#what if i wanna see two hot anime clowns get nasty with each other

[bunnybea33]

today i am celebrating national clown day and in the midst of my celebration i realized that no one makes clown yaoi

why does no one ever make clown yaoi?

there’s vampire yaoi, warewolf yaoi, mermaid yaoi, demon yaoi, angel yaoi WHY NO CLOWNS?

please yaoi gods if you can hear me please grant me my one and only prayer and send me some clown yaoi

[aceopmari]

Could you please do a headcanons on how the akatsuki would act toward someone with an Australian accent bc I’m Aussie and I just wanna know how they’d act if they met an Australian 😭

A/N: I had no idea I had Aussie queens reading my fics! How cool! And you’ve got it! I took the time to research the terms, the slang, and culture. Hope I got it accurate enough! 

Akatsuki Masterlist

Taglist: @ppg-artss @lovelygeniegirl1012 @mercymccann @kakeisumire @aoi-ajisai @mechmoucha @barbellina @nightingaleflow @bonchin @awhore4uchiha @havrlie

The Akatsuki w/an Australian Teammate

A/N: Brought to you by, Lagoona Blue! Don’t you just love Aussie characters?

The Akatsuki would be getting a new member from The Village Hidden Down Under.

Thing is, they hardly knew anything about the mysterious village. Not even Itachi.

The Akatsuki watched as you walked in the room. The first thing they noticed was your village headband that had a upside down boomerang symbol on it. You wore it loosely on your hips.

You were attractive, clad in very light clothing (that looked more suited for a day on the beach) as well as a bright and sunny smile that could bring the dead back to life.

“G’day mates!” You greet.

Deidara:

💥If your partnered with him. He would have mixed feelings about you. That accent of yours was a bit off putting and he didn’t quite get your slang.

💥”Deidra, you doing okay, love?” You asked. An irritated tick mark appeared on his head as he blushed. “For the last time, it’s Deidara! And don’t call me your love, hm!” He growled. You looked at him in confusion. “That’s what I said, mate. Your name is Deidra.” Deidara nearly lost it. “Grrr! Stop calling me mate, hm!”

💥On the other hand, he enjoyed your company. You were friendly and warm. You also appreciated his art.

💥The two of you flew on his clay bird through the air that day. You laughed as you through your hands to the sky.

💥”Crikey! You Akatsuki blokes sure know how to keep things exciting!” You say happily. Deidara smirked. “It’s nice to know someone appreciates my art, hm.” You gave him a sweet smile. “Think you can make a koala, mate?”

💥Deidara spent the afternoon with you on the forest. He made clay sculptures of animals he never made before: a koala, a kangaroo, and a few others.

💥A tear fell from your eye at the sight. You didn’t realize it before but seeing the native animals from your village was making you feel homesick.

💥”Is there something wrong, Y/N?” Deidara asked. He was surprised when you pulled him into a hug. “It’s nothing mate…thank you Deidra. These are a beauty!” You say as more tears spill from your eyes. Deidara blushed. He smiled as he found himself hugging you back.

💥”You’re welcome, you shelia, hm.”

Hidan:

🩸Hidan was an odd bloke. He was clowning you from the start when he heard your accent and slang.

🩸”The fucks a Barbie?”

🩸”I ain’t your fucking mate, bitch!”

🩸”Quit stuffing your fat ass with that vegemite shit!”

🩸Your patience wore thin with his disrespect. You put your foot down. “I’ve had it putting up with a nasty drongo like you!”

🩸You slapped Hidan across the face, surprising you both. Hidan lips then curve into a grin. “Hot damn! Do it again, babe!”

🩸You stared at him incredulously. ‘Crikey! This Hidden Steamy bloke is off his knocker!’

🩸Hidan was…’friendly’ with you after that. Often hitting on you and calling you his ‘mate’ and ‘love’ for kicks.

🩸”What do ya say we get to know each other a bit further, Shelly?” He purrs as he wraps an arm around your waist. You elbow him hard in the gut, causing him to wheeze as he lets go. “The proper term is Shelia. And I’m not getting nuddy with a root rat like you!” You snapped.

🩸You eventually warmed up to him more. Hidan appreciated your open mindedness when he explained Jashinism to you. He gave you a physical demonstration of his ritual when he stabbed himself through the chest.

