of this is also tied into the fact that caring about someone is a weakness to a fault because an enemy can sniff that out and use that against her.  they could take someone that she cares about and use them as leverage or kill them or hurt them to get to her and she is so deeply afraid of that most of all.

cherry refuses help constantly.  she shoulders everything and is the first to volunteer to do anything dangerous.  she makes her own recklessly stupid and dangerous plans and rushes in headfirst without much thought.  she is stubborn and will insist on doing everything herself,  even the most menial tasks.  she doesn’t want to look weak,  not that she is or that anyone even thinks that of her,  but she doesn’t want it to appear to anyone that she has any weaknesses because she doesn’t want them to be turned against her.  she refuses help that would otherwise be blessings to make her life easier.

okay,  motherfucker,  now you got my attention i need to change a couple things 'cause somethin' is missing and what if i were to lie?  tell you everything is fine every single fucking day i get closer to the grave i am terrified,  i fell asleep at the wheel again crashed my car just to feel again it obliterates me,  disintegrates me,  annihilates me

cherry is as honest as they come.  perhaps too honest,  sometimes.  however,  when it comes to her own wellbeing,  she will lie to fool others into thinking that she’s fine so that they don’t worry about her.  she doesn’t want to be worried or fussed over,  and most of all,  she doesn’t want to add to anyone else’s stress or make them waste their time with her.  cherry doesn’t take very good care of herself,  physically or emotionally or mentally.  she barrels into danger without thought,  is impulsive,  extremely reckless,  and she doesn’t talk about her feelings to anyone or discuss the traumatic events that happened to her with anyone.  i think the only people she may have opened up to are haurchefant,  maybe thancred on occasion,  ardbert because she’s fine talking to him because her logic is  “  who is he going to tell  ?  no one else can see him,  ”  maybe aymeric but never wholly in detail,  and maybe estinien.  cherry is terrified of opening up to people.  she doesn’t care if people see her as being awful or anything,  but she’s afraid of being seen as vulnerable and having all of those parts of her open and raw.

she’s not actively suicidal or anything or ever thinking about dying.  in fact,  she’s deathly afraid of dying because of the people who care about her and because the fate of the world rests on her shoulders.  she doesn’t want anyone to ever feel the pain she did losing her loved ones.  she doesn’t want them to mourn her.  she doesn’t want to risk the dying of this star just because there’s so much at stake and so many people and the world depending on her success and her being alive.

still,  despite that,  despite knowing that and that being an enormous fear of hers,  that doesn’t stop her from being reckless.  she is extremely self  -  destructive and impulsive and doesn’t think too much,  if at all,  before committing to something,  even if it’s an extremely bad idea.  she does do harmful and self  -  destructive things just to feel things,  hence her being somewhat of an adrenaline addict and chasing danger and diving headfirst into fights or battles and facing off with dangerous people,  even if outnumbered.  she revels in danger and the feeling of adrenaline rushes and actively being battered and bruised in a fight.  she probably would crash a car,  honestly,  just to feel something that is beyond the despondence and depression that she’s come to know post  -  shb.

yeah,  here we go again,  motherfucker,  oh we're sick and tired of wondering praying to a god that you don't believe you're searching for the truth in the lost and found so the question i ask is,  yeah,  where the fuck is your god now? 

and by the end of shb,  knowing the things that she knows of hydaelyn and zodiark,  she’s extremely jaded and even more pessimistic than she was to begin with.  in the beginning,  she didn’t know what she was coming into,  when joining the fray with the scions and learning of her own abilities with the echo and hydaelyn’s will and her involvement.  as time passes and hydaelyn’s absence becomes more noticeable,  she begins to feel abandoned,  and she wonders if hydaelyn is simply content to allow the shard to die and with it,  its people. 

even upon learning of the mother crystal’s weakness in strength,  learning the truth of everything,  the forming of the worlds and hydaelyn and zodiark being primals,  she begins to heavily distrust hydaelyn and wonders if everything had been a lie.  what else had hydaelyn hidden from her  ?  what else was a lie  ?  cherry has never been religious,  not really,  and she wonders if the gods are really out there.  hydaelyn certainly isn’t the god they all thought she was     —     she is a primal.  they have placed their faith and worship in a primal who disappeared and left them in darkness and silence.

cherry is left in a pretty fragile state come the end of shb.  she has lost so much more,  and she feels as though she managed to accomplish nothing despite everything that she has had a hand in doing.  there is always something else,  always something more,  and she feels as though it’s never going to end and she is exhausted.  she will never tire of helping people,  not truly,  but she feels such an emptiness within her and i really think that losing anyone else important to her,  specifically people like thancred,  the twins,  estinien,  aymeric,  she is really going to spiral harder than ever before and i really don’t know how cherry would come out of it in one piece.

