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riversofmars · 4 years ago

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Love Is Begun By Time

So this is sort of my contribution to Pride Month... two wlw couples breaking out of the Tower of London to steal a jewel from Queen Elizabeth I. River/13 and Liv/Helen!

Featuring:

endless River/13 banter and healthy relationship

Liv being a gay mess

River flirting with EVERYONE

Helen being cute, clueless and working through the prejudice of the time she grew up in

aliens in Elizabethan London

BAMF River Song

Shakespeare quotes

Eight being a clueless himbo

Anyway! Happy Pride!

Love Is Begun By Time

“Any bright ideas?“ Helen Sinclair shifted her weight, trying to get comfortable but no matter how she tried, she didn’t seem to be able to. The heavy iron chains that kept her fixed to the wall left her with little wiggle room.

“Nothing springs to mind…“ Liv Chenka looked around the dirty dungeon cell. The stone wall behind her was cold and hard against her back, the ground was wet and grimy; the straw did little in the way of cushioning. The metal of the chains had started digging into her wrists and were rubbing her skin red and raw. She’d just about had it with being locked up. “This is usually when the Doctor turns up to save the day…“ She groaned, annoyed at the situation they found themselves in. Liv had always been partial to trips to her ancestral home-world but since getting locked up in the Tower of London pending execution, she had quickly fallen out of love with Elizabethan England.

They had lost track of how long they had been imprisoned for as there was very little natural light. All Liv knew for sure was that she was getting hungry. As she considered the hopelessness of their situation, she glanced to Helen in the twilight. She was huffing and puffing, trying to get comfortable and Liv smiled a little, despite it all. She was glad that she wasn’t alone. If she was to choose someone to be locked up with, it would be Helen Sinclair. Liv’s thoughts on how lovely her best friend looked in period dress were interrupted when she heard distant voices.

“Can you hear that?“ The med-tech looked up and listened out. The walls of the dungeon were thick but she was sure someone was heading their way.

“Voices?“ Helen listened up as well. “Maybe someone is coming to get us, maybe it’s the Doctor! Hello?!“ She called out but there was no response. There were, however, voices in the corridor and they were getting close enough to make out.

“You just had to do that, didn’t you, you just couldn’t keep your hands to yourself!“ The first voice was female, distinctly Northern and obviously deeply annoyed.

“Well, how is one to keep one’s hands at one’s sides when one is pressed to one’s wife in a broom closet.“ The other voice - also female and oddly familiar - seemed to be taking the whole thing far less seriously.

“That voice…“ Helen had noticed it too and they exchanged confused glances. It was incredibly familiar but neither of them could quite place it, not yet anyway.

“We were hiding!“ The Northern woman snapped, still getting closer, and the response came promptly:

“You needn’t have squeaked like that!“

“You could have given me some heads up before jumping right in.“

“What can I say, sometimes foreplay seems like wasted effort.“ The exchange was quick, witty and effortless. Whoever they were, they knew each other very well and knew how to press each other’s buttons.

Liv raised her eyebrows at the statement, trying not to chuckle. She spotted the expression on Helen’s face, noticing a faint blush at the impropriety the words insinuated, and in Elizabethan times no less!

“We’ve been married for thousands of years, you still need warning?“ The familiar voice teased.

“Well, this body is different…“ The heavy wooden door opened and a blonde woman came into view. Her hair fell in a short bob, her clothes were a colourful ensemble that did not match the local trends of fashion and her bright eyes were firmly fixed on the woman beside her who smirked:

“Yes, I have noticed.“

Liv and Helen gasped in surprise as they recognised none other than Professor River Song, time travelling archeologist and wife to their best friend! She was lead into the cell alongside the blonde and appeared to be teasing her with great enthusiasm.

“Shut up, the two of you!“ The guard that was accompanying them snapped. He had clearly heard enough of their bickering along the way. “Get in there.“ He gave them both a shove.

“Alright, alright, no need to be like that.“ The blonde rolled her eyes.

“Now, really that’s no way to treat a lady.“ River feigned outrage. She straightened out the era appropriate dress she was wearing - much like Liv and Helen themselves. She looks fantastic in a corset. The unbidden thought struck Liv like a punch in the gut. She forced her eyes away and focused on the other woman instead. Her long coat, rainbow t-shirt and odd three-quarter length trousers were certainly not of the time; the only logical deduction was that she was a time traveller, too. Perhaps they had just found their way out of their awkward situation.

“You will hang in the morning for attempting to steal the Queen’s jewel.“ The guard snapped, glaring at the two women who seemed remarkably unfazed at the prospect of their impending execution.

“Not to mention the indecent behaviour, right?“ River called after him but he didn’t respond, he just threw the door shut.

“River?“ Helen spoke up first and the two new arrivals looked around, surprised. They had been too caught up in their conversation to notice the two women chained to the wall.

“Liv? Helen?“ It was the blonde that spoke first and they looked at her in surprise. How does she know our names? Liv wondered. Had they, perhaps, come to save them? Or maybe she was someone from their future? Maybe they just hadn’t met yet. She didn’t have an opportunity to continue the thought process as River demanded their attention:

“Hello girls!“ A wide grin spread across the professor’s face. “Fancy seeing you here!“ She turned to the woman at her side: “Don’t tell me you’ve done this before.“

“I don’t remember it.“ The other woman shook her head slowly. “But of course, must be because of the time lines crossing.“ She exclaimed, as if the penny dropped. “Come here you two!“ She skipped over and threw herself at them for tight hugs that they couldn’t evade in their tied up state.

“Do we�� know you?“ Liv frowned pulling away as much as she could manage. It wasn’t that she disliked a hug from a pretty girl, she just usually preferred introductions first.

“Oh right, the body, uh…“ The blonde straightened herself up, confused for a moment, she looked to River for help who started laughing.

“This is the Doctor.“ River gestured to the blonde who gave a sheepish grin.

“No…“ Helen’s eyes widened in shock.

“Really?“ Liv was just as dumbfounded.

“What can I say, regeneration is a lottery.“ The Doctor grinned and took a little twirl that was so very much like the Doctor they knew.

“And you hit the jackpot this time around.“ River smirked as she regarded her wife’s backside while the Doctor faced her friends again.

“I’ll say…“ Liv found herself saying before she could think better of it.

“So you two are still…“ Helen looked to River, seemingly confused.

“Thirteenth honeymoon, if you will.“ River grinned.

“Right…“ The language scholar managed a smile that wasn’t quite comfortable and it made Liv’s heart sink. Of course. Helen, despite all the wonderful adventures they had been on and all the extraordinary things they had seen, was still a woman of her time, Liv realised. Born 1933. It wasn’t usually noticeable. She took scientific advancement and alien life in her stride but every now and then, a little bit of her upbringing, the time she was raised in, shone through.

Liv rarely thought about their different backgrounds, in most things they were so very much alike; but still occasionally, the awareness of it painfully push itself to the forefront of Liv’s mind. Usually when she considered how the light reflected in Helen’s bright, intelligent eyes or how much she missed her when she wasn’t right there by her side. The awareness remained like a wall, in insurmountable obstacle, that Liv never dared approach. It was what always kept her hand firmly by her side, rather than slipping into the one well within reach.

“Thirteenth?“ Liv forced herself out of her painful thoughts and instead marvelled at how different that Doctor was to the one they were travelling with. She had seen them change before and learned how one person could wear different faces, but that was quite a change indeed.

“Long time into my future - your future - however you want to look at it.“ The Doctor seemed to appreciate that it was a lot to take in.

“I’m going to need some time to process this…“ Helen laughed lightly, seemingly over the initial shock.

“Maybe you could get us out of these chains in the meantime?“ Liv suggested as her right hand was falling asleep and her wrists stung.

“Well, Ms. Chenka, in my experience there is a lot of fun to be had with restraints.“ River gave her a wink and Liv rolled her eyes. Did River Song have any other modi operandi apart from witty seductress and deadly assassin?

“Very funny.“ The med-tech huffed, hoping the little bit of pink that snuck onto her cheeks didn’t show in the dark of the cell. She wasn’t even necessarily attracted to River, but there probably wasn’t a person alive in this universe - no matter their race, gender or sexual orientation - that was immune to River Song’s charm. She hoped Helen hadn’t noticed.

“Yes chains, right, then we find a way out of here. Not really in the mood for a hanging.“ The Doctor ignored the little exchanged, clearly not phased by her wife’s flirting, and pulled her sonic screwdriver from her coat.

“Oh you know, some executions can be quite entertaining or even enjoyable affairs, there is this little planet just off the Orion belt where…“ River started but for once, the Doctor dared to interrupt her.

“I don’t think they care right now, River.“ She crouched down and sonic-ed the restraints until they fell away. “There you go.“ She smiled satisfied as Liv and Helen shook off the rest of the chains.

“Much better, thanks.“ Helen smiled, rubbing her aching joints.

“So what did you two do to get banged up in here? Were you having a bit too much fun in the broom closet as well?“ River smirked as they clambered to their feet and brushed off the dirt.

“Sorry?“ Helen looked over to her, visibly confused.

“River.“ The Doctor gave her wife’s arm a little slap.

“What?“ River looked back to the Doctor, confused, apparently wondering what she had done wrong. She then looked back to Liv and Helen, sizing them up. Liv averted her eyes while Helen just looked utterly confused. “You don’t mean to tell me, after all this time, you still haven’t…“

“I think that’s quite enough of that, River, dear.“ The Doctor grabbed River’s hand and pulled her along to the door. “Let’s see if we can’t get us all out of here before past me turns up and this gets really complicated, hm?“

“Now there is a fun idea, you had such luscious hair back then too…“ River reminisced, brushing her hand through her blonde bob while the Doctor attempted to sonic the door.

“Wood, damn it.“ The Doctor groaned in annoyance.

“You would have thought after all this time, it would do wood.“ River sighed theatrically.

“Wise arse…“ The Doctor huffed as she crouched down to examine the lock more closely.

“So what were you up to, my favourite girls?“ River turned back to the other two women who were watching their interactions with fascination. They knew River was the Doctor’s wife, she had told them as much, but she had also told them that their Doctor couldn’t know about it yet. Therefore, they had never actually seen them interact as lovers might. Looking at River with that version of the Doctor, they could picture it. The Doctor really hadn’t changed all that much.

“We were searching for an artefact…“ Helen started and looked to Liv to help her out.

“Alien technology that has been given to Queen Elizabeth as a gift and it’s been influencing her, she’s been commissioning these towers that the Doctor reckons the aliens will use to create a… oh God knows what, the Doctor will have to explain.“ Liv shrugged. They had been detained rather early on in their attempt to sneak into the palace, so they had very little to go on.

“Yes, that’s what we’ve been looking for, too.“ The Doctor exclaimed excitedly.

“We were having a lovely honeymoon, actually.“ River interjected. “The theatre, you know. Shakespeare? Live? You just had to check this out.“

“Well, I didn’t remember that it was all in hand already, did I.“ The Doctor retorted.

“So do you know where the artefact is?“ Liv asked, hoping there would be an easy solution to the whole mess.

“We would have had it by now if someone could have held their nerve.“ River pursed her lips.

“You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself.“ The Doctor glared at her wife.

“Can you honestly blame me?“ River smirked giving a little shrug.

“I can’t… blame you, I mean.“ Liv found herself saying, looking the Doctor up and down.

“Thank you very much.“ River gave the med-tech a winning smile and proceeded to stick her tongue out at her wife who just rolled her eyes.

“Liv?“ Helen raised her eyebrows questioningly at her friend who was still in a world of her own when the Doctor bent over again and continued to examine the lock.

“Hm? What?“ Liv blinked, looking back to Helen who seemed rather incredulous.

“That’s the Doctor!“ She pointed out, her voice somewhere between amusement and concern.

“Yeah but… not really… I mean…“ Liv began to stutter. “Past him, good God no, but… I mean…“

“Right…“ Helen’s eyes widened in surprise and Liv silently scolded herself.

That went very badly for so many reasons, Liv realised. She didn’t mean to look like she was checking out their best friend, just because they had changed bodies. She didn’t mean to make Helen uncomfortable by flaunting interest in a pretty girl. And most importantly, she didn’t want Helen thinking she was interested in the Doctor or anyone else for that matter. Anyone else except for Helen herself, of course; but that she couldn’t say.

River, apparently, could tell that Liv was getting very uncomfortable, so she decided to move things along.

“Anyway, where were we.. trying to break out? Step aside dear.“ She gently pushed her wife aside so she could have a look at the lock herself. She pulled something that looked an awful lot like a swiss army knife from somewhere within her dress.

“You okay, Helen?“ The Doctor noticed that Helen had gone rather quiet and contemplative.

“Yeah fine, I…“ The language scholar managed a smile.

“There we are.“ River announced triumphantly and gave the door a gentle nudge, swinging it open.

“You really are good, aren’t you.“ Liv chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief.

“I’m not sure good is the right word.“ Helen laughed a little as well.

“Better not be.“ River smirked and hid the knife somewhere around the edges of her cleavage. “Come along, girls.“ She stuck her head out the door to make sure the coast was clear. The corridor was indeed empty and confidently, River and the Doctor lead the way. Liv and Helen followed slightly more cautiously.

“So… the Doctor…“ Helen said after walking in silence for a few minutes.

“What?“ Liv looked around to her, confused.

“You said you couldn’t blame River…“ Helen observed, mulling over what she had said.

“Helen…“ Liv felt her throat close up. Of course she had got the wrong end of the stick, but how to explain without making the situation worse?

“No, I mean, I uh…“ Helen seemingly was struggling to find the right words as well, so Liv hastily tried to justify herself:

“I didn’t mean I wanted to… I mean, she’s the Doctor. Plus, she’s with the Professor, so…“ She gave a dismissive wave of her hand. She hadn’t meant it like that at all.

“But if she wasn’t, you’d…“ Helen looked ahead to where the Doctor and River were standing to either side of a door and glancing into the next corridor; a perfect team, so in tune with each other.

“Why are we talking about this?“ Liv asked gently. She so badly wanted to reach for her arm or her shoulder, create some physical contact, but she didn’t.

“No, I mean… I just didn’t realise you had these feelings…“ Helen huffed, her tone incredibly difficult to pick apart.

“I don’t! Not for the Doctor.“ Liv grabbed Helen’s arm and stopped her. She couldn’t leave her in that belief.

“But you said…“ Helen didn’t look at her, she adverted her eyes, looking up ahead to make sure they didn’t lose track of River and the Doctor.

“She’s pretty, that’s all. That was all I was saying, nothing else. I don’t want to and never would and… this is the Doctor we’re talking about!“ Liv insisted firmly, she would have shouted for emphasis if they weren’t currently on the run, breaking out of prison. Her tone must have been a lot sharper than she realised, as Helen stared at her shocked. Quickly, Liv let go of her arm. “Besides, it’s not just about that, is it.“ She mumbled, somewhat apologetical about her outburst. “To be… interested… in someone like that, there has to be an awful lot there. Like trust. Mutual interests. Shared values. Time… spending time with that person, getting to know them, making memories together and experiences and…“ She broke off. “I just mean, a pretty face isn’t everything.“ She shrugged and started walking again, partly because she reasoned that they should keep up with the others, partly because she wanted to put an end to the conversation.

“But you’d… like a pretty pace? More than, say, someone like our Doctor…?“ Helen asked after a few moments of silence between them.

“You mean a man?“ Liv retorted without looking at her. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

“Uhh… yeah… I guess that’s what I mean…“ Helen mumbled, not looking to her either.

“I really don’t care, Helen.“ Liv sighed, defeated. She actually laughed a little at how absurd the conversation was from her point of view. Humanity had moved past that a long long time ago and she couldn't believe that her beautiful, clever friend hadn’t come to the same realisation yet. “When you like someone it’s not for their gender, you like the person, wouldn’t you say?“ Liv asked, looking over to her at last.

“I’d never… really thought about it, I guess…“ Helen replied, her voice soft.

“That’s just your time, the way you were raised, it’s… you can’t help it…“ Liv shook her head, she couldn’t even blame her. She was born in a different world and it would take time to unlearn what society had drummed into her for most of her life. Far flung adventures in impossible worlds just weren’t enough. It would take time, like all things. Love is begun by time… Liv thought, Shakespeare making an unbidden appearance in her troubled mind. Love is begun by time and time qualifies the spark and fire of it. She wondered if that spark would ever be allowed to turn to a blaze. A steady, hungry fire had been burning inside her for so long already; and perhaps Helen would douse it in cold water at last.

“Seems so silly now, looking back…“ Helen spoke to herself more than anything else but took Liv by surprise nonetheless. “After everything I’ve seen, the places we’ve been too, the futures we’ve experienced…“ She shook her head to herself. “I guess I still haven’t quite caught up with everything yet…“

“It does seem silly…“ Liv didn’t know what else to say but she felt a sense of relief at Helen’s thought process on the matter. Her friend was intelligent, inquisitive and considerate. She reflected on things and didn’t just take them for granted. She questioned and prodded, more than able to make up her own mind. Maybe she just had never had reason to reevaluate her feelings on the matter and Liv felt a sting for knowing she herself hadn’t been reason enough to do just that. But then, perhaps, she had never dared to give her a proper reason to, either.

“Shush, you two, or we will be back in the tower in a minute…“ River pressed her finger’s to Liv’s lips as they came to an abrupt halt and she nearly bumped into her.

“Guards?“ Helen whispered as Liv was too dumbfounded to utter anything with River Song’s slender finger pressed to her lips.

“I’m going to create a distraction, you guys go ahead and I’ll meet you by the exit.“ The Doctor spoke quietly. She glanced around the corner. There were four guards heading their way. “Where did I say I went? Where was I when you were detained?“ She turned back to her former companions.

“You were taken to the Queen, apparently she had been looking for you everywhere.“ Liv answered slowly, recalling the series of events that had brought them there.

“Ahh, yes… Lizzie…“ The Doctor couldn’t help a little smirk.

“Virgin Queen no longer, naughty naughty, good job I’m not the jealous type.“ River wagged her finger at her wife who gave an innocent shrug and sheepish grin. “She’s not the jealous type, either, just for the record.“ River gave Helen a wink who had no idea what to do with that. River Song’s constant flirting and innuendo was a lot to handle. She flushed a little, a fact that didn’t go unnoticed by Liv who felt a wave of jealousy knocking her slightly. She had no right to be jealous, did she? River just had that effect on people.

“So what would the Queen want with the Doctor?“ Liv tired to focus her mind on something else.