🩸”Ripper! That’s a gnarly jutsu you got going on, love!” You say with an excited smile. Hidan smirked at you as blood dripped down his lip. “You’re my kinda girl, you know that?”

🩸And you definitely were. With a shit eating smile, Hidan watched you wrestle a large crocodile in the water. You used a nearby snake to wrap it around its neck. “Hot damn! This bitch is wild!” He laughed.

🩸Hidan stopped everything when he saw you leave the base one day wearing a pair of daisy dukes, a crop top, and flip flops.

🩸”Well helloooo! Where you off to babe?” He grins as he scans your figure. You turned to him. “Oh, hello mate. I’m off to go buy some thongs. Want to come with?”

🩸Hidan’s pink eyes lit up. His cheeks flushed as a perverted grin spreads on his face. He imagined you in a sexy thong that hugged that perfect ass. He had to see you in one. “Fuck yes!”

🩸Hidan sat outside in front of your door at the fitting room. He could feel his little scythe twitching in his pants in excitement.

🩸”I still don’t see why I need to get in a fitting room to put on these thongs,” you say in confusion. Hidan snickered. “Trust me, babe it’ll be so worth it to see em on you.”

🩸You giggled. “You’re a strange little bloke aren’t you? I had no idea you were into this sort of thing.” Hidan chuckled. “I’m into a lot of things…”

🩸Hidan licked his lips in anticipation as he heard your door unlock. You opened the door and stepped out…fully clothed…

🩸Hidan stared at you in confusion as you walked towards him. “What the fuck? Where’s the th-?” You placed your foot on the seat next to him, presenting the designer flip flops you had on. You giggled. “Here you freak. Is this everything you wanted to see?”

🩸Hidan just stared at your foot incredulously. That was when he realized your culture and slangs. ‘Thongs’ in your village meant flip flops…not sexy underwear…

Kisame:

🦈 Kisame didn’t think much of you. What was some little girl doing in the Akatsuki anyway?

🦈He often picked on you and put you on the spot, but every time you stood your ground.

🦈”You sure you want to do this little girl? I wouldn’t want that pretty face to get hurt on a mission,” Kisame teased. You rolled your eyes. “Oh, don’t get your boardies in a twist, you dingo!”

🦈Kisame erupted with laughter. You were one interesting girl. Maybe being partners with you wouldn’t be so bad.

🦈 Kisame watched you train one day. He was impressed seeing you use water release to summon crocodiles.

🦈”That’s quite the jutsu!” He says to you. You give him a charming smile. “You like, mate? This here’s my Kekay Genkhi!” Kisame snickered. He had to resist the urge to tease you for your accent with how you said certain words.

🦈”What do you say to a little challenge?” Kisame smirked. You smirked back, catching onto his idea. “You’re on mate! My crocs against your sharks! May the best True Blue win!”

🦈Kisame fell for you the more he spent time with you. You were wild, fun, and free spirited.

🦈He was interested in learning more about your culture. You introduced him to shrimp on a barbie and vegemite.

🦈Samehada adored you. The sword let you pet it. Kisame liked how you treated his sword like a pet. You seemed great with animals.

🦈At night, you and Kisame went out for midnight swims. You both would playfully wrestle and splash each other in the water.

🦈Kisame would love for you to skinny dip with him. But first he had to find the courage to confess his feelings towards you.

Itachi:

🐦Itachi thought you were rather interesting if not a little eccentric than the average shinobi. Your accent was rather unique (not that he would admit it out loud).

🐦Your slang was rather strange too, but he was always able to interpret and translate your meanings on his own.

🐦Your words, mannerisms, and enthusiasm were amusing. Itachi was curious to learn more about your village and it’s cultures.

🐦He found it odd that you threw boomerangs in battle as opposed to shuriken. Surprisingly worked well as you were always able to knock out your opponent.

🐦You loved the wildlife, that was for sure. Itachi thought it was odd seeing a shinobi swinging on vines in the forest as opposed to simple tree jumping. Were all ninja from Aussiegakure like this?

🐦You were very interested in learning more about the Sharingan.

