#what it did to my GOAT is... incredibly unfortunate.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Can you perhaps elaborate on the "Ganondorf should get to pummel Rauru"

As far as I'm recalling, we don't actually get that much of their issues in totk? We see leaders clashing, and then essentially Ganondorf kills Sonia and steals the secret stone, kicking off the imprisoning war. It's been a minute since I looked at the lore of totk (No Urbosa, so I'm nowhere near as invested as I am in botw) so I wouldn't be surprised if there's something big I missed, or even subtext I never picked up on

Sure! It's always very funny to me to receive the occasional ask like this, since I have been Renowned as a Rauru hater since release, but to briefly recap my perspective: I think Rauru was one self-conscious writing decision away from being the most compelling morally gray character in all of the Zelda canon, but unfortunately is heralded as being a near-perfect ruler (though even his imperfection is an extremely unclear and unexamined flaw that no character ever hold him accountable for --except for Ganondorf, and even what Ganondorf does call him out on is also unclear and also depends on translation because it wouldn't be a Zelda game otherwise) even though Rauru is mostly responsible, not only for his own problems, but also for everybody else's --including, crucially, Zelda's.

In a few words, he cannot be excused (like Zelda or Rhoam) by having to bear the weight of a kingdom for his poor decisions since, you know, he invented the damn thing (then of course maybe he would have to uphold the zonai legacy or something, and this is his motivation, but we don't know, since the game isn't interested in giving us this kind of information). His repeated invitations to the gerudos (and others but the gerudos are the only one not drinking the kool aid? which should be completely ok), being this new ruler of a brand new kingdom that didn't exist 5 minutes prior and yet feeling like he is somehow owed extreme levels of loyalty and devotion from everyone around him, being considered reasonable by the writing, is really baffling to me. Him dismissing Zelda's warnings (as tame as they are, which is just incomprehensible writing contrivences) even though he accepts that she does indeed come from the future, from a Hyrule ravaged by war, is crazy. Him running off to hunt and leave his priestess-wife in charge of the kingdom he founded on her lands while still speaking over her politically is.... sure a choice that was made in the writing. Him then choosing to warn Ganondorf that Link is a guy that exists and will kick his ass, is literally the reason why Link doesn't get the advantage and gets his arm destroyed. And then, in spite of all that, in spite of having the full picture, Rauru is vague and utterly unhelpful as a spirit while Link recovers, pondering that it's so sad that Constructs have to toil for all eternity for no purpose... :(

And like, yes Rauru, indeed Rauru, but maybe, just maybe, that should tell us something about how incredibly self-centered this goat-dragon-dude is --not realizing what he was imposing to his servants and people for his own leisure, in the name of his peace. I don't think he is evil, as in: he's not a cackling unsubtle and vapid caricature like Ganondorf is, but wow is this guy the most self-unaware and entitled character accidentally written in a game that fails to realize the absolute metric ton of red flags inserted in every single one of his scenes that I've... ever seen.

Again, if all of this was intentional, he would have been a masterful character. Maybe my favorite guy.

But the game destroying all other characters' interiority (and botw's worlbduilding) to tell this incredibly uncompelling tragedy about this super-cool perfect king and his series of completely avoidable failures... yeah, that really did not sit well with me at all.

Other posts about the topic that I've written previously:

A post about imperialism themes and aesthetics in TotK (I think it probably deserves an update with more specific historical examples)

A post about intent VS execution (especially re: good rulers and good kingdoms, and why this trope needs to be earned --contrasting TotK and EoW)

So yeah! Rauru. Weirdo guy. Compelling weirdo guy I think, but in a way the fandom really uhh disagrees with overall haha

[mvrdermeharder]

So in the wake of ch 294, i’ve been thinking about what’s left for Kaiser’s development…

Unfortunately, as i had expressed in one of my prev posts, i think his story has a very high chance of ending in tragedy (by which i mean death).

BUT, as he’s my fav trash boy, i’m not willing to give up on hope just yet. So i kinda want to ramble a bit about Archangel Michael’s history and iconography to find a leeway towards a better ending… and i’ll possibly do a deep dive in another post.

As i’m in the midst of editing… “deep dive” lmao as if this post didn’t end up as long as it did.

So basically, it’s a fact that bllk is full of christian symbology and references (mainly when it comes to kainess, to be specific), and it’s obvious that not only Kaiser’s given name, but also his appearance is inspired by how Saint Michael is represented in the most famous paintings:

Long(er) blond hair, androgynous facial features, wearing a blue tunic + often a red piece of cloth floating around him (Kaiser is permanently wearing these two colors on his body: red eyeliner tattoo, blue rose tattoo. Blue is also just his signature color in general.)

But here’s what i find even more interesting: Kaiser’s character is not only based on Archangel Michael, but it also incorpores a lot of visual elements that Lucifer is represented with (Lucifer is God’s ex-favorite angel, who CHALLENGED AND REBELLED AGAINST GOD, so then God kicked him out of heaven basically… you’ll likely know this angel by the name of Satan)

Now, the representations of Lucifer/Satan vary throughout history, with the earliest representations being in Egypt… so i won’t mention everything bc we’d be here for hours, instead i’ll just boil it down to only those characteristics that Kaiser and Lucifer have in common in SOME representations.

So, Lucifer/Satan is often represented as the most beautiful angel of all, sometimes in blue/red clothing, completely nude, OR in a demon like form: a goat-man with hooves, horns, and bat like wings. In the panel below, Kaiser takes up an anthropomorphic form (humanlike traits mixed with animalistic traits) as he immerses himself in his own malice: his legs and feet remind me of the hooves of a goat-man, aka Lucifer.

So despite Kaiser being a sort of reincarnation of Archangel Michael, his personality morphs into that of the cruel and sadistic Lucifer. He wants to rebel against God, he longs to cast his malice on the world’s football players to feel joy (just like how Satan finds enjoyment in tormenting humans), and in the latest chapter he claims that it was wrong to let go of his malice towards Yoichi, and that he should rely on his malicious urges to steal…

(For context, i’m using panels w the official translations, NOT the more widespread PO2 ones)

So now that i’ve explained how Kaiser takes on the characteristics of both of these angels, i want you to scroll back a bit to the paintings of St. Michael.

What we see in these paintings is the battle between St. Michael and Lucifer. We see Michael stepping down on Lucifer, in a complete victory. (The sword in his hands represents rightful justice, but that’s not very important rn)

And the way i see it, the manga might follow this story. But not in the traditional way of physical conflict between two bodies, instead, it’s an incredible internal and psychological conflict!

The great battle takes place in Kaiser’s mind, and if Kaneshiro intends to follow the famous biblical story, this conflict will end with the “defeat” of Kaiser’s unhealthy mentality (=defeat of his satan-like qualities).

Or at least that’s what I’m hoping for w this theory. I really don’t want to see my boy dead due to his fucked up mentality (Mick Moon theory… oh how i loathe u)

Paintings that i’ve used for reference:

Guido Reni - Archangel Michael defeats Satan

Luca Giordano - Saint Michael

Antonio Maria Esquivel - The Fall of Lucifer

Luca Giordano - The Fall of the Rebel Angels

Raffaello Sanzio da Urbino - (Little) Saint Michael

Raffaello Sanzio da Urbino - Saint Michael Vanquishing Satan

Francisco Goya - Witches' Sabbath

[fruitbasketball]

Listen I love Azzi. I also think she should’ve been nominated and honestly out of the nominees I think she could’ve won it. But I think you’re discrediting Paige. It’s not just that she came back, took her team to the final four and then lost. She came back, had a phenomenal CONSISTENT season and took an injury riddled team somewhere no one thought they could go. She was consistently carrying that team night in and night out. I think you’re downplaying why she got that nominee a little and I don’t think you have to do that to reason why Azzi deserved it. I think the issue with Azzi was that she wasn’t consistent this season so the media wasn’t talking about her as much and that always goes into these nominees. It’s unfortunate but hopefully she’ll use it a fuel.

if y’all come in here one more time talking about i’m discrediting paige

do you have any idea how longggggg i’ve been riding for that girl??? mfkers got here two days ago telling me i’m discrediting MY goat. stay in y’all lane goddamnnn

this is the typa shit i’m talking about

all of y’all srsly just wanna sleep with her and don’t listen to a damn word she says about how BLACK WOMEN DON’T GET THE COVERAGE THEY DESERVE

of COURSE she had a consistent season. arguably, she had an even BETTER season this year. but the fact is: her season ended with the final four.

do y’all not think it’s a testament to AZZI’S talent that SHE was the mvp on a championship team with sarah fucking strong and paige fucking bueckers???

what paige did last season WAS incredible. nobody’s denying that, nobody’s discrediting that. but wouldn’t you argue that if that is the criteria for a nomination in a much more competitive pool, then surely… SURELY a championship and an mvp might afford you the same credit, right??? right.

[kaibutsushidousha]

Ranking last year silhouette servants?

BB Dubai: Kinda wonky to rank because Dubai, Cosmos, and Golden are all separate characters, with one being completely new, one being old, and one being both. I can't honestly say all three versions deserve to be above the second place, but perhaps the full package does. BB Dubai is the one that theoretically doesn't rely on the emotional buildup of BB's past appearances, so the goal with her writing is proving her as a BB. Work a new character story from scratch and make her appeal to BB fans. And I think she was really successful there. Nice still gets what made the original BB so beloved.

Vincent van Gogh (Miner): I really didn't want to have the top two spots being alts of older characters but unfortunately Amphibian is my goat and Goghie's relationship with Theo is incredibly powerful stuff. 2024 as a whole was extremely good year for events despite having 2/3 of the usual quantity.

Andromeda: Charming design and personality, and a well-executed event. I can't understate how much Andromeda's efforts to be a hero are a great idea to use on the most archetypical damsel-in-distress of mythology.

Louhi: Repeat Andromeda's first sentence here. She could stand to look more Louhi-like and be less of a jumble of stereotypes that kinda signal she'll be the only Finnish Servant we'll get, but this is really minor compared to how enjoyable she generally is. The handling of her vs Sitonai's Louhi is a brilliant idea.

Ushi Gozen: Already has her own post, iirc. Still can't ever be as good as she was in her debut, but her My Room Lines are so much better than anything she gets in Samurai Remnant and its collab.

Le Comte de Monte Cristo: She did it. After 8 years trying, Sakurai finally made Dantès good. Some elements of his participation in FGO could be less convoluted, we certainly didn't need 4 Edmonds running around, but the meat of his story is intense, nuanced, and satisfying. Id is Sakurai's masterpiece and his handling is most of the reason why.

