#what is xavi’s problem

[bellcza]

lamine already has 47 games with the first team and he’s 16. when will we ever learn LET THE KID REST

[leqclerc]

Wow, it's almost as if firing Xavi didn't magically fix all the existing communication issues at Ferrari 🤔

[fraudulentfancammerchant]

okay season over i'm logging out now ✌️ i'll be back when liga f restarts so don't unfollow me. or do if you want idk i don't control your life. ens veiem

[itlswhatltls]

Another day, another match without Pablo Torre being in the starting XI 🥲

[ceesimz]

the love you have is better spent in some other place

knowing love and accepting love are two different things.

despite the menacing title+summary, it's not all doom and gloom :)

The funny thing about Alexia Putellas is that she's the version of herself she always imagined to be when she was younger. Yet, at the same time, she's nothing like she thought she would be. 

She's as good at football as she knew she could be. All the titles one could want, she has them under her belt. There are all kinds of awards scattered around her apartment, as well as her family home in the care of her mother. Stadiums chant her name in the same way she witnessed at Camp Nou with her father's hand in hers as a young girl. The combination of her name and number is spotted on the back of nearly every Barcelona shirt around the world, treasured near and dear to millions of hearts in the same way she cherished her Xavi shirt. 

Her wildest dreams had come true when it came to her career. But in her personal life, things weren't quite the same. 

Alexia had known from a younger age than most that she would end up marrying a woman rather than a man. That she would be the best spouse she could possibly be for her own wife. And when that opportunity seemed to arise, having a partner to love who is at her side throughout everything, it came at the most inconvenient time for her.

She acknowledged that, but failed to be the greatest version of herself for the woman of her dreams. Just as she was back from her injury, after winning the most notorious trophy of them all with her country and feeling like the world was hers, it all came falling down. The timing of it was exceptionally awful.

Football wasn't quite the same for her. Something was off. Her knee felt heavy, and it was evident in the way she played. Every game, it got worse and worse. With that came the anxiety, the doubt, the shame that she wasn't who she once was. And maybe she never would be that version of herself again.

That's when you came in. A saving grace, almost. Just one day in November weeks before her arthroscopy, the last attempt to recover and reinstate her name into the sport she loved, you and all you were walked in and flicked the lights in her desolate heart back on. You were a reminder of who she could be, you gave her a reason to change her ways, and if she never returned to football again, at least you never knew that part of her. She could take the fresh opportunity with you and grow into it, without having to face the embarrassment of no longer being the dominant figure of European football.

But she couldn't change her ways. Despite the fact that she didn't have to shy away from who she was, despite the fact she recovered and the surgery was as successful as it could be, she couldn't change her ways.

If Alexia had known about the deep-rooted problems she had surrounding love, she wouldn’t have put you through those first few months of your relationship. That time of her life was a dark one, where she hated the world just as much as herself, until you came along. Like the light at the end of the tunnel, she headed towards it, but with each step she took, the light never got any closer. It stretched on, slipping between her fingertips like water. The affection you gave her was there, but she never quite accepted it for herself. And it ate her up inside, gave her even more reason to loathe what her life had become.

In no way was it your fault, she knew from the moment she left you the night of your first date that there was so much wrong with her. Instead of working on those things, she chose to be selfish. She wanted you, despite the fact she didn’t want herself, and sure, maybe it did work out in the long run. But if time travel became a thing, it wouldn’t take her longer than a second to decide to go back and change her whole approach to falling in love with you. For her, that period of time was tarnished by her internal torment, when she should have given in to the desire to fall into your arms with no second thought rather than ruminate on all the wrong-doings she had been through.

Something had to change, she had to change, to ensure that didn't happen. She just didn't know how. How does one fix something that's been broken for years? Where does she even start?

Love was something everybody chased, whether that be platonically or romantically, and it was a bizarre concept, really. Was it a universal thing, or just something that occurred in this world only? What happened on the other planets? If there is life out there, what do they chase? Love, or something else?

Alexia began to think it was the latter, and that there was something so deeply wrong with her for her to reject such a beautiful idea when it was all anybody longed for. Almost as if her problems were alien to everyone else, because even her friends and family looked at her in utter confusion when she first stated she didn’t intend to go on a second date with you. Underneath the facade, there was nothing she wanted more than to chase the love you had to offer. She needed it, like food, like water, like oxygen. Why couldn’t she accept it for herself? It was something she wasn’t able to understand, and it felt unnatural to reach out and tell you how much she enjoyed the evening with you when her skin crawled at the hands of the devil on her shoulder, spewing all kinds of hate and insecurities in her ear.

She did it anyway, and it had worked itself out eventually. That’s how she had got here, months later, laying on her sofa with your arms around her and her head on your chest, finally at a place where she could accept your love with no second thoughts. However, the guilt still ripped through her whilst you were none the wiser (or so she thought), and she wanted that to change. That filled her with fear, approaching a topic she could barely stomach thinking about, but you had stuck around all this time and if it scared you away now, she was the only one to blame that she couldn’t have relished in your love longer.

—

The first time that you noticed something might be amiss with Alexia was after the third date. You’d known each other for a number of weeks now, and spoke near enough everyday. It was hard for the footballer to find time in her schedule to fully dedicate her time to you, which is how you ended up texting each other almost all day every day. But on the fourth date, when she joined you for breakfast one morning, she walked in like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. 

Each time you had seen her, there was a look in her eye that drew the image of a dark cloud following her wherever she went, but as soon as she settled into your company, it went away. She smiled, she laughed, her eyes creased with unfiltered joy when she was with you. Yet, when it was time for you to go your separate ways, that cloud loomed again. It weighed so heavily upon her, it was almost as if you could feel it too. Still, that didn’t deter you from falling in love with her.

There was something different about her though, on that fourth date. It was hard for you to not feel a little anxious when she sat down and that cloud didn't drift away like it usually did. The thought consumed you; maybe she was growing tired of you, since you didn't seem to have the same effect on her anymore. As it turned out, that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Just as you were about to leave for work, she reached out to take your hand as you bid each other goodbye outside of the café, and she leaned down to kiss you. It wasn’t the first kiss you had shared, but for some reason it felt like the last. There were too many emotions tied into it, and instead of getting that fluttery, lovesick feeling you got when you kissed her, all you felt was dread. 

However, before you could ruminate on that thought, she saved you the anguish and pushed through the mental roadblock that tried to stop her from being honest, and told you what was on her mind. She went against her instinct and opened up, for your sake. 

“I am having surgery after Christmas. It’ll be some time before I can go on a date like this with you again and I don’t expect you to wait for me. So… I am giving you an out.”

The look in her eyes had darkened, a facade built to temporarily shield her from the pain of hearing you agree and watching as you walk down the street, out of her life. Because how could you be with someone that was putting their weakness on show? How could you want to stay with someone that’s admitting there is something wrong with them? It went deeper than just a medical procedure, this surgery, it ran so much deeper and Alexia knew that you understood that, it didn't take a genius to piece the puzzle together of what was weighing her down. That’s why she was giving you an out.

You didn’t want an out. You wanted to stay. And you would go to the ends of the earth and back to make sure Alexia knew that.

“No. I don’t want an out. I want you to let me in, to let me stay.” You told her definitively, taking a step closer and looking up at her with concern etched all over your face. If the way she leaned into the hand that rested on her cheek after that was anything to go by, you knew she was fighting tooth and nail to keep her emotions at bay. “I don’t want to go. I want you, Alexia, and all that comes with having you. And most of all, I want you to believe me when I say that.”

Everything in her body told Alexia to refute that, to shake her head and to walk away for you. She knew she couldn’t be the partner she wanted to be, with all that came with having surgery, and she adored you too much to sit there and watch you shrink into yourself as a result of her own fatalistic miserableness.

However, she went against her instincts once more, and simply nodded once as her lower lip quivered. That gave her away; her whole demeanour cracked then, as you wrapped her up in your arms and hugged her tightly. It didn’t last long, Alexia wouldn’t allow that for herself, but it was enough for you. You’d take it for now.

Even despite the confirmation from you, Alexia didn’t believe you would stay. That wasn’t a problem because of you, it was because of her. The blonde thought the world of you, but not for herself. She had been labelled the best in the world countless times, but the events of the past eighteen months had caused her to strip herself of that title. In her mind, she wasn't worthy of your time and care, you deserved better than the grumpy version of her that she would be until she heard back about her surgery results.

And to no one’s surprise, it was her insecurities that underestimated you. Because you showed up the day after her surgery with open arms and love in your heart.

Alba had somehow gotten your number whilst Alexia was in the operating room, and had formed a plan with you. The younger Putellas had heard about you very briefly from her sister over the last weeks, and though she couldn’t pull more information from her sister no matter how hard she tried, it was unfortunately a gene in the Putellas-Segura family that everyone held their true feelings in their eyes. It just didn't help that Alexia wore her heart on her sleeve too. 

Alba thought of herself as somewhat of a professional when it came to reading Alexia, and she could see it in Alexia’s eyes how much she adored you. That point was further backed up by how Alexia, under the influence of some strong pain medication, spoke about you so lovingly as tears trailed down her cheeks. She spoke quietly, because even when she wasn’t sober, her subconscious knew what a sensitive topic it was for her, despite how the doubtful voices had been silenced. 

And it was then that Alba had snuck out of the hospital room and called you, forming a plan for you to visit Alexia and inject some light back into her life as she recovered. It would be some time before the results of her arthroscopy were clear, and Alexia was anything but patient especially when it came to football. Everyone close to her knew she would be miserable, stuck at home on the couch or in bed, and there was hope that you would cheer her up.

You did. Though it took some time to extract that truth from her, you did cheer her up from the moment you walked in. Alba greeted you when you first arrived, speaking in a hushed voice for a few moments outside the front door to update you and ask how you were, before she left the two of you alone.

“Hey Ale.” You smiled, slowly making your way over to where she was sat up on the sofa with her leg resting and bandaged.

“What are you doing here?” Alexia asked in a slight grumble, though that same dreamy look in her eyes made an appearance for just a second. You caught it and instantly felt reassured by that one small notion, a little more confident.

“I thought I would come and surprise you. Cheer you up a little bit.” You told her, sitting down beside her but being mindful of leaving a space so as to not overload her.

“But it is Christmas. You should be with your family.” You just shook your head at that. 

“The woman I'm falling in love with just had surgery. I wanted to come and check on her.” A glimpse of a smile appeared then as you shuffled closer and gently took one of her hands. 

“Falling in love, huh?” Alexia teased after a quiet moment with a smirk, dropping your joined hands into your lap and squeezing yours.

“You're not? I think you would be leading me on then.” You grinned shyly, giggling as she rolled her eyes and tutted.

“I… I am. You do not need to worry about that.”

You could live off of that admission forever. The little moments like that, the small gestures, you quickly learnt that they were how she showed her adoration. That was her being vulnerable, as much as she could, and you could handle that then. When some might have been deterred by it, you gave her a chance. You had a near infinite amount of patience for this woman, because she deserved the world and more. Your goal was to help her understand that. 

She had her reasons for having her walls so high, for struggling to let people in, but you had gotten this far already and you'd be foolish to give up on her.

During that day, you were able to identify something about Alexia. And as the hours went on, it only became clearer and clearer. Even though she was the one hurting, mentally and physically, she would only have it so that she was the one holding you. If you tried to reverse the positions, she didn't let it happen. She would wordlessly reject the idea and carefully move you back to how you were, with no explanation. No matter how many times you tried, she just didn't let it happen.

Even when you tried to make dinner for her, she urged you to sit back down as she tried getting up and cooking instead. That was your final straw. You had patience, sure, but you weren't perfect.

