#what other soul crushing movies would you recommend tho

[gomzdrawfr]

Yk despite for doing angst around the stuff I do(draw and write) with similar and same kinds of themes each time, I still cannot bring myself to watch la la land and a star is born

[zzencat]

Hiiii

Initial -sh. Emoji 🤗 ( well I don't remember exactly to be honest)

Q- can I know about my career in which field I will be working

I love your pacs I think I sent that message in the previous ask

what’s good SH!!!! idk if you were an anon when you sent that in? maybe i answered it way back then (memory kinda doodoo rn) but i appreciate your love fam 😎👊 i hope you find some clarity in this. thanks for waiting!!

first and foremost tho, before i get into your reading, i just wanna say that you shouldn’t give up. believe in yourself a bit more, even when it feels lonely at times. ESPECIALLY in a time like this. (i got some extra info from your cards like 15 mins later and for the sake of privacy i won’t say it explicitly. but i’ll send crazy good energy your way 👊🔥) i also would recommend that you don’t dwell on negative thoughts too much, esp from the past or from your surroundings, and to try out more…selective hearing. it’s a term id learned while studying graphology, but it’s essentially choosing you want to listen to and filter out who you don’t. you don’t need that extra negativity weighing out the only light that you hold left in your soul. also, don’t let other people make decisions for you!! half, if not all, of our dreams are crushed by other people, or maybe it was hard to have one in the first place. i’ve picked up a lot of stagnancy and pessimism on your side, a lot of overthinking the same things and maybe adding a few perks to them, the cycle of rumination, thinking about the lows and how ungreen the grass is when you should be just as happy as everyone else! why can’t you have that too? it’s a bit unfair, isn’t it? with your current energy atm, you’ll have to charge through. a simple job would do—it really doesn’t have to make all that much. there’s a focus on expectations here…and wanting more. but i want you to focus solely on what YOU want. whatever brings you satisfaction and reignites your fire is the one your highest self would push you towards. if you’re unhappy with your situation, what are you gonna do about it? this is for you: “is that all you can do?”

also there’s a scene in a barbie movie (idk if you’re familiar w it, but i’ll mention it)…i think it’s the princess charm school one(?) but Barbie’s name is Blair in the movie, and she says something like… “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” and that line sticks out to me so much bc it’s so true. that even applies to ourselves. the mind is a very dangerous thing, but we have to train it, learn its language, and let the negative energy go.

AND LASTLY, i have no doubts for your future tbh. it says you HAD everything you need, which is past tense, so either you’re feeling hopeless and lacking the spiritual will for it, or you’re missing ingredients to cook the stew. but something creative would also do you nicely! you could make a hobby out of it if you already don’t engage in anything…artful(?)

some more advice for you: let go of toxic beliefs, don’t sink into hopelessness, and you are not alone. set higher standards for yourself and those around you. extra: separation from a place, thing, or person gives you XP for growth points to the game of life! don’t give up because of some losses here and there. there’s nowhere to go but up from here! don’t reminisce on the bad.

[shiishki]

okay wait, i changed my mind. you should answer all of these questions as well, if that's what you want from me >:)

oof there's a lot of it, that's what i get for wanting to be ✨aesthetic✨

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

vowels (and the importance of being me) - hunny

honeypie - jawny

pretty young thing - michael jackson

mirrors - justin timberlake

sunflower - red orange county

paradise - rude-a

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

a therapist.

ok someone else.. uhh,, my grand grandma because i only have scratches of memories but i dunno if that counts since she passed away...

*rummages through ancient scripts* uhh ok someone who isn't dead.. uhm,, tommie? yeah I'd like to meet them if i could meet anyone on earth

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

ok, the closest german, english or polish book? nvm i have english

"suddenly was. So I just said thank you a few times too, and Mum" ironically this is one of the normal lines in this book

4: What do you think about most?

the fact that I'll have to do something after school. and I don't know if i want to go to college or get a job bc i have no legitimate idea on what to do with my life. it gets overwhelming, just the lack of knowledge about the actual experience.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

Ok

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

with, tho i sleep with just shorts in summer

7: What’s your strangest talent?

not sure if it's a talent, but i can fall asleep anywhere

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are pretty. boys are pretty

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

by me, yes. no one else has written a poem about me specifically. nvm, tommie wrote one and it shall rest on my wall, or desk, i need to find a place for it

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

uhh i think last month?

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

i don't think so, but i am hella afraid of the possibly gigantic, terrifying things in the ocean depths that humans haven't discovered yet

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

yep, beloved legos as a lil child

13: What’s your religion?

i can't ever remember the name, but i believe gods (from all religions) exist in some way or form. so i believe in different pantheons and etc.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking my doggo, skateboarding, thinking about how to make the lives of my characters worse

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind it.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

uhmm the arctic monkeys? or the strokes

17: What was the last lie you told?

i know what i want

18: Do you believe in karma?

yes, the rule of three specifically

19: What does your URL mean?

i don't know. it's something me and my sis came up with and that's just my whole identity now.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

uhh greatest weakness.. i can't finish things. strength is that I'm very stubborn so maybe I'll finish that thing out of spite

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

i grew up thinking crushes were like unicorns. my ex was odd enough to argue with that i didn't love her if i didn't have a crush on her. but I think if i had to guess.. selena gomez, especially in the role of alex russo in wizard of weverly street

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

nope

23: How do you vent your anger?

i write angry letters. sometimes they're sad letters. i write a lot of letters. except i never send them out and no one made a movie about them :}

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

jars and witchy bottles, books? scented candles

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

phone calls are stressful enough as is, i don't need you to see my reading off what i frantically wrote to not stumble over my words

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

i think so, yes, but that won't stop me from becoming better

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hate flies buzzing right by my ear, love cat purring

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if I'd been born in a place where it was illegal for me (nonbinary) to live, in a time when others thought of me as a curse?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

they be chilling.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right arm, doggo, left arm, pillow

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

fresh air and doggo, because doggo is with me and I can't live without open windows

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

i dunno tbh

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

which one is less homophobic?

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

every gender is my opposite gender. selena gomez and justin timberlake

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

to make it easier for people down the line

36: Define Art.

make thing, thing goes woo

37: Do you believe in luck?

yis

38: What’s the weather like right now?

it's nice actually, very sunny, slight breeze

39: What time is it?

12.59 am

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

i don't, but i once crashed into a fire department vehicle with my bike. bike ded.

41: What was the last book you read?

Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

i legit ass don't know what gasoline smells like.

43: Do you have any nicknames?

many variations of my name, aka. Luce

44: What was the last film you saw?

i think it was Robin Hood: King of Thieves, but it might have been that half of spider-man homecoming i managed to watch with my poor internet

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

oh man i dunno... it's not an injury, but i was very sickly as a lil kid and almost died :)

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

once, years ago

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

hmmm horizon zero dawn i think

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

proud pansexual ^^

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

not really, i don't think they're big enough to be actual rumors,, meh

50: Do you believe in magic?

yis

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

meh. they suck, i know they suck, that's it.

52: What is your astrological sign?

cancer ♋

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i attempt saving. attempt

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

for my own money, sweets. i bought lizards for my cats so they can brush their teeth from my dad's amazon acc

55: Love or lust?

luv

56: In a relationship?

nope, i buy my own cookies

57: How many relationships have you had?

1, kinda toxic toward the end, very stressful, don't recommend

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nu ><

59: Where were you yesterday?

on the fields walking my doggo

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yep, a pastel pink hoodie in my closet uwu

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

yis, thicc warm socks

62: What’s your favourite animal?

cats

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

cuddles and food.

64: Where is your best friend?

bold of you to assume i have a best friend.

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

tommie-hildebrandt, kageyuji, nekomas-kuroo, joyful-soul-collector

66: What is your heritage?

I'm a demon boi from Poland tho that's not a thing to be proud of, i mean, look at the economy. awful.

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

sleeping, trying to sleep.

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Pinkton. or Satan.

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

this is such an odd combination of words i had to look it up. yea.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

a friend who won't laugh at me when i ask them to order smth for me because I'm too anxious to.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

excuse me? i am saving the doggo wtf. f u boss, I'm gonna sell my tragic story to the news.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) i tell my parents. b) live the hell out of them uwu c) nope uwu.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

history maker - dean fujioka :]

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

3332

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

communication, trust, some more communication.

77: How can I win your heart?

let's not pretend to be something else to please each other, and bring some bitter chocolate.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

maybe. it could. i don't have a say in it since my sanity is held by tape.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

eat the pizza. stop caring about others not liking me/parts of me. just living for myself uwu.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

uh i dunno how the american sizes work and i don't wanna look it up so, 39, 40 fits too.

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

demon boi

82: What is your favourite word?

socks.