[mikeholdher]

Here’s the problem...

Instead of debating, arguing, or whatever you call it for simple understanding. People always want to be a clear winner. So from that point forward you undermine the whole conversation.

You aren’t listening for understanding anymore. You’re listening so you can respond. And when that happens you cloud your own judgement and ability to think rationally. Something someone said that makes perfect logical sense you write off completely cause it doesn’t fit your narrative or if you agree with them you feel like you are losing.

I really wish less people had this mindset cause it ruins not only so many potential friendships but also the opportunity to mentally grow. You can learn so much from other people if you just listen with an open mind. 

Scenario from earlier:

“Well I’m not going to date a tumblr person ever so...”

“Out of curiosity why is it a bad thing that I have a Tumblr??? Like what is a Tumblr person? So if I didn’t have a Tumblr you wouldn’t care?”

“Nvm. Too much to explain u won’t get it.”

“Thanks for insulting my intelligence there. So instead of explaining it and helping me to better understand something. He won’t get it... I'm not going to push the subject anymore. It's obvious I'm not worth your time or the explanation. I honestly pray your situation gets better and you find whatever it is you're looking for.”

“See what I mean ? U spin it to make yourself the victim. I dont date people I meet on tumblr. That's just my rule. There happy ?”

“See here's the problem. You're speaking from a place where there needs to be a clear winner and clear loser in this conversation...meanwhile I'm just trying to better understand a situation. I don't care if I lose. I can admit I'm wrong. I can agree with someone even if the outcome isn't ideal for me. I'm not sure you can do the same. In all seriousness I'm not being sarcastic here or trolling.You're right you don't owe me an explanation. I asked and instead of saying no. You told me I wouldn't get it.Those are two completely different answers. One simply says no. The other says I won't tell you cause you won't understand.There is no victim card there. It's a simple fact...you think I lack the capacity to understand = insulting my intelligence. How is that playing the victim?”

“It's like like a teacher going through a whole lesson...getting to the end and a student raises his hand and ask them to elaborate on something. And the teacher tells them they wouldn't understand...that's exactly what it is.

 “ Ok.”

“We went through this whole talk earlier and this whole time you still think its because i want to make you feel inferior or force you to date me...that's the sad part about it.”

“I'm already off that. I'm thinking in terms of how I can better understand you. or any female for that matter so that it doesn't happen in the future.”

“ Like am I making any sense at all? “

And to be honest with you after reading I come off as condescending I think. And it’s not intentional at all. It’s a literal condition that I have from going through chemo and radiation that messes with my short term memory. So I struggle to get my point across.and have to re explain stuff I tell everyone this ahead of time and it’s like they just ignore it. It’s why I tell everyone I hate texting...verbal communication with tones and inflection are so much easier for me. It’s not me being creepy or trying to finessed a phone number or anything it’s legit an easier form of communication.

It’s frustrating getting profiled cause I’m a Male over the internet who slides in a DM and no matter what I say people don’t believe me.

I’m getting off topic. But the point I was trying to make is that everyone is so stuck in an “I don’t owe you an explanation,” mode or “you wouldn’t understand.” That it hurts society as a whole.If people were more open about sharing experiences and facing their traumas they’d realize a lot of the things they go through some of the people right next to them deal with as well. Anxiety, depression, feelings of loneliness, inadequacy, unrequited love, irritability, financial instability, and whatever else you can think of.

Like whenever someone ask me about cancer even though I’m still processing things from it I don’t turn them away. It makes things easier honestly. I get things out that have been weighing on my mind and stopping me from moving forward. And they learn more about something they are curious about. It’s a win win scenario.

