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eponymous-rose · 6 years ago

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E50 (Feb. 5, 2019)

Are any of us ever, really, on the internet?

This week’s guests are Taliesin Jaffe and Matt Mercer!

Brian shames Taliesin and Matt for (to be fair, accidentally) pouring coke in with their 22-year-old scotch. I am also physically pained by this. I may need a minute to compose myself. (@loquaciousquark: “I like how you’re Brian in this and I’m Matt.”)

Announcements: MAME drop airs three hours before Talks every week! Next week’s Between the Sheets will feature Will Friedle, and last night’s episode featured Quyen Tran! Critical Role will be taking this coming Thursday off, and Talks Machina will be taking next Tuesday off, but the show returns on Valentine’s Day!

But for now, let’s jump into Episode 50: The Endless Burrows

Stats for this week’s ep: Fjord got the 50th HDYWTDT in the 50th episode! The Roper’s crit on Caleb would have one-shotted him had Caduceus not reduced it by negating the crit. Spurt is the first on-screen guest player character death in the history of the show. Chris Perkins was at the table for 22 minutes and 15 seconds. Taliesin: “That’s an episode of network television right there.”

Chris was in town unexpectedly, and asked if he could come watch the show. Matt had written Spurt as an NPC character, just to see how the M9 would react to him. As he was driving to the studio, he realized it could be a lot of fun to let Chris play the character instead. Chris was on board, and Matt told him “You’ll know when to jump in,” and that was that. Nobody else had any idea he was going to be playing.

Caduceus is “in his element but out of his element” underground. “He’s looking for things to be excited about. Not a lot of things to be excited about here. It’s kind of awful.” Taliesin is trying to let him be a little more tactical, to just take care of things and do what needs to be done. “He’s on edge, but it’s a healthy edge.”

Matt clarifies that the party haven’t really emerged into the Underdark---they’re just skimming the edges of it. After spending a lot of time there in the last campaign, Matt didn’t necessarily want to bring it back there again.

Caduceus doesn’t see the group as being deceitful so much as just people who haven’t had the option of being open before. “He’s trying to make that option available.” Part of his training at the temple involved talking to people, helping them feel better, and helping them open up, so this is nothing new to him. Matt: “The solitary therapist.” Taliesin: “He really, really likes them.”

Spurt was originally intended to be a potential hindrance to keep the group from getting past the fire giants stealthily, if he wound up coming along with them. Turned out he... sort of removed himself from that equation.

On the parade of tragic backstories: “I don’t think Clay fully comprehends how bad this all is. I don’t know if he can comprehend art film horror. ‘That’s rough, man.’“ Matt: “He’s the Fred Tatasciore of the group.” Everyone is delighted by that comparison.

Matt was looking for opportunities to bring tragic backstories together. Taliesin calls it a “car crash” approach.

Why are D&D characters often so tragic? Taliesin: “It’s harder to make an interesting happy person.” Matt: “That’s true, but it’s not impossible.” He talks about how it’s natural to try to build something into a character’s backstory to propel them into the dangers of adventure. It’s also the opportunity for a player to work through something they’re going through out-of-game in a safe, cathartic way.

Caduceus is “still a little lanky”. Taliesin points out that this is to be expected because he’s a “vegan on the road”. There’s a long discussion about how the food he makes is “basically semi-firm tofu”.

Matt freaks out a bit about the unintentional callback... VM also being a mid-level party descending into the Underdark in search of a halfling and almost losing a rogue’s foot to lava. A lot of things had to go a particular way for that to happen, and he definitely wasn’t expecting it, especially since he was consciously trying to avoid familiar territory with the Underdark this time around.

Brian: “Which is funny, because the writers never even saw the first campaign.”

Taliesin points out that a trickster cleric is meant to be more of a toolkit, whereas a grave cleric build is more of a medkit.

Taliesin: “I’ve learned my lesson, and I have like three new character ideas ready to go, for this campaign or the next.”

There’s a lot of debate about where the hell Spurt got a skunk, which leads to the creation of the magical item Skunk Jug, which produces a skunk.

Caduceus enjoyed the romance novel, but it hadn’t “entirely clicked”. “He’s aware that: ‘Ah, they’re doing the hanky-panky stuff.’ It’s not really in his wheelhouse.”

Matt was very proud of the group coming up with their plan to get past the giant, and he felt a bit bad that Nott rolled so low (although he also loves the “magnificent clusterfuck” moments that are the hallmark of D&D). Brian: “That’s just a testament to how bad Sam is as a player.”

Caduceus took Warcaster as his next feat. “This seems to be in-character and useful.”

Fan art of the week: Nott running across the lava! Taliesin: “I want to play that game. That’s an 8-bit game I want to play.”

Brian asks Matt if the game’s about where he thought it would be at episode 50. Matt: “We’re charging into Xhorhas earlier than I was expecting. We need to get Ashley back soon.” (They’ll get her back in a couple months.) He also points out that some story beats have happened in the world in the group’s absence. He didn’t want to tailor the story’s trajectory to manufacture a big moment in episode 50. The group’s involvement in the Empire has been less than expected, but the direction they’re taking is much more direct than he was expecting. Taliesin points out that if the group had been Vox Machina, they would’ve involved themselves in the politics of the war instantly. Matt reiterates that he loves DMing in a reactionary way when the players push in an unexpected direction.

All Taliesin wants to do right now is fix that sword. He’s expecting it to be, like, a +1 cursed sword that just sings constantly and can’t ever be put down.

Taliesin: “I’m enjoying corralling all the kids.” Matt points out that he’s a much-needed influence on the group. Beau is the one that Cad considers to be his best friend. Dani: “You two can’t not be best friends in this show.” Cad thinks of Fjord as an angsty teen. He thinks Caleb is occasionally up his own butt a bit. He hasn’t figured out that Jester’s an adult yet. “’Oh, she’s happy and fine. Thank goodness someone is.’ And obviously she’s not, but he hasn’t figured that out yet.” He’s disappointed in Nott for the amount of drinking, although he hasn’t said it out loud.

Taliesin: “Cad thinks dangerous things have wisdom. Sometimes just walking up to something and asking is very useful. Sometimes you can avoid getting arrested in front of a coffee shop by offering the officer a hot pocket.”

Matt talks about how getting players to avoid combat is a teaching process that involves incentivizing out-of-the-box approaches. That’s in direct contrast to the more traditional grind-through-fights approach to D&D that was prevalent in the early editions, so it can be a process. He points out that you can talk to players out-of-game, or you can change your own plans to allow players a non-combat win even if it’s a bit of a stretch.

Taliesin and Matt both own a pair of chaps. As you do.

Taliesin’s personal inspiration for Cad’s staff was very Dark Crystal-driven. The crystal comes from the land he lives on. He dug up the crystal and made the staff himself; the beetles crawl into and out of the stick continuously.

Talks Machina: After Dog

Brian: "Are you relaxed right now?” Taliesin: “Yeah, there’s something in this Coke that’s really...”

Taliesin got started with eyeliner in high school with Vampire LARPing. He had a (mumblemumble)”furk idee” that got him into goth clubs early. Matt first learned to apply eyeliner for cosplay, then wore it for the first time outside of cosplay clubbing with Taliesin (they also had an industrial goth karaoke night).

Dumbest way they’ve managed to injure themselves? Matt was editing There Will Be Brawl’s final episode, which was a bit too overambitious and he was the only editor, and he didn’t sleep for 72 hours and threw his back out horribly from sitting too long. Taliesin was doing a student film as a teenager, and was asked to do a stunt that involved holding someone up to a moving train (Matt: “What the fuck, Taliesin?”). He had really long goth nails at the time and managed to break all ten of his nails off entirely doing that stunt. “I didn’t drop him into the moving train!” Matt: “That’s why unions are good.”

Brian: “I lit myself on fire with a molotov cocktail.” Yes, really, but he wasn’t badly burned. Taliesin: “Did you at least hit the man? Did it stick to him?” Brian: “It was not a man. It was a porta-potty.” Matt reiterates how grateful he was not to have grown up with cellphone video.

Matt: “So you’re saying...” Taliesin: “I was Emperor Norton, yeah.” Matt: “Aw. I’m proud of you!”

We all learned... a lot today. See you in two weeks for episode 100 of Talks Machina!

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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mybeautifuldecay · 6 years ago

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Private Tutor. Chapter Twenty-Three: You Want To Hear More.

This chapter was meant to be a sweet homage to @gotham-ruaidh on her birthday - but I was an epic fail and missed it. Then this chapter took an age to refine. But hopefully it’s worth the wait. Gothie, you are an awesome human and ILY.

Many thanks to @suhailauniverse as always - my heroine.

MASTER LIST can be found behind the words should you need it <3

The soft sway of the nets hanging in Jamie’s windows broke the semi-silence. Claire was breathless, her flesh almost torn from her body whilst Jamie lay wordlessly by her side. He healed her in ways she couldn’t comprehend; from the light touches he showered on her through the day, to the more powerful thrust of his hips as he hovered over her in their bed - there wasn’t a single scar left open on her body since he’d entered her life.

“What are ye thinking about, sassenach?” He asked, as if he didn’t already know the answer.

“You.” She whispered back, the steady pound of her heart racing against her ribcage increasing slightly with the admittance and then slowing to a normal beat once again as lucidity returned and the bones in her legs removed to allow her more agile movements to resume.

“And what, may I ask, specifically were ye thinking about?”

“Too much all at once. But mostly how much I love you.”

“I think ye said that out loud quite a lot last night, if I recall?”

“I couldn’t help it.” Laughing quietly, she turned her head to face him so that he could see the redness sneaking across her cheeks. “You had your lips against my neck - it’s my weak spot. It…” she continued, inhaling deeply as she brought to life last nights amorous activities, her eyes closing briefly as the images played behind her lids, “...makes my toes curl and my heart stop for just a moment.”

“I could tell. Ye shuddered, but no’ in an unpleasant way. Yer skin came alive wi’ goosebumps and ye curled yer body so close to mine that I couldna tell where ye ended and I began. That’s why I kept doing it.” He smirked, his lips curling up in such a way that it made him look angelic and very accomplished all at the same time.

“I’d let you do that to me all day long - you’d hear no complaints from me.”

Enjoying the freedom summer afforded them, Claire and Jamie were basking in the glow of one another. They’d spent nearly twenty-four hours half naked as close to one another as humanly possible. In amidst the turmoil they’d faced over the last few weeks, the idle bliss they now found themselves in was a blessing.

“Is that so, lass…” he teased, running one finger beneath her chin as she sighed, satisfaction rolling through her.

“If only we could stay here forever.” She replied, shifting her hips closer to his as his fingers trailed lower. The unopened letter seemed to call to her from the table as she tried not to think about the information that it might contain.

“We can, mo nighean donn.”

“What does that mean?” She asked, changing the subject entirely. “You never told me you spoke another language.”

“Oh, aye. I speak Gaelic, the Scots variant no’ the Irish. Da was certain he wanted us to learn it. Did ye know that less than 2% of Scots speak it?”

Claire shook her head and tipped her head back, her lids hooded as she smiled softly.

“Aye, well, that’s true. It’s dying out but my father’s parents spoke it fluently, as does da and he wanted us to continue the tradition - it runs deep in the Fraser blood, ye ken?”

“Being bilingual?” Quirking a brow, Claire nudged her nose playfully against his.

“Yer a witty one, but no,” he returned, kissing her softly, “upholding the proud Scottish tradition of speaking the language, ye wee sassenach heathen.”

“Oh, so it’s name calling is it?”

“It is when ye mock me.”

“Well it just so happens that I can speak quite a hefty amount of French, Mr Fraser - I’m not perfect, but I lived there for a year in my early teens.”

“Och! That sounds interesting.” He muttered, his lips caressing her earlobe as he ran his hand softly over her belly. Feeling her response to his touch, he increased his ministrations.

“You want to hear more?”

“Always.”

Breathlessly, his fingers drawing the words from her as if by magic, Claire leaned her head towards him and spoke - her body aching for him as she did so. “It was your stereotypical French adventure really. I stayed in Paris - we moved because my father took a year secondment with work. Mother stayed at home and schooled me because I didn’t, in the beginning, know enough French to get by…” gasping, she inhaled audibly as Jamie’s fingers crept lower, running along her pelvic bone until he reached the top of her thigh.

“And did ye get to see the Eiffel Tower?”

“Yes.” She groaned, unable to control the flex of her hips and she thrust upwards.

“I’ve never seen it, though I’ve been to France. Tell me about it, Sassenach…” he trailed off, letting his digits dance over her sensitive skin.

“It’s big.” She returned, her words no more than a whisper now as language failed her.

“Aye, I bet it is...and?”

“Sturdy….fuck...it’s powerful. Externally, it’s a mesh of metal and geometric, harsh lines, but it’s beautiful and captivating.”

“Ach, so it’s full of contradictions then? A complex structure that instills wonder and awe in those that come across it.”

Unable to continue talking, Claire arched her back to enable her mouth to reach for his. “I don’t care,” she mumbled, her hands running down the curves of his spine until they rested neatly over his arse, “I just want you inside me, please.” The feel of him pressed against her was too much to bear as she hooked her leg around his hip, trapping his hand between them.

“Jesus in heaven, Claire,” he cursed lowly, his fingertips twitching against her heated flesh, “I canna control myself when ye say things like that.”

“Then don’t.” She coaxed, rolling her hips once as she turned herself, pinning him to the bed beneath her. With her groin pressing solidly against his, she could feel how much he ached for her too and she smiled, biting her bottom lip as she did so. Using her hands to keep her balanced, she dug her fingers into the pillows where she had placed them -either side of Jamie’s head- as she angled herself so that she could feel the warm length of him between her thighs. “Because I don’t think that I can wait any longer.”

Taking hold of her waist with both hands, Jamie steadied her as she bent forward a little and pushed herself down. In an instant he was nestled inside her, her hips now fully level with his as she sighed loudly - the look of relief spreading across her face as she let her mouth hang open.

“Move wi’ me, Claire.” Jamie moaned as he shimmied his hips upwards to meet hers - the sound of their bodies moving as one echoing around them. “Rock yer hips in time wi’ mine.”

“Yes.” She returned quietly, nodding her head as she obeyed, her motions slow and stunted as she gave herself time to adjust to him this way. Her expertise in this area was limited; at first she’d been privy to only the basic sexual positions and as time had gone on, and her intimacy with Frank had become more and more sparse - she had given less thought to achieving any pleasure through intercourse. Her last time with him had been fraught with tension, the thought of him touching her making her feel queasy and sick.

Part of her had worried that her personal relationship with sex had been irreversibly damaged by that experience but the moment Jamie had touched her, kissed her, held her close to his chest - she had all but forgotten those terrible moments and allowed herself the luxury of enjoying the caress of someone who actively cared about her wellbeing.

