#what if a woman was so beautiful that you forgot how to do your job | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

all4yoi · 4 months ago

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𝒮ins 𝑜f 𝒯he ℳanor ۰ sjy

𝑔ardener!jake x 𝓁ady!reader ⚹ cw. set in 1880s, angst??, fluff, mentions of arrange marriage, love at first sight??, jake is down bad, sunghoon punches jay lol, heeseung mentioned grahh, theyre just rlly inlove idk, toxic family kinda, not proofread

sypnosis: Y/N L/N, a lively aristocrat, finds herself in love with Sim Jaeyun, the estate gardener. Their secret romance defies societal expectations, jeopardizing both their reputations and family honor as they navigate the treacherous waters and the consequences of cross-class affection.

or in short, wherein Sim Jaeyun finds himself longing for the infamous nobleman's daughter the longer he works for their estate.

notes, word count is like 5.7k haha, i wrote this for 3 nights, anyway i rlly loved writing this! if you like it to, please reblog~

The day you were welcomed to the world, your mother has always told you how your grandmother washed your face with water that had rose petals in the basin with it. She had said that doing so will grant the baby beauty.

You weren't sure if that moment had any connection on your adoration to roses now that you've grown to a fine young lady. Usually, a smile would be adorned on your face whilst you stood admiring the roses in one corner of the huge garden you and your grandmother had built over the years, if it weren't for the fact that the roses were wilting now.

Their usual bold red color has gone darker and its petals drier. You could revive them, obviously, but you didn't know how. Your grandmother died three days ago and throughout your life, she had taught you everything you needed to know in gardening.

Now it looks like she forgot to teach you one thing. She was always quite forgetful.

Two warm hands placed themselves on your shoulders.

"Do not fret, my darling. Your father has already secured the assistance of someone who will restore your roses to their former beauty." came the voice of your mother as she squeezed your shoulders reassuringly.

You stood unresponsive before turning to look at her.

"Thank you, mama."

"He shall arrive by noon tomorrow. Let us return to the manor; it is growing rather dark."

With that, you turned your back on the wilting roses and walked away. Atleast, by tomorrow, one of the two things you loved and lost will be brought back. Hopefully.

"You got a job with the L/N's? That's huge! What will you be doing there?" Sunghoon, a friend of Jake's questioned eagerly.

Jake patted his trousers, removing unwanted dust that had clung on to him whilst he prepared everything he needed.

"Well, just some gardening, of course. That's what I was told. That's what I do for a living." he answered briefly before putting his sling bag over his shoulder.

Sunghoon scrunched up his nose, "That sounds a bit dull, even though I've expected it, but good luck! I'll see you around!" he says as he pushes his friend by the shoulders and jogging away from him.

Jake huffed and began his journey to the L/N Manor.

The walk was rather peaceful, greeting acquaintances he meets along the way and helping some when he notices they need one.

Looking up the sky, Jake came to an abrupt stop before coming up in a sprint.

He said he was to arrive at noon, and noon was approaching much sooner than he planned. He supposes it was because of the constant helping hand he had lent towards the people he came across with.

He should really stop doing those at the wrong time.

"You are tardy, young man. You should consider yourself fortunate that only Lady Y/N is waiting. The Earl and Countess are presently engaged in their duties elsewhere." An elderly housemaid nags, tutting disapprovingly at the sweating young man infront of her.

"I'm terribly sorry, really am." Jake spoked in between pants, he saw the housemaid's glare soften before he was urged inside as the elderly woman led him towards the back of the manor.

Jake could only gape at the size of the house, oh what he would do to live in a house like this.

His mouth only widened at the sight of a large garden where he was now walking into, the elderly woman still leading him somewhere secluded.

He spun around but continued to walk, admiring the scenery infront of him. There were various of colorful flowers like tulips, pansies, marigolds, lilies.. everything. He could spot a greenhouse in one corner, a pond in another, a fountain in the middle, and a maiden standing over a bush of.. wilting roses.

Guess he found his job.

"Lady Y/N, the gardener has arrived. Should you require any assistance, please do not hesitate to summon me."

And with that, Jake was left alone with the Earl's only child and daughter.

"Pray excuse my tardiness, m'lady. I was detained by.. an unforeseen matter." he spoke softly.

Turning around, you were met with big brown eyes staring right back at you. If you had noticed the way they widened, you didn't mention it.

Eyeing him up and down, you studied his appearance. He was dressed in beige trousers and a white linen shirt with its sleeves folded up until his elbows, he wore a brown sling bag and a small black beret sat on top of his rather long black hair.

Father would've nagged him for that.

"M'lady?" his voice was rather attractive, you noted. It suited his face.

"Pardon me, I was under the impression that you would be somewhat older." you sent a small smile as he scratched his nape.

"Ah well-"

"Please don't misunderstand me! I am delighted to be speaking with someone of my own age... You are of similar age to myself, aren't you?"

Jake broke into a wide smile, biting his lower lip as he chuckled. The heavy load on his shoulders seemed to have been lifted. You weren't like those.. pardon him for saying, brats, that he had worked with from the past.

So far in his life, Jake has encountered two noble families (your family being the third), considered that he was the grandson of the greatest gardener in town.

The Baron's twin daughters spoke in this shrilly voice as they constantly nagged him for cutting the stems of their flowers when he had only wanted the plant to absorb more water properly. He had been sacked the same day.

Meanwhile the Viscount's daughter only flirted with him any chance she got and when he had rejected her politely and respectfully (he didn't want to lose his job and ruin someone's reputation, also because he wasn't intrested), she bawled and at the end, he was fired and was forever banned from their manor. Not like he's planning on coming back anyway.

So seeing you with pure kindness and innocence written all over you, gave him a bit of hope that you'd be better than the previous daughters he had dealt with.

"Yes, I am, m'lady. I am Sim Jaeyun. Please, do call me Jake." he bowed his head lightly before stepping forward, now standing side by side with the pretty maiden. He eyed the roses, some were dying, some were already dead.

"My grandmother passed away four days ago; though you may already be aware of this. She and I planted these roses together, but since her funeral, they have begun to wilt. I am at a loss as to how to restore their former beauty." you spoke softly, brows furrowing as you crouched down and caressed one rose that was still of color and beauty.

Looking up at the attractive boy, you sent him a genuine smile.

"I do hope you can assist me, Sim Jaeyun."

"Do not worry, my lady; it would be the last thing I'd do."

The next day, despite the usual bright sky being covered with dark rain clouds, Jake had a small smile on his face as he began his journey to the manor he'd be working in for the next following months.

Not only was he going to take care of the roses, but he was also offered the job of maintaining the garden's beauty, regardless of its heavy responsibility he did not think twice in accepting the offer, maybe it was the pay that made him accept or maybe it was the simple love he had for what he does.

Upon arriving at the manor, he was immediately led towards the garden by a different maid this time.

Jake skipped over towards the rose bushes and began to do his work. He had noticed that you were nowhere to be found, he had atleast expected to see you hanging around in the garden.

An hour has passed and he was now tending on the marigolds, admiring its beauty and sprinkling it with some water.

He felt a drop of water on his eyebrow, then another on his nose. It was starting to rain.

Jake didn't know why his first thought was to run to the greenhouse when he was much more closer to the manor's backdoor. He followed his gut, and now here he was, stuck in the greenhouse as the rain echoed inside.

"Mr. Sim?"

Turning around abruptly, he was met with your wide eyes staring back at him.

You were wearing a custom made dress in a shade of light blue, it fell down until your shoes weren't visible. Your hands were covered in dirt as you stood infront of the tomatoes.

"Lady Y/N! How delightful to see you!" he greeted with a smile before it fell as realization dawned to him.

He walked closer to you, his eyes scanning your form. Now that he was closer, he could see some stains of dirt littered on your neck down to your clothed torso.

"May I ask what brings you here?" he questioned, looking at the tomatoes on a basket before averting his gaze back to you.

"I was simply attending to the tomatoes. This is how I pass the time, as there is little to occupy me within the estate." your soft voice could kill millions, he thinks to himself. He takes a handkerchief from his trousers and held out his hand.

"Do you mind if I..?" you stared at his hand and shook your head, bringing your softer hands against his.

He began wiping away the dirt, trying his hardest not to look up and stare at your face. Jake knew that you were fairly beautiful, but he was already crossing the line of holding your hand and tending to you.

For goodness sake, you have your own personal maid who's job is to do this!

"I did not anticipate the rain today; I came here straight away upon finishing my breakfast." you had explained, looking up at the clear ceiling of the structure and watching the rain drops fall.

Jake dropped your now clean hands gently before walking towards his discarded bag on the ground. "Here, I have a coat in my bag. You may drape it over your head and return to the warmth of the estate. It will be far more comfortable there than it is out here."

"And what of yourself? You're not intending to remain out here, are you?" Jake gaped at you, his mouth opening and closing as he swallowed down the lump in his throat.

Having no response from the young man, you added, "I shall remain here with you until the rain lessens somewhat."

"But-"

"I insist."

So with that, the two of you stayed together sharing stories of your own experiences, sharing laughter, and slowly building a bond.

As the rain slowly calmed down, Jake had thrown his jacket over your head and led you out the greenhouse. His arms were still holding on to the jacket to keep it from slipping off whilst your head was practically shoved in his chest.

The sounds of your laughter were silenced with the pitter patter of the rain as you two ran back to the manor.

"Lady Y/N! I was searching for you—oh dear! We must get you cleaned up before your mother arrives and sees you in such a state. Come along, quickly!" your personal maid whines as she nearly rips you away from the gardener's arm, not sparing him a glance as she took the jacket off your head and on to the floor.

You spared him a glance over the shoulder of your maid, smiling and mouthing 'thank you.' Jake was quite sure that you've brought his heart with you as you walked away from him.

That day, you learned that Jake had a deep connection to nature and craftsmanship. He was undeniably refreshing compared to the suitors your mother would force you to spend time with. He was authentic, extremely kind, and he longed for a life defined by passion and purpose rather than societal expectations. Just like you did.

For the past few days, Jake had been visiting the manor to tend on the roses and everything else. Everytime he did, you'd be sitting somewhere far yet near enough to see what he's doing. He would never admit it, but everytime he woke up in the morning, all he'd ever think about is seeing you.

If you weren't in the greenhouse, you'd sometimes be under a tree and have a book with you, maybe a tea, or your white feline friend, and sometimes it was just you and your pretty face.

Occasionally you'd even approach him and crouch down beside him, just watching the way his hands work on your precious roses. Maybe even share hidden caresses of each others hands as you two worked together on some days.

Today was one of those days.

"Do you see what I have done?" Jake spoke, gesturing over the basket filled with dead roses and leaves. "I have removed the roses that were wilting, dying, and drying. These were afflicted with diseases that might spread and endanger the remaining roses."

"I have also removed some of the weeds growing around the bush, as they might be competing for the nutrients that should be going to the roses themselves."

He only received an understanding nod and a small smile in return. During these moments, he had to hide the shake in his hands, not because of fear. He was overwhelmed, you were too pretty to be true.

Pausing in his words, he stared at your face. Memorizing each feature.

Then suddenly, he found his fingers tucking a fallen strand of hair behind your ear. You merely stared back at him, letting him caress you.

He was developing a crush on someone he knows he shouldn't. He'd be banished not only of this job, but possibly his house too. He knows it's impossible for an Earl to do that, but he'd be able to financially ruin him and his grandfather that would cause them to leave their warm abode.

As much as he wanted to pursue you, he could not, and he (somewhat) already accepts that. So, he'd stand firm and do the job he's told to do.

"It appears that you two are finding much pleasure in each other's company."

You immediately stood up and dusted your dress to get rid of the dirt that had clung to it.

"Mama.. I was only-"

"Inside the manor, Y/N, we have guests coming, and your father is seeking your presence." she cooly said, her cold eyes staring straight at the gardener who was now also standing.

The girl simply nodded, sparing a quick glance at Jake before walking back to the manor.

"Your ladyship." Jake bowed his head before meeting the eyes of the tall woman.

"I trust you have not forgotten your duties. You are to attend solely to the flowers; becoming familiar with my daughter is not part of what my husband has entrusted you with, am I correct?" she raised an intimidating brow at him.

"You are absolutely correct, my lady. I assure you it will not happen again."

"I hope so, especially now that she is to be wed to the Duke's son. You are dismissed for today. Good day." and before he could even answer, the tall woman turned her back on him and walked away.

Jake felt his world come crashing down.

As he picked up his gardening tools he couldn't stop the tightening in his chest, he knew he had no right to feel this way. He was a gardener, you were an Earl's daughter.

You'd be better off with the son of a Duke. You won't gain anything from marrying a gardener, someone who cuts plants for a living and lives off of minimum wage.

Closing his eyes briefly, he exhaled and slapped himself in the chest in an attempt to get rid of its tightness.

As he said, he'd stand firm and do the job he's told to do.

And that is to tend to the roses, and not become familiar with the only daughter of the L/N's.

"What has you feeling so low?"

"God! I didn't expect to see you awake gramps." the sudden voice of his grandfather surprised him so much that he had accidentally slammed the door of their home so loud.

"And I'm not feeling low, merely fatigued, that's all." he added and dropped his bag on a stool before taking a bread from their kitchen.

His grandfather squinted his eyes at him before clearing his throat, he opened his newspaper before reading out loud.

"Lee Heeseung, son of the Duke, is reported to be betrothed to Y/N L/N, daughter of the Earl."

"Gramps, you should go to bed. You need to rest; why are you out here?"

His grandfather merely tutts, shaking his head and sighing. "Don't tell me you have become enamored with the daughter of an Earl?" his strained voice grumbled out.

Jake clicks his tongue and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I have not. What made you come up with that conclusion?" he asks, now looking at his grandfather.

"Don't look at me like that." he muttered.

"Like what, son?"

"Like you understand how I feel, as though you pity me." he replied, his eyes turning glassy.

His grandfather sighed, taking a sip of his coffee and gasping loudly after. "I would prefer not to have my grandson's head presented to me by the Earl one random morning. You ought to know better, Jaeyun."

Jake huffed in annoyance, chewing aggressively on his bread.

"I cannot help it! And it is not as though I could do anything about it. She is.. after all, to be wed soon." he spoke with his mouth full of bread.

"To a duke's son too.." he silently added before walking away and to his room.

The old man sighs, taking an old photograph he always kept on his chest pocket. He stared longingly at the girl in the picture who was smiling widely, a rose tucked on her ear.

Jake covered himself in his thin blanket, staring at the ceiling. There was no denying that he held affection towards you. You, who was a free spirit that was a stark contrast to the rigid expectations of the society and constraints he had experienced throughout his life. He had never met anyone like you—curious, admiration towards anything, and your willingness to engage with him and his work.

You made him feel seen and valued, something he rarely feels in the society you both lived in. You didn't care about money, you weren't disgusted by him when he touched you, you didn't push him away.

He loved you dearly, yet it was nearly impossible to have you as his.

"Papa, I do not wish to marry just yet, I beg you!" you exclaimed as soon as the Duke and his son has left your estate.

Your father merely glared at you over his shoulder before completely facing you. "You will marry! You should be grateful that they insisted on coming here rather than us having to go their estate!"

"But—why? You and Mama promised you would grant me a few more years after my 18th before arranging my marriage!" you argued, nearly in tears.

From behind you, your mother's nose flared in rage.

"Do not think we are unaware of your growing relationship with the gardener! My God, what would people say?" you turned to her, your eyes wide in shock.

"Wha-"

"Everyone in this estate has been observing you both and has not failed to tell us when something prosperous happens between you both. You are marrying the Duke's son, and that is final." your father walks away, leaving you with tear stained eyes as you hear your mother's heels click as she too, walks away.

Ever since that day, Lee Heeseung has begun to make his presence known at L/N Manor by visiting frequently.

Jake still had to work, your mother insisted that he shouldn't be sacked for her own reasons. Although, Jake already knew that she only wanted to rub the reality that he wouldn't be picked over a Duke's son in his face.

Everyday he came over to do his duties on the garden, you'd still be there, but this time with a tall handsome man beside you with your arms linked with him.

You'd still be sat under the tree, but there would be a man beside you with his arm around your waist. He'd still see you in the greenhouse, but instead of gushing over the fruits you've planted recently to him, it would be towards Lee Heeseung now.

Despite all of that, he continued his work until the roses he was tending to were now healthy and beautiful again. His work was now done, he had no more reason to keep coming back on the estate's garden.

Today was his last day. Although the Earl disliked him a lot now, he was paid such high amount for his last paycheck.

Maybe this was their way on telling him to move on and never show his face to them again.

As he was bidding his farewell to the beautiful garden, he was startled by a voice calling out his name. The voice so soft and familiar, his heart beat increased immediately at the sound.

"My lady.. If they were to see me- if they were to witness you conversing with me.." he looked over your shoulder as he stuttered, his heart beating too fast for it to be healthy.

"Come along with me."

"But-"

"I order you." Jake's eyes widened before he nodded.

He followed you, looking over his shoulder in nervousness. He was glad to talk to you and be in your presence once more without the Duke's son beside you, despite the risk of being seen with you- he'd gladly take any consequences (not really) just so he could see you for maybe the last time ever.

You led him inside the greenhouse and when the door closed, you turned to face him. Your former stern face was now worried and in sorrow.

"In three days' time, they are to host my engagement ball with Lord Heeseung." Jake furrowed his brows, he didn't want to know any of this. He had hoped you ordered him to come with you to bid your farewell or throw him a hug.

"My lady, you are aware that it would be most unsuitable for you to extend an invitation to me." he whispered as if someone other than you would hear.

"I am aware, let me talk." he shut his mouth real quick.

"I have little affection for this marriage; I intend to escape on the day of my engagement party." Jake wanted to jump in the air and scream in joy when the words processed in his mind.

He held back and tilted his head, looking to his side. "I understand, my lady, but surely you recognize that it is impossible? With everyone in attendance at the party, there is no way..."

Your frustrated sigh made cut him off. He gulped, he could already see where this is leading, and he doesn't know whether he's up to it or not.

"That is where you come in," you say, stepping closer. "I beg for your help. I am sure.. you would like to, would you not?" his face softened as he felt the warmth of your hand upon his cheek.

He inhaled sharply, his hand coming on top of yours as he too stepped closer. "I do, trust me. However, do not expect success from me."

The nod you responded with filled him with warmth all over, and with his heart controlling him, he pressed his lips to yours. Your lips was what he expected it to feel, soft and warm against him as you both moved in sync. It was full of passion, love, and comfort.

Pulling away, he rested his forehead against yours, his hands now on your waist.

"In three days time." he whispered.

"I shall wait for you." and just like he did a while ago, you pressed your lips against his once again.

Sunghoon stared at his friend as if he had grew two more heads. He was crouched down on the ground with Samuel (their small pig) who was drinking his water on a steel bowl beside him.

Meanwhile, Jongseong rested his dirty hands on his hips, looking at Jake with an amused expression.

"Allow me to reiterate your words," Jongseong said with amusement. "You wish for us to assist you in arranging Lady Y/N's escape in two days' time? How amusing." He scoffed and laughed.

Jake groaned, kicking the grass on his feet. "Do not jest! I am incredibly serious." he furrowed his brows.

"You can not be serious. And then what? She escapes and we face imprisonment? Are you listening to yourself, Jaeyun?" Sunghoon finally spoke, standing up from his position.

“I assure you, I am quite earnest in this matter,” Jake said with a gentle, resolute tone, his voice betraying his weariness at trying to persuade his friends. “I am relocating at her behest, and I would go to any lengths for her.”

He paused, casting a resigned glance at his friends. "Yesterday, we shared a kiss. Is that not sufficient evidence of my intent? Must I then demonstrate my affection before you in a more explicit manner?”

The three of them fell into a moment of silence. Sunghoon, visibly distressed, ran his fingers through his hair, while Jongseong, deep in thought, chewed his lip in quiet deliberation.

Sunghoon scratched his head aggressively before speaking. “Doesn’t your grandfather have a secluded cabin tucked away somewhere? You could take her there—no one would be able to find you.”

Jake looked up, his eyes lightening up before shaking his head.

“Yes, he does, but getting there requires a thirty-minute boat ride. Unfortunately, we no longer have a boat, which is why gramps no longer insists we live there.” he responded, obviously crestfallen.

Sunghoon looked down, muttering a small 'oh.'

Jongseong looked at both his companions, inhaling and looked at Jake straight in the eye. “Actually.. my late father had a boat. Mother no longer values it, so you could make use of it.”

Jake smiled widely, thanking both of his friends. Now all he had to do was tell his grandfather.. and make sure your escape would be successful.

To say that he was nervous was an understatement, he knew that the moment he utters the words "help" and "escape" his grandfather would deny immediately.

So here he was, eating supper across his grandfather who looked like he was getting chased down by a bear with how fast he was devouring his food.

"Whacha staring at for kid? Eat." the old man grumbled, pointing at his untouched plate.

Jake cleared his throat, “Gramps, the cabin you have—would it still be livable?”

His grandfather looked up from his plate, raising a brow. "'Course it is, I expect so. Left that ruddy cabin clean before I had to move here to take care of 'ya." the younger merely nodded.

The old man leaned back on his chair, exhaling. "What are you planning on, Jaeyun?" he asked, squinting his eyes at him.

"Lady Y/N requires my assistance in.. escaping her engagement ball in two days' time." Jake whispered, playing with the soup infront of him. He shut his eyes, ready for a lecture when he heard the seat of his grandfather moan against the floorboard.

Jake sighed in defeat. Even though he would have Jongseong's father's boat, he would not have the key to the cabin. It's not like he could keep the lady cold outside or in a middle of a river.

Before he could stand up and retreat to his room to come up with a new plan, his grandfather dragged a chair beside his and sat down. The older man's wrinkle filled hands dropped a key and an old photograph on the table.

“I admire your bravery, son. Had I been less cowardly, I would have done exactly as you have in the past.” he looked at his grandfather, who merely gestured towards the photograph.

Jake's nimble fingers took the old and worn out paper, staring directly at a woman who had a rose tucked in her ear. She looked oddly like the woman who has his heart in her hand, he thinks.

"That is Adelaide L/N. Lady Y/N's late grandmother." his grandfather whispered longingly, smiling slightly at the sight.

“What we had… was something society would not view in a favorable light. Thus, I let her go, despite her pleas for me to take her far away so we could live the life we desired together.” His grandfather sighed deeply. “I was overwhelmed by fear of scandal, and it overshadowed my love for her.”

"Gramps.."

“So, I will not tell you to stop. But I will urge you to be cautious. I have told you once, and I tell you again: I do not wish to receive my grandson’s head on a platter,” the old man said sternly, then patted his grandson’s shoulder and gave him a firm side hug.

Smiling gratefully at his grandfather, he leaned on to his side as he looked at the photograph still before taking the key.

Now all he had to do was take you away.

The day has finally come and so far it was going pleasantly, for your parents atleast. Everyone in the ballroom was dressed beautifully, congratulating you and Heeseung for your engagement. They were all convinced that you both were inlove, which was far from the truth.

You had been at it for hours, greeting guests and dancing. You had started to lose hope, maybe Jake realized that what you asked for was incredibly stupid and risky.

Just as you had fully lost all your hope, a sudden shout from outside took everyone's attention. It continued until everyone was now crowding over the entrance of the venue.

You gulped, it was now or never.

"Excuse me." you had tried to pry Heeseung's arm away from you, but he held on to you tightly. With furrowed brows, he looked down on you. "Where are you going? It is dangerous to go wandering around alone."

"I truly only wish to retire to the powder room."

"If you insist. Please, be careful." you only nodded as he finally let you go. You practically rushed to the comfort room, gathering your dress in your hands so that you would not trip.

Yesterday, you received a letter from Jake. Explaining what he had planned for today. You could nearly recite the whole letter if someone would ask you to for the many times you've reread the letter.

