#what is with me and S names for ocs lol
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i am cringe but i am free.
This is a better quality illustration of Sone, my grumpy pre-Surrak teachings vulcan. He is the result of what happens if you get trapped on a ship with nothing but pre-Surrak texts to read for 5 months.
Text reads (left to right, up to down): *Bitching so much people are asking if they're Romulan* (they're Vulcan... but follow pre-Surrak texts) Prosethic (legs) Velcro (shoes) Wouldn't stop complaining about the "inconvenience" of walking... so, Janeway gave him a gift [wheelchair] (with her replicator rations)... he used his on a set of tea for her... (he loves it, he's just being dramatic)
#blushing a vulcan is hard because they are green#my brain does not compute lol#vulcan oc#vulcan#star trek#star trek oc#i'm being cringe again#oc: sone#what is with me and S names for ocs lol#drowsys art
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I still don't know how to use Tumblr but I wanna dump these here before I can't :P Just a bunch of OCxCanon and the mushroom boi, just, yea
It's been about two weeks and Imma say I didn't realize I was this down bad for a walking fungus /pos
I dont know what else to say I just wanna share 'em and try to make some friends here cus I dont have friends in this fandom *sobs*
oh and here's a rough animatic I made, it's a mess, gets worse the longer you watch cus I stay up too late to make this with a clear mind lol
may contain ooc and some of my weird hc idk
#erm is this how I use Tumblr#is it?#Anyway I'm 04 and that is my OC Fuy :D#The name is inspired by Firefly of couse#I draw whatever I have in mind atm and for now its full of them teehee#wonderful game wonderful design wonderful story I might cry/pos#I love making matching clothes and I wanted to make more and I would if I dont have a school to attempt to lol#I just wanna say I love the game yea#I love Alma and Atom too but Im struggling with my MCs designs *cry*#How many tags I can put here I might just ramble here lol#04's drawer#< I see ppl having their art tags so I guess this is mine I think#mushroom oasis#mushroom oasis vn#mushroom oasis oc#mushroom oasis fanart#I honest dont know what kinda tag I should put here Im not used to tagging my art lol#English is not my first language so forgive me if I make mistake or some sentences dont make sense erm#artists on tumblr#digital art
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cant believe i managed to put together a character inspiration graph. some are stronger than others, but it's fun to be able to put one together for once :') Anyway, inspiration board for aurora
Characters: -Snow Maiden (from the fairytale of the same name) -Odette (from the ballet Swan Lake) -The Unicorn/Amalthea (from The Last Unicorn) -Ninian (from Fire Emblem Blazing Blade) -The Princess (from Slay the Princess) -Sleeping Beauty/Rosamund du Prix (the fairytale of the same name/Dimension 20 Neverafter)
#aurora (oc)#character inspo board#snow maiden is the most obvious bc she literally is what auroras race is named after.#but to be specific. the ignorance. innocence. and inability to understand the world around her for her very nature and that the world#punishes her for that at times. as well as not being able to win over the first person she had feelings for i suppose lol#odette has always been a big inspo for me#bc of the curse shes under and the body transformations she undergoes unwillingly#amalthea is newer bc i didnt know about her to start but when i did learn of her i was like 'oh! points'#ninian is a soft spoken ice coded character (shes an ice dragon so lol) who is hunted by the big bad. she also gets amnesia#bc of the big bads actions similar to aurora#ninian was tied with deirdre from fe4 but ninian fit a bit better so she won out#still disappointed i couldnt find better offical art of ninian. she deserves prettier art than just moe blob shes been given#the princess is more nebulous. i cant pinpoint why exactly but i always think of aurora when i think of her. the thorn and the damsel#specifically a lot of time#meanwhile sleeping beauty on her own is someone cursed and loses So many years to the whims of another#for a slight she didn't even commit but instead her parent (s)#originally i just had sleeping beauty but i felt that rosumand is not only recognizable but also her#deconstruction of the fairytale fits into the fact aurora is a fairytale character who is Not happy about the consequences of it#anyway. gestures
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Out with the old and in with the new
i’ll miss you snufkin I made 2 years ago o7
#I’ve had this pfp since my moomin days#now he’s being replaced with a no name oc#I’m still trying to come up with at least a name for him#Help me out guys!#Should I mention he isn’t quite inspired by Wally Darling? (what a surprise)#He’s actually inspired by Paul Anka and the hairstyles of the 50’s!#Im lying like shit#It’s inspired by this one cupid from the game “Pocket Love” Lols!#The other two are good factors though!
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NEIGHBOR BLUNDER, pt. 6 — JJK (m.)

in hindsight, you should have seen it coming. had always known your luck – or lack of it, thereof – and the universe's meticulous plan of your downfall made it easy for you to get tangled up in a series of unfortunate events, which presents itself as the neighbor that lives across from you, jeon jungkook.
PAIRING jungkook x (fem) reader
GENRE r18+ (fluff, angst, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
CHAPTER WORD COUNT 14.6k
CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC neighbor!jk, bsf!jimin, accountant!oc, software engineer!jk, jk and jimin are chaebols lol, minjoon boyfriends <<<<3, as usual, super dreamy jk 😞 arguments,, lowkey,, emotional constipation like always, kinda angsty if u squint. Also jungkook kinda abuses the fuck out of 23278648 pet names available in the world even eye laughed... SPOILER AHEAD DONT READ IF U DONT WANNA KNOW [ explicit sexual content: mature language, very indulgent bl*wjob scene lmfao, a teeny tiny bit of c*mplay, fing*ring, c*nniling*s, penetr*tive s*x (p in v), c*wgirl s*x, protected s*x, multiple org*sms, jungkook has a filthy mouth 🫤😑😑 ]
NOTES i dont have anything to say except enjoyyy!! let me know your thoughts in my inbox gimme ur theories gimme ur keeb smashes gimme ur 2746th "i want nb jk so bad" 🤓☝🏼💓💓
[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] // [ MAIN MASTERLIST ]

You like to think of yourself as a reasonable person. You make okay decisions, even though it takes you a few weeks and a thousand debriefs. You can’t buy something off the rack without going through 10-year-old posts on Reddit, and you certainly are very keen with people you let into your life – given your two to three friends.
The point is, while you may be a bit of a klutz, you take your adult life kind of seriously, and especially your relationships.
You were so sure that what happened back at the motel with Jungkook when you were stranded was going to be this whole… one-time-thing. That you both were just horny, stuck in a weird situation, just heat-of-the-moment lapse in judgment, and afterwards he would tell you to forget about it. And if he did, you’d accept it. It might crush you a little bit inside, but you know you’ll be fine to keep going on with your life even though that might have been the best orgasm you’ve had since forever and you’d like to experience it again.
What surprised you the most wasn’t that it happened. It was how you felt the next morning.
There was no regret.
When you opened your eyes – bleary and barely awake because of the little hours you got in – Jungkook wasn’t in bed. He was coming back through the door with a bag of pastries and coffee from what you assumed was the local bakery. He told you everything was handled, his car and your stuff, and you could take your time getting ready. You’d head back once you were set.
You fell asleep again on the ride home. Jungkook walked you to your apartment and bid you a kind smile when you said goodbye.
And nothing happened after. No awkward texts. No slow fade. And you were just so ready for the worst thing to happen. Like him suddenly going MIA on you or something…
But now it’s the day after, and you’re together again in his car after he texted you to ride with him on the way home after work – cramped up in the driver’s seat with you on his lap.
Frantically making out.
“Oh,” you let out a soft moan, carding your fingers through Jungkook’s hair, not even caring about how you’re messing up his hairdo.
A needy, impatient sort of heat builds between you two. His mouth is on yours, hands exploring like he couldn’t decide where to start. Another moan slips out from you he cups the swell of your ass through your trousers, and a rush of frustration bubbles up in your chest.
God, why didn’t you wear a skirt?
“You smell good,” Jungkook murmurs into your neck, kissing a slow trail up to your jaw before groaning as you rock against him, grinding against the growing bulge pressing up through his slacks.
“Y-yeah?” you mumble, tugging at his tie and popping open the first three buttons of his shirt. Your fingers graze his chest, warm and solid and stupidly inviting.
“This is the scent you wore back at the party.” He untucks your blouse from your waistband, his warm hands sending shivers down your spine when they travel across the span of your back.
Yeah. And also the scent you exclusively use for special, big occasions. Because in the true broke girl tradition, there’s always that unreasonably priced perfume you keep in your vanity while you spritz the hell out of the cheap one. You’ve only used it a total of ten times ever since you bought it a month ago, the eleventh time being now… which is just a regular day in the office.
But being in Jungkook’s lap and making out with him in his car is not regular day in the office. So maybe you lucked out on spraying that expensive perfume – totally because it was just there on your vanity, by the way – and not because you were expecting something to happen today.
Totally.
“Uh, yeah,” you shift on his lap. “It was on sale.”
Which is probably information he did not need and a total bald-faced lie.
He hums, kisses dropping down to your sternum, hands getting heavier under your clothes. You take his face in your hands again to press your mouth on him, your moan getting swallowed by his eager reciprocity, both in the movement of his tongue inside your mouth and his erection that’s making you wet your panties as you rock your hips against him.
Jungkook’s fingers trace the cups of your bra. “Can I?” He asks, mouth agape. You don’t even know what he meant, you just nod. A second later and he’s squeezing your breasts in his palms.
“S-so you wanted to drive me home for this?” you arch your brow at him playfully, grinding against his lap and relishing in the warmth of his hands on your chest. God, you wish he’d do something about your bra soon.
Jungkook chuckles, nipping your jaw. “No. I wanted to ask you to come over to my place to have dinner.”
As if that triggered your intestines, your stomach suddenly growls – quite loudly in the confined space of his car and around the quiet parking lot of the building.
Jungkook freezes, staring at you.
You shut your eyes close in embarrassment, groaning. “Ugh, sorry. I haven’t eaten at all today and you mentioning dinner is making me remember that.”
“Oh…”
Jungkook reluctantly watches you as you carefully leave his lap, completely halting your previous activity. He grips your hand as he helps you transfer to the passenger’s seat, looking at you as you put your hair up and tuck your shirt.
He adjusts uncomfortably in his seat, clearing his throat. You can’t help but eye the very obvious outline of his dick in his pants, and it’s very huge, alright, making you grin.
“I hope that’s not gonna be a problem.”
Jungkook takes in the mischief in your eyes and scoffs playfully, shaking his head as he starts the ignition to drive.

You spend about thirty minutes in the shower – which is definitely not at all your usual routine – but it did the job. You smell like raspberries now, and the outfit you pulled on afterwards looks casual enough for Jungkook not to suspect what’s going on underneath. Just an oversized shirt and pajama pants. Innocent. Normal.
But you have on a lacy pair of white thong… just in case something does happen tonight. At least you’re the least bit prepared…
When you look at your phone, it’s already 10:15pm, and Jungkook told you to be over at his place at 10:20. You check yourself in the mirror one last time and head straight to the kitchen where you grab the plastic container of a batch of choco-chip cookies you baked the second he dropped you off earlier.
You’ve perfected the recipe now, you’re sure of it.
But just as you make a beeline for your door, a sudden warmth gushes between your thighs.
An all too familiar feeling by now.
Oh no.
You dash to the bathroom, tug your pajama pants down, slide off your panties and – yep. There it is. A bright red stain against the flimsy white fabric that went right through the pants.
“Goddamn it,” you mutter, frowning. Of all the nights to get your period, of course it had to be this one.
You had showered. Prepped. Put on the g-string. And you were this close to maybe – possibly – having sex with Jungkook. You hadn’t said anything about it, not outright, but come on. That impulsive make-out session in the car earlier? The way he kept adjusting himself? The tension practically humming between you?
Yeah, something was definitely going to happen.
Well, probably not anymore.
Grumbling, you toss your pants into the laundry and rummage through your cabinet for a pad. You move like you’re trudging through emotional mud, begrudgingly pulling on a clean pair of a less sexier granny panties and fresh bottoms.
So much for that.
It’s not like you had any of this figured out anyway. No “so, what happened” talk, no conversations about the night at the motel or whatever is… happening now. And now your uterus has decided to sabotage you. Amazing.
Still, cookies in hand and spirits only mildly deflated, you head out of your apartment and make your way to Jungkook’s porch.
He opens the door on the second buzz, greeting you with a grin that makes your stomach flip. Even more so when you realize he’s wearing sweatpants. Grey sweatpants. Ugh. This man.
“Hi.”
“Hey, come in,” Jungkook says, eyeing the plastic in your hand. “What’s that?”
“Cookies.” you bring it up to your chest. “I made them real quick so it’s not a lot. But I can assure you it’s better now and you definitely won’t get food poison.”
He chuckles, leading the way to his living area. “You say that as if I got food poisoning the first time.”
“Maybe you did and you just didn’t tell me.”
He shakes his head, still smiling. “You know you didn’t have to bring something, right?”
“Uh-huh.,” you mutter, following him in, “but since you’re making dinner, I thought I could take care of dessert.”
The moment the words leave your mouth, your face scrunch up.
Jungkook pauses just long enough to glance back at you, amused, before shaking his head again with another soft laugh.
What? What did he think you meant by that? Geez…

Comfortable silence settles between you, the soft clinking of wine glasses and the distant narration of some random BBC documentary filling the space. You teased Jungkook again about his massive TV – said the faces look so big that it’s just kind of funny – but really, it’s kind of cute the way his ears flush red when he gets shy talking about his stuff.
You talk. About work, mostly. Jungkook’s been pulling longer shifts, taking on more than usual. You tell him about your days have been the same lately, just mindless repetition. He compliments the cookies you brought, and after a bit of coaxing, admits the first batch you made for him weeks ago were kind of bad. You laugh and pretend to be offended.
It was nice.
Somehow, you talk about everything and nothing. Not once either of you mentioned the motel. Not the kiss in the parking lot. Not even a vague nod to the tension that’s been following you around like a ghost.
And maybe that’s the problem.
It feels like Jungkook’s waiting for you to jump the gun first. But how the hell are you supposed to do that? How do you casually bring up the fact that he kissed you like he meant it? How exactly are you going to talk about the night you shared a kiss with the man you think you’ve liked for so many weeks now? How are you going to talk about how he made you orgasm to sleep because it was the best you've ever had since and it was so much better than the scenarios you’ve made up in your head? And god, those scenarios didn’t even live up to the very real thing.
You want to bring it up. God, you need to. Not because you’re hopeful that this night would lead to something – but because you just need to know if he would want to do that again sometime.
But something in you is scared that Jungkook will suddenly speak up and tell you the night was a mistake and you both should get over it.
But you also know that kiss in the parking lot must’ve meant something. The way you just jumped at each other like you weren't in a public space and Jungkook not minding one bit must’ve meant that he wanted it too.
That maybe, just like you, he can’t help but notice the thick tension up in the air as you sit on the couch so close to each other, his familiar scent overwhelming your senses, and the way he looks so cozy in his white shirt and… grey sweatpants. Ugh. You swear you weren’t going to pay any attention to it as soon as he opened that door, but how could you not when he just looks way too effortlessly good and you know exactly what it's hiding–
“You want some more?”
Your thoughts are cut short when Jungkook suddenly speaks, looking at your wine glass.
“Uh…” you glance at the clock. “No, I should probably get going. It’s almost 11. I have work tomorrow– we have work tomorrow,” you chuckle awkwardly, glancing at the wall clock across the room.
Just like that, you go back to your shell again, overwhelmed by your anxiety and fear of rejection.
But for a brief second, Jungkook looks disappointed by your response, although he’s quick to wipe that off with a smile.
“Okay. I’ll walk you out.”
Okay. Well maybe you didn’t really want him to say that at all.
Hiding your disappointment this time, you stand up from the seat and let Jungkook talk you into leaving the wine glasses on the coffee table as opposed to bringing it to the kitchen yourself, as Jungkook insisted he’ll take care of it once you leave.
Jungkook’s hand lingers on your lower back as you stand by his door, ready to say goodbye.
“Thanks for the dinner.” you say quietly.
“You’re welcome,” Jungkook smiles. “We can do this again sometime.”
“Sure. Why not?”
“Alright. See you tomorrow, then?”
You halt your steps, lips curling into a half-smile. “That flatters me.”
Jungkook leans on the doorframe, crossing his arms across his chest. “I was hoping so.”
You bite back a grin, nod, turning to leave. But…
“__—”
“Jungkook—”
Your head snaps quickly to his direction, and you both stare at each other in surprise. Jungkook’s gaze melts into a soft look.
“You first.”
“No, you first.”
“___,” he says with a chuckle, coaxing.
You take a deep breath, bracing yourself.
Just take the chance, something in your head tells you.
And you took the bait.
“This is going to sound incredibly stupid,” you start, voice low and hesitant. “but what happened back at the motel — I’m not sure if we’re allowed to talk about that again — but we kind of kissed this afternoon and I… I don’t know what that meant. I guess what I’m trying to say is… I wanna do it again sometime. If you’re willing,” you voice wavers, trying to look into his eyes but the weight of your words crawl deep in your skin it makes you scared to even make eye contact. “But if you’re not, then that’s totally fine. We can forget it happened.”
Silence stretched for a beat too long. Panic starts to rise in your chest – until Jungkook steps forward.
“If I’m willing?” He echoes, blinking like he’s not sure he heard you right.
You nod, wary. “Y-yeah…?”
He steps closer, and your breath catches.
“Do you know how much I’ve thought about you since then?” He takes a tentative touch to your hips, and when you don’t say a thing or make a move to pry him off, Jungkook takes a hold of you to pull you closer, making you gasp quietly. “Everytime I close my eyes, all I can think about is how I’ve held these hips as I licked you, kissed you, and touched you. I’ve never been one to give in to my wants as easy as the way you made me when we walked back to my car this afternoon because all I wanted to do was to have a taste of you again, even though I would’ve liked for us to talk first. That means I can’t have enough,” Jungkook studies your face as he leans down, gaze so full of want, but there’s a certain control under his hold. It makes your breath hitch.
“And you want to know if I’m willing?” Jungkook tacks on, lifting his hand to caress your cheek, gaze dropping from your eyes to your lips. You anticipate his next words, but when he presses you closer – that’s when you feel it. The hard-on he’s sporting under the grey sweatpants you’ve been fantasizing about ever since you walked in on his apartment.
“Oh…” you gasp, reaching for his shoulder as you feel your knees slightly buckling.
Then, Jungkook chuckles, amused. But it’s dark and rich, and his boner is still very much pressing to your stomach.
In the heat of the moment, you stand on your tippy toes and kiss Jungkook.
He seems to be surprised at it first, but his arms slowly make their way around you to hold you as you tighten yours around his neck, letting out a soft moan when his tongue prods in.
You stumble inside, Jungkook walking you back inside his apartment all the while not breaking the kiss, and the next thing you know, he’s kicking off the door shut, hands travelling down to your legs to carry you across his apartment.
You yelp at the sudden way your feet get lifted off the ground, but Jungkook carries you with a certain grace as if you’re nothing but paperweight – hot tongue swirling around your mouth like kissing you was a lifeline.
He lays you down gently on the couch, trailing kisses along your jaw. When you grab at the hem of his shirt, he sits back to quickly rid himself off the material.
You bite on your bottom lip as soon as you see what’s on display. Wide chest, narrow waist, toned abdomen, and sculpted arms with ink. You would’ve liked to admire it more but Jungkook quickly goes back to kissing you after taking off his shirt, hands roaming all over your body as if he can’t quite decide where to put it at all. Then, he kneels in between your spread legs, slowly settling himself down on the floorboards. You watch with half-lidded eyes as his lips leave trail kisses down your neck to your sternum, until his hands slide your top off your stomach, kissing the exposed skin.
Your hands settle on his soft locks, where you admire the way he moves down your body, huge hands splayed on your skin, making you ache in between your legs.
Your eyes blow out as you remember exactly what’s in between your legs.
Fuck.
Before Jungkook can kiss you there, you grab at his shoulders. “Jungkook,”
He looks up quickly, fringe going in different directions, biceps unconsciously flexing at your touch. “Hm?”
Even though it pains you, you tell him, “We can’t tonight…”
“Ah, that’s alright,” He looks up at you in genuine concern. “You’re not feeling okay tonight?”
You shake your head. “No… that’s not it,” You make a face, feeling annoyed all over again. God. Hot sex was on the table. And your period just ruined it. “I got my period. My cycle usually starts at the end of the month.”
Jungkook nods in realization, squeezing your hips in understanding.
“Sorry, then. Should I get you something? I think I may have ice cream in the fridge.” He raises a brow, eyes drifting off to his kitchen.
You take his cheek, grabbing his jaw gently to make him look at you.
“Actually… I was thinking we don’t have to stop.”
His eyes may have lightened up, and Jungkook takes your wrist to press a kiss to the side of your hand.
“Yeah, I don’t really mind as long as you’re comfortable with it. We’ll put on a towel— okay, I can see on your face that’s not what you meant.”
“No…? I was thinking I’ll give you a blowjob instead.”
“Ah…” Jungkook nods again. “Are you sure? Don’t you have cramps?”
You chuckle. “Not yet. It’ll kick in on the second day,” You nudge him with your foot. “Come on up here.”
“You’re sure? We don’t need to do anything, baby,”
Baby. God. That nickname had always been so generic but there’s something about the way it rolls off Jungkook's tongue.
“I’m sure.”
Jungkook gives you one of his million dollar smiles and kisses his way back up until your lips meet again.
“Can I?” You nod when Jungkook tugs at your shirt. With your permission, he slides your top off, hissing at the sight of your bra-cladded chest.
He goes down to lick your nipple through the material, and you grab his hair when you feel him give you a slightly harsh nip. He licks it again, as if offering some sort of silent apology.
When he pulls the cups down, that’s when you push him to the side making him fall to the couch, and you take that time to kneel down this time in between his spread legs.
“Put this on your knees first.” Jungkook hands you the throw pillow on the couch. You take them and fluff them under your knees, and when you finish doing that, you attend to Jungkook’s very taunting grey sweatpants, tugging it off him. He helps you slide the pants off together with his boxers – and you have to fight the urge to take it slow when his hard cock springs free.
You’ve seen it before, have held it – but those moments felt so brief that they almost didn’t feel real. So when you see it up-close, so girthy and standing tall against his abdomen with the angry red tip slightly leaking, your breath gets caught up in your throat.
“Fuck,” Jungkook lets out a low groan when you begin teasing kisses to his thighs.
His gorgeous, thick thighs.
God… you wonder how it would tense up with your feet resting on them as you bounce up and down on his huge cock.
But you watch the way they clench when your lips get nearer to where he aches; watch as they tense under your touch when you place your hands there. And you watch Jungkook – most especially – as he looks down at you with hooded eyes, dark with want, his chest heaving under the tension.
“Is this what you want?” You ask, blinking at him meekly. His mouth opens to speak, but you don’t let him say another word as you let a glob of saliva fall down to the crown of his cock. You adjust your position in between his thighs, getting more comfortable but also pushing your ass out as you wrap your hand around the base.
Jungkook hisses when you twist your hand, gingerly spreading the wetness of your saliva around him. He lets his back fall to the back of the couch with a light thud, and you smirk when you see his abs clench.
“You’re killing me here, __. Don’t tease.”
You give him a non-committal hum. You meant to tease, but touching him like this feels like all your thoughts have suddenly gone to mush, and you’re left with only want – the want to pleasure him, to get him to let out those little huffs and grunts like when you two kissed…
You languidly move your hand around his shaft, humming at the way his tip oozes out more wetness which makes it easier for you to stroke him. You can’t help but watch in fascination as he seems to continue to grow around you. So hard and veiny… almost needy, the way he breathes heavily above you.
“Baby, fuck… you’re so pretty, god—” Jungkook’s words get cut off when you lean down to close your lips around the head, sucking at the softer tip before you take more of his length. “F-fuck…” Jungkook rasps, fingers gathering your hair in a makeshift ponytail when you start bobbing your head up and down.
He feels big. Warm. But you smile to yourself when Jungkook shifts on the couch at the sensation. It felt good to have him squirming like that beneath your touch, to have him keening like this.
Gripping the base, you twist your fingers around the remaining length you couldn’t put in your mouth, jacking him off. From there, you start picking up your pace until Jungkook’s a panting mess. You’ve never pegged him as the type to be so… vocal. But it felt good, and at this point, you just want to see him let go of himself, even as he grips your hair tighter by every second that passes. It didn’t hurt enough to be uncomfortable, the force was just right – and it felt like he’s holding on to every muscle of his to not use too much force on your head by the way you can feel his other hand hovering over your hair.
“Ah, __… baby, shit. Yeah, you’re taking my cock so well– shit…”
You pump him faster, and every now and then, you would suck at the tip gingerly, kiss the veins around his rock hard dick, roam with your tongue, and test the waters and massage his balls. Soft groans escape past his lips, hips arching off the couch.
“Shit�� baby, fuck,”
You hum, pleased with that. Your tongue teases the underside of his cock with every downstroke, just to hear him swear. You lick off the glistening juice off the head, lick around the ridge, and tighten your grip around the base, sinking your mouth up and down faster.
“God, your mouth is–aghh– Jesus fuck baby I’m gonna–”
You slurp noisily around his cock as you try to take him deeper – and at one point you actually feel him hitting the back of your throat but you were careful enough to adjust your angle and continue to suck him up and down. Jungkook’s gasps increase in speed and pitch, and you can feel him trying to get you off him when he tries to pull your face away from his lap.
“Baby, you gotta–”
But you don’t even let him finish that thought when you grip his thigh with your other hand, sucking his head that gets him keening again.
“Shit, shit, shit __ I’m going to– f-fuuuck,”
Jungkook shoots his hot cum in your mouth, and you didn’t really expect it to be so… much. The first wave felt heavy, but as his thighs spasm, his dick continues to squirt some more, and you open your mouth to catch them all.
“Fuck.”
You pull back with a wet pop, opening your eyes to meet Jungkook’s stare. Your fingers are still around his length when you lick around your lips, noting the way his eyes darken at the sight of you in front of him like this – kneeling in between his legs and licking his cum.
His chest heaves up and down, and he looks like he was about to say something when you suddenly slack your jaw to present your mouth to him – your mouth that’s now painted white with his cum. He watches you carefully as you close your eyes and swallow.
“Jesus.”
“Didn’t know you were religious like that.” you say as soon as everything’s gone in your mouth, giving him a cheeky smile. It’s a bit salty, not terrible, though you kind of expected that.
When you look at Jungkook, his mouth opens and closes like fish in water. You beat him to it when you rise, crawling up on his chest to press your lips to his.
You realize he might be one of those guys who didn't like it very much when their partners kissed them on the mouth right after giving them a blowjob – but Jungkook only slides his arm around your waist, deepening the kiss, dipping his tongue in your mouth until you’re settled on his lap again.
“You’re a fucking dream.” Jungkook says before kissing you again.
You giggle in his mouth, pushing him away slightly. His eyebrows knit in confusion, but he doesn't really look like he’s processing anything.
“You know I realized something about you,” you plant a sweet kiss on the side of his lips. “You don’t cuss at all, but you do it a lot during sex.”
Jungkook’s expression contorts into a frown, as if that was news to him. “Do I?”
You chuckle. “Yeah.”
“I didn’t know that–” then as if cutting off his own thoughts, he dives in for a kiss again. He pulls away for a second, caressing your cheek and thumbing your jaw before staring at you. “God, you’re gorgeous. Pretty girl.”
“Thanks.”
“I think my brain’s broken right now. I don’t have coherent thoughts.”
That makes you laugh. You pat his chest and notice the way Jungkook reluctantly lets you get off his lap, watching with hooded eyes as you rise to your feet.
“Well, I’ll have to get going. It’s—” you glance at the wall clock. “almost 12.”
Jungkook takes your wrist, and you have to be very brave to not look at his lap because he still hasn’t pulled up his pants yet and his dick is still very much on display. And you weren’t really kidding about having to go because you do have an early day tomorrow.
“Do you really have to go?”
You pout. “I have to.”
He sighs as if that disappointed him. “Okay… let me walk you out.”
Jungkook – finally – pulls his pants up, brushing his fingers through his hair as he rises to his feet. He doesn’t bother putting on his shirt, though, and you don’t comment on it, figuring he’d stay inside anyway.
But when you see him slipping into his slides to follow you out, you press a hand lightly to his bare abdomen and laugh. “Hey, it’s literally, like five steps away. Go back inside.”
He pauses, brows furrowing in slight confusion before glancing down at himself. “Let me just grab my shirt, then—”
That makes you giggle. “Brain still broken?”
“I think so…” he trails off then looks at you. “Hey, come here,” he doesn’t wait for you to do so though, just reaches for you to pull you by the waist, pressing you close to him. He leans down and gives you a slow kiss. You could actually feel air being taken away from you when he pulls away, his smile as gentle as the hand that rubs your back. “Thank you, and good night. See you tomorrow?”
You nod, feeling your cheeks flush.
“Okay. Night. And see you tomorrow.”
With a small wave, you turn toward your apartment, not daring to glance back as you head to the door. But you can feel his gaze on you, watching as you slip inside.
It felt like Jungkook wanted you to stay longer…
But the ache in between your thighs was starting to get uncomfortable, and honestly, you really needed to change your pad.
Because the wetness there? Yeah, it definitely wasn’t just your period.

“So… is my laptop dying or…?”
“For the third time; no, your laptop is not dying,” Jungkook gives you a playful shake of his head. “It’s just laggy because you watch a lot of porn on it and you turned off your antivirus for some reason.”
You gasp. A dramatic one.
You give Jungkook a scandalous look before sitting down on the couch with him, peeking over what he’s doing on your device. Frankly, you don’t like it when people touch your things – especially your gadgets – because you had a lot of private stuff in them. But thirty minutes ago, your laptop randomly shut down while you had been doing some excel spreadsheets. In a weird coincidence, Jungkook called you the same time it happened. So you told him about it, and he offered to swing by and take a look. He was a tech guy, after all… and anyway, getting it fixed at some shop would have been expensive.
“I don’t watch porn!” you protest, glaring at him.
Jungkook just blinks at you, looking unconvinced. Then he shrugs. “Okay.”
“And what do you mean antivirus? I don’t even know I have one,” you mumble, placing the bowl of freshly cut watermelon on the coffee table. You fold your legs underneath you and inch closer to see what he’s actually doing. He’s been at it for a few minutes now, but all you see are lines of text and windows you can’t even pretend to understand.
“Yes, you do. And you did turn it off,” he says, gesturing at the screen. It’s full of stuff that might as well be in a foreign language. “These are malware. See this? Classic spyware script. You probably clicked on one of those fake play buttons with a hot singles ad or something.”
You give him a baleful look. He snorts.
“You’re not funny. And I watch porn on twitter like a normal person– okay sometimes maybe I do watch on shady websites but why do you even know that? And why are you interested in my porn.”
“You watch porn on twitter?”
“Mostly, yeah.”
“Hm. Interesting,” he nods and turns to the screen again. “Well, I wanna know what you like.”
You almost fall off the sofa. “Like you want me to give you a list of porn accounts?”
Jungkook actually laughs at that. “What? No. I mean, I'm interested in the porn you like.”
Oh.
“Uhm, I don’t particularly like anything,” you say, although maybe you immediately think of those videos where the woman is on the guy’s lap and he fingers her hard in front of the camera – but other than that, not really. You aren’t some freakazoid about porn. Most of the time, you were fine getting off with pure imagination. “I don’t like BDSM though, I think.”
Jungkook nods, but his eyes are not really on you and instead focused on your laptop as he does things. “Hmm.”
Your head snaps in his direction. “What do you mean, hmm?”
Jungkook meets your stare. “What?”
You study his face, narrowing your eyes. But he just looks at you in confusion, although there’s a little smile tugging at his lips. You drop it anyway, reaching for the watermelon cuts on the coffee table and start eating them as you watch whatever magic Jungkook is doing on your device.
“Anyway, I pirate a lot of movies so there’s that.” You thought that would be helpful to share. Those sites do have a lot of those pop-up ads, and you’d really rather endure that than have some big fuckass streaming corporation steal from you every month.
“I know, I’m just teasing about the porn websites,” Jungkook chuckles when you glare at him. “I could share my streaming accounts with you. I think I have everything.”
Your eyes light up almost instantly, but then you manage to catch yourself.
“Uh, no, you don’t really need to do that…”
He hums, goes back to your laptop. You don’t think about it too much when you pick up a watermelon and hover it over his mouth. Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to eat it off your finger, and you don’t expect the way he sucks the juices off, tongue swirling around your digit while looking into your eyes. It feels like the whole moment took a minute, but in reality it was really only a few seconds, and Jungkook’s back to doing his thing on your laptop.
Oh.
Oh… okay. Well.
You feel the blood rush to your cheeks as you drop your hand to your side, absentmindedly eating your watermelon bites.
Ugh. When will your period end?! Given, it’s only really day two, and you probably have two or three more days to go but ugh…
Your thoughts are interrupted when Jungkook suddenly speaks, rising to his feet.
“All done. I installed a better antivirus, and I logged in my streaming accounts so you don’t get malware again. Also turned off some useless background programs because you had too many running– and I recovered your excel file,” he says, and you give him a grateful smile as you take your laptop and bring it to your chest like it’s your baby. Jungkook chuckles at the sight. “I have to go to the toilet, though. Want to order in and watch something when I’m back?”
“Yeah, sure! Toilet’s over there,” you point to the far right direction of the apartment and watch Jungkook disappear into view to enter the bathroom.
You’re hacking away on your laptop when a phone starts buzzing on the coffee table.
Jungkook’s phone.
You hesitate. You don’t want to knock on the bathroom door just to hand it to him, but you don’t feel right ignoring it either.
The buzzing stops, and you feel relieved for all of one second when it suddenly starts again.
You lean slightly over – not really reaching, just peeking – to see who it is. What if it’s work? What if it’s important? You could tell him about it when he comes back…
The screen lights up with a name: Dad.
You gasp. Just a little.
The bathroom door creaks open behind you and you straighten up like you weren’t doing anything. Jungkook walks out, toweling his hands on his jeans.
“Oh, hey, someone's calling you.”
He gives you a curious look before he crosses the room. You try not to watch too closely as he picks up his phone, but you see it; the way his brows knit together, the way his stance and tone shift when he looks back at you.
“I need to take this real quick” He gestures to the phone. You nod.
He walks far enough that you can’t really make out the conversation, but when you take a peek to look at him, he looks so serious. You’ve only ever seen serious Jungkook when he was at work.
A few seconds later, he returns – apologetic eyes, hand rubbing the back of his neck.
“Hey, I got called into work just now. I’m sorry we can’t have dinner tonight.”
Oh, so you were right! It was a work thing. Still… you wonder why his dad was the one calling.
“No, it’s fine! It must be super important,” you say quickly. “Maybe we can have dinner tomorrow instead?” You say, smiling up at him brightly.
Jungkook breaks into a smile. Then, out of nowhere, he steps closer and leans down to press a kiss to your lips.
You’ve been doing a lot of that lately. Kissing, that is. Just this morning, he drove you to work and you made out before he even started the engine. Then later. After parking, his hands wandered a little too much before you swatted him off, gently reminding him that your breasts were feeling tender from your period.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Then just like that, Jungkook makes his way out of the apartment, and you don’t even know that you’ve been smiling like crazy until the black screen of your laptop catches your silly expression.

You miss Jungkook.
Okay— well. It’s just been two days, really. Well, more like today is day two. So it’s actually just been a full day. But there were no texts yesterday, and there were certainly no calls either. You haven’t seen him come out of his apartment, and you hate that you’re starting to worry.
You were debating whether to send him a message or not when suddenly, your doorbell rings. You weren’t expecting any visitors, especially not today when it was still so early in the morning and you have to go to work soon! But maybe it was your landlord, complaining about something again…
You groan at that, snatching your bag from the counter, planning to head straight to work after dealing with whoever it is. You slide your shoes on, ready for that condescending landlord tone only to freeze when you open the door.
“Jungkook,” you gasp, acting like you’ve just seen a ghost. And he seems to think so as well, cocking his head to the side at the unusual greeting. “You’re here.” you blurt out.
“Yeah, I went back to my place last night but only for awhile. We launched a system yesterday and something broke in production. QA didn’t catch it, so now we had to roll it—” as if he thought he was sparing you with some boring talk, he cuts himself off and smiles at you instead. “I had to work overtime. I’m sorry I missed dinner last night.”
“Eh, don’t worry. It’s not that serious. I know you're extra busy these days. Anyway, are you on the way to work?” Jungkook nods. “We should go together, then.”
“I was just going to say that.”
You step out of your apartment, and Jungkook waits for you to lock up before you both walk side by side down the stairs. You don’t know why but somehow, having seen him today and walking with him to his car where you’re gonna be riding in together to go to work was giving you a sense of contentment that you missed yesterday. Okay, so maybe this was a thing that was starting to grow on you. And maybe being with Jungkook genuinely makes you feel happy – giddy, for the most part. But it felt silly to have missed him when it was only really a day…
But you didn’t really want to dwell on that. It wasn’t Jungkook’s obligation to drive you to work everyday, and you certainly aren’t entitled to his undivided attention when you know exactly just how hectic his work schedule is. You couldn’t ask him to make time for you, even though you would like that.
“Oh!” Jungkook startles beside you when you suddenly halt. You look at him, wide-eyed. “Jungkook, it’s September first today!”
Jungkook checks his phone, brows furrowed. “Yes…?”
You eye him incredulously. “It’s your birthday!”
At first, the words didn’t seem to register, but Jungkook slowly nods. “Ah yeah, it’s my birthday today.”
“Why do you sound so unexcited?” You pout.
He chuckles, stepping closer to brush away a stray of hair you hadn’t even noticed had fallen across your face.
“Baby, it’s just another day.”
You feeze at the word. It’s the first time he called you that outside of you two… fooling around. It slips naturally from his mouth in that situation, but hearing it in this very non-sexual context was kind of throwing you off-balance – because this moment wasn’t supposed to feel intimate. Not like that, anyway.
Looking away, you say, “Still. You should do something to celebrate. Oh! I think… oh…” your eyes widen at the thought of throwing him a mini-party tonight. Obviously, Jungkook doesn't make a big deal of his birthdays, based on his response. But you thought about baking him a cake. And cookies! He liked the cookies you made last time! And you were practicing cakes these days so maybe it’d be nice to make him a small one. You turn to him with hopeful eyes. “Are you free tonight?”
Jungkook hesitates, but he smiles down at you. “Yeah, I’m free tonight. Why?”
You grin. “You’ll have to come to my place to find out! Oh, it’s gonna be fun. Ugh, I wish we can invite Jimin…”

You’re honestly proud of yourself for not breaking down when the piping tip you bought turns out to be the wrong one. The blue icing on your apron now looks like abstract art, and there’s enough sugar on your kitchen floor to summon an army of rants.
You just wanted the cake to be perfect. The cookies already were – but the cake, maybe not so much. And it was fine! It tasted fine! But the decorating sucked and at this point you just kind of wish Jungkook would look past the awkward lettering and appreciate the effort behind all these.
You didn’t have much time. He texted you after work that he couldn’t drive you home. He had to stay late, which actually worked out because it gave you the extra time you needed to prepare.
Although for the record, this wasn’t even a real surprise. You just made baked goods. And you cooked some food. And by cook you scratched off the chicken shop’s label and put it in the microwave to heat it up by the time you finished cleaning up your place since Jungkook was gonna be here by 11pm.
Which is why, at 10:40, you rush to the shower.
When you’re done, you step in front of the mirror to check yourself out. You’ve rummaged through your closet and found an old lingerie you don’t remember ever putting on. You remember it as one of those “feel-good” purchases awhile ago.
It’s nothing special, really. Just your usual black lace two-piece. The bra’s light and sheer, made of floral lace with thin straps that sat neatly on your shoulders. There are little pink bows too on them, which kind of made it cute. It didn’t offer much coverage, what with your nipples poking through the fabric – but that seemed to be the point. Meanwhile the panties are just as bold; crotchless, cut daringly open in the center, but softened by the same delicate lace. The set originally had garter straps and thigh-high stockings, but you thought that would be an overkill so you opted out of it.
You cover it up with a casual white dress, spritzing on the La Belle perfume Jungkook always seems to like a little too much.
There, everything’s done. Your period’s gone too, obviously, (day four, thank god) almost as if it knew not to ruin this night for you.
When you head out of your bedroom, you pick your phone up from the kitchen counter to dial Jungkook’s phone.
He usually answers on the first or second ring, but this time, he doesn’t. Wasn’t unusual or anything, given how busy he is… but you do frown when the ringing ends and there’s nothing that comes next but his voicemail.
Your frown deepens. You shift from one foot to the other, glancing at the clock. It’s past eleven now. Fifteen minutes past, to be exact.
Jungkook’s not usually late to things.
You sigh, trudging to one of the chairs in the dining area where you prepared the food and cake for him. You also bought wine and lit up a candle.
You stare at your phone for a solid minute before you pick it up again, deciding to send Jungkook a text.
You [11:16pm]: hey!! are you running late :>
You chose to add the emoticon in the end so the text doesn’t feel too mysterious or broody or serious. Really, you aren’t mad, maybe a little upset now – but maybe Jungkook’s just in the middle of something… what was that again? Someone breaking in production, whatever that meant…
But the clock turns 11:25, and there is still no sign of Jungkook on your phone – and even more so on your door.
You [11:25pm]: are you busy? sorry if im bothering you!
Then on second thought, you added:
You [11:26pm]: oh no pls dont tell me you forgot.. 🙁
Maybe he did forget. You hadn’t reminded him of it when you talked earlier. Did you have to? He said he was free tonight, so you kind of assumed…
You sigh again.
The chicken was turning cold and so was the other food on the table.
You pick up a cookie to nibble on it, thinking of why Jungkook would forget. Or why he wouldn’t text you back or return your call.
At eleven thirty, you stand up from your seat, suddenly feeling so… so silly. Silly about the food. Silly about the cake. Silly about your dress. And most especially, you feel silly about the lingerie that’s hidden underneath.
How silly. To plan all these in expectation of what… Jungkook’s company?
But it was his birthday. And you wanted to throw him a party, thought it would mean something to him, even though it’s not that much. But you did go through a lot of trouble to put this all out… but he also didn’t ask you either. So really, you have no right to feel upset over him not making good on his promise.
Wait, did he promise anything though? No, he didn’t. Not really. He just said he was free tonight. No promises. Maybe his schedule changed again and he needed to work overtime.
You start putting away the food in the fridge, not even having the energy to eat something for dinner. You go back to your room, stripping yourself off and changing into some comfortable pajamas before throwing yourself on the bed.
Still no texts.
It’s 11:42pm when it comes.
You hate how fast your body reaches for your phone to see who it was, lighting up when you see Jungkook (Unit 446) on the caller ID, even more so when you answer it.
“Hey, I got your texts. I’m so sorry, __—”
“It’s fine!” you nibble on your bottom lip as you try to contain your excitement. “Are you coming soon?”
“I– no, ba—” you flinch involuntarily when you hear him cut himself off. You were so sure he was going to call you baby, but he corrected himself quickly. “You remember the thing I mentioned this morning? The rollback didn’t go as planned. I’m working overtime tonight again so I can’t really go…”
“Oh…”
“Did you plan something? It’s just my birthday, __. Maybe we can go somewhere tomorrow?” Jungkook chuckles on the other end of the line, and for the first time it didn’t make you feel giddy or whatever.
You pick on the bed sheet before answering. “Uh, no. It’s not anything big, actually. I just made you some cookies. And ordered some food. But anyway I just ate dinner first because you took so long,” the lie rolls off your tongue easier than you expected. His laugh made you feel shitty. You know he didn’t mean anything by it – but it just made you feel so… so unimportant.
And suddenly, you want to downplay the whole thing. Because clearly, he thinks it’s no big deal.
“Hey, are you upset?” His tone shifts — gentler now.
“Ah, no. Sorry. I’m so tired and sleepy,” you fake a yawn and snuggle on the bed. “Maybe we can talk tomorrow when you’re here?”
Tomorrow is now your least favorite word. You’ve heard it too many times from him lately.
Jungkook doesn’t say anything for a few seconds.
Then you hear him sigh.
“I’m sorry again, I swear I’ll make it up to you.”
“No need to!” you tell him, making sure to say that as cheerfully as possible. Jungkook doesn’t need to. It’s not like you were dating or something for you to be upset over him bailing on you. “Really, it’s fine. Hey, I’m really, really sleepy now. Good night?”
“Okay, sorry. Sleep well, __. Tomorrow, okay?”
You hum, not sure if you believe that. Maybe tomorrow he’s going to have to do overtime again. Maybe tomorrow he won’t be here again.
Whatever.
It wasn’t a big deal.
You end the call, but before you can drop your phone onto the nightstand, you type out one last message.
You [11:45pm]: happy birthday!

You didn’t get much sleep last night. Not like your body clock has ever been particularly reliable,
This morning, you didn’t really think that much about it when you put the cake in a container and dropped it off at Jungkook’s door on your way down the stairs. You figured you could’ve eaten it, but you made it for him and anyway… it was his birthday and you still think he deserves a cake. He didn’t exactly seem like he was celebrating last night.
You took the bus to work. Nothing unusual, nothing exciting. Just another day dragging your limbs through the same monotonous rhythm. Your brain feels like it’s moving on autopilot by the time you tap your company ID at the building entrance and wait in line for the elevator.
Slipping inside, you wedge yourself into a spare corner, arms crossed as the lift fills and empties floor by floor. Eventually, it’s just you and one other woman left. She steps out when the elevator dings, cradling her phone against her shoulder as she barks something stressed into the line.
Instinctively, you lean forward and press the hold button, stepping onto the side when you take notice of someone going in, only to realize it was Jungkook.
It’s funny, really. Somehow, he only ever seems to appear when he’s the last person you’re ready to see.
“Oh– good morning, Mr. Jeon,” you say, dipping your head in a polite little nod. The words sound awkward even to your own ears, stiff. You’ve never had to think about how to interact with him in the workplace.
Judging by the slight flicker on Jungkook’s face, he thinks it sounds weird too. But he recovers quickly, offering a faint smile as he steps in.
You return his smile, just as polite, and inch a little further to the side – so far that your back nearly presses to the elevator wall, creating an unnecessary gap between you.
The silence is noticeable. Tense, but it’s civil at least. You glance at the floor numbers blinking overhead, half-hoping this ride doesn’t last long.
Then Jungkook shifts in your periphery.
“Hey, about last night—”
The elevator dings.
It’s your floor.
You step out quickly, almost too quickly, heart tapping a little faster than it should.
You don’t look back.