“I may have married her… previous me… future me, from your point of view…“ The Doctor waved it off as unimportant.

“Seriously?“ Helen exclaimed and all of them shushed her.

“Anyway, that will keep the Queen preoccupied, won’t it. Plenty of time for us to steal into the palace and get the artefact.“ The Doctor whispered with some urgency. The guards would be getting close. “Let’s get out of here, my TARDIS is parked just at either side of the Houses of Parliament.“ There were nods all round. “So about that distraction…“ She turned back, reached for her sonic and realised that River had suddenly disappeared. Then there were muffled cries, groans, sounds of something knocking into the wall, and the thud of bodies hitting the floor.

“Let’s get going, dear, we haven’t got all day.“ River called to them, signalling that the coast was clear.

“Why do our honeymoons always end like this?“ The Doctor huffed as they stepped out onto the corridor where River had struck down four fully grown men without so much as ruffling a hair on her impressive head of curls.

“Because you really like it when I strut my stuff, Sweetie.“ River winked at her wife who did seem a little tighter wound than a moment before. “You know I can have you on your back even quicker than that.“

“Promises, promises.“ The Doctor mumbled but the pink on her cheeks betrayed her feelings on the matter.

“Does the flirting ever stop?“ Liv felt a little hot under the collar as well. There certainly was something incredibly attractive about a woman that could handle herself like that.

“Not as long as it makes her blush like that.“ River smirked proud of the effect she had on her wife.

“Is this what you two are usually like?“ Helen asked. She seemed intrigued to know how River would have been with their Doctor, given half a chance.

“Your Doctor didn’t know who I was yet and couldn’t know, so you can’t really compare it. Doesn’t mean I love him any less.“ River answered, seemingly knowing full well where she was going with it.

“Maybe a little bit less?“ The Doctor interjected and River shook her head, laughing:

“I love all my spouses equally.“ She slipped her hand into the Doctor’s before she could start sulking. “Now come along, we haven’t got all day!“

“Wow…“ Was all Helen and Liv could manage as they stepped into the Doctor’s TARDIS.

“You redecorated.“ Helen observed and the Doctor grinned:

“You like it?“ She asked as she marched up to the console and set coordinates. “Just a quick hop…“ She pushed down a lever. “And we’re in the gardens of Richmond Palace.“

“You seem to have gotten better at flying her.“ Liv commented as they stepped outside and were exactly where she had intended for them to go.

“Don’t let appearances fool you, Ms. Chenka.“ River hummed in amusement.

“Right, where are we going?“ Helen asked before the Doctor could launch into a defence of her flying.

“I’m keeping the Queen busy so we just need to evade the guards and find the artefact, destroy it, and be on our way, easy, no?“ The Doctor put her hands on her hips, looking around for confirmation.

“If we knew where the artefact was and what it looked like.“ Liv sighed. They had gotten as far as that last time, with their Doctor.

“Way ahead of you.“ River smiled and pulled a scanner from somewhere in her dress. What else does she keep in there, Liv wondered. “Looks like it’s in the private vault… at least that’t not the private chambers.“ River mused, holding out the scanner for everyone to see. There was a red dot pulsating not too far away from them.

“Now, that would be awkward…“ The Doctor admitted.

“You guys better stay here.“ River turned to Liv and Helen

“What? You’re leaving us behind?“ Helen protested, incredulous.

“I’d leave her behind too but she gets offended.“ River nodded towards her wife.

“River!“ The Doctor huffed.

“Oh, alright then, all come along, just don’t moan if we end up back in the tower again cause you got us caught.“ River sighed, giving in.

River was quick to find a window on the ground floor that was easily opened with the help of her sonic trowel - another item she just happened to have on her person - and they climbed inside. The corridor was empty and there were no alarm systems to consider in Elizabethan times.

“This way…“ River indicated, following her scanner.

They snuck through corridors and glamorous rooms, each sitting room more luscious than the next, until finally, they came to a room full of display cases.

“There it is.“ The Doctor whispered and pointed to the far end of the room. A large jewel sat upon a red cushion, guards stood either side of it.

“Allow me…“ River was about to make a dash for it when suddenly a large tentacle shot out of the darkness and knocked all of them over, like bowling pins. Despite the racket, the guards in the room up ahead didn’t even blink, they seemed to be under the influence of the jewel.

“Bloody hell…“ Liv groaned, dazed for a moment after hitting her head.

“Are you okay, you knocked your head pretty badly…“ Helen seemed to have fared better, she was quick to lean over her and brush her hair back. Liv’s struggle to think clearly was not due to head injury but rather the way Helen pulled her up and held her close.

“I thought I was the med-tech around here…“ She managed a half-hearted joke but got lost in Helen’s bright eyes. The concern she found there made her heart beat a little faster.

“You’re not from around here…“ A deep voice hummed demanding their attention. A creature the size of a small van stepped from the shadows. Stepped was probably the wrong word for it. It slid, as it resembled a slug. A slug that had been crossed with an octopus, as long tentacles hung at its sides. It accessed the group with beady, black eyes while they clambered to their feet.

“And neither are you.“ The Doctor squared her jaw, holding her sonic out like a weapon. Protectively, she stepped in front of her friends. “You do realise this is a level five planet, don’t you?“

“This planet is not important.“ The creature declared with a guttural sound that resembled a laugh.

“Oh, I beg to differ and you have made a very big mistake by choosing it.“ The Doctor retorted firmly.

“The one that’s made a mistake is you, by coming here. This world will soon be ours.“ The alien seemed unimpressed by her declaration and slid forward. Behind it, guards appeared and advanced towards them as well. The Doctor and River exchanged glances, as did Helen and Liv, weighing their options.

“No, it won’t. Not once we’ve destroyed the jewel you’re using to exert control over these people.“ The Doctor stated but retreated a little as the guards came closer. Their eyes were blank, they looked into nothingness but moved ahead regardless.

“Their minds are weak.“ The alien laughed again.

“And you’re ugly but I wasn’t gonna mention it.“ The Doctor snapped. “Now, you have a choice. You either leave this planet and spare yourself the humiliation of us kicking you out, or we make you.“ She did her best to sound threatening.

“You and what army?“ The creature tilted its barely distinguishable head.

“I don’t need an army, I’m the Doctor.“ The Doctor declared and she halted her retreat. Time to stand tall and firm.

“You’re the Doctor?“ The alien echoed.

“Heard of me then? Good! That should give you reason to run.“ The Doctor grinned.

“Doctor who?“ The alien asked and the Doctor’s face fell with annoyance.

“Well, that’s a bit disappointing, never mind, but that means you probably won’t know my lovely wife either. Professor River Song, top-notch archeologist, great hair and one hell of a marksman… woman… Anyway, I digress, point is, she’s a great shot, and while you've been listening to me singing her praises, she’d taken aim at your jewel and any second now, she’ll…“

A shot rang out and the sound of splintering glass was ear piercingly sharp.

“NO!“ The alien wailed as the guards collapsed where they were marching. Gone was their puppet master’s influence and it left them spent and unconscious.

“Never give her the opportunity to talk.“ River pointed her gun at the alien. Another thing she just happened to have pulled out of her dress. Or was it from under it? Liv found herself swallowing hard at the thought of River having strapped a gun holster to her thigh… Either way, she had shot the jewel at a great distance, through two windows and an open door. And it had only taken her one attempt.

“You will pay for this!“ The creature screeched and lashed out with its tentacles that suddenly grew sharp thorns.

“Oh no, you don’t!“ The Doctor sonic-ed a chandelier above its head that came crashing down while River delivered three quick shorts, two at tentacles, the third right in the head. It was, however, Liv that reacted the quickest.

“Helen!“ She pulled her friend around, out of the way of the one tentacle that made it past River. She knocked her to the ground just in time and River quickly shoot the tentacle for good measure, even after the creature lay motionless.

“Let’s get out of here before actual guards arrive, come on!“ The Doctor didn’t give them time to recover, she pulled her friends up and pushed them alone the corridor as voices approached.

“You saved me.“ Helen seemed thoroughly out of breath when they finally reached the safety of the shore of the Themes. She looked to Liv would was just as exhausted and leaned against the balustrade to catch her breath.

“Well, couldn’t just let it get you, could I, not after all that time the Doctor and I have spent on getting you back…“ Liv huffed, trying to downplay how terrifying the thought of losing Helen really was. She had been in that situation, not knowing whether she was dead or alive, if she would ever see her again, and she couldn’t risk losing her again.

“Right… he probably wouldn’t have been best pleased if he’d have to find an antidote to some weird disease or God knows what that thing would have done…“ Helen mumbled.

“Exactly…“ Liv brushed her hair back awkwardly.

“You know, you two are really painful to watch!“ River interrupted, her voice full of frustration.

“What?“ The two of them looked up simultaneously to find River scowling at them, placing her hands on her hips, seemingly about to give a lecture.

“Right, I’m not telling you what to do but come on!“ The professor exclaimed exasperated. “Liv! Just take the plunge, okay?“

Liv blushed deeply. Was she that easy to read? To River Song, apparently so.

“I think I’ve had enough of London for the time being.“ The Doctor interrupted, deliberately intervening to give her friends an out should they need it. They didn’t look ready to have that conversation. “We can catch Shakespeare another time. Tropical beach next?“ She looked to River who rolled her eyes at her interruption.

“Wait, what about the Doctor, our Doctor?“ Helen suddenly realised.

“He’ll get himself out of that situation.“ The Doctor waved off her concern. “Might just take a little while. Maybe don’t wait up…“ She winked.

“So you do remember it! You said you didn’t!“ River exclaimed somewhere between affronted and amused.

“Only vaguely, time lines and all…“ The Doctor tried to play it off but her wife wasn’t having it:

“You just didn’t want to tell me what the sex was like!“ River retorted.

“I thought you weren’t jealous!“ The Doctor laughed.

“I’m not jealous, I’m curious! The virgin queen, I mean, there’s a story there, isn’t there!“ River insisted with a mischievous grin. “Besides… I’m taking you home tonight and that’s what counts.“ She grabbed hold of her chin and placed a firm kiss on her slightly parted lips. The Doctor chuckled and kissed her back. Nothing quite like a kiss from her wife at the end of an adventure, so it seemed. Liv couldn’t deny she quite enjoyed seeing them kiss, though there was a twinge of jealously as well. It wasn’t directed at either one of them but at the station in itself. She looked to Helen, more longingly than she probably should have, but the language scholar didn’t noticed as she just cleared her throat:

“Are you just going to leave us now?“ She asked as River and the Doctor pulled apart and looked back to them, somewhat sheepishly, almost as if they had already forgotten they were there.

“We’ll see you guys around, places to go, people to see, marriages to consummate.“ River smirked with a little wave of her free hand, the other pulling her wife close to her side. She regarded each of them with an affectionate smile. “Hope to see you again soon.“

“Until next time, my dear friends. I miss going on adventures with you…“ The Doctor smiled as well, fondly, in a reminiscent sort of way. “Be good to yourselves.“

“And you, Doctor.“ Liv mirrored her warm expression. “Till next time, Professor.“

“Enjoy the rest of your honeymoon.“ Helen smiled. “Have fun.“

“You too!“ River grinned and pulled something from her corset. Because why wouldn’t she. “Here, in case the Doctor is a while yet.“ She threw something towards them and Liv caught it rather clumsily.

“What’s that?“ Helen asked and Liv opened her hand to reveal a key.

“Key’s to the honeymoon suite we were staying in. That lovely pub right across from the Globe, maybe you can go and catch a show and crash there. Won’t be needing it now.“ River grinned and turned to leave.

“Liv?“ The Doctor demanded her friend’s attention one last time, making River wait a moment longer.

“Yes?“ The med-tech looked up from the key.

“I think you’ve both waited long enough. Perspectives do change.“ The Doctor smiled encouragingly, waving a final goodbye. Then she took her wife’s hand and they made their way along the shore of the river, taking the long way around back to the TARDIS.

“What did she mean by that?“ Helen asked curiously once they were out of earshot. She turned towards her and seemed to assume that she knew exactly what the Doctor meant.

“What she means is… I need to stop being such a coward.“ Liv mumbled, taking a deep breath. How to even start? The pressure was unbearable as she considered what she stood to lose if she was wrong, but the thought of what she could gain was ever so tempting. Particularly when Helen reached out, took her hands into hers, gave them a firm, reassuring squeeze.

“You’re one of the bravest people I know!“ She insisted, full of determination and Liv could tell that she meant it.

“Not always, not when it comes to this…“ Liv sighed, averting her eyes.

“To what?“ Helen retorted, puzzled. She wasn’t making any sense to her and Liv couldn’t blame her. She couldn’t get coherent words out. “Liv, you’re scaring me, what’s going on?“ Helen raised her hand and pushed it under Liv’s chin, forcing her to meet her eyes.

Liv decided that she couldn't delay any longer. She had to do it. Maybe it was obvious to everyone but Helen who just didn’t expect it, didn’t know how to read the signs or what to do with them. Maybe it was a stupid idea but the Doctor and River seemed to think it wasn’t. Maybe they had foreknowledge they did not. They were from the future after all. Liv decided to trust them, to take the leap of faith and she leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to her best friend’s lips.

It was like a still moment. One of those special spots in space and time that the Doctor might speak of, where everything was fixed, everything was just the way it was supposed to be and always would be. A still point in time. Liv pulled back slowly and searched Helen’s eyes, full of surprise and confusion.

“I like you, Helen. More than I think you realise or know what to do with.“ Liv whispered, unsure how to put an attraction, an affection, an adoration and admiration into words that wouldn’t scare her away and bare the heavy burden a declaration of love.

“Oh…“ Helen’s voice was soft.

“It’s uh…“ Liv started to panic when she didn’t say anything beyond that. No response. Not one way or another, just Oh. “I’m sorry.“ Heat rushed to her cheeks and she quickly let go of Helen’s hands. She took a fearful step back. She realised she had messed up. “That was stupid… forget I even, I mean… I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, if you’re just not… that’s fine, you’re my friend, I don’t want to jeopardise that and…“ She started rambling excuses. She wished she could go back to before, her friendship with Helen meant everything to her. If that was all it was ever going to be, she could content herself with that, she could make her peace with it, but she couldn’t lose her.

“Liv…“ Helen held up her hands trying to calm her. “Liv, stop!“ She took a step towards her and grabbed her wildly gesticulating hands again. “Please listen…“ Liv stopped, Helen’s hands in hers pulling her back to the present, demanding her full attention. She remained quiet for a moment and just looked at Helen who ran her thumbs over the back of her hands, holding them tightly as if she was worried she would run off.

“Yes?“ Liv asked slowly, her heart hammering in her chest.

“You’re quite wonderful, you know?“ Helen smiled softly.

“I uh…“ Liv didn’t know how to respond, it was like her brain had stroked out, which, being a med-tech and all, she knew it hadn’t but that was what it felt like. Helen’s words just didn’t sink in, not until she let go of one hand to be able to place it on her cheek instead.

“You can kiss me again, if, you know… that’s something you want to do…“ She said softly, blushing a little and Liv could tell she meant it. Maybe it would take some getting used to, those feelings, and allowing herself to feel them but Liv was determined to help her along. Help her to accept them for the precious thing that they were and allow herself the freedom to find a kind of happiness that she previously hadn’t considered for herself.

“Oh I really want to…“ Liv’s inhibitions fell away in one liberating blast. She took Helen’s face in her hands and kissed her. Properly. With all the love and longing she had carried in her heart for so long and Helen didn’t pull away, she wasn’t scared or overwhelmed, she just leaned into it, kissed her back and held her close.

“You’re right, you know…“ Helen whispered as she rested her forehead against Liv’s.

“About what?“ Liv asked softly, running her fingers through Helen’s soft blonde hair like she had longed to ever since meeting her.

“With what you said in the Tower about time… and love…“ Helen closed her eyes. “Love is begun by time…“

“Shakespeare.“ Liv chuckled at the irony of them both thinking of the same quote. For all they knew, Hamlet might be having it’s world premiere at the Globe right now.

“We’ve been through so much together. Experienced so much. Spend so much time together. Precious time. Time doesn't just bring love… it’s also inhabited by it…“ Helen broke off, embarrassed and Liv wouldn’t push her for more. She had already gotten so much more than she had dared hope for. They had so much more time yet to come.

“You do have a way with words, Helen Sinclair…“ Liv whispered, not trusting her voice not to break were she to speak up.

“Well, that’s sort of my job…“ Helen chuckled and Liv laughed, shaking her head to herself. She didn’t have a way with words herself, so she just leaned in and kissed her again, confident she could get her point across another way.

“Liv? Helen? What are you…“ A voice called from down the road, footsteps hurrying closer. “Oh… Uh…“ The Doctor halted, confused for a moment.

“Doctor! We thought you were still… preoccupied…“ Liv let go of Helen who blushed like a teenager caught by their parents while making out with their crush.

“Yes, the artefact, I…“ The Doctor started but Liv interrupted him:

“We’ve dealt with it.“

“You have?“ His face fell, almost disappointed and the two of them nodded. “Without me?“ There was a long pause as they nodded again. “Well, that’s just marvellous, isn’t it. How did you do it?“ He exclaimed after brief consideration. Helen and Liv exchanged amused glances, knowing full well he usually preferred to be the one to safe the day but they were quite capable in their own right.

“That’s a bit of a complicated story.“ Liv chuckled, wondering how to best explain without mentioning his future wife or the fact he would eventually turn into a very pretty blonde.

“I like a good story, let’s get back to the TARDIS then, if I can work out where I parked it…“ He looked around slightly disoriented. “I’ll put the kettle on and you can tell me all about it.“

“Maybe another time…“ Liv said, closing her hand around Helen’s as they started walking in search of the TARDIS.

“What?“ The Doctor looked over his shoulder, confused, watching the two of them following after him. He frowned and they could virtually see the clocks ticking in his brain. He was trying to work out what was different and why they would possibly be turning down a marvellous cup of tea.

“The recounting of the story… maybe that can wait a little while.“ Liv explained.

“Why?“ He seemed genuinely put out and they almost felt sorry for him.

“It’s just, Liv and I, we have some other stuff we want to talk about…“ Helen came to her aid, giving her hand a squeeze and Liv felt her heart soar. She had expected Helen to be more reluctant to hold her hand, particular in a public place in the distant past where it certainly was even less permissible than she had experienced. She could only hope that it didn’t feel as strange as she might have feared but the it felt extremely right.