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

the bloody organ that sits in your chest and pumps blood into your body so you don't die.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

uhm im not sure if that counts as a saying, but fake it till you make it

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

blinding lights - the weeknd

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

oh a normal question people use for ice breaking, sea blue and pastel variations of it.

87: What is your current desktop picture?

like my wallpaper? or the actual picture that sits on my desk? or how my desk looks like atm? it's ugly, a lot of papers and pens and schoolbooks.

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

donald trump. or the next asshole who'll try to take the rights of the lgbt and poc away

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

this. this is the question.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

yo there's a pizza somewhere in the refrigerator, want me to heat it up? we can have a sleep over and talk about our feelings :3

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

telekinesis! or shapeshifting! i could do such fun things with telekinesis ^^ yeah I'd totally eat some radioactive veggies

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

that time my "friends" got me into shoplifting, half-hour is more than enough to punch some sense into my brain and develop good music taste

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

can i save this one? i don't think i have an experience horrible enough to be erased haha

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

sleep as in.. uh no thank u. but I'm down for a sleep over with sam smith ^^

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

just me? what about my pets? my fam? it's lowkey illegal for me to go just anywhere without them owO

uhhmm, greece. imma become part of the greek pantheon out of pure spite. and maybe toronto canada.

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

not any that i know of o.o

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

i think i may have but i honestly don't remember

98: Ever been on a plane?

nope, i dunno if i like planes, but I'd probably sleep if i were on one.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

yeet.

[flying-elliska]

i didnt rly get time to tell you this after reading chapter 8 last week but ohmygod ellie. you manage to outdo yourself every fucking time im always so blown away by your talent

god i dont even think i can reread it because seeing love portrayed the way you just did makes me cry so bad lmao (the same way i cant reread lucas' pov from diamants with all the sacrifices he made for eli)

it's always so beautiful seeing them nourish each other's souls with the love and warmth they share, and how they treat each other's feelings so delicately (lucas still not admitting to eliott about how his taste buds absolutely dont agree with eliott's and instead seeking out cuisines that'll cater to eli's tastes 🥺 also you have the best date ideas ahhh your mind)

the poetry absolutely broke me tho i teared up so bad sksks youre sickeningly romantic and it hURTS 😭😭 that scene is def in my top 5 romance literatures fr

goddd i love how all versions of Elu in your fics have different love languages and their love is still idk insurmountable(?) like they'll gladly give up everything for each other and still have so much love to give (sorry im a mESS just thinking about it)

also that cliffhanger was so satisfying thank you so much for not letting us experience their heartbreak over separating im so so glad he had the epiphany of this possibility before it was too late ahhhh IM SO HAPPY THEYRE OKAY. yk me being me and generally expecting bad outcomes to get through life, I thought eliott would be snatched away and they'd lose a few years and be reunited later somehow but ofc the pain of loss cant be undone (cause when does life ever work in your favor lol) but im so fucking glad you didn't let that happen omg

sksjsj sorry for this rambling i just wanted you to know what an absolute blessing you are to everyone who gets to read your work (honestly i even recommended this to my friend and would gladly do so to anyone cause i feel bad for whoever hasn't gotten to experience your writing it really is an indulgence 😭 and how you manage to churn out such incredible work in just dAYS?!? is beyond me fr)

also i cant help but envy ppl who have you in their lives cause like omggg this lovely and brilliant person exists amongst you !!! no but rly, this isnt just about your ideas or eloquence, i really love your tumblr (and it feels like a glimpse into your personality) and how well-rounded it is in terms of politics, activism, aesthetic, humour, lol i could go on and on.

thank you so so much for all the efforts you put into your beautiful work and posting your chaps in time (i dont get how you could think we wouldn't follow this fic past winter cause it's literally impossible to abandon your fics in between)

i hope you're doing well and hope you always remember that you're very well-loved by all of us ❤️❤️❤️

🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ok im just gonna leave sksjd

what a sweet ask anon ^^ haha it also embarassed me a little, but in a good way ^^

the thing about the love languages is very true. i love that they’re so attentive to each other in canon, that being honest with each other is not always easy but even though they struggle, they keep trying to pay attention and to open up. I think this is so important because in romantic stories there is often the first rush of attraction, the crush, where you get an intuition of who this person is and why they would fit well with you, but if you never go beyond that, it feels like a very shallow story.

I love that with Elu there is this attraction at first sight that feels very romantic and ‘meant to be’ but the story doesn’t equate that with them immediately being completely easy or familiar with each other, they’re still strangers that have to get to know each other. and i think that love language develops at that moment, to bridge the gap between this butterflies-in-the-belly feeling of being irresistibly drawn to a stranger ; and falling in love with a person because you’re discovering who they really are - but it’s very scary, because you have to take the risk of being vulnerable and rejected and messing up. it’s like celine sciamma said, about lovers feeling like they’re inventing a new language every time. if there is not an element of that - something made of inner jokes, of unique little moments, of tentative attentions and attempts at connection, of doubt and taking risks, of learning something entirely new and specific, of making something new together - the romance generally bores me very deeply (i hate insta love for this reason, honestly.)

anyway, yes ^^ with knight AU I had thought about either making it like the movie where only Eliott goes back but like...it’s at the core of Lucas’ character that he goes after Eliott to a dark and scary place to let him know he’s not alone so that just needed to happen ^^

thank you for recommending my writing to your friend, that’s so sweet <3 haha and for your compliments, i think i’m absolutely delightful to be around at times but also frequently grumpy and cantankerous and a lil pretentious so you know ^^ it’s easy to present an idealized version of yourself on the internet. But! it’s still lovely to know that what you put out there vibes with another person so much, you know ?

anyway, big love to you, i hope you are having a lovely day and are doing ok ! <3

[letsallsleepoverwork]

Mei’s Tony Stark (WinterIron) fic recs

I needed a whole other list of my favorite pairing, Bucky Barnes and Tony Stark... oops?

For @podonthesuit to celebrate Anthony Edwards Stark’s birthday month (and mine!) The fics are from shortest to longest.

Under 10K

flirting (with danger) by Potrix

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Canon Divergence - MCU Post-CAWS

Tony stares at the man shackled to the wall for a long, unblinking moment. “You’re supposed to be dead.”

The man raises an unimpressed eyebrow back at him. “Right back at ya, pal.”

Mei’s Notes: a brilliant short and sweet (and SASSY) winteriron fic that warms my heart. I read this when i need a quick pick me up <3 

When is a bed not a bed? (When you’re not in it) by RiotFalling

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Ambiguous Marvel Canon

There’s a tiny safe house, with one tiny window and one tiny couch. And one tiny little bed.

Mei’s Notes: THIS is hilarious. riot write a beautiful scene of two absolute dorks trying to out-matyr each other. such lovely softness and, like anyone who knows me knows, i love the soft. i laughed so hard reading this fic that i instantly fell in love.

Open Hearts, Open Doors by mistrstank (dreamingdarkly), TheKitteh

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Non-powered AU

In which Tony and Bucky have a very special day, DUM-E is a regular disaster and Tony's friends are a bunch of trolls.

Mei’s Notes: So this is the third story in this series, HUGE REC FOR THE FIRST TWO, but this one is my favorite of the series. There is an immense amount of softness. A marriage between two beautiful souls and honestly I cried with happiness. I was full of emotions, there is nothing more beautiful than the love these two share. To call this fluff is an massive understatement because words cannot properly capture how gorgeous this fic is. 

The Prince's Bride by MarvelousMenagerie (HiddenOne)

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Princess Bride AU

After Tony loses the love of his life to pirates on the high sea, not much matters to him. He agrees to wed Prince Justin Hammer to gain access to vibranium and shut himself away in his workshop until the end of time, but a group of ruffians kidnap Tony to take him to Hydra. Tony's rescue takes on an unlikely form - the Dread Pirate Rogers, who killed the love of his life five years ago.

Mei’s Notes: Princess Bride is just one of those movies that stays with you for your life. There’s so much to unpack and the comic genius of balance between crack and plot makes it a heart warming and heart moving movie for the ages (i also loved the book but THE MOVIE IS MY CHILDHOOD LOVE). This is a wonderful rendition of Princess Bride and the end *chef’s kiss* gold.

11K to 15K

Speed Dating (Isn't Supposed to Happen in Cars) by orbingarrow

Rating: General

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Non-powered AU

Tony's temporarily broke due to a scandal at Stark Industries, and with no one willing to hire him, he's got to get creative in how to get by. When he reads about a solar-powered car race that pays out in the millions, he knows he can win it. He just needs a car, all the parts, a racing team, a sponsor, a driver, and like a gajillion other things he does not have.

What he does have is: one whole month, an Air Force pilot, an heiress, two enthusiastic teenagers, a discredited science teacher, three ex-cons, a high-tech robot disguised as a Roomba, and a wicked crush on the guy from YouTube.

