#what kind of 9 year old listens to this I'm laughing so hard

[greppelheks]

I listened to this when I was nine. I don't remember but I must've been the coolest little weird girl ever. I was 126 years old at nine.

[purplesurveys]

1895

How are you doing today? I think I'm doing okay. I felt terrible heading into the weekend and still feel it lingering to an extent, so I'm trying to recalibrate as much as I can because it's Monday again and I don't want to bring in my personal emotions to my work.

In any case, I'm still up (it's 12:40 AM) because Jin is going to be a torchbearer at the Olympics and he's slated to come on at ~2:30 AM hehe, so I'm using the waiting time as motivation to do some work early. I've already finished one Powerpoint I didn't need to do until Thursday, so I feel great about that!

What is the last song you listened to in a car? A Milli by Lil Wayne. It was on the radio and that particular station has a hip-hop and R&B lineup every Sunday, and they're usually able to kill it with the throwbacks.

Do you like prefer apple cider warm or cold? I've never tried that.

When did you last feel misunderstood? Friday.

Have you ever visited The Louvre or would you like to? I haven't, and I would like to.

Have you ever accidentally locked yourself out of your place of residence? Just once, and I was around 10. I had a roaming security guard help me back in.

Do you remember your favorite songs as a kid? I was obsessed with Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend because it had profanity in it and 9 year old me used to get a crazy adrenaline rush from saying "motherfucking" whenever no one was there to hear.

Do you currently feel calm? Yes, and it's such a wonderful feeling to have. I wish I can feel calm all the time, haha.

When did you last lace up a pair of shoes? Today.

What’s your go to comfort meal? Spicy tuna salad.

Do you enjoy cloud watching? When I'm in the mood for it, which admittedly doesn't come up often. It's calming when I do it, though.

Do you currently have any candles lit? Nopes.

If applicable, what’s your favorite sports team?

How many cardigans do you own? I have one, which funnily enough has gone missing. I haven't seen it for a few weeks now, come to think of it...

How much is too much for clothes? Idk, it's subjective for me. I don't typically bat an eye at how much luxury clothes can cost because...idk like it's always been that way I guess. But, and this is just one of very many specific examples, if a brand is going for a tattered, grubby aesthetic and sells a worn-out looking shirt for thousands of dollars, that's when I start to kind of make fun of it and the people who buy it.

How soon do you normally decorate for holidays? We only ever decorate for Christmas, and in our case and because my family is Filipino, we usually have our tree up by early October.

Are there any important things happening this week? We're dropping my dad off at the airport on Friday and it fucking sucks but we gotta do it. 

Do you know anyone who is terrified of dogs? One of my uncles.

What scent was the last soap you used? Just normal soapy soap smell. No added scents to it.

How old were you when you made your first big purchase? I was 24 when I bought my phone. Important disclaimer: I did use my dad's credit card to do the initial payment but only because I don't have my own cc lol; but I paid back the amount the same day and paid for the subsequent installments.

What last made you angry? Being talked down to.

What’s a color you think is underrated? Olive green.

What are you usually doing when midnight comes around and you can’t sleep? I just put a video on and put my phone on low brightness and I can be knocked out in like 5-10 minutes.

What is your favorite way to eat rice? (white, steamed, fried, brown, sweetened…) Steamed, white. In every meal. Eating in Vietnam was such a struggle because it was so hard to find rice anywhere lol. We ended up getting Jollibee on Grabfood and even that was a challenge + culture shock because they also barely had rice in their menu.

What color is the top you’re wearing? Dark green.

When did you last laugh so hard you cried? This afternoon when I was playing card games with my relatives.

What’s your favorite horror movie? The Shining.

What’s your favorite and least favorite fast food restaurant? Favorite is KFC for making the best fried chicken ever. Least favorite, Chowking – I just find their food so blah. Super oily, and their branches are also notoriously gross and poorly maintained. I have yet to see a clean Chowking.

How many pictures can you see in the room you’re in? One – my photobooth photo with my sister when we were in Saigon.

When did you last sign your signature? Around a month ago for my driver's license renewal.

What cover do you think is better than the original song? This is saying it loosely, but I do tend to listen to BTS' cover of Yoongi's So Far Away more than the original. I just feel like it was made more special when the whole vocal line covered it. That said, I love that Jimin and Tae got to do the song for the live performances since their takes didn't make the cut for the studio version.

Are you currently listening to music? Well, yeah, the last question made me want to look for the vocal line's version of the song haha.

What is something you’ve been working on? Being the best leader I can be for my team.

What’s something that excites you about the future? Earning more money and traveling the world.

How often do you drink smoothies? Never.

What’s a TV show you have gotten into recently? Continued from Sunday. None. tbh. It's very rare for me to get into shows.

Have you ever had to have a tooth cut out? Nope.

When did you last rush for something? Last Friday when I left 10 minutes later than I should've.

How many blankets do you own? I think it's around 5.

Have you drank enough water today? Lots and lots of it.

Do you prefer apple pie or pecan pie? I've never had pecan, but I'd go with that as I don't like apples.

What color takes up most of your wardrobe? Blacks and whites.

What makes you feel alive? Crying.

Who is your last missed call from? Just my mom.

Do you have any unusual pet peeves? When people only message "hi" and will type their actual request only after you acknowledge. It's one of the most annoying things Ever and I'm having none of it, so I don't reply whenever that happens and just wait for them to either spit it out or never message again.

What is a food you think is nasty that most people enjoy? Fruits.

Would you rather never be sick again or be rich? I'd take the money.

Do you have a specialty dish that you’re really good at making? Haha, nope.

What video games did you play when you were growing up? Sims 2 is definitely high up on my list. I also played GTA III and San Andreas – did none of the missions; I just really liked the open world concept and spent the whole time driving and following traffic rules, lol. Mario Kart Wii, Super Smash Bros Brawl, and Warioware, too.

Are you good at making big decisions alone or do you tend to seek approval from others? I seek inputs, not approval – just for other perspectives. Otherwise the choice I make is usually what I want to go for or what I think would be best for me.

Does your town or city have good public transport, or is it easier to drive? Neither of those work out for us tbh. The public transport definitely sucks and will suck the soul out of you, but it's no better having your own car because so do 400,000 fucking people. It just sucks having to go anywhere here which is why I'm so grateful to still be WFH.

What was the last cocktail you drank? Ooh I can't remember the name or what was in it, but it was this quirky drink that was topped with some kind of matcha latte or something and it tasted really good!

Are you good at keeping running counts and tallies in your head? Usually yes, but just to be safe I like to keep my phone nearby so I can track there too.

Does your country have its own edition of Big Brother? It does.

How often do you take a nap during the day? Almost never these days.

What social media platforms do you use? Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.

Are there any foods you hate the smell of but like the taste, or vice versa? Longganisa smells really good but like 97% of time tastes like shit. I can't think of any example for the other way around.

Do you have a dishwasher? Not a thing here.

Who do you live with? Parents, siblings, two dogs and a cat.

Are you listening to anything right now? No.

What is one of your favourite sitcoms? Friends :)

Do you make to-do lists? I do.

If you could magically become fluent in any language, what would it be? Korean.

Have you ever tried vegan ice cream? I don't think so.

What pet names do you use for your friends/loved ones? Sis, siz, sizt, sissymae, mars, sissymars, mare, mum, ate, mima, mumsh, mumshie, mother, motherhood, sissycakes, marecakes...in the Philippines, you can make any word a pet name lmao. You can also make up words and make them a pet name hahaha.

What pet names do you like to be called? Any of the above is fine, hah.

What was the best concert you’ve ever seen? Paramore during their After Laughter tour, or Agust D!

Do you have any hobbies? Sure.

What is your favourite pasta shape? Fettuccine.

Have you ever developed your own film? I have not.

When was the last time you stayed in a hotel/motel and where was that? Tagaytay, around a month ago.

What breed was the last dog you saw? Beagle and Yorkie.

Do you watch the Super Bowl? Nope.

What’s your favourite Disney movie? Toy Story and Tangled.

What’s the most stressful job you’ve ever had? I've had just one so it wins by default.

What was the last text message you received? I don't know and please don't let me check, it's 100% related to work.

Should you be asleep right now? If so, go to bed! Little bit, yeah. Hahaha it's fine, I think I'll hold out for an hour or two more.

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this Week # 152 (Year 3/Week 48):

7 more with gorgeous Belgian actress Virginie Efira:

🍿 Continuing with the rest of Justine Triet's work, In bed with Victoria was a study for Triet's later 2 films. Like 'Sybil' and 'Anatomy of a fall' it is fascinated with the process of elaborate legal machinations, a strong women's sexuality, great kid performances, intellectual analysis and delightful sensuality.

Virginie Efira is a single mom and a powerful criminal lawyer here trying to balance her work and love life, but she is confused, and so is this movie. Still, they are both a delight to watch. 5/10.

🍿 A boilerplate, fast-paced romantic comedy of a hot "cougar" falling for a 19 year old boy, It Boy, predictable and formulaic, but she's such an eye candy, it's impossible to hate.

🍿 An Impossible Love, my second challenging film by Catherine Corsini (After 'Summertime'), 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. A difficult and elusive drama about a beautiful woman who passionately falls in love with a dashing young man. But as soon she becomes pregnant with his child, he leaves her, and refuses to take responsibility for their daughter. What starts as a romantic fairy-tale, turns in the course of 30+ years, into a nightmare of cruelty, abuse and heartache. The dynamics of a horribly narcissist father and his hold of the women who wants to trust him are very hard to watch. Beautifully sad and brilliantly dark. 9/10.

On the other hand, in every one of the 8-9 movies that I've seen with her so far, she always have some 'steamy' sex scenes (but they are usually perfunctory and all are similar in style). I am absolutely not complaining, but is it part of her contract?

🍿 Just the two of us, her most recent film from 2023 is similar in parts to 'An impossible love'. This one too is about a gaslighted, terrorized wife, whose cruel, possessive husband is a disgusting, hard to watch abuser. For some reason she plays here a double role of twin sisters, and her laugh (when she does) lights up the screen. But this was an ugly and unpleasant experience.

🍿 Night Shift, my second by Anne Fontaine (After 'Adore' with Naomi Watts), It's a police procedural, a somehow-updated, French version of Hal Ashby's 'The last detail'. 3 police officers must escort an illegal immigrant from Tajikistan back to his country, knowing he will probably be killed there. I did not expect it to be so captivating. 9/10.

🍿 Paris memories, my second by French director Alice Winocour (She co-wrote the Turkish award-winner 'Mustang'). Efira plays a lovely woman traumatized from having survived a mass-shooting in a Parisian bistro. Going through similar mental agonies as Jeff Bridges did in 'Fearless', this one felt like banal film-making with no real depth. Some moments of pathos when the POV shifted to a couple of the other characters. (Photo Above)

🍿 Because I'm a completist (and sometimes a masochist), I checked out one episode (S2 E1) of Call my agent, a fast-paced French serial of the Netflix kind (i.e., slick, shallow, "funny" with constant muzak in the background). It's about a Parisian entertainment talent agency, and each episode stars a real celebrity. 2/10.

🍿

Young Picasso, a simple British documentary about the early years of the 20th Century's greatest artist. From his birth in Malaga to 1907, when he created Les Demoiselles d’Avignon, "The first modern art masterpiece". Absolutely riveting. 9/10.

🍿

2 by Alexander Payne, both starring Paul Giamatti as an unsuccessful teacher with an unfinished manuscript in his drawer:

🍿 The holdovers, Alexander Payne's 8th feature, and my favorite of all of them (Even more than 'The Descendants'). Absolute pleasure from the very first chords, like listening to Simon and Garfunkel for the first time. 10/10.

🍿 "...If anybody orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I'm not drinking any fucking Merlot!..."

Rewatch: Sideways, the film that helped cause a real growth in pinot noir sales worldwide. I forgot how wonderful it was: It really got better with age... With "Gretchen Schwartz" as Miles' Ex-wife.

[It reminded me of one of the happiest summers of my life, in 1974, when I worked the grape-picking 'vendange' season in the south of France. I started in Perpignan, and together with other free-spirited hobos, hitchhiked north every two or three weeks to a different vinery, and ended up in Champagne. We were housed in worker's quarters, worked long hours in the field, were fed fantastic rustic French food, and received (beside the meager wages) two bottles of red wine each - every day.]

🍿

'The Holdovers' was a modern adaptation of a 1935 French drama, Merlusse, directed by Marcel Pagnol. It also tells of a reclusive teacher assigned to watch over some pupils over the Christmas holidays. And he also has a glass eye, and stinks of codfish, etc. The new version was much superior.

🍿

Re-watch: Umberto Eco, A Library of the World, a wonderful documentary about the private library of the Italian medievalist, philosopher, semiotician, novelist, cultural critic (and flutist).

Roaming through the many rooms hosting his vast MIlanese library of 1,200 rare books, and 50,000+ newer ones is any bibliophile's masturbatory wet dream.

It features the same Carl Orff cover that Hans Zimmer adapted to 'True Romance' under the name 'You're so cool'. 9/10.

Now I want to watch an adaptation of Foucault's Pendulum if there ever was one. Or at least re-watch his 'The name of the rose'. I also wish there was a movie about Eco's favorite writer, Athanasius Kircher.

🍿

So instead of reading all of Borges books again, I was looking for movies based on his stories. Bertolucci's The Spider’s Stratagem, made in the same year as 'The Conformist', is the first that came to mind. An operatic web of truths and lies, symbols of murder & betrayal. "Athos Magnani arrives at the sleepy town of Tara, where years ago, his father—also named Athos Magnani—was assassinated by Fascists while attending a performance of Verdi’s opera Rigoletto." Memory, identity, stagecraft, a trip to the kingdom of the dead.

🍿

From a recent list of '30 best mobster movies', The Traitor, an epic Italian saga about Tommaso Buscetta. He was the first Sicilian Cosa Nostra boss to turn informant, and whose collaborations were used at the big anti-Mafia trials of the 80's. Not as great as 'The Godfather', but a solid entertainment piece. 7/10.

🍿

I struggled with the new disjointed psychodrama May December, my 5th film by Todd Haynes. I found it pointless, confusing and lacking emotional focus. Not close to the pathos of his two earlier masterpieces, ‘Carol’ and ‘Far from heaven’. Natalie Portman was an unreliable narrator, and Julianne Moore‘s family was unconvincingly flat. It felt unnecessary. 3/10.

🍿

The platform is a cruel Spanish horror / science-fiction story, with an unusual hook: Prisoners are held in a 300-floor vertical tower, two to a cell. Once a day they receive food lowered on a platform to their level, and they have only two minutes to eat as much as they can, but the lower you're in the system, the less you're left with. This is not something I usually enjoy, and indeed I despised this unpleasant, disgusting parable of inequality.

🍿

First watch: I kept reading that the sequel Hot Shots! Part Deux was better than the original, but really not by much. A few funny jokes in otherwise lame and lazy spoof. 3/10.