You didn’t expect to get a text from Jungkook that night.
Jungkook (Unit 446) [9:37pm]: Do you wanna drive home together?
You made a mental note to give him a reply but it’s thirty minutes later that you remembered about it.
You [10:11pm]: hey sorry I just got home
Jungkook (Unit 446) [10:14pm]: Okay Jungkook (Unit 446) [10:14pm]: Please come over tonight? I’m cooking
You [10:16pm]: i'm not sure if I can You [10:17pm]: i’ll try to. I brought home some work :/
He doesn’t give a reply after that.
And maybe that – weirdly – made you irritated. He’d texted first, and he’d asked you over. You gave a soft no, not even a hard one, and he didn’t even try again? Just left it like that?
You sigh and close the lid of your laptop. For once, you hadn’t lied about being busy with work. It was just a few reports you figured you could finish now to make tomorrow lighter and easier. It was nothing really urgent.
But you do feel sort of guilty about it.
Your door buzzes, and you have second thoughts whether or not you ordered dinner.
When you open the door, it felt like deja vu.
“Jungkook.” you say, blinking.
“Are you still working?” He’s in his work clothes, though the sleeves of his button-up are slightly rolled now. It looks like he just got home not long ago.
You glance at the laptop on the coffee table. “No, I just finished…”
“Okay, then I have a question,” Jungkook steps inside, and you unconsciously take a step back at that, looking at him curiously. He watches you carefully. “Are we okay?”
Caught off guard, you stammer when you say, “I– yeah! Sure, why wouldn’t we be?”
He doesn’t say anything for a beat, then, “You seemed a little off this morning. I thought maybe it was about last night.”
You try to wave it off, suddenly nervous about Jungkook being so straight-forward. Usually, men were so emotionally stunted as you are and never faced their problems head-on.
“No, I mean, it’s fine. You were probably so busy. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“But it did kind of matter.”
You exhale, shifting uncomfortably. “Okay, maybe I was a little upset. But it’s not like I’m mad mad.”
“I figured,” Jungkook says, voice soft. “And I get it if you don’t want to hang out tonight, but I still wanted to try. I know I’ve flaked twice now, but I meant what I said, about making it up to you.”
You shift your weight from one foot to the other. “With food?”
He smiles faintly. “With food. Amongst other things.”
That earns a chuckle from you. You’re not over it – unfortunately – but something about the way he’s standing there, almost cautious, makes it hard to keep your walls all the way up.
“So,” he asks gently. “Will you come?”
Taking a deep breath, you unintentionally look down at your socks.
“Only if there’s wine…” you say softly.
Jungkook’s smile spreads. “There’s wine.”
You sigh and start toeing your slippers off. “If it’s terrible, I’m leaving in five minutes.”
“I can live with that.”

Inside Jungkook’s place, the lights are unusually dim, the apartment warm with the scent of garlic and something buttery. A jazz record plays at the far corner, and you only noticed then that Jungkook owned a vinyl player – which you kind of didn’t expect – you sort of pegged him as the type to not have time to listen to music.
Meanwhile, he goes straight to the kitchen counter, where you watch him by the stove, plating food like a professional. You realized he had been cooking, and that’s why his tie was a little loose and his hair kind of a muss.
You don’t really know what to say, so you try to break the silence with, “Uhm, wow.”
Jungkook glances at you, mouth lifting at the corner. “I try sometimes.”
The obvious faux humility makes you laugh. You know exactly that he knows you’re impressed by the whole thing.
And you haven’t even eaten his food yet.
Walking in slowly to the dining area, your eyes skim over the table where there are real wine glasses, cloth napkins, and a lit candle.
“So what’s the occasion?” You ask, sitting on the chair, watching Jungkook as he heads towards your direction, bringing in the food he was preparing. You smile up at him. “Guilt?”
He chuckles under his breath, and you’re almost glad that the joke lands.
“Maybe. Also I figured you deserve a proper dinner, made by me. Since someone went out of their way to make me one.”
You hum. “Can’t believe you stood me up on your own birthday.”
He brings the plates over and sits across from you. “I cooked,” he says. “Try it before you decide if I’m forgiven.”
You eye the food, a little surprise at how he mustered up a risotto with seared scallops, and of course perfectly plated. Like he’s just so good at everything he does… wait, did Jungkook go to culinary school? You’re starting to think that.
“You know how to make risotto?”
“I know how to do a lot of things,” he meets her gaze.
Yeah, you know that was a hundred percent true…
You take a bite, careful not to let any expression slip while Jungkook watches closely, not really digging in on his own plate.
And as expected, the risotto’s annoyingly good. You didn’t doubt it from Jungkook, though. Being good at cooking was just one of the many qualities that made him so… so whatever.
“Okay, fine. I’m mildly impressed,” you comment, sipping on the wine to hide the small smile tugging at your mouth. Your very expression contradicts your words, and you know Jungkook can see through you.
He leans back in his chair, obviously satisfied. “Mildly?”
“You still missed your birthday dinner. That knocks off some points.”
He gives you a small smile. “I really didn’t expect it to be a birthday dinner, baby.”
You shrug off the nickname by having more bites of the risotto. You wonder if Jungkook was being deliberate when he said that, or if it was just going to be a thing between you now.
“You didn’t ask… and well, I was going to surprise you.” Now you pout at the memories of last night again. “There was chicken.”
Jungkook looks at you in surprise. “You cooked?”
You eye him. “Yeah, I scratched the tapes off the takeout boxes and put it in the microwave.” Jungkook laughs, the crinkles on the sides of his eyes showing. It makes you smile to see him like that. “Well,” you say eventually, “you’ve redeemed yourself a little.”
Jungkook leans in again, riding along, “Only a little?”
“We’ll see if there’s dessert.”
Jungkook smirks, and you both continue to eat.
After awhile, he glances at you. “You’re not mad,” he says, as if treading softly. “But… you were disappointed, right?”
You shake your head. “No. I just—” You see Jungkook raising a brow. “I just thought it’d be nice. I don’t want to make a big deal about it, it was your birthday! Now I feel bad ‘cause it’s like I’m making this all about me.” you chuckle at the realization.
You look at Jungkook when you realize he’s not really laughing with you.
You flinch a little when his hand reaches out to yours. His thumb caresses your knuckles as he tells you softly, “Hey, I know it would’ve been nice. I’m really sorry I missed it.”
“It’s fine…” it’s a good thing Jungkook lets go immediately.
But you find yourself wanting to share with him that you baked him a cake too. About the lingerie… but that felt stupid now. Wait, did he even get the cake you left at his porch this morning?
As if he read your mind, Jungkook suddenly rises up from his chair.
“Wait a second,” he walks past you, disappearing into the kitchen. He opens the fridge and comes back into view with a single slice of cake.
Your cake. The one you made for him.
You stare. “Is that—?”
“You left it outside my door this morning,” he says, placing it on the table. You blink up at him, mouth slightly open. “I thought I’d save it, you know? In case you ever stopped pretending you didn’t care.”
It felt a little pointed, but with the smile on his face you’re not really sure.
“You really don’t play fair.”
“Not trying to.” he says simply with a small smile before sitting again.
“So. Is this your apology routine? Fancy dinner, smooth jazz, and then hoping I forget you bailed?”
He smiles into his own glass of wine. “If I wanted you to forget, I wouldn’t have brought out the cake.”
You raise a brow. “You brought that out to make a point.”
“I did.”
“You’re kind of smug about it.”
“I’m good at making points,” he says, “Especially when someone keeps insisting nothing’s wrong.”
You frown, somehow not really liking the confirmation that he does think you’re making a big deal about this.
“I said I was fine.”
“You keep saying that,” his voice is quieter now, but a little edged. “But you’ve been smiling like it’s your job since you got here. And I know it’s not real.”
You recoil at that, not expecting to be called out. The sudden shift of the atmosphere is palpable as you lean back on the couch.
“What do you want me to say?” you let out a humorless chuckle. “That I was upset? You hurt my feelings?”
Jungkook’s expression changes, but his voice doesn’t falter. “I wanna know how you feel.”
You look away. “Do you want me to admit that maybe I cared more than I should?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you mean it.”
He leans forward, "I mean,” he starts, “that it wasn’t nothing. You made me dinner. You planned something for me. That’s not small. And I want you to know that I want to apologize when I make these mistakes.”
You don’t really think it through when you say, “It’s not like we’re together, Jungkook.”
That makes him pause. You can’t find it in you to take it back, because… it was true, right? The whole thing felt like… like you were a couple in a fight. And you aren’t.
“Still not an excuse.” he says after awhile.
You let out a breath, almost a laugh, frustrated. You wish Jungkook hadn’t brought it up, and you wish you aren’t reacting the way you are right now.
“You know, you didn’t seem bothered about it when we talked on the phone.”
“Because I thought you were okay.”
“Well, surprise,” you flash him a tight smile. “Turns out I’m not as chill as I thought.”
His voice lowers. “I never thought you were chill.” You can’t help but glance at him sharply. “I thought you were trying really hard to seem like you didn’t care, because maybe you thought I might not care back.”
That lands harder than it should, and you feel your throat tighten.
“I should go,” you stand up, not wanting to have any more of this conversation. You wish Jungkook would just drop it. You told him, you were upset – but he’s making a big deal about it.
Jungkook stands up too, stepping closer to you. His height looms over you, but his presence feels calm and collected.
“You could,” he says in that deep voice. “But you won’t.”
You take in a sharp breath when he presses until you can feel the heat of his body. You’re confused about the sudden turn of events, but there’s something about Jungkook right now, his voice dropping low, his gaze… almost as if…
“Oh?” you decide to challenge him, not wanting to waver.
“You stayed. And now you’re standing this close,” he says, gaze dropping to your mouth. “Looking like you want me to make you forget why you were upset in the first place.”
You swallow, suddenly feeling heated in that other way.
“A-and if I do?”
One hand brushes past your hip, and you stand there grounded, unconsciously holding your breath.
“Then you let me.”
You kiss him first – not really sure why and how it happened – but you do, on instinct. Wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your lips to his. It’s fast, and there’s frustration from you bubbling under, heat blooming behind your ribs like a fuse finally lit.
Jungkook kisses you back harder though, catching you on time – always catching you on time – walking you backwards into the living room where he lays you down on the couch, hovering over you.
His voice is rough against your skin when he breaks away to whisper, “Are you still upset?”
Your hands grip his shirt. “I would be if you don’t continue kissing me.”
That makes him smile, murmuring, “You’re a brat.”
“Do you like it?”
He inhales a sharp breath against your jaw, nipping. “I really do.”
In an instant, his hands were around your waist, your back pressed against the back of the sofa. Your breath hitches when his mouth drops to your ear, making your knees weaken slightly.
“Do you– do you kiss everyone you disappoint like this?” you mutter, hands sliding under his shirt where you feel his abs clench.
“No,” he says, lips peppering kisses down your neck, voice low. It sends shivers down your spine and makes your thighs clench together. “Just the ones who microwave chicken for me.”
It earns a chuckle from you – sharp, breathless – and tug the collar of his shirt, starting to undo his buttons until sculpted chest is revealed. You’re about to pull the material off him when Jungkook catches your wrist.
“Still upset?” he asks.
You click your tongue. “Maybe.”
He grins. “Good.”
He kisses you again. Slow this time, like he knows you’d let him now. And you do. Your fingers dig into his shoulder as he deepens it, tongue brushing yours in a way that makes your head fog over. He tastes like wine and smugness… but you find you like it. Jungkook moves in such a way that screams he knows exactly what he’s doing.
His shirt is off in a second, leaving him in his slacks and belt, mouth moving lower over your throat, your collarbone, until they reach your cleavage made easily accessible with the neckline of your camisole. You arch into the touch without much thinking, and when Jungkook whispers against the peak of your nipple if he could take your shirt off, you nod.
“Sorry, this isn’t my proudest bra ever,” you tell him, fingers slipping through his hair.
Jungkook chuckles. “I’m gonna take it off, anyway.”
He lifts you up effortlessly, squeezing your ass as you yelp but helping you wrap your legs around his waist. Before you can say anything, he shuts up with a searing hot kiss, and you let him carry you to the bedroom with ginger steps, like he’d done it a hundred times before in his head. God, you hope he did just like you do.
You don’t know how exactly it happened but your bra is off the moment he lowers you down on the bed, tugging the cups off your chest and letting his hand take reign on one boob while he licks the other one with his hot tongue, swirling it around your nipple that makes you gasp and shift on the bed.
“Oh, Jungkook…”
Crawling over you, you meet his heavy gaze as he asks, “Are you sure about this?”
If the heat in between your thighs is any more indication of how sure you are, he can check. But you tug him down by the waistband of his slacks to tell him, “I’ve been sure.”
“Just checking, because once we start…” he murmurs, gaze dropping on your lips. As if he can’t help it, he closes his mouth around yours. Then his hand slides down, feathery touch causing goosebumps all over your skin. It stops on your inner thigh where you take a sharp breath because he was so close to where you wanted him to be.
“I want you now,” you say, a bit irritated.
He chuckles, dark. Low. He retracts his hand and smirks when you give him a glare.
“I wanna take my time with you, sweetheart. Don’t rush me.”
To prove his point, he kisses you again – hot and passionate, but also aguishly slow like he’s savoring every brush of your tongue and he has all the time in the world for it.
You’re flushed beneath him, breathless as his hands wander all over your body. He nips the skin of your neck, obviously teasing, leaving goosebumps on his trail. When his hand cups the heat in between your legs, your hips unconsciously buck, your grip on his shoulders tightening at the contact.
“I should’ve come to dinner,” he murmurs, kissing the corner of your mouth.
“Y-yeah,” you manage, “you should’ve.”
“I can’t believe I missed this yesterday.”
You gasp when his thumb presses on your mound, feeling like you’ve been electrocuted by the touch. Jungkook seems to take note of your oversensitivity, as he watches you with your mouth hanging slightly open.
“Don’t worry, baby. I plan to make it up to you real good,” he leans back for a second to tug the waistband of your pants, and you don’t hesitate to lift yourself up a little to help him slide it off your legs together with your panties. You bite your bottom lip as you observe him watching the way the material clings to your pussy at the slickness. A smirk tugs at his lips. “I guess I’ve made you wait too long, didn’t I?”
Your reply dissolves into a sharp inhale as he puts two of his fingers in his mouth and wedges them in between your folds, leaning down to plant a kiss on your parted mouth. His fingers move inside you, curling in slow rhythm, his thumb teasing just enough to keep your hips lifting off the bed.
“You’re so soaked, and I haven’t even touched you properly yet,” he slowly slides them out, smirking when you whimper at the loss of contact. He inserts them again, this time taking on a steady pace. His fingers make you feel so full, just like they did back at the motel – and you wouldn’t dare lie to yourself and say you haven’t been looking forward to this again. By the way you can’t keep the soft moans escaping past your lips, Jungkook must’ve known too.
Slick sounds bounce off the wall, and you try to keep it to a minimum by minimizing your moans and pressing the back of your hand to your mouth but Jungkook catches your wrist quickly, as if he knew what you were about to do.
“No, baby, let me hear you,” he says, pinning your hand up against the headboard. “I want to know how much you want this, how much you like my fingers fitting right in your pussy,” he looks down, then unexpectedly, he brings his soaked digits up to your face. Your cheeks flush in embarrassment when you see how wet they are with your juices, whimpering when he inserts them in his mouth with no second thoughts, licking them obscenely. You whimper when he shuts his eyes close, looking intoxicated.
“Shit,” he hisses, “Tastes just as good as I remember it.”
“J-jungkook,” you whine, wanting him to do something already.
“I know,” he smirks, a little smug. “Should I go faster? Is that what you like?”
“Please…” you cry out, holding on to his wrist.
He chuckles darkly and just as when you were about to say something else again, he curls the same fingers in you, but this time he plunges them in and out at a faster pace. At that, you don’t hold back the moans you’ve been keeping trapped in your throat.
Legs tensing, Jungkook continues to fuck you with his fingers, moving like an expert; determined to make you fall apart – and you’re nothing but soft cries, heated, fingers tightening around his wrist as your orgasm creeps up your toes to your spine.
“F-fuck…” you sigh when Jungkook dives in your chest again, nipping and sucking at the flesh you were sure he was going to leave marks. “Feels so good, Koo…”
He hums against your skin, curling his fingers and digging in deep that your thighs shake uncontrollably. But Jungkook’s hold on your hip is firm, not enough to hurt, but enough to keep you from thrashing underneath him at the overwhelming pleasure.
“Yeah? You’re making such a mess on my hand, baby,” he husks out.
“S-sorry.”
He chuckles. “You’re beautiful,” He breaks away from your tits to stare at you. Moving away some of the hair that has gotten on your face, he says, “Are you close?”
“Yes, god, yes. Please, I’m so close…”
You can feel yourself about to reach your climax, so you move your hand to seek relief to your clit. But Jungkook catches you off-guard when he moves further down your body. You let out a lewd moan when he licks along your slit, sucking in your folds – your juices making a wet, spongy sound as he slurps. When he closes his mouth around your clit, you cry out and grab his hair quite harshly.
But Jungkook only hums against your pussy, the vibration only making you drip more. He ravishes your nub with his tongue, quick and steady, and so are his fingers in and out of your pussy.
“Oh my god,” you moan, body convulsing at your impending orgasm, shutting your eyes close and focusing on the way his tongue tugs at your clit. “Kook, I’m coming, fuck, I’m gonna cum—”
He pulls off with a smack only to tell you “in my mouth” before going back to business again. You listen to his small grunts, his hums, and until then, you feel your body spasming when the coil at your stomach breaks.
Jungkook puts his hand on your lower stomach, pressing you down as you wriggle underneath him, thighs shaking at your orgasm. He licks until you’re pulling his head out of your mound. He takes his fingers out of your spongy walls, spreading your wetness instead around your folds, as if calming you down from your high.
“Good, baby, good…” he murmurs, gripping your thighs to steady you. Then he leans down and presses kisses over them.
You let your back relax on the mattress, shutting your eyes close and catching your breath.
You hear a drawer pull open, and when you finally open your eyes, you see Jungkook with a condom pinched in between his fingers.
“I’m not done with you yet,” Jungkook skates his fingers through his hair, and you suddenly got the urge to jump him right then and there when you saw the sheer wetness on his jaw, his sculpted chest and the abdominal muscles that sit perfectly on his stomach, his tattoo sleeve – he looked like an absolute dream then, but you knew you were in for a ride when your eyes cast a look at the erection inside his slacks. Jungkook makes quick work of unbuckling his leather belt, and the way the metal clink with each other scratches a part of your brain that screams want, want, want and maybe Jungkook caught on, because he follows your gaze to the belt, clicking his tongue when he throws the leather away somewhere on the floor.
“Next time, sweet girl,” he says, sounding like he meant it. You can feel your cheeks heating under his gaze and the implication of his words, chest pounding as he unbuttons and unzips his pants together with his boxers.
“I…” You watch in quiet fascination when his rock hard dick slaps against his lower abdomen, biting your lip at the sight. It was just as long and girthy as you remember it.
He hums. “You want to play next time, we’ll do that. But eyes up here first,” Jungkook instructs, and you do look at him when he says so, feeling your legs clamping together at his slightly commanding tone. He tugs your legs to pull you closer to the edge of the bed, and so you lift off the mattress slightly and rest your elbows against the soft sheets. Jungkook smiles at you as he kneels between your spread legs, “You look beautiful like this, baby. Do you know how much I’ve been wanting to do this?” he asks as he rips open the condom, pinching the tip and putting it over his cock in quick succession.
“I’ve been waiting for you…” you say, not really sure what you mean, touching his chest because you can. He’s so warm and so big, and your pussy aches at the thought of him finally entering you.
It felt greedy, to want to cum again when you just did not even a full minute ago.
“I know,” he strokes his cock for good measure, and you let out a soft gasp when he hikes your leg over his hip, nudging your other leg to the side. He inserts a finger in your pussy, hissing at your wetness. “Fuck, you are soaked, baby…”
“Put it in,” You whine, chest heaving up and down as you watch Jungkook with half-lidded eyes. His hand wraps around his dick, strokes it for a moment before gripping near the tip and bringing it closer to your aching heat.
You moan when the first inch of his cock goes in, mouth gaping at the intrusion. Jungkook’s eyebrows knit as he adjusts your leg higher on his hip, pushing deeper.
“Look at me,” he instructs, “You can take it, right, baby? You’re so wet, so pretty…”
“I– yes, yes– shit,” you let out a shaky breath, “you’re s-so big, fuck,”
“You’re taking it so well,” he murmurs, voice low and dripping with honey. He gives a gentle, almost subtle thrust that almost knocks you out of the bed.
“Yes, yes, fuck… give it to me, Kook, I want you so bad…”
“Yeah? I’m gonna move in a sec, angel, play with your tits for me.”
You nod your head and do as told, letting your hands wander all over your body before fondling your breasts, moaning instantly at the pleasure.
“Tell me if it hurts,” is what he says before he slips an arm beneath your waist, holding you up, a shudder escaping past his lips when he slowly pushes more past your tight walls. You choke out a moan, a broken sob coming out of it when he finally bottoms out inside of you.
“Ah…”
He hisses, fingers digging at your waist as he withdraws from your heat and only the tip of his cock is in you, the scene with it sitting on your soaked pussy enough to send him into an overdrive.
“You’re so fucking tight holy fuck,” he seethes, forcefully snapping his hips back into you and finally picking up a pace that makes you whimper and cry out pathetic little moans, mind becoming fuzzy at the thrusts of his cock in your entrance.
Your walls clench at the glide of his cock against you, feeling him falter at the little stunt. But you can’t help it. Your body is on fire as Jungkook lets out a guttural groan, pulling you flush against his cock until the thin hairs around the base of his dick are tickling your skin. Your elbow shake as it loses balance, but Jungkook is quick to catch you just on time, leaning down to hover over your body, but it only makes the angle of his fuck deeper, and maybe he meant to do that too.
Your hands are quick to wrap around his shoulders as you feel the tip of his cock prodding against your cervix like he’s going all out, your hips jumping as he rams back inside.
He repeats the movement like a graceful dancer, thrusts deep and purposeful, pulling out wailing sounds from you you begin to worry if the neighbors could hear. He tucks his head against your neck and presses a kiss on the junction between your neck and shoulder, rocking his hips into you, pistoning into your squelching heat. His body is so close, so warm, sweaty skin gliding against yours.
“Fuck, fucking hell, baby – fuck, you feel so good,” Jungkook growls, finding your mouth and kissing you again. His hips snaps back into you once again, and you both swallow each other’s moans at the contact, letting your bodies rock to the sound of your fucking. His hand is on your chest immediately, squeezing everywhere until it settles on pinching your nipple between his fingers.
“Jungkook– ah, baby— fuckkkkk,” You shudder, feeling your pussy quiver at every snap and every withdrawal, and when he brings his hand to your clit and rubs it in quick circles, you screw your eyes shut, feeling that familiar wave again for the second time that night.
“Jungkook–”
“You’re gonna be a good girl and come for me, sweet girl?” Jungkook rasps out, sweaty forehead coming into view as he jackhammers into your pussy with ease, welcomed by your never-ending slick. You never thought you’d see Jungkook like that, fucking like a crazed caveman, looking like he can’t get enough but also straining himself a bit to not hurt you – because of course he wouldn’t.
“Fuck me harder, Kook, I need it– need you to… need you to—”
“Yeah?” he rocks harder, faster just like you said, and you can honestly start to feel the slight pain on your chest as they bounce at the speed, your hand flying to grab at your chest.
“I’m so close,” you cry out, unconsciously reaching for him and feeling like you’re on edge. Jungkook takes your hand and encloses it around his, thrusting into you once again before whispering against your skin to let go.
As if that was a magic phrase, you feel something inside you snap.
“Good girl, I knew you’d come for me, you always do,” Jungkook slurs. You could feel your cum dribbling out of your pussy, creaming his cock, but Jungkook continues ramming himself past your clenched lips and into your spasming hole, grunting against your skin, mouth leaving random, open-mouthed kisses.
He drills on, and his cock still feels so achingly hard, seemingly not anywhere near completion yet. You’re nearly mush beneath him from your current release, but you push through it as you press your hands to his chest, forceful enough to send him tumbling a little. He’s caught off-guard by that, and you take that to your advantage as you maneuver yourself to push him completely on his back, his cock sliding out of you.
He bounces off the mattress a little, looking at you curiously as you straddle his waist. Your sensitive pussy shudders at the cold of the AC in his room, and you feel like your bones have been liquefied, but you don’t let that deter you from taking ahold of his still, indeed, hard cock and sitting on it.
Jungkook inhales a sharp breath as he watches you bounce on his cock, the head disappearing and appearing in your entrance, like a show he would want to replay over and over again. And you’re determined, stretching your body and leaning back to rest your palms on his thighs for support as you take his dick, switching to a back and forth motion.
“Oh, Jungkook, god – oh my god,” and although it was supposed to be for him – for him to cum – you can honestly feel yourself about to snap again, especially when Jungkook reaches forward to rub your tit, caressing your tattoo underneath with that hungry look in his eyes, and settling on your hips like he’s enjoying the little show you’re putting up for him.
“That’s it baby, bounce on my cock – you’re doing so we…ll,” he encourages, but there’s a slight break to his tone at the end. “Shit, keep going – fuck. I’m so fucking close– you look so good,”
You swallow the saliva trapped in your throat to pick up your pace, feeling lightheaded at the overwhelming feeling of his cock prodding against your cervix everytime you go forth. His dick brushes past your clit everytime you move, and you throw your head back when you feel him starting to thrust upward.
“Are you close again, baby?” Jungkook asks, gripping your hips tight as he meets your ministration. You bite your lip at the question, only whimpering when Jungkook bucks his hips harshly. “Cum for me a third time, pretty girl. Cum with me.”
“Jungkook, I can’t, I’m so sensitive. I–”
“You can, angel. And you will.”
You mewl when Jungkook reaches for your pussy with his other hand, quickly finding your clit to rub against it again, and that pushes you to the edge quickly – orgasm snapping on an instant just like that.
Jungkook’s hips stutter, breath caught in between a curse and your name, like the sound of you undid him completely. It was a sound that you heard three days ago when he came in your mouth.
“Fucking hell,” he hisses, hips faltering at his orgasm. “Shit…”
You drop your body unceremoniously onto him, the exhaustion hitting you all at once.
Wrapping his hands around your body very gently, you feel Jungkook kissing the side of your head, making you shut your eyes close.
“Jesus.” you blurt out, whole body spent.
“Didn’t know you were religious like that…” He says with a chuckle, caressing your hair mindlessly.
You snap your head quickly to look at him at the familiar words, narrowing your eyes. Jungkook only presses a kiss to your shoulder as if that was some sort of apology, and you let it go with a playful shake of your head.
“Do you still feel bad about missing dinner?” You ask with a smile on your face.
He let out a low laugh, and the vibration through his chest feels warm against your skin.
“I’m working on making it up to you.”
“Does it really involve making me cum three times in a single night?” you arch your brow. “I think you’re overcompensating.”
Jungkoo gives you a nonchalant shrug. “Maybe.”
And before you can say anything, he flips you over and kisses you again, which makes you giggle into his mouth.

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#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook imagines#jungkook scenarios#jungkook fanfic#bts smut#bts fluff#bts fic#p; writing#fic: nb#awrkive
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Soulmate(s) | Part 3