🐦”Oh, c’mon love. Just one peek?” You asked. “No…” Itachi said cooly as he turned his gaze away from you so that you wouldn’t look in his eyes. He couldn’t help but feel a warm shiver go down his spine when you called him ‘love’.

🐦You heard of Itachi and the things he’s done. You couldn’t help but be curious.

🐦”Itachay, why’d you kill off all your mates?” You asked him one day. Itachi stayed silent. He didn’t even question how the way you said his name sounded funny to him. You decided to let it go.

🐦”I‘ll respect and understand if you don’t want to talk. None of my bizzo,” you say. Itachi remained silent. He was at least very appreciative of you respecting his boundaries. You’d be a good partner for him in the Akatsuki.

Other Members:

🎭Sasori had mixed feelings about you. On one hand you were a competent partner. On the other hand you were annoying. He couldn’t understand some of the things you said. You actually made a bad first impression when you met him.

🎭”What’s an ankle biting bluey like yourself doing in the Akatsuki?” You say with a teasing smile. Sasori was able to interpret that ankle biter meant a child in which he quickly corrected you that he wasn’t. But what was a bluey? Why did you keep calling him that?

🎭You both eventually warm up and bond over your hatred for Orochimaru who you once met when he invaded your village with a bunch of snakes. You enlightened Sasori with the tale of how you fought him off. Snakes were native to your village so you easily drove Orochimaru away.

💵Kakuzu found your optimism and lively attitude to be infectiously disgusting.

💵You were put off by his greed. You always expressed how some of the money he earned should go towards protecting the wildlife such as koalas.

😆Tobi liked you and wanted you to teach him surfing.

📃Konan liked having a woman around but you were rather strange. Why did u keep calling her Shelia?

👋Pain also thought you were a rather strange woman. Especially considering how you were so intrigued by his gnarly looking piercings.

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh....MUSICAL

as soon as i saw that a hunter x hunter musical from the year 2002 starring the OG 99 VAs existed, i knew i has to see this...so i set out and watched the nightmare of zoldyck (i would later find out that theres ANOTHER musical, which i plan to watch too)

luckily its all on youtube subbed! in 360 quality...oh hell yes lmao

ok i logically knew this was gonna be a musical but seeing the characters singing is like. a lot. THIS IS SO STRANGE 

musical illumi is played by a woman which is interesting. shes got a good voice 

i think they just panned to killua but it was so pixelated that i legitimately could not tell hvbadjkfbjkdsf

i have no idea whats going on vhbajdfhhajsdf theres a bunch of people falling over on stage...i think theyre dying? who are yall 

oh shit backup dancers?

lmao illumi killed the backup dancers rip.

oh that IS killua lol. s/o to the 3 pixels that are visible 

is this gonna be the zoldyck arc but a musical? lmao

OH WAIT IS THAT KURAPIKA AND LEORIO? i cant even tell lmaoooo

i can 100% tell these are fan subs lmaooo i love bad fan subs SO MUCH it makes a viewing experience even better

this is p much just a musical version of the manga/anime so far lmao i love it 

the way theyre spelling zoldyck is. a lot 

is every character gonna get an intro song. how much of this musical is singing and how much of it is dialogue cause theres defs a range w/musicals 

lmao i love gon leorio and kurapikas interactions even here, they rlly feel like two parents being dragged around by their energetic kid 

i cant even see the set at all so im just gonna assume theres like, the gate and all that behind them, but it all just looks like a dark wall to me lmao

i love singing exposition 

HISOKAS IN THIS???????????????????? oh my lorddddd 

OH i see now in the description that hes played by the 99 VA too lmao i love it 

wow musical hisoka rlly b like [writes himself into the zoldyck family arc]

oh here we go w/the song introducing the zoldycks 

damn grandpa got mad flips 

this is. wild 

its especially wild that alluka isnt here bc she like...didnt even exist yet at this point in the story 

zoldyck family sitcom wow 

i see the gon/killua romance is still going strong in the musical 

oh so they did all the training and goin thru the door stuff offscreen lol

this is actually doing a pretty good job expanding on the canon stuff from this arc lol so props. espec w/showing more of killua being scared of illumi 

oooh this is interesting actually, this is like....an AU where illumi is present during this arc, and how that would change things. And Also They Sing 

the zoldycks are so fucked up lmao 

also i feel like theres some ‘early adaptation’ character weirdness going on, like w/the grandpa, who seems much less intense here than in the anime (at least after seeing him in the yorknew arc), and milluki, who seems like a gag character here lmao

oh my god lmao is hisoka here to visit illumi?