Dear Y/N,

Everything is set. I will not disclose in this letter what I have planned entirely in case this letter falls on the wrong hands. On the day of your engagement ball, my friends will create a disturbance outside the venue to draw attention away from you so that you could flee without anyone's watchful eyes. I understand your concerns, but please know I did not coerce them into this; they insisted, saying it was something they had long wished to do. Should this distraction fail, simply excuse yourself to the powder room, but enter the men's; there is a large window there through which I will be waiting. Once you are out, we will escape together to a place where no one will find us.

I know it is not yet appropriate to express such sentiments, but I must tell you in advance. If all fails, remember that my love for you is unwavering, I would give up my life for you if I had to. I am deeply grateful for your trust.

Yours forever,

SJY

Entering the men’s powder room, you felt a sense of relief when you found it empty; any unwanted company would have made the situation quite awkward.

Just as he said in the letter, there was a huge window and through it, you could see Jake who's worried eyes widened at the sight of you. You rushed towards the pane of glass, unlocking it and sliding it up.

Jake helped you climb over the window, and once your feet touched the ground the door of the powder room burst open. There stood Lee Heeseung, his brows furrowed as he looked between you and Jake.

Grabbing Jake's hand, you made a run for it as you both ignored Heeseung scream for you to come back.

You both continued to run, repeatedly tripping and looking over your shoulders every few seconds. The grip you had on each other was tight, no intentions on letting go.

Finally, you reached a huge lake and a figure waved you both over. “It’s all set up. You two should hurry; Sunghoon just got escorted out. The fool actually punched me in the face,” said the taller man, gesturing towards the boat and indicating his eye, which was beginning to swell with a bruise.

Jake nodded, patting the unfamiliar man's shoulder before guiding you to sit on the boat. He boarded with you and pushed the boat away with a canoe. Before the boat could go far, Jake spoke.

“Thank you so much, Jongseong, really. Please tell Sunghoon that I owe him my life!” he shouted, which earned a stern glare from Jongseong.

He merely sent a thumbs up at his friend and a salute to you before running away to avoid getting you two caught.

Jake now faced you, a smile on his face.

“I scarcely believed you would truly follow through.” you whispered, bringing your knees closer to your chest. The boy across you chuckled, biting his lip, overwhelmed with nerves and joy.

“I told you, I would do anything for you. Even if its the last thing I’d ever do."

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transparent-peach · 3 months ago

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Hey loves! Hope you’re all having a great morning/day/night. Okay so here we go again. I can't put down my phone when it comes to writing so let's go. Yeah i kinda went deep into writing and i am glad i did. Hope you’re all feeling the same! Today i bring you another one with our man James.

warnings: smut, bit of ch0king, curse words, alcohol, tobacco products

James McAvoy x Reader <3

it is a bit long, hope you don’t mind it!

(more than 3k words)

Drunk In Love

Luckily you were invited for the after party of the premiere of Split, since you worked with the crew. You are a set designer. You were a bit nervous to be in the same exact room with the whole crew of move Split. It was sweet to remember all the actors from the set of the movie, and how much they were so different. Especially James. He seemed to be very enthusiastic about his job. You looked up to him because of this.

———————————

I was anxiously fidgeting with my empty hand since the other was full of with a glass of expensive champagne. I was wearing a nice black dress with red bottomed high heels. My necklace sparkled in the yellowish light as i walked past the actors. I sat down to the table that had my name tag on it.

"How are you my beautiful Y/N?"

My smile grew bigger as i looked at Elizabeth, my coworker. She was my favourite woman in the whole set. Eliza was in her fifties but if i didn't know, i wouldn't tell.

"Kinda nervous. You know i get nervous when i smell too much millionaires."

I joked around as i took a sip from the champagne.

"It is okay, darling. May you join me for another one?"

She raised her glass up a bit so i could see it. It was empty. I nodded.

We went for drinks and I knew that if someone recognise her we must have to stop and have a chat. It happened that way. She was a very talented designer so she gained some fame along the way.

"Enjoying the gathering?"

A man came up to her and stroked her arm.

"Yes James, thank you. You were amazing in the movie dear. I knew yellow was your colour. Especially when you were half naked. Not so unfortunately that happened many times. We liked it, didn’t we, Y/N?" She let put a small laugh as she was toying around with me, poking the side of my torso. I smiled, tried to hold back my laughter, looking down to my shoes. "Are you enjoying this shitshow?"

She winked. She was a very charming woman and she had huge confidence in her hands. One more thing about her. Her husband was the director.

"Yeah, kinda enjoy it, yes. And you, Ms.?"

He was basically asking for my name as he turned to me.

"Yes Mr. McAvoy."

I held out my hand.

"Y/N Y/L/N."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, i think we have met before..." He held it, instead of shaking it he gave a short kiss to my hand.

"Okay kids, i will go enjoy my drink from a nice distance. Get to know each other."

And i haven't mentioned... She read people like books.

"Yes, we met before. I was the woman who rushed back and forth with the props. I think i helped Elizabeth with your clothes when you played… Hedwig i guess."

"Yes! I remember now. Sorry, there was so many things happening on the set."

He scratched his head and smiled a bit awkwardly because of the fact he forgot me.

"It's okay, Mr. McAvoy. I'm not that recognisable and memorable human being."I smiled at him as he shook his head.

"No it's nothing like that. You are an amazing artist, love. You know... Fuck it let's have a drink. It would be a pleasure if you join me for a cigarette too."He looked at me with questioning what i want.

"A scotch please." I searched for the pack of cigarettes in my purse. As i came to realisation i don't have it in there i just took the glass of bourbon.

"Am i not scotch enough for the lady?" He joked around as he opened the back door for me.

"Trust me, you are scotch enough." I laughed softly at his comment. He gave me a cigarette, and he took one out for himself too.

"I'm not a big smoker, i just do it occasionally." He started to explain it to me like i was a parent of his.

"Okay, Mr. McAvoy, i deeply understand you at this point, thank you." I joked around with him until he lightened my cig.

"Call me James, sweetheart. I like it when women are saying my name like that, but i guess it is just a weird kink of mine." He looked me in the eyes and we remained serious for a couple of seconds before he burst out laughing at the same time as i did. After the fifth glass of whiskey i was having a really great time. I let myself go with his flow, i took all of his dirty jokes very well. When i shot back with an even dirtier one, i enjoyed watching his eyes grow wider. It was always the mixture of surprise and amusement on his face. I thought he was as unpleasant as the other millionaires i have ever met but it was a a pleasant surprise that James had more up his sleeves than other people. It was like two totally freak laughing their ass of in the first step in a concrete stair. He was charming, he made me blush a lot. But i never let him know that i enjoy him doing that. It was my body that told him. And his body told me some things too.

"Well, James. I must say i had a great time with you, but i guess it's time for me to go." He gave a small, bitter laugh before he refuted me. He was admiring me. His eyes was scanning the whole body of mine. I stood up, his eyes were following my silhouette and he copied my activity.

"Where do you want to go love?" He placed two fingers under my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. His fascinating ice cold blue eyes.

"Well, i don't see a ring on your finger." I said with a smile, completely ignoring his question.

"No ring. Yet." He took a step closer, closing the gap between us, and placing his hands on my sides, gently pressing me against the cold wall of the building behind me. He leaned in, his breath brushing against the shell of my ear, whispering.

"If you want to enjoy my company for the rest of the night, i had to make sure." I looked into his dreamy eyes as it darkened under the weak lighting. He was breathtaking in that suit. He let his hands rest on my hips as he let out a small chuckle at my statement. His fingers curled into the fabric of my skirt.

"And now, that you know that I am very much single..." His gaze grew more intense as it traveled down my body to the hem of my skirt, his eyes lingering there for a moment before looking back up.

He gave me a passionate kiss, as i leaned closer to his body.

"Yeah, James. You may take me home."

His arms tightened around my body and a sly smile played upon his lips as our kiss deepened. In that moment, James could scarcely believe his luck meeting such a beautiful, captivating woman, who was all too willing to leave the boring party with him. He pulled back slightly and met my gaze, his voice dropping to a lower register.

"Let's go, darling."

I totally forgot about how drunk we were, but he had a private driver anyway. We quickly and inconspicuously got into his black Mercedes and he told the driver to take us home. He couldn't keep his hands to himself. The whole ride was overheated with sexual tension between James and me.

We arrived at his place, actually, that was more like a palace. He opened the door for me, and turned the lights on before he suddenly got on my lips.

He couldn't get enough of me. His hands roamed over my body as if they had a mind of their own, desperate to feel every inch of my soft skin. He leaned in close, his lips grazing the sensitive skin of my neck, whispering breathless words against my skin.

"You're addicting as fuck."

At this point i couldn't decide if he was speaking from his mind, his heart or his erection. Or this was all about the big amount of alcohol in his system. "You can't complain either."

"If i remember correctly... I never did."

'What a sassy bastard. I think i like him.'

He lead me to the bedroom of his, unzipping my dress while he was stealing kisses from me. His eyes darkened with desire. It didn't take long to reach a bedroom, his mouth never leaving me for a moment. He took my dress of, as his eyes filled with lust and admiration. I began to unbutton his shirt, and the moment i took it off of him, i nearly gasped in ecstasy. He pushed me gently onto the bed, his body hovering over mine as his hands began to explore the curves underneath him. His fingers danced across my skin, sending shivers down my spine as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He chuckled softly, the vibration of his laughter tickling my stomach. He whispered sweet nothings in my ear. I felt his hardness pressing against me, I couldn't help but pulled him closer.He's got a wicked grin on his face, eyes locked onto mine. His fingers brush against my skin, sending shivers down my spine.

"Ah, you're gettin' bold, lady." he whispers in that smooth Scottish accent of his.

He leans in close, lips inches from mine.

"I want you."

I whispered to his lips, as i caressed his naked upper body. He took off his pants and tossed it to somewhere in the room. He leaned closer for a kiss and i pulled over a bit. I was teasing him so hard, he almost lost his mind. He chuckles, a low, husky sound, and his eyes flash with desire.

"Oh, you're a wicked one, aren't you?"

He leans in closer still, his breath hot against my skin as he whispers.

"I've got just the thing for a ladies like you."

His hand slides down to cup my sex through my clothes, his fingers tracing the outline of me through the fabric.

"God damn, James."

I let out a small moan. He went lower than i expected, slowly pulled down my red panties. I slide fingers through his hair as he left kisses on my stomach. He looks up at me, his eyes burning with intensity, as he continues to leave a trail of kisses down my stomach.

"Ah, you are so bloody beautiful," he whispers, his voice husky with desire. His fingers slide further down, parting my folds and finding the source of my pleasure. I feel his tongue playing with my clit. He found just the right spots in and out for me to almost lose my mind. I was moaning in pleasure as the scottish went down on me. He looked me into the eyes and i saw a little egotistical smile on his face. I felt everything at once, and it was magical. He's got a wicked glint in his eye, and he's clearly loving every second of this.

"Ah, you're so responsive, Y/N" he whispers, his voice muffled by my flesh. He continues to lick and suck me with renewed intensity, sending me spiraling into a vortex of pleasure. He suddenly got up and i almost lost my shit. I looked up to him in absolute disbelief. He let out a charming chuckle as he got back to kissing my lips. I felt his hardened cock against my womanly part, made me blush.

"Look at you."

I wiped off my remains from his beard and pulled him back to my lips. He lifted up his head as he pressed two of his fingers inside of my mouth. I was soaking wet already, but when he ran his fingers covered my own saliva along my pussy, i moaned for him. He was doing something right and i felt my heart racing. He grins down at me, clearly enjoying the effect he's having on me.

"You are so fuckin' hot when you moan for me like that." he growls. He positions himself between my legs, the head of his cock teasing my entrance.

"Tell me how badly you want it" he demands, his voice low and commanding.

"So bad. I want it so bad James."

I licked my lips and ran my fingers through his beautiful brownish hair. He sent shivers down my spine as he slipped his cock inside. I felt every inch pounding inside of me. We both moaned as he buried his head into the meeting of my shoulders and my neck. I couldn't take my eyes off of his veiny arms which had attractively tense muscles. He's got his eyes closed, lost in the moment, as he starts to pump into me with a slow, deliberate rhythm.

"Ah, you are so tight" he whispers against my skin. His hips flex and release, sending waves of pleasure through my body.

"Look at me." he growls, his voice low and husky. He opens his eyes and meets mine, our gazes locked in a fierce connection. He keeps pounding me. The rough kisses and the excellent work of his waist pushed me to my edges. I deepened my red nails into the skin of his back, making him moan. My legs started shaking and my back arched for him, just for him to make faster moves and bite my shoulder. I was looking at him with playfulness in my eyes, as i took a deep breath. After catching my breath from the lack of oxygen, i turned the situation around. I was straddling him and looked deeply into his eyes. He was sweating, his lips were wet and a bit apart from each other. He was catching his breath too. But i couldn't let him as i sit comfortably onto his cock. He's got a look of pure lust on his face, and he's clearly struggling to keep himself in check as I start to move on top of him.

"Fuck." he groans, his hands gripping my hips tightly. He looks up at me with those intense eyes of his, a smirk playing on his lips.

"You are so fuckin' hot like this." he growls. His fingers dig into the flesh of my hips as I continue to ride him, slowly building towards our shared climax.

"Yes, James!"

I let out a loud scream as i looked up to the ceiling. His hand was on my throat, grabbing it just right.

"Or should i call you Mr. McAvoy now? "

I slowed down and lead closer to him. Our lips were inches away. I loved teasing him. He chuckles darkly, the sound sending vibrations through my core.

"I think you can call me whatever you like," he purrs. His hand slides from my throat to cup my face, his thumb brushing over my bottom lip. "You are in control here, sweetheart " he whispers. But even as he says this, his hips are starting to buck up into me again, a telltale sign of how close we both are. I leaned toward him to invite him to a playful, passionate kiss. I started to ride him faster and i placed my hands on his chest. I almost cried out loud when he hit my most precious spot inside of me. I felt his hand tightened around my neck, made me feel hornier than ever.

"Oh god, James! Oh god..." I shut my eyes in pleasure, moving my hips a little slowly. He's got a triumphant grin on his face, and he's clearly loving the fact that he's got me right where he wants me.

"Ah, you are so close." he whispers against my ear. His hand tightens around my neck just a little more, and I can feel his cock pulsing inside of me as he starts to come. "Open yer eyes," he growls. I do as I'm told, meeting his gaze with mine as we both reach our climax together. He chuckles, a low rumble that vibrates through his chest. I got back to bed. Lying next to him was a dream. I placed my head on his chest and felt my heart pounding like crazy. He caressed my head as i drew little circles on his abs with the tip of my fingers. I felt his heart too. It was beating fast, but then again so calming. Feeling the temperature of his body, his breath was getting back to normal.

"I guess i haven't really had the opportunity to say i like your accent." I said with a calm tone. I still couldn't raise my head up.

"Ah, you're a wee bit of a charmer, aren't you? You could've just say it while i was inside of you." He laughed at his own joke, made me chuckle. His hand continues to caress my head, and I can feel his fingers tracing gentle patterns on my scalp.

"I'm glad you like my accent," he says, his voice warm and husky. He pauses for a moment before continuing. "I've always thought it was one of my best features."

"Yeah. It is one of the best feature of yours. There's another one that i cannot say now."

I playfully let out a small chuckle and finally looked up to him. I couldn't help but started to think about this time we spent together. It wasn't that long but i enjoyed every second with him. He made me feel comfortable and happy. It made me kinda unpleasant to think it was just another one night stand. He raises an eyebrow, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Ah, I think you're getting a wee bit too comfortable with me, love." he says, his voice low and teasing. His hand slides up to cup my cheek, his thumb tracing the curve of my jaw.

"But don't worry about it being just another one-night stand," he whispers. His gaze is intense and serious for a moment before softening into a warm smile.

"I've got plans for you."

"Is that a problem? Me being comfortable with you?" I playfully raised an eyebrow. "I guess we were more than a bit comfortable with each other."

He chuckles, a low and husky sound. "Aye, we were more than comfortable with each other" he agrees. His eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles. "Problem? No, not at all," he says. His hand slides down to wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to him. "I rather like it."

"I like you. " I gently put a kiss on his lips, and take a deep breath. "Crazy scottish."

He laughs, a warm and happy sound.

"Ah, you're a wee bit crazy yourself" he says, his eyes sparkling with amusement. His lips curve into a smile as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me close.

"I like you too" he whispers against my ear.

#james mcavoy x y/n #james mcavoy #james mcavoy x reader #james mcavoy smut #writing #james mcavoy stories #split movie #smut #writblr #writer stuff #actors

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mamayan · 1 year ago

Note

Hii can I request Gyomei x prostitute fem reader nsfw.....plsss

Gyomei Himejima x Fem! Reader

cw: NSFW • Darker Themes • Attempted murder (of reader) • Fem! Reader • prostitute reader • Fluff/Comfort • Size kink • Breeding kink • Sub/switch! Reader • Edging/Denial • Overstimulation • Oral (F)

“Namu Amida Butsu. Pitiful creature.” He doesn’t need vision to understand what was going on in the lively square of the red district tonight.

Normally a bubble of carnal desires and pleasure, many forgot the festering underbelly of this part of the city. He’s on a mission, needs to focus and do his job, but something keeps stopping him.

Possibly the kakushi by his side crying softly, pitying the poor soul on a trial meant to convict whether the offending party is guilty or not. How can an upright samurai be in the wrong in any way? It must be the fault of the lowly whore which should have known her place. Such disgusting beliefs made his gut churn, but he’s aware there is little one can do in this situation.

He needs to leave, walk away, and kill the demon living just on the outskirts of this district.

So why won’t his feet move?

“This bitch is getting what she deserves, and let her serve as a warning to all the workers in the district!”

“Oh no, is he going to decapitate her?!” The kakushi beside him gasps in horror, drawing his focus away from his chants to regain his will power and instead breaking his concentration as he focuses on the slurred drunk words of a man. The crowd is thickening, attention drawn to the spectacle but most of all, the promise of blood shed. “Gyomei-sama…” it would appear the kakushi wishes him to intervene.

He can’t. He’s not supposed to anyway. He knows nothing of the woman’s crimes nor any clear indication on how to pass judgement.

“For trying to run from the great Habuyoshi who mearly admired the beauty! For daring to raise these weak fists at the great Habuyoshi! For biting the dick of the great Habuyoshi! I am putting this filthy dog down!” The crowd was cheering, jeering him on, even begging he kill her after violating her for the crowd to watch, or wanting to do it themselves. Gyomei had heard the red light district was filled with glistening gold and red, and it enrages his heart to think such an auspicious color is tied to such a festering diseased place. No one won here. Ever.

Before the kakushi could move, he’d already made his presence known, easily knocking the samurai unconscious.

The crowd stared in awe and fear of the enormous man wielding only prayer beads, defeating the well known samurai of the area so easily with only a single blow.

“Who owns this prostitute?”

None speak up for a moment, tension thick in the air as a savior appears for a once thought dead woman.

“M-me…” an elderly woman far past her prime shakily steps out, her guilty and shifty expression not seen by the man looking at nothing, but her nervous energy radiated off in waves for all to feel.

“I’ll buy her.”

“Gyomei-sama?!”

“Huh—?”

You awoke with minimal pain.

The jarring events of the night prior swirling in your mind and dumbfounding you because what was that?

You nearly died because a strange man grabbed you off the street while you were running an errand and tried to rape you in an alley way. Of course you fought back, but it seems that’s a crime if the perpetrator is stronger than you.

Tears fell despite your anger. You were no longer a prostitute, your freedom seemingly bought out of kindness but you knew not to trust anything given freely. There’s always a price, and your life thus far had taught you to be witty and at least somewhat charming. Though it hardly did much for you last night when the crowd roared for your execution like your life meant so little.

Your new owner is more terrifying than your previous house mother. At least she’d been open about her greedy vile mindset, but this man is nothing short of an enigma. Why did he save you? What is the purpose? What should you do now? It left you riddled with anxiety as you sat in a bed more comfortable than you could ever remember sleeping in, the blankets and pillows too of better quality than the red light district ever provided even for the top courtesans. You’d been given plain but high quality clothing as well, allowed to bathe alone, and then fed a vegetarian meal so delicious you wondered if the Buddhist monks had it much better than you gave them credit for.

Now you slept, in a room all to yourself, with no idea of what was to come next.

Did he want you as a wife? That didn’t seem right though. He didn’t appear the romantic type, and his size alone mildly frightened you despite his soft demeanor and speech. Were you to act as a servant? Did he wish to sell you to another area and call it good karma, leaving the matter as that? It ate away until you could no longer stand it, rising from the bed you longed to stay in forever, and slipping out of your room to explore the estate.

It’s shockingly empty.

Not a soul in sight as you explored, stealing bread from the kitchen as you walked, pondering the possibility of ghost servants. You felt silly and dismissed it, but the eerie silence was begining to get to you. You turned and headed for an opening, finally finding a serene courtyard. You were awestruck by the landscape, attention quickly caught as you spot a small pond with a bridge.

Hope bloomed and then flourished as you spotted several fat pretty koi swimming about, different colored patterns moving around and hypnotizing you.

“Ssshhwink!” You jolted in shock at the loud sound of a blade being struck, eyes honing in on the source as you see a training ground of sort in the distance.

Shock was the least of your current emotions as you watched the enormous man, your supposed savior for now, swing around an axe and spiked flail attached to a very long chain. Surrounding him were multiple dummies, made from steel, as if you weren’t already shocked silly. For someone so large, he was graceful and fast, skilled in each tiny movement and it nearly made you think of a dance you’d seen long ago at a festival when you were a child.

He’s no one ordinary. That’s clear enough, and he’s not a samurai it seemed either.

He could kill you quicker than that man before and he could’ve killed that man too but chose not to. Your heart trembled, because you knew those that hesitated left empty handed, and if his goal was merely to rescue and abandon you then you’d find yourself back to being sold off or worse.

You needed him to keep you, no matter how his appearance made your knees weak.

“Are you hungry?”

One week. You’d been in his estate one week and this was the first conversation you’d had with him since that night he saved you.

“Namu Amida Butsu. Thank you.” He accepts the lunch you prepared, as you learned fast that once he’d brought you into his estate, he’d been abandoned by his cooks. His servants who cleaned or kept things in order were incredibly well trained and avoided you similarly. You’d been cooking his meals and leaving them outside his room in the morning, and he’d usually be gone for most of the day until very late evening where you’d leave his dinner outside his small study or prayer room.

This was your first chance to initiate contact with him, and it made you swallow your nerves as you came up eye level with his abdomen. He accepts the tray, sitting at the small table in the open courtyard. He repeats his chants while you observe him up close for a moment.

He is handsome in a rugged way. His scars surprisingly only adding character. His thin lips and long lashes would’ve made many woman jealous as well.

“This is very delicious. You’re a good cook.” You startle lightly from your day dream as you stare at him with wide eyes, his face still tilted down as he eats.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

He hadn’t expected to find your company so pleasant.

Your presence was easy, comfortable and enjoyable after you warmed up more, chattering away similarly to the love Hashira at times. It made a strange sort of fondness form in his chest as he listens to your opinion on cherry blossom season, and why mochi is best served cold.

He finds himself rushing now after missions to return to his estate, something he’d never have done in the past. If only to hear your greeting of “welcome home” which makes the estate he’d been given actually feel like one.

You held his hand a few days ago, pulling him quickly and quietly to feel the soft fur of a sleeping cat you’d taken to adopting. He remembers the feel of your skin, the fragility of your hand within his, and how tiny you are. It shouldn’t affect him like this. Yet even as he sits below the icy fall of water in a lotus pose, his aching erection won’t ebb.

He’s ashamed the first time he wraps one big calloused palm around his leaking shaft and fucks his fist to the thought of you.

He’s even more ashamed when those thoughts haunt him in your presence.

He’s alarmed however when he wakes tonight to the sound of his shoji sliding open. Not by the intruder, your footsteps much louder ironically when you attempt to be quiet, but by the timing.