Genre: smut, angst, fluff
Word Count: 11.3k
Summary: In a world where you get the name of your soulmate tattooed on your skin the night you turn 21, there should be no reason to even think about fucking around with anyone else. Why would you when you know that the perfect person who is made just for you is somewhere out there waiting for you to find them?
So how the hell did you end up messing around with your two best friends and what are you going to do if neither of them ends up being your soulmate or worse, what if one of them is your soulmate?
Warnings: fem!reader, soulmates au, this is not a light fic, there will be backstabbing and manipulation, sub!soobin, dom!soobin, sub!gyu, dom!gyu, switch!gyu, switch!soobin, handjob, cunnilingus, blowjob, tit-fucking, cumming all over oc lol, use of fleshlight/vibrator, somno
Bit by bit, the boys convince you to go further, telling you that two of you are bound to be soulmates and that since you all like each other so much anyway, there would be no harm in sharing for a little bit–to explore this new intimate side to your friendship before the official reveal, and that because you all cherish each other so much, that there would be no hard feelings when the third person eventually has to gracefully step back and seek out their own soulmate after having had this unforgettable, almost sacred experience with the people closest to them in the world. It would all turn out fine if you just keep it lowkey.
That would all be good and well were you one of the boys, but as it stands, you still find yourself holding back due to your persisting sense of unease about the taboo situation and the possible fallout despite their nonchalant reassurances, and you naturally find that you’re not experimenting with them as often as they are with each other. It’s easy to proclaim that none of you would have hard feelings when you’re not the one being left out while the other two grow closer and closer each day.
You know you have no right to feel jealous. You’re the one holding yourself back while the boys have been nothing but welcoming and enthusiastic about your participation, but you just don’t understand how they can be so chill about this. First of all, what you were doing was highly frowned upon and you’d get a lot of flack if this were to get out to others. Second of all, someone is bound to get hurt no matter what they say, and you have a bad feeling it will end up being you if the way they’ve been acting so lovey-dovey with each other is any indication.
Just like they are right now.
You have just woken up and headed to the kitchen to grab something to eat, pulled there by the delicious smell of pancakes cooking, but before you can step fully in and announce your presence, you see the two boys in each other’s arms–or more like Soobin in Beomgyu’s arms as the older boy tried to cook the pancakes while the other wraps his arms around his waist and teasingly jerks him off.
“I’m seriously going to burn this.” Soobin complains, struggling to keep his eyes open and his attention on the stove in front of him.
“That’s okay. We’ll just grab breakfast outside.” Beomgyu brushes him off, kissing his neck, but Soobin still resists. “The fire alarm will wake her up.”
Your heart flutters at the mention of you–at least Soobin is thinking of you, right? How pathetic–but then Beomgyu chuckles. “Let it. Her lazy ass should be awake anyway.”
You frown. Fucking asshole.
“She’ll kick our asses.” Soobin hisses as Beomgyu brushes his palm over the head of his cock, his knees buckling at the pleasure.
“Aw, you’re scared of her. Don’t worry, baby, I’ll protect you.” Beomgyu purrs, quickening his pace on the older boy’s cock and tearing a loud moan from him. “Just shut up about her and focus on me.”
Fucking asshole, you repeat in your head. Well, if he’s so intent on excluding you, you won’t let him.
You announce your presence with a fake gagging sound, and both boys’ heads whip towards you, Soobin looking as if he was caught red-handed while Beomgyu maintains a smirk on his face.
“Do I really have to wake up to this first thing in the morning?” You ask sourly, pretending to be disgusted at the display to hide your jealousy. What the hell did Beomgyu mean by telling Soobin to shut up about you? Isn’t it enough that they’re doing this without you? Now he wants to banish the mention of your name too? What is he playing at?
Oh, there you go again acting crazy over their close relationship with each other. This is exactly why this whole thing was a bad idea. Even though the three of you are very close friends, you were the third and last addition to the friendship. They had been friends for years before Soobin clumsily and literally stumbled into your life and dragged Beomgyu along with him, and even though you’d all been close since then and the boys never said or did anything outright to give you the impression that they favoured the other, you always secretly knew that you could never compete with the special bond they have with each other and that you’ll have to content yourself with being the unspoken third wheel in this friendship. Which is fine, you’ve had years to come to terms with it, but now you have to deal with being the third wheel in this illicit threeway too, and you don’t know if your heart and ego can take it.
“What’s wrong with this? You don’t like what you’re seeing?” Beomgyu teases, continuing to pump Soobin’s dick despite the other boy’s embarrassment. Not that he makes any effort to stop him. He just bites his lips and averts his eyes away from you.
You do. You do like what you’re seeing, but sadly it also fills you with unbridled jealousy and feelings of inadequacy.
“Not near my food. I don’t want cum splatter on my pancakes.” You hold onto your scowl, and Beomgyu laughs. “Fair enough.”
He puts Soobin’s cock back in his pants before petting it teasingly, making the other boy whine. “We’ll finish this later, baby.”
Beomgyu washes his hands and sets the dishes down while Soobin finishes up the last of the pancakes before making his way to the table, awkwardly struggling with his prominent boner that bunches up his sweatpants comically.
Unfortunately, even with you sitting there at the table, they are still all over each other, chatting away about their plans for the day and what they have been up to. They try to keep you engaged and ask you questions but it’s hard for you to match their energy this early in the morning, especially when your mood has already been soured. You just sit there and listen to them talk each other’s ears off about this new album released by an artist they both like but you’re indifferent to, and all the hidden meanings behind his lyrics that throw back to previous songs only true fans will know.
You feel completely isolated from them and it is only made worse by how touchy they’re being with each other, patting each other on the head affectionately or reaching forward to give a playful shove in jest or even just the way their bodies naturally lean close to the other person when they’re speaking. It fucking hurt your heart.
To be fair to them, they try to include you too. Soobin makes sure to look at you when he’s talking so you can feel involved in the conversation and Beomgyu has one of his arms permanently draped around the back of your chair in a semi-embrace, but still isn’t the same. And soon your jealousy and annoyance reach their peak.
“Oh, hyung, this is so delicious! Have a taste.” Beomgyu holds up a piece of whipped cream covered strawberry but when Soobin leans in to try to have a bite, Beomgyu moves his hand and smears the whipped cream over his cheek, laughing.
“Really, Beomgyu?” Soobin pouts, looking painfully adorable.
“Sorry, hyung. You’re just so fun to mess with. Here, let me clean you up.” Beomgyu cradles Soobin’s face and brushes the whipped cream off with his thumb, but instead of wiping it on some tissues, he pushes it past Soobin’s plush lips and into his mouth, making the older boy suck it off.
“There. How does it taste?” He asks, eyes dark as he watches Soobin suck on his finger.
“Beommie.” Soobin slurs, “Stop teasing.”
“I’m not teasing.” Beomgyu denies, biting his lip, making Soobin huff and pull him into a heated kiss, obviously still affected by what happened earlier.
God this must be your own personal hell for agreeing to this diabolical deal. The boys look so fucking hot kissing each other mere inches from you but the sight also breaks your heart as you’re left seemingly forgotten once agin.
Are they going to end up together?
You don’t want to be the one left out. Is it horrible to admit that? But if two of you end up together, the third gets left behind—and you’re scared it’ll be you. You don’t want that to be you. They fit together so easily, like they were made for each other. How are you supposed to compete with that?
You know Beomgyu is largely the instigator in this but Soobin is also much more receptive to his advances than you have been. You know you shouldn’t feel resentful and jealous since you're not making it any better for yourself either but you can’t stop yourself from getting pissed off at Beomgyu. If the pervert could just hold back a little bit, then you wouldn’t always feel so left out. Soobin at least has the decency to shy away from flaunting in front of you, but Beomgyu doesn’t seem to care if you’re there or not. In fact it seems as if he gets a kick out of riling you up.
God, how you want to punish him for it… well, why don’t you? You’re part of this relationship too, no matter how neglected you’ve been. You’ll show him.
You reach forward, grabbing onto Beomgyu shirt and yanking him back, disconnecting them and pulling him towards you instead. He barely gets any chance to react before your lips are on his.
They are not as pliable as Soobin’s. You don’t allow him any control over the kiss, making it clear right away that you’re the one in charge, and your bruised heart is somewhat soothed when he gives in immediately, opening his mouth and letting you push your tongue in.
“Do you ever not think with your dick?” You hiss when you pull back for breath and he has the audacity to smile.
“Sorry, princess, I am just so horny.” He tells you shamelessly and you scowl. “And so bad. Maybe you need to be punished.”
He wears a shit-eating grin, his eyes glinting with excitement. “Oh, kinky.”
______________________
He wasn’t so excited now. Not when he was bound to a chair and forced to watch you pleasure Soobin the way you've been metaphorically bound and forced to watch them love on each other.
He tries to voice his displeasure, tries to whine but he can't say much when your panties are stuffed in his mouth, shutting him up for once. You can see how pissed off he is and if he can talk, you're sure he would chew you both out like he was before you had the bright idea to shut him up. Beomgyu loved being the centre of attention. He wanted both of you to dote on him and he hated seeing you play with each other and ignore him–but it is exactly this, giving him a taste of his own medicine, that gives you immense pleasure.
Beomgyu writhes in his seat, grunting unhappily as he tries to break free of his restraints, his hips bucking into thin air.
“Calm down, Beommie. You're gonna hurt yourself.” You tell him, actually concerned, and he glares at you, fighting against his restraints harder.
Are you taking it too far? Is he actually upset?
Scared to ruin your tentative relationship, you reach forward to finally touch him–needing to prove to yourself that he doesn’t actually hate you, and as soon as your fingers brush his nipples, his back arches and he moans out from behind his gag pathetically.
“Fuck, baby, you’re so sensitive.” You tease, relieved, and he glares at you again but this time the intensity is tempered by the pleasure.
“Yeah, does that feel good, baby?” You coo, pulling lightly at his nipple and watching as his cock twitches and leaks precum, the sight of it making you rub your legs together in need. Fuck, you wanted him, and he wanted you too.
He whimpers behind the makeshift gag and stares at you with big pleading brown eyes that make you weak. Fuck, why did he have to look so pretty?
“Fine, I'll be nice even though you don't deserve it.” You sigh, and instruct Soobin to get you your toy box from under your bed. He scampers away quickly to get it and for the two whole minutes he is away, Beomgyu does his best impression of a kicked puppy, whining and whimpering for you to give him some attention.
“Damn, baby, relax. I said I’ll be nice.” You laugh, acting decidedly not nice as you kiss and nip at the skin of his thighs, so close to his cock, you can feel it almost bursting with need, and by the time Soobin comes back with your box, you’ve already left a few marks on his pretty skin which Soobin eyes up with envy for a second before their attention is quickly drawn to the item you pull out from the box.
“Woah, why do you have this?” Soobin asks as you brandish a fleshlight, and you grin. “I got it to take care of my horny boys because I know you’re both just dying for a warm wet hole to stick your dicks into. Why, you wanna give it a try?” You ask Soobin but he surprises you by shaking his head no.
“No. Want you.” He says meekly and you frown. “Soobin. You know I can't actually fuck you.”
“I know but…” He trails off, silently brushing his fingers between your thighs, and realization dawns on you. “Oh you naughty boy. You wanna fuck my thighs?”
He nods eagerly and you laugh. “I suppose you can. It's dirty but I don't see why not.”
You turn towards Beomgyu, leaning forward so that your tits are hovering over his lap as you arch your back towards Soobin, letting him put his legs on either side of yours and push his cock between your thighs.
“Oh.” You bite your lip, making eye contact with Beomgyu as Soobin's dick glides under your pussy as it moves in and out between your thighs.
Beomgyu really doesn't look happy about being left out and you suppose you’ve tortured him enough. After all, you don’t actually want him to have a bad experience and ruin this for yourself even more. You gotta keep him happy too.
“Don't give me that look.” You roll your eyes at him, gathering some of your spit in your mouth before letting it spill onto his cock, relishing in the sharp intake of breath he takes and the way his thighs tense as it makes contact. You then place the fleshlight at the head of his cock and slip it over it just slightly, teasing him.
You hear a growl rise from deep in his chest and you laugh, pumping only the head of his cock, continuing to tease him. You have to admit it brings you a sick sense of pleasure to torture him like this when he's done nothing but drive you crazy lately. You want him to fall apart for you. You want to prove that he can want you as much as he wants Soobin.
“Is it good, Beommie?” You taunt, your words coming out broken as Soobin fucks your thighs. Beomgyu's eyes narrow, staring at Soobin’s hands that were fondling your tits, and you grin with satisfaction. He’s the one feeling left out now. “Binnie’s having the time of his life fucking me and playing with my tits while Beommie’s all tied up, huh? Poor baby.”
He angrily jerks in his seat again, trying to free himself, but the sudden movement causes him to bottom out into the fleshlight, his ass falling backwards into the seat as he mewls at the sudden pleasure. Deciding you’ve been mean enough, you move your arm to continue to fuck his dick all the way with the fleshlight, and before long he was too delirious to fight anymore, his head lolling back at the pleasure and his hips shaking as he struggles to meet your fast pace.
“There you go, Beommie. Does that feel good on your needy dick?” You ask, your voice suddenly rising in pitch as Soobin grabs your nipples and pulls on them more roughly as his hips smack against your ass harder and faster. “Pay attention to me. I thought he was the one being punished.”
“He is. You’re the one getting to play with me however you want while he’s stuck fucking a plastic toy. Don’t be greedy, Binnie.” You chide him breathlessly, but you secretly love every bit of it. You love to have them fight over you. It soothes both your ego and your worries about being left in the dust.
“You’re right. I'm the one who gets to do this.” Soobin says, pulling you up by the shoulders so you're sat upright instead of leaning over Beomgyu before he pulls your shirt up to expose your breasts to Beomgyu’s hungry eyes as he flicks the nipples and kisses your neck. “Beommie must be dying to do this. He talks about your tits a lot.”
Beomgyu narrows his eyes at him in warning but Soobin doesn't care. “Yeah, what does he say about them?”
“That he can't wait to fuck them.” He says, pushing them together to give Beomgyu a good show. He was teasing him and you’re living for it. “Says that sometimes when we're sleeping in the same bed, your tits would fall out of your tank top and he'd have to hold himself back from climbing on top of you and fucking them until you wake up with his cum in your hair.”
You gasp, pressing your thighs closer together at Soobin's brazen revelation of Beomgyu's dirty fantasies. Your pussy flutter and drips onto Soobin's cock as he rams it between your thighs while you watch Beomgyu desperately fucking into the fleshlight in your hand, unfazed by Soobin spilling his secret fantasies to you.
“Yeah, and what about you? I could feel your big, hard cock pressed against my ass every morning. Don't think you’re slick either.” You say and Soobin chuckles, pushing you back onto Beomgyu. You almost crash into his lap as Soobin palms your asscheeks in his big hands. “Yeah, wanna fuck your ass. That's not a secret. Me and Beomgyu wanna plug you from both ends.”
Fuck. When did Soobin get so confident? Was all that was needed was to tie and gag Beomgyu in order to let Soobin's freak flag fly?
“Do it then, baby.” You take the fleshlight off Beomgyu's dick, ignoring his muffled protests, and put it between your legs, offering it to Soobin to simulate him fucking you, and he is too far gone to think about it twice, immediately pushing his cock into it with a loud moan.
“Yesss.” He hisses, hips picking up pace quickly, rocking your body back and forth to the point where you struggle to get your mouth on Beomgyu. So you grab his dick with your free hand and guide it towards you, finally taking it in and making the boy cry out at the sudden warmth surrounding his aching cock.` ~
Once he’s in your mouth, Soobin’s savage thrusts serve to push you over Beomgyu’s cock over and over again, at times making you gag on the other boy’s length, the tightening of your throat making him shake in pleasure as he meets your mouth with his desperate thrusts that choke even harder. But despite your dwindling air supply and the soreness of both your jaw and ass, you stay put, soldiering through it to fulfill the boys’ dirty fantasies and secure your spot in this ill-advised relationship.
“Fuck–fuck–I’m close. Gonna cum inside you.” Soobin slurs, deep grunts are turning to breathy moans as his hips lose their rhythm and his large hands grasp onto your ass to push you backwards to meet his hips.
“Do it, baby.” You take your mouth off Beomgyu and replace it with your hand, maddeningly slowing your pace down on him to focus on Soobin.
“Fill me up, Binnie. I need it bad.” You say sweetly, though your smile is anything but as you stare up at Beomgyu and watch him whimper and cry at having his own orgasm stolen from him.
“I’m cumming. Take it, baby.” Soobin cries out, lost in his pleasure as he cums inside the fleshlight.
When his frantic thrusts still, you pull the fleshlight off him, taking care not to spill any of his seed. You hold it up for Beomgyu to see, pushing two of your fingers inside and pumping them in a few times, coating your finger’s in Soobin white cum before you pull them out, brandishing them for Beomgyu to see.
“Fuck, please.” He whimpers when you pull your underwear from his mouth but you quickly replace it with your fingers.
“Taste it, baby. It’s delicious.” You mock his previous words and Beomgyu’s pretty lashes hang heavy with unshed tears. He obediently licks them clean for you, even sitting still while you push your fingers to the back of his throat and make him gag on them until the tears finally fall from his eyes.
When you pull them back out, trailing a string of saliva behind them, Beomgyu pleads, “Please. I’m going insane. Please.”
“Aww, poor Beommie… I’ve been so cruel to you, haven’t I?” You taunt him, patting his cheek with your dirty hand and he nods. “You wanna cum now?”
He nods again. You grin and bring the still cum filled fleshlight to his cock, pushing it down on his length and fucking him rapidly–Soobin’s thick, white cum covering his cock in seconds.
“Oh–Oh, fuck… yeah, just like that. Please, don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.” He cries, but your evil laugh is quickly cut off when you feel a hand sneak between your legs, and look back to see Soobin grin as he rubs your sopping pussy.
“Want you to cum too.” He tells you and you bite your lip, annoyed at him for undermining your moment of control and at yourself for how close you feel already, but you can’t keep that energy up for long because the pleasure quickly overcomes you after you’ve been on edge and neglecting yourself for so long. You frantically jerk off Beomgyu while you hump Soobin’s hand–the obscene wet noises from your activities filling the room.
“Yes–yes–yes! Thank you!” Beomgyu screams, lifting his ass as far off the chair as he can as he bottoms out into the fleshlight, cumming and almost falling over in the process. You’re not far behind him, gasping as your legs shake and you struggle to stay up, the pleasure almost blinding you for a second.
By the time you all calm down, you’re all sweaty and dirty and achy but utterly blissed out.
“Fuck, that was awesome.” Soobin laughs as he undoes Beomgyu’s restraints.
“It was.” Beomgyu agrees, massaging his red wrists and ankles, “Next time, I get to tie one of you up.”
“No way, freak.” You shudder. You hate to think what the perv would make you go through if he ever got you helpless in his hands. “Not happening.”
He pouts. “Well, that’s just unfair.”
“Tough shit.” You roll your eyes, standing up and heading to the bathroom to take a long hot shower.
__________________
Even after doing all of that, you still can’t keep up with them. They’ve thrown themselves into this headfirst, as if the best-case scenario doesn’t end with someone’s heart in pieces, and you can’t bring yourself to do the same.
The relationship has gone beyond just sex. You all go on dates together now, but it still feels like you’re constantly vying for their attention. They move in sync, seamless in a way that makes you feel like an outsider in your own relationship. The inside jokes, the shared glances, the unspoken understanding between them—it gnaws at you, eating you from the inside.
Today is no exception.
This café used to be your favorite. The three of you had spent countless afternoons here—studying, venting, just existing together. It is very dear to your heart, almost like a second home. But today, it is anything but. Today, you find yourself wishing to be anywhere else.
You fiddle with your bracelet absently as the waiter arrives. Beomgyu orders without hesitation—his usual iced americano, your caramel macchiato, and—
“Strawberry matcha for Soobin,” he says easily, handing over the menus.
Your fingers pull at the bracelet, almost snapping it.
What?
“Since when does Soobin like matcha?” you asked, surprised, and a bit annoyed by how Beomgyu had made the order so casually as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Soobin hated matcha. He always said it tasted like grass so why was Beomgyu now acting like he's been a matcha connoisseur for years.
You don't know why you’re fixated on that small, insignificant detail but it just felt like yet another thing you weren't included in.
“Oh, since we tried that new shop, remember?” Beomgyu tells you offhandedly as if you should already know. He laughs loudly and nudges Soobin playfully, an unspoken joke between them.
“Ugh, don't remind me.” Soobin groans, hiding behind his hands, and your eyes flit between Soobin’s embarrassed expression and Beomgyu’s teasing one.
“What, what happened?” You fake a laugh, trying to sound casual, trying to be included.
“We almost got kicked out. You don't remember?” Beomgyu frowns then his eyes draw up in realization and he brushes the back of his neck sheepishly. “Oh right. You weren’t there.”
“No I wasn’t.” You don’t mean for your voice to come out bitter but you couldn’t help it. You clear your throat and try to cover your slip up with a tight smile. “What happened? Why did you almost get kicked out?”
Soobin flushes, ears burning, his eyes still on Beomgyu. “Someone couldn’t keep his hands to himself.”
“No, someone couldn’t keep quiet.” Beomgyu retorts, putting a hand on Soobin’s thigh, making the older boy shift shyly and push his hand away.
“Stop it! You’re gonna get us kicked out again.” He whines lowly and Beomgyu bites his lip and regards him with a hungry look as if he could just eat him up right then and there.
You wish you would get kicked out so you don’t have to bear witness to your own heartbreak like this. You have been here with them many times before and you're sick of it. Each time it feels like they’re slipping away from you more and more, and you’re left chasing after their mirage.
“That sounds like fun,” you mutter, your smile fighting for its life to stay on your lips. “What else did I miss while you two were off without me?”
There was a slight hitch in Beomgyu’s smile, like he recognized the edge in your voice, but if he did he quickly masks it with his usual charm.
“Oh, you didn’t miss much, really,” Beomgyu said, his tone remarkably casual. “Soobin just likes matcha now. That’s all.” Then he attempts to lighten up the mood, “Though I have trouble even calling what he drinks matcha. It’s all dessert flavoured processed crap that barely resembles real matcha.”
“Oh, wow, we got a matcha supremacist over here. Not my fault, that's the only tolerable way to drink that stuff.” Soobin says defensively, but there was a fondness in his voice. He reaches out and lightly punches Beomgyu's arm, making Beomgyu let out a genuine laugh–not like the uncomfortable ones they’ve been putting on for you.
You force a chuckle, but it rings hollow even to your own ears. You want to be part of this—to be in this relationship—but every shared glance, every effortless laugh, every unspoken understanding between them only makes you feel more and more like an outsider.
“Yeah, well maybe I’d like it too if it tasted like my caramel iced coffee.” You try to joke but the words fall flat. The boys still offer you half-hearted smiles, but they don’t quite reach their eyes.
Soobin’s smile falters—just for a second—before he masks it with something warm, something reassuring. Beomgyu’s gaze softens, like he wants to say something but can’t find the words. They exchange a glance, that unspoken connection flaring between them, and then Beomgyu finally speaks.
“Next time, we’ll definitely bring you along.” Soobin tells you, and Beomgyu nods, “Definitely… but maybe we’ll keep the fun at home this time.”
You watch as Beomgyu leans in towards Soobin, a teasing lilt in his voice, reveling in the way Soobin laughs shyly.
They’re in their own world. And you’re just standing outside of it.
“Yeah, sounds good,” You mutter, unsure if they even hear you.
__________________________
You couldn’t stand back and watch them anymore. It was slowly driving you insane. You are always the third wheel, always trailing behind, and soon, you feared, you’d be forgotten entirely.
So, you decided to take matters into your own hands.
If you can’t break into their world when they are together, then maybe you can when they are apart. If you can’t compete with them as a pair, then maybe you had a chance if you split them up. Maybe it’s not playing fair, but the thought of standing by while they fell into each other and leave you behind, makes your skin crawl.
Nobody knows how the soulmate thing works. Maybe it wasn’t just fate—maybe it depended on the bonds formed before the tattoos appeared, and that by standing by and letting yourself be pushed out of the relationship, you’re undermining your own chance at a happy ending.
No, you can’t let that happen. You have to act now, or risk being left behind forever.
You start small—little things, easy to overlook. You laugh a little louder when Beomgyu makes a joke, speak a little softer when Soobin needs quiet. You’re the one who reminds them of plans they’ve made, the one who fills the silence when things go tense. You begin showing up with little things—Soobin’s favorite tea when he’s stressed, a new hair tie for Beomgyu when he forgets his (again). You slip notes into their bags, nothing big—just dumb doodles, inside jokes, gentle reminders that you’re thinking of them. You find yourself sitting between them on the couch, brushing shoulders with one of them, draping your legs over the other's lap during lazy movie nights.
Bit by bit, you carve out your place within theirs, until the silence between their conversations starts to include you, until their glances begin to seek yours. You weren’t naive. It wasn’t enough for them to care about you—they had to want you, need you, in ways they couldn’t find in each other..
Still, it was rare to catch either of them alone, but your first opportunity came when all three of you had the day off. Beomgyu had errands to run that morning, leaving you with the perfect chance to have Soobin all to yourself, even if just for a couple of hours.
Beomgyu didn’t make it easy, though. You had woken up—not just from the sound of him moving around and getting ready in the morning, but because you were waiting. Waiting for the moment he was gone so you could finally make your move on the still-sleeping Soobin.
But Beomgyu, noticing you were already awake, didn’t leave right away. Instead, he lingered, trying to convince you to come with him instead.
"You wanna come with me?" Beomgyu asked, trying to make his voice sound cute as he gives you his signature exaggerated pout. Normally, it was an infuriating mix of annoying and endearing, but right now, it was just annoying. You had a plan, and you weren’t about to let him ruin it.
You shifted on the bed, your gaze drifting to Soobin beside you. He was still sound asleep, his breathing steady, his features relaxed in a rare kind of peace that only sleep can provide. For a moment, you envy him his rest–free of all your troubles and overthinking, and you almost feel guilty for your plan to rob him of it.
You glance back at Beomgyu, meeting his expectant gaze. Letting out an exaggerated yawn, you stretch before sinking deeper into the blankets.
"Mmm, I think I’ll pass. Too warm, too cozy," You murmur, pulling the covers snug around you, burying yourself into the warmth.
Beomgyu huffs, rolling his eyes before stepping closer.
"Come on, baby," He drawls, voice whiny and playful. "You’re really gonna make me suffer through errands all alone? That’s so cruel." He pouts dramatically, fingers hooking onto the blanket as he gives a gentle tug. "You know I hate doing things by myself.”
You bite back the urge to snap at him. If he kept this up, he’d wake Soobin—and if that happened, there was a chance Soobin might actually agree to go with him. That would ruin everything.
Forcing a smile, you reach out, brushing your fingers over Beomgyu’s hand in a gentle attempt to placate him.
"Sorry, baby," You say, your voice laced with just the right amount of sweetness. "I’ve been exhausted from college lately, and I really need the rest. But when you come back, maybe we can all go out for lunch? We could finally try that new spot you wanted."
A perfect compromise—one that should hopefully get him off your back.
"Or," Beomgyu counters, tilting his head with a hopeful smile, "You could come with me now, and I’ll treat you to lunch there after we’re done."
You stop yourself from rolling your eyes. Of course, he wouldn’t let this go.
"Beomgyu, I’m really tired," You say, firmer this time, making it clear you’re not budging.
He exhales, the playful glint in his eyes dimming as his shoulders sag ever so slightly. And for a moment, guilt creeps in. As frustrating as he can, you hated seeing him sad.
"Alright, alright," He sighs, finally relenting. Leaning down, he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. "Guess I’ll survive without you."
You nod, eager for Beomgyu to leave. But he lingers for a moment longer, his eyes flickering between you and Soobin, hesitation etched in his features, as if there’s something more he wants to say.
But in the end, he just gives you a small nod and turns toward the door.
"You two have a good rest," He says, his voice light, casual, but there’s a hint of something else—something you can’t quite place—before he finally steps out, leaving behind a hush of quiet in his absence.
You watch the door for a moment, a frown tugging at your lips. Was he thinking the same thing you were? Did he, too, fear being left out? Maybe the boys weren’t as secure in this relationship as you had thought.
But when Soobin shifts beside you, the moment breaks, pulling you back to the present. You exhale softly, the tension in your shoulders easing just slightly.
Now, it was just you and him. No interruptions. No distractions. Just the quiet rise and fall of his breath, the peacefulness etched into his sleeping face.
These moments were rare—just the two of you, without Beomgyu’s overwhelming presence filling the space. And maybe, just maybe, this was how it was meant to be.
You watch him sleep for a few more minutes. You can feel the pulse of the quiet in the room, the way the light filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow on his handsome face. There is something about being with him like this, without Beomgyu’s constant yapping, without the unspoken tension that always hung between the three of you, where you could actually sit back and pay attention to Soobin and everything that makes him uniquely him.
You slowly reach out, fingertips brushing over his skin, tracing the delicate contours of his face. Where Beomgyu was all effortless charm and playful charisma, Soobin was something quieter and more familiar—tall, dark, and oh so sweet, the picture perfect image of first love that everyone yearned to have.
Gently, you take his arm and drape it around yourself, savoring the warmth, the way it feels so natural. Then, without thinking, you lean in, pressing the lightest kiss to his lips—soft, chaste, but enough to send a shiver down your spine.
Do you want Soobin to be your soulmate? He’s sweet, sometimes shy and reserved, but lately, he’s shown you a side of him that’s unexpectedly bold. Could you see yourself ending up with him, waking up to this every day—wrapped in his arms, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest, just enjoying the peacefulness of the early mornings?
You could. He feels safe, like a warm cozy night with whispered conversations under the soft glow of your bedside lamp. He’d know when to tease and when to hold his tongue, when to push and when to take a step back–never challenging you but never pushing you past your limits either. With him, love wouldn’t be a puzzle to solve or a bid to win the upper hand—it would be just there, steady and unwavering A stable presence, always there, always yours. Like the boy next door—not the kind who sweeps you away in a whirlwind, but the kind you could build a steady life with.And maybe that’s enough.
With a soft sigh, you ease yourself out of his arms, ignoring the soft whimper of protest he makes in his sleep at the loss of your warmth. You press a gentle shush against his lips, soothing him even as you slip from his grasp.
Your steps are quiet as you make your way to the familiar drawer—the one that holds your box of toys. Fingers brushing over the contents, you find what you’re looking for. Your trusty wand vibrator.
You wear an excited grin on your face as you walk back to the bed and see Soobin perfectly sprawled out for you. All you had to do was pull the blanket off him gently and you had full access to his pliant body which you take full advantage of, turning the vibrator to the lowest setting before pressing it against his clothed cock.
You start slow—so slow that at first, he barely reacts, just a faint shift in his breathing, a subtle twitch of his fingers. That’s exactly what you wanted. You didn’t want to wake him abruptly; you wanted this to build gradually, for the pleasure to have fully taken hold of his mind by the time he is slowly eased into awareness.
Carefully, you continue, increasing the intensity in small increments, watching as he starts to squirm. His brow furrows, his fingers curl slightly, and his body shifts as if caught between dreams and reality. Every small reaction sends a thrill through you, anticipation coiling in your chest as you wait for the moment his mind finally catches up to his body.
“I… please…” He gulps, begging sweetly even in his dreams, his hips canting ever so slightly towards the vibrator, a small patch of precum staining his sleeping shorts.
“It’s okay, baby, enjoy it.” You coo in his ear, letting your voice seep into his subconscious mind. “I got you.”
“Mmmhh.” He whimpers, bucking into the vibrating wand and craning his neck backwards, giving you the perfect opportunity to plant bruising kisses there, intent on leaving your marks for Beomgyu to see. You pay special attention to the spot right under his ear, relishing in the sweet way he keens and whines for you before you make your way down his neck to bite down on the spot joining his neck and shoulder.
He is already far gone by the time he wakes up.
“Oh, god.” He cries, jolting awake and looking around in confusion. “Wha–”
“Morning, Binnie.” You grin, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
“What's g-going on?” He rasps, his hips still ever so slightly bucking up towards the stimulation.
“You got a bit too excited in your sleep and I thought I’d better take care of you. Aren’t I so nice?”
“Y-yeah…” He pants, looking down at his dick and his shorts that were already stained with precum. “Where–where is Beomgyu?”
Your face falls but you quickly school it back into a playful expression, reaching out to tweak his nipple with your fingers. “Running some errands. Why? Can't we have fun without him? Am I not enough?”
Your tone is light, teasing, but there's a quiet ache behind the words—are you too late? Have they already made their decision?
“No, no. You are.” He rests his head back and arches into your touch, giving in. “Just didn’t think you'd be interested in doing this.”
“Silly boy, of course I am interested.” You bend down to wrap your lips around his nipple, making him gasp in shock.
“Fuck, I think I might cum in my shorts if you keep doing that.” He slurs, sweat beading on his forehead and in the dips of his shoulders.
“Oh no, we wouldn’t wanna ruin them now, would we?” You grin, pulling down his shorts and boxers to reveal his red, weeping cock. The touch of the vibrator against his bare skin has him thrashing around, causing the wand to miss his cock repeatedly. “Please, please!” He cries as if he’s not the one making it harder on himself.
“Shhh, calm down, baby. Do you need me to hold it?” You drawl, reaching out to grab his cock with one hand as you press the vibrator directly under the head of his cock with the other, making him lose it, moaning loudly at the intense direct stimulation. “Holy shit, I’m gonna cum. I really need to cum. Can I please cum?”
“Hmm, what if I said no? Will you hold it?” You pretend to actually think about it and he whines in despair. “No, please, I can’t. I feel like I’m gonna lose my mind.”
“Yeah, is it really that bad?” You coo as if you’re talking to a pet, and Soobin nods pitifully. “So bad. Need you so bad. You’re driving me crazy.”
You laugh gleefully. Soobin is so easy. As weak as he is for Beomgyu, he can be for you too. After all, he has never been subtle about his lust for you. Whenever you wear anything even slightly revealing around the house, he openly gawks at you, almost as if he doesn’t realize that you’re able to feel his stare on you and see the boner he half-heartedly tries to hide.
“Aww, poor, baby. I can’t have you lose your mind, now can I?” You tease his slit with your thumb as you increase the speed of the vibrator to maximum, making him arch his back and cry out as his pleasure quickly reaches its peak. “Cum for me, Binnie. Let it all out, baby.”
White hot cum starts spurting from his slit, and you keep the vibrator pressed just under the head of his cock while you use your other hand to jerk him off, milking every last drop from his balls and painting his tummy and chest with it.
“Goood boy.” You coo, marvelling at the amount of cum he lets out, making a right mess of himself.
“Thank you.” He pants meekly, body shaking with the aftershocks of his orgasm and the continued stimulation from the vibrator. Before long, it becomes too much, and he cringes back, “Ah, please, too much.”
You begrudgingly turn off the vibrator and take your hand off him, wishing you could keep his attention on you for a little longer. You run your index finger through the little pool of cum in the dip of his tummy and swirl it around. “Look at the mess you made, baby. Did you need it that bad?” You ask, seeking confirmation from him that he wants you as much as you want him. “Has Beomgyu not been taking care of you?”
“No, he has but…” He throws his arm over his face to hide behind it. “Just wanted you so bad.”
You smile happily and take his arm away, forcing him to face you. This is exactly what you wanted. “You’re so cute.” You bend down to kiss him and he quickly reciprocates, his lips slow and languid, but eager nonetheless, matching your every move but letting you lead.
When you eventually part, he asks, searching your face, “What caused this change of heart? You don't usually initiate these things.”
You shrug, feeling called out. “Can't I think you look hot in your sleep?”
You watch him blush, and you smile, successfully throwing him off your scent. “Hey I wouldn't mind if you woke me up like this every day.”
“I know. I wake up to your boner against my ass every day, remember?” You laugh, and he blushes even deeper, and mumbles, “I haven’t gotten you off yet.”
“No, you didn’t.” You grin, happy at his enthusiasm. “How do you intend to fix that?”
“You could ride my thigh.” He says shyly and you laugh, dutifully taking your pants off and straddling his sweats clad thigh. “Another fantasy of yours?”
He nods, grabbing fistfulls of your ass and helping you grind against the cotton material, not caring about messing it up anymore. In fact, he stares hypnotized as the wet patch grows bigger and bigger with your arousal.
You’ve never thought about this before but it feels surprisingly good, especially as he tenses his thick thigh and uses his large hands to press you firmly against it, your entire pussy getting stimulated at once.
“Fuck, that feels good.” You moan, throwing your head back, and Soobin reaches out to pull the neckline of your tank top over your breasts, exposing them to his hungry eyes.
“Fuck, these are pretty. Wish you'd walk around the house topless from now on.”
“What is it with you boys and tits? You like them that much?” You laugh, making sure to bounce on his thigh a little, making your breasts jiggle from the motion and the horny boy reach for his hardening cock to stroke it.
“Yeah, they’re so fucking sexy.” He groans, fisting his cock in a blur as he encourages you to grind against his thigh faster and harder, the lewd scene getting to his empty head. “Are you close?” He asks, already feeling the desperation, and you nod, biting your lip. “Yes, baby, gonna squirt all over your thigh. You ready for it?
He nods enthusiastically, pinching the head of his cock and squeezing out a few large drops of precum. “Fuck, please, do it. Please.”
You reach out for the discarded vibrator, bringing it to life and pressing it against your clit. It doesn’t take long for you to cry out and cum all over his thigh, your release soaking his sweats and pushing the horny boy over the edge again, except this time, he aims towards you, shooting his cum all over your body, some of it landing on your tits that he loves so much.
“Fuck, that’s so hot.” He groans, reaching out to cup them in his dirty hands, clearly admiring the view.
You’re both so blissed out, that you don’t notice that Beomgyu has come back from his errands and has made his way into the room until he speaks out, his voice playful but with an edge of frustration to it. “Hey, what the hell? You having fun without me?” He makes his way towards the bed, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
He leans in, trying to capture your lips with his but you quickly raise your hand, pushing him back. “I’m beat, Gyu.” Your tone is flat, not allowing for much give and take from him. You don't want him to overtake this moment. You’ve worked too hard for it. You want the only impression of this morning left on Soobin's brain to be just you and how good you can make him feel. You can't have Beomgyu waltzing in and hijacking all your hard work.
He freezes for a moment, clearly thrown off by your unexpected resistance. “That's not fair. How can you expect me to see you both so filthy and covered in Soobin’s cum like this and not get horny?”
“I don't expect anything. You can be horny all you want.” You shrug, the moment feels oddly satisfying. It’s like giving him a taste of his own medicine—making him feel the sting of alienation he has unknowingly inflicted on you too many times.
Beomgyu stands there, stunned, the usual playful energy suddenly replaced by something unreadable. His expression flickers, unsure if you’re joking or serious, and he looks like he’s reconsidering his next move.
“You’re really going to do this to me?” He finally asks, a mix of disbelief and amusement in his voice, as he runs a hand through his hair, trying to put on some of his usual confidence.
You smile faintly, leaning closer, but keeping just enough distance to make your point. “You can jerk off to the thought of my tits. You like doing that, right?”
He steps back, a laugh escaping his lips. “You’re such a fucking tease, you know that?”
“I can help you get off, Beommie.” Soobin offers and you fight to keep the ugly scowl off your face. Damn it, why is Soobin so damn easy?
But to your surprise, Beomgyu declines his offer. “That's okay, baby. You both look exhausted. I'll let it pass this time, but you better wait for me next time.” He jokes, throwing a pointed look at you.
You chew on your lip nervously. You wonder if he can tell what you’re doing. Beomgyu has always been unexpectedly perceptive, after all.
Well, you better hope and pray that he is as easily distracted by some tits like Soobin is.
_____________________
Your chance to make a move on Beomgyu comes when Soobin has a late lecture, leaving you and Beomgyu with some time to kill by yourselves. So you set up a “playdate” with him, luring him in with the promise of playing video games, though you don’t really have to do much to convince him. The boy cannot survive by himself for long, and you suspect it’s because even he will drive himself crazy if left alone with his motor mouth.
You put on a convincing set up of his favourite games and snacks, planning to start off by actually playing for a little bit before you make your move, making it look natural.
But Beomgyu surprises you when he walks into the living room holding a new game in his hands with a proud smile on his face. “Babe, look what I got!”
You glance up from the couch, raising an eyebrow. The game wasn’t something he would normally be into—it was your favorite genre, not his. You’d talked about it a few times, how much you were looking forward to playing it, but it was clear Beomgyu wasn’t particularly excited about the idea of it.
“Huh,” You mumble in confusion, not expecting this. "You don’t even like this game, though."
Beomgyu grins, his eyes glinting with that playful, confident spark. “I know, but you’d talked my ear off so much about it that I figured the only way to get you to shut up is to buy it for you.”
You couldn’t help the massive smile on your face at the unexpected gift. It wasn’t that Beomgyu didn’t do sweet things for you, but this was something different. You know how serious and particular he is about his games. He likes the ones he likes and never bothers with the ones he doesn't. So for him to go out of his way to get you something only you liked, means a lot despite how trivial it may seem to others.
Still, you can’t resist teasing him just a little. "You really wanted to suck up to me, huh?" You say, a sly grin tugging at your lips.
He shrugs nonchalantly, his smile never faltering. "Maybe," He says with a wink, his voice playful. "What can I say, I’m willing to suffer through this to make you happy. I’m hopelessly romantic and a perfect gentleman like that."
You chuckle, shaking your head, but secretly, you were touched by the effort. “Maybe next time, I’ll get you one of the stupid and clearly inferior games you like so much.”.
“Deal. But for now, why don’t give it a try and I’ll try to not die from boredom.”
You start the game, and before long, the two of you fall into a teasing, comfortable rhythm. You poke fun at each other for the mistakes you make—him more often than you—offering tips and laughing at each other’s blunders. The playful banter fills the space, and for a while, it’s just the two of you, lost in the ease of the moment. You forget about soulmates, eternal love, and the nagging fear of being left behind.
You’re having so much fun that you end up playing longer than you’d planned. Beomgyu is loud—his laughter is constant, infectious, and he yells at the TV seemingly every two seconds as if that would help your characters play better. He makes a big deal out of everything, and it’s impossible not to be caught up in it. Every moment with him is larger than life, filled with energy and excitement.
You can just picture a life spent with him, never a dull moment. You imagine your children thriving in that chaos, their lives full of his boundless energy. They would love him so much. He would be such a fun dad.
Your heart flutters at the thought of him as your husband and the father of your children. But is that the life you really want? Constant chaos, never a quiet moment to call your own?
You steal a quick glance at Beomgyu, but he catches you, his eyes meeting yours with a knowing look. “What?” he teases, flashing his signature lopsided smile at you.
“You’re loud,” You blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, and immediately feel silly. Beomgyu rolls his eyes dramatically, tossing his controller aside before leaning forward, his grin growing wider as he looms over you.
“Is that all?” He asks, face mere inches from yours. You don’t know why his straightforwardness was making you so nervous. You’ve wanted this exact outcome out of this hangout anyway, but why are you now suddenly acting like your intentions had been innocent?
“Yes.” You mutter, turning your head back towards the game, but if you thought that might deter Beomgyu then you were sorely mistaken. If anything, he uses this opportunity to press his face into the crook of your neck and pepper your skin in kisses.
“Beomgyu…” You whine, goosebumps bursting all over your skin. “You’re gonna make us lose.”
“Who cares? Aren’t you done already?” He huffs, one of his hands grabbing your thigh as he sucks on your sensitive skin. “Want you to pay attention to me.”
“Stop it. I’m trying to play the game.” You keep up your act, not wanting to appear too eager. Beomgyu is more perceptive than Soobin, and if you give in too easily, he might be able to tell that you’re up to something.
“Why? Do you only mess around with Soobin?” He snorts, trailing his hand between your legs to cup your heat, making you jump. “I want some attention too.”
“But I’m not done playing.” Your heart rate picks up at the hint of jealousy in his voice but you keep pretending as if the game in front of you wasn’t just a blur of colours and sounds, your real focus on his hot lips against your neck and his long fingers rubbing against your pussy.
“Then keep playing and I’ll keep playing too.” He says, pushing your shorts down your legs before pulling them onto the couch, splaying them open so he can stick his face between them and give your underwear-clad pussy a few chaste kisses.
“Beomgyu, I’m serious…” You warn, your voice anything but, yet Beomgyu–whether playing along or too desperate to notice–still falls for it.
“Please, baby. You don’t have to do anything. You don’t even have to stop playing. Just please let me have this.” He licks a long stripe along your covered slit before pressing a few kisses against your clit.
“Fuck, Beomgyu.” You grit, feeling your legs shake already. You hazard a quick glance down at him, your chest bursting into flames at the sight of him looking up at you from between your legs like a horny pup.
“Just focus on the game, baby, and let me make you feel good.” He persuades, pushing your now drenched underwear to the side so his tongue can access your pussy directly, and you fight to keep your legs from clamping around his head at the sudden spike in pleasure.
“Fuck.” You curse under your breath, trying to bring your attention back to the game and making a miserable effort at it. The heat pooling inside you from where Beomgyu was kissing and licking at your most sensitive spots is distracting, sending a rush of warmth through your veins, making your head spin and your ears ring.
The room quickly fills up with a mix of your breathy moans, the obscene sounds of Beomgyu’s wet kisses against your soaking pussy, and the nearly forgotten video game. You try to keep your focus on it but you give up when, out of the corner of your eyes, you see his hips working in tandem with his mouth, rocking against the couch underneath.
“Are you seriously humping the couch right now? How pathetic.” You mock, acting as if your arousal is not currently dripping down his chin. But since when has Beomgyu been shy about his horniness? No, he meets your gaze straight on and says, “I’d be happy to stop humping the couch and bury my cock in your pussy any time you want, baby.”
“Shut up.” You mutter, flustered at his brashness, but you can’t keep up the pretense for long, not when he pushes his tongue into your pussy and nuzzles your clit with his nose, completely burying himself in you. You have never had anything inside of you before, and the feeling of Beomgyu’s wet, rough tongue every so slightly brushing against your inner walls has you finally abandoning the game and throwing away the controller so you can pull your shirt up and play with your breasts while he tongue-fucks your pussy.
“Fuck, you made me lose. You better make it up to me, brat.” You push his face into your pussy further, and for a second you worry that you might be hurting him, but when you look down you see that your roughness just excites him, his hips driving into the couch faster.
And he does make it up to you. He is so inexplicably good at this, and you hate how easily he drags you towards the edge, as if he has done this many times before, his tongue knowing exactly how to lap and curl to have you gushing, his lips knowing exactly where to kiss and suck to have you whole body seize up, and before long, your panting like you’ve run a marathon and can see the finish line in sight.
“Beomgyu! Beomgyu!” You cry out, crashing into your orgasm, unable to hold yourself back anymore from clamping your thighs around his head. Not that Beomgyu cares, continuing to literally lap up everything you give him until he has sucked you dry.
“Oh god,” You shudder, pushing him away from your pussy. He lets you do it, using the opportunity to kiss up your body instead until he makes it to your lips, making you have a taste of your own need on his tongue.
“Did I make it up to you?” He asks, raising a hand to your chest to roughly grope your tits.
“Maybe.” You breathe out, the shakiness of your voice betraying you.
“Well then maybe you can help me out too.” He says, pointedly bucking his cock against your pussy.
“Hmm, I don’t know if it was that good.”
“Not that good? You almost smothered me with your pussy.” He scoffs and you blush. “Don’t get me wrong, I would have died a happy man, but not that good, my ass.”
You roll your eyes at him, pushing a hand between your bodies to grab his dick and jerk him off. “There, are you happy?”
He closes his eyes for a moment, seemingly savouring your touch, but then he opens them again and asks, “Come on, I just let you hump my face and all you’re gonna give me is a lousy handjob? At least suck me off or let me fuck these perfect tits.” He kneads your breasts with his hands while he bucks into your grip despite his protests. “God, if my soulmate has tits like this, I wouldn’t be able to keep my dick out of her.”
He wraps his lips around them, kissing and sucking them desperately, but your mind lingers on his words. Her? Does he think he’ll get a female soulmate then? Could it possibly be you…
“Okay.” You answer in a small voice but Beomgyu’s eager ears pick it up, and he quickly climbs over you so he’s straddling your upper body, leering down at you with dark lust in his eyes.
“Push your tits together for me, baby.” He instructs you and you bashfully do it, looking away. “Fuck you're such a pretty whore.”
“Beomgyu.” You frown, chastising him as he rocks his hips forward, fucking his cock between your breasts.
“Shhh, it's okay, baby. You’re my whore.” He tells you, and as you open your mouth to protest his possessive proclamation, he uses the opportunity to push his cock into your mouth, getting to fuck your tits and your mouth all in one. “Fuck, that’s it. That’s just what I wanted.”
You frown up at him but don’t push him off. He’s looking down at you like he’s drunk off you, and isn’t that exactly what you wanted? You may not have maintained the upper hand but the way he’s looking at you like you hold his balls in your hands is enough to justify letting him do this.
“Yeah, keep looking at me. You look so sexy with my cock in your mouth.” He continues to spit filth at you, his cock thrusting between your breasts and right into your open mouth, the pleasure clearly getting to his head if the bleary look in his eyes or the whiny tinge to his voice is any indication. You’ve got him in the palm of your hand and you didn’t even have to try. He did it all for you.
“Say you want it, baby. Tell me you want my cum in your pretty mouth.”
“Beo–gyuuu–” You slur, barely able to speak with his cock filling your mouth over and over again.
“Come on, baby. You let Soobinie cover you with his cum. It is only fair for you to swallow down mine.” He coaxes, continuing to play with your breasts with his hands as he feeds you his cock. You glare up at him but really you’re loving it. This is exactly what you wanted, the boys vying for your attention.
“Do it, please.” He begs, desperation growing more clear the longer you take to give in. Whether he knows that that would get him what he wants or he simply got lucky, you don’t know but the shiver of pleasure that zaps through you at his pathetic whimpers gets you to finally give in, looking up at him with lustful eyes and begging him oh-so-sweetly, “Please, cum in my mouth, Beommie. Wanna taste you at the back of my throat.”
“Fuck–” He cries, grabbing your hair to steady your head and slamming his cock into your mouth, giving you exactly what you asked for. Your throat closes up around the intrusion and your eyelashes brim with tears but the look of ecstasy on Beomgyu’s face makes it all worth it. “Holy shit, you’re s-so goood…” He whines, emptying part of his load at the back of your throat before he pulls out to finish on your face, jerking himself off into overstimulation just so he can give you every last drop of his cum, covering your face in his hot, sticky seed while your mouth was filled with the salty taste of him.
“Shit,” he breathes, his thumb gliding over your swollen lips. “You’re so pretty,” he murmurs, voice low, almost reverent.
You scoff weakly, turning your head away, your hair clinging to your skin with sweat and cum making you feel anything but beautiful. “Shut up. I must look disgusting right now.”
But Beomgyu doesn’t relent. Instead, he reaches out, fingers brushing against your skin as he tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
“No,” he whispers, gaze full of adoration. “You’re beautiful. The most beautiful girl in the world. And you’re mine.”
His words stun you and you blink rapidly, trying to make sense of what is happening. What the fuck is he trying to do? Has he been playing the same game you’ve just now started to play all this time?
Your stomach swirls with a confusing mix of happiness, suspicion and guilt, making you nauseous. “Beomgyu… You need to stop saying stuff like that.”
He frowns, confusion flickering across his face. “What stuff? That you’re mine? That I love you?”
You suck in a sharp breath, defensive walls springing up around you in alarm. “Yes. You can’t keep saying that to me and Soobin. You’re gonna get one of us seriously hurt.”
“Sorry, I am not a fucking coward.” Beomgyu looks pissed off, as if you’re the one making wild and dangerous proclamations. “I’m just saying what we’re all thinking. One of us is going to get hurt anyway, and it could be me. But I’d rather face that than live with the regret of never letting you know how I feel, of not savoring this while it lasts.”
His words hang oppressively between you, even after the intensity is long gone from his face and his eyes take on a pitiful look. They search yours desperately, pleading for something you’re not sure is okay to give.
“Will you say it back?,” He presses, his voice trembling. “Tell me I’m not crazy.”
You hesitate. The words seem so simple…I love you–they should come easily. You’ve said them many times before, light and carefree. But now they carry a double meaning–no longer are they just an expression of unbreakable friendship… Now they hide behind them a world of heartbreak and hurt, waiting to pounce on you and tear you apart, starting with this moment as Beomgyu continues to stare at you with hope and anticipation.
You can’t withhold the words from him, and maybe you’re being stupid, trading the small hurt of holding back now for the much bigger pain of possibly taking it away later. But at this moment, you can’t bring yourself to do it. Not when he looks at you like he won’t be able to breathe if you don’t say it.
“I love you too,” You swallow hard, the words barely escaping your lips, but Beomgyu accepts them eagerly, his face lighting up, the tension fading from his features. “That’s all I needed to hear.”
________________
A/N: the plot is finally start to plot lol what do you guys think so far
#txt smut#beomgyu smut#soobin smut#sub!reader#dom!reader#sub!idol#dom!idol#sub!beomgyu#dom!beomgyu#sub!soobin#not done yet with other fic but can't wait any longer
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GET TO KNOW YOUR TWST OCs (and their relationships)
(Or how I make up excuses to blabber about my OC lol. Most of the "who" questions are aimed at the twst cast, but feel free to include other twst OCs as well!)
Name: What does your twst OC's name mean? Why does Rook/Floyd call them [insert nickname]?
Inspiration: Is your twst OC inspired by any villains? Concepts? Anything Disney-related?
Age/Birthday: How old is your twst OC? When is their birthday? Whose birthday (among the cast) is closest to your twst OC's? Does the horoscope lie or do they get along well?
Dorm: Which dorm is your twst OC in? Why? Which qualities they have make them suitable for said dorm? Do they have a roommate and how is their relationship?
Class: Who is your twst OC's classmate(s)? How would you describe their relationship? Did they have different classmates in previous year and did they get along?
Height: How tall is your twst OC? Are they conscious about their height? Are they close to someone with similar leg length?
Hair/Eye color: What are your twst OC's hair and eye colors? Who got the closest/opposite palette to them?
Homeland: Where is your twst OC from? Do they know anyone from the same hometown prior to NRC?
Club: Which club does your twst OC join and why? Is there anything memorable about the club fair day/their first day at the club? Which clubmate is their favorite?
Subject: What is your twst OC's best subject? Worst? Do they study with another whom excels at the same subject? Do they ask anyone for help with the subject they are bad at?
Hobby: What are your twst OC's hobbies? Who among the cast will they possibly ask to join in their pastime?
Pet peeves: What are your twst OC's pet peeves and which one in the cast accidentally (or not) commit the "crimes"? How will your twst OC deal with that person?
Food: What is your twst OC's favorite and least favorite food? Why (optional)? Is there anyone they can share their favorite food? Is there anyone they can count on to take over the food they dislike?
Talent: What is your twst OC's talent(s) and who can properly appreciate that?
Unique Magic/Signature spell: What is your twst OC's UM (if applicable)? What can they do? What is the incantation? Is there any weaknesses/loopholes and who can exploit those?
Quote: Give me something your twst OC will say. Either something they always say or something iconic they said. Something that helps solve the problems or something that is a catalyst to even more issues.
(Ok I'm kinda running out of ideas here) Personality: Give me 3 adjectives to describe your twst OC. Or an essay. Whichever works. Whose personality among the cast is closest to your twst OC and do they get along?
Backstory: Tell me anything about your twst OC's backstory. Their childhood, their parents, their siblings etc. Does their backstory affect how they are as a character now and how they interact with the cast?
Pick only one: Let your twst OC pick only one and explain the reasons: only one favorite from each dorm, only one favorite housewarden/vice housewarden, only one favorite first/second/third year etc.
(For my beloved yume shippers) Partner: Who do you ship your twst OC with? Are they in a relationship? If yes, how did it start/end? If no, why?
#ask game#twisted wonderland oc#twst oc#uh yeah I look around and I couldn't find any basic get-to-know ask game#so yeah hence this happened#it's just kinda an excuse for me to chitchat about Rory but feel free (read: I'd be very glad if you do) to use for your own twst OCs!#of course this is all fun and games so never feel pressured to answer ALL of the questions if you don't want to#it has never been my intention to make anyone uncomfortable#also! feel free to add more questions!#this is very very basic purely expanded from twst character profile#twst ask game#twisted wonderland ask game#oc ask game#original character ask game#twst oc ask game#twisted wonderland oc ask game#get to know#get to know my twst oc#get to know your twst oc
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dreamboat | jjk (1)
summary: aboard the dreamboat, jungkook finds himself drawn to a beautiful stranger who appears to be drowning in melancholy. weeks later, he sees her face on the other side of the aquarium at his apartment building’s lobby. he soon learns that it’s not fate’s grand romantic plans that brought you back to his life. / (alt.) / a shipwreck and a dreamboat form an unusual bond in an aquarium.
non!idoljk x f!reader (jk is a business major who works at the amusement park ; oc works at the call center) / strangers to lovers / fluff, angst, suggestive / chapter wc: 14.9k / total fic wc: 30.8k
warnings/content (for full fic): is it an onlyswan fic if nobody cries? ; smoking ; making out ; mention of nude art ; mention of flashing ; panic attack ; a ghost cameo lol ; s*x scandal ; abuse of authority ; harrassment ; jk throws a punch once ; oc drives a motorbike without a helmet once ; vminjin + yeontan cameos :3 ; tae and jk are the same age tho
-> part two (wc: 15.9k) | spotify playlist (open to song recs <3)
note: my not so little summer project <3 i thought i wouldn’t have the opportunity to dedicate this much time to writing again in the near future so here we are! finishing this story alone felt fulfilling but even more so that i get to share it with you. pls treat it with gentle care 🫂 reblogs and feedback r very much appreciated i love talking to you guys🥺 special thanks to my lovely rio for proofreading and being the sweetest friend :") ilyily
࿐ for those who yearn <3
—
“wait! wait for me! don’t close it yet!”
jungkook’s whole life has led up to this moment.
from running away from his neighbor’s large snobby dogs during childhood— to participating in run for charity marathons mostly, only mostly, to appease his ex-girlfriend by being interested in her interests.
he successfully escaped from his uneventful class today by faking dizziness. half an hour later, he is racing towards one of the few places in this city where he feels something.
his best friend’s face is still blurry given the distance, but jungkook doesn’t need to clearly see taehyung’s face to know that he is looking at him unimpressed.
“why are you here? do you even have a ticket?!” taehyung interrogates him once he reaches the gate.
“do i have a ticket? really?” jungkook smirks, tossing his backpack to the ground.
he crosses over to the other side, and with ease, sneaks his hand in between the bars to push the lock into place.
“what do you think i work here for?”
taehyung sighs and mumbles to himself. “fine, my bad. thought we worked to pay for our bills.”
he picks up the backpack and swings it over his shoulder, heading to the control booth. on the other hand, jungkook climbs on the ship the amusement park owner lovingly named the dreamboat. he places his grip on one of the many vines curiously large butterflies are attached to, fully ignoring the existence of the steps. he hoists himself up onto the wooden floor with ease.
unhappy faces with blank stares.
he smiles at them cheerfully.
“i apologize for the hold-up. i’m your captain!”
“jungkook! sit!”
“wouldn’t he be the captain?” a high school boy at the very front quips, eyes pointing downwards at taehyung.
“eh, more like the wind behind our sails.” he ruffles the boy’s head in passing as he trudges over to his desired seat.
“what?”
his spot, a more suitable better term. the farthest row which most first timers do not dare to sit at; the part of the ship closest to the sky when it swings back and forth, higher and higher, until it feels like he’s going to fall off— but he doesn’t. for short bursts of moments, he’s flying.
the passengers are erupting in ear-splitting screams, curses, and laughter. the wide smile plastered on his face could probably be described as sadistic as he observes their reactions. most would find this ride as a nauseating, life-threatening ordeal and its name ridiculously ironic. however, to jungkook, this is what it means to be alive.
he imagined he would be alone here again today.
but as he is brought higher into the air, he discovers one person strapped to the last row of the other side of the ship.
the earth begins to move in slow motion.
they have their face buried in their palms, body shaking with what he can only guess is intense sobbing.
gone is the smile on his face.
jungkook has witnessed a few criers, sure, but not to this degree. a wave of sadness washes over him. he feels guilty and he doesn’t know why. why the hell would he be? he doesn’t even know who you are.
are you that scared? if you’re scared, why would you volunteer to go here alone? if not, then why is your heart breaking?
for a few seconds, the noises cease and his focus on you becomes amplified.
and why is his breaking too?
your sobs and gasps for air are once more drowned out by the fear and adrenaline of the majority. nevertheless, the ache they caused in his chest stays.
what could it be? the reason you’re crying like this at an amusement park? wouldn’t it be because you got stood up by your date?
lost in thought, he’s been unblinking. the wind blows as the speed of the boat picks up and he groans when dirt gets into his eye. he harshly rubs and rubs and he stops to check if it’s gone… he knows it’s gone because now he can see clearly— one of the most beautiful people he has laid his eyes upon.
the wind blows into your hair and it finally grants him a good view of your face. red, swollen eyes and mascara running. you wipe your tears away, distant eyes falling on your lap, and you take a sharp inhale. you’re a tragedy and so gorgeous still that the aching of his heart doubles due to its intensified pounding.
there’s no way… he debunks his theory. there’s no way a man could ever waste the opportunity of going on a date with you. only a fool.
slow motion comes to a full stop.
shit, shit, shit.
why can’t he look away?
you’ve made eye-contact and you’re not breaking it.
he nervously swallows the lump in his throat.
“huh?”
the ringing of the bell snaps him out of… whatever that experience was. he looks around and it is revealed to him that the ship has returned to its neutral position. passengers are already hopping off, including you.
wait, including you…
when did you get a cap?!
“fuck!” he curses, kicking his feet in annoyance.
he then proceeds to break the promise he swore to himself: never run after a girl again.
“yah, jungkook! where are you going?! you need to clock in!”
taehyung releases yet another sigh as he loses his best friend among the crowd. nearly at the same time, he hears a thud that originates from the control booth. he blankly stares at the backpack that mysteriously fell off the chair.
“does he have snacks in here at least?”
—
blue tube top and black baseball cap worn backwards. blue top and black cap. blue top and black cap. jungkook chants in his head like a maniac as he navigates the grounds, trying his best not to lose sight of your back. sweat has started to form as beads on his forehead. he squeezes one eye shut, wary of the sting, before wiping them away with the back of his hand.
he ran with all his might, but now that you’re almost within reach, he’s suddenly nervous.
“miss- miss! you dropped this!”
you turn around abruptly so his fingers end up only grazing your arm. the first thing he notices is your knitted eyebrows. he doesn’t know whether it mostly indicates annoyance or confusion.
you merely glance at the handkerchief on his open palm. “it’s not mine.”
you walk away from him and you are a magnet he is curiously drawn to.
he stands in front of you, sweaty and stuttering like a student introducing himself to a class for the very first time.