“Right…“ The Doctor huffed, trying his best not to let his disappointment show. “Guess it’s just tea for one then… and you’re sure you don’t want me to tell you how I escaped the chambers of Queen Elizabeth?“ He looked back to find them shaking their heads.

“Not right now, no.“ Liv gave him an apologetic smile.

“Do you think he knows what’s going on?“ Helen whispered to Liv who just shrugged:

“Seems clueless as ever… Maybe he needs a few regenerations to think it over. Another five or so…“ Helen laughed a little and the Doctor started rambling again, up ahead of them, as the TARDIS come into view:

“Mind you, I have got this new novel, that’s gonna keep me busy while you do whatever it is you need to do. Came highly recommended. Detective novel, private eye in old town New York, Melody Malone, that sounds like a woman after my own heart.“

“Certainly sounds like it.“ Helen grinned and Liv laughed:

“Sounds like she would have a bag of tricks up her sleeve… or dress!“

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carynsilver · 5 years ago

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Favorite Stucky Fics

Reading has been a big solace to me during this time of sheltering in place, both novels and fanfic. I wanted to put a little positivity out there for some of my favorite fanfic writers as a way of saying thanks for providing some of the stories that have been brightening my days.

Today, I specifically want to give some love to my favorite Stucky fics. There is just something about Bucky and Steve’s contrasting personalities and their “to the end of the line” friendship turning into something more that is compelling every time, and I love it. I have read many, but these are my absolute favorites--the ones I go back to time and again.

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail by owlet.

Normally, amnesia/memory loss in a love story is one of my nope tropes, so the majority of my Stucky reading veers toward AUs. However, I saw a Tumblr post about this one, and I was hooked by the first chapter. Barnes is a compelling narrator as he figures out how to piece himself back together over the course of this series. It treats his recovery with so much care, and yet Barnes is also a hilarious and grumpy dude that it is fun to read about. There is a touch of unreliable narrator, which is a favorite trope of mine, but even when Barnes doesn’t quite understand what’s going on, he still gets to the heart of a situation in a satisfying way. This is now my preferred head cannon for post CA:tWS.

I just met you (and this is crazy) by @littlesystems

This was the fic that really hooked me on Stucky for the first time. I tended to avoid Stucky due to my nope trope on amnesia, but a Harringrove fic writer I loved recommended this so I tried it. Modern Bucky pulled me in and I fell into Shrunkyclunks, which then got me into Stucky in general. I love how modern Bucky can compliment cannon Steve, and in this fic, his personality is so pre-WWII Bucky that it’s perfect. Adding in Steve 1000% Rogers and some unexpected Tony heart are great additions. Faking dating is another favorite trope of mine, and while this fic isn’t classic fake dating, it skirts the edge in a really fun way.

Prince Charming by Brenda

Brenda writes awesome modern Stucky AUs, but Prince Charming is the best. The concept of someone who sets their exes up with their best friends is fun, and Bucky’s character growth as he navigates being bisexual for the first time is powerful. The supporting cast is great. I love the mix of Howlies and Avengers in his life, and Cap and Winter the pups are perfect. Also, there is something really compelling about both the tattoo shop setting in general and his specialty in tattooing scar tissue. And if you like this one, check out Off the Record and Lessons in Chemistry by Brenda, too.

Sweater Weather by @odette-and-odile

Another Shrunkyclunks, this one centering around holidays and important events. It starts with a misunderstanding in which Bucky doesn’t recognize Steve as Captain America, and it just gets better and better. There is real character growth in both of characters over the course of the series, the Avengers and the Barnes family get really fleshed out, and there is tons of humor as well.

food for thot by @deisderium

This fic introduced me to a new favorite trope--dragons living as humans who treasure a person. And then Deisderium turned the human into a vampire for good measure. The supernatural elements of this world feel so natural, and the dragon world is especially fleshed out in the most recent installment. Deisderium has a way with story-appropriate turns of phrases and writes thirst and pining like a master (check out deep dive and the one less traveled for more of that).

Fan the Flame by Avaaricious

As you can tell, I am partial to modern AUs and Shrunkyclunk stories. This one started off with a funny “meet ugly” concept--swiping right on Tinder by mistake--but it has become one of the most well fleshed out, character oriented stories I’ve ever read. Bucky’s emotional IQ in this story is through the roof, and it touches on issues like PTSD with tact and grace. The chapter about Bucky’s no good very bad day made me teary. Also, this representation of the Barnes family as a whole is the best one I’ve ever read. Fair warning, this is the only one on my all time faves list that is still a WIP, but it’s worth it and chapters come out semi-regularly.

Slide to Answer by relenafanel

There should be more wrong number meet cutes in the world. I love Steve the relationship/dating guy accidentally misdialing Bucky the one night stand guy. And the sequel with Bucky fumbling through his first Christmas in a relationship makes the series.

Red Velvet (a.k.a. Sugar Sweet) by @colorcoated01

I’m not sure why I even started this one, because Daddy kink is not really my thing, but this story is so good that does not even matter. Steve is gorgeous, caring, and basically too good to be true, but what really makes this story is Bucky. He’s sweet, funny, and full of heart, but his youth makes him an unreliable narrator in ways both hilarious and delightful. If the summer vacation sequel to this series ever shows up, I will be so excited!

Not Easily Conquered by dropdeaddream and What Are Fears

In this AU, Steve survives the plane crash, lives to marry Peggy, and then, in the 1960s, a set of never-sent letters from Bucky to Steve during the war come out for public consumption, turning everyone’s life upside-down. This is a new one to my list of faves, but man, it was a gut punch in the best way. Here is the best quote: So how long have I loved you for? Womb to tomb, sweetheart. Since before I was even here at all.

If Wishing Made It So by leveragehunters (Monkeygreen)

I knew that my favorite Stucky fics list would not be complete without something from leveragehunters. This writer’s world creation skills are absolutely incredible. So many of these fics, I’d read and think, “This world is so good, so compelling, that I’d read it without the Marvel characters.” Amazing stuff, seriously! And the way she uses the familiar Marvel characters only enhances the worlds she’s created (and the ones she’s borrowed, too). I love so many of these, I was really torn on which one to put on the list, as there are many I revisit. Finally, I decided on If Wishing Made It So because I wanted one Shrinkyclinks story on my list, and this is a great one. The Winter Soldier as genie works so well, and pairing him with Skinny!Steve was even better. The way she weaves consent issues into the mix is compelling, and their adventures draw you in from the get go. And the all-powerful genie trying in vain to protect the guy who doesn’t want to be protected or healed is a great dichotomy. And if you want other Shrinkyclinks, you can’t go wrong with Chase This Light (dragon trope!) or And Shadows Fall Behind. And, if I hadn’t decided to go Shrinkyclinks on this entry, leveragehunter’s Werewolf? There Wolf AU would totally have been on the list instead.

#stucky #fanfic rec #fanfic #reading #highly reccomend #bucky x steve #bucky barnes #steve rogers #quarantine reads #thanks for writing these fics

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medievalfangirl · 5 years ago

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A Letter From a (very enthusiastic) Fan.

It’s me again! Haha

First of all I’d like to apologize for possible typos since English isn’t my first language but I hope you can understand the general ideia.

When I found your fic, I was a little hesitant to start reading it because usually time travelling stories to the middle ages never seem to completely portray the danger and violence it was known for. I cannot tell you how many stories I read in which the female lead spends all her time at the alehouse spending the money that we have no idea where it came from, being completely accepted for society even though she’s not like them, magically learning how to use a sword the first time she holds it and being her sassy arrogant herself with no punishment whatsoever for her disrespectful behavior. Oh yeah and everybody seems to love and admire her even though she’s just a pain in the ass.

Now that I got that out of my system, I just wanted to say what a pleasant and beautiful surprise it was to run into AGFTF. Girl, that’s MASTER WRITING! I fell for the story instantly because it’s so incredibly realistic (given the circumstances)! Adeline was held captive for months before she was rescued, she was mistreated and suffered for her loose tongue, she realized through the most despicable way that woman’s rights back then were none at all, she even got her period at the worst possible time ever for fuck’s sake! Adeline had to work to pay for her ale she didn’t create gold out of straw like some Rumpelstilkin lead, she faced the prejudice for being a woman and she took a normal amount of time to learn how to use weapons. You absolutely nailed all the descriptions and realism, thank you so much for that.

About Adeline. So hard for me too love a lead usually I just like them but I didn’t stand a chance against Adeline. SHE’S SO FUCKING FUNNY! Every time she has an inappropriate thought or just a sassy one I shit myself so hard I’m laughing. She’s so relatable and yet so unique. Her clumsiness is not Bella Swan/Anastasia Steel kind of thing, it’s something ridiculously funny and more important: the characters think that too. They’re not charmed by the way she fell of a hill and lost her unicorn panties, they’re amused by it as any real person would be. Every time I feel something’s about to go wrong for her or Adeline just makes a dumbass decision I cover my eyes like “oh, no, Adeline, not again”, but I do it laughing and with lots of loves for her. Taking a darker turn, the way she faces what happened at Dunholm is a shitty unhealthy way but it’s how most of us deal with a trauma and I can only hope she’ll learn how to deal with it in time. I love how she’s not obviously a brave warrior but totally determined to prove herself to everyone including herself and this will prove to be a hard journey mainly when she lives by the Murphy’s Law. Although it’s already very clear to me how much she’s matured and developed in that three years passage of time. I’d like to give you my top five moments of Adeline:

Adeline almost flashing Alfred, the Great. (WHAT WAS THAT HAHAHAHA I LAUGHED MY GUTS OUT);

Adeline having her hair braided by Sihtric at the alehouse (I loved this part so much it was like receiving a warm hug during the hardest winter and their friendship is EVERYTHING);

Adeline and Finan talking by the fire at the camp back from Balbury (they’ll have a topic specially for their relationship just you wait);

Adeline learning how to use a bow;

Adeline braiding Dorito’s mane alongside Finan.

Shall we talk about the marvelous job you did with the characters? We shall. It’s like I’m watching a spin-off from TLK because their personalities are FLAWLESS. I can see them talking to me. Hild being that perfect herself, too good a woman for God alone; Sihtric always so silent but also friendly and compassionate; and Finan. Oh dear God, Finan. There’s no other way to describe him other than quoting Adeline:

“I liked the duality of his nature: he laughed so easily but he wasn’t a man to be messed with – he’d fight his corner, and fight twice as hard for his friends”. Girl, you made me cry. In a good way. That is everything I love about Finan and that’s why I was so happy to see that it’s also what Adeline likes about him.

Now last but definitely NOT least.

Finan and Adeline. Sweet Lord that lies in heaven what a perfect ship. Slow-Burn? It’s more like Slow-Motion-Burn, girl. I’m a person with zero patience and you made me CRAVE for a little romance between these two from the beginning. I just kept praying and hoping they’d have some involvement soon but you made me wait and boy was it worth it. You know, it wasn’t tiresome to wait for those too to start flirting because I just adored Adeline’s relationship with everybody else (Sihtric, Hild, Clapa… even Uhtred and Gisela).

I started to feel the reciprocity when Finan chased her outside the hall and Adeline challenged him for a fight. I actually giggled in every scene they had together after the small ruse for the loaf of bread because that’s what took me to sail my shipp. The small bickering, the smirks and smiles they exchanged, flirty Finan implying “he didn’t know he’d have to EAT anything” (I had mad goosebumps I had). You built their relationship with patience and through crumbs I happily fed on only to realize that they were satisfying me and making me beg for more. It was so beautiful to see their friendship turning into something else and now all I want to see is their wedding. Just kidding but not so much.

I get a little excited when a story has everything I was looking for so I’m sorry I actually wrote you a letter hahaha if you managed to read it all, I just wanted to thank you one more time for taking the time and talent to telling us Adeline’s story. I’ll probably write another letter when I’m finished with the 25 chapters and then I’ll just leave a comment on the chapters like a normal person hahaha

Thank you again and congratulations!

XOXO

A response from a very grateful author who cried at least three times reading your letter

Saying a simple thank you feels a little redundant considering the magnitude of emotion your letter brought me, but that’s where I’ll start. THANK YOU! 🥰🥰 You’ve filled my heart with such happiness it’s difficult to put into words. So, again, thank you! 💕

My goal from the beginning with this story was to try and tell a realistic (or at least, as realistic as time travel can be) story, with a character who struggled, and learnt the hard way that this experience wouldn’t be all sunshine and rainbows. I didn’t want to write a ‘main character’ in the way that she is automatically liked and respected and admired, just because she’s The Main Character. I wanted to write about a real person, with flaws, who handles things poorly, and who some people dislike. Because real life is messy like that.

So to have you tell me not only did you find the story realistic as I dearly wished, but it exceeded your expectations? I’m delighted, and blow away a little to be honest. You’ve broken down the story and how you felt about it in such detail, really taking your time, and I feel totally and utterly honoured.

I can’t tell you how happy I am that you like Adeline so much! “oh, no, Adeline, not again” truly is her catchphrase, because while she tries, she is nothing short of a disaster at times. I’m so, so happy you feel you can relate to her and enjoy her journey. I agree with you - I think most of us aren’t good with serious trauma. We get there, but it takes time, and a fair few mistakes first. Again, I’m pleased as punch that you like that she handled things badly, that she’s scared but determined, and trying to grow. You’ve picked up on every single theme I’ve been trying to portray with her as if you’ve been in my head for a sneaky look, and it’s incredible. You’re so insightful and thoughtful 🥰🥰

Taking the time to rank your favourite Adeline moments? Well, you’ve reduced me to happy tears once again. Seriously, I’m just a mushy mess at this point. THANK YOU💕

Ahhh, Finan. Straight away I’ll apologise because you’re so right - Slow-Motion-Burn sums this up perfectly😂 I did wonder if readers would find the wait until the romance a drag, so I’m relieved and happy (you’ve made me happy rather a lot, so i apologise for being repetitive) you enjoyed the build up, and friendships with the rest of the Coccham family. I wanted to push Finan and Adeline towards each other in a way that felt natural, and have this gradual realisation from them both that, oh shit, this person means a lot to me. And the flirting? So much fun to write, so I can assure you that will continue forever, to the wedding and beyond (oh i promise, you’ll have that wedding).

One final thing - please don’t apologise for being a beautiful, kind soul who took the time to share their thoughts and bring a huge, huge amount of happiness to my day. As you can see, I write essays too, so we’re in this together!

Thank you so, so, so much 🥰💕💕

#the best submission #im still crying a little bit #day=made #week=made #and lets be honest month #submission

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oveliagirlhaditright · 5 years ago

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Do you know of any precanon fics in which Sora first realizes he's in love with, or has a crush on, Kairi?

That’s actually a really good question. I feel that I haven’t read many like this? I think I’ve read a few about Sora meeting Kairi... but I don’t think most of them move far enough along to show him falling in love with her after that. Or if they do, they’re AUs. That seems to be a time not really touched on much by the fandom.

Let’s see if I have anything that somewhat qualifies at all...

This fanfiction, https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3131685/1/Melting that’s about what it would have been like if Sora and Riku were stranded at the Dark Margin longer, has some of that. As it has flashbacks about Sora and Kairi’s life. Like, I think there’s a scene where a young Kairi falls asleep in Sora’s arms at the beach. And there’s a line like, “He was holding the girl he’d come to realize he loved, in a few years time”. And then in the next flashback--that’s after that event--I think Sora has realized that.

There’s this cute, one-shot... but I think it’s an AU. Because I think we all know Sora fell in love with Kairi when they were young. But I dunno. With KHIII maybe retconning that, one could maybe see this as more canon-esque now. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6326975/1/Simple-Instructions

This one https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6123196/1/The-Third-Wheel-Effect maaaaaaay does something like that--though full disclosure: I haven’t read it in years, so I don’t remember--as it’s Riku’s PoV after Sora and Kairi get together... and about how he’s okay with it, and thinks it was inevitable, because they were always pulled to each other like gravity. But if it goes any further into it beyond that, I don’t recall.

There was a fanfiction I read years ago--on how Sora and Kairi met--where when they were in kindergarten, Sora saved Kairi from being bullied by these kids saying “People from Destiny Islands don’t have red hair”, but I don’t remember where it is anymore... and I don’t know if it showed them older and falling in love at all. It may be in “V is for Violet” by WishingDreamer5 on fanfiction.net, but don’t quote me on it.

In this story of mine https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/20111551 (that was my attempt at writing Sora saving Kairi at the end of KHIII before Re:Mind came out, that has all the flashbacks in it), I wrote a “what if Sora didn’t at first like Kairi when they were children” type thing, and maybe you get to see the journey of their relationship because of that?

In this story https://archiveofourown.org/works/18773989/chapters/44539129 by ParadiseAvenger, there’s a line about how Sora’s loved Kairi since they were children... but you may not want to go through this whole fic, with many trigger warnings, just for that (I say that with love, as I enjoy ParadiseAvenger’s work. But I also know she’s not for everyone).