“J-Jesus,” she gasped, her legs tensing as a bolt of unadulterated pleasure shot through her turning her bones to jelly once more, “you feel so good.”

As the edges of her vision blurred, Claire closed her eyes and pushed herself down one final time as she shuddered, her body clamping down -almost painfully- on Jamie before flopping forwards, a shivering mass of spent tissue as she melted into a puddle on his chest.

“Did you…?” She managed to ask, her breath coming in pants as she tried to recall whether she’d felt him orgasm at the same time as trying to recover from her own.

“Aye.” Jamie whispered, a tender smile pulling at his lips as he stroked the sweat from her back. “Now rest, Claire.”

Shifting her back onto her side, Jamie pulled the blanket back around them both, cocooning them as they shut out the steady build of traffic that was beginning to invade their privacy. Brian was coming to collect them both in a few hours so that they could make the journey up to Inverness together, but until that point he didn’t want to think about anything other than Claire. He especially didn’t want to have to think about the prospect of sharing her.

“You too then,” she sighed, “I can almost hear the cogs in your head turning. Sleep now, just sleep here with me for a little while.”

Unable to resist the calming lilt of her voice, he closed his eyes and buried his nose into her hair - her curls tickling him as he kissed her cheek reverently. “I can’t wait to show you everything, Claire,” he mumbled, his words slurring together as he dozed on and off, “where I grew up, the farm...all of it.”

“Me too.” Yawning, Claire burrowed closer, letting the swoosh of the cars lull her to sleep as the dull Glaswegian daylight fluttered over them, the patterns from the drapes creating strange floral shadows over their fatigued flesh as their chests rose and fell simultaneously - their bodies synchronized even as they slept.

#private tutor au #gotham's writing workshop #jamie and claire

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miss-m-calling · 6 years ago

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Fandom 5k letter

Requests:

Adult Wednesday Addams -- Wednesday Addams

American Gods (TV) -- Laura Moon/Mad Sweeney

Cabin Pressure -- Carolyn & Arthur & Martin & Douglas

Moonlighting (TV) -- David Addison/Maddie Hayes

Dear writer,

Hello and thank you for writing for me. I’m very excited to read whatever you come up with.

I do give more or more detailed prompts for some of these canons than for others – that’s not because I want some more than others, but only because for some I get lots of ideas, for others I’m more “waves arms all over the place give me more of XYZ I love in canon!!” I hope whatever I put down sparks your creativity, and feel free to reach out through the mods if you have any questions! My likes and DNWs are all the way on the bottom of the letter.

Without further ado…

Requests:

Adult Wednesday Addams

Wednesday Addams

Genres: Action/adventure, Canon-style plot, Humor, Slice of life, Worldbuilding

I belatedly discovered this webseries, and it resurrected (see what I did there?) my love for Wednesday and how the Addams Family canon runs on the endless possibilities of this loving, happily eccentric family being 100% true to themselves and the world just having to deal with it. The show was everything I never knew I wanted till I watched it, the perfect blend of Addams-macabre and cozy slice of life with bonus Wednesday navigating the world alone, without always knowing her family will back her up, and it made me crave more of adult Wednesday’s mini adventures in LA. For this canon, I’m good with gen or, if you want to write that, more of Wednesday’s adventures in dating guys who really aren’t up to the challenge, and you can absolutely have Wednesday interact with OCs I haven’t listed as part of a pairing. I’m keeping the prompts pretty short, just to (hopefully) pique your creativity, as I expect I will love any way you make these or any similar scenarios play out:

-Wednesday goes to IKEA

-More of Wednesday’s interactions with the nice interns at her receptionist job. Maybe they invite her out to happy hour, or to the beach or a club. Or maybe we get to eavesdrop while they shoot the breeze on their lunch break, possibly over barbecue-chicken pizza from CPK.

-More of Wednesday’s gigs. She already babysits and walks other people’s dogs, what else might she do for extra cash that would be both really common and seemingly ill-suited to Wednesday, except she totally makes it work for her? Cat sitting (especially if the cat belongs to someone incredibly rich whose house is full of secrets – and expensive things for the cat to knock over), driving an Uber/Lyft, becoming an AirBnB host, catering/server, working the late shift in a New Age/occult supply store where none of the woo is real…?

-Or, alternately, Wednesday finds a career that is perfect for her, in which she can have success and respect. What ever could that be and still fit into the non-Addams world?

-Wednesday tries speed dating

-Or, she runs into Brian a.k.a. chains guy (I cackle with glee every time I rewatch the bit when he tries to kiss her at the pet store) a third time – how does it not go quite as he wanted or expected this time?

-Wednesday’s family comes out to sunny, plastic, image-conscious LA to visit her and make sure she’s doing alright. She gives them a tour of the city, and LA will never be the same again.

-Wednesday takes an evening class, or goes back to school part time, or enrolls in an online degree program

-Wednesday takes a road trip, alone or with her apartment mates/colleagues/Brian/strangers she met for carpooling purposes. Bonus points if you work in real roadside attractions, or tourist traps, or famous sites/landscapes.

-It’s Dia de Muertos, and Wednesday goes out to celebrate and soak up the atmosphere. It may or may not live up to her expectations.

-If you wanted to get a bit meta and/or enjoy playing around with different formatting, what does Wednesday’s Tumblr/Twitter/Facebook/Tindr look like? Or, Wednesday gets tasked with updating company social media at her receptionist job, and she does it with her own special flair.

American Gods (TV)

Laura Moon/Mad Sweeney

Genres: Action/adventure, AU - canon divergence, Canon-style plot, Character development, Getting together, Smut, Worldbuilding

Let me preface this by saying how much I appreciate that you are willing to write for an ongoing canon! I love this pairing, and while most of my prompts are basically the same ones I’ve used in exchanges before S2 (which I am watching) started airing, let me assure you that I am 1000% fine with your fic getting jossed, or including a divergence from what we already know or how things happen in canon. You can work with the canon -- or as much of it as we have by the time you’re done writing -- or diverge in a way that works for your story. Really truly honestly it’s all fine since you are writing for an active canon, and I really truly honestly appreciate you wanting to tackle this! Canon divergences and canon-flavored-if-not-entirely-compliant stories are my jam, so please don’t feel anxious as the canon keeps unfolding, nor pressed to keep up with S2 if you can’t or don’t want to watch it right now. (I tried to keep S2 spoilers to a minimum in my prompts, but there are some spoilers.)

So *clears throat*

I ship it. Yes I do. They had me at “gimme-my-coin-dead-wife”-flicks-him-into-wall. The snarky road trip was the best thing I never knew I wanted until it happened, and I adored every second of it. They’re both such assholes and so fascinating, even if they start to mellow toward each other a bit toward the end of S1, and all the gods/magic/resurrection stuff swirling around them begs to be explored further. Also I love love love how their dynamic is about equal parts spikiness, pathos, and humor (they’re funny! and the canon doesn’t shy away from putting them in ludicrous situations), and it weaves seamlessly between those three. Plus she’s half his size yet can and does beat him up with literally one finger, and then there’s the angst of he having killed her, feeling really guilty about it, and then bringing her back.

Please give me either missing scenes from the road trip (if you can work in a divergence, that’s great - for example, I like Salim, but if you want to have him boot Sweeney and Laura to the curb and go off on his own, or Sweeney to boost his taxi before Salim catches them, or whatever else to have those two alone, go for it!), or a S1 divergence (instead of going to Ostara, they go where? to see whom? about getting Laura resurrected) or something about these two post-S1/during-S2:

-Laura discovers (how? you decide!) that Sweeney gave her back the coin after their accident – whatever happens next, some punching may be involved.

-Wednesday’s big war finally comes, and “don’t you dare die on me, you asshole” is a line either Sweeney or Laura (or both) might say to each other.

-Laura asked “What does Wednesday have to lose?” and the answer is…? (Yes, give me that sweet poetic justice. One possibility, though not remotely the only one, but as of S2E3 Laura is technically a god-killer...)

-On a similar note, Wednesday told that luckless cop that Sweeney had been against the big gods’ war from the start, and while Wednesday lies, Sweeney definitely seems to be participating out of a sense of obligation and lingering guilt over the war he ran from long ago, rather than lust for a good fight or even a dominant death wish. What if he decided to hell with Grimnir and his war and his having Sweeney kill random people? I’m guessing Sweeney too drank three glasses of mead so he can’t back out without dire consequence - but he does have a fierce, dead woman in his corner.

-They go to some as-yet-unnamed old god (feel free to bring in whatever mythology you want) in order to bring Laura back to life. Between Sweeney’s mouth and temper, and Laura’s mouth and temper, it doesn’t go well. Now one or both of them are in big magical trouble with a pissed-off deity and have to get themselves/each other out of it.

-Things happen and Laura finds herself in the position to throw Sweeney under the bus but also help/save him, and while he knows it’s only karma, he can still be pissed about it - how do they navigate this?

-Laura gets fully alive again, but traces of her (un)dead state remain – what are they, how does she cope, what price did she/he/they have to pay for her resurrection, and how does their relationship change? I’d especially be curious how it would work if they’re already a sorta-maybe-item and *then* she’s alive again and it’s weird in a new way.

-For reasons I’ll leave up to you, Sweeney and Laura have to stay put in a single place for a while and end up essentially cohabiting, regardless of what their relationship is at that point. Take “cohabiting” as literally or as creatively as you want -- in any case, I’m sure it will be marvelously disastrous and amazing.

-Slight or major AU from the opening of “The Ways of the Dead”: Laura has hitchhiked with Sweeney instead of going off in a huff with Wednesday, or she otherwise gets to New Orleans sooner, and she and Sweeney tear up the town together. Gimme bar fights, carnival shenanigans, backstage craziness with the Christian rock band (Sweeney seems to have a backstage pass on a lanyard around his neck when Laura finds him)… Maybe they even cross the paths of some loa and it doesn’t get all angsty (for what it’s worth, I think the reason the sex magic didn’t bring Laura back to life was because she couldn’t accept the truth(s) revealed during the astral-plain sex – see how she defaults straight to “this is all Wednesday’s evil plan” the morning after – not because the loa fucked them over as Sweeney said). They were actually getting along nicely in those first couple of scenes, only ribbing each other a little while still being their grouchy selves, before they got to Le Coq Noir. I wouldn’t have minded seeing some more of that.

-All the old gods hide their true appearance to an extent. A situation arises in which Laura sees Sweeney’s true, or at least old, self (I’m thinking of his surprise!poignant monologue about when he used to be a king, and the glimpse of him in full Celtic warrior mode in the S2 teaser). Or Wednesday’s war ends in victory, meaning the old gods again get belief, worship, and sacrifices. How does Laura, the ultimate skeptic even when she’s on the other side of the mirror, react? How does this new knowledge and new reality change her opinion of/attitude to Sweeney? Or to flip that around, if Sweeney were again relevant and believed-in, would that actually change his bad attitude and fix his issues (my guess is it would be complicated)?

-The power of names: for all his “dead wifeing,” there comes a time when Sweeney (has to) call her by her actual name, and that’s a tricky moment for them to navigate. Or, Mad Sweeney is almost certainly not his actual name, since true names have great magical power and so must be kept secret; Laura discovers or learns his name, from someone else or from himself; what does she do with that knowledge? Or, Sweeney gets to say “cunt” in a situation (sexual or otherwise) where, not only does Laura not peel his lips from his gums, but she finds that she can’t object, even though she knows that he knows that he’s getting away with it.

-So far in canon, it’s pretty clear that Sweeney has a lot of complicated but sincere feelings for Laura. But Laura is still pretty focused on Shadow (or rather her idealized vision of Shadow and what their relationship might yet be), whom she seems to equate with her own lost-maybe-to-be-regained life, although she’s starting to soften toward Sweeney as she realizes he’s doing things for her that are not all about getting his coin back (and her sparring match with Wednesday in “Muninn” may finally force her to accept that her relationship with Shadow died alongside her and Robbie on that road in Indiana). Tell me the story of how Laura stumbles her way to starting to feel more complex, maybe kinder or softer, really annoying for her blunt-force-trauma-personality things about Sweeney and about the notion that her dynamic with him is different from the way she tended to use men for her convenience without really letting them in in the past. Also I’m pretty sure that even if they felt the same – or sorta in the same ballpark – about each other, their relationship would still run on a lot of conflict, and I would so be here for it.

-On that note: in “Munnin” it also becomes clear that Laura has, without realizing it herself, started to rely on Sweeney. The “I trusted you” line made me think, whoa she’s too mad to catch herself doing it but this is huge for Laura, and the fact that she goes off with Wednesday (!) basically because she’s mad at Sweeney because she thinks he’s prioritizing his debt to Wednesday over her… Yeah, I would like to see that explored some more and/or to see Laura and Sweeney get to a point where they trust each other and rely on each other, and know it and accept it, however difficult the getting there and being there may be for them.

-And since I’m on the subject of Laura, you know how she’s not actually an abrasive bitch all the time to everyone? And when she is, the people on the receiving end of it sometimes richly deserve it, and anyway it’s refreshing to see a female character who doesn’t bother flirting and accommodating others for the sake of social harmony? As much as I enjoy watching her rip into people (ahem, Sweeney), I also love it when she acts differently, like her genuine interest in getting to know Salim and her joy in seeing him again in S2, or her running passive-aggressive battle of wills with Wednesday, or even her general disaffection and numbness in “Git Gone.” Her beginning to feel sympathy for Sweeney and her anger and disappointment when she feels let down by him are a part of that, and I’d love to see all that explored more. Nuance! Give me all the nuance and seeming contradictions in both Laura and Sweeney’s characters!

-My perfect AG spinoff would basically be Sweeney and Laura tooling around America, looking to get her resurrected (whether they succeed or not is up to you), stealing ever more ridiculous vehicles, arguing/fighting and having those pesky moments where vulnerability and genuineness creep in – and fucking. So yessiree I’d be down for porn, including “it’s technically necrophilia/zombiesex” porn.

-All the petty, ridiculous ways in which Sweeney’s bad luck manifests itself make me laugh (can’t help it, won’t even try), and I’m down for more variations on that theme.

-If you wanted to throw in some worldbuilding, maybe something exploring living death. Magical bargains. What kind of favor did Sweeney do for Ostara that would be worth her bringing someone back to life as repayment? What other powers might Sweeney have (he doesn’t seem on a par with someone like Wednesday and Ostara, nor is he really a god, more a mythological being/kinda-deified former-mortal)? How long can a dead wife keep going before she’s “soup”? What other superhuman abilities might dead!Laura have? Can the dead do magic? What even are the rules governing and the limits of different beings’ magical abilities?