“Alexia, let me take care of you, okay? Let me help, let me be there for you. I'm not above begging, so just let me be a good partner, please?” You sighed in exasperation. A flash of hurt consumed her eyes, but like always, she disguised it in an instant. But it struck your heart like a dagger, knowing you had accidentally targeted her most insecure spot. You couldn't tell if she realised it came from a place of love or not.

“Sorry. I'm sorry.” The blonde muttered under her breath before clearing her throat, her eyes dropped to her hands on her lap. 

Exactly what you were trying to stop, you had made worse.

“Ale.” You murmured softly, placing both hands on her face to get her to look at you. Yet, she still found a way to keep her eyes averted. “Ale, look at me.”

“Do not apologise. You don’t need to.” One of her hands came up to rest on your forearm as her voice cracked and trembled. She sounded so dejected, it tore your heart in two. “I am difficult, I know that. So please… do not apologise. I do not deserve it.”

“What?” You whispered uncertainly, taking a moment to process what she had said. When it clicked, you frowned as you stroked your thumbs over the lines of her cheekbones. “Why would you say that?”

“The way I am, it… it is making you doubt what a good partner you are. But you’re not good, you’re the best I could ask for. And I am pushing you away.” Alexia fretted so quietly her words were almost intelligible. Key word almost.

“No, you are not pushing me away. I am right here, aren’t I? I told you, I’m here to stay.” You paused for a second, a silent moment that caused Alexia’s anxiety to spike. Your next words didn’t exactly help either. “I’m going to ask you a question, okay? Let me ask you something.”

“Okay.” Alexia nodded dutifully, hoping you didn’t see the nervous gulp that followed.

“I want to be your girlfriend. Will you let me be your girlfriend?” 

You gazed at her, eyes full of hope that this would be the moment she let you in. It wouldn't be smooth-sailing from here, you were more than aware of that, but this could be the start of something that would improve both your lives for the better. The start of a life together that could make you better people. 

“Sí. Sí, quiero que seas mi novia. I would love nothing more.” Her reaction was better than you could have wished for.

In an instant, she melted into you; her forehead dropped against yours and tension you didn't even know was there in the first place left her shoulders. You offered your arms out and she leaned forward into you with no second thought. You hoped that was a sign of things to come.

As you expected, though, it wasn’t always that simple. Some days, she was still distant. Not in her affection or attitude, it was just that she was stuck in her own mind more often than you had expected.. Being able to spend more time with her as her girlfriend meant you came to spot the signs, and despite the fact that you didn’t yet live together, things were even more noticeable than before.

Like, for example, when she was especially struggling, but she tried with all her might to hide it. Sometimes, when she was going through a tough week, you could see in her eyes of course the turmoil that dragged her down more everyday. It wasn’t all doom and gloom, there were countless occasions where she was smiling up into her eyes and the two of you were happy together, but for the footballer, joy wasn’t a permanent thing. It wasn’t her average mood. 

Her physical fitness could take her up the highest mountains, but over the years her mental stamina had been stamped on, it had reached its limits, and it couldn't quite break out of the confines of her insecurities. They had no boundaries, they showed up when they wanted and silently tore through her. Those eyes you adored, more often than not, were weighed down by burdens that you probably didn’t even know half the truth about. 

There was one evening, a while after her surgery when she was flying through rehab, that everything reached its peak for her. You decided to surprise her by being at her flat when she got home one day that week – what you were met with was far worse than you could have predicted. 

Your excitement at the sound of the door opening and shutting was swiftly replaced by overwhelming concern at the sound of sniffles that followed. You left the kitchen where you had just ordered Alexia’s favourite takeaway and headed in the direction of your girlfriend’s footsteps that went straight towards the bedroom. Seemingly she hadn't heard you, a curiosity instantly proven true by the sounds of choked cries coming from the figure that was slumped over, her fists leaning on the bed as her chin was to her chest whilst she cried.

Not for a second did you hesitate rushing over, coming to stand by her side and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She startled, unsurprisingly, and moved to hastily wipe the tears away in an attempt to mask the emotions coursing through her nervous system at that moment in time. It was too late, she knew that, but it didn’t stop her.

“Q-qué haces aquí?” Alexia asked, her voice stuttering and shaking as she spoke. Your arm stayed around her, your other hand wiping her tears with a tenderness too soft for her, she thought. “No, por favor.”

“Ale, talk to me. What’s the matter? Please let me in, please don’t shut me out when you’re like this.” The pleas fell from your mouth before you could properly think of what you were saying. It wasn’t the best thing to say, adding guilt to the list of things she was struggling with wasn’t your smartest idea.

“I can’t do this, amor.” 

The statement shocked you, the ease of which it left her mouth was unusual. But the shock wore off quick, making way for the worry that sprung to your mind because that short sentence was enough to signify just how terribly she was feeling.

Her voice was uncomfortably rough as she spoke too, despite her only saying five words, you could tell that she had spent the drive home forcing back her cries. It takes a lot of energy to break down and release everything in sharp sobs, but it takes even more to hold back all that emotion. Forcing back tears hurt, and it wasn’t a surprise that her voice was hoarse and hardly there at all. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” You weren’t sure if something specific had happened that day or if this was a build-up of everything, but no matter what it was, you urged her into a tight hug, ensuring she was engulfed in the love you held for her. “You will be okay, Ale, I promise.” 

It took some time for her to calm down enough to talk, but whilst she did, you moved the pair of you onto the bed so you could hold her properly. She didn’t even put up a fight when you urged her to lay on top of you, your arms wrapped securely around her back as she hid her face in your neck. All she did was cry out the mass of emotions that were consuming her, and you just prayed that being there for her as she did so was enough to ease it, even if it was only a miniscule amount. 

Feeling concerned for her wasn’t a new experience for you – feeling downright devastated and grief-stricken for the woman sobbing in your arms was new. Never before had you seen her like this, and it scared you to death. All the possibilities that could be making her feel like this seemed insurmountable, like they were too big a challenge to tackle.

That didn’t matter to you. You would try for her, always.

“Do you feel like you could try to talk to me? Getting some of it off your chest might help.” You said softly, one of your hands slipping under her shirt to trail your fingertips up and down her back, something you knew soothed her. She gave a minute nod, which you felt more than you saw, and it gave you a brief feeling of relief. “Okay. In your own time, Ale.”

A few quiet minutes passed by, the footballer on top of you allowing herself some time to relish in the infrequent position she found herself in. She loved it. And it only gave the insecure voice in her head more ammunition to use against her; why can’t she allow her girlfriend to do this? She can never bring herself to accept it, but the day’s exertion had battered her defiance and left a hollow shell of her persona. If she looked in a mirror, she would probably be unrecognisable to herself. 

Sometimes, in her weakest moments, she thought you were better off without her. Better off not being dragged down by her miserable nature. You, the definition of beauty and light, with someone that exudes negativity and weakness. Someone that is the embodiment of imperfection with a person that is priceless. It didn’t make sense to her still, she wasn't sure it ever would.

“Every… everything is just so hard.” She spoke, letting out a shaky breath into the skin of your neck. You hummed sympathetically, giving her the space to elaborate whilst acknowledging what she had said. “Rehab is so tiring and I do not know why. I am not being given the space I need by the team to recover, they still expect so much from me and there is so much pressure. People online, the media and the fans, are talking about me a lot more than usual, which I do not understand because I am not even on the pitch. Some things that are being said are bad. And… I think I am not what you need, or deserve.”

Her face stayed hidden in your neck whilst she spoke, and you let her do that. Being vulnerable and open like that was hard, you didn’t underestimate that, and you would take it in any form because it was progress. You weren’t happy with what she had said because it broke your heart, but it was the first step of her opening herself up to help.

“Alexia, it is okay to feel overwhelmed. That sounds a lot like what you are feeling right now.” You started, your hand still slowly trailing up and down her back. “I’m so glad you told me, but I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. There’s things that can be put in place to help you.”

You plant the seed, subtly, that she can get help. But really, all you can focus on is the fact they are all things you can help with. With the majority of her admission, they are things that can be changed to lessen the load of her newfound daily life after her second surgery. The last part, you know you can help with indefinitely. It won’t be quick, nor will it be easy, but reminding her of how much you value her is something you planned to do for the rest of your life anyway. Perhaps you just had to do it a bit more than you initially thought.

“You can talk to the team, tell them exactly what you need. They’re sensible, you know that, they’ll do whatever you need them to do. You just need to have the bravery to ask for help, which is a difficult step in itself, but I know you can do it. You’ve told me what’s on your mind and that’s something I’m not taking for granted because I understand it doesn’t come easy to you, and for that I’m so proud of you. So proud. And if you want me to help you come up with a plan of what you need or what you will say to the club, I can help you with that.” 

“You will help me?” She murmured, lifting her head up to look down at you with red, tired eyes and tear streaks down her cheeks. You smiled up at her and nodded, unwinding an arm from around her to brush the damp tracks away.

“With anything. Anything at all, I promise.” You told her, hoping the mixture of your words and the sincerity in your voice conveyed all that you wanted her to understand. “I also think you would benefit from a break from social media and most things online. Why don’t you ask someone on your team to run your accounts for you for a little while? Or ask your agent to hire someone to do that? I think it will be good to step away from that so you can focus on the important things.”

“I have thought about it before.” Alexia revealed a moment later. “I will do that. I should have done it a long time ago. I am thinking about going to see the psychologist for some… help. I will book a session with her tomorrow.”

She seemed to be doing better than she was when you first walked in on her. Her voice wasn’t so rough, it no longer sounded like it was taking every ounce of energy to get her words out, and her breathing was a lot more even than it was a few minutes beforehand. Accepting help didn’t seem so terrifying when the words were coming out of your mouth.

Where before, she was deterred by the idea of reaching out, too focused on her shame to find a way out of her turmoil, now she didn’t feel so scared by it. For so long, the world seemed like a tunnel with no end, but now there’s a crack, however small, giving her a glimpse of what life she could live without being restricted by her burdens. The idea that help is available felt foreign to her, and though she might still be uncertain about the path that had been offered to her, in your arms comforted by the thought of having someone to guide her down it, she found that she could breathe a little easier. There’s a sense of possibility, of no longer having to walk alone.

Hope was beginning to brew inside of her, and she felt compelled to reach out and grasp it with both hands. There was a quiet flicker of warmth that took the place of the cold numbness that once lived on inside her. Neither of you had all the answers in that moment, change doesn’t happen overnight and you both know that, and because of that there is a delicate balance of fear and relief that settled between you. 

It’s the first time since Alexia can remember that she felt like maybe things could change for the better.

“Good. Both those things will be so good for you. I’m so proud of you.” You said, turning to kiss her forehead. 

“It’s not up to you to decide what I need or deserve. I do need you, and I do deserve you. You’re the only one I could ever want, now that I’ve met you I know I could never be with anyone else again. You are struggling, and that’s okay. I’ll be here at your lowest, I’ll be here at your highest, and I know you would do the same for me. You know I love you, right?” 

At your declaration, especially the last part which she had heard a few times now, her heart clenched as she squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted to sob again, but out of pure happiness, because regardless of how many times you would say it to her over your lives, it would still be the most important statement to her. Hearing it at that very moment was so important.

“I do. I really do, amor. I just… sometimes I do not understand why.”

You pursed your lips at her response, wondering why the world had to treat her so poorly that her self-worth had been reduced to something so unimportant to her. You know for a fact there’s probably millions of people out there that idolise her, think of her as a hero, the perfect role model, but you also know that the insecurities she had weren’t on Alexia Putellas’ behalf. They were on Ale’s behalf. There were two versions of her, and the powerful woman that adorned the armband day-in and day-out for the club she’s committed her life to wasn’t the one combatting all these issues. It was just Ale, your girlfriend, her mother’s daughter, her sister’s older sibling, her aunt and uncle's niece, the ever-reliant and trustworthy companion of her friends. 