   “You are living proof that life is tough. It takes a incredibly strong person to fight like you did and continue to fight when your world is turned upside down. Seeing you fight is inspiring and makes me appreciate every little thing so much more. Bro if you ever need somebody to talk to, a ear to vent to or just somebody to bullshit with I’m here. I know we’ve never met and we don’t really know each other that well. But just know I care about you and that’s the least i could do, in return for the way you inspire the world.” - Frankie

    “You are a fighter. Your mentality, positivity and strength throughout this difficult time has been an inspiration!” - Nikki  

    “Legit you’re put thru trials because you can handle them.you are an amazing individual for having the strength you have and you inspire me!everyday is a blessing not a guarantee. Stay strong brother you’ve made an impact on this life” - Andrew

    “Damn man that last part hits different cause I always talk about how I just want to change people's lives and just be a positive influence. I'm glad to hear that. Let's me know I'm making progress on being a better version of myself. Not only that but making sure the people around me feel the same way.” - me

    “Yes sir I’m aware about the people around me trust I’ve had a very interesting up bringing and I notice peoples struggles. And I’m open to peoples struggles. Your story is inspiring and I love that! You have affected me in a positive way so thank you 🙏🏾 you’re a fighter and I respect and admire that more than anything” - Andrew

      “Thank you for the warning. More thankful for the sharing of honest words and REAL photos. While you may struggle with pride, your willingness to be vulnerable is admirable. Keep sharing. Keep fighting. ❤️.” - Kelli

These aren’t even half the people that I’ve talked to or shared my experience with. But each and every one of them has made this a lot easier to deal with. Now Imagine going through all of this alone. If I would have turned everyone away because I thought they were all the same.

So please don’t judge people from jump and assume that they are all the same. We aren’t. With everything going on in my life it’s a waste of energy to be petty, negative, or manipulative. It only hurts me in the long run cause I lose out on life changing experiences. And I know better than anyone tomorrow isn’t promised so I have to live in the moment.

“You have about 4 weeks to live...”

“This is above my pay grade so I have to send you up the road.”

“We’ll do our best to save your eye and make sure we don’t damage the brain.”

“We don’t know what it is. Cause it behaves like fibrous dysplasia but that take years to grow. This keeps coming back in months.”

“He’s coding... What happened?” passes out*

“He’s not responding to the epi pen.”

The list goes on...

[twilightvolt]

Twilight Thoughts (BEASTARS Episode 6)

SPOILER WARNING AS USUAL.

Episode 6:

- Ok, so first we--someone’s dead again.

....o h .

Of course, everyone’s like “Whelp, gotta dip, carnivores. cya.” and Jack be a sad boi. ;w; man, these guys have it hard.

- Then we get introduced to our next main character from the trailers: Juno!

Imma be honest, i was really iffy about her before this because i was hoping her character isn’t what i think it would be. and i’m sure any Persona 4 players who’re watching this show can get what i’m about to say.

.....I hope she’s not like Rise.

For those of you who haven’t played P4, Rise came off as SUPER clingy to the main protagonist. at least in my opinion. i know some say she’s best girl, but no. not for me. that’s Naoto’s title. lmao

I am praying that Juno doesn’t do the same and become clingy towards Legoshi and like, becomes that character that just feels like a shoehorned love interest because y’know, she’s a wolf too. so far, she seems ok. she was being bullied and Legoshi stepped in and played hero for a moment which was great. but her mentioning she was also in drama and also one of his kind just kinda raised a little red flag for me. i dunno.

Also, shoutout to the way he saved her. like “I’m her older brother.” but then she sees her face and he like “D-damn! We look nothing alike!” i’m sorry, i’m ded. lmao

- I was excited to see what the world outside the school was like. i’m the type who likes taking in all the little things and seeing the town be all bright and bustling was just so nice. then i heard Louis be like “Don’t go to the black market.” and i was like “Wh-....b...black market?” O_o

Oh no, things’re gonna get crazy again, aren’t they?

Y’all don’t just tell people not to go somewhere. that’s cartoon talk for “Go there. That’s where the plot is.” lmao

- So they eatin’, gettin’ that W c D o n a l d ’ s , and i’m like “Huh....I want fries now.” and then a little while after the episode, we come home with fries. and i never outwardly asked. it just happened. and i was like “MY FEELINGS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED.”