Alessandro di Cagliostro: The diet coke version of Douman. Has backstory connections with Sakurai's entire Victorian era cast and refuses to elaborate about it. Complete opinion coming after the inevitable drama CD.

Yui Shousetsu: The same Shousetsu we already knew and were unimpressed about. We get to learn some really crazy things about Souiken, but that doesn't really change Shousetsu herself as a character. She did have the funniest Valentines scene, at least.

HibiChika: OKSG's flop mascots continue to flop. Now they have a new friend who is about as meh as the two of them. Chikagi is at least better in FGO than in her home series.

Hassan of the Flaring Star: Spends all of Id just observing Fujimaru and saying he'll form an opinion about them later. I hope I also get to form an opinion about him later, but so far he's given me no material to work with.

[seiya-starsniper]

Sandman S2E5 thoughts

I love Lucienne consistently telling it how it is to Dream NEVER STOP LUCIENNE.

Yeah Dream, Destruction was definitely trying to tell you things you probably should've fucking listened

The constant misgendering really had my blood boiling and not even Wanda's aunt finally using her correct name at the end didn't make up for it.

LOL DREAM FIXING THE GRAVESTONE.

Unfortunately due to Circumstances surrounding a certain terrible man, I cannot be happy about this since her reworked storyline is definitely 1000000% his influence.

"Has Desire told to the entire family?" adkoaskodaokpdasdopk incredibly little brother syndrome.

Death and Wanda having a conversation <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

ngl I kinda wanted her to go to Dream's realm but it's fine that she didn't

OH GOD this subway train is so dark why

JOKER JUMPSCARE DEAR LORD

Oh my god Nada in BDSM wear, Dream is stronger than me for somehow moving past that

Fiddler's Green traincar??????

"You have a remarkable sundial" - What a big brother line of all time

"I am....[20 seconds go by] sorry." Well at least he's trying.

"What he does not say is often more revealing than what he does" and then Destiny reading those words as they form is PEAK HUMOR to me.

Barnabas and Destruction again!!!! They're so cute

Wow Destruction you are bad at poetry lmao

"Is there any other creativity for which I should brace myself? LMAO DRAG HIMMMMMMMMM

Destiny I know you say you have a garden but PERHAPS you could grow some flowers in it

Orpheus wedding time!!!!!!

"Father I had a bad dream" -uh sir that was not a bad dream that was unfortunately a premonition.

LOOK AT HOW CUTE DREAM AND CALLIOPE ARE EIIIIII

WHOLE FAMILY WEDDING

good lord they all look SO GOOD

"I wish you well Orpheus. After all most marriage end in misery." DESPAIR PLEASE LMAO.

Delirium how did you find fishnets in Ancient Greece please

Destiny has as much beside manner as Dream good god

Orpheus and Eurydice are so cute too bad this doesn't last

"I also have things to do brother" DEATH PLEASE THAT'S SO OMINOUS

Oh good they kept the original myth and not the weird story in the comics with the third wheel goat man I did not like that.

DREAM YOUR BEDSIDE MANNER TRULY IS ATROCIOUS.

Wow Dream's so pathetic he got disowned by his own son lmao

Orpheus do not cliff jump to get to the Underworld, there are less painful ways to get there PLS

Destruction blowing a hole in reality to get to Death's house lmao

Okay this is the one time I think the effects are atrocious I guess they used up the whole budget in the other episodes

Orpheus truly the most ride or die husband out there

Orpheus baby, you're about to be nothing but a head

Oh god I don't know why it shocked me that all the underworld souls are naked

FATES JUMP SCARE

love that Hades and Persephone are just fucking giants

Oh man Orpheus really does have a GORGEOUS VOICE hot damn

HARMONIZING WITH THE WHOLE UNDERWORLD as he fucking deserves

THE FATES ARE CRYING THE FATES ARE CRYING

"Sir you are a PROBLEM GET OUT OF HERE" "Can I have wife first pls?????"

Oh no Orpheus don't make promises you can't keep

Oh no we're doing the whole path?????? PLEASE MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS NOT AGAIN

BRUH FOR WHAT REASON DID YOU TURN AROUND

Calliope: YOUR BITCHASS FATHER IS A BITCH I'M LEAVING HIM

Orpheus: But you won't kill me either SIR

Please don't tell me we're watching him get eaten

....Oh god we're watching him get eaten

Okay well at least they have clothes on?????? I think???????? That might just be people's skin as clothes though

Oh to be Dream and find your son's head on the beach

Dream stop being so petty that's still your son aoisdjoisdaiodjioasd

DREAM YOU DICKWAD YOU ARE A BAD FATHER

Oooooo Delirium being threatening I love that for her

Awww she changed her eyes to be the same to comfort Dream <3

"Farewell my brother" BRUH WHY DOES THAT SOUND LIKE ACTUAL GOODBYE AKODSOADOKASDOKSDOKS. It probably is though tbh.

[raisedbythetv89]

Just finished “Poor Things” and damn what a fucking movie.

The mind of a child inside a woman’s body who has an insatiable sexual appetite and curiosity is uncomfortable as fuck but that’s the entire point. Children are innately curious and experimental and very simplistically seek pleasure and avoid pain and our puritanic (or in the story victorian) western society has turned all things sex related into such an uncomfortable taboo topic and this movie shoves that reality in our faces forcing us to confront how uncomfortable we are when it comes to educating children about sex and the relationships we have with our own bodies and pleasure and often resort to just telling them “it’s improper or wrong” and that leaves the door

W I D E O P E N

For men like the lawyer to come in and take advantage of the appetite others tell us to deny, the curiosity and the naïvety of someone who must venture into sexual relationships with absolutely zero frame of reference or knowledge. If you deny children the ability to learn something from you THEY WILL SEEK TO LEARN IT FROM WHOEVER IS WILLING TO TEACH THEM.

Every man who tried to control Bella failed miserably and what I ADORE about this film is it flips the traditional “poor naive girl goes to the big city, gets taken advantage of and ruins her life and is left with nothing and now she’s just another victim…. Poor thing….” completely on its head and not only that, better reflects real girl’s journeys through this world because we truly overcome so much in order to become the women we are. Yes she is taken advantage of and treated cruelly (“I wasn’t trying to educate I wanted to hurt you. I couldn’t stand to see such blind happiness”) yet she persists, she learns, she forms her own ideas and opinions and beliefs, she shuns societal norms and in the end the lawyer has been driven mad, her sociopathic husband from her previous life is a goat and she’s happy studying to be a doctor surrounded by women and a man who supports her to he exactly who she is and does not view her as her property. It was incredibly refreshing to see what is usually framed as a very dark traumatic journey for girls coming of age as one of self empowerment and agency. It was a magical adventure, an Odyssey. She is a true adventurer. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and Barbie to an extent are the only other stories I can think of that frame women’s coming of age journeys in this way (though I haven’t seen THAT many movies in the grand scheme of things so there very well could be others I’m unaware of)

I understand if you get stuck on the “child brain in woman’s body that men then desire” it is icky but this film is in no way condoning that behavior in men it absolutely is criticizing it. The lawyer is driven mad by the very childlike curiosity that drew him to her in the first place, it’s perfect we LOVE to see men go insane by getting exactly what they wished for 😌

It’s important to note that yes it’s a male director but Emma Stone was a producer and has said she had complete say and control with both how her body was shown and how the story was told. I personally tend to just viscerally react to male gaze media in an I’m immediately nauseous and on edge kind of way and didn’t get that at all with this film. My brain was like “this is weird and uncomfortable” but my nervous system wasn’t actually sending up and red flags that this was unsafe or insidious in some way like it did when I watched game of thrones for the first time. I knew shit was off on that set IMMEDIATELY which was then later confirmed to my unfortunate lack of surprise.

But anyway I’m not normally one who cares about oscar nominated films but this one had me laughing HARD and crying and it’s such a visually beautiful and interesting film I absolutely loved it.

[a-iya]

so well, what anime have you watched and what anime songs have you added? 🙈

my god i am so sorry it took this long for me to answer this!! ya girl has been super busy and exhausted from life tbh. but i am finally back home and trying to catch up with all the things i need to do ;-; starting with this ask!

my anime watched (on a google spreadsheet lmao):

i think the total is 25! there are some that i kinda watched in passing while my sister had it on the tv and i just happened to be nearby, but for these i only count the ones that i actively paid attention to. definitely not as many as a well-versed weeb but i can no longer call myself a beginner either lmao.

i only have music from the following animes: demon slayer, my hero academia, attack on titan, jujutsu kaisen, assassination classroom, mashle, paradox live (unfortunately 😵‍💫). i have the opening theme of my happy marriage and the instrumental of the ending but i feel like that barely counts. some of the ones i have from demon slayer are like instrumental/characters theme covers that other people make cause i don't think the official ost is released on spotify and any osts uploaded on youtube get taken down sooner or later 😔 (mugen train i'm referring to you 😩 you didn't ask but i have so many favs from the ost [tracks 21 {tanjiro vs. enmu}-25, 27-30, 32-33 {rengoku vs. akaza}])

currently only 36 songs in my weeb playlist, but there are definitely songs i know that i just haven't saved! either cause i don't like it enough to save or cause i don't actively think about saving anime music when i initially hear it lol :") or cause it's not on spotify and i'm too lazy to download locally. i only saved a bunch of MHA stuff recently because you sent me that ask about it a while ago LMAO

i wish i could pull together my own spotify wrapped-esque graphics since this year's sucked BALLS (i heard they laid off a bunch of their staff and used ai for the wrapped this year. ugh). but for the stats themselves, looks like songs (lyrics) vs. instrumentals/themes (no lyrics) is split ~60/40. some of these songs with lyrics i would definitely forfeit for the instrumentals if were actually on spotify (e.g. some of the paralive stuff... the rapping is sooo cringe but the beats are sooo good 😭)

some of my personal no-skip themes that are in my playlist:

mashle: bling bang bang born (of course. iconic for a reason. also in my gym playlist cause of the fast tempo LMAO)

jjk: specialz, lost in paradise (the trumpet?? ugh i am gagged)

demon slayer: kizuna no kiseki (swordsmith village opening... so good this shit almost makes me cry idk why), zohakuten/hantengu theme

mha: dakara hitori ja nai, shout baby, rokutosei, flowers by asian kung fu generation INSTRUMENTAL (from that deku/rody montage scene in world heroes mission. the singing did not do it for me but the strings and the guitar by themselves?? chef's kiss. no notes. literal perfection. esp the last 2 minutes of the instrumental, with the slow buildup to the star of the show, the electric guitar?? brilliant, incredible, amazing, showstopping, spectac-)