Seriously, how can he lose?

Mei’s Note: Arrow is a QUEEN at winteriron fic. She has a brilliant way of balancing snark, story, and softness. EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER has their own tone/voice in the story that I hear in my head and it just makes reading her work INCREDIBLY satisfying. She has so many great works, but with the complexity of balancing all these different characters and weave a story around them, this one is my favorite. Or maybe this one was just the one that just happen to snag my heart... :) 

Coffee, Curses, Kisses by wakandan_wardog

Rating: General

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Ambiguous Marvel Canon

Tony Stark drags himself out of his workshop on a regular Thursday morning. Well, mostly a regular morning. Except for Clint Barton lying on the breakfast bar in themed underwear. The theme is new, the rest is depressingly familiar. Ok, so maybe the rose petals are new too. (What the hell, Clint?) It's enough to make a billionaire grateful for the Avengers Alarm. Wait a minute, magic too? Fuck, this is just not Tony's day. (Until it really, really is.)

Mei’s Notes: Oh man do i love Toni. My whole heart belongs to her and her writing is some of the beST. I cannot recommend her writing enough, please please PLEASE do yourself a favor and read one (all) of her stories. This one is a masterful demonstration of wit and flirting which if you know Toni, you know she’s a master of both. My heart is warm with love for this one.

The Stars Go Red by orbingarrow

Rating: General

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Ambiguous Marvel Canon

Iron Man is not exactly a super-villain, he's just doing his best to save the world, and his methods are questionable, okay? Doing what's right isn't always easy. Tony's come to grips with that.

Mei’s Notes: Im kinda a liar cause honestly I couldn’t really choose and I did a coin flip but since I’m doing a whole different fic rec for winteriron here’s the other Arrow fic. Anyways, this fic has identity porn, it has purposeful deflection of villian!Tony who really isn’t a villian. Both Tony and Bucky are badass. Truthfully this fic is a mix of all my favorite troupes and you will have a blast reading it i promise!

30K to 41K

Compliments by Desolate_Smog

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Bucky Barnes & Tony Stark

Non-powered AU

Tony Stark didn't realize that going out to get coffee while sleep deprived and covered in grease could lead to friendships. He's quite impressed with himself.

Mei’s Notes: Oh man this one was a game changer for me. I think this was one of the first asexual fics I read and the way it’s done is lovely. I like how everything is laid out and just, a part of life. the whole story felt 100% real and the relationships the develop between all the characters feels organic. Still one of my all time favorite fic.

and amidst the ruins, there was you by TheKitteh

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Canon Divergence - MCU Post CACW & Dystopia AU

With everything resolved - post the Berlin conflict, Siberia and the rogue Avengers' return - Tony relishes in the clarity of what the team is now. He can finally see the well-defined lines, he can rely on solid rules and the chain of command. He's settled into his life like never before. That is, until one day, an unhinged sorcerer with no grasp on his magic shatters that new-found balance.As a result, half of Tony's soul is now gone, but he's willing to do anything to get it back.

Mei’s Notes: I died. repeatably. Kitteh is a goddness of soft winteriron. If you look at the comments you can see me SCREAM about the soft. Of course, there’s some really sad subject matter, Tony and Bucky get sent (while theyre warry of each other) to a world that the Avengers lost Battle of New York, and their deaths are... haunting. It really allows Kit to dive into the closeness, the need to someone else to hold. I would say this is a staple fic to read as a winteriron shipper. Of course tho please be weary of tags and your own needs/wants.

(Walk Walk) Fashion Baby by wakandan_wardog

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Non-powered AU

This is basically a Winter/Iron AU inspired by a buzzfeed article that went viral not long ago. The artical discussed this instagram in which a model is sort of being trolled by his sister and her toddler son recreating his photos.

Mei’s Notes: OH MAN. This one has adorable baby peter being an adorably perfect little bundle of sunshine. The ultimate melt your eyeballs and heart fic. It is a WIP but OH SO WORTH IT. I don’t really read WIPs can I like closure but this one has the cutest imagery of grown adults melting over a small child. Also Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent!!!!

71,620 Words

create / detonate by pprfaith, reena_jenkins  

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Canon Divergence MCU, Toni Stark AU

In a world where Natasha Stark still dreams of fire and blood, the Winter Soldier wakes ahead of schedule and nothing happens the way it was meant to. (People don’t have a purpose.)

Mei’s Notes: I love fem!Toni so much. I love diving into the difference with Toni’s life if she was born and raised with the expectations of “female”. It’s ironic because the softness I love so much about MCU Tony Stark, i love the a lot of opposites of Toni Stark in this fic. She’s more brash, more ruthless. She is still fiercely protective and kind but there’s an edge that I never felt from MCU Tony Stark. Both are good. I love both. As usual, please read the tags. There’s some rough stuff with this one. 

[indigocloudofnarcolepsy]

I got tagged by @tough-girl9 to list my top 7 comfort films which turned into a top 8

I'm more of a comfort song type, so that was a tough (girl) one

1.: Treasure Planet

I adore this movie! I loved it when I was smaller and I love it now. The only reason I didn't watch it to death was the fact that I lost the DVD. It's gorgeous and although the main premise is space pirates thanks to the focus on the characters it feels grounded and easier to relate to or to feel simpathy towards them. Besides Jim Hawkins being a childhood crush I could always relate to him. The feeling of being lost, aimless and the words

"- I can't watch you throw away your future like that!

- What future?"

always spoke to me. It's not an edge and teen angst fest tho, John Silver and his speech is both in character and always chokes me up and gives me hope that there are pathes that could lead to the future I want and that I wasn't abled to see.

It's the perfect movie for those who feel lost or confused and want to sail to far away planets from their current situation, those who want to be understood and given hope to.

(I could gush about the art and animation and characters for hours, but this is not the time)

Amazing background music and the songs fit well with the steampunk-ish style of the movie

2.: Ratatouille

A family classic. We even have the ps2 game and it's one of those rarities which my family could watch anytime. Besides being beautiful and having a 10/10 aesthetic (and a huge dose of food p0®π) it's a grounded movie.

The premise is as feaver dream-y and goofy as it gets. A rat learns english (or french? The movie takes place in Paris but it's either confusing or I'm just a dum dum) and thanks to an imaginary friend version of his chef idol ends up in his restaurant and makes a deal with the garbage boy of whom the chef thinks can cook and reluctantly agrees give him another chance to make the soup that was actually made by (fixed by) the rat aka Remy. So the boy Linguini and Remy has to team up where it seems like Linguini is making the soup but he is actually in Remy's control.

But the movie is actually about being an artist and coming from an unexpected place and being surrounded by people who don't support you or believe in you even if they were just trying to protect you or think that it's the best for you.

Fellow artists could definetly appreciate the movie. Whether you croche, draw, animate, sculpt, dance, act or do any kind of art I would absolutely recommend.

Le Festin is great and is on loop during dinner

Warning: get food ready because you WILL get hungry. Even if it's just bread this movie will make it taste like garlic bread just you wait

3.: Strange Magic

It's one of the controversial ones. Not everyone likes it and a lot hate it but that's okay.

It's one of those films where either you praise it to death or wonder which deeper layer of hell did it crawled out of. There is no in between. I'm one from the first category. Even my IT teacher called it a classic and I roped most of my friend group into the SM cult.

It has a certain tumblr aesthetic and feels like a fanficrion the best way possible. One of those where altho something unsuspected happens it's written well, the characters are in character it's finished and the grammar is proper as well.

It's a jukebox musical which is one of my fauvorite kind of musical, the covers are amazing and damn they can change up the originals songs aesthetic to it's opposite so damn well (Trouble - Elvis Presley)

It centers around love and I ain't no shipper nor romantic but even I was gushing over the main couple which is spoiler alert so that's all you get

I absolutely adore how the characters express themselves with their wings and body! I'm all about feelings and expressions!

So try it out and even if you don't like it you're allowed to stop. And if you like it: welcome to the fandom in this house we respect Marianne, the Bog King is a snack and must protect Dawn at all cost!

(this is a pick me up movie for me the other two more of a shoulder to cry on)

Speaking of crying

4.: The Little Prince

Not gonna lie I was extremely suspicious of this movie. I immediately categorised it as a cheap cash grab which only use sonething known and beloved because it's known and beloved so people will buy.

I expected the Emoji Movie, I got the LEGO Movie.

This movie. Hoo boy, this movie. You know, it's nothing, I only cried 4 times after all!

It's so respectful towards the material it's given. So heartfelt and creative and artistic! It's the Little Prince sequel that fits well in modern times.

In this film the Little Prince is a story that an old man tells his new young girl of a neighbour. Both of them needed a friend and it's one of those unexpected duos where the girl is forced to be mature way too early and the man is way too childish so they balance each other out and the man gives the girl (I can't remember their names god damn it) the breath of fresh air she needed.