🍿

4 more documentaries:

🍿 Innocence, a painful Israeli documentary by Guy Davidi about Israel's compulsory military industrial-cultural complex. How it indoctrinates, brainwashes and overwhelms (nearly) all its children to become cogs in the war and oppression machine. Told from the prospective of some soldiers who had committed suicide while serving in the army, it's a depressing, evil and unjust story. But it is told in an irritating 'poetic' voice-overs, and I hated everything about it. 3/10.

🍿 Memories from Palestine, a Danish documentary about a tiny museum in the refugee camp of Shatila, Lebanon. It’s a rather small, decrepit room, where the elderly caretaker Mohammeds had been collecting some old keepsakes from 3 generations ago.

🍿 Coded, a lousy documentary about gay illustrator J. C. Leyendecker. The famous commercial artist cloaked his sexuality while producing popular magazine covers for 50 years. 1/10.

🍿 Bob and Don: A Love Story, a light 20-minute documentary by Judd Apatow, about the friendship between the two comedians. Not much meat on it, but OK.

🍿

Summer in Tyrol, a 2010 Danish short about an old couple who argue with each other, even as the old lady dies in a hospital room.

🍿

(My complete movie list is here)

[grumpygreenwitch]

Fanfiction 22-23

The thing is, as much as I have a problem with the vampire situation in the Guild Hunter universe, I can also admit that it fits within the universe, much for the same reasons and points Alyss has made so far. The lil' sunflower's just lucky that he's caught the Cadre at a time when its members are all critically open to the possibility of change and progress. Barring one of them, who really ought to go back to his nap.

Buy me a Ko-fi?

1-2-3 + 4-5 + 6-7-8-9-10 + 11-12 + 13-14 + 15-16 + 17-18-19 + 20-21 + 22-23 + 24-25 + 26-27

22

Alyss was shown to a computer room under the hyperbolic watch of three angels and two vampires, both of whom felt so old to his senses that the hairs on the back of his neck kept lifting up as if he were their prey. He behaved, for the most part. He printed out the lists for every territory, even if he very much doubted some of them wanted the things. He also printed several copies of another personal project and handed them out to one of the vampires, a dark-skinned, dark-haired, strikingly handsome man. "Would you please make sure to get these to Archangel Suyin?" She'd been kind to him and Alyss could only hope that her kindness would extend to others. "And Archangel Raphael too, I guess," he added. For all his ruthlessness the Archangel of North America had been fair, and he'd listened. "Or um, I guess, get them to someone who can?"

The vampire's brows went up. He stared at Alyss levelly, trying to find humor in the dark brown eyes; he saw none, only the young angel's earnest solemnity. The vampire had come to indulge his curiosity and meet Alyss, nothing else, but he hadn't expected the little goldfinch to really not know who he was taking to. "I'll see what I can do," he assured Alyss evenly.

Alyss nodded. Then he hit the manufacturer's reset for the computer.

"Would you like me to set it on fire as well," the same vampire asked, amused, when the angels around them realized what he'd done and lunged forward to try and stop the process.

"No, it's not mine," Alyss told him wanly. "I'm so tired. Do you know which way to my cell, please?"

The vampire pressed his lips tightly shut. It would have been mean to laugh, and there was no guarantee Alyss wouldn't misunderstand the gesture. "I'll take you there," he assured the angel. "Come on."

Alyss followed the vampire dutifully, and they walked in silence for a long moment.

“Do you really believe that? That the vampiric contract is unfair?” “Yes,” Alyss said, walking slowly and hoping he wouldn’t have to answer too many questions. He was very tired and he had a terrible craving for Jean’s cornbread. “Most of all because there’s no room for error, no room for the fact a vampire is a newborn when they sign it.”

“I’d hardly call myself a newborn,” the vampire countered mildly.

“Then why do you count your age from the day you’re Made?” Alyss replied. “I know bloodlust is a terrible thing. I’m not a fighter, I’m not on the frontlines, but no one could miss the horrors that happened when all those vampires rose up. But it’s hard to see detail in a mob. I have. I’ve seen detail. I’ve been to so many places, so many homes. Do you want to know what teaches a vampire to crest that wave? It’s not fear. It’s support. The ones who learn self-control the best are taught, not terrorized.”

“So, what, love?” The vampire scoffed.

“What? No! This isn’t a Beatles song,” Alyss chided him sternly, and the vampire’s amusement rose to new heights. “Support! A support network. Friends. Family. Companions. Knowing that if they slip up they won’t automatically be killed, that someone will be there to catch them before they fall into the abyss. That someone’s there to teach them how to walk on the edge without falling, to begin with. That there’s someone there saying, ‘if you are in danger of falling, here’s my hand, take it, pull yourself up.” Alyss huffed, rubbing wearily at his face. “We teach our babies. They get a hundred years of leeway if not more. You’d think we’d teach the other babies we make, too. Do you think you could get a message to the security forces here at the Refuge?"

All of the vampire’s amusement had vanished at the stark, unexpected truth that the young angel had put before him with such simple words. For a long moment all he could think of was the many times, the many people for whom he’d been that hand, well knowing that he was all that stood between them and the abyss.

For a second all he could think of was the one moment when he had been offered that hand by his best friend, when he’d needed it the most.

He had to bring himself back to reality with an effort, and gave Alyss a sharp, hard look when the young angel’s final words sank in. "Why?"

"There's an angel running around. He's, he was of Charisemnon's Court. I think he ought to be..." Alyss groped for a word that would fit beyond his own incensed feelings. "Watched. He might be guilty of war crimes but that's not something I'd really know for sure."

"Describe him," the vampire growled.

Alyss described Moissani as best he could, and then added, "Oh, I, uh..."

"Go on?"

"I might have punched him," Alyss finished in a rush. "Last night."

"Last night, when, last night? You weren't supposed to have any visitors."

"He snuck into my cell."

"That's a punching offense?"

"No! It was, it was just what he said."

"Uh-huh, and that was?"

"Wait, how do you know I wasn't supposed to have any visitors? I did too have visitors!" But by then they were at the gates to Elijah’s ward, and the vampire handed him over to the guards there, threw him a jaunty little wave, and stalked away.

23

Alyss’ heart sank when the Cadre reconvened and he heard a faint, familiar voice coming from the chamber as he drew close. "No, oh, no."

He couldn't rush in, his guards wouldn't let him, so instead he stayed back with a sparse crowd of people, none of whom he recognized aside from Jessamy and the Hummingbird. And, of course, Kliman, who faced the Cadre with calm composure as they spoke.

"Have we not wasted enough time in this matter?" Aegaeon was asking. "How many more people are we going to have chattering on today? The boy is guilty, he admits it freely."

"He is only guilty if we agree that the laws he has broken are true and right as they are written," Elijah countered mildly. "It could be said that in claiming a flaw inherent in the vampiric contract and Making, he is defending himself." His tone became almost casual. "It's a pretty good defense, to be fair."

"It is criminal behavior all the same. Unless we want to inspire vampires to run from their contracts? What need for the Guild, then? Let them run wild, slaughter the human population. What do we care?"

"Security found your friend," a familiar voice rumbled behind Alyss, the guards making no effort to shoo the vampire away. The angel turned briefly to look at him, but his attention was fretfully riveted on Kliman, looking so tiny at the center of the chamber. "He’s being watched. He claims you have something of his."

That did get Alyss' attention, and he felt his entire body go tight. "He can present a bloody contract for authentication, then," he replied sharply. He caught sight of the Hummingbird saying something to Jessamy and a severe-looking angel with wings of dark gold edged in black. "And then he can bite my whole ass."

"The whole point being made is that the Guild is as necessary as the efforts Alyss has put forth," Raphael replied in counter to Aegaeon, his tone tight. "Alyss himself made that point. In analyzing the information he has provided, I am forced to agree with him."

Alyss cringed. "Oh, that's going to get him in trouble with his Consort."

The vampire next to him made a low, amused sound. "Those are his Consort's words he's repeating. Which she growled out at him after he told her of your meeting earlier and gave her all those documents you sent him."

Alyss turned to face him, incredulous. "Who are you?"

"I will not decide on something as serious as an angel's execution without giving due consideration to every part of this matter!" Titus exclaimed. "Already the information he has given me shows this behavior isn't just abhorrent, it's widespread, and it's old. Discipline is one thing. This is... a sickness."

"Then perhaps you should have not looked at the data," the Archangel of Central Europe declared.

"Do you persist on ignoring the matter, Aegaeon?" Caliane demanded.

"There is no matter to ignore. Don't presume to tell me how to deal with my affairs."

"No. But a majority vote does." Her voice pitched to carry, the oldest of the Ancients declared impassively, "I would hear the evidence Kliman offers on behalf of Alyss."

"So would I," Alexander looked deeply thoughtful, and deeply troubled. The other votes came almost simultaneously.

Alyss saw Lilah move forward with a podium and a laptop. Kliman waited for the vampire to finish whatever she was doing and offer a nod, and thanked her before turning to the Council. "You have heard Alyss' words," she began. "And that is more than I ever thought could be achieved when I was doing the work he does. Yes, the knowledge you can't read from his mind you can probably pluck from mine. I'm older, but I'm no Archangel. And I don't think in numbers." She smiled fleetingly. "But I know some of you are beginning to see how deep this rot has spread while the rest of us sat in comfort, hoping that the rest of our brethren were, if not good, at least decent." She glanced at Aegaeon, then at Raphael. "Old age does not oblige any of us to be good. I think we very recently learned that lesson quite well."

"Get on with it," Aegaeon gritted out.

"I want you to hear from those Alyss helped."

"No -!" Alyss tried to surge forward, but the vampire had caught him even before his angelic guards could, his grip implacable and unbreakable. "No, she can't! Kliman!"

The older angel turned to hear her name called. She didn't look surprised to see Alyss struggling to get to her. "All of them agreed," she declared to the assembly, leaving Alyss so surprised he stopped struggling. "Every last one of them. Being caught is not nearly as important to them as making sure what happened to them never happens to anyone else."

"Oh, but -" Alyss fretted with a low, inarticulate sound.

"I'm sure some part of you is occasionally worried about your own continued existence, Alyss, not just everyone else's," the vampire told him, astonished and amused in equal parts.

Alyss strained in his grip. The vampire might as well be made of steel.

"You want to let go of my bird," a low, low growl suddenly came from a man who'd just stepped past one of the guards with absurd, inhuman grace. He wasn't armed, he couldn't be, not so deep in the Refuge, but he radiated menace like a small sun.

Alyss' breath stuttered out of him; the world, so grim and frightening until a moment ago, when it seemed like he had no more agency than a lamb among wolves, burst into colors and life. "Jean!"

The vampire holding onto the young angel turned very slowly to look at the new arrival. "I don't think we've -"

"I know who you are. I don't give a fuck. You can kill me easy, we both know that. But it won't be clean, and it won't be quiet." Jean smiled ferally. "Because I'll make sure of it. Let go of my bird."

"And you are?"

"His Second."

"Then you can keep him from interrupting, can't you?"

Jean held the other vampire's eyes for a long moment before he sighed, something very like his familiar exasperation showing in his lean features. He dropped his head and rubbed at his forehead before looking up and facing the angel. "Alyss."

"She's going to reveal them!" Alyss protested feebly, caught between his joy at seeing Jean and knowing, by that tone, that the vampires were in agreement. "To the Cadre!"

"They know." Jean slipped in front of him. The guards, at a nod from the other vampire, had fallen back. "Bird, come here." He touched lightly Alyss' face and whispered, "I'm sorry. There's not enough words to tell you how sorry I am. I just want you to stay put. Just that and I'll take whatever comes after, alright?"

Alyss twittered in wordless, defeated protest.

"He'll behave," Jean told the other vampire, who let go of Alyss.

As soon as he was free, the angel crashed into his vampire, holding him as tight as he could. Jean, caught unprepared, staggered briefly back before he could wrap his arms around the angel. "My bird. My sunflower."

"Why are you here, why did you come? You were supposed to stay safe in Boston!" Alyss protested, even as he kissed the taller man.

"I've never been safe a day in my life, Alyss. I don't need to be safe, I need you." He pulled away to look at that delicate face, the dark hollows beneath the sweet brown eyes. Every time he caught a glimpse of what had been done to his angel's wings he felt a cold, black fury come up inside him and try to choke him. "I didn't mean a single word I said back at the lodge. I let my nightmares run away with my mouth. I'm sorry."

"No, but you don't understand, Moissani's here. He knows I know of you, he knows. I, he made me angry and I punched him, but even when I thought I wasn't saying anything he still figured things out and I -"

"Wait, you what?" For a moment, the mere mention of that name had made the whole world shrink to nothing, turn into a devouring, laughing void. It lasted about as long as it took for the rest of Alyss' words to sink in, shattering the darkness so thoroughly Jean wasn't sure it'd be able to put itself back together again. "You punched him?"

"Um."

"Ah," the other vampire said conversationally. "You must be the one who inspired that whole ‘bite my whole ass’ thing."

Jean looked between the two of them. "Alyss doesn't swear."

"Um."

"The angel I met sure does. Now shush, we're beginning to get looks."

Beyond mortified, Alyss would have hidden under his wings and attempted to disappear if he could. Unable to do so, instead he buried his face against Jean's chest. The scent of his vampire, so familiar, so dear, finally drowned out the nearly overpowering scent of ancient predator from the other vampire. Jean's arms came around him once again, holding him close.

They listened, the Cadre and the people gathered with them, as vampire after vampire came online, unafraid, determined. As each of them described horrors beyond number. Many of them had prepared themselves for a hard life; they expected nothing less than the most rigid discipline. "You take a dragon into your veins," one of them said, "you expect learning to ride it will be hard and bloody. Seventy five years didn't teach me shit about my dragon." He looked haunted in the tiny screen. "They taught me only that nothing I ever did, that no matter how I obeyed, my only reward would be torture."

"I was never going to be free," the Finnish woman spoke in heavily accented English, her voice terribly devoid of emotion. "Every effort Kolia put forth was meant to break me. If my body was busy healing, he would abuse my mind. If both were unfit, I was cuffed to the floor until one healed enough to serve. There was no end. His harem, they are all like that. It is less trouble and better profits."

"I know hard work. I knew I was in for a fight." The young man spoke angry Spanish, translated by an angel with pale cream wings splotched with tan and gold. "But I thought I had at least a chance. If nothing I can do is good enough, then tell me! Teach me! Don't just starve me and lock me up in a barrel for your buddies to play soccer with!"

And so it went, until suddenly the build-up of archangelic anger and energy caused the computer to spit out sparks and black out with a sad little sound.

"These people could be anyone. Paid to say such things." Zanaya looked furious, but her words were a transparent attempt at seeing two sides of the issue when in truth she’d been leaning already towards one. The words of the Finnish vampire had touched something in her that was whispering and would not be silenced.

