#what people see as small talk usually entails more nuance and thought than is visible | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

soft-lily · 9 months ago

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this is something im very mixed on

in one sense it's a mood, i don't like being asked that. in another sense i, at this point in my life, see it's usefulness.

something i realized as an adult, especially one with anxiety, is that this is a low stakes prompting question. it's far easier to ask someone "how x was?" vaguely than be direct and say "anything memorable happen to you at x today? were you safe during x today? what was your favorite part of x today? ... etc"

i don't think everyone is really asking these questions when they ask "how x was?" but for some they can. and sure some situations i will directly ask, but it's not unreasonable to see situations where a vague question with more intent behind it, is necessary.

"how was work" carries the same energy as "how was school"

#what people see as small talk usually entails more nuance and thought than is visible #as someone who is neurodivergent it took me years to pick up on social cues like these #so i still dont like small talk but am seeing its benefits #i do still like directness most of the time #but vagueness can be what ppl need at times #my partner is great about this #when i first met her #she would ask me “what's up?”#i would panic and be like #did i miss something?#but no she was giving me a low stakes prompt to talk with her #so now i share things without her having to ask that #communication #relationships

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