the hilarious irony of illumi telling killua that assassins cant have friends, then going to hang out with his good buddy hisoka

kurapika is the only one here with a brain cell (for now) 

ah yes hisoka and illumi doing their nasty murder flirting thing 

HISOKA IS SO NASTYYYY I HATE HIM tho his actor is very good and smarmy

OH its canary!! is there uh. blackface goin on there. i cant actually tell, what with there being only 3 pixels present at any given time

really love how half of this is just the regular arc but with the characters singing abt stuff during it 

the lady playing killuas mom has a rlly good screeching voice jesus lmao 

ohh i love musical fighting so much

the sound fx on kurapikas sticks are cracking me up

butlers got mad cartwheels

oh theyre doing the coin thing! this is so out of order lmao

oh my god i love that theyre doing like, sick dance moves while coin flipping

ah the zoldyck messenger hawk makes an appearance. i love that thats canon and real

the 12 yr old gay romance is REAL even here 

the subs seems to be translated very literally, especially in the songs, so its honestly not clear what theyre even singing about vbsjkdjhfskjfd

gon and killua singing about each other is adorable tbh. also i love how silva asks killua abt his friends and killua is like yeah i made some friends. and then only talks abt gon ahjsduhfabhskdf gayboy 

ok so the zoldyck arc is like, ending, but theres still an hr of musical left so whats even gonna happen lmao. also where did hisoka go

oh no the audio and video arent synced anymore huvbhjadfbhjsakdf

oooh they asked canary to come w/them, thats cool

theyre having a party??? hvbajdsfbhasjkdf

oh shit??? what did zeburo just do to killua??? WHATS GOING ONNN lol this is UNCHARTED TERRITORY 

OH GOD IT WAS ILLUMI. SHOULDVE KNOWNNN

omggg all their formal outfits....everyone cheering wildly at kurapika is cute 

LEORIO AND KURAPIKA DANCING.....

the fact that both killua and gon are taller than kurapika in this is rlly funny 

the idea that the zoldycks are also highly trained ballroom dancers is super hilarious to think about, even moreso when you consider how isolationist they are 

seriously grandpas got mad flips

also i love leorios outfit 

this feels like a filler arc tbh. and i dont mean that in a bad way!

leorio trying to get kurapika to go to the hot springs with him lmaoooo

HVDSJBJFSBFJHS HISOKAS BACK. IN DISGUISE. OH MY GOD 

hisokas stage presence is fantastic gotta say 

damnnnn dad zoldycks got mad flips too. guess it runs in the family 

props to the actors for managing to keep their wigs on while flipping around like that 

its so fuckgin funny thats hisoka just introduces himself as illumis friend, when this whole arc is all about how assassins Cannot Have Friends 

so hisoka is just here trying to get family approval too huh

gon miming a fishing trip was adorable and realistic...sometimes u get skunked and It Just Be Like That

leorio is rlly tryin to shoot his shot w/kurapika and kp is just Not Realizing huh vbjsdufjbsaukjf

wow leorio breakin the fourth wall like that lmao 

wow so illumi hacked killua. rude 

hisoka and illumi are lowkey hilarious in this 

leorio is rlly sending every signal possible to kurapika and kp is like. No 

leorio: killua is a scary murder baby, but also im adopting him 

kurapika singing abt how weird it is having friends after dedicating their life to Revenge(tm) is v on brand 