"Then allow me to present to you one of those vampires, here, in the flesh."

"Here, take him," Jean said quietly.

Alyss was slipped from one vampire's arms into another's grip before he knew what had happened. "Wait, what?" By the time he realized what was going on, Jean was next to Kliman. "No!"

"Do you want to tell him what he can and can't do with his life?" the other vampire asked quietly as he held onto the struggling angel, his voice full of dark, unspoken intensity. "You can." The words surprised the angel into holding still and actually listening. "I'm almost sure he'd do what you asked. But he might never get another chance to face his demons. Give him this. He needs it."

"But Moissani's here somewhere!" Alyss twisted frantically against that unbreakable grip.

"And if what you've said is true, he's not gonna touch your vampire, Alyss. I promise. Not ever again."

Kliman had stepped back to give Jean the Cadre's full attention. The vampire stood there, staring at the floor, breathing a little ragged. "Well, you've heard all that and you're not impressed. Can't say I'm surprised, but in my world most angels never cared anyway." With a sudden burst of movement he yanked off his jacket and the long-sleeved shirt he wore, and threw them aside. "Last time someone saw me without a shirt on was a year ago, give or take, a pure accident. No one sees me. No one touches me. I can't stand it. It feels like the goddamn scalpel all over again." The grid of scars gleamed whitely in the lights of the chamber. Around his neck there was a plain cord. He grabbed it and twisted to his back the blood-dipped, amber-colored feather, then spread his arms and turned slowly, letting them all see the extent of the scarring.

Alyss went limp in the vampire's grip at the sight of the feather.

"Who did this?" Suyin asked, one of her hands gone to a tight fist. "Who is your Maker, who holds your contract?"

"There was no contract. I was a ditch-digger in the French Territories four hundred years ago. I had three things going for me: I looked good, I knew how to fight, and three separate outbreaks of god-knows-what had failed to kill me. That was enough to perk up the feelers of a little plague doctor living in Africa under Charisemnon's aegis." He paused as the Council's attention sharpened. "God, he made it sound good, you know? I drank something on this side of the pond and woke up in his stronghold, already Made. Clean clothes, clean food, all the learning I never thought I'd have. Training, supposedly to become part of his guard. He made it sound like Christmas had come early and I just hadn't noticed. He could've given me a contract and I wouldn't have been able to read it, let alone sign it."

Jean spat out the poison of his tale, the things he'd never been able to tell anyone, not even Alyss. The centuries spent being carved into a grid, so much so that even vampiric healing couldn't rid him of the scars. Of disease and poison being cultivated on every inch of him, studied, dissected, tested, tempered. Of attempting escape twice, and failing. Of escaping a third time only because he'd had help. "It was easy for him," he explained when Raphael asked. "Just break a coupla necks, say it was me. With the price he offered, Hunters tripped over themselves to bring me back."

By the time he was done talking he was so exhausted his brogue had begun to take over his voice. "Far as I know, I'm the only one in the pipeline," he admitted. "The only one without a contract what's got away. Y'all want to believe your people are... fair." The vampire smiled humorlessly. "No. You want to believe vampires are treated right, hard, but right. Hell, no. Do I think you're goin' to fix this? A year ago, I woulda said no. But I've met a few angels since that honestly seem to give a damn. One, a fluke, two, an exception. Three?" He glanced at Alyss. "Yeah, three sold me on it. But I'll be honest. I'm expecting y'all to prove me wrong."

"I hold Charisemnon's territory now, vampire," Zanaya said quietly. "It is my duty to right his wrongs. So take this with you. I can do nothing for the horrors you faced or the injustice you've survived, but this much I can do: let the Cadre bear witness, four hundred years is enough. If there had been one, consider your contract fulfilled. You are free."

[time-is-standing]

top 10 songs of february

- a bit late. I'm really sorry, these past two weeks were terrible. but let's skip to the good part

1. under the weather by CORPSE

as you might tell, I've been quite under the weather this past month, so yeah, fitting song to be in the first place. I love corpse, no matter what he does, his new music is always finding a way to my heart but this time... it couldn't have been more perfect even if he wanted to. I love this style, the song is pure perfection!

2. we've been loving in silence by MARO

ooooh this one. I don't even think it's possible to describe it in words. lovely rythm, immaculate beat, perfect lyrics. I'm obsessed.

"every crooked line in your back feels like part of me, your story's in my fingers, you'll never wash away"

3. Parasite Eve by Bring Me The Horizon

this month has been such a rollercoaster. emotionally, physically - actually, in every way possible. it was a tough one so I needed the support & energy this song gave me. I bought myself tickets for the BMTH concert this summer and I couldn't be more excited. I explored some of the new music with my bf and we found out another crazy coincidence: when I stopped listening to BMTH (right after that's the spirit) he started enjoying their music. it's all surreal.

4. September by Sparky Deathcap

this song never gets old. the line "we got fire" is on repeat in my head, it gives me such peaceful vibes (even thouh I know the song is not peaceful at all). I love it to bits.

5. i love you by Billie Eilish

I needed a calm song to fall asleep to as I've spent some nights in absolute terror and anxiety. I'm getting worse as we speak & don't know how long will these home-made methods help me out. hopefully, I won't go absolutely insane.

6. Watch The World Burn by Falling In Reverse

similarly to Parasite Eve, I love the energy of this one. I love FIR so much and these new songs are matching my style in music so well. I'm so thankful I found them again. to be honest, this song was sent to me through a group chat message from some new friends. I gave it a chance and fell in love instantly.

7. watch by Billie Eilish

"go ahead and watch my heart burn"

this is such a meaningful song for me. I never thought that one day I'll experience a healthy and "normal" relationship, but it happened & it makes me realize how much of my previous experiences were toxic. the weight of all those years are crazy. I thought of most of Billie's songs as some kind of strange love songs but realizing they never were any of that is an unique experince.

8. So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish by A Perfect Circle

I was brushing my teeth, getting ready to leave my bf's place and he played the usual "getting ready" playlist but a new song occured on it: this one. I fell in love with the chorus and the vibes, I ran out of the bathroom to ask him what the hell the song was & why he never showed it to me before. we laughed a lot that day.

9. ZOMBIFIED by Falling In Reverse

the wake-up song. any time we're sleeping in and we have a hard time waking up, we start playing this gem and it works like a charm. I don't even know if I mentioned it but this new years' eve a friend - who has similar taste in music - played this at 2 am just for fun and I got out of my sleepy mood as soon as it started playing. that was the time I learned this song works, we didn't go home until 5am.

10. Call Me What You Like by Lovejoy

I loved this song so much, streamed it a bunch. my love for Wilbur will never leave my body, I am obsessed! I reread my Wilbur fanfic the past weekend and I'm so proud of it all. I don't think there's anything that's worth my time and energy more than this fandom.:)

[rabbitechoes]

every month I'm gonna try to post reviews of three albums from years past!! this week i wrote about one of the most important and poignant deep house records of all time: Midtown 120 Blues by DJ Sprinkles!!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

Midtown 120 Blues - DJ Sprinkles

◇ release date: Aug. 9, 2008 ◇ genres: deep house, ambient house, microhouse

Few genres are as rooted in both black and LGBTQ+ culture as house music. Originating in Chicago during the late 1970s and taking further shape through the 1980s, house music became the dominating sound of the queer underground. Eventually, as most niche music movements like this do, it went global. Namely with Madonna’s hit single from 1990, “Vogue.” It essentially pushed this sound to the mainstream, leading many to falsely attribute the pop star as a pioneer of the genre. This obfuscation of the genre’s roots is what drives Midtown 120 Blues. A project from Terre Thaemlitz, a musician and activist, under the pseudonym DJ Sprinkles. This album has two main goals. One is to educate those who aren’t aware of the genre’s roots. The second is to make a damn good house record. The end result is an utterly fascinating and hard-hitting album

Terre Thaemlitz, 2009

Uncompromising is a word that comes to mind when describing this record. It’s prickly and confrontational to the listener. I’m sure many were turned off by the borderline lectures Thaemlitz sprinkles (haha) throughout the record. The title track is a history lesson on the genre’s origins over a really solid house track. There is anger here, it sounds like Thaemlitz is begrudgingly educating the listener. It’s as if he laments the fact that he has to be the one to spread this message. Fair play to her as well, it’s a damn shame this stuff isn’t common knowledge. The main message of the song though, is that “House isn't so much a sound as a situation.” One of the most poignant lines ever put to record. Genres are often categorized by sound alone, which makes sense, but that can sort of obscure the human element of it all. It’s more than just categorization, it’s a movement and a damn important one.

Another devastating moment on the record comes in the form of “Ball’r (Madonna Free Zone)” which has Thaemlitz taking direct aim at “Vogue” and the harm it caused to the Harlem ballroom scene. She says; “When Madonna came out with her hit ‘Vogue’ you knew it was over. She'd taken a very specifically queer, transgender, Latino and African-American phenomenon and totally erased that context with lyrics about how "It makes no difference if you're black or white, if you're a boy or a girl." Madonna was taking in tons of money, while the Queen who actually taught her how to vogue was sitting on a table in front of me, broke.” Hearing that for the first time shook me to my core. The sounds on the track also added to that feeling. It feels haunted. Like you’re looking at old photographs of people dancing, laughing, crying, and living – it sends a chill down your spine. It’s like peeking into a bygone era. One filled with joy and communion, yet also a deep sadness. It makes you angry that you can’t be there and dance with them, laugh with them, and hear their stories. It’s impressive how Thaemlitz's words and production elicit these kinds of visceral feelings.

This album is full of rhythms you just get lost in. Especially on “House Music Is Controllable Desire You Can Own” which has this subdued drum beat buried beneath these warbly synths. It progresses as if you’re literally scratching at the surface trying to reveal something more. To a relative newbie to the genre like myself, this album was like a door being kicked down. The production has this smug attitude to it, almost as if he’s like “THIS is deep house, sit down and listen.” The balance between history lesson and celebration of the genre is a tricky one to nail, but I think he manages to do it as well as anyone could. 

Terre Thaemlitz, year unknown

Midtown 120 Blues isn’t the most accessible album which both works in and against its favor. The album is primarily found on CD, which isn’t too much of an issue, but the online stores the album is featured on were confusing to me so I would reckon they’re confusing to others as well. Of course, the album is easy to find if you know where to look (wink wink). Still, this is in line with Thaemlitz's frustration with Deep House entering the mainstream. Midtown 120 Blues is there if you look for it hard enough and I would strongly recommend you seek it out. Ever since experiencing this record for the first time, I’ve been seeking out pivotal songs and albums from the house genre. It’s incredibly fruitful and above all, very enjoyable.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ thanks for reading <3

psssst. i made a discord server called Cosmiacord ... if u wanna join and have fun, talk about music, play fortnite, or whatever here's the invite :3 https://discord.gg/rsHMenTU

[xsugarysweetsx]

(u don't have to write this if you don't want to) May I request some Levi x reader fluff where they're married n have a 3 y/o daughter named kutchel. Levi's wife is 8 months along with their 2nd kid. They're all excited n kutchel just wants to go outside/play. Kutchel tries to drag reader along to play but reader is very exhausted n cant keep up w kutchel but still tries to hide her exhaustion n make her happy. Levi's worried his wife will overexert herself n tries to make both his girls happy😌

A/N: I've noticed that whenever I write dad Levi in a modern setting I always make you a rich man because I know he would be a rich man. It's kind of just an unspoken rule that he would be one

Please enjoy~

*********************************************

"Now I'm not saying anything but you really have to get here soon, You're getting a lil too heavy for mommy" you speak to your unborn baby while you finish up cleaning the dishes. Today was one of your more tired days.

One of those days you felt more tired, the baby felt heavier, and you just wanted to nap. Levi should be home in about 10 minutes so you'll be able to take a nap. Just then your 3-year-old daughter Kutchel came downstairs.

"Mama, will you play with me?" she asked with those puppy eyes you loved

"Play? Oh, baby I..." ugh you hate to see those happy eyes go away if you say no, you sigh and give into her "Alright, we can play for a little bit, go on I'll count and you hide okay?" you said covering your eyes and beginning to count. You hear her giggles as her little feet patter away from you.

"..8, 9...10! Ready or not here I come!" you say as you start to waddle through your home. You hear small giggles coming from Levi’s home office. You smile to yourself as you try and make your way there quickly.

You lean on the doorframe and catch your breath and look around the room. You could see her little feet underneath his desk and you smile to yourself as you mindlessly walk around his office.

"oh I thought I saw her come in here," you say dumbfounded "Mayybbee, behind the curtain? No. Or near the closet? Hm, Kutchel is too good at this" triggering her muffled laugh as you quietly walk to the desk and squat down and cause a squeal and laugh to come again.

"I gotcha!" and she crawls out from her space and jumps up and down. You were going to get up and realized the position you were in......you couldn't get up.

As if a sign from the gods you hear Levi close the door to his car. In the meantime, you tried to get yourself back up on your feet but having a whole new weight in the middle of your body wasn't helping.

"Y/N, Kutchel I'm home!" Levi calls out as he shuts the door "Y/N?" he called out again

"Daddy! Daddy!" Kutchel called out as she runs to her father leaving you to still struggle but halfway up. You didn't even notice the footsteps coming up the stairs as you finally get back up. You were tired and out of breath as you leaned on Levi's desk

"Damn it Y/N, why don't you listen to me when I tell you not to overwork yourself?" he said rushing to you "I know you can't stand on your own, so why aren't you sitting down?" he scolded you gently out of love

"Well Kutchel wanted to play and I just-"

"Couldn't say no to those eyes. I know, but you're too far along to be doing physical activities on your own" he said walking back to the living room and helping you to settle back down onto the couch. With a sigh, you felt your body relax into the and furniture and your feet ache from all the walking and standing.

"Mommy! It's your turn to hide come on!" Kutchel said taking a hold of your hand. Levi crouched down and picked up his daughter to sit on his la as he sat next to you

"Kutchel, do you remember what I told you was inside of mommy?" he asked resting a and on your belly

"mmm, another brat you said?" she said as her answer

"No," he groaned "your mother is carrying your younger sibling inside her tummy making things very hard for her to do so she feels more tired than you and I do." he explained "it's not that we don't want to play with you but we don't want mommy and the baby hurt. If you want, you can wait for me to get home or you and mommy can do things together like painting, or a tea party or watch movies." he offered

"Oh okay, papa. I'm sorry mommy" she said with a sad pout, you pull her into your lap and kiss the top of her head

"Oh baby, I know you didn't mean any harm, it's okay" pulling away from the hug you say "How about you go get your make-up kit and we can give daddy a make-over!" you give her a smile and gasp leaves her lips as she quickly runs to her room looking for her play makeup kit.