And then there’s also White Knight https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6277200/1/White-Knight by aradian nights, who’s an old friend of mine. It’s a canon/AU (that’s technically AU, but has so many canon elements--where it gives you “an I can’t believe it’s not canon” feeling--that it may still appease you. And this is still one of my favorite KH fanfictions of all-time, so I might gush about it here (also, spoilers for this fanfic, if you care). Basically, there’s a Realm of Light and a Realm of Darkness (kind of like in KH, but different. There are also in-between realms, I guess, but we never see them in the fic). Master Xehanort is the Master of the Dark Realm and Master Eraqus is the Master of the Light Realm (and like in canon, they used to be friends... but not anymore). Most of the story takes place in the Dark Realm and with the characters who live there (Sora and Kairi live in the Realm of Light, so you don’t really get to see them much. But more on that later). And Master Xehanort is a full-on dictator--with plans to take over the Realm of Light, of course--and he keeps people in line by taking people’s loved one’s hostages so they’ll do his bidding... And he has gatherings where people who break the rules are whipped or killed, and everyone in the Dark Realm has to watch (so there’s definitely some darkness to this fic. But I don’t think it’s Game of Thrones dark or anything like that. Think The Hunger Games, maybe... though Naminé, who’s insane in this for plot reasons, though still a heroine/sympathetic... can do some off-putting things, where she hurts herself or others. So be warned there). The story mostly follows Terra, Ventus, Aqua, Naminé, and later Vanitas, who all live in the Dark Realm. Oh. And Xion and Riku. And Roxas ends up in the Dark Realm later, too. And the main pairings are Terqua, Vennami (the author of this is actually a RokuNami fan--and there’s even some RokuNami ship tease in here--but she did this to challenge herself to see if she could do a Vennami crack pairing, and thus this whole story was born. And it’s marvelous), and VanAqua. Though there’s some other ship tease in there, too. But back to the SoKai... Both Sora and Kairi live with Master Eraqus (Sora’s trained to be a Keyblade wielder with him, and Kairi also tried to... but was unable to really wield any weapon. But everyone was okay with this, because they sensed she was an important light person they needed to keep around and were happy to protect her). And at one point, Master Xehanort kidnapped Kairi to create Naminé, as Nami’s the key to his plans... and he dropped her back on Eraqus’ door again, half-insane. And while other people who lived with Eraqus (like Roxas) tried their best to make Kairi feel better--and to protect her, because after this, Xehanort’s always sending men to try and kill her, because she’s getting in the way of his plans/Naminé--Sora’s the best at it... and you can sort of see how they’re falling in love with each other this way. And there’s this cute scene where they’re both musing over how their lives are too weird... and I won’t spoil all the reasons as to why they’re having that conversation. And Sora temporarily dies in this, and asks Ven to tell Kairi he loves her... but he’s able to come back in the end. But just note that while this story has its last chapter, it never got its epilogue--and never will (because the author doesn’t like this story much anymore, because she wrote it when she was thirteen/doesn’t really remember what she wrote/has moved on, etc.)--so in some ways, you don’t get full closure (though you still do get closure). At least not on, like, two subjects, so it’s sort of a gut punch in that way. But over time, I’ve come to realize that maybe it was the perfect way to end such a story. Oh. And they’re are Final Fantasy characters in this, too.

Edit: This one by ParadiseAvenger (that I think you can read, no problem, as this one really has no trigger warnings) has Sora thinking about how Kairi had always caught his eye at one part. https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/19324915/chapters/45968650

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ravencromwell · 5 years ago

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Daniel Lavery on the Inherent Conflict of Queerness while growing up evangelical

[reposting from DW, cause I think this'll be immensely powerful to a lot of my followers on here, regardless of religion. Sorry to anyone seeing this on both platforms. :) ]

So, I'm still feverish enough there's no way I can do this justice. With that disclaimer on the table: Chris Hayes is a generally center-left American news host. Not ultra-progressive, but good enough on most issues that his "Why Is This Happening" podcast has been on my radar for a while. Especially since the hour-long podcast interview format gives him a lot more room to shine on one particular subject than does a news broadcast, where he's necessarily skipping from topic to topic.

Being on day two of a raging fever that made sleep impossible, last night seemed an excellent time to listen. (in retrospect, I'm surprised I could understand more than one word in ten, but on the scale of fever-induced oddities it def could've been worse.) The first episode that came up was an interview with Daniel M. Lavery. I had no idea who this Daniel person was, but did remember Amal El Mohtar retweeting a Grave Lavery, who had some insanely insightful comments about being on the gender nonconforming spectrum, and muzzily wondered if they were related. They are, as it happens, in that they're married, and Daniel recently took her last name, for reasons both deeply loving and viscerally difficult that get explained in-show.

As it transpired, Daniel had recently released a memoir, called something like: Something that May Shock and Discredit You, which I intend to try and read soonish. And much of the focus of the show was growing up queer in the evangelical church, and fuck it was a funhouse mirror in which I recognized more of my own life than I think I ever have from a queer writer. With the fever, it was enough of both catharsis and gut-punch I was weepy. Everything from:

the getting saved to please your parents! because there was this sorta inevitability, even if you couldn't articulate it, that well. this is what's gonna happen and everyone expects it to happen. it's supposed to bring so much joy and relief and I want that, and it'll make them so happy

the church not wanting to seem outright homophobic so just being deeply deeply sad about queerness and saying that we should be kind to gay people, the way we should be piteously kind to anyone with an affliction

the slow evolution of queerness. from realizing you were lesbian to realizing it went slightly sideways from that onto the gender-nonconforming spectrum

the fear that doing anything about those feelings will only result in regret, and the terror because no one has any easy answers for you; you just gotta walk the path (I'm still really struggling with this, and hearing it articulated, seeing Daniel's joy after resolving those fears, gave me such peace. No answers--and answers won't really come till I'm a little further away from the familial nest and pursestrings, but such peace that I can just. take small steps and see how they feel. that there's a way to gently ease into possible transition if I find that being nonbinary isn't quite right. And that so much of this is just. doing a thing until you feel out its shape and if that shape is right for you.

And related to this: that it's ok not to have figured this out when you were a kid, or in your early adulthood, even. That if you're doing this in your thirties, you're not the oldest creature to've ever dragged yourself over the finish line, as Lavery hilariously put it. Queer communities are as vulnerable to the youth culture as any other, and it felt deeply validating for Lavery to address this.

And the immense difficulty of familial relationships when it's not so much rage but devastation. As though your queerness has blighted their crops. My interactions aren't as hard as Daniel's, but they're still. really fucking hard. And we hear a lot about families who rage at their queer children, but not so much families where it's just. immense disappointment and vast devastation.

The whole interview is so worth a listen. (had a very hard time finding a screen-reader friendly version, but if Google Podcasts doesn't work in your part of the world, it's available on all the usual suspects from spotify to apple.) But there's one bit that felt deeply revolutionary for me: it was a quote by Daniel's friend that he passed along. God made trans people for the same reason he made wheat and grapes, but not bread and wine. So we, too, could be part of his marvelous creative process, just as we are when we change grapes into wine and wheat into bread; so we can prove that we don't just inhabit our bodies but can sculpt them.

My feelings on faith are more agnostic than anything these days, but my God, if I'd had someone to say that to me as a struggling Christian kid, it might've changed the entire course of my life, and made it so much less complicated, and I'm so grateful there're people making a path for queer folk within religion.

#Daniel lavery #podcast babbling #queer stuff #personal

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 6 years ago

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Psycho Analysis: Ego

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Years ago, comic book movies were absolutely, totally afraid to be even a little weird. Raimi carried the weirdness torch for a while thanks to the success of the Spider-Man trilogy, but for some reason he was the only person unafraid to be goofy; even Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, a movie about one of the more fun and campy classical hero teams, was completely and utterly afraid to show a big man in purple armor who eats planets and so instead opted to show us an intergalactic fart cloud. The precedent set by franchises like Blade, X-Men, and Nolan’s Batman films lingered for a long time.

Then along came James Gunn.

Gunn is a man unafraid to be weird, and Guardians of the Galaxy really changed the game in 2014. There’s a gun-toting raccoon, a talking tree, a bald blue cyborg woman, and an alcoholic duck, and the movie is a smash hit critically and financially; there is now no excuse not to put the wierdest stuff from the comics faithfully into film. And for the sequel, Gunn apparently saw fit to bring in one of Marvel’s most bonkers bad guys: Ego, the Living Planet.

Ego is the perfect example of how to adapt something utterly bizarre from the comics, changing some major elements while still staying true to the nature of the character himself. Ego here is Peter Quill’s father, something that isn’t true in the comics, as well as a Celestial, something also not true in the comics… but he is still a sentient planet, and he is still completely and utterly evil.

Actor: Kurt Russell, 80s superstar and the reason Solid Snake exists, plays Ego to perfection. Ego is a character with, well, an ego; he’s selfish, self-centered, and lacking in empathy, but he also needs to come off as charming and friendly or we the audience would see through him immediately. Russell is the exact perfect man for that job; this is a guy who managed to play a character who was mildly transphobic and still have them come off as likable. Russell is also able to switch from affable and charming to scary and furious with ease, which is a big help after the reveal when Ego drops all pretense. Russell just kills it, there’s no other way to put it.

Motivation/Goals: Ego has an almost sympathetic goal, one that, from a certain point of view, makes him come off as a bit sympathetic. The guy was drifting alone in the void for eons and had to piece himself together, so is it any wonder he was horrifically lonely when he was finally able to set out to find life? Of course, that loneliness and isolation led to him developing some really nasty personality traits, and so he decided the best course of action after finding out other intelligent life was “boring” was to plant seeds on every planet, sire a child with powers just like him, and then wipe out all life and turn all the planets in the universe into extensions of himself. It is a plan truly befitting a character with the name “Ego,” and while it is true his motivation is at least a little deserving of sympathy, his goals and how he goes about trying to ameliorate his pain is what makes Ego an irredeemable monster.

Personality: Ego is perhaps one of the most aptly named characters in all of fiction, and he’s also one of the few characters one could make the honest claim that his ego is literally the size of a planet. Ego puts forth this identity of a charming, fatherly figure, happy, affable, jokey… just really sweet and charming. But much like the avatar he uses, it’s all just a mask.

Look at how he talks about what he did to Peter’s mom; he says it with such a wistful, resigned melancholy flavored with this “I did what I had to do” smugness that is a twisted reflection of how one might recall their first date, and then follows it up with a horrifically callous response of “I know that sounds bad.” Ego is such a monstrous, unrepentant sociopath with so little regard for life that is beneath his lofty stature that I just don’t think he really comprehends things like empathy. He is the ultimate psychopathic manchild, an arrogant egotist who hides behind this friendly veneer until the moment things don’t go the way he wants, at which point he starts screaming, ranting, and raving. The fact he is completely and utterly taken aback that Peter would unload multiple shots into him after being told Ego gave his mother a brain tumor is really telling of just what kind of person he really is.

Final Fate: The bomb Groot planted on Ego’s brain goes off, and Ego’s avatar crumbles to dust as the planet begins to blow up, seeing as its brain just got obliterated. The beautiful karma of this moment makes it extra delicious; after putting that tumor on Meredith Quill’s brain, is it not fitting he die after having something planted on his brain?

Best Scene: Ego just really dominates every scene he’s in, but I think the big reveal, where he shows just what a sick and depraved villain with a lack of care for life as he reveals what he did to Meredith Quill, is one of the MCU’s finest scenes.

Best Quote: It took only one single line to cement Ego as the most horrible, evil, disgusting monster in the MCU: “It broke my heart to put that tumor in her head.”

Final Thoughts & Score: Ego is fantastic on so many levels, but one level I think should not be overlooked is on a meta level. As I mentioned, for the longest time silliness and weird concepts were out the door when it came to superhero films. One needs only look at the X-Men franchise to see how dour things were, with their dull black costumes and overwhelmingly miserable and unfun atmospheres. More lighthearted or sillier fare did not go over well, as Iron Man 2 and Green Lantern can attest, and magic was totally absent for a while in the MCU probably because of fears audiences wouldn’t take it seriously. But James Gunn changed all that, and I think Ego definitely played a huge role in cementing that audiences will embrace and love in the weirdest stuff out of comics. Thanks to Ego, I think a lot of other creators became unafraid to let that freak flag fly and put things in movies they might have been too worried to put in before, with the ultimate and best example being Mister Mind joining the DCEU in the end of Shazam! It gives me hope that Tawky Tawny might show up there in a sequel.

On a character level, Ego is without a doubt the most punchable scumbag in the entire MCU, with only Mysterio coming close. The fact he casually admits to killing Peter’s mother and expects him to be okay with it… Can you really blame Peter for immediately unloading his guns into his father? I mean, when faced with a man who is utterly unrepentant in killing a loved one that they also claimed they loved and says they had to do it to further their goals, would you not also have a knee-jerk reaction like that? Yes, I am getting at this being a canon moment that shows Peter’s reaction to Thanos in Infinity War was not a stupid moment, it was a moment that was built up by what he did to Ego. And I think that just adds to Ego even more, because he helped cement a character trait of Peter’s that would lead to one of the most horrific gut punches in cinematic history.

Ego is an easy 10/10, and is one of the MCU’s greatest villains. He’s a perfect “love to hate” character, and he’s also a perfect villain for a story about family. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 has family as a focal point of the story, with the arcs of every single character revolving around the idea that family doesn’t have to be blood ties, it can be with the people who love you and who you’ve bonded with the most. Yondu’s line of “He may’ve been your father, boy, but he wasn’t your daddy” is what really sells it, honestly; Ego is Peter’s biological father, yes, but Yondu raised him and even if he didn’t always do right by him, in the end he showed himself to be a better man and better dad than Ego ever could have hoped to be. I suppose that’s a bit off topic from Ego himself, but I feel like it’s important to note just how deeply thematic he is as a villain, tying into the core message of the story while also letting loose in utter sociopathic villainy.

I think there is a great irony in Ego’s ultimate plan; for all his claims of being lonely and desiring others like him, what exactly does he think would happen if the entire universe was nothing but himself? Would he truly have been satisfied? Perhaps; he was a narcissistic to the highest degree for sure. But I like that there is some ambiguity to things about Ego, I like how there are some things to think about, I like how a villain who has a plan that is not clearly thought out by them yet that they believe is the proper course of action is something of a setup for what Thanos would be.

And really, out of every other villain in the MCU, Ego is most like Thanos. The obvious part is the plan, though only Endgame Thanos really wanted to reshape the universe in his image; still, as I mentioned, their plans are both something they believe is the true and righteous course of action, though Thanos is far more sympathetic in this regard. They also both felt the need to sacrifice loved ones in pursuit of their goals, and they both have incredibly poor relationships with some of their kids. I think the main difference is that Thanos, for all his faults, does have some empathy, he does have some sympathetic traits even if they don’t redeem how much of an awful person he was. Ego has none of that. Ego squanders any sympathy he could have gained by being utterly unrepentant and casual about his misdeeds, which include slaughtering his other children and killing Peter’s mother despite claiming to have loved her dearly. At least Thanos openly wept at what he did to Gamora, at least he felt sadness, guilt, and regret. Ego just doesn’t care. He did it because whatever he really felt for Meredith, there was only one person he could ever truly love: Himself.

In short, Yondu was right: that guy was a jackass.

#Psycho Analysis #Ego #Guardians of the Galaxy #Marvel #MCU

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monkey-network · 6 years ago

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Everything Wrong With: Into The Spiderverse [Done Right]

Cinema Sins dropped the fucking ball with that take, so I decided to do it better in honor of this movie releasing on Netflix. All sins will end with a (+), all sin removals will end with a (-). 3, 2, 1, PENGU!

Logos aside, got to sin for that single tone in the music getting uncomfortably louder to me during them. (+)

Nice try, jokes on narration is still narration (+)

Bonus petty sin for not casting Tobey (+)

I love ya, movie, but you just had to crack wise at the best thing to come out of Spiderman 3 (+)

Petty sin for ringing me flashbacks of my childhood. Sure it wasn’t a spidey popsicle, but it hurt just the same (+)

Wow Spidey, way to downplay the other heroes in New York (+)

Sin for making me think Post Malone is a good musician. Good meaning producing more than 1 good song. (+)

Sin off for giving me that pure melanin that is Miles’ family. (-)

Assuming this is all the same morning, how long did it take Miles to get ready? Jefferson was only in a tee at the house yet was conveniently able to catch Miles on the street, fully suited, in the car. (+)

There are police in this movie. (+)

Jameson can’t be around for this one. smh (+)

I’m with Miles. Dad was being pretty petty right there. (+)

Petty sin for making me look at calculus, and I know that’s calc. (+)

Miles shouldn’t be needing all them books. I’m not even there and this school already feels like torture. (+)

Sin off for that smooth Einstein quote (-)

Come on, Miles, you tried too hard to fail. (+)

Seriously, NO student should be having that many books regardless of the schedule. This private school is worse than college. (+)

Okay, three sins off for playing Biggie Smalls (-)(-)(-)

Tho I gotta sin back for censorsing the vocals.(+)

Miles doesn’t at all feel the spider crawl up his body. Even I could feel a bug on my sleeves. (+)

Yet again, radioactive spider bite doesn’t immediately kill ‘em. (+)

A sin not to the movie, but to Marvel for essentially undercutting Miles’ roomie to make way for Homecoming essentially taking that for themselves. I haven’t forgotten. (+)

Sin off for Miles and (G)wanda’s adorkable moment (-)

Says his plan is terrible and throws him over thinking that’ll work (+)

Snitches (+)

Officer says open up and forgets his key to his own office? (+)

Middle schooler is still gunning after taking a steel beam to the gut (+)

What happen to the Green Goblin? He is never mentioned again after this. (+)

“You don’t have a choice“ cliche (+)

Okay, sin off for the flash drive joke (-)

Miles has a phone capable of recording that in good quality (+)

Goblin thinks that’s a good idea that won’t kill him (+)

They killed the Green Goblin. (+)

“No pressure.” (+)

Prowler has special eyewear yet couldn’t recognize Miles? (+)

Bonus sin for the cape (+)

Poor choice of music for a serious scene (+)

Stan lee cameo. Obligated sin off. (-)

Miles survives that fall (+)

Miles takes off layers in the middle of a snowy night and is not cold in the slightest. Not even a shiver in his voice. (+)

This isn’t the last time (+)

I fear what a Spidey themed restaurant is (+)

Beter gets 11 slams across the city, a tombstone to the face, face across high moving pavement, countless more face slams, and doesn’t suffer a full on concussion. I get Spider-Man’s strong but he’s not regenerative nor indestructible. (+)

“Don’t watch the mouth, watch the hands.“ The implications (+)

Beter would be better than Jeremy at CinemaSins (+)

Dude, you got sauce on the lens. (+)

Preferential, but the blurriness of the less focused backgrounds honestly hurts my eyes sometimes, like someone rubbed vaseline on everything but the focused. (+)

Two sins off for playing St. Elmo’s Fire (-)(-)

Beter being barefoot in the snow makes me wanna scream (+)

Tell that to Spiderman E-751263 with his web cape (+)

Ah, the frame that sparked the most basic meme ever (+)

Hobo peter is better Peter, Miles (+)

Two sins for the horrible sight of a desktop (+)(+)

The cellular decay and the glitching doesn’t play all that much in the stakes. The Spidermun don’t get weaker because of it nor affects their combat until the very end. It all makes sense nonetheless, but it feels like an afterthought watching again. (+)

Doc Ock? Still hot. Seven Sins off! (-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Doc’s arms are no match for yoga balls (+)

Gwen’s arrival is pretty convenient (+)

Scientists don’t immediately notice/react to the Spidermun barging in (+)

Shout out to the female scientist that wanted no part of it all and just wanted her drink (-)

Bagel! (-)

Microscopic scientists can’t apparently aim for shit (+)

Sin off for the hard rock (-)

Gwen was able to keep all that hair in her mask without a net (+)

Stop saying one last time. There’s gonna be sequels. (+)

“I don’t do friends“ cliche (+)

The Comic Con joke? Peak comedy. (-)

Another sin off for Miles and (G)wen adorkable moment (-)

Wait, wasn’t it snowing outside the other night? It all melted that quick? (+)

Beter gets sticky shit on the doorbell. (+)

Three sins off for Aunt May (-)(-)(-)

How come no other hero is around? Daredevil and the Defenders? Strange? Reed? Nobody else noticed that explosion and is reacting accordingly? (+)

I don’t wanna know where them wet hands have truly been. (+)

Nicholas Cage... (-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

The B team don’t get better screentime other than a couple moments each. Benefits the story but it’s still a tad underwhelming in hindsight. (+)

Also, would’ve preferred Peni having a less kawaii design. (+)

You mean Noir had a gun? And doesn’t have it? (+)

“Punch Nazis“ (-)

Also, I’m getting Kung Fu Panda vibes now (-)

Way to put on the pressure (+)

What is this music? (+)

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN (+)

Cars continue to move even when driver should realize something’s happening to their car (+)

RIP Motorcycle (+)

Cool Sp//dr scene (-)

Also Peni wears heelys (-)

Has anybody gotten any sleep? I’m not sinning this one but it feels like nobody’s had the chance to rest since it’s been a couple days.