HISOKA OH BOY 

LMAOOOO HISOKA IS SUCH A FUCKING SNITCH I CANT 

no wonder illumi didnt wanna tell him abt his evil plan lmaoooo he fucked up even telling hisoka that much clearly 

the zoldyck siblings just staring at hisoka in confusion bc How The Fuck Did This Clown Get In Our House hvbhjdksfnjksdf

you can tell the subs are off when the audience is cracking up but you dont even see a joke there lmao

oh my goddd hisoka using bungee gum to make everyone dance is. hilarious 

oh my god synchronized dancing 

HVBSHDJFBJDSKFHBSJ illumi doing a dance routine independent of hisoka and hisoka being like ????? vhbjsdkhfjkjsdnfkj THIS IS HILARIOUS

supremely funny to me how illumi makes such a big point abt assassins not having friends, yet hisoka is announcing himself as illumis friend w/every given opportunity hvbhajdkdfhjskf

this feels so filler arc i love it. thats so charming to me since the 2011 anime doesnt have any filler (from what i can tell?) 

kurapika and leorio rlly feel like killuas parents here lmaooo

this is all dramatic but kurapika keeps repeating what leorio says and its cracking me up hvbajhkdhfbjsk

i lov this fambly 

ah, even in the musical illumi is still such a manipulative bastard 

i feel like the quality just went down EVEN MORE, which i didnt think was even possible hvbhjkdsfskf. at least the audio is synced w/the video again

illumis got a good evil laugh 

this is the exact brand of dramatic angsty filler content that i was hoping for in this lmao i love it 

oooh more zoldycks 

honestly this is more how i expected the zoldyck arc to go in canon hbshjdkujfkjsfdas

dramatic gay filler angst + somewhat incorrect fansubs = perfection

OH SHIT CANARY 

BRO DID SHE JUST DIE???? OMFG

the subs keep calling illumis power ‘spells’ which seems to imply that illumi is some sort of assassin wizard rather than a nen user hvbsudhfkjsdjgf

come to think of it, what point was the manga at when this musical was written? it has to be pretty early on, maybe just as nen was being introduced

gon boutta go ham on illumi...Get His Ass

OHHHH GON DOING THE ICONIC ARM GRAB....ARM GRAB REPRISE

gon doin the good ole reliable shounen ‘punch your friend and yell at them so they snap out of a funk’ lol

i do love how typically shounen this is. friendship speeches! but delivered by SONG!

illumis main hobby is butting in at the worst possible moments 

HISOKAS BACK OH BOY

hisokas playing card blocked killuas hit hvbhjakdhsfjnakdsf thats like in jojo when those manga blocked dios knives 

wow the whole zoldyck squad is here

ooh forbidden zoldyck lore lmao

killua: mom u guys are lame im joining this much cooler family now. bye 

i love how hisoka is just weirdly lurking around for all this zoldyck drama lmao

silva seems like such a bro in this but i feel like hes rlly not like that in canon vhauidfhbsjhdkjfk

oh nope there he goes w/the evil laugh lmaooooo

sorry dude but leorio is his dad now 

gon sniffing zeburo hgbajkdfshbjkdfjnsjdk oh my god

oh hell yeah some synchronized main character finale dancing 

actor showcase! everyone loves kurapika which, same 

ah so the director of this musical also directed the sailor moon musicals, which i didnt know existed but of course that exists...thats funny considering the hxh mangaka is married to the sailor moon mangaka 

anyways that was fun honestly!!!! i fuckgin love musicals, and musical adaptations of non-musical source materials can be like, SO different tonally, but this honestly felt like a fun filler 

it was really interesting seeing something based on the canon from this early on - as i said above, some of the characterizations (like the zoldycks) seems a bit different than we’re used to, but others were spot on - like hisoka only showing up intermittently to sow chaos and do nothing else vhjkadhbfhkjdsfnj im assuming the yorknew arc hadnt happened at this point, but hisokas actions in this musical were hilariously similar to how he acted in the yorknew arc, so, props. 

plus it was cool to see the ‘what if’ factor w/hisoka and illumi also being there, espec illumi interacting w/killua bc its so wildly different from how killua reacts to any of his other family members - hes clearly scared of illumi, in a way he isnt w/anyone else, and that was done well here w/the scene where illumi threatens killua’s friends to get killua to listen to him

also the angst was honestly great, and there was some REALLY sweet wholesome parts that i loved. and the music wasnt half bad either!!

i think the VAs did a great job playing the characters - hisokas VA was especially great (and i really loved kurapika too). gons hair was not very similar to how it looks in the show so it was a little more obvious that he was being played by a grown woman, but still a great performance. 

anyways fun times, i love musicals and this was a fun ole 2000s filler shounen musical adaptation

[culebratia]

Honest opinions on horror villains

Okay so I love horror villains and horror in general. Most of them are really interesting and have a sort of grotesque charm to them that I can’t really describe, it draws you to them and pulls you into wanting more. But there are some horror villains that are either overrated and underrated, and today I’m here to discuss some of them! (I’d like to reiterate that I don’t hate any of these characters, I actually like them all! But I’m just talking in a general perspective and my view on their popularity and the actual movie they come from.)