He released his cock and laid still, strangely nervous to appear asleep should you check.

Why were you in his room?

He chants in his mind when he hears fabric rustling, then a plop on the floor as something slides and falls. Were you… undressing?

His room felt hotter, or it may have possibly been him, as the sound of you nearing alerts him to a reason you’re here tonight.

“I know you are awake.” You sound bemused.

“I know you should be in bed.” He replies more shakily than he’d hoped to sound.

“I am trying, but you won’t seem to move over for me.” His breath hitches, and before he can think he’s scooting aside and feeling anxious for the first time in a long time. He’s too old now to be fearful of such a tiny woman, your charms and allure certainly difficult to dismiss but you shouldn’t make his hands sweat like this.

“Fuck,” he doesn’t mean to curse, but when you press your nude figure tight against his side, he nearly embarrasses himself by finishing what he’d started before you’d interrupted. Not that he nor his cock minded your company, in fact it twitched as if excited about your presence.

“It feels better if you face me.”

“What are you doing?” He feels flustered, hands desperate to grab you but unsure exactly if he should.

“Seducing you…?” He hears now the unsure tone you speak with, the way your fingers curl into his yukata to prevent him from pushing you away. He shifts and turns, the futon thankfully custom for his size and fitting you fully as he finally touches you. Your face first at least.

“Are you looking at me?”

“Yes.”

“Am I pretty?” He chuckles, smile making you press your thighs together due to the sheer masculine charm he oozed.

“You are soft.” He drops his voice as he presses a hand to the middle of your back and pulls you closer. His body radiates heat like none other you’ve ever felt, all pillowy muscles and smelling of sandalwood and sage, and something else beneath it that made your teeth ache. “You are considerate and empathetic.” His hands smooth over your cheeks, nose, forehead, and lips. “You are cute and witty, I find I laugh most in your presence.” His thumbs lightly graze over your eyes. “You are intelligent. I feel I can confide in you and be understood.” Down your jaw and chest, over your shoulders and down your arms to your hands shaking lightly. “You are also mischievous, I never know what you’ll come up with…” his hands come back up, one loosely and easily encircling your entire throat. “Like sneaking into a man’s room in the middle of the night and climbing into his bed naked.” He means to sound chastising but his lust is difficult to mask. Your giggle lets him know you take it lightly.

“Not some man’s room… your room, Gyomei.”

It’s like you want to set him off.

“Should I go?” He can’t deny the way it ignites him to have you here.

“No.” He groans lightly, hands finally taking the dip you’d both been aching for and feeling your chest. “You don’t get to leave now. At least not until you explain what is it is you search for.”

“Relief?” He frowns, but becomes quickly distracted by the malleable flesh in his hands, thumbs brushing over pebbled nipples and drawing little sighs from you.

“A-and… I guess confirmation.” He pinches on little bud, rewarded with a tiny moan and the arching of your back.

“Confirmation for what?” He murmurs, debating if you being atop him would be easier.

“That you like me.” He halts, startled by the confession.

“You thought I didn’t like you?” He clarifies, finally deciding and easily lifting you up by the hips to sit on his stomach, thighs on either side of him.

“I didn’t know if it was the sort between lovers or not…” he nods, finally understanding.

“I want you deeply, sweet girl.” He doesn’t miss the shiver which shakes you when he calls you that, smile tilting higher into a crooked smirk as he lifts his hands and runs them over your ass, gently squeezing each cheek and then moving to touch your thighs.

You don’t speak as he feels you up, quiet aside from small pleasurable mewls when he plays with your breasts or spreads your ass and let’s cool air hit your cunt.

“Do you touch yourself?”

“Y-yes…?”

“To the thought of me?” You feel your body heat.

“Yes. Always to the thought of you.” Your answer makes him groan, hips rutting up into nothing as he squeezes your hips.

“What do I do to you then, in your fantasies.” He’s desperate to know, desperate to recreate it. Your nails dig into the muscle on his chest, dwarfed on top of him like this.

“Oh, well, I… sit on your face.” He quirks a brow at the odd fantasy, unfamiliar with such an act.

“And do what?”

“Let you lick me, down here.” He allows you to guide his hand to the warmest place on your body, his mind blanking as he realizes.

“Oh.”

“We don’t have to do that though, let’s do what you want—oh!” He’s hauling you up like a doll onto his face, thighs spread on either side and your pussy spread and easily accessible now for his mouth. Gyomei doesn’t hesitate now, tongue slipping out as dragging through your folds as if he’s done this before. He hasn’t but he makes up for it with his wide and powerful tongue and eagerness to learn.

“Gyomei! I—ngh~!” Your moan when he licks at your pussy is more than he ever imagined. The wanton swivel of your hips as you grind down only make him more feral, large hands firmly on your ass and keeping you pressed down. Oxygen the least of his concerns as he licks and sucks until your writhing and digging your nails into his hair while you cry out for him.

He likes this act much more than his own daydreams of being intimate with you, the heady taste of your slick and sounds of your pleasure like a drug.

“I’m going to cum—!” You’re so close it’s a wonder you don’t tip over even as he lifts you completely off his face.

“H-huh?” You sound dazed and confused, so cute it makes him want to settle you down on his face again but he stops himself.

You’re on your back, looking up at his figure not blanketing you, one arm keeping him up as he lifts your chin and kisses you. You taste yourself on his lips.

“You can’t cum yet.” You feel irritable having your orgasm denied, pouty expression unseen but tone converting your emotions.

“Why?” Gyomei smiles, kissing you again and forcing your mouth open to play with your tongue, sliding his thigh between your own so you can grind on him for relief.

He breaks away with a string of saliva connecting you for a moment, warm breath fanning over you. “It will hurt taking me, but it will hurt less if you cum while I’m inserting it.”

Oh. It made sense actually.

Except he doesn’t move ahead to fucking you like you wanted, asking you for more fantasies you‘ve had of him.

“Using your fingers…” and he opened you up more than any man has ever with his fingers alone. Two alone stuffing your poor cunt seemingly to max and once more bringing you to the edge until you felt like crying when he pulled away.

“Shh,” he cooes, mildly upset he’s causing you distress and equally amused by how cute he finds your grumbling as he rearranges you again. This time he just rolls your clit gently with his thumb and kisses you, lavishing your neck in love bites you’ll surely need help covering in the morning and then giving attention to your breasts.

“Gyomei please!” Your third denial felt nearly painful, your core cramping with the desperate need for release as you wiggle and struggle beneath him.

“You’ll be very sorry if I take you now, be good for me, little lotus.” He kisses away your tears of frustration, once more spearing you open with two fingers until you’re moaning and rolling your hips into him, then he adds a third.

He stills when you hiss in pain, concern painting his features as he moves to pull them out only for your hand to stop him.

“It’s okay! I’m alright, it just stings a little.”

“We can stop here, I’ll make you cum and we can go back to sleep—,”

“No! I want you, please.”

He feels hesitant until you begin to relax, body finally accepting three fat fingers stretching your little hole out as slick drips down his palm and soaks into bed below.

“G-Gyomei please let me cum, I can take you even if I do, I just need—!” You’re so close again, but he’s stringent as he pulls free from your soft tight walls with a pop. Your whine of frustration goes ignored as he finally reaches his own limit.

“I’m going to sit you in my lap.” You’re pliant in his hold as he sits up and drags you with him, placing your back to his front as he unties his yukata and allows himself to be free. He gives himself a few pumps, balls swinging heavy as he sits down with you.

You regret looking down in curiosity. Having known some men, despite being quite big physically, can have small penises.

Gyomei isn’t one of them apparently, his caution not without cause as you see the enormous cock he carries, the thick veiny shaft frightening and leaking pre-cum like a stream. Even his balls were ridiculously large, and you briefly pondered taking his offer of going to sleep.

You shook it off as you felt a gentle kiss to your temple, body relaxing as he began another round of torture to your clit with more gentle rolls with his fingers.

“Relax for me, you’re being so good, all mine,” he’s mumbling, body tense as he holds himself back and prepares mentally to keep calm as he lifts you up and lets the plush tip kiss your entrance. Then you’re feeling pleasure and pressure like nothing you‘ve ever felt before, mind going blank as you cum while he stuffs you to full capacity, Gyomei similarly struggling as he moans feeling your gooey walls contract and try to push him out even as gravity drags you down on his cock.

“Gyo—hah—!” You can hardly breathe, body struggling to connect the pain while you’re writhing pleasure as he wraps an arm around your waist and lifts you up and down, still touching your swollen nub, bullying his cock into you one inch at a time. Your squeals of shock and euphoria nearly make him lose it, and when his tip finally smushes up against your cervix, he cums hard.

“I-I can feel it filling me—,” your eyes roll back as hot spurts of cum pump into your womb, Gyomei’s arm like an anchor as he groans and rocks you gentle against him.

“Feels so good…” he’d never known sex could feel like this, that you felt like this, but he’s unable to pull out despite his cock becoming sensitive. Instead he keeps you in place, plugging your little hole with his cock and keeping every drop of cum inside you where it belongs.

That thought startles him. Did he want to make you pregnant? Did he want a family?

More than anything—

Gyomei groans, hushing you as you whine and wiggle in his lap, feeling his cock swelling thick and hard again inside you. “Gyomei—s’too much,” you feel like you’ll burst, body already exhausted but he’s hardly done it seems as he begins to bounce you again, feeling more akin to a toy as his shaft splits your pussy open. The slick squelching noises blend with your moans and his grunts, his cock burying itself as deeply as possible each thrust as he murmurs praise down into your ear.

“So good for me. Taking all of me so well,”

“Do you like feeling my cum inside you? Do you want more?”

“I’m going to fill you up again, make you nice and full.”

“Going to put a baby inside you, let everyone know you’re mine now.”

You’re gone, too cock drunk to do much else but cum around him and moan, drool spilling down your chin in a thin line as he takes away all coherent thoughts.

You awake the next morning sore and groggy, face confused as you look at a room not your own.

You glance down at the arm keeping you trapped, merely draped over you but so weighted you’d need to wake him to move.

He got you filthy last night, cum coating all of you inside and out before he’d washed you and put you to bed. The memory brings heat to your face as you burry yourself into the bed and smile.

He’s yours now too.

Your story to be told as one from rags to riches.

Dividers/@cafekitsune

#Yan answers #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #gyomei himejima #kny smut #gyomei himejima smut #Gyomei x reader #Gyomei x reader smut #Gyomei x fem! reader #demon slayer smut

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baxndaid · 3 months ago

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human vox

x reader 📺⛽🎤

an ; request more vox pls i love him, most of this is just me yapping

The year was 1952 and you worked in the upcoming film and TV industry. While it was just a small job reading through scripts to find typos or getting coffee for the more important figures, it was a job nonetheless and you enjoyed it.

A new show had quickly skyrocketed in popularity since its debut, a game show where you would have to answer questions in order to win the, most likely branded, items. Something like a washing machine or a supply of toothpaste. If the producers felt generous that day however, the prizes would rise in value, the show once giving away a brand new sleek black Fiat 1900. While the simple yet new and exciting premise of the show might’ve drawn viewers in, the host of the show made them stay. He was charming and handsome, he always dressed the part with a dapper suit and his hair was always done perfectly. Whenever he spoke, it was like the whole stage brightened up a bit, at least, that’s what you thought. His stage name was Vox, you never really liked that name - too sharp and aggressive, you thought. His real name was Vince, and you liked it better, though you’d never tell him that. You hardly ever had any interactions with the man other than handing him the script that the sponsors wanted him to yap about. He was charming, and you liked him - unfortunately it was just a pipe dream. You didn’t bother chasing after him considering you were just a small time employee while he was the face of the whole show, thousands of American women had their eyes on him especially when they turned their black and white TVs on between 5-6PM.

Fortunately for you, the producers had caught a glimpse of you backstage and wanted to spice up the show a bit. It was getting boring, other than the host himself there was nobody else the audience could attach themselves to. So, naturally, the best idea would be to introduce a beautiful woman, who was smart and shy - the “role model” if you will. You fit the bill, and how could you say no? You would be beloved by every household for your wholesome nature, (and especially loved by all the men in unhappy marriages and liked looking at the young women on screen.) And if you won? you could keep the winnings.

And you would win, because the show was now rigged in your favor.

Simply put, they wanted to paint you as the underdog, the vulnerable lady who simply wanted a chance to make some money. So when you would answer every question, even the ridiculous ones, correctly, the audience would gasp in disbelief at your amazing hidden knowledge and then tune into the next episode to see more of you and Vox. The truth was, the only thing hidden was Vox sliding you the answers to each question onto your desk. It was genius, really, the producers seemed to love the idea and so did Vox. Anything for ratings. You were still a little apprehensive, but you couldn’t back down after already signing the contract.

After winning one episode and becoming around $10,000 richer, Vox strategically pulled you in for a hug and gave you a polite kiss on the cheek to congratulate you for your “victory” in front of the camera. He was an amazing actor, you thought as he said his goodbyes to the audience and the cameras stopped rolling. Maybe he should ditch this studio and try his luck in Hollywood.

Once the room was no longer focused on Vox, he turned to you, his smile less big and forced and a lot more casual, “That was your first taste of show business, how’d you find it? Pretty nifty eh?” He prodded you with his elbow gently.

“Yeah, it was um- different… to what I usually do.”

“Oh yeah, forgot you worked here prior.” He looked at you up and down as he pulled a cigarette and lighter out from his pocket, “Say, since you and I are going to be working with each other from now on, why don’t we blow this antsville and I’ll buy you a drink?”

As he waited for your answer he placed the cigarette in his mouth and lit it. You were surprised and albeit excited by his offer, but you decided not to go out drinking with a famous guy in the middle of the afternoon. Something something responsible adult.

"A drink? Oh, I don't know about that sir... It's rather late."

He scoffed and exhaled, a puff of smoke engulfed you as you coughed. "Don't be such a square." He looked at your face again whilst bringing the stick up to his lips once more, "And don't call me sir, makes me seem old. Call me Vince," He paused, "Or Vox, I don't really give a rats ass."

You nodded and took a small step away from him in a pathetic attempt to get away from the smoke. He smirked.

"I take it you don't smoke?"

You shook your head

"Look at you, I'm not surprised." He took another draw of his cigarette, "So, about that drink?"

You were going to be honest, you couldn't say no. He was so unbelievably pushy that it was practically impossible to turn him down without feeling like shit afterwards. He was THE Vox, America's beloved host! How dare you even think of saying no. So here you were, in his luxurious house, sat on his couch that probably cost more than your entire living room, and with a glass of expensive scotch in hand that he generously poured you.

He returned with his own glass and sat down next to you, laying his free arm behind your head. He took a sip, his gaze never leaving yours,

"You're a pretty thing, can't believe you haven't been casted already, or snatched up by some of the big dogs like Vogue." He said, a smile plastered on his face. "I think you and I will get along just fine."

_____

As he predicted, you and Vox did indeed get on well, normally chatting (gossiping) about who knows what in his dressing room after work. He had told you about his old job as a TV salesmen, and how he has this weird hatred for radios. Something about them being outdated and boring. You never understood. He learnt a lot about you too, your past relationships, your family, your favourite animals - you two grew close and he relished in the idea of getting even closer. The network had given you another job since you could only appear on Vox's show so many times. It was a higher paying job but not all that stressful since you now had someone to talk to about it.

The press had caught wind of your friendship and naturally began to speculate on it. You won his gameshow 3 times now, maybe you simply slept with him in order to get the answers? Maybe it was luck? Are you two truly just friends or are you dating? Or just putting on a show?

Vox loved it, he loved your flushed face whenever you'd read the title of a gossip paper involving you and your new friend, he loved touching you a little more intimately whenever you two were hanging out in public, and he especially enjoyed kissing your hand or cheek under the guise of being a gentleman in front of any fans that just so happened to meet them out and about. Luckily for you, these rumours went nowhere and remained as simple speculation. Did he want you? yes, he couldn't even deny it. You were funny and understanding, even when he wasn't in a good mood. You knew so much about him and he knew so much about you - the fact that you were gorgeous was just a plus. Additionally, you were fantastic for his public image; a darling little thing like you attached to his hip just fuelled his already massive ego since he loved showing you off. The only problem was - you were as dense as a brick. He often got a little frustrated since his flirtatious efforts were fruitless; you couldn't tell if he was being for real or just acting for publicities sake, so you opted on just ignoring his romantic (and sexual) remarks towards you.

And don't think for a second that you'll be getting a real soppy confession from him either. He would buy you expensive clothes and take you out to fancy dinners, he would hold your hand while you crossed the street together and he would cuss anybody out if they were pissing you off. His feelings for you would be confirmed by him sloppily kissing you on his desk one random afternoon after a few drinks and tears; maybe not the most romantic way to say "I love you" but it was close enough for him and close enough for you too.

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myherobkg · 2 months ago

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KNOW YOUR PLACE; K. Nanami

This is a continuation of this from my main blog -> @misdeliria jjk college au

Nanami saw you earlier this morning. You looked beautiful as you dozed off in the lecture—you couldn't keep your attention on statistics for more than twenty minutes at a time. It gave him an excuse to brush against your arm to remind you of your notes.

You didn't look back at him as he followed you out of your seats at the end of the lesson. His eyes were glued on your shoulder, restraining himself from reaching out.

He followed you to his next class all the way up until your path diverged, but you surprised him by turning around suddenly.

"Oh, I didn't realize how close you were behind me," you quickly apologize sheepishly.

"It's alright," Nanami dismisses smoothly. He's pleasantly surprised you turned around.

"I know you have class, but could I keep you for a second?"

Nanami nods and follows you off the path in the shade of a tree.

The campus was bustling at this time of day. Most students preferred morning classes to get out of the way. People were on their computers in the grass or reading a book and listening to music, and the skies were clear with a cool breeze.

"I'm so sorry for just leaving the other morning," you say miserably, bowing slightly. "I had an appointment I couldn't miss, and I completely forgot about it the night before. And I didn't want to wake you up."

"It wouldn't have been a problem if you had other engagements to wake me up," Nanami tells you.

You shrug, scratching the back of your arm. "I thought it might've been awkward. Like, you would regret it or something, and I didn't want to see your face when you kicked me out."

"You had to leave anyways."

Rolling your eyes, you shift your weight between your legs. "That's not the point, Nanami."

"Then, what's the point?"

Up until this moment, Nanami's eyes had been watching you. Watching all the thoughts flash through your head from your expressive eyes that never focused on him. He knows you're infatuated with him and adores the attention and entertainment you offer, but he knows he can't make you happy.

You and most of the student body came from wealthy families, but Nanami was an outlier. He didn't come from money. He understands that he's gained a rare opportunity to make connections and stumble upon whatever high-paying desk job his wealthy peers can offer him.

Nanami could use you to get a leg up in connections, and you're so supportive that you would offer opportunities on a plate for him.

"There is no point," you sigh dejectedly. "I just wanted to apologize for leaving so abruptly, and now I have. Don't hold it against me, is all."

"I would never do such a thing," Nanami remarks dryly, lips twitching upward.

You scoff, rearranging your arms into a new position for the fourth time since arriving under the tree. "Don't you have to get to class?"

"The professor emailed this morning and canceled it for the students that needed more time on their essays."

Nanami contained his smile as if he could see the lightbulb light up above your head.

"I assume you've submitted your final draft already?" You ask tentatively, to which Nanami nods. "I was going to grab coffee with some friends and hopefully open my computer within that time. Would you like to join us?"

Nanami checked his watch, weighing the risk of getting trapped in an uncomfortable situation with obnoxious personalities.

"I have to get some work finished," he opts to use as his excuse.

He watches your face fall, but you quickly cover the disappointment with a haughty expression.

"I get it. Genius guy, Kento Nanami, is too good for people like us." You throw your hair over your shoulder and spin on your heel to leave. "I'll see you around then."

Nanami stays under the shade, watching you disappear into the traffic of people commuting to their classes.

Yeah, it can't be anything more than this. Short, fleeting moments. As a young, wealthy woman, well-known in social circles, you were unattainable for someone like Nanami. It wasn't sustainable in the long run. One would end up resenting the other.

And he didn't want to use you. Nanami would rather be a slave to an office job than take advantage of your status.

He just wanted you—but was it the same for you? You were very sought out by the male population at school. Your attraction to Nanami could be superficial. Temporary.

He wouldn't risk caving into your interactions if it meant you'd eventually get bored and move on to the next shiny object.

Deep down, he knew he was being ridiculous. You wouldn't do anything like that; you weren't that type of person, but Nanami just couldn't understand why it was him?

Who was he in an ocean of suitable men?

He knew, deep down, he was setting himself up for disappointment.

—please reblog & comment if you like it! do not copy or repost ©

#kento nanami #nanami kento x reader #nanami x reader #nanami kento #jjk kento #kento x reader #kento x y/n #jjk nanami #🙋🏽‍♀️ — deli wrote this

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snoopyearss · 8 months ago

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Hi dear ! I am so in love with your Nanami Kento writings that OMG I am crying (it's tears of joy no worries) I just love this man so much ! I was wondering if it's okay for you to write a request where Nanami dates or marries a fem! Shy reader ? How would he flirt ? As she also slowly gains confidence to initiate things with him cause his presence is so comfy for her.

It can be just all fluff or with tinges or spice/nsfw if you are okay with writing it.

Just wanted to thank you again for your stories and can't wait to read more Nanami posts. You're awesome! 🩶

Hi angel! I’m so happy you love my writing! This is such a cute concept and honestly, I see him with a shy partner. I hope I did it justice! 🖤

CW: some smut!

It was a rainy afternoon, you were cooking you and your boyfriend dinner and swaying your hips along to some smooth jazz he played on the stereo. You looked over to him, fully invested in the book he was reading. You smiled as you walked over to him and crawled into his lap.

“Hi honey,” he chuckled. “Hi,” you snuggled up against his chest. “Dinners’ almost ready, I just placed the roast in the oven.”

“It smells wonderful.” He kisses your nose, he knows it makes you weak every time. You both start at each other for a while, something you guys like to do.

“You’ve grown more comfortable around me,” he pointed out. “I have?” You sat up in his lap. “You have. Do you remember when we met?”

You pretend to look clueless since you loved it when he would tell the story. “I’m assuming you would like me to tell the story?” You nod your head in excitement as he chuckles and holds you tight in his arms.

Flashback

When Nanami Kento first met you, it was at a local coffee shop you would frequent. You would see him walk in around the same hour every time you went; 7:30am. The both of you didn’t know each other very well, he would give a “good morning” and you would smile in response. It wasn’t very often you saw a man that attractive so it made you nervous. Even if it was just a simple act of hello.

On this day however, you were running late to your job and didn’t have the time to make yourself a cup of coffee. You grabbed your keys and went straight over to the cafe, refusing to deal with your coworkers on an empty stomach and no caffeine.

“Hello, may I have a-”

“Can you speak up? I can’t hear you.” The cashier interrupted you.

“I’m sorry, um…May I have [your order] please?” You requested as the cashier heavily tapped on the screen. “Will you be paying cash or card today?”

“Card.” You opened your bag to look for your wallet.

It was nowhere to be found.

“Shit.” You mumbled to yourself. You fished around in your purse to find any loose change, but no luck. “No way, I forgot my wallet..”

“Ma’am, you’re holding up the line.”

“I’ll take care of it.” You heard a warm sultry voice speak from behind you. You turned around to find that same handsome man who comes in regularly. Your eyes shift to the left wall and stare at the clock. 7:30am. They then shift back to his big chest, causing your face to heat up.

“O-Oh! Um, you don’t have to! I’ll just come back later, no big deal.” You softly replied. You couldn’t look him in the eyes without stuttering. “I insist, I know what it’s like to not have your daily caffeine intake. I’ll take the green tea with a blueberry muffin as well please. Just combine our orders together, Thank you.”

You softly thanked him and looked down in slight embarrassment. The both of you went to the pick up line and waited for your orders. “Thank you again. I will pay you back every dime.” You promised.