How was he followed? Didn’t notice a tracker or anything to hint this. Oh wait, the suit.... Goddamn it. (+)

Peni was just standing there for a bit. Get in the robot! (+)

Tombstone gets thrown out only to instantly come back in (+)

Barely anybody in the neighborhood is outside to see the action. Everyone there can’t be that smart. (+)

A bit tasteless, but it’s a bit kinda embarrassing that Prowler was outsmarted by a kid in a Spiderman halloween costume. (+)

Kingpin got out that car faster than a child support dodger (+)

Sins off for Aaron’s final words (-)(-)

You honestly think he’d be okay? (+)

This music (+)

Admittedly, tying him up in this pretty trashed room is not a good look (+)

Beter already named the lightning strike after only seeing it once (+)

“You got the spark“ cliche (+)

Sin off for the pun anyways. (-)

“Leap of Faith“ scene (-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Okay, now:

The re purposed quotes overplay the quiet suspense of the scene (+)

Assuming this takes place on the same night, I refuse to believe that suit was able to dry so quickly after all that paint (+)

And that Miles is able to just put on the mask without worrying about the paint fumes (+)

Miles puts on a couple layers over the suit only to take ‘em off later on. (+)

Why’d they take the bus? (+)

Only good joke from Spider-Ham and he didn’t even set it up (+)

Beter loss his beer gut overnight it seems (+)

Also that scene with MJ was pretty flat. Funny, but flat. (+)

“Last second gotcha from the villains“ cliche (+)

Convenient timing (+)

So Doc’s just okay with destroying her machine like that? (+)

Best line from Porker (-)

Welp, Doc Ock is certainly gone. Seriously, we never see her again. It’s tragic. (+)

Smashing isn’t gonna help, Fisk. Phrasing (+)

Miles is somehow able to figure out everyone’s dimensions (+)

Last sin off for Miles and Gwen adorkable moment (-)

You’d think Miles would try to reason with Kingpin so they don’t possibly die? (+)

Fisk is unnaturally agile enough to catch a flying train (+)

Well that plot thread was done in an instant (+)

Kingpin just stands there. Doesn’t finish him off when he genuinely has the chance. (+)

Jefferson survives the explosion unscathed. (+)

“One Last Time“ (+)

Miles just lets his roomie know his identity without question (+)

Drones are the true villains (+)

Couple Sins off for banging credits themes (-)(-)

Also a few for the great credits sequence (-)(-)(-)

Saw some t-posing (+)

Great quote from Stan Lee (-)

Seven sins off for great animation overall (-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

A good End Credits scene (-)

“One Last Time“ (+)

SINS TOTAL: 102 - 79 = 23

Statement: Puberty is a cruel mistress.

#into the spider verse #spider man into the spider verse #spider man #mnky shitpost #marvel #long post #cinema sins

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theasiantvshipper-blog · 6 years ago

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Magnus the Magnificent (3x19 Episode Review for Magnus’ Storyline)

“Magic doesn’t come from talent, it comes from pain”. -Lev Grossman, The Magicians.

This post is strictly for Magnus’ storyline in the 3x19 “Aku Cinta Kamu” episode of The Shadowhunters.

I can’t even begin to stress how excited I was to finally see Magnus unravel right before our eyes. He was a marvel on screen. Harry Shum Jr couldn’t have delivered it better, and oh my goodness, the cinematography of his scenes were beyond! (okay, I maybe a little biased because it’s Magnus, but duh, who isn’t?). This is probably one of the best performances Harry has had in the show. His nuances were on point, the emotions raw, you almost want to believe that Matthew (not Alec) actually broke his heart into a million little pieces. In that moment, Harry and Magnus were one. Enough with the gushing, truth is, those flashbacks, if not for Harry’s impeccable performance, won’t be as powerful as they came out to be. Why? Allow me to break it down for you:

Magnus and his magic- right off the bat, we get Asmodeus returning his magic to Magnus. And almost instanteously, Magnus felt alive. That soft smile upon getting his magic back only to realize that he still doesn’t have Alec, does not make for a very good cause for celebration in his part. Thankfully, he got out even before Asmodeus could have said something stupid and evil.

The Love Lock Scene- this has already been teased a few days before the episode aired so everyone already had their feels about this. And we were not happy that Aku Cinta Kamu was only used in a flash back scene. But like a thief in the night, the scene after that love lock scene delivered the punch in the gut that we never knew we needed. Magnus took the lock and burned it. Now if you ask me, this is his way of breaking up with Alec. A parallel if you must to the book scene- except this time, no words were needed. That was pure art.

Madzie Scene- by the time this flashback came, I was already reeling with pain from the previous scene that this one almost fell flat. It felt out of place, almost forced so that we can gush about Magnus and Alec actually being dads. I mean, cmon, if that’s not lazy writing, I don’t know what is. We go from love locks to dancing in the Havana to kids? If not for Harry, I would think this was another Malec bait. Why do they do this to us? Really? Why?

Flashback Montage- this is just angst. I love angst but cmon, let’s not push it.

Magnus vs Jem- this one was drama gold. When he sought for Jem’s help to erase his memories, I knew Jem wouldn’t agree to it (don’t we all) but I didn’t expect for Jem to actually break his vow of silence for his dearly beloved warlock friend, Magnus. What I truly loved about this scene, apart from Jonathan’s delivery of his lines (which were very well written btw), was the sincerity of the gesture. When Jem told Magnus that he refuses to do what Magnus’ asks of him, pointing out that Magnus is powerful enough to do it himself, if he had the heart to do so, really spoke to me. Jem wasn’t trying to stop Magnus, nor was he enabling Magnus. In that moment, Jem wasn’t a silent brother, he was Magnus’ friend. A friend Magnus needed in dire times like these. Finally, the writers got something right this episode.

Magnus vs. his Memories Part deux- Magnus, convinced that the only way to get through this pain is to rid himself of the memories that he and Alec shared; I felt a pang of pain, guilt, regret and loneliness. He longed for someone to love him for who he is, flaws and all. Alec was his person. Now that his person is gone, it begs the question, how does one live without the other? Thankfully (did I just write that?), Asmodeus was there to prevent that from happening. While the gesture is appreciated, the intent isn’t. Asmodaddy didn’t want Magnus to lose his memories because that would mean losing his hold over Magnus as well. This son of a b*tch. And I quote from another TV show: “Magic doesn’t come from talent, it comes from pain”- Lev Grossman, The Magicians. This couldn’t be any more true for Magnus and Asmodeus. He needs the pain to fuel the power he knew Magnus had in him. Asmodeus knows that he’s everything that Magnus has at this point, just as when he was a young boy, Magnus is back to where he was before. Alone with the power of the nine kingdoms of hell. Notice how Magnus’ magic turns red towards the end of the episode- blatant foreshadowing indeed.

Magnus and Asmodeus Relationship- I seldom discuss parental relationships when writing my reviews because I think, we all have different upbringing in life. Not everyone is privileged to have a loving family who supported them, some of us (myself included) maybe products of abuse, abandonment etc. And it’s a very touchy subject for me personally. But upon seeing how the writers have handled this episode, I’d say they did an okay job of not screwing this up. This episode shone a light on Magnus and Asmodeus relationship, as I discussed in my previous post, he is his father, and he is his son. We cannot change that (as with many things in our lives as well). What Asmodeus did to Magnus is unspeakable, he turned him into a peon of power that he can manipulate whenever he wants. Without Magnus’ humanity keeping him grounded, who knows what Magnus could have done with the world. In this episode, we catch a glimpse of how Asmodeus is trying to be a father to Magnus, in the most conniving, bone-chilling kind of way. Magnus, alone and desolate, knows better. He would never willingly join his father, but at that exact moment, when his world is closing in on him, Asmodeus was there. Sometimes in life, when everything is said and done, when the rest of the world has turned their back on us, there are people who despite our history and conflict, will always be there. And that was who Asmodeus was to Magnus. He leaned in to hug his father, and let Asmodeus support him as he felt the weight of his world collapse on him. Magnus knew there was always a price, but it was a price he was willing to pay, for a brief moment of respite. The words, misery loves company, have never been truer.

So the real question now is, with his Magic back, a demonic father by his side, will Magnus embrace his full demon potential or is Alec’s love enough for him to stay true to his humanity? Will he accept his destiny as the prince of hell, or will he defy his father one last time?

We’ll find out soon enough.

#magnus bane #magnus x alec #malec #shadowhunters #shadowhunters 3x19 #aku cinta kamu

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ramblerambleramble · 5 years ago

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I need to get this off my chest...

It’s been months since Endgame came out and I’ve watched the damn film 3x now and I’ve sobbed and cried and mourned and yadda yadda yadda - you get the picture.

One thing I still come back to and can’t fucking get over is the end of Steve’s story. In one fell swoop, Steve’s character development was completely regressed and it felt like a punch in the gut sitting in the theater all those months ago watching the end of Steve’s story unravel.

WHT THE FUCK WAS GOING THROUGH THE RUSSO’S MINDS?

You spent 3 movies, 3 FUCKING MOVIES, a WHOLE DAMN TRILOGY establishing the fact that Bucky is Steve’s family.

First Avenger, Steve and Bucky before WW2. Bucky staying in the war to watch Steve’s back. Steve after Bucky falls and the spiral of rage and revenge he falls into.

Winter Soldier, Steve in the future and his lack of a social life beyond work and visiting Peggy (who is brilliant but has fucking amnesia and has lived a fucking life WITHOUT Steve). Steve once he realizes who exactly the Winter Soldier is. Steve and his absolute faith in Bucky even when Bucky has 70 years worth of brainwashing. Steve, being a stubborn asshole, looking for Bucky all over the world.

Civil War, Steve finding Bucky in Bucharest. Steve going against the damn fucking UN to protect Bucky.

That damn fucking quote that keeps being repeated, “ Even when I had nothing I had Bucky.”

It’s has LITERALLY been established that Steve and Bucky are family whether it be platonic or romantic - it doesn’t fucking matter because they care for and love each other. For the Russo’s to just toss all of that into the trash? WTF!!!

You couldn’t have given Steve a different ending? Why not let him return the stones, come back, and fucking live his life in the present. Give Steve a fucking farm next to Clint and he can live in retirement there; be “Uncle Steve.” Or he could train the next generation of Avengers? Literally anything other then Steve staying in the past would have been better!

My point is, Steve might’ve loved Peggy and wished for a life with her but it doesn’t change the fact that Peggy had moved on. She lived her life, got married, had kids, had a whole damn career separate from Steve. Hell, Peggy literally tells Steve that she lived her life, her only regret was that Steve didn’t get to live his.

Steve might’ve left someone important in the past but he has just as many important people in his current present and for him to leave them like that? Fucking regression on character development much.

Now that I’ve gotten this off my chest! I’d like to say, and I’m working with what I’ve got here, I’d love to see some cameos of elderly Steve in the upcoming Marvel films. Or maybe Tony and Nat up in heaven just rooting everybody on🤷🏼‍♂️

#avengers endgame #captain america #steve rogers #avengers #fuck you #like wtf #russo brothers #so fucking mad #irritated #fucking salty #so salty #bucky barnes #winter soldier #firstavenger #civil war #there i said it #got it off my chest finally

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daisymondays · 6 years ago

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Hello! So I have this idea that in order to become a better writer, you could read the books that influenced a writer you admire. So I wanted to ask you: which, would you say, are 3 novels that influenced you? xx

Hi!!! i am literally absolutely useless in every single way and so haven’t answered this for about 10 years, and apologies too to the Nonnie who sent me:

What are the stories that have infuenced you the most or that mean the most to you?

A good few months ago, because I really did want to answer this properly which requires me sitting down and applying my brain cells (something i’m loathe to often do), but I’m here and I’m ready to answer

As I’ve said over and over again my biggest three both in writing, reading and all media really is characters, I will follow good characters anywhere. Case and point, my love of Steve and Bucky etc. despite the fact Marvel keep doing that with the plot. And so when I think of three books that have influenced me, the ones that spring to mind are the ones I could never totally shake because a part of those characters just lodged themselves in my head

So here we go:

The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater, and in particular the first one, The Raven Boys is something I always think of with strong characters. I think Stiefvater has such a brilliant way with characters and despite the magical plots, there’s always a part of them grounded in reality that I think shines through so clearly in their interactions and how human they are. And she’s very good at description too, I can picture each of the gang and then their surrounding relatives with just the few choice descriptions she uses on them that stick. I think have some of the clearest ideas of these characters that I do of any character, and it never feels overdone. So yeah, Stiefvater has always been a huge influence on me and the way I handle characters and The Raven Boys is probably one of my most read books

And two of my fave quotes to show the contrast she manages so well:

Blue tried not to look at Gansey’s boat shoes; she felt better about him as a person if she pretended he wasn’t wearing them. – Gansey’s boat shoes are my life

She recognized the strange happiness that came from loving something without knowing why you did, that strange happiness that was sometimes so big that it felt like sadness – I’ve such a weakness for Stiefvater’s writing style

Looking for Alaska by John Green, like look I know it became cool to hate John Green but this book was my L I F E growing up, and thats why its an influence on me. I get people say that Green’s characters are too pretentious etc etc, but like so was I growing up and so there were so many quotes about accepting your place in the world, and god like i read this book minimum once a year for about eight years. If Stiefvater is one of my most read books then this is THE most read book. And the way that influenced me was trying to add that bit of depth to my writing, give the reader something they can latch onto and see themselves in and take away from it. Especially now as I work on a YA story, like being a teenager is hard and its important to see a reflection of yourself somewhere, idk, i guess this book just stuck with me

“I just did some calculations and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.” – this still makes me laugh

When adults say, “Teenagers think they are invincible” with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don’t know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail. – my possible favourite quote ever as a teen, idk it just resonated with me

We Were Liars by E. Lockheart because I finished this book and sat there on my bed with tears streaming down my face for a good hour and then picked it back up and read it all over again. It’s not a long book, but fuck it has some plot twists and turns of phrase that just utterly punch you in the gut. I think it influences me a bit in the kind of style of imagery it uses, relying more on turns of phrase than flat out descriptions – if that makes any sense – the author just had a way with words, and if i can write something that made me feel half as much as that book did than i’ll be very very happy.

Be a little kinder than you have to. // Do not accept an evil you can change – these are quotes that sticks with me to this day, life mottos if you will

and then an example of the imagery for the pain the character feels:

Then he pulled out a handgun and shot me in the chest. I was standing on the lawn and I fell. The bullet hole opened wide and my heart rolled out of my rib cage and down into a flower bed. Blood gushed rhythmically from my open wound, then from my eyes, my ears, my mouth. It tasted like salt and failure. The bright red shame of being unloved soaked the grass in front of our house, the bricks of the path, the steps of the porch.

Anyway tadaaa!! These are all YA novels that I read as a teen, but I guess they all just stuck with me in a way, influenced my writing and the kind of things I hope to achieve as a writer ❤️

#gracie speaks

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bevioletskies · 8 years ago

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20 questions [3/20]

characters: peter/gamora, guardians-centric

fandom: avengers academy/marvel cinematic universe

summary: wasp has a new competition in store for the students of avengers academy, and there’s money involved. so obviously, peter and gamora have to pretend to be a couple in order to win. wait, what?

chapter preview: gamora worries about thanos, peter and gamora have a moment, and the sovereign have returned to be terrible and annoying (again).

word count: 4121 | total word count: 118k

a/n: warning for canon-typical violence and vague descriptions of injuries near the end - attempting space battles with regular quinjets ain’t easy, yo.

ao3 | previously | next | masterpost

“Nomination forms? Nomination forms! Right over here!” Pepper was hovering over the crowd in her repulsor boots, hollering down to anyone who bothered to listen. It was Friday afternoon, and everyone was spread out across the lawn, lazily soaking in the sun and enjoying the good weather. Pepper, however, was determined to help Janet get her project to work.

Gamora’s eyes scanned the area for her friends, nervously adjusting her guitar strap on her shoulder. They had been too busy the last few days of the week for socialization, aside from a quick “hello” around campus, but now? It was showtime.

Upon spotting Yondu’s fin (it really was quite helpful in distinguishing the Guardians from the crowd), she walked over in what she hoped was a casual manner, and neatly dropped herself down next to Peter. She removed her guitar and set it down in front of her, before turning to pat him on the cheek with a gloved hand. “Hello,” Gamora said in a passably affectionate voice.

Peter grinned, reaching to gently grasp her wrist with his fingers and hold her hand there. “Hey yourself,” he said. “You have a good session with Ares?”

“It was acceptable,” she said. “I broke a dagger on his helmet.”

“That’s my girl,” Peter beamed, releasing her for a moment, only to reach over and squeeze her hand. Somewhere, Gamora could vaguely hear Kamala crying tears of joy.

“Think I’m gonna be sick,” Rocket said, looking up from his pile of junk. “Can you two do this someplace else?”

“We’re trying to win,” Peter whispered. “Let us be cute, man.”

“I am Groot.” The little one stuck his head out from under a pile of coils. “I am Groot?”

“No, don’t call them mom and dad, that’s weird.”