Alexia knew that, and you did too. You couldn’t begin to imagine how difficult that must be to juggle for Alexia, leading two extraordinarily different lives in one lifetime. You hope, with the right help, she can learn to allow them to co-exist together and not be so far away from each other. She had expressed similar thoughts to you before, how difficult she finds it switching between the two everyday, though you knew she probably hadn’t even scratched the surface about how much it affected her. 

You were content with not being fully clued in, because there were some things that people preferred to keep private, and for Alexia one of those things was her thoughts. Your mission was to help her deal with those healthily, unlike how she had for the past god knows how long. Whatever worked for her, worked for you.

“You don’t need to worry about that. I’m secure in my love for you, and that’s enough. I know you love me too. That’s all we need.” 

After that day, it was as if a switch had been flicked. There was a distinct difference in her, in all aspects of her life, and she seemed truly happy. You had come to understand that you couldn’t wholly fix her, especially not just with words. All you could do was love her, which you would do for as long as she would let you.

So you met her defiance with kindness, her feigned confidence with support, and her insecurities with reassurance. And slowly, you began to see the progress in her. Truthfully, it might be one of the most beautiful things you'd ever had the privilege to witness. Allowing yourself to feel every ounce of your joy made it easier for Alexia to grow and settle into that prospect of living too. 

Not only did the counselling help her mental health, it made her better at communication, understanding, and just about every other thing that you didn’t even think needed improving in the first place. Each day, you adored her more and more. It takes a lot to accept help, but it’s an entirely different thing to wake up every morning and get out of bed, knowing what lies ahead was unexplainably difficult to overcome but facing it head on anyway.

However, the biggest evident difference came when she was cleared to play football again. With each milestone, came a newer, happier version. First it was being substituted on, stepping foot in a game after months of waiting, and straight after, it was her first goal back. The rain couldn’t dampen her spirits that day, nothing could, because thought past-Alexia would be disappointed with how scrappy the goal was, the new version of her was just happy to have a ball at her feet and making a difference for her team. Maybe past-Alexia would be angry with that fact too, at how overjoyed she was with a goal like that, but she didn’t dwell on that for too long. She was trying to change and she was making better progress than she could have dreamed of, she wasn’t going to stop that.

Her hard work was clear to see in the ache in her cheeks from the amount of time she spent smiling, something she didn’t even realise she had missed. Months down the line and she was in the best place mentally than she had been all her life. With that realisation, came the understanding that sometimes things have to fall down before they can be rebuilt again. She had that moment where she broke, in your arms, and since then she had rebuilt her life. The bad goes in hand with the good, and the highs are undoubtedly worth the lows. 

Though, she still wasn’t perfect, no matter how badly that irritated her. Every part of her had improved, apart from the one thing she did it all for. It did happen less often, but she still doubted her capabilities as a girlfriend. She still worried she wasn’t good enough for you. The cloudy days of anxiety were nowhere near as frequent as they used to be, but they didn’t magically stop. That was still something she had to come to terms with.

—

A particularly harsh bout of anxiety hit one day, something that filled her unease because she thought these kinds of days weren’t supposed to happen anymore. Yet, here she was, lay in your arms as the toxic cycle of doubt circled endlessly in her mind. She tried, with all her might, to shove the thoughts to the side, to rebuke them and not let them ruin her evening, but they came thick and fast and there was simply no stopping them. 

Something her psychologist had told her was that sometimes she just has to sit and let those feelings be. Thinking about how much she loathed them wouldn’t help, that would probably just make them worse. And taking the doubts and fuelling them by ruminating wouldn’t help either. But sitting there and letting them consume her as she did nothing to stop didn’t feel useful. So she let them come, and she took each knot of insecurity and made them bigger.

Nearly every moment of the last few months was tainted by the regret she felt. She really would give anything, she'd sacrifice it all, to go back and show her affection and appreciation more. From the moment she saw you, she knew you were special. She felt like she did a terrible job to show that, to the point where she wondered how she even found herself here right now with you. 

Alexia had never really experienced impostor syndrome before, and she wasn't exactly sure that was the right term for the cloud of anxiety she was experiencing. She didn't doubt her love for you, in fact she was sure she had never loved a human as much as she loved you. It's just that, even after all this time, she still didn't think she deserved to be on the receiving end of such an idyllic thing, especially at your hands.

Her biggest fear, after all this time still, was losing you. Out of all the emotions that she had experienced in the past months, there was one that reigned superior throughout: disappointment.

Disappointment that was aimed entirely at herself. Disappointment that had so many things tied into it, she could hardly keep up. Guilt, shame, embarrassment, when she dumbed it down it all led to that same disappointment she just couldn’t get rid of. 

She knows where she’s gone wrong all this time, she sort of knows why now thanks to her psychologist, but she has no idea how to stop that pattern of thinking, that she doesn’t deserve you. And because of that, a certain feeling of distaste for herself had grown over time, and it sat nestled in the back of her mind. It’s there, always, and it’s not afraid to make itself known. In the most unsuspecting moments, it comes seeping through the cracks of her mind, weaving its way into each and every aspect of her life, whether that be her memories or the present. Another fear of hers was that this disdain wouldn’t ever leave, even with hours spent in counselling and working on herself.

Like now. Even when she’s in your embrace, all she could think about is the guilt she had harboured for so long now, that at this point it felt like a tumour she had ignored for too long, one that had grown so big that it was now impossible to remove without causing more damage than good.

“Ale? You okay?” Your voice brought her back into the room, adding another crack to the fragile glass box Alexia kept her thoughts inside. The blonde felt like that box could shatter again anytime soon, and that would mean all of them could come spilling straight out. And that would be the end of it all, for good this time. Not like the other occasion where you welcomed her with open arms. Surely you would finally recognise you were sick of her when she inevitably falls apart once more.

“Hm? Sí, bien.” She smiled, a tight-lipped one that didn't even come close to reaching her eyes. 

You knew what that was a sign of.

“Ale.” You said softly, hoping you didn’t have to fight her for her to admit there was something wrong.

“I’m okay, mi amor. I’m just going to go to the bathroom, I will be back soon.” She rose to her arms, surging forward to leave a kiss to your lips before you could protest. Then, she was gone, rounding the corner of the lounge into the apartment corridor, leaving you confused.

Five minutes passed by and you let her be, giving her her privacy. But then five minutes turned to ten, and ten to fifteen, and you couldn’t hold off any longer. Just as you expected, when you passed the main bathroom, the door was open and the light was off. It was then, when you looked to your left, you saw Alexia through the crack left by the ajar bedroom door, sat on the edge of the bed facing away. Her shoulders were slightly slumped, her elbows were on her knees, and she was looking out of the window across from her. The only positive was that you couldn’t hear sniffling coming from her this time.

The door creaked as you lightly pushed it open, but the blonde didn’t acknowledge it. At that, you stepped in and kneeled on the bed, making your way to sit behind Alexia and wrap your arms around her as your legs fell either side of hers whilst your cheek came to rest in between her shoulders.

Neither of you spoke; you didn’t want to pressure her into speaking just yet, and Alexia was building up the courage to finally get the last plaguing insecurity off her chest. It’s late evening, the sun growing ever-closer to the horizon, and the only light in the room was the orange haze of the sky, softening every feature of your girlfriend’s face with a golden touch. The light added to her vulnerability, acting as a lamp that displayed the most beautiful artwork you could imagine in a gallery. 

For some time, there’s no movement within the room. Alexia doesn’t tear her eyes away from the sunset before her, though the look that’s embedded in the hazel and amber there is distant, lost in a maze of her own mind that she desperately tried to escape from so she could give you the answers you’re hoping for. The only movement you make is the sporadic kisses you dot over her back, as well as the soft, comforting movements of your thumb over her ribs where your hands sit. 

The silence was weighted, though not with awkwardness or impatience, but with understanding – a silent invitation to speak without any pressure or expectations. In the quiet space you've provided, no words are needed, only the steady warmth of your body against hers that offers a subtle, grounding reminder that Alexia is not alone, and she never will be. You would always be there to give that to her.

“I love you.” Alexia broke the silence but not the bubble of serenity, producing a sentence that was far more layered than anyone outside of this room would ever understand.

“I know.” You reminded her, hugging her tighter back against you.

“I wish I could go back and redo it all.” She stated, a heaviness to it that had you smiling sadly.

“Redo what?”

“Our relationship.” The footballer didn’t miss the way you tensed ever so slightly, nor did she miss how you lifted your head up from its place on her back. “I am so happy I met you. I feel so lucky that you love me, that you chose me, even when I have been a mess. I would only change how I acted, because I feel like I have not properly shown you how much I love you. How special you are. I wish you had got the love you deserved rather than the coldness I showed because… I don’t think I have been a very good partner to you.”

Some time ago, you had guessed this was a part of Alexia’s anxiety, and that point had been proven when she admitted a few months back that she felt you deserved better. But you didn’t know that it troubled her to this extent. She believed the doubtful voice in the back of her mind so much that she truly thought she wasn’t worthy enough of this relationship. That killed you, because she had been nothing but perfect, despite her personal struggles, from the moment you met her.

“You were not cold, Alexia.” You started, kissing the back of her neck before continuing. “You were the opposite. You were warm and kind-hearted. You were compassionate and honest. I look back on those days so fondly because of how you made me feel. From the very first date, you allowed me to be myself and that was something that meant so much to me. And since then, you still surprise me all the time with how amazing you are. To put it simply, Ale, I wouldn't be here if you were cold or a bad partner. There is nobody else for me, it's only you and it'll always be you.”

Maybe this was the one inadequacy you could fix with your words. 

“You really think of me like that?” Alexia asked in a sheepish whisper, turning her head slightly to look at you over her shoulder. You smiled brightly, nodded, and shuffled to sit beside her. One hand came up to rest on her cheek as you leaned forward and kissed her, soft and tentative, to convey all you could never find the words to tell her.

“I do think of you like that.” You whispered against her lips, foreheads together as your thumb lightly brushed over her lower lip. “And I hope one day you can look back and not see your flaws, but instead see the woman I fell in love with.”

She nodded because quite frankly she was speechless. And then there were tears filling her eyes that neither of you expected, which had you moving again as you slotted yourself into her lap. Her head fell to your chest, pulling you against her in a tight embrace. Your arms came around her neck, one laying across her shoulders and the other resting on the back of her head. 

Your words slowly began to sunk in, finally, which was a weirdly cathartic feeling for Alexia. She wasn't sure why it was this specific moment that something snapped inside of her, but it did. What was once a topic that consumed her, took over her every thought and switched it with a venomous onslaught of overthinking suddenly started forming into a thing of the past.

All along, Alexia had no idea just how deep your understanding ran about her insecurity with the love she has to offer. She thought you weren't aware of the guilt she felt and the struggles she experienced, but you were. That, and more. She could never repay you for that. All she could do was love you for a lifetime and hope that was enough.

Half a year ago, you were just two people getting to know each other. You liked her and she liked you. You looked into each other’s eyes and saw a future together. Then, you both took that hope, nurtured it, and made a life for yourselves, together. 

To anyone on the outside, this wouldn't seem like such a huge milestone. But to you and Alexia, this was a major turning point, for the better. Something like this wasn't expected when you first met, but that's the thing about love, isn't it? Nothing good comes easy, a part of life that Alexia had come to accept. Because it was so, so worth it in the end.

—

this fic was a little different but i hope it was good. first one that i have posted in the midst of my writing anxiety so i may or may not be terrified of posting this but well it's out now anyway. hope you enjoyed it <3

[armysantiny]

-[chan; soft bf headcanon

P: Chan x gender neutral reader | G: fluff, headcanon | Inc: graphic designer!reader, getting together, friends to lovers, the rest of skz being (lovingly) fed up, date nights, late night walks | Wc: 503 | W: none iirc | R: G

My favourite single father of seven/j

Meeting Chan was almost fate, honestly

You’re a graphic designer and happen to love designing album covers

Stray Kids were finishing up an album and needed a graphic designer to help create the album covers

Lo and behold~

You and Chan meet!