LESLIE VERNON

* overrated.

* okay, I know, people are going to get upset at me over this. This was an amazing movie, they said. It’s so new and different from the others, they said. And I completely understand that! It’s unique and inventive and I love the whole premise of the movie, but goddamn did it bore me..

* I like Leslie Vernon as a character, but I don’t love him like I do with other characters. He’s cool! I adore his slasher design, but his personality bores me a little bit at times. There are some points where my emotions and feelings on the guy are a little bit like a rollercoaster — up and down, up and down, up and down. It’s crazy.

* once again, I like the concept of his movie, but the way it was presented in a filmmaking point of view is underwhelming.

ART THE CLOWN

* underrated.

* there are three movies I know of with Art in them: The 9th Circle, All Hallow’s Eve and Terrifer. And all of them are equally shit, which is to be expected since it was written and directed by a young guy who specialises in special effects. But damn was Art interesting to watch.

* there are some points in the movies where I think “why couldn’t he have starred in a better made film?” because if that were so, he’d get so much more publicity! Art is an absolutely terrifying demon clown creature, way more scary than Pennywise, and people from around the world should know his name! He’s the only character in all the movies who actually has good actors.

* shitty movie, fantastic character. I hope to see more of him.

MICHAEL MYERS

* overrated by a milestone.

* look, I’m all for Michael Myers. He’s hot, lemme tell you that. But he’s a really boring character. It’s all the same (apart from the 3rd movie)! Michael returns to his hometown to find and kill Laurie, killing a whole other group of people who she happens to be involved with at some time during the movie.

* when I watch a horror movie, I want to have the villain to have some sort of character. At least with Jason, you can see some emotion in him which defines him as a whole! But with Michael? He’s a clean slate, and that is soo uninteresting.

* first two movies were great, others were unneeded honestly.

BILLY LENZ

* underrateeeeed.

* stinky attic boy needs some love. He is what started the slasher genre for peats sake and yet everyone overlooks him as a horror villain. Let me tell you, that phone scene in the beginning was absolutely fucking terrifying when I first watched it, and it’s still unsettling to this day even after I’ve watched it a million fucking times.

* we never even got to see Billy’s face properly throughout the whole movie and yet he made such an impact on everyone who ever watched Black Christmas! And that ending scene? Perfect cliffhanger. (The remake was shit compared to the original)

* great movie, great character, needs more credit.

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE

* overrated.

* bet y’all are shocked at this aren’t you? He’s the character I most often write for. But that’s really because he’s heavily requested. I actually don’t really like him all that much, too much exposure I guess. I mean I have nothing against his character as a whole, he’s attractive to me and interesting but I don’t actually know.

* now the movie is something I do know about though: bullshit. Absolutely terrible. A basic plot line (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing sometimes, it just needs to be played out right) and a director which results to cheap jump scares because apparently that’s ‘scary’. The movie as a whole is so predictable and it never scared me once when I went to watch it at the cinema. I can understand why people like it though.

* decent(?) character, bad movie.

OTIS DRIFTWOOD + family

* underrated.

* okay this might have something to do with my weakness for Bill Moseley, scarily cute women and clowns, but man do I love the Firefly family. Each and every character, even the ones we barely see, within the family is so perfectly polished and unique, and I love Rob Zombie for it. He can’t write dialogue for shit but man do I love his horror villains.

* although the first movie was very confusing at some points. Like, what?? What was with that ending? It was a very good movie in my opinion and was actually pretty horrifying. It used things that disgust us and manipulated that to terrify every single one of its viewers and that’s perfect. Hated the protagonists though.

* fantastic movie, great villains, shitty protagonists,

FREDDY KRUEGER

* overrated.