And Legoshi’s just sitting there quietly eating like a third wheel and i’m like “Dude, same.” also, Bill acts very much like one of the popular kids at school that i totally used to have to be in the same classes with and i swear i felt a twinge of old school annoyance resurfacing.

Still, it was fun seeing what the town was like. i’m hoping we get to see it much more in the coming episodes.

- And then they get lost (Thanks, Zoozle Maps. XD) and accidentally end up in where? the black market.

And i was thoroughly traumatized.

I was like, “Oh, it’s an old shopkeeper. probably sells weird trinkets or so-” *Shows his fingers. or lack thereof*

U-uhh....w h a t ?

Like, it’s the black market. i expected it to be weird. but like....not this disturbing.

He was just, like, selling off his LIVING body to the carnivores and i was like “Oh god, that’s horrible.” goodness, i signed up for this, huh?

Then i hear the market theme and hear some sick beats and i’m like “dONTCHU THROW SOME JAMS AT ME AT A TIME LIKE THIS I CAN’T VIBE TO THIS nO-”

And then Bill be like:

And suddenly i wanted to beat him upside the head. thankfully, my boi did that for me. lmao

But for real, i was mad, but like....it’s understandable? like, i hate that i understand enough to not be totally angry with him, but like....he’s a tiger. and ngl, after the bunny blood, i did NOT put it past him to react like this. i just wish he weren’t so....B i l l , y’know? the more he’s on screen, the more i wanna smack him, but i still actually kinda like him enough to see where he might go as a character. cuz he’s not a bad guy, he’s just.....an idiot. it’s weird. XD i’m still holding onto my theory that he killed Tem tho.

Just....man, this is heavy.

And then they cut to right after the last episode where Legoshi and Haru finish their heart to heart moment and then they cut back to him running off through the market street not knowing what these feelings are. like, he genuinely likes her and he can’t stop thinking about her.....but at the same time, he’s uncontrollably drooling?....i dunno man, sounds like you’re just hungry. and that concerns me.

Oh, right, right afterward he gets taken in by the panda from the trailers whom i believe is named Gouhin? but yeah, he ties him up in chains and a muzzle and proceeds to interrogate him about his feelings toward the one he thinks he “likes.” and then shows him a wall of pictures. pictures of carnivores just like him that have tasted meat and couldn’t get over it. to the point where they uhh......yeah, let’s just say i was shook by the things he said. like, that could potentially be what happens to Legoshi and honestly, that’s really sad and i don’t want that to happen. i legit felt a chill when i saw some of those photos. no joke.

Then i guess he takes him to the next room and has a little chat with him. what the conversation was about was basically Gouhin telling Legoshi that his “love” isn’t real and he should cut ties with Haru if he wants to not eat her by accident. but in a way where it sounds like he’s telling him off for it cuz Legoshi was like “That’s not true! we’re friends!” and he basically says that Legoshi’s way of thinking is a childish, flawed mindset. like, d a m n . he verbally smacked him. lmao

Then he starts to leave, but not until Gouhin hands him a copy of bunny porn.

“If you get excited over this, then you’re just a young boy with a fetish for small animals. if not, and you stick with your one rabbit, that’s bad.”

Ok, so if he feels something, then he’s just a weirdo. but if he doesn’t, then he’s in danger of eating her and that’s a BIG problem. huh....kind of a lose lose situation here, don’t you think? ._.’

But yeah, Legoshi runs out thinking to himself about how much he hates this and that he wants to forget everything that just happened. and honestly, this is the point where i kinda felt sad enough to cry. cuz this is an innocent kid that wants to stay connected to someone they believe they love, but then reality just hits them REALLY hard. and they just want to cover their ears and stay unaware about what’s really going on.

All this time, he believed the adults just stayed vegetarian cuz that’s probably what he was taught or maybe what he assumed because of how he was taught. but when you think about it, not everyone can repress their true feelings forever. they’re animals. it’s in their nature.

He keeps trying to tell himself that this is okay. that he won’t hurt her anymore than that first night. but....is that true? can that be true? or is this just some twisted sense of “love” that ends in yet another unfortunate death? things seem to be getting more and more frustrating for him and if i didn’t feel some form of sympathy for him i sure as hell am now.