Bonding during meeting after meeting while the creative process goes about working its magic

The bonding sessions turn into dropping by each other’s workspace

By which I mean you  visiting Chan’s studio pretty much every time you have a lunch break and bringing a snack with you

Which he greatly appreciates <3

Because he never leaves that room/j

The speed at which you two become best friends is impeccable

Very much a duo – especially the kind that are always seen hanging out together

The feelings start not too long after too

There is one problem though... you’re both oblivious

Painfully oblivious

Somehow you both can’t see that the other is head over heels, and it doesn’t take long for the rest of skz to start taking matters into their own hands

They love you, really, but the running around in circles is going to drive them a little mad

Just a little :D

They keep trying to bash hints over your heads

Which is ironic because the confession happens so quickly

Catches everyone off guard fr

The two of you are hanging out late and it gets blurted out

Cue quick discussion over what you want in a relationship and boom—

Y’all are a couple now! Everyone liked that

Chan being your boyfriend comes with seven other people because none of these men know what the meaning of the phrase personal space is

Baby I don’t make the rules here, this is just the truth

You take it in stride though, which Chan appreciates

Oh yeah, and this man is a hugger

A certified cuddler I’m telling you

I’m convinced he needs his arms around you for thirty minutes a day, every day, at least

Will have you sit in his lap while he works so he can get his daily y/n cuddles

Try to move and watch him whine I swear—

Do you not want his affection anymore??/j

Lmao but despite how busy the both of you are, date nights are wonderful

He plans dinner reservations on days you’re both free and refuses to listen to anyone asking him to work

Date nights are for the two of you and the two of you only <33

Walks hand-in-hand with you after dinner and you stop by a few stalls

If you happen to pass by an arcade, he’s gonna win you a plushie from the claw machine

Sure he spends a little too much on it, but it’s all good fun

Especially worth it to see your face when he does win a plushie

And sure, your friends are more than happy that you’re dating Chan

But they are a little jealous

Because who doesn’t want a relationship like yours

You lucky darling, you~

© copyright work of armysantiny 2024-2025

Networks: @kwritersworld, @kdiarynet, @ultkpopnetwork, @whipped-kpop-creators

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! Consider reblogging, leaving some feedback or donating to my kofi!

Taglist: @teeztheflag, @jeonqquk, @mikailo666, @kkooongie, @xavi-in-kpopland, @marxenash, @borahae-reads, @tinystarstay | Taglist form

[verstappentime]

hey btw charles refusing to drive the car until someone looked at it today was fantastic. i don't want to hear for a second that he was being whiney. 1) he was right and this allowed the problem to be solved but 2) THAT'S a driver who is taking control. people always ask why charles doesn't stand up to his team when given a shit strategy. this time he insisted on what he needed. 3) bryan's new to him and charles is setting a precedent to create a different relationship than he had with xavi. he wants his questions answered and he wants his opinion heard! and he made it heard! i was so proud of him today. and impressed with his ability to feel the issue that his engineers weren't seeing. any results he has this weekend will be derived from this moment.

[lecsainz]

my brother's friend

pairings: max verstappen x leclerc!reader

summary: the one where you're charles' sister and dating one of his friends, max.

authors note: I absolutely love writing smau!! sometimes I want to include all the ideas I have, but I'm afraid it will end up being tooooo longgggg

masterlist!

yn_leclerc

liked by leclerc_pascale, danielricciardo , and 250.786 others

yn_leclerc a little photo dump from this week, and let's pretend that I didn't spend this entire weekend with max away from the ferrari paddock 🤭

view all 3.264 comments

maxverstappen1 blue looks good on you 😍

yn_leclerc I know! 😘

lestappen these photos are the ultimate boyfriend material

redbullwins the best couple on the grid

arthur_leclerc traitor 😔

yn_leclerc who? arthur_leclerc you! yn_leclerc no, who asked you?

charles_leclerc what shirt is that, y/n?? it's horrifying, my eyes are bleeding

yn_leclerc your problem, not mine. 🫶

lorenzotl but to grab some food, you were there in the ferrari paddock

yn_leclerc lorenzo! shhhhhh lorenzotl I'm just stating the truth yn_leclerc red bull doesn't have italian food 😭 what could I do? arthur_leclerc spend the weekend with us

leclercmoves I'm loving this

riccnorris HER WEARING A RED BULL SHIRT

yn_leclerc

yn_leclerc always a ferrari girl, and no, my brothers didn't force me to post this 😁

view all 3.264 comments

lercsainz xavi out!

liked by yn_leclerc and others

arthur_leclerc why isn't there a picture of me too?

yn_leclerc cause you're annoying arthur_leclerc seriously?! just yesterday you said I was your favorite sibling charles_leclerc everyone knows it's me! yn_leclerc actually, it's enzo

maxverstappen1 I missed seeing you in my motorhome

yn_leclerc christian said I'm not allowed in there wearing ferrari clothes, love maxverstappen1 oh he did? I think I'm going to have a little chat with the red bull team

sebredbull max activating the madmax mode

cl16 I miss seeing y/n in ferrari clothing

redbullracing am I the only one who thinks that the red bull blue is her color?

scuderiaferrari no way! the ferrari red is so much better landonorris I think orange is her color yn_leclerc never lando! you forced me to wear that hoodie and I looked so ugly danielricciardo I remember max almost having a heart attack seeing her in that hoodie pierregasly I thought lando would die that day 😅

yn_leclerc added to their story

maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1 look in my eyes, they will tell you the truth the girl in my story has always been you

tag: yn_leclerc

comments have been limited

yn_leclerc I love you so much 🤍

maxverstappen1 I love you too, mijn schat (my treasure)

yn_leclerc

liked by leclerc_pascale, danielricciardo , and 956.384 others

yn_leclerc life has been full of surprises lately and I couldn't be happier to announce that I said YES to forever with the love of my life! couldn't imagine my life without this incredible man by my side. love you, max! and that's not all... we have an extra little passenger on board! baby leclerc-verstappen coming soon! the joy and excitement we feel right now is indescribable we can't wait to welcome our little one into the world and create beautiful memories together as a family

tag: maxverstappen1

comments have been limited

maxverstappen1 I couldn't be more grateful and excited for this next chapter of our lives. y/n, you've made me the happiest man on earth. thank you for choosing me to be your partner in this incredible journey. I love you endlessly, schatje (sweetheart)

charles_leclerc wow, can't believe you're becoming a mom, y/n. you've always been my little sister! it's a beautiful journey you and max are on. wishing you all the love and happiness in this new chapter. I'm here to support you always! ❤️

arthur_leclerc congrats on the engagement and baby news, though! can't wait to become the coolest uncle ever. love you

charles_leclerc let's face it, I'm going to be the best uncle yn_leclerc I think enzo beats you guys lorenzotl I think so too charles_leclerc you think nothing. arthur_leclerc I'm going to be the best uncle, end of story yn_leclerc if you say so 🤭 arthur_leclerc Y/N! yn_leclerc I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING

lorenzotl congratulations, y/n and max! so happy for you both and excited to be an uncle. sending all the love and happiness your way

leclerc_pascale oh mon petit chou, je suis tellement fière de toi et de ta belle vie! congratulations on your engagement and the upcoming arrival of our little baby! you've truly found your happily ever after, and I couldn't be happier for you. sending all my love and blessings to you, max and our precious leclerc-verstappen baby. love, your adoring maman 💕(my little cabbage, I'm so proud of you and your beautiful life!)

maxverstappen1

liked by lewishamilton, schecoperez , and 1.572.105 others

maxverstappen1 words can't express the love and joy we feel as we hold our little one in our arms, from the moment we found out we were expecting the anticipation and excitement have been off the charts. now, seeing this tiny human who carries both our love and our dreams, it's a feeling like no other ❤️ to my beautiful fiancée, y/n, you continue to amaze me with your grace and resilience. seeing you bring our little racer into this world has filled my heart with an indescribable joy. I am beyond grateful for the incredible woman you are and I can't wait to continue this incredible journey together as a family

tag: yn_leclerc

view all 9.762 comments

yn_leclerc you've stolen my heart all over again with this heartfelt message, max. our little one is a true blessing, a beautiful reflection of our love and dreams. I'm endlessly grateful to be by your side, witnessing the incredible love and joy you bring as a father. I am so incredibly blessed to have you by my side on this beautiful journey ❤️

charles_leclerc I'm so happy for you both, and I can't wait for the day when the little one is old enough to choose ferrari as their favorite team!

maxverstappen1 definitely not! the baby will be rooting for redbull! charles_leclerc we'll see about that! 👀

alex_albon I think we all know who the obvious choice for the godfather is... me! I mean, have you seen my skills with the little ones? 😁

danielricciardo oh, come on, albon! we need someone with real charisma and charm to be the godfather. that's where I step in, mate. I'll bring the laughs, the smiles, and the epic shoey celebrations! carlossainz55 hold up! I'm the perfect candidate for the godfather gig. think about it - I'll bring the spanish flair, the fiestas, and the best paella you've ever tasted landonorris sorry guys, but it's clear that I'm the most qualified for this role. I'll be the cool, fun-loving godfather who introduces the kid to the world of gaming, memes, and, of course, helmet design maxverstappen1 alright, alright, boys. I hate to break it to you, but we've already made our decision, and none of you made the cut carlossainz55 WHAT?? danielricciardo we were friends, max and y/n 😭 landonorris who is better than me??? alex_albon I feel betrayed

verstlercs I'M SCREAMING, CRYING, AND FREAKING OUT

f1number1 leclerc-verstappen family, something nobody saw coming

scuderiaferrari oh, we all know this little one is destined to be a future ferrari driver! welcome to the scuderia, baby leclerc-verstappen!

redbullracing this little racer is definitely going to join the red bull family and experience the thrill of flying on the track! get ready for some high-speed action! scuderiaferrari dream on, red bull! our legacy and history speak for themselves. this baby will be rocking the prancing horse on their chest, just like their talented uncles! redbullracing talent? speed? innovation? that's what red bull stands for! This little champion will be tearing up the circuits in our car, guaranteed! charles_leclerc can I place my bet? I say the baby will race for ferrari, just like their dear old uncle charles! maxverstappen1 sorry, bro! the baby will follow in their old man's footsteps and race for red bull. it's in their blood!

[gavisfanta]

KISS ME - PEDRI

summary: you dont want to kiss pedri.

warnings: none

You just walked outside as you heard your phone ringing in your pocket.

By pulling out the phone you saw Pedri drive up to you and him holding his phone in his hand. As he saw that you were standing in front of the building he leaned over the center console he opened the car door for you.

While smiling widely you walked over to the car and opened the door wider so you could get inside.

"Hey Babe." You smiled while getting into his car, he however received a call while you were getting in and he only took your hand and pressed a small kiss on your knuckles.

You looked at him, he grew out his beard, you loved when he did that, he looked older and more manly. Not like he didn't look handsome when he shaved, you normally prefer him shaved but sometimes seeing him with a beard made you squeeze your legs together.

There was just one problem with his beard, it was hella itchy.

"Hey" You saw him mouth the words and you gave him a smile while he started the car.

After he finally ended the call you two were just a few minutes away from Ciudad Esportiva. "So how are you, I'm sorry but I had to pick that up." Pedri turned to face you for a second.

A big smile on your face made it almost unable to speak. "I'm amazing, how are you, ready for practice?" You asked him too, then you felt his hand on your inner tigh, running small circles into your skin with his thumb.

You came to a stop at the very front of Ciudad because of the red light, that was when Pedri leaned over to you and wanted to kiss you, but you pulled away. As he realized that you pulled away, he opened his eyes and looked at you, his mouth slightly hanging open.