This movie is so damn cute! I mentioned a shoulder to cry on movies and pick me up movies, this one is both! It's a bittersweet dream!

You are going to cry. So get ready.

5.: Hunchback of Notre Dame

Oh man oh God oh man oh God oh man

I'm obsessed with this movie (and musical)

It's dark and mature and definetly a-shoulder-to-cry-on movie. I love and relate to Quasimodo. Altho I'm not deformed I was always the weird girl everyone picked on and hated and I still can't understand why. I think I'm a perfectly normal person but when my mom calls me a freak/eccentric behind my back and my aunt gives me a gift with the words "since you looked nothing like the other girls on your prom..." I... I'm just more confused honestly. I'm always so damn tired and basically a hermit so thanks to that Out There hit way too close to home.

Esmeralda is a 10/10 role modell. She is a beautiful soul inside and outside. And she's romani. Which is the most hated minority in my country.

The movie deals with lust, abusive and manipulative parents, racism, religion, "ugly"ness, lonelyness. These might sound repelling but to see something similar happen to you/a character looking/being/sounding like you is worth more than life, honestly. Unless you can live through this kinship with a character, you have no idea how needed this is.

(I cried so hard watching The Grinch (2018) since I used to have Panic disorder and I'm an anxious person to see him being scared the way I do and to fiddle with his fingers and think like I do was the most comforting thing I felt in my life)

This movie is so damn gorgeous. I know I said that to almost every movie in this list but this is a biblical epic gorgeous. And of course, Hellfire is THE best Diney villain song FIGHT ME I'M RIGHT

The musical is even darker and more serious but damn it's worth a watch. It's on youtube.

6. Brother Bear

This movie is *drumroll* gorgeous. Each movie on this list is gorgeous in different ways. This is nature-gorgeous.

Pick me up movie, definetly. It's mostly adorable but they tap into some meaningful things and there are tragedies happening, my dude!

Like Hunchback of Notre Dame the main subject is "who is the monster and who is the man?". This movie shows some perspective, I tell you!

7.: Coco

I know the hungarian translation by heart

It's very family oriented, so if you don't have any or have a bad realtionship with it, this movie will give you a heartache

This movie takes place in Mexico and explores parts of mexican culture.

I adore and am interested in different cultures, folklore, tradition and religion so I was head over heels really quick with this movie!

Gorgeous imagery and music. Heartfelt, that last Remember Me WILL get you

8.: The Croods

Y'ALL

I know, it looks like a movie that made only for kids. But dude! It's about family, change and how people deal with it. It takes place in an alternative world, where animals we know are mixed together (MOUSELEFANT!! CROCO DOGGO!!) the most adorable way possible and it takes place in prehistoric times.

Oh god, this movie is full of feelings and gorgeous imagery! Pick me up, definetly! Of course, it's full of jokes but they are so witty to me!

Sorry, I got impatient by the end of it

I would tag people if I would know anyone well in this site. The 2 people I want to tag: is already tagged me and the other one is probably too busy

[reddogcollar]

Then speak friend!!

trust me its impossible to shut me up about anything ever and none of the things I'm about to say will connect

I have unfortunately watched multiple episodes of the spinoff show emperor's new school which shows kuzco going to high school and it felt like like a slow slow decent into madness I recommend it entirely because I want someone else to have this mark on their soul

far more fortunately I am now watching the owl house finally and I am on but the second episode and I think I am losing my shit? eda sounds exactly as I assume she would. a cat man just disintegrated in front of my very eyes

since multiverses are just a thing its so very possible that instead of landing in hell for 30 years ford could up on mewni or smthng from star vs the forces of evil and get his hands on dimensional scissors and fall out of a hole in the fabric of everything onto his basement floor next to Stan like "hey" "what the absolute fuck"

words like supernatural and extraordinary are the worst kinds bc they describe things that are the exact opposite of their structures (super natural implies extra normal stuff but describes things that don't occur in nature and ya know) and I hate them so so much

I am still obsessed with how shifty is just like deadass stanfords fucking son what in the name

one or all of the pines's should have some kind of speech impediment specifically cuz I struggle with talking and project often ❤

invasion of the body snatchers is a neat movie I watched it like in October or something

I am now on the third episode of toh and this kid freaking out over stepping on a flower is like same. this other kid having an abomination in a pot is also like same.

I often think about ghost aus and should finish writing (or just rewrite cuz it sucks now qkxnwksnws) the one that I have

au where stan never breaks the project but they drift a part anyway and its just really very bitter and sad and stuff

similarly au where things just like work out that night and the point of it all is stanford ends up in gravity falls still and often calls up stan at unreasonable hours to infodump about the weird shit. this concept is important to me for no real reason I just like the thought of ford getting to be happy about things

luz rising out of a pot saying "I'm an abomination" is like same

mlp characters seem to be animated with forward facing eyes? which is concerning. you could say they've evolved past the need for field of view over depth perception due to being like sophisticated and stuff but their world is also full of way dangerous monsters that maybe they as prey animals might want of field of view for. especially pegasai. no bird or horse has front facing eyes.

I am incompetent. that thought was going somewhere about like idk repeatability to some characters due to basing self worth on accomplishment and humor alone but it just stopped there.

I peel skin off my hands and lips all the time and idk why really it hurts a lot but also I cannot stop

bag tho by danny gonzalez with pacifica. consider it.

alligator skin boots and/or blue eyes like the devils water by mcafferty with stan. consider it. 

in atots stan is shown to sit upside down and no straight person has ever sat like that I would know bc I sit like that and I am not straight

I do not know who rick sanchez is and I am not able to find out because I find it hard to consume new media

I am incapable of deciding whether I want to be hugged or if anyone touches me ill die and its an issue

I have so many overdue lessons but when I try to do them my brain shuts off completely and I just end up clicking through the tests and I am a straight f student and its stressful as hell 

its 4 am I shouldn't be awake

one time before we got together my ex directly told me, word for word, "I want to kiss you on the lips" and somehow I took that as platonic until she told me she had a crush on me and I think about that a lot

the owl house is just good. doesn't matter that all the twists have been spoiled for me I don't care its good

that's like all the nonsense I can pull out of my brain I am sorry and good bye

I swear and apologize too much

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

TAG GAME!

I was tagged by @lotsoffandomimagines, @cactiem, @myriadimagines and @connerkennt!!! THANK U SO MUCH GUYS 💖💖💖💖💖💖

rules: answer ten 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people

Ace’s questions:

What’s your favourite thing about yourself? Why? That my friends like me :D

Do you prefer tea, coffee, or hot chocolate? Tea all day every day bahbahy

Where do you live? If you could live anywhere else where would it be? I’m actually happy where I am in Oz. I’m just waiting to get a job + get money to re-do the little place attached to the house so I can live there. 

What are your top 5 celebrity crushes? I honestly... don’t think I have any celebrity crushes lmao

If you won a million dollars what would you do with it? Save it. Get more money. Make sure me, my friends and family are comfortable. Give the rest of it away to everybody who needs a bit of help. Randomly dump a thousand dollars into somebody’s Gofundme. Hire assassins to murder people I don’t like. The normal type of thing :D

What’s your favourite type of snack food? D... do carrots count?? If not chili+lime potato chips!! :D

If you could live in any fictional universe which one would it be? Probably Middle Earth or Marvel.

Do you have three book recommendations? P L E A S E READ THE MURDERBOT DIARIES Y”ALL I AM ACTUALLY BEGGING I NEED SOMEBODY I CAN TALK TO ABOUT IT. YOU WON’T REGRET IT. Murderbot is my all-time favourite character 11/10 PLEASE. READ IT. PLEASE. Also Six of Crows (and Crooked Kingdom, its sequel), and Bird by Crystal Chan. also MURDERBOT.

Put your playlist on shuffle and tell us the first five songs that play I Miss You by Adele, Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys, Electric Feel by MGMT

If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be and why? My brain. No more anxiety and depression and weird attention lapses. Get rid of that shit.

Em’s questions:

Do you have any pets? If so what do you have? If not would you like any? I do!! Two chickens, two ducks, and three dogs!! They are all my Babies and I Love Them More Than Life Itself even tho the ducks hate my guts lmao

What’s your go to song to listen to that makes you happy? Mr Blue Sky, but honestly like 99% of my music is ridiculously happy because I mostly cannot handle sad music

Have you travelled anywhere? If not where’d you like to go? I’ve been to America when I was like, 10, and my and my family have traveled through a bit of Australia. I’d really like to see all my friends around the globe :’)

If you could speak any languages, what three would you choose (on top of the ones you can speak now)? Spanish, Russian, and Ancient Greek lmao

If you could have a superpower what would you choose and why? Shape shifting. I would say so I can get my ideal body and yeah that’s part of it but the other part is I really wanna be able to turn into a pigeon and surprise @alex--blue :D

If you could only save three things what would you save (in this scenario your family/friends/pets are already out)? A teeny tiny box I got from my dad where I keep small special things, a few of my stuffed animals bc they’re the only things I have left from my childhood, and a box of letters because I know they’re important to my parents

What’s your favourite decade and why? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What’s your favourite season and why? Autumn. Used to be winter, but it hurts my lungs too much. Autumn’s just. cozy, y’know??