“I’m leaving now,” Nebula announced loudly, standing up. “Congratulations on being insufferable within 30 seconds of your arrival.”

“Bye!” Peter called after her without a hint of irony in his voice. Gamora would’ve scolded him, but his fingers tightened around hers as if to reassure her, and she decided she would let it go this time. She instead decided to move slightly closer so their shoulders were touching, and he turned back to smile at her so dopily that she smiled back.

“You are ridiculous,” Gamora informed him. She finally removed her hand from his so she could set her guitar on her lap and began plucking at it idly. “Drax, have you checked the amps at Club Galaxy like I asked?”

“Yes, and they are in terrible shape,” Drax said more cheerfully than she would have liked. “The money you and Quill will win us should get us a more than sufficient set of replacements.”

“Hey now, why is it down to me and Gamora?” Peter protested. “There’s like, a million other things we could win, too. Like, Groot is totally gonna win Cutest Recruit.” The little tree nodded enthusiastically in agreement. He was very cute.

“That is only five thousand units,” Drax pointed out. “We require ten to fix the equipment at Club Galaxy.”

“Dude, that was just an example,” Peter groaned, slinging an arm around Gamora’s shoulders. “Point is, Gamora and I have a pretty good chance of winning, but you can’t rely on us alone.”

“That reminds me,” Gamora said, letting her fingers rest for a moment. “Elektra is trying to coerce - I mean, convince - me that you and I should go on a ‘double date’ with her and Murdock.”

“Oh god.” Peter slapped a hand to his forehead, slumping slightly. She felt his body weight shift to rest against her. It wasn’t completely unpleasant. “Matt’s cool and all - I mean, blind ninja! - but Elektra scares me.”

“You’re dating the most dangerous woman in the d’ast galaxy,” Rocket reminded him, fishing Groot out of the pile of parts and setting him down on his lap. “Nothing should scare you at this point.”

“Grow a spine, Quill!” Yondu punched him in the arm. “Ain’t nothing about that Elektra should scare you when you've got Gamora here.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Gamora spotted a flash of yellow swishing about a few feet away. Thinking quickly, she continued to move closer until she was practically on Peter’s lap and turned so her nose was mere inches from his cheek. “You aren’t scared of me, are you, Star-Lord?” she said softly, her mouth ghosting over his ear, though not so softly that Janet couldn’t hear. Sure enough, an excited squeak joined in on their conversation, along with the sound of a phone camera.

“Cu-u-ute!” Janet sing-songed, lowering her phone so she could get a better look. “Don’t mind me, just checking in on the Academy’s hottest new couple. Well, when I say new - ”

“Hottest? Don’t you mean cutest?” Peter winked. Janet giggled, holding up her phone again.

“Say hello to the Academy’s Snapchat,” she said. “Exclusive - Star-Lord and Gamora are officially dating. What's their ship name?” She ended the recording and looked at them consideringly. “I should totally have a brainstorm sesh with Kamala. Catch you guys later!”

“She is pleased to see you are happy, Gamora,” Mantis said thoughtfully, closing her book. “I think that Janet was hoping you would eventually date Peter.”

Peter raised an eyebrow at this, sitting up a little straighter to look at Gamora, but she purposely ducked her head to adjust one of her guitar strings. Deciding to let it go, he turned towards Yondu and quickly changed the subject to a story about when he and Yondu decided to be young and stupid (read: something they had done about two months before joining the Academy) on some random planet they weren’t allowed to go back to. Drax laughed uproariously at the appropriate (and inappropriate) moments while Rocket groaned and attempted to cover Groot’s ears. “Oh come on, Quill, not in front of the kid, his language is bad enough…”

Gamora smiled privately to herself, and, feeling generous, gently patted Peter on the thigh, hoping it would convey her gratefulness for his choice to not dig further into Mantis’s comment.

______

“He-llo, viewers, and welcome back to another episode of The Latest Buzz!” Janet grinned widely into the camera, her smile practically reflecting light back into the lens. “Oh - no, Mr. Jameson, I swear this is super important for The Daily Bugle - no wait -”

A cut. “A-a-a-and I’m back, sorry about that everyone. Mr. Jameson gets really grumpy when I’m not trying to run stories on Spider-Man or any of the other, quote-unquote, ‘spider menaces’ running around campus. Anyways, in case you haven’t heard, we are publishing a yearbook this year so that you - the lovely public - can get to know our amazing students and see what we’re all about. It will feature photos, quotes, funny moments, and, of course, the best part of any yearbook - superlatives!”

“Now, I’m not supposed to share, but I’ll give you crazy amazing people some exclusives.” Janet tapped her mouth with her pointer finger. “But don’t tell anyone, okay? So far, the top contender for Best Hair is Thor - Odinson, that is, not Jane Foster, though her hair is pretty sweet, too - the competition for Biggest Brain is currently down to Hulk, Iron Man, and Black Panther, and, if you can believe it, the most-nominated pair for Cutest Couple is Peter Quill and Gamora!” Janet sighed dreamily. “I think they’re my new favourite ship, I’m not gonna lie. If you check out our Snapchat account - QR code up here - you can see them being totally adorable this afternoon while we were all hanging out together. They seemed like an underdog at first, because we literally just found out they were dating like, two days ago, but who knows? Maybe they’ll sweep this whole competition and boom!”

______

Gamora stared at the holo-screen in horror, nearly dropping her spoon into her bowl of stew. “Did she just tell the whole world that we’re dating?”

“She did Snapchat it,” Peter reminded her, shuffling past her on the couch to settle down on the oversized armchair.

“I thought she only sent that around to other students,” Gamora groaned. “What if Thanos sees?”

“You worried Daddy doesn’t like your new boyfriend?” Rocket teased. Gamora didn’t have time to tell him to shut up when Nebula decided to whack him in the gut with the currently-detached hand she was fixing. “O-ho, wouldn’t do that if I was you!”

“It’s not disapproval I’m worried about, it’s revenge,” Gamora exclaimed, nearly flinging her food everywhere in agitation. “It is bad enough he knows of this school, if he thinks that I have become romantically attached to someone, he will go after them first. He will torture Quill and tear him apart, slowly, painfully, and make me watch.”

“I’ve dealt with some pretty overprotective dads before, but that sounds like a worst-case scenario kind of thing,” Peter said, kicking up his feet on the coffee table. “Relax, Gamora. We’ll deal with it together, like we always do.” He began shoveling his food into his mouth with abandon. “I mean,” he continued, spraying chunks everywhere, “Thanos has been threatening to rain hell on the school for ages. It’s gonna take him like, six years to actually do anything, as far as I can tell.”

“You are too relaxed about this,” Gamora said, standing up. “It’s your life on the line.” Exhaling slowly, resisting the urge to yank out one of her blades, she stalked off to her room.

An awkward silence fell over the common space. “Should I go and talk to her?” Mantis finally said, worrying the hem of her skirt between her fingers.

Peter shook his head. “No, we should just leave her be for now. I’ll go talk to her later. She’s only mad at me.” Mantis moved closer to Peter, sitting on the armrest of his chair, and draped an arm around his shoulders, patting him slowly.

“As she is on any day that ends in ‘y’,” Rocket snorted.

“I agree with the fox,” Nebula said. “My sister finds you particularly annoying.”

“Yeah, well, what else is new,” Peter said resignedly.

______

A couple hours after dinner, Gamora was lost in her argumentative essay on superhero ethics. She and the Guardians had not participated in the Academy’s infamous civil war of last year, but she still maintained it was a rather pointless thing to fight about.

Knock. Knock. “Gamora? It's Peter. Can I come in?”

She sighed. “Yes.”

Peter walked in slowly, clearly freshly showered. His hair was damp and slightly sticking to his forehead, and there was a wet spot on his T-shirt where he hadn't dried himself off enough. She also spotted a slight knick in his neck where he had cut himself shaving. Internally shaking herself, she nodded to indicate she was ready to talk.

“I didn't mean to brush you off earlier,” Peter said. “I just think that there's no point in worrying right now. But if I was worrying, I’d be way more worried about you than me if Thanos comes knocking. I mean, let's face it, I'll be dead in two seconds flat. But he knows how to hurt you. And that's way worse.”

“How is that worse?” Gamora looked down at her book, not seeing the words printed before her. “Maybe I deserve it.”

“Oh, no, Gamora, no way.” Peter immediately moved to sit across from her, their legs brushing once again. “You can't think like that, okay? You're super amazing, and a badass hero. Thanos did some really shady stuff to you and Nebula, and you came out of it wanting to help people.”

She smiled despite herself. “You don't have to be so kind, Quill. I'm not actually your girlfriend.”

“No, but you're kind of my best friend,” Peter confessed rather shyly. “Well, unless Yondu helps me get a pretty big score. Then he's my best friend for like, a few days. But usually it's you.”

“Oh.” Gamora didn't know what to say. “I don't know how to be a best friend.”

“You don't have to know how to be one, you just are one. Here.” Peter pressed a small object into her hands. “I found this in that haul Rocket got from his trip to Halfworld. It's some modified Terran weapon.”

Gamora turned it over in her hands, feeling the grooves of the small metal item. It appeared to be a simple pocket knife, until her finger grazed one of the buttons and a series of small weapons popped out from the side, including a lock pick and a laser.

“I don't know how effective it actually is,” Peter admitted, “but I have no use for it. I'm more of a guns guy. So, um, happy one-week-fake-relationship anniversary?”

“Oh,” Gamora said again. “I don't have anything for you.”

He chuckled. “It's not really for that. I just thought you might want it. Anyways, I’ve said my piece. Are you still, uh, mad at me?”

She smiled softly, running her finger along the blade. It was dull, but with a little work, it could prove useful. “I am always a little bit mad at you. But no. Not anymore.” Then she sighed, releasing a breath she didn't know she was holding in. “Pitiful, isn't it? It’s the first Friday night since we got here that I haven't been able to play a show at Club Galaxy. Instead, we’re stuck here. No missions, either.”

“We could always ‘borrow’ a Quinjet,” Peter suggested impishly. “We’ll get you those new amps, Gamora. But in the meantime, maybe talk to Vision, see if he'll take the night off from DJing and let you do a set at Club A.”

“I suppose if I borrow one of the Winter Soldier’s guitars, it could work,” she said thoughtfully. “You’ve been having a decent amount of good ideas lately.”

Peter puffed his chest out exaggeratedly. “Damn straight.” He tilted his head, considering Gamora carefully. Her hair was plaited with some of Groot’s flowers woven in, the stark white of the petals contrasting the dark reddish-purple tones of her hair. She looked quite soft, and Peter almost wanted to reach out and touch it if not for the fear of losing his arm from the elbow down. “So, you still think this fake relationship thing is a good idea?”

“It was technically Rocket’s idea, not yours,” she teased. “I am worried about the repercussions, but I suppose in the end, it's no different than taking on galaxy-wide missions. Thanos will be a threat regardless. At least this way, we will earn money with little effort.”

“That's more like it,” Peter declared, standing up. “You planning on going back to the dorms? I can walk you back.” Gamora raised an eyebrow. “Okay, more like I'll walk back with you.”

“I'm too sleepy to bother,” she admitted. “My bed here, although awful, is sometimes more comforting than the one in my dorm.” She watched as Peter walked to the door, and worried at her bottom lip. “What was that movie? The one with the rats and the poison and the sword fighting?”

“Of course that's how you remember The Princess Bride,” Peter laughed, shaking his head as he turned back around to face her. “You liked that one?”

“Yes.” Gamora nodded, setting the small weapon aside and shutting her book. “I wouldn't mind watching it again.”

He tilted his head again as he assessed her, curious about what she was up to. Was Gamora volunteering to spend time with him that had nothing to do with school or Guardians business? “I'll go grab the tape,” Peter said, fondness seeping into his voice. It made Gamora feel oddly warm. After he disappeared, she laid back onto her bed and stared up at the ceiling, where Peter had put glow-in-the-dark puffy stickers in the shapes of constellations (“I have too many,” he had said, “unless I wanna wallpaper the place with ‘em.”). They were quite inaccurately placed, as she later learned when consulting the Terran night sky in one of Odin’s lectures, but she remembered the nervous smile on Peter’s face as he stepped back to turn off the light and admire his handiwork (“Well? What do you think?”).

“You are a strange one, Peter Quill,” Gamora murmured to herself, folding her hands over her chest.

______

The next morning delved into complete and utter chaos. Although Gamora had been hoping for a relatively calm Saturday for finishing her homework and getting a training session in at the Combat Simulator, she was instead unceremoniously woken up by the sound of Rocket racing through the Milano, his claws clicking frantically on the metal floor plates, yelling about how the Sovereign had come back.

“Where's Adam?” Peter exclaimed as he burst out of his room, hastily yanking a shirt on. “If his damn sister is involved - ”

“Of course it's his sister, who else in the Sovereign would care enough to attack us again?!” The sounds of crashing and metal items tumbling everywhere echoed through the ship. “Dammit, we’re gonna have to haul the weapons to one of the Quinjets.”

“I’ll contact Stark.” Gamora raced up the ladder to the cockpit, ignoring Rocket’s protests, to settle down into her chair and pull up Tony’s contact. “Stark, it’s Gamora. The Sovereign are about to attack the school again. We need to find Warlock and get him over here to us, and we need to borrow a Quinjet since the Milano is down.”

“Understood, I've already sent him a message and he should be on his way,” Tony said, his voice crackling sharply over the malfunctioning comms system. “I'll get Pepper to send over the Quinjet access codes, and a couple bots to get you guys some more of those intergalactic weapons I built from last time.”

Gamora let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Stark.”

“Let's get it done,” Tony said confidently. “Hey, so what's this I’m hearing about you and Peter? I was under the impression he was a ladies’ man like me. Not to knock you, of course, if I had the chance to date a girl like you I would take it, but - ”

“And you've ruined it,” Gamora said dryly, rolling her eyes. “Goodbye, Stark.”

______

Fifteen minutes later, the Guardians were wheels up on one of the Quinjets, with Adam not too far behind. As always, Rocket and Peter were at the controls with Gamora assisting with navigation. Mantis was attempting to comfort Groot, who was cranky from being woken up and scared at the prospect of another attack, and Drax was attempting to organize the frankly ridiculous amount of weapons that Rocket had brought and Tony had provided. The Sovereign were descending from above as they always did by the hundreds, with completely empty, remote-piloted craft, identical haughty expressions of arrogance on every screen.

“I thought she was gonna leave us alone,” Adam said over the comms. “I'll talk to her, I promise.”

“How does she even have lackeys left? I thought she pissed off all the other priestesses with her attitude,” Peter said, dodging an incoming blast. Rocket let out a manic laugh as he shot down the Sovereign craft that had been responsible for it.

“She really wants the Infinity Gauntlet,” Adam sighed, his exhale causing the speakers to emit sudden, sharp feedback. Gamora winced and moved to adjust the volume dials. “Hey, Gamora, by the way, if you have some free time after this, I heard you were having trouble with the equipment at Club Galaxy. Do you want some help? I am, after all, a cosmic rock god.”

“That’s debatable,” Peter muttered under his breath, reaching to check the Quinjet’s thruster levels. There was no guarantee they could climb as high as they usually would with the Milano, but damn if he wasn’t going to try.

“I suppose you could take a look, but they’re basically dead,” Gamora said. She paused to cling at her armrests as the ship was rattled by another near-miss of a shot. “Thank you, though. I was going to see if the Winter Soldier had an acoustic guitar I could borrow for the time being, and play a show at Club A while I wait for some money.”

Adam snorted. “No offense to Bucky, but the acoustic guitar? That’s not your thing, Gamora. You freaking melt faces when you shred on your guitar, sometimes literally. Let me take a look at your equipment. Tonight at 8?”

“Are we really having this conversation right now?” Rocket hollered. “We got some Sovereign douchebags making a go for the dorms!” He proceeded to gun down another five craft with a strong cry of victory.

“I’ll see you then,” Gamora said quickly before cutting the communication line. She looked up to see that Peter had tried his best to maneuver the Quinjet perpendicular to the ground, with little success. It simply wasn’t built for the same purpose as the Milano, as powerful as it may be. “Quill, this isn’t going to work.”

“It’s gonna work,” Peter insisted. “As long as I keep flying and Rocket keeps shootin’, we’ll - SON OF A - !”

Gamora could only watch in horror as the glass in front of Peter’s face was struck by about five energy blasts at once, piercing a hole clean through and sending a spray of shards everywhere. It was only Peter’s and Rocket’s self-preservation instincts to duck and screw their eyes shut that prevented them from being horribly injured, though she could see bits embedding themselves in Peter’s skin and Rocket’s fur.

She shot out of her seat and ran for the front, hollering back to Drax to take her position, grabbing the controls from Peter as the Quinjet tumbled hopelessly, rolling and causing Rocket to be flung out of his seat and slammed into the wall beside him, knocking him out. Drax was trying desperately to get in contact with the Director, Pepper, Maria, anyone, and Mantis was frantically shushing Groot, who had started to cry.

Peter managed to scramble himself back up properly, though he appeared to be bleeding from several little cuts along his forehead and hands. Gamora had no time to ask him he if he was okay, though, pushing the controls back into his hands and running over to scoop up Rocket and set him down on one of the passenger benches, strapping him in so he wouldn’t roll around.

“We’re gonna crash-land, Gamora,” Peter called to her, and his voice was much weaker than she wanted to hear. There was a raspiness that made her eyes wander to his throat, causing her heart to leap once more - tiny bits of glass, embedded in his neck.

“Shh, don’t talk, Quill,” she said desperately as she ran back to fling herself into Rocket’s seat. “Just get us back on the ground, and we’ll let the others take it from here, okay?”

Energy blasts continued to rattle the Quinjet around, rolling til they were nearly flipped upside down, causing Drax to let out an alarmed shout from behind as he clung onto his armrests for dear life. He managed to mash the buttons to get him back to the comm line. “HELLO? IS ANYONE THERE? WE ARE ABOUT TO DIE!”

“Not on my watch,” Peter rasped, leaning forward to put some weight on his elbows, forcing strength back into his arms long enough to direct the Quinjet downwards onto one of the open fields of the Academy’s campus. “Strap...in.”

“Warlock is back on the ground,” a voice finally said, filled with static. It vaguely sounded like Maria Hill. “Agent 13 is leading a fleet of SHIELD agents up to the battle, and they’re loaded with enough atmospheric smoke bombs to drive the Sovereign away. Get yourself on land, now, Guardians.”