“but are you okay? i-i couldn’t help but to notice that you were cry- uh, uhm… you-you seem to have troubles.”
he clears his throat, turning his cheek for a second as to avoid melting under your intense gaze. he marvels at your beauty but he can’t pull himself together to admire it from a close distance.
“sorry, i don’t mean to pry. i’m just concerned.”
seconds pass and he doesn’t receive any sort of answer. no affirmative nod; not even a roll of the eyes. you stare at his face blankly as your feet become rooted into the ground. strands of your hair dance with gusts of the wind. it could be a haunting sight. your glossy eyes are reminiscent of deep, turbulent waters. there was a twinge of doubt on the accuracy of his words before, however, it now seems to ring true.
could it really be because of a boy?
a bicycle enters his line of vision.
a little too close not to cause an accident.
“move!” he yells out the warning, but he still takes matters into his own hands by pushing you over to the side and using his own body as a shield.
the bicycle speeds past and the rider screams something unintelligible.
jungkook’s nostrils flare. “kid, that’s not allowed in here! where did you come from?!”
the security guard running after the rule-breaker moves past him, but not before hitting his back with the baton.
“jungkook! why didn’t you stop him?!”
“yah! what was that for?!”
he scoffs, glaring towards the direction of the intruder and his co-staff, who has an entirely different job from him. why didn’t he stop him?!
while he was distracted by the commotion, he was also unaware that you managed to swipe the handkerchief loosely hanging from his grip around your arm.
his angry expression softens.
you wipe away your tears that are freely flowing against your will. earlier, you were sobbing. right now, your face is devoid of any expression. he can’t decide which is more heartbreaking.
“are you okay?” he carries on to ask again despite the both of you knowing the answer, but he just doesn’t know what else to do.
“i’m okay,” you say. “thanks for finding my handkerchief… and for saving me from the- the, yeah…”
you’re about to walk out of his life until his mouth blurts out- “wait! take this!”
he wishes the ground would swallow him whole. you blink at the small packet of sour gummies on his open palm and he wishes the ground would swallow him whole.
even he thinks this is ridiculous. he had a handkerchief in the left pocket of his jacket and now it’s yours. he had gummy worms in the right and for some reason he also wants you to have it.
“why?”
he has the same question.
“just because…”
no, that won’t do it.
“maybe it could make you feel better.”
oh my god.
“if you decide to ride the spinning top… it helps when you’re nauseated.”
still with the unreadable expression, you probe no further and accept his edible remedy.
“thank you.” you politely bow before taking your leave.
he doesn’t run after you this time. after all, his pockets are empty.
meeting you— this is probably the first and last time.
he exhales through his mouth. disappointed. he turns around and tries to look for you again.
blue top and black cap…
there you are.
leaving-
wait.
the spark of hope quickly fizzles out. you pull your hand out of your pocket, tossing something into one of the trash bins. he’s too far away to identify the item, but it couldn’t be… right?
he huffs in sheer disbelief.
“huh, she’s pretty and rude.”
—
if he’s being honest, jungkook doesn’t like this job much. graphic design is there, and it’s been a pretty sweet gig especially when he’s desperate for extra cash. anyway, taehyung got this job first, which took away time from their regular hangouts, so he would often visit his best friend during his free periods at the university. long story short, one of the managers scolded them both for playing around throughout taehyung’s shift, and as a punishment, she employed jungkook.
she is the reason why he is spending his sunday morning putting on strangers’ seatbelts and lap bars so they won’t fall off the rollercoaster and die. he was trained to double-check everything, but he is a bit more paranoid about lawsuits than the management, so despite the extra waiting time some passengers aren’t happy about, he makes that triple.
as fast as he can, while maintaining meticulousness, he does his final round of checking. so far, everyone is safely strapped to their seats. until he reaches the last row and finds the only person there with their lap bar unlocked. how did he miss that?
“ma’am, your lap bar isn’t secured. do you mind if i-”
the woman shakes her head without a word. as he gets to work, his eyes can’t help but to stray. most of her face is hidden by a face mask and sunglasses. it’s kind of funny because it’s actually been a gloomy day.
“ah, there you go. safe and sound!”
“thanks,”
he flashes her a bright smile. the last and apparently most important employee rule.
“you’re welcome!”
—
“why aren’t you eating?” taehyung asks with a mouthful of corndog.
jungkook lifts his head up from the table, sends him a glare, then drops it again. he didn’t get much sleep last night studying for their upcoming tests. he’d much rather spend his whole lunch break with his eyes closed. he’d go as far as saying that moving his jaw to chew food sounds like exerting too much energy and he couldn’t be bothered.
“change shifts with me. i fucking hate sundays.”
“depends…” taehyung pretends to be in deep thought. “will you buy me a meal everyday until our shifts rotate again?”
“do you want to die?”
“no, but it looks like you will before me.”
jungkook yawns, sleepy tears flowing down his temple. “you might be right…”
“were you up all night thinking of that girl?”
“huh? no.”
“you’re lying.”
“shut up,” he groans, adjusting himself into a more comfortable position.
so a beautiful stranger has been plaguing his mind. big deal! happens to the best of us.
taehyung cackles at his demise, thoroughly amused. “why? didn’t she throw away your gift?”
“it wasn’t a gift.” he argues. “and i know, she’s exactly my type.”
“bro, you’re fucking hopeless.”
“i know that too,” he calmly replies. “i kind of miss her.”
“at least it’s not your ex anymore, i guess.” taehyung mutters before obnoxiously sipping on his strawberry lemonade. “want to sneak into the security camera room? i’m curious. i want to see her.”
“can’t you just let me sleep?!”
“wow, you’re so grumpy today.”
took him long enough to deduce.
“then should we go after your nap?”
“i need to work!” jungkook snaps. he straightens his back, rubbing his face in frustration. “go- go do whatever you want!”
taehyung’s chewing slows down, appearing almost scared at his best friend’s outburst, but everything is a game with the two of them. “but i don’t know what she looks like.”
jungkook sighs, squeezing his eyes shut.
“okay, fine!”
in a state of exaggerated panic, taehyung gathers his things in one clean sweep, cradling them in his arms.
“i’m leaving!” he dashes out of the break room as if he’s running for his life.
jungkook huffs out a laugh at the comedic scene. as soon as his smile drops, so does his head.
—
it’s past midnight, which means it’s already friday. jungkook has been glued to the computer for the past three hours, working on a brochure he was commissioned to make. this task would go along smoothly if only his client didn’t have such a long list of demands, but alas, he is desperate for a good review after his past client’s four paragraph-long criticism. a boomer’s opinions hardly matter to him, but he knows how a single bad review alone can negatively affect reputation.
one thing’s for sure, everyone’s making it hard for him to fucking quit energy drinks.
he tosses the empty can into the trash bin beside his desk. away with his anti-radiation glasses, too. it lands in an awkward position over his keyboard. he couldn’t care less. everything hurts.
he keeps his eyes closed as he stretches his fingers, neck, and back with strained moans and grunts. the sweet relief causes him to slump lazily on his chair. at that moment, an internal battle starts. should he do the responsible thing and continue working? or should he just say fuck it and go to bed?
“no but seriously! why would she throw them away?!”
completely unrelated.
a thousand miles away from the topic at hand.
“jungkook!” taehyung growls from the bed, furiously pressing at the buttons of the controller. “it’s been two weeks! when are you going to move on?”
jungkook spins the chair to face him with a deadpan expression. the ps5 hogger is too focused on the television screen to even notice.
“you wouldn’t expect it but those aren’t cheap.”
“then maybe you shouldn’t have given it away to a stranger.” taehyung shrugs. “but that’s just me.”
“that was out of my control.” jungkook defends. “you should’ve seen her.”
“well, you wouldn’t let me.” taehyung mumbles, but he obviously wanted him to hear. “no thanks. crying at the amusement park? she’s got to have some real issues.”
“so what? we all got issues.”
“not me,” he sends jungkook a smirk. “if i don’t acknowledge them, they’re not there.”
“and that, my friend…” jungkook has decided to retire from his work area tonight. he pats taehyung’s shoulder as a display of faux sympathy. “is your biggest issue.”
wearing a childish grin, he grabs the other controller from the floor.
“now, shall we rank up?”
—
it’s been a few days since summer vacation started. he normally comes home to busan during the school breaks for a temporary taste of childhood bliss. he spends the entire day watching television, eating home-cooked meals, and not thinking about requirements at all.
too bad his vacation is suspended due to his adult responsibilities.
at least that’s the excuse he used.
his family has been staying with relatives for the past month because their home is currently under renovation. and well, jungkook’s dorm is suffocating enough on his own. staying under one roof with nine other people? hard. pass.
he may or may not be regretting that decision now, however. all of a sudden, coming home from work with a bag full of ramyeon and beer feels too depressing. even more so that he has no one to share them with. all of his friends have gone home. taehyung, too. he found someone who could temporarily fill in his place and did not think twice about leaving jungkook behind. he can’t blame him.
jungkook enters the apartment building. as always, quiet and dim. he gets that the owner is trying to save money, but isn’t it a bit too early to start turning off the lights? he rolls his eyes despite the lack of a witness.
they are very lucky that he has grown somewhat fond of this place.
jungkook allows himself to be roped in by the only source of warm light in the lobby. he finds himself incredibly silly for being entertained by goldfishes swimming around in an aquarium, but after a hectic day, this is where his brain cools down.
“hello everyone,” he coos at them.
do fishes even react to baby talk? he wouldn’t know. the only pet that lasted him years and is still alive is their family dog, gureum.
“how was your day? i hope it was better than mine.”
—
on the other side of the aquarium stands you, watching a boy talk to the fishes while he is blissfully unaware of your presence. an endeared smile graces your face unbeknownst to you.
eventually, there arrives a moment when most of the fishes favor a certain side and they clear out before his eyes.
that is when he finally notices you.
your heart begins to race, but he appears to be more shocked than you are. you stand up straight nearly at the same time.
despite the dark, they’re impossible to miss. his breathtaking eyes— which were filled with pure wonder and adoration only seconds ago— growing in size as soon as they saw yours.
“i know you…”
a bucket of ice cold water is dumped over your head.
“the girl who cried at the dreamboat!”
and while you do not appreciate the rather ungentlemanly pointing of finger, you’re glad to be able to breathe out a sigh of relief.
well, and there’s also the crippling shame.
you didn’t want your first impression on anyone to be the most pitiful version of yourself.
it’s been over a month for fuck’s sake. how does he remember your face so well?
“wow,” he gapes. “you changed your hair.”
you touch your hair, feeling a little conscious.
is that a good thing or a bad thing?
it’s your first time changing your hair color; plus, the last time you had bangs was in middle school. it’s been weeks since you had the big transformation, but you’re not quite sure how you feel about it yet.
“yeah, light pink…”
“it suits you well.”
“thanks,” is all you manage to respond with.
a gust of awkward silence passes by. there’s the instinct to run away— knocking at your brain, pulling at your limbs. but you can’t think of an excuse. your feet won’t move… eventually you stop minding that. the goldfishes are too beautiful to look away from. they work as the perfect distraction from the other soul standing across.
“so, um- i’ve never seen you around here.”
“i moved in today.”
“oh, i see… that makes sense.”
you hum to fill the quietness that follows, thinking of what else you could say, but he beats you to it.
“i live at the 13th floor.“
what did he say? do you live on the same floor? that’s impossible.
“how about you?”
“hm, 10!”
you blurt out the first number that pops into your mind. you quickly pretend like you’re not freaking out inside by shifting the topic.
“do they-” you gesture to the aquarium. “do they have names?”
“names?”
the random question seems to catch him off guard.
“none that i’m aware of.” he shakes his head. “i don’t think so- no.”
“oh…” your shoulders sag in disappointment. “that’s sad.”
but then again, you should’ve lowered your expectations and reminded yourself where you are. they were not bought as pets. they were bought for display.
—
the last time jungkook saw you was over a month ago. maybe your face is a tad different because you’re not crying. the new color of your hair compliments you in a way unlike before’s yet just as beautiful. the bangs make much of the difference too. he doesn’t know how old you are, but you look younger somehow. from his point-of-view, he could say that much has changed. but not the melancholia.
he watches you gaze into the aquarium in fascination; the lights reflect on your eyes as little twinkling stars. you’re not crying, but why can he still feel your sadness?
he once told taehyung that if you meet again, he’d give you hell for throwing his sour gummies away.
funny enough, that plan went out the window the second he laid his eyes on you again.
“do you want to feed them?” he offers.
“i already did.”
“you did?”
“i did,” you look up at him innocently, nodding. “i asked the guard.”
“aish, he didn’t tell me.” he throws his arms up with a groan. “i almost overfed them.”
you perk up with interest. “do you always feed them?”
“when i come home from work.”
“that’s nice…”
the soft smile you give him makes his heart skip a beat, but he doesn’t know it yet.
“sorry, um-” you begin smoothing out your clothes, also tucking your hair behind your ears. “i need to get to work. it was nice meeting you.”
“work?” he exclaims. “at this time?”
“graveyard shift,” you simply answer.
pictures of the dark alleyways immediately flash in his mind.
“but it’s dangerous to be roaming around here at this time.”
his radar doesn’t detect crimes being reported around the neighborhood, but with the majority of the building’s occupants being young adults, the streets are often littered with drunkards who have many things to be angry about.
“oh, i don’t walk. i’ve got a bike.”
he hasn’t known you long, but this is the most enthusiastic he has seen you. your face lit up as soon as you mentioned your mode of transportation.
however, he is a tiny bit confused.
it shows on his face, apparently.
“the motor kind,” you clarify.
“ah, the motor kind-” he claps once as soon as the realization dawns on him. he chuckles to himself. “of course!”
it was important for you to clarify, jungkook concludes from your tone. the fact that you own a bike is sexy, but you look adorable right now and it is so amusing to him.
“anyway, i need to go. it was nice to meet you!”
your heels click against the floor as you head towards the same door he walked in from.
“see you around!” he yells, still wearing a wide grin.
he remains standing there even though you’re already gone from sight.
hit with a useless yet concerning epiphany, he blinks.
“she rides the motorbike wearing heels?”
—
jungkook’s misery has been pushed to the back of his mind, replaced by an overwhelming giddiness that causes him to drop everything on the floor and jump on his bed. he buries his head into the pillow, but it does nothing to erase the happy grin that’s threatening to make his cheeks sore.
what a small world, huh?
what is this if not fate?
he flips over and stares at the ceiling as if it’s the starry night sky.
this might just become the best summer of his life.
—
jungkook comes out fresh from the shower clad only in a pair of black boxer shorts. he hangs the towel he was drying his hair with over his nape, heading to the kitchen to prepare his dinner. he rips the lid of the cup ramyeon halfway, and as he pours hot water into it from the electric kettle, your face appears on his mind again.
wait, there’s something wrong…
he tilts his head to the side, eyebrows knitting together as he tries to figure out what it is he forgot.
“ah, i’m so stupid!”
he totally forgot to ask your name!
“shit!” he shouts in higher volume when he realizes that the water has overflowed and is now dripping to the floor.
he puts the kettle down, taking a few steps back from the mess he made. praise heavens the water wasn’t hot enough for his toes to suffer anything more than a first-degree burn.
he starts to look around for anything he can wipe the floor with, his tongue poking his inner cheek.
“still having a bad day.”
—
but a bad day isn’t enough to break down jungkook’s spirit. he knows there will always come a tomorrow, so he seizes that tomorrow and comes home from work as fast as he can. there’s a big chance that you leave for work around the same time, right?
so he sits down on the sofa facing the aquarium, and he waits.
his head turns to the elevator each time it dings.
he taps his foot on the floor.
he checks tomorrow’s weather forecast on the app. clear skies. no chance of rain. high humidity levels.
he goes through the magazines laid out on the coffee table. he learns five ways to get over heartbreak. according to the quiz, he has a sweet and passionate personality based on the flavor of his lip balm. he thinks it’s pretty accurate. strawberry, he strokes his non-existent beard. could never go wrong with it.
next thing he knows, the clock strikes twelve.
he can no longer control his excessive yawning but his stomach is just screaming for the pack of jjajangmyeon in his cupboard.
he presses the elevator button with a tight-lipped smile. he’s disappointed that he didn’t see you at all today, but he was raised to have a positive outlook in life. you live in the same building. you have to run into each other again one of these days.
—
what does jungkook hate more than normal sundays? sundays when he didn’t get enough sleep.
for some reason, he’s still tragically stuck with working on the worst day of the week despite his repeated objections. the only upside to this particular sunday is that he is assigned to the ferris wheel. in exchange for thrice the amount of his daily wage in discreet tips, what happens in some of those cabins are none of his business.
if he ends up getting reassigned, he would be pretty fucking pissed off.
he’s restless as the elevator descends to the ground floor. he’s munching on a protein bar, jogging in place as to warm up his body for a race to the bus stop.
he can’t be the one manning the bump cars. bump cars are the worst. those kids hit you on purpose, he swears.
the elevator dings and he runs.
until an eye-catching color forces him to pull the brakes. his sneakers squeak against the tiled floor.
your back may be facing him, but he can recognize you from that cotton candy hair even from a mile away. you’re right where he was hoping you’d be last night, conversing with one of the janitors. this really isn’t the best time for your paths to cross again, given the reasons he was just grouching about, but his feet refuse to move.
you go on your tiptoes to sprinkle fish feed into the aquarium. you’re so adorable in your pajamas; you’re almost drowning in the black and white checkered cloth. are those yours in the first place?
“everything you need to know is written here… how much- how often you should feed them depending on the seasons, depending on how big they’ve gotten… jungkook worked really hard in researching. impressive, don’t you think?”
“i see…” he is finally granted his wish to hear your soft voice. “but why don’t they have names?”
the janitor scratches his head at your question. “they look too alike to have names.”
“hello! i heard my name!” jungkook pops in without a warning, causing mister park to flinch and slap a hand over his chest in shock.
“jungkook! i’m 71 years old! you could’ve killed me!”
“oh, that’s right-” he gasps. “grandpa, i’m sorry!”
jungkook attacks him with a bear hug, playfully rocking their bodies back and forth hoping that would calm down his vulnerable heart. for a brief moment, he feels like a child again.
“this is jungkook.”
the introduction was already made for him. that’s one less thing he has to overthink.
“____ here wants to feed the fishes every morning from now on. i told her it’s perfectly alright with me.” the janitor laughs. “with my age, you know how forgetful i’ve become.”
“really?” he breaks away, surprised by what he just learned. “that’s so nice!”
“it’s nothing. i’m happy to do it.” you smile and make eye-contact with him, but you soon break it, opting to glance at the aquarium.
you must like fishes a lot. he only felt bad for them because the janitor on night shift doesn’t give a single fuck about them; that’s why he did all that research hoping it would help with committing to the responsibility, which jungkook ended up shouldering in the end anyway. but you… you’ve been here for what? two? three days?
“tell you what…” he brings out the pen he keeps in the side pocket of his backpack. “this- this is my phone number. if you need anything, or incase you need someone else to feed them, contact me!”
he scribbles down his phone number on the notepad grandpa was showing you before his rude interruption.
“by the way, my unit is 1311. you can also just-” he knocks on the thin air, clicking his tongue to mimic the sound. “knock on my door.”
jungkook’s watch beeps twice everyday, once at 8:50am and then at 11pm sharp. the sun is burning bright and his shift starts at 9am. yes, he is nervous infront of a girl who is drop-dead gorgeous, but he should also be very much nervous about the (unfair) deduction from his measly salary.
“okay, i need to run to work! goodbye!”
—
so, his name is jungkook…
you crane your head to watch him rush out of the building. the uncomfortable sound of his sneakers squeaking against the floor makes you grimace.
the page he wrote his number on is ripped off from the notepad and handed to you.
“he’s a good kid.”
you force yourself to smile, and it slowly fades as you tilt down your chin and stare at the string of numbers in blue ink.
long after the janitor has left to fulfill his long list of tasks, you remain standing by the aquarium.
“you do have someone taking good care of you.” you whisper to the clueless fishes, caressing the glass. a genuine smile appears when two of them swim towards you, beady eyes trying to make sense of the stranger loitering around their homey cage. “you can breathe well and you’re warm in the winter. that’s a relief.”
after feeding them, next on the agenda is to cook your own breakfast. you head for the elevator, tossing the crumpled up paper into the trash bin before pressing the arrow pointing towards north.
—
“hyung…”
“why?”
jungkook sighs. “can you text me?”
“text you what?” seokjin’s forehead creases in confusion.
“anything. i just need to make sure my phone still works.”
thursday has been a slow day at the amusement park despite the school vacation and no one has tried to win a teddy bear since the place opened. seokjin is more than happy to spend his free time playing games on his phone in his own little corner at the amusement park.
well, that was before jungkook got bored at the ping pong toss booth and decided to hang out at the other side of the wall.
he shrugs and texts his younger friend the word ‘anything’ just to get him off his back. he goes back to playing his game, not curious enough to interrogate him with additional questions.
jungkook’s text tone rings at max volume.
“it does work!” he yells in exasperation, flopping down at his seat. “why hasn’t she texted me?”
“you were whining about the same thing the other day.” seokjin muses as his car crosses the finish line. second place. “you fool, just text her first.”
“i don’t have her number.”
“what do you mean you don’t have her number?”
“i gave her mine.” jungkook says quietly. “we live in the same building and i told her to contact me if she needs anything.”
“then i guess it’s safe to say that she doesn’t need anything from you.”
“seriously, why can’t i have friends that are nice to me?!”
seokjin bursts out laughing, definitely not a stranger to jungkook and taehyung’s bickering at the break room.
“you did this one to yourself! jungkook, flirt better!”
“easier said than done,” jungkook pouts.
you make him nervous. his brain goes blank when you’re around. in addition to that, he doesn’t know what you’re going through and he’s scared that you’d end up pushing him away if he oversteps.
“i gave her candy when we first met and she threw them away.”
“oh, that’s right,” seokjin loads a new game, snorting. “taehyung told me about that.”
jungkook’s jaw drops. “is he backstabbing me?”
—
jungkook enters the break room with yet another item from the lost-and-found. it’s been over two weeks since he found this orange beanie on the ground. must’ve fallen from the rollercoaster, that’s his best guess.
since no one has claimed it— “finders keepers,” he grins as he stuffs it into his backpack.
“thief,” seokjin jokingly accuses him from the other side of the table. “that’s how you were raised?”
“says the one who took the sony headphones yesterday.”
“i won it fair and square!”
he’d argue with the older man again, but his phone vibrating has stolen his full attention. he is hit with disappointment at the same moment that he snatches it from the table. it’s his mom, again, asking him when he’s coming home.
“you need to stop doing that. it’s getting sad.”
he sighs, hugging his backpack to hide his pitiful face. “i am sad.”
—
his walks home from the bus stop have always been a period for reflection and pondering. the streets of seoul are scattered with his indecision, worries, and anger. since his mother has been asking him for months, should he just go home and endure their living situation? maybe it’s better to be annoyed with the presence of people instead of being blue with a lack thereof.
so much for being independent. he spent most of high school anticipating the day he gets to move out, now he wants nothing but to go home. he can’t help but to think that life is but a vicious cycle of wanting and losing.
too lost in thought, he fails to realize right away that he has entered his apartment building’s vicinity. it’s the smell of cigarette smoke that brings him back to reality. the alley is dark, but he can make out the silhouette of a figure crouched down on the ground. assuming that it’s one of the guards hiding to smoke, he soundlessly enters the confined space with mischief up his sleeve.
when he gets close enough, the first thing he sees is the tip of the cigarette still burning red as the smoker takes a puff.
a car with blinding headlights zooms past.
it becomes unmistakable then— the identity of the person ten feet away from him.
there’s no one around here with same hair color.
none that he knows of anyway.
he is motionless; clueless as to what he should do. he should probably turn his back and leave. pretend this never happened. he never saw anything.
he can’t even be hung up on the fact that you smoke. if he thinks back on his past experiences with dating, this would’ve been a turn-off, but he loses the ability to care. the smoke in his lungs is negligible when your wounded sobs are breaking his heart. it’s ridiculous that the urge to also cry is spreading fast in his system, but he had a long day and he feels really fucking shitty.
you were going to notice his presence eventually.
he doesn’t know what he was expecting.
you lift your head, and eye-contact is made. none of you chooses to speak a word.
you’re as beautiful as the day he first met you.
you stand on your feet and you step on the cigarette, on the emotional connection he swore you had, crushing it under the weight of your boot.
he blinks away the tears threatening to escape his eyes. he should say something; offer an apology for intruding on a vulnerable moment, but you walk past him before he could form the words, shoulder harshly bumping against him.
could have it been on purpose?
“____!” he says your name for the first time, for what sounds like a plea. he follows you home like a lost puppy. “i’m sorry, i-i wasn’t… i thought you were another person… are you okay?”
“what do you think?” you spit out. the delicate voice he knows isn’t there, gone harsh and hoarse.
“is there anything i can do?”
no response.
he tries again. “anything at all?”
“oh my god, can’t you take a hint? leave me alone!”
your sudden outburst sends him stumbling backwards, the sensation of your hands on his chest still lingering despite the distance that was forcefully created between the two of you.
“i don’t know you! stay away from me!”
your infuriated voice echoes throughout the lobby. he is shocked. dumbfounded. his eyes, out of focus, seek your face, and he finds you heaving with tearful eyes.
he makes an attempt to speak, something to defend himself with, but in the end, he still says, “i’m sorry.”
a woman walks out of the elevator, and you immediately enter without looking back. jungkook remains standing where he is, with strangers’ eyes on him as if he has committed a grave crime.
—
you slam the door shut, hand still covering your mouth shut despite no one being around to hear your cries. you don’t bother turning on the lights. your shoulder bag falls somewhere on the floor and you collapse on the bed, still in your jeans and your heels hanging off your feet.
nothing matters anymore.
you’re suffering the punishment of somebody else’s crime. you’ve been casted out, stripped away of your dreams and your dignity. your life is over and you’ve accepted that, but maybe you haven’t. all is unfair. you’re so fucking angry but you’re too tired to feel it. and you’re alone. so alone. no one is on your side and it’s not fair.
you try to scream out, anything to release your pent-up rage, but it doesn’t happen. apparently, that’s what happens when enough people tell you to bite your tongue raw.
they say we curl up into the fetal position as a natural response to stress and anxiety because it mimics the sense of security we had when we were in our mother’s womb. the way you see it, your body will always be yours and it is the only one that you need.
so you curl up and you put your arms around yourself. you pat your own back until your wrist falls limp from exhaustion, and you keep your eyes closed until you fall into a deep sleep.
you pray to god that you never wake up.
—
you fail to achieve peace even in your dreams. in what is supposedly an imaginary land, you were being chased by faceless agitators with torches and pitchforks. you were crying and screaming, running on bare and bloody feet, tripping on branches and the stones they were throwing.
you open your eyes to darkness.
just as you predicted; nobody listens.
you feel nothing anymore and you hope it stays that way. if you can’t escape it, then perhaps, you can be desensitized to its horrors.
you force yourself to sit up on the bed, spending an unknown length of time staring into the void.
the first coherent thought formed in your head… no, not a thought… a person.
your bare feet brave the cold floor. the switch of the desk lamp is flicked as you sit at your desk. you grab a pen to write something on the free space of your opened journal pages.
under those numbers, you note down the name of the owner in cursive.
—
after the shitshow that transpired earlier, sleep became impossible for jungkook.
he doesn’t quite understand how he feels about you. however, it’s currently clear that there’s a part of him that’s pissed off. you made yourself very clear. he should maintain distance from now on. that’s the sensible, respectable thing to do. at this point, attempts at initiating any form of relationship with you appear to be futile. you’re a stranger to him, as you emphasized. this shouldn’t be as complicated as it is in his head… but fuck, the memories of your tear-stained face is corrupting his ability to rationalize.
it’s 2:33am. he’s been playing the guitar infront of the camera for an hour and a half already. the comment section is flooded by sleep-deprived people like him, sending song requests and questions about his personal life.
yes, he’s about to be in third year college.
no, he doesn’t have a girlfriend.
no, he can’t mention where he lives… but sure, he can sing ‘beautiful’ by crush.
“what do you mean? i just finished playing it ten seconds ago!” he squints as he scrolls through the new wave of comments. “sorry, art commissions are still closed. i’m behind on my workload… no, i’m not sleepy! don’t send me to bed yet… knees by iu? i love that song. should i play that next?”
his phone vibrates with a new text message, nearly causing it to fall from the stack of books he set it up on.
“oh- what was tha- what do i do? wait, everyone. i need to check on something!”
the live is temporarily put on pause.
“who is this?”
his eyebrows knit in confusion when he is greeted by an unregistered phone number.
2:45am
hi, jungkook. this is ____. i wanted to apologize for my behavior at the lobby earlier. i understand you were only concerned. i’m so sorry. i’d love to buy you coffee some time to make it up to you, if that’s ok.
this is real, right? he’s awake. he’s not hallucinating. the text message indicates your name and it says that you’d love to buy him coffee some time.
a gasp leaves his mouth, his hand flying up to seal his lips.
you texted him. you finally texted him.
he was starting to get convinced that you also threw away his number, but you didn’t!
he weakly sets down the phone, brain still processing the message you sent. does this make sense?
“i shouldn’t reply right away… maybe in the morning…” he nods to affirm myself. “that’s right.”
he begins chuckling out of nowhere. soon enough, those chuckles become chortles. he must be going insane. he picks up the phone and reads the message again.
“she sounds pretty even in chat. how is that possible?” he spins on his chair, so carefree. “but honestly, is one coffee enough for what she did?”
he shakes his head with a click his tongue.
“i don’t think so…”
hold on…
it feels like he’s forgetting something…
“ah, the live!” he jumps on his seat in panic.
he swipes out of the text message to go back to the app where he abandoned his thousand viewers.
“sorry, i made money.” he mumbles to himself. “i should end it now.”
—
his mood has done a 180. his routine consists of feeding the fishes dinner, and then himself, but he decided to skip the second part earlier for reasons that he has forgotten by now.
his stomach growls at his selfish decision.
given the time, he considered food delivery, but the fee made him exit the app immediately. he hasn’t gone to the grocery store as of recent either. the fridge has been wasting electricity, but his pride won’t let him turn it off.
how did people live without convenience stores before? that is what jungkook marvels about as he crosses the long hallway to reach the elevator.
a door ahead opens, and he would ignore it if not for one of the two people who comes out from the other side of it.
there is a man in his late 20’s, and then there is… you.
you are the deer and jungkook is the blinding headlights.
—
the coffee you originally offered jungkook has turned into a full meal. when you arrived at the convenience store, he knew what he wanted right away. he grabbed the biggest cup of ramyeon and tteokbokki, an egg, sausage, and cheese. he refused to let you pay for them at first, but there was nothing left to do after you handed the cashier the money.
the action was done out of obligation rather than will, but seeing how much he’s enjoying the food, you’re a little less displeased with the circumstances.
“is that all you’re eating? we can share mine.”
“it’s okay. i’m not that hungry.”
with the money you had left, you were able to afford a roll of gimbap. maybe it’s not enough to make you full, but it’s enough to satiate your hunger. you slowly chew the food in your mouth, an effort to hide your smile as you discretely observe jungkook devour his rabokki.
“the man from earlier, is he your brother?”
your chewing is put on pause. “how did you know?”
“how? it’s easy!”
he cheekily points at his nose using his chopsticks.
“you have the exact same nose.”
“ugh,” you grimace. “i’m tired of hearing that.”
your list of similarities ends there. he’s the golden child and you’re the black sheep. if your parents find out that he comes to visit you and he sends you money, they’d only see you in worse light.
“i know,” jungkook scrunches his nose. “i have an older brother too.”
cute.
“so… why did you lie?”
he’s seriously asking you like this? so casually?
you awkwardly set down your food on the table and you take your time sipping at your coffee to buy yourself some time.
—
“i was embarrassed with what happened before… me crying at the boat and everything…”
you’re having a hard time looking at jungkook in the eye. sensing your discomfort, he wants to punch himself for being so careless with his tone. until moments before, he felt too offended to consider the fact that you never owed him an explanation.
“you don’t have to be. it’s okay.” he reassures you. “we all have bad days.”
it doesn’t work the way that he thought it would. when you start laughing, he is lost.
“did i say something funny?” he chuckles along nervously.
“that quote, ‘it’s just a bad day, not a bad life.’”
“yeah?”
“it’s the opposite for me. it’s not just a bad day; it’s a bad life.”
you speak with such endearing humor and it works like a charm in making the atmosphere lighter. he’d pass it off as a self-deprecating joke, but based on your few yet impactful encounters so far, he doesn’t think you’re stretching the truth far. if he’s being honest, if your first meeting happened differently, he’d assume that you’re living a perfectly comfortable life based on your appearance alone.
“even now, i’m too embarrassed to show my face to you. but we’re neighbors, so i’ll try to get over it.”
“tell you what, let’s start with a clean slate.” he eagerly makes a proposal. “you can erase all the embarrassing memories of you from my brain.”
“h-how do i do that?”
“flick my forehead!”
you blink, eyes darting around as you try to make sense of what he said. “i was expecting some sort of stupid hypnosis.”
“or that,” he switches up, slapping the table as if you just came up with something revolutionary.
why did he say flick his forehead anyway? he knows you gotta have an overwhelming amount of pent-up emotions. you could go deku on him and blow his head off.
“let’s do that!”
“no, i like it.” you almost interrupt him. “i’ll flick your forehead.”
but he did suggest it… and you act so gentle and sophisticated. he doubts that you would make it hurt.
“here i go!”
he gets his bangs out of the way. “okay!”
he squeezes his eyes shut, bracing himself for impact. “please have mercy.”
son of a bitch. that hurt.
“ow!” he rubs the affected area, face twisting in pain. his eyes flicker to you in disbelief. “you didn’t hold back, huh?!”
you smile at him sweetly. “did it work?”
—
“you fed them, right?”
“of course i did. you?”
“yes, this morning.”
“okay, that’s good.”
you and jungkook sit in silence after that, eyes twinkling with wonder as they follow the stunning movements of the goldfishes.
deep inside, he’s feeling restless. you make him nervous, and he’s also nervous about you noticing that he’s nervous. it’s been a tireless cycle.
he sneaks a glance at you.
perhaps he’s overthinking again. it seems like you don���t even care that he’s less than an arm’s length from you.
he doesn’t know whether to be relieved or annoyed.
he sighs without a sound, comfortably leaning all of his weight on the couch.
“it’s called the dreamboat.”
“what is?”
the boat you cried in— can’t say that. you might flick his forehead again.
“at the amusement park.”
“oh…”
it falls silent.
jungkook is thankful when you have a follow-up question because he hasn’t thought of a new topic yet.
“i wonder why they called it that.”
“oh, because the owner’s daughter loves boats!” he shares one of the few fun facts he learned over the past year. “that’s why it was designed like it came from a fairy tale too.”
a mirthful smile forms on your face “my guess was too far off.”
“what was it?”
“mhmm,” you hum, folding your arms over your chest. “dreamboat is a word used to describe a handsome man, right?”
jungkook nods his head like he knew that all along. no, he didn’t.
“so i imagined the owner met their handsome partner on a boat- no, or a ship,” the epiphany hits you in the middle of your sentence. “they have to be rich since they built an amusement park.”
a romantic. you imagined a love story based on a word alone. jungkook’s teeth dig into his lower lip as he tries to tame his wide grin.
“that does sound like a good theory.” he casually bends over, resting his elbows over his spread thighs. “i think i like it better than the truth.”
“how did you know that though? the truth?”
he shrugs. “i work there.”
“you work there?” your voice goes up a pitch. “i didn’t know…”
“you? do you study or work?”
“call center,” you answer to get it over with. to his surprise, your body language shifts and you’re now facing him. “what’s it like working there? is it fun?”
apparently, a job at the amusement park is now joining his very short list of your interests: after motorbikes, smoking, and fishes.
“it has good days and bad days…” he trails off. he hasn’t truly given this much thought, so he’s also learning about himself. “but i didn’t expect it to be as fun as it is. sometimes it’s boring, but when it’s fun, it’s really fun.”
you scoot closer. “do you get to ride for free?”
ah, yes, the deciding factor when he was offered the job.
“there’s an employee discount, actually! but i do it for free anyway…” he shyly scratches his head. “don’t tell anyone i said that.”
“i don’t have anyone to tell.”
his heart skips a beat when he hears your laugh genuinely for the first time. quiet and delicate and airy— you grace this blue summer night like a spring breeze that takes away with it everything that burdens your mind and heart.
once again, the aquarium becomes the most interesting collection of atoms in the building. as for him, he is still unable to keep his eyes off you.
“did you have a pet fish growing up? you really like them a lot.”
“no,” you reply. “i didn’t care about them until now.”
“really?” his eyes grow wide. “wow, i seriously thought you were a marine life enthusiast, or something like that.”
you give him a look. “i thought you were a marine life enthusiast.”
“we were both wrong.” he shrugs. “but what made you care about them so much now?”
“i don’t know. i just thought of something when i was looking at them.”
he feels your hesitance to continue. your eyes connect briefly and he communicates that he’s listening with an open mind.
“they’re different from other pets, you know, like cats and dogs. they can’t make a sound when they’re in pain.”
in the dark room, he sees the melancholy seeping from the cracked edges of you. although you act relaxed, your spoken thoughts paint the picture of a person whose sensitivity and sympathy touch upon everything.
“there should at least be somebody who cares enough to check up on them and make sure that they’re alive and well.”
“…and you wanted to be that somebody for them.” he concludes with a hushed voice, more to himself than you.
“but it turns out they have you already.”
“it’s not just me now.”
he mirrors your soft smile. it’s nice to see your frown turned upside down for a change. what was weighing down on him has become lighter, and he hopes it’s the same for you.
“the sun is about to rise.” you announce after a peek at the grandfather clock. “we should go home.”
jungkook isn’t a big fan of comfortable silence, but he can get used to it. he maintains a respectable distance from you in the elevator, engaging himself with the ascending number of floors on the screen. when the door opens, you’re the first to step out and he follows suit.
your destination isn’t far. you pause in front of unit 1303.
“uhm, this is me.”
yup, the same door he saw you come out of.
“i’m not far, just at the end of the hall. 1311, if you ever need anything.”
your eyes trace the direction of where he’s pointing before you nod in understanding. with a hand gripping the door handle, you offer him one final smile.
“goodnight, jungkook.”
—
if others cheese over good morning texts first thing after opening their eyes, then jungkook’s case is one of a kind.
he rolls over to his side, puffy eyes from sleep forming thinner crescent moons as he zooms in on your reflection on the glass.
10:08am
[attached image]
they’re happy and fed :)
10:10am
[attached image]
babies are getting bigger
this is how his mornings have been going for the past two weeks. he wakes up and he checks his phone for fish breakfast updates from you. in return, he sends fish dinner updates to you at night. he was the first one to send you a picture following the night you awkwardly bumped into each other. he didn’t want to wait around anymore.
were his palms sweaty? did he throw his phone on the bed after?
no longer relevant.
he now knows that your favorite color is blue and you have wednesdays and fridays off for the next month. that’s pretty cool.
another thing he’s taken notice of is that you don’t use emojis or emoticons aside from the smiley face.
although, there was once a miracle.
he scrolls up until he reaches your conversation from four days ago.
11:59pm
LOL i’m actually allergic to seafood ㅜㅜ
😭😭😭
“ah, i’m annoyed!” he kicks his feet; half of the blanket falls to the floor. “she’s so cute!”
things are indeed going great, greater than he imagined, but if he has to complain, he wishes he could see you in person more. he’s at work when you’re home and vice versa, so you don’t cross paths despite living on the same apartment floor. that 3am encounter was a rare phenomenon, it turns out. he chanced upon you a few times while running to work and you were feeding the fishes breakfast, but those conversations were barely conversations.
‘i just thought of something when i was looking at them… they can’t make a sound when they’re in pain.’
he hasn’t stopped thinking about that.
—
“when are you asking her out on a date?”
taehyung is on a mission to tease him for life even from daegu. he’s only thankful that his best friend isn’t video calling him from the toilet again because he’s currently having his lunch.
“i don’t know.” he grouches. “it doesn’t feel like the right time. i don’t want to scare her off.”
“when’s that ‘right time’?”
“i’ll figure it out…” he sighs, setting down the half-eaten sandwich on the table. “how do i say it…? i feel like- hm, she’s no- she’s not in the best emotional state right now.”
“so you admit it,” taehyung raises an eyebrow, smirking. “she has issues.”
that didn’t sit right with jungkook at all. he feels obligated to defend your honor.
“hey, stop being rude. you haven’t even met her yet.”
“come on, bro! i’m only looking out for you.”
the atmosphere shifts into a more serious tone.
“i don’t want you to get hurt trying to fix another person again. it was hard to watch.”
he moved on and learned his lesson— he wants to spit out as a rebuttal, but his best friend gave him much to think about. would it make sense to say that he’s moved on but he hasn’t healed?
“i know,” is what he ends up saying absentmindedly, distracted by thoughts that he isn’t keen on sharing.
and as if he’s been slapped back into reality, he fixes his posture and picks up his sandwich. “so, what’s up? have you even slept yet?”
“no,” taehyung responds nonchalantly. between the two of them, he absolutely has the more fucked up sleeping schedule. “i’ve been awake since 12am.”
“didn’t you say you’d spend the entire vacation sleeping?”
“this vacation was a trap.”
the camera darts to the abandoned mop on the floor.
“my mom makes me do all the chores everyday. this is worse than my actual job!”
a devilish grin is drawn on jungkook’s face. ah, the grass is always greener on the other side.
—
“mondays stay to be a pain in the ass.”
does it look like he’s exhausted and dirty from chasing around children all day? jungkook is stressed as he checks himself out on his front camera. he’s walking home from the bus stop after clocking out of work.
the street is mostly quiet, until a roaring engine approaches and he cringes at the raucous sound assaulting his eardrums. he’s already at the sidewalk for his safety and in accordance with the law, but he feels compelled to stay further back and wait for the vehicle to pass by.
seconds later, a black harley races past.
jungkook is dumbfounded as he tries to piece the puzzle together.
the lights are bright, and your pink hair blowing with the wind is even brighter.
“w-was that…?”
—
he was going to bring it up over text last night, but he decided to reserve it for physical conversation because he wants to see your face light up again.
you’re so fucking cool.
he’s both amazed and envious.
also, he’s pretty damn sure that you’re rich. he doesn’t understand why you’re living in this place and enduring the graveyard shift at the call center.
a foolish smile is permanently plastered on his face as he sketches a commissioned digital portrait. he really should focus, or else he might end up drawing you instead of his client.
he spins on his chair, pushing the wheels towards the bed, where he comfortably extends his feet over. almost missed it. the power has been out for an hour and he doesn’t expect it to come back until dawn. he was pissed about this being a normal occurrence during the first year of his stay here, but he’s gotten quite used to it. invested in a powerbank that almost looks like it can charge a car’s battery and he’s all set.
the aggressive pounding at the door drowns out the pop ballad he’s listening to.
“what? who could it be at this hour?”
he pauses the song, turning up the brightness of his ipad to use it as a makeshift flashlight.
the last person he expected to appear at his door says the last thing he expected them to say.
“jungkook, i think there’s a ghost in my apartment.”
—
jungkook sets down a hot cup of tea infront of you. in his mind, he thanks himself for keeping everything his mom sends him, even the things he do not like.
“thanks,” you mumble, picking it up by the handle.
he patiently sits on the other side of the table for two, giving you the time to calm yourself down from the horror that you witnessed. he has his emergency light propped up on the kitchen counter. he was saving it for when he finds himself in a grave situation, like a total blackout or an apocalypse. he didn’t imagine he’d end up using it for an unusual night like this.
“are you feeling better?” he asks worriedly.
you nod. “yeah, i just don’t want to be alone right now.”
“i’m here. you can stay until whenever you want.”
“thank you.”
you sigh with your eyes closed. you look like life has been drained out of you.
“i’m really scared, jungkook.”
“are you sure about what you saw? i mean, it’s dark. your mind could’ve been playing tricks on you.”
“i saw him. i really him saw him!” you frantically defend yourself. “i was washing my hands then i turned around and i saw him, sitting at the edge of my bed! he looked at me!”
his heart drops to his stomach when your chin begins to wobble and he sees your eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“and his skin was burnt off, jungkook.” you enunciate the words to emphasize the severity of what you experienced. “it’s so horrifying, i had to run.”
“hey hey hey- it’s okay. i believe you.” he squeezes your cold, trembling hands. “you’re safe now. it’s only us here. no spirits- i promise.”
he’s losing his mind a little bit. he’s holding the hands of the girl he likes and her pinky is wrapped around his. you’ve been putting him through a rollercoaster that, for once, he is terrified of. he wants to bask in this moment… but the specific detail you revealed is bothering him.
“and you said… he was burnt?”
“yeah, why?”
he presses his lips in a thin line, shaking his head. “no, it’s nothing.”
“there’s something.” you stop crying. “i see it on your face.”
“i swear, it's nothing!”
“you’re lying!” you accuse him. “what is it?”
“forget it, ____.”
“jungkook,” you say his name sternly. “tell me.”
shit, he’s done for. you can’t do this to him when he’s trying to protect you.
he swallows nervously. “but i don’t want to scare you.”
“i saw a ghost. what else can scare me?”
“the truth is…” he pauses, still weighed down by hesitance. but he realizes he has reached the point of no return. also, you’re squeezing his hands a little too tight. “this building had to be restored. it burned down a decade ago. people suspect there was foul play, but the firemen said it was faulty wiring.”
he’s the one telling the story, but he also feels chills run down his spine.
“oh… so you’re saying…”
“i… believe so?” he winces with a mix of guilt and fear. “but it’s the first time i’m hearing of a ghost story here. i haven’t had any encounter either.”
“i need to move.” you declare, not an ounce of humor in your voice.
“don’t!” he protests.
perhaps a little too passionately. could he be any more obvious?
“what do you mean? you need to leave too!”
“i can’t,” he fakes a pained expression. “who’s going to take care of the fishes?”
that works like a charm.
you untangle your hands and lean against the chair, transforming into a pensive state.
if he wasn’t going to convince you to stay, the fishes would.
“fuck,” you curse in a low whisper, sipping on your tea.
—
“i’m not the spoiled brat you think i am.” you frown, dangling your feet from the bed. “i sleep on the floor too.”
“i’d be rude if i let you do that.” jungkook insists as he fluffs his pillow. “i’m comfortable right here. i’m used to it.”
he was relieved that you weren’t stubborn enough to go back to your place and force yourself to sleep there. after seeing how terrified you were, it would’ve been impossible for him to close his eyes and shut down his brain from worrying. he hasn’t seen a ghost, but they have to be real. he likes to believe that we do not cease to exist and we have some place to go when we die. however, that does co-exist with being alarmed by a ghost of a burnt body sitting on your bed. he isn’t going to let you go back in there tonight. no way.
“you should get some rest. just tell me if you need anything, okay?”
“thank you, jungkook.”
“it’s no problem!”
his name sounds so sweet when it comes from your lips. he can’t help but to feel giddy every time he hears it.
you lie down on the bed, facing the portable fan strategically set up on jungkook’s gaming chair. on the other hand, the emergency light is at the nightstand, acting as a night lamp.
he checks the time on his ipad: 1:48am. his battery percentage: 55%. he’s not yet sleepy, so he decides to continue working until he gets the low battery warning for 20%.
sitting down without back support becomes too uncomfortable after a while, especially when drawing. he doesn’t realize it when he changes positions, too focused on drawing the intricate floral patterns on the client’s blouse.
“is that your girlfriend?”
jungkook turns his head towards the voice and your face is only inches away from his. the word stops for a moment.
“is she okay with me sleeping here?”
he scoots a little further away to grant his racing heart some mercy. “u-uhmm, no.”
“no…?” you repeat slowly, sounding concerned.
“no, as in she’s not my girlfriend!” he further elaborates in distress. “i don’t have a girlfriend.”
“okay, cool. you scared me.” you huff out a chuckle. “i don’t like being the girl who causes problems.”
“no, you’re safe.” he manages to also laugh. “no one’s coming to pull your hair.”
“then who is she?” you point at the screen with your pouted lips, particularly the reference photo that’s been burnt to his memory.
“a client. people pay me to draw them.”
“oh, so she’s one of your french girls?” you crack a humorous remark.
the reference catches him off guard, even though he should’ve totally seen it coming.
he squints. “mhmmm, i guess? kind of like that… except they’re not, you know, naked.”
“i see,” you hum in interest. “you don’t like doing nude drawings?”
“honestly? i don’t know. i’ve never done it before.”
“no one’s asked you?”
he shakes his head. “no one,”
“would you do mine if i ask you to?”
he secretly pinches his thigh to prove that he’s not dreaming.
what the fuck?
did he hear you right?
it sounded like such a genuine and casual question in the name of art, but the worst thing he could do while his crush is sleeping over is to imagine her naked. he feels the warmth spread across his cheeks, possibly reaching his ears.
“hey, breathe!” you giggle with a push of his shoulder. “you don’t have to answer that. sorry if it made you uncomfortable.”
“sorry, i was just surprised.”
he forces himself to laugh and act like the question isn’t putting him through a crisis in so many levels.
“i’ll let you finish your work.” you smile at him, pulling up the blanket.
please do and stop shaking up my heart.
“goodnight.”
“goodnight, ____.”
—
jungkook is still flustered by the conversation. since you opened up the topic, he did give it some serious thought. he thinks he wouldn’t mind if someone asked him to do it. he makes all of his negotiations and transactions online so everyone so far have been a stranger. as for the people he personally know, unless it’s his significant other, wouldn’t it be awkward?
anyway, the chances of it happening are low. stressing over it is pointless.
he needs to finish this commission and move on to the next, or else he’d be encumbered by the pile of deadlines. he’s making the most out of this vacation so he can save more money and work won’t have to interfere so often with his studies.
sometimes he doesn’t understand why he works so hard either. his family isn’t struggling financially. in fact, he’s studying to take over their businesses. his parents have been nothing but kind and supportive, but he is never compelled to ask them for money. he feels this strong and all-consuming need to prove himself as capable and independent. nothing compares to the gratification of buying his wants and needs with the money he sacrificed his blood, sweat, and tears for. he can’t stop himself.
“i can’t sleep…” a quiet murmur reaches his ears. “may i watch you draw?”
oh, he thought you’ve fallen asleep twenty minutes ago.
“of course,”
he is more than happy to move closer to give you a good view of his progress.
if there’s one thing he isn’t ashamed to boast about— it’s this.
it’s silent except for your breathing and the taps of his pen on the screen. he’s a tad self-conscious with the presence of engrossed eyes, but he would describe the atmosphere as peaceful.
“you’re such a great artist.” you whisper in awe.
jungkook can’t recall the last time he felt this simple yet profound type of joy.
—
true to your words, you did move as morning came.
jungkook wakes up to an empty bed and a commotion outside.
“____?”
he knocks on the bathroom door, not expecting it to swing open from the action. he takes his chances and peeks inside with another call of your name, but you’re still nowhere to be seen.
did you really leave without saying goodbye?
he sighs in disappointment. he was planning on buying you breakfast, too. he knew it. he should’ve made the invitation last night.
a series of loud thumps prompts him to scratch his head in irritation. he’s tired and sleep-deprived and he didn’t see his crush’s face first thing in the morning. the day has barely started and it’s already a bad one.
he opens the door with a considerable force, mouth running before his eyes could perceive his surroundings.
“could you guys turn it down? people are still slee-”
“jungkook! you’re awake.”
you jog over to him with a more cheery expression than last night’s. there’s no windows but the sun is shining over his face.
“sorry about the noise. i’m moving to a new unit.”
he can see that, but his brain remains in a muddled state. how did you make the arrangements overnight? he gapes at the men hauling your things to your new apartment.
“1309?” he exclaims.
“yeah,” you shyly reply. “it’s the only vacant one left.”
almost but not quite. does he have the right to complain? you’d be one door away.
he’s fucking ecstatic.
if he just sets aside the fact that it took a ghastly ghost encounter for the stars to align.
the wrinkles on his forehead disappear and become crinkles by his eyes, accompanied by an excited beam.
“should we feed them together then grab breakfast after?”
—
time passes by too fast for jungkook’s liking. summer vacation ended a month ago and he’s back to busting his ass off at the university. he misses the days and nights when the only thing he was going insane about is you.
what’s taking you so long to reply? did he say something stupid? does he look nice? smell nice? are you crying again? that ghost isn’t bothering you again, is he?
now that he needs to focus on something less interesting, say studying taxation and business law for subsequent long quizzes tomorrow, he’s back to crushing cans of energy drinks.
fuck, he misses you.
your purple hair tie is still wrapped around the knob of his bathroom sink faucet and he keeps forgetting to give it back to you. you make him nervous but he forgets he ever felt that way after five minutes with you. he craves to be connected with you on a more intimate level. he wants to be more than just a neighbor you make small talk with, over text. he wants to be more than a friend you sometimes eat with, on your days off. but he likes you so much that he can be content with the way things are, so long as it means you won’t go further away.
he’s absolutely pumped to hear his friends berate him for being stupid enough to enjoy the bare minimum from a woman.
an email notification interrupts his intense cramming session with his ipad and his illegally downloaded ebooks.
No Name
Subject: IMPORTANT! READ ME!
snack break at the aquarium?
he already has a strong inkling on who the sender could be; he clicks the email address and unsurprisingly, it says that it’s you.
did you seriously go out of your way to email him because he told you that he was going to keep his phone turned off while studying?
ridiculous.
so cute and ridiculous.
—
“i brought your favorite.” you meekly present your gift to jungkook. “uh, actually i’m not sure if it’s your favorite. but it’s become mine since you gave it to me.”
jungkook gapes at the bag of his favorite gummies sitting on his lap. just for comparison, the packet he gave you that day you first met came from his pocket. this one is almost as wide as his thighs slightly spread apart.
but most importantly, what did you just say?
“y-you didn’t throw it away?”
“what are you saying?” you pout, a little hurt by the question. “why would i throw it away?”
“you should’ve. you can’t just accept food from strangers!”
he was being pretty before. he humbly admits that. he just wanted an excuse to bring you up so he whined about it for weeks, but he was never genuinely upset. not specifically about that, anyway.
“why are you so upset?” you match the rise of his voice. “i’m fine and we ended up being friends. now say ‘thank you’ and open it!”
“ah, sure-” he panics, fumbling with the zigzag edges of the packaging. you were kind of hot for that. “thank you! this was seriously so thoughtful of you.”
you nod in satisfaction, stealing a gummy worm the second that the plastic is torn open. “you’re welcome!”
—
“i should stop eating.” jungkook mumbles to himself, chewing the other half of his nth gummy worm of the night.
“yeah,” you agree, pulling your hand away from the bag with an impressive show of restraint. “we should.”
the two of you probably look bizarre in the eyes of strangers, particularly those who have seen you one too many nights admire the golden creatures like you’re being hypnotized and nothing else in the world matters. jungkook never knows what’s running in your head, but to him, these moments are all about being beside you. the loud beating of his heart could be attributed to the caffeine, or the bare skin of your knees touching and no one daring to move.
“the tank feels…” there is a delay as you search for the appropriate word. “dull. can’t there be more variety of plants?”
“i tried,” he laughs at the funny memory you evoked. “when i came back the next day, two of them already ate everything.”
you gasp. “everything? is that normal?”
he opens his mouth to speak, but you unknowingly interrupt him with a raise of your hand.
“okay, i’m searching on naver.”
jungkook behaves for the fifteen minutes that follow, sneaking a peek at your phone screen every now and then with squinted eyes. you read fast, and your knees shake when you have to think hard. they’re small things. they don’t matter that much. but they’re still parts of your entirety which he is to be well-aquainted with.
“according to this person, we can try giving them marimo moss balls to play with… and hmmm-” you hum, lips puckering into a pout. “then for plants, anubias and java ferns?”
“i still know the address of the place i bought the plants from before. we can go when you’re free.” he offers, jumping on the opportunity to spend time with you outside of this building.
“you free sunday?”
“is the afternoon alright? i have to go to uni in the morning.”
please say yes.
“sure, that works.”
he breaks into a triumphant smile.
yes!
—
jungkook has been looking forward to this day all week. he breezed through work and college, motivated to finish all his tasks so he could enjoy his time with you without any worries. he knows it’s not a date, but anyone can be excited to meet up with a friend.
“you look pretty.” he smiles, breaking the silence in the elevator.
“you can barely see my face.”
“i see it!”
your nonchalance slowly fades, seemingly replaced by unease, which confuses jungkook. you put on a white face mask from the pocket of your hoodie before facing him.
“now you don’t!” you banter with him playfully.
“too late,” he sticks his tongue out. “i can draw it from memory.”
this is your usual day outfit, a basic classic. a hoodie paired with shorts and sneakers. the face mask is part of it too. in a crowd, you could be anyone, even him, if only your hair doesn’t stand out among the neutrals. he likes it. he likes how you match outfits without trying to. you get more dressed up at night, which makes sense since you go to work.
“so you can draw me even if i flash you just once?”
scandalized, he almost chokes on his own spit. “____!”
“i’m joking!” you giggle.
“no, please do it.” he encourages you in jest.
that earns him a slap on the face. he touches the affected area. it didn’t hurt at all, you did it with a light hand, but he gapes at you dumbstruck.
“you can joke about it but i can’t?!”
you only laugh at his reaction. he also imagines that he looks funny. not long after, the elevator opens and you drag him out by his hand.
—
the cashier pushes back your extended hand. “sorry, we don’t accept card payments.”
while you pout sadly at the rejection, jungkook rushes to grab the wallet that you made him hide because this was your ‘idea.’
“here,” he puts down the paper bills on the counter.
“i’ll pay you back.”
“no, it’s fine. my treat for the fishes since they’d probably eat them anyway.” he jokes to comfort you.
“yeah, okay,” you respond listlessly. “then i’ll buy our dinner. samgyupsal?”
“call!”
jungkook guesses you have come to know him well too.
“okay, let’s go.”
he invites you to leave after the cashier gives him the paper bag. as you walk out together, your shoulders brush, and for a brief moment, he assumes that you would cling to him. he doesn’t know why he keeps doing that. you never do. he continues walking and he doesn’t even notice that he has left you behind.
the door is half-open and he’s stood in place, eyes scanning the store like he just lost a child at the mall.
of course, he finds you hunched over infront of an aquarium inhabited by a betta fish.
“do you want to get it?” he whispers, mindful of scaring away the little creature. “i don’t think i’ve seen a purple fish before.”
not even in art or television. it’s strange.
he feels your eyes glued to him. persuaded by curiosity, he turns his cheek.
his breathing stops when he sees your face so close.
he doesn’t know you removed your mask. you’re staring at him so intensely with those beautiful eyes, sparkling with the reflections of light. you’re dazzling, and intimidating, and it’s doing dangerous things to his heart.
a little nudge and he’d give you an eskimo kiss.
if there’s a perfect romantic moment to kiss your lips, he’d say it’s right now.
“it’s not the fish i want.”
he doesn’t hear you.
do you see how entranced he is by your lips?
“the shipwreck, it’s beautiful.”
his eyes chase the sight of them when you return your gaze to the aquarium.
“like you,” the words slip out without thought.
—
a soft smile tugs at the corner of your lips. you blink away the tears and you stomach the heavy in your chest. you know jungkook is still staring at you with those bedroom eyes and there was no deep thought behind his compliment. will he still find you beautiful when he sees who you are beyond the surface?
“like me…”
—
after dinner, you and jungkook planted the plants and installed the shipwreck you wanted. it was not cheap, but it was worth it, if it meant seeing your priceless joy. he carries around more cash than necessary when he goes out with you. he’s praying that you didn’t see his sigh of relief when the waiter said the restaurant accepts card. he doesn’t know much about your circumstances, why you stopped going to school and why you opted to work instead, but he knows you lead a lifestyle different from his. he’s not ignorant. he estimates your bag is five times more expensive than his ipad. but with how you’re soundly sleeping on his shoulder, he can say that it’s justified.
he learns that you’ve been working straight for fifteen days, with 10-20 hours of overtime per week. you practically live there. he can feel the weight of your shoulders on him, which is why he doesn’t have the heart to wake you up despite his bladder’s need of the bathroom. this is probably the closest he will ever be to you. he can’t be the one to walk away in this memory.
the humming noise of the aquarium’s filter fills the silence.
it always feels like he’s dreaming when he’s with you.
“after all that money we spent, we should really name them now.”
you release the yawn you were holding back while speaking, head dropping on his shoulder. jungkook stiffens at the suddenness of the physical contact, but then relaxes thanks to the tranquilizing scent of your shampoo— it has to be coconut, with some sort of flowers that perfectly compliment it.
“have any ideas?”
“yes,” he hears the smile in your voice. “you know those two who have similar hues?”
he hums, body vibrating underneath your soft cheek.
“tangerine, and then clementine for the smaller one.”
“those are cute names.”
“you like them?”
“yes, they really sound like siblings!”
“okay, i won.” you shrug your shoulders as far as they can go, as if you’re so pleased you could burst. “that’s settled. your turn!”
“hmmm…”
he unconsciously bounces his knee as he racks his brain, which you swat with a disapproving noise, mumbling “making me dizzy!”
“sorry,” he winces.
your giggles are infectious, bringing tickles somewhere deep inside of him, butterflies in his stomach coming alive like spring only arrived.
“shouldn’t we at least have one named after a flower?” he suggests. “hold on, i’ll search for good ones.”
“let’s give the flower name to the yellow one. she stands out, like a flower.”
you blink wearily, a soft smile amidst the haze, sent to the yellow fish who swam closer as if it heard itself being called.
he reads the list of yellow flower names out loud.
“sunflower, daisy, azalea… for-forthysia? lily, cosmos, dahlia-”
“dahlia-” you quietly repeat the name in awe, clinging to his arm to steal his attention.
“dahlia it is!”
“i wish dahlia would live forever.” you sigh, haunted by the inevitable.
“dahlia will outlive us.” he chuckles.
“i’ll protect her from the afterlife.”
he squeezes your hand tenderly. “i’ll be right there with you.”
and with unspoken mutual understanding, your fingers intertwine. neither one of you wants to let go, he feels it strongly and he is sure of it. his cheeks may very well begin to ache with how elated he is.
“that’s three… you know, i saw someone on youtube who named their fish coral. i thought it was a very pretty name. how about that?”
“i like it,” you chirp. “i kind of wish it was my name.”
“should i just give it to you?”
you lift your head a little, sleepy eyes connecting with his. “do you know someone who has the same name as me?”
“no,” he slowly shakes his head. “you’re the only one.”
“let’s give it to the one with the longest tail.”
your head drops on his shoulder, as if it’s where it belongs.
“i like being the only one.”
you fell asleep seconds after that.
he found entertainment in watching as much as the goldfishes playing around with the shipwreck. it’s a wooden ship split in two, with cracks and holes big enough for them to swim in and out of. even the sails have holes. the drawings on them are unrecognizable beyond his imagination.
it’s quite charming, but he doesn’t understand what’s special about it the way you do.
a teardrop drips from the tip of your nose and crashes on his arm, but he doesn’t feel it.
eventually, it dries, and is erased from history.
#jungkook au#jungkook one shot#jungkook fic#jungkook fanfic#jungkook drabble#jungkook scenario#jungkook imagine#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#bts fluff#bts reaction
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rumour has it | LN4
pairings: lando norris x model!fem!oc summary: everyone knows Lando has been single for a while, but when fans start to notice too many coincidences involving him and a model, his relationship status suddenly becomes the center of attention.
landonorris posted to his story!