WEEB songs i listen to when i need to lock in while doing my godforsaken call reports at work (i normally work most efficiently when i have one song on loop for like an hour or so until they all get done. almost always an instrumental, even if not a weeb one lmao):

flowers instrumental - asian kung fu generation (mentioned above. truly a masterpiece of a composition) [mha]

eren zahyo - hiroyuki sawano (goat fr. in particular the last minute and a half always gets me so emotional because of the end of S2 where erwin talks about getting closer to finding out the truth. i literally search it up on youtube sometimes and watch just to feel something) [aot]

attack on d - hiroyuki sawano (the childish singing is a little weird to me but the rest of the composition is so good that i can overlook it. also this played after eren/mikasa basically confessed to each other and that moment will forever be etched into my mind. sOBS) [aot]

more than words instrumental - hitsujibungaku (literally 11/10 without the singing. i'm sorry but with the melodies and the voices "it's so bad i want to give it a zero" 😭) [jjk]

ao no sumika instrumental - tatsuya kitani (the first 10 secs always hits idk) [jjk]

uta to hibiki - hiroyuki sawano [this was from a movie called bubble. the movie itself was mid {like a watered down little mermaid essentially} but hiroyuki sawano always hits it out the park with the music]

i'm sorry, you probably never intend to receive a 25-page master thesis when you put these asks in my inbox and here i am rambling on into oblivion about my extremely particular music tastes 💀 like i'm just imagining we listen to the same song and you're like "yeah i mean i guess it's alright" meanwhile i'm over here losing my goddamn mind LMAO. i think different songs just attach to people's brains differently. but this was fun to answer and i appreciate you sending this ask! curious to know if any of my top picks are also yours!!

[shimmerbeasts]

👀Favorite thing about the muse’s appearance?

🌌Favorite alternate version of the muse?

😂Funniest thing that’s ever happened to your muse? 

(all for Jinx)

Mun Talks About The Muse||Accepting.

I think I will have to go with Jinx's braids and her purple eyes. Those two elements just feel incredibly iconic to me. Plus I adore how Arcane animated those braids. How they swish and swirl with Jinx's movements. Their movements become broader and bolder whenever she is moving in a fight or just excited. Honestly, one of my favourite scenes animationwise is the moment Jinx cracks Hextech. I love the triumphant spin she does and how her braids just coil themselves around her arms. Plus she looks so satisfied and proud of herself.

Well, the only canonical alternate universe version of Jinx is AU Powder. And while I do like that version and think she is very sweet, for me a big appeal of Jinx is that mania and madness, that thrill she finds in violence but also her eventually becoming more mellowed out and choosing to reconcile with her sister. I always found that such a powerful moment. How Jinx takes control of this chaos in her head and finally puts herself behind the wheel after not having done that for years. AU Powder never had to learn of that violence and even though she too was traumatised, she had a support network, which made sure that her mental instability did not become as bad. Which of course is a good thing.

That does not really answer your question, doesn't it? The thing is: I do not really have many AU versions of a character. I was never that invested in making them like I used to because I think a part of me thought you had to. However, from all of those unfinished AUs, my favourite one probably has to have been my vampire AU. Having Jinx be a vampire who due to being raised by a werewolf essentially acted like a werewolf more than a vampire was always a fun thought experiment.

That's a good question, to be honest. I usually do not write a lot of crack, so funny things are in somewhat short supply on this blog. At least not things I would consider funny. So how about I humour you with a sort of funny headcanon instead?

Basically, when Jinx had just been taken in by Silco, she once got the glorious idea to throw a small firecracker into the toilet for no other reason because she wanted to figure out what would happen if she tried to flush it. Unfortunately, instead of going down the toilet, the firecracker exploded. While the toilet did not break, the whole place smelled of fireworks. Any sensible person would have stopped after this fiasco. Unfortunately, Mylo was determined to goat Jinx in her mind to do this whole stunt two more times. The end result: The whole toilet reeked terribly of fireworks, there was poop on the ceiling and Sevika cursed Jinx into oblivion because guess who had to clean this toilet?!

[ink-flavored]

Reworking Pride

BTS Series: ⬅ Table of Contents - Reworking Justice ➡ Also available on Neocities! P&J Taglist (Check out my Google form to get added): @elegant-paper-collection @auroblaze @zeenimf @vacantgodling @foxys-fantasy-tales Banner art by @auroblaze

The first thing I decided needed a rework was, no surprise, the protagonist. Pride would need to change significantly, and not just for the obvious reasons. I needed to have a different visual for him so I could more easily create a separate personality and motivation from scratch, instead of constantly associating him with his alternate fanfiction self. I can’t draw, so I went onto this Picrew and threw together an initial appearance I could work off of.

I wanted to keep some of the punk elements like piercings and alternative dress, both as a kind of homage and to put a big neon sign over his head that reads HAS PROBLEMS WITH AUTHORITY. Same thing with the eyeliner—explicitly not conforming to gender norms, both signaling a problem with authority and implied queerness, which is intentional. The goatee was for fun, since “haha goats and Satan,” but I liked it so much I kept it. I did decide to make him white, instead of Japanese like his fanfiction counterpart, which is a change I did make with a purpose (I’ll get into it). The horns and tail being the classic cartoon devil were the only options available. It wasn’t the look I was going for with the story, but I added them anyway because they were cute.

One big deviation I decided on right away was that this isn’t going to be a stolen body, for Pride or Justice. Their appearances are what they look like, all the time, and Pride will ferry the soul for his contract without hijacking their appearance. I actually changed the way the whole contract thing works, too, but that’s a story for another post.

From here, I began brainstorming his personality. The fanfiction Pride & Justice was very short, so there wasn’t a whole lot of room for character development or action. In fact, Pride has a static character arc through the whole story. The only thing that changes by the end is him admitting that he’s scared to go back to Hell, and the rest of his personality remains exactly the same. That isn’t going to fly as an original character in a longer story.

In this new story, Pride as a character needs to be a shithead, for lack of better description. Not only is he a demon, he’s the embodiment of hubris, self-importance, and the root of all sin. He needs to be loud, obnoxious, arrogant, and outraged, if not violent, when he doesn’t get his way. Paradoxically, he also desperately needs people to like him. It’s well-documented that people with healthy relationships with their pride don’t do the grandiose “look at me, I’m so special” thing—their pride is self-evident, and exudes naturally. The people who do act incredibly shitty like this are compensating for a low self-esteem, declaring that they’re the best, that everything they do is the best, and that everyone should like them for being so obviously the best. This, of course, turns potential friends and companions away, and sends them further down into their spiral.

I took a great deal of (mostly tongue-in-cheek) inspiration from a Tweet by Sarah Hagi (that I can unfortunately not find the link to): “God, give me the confidence of a mediocre white dude.” I want Pride to be a critique of that guy you know, the one who acts like he’s the best thing since sliced bread, but isn’t really as great as he claims, and deep down he knows it. He hurts people to boost himself up, using his position of power over others to make himself feel more secure. Sure, he’s had pain, maybe even trauma, but he doesn’t want you to know that. It would be weak, in his mind, to admit that he has wounds so deep he can’t even look himself in the mirror.

So, as my protagonist, Pride needs to be fundamentally self-absorbed, taking pleasure in the pain of others, because he’s compensating for and masking a very deep emotional pain. I don’t want to be so black-and-white as to make the entire concept of “having pride” a strict evil, so over the course of the story I want to develop him into a healthier version of it. This would give him a very fulfilling arc—he begins the story as the negative expression of pride, hubris and self-importance and viciousness, and ends on the positive end of the spectrum, with genuine self-respect and confidence without needing to harm others. That’s a whole dang character with flaws and potential for growth if I do say so myself!

Obviously, I wasn’t quite done. Pride needed a pain to endure, something that would turn him into the vindictive little asshole we see before us. What better pain for a demon to have, what better way to turn them bitter against all of humanity and virtue, than to be cast out of Heaven by God for questioning His authority? Not only is Pride a demon, he’s one of the fallen angels who rebelled with Lucifer when he fell from Heaven.

My wonderful girlfriend, AuroBlaze, helped me solidify Pride’s appearance so I wouldn’t have to use the Picrew forever. The idea of him having the blond roots of his hair exposed was played as a joke, at first, because how funny would it be for him to always look like he had a shitty hair-dye job? But while we were talking, I realized it could be a brilliant metaphor for the very shoddy mask he wears to hide his aforementioned bitterness and trauma—especially if those exposed roots are the color his hair used to be as an angel, that won’t stay covered up, no matter how hard he tries.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The blond roots are still the color his hair was as an angel, but the reason they stick around is because it's essentially a magical scar. His dark hair stops right where it meets his horns, his broken halo. His former-holiness is burned into him, and can't be transformed or dyed away.

While we were discussing what I actually wanted his horns to look like, I solved a few world-building birds with one stone. The demons in this story, instead of just being goth angels, have their wings cut off by the other angels when they fall. Their halos are cracked in two, jammed into their heads, and become their horns, eternally smoking with once-holy fire. They grow tails from the trails of fire they leave as they fall to Hell, like the trail of a comet. They have several permanent reminders of the grace they lost.

Lo and behold, we have our final design:

[Tumblr version] [Instagram version]

Welcome to the world, Pride! You are a menace to society and will cause so much distress to everyone around you.

A few other details that I want to mention before we go: All demons have a secondary beast form they can transform into, either fully or partially (i.e. Pride can summon one monster arm if he wants). Compare this to angels having a human form and a “flaming wheel of eyes and fire” form. His horns and tail are also optional in this way—he can hide them from humans entirely if he wants. I won’t get deep into his powers or how this story’s version of magic works, but there’s a good chance I’ll make a separate post about it later.

EDITOR’S NOTE: You can see his beast form here, also drawn by AuroBlaze!

Also, for those of you waiting with bated breath for this: Pride will be explicitly bisexual in this book. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to bring it up yet, but I am very excited to populate this story with a lot of queer and trans characters, so it’ll be a topic at some point for sure.