Do you prefer going to the cinema or watching films at home? At home normally, BUT I see going to the cinema as more of a social thing so if I can go with somebody I like than cinema!!

What’s your favourite meal? Pizza :D

Sam’s questions:

What’s something you’re looking forward to? Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, getting my own place will be nice??

If you could have any animal in the world as a talking companion (like in His Dark Materials), what animal would you choose? Hen :D (PLEASE don’t remind me of how much I love HDM!!!!!)

What was the last movie you cried to? John Wick. You know exactly why.

What’s a song you’ve had on repeat lately? Blinding Lights by the Weeknds, I vibe SO HARD to this song it’s unreal XD <3

If you could bring one fictional character that’s been killed off back to life, who would it be? Manchee from The Knife of Never Letting Go. If you’ve read the book, you know what I mean. I’m still not recovered from that and I never will be. also I know there’s a ton but I can’t think of on the spot aAA

Can you play any instruments? If not, what instruments have you always wanted to play? ALL OF THEM

If you could give yourself another name, what name would you choose? HA

What’s a skill you wish you could instantly master Speaking a language fluently or learning a musical instrument!! I am Impatient!!!! :D

What would you rather explore, the deep sea or outer space? NEITHER THANK YOU V MUCH THEY’RE BOTH MY WORST NIGHTMARES

Despite 2020 being a shitshow so far, what’s one good thing that’s happened to you this year? I got to finish the end of the Murderbot Diaries and I am now content XD

Enna’s questions:

What is your biggest irrational fear and why? Falling backward from a high place. Not heights, but specifically falling backward. I climb trees a lot but I can never sit down on a branch because I feel too unsteady and it can paralyze me so I’m stuck in the tree till I can calm tf down lmao

Do you like to dance? Yes, don’t mean I’m good at it tho XD

Who is one person who can always make you laugh? (Friend, family, comedian, etc.) A few of my favourite YouTubers (like RTgame and Doug Doug ALWAYS GET ME X’D)

Who is your favorite disney sidekick and why? Mushu because... Mushu XD

What’s one thing that you do/like that people wouldn’t expect? UhhhHHh I have no idea what conception people have of me so I don’t really know

Favorite move genre? Comedy, I think

What was your favorite animal as a kid? Spider!! Same as now p much :D

Do you like to bake/cook? If so, what’s your favorite recipe? I do!! And listen. Listen. listen listen listen. I make a mean apple crumble.

Where do you go when you need to de-stress/relax? My room or the backyard to play with the babies :’)

Do you look up to anyone? If so, who and why? Nah, I’ve found that to be a recipe for disaster.

My questions:

What is the song you Vibe With the most?

If you could be any mythical/supernatural creature, what would you be?

What is your biggest pet peeve?

Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are they? If not, would you like to get some and what would you like to get?

What time do you usually go to sleep?

If you could summon any one item in the world to you what would it be?

What food do you you hate with your entire soul?

Are you more of a sentimental/nostalgic person or do you prefer to look forward instead?

Describe yourself in 3 words

Are you one of the superhuman people who can keep a consistent diary?

I tag @biscottibitch, @lielith, @tiannawashere, @philthepegacorn, @supervalcsi, @fairylightsandthings and anybody else who would like to do this!! :D

[wildfangz]

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want. 

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’.  i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust. 

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me 

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway 

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway! 

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

21

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

[cindyfelicia]

Hi, I hope you’re doing well!! I was just wondering if you read comics? If so could you recommend some/ how to start getting into them? I want to start reading them, but it’s so stressful trying to figure out where to start. Also I love you blog!

Hi there! you’re all manners of sweet and kind thank u my advice abt approaching comics is going for solo runs first, this is how I, personally, did it and it’s way easier than jumping in on team books, or worse events bc they tend to be messier and need more bg info and pre-existing knowledge than a comic that focus on just the one character; I also feel it’s good to start with current or at least recent comics, you can always read the old stuff when you’re better acquainted with how comics work and which characters, artists and writers you like (or can tolerate).

actual recs under the cut because this got so long

i was gonna do a whole list of mcu characters’ solos because most people entry point to comics rn is superhero movies, and hmu if you want that, but instead I think I’m gonna rec you some good comics that are either separated enough from main marvel continuity as to be intelligible without extensive info gathering, or I just think they’re great and worth a bit of confusion (part of starting out reading comics is not knowing fully wth is going on sometimes, but stiking with it for some good art or for characters you love -I’m not gonna go so far as to say for good writing bc that’s just not realistic):

if you like yourself some spider-people:- silk (2015) and vol 2 (2016) are my absolute favorites- I’m not very much into spiderman but I read renew your vows  and it’s lovely,  it’s just not a main universe comic it’s an au where things are as, imo, they should be with ye old web slinger, and it’s good for getting your feet wet in the huge pool of spider-man comics;- I love miss jessica drew (spider-woman) but her solo is……. questionable if someone has a good jess drew intro rec pls tell me so I can pass it on, - miles morales has been written badly in more ways than one but I love him so I suffer, I can direct you without scruples only to his novel tho, absolutely lovely and not written by brian michaelbendis lmao- anya corazon is a really good character that marvel loves to forget it has, let’s not make the same mistake;- black widow 2014 and 2016 and bw: the name of the rose are all good comics (I know technically nat isn’t a spider person but like nothing about spider-woman’s powers screams ‘spider’ either so..

for wakanda I’d say good recent start-ups would be: - black panther (2016), - black panther: world of wakanda (w/ a lesbian couple as protag), - and rise of the black panther (ongoing)

some non x-men team books that are easier to approach as a beginner imho:-young avengers vol 2 (vol 1 has its moments if you want to start from the beginning with them but a lot of it involves the civil war arc and stuff.. also some characters die, the art is less good and I want to protect people from 17’s yo cassie lang’s nipples poking through her shirt.. I wish someone had protected me tbh) -I want to rec some Runaways but besides the current run (which is alright) there’s a lot to be said against the writing in most of the rest of them maybe vol 1? to have the origins pinned down-I feel like after a small read through of what exactly the hell was going on with secret wars you could approach A-Force vol 1 and the first half of vol 2 (the second half ties in with civil war II and I’m not touching that mess) and that and avenger world and sometimes secret avengers to me are good avengers books-she hulk 2014 and totally awesome hulk are my greens of choice but if you want an intro to bruce banner idont actually know, sorry-for the asgardians: thor 2014 and it’s follow up mighty thor, thor: god of thunder, angela: asgard’s assassin and its sequel angela: queen of hel, and loki: agent of asgard are my pick of this crop-we also have Fun here at marvel comics on occasion and both patsy walker aka hellcat and squirrel girl are nice in their own way although the latter isn’t really my thing

some follow up on the young avengers:- hawkeye (2013) an absolute fan favorite, good to discover that actually clint barton was a good character it’s that the avengers movies are just bad and hate people with disabilities- a couple of follow-ups to that (x) (x) and the kate bishop solo all pretty nice- america chavez’s solo (I’m just here to suggest gay comics, that’s almost all I read really)

I want to rec Champions to people but frankly it’s just a long series of event interruptions and bullshit interspersed with a couple of nice moments so far, so I’m gonna rec you some kids that are in the champions and have solos I haven’t already mentioned:- kamala khan’s book is probably my favorite ongoing series at marvel right now about any non-mutant char, I cannot say enough good about it,- nova is nice,- miles morales (spider-man) and amadeuscho (totally awesome hulk) are also there but I’ve already mentioned themalso in this house we love and respect elektranatchiosand any other attitude just isn’t tolerated.

on to the x-men, gotta love those guys, you just gotta:- like I said I prefer to tell people to start from recent comics but with the xmen that’s so difficult? it’s been 10+ bad years for them because of the movie rights situation and just marvel being shit in general, so my one recent team book to approach the x-men is prob x-men ‘92? because its based off of the xm animated series so you don’t have to straightaway deal with some mutant plague, eugenics plots, and other catastrophic events, but you can still get to know more of the char we all love - I want to say generation x vol 2, it’s not a good starting point for anything really but I love it so so much I had to mention it even tho it was cancelled and I’m still angry as hell about it.