[caption 1; ✈️✈️] [caption 3; it's summer time babyyy]
irinakrausse posted to her story!

[caption 1; what time is it? summer time!] [caption 2; my serotonin levels right now📈📈]
lnfour

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lnfour besties who go on vacation together, stay together 🤜🤛
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user1 f1's greatest wag
user2 SAY IT LOUDER user3 apparently max has competition now👀 user4 user3 NEVER user5 user3 context??? user6 user5 according to f1twt lando is on vacation not only with friends and family but also with a model named irina user7user5 crazy people who assume that Lando and Irina are together just because they are both on a yacht at sea🤦♀️
team_quadrant things we love to see 🫶
user8 aww literal boyfriends
user9 i guess not only "besties" are on vacation with lando right now huh ☕
user10 i'm gone for 1 minute and now lando is supposedly dating a new girl??? bro give me a break
user11 nah they're not dating, i don't even think they're in the same place tbh 😂😂 user12 user11 i've been saying this!!! people see them on a yacht and at sea and assume they're next to each other lol
user13 can we focus on lando and max matching outfits?? 😻
user14 they're soulmates if u ask me user15 best duo for real 🧡
irinakrausse

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irinakrausse We got no troubles, life is the bubbles under the sea🧜♀️
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user1 i'm here for f1twt but bro i didn't expect her to be so beautiful like omg??
user2 RIGHT??? i think i'm in love now 😍 user3 i was ready to be jealous of her but now i'm jealous of lando tbh user4 user3 MOOD. SHE'S SO PRETTY
user5 oh lando i totally get you now 😳
user6 man has incredible taste honestly
user7 i'm no better than a man omg
lailahasanovic what a woman🥵🔥
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user8 laila sweety what are u doing here?? user9 user8 u new here? laila and irina have been friends for a long time lol user10 user9 when people find out that Irina has more wag friends they're gonna lose their minds😂
user11 lando this lando that but IRINA HOW CAN YOU BE SO PRETTY???? 😍😍
user12 not lando liking the pic😂
user13 he's been liking irina's pics for months now, this is nothing new haha user14 i'm more surprised to see ria in the likes tbh
user15 yeah yeah but WHAT ABOUT KIKA??? user16 user15 they've worked together
user17 STUNNING 😍😍😍
user18 JUST ONE CHANCE IRINA PLEASE😭🙏
landonorris

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landonorris aquaman who?
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user1 y'all he's mine go away
user2 get in line girl 🙄 user3 i'm afraid he's already taken user4 user3 WHAT DID I MISS?? user5 user4 girl where have u been the last week?😂 streets are sayin' he's on vacation with a model user6 user4 he's on vacation with friends, don't believe dumb rumors
user7 SIR I WASN'T PREPARED OMG😳😳
user8 liked by irina krausse 👀
user9 she's trying so hard to be relevant
user10 user9 ... it's just a like, jeez
user11 i would kill for that smile 🥹
user12 FR SO PRETTY user13 lando's smile >>>>>> user14 okay but now imagine that irina was the one who took the photo and lando is looking at her like this🥹 user15 user14 STOP my heart would melt 😩 user16 user14 I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING
mclaren lookin' good 🔥🔥
user17 admin being a total mood
danielricciardo cool pics, can i borrow the photographer?😇
landonorris no. user18 DANNY WHAT DO YOU KNOW
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irinakrausse

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irinakrausse already missing my vitamin sea 🌞
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user1 WOAH
user2 my sentiments exactly
lilymhe it should be illegal to look this good in public💘
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user3 LILY?????? user4 is this a way of welcoming the new wag? 👀 user5 user4 this clout chaser is NOT a wag user6 user5 jealous much? lol user7 lily honey tell us what u know pleeeease
user8 i wanna be lando so bad right now 😳
user9 she looks like luisa or is it just me?
user10 I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed the resemblance🫣 user11 lando clearly has a type 😅 user12 luisa is way more beautiful than this girl. user13 user12 there's no need to compare two gorgeous women, grow up
user14 A WARNING NEXT TIME PLEASE i wasn't ready for the last pic 🥵
user15 this is such a mood tbh user16 and lando is getting all that i can't believe his luck 😫
user17 SO PRETTY OMG 😍😍
user18 is that lando's hand in the 5th pic or am i crazy?
user19 IT'S HIS BRACELET 100% user20 you're crazy indeed
irinakrausse posted to her story!

[caption 1; work time!] [caption 2; 📸] [caption 3; 😴😴]
| landonorris replied to your story

landonorris

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landonorris CARLANDO PODIUM BABY!! 🏆
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mclaren EVERYBODY LOVED THAT 🔥🔥
user1 let's go team!!! user2 PLEASE MCLAREN WE NEED THEM TOGETHER AGAIN😭😭 user3 ADMIN BEING A TOTAL MOOD RN user4 vamooooos!!!!! user5 ADMIN IS ONE OF US ❤️🧡
user6 massive win for us Carlando girlies 😭💖
user7 I'M SO HAPPY OMG user8 my carlando heart is full of joy rn 😭❤️🩹
user9 YOU GUYS SLAYEDDDDD ❤️🔥❤️🔥
carlossainz55 VAMOS, CABRÓN 👊🏆
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user10 carlando nation we really won 🥹 user11 BEST DUO FR 🚀 user12 OUR BOYS ❤️🧡
team_quadrant i'm not crying, you are 😭😭
user13 are u crying?? hahaha... i think i'm crying! user14 user13 elite reference right there
user15 best podium of the season!!! 🫶
irinakrausse That was a smooth operation indeed! 🫡🏆
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user16 so we got carlando podium AND irina's first comment on lando's ig? HOW ARE WE FEELING CHAT? user17 user16 OH WE REALLY WON user18 hard launch is around the corner y'all 👀 user19 user18 *pretends to be shocked* 😂
user20 SO PROUD OF YOU TWO 🧡🧡

irinakrausse posted to her story!

[caption 1; rise and shine, everyone!] [caption 2; someone's back🧡]
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lando.jpg 🦄❄️
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user1 HE POSTED IRINA!!!!!
user2 it was about damn time! user3 bro really said i'm in love and i want everyone to know that user4 user3 and i respect him for it 😂 user5 user3 i mean it's irina, who could blame him? user6 is that really irina? user7 user6 they're in the same place, you can confirm it in Irina's stories
user8 5th slide is my new roman empire
user9 the way i just SCREAMED omg user10 wasn't expecting that at all 😂
user11 he didn't win the championship but won at love🫶 how cute
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user12 HE LIKED IT OMG user13 that like it's all the confirmation i need
user14 bestie don't be shy and drop more pics with irina 🤭
user15 are we gonna talk about the unicorn helmet or what?
user16 that's high fashion if u ask me user17 i'll never understand how irina fell in love with lando when he has this kind of looks😂 user18 user17 yeah but have you seen lando? 🫦 user19 user17 she saw he was rich and fell for him lol user20 user19 ugh haters are not allowed in here, go away🤮
irinakrausse posted to her story!

[caption 1; white paradise🤍] [caption 2; 🤍✨]
landonorris posted to his story!

[caption 2; 🤍✨] [caption 3; ☃️⛷️]
irinakrausse

liked by landonorris, lailahasanovic, carmenmmundt, and 201,366 others!
irinakrausse ❄️
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user1 the real question is: can lando fight?
user2 one day you're fighting for lando and the next you're fighting WITH lando user3 user2 that's the ✨irina effect✨
user4 this woman is unreal 😍😍
user5 lando watch out cause you and i are not friends
user6 so we're all in love with irina right? user7 user6 of course we are! user8 user6 i mean just look at her! 😻
user9 irina please drop your hair routine for the girlies🙏
user10 c'mon guys!!! new year has to bring their relationship confirmation (i'm probably delulu but whatever)
user11 we've waited enough, i can't do this anymore😩 user12 we need to keep manifesting 🕯️🕯️
user13 STUNNING 😍
landonorris do you wanna build a snowman?
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user14 alright bro's in love 😂 user15 sir u need to keep workin on these pickup lines user16 lando no-rizz strikes again user17 user16 i meaaan irina loves disney movies, so i guess he does have the rizz 🤷♀️
user18 MOTHER IS MOTHERING 🔥🔥🔥
user19 okay but who was the photographer? 👀
user20 sis we all know the answer to that 😏
landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, pierregasly, irinakrausse, and 899,328 others!
landonorris Happy birthday to the most intelligent, funny and gorgeous woman I've ever met. Love you, darling🧡
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user1 Y'ALL IT'S HAPPENING OMFG
user2 MOM AND DAD 🗣️🗣️
user3 IT'S FINALLY OFFICIAL
maxfewtrell woah hold on, irina was your gf?
georgerussell63 WAIT WHAT carlossainz55 WAIT WHAT alex_albon WAIT WHAT maxverstappen1 WAIT WHAT danielricciardo WAIT WHAT charles_leclerc WAIT WHAT landonorris y'all stfu 🙄 user4 LOOOOOOL user5 it was the worst secret ever kept 😂
user6 alexa play that should be me (u two are so cute tho😻)
user7 i wanna be sad but i'm actually so happy for them🥹 user8 user7 MOOD they're adorable 😍
user9 lando you lucky man 😳
user10 they're both lucky tbh user11 user10 hottest couple ever fr 🥵
user12 ARE YOU FUCKING SEEING THIS CHAT WHATJSNFJKSNDKFFNCN
user13 YESSSSSJSNFKS IM SO HAPPY I WANNA CRY user14 we've waited MONTHS but it was so worth it🥹💗
mclaren QUEEN AND KING 👑💘
user15 admin is one of us, no doubt
user16 last pic it's so cute i can'tttt🥺
user17 lando is really setting a high standard here
user18 FR irinakrausse where did u find this man? asking for a friend user19 i need a lando in my life like rn
irinakrausse alexa play london boy by taylor swift
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irinakrausse oh and i love u moreeee🥰❤️🔥 user21 CUTEST COUPLE EVER user22 can u two adopt me please?🥺 user23 AND SHE'S A SWIFTIE? irina just became my fav wag 🛐
user24 ok ok but does this mean we'll get more of Irina at the races this year or what?
user25 i mean i hope so irinakrausse you'll have to wait and see (yes) user26 YAY OMFG I CANT WAIT !!!!!!
author's note: hope y'all enjoyed it! would love to know your thoughts <3 btw feel free to leave any request 🤍
#lando norris#lando norris x oc#lando norris x reader#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x you#lando norris f1#lando norris imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 social media au#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fic#f1 fanfiction#f1#formulaone#fanfic#fanfiction#female!reader#mclaren f1#f1 smau
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OC Pride Themed Ask Game
It's 1am and I'm denying the Horrors that await me. Please remember: If you REBLOG from someone, SEND THEM AN ASK (not applicable to me, please don't ask me my own questions /lh) -------------------------------------------------------
How sheltered was your OC from the idea of LGBTQ+ relationships when they were younger? How has it impacted their relationship with themselves?
Does/has your OC struggle(d) with internalized homophobia? How have they learned to cope, if at all?
When did your OC realize that they may be different from other people?
Who was your OC most comfortable talking to about their feelings?
Is your OC out? How did their parents/guardians handle it? Siblings? If they're selectively out, who are they out to?
Does your OC celebrate pride? How? Would they ever buy pride merch?
How much of your OC's identity is reliant on their gender identity/sexuality?
What's a stereotype about your OC's orientation that they hate? What's one they (accidentally) live up to?
What/when was their first queer relationship? How did it go? If they're aro, have they tried a romantic relationship before? Or only QPRs?
What's something your OC knows now, (in regards to their sexuality/orientation), that they wish they could have clarified or guided their younger self through?
How would your OC handle someone coming out to them?
How would your OC deal with a homophobe? Would this reaction be different if the person was targeting someone else?
What pronouns does your OC use? If someone (accidentally) misgendered them, would they correct them?
How would your OC describe their sexuality/gender to a kid?
How long did it take for your OC to accept themselves? What factors played into it?
Is your OC an activist for LGBTQ+ rights? How engaged are they?
Would your OC ever participate in drag? What would their stage name/personality be?
Was there a significant impact on emotional/mental/spiritual health after your OC realized they were LGBTQ+?
Does your OC deal with body dysmorphia? How do they cope?
How much does your OC know/understand about the gender/sexuality spectrum?
Has your OC ever had a friend of the same gender that they had feelings for, but never admitted to? (or been rejected after admission?)
Has your OC's fashion sense changed since coming out? How so?
How does your OC's ideal body differ from the one they currently have?
Did your OC identify differently when they first came out as opposed to how they identify now?
Does your OC celebrate their "coming out" anniversary? How so?
Has your OC made any non-surgical body modifications to help embrace their identity? (Piercings, tattoos, hair dye/cut, etc.)
Did your OC ever get jealous over other people before coming out? How did that translate into their day to day lives?
Is your OC more likely to want a QPR or a romantic relationship?
If your OC plans on getting married one day, what are they, (and their partner(s)) wearing on their special day? (Feel free to elaborate on the whole event if you want to)
Does your OC ever deal with guilt for their "decision" to identify as they do? How do they cope with it?
Sorry if any of these are repetitive lol again its like 1am. Happy pride month lmao
Taglist: @tixdixl @galacticstationsblog @nemisisnemi @thehollowwriter @theleechyskrunkly @distant-velleity @elenauaurs @starry-night-rose @sunsmilu
As always, feel free to be added/removed
#v talks#twst#twisted wonderland#twst oc#ask game#oc ask game#pride month#pride ask game#lgbtq#lgbtq positivity#lgbt pride#pride#lgbtqia#lgbt#queer pride
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The holiday pretense -3-