But....i wanna believe he can overcome those feelings and stay close to her. maybe they won’t be able to be a couple. they might just have to stay friends. but anything to let him be happy, y’know?

The episode ends with him finding Aoba the eagle again. he tells him that he just couldn’t go through with eating that guy’s fingers cuz he thought of his herbivore friends which just made him feel icky about it. and yeah, that’s understandable. birb boi is a good boi....who probably just stuck by Bill cuz he wanted to fit in, but y’know.

This causes Legoshi to cry and yeah, i broke after that. i was highkey imagining an alternate ending where he just runs up to him and hugs him crying in a full on bro moment and i kinda wish that happened cuz honestly that would make me cry a river. for real. i would die.

And i guess that’s that. this episode was quite a wake up call for Legoshi at least. but here’s hoping things look up next episode. see you again!

[damn-daemon]

hi! may u please give us a cute and happy moment with ruth and tommy? i love them so much already

Why thank you! Let me see…

On the sixth day that Ruth Coleman and Thomas Shelby knew one another, the morning dawned bright and clear. The summer’s heat had yet to pick up, and Ruth took the opportunity to enjoy what she could of the day before the bugs became unbearable. 

There was precisely one tree left standing in the area, having not been taken down for the trenches or railways. The surgeons had threatened anyone who dare come near it with destructive purposes, while the nurses hung colorful bits of string from its branches. They would sing Sunday hymns in its shade.

That was where Ruth found herself, reading a book sent by her sister. The little devil that she was, she’d scribbled comments in the margins, criticisms mostly, corrections. Sometimes she simply wrote ‘I miss you.’

She heard him before she saw him. Even in the grass, Ruth could make out the purposeful strides of Thomas Shelby. 

“So you’ve escaped again,” Ruth said, making a face as she turned the page. Marie had all but scribbled out half the paragraphs. If she was so determined to hate the book, perhaps she just ought to send her edited version. 

“I’m not fond of standing still,” Tommy replied. She heard him strike a match. “Something from that fiance of yours?”

Ruth couldn’t help but smile, closing the book and standing up. Tommy was leaning against the trunk on his good shoulder. His left arm was still in a sling, but when no one was watching, it was usually free. Being hurt, it seemed, was a waste of his time. 

“Do you always say ‘fiance’ so disdainfully, or am I an exception?”

A smile tugged at his lips as he took a drag from his cigarette. “Suppose I said that you were, would that make any difference?”

“I suppose not,” Ruth said, smiling as she leaned against the tree herself. “I’m afraid that I am in love with my intended and am bound for those wedding bells.”

She glanced at the book. “It’s from my sister, anyway. She fancies herself the next Mary Shelley, which has disturbed my father to no end. Albert is less of a literary mindset. He writes short sentences, and usually has a reference or two to the weather.”

“Sounds like a fascinating man.”

Ruth just sat there, open-mouthed for a moment. “And what, pray tell, is your grand life story?”

Tommy was silent a moment, thinking, his eyes holding a distant look. Perhaps she should not have asked him about home. No one really wanted to think of it out here.

“I come from a family of gypsies, and together we run an illegal betting shop.”

Well, if Ruth Coleman had expected anything out of the quiet sergeant, it had certainly not been that. 

“Scared you off, have I?” Tommy asked when she’d been silent for too long. 

“No,” Ruth said quickly, shaking her head. “It’s just, you don’t seem like the type.”

“A gypsy?” 

She could hear an edge to his voice. That was dangerous territory. 

“No. A man who needs to do anything illegally.” 

That made him pause. For a moment, he seemed confused. She supposed not many people simply brushed off the idea of him being a gypsy, but her hands had been covered in the blood of Catholics, Protestants, and Jews, the British, Frenchmen, and Germans. It was all the same shade of red. 

“Well, that’s what gypsies are good at. Telling fortunes and stealing money from toffs.”

“Ah, is that why you like to talk to me? Have some scheme in mind?”

“Well, now I’ve given myself away, but how much money could a nurse in the field possibly have?”

Ruth pursed her lips, thinking. “Well, Coleman isn’t my actual surname. It’s Albert’s. I simply used it so the army wouldn’t make me stay behind.