If it helps your inspiration, you can find some of my meta and lots of tag-burbling about these two here. I have read the book though I remember it only in bits and pieces, and while I prefer the show characters and the fact that they get thrown together, you can use or riff on book material if you want. With reference to one of my DNWs, for this canon, describing Laura’s physical decay is totally fine. Also, Shadow/Laura don’t interest me except as a part of Laura’s backstory (so if your story wants to include Laura figuring out or having already figured out that pinning all her hopes on Shadow to make everything right is unrealistic, unfair, and not how it works – by all means, go for it!), and Shadow/Sweeney interest me not at all.

My one canon-specific, really strong DNW for this pairing is this: I’m not into Laura being Essie’s reincarnation/descendant or – as fanon suggests and canon hints she may be – some sort of reincarnation of Sweeney’s wife from back when he was a king in old Ireland. Reincarnation/“new love looks like old love”/“lost love found again” plots bore me, and I don’t enjoy ships that hinge on characters being somehow destined to be together. Characters having agency is my jam as much as canon divergences are. Or if your fic really needs to go there, please please please don’t dwell on the Laura-Essie-Sweeney’s-wife-of-old thing, a brief mention would be more than enough. I’m certain Laura would have neither time nor patience for the notion that Destiny Fate and All That Jazz threw her together with ginger minge, and even if it were technically true, she’d still want this relationship to work on her terms – and Sweeney obviously has a problem with Laura’s cheating, her relationship with Shadow, her personality (though he also recognizes they’re alike in many ways), and all that maps onto his anger and sadness over becoming irrelevant over time, so it’s not just about Laura. So yeah, let them be their own (grumpy, spiky, dysfunctional) people, and let Laura’s dynamic with Sweeney not be shaped solely by his past and his issues.

Cabin Pressure

Carolyn Knapp-Shappey & Arthur Shappey & Martin Crieff & Douglas Richardson

Genres: Action/adventure, Canon-style plot, Humor, Slice of life

I just want more canon-y stories with their loopy humor and their weird yet loving family dynamics among the crew. Shenanigans in mid-flight or in the tedium which precedes and the tiredness which follows them. Someone smuggles (knowingly or not) an exotic animal on-board, legal, security, medical and/or slapstick chaos ensues. A mechanical, passenger- or smuggled-goods-caused problem arises and is solved during a journey. More games played on board GERTI. Playing around with a specific destination, like in many episodes, would be a plus. If it helps inspire you, my favorite episodes in terms of tone and content are: Douz, Gdansk, Johannesburg, Limerick, Ottery St. Mary, Uskerty, and Xinzhou.

For this canon, I prefer gen with maybe, if you want to go there, some Douglas/Carolyn on the side. That’s a ship I always thought had potential – they understand each other very well and trust each other... some of the time, but they’re both also snark-masters, tend to look down on anyone not as smart or quick-witted as they (Arthur being the sole – occasional – exception), and are really good about keeping their defenses up against other people. But I requested the gen group, and I definitely want the gen group – please don’t feel pressed to write the ship, that’s just a wild suggestion I threw out there.

Moonlighting (TV)

David Addison/Maddie Hayes

Genres: Action/adventure, AU - canon divergence, Canon-style plot, Established relationship, Getting together, Humor, Mystery/procedural, Slice of life

I osmosed tons about this show over the years but didn’t get around to watching it myself till recently. And then I loved it much more than I thought I would! Yeah, sure, some of it’s dated, and some of it’s ropey in terms of how the characters interact ( all the casual sexism and battle of the sexes stuff are very 80s indeed), but the chemistry! the banter! the funny! the shiptease! Gimme!

I tried to come up with lots of prompts, but ended up with a list of stuff I love about the show – and would love to see in fic – with some prompts mixed in. Hope it helps! Basically, give me as much of the show’s “flavor” as you can, and I’ll be happy.

My two DNW requests for this canon would be: please ignore everything that happens post-S3 (so if you want to write Maddie/David in the aftermath of their resolving their UST, please go ahead with the canon divergence of your dreams, I bet it’ll be a million times better than canon), and please don’t have secondary characters (Agnes and Herbert, or Maddie and David’s relatives and exes) hijack the story. They can be in it, but I really do want a David/Maddie story, despite the canon sometimes sidelining them due to behind-the-scenes shenanigans.

Prompts/likes:

-all the banter, wordplay, innuendo, puns, comic repetition

-arguments – those long, explosive, funny, overlapping, always hilarious fights they have

-breaking the fourth wall – yes, please. In canon, they often seem to know they’re fictional characters but ones that exist in the real world, with studio lots and such. Do they now know they’re characters in a fanfic of fictional characters that also exist in the real world, or something even more mind-screwy?

-David calling Maddie “blondie blond” – it just makes me laugh – and Maddie calling him “Addison” when angry but “David” when worried or when shit hits the fan

-random cultural nods – off the top of my head, canon referenced Spanish poetry, objectivism, American realist drama, Dr. Seuss, Shakespeare, of course all the Hollywood tropes and genres; go high or low culture, go famous or obscure, even if I don’t know the reference, I want it! Ditto if you decide on a plot that parodies and pays homage to a cultural landmark story (The Silence of the Lambs? Much Ado about Nothing? A Hitchcock movie? Something else?), I’d love it!

-speaking of: I love the pun-tastic episode titles referencing everything under the sun

-all the canon-era detail which both takes me back and jars me with how much things have changed: people smoking in public buildings, seeing someone off at the boarding gate, dial and push-button telephones, VHS rentals, no cellphones/internet, all the 80s fashion and permed hair… Throw it in just for kicks or weave it into the plot (e.g., they’re following someone and only have a paper map and their own faulty sense of direction to help them)

-casefic – I love the silly plots (and chases! All the chases!), which often combine really gruesome outcomes or real violence with slapstick. I’d be especially tickled if you wrote a plot that starts out silly and seemingly innocent (e.g., they get “hired” by a kid who lost their homework) but ends up deadly serious, or vice versa

-I also love the flashes of really dark humor, usually provided by David snarking about plot developments, though my favorite example remains the intro to S3E1, with David assuring his sick mother that they’ll sweep the Emmys, and then they lost big time and we see a title card saying that the mom died on Emmy night. What can I say but: ROFL

-Maddie and David are really pretty terrible detectives, but they always manage to solve the mystery – or a solution falls into their laps – and I’m here for it

-Blue Moon almost never seems to take on actual paying clients – what else might David and Maddie do for much-needed cash? Bodyguards, extras on a movie, professional consultants on a movie (probably a really shlocky, C-grade production being filmed in the middle of nowhere), dance marathon, talent contest…

-all the shippiness before the UST becomes RST – in canon they slow-danced in a bar, they slept side by side on a plane, he’s snuck into her house multiple times when he was in trouble, etc. etc. etc. The sky’s the limit!

-maybe they get together in a different way than in canon and/or they have a relationship that departs from canon? Or how about if they resolve the UST as they do in canon, but then find a way to be both partners and lovers, without getting so wrapped up in what they each think the other one should be that they spoil everything? Basically, could they be mature enough to have a relationship that works for them both, or be friends with benefits, or hell even break up but remain each other’s most important person (and maybe still have sex occasionally)?

-tropes – the canon plays with so many tropes, you could too! Some suggestions: there’s only one bed, undercover as lovers/married/client and bodyguard, waking up married, any variation on Lady and the Tramp you can think of (including David having to pretend he’s a class act while Maddie has to play the slob, for a case or because of a situation with their families or…), they get zapped by a mad scientist they’re surveilling and swap bodies, etc.

-road trip! Oh the possibilities...

-playing Twenty Questions or another game during a boring stakeout, and personal revelations come spilling out

-Maddie’s experience as a model proves key to cracking a case, whether you want to make the whole story a riff on the world of fashion (The Devil Wears Prada parody, anyone?) or use that as a surprise plot point

-they get tangled up (again) in international espionage and go on a globe-trotting adventure, either chasing a MacGuffin or being chased – basically, get them out of Los Angeles and their relative comfort zone, and send them Indiana Jones-ing all over the world

-the show often makes 80s-typical mean jokes about Russia and the Cold War – what if a case took Maddie and David to the Soviet Union in its last years? Give me all the culture clashes, David being obnoxious and Maddie trying to be diplomatic, all the vodka, chases down frozen streets and over the frozen Neva River, dodging the KGB, sneaking around behind the scenes at the Bolshoi or Kirov Ballet and winding up on stage…

-when they visit a “rough” dive bar in S1, there’s a whole scene of David teasing Maddie to show tough-girl attitude, and she quips that she can’t wait till he has to accompany her to a high-society event. Um, yes please!

-they attempt to date like a regular couple, and stuff keeps getting in the way – whether they go to the opera/ballet and a fancy restaurant, or a basketball game and out for beers, or they try a quiet dinner and a movie at home (or all of the above!), canon-like complications keep interrupting. But then again, the ridiculous way they work is what brought them together in the first place. Bonus points if the fish-out-of-water partner ends up getting into the other one’s date-activity of choice, while snarking all the way.

-David has been to Maddie’s house multiple times – including to sleep over, both platonically and not – and they’ve both crashed at the office, but what little we see of David’s place, it seems to be a bachelor pad/hovel with a large yet mysteriously unfurnished living room. Maddie visits David/comes to spend the night/hides out with him from villains, and shenanigans ensue.

-canon often resolves the clash between David’s opportunism, happy-go-luckiness, and cockiness, and Maddie’s gentle idealism, worrywartness, and romanticism, by having David “win.” That can be funny, but what if the plot gave Maddie the right a bit more?

-I’m honestly not that into smut for this pairing - a fade to black, something implied, something referenced, innuendo, maybe brief flashes (heh) of what the characters think about/imagine/remember work much better with the canon’s overall tone, I think.

Likes:

I love pre-canon, canon, post-canon, canon-divergent, and missing-scene stories. I love character-driven and plot-driven stories equally, and I love fics which mix humor and angst/serious business when appropriate for the canon.

I love stories about characters at work and play, group dynamics, family dynamics (including constructed families), professional partnerships, friendships, alliances, rivalries, intimate couples (new lovers/first times as well as long-term/established couples), UST-ridden couples who are not just UST-ridden but connected in other ways too, etc.

I love irony, snark, humor as well as angst arising from the characters rather than the plot crowbaring it in, linear, non-linear, and 5+1 stories, hopeful endings, happy endings, bittersweet endings, worldbuilding, spiky characters who keep their jagged edges and spikiness in adversity as well as when their lives are going well, square-peg-in-round-hole characters, characters who are their own worst enemies as well as those who can get over themselves when the occasion calls for it, characters with conflicting values which may or may not be reconciled/resolved, characters who treat each other with respect and as equals even if they hate/annoy/can’t stand/love to dislike each other.

I especially love workplace stories (this can mean anything from an actual workplace/casefic/procedural setting to anything that revolves around the canon world in which the characters live) in which the characters are competent and dedicated to the job, and while they may not be exactly friends and they may well irritate one another, they still manage to rub along to get the job done and maybe even grow to care about one another (much to their surprise and sometimes reluctance/discomfort). Or, if they can’t get along, show me why not and what’s preventing them from finding common ground.

In terms of ship dynamics, I love (where it fits the characters) banter, competitiveness or antagonism shading into attraction (this tension need not be resolved), oh-god-why-did-it-have-to-be-you-what-did-I-do-to-deserve-this, bickering yet loving couples, faithfulness, characters who are serious about their romantic interests, characters who think they are much better at flirtation than they actually are, characters forced to work together only to prove much more compatible than they initially assumed, fics which mix an exploration of characters’ professional and everyday lives with shipping. A dynamic I cannot resist is shipping a couple who are incompatible in some important way (they are ideological enemies, cop and criminal, spies from opposite sides, one betrayed the other or they betrayed each other), and while they love and want each other they’re also not willing to change sides or surrender/compromise their identity for the other’s benefit, and how they might (or not) make their relationship work anyway.

I don’t have any very specific likes for smut, other than smut fitting the characters – show me how their canon dynamics spill over into the bedroom (or other place of congress). I also like sexual scenarios that subvert expectations a little and surprise the characters themselves (e.g., the person who’s usually quiet or more passive taking charge, the more aggressive person goes with it possibly snarking or commenting on it as long as they can). And I like sexual scenarios that contain an element of competition, antagonism, oh-god-this-is-a-bad-idea-but-we’re-going-for-it-hammer-and-tongs, not wanting to admit feelings or show vulnerability except oops it happens anyway, whether the characters acknowledge it or not, or just people getting way more into it or being more affected by it than they thought they would. When it fits the characters and their canon dynamic, you also can’t go wrong with we-both-wanted-this-for-forever-and-now-we-both-know-it-so-here-we-go-diving-in-headfirst. For het and/or slash, oral, vaginal, anal incl. pegging, manual (ifyouknowwhatImean) – it’s all good. You can go as veiled or as explicit as you like, but please avoid excessive medical jargon – I don’t find a lot of mention of “penis” or “clit” sexy.

DNWs:

MPREG, A/B/O, knotting, D/s, kinks, incest, underage, genderswap/genderbent characters, xeno, non-/dub-con, torture and abuse (this and non-/dub-con can be mentioned if the story needs it, but please don’t dwell on it in loving detail or subject any of my requested characters to it), dwelling on bodily fluids (mentions of gore/blood and come are fine), toilet humor, character bashing, issuefic, gender/sexuality/race/ethnicity/religion/ability/identity headcanons, unrequested ships, soulmates and soul marks, major character death (unless it’s canon), serious illness or injury, pregnancy and children, holiday or wedding setting/theme, secondary characters shipping the main pair like it’s their job, reference to RL current events, 1st/2nd person POV, AUs which have nothing to do with canonf

#dear author letter #fandom 5k fic exchange

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brainfoodgp · 8 years ago

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Brain Food Garden Project Blog February/2017

“If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.” –Cicero-

Reading has been important to me from my earliest childhood memory. My grandmother taught me to read when I was very young and gave me my first “big boy” series of books, 9 lovely stories of early prairie life starting with Little House in the Big Woods, as a gift when I graduated kindergarten. My first and lasting literary memory is of a little Laura Ingalls playing a game of throwing a hot pigs bladder, like a ball with other children, after the seasonal slaughter and preserving of the pig of course. Now that’s a memory you want sticking with you for the rest of your life…right?

When you are bullied as a child for being different or not behaving exactly the same way everyone else behaves you look for any means of escape. You don’t at eight years old identify diving with the Nautilus for deep sea adventures or escaping pirates on Treasure Island as a “wellness tool.” However, at 44 when you are waving your wand around at a Death Eater for let’s hypothetically say the millionth time, reading the Harry Potter series, it is probably time to make the connection…OK!