He stared at you for a couple of seconds and then turned his head away, you saw a couple of fans run up to the car.

"No babe-" You tried to say as you saw that he looked a bit hurt after you pulled away. You put your hand on his tigh and he started driving up to the parking lots.

He waved at the fans and then went back to driving. "No it's fine." Pedri said with an attitude. But when he parked down the car you grabbed his chin and made him look at you.

"Babe." You tilted your head a bit and then faced him. He shook his head.

"No, you pulled away, i don't care." He said and just as he wanted to open the door you pulled him back.

"Babe, its just that your beard is a bit itchy." That made Pedri turn around immediately.

"What? You don't like my beard?" He looked at himself in the review mirror and ran his hands along his jawline.

"I love it, it makes you look so so hot, but when it comes to kissing, it's itchy, you know." You said and Pedri immediately ignores it and leans closer to you.

"So, like this?" He kissed you trying not to touch you with his face.

"No" You said missing his touch more, a kiss isn't just when lips touch. Pedri turned off the car and then leaned over to you again, carefully placing his lips on yours.

You couldn't help but smile at how gentle he is with you. He brushes his tongue against your bottom lip and then just as he pushes his tongue inside your mouth your two hear a knock on the car window.

You pulled away from Pedri and looked behind you only to come face to face with the young midfielder Gavi.

Gavi grabbed the doorhandle and pulled the door open. You unbuckled your seatbelt and turned to face him in surprise.

"This is disgusting, and also right before practice? You can't be serious." Gavi fumbled around with his hands and a laugh escaped your lips.

"You're just jealous." Pedri said and Gavi's eyes widened.

"You're just an idiot, now come on. I can guide you to the pitch." Gavi said and you got out of the car and walked next to him.

You turned around and saw Pedri jogging to catch up with the two of you. "Where's Xavi?" You asked and looked around as Pedri, Gavi and you arrived at the pitch.

"He's in the locker rooms. So, see you later." Gavi waved at you while walking away to get changed.

"He's so annoying sometimes." Pedri rolls his eyes as he stands in front of you.

"He's still young, also I don't really mind because he's funny while he's annoying." You laughed a bit and he smiled while leaning down to you.

"I'll see you after practice." He leaned closer to you and pushed his lips into his, your salvia colliding as you two shared a passionate kiss.

"Bye." You pulled away and then Pedri winked at you before walking away too.

That beard did things to you.

[adventuringblind]

Can I request an angst fic where reader is charles sister and she gets into accident (car accident or like wrong place wring time robbery, anything really) while he's in a race (lorenzo, arthur and their mother is with them) and xavi (🤢) is the one who answers charles' phone and decided not to say anything even after charles finishes the race and then the entire leclerc family find out after a reporter tells charles that "your nerves must be made of steel" and then everyone is confused and the reporter is all like "did no one tell you about your sister?" And like full angst when they find out that the accident hurt reader really bad (has problems with sight or maybe walking permanently, only if you're comfortable writing that) end it however you want, only if you want and if you are comfortable with this kind of stuff

Like Steel

Platonic!charles Leclerc x Sister!Reader

Genre: angst to fluff

Summary: Charles and his twin sister have always been close. Even being able to sense when something is wrong with the other. When Charles get confirmation after a race he was right, someone is to blame for his not knowing.

Warnings: car accidents, driving under the influence, hospitals

Notes: Xavi needs to get fired so my boy can have a chance. Also I don’t care if people smoke weed, but the amount of times I’ve almost been hit because someone was hotboxing their car is absolutely ridiculous.

Masterlist

To say Charles is close with his twin is an understatement. They are practically glued at the hip. They know what the other is thinking or feeling before any communication is had. Their connection to each other was concerning at first. But anyone could see that the Leclerc twins are just close.

Charles had been there through all of her breakups. Both with guys he did and didn’t like. She had been there through every step in his racing career.

It’s funny to say steps now, he thinks. Since his sister can no longer take any.

She’d gotten a job as the admin for the Ferrari instagram. She loved chasing around Charles and Carlos so the fans could see what they got up to in their down time.

She has a contagious smile that everyone can’t help but love. Her and Daniel were menaces to the paddock while he did media things for Redbull.

She’d been on her way to the paddock for her brothers home race. Monaco was the only race on the calendar where she got to wake up at home to go to work in the morning. She had a few PR things to do around the city first before she could head to the track. So she’d left pretty early. Deciding to walk since everything is so close together.

Charles knew she hated being late. Maybe that’s why the alarm bells were going off before he got in the car.

He’d waiting for her to show at the meetings. Then again while he was getting ready. He search before he got into his car. Then looked for her when her when he got to his grid box.

He felt it in the pit of his stomach that something had happened.

He’d managed to end the race in in first. Something that didn’t happen often so he was ecstatic. The thing every driver craves was once again in his hands. His family was there when he got out of his car. All except the one person he wanted to celebrate with most. Maybe she’d just gotten caught up in her duties?

It was his turn to interview. The smile on his face and cheers of the crowd made the endorphins in his brain skyrocket.

“Congratulations Charles! You must have nerves like steel out there!”

Nerves? Why nerves? He’s not nervous.

The reporter caught onto his confusion. “We’re you not made aware of your sister?”

“No what happened? Where is she?”

The reporter signaled to turn the camera elsewhere. Then walked to Charles to let him know in a normal conversation fashion. He’s grateful because not many would do that. “She was hit by a car this morning and is in the hospital.”

His heart sank. He looked to his family and by their shocked expressions they also didn’t know.

“Your race engineer Xavi said he got word off it right before the race. We figured you’d been told already. I’m sorry for the mix-up.”

“No it’s okay that’s not on you.” The he’s walking away. His team doesn’t try to stop him and he tells Carlos to stand in his place on the podium. He’s lost to many people already. He refuses to also lose his sister.

He doesn’t remember the car ride. Only the angry feeling knowing at his insides. He saw the call Xavi had answered in his call log. They didn’t call anyone else since technically, he picked up.

The rage towards his race engineer is not helping him think clearly. If she dies and Charles isn't there for her, he's never going to forgive himself.

~

He broke.

He saw her in the bed with machines and tubes everywhere, and he broke. He sobbed into his mother's arms. Lorenzo and Aruther trying to console each other next to them.

It's ridiculous, he thinks, how one person can attract so much death. Maybe it's to soon to say she's dead but by the look of things, she's halfway there.

He stays with her. Her hurts for her. Their stupidly strong connection makes this all the more difficult.

Pascale has forced him to leave her bedside on multiple occasions. But he always goes begrudgingly and under the stipulation that someone will get him if there are any updates.

It’s a month before she finally wakes up. Coughing and panicking. Charles is at her side immediately. Fate is certainly on his side today.

“What happened?” She asks after she could finally talk again. Though her voice is raspy and dry.

“You were walking to the track and got hit by a car. They were smoking marijuana so they didn’t see you.” Oh how Charles raged about that too when he found out. The stupidity of people sometimes amazes him.

The next words out of her mouth make him think that fate is just playing games with him at some point.

“Charlie, I can’t feel my legs.”

~

Turns out the car they hit her shattered a part of her spine, leaving her paralyzed. Now bound to a wheelchair.

Charles had to go back to traveling while she was doing physical therapy. She’s doing her best to learn how to do life now with her new set of circumstances. She did think it was funny getting to zoom around in her wheelchair and whizzing past her brother.

Her first appearance back at the paddock is a surprise to all. Mainly because she intended it to be that way.

She navigates down the busy path towards the Ferrari hospitality, her mother trying to keep up.

She missed being here. Seeing everyone so excited about the sport.

She came to a skidding halt at the door. Curse the stairs. Why don't they have a ramp? She'll be having words with Charles about this later.

"Maman! Can you help me please!"

It takes effort. She's still not quite used to everything but she's learning.

She successfully gets inside the door and into the main area of hospitality. Hugs greet her as some of the staff make their way over.

Now, the next part of this plan. Her mother calls Charles and puts it on speaker.

"Hello?"

"Charlie, I just got word about your sister. I'm in hospitality-" She puts on her best worried parent voice.

"I'm on my way."

It takes approximately three minutes, and Charles is barreling through the door of security. His oblivieness becomes obvious as he misses her sitting in the middle of the room and is worriedly hugging his mom and asking her frantic questions.

"Is she- why are you laughing?"

Pascale is crying from laughing so hard. She gestures to where her daughter is waving and trying to get her brothers attention.

"Oh my god. You scared me so bad! Don't ever do that again!" He scolds them both. Then her embraces his sister.

"I'm excited to see you here!"

"Any news about Xavi?"

"He finally quit a couple days ago. I basically ignored him the last few races."

"And you've been doing better? You've won twice this month."

"And if I ever see him again, I'll make sure he never wants to be near an F1 car again."

[thepixelelf]

Oh Baby, You Pt. 53 - Everything is Fine

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The birth of your son three years ago was what caused your breakup with Wonwoo, your longtime (and at that point, long distance) partner. Now, you're getting concerned that Orion is starting to look a lot like his dad, but that's not your only problem. Wonwoo is back… and he's living across the hall.

•

oby tagging 1, 50/50: @shiningstar-byulxx @shuabby-woowoo @90s-belladonna @xavi-in-kpopland @xmessaroundx @chwevernonlover @kwanisms @dalamjisung @crazywittysassy @butterfliesinthenightsky @ddaengpotate @vanishingboots @potatofrieswithketchup @minhwa @oncecaratorbit @royal9 @doodlelibrary @yksthings @amosmortese @jaeskz @woozarts @my-chaos-in-stars @yoonychoik @ksywoo @kellesvt @candidupped @sharkipoonis @wooahaeproductions @hellodefthings @woozisguitar @jvhoons @woo8hao @sxftiell @thewooziverse @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @nonononranghaee

[mikichko]

invisible red line pairing: john price x transmasc!reader cw: not a totally neutral reader as it's modeled after someone, pure fluff :) a/n: xavi (@buttdumplin) was one of the first people I met when I first joined this fandom and he's easily become one of my close friends. it's a little crazy to think that posting about some men would introduce me to one of my favorite people here. this piece is a gift to xavi as a way to thank him for the incredible friendship and kinship we share. xavito, yo se que nada que yo hago o escribo podrá encapsular todo el cariño y agradecimiento que yo tengo hacia ti. pero espero que con esta escritura sientas un poquito del cariño y amor que tu amistad me trae a mi 💕

Nothing else makes the world feel the way it does when John has his hands on you. Hand in hand, on the small of your back, on your hip pulling you to him, or on your chin tilting you up to meet his lips. He can’t name it, can’t quite place his fingers on the why, only knows there’s a comfort it provides. The noise of the world dampens with you in his arms, the flat of his palms on you. There are no threats to prepare for, no problems that need solving. It’s all tranquil here with you.

It’s what has him questioning his beliefs, pondering the idea of fate. John’s not a religious man. Not one to let others reap the glory of his hard work. It’s why he despises fate, it undermines him. He sneers at the mere idea of a predetermined life, one with a path set for him to follow. Like a mindless drone tethered to a track, no choice in which way it bends and curves into.

No, John Price has made every decision with intent. Has meticulously picked every single block used to build up his life. Molded the ones that had been damaged by incompetence and betrayals into solid rock for his foundation. He’s taken every step intentionally, navigated the turbulent waters to land himself right where he’s wanted. The stars had done nothing for him, he’d clawed his way there himself. 

And yet, here’s an anomaly he hadn’t accounted for. A soft sweet boy to temper out his rough edges. To run his hands over John’s brows and try to smooth out the wrinkles brought on by years of worry. Who pressed kisses to his cheek like they were something precious to him. Like John is worth something. 