"I know I said I'd play with her...by why?" he asked said gently pinching your cheek

"Haha, because you owe and she's been wanting to 'make you pretty. " Levi rolls his eyes and shakes his head "Maybe the next one will want you to dress up with them"

"Yeah yeah brat," he said ruffling your hair

"I hope you're ready papa!" Kutchel said coming back with her makeup kit and a huge smile on her face

"oh gods"

*********************************************

I hope you enjoyed!

[slasher-lovers-blog]

The grabber x reader

~Hidden Heart ~

Warning: violence, kidnapping, angst, fluff (?), blood, knife, cursing, abusive dad

Characters: Max, Albert Shawn aka the grabber, the reader.

•••

You were getting ready go get home, working in the grocery store was hard as it was summer and 30°. Your body felt like it was in a oven as you panted, taking your bag. You said goodbye to your coworkers and went outside; the sun welcoming you outside as no clouds were in the sky. As you walked your normal route to your house, you regretted the parasol that your mother offered. You were 20 and still lived at home, unable to pay for your own house. You had taken this job to earn enough, to move out and have a great life but nothing could prepare what happened later.

Headphones on as you trotted in a calm pace to home, to distracted to notice a black van following you. Everywhere was posters hanging of missing kids. No one knew who this person was or why he did it. Everyone feared to be the next. You sighed as you saw your familiar house, the old oak tree hanging over as leaves were green, the swings standing under it. Your dad builded it when you were 7, it was your birthday present. But now you barely used it as work was more important and going out. It would be weird to swing as a 20 year old, right?

She opened the small gate and closed it behind her as she took her headphones off, putting the MPlayer off. "Y/n!!" Her little sister screamed as she towards her big sister as she entered. "Hey kid" she grinned. Her sister giggled and hugged y/n's legs. "How was school?" Y/n asked. "Great!" The younger yelled before running back to the tv to watch her favorite show. Y/n sighed and headed to the kitchen, dropping her bag on a chair. Mother wasn't at home as dad was working late. 'I'm grocery shopping' was written on a yellow paper. She sighed as she spilled herself some orange juice before heading to her room.

9:00 pm.

Your father came home, in a bad mood. He started to argue about any small thing your mother did, trying to make a fight. Your mother looked tired and tried to ignore him. Your dad slapped her across the face. Y/n and her little sister sat at in her room, listening with scared eyes. Y/n tried to comfort her little sister; distracting her by playing with her dollhouse. It worked untill she went to bed. Y/n headed to her bedroom before hearing her father storm upstairs. "What the fuck you think you going?!" He barked at her. She flinched and sighed. It was no use arguing back.

The next morning, Y/N headed to work earlier than usual, not wanting to hear the whole scene of her father. He always act like he regretted it but he would always do it again. As she headed through the street, a van followed her untill it stopped infront of her. She stopped, wondering why this dude parked awfully. She noticed a man get out, dressed odd. The man wore a hat in the summer, wearing sunglasses and black clothes. His face was painted white or was it makeup? She couldn't tell. "Hello dear, sorry of my awfully parking but I'm in quite a hurry" the man spoke with a kind smile. Y/n blinked before nodding. "Where do you need to be?" She asked. The man chuckled as he told her the place. She explained it as best she could, obviously suspicious of this stranger. Y/n never noticed him before or seen him.

He must have noticed the questionable look on her face as he laughed. "I'm sorry, I'm part magician and this kinda is my outfit for the show, understand?" He explained. Y/N nodded and smiled, reliefed. 'He wasn't the grabber' she thought, oh how wrong she was. Y/N noticed the black balloons in the back of the van. "Oh, are those black balloons? I never seen those before" she said curious. His eyes fell on the balloons and smiled. "Yeah, wanna take a closer look?" He asked her.

First part of the new series!! Hope you like it so far. I just wanted to give the reader a small backstory 😊

[hereformcdonaldshonestly]

This is going to be so CUTEEE!!

Fluff💖

Their Favorite Memory With You

Character x !fem reader, everyone (you and the characters) are aged up!!

(h/c)= hair color, (l/n)= last name

Tenya Iida-

Tenya's favorite memory with you was your guy's wedding day. You and Tenya were inseparable, ever since you two got together in U.A. You two have been together since you both were around 15 and 16 years old, you're currently 24 and 25. It was always known that you guys were probably going to get married, which you always loved the idea of.

It was spring, your wedding day was quickly approaching. The cherry blossom leaves were falling, all different shades of pink and white. It was warm but not too hot, everything was perfect. The beautiful forest behind the venue, there were white benches and the front had this wonderful rock half-wall. The wedding was started, Tenya was at the front with his hands by his side, his brother Tensei as the best man standing next to him. Everyone was seated and waiting, then the melody started playing. It was being played by a piano, and it sounded beautiful. Everyone stood up, then he saw you. He could feel his heart stop, you were wearing a white wedding dress, a ball gown silhouette, and lace towards the bottom. Tenya had a wide smile, he could feel his heart race. Your (h/c) hair was pulled up into a tight bun, with a long veil with lace.

You got to the altar, and the ceremony went on. As it went on, you would sniffle every now and then and you would hear him choke up some. Whenever it got to vows, you almost broke. "Tenya, I'm so glad that I can marry you and spend every day with you. Whenever we first met I didn't realize how much I would love you, but now I know I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. I love you so much and I'm so happy that I can be your wife." You say, tearing up with joy. "(y/n), you motivate me so much to become a better person and hero. I'm so happy to have you in my life, and even happier I get to marry you. You're the love of my life." He said, wiping away a quick tear. Then it finally got to the end, you said your "I do"'s and you were officially married. Whenever you heard "you may kiss the bride!" Tenya immediately grabbed you and kissed you.

Katsuki Bakguou-

His favorite memory would have to be bringing home your first child. Whenever you and Katsuki first moved in together, you never imagined getting married and let alone having a child together. You guys were around 26 and 28, Katsuki being older, and were engaged.

Then you found out you were pregnant, Katsuki was excited but scared. With him being a pro hero he knew that it would be a bit tougher, but honestly, the pregnancy was a breeze, well kind of. Of course, there was the morning sickness, the swollen feet, but you wouldn't trade it for anything. 9 months passed and your sweet baby girl was here, she looked like a mixture of you and him but his genes definitely showed up more. She has a lot of his facial features, his classic red eyes, but had your (h/c) hair and nose. The day you brought Hazuki, meaning leaf and moon, home you both were a nervous wreck. "Babe you can move a bit faster than that." You say laughing, your fiance was currently moving like a sloth, trying not to wake her up. He rolls his eyes and starts going towards her nursery. It was decorated with blush pink curtains, a white crib with a cute flower baby blanket hanging on the side, and her name above the crib. You were making some hot tea, to help with your headache and body aches, and you overheard Katsuki.

"This is your crib, your mom worked really hard to paint it. I know it's a boring color, I suggested something close to explosions but we made a comprise." You smile, he was talking to Hazuki. "Daddy loves you so much, and any boy, or girl, or anyone in general, tries to pick on you or mess with you, I'll kick their butts." You giggled and walk in there, he was rocking her slowly back and forth. "Babe? Put her in the crib so she can sleep, you can talk about kicking butt later." You say while smiling, he frowned, "dumbas- I mean dumb butt, were you listening?" You nod and kiss him. "You're already an amazing father Bakugou." He smiled, like one of those really big smiles full of joy and not destruction. "She's going to beat every kid, and she's going to have an amazing quirk!" He exclaims, you quickly shush him, as Hazuki started to coo slightly. "Now come on, let's go get some lunch and sleep while we can." You say whispering, and giggling a bit. He nods and puts her into her crib gently, and follows you into the living room.

Shoto Todoroki-

Shoto's favorite of you two was definitely when you two first met. It was around 5 years ago, you were at a coffee shop ordering a hot cup of coffee. It was winter, there was white, fluffy snow everywhere. "Here you go ma'am, have a good day." The barista says, you smile and nod, taking your coffee.

You pulled out your buzzing phone, it was your mother calling. She found this puppy in her old neighborhood so she's been updating you all about it. You sigh and start typing, when you do, you run into something. You and the man flew back, coffee went everywhere, and you landed on the floor. Before you look up at see him, you're already apologizing. "I'm so sorry! I should of been paying attention!" You exclaim, embarrassed about not paying attention. You can hear a slight chuckle and see him extend his hand out. You grab it and stand up, you look at him and focus on all of his features. He had half white and half red hair, one brown eye and one icy blue eye, and a big scar on his cheek. You frown, "I'm sorry seriously, I should of been paying attention." You say as you look at his shirt, you gasp. His shirt, his poor white shirt got ruined. "No it's fine, I should of stopped and paid attention." He says, you sigh. "Can I at least buy you another shirt? Or pay for dry cleaning?" He laughs, "no, no it's fine. I have others at home." You laugh a bit and put your phone back into your purse.

"Can I treat you to another coffee?" You ask, trying to make it up. He pauses for a second, "you know what? Let's go get a hot tea, I know this tea shop." He doesn't even give you a second to answer and he starts to walking, you quickly following behind him. At that tea shop you both talked about your lives, you found out his name is Shoto Todoroki, you found out more about his quirk, and even found out he was a pro hero! "It was awesome talking to you Shoto," you say while holding out your hand, "hopefully we can hang out more!" You say with a smile. He smiles and shakes your hand. "Here let me give you my number, and then we can text each other at first." He starts writing his number down and gives it to you smiling, "maybe we can have another day like this." You nod, and from that day on you've been close! A week later you guy's actually went on a date to this restaurant downtown. Now five years later, you both are dating and living together in your cozy apartment. You also have a cat named Gizmo!

Denki Kamanari-

You are Denki have been together for around four years or so. His favorite memory has to be how he recently proposed! The day was hot and you were by the ocean. There was kids laughing, sand castles everywhere, and people surfing.

You and Denki were sitting by the ocean on a light blue beach towel. You were wearing a light green, wrap one piece swimsuit. "Babe come on! You have to go surfing at least once in your life!" He exclaims, you roll your eyes and laugh. "Calm down, calm down let me make sure our stuff doesn't get washed away." You say, standing up. "Hey babe, actually can you do something for me?" You turn around, looking at him. "Can you go and buy a cooler? I know I seen some in the gift shop." You looked at him confused, "a cooler?" He nods, "remember ours broke and plus we have drinks to keep cool!" You sigh and grab your beach bag, "fine, I'll be back." You say as you leave for the shop. As you went shopping, Denki set up and went through with his perfect idea. He has been planning on proposing to you, he even has the ring with him. He's been carrying it around for months trying to plan the best proposal ever. Denki wants everything perfect, just for you. He drew out the words "will you marry me (y/n)?" on the beach.

Whenever you got back, you were furious. "Cooler in the shop my ass, all they had was cringey shirts." You mumble to yourself. You saw his yellow hair and frowned, not seeing the words drawn in the sand. Before you took a step closer, Denki yells out "look at the ground!" It's obviously confused but you didn't really question it. "Huh?" You say while looking down, and then that's when you see it. Your eyes fill with tears of joy, and Denki comes up to you. He kneels down on one knee, holding up a ring. "Will you make me the happiest man and marry me (y/n)?" He asks, you nod your head yes. He smiles and puts the ring on your finger, standing up. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." He says while you hug him tightly. That was the best day for you two, soon as you could and got to your phone, you told everyone.

I hope you liked this! It was so cute to make!

I hope you have a great day!

[terubakudan]

This may be an old article from 3 years ago, but these cultural aspects/observations still apply even today. And though this is strictly a Chinese perspective, a lot of these everyday life bits are observed in Overseas Chinese communities in countries such as The Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, etc. as well as countries heavily influenced by Chinese culture like Taiwan, Japan, and Korea.

I've always liked learning about other cultures and making comparisons between how things are done East vs West. Which probably stems from growing up with two cultures and Mom raising me on American movies xD

So the irony is if you asked me how many Chinese, Taiwanese, or Hong Kong actors I know, chances are I know as much as you do xD Like Jackie Chan, Andy Lau, and that's about it. But if you asked me about Western (specifically American and British) actors, then I have a useless brain dump of movie trivia and who was with who in what movie xD

Hmmm, both Taiwan and the Philippines are two distinct cultures but both look up to a certain country and are fascinated by that. In Taiwan's case, Japan and the US for the Philippines. In both cases, this is due to being under the rule of those countries in their history. Taiwan being under Japan for 50 years, and the Philippines being under Spain for 300+ years, followed by periods of American and Japanese rule. To put it simply though:

Taiwan is "mini-Japan with a very Chinese culture".

The Philippines is "former colony of Spain with lots of American influences".

But unlike the author, I've never set foot in any Western country, so my understandings are strictly what I've observed in media, which while it can be accurate, doesn't compare to actually experiencing the culture.

Some further elaboration on most points:

#1 We quite literally use chopsticks for everything. We use it to pick rice, viands, vegetables, fruit, smaller desserts, almost all the food you can think of.

But where do you put your chopsticks when you're not using them? Just put them on top of your bowl or flat on your plate. But do not ever stick them vertically. It's taboo, since it looks like incense sticks, which we use to pray for those who have passed, like our ancestors or during funerary services.

#3 The majority of Asia is obsessed with fair/white skin. In my time at the Philippines, I grew up watching all these Dove Whitening commercials and my classmates often commented on how fair my skin was, how they envied it etc. In Taiwan, girls often say they don't want to 變黑 (biàn hēi) 'become dark'. Japan and Korea too are not innocent of this either (if their beauty/skin products weren't a dead giveaway).

People here at Taiwan often mistake me for being from Hong Kong or Japan (as long as I don't speak Mandarin with my heavy accent xD). A Taiwanese classmate of mine joked that she often gets mistaken for being from Southeast Asia due to having a darker complexion. And while I laughed it off with her at that time, looking back, I now realize she was lowkey being racist. xD

And believe me Filipinas have mentioned literally being told 'your skin is so dark' here in Taiwan, or being given backhanded compliments like 'you're pretty despite having dark skin' and...*facepalms*

My point is, beauty is not exclusive to skin color. People who still think that are assholes.

#5 Not to say we don't have salt and pepper, but yes soy sauce and vinegar are the classic condiments you see on the table, be it at home or at a restaurant.

And if I may add, Taiwanese love their pepper. xD If you ever get to eat at a night market or a smaller "Mom n' Pop-style" restaurant here, some dishes/soups tend to add quite an excessive amount of pepper. Not like anthills, but quite liberally and way more than average. Enough that you see traces of pepper at the bottom of the food paper bag or swirling in your soup. xD

#6 I know this all too well from personal experience. In my years of studying at Taiwan, I always had roommates. 3 in my first school (I graduated high school in the Philippines pre K-12 so I had to make up 2 years of Senior High), followed by 2 in college, with the exception of 1 in freshman year.

My college did offer single person dorms but at around 9000 NTD ($324) per month compared to around 6000 NTD ($216) per semester. Because I wanted to save, the choice was obvious for me xD. But ah, this doesn't mean I don't value personal space, in fact I love having the room to myself, and since both my roomies would go home to their families every weekend, weekends were bliss for me xD

And you don't have to be friends with your roommates (that's an added bonus however), you just have to get along with them. I was quite lucky to have really great roommates all throughout my schooling years.