On that note, there’s an internal war waging within me about whether or not I should make Pride trans. I’ve been on the fence about it for a while. Since he’s a multi-dimensional immortal creature who chose every detail of his body to his exact specifications, he wouldn’t need top surgery, hormones, or anything like that. It would just be the lower half that’s the contested zone. Normally, that wouldn’t be a big deal, but this story is a romance and there will be sex in it. So it’s unusually pressing!

The arguments against? I don’t want to perpetuate any harmful assumptions by making a trans character literally on the side of the devil. I already have more than a few trans side characters in the story, but I still don’t want to make any unfortunate comparisons in today’s landscape. There’s the whole “indoctrination” thing, tempting others to sin is a big part of his personal magic arsenal, don’t need to make too many jumps to get disingenuous there. There’s also the matter of my intended commentary—the “mediocre white man” stuff. While being trans wouldn’t make him less of a man, obviously, the kind of behavior I’m trying to critique is seen most often in cis white men. They use toxic masculinity as a shield because they’ve been told all their lives they aren’t allowed to show “weakness” in the form of emotional vulnerability, and hurting others is how they feel strong—like a “real man”—in the face of their pain. I don’t want to mess with the foundations of that critique, risk muddying it, or accidentally send a completely different message than I intended with such a delicate subject.

The arguments for are more self-indulgent. I am a huge fan of adding things to a story just because you like them, and something about Pride screams TRANS! at me. Trans men aren’t seen often in media, especially trans men who are visibly, vocally, and proudly gender non-conforming, and that representation is personally important to me. Also, trans men who don’t feel the need to get surgery are plenty scarce in the media landscape, which is again important to me personally. Beyond my personal investment, the metaphors I could play with regarding transness and fallen angels, and how toxic American Evangelical Christianity is to queer identities would tie in with a lot of other themes in the book. For any other story, that alone would be enough for me to shrug and make the change, but still I hesitate. Thoughts? Feelings? Advice? I’d love to hear it.

EDITOR’S NOTE: In the time since I wrote this post, I did decide to make Pride canonically a trans man. Once I started viewing him as trans, I couldn’t un-see it, and it became an inextricable part of him as a character. I do plan on tying in all of the above-mentioned metaphors into his character, and more. One of Pride’s arcs in the book is about his self-discovery—about becoming someone he actually wants to be, not tied down to anyone’s opinion of him, and growing into a person who doesn’t need to identify himself with his past trauma. It moves him so powerfully, he genuinely wants to be a human by the end of the book, something he once reviled because of how they stole God’s love from him. I think the growth, metaphor, and representation all come together to be more important than the “mediocre white man” thing, or any possible bad-faith readings of a trans character (which the inevitable dipshits will do no matter what).

WHEW, this one was a doozy. I guess I was really excited to introduce this story officially! Thanks for reading this ramble all the way to the end. And as always, thank you for your continued support!

See you next time for more Behind The Scenes action!

— Annika

[gazs-blue-hat]

Injections and Ivermectin pt.2 (Small Town UA) Ghost X Reader (Tens)

AN: Continuing the small town UA! This is another chapter featuring our favorite veterinarian and broody SAS operator.

Word Count: 2,382

Summary: After an unfortunate encounter with a goat, Ghost manages to slice his arm open. Luckily you know how to fix it without messing up his sleeve of tattoos.

TW: Blood, Injury, Stitches, Canon typical language, Mention of a dog having puppies (Ethically). Briefly mentioned Bisexual reader (LMK if I missed any)

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO ANYBODY HERE OR ON ANOTHER SITE TO REPOST, COPY, TRANSLATE OR FEED MY WORK TO AN A.I OF ANY KIND.

The 141 had been on Lamb's farm for four weeks now and you had gotten into a pattern of seeing them. You often went over to help with her leg. Something had been really irritating it lately and she never would take care of it herself. (Stubborn bitch)

You were getting to know the men pretty well actually. MacTavish, or Soap practically followed lamb as closely as Nikon did. He knew a thing or two about livestock to Lamb logically trusted him with most tasks she would have done herself.

Garrick, or Gaz spent a lot of his time at Keys' place. She was in the middle of reorganizing and cataloging her library and she was very thankful for the help. Although, you wondered how much work was actually getting done. Gaz knew all about the series she liked so instead of working, the two were probably gushing over who kissed who and what was going to happen in the next book.

The Captain was no stranger to you (even if he avoided you like the plague). He would give simple head nods in your direction and calmly leave whatever room you had entered. You had no details about the meeting he had with Skip. But there was no broken glass or shattered doors when you and Lamb entered the house again.

The person you probably spent the most time with, however, was Ghost. Ghost was by far the most enigmatic of the group but he was also the most…genuine. You could see how his face would make invisible expressions under the mask and how he was incredibly expressive with his eyes. (That man could murder someone with a side-eye)

Whenever you would be at Lamb's house (Which was more often than you were at your own house), you always managed to be in proximity of the large man. Lamb often sent him over to help with whatever it was you were doing. You mostly came over to check on Moosie and her illness. The prognosis wasn't good and you had even walked in on Soap holding her as she cried into his shoulder.

Today though you were at the office, helping a sweet chocolate lab deliver her second litter of puppies. You watched closely as the lab huffed and grumbled in the large padded box next to you. You had decided to sit on the floor next to her so she would feel more comfortable. She held her head in your lap as you typed on your laptop, finishing up some documenting how many rabies vaccinations you would require for next year.

You turned your head as you heard the small yips of a newborn pup. You beamed down at the lab and pet her head softly.

"Atta girl. So proud of you." You whispered. The dog huffed again and got back to work. After checking on the puppy and documenting its health your receptionist stuck her head in the door.

"Lamb is calling you. Should I send the call in here or should I take it?" Maryanne asked softly. You really liked Maryanne and hired her on as your secretary a week ago. There wasn't much work she could do in town due to her health issues and you were more than happy to be accommodating for her.

"You can take the message, Maryanne. I'm gonna focus here with Debbie." You said while documenting the successful arrival of a second puppy. Maryanne nodded and you heard her wheelchair slotting back to the desk.

"She said someone named Ghost was coming over for some stitches. Said it was urgent." Maryanne called. You nodded and added him to your calendar. You wondered what Ghost could have done to himself that would cause a need for stitches so bad that he or Lamb couldn't do it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour or so later, you heard the little bell above the door of your office ring out.

"Hello, sir! How can I help you?" You heard the soft voice of Maryanne say from the front room. You stood from your seat on the floor and started to scrub up. You sanitized your hands and moved to the secondary room, gathering the materials you would need to do some serious stitching.

" 'm here to see Tens." A gruff voice said. Maryanne made a sound of affirmation and you heard the door to the first room office swing open. Debbie opened her eyes and huffed, only turning over so her six puppies could keep nursing.

"Over here!" You called while putting a layer of absorbent cloth down on the chair's arm. The chair you had in this room was not like one found in regular doctor's offices. This was a modified tattoo chair that you had gotten from an estate sale. Waste not, want not.

Ghost walked into the room holding a blood-stained towel over his left forearm. You winced and made a hissing sound.

"What happened to your lovely artwork?" You said kindly, gesturing to the seat. Ghost said nothing as he sat down, resting his arm on the chair's armrest.

"Was fixin' up the water toughs in the goat pens when this big bastard decided to use my side as ramming practice." He grumbled, making no sound of pain as you peeled away the towel.

"Jesus Christ on a bike." You mumble as you take in the extent of the damage. Six large lacerations dug deep in his forearm. Blood leaked from them and dripped down his arm, being absorbed by the towel.

"Bugger shoved me hard enough to cause my arm to hit the barbed wire next to the fence," he continued to explain. You nodded in understanding. You too had been headbutted by the 'big bastard' as Ghost had called him. He was a rather young goat with the fury of a thousand suns crammed in his tiny body. it didn't matter how big you were or how strong. He would always try his damnedest to knock you on your ass.

"I know how that goes. Frankie always was cantankerous." You say while donning a pair of gloves. These gloves were specially made for you by a medical friend of yours. He had molded them to your hands so they fit absolutely perfectly. It was almost like wearing no gloves at all.

"Oh, Lamb said to give this to you. Said that you deserved it?" Ghost said while handing you a folded note. You nodded and gestured for him to place it on the tray next to you. You didn't want to have to scrub everything again.

You began by cleaning the area of blood as best you could with some gauze. You then reached over for your saline bottle and opened the cap with your other hand.

"Okay, you probably know the drill but I'll go through it anyway. This is just saline, it will sting a bit but not nearly as much as Isopropyl or whisky." You say with a smile. You can notice his eyebrows raising slightly in surprise.

"I was a combat medic Ghost. We used what we could find." You say with a wink. You irrigate the wounds and watch as he flinches from the pain slightly. The cuts weren't actually as bad as you had thought and that made you smile.

"Do you by any chance have a reference image for what the tattoo looked like before all of this?" You ask while holding pressure on the wound with one hand and grabbing your suturing supplies with the other. Ghost shook his head and you frowned. You'd have to guess then.

"Why does it matter? You don't need a reference to do stitches." Ghost said calmly. You could tell he wasn't irritated, he was genuinely curious about your question.

"Well look at it! I don't want to butcher it with messy stitching!" You say while gesturing to the undamaged parts of the tattoo. It truly was amazing work. The level of detail that went into the ink honestly deserved an award.

"I don't even want to think about how much this cost or how long it took to do. That would be a slap in the face of the artist." You continued, shaking your head at the thought.

Ghost chuckled and you felt your stomach do a little flip thing.

'odd...' you thought to yourself.

"Never had a medic care so much about my tattoos before." he chuckled. You could practically hear the smile in his voice and it took great restraint not to melt into a puddle.

"Perhaps you've been hanging out with the wrong medics." You say softly. You really didn't mean to make it sound so...sultry. You numbed the surrounding skin with some cream and you got to work stitching. You did your best to line up the skin perfectly so the details of the tattoos would be spared.

"Who are the right medics then?" he asked softly. You almost didn't hear him and you looked up, only to meet his piercing eyes.

Oh God

You could have fallen into those eyes. A deep brown that reminded you of freshly tilled earth after a rain storm. They reminded you of the dark bark of a steady spruce tree, green throughout the cold winter. His eyebrows were perfectly molded to his face but just unkempt enough to give him a scruffy appearance.

When you died, would have to slap God for making a man so fine.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you properly. Could you repeat that?" You asked. He leaned over in the seat a bit, getting closer. You could feel your breath hitch in your chest. He smelled divine. Like work and pure man. He also smelled slightly of cigarettes and bourbon with a hint of Lamb's homemade soap.