* now don’t get me wrong, I love Freddy, I grew up loving Freddy. He’s witty and fun to watch, maybe not like Chucky, but after a while he gets so repetitive that it gets really really annoying. Couldn’t they think of something unique and interesting for him to say instead of him just calling everyone a bitch??

* the writing becomes boring after a while, the directors add so many unnecessary features, weaknesses and powers we had no clue even existed up until this very point, and it’s overall not a very good franchise when you get into it. I enjoyed the first and seventh movie a lot, but all of the other ones didn’t really excite me all that much.

* okay character, okay movie, but isn’t worth all the attention.

NUBBINS SAWYER, DRAYTON SAWYER, CHOP-TOP SAWYER + GRANDPA SAWYER

* un👏🏽der👏🏽ra👏🏽ted

* these boys deserve just the same amount of attention that Leatherface does. I know that Bubba is a really cool character, and he deserves attention too! But that doesn’t mean that his family get to be left out. Each and every single one of them helped shape the Texas Chainsaw franchise to what it is today, and honestly it wouldn’t have been as amazing without them in it.

* Texas Chainsaw has so many metaphors within it nobody really goes into. When we first meet Nubbins and he’s kicked out of the van, Franklin very obviously points out “would you be able to do that?” referring to Nubbins slicing his hand up, and later on we see Franklin blowing raspberries at his friends due to the fact that he couldn’t go upstairs because of his disability, which is exactly what Nubbins was doing when he couldn’t get into the van. This area is the director exploring the ways that people could so easily turn into madness without people realising it.

* Drayton Sawyer is your average looking fellow who runs the Sawyer household, but he is not average at all. He’s sadistic, witty, hypocritical, and surprisingly still a Christian. He claims that he “doesn’t like to do the killing” and yet he’s shown constantly poking and prodding at the final girls like they’re some caged animals, living only for the pleasure of himself. The fact that he’s an elderly man basically screams “wolf in sheeps clothing”, because usually when you see an elderly person, you assume them to be kind and wise, whereas, Drayton can’t even spell ‘sex’ correctly.

* Chop-Top wasn’t present in the first movie sadly, but it’s explained why, which is understandable in a filmmaking perspective. He is probably the most terrifying character out of the bunch. He’s impulsive, disgusting, and absolutely fucking insane. Whether or not this is due to his time in Vietnam I don’t know, but man does it make a great affect. And that time in the movie where he was introduced? It was absolutely heavenly. No one in today’s horror industry would build up suspense like that and cause so much raw fear from a petty jump scare. The fact that he carries around his damn brothers corpse like he’s puppet, treating him like he’s still a living being adds onto the scare factor as well.

* great villains, good movies, everything after TCSM2 wasn’t really very good though.

Okay, now that’s over and done with! Let me show you my top ten favourite horror villains (from actual horror movies), you’ll either be completely shocked or completely not! :)

Pinhead — love the creature design. Fantastic personality and concept. Annoyed he’s not a woman.

Bubba Sawyer — baby boy needs love. And affection. And kisses. And basically anything positive. We must protect him.

Chop-Top Sawyer — terrified me when I first saw him as a kid. I wanna fuck Bill Moseley. I love his personality. Wish his movie came out.

Captain Spaulding — funny ass motherfucker. Always cracks me up. I want him to be my daddy.

Hannibal Lecter — interesting in a psychological perspective. Has a way to make your skin crawl without doing much.

Art the Clown — scarier than Pennywise. I wish his movies were better. Why didn’t Terrifier make it obvious he was a demon?

Otis Driftwood — boy’s a hottie. But please stop fucking corpses. Once again, Bill Moseley.

Stu Macher — first fictional crush. He’s my irl type of guy. I dated a guy like him once.

Jennifer Check — movie was ahead of its time. Legit was about having a succubus gf. Lesbian scene was hot. I’m gay for Meagan Fox.

Billy Lenz — terrifying phone calls. Nasty boi. The remakes will never be as great as the OG Black Christmas.

Anyways, so that’s it! It’s past midnight currently so I might just go to bed lol but whatever. I’ve wanted to write this out for a whiiile but decided to just get it over with now. I’ll say it all again: every character I write for, I like, I just have different levels of like, so please no hate over this. Thanks!