#9 In the Philippines, we do. Owing mostly to American influences and maybe being predominantly Catholic? xD

#10 *sigh* Chinese parents and parents from similar Asian cultures tend to put too much emphasis on grades, so much that kids could get sent to cram school as early as elementary. This is because what school you get into could literally affect your future job opportunities, and while that's not exclusive to any particular country/culture, I feel it's especially pronounced here in Asia. I'm really lucky my own parents weren't that strict about it. However, if your parents don't point the mistakes out to you, chances are you'll do it yourself, if you're an Asian kid like me anyway. xD It just becomes a habit.

#11 My family is an exception to this. xD We do say 'I love you' directly, but complete with the 'ah eat well ok?', 'don't scrimp on food', 'sleep well' and similar indirect words/actions of affection. We were doing 'Conceal, Don't Feel' before it became popular. xD

#13 I'm kind of confused about this but this has sort have changed over the years in which eye-contact is now more encouraged. But don't stare, especially at elders and authority figures. Sometimes it's just shyness though. xD And I've observed this with my own Taiwanese friend, especially when I'm complaining or ranting to her about something. xD I'm a person who likes to express my opinions strongly, which tends to scare/alienate some of the locals here, as doing so is kind of frowned upon. Thankfully, she does listen and offers her take on things.

#14 Ah this. xD In the Philippines, this is a common greeting known as beso-beso, and I freaked out too when an auntie did that to me. xD Needless to say, Mom lectured me later on what that was. ^^"

#16 Along with #3 another crazy beauty standard. In my view, people always look better with a little meat on them and when they're not horribly thin. Asia still has a loonng way to go with accepting different types of bodies if you ask me. This combined with modern beauty standards has made the pressure for women especially to 'look beautiful' higher than ever.

I know many people love them but please, starving yourself or glorifying eating disorders is never OK just to get this kind of 'ideal' body. I'm not part of the Kpop fandom, but even I think when idols get bullied just for gaining the least bit of weight among other insensitive comments, that's really going too far.

#17 'If you want to make friends, go eat.' <- I couldn't agree more. In the Philippines we have a greeting: 'Kumain ka na ba?' (Have you eaten?) . Similarly in Taiwan, we have 吃飯了沒? (chī fàn le méi), both of these can mean that in the literal sense but are often used as greetings instead. By then which invitation to having lunch/dinner together may or may not follow. Food really is a way for us to socialize and to catch up with what's going on in each other's lives. Not to say we don't have regular outings like going out to the mall, going shopping, etc. but eating together is a huge part of our culture, be it with family or friends.

And while I'm at it, some memes that are way too accurate good to pass up xD

Parents, uncles, aunties alike will fight over the bill xD

Alternatively:

You just space out until your name is called xD

My parents are guilty of the last one. Logic how? xD

#18 True. xD I like giving compliments out to people but I have a hard time accepting them myself, though I've learnt how to accept them much more now than before. We're kind of raised to constantly downplay ourselves so we often say things like 'ah no no' or 'I'm really not that good'. The downside of this of course is that it can come off as somewhat fake. xD

Again from personal experience, that same classmate who made the lowkey racist remark, she was good, she was on the debate team, was a honor student, knew how to mingle with people, but she downplayed herself way too much, while praising me but I honestly thought that she never really meant it from how she treated me. She wanted to keep me around her yet make backhanded compliments at me and she didn't want me socializing with my other classmate who is now my friend. *sigh* It was only after discussing this with one of my roomies did I realize how this 'excessive downplaying' might come off to people like me who more or less grew up with a more 'Westernized' mindset. I'm not saying brag about your achievements but don't be overly humble about them either, which can also be a turn off.

#20 We do tend to be a lot more realistic on how we view things, neither entirely optimistic nor pessimistic. We try to think of things practically and often analyze things on pure logic. A downside of this however, is that Chinese people can be overly practical. Taiwanese for instance don't like to 'find inconveniences' and generally keep to themselves, meaning, they won't help you in your hour of need even when they do have the capabilities. Sounds really harsh I know, but in my 6 years of living in Taiwan, while this doesn't apply to all the people, a lot of them really do only find/talk to you when they need something.

So for some people saying Taiwanese are 'friendly', that's BS xD If you ask me, Filipinos are infinitely more friendly, and again while not all, generally make more of an effort to help you when you need it. I really felt more of a real sense of community during my years growing up in the Philippines compared to Taiwan.

#21 Children do tend to stay with their parents well into college and adulthood, since Chinese families are indeed very family-oriented, in a lot of cases, grandparents often live under the same roof as us as well! And it really does save a lot of money. I see there's a real stigma in the US when it comes to "living with your parents", but that's starting to change especially because of Covid and having more and more people move back in with their parents.

Housing unfortunately is pretty much hella expensive no matter where you go, and Taiwan is no exception. Steep housing prices and the very high cost of raising a child (schooling + buxiban fees, etc.) contribute to a very low birth rate and thus an aging population like Japan. It's not uncommon to see both parents working in Taiwan.

#23 I'm an overthinker myself, but I totally agree with the author that the best is to strike a good balance between these two. Which I guess is why I love drawing or any other related creative attempts, it helps me be more spontaneous or well, creative! I like to remain intellectually or artistically inspired.

#24 Is French high school really like that? xD My friend did watch SKAM France and more or less got a culture shock from what was depicted on the show. I can confirm however that most high schools both in the Philippines and Taiwan require students to wear a uniform, only in college is everybody free to wear casual/civilian clothes.

#26 Ah this is part of our Asian gift-giving etiquette xD We always open gifts later after the event/meeting and in private. Never open them in front of the person who gave it to you or in front of others. This is to prevent any 'shame/embarrassment' that may result both to yourself and to the gift giver. I know this may come off as something weird since some people may want a more honest response or immediate feedback when it comes to gift-giving, but that's just how it is in our culture. You're always free to ask us though (in private) if we liked the gift or not ^^"

#28 I want to say the same goes to drinking, partying, and drugs however xD Those are things which are still frowned upon in our culture. And to be honest, whenever I see those in movies, it does kind of turn me off xD It doesn't mean that we're "uncool" or "boring", we just think that there are much better or healthier ways of "having fun".

#31 Is this true in France?! Man I would kind of prefer that instead of people being on their phones all the time xD This kind of goes with #20 in that Chinese are overly practical or logical, and don't read fiction as much as nonfiction. My Taiwanese friend is an exception though, she's a bibliophile who loves the feel of paper books compared to e-books, and it's a trait of her that I like a lot. Both the Philippines and Taiwan however have a huge fanbase when it comes to manga and anime though.

I'm all for reading outside of "designated reading" at schools especially. Reading fiction improves your vocabulary too, and can be quite fun! It helps you imagine and really invest in a world/story, and if you ask me something that I feel Westerners are better at, they're more in touch with their emotions and creativity, and are thus much more able to write compelling or original stories. Believe me, I've seen a fair amount of Chinese movies that rip off Western movie plotlines xD

#33 Nothing much to add on here..except that since I'm a "weird" person, Mom often jokes that she got the wrong baby from the hospital. xD

#35 True. While I agree with the care and concern that your fellow community can give you, the downside of this is we tend to only hang out with our own people, e.g Chinese with Chinese, Taiwanese with Taiwanese, etc. I've seen too that it's especially hard to make friends in Japan and Korea as a foreigner. Not only is there the language barrier, but the differences in culture too. In a way, Asians can be pretty close-minded on getting to know other cultures or actually making friends with people from other countries. I know this all too well being half-Taiwanese/half-Filipino, being neither "Filipino" enough nor "Taiwanese" enough. xD It's more of people here being too used to what they're comfortable with.

#36 Oh this is something I feel that Chinese students and other students from similar cultures should really improve on. xD How will people respect you if you don't speak your mind?

I felt bad especially for my Spanish teacher in college, granted it was an introductory course (Spanish I and II) but the amount of times that our teacher had to prompt a student to recite/speak even with clear hints already made her (and me too) extremely frustrated. The thing is, these are college students, I personally feel they don't have any reason to be so shy of speaking and technically by not doing so they're slowing the pace of the class too much and a lot of time is wasted.

Unfortunately you can't always be very vocal with your thoughts and opinions in most Asian cultures. I would say strive for that, but at the same time, play your cards well, especially if you're in a workplace setting.

If you made it to the end, thank you for reading and here's a cookie! 🍪 I'm not perfect and there's bound to be something I missed so please let me know if you spotted anything wrong. Feedback/questions are very much welcome and please feel free to share about your country/culture's differences or similarities!

[farfromsugafanfic]

Sutures - Chapter Ten: Amiodarone

Genre: Soulmates AU, Idiots to Lovers, slight Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Yoongi/Named Reader

Warnings (chapter specific): family member hospitalization, therapy, angst if you squint

Synopsis: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” –Jean de la Fontaine

There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?

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The first thing you felt--before you opened your eyes--was Yoongi's white T-shirt against your cheek and the warmth of his skin beneath it. His arm was around you and his hand rested on the peak of your hip. You opened your eyes and looked up to see his hair splayed across his forehead and his lips pouted.

You smiled as you slowly removed yourself from Yoongi's arms. He stirred as you stood up and were away from his grasp, but he softly moved as he rolled onto his side and his arms reached for where you had once been. You could get used to waking up next to Yoongi every morning. Something about the way he missed you--even when he wasn't awake--made your heart swell.

You quickly pushed those thoughts away as you took two mugs from the table and flipped them right side up. While you were used to cheap hotels with packages of instant coffee and--if you were lucky--an electric tea kettle, this hotel, however, had a full coffee maker and a few coffee brands to choose from. You chose a brand you recognized and placed it in the coffee maker.

It wasn't long before the entire room smelled of coffee. As you were pouring the second cup of coffee, you felt a soft touch on your waist and turned to catch Yoongi's soft smile and messy hair as he reached for one of the mugs.

"Thanks," he said, his voice raspy and deep.

You nodded and took a sip of your coffee and sat down at the table, Yoongi soon following and sitting across from you.

"You like it black?"

"Yeah," you said. "My dad would always drink it black and when I was old enough that's how he made it for me. It just kind of stuck."

"Do you miss them?"

"Of course," you said. "It's hard when they're so far away, but I don't regret staying here. I can make a living here, more so than I could in the US."

"When did you see them last?"

"Around a year ago. Minki came with me and it was the first time he'd been to the US and the first time he met my family. They didn't like him that much. I guess I should've listened to them." You chuckled sardonically and took a large sip of coffee, creating a silence--while not uncomfortable--had a small bit of tension laced in. "What about you? You don't get to see your family much either, right? Being an idol and all?"

The question caused him to sit up straight and meet your eyes before quickly looking back down at the wooden table. "Uh, yeah, we usually see our families a couple of times a year. Usually towards the end of the year and then sporadically throughout. Some see their families more often cause they live near Seoul, but getting to Daegu is hard. We didn't always get along when I first moved, so it was hard for a while."

"Oh," you said. While all families fight and disagree, you couldn't imagine not talking to your family or not having their support. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he said. "We've moved past it. It was a long time ago. We talk more often now and they really want to meet you."

You laughed, not sure if it was from the nerves of thinking about meeting his family or simply because the idea itself was laughable because you weren't in a relationship. "Why? I mean, they know what we're trying to do, right?"

"Yeah," he said. "They're convinced it won't work though. We're soulmates. We'll always come back to each other."

"It's worked before. Pairs of soulmates able to distance themselves and move on. I think we can do it."

"Yeah," he said, his words punctuated by sips of coffee. "Yeah, we can." There were a few moments of silence before he set his mug down and his eyes met yours. "So, I promised you a proper date, but after everything that happened yesterday, do you want to risk going out into the city?"

"Not really," you said. "I don't even want to leave the room. I want to see the city, but it makes me nervous just thinking about going back out there."

Yoongi reached across the table, his fingers brushing over the back of your hand. "I'll bring you back someday when we can properly wander the city."

Your stomach flipped. You knew it was probably just an empty promise and supposed to be comforting, but considering you had just talked about distancing yourselves from one another, it seemed unwise to promise, even something empty and trivial.

---

Two hours later and the two of you were laid on the bed, close, but not touching. Empty plates littered the bedside tables and each of you held a wine glass in your hand. You smiled as you sipped the deep red alcohol and felt as a buzz came over your senses. It wasn't unpleasant, just like a small vibration in your head. The same one that had convinced you to sleep with Yoongi the first time you met him.

"You're sure this isn't too much?" you asked, glancing down at the nearly three hundred dollar room service bill.

Yoongi laughed. "You really don't have to worry about it."

"It makes me feel bad," you said. "Will you let me pay for something later?"

"If it makes you feel better." His fingers glided over the skin of your left hand that rested on the bed, dangerously close to his thigh.

The couple in the movie you were watching kissed and you felt a stirring low in your stomach. It had been so long since you'd felt Yoongi's lips on yours. You knew he was feeling the same way, as he squirmed slightly beside you.

"You feel it, too?"

"Yeah," he said. "We need to try and resist it."

"Didn't the therapist say to try and get through it with mainly friendly things?"

"I think so."

His arm came around you and his skin felt like ice on a sunburn. You nearly let out a moan. You wanted to feel his lips on your neck and his hands on your thighs. The bruising way he grabbed your skin without leaving any bruises. How his hair looked pushed back and the way his lips swelled after even the softest of kisses.

"Yoongi, can--can I kiss you?"

"I don't think that's exactly friendly."

"Just one," you said. "It'll be less than we did last time this happened."

"All right," he said. "But, we can't let it go too far."

You nodded and shifted so that you faced him, the front of your body pressed into his side. His hand came to rest on the small of you back and his lips came to meet yours before you'd fully closed your eyes.

They were soft, like always. You could taste the red wine on his lips and the hesitation as he pushed the tip of his tongue into your mouth. His hand bunched the fabric of your T-shirt and your hands laced in his hair. You never wanted to let go.

Yoongi pulled away first, although his eyes were pained as he did so. He reached up and smoothed your hair back.

"Damn," he said. "If only I'd met you before Jihee."

"Yoongi, you can't mean that."

"Maybe if it was a different time, or if I wasn't an idol, I don't know, but I like to think there's a universe where we work out."

Your lips formed words you hadn't thought of yet when your phone vibrated on the bed beside you. You reached for it and saw it was your mom. It was nearing 9 p.m. in Los Angeles and your mom normally called you just after dinner. 

"I--uh--have to take this." 

---

You walked into the bathroom and answered the phone as you shut the door. 

"Mom? Hey, what's going on?" 

"Sumi!" Your mom's voice sounded panicked. "Are you still in Japan?" 

"Yeah, we're flying back to Korea tomorrow?" You paused. "Is everything okay? You don't usually call me at this time." 