How dare he smell delicious? How dare he make you salivate at work with his stupidly strong arms, thighs, chest, and-

"I asked, who are the right medics then?" he repeated. You swallowed and hoped he couldn't hear your heart pounding in your chest.

"The ones who give a shit about you I suppose." You manage to say without stuttering. Never had a patient made you react this way. Not even the one time that smoking hot petty officer had gotten a steam burn on her side, showing you plenty of side-boob as you bandaged her up.

He only hummed and sat back, closing his eyes as you worked. It took you about three hours to stitch the wounds up enough to your satisfaction. You gently wiped the area clean with more saline and you put some antibacterial cream on the stitches. You looked up to say something to him but a rough snore caught you off guard. He was sleeping.

Somehow this large man had fallen asleep while you were giving him stitches. You said nothing as you gently wrapped the wound with Tegaderm so he could watch the healing process and come back if there were any issues.

You simply draped a thin blanket over him and turned out the lights. You cleaned up from the procedure and grabbed your laptop from the other room. You didn't want him to be alone when he woke up since you knew how disorienting that could be.

You sat on the floor once more and continued typing your reports, ignoring how the sun had long since set.

--------

It was around midnight when Ghost blinked his eyes open. He was strangely comfortable in whatever seat he was sitting in. He looked around to see where he was and he furrowed his eyebrows when he figured it out.

He was in one of Tens' medical rooms, sitting in a tattoo chair with his arm all bandaged up. He examined the work and was incredibly pleased that you had done a perfect job. The lines of the tattoo were perfectly aligned and the stitches were so perfectly symmetrical that if there even was a scar, it would look like it belonged in the tattoo anyway. Absolutely incredible.

A soft snore alerted him that he was not alone in the room. You sat in the corner, your laptop still on and shining a dull white light on your face. You slept peacefully but not in the cute ways that movies or books would show. You slept with your head on your shoulder, your mouth open slightly and a small splotch of saliva pooling on your coat collar. You still had your coat on that was dotted with his blood. Your hands rested on the keys of the keyboard as if you had fallen asleep while typing.

Simon smiled down at your sleepy form. You had stayed in this office with him so he wouldn't be frightened when he woke up. You stayed way past closing time and even fell asleep on the floor to make him more comfortable.

He stood up, closed your laptop (but not before saving your work), and gently picked you up. He was careful of his stitches and he was shocked when he didn't feel pain as the skin pulled a bit. You had numbed him up, even if you knew he was well used to stitches without pain relief.

You mumbled a bit as you shifted in his grip, nuzzling into his chest. it was a cute action and Simon felt a bit of blood rushing to his cheeks. How long had it been since he actually blushed? he made his way to the other room where he had seen a bed. It was a medical bed sure, but a bed was a bed in his opinion.

"Don't forget to... wash your haaands." You mumbled while making the motion of rubbing hands together. Simon smiled softly under his mask as he set you down. You curled up a bit, shivering in the late autumn air. He returned to the room he had been in and grabbed the blanket you had placed over him. He draped it over you and closed the door behind him.

Returning to the room to pick up your laptop, he noticed the paper that Lamb had instructed he give to you unfolded on the floor. The words written upon it made his stomach flip in the strangest way

'Have fun with Skullface. Don't ever mock me again bitch.'

-Lamb

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist: @plumteaa-remus @ghostlythots

(Lmk if you want to be added)

[ultimatebottom69]

Could you make a list of your 10 favorite Romance club love interests?

So Anon. I made the list. And as usual imma explain each choice of mine. And mainly i will take stories that have ended except for 2 of them. My rating is my taste so the main rating is How entertaining was it ? Did I get bored ? Did I think of never finishing this book ? Did I like the characters ? Was my female LI interesting ? And yes stories who haven't ended do get points taken away. Did I laugh out loud while reading it ? Did It take long for me to end the book ? Did I like the plot ? Did I give a fuck about the characters's fates ? Did I spend money ? Did i do it on DR ? Can I say to someone a part of the book I liked WITHOUT searching it up ?

Also Did I need the walkthrough ?

All this contributes to the list below. Again this as an Female LI romancer specifically. It was a time before slots. So i am judging specifically how much entertainment was I getting despite My LI not being here at all cause every female LI here is sidelined as usual.

1- Arcanum. Argue with the wall, Mary's route was a good 9/10, Alice was cooking and serving I did like the change of ambiance compared to season 1. Because despite the weak ass season 2 we had our moments and Selena's obsession with bridges...Incredible I would have liked a longer season 3 cause what do you mean it was all connected ? Also the fucking horses. Selena is such a delight because she is a RED FLAMING FLAG. No need for a red flag LI with her ass and yet they delivered Mary. No one could beat that in FLI (Xantheia enters the chat) I would like to remove my previous statement about no competition.

9.7/10

2. Heaven secret 1. I know. I know. But in my defense *pulls out Mimi out of a comically small bag* This fine lady was in here. Also the plot...Is funny, the main character was hilarious and very bold. The team of friends "Adi and Sammy" were a delight. Lucifer was an asshole but what's new. Fencio...Well I am mad we couldn't kill the man. I was on demon's path and i really liked it. Also the fact we killed Malbonte with his own power. Not bad for a gal who has an art degree at best. Bravo Victoria.

9.65/10. Because Alice is homophobic. I am not forgiving you for Austie not being in the li roster woman. Also for robbing us of Bont. I am still mourning.

3. Exceptionnaly I'm going to add a story that hasn't ended yet but to me it's the same as if it is cause it's just too good. Path of Valkirye. God damn. It would have beaten HS1 by a fucking landslide had the author stayed the same. In fact it could have beaten everyone if it wasn't for the fact the author changed unfortunately. The Loyd route ? Hmhm. Finger licking good. The plot ? 10. The characters ?8. Loki and the blod guy are here. I did like the blonde gal and the one episode we had of jealousy because I was romancing both at the same time. Also Loyd carrying me like a sack of potato. That is all I ever wanted.

And she is litterally HOT, 9.55555555/10

4-HOT. Now. I know what you're thinking but in my defense. Gisella is the GOAT. MVP. Hell yes. She is an icon and she is the moment. Except for her weird fart joke accolyte. I forgot his name fuck that guy. She was the real one her route is a 10. Simply for how long the episodes are. But there is no plot holes at all. None. I did hate the interlude had the most interesting moments. And also rare book where you can shoot a man in the balls with a fucking arrow.

8.5/10. Yes i did include the weird SA jokes in the grade but we can shoot a man in the balls. It kinda evens out. If we could have shot more people (including the people who were trying to SA) I would have made it a 9.

5. Vying for Versailles. Maria Theresa. For short we call her MT. The plot is cool but god damn you need the walkthrough for this book. Like oof. But i loved the characters loved the accurate ass historical representation of Louis xiv cause yes as a french we all knew that guy sucked MASSIVE ass in a bad way. I do love the book made him the town bycycle by how many women were passing through.

Hated we couldn't kill the guy but they DARED let me the option to kill my queen ? Fuck you author. I am meeting you in the parking lot for that one. Square up. Oh and I am doing that for Bonne too. This was a hate crime. Loved the happy ending, loved the vibe, I surprisingly liked the religious talk, mainly because I am fine praying with Maria Theresa yeah I am converted this is my religion now, if it gives me an excuse to have more time with her. I am still beating your ass.

8.25/10, the bonus point was cause I am french. Also louis's mom had got it going ON !

6 .Heaven Secret 2 : Yes. Yes yes. Yes. I know. I know. I know. I know. I never said my taste were immaculate. I can enjoy a shitshow when I see one cause this was Shepha's goofiest ass apocalypse I ever seen.

The chaos was worth every diamond. The goofy ass reveal of Vicky's true power. The reveal of Mammon dying a second time just to go "Psych ! Still alive." Eliza. Lord above. Mimi you lucky your mom ain't an LI. Austie's dad...Being a bad father ? Please this was not a reveal, you look at Austie three minutes and you can tell she has a difficult relationship with her parents.

I am mad we didn't see her more by the way.

The Mother of life was...Well she was not giving Mother, she was giving Cunt Slay Wine Aunt. Good for her is all I am saying but huh the sprite was not it. War was...Well i killed him. I am mad we didn't kill or fuck Plague. Yes I am one of these peoples. Sue me.

And the CG for Mimi were highly AI generated. The wedding and the last one. Like hm. But Mimi saved this book for me despite her change of sprite, and her weird decision to try become an actress and I am over here like "But you said back 10 years ago that....You know what ? Sure. I'll watch you with pleasure." . She was everything and it took me 5 episodes to love HS2. Can't wait for HS3. Now the rating is low. What would have upgraded immediately the rating ? Let me kill Rebecca in the finale battle. Let me do it. Why you cockblock me. Why are you a misogyn Alice ?

7.99/10

7. Rage of Titans. Now. I love greek mythology. I love that shit. Love Hercules. This book was supposed to be ranked higher but the plot was all over the place but the endings were a chief kiss in comparison. The female LI was good except for her change of personality...Well more like gain of a personality because until the reveal of they are Gods she was bland. Another book where the brother dies. Frankly heh. Aphrodite's route got a CG my lord. A cg like hmmmm. Also any book that lets me insult Zeus scott free gets my vote also...There were very funny background moments. I don't remember his name but one of sprite is so funny in season 3 the demi son of zeus. Good story too bad for the weird plot definitely needed another season and more then 1 female LI.

Anyway 7/10

8.Ok so. Another story that hasn't ended yet. But overall it is one of the rare stories where I don't really have a bad opinion of it. But I don't have either a strong love for it but I would say it fits here for me and my taste. W time catcher. So the book is solid. Again well Fantasy and I. Love story. Main female LI. She is MILF. Love the diverse cast no sprite looks like the others. The MC is super interesting. The only person I don't like of the squad and that's why i don't love the story much is the nonbinary pal with the pink streak in his hair. I don't really care about him but that's a me issue. The plot is bland in my opinion but again I prefer books who are very chaotic and have tons of comedy. WTC fits ONE criteria. The comedy is here it is funny. So I am giving a

6.6669/10 for now when the story ends I am pretty sure I will rate it differently.