“My real name is Ruth Carlisle.” 

She could see the wheels turning in Tommy’s head, hilariously so, as he sat there letting his cigarette burn down, completely forgotten. 

“As in Carlisle Shipping Company?”

“That would be the one.”

Tommy tossed his cigarette aside. “Exactly how much do you love your fiance?”

Her brows furrowed. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I’m about to grab the vicar, wherever he is, and have him marry us.”

Perhaps it was the straight-faced delivery or the utter absurdity of his statement, but Ruth broken into a grin, and then an uncontrollable laugh that had her bending at the waist. The last time she had done so, she’d been back home in London.

Tommy laughed as well, and for a moment, she finally saw something other than distant pain in his eyes. 

[michelle-maya]

3:11pm where I am. I’m at home now and I have to leave for ATL in 4 days to go back to school. I’m dreading it, because I absolutely hate it there. Im dreading it so much that I get sad, anxious, and annoyed just thinking about it. I’m trying my best to calm myself down and stay positive because I know it’s not good to go into things with that type of mindset, but I also don’t want to tell myself things will be better and end up disappointed again. Other than that, I hope things are good w/ you

🥺 i know this feeling. One thing I encourage you to do. Breathe. Understand that for every negative thought, you are manifesting negativity to com to you. Your feelings are valid though and it is ok to feel them. I hated school and am a college drop out so i really am proud of you for sticking it through. I encourage you to think about something-anything that brings you joy in these moments. Start with gratitude. Make a list of what you are thankful for. Because you are so blessed. And when u think about how much worse things can be u tend to find more peace in your current situation. Think of things you WANT not things you DONT want and you will attract the good. I encourage you to find what you enjoy doing. A hobby. A passion. And DO IT. MAKE TIME FOR IT. Force yourself to find the joy in this situation. Find the joy in where you are because the great thing about life is God and the Universe always places you where you are supposed to be. You never know who you will meet! Something GREAT can take off at ANY TIME ANY DAY. And it would have never happened if you weren’t THERE. and that’s the power of your thinking and manifesting. Find that joy love. Create it. I started my youtube. Something i doubted in myself. Now i find joy being proud of myself for doing things i thought I couldn’t do☺️ one day at a time. One small step at a time. And remember it’s all in your thinking. I pray for divine protection over you out there. I pray for peace over your thoughts and decisions. I pray you find joy and a breakthrough out there. I pray for blessings on blessings this year for you. You got this love. I’m proud of you🙏🏾🖤

[robotslovedeath]

Why You? | Draco M. x Reader (2)

A/N: Fuck it, I'm writing the second after not even 24h :)))) hope yall are happy uwu smh only 30+ notes for part 1 and thats more than enough for me,,, i love u all 💖

Word count: 2,050 words

Warnings: Cursing.

Summary: Y/N's been awfully interested in Harry Potter ever since she met him the first day she arrived at Hogwarts. Not that everyone else did, but crushes. What else could she say? It isn't until Draco, coincidentally crushing on Y/N, spots Potter and her laughing wholeheartedly, like nothing else in the world matters. Frustration hits him unexpectedly, and he tries everything to get him to lure you to him, eventually making you his.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 |

Sunlight hits your skin, carefully waking you up by the second it caressed you. You were thinking about what had happened yesterday, trying to remember everything. That's right, Draco Malfoy had wished that you should rest, after that stupid gesture of slapping Harry. You knew it wasn't right, but why did he have to mention Malfoy everytime Harry was talking to you?! Was he obsessed with him or something? Didn't he catch on by now? How could he be so foolish in a time like this?

You got up from your bed, changing in your robes and grabbing a few books from your shelf. Morning wasn't exactly your cup of tea, having to wake up so early. However, you knew Hermione and Ron were already awake, making you smile widely, excited to join them again. For Harry.. you wanted to wait for more than a week before talking to him again. Or maybe apologize now and forget about it? How the hell were you suppose to say sorry and get over it in only such a short matter of time?

Maybe Harry isn't my best choice..?

You think to yourself, before frowning and shaking your head in resentment, feeling the bitterness of your jealousy pitch in. He had someone else in mind, didn't he? Could it be? What if you were just over thinking everything? You knew how aggravated you could get sometimes, especially when one of your crushes had their eyes on somebody else.