“Wha’d’ya think we’re tryin’ to do,” Peter wheezed, glancing over to watch Gamora shooting down about six more Sovereign craft. “G’mora…’m angling us downwards now...try not to blast anything.”

“What? No, we have to - ”

She was cut off by her own anguished yell as a rather large piece of glass tore through her thigh, pinning her to the seat. An immediate agonizing heat flared up in her leg and made its way up her torso, causing her stomach to roll, threatening to empty its contents everywhere. Screwing her eyes shut, she let go of the controls and turned herself away from the dashboard as much as she could. For an agonizing two minutes, all she could hear was Peter’s laboured breathing, Groot’s frantic cries, and the constant, crushing sounds of the Quinjet being torn apart, whizzing past her ears dizzyingly, endlessly.

The last thing she remembered was choking on her own breath as smoke filled the Quinjet’s cabin before she blacked out.

a/n: whoops there goes another destroyed ship and it’s only been three chapters, guardians wyd

also i admittedly know very little about adam, so 100% of his characterization is from the game, where he’s a rockstar who wants to help the guardians defeat his sister, and that’s basically it.

#marvel #starmora #peter x gamora #gotg #avengers academy #myfic #myfic: 20q #in other news ao3 google docs and ms word are all giving me different word counts #what is the truth *shakes fist*#the word count is now just a ballpark figure and not really gospel tbh

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kuriquinn · 8 years ago

Text

Samsara [Part I]

General Disclaimer

As a medic, Sakura is probably more prepared for the various symptoms of pregnancy than the average woman. She’s studied the theory, administered pre- and postnatal care, and has delivered more than a few babies; at first it was only under the watchful eye of her mentor, but since she and Sasuke have been travelling to more remote villages, it’s an occupational hazard.

So, her own first trimester is about what she expects – it’s actually easier.

Morning sickness isn’t as bad as she worried it would be – in fact, it’s not so much morning sickness as random-moments-in-the-day sickness. Even then, it’s more gentle queasiness than anything else. There are only two mornings she spends with her face buried in a nearby bush, while Sasuke holds back her hair.

There are a few of her favorite foods that she can’t even think about without feeling nauseous. Still others cause her bizarre, desperate cravings she’s never experienced before (tomatoes! She can’t get enough tomatoes!). She also has to pee a lot more often which Sasuke is equal parts amused and irritated by depending on how much it delays their travel plans. And, good gods, she thought she was done getting pimples!

But what she wasn’t expecting were the dreams.

From her studies and conversations with other expectant mothers, she anticipated the nonsensical, the silly, or even the highly sexual. What she ends up experiencing within days of confirming her condition is bleak, eerie, and a little depressing.

In the beginning, her dreams have a reoccurring theme. Whenever she closes her eyes, she finds herself walking along a beach. The tide is always out, leaving a vast, barren expanse of sand with shallow pools of water. The sky is always grey and foreboding, bracketed by cliffs in the distance. The detail in this place is staggering, despite the fact she’s never spent much time on this seashore. Or any seashore, really.

Konoha is landlocked, and even her experiences during the war didn’t give her much time to enjoy the coastline. Travelling with Sasuke, they’ve occasionally been to places like Kumo where beaches are more common, but never with express recreational purpose.

Despite this, the barren shore of her dreams feels as familiar and beloved to her as the forests and valleys of the Leaf Village. For whatever reason, she experiences a sense of utter safety during her dreamlike wanderings, which leaves her disconcerted and confused upon waking.

The pattern continues over several nights without change, until their return journey from Tsuki. That night, they have no choice but to bed down in a forest cave to avoid an incoming storm.

Since she told Sasuke of her pregnancy, he isn’t as keen on sleeping outside. Sakura’s assured him that, at this point, it really doesn’t matter where they stop to rest, but he’s been adamant. It’s only when there’s absolutely no other option that they sleep outside.

(She’s trying not to find his overprotectiveness endearing, but she’d be lying if she didn’t say she’s been waiting her entire life for this.)

Despite the security of their defensive wards, Sasuke insists on taking the first watch – which they both know means he doesn’t actually intend to close his eyes that night – and Sakura is too tired to argue. She expects this to lead to utterly dreamless sleep, and yet with almost no transition, she is back on the dream beach.

Only there is something different this time.

眠り

A dark form appears on the sand dunes of the horizon. She can’t make out exactly what the shape is, but as she gets closer, she realises it’s a human being.

“Hey!” she calls. “Are you all right?”

She begins to run, struggling through the unstable, damp sand, automatically reaching for her medical kit – only to discover it’s not there. She doesn’t let this deter her, however, and after what seems like forever, she skids to a stop in front of the person.

It’s a man, she realises, based on the dimensions of the body, and he’s badly injured.

He is face-down and, judging from the lack of movement, not breathing. When she reaches out to touch clammy, swollen skin and checks his pulse, she doesn’t find it. The parts of his epidermis not covered by a waterlogged white robe are a mass of second- and third-degree burns, crisscrossing themselves like red, snaking roots of a tree. She’s seen this before in electrocution victims except, from what she can perceive, there are no exit or entrance wounds on his body. It’s as if lightning just passed across the surface of his skin.

Or…or channelled through his chakra points.

She reaches out to feel for the pulse in his neck, but finds, instead that her hand instead gently slap the man’s cheeks, trying to wake him. A pit forms in her stomach at this, and she intends to channel her own chakra into the poor man, hoping to boost his heart and lungs back to working order.

But that doesn’t happen.

Her hands keep probing the man for signs of life, and when she concentrates, reaching inward she can’t feel any of her chakra. As a last resort she thinks to revert to novice healing, tries to fit her fingers together into the Ox seal, but they don’t cooperate.

What the…

She considers her hands in confusion, and belatedly realises that they don’t look like hers. These are paler and more delicate, with none of her scars from training.

And, most importantly, no telltale glow of healing energy.

No!

The horror at being stripped of the ability to save this man hits her like a punch to the gut, but rather than dwell on it, she shoves it out of her mind. She might still have a chance to save him, even if she can’t do it the faster way!

Her body seems to be cooperating with this, at least, but it’s almost as though struggling through quicksand. Her limbs are heavy and everything feels like it’s happening on a delay.

Firmly but gently, she turns him around, intending to start compressions to his heart –

Only to recoil in shock.

Beneath the swollen, vein-scarred skin is Sasuke.

夢

Sakura wakes suddenly, her entire body jerking into consciousness. Sweat drips from her forehead, and she feels as if she’s been running.

“Sakura?”

Her husband is a featureless shadow in the dark.

“You were on a beach,” she whispers without preamble, her voice shaking. “You were unconscious, and I couldn’t…I wanted to heal you, but I couldn’t do it. And then I turned you around and I think you were dead, but there was no…I couldn’t…”

“It was a dream,” Sasuke assures her. When her body remains stiff and agitated, he reaches out and cups her face in his hand, brushing his thumb across her cheekbone.

Sakura sighs, leaning into his touch, and the rigidity of her spine eases somewhat. “I know it was. It was just…very real.”

“Your senses are heightened right now,” he informs her quietly. “Your mind is likely drawing much more on sense-memory.”

“I know that,” she protests, smirking slightly at the fact Sasuke is quoting information he’s read from a pregnancy book she picked up in the last village. She never saw him read it, but she remembers that exact sentence.

Not interested in baby books my ass, you big goofball!

“And you also know that I’m fine,” Sasuke continues. From the frown she hears in his voice, she suspects he’s noticed her smirk. “As are you.”

“Other than being married to a know-it-all, I’m wonderful,” she mumbles, curling up in front of him.

“Hm.”

She feels his fingers in her hair, moving back and forth in a comforting rhythm. Sleep creeps up on her, ushered in by the calming sensation of fingertips brushing against her skull –

Sakura jerks back to full consciousness.

“Wait!”

He freezes. “What?”

“I have to pee,” she announces, navigating away from him.

“Of course you do,” he sighs, letting go of her.

When she finally gets back, Sasuke has fallen asleep. She suspects he just meant to close his eyes for a second, but then he’s been going without sleep more often these days. She worries he intends to keep up the trend until they are safely back in Konoha – which could be months from now.

For this reason alone, she chooses not to wake him.

The wards will be enough.

She reclaims her spot beside him, burrowing in close and shifting so that her back is fitted against his chest. In his sleep, he drapes his arm across her waist, holding her close, and Sakura smiles into the darkness. He used to hold her like that when they were kids, too…though back then, he would rather swallow kunai than admit to it.

Sometimes on away-missions, their genin squad would have to sleep outside. Kakashi would take first watch – like Sasuke does now, having no intention of waking any of them to take the second – and the three of them would end up huddled together like puppies. They were usually so exhausted that no one had the energy to complain about sleeping arrangements. Sakura would end up sandwiched between the two boys to minimize any bloodshed – Naruto muttering in his sleep on one side, and Sasuke curled protectively into himself on the other.

But sometimes, very rarely, he would end up lying against her, arm slung over her hips, breathing against the back of her neck.

She never slept well those nights, too shocked and pleased to do anything but marvel at being so close to him. He’d wake before everyone else, and she’d feel him recoil as if burned, and then his warmth would be gone.

Sakura never mentioned it in waking hours because she expected him to be embarrassed. He never said anything either, even though he would’ve known she was awake. Kakashi looked knowing beneath his mask, but acted like he hadn’t noticed any of it at all.

Now, though, she has no trouble falling back to sleep within Sasuke’s embrace, and thankfully, there are no more dreams that night. When the first rays of morning sunshine peek into their shelter, instead of pretending he hasn’t spent the night wrapped around her, Sasuke hides his face in her shoulder and determinedly ignores her attempts to coax him awake…until she cheats a little, ducking under their covers and using lips and tongue in her most convincing argument. The sound of his strangled cries and panted curses echoing off the damp walls of the cave are completely worth the attempt at a reproachful look he gives her afterward.

“We’re not supposed to be drawing attention to ourselves,” he reminds her.

“Then you should learn to be quieter,” she retorts, wiping her mouth. When he growls and snatches at her, trying to pull her down beneath him, she dances out of his way and singsongs, “Come on! We’re going to be late.”

The rest of the morning progresses in the usual fashion with them trekking through the forest to their next destination. It’s quiet, which is the norm – she and Sasuke don’t always talk while they travel, existing in a silence that’s more a perfect dynamic of companionship than a need to avoid possible threats. It’s a time for reflection, or just being together.

Although today, her usually peaceful thoughts are clouded by analysing her dream. It’s bothering her, hanging on where most dreams would retreat to her subconscious immediately. She supposes it’s because she was reminded of her helplessness, a state she’s actively avoided since she was a teenager.

If Sasuke notices her preoccupation, he says nothing. Until she volunteers the information, he won’t pry. So, she decides not to say anything because it sounds ridiculous in her head, let alone out loud.

They just make it to the overnight ferry which, it turns out, is not helpful to her queasy stomach. She spends most of the voyage heaving over the side of the boat, or curled in a foetal position in their cabin. Only as they’re nearing their destination does her exhaustion finally allow her to give in to sleep.

眠り

She finds herself back on the beach, kneeling in front of an unconscious Sasuke.

Only it’s not Sasuke, she realises in relief. His features are more delicate, and his hair is lighter – despite being so thoroughly soaked – and much longer.

Her healer’s instincts have already prompted her hands to check for signs of life. He isn’t breathing and she can’t detect a heartbeat. Judging from the burns and bruises, she’d say he’s suffered both electrocution and massive trauma, as if thousands of fists careened into him.

For a split second, she goes to heal him before remembering that here – wherever here is – she has no such ability. Swearing, she rearranges his body so that he is supine on his back, and prepares to restart his heart manually.

At least…she thinks she’s the one who decides to do that. The body she inhabits in this dream world seems to have a mind of its own.

Pressing the heel of her hand on the centre of his chest, she begins to count out loud, watching his chest with each compression. After a minute or so, she leans down to check his airway, tilting his head back and lifting his chin.

There is still no indication of breathing, and she pinches his nose closed, covering his mouth with hers and breathing in to him. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees his chest rise and feels her hopes rise with it.

That’s good, at least, no punctures or obstructions.

But when she pulls away, he doesn’t continue on his own.

Swearing, she restarts the compressions.

“Don’t…you…die…” she orders him with each downward press.

You’re…not…him…but…I…won’t…let… you! Sha…na…ro!

The cycle of compressions and breaths continues almost without end. It goes far past the point where she would’ve stopped for anyone else, but she can’t take the chance. If this person is anything like Sasuke, he will live. He has to live.

Again the overwhelming sense of slogging through quicksand is back, this dream body of hers already pulling away in defeat, but she wills her borrowed hands back into place, growling and cursing as she fights her way forward again, forcing herself against the barrier of her dream and his chest.

As she pulls away from his lips once more, preparing to push down on his chest, the stranger’s body seizes and his mouth opens in a gasp.

“Oh, thank goodness!” she cries, sitting back on her thighs to give him room. “You’re all right. Just lie still, and try to breathe, okay? You had me scared for a –”

Sakura’s words die in her throat when the man’s eyes shoot open, and the coldest, red irises she has ever seen meet hers. She’s hit by a wave of terrifying certainty about two things just then –she knows these eyes better than any other and, if he wanted to, this man could stop her heart with just a look.

夢

She jolts awake with a cry of surprise.

“What? What’s wrong?!”

Sasuke is kneeling beside her, his hand on her arm, staring at her with an expression of thunderous concern.

“It was you,” she gasps, thoughts colliding too quickly in her brain to make sense. Her words come out jumbled. “It was you, but it wasn’t you, but it was your eyes. And you were unconscious, but I saved you, I think, but it was…it was like that day, and I though you…I thought he was going to…”

“Slow down,” Sasuke instructs her. “Start from the beginning.”

She takes a deep, shuddering breath, coaching herself to remain calm while she carefully relays everything. She tells him about the strange dreams she’s been having, how they were recurring at first, but now somehow seem…

“Continuous?” he supplies.

She nods because there’s no other way to put it. “I don’t know what this means.”

Sasuke frowns.

“I want you to tell me if this happens again,” he tells her finally.

“How would that help?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” he replies. “But I’d feel better knowing what you know.”

She knows her husband doesn’t like the idea of an obstacle or opponent that he can’t fight. Perhaps he thinks that the more information he can get from her dreams, the more likely he’ll be able to help her. She also knows that he is compulsive about these things, and will fixate over it until there is some kind of resolution – which there may not be.

She offers him a bright smile. “I’m sure it’s nothing. I’m getting ahead of myself. Making something out of nothing, the way I sometimes do. I’ll be fine.”

Sasuke frowns like he doesn’t completely believe her, but nods stiffly.

And it seems that she’s right, anyhow. The next few nights, her dreams are once again no more than fleeting impressions. She experiences imprints of faces, moments in time, but no startling interactions with the man whose Sharingan is an exact copy of her husband’s.

It seems her subconscious has backed off a little, and she’s set to shrug it off as strange pregnancy related dreams after all.

But then it starts again.

眠り

The man with Sasuke’s face – But different. It’s different! – is unable to move or speak. His horrible eyes fade into a dull black almost at the exact moment she is conscious of being back in her dream, suggesting he is far too weakened to do anything. Still, he watches her distrustfully, as if expecting her to reach out and smother him or something.

“I am here to help you,” she tells him quietly, hating the warble in her voice – and the fact her voice is somehow softer than it should be. “There’s no need to worry. I’m here for you.”

If possible, he eyes her with more distrust.

If you think glaring at me is going to scare me off, you’ve got another thing coming. I’ve seen much worse.

Oddly enough, the picture that immediately comes to mind is not her husband’s chilling stare, but a stranger’s face twisted into a snarl. The man is utterly nondescript, but the ugly rage there makes her body shiver reflexively. But there’s no time to contemplate who it is or what it means with a patient to help.

Her eyes rove over his body, taking in the strange – but familiar! – high-collared white robe, checking symptoms, and making a diagnosis in her head.

Chakra depletion and acute over-exhaustion. Whatever happened to him, he completely weakened himself to the point of handicap.

Either he has had the chakra drained from him, or actually managed to use it all up. It’s something she has never heard of – chakra is so tied to a person’s life-force that even when severely weakened they can’t really use all of it.

It looks like her mystery patient has come pretty damn close.

Sakura has no idea how she’s supposed to help him without her healing abilities, and with hands that don’t necessarily do as she wants. She seems to have the power to influence rudimentary life-saving measures – skills anyone might have – but not her own hard-won knowledge. Glancing around the beach, she doesn’t see anything that could be used as an elixir or healing balm. She’s going to have to venture beyond the shoreline, to see if there’s a forest or field nearby.

A tiny, nagging thought at the back of her mind tells her to run away. Without her abilities, she would not be able to stand against him if her assessment of his condition is wrong. Whoever this man is, he’s dangerous.

But he is also important, she knows that deep in her gut, and she has to concentrate on fighting back that impulse to run away.

That doesn’t matter. I’m a medic, I have to help my patient…somehow.

Doing so on the shore is going to be difficult. She briefly entertains the idea of carrying him to somewhere safer, but as she quickly discovers, she doesn’t have the strength to do so. The man is tall and, under normal circumstances, probably heavy – as waterlogged deadweight, he’s even worse.

Besides, carrying him anywhere might attract attention, and that could be dangerous for both of them. Wherever they are now, this place is foreign to her – possibly to him as well. She needs to think of something, and soon.

Something at the back of her mind tells her it would be very bad indeed if either of them were found here.

夢

Sakura awakens the next morning, frowning at the ceiling of their temporary quarters, mind running through the calculations needed for a woman of average strength to move an injured man the size and weight of her husband.

And possibly to look into lucid dreaming techniques because the idea of being a paralysed watcher in her own mind is getting annoying.

Once she figures out the first problem, she lingers quietly, puzzling out where she’s seen the man’s garments before. She and Sasuke have travelled so widely and in such a short time that they’ve seen any number of strange clothing styles. Perhaps her memories supplied it?

She’s on the verge of an answer when she notices a hand snaking under the waistband of her pants.

“Oh, you think you’re being sneaky, do you?” she challenges playfully, and then giggles when long fingers ease between her legs.

All thoughts of her subconscious patient disappear as she finds something much nicer to focus on.

眠り

More dreams follow, night after night, but by now, she expects them.

Sometimes, she’s not by her mystery patient’s side, instead crawling through a wooded area on hands and knees, gathering herbs and berries in her apron. Sometimes, she’s at a river, filling water skins and trying – unsuccessfully – to catch fish with nothing but her hands.