9. Gladiator Chronicles. I like swords. I like gladiators. I like killing people. I like blood. So why is not higher in the classement ? Well the plot kinda...Huh. exploded like the death star. Augusta became sidelined somehow and did went through a personality change. Which we can't say the same about her brother. Fuck that guy. Nor her sister miss Delias 2.0. The ending was good and I had the meme "Oh Hi mark." On repeat. 6/10

10. Flower of Tiamat fire. Ok so. I like magic. I love fantasy. I love random fantastical animals. I loved the plot. I loved the side characters. Fuck Niall though, Hate the man. It was a guaranteed hit for me. Loved the story. It took only 2 days DR for me to finish it that's how good I was having it. I was buying them tea cups like it was black friday. The mother of Life ??? BITCH SHE WAS GIVING MOTHER OF LIFE ! Also the chaos energy thingy loved that plot line. Now though, why is it not in top 5 ? Despite all my praises ? Well IT WAS in the top 5. Until. Sue's ending ? I am mad. Very mad. Extremely mad even. This is me going "We were rooting for you, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU ! HOW DARE YOU ?!" level of indignation. Author this was worse then just being homophobic. This was a total let down. I never been more mad in my life of a fucking ending especially how the route was built up. Like damn. I spent my money on this and THIS is the thanks I get ? I hope every water you drink always taste bad and you can never smell food, get out my house. 5/10. My disapointement is immeasurable and my week was ruined.

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

But It Beats the Darkness - Malevolent Big Bang 2024, ch 2: ADRIFT

Serial killer Wallace Larson has been murdering children for his ritual, and the cops won't stop him. Private investigators Parker Yang and Arthur Lester choose to get involved... and everything goes wrong.

Interrupting the ritual leaves Parker missing, Arthur in chains, and a piece of the King in Yellow in Arthur's head. But this piece knows who he is, and knows what he wants: to complete his ritual and rule Earth.

Unfortunately, Arthur is incredibly stubborn, maudlin over his missing partner (stupid Parker Yang), and John, it turns out, is not the only piece of the King seeking power right now.

It's a race against time, and John has a heavy handicap. With Larson in pursuit, a trail of murdered victims in their wake, and a host whose body is failing, John is determined to win at any cost... even if the cost includes Arthur Lester.

"It may not be much light but it beats the darkness" ~ Charles Bukowski, The Laughing Heart

AO3

NOTE BEFORE READING

This is part two of a Darkthur fic. There is violence and bodily harm.

This fic was written in tandem with Kraiva's IT MAY NOT BE MUCH LIGHT, and is intended to be read together, though both are standalone. For the fullest experience, read the corresponding chapter from each fic. We'll be linking the connected chapters in the end notes of each.

The incredible art in chapters two and eleven are by @wurmeon. The breathtaking 3D models in chapter six are from @iconiccookie.

---------------

The torture started early today.

Arthur choked, fighting for silence, as one by one, they took his fingernails and his toenails, as one by one, they beat his knees until both were too swollen to hold him up, as one by one, they they decorated him with shallow cuts and poured lemon juice over the wounds.

This was a wild thing to watch.

“—still won’t talk,” said someone out in the hall, barely audible over Arthur’s vocalized panting.

The entity knew it was true. Arthur would never talk. They’d never break him. Breaking Arthur Lester was not a thing other humans could do. It was a sobering thought.

Larson entered.

Arthur hung moaning, shoulders dislocated, held upright by two goons. He was so damaged that his vision pulsed red. The entity didn’t like it. 

Larson gripped Arthur’s greasy hair and yanked his head up. “What the hell is wrong with you, son?”

Arthur tried to spit. Tried; he couldn’t get the breath, and it just dribbled down his chin.

“Charming,” drawled Larson, and let Arthur’s head fall back down. “I’m beginning to think maybe you don’t know anything, after all, Mister Lester. Just one clumsy fool, tramplin’ on things he could never understand.”

Oh, that was bad.

“Then you’re the one who loses out, aren’t you?” wheezed Arthur, who wasn’t stupid, but wasn’t wise , and so did not stay quiet, either. “Without your damn book, there’s no more sacrifices. No more children dragged from their beds. You lose, Mister Larson, and my life is well worth that.”

A moment of terrible silence. No one breathed. No one moved.

“Jack,” said Larson.

And Larson’s hideous offspring came forward, steps ponderous, cruel goat-face grinning. He leaned in.

And he bit off Arthur’s ear.

Holy fuck! John cried as Arthur screamed and twisted, trying to pull his head away from the sausage-hands gripping him, but it was too late. Fucking Jack ate the ear, chewing it thoughtfully like some weird jerky.

Shock sent Arthur into full-body shudders. Was he dying? Would this stop his heart? Shit! Larson! Be careful!

And Wallace Larson… ignored him. 

“That won’t grow back, Mister Lester, no matter what my healers do,” said Larson calmly. “You’ve been through a lot in the last few days, and I thought it might be time to lay things out for you in a way even you can understand. I’ve given up on the book; you don’t know where it is, or at this point, you’d have told us something. Similarly, you’ve made it clear you won’t give up the god inside you. Not that I can blame you—to have a god inside your body has to be the highest honor of your life, but I think we can both agree this is gettin’ ridiculous.”

Larson.

Again, he was ignored.

“Fuh… fuck… you,” Arthur managed, because of course he did.

“This has set me back quite a bit, you’re correct,” said Larson pensively, “but it isn’t the end of my journey, now, is it? So here’s what we’re going to do. You will die here, no matter what. You know that, don’t you?”

Wait, said John.

Arthur tried to push his lips together to spit, and physically could not.

“I'll take that as a yes. There are two ways this can go.” Larson’s accent somehow grew heavier as he slowed. “One: we give you a merciful death. Quick, painless. It’ll all be over, and you won’t have to suffer anymore.”

Arthur laughed, wheezing.

Wallace! Listen to me!

“Two: we take our time. You think you’ve suffered so far? Oh, no. I think you know by now that my people are very good at what they do; we can keep you alive for ages , screaming, losing skin, losing your limbs by inches, until you’re nothing but a mindless stump, no tongue or teeth left in you even to beg to die. And you know what happens then? We still won't let you . That’s right.”

The entity was feeling something else new now, something shivering and paralyzing and terrible. Fear? This was fear. The entity knew Larson, who’d been sacrificing for years to open the way, and knew he meant this threat. 

There was only one way left to go. Arthur. Arthur, it’s time to stop being fucking stupid. Arthur!

Arthur swallowed; tears slid down his cheeks, but he did not reply.

“You’ve got one last chance to get the easy way,” Larson continued. “All I need you to do is talk. One little thing. Anything. Where did your partner go to ground? A reputable team like yours, I know you had places, plans for when things got real squirrelly.” And Larson punched him in the gut, a full-body swing, turning his hips into it. 

Arthur barked air, struggling to inhale after.

“Where is Peter Yang?” Another hit to the same bruised place. “Where would he have gone to ground?” And another, fist deep in Arthur’s solar plexus. “Who told you about the book?”

The only sound, for a moment, was Arthur’s wet and tortured breathing. “…find him,” he whispered.

“What?” said Larson, leaning in.

“Tell you wh… where to find him,” Arthur breathed, barely audible, dripping sweat and spit and blood.

Oh, gods, was he finally being smart?

Larson leaned in just a bit more. “Where?”

Arthur said each word slowly and clearly. “Up. Your. Ass.”

Oh, for the love of hell. Arthur, don't be a fool!

“I think we're long past that point, Your Greatness,” said Larson casually, wiping off his fist on a silk handkerchief. “Unfortunate. Real unfortunate. Sorry about all this. Looks like we’ll just have to do things the long way.”

No. The entity was already trapped, already couldn’t even move. If they took his eyes, leaving the entity trapped in numb darkness… Wait! What about me?

Larson’s pause said more than words. “Real unfortunate.”

Panic hit, and it spared no part of him, no inch of the entity’s mind or heart. Wait! Don’t do this! Wait!

“I’m done waiting,” said Larson. “Hey, maybe we’ll luck out, and when he dies, you'll get his body.”

His ruined, fucked-up body? The stump? This is not what I was promised!

“Neither are you, ” said Larson calmly.

The entity felt like he’d been hit in the head by a brick. That is not what we agreed on!

“Well, now, I don’t recall agreeing on a god who could be split in two, or stolen like a newborn welp, either,” said Larson in the exact same nothing tone.

Arthur laughed like a broken piston, rusty and painful and jagged. “Lose,” he wheezed.

Larson stood in the wake of that laugh, gone pale with red spots high in his cheeks. “Healers here yet?”

“Yes, sir,” said whoever. “They're waiting outside.”

“Well, good,” said Larson, and began rolling up his sleeves. “Tell them to come in about five minutes. I shouldn't need more than that. Tell them to prepare for an amputation.”

Oh, no, no, no, no—

Teeth bared, shaking, Arthur’s rapid breath took on voice, a bleating misery.

Larson, no!

“Y-yes, sir,” said Larson’s servant, and walked out of the cell.

The entity moaned. Don’t you do this! You swore! You swore yourself to me!

“No offense, your lordship,” said Larson, “but I need a less… fragile deity.” He raised a saw—short and wide, many-toothed, with had a handle almost like a gun’s, designed to cut bone.

[ID:

A drawing of Arthur/Darkthur being held up by the arms by two unseen men. He looks determined and angry, and is glaring at Larson in the foreground. He has blood on his arms and coming from his ear. Yellow wisps flow away from Johns eyes. In the foreground, the silhouette of Larson faces towards Arthur, his arm holding a saw. The saw has a graphic starburst shape in reds, oranges and yellows behind it. The background is a blueish grey stone work wall.

/End ID]

No!

Larson did not obey.

#

Minutes. It was minutes. He couldn’t even feel Arthur’s pain, and yet found himself disturbed, unbalanced, enraged, terrified.

Don't you do this! Stop! Stop!

But Wallace Larson did, and then Wallace Larson turned his back. Wallace Larson handed off the gore-covered saw and left without even trying to excuse his infidelity.

Traitor! Apostate! You’ll pay for this! Don't you dare walk away from me! And the entity knew he sounded weak, knew he sounded afraid and desperate. He was desperate. What was coming next? Arthur’s eyes? Would he truly be trapped in his host in the dark, completely cut off from everything? 

Only the Dark World would be worse. He couldn’t help one unsteady sob.

Arthur Lester hadn’t sobbed. Arthur Lester hadn’t bowed. As Larson worked, Arthur laughed between screaming, cackled between shrieking, and was still laugh-weeping when he finally passed out, limp… and now, asymmetrical.