the solo situation is better. I’m gonna be able to breathe without tasting my own bile while I type this, hurray!-all new wolverine follows laura kinney as she takes up the mantle from logan-iceman, good solid comic abt coming out and ice puns, who doesn’t like bobby really-jean grey, yes she’s a teen girl in this, yes it’s weird and I hate de-aging characters but it’s nice to see her train with different mutants, struggling with the incoming phoenix force and her adult self’s shadow, not really great entry point to jean grey but id read it anyway-if you were into the 00’s xmen movies like me, or at least a normal person’s amount the phoenix recently returned and with her adult!jean grey, it was a good book for me and good if you want to later start reading the actual phoenix saga (which is a lot of material so starting small with this might help) -I love wandamaximoff and despite what they’ve done to the maximoffs in order to bring them into the mcu (was it worth it for that result btw? really?) her recent book was good and I genuinely loved it -storm’s solo is so good, you’re gonna fall in love with an het ship and you’re not gonna regret it either-rogue and gambit, is ongoing and it’s good to get a little acquainted with these characters but mostly it’s about explorign their relationship

I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of good x-men content atm but I can’t stop thinking I need to mention that there are ongoing series you could pick up its just.. I hate them.. some started out promising (xmen gold, astonishing xmen), but they’ve not developed in good directions imo, but I still feel they should be mentioned, there’s also a weapon x comic if you want to go for a more bloody kind of book and xmen blue if you like time displaced teens or something? god its bad

jeez this is so so long and guess what? I haven’t even finished yet.. there’s some excellent indie comics out there and with those you really don’t need to worry abt knowing any 30 years old lore or anything you pick them up and they explain themselves like any other normal media out there, I know, be still my heart:

- lumberjanes is my absolute favorite, a little corny, but so much fun and cuteness and if I could go back in time I’d give it to my little bi self so she’d know she’s not alone and anything I feel that ways about has a special place i my heart js

- Motor crush, there really isn’t any other comic book with a black lesbian as protagonist out there that I can think of, good if you’re into motorcycles but if like in my case that threatens to put you to sleep, it also has a sci-fi streak and solid character work, you won’t regret giving it a try

- moonstruck, cute non-white gay werewolves and other mythological creatures are there, I feel this cathers to me specifically every time I open it?? bless

- Hi-Fi fight club or heavy vinyl (they changed the title) if you want a period piece that’s fun and cute and gay (I meant it about me reading only gay comics as you can tell)

- saga, for a space, well ya know.. saga I feel that I can describe it as romeo and juliet in space with added racial commentary except they don’t kill themselves, I have to say not my favorite but you might stick with it for the characters, I sure do

- the wicked + the divine, I feel very much the same about this as I do about saga, only this is mythology based so like.. I sold my soul to it, but please do tread with care there’s a lot of deaths in it and so many of these dead people are gays and/or poc.. I’m none too pleased about it and I’d understand anyone not wanting to pick it up, I mean the deaths are basically in the premises of the books but that doesn’t change the end result..

lastly like I said dc is not my area of expertise but I’ve been following with pleasure both batwoman and green lanterns, and mr miracle was an amazing comic so I thought I’d mention them

[for-a-home-that-once-was]

I challenge you to do the even numbers! 😄

Challenge accepted :D

2: Do I have any nicknames?Yep, Miss nightmare is probably the only one, tho I know that there are few others but I can’t remember them now

4: Video game I play to chill, not to win?Yep, to chill and to distract myself

6: Aliens or ghosts?Ghosts

8: Favourite radio station?RadioBob. It’s an internet radio

10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great?Awesome/cool

12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better?Idk, it always depends, but I do ask about music/films/books

14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them?Nope

16: TV show I always recommend?Peaky blinders

18: Movie I watch when I’m feeling down?LoTR or The Hobbit

20: Favourite video games?Amnesia, Penumbra, Rollercoaster tycoon, Zoo tycoon, Life is strange

22: A good quality of mine?Always ready to help, to listen, to advise 

24: Cats or dogs?Both

26: Favourite season?Autumn/Winter

28: Something I miss?Concerts

30: Eye colour?Green/grey/blue mix

32: Someone I love?My grandma

34: Someone I always think about?Tobi aka my soul mate

36: My current obsession?Idk, I don’t think I have any obsession right now

38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to?Yep

40: What do I think about most?Tobi, my shitty life, memories, current life, future, music, books

42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?Behind it, always behind it

44: Last book I read?A collection of stories and novels of H.P. Lovecraft

46: Do I play any instruments?Nope

48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow?I don’t think I have top 5

50: How do I destress?Listen to music, tumblr, read a book, watch a film, sleep

52: When do I feel most at peace?When I’m in nature

54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off?Off

56: What is my song of the week?I wish by Battle beast

58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody?Omg, it was like 4 years ago I think

60: Pet peeve?When people say stuff like this “you lived through shit, well, I lived through wayy more shit than you” or “my mental health is way more fucked up then yours”. 

62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian?Nope

64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy?Yep

66: Something I worry about?EVERYTHING!

68: Who are my best friends?I only have one best friend, he’s cool guy

70: Can I sing?I wish I could

72: If I won the lottery, what would I do?It would depend on how much money I have won, but I’d definitely treat myself with some concert tickets and other stuff I do need

74: Favourite place on the planet?I haven’t travel the world so I can’t really say.

76: Do I have any pets?Nope

78: Early bird or night owl?Night owl all the way

80: Can I drive?Nope

82: Earphones or headphones?Headphones

84: Story behind one of my scars?I don’t really have any visible or big scars. But I don’t have few small scars on my right hand, it was from smashing glass door. I had a big fight with my mother and from all that anger I smashed the glass door of my room. Stupid I know 

86: Who is my hero?I don’t think I have a hero

88: What makes me really angry?My mother

90: Favourite sporty activity?Biking

92: What was my favourite subject at school?History, theater, languages

94: What was the last thing I bought?I cool and nice hoodie

96: Can I cook?Yep

98: 3 things I love?Nature, chocolate and sleep

100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends?I think I have more boy friends

102: Where was I born?In Kaunas, Lithuania

104: Where do I currently live?In Kaunas, still

106: Last time I cried?Two days ago

108: Favourite Youtuber?Jacksepticeye, Markiplier

110: Do I like selfies?Idk, I guess

112: My relationship with my parents?With dad everything’s perfect, with mother - hell

114: A place I have not been but wish to visit?Bavarian Alpes

116: Can I juggle?Nope

118: Do I like space?Yep

120: Am I much of a daredevil?A bit I guess

122: Can I curl my tongue?Yep

124: Do I like clowns?Nah, but i’m not scared of them either

126: My current project?I don’t have any projects going on rn

128: Do I admit when I wrong?Yep

130: Favourite piece of advice?Take no shit, but do no harm

132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district?I don’t know any of them but I’m not in their fandoms, so I don’t really wanna know

134: Am I very social?Yep

136: Do I keep a journal/diary?I only keep my travel journal

138: Do I believe in second chances?Nope

140: Do I believe people are capable of change?Only if they want to change

142: Am I ticklish?Not really

144: Have I ever been on a plane?Nope

146: Have I ever been overweight?Nope

148: Which fictional character do I wish was real?Kili from The Hobbit

150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far?To become a metalhead

152: Do I wear glasses or contacts?Nope, but I used to wear glasses when I was kid/teen

154: Do I want children?Nope

156: My most embarrassing memory?Idk, can’t really remember anything really embarrassing

158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter?Yep

160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe?Black

162: What do I hate most about myself?My face and the way I look

164: Do I like adventure?YES!!!

166: Favourite animal?Wolves, horses and big cats

168: Have I ever been on TV?Yep

170: One of my favourite quotes?“Beauty always comes with dark thoughts”

172: Do I trust easily?Nope

174: Best gift I’ve ever received?Tickets to Edguy concert in Berlin, right after my 21st birthday

176: Have I ever had a night terror?Nope

178: An experience that has made me stronger?Life

180: Do I like shopping?Not really

182: What does “family” mean to me?People who will support you no matter what. 

184: How do I want to be remembered?I want to be remember like someone who lived their life differently, like someone who was different than others, crazy sometimes, but helped people and made art and just had good time

186: What is my greatest failure?Choosing to study that bullshit I studied 

188: Love or money?Love

190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go?To Viking age 

192: What is “home” to me?A place where I feel safe and cozy, and at ease

194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be?“No great loss”

196: A movie that scared me as a child?Idk, my parents didn’t let my to watch horror films when I was a kid

198: Zombies or vampires?Neither tbh

200: Dragons or wizards?Dragons

202: How do I define love?A feeling, idk,this is wayy too deep for me today,sorry

204: Have I ever had my heart broken?Yep

206: Sweet or savoury?Sweet

208: Do I collect anything?Yep, books, CDs, tickets from museums/concerts

210: What is on my bucket list?Meet my idols and celeb crushes, meet my soul mate, travel around the world, meet my tumblr mutuals etc.