When he’s at the receiving end of such care John has to wonder who sent him such a sweet thing. 

He knows he hasn’t earned it. Knows his hands have dripped blood, some of which had been wrongly spilled. Liquid sin staining the ivory of his hands before returning to the dirt. Hands like his should not be near his sweet boy. Should not be sullying his skin.

But years of restraint, bound to militaristic standards, years of depriving himself have made him hungry. He can’t help but chase selfishly for your touch, to bury his nose into you and breathe deeply, have his senses overwhelmed by you. Let himself be pressed so close to you it makes you squeal. He bats away your hands when you protest that you’ll hurt him, just pulls you closer onto him.

It’s pressed closely to you, your head laying on his chest, your warmth seeping into him and the cushions of the couch, that he thinks about fate again. He entertains the idea of the stars for once. Wondered for a split second if it was fate that he’d meet you or if he somehow clawed that to him as well.

- ooooo fancy flashback -

He thinks the universe is fucking with him when he spots you. Bitterness rising in the back of his throat as he watches from down the aisle. The laughter of the boys still rings in the back of his head, trading joyous stories of families with each other. It’s the one thing he’d neglected in this life. Any semblance of a family forgotten, problems needed solving and John made the sacrifice. For the greater good, he tells himself, it had to be done.

It’s what he mutters to himself whenever he remembers the chill of his flat back home. What he repeats when he wakes up to the chill of the air creeping up underneath his sheets, the bed empty next to him. 

It’s cruel for the universe to tempt him here. With a boy he just knows is a match for him, hidden away in a city in some landlocked piece of America. Kept secret from him by oceans, borders, and the vastness of America. Yet, here you are within reach. He tightens his hand on the handle of the six pack, the least offensive one he could find, and just watches. 

You're oblivious to the turmoil he’s in. Unaware of the silent battle that rages within him as his body fights to step towards you but his mind keeps him locked in place. All while you compare shaving cream brands for god’s sake. It’d be ridiculous if John hadn’t been starving for someone like you. If his mouth hadn’t dried, if his brain was still working the way it should. 

His feet only move when you float into the next aisle, mind, and body intent on keeping his eyes on you. He still keeps his distance, fiddling with the containers on his end of the aisle. The unfamiliarity of the products throws him for a moment, what the hell is sofrito? You thrive in it, grabbing what he assumes are your essentials seeing how you pick them while barely glancing at them. 

The casualness of your shopping is what gives him his opening. Your fingers grasp the long neck of a glass bottle, pulling it to you with ease. But, for whatever reason, it slips through your fingers and hurtles through the floor. John’s body moves on autopilot, the same it did when Soap had hurtled a knife towards an insubordinate officer. Soap had thrown it as a fear tactic, path angled to avoid harm. But he knows the bottle will absolutely shatter, shards cutting through the fabric of your pants, piercing skin, and staining the fabric with your own crimson life. He can’t have that.

He catches it before it makes contact with the ground, hand hovering a few centimeters above the ground before he straightens himself. 

“Careful with glass sweetheart. Can’t have pretty things like you damaged.” 

Your widened eyes blink before your face transforms in front of him. Your beautifully surprised expression morphs into a scowl, hand adjusting the grip on the basket. 

“I’m not a girl.”

John can only raise an eyebrow at you, eyes running over you without permission. He’s well aware. 

“Didn’t take you for one lad.” 

He lets it sit out in the open for a moment to gauge your response. You merely blink, the scowl easing a bit, the creases between your eyebrows dropping from three to one. Not what you were expecting. Well, you weren’t either, soft face hiding a rather fiery attitude from the looks of it. Someone had definitely put you here for him.

He offers you the bottle, “Trying to tell me that lads can’t be sweet too? Can’t be pretty?” 

It’s been years but he’s been around his boys enough. Kept his wit about him, clearly something that’ll help him win your favor. Likes the way his questions make your lips press inward, like you’re fighting a smile. He lets his eyes roam over you again. 

You lick your lips before responding, “Sorry. Just force of habit.”

John hums, “Nothing to be sorry for love. Like the boys who stand their ground.”

He sees you sway a little, shuffle backward just a little as you try to work out the meaning of his words. Your little inhale tells him you’re enjoying the attention. But you’re still fiddling with the basket, curling and uncurling your fingers on the handles. He doesn’t prod for a response, lets his eyes drift to the contents of your basket. It’s not the what that catches his attention, emboldens him a little more, but just how much of each item there is. He’s no expert but the mere fact you’ve got a basket tells John you’re not shopping for two. The lack of a band on your finger and objections to his comments fill in the rest of the gaps for him.

He can’t help himself, “Feel like I owe you something as an apology, for making you feel there was any need for clarification.”

He watches the silent battle you have, gnawing on your lip as you mull over his proposition. Your eyes flick down to the pack in his hand, “If that’s what you’re offering to share I think I’ll pass.” 

He grins back at you, hip cocking a bit while he looks down at you, “Can always take you somewhere acceptable for your more refined palette.”

You huff out a laugh, your basket finally landing in the ownership of your left hand. “Sorry sir, I’m not one for too many outings. More of a homebody.” You smile politely before your turn and start moving away from him. 

He tries not to dwell too much on the energy that shoots up his spine at your use of sir. Doesn’t even think twice before he follows behind you.

“Bit of a homebody myself love. Just a bit further from mine at the moment.”

“That why you have that pack of piss in your hands?”

He shrugs at your back, “Not too familiar with these plains, makes it difficult to find good liquor.”

You snort at that, “Guess you need a local to show you where to find the good stuff.” 

He comes to a stop right behind you, grinning at you as you turn to face him again, “That a yes to my offer then?”

Your shrug, attempt nonchalance, “We’ll see how movie night goes.”

Somehow he doesn’t fuck it up. He sees you once, investigated thoroughly by the black void that greets him at the door. He sees you again, a third time, and more. He beds you, marks you, and finally claims you as his own. You had him claimed since the beginning.

- ooooo back to the present -

He tightens his grip on you just a little, pressing a kiss to your forehead. The prickly sensation causes you to stir, eyes blinking slowly as you gain awareness of where you are. He hooks his fingers into the fabric to secure you to him. 

“Everything okay?” You mumble out sleepily.

He gives you another kiss, you hum happily against his chest. 

“Got you in my arms sweetheart, everything's perfect.”

[pablitogavii]

could you make a jealous fic with gavi❤️

Gavi has been acting jealous the moment you met Hector Fort. Anytime Hector was in the group, he would act all grumpy trying to touch you in some way. Today he pulled you on his lap and held your butt shamelessly in front of all his friend.

You were a shy girl so it felt a little uncomfortable for them all to see your boyfriend grabbing your ass like that. You pulled away from Pablo and sat besides him instead. That move made the boy steaming mad.

"I thought Xavi was going to spank my ass for being late!" Hector told the story and everyone including you laughed..well everyone but Pablo. His jaw was clenched and he was ready to explode.

"Que haces cabrón!? She's my girl, tío!" Pablo became confrontational with Hector after you went to the bathroom before getting ready to leave to go home with Gavi.

"Yo hice nada! Not my problem you're perro celoso Gavi!" Hector smirked and Gavi was about to get into his face when he heard your sweet voice calling his name ready to leave. Hector looked at you knowing that you were leaving with Gavi..yeah that's right she's mine cabrón! Gavi thought to himself.

"Pelotudo!" Pablo said walking away and getting close to you to grab his jacket and bag. He pulled you close while exiting knowing that everyone must be watching and Gavi wanted everyone to see.

"Amor what was that with Hector before we left?" you asked while sitting at your makeup vanity and taking off your makeup. You wished Pablo could control his impulses a bit better but also secretly loving your angry bird.

"Again with Hector!? Is he all you think about!?" Gavi was defensive and you knew what to do in these moments..he needed reassurance and you were shamelessly ready to prove him he owns every inch of you forever.

You walked to him sitting on his lap while he was on his phone looking into group chat until you took the phone from him to put it on the nightstand and have his whole attention.

"I could care less about him..all I care about is why my man is angry when there is no reason amor.." you tried being sweet to him to calm him down but Pablo was clearly still in his head.

"No reason!? You got off my lap princesa!" he said angrily but you still liked that he was using your nicknames..means he's not angry much.

"Because everyone was staring and I got shy..they already know I'm yours Pablo so stop worrying amor, hm?" you say moving his hair from his forehead and he sighed loudly shaking his head.

"I can't amorcito..you're a beautiful woman..and they all want you..especially Hector" he said and you shut him up with a kiss before he could continue down the rabbit hole. Can't he understand you don't want anything with him!?

"And yet here I am with you...in your bed..on your lap..belonging only to you Pablo Gavi" you whisper the last part with the smirk feeling him harden underneath his shorts. He liked to hear this..

"But you didn't want him to know that..that's why you got off my lap" Pablo was as stubborn as they come and now you were getting frustrated with his childish behavior and jealousy.

"Dios Pablo! You seriously think I want someone else after a year of being with you? " you said and he spoke before thinking again.

"All girls want him now" he said and now you were the one angry as you got off his lap again..he knew how stupid what he said was right now.

"So I'm like all girls now!? Fine Gavira!" you pulled away when he tried to reach to you retreating back to the bathroom to finish your night routine and shower.

Pablo peaked his head through the shower curtain to ask "amor can I join you?" but you were damned if he was going to bribe you like this. You shook your head disinterestingly.

"I'm not in the mood for that Pablo" you said and he left with a loud sigh just wanting to hold you again like before. If only he wasn't so damn impulssive!

You came back to bed and he was laying there in his boxers looking at you as you applied your sweet lotion and grabbed a book. Now he knew it was time for the silent treatment..

"Amor porfa don't ignore me..I know what I said was stupid..you're never gonna be like all girls..you're mi amor, mi ciela, mi vida corazón..porfa hablar conmigo" he was nuzzling his cleanly shaved chin into your neck and you giggled since it tickled.

"I don't want anyone Gavi.." you say and he nods kissing your lips passionately before pulling away to pull you down and toss your book away.

"Hm..you know calling me Gavi get's you playtime princesa" he smirked kissing your neck and you giggled blushing and nodding your head.

"I love you mi Gavi.." you say before he kisses your lips passionately.

"I love you mi princesa" he said into the kiss and you both smiled completely forgetting about little jealous antics you had a few minutes ago. <333

[vscabarca]

relax - pablo gavi

summary: gavi comes home exhausted after an intense week of football, but you‘re there to help him relax.

genre: fluff

———

gavi came home absolutely exhausted. It was the week before the game against Atlético Madrid, so xavi didn't give his players any rest, but kept pushing them to their limits. After an already intense practice, the coach then announced a spontaneous meeting, where they would discuss their tactics for the game.

already annoyed by the sudden change of plans and a headache forming, he stumbled into the meeting, sitting down next to araujo. what gavi didn't know, this meeting would take about two hours before he finally sat in his audi to head home. a sight left his lips as he looked at the time. 8:17pm. you were probably already done with dinner and left him a plate to eat.

you sat on the couch with your glasses on, trying to do some homework for the next day, as you heard the keys jingle, indicating gavi was home.

he stumbled into your shared apartment, holding his phone and keys in one hand, while the other held his backpack. his eyes were half closed already and his hair was all over the place. after finally looking up, his eyes met his girlfriends. you smiled softly at him when you saw the worn out boy standing in front of you.

"you look like you need a hug." you chuckled and walked over to him.

gavi only half smiled, but put his strong hands around your shoulders nevertheless. you knew how exhausted he must've been, so you let him hug you as long as he wanted to.

"i've missed you." he muffled and placed a soft peck on your neck.

"I've missed you too pablito." you spoke, holding his cheeks to give him a proper, long kiss.