"Well, I don't want to worry you. I want you to enjoy the rest of your time in Japan, okay?"

"Okay..."

"Grandma fell and is in the hospital. She broke her wrist and the doctors say her blood sugar was too low. They don't know what caused it yet, but they're going to monitor her for a few days." 

You nodded and already felt the tears forming in your eyes. Your grandmother was nearing ninety and you knew your time with her was limited, but she'd been the one to encourage you to stay in Korea and do what you wanted. She always knew and wanted what was best for you and you loved her more than anyone for it. 

"Okay," you said, your voice cracking. "Is there anything I can do?" 

"Call when you get back tomorrow. If she's feeling better, I'm sure she'd love to talk to you." 

"Of course. I'll call as soon as I'm back." You reached up and wiped the few tears that had managed to squeeze out. "Just keep me updated."

You heard a soft knock on the door as you hung up the door. You opened it and met with a soft-eyed Yoongi, his arms almost immediately coming to rest on your hips. 

"Everything okay?" 

"Uh. yeah," you said. "My grandma's in the hospital. It's not too concerning at the moment, I just, uh, get a bit emotional when it comes to her." 

He nodded and led you back to the bed. He didn't say anything else, just electing to keep one of his arms around your shoulders and turn the volume on the movie up. He handed you an unopened bag of cookies as if he knew it was exactly what you needed. 

---

A few days later

"So, how are things going?" the therapist asked, her notebook resting on her lap and her glasses slid down the bridge of her nose. 

"Uh, well, we get along better now. I-I think we understand each other better now. But, we've run into something a little more worrisome." 

"What's that?" 

"Well, we had a fight a while ago. I'm fairly close with his other members and one of them was trying to comfort me and when he touched me, I burned him." 

"Yeah, I also have a weird emotional attachment to her. Like, my emotions are tied to hers. If she's sad, then I feel overwhelmingly sad until she's happy again." 

You turned to Yoongi with your lips pursed in curiosity. "What?" 

"Oh, I thought you'd caught onto to that." 

You had noticed that Yoongi had seemed to understand you better recently. He was always there whenever your mood flatlined, you soon found Yoongi coming with a snack or a cup of tea. Sometimes he stuck around and sometimes he didn't, but he never failed to jumpstart your mood.

"Is this happening constantly or only after a conflict?" 

"I'm always tuned into her emotions. However, negative emotions always come through the strongest, whether caused by me or not." 

You felt him looking at you and it caused your cheeks to heat. "Oh, the burning happened twice. Once as we mentioned and the second time I burnt through another's T-shirt, but I didn't actually burn him." 

The therapist nodded and chewed on the end of her pen. "There aren't many precedents for these sorts of things, as you know, soulmates are rare. It's even rarer for a pair to decide they don't want to be together. The physical symptoms we've seen before were not that different from the ones you're exhibiting." She jotted down a few notes and flipped back to a previous page. "Now that you're exhibiting these symptoms though, it means that you've grown to the stage where we can begin to back off the connection.

"The only things you two need to do is to try and minimize the conflict between the two of you, continue resisting urges to the best of your ability, and we will be prescribing some medication. Since such a high profile soulmates case has come up, the interest in research recently has increased and so your medical treatment may change. So, you'll need to go in for a checkup in after about a week on the new medication."

"I have a quick question," Yoongi said. "My, uh, parents really want to meet Sumi. They know we're trying to break this and everything, but we have some time off and I was wondering if that would hurt things if she came with me to Daegu?"

The therapist shrugged. "I don't see why it would. It's perfectly fine for the two of you to act as friends and you have to stay together until the bond is completely severed. However, if something feels off during the visit, leave." 

You looked at Yoongi. He'd left you speechless for the second time during the appointment. He never brought up meeting his parents, only that they wanted to meet you. Your palms went clammy and you began to pick at the skin around your fingernails. You wished you'd brought your needles.

---

"You never mentioned actually meeting your parents," you said, carrying your prescription and ducking into the car before anyone could catch sight of you and Yoongi. 

"I didn't really think it was happening, but, I don't know. If we only have one soulmate, I want them to meet mine."

"Okay," you said. "I-uh-I just don't have much time to prepare." 

"What? Why would you need to prepare?"

"So they'll like me." 

"You don't need to worry about that, Sumi. They'll love you." 

---

Mom (3:45 am): Sumi!

You (3:47 am): Yes? Is everything all right?

Mom (3:49 am): Hey, isn't it early there? Shouldn't you be asleep?

You (3:50 am): It's all right. How's Grandma?

Mom (3:52 am): Oh, she's fine. She's getting discharged now. She's actually in fairly good spirits. You'll never guess what arrived this morning.

Sumi (3:53 am): What?

Mom (3:55 am):

Mom (3:55 am): From Min Yoongi. It made her so happy. Give him our thanks.

[salvatoreschool]

Kaylee Bryant On "Legacies," The Importance Of Queer Rep On TV, Hosie, And More

"I have so many people constantly telling me that watching Josie on the show has made them feel more comfortable in themselves."

This week, Kaylee Bryant squeezed us into her schedule to talk about their role as Josie Saltzman on Legacies. As a huge Josie fan, I couldn't think of a better way to spend a morning than talking to Kaylee about The Vampire Diaries, Hosie, our favorite books, and more! Here's everything we talked about:

1. What was your audition for Legacies like?

My audition process was very interesting because they kept a lot of it a secret. I had no script and a fake character name. And then I had my second audition, a chemistry read, which Jenny Boyd [Lizzie] wasn't even at. I walked in and immediately just flat-out asked, "This is for the twins, right?" So it was long, but short and intense at the same time.

BuzzFeed: Wait, did you know which twin you were going to be playing?

I initially auditioned for Josie, and then during chemistry reads, they started asking me to read for Lizzie. And then we had our final callback where I finally met Jenny and we both read for both roles. They never told us [who was playing who] until Jenny had her appointment to go dye her hair blonde.

2. What's a typical day on set like?

Gosh, it changes every time. If it's a busy day on set, we're talking like 8 a.m. call time where we spend about two hours on hair and makeup and go straight into rehearsals. If it's a big sort of episode that involves stunt work and wire work, you're talking about doing maybe two scenes in a day. But if it's an average day, we can do anywhere from three to five scenes and we can start at 8 a.m. and wrap at 8 p.m. It really depends. I'm surprised if I'm not surprised.

3. You’ve said you’re a huge fan of The Vampire Diaries. Josie played Elena in the musical episode — what was that like?

It was surreal for sure. They had talked a little bit about doing a musical episode since Season 1. And I always thought that they were joking when they talked about doing Salvatore: The Musical!, so when they said Josie would obviously play Elena, I was like, "Hahaha." And then I got the script and realized I actually was playing Elena. The musical aspect of it was the easy part. The difficult part was, I think, getting into the iconic Elena attire and trying to feel normal. Because we have a lot of crew members that worked on The Vampire Diaries, and they kept coming up to me being like, "This is weird. I feel weird."

4. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve filmed with Courtney Bandeko (Finch) this season?

I really did love the scene that we had in the town square [when] we got on a moped. There were so many fans in the town square that were huddled in the rain — it was pouring rain, freezing cold — trying to snap photos of us. And it was kind of one of those surreal moments where it felt full circle, that I was on a Vampire Diaries spinoff in town square. It was a lot going on, but it was a lot of fun. It's always fun working with Courtney.

5. You and Danielle Rose Russell (Hope) also have amazing chemistry — what’s your favorite scene you’ve filmed together?

Oh gosh, we have a lot that are pretty amazing. Honestly, I'd say [Season 3] Episode 14 — we finally got to do a lot more scenes together. And it's always fun, especially when it's Josie, Lizzie, and Hope, because we have so much history character-wise. Any time you really get to dive into that, we love it.

6. I know Josie and Finch are working through some things right now, but I gotta ask — how do you feel about Hosie?

I love it. Danielle and I loved the idea of Hosie starting from Season 1, and we kept asking and asking and asking for it. So it's kind of funny and full circle that now the fans have kind of taken our side with things, and now they won't stop asking for it. All we want is this beautiful, dynamic relationship. And I think that the fans want that as well.

BuzzFeed: Yeah, I mean, people have even been asking me about Hosie, and I don't work on the show!

Oh, I'm sure! [Laughs] Obviously I love it, though.

7. Is there a particular Josie moment you’re really proud of?

Josie has a scene coming up in Episode 18 — or 19? — I don't know, but it's good. It's sort of the pinnacle of everything that Josie has felt over the past three years kind of culminating into one moment. So, I'm excited for people to see it.

8. You recently came out as queer. How has playing Josie, who’s pansexual, impacted you personally?

I felt a lot of pressure when I initially booked Josie because I was still figuring out who I was and what my label was. And playing a character who was so comfortable in who she was, it was inspiring [to me] in a way that I think a lot of other people watching the show have been inspired. I have so many people constantly telling me that watching Josie on the show has made them feel more comfortable in themselves. It's kind of amazing that we all have the same experience in that having queer representation makes you more comfortable.

9. You’ve been vocal about your Asian identity, and your character has spoken Japanese on the show. Did you have a hand in incorporating that into Josie’s character?

No, not at all! So, I spoke Japanese a few times on the [Instagram] Live and one of our writers, Penny Cox, saw me speaking Japanese and immediately went to Brett [Matthews] and was like, "We need to make this happen somehow." And then all of a sudden, I had a script in my hands. So it was a surprise, but a fun one.

BuzzFeed: Are you fluent in Japanese?

Gosh, no! I'm barely fluent in English. [Laughs] I would say I speak at the level of maybe a second-grader on a good day, though.

10. If you could pitch any storyline for Josie, what would it be?

I always joke that I want an episode that takes place overnight. That way, we all have to be wearing pajamas the entire episode. I just want to wear some comfy clothes for a whole two weeks, that's my main goal. So we can have a pajama episode, that's my pitch.

11. What's it like getting into character for Dark Josie scenes?

It's different in the sense that I know Josie so well. And knowing Josie in turn makes me understand Dark Josie. I have a whole different playlist of music that I listen to for Dark Josie — and I have the wig, which helps a lot with getting into character.

BuzzFeed: Well, now I have to ask what music is on that playlist!

I think "Bury a Friend" by Billie Eilish is a great one for Dark Josie. Also, "Villain" by K/DA is a prime example of a perfect song for Dark Josie, so I listen to that one as well.

12. What's your go-to Starbucks order?

Plain black iced Americano. Aria [Shahghasemi, who plays Landon] says I drink coffee like a sociopath. [Laughs]

13. What TV show are you currently binging?

I just finished watching Alice in Borderland, which is a Japanese show on Netflix. And I know Feel Good Season 2 just came out, so I think that's my next binge.

14. Damon or Stefan?

Stefan! They're both beautiful and I love them very much, but I'm Team Stefan when it comes to Elena.

15. If you could work with anyone from The Vampire Diaries, who would it be?

Ian Somerhalder has a lot of dogs. So, maybe I want to work with him for the sole reason of just talking about dogs. [Writer's note: Kaylee revealed she has two rescue dogs, one whom was sleeping right next to them during the interview! Kaylee described the dogs as "both complete and total nuts," but said she misses them about five minutes after getting into the car to go to work.]

16. Do you think you’re most similar to Josie, Lizzie, or Hope in real life?

I would say I'm an eclectic mix of the three. I can be very headstrong like Hope, very outspoken like Lizzie, and I try to be as loving as Josie, but sometimes that doesn't always work. But I'd like to think all three.

17. Is there a role people would be surprised to learn you auditioned for, but didn't get?

I've been auditioning since I was eight, so there's quite a few Disney Channel shows and movies. And I'm sure people would be surprised because I think I auditioned for like, all of them. It's very funny, one of the first jobs I ever booked in television was Kickin' It with Leo Howard [Ethan]. Talk about full circle — going from being 12 years old and having no idea what I'm doing to being a series regular on [Legacies] and welcoming Leo to the set.

18. Who's your favorite Disney princess?

Oh, I love Mulan so much. She was, like, my first crush ever. I also love Moana, but it's Mulan 1,000%.

19. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I mean, I do eat rice every day. So maybe just white rice — you can make rice into candy and...yeah, let's go with rice.

20. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could only bring one book, what would it be?

Oh no! I recently read The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers, and I really enjoyed that book. Oh god, Is that the one that I want to bring, though? I mean, I really enjoyed it and it has many different aspects to it. I don't know. Or should I go with Harry Potter? I go through different genres too, like right now I'm in a big sci-fi phase, but other times I'll go the opposite direction and only read biographies. Yeah, that's super hard. I don't think I would know!

21. On that note, what's your Hogwarts house?

Initially, when I was younger, it used to just be straight-up Slytherin. And now, I recently took the Sorting Hat Quiz and I got Ravenclaw. So I'm going to go with Slytherclaw.

BuzzFeed: What's Josie's house?

Josie would be Slytherin. She tries very hard and, you know, not everyone in Slytherin is evil. She just, you know, has her way of going about things.

22. Has anything super funny or embarrassing happened to you on set?

I trip a lot on set. I get scared very easily — if I come around the corner and somebody is walking the other direction, I get scared. Everybody knows to walk slowly around me because I get scared so easily.

23. What's your wildest fan story?

I've had people cry before. And I'm an empath, so if somebody starts crying, I immediately am like, "Please don't cry, because I'm gonna cry." And then it turns into this whole thing. Once we were shooting in the town square and this young girl with her mom started crying, and I just hugged her and I didn't know what to say. So there's a lot of that. There's also the occasional, "Where's your twin?" and...I don't have one, sorry! But yeah, I would say the people who cry always throw me for a loop.

24. How do you unwind after a long day?

I have an hourlong drive home from work, so I usually listen to a lot of music. And by the time I get home, taking off all of my makeup is very therapeutic. Because over time, we're working 13-hour days, 16-hour days, and it's just powder constantly building up on my face. So, washing my face is always very therapeutic. And then just laying back and reading a book and petting my dog is the best.

25. Is there a celebrity you get told you look like a lot?

Most recently, Sara Waisglass [from Ginny & Georgia and Degrassi]. We follow each other on social media now and I completely messed up because I don't know how Twitter works at all. I forgot that there's a DMing interaction, so we followed each other and I was like, "Oh, that's nice." And then just recently, I saw that she had messaged me being like, "We're twins! We should be friends!" And I immediately messaged back, "I'm so sorry, let's be friends!"

26. Who's your biggest celebrity crush?

Oh, I have so many. But consistently since I saw Orphan Black, Tatiana Maslany. Hands down.

27. Finally, have you ever caught someone watching a TV show or movie that you're in on a flight or anywhere else?

We were all, as a cast, flying to — was it New York Comic Con, or San Diego Comic Con? — one of the Comic Cons. And we were all sitting there and we saw that Legacies was actually on the airplane as an option. And we were all just uncomfortably staring at each other. Yeah, that was surreal.