212: Was I named after anyone?Nope

214: What TV character am I most like?I have no idea

216: Favourite fictional character?I have wayyyyy too many of them, but my newest one is Thomas Shelby

Sorry, if some of my answers suck, but today my brain doesn’t really work, thanks!

[xbaepsae]

92 statements tag

Tagged by my lovely @xtaexhyungx <3

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. 

THE LAST: 1. drink: water, i think lol 2. phone call: my workplace lmao (i really hate talking on the phone) 3. text message: “happy j4 to you too” (it was america day yesterday rip) 4. song you listened to: come back home // bts 5. time you cried: idk i cry all the time because i’m emotional lol

HAVE YOU EVER: 6. dated someone twice: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hell no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. been cheated on: uh... i mean, not really but a guy did fuck me over and it was because of another girl 9. lost someone special: of course 10. been depressed: not medically diagnosed, but yes i have felt extremely depressed about twice in my life 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: i ain’t about that wasted life

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14. blue, black, and gray  IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yess @ all my gorgeous mutuals on tumblr 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: all the fucking time bro 18. found out someone was talking about you: yes, haters will be haters 19. met someone who changed you: i feel like everyone we meet changes us in some way, even if we don’t recognize the change 20. found out who your friends are: irl, i have like two people i hang out with and talk to regularly... so yes lol 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: lol no; i consider fb pretty private so only family and close friends

GENERAL: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i’m still friends with somepeople from middle school/high school, but since you have that option to “unfollow,” i unfollowed A LOT of people. i only keep up with my family and a handful of people i actually liked from high school 23. do you have any pets: no (i reallllyyyy want a cute little puppy tho) 24. do you want to change your name: i used to not like my name that much when i was growing up. gabrielle is three whole syllables and seemed very extra to me; but as i have gotten older, i actually like my name a lot now (even though most people i know call me gabby lol) 25. what did you do for your last birthday: my birthday’s are never too special tbh; i usually just do a dinner with my fam and then another with friends 26. what time did you wake up: i got up around 10 today, but laid in bed until almost noon lolololoool (god why am i like this?) 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: attempting to finish part three of heartbeat and watching youtube videos 28. name something you can’t wait for: cooler weather tbh (i’m tired of this heat, and i wanna wear sweaters and boots again) 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: last night before i went to bed 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i was more extroverted and “friendly;” i think i’m a pretty nice person, but i wish i could express that freely and not be an awkward bean or have people believe that i’m a bitch because of my rbf lol 31. what are you listening to right now: nothing; sounds can be distracting and i like silence 32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i actually have a friend named tom lol 33. something that is getting on your nerves: how rude everyone in bts is being lately; control yourselves pleaseeeeee 34. most visited website: probably youtube (i waste sooo much time watching the randomest videos) 38. hair color: dark brown/black, but it looks really light in the sun 39. long or short hair: it depends really; i’ve had both long and short hair and i loved them both! 40. do you have a crush on someone: honestly, it’s really hard for me to genuinely crush on someone 41. what do you like about yourself: hmm... maybe the fact that i’m not an open book; i’m a mystery that needs to be unraveled 42. piercings: only my basic single ear piercings (tho i really want to get more in the future - blame bts bc they have some amazingggg ear piercings) 43. blood type: i really have no idea, but i want to know so badly! my mom’s an O, but idk what my dad is so i can’t predict via punnet squares 44. nickname: well, gabby is a nickname lol but my friends call me gabbs and my fam calls my apple (idk why) 45. relationship status: single (and not looking) 46. zodiac: libra 47. pronouns: she/her 48. favorite tv show: i have loved scandal and htgawm (and any show on hgtv or tlc) for yearrsss; but some new faves would be riverdale and dear white people 49. tattoos: i want one in the future! but idk what i would get 50. right or left handed: right handed 51. surgery: i’ve had all my wisdom teeth removed lol 52. piercing: like do i like piercings? um yes. i’ve always wanted to make out with someone who had a lip ring LMAO 53. sport: i’m not sporty at all lol, but i really like reading sport!au’s and watching sport themed movies/shows. i think i just like all the drama behind it haha 55. vacation: yes; anywhere and everywhere 56. pair of trainers: like a pair of nike’s? or a personal trainer?? i mean, i would love to have a personal trainer because i need to hit the gym more

MORE GENERAL 57. eating: i love food 58. drinking: if i go to a restaurant, i usually order water or a coke; but i loveee iced coffee so much 59. i’m about to: finish writing lol 61. waiting for: creativity to surge through my veins 62. want: meet bts and just hug them and tell them that they’re loved and special and appreciated asdfghjjjjjjkl; 63. get married: one day 64. career: i want to be a travel writer, so i can do my two most favorite things: write and see the world

WHICH IS BETTER 65. hugs or kisses: hugs 66. lips or eyes: eyes are the windows to the soul 67. shorter or taller: i want to be shorter than my significant other (and so i can wear heels, duh) 68. older or younger: older bc my brother is two years younger than me and dating someone younger than me would be like his friends and ew 70. nice arms or nice stomach: ARMS BOI  71. sensitive or loud: hmm... depends 72. hook up or relationship: i am a hopeless romantic (and i think i’d suck at the whole casual sex thing because i become too emotionally invested) 73. troublemaker or hesitant: both of these are on two completely different spectrums, but i think a balance is better

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: no 75. drank hard liquor: i’ve had vodka before and it’s disgusting lol 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: omg yesss so many times! 77. turned someone down: yes and it can honestly get so awkward 78. sex on the first date: i feel like sex is a really intimate thing that i only want to share with someone who really cares about me 79. broken someone’s heart: i don’t think so 80. had your heart broken: um, i’ve been hurt before but having my heart broken romantically? no 81. been arrested: no 82. cried when someone died: yes 83. fallen for a friend: kind of and it ended h o r r i b l y (10/10 would not recommend)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: most of the time 85. miracles: i mean, i passed some classes that i believed i was going to fail... so yes lol 86. love at first sight: no, personally i don’t. like i mentioned earlier, i can’t develop crushes on people easily... so fall in love with them at first sight? no. i believe love takes time 87. santa claus: no, and it’s a shame we force children into believing he exists 88. kiss on the first date: it doesn’t hurt ;) 89. angels: yes

OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: p <3 91. eye color: basic brown 92. favorite movie: freedom writers, dead poet’s society, dead man walking (as you can see i love torturing myself with sad dramas)

Tagging: @boymeetsfiction, @blumiin, @namjoonsbby, @jiminieee95, @dearseok, @boymeetsfiction, @taecup, & @velvethoseok. 

[essentiallychaotic]

85 statements R U L E S : you must answer these eighty five statements and tag twenty people I was tagged by the always wonderful @acynicandanidealist​ ^-^ (also sorry if this has been tagged for a bit, my tumblr didn’t tell me so if I’m doing this weirdly late whoops :/ ) I would like to tag: @skittles-pixie​, @pacificjim​, @khanleesi​, @keepingkaya​, @astreana​, @elfiethewicked​, @bleustocking​, @cuemypulse​, @wingleader​, @lokidiabolus​, @scribbly-wibbly-stuff​, @stenchy-wench​, @universalhouseplant​, @shalanos​, @nancysinatras​, @dragonsdawn​, @hungry-angry-lyingdown​, @horaetio​, @inktaire​, @pntmrcys​, aanndd anyone else who wants to do it!