"i already ate but i can warm it up for you, if you want." you spoke again, taking the backpack from his hands to put it away.

gavi just nodded sleepily, stumbling towards the kitchen.

you came back and prepared his food when Gavi whined in pain as he sat down. "Ow!" he growled, putting a hand on his lower back.

"does your back still hurt?" you asked him concerned and walked over to him, rubbing his back softly.

"mhm, i couldn't rest that much these last few weeks, so i guess the pain came back." he replied, leaning into your touch.

his back had been giving him problems for a while now. during a game, he received a blow from another player onto his lower back muscle and since then it hurt. over time it got better, but when gavi played a lot and couldn't rest properly, the pain came back. the physiotherapists at Barça said nothing could happen if he played through the pain, but his ability to perform at his best was restricted.

"how about i'll give you a massage after you're finished with eating? it helped the last time."

"yeah that would be nice, thank you amor." he replied and gave you a soft kiss to which you blushed in response. he ate dinner in silence, watching some videos on his phone while you got everything ready. gavi walked upstairs, his face contorted in pain with every step he took, until he reached the bedroom.

you patted the bed, indicating for gavi to lie down. with a plop, he was face down on the bed, eyes already closed.

"baby if you want me to massage you, you have to take your shirt off." you laughed at your boyfriend's silliness.

he was quiet for a second until he spoke.

"you could've just told me if you wanted to see my abs." he replied cockily as a joke to tease you.

you just shook your head, but secretly liked the view when Gavi stood in front of you shirtless. still with that cocky grin on his face he came closer, looking down at you.

"you like what you see, don't you?" gavi stepped even closer, only inches apart from each others faces.

"i'm trying to be all cute and helpful for you and you make me nervous over here. stop it." you replied only above a whisper.

he laughed out loud before pressing a gentle kiss on your lips.

"you are cute and helpful, but i love to see you all shy and blushing because of me."

finally laying on his stomach, you swung your legs on either side of Gavi, sitting on his butt.

"it's going to be cold for a sec, sorry." you had already warned him before you placed the cream onto his lower back. he shrieked at the coldness but relaxed shortly after.

pressing your thumb into his skin, you made slow but strong movements, trying to ease the tension out of his body. he sighed in relaxation, sometimes giving you an appreciative smile or comment, like "oh that's nice" or "keep doing that, it feels amazing".

you now wandered from his back to his shoulders and neck, giving his other muscles also a good squeeze. you enjoyed letting your hands wander over his broad shoulders and loved to see your boy relaxed, as his body was often in constant pain or exhaustion.

it's been about half an hour when you stopped as your hands started to hurt. you hadn't heard much from gavi, so you gently got off him, only to see him sleeping.

his eyes were closed and his lips slightly parted as soft breaths left them. you pressed a sweet kiss onto his cheek, before placing the duvet over him to let him have his well deserved rest.

[leadpoisioning]

Xavi Doesn’t Know

Tyler Galpin x Fem!Reader

SMUT (18+) ((oral, car sex, phone sex?, jealous!xavier, possessive!tyler))

Word Count: 1,204

Xavier doesn’t know that you and Tyler do it in his car every Sunday, that when you’re shopping Tyler’s really not stopping and it’s a three way call and Xavi doesn’t even know.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Xavier calls out to you, jogging to meet you where you stand in the courtyard. You take a deep breath before turning to the taller boy. Everyone knew Xavier was infatuated with you, ever since you spoke to him during orientation on the first day of freshman year. Unfortunately, he never mustered up the courage to actually do anything about the feelings he had, other than harbor them. You waited, you really did, but eventually his game got tiring and you found someone else.

“Yeah what’s up?” You nod.

“Do you want to hang out in my shed on Sunday? I was thinking we could have a chill day, like we used to.” You cringe at the mention of Sunday. You already had plans.

“Sorry Xavi, I’m already going to a church thing with Wednesday.”

“Oh, okay! No problem, some other time then.” You smile politely and nod, watching as he trudges away. It killed you to lie to him, but he’d hate you if he knew what you were really doing.

“Oh shit baby-“ Tyler gasps bucking up into your mouth. Your hand rests on the center console of his car while you bob your head up and down, messily drooling all over his cock. He screws his eyes shut, focusing on the heavenly feeling of your tongue. His knuckles turn white, gripping the steering wheel as if it might float away. “I’m so close baby, I can’t hold it much longer.” He breathily warns. His noises spur you on, going faster as he gasps harder. Tyler can’t find the words to say anything as his hips stutter, cum shooting up into your mouth. You swallow what you can, and clean his cock with long swipes as his chest heaves. His hand grabs your neck, bringing you to his face for a sloppy kiss. You slide over onto his lap from your seat and kiss him harder.

Meanwhile, Xavier is sat in his wooden chair at his desk. He rolls his eyes and tears out the doodle, throwing the crumpled page to the floor amongst the countless others. He runs a hand through his hair. He hated liking you this much. Too bad Xavi doesn’t know that you do it in Tyler’s car every Sunday.

A few days later he tries again. You and Enid sat next to each other, talking about some assignments.

“Hey, I was thinking we could reschedule that hang out sesh for today if you weren’t busy.” He sheepishly grins. You frown.

“I’m sorry, Enid and I were gonna go shopping in town today.” You and Enid were going into town, except Ajax was coming along as well and you’d be dropped off at Tyler’s house. His mouth draws into a thin line as he nods curtly.

“That’s fine, you two have fun.” He huffs walking off, discouraged but not completely set off.

“Harder, Tyler please-“ You whine, your legs drawing him in by his waist. He obeys, leaning down to kiss you as he does so, swallowing your increasingly loud moans. Your hand curls into his hair, gripping it tightly as he groans into your mouth. His cock feels so nice rutting into your pussy.

“Bet our little friend Xavi can’t fuck you this good.” He snidely remarks, having pulled away from your mouth just to comment in your ear. You shake your head quickly.

“No- only you, only you can fuck me this good-“ You babble, feeling the heat in your stomach grow. Tyler smirks at your quick assurance and dips his hand down to your clit, rewarding you.

“Good girl, that’s right.” He hisses with pleasure as your pussy squeezes his cock. He swirls a finger around your clit faster until your hips are bucking up into his, cumming as he finishes in your pussy. He gives you a few more rolls of his hips, making sure his cum is deep in you, before pulling out.

Xavier carefully moves his hand, making the painting before him come to life. You sat on a blanket in the grass, smiling through the paper. He sighs, slamming the sketchbook shut. He was never going to have that, not if he didn’t man the fuck up and tell you what exactly he wanted. He wasn’t ever completely honest with his intentions, he figured that’s what kept pushing you away. He was going to call you, and instead of tip-toeing around it he was going to ask you out.

“On your hands and knees, baby.” Tyler kisses you before letting you bend over. He gently grabs your ass and presses it back against himself. Your pussy clenching around nothing as he lightly slaps it with his hard cock. Right as he’s about to slide home, your ringtone goes off. Tyler picks up the phone and sees Xavier’s face light up on the screen. Smirking, he clicks answer and tosses the device near your head.

“Hello?” You answer, kind of annoyed about the interruption. Tyler makes it a little more bearable by easing into you.

“(Y/N)! Hey, I really needed to talk to you about something serious. Are you able to talk right now?” You roll your eyes, biting your lip as Tyler slides in and out of your cunt slowly.

“Yeah I’m good, what’s up?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking a lot lately. About me and you, us, I mean…” Tyler speeds up his thrusts. “I know why you’ve been avoiding me, and I totally get it! You’ve been wanting me to just be straight up with you.” He states, you’re trying not to moan or laugh into the phone. Tyler wraps a hand around your waist and toys with your clit.

“Xavier, I-“ You quietly muster.

“Wait, I’m not done.” He interrupts.

“Me neither.” Tyler murmurs, you squeeze his cock, making him chuckle softly.

“(Y/N), will you go out with me?” You gasp as Tyler hits a spot deep inside of you, no doubt getting off on this conversation. A three way call and Xavi doesn’t even know. Xavier waits, hearing the gasp and getting excited for your acceptance.

“I’m sorry Xavier, it’s just- ah- you really should’ve told me sooner.” You try your best to sound sorry for him while pleasures fill your senses. The line stays quiet. Tyler reaches for the phone and holds it between his ear and shoulder while he grips your hips for more leverage.

“I’m sorry Thorpe, you snooze; you lose.” He pouts, letting Xavier hear the sinful slaps of his skin against yours before hanging up. When the phone is out of sight, he continues thrusting- harder and deeper than before. You finally let out the pent up moans and push back against his cock. He leans over you to whisper in your ear. “So good for me, denying him while my cock is deep inside your pretty little cunt.” Your breathy moan is all he needs to hear before stilling his hips and filling you up once again while your cum mixes with his, dripping onto his sheets below.

Xavier throws his phone across the dorm room, the device clattering to the ground. He couldn’t believe he was so trusting. Xavi just didn’t know.

[paddymoonstruck]

Paining: Charles Leclerc X Nepo!OC

Summary: Sofina faces challenges on the first race of the season and sees the face of the person she fears the most.

Warnings: Cursing/Abusive language and actions

Previous Chapter

Notes: A bit of a heavy chapter but nothing too extreme. Please let me your thoughts on this chapter and if you want to be added in the tag list.

The paddock had always been a place of refuge to Sofina. An escape from fast-paced life she had been subjected into. Her love for motorsports started when she witnessed Charles raced in France at merely 7 years old, on her birthday. Sofina would do well to think he was the reason for her ongoing pursuit to aid him and Ferrari with their needs. There was no hesitation on her part when it came down to providing and she would happily do whatever it takes in the goodness of her heart.

Today, as the bristling sounds of engines and cheers filled her hearing, she stood from the stool she had been wilting on. The point in her brow more prominent than ever, matching the deep scowl settled on her lips as she focused her gaze on the screen where the race was being projected.

It was lap 38 of the Bahrain Grand Prix. Unlike the promising result from the Pre-Testing Season, the current state of the team was far from successful.

Charles was a position lower than where he started and a surprise to no one, Max was leading by an obscene number of seconds.

Sofina slammed her hands on the wooden table, and despite having those massive headphones in the ears, the occupants flinched at the sudden explosive reaction from their dearest sponsor.

“What the hell is happening?” Sofina roared, whipping her head to Charles’s race engineer, Xavier “Xavi” Marcos Padros.

Blood pumped rapidly in her veins at the lack of response, seemingly worsening when she heard the grating sigh Xavi had the audacity to release.

Her eye twitched, not able to stopped herself as she shoved Xavi’s shoulder, fingers gripping at his Ferrari shirt. She ignored Fred Vasseur’s useless attempts behind her to calm her down.

It was probably the adrenaline and stress that all came with tonight’s race, when she saw the fear slowly creeping into Xavi’s feature’s she could not explain the overwhelming amount of elation she had experienced.

“Tell me.” She gritted, wrinkling Xavi’s shirt to the point of no return.

The Spanish race engineer swallowed the lump on his throat, as he trembled under the furry of Sofina’s glare, unable to look elsewhere in the fear of having his eyes possibly gouged out by the her devilish hands.

“Th-There seems to be pr-problem with the b-brakes—” He nearly lost all the taces of masculinity in his body when she responded.

“What?”

Her icy tone froze the whole room, and silence bounced on the walls, everyone afraid to move a muscle as if they’d be burned on a stick if they dared to try.

The people in the garage cringed at the ear-piercing scoff Sofina gave Xavi. They were aware of how the female business magnate perceived errors in the team. Sofina believes that a failure isn’t done by one person but rather every single one responsible of overseeing the car. Not only that, there was not a soul in that garage who wasn’t aware of Charles’s importance to Sofina.

Her ferocity towards them was, in fact, reasonable.

“You sent him out there with broken brakes?” She hissed, releasing her death grip on Xavi with a push strong enough to send him leaning back on his seat. “What now, then? We just let him race like that and hope for the best?”