Summary: Namjoon has never been a fan of the holidays. In fact, he could list more things that sucked about ‘The most wonderful time of the year’, than things that brought him joy. Yet, beneath his cynicism, a flicker of hope appeared this year, as the faint scent of homesickness hung in the air. Unfortunately, there’s one tiny little thing that keeps him from calling home- his lack of a girlfriend. But fear not; this holiday season, Namjoon’s smart mouth gets him in a situation where he has no choice but to approach you- his longtime friend and roommate- with an unexpected request. Pairing: Namjoon x f.reader Genre: fake-dating, friends to lovers/roommates to lovers au; crack, smut, fluff. Rating: explicit. Minors do not interact Warnings: every single trope in the book; but with a twist. Dialogue heavy. OC is really bad at lying. Things are slowly starting to unravel. Drinking and a drunken kiss Smut warnings: morning wood, hickeys. Word count: Chapter 3- 17k Credits: You already know @callmenoona25, is the reason I got back on track with this story. But what you may not know is the fact that she is also incredibly smart and creative, and brainstorming with her is one of the best things that could have happened to me✨ thank you for all your patience and help. Author's note: uh... so, the plan was to have this story completed by new years eve. funny how that worked out huh... but don't worry, we are closing in on the ending. Where we are standing now, there are just 2 more chapters to come. Because, lets be honest, how much more can these guys take?? part 1: here, part 2: here. part 3: reading, part 4: here
Oh, also, would anyone be interested in being added to a permanent tag list? I keep toying with the idea of making one, so if you're interested, hmu ig?
current tag lol @uniquetravelerone
Anyway. Merry Christmas?
You stirred tiredly, frowning at the sliver of light that had somehow managed to sneak through the only crack in the curtains and land directly in your eyes. It pulled you from your slumber far earlier than you deemed acceptable. With a soft groan, you tried to turn away, seeking solace from the intrusion—only to be stopped by a solid body pressed against you.
Namjoon’s arm was draped securely over your stomach, his hand having somehow wandered beneath your shirt during the night. The casual intimacy of the gesture jolted your groggy brain into overdrive, the last remnants of sleep dissolving in an instant.
You shifted again, this time cautiously, trying to gauge your situation, but the movement elicited a soft, low moan from Namjoon.
That’s when you felt it—his erection, firm and unmistakable, pressing against your ass. Your breath hitched instantly, the realization flooding through you in waves.
The warmth of his body pressed closely against yours, your legs tangled together, and the weight of his arm draped possessively over you made your heart pound violently against your ribcage. His hand, impossibly warm, splayed against your stomach, sending sparks of electricity skittering across your skin.
You bit your lip, utterly unsure of how to navigate the situation you found yourself in. Just as you began to plot your escape—or at least a way to breathe through the moment—Namjoon let out another sleepy sound, a low, gravelly hum that vibrated against your back. He shifted slightly, adjusting his hips, and with that movement, pressing his cock more firmly against your ass.
Heat surged to your cheeks, a wave of nervousness mingling with an undeniable spark of desire. Damn. He was big. You’ve always suspected as much, but now you knew.
And knowing only made the moment harder to ignore.
“Namjoon,” you whispered, your voice barely audible in the stillness of the room.
At the sound of his name, he stirred slightly, the grip on your waist tightening for a fleeting moment before he relaxed again. A sleepy mumble escaping his lips— something unintelligible, but the low timbre of his voice sent a shiver down your spine. You tried again, a little louder this time, but still soft enough not to startle him.
“Namjoon,” you repeated your heart thundering in your chest.
His response was a groggy grunt, and then, to your utter dismay—and maybe a little delight—he nuzzled his face against the back of your neck, the warmth of his breath ghosting over your skin.
Your face heat up even more at his senseless sleepy affection, and you struggled to cope with the current predicament that seemed to dawn only on you.
“Morning…” he mumbled, voice thick with sleep, his breath tickling the back of your neck.
“Uh, morning,” you managed to stammer, trying to keep your voice steady despite the sharp rise in your pulse. You weren’t sure whether to laugh, cry, or combust on the spot.
Namjoon didn’t seem fully awake yet, his hold on you tightening slightly as he murmured something that sounded like ‘gimme five more minutes’ against your shoulder. You placed your hand over his, gently trying to pry it off your stomach, but the action only made him tighten his hold and let out a contented sigh.
This was supposed to be simple. You’ve done this before—cuddled up during movie nights, casual and comfortable— but never has his hand wandered beneath your shirt, never before did you get to feel him quite like you were right now.
You were hyper-aware of every single point of contact, the heat of his body, the steady rise and fall of his chest against your back, the very… noticeable evidence of his arousal still pressing insistently against you.
You struggled, torn between waking him fully or hoping he might shift away on his own.
But after a few seconds, seeing that he made absolutely no move to let you go, you ventured awkwardly.
“Are you…comfortable?”
He hummed softly, his fingers brushing absentmindedly against your stomach. “Mmh…yeah,” he muttered, still half-asleep.
Then, as if realization hit him like an avalanche, his body tensed.
“Fuck-” His arm jerked away as if he’d been burned, and he rolled onto his back with a groan, the sudden movement pulling the blanket askew. A rush of cold air immediately slipped under the blanket, biting at your skin and making you instantly regret every choice you made that led to this moment.
“My god.” He muttered, dragging a hand over his red face. “I-I didn’t mean-”
“It’s okay,” you said quickly, trying to ease the tension, your own face burning. “You were asleep, it happens.”
Namjoon let out a nervous laugh, still covering his face. “No, no, it’s not okay! I-I didn’t mean to…”
“Really, it’s fine,” you reassured, trying to lighten the mood despite your racing heart. “It’s quite normal for men your age, right? Means you’re healthy and everything’s-”
“Oh my god, please stop talking.” Namjoon groaned, dragging both hands down his face as if that would somehow erase him from existence.
“What? It’s true! It’s just biology. Natural instinct-”
“Please stop,” he interrupted, peeking at you from between his fingers, his ears now the colour of ripe tomatoes. “You’re not helping.”
“Okay, okay,” you relented, biting your lip to stifle the awkward laughter threatening to spill out. You turned your gaze to the ceiling, willing your own embarrassment to disappear, though the heat on your cheeks lingered stubbornly.
The two of you stayed quiet, the silence stretching long enough for the rhythmic sound of Namjoon’s breathing to steady and blend seamlessly with your own. The stillness should have been calming, but instead, it magnified the wild thrum of your pulse in your ears, a constant reminder of just how awkward this was.
You waited, hoping your heart would slow, that the tension coiling in your chest would dissipate. But the longer the silence stretched, the heavier it felt, like a fragile thread about to snap.
Finally, unable to bear it any longer, you cleared your throat softly.
“Seriously, though,” you said gently, “It’s fine. I’m not mad or anything.”
Namjoon let out a sharp exhale, finally dropping his hands to look over at you, his expression hovering somewhere between mortification and gratitude.
“You’re way too calm about this,” he said, shaking his head slightly, his voice still carrying the remnants of self-consciousness.
“Yeah, well,” you started, struggling to inject some nonchalance in your tone. “One of us has to be.”
A small, self-deprecating smile tugged at his lips as he sat up, running a hand through his already tousled hair. “You’re not going to let me live this down, are you?”
“Never!” you shot back with a grin, finally feeling the strange strain between you start to give.
“Great,” he muttered, shooting you a playful glare before pushing himself to his feet. With his back to you, he stretched lazily, his broad shoulders flexing with the movement.
“I’ll take a cold shower first, though, if you don’t mind.” He added, his voice carrying bit of nonchalance and amusement as he glanced over his shoulder at you.
You could only watch as he walked out of the room, his broad shoulders and confident stride disappearing through the doorway.
The moment he was out of sight, you let out a long, muffled groan, flopping back on the bed and burying your face in the pillow.
A swirl of emotions crashed over you —embarrassment, amusement, a flicker of regret, longing and something dangerously close to arousal. It was all too unsettling to fully acknowledge, leaving you in a confusing storm of emotions, their weight pressing down on you as heavily as his arm had mere moments ago.
The warmth of his presence lingered in the room, stubborn and inescapable. It clung to you, refusing to fade, making it impossible for your heart to actually slow down.
Get a grip, you told yourself. This doesn’t mean anything. It was an accident. A biological response. Nothing more.
The sound of the shower starting up jolted you out from your thoughts. You turned your head towards the closed bathroom door, watching as a faint curl of steam began to escape from beneath it.
Stop thinking about it, you scolded yourself, but the image refused to leave. Namjoon under the spray of cold water, his head tipped back, rivulets of water streaming down his toned back… the thought send a fresh wave of warmth to your cheeks, and you buried your face in your hands.
No! Not this again. Saying the words out loud might not help, but you muttered them under your breath anyway, as if sheer force of will could be enough to break the cycle. You pressed the heels of your hands into your eyes. Focus on something else. Fast.
But it was already too late. Your mind had betrayed you.
The moment from earlier replayed in vivid, torturous detail—the solid weight of his arm draped over you, his body pressed so closely against yours, the warmth of his hand resting so casually beneath your shirt. And then—as if your brain was determined to sabotage you further—the undeniable sensation of his cock, firm and insistent against you…
It all made it too easy for your mind to conjure images of him now, under the stream of water— each drop of water tracing its path down the expanse of his trim chest, the sharp lines of his collarbone, the defined strength in his thighs. Good god, his thighs.
And his shoulders, broad and commanding, perfect for digging your nails into. The curve of his arms, strong enough to hold you steady or pull you closer, each movement carrying that quiet confidence you couldn’t help but admire
You groaned again, louder this time, pressing your hands harder against your face as though you could scrub away the onslaught of thoughts. But the images lingered, refusing to simply be dismissed.
You haven’t felt this way since the early stages of your friendship, back when you harboured that stupid, fleeting crush.
Frustration bubbled to the surface—at yourself, at your stupidly overactive imagination, at the fact that none of this should even matter.
You were supposed to be pretending. Just pretending. So why the hell did it suddenly feel so real?
Why did he make you feel this way? His small, casual gestures—the brush of his hand against yours, the quiet laughter, even the soft mumbling in his sleep—were no longer just innocent moments. They were charged, electrifying, leaving you breathless and unsteady.
And the way he held you close when in public, the warmth and ease of it, like it was the most natural thing in the world. His genuine compliments that seemed to see straight through you. The way his gaze lingered, soft and intent, like you were the only person in the room. It was all maddening.
Unfamiliar.
Overwhelming.
Completely messing with your head.
The sound of water running in the background didn’t help. Because now you suddenly wondered if he was just standing there, letting the cold-water wash away the awkwardness, or if his thoughts were just as mangled as yours. Was he even thinking about you?
God, was he touching himself? He must, after all—
Stop it! You shook your head again, forcing yourself to breathe deeply.
This was Namjoon. The same Namjoon you’ve known for so long, your friend. Not someone who had any business making your heart pound like this or set your skin alight with a simple look your way.
This was the same Namjoon who forgot to take store receipts and napkins out of his jeans before tossing them the washer. The same Namjoon who broke a mug without even realizing it, too distracted by a conversation to notice the mess he made across the carpet.
The same Namjoon who tripped over his own shoelaces, then laughed about it like an adorable dork instead of getting embarrassed.
The sound of the water shutting off abruptly jolted you out of your spiralling thoughts, and you could hear him moving around in the bathroom. Your heart picking up again at the realization that maybe you weren’t that ready to face him again. You shut your eyes tight, willing yourself to calm down. Act normal. Nothing weird happened.
The door creaked open, and the fresh, earthy scent of his Cool Water shower gel wafted into the room. It hit you like a wave, freezing you in place as if your body had decided to betray you entirely.
Namjoon stepped out, his damp hair tousled messily, droplets still clinging to the strands and sliding down his neck. A loose t-shirt clung to his broad shoulders, the fabric soft and slightly damp, hinting at the toned frame beneath. Grey sweatpants rested low on his hips, completing the picture with an ease that felt unfair.
Your cheeks burned as a clear, unwelcome image flickered through your mind: your lips dragging along his damp skin, leaving a slow, heated path cross his neck, down his chest...
You’re hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. You need to move out.
Namjoon walked over; his footsteps soft but deliberate. And before you could fully compose yourself, he leaned over your body to retrieve his phone from the nightstand.
The sudden closeness was dizzying, and he seemed completely oblivious to your internal meltdown. The warmth of his presence enveloped you, and the clean, minty scent of his toothpaste rendered you nearly catatonic.
“You good?” he asked, his voice low, almost too casual, his gaze meeting yours.
“Yeah, yeah. Just... why are you still soaked?” you blurted, scrambling for any topic to defuse the tension threatening to suffocate you.
He glanced down at his damp shirt with a lopsided smile. “Didn’t feel like drying off properly. Why? Is it bothering you?”
Was it? Absolutely. But not for the reason he thought.
“It’s the middle of winter, Namjoon. You’ll catch a cold,” you shot back, your voice laced with feigned exasperations, hoping it masked the warmth creeping up your neck.
Namjoon raised an eyebrow, the barest flicker of amusement crossing his face as if he was holding back a smirk. “If you say so.” His tone was maddeningly calm, laced with a playful edge that made your stomach flip.
“I didn’t know you cared that much about me,” he added, his voice low, teasing and entirely too smug for your liking.
You opened your mouth to retort, but your brain short-circuited under the weight of his gaze—soft, warm, and far too knowing. It was as if he could see right through your attempt at deflection, straight into the chaos swirling beneath the surface.
“Someone has to,” you managed, crossing your arms in a last-ditch effort to look unaffected.
Namjoon didn’t move right away. He stayed above you for moment longer, his gaze fixed on your face, studying you with an expression you couldn’t quite place. The intensity of it made your cheeks heat again, through you tried your best to not show it.
Finally, he stepped back with a shrug, breaking the tension like a twig. “I’ll go make us some coffee,” he said, slipping his phone into his pocket as he turned toward the door.
You exhaled shakily the moment he disappeared from view, your body sinking into the mattress, and you pressed a hand to your heart in a futile attempt to calm your racing heart.
Why did every interaction with him feel like a minefield these days?
But the warmth he’d left behind refused to dissipate, nestling deep in the space between your ribs, even as you stepped into the bathroom. Turning the water to its coldest setting, you braced yourself, hoping the icy spray could maybe douse the fire he’d unknowingly ignited within you.
Goddamn it! You were an adult, perfectly capable of rationalizing your feelings. And logically, there was no reason to feel anything in particular about Namjoon.
Sure, he was effortlessly charming when he flirted, his sharp mind and quick wit made it hard not to admire him. And yes, the way his eyes seemed to burn into you, holding your gaze a little too long, was hard to ignore. But that was part of the act—part of the pretense.
And yet, there was something undeniably intoxicating about being on the receiving end of his affection, even if it was just for show. You’ve always secretly wondered what it would be like to be one of the women he pursued—those brilliant, breathtaking women who had him wrapped around their fingers. The ones who inspired grand, romantic gestures from him, the kind that left him stuttering and unsure in a way so unlike his usual self.
But that wasn’t you. It wasn’t then, and it certainly isn’t now.
You were here just to help him get through the holidays, nothing less, nothing more. The plan was already laid out, perfectly planned, and you couldn’t afford to let this mess with your head now.
Two days. That’s all you had left. And after that? Things would go back to normal.
Or at least, that’s what you told yourself. Even though a small part of you wondered if that was even possible anymore.
You weren’t sure if you could go back to being just friends after this. Not when your heart was starting to stake its claim, not when every interaction felt charged with something you didn’t dare name. You’d gotten so used to the feeling of butterflies every time he was near. So much so that the idea of casually brushing against him, of not leaning into him like it was second nature, now seemed like punishment.
The holidays were meant to be temporary, a brief interlude where you could play pretend and then walk away unscathed. But the closer you got to the end of the week, the more you realized that this wasn’t something you could simply walk away from.
You were toeing the edge, willing to risk everything you’d worked so hard to bury in the past few years.
Sure, there had been moments when the lines blurred, but those were fleeting, right?
Like that little jealous outburst at the bakery… God why did you do that?
The weight of your emotions were suffocating, pressing against your chest like an anchor, dragging you further into uncertainty. Each rational thought told you to pull back, to maintain the boundaries that had kept your friendship safe and intact for years. But all those same boundaries now felt paper-thin, stretched to their limits under the strain of what this holiday had brought to the surface.
You had come so far in keeping your distance, convincing yourself that you were fine just being his friend, his roommate—just a temporary solution for the week.
But now…now it all felt like you were playing a dangerous game.
And it wasn’t just the casual touches or fleeting glances that unravelled you. It was all those quiet moments in between—when no one was watching, when it was just the two of you, and he looked at you as if you mattered in a way that went beyond pretense. It was in the way he held you so tightly at night. In the way he sought you out in a room full of people, his gaze always searching for yours, making sure you are comfortable, as if you were his anchor, too.
And that is what made this dangerous.
Namjoon had a way of making everything feel real, even the things that were supposed to be pretend.
Every part of you wanted to scream at yourself to stop, to push him away and hold on to the semblance of normalcy you’d worked so hard to maintain. Yet, with every passing moment, you felt that distance closing, felt the walls you’d built around your heart slowly crumbling under his unspoken promises. Especially since he had this knack for being affectionate with you when there was no logical reason you could point to. No audience. No performance. Just you, him, and an unspoken need neither of you seemed to acknowledge.
When you finally felt cold enough to forget why you were so unreasonably horny at seven in the morning, you retreated back into the bedroom to get dressed. You tugged on a soft hoodie, the fabric warm and grounding against your skin. It didn’t erase the tension coiled in your chest, but at least it gave you something to hold onto.
The scent of coffee wafted through the air as you opened the door, a fleeting reminder of normalcy—or at least a distraction from the mess in your heart.
Namjoon was in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, scrolling through his phone. His mom, still barely awake, moved around the kitchen, preparing the tools she needed for breakfast. A fresh mug of coffee sat on the table, steam curling invitingly from it.
“Hey, love," Namjoon greeted simply, his voice warm and casual, the corner of his lips curling into a soft smile, his dimples making a devastatingly brief appearance. He gestured towards the steaming cup he’d prepared, his gaze lingering on you for just a second too long. “Coffee’s ready.”
“Good morning,” you greeted, directing a polite smile towards his mother before shifting your attention back to him.
Raising an eyebrow at the unexpected term of endearment, you decided you won’t to let him get in your head again. Two could play this game.
“Thank you, baby.” you said, deliberately exaggerating the word with mock sweetness, drawing it out just enough to make your point clear.
Namjoon paused, his smile faltering for just a second, as if the weight of what he’d just said had finally hit him. It was almost comical—the way his eyes widened slightly, the subtle tilt of his head as he realized he’d called you “love” so naturally, as ifwithout even noticing.
His dimples deepened as he recovered, but then there was a flicker of something else in his eyes—something that suggested he was more aware of the tension than he let on.
You watched him carefully, keeping your expression neutral as you took the mug from him. He opened his mouth, about to respond, but seemed to think better of it. Instead, he let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head lightly.
“You know I can’t resist messing with you a bit.” He replied, the playful tone in his voice thickening, tough there was an edge of amusement in the way he looked at you.
Like he didn’t mess enough with you this morning.
“What? Did you add salt instead of sugar?” you asked, keeping the sarcasm light enough to communicate your true intentions to him, but soft enough that no one else would notice the charged tension between you two.
Namjoon let out a soft snort at your jab, but the real reaction came from his mother.
A giggle bubbled out from where she stood in the corner of the kitchen, halfway through washing the rice. Her eyes sparked with mischief as she glanced over at the two of you. “Salt instead of sugar?” she repeated, a teasing edge creeping in her voice as she set down the bowl she was holding. “Is that your way of flirting these days, Namjoon?”
Namjoon groaned dramatically, rubbing the back of his neck as a faint flush crept up his neck. “Mom, please.” He mumbled, glancing sideways at you for support—or maybe escape.
You couldn’t suppress the grin spreading across your face, taking an almost perverse satisfaction in watching him squirm for once. “Oh, I don’t know,” you teased, holding the mug closer. “It wouldn’t be the worst thing he’s done this week.”
Namjoon’s eyes narrowed slightly at you, though the corners of his lips tugged upwards in an exasperated smile. “Don’t you start.” He warned lightly, his voice low and teasing as he shook his head.
Before you could get another word in, he stepped forwards, taking your hand with the mug still in it. With a mischievous smirk, he brought the cup to his lips and took a big gulp of your coffee, as if to prove there was no threat.
“See?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Perfectly fine. You’re welcome, by the way.”
You blinked, stunned for a moment by his audacity.
“You did not just drink my coffee.” You said, glancing at your mug, your voice incredulous.
His mother chuckled, clearly amused by the unfolding scene. “Honestly, watching you two is like watching preschoolers flirt,” she remarked, her tone light but pointed. As she turned back to her task, she added with a sly smile, “Namjoon, do you still pull on her hair instead of just telling her you love her?”
Namjoon froze, his hand still loosely holding yours, his wide eyes quickly darting from you to his mother as though searching for an escape route.
You, on the other hand, could feel the heat in your cheeks, spreading rapidly as her words sank in. Your heart stuttered under the weight of her question, her casual delivery doing nothing to soften its impact. Did she realty see you that way? Did everyone? Because this—the playful back-and-forth—wasn’t even part of the charade. This was just…you two.
The playful energy of moments ago dissolved into an awkward silence, thick with unspoken questions and the sudden realization that your dynamic maybe wasn’t as innocent as you’d thought. You risked a glance at Namjoon, hoping to gauge his reaction, but his face was turned away, a flush creeping up the back of his neck.
Then, in true Namjoon fashion, he fumbled his way straight into the worst possible response. “Only when she asks me to.”
Your jaw dropped, and before you could stop yourself, you swatted his arm. “Namjoon!”
The innuendo wasn’t lost on you—or his mother, whose laugh bubbled up, filling the room with delighted mischief. Namjoon winced at your retaliation but managed a sheepish smile, as if realizing too late that his attempt at humour had only dug him deeper into the hole.
“Oh, you two,” Mrs. Kim chuckled, shaking her head as she wiped her hands on a dish towel. “Honestly, it’s no wonder it took you so long to get together.” She said with a smile, her voice light but laced with the kind of amusement only a parent could muster.
Namjoon groaned softly, running a hand through his hair. “Mom, please,” he muttered, clearly regretting every life choice that had led to this moment. His hand lingered at the back of his neck, rubbing at the spot where his embarrassment always seemed to gather.
You bit the inside of your cheek, willing yourself not to react—or to let the warmth rising in your own face betray you, one of your telltale signs when you were lying. Instead, you lifted the mug to your lips, completely forgetting that Namjoon just drank from it. The faintest hint of him lingered on the rim, but you forced yourself to focus on the bitter coffee, letting it anchor you as you scrambled to regain some semblance of composure.
Namjoon’s mother didn’t seem inclined to drop the subject, though, casting a glance between the two of you, her eyes sparkling. “You know,” she began, her voice as casual as if she were discussing the weather, “I’ve never seen you this flustered. It’s kind of adorable.”
Namjoon cleared his throat, clearly searching for an exit route, but his usual eloquence failed him. Because he very lamely defended with, “I’m not flustered.”
You bit your lip, trying to keep a straight face, but the sight of him so out of sorts was too much. You hid your grin behind the rim of your mug, the bitter coffee doing little to mask the warmth blooming in your chest. “Me either, now that I think about it,” you chimed in, your tone deliberately light. “I second that.”
His eyes snapped to you, a mix of betrayal and exasperation flashing across his face. “You’re the one who—Traitor,” he mumbled, though there was no real bite in his words.
You giggle at his reaction, watching with delight as he gently pushes off the counter. “I can feel you two ganging up on me in the very near future, so I’m going to start helping just to avoid any further embarrassment.”
His mom just grinned, clearly relishing the moment. “Don’t be silly. It’s good to see you getting along so well, that’s all. But if you’re so eager, you can help peel the carrots.”
Namjoon sighed dramatically, but began rolling up his sleeves to wash his hands. “Peeling carrots,” he muttered under his breath, his tone mock-sullen. “This is what my life has come to.”
You watched him for a moment, his shoulders relaxing despite the exaggerated complaints, and felt a strange kind of warmth settle in your chest. Being here, in the kitchen, with him and his family—it felt easy. Familiar. Like you belonged.
Without a word, you set your mug down and stepped closer to join him.
“Joining in on my torture?” he asked, his lips quirking in a half-smile as he reached for something in the cupboard above.
“Can’t have you slicing off fingers on Christmas,” you replied, nodding up at him, adding a pinch of that normal back-and-forth you were so used to, the kind that kept things light.
Or at least, you tried to.
Because, to your utter shock, Namjoon somehow managed to smack himself in the face with the cupboard door.
The corner of the door caught him right above his eye, and he flinched back with a quick, hushed curse.
You stare for a second, completely stunned, your mouth opening in surprise as a small trickle of blood appeared at the edge of his eyebrow. He cursed again, more audibly this time, wincing as he reached up to touch the spot, only to pull his hand away like the pain had caught him off guard.
“Holy—Joonie, are you okay?” you rushed to his side, instinctively grabbing a napkin from the counter.
He looked at you, his expression a mix of frustration and disbelief, though there was an underlying amusement that seemed to peek through, despite the situation “Yeah. It kinda hurts, though,” he admitted, glancing at you like he was trying to gauge just how bad it was.
“Yeah, no shit, you’re bleeding,” you shot back, holding up the napkin and carefully pressing it to the cut.
Namjoon chuckled weakly, the sound oddly endearing despite the blood trickling down his face. “I am?” he asked, raising his eyebrows—only to wince when the movement tugged at the fresh wound.
You didn’t even notice how close you had gotten, too focused on your task to register that you were standing on your tiptoes to reach him, or that his hands grabbed your waist to keep you steady. The proximity was a detail you were too preoccupied to process, nor did you notice Mrs. Kim watching the scene unfold with a fond smile on her face.
“Hold still,” you instructed, gently holding the napkin in place. “You’ll need some ice to stop the bruising.”
“There’s peas in the freezer,” his mom casually pointed out, “and bandages in the drawer to your left.”
You nodded absentmindedly, still focused on the napkin pressing against his face. The light pressure was enough to slow the bleeding, but you could already see the hint of a bruise starting to form.
You sigh, gesturing at him to hold the napkin while you get the supplies, his fingers brushing over yours in the exchange.
“Will you ever learn that you are tall and corners exist?” you chastised, walking over to the fridge to rummage for the peas.
Namjoon chuckled at your exasperation; the sound soft but warm. “Maybe one day.”
You managed to pull the freezer open, grabbing the bag of frozen peas and holding it up to the light. “Well, I’m not gonna hold my breath.”
When you turned to make your way back to him, you saw his eyes following you with an almost fond expression. “It’s lucky I’m cute,” he said with a wink, clearly trying to downplay the whole situation.
“You’re lucky I don’t pass out at the sight of blood.” You quipped, handing him the peas with a soft chuckle. “Now, take a seat. I can’t reach you.” You grabbed the band-aids from the drawer, your fingers quickly working on finding the right sized ones.
Namjoon’s lip twitched, somewhere between amusement and exasperation, but he obediently pulled out a chair and sat down, slouching slightly so you could tend to him without straining.
When you turned back to him, you noticed how he was staring at you—his usual teasing gone, replaced by something softer, more genuine.
“Hold still,” you instructed, carefully dabbing at the blood on his face with a fresh napkin.
As you worked, your fingers brushed through his hair, tucking a stray lock behind his ear. It was a small gesture, but it sent a sudden flutter through your chest, because his eyes fluttered close under your touch.
The soft kitchen light seemed to highlight the details of his face—freckles, small moles, the curve of his jaw—details you hadn’t truly taken the time to admire before. But now, with his eyes closed, his features relaxing as though the pain was a distant memory, you allowed yourself the indulgence of taking it all in.
For a fleeting moment, you almost forgave him for drinking your coffee.
His breath evened out, a quiet sigh slipping past his lips as you pressed the band-aid into place with care. Your fingers lingered against his skin, cupping his face to keep him still, and your heart faltered when you realized how effortlessly he surrendered to your touch, as if trusting you entirely to put him back together.
It was only then you noticed how close you were—standing between his open legs, his hands resting quietly on your hips as though they belonged there, silently urging you closer.
The realization hit you like a jolt, and for a beat, you froze. The proximity sent a wave of warmth through you, leaving your hands a little shaky as you reached for the peas again, hoping to focus on something other than the magnetic pull between you.
But just as you moved away, the atmosphere shifted, heavy with the feeling of being watched. You glanced up, only to catch Mrs. Kim standing in the doorway. Her expression was knowing, her lips quirking into a faintly amused smile that made your cheeks burn.
Namjoon’s voice broke the silence, drawing your attention back to him. “Will I survive?” he asked, a hint of humour laced in his tone as he glanced up at you, still holding the bag of peas against his cheek.
His small, half-smile was so casual, so utterly oblivious to the storm of emotions tearing through you, that it only made your chest tighten further.
“You just might,” you managed to reply, your voice steadier than you expected, though your heart was pounding in your ears.
“Good.” He stood up, hands still holding you close. “Let’s get peeling. No one gets away from this job.”
~~~
You paced around the bedroom, rifling through the limited wardrobe you’d packed, desperately trying to assemble something decent for Hoseok’s Christmas party—something you’d completely forgotten about until the last minute. And honestly, who would blame you after a day like this?
Cozy sweaters and jeans had been your go-to during your stay at Namjoon’s parents’ house, but those felt far too casual for an event like this.
And while the little black dress paired with sheer tights and thigh-high boots seemed like a solid option at first, the howling snowstorm outside quickly made you reconsider.
Namjoon had assured you it didn’t matter, but one quick scroll through Hoseok’s Instagram had your anxiety kicking into overdrive. His house was sleek and impossibly modern, adorned with Christmas décor that looked straight out of a designer catalogue. The polished tree, the subtle golden accents—it all screamed sophistication, a stark contrast to the decidedly average contents of your suitcase.
After watching you agonize over your outfit for half an hour, Minhi had kindly offered to take you to the mall. You’d politely declined.
Because going to the mall during the holidays was, in your opinion, the worst form of torture ever devised by humanity.
Instead, she rummaged through her own closet and handed you a pair of thermal tights and a leather skirt.
With her help, you managed to put together an ensemble that felt both festive and weather-appropriate. The leather skirt paired perfectly with the tights, and your favourite thigh-high boots added just the right edge. You topped it off with a boatneck burgundy sweater that showcased your shoulders, cinching it all together with a sleek belt.
When you finally emerged from the bathroom, Namjoon was sprawled on the bed, already dressed for the party in a cream sweater and loose jeans—a frustratingly effortless combination—and halfway through a book. His eyes flicked up as you entered the room, and a slow, appreciative smile spread across his face.
He probably wasn’t admiring at your outfit, you thought dryly. More likely, he was just relieved you were finally done monopolizing the bathroom.
“You look good,” he said simply, his voice warm with something that sounded suspiciously like admiration as he watched you settle at the little desk to finish your makeup.
“You don’t think it’s too much?” you asked, smoothing your hands nervously over the skirt before rummaging through your chaotic makeup bag in search of a lipstick.
His words seemed casual, but there was an undertone that made your pulse quicken. Compliments from Namjoon weren’t rare, but it was always how he said them—earnest and genuine, like he meant them even when he wasn’t trying to. It was something you were used to, or so you told yourself.
The sound of his book closing drew your attention, and when you glanced in the mirror, your eyes locked with his.
“Not at all,” he said, his voice warm and certain, his gaze unwavering. “You’re perfect.”
That was different.
You felt a flush creep up your neck, but you kept your gaze on the mirror, pretending to be absorbed in the precise swipe of lipstick rather than the insane fluttering in your chest.
“Sweet talker,” you murmured, hoping to sound unaffected, though the grin plastered on your face gave you away.
Namjoon chucked, the deep, rich sound filling the room. “Just honest,” he replied, propping himself up on one elbow. His gaze was intense, and it held you captive in that way that made your cheeks warm. Damn him.
You capped your lipstick and turned to face him, trying for a casual air as you smoothed down the sweater. “Alright, I think I’m ready.”
He rose from the bed, unfolding his tall frame with an easy grace and he made his way towards you with an easy stride.
Now standing in front of you, he reached out, fingers brushing against your temple as he to gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. A simple, intimate gesture, that made your breath catch just the same.
You crane your neck to meet his gaze, feeling the weight of his undivided attention on you. His eyes seemed to flicker with a thousand thoughts, a whirlwind of ideas that seemed to cross his mind before he finally settled on one.
“I want to give you a hickey.”
Your jaw dropped, and for a moment, all you could do was stare at him, utterly stunned. “Excuse me?” you managed, your voice squeaking higher than you intended.
Namjoon’s dimples made an appearance as he tried to suppress a grin, though his eyes gleamed with pure mischievous delight. “I said,” he repeated, completely unrepentant, “I want to give you a hickey.”
You opened and closed your mouth, brain scrambling for a coherent response. “You-you can’t just say stuff like that, Namjoon!” you sputtered, heat rushing to your head and making you lightheaded.
“Why not?” His tone was maddeningly calm, as though he’d just commented on the weather rather than that sudden, unexpected declaration.
“Because!” you gestured vaguely at yourself and the outfit you painstakingly put together, still clinging to a sense of composure “Look at this! Do you know how much effort went into this? And you want to… to ruin it with a hickey?”
And fuel my late-night fantasies for the rest of my life while you’re at it, you silently added.
Namjoon tilted his head slightly, clearly amused by your outrage, his hand still hovering over your face. “I don’t think it would ruin anything,” he said softly, his voice low.
His gaze flitted briefly to your collarbone before returning to your eyes, warm but challenging. “I think it might add something, and make this whole ordeal more believable.”
“Namjoon!” you hissed, glancing nervously toward the door, half-expecting someone to walk in on this absurd conversation.
He laughed, the sound rich and teasing, before stepping closer, his legs bumping against your knees and almost making them open. The closeness made your heart go crazy, his presence overwhelming in the most intoxicating way. “Relax, I’m just teasing,” he said, tough the glint in his eyes suggested otherwise. “Mostly.”
“Mostly?”
“I told you I like giving hickeys to my lovers,” he said with a casual shrug—a detail you’d conveniently buried but now recalled with sudden clarity. The realization hit you like a freight train, and the weight of the implication made your cheeks burn.
Before you could respond, his hand moved again, this time his fingers grazing over your cheek before gently cupping your chin. “We want this to be believable, right?” he said softly, his tone low and disarming.
He tilted your head up, his thumb brushing lightly over your skin as his gaze bore into yours. His expression softened, and his lips quirked into a faint smile. “And you’re cute when you’re flustered,” he murmured, almost as if speaking to himself.
You huffed, clinging desperately to your last shred of defiance. “If you give me one then I’m giving you one too!” you protested, your voice more confident than you felt. You hoped the bravado would make him back down, but deep down, you already knew that Namjoon is just as hardheaded as you and would never back down when you push his buttons.
His eyebrows shot up, clearly intrigued by your declaration. “Oh, is that how it’s going to be?” he asked, his voice a velvety blend of amusement and challenge.
You crossed your arms, trying to look more confident than you felt. “That’s exactly how it’s going to be. Fair’s fair.”
His chuckle was low and dangerous, the kind that made your stomach flip. “Fair. But are you sure you’re ready for that?”
His fingers lingered on your chin moving down to your neck, his touch light, the words hanging between you, making the tension even more palpable. He lowered his gaze to your lips for a beat.
You squared your shoulders, watching him with a daring spark in your eyes. You weren’t quite sure where this new-fond courage was coming from, but you couldn’t back down yet.
After all, you couldn’t make his heart flutter like he did yours, but damn it, you could at least make his blood pressure rise.
“Oh, I’m definitely ready. Did you forget how I woke up this morning?” At that remark his confidence wavered, and you smirked. “Are you?”
Namjoon’s eyes darkened. He took a step back, but there was something in his posture now—something that hinted he wasn’t quite ready to let go of this newly formed energy between you. His fingers brushed against the fabric of your sweater, but it was almost as if he were trying to compose himself.
“I’m game if you are.”
You raised an eyebrow, trying not to let the rush of nerves make you falter. “Fine.” You said, mimicking his calmness, tough your heart was undoubtedly going to burst out of your chest and land on his lap any second.
Without another word, his hand slid to your neck, his thumb pressing softly against your pulse point. Then, with a fluid motion, he knelt in front of you, reaching under the desk chair to adjust it. He pulled you closer, the sudden shift leaving your knees brushing against his chest, until your faces were mere inches apart.
You gasped, the heat rising to your cheeks in a slow, burning wave as he leaned in, narrowing the space between you to a breath.
His lips hovered just above your skin, the warmth of his breath brushing teasingly against your neck. You froze, caught between the urge to pull away and the undeniable pull that kept you rooted in place.
He pressed closer, his body fitting perfectly into the space between your legs as you unconsciously spread them to make room for him. Your hands found his shoulders instinctively, fingers curling into the fabric of his sweater as though holding on for dear life.
You felt his lips curve into a smirk against your pulse point, a maddening mixture of confidence and playfulness. His cologne, warm and woodsy with a hint of something spicy, enveloped you entirely, clouding your thoughts and making it impossible to focus on anything but him.
“Relax, I don’t bite…much.” His voice was low and laced with amusement.
And then you wonder why your feelings were so tangled…
You held your breath as his lips brushed against your skin, featherlight yet sending fireworks through your veins. The shift in the air was palpable, and you were acutely aware how it all transformed from mere playful flirting into something undeniably intimate.
When his lips finally pressed against your neck—soft and deliberate—it was like the world tilted on its axis. The simple gesture unravelled you in ways you hadn’t anticipated, setting all your nerves alight. His teeth grazed your skin, and a soft gasp escaped before you could even think to stop it.
He consumed you entirely, leaving no room for rational thoughts. You couldn’t tell if it was the gentle pressure of his mouth, the confidence in his movements, or the sheer closeness of him, but it was intoxicating, overwhelming and undeniably, all Namjoon.
You could feel the way your body responded to him, melting into his touch, leaving you boneless under his attention, and for a second, you wondered if he could feel the heat building between your legs.
As his tongue traced the outline of the hickey he was leaving, you let out a sound—a quiet, needy whimper that surprised even you. It was the kind of sound that you’d never meant to make, the kind that gave away everything you were feeling, despite your best efforts to hide it.
Namjoon stilled at that, his lips lingering against your skin for a moment longer before he pulled back slightly, his eyes searching your face.
But you refused to meet his gaze. Instead, you leaned further into him, burying your face in his shoulder, one hand threading into his hair in a silent plea.
“It’s okay,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “Don’t stop.”
His breath hitched at your words, and then his lips found that spot again with renewed purpose. This time, he didn’t hold back. His teeth sank into your skin, not enough to hurt, but enough to make you gasp, the sensation igniting a shiver down your spine. When you mewled, his tongue followed, soothing the sting with deliberate, careful strokes.
Time seemed to stretch endlessly as he worked, every second heightening the electricity coursing through you. Finally, Namjoon pulled back, his lips ghosting over your skin one last time before he leaned away to admire his handiwork.
You lifted trembling fingers to touch the spot, the warmth still radiating from the fresh hickey.
“Told you it would look good,” he said, his voice low and slightly rougher than before, though his tone was carrying he same teasing edge.
You blinked up at him, your brain still struggling to catch up. The audacity, the thrill of what his lips had done to you—it was all too much.
His confidence was effortless, and it stood in sharp contrast to the insecurity now blooming in your chest. You were a mess, your emotions tangled and raw.
This was supposed to be a game, you reminded yourself. A performance. A pretense for the world.
But the way Namjoon looked at you, the amusement and unspoken understanding glimmering in his dark eyes—it felt far too real. Almost like he understood something you didn’t.
“Right,” he broke the silence, his voice cutting through the charged atmosphere with effortless ease. “Before you get your turn, my knees are starting to hurt. Do you mind if I sit down?” He gestured casually to the bed behind him, his tone light, but his gaze remained steady locked onto you.
You nodded, your throat tight, the words getting lost somewhere between your racing heart and your scattered thoughts.
Namjoon casually sat down on the edge of the bed, patting the spot next to him. “Come here,” he said, the warmth in his voice undercut by an unmistakable challenge.
For a moment, you hesitated, a whirlwind of thoughts crashing through your mind. Every rational part of you screamed to play it cool, to call his bluff. But your feet were already in motion, betraying your resolve.
With a sigh, you stood, smoothing the edge of your skirt and walked toward him, heart still racing in your chest, but also a twinge of annoyance keeping it beating in contretemps—why did he get to be so effortlessly charming while you were left breathless and flustered by the slightest touch?
You reach him, and instead of sitting beside him like he expected, you boldly climbed onto his lap, your skirt riding up just enough to reveal a hint of your thighs.
“Is this better?” you purred, meeting his gaze in an intense staring contest. You couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth, but the challenge was clear: you could play his game.
Namjoon’s eyes widened slightly, his composure cracking for the briefest moment. “M-much better,” he stammered, his hands instinctively finding your hips to steady you, though the surprise in his voice was quickly masked with a hitched breath.
“Good.” Your whispered, the word barely escaping your lips as you leaned in, pressing your body flush against his. You couldn’t help but smirk inwardly, noticing the way he fought to keep his eyes from wandering down to where your chest was now pressed against him.
Closing the distance between you, you let your lips graze his jawline in a slow, electrifying touch that sent a thrill shooting through your veins. His heartbeat thrummed beneath your touch, its rapid rhythm mirroring your own, as though your hearts were tangled together in that moment. You smiled against his skin, trailing your lips down his neck, savouring the rare power shift you’d managed to create, though it was short-lived.
Namjoon’s hands slid from your hips to your lower back, his warm fingers pressing against you skin with a gentle insistence that sent a fresh wave of heat coursing through you. His touch was unhurried and deliberate, brushing beneath your shirt in a way that made your breath hitch and you skin prick with need.
You felt his body tense beneath your palms, every muscle coiled with barely contained restraint. His breath grew uneven as your fingers traced the curve of his neck, your touch lingering as you searched for that perfect spot to leave your mark.
Each movement was slow and deliberate, your intent clear as you took your time, savouring every shiver that rippled through him, every spasm that betrayed the effect you had on him. The quiet tension in the room thickened, each breath, each touch feeding the growing heat between you.
His fingers grip your back tighter, a silent plea for more. His eyes darken, and his mouth parts slightly, betraying the control he’s struggling to maintain as you pepper his neck with soft kisses. You catch his pulse flitter beneath your lips, and with that, you know exactly where to leave your mark.
You press your lips to the sensitive spot, and slowly, deliberately, you sink your teeth into his skin. Namjoon stiffens at the pressure, a soft gasp escaping him, but you don’t relent. Instead, you suck a mark—one that’s sure to linger.
He groans low in his throat, his hands moving up to your shoulders, but they’re not pushing you away. They’re pulling you closer, urging you to stay right where you are. His grip tightens again, not in restraint, but in a desperate need for more and you can’t help but indulge him.
You shift, moving lower to leave another mark, this time with more urgency, and then another and another until you reach the collar of his sweater. Once satisfied with his state, you leaned back, your gaze locking with his.
Namjoon’s eyes are blown wide, his ragged breath mingling roughly with yours. His chest rises and falls beneath your hands as you pull back, taking a moment to admire the marks you’ve left behind. The faint flushes of red against his skin making your heart race, a mixture of pride and something akin to love flooding your chest.
Your fingers glide along the sharp line of his jaw, your touch featherlight as you tilt his face upward ever so slightly. His compliance makes your heart stutter—how effortlessly he lets himself be guided by you again, trusting and open to you.
You pause for a moment, taking in the closeness, the way his dark eyes flicker with an intensity that threatens to steal your breath. Slowly, cautiously, you lean in, your lips hovering just a breath away from his, the warmth of his breath mingling with yours.
No more games, no more walls. Just this—raw, unguarded, and inevitable.
His breath was hot against your skin, the faint scent of mint makes your head spin. His hands tighten, as if anchoring himself in the moment.
But just as your lips were about to meet, the door swung open with a loud bang, the sudden noise splintering the tension.
“Ready to go? You two are going to be late-” Jackson’s voice trailed off as he froze in the doorway. “Oh?”
The room seemed to freeze along with him, the awkward, tension-laden silence settling in the air. Jackson’s eyes darted between you and Namjoon, his sharp gaze taking in every detail—the blush on your cheeks, Namjoon’s dishevelled shirt, and the undeniable red mark blooming on your neck. A playful eyebrow arched in genuine surprise, and an almost imperceptible grin tugged at the corner of his mouth as he realised what he just walked in on.
Namjoon was the first to react, his grip on you loosening just slightly, though he didn’t let you go completely. He shot Jackson a pointed look, the faintest blush creeping up his neck, though his demeanour stayed intact.
“We were just-” Namjoon broke off, realizing there were no words that could really explain this without sounding absolutely ridiculous.
You, on the other hand, felt like the air had been sucked out of your lungs. You could feel your heart pounding, your cheeks flushed, and for the first time since walking into this room, you regretted wearing that confident smirk. You pulled back slightly, hands still resting on Namjoon’s shoulders, and glanced at Jackson, whose grin only grew wider.
“I-uh... we were just about to head out,” you stammered, standing up off Namjoon’s lap, awkwardly fixing your skirt before reaching for your purse, suddenly too aware of how dishevelled you both looked.
Fuck, fuck-fuckity, fuck.
“Yeah, sure looked like it,” Jackson grinned, leaning against the doorframe far too casually.
Namjoon exhaled sharply, his expression shifting from amused to mildly exasperated as he shot Jackson a look that could only be described as a warning. “Jackson,” he said, his tone light but firm.
Jackson raised his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. I’ll be out here if you need me. Just try not to be too late, lovebirds.”
With a final chuckle, he stepped back, leaving the door ajar as he walked down the hall.
You let out a long breath, your hands now nervously smoothing over your skirt, trying to pretend like nothing had happened, getting a step ahead of Namjoon’s usual calm demeanour. But the charged energy between you two was hard to ignore.
“Well, that was... perfectly timed,” he muttered, his voice tinged with amusement, confirming yet again, that Namjoon was some kind of rare breed of monk that could remain calm even in the weirdest of situations, and it was only you and your stupid brain misinterpreting everything about the situation you were in.
You shot him a look, anxiety prickling at the back of your mind. What would have happened if you kissed him?
He probably would have finally dropped the act, and you in the process with it. God damn it all. Freud would have a field day dissecting your brain right now.
Namjoon tilted his head, watching you fidget with your lipstick, a flicker of something unreadable in his expression. It wasn’t smugness, like you expected, or teasing, like you feared. It was softer, genuine, almost curious.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice low enough that it didn’t feel like a question so much as an invitation to exhale.
You forced a shrug, your hand trembling just slightly as you turned back to the mirror, feigning nonchalance. “Yeah, never been better,” you replied, the words too casual, too light to be entirely convincing.
Namjoon’s gaze lingered, the weight of it making your skin buzz, but you avoided meeting his eyes, focusing instead on reapplying your lipstick, pretending like the tremor in your hands wasn’t there
“You, uh, might want to wipe that off your neck, though,” you added, gesturing vaguely toward the red lipstick smudges you left on his skin, along with the faint, blooming hickeys.
He blinked, his fingers instinctively brushing over his neck, and when he caught sight of his reflection in the nearby mirror, his lips quirked into a big smile.
“Not bad,” he murmured, his tone light but carrying an edge of amusement that made your stomach flip as he reached for one of your makeup wipes.
You shot him a glare through the mirror, head flooding your cheeks.
“What?”
Your glare sharpened, your words tumbling out before you could stop them. “What do you mean, what? You’re just... too calm about this!”
He raised an eyebrow, his hand pausing mid-wipe. For a moment, you thought he might actually take you seriously, but then that signature grin spread across his face.
And with maddening ease, he threw your own words from this morning right back at you.
“Yeah, well. One of us has to be.”
~~~
You were the last guests to arrive at Hoseok’s place.
Jackson and Minhi had dropped you off a few streets away on their way to the market for an intense last-minute Christmas shopping session. As the car slowed down to a stop, Minhi gave you a knowing smile, warm and teasing, while Jackson couldn’t resist throwing in one last jab from the driver’s seat.
“Don’t let anyone see that neck of yours, yeah? The marks might be gone by New Year’s though.” His grin was all trouble, clearly enjoying himself far too much.
Minhi swatted his arm, rolling her eyes, but her laughter betrayed her amusement. “Ignore him,” she said, though the grin tugging on her lips mirrored his perfectly.
Namjoon shot them both a withering glare, his hand tugging at the collar of his jacket in a futile attempt to shield himself from their bullying.
“Thanks for the reminder,” he muttered dryly, his voice twinged with irritation as he opening the car door for you.
You busied yourself arranging your coat, willing the heat rising in your cheeks to fade. It didn’t help that Jackson leaned out of the car window, calling after him, “Don’t worry, Joon. We’re all adults here. It’s normal!”
The sound of Minhi’s exasperated, “Jackson, drive!” was barely enough to drown out his laughter as they sped away, leaving you and Namjoon standing in the cold, with an interesting kind of silence stretching between you.
As the car disappearing into the snowy street, you felt the familiar nerves creep back in, knotting in your stomach.
Namjoon must have noticed because, without hesitation, his hand found yours. The gesture was casual, but the warmth of his palm grounded you. He gave your fingers a small squeeze before guiding you down the quiet street towards Hoseok’s house.
“Don’t worry,” he said, voice soft and steady as he glanced at you with a small, warm smile. “It’s just Hoseok.”
You managed a smile in return, through it felt more like an act of bravery than genuine reassurance. “Yeah, which means everyone will be there.” you laugh, even as anxiousness bubbled in your stomach
It wasn’t just the idea of walking into a house full of people you barely knew. It was what the party represented: being introduced to Namjoon’s closest friends, the ones who’d grown up with him, who knew him inside and out. It felt like lying all over again.
The role felt just as daunting, the weight of pretending just as heavy as when you first arrived at Namjoon’s parents’ house, stepping into the same carefully constructed charade. But now, it seemed even more complicated—because these people weren’t just family. They were the ones who’d shaped him, who might see through you with a single glance and not be afraid to call it out.
The cold nipped at your skin, but Namjoon’s touch was steady and warm. Snowflakes drifted lazily from the sky, catching in your hair and melting against your searing cheeks.
Ahead, the glow from Hoseok’s house spilled onto the snowy lawn, warm and inviting. The windows framed silhouettes of people milling about inside, the occasional bursts of laughter spilled into the quiet night. It was the kind of place that instantly felt alive, where every sound promised laughter and warmth—but to you, it was another reminder of how much was riding on this evening.
Namjoon’s voice broke the quiet. “Hey,” he said, his tone softer than usual. He slowed his steps, turning to look at you fully. “You don’t have to be nervous. They’ll love you.”
You shot him a sidelong glance, raising an eyebrow. “Love me, or love the idea of you finally bringing someone over?”
His smile faltered for a split second, replaced by a sheepish look that made your stomach flip. “Maybe a little of both,” he admitted, his tone light. But before you could dwell on it, he added, “But I wouldn’t have brought you if I thought it wouldn’t have been great.”
“I just feel like I’m lying again.”
Namjoon’s expression softened at your words, his steps coming to a full stop as he gently tugged your hand, prompting you to face him. His thumb brushed lightly over your knuckles, the comforting motion grounding you despite the whirlwind of thoughts swirling in your head.
“You’re not lying,” he said firmly, his voice steady and sure. “You’re here because you’re important to me, and that’s the truth. And the rest…” He paused, searching your eyes. “The rest doesn’t matter as much as you think it does.”
You frowned, your nerves still quickening under the surface. “But they don’t know that. To them, I’m your girlfriend. This whole thing—it’s still lying.”
“I know it feels like that,” he said gently. “But... it doesn’t feel like pretending to me. Not when it’s you.”
His words caught you off guard, a quiet warmth blooming in your chest even as your stomach twisted with doubt. You searched his face, trying to read between the lines, but his expression was earnest, open, and it only made your heart ache just a bit more.
“But what if they see through it?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “What if they realize it’s all an act?”
Before you could overthink it further, his hand gently cupped your cheek. He smiled, a small, crooked grin that managed to melt away some of the tension in your chest. “They’ll be so busy being excited that I finally brought someone, they won’t even notice.”
Namjoon’s lighthearted comment earned a soft laugh from you, even as you shook your head against his palm. “You’re impossible,” you murmured, the smallest of smiles tugging at your lips.
“I mean it,” he said, his grin softening into something more genuine. “And trust me, with you looking this stunning, it’s going to be hard enough to keep the boys from hitting on you, let alone anyone noticing.”
The comment pulled a genuine laugh from you this time, the weight over your shoulders easing ever so slightly. “I’ll keep that in mind if things get awkward.”
Namjoon’s thumb gently brushed against your cheek. “It won’t. And even if it does, I’ll be right there with you. Promise.”
You held his gaze for a moment longer, finding something steadying in the way he looked at you. “Thank you Joonie, I’m sorry I keep making this difficult on you.”
Namjoon shook his head, his expression morphing again into something soft, almost weak. “You’re not making it difficult,” he said gently. “I get it. It’s a lot to ask of you, and I’ve probably handled this in the most Namjoon way possible—which, let’s be honest, means a bit of a mess.”
You couldn’t help but smile at his self-deprecating humour, even as your heart ached a little. “You’ve handled it fine. It’s me who keeps overthinking everything.”
He tilted his head, his gaze searching yours with a quiet intensity. “You’re not overthinking—you’re just feeling. And that’s okay. I’d be worried if you weren’t.”
You let out a small laugh, shaking your head. “Joon, you make it sound like I’m the most complicated person in the world.”
“Maybe you are,” he teased lightly, his grin reappearing. “But I like complicated. Complicated is honest.”
The warmth in his voice made your cheeks flush, and for a moment, you felt like the world had narrowed to just the two of you, the crisp night air and the soft crunch of snow beneath your boots fading into the background.
Namjoon smiled, the kind of smile that made his dimples appear and seemed to light up the cold night. Without another word, he started walking again, leading you up the stairs, your hand still firmly in his.
Before you could chicken out, he reached the door and knocked. It swung open almost immediately to reveal Hoseok, dressed in an awful Christmas sweater with reindeers humping, beaming like he’d been stationed there just waiting for you to show up.
“There they are!” Hoseok’s voice was jubilant as he threw his arms wide, ushering you both inside. “The couple of the hour!”
The heat inside hit you instantly, a stark contrast to the cold that made itself at home in your bones, but it was nothing compared to the heat that rose to your face at Hoseok’s greeting.
“Hobi, tone it down,” Namjoon said, though there was no real annoyance in his voice. He stepped forward to pull Hoseok into a quick hug, shaking his head. “You’re going to scare her off before we even get inside.”
Hoseok turned to you; his grin as impish as ever. “Not a chance. If I remember correctly, she’s tougher than she looks.” His smile only grew wider when he walked over to hug you, “It’s really good to see you again, peach,”
Then, with a theatrical lean forward, he added in a mock-serious whisper, “I’ve always known the two of you were endgame, by the way.”
Your mouth almost fell open, but before you could think of a reply, Namjoon groaned, “Don’t start this again.”
“Oh, I’ve barely started,” Hoseok shot back with a wink, stepping aside to let you both in. He gestured grandly toward the lively house behind him. “But first, welcome to the party. And just for the record, I’d like to take full credit for this coupling.”
“You?” you asked lightly, finally finding your voice. You steadied yourself with a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder as you leaned down to tug off your boots. “What exactly did you do?”
“I’d like to believe,” Hoseok said, his grin growing impossibly wider, “that my relentless flirting with you last time I visited was the final push Namjoon needed to grow a pair and actually make a move on you.”
Your laugh came out before you could stop it, equal parts shocked and entertained. You glanced at Namjoon, who looked simultaneously mortified and amused, his ears flushing a telltale red.
“You’d be surprised,” Namjoon chuckled, shooting Hoseok a sidelong look that was both warning and affectionate. “Though I’d hardly call your meddling relentless flirting. More like annoying provocation.”
“Semantics,” Hoseok said breezily, waving his hand as if to dismiss Namjoon’s critique. “The important thing is that it worked. You two are here now—perfect couple—and I have front-row seats. Life is good.”
Namjoon rolled his eyes, but his grip on your arm tightened slightly, as if to silently ask if you were okay. When you gave him a small amused nod, he relaxed, steering you further inside, with a warm palm against your back.
“Come on,” Hoseok said, leading the way. “Drinks are in the kitchen, snacks everywhere, and just about everyone’s dying to meet Namjoon’s mystery girlfriend. No pressure.”
The house hummed with warmth and energy, a perfect blend of festive chaos and cozy familiarity. “This is quite a big event, huh?” you asked, your tone light, though your eyes darted over the bustling crowd in the living room absorbing the vibrant energy.
“Only the best for my favourite people,” Hoseok replied smoothly, his grin widening as he gestured ahead. “You included, of course.”
Namjoon chuckled softly beside you, the low sound a comforting anchor in the lively chaos. His hand stayed firmly on your back, a grounding presence as the room’s details unfolded before you.
The chatter, bursts of laughter, and the smooth strains of jazzy Christmas music created a lively background symphony. The sweet, inviting scents of cinnamon, mulled wine, and a hint of vanilla wrapped around you, mingling with the warmth of the room. The golden glow of twinkling lights bounced off the ornaments, their soft shimmer casting a dreamy radiance over the space.
Your attention shifted on a familiar face—Jungkook, donning a garishly cheerful sweater that matched his girlfriend’s equally ugly one. Their cheerful waves caught your eye, Jungkook’s grin as bright as ever. His girlfriend nudged him with a playful laugh, clearly teasing him about something you couldn’t catch over the hum of the room. You waved back, a sense of relief blooming at the sight of friendly faces.
Namjoon followed your gaze, his lips curving into a small smile. “Looks like they’re already excited to see you,” he murmured, his voice low enough that only you could hear.
“Or you,” you teased, bumping his shoulder lightly. “He’s your gym buddy. I’m just here to admire his biceps.” You said, unable to resist the playful jab.
Namjoon let out a warm laugh, the sound rolling out effortlessly as he shook his head. “You’re my girlfriend.” he shot back with a smirk, “You’re only allowed to admire my biceps.”
Little did he know you already did.
You giggled, the playful banter a small but welcome release of tension. The knot in your chest loosened, a sense of ease slipping in. Whatever was waiting for you tonight, Namjoon was by your side. And if things went sideways, well…you could always throw him under the bus.
Of course, you already knew most of his close friends, whether from their random visits or the funny stories Namjoon had shared during your late-night talks. Still, you couldn’t ignore the curious glances that followed you both. Conversations dipped into pauses as people noticed Namjoon, greeting him with warmth—enthusiastic hugs and handshakes—and every time, their attention shifted to you, eyes filled with intrigue.
True to form, Namjoon was the perfect fake boyfriend. With a proud grin, he introduced you to everyone, weaving a believable story about how you met and ended up together. The pride in his voice sent a subtle flutter through your chest, even if the situation felt a little surreal.
After each introduction, he leaned in close to you, his breath warm against your ear as he whispered who they were, adding in fun tidbits or inside jokes about each person. It felt natural—too natural—like you’d always been a fundamental part of his world.
At some point, you found yourself chatting with one of Namjoon’s childhood friends, a quiet but kind woman named Jisoo, who had been part of their friend group since high school. Her presence was calming, and you found yourself sharing a laugh over something she said about Namjoon being a “closet softie” in his youth.
Meanwhile, Namjoon was off talking to a few people near the kitchen, gesturing enthusiastically with his hands. You could see the comfort and familiarity in his body language as he laughed along with his friends, but every so often, his eyes would flick back to you, checking in. It was such a subtle thing, but it made you feel like you were still the centre of his attention, even amidst all the noise and laughter.
Jisoo, noticing your gaze, smiled knowingly. “He’s a good guy, you know. You’re really lucky.”
Taken aback, you blinked, unsure how to respond. “Oh, uh, thanks,”
“I just mean,” she continued, “I’ve known him for years, and seeing him like this—happy, with someone who makes him smile—it’s a big deal. He’s been kind of... closed off since Su-Ho.” She gave you an appraising look before adding, “I’m glad you’re here.”
The words hit harder than you expected. You knew that Namjoon hadn’t been in a relationship since his last heartbreak. In the years living with him, you’d seen glimpses of the scars it left behind—the guarded moments, the hesitation when he let someone close, the way he avoided lingering too long in conversations about love. Hearing someone else acknowledge that weight, and imply that you might be a part of helping him carry it, it was humbling, overwhelming, and terrifying all at once. It made your chest tighten impossibly.
You had always wanted the best for him, of course. That’s why you’re here, wasn’t it? Back when you first moved in together, you’d even gone out of your way to suggest some of your single colleagues from work as potential matches. Because Namjoon was incredible—a unique combination of a golden heart and a brilliant mind. The right amount of sexy and dorky, a poet with a stubborn streak. The idea that someone could break that heart had always felt deeply unfair.
Especially since he barely held any resentment towards his ex.
But he’d always gently turned down your suggestions, saying he just wasn’t looking. You’d understood, of course. And if you were being completely honest, after years of living together, you couldn’t deny the small pang of dread at the thought of him finding someone else. Not because you didn’t want him to be happy, but because the two of you had fallen into a rhythm, a quiet, comfortable life shared between two people who had no one else to come home to. The thought of losing that, of being replaced, was a kind of ache you didn’t want to examine too closely.
You also understood his frustration when all he wanted was to visit home without having his relationship status turned into an interrogation. His life, his choices, they were enough—but somehow, they never seemed to be to anyone else.
And now, here you were. His friends accepted you so easily, welcomed you into their circle as though you’d always belonged there. But instead of feeling relief, you couldn’t shake the small, gnawing sensation of betrayal. It wasn’t towards Namjoon or his friends—it was towards yourself.
Because you weren’t entirely sure if you were pretending anymore.
“Oh! You’re Namjoon’s girlfriend, right?” a melodic voice cut through your thoughts, pulling you abruptly back to the present.
You turned towards the voice, immediately recognizing the woman approaching. “I’m Iseul, I work at the pastry shop you visited!” she said with an easy charm. Her big pouty lips curved into a warm smile, and before you could react, she enveloped you in a friendly hug.
“I kept meaning to come over and say ‘hi’, but I couldn’t get a break,” she huffed, her tone amused, her energy bright and disarming.
But none of that registered fully because your brain had latched onto something else entirely—Namjoon had introduced you as his girlfriend at the pastry shop.
Even in a situation where there was no need for the relationship, no one to convince, he’d called you his girlfriend.
The realization hit hard, quickly spiralling into another—your mini jealous outburst that day, the kiss you’d pressed to his lips out of pure, irrational possessiveness, all over something that didn’t even happen.
Heat crept up your neck as the memory replayed in vivid detail, your stomach twisting with a mix of embarrassment and something far more complicated.
“You should have seen those two” Iseul chirped, her voice light and cheerful as she glanced at Jisoo. “Barely managed to keep their hands off one another.”
She giggled, clearly entertained by the memory, and you froze, your heart pounding in your chest.
Jisoo raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued as she turned to you. “Really? Namjoon? Didn’t think he was one for public displays.”
Your mind scrambled for a response, but all you could do was let out a nervous laugh, one that sounded forced even to your own ears.
“Ah, well,” you started stalling for time as your brain worked overtime to piece together something coherent. “I guess he was just… excited about the milk bread.”
Iseul’s giggle turned into a full laugh at your weak explanation, and Jisoo smirked knowingly.
“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”
You opened your mouth to respond, but thankfully, Namjoon appeared by your side, his timing nothing short of miraculous. He slid an arm around your waist, his presence grounding you instantly.
“What’s this about milk bread?” he asked, his tone light but curious as his eyes dared between Iseul and Jisoo.
Iseul grinned mischievously. “Oh, just reminiscing about how involved you two were the last time you came to the shop.”
Namjoon’s brows shot up briefly, but he recovered quickly, his lips twitching into a sheepish smile. “Ah, yeah. This one likes mistletoe.” He gave a playful nod your way, his words laced with a teasing edge.
You felt your face heat up, your cheeks likely resembling the colour of the poinsettias in the room. “It’s festive,” you mumbled, glaring half-heartedly at Namjoon.
Jisoo raised an amused eyebrow. “Are you two always this committed to the holiday spirit?”
Namjoon chuckled, his hand tightening around your waist. “What can I say? She makes the season bright.”
The warmth of his tone made your heart stumble in your chest. It was the kind of comment that should have been part of the act, but the way he said it felt too genuine. Just a little too real.
“Sap,” you murmured, avoiding his gaze, which in turn earned a delighted laugh from the group.
Iseul sighed dramatically, clasping her hands together. “You two are disgustingly cute, you know that?”
Namjoon laughed again, his dimples flashing as he shrugged. “I’ve actually seen worse.”
As the conversation continued, you leaned into Namjoon’s side, his steady presence helping you navigate the teasing with a bit more grace. Still, the whole conversation lingered into your mind, and it made you wonder just how much of this you could actually take.
After a little while, the group moved to the couch, each one getting a glass of wine. You exchanged pleasantries with Jungkook and his girlfriend, laughing over some story of Namjoon being a klutz in the gym, and enjoying the warmth of the fireplace. As you took another sip of your wine, you couldn’t help but notice how comfortable Namjoon was in this environment—the ease with which he moved through the room, greeting people and making them laugh. His energy was contagious, and the way his friends reacted to him—warm, animated, full of admiration—was proof of the bond he shared with them.
“What’s going on here?” you said, half-teasing, as you watched him chat with a group by the fireplace. He’d just taken a seat on the couch, and you leaned over the back of it, one of your hands naturally moving over his shoulder and resting against his chest.
“I think I’m being serenaded by Taehyung,” Namjoon looked up at you, his smile widening as he caught your eye, and you couldn’t help but grin. His hand quickly found yours, intertwining your fingers together as he leaned back comfortably into the couch and you.
“Really? A serenade?” you raised an eyebrow, intrigued and amused at the same time.
Namjoon chuckled, a soft smile creeping into his face as he glanced at Taehyung across the room. “Yeah. Didn’t see that coming, but it’s pretty great.”
You followed his gaze to where Taehyung, guitar in hand, was effortlessly filling the space with a beautiful melody. Namjoon’s smile softened as he listened, his eyes briefly closing as he relaxed into the music.
“Tell him your taken,” you whisper, brushing your lips over his temple, convincing yourself that you were just playing your role.
Namjoon’s shoulders shook with a soft laugh as you whispered in his ear, the warmth of your breath sending a shiver down his spine. His eyes flickered up to meet yours, his expression both amused and tender. “I think he knows I’m taken,” he teased, his thumb brushing over your knuckles, as if grounding you both in this moment.
You smiled, the words lingering in the air for a heartbeat longer than necessary. Your heart raced, but it wasn't from the playful banter. It was the quiet reminder that even though you were pretending, this—this closeness, this connection—was something far more real than you had allowed yourself to admit.
Namjoon tilted his head slightly, his gaze softening as it met yours. “But just so you know,” he added, his voice low and teasing, “I’m not sharing my spot on the couch.”
You laughed quietly, settling further into his side, the warmth of his body against yours giving you a sense of peace that you hadn’t expected. “That’s fine. I’m going to go get another glass of wine. Do you want one?”
Namjoon’s hand gave yours a gentle squeeze as he leaned back, his eyes briefly fluttering closed. “Yeah, I'll take one,” he said, his voice relaxed but still playful. “But make sure you get something strong, ‘cause I’m pretty sure the boys are about to turn that guitar into a full-on concert.”
You giggle softly, standing up and threading your way to the kitchen. As you walked, you silently thanked whatever deity had smiled on you, allowing the evening to go so smoothly.
That is, until you turned the corner into the kitchen and froze, hearing your name called out loudly over the small crowd.
Before you could react, Meyong appeared from the crowd and wrapped you in a bear hug, squeezing all the air from your lungs.
“Wait—what the hell?” Meyong’s voice was loud, her words slightly slurred, and it only took a second before your mom-friend instincts kicked in. You cupped her flushed cheeks as she grinned up at you, her eyes full of excitement. “Oh my god, you’re here!”
“Meyong, hi,” you managed, trying not to panic.
“It’s so good to see you!” she mumbled the words happily, staring at you with that familiar starry-eyed admiration. The alcohol on her breath was evident, but you couldn’t help but smile at her infectious energy.
“It’s good to see you too,” you responded, returning the hug. But inside, your mind was racing. If Meyong was here, then Jin was probably somewhere in the mix, and that only meant one thing—this night was about to get tangled. This meant that there was no chance to avoid taking this home with you, because Meyong and Jin would undoubtedly tell absolutely everyone back home. You almost scolded yourself for forgetting the fact that your ex-roommates would also be visiting.
“When Hoseok said Joonie is bringing over a girl I just knew it was you,” she slurred sweetly, blinking affectionately at you
“And why is that?” you chuckled, trying to steer her away from the potential disaster of what she might say next as you unwrapped her hands from around you and gently pulled her toward the fridge to get her some water.
“Because you always had the fattest crush on Joonie.” She deadpanned. “Like, I knew you two were banging once you moved in together.”
“Oh my god Meyong! Keep your voice down!” you blushed furiously, quickly glancing around to make sure no one around heard your absurd conversation. This was exactly what you needed—your best friend, totally oblivious, blurting out something that could easily ruin the delicate balance you were pretending to maintain.
“Aww, Mrs. big shot lawyer is scared of talking about her feelings,” she giggled, taking the water bottle from you and twisting it. “So tell me? When did this all happen? And why didn’t you tell me you were fucking?”
You felt your heart skip a beat at her words, the colour rising in your cheeks in a way that felt downright painful. “Meyong, please, you’re making it worse,” you muttered, trying to keep your voice low while glancing around again, hoping no one was eavesdropping.
Her grin only widened as she took a long sip from the water bottle, totally oblivious to the chaos she was causing. “What? I’m just saying, it’s obvious you two are more than perfect for each other. How’s the sex?” her smile was almost wicked when she wriggled her eyebrows.
But then, as if a lightbulb went off in her head, her expression shifted, and her eyes widened in realization. “Oh! Jin owes me 100 bucks!” she said, as if everything made sense.
You blinked, a mixture of confusion and frustration flooding your system. “What?” you managed to get out, feeling like you were on the verge of losing your sanity. “Why does Jin owe you money?”
“We made a bet, he said there is no way Namjoon has the balls to confess to you, but I won!” She smiled, tacking on an unwarranted “Namjoon has balls!”
You stared at her, trying to process what she had just said. “Wait, hold on,” you said, your voice a mix of disbelief and embarrassment. “Jin bet against Namjoon confessing to me?”
Meyong nodded vigorously, clearly proud of herself, but before she could elaborate, Jin walked in.
“There you are,” his voice cut through the conversation, his face a mix of relief and amusement at the state his girlfriend was in, “I figured I’d find you here gossiping.” he looked directly at Meyong, carefully collecting her in his arms, keeping her steady.
“You owe me money,” she muttered looking up at him, completely undeterred by his shushing.
“Yeah, I figured,” he replied unamused. He carefully adjusted his grip on Meyong, who was swaying just slightly in his arms, looking utterly pleased with herself.
Jin’s eyes softened as he looked at you, his tone shifting slightly. “Just for the record, I just figured that since Namjoon never made a move when you first met, that it would never happen.”
Jin’s words hit you like a bolt of lightning. You blinked, trying to process what he’d just said, your mind racing with confusion and disbelief.
“Namjoon liked me?”
Just then the subject of your gossip session walked in, his warm hand gently squeezing your shoulder.
You turned quickly, almost startled, as Namjoon’s presence loomed behind you. His hand on your shoulder was steady, grounding, and yet there was an unmistakable tension in the air. He must’ve sensed something was off from the way you were standing, the way your eyes lingered on him, wide with surprise.
“Everything okay?” he asked softly, his gaze flicking between you and Jin, his voice a little too casual.
Before you could respond, Meyong, still blissfully unaware of the tension she’d stirred, grinned at Namjoon. “Okay, spill. You’re dating now?” Her tone was loud enough to catch the attention of the people around you, and you felt your cheeks heat instantly. “It’s new,” Namjoon said smoothly, the practiced ease of his response both reassuring and unnerving.
“New?!” Meyong repeated, letting out a laugh that was just a little too loud. She turned to Jin, “I told you! You owe me money!” She gave a bubbly giggle, “They’re idiots in love. What did I say, babe?”
“You said it every chance you got,” Jin said dryly, though he was clearly enjoying himself, his arm protectively wrapping around her waist. “For years.”
You groaned internally, shooting Namjoon a quick glance. He gave you a subtle nod, like he was silently reminding you to play along, that he will fix it all later.
“Well, it just made sense,” you then added, trying to steer the conversation into safer waters. “We work well together. That’s all.”
Meyong squinted at you, a mischievous smile tugging at her lips. “Oh, honey. That’s all?” She leaned closer, her voice dropping to a stage whisper. “You telling me you’ve been sharing an apartment with him and you haven’t been climbing him like a Christmas tree every chance you got? I see the hickeys!”
You allowed yourself a second to cuss out Namjoon in your mind, trying your best not to let your face drop too dramatically.
“Meyong,” you hissed, mortified, your face burning as you felt Namjoon laugh besides you, acutely aware of his hand that found its way to your hip, pulling you into his side.
“What?” she said innocently, though her grin only widened. “I’m just saying, if I’d been living with Jin before we got together...”
“Okay!” Jin interjected, raising his hands like a referee calling for a timeout. “Let’s not traumatize our friends tonight.”
“Oh baby, we can tell them about the sex book!”
You felt your entire body flush, unable to hide the growing heat in your cheeks. “Meyong, stop!” you managed to stammer, looking desperately around the room for a distraction, but it was clear that nothing could save you now. Namjoon, however, only chuckled softly, his hand resting casually on your hip as if he were fully aware of the storm he had just inadvertently stirred up.
Meyong's grin grew impossibly wider as she wiggled her eyebrows at you. “What? It's not like we're all virgins here. We know what’s going on behind closed doors.”
“Please, for the love of all things holy,” you muttered, half laughing, half mortified.
Jin, clearly amused but still calm, gave you a reassuring smile. “You don’t have to listen to her. She’s been drinking, and her filter is long gone by now.”
Namjoon’s chuckle rumbled beside you, and he gave your hip a playful squeeze. “Don’t worry,” he said in a low, teasing voice, “She’s just excited to be part of the gossip.”
“Yeah, thanks for the water, it was nice seeing you guys,” It was almost as if Jin could sense the awkwardness clinging to you, and he lovingly tried to maneuver his girlfriend towards a seat, but she twisted in his arms,
“Babe, but the book!”
Jin shook his head with a bemused smile, clearly used to this side of Meyong, taking her hands and wrapping them around his neck as they walked. “We’ll talk about the book later,” he said calmly, gently pulling her along to the couch before she could launch into any more embarrassing details about their private life.
You let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding, the tension slowly melting from your shoulders. Glancing over at Namjoon, you half expected him to wear that casual smile of his, but instead, you were met with an almost sombre look, as if that conversation took the same toll on him.
“About that strong drink,” his eyes avoided yours, and before you could respond, he reached for a bottle of whiskey on the counter, his hand pausing midair as if he was weighing the situation. He let out a soft, almost imperceptible sigh before grabbing the bottle and pouring himself a generous amount into a glass.
You tilted your head slightly, watching him carefully. There was something in his movements, a shift you hadn’t expected, and it made you wonder if the playful atmosphere had affected him more than he let on.
“Are you okay?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, your heart racing as you stood beside him. Your fingers grazed the edge of his glass as you instinctively reached out to steady it.
Namjoon gave a fleeting smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He took a long gulp from his glass, his gaze briefly shifting away. “Yeah,” he replied, though the word lacked conviction, like he was trying to convince himself just as much as you.
Your hand found his, your thumb tracing over his knuckles gently. His words hung in the air, and something in the way he said them made your chest tighten, an uncomfortable feeling settling between you two.
He finally met your gaze, and in that moment, it was as if everything else around you disappeared. The music, the laughter, the chatter—none of it mattered. It was just the two of you standing there, caught in the quiet space between words. He parted his lips, like he was on the verge of saying something, but then he faltered, swallowing hard instead and finishing his drink in one long, steady pull.
The silence stretched between you both, heavy and thick, but neither of you moved. You could feel the weight of his emotions, even though he hadn’t said a word. It was in the way he held himself, the way his fingers tightened around his glass before he set it down on the counter with a quiet clink.
“I-” Namjoon began, but then he stopped, shaking his head slightly, as if he wasn’t sure where to start. “I think I need some air.”
You nodded, understanding more than he could probably know. “Okay,” you said softly, your thumb brushing over the back of his hand one more time before you let go.
Namjoon gave you a small, almost imperceptible nod, his shoulders lifting in a resigned breath before he stepped past you and toward the door leading out to the balcony. You watched him for a moment, chewing your lip as a million different thoughts unleashed in your mind. Maybe this was it—the moment that he realized everything had been a mistake. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been aware of the consequences so far. But perhaps now he regretted ever asking you to come along, regretted just how big the lie you spun has gotten, how it was now seeping back into your day-to-day life back home.
You lingered for a while, lost in the muddle of your thoughts, trying to steady the whirlwind in your chest. Minutes passed, but nothing seemed to quiet your restless mind. Pouring yourself a glass of wine offered only a fleeting sense of calm—kike standing in the eye of a hurricane while the chaos swirled just out of grasp.
Finally, after about fifteen minutes, you grabbed a water bottle—a little gesture that somehow cemented your resolve. You reminded yourself that this was simply what a good friend would do, and with that thought, you headed towards the balcony.
As you reached the door, you hesitated for just a second, unsure if you should interrupt the space he had taken for himself. But the thought of leaving him alone, unsure, and potentially unravelling further without you there, spurred you forward.
You stepped outside quietly, the cold air hitting your face and clearing your mind.
Namjoon was leaning against the railing, eyes staring out at the city lights, distant and lost in thought. His posture was tense, his body language closed off, like he was carrying the weight of something heavy.
Taking a slow breath, you walked up beside him, offering the water bottle as a simple gesture. “Thought you might need this,” you said gently, your voice soft against the backdrop of the night.
Namjoon glanced at you, a brief flicker of something in his eyes before he looked back out at the view. His hand hovered over the bottle, but he didn’t take it immediately. The silence between you two felt thick, but you weren’t in a rush for him to fill it with words.
The faint blush across his cheeks was still evident even in the cold air, and being this close, you could catch the scent of spiced wine and whiskey on his breath. Maybe that was why you didn’t question it—his intentions—when he leaned in ever so slightly, caging you against the railing of the balcony. His eyes searched yours, his lips tantalizingly close, the space between you evaporating as his breath brushed against your skin.
Your fingers gripped the cold metal of the railing, grounding yourself as the city lights blurred behind him, their brightness eclipsed by the intensity of his gaze.
“I really want to kiss you right now.” He said softly, his voice low and almost reverent, as if even voicing the thought would break the spell.
You let out a breathy laugh, a huff of exasperation you couldn’t quite contain. “Namjoon,” you said, barely above a whisper. “There’s no one around.”
The words should have been a reason to stop, to call this what it was: a charade, a performance. But instead, his lips curved into the faintest of smiles, his eyes shimmering with something you couldn’t name.
“I know,” he murmured. His lips hovered just above yours, his breath mingling with yours in the chilled air, reminding you just how intoxicated you both were.
For a heartbeat, he froze, as though waiting for you to stop him.
But you didn’t.
The kiss was soft at first, a tentative exploration, as though he was waiting for you to pull away. But when you didn’t, when you leaned into him, he pressed harder, more insistent. It wasn’t just a kiss—it was the shattering of every barrier you’d built, the collapse of all your carefully laid plans to keep this friendship intact, to keep it fake.
Your hands found his chest, clutching at the fabric of his sweater as his moved to cup your face, tilting you closer like you were something precious. His thumb brushed over your cheekbone, sending shivers down your spine as he deepened the kiss, his resolve crumbling as fast as yours.
He left you breathless, every nerve in your body alight, your chest rising and falling in sync with his. The warmth of his forehead against yours grounded you for a moment, as if the world had tilted on its axis, the alcohol in your blood suddenly going to your head, and this was the only thing holding you steady.
His forehead stayed pressed against yours, his breath shaky when he pulled back. You stood there, still reeling from the kiss, your heart pounding in your chest as his breath mingled with yours. The warmth of his forehead against yours felt like the only anchor in a sea of confusion. You weren’t sure if you were both still caught up in the intoxication of the night, the wine and whiskey blurring your sense of reality, or if there was something deeper at play.
But then he spoke, voice raw, hoarse, like the word scraped out of his throat, and cut through the haze.
“Fuck.”
It was the kind of word that felt like a confession, like a moment of clarity in the middle of chaos. And as much as you wanted to believe it was just a slip, a fleeting moment brought on by alcohol and the weight of your shared history, something deep inside you couldn't shake the feeling that it was more than that.
You pulled back slightly, your hands still resting against his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your fingertips. His eyes were wide, almost panicked, searching yours as if looking for something—anything—that would make this make sense. But nothing did. Not the kiss, not his reaction, and certainly not the way your heart refused to calm down.
This had been a mistake, hadn’t it?
A drunken mistake. A slip. And now, standing in the aftermath, you couldn't tell whether you were relieved or devastated.
His lips parted like he was going to say something, but then the words fell short. Instead, he ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head slightly, as if trying to clear the fog that had settled over him.
“I… I didn’t mean to… I don’t know what I was thinking,” Namjoon muttered, his voice thick with frustration.
You swallowed hard, your hands still gripping his sweater as you tried to make sense of it all. “Neither did I.”
The weight of the moment hung heavy between you, both of you searching for an explanation, but finding absolutely none.
#namjoon x reader#namjoon x you#bts smut#namjoon imagine#namjoon scenarios#namjoon smut#bts x fem!reader#bts x reader#bts x y/n#bts x you#the holiday pretense
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lord please save her for me
paige bueckers x fem oc
story info • chapter one • chapter two
hello baddies! 💋⭐️ nsfw! smutttttt munch fingering all the good stuff cheating 😵💫 i don’t want to talk too much but my head is a mess lol and it has been for a while and i have zero motivation to write and everything i do write, i hate. lowkey wish i never started this but i will see it out until the end. love yall x
chapter three:
“i missed the way you taste.” paige mumbled into lenis core inbetween flicks of her tongue. she had leni sat on the couch, legs spread, face buried inbetween while she kneeled on the ground. one hand was planted firmly on lenis thick thigh and she squeezed it each time leni moved, trying to keep her in place. her other hand was tweaking and pinching lenis nipple and the petite girl groaned in satisfaction at paiges touch.
“fuck- i missed this feeling.” leni moaned, head falling back to rest on the couch.
“how much?” paige mused, the vibrations from her words making leni shudder, “s-so much.”
paige pushed up lenis legs so they were bent, feet on the couch, “hold your legs for me len.” paige instructed, placing lenis hands on her calves, keeping her spread out position in place.
her slender fingers teased at lenis folds, already dripping with arousal from paiges mouth, “don’t tease paige.” leni breathed, bucking her hips up needily. “i’ve thought about this everyday for the last year. having you like this again. legs open, pussy calling my name. i’ll tease until you’re crying if i want to.” leni had almost forgotten what paige got like during sex. it had been so long, paiges dominant ways had faded from her memory. but she missed it. salacious words and tight grips, the thought alone made the girls heart race.
paige didn’t tease for long, leaning down she let a glob of spit fall from her mouth straight onto lenis cunt. she spread the saliva around before gently pushing two fingers in. “fuckkk.” her movements started off slow and soft, basking in the feeling of lenis walls finally being around her again. but paiges head was spinning just as much as lenis. she had missed this so much, she didn’t want this moment to end. she wanted to go round after round, all day long.
she was quick to fasten her pace, squelching sounds and heavy breathing filling the room, “shit- keep going paige. don’t stop.” leni urged and she moved her hips, pushing herself further onto to paiges fingers. leni was losing the ability to hold her legs open, arms falling slack but paige didn’t care, she simply held lenis legs open herself as she continued driving into her. with a third finger now in the mix leni could feel the stretch and it made her toes curls and eyes screw shut, the feeling could only be described as euphoric.
“does she fuck you like this?” paige rasped, pressing her thumb to lenis clit. the girl was unable to speak, any words that wanted to come out were stuck in lenis throat and revealed themselves as chocked moans. “i said does. she. fuck. you. like. this?” paige repeated and with each word came a hammering to lenis g-spot. she shook her head giving the blonde some form of response but that didn’t satisfy paige, “say it. say it or you’re not cumming.”
“fuck paige, no!” leni gasps, “no one fucks me like you.” her thighs begin to shake as if speaking had somehow pushed her over the edge, any energy she was using to make this moment last and not finish too quick had gone. “anyone?” paige halts her movements, fingers stationary inside leni.
paige had been lenis first, she knew that and she took pride in it. she wouldn’t have cared either way, she wasn’t a slut shamer but there was something about knowing she was first girl person to touch leni, make her cum, have her screaming her name, that was personal to paige. she had assumed that leni had slept with riley but who else?
“how many people have fucked you since me?” paige asks leaving leni confused and chasing a high that was quickly subsiding. “what?” leni pants, looking down at a kneeling paige. “how many people have fucked you? been inside you but never made you feel the way i do?” she curves her fingers earning a short gasp, “jesus paige! i don’t know, two…three?” “including riley?” she curls her fingers again, “f-four.” “four people and i’m still number one?” “yes paige, fuck yes. you’ll always be number one. just let me cum…please.” leni begs throwing her head back in frustration.
“never forget it leni. never forget how i made you feel. how i make you feel. this pussy is mine, you understand?” leni knows better than to simply nod, “yes, paige.” “good girl.” and with that paige finds her stride again, ploughing into leni with no mercy.
she knew the girls body like the back of her hand. she knew what she liked and she was about to show her that she never forgot. dipping her head down, paige licked her lips before diving into leni sopping cunt. leni had an immediate reaction to paiges mouth, her thighs closing around her head. paige was encapsulated but she loved it, the wetness in her boxers only intensified the harder leni squeezed.
“shit paige- right there.” leni mewled and paige smiled into her cunt as she felt her tensing around her fingers. the moans spilling from the pretty girls mouth and the way her body twitched and writhed on the couch only spurred paige on. she sucked her clit into her mouth and pushed her fingers as deep as they could go. leni was incoherent at this point and paige was in her element.
“gonna- gonna cum paige.” leni choked out as she reached for paiges head. paige wanted to speak, she wanted to talk leni through it but she was trapped by the girls thighs, completely buried in her, she couldn’t breathe let alone talk but she made sure leni knew she was right there. linking her free hand into lenis she held it tight as the girl came undone on her face. thighs tightening, body shaking, a string of curse words being cried out.
paige basked in the reaction lenis body had to her. legs limp and quivering. chest heaving, lips slightly parted, cheeks flushed. “you’re so fucking hot.” the blonde expressed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, edging her way up until she was face to face with leni. she kissed her slowly, hands trailing up her sides as she did. “wanna feel you paige.” leni whimpered as her own hands found paiges waist band, pulling the string on her sweats to loosen them, “im all yours len, go ahead.”
leni and paige switched positions so paige was laid on the couch and leni tactfully pulled down her sweat pants and boxers and they pool at her ankles. leni was never a tease, she couldn’t resist, she didn’t have enough self control to take her time with paige. she pushed her fingers into her own mouth, making them slick enough to slide into paige, “shit len.” paige rasped as her eyes focused on the way leni moved her fingers inside of her.
lenis movements were precise and perfect and her fingers knocked into the gummy spot inside of paige over and over. her thumb rubs circles over paiges clit, making her blue eyes rolling in her head, “fuck leni, right there.” paige murmured and leni listened, focused and determined to make paige cum. “want you to cum for me p.” leni cooed, slipping another finger inside and paiges back arched at the stretch, “im gonna, dont stop.” the blonde begged and again, leni listened. her fingers continued to pound in and out, paiges wetness dripping down and onto the couch. her thumb work was nasty as it swirled and pressed on paiges swollen clit. the athlete had fucked multiple people since breaking up with leni, so many so she’d be embarrassed if leni asked her to put a number on it like she did her. but one thing paige knew for certain was, no one made her feel the way the curly haired girl in between her legs made her feel.
paiges heart was palpitating, stomach tensing and legs twitching as that familiar tightness built in her abdomen, “i can feel it paige, i know you’re close.” leni purred and she lowered her face to paiges cunt, sucking her clit into her mouth and thats all paige needed to push her over the edge. “fuck- im cumming.” she groaned out, latching onto lenis curly bun and pushing her face into her.
leni continued to ride paige through her high, tongue still swirling and fingers still hammering. leni could have continued until paige came again and again but her ringtone rang out from her phone on the coffee table and stopped her in her stride. before the brunette girl could see who was calling her, paige had her phone in her hand and swiped to answer the call, pressing the phone onto speaker and holding it out to leni. seeing rileys contact illuminate the screen made lenis jaw drop.
“hello, len? are you there?”
“uh huh, im here.” lenis voice was shaky as she glared at paige who just smirked back.
“im leaving work early baby, wanted to see if you needed me to bring you anything?” paige rolled her eyes at the use of the pet name and leaned forward so she could reach lenis hand that was just buried inside of her.
“um…no, i’m go-” leni couldn’t finish her sentence because paige had gripped her hand and pushed her wet fingers into her mouth.
“what len? are you ok?”
“mmhmm.” leni tried her best to talk while paige pushed her fingers deeper in her throat.
“you don’t sound it. lucky im coming over, i’ll look after you.” paige rolled her eyes again before hanging up the call and leni immediately pushed her away.
“that was fucked up!” leni fumed, standing up from the couch and pulling on her discarded panties and shorts.
“that was hot.” paige corrected her, also pulling up her boxers and sweat pants.
“paige thats my girlfriend and she on her way here. you need to leave…like now.” lenis quick change of character confused paige and the blonde girl frowned behind her glasses.
“leni. i just ate you out-“
“yeah, you still need to leave. you can’t be here when she gets back.”
“what is happening right now?”
“i don’t know paige. i never know what’s going on between us. you really need to go.” leni wrapped her blanket back around her and she walked to the door.
“have you not heard everything i’ve been saying? i ended it with camilla. i want you, len.”
“i heard you paige. i just need to think.”
“what the fuck was that then?” paige motions to the couch that her and leni were just on. images of their bodies on each other’s running through her mind.
“i don’t know paige. you’re like a drug. i can’t stop but it’s not good for me.”
“so you just fucked me, let me fuck you and now you’re going to play happy families with your girlfriend?” paige was raising her voice now, what was leni playing at?
“stop asking all these questions paige! i don’t know! i don’t what i’m doing! i don’t know what i’m thinking! please just leave.”
“i’ll leave but this isn’t it leni. i know i fucked up back then but i promise you, it’ll be different this time. just trust me, please.” leni was holding the door open, refusing to look at paige.
“give me time.” was all the girl said and paige didn’t argue, she simply kissed lenis cheek and walked out of the apartment.
closing the door behind paige, leni let out a frustrated breath, sinking down to the floor, she rested her head on her knees. she knew she had a decision to make but she had worked so hard to heal from paige and she wasn’t sure she could through that again but there was something about paige that had her in a chokehold. something so consuming and overwhelming that she couldn’t ignore it.
paige was equally as frustrated and confused. with her head rested on her steering wheel, her heart raced and her eyes stung, if she blinked, she was sure she would cry. and that’s how she knew this was different. paige bueckers had never cried over a girl. she’d never cared enough to be emotionally involved but leni was different. she was like no other and it scared paige but she was willing to look that fear in the eye if it meant she got to call leni hers.
thank u for reading baddies! as always let me know if u wanna be added to the tag list 💋
tag list: @unadulteratedcyclepaper @heart4caitlin @jadasogay @avvwritesstufff @bueckersp
story info • chapter one • chapter two
#paige bueckers#uconn wbb#wlw#lovegalor333#lgbtq#fanfic#paige bueckers fanfiction#lord please save her for me#lpshfm#sophs works 🪽
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During the day you are a journalist, but at night you record your voice for the enjoyment of anyone in need of some 'nightly help'. When a piece about the band Ghost and it's ministry brings you to Copia's world, he suffers. You are his favorite content maker of the voice and ASMR kind, and now you are there for who knows how long. Speaking to him in your lovely voice.
18+. MDNI
AO3 Chapters: I || Characters: F!Reader, Original Female and Male Character(s) Papa Emeritus IV Copia, Papa Emeritus The I Primo, Papa Emeritus the II Secondo, Papa Emeritus Emeritus III Terzo, Papa Emeritus 0 Nihil, Sister Imperator, Ghoulette(s), Ghoul(s), all is listed and updated on AO3 as we go along Pairings: Reader/Copia, Reader/Ghouls, Copia/Ghouls, OC/Primo, Terzo/Omega, Nihil/Sister Imperator, Fic Contents in general (Will be updated): Meet-Cute, Fluff, Smut, humor, Mutual Pining, Teasing, Sub!Copia, Needy!Copia, Switch!Copia, Voice Kink, praise kink, porn watching/listening, Journalism, Older Man/Younger Woman, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, masturbation, all is listed and updated on AO3 as we go along
Current Chapter Contents: Meet-Cute, pining, flirting, suggestive dialogue, Content: 3.5k words Author's Notes: Hello, I haven't posted a fic on tumblr for a long while now, but especially like this. It was usually just between me and friends so there wasn't much to put before the fic itself lol But there are a lot of fans here who may not be perusing AO3, so I thought I'd post this here :) DEFINITELY since I removed all my Tumblr links and any social media ones too with the current climate of the US and AO3 mods warning us too for our safety. But Anyways! Don't expect timely updates, I am busy with work, suffering my usual ADHD, and have many other fics being written on the side (Ghost ones in particular too and a character/reader or two from those WIPs may just make a guest appearance here :)c ). I also am not too sure yet how this whole thing will play out or how long, but we'll see! I hope you all enjoy <3 besitos all around!!
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"Do you know that sister's name?"
"Hmm?"
"The one, over there with her lips painted the dark-red?"
"Mmmm — no, I believe she may be one of the newer followers."
Copia could not tear his eyes off of you even if he wanted to and he stood there in a mix of emotions fighting over what he should take the time to feel first. Amongst the awe and excitement, the two that hit hardest when he first became aware of you was embarrassment and fear. An odd cocktail never felt before in all his years; and to top it all off, he still felt the lust coiling within, tightening between his thighs.
His ghoulette was by his side, all six-inches taller than him and dubbed 'Cirrus' by their fans. As she sipped away at a juice-box, her own masked eyes examined you, curiously trying to find what had obtained her summoner's attention. You were as average as they came for the clergy's disciples. She could see the parts that usually called out to any of the papas: thick hips, plump ass, beautiful smile, and an atmosphere of something dark misted about your form. Many siblings were like that though, something bringing you all to a dark following that was kinder than whatever else the secular world accepted…So what could have her beloved Copia so hypnotized by you? And could she join in first before the other ghouls did?
"Do you know her?" Cirrus gives a gentle nudge to his shoulder, lowering her eyes to him. He looks worse than she thought when he first spoke up. Eyes slightly wide though she knows he is doing his best to keep them from getting any bigger; lips parted, so stunned by just seeing you; and his pale cheeks are dusted red in the way she loves when he gets flustered. Dare she say it, Copia looks like he's just seen the reaper themselves, clad in a tempting form, beckoning him over with the curl of a finger.
With a little shake of his head, Copia licks his lips then presses them together. "No…No, I've never…"
Cirrus doesn't believe him one bit, she can feel it in their bond as Ghoul and Papa, though she won't say so. He looks like he's suffering enough.
Copia can hear the voice from where he stands so far away. He's heard it before and that is enough to make dread fall in the pit of his stomach. It sounds just like it always does, perhaps not as purposeful, yet the same low tone nonetheless. And like a Pavlovian effect he was never aware of being created, he feels a hot rush of pleasure race up his body to make all the small hairs stand-up, then back down to cause a twitch in his pants. You hadn't said anything enticing in the slightest, he had heard your laugh first then something about taxes, nothing else. Regardless, the memories, his fantasies, fill his head all at once and he must force back his cringing.
He knows you voice because he hears it at night when he needs to relax — when he does not have the time or desire to find a night time partner. Constantly he is driven to you, no time wasted as he knows exactly where you are. And when he closes his eyes, enveloped by you soft voice dripping with sex, he succumbs to the provocative words guiding him to sweet release.
Papa Emeritus The Fourth, Copia, knows your voice from the erotic audio you post online and he loves to get off to the most. That is where the embarrassment takes root, not for listening to audio porn, not really for it being your main role in kinky roleplay, but that he's become practically addicted to you. Always waiting for a notification that you've updated. Imagining your voice even when not clicked onto one of your videos, knowing your tone so well he can use it to make new scenarios to get off to in the meantime. Worst, he's found himself daydreaming of meeting you one day and what he'd say or do to make you smile and laugh and possibly go on a simple date with him. He's a big pathetic fan of a women he knew he'd never meet and was content on just supporting with donations to you subscriber account for more of your work.
And you're fucken here, in the same building, wearing the most beautiful pair of trousers that hug your wide, thick hips and blouse that shows off your supple breasts and cleavage; enjoying yourself talking to another man. Not talking to Copia who stands there stupidly with a juice-box in hand like a child. Which is all for the best, because if you came any closer (was right in front of him with all your pretty smiles) he'd probably make an absolute dumbass of himself.
Maybe he's just jinxed himself with that last thought, because you then looking in his direction. Copia's breath stops working, it's caught up in his nose and stays there like he can't remember how to exhale. Then you are bidding the other man goodbye (fucken good) and making your away to Copia (fucken NO), or to be more specific, Cirrus who he now realizes is waving her long arm up in a wave and obviously grinning at you (Fucken DAMN IT). His ghouls mean well, they are his beloved beasts, but they could be so frustrating to handle.
"Cirrus, what the fu —" He hisses lowly, daring a growl to seep into it so Cirrus understands how angry he is with her.
Of course it doesn't do anything, because when you are much closer she begins to greet you. "Hello! Sorry for interrupting, I'm trying to meet all our new members."
You are even worse for Copia up close where he can finally put a detailed face to your voice he knows so well. He's tried to make up an appearance for your voice, a temptress figure lying across a plush bed like Elvira the Mistress of Darkness herself. There are so many versions of this woman, all who commonly have those wide child bearing hips made for tight-fitting jeans, but none of them have stayed for long. They don't fit the voice, the words, the tingling sensations that crawl up his heated body from head to toe.
Now he's found it — you are truly there, and everything clicks into place. Now he's going to have to do his damned hardest not to get off to images of you, even if it is harmless (he's not going to be stupid and act like a delusional fanboy, naturally that won't be the case). Everything would feel too weird, certainly so when he is now going to be (forced) into meeting you face to face; his dick may think otherwise, but the shame is going to be waiting there after when all is over.
"Wonderful! Though, I'm not really a member of your church." You smile shyly up to the ghoulette, the skin around your eyes showing the smallest of wrinkles.
Copia bites the inside of his cheek. You're actually younger than he thought, heard, and imagined. The voice matches the body, yet still lies to anyone passing by (or hearing it while curled up in bed listening). Despite a mom-body and voice, you actually appear to be early 30s at the oldest, and late 20s at the youngest. Nary a cease on your face that is from age, only the lines that tell of how much you may have smiled over your lifetime so far. And that both worries Copia while also excites him; you must have a partner with how young and gorgeous you are; obviously you wouldn't care for someone of his age and looks. For once in his own life, there is a sense of disgust — you are far too young as much as you are a full-grown adult with experience to make your own choices smartly.
Cirrus cants her head a bit. "That must be why you're not in a habit. So why are you here?" It's so bluntly put, Copia wants to pinch her pointed ear for being so rude.
"I'm here to write up an article about you all and the band!" Your grin is so wide and your voice (pits below, you voice) is filled with glee.
"All of us ghouls and Papa?!"
You wiggle your head side to side and squint your eyes. "Well, the siblings and clergy members too, of course. It's so crazy how your church has reached out to the masses via Ghost. Usually other churches are going door to door, or being annoying at bus stops and stuff. Just handing out brochure like they're selling you a time-share or something." The annoyance seeps off your whole body and voice, like you've heard something a million times and are sick of it.
The ghoul joins in, matching the energy as she lifts her head up to the sky. "Absolutely! I'm so happy the whole Ghost project was made! Being summoned to join was the best thing to happen in my existence!"
Your face brightens up at that, scrambling in your pocket while also speaking and looking to the ghoulette. "So you really are summoned from Hell?"
As you quickly scratch away at a small notebook now in your hand, Cirrus begins to hop on the ends of her booted feet. "Yeah! Any high-ranking clergy member can summon beasts from the pits of Hell, but when a Papa does, it's super special! I felt it when the words echoed down below, and when Papa's voice was echoing in my head, I totally let myself relax and be brought up to this plane!"
"So he like… pretty much whispers in your ear — if you had one with a form even then, of course."
"…Not really? It was…Kinda like…" Then the tall air ghoul is turning her eyes to Copia. Their amber color is truly shining, so relaxed and almost longing as she gazes on the man; she knows how it looks, its just like Copia's face was when he was gazing on you a moment ago.
"Singing. Papa was singing to me and only me. Copia has such a bewitching voice, he called for me amongst the crowds of so many others…but he needed an air ghoul, and my essence…"
"I felt you there, my ghoul." Copia doesn't try to stop himself as reverence for his demon pours out of him not only in his words, but the piece of his soul that bonds them together in something like a hug. "All of the others felt so wonderful, but just a brush over your being and I was enraptured. So I focused, then you were — mnnn….well, you were there covered in blood, haha."
Cirrus' fang gleam as she giggles. "You're so sweet papa, you even took your frock off and covered me up despite the blood!"
"You were shivering, cara! As your summoner I had to instantly make sure you were ok and taken care of." He remembers the rush of protectiveness he felt when she was there on the circle of old runes — he had purposefully written them just as he practiced for days before, an intent behind every line. That was how it was with every ghoul he summoned, that need to ensure their new livelihood was safe the moment he saw their bare bodies mucked with thick blood that still shone so brightly. Perhaps he had actually fallen in love with each of them then, those decades old beasts who had lived a deadly life away from the Human realm.
Suddenly Cirrus is speaking again, but facing you who had been standing there frozen with the tip of your pen on the pad of paper. "This is so rude of me! I haven't even introduced you to Papa yet!"
Copia snaps his attention to you and he watches you blink a few times before you give him a small smile. The thought that you may be disappointed now to pay him any thought and are just being polite as Cirrus brings him up, swirls in his head. Why else would you give such an indifferent face. He doesn't blame you: he'd be more interested in such an impressive figure as Cirrus too.
"Papa this is …"
There hadn't been an exchange of names yet, but you don't hesitate to reach out a hand and tell them both yours. Copia only hopes his hand isn't as shaky as he feels — grateful for his gloves that keep his sweaty palms hidden.
"Please, call me Copia — Papa is my father." A fucken joke? A dad joke no less!
But your eyes fall to the ground, hiding away a big smile as you chuckle so sweetly it makes Copia whole body heat up in a flush. "Copia," No, no, no, you've said his name in your perfect voice"that's a unique one, really. It's very nice to meet you." And your hand gives his a quick squeeze, then releases.
"Me too. I mean, to meet you too! Eh, your name its, uhh, very nice too!"
You playfully look like you'd beg to differ, but say nothing and now truly grin. "You're very sweet, Copia. Very nice to little 'ol me."
In a race to keep himself from groaning aloud, he pulls his drink up for what was meant to be a sip, only to become a gulp that he swallows loudly instead; he fails to see to see Cirrus covering her mouth to keep her own laughter at bay. After a few clearings grunts of his throat, he attempts to keep the conversation going.
"I love your lipstick!"
"Aww, thanks! I love the darker colors." You give their plump shape a pucker like you are going in for a kiss.
"Though, they tend to be hard in keeping from staining everything my lips touch." You lick your lips, the tint to them not budging, stained in that dark color despite the long hours the party has gone.
Endless images fill Copia's head, each one of your lips pouting, wrapped around so many things, daring to see them below him. He wonders how they would feel not just there, but on his shoulders, across his chest, around his fingers, pressed on his cheeks, locked with his so deeply he'd be weaing your lipstick for hours after. Having their shape imprinted on every inch of his body to make him look like some lovesick fool.
There is nothing left in his juice-box to cover any reaction he has (especially physically), so in a moment of desperation Copia turns his head away and raises his juice to no one in particular far off. "Oh, excuse me! Someone over there is wanting me to go over! Look, more drinks!"
He looks back at you, finding you looking confused and curious. "I'm sorry to end this conversation so soon, please excuse me! I hope we can talk more another time." Dare he thinks it, dear God does he hope so.
"Of course, I'm sure we will with my —" Before you can continue, Copia is speed walking away with an odd limp in his step. You watch his back disappear in the crowd of so many, lost in the sea of blacks and reds like an enigma.
Cirrus sighs and rolls her eyes. "He's a very busy, you know. Still relatively new to his role now as Papa Emeritus."
"I understand…"
Your voice sounds very much like wistfulness to Cirrus' ears, making her wonder if there is a chance she can meddle a little in things that fill her head now. When she tells the others, they'll definitely feel the same. Its very cute to watch you continue staring where Copia went, how your soft lifts all but pout. Oh, how Cirrus wants in, she wants to have a taste of you…after Copia does, of course, if he would like to (and it seems so). The waiting game is one that any ghoul would be impatient about, but the reward is all worth it.
"You were saying something as he left. You'll be seeing Papa again?"
Nodding and turning back to the ghoul, you come back into the moment. "Yes, I will be setting up interviews with many peeople here — you ghouls included — but Copia mostly. I want to hear about his life before and after his promotion. Pick his brain at a few things and learn more about the clergy."
"It sounds like you know a bit already. Not everyone is aware of how ghouls are summoned."
"Aware is the key word here, until you both told me more right now. I've done some reading beforehand by fellow fans and articles online, skimmed a book or two. That's part of my job as a journalist."
That piques Cirrus' interest. "You are a fan of Ghost?"
A soft blush covers your cheeks, and you bite your bottom lips softly in a smile. Your shyness fills the ghoulette's cursed blood with flames, feeling a desire to chase and capture you in her arms; but just as quickly she covers it up, knowing how fearsome her face will look if you catch it in that moment.
"Yes…Not like a huge, huge fan though! But when the opportunity to do a story about religion came up for the news site I work for, I felt the need to cover your guys' church."
"You are so kind!" Cirrus steps closer. It's the same move she uses when it comes to anyone she finds interest in. Yet, what you do next is absolutely new.
"I've been told that before," your face changes, eyes lidded with something dark and alluring that makes Cirrus' focus zone in solely on you. Not only that, but there's a new timber to your voice, your words, that makes her ears tingle enough, she feels it like a warm blanket over her body. "I'm truly glad I chose you and this church as my topic"
Then you take a step closer as well, and there's little space between either bodies. "I'm grateful I'm here to meet you. You're so much taller than photos and videos would lead someone to believe; and so stunning in person!"
"You didn't choose me specifically, silly. You chose all of Ghost, all the ghouls and Papa." Cirrus can't take her eyes off you — doesn't want you to stop talking.
"True, but still, you are all so skilled and lovely in your own ways. I can't wait to talk to each of you one-on-one. I'll make sure you are comfortable and satisfied with our time together."
And Cirrus has never felt herself so captured. She's the lioness here, the one they joke about keeping behind chains so she doesn't play that ghoulish game of run and seek. And despite that, here she is, feeling so heated and at ease by a mere human who is much shorter and far less powerful than she. This must be whatever has her powerful summoner so uneasy, like he knows what strengths are hidden under that plushy flesh Cirrus now wants to caress and bite at.
If Copia doesn't get his shit together before Cirrus and the others snap, he's going to end up with some seriously sloppy and marked seconds. There could be a chance they'd ruin you for anyone else but their pack.
Cirrus' hair blows up a bit, a spark of her element rising enough it seeps out of her in a small gust. Absolutely embarrassing, though not enough to make her feel an ounce of it.
You grin so widely she fears your face will split in half. Stepping back and combing fingers in you hair to push it back, you put your notebook and pen back in your pocket. "I'm so sorry, uhh —"
"Cirrus, that's what you fans call me. I like it." I'm going to make sure you call it out without realzing it when I get my claws on you.
"Cirrus, like the clouds in the sky. I love it!" You give her a polite nod. "I'm sorry to run off, Cirrus, but I need to talk with Sister Imperator about setting up times for the interviews." You nod over to where the blonde woman stands, arm hooked around Nihil's elbow like a leash to keep him close.
"Of course, don't worry — I can't wait for ours!"
"Wonderful! I'll talk to you later then!"
"You bet!"
You are off with a confident stride in your step. The way your hips sway in those perfect trousers that show off your assets, how your shoes click on the marble floor echoes throughout the building. Cirrus squeezes her juice-box without thinking, and whatever was left is now a puddle on the floor as she watches you walk off. Only one thought stands out from the dozens of new ones.
Copia better hope his fat, perky ass gets interviewed first.
#papa emeritus iv#cardinal copia#ghost bc#ghost the band#ghost band#ghost fanfiction#papa emeritus x reader#papa emeritus iv x reader#copia smut#copia x reader#my writing
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GRADUATION✩༶‧˚