Other times, she’s with him, leaning devotedly beside him, pressing freshwater between his lips and crushing food into manageable portions. He accepts her help, all the while glaring at her resentfully. Often, when she does something he doesn’t like, he makes a noise like a growl low in his throat.

He is still unable to speak, so she can’t ask for his name.

During waking hours, Sakura finds herself researching procedures, poring through the few medical scrolls she’s brought with her, or asking local healers about their traditional remedies. It takes every inch of her concentration in her dreams to affect even the slightest change, such as picking a certain herb or grinding roots into powder.

Sasuke remains ignorant of her nightly vigil and, although she isn’t exactly keeping things from him, she’s glad for it. He would worry needlessly, and though he hides it well, he’s already anxious. So when he asks her about her dreams, she tells him nothing new has happened.

It’s not really a lie, it’s just…not completely true.

But she doesn’t think he’d take kindly to her worrying so much about a figment of her imagination, especially as the sour-faced man in her beach dreamscape has started to grow on her.

“I hope you’re not attached to your hair,” she tells her invalid one day – night? – as she finally disparages of the snarled, wet hanks splayed beside him. “It’s beginning to attract bugs. You don’t want that – I know from experience how hard it is to get rid of them once you have them.”

Wait, what?

She is startled. She has never had head lice – her mother saw to that – and yet, despite her rambling, the utter authority in her voice is undoubtable. It’s as if the words were supplied from somewhere else.

Her patient’s eyes narrow slightly, but she takes his lack of growls as permission and carefully hacks off the hair at shoulder length.

“There. It doesn’t look so bad, I don’t think – of course, I have had some practise. I have to see to my own often enough.”

She’s referring to her fastidious tendency to keep her hair cut while they travel, but that’s not the image that comes to mind. Instead, she has visions of a cool, dark room, trembling fingers and a mirror balanced in front of her while she tries to even out the layers.

There’s something indistinct and odd about the face in that mirror, however.

This happens sometimes. Images and ideas coming to her as she works on him. She can never make sense of them and passes them off as quirks of her psyche.

Or going batty from the stillness.

Her patient’s constant quiet reminds her starkly of how Sasuke was when they were children. While she’s now close enough to her husband that she finds their silences companionable, this person before her is a different story. The prolonged hush is driving her crazy, and she finds herself falling back on her childhood habit of rambling.

Not just rambling, actually. The things that come out of her mouth make her head spin. They are the utterly confusing, nonsensical words that characterise dreams – things that make perfect sense to her now, but which she knows will mean nothing to her upon waking.

“I suppose you must think I don’t have a much else to do but be here,” she tells the man once, adjusting the small brush fire she’s started beside them. The wood she chose doesn’t give off much smoke, but the heat is comforting – and it keeps his body heat constant. “I guess you would be right. Where I’m from, my existence is not much more than an afterthought. My father – well, he’s important. He rules over this land. But my mother, she was a lesser wife who told everyone I was going to be a boy –”

She frowns at this, because that’s not right at all, and yet the story falls from her tongue with the utter conviction of truth.

“ – When I wasn’t, my father wasn’t happy. He had her put to death, and it’s only because the priests said he’d be cursed if he spilled his own blood that I wasn’t, too.”

The story makes her stomach clench, her first-hand anger mingling with second-hand sadness.

“Everyone says I look just like my mother, and that’s why my father doesn’t care for me very much,” she goes on matter-of-factly. “My older sister, though, he loves her. I…I would love her, too, I think, if she’d let me.” She ducks her head, feeling embarrassed about admitting this. It feels like she’s never said this out loud before. “But she’s so busy, she doesn’t have time. Father has sent for so many tutors and instructors for her that she’s never around. See, she’s the one who’s going to make an advantageous marriage one day and make our country strong again. So, she has to be accomplished. She says it’s a waste of time because she’s so beautiful, and I think she’s right. Men take one look at her and fall in love right away.”

She sighs wistfully and the tiniest bit of jealousy seeps into her words.

“She has everything. I wish…I wish I could just have…” She trails off and shakes her head. “Never mind. It’s not important. And all of this must be boring you, right?”

She smiles gently at her patient and is surprised to find that he’s been listening to her the whole time with an intent expression. In fact, unless she’s much mistaken, there’s something else buried in the lines of his face.

It takes her a moment to realise that it’s empathy.

夢

“Have you ever dreamed about being another person?” Sakura asks, glancing up from the trashy romance novel she’s already read three times. It’s utterly failed in its job of keeping her mind off her dreams, especially given this latest development where she’s apparently made up an entire other life for herself. She decides to give up on the book.

They’re enjoying a rare moment of downtime, a day not spent travelling or scouring villages for information about local disturbances. Across the clearing, Sasuke is carefully oiling and cleaning his katana, mouth set and brows drawn together in concentration.

“Sasuke?”

“Hm?”

“I asked if you’ve ever dreamed of being someone else? I mean, from the perspective of someone who wasn’t you,” she clarifies.

“No.”

“Oh.” She pauses. “Never?”

“Most of my dreams are memories. And I am always myself,” he responds absently.

“Oh.”

She spares a brief second to reflect on the sad truth in that – with a life like Sasuke’s, she doubts his subconscious has ever been a retreat from reality – and tries to go back to her book, but the text is blurring together. Her already vague interest is gone, so she puts it down.

“I’m bored. Can we go for a walk or something?”

“We walk every day.”

“I know that, but it’s usually to get from Point A to Point B. I meant, let’s just go for a stroll. Enjoy nature. Autumn’s so pretty, and we won’t get to enjoy ourselves so much once winter comes. And we won’t have a lot of time alone, just the two of us, come spring.”

“Hm. Fine. Let me finish this.”

“I was also thinking of maybe stopping in the capital after all. They’ve got a library there, and I want to look a few things up. I know you hate big towns, but it’ll only take a few days.”

“Mm-hm.”

Sakura frowns at him, trying to discern whether he’s seriously paying attention to her or not. When he continues to wipe invisible detritus from the blade of his sword, she knows none of what they’ve just discussed has penetrated the thoughtful funk he’s trapped himself in.

Time for a distraction then.

With quick movements, she stands and stretches. When he doesn’t seem to notice, she goes on to unbutton the clasps of her tunic, then her bra, and pulls them both over her head.

“I think my breasts have gotten bigger since I’ve been pregnant,” she says, pitching her voice a little louder than before. “What do you think?”

He doesn’t so much as glance up. “Maybe.”

“Excuse me if I don’t trust your assessment – you’re not even looking at me.”

Sasuke lets out an annoyed sigh, shoots her a brief glance, and goes back to work. “Yes, you’re bigger.”

Sakura raises an eyebrow at this, mentally counting down the seconds, and is rewarded when the rag in his hand suddenly drops and he slowly looks up again, utterly bemused.

There we go.

Still, she pretends not to notice and cranes around to examine her backside as well. “I think I’m bigger down here, too. We have a measuring tape in our kit somewhere, right? I’m going to find out, since there’s nothing else to do and you’re so busy.”

She turns away, reaching toward their bags.

There’s a clatter of metal and the rustle of a cloak, and then an arm seizes her around the waist from behind.

“You don’t have to resort to obvious tricks to get my attention,” he murmurs quietly in her ear, and she shivers at the feel of his breath on the skin beneath her ear.

“Apparently, I do,” she teases. “Besides, my tricks didn’t ever work when we were younger. I consider this back pay.”

“So you traffic in sexual favours now?”

“Who said anything about sexual favours?” she says innocently. “I’m just finding ways to occupy myself while you’re clearly uninterest –”

“You’ve always been a horrible liar,” he tells her, and proceeds to divest her of the rest of her clothing.

眠り

Her dreams return to the murky, fleeting glimpses in the next few nights, and for a long time, she barely interacts with her mysterious patient. Sometimes, she still dreams of scouring the woods for things to help him, but more and more often, she begins to see darker, more troubling things.

Sometimes, her slumber is assaulted by the downright upsetting.

On occasion, she’ll find herself cold, shivering convulsively in a drafty room. She is exhausted, but doesn’t sleep, eyes focussed on the moon as she waits for morning to come. Other times – and this is even more troubling – she feels the familiar impact of fists against her face, a man’s voice demanding where she wanders off to every day. She cowers, tears and blood streaming down her face, insisting she doesn’t go anywhere, and hoping the lie isn’t detectable.

These brief glimpses always leave Sakura annoyed upon waking, the sense of helplessness like an acrid taste at the back of her mouth. Since Sasuke refuses to spar with her since she’s become pregnant, she spends those mornings doggedly running through her taijutsu forms or crushing boulders to dust. These are her only outlets because, in her dreams, she is maddeningly placid.

The next time she finds herself back with her mysterious patient, she smiles through the bruises on her face even if it’s the last thing she wants to do. She’s angry and wants to find the bastard who did this, show them exactly what she’s capable of, but this dream body of hers doesn’t let her. Instead, she smiles, pretending like she isn’t in pain every time she moves.

The act isn’t convincing – this man is as observant as Sasuke – but Sakura doubts he’ll remark on it, given his reticence (real or enforced by his handicap).

Which is why she nearly has a heart attack when a dry, rasping voice breaks the usual silence.

“Where did you get those bruises?”

She actually physically jolts, looking around to see if someone’s watching them. It takes an absurdly long time to realise that her mystery patient was the one who spoke.

“Did you just…” she stares at him in awe.

He is glaring at her again, ostensibly furious; if she knows that look as well she does, she gets the sense he’s angrier at himself for speaking than over the state of her face.

“Are you able to talk?” she asks him, heart rising, hoping that now some questions can be answered. The question is tentative, though, afraid.

But he simply turns his head to one side. “Tch.”

Sakura can’t help but smile at that. She definitely knows this type of behaviour well. Her dream body seems to recognise it too, because she feels herself relax.

“I guess you used up all your strength to ask me that?” she muses lightly. “I appreciate that, but don’t worry about me when your wounds were much worse. I’m really clumsy, always walking into things. I fell down the stairs this morning.” She feels herself chuckling nervously, while she inwardly seethes at the lie. “There’s a reason no one wants to teach me the shamisen. I would most likely put someone’s eye out!”

But he exudes an aura of disinterest now and she sighs.

She should’ve asked for his name.

Their silent dynamic continues through montages that dance across her sleeping mind – of her gently rubbing healing ointments into his skin, bringing him clothing to replace his maddeningly familiar robes.

She continues to experience the puzzling, violence-fueled scenes as well.

Someone pulling her hair, a high, mocking laugh from a beautiful, ivory-skinned woman. Older sister, her mind supplies. Huddling on the floor, clutching her ribs as someone kicks her, displeased once more by something she’s done or failed to do. The non-descript, sharp-eyed face again. Father.

She screams at herself to stand up and defend herself, but her body never listens. By the time she manages to raise a hand up to block a blow, it is too late, and she feels her ribs break.

Time passes and more often, she finds herself lying in a barren room, people tending to her and speaking in low whispers. She gets the sense that she is recovering from something – injury, most likely – but that knowledge fails to overtake the fervent sense of restlessness she feels.

If she’s injured and bedridden, who is caring for her patient?

It feels like an eternity before she dreams of the beach again, and a stark relief hits her the day she finds herself wandering on that damp sandbar again…until she makes it to the spot on the shore where she’s been tending to her mystery invalid, only to find he is not there.

Shock and disbelief fill her, competing with guilt that her injury kept her from checking on him. What if some wild animal found its way here and dragged him off? What if someone found him here, thought he was a foreign spy, and took him away?

Or worse.

I have to find him!

She makes a catalogue of possible places he can be, turns around to head toward the forest where she often sought medicinal herbs, and freezes.

Black eyes glare down at her, a sinister, six-pointed, red star at their centre, paralysing in their intensity. Her jaw drops in shock, but before she can say anything, he grabs her by the throat.

“Nn-gh!”

She clutches feebly at his hand, nails scrabbling in desperation against his skin as he lifts her off the ground. Her feet dangle uselessly in the air and her lungs constrict in their need for air. Confusion and dismay fill her.

“W-w-why?” she chokes out, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“I am not weak,” he tells her coldly, his voice no longer a rasp, but still low enough to make her shiver. “I did not ask for your help, and I owe you nothing.”

She whimpers.

“Know that your death would mean very little to me,” he goes on, tightening his grasp on her. Those horrible eyes gleam, and she knows that she’s about to die.

Two emotions – utterly contradictory – war for supremacy.

The first – relief – does not belong to her, and Sakura knows it. She has finally realised that she is experienced someone else’s life. Someone who faces this imminent death with a sense of relief, because it will be a swifter end than the one her abusive family is slowly driving her towards.

The second – a raw, instinctual fear – is hers, even as it is reduced to afterthought and powerlessness by her dream consciousness. She knows she’s dreaming, she knows this isn’t real, but what if something happens. They say if you die in a dream, your body dies too, and she can’t let that happen!

The baby!

And so she fights.

She wills herself to struggle, ignores the mental and physical quagmire, the spots against her eyes and the burning in her lungs. She sinks her nails into the flesh of his hands, kicks her feet uselessly at him and glowers because how dare he?

Maybe some of her rage is visible, because something sparks in his gaze. His hand tightens again and she prepares for the end, knowing it’s coming despite her desperation to survive –

Only to suddenly find herself in a heap on the floor, her airway miraculously free again.

Shaking off the dizziness that comes from breathing again, she looks up to see that he is now walking away from her. It takes a little longer for her to understand that she has been spared. She doesn’t know if she is more relieved or disappointed.

“W-wait…” she whispers, her vocal chords aching from nearly being crushed. “Why…what…who are you?”

He pauses, but does not turn around, and she thinks he might kill her after all. But then…

“I am called Indra,” he tells her quietly, his voice barely audible over the din of distant waves.

A flash of blue lightning envelopes him, and he is gone.

夢

“Indra.”

Sasuke repeats the name slowly, sounding out the syllables as if the word is completely foreign to him. There is a deceptive calm in his voice, as if he is putting every shred of his considerable concentration into not reacting to Sakura’s tale.

“It’s…it’s not exactly a common name, is it?” she murmurs tentatively, hanging on to that tiny shred of hope that’s taken root since she awoke in a terrified sweat.

“No.”

They regard each other in heavy silence. Neither knows quite what to make of this development.

“Do you…” she begins, then pauses, because the question is utterly ridiculous and there’s no possible way… And yet. “Do you remember any of it?”

She doesn’t know what exactly Sasuke saw or experienced when he interacted with the Sage of Six Paths, whether the transfer of his chakra also meant a transfer of memories. It’s not a time they speak of very often.

“No. Whatever I knew that day disappeared quickly,” Sasuke tells her quietly.

“Oh.” She wraps her arms around herself. “So why am I dreaming this then? If anyone should be dreaming about you – past-you – it should be you. Or Naruto even. Unless –” She peeks up at him. “Maybe it’s my past life?”

“Then why are you only experiencing it now, after everything we’ve seen?” he counters, the calm from earlier giving way to something sharp.

“I don’t know,” she admits. “It does kind of seem like something the Sage of Six Paths should have mentioned when we all met. But what else could it be? It’s like I’m her, Sasuke.”

Sasuke’s eyes narrow in contemplation, jaw clenched and she swears she can hear him grinding his teeth. She reaches out – it’s instinctive to want to comfort him, even though she’s the one who woke upset – and places a soothing hand on his shoulder. The other automatically covers her still flat stomach.

Sasuke’s eyes follow the movement, and then snap back to her face.

“The dreams didn’t start until you found out you were pregnant,” he says in a low tone.

“It’s possible,” she allows.

“That’s the connection,” he muses, almost to himself, staring into the distance like he is seeing something she can’t. “He is the ancestor of the Uchiha…you’re carrying the next generation…it has to have something to do with that.”

“You really think so?” Sakura asks. The idea is unsettling.

“Do you have any other explanation?” he replies, almost harsh. The calm from earlier has begun to erode.

“Well, no, but we can’t just jump to conclusions,” she reasons. “Maybe it’s just…maybe every woman in your clan has dreams like this. Or…or maybe only women who are about to give birth to someone of Indra’s bloodline. Or –”

“Or maybe it’s because I’m Indra’s reincarnation that it’s happening,” Sasuke interrupts, running a hand across his face in agitation. His right eye flickers briefly between red and black. “Of course, we’ll never know for sure and there’s no one to ask because –”

“Sasuke, stop,” she cuts him off, taking hold of his hand. She squeezes it, trying to transmit some sense of calm, despite the fact that his obvious panic is frightening her. She has never seen him lose composure like this, and her immediate instinct is to put a stop to it. “It’s not something worth getting worked up about. These are dreams. Dreams that might not even be real, and are probably just my mind shoving together a bunch of information. You know, odd facts I know about you and me and maybe some of the plot from that horrible romance novel I was reading. If it helps, I’ll stop reading it.”

“Sakura –”

“Let’s not worry too much about unwanted commentary from dead people, okay?” She makes a face. “And that is a sentence I never though I would say.

The look Sasuke gives her now is equal parts awed and disbelieving.

“You are taking this remarkably well,” he says, sounding almost accusing.

Sakura tosses her hair. “I told you, didn’t I? The day we met the Sage of Six Paths? Nothing will ever surprise me again.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” he says stonily. “Are you sure you don’t know any sleeping draughts you could take? Just to stop the dreams until we know more.”

“Nothing that wouldn’t harm the baby,” she confides. “Relax, darling. I’m sure this is all just a big coincidence. We’re reading too much into it.”

“I’ll have to watch out for you better. Until there’s a way to protect you from this, I need to know everything you see.”

Sakura snorts at this. “Right, and what exactly are you going to do, pry my eyes open when you think I’m having a nightmare and use the…Sharingan…to…Ehhh!” She sees the subtle shift in his expression. “You’re actually th– no! No, no, no! You can’t do that!”

“I wasn’t going to. I was just…considering.”

“Well, consider me breaking your nose!”

“…Using the Sharingan that way wouldn’t be possible anyhow.”

“Possible or impossible, that’s never going to happen! You promise me right now, or I’ll put you down so hard, losing an arm will look like a bee sting!”

Sasuke’s skin turns a shade paler, and he nods.

つづく

Reviews and constructive criticism are always appreciated!

クリ

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#sasusaku #sasusaku fanfic #drama #romance #humor #angst #supernatural #dreaming #past lives #reincarnation #sakura uchiha #sasuke uchiha #indra ootsutsuki #legacy of fire #prompt: the past

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