“There’s no need. Any thing for a gorgeous woman like yourself.” His compliment made you eyes widen a bit and cause your face to heat up.

“My name is Kento,” he stuck out his hand to shake yours. “Y/n.” He smiled, he thought your name was beautiful. From that point on it changed the trajectory of your relationship with him.

You found yourself going to the coffee shop instead of making coffee at home, purposely going so you were just in time to see him. And he would be there to see you. He would pay for your coffee and pastry just so you both can talk about the most random things while you wait for your orders. He never made you pay for it, that wasn’t up for discussion.

It got to a point where you both would come in an hour early just to have time to sit and talk with each other. Nanami is a very organized well thought out person. Before making any big decisions, he thinks them through completely. But with you for some reason, you made him not question anything and just go for it. He knew you were a shy girl, based off of what he had seen. So he tried to make his advances as subtle as possible.

“You know Y/n, you’re such great company. I would love to take you on a date,” your eyes widened. “A date?”

“Yes. And as much as I love out coffee talks, I want to take you out. When we can have all the time in the world to get to know each other.” He told your free hand that was rest on the table and caressed it. Your body felt hot.

“I-I would love that.”

So here you are, getting ready for your date with Nanami. You truthfully never thought this would happen, but hell are you grateful it did. You smooth out your dress and apply more lip gloss before grabbing your purse and opening the door to the blonde staring back at you.

“Good evening, gorgeous.” He hands you a bouquet of flowers.

It was a few hours after your date and you invited him back to have a glass of wine. You both sat on the couch while jazz played on your tv.

One thing led to another and you two are getting touchy on your living room couch. The both of you finished two bottles of wine and it was flowing through you. He placed a big hand on your thigh and caressed it like he does with your hand. Your breath hitches at the feeling and you spread your legs lightly to invite him in.

“Dirty girl, do you want me to move my hand further up?” He cooed. You whimpered and nodded your head lazily. “When you’re with me, you use your words. Understand?” He takes he’s other hand to hold your jaw to face him.

“Y-Yes, I understand,” you whimpered. He chuckled. “Look at you baby, you can barely look at me in the eyes. Shy girl. Do I make you feel like this?” His face was so close to yours at this point.

“Yes,” you whimpered out.

He caressed your cheek and brought his face closer. His lips softly grazed yours as you both exchanged a passionate kiss.

Nanami found your shyness cute, especially in the bedroom. He couldn’t get enough of your cries of pleasure and the way you would drag your fingernails down his arms. The first time you both had sex, he noticed you holding back.

“I need to hear you, princess. I need to know how I’m making you feel. Don’t get quiet on me know” he would moan and he drags his dick im and out of you at a pace that has your mind going fuzzy.

“O-Oh my god, Kento! Fuck! Yes yes yes yes yes,” you chanted as your eyes rolled back. “There you go baby, let it out.”

Sex with Nanami could honestly change someone for the better. After that, you genuinely felt unstoppable. Your shy exterior was etched away with each moment you spent with him. You found yourself more talkative with people at your job, even taking bathroom breaks to send your boyfriend some risqué photos.

‘You’re such a tease pretty girl, I’m coming to get you on your lunch break.’

And he would fuck you senseless in the backseat of his car. And you wouldn’t give a fuck about who heard you, or how you looked when you clocked back in. That’s how he made you feel.

After a few more dates of going to various restaurants, museums, jazz bars, and your favorite, at home dates, you both came to an agreement to move in together. It was one of the best decisions both of you could’ve ever made.

End of Flashback

“You love when I tell that story, don’t you?”

“Who wouldn’t?” You grinned and got up to check on the food. Nanami placed his book back on the shelf and shoved is hand in his pocket.

“And I want to keep telling it forever,” He murmured as he pulled out a small black velvet box with a ring inside.

#jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk smut #jjk fluff #jjk anime #jjk nanami #nanami kento #nanami smut #jujutsu nanami #snoopyearss

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mrsjavierpena · 1 year ago

Text

not (un)expected | part 1

javier peña x f!secretary!reader

summary: Javier has one, only one very strict policy: to not ever fuck a co-worker; specially if that co-worker is his own secretary. but you make it such a hard promise to keep

chapter warnings: narcos' spoilers, smut, grinding, unprotected p in v, kind of exhibitionism, (light?) angst, a lot of cursing (its javier pena), kinda slow burn/slow start, unspecified age gap, work dynamics, reader has no name/descripition (but has hair long enough to pull), no use of 'y/n'

IMPORTANT: English is not my first language, i've done my best with grammar but there will be mistakes (fuck prepositions i hate them), so pls overlook those

wordcount: 7k

an: this is part one of a two part story; feel free to reblog and leave your comment. im so happy with the reception of this fic, its my first time posting something here, thank you guys so much for the support - also, if you want to be tagged in part two (really don't know when is coming out) just lmk in the comments.

hope you enjoy!

Javier was known for being an asshole.

Everyone in the office called him that; not to his face, of course, since he was the boss, but he knew, and honestly? He kind of did it on purpose. Being sent back to Colombia to be the CIA puppy didn't in fact thrilled him, but he also wasn't there to make friends. A little bit later than one month into his new position and Javier had already changed secretaries twice. Just by being himself.

The first one was a kind old lady that liked to talk a little bit too much for Javi's taste - which was none. To be fair, he tried to handle her. He listened to her talking of her yougest child finishing college, but she asked him if maybe he could get him a job at the deparment - what in the actual fuck? -, she felt the need to tell him that her older one and his wife were trying to have a baby - he wondered what gave her the impression he wanted to know that her son was fucking someone raw. She just wouldn't shut up. She left not much after a month, at his first snap - took him too long, to be honest.

The last one was a young man fresh out of the academy, who thanked him for the opportunity every time he saw him - which, since he was just outside his office, was pretty often. Despite how thankful he was for the job, he wasn't very interested in working, at least not as he was to flirting with another secretary in the floor below. But that wasn't the worst part, the kid had no idea what he was supposed to do and would go ask Javier for help for every task given to him - he swore he was shaking everytime. Javi didn't care that he was young and was learning, he didn't receive enough to raise a child at work. Didn't last a week.

Javier had headaches just by the thought of who would be sent next. With his current luck, it could be his ex-fiancée. He definitely didn't expect you knocking on his office door and introducing yourself as his new secretary. He was speechless for a moment; you were the combo of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life with a killing black pencil skirt, so tight it showed all your curves. You gave him a firm handshake and asked if he needed anything from you, and, when he denied, that was it. You went to your desk; didn't ask him questions, didn't tell him your whole life, didn't thank him for an opportunity he didn't give you, just went to do your work.

For a while, Javier was glad that you didn't give him any trouble, but that was until you quickly learned his habits. As soon as he arrived the office, you would receive him with a polite smile, a cup of black coffee and his schedule for the day. When he dove into files and forgot he was a person, you would bring him his lunch and wouldn't leave until he had at least a bite - as if he was a kid, what an absurd -, you would sense when he was stressed and would excuse yourself into his office with coffee and a pack of cigarettes and leave without saying a word.

He hated how much he appreciated that - even worse, how he liked that. It didn't take long for him to want to fuck you, to become obssessed with you. And it wasn't just him, he could see every other men in the department - single or not - turn their neck as they watched you pass by. But it was not just that you were hot, you were nice too; he would watch you from his office - not in a creepy way, though, he just didn't have anything much better to do - and you would distribute smiles and polite greetings to every soul that passed your desk, people would constantly stop by to small talk with you and you would let them be for five minutes or so before politely dismiss them to go back to work. Every fucking body there adored you.

Things had always been very professional between you both. Javi held back his flirty instinct and you- well, you didn't even seem interested in him at all. That was untill a very stressfull friday with Stechner giving him shit again. He left the building straigh to the bar, ready to drown himself on whiskey and find a quick fuck for the night, not expecting at all to find you aparently doing the same. Javier considered just ignoring you and go sitting with one of the women that turned their heads in his direction as soon as he entered, but something inside of him made him take the few steps to the bar and get the stool beside where you sat.

You almost spilled your drink when he approached.

"Sorry" you coughed "Wasn't expecting to see you here"

Your body language told him that you weren't comfortable with him there, he saw your backs getting as straight as when you were at work, and immediately regretted joining you.

"Well, that makes it two of us" he raised his hand to order his drink "What's the occasion?" he points to your drink with his chin.

Your grip on your glass seemed to tighten and you took one very long sip before answering dryly "I could ask you the same"

"Work" he raised his brows "It's always work"

"Did something happen after I left?" you pinched your brows.

"No, no, just people giving me shit"

"Oh, I see..." you sighed and silence fell between you.

"So..."

"Well..." you both started talking together and laughed akwardly.

"You go" you said.

"Am I bothering you? Cause I didn't mean to, I can sit somewhere else" he didn't even know why he was asking, he should've just said goodbye and left. He was already standing when your hand found his arm.

You sighed heavily "No, not at all, I'm sorry I gave that impression, sir" you seemed genuine, that's why he sat back "I'm just stressed"

Sir. Why were you calling him sir in a bar?

"Do you want to talk about it? If there's something bothering you we can discuss it and sol-"

"It's not work related" you were quick to interrupt "Work is, honestly, the simplest part of my life right now"

"Things must be pretty bad then, 'cause I see the amount of papers on your desk everyday" that made you chucke "The offer still stands, if you want to"

You took a big breath before dropping the bomb "Broke up with my boyfriend"

Now that was a new territory. He knew absolutly nothing about your life besides you moving to Colombia from the United States; he didn't know anything from your life back there, not your family, friends, definitely not about your boyfriend; and now, somehow, knowing you didn't have one anymore made it even harder for him not to want you.

"What happened?"

"Well, actually, it seems like we had already broken up a while ago and he just forgot to send the memo" you drank your whole half glass all at once ", since he was fucking every pussy that crossed his fucking way"

He was stunned. One thing about Javier was that he was never to deny any woman; honestly, he found every body attractive and apreciatted every woman that gave herself to him. He couldn't say he had a type, but you, with what he saw with your clothes on? He would fuck you every minute of everyday he could. It was absurd to believe someone would give up on you.

"Damn!" he couldn't help but say loudly, making your eyes go wide as if just then realising what you had just said.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you this. I apologise, sir"

"You don't- don't apologise" he almost raised his hand to touch you, but stopped himself before "How did you find out?" you looked at him with raised brows "If you don't mind me asking"

"One of my friends called me last night and told me. She saw him at a bar with two women" you laughed, but there was no humor to be found.

"And you were still smiling at everyone at work today" he was impressed.

You smirked at him "Don't let my personal life mix with work, sir"

"Smart woman" he nods "We for sure have a reason to drink, then" waving his hand to the barman "Let me buy you one"

You don't even bother to refuse.

After three more glasses of what he found out was tequila, your shoulders were much more relaxed and so was your tongue. He found out that you and your ex had been dating for six years when you got the opportunity of job and had to move; two months had passed already.

"And you know what the worst part is?" your laugh is dry "I don't even feel bad because my heart is broken or any shit like that, it's just that is so fucking humiliating" you groaned with your hands on your face "I'm from a small town, you know, by now every soul there knows what he's been doing"

He had to laugh "That's what you're worried about?" you looked at him with false ofense.

"It's my honor we're talking about here!" he laughed even more "It's silly, I know..." you sigh shakly as you take another sip of your drink "But it is humbiling, being cheated on"

"I can't fucking believe anyone could ever cheat on you" he thought. At least he thought he did, but by the way you were looking at him - pinched brows and a curious look in your face, he had to have said it out loud "I mean, only shitty people cheat on nice people. Only shitty people cheat, that's it."

You nodded after a few seconds of silence "You're right, sir"

"You should stop calling me sir"

"I don't think so"

"Why not? We're already half drunk together at a shitty bar"

"Because you're still my boss"

Without any response to that, he looks at you. Really looks at you. Your eyes glassy from the alcohol, red puffy lips looking more appealing than ever... It would have been so easy to just lean in and kiss you. When his eyes came back to yours, it almost seemed like they were on his lips too, that you were leaning in too, that you desired him as much as he desired you and... Then it was not there anymore. Suddenly, you seemed farther than ever, backs as streight as always and eyes avoiding his.

"I should go home"

He agreed. He put you on a cab. He wished you a goodnight.

Then went back to the bar to find someone to not spend the night alone.

The next Monday, though, you seemed even more professional than ever. Wouldn't be around him more than the necessary, wouldn't look him in the eyes and it fucking bothered him.

"Yes, sir?" you entered his office after he called your name.

He sighs as he looked you up and down, his eyes lingering to your skirt pressing against your tights "How are you?"

"I'm fine" you hesitated "Why do you ask? Is something wrong?"

"Lying to me, 's all" your eyes went wide "Listen, last night-"

Your nostrils flared, your hands clenching into fists; you took a deep breath before interrupting him "I am fine"

"Ok, then" he raised his hands in defensiveness "It's just that last night-"

"Last night I was drunk!" you passed your hands through your face "I said things I shouldn't have and I am embarressed and would very much appreciate if we pretended that it never happened"

Javier was silent for a moment. He understandood your apprehension, but damn if he wasn't dismayed by it.

"Alright, 'm sorry I brought it up. But just to let you know, you don't have anything to be embarressed for, you have my word that I wouldn't hold any if that against you and..." and it was nice to talk to you "Yeah, don't worry about that"

You looked at him for a few seconds before nodding "You need anything else, sir?"

Many things, yeah. For starters, you calling him by his name; second, being able to have a casual conversation with you when alcohol isn't envolved and third, your fucking clothes off because he got embarrassingly hard just by looking at you. But instead, he only denied and you left before any other word could leave his mouth.

Javi knew it was for the best. Fucking you would be no good - well, he'd bet it would be hot as shit, but too much trouble for a one night stand. He had a whole city to fool around with, to be focused in someone from his work place, his own secretary, was nonsense. You never even gave him any hint you wanted him, if anything, the actual opposite; you told him yourself last night, personal life away from work.

Javi made sure to remember all that.

➫

He didn't keep those thoughts for long, though.

A few days later, you met at a bar once again. A better one this time and with half of the office joined. It was Feistl's birthday and he invited the whole department for drinks. Nobody could hide their surprise when Javi aproached them; usually, he wouldn't attend this type of gathering, in his rarely free times, he better prefered the company of a good whiskey and a woman, and his colleagues knew that. His employee had invited him just to be polite and that was clear, but he knew you were going to be there, Javi just wanted one more opportunity to prove to himself that you didn't feel the same way he did, that he didn't have the same effect on you that you had on him. Once that prooved, he could move on. So he was there on a mission, trying to be the most discrete he could as he watched you from afar.

The two of you seemed to be the reflexion of each other from across the table, tense bodies and drinks in hand, the only difference being you talking with your colleagues and him not making the effort. To his defense, people weren't trying to talk to him either. Honestly, Javier kind of felt like it wasn't just that they were surprised to see him there, it felt like they didn't want him there at all by some looks he was receiving.

He was okay with that, he guessed, he would much rather analyse your behavior outside work. You didn't seem to change much, honestly; maybe your smile were a little bit more genuine, but the conversations were pretty much the same he heard you have back in the office and it could have been the larger amount of alcohol in your system that night, yeah, but you seemed more relaxed alone with him.

After half an hour there, Javi couldn't bring himself to talk to you, you seemed too interested in a conversation about the new coffee pot in the scullery with another secretary. He was getting frustrated, in another times he would interrupt the other woman and flirt with you effortlessly; it probably had to do with the environment, you were surronded by co-workers, or maybe he was losing his touch - it was almost like he was too afraid to make the move.

Javi decided to leave soon after one hour there. He congratulated Feistl for his birthday, said goodbye to whoever recognized his leaving, paid his bill and passed through the door.

"Hey" he turned around at the sound of your voice, seeing you walking towards him "Are you ok?"

He ran his hand over his chin "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know" you shrugged "you kind of ran out of the bar"

"'S fine, you should go back inside" Javi pointed at the entrace with his chin.

You tilt your head to the side "I don't really believe you"

"I'm not asking you to" he crossed his arms "And, what, you wanna talk now? You've been quiet at work all week"

"We're not at work, though, are we?" you were quick to answer.

Javi looked you up and down "No, we're not"

"You know" you took a few steps forward ", it's not like they don't like you, they are just kind of scared of you"

Were you watching him too? Why would you say that? How would you notice?

He furrowed his eyebrows "Scared of me? Why?"

You looked at him with yours raised "You know how you act at work, don't you?"

Javi sighed and looked away. He did act like an asshole at work, it didn't seem to bother you, though. Your gazes met again as silence fell between the two of you and he decided to take the few steps left to get you as close as you never got before.

"Are you scared of me?"

You kept your eyes locked as you answered "No. You're not as bad as you think you are" you licked your lips "At least not with me"

The air thickend between the two of you, the only sound being the noises of a night in Colombia. There was no way you were not feeling that too, the way your bodies seemed to linger to each other's direction. He's sure he's not imagining the way your breath heaved, how your chest expansed, the brightness in your eyes.

No, that was real, he was not mistaking it.

A voice broke the tension, you taking a few steps back to a safe distant from him. You both looked in the direction of the sound: a woman was calling you, the same woman you talked all night, at the entrance of the bar, a few feet away from where the both of you stood.

"Maybe if you went back there and paid the next round..." he swore he saw expectancy in your eyes.

"Maybe another time" you nodded; you both knew it wouldn't happen.

You looked at him one last time before walking away "Good night, sir"

Javi nodded even though you weren't looking anymore and his eyes followed the sweet swing of your hips as you made your way back to the bar. He could hear the woman asking what it was about:

"Nothing" you answered.

He would disagree.

➫

Javier was in a terrible, terrible mood. Things weren't going how he thought they would go, not even close to it. Feistl got a good lead about the Rodriguez brothers, one worth following, and he could do nothing about it; had to look to his subordinate and say no to his face. In the beggining, Javi had plans on reediming himself by catching Los Pepes, making amends with the city and it's people by arresting those who he felt like helped to ascend. He felt like a failure, and by the look on Feistl face, he thought so too. To worsen everything, as if it could get any, he had a huge, massive amount of piles to go through.

He lifted his eyes from the paper for the first time in hours when you knocked at the door. He knew your shift had ended a couple of hours ago, but you decided to finish the paperwork of the day so it wouldn't affect his own work the next morning, even though you couldn't have finished it on time because of the extra work put over you. It was something he frequently saw you doing, leaving much later than the others.

"I am leaving, sir. Is there something I could do for you?"

He scratched his chin and sighed heavily "Well, if you could make this fucking paperwork disappear I would built a statue of you"

You exiled a short laugh "I'm afraid that's not possible, sir"

"No, it's not" he reclined on his chair and looked at your body on the frame for a few seconds "Have a goodnight"

You nodded and left. He stood up to get a drink right after, hearing some noises outside that must have been you grabing your stuff. You were probably the last person on the floor besides him, and soon enough he would be alone, like he had been for so many nights, working until late, only able to go home to shower and come back. It wasn't much trouble, though, it's not like he could sleep even if he had the time.

A soft knock on the door surprised him, glass and bottle on each hand.

"Sorry to bother again" you said with only your head in the room after he told you to come in "But do you want help?"

He looked at you, at the pile and then at you again "You wanna help me with that?" you nodded "Why?"

"Nothing better to do" you shruged.

He should've said no. Should've told you to go home and have some rest.

He should have, yes.

"Have a sit" he pointed to the couch with the piles of papers he's been on for the last three hours.

You closed the door behind you and something on his skin tingled. You had never been this alone.

"Want a drink?" you didn't hesitate in accepting, as if waiting for him to offer.

Javier poured you one too and handed you the glass, something you thanked him for as you took a sip and he sitted beside you. You two stayed in silence reading, the only sound being the papers as you tossed them around.

"Can I give you an unasked opinion, sir?"

He almost laughed at that "Go ahead"

"You're separating these by topics, I see" he nodded "Taking one paper at the time and seeing what they are and then doing them separetly " he nodded again "I think it would be quicker if we made piles by the specific topics you have"

"You mean..."

"I mean" suddenly you stood up from the couch and knelt on the floor. Fortunally you didn't see his eyes going wide as you took a pile in your hands and put it beside you "You have a huge office, you should put the files on display and organize them better" you looked at him while taking the other piles "You helping?"

He smirked and hushed to help you. He liked this side of you; more relaxed, kind of bossy, tongue more loose... It was a shame you only showed him when there was alcohol running through your system.

"This, if you don't mind me saying, is how I organize the piles on your desk when I bring them to you, but you seem to prefer the hardest way"

Fuck, he was getting hard.

It was nuts. Absolutly nuts. What the fuck was happening, what effect was that you had on him? You did nothing but say a few dirty words without intention. Completely. Nuts.

"I do prefer the hard way" came out of his mouth before he could control it. If you didn't notice the double meaning or chose to ignore it, he didn't know "But I never noticed, no" he sighed "Honestly, I don't even know how it got to this point"

The paperwork, somehow, did accumulate, even though all he did of his life was working.

"I understand, I can see how you get lost in work" your focus was on the papers and you didn't seem to notice how he shifted on his place on the floor, trying to hide the beggining of an erection.

With your efficiency and new way of working, one hour and a half later and almost the whole paperwork gone, you're on your third glass and him on his fourth. He's used to drinking whiskey, but it was still alcohol, and it was making his skin buzz. You had already took off your blazer - his own gone hours ago - , wearing a thin blouse with a very modest neckline; your legs were crossed, making your skirt move up a little, and he was going crazy with just the tiny amount of skin you were showing.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead" you didn't even move your eyes from the paper.

"Why didn't you go home?"

You don't talk for a few seconds and he took the opportunity to stare "There's nothing waiting for me at home"

That got him thinking about your moving there. To go from a small town in the countryside to a city like Bogotá, not knowing a soul; you had acquaintances, yes, but he saw you that day at the bar, they surely were people you liked to be with, but were not friends of yours. Javi had been there, too, actually, if he would be honest with himself, he was still in the same situation. When he moved to Medellín, he had those people he could go out with and grab a drink after work, but that was all; at least until Steve came into the picture, the person he never thought he would befriend with, the only real friend he'd had in years.

"Yeah, I kind of get that" your eyes meet "Work until late for a reason"

"I guess we both need to get a life, then" you smirked.

"Cheers to that" he raised his glass to you, you did the same until it clicked with his "So, life... How is yours going?" he tried to act nonchalant by moving his eyes on the paper in his hand "With that ex-boyfriend thing and all"

Your laugh was low "Don't do that"

"Do what?" he raised his eyes again to find yours still on him.

You tilted your head to the side "Don't go down that road when we're like this"

"Like what?" he caught the exact moment your eyes fell to his lips, so he casually wet them with his tongue. If he wasn't so absorbed by the thickness in the air, he would have laughed at the way your eyes shut and your head fell back to rest on the couch.

"Drunk and... Not thinking straight"

Javi raised his eyebrows "I like the winding thoughts I'm having, though"

"Yeah" the look you gave him made him shiver.

Without breaking eye contact, Javi belted down his drink to gain courage and slowly moved his body until you were pressed side by side, giving you time to get your space again if you wanted to.

"This fine?" his voice was barely louder than a whisper.

You nodded.

"What if I wanted to kiss you right now?" he rested one forearm on the couch to lean his face closer to yours.

You gulped as you stared into his eyes "Then I think you should do it before we-"

He didn't give you the time to finish your sentence before his lips were on yours. Your lips were soft, he could taste the whiskey on your tongue as well with the gums you would chew all day. His right hand went straight to your jawline to lead the kiss. It was not a lulled kiss, neither a gentle one, Javier was ruthless, taking out on your lips all the built up tension from the last few months. He couldn't believe it was finally happening. You were quick to follow his pace, your fingers grasping his shirt and pulling him even closer. The first moan you let out get Javi even more eagered, his hand passing down your body to grab your ass. You took advantage of his action and, before he knew, you were climbing up his lap, knees on each side of his torso, and once you were fully sitted on his lap, you both couldn't contain a moan. At that point, your skirt barely covered half your ass; because of that, he figured that you wouldn't mind his hands slowly rubbing up your tights until they reached the fabric and rolled it up your waist.