And suddenly, shockingly, the entity was glad Arthur hadn’t given in. Arthur’s submission had to be earned, and Wallace had not earned that honor. Wallace had earned only wrath, and the entity would find a way to act on that, or so help him, the world would burn.

Suddenly, Arthur’s words landed, snicked into place like a key in a lock: I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.

Yes. The entity understood now. He would not accept this fate. 

The healers did their work. Arthur no longer bled. His side healed over and scarred as if he’d been missing his left arm for months. He slept, if a dead faint could be sleeping, and the entity worked on a new plan, and worked on ways to make it happen.

He worked on ways to make Arthur submit.

#

When Arthur’s breathing changed, and he began to cry, the entity knew he was awake.

He let the man cry for a bit. He’d certainly made humans cry before; sometimes, they just needed to, and Arthur had lost an arm—but he wouldn’t let Arthur stay there. It was time to act. Arthur.

Arthur whimpered.

Listen to me carefully. I think I can get us out.

“What?”

This was phase one. This was essential. If he didn’t earn this human’s trust, the human wouldn’t obey him. That was a hard pill to swallow, but faced with damnation, the entity now knew survival came before pride. I’ve been thinking all night. I think I can get us out.

Arthur didn’t respond right away. (The entity was unsurprised; humans were easy to mentally fuck out.) “How? Wh… why would you…”

Because I understand now that you were right. He’s an oath-breaker , said the entity, low and angry . I will see him pay eventually… but I can’t do that if we die here. When you can stand, do it. I don’t think we’ll have much time.

Arthur swallowed dryly. “You’re not lying? You have a way?”

He did. If Arthur’s soul was strong. I do. It may not feel good, but I do.

“All right.” Arthur shifted. Groaned. Shuddered for a moment, an involuntary shock-response, and then finally sat upright. Then he had to breathe.

Hurry.

“Trying.” Using the wall, Arthur got to his feet. “Turning me into a mouse, after all?”

Ha, ha, ha… no, said the entity. We are breaking out of here in the truest sense. I’m counting on you, Arthur. This will be exhausting.

Arthur spoke through clenched teeth. “Then it better work the first time around.”

They’re not getting their hands on us again. Turn right, toward the window.

They had one small “window,” barred, not even wide enough to fit his a hand through. It was like a cruel tease—a glimpse of air and freedom they’d never know again, pointed, mocking .

Anger made his voice hard. This may hurt. And he pulled .

Arthur screamed.

Stand, Arthur! Stand!

Power, pulled and taken, stolen away and tied into something it was not. Power, Arthur’s soul, and in it, the entity’s metaphorical tentacles were tangled.

Somehow, Arthur still stood. Stood, as the entity extruded , stretched and shaped like dough being pulled until it snapped.

Arthur staggered left, and the entity braced them on the wall. “What the fuck?” Arthur gasped.

Easy, said the entity. Easy. I’m projecting myself.

“You’re what?” Arthur rasped, straining to stay upright.

I am about to blow out this fucking wall.

Arthur’s unseeing eyes went wide. “Then what? I’m fucking blind!”

Then. You. Run.

“How?” His voice broke.

I’ll direct you. I need you to trust me, Arthur.

Arthur breathed quickly. “This is a big fucking risk.”

For us both. Arthur, I’m trying to save our lives.

“All right. All right.”

Victory. Take a few steps back.

Arthur did. “Now, what?”

Cover your face. Ch'nglui'ahog! Break. One of the simplest commands, practical, powerful, brute force. 

And Arthur’s soul was strong .

The wall disintegrated, crumbling as if hit by a hammer. Arthur cried out as rubble smacked him, nicking his exposed skin, lodging in his filthy shirt.

Here was their way out. Go!

Arthur chose to obey and scrambled forward. He staggered on rubble, groping with his one hand.

The entity reached with his own, his magnificent limb—strong and long and powerful— and heaved them up and into dead grass that was crunchy with winter and ruin.

That explosion would bring someone though, far too soon. Up! Go! 

Arthur staggered on three limbs and the entity’s one, fell flat on his face twice, and on the third attempt, lurched along the ground, propelled by forward momentum more than strength.

Turn left! Other left!

Arthur ricocheted old wooden fence and corrected.

They were doing it. They were doing it! Faster! You’re clear! Go faster!

Arthur ran, barely more than a jog, but tortoises could win their race, and so could fucked-up escapees.

There were shouts back there. This was terrifying. This was thrilling. This was…Fuck, I need to see behind us.

“Is there somewhere to hide?” Arthur gasped.

Yes! Slow—to your right, barrels!

Arthur ducked right, found the things by touch, and worked his way around them, crouching. Panting. Trembling. Likely only upright because of adrenaline. Not good for much, or at least not for much longer.

I am the master of my fate, thought the entity. They’re just coming out of the wall we destroyed, looking in all directions, but it’s getting very dark, and they can’t see us.

“Tell me when to run. Straight behind?”

Turn for me. Yes—if you turn right around and run, we’ll get into the woods. A pause. I won’t be able to see much longer, either.

“We’ll make it,” Arthur snarled, weirdly vicious. “We’ll make it, survive, find Parker, and when we do, that fuck won’t know what hit him.”

That fuck , by context, being Larson. We will, vowed the entity. All right. On the count of three, turn and run. One.

Larson’s men shouted, blamed, ran the wrong direction.

Two.

Somewhere out of sight, Larson joined in, yelling for answers, cursing people out.

Three!

Arthur spun and ran.

Luck must have been with them because no one seemed to be following.

Slow! Tree!

Arthur ran into it face-first and nearly knocked himself dizzy.

You’re still in sight! Get into the tree-line , you idiot!

Arthur crawled.

Right! No, right!

Arthur crawled faster, lurching unevenly, reliant on the entity’s help.

It was dark in here, and the entity did not like it. Arthur crunched over leaves, gasping.

They couldn’t stop now. We have to keep going. Larson has dogs.

“We can’t outrun dogs,” Arthur snarled.

I can hide our scent for a time, Arthur, but you need to move. More magic. More drain on this human’s soul.

Arthur obeyed (ha!) and staggered forward, hand out to avoid further collision, but he didn’t need it; the entity directed him well, and used his own projected hand to fend off low and prickly branches.

#

His host had done well. The entity finally let his grip on that soul vanish, let his precious limb evaporate; it was more important that they just kept going than that Arthur had two arms.

They went for hours. The darkness oppressed; distant shouts and dogs occasionally echoed toward them like bouncing projectiles, but none found them.

And this host… Arthur … was about done. The entity couldn’t risk him dropping fucking dead. Arthur.

Arthur didn’t respond, dragging his feet, head down, bent forward.

Arthur.

Arthur stopped. “Yes?” he wheezed.

There is a barn. We should go and try to sleep. The moon is about to set; it’s close to midnight. If they haven’t caught us by now, we have the time to rest.

Arthur stood, shaking. He couldn’t seem to fully raise his head. “All right. Where?”

Twenty steps ahead, the treeline stops. Then about two dozen steps to the barn.

Arthur followed instructions. They found the barn. Found it open. Found it empty but for hay and various rusty tools. Found the loft.

Arthur could not pull himself up into that loft. The entity had to, and the effort of reforming that arm just for that moment seemed to be the last thing Arthur could manage for tonight. Safely off the ground, he curled up. “Can people eat hay?”

I don’t think so. We’ll find you food tomorrow.

“Pretty sure my stomach will eat me before tomorrow,” Arthur muttered.

It was such a dark joke, but the entity liked it and chuckled. Arthur. We did it. We got away. That man… he is foul and unfaithful, a heretic, but he’s capable. It’s significant that we got away.

“I don’t know if we did yet,” said Arthur. “I need to sleep. You said you don’t. If they come, you’ve got to wake me. All right?”

Yes. Well done, Arthur.

The praise made Arthur pause. “Thank you. I… I didn’t think we’d make it.”

You still tried.

“I’ll always try.”

It was true. The entity… respected it. For a mortal, Arthur was moderately remarkable. I know.

For a few minutes, Arthur lay quiet. “Gotta get you a name.”

What?

“A name. So I can s-say—” he spoke through yawning—“thank… thank you to your face.” And he was out halfway through that last word.

Such a strange human. The entity had pushed many to their limit, to breaking, to death, and he knew what he was seeing. There was no maybe about it: this was a remarkable host, and he’d been lucky to land in him. Rest well, he whispered, and was pleased when Arthur did not stir.

Notes:

Read the accompanying chapter of It May Not Be Much Light here!

(chapter one) (chapter three) (masterpost)

[bananafleshgirl]

So. You seem to know quite a bit about Norse magical traditions, and I'm wondering your opinion on something. On the seidr wiki, I came across the mention of seidr being a practice of 'shamanic trembling' and autohypnosis via hyperventilation. While I think this definitely fits the scene from Fargo, I saw other sources saying they don't put stock in the trembling/seething hypothesis. What do you think? I know mostly about low magic (i.e. immediately understood the sin eating scene, did not know wtf to think of the goat ritual), so I'm a bit 🙃🤷‍♀️

Historically speaking, there is very little knowledge about actual historical practice, anything you can find will fill in the gaps if you are currently practicing it or make a minimally close representation of what would happen during the act. The reality is that literally no one does it, no one knows how it was practiced or what it was for, we have about 2 sentences in the Erik the Red saga that are incredibly vague and that's what we should do, any seidr you see now will be entirely manufactured by whoever is preaching it. no one knows the "real" seidr, it is entirely guesswork and varies greatly from person to person. I recommend you check out The Viking Way and Children of Ash and Elm, both by Neil Price, they are robust books, but they are good starting points to pick up on the few vague suggestions that have survived, from there, using these details you can create your own modern interpretation of seidr... Unfortunately this is all that is known, the information I have was taken from sources like this, vague and not very exact, the issue of gender is well addressed because it was something seen as feminine but odin practiced it, so the from there came several elaborations, etc.