Stomping around the coridors and walking inside the Great Hall to join your friends, you notice Harry eyeing you, touching his cheek before excusing himself, to leave you, Ron and Hermione alone. Your heart broke in millions of pieces, each and every one of them stinging your insides as you tried your best not to worry. Hermione rubbed your back soothingly, while Ron tried to make up reasons as to why he left. "No need, Ron," You cut him off, smiling softly, feeling as melancholic as ever. Your eyes glistened, tears falling free out of your E/C orbs. It was like you had lost the tiny stars that usually shun in your pupils. Your cheeks were soft as they held the taste of salty tears.

During breakfast, you couldn't help but see Malfoy, always staring back at you. He almost laughed everytime he thought back to when you slapped Potter across the face. Although, you ignored him, simply playing with your food or talk to your friends again. After what had happened, you weren't hungry, nor tired. All you needed was someone to talk to, someone even closer than the trio. Not that you hated them, or didn't trust them. You just wanted space away from them.

Parting so early, Hermione pouted at the notice of your exit. She told you it would be fine at the end of the day, and that you didn't have to worry about Harry. You picked up your belongings, waved goodbye and left for class. It was way too early to be heading there, but better be safe than sorry. God, it had to be Snape's class too. Way to start the day.

"Hey, Y/L/N, over here,"

"Y/L/N.."

"Y/L/N!"

You were startled by the sudden yelling, turning around to see who it was-

Draco fucking Malfoy.

You couldn't believe your eyes when he had just ordered you to come his way. Who did he think you were? His little pet? Chuckling, you shook your head in disgust and walked away from the now angered blonde-haired male. He was furious, thin brows furrowed while he trailed behind you, your body getting pulled backwards without hesitation. "What the fuck, Malfoy? What do you possibly need from me, for you to drag me away towards you?!"

He expected that response, a sly smirk forming on his pale rosy lips. "You know, Y/L/N, I've always wondered why you hated me. Is it because of what dear Potter told you? Do you truly believe him after that night?" He was easily teasing you, you backing up in a corner as Malfoy had you right where he wanted. "Uh.. to be precise I, uh.. I-I mean, y-yes," It had been a while since you stuttered your sentences, feeling yourself becoming weak and unsure with the questions he was about to ask you. "Aren't you too good for anyone, though? I've heard Potter mentioning great things about you. Like how selfless and helpful you are for your comrades. He doesn't see you like how you see him. He acts just like.. your little fanboy."

You were left speechless. What Malfoy had said was getting through your head. Was it true? Who could you believe? You hadn't known Malfoy for a while but, what if he was correct? What if everything was just a lie and that he had been been playing with you? Hermione and Ron had hinted plenty of times to Harry that you liked him.

He knew, didn't he.

"I-I.. Draco.." You began sobbing, thankfully your sleeves were wiping everything away. But it kept going and going, when would it stop? You made such a fool out of yourself, in front of him, too. It was at that moment a large figure embraced you; comforted by the touch, you stayed there, mesmerised by how gentle the gesture was. None other than Draco finally spoke, looking away from you.

".. Never speak of this," Draco whispered below your ear, hot breath tingling your neck. He felt absolutely devastated. Not only did he just undoubtedly tell you that he loved you, but just witnessed you crying for he 2nd time today. It was an issue that he could get way more attached than he intended to, insisting on accompanying you to Snape's class with him. He just had to have the same class, didn't he?

You two walked together in silence, Draco about to speak, then giving up on ever starting a conversation. It was too awkward to talk anymore, you being too tired to make an effort or just desperately wanting to get inside the classroom and forget about everything. That's right, you wanted to forget. While Draco, him on the other hand, had enjoyed every second. He had you placed exactly as planned, and he didn't even try his best. Was he a genius or a genius?

"Mr Malfoy. Miss Y/L/N. Unusually.. early. And together..?" Snape stared at the two of you, curious as to what you would reply with. "I wasn't with him. He just happened to be in my way. I'd be grateful if you didn't get the wrong idea, Professor," That proved you were in your wrong mindset, talking back to your teachers in a way you would never dare use. Oh boy, did Draco love that side of you. He goddamn loved discovering what else you could do.