Javi parted your mouths to take a good look at you on his lap, his eyes wandered from your heavy eyelids, your lips puffy and red from the kisses, your blouse-covered chest raising and falling as fast as his until they got to the black thong you were wearing and he couldn't help but moan "Oh, fuck me"

"You like them?" your mouth came down his neck to give him wet kisses.

"How wouldn't I?" he held you by the nape of the neck and brought your mouths together again "I've wanted this for so long"

You released some kind of laughter "I know"

"Oh, do you?" he raised his brows.

"You're not exactly subtle for an agent" you murmured between kisses.

He snorts "Well, thanks for the insight"

Javi couldn't resist the urge to touch you through the tiny piece of fabric and you moaned at the pressure at your clitoris, but he moaned too at the wetness he found.

Javi didn't ask you how long you had wanted him, you were grinding on his lap at that moment and that was all that mattered. But he wished you had said it, that you had desired him as much as he had desired you, that all this time he had been imagining this moment, you were imagining it too.

"Fuck baby, you are so wet already" his tongue licked a stripe on your neck "All this for me?"

You answer was muffled by a moan; it seemed positive, but before he could confirm you were linking your mouths again in a searing kiss.

You started moving your hips on his erection and you both moaned at the pressure. Suddenly, his torso is being pushed down to the ground, chests pressed against each other, your fingers tangled his hair and pushed and he fucking whimpered.

Jesus Christ, he was in heaven and was not even inside of you yet.

You grinded furiously against him and he found it absolutly beautiful how you were using him to pleasure yourself and was not embarressed to do so. So. Fucking. Hot.

He felt like he was coming in any second.

"Fuck, you keep doing that and will have me cumming on my fucking pants, bebita"

"Oh, say it again!"

"What? That I'm within seconds to cumming?"

You moaned loudly at that "No- I mean, that too, that's hot, but- oh fuck"

"Bebita?" he felt you shiver at the pet name and chuckled "You like that, huh?"

You grabbed the nape of his neck and lowered your head to crush your lips to his again, tongues fighting heatedly. Javi started to feel that heat boiling at the bottom of his stomach, his hips grinded against yours and the pressure were just perfect; by the sounds you were making, you were as close as he was. Javi reached for you ass and grabbed it with both of his hands and squeezed, adding even more pressure to the grindness. At last, he sucked the pulse in your neck and you started to shake above him; that combined with the sweet noises that came out of you, he was gone.

You collapse on top of him, fingers unconsciously running through his hair; his members were sore and he was so tired and satisfied that he could sleep right there. The both fo you took deep breaths while your head rested on the gap of his neck and his on the floor.

"I can't remember the last time I did this" he was the first to break the silence.

"I actually do this everyday to my pillow" you mumbered humurously and he moaned.

"Shit, you're gonna be the death of me" his hand ran up and down from your ass to your backs, loving the feeling of your curves.

You raised your head to find his eyes and the moment was gone. You both realizing what you just had done, the before contentedness in him that was mirrowed in your eyes then turning into panic.

"Shit" you clumsly stood up. You put your skirt down as quickly as you could.

"It's getting late" it was already late when you came to his office "I should go" you should stay, he wanted to say.

But instead he only nodded. He knew it was for the best. He shouldn't have let it come this far.

You quickly get your stuff and wishes him a goodnight. His eyes don't leave you until you pass through the door, yours, though, don't meet him once.

He stayed there on the floor, cum staining his pants, and even though he was fully clothed, the room had never felt colder.

➫

The next day was pure craziness. After you left his office, Javi went home, took a shower and lied in bed thinking of what had just happened between the two of you and what would happen from then on until he had to come back to work. Before he could even get to his office, you intercepted him with a cup of coffee and the news of a surprise and excruciating slow meeting with the ambassador, which led to another one with the CIA and then the atrocious combination of them both together. By the time Javi was freed from hell, everybody else were already leaving; due to your situation, he thaught that would be your case too, so he was surprised to see you still on your desk.

"I was waiting to see if you would need something else from me before I left" was your answer to the question on his face.

"I think I'm heading home too, actually" after a day like that, he felt like maybe he could even get some sleep.

He had work to do, yeah, and usually it didn't matter to him if his mind wasnt in the right place - it rarely was anyways -, but he knew nothing productive would result from working in that state. Javi also wanted to talk to you; he had so many thing in his mind, what he thought about during that whole previous night: he wanted you. So bad he didn't even know how to express it, so much he let himself cum in his pants just to get the little you were wailing to give to him. And he was concerned about what your reaction to that would be, because it was obvious that you wanted him too, but your actions showed him that you didn't want to want him. All those thoughts were consuming him, but it would have to wait for another day, he didn't think that was the right time, not at work. Maybe he could invite you for drinks and talk things through or-

"I was wondering if we could talk, too" you interrupt his thoughts "About yesterday"

If Javi wasn't a trained professional, he probably would've had his mouth opened in absolut shock. It was like you read his mind.

"Of course" you both looked around the department, the couple people remaining already preparing to leave. Still, he opened his office door and nodded for you to come in.

You were flustered, nervous even. Javi didn't know what to expect from that talk, he wished you would cave in to your needs and fuck him already, but he felt like you wouldn't be easy on him. Honestly, he couldn't read you.

The both of you stood akwardly in the middle of the room, door closed behind you. He waited patiantly for you to start talking, for you to take the lead of the conversation.

"So" you sighed "I wanted to apologise"

His face contorted in a deep frown "What for? You have nothing to apologise"

"I do, yes" you shook your head "It was completely irresponsible and unprofessional and we shouldn't have done that"

If you said you were embarressed last time, about the things you had said on the bar, Javi didn't know what you could possibly be feeling at that moment: your face was getting red, your eyes wouldn't meet his, your hands squeezed each other in your front; he kind of felt bad he was the cause of your discomfort.

"You didn't do anything by yourself"

"I jumped on you like a crazy-ass-horny woman!" over your shoulder, you look outside to see if there was anyone to witness your voice raising; there wasn't.

Javi could barely contain the smirk forcing itself upon his mouth at the memory of you riding him in that very same floor, just a few steps from where you stood. He really couldn't contain the beggining of an erection, though.

"And I loved that" you looked at him as if he was crazy for saying it "I did!" he took a few steps in your direction "And honestly, if anyone should be blamed it's me, I'm the boss, aren't I? The authority in the room or some shit like that"

The way you look at him said that you agreed, that he should be blamed too, should've had more self control, but you didn't say it and that made him smile, the way you still tried to keep your composure at work.

You sighed "Still, it wasn't right and I'm sorry"

"I'm not" he took another step towards you.

"It's not the point, sir"

"I don't think you are that sorry either" your brows raised in surprise "And fucking quit calling me 'sir' now, there's just us in here" another step.

"I'm just-" you shrugged "I'm trying to be professional, that's all"

"Baby we're a little too late for that now"

"Jesus Christ" you pinched the bridge of your nose, he could feel the frustration exhaling from you "You don't like to make things easy, do you?"

"What's the fun in that?" the joke landed flat "I have a proposal"

That got your attention "I don't think I like where this is going"

"Well, that's the thing" he took one more step "I think you do. You fucking grinded on me on this floor until we both came. You want me. What are you so afraid of?"

"You're my fucking boss!" your exasperation made him want to laugh and scream out of frustration at the same time "I like this job, I want to keep it"

"I would never put your job in risk"

"You can't be sure" it was true, Javi barely had a say in anything, but he would do anything in his power for you not to lose your job, especially because of him "And even if this" you pointed between the two of you "didn't make me lose it, it would be living hell if people found out"

"I can be discreet"

You crossed your arms "You're not taking me seriously"

"I am, I promise that I am" he really was "I just- You gave me a taste of what it would look like and now I'm starving for more" he scratched his chin, a little embarressed he let that slip out "I would do anything to have you for one night, we don't have to take work to the bedroom"

"Oh" you snorted "there's a bedroom in the scene now?"

"What?" he raised his brows "You thought I was fucking you in my office?" you went silent "You fucking did"

Javi is no romantic man, he thought about fucking you in every place possible, in the bathroom there, against the nearest wall, but when truly thinking about taking you, it would always be in a bedroom, somewhere you both would be able to take your time.

"Do you fantasize about it?" a step closer "Do you touch yourself thinking about me?" your eyes wouldn't meet his, so he carefully took your chin and angled your head until they did "Where?"

You gulped "Where what?"

"Where did you imagine?" his voice was barely above a whisper.

"Your desk"

"Fucking dirty woman" he smirked "I'm gonna fuck you on my desk, bebita" he took you by the waist, colliding your body to his "And on my couch" his nose traveled from your cheek to your neck "On the fucking window so eveyone can see how pretty you will look with my cock deep inside of you"

"Shit" your voice broke, breathless.

"Do you want it? Huh? To be full of my cock?" you nodded "I want words"

"Yes" you puffed.

"Yes what?"

You looked at him with a defiant look "Yes, sir"

He had to laugh "You are the worst"

His lips collided with yours with so much fierceness he was surprised they didn't start bleeding. His hands were all over your body, your breasts, your back, your ass. You pulled his hair with both hands and he moaned. Javi wanted you so bad it hurt. He decided to be bold and lifted you skirt to your waist, then placed you sitted on the edge of his desk, each of your legs on each side of his hips, pushing everything that was on your way to the floor, paying no attention to anything that wasn't you.

"I hate how you kiss me" you mumbled frustrated between kisses and he pinched his brows.

"You have a very distinct way to hate things"

"You just do it so well" your hands covered his cheeks "Makes me want to do this everyday"

Javi couldn't help but to smirk "I don't see why we can't"

"Yes, you do"

"All I see is a gorgeous woman with tasteful lips" he reached your covered mound and passed a finger through your folds, making you moan loudly ", wet lips" he smirked "telling me she wants to kiss me foverer"

You snorted "I didn't say that"

"That's what I heard"

"You are so cocky" you rolled your eyes.

"Damn right I am" Javi pressed his erection to your thigh.

"Yeah, I felt it yesterday" your hands went to unbuckle his belt, quickly reaching for his cock through his underwear and pumping him a couple of times "You're big, sir"

Javi moaned and threw his head back, enjoying the feeling, barely believing it was finally happening. You put down every piece of cloth in your way to his thighs, put your own panties to the side and started to guide him to your entrance.

"You think is gonna be that easy?" he murmured in your ear, dodging his dick to press on your clit instead, making you moan at the contact, but also groan out of frustration.

"After all this time, it should be"

"You know what I want to hear, baby" he peppered kisses on your neck while still grinding his dick from your clit to your entrance, you were so wet he knew you would have no difficulty to take him.

"Put this thing inside of me, already" you tried to move your hips to get more friction, frustration consuming you.

Even though Javi had a purpose of you to stop calling him 'sir', he could barely hold himself from sliping inside of you, so that's what he did. Your moan as he slowly made space for him inside of you will forever be in his mind. Javi cursed under his breath as your walls squeezed him and he had to take a moment to absorb the feeling. So warm, so wet, so tight, he was in heaven. But you were impatiant.

"Please, move"

"Say my name and I will"

"Why are you so attached to this?" you pinched your brows.

He did the same "Why are you so against saying it?"

You licked a stripe on his neck "To piss you off"

"That's okay" he smirked "You don't have to say it, I'm gonna make you scream it" he held your legs and roughly pushed inside expecting to hit your special place; by the way you gasped and grabbed him, he got it just right "Found it"

Javi ran his nose through your neck and your skin bristled "You're so sensitive here, aren't you, bebita?"

"I'm starting to think that you make me sensitive everywhere"

He laughed and stopped his movements again "Now that's a confession"

"What can I say?" you huffed "It seems like you make my mind go blank when you have your huge dick inside of me and won't. fucking. move"

He laughed and started to slowly take it out just to push it in again at the same speed.

"You're gonna fucking kill me" you whined "Please, faster"

"Are you needy, baby?" he licked your neck "I can feel you squeeze me. You're desperate for my cock, huh?"

"Yes"

"Yes, what?

"Yes, sir"

He increased the speed and you moaned louder "Unbelievable" his hips were reletless and he felt you getting tighter and tighter "You're almost there, aren't you, baby?" you couldn't speak, mouth half opened and nails digging into the skin of his arm "You like it rough, don't you?"

Then he stopped.

"What the fuck?" your voice is hoarsed.

"I'm fucking you slow, baby, is that a crime?" his smile was smudge

"You're evil" you whined, hips moving to find relief.

"I am evil? Who are you to talk about evil? You're fucking teasing me here, bebita. That's so wrong" he started to move slowly again "Just say my name and I'll let you cum"

You nodded your head no.

"Say it"

"No"

"Fucking say. It." he changed the angle to repeatedly hit that spot inside of you and pulled your hair until your back arched.

"Oh my God, Javi!" you screamed as you came hard on his dick, eyes closed tight, mouth opened and body tremblimg.

His name coming out of your mouth was like music to Javi's ears, and hearing it for the first time fomented something insane inside of him. He licked his thumb and pressed it hard against your clit, your eyes widened in surprise and he got a strangled sound out of your mouth as you came again, your body violently shaking under his hands.

"Oh shit, that's it, baby. You're fucking milking me. Shit, shit, shit."

His name was now floating through your lips like a hymn, and he loved to hear it.

"I'm gonna cum"

His words seemed to wake you from your trance "On my mouth"

"Shit" he steped away and out of you and one second later you were on the floor, knelt before him. You grabbed his dick with one hand, put the tip in your mouth and that's all it took for him to cum the hardest he had in his life. You sucked it, greedy until he had nothing more to give you "Let me see it, baby" he asked with a hoarsed voice, asking you to open your mouth, showing that you had swalloed it all "Fucking dirty woman"

You smirked and rested your forehead on his thigh, exausted.

"Come 'ere" he took your hand on his and got you to your feet, holding you against him by your waist "Can you walk?"

"I think I can learn how to do it again, yeah" he chuckled.

Javi lowered your skirt before sitting you on his desk again "How are you getting home?" he asked quietly as he slowly buttoned up your blouse, trying not to startle you and have you running away again.

"I'm taking a cab" you more gently than not stopped his fingers to continue the work yourself.

"Let me take you home" he fished your panties from the floor and put it in his pocked as he wore his pants again

"You don't have to"

"I know I don't. But I'm kind of worried if you will be capable to support yourself for enough time to call a cab after I fucked you this good"

You released the louder chuckle he had ever heard you give as you stood up "You're the absolute worst, Javier."

He started to get hard to the sound of his name on your lips.

"See? Perfectly stable" one of your eyebrows was raised and all he wanted to do was to kiss your attitude away.

"I guess I'll have to fuck you harder next time, then"

"I guess"

You both went quiet as you made your way out of the building and to his car, you only speaking to give him instructions to get to your place.

"There will be a next time, right?" he spoke as you left the car.

How silly of him to think that fucking you once would be enough, would make all the consuming desire go away, if something, it only made him want you more.

You took your time to look at him, as if staring directly to his soul and gave him a small smile.

"Good night, Javi"

#javier peña #javier pena x reader #javier pena smut #javier pena fanfic #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena x you #javi pena #javier pena narcos #narcos fanfiction #javier pena secretary #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #zaddy pedro #pedrohub #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction

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abyssal-author-and-artist · 3 months ago

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oh shit i just realized i forgot to post the trans dipper essay

oh well, better late than never!

Introducing - Why Mason "Dipper" Pines is Trans and Why that Matters - an essay I spent more time on than I did my actual college project today

Mason "Dipper" Pines from Gravity Falls is trans. Trans masculine, to be specific. Do I believe this was intentional? No. Do I believe that there's a seriously convincing case to be made? Fuck yes.

So first off, he's just like me frfr, which is pretty compelling in and of itself. But that's not enough for a whole essay, so we move onto our second point - character designs. Dipper is designed like, well, like every modern-era trans man I've ever drawn who isn't goth. The shorts, the one shirt in the one color, the absolute insecurity. He even does the hunch of the back! Also, I think I heard somewhere that the vest is to make his shoulders look broader, which I'm not entirely sure is canon but I am accepting this whole-heartedly. It's such a trans move of him. He's too young (and it's summer so it's too hot) to wear a dysphoria hoodie so he picked a vest. (I say too young because dysphoria hoodies usually cover your chest and Dipper and Mabel probably haven't hit puberty.)

The second part comes directly from science. According to this article, and many others, sex in identical twins is complicated, but most identical twins will be born the same sex. There are cases where this isn't true (which might be the case for Mabel and Dipper) or they might be fraternal, which is also pretty likely. However, looking at them when they were younger (and listening to their very similar voices), it's likely they were identical and both girls. That's not to say I dislike trans Mabel - every trans woman I draw dresses like her, so I do love her being trans as well and them hitting the age of like. 10. and swapping genders is incredibly funny and adorable to me.

So, we can't reliably use the aforementioned evidence, then, can we? After all, identical twins can be different sexes, although rare, and we don't have any proof they are identical beyond their visual (and when they were younger, audible) similarities. Well, first off, I'd say that's pretty compelling evidence already. In a cartoon, especially one as detailed and beautiful-looking as Gravity Falls (the art is good and I will die on this hill), visual language makes up for a lot. And Alex Hirsh has gone on record saying that he very much wanted Jason Ritter and Kristen Schaal for Dipper and Mabel respectively, to the point where he would have canceled the show if Kristen hadn't signed on, so I wholeheartedly believe every character (with the exception of Grenda and any other characters who had last minute va's picked) had their voice actors picked very specifically. I can't find whether Jason Ritter voiced younger Dipper, though, so that's a dead end.

Now, that's all well and good, but it's a lot of visual language, isn't it? Why don't we move into something more based in the writing itself?

So the first and most prominent example of Dipper being transgender is the episode Dipper vs Manliness. You know it, you probably have emotions on it, it's the episode where Dipper is trying his hardest to be a man's man. The episode was supposed to be about toxic masculinity and how to be a real man is to stick to your morals. It's a good lesson and in my opinion, holds up even in 2024. Pretty good. Does a great job of what it wants to do. Now, Dipper vs. Manliness has been dissected to hell and back already as a transgender allegory, so I'll keep this brief: the episode centers around Dipper being mocked for not being manly. While Mabel and Stan still see him as a man, albeit an effeminate one, it gets to Dipper. He proceeds to do anything to prove himself a real man. If viewed as a trans allegory, Mabel is teasing her brother and not realizing how deeply it actually hurts him (whether accidentally because she fails to realize how insecure he is over it or because she hasn't been there before, depending on how you want to headcanon it). As for Stan, I like to pretend he's supportive but regularly forgets Dipper was ever a girl, so he makes a serious slip up because of that (and/or he's regurgitating stuff said to him. That hits harder if you also headcanon trans Stan, which I am warming up to). Dipper proceeds to try and prove himself a man, crying when he takes even one more blow to his self esteem/sense of identity as a man, and eventually gets comfort from his family when they realize just how BADLY they messed him up. He is affirmed as a man and the episode ends. Everything that can be said, has been said - including that you don't have to act toxically masculine - or even masculine at all - to be a real man. Remember this part, it will be important later.

So, other trans moments for Dipper come a little sparser. Dipper vs. Manliness is the example for a good reason. But still, there's other moments. The short Voice Over from one of the short story compliation episodes is another one that's commonly referenced as a metaphor for voice dysphoria. Yes, Dipper's voice is cracking in ways common for a cis pre-teen boy his age, but the pitch and tone of his voice can also be seen as his more feminine voice peeking through. Taking the potion can be seen as taking testosterone or other hormones. Granted, this falls apart when you consider that Dipper is later discouraged from taking the potion, because that could be read as Dipper being discouraged from transitioning, but on the other side of the spectrum, it could be read as Dipper being affirmed as a real man despite his voice. From that perspective, his family prevents him from taking (possibly dangerous) homebrewed hrt. Also, the euphoria he gets when it does change his voice is just. Absolutely adorable.

Now, my favorite resource for Dipper acting trans is in the episode Headhunters. He's asking Manly Dan questions and Manly Dan calls Dipper a girl. And MAN the discomfort on Dipper's face. He immediately attempts to correct Manly Dan, but is shut down and the episode moves on. I think that for such a short moment, it does a good job of making Dipper seem trans, though. He is called a girl and feels extreme discomfort around it. He does not like being called a girl. He is not a girl. But he's not shocked or surprised or even really offended - he's resigned. He's used to being called a girl. Sure, he hates it, but he doesn't cry or scream or anything. Sounds to me like a trans man who's absurdly used to being misgendered but still hates it. That pain never goes away, but sometimes all you can do is flinch in discomfort, try to correct and move on, like the episode does.

For a (mostly humorous) video of more of Dipper acting trans, check out this video.

So I think we've made a pretty compelling point for Dipper Pines being trans masc here. Looks pretty good, yup, this is a great essay, let's wrap it up. Oh? What's that? The name of this essay?

Why Mason "Dipper" Pines is transgender and why that matters.

Well, let's dive into section two of this essay - why does Dipper being trans matter?

Someone could easily say it doesn't matter. Just fun fandom headcanons, that's it, wrap it up now. Nothing more to say. Dipper is trans and that's just a fun reading of his character.

But I don't think that's the case. I think that Dipper being trans means so much - to trans fans of the show, to fans who have never seen or spoken to trans people before, and to queer fans of Gravity Falls and similar shows. (I personally am a Steven Universe fan who really valued the representation there, so Gravity Falls and all it's queer coding means a lot to me.)

First and foremost, I'm not going to keep you in the dark as to why you're remembering my earlier point. As a recap, it was this: Dipper vs. Manliness, and by proxy, Gravity Falls as a whole, says that you don't have to be traditionally masculine to be a real man. For a show that spends a lot of time mocking a kid commonly headcanoned to be a trans man, that says a lot, and a lot of stuff I think more people need to hear.

You do not need to act like your gender to be your gender.

You do not need to present like your gender to be your gender.

You do not need to fit some rigid box that society enforces to be who you are.

If you are a man, you are a man, trans or cis, regardless of how you act. (And the same goes for women and nonbinary people! You don't have to fit a mold.)

You don't owe anyone anything.

You don't owe people masculinity. (Or femininity or androgyny for that matter.)

I think that's part of the reason Dipper vs. Manliness ages so well. Dipper reads as trans, especially to queer fans, and his story in that episode tells us that we don't have to be someone we're not for people to take us seriously as who we are. At the end of the day, the really masculine thing is staying true to you - a sentiment echoed and reversed in The Last Mabelcorn, where the most feminine thing you can do is to stay true to yourself. I can't find it right now, but I could swear that there's a That GF Fan video explaining my point a little better. The point is, there's nothing that makes you more of whatever your gender is than staying true to yourself.

Additionally, if Dipper really is trans and someone sees themself in him, that can help them explore their gender or explain it to other people. Young kids who have never interacted with trans people before can see Dipper and grow up to connect the dots - or grow up to have him crack their eggs.

I know I'm new to the fandom and I was already out before watching the show, but he really helped me explore my gender. I like dressing like him - he's very relatable, even though I'm old enough to be in college now. I see him as a very anxious, slightly paranoid trans kid, and I see a lot of myself in him. He has a lot of issues, and a lot of issues that aren't trans specific but definitely hit harder when you are trans. He makes me feel seen on a level that I never thought a cartoon character could do.

Honestly, here would be a good place to put a rant about representation in kids media - queer kids under the age of 12 exist and struggle. I liked a girl (before realizing I was trans) in fifth grade, so about 9 years old. There are kids who experiment with their gender when they're younger than that. We're here and we exist, and every single time a character in children's media is made and is prevalent, another kid is able to really see themself.

That's really the point of this section. Dipper is trans. That matters. People - mostly queer kids but people of all ages - see themselves in him. He's here and we see him as queer because it's validating. It feels so good to hear Stan affirm him at the end of Dipper vs. Manliness, because it proves that at the end of the day, you don't need to present as super masc or femme or androgynous to be who you are.

