#what if reader and matt get married and Mig runs down the aisle like that in A Different World episode

[bluesidez]

MY BEE HAS DONE IT ONCE AGAIN.

WE’RE SO BACK!!!

dear reader - chapter 9

summary: Miguel took the reader’s love and friendship for granted. Something he learns reading her column, when it’s too late…Or is it?

ship: miguel o'hara x f!reader // matt murdock x reader

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Chapter 9

It was a Saturday night and, to everyone’s surprise, including his own, Miguel O’Hara was at home. And alone. He couldn’t even remember the last time it happened. There always was a party, a bar somewhere, a date. And you. The closest he had to quiet Saturday nights in the past few years were your movie nights. 

You’d organize the whole thing perfectly: there was a theme for the night and the movies and snacks had to follow it accordingly. Sylvester Stallone night? Get ready to watch as many Rocky movies as you can. Molly Ringwald night? Get the tissues, you’ll pretend not to cry during Pretty in Pink and Miguel will do the same with The Breakfast Club. 

It was mostly just the two of you at his place, laying on his couch — a very comfortable one, since Miguel actually took your opinion into consideration when buying it —, talking during the movies, eventually trying your best to not let the other fall asleep. 

As he scrolled through Netflix trying to choose something to watch, Miguel thought about how much he missed those impromptu movie nights. He used to pretend to be annoyed by you quoting the lines or telling him gossip about the actors on screen, but he actually loved it. That was when you were the most comfortable, just being your most authentic self. 

Miguel hadn’t stopped to examine those memories so far. He just assumed it would always be there. That you would always be there. 

That was kind of stupid of him to think. Of course at some point you’d meet someone and your priorities would change. There were a few times in the past when he wondered why you weren’t going out and having dates. He just assumed you were picky — as you should be. But now he knows the truth.

That made him revisit the past. What your movie nights would’ve been like if Miguel knew you were in love with him? He wasn’t sure of how he would react to that without you leaving for a month and him finding out about your column. 

Your writing was another thing Miguel had never given much thought. He knew you did it for work, but didn’t care to ask about or look into. Out of everything, that was one of his biggest regrets. When he started reading your column, he realized how much writing was a part of your identity — and if he didn’t know that, did he know you at all? 

Miguel was so captivated by your work that he read all of your columns in one night, coming back to one or another every now and then. It was fascinating learning about this other side of you, the way you were bold, funny and kind, even when facing sadness. His heart was full of regret, but also some longing. Now that he knew all of that new information about you, he was curious to learn more. From you though. As much as Miguel loved the column, there was something in him that was burning his desire to hang out with you again, pay close attention to everything you say or do. It wasn’t like he was in love with you. At least, that’s what he told himself. He was just…curious.

There wasn’t an easy way to do that, though. Things were sort of weird between the two of you. After the night of the blackout, that ended with you leaving his place to meet Matt, you didn’t really talk. Unlike other times, you didn’t break the ice and restarted the communication with him. That was what he was used to. It had been a couple of weeks and you hadn’t contacted him at all.

Neither had Miguel. He kept checking his phone, waiting for a text, but didn’t take any action. Lyla wouldn’t stop telling him he should be the one to go after you, but he always found something else to do: more work, more meetings, more time at the gym, even though it was clear there was something else on his mind. 

It didn’t sit well with him the thought of you spending your Saturday night with Matt. Miguel didn’t know the guy, just enough to know he was perfect boyfriend material — Pav’s words, not his. Apparently, the man did everything: saved the poor and the innocent with his practice, was fit and very good at boxing, he was smooth as fuck (Hobie’s words) and, on top of it all, Matt Murdock was blind. How does one compete with that? 

Not that Miguel wants to compete or anything. Once again, he was just…curious. His words.

There was nothing to watch on Netflix. He searched for his guilty pleasure, instead:

Dear reader,

Please tell me if I’m crazy or not, but whenever I get to experience good things, I can’t relax. Do you ever feel this way? It’s like something bad is waiting for me right around the corner and I must be ready to handle it. I guess I’m just so used to handling tough situations, I don’t really know how to just live and enjoy the good ones. 

Being human is wild. You might spend your entire life looking for something and, when you finally find it, it isn’t what you thought or correspond to the expectations you created around it. 

I remember watching this video of a talk Tavi Gevinson from Rookie gave at an australian university. She became famous at 13 for sharing her several irreverent looks on her blog. That made her be noticed by the fashion industry and, not long after, she was sitting in the front row at incredible fashion runaways. It was something Tavi, like so many girls, dreamed of. Except, actually being at those places wasn’t as fun as she thought. She said she had more fun looking through fashion magazines in her childhood bedroom. 

That leads me to the question: is what you want the most what you actually need?

There are no wrong answers. I have no idea of what my answer would be. One can feel so many things all at once. It can be hard to act according to reason depending on the circumstances.