All joking aside, the importance of reading for me is one of my most important wellness tools. And that is why this month’s feature section is a short list for some of the books that keep me going or informed me in some way or that I discovered at that perfect moment in time. In “Notes From The Resistance” this month, we continue to share some important and relevant news stories about the current state of our democracy. And who says a healthy meal can’t be decadent. One of or BFGP gardening family members brought this Cauliflower Crust Grilled Cheese Sandwich to our attention. Every time I make it I’ll thank Ruth Gendreau Bennett and trust me when I say you will too. Whatever you read in the coming months I hope you are entertained, educated or inspired to change the world to make it a better place. Happy reading.

The BFGP Feature:

So many books so little time. These are a list of books that I have been reading since the election in November until now. Next month I will bring back the “What I’m Reading” section but all of these books listed in this feature are books that literally have helped keep me focused and have worked their magic to keep me mentally healthy.

In A First-Rate Madness: Uncovering the Links Between Leadership and Mental Illness by Dr. Nassir Ghaemi a book I read several years ago that I picked up and started re reading after the outcome of the election. This amazing read helped to prepare me for what was to come with the new leader of the free world being a fascist authoritarian. Dr. Ghaemi breaks down the leadership styles of many historical figures to showcase how their mental health concerns, if there had been such a diagnosis in their time, contributed or hindered their leadership styles. It is a fascinating read that covers Lincoln to Kennedy and Gandhi to Hitler.

Long before my hero Khizr Khan offered to loan the fascist his copy of The United States Constitution at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia. I myself have been carrying around my own copy of the Constitution for years. There is no better sword for fighting ignorance in those that probably haven’t read the document since high school government class. You want to argue why our founding father’s wanted to build a “Christian nation” let me slap you down with their own words. You don’t understand why the fascists contempt and suppression of our free press is Unconstitutional please let me introduce you to Amendment 1 of the Bill of Rights. You think all Americans should have the right to bare semi-automatic weapons let me introduce you to the actual second amendment. I can’t help but feel if more Americans carried around a copy of the US Constitution instead of a gun we all might be better off for it.

Books have always had this magical way of finding me just when I am at my lowest and always in the most unexpected ways. In this scenario picking up a book from my mother’s bookshelf that I had never read and sent her as a Mother’s Day gift. Relationships between mothers and sons can often be challenging even difficult. However, add a Christian fundamentalist mother to a gay, bipolar activist son and life is often combustible. The Rainbow Comes and Goes by: Anderson Cooper and his mom Gloria Vanderbilt entered my life at the perfect time. Although their story is far different than my mothers and my story. It made me realize that even the best mother and son relationships have limitations. It is how we deal with those limitations that make us stronger.

The Book of Joy By: His Holiness the Dali Lama and the Archbishop Desmond Tutu was a gift from a friend waiting for me after the long holiday break. Reading their discussions and breakdown of the 8 pillars of joy helped me through a growing depression that could have gotten much worse. The four pillars of the mind: perspective, humility, humor and acceptance and the four pillars of the heart: forgiveness, gratitude, compassion and generosity continues to heal me every day. One of the books greatest teachings that I am still processing is you cannot truly have forgiveness unless you are fully capable of total acceptance of things you have absolutely no control over.

Gardening as everyone reading this blog knows is one of my greatest wellness tools it is the very foundation that Brain Food Garden Project is built on. Starting my first two Farm School classes in January and February—Food Justice and Botany opened up many lines of questions for me. The reading material that accompanied each class opened my eyes to new ideas and concepts that I had been thinking about for a long time but provided answers in a completely different context. Beyond the Kale: Urban Agriculture and Social Justice Activism in New York City By: Kristen Reynolds and Nevin Cohen, Symbiotic Planet: A New Look At Evolution By: Lynn Margulis, Botany for Gardeners By: Brian Capon and A Botanist’s Vocabulary By: Susan K. Pell and Bobbi Angell. I am grateful to the teachers that provided these resources, answered my questions and inspired many more questions that only I can answer for myself.

One of the reasons I love gardening so much is its ability to make us all more mindful. I have been revisiting a book I read many years ago in preparation to introducing the material to my garden club members this season at ACMH. The book Digging Deep: Unearthing Your Creative Roots Through Gardening By: Fran Sorin. This lovely book with wonderful exercises helped me to envision my best self at a time I needed it most. Now I’ll see if Sorin’s message will inspire others.

Reading has brought me greater empathy for others, a deeper understanding of my true inner self and immense joy and pleasure throughout my life. During dark and difficult times books have lifted me up making it easy to embrace reading as a cherished tool for recovery. If any of the books I discussed here find their way onto your reading list drop me a message and let me know about your thoughts. I started this writing with the line so many books so little time. I plan on getting through as many wonderful books as I can before I take my final breath! Reading truly brings me infinite joy.

Notes From The Resistance:

So we are 15 weeks in and the fascist authoritarian party (formally known as Republicans) have been busy. They have enacted an un Constitutional ban on Muslim immigrants and citizens in many cases. They have ended protections in schools to stop bullying and keep our Transgender kids protected. They are working overtime to kill The Affordable Care Act taking vital insurance or limiting resources for some 20 million Americans. These are some stories from the front lines over the past month. We must never normalize any of this hatred we must keep fighting and resist.

1.) The regime still continues to attack science any way they can… Click here

2.) Many of us living with mental health concerns cringe a little when we hear people refer to the fascist leader as mentally ill. This article sums up those feelings… Click here

3.) The protests over the fascists police state immigration round up continues as “detention” camps and private prisons profit… Click here

4.) The big Agriculture farmers that voted for the fascist are starting to have doubts over his leadership… Cick here

5.) Guns let’s put them in the hands of our most vulnerable citizens sound like a good idea?… Click here

Healthy & Delicious Recipes:

When I curl up with a good book on a rainy afternoon nothing makes the day even more perfect than sipping and munching two of my childhood favorites a cup of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich! You know cauliflower is one of my favorite brain foods and this recipe for a Cauliflower Crusted Grilled Cheese Sandwich is going to become one of your favorites, trust me.

Ingredients

Makes 2 grilled cheese sandwiches

Cauliflower crust “bread” slices

1 small head cauliflower, cut into small florets (should yield 3 cups of cauliflower rice)

1 free-range organic egg, lightly beaten

½ cup / 1.7 oz / 50 gr shredded mozzarella cheese

½ teaspoon fine grain sea salt

¼ teaspoon ground black pepper

Grilled cheese

1 tablespoon butter, room temperature

⅓ cup / 3 oz / 85 gr sharp cheddar cheese, grated/shredded, room temperature

Directions

Cauliflower crust “bread” slices

Preheat oven to 450°F (220°C) and place a rack in the middle.

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and liberally grease it with olive oil. Set aside.

In a food processor rice the cauliflower florets (it should be evenly chopped but not completely pulverized).

Transfer cauliflower rice (about 3 cups) to a microwave-safe dish and microwave on high for 8 minutes, until cooked.

Place the cauliflower rice in a tea towel and twist it to squeeze as much moisture as you can (I usually squeeze out over a cup of liquid). This is very important. The cauliflower rice needs to be dry, otherwise you’ll end up with mushy dough, impossible to use as slices of bread.

Transfer the cauliflower rice to a mixing bowl, add egg, mozzarella, salt and pepper and mix well.

Spread cauliflower mixture onto the lined baking sheet and shape into 4 square.

Place in the oven and bake for about 16 minutes until golden.

Remove and let cool 10 minutes before peeling them off the parchment paper (be careful not to break them!)

Assemble cauliflower crust grilled cheese

Heat a pan over medium heat.

Butter one side of each slice of cauliflower crust bread (preferably the top part).

Place one slice of bread in the pan, buttered side down, sprinkle on the cheese and top with the remaining slice of cauliflower crust bread, buttered side up.

Turn the heat down a notch and cook until golden brown, about 2 to 4 minutes.

Gently flip and cook until golden brown on the other side, about 2 to 4 minutes.

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dailyaudiobible · 8 years ago

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01/13/2017 DAB Transcript

Genesis 28:1-29:35 ~ Matthew 9:18-38 ~ Psalm 11:1-7 ~ Proverbs 3:11-12

Today is the 13th of January. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I'm Brian and it is a pleasure to be here with you for the 13th day in a row this year. If you can believe it. We’re almost two weeks in and it has been an epic adventure so far as we take steps each day through the scriptures. Today will be no different. Abraham sent his servant to find Isaac a wife among his people and now Isaac is going to invite his son Jacob to do the same. Genesis chapter 28, verse 1 through 29, verse 35 today and we’re reading from the Common English Bible this week.

Commentary

Let's do just a quick recap so we can stay with the story. You remember Abram and you remember how he became Abraham and you remember that he had a son of promise named Isaac. And you remember Abraham was getting old and he sent his most trusted and close servant to find a wife for his son. He makes him swear an oath. “Put your hand under my thigh and swear to me.” This is a little weird. We don’t do that anymore, but that is one of the signs that you are promising to do something in this culture at this time. So Rebekah is found, brought back to Isaac and they love each other and they have twin boys, Jacob and Esau. We’ve just gone through all that, so we won't recap that, but Jacob and Esau are estranged from each other because there has been some trickery that has gone on.

If you look back at Abram's life, you’ll see he was a little bit of a finagler too. He was always saying my wife is my sister and this kind of stuff and they were moving around and this was part of their characteristics. Isaac is the same way and does the same thing so you can see they are a little bit of a suspicious people. They are always on the lookout for ways that they can get hurt or put themselves in danger, which was part of the culture and just part of their characteristics. So we begin to understand some of the trickery that got turned inward on the family between Jacob and Esau.

Jacob has secured the birthright and the blessing of his father, Isaac, through some trickery and when Jacob gets back to the same family where his mother had come from, some trickery is played on him. He falls in love with Rachel and gets Leah as a wife instead. And then to get Rachel, he has to work another seven years. He didn’t work for Laban for seven years and then get Leah and then work seven more years for Rachel. Rachel was given him, but he had to promise another seven years.

So Rachel doesn’t have any kids yet, but Leah has four sons. If you look at their names, they will start sounding familiar. I’ll give a little spoil alert here because it will snap everything into place as we move forward. Jacob, this guy, the grandson of Abraham, is going to have a name change just like Abram was turned to Abraham. Jacob is going to have the same thing happen and his name will be turned to Israel. So Jacob has begun having children and when his name changes, then the obvious will come to the forefront. These are the children of Israel. The first four ever children of Israel are born in today's reading: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah. And Israel, or Jacob, is going to have 12 sons and their descendants will be the 12 tribes of Israel. It will be a fascinating story that brings us to that place.

Then when we move into the book of Matthew and we pick up Jesus’ story. We see a number of miraculous things take place today. Let's look at them just really quickly.

Jesus is on his way to a man's house because his daughter has died. A woman has been bleeding (and we’ll get to her story in a different gospel because it is expanded upon) and she touches Jesus and she is healed. What is Jesus’ response to her? “Your faith has healed you.” That is what he said to her.

And then he arrives at his destination where this girl has died and he tells everybody who is mourning there to go away, she is not dead. And they all laugh at him, but the important thing or the interesting thing is he sent everybody away so she is raised up to health without an audience. Jesus pushes them all away. We see that Jesus just does not grandstand. He is not trying to make a big deal out of these things. That is further illuminated by what he does next.

The next thing in the gospel reading today is that Jesus is leaving there and there are blind people, blind men following him, asking for mercy. When Jesus speaks to the blind men, he asks a question. “Do you believe I can do this?” And they said “yes.” And Jesus’ response is “It will happen for you just as you have believed.” And they were healed. And then Jesus says “Don’t tell anybody about this.” Of course, they can’t. They go tell everybody.

But it is interesting the way Jesus is conducting himself. Number one, we see that he is collaborative in the miraculous, that it is not Jesus, the super guy, the God-man walking around doing supernatural magic tricks. It is a collaboration that is taking place. These are certainly beautiful echoes of Eden, the way things were supposed to be, the collaboration between God and those who were made in God's image. This is what sets things right because this is how we were created to be. It's also interesting that Jesus doesn’t need a crowd. He's not trying to be the magic man. He is trying to say this is how it is supposed to be.

So one of these transformational moments in the Bible has come where we begin to realize this is a journey that we are not alone on and this life journey will not work without collaborating with God. But when we do, when we give our hearts fully, when we put away all Plan B’s and stop trying to explain away everything with reason, the knowledge of good and evil, and just fall face first into this faith that is the activator, then we begin to see how this collaboration works.

It is breathtaking. It will look different for each of us. We each have our own stories to tell. If you are here at the beginning of the year thinking ‘I need to go inside and figure out my spirituality and I'm going to read the whole Bible this year and find out about God,’ awesome! You will. But it is far, infinitely more important that you get to know God and not just about God. If it has been awhile since you’ve even thought about that and your whole idea of prayer is kind of skewed in some sort of way that you have to find the right words and the right time and you don’t know what to say after a few minutes of asking him to do things that you need done and to do nice things for people that are around you, then set that aside and understand that it is a collaboration, that it is a conversation. Don’t go to God today with all the things you need him to do for you, to bail you out of all the things you got yourself into. Just go to him today and say “Hi, it's me and I just want to talk to you.” You’ll find the warmth of his embrace because he's been waiting for you to just finally come and be yourself. All of a sudden you’ll realize you can be yourself.

We have to be a lot of things to a lot of people in our lives because this is how our culture is shaped, but we can be who we really are with God and God can change us into who we were created to be but only if we’re willing to be who we are right now.

Prayer

Jesus, hi. It's me. It's us in an unguarded moment and here we are. What we need is you. So there will not be any more pretending in any of our conversations. It will be raw and it will be true. We invite your Holy Spirit into all of it, everything that is going on. As we realize that this is what you’ve been looking for, this true, honest place in us. We have to confess that we have many assumptions about who and what you are, but if we’re going to be in a relationship that is conversational and collaborative, then we’re setting that aside as well and inviting you to come as you are. We want to get to know you for who you are and not who we’ve been told you are. So just about a couple of weeks into this journey of finding what the Bible has to say to us, but we’re finding this journey is leading us to these kinds of places that are deep and ancient and true. We invite you into all of that, inviting your Holy Spirit to reinterpret our stories and wh has brought us to this place on this day. There isn’t another day in our future that we don’t want a conversation with you. We’ve been lost in our knowledge. We’ve been lost in trying to figure you out and now we want to be lost in you. Come Holy Spirit. We pray in Jesus’ name, amen.