The ancient pagan meaning of “animal sacrifice” was to prepare dinner. It is a way of honoring the animal that dies so that we can eat and live. This is the only type of animal sacrifice that any Wiccan tradition teaches. Goats have been raised and then sacrificed as human food for thousands of years. I'm not sure what Ole did in that scene, but it reminded me a lot of rites that were done by some warrior tribes in the mountains who had the custom of “bleeding” a new generation of soldiers by cutting a goat and using its blood to mark the young men, on certain festive occasions. The goat then becomes part of the party, which makes sense since Ole is apparently preparing for combat, he didn't ingest any part of the goat, I believe that perhaps Ole was preparing for combat, especially considering some things he says in Latin that seem to be from the Latin Vulgate Bible: "Cumque portaverit hircus omnes iniquitates eorum in terram solitariam, et dimissus fuerit in desert". [Omnes iniquitates] filiorum Israhel, et universa delicta atque peccat[a eorum...] The first sentence is Leviticus 16:22: "And the goat will bear all their iniquities into a land not inhabited; and he will release the goat into the wilderness." It's about the sacrificial goat of Yom Kippur that absorbs the sins of penitents and absolves them by proxy. The next phrase, which the series distorts a little (and is also somewhat omitted), is merely providing an explanatory phrase for the immediately preceding verse: "[... All the iniquities] of the children of Israel, and all their transgressions in all their sins..." (in the show this is distorted to something like: With all the chivalry of those who were in solidarity with him (repeated twice ). He marched into the wilderness of Israel and everything was conquered.)

I'm not really sure, but here's my two cents.

[natsmagi]

I love ur art!!!! really its so gorgeous and the style brings me sm joy, its so soft and cute!! and ofc fem ntsmg is THE GOAT!!!!!!

BUT I JUST WANNA ALSO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR HOW U ANSWER ASKS AND STUFF AND IDK JUST UR WHOLE PERSONALITY IN GENERAL?? I love reading ur text posts especially when u kinda analyze the characters and stuff like its so fun to read and tbh, both natsume and tsumugi are characters that I feel are often mischaracterized in the fandom, and like idk I feel like u get them so perfectly and its sooo !??!?! Awesome getting to read ur awesome takes when new events come out and stuff like YOURE SO RIGHT ABT EVERYTHING, i be reading ur posts and going "you!!! YOU FUCKING GET IT!!!!!!!!!!" *happy stimming*

if you honestly did like a proper character analysis for them one day just now i would be so here for it and read it over and over again probably. Im currently hyperfixating RLY HARD on ntsmg so sometimes i just go through ur entire text post/ask tag and read everything over and over again 😭😭😭 I JUST LOVE THIS BLOG IN GENERAL KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING, YOURE ABSOLUTELY AWESOME AND VERY MUCH BASED USER NATSMAGI!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️

OIUGOHGOOHH OH MY GODDDDD ANONNNNNNNN THIS IS SO SWEET I HARDLY EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAYYYYYYY 😭😭😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME 🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

im a very chatty person so im very glad u like hearing what i have to say 🥺!!! and im glad u like my personality too since i feel i can come off as harsh or arrogant sometimes AKJHFSKJH THOUGH TBF I DO TRY MY BEST TO BE KIND......

ID LOOOVE TO ANALYZE NTMG MORE !!! main reason i dont do it as often or hold myself back a bit is because admittedly its been a While since i read alot of the stories, a majority of which i have only read once, and when i make actually Proper analyzes i like to have reread the material and see if i maybe misinterpreted something on my first read or am misremembering, bc when given new info other interactions can be read differently and all that. and i also wanna actually do them justice and not accidentally spread misinfo AJHSFKJH AND I UNFORTUNATELY HAVENT HAD THE TIME NOR ENERGY TO DO THIS </3 but even without remembering every single piece of dialogue verbatim i like to think my grasp on them is still somewhat decent, and im very glad u like my interpretations 🥺❤️

it always makes me so incredibly happy when people view the characters similarly to me aswell bc like u mentioned they Are kinda prone to getting mischaracterized in some ways...... i think it mainly comes from both natsume and tsumugi having MANY factors to their characters though, and the mischaracterization comes from only highlighting one aspect of them and failing to think about how their different attributes overlap (although this can probably be said for the entire cast tbh). like an easy example that im sure everyone gets by now is natsumes little tsundereisms. if you only focus on him being rude to tsumugi it can look like hes just some edgy guy with anger management issues, but when you take into account other factors such as him having a rather spoiled upbringing both by his parents and nii-sans, and his distaste towards feeling "weak" (also caused by his upbringing, since he was frail as a child and raised as a girl) you start to see that oh. alot of that is just him being defensive and emotionally immature. since he had such a comfortable upbringing those hints of discomfort and vulnerability are threatening to him as someone who always had everything handed to him. and when you dont know how to deal with situations like that ASWELL as being afraid of being seen as "weak" youre Gonna start resorting to harsher words and sometimes even get physical because you have no clue how else to handle this. its also why the natsumes character consists of him being pretty obsessed with "growing up" and "not being a kid anymore," because he knows how immature he could be SKHDGJH he doesnt have bad intentions he just. doesnt know how to be vulnerable with people

[tinker-tanner]

Tag Nine People You'd Like to Know Better

Favourite colour: intense, vivid green. I don't know how to describe it properly, but if you imagine the glow of radioactive waste in a cartoon, that's about it. Purple, orange, red, and black also suit me well.

Favourite flavour(s): My palate is unfortunately rather unsophisticated thanks to having almost zero sense of smell until age 27 (thank you estrogen for my life), so my sense of taste hasn't historically had a lot of room for variation. That said, there is nothing in this world quite like top-notch cheesy garlic bread.

Favourite music: indie rock writ broadly. This ranges from folky stuff like The Mountain Goats to metal-adjacent prog like Polyphia to the vast soundscapes of Sigur Rós. Also enjoy quite a bit of rap, electronic music, and folk.

Favourite movie: Attack the Block, always and forever. It's the perfect mix of horror, teenage shenanigans, comedy, and genuine emotion. This is also John Boyega's first starring role. I genuinely cannot believe he pulled off this kind of leading man energy as a teenager: watching this movie in 2012 lets me sincerely say I was into him before it was cool.

Favourite book: Two-way tie for first. Book of the New Sun by Gene Wolfe might be the smartest book I've ever read. Not that it makes the reader feel smart - I have rarely felt dumber than when I'm trying to understand what Severian is leaving out of a story - but that there's so much going on and every reread enhances how much you can extract from it. The Sisters of Dorley by Alyson Greaves helped give me the courage to finally acknowledge I was a woman and is also just a stupendous psychological drama filled with women who have so, so many things wrong with them. Honorary mention to The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien, which is still up there but no longer quite in the top spot.

Favourite series: Revolutionary Girl Utena. I did not know TV could ever be this good. I do not expect any TV show to astound me this much again. Watching Utena, I could feel my brain physically reshape itself. The show is unexpectedly blunt about rape and child abuse considering it's shojo, so watch out for that, but if you can handle it, watch this show.

Last song: "Sun Bleached Flies" by Ethel Cain. The perfect song for a certain mood when you need to reckon with not being Christian anymore. The first time I heard her sing "God loves you, but not enough to save you" was like a revelation.

Last series: Afraid I don't watch enough TV to remember this.

Last movie: The Boy and the Heron. Miyazaki near the peak of his powers, which I never expected to see again. The big screen added a lot to this one. Even by the usual high standards Ghibli sets, it's incredibly gorgeous.

Currently reading: Beowulf (as translated by Maria Dahvana Headley). I'm a sucker for Old English literature. Took two courses on Old English in undergrad and they were some of my favourites of the degree until the person who taught me turned out to be profoundly racist. Headley's take is bizarre and therefore compelling to me: I'm always interested in seeing how weird someone can get with the source material.

Currently watching: Nothing. I weeded and organised my bookshelves for the first time in the 2020s and am taking advantage of this to read my TBR list at a ferocious pace.

Currently working on: Nothing in particular. I'm not all that creatively inclined and what little writing projects I did have were pushed aside by all the real-life nonsense I'm juggling. Tarot reading has been a joy to learn, though; attempting to interpret real-world events through knotty tangles of symbolism is exactly the sort of thing my brain likes. Shoutout to The Tarot Restless by Winslow Dumaine, which dared to ask "What if I made up my own Dark Souls cosmology and put it in a deck of cards?"

Tagged by @tobermoriansass, which I find terribly considerate given how hard it is to drag him away from his elves these days. Tagging @sophibeans @stackslip @licoricefern @deadciv @catgirltoes @loki-zen and whoever else would like to join in!

[whatsjenniupto]

The Drooping Effect

My AC break was over. I had collapsed, I had hung up my semi-dry, hand washed in Nazaré clothes in hopes they'd actually dry in Coimbra, I had changed into lighter clothes. It was time. Get back out there. You can do this.

The main attraction in Coimbra is likely the university. It's the school that JK Rowling modeled a number of Harry Potter details after. It was my next stop, although I had reservations about the large entrance fee and if I really was interested enough to spend it. But off to the my destination I went, climbing up the mountain.

I quickly cleared the congested turns, determined to beat the Google Maps ETA. One of the comments I read prior to Portugal was how Google Maps times were always off because of the hills, especially in Coimbra. I (for some unknown, incredibly painful, and absolutely inexplicable reason) took this as a challenge. Six minutes? I got this. As I stare up a hill of torture stairs. Must. Beat. Google. Maps. I'm competitive never -- unless Google Maps or Duolingo are involved and then I will take you out. Can't. Breathe. Legs. FIRE. GO, GO, GO!

I slowly crossed off each previously noted spot on my itinerary, growing more and more underwhelmed. The numerous types of church architecture were interesting, but the price tags attached to every entry way and the lack luster (or overly gaudy) interiors that are frequently waiting kept me outside in the sun. Finally, I arrived at the university ticket office and found all the prices raised. Like a lot. Like almost 20 euros. To wander a university. None of the options seemed to match anything I found online and the price tag sure didn't. Did I want to wander a university for 20 euros worth? That was more than my life-changing goat dish. Would I value this university more than that goat? No, I really didn't think so.

So I turned left, looked up a place for gelato, and started walking back down the mountain. I determined that gelato would reset the day and all would be well again.

As I savored the cold gelato perched on a plastic stool on a step, I sorted through options for the remainder of my day. After the monastery, the second goal was to catch a Fado show at Santa Cruz Cafe. I decided to head in that direction, starting with a visit to Igreja de Santa Cruz.

Unfortunately, they cut off entry to the cloisters earlier than expected. I was about three people short of making the cut. Should have savored that gelato a little less. I now had an awkward break until the Fado concert. I could climb back up the mountain and visit a museum for some AC. I could walk out to a park. Or I could continue sitting on the far side of this fountain while pretending not to listen to the guy playing some pretty epic piano and stink eyeing this dude who thinks he's going to be getting into my bag. I'm sorry, do you think you're being stealthy?

UGH. What do I want to do?!