Class finally started and went the same as usual. The trio being shocked to find you here before anyone else but otherwise it was like any other normal Hogwarts class. Snape rounded the class up, eyes especially locked at you. "Do not forget your assignments tomorrow.. any excuses will be a detention with me.. class dismissed," At last, you could now go and take a small break before heading to your second period.

Draco kept an eye on you too, following you as always instead of meeting up with his friends. He got way too attached by the second he laid hands on you. It.. wasn't pleasant. You're now heading close to your other class, wondering if Malfoy had the same. You prayed to God he didn't. He was behind you for Potions and all he did was mumble and stare. Mumble and stare. He didn't even look that happy and it genuinely made you feel scared for him. No reason to, but you just did.

Sitting down on the ground, you patiently waited for the second bell to ring, leaving you to go to your next class. Not now though, you had to finish off your F/B. Chapter 11 was always the interesting part. Meanwhile, Draco was hesitant. He took a deep breath, stepping towards you to back away again. It was useless. You weren't ever going to give him the attention he craved, were you?

"Y/N,"

You looked up, seeing the familiar boy stand in front of you. A deep sigh escaped your mouth and you stared back down at your F/B, uninterested as to what he had in store for you now. The way he looked at you earlier; he was serious. Probably a bit too serious. Not the Draco-- Malfoy, you knew earlier. You didn't want to get involved again, knowing what he had accomplished an hour ago wasn't something you wanted to experience again.

"What do you need now, you annoying cutie-?"

Did you just say that? Out loud? You didn't mean that at all. You swear it was an accident.

"ANNOYING PRAT. ANNOYING. PRAT. What do you want, Malfoy!" You smile widely, embarrassed, nervous and regretful towards yourself. You wish that was Harry- however life wasn't always that generous. He laughed, louder than usual, and crouched down to take a look at your book. "Huh, you read F/B? Never thought someone like you would be interested in such genre," That's fine.. he wasn't touching on the fact that you called him by the nickname 'cutie'. "And.. you shouldn't get too cocky, Y/N. Who knows what a cutie like me might achieve once alone with you?"

Now he was going way past your likings. Fuck! Why did you call him that in the first place? He wasn't cute.. or adorable.. he wasn't sweet.. you didn't find him charming at all. It wasn't like he was handsome too. None of that you thought of course. You liked Harry. Harry Potter. Potter, the one who rejected you. The one who had gotten slapped. Everyone knew about that too. They couldn't believe someone from Y/H would dare do such a thing to The Boy Who Lived. "..Merlin's beard, will you please just- just leave me alone. Please. Just once," Your sighs were repetitive now, everytime Draco was in sight.

"Understandable, sweetheart," He muttered, leaving you behind with a wink and light brush of his hand touching yours. You hated how you melted at that single action. It wasn't normal for you to be so tense around a guy you despised with a passion. What else could he be planning behind your back? When you were distant from your friends and family, you had plenty of reasons to stay alone by yourself. You could finish so many assignments with no one around.

The next class finished in a mattered of minutes, already grabbing your stuff and heading straight for the door. After all this fuss, it was lunch. You were starving. You kinda felt like Ron right now, craving anything that deemed edible but at first entering the Great Hall. Alone, book in hand while feeding yourself, your friends were immediately coming towards you, wanting to catch your attention ever since this morning.

"Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N!" Hermione yelled, "Where were you this whole time?! We've been wondering and saw you with Malfoy, is everything okay?" Ron hurried over next to you, examining you head to toe. "Thank Merlin, you're okay. Why were you sat at the back during Potions? And what happened during 2nd class? You nearly fell asleep at the back! Again! You're never ever at the back!" They gave you a reason to smile slightly, putting your book down and explaining everything. Expect for when Draco hugged you.

They were all surprised but were glad you were okay. The only person missing that didn't show up was Harry. You hadn't seen each other since this morning, making your heart ache. Your smile was widening again, being the wonderful sunshine you use to be years ago. You missed this. You wished Harry was there to see you.

"Y/N," Speak of the devil, "I need to talk to you. Privately," What was so important, all of a sudden?

"I know your secret,"