SONG played on today's DAB "Lost" by Brian's wife Jill Parr https://itunes.apple.com/…/a…/i-still-want-more/id1107237770

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wierdogal · 8 years ago

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Through the Vortex (Chapter 9)

Summary: Set right after Belle banished Rumple at the end of 4A. The TARDIS takes the Doctor and Clara to the boundaries of Storybrooke, just in time to save an old friend. With nowhere to turn to, Rumplestiltskin prepares himself to live a new life. But can he really just forget the one he was forced to leave behind?

In this chapter, Rumple asked for some advice and immediately regrets voicing it out while the Doctor realizes that somethings never change when it comes to his friend.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

Also in AO3, FFN

Chapter 9

The beauty of a time machine is that when you are faced with a decision...you can actually stop and get away from it...have some distractions like alien invasions and mind controlling insects plus salt and pepper shaker shaped aliens firing death rays at you.

And then be brought back maybe after a minute has gone by so you can make the decision you would have pondered months over.

Well that was how Clara had put it when she had cornered Rumple again while walking the halls of the TARDIS.

But the things was, in the end they were going to run into a dead end and they had no other choice but to head home.

Clara had her students...frankly Rumple even had his job. They had to return...the only problem was Rumple still didn't know what to do.

He didn't want to ignore Belle outright. She may have banished him from Storybrooke but he could never really deny her of anything...even now.

And even now, after a few more adventures with the Doctor and Clara...he still didn't know what to do.

It was unfair to ask Clara to put on hold her life while he was too incompetent to decide what to do with the whirlwind that Brian had emailed him. But knowing the woman, she wouldn't head back to earth without him.

Rumple sighed and leaned back on the railings of the empty TARDIS console room. The Doctor had disappeared to who knows where and Clara was taking a shower after the dust of the last planet had basically stuck to their clothes.

"Any advice?" asked Rumple aloud, knowing fully well that the chances of the TARDIS replying was slim to none. Oh he knew the police box was alive in her own sense...but he has never interacted with her before.

"Voice interface enabled."

Rumple shot to his feet as a hologram materialized near the TARDIS console. A figure he thought he would never see again…

"Bae?"

"I am not Baelfire. I am a voice interface." replied the hologram of his deceased son blankly, looking the same as the day he died. Rumple knew he should have quelled that hope in his chest the minute he had turned around.

Rumple cleared his throat, willing himself to not shed the tears that were already threatening to fall from his eyes.

"I…"

"You require my assistance," said the hologram.

"Not like this," replied Rumple blankly as he descended the steps to stand in front of the hologram of his son.

"Do you wish me to take a different form?" asked Baelfire and it was unsettling for an image of his son to speak like that. "I usually take form of someone who is admired and-"

"I'd actually prefer the Doctor," began Rumple. "Any of them, take your pick."

"But you won't listen to them as much as you'd listen now to this form," replied the interface and Rumple studied the hologram. He should never have underestimated the TARDIS...because what the hologram had just said rang true. He would have listened and done whatever Bae had asked him to do...except for that one night with the bean and-

"Rumple?"

Rumple's eyes widened as the new voice rang through the room. "No, please, anyone but her...I can't-"

Rumple collapsed to the floor on his knees, his tears already running down his face as the interface, now in the form of Belle walked closer to him. "Please...anyone else-"

"What about this form?"

Rumple's head shot up as the voice of his grandson filled the room. Henry was looking at him curiously...the same expression that he had worn whenever he encountered a trinket in the shop. His eyes...so very much like his father, looking at him as though he was the most interesting thing in the room.

"I'm sensing this form is far acceptable than the other two," said the hologram in Henry's voice and Rumple sighed. Seeing Henry was...different. It didn't bring the failure he felt when seeing Bae and the hurt when it was Belle...seeing Henry, felt...Rumple didn't have any word for it. It just felt different.

"What are you supposed to be again, I'm sorry I didn't catch the first part," said Rumple, straightening up and rubbing away the tears that had fallen.

"I am an interface, enabled by your request earlier," replied Henry and it was very weird hearing the teenger talk like that. "You requested for my assistance."

Rumple snorted and walked to the console. "Unless you can tell me what to do with Belle's email, I doubt-"

"You asked for advice," interrupted holo-Henry and Rumple turned to it.

"And do you have any?" asked Rumple, his voice surprisingly gentle...as though he was resigned to whatever-

"What are you afraid of?"

The question threw him off and Rumple should have learned by now that the TARDIS was always full of surprises. "Everything."

"You're not a coward," replied holo-Henry, his voice surprisingly sounding like the real boy. "You don't run away...you run to save the people you care about."

"It's still running," replied Rumple with a sigh.

"Running is an act," said holo-Henry, eyeing him closely. "The reasons behind the act, that is what's important." He paused and turned to Rumplestiltskin. "What is your reason?"

"Reason for what?" asked Rumple, confused.

"People act and think of the reason to justify said act later...maybe you should think of the reason first before you decide on what to do," said holo-henry and Rumple was surprised...because that was an advice...a pretty sound one too.

"I gues…" began Rumple, looking away from the holographic image of his grandson. "I guess I want to say a proper goodbye...I want to-I have to…" He paused to met holo-Henry's eyes. "I have to let her go."

"And what's the best way to do that?" asked holo-Henry.

Rumple sighed and nodded. "Helping her one last time."

xXx

The Doctor and Clara had stayed in the hall just outside the console room, listening to the exchange. Clara had pointed out that the voice interface had taken the form of Rumple's grandson.

"Are you sure this was what he needed?" asked Clara as they watched the exchange.

"Contrary to popular belief...I do not control the TARDIS," replied the Doctor. "She has a mind and consciousness of her own."

And Rum had asked for some advice and the TARDIS would always lend a hand to the people who asked for help….even those within her walls

The Doctor wasn't really surprised. Ever since they had met the young magician, the TARDIS had always showed a soft spot to the young boy then man then Dark One. Even with the glittering scales and crocodile image, the TARDIS liked Rumple...hell, anyone was bound to like rumple. They just had to unearth the side of him that was buried in all the man's walls.

When Rum had said that the best way to let go of Belle was to help her one last time, the Doctor and Clara both sighed. That was the best course of action but Rumple was hesitatnt to do so, mainly because of them.

Clara and the Doctor but understood that Rumple was hesitant because he was scared of what they would think. That maybe this act of helping Belle would look like he wanted to leave them...but Clara and the Doctor knew that it wasn't the case at all.

Rumple and holo-Henry where now talking about the other times the TARDIS voice interface was activated and more of what the TARDIS was capable of and the Doctor smiled. Rumple was always a curios lad and having a hologram form of the TARDIS to talk to opened the flood gates of questions the sorcerer had for the ageold time machine.

"Safe to say he's going to be occupied for a while," said Clara, turning to her room. "I'm going to get some sleep. Wake me when we're heading somewhere."

"Home?" asked the Doctor.

"Anywhere, as long as Rum's ok," replied Clara and she smiled before heading to her room to retire.

The Doctor watched her go and sighed. He could hear the voice interface and Rumple continue talking in the other room and the Doctor coudln't help but grin at the mention of long colorful scarfs that Rumplestiltskin had made for him…

xXx

The Doctor had never really seen Market Day in the Enchanted Forest...until now. It was such a site to behold with all the different merchnats selling their trade. Farmers, fisherman, spinners and the like with even some dwelling in magic and selling potions.

The Doctor wanted to grab a few vials and study the sceintific properties of their so-called elixirs when a group of young boys running around caught his attention. They all ran towards one of the spinner stalls.

"Come on Rumple! I'm sure the ladies can spare you for a while."

"We need your brains for a game!"

"Please Rum!"

The boy he had expected to not be able to recognize turned to his two guardians who smiled at him had grown taller since the last time he had seen him but his face was still that of the boy he had found lost in the forest what seemed like a lifetime ago.

Rum joined the other boys running around the market but as they ran past him, Rumple stopped in his tracks and turned to him. The Doctor gave the boy a smile, knowing fully well that the boy would recognize him given any face but his age-mates all but dragged him and the Doctor could only watch as Rum looked his way before running with his friends.

The Doctor headed for the stall. He promised himself that he would just check-in and not dally, that he would just talk to the ladies and leave…

"We're all out sir," began the blonde spinner but she stopped short when she saw the long colorful scarf the Doctor was wearing.

"Oh now I understand why Rumple looked at you strangely," came the voice of the raven haired spinner. "Suits you Doctor."

"Rumple must have been surprised to see you actually wearing what he had made, especially when it was that long and colorful," added the blonde spinner with a smile. "Come to ask about his well being and up and leave again Doctor?"

"Now, now-"

"Oh come off it, you've tried it twice and it didn't go well, now did it?"

The Doctor sighed. "Yes, well this time I have to keep that little promise. How is he?"

"An amazing boy growing up way too fast for my liking," replied the raven head spinner. "He's such a wonderful lad that I can't believe that his bastard of a father could just leave him like that...he's son is the most amazing boy in the whole realm!"

"Now, now," began the blonde spinner. "We've promised not to mention that name ever again, Rumple might come back and hear us."

"I'm glad he's doing well," mentioned the Doctor.

The two women turned to each other then back at the Doctor with a curious look. "I'm sensing you want more than that answer Doctor."

The Doctor sighed. He hadn't mentioned his little theory to the ladies that Rumple might have the ability to control the energy in his surroundings...or maybe in their terms, the lad has magic.

"It was nice to see the two of you again," said the Doctor. "I'll try and check in soon."

The expression on the two ladies' face spoke volumes but they did not press him further as he turned on his heel and left.

The Doctor hoped the TARDIS would cooperate and he sighed when he found the familiar blue box just where he left it. It's not he didn't want to see Rumple...but each time he visited the lad, the Doctor feared that the request would come.

And of course as Rumple grew older, it was only inevitable for the boy to ask..to realize what the Doctor could do for him.

"You shouldn't really park her in the middle of a clearing," came the voice behind him and the Doctor turned to see Rumple looking at him sadly. "Anyone could just come and take her, you know."

The Doctor offered him a smile but the boy didn't return the gesture. "You were going to leave without talking to me…"

"Oh Rumple it's not that-"

"Everyone leaves…" whispered Rumple before he turned to run the opposite direction. The Doctor seeing the tears that were already falling and he didn't hesitate. He got into the TARDIS and she dematerialized.

Rumple heard her leave and he just ran faster...that was until the sound surrounded him and he stopped and was amazed at how he was suddenly in the TARDIS herself.

"I'm sure the ladies have mentioned that walking out on someone is very rude, Rumplestiltskin." said the Doctor as he pulled down a lever and Rumple just looked at him. The Doctor walked to the doors, opened them and sat down on the edge. Rumple being curious, followed him and almost fell to the TARDIS floor at the view…

They were floating over the market and Rumple could just see the many stalls and people going about their business, unaware of the floating box above them. The Doctor was dangling his legs over the edge and...it looked dangerous but who was Rumple kidding, this was the Doctor.

"Come sit Rumple," said the Doctor, motioning for him to sit next to him. "We won't fall, the TARDIS will prevent us from going overboard."

Rumple shakingly went over and settled next to the Doctor, noticing how his long scarf flew in the wind. "You kept it."

"Of course I kept it," said the Doctor with a bright smile. "You made it for me. So when I had to pick a new attire for this new face, I knew I had to include the scarf that the spinner Rumplestiltskin made for me."

"I'm not a spinner...well yet," replied Rumple blankly. "I'm just a boy."

"A remarkable boy from what I'm hearing," replied the Doctor. "Now...I suppose I have upset you with up and just leaving without even saying a proper hello and goodbye-let me finish."

Rumple was about to speak when the Doctor cut him off. The boy surprised but his sudden tone of voice and so he remained quiet.

"You have every right to be upset, Rumple," admitted the Doctor. "I shouldn't have done that...I tried before and she intervened-I should have learned my lesson by now."

"Why were you going to do then?" asked Rumple, his voice low and barely above a whisper.

"It's because I was scared, Rumple," admitted the Doctor, meeting the boy's gaze. "I was scared to disappoint you."

"You would never disappoint me, Doctor," said Rumple, a little surprised at the Doctor's reason. "Why would you even think that?"

"What does the TARDIS stand for Rumple?" asked the Doctor and Rumple thought that he was trying to distract him but he didn't want to upset the older man and so he answered.

"Time and Relative Dimension in Space."

"And what can it do?"

Rumple opened his mouth to answer when it hit him. "Oh Doctor, I won't ask for you to change my life."

"You won't?" asked the Doctor, a little surprised that the boy understood him easily.

"My father made his choice," said Rumple sadly, his voice lowering once again. "He sent me away and that what was he had wanted...I won't force him to do anything else." He paused and looked down at the market. "I have a good life...the two ladies have been more of a family to me than…" Rumple paused as tears threatened to fall from his eyes once again.

The Doctor wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulders. "He made a bad decision Rumple."

Rumple remained quiet, clingy to the other man.

"I meant what I said," continued the Doctor, looking at the boy. "You are a very remarkable boy...willing to sacrifice your own happiness for the happiness of the people around you, even if they don't deserve it." He paused. "Your father may think he's happy without you in his life, his choice but he's very wrong."

He offered the boy a smile as brown eyes rose to meet his own. "And we're not going to help him realize his mistake...let him live in his regret of sending away the most brilliant and amazing boy in the whole universe."

"I'm not-"

"Oh yes you are," said the Doctor, his smile brightening even more. "No one else could make a scarf like this and not be just as amazing as his creation."

Rumple smiled slightly and the Doctor counted that as a victory.

xXx

"So you've decided then?" asked the Doctor as he returned to the console room to see Rumple sitting on one of the steps leading up to the higher levels.

Rumple sighed and did not meet the Doctor's gaze. "She sent me away and that what was she had wanted...I won't force her to do anything else." began Rumple, still not meeting his gaze but just looking at the time column.

"It was her choice," finished the Doctor for him, remembering the same lines from Rumplestiltskin all those years ago. "I think it's my turn to say the phrase 'I heard that before' Rum."

Rumple chuckled slightly before finally meeting his eye. "I have said that before haven't I?"

"Yes," replied the Doctor, walking over to sit next to the sorcerer. "Though I'd never imagine that your Belle would be equated to that monster of a man you called father."

"I called him Papa, not father," tried Rumple and the Doctor just glared at his feeble attempt to lighten the mood.

"So what happens now?"

"You could drop us back at the flat...maybe an hour after we left?" asked Rumple and the Doctor nodded.

"And then?"

"And then I'll email her the translation...and that will be the end of it," said Rumple with a sigh, a lone tear falling from one eye as he bowed his head to look at the floor. "She's made her choice...she wants me out of her life and I've been a little stupid for not accepting that...for even hoping that there was a chance-"

"Rumple, it's not stupid for you to hope that you could fix your marriage," said the Doctor. "I would have done the same thing."