GENRE + T/W: sfw, fluff. mentions mental health. WORD COUNT: 3.4k words. TAGS: satoru gojo x fem!oc. lover girl!oc. high school lovers.
SYNOPSIS: satoru and oc gojo girlfriend finally graduate from tokyo jujutsu high school! AUTHOR'S NOTE: happy easter and graduation season for those who are graduating this year! 💚 i realized that when i was writing this, oc gojo girlfriend loves satoru so much. i used to write that satoru loved her more, but after this fic, i'm not so sure lol. REMINDER: if you want to imagine yourself in oc gojo girlfriend's character descriptions, please do!
tokyo jujutsu high library
“who’s most likely to be on the bachelor?” you asked your bestfriend, shoko ieiri.
even though he wasn’t graduating this year, you and shoko both said in unison, “kento nanami.”
you giggled at the thought of how uncomfortable nanami would be as a bachelor contestant, “you know nanami would absolutely hate being on the bachelor though.”
shoko nodded her head in agreement while reading the other high school superlatives. “what about life of the party?”
again in unison, “satoru gojo.”
“how about this one?” shoko asked, “most likely to sleep through an earthquake.”
“if that’s not me, it has to be tsumiki.” you laughed out loud, knowing that your sleep was sacred to you and nothing could wake you up, “—and worst case of senioritis goes to you, shoko.”
shoko couldn’t disagree with that superlative. she grinned and read the next prompt.
“cutest couple obviously goes to you and gojo.” shoko chuckled before sighing. she pursed her lips, “ah—best bromance…”
“you already know who that should’ve went to,” you said with a soft frown, “satoru has been having a hard time this week—he thinks he’s good at hiding his emotions from me, but i know him too well.”
this week was your graduation ceremony for your whopping class of 3 tokyo jujutsu high sorcerers. jujutsu high school graduations weren’t that big of a celebration like most traditional high school graduations, but it was still important for the school to commemorate their young sorcerers on graduating—and also even making it to graduation given the dangers of being a sorcerer.
suguru geto, who was also known as satoru’s other half, his one and only, wasn’t able to be here to graduate with you, shoko, and satoru due to his decision to go his own way. suguru had a different vision in life, and he decided to leave everything behind to achieve it—including leaving behind his bestfriend, satoru. (read ‘to be present’ here)
shoko sighed as you looked back at her. it must’ve also been hard on shoko, who was a part of their trio. sashisu was shoko’s, satoru’s, and suguru’s group name. they were practically inseparable before you came along.
“suguru should’ve been here too.” shoko said quietly.
you patted her back softly, a measly attempt to comfort her, “i know.”
you heard the library door slide open, satoru waltzed through the door with a blue lollipop in his hand.
“you done perfecting your valedictorian speech yet?” satoru asked as he sat down beside you, kicking his feet on top of the library table as you and shoko closed out of the yearbook superlative tab.
you smiled warmly at him, “yeah, it’s been done.”
of course you were the valedictorian of your class. you took your studies very seriously compared to shoko and satoru. not only were you the valedictorian, but you also planned the graduation dinner that followed the very short ceremony. as the student body president, you had a lot to take care of this past month.
“can’t wait to hear it,” satoru said with a grin, “i better be getting a shoutout in your speech.”
“a shoutout for what?” shoko teased, “being (y/n)’s biggest pain in the ass the past three years she’s been here?”
satoru gasped, “more like being the biggest love of her life! if it wasn’t for jujutsu high, she would have never met me, shoko!”
you laughed at the two bantering back and forth before staring out into the distance. it was beautiful sunny day. tomorrow, you'd be graduates.
later that night
you shot a glare at your boyfriend, “satoru, did you iron your uniform for tomorrow like i asked you to?”
he smiled innocently at you, tilting his frosty head to the side in his attempt to look cute—which meant 'whoops, no'.
you sighed and held out your hands while satoru passed you his uniform with a grin, attempting to sneak a kiss on your cheek. you tried your best not to burst out laughing. hell, you were so in love with this man.
you popped off his jujutsu high pins and set them on his nightstand before stepping out of his room to head to the campus laundry room.
you heard satoru call out to you as you walked down the hallway.
“thanks sweetheart! i love you!”
a smile danced across your face. that satoru gojo whom you loved so silly, what were you going to do with him?
as you waited for the iron to heat up, you recited your graduation speech in your head. you were nervous. what if you tripped down the stairs while you grabbed your diploma from principal yaga? what if you messed up your valedictorian speech? or worse, what if you embarrassed yourself in front of the entire jujutsu high faculty and alumni?
"your forehead is going to have lines for days if you don't stop scowling."
you turned around at the familiar voice. satoru had come to find you.
"you can pay for my botox then." you retorted, sighing as you turned around to face him.
"what could your pretty little head be thinking about?" satoru asked. he hated to see anything but a smile on your face. “i know it’s not about how much you love me.”
you scoffed and chewed on your bottom lip before you grabbed the iron, gliding it down satoru's uniform.
"i'm worried i'm going to trip down the stairs, mess up my speech, or just completely embarrass myself in front of the jujutsu high faculty and alumni."
satoru gave you the ‘are you kidding me’ look and took the hot iron from your hands. he set it down on the ironing board and grabbed your shoulders.
"look at me." he commanded before resting his finger under your chin to guide your face to his, "sweetheart, the (y/n) (l/n) i know is perfect in every way. you walk confidently like this world is yours even in the highest heels, so i know for a fact that you won't trip down the stairs. you are a natural born leader and people gravitate towards you, so i know that your speech will grab everyone’s attention. you won't mess up because you've been working on this for the last month, i know that because i've been right by your side while you recited your speech a million times. and lastly, you won't embarrass yourself in front of everyone because you're perfect in almost every way. you're the pride and joy of the jujutsu community."
you pouted your lips and tilted your head to the side, "perfect in almost every way?"
"you're mean to me—" satoru teased before pressing a kiss against your lips, "—you don't kiss me in the mornings. which is a deduction to your perfect score."
you giggled as he peppered kisses on your cheek. one of your love languages was words of affirmation, and satoru gojo sure knew how to make you feel affirmed. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and held him close.
"i guess this meanie will sleep with the kids tonight." you whispered as you bantered back with satoru, knowing he'd rather sleep next to you than sleep alone.
he paused and squeezed you tightly before replying to your retort, "wait, i like you even though you're mean. you can bully me all you want, i don't mind."
yours and satoru's laughter filled the laundry room. he didn't think he could get enough of your precious laugh. he'd say any ridiculous thing to help take your mind off of your worries.
the next day: graduation day
"thank you for coming to the 2010 jujutsu high school gradation ceremony." principal yaga began, "after we hear from both myself and principal gakuganji, we will listen to the speeches from the valedictorians of both high schools."
you sat between satoru and shoko, your legs would not stop bouncing in nervousness. after each speech, your heart started to race even faster as your turn came.
"and lastly, we saved the best for last. the valedictorian of tokyo jujutsu high school, (y/n) (l/n), will be giving her speech."
the crowed filled with jujutsu high faculty, alumni, a large amount of jujutsu clans including the gojo clan and your clan started to clap as their eyes followed you to the stage. satoru gave you an encouraging smile and squeezed your hand. he whispered ‘you'll be amazing.’ to you before he let your hand go. you gave him a soft smile before getting out of your seat.
you walked down the side of the auditorium and up the steps to the microphone.
"thank you for gathering here today to celebrate the 4 long years of training, learning, and dealing with satoru gojo." the crowed erupted in laughter as you winked at satoru. he shot a grin back at you.
“i'd like to start off with a moment of silence to remember our fallen comrades and past alumni who have sacrificed their lives to become sorcerers and to protect our community. they have our gratitude and highest appreciation.”
as you gave yourself and the crowd a moment of silence, your heart raced. you were so nervous, your hands started trembling as you fiddled with your printed speech in front of you.
'you won't mess up because you've been working on this for the last month, i know that because i've been right by your side while you recited your speech a million times.'
memories of satoru's encouraging words from last night filled your head as you took a deep breath to continue on with your speech.
"3 years ago, i joined tokyo jujutsu high because i wanted to get away from being home schooled and i wanted to experience this thing called life." you looked out into the crowd to see your clan, quietly watching you. "i didn't know what i was getting myself into at the time, but i have to say, the past three years have been some of the hardest, but most rewarding." (read 'love at first fight' here)
you thought back on the gruesome hand-to-hand combat trainings with mei mei, the tiring, long, and dangerous missions exorcising curses with satoru, suguru, yu, and nanami, the late night study sessions for exams with shoko. as difficult as it was, you'd do it all over... especially if you could meet satoru again.
"i'd like to give a huge shoutout to yaga-sensei, congratulations on your promotion to principal—and thank you for taking on not only two, but three special grade sorcerers during my time here."
a cheer for your sensei, masamichi yaga, erupted through the auditorium as you, satoru, and shoko clapped alongside the crowd.
"this evening is not only about celebrating our academic achievements as students, but also to celebrate becoming official jujutsu sorcerers. now i know that being a jujutsu sorcerer isn't for the faint of heart, nor is it an easy job. it's gruesome, painful not only physically, but mentally. which is why i'm happy to announce that our very own shoko ieiri is going to be hired on as our official in-house doctor for jujutsu high. she will oversee both tokyo and kyoto locations. congrats, shoko!"
applause began for shoko as she stood up from her seat and waved to the crowd. you smiled brightly at your bestfriend—even though you knew she cheated on a majority of her tests. however, shoko's talent in reversed cursed technique was second to none. she would be an amazing doctor, legit or not.
"one thing that happened during my 3 years here at tokyo jujutsu high school that changed my life for the better was—"
satoru muttered, attempting to finish your sentence, "—meeting satoru gojo."
"—becoming a guardian to megumi and tsumiki fushiguro. courtesy of satoru gojo." you laughed, "which i'm also happy to announce that satoru and i will be returning next year to join the tokyo jujutsu high faculty and staff. satoru will be in charge of training first year students while i will be the administrative secretary for both tokyo and kyoto jujutsu high locations." (read 'learn to love' here)
you cleared your throat, "now that we've shared the fun and exciting plans for your three graduates from tokyo jujutsu high school, i'd like to talk about something on a heavier note. those of you who know, know that there was supposed to be 4 students graduating today..."
you felt a lump in your throat, the thought of suguru geto not being here with you, satoru, and shoko shattered a piece of your heart. you were sure satoru and shoko were thinking of him in this moment as well.
"—because of this loss, as the future administrative secretary, i will be implementing reviews and mental health checks on all of our students every quarter. i believe that we need to check in on our students. my office doors will always be open to those who need a shoulder to lean on."
you understood that the idea of mental health was taboo, especially here in japan—but you knew that if you and satoru were going to be raising the next generation of jujutsu sorcerers, that you both were going to make a difference in the lives of your future students. megumi and tsumiki also encouraged that decision, as you and satoru did not want to see them suffer the same fate as suguru.
a loud applause struck the auditorium. satoru smiled proudly as he knew that you were going to make a positive change in the jujutsu society—and with you by his side, he could take on the impossible. even if that meant butting heads with the higher ups and starting out training first year sorcerers. he was going to make this experience fun and exciting for not only you and him, but for his future students as well.
you heard cheering from the gojo clan and your own clan. you saw touya and his new girlfriend, kana, hooting and hollering from their seats. you continued to shine brightly under the auditorium lights.
"before i end my little speech, there are some personal thank you's that i'd like to give. to megumi and tsumiki—you two are my perfect little angels and i will continue to strive to be a good role model for you both. to my fellow classmates—thank you for all the late night study sessions, the delicious meals in the dining hall, fun-filled sleepovers, and wild class trips. to my loving grandparents, genkei and kanao, and my brother, touya—thank you for believing in me and always pushing me to be the best i can be. to the gojo clan—thank you for always supporting me and for giving me someone like satoru." you smiled at the gojo clan's presence in the crowd and then turned back to face satoru. (read 'meet the gojos' here)
satoru gojo was beaming brightly, just like he always did. his blue eyes shined back at yours, awaiting your next line of thanks. your eyes watered as the love you felt for the white-haired sorcerer overflowed from your heart.
"lastly, thank you satoru—for believing in me and loving me unconditionally every single day since the first day we met on the sparring field."
you took one last deep breath and shouted, "congratulations jujutsu high school class of 2010! we made it!"
a final applaud erupted throughout the auditorium. you laughed in relief as you finished your speech and wiped the almost formed tears from your eyes. you watched as the crowd stood up in a standing ovation.
in a crowd full of people, your eyes could spot satoru gojo in a heartbeat.
later that night
after the graduation dinner, you and satoru sat outside in the courtyard of tokyo jujutsu high. the twinkle lights you ordered for the staff to use as decor danced against the night sky, illuminating the courtyard with a soft warm glow. and behind that warm glow, satoru's cerulean blue eyes glimmered. you could have sworn satoru had a blush on his face, almost as if he was embarrassed about something.
“can you believe we’re finally graduated?” you asked satoru in disbelief.
the last 3 years had flown by. you were officially graduated from tokyo jujutsu high. the next step this summer was to move out of the dorms and find a home to fit you, satoru, megumi, and tsumiki.
“not quite yet,” satoru said as he starting to unpin his buttons from his uniform. you gave him the 'what are you doing' look. he chuckled at your reaction.
satoru took off the second button from his uniform, taking your hand to place his button in your palm.
“now we’re officially graduated.”
in japan, there's a high school tradition for boys to give the second button of their uniform to the girl that they loved. this act has a special meaning that is equal to a heartfelt confession.
“isn’t it a no brainer that i should be receiving this button?” you giggled. you admired the button of his uniform in your palm, a sign of affection that basically said that you were his.
satoru leaned in towards your face, sneaking a kiss on your cheek. he wrapped his arms around you as you melted in his embrace.
“actually, you don't even have to answer, satoru. you’ve loved me for almost 3 years. it's a no brainer.”
“you mean i put up with a mean girlfriend for 3 years?” satoru laughed boisterously. he let go of you and booped your nose playfully. his signature cheshire grin spread across his face.
you grabbed his hand to hold his palm against your cheek, teasing him, "since i'm so mean, will you put up with another 3 years of no good morning kisses?"
the white haired sorcerer continued to grin, "i'll think about it."
you rolled your eyes at how dramatic satoru could be and mumbled under your breath, "you know how i feel about morning breath."
"yeah, yeah." satoru mumbled back at you, "gimme a congratulatory graduation kiss then."
you wrapped your arm around satoru's shoulders and planted a firm kiss on his lips. satoru pulled away from you and smiled, amused with how the night was going.
"sweetheart, i'd put up with another lifetime of no good morning kisses if you asked me to. as long as i get to wake up next to you every morning." (read 'sleeping with the enemy' here)
you scoffed at satoru's cheesy comment before kissing him again to shut him up. you were ready to venture into the next step of your life with satoru by your side—no good morning kisses and all.
EXTRA:
“we’re gonna have to find a place to live in after graduation.” you said with apprehensive tone. not only did you and satoru have to find an apartment for the two of you, the apartment had to fit megumi, tsumiki, your spirit birds and the demon dogs too.
“it will be fine,” satoru reassured you, wrapping his arms around your waist.
you bit your lip, lost in thought. you wanted to make sure that the apartment you chose would be a safe haven for megumi and tsumiki. it had to be a home filled with love. ever since you and satoru took them in, you made sure that they grew up with everything they needed. whatever they wanted, you and satoru provided with no hesitation.
“you already know that the two pipsqueaks will be happy wherever we end up.” satoru said softly, “they just want to be with us.”
"you mean tsumiki just wants to be with us." you laughed, "megumi does not want to be next to you."
"i'll win him over, just you wait." satoru said confidently.
you knew deep down that megumi actually really admired satoru, but he would never admit that to his sensei's face.
"since we're on the topic of a place to live, we just need to make sure that our room is on the opposite side of the apartment from the kids' room."
you glared at satoru, knowing exactly where this conversation was going. he held his hands up in the air, feigning innocence.
#jjk x oc#jjk fluff#gojo x oc#gojo satoru x oc#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen gojo#satoru gojo#satoru gojo x oc#satoru gojo fluff#gojo satoru#gojo fanfic#gojo satoru fluff#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#jjk x you#gojo fluff#gojo imagines#satoru gojo imagines#jjk imagines#satoru gojo fanfic#gojo satoru fanfic#gojo satoru imagines
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From Eden to Sit at Your Door
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Kurt x Reader | 2.8k words
Summary: Kurt visits home, Munich, and decides to sit across from you. With your limited vision, it takes time for you to catch on to who this man really is. Not that you're given much time at all before your life is in danger.
Summary:
You take another sip, nearly emptying your cup. “I’m sure you’re a wildcard yourself.” You offer him your name, finishing your tea. “What brings you back to Munich?”
He begins to raise his hand, perhaps offering a handshake, before quickly pulling away. He clears his throat, “Kurt Wagner, and homesickness, really. It has been years since I’ve been home.”
You offer him a sweet smile. “Welcome home, Kurt.”
Alternate summary: Kurt is on a mission, accidentally causes hijinks, and catches feelings for the reader. Even more hijinks ensue.
A/N: this originally was going to be a bullet hc of a blind!reader x Kurt and now it's a multi-part fic lol. The reader will probably turn into an oc but the cringe cop has me in cuffs
This fic has been posted to my AO3 as well! Support me and find my other works there!
On an Autmn morning, you lounged at your local café, just mere blocks from your flat. The wind nipped at the tips of your ears, rustling stray hairs free. You remained warm, though, with your wool coat and cup of peppermint tea in your palms. The harsh difference of the chilling wind and familiar warmth was a part of this routine you cherished. Slowly raising the cup to your lips, a sip warmed you from the inside out.
The workers knew you, knew your name, your story. Practically blind from birth, you couldn’t recall a time when you didn’t have a thick dark vignette frame your vision. Your eyes were often compared to translucent glass marbles, commonly in distaste. Every now and then you were even accused of being a mutant. You always replied with a scoff, wondering if simple biology had been thrown out the window ever since the Mutant Panic in the 70’s.
Though, it piqued your interest in university. You began to dig to see if mutants were similar, or even no different, than those disabled. Unfortunately, the hoops to jump through to acquire a degree with accommodations surmounted and you had to drop out. Your classmate and friend, however, still often visited to read to you scientific papers, and assisted you in writing a thesis in their free time. For now, you resorted to being an author, as you needed to express your ideas with the world.
Which is why you people watched. Each morning you had your cup of tea and watched the quick blurs and bursts of color, sometimes squinting to really focus on a detail. You listened to their words, their stories. It was all ample ammo for your works. You had fallen so lost in concentration, you failed to notice the man sit down at your table. You took a few more sips, savoring the flavors melting over your tongue. There was a flick of a distinct blue, such an unnatural color, that caught your eye.
“Ah, excuse me.” His German was natural, native, and yet there were inklings of an American influence. “I hope you don’t mind me sitting here.”
You turned your body to face him, setting your cup down on the coaster. “No, not at all.” You softly smiled. “It’s not often I have company.”
While odd in nature to encroach a stranger’s space, it didn’t bother you. You figured all the other seats were taken; it was a busy morning after all. If he was not to disturb your peace, then you would pay it no mind.
You scanned him up and down. From what you could tell, he was wearing a coat with a hood, and something a deep rich blue beneath. Lots of blue. He must really enjoy the color. Gears began to turn in your head, perhaps he could be a fountain of inspiration.
“Your eyes,” He began softly, appearing to nibble on a pastry, “I don’t think I’ve seen a color like that before.” His voice was bursting with excitement and curiosity.
You sigh, biting the inside of your cheek. Here we go... You were prepared to recite the speech you’ve given your entire life but decide to keep it short and sweet. “It’s glaucoma, my eyes shouldn’t look like this.”
“Ah, I see.” Another bite. “I apologize, I have never heard of such a condition before.”
You glance down, tracing the lip of your teacup with your fingertip. “Are you American? I hear it in your voice, but your German is perfect.” You decide to change the subject.
He chuckles, “Have I really been gone that long?” He softly mumbles to himself. “No, no I am not. I’m native to here, Munich, but I have been living in the states for some time. New York.”
“New York?” You raise a brow. “That must be so exciting.” A smile pulls at your lips. “I’ve always wanted to see the city, is it as nice as they say?”
Another chuckle, heartier and from his chest this time. “It is far too glamorized. Very dirty, stinky.” He waves a hand. “But the people there… They are truly one of a kind.”
You take another sip, nearly emptying your cup. “I’m sure you’re a wildcard yourself.” You offer him your name, finishing your tea. “What brings you back to Munich?”
He begins to raise his hand, perhaps offering a handshake, before quickly pulling away. He clears his throat, “Kurt Wagner, and homesickness, really. It has been years since I’ve been home.”
You offer him a sweet smile. “Welcome home, Kurt.”
You hear his heart beat a little harder, faster. “Ah, thank you!” His cheeriness returns, and you surmise this is this natural state of being.
Now this man really has your attention. You curse yourself for not bringing your notebook. You just simply must engage him in more conversation. “I don’t mean to pry, but I’d love to hear about your time in America, where you plan to go and do while you’re here, back home. I hope it’s not too invasive.”
His tone tells on himself, making it clear he’s excited for someone to be interested in him. “Ah, well, in America I have found family.”
There’s a quick arch of blue that blurs behind his head. You blink. Did you just hallucinate?
“They truly are a gift from God.” He shakes his head. “You asked about my time in America, no? Not my family. Ahem.” He clears his throat and straightens himself in his seat. “I was rescued, in truth, I did not have the best life here in Munich. I used to be in the circus.” A smile slips across his lips as he reminisces. “They called me ‘The Great Nightcrawler.’” He spreads his hands out and open in front of him for added effect. “I was a trapeze artist, a great one.”
You hang onto every word, but bust out a giggle, “I assumed as much, with ‘Great’ being included in ‘The Great Nightcrawler’ and all.”
Kurt stumbles over himself, “Ah, yes- I suppose you are right.” He laughs in turn. “But I flew through the air with ease, to deafening applause.”
“Did you enjoy it? It sounds like you were beloved.” You muse.
“Aye, I did.” A beat passes, and his tone suddenly shifts somber. “Doing a performance, anyway. Any other time… It was not so great, the living conditions.”
Your lips form a tight frown. You won’t push himself to share what could be hurtful. The man links his hands together in front of him on the table. “A cage,” He begins. “I was kept in a cage, like an animal. Fed scraps, if anything. Force-fed beer after shows.” A broken, awkward laugh escapes his chest, “I would suddenly be a drunkard, not even knowing where in God’s Earth I was, then thrown into that harsh cold steel.”
You knit your eyebrows together, chewing the inside of your cheek more. A nervous, unhealthy habit you developed when the gears began to turn in your head. “How?” You squeak out. “How is that possible? How could they do that, isn’t it illegal?”
There’s a great, long pause. The shuffle of the pedestrians that wade by fill your ears. “I am a man of God, friend. I entrust in Him my life, my future. If He wished for me to… Endure that trial, then who am I to question Him.”
His answer left a sour taste in your mouth. He was dodging the issue at hand, you both knew that. You take a sharp inhale through your teeth, fidgeting with the hem of your one sleeve. It wasn’t uncommon to find someone faithful, and you had no gripes against Kurt for being so devout, but you just couldn't accept it being used as an excuse for flat-out abuse.
You open your mouth to press him without much thought, but luckily something else ensnares your attention. About twenty feet down the sidewalk, across the street, you hear the chatter of two policemen.
“There he is.” The one on the left gruffs.
“I see ‘im.” The other spits, “Bloody mutant.”
A mutant? Your heart leaps. Despite your infatuation with them, hungry to know more, you nearly never got to interact with one. You whip your head around, hoping that maybe despite your impaired vision, you could spot them in the crowd. Alas, the only strange figure is… The very man seated across from you.
Your heart now pounds in your ears, adrenaline searing through your veins. “Kurt,” You lower your voice, reaching out to grab his hand. “Please, just, trust me.”
“What?” He laughs, “Is there a joke coming? What is with the sudden seriousness, friend?” But as he sees your expression, his body tenses.
“Just walk with me. Do not look behind us.”
You rise from your seat, pushing it in beneath the table, slinging your bag over your shoulder. Still gripping his hand firmly, you begin to drag him down the street, blending in with the foot traffic.
“He’s starting to get away!” Your ears burn, hearing the police notice your failure to slip away.
It is only now your heart drops as you realize you have no idea what you are doing. Your guess about Kurt being the mutant is confirmed by the police’s reaction, but you didn’t think this far ahead. Where were you even going? What was the end goal? Walk to the end of the earth, hoping the police never catch up?
“Friend-“ Kurt begins, “What is the matter? What is going on?” His words slam into each other a tad, his breath hitching and increasing. He whips his head around, trying to see whatever had spooked you.
“The police,” You begin in a hiss, “They seem to be after you. I heard it.”
“Heard it?” He’s stunned. “Heard it where?”
You quickly yank him into a tight alleyway, a mere inch separates your chests as you face him. “Shh, watch. Across the street, they’re coming towards us. I’m sure they saw us dip in here.” You’re out of breath as your heart pounds against your ribcage. “I heard them talk about a mutant.”
It’s only now, being so up close and personal, do you truly see Kurt. It’s not that he likes the color blue, he is blue. His eyes are a dazzling gold. Two tiny points threaten to peek out from his lips, little fangs. Your eyes drift down, seeing a tail that ends in a pointed spade. You surmise that must have been the blur of blue from before.
“Y-You’re the mutant.” Your voice trembles, the adrenaline putting strain on your body. The realization of the pleasant fellow you spent your morning with being so… Different. You kick yourself for thinking that way, but it’s only result of the propaganda lining the streets. Your eyes are burning holes into him. You hear the blood rush to his face and ears, heart pounding.
You clutch your cane tighter, leaning into it. It’s not the best for you, as not only do you have Glaucoma, you happen to be blessed with the co-morbidity of Sickle Cell Anemia. Your joints are weaker than a healthy individual, and intense exercise, like running from the cops, is ill-advised. Your head swims as the tachycardia hits you like a tidal wave.
“Ah-“ Kurt raises his hands, hoping it eases your panic. “Aye, I am, but I am a friend. I won’t hurt you-“
Something whizzes by, grazing the bridge of your nose. Screams ring out in the street, pedestrians scrambling in every which way.
“Halt!” One of the officers bark, pointing some form of gun at the two of you. “You are being detained, mutant!”
The other steadily approaches, reaching for something hooked to his belt. Kurt’s eyes glance from the officers to you, and he closes the gap, wrapping his arms around you. “Take a breath, this may be disorienting.”
“Kurt, what-!“ You don’t get to finish, gasping as you feel yourself being hurled at a racing speed. It takes you by such surprise, you lose grip of your cane.
A plume of smoke clouds your vision as the smell of brimstone burns your nostrils. You cough, wobbling on your feet. You were dizzy before, but this was tilt-a-whirl level of topsy-turvy. You try to use your cane to steady yourself, but find that your weight is being supported by nothing at all.
You begin to head face first to what’s beneath you, but you’re caught by Kurt, his arm wrapping around your torso. “Careful there, friend.” He softly says, lifting you up. He refuses to release you until he’s certain you won’t go tumbling.
You blink. You were just in the alleyway, but now you’re peering down the city of Munich. The cops are just below you, and you see one officer ready his gun, aiming right for Kurt.
“Kurt!” You lunge toward him, the shingles of the roof unkind to being stepped on. It begins to slip away, sending you back down with gravity.
Another shot rings out. Kurt snatches you again, by your scruff, but he didn’t foresee the hit landing on you.
A curdling scream is ripped from your lungs, you feel the pierce of a needle in your side. In an instant, it feels cold, like liquid nitrogen being pumped in your veins. You look down, seeing a vial attached to the needle. Without much thought, you reach to grab it. Whatever it is, you want it out.
“No, don’t do that-“ Kurt firmly grasps your wrist. “I’m sorry, friend, but not until I know what they just dosed you with.”
“Dosed?” Your body not only feels frigid, as if you were tossed into a snow storm naked, it’s quickly increasing in mass. Your legs are growing limp.
“Aye.” His jaw locks, his gaze scanning down at the chaos below the two of you. “We must go.” He tosses you over his shoulder and whispers, “I am sorry.”
Another brief burst of frightening motion, another plume of smoke. It feels like being pitched like a baseball at record speeds. Your tea threatens to come back up from your stomach. You groan, rolling your head to the side. It’s strange seeing such familiar buildings from a birds-eye view, but you recognize you’ve moved a few blocks away in an instant.
You suffer a few more rounds of the sickening movement, before it finally ends. You’re in a cold, quiet bell tower. You’ve lost all sense of direction. You could be halfway across the globe for all you knew.
Kurt rests you against the wall, watching as your body slumps. “I am sorry, friend.” You try to move your head up, to hold his gaze, but you can’t. Your arms lay solid on the harsh stone.
Kurt crouches down, moving your coat away to inspect the projectile lodged in your side. “I am so sorry if this hurts. Please let me know.” His voice is so soft, as if he was speaking to a new born. It comforts you. He gently cups the tube in his hand, reading the inscription on the side. “Tch, American.” He spits.
He sighs, forcing a little smile for you. “Good news and bad news, friend.” He gently frees the needle out from you, ripping a pained gasp out of you. “It is just a tranquilizer, you will not die. It also happened to hit your liver, so it will flush out of your system quicker than usual. Bad news, you will be… Like this, for quite some time.”
You can’t even respond. You’re putting all your willpower into focusing on him, keeping your eyes open.
“But fret not, I will keep you safe!” He grins, slipping the tranquilizer into his pocket. “They do not call me the Great Nightcrawler for nothing.” He chuckles, but the worry lines on his face are crisp, even with your vision.
He glances over his shoulder. The chilly air only burns as wind whips across your features. You begin to shiver. When he looks back to you, he scrambles to slip off his coat, draping it on top of you. Underneath, he wears a tight black, red, and white uniform.
Silly, you think, your rational slipping, his circus outfit, here?
“Ah, I am so sorry.” He gently wipes a tear that you hadn’t registered. “You are safe, shh. Rest.” He pats your head.
You gain your senses for a moment, frustration boiling in you. You don’t, can’t, let yourself go. Not here, not now. You blink, again and again, fighting those heavy eyelids.
In astonishment, you watch as Kurt opens your satchel, rummaging around. He pulls out your wallet. Is he… Robbing you? How could he? You grumble in protest, but it falls on deaf ears. He places your wallet back in your bag, laying it gently in your lap.
“Rest easy, friend. I will return, I promise you.”
Smoke swirls in front of you, that now familiar burning smell hits you. The last thing you can recall is noticing a rosary, of all things, resting in your palm. The face of The Messiah watches you as you helplessly black out.
- - - -
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Find the fic here on AO3
Banners by @/cafekitsune
#my works#⚔️#kurt wagner#nightcrawler#x men evolution#xmen#x-men#kurt wagner x reader#nightcrawler x reader#gender neutral reader#fluff#angst#x reader#xmen x#reader#x-men x reader#xmen fanfic#x-men fanfic
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꩜ just’ alright alone