Gravity Falls, through coding Dipper as trans, sent a message:

You are seen. You are loved. You are valid.

Thank you for reading this all. Trans Dipper means a lot to me, and I love writing him and seeing him in general. I want more of him because Dipper being trans means the world to me.

I love you all. Have a wonderful day. Remember to stay true to yourself.

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jessicaslittlelovesickmess · 10 months ago

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And then she was gone

Pairing: Rebbeca Welton x reader

Warning: Angst, mentions of smut

You loved Rebecca aggressively as if your lungs should collapse without her and you thought that maybe she felt the same, how tantalising. It had been blissful the first three years minus the interference of her ex-husband but you worked around him- worked around everything.

Still, it never seemed enough, you simply never felt enough not when Rebecca's attention remained elsewhere you understood her job was demanding. Though blatantly there were times she simply ignored you, and found reasons to be in the office or out of the house.

It was okay at first, nothing big until people began noticing it too how miserable you had become and how quiet you were, things had changed. Today was your anniversary. You were scared shitless would she even attend? you wondered as you shimmied into a beautiful green gown matching Rebecca's eyes.

Getting ready for the night only filled you with more anxiety than excitement while you did your makeup, your hands slowly growing clammy and starting to tremble. You had made up your mind either this relationship was fixed or you had to leave it was only fair, you didn't want anything from the blonde.

The truth was you had been offered a new job and only needed one reason to decline, one reason to stay, one reason and that was the blonde you loved so furiously.

Rebecca loved you there was no doubt about it she just wasn't sure if she was still in love with you, she was always afraid you would leave and break her heart just as Rupert had. She sighed closing her laptop, she was tired and wished to go home hoping to catch a glimpse of you dancing in the kitchen or reading on the sofa.

She found that she loved routine, you had built a routine that took years to create, a solo symphony just for her eyes after a long day where she could hold you in her arms. Maybe she was still in love with you to an extent but what is a relationship if it's only one-sided, sex was scarce so was affection until the day's end.

You drove silently to the restaurant and waited for the woman to arrive, your eyes roamed around the crowds hoping to catch a glimpse of her blonde hair as you sipped your water. However, Rebecca was shocked to see an empty house, it was strange for you to be out unless you had plans. you would've told her right?

The young waitress dropped you off a glass of wine with a sad smile you had been there for an hour and counting it was clear you had been stood up. With a sigh, you chugged back the glass before leaving a generous tip this was it you decided six years for this? you felt stupid no matter how beautiful you looked.

Rebecca rested in bed alone with a book in hand, glasses perched on her nose the lamp on her bedside casting a smooth shadow across the dark room as you entered the home kicking off your heels with a huff. Your makeup had begun to smudge as you ventured upstairs tears staining your face afraid to look her in the eye "You're out late" she spoke turning the page.

You laugh but nothing humorous "What's so funny?' she asked taking off her reading glasses "You really don't know?" a subtle anger simmered in your chest "No Y/n I don't know". Rebecca scoffed "It's our anniversary" you whispered gazing up at her watching how her facials had changed "oh" her eyes flickered with sadness.

"I'm sorry Y/n, I forgot but I will make it up to you" she promised but you shook your head "I can't do this anymore Rebs" you cried, the walls you built had crumbled into nothing. "I'm nothing but nausea, nothing but reverie, nothing but longing" you spoke with disgust as you stared at your hands "I love you but you make me so sad".

Rebecca had believed everything was fine and that nothing had changed no, she loved you, and she was terrified you would leave "I love you too Y/n/n" she smiled tear-eyed. "And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you"

"Do you truly love me or are you scared to be alone?" doe eyes stare at her silencing "Because I feel nothing but alone" You shook your head as you began to change clothes.

"W-we can fix this though surely?" she asked wide-eyed "Rebeca it's been years in the making, we're not growing younger" The blonde quickly got up reaching for your zipper. "Please Y/n/n. let me fix this" she cried pressing kisses to your bare shoulder her arms wrapping around your waist "You said it, we're not getting younger".

The light from the lamp flickered highlighting your shadow "And what if I'm only wasting my time?" you asked turning in her arms "You won't" she pleaded "but I might". Resting your forehead against her own "And I'm that I'm losing time" she sighed "So let me go" You looked into her gentle green eyes.

"One night?"

"One night and I'll be gone by morning"

One night of burning passion as Rebecca stored your body in memory, her words failed so she hoped her actions this night would count silently as you brought you to greater heights. "I love you" whispered along your skin in kisses, in pleas of don't leave, she was everywhere so suddenly it was intoxicating. Rebecca refused to sleep that night afraid she might miss you leaving, she knew there wasn't changing your mind she had already dealt her damage, a speech on her lips.

When you awoke she sat with a hand playing in your hair with a sad smile "Where will you go little dove?' she whispered "Sicily, I accepted a job offer there last night on my drive home" She pressed a kiss to your hairline and letting you get up. "So this is it? this is for real?" Rebecca swallowed harshly "I guess so" you sighed beginning to pack your things "But must you leave so soon?" she rested a hand on your arm. "I held off this offer for three weeks, I need to leave tonight" You bit your lip gazing off, Rebecca nodded "You will find me when you return, even if you're a thousand years late" she promised, she begged, she hoped and wished.

#imagine #wlw #rebecca welton x reader #rebecca welton #ted lasso #hannah waddingham #hannah waddingham x reader #angst #sad lesbians

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ostentatiouslyonigiri · 2 months ago

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"ONBOARDING"

[A/N: Seriously guys, there is no reason why Alucard should be so hard to write XD. He (in cannon) is such a discordant, confusingly consistent mess, OMG. Though I suppose that’ll happen after centuries of consuming souls…Well, at least he’s found a job that he loves! Also, reader is female and American] [EDIT: Forgot to @thirstyforlulu 😅]

“B-by myself!?”

You were at a loss for words. Asset management, training, recruitment. For the latter, you weren’t even sure of the logistics behind that. How could you run an entire HR department by yourself!? The background of the elegant room, the somber undertones, and the echo of your voice did nothing to salve the already desperate disposition of your nerves. As the smoke from the cigar of the steely eyed woman across from you dissipated into the air, a naughty thought appeared:Maybe the reason she puffs on that foul-smelling bundle of herbs is because of the stick she keeps up her—Suddenly, you felt the advance of many tiny legs up your arm and instinctively moved to swat away the possible offender. Nothing…

"Is that a problem?"The woman said as another puff of smoke left her plump lips. The unyielding nature of her gaze pinned you to the spot.The way her blue eyes bore into yours and the enunciation of your name made it clear that she dared you to respond. You did not.The decision was already made for you.There was no getting out of this. "You are to ensure the proper conduct of all personnel under the employ of my organization. You will be solely responsible for the results of this endeavour, be it success or failure. If the conditions in which you will do so do not accommodate your skill, then consider yourself terminated. If this is not the case, you are dismissed".

The openness of the hallway was a refreshing reprieve. Walking a short distance away from Sir Integra's office, you caught your bearings and reflected on your circumstances. "I guess that means I'm hired..."

You walked down a corridor, not really having a destination in mind. You just needed to think. ‘Am I really cut out for this?’ It all just felt so overwhelming. What if you failed? How would you be able to afford to get back home? Could you go back home? Already, the familiar warmth of tears began to prick at the corners of your eyes.

The eerie silence of the hallways seemed to swallow you whole as the weight of your uncertainty bore down. Your muffled footsteps left soft thuds against the carpeted marble floor, the only sound breaking the oppressive quiet. As if sensing your distress, the door lining the corridor slowly creaked open and beckoned you forth, revealing dimly lit rooms. Shadows danced within, casting an unsettling atmosphere that matched your turbulent thoughts. The soft yellow glow of the hallway lights bounced off of your ID badge and mixed with its myriad of colors. Your eyes traced over the hard piece of plastic, already sick of seeing the organization’s namesake. You shook your head. No, you can't think like this anymore! Stop with the negative self-talk! You’re not in America anymore— this is your chance to start again and prove yourself. You deserved to be here! As you continued to wander, the air within the building began to grow colder and clammier. The sudden oppressiveness of the atmosphere made even breathing uncomfortable. ‘What's going on?’ From your periphery, a particular painting caught your eye. It was of an aristocratic woman. Elegant and tall. Though beautiful, something was off. The eyes...Why were they red? You stood under the painting, observing it like a child would an attraction. Though sizable, you felt like the painting’s dwarfing effect couldn’t exactly be attributed to the painting's breadth.

"I see you've discovered Lady Integra's collection." For a short time, your surroundings were a blur as your eyes searched for the new variable.Your sights found its prize when it rested on the source of the rich baritone and smokey cologne: A man. As his chiseled jawline, silky raven hair, and broad shoulders emerged from the darker corners of the hall, more of his appearance came to light. Atop his dark tresses, laid a red wide brimmed hat that matched his red duster , and underfoot, were long leather boots. To complete the man’s strange ensemble, was his pair of orange sunglasses that reflected a brilliant sunset orange amongst the backdrop of shadows. Was this a popular dress style in England? You regarded the strange man with a level of suspicion, allowing the swell of goose pimples that were beginning to form to justify your apprehension. Clearly, this man must be an employee here; after all, he just spoke of Sir Integra. But where is his ID badge? You released a cold puff of air and gathered yourself.

“Y-yes, I have. It’s quite beautiful.” After a short pause, the man gives an appreciative hum. He approached the painting- and by extension, you- with measured strides.Though you tried not to make it obvious, the way your eyes tracked every inch of the man’s movement made your anxiety palpable. You eyed the man’s Adam’s Apple as it bobbed, like he was drinking in your fear. You chided yourself for the silly thought. Peeking through the sides of his glasses, you swore you saw crimson. It’s just a trick of the light.

“Aye, it is, isn't it? A true testament to humanity's will to rebuke what is their natural inheritance. It is but an inevitability, the grip of death, yet pieces like these ensure one will forever persist; even if it is through mere paper and colored earth. Humans…are so fascinating.”

You look up at the strange man, taking into consideration his words. “I…never really thought about it in that way. I suppose the tendency for humanity to preserve itself can be admirable, but I also can’t help but wonder when it stops being worth it to try. How many hours of labor and hardship did it take for one to even get the materials for this? Was the artist that was commissioned for this even compensated? Were they under duress? Countless resources, likely at others expense, just to spite the inevitable. At what point does it become insanity to continue?” To some extent, you wonder if the investment in such decadence could ever not be seen as tasteful. The man tilted his head in confusion, though his glasses made it difficult to tell. He later meets your gaze once more with a wide grin. “And yet it is here for you to ponder on. You still admire it, do you not?” You suppose he’s right about that…you suppose. “Mmh.”

“Alucard” What? Oh, of course, your name! “ W-here are my manners? It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Alucard!" You extended your arm for a handshake. Alucard raised an eyebrow, his expression hinting amusement at your sudden enthusiasm . Despite this, he gently took your hand in his. "The pleasure is all mine, dear" he murmurs, his voice smooth like velvet. As he released your hand, but not before a moment of arrest. The man was unnaturally cold. This made little sense considering he was wearing gloves. You stared down at them, noticing the odd symbols that traced along the smooth fabric.

"So, do you work here?” You ask nervously. “...My dear child, military compounds are not known for hosting tours” Alucard chuckles. You blushed as you kicked yourself for having asked such a stupid question. Unfortunately, it was not the last, but as the conversation between the two of you progressed, you found his biting sarcasm to be…entertaining? Clearly, the man was just as (if not more) entertained by you. From the sneaking glances at his spectacles, hints of amusement expressed itself through the veiled outlines of his eyes.

“Say, earlier when we were talking about that painting, you mentioned something about how humans are ‘fascinating’...” His strong jaw tilted to give you a cryptic expression. The corners of his eyes crinkled in delight as his cheshire smile welded together to tease a truth not yet privy to you. “Yes, and what of it?”

Swirling sunset eyes met with yours. Questions went unsaid and the impossibility of his eye’s inhuman color went unattended to by your psyche. Drawn to his preternatural beauty like a moth to a flame, your delicate digits found respite along the cool angles of Alucard's jaw; his long arms wrapped around your delicate waist in turn.

The satisfied gleam in his eyes turned a bright vermillion, though this did not register to you. After all, how could it when the point of his nose felt so good against the curve of your neck? How could anything matter when the light feather kisses along the new trail of bruises felt so right? You were floating on a fluffy cloud. You leaned in more to seek the comfort of his tongue's girth as he further suckled upon your skin. Pads of your breasts being kneaded was the button needed to release the breathy moan that escaped from your lips. You ached with need, he could smell it. A whine escaped from your lips as Alucard withdrew slightly, a wicked grin spread across his face as he assessed your feeble state. Your arm tickled at the way his gloved fingers danced along your skin. Your jaw felt good in between his fingers, you thought.

“My dear, you wished to know what I meant when I spoke of humanity…Do you still want to know?” It was unfair really. How could you possibly answer such a thing when he was toying with your body like this? When his large hands dared to roam under the fabric of your clothes and to your heat? When his tall nose tickled its way so sweetly along the surface of your cheek until his lips could reach the shell of your ear to continue whispering sweet temptations? Bent sinfully, the Vampire King sampled more of your flavor, though careful not to break any skin—Yet.

“Why do you reject it? Why deny yourself ? Sweet thing, allow me to show you the pleasures of surrender.” 'That... Maybe that wouldn't be so bad...', your mind drifts. The ghost of affirmation clung to your lips by a finger. That shouldn't be a problem, right?

“Is that a problem?” Your mind thought back to that woman..

Blood, as Alucard has learned over the centuries, tasted better when given freely. He just needed the word. He began to coo at you, sure that his prize was soon to be had. Your eyebrows knitted together and your hands reached to push at Alucard's broad shoulders. From your periphery, true would be found. His teeth…His eyes…You couldn't even recall when he'd taken off his glasses…

He's going to kill you, isn't he? Your first day on the job... Will be your last. Though the bulk of your freewill had mostly seeped out and left a vast space for persuasion, the 'bulk of' didn’t mean all. Blunt nails made harsh contact with soft skin. Streaks of scrapped flesh mirrored the streaks of salty water that cascaded down your cheeks. Quickly, reserved defiance turned into a desperate fight for life. Just as quickly, however, your body tired and could no longer accommodate your frantic attempts. Your mind followed suit when the previous bloody tears against pale flesh sealed; leaving no sign of damage behind. “H-help!” It seemed that no such thing would come. Worse than before, the echoes of your voice did nothing to salve the desperate disposition of your nerves. You were truly alone…Never had a smile looked so sickening.

You weren't going to win. Whoever this is, whatever this is, was going to kill you and there was nothing you could do about it.

"Please... Make it quick” Alucard, at your words, sniffed in disgust. His initial features of surprise quickly turned into an acrid distaste. Suddenly, the rotten blood of ghouls would be more preferable than the presence of a coward. Humans who were so willing to just forfeit their life...

"Disgusting," Alucard spits out, recoiling as if offered a meal of festered meat and a chalice of pus. Disdain etches itself onto his angular features, a look of utter contempt. His venomous glare pierced through you, freezing your very soul. Though “free”, you were not sure if you were better off in this situation or the former. Meek human eyes locked gazes with hot coals from the depths of hell.

“BACK AWAY FROM THE GIRL OR WE WILL BE FORCED TO SHOOT!"

The man in the familiar tactical gear,‘Birminghamman’, you vaguely recall, shouts as he points his firearm at the haunting figure. The presence of another human did not, unfortunately, improve your spirits. In fact, the presence of more bodies and more guns made the situation ironically more tense. Red eyes laid no heed to the crowd forming around the spectacle; it's attention only on you.

There was no other form of acknowledgement other than a mere scoff. The specter of a man swiveled on booted heels and was welcomed by the darker expanse of the hallway. Crimson lined shadows retreated, leaving nothing but dotted black plumes in its wake.

Birmingham was the last to lower his gun. "M-miss, are you alright?” You really weren't sure how to answer that question. Were you okay? “Listen, if you need to go to the infirmar—”, You recoiled at his reassuring gesture, only able to stare back owlishly.

You were told everything.

#hellsing ultimate #hellsing #yandere #yandere alucard hellsing #yandere imagines #alucard hellsing x reader #alucard #alucard hellsing #not proofread #OstentatiouslyOnigiri

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crash-and-cure · 1 year ago

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Every Minute, Every Hour (Yandere!Austin!Elvis x Reader)

Summary: You were out. You were out goddamnit. How was he here?

A/N: Soooo.... It’s been awhile. Writer’s block is an absolute son of a bitch. So this is based on an idea I had and requested to @venus-haze a couple months ago and which I almost completely forgot about until I got this request and I decided two birds and all that. I also acknowledge that there was another similar request made a while back, to the person who requested it don’t worry, I do have plans for it.

Warnings: Yandere!Elvis so expect themes of obsessive, manipulative, jealous, and delusional behavior. Dubious Consent in regards to coersion being involved. Loss of virginity. Explicit sexual content depicted that includes Penetrative sex (m/f), oral sex (f.recieving), female mastubation, slight dumbification, and implied anal play. Brief depictions of choking. Touch-starvation. Mentions of Pregnancy. Referenced cheating on Elvis' part. Self-loathing. Stockholm Syndrome(?) Probably more that I am blanking on. Period-typical homophobia and closeted characters depicted. Please do not interact if you are under 18.

Word Count: 19.8K

Masterlist

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You look like an angel (look like an angel)

Walk like an angel (walk like an angel)

Talk like an angel

But I got wise

You’re the devi-

It takes you longer than you would have liked to reach the radio and turn it off. And it’s only as you reach it do you realize how odd it looks from the outside when you see a customer looking at you funny.

“Not much of a fan,” you say with an admittedly pathetic smile on your face.

“I can see that,” he replies with an awkward smile, before going back to browsing the books.

You bashfully turn the radio back on and quickly try to turn the knob to anything even remotely comprehensible, but it’s just your luck that this is the only station you get decent reception on in the store. With no other choice but to simply grin and bear it you put the volume on low and return to reading your book.

You do keep an eye on your final customer of the evening, and hope he hurries up so you can finally close up for the day. Susan had been complaining about a migraine since lunch and Gina was caring for her upstairs and so it was on you to close up the shop on your own today.

You feel embarrassed to have been seen that way but that all falls away when you hear the shop bell ring, only to be immediately followed by tiny rapid footsteps and an excited little “mama!” and you grab onto the counter before your little two and a half foot terror can knock out from behind you. Which ends up being the right call as you feel her head butt your knees and locking her arms around them nearly knocking you down.

“Mama! Mama!” she squealed, practically vibrating, she was so excited to see you.

“Rosie! Rosie!” you say, equally as happy to see her though you do a far better job at reining it in. She takes your hands in hers as you crouch down to look at her, and take stock. Her hair is askew with the ribbons you had tied in place this morning holding on for dear life in her beautiful curls, her face is smudgy with what you’re hoping is chocolate, and one of her socks is just gone, but both shoes are in place so you can only imagine how your little hellion managed that. Overall this is the best condition Rosie has returned to you in, after a long day with Jenny.

“Mama, Aunty Jenny took me to the Candy store!” she says, showing off the candy bracelets on her tiny wrists.

“Really,” you say, shooting a look at your friend for giving her so much sugar before bed. The woman in question has the courtesy to at least look a little guilty about it, before giving a small laugh.

“Mm-hmm. And we saw Danny at the playground and we-we saw Uncle Lee’s friends, and then we listened to a lotta music, and we saw a movie about a wizard and there was no one else in the whole room, and then-then…” she rapidly rambles on but you pepper her face in kisses before she can pass out from the lack of oxygen. She giggles uncontrollably and tries to squirm out of your grip, but you gotta get in one good raspberry on her cheek before you let her go.

“Alright, why don’t you go upstairs and help Aunty Gina finish up dinner,” you tell her with a smile on your face. Her “help” in the kitchen is typically watching and holding spoons and spatulas on a step stool, but she’s at an age where she believes the whole dish would fall apart without her important contribution to it, so she goes rushing to the stairs.

But she quickly comes running back while taking the uneaten bracelet off of her wrist. “Danny said to give this to you for your birthday,” she declares. Ever since meeting Jenny’s nephew she’s seemed to hang on to every word of his, and though you’ve never met the boy he seems to be a good kid, always polite and saying hello through your daughter, but has, as you've heard, an extreme affinity towards spinning a few too many fantastical stories. But your daughter is far too young to see him as anything but a friend so you doubt you have anything to worry about as of right now.

She’s always so eager to tell you about everything, and you’re just as eager to listen. Your folks never wanted to hear anything from you, and you pray that your attentiveness will pay off one day when she is never afraid to come to you with your troubles. Maybe if you had that with your mother you wouldn’t be where you were.

“Well tell him I said thank you,” you say, as you pull it on your wrist, placing a small kiss on her forehead before she books it back to the stairs behind the counter. As you stand back up, to your surprise you find the customer now at the counter with a good stack of books.

“Sorry to bother Miss…ummm…” the customer says nervously.

“Love,” you clarify for him. “Y/N Love.”

He gives a shy smile at that, “Well Miss Love, I’m ‘bout ready to check out so…” he says gesturing to his tower of books.

“Of course,” you answer and you begin to ring him up. He’s got quite a few so at least he makes the extra time staying down here somewhat worth it.

“Whatcha readin’ there,” he asks you, pointing to the open book you’ve left to your side. You show him your copy of We have always lived in the castle. “I-is it any good?”

“I would say so,” you answer. Though that ending did hit a little too close to home, you think to yourself.

“So umm, d-do you like to read?” he asks hesitantly as he quietly adds a copy of the book to his pile.

“I’d be in the wrong business if I didn’t,” you joke, and he laughs a little too hard. “How ‘bout you?” you ask, wanting to not have an awkward silence, as you’re not even halfway through the stack.

“Yeah, I-I love reading though I don’t got a lotta time for it these days,” he says with a guilty smile on his face.

“Why’s that?” you ask, since it seems to be the only way this conversation could go.

“I-I just started my residency at Charity Hospital,” he says bashfully rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m Sam by the way,” apparently realizing that he hadn’t made the proper introductions.

“Y/N,” you say, giving him a small nod and a smile. “And congratulations on your residency,” you're almost done with the final few books, but you may or may not be taking your time to finish them up, wanting to prolong the conversation you’re having for a bit.

“Thank you, and I- well, umm… I couldn’t help but overhear your daughter, but umm… Happy Birthday,” he says ducking his head, a bit embarrassed at his own admission.

“Oh, thank you,” you say, your face heating up slightly that he had heard.

“Your Husband’s a lucky man,” he says, though he does steal a quick glance at you, no doubt trying to gauge your reaction.

So this is what it’s about, you think to yourself. “I’m actually not…” you trail off, and hope that he gets the message.

“Oh, I’m glad to hear that,” he stated before his eyes widened as he realized what he just said. “I-I mean not glad like I’m happy that you-you’re not married, bu-but glad li-like I’m relieved that I hav-haven’t been trying to build up the courage to talk to a cute girl for the past few weeks only to find out she’s married already.” he blathers on and you can’t help but laugh.

Your heart does flutter a bit at his confession. Everything about this feels like it should be perfect. Unfortunately for the both of you, you finally get a good look at his icy blue eyes that are a little too familiar for comfort, and it feels like your throat closes up.

You can feel your stomach churning (and not just from the baby that fills it) and cold regret for not buying an extra pair of socks as you sit at the Greyhound terminal in Nashville, your feet starting practically turning into ice blocks. That cold November morning you had made a show of telling everybody you were gonna make a quick trip down to the shops for some eggs, now you’re almost a full state away praying that the bus gets here soon, jumping every time a set of headlights passes by and you're just barely keeping dry underneath the metal canopy.