"That I can imagine," said Rumple earning him a glare from the Doctor. "If you've found the right person I guess...I remember you said you basically ran away after marrying Queen Elizabeth."

"How do you even know who Queen Elizabeth is?" asked the Doctor.

"I'm Scottish," argued Rumple with a cheeky grin.

"Cursed self does not count," shot back the Doctor.

"And regenerating into a Scottish man does?" argued Rumple with a raised eyebrow and he barely dodged the book thrown his way as he lost himself in a fit of laughter.

"Alright you've had your fun," said the Doctor, helping him to his feet. "For what it's worth, I think you're making the right decision."

"Thank you," replied Rumple as he straightened his clothes. "I guess I have to ask Clara for help in finding a decent flat to move in."

"Or you could just move into the TARDIS permanently," offered the Doctor. "Could use the company, besides Clara of course."

"You are going to regret that," said the woman in question as she strolled into the console room. "Besides Rum prefers living with me."

"He just said he wanted to move out," argued the Doctor.

"That is not what he said," replied Clara.

"That was exactly what he said," fired back the Doctor and they continued to argue as Rumple just watched their usual antics with a smile on his face.

Belle had made her choice and he was making his own. If Belle found her happiness in Storybrooke, well Rumple seemed to be finding it inside the TARDIS with the two bickering people inside.

#rumbelle #rumplestiltskin #Doctor Who #Twelfth Doctor #Clara Oswald #fourth doctor #ouat x dw crossover #wierdo writes #fic updates #Through the Vortex

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theconservativebrief · 6 years ago

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Gettin’ the Band Together, now playing on Broadway at the Belasco Theatre, is an original musical about a down-and-out stockbroker who gets his high school band back together in time to face off against his old rival in his New Jersey hometown’s Battle of the Bands.

That’s it. That’s the whole show. On paper, it sounds pretty boring: a stockbroker? An all-dude rock band? From Jersey? Is this really what the world needs in 2018?

But I suspected there must have been some reason that in this age of high-glitz adaptations of movies and other blockbusters, this unassuming original rock musical had struggled its way from a small-town Jersey stage to Broadway, and so I set out for the Belasco hoping to find magic and wisdom and a reflection of the self, or at the very least a fun evening.

The onstage story of Gettin’ the Band Back Together is a basic battle of good and evil — of following dreams versus settling for mundanity — playing out in song and dance. As a fellow theatergoer who’d already seen the show described it, it’s basically the movie Dodgeball but with rock music. And that’s not a bad thing, unless you hate fun.

Gettin’ the Band Back Together is a warm, infectious delight. Yes, it’s true that the show has been prominently panned because its shamelessly tropey plot is packed with dorky, improv-style humor that constantly pelts you with silly jokes, visual gags, cheesy puns, physical comedy, and references to other rock musicals. But it works anyway, because it’s performed with deep joy, it’s extremely well-sung, and it’s delivered with charm by an ensemble having the time of their lives. If you let all of these things speak to you, as you should, then at some point during the performance, you will inevitably reach that wonderful moment where you are laughing purely because you are laughing.

It’s this feeling that illustrates what ultimately made a lasting impression on me as I alternately laughed and cringed my way through the show: not the onstage battle between bands, but an offstage one. The musical that Gettin’ the Band Back Together is trying to be is distinctly at odds with the current Broadway culture — embodied by an unmoved audience at the performance I attended — that unfairly expects it to be something more.

The truth is that Gettin’ the Band Back Together is a delightful show. But even if it weren’t, I would be writing this review with my heart on my sleeve to tell you all to go see it, because it’s one of those musicals that earnestly strives to be exactly what it is: a good-hearted, shamelessly self-indulgent trope factory built on fun and silliness. And in this age of problematic faves and anxiety-laden media consumption, this show, practically wholesome in its throwback juvenilia, is the rare offering that isn’t going to make you feel bad for liking it — even though it’s inane.

In that spirit, it’s reminiscent of another recent tropey, heartwarming cultural offering: Netflix’s To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. On some level, Gettin’ the Band Back Together is the movie’s Broadway equivalent — a sort of To All the Bands (or Least Rock Musicals) I’ve Loved Before. So what if its storyline is familiar? So what if it openly embraces every clichéd tale of down-and-out has-beens getting their groove back? Just like To All the Boys, its execution is solid, and its cast is charismatic. In essence, it’s a “cheesy cover band” equivalent of a rock musical. And that’s perfectly fine; after all, there’s a reason people love cheesy cover bands.

Put another way, Gettin’ the Band Back Together is one giant dad joke, if your dad were still a kid at heart, and that kid was a giant Nickelodeon fan who never got over Ren and Stimpy going downhill after season two, who secretly cried when My So-Called Life ended before Angela and Brian got together, who definitely got drunk at Bonnaroo and wrote “fuck Nickelback” on a fence while stoned; someone who, in adulthood, probably owns a Blu-ray of Drumline because he wants to be close to that movie in a physical way; someone who just wants his kid to be happy and kind and motivated by love rather than by a capitalist reading of the American dream.

The show sports a decently catchy, fun score by Mark Allen, making his Broadway debut. The cast — led by the charmingly winsome Mitchell Jarvis as Mitch, our stockbroker-cum-band reuniter, lover, dreamer, and Alex Brightman impersonator — performs it with loud conviction. But the real star of Gettin’ the Band Back Together is the book, which comes to us via veteran producer Ken Davenport and the improv comedy troupe Grundleshotz, in a literal “Hey, gang! Let’s put on a show!” process. (Among the Grundleshotz improv performers is Jay Klaitz, who doubles as Mitch’s MILF-obsessed, stoner best friend Bart.)

Grundleshotz, Davenport, and Allen have infused Gettin’ the Band Back Together with so much energy that it leaks out of the stage at random moments, punctuating an endless stream of jokes that succeed due to the sheer enthusiasm and dedication of the show’s cast, and to their own shameless silliness.

Writing down the jokes can’t translate their onstage effectiveness as a litany of Dadaist dork humor, but here are a few: There’s a dead cat. There’s a “nuns and roses” quip. There’s an R&B singer who turns love songs into domestic disputes. There’s a character whose only purpose in life is to take selfies. There’s a spray-tanned villain who drives a Pontiac Solstice and just wants to be loved. There’s a love ballad composed entirely of bad puns about police. There’s a running “your mom” gag. There’s every kind of New Jersey in-joke you can wedge into a two-hour running time. There’s a one-liner that’s such a cute, absurdist mix of juvenile humor and randomness that it literally stops the show.

I should repeat that: The songs are solid and fun, but it’s the jokes, not the songs, that you’ll remember.

Taken on their own, the jokes in Gettin’ the Band Back Together are nothing unique or exhilarating, but they work because the cast is so committed to selling them. In fact, I have rarely seen a more committed, joyous ensemble work so hard to win over a dead audience than I did during my Thursday night show. I’ve never seen a cast sing their hearts out with more glee and vibrance in the face of a crowd that clearly rejected the kind of show they were attending. Thank god for my seatmates Tyler and Bradley, who were there to see the show for the second time in a week, and who were living for Gettin’ the Band Back Together the way only we queer Broadway fans living through the homophobic cake years can.

“This is the kind of show I can take my Trump-voting brother to and we’ll bond over it,” Tyler told me before the show started.

“I cried,” Bradley added.

“It’s so dumb,” Tyler gushed to me at intermission. “It’s so dumb, isn’t it amazing?”

This show is so dumb, and it is amazing. It is so funny, so soft and joyous, that during intermission, I texted a friend who refused to come see it with me solely to upbraid her for her mistake. Meanwhile, my betrayer audience sat unmoved by the endless adorkable hilarity playing out in front of them. And every second that the sea of unenthused faces around me refused to be swept along by the ebullient hopes and dreams of a bunch of New Jersey ’90s kids who just wanted to have fun again, I resented not only them but the modern theater industry itself.

After all, only Broadway could build an American musical legacy out of exploiting camp for its cultural mileage, and yet somehow wind up increasingly abandoning ironic forms of entertainment — including “so bad it’s good” enjoyment.

In recent years, Broadway has conditioned audiences to expect either high-budget remakes with canned messages and blatant crowd-pandering (last season’s Spongebob comes to mind) or high-budget sophistication à la Dear Evan Hansen. Hell, even Gettin’ the Band Back Together, with its crop of references to aging rock artists, was designed to appeal to a certain crowd of baby boomers, to its detriment and their apathy.

But at heart, this isn’t a musical for boomers; instead, it represents and caters to the kind of media-savvy fan who fully embraces absurdity and silliness in their pop culture (the sillier, the better). As such, Gettin’ the Band Back Together desperately needs a younger audience, or at least a better older one.

Who were these people sitting around me who refused to show any enthusiasm for a stellar ensemble that served up some of the strongest group vocals I’ve heard since Evan Hansen? Who were these people who sat largely unmoved while our band of heroes rocked a bar mitzvah, reminisced about the roller coasters at Six Flags Great Adventure, and overcame numerous trials and obstacles to not only find love and happiness but receive a deus ex machina from none other than a fictional version of Aerosmith’s Joe Perry?

As it happened, a good portion of my fellow audience members had apparently come to see Gettin’ the Band Back Together because they’d received comped or discounted tickets as part of Broadway deal websites like Show Score. Through these kinds of watch-and-rate deals, some theatergoers — thanks to retirement, or sheer determination — are able to see upward of five shows a week.

That’s great for them, and ostensibly it should be good for shows that open in the summer, like this one. Late-summer Broadway openings tend to be rare for New York, because the tourist crowd doesn’t gravitate toward new releases that don’t already have strong buzz; you need New Yorkers to see those shows, and in August, they’re often away.

So these websites help fill seats during the offseason, which is a win. But it’s easy to see how they can hurt shows like this one, which wind up being viewed by an assembly line of people looking for deals first and feels second. It struck me that while teenage audiences were being encouraged, off-Broadway, to Be More Chill, on 44th Street, the cast of Gettin’ the Band Back Together was pleading with their older, middle-class audience to be less chill. And, miracle of miracles, eventually the audience at my show thawed out; gradually, more and more of them seemed to open their hearts to the silliness and sincerity of this show, its complete lack of irony and pretense, its sheer eagerness to make you laugh.

But they couldn’t have done it without my dudes Bradley and Tyler, whose constant laughter kept the orchestra section on life support all night. Late in the third act, veteran Marilu Henner, who plays Mitch’s mom with brassy warmth, came halfway up the aisle just to film the two of them — cast members breaking the fourth wall to film the audience is not an infrequent practice on Broadway these days, but rarely is it done with such specificity — as they lost their minds over the big finale number, when Mitch and the band finally play the Battle of the Bands. It’s exciting!

I was happy for them both, these pure-hearted theater lovers receiving a pure-hearted musical blessing, and feeding all their love and energy back to this hard-working, earnest cast. That is what we come to the theater for. That is Broadway at its core, stripped of size and massive budgets and pretension, until all that remains is love and communion.

At intermission, I’d overheard one of the comped five-show-a-week people say, with a shrug, “Maybe it’ll run for a few weeks.”

Fuck that.

Go see Gettin’ the Band Back Together. Enter with love and leave with laughter. May it, and all the other plucky, misunderstood musicals of its ilk, run forever.

Original Source -> Why critics are scorning new rock musical Gettin’ the Band Back Together — and why it deserves your love

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

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maczazind · 8 years ago

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FILM DIARY 2017: April AKA"The Month with Dwayne Johnson & True Stories"

The summer blockbuster season has officially arrived as April showers make way for May flowers. But in that showery month came a handful of interesting films as well. April surprisingly found myself not only accidentally focusing on stories that were based on real life events but also features starring Dwayne Johnson. I hadn’t planned on the two stacking up but was surprised as the month came to a close how many the two categories had rang true. So before we make it into the tentpole films of the Summer, let’s focus on the last hurrah of the Spring as the following were my movie reactions for April.

As always, the following reflects MY OWN OPINION. If you’d like to see these entries in full as the year progresses, each installment is given the tag “Film Diary 2017” so feel free to follow along!

Each entry includes how every feature was primarily seen and an asterisk which denotes that viewing was the first time I’ve seen that movie in its entirety, despite possibly having seen pieces of the film previously or having a general knowledge of it. Numbering reflects the year’s overall total, not the monthly total.

April 1st: 43) Valkyrie* - DVD (Rental - Library); Originally released in the winter of 2008, I may have just missed an eventual screening of this in one of my high school history classes (where I saw a wave of films that went from the relevant to the random including Catch Me If You Can and Slumdog Millionaire). And while it doesn’t quite buck your expectations as much as the final act of Inglourious Basterds did with its climax, Tom Cruise still leads a fascinating story regardless about a major attempt within Germany itself to turn a military tactic on its head in an attempt to end WWII. Director Bryan Singer covers the material with a visually impressive turn here, in addition to supplying plenty of tense moments throughout. Regardless of how likely you know the ending, it’s the plan and events unfolding that capture your attention while granting a different perspective inside the country in a time of a chaos. It may not have stood out as Cruise’s biggest film in the last decade, but it’s certainly a pleasant surprise if the subject interests you.

April 2nd: 44) Soul Men* - TV (DVR - BET); One of Bernie Mac’s final films, this musically driven comedy was a fun time that I didn’t take too seriously. It was a fine cable watch in the middle of a weekend as the movie focuses on two washed up soul artists who take a cross country road trip to attend a tribute for their group leader who had spun off into a successful solo career. Massive amount of cliches aside, what helps add to the fun is the chemistry between Mac and Samuel L. Jackson. It seems like they’re enjoying themselves throughout and it gets infectious alongside a great soundtrack. Not a contender for a new favorite; yet I’ve seen plenty worse on television.

April 4th: 45) 5 to 7* - Streaming (Netflix); I tend to be a sucker for a few quieter, independent romantic dramedies since my younger days of renting random films from the video store down my street. And 5 to 7 fits that exact mold, blending an offbeat perspective it wears proudly on its sleeve with a cast that really elevates the material in play. It’s a very eccentric mix exploring the world of an open marriage, and yet Anton Yelchin’s charming Brian manages to serve his role well as the viewer’s perspective. It’s not perfect but still mesmerizing and emotional as the character driven romance is tackled in various interesting ways with differing ideals. And God, how I wish there was more of Olivia Thirlby’s Jane in this film. She manages to steal the spotlight in every scene she’s in; finding fantastic chemistry with Yelchin and truly making me crave more of a focus on their star-crossed, budding friendship. It’s certainly not a film for everyone; it’s one you’ll either accept as it lays out its central theme early on or you won’t. Though if you do, you may manage to embrace a handful of the alluring and enamoring traits it has to offer.