Be sure to catch Kaylee in Legacies, which airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET on The CW!

[cocobutnochanel]

A Dream Too

Genre: angst, drama, romance, flashbacks, exboyfriend!Baekhyun

Main Characters: Byun Baekhyun x Reader (oc: female)

Warnings: profanity, mature themes

Summary: Love or career, people always ask. When your ‘successful’ self crosses paths with the love of your life again, you’ll see another woman live your ‘dream’. 

Word Count: 2.5k+ words

'How do you truly move on?'

You ask yourself for the nth time today while waiting for the 20 minutes to pass you by so you can finally go home. Back to that thought, it was really confusing for you. You had no idea if you had moved on or just forgot. Or maybe, those wounds were just buried and no longer to be seen but nonetheless, still there.

"How do you move on?" You ask Dr. Kim who just entered your office, his tiny head peeping from the door's tiny crack. "Before you drift to your throughts again, you have a patient waiting. Your shift ain't over yet." Minseok, your friend since college and now colleague, calls the patient inside.

You sit straighter and clear your throat. A woman your age walks in with a three year old girl in hand.

You smile brightly at the child and her mom. "Hi, doc." The familiar little girl in pigtails waves shyly at you. "Hi, babe." She blushes at your usual nickname for her. This was the third time you have her over and you find her so adorable. She's so shy.

The woman your age hands you the file for them that was forwarded by the nurse. "Sorry to disturb you, doc. Areum is here to see you again." She laughs nervously as her child only bows in shyness. You put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. "Don't worry about it, ma'am. She's my favorite." You smile at the shy mother too. Probably where the little girl inherited it from.

Scanning the file, the child is said to have fevers. You remember too that three weeks ago, Areum came because of a fever. You take a thermometer to measure the child's temperature. "Kindly face the side, sweetie." You coo at her and she obliges in a second.

You sanitize the tympanic thermometer before putting it in her ear. While it hasn't come back with results, you ask her mother about how the child is. This happens so naturally. It was basically a routine. This was your dream.

"So since when did she have this fever?" You ask Areum's mom who was rubbing her child's back while you hold the thermometer in her ear. "Two days ago. Her immune system is really weak." She sighs sadly, looking at her kid with pitiful eyes.

You take out the beeping thermometer. Your eyes skim over Areum's temp, 39.2°. "How are you feeling then, Reummie?" You ask her while sanitizing the thermometer before putting it back.

You pick up the stethoscope around your neck. "Come here, babe." You say softly to Areum who willingly follows. You listen to her heartbeat and everything was pretty normal. The fever was the only thing bothering the child.

“Is there anything bothering you right now?” You frown a little at the little girl’s tiny grimace. 

"Headaches." She mutters under her breath. You nod at the kid's answer. "Do you have cough? Some other sickness?" You ask her again, a pen in hand to take note of what the child's answer could be.

She shakes her head at your question. "Just fever." Areum's mom smiled sadly when she answered.

"Since you've been getting on and off fevers ever since, we will just assume for now it's because of the weather. It’s been snowing hard, Areum needs to put more clothes on." You advice while jotting down the prescription for Areum after checking her heartbeat.

"Just take what I usually recommend. Also, her vitamins and diet should be more monitored, ma'am. Her water intake too." You say that without looking at her mom but you know she's nodding and listening.

Areum’s mom was exceptionally beautiful. She was an exact opposite of her but you admired her tremendously. You admired her strength and courage. It wasn’t easy to be a housewife and a very hands-on mom like her. God knows you would never do that for someone. 

Speaking of that, you never truly did. Your passion for medicine and science was always greater. Well, you thought so.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you sign at the bottom and hand the paper to Areum's mother. "If she still has fever until the end of the week, bring her back so we can run some tests on her." You say as she nods at everything you say. You hand her the prescription and she happily takes it.

"Thank you so much, doc." She smiles at you gratefully as she stands up. "Let me walk you out." You stand up yourself too and pick up your belongings that were prepared beforehand.

You hold Areum's hand as you three walk out of your office. Passing by the nurses' table, you log yourself out of your shift and finally proceed walking with Areum to the parking lot.

You see her reserved demeanor even grow when people and patients were around. She was an exact opposite of you, you think again. You were independent, confident and hungry for your career ambitions while she bowed a little too low. Women could be insanely different but still, her choice astounded you. It takes a lot of strength to be gentle, you ponder.

"Where are you going after, doc?" Areum's mom inquired when you entered the elevator for the basement parking, stopping you from getting lost further in your thoughts. "Just home." You press Basement 1 with your free hand as Areum held the other.

"There's a boyfriend waiting then?" She asks you with a shy smile, trying to make conversation. "I don't even have time for sleep. I can't imagine having one." You laugh at her question.

Wildly, you wonder back to your earlier thought. Maybe if I didn't become a doctor, I'd be a mother like her too. But I chose my dream.

You snap out of your thoughts and ask her back. "How about you, ma'am?" The elevator pinged and opened. "My husband's just picking us up to go home." She smiles with content as if her husband was everything. You kind of wished you had that too.

Well actually, you had it. But you lost it too.

Before you could part ways with the shy kid and her even shyer mother, a black sedan pulls up in front of you.

A familiar man in a suit gets out, a face you know too well. "Appa!" You smile at Areum who was now running to the dapper man. Despite being sick, Areum was still excited to see her dad. Areum's mom walks over to the driver too and you finally look up.

You lost your breath the moment you recognized his face. It was him. The reason why you had asked such questions to Minseok. His face alone brought you the memory.

(flashback)

You wanted to bang your head against the desk as you skim over the Macleod's Clinical Examination for the nth time today. Nothing was going your way today. Med school was stressing you out, giving you a maximum of 9-hour sleep a week.

You hear some noise from your living room. You decide to take a study break and finally head out of your study. You haven't seen your boyfriend for a week despite living in the same apartment.

Despite his schedule being loose as a freelancer, your med studies were enough to stop the two of you from seeing one another.

You turn the doorknob and see a surprising scene in front of you. "W-What is this?" Your voice broke at the sight of Baekhyun and his luggage. His eyes were red and framed with dark circles. He looked sad and tired.

"I'm moving out." He states the obvious, sitting down on the sofa with a troubled face. "Why?" Your voice cracked again as it sounded so much like desperation and shock.

"You don't even have time for me." He mutters softly, obviously trying to stay calm. You were shocked at what he said. He loved you the most, he supported you the most. How could he not understand that this was your dream? How could he not understand that this isn’t forever? How could he demand so fucking much?

You fall to your knees weakly as tears in your eyes threatened to spill. "It's not your fault. I'm not even forcing you to choose me, Y/N. B-But, I can't live like this. Not anymore." He huffs out as if it was a burden he had carried ever since.

"I know it's not my fault, Baek! Hell, you're making me feel bad for chasing my dream!" You cry in hopelessness. "I'm sorry." He whispers, meters away from you.

Tears have finally made way to your face as internal pain enveloped your being. "It's just that- I can't be with someone who doesn't have time." He tries to say it again as if it's gonna make things better.

"Is it really going to be worth it? Us breaking up over this?" You didn't want to beg but God knows you've spent half your life with this man, dreaming of spending the rest of it with him. Was he really not for you? 7 years just going down the drain because you didn't have enough time?

"Am I not enough, Baekhyun?" You ask once again when he falls silent, his face in his hands. "Am I not a reason enough for you to stay?" You were disgusted at how you were on your knees, begging a man to stay.

His face was filled with sorrow as his eyes avoid meeting yours. You suddenly remember that he was the same boy who loved you unconditionally with endless patience seven years ago.

"Byun Baekhyun, I have loved you ever since I saw you that day when you laughed out loud in front of the class while introducing yourself in fifth grade." You recall an image of the boy you have loved ever since. "Tell me, don't I love you enough?" Your lips were trembling.

"I'm sorry." Baek mutters again, making you cringe at his words. "Stop apologizing, for fuck's sake, Baekhyun! I’m asking you! Am I not fucking enough?" You explode in anger, tears and pain.

"Seven years..." You whisper to the air. It felt like it was just yesterday when you two were in high-school and in love. How did it end like this? How did it end just because of time. How could he not understand? "Don't you want me to reach my dreams?" You ask him again, tears streaming down your face.

He closes his eyes shut as tears started racing down his face too. It was at that moment you realized that you weren't the only one in pain. He was too.

Like how you are breaking right now, he had suffered in silence too. He saw how consumed you were, thinking he was no longer important in your life. He saw how this relationship made it hard for you to concentrate too. He saw how he slowly faded in your ‘dream’.

But still, it broke you knowing that you hurt him this bad. It broke you knowing that the pain was too much, he had to disappear.

Your world crumbled in front of you as he stood there in pain, determined to leave. He was your first love. He was your everything. How could something so beautiful end like this?

"I'm not forcing you to choose me, Y/N." He says painstakingly, sorrow and loneliness in his voice. The aching pain in his heart was now double as he sees you on your knees.

"Will you be happy?" You ask the love of your life as he held his things in his arms. He only nodded with gritted teeth, knowing it’d be hard for him too.

That was it. The sign you needed. You were gonna let him go. You loved him too much, you couldn't imagine letting him suffer even more. You would always wish for his happiness. So you take a deep breath and nod back at him too.

For the last time, he speaks to you. "I'm not forcing you to choose me because I'm holding you back. So reach your dreams, Y/N. Reach it without me, doc." He stands up and finally departing for good, leaving you broken and your questions unanswered.

Today's Byun Baekhyun looked no day older than he did the moment he left the apartment you two shared. The supposed life you two were going to have.

"This is Dr. Y/L/N, she's Areum's doctor." Areum's mom happily links his arm with Baekhyun, snapping you out of your momentary flashback. A soft 'oh' falls from his lips as a lump forms in your throat in silence.

You couldn't breathe. Your world stops like it just did six years ago while you were on your knees and on the floor of the same shared apartment. You weren't over him at all. Moving on meant completely being fine. But despite six years flying out the window since he left, he still had that effect on you. He still left you breathless like he did in fifth grade with his hearty laugh.

"You made it, doc." He gives you the same smile he had way back when he confessed that he had a crush on you in seventh grade. Your lungs constrict at the nickname and you couldn't say a word.

His eyes shone with adoration and love that was once for you. "Yeobo, do you know her? She's a very good doctor." Areum's mother cheered, her daughter nodding in agreement too.

You see him pick Areum up in his arms. Now, the little kid resembled him a lot. It made sense, you know. He was now with a girl who could only see him in the future. He was with a woman who loved him enough to give up on her career. How could you not notice?

"Appa, I'm hungry." Areum murmured against her father's shoulders. Baekhyun rubs his daughter’s back as Areum’s mom places a chaste kiss on her husband’s lips. Tears pooled in your eyes as a familiar pain spreads in your chest. 

"I-I better get going." You stammered, feeling abandoned all over again. You knew you were going to cry if you stayed one more second with them.

He had moved on. He had a family. While you, on the other hand, are still stuck over something that happened years ago.

"Do you know her? Is she okay?" You can hear Areum's mother pry to her husband once again. Husband, your heart ached at that thought.

Before you were out of earshot, you hear Baekhyun's answer to his wife's question that makes you want to run back home and cry. Everything finally made sense. You weren't happy despite reaching your dream. It wasn’t complete. You still pondered over moving on. You still wondered how he was. But right in this moment, you realize it.

"Just an old friend, yeobo." No, Baekhyun, you were my dream too.

[altheterrible]

This came up in my Facebook memories from 2008. Thought it would be fun to do it again almost 15 years later.

1) What should we call you?

Al the Terrible

2) Have you ever showered with someone?

not in any way that was remotely enjoyable.

3) Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for?

Lol no

4) Are you a male or a female?

Female

5) Was last New Year's Eve enjoyable?

Not really. It was a struggle to stay up until midnight.

6) Are you high?

Unfortunately, no

7) McDonalds or KFC?

They offer totally different products. Generally I'll choose McDonald's though.

8) Burger King or Wendys?

Wendy's, I guess. They have better nuggets.

9) Target or Walmart?

Meijer, usually. I mean, I'm there all the time anyway.

10) What time is it?

2:13 AM

11) Would you ever become a vegetarian?

I hate vegetables, is the thing. So probably not.

12) What is your desktop picture?

SPACE!

13) Can you swim well?

Not at all. Having only one functioning lung makes swimming pretty hard for me, and dangerous to boot. I don't float very well.

14) Would you rather go to Tokyo or Paris?

Hard pass on both. Japan has serious issues with misogyny and France has issues with snobbery.

15) Do you have a guitar in your house?

Yes, a bright orange electric guitar. I also have a blue electric bass.

16) Are you listening to music right now?

Nope, might turn some on though.

17) Who else is in the room with you?

Sev the Cat is asleep on my rocking chair.

18) How long can you go without your phone?

Oh, roughly 32 seconds. I'm a dopamine addict.

19) Do you have any enemies?

None who are aware they're my enemies.

20) What last made you sad?

A billboard for a pet cremation service.

21) Is the person you last kissed younger than you?

He was 14 years old, small, with black fur, yellow eyes, and four legs.

22) Last person talked to on the phone and what did they say?

My doctor's office, I was trying to get them to call in a refill for a med.

23) What is your favorite commercial you've ever seen?

The one I've watched the most is probably the KISS Pepsi commercial. I was obsessed as a teenager.

24) Who last grabbed your ass?

Some drunk creep at work. Love working nights.

25) Do you eat raw cookie dough?

Shamelessly.

26) Don't you hate it when the radio ruins songs by over-playing?

My job plays like the same 25 songs over the PA, most of which I've never listened to voluntarily but nevertheless know all their words.

27) How do you eat oreos?

Generally I don't, but when I do I like to dip them in milk.

28) Are you cocky?

Lol no. I have no faith in my own abilities and will be the first person to express doubt about my capabilities.

29) Could you live without a computer?

I very rarely use an actual computer anymore, mostly I use my tablet.

30) At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real?

Wait, he's not?

31) What do you do when you're sad?

Do things to make myself even more sad, to the point that it's ridiculous how dramatic I'm being, and I can laugh about it.

32) Who would you call first if you won the lottery?

my sister

33) Is anyone on your bad side now?

I don't have a bad side, I'm a friendly, happy, kind person 100% of the time.

34) What's the first thing you do when you wake up?

Take my morning meds.

35) Will you keep your last name when you get married?

I was thinking if I ever get married, I'll use the opportunity to choose a new last name. I'm a fan of MacKenna

36) Do you return your cart?

Sometimes. Sometimes I put it directly behind someone else's car to be a dick.

37) What brand are your pants/shorts right now?

I think I got them at Walmart, they're really ugly gray sweatpants

38) What irritates you most on the internet?

Videos that autoplay with sound. God, is there anything more awful?

39) Do you like sushi?

I've never had it, but I don't like it as a concept.

Gonna tag people who should do this because I think old fashioned surveys need to come back. @wardinpanties @severinw93 @lifewithchronicpain @theresnocureforcuriosity @westgateoh do it and tag 5 people!