Take Love is Blind, for instance. Those people are confined with a bunch of strangers, competing for the same matches, without any access to the outside world. I have the feeling just taking their phones away would already make them spiral, so imagine all these restrictions at the same time. Plus all the alcohol the producers probably give them. It’s vulnerable and isolating, so no wonder the participants are telling how much they love each other on the first “date”.

Nine out of ten times, watching the couples leaving that bubble together to face real life is brutal. Nothing is what it seems. Nor are people. That you wanted the most, might not be the right fit for you. 

Yes, I know it’s just a reality show, but what does one do after realizing all that? Asking for a friend. 

Really, I’d love to know your opinions. Please write back telling me what you think.

Talk to you soon. Until then, never take advice from someone who’s falling apart.

Love, 

The writer

***

Matt Murdock was perfect. Sweet, kind and extremely hot type of perfect. He loved his neighborhood and, in turn, was loved by his neighbors. Not to mention his law firm was always on the news, bringing down the powerful to give justice to the little guy. 

All of that to say, Matt Murdock was a busy guy.

The two of you had been planning another fancy date for a few weeks. Things had been even crazier lately: the blackout caused all sorts of problems across the city, creating a high demand for lawyers. Which meant Matt had been working non stop.

His commitment with the law and making sure that people wouldn’t be taken advantage of was something you really admired about him. He cared for his clients and wanted the best for the city. So, whenever you were out with him, you had to make sure you were “on”.

On Saturday night, you and Matt had plans to order take out and listen to some podcasts — the two of you loved binging true crime ones. But it was 10pm, two hours later than the time he was supposed to be at your place. You had spent the day cleaning it, washing the sheets and towels with the type of detergent you saw at his place, since Matt was really sensitive about textures and smells, and taking care of yourself, scrubbing your body, doing a nice face mask, the whole deal.

In his defense, Matt did call you a little after 8pm letting you know he would be late. He was also very apologetic about it, which you appreciated. You tried your best not to be irritated, which made you feel guilty, as if you were a monster for wanting a little more from Matt when other people needed him. It wasn’t like you were his girlfriend or anything. That topic has never come up.

You hadn’t heard from him since, but also didn’t want to be that girl who keeps calling him when she knows he’s busy. And God, you were starving. You did eat a few chips while you waited, just enough to calm your stomach without making you lose your appetite. That had been about an hour ago.

Your phone started ringing. 

“Hey, sweetheart”, said Matt.

“Hi, Matt”, you try to use your calmest, most comprehensive voice. “How are you holding up?”

“There is still so much to do”, he sighs. “I don’t think I’ll be able to make it to your place. I’m so sorry.”

You felt like you were about to cry.

“That’s okay, Matty, I understand.”

“I was thinking that maybe you could meet me here at the office…There is a 24 hour chinese restaurant down the street, we could have dinner there and I’ll come back to work after. How does that sound?”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to interrupt your work.”

“You won’t be interrupting anything. I need a break and I miss you, it works out perfectly”, he said, with some pep in his voice.

You melted a little. Matt Murdock had the power to disarm you just like that.

“Okay, I’ll call a cab and meet you there soon.”

“Can’t wait, sweetheart.”

***

Dinner with Matt was nice and quick. Soon enough you were in another cab, this time going home. 

You had a good time. It’s always good when Matt is around, you are able to focus on spending quality time with him instead of doubting yourself and creating crazy theories in your head. Distance, in your case, didn’t make the heart grow fonder, just more insecure. And you hated it.

You hated feeling like that. Back when you were crying over Miguel, you thought that experiencing reciprocal love would fix everything. Clearly, you were wrong. Apparently this shit was going to follow you for the rest of your life. Great. 

When you got home, you took your shoes and earrings off, then threw yourself on the couch. You closed your eyes and sighed, your body relaxing with all the comfort you surround yourself with. That’s how you envisioned that night: you, Matt and lots of cuddles. 

Before you start to feel about yourself once more, your phone vibrated. 

gweny 👻: this is past me asking you to tell future me all about your date!!!

you: I’m already back at home. he had a lot of work to do 🙁

gweny 👻: i thought you were staying in

gweny 👻: so sorry, love, are you ok though?

you: I’m fine

gweny 👻: which means youre not 👀

you: 🙄

gweny 👻: wanna talk about it?

you: not really

you: how about you? how is your night going?

gweny 👻: came to a concert with pav and hobie

gweny 👻: hobie swore by this new band

you: I’m guessing they sucked

gweny 👻: it was just loud noises and the vocalist screaming

gweny 👻: not even in a heavy metal type of way, it was just bad

gweny 👻: but of course no one is saying shit, one of the guys is the son of the owner of this shithole

you: not fucking nepotism

gweny 👻: i hate it here

you: is there anyone cute at least?

Gwen didn’t answer, which means there was someone worth her time. She was so good at meeting new people, showing herself to them. So brave. Or rather, fearless. It was fascinating watching her going through life. 