April 5th: 46) Rogue One: A Star Wars Story* - Blu-Ray; Despite being a sizeable Star Wars fan, I never saw Rogue One during its release due to family problems arising around that time. So while many kept their blinders on until the release, I attempted to maintain that bubble for an additional three months. Some things clearly got through thanks to social media response, such as the widely beloved Vader scene. Others seemed obvious given existing canon and dialogue. The bottom line is I didn’t love Rogue One as much as The Force Awakens. At the same time, this is new territory; I really wasn’t sure how I would react to the first non-Skywalker Saga film despite being versed in books that do just that. I’ve accepted that this was also somewhat of a testing of the waters to see if audiences would respond to one-off cinematic adventures in this galaxy for potentially larger tales. Regardless, Rogue One is still an interesting focus on the Rebel Alliance beyond the Skywalker clan while it presents a grittier atmosphere that is certainly impressive. The story leads to very expected ending, but not before delivering quite a few memorable characters and dynamics. It fleshes out what we know with little additions that not only intrigues (Vader’s presence and location in between the prequel & original trilogies for instance) but solves some details from A New Hope as well. The biggest praise I can give is that director Gareth Edwards delivers perhaps the most visually stunning Star Wars film, between big beautiful shots, scenes that at times evoke the exactlook of the original classics, and a CGI Tarkin that to be quite honest I did not mind as much as others did. It’s a good, strong film that while it may not reach certain heights personally, may grow on me even more among repeat viewings.

April 8th: 47) Kubo and The Two Strings* - Streaming (Netflix); Laika has managed to rise impressively over the past nine years as its four feature films have presented intriguing stories that certainly gain popular word of mouth. Coraline impressed in a creepy supernatural tale with heart, while similarly Paranorman took a genre adventure tale and flipped it on its head with a very heartbreaking climax. Likewise, Kubo takes elements Laika has presented before and utilizes it in a new way. An adventure with fantastical elements here, but blending in dealings of grief, some great comedy, a feudal Japan backdrop and the legends that come with it. And such as Laika’s peaks, that emotional thread works wonders throughout the film. Perhaps not as far reaching to all demographics as the aforementioned movies, Kubo still showcases exceptional visual imagery and isn’t afraid to tackle some more complex pieces while fully embracing the more magical sides of the story it’s trying to deliver. If you can also accept those more farfetched archetypes as honorable to the landscape it’s tackling, then this may be up your alley.

48) Schindler’s List* - Streaming (Netflix); An award winner with an important legacy, I’d never seen this movie before for a small number of reasons. Among them, the 3 hour & 15 minute runtime always seemed overwhelming and the subject material in this format is something you have to be personally prepared for. Man what a powerful film. Unflinchingly brutal yet accurate to life, heartbreaking, and an extremely notable story to discover in the midst of absolute horror. Liam Neeson, Ben Kingsley and Ralph Fiennes give exceptional performances; to see Neeson’s Schindler break down in the “I could’ve saved more” scene evoked my own tears. And despite the length of the film, it never feels too long; between the shocking imagery and the tension that develops, your attention is demanded through it all. The genre of WWII films have presented no shortage of stories to tell, and it’s clear to see why this one has stood strong for the last 25 years.

April 14th: 49) The Fate of The Furious* - Theater; A fan of the franchise since my preteen years, it’s no secret The Fast and The Furious has gone through a number of transitions in its run. The series first changed four films in, shifting from a focus on racing to include more over the top action while also centering on the characters & the “family” that are now a signature part of the continuing story. In the wake of the loss of Paul Walker and the departure of his character Brian, the franchise finds itself at another crossroads. For myself, the core dynamic that gave the series an interesting focus was the yin & yang that were Brian & Dom; both intelligent in cars but differing with backgrounds in law enforcement and living on the edge. It’s why the second and third films didn’t quite work as well as the original, but excited an audience upon reuniting for a fourth; serving as a solid foundation for more fun adventures to build off of. Now with Brian gone, my main concern was wondering if his absence ultimately affected that core. In Fate, it’s clear there’s no replacing him. But thanks to Mr. Nobody and his new protege, played by Scott Eastwood, there is a feeling of balance once more as our family gains some structure while venturing out into an entry that not only entertains but captivates on multiple levels. Yes, there is still some very farfetched action; yet the one-liners & characters make it enjoyable despite plausibility. The story behind Dom’s betrayal to those closest to him counterbalances that, presenting some surprising connections and shocking twists that rewards fans who have stuck with the series so far. Jason Statham is a scene stealer, especially in the third act; Charlize Theron delivers an intimidating villain through her actions despite the fact she’s less hands on than previous antagonists. Without giving any spoilers away, I’ll say that what transpires blends together impressively to not only honor at least the three films prior but combats hesitance of shifting gears with a thrilling blockbuster that easily put it in the top tier of Fast and Furious installments.

April 15th: 50) Quiz Show* - Streaming (Netflix); My third based-on-a-true story film this month took me out of WWII and into the 1950s with another Best Picture nominee from the mid-90s. Here director Robert Redford tackles the cheating scandal from the early days of television, a controversy I had no clue even existed. What is presented is a solid film that takes many aspects and decides to run with them for an intriguing package, tackling a moral center, event entertainment vs. transparency, and the growing notion as to whether or not the same thing could be happening today in an era where game shows have only expanded. Ralph Fiennes dazzles as the lead torn between right and wrong, while John Turturro does an exceptional job playing an obsessed former champion that serves as a foil you can’t quite root for despite being in a justified camp. Though it doesn’t make it into the top tier of biopics for me, it’s an intriguing focus if you’re an entertainment lover.

April 22nd: 51) The Finest Hours* - Streaming (Netflix); As the title of this feature suggests, I found it to be just fine but not great. This drama from last year recounts a risky Coast Guard rescue in the early 50s out of Chatham, Massachusetts in the middle of a terrible winter storm. And while the story is interesting to learn and the actual rescue itself is harrowing, the film has a handful of problems. The first act, about 40 minutes long, throws so many characters at you and they are primarily pessimistic towards our protagonists that it actually gets a bit annoying. And a good handful of the pessimism on one side comes from an elephant in the room that is vaguely described through expositional dialogue that just feels out of place. An opening five minute scene depicting the event or even the fallout could’ve helped solve at least some of these scenes that simply come off sluggish. Additionally, characters and performances come up short because we jump around to SO many of them. Chris Pine and Casey Affleck lead their respective storylines well; Holliday Grainger is an absolute scene stealer and makes the central relationship believable. Ben Foster finds his groove later on, but disappointed me in the first half because of how good of a role I know he can deliver (if you haven’t seen it, he’s EXCEPTIONAL in The Program). The more interesting aspects of the film are Affleck’s story as we see how a ragtag crew manages to stay afloat in half of a sinking tanker as they await for rescue to hopefully come. Once rescue ventures out, the movie gains some real gravity; it’s just the very hesitant start and the crowded screen time that fails to get the motor going off the bat, rippling through the movie.

April 25th: 52) Moana* - TV (Rental - On Demand); I was worried how I would like this one given the hype built up from social media and award nominations. But as it turns out, it lives up that hype. Moana does an impressive thing by focusing on three key relationships that drive the emotional undercurrent: the title character & herself (torn between family and passion); the title character & her grandmother (doubting your passion, having someone support you and losing a loved one); and the title character and Maui (a comedic chemistry that also showcases independent strength, resilience and determination). All of these blend to deliver a powerful heart against a solid adventure tale that takes advantage of legend and fantasy, much in the way that Kubo had with its atmosphere. The villains are a bit weak, serving mostly as simple hurdles instead of the memorable antagonists from the Renaissance era. But there’s just something Moana does so well among establishing lore and relatable bonds in the first act that elevates the rest of the film. It’s even clear to see why “How Far I’ll Go” is the breakout song, as it perfectly captures and reflects everything being presented in the first half hour. Moana is a movie that wears its heart on its sleeve and is all the better for it, while the comedy and odyssey that follow cement it among the recent string of animated Disney films crafting their own legacies.

April 26th: 53) Central Intelligence* - DVD (Rental - Library); My second movie starring Dwayne Johnson in as many days, let’s say I didn’t love this one as much. It’s enjoyable, sure, but a little too goofy with a handful of problems. Kevin Hart and Johnson play off each other fantastically and are a lot of fun as a duo, but the character dynamics threw me a bit too much. Here, Hart is more or less the witty, taken aback foundation while Johnson is the wackier one as a repressed former high school loser who can’t quite let go of his past. And it’s there that the absurdity kind of grows more and more even if it tries to stay grounded in some respects. It requires plenty of disbelief and my expectations ultimately just were not there. Furthermore, the central story presents evidence to potentially distrust Johnson’s character well until the third act, and he’s such a wild card throughout that I actually bought the notion. The surprise cameos add an additional treat, but I’m also kinda happy I simply rented this one instead of outright buying it.

April 29th: 54) The Lincoln Lawyer* - Blu-Ray; My final film of the month is a legal thriller adaptation that squeaked in just before the “McConaissance” took shape. Matthew McConaughey leads a surprisingly star studded feature that spends the first hour setting up a premise, only to take an incredibly sharp turn halfway through and send the film in an entirely different direction. Though this twist allows for a complex spinning of plates that impressively all ties together in the end, it was a bit too jarring for me to roll with and I still felt a bit off center as the story continued to deliver turn after turn. Regardless, McConaughey and Ryan Phillippe give great performances; Marisa Tomei is just fine but has great chemistry with McConaughey; Michael Pena shines in the very small screen time he’s given; Bryan Cranston is under used with just a few scenes in a rather minor role. Ultimately it doesn’t hit as hard as past entries in its genre despite the impressive talent roster it builds and a break from cliche that should be refreshing. Then again, perhaps it was just my unprepared mindset to the narrative shift that left me with a sour note.

And that concludes part three of my year in movies! What blockbusters will I have seen after Memorial Day? See you in a month to find out!

What movies did you see in April 2017? Are there any movies you’d highly recommend that I should add to my watchlist? Feel free to drop me an ask or a reply!

#film diary 2017 #movies

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voodoochili · 8 years ago

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My Year in Music - Albums

You guys know how 2016 was an atrocious year that everybody hated and wanted to end months before it was over? Let’s revisit it so I can talk about some music I liked!

Thanks to the magic of Spotify Premium and the horror of the outside world, I listened to more new albums in 2016 than I ever have before in a single year. I was able to rank 50 albums worthy on putting of a best list, and I left out a ton that either did not make the cut or I haven’t spent enough time with. Yet it was such a fantastic year for music that I am sure there are plenty of excellent albums that I missed. While 2016 did not boast a singularly transcendent album like 2015′s To Pimp a Butterfly or 2014′s Black Messiah, it boasted a deep bench of excellent albums--an onslaught so overwhelming that my Spotify listening list nearly collapsed under its own digital weight. Anyway, enough jibber-jabber, here are the albums that stuck out to me as the cream of the crop (Yes, I left off Blonde on purpose).

Check ‘em out after the jump:

THE TOP 20:

20. Radiohead – A Moon Shaped Pool: A typically beautiful record from the world’s foremost paranoid androids, A Moon Shaped Pool is the first Radiohead album to fully integrate the arranging powers of guitarist Jonny Greenwood into the group’s sound. After spending much of the past decade as Paul Thomas Anderson’s go-to film scorer, Greenwood’s orchestral mastery nearly overtakes Thom Yorke’s falsetto as the record’s focal point. Marrying the glitchy electronics of the band’s early ‘00s output with soaring strings and minimalist piano, highlights like “Glass Eyes,” “Present Tense,” and “Daydreaming” stand up to the best material of the group’s career. The best moment of the record for me: finally hearing the impossibly sad studio version of “True Love Waits,” after spending nearly a decade obsessing over the live recording.

19. Beyoncé – Lemonade: In which pop culture’s most infallible figure opens up about her marital woes, enlisting the full power of some of the biggest names in the music industry to affirm her greatness. Lemonade is an album with towering singles (“Formation,” “Sorry”), but also a collection of spectacular moments, from the New Orleans-style horn rave-up at the beginning of “Daddy Lessons,” to the moment Jack White comes in at the chorus of “Don’t Hurt Yourself,” to her pained vocal runs towards the end of my favorite track, “All Night.” An audacious follow-up to the artistic and strategic brilliance of BEYONCÉ, Lemonade proves that Beyoncé will never simply rest in the limelight, but that she will forever use her station to empower, experiment and push music forward.

18. Isaiah Rashad – The Sun’s Tirade: “I got the music for the vibers,” chants Isaiah Rashad on “Rope/Rosegold,” and he’s not kidding. But it’s such a unique vibe, simultaneously laid-back and aggressive, with liquid, jazzy production that evokes the Dungeon Family at its most introspective. Isaiah invites us into his head, and whether he’s fighting off fans impatient with his long break between albums, reflecting on his nearly fatal battle with drugs and alcohol, or simply talking shit, his evocative pen and pronounced drawl bring out the best in each instrumental.

17. Kanye West – The Life of Pablo: Enough people have written enough about Kanye West in 2016, but here I go anyway. Whether or not the man has completely lost his rocker, he remains one of our greatest sonic architects. Each track on TLOP flows seamlessly into the next, building an exhilarating sense of forward momentum hurdling toward the tragic triptych of “FML.” “Real Friends,” and “Wolves” (keep Frank, I can take or leave Vic and Sia). If Kanye could just rein in his grossest impulses (I don’t need to hear about bleached anything, thank you very much), the album would place much higher on my list. Then again, if Kanye had any impulse control, he wouldn’t be Kanye, would he?

16. YG – Still Brazy: When YG emerged several years ago with “Toot It and Boot It,” who could have predicted that the charismatic, but seemingly- dunderheaded rapper from Compton could become one of our most reliable purveyors of political rage? A paranoid masterpiece of modern G-Funk with 4K production value, Still Brazy is a worthy follow up to My Krazy Life, my second favorite album of 2014. Still Brazy lacks the narrative cohesion of its predecessor, making up for it with a seething anger against the police, haters, the people who shot him outside his studio, and especially Donald Trump. We live in brazy times, and we’re lucky to have YG to give voice to our fear, confusion, and righteous fury.

15. Maxwell – blackSUMMERS’night: In a hype-driven, fast paced music industry that churns through artists as fast as it produces them, Maxwell works at his own pace. Released seven years after the confusingly titled BLACKsummers’night, Maxwell’s latest is a blissful oasis, a “Lake By The Ocean” if you will (you will!), tucked away from trends in mainstream urban music. Forever concerned with matters of the heart, Maxwell eschews the neo-soul of his early work. He refracts the sound grown-and-sexy icons from Seal to Sade, masterfully flexing his divine falsetto over liquid future-funk on “All The Ways Love Can Feel,” wallowing in bluesy murk on the epic “Lost,” and lamenting his devotion to an unfaithful lover on “Gods.” It’s been over two decades since Maxwell first introduced us to his Urban Hang Suite, yet Maxwell remains a unique and mysterious presence—one who lets his considerable talent speak for himself.

