#what is wrong with me that employers are so repulsed fucks sake

[madtomedgar]

I moved so far beyond applying for jobs with the expectation of getting them that I don't even think about "you will maybe work here and do this." I just feel like I'm clocking in for my boulder rolling shift at the sisyphus factory.

[tobogga]

How To Be Undateable

I broke up with this man twice, and he thinks he deserves to be with me. Without going into the psychology of a person who thinks that if they want something, they by default deserve it, even if that thing is really a person, here is a list of qualities that are repulsive. If you are dating, do not do adopt these behaviors becasue if you do you will be undateable: 

He makes uncomfortably long eye contact without attention to how uncomfortable he is making his subject. 

He talks too much about himself and isn’t interested enough in me. When we go to dinner he monologues and forgets to pause to let me speak and never asks me a question about my life.

He’s a bad listener and almost always interrupts me before I’m done.

He’s unobservant of the surrounding world in general. If we were living in a war zone, he would be the first one to be killed because he’d walk out into a bullet field not realizing what it was because he was busy bragging about his prominance in Hollywood.

He doesn’t have much philosophical insight into life. Everything he says has the underlying motive of making himself look better. Likely, everything he says is partially true, but he’s so dumb that he’s a bad liar, so it all evens out.

He isn’t funny and laughs at other people’s pain, so his sense of humor is non-existent.

He does embarrassing things when we go into public and doesn’t have a good way to blend in and relate to others; instead he tries to be the center of attention, but because he’s not very smart, he ends up mostly being annoying. His act is translucent and everyone who meets him can tell that he is deeply insecure and is trying to make himself look better, so the natural reaction is something along the lines of, “Oh, one of these guys. Who invited him?” At that point the blame falls on me.

He doesn’t know how to admit that he’s wrong when it’s clear that he’s wrong and instead makes excuses. Everyone with a shred of dignity will swallow their pride and not fight over the small ways they might be right, and at some point just look the person they wronged or embarrassed in the eyes and say, “I’m sorry; that was stupid of me,” and then move on. He is the child who needs to prove that he’s right in every way.

He’s sensitive about anything people say about him, but insensitive about what he says to other people.

He brags constantly about what a big deal he is in Hollywood which is a huge turn off because there is more to life. If you are doing Hollywood so that you can brag about being a big deal in Hollywood, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. Those of us who have found ourselves at this juncture in life, for the most part, have tried literally everything else and this is where we are doomed to spend our time because we were born different and it’s a curse just as much as it’s a blessing. It is definitely not something to brag about. There are brilliant people in every profession. Without brilliant doctors we would all be dead. Without brilliant teachers abused children would still be with their abusers and insecure children would still believe they were stupid. Without fantastic masseuses, the muscles tied up in knots holding painful memories and anxiety would be overtaking the human bodies they inhabit. What Hollywood does is braodcast, but that does not make it more valuable than other activities that millions of people on this planet spend their life doing. Any human who puts himself on a pedestal due merely to the industry they have joined is in a significant way, spiritually blind and in need of both life teaching them a lesson, and guidance.

He says rude things without realizing it because he’s so insanely insecure and hasn’t dealt with his issues. For example, I’ve been transitioning out of a job that paid me below the poverty level. I stupidly took this job because I misread the character of the boss upon interviewing with her, and because several of my mentors recommended that I take it despite the pay for the sake of building my resume. Long story short, for financial and sanity reasons, I had to get another job that paid me enough to cover my bills after six months. He offered to help by sending a PA gig opportunity on a national commercial my way, but the job was offered to me just three days before they were filming. I had to ask my employers (the one I was transitioning out of, and the new one I was transitioning into) to give me the days off. I got one employer’s permission, and was waiting on the second employer. Meanwhile, I’d been eating one to two ham sandwiches a day to keep my bills down, and gave plasma to make enough money to pay my bills. I was totally broke and really could have used the money from the PA gig. Unfortunately, the production coordinator needed me to commit literally six minutes before my second boss gave me the day off. It was a disappointment and felt consistent with my bad luck. I let him know, and he accused me of being stupid for not waiting another six minutes. Consistent with his bad listening, he didn’t hear me when I said that his production coordinator was the one who couldn’t wait six more minutes. Fast forward to the days of the shoot, I was able to pick up a babysitting job to make up for the lost income, but he texted me and told me, “It’s too bad you’re not here. You would be making so much money. We’re going into overtime. You would have loved it. The crew is awesome. Really too bad you didn’t take the job.”  First off, it was not my choice to not do the job you dumb fuck, I already told you that and clearly you forgot or are so stupid you can’t process basic information when it’s not about you. Second, this issue is sensitive because I’ve been working my ass off to try to make it work, and I’m fucking broke and can barely eat, which he was aware of, but he still rubbed salt in the wound likely to make me wish I was around him. He put his insecurity over my pain. Beyond rude, it’s a sign of a person with unhealthy values.

He constantly tells me that the money I make is bullshit and that I should be making five times as much. While on some level I can tell he’s trying to be encouraging, on another level, it’s frustrating that he doesn’t realize that telling someone who is trying their hardest that the amount of money they are making is pathetic can come off as rude, condescending, and offputting. I don’t want to spend time with a person who insults me that way. 

Final verbal failure I will report, whenever I’m busy and have to work, he says to me in a wildly condescending voice, “don’t work too hard!” as though he’s hoping I’ll never make it and will have to marry him to gain access to money. Actually, working hard is exactly what I am going to do so I never have to end up with someone like you.

He doesn’t dress well. Not the most important factor, but you’d think if he cares so much about appearance and surface-level perceptions that he’d at least get that right, but no. Once again, I’m left to conclude that his inability to observe the outside world, and self-obsession is so debilitating, that he can’t even be good at his own game.

Good luck to everyone out there dating. Remember, just becasue someone likes you, and a relationship is possible, it doesn’t mean that’s the right thing to do. In many cases, remaining single is the best choice.