You made a mental note to make dinner plans with Gwen the next week.

Getting up from the couch to bed, you were cold and all you really wanted was to roll into the blanket as if you were a burrito, only your head catching outside air. 

Once the lights were all out and you got into position, you grabbed your phone one last time to check if Gwen had sent you any more messages. 

Nothing from her. You scroll through your texts and then open the spam tab, which you always ignored. There was one unread message on the top. It was from Miguel, sent just an hour ago. 

Why was he texting you on a Saturday night? Didn’t he have a date or some woman’s life to ruin?

Curiosity gets the best of you and that leads you to unblock his number. His text then went to your inbox.

migs 😡: just wanted to let u know that I watched that movie u like so much

migs 😡: the one with the redhead that time travels inside a closet

migs 😡: gotta say I really tried to give it a chance, cariño

migs 😡: but the science didn’t check out

migs 😡: you know how much I hate when it happens

You let out a laugh under the covers. It was like you could hear his voice complaining about how the movie wasn’t realistic. Miguel was a man of science, it really bothered him not being able to understand how things happened. It drove you crazy for years, until you decided to only watch the so-called “realistic” films when you were with him.

It was impossible not to feel a little boost of energy going through your body. It didn’t know you were getting over him, so it just reacted as it would before. The smile on your face, though, would be a bit harder to explain. 

migs 😡: please send another rec

migs 😡: need to clean my palate

Annoying stubborn man. You were not responding. 

But, maybe you could troll him, that would be fun. That would distract you from the fact it’s a saturday night and Miguel is watching a movie you talked about God knows when. Or texting you when he could be texting anyone. 

You needed to chill. Those messages don’t change anything.

you: in the heights

There were so many reasons he would hate it: first, it was a musical, which he despises, second, it had scenes that defied science, like a couple walking on a building’s wall, and third, he hated Lin Manuel Miranda. Whenever you asked him why, Miguel would just mumble words in spanish. You think once you heard him saying something like “he’s fucking everywhere”, but you weren’t sure. 

migs 😡: so she talks

migs 😡: and she unblocked me 

migs 😡: gracias

you: you keep complaining about my favorite movies and I’ll block you again really quickly

migs 😡: why so mad cariño

migs 😡: I come in piece

migs 😡: peace***

you: not mad just cautious

migs 😡: why cautious 

you: cuz you’re texting me late at night and you’ve never done that before

migs 😡: I prefer texting during business hours

you: oh pls

migs 😡: you go to bed earlier than my grandma

you: obviously not since I’m talking to you rn

migs 😡: but I bet an empanada u r fighting against sleep

You were. You really were.

you: you know nothing

you: answer me

migs 😡: what mi cariño

you: dont mi cariño me

migs 😡: so salty

you: 🙄

you: answer me pendejo

migs 😡: what

migs 😡: I forgot the question

migs 😡: fr

you: why are you texting me 

you: at this ungodly hour

The three dots on screen showed Miguel was typing. Whatever it was, he kept typing, stopping and then going back, as if he was writing and then deleting his text. It made you a little nervous, knowing he was taking so long just to answer your question.

After a couple minutes, you can’t handle your anxiety anymore and got up from bed. In the bathroom, you took your sweet time brushing your teeth and flossing. Next, you went to the kitchen and grabbed yourself a glass of water and stared at the city view at the window. 

You told yourself that you’re not going to let Miguel O’Hara confuse you or your feelings. He was probably just feeling lonely and you were his last resource, the person that would be available to him, even after weeks of silence. Maybe a sign saying STUPID is hanging from your neck, because you fell right into it. 

It’s also kind of cruel on his part. Almost like he knows you’re happy with Matt and your attention is on him and not Miguel. And Miguel can be very territorial and charming. Once he has your attention, he will get bored and move on with his life. You’ve seen it happen too many times. 

No, you couldn’t feel excited or nervous about talking to him. Hope was what destroyed you last time. And you couldn’t repeat your mistakes. You owned it to yourself.

You wait a few minutes before going back to the room. You sat on the bed, took a deep breath and checked your phone for new texts. One from Miguel. 

migs 😡: because i miss u

Oh, well, you were fucked.

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@miss-canon-event @mattsgirlsworld @the-witheredroses

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Dear readers,

It's been a while, but I'm still here. These past months I've been working on my post grad thesis, which left very little headspace for any additional writing. Now that it's done, I won't disappear for too long, promise!

I missed writing these two. How do you feel about the character development in this chapter? Please tell me in the comments.

Thank you so much for the love you've showed this story 🩷 I really appreciate it.

Read my other fics:

💌 a very good idea (Miguel O'Hara x reader)

💌Santi's journal (Santiago Garcia x reader)

💌 now that we don't talk (Poe Dameron x reader)

💌 Listen to the 'dear reader' playlist — new songs added for each chapter.

💌 I'm also on ao3

Take care of yourselves!

Love, The writer