Also sorry if the formatting is wonky, I’m on mobile. Part 1: the last: drink: Water, I have this like quart mason jar with a drink lid, cause I’m one of those people I guess :P phone call: I talked to my Dad this afternoon text message: Uummm… I had to go check haha, it was Cece song you listened to: Probably something by David Bowie this morning (followed by me wandering around the house just singing his name, just repeated dramatic “Bowie!” My dogs loved it) Ooo unless movies count, then whatever is the credits song for the new Ghostbusters :D time you cried: I cried cutting up shallots tonight… other than that idk… I cried during Wonder Woman, seeing my childhood hero portrayed so perfectly was emotional Part 2: Ever: dated someone twice: Like gone on two dates? Yes. I think I’ve gone on two dates (technically three) with two different people. I don’t really date much tho, it takes so much time and college is a lot of work kissed someone and regretted it: Nah, I’ve learned something about how people are every time, hard to regret useful life lessons been cheated on: That involves a relationship so no lost someone special: No one that has passed away, but last fall I had to realise that a friendship had turned really toxic and was impacting my stress and health, which was really hard because she was very important to me, and losing that friendship has been a point of pain this year been depressed: Yes, I’ve just gotten to the point in the last two years where I am able to manage it and not let my depression or anxiety impact my life. I’m really lucky that I don’t have to take meds for it, mainly because I’m super forgetful and never remember to take any pills I’ve ever had gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes and I don’t recommend it. It’s very not fun Part 3: Favourite colours: Green, blue, brown, gold, and red Part 4: In the last year have you: made new friends: I have, and they are all wonderful people fallen out of love: Nope laughed until you cried: I think I have, but even if I haven’t actually cried I’ve gotten close, I’m blessed with wonderfully funny people and pets in my life ^-^ found out someone was talking about you: Yeah my professors, apparently it was nice things but it still freaks me out when they casually are just like “oh that reminds me, we were talking about you at the meeting the other day…” met someone who changed you: Maybe more of met people who affirmed my belief that people can be good and kind and caring, and that I should keep working to be present in the kind and caring parts of myself (cause boy did I used to be bitter and grumpy) found out who your friends are: I feel like this is that “when times get tough you’ll find who your REAL friends are” kinda thing… which I don’t really put a lot of stock in because I think awareness of who people are and where they are at is important in respecting them as individuals… I did lose a couple of friends in the whole big ending toxic friendship thing, but I kinda saw those coming and there’s no hard feelings kissed someone on your facebook list: Nope Part 5: General: how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: I have met them all in real life but one. He and his friends were drunk and at the same hostel as my friend when she was on the phone with me and he asked her if he could talk to her friend and it was hilarious and he added me on facebook do you have any pets: Two puppies do you want to change your name: Nah, my name means born of fire, and I kinda like that… plus it also is connected to my mom’s name in a weird, circuitous way and I like that too what did you do for your last birthday: I had class and work, and then planned on meeting up with friends for our usual pub-and-board-games night and they surprised me with cheesecake and those candles that relight themselves… it was a fun night :) what time did you wake up: 9am-ish what were you doing at midnight last night: Playing with my phone I think… reading something on Ao3 name something you can’t wait for: I start grad school in Belfast this fall, so I’m really excited and also crazy nervous about that when was the last time you saw your mom: A couple of hours ago when we were watching Ghostbusters (I love that movie, Melissa McCarthy is my hero) what are you listening to right now: Silence. Also my dog licking her paws. Everyone here is asleep. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, remember that one random friend on facebook? His name was Tom… there are probably other from college but I’m drawing a blank something that is getting on your nerves: Just… just so much of the social inequality and how badly our social system fails people who need support… and the fact that their voices aren’t respected and sought out when it comes to telling their stories, like what is that??? most visited website: Ummm… tumblr, gmail, facebook, and my grad school’s website are probs all really close rn hair colour: Natural is a mediumish darker brown colour… currently it’s a brownish/purple colour bc I dyed it months ago and just let it fade long or short hair: Shoulder length, so longish? It makes it easier to control my curls and make them feel fun do you have a crush on someone: Nope what do you like about yourself: Aahhh…. I like to think I’m fun to hang out with I guess… I’m that person whose like “let’s go on an adventure!” And then drags friends to walmart at midnight before walking around campus piercings: I have my ears pierced, and my nose. I used to have my septum pierced too but I took it out. blood type: B positive nickname: Mack or Kenzi relationship status: Happily single, dating takes work and always feels like I’m trying to present this nice and shiny version of myself…. anyone else feel that? zodiac: Aries pronouns: She/Her favourite tv show: Gilmore Girls gets my soul, but Stargate Atlantis is right there too tattoos: Tribalesque (i don’t know any other way to describe it) Celtic woman on one shoulder blade, Celtic tree of life on the other, I have the words “hope is a thing with feathers” (Emily Dickinson) on my left forearm, two black bands around my right forearm, three dots on my right hand ring finger, and this three dots, three lines celtic symbol on my left ring finger (those last two were done in my dorm room last year by friends). I’m also about to get a rose on my right forearm and my bro and I are going to get small sibling tattoos right or left handed: Right, but I can kinda write with my left bc in elementary school this kid in my class broke their dominant arm and it freaked me out bc if that happened to me I wouldn’t be able to do my schoolwork so I practised writing with my left hand. (I can also write so it’s perfectly backwards like a mirrored image bc I used to get bored in class sometimes) piercing: Yup. sport: I watch soccer and baseball, but I don’t play anything (Sleep break and also tired of fighting with mobile yaaayyy) vacation: Oooohhh anyplace with marvellous culture and history really. But I’d love to go to Paris or Rome. pair of trainers: Do converse count? Part 6: more general : eating: All food is wonderful but I love my dad’s bigos stew. drinking: Water with lemon in it. Or coffee and tea I’m about to: Finish watching Ladies in Lavender then go to bed. 

waiting for: Grad school to start this fall. (See: also slightly nervous about starting) want: To see the David Bowie exhibit in Seattle. get married: If I find the right person. I want something lowkey and fun tho, like a party that happens to have a wedding at it haha. career: I dunno, I’m looking at college professor/author right now. Or just switching gears and pursuing musical theatre haha. hugs or kisses: I like hugs more, but not when people just surprise me with them. lips or eyes: Always eyes. shorter or taller: I’m 5'9" so I guess taller…? older or younger: I am 24 sooo I feel older but really that’s quite young in the grand scheme of things. nice arms or nice stomach: I gotta be real I love nice biceps. hook up or relationship: Relationship. troublemaker or hesitant: Depends on my mood and the situation. kissed a stranger: Yup. drank hard liquor: Yeppers, quite a bit actually. lost glasses or contact lenses: I misplace my glasses around the house all of the time but not actually lost them yet thank goodness. turned someone down: Yes. sex on the first date: Not my scene. broken someone’s heart: I really hope I haven’t, but I feel like I might have. had your heart broken: Only platonically by friendships that went south been arrested: Nope, and I hope to keep it that way haha. cried when someone died: I’ve yet to have someone I know personally die, and I hope it’s a long way off still. fallen for a friend: I have friends that I was attracted to at the start of our friendship, but never really fallen for them no. Part 7: do you believe in: yourself: I do now, but it took several years. miracles: I do, but I also think they’re not quite what we describe for them in our cultural narratives . love at first sight: No, love involves seeing people clearly and unconditionally caring for them. I think we can have connection at first sight but not love really. Santa Claus: I believe that Santa Clause is the spirit of Christmas and a wonderful way to see good in the world. kiss on the first date: Depends. But normally no. I did have a first date that ended in a firm handshake. That was interesting. He was also the one who on our second date listened to me explain the beowulf text narrative arc for St Christopher and was genuinely interested so… angels: I am definitely open to the possibility. Part 8: Other: current best friend’s name: Cece is my bae. eye colour: Green. Favourite movie: Reality Bites or Pride and Prejudice

[magicmirrored]

tagged by: stole it from @eidetic187​ whoops

rules: tag ten followers you want to know better !

name: Sakra

gender: Female

star sign: Sagittarius (birth is soon.... what the hell)

height: 4′11

what’s your middle name? no

put your itunes on shuffle. what are the first 6 songs that popped up?

kind of at work and Can’t but i can give u some of the last songs i listened to

1. Born Depressed (Drill Queen) Chiptune Remix

Subdivisions - Ninja Sex Party cover

Heat of the Moment - Ninja Sex Party

Eterna City Theme (Day)

Ashes of Eden - Breaking Benjamin

Poor Unfortunate Souls/I’ve Put a Spell on You - Voctave

i have really weird music tastes

grab the book nearest you and turn to page 23. what’s line 17? again can’t bc i’m at work but it’s hilarious that i work in a library

ever had a poem or song written about you? no but my best friend wrote her college application essay about me so that’s pretty nifty

when was the last time you played air guitar? like jamming out? years. just going through the motions? yesterday i think

who is your celebrity crush? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

what’s a sound you hate; sound you love? LIP SMACKING IS THE WORST same w tongue clicking n like soft throat clearing? IF IT ISN’T GUTTURAL YOU’RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT

violins, trumpets, bells??? piano too. just the general sound of them i love. also the sound a book makes when you slide it out of its space in the shelves

do you believe in ghosts? how about aliens? i don’t explicitly but if provided evidence i will

do you drive? if so, have you ever crashed? nope, nearly got into accidents when others were driving tho

what was the last book you read? need to finish that third magnus chase book man..........

do you like the smell of gasoline? some days

what was the last movie you saw? uhhh moana way back when, i don’t see movies

if documentaries count then The House I Live In, good shit would recommend

what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? sprained one ankle while running in gym, couldn’t dance for a few months. then when I went back to dancing I sprained the other one.

still danced in the recital, though. knew all my routines. so TAKE THAT, UNIVERSE.

do you have any obsessions right now? do my friends count as obsessions bc i love them

do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? i don’t enjoy holding grudges. depends who they are and what they did. if they’re a friend, I‘m willing to talk and forgive. unless you pull shit like emotionally manipulate me and my friends. don’t take too kindly to that. happens more than it should, probably.

in a relationship? idk lemme ask my girlfriend

what loser? @hopeprevaiils hey som am i single

tagging: no