—before reading
⟡ warnings. slow ass slowburn (hope this reaches the right audience). reader has a name (not using y/n) mentions of past grief and family loss. mentions of past death. long ass chapters so bare with me. weird spacing (sorry for that). maybe internalized homophobia. (i’ll update this if i forgot to add more) ────
⟡ notes. in the game ellie is not talking to joel/ angry at him for 4 years until she's 19 and he dies. however in this story, because i like to bend stories to match my daydreams (!!) , she mends her relationship with him when she's about 17. also i picked an actual name for the oc because i've seen people not enjoying y/n in stories. the oc in this is 17, almost 18, and ellie has just turned 18. i haven't written anything in quite a bit, so i'm sorry if this isn't what u expected! i never proofread right away so i also apologize for that lol. otherwise please enjoy as much as you can and i'll try not to abandon this. i don't have too much of a plan for this. i picked a random name and found some meaning behind it lol, the back story sucks tbh i just want to get to the good parts so some of it is half assed://. also my first language isnt english so bare with me☹️☹️☹️
wc. 4,727 ────
⋮ ──── chapter one
gianna felt most at peace when she listened to the birds sing in the early morning. the mist collects on the vibrant grass around her. it felt empty in the cabin after last summer when her only parent left, her father, had finally met his end. she could still picture him sitting with her outside, counting how many birds they'd see and showing her how to make flower crowns. he radiated so much love towards gianna, and she felt that loved completely.
she'd felt the guilt of it for months on end. she missed the stories he'd tell of the world before the infected, the stories of her mom and how much her mom had loved her. gianna’s dad never went into detail of her death, only sharing that her mom saved them but died doing so and that she was already chronically ill. her dad always tried protecting her the best he could, training her only on basic defense fighting. she now hated that she hadn't pushed him harder on training her, they always assumed they'd be alive longer together.
the cabin she grew up in still held the nostalgic smell, but there had been more infected in the last year then they've seen since the beginning. living in the country had the perks of low infected traffic. they had running water due to the solar panels her father had gotten installed in the early 2000's before everything, she had successfully kept the garden, horses, and chickens alive during the winter time. she used to hate the quietness after her dad's death, feeling empty and lost almost everyday. although the lost feeling never went away she started loving the quiet. it was calm, easier to hear any problems, easier to cope with the anger she used to feel. she used to be able to sleep in, she used to be able to tell when a sound wasn't the infected and was just one of the animals outside, but ever since she was left alone it's harder to sleep.
she can only distract herself so much until her body gives into the sleep she was avoiding. it was getting harder for her to feel safe, even if rationally she knew the amount of infected that passed through was easy to take. still, with every infected near, the nostalgic smell would be replaced with death and a rotting smell.
ᯓ
today she fed the animals slow, watered the plants slow, showered slow, ate slow. just trying to fill the long day and avoid thinking about how good it would feel to sleep. she couldn't, the thought of waking up and seeing that the safe haven her parents had worked so hard for was in danger simply because she was selfish enough to sleep kept her up. it made her stomach twist at the thought. she wouldn't say the loneliness damaged her, she liked being by herself. maybe it's partly because she's only met a few outsiders that her dad had to scare off. that certainly didn't help her distrust in strangers.
it's been two days since gianna last slept. she finally started feeling her body fight her, and for once she gave in. she was exhausted from fixing the barb wire fence and cleaning the chicken coop and finally cleaning the solar panels. she even hung more strings with empty cans on them around the doors. she lied in bed, listening to the chirping crickets and the wind against the windows. glancing at the cans hanging across the bedroom door before sleeping.
gianna bolted awake when she heard cans clattering and bumping from the living room. she sat up quickly, reaching for the baseball bat beside her bed. her stomach twisted with the possibility that tonight would be her last night alive.
silently praying that it was an infected or a bird that found it's way in, she slowly and carefully stepped towards her bedroom door. she put her ear to the door, leaning away from the cans as much as she could. her chest brushed against a can, making a small clinking sound.
gianna held her breath, waiting for more noise from the living room. her stomach dropped when she heard a voice. she couldn't make out words, but she heard footsteps coming closer, stopping maybe a few feet away from her door. radio static and then the persons voice echo through gianna’s door. this time she made out a few words.
"i found.. coming back soon, it's starting to rain." there was a voice from the radio too but gianna couldn't hear any distinct words from it.
gianna’s breath picked up as the reality of her needing to defend herself against an actual person set in. her palms started to sweat. she then realized the sprinkling of rain starting against her window, every sound became 10x louder for her. she gripped her bat tighter, stepping back and putting her hand on her door to open it a little. just then her door swung open, knocking her arm back and making her stumble back. she quickly swung the bat back, aiming for the persons head, but missing due to the darkness.
"ow, shit!" she hit the persons upper arm, making them grunt and flinch into themselves before stepping back and holding the pistol towards gianna. they fixed their posture, and huff. gianna tried to not seem scared, but her arms were definitely shaky. "i don't want to hurt you! it's dark and raining, i just needed a place to wait until morning. i didn't realize someone was here." the woman says in a pleading tone.
"please get out.." gianna curses herself for the unsteady voice and the use of 'please’. she shouldn't have to be nice in this situation, but she panicked and said the first thing she could think of.
"i already said i'm not here to hurt you. i'll even give you some of my food if i can stay the night." gianna’s breath hasn't slowed down, her sweaty hands making it harder to grip the bat. she slowly glances next to the woman in the doorway, the light switch just a few inches away. gianna goes to slowly reach toward it, nervously watching the other. the woman stiffens, tightening her hold on her gun. gianna quickly flips the light on, going back to holding the bat with both hands.
the woman had light brown and reddish hair cut short and tied back, wide eyes, and a blood splatter on her neck. she was a few inches taller, and looked younger than her voice portrayed.
"you have guns." gianna eyes her pistol and the other gun strapped around the woman's back. the fear is building by the second for gianna, she's never had to be violent to an actual person and she's not sure she can actually follow through.
"you don't?" the woman sounded half genuine and half sarcastic, raising her eyebrows. gianna slowly shook her head, furrowing her eyebrows.
"i don't need one. leave now." her voiced wavered a little and she felt a lump in her throat. she feels stressed seeing how the woman looks unconvinced. she scoffs at gianna, giving a small chuckle.
"i didn't know baseball bats were more dangerous than guns." gianna’s heart skipped a beat, she knew she was so vulnerable and she hated it.
"i'll show you how dangerous if you don't leave." she wanted that to be true, but knew the bluff she was putting out was completely seen through by the woman. the woman smirks at gianna, tilting her head and looking around her room.
"you seem to live comfortably here." gianna’s heart felt like if it beat any quicker it'd pop out of her chest.
"i am and i'm just alright alone. i don't want you here. at all." she hoped the stranger took her seriously, even the tiniest bit. the woman looks back at gianna, squinting her eyes a little before relaxing them.
"you won't swing." she lowers her gun, stepping forward which makes gianna take a step back. she shakes her head and keeps distance in between them.
"please don't.." gianna felt her voice get higher, tears starting to fill her eyes. her one fear is coming true. she's let her parents down, she's broken everything they've done for her.
the woman narrows her eyes, then steps to the side. she looks around the room again, walking to look closer. she's turned her back on gianna, which could mean she's so confident in her fighting abilities that she knows she'd win, or it could mean she knows gianna wouldn't try anything. which sadly, she won't. she couldn't, too frozen in fear. she still had her bat up, staring at the lady inspecting her room.
"oh cool, i like pearl jam too.. do you have any records?" she throws a quick glance at gianna, then goes to touch a small switch blade on gianna’s dresser. tears finally start falling down her red cheeks.
"no.." she quietly yelps. the woman pulls her hand back and turns to her. she tilts her head.
"relax you don't have to cry about not having records. i just saw the poster." she shrugs and turns back, reaching out to the blade again.
"no i mean.." gianna wants to shrink into herself for speaking. the other looks over her shoulder. "don't take it, please.." gianna’s breath hitches as she starts feeling the lump in her throat travel up.
"no offense, but i don't want a poster i already have." she chuckles.
"the.. the knife, please. just leave." the woman stops moving, again turning to gianna. she hums.
"it's important to you?" she asks. gianna nods slowly, tears falling as she does. the other nods also, looking at the floor. her gaze travels up the wall beside gianna then focuses back on gianna.
"mine too." gianna could see the small smile the other offered, but nothing could calm the anxiety that was drowning her. her whole body was practically shaking now. the other saw, sighed, then put her hand in a pocket on her thigh. gianna brings the bat up more again, scared of the next weapon this lady is bringing out. the other dug hers out, crouching down and sliding it over to gianna.
gianna felt it tap her socked feet, but refused to look down at it. the woman sighed again, standing up.
"i'm seriously not going to hurt you. you can lower the damn bat and relax. i'm trying to be fucking nice." gianna was shocked at the language, only hearing her dad use it when he was extremely mad, which made her feel the other was angry about to get violent despite her words. her bottom lip trembled, only lowering the bat when the other gave her an annoyed look that could’ve meant she was close to losing it on gianna.
"there you go, relax man. i won't touch yours, but you can hold mine. i don't mind." the woman slid down the dresser to sit on the floor. gianna slowly followed, crouching but not sitting. she still held her bat next to her, leaning down and picking up the knife.
it had a wood base, the long blade flips out when she presses the button. she jumps a little, not expecting it to open so easy. her dad's was foldable, no button, and not as long as the one she's holding. the woman laughs lowly, watching gianna look in wonder.
"never seen one like that? i guess it is pretty nice." she looked smug, which made gianna roll her eyes. she slid it over to the other and stands back up.
"yes, pretty nice. now leave." she glares, feeling her tears dry on her cheeks.
"come on. i was serious about needing to just stay the night. i have a few apples and a few pieces of bread, we could share." gianna had only heard of those foods in her dad's stories, and she hated that she was a bit intrigued about trying it. she furrows her eyebrows, trying to remember the picture her dad had drawn of it years ago. the food they had at the cabin was only eggs, carrots, and beets. sometimes her dad would fish or if a chicken got sick they'd have that, but she doesn't know how to cook it and doesn't find interest in the hurting an animal part.
"i.. i don't have room for you." gianna tries to hold onto the little bit of persistence she had left in her tired head. the woman looks around, leaning to the side to see past gianna.
"oh look a chair, thats room enough." the woman smiles brightly up to gianna. the smug face is back, making gianna feel defeated knowing that this woman had more persistence than she'd ever have.
"i already ate earlier."
"you've never heard of midnight snacks or some shit?"
"i only have a few carrots left out, i haven't harvested yet." the woman nods quickly.
"i haven't had those in years! here." the woman reaches behind her to tug her bag off, pulling out an apple and almost rolling it to gianna.
"don't put it on the floor, it'll get dirty." she whispers almost, getting embarrassed by her complaining halfway through. the woman glances up and looks amused, quirking her eyebrow up.
"i don't think i've ever met such an uptight person, god. and would you please lower the fucking bat? my name's ellie, at least give me your name so i don't have to call you crying girl with the bat." gianna could tell it was ellie's attempt at lightening the stressful tension. she took a deep breath in and out, still not looking away from the other. she hesitantly puts the bat aimed all the way down in her hand.
"you can wash it in the sink, i'll show you." gianna steps back from the doorway, watching ellie get up and walk toward the door, backpack in hand. she holds the apple in one hand after holstering her pistol.
"i know what a sink looks like." she smiles. "but cool you have running water." gianna rolls her eyes at how cocky this lady's behavior has been.
"i meant where it is. are you always so smug in everything you do?" she scoffs. gianna follows behind ellie, who she saw smirk at her words.
"i found it earlier, breaking in and all. sorry about the window by the way." she gives a guilty smile over her shoulder. gianna’s face contorts in confusion.
"the window?" gianna looks around when they get in the living room, only feeling the cold breeze of the outside but no broken window. ellie nods toward the window on the back door in the connected kitchen. there was no glass in the lower panel close to the nod. she groans.
"are you serious? do you think i can just make glass here? i'll have to trim wood and nail it on." she groans in annoyance.
"again, didn't know you were here. i can fix it tomorrow, don't worry about it. so... your name?" ellie fully stops and turns to the other once they reach the sink. gianna looks into the others eyes, obvious curiosity filling ellie's eyes. gianna hesitates, not know if it was a good idea to blindly trust the first stranger she encounters. she can practically hear her dad screaming about the situation. ellie takes the time to actually look at gianna, her gaze falling and rising every time she looks at another detail on gianna.
"gianna.. i'm serious about you leaving tomorrow, i don't need you to bug me any more than you have." gianna takes the apple from ellie's hand and leans her bat against the floor and cabinets, leaning over the counter to wash the apple. she could feel the other's eyes burning holes into her, anxiety was still very much a problem right now. gianna’s hands shook as she rubbed the apple under the water.
"the apple won't bite." she hears a chuckle behind her. gianna turns the water off, turning and handing it to ellie with an annoyed glare. she grabs the bowl of carrots from the fridge, only four carrots sit in the bowl. gianna walks to over to the fireplace and puts the bowl on the ground, walking over to the blanket rack and pulling off two blankets. she turns to ellie, who is still watching her from the kitchen. she's holding the apple, rubbing one side with her thumb. gianna glances at the apple then to ellie's face.
"can you at least help me grab firewood? you let cold air in.." gianna only then realizes she's wearing fuzzy socks, a big tee shirt, and sweatpants. she crosses her arms in front of her to try and hide her chest, as she wasn't wearing a bra. ellie nods, walking over to gianna and stopping right in front of her, never looking away from her eyes. they share a silent moment before ellie bends down and sets the apple in the bowl with the carrots. she then nods at gianna again when she stands, following gianna as she walks to the back porch.
there was a stack of decent sized logs, gianna made ellie carry three inside as she also carried three. she turned on the electric fireplace, waiting for a well off fire to turn it off to save energy. just as gianna sits back ellie sits beside her maybe two feet apart. ellie taps her shoulder with the back of her hand, holding the apple out to gianna. she takes it, trying to not be obvious about being marveled by how round it was. she remembers her dad telling her some were sweet, others sour, but couldn't remember details.
"it's.. it's sweet?" gianna asks quietly, looking over to ellie. ellie laughs some, making it apparent she thought the other was joking. when she noticed gianna’s blank stare she smiled back and straightened her posture to lean over. gianna knew it wasn't needed, personal space seems to not be a common concept to the woman. she runs her finger over the skin and looks up at gianna, who's staring back expecting an answer.
"see how the skin is red?" there's more gentleness in ellie's voice. gianna nods back. "right, red means sweet. green is sour, and usually yellow is in between depending on the type. have you never had one?" she seems genuinely curious, less sarcastic than earlier. gianna shakes her head.
"never even seen one, nor bread. what does bread taste like?" ellie raises her eyebrows, obviously a bit shocked at gianna’s answer.
"okay well, just bite it, but don't eat too far in the middle. there's the apple core, it has seeds in it. and bread-" ellie leans over opposite of gianna to fish out a paper bag from her backpack, unfolding it and holding the bread out to gianna, "-hard to explain. no taste, sweet but not. usually people put butter or a jam on it." gianna eyes the slices, taking note of the bag that holds it as it looks like it's falling apart.
gianna hums back, lifting herself up and walking to a cabinet in the kitchen. she bends down and pulls out a plastic tupperware bowl with a lid. briskly walking back over to the warm fireplace, her arms getting goosebumps from the cold. she sits, putting the bowl in her lap and reaches over to grab the blankets she set aside. she hands the thicker one over to ellie, waiting for her to wrap it around herself to slowly reach over to ellie.
ellie's eyes widen, just staring at gianna. she tired to move slowly to not scare the other, seems she wasn't the only guarded one. gianna glances up at ellie then back to the bag of bread, gently picking it up from ellie's thigh. she opens the bowl, setting it inside and crumpling the paper. she puts the bowl in between them and pushes it to ellie.
"for you." gianna says.
“that was my good bag, gianna." ellie couldn't even act annoyed, honestly thankful for an actual container for food. "eat." she motions toward the apple, making gianna nod back.
she takes a small bite, trying to understand the new taste. her eyebrows pull together, not expecting a sweet liquid to cover her lips after the bite. ellie giggles at the face she made, taking a bite of her own after locking eyes. gianna takes a bigger bite, her mouth watering at the new food.
"good?" gianna nods, focusing her gaze back to the apple in her hands, turning it every way. ellie smiles a little wider.
"how is it so round?"
"it just is, i'm not sure there's an actual reason. i'm not that knowledgeable on apples. it grows on trees, starts as a flower." gianna makes another confused face.
"a tree? i haven't seen any of those around our land." ellie giggles.
"it's a certain type of tree, i doubt any would be here. bread?" ellie holds a slice out to her, gianna sets the apple in the carrot bowl and takes the bread. it was softer than she thought it would be, initially smashing it together where her fingers grabbed.
"oops." she mumbles, a bit embarrassed for being so naive to something that's normal for ellie. only earning a small smile back. she again takes a small bite, again shocked at how fragile the bread is. she nods, the taste is definitely different, but good nonetheless. "mm!" she rushes to pick up a carrot. shyly smiling to ellie.
"my food is a bit boring compared to this. sorry." ellie shakes her head, grabbed the carrot.
"i haven't had a carrot in a while, food is food. i'm thankful, gianna." gianna tries to ignore the giddy feeling rising in her chest, eating the apple after finishing the bread.
after eating in silence for a bit ellie speaks up, making gianna jump slightly.
"so.. gianna, huh? not exactly a name you hear everyday" ellie comments, taking another bite of a carrot.
it's not ellie's fault. it's no one's but gianna’s. she knows she should actually grieve, but it was easier for her to push feelings down. for some reason being in front of a stranger has heightened her emotions, in general, but being this vulnerable in front of ellie has her anxiety coming back. suddenly her throat was tight and her breath was more raggedy. she clears her throat, opting for staring at the ground, avoiding ellie's eyes that are trained on her.
"um.. my dad picked it. he wanted to name me giuliana, after my mom, to like, keep her memory alive or something like that, but she didn’t let him. didnt want me growing up in a shadow of someone i’d never even remember” gianna’s eyes remained on the floor, feeling a wave of self-consciousness due to her basically spilling too much to a stranger she just met.
“to keep her memory alive?” ellie repeats quietly while tilting her head slightly to the side, not getting it at first, indirectly demanding an explanation.
gianna hums, eyes still focused on the floor. “yeah. she was already sick when i was born. dad says chronically ill. she knew she wasn’t gonna make it” gianna fumbles her thumbs, pursing her lips in thought. “so they compromised. gianna. close, but not the same.”
ellie hums in acknowledgement "gianna’s a good name" ellie smiles, then awkwardly clearing her throat, her eyes wandering to a painting that showed the back of a figure that had blonde hair. “that her?” she asked, trying to sound as gentle as possible, referring to gianna’s mom.
“hm? oh yeah, that was her..” ellie smiles, sensing the gloom gianna had while glancing over the painting. gianna perks up, turning to look at ellie.
"my dad actually painted that picture of her for me. do you want to take a closer look?” gianna waits for ellie to nod, she then walks towards where it was and carefully takes it off the wall, ellie’s gaze is focused on gianna’s back, then her gaze lowers even more, ellie curses something under her breath before lowering her gaze towards the floor, feeling ashamed of herself. gianna comes back, smiling softly down at the painting as she walks back over to the other. she flips it for ellie to see, the bright colors from the background jumping from the canvas.
"oh, wow. that's beautiful. he has a gift, painting isn't as easy as it looks." ellie chuckles, still examining the painting, wondering why didn’t gianna’s dad painted her daughter a full portrait of her mom, not just the back. she hears gianna mumble an 'i know', fondly looking down at the painting still.
"he did have a gift. i, sadly, didn't get those abilities." gianna chuckles, but ellie caught the pained expression. she decided to let the other feel that emotion for a minute before standing. she tried her best to not give gianna any expression of pity, but she's sure she didn't hide it too well.
"how about we sleep, it's late. i feel bad waking you and making you scared earlier." ellie says quietly. gianna nods back, setting the painting down and propping it up against the wall. she walks near ellie, bending down to pick up the empty bowls. ellie grabs her arm before gianna actually reaches the bowls and nudges her up.
"i'll get it in the morning, go to sleep, gianna." they stare into each others eyes, gianna felt so nervous thinking about sleeping while a random person is in her house, but she could feel the sleepiness come back over her. she nods slowly. "does your door have a lock? you seem nervous having me inside all night, how can i help?" gianna shakes her head. ellie looks at the ceiling in thought.
"what if- fuck.. i." ellie mumbles a bit, trying to find a solution. she looks hesitant to speak, but decided that she was willing to trust gianna through the night. "ok, what if i give you my guns and my other switchblade? just for the night and you can barricade the door tonight, i need my one switchblade though. at least something for any danger." ellie runs a hand through her bangs, obviously uncomfortable with the idea, but wanting to have gianna see how grateful she is for letting her stay the night. gianna looks slightly confused.
"only the guns." gianna says, making ellie sigh.
"do you even know how to work one?" gianna shakes her head but goes to defend herself when ellie laughs.
"no, but my dad had one! i just.. was never taught. i have amazing hiding places though." gianna smiles. ellie whips out her pistol, not thinking of how harsh the action may look as she's so desensitized to it. gianna steps back at the action, widened eyes focused on it with fear.
"oh shit sorry, i'm not.. just here, fuck." it's very obvious now to gianna that ellie is feeling unsafe giving up her guns. she holds out the pistol, putting onto gianna’s stretched out flat hands. gianna’s arms falter some, the gun heavier than she imagined. "jesus, ok. i'm putting the big one on your bed, i don't trust shaky, weak hands." ellie mumbles. following gianna into her room and carefully setting the gun down after unstrapping it from her back.
gianna ended up giving ellie three blankets and a pillow.
"can you um.. can you let me know if you get too cold?" gianna asks, avoiding eye contact. ellie nods back setting the blankets in the chair. waiting for the other to leave. gianna awkwardly nodded, making her way to her room.
she hides the guns in the top of her closet, using a step stool, and covered them with clothes. she looks over at the door, going to fasten the cans across the doorway. she thinks of fully barricading it, and maybe she should’ve. all she does is move her small desk in front of the door, half scared ellie would need help and it'd take too long for her to reach ellie. she huddled into herself trying to warm up some, the pile of blankets hardly warming her fast enough.
she hears ellie put out the fire, mentally thanking her.
hope you guys are liking this so far, if anyone wants to be tagged on my tag list please tell me :) !!!!!!!
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