14. Shearwater – Jet Plane & Oxbow: Shearwater’s Jonathan Meiburg uses his intricately-crafted songs as bedrock for orchestral, ornate arrangements. Jet Plane & Oxbow finds Meiburg enlisting the services of composer Brian Reitzall (the man behind the original scores for Lost in Translation and the Friday Night Lights movie, among others) to create a tapestry of arresting synthetic sounds. Together, Meiburg, Reitzall and the band create a modern near-masterpiece of synth rock. Standout tracks include the gurgling, slowly-building “Backchannels,” the menacing bassline and disorienting orchestra of sound effects on “Filaments,” the Unforgettable Fire-style bombast of “Radio Silence,” and especially the gorgeous, generational power-ballad “Wildlife in America,” a soaring rumination on the seeming impossibility of the American dream.

13. Young Thug – JEFFERY: Possibly the most eccentric and enigmatic figure in the world of modern Hip-Hop (which is saying a lot), Young Thug’s decision to name his latest “mixtape” after his government name seemed to indicate a more personal approach to his art. Turns out, it didn’t really happen that way, with JEFFERY bringing the same gonzo melodies and glorious non-sequiturs of his previous releases. What’s new?: the dude levels the fuck up when it comes to his rhyming, especially on the opening and closing tracks. JEFFERY is a revealing look into Thugger’s mind and possibly into his artistic process. Each track on the tape is named after an influence or personal hero (and one named for “Harambe” because in order to be a meme, you have to be aware of memes I guess), and many of them consciously ape and inhabit the styles of the namesake. “Future Swag” imitates Future’s clipped, rhythmic cadence over a bouncing 808 Mafia production. “Wyclef Jean” is steeped in the music of the Caribbean, creating a thrilling hybrid of trap music and roots reggae. My favorite track on the project changes every day, but right now it’s probably “RiRi,” which boasts Jeffery’s most affecting, impassioned vocal to date. “IF YOU WANT IT YOU GOTTA EAAAAARN IT,” Thug barks (like a goddamn seal), and by God I think he’s earned it.

12. Field Music – Commontime: The long-standing project of brothers Peter and David Brewis, Field Music performs angular, fractured pop songs that often buck standard songwriting conventions. They have melodies for days, buried under addictive herky-jerk rhythms and droning keys. The result is a disorienting but addictive swirl of distinctly British art rock, echoing the dueling songwriter avant-pop of XTC, the fanciful working-class heroics of Roxy Music, and the pop adventurism of the Synchronicity-era Police. Commontime features some of the catchiest guitar-based music I heard all year, with the choruses from “The Noisy Days Are Over,” “Disappointed,” and “It’s a Good Thing” occupying a disproportionate amount of real estate in my cerebral cortex since January.

11. Danny Brown – Atrocity Exhibition: The dominant story in much of Hip-Hop is a rags-to-riches narrative, a triumphant tale from bricks to Billboards, from grams to Grammies, etcetera. Nobody in Hip-Hop, however, makes you feel the rags part of the story as deeply as Danny Brown. To Danny Brown, extreme poverty is not merely a life stage to overcome, but a trauma with aftershocks that never go away. “Some people think I think to much/I don’t think I think enough,” raps on “Rolling Stone.” His third straight classic since 2011’s XXX, Atrocity Exhibition, named after the discordant opening track to Joy Division’s notoriously bleak Closer, is a typically gritty expedition into Danny Brown’s consciousness, with outrageous punchlines counterweighting visceral depictions of debauchery and dark observations about his rough early life. Teaming up with production partner Paul White for 10 of the 15 tracks, Atrocity Exhibition finds Danny weaving his rhymes through an appealing industrial murk, equally reminiscent of RZA’s production on Liquid Swords and This Heat’s darkest sound collages. He soberly recalls his life as a low-level crack dealer on “Tell Me What I Don’t Know,” seethes a quiet despair on “Downward Spiral,” and frenetically proclaims his rhyming supremacy on “When It Rain.”

10. Chance The Rapper – Coloring Book: In 2016, Chance The Rapper finally shunted his label as the Next Big Thing to embrace his destiny as one of the Current Big Things. Few artists of any age, genre, or era can match his contagious exuberance, charisma, and skill. All of these attributes come out in full-force on Coloring Book, his third mixtape. Supercharged with gospel choirs, heavenly brass, and an assist from an assortment of music superstars and talented local friends, Coloring Book was a ray of light in a dark year. Coloring Book lacks much of the impish charm of Acid Rap, and trades much of that album’s social consciousness for earnest biblical pronouncements, but it radiates a special type of warmth and instills a sense of hope that I could not find elsewhere this year. I do not have the same relationship with God that Chance The Rapper does, but I can appreciate the way his spirituality informs his intense, infectious love for his friends, his family, and his infant daughter. The world is a better place for having Chance in it, and, remarkably, this is still just the beginning.

9. Cymbals Eat Guitars – Pretty Years: The best band to spring from Staten Island since the dawn of the Wu-Tang Clan, Pretty Years is the fourth and best album from Cymbals Eat Guitars. Long-time purveyors of surround sound shoegaze pop, this album finds the group demonstrating their songwriting chops, ranging from the hardcore stylings of “Beam,” to the Explosions in the Sky meets jangle-rock of “Have a Heart,” to the “Spirit in the Night”-esque saxophone stomp of “Wish”, to the titanic slow build of closer “Shrine.” On Pretty Years, the band embraces a more personal style of lyricism, writing songs about specific days and events. With producer John Congleton collecting the band’s ringing guitars and stampeding drums into a formidable explosion of sound, the epic expanse of the instrumentals combines with the specific and personal lyrics to illustrate the divine beauty of everyday life.

8. Kendrick Lamar – untitled unmastered: Though the songs that comprise untitled unmastered emerged from the To Pimp a Butterfly sessions, it does them a disservice to call them outtakes. They have no names, just numbers and dates, and they do not quite fit into the intricate TPAB narrative; but these songs, especially the four in the record’s incredible back half, are among his most musically adventurous and sharply written tracks to date. Less frenetic and more laid back than much of its parent album (the Thundercat basslines have more room to breathe, the strings and horns are sparing, but effective), untitled unmastered is a thought-provoking and often humorous reflection on Kendrick Lamar’s career and a meditation on a young black man’s position in society today. My favorite track: the swirling, gorgeously odd, Cee-Lo Green-assisted “untitled 06,” a triumphant ode to the artistic spirit.

7. Noname – Telefone: Noname is an inspiration, an old soul trapped in the body of a 25-year old rapper from the South Side. She rocks a conversational, poetic flow, rhyming about grief, violence in Chicago, and abortion with an earned wisdom and a feather-light touch, illuminating a perspective too often ignored in the media today. Produced by a cadre of fellow Chicago prodigies, including Saba, Phoelix, Cam O’bi, and Monte Booker, Telefone is one of the most beautiful albums I heard all year; warm, jazzy, and forward-thinking. Chiming bells and schoolyard xylophones intersect with steel drums, handclaps and sine waves, providing an ideal bedrock for Noname’s plainspoken wisdom: “When the sun is going down/and the dark is here to stay/I picture your smile/like it was Yesterday.”

6. Anderson .Paak – Malibu: After building his name the L.A. rap underground and finally breaking through on Dr. Dre’s Compton, Anderson .Paak introduced himself to a rapt national audience in 2016 with countless guest spots and two excellent albums. Anderson .Paak was probably my favorite live act of the year; a charismatic combination of James Brown and Clyde Stubblefield. I saw him in front of a good-sized crowd at a side stage Austin City Limits, leading his crackerjack group of Free Nationals as an energetic frontman and a virtuosic drummer. With Malibu, .Paak proves to be the rare superlative live act to fully translate his talent and energy to the recorded realm. Malibu is a summery slice of Anderson’s Southern California, blending funk, Hip-Hop, and R&B into a signature style, complete with an infectious half-sung/half-rapped delivery and a pro’s sense of songwriting classicism. The cascading chorus on “Heart Don’t Stand a Chance” is one of the soaring musical moments of the year, and Brian Cockerham’s bassline on “Come Down” transforms Hi-Tek’s unlikely sample of the Israeli national anthem into a funk monster. Joyful and endlessly replayable, Malibu is the ideal soundtrack to L.A.’s everlasting summer.

5. David Bowie – Blackstar: It is impossible to discuss Blackstar without mentioning this, so here it goes:

Blackstar is the final album from one of the most original and iconic artists of the past century, a goodbye letter to his fans that he recorded knowing full well that he might not live to see its release.

Bowie littered his lyrics with abstruse references to his impending demise, making an already haunting album even more profound. However, even if Bowie survived the year, the unapologetically strange and experimental Blackstar would rank among his greatest releases. The epic, atonal title track is one of Bowie’s masterstrokes, twisting through effortless tempo and mood shifts, accompanied by terrifying, yet often darkly funny lyrics. Bowie’s pitch black sense of humor also elevates “Lazarus” from maudlin to essential, as Donny McCaslin’s saxophone mournfully accents the artist’s depiction of his final days. Bowie’s final transmission to ground control is “I Can’t Give Everything Away,” a poignant, discordant ballad that illuminates Bowie’s single regret: that he will not be able to gift the world anymore art.

4. Schoolboy Q – Blank Face LP: 2016 was an amazing year for L.A. rap, and while Anderson .Paak, Kendrick, and YG released some of the year’s most exciting music, Schoolboy Q surpassed them all with the epic Blank Face LP. Working with many of the game’s brest producers (The Alchemist, DJ Dahi, Cardo, Tyler, The Creator, etc.) on this expansive, cohesive sound collage, Schoolboy Q snarls his way through 72 near-flawless (sorry “Overtime) minutes of straight gangster shit. Still a master of declarative, rhythmic hooks, Q refines his stream-of-consciousness verses, painting a gritty, and often terrifying, picture of Figueroa Street and South Central with humor, viciousness, and pathos. Blank Face boasts one of the year’s best basslines on the title track, two of the year’s broadest and best guest verses of the year in E-40’s “Dope Dealer” spot and Kanye’s batshit takeover of “THat Part,” and a convincing rap/rock hybrid on opener “TorcH.”

3. KING – We Are King: Bolstered by songwriting brilliance and gorgeous vocal harmonies, Los Angeles trio KING makes velvety, 1800-threadcount R&B. Comprised of sisters Paris and Amber Strother and “musical soulmate” Anita Bias, KING compiled extended mixes for five years worth of singles, plus some stellar original tracks, into We Are King, a powerful introductory statement. Theirs is a special brand of dreamlike soul, with genius-level chord progressions and angelic vocal harmonies, finished with a sumptuous production value. With its gentle groove and inviting lushness, We Are King is the perfect balm to melt away stress at the end of the day (it’s also a pretty decent hangover cure).

2. A Tribe Called Quest – We Got It From Here, Thank You For Your Service: When Phife died in March 2016, it seemed like a particularly cruel way for the story of A Tribe Called Quest to end. Little did we know that Q-Tip, Phife, and Ali Shaheed Muhammad had another trick up their sleeves. The fact that this album is exists--and is this amazing--is a miracle. The key, as always, is the interplay between Q-Tip and Phife. The two genius emcees bounce phrases off one another, finishing each other’s thoughts with witticisms and profound statements of truth. Jarobi White, formerly a glorified hypeman, makes us wonder why he didn’t rhyme on more tracks to begin with. The group dynamic extends to the guests such as Busta Rhymes, Consequence, Kendrick Lamar, and more, who seamlessly join Tip and Phife’s mindmeld for some of the best work of their careers. We Got It From Here… is the apotheosis of Tribe’s career, as the collective shows righteous anger towards racism and authoritarianism (“We The People,” “Conrad Tokyo”), sees hope in the future of music (“Dis Generation”), and, most touchingly, mourns the loss of their brother Phife Dawg (”Lost Somebody”). Despite the shadow of loss that hangs over the album, it’s a remarkably fun, engaging, and thought-provoking listen, and it was my most played album in the aftermath of the election.

1. Pinegrove – Cardinal:

“I’ll be sitting on the outskirts if you wanna talk about it/Things in there are getting so loud”

In a year when nearly every major pop and rap star released an album and some of the greatest artists of all time said goodbye, the album that hit me the hardest was a 30-minute debut by a modest band from my dad’s hometown of Montclair, NJ. The group, led by frontman/songwriter Evan Stephens Hall, mines a homespun blend of 00’s indie rock, emo, and alt-country—a nostalgic, yet novel approach, which when coupled with Hall’s voice creates a frisson that I felt from no other band this year. The eight songs on Cardinal twist and turn, avoiding traditional verse-chorus structure, instead building emotional peaks and valleys around Hall’s stories, dotted with pearls of matter-of-fact wit and wisdom. The centerpiece is “Aphasia,” a jaw-dropping feat of songwriting about the struggle to put feelings into words—it gradually builds up steam until it reaches a brilliant little song-within-a-song (!) and culminates with a cathartic guitar solo. “Aphasia,” and much of the rest of Cardinal, is so casually brilliant that it almost angers me, but hopefully there are many more moments like that in this young band’s future.

THE REST:

21. Kaytranada – 99.9% 22. The Avalanches – Wildflower 23. Terrace Martin – Velvet Portraits 24. BJ The Chicago Kid – In My Mind 25. Big Thief – Masterpiece 26. Ultimate Painting - Dusk 27. Skepta – Konnichiwa 28. Solange – A Seat at the Table 29. School of Seven Bells – SVIIB 30. Kevin Gates – Islah 31. Cass McCombs – Mangy Love 32. Jessy Lanza – Oh No 33. Underworld – Barbara Barbara We Face a Shining Future 34. Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith – Ears 35. Badbadnotgood - IV 36. Sturgill Simpson – A Sailor’s Guide to Earth 37. ANOHNI – Hopelessness 38. Leonard Cohen – You Want It Darker 39. King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard – Nonagon Infinity 40. Crying – Beyond The Fleeting Gales 41. Leon Vynehall – Rojus 42. Mitski – Puberty 2 43. Saba – Bucket List Project 44. Joyce Manor – Cody 45. Black Mountain - IV 46. Kornel Kovacs – The Bells 47. Lambchop – FLOTUS 48. Japanese Breakfast – Psychopomp 49. Nao – For All We Know 50. D.R.A.M. – Big Baby D.R.A.M.

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