But for as cold as you are physically, your chest starts to heat up at the prospect that you’re so close to freedom from an even colder gaze. When the bus does get there you hardly sleep a wink afraid to let your guard down even now. You know how well he could sabotage your plans if he was so inclined, from small things like spoiling the surprise party you had planned for him to the major of ruining your chances to get into another school.

You know he’s half a world away yet that still does little knowing what the most loyal of his are willing to do for him. It’s not until you finally make it to the train station in Atlanta that’ll take you down to New Orleans that you finally give in to your heavy eyelids, willing to trust strangers with your safety, aware they can’t hurt you any worse than those you know have done.

You shake your head as you’re brought back to the present, and you hear him say something, “I’m sorry what?” you covertly wiggle your toes as you try to ground yourself and get sensation back in them as though you were just getting them out of the cold.

“I was just sayin’ there’s this club down on Bourbon that I been meanin’ to check out since movin’ down here, and I was hopin’ a local such as yourself could show me ‘round these parts,” he says, a nervous but hopeful smile on his lips.

For a moment you can almost imagine saying yes to him, how he would take you out on the town, how he would kiss you, how he would throw your daughter up in the air. How maybe you could be happy with him.

But like a looming black cloud, in spite of the lowered volume, you hear what the new station is now playing, clear as a bell.

Oh please come to my arms and say you'll love me forever

For with the dawn, you'll be gone

It’s almost as though He’s following you, serving as a constant reminder of what you did, and that you’re never allowed to imagine being with another man. You wordlessly turn off the radio before you’re forced to listen anymore. “Uhh, I-I’m sorry, I-I really don’t go out much,” you say, trying to shut this down as gently as you could.

“Oh-uhh, that’s fine I umm,” he says, pivoting hard. “I’m more of a movie guy myself, I hear he’s got a new one out, and we can go and watch anything but that,” he gives a small laugh pointing to the radio, but quickly drops it upon seeing your grim expression.

Without knowing it Sam just shut the coffin on any potential happenings between the two of you. “I’m sorry, it’s late and I gotta close up for the night,” you say softly, and he’s smart enough to take the hint.

“O-of course,” he says looking down at the books he has in his hands. “But can you promise you’ll think about it?” he asks as he reaches the door to look back at you.

Even before you open your mouth, you already know that your next words are going to make you lose a customer forever. “There’s nothing to think about,” you say, trying to feign apathy. Harsh as your words may be, you know this is far kinder to him in the long run as opposed to getting more involved with you.

You watch him leave the store with a sagging shoulders and a long face, before you feel a hand meet violently with the back of your head, and you swivel around to see Jenny with an exasperated look on her face. “So a handsome, single, doctor who loves to read, and doesn’t mind that you already got a kid, asks you out and you say…” she trails off, seeming to only get more offended with every dreamy quality he had.

“Don’tchu get like that Jenny,” you defend yourself, as you stomp to the door in order to flip the sign to closed and lock up for the night. “I’ve got a daughter to worry about and I don’t have time for a boyfriend right now.”

“Well newsflash Y/N,” she argues, “Rosie needs a daddy.”

You feel your hackles rising at that statement. “No she doesn’t,” you state firmly, not wanting to raise your voice, because you know better than anyone how easy it is to be overheard.

She deflates a little at your obvious fury at this line of questioning, before letting out a long tired sigh. “It’s just that… when we were at the park today… she asked me why she didn’t have one. And she… she just kept pressing,” she says obviously ashamed that she hurt you, but wanting to get across her reasoning. “What am I supposed to say to that? Especially when you won’t tell nobody what happened. I only got her to drop it when I took her to the candy shop.”

You feel guilty for snapping at your friend. Jenny Hodge had been an absolute godsend since you met her almost a year ago, when she and her new husband, Lee, had moved down from Alabama. Her arrival had coincided when Rosie started becoming aggressively mobile and insisted that running was the only way to get around anymore. And because she felt she needed practice with being a Mama before she had one of her own, she insisted on being your one and only babysitter, in exchange for free books every so often.

The story around the block is that you are were the young widow who “tragically” lost her husband in an accident before he ever had the chance to meet your beautiful daughter, and with no one in the world left to turn to, you ended up on your “spinster” aunt and her “good friend” Susan’s doorstep. And Jenny, since hearing your story, has by far been your most fervent supporter outside of this house, with her support primarily coming in two flavors: 1) helping you with your daughter so she isn’t so cooped up in the store while you work and 2) trying to set you up with any moderately successful man.

“Y/N,” she says softly. “I get that it’s hard to get back out there, but you need to think about the bigger picture, because it’s only a matter of time before she starts asking you.”

You know she’s right, and that’s the worst part about it. Your little Rosie Love is a stubborn one, not to mention smart, always has been. Didn’t want to walk because she wanted to run. Hated her diaper so much she learned how to unpin it when she was barely a year old. Wanted to try to feed herself when she first took to solid food, and would snatch the spoon out of your hand when she could. She’s broken out of every play pen she’s ever been in. Hell, she was almost two weeks overdue, and the doctors were forced to induce you, she didn’t want to come out until she was good and ready.

She, like someone else you knew, is capable of throwing a wrench into any plan you make. For as endearing as it can be, it is all the more frustrating knowing exactly where she gets it from.

With a long defeated sigh, you concede to her point and thank her for both her input and for being a good friend this past year. And maybe someday you’ll be ready to find another husband.

She has a wide cheshire-cat like grin as you say that, “And I’mma ‘bout to be a better one,” she practically sings. “Lee’s friend is in town, and I think you two would hit it off.”

“And I think we wouldn’t,” you state, putting books back where they belong.

“C’mon Y/N, I thought we were past this,” she whines.

“I did say someday, not today,” you emphasize.

“Y/N, your birthday’s comin’ up soon, and it ain’t like you’re gettin’ any younger. Besides Lee and I are already trying for a baby, so I ain’t gonna be so available much longer neither,” she says in a soft voice holding your hands in hers. “And you need to find someone you can rely on too, it’s not like you wanna end up like your Aunt Gina”

You say nothing not wanting to say anything incriminating about the relationship between your Aunts, as for all that you trust Jenny, you don’t trust her enough with somebody else’s secrets.

“Just promise me you'll think about it at least,” she pleads, hands clasped over your own.

What is it about people that, not trusting you when you answer the first time, and thinking given enough time you’ll come around?

Yet you're no better as you let out a long tired sigh, before ultimately agreeing, if only to get her off your back. Or so you tell yourself.

She tells you a bit about the man she has in mind for you, or more accurately she keeps insisting how perfect the two of you would be together. In her mind it’ll be love at first sight, how he’ll love and accept Rosie as his own immediately, how she guarantees that you’ll be married within a year and be trying to give Rosie a little brother or sister. You have to bodily shove her out the door by that point lest she get into any more specifics in her attempt to sway you.

Jenny’s a little older than you, but she is very much a romantic at heart, you suppose, though that’s the benefit of things going right in your life.

But your story went wrong.

“Why you in such a hurry to get out girl?” your accomplice would ask as he handed you the money (He had made it a point of order that you were never to handle any) the day before your escape.

“There’s someone else,” you say simply, because it’s true and if they were to ever betray your trust this would be worse on them than on you.

You got away with quite a bit back in the day like getting out of trouble for making out in a dark empty classroom by claiming to have been caught by surprise by your monthlies and now you couldn’t bear the thought of being seen like this. Or when you got hired by the library for the summer after you approached the front desk and claimed to be the new hire ready for her first day of training and nobody really bothered to check in with anybody else. Even that one time when you confidently strolled backstage at a music hall He had wanted to perform all to sneak them in through the back door and convinced just enough people that his band was meant to perform that night.

Your ability to make up stories on the fly and map things out in your head had led you to believe that you would make for a pretty good mystery writer. You had even tried to go to school to be one, though you told everyone it was to be a teacher, a far more respectable and womanly job.

Well not everyone.

He certainly knew.

Knew about your talent for planning and story-telling, and was practically always in awe to see it in action. But this recognition came at the expense that he was aware of your tricks and he always knew how to throw you off just enough to make any plans you made go belly up. Whether it was something relatively small like figuring out you were planning a surprise party to the major… like when you tried to end things the first time around.

He called you almost every night when he was on tour, and you had done your best to relay all that was going on back in Memphis. And in spite of his insistence that he wants to hear about it, you suspect that he wasn’t being truthful. He especially seemed disgruntled when you made any mention of doing anything with anyone else. Your friends, his friends, even your own family weren’t safe from his ire.

When He was here you would do everything together, yet now that you tell him about all that you’d been doing, there is a slight but noticeable edge when he speaks to you over the phone. Everytime you mention how you went to the movie theater or you went to the record store or the bookshop, it was almost always met with a solemn “we used to do that together.”

You would have gone with him, had your parents let you, and He knows that so you don’t understand why he’s so sore about the fact that you’re not simply sitting on your hands back home waiting for him to return.

So in an effort to spare his feelings you asked him about the things he was doing, you even go out of your way to say how happy you were when he was telling you about all of the fun things he had done on the road. You’re happy to hear it all and you thought

You miss him just as fiercely but you don’t want it to stop you from living.

But when you got your acceptance letter, you saw the writing on the wall. You both were going in different directions: you were going to be studying, were barely going to be home and his star just kept growing and growing each day taking him further out and making him harder to reach. You know you wanted this and you begin to suspect you may want it more than you want to stay with him, if staying with him meant being alone all the same.

This was only confirmed in the weeks leading up to Prom when you couldn’t get a straight answer out of him of whether or not He would be able to make it. It was on you to practically plan everything down to what he would wear, while his whole contribution was to show up- maybe?

Whether He did show up or not that night, you thought the result would be the same with you officially breaking things off between you two. But you still held out hope that at least if he did come you would have one last good memory.

And to your relief He does make it, but he’s a little off the whole night. Not in the sense that his mind is elsewhere, more like he’s trying to commit everything about the night into memory, and looking at you with sad eyes when he thinks you’re not looking.

It all comes to a head when you’re parked outside of your house, and you’re sitting in a loaded silence with him at the wheel. He’s gripping onto that thing for dear life and you’re wondering if maybe you should save it, but you think you know yourself well enough to know that if you don’t say it now, you won't say it ever.

So as he’s opening his mouth to say something, you cut him off with his name.

“...I-I got accepted to Southwestern,” you blurted out to him and He looked so confused at your admission, but you push through. “I start in the fall, so I’m not gonna be home much anymore, and with y-you being on the road so much, I think it best that we-”

“Marry me,” he blurts out, panic etched across his face.

Your jaw is left practically on the floor as that was the last thing you ever expected out of his mouth.

You would later find out that he went to Prom with the same intention as you did but it was in that moment that he realized you weren’t going to wait for him to come back did he want to lock you down. But you didn’t see that in the moment.

What you saw at the time was the declaration that he was just as committed as you were, and so overwhelmed by the love you still felt for him at the time, you had no choice but to give an emphatic yes to him.

“We’re gonna figure this out baby,” He promises with a kiss.

That was the first time you tried to leave him.

“-Danny’s a real good singer Aunty. He told me he lives in Neverland and one day he would take me and-and he told me this is the only place in the whole word that they sell peanut butter cups,” you would hear as you made your way up the stairs connecting to the apartment above the store. You look into the small kitchen where you see your little girl sitting on the counter talking her aunt’s ear off idly dangling her little feet while holding a spatula you're not entirely sure is necessary. Gina looks over to you and gives you a playfully exasperated look, and you simply shrug your shoulders before moving into the small kitchen to pepper your little one's face in kisses.

“Alright sticky missy,” you announce, blowing a raspberry on her cheek and swiping the utensil out of her hand as she trills in delight. “You go wash up for dinner now, ya’ hear, and go wake up Aunty, I think she’ll feel alot better seeing you.”

“Ok Mama,” she says. She is utterly fearless as she slides herself to get off of the counter, and lands on her feet below. You can’t help the swell of pride that bubbles up in your chest seeing it, how brave your little girl is. You hope that you can take it as a sign that you’re doing ok at this motherhood thing.

Gina likes to say that you were just as bold at that age with the confidence of someone so sure they can take on the world, and in quieter moments she’ll lament how you lost that in you. You would be offended if you didn’t already know when exactly you lost it.

She had always been your favorite Aunt until you were about twelve and and your father would coldly tell you she died and was in hell now. Rather than a funeral, the family got together to destroy her things and swear to never speak of her again.

That didn’t stop her from visiting you one last time and telling you she was moving down to New Orleans with her friend Susan. She would take you to your favorite bookstore one last time in Memphis and promised that if you ever needed a place to stay, to not even hesitate to come, because she knew better than anyone what your family would do to girls who stepped out of line.

For years the only evidence that she was even alive was the annual birthday and Christmas gift you would get from her all under the guise of Nancy Drew books stamped with the name of a bookstore all the way in New Orleans. You cherished them and it’s one of the few things you took after your parents kicked you out.

You only wished you had taken the offer when your father had kicked you out and you were forced to rely on someone else.

“So I hear you broke another heart,” Gina idly says as she starts scooping some rice onto a plate.

You let out a long sigh, “When did Jenny find the time to tell you?” You’re more amazed than annoyed considering she didn’t leave your sight once down stairs.

“Jenny?” she says, raising a brow. “No Sue told me earlier how Lou from King’s Cafe ‘s been askin’ after you.”

Lou who always had extra beignets to give away when you took Rosie for a walk in the mornings. He recently asked if you had ever been on the Algiers ferry, and how beautiful it looked at night.

…You’ve been taking a different route to the playground since then.

“Is my love life just everybody’s business,” you ask frustrated that you weren’t even given a five minute break from this.

“In this house: yes,” she states, a grin on her face.

“Gina if this is about me movin’ out, you can talk to me, I’m a big girl,” you insist, trying to deflect and not have to think about it anymore.

“Sweetheart,” she says solemnly, placing a hand on your cheek. I may not be your mama, but I do think that you need to think about what’s best for Rosie,” she insists as she puts place mats down on the table.

Gina’s a little closer to the situation than Jenny, as she had asked no questions as to why you all of a sudden needed a place to stay far from your parents with nary a husband or boyfriend in sight to take responsibility for the baby growing within you. She had also been the one to help spread the tragic young widow narrative, and for as much of a gossip she can be, you know she’s a steel trap for secrets that matter.

“What does me getting, or not getting, a boyfriend have to do with Rosie?”

“A boyfriend? Nothing,” she dismisses. “A husband on the other hand…”she says with a smile.

“Don’tchu come talkin’ to me ‘bout gettin’ a husband,” you say, handing her another plate of food.

She laughs at that, “It’s not just about you gettin’ a husband, it’s about Rosie gettin’ a father,” she insists amused at your mulishness.

“Not you too,” you mourn what you thought was going to be a quiet evening.

“I’m just sayin’ that every child deserves two parents,” putting the lid back on the pot.

“She’s got three mama’s,” you counter.

“No,” she says waving the wooden spoon in front of your face. “She’s got one mama and two grandmas that spoil her rotten behind your back.” You open your mouth to protest, until she quickly follows up with, “Oh speak of the devil herself,” as you see your little troublemaker dragging Susan by the hand to the table, whom you had to bully into taking a rest to somewhat alleviate the migraine she had been having for most of the day.

Your daughter can talk for hours if left unchecked and you're eager to hear all of it as she bounces from subject to subject at the dinner table. You had always felt somewhat guilty intruding on their space, but Gina insists nothing of the sort and Susan jokes that the two of them are getting the full kid/grandkid experience through you and Rosie, since the traditional way ain’t for them.

Between bites she regaled the three of you with all that she did today which included seeing a dog, the playground being shiny, spinning around so fast on the merry-go-round she almost went into space, made friends with some of the ducks, saw another dog, Danny gave her his popcorn, got a lot of candy from the candy shop, and gave some jelly beans to the last dog she saw today, but only the green ones she doesn’t like, and then feeling bad about it and giving it some of the red ones to even it out.

She doesn’t mention anything to you about asking Jenny about why she doesn't have a daddy, and you breathe a sigh of relief at the first break you’ve had all day. Some may say you indulge her too much, but all three grown women at this table know exactly how it feels to have their thoughts and feelings ignored, and you all had come to the mutual understanding that Rosie would never have to feel this way in this house.

“Mama, I forgot to tell you,” Rosie states after she shoveled the last of her food into her mouth. “Barbie got a new job today!” she delights as she thrusts the doll in your face.

“Really?” you say trying to match even a quarter of her excitement. “Is she mmm… a firefighter?”

“No!” she squeals, delighted in the game you play with her.

Making a big show of putting a finger to your temple and closing one eye, apparently deep in thought, you ask, “Is she a… detective?”

“No that was yesterday!” she’s practically buzzing to tell you, but holds it in to keep this game going.

“Oh!” you say, pretending to have a lightbulb moment. “She’s a wizard!” You know your daughter well enough, so you’re reasonably confident in your guess knowing that Jenny took her to see that Disney movie today.

“No,” she laughs, “She’s an actress, but she also sings in all her movies.”

“O-oh,” you say, genuinely caught off guard by that. “Why’s that?” It’s certainly not an unusual thing for a little girl to declare, but for your daughter it most definitely was. When she declared what Barbie was going to be it was always influenced by something she saw that day. Sometimes she was a baker, sometimes a ballerina, even one memorable time a bus driver, but this is a first. Even when she has seen movies with actors in it she didn’t quite understand the concept that those aren’t their real jobs on screen, and she would pick that, which is why you guessed wizard.

“Because Danny does that,” she declares, as she starts to make Barbie dance on the dinner table.

And then it made sense, your daughter’s friend, Danny, who according to Jenny, has a penchant for making up stories. To your daughter the boy’s been a cowboy, a soldier, he’s as strong as superman, can play any instrument, and now apparently is a famous actor.

You give an amused huff, “I see Danny’s at it again,” you state, as you take her plate. It’s a literal miracle that Jenny’s impromptu trip to the candy store didn’t spoil her appetite, and but you don’t know how much of an appetite she’ll have for dessert so you decide to just split a slice of King cake with her.

“At what mama?” she asks as Gina wipes some of her food off her face.

“He’s telling stories again,” you say as you bring Gina and Susan their dessert plates.

“No he’s not,” she states, furrowing her brow, and you can’t help but quirk a smile at how stressed she looks as you sit down. “I saw it myself.”

“I’m sure you did, but Honey, it's just… sometimes boys have a habit of telling… tall tales,” you suppose that’s the nice way of putting it. It’s a fine line you walk with her, wanting to have her believe in herself most of all, but also wanting her to not believe everything she’s told, especially by boys. You’re the textbook example of what happens to supposedly smart girls who get in too deep with charming boys.

“But it’s true mama,” she insists, raising her voice a bit.

“Sweetheart, I think he means, he wants to be that when he grows up,” you try to gently justify, as you subtly try to nudge the fork closer to her.

“No mama, I saw it,” she asserts, getting progressively more upset defending her friend. “He is a famous actor and he was singing and dancing at the theater.”

“And I’m sure he’s gonna be a big star one day when he’s all grown up,” you try to assuage how worked up she’s getting. “But I don’t think he’s one right now.”

“No mama!” she yells at the top of her lungs, angry tears streaming down her face. “You’re a liar!” You feel your stomach drop to the floor and she herself looks shocked at what she just said. She proceeds to cry even harder before turning tail and running straight into the room you share with her and slamming the door as hard as she could.

When you were far enough away, and somewhat comfortable in your new environment in Your Aunties home, the first thing you did was read nearly every book about motherhood you could find. You were determined to do this right as you had made the unilateral decision for your baby to only have one parent. So you decided as a means of making up for it you would be all the parent she would need.

Doubt creeps into the back of your throat that you made the wrong decision and that you in fact were not enough on your own and that she never would have done that if He were around.

“You want me to go talk to her?” Gina would ask after hearing your door slam shut.

As bad as you want to say yes from the exhausting day you’ve had so far, you’re not about to foist your duties as a mother off onto her right now. She understands but you don’t miss the pointed look she gives to Sue, as she walks away to clean up dinner, and you bury your hand in your face hoping if you wish hard enough this day will finally come to a close.

“I remember the first time I yelled at my mama,” Sue off-handedly says after a few minutes. “Always too scared that that wretched woman would beat me black and blue if I was ever less than perfect,” she takes a sip of her tea. “And she did just that when I got fed up with all her teasing about me getting a boyfriend.”

“I… I don’t understand.”

“What I’m gettin’ at is… I was never comfortable enough with my own mother to be angry with her.”

“Am I bad at this?”

“You’re still new at this Hon,” she reassures you. “There's a big difference.”

Despite the fact that Gina was the one related to you by blood, Sue’s the only one in the world who even has an inkling as to what exactly you left behind. And that is only because she was a front row spectator to it.

You had managed to get permission to leave the hotel room for a few hours while He was on set that day. He had brought you down from Memphis, not wanting you so far out of reach and yet you were still pretty much kept confined. You had long since exhausted the books you had brought for the trip, and you were practically itching to get out.

Books were your only escape from this place. Where you could vicariously solve a mystery or meet royalty or stop a war or any other number of exciting things in your head. But inevitably you close the book and the story ends and your back in this fucking hotel room.

You realize by getting more books you're just masking a symptom rather than actually treating the illness. You couldn’t take it anymore and had begged Him to at least let you go to a bookstore to keep you occupied, because by that point you were willing to pay the price for it.

Sue had been the only one in the store the day but you hadn’t really taken notice of her, your eyes had been darting around everywhere trying to find Gina. Sonny was in there as well, as you were only able to bargain your way to being in here and picking out the books, but not enough to be able to enter the store alone. Sonny had been the one to pull the short straw and had been put on Y/N duty today. Usually that consisted of sitting in the hotel and making sure you didn’t go anywhere while also completely ignoring you.

Everybody knows the story of the last guy that paid a little too much attention to you. You still couldn’t look at raw ground beef without crying.

Outside of the occasional gathering you don’t really interact with anybody out of the immediate vicinity of home. It’s funny how He can put you in a room filled to the brim with his people yet make you feel so alone at the same time. It would be amazing if it didn’t make you feel so awful at the same time.

It’s a terrible thing He does, but it’s made all the worse that so many people can see what he’s doing keeping you prisoner and isolated and yet no one will ever dare breach it

If anything they actually help him as they all report to him practically what you did that day, do their best to talk you out of leaving the room, and even when you do insist on going off on your own, the men are quick to remind you that He won’t like it one bit. They won’t physically stop you, (they know the worst thing they can do is put their hands on you) but you know that’s where their “help” begins and ends.

At one point you even tried to play ball and asked for His permission last time you were in LA and you had wanted to go to the Griffith Observatory. You had asked in advance, agreed to only being there for two hours, and even gave in to being essentially chaperoned from a distance. Initially He had agreed to the terms and You thought you had done good and maybe you were finally coming to somewhat of a middle ground with him.

But in the days leading up to the trip He would ask for favors in return. They all just happened to be things you had refused to do for him up until that point. When you refused He would at first seemingly accept your answer, and then He would idly remind you of your upcoming trip before asking you again. You weren’t stupid enough to miss the connection and so you did what you thought you had to do for just the slightest taste of freedom.

Who are you kidding?

You practically begged and did tricks for Him like a dog for just the slightest bit of slack on your leash.

You could barely move the morning of the trip both physically and emotionally drained from what he had you do the night before, but you still persevered if only to make all that you went through worth it.

It wasn’t worth it.

Everything you saw that day was completely soured by what you had to do to get there. Every step felt like agony, and you had to make a conscious effort to not walk funny. And before you knew it the two hours were up and Red was telling you it was time to leave.

You don’t know what’s worse, the punishments or the favors.

You had to go the favor route today as otherwise he would have simply sent for someone to get you whatever books they could find, rather than letting you pick. You already know you’re going to get it when he finds out you went to a different bookstore than initially planned. You thought you could at the very least make it worth it by seeing one familiar face, but even fate denied you that as Gina was nowhere to be seen.

It was cold enough to justify wearing something to cover up most of the bruises, but that didn’t mean they were all hidden. You wouldn’t know it at the time but your skittishness coupled with the bruises struck a chord with Susan before you fully checked out of the store.

“I’m sorry if this sounds like an odd question but ummm…” you say, glancing around, making sure that Sonny was too far to hear. “Does Gina work here?”

Sue immediately tenses up, and you curse your caginess, as you reassure her that you’re Gina’s niece, Y/N. She seems to relax hearing that so at least she knows that you try to maintain a good relationship, sporadic your letters may be.

“What happened there honey?” she asks, gesturing to your wrist that has a ring of bruises on it, which you quickly move to hide. You internally curse yourself for your sloppiness. He doesn’t mean to hurt you but he tends to lose himself and be a little rougher especially when he’s worried about something else.

He’s been a little rougher for a few months now.

“Oh-ummm,” you steal a glance at Sonny, who was making his way to the counter. “Yes I am ready to check out.” Gesturing to the three towers of books you’ve managed to accumulate.

This doesn’t go unnoticed by Sue nor does she miss Sonny's statement of remembering the rules as to what you’re allowed to get, if her disapproving look is anything to go by. He’s fine with you reading but doesn’t like you reading books that will put “ideas” in your head.

You don’t exactly know what that means as the standards seem to change depending on His mood and it’s always a gamble as to what he will or won’t allow you to have. You fear the day He grows the same hatred for fictional men that he has for any man within your vicinity.

You're genuinely sad when it comes time to pay, (Well Sonny pays, He doesn’t like the idea of you handling money), and then Susan does something you could never have anticipated in a million years as Sonny grabs one stack and goes to put it in the car.

You wished it had been anybody but Sonny that day. His last girlfriend, whom he swore he was gonna make Mrs. Sonny West, had made the mistake of trying to befriend you outside of gatherings. She stopped by the house frequently just to visit and even invited you out to the salon.

And it was your mistake to believe you could have a friend that he would finally approve of. Friend or family, He eventually found something to disapprove of for everybody close to you previously. You thought that because she was already nominally part of the group, it would be fine to go.

He made it clear by the time you got home that it wasn’t.

You never saw her again after that and Sonny’s resented you ever since. You can hardly blame him, it’s easier to point the finger at you for not anticipating the unspoken rules, as opposed to the man who signs his checks and makes the rules.

You know that even the slightest toe out of line will be reported back to Him in the worst light. So you had to be on your best behavior.

“Y’know I highly recommend this book,” Sue says, sliding the book she had been reading at the counter to you.

Wide Sargasso Sea, the cover reads.

“Oh thank you but I already paid,” you say, almost afraid of this conversation. “And besides I already have enough books.”

“Sweetheart you can never have too many,” she insists and without looking opens it up to the first page where you see a little handwritten note. She closes it up before you can see what it says and slyly slots it in the middle of a stack.

Later on when you feel sufficiently safe enough to look at it you nearly burst into tears.

In case you need help

feel free to call

(xxx-xxxx)

Such a small thing really, but it’s the most human connection you’ve had with anyone else but Him in a long time.

You spend the next hour or two committing that string of numbers to memory before you proceed to rip out that page, shred it, and flush the remnants down the toilet.

Even when you were burning the number into your brain, you never thought you would have ever had the guts to use it. Back when you thought you could accept what looked to be your fate.

It would be unfair to say it was all bad, after all there was a reason you did fall for Him in the first place. When you would read mysteries and He would listen to you criticize the culprits' plans and schemes and he would look in awe at how you would’ve gotten away with it. Or how fun it was to sneak out with him, your family none the wiser. Even when things got bad and it felt like He was the only one that would talk to you for days, you cherished it because it truly felt like he was your life line.

When things were good they were great, it was just when they were bad did you start to recognize them.

Things were bad a lot towards the end.

Gladys had been one of the few willing to go to bat for you, and perhaps the only one who He would listen to. She was the only one who could set him straight when he got huffy at the thought of you having some basic independence of being able to go outside and not needing to be watched like a child all the time.

She was the one you went to with your suspicions and early symptoms, when you were too afraid to go to the doctor that reported right back to Him.

She had also been the only one who knew your fears about having this baby. In your mind there were a total of two possibilities for the life the baby would live. One that they would live a life like yours, isolated within the walls of the house under their fathers obsessive gaze, never to experience the outside world. Or two He would hate the baby on principle and see it as just competition for your time and attention like he did with everybody else.

She did her best to try to quell your fears, trying to assert He would never do either of those things, especially, the last one.

But you saw it in her eyes how she knows how sour He would get when he would come home to find you playing with his younger cousins. How He gets when someone new so much as looks your way a beat too long, or has the gall to get your attention.

How you’re barely allowed to talk to other girls your own age and that’s only saved for special occasions when his friends bring their girlfriends and He’s otherwise occupied. And even then He has a penchant for just removing you from them just to have you sit with him, and you’re out in the awkward position of being the odd one out in his group.

How when you did gather up the nerve to bring up the topic of babies to him one night his answer was “I ain’t ready to share ya’ darlin’, I don’t think I’ll eva be.”

But your most hard-hitting evidence was what happened to your dog, Hardy. He had been an old stray you saw skulking around the property, and whom you took in when He was touring. Hardy didn’t have much of an interest in running around or playing fetch, just sitting by your side and eating treats.

Everything was good until He returned. You knew it was gonna be trouble the moment He walked through the door and saw you scratching the dog’s belly. Inspite of the fact that Hardy was usually tolerant of strangers, something about Him immediately put the usually placid dog on edge. You immediately got to work on trying to find some sort of compromise in regards to him, and offered everything from making Hardy a permanently outside dog to even being willing to have him be boarded with a family member while He was home.

You had asked Gladys where Hardy was the very next morning when you couldn’t find him anywhere, only to be told that He had taken him out for a walk. You didn’t have the heart to be told a lie when He returned alone.

He started taking you with him at that point, and you hardly knew a moment's peace after that.

Your attention is not your own to freely give away, let alone your affection, He expects it all to go to him. He did lord knows what to a dog that had had the misfortune of occupying some of your time when he was there, you hardly wanted to chance the life of a baby that would need all of it.

However in spite of all of that, you thought with her by your side you would be able to weather his reaction, whatever it may be. Even if your worst fear came to be and He didn’t really want anything to do with the baby, you could at least have someone to love the baby just as fiercely even when you were otherwise occupied by Him. It wasn’t necessarily fair, but you could somewhat see the function of it, and in spite of the weariness he’s instilled in you by that point, you were still reasonably confident in your ability to plan for the long term.

And then Gladys died.

And you were left to navigate the hardest thing you could face alone.

“Ain’t nobody ever talks about how hard this can be. Or how easy it is to mess up,” Sue continues as she polishes off her plate. “But maybe…” she prods. “If you had a partner to help ease the load, you wouldn’t doubt yourself so much.”

You groan at this point wanting to truly be done with this day already. “Not this again,” you bemoan.

“Honey,” she says with a firm but comforting grip on your shoulder. “I know a thing or two about leaving bad things behind, but I do think sometimes you need to let someone else in to help you recover,” she says. And almost like they rehearsed it, Gina comes in with a mug of tea, and a kiss to Susan’s forehead as she demands she go back to bed to rest up.

You want to argue back that you did a good enough job of recovering by yourself, but that’s hardly fair to say considering how you were about as helpless as Rosie herself that first year and a half you were here. You had thought that you would’ve been out of here maybe a couple months after giving birth, and been in a completely new place with no ties whatsoever. But the reality is that there’s no possible way you or Rosie would have survived without the help they were so willing to give.

And that’s all they’re trying to do now.

You take a minute to fully gather yourself, as you realize you being upset won’t help Rosie in the slightest. You also pick up the slice of cake, as you don’t want her to think she’s being punished for being upset with you.

You find her hiding underneath the blankets of the bed you share with her and you can only hear sniffling at this point. You try to approach this delicately, as this is new territory for the both of you, so you place the cake on the nightstand, crawl underneath the sheets with her, and allow for her to come to you. Luckily you don’t have to wait for long.

“Mama!” she cries as she buries her face in your bosom, her tears already soaking through the cotton material. “Mama, I didn’t mean it! Please don’t be mad! I’m sorry Mama! Please don’t leave.”

“Sweetheart it’s okay,” you reassure her, running your nails up and down her back, as it always did the trick of settling her down when she was a baby. “Mama’s not goin’ anywhere without you. I’m always gonna be with you.” You hardly put her down her first year of life, going against all the books and holding her at just about every possible moment, so you can hardly fathom where she got this idea in her head that you would leave if you got upset with her. But remembering what Jenny had told you earlier, you have the sneaking suspicion it is related to her noticing the lack of a father in her life.

“I’m sorry mama! I’m sorry…” she repeats over and over again, and for each time you make sure to reassure her that nothing she could ever do would make you leave.

Finally when she’s tired herself out and her eyes are red and raw do you finally speak. “Rosie, it’s okay to be mad, but it’s not okay to be mean, because you’re mad,” you say softly to her running your nails on her back, something that has always soothed her.

She rubs her eyes and wipes her runny nose before looking up at you again, and gives a groggy “I understand Mama.”

“Good,” you say, kissing her forehead. “Now can you help me finish this cake.”

You see her eyes widen before she eagerly grabs the fork and dives right in. With your help, it’s not long before it’s almost entirely gone and when she takes that final bite of the cake she goes wide-eyed sticking her fingers in her mouth to pick out the errant piece. “What’s this Mama?” she says holding the little porcelain baby up.

“Oh you found it Rosie,” you say excitedly, “This means you’re going to have good luck.”

“... Like a wish?”

“Sort of,” you answer.

She gives an excited shriek before she clasps the little figurine in her hands and whispers something almost inaudible to it, with the only recognizable words being “Danny” and “Neverland.” You’re slightly disappointed that your lesson hadn’t quite landed today, but you choose to leave it for now, as you don’t see the harm in wishing to go to a non-existent magical place.

Once teeth are brushed and pajamas are put on, Rosie settles into bed, but not before making sure you’re not about to break your long-held tradition of storytime. She’s the type of kid who when she likes one story she demands to hear it over and over again.

And lately she’s latched onto Rapunzel.

The whole concept does unsettle you greatly, for how close it is to your story. But whatever qualms you have with the story you’re not gonna deny your daughter, because your problems are your own cross to bear, not hers.

As you read it you get to the part where the witch mother casts her out of the tower and she wanders the forests with her children. You wonder if Rapunzel ever found joy in those years away from the mother who isolated her, away from the prince who could have taken advantage of her. She survived not only on her own, but kept others alive as well. WHat did she do? Did she forage and hunt for her babies, did she find a village where she could work to support her family?

Sometimes you wonder if she did truly live happily after the end of the story, or if she traded one cage for another as you did before.

Your daughter is long asleep by the time you reach the happily ever after part of the story. She’s still in the habit of sucking her thumb at night, so you gently remove it, and put one of her favorite stuffies in her arms. And that marks the end of your daily duties, so in theory you should be able to finally fall asleep and be done with this day.

In theory.

In actuality you creep out of the bed you share with your daughter into the single bathroom of the apartment. Usually her steady breathing tends to be enough to get you to fall asleep, it’s been that way ever since she was a baby, but you’re left feeling agitated having had to think of Him more than usual today.

Not just because of the song on the radio, but Rosie’s outburst reminded you far too much of her father. It feels like the worst injustice that she mimics someone who isn’t even here.

Now that ain’t my fault now is it darlin’? A familiar voice whispers in your mind. You feel a shudder run down your spine at the thought of him, not to mention the way you shamefully feel yourself pool within your underwear. You slide down the bathroom door, out of sight of the mirror, as though that will prevent you from facing what you’re about to do. You even close your eyes for good measure as your hand reaches your folds and your fingers caress the slick outer lips of your pussy.

You had tried to ignore this part of yourself for so long. You justified it during your pregnancy, as your body had been making you want to do other stupid things like sleep right in the middle of the store or eat paint chips. Even after giving birth and your inner feelings remaining unchanged, you justified it by thinking you were just particularly lonely, and for all that he kept you isolated, you were never alone when you were with him. Or that he was the only man you ever knew that way so he’s all you had to go off of in order to satisfy these urges.

For as much as your mind curses Him for ever coming into your life, even after all these years, your body has yet to catch up.

You’re far from unique in your desire for him, but it’s especially shameful for you as you know what he’s truly like. It’s like scratching a mosquito bite, you may know that it’ll just make the itching worse, but dear god did it feel good in the moment.

But even that is far from an accurate description as you plunge your on fingers into your sopping channel in a poor imitation of what you remember.

You bite your lip in an effort to keep noises at bay but it just makes you concentrate on the wet squelching sounds echoing through the bathroom as you plunge your fingers into yourself. The sharp sting of pain forcing your mind back to where you experience the most of it.

“You’re so sweet darlin’,” he purrs, his jaw glistening from your juices having just made a feast of you for the past hour or so. He had made it a game to see how close he could bring you without actually letting you cum, something he tends to do when someone looks your way for a little too long, as though he means to re-establish his claim over you. That only he can give you pleasure like this but take it away on a whim if he chooses.

“No more…” you beg, new tears forming and following the trail previously set, your lips undoubtedly bruised from how much you have been chewing on them throughout. “Please,” your thighs aching from the death grip he has them in, undoubtedly leaving bruises for you to feel in the morning.

“Alright,” he says seemingly conceding. But before you can breathe a sigh of relief, he continues, “we’ll switch it up for tonight.”

He flips you over to your front, spreads your legs wide open again, and dives right back in.

You can’t help the way you’re left trembling from the memory, but what does shake you somewhat is the when you realize that it’s not simply the ghost of the memory that is making you feel that bruising pressure on your inner thigh, but in fact your own hand keeping it there.

Still the masochist within you that yearns for the ghost of a man you once thought you knew takes a hold and refuses to let go now that you’re so close to release. So you give in and continue your frantic movements biting down hard on your lip to prevent any errant cries from leaving, and grip onto your thigh for dear life, even now trying to deny yourself that you want him here with you.

As you’re coming down from your high, you fight back your tears of shame. Trying to remind yourself why you left in the first place. How for all the moments he made you feel amazing, they weren’t worth the amount of grief he caused you on a near day-to-day basis.

Grief he’s still causing you more like it.

You don’t think you could have written a better love story in the beginning. You met him when your eyes locked on each other from across your favorite bookstore back in Memphis. He had oh so shyly approached you and asked what you were reading, a bit starry eyed as he listened. Back then and arguably still the concept of a man listening to you was such a novel and unique thing to experience.

It progressed from there, hand-holding in the school hallway, shared milkshakes at the local diner, and Sunday dinners with his family. Of course there were the less than wholesome aspects of your relationship of stray hands when no one was looking and heated kisses after a particularly rousing performance.

Truly the hallmarks of the greatest love story the world had ever seen.

If only you knew how wrong a love story can go, because your story went very wrong.

You vividly remember your first time with him.

Undoubtedly the cruelest thing he ever did to you.

You were never supposed to find out about the other girls, well that’s not true. The newspapers sure knew about them but he had convinced you that it was all nonsense and that he would never do that to you. All of his friends knew, hell even some of their girlfriends knew, but ideally you were never supposed to find out.

But the only chink in the armor was that there was in fact someone who had wanted you out as soon as he stepped in. Fact of the matter is that he was practically giddy as he told you what your fiance had been doing on the road up until that point. You were heartbroken and humiliated as to what he did and even more so when you learned he had been gearing up to break up with you the night he proposed, but only stopped when he realized that you wouldn’t be waiting for him, once his career settled.

He had been calling your house non-stop and sending his friends over all with the mission to coax you into talking to him. Worse still he even got your own friends in on it and now you can’t have a single conversation with any of them that doesn’t turn into them telling you how sorry he feels for hurting you and how he desperately wants you back.

The only people, aside from his manager, that were happy at this development were your parents. They had liked him up until he started to really take off in his career, and they wanted none of the controversy, especially when it came to your squeaky clean, good girl image they had for you.

They’ve been walking around with the smuggest “I told you so” looks ever since you announced that you were done with him. If only they knew their good girl had been sneaking in her boyfriend for the past three years and had a whole routine for doing so.

But the downside to this is that He was just as aware of the routine as you were. And despite it having been awhile he evidently remembered enough as he stood outside your window, right after all the lights in your house had gone out.

“Get outta here,” you hiss at him, opening the window just a crack. “You’re gonna wake up my parents.”

“Baby I gotta talk to you,” he pleads, his face utterly heartbroken. Guilt eats at you, knowing how there were days you wished you could go back to not knowing at all. But then you get angry at not only him but yourself for these thoughts.

If only all of your love for him had died the moment you found out, you would’ve had the strength to shut the window on him that night, and your life probably would’ve taken a very different course.

But no, you’re hurt and you felt that you had to have the final word. “Talk to one a your other girls,” you say as you move to close your window but he beats you to it and ends up opening it wider, allowing for him to fully step into your space.

“Get out,” you say severely. “Get out, or I’ll scream.”

“Darlin’, please listen,” he begs.

“Don’tchu ‘baby’ ‘darlin’ me,” you whisper-yell.

“I swear things’ll be different this time round,” he pleads, clasping his hands in yours.

“I’m done with your nonsense, I want you outta my house and outta my life.” tears are already streaming down your face and you make no motion to wipe them away. If he’s gonna hurt you like this he deserves to know.

He looks at you. Truly looks at you and sees that you’re dead serious about this, that for you there is no coming back from this.

“Okay,” he says solemnly, looking down at you more defeated than you’ve ever seen him, unfelled tears doting his eyes, and his bottom lip trembling.

That takes you by surprise, but you try not to show it. “Good,” you say, trying to stamp down the urge to be mad that he’s not fighting harder. There is a hurricane of emotions going through your entire being, hating him and loving him at the same time, but you recognize that you don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of being able to sort through said emotions while he’s here.

“But…”

“But?” you say, confused as to what more there is to say.

“Let me have you,” he begs breathlessly, stepping closer to you, boxing you into the wall behind you. “Just for tonight,” he clarifies as though that’s gonna make it better.

That offends you but you can’t afford to raise your voice so you hiss at him that it’s not as though you didn’t offer when he was here. “I ain’t ever gonna forgive myself for bein’ so stupid and steppin’ out on you, I-I thought I had more time, tha-that we’d got the rest of our lives together,” he says his voice painfully small, and his eyes pleading with you to agree.

Your heart swells hearing his words, pleading with your brain to forgive him seeing how much pain the thought of never being with you again is causing the both of you. Another, unmentionable part is also hounding your brain to accept his offer if only for the fact that you had wanted this yourself for so long.

“If-If I do that…” you say in a low voice, your face burning as to what the both of you want but aren’t saying aloud. “Then you’ll leave and never come back?” though even as you say that you’re not exactly sure how you feel over that prospect.

“Just one night sweetheart,” he begs, giving you a quick desperate kiss to your lips. “One night to know what a life with you could’ve been like, and I’ll be outta yer hair forever,” he says with a quick peck to your lips.

He makes it almost sound romantic, not like he’s quite literally backing you into a corner, and coaxing you into something you’re not sure you want just so that you would finally know peace from him. But that's far from your mind as that little bit of contact does something to you and it’s like opening the floodgates for all the feelings for him you’ve been trying to bury.

It feels like you're transported to almost a year ago when, he would sneak his way back into your room after having said his goodbyes to your family and parking his car around the corner out of view. How you both move your blankets and pillows onto the floor to avoid the creaky springs of your mattress, how you both keep your voices low, and muffle most sounds with the pillows, how he kicks off his shoes and unbuttons his shirt before slowly undressing you, your body being treated like a present to unwrap.

Like this it’s easy to forget what he did, easy to forget the pain he’s caused when he’s treating you so sweetly. Kissing every inch of skin, nipping at your sensitive skin every so often, before laving at the bruising area with his tongue. You bite down on your lip hard, willing yourself to keep a cap on the filthy moans and declarations of love alike.

You had done things with him before but it had never felt quite like this. He had always been insistent that you wait until the wedding night for that, wanting to savor you and all you had to offer before the time came. Which made it feel all the worse when you did find out about those other girls. Your friends had tried to justify it by saying that he was just getting in some “practice” for you, but that hardly made it feel any better.

But the way he touches you, so sure of his newfound skills, it’s almost easy to forgive him. He treats you almost deceptively sweet, and for as hard as you try to keep yourself quiet, you admittedly don’t do a great job at it. But you manage to keep a good enough lid on yourself. But as it goes on it feels like he himself forgets that he had to do the same, as moans and groans alike continue to escape from his mouth.

That should’ve been your first clue that he was up to something, but by then as he continues to bury himself deeper and deeper into you, you can’t focus on much else. Had you been thinking straight you would remember he arguably has better control of himself than you do, as he often would tease you over it.

But in the moment that’s not what you’re thinking about. All you had on your brain was him, and how good and right he felt.

If you could go back in time you think you would’ve strangled your younger, far more naive self, as now in retrospect it became clear what he was planning on doing. He had no qualms to exposing what you had done already with him if it meant merely getting a chance to talk to you, why wouldn’t he take the opportunity to go full scorched earth if given the chance.

He continues his steady rhythm, and when he whispers in your ear, “It’s only ever gonna be you, darlin’,” you find yourself letting out a silent scream. Your eyes screwed shut, so lost in the pleasure of it all, you would only get the tail-end of the disdainful look he would give upon failing to get you to crack.

Still you vividly remember how conflicted you did feel in the moment, how for all that it felt good, it also made your stomach turn, for all the hurt he’s caused you yet how deceptively sweet he could be to you. It just gave you a serious case of whiplash.

But you were so focused on keeping as quiet as possible not even being able to fathom the heap of trouble you would be in should your parents ever find out. You could hardly fathom the agent of your destruction laid within you, but it wasn’t until it was too late did it truly click.

That devious look he had in his eyes, the one that spoke nothing but trouble. The very same look that seemingly first trapped you all those years ago when you caught it staring at you from across the bookstore. He picked up his rhythm, not allowing for you to fully recover, from the last time, as he pistons into you seeking out release for himself.

You were so dizzy in that moment you didn’t register how he raised his hand onto your night table, before quickly slamming it three times into the wall.

The very wall you shared with your parents.

Even in the moment you didn’t fully recognize what he had just done, everything sort of blurring together. Before you can even hope to get your bearings, he’s spinning the both of you around so that you now were on top of him, his fingers digging bruises into your hips, as he thrusts back up into you, no longer trying to feign tenderness, as he seems to rip another climax from you as he lets an unrestrained groan fall from his lips, while your inner walls tighten around him.

Even in your haze, you realize that this is bad, and you manage to gather yourself enough to slap your hand over his mouth, but that does little to muffle the singer. Especially as it seems as though he's hellbent to be heard. “What did you just do?” you ask unbelieving, frozen in fear even as you hear the muffled shouts of your father through the wall. You feel underneath your palm as his mouth curls into a grin, as he shudders and you feel his hot seed burn you from within. And that’s when you hear the powerful footfalls of your father burst out of his room before he slams open your bedroom door.

You can only imagine the image you make at that moment, naked sitting astride the nearly fully clothed boy you had sworn up and down for weeks you were done for good with. “What in the hell is going on in here!” your father shouts at the top of his lungs.

Everything after that happens in a blur of your fathers harsh shouts and the sharp sting that comes from your mothers hand across your face as she calls you a whore. By the time it’s all said and done you’re on your knees at the front door begging them to let you back into the house.

“Take her with you,” your daddy practically spat at him as he tossed you to your knees outside of what was once your home. “I didn’t raise no whores, and you seem to now be in the business a collectin’ them.”

You can almost hear the sound of a rattlesnake as his arm coils around your shoulder, laying his jacket over your weeping form like a gentleman. “Don’tchu worry baby,” he whispers in your ear.

He’s almost angelic in his appearance, playing the savior role well, having escaped your home relatively unscathed and in remarkably high-spirits for the situation. But you don’t have much of a choice in the moment, remembering Gina’s words of