Sofina’s attention was now at Fred, craning her neck towards him for answers but the solemn look on his face was enough before he even got to whatever daft explanation he had.

“It were working well earlier as well as it did in the Qualifying . . .” Fred sighed, confusion and disappointment flooding his face. “I-I don’t know how this happened.”

“Is that right?” Sofina laughed, dripping with anger. “Charles has done nothing but nearly break track limits at every corner!”

They’re all in luck. Sofina thought.

If he was less of the brilliant driver he was, he would’ve crashed ages ago and their heads would be served on a silver platter on her father’s desk.

A chill ran down her spine at the thought of her dad. The reason for her prickly attitude and the bane of her existence. She began to unwilling peddle back to his demand for a better performance from Charles and didn’t help that the team was currently deteriorating in the first race of the year.

Sofina didn’t have to be in her father’s presence to hear the infuriated thoughts and colorful words radiating from him wherever he was right now. He had made it known to her that he would be watching this Grand Prix and if he was here physically, she could see him stating the embarrassing position she had put him in, how irresponsible and idiotic she was to ever consider putting her trust in this time and again.

Defeated, she had no choice but to let her thoughts simmer and see how everything pans out.

Who knows? Perhaps the universe will finally take a look at her pitiful self and decide she deserves a break.

Admittedly, wishing for the universe’s mercy was and will forever be a deluded move. The universe turns a blind eye, or Sofina would dare say, stare while her body bursts into flames and laughs at her misfortunes.

However, as much as her initial instincts grappled against her throat, yelling through the seams of her sanity to spout her dilemma and make this about her. In a different setting, maybe she would have but the choking dismay on Charles’s face once he entered the garage made her resolve crumble in a second.

She watched from afar as he patted and nodded at the team, thanking them for a job well done. His smile didn’t match the obvious disappointment that swam in his eyes, seemingly wavering as it met hers.

Sofina started to stand, meeting him halfway into an embrace. The mixture of heat, sweat and the smell of smoke filled her lungs as she pulled him closer.

The pat she laid on his back differed from the ones the team gave him, Charles notices. While he was grateful for the intent and support of it, it was full of pity that made him feel terrible and guilty. Beyond those, was the soft caress of Sofina’s delicate hands on him. He sagged in her arms, promptly tightening his coiled arms around her waist.

“I’m so proud of you!” She beamed, fingers traveling up the nape of his neck. “You were fantastic!”

Charles pulled away, catching her gazing immediately. “You looked pretty mad, though.”

Sofina snorted, smirking at his frowning face. “Oh? Where’d you see?”

“A reporter showed it to me,” He said, judgmental eyes staring down at her.

While she nodded, Charles slowly leaned down to level of her ear. As if there’s a magnetic force, Sofina automatically gravitates towards his waiting lips. Hot breath trickled on her skin as he whispered, “I was about to feel bad for them but I remembered I almost destroyed the car at every turn.”

Sofina contained the shiver that was to ripple down her spine when Charles chuckled lowly in her ear. Despite having the one that in a speeding car merely a few minutes ago, she felt as if the heat coursing through her veins equaled to that of Charles’s post-race adrenaline.

“You shouldn’t feel bad,” She assured, ignoring abrasive pounding in her chest as she glanced at the Ferrari crew and Fred chatting with each other just a few feet away from them. “They shouldn’t have let drive a car that could’ve killed you in the first place.”

Charles followed the turn of her head, agreeing at the obvious. “They try.”

This of course, was met with a sharp scoff. “They always try. When will they actually—” Sofina stopped, catching her unbecoming annoyance come to the surface. She took in a long breath and shifted her gaze back to Charles. “Let’s just forget about it . . . Are you finish?” She glanced over his body that was blocking the cameras from the outside.

“I am.” Charles tilts his body to shadow the curve of her spine as she looked forward, hoping to snatch her attention back. He frowned as Sofina’s eyes zeroed in on the object of her distraction, staring stright ahead and not regarding his presence, enough for Charles to search for what it might be.

Oh.

It was indeed a distracting sight. He squinted at the sudden outpour of clicks and flashes, along with the rowdy voices of the ocean of journalists, shouting through the atmosphere with their entire chests.

Sofina, on the other hand, started to go deaf. The bleary volume of the noises plummeted in her hearing, similar to water accidentally entering her ears at the figure that approached her. And as the distance got smaller, the more lightheaded she felt.

The celebratory cheer she had practiced for Charles thrown out her brain, leaving her helpless and lost. She began to feel the wetness of her palms from sweat, making her close it into a fist.

“Dad.” At nearly sounded like a question. As if her eyes had deceived her. She wished it did. The notion of her possibly hallucinating was far more comforting than the horrible reality of her father standing in front of her at this moment.

“Sofina.”

Comes the curt greeting and ever-so downward curve of his lips as he stared down at her. The wrinkles on his forehead deeper as his brows pulled with his unpleased scowl.

“I didn’t think you’d be able to make it!” She mustered up her best effort to be enthusiastic, giving him a wide smile despite the grueling knot in her stomach.

“How could I not?” Sofina cringed at the piercing loudness of his voice, booming into the walls of the garage as he glared at her. If she were to listen hard enough, the sound of his teeth chafing could be heard from their distance.

Sofina held a breath as she took into account the several prying eyes burning into her still figure. The urge to avoid her father’s scorching glare was nearly as intense as her will to save the bits of her dignity but she chose the latter.

She managed to look him in the eye, softly muttering. “I think it would be better to talk about this in private.”

It was unclear whether anyone away from their radius would’ve heard her but if they did, one could account for the slight quiver of her voice as she spoke to him. The thought of being seen as a weak vulnerable woman sent her sanity into a crazed blinking red light, alarms in her head going off to retreat away from this exposed scene.

Her pending humiliation was cut short as her father agreed to her request. Her relief came in a flow of fresh water, sighing into ease. She led the way, in the hopes to find an empty room.

She resisted to strong desire to look back at the green orbs she could feel staring at the back of her head and although she wished someone would rescue her from the terrifying flames of her father’s wrath, she wasn’t selfish enough to let Charles touch the fire that was meant for her.

“When will you start using that godforsaken brain of yours?”

The moment the door locked into place and the slightly flickering lights of the empty office steadied, the lump obstructing Sofina’s throat began to expand. Heat seared on her entire body at the cutting hiss of her father’s deafening roar.

She rubbed her hands together, as if to ebb away the quake in them before she spoke unable to lift her head from the ground.

“It hasn’t happened yet, I can still cancel—”

"You should not have given them the chance to think that you’d even consider to ally yourself with them!”

Sofina flinched back, the echo of his voice setting her a few paces behind as he suddenly turned into her direction.

“Do you have any idea how degrading this is for our family?” He stalked forward, and Sofina could barely register their proximity until his black polished oxfords came into her view.

Her breath picked up, swallowing immensely as her throat began to dry. She tried to focus, noticing her hearing becoming scattered and cloudy as blood pouded wildly into her ears.

It was a moment of desperation. When she had heard about Maximilian Rothchild’s interest to support Ferrari, nothing else seemed to matter. Thus, she failed to see the flaws of this plan which would have been more obvious if she was in the right mind.

Sofina was someone who took her work very seriously. The one listed and made notes about every single error or improvement at the moves she was to make. The perfectionist among her siblings and the person who thought everything through. She was supposed to prevent mistakes before they got the chance to happen.

Embarrassment wrung on her neck as her actions became clear in her mind and she couldn’t help but groan in discomfort at her own idiocy.

“I wasn’t thinking—" She was immediately cut off at her admission and she couldn’t do more than accept her fate.

“You were not thinking!” Her father yelled, cementing his heavy hand on each side of her shoulder as he leaned down to her face. When she refused to give him her gaze, he squeezed her shoulders.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

Sofina whimpered as the ponderous palms that weight her down dug into her skin, deep enough to be felt in her bones. The pain forced her to look up, teeth gritting as nervousness gripped at her sanity as she came eye to eye with the ferocious beast and if it wasn’t for the same mahogany eyes he had inherited from him, she would have forgotten her relation to him.

“Are you trying to humiliate me? Huh?” He shook her, rattling the resolve she had been building up. “I sent you to the finest schools and you’ve topped your classes but I’m going to tell you right now, it all amounted to nothing. You’re just as brainless as you were before I sent you away.”

He released her from the blood cutting grip, forceful enough to push her to the ground. Sofina grunted as she landed on the floor, the shock somehow erased her instinct to catch herself. A small crack, clicked at the air as she twisted her wrist.

But without a care, her father continued to stare at her, towering over her injured figure. “You will fix this. I will not have those pesky journalists see you work with a Rothchild. Do you understand?”

With her abled hand holding the other, she nodded, taking deep breaths as she answered. “More than anything.”

He began to reach for the door, but turned back. “Tell your Charles to get it together before I replace him.” And he shut the door behind him with a loud bang.

The silence Sofina was left with was soon disturbed when she began to feel the pain of her wrist. She groaned as she got to her feet, clutching the damaged area to her body. She only let go to twist the doorknob and peak her head through the hallway to make sure no one was there to witness her pathetic self.

She skipped out the room, adrenaline soaring to her veins as she tried conceal the pain from showing in her face whenever she would pass people. She was looking the other way when she turned the corner and to her misfortunes, she bumped into someone, her hand instinctively coming out to push the person away, making her jerk back at the sudden pressure she applied on her wrist.

She hissed, retracting her hand back to cradle it on her chest. Her head snapped towards the person, ready to reprimand him. It all but died in her throat as she was met by the same oceanic leafy orbs that was filled with unmistakable worry.

“Hey!” Perhaps to compensate for her wavering nerves, her greeting came unnaturally loud.

It was useless, as it didn’t deflate the worry in his eyes as he glanced down at where she had her hand clutched to her heart. She was about to hide it at her back but was stopped by Charles’s soft grip on them.

Mortification drew on her face as she maintained a firm gaze on her and she felt flustered under his intense eyes as if trying to draw her out of her mind.

“What happened?”

Sofina stared back at him, brows furrowing in a feign confusion. “What are you talking about?”

He scoffed, frown deepening at her attempt to lie. “Are you hurt? Let me see—”

“I’m fine, Charles.” She insisted, ripping her arm from his grip as she paid no mind to the igniting ache crawling through her bones. “Just leave it.”

Charles was no stranger to Sofina’s display of hostility when it came to asking for help. In times like this he would often try to extract the problem from her defensive system before she completely shuts down any source of aid. However, the sight of her purpling wrist was enough to disregard his usual respect for her space as annoyance began to creep through his veins.

“Come with me.” Before Sofina can respond, he pulled her in tow, keeping a solid grasp on around her waist, carefully navigating them until they reached the parking lot.

As the wind outside hit her face, Sofina pulled back. “I’m not going to a random hospital!”

“I’m not taking you to one. Calm down.” He mumbled, glancing back at her apprehensive expression. He sighed, halting his movements as he realized the roughness of how he handled her. “I have a first aid kit in my car. Whatever happened to you, I can try and dress it then we can go home and call your doctor if that’s what you want. Is that okay?”

The heaviness of her chest subdued at the softness and understanding in his voice, prompting her to nod at his proposition.

“Good. Now come on. Let’s see what we can do about your hand.”

Sofina reached for his hand with her uninjured one, gripping it and relishing the comforting hear it radiated on her palm.

The previous fear and nervous state she had been in slowly decreased as the time of them together passed by. She often wondered what were to happen to her had she refused to celebrate her birthday on a racetrack back in 2005.

How different would her life be if that day didn’t happen? Would she have been happier? Perhaps her father would still love her like he did.

Either way, she will never be permitted to turn back time no matter how many birthday wishes she wastes on it. She was here now and the only thing she can do is live through it even with the hallow ache in her heart where her father's affection used to reside.

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