[puppyclover]

i'm gon do @lilstrawbunnie's "31 days of agere" (link) except that i'm just gon answer all the questions in one post because i'm bad at doing things over a period of time. i'm mostly doin this for myself! it will be put under the cut, it will be long and i might talk more personal stuff but it shouldn't be anything venty or child-unsafe.

1: what age(s) do you regress to?

it ranges from toddler age to kid age! its usually 3 - 8 years old but i'd say generally i'm around preschool age. most of my interests are for that age group too.

2: are you also a pet regressor? what animal?

i don't know if i do any animal regression kind thing, so i would say...not right now! i used to be a puppy regressor and i regressed to bernese mountain doggy. i still resonate with them!! but not enough to regress to one or anything. i resonate with rodents and cats more than puppies, anyway.

3: how many stuffies do you have?

i don't feel like counting, but not a lot. im happy with the ones i have though, it would be nice to have more but its ok! i'm slowly getting more and more as time goes on! my favorite is my build-a-bear chase!! he make me happy and safe.

4: do you have a caregiver?

do fictional ones count? i have several characters that i wouldn't mind taking care of me. for example, i think ryder from paw patrol would be a great older brother! but outside of that, unfortunately no, although i kinda need one...it would only be someone i trust lots.

5: what’s your favorite cartoon?

paw patrol!! it's a special interest of mine!! i also love spongebob, daniel tiger, bob the builder, the backyardigans, and others.

6: whats your favorite color?

green!! but i also really really like yellow and blue. otherwise i love the whole rainbow. orange also very nice, it reminds me of fall :>

7: do you have any favorite little foods or snacks?

hmm...i tend to like chicken nuggets when little! i also love fast food in general, but other than that i really love finger foods in general. i should rly eat healthier in tiny mode and in general ;-;

8: how long have you been regressing?

technically i've done it for a very long time. when i was 9 - 10 i would feel ashamed for watching preschooler shows, for example. i've only been calling it regressing and been apart of the tumblr community for a year now (this isn't my first age regression blog)

9: have you even been to build-a-bear?

i almost did when i was little and went to a mall...but then i saw super little kids there and felt foolish for even wanting to go. but now i don't care what others think and i would love to go to one now!

10: do you have any pacis?

not yet, i would like one though! i wouldn't mind just a simple one or one with my favorite characters on it. i'd really like one with my favorite colors (green, blue, yellow)

11: what makes you instantly small?

a couple things. including sesame street and paw patrol...and also just kid stuff in general can. it depends. i usually only partially regress so i'm able to handle "big kid" stuff at the same time.

12: what’s your favorite song to listen to when small?

i usually don't listen to music when small but the smile song by pinkie pie makes me feel like everything will be ok (not the scary version)

13: when was the last time you regressed?

i'm partially regressed while doing this if that counts. otherwise i've been able to regress fairly often recently. life's been tough and its making me just wanna be little and laugh to my comfort shows.

14: what’s your favorite agere item?

probably my b-a-b chase but i also have a spiderman toothbrushing set that makes me feel small every time i brush my teeth :3

15: do you keep an agere journal?

it would be fun! but i've tried before and its been hard to commit to it, plus i'm not always regressed. maybe i could do a journal that i only update when i'm tiny! i'll think about it.

16: does anyone irl know about your regression?

my real-life friends know and my real mom is kinda aware of it since i'm pretty open about my interest of childlike stuff to her. i always feel like i'm annoying people with it though :<

17: what’s your favorite nickname?

i like being called a lil buddy! it makes me feel like like a kid immediately! i also don't mind being called kiddo or baby.

18: do you have any agere friends/sibbies?l

i don't have any immediate friends who regress, unless they just like the aesthetic :( but i hav buddies i would consider sibbies.

19: what’s your favorite juice?

my name should be a giveaway :) i also love orange and grape juice.

20: do you wear/want to wear diaps?

this is vewy personal but i kinda need them because i have potty issues. it would probably make me feel small also :) its a shame diaps are associated with innapropiate stuff though...

21: why do you regress?

lots of reasons. like i said earlier i've been regressing since around age 9, when i started feeling ashamed for liking little kid stuff but i'm slowly overcoming that shame. it also just helps me cope with stuff that has happened in my life...things got really bad around ages 9 - 13 and i just wanna go back to when i was tiny and happy :(

22: what agere items do you want?

i want pacis, lots of toys, diaps, blankies, and other stuff like that. especially stuff with comfort characters on it! i also really like baby and toddler toys and would like some. a onesie dedicated to an animal i like might be nice!

23: do you have a comfort character? who?

i have a few! my top tiny favs are chase, rex, rubble, and rocky from paw patrol, spongebob, woody and jessie from toy story, ernie from sesame street, luca paguro, and daniel tiger!!

24: what’s your favorite agere activity?

watching stuff that make me feel small, along with reblogging stuff to this tumblr. oh and also drawing/coloring sometimes!

25: how often do you regress?

sometimes its for months at a time, sometimes i don't regress for a while. i always end up going back to it though, i usually don't have a choice in the matter, which I'll talk more about in the next question.

26: do you regress voluntarily, involuntarily, or both?

it's hard to tell which sometimes...i do both though! it leans towards voluntary, however its hard for me to fully regress without a caregiver and without the proper environment. i have neither :(

27: do you have a favorite agere account?

i'm not sure if i do, but if i had to choose it would probably be @/autistic-bird-beeps along with @/sillyrainbowpup, @/my-lil-playhouse, and @/porcoelho !! there's lots more than that but those are what popped into my head right now.

28: what would you pack in an agere bag?

some pacis, little activities like a coloring book and pack of crayons, yummy snacks like goldfish crackers and fruit gummies, one of my favorite plushies along with tiny play figures i can fidget with, some applejuice boxes, small fidget or chew toys, a little blankie, and something scented to help me relax and ground myself if needed!

29: you are a baby, toddler, or big kid regressor?

me's a toddler and kid regressor! i never regress to baby-age but i usually stick around the age where, while i still have some of my own independence, i still really need love, attention, and care.

30: do you follow any rules? what are they?

i've tried establishing rules for myself but i'm rly bad at following them. they would be non-strict and general self-care rules and i would need the help of a caregiver to help me with ensuring i do them.

i wouldn't mind being disciplined, but i don't think i'd be ok with punishments unless i did something reallyy bad. even then, i'd rather have someone i can talk out my mistakes with rather than someone who would just shame me.

i know a caregiver isn't necessary in age regression but i'm bad at being my own caregiver. it's a big reason i only partially regress right now, since being my own carer involves somewhat staying in big-kid brain simutaneously.

31: describe the perfect little day!

i think i will indulge in this one more than i have the other questions since it seems to be prompting it!

~~~

my perfect little day would start with me waking up to my favorite cartoons and my caregiver gently nudging me out of bed to start my morning self-care routine. after that, we would eat breakfast together while watching tv or just chatting with each other!

after that, we would plan to go to th park! because it would be a bright sunny day! i would get out of my jammies and find some nice clothes that are kiddie and bright but wouldn't bring attention to me in public. a cute t-shirt would be enough for me! i would bring a bag like i described in question 28 and we would make our way to th park!

there i would love to walk around and look at scenery and bugs, and of course swing on the swings and play! my caregiver would make sure i drink plenty of water while being outside and give me a couple snacks if i needed it. around noon, playtime would be over and he would take me to a fast food restaurant for lunch! we wouldn't eat fast food a lot but it would just be an every-once-in-awhile thingy.

after lunch, it's time to go to the store, and my caregiver already knows that i will go straight to the toy isle and stay there a while! and of course kindly ask for any toys i would reallyy want. fortunately, he would be patient and lovingly buy me a couple things if i really wanted it!

now it's time to go home and relax for the afternoon. we would sit in the living room and watch a movie or two to pass the time! if i was exhausted from the time out, i would grab a plushie from my room then have a little nap on the couch with my caregiver right next to me, making sure i'm safe and ok.

when naptime is done, i want to play games! i go to my bedroom and get really comfy and i either find something i can play myself or a fun multiplayer game to play with my caregiver. we unwind and have lots of fun! i also like to play with the toys in my room, and especially with the new ones i got from the store earlier!!

we do lots of fun stuff until evening! as the sun sets, a storm is starting to form. that's okay though, storms don't scare me unless they're very very intense. rain is still pattering against the roof and there's the occasional rumble of thunder, but it's not enough to make me feel scared or anything.

my caregiver makes a healthy but filling dinner and we eat while watching youtube videos. after that, it's getting late. my caregiver helps me pick out and put on pajamas and we start our night-night routine. after my teeth are brushed and my bedroom is ready for bedtime, my caregiver picks out a book to read to me. as he reads, i still feel the rain falling against the roof, and i feel at peace. i feel myself drifting into slumber to his gentle voice...

~~~

this is based on a perfect casual day! not much happens, but just having someone caring like that would make any day magical and adventurous.

dis was really fun!!

[dollyshaw]

The Thing About Rain: An Adrienette Story (Part 1)

In which our heroes are introduced.

To say it rained that day would be an understatement.

From the moment Marinette Dupain-Cheng woke up, water poured from the sky, creating an unforgiving fog that prevented even the sharpest eyes from seeing so much as their hand in front of their face.

Marinette was no stranger to rain. It had never bothered her before, as many of her favorite memories came from the rain.

It was the rain that brought her the love of her life, though he may not know his status to her. It had hardly been seven years since Marinette stood outside her college waiting for the rain to subside, and in his innate kindness, supermodel and fellow-classmate, Adrien Agreste stopped to give Marinette his umbrella. He would go on to regard that encounter as a simple act of kindness to a friend. She would regard that moment as the moment she fell head-over heels in love with her classmate.

It was rain that set the scenes in many of her encounters with her best-friend and superhero partner, Chat Noir. She fondly remembered late night patrols with her leather-clad kitty, racing the rooftops of Paris as the rain wet her face. When she needed a happy memory, she thought back on how Chat Noir would vault from a balcony to a puddle claiming that he would make the bigger splash. The years may have passed and opponents may have become more fierce, but she and Chat Noir, no matter how old they'd become, would always have their rain patrols.

To say the least, Marinette enjoyed the rain.

This rain, however, felt different. Ominous, even. Marinette, though being the holder of the Miraculous known for luck, was never superstitious. This storm, for whatever reason, put her on edge.

"Something is strange, Marinette." her kwami, Tikki, called her out of her trance at her bedroom window.

"I feel it too, Tikki. Do you think I should transform? Go and find Chat?"

"I'm not sure that it's not just a feeling. You don't want to risk anything if you don't have to. Besides, if Chat is anything like his kwami, he's not even noticed that it's raining yet."

Marinette laughed at her tiny friend. Tikki was right, Chat did tend to be a little aloof.

"You're right, Tikki. Come on, we can't be late for our first day at House of Gabriel." Marinette concluded, making her way into her closet to get ready for internship with famous fashion designer (and father of the love of her life) Gabriel Agreste.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adrien didn't mind the rain. He didn't particularly like it, but he never minded it. Most of the work he did was inside, so it never really interfered with his carefully calculated schedule.

He sighed as he ran over his schedule for the day in his head.

6 a.m.: Running (accompanied by Gorilla)

7 a.m.: Shower and Dress

8 a.m.: Breakfast with Father (which was usually subject to change seeing as his father was almost never seen in person anymore.)

9-11 a.m.: Photoshoot

12 p.m.: Lunch

1-3 p.m.: Photoshoot

4 p.m.: Fencing (he used to take lessons, but upon him turning 18, Monsieur D'Argencourt offered him a position as an assistant coach, much to his father's approval.)

5 p.m.: Dinner with Father (again, usually subject to change.)

6 p.m-9 p.m.: Free Time

It was roughly the same schedule as every single day from the past ten years of his life. There were few things that changed as he got older, such as the removal of school once he graduated and the addition of free time at night where he was permitted to socialize with friends, accompanied by the Gorilla, of course.

Much to Adrien's dismay, Gabriel made up his mind shortly into his last year of school that he would not need to attend University and that all the further education he needed to take over the company when Gabriel retired would be best taught by him and Nathalie.

Regardless, most nights when his father thought he was asleep, Adrien would call upon the tiny God of Destruction housed in the silver ring upon his finger. Clad in skin tight leather as black as night, he would pounce from his bedroom window across the roofs of Paris to meet with his Lady.

Oh, his Lady. What a Lady she was. The memories he shared with her were his favorite memories of the rain.

His most treasured memories were observed by the way the rain clung to her red and black spotted suit in droplets and the way it made her navy blue hair shine against the lights of Paris. He treasured the way her blue bell eyes would squint when she laughed at him as he pounced from puddle to puddle along the cobblestone streets. Her voice would ring out "Silly Kitty" with a giggle. He'd place a kiss to her gloved hand before they departed with a "M'lady" and then watch as she swung away through the sheets of rain.

Tonight, he decided, would be no different.

He carefully combed through his blonde hair as he listened to the hard beating of todays rain outside of his bedroom window.

"Mon Dieu, it's pouring les chats et les chiens out there!" his kwami snarked as he flew into the bathroom and took residence beside Adrien's hairbrush on the counter.

"I hope Marinette and Tik--- Marinette and her TOTALLY AWESOME SELF get to the office okay." Plagg commented.

"Marinette?" Adrien questioned, "What does Marinette have to do at the office?"

"You forgot didn't you?" Plagg retorted, unamused. Adrien felt a blush creep to his ears. "Personally, I would have thought the beginning of your so called 'best friends' apprenticeship at your father's studio would have been at the top of your reminders today."

"Of course! How could I forget?" Adrien lamented.

"I'm not sure she's only been talking about it for three months."

"Plagg, take a look at the schedule. Do you think if we leave now we'll have enough time to pick up a coffee and a croissant from the Bakery as a 'Welcome'?" Adrien asked as he knotted the laces on his loafers.

"You'd be cutting it close, but a certain feline I know would make it with time to spare." Plagg suggested with a sly and knowing smirk.

"Plagg," Adrien grinned, knowing all-too-well what Plagg was implying, "Claws Out!"

Then he lept out of the window into the downpour, racing to the nearest bakery to retrieve treats for his best friend on her first day of her dream job.

In his rush and excitement to find the perfect Croissant, Adrien didn't notice the figure standing at his bedroom door waiting to remind him of his commitment to Paris Fashion week in the next few days. He didn't notice the figure that watched his entire encounter with his tiny God and then his entire transformation. He didn't notice, and probably wouldn't have known if he did, that this figure was the same that had been transforming heartbroken and angry citizens of Paris to retrieve the same silver ring that he'd noticed on his son's finger so many years ago but never had any proof that it was what he was looking for. He didn't notice that his father, Gabriel Agreste, more villianously known as ShadowMoth, had seen him transform.

Maybe he should have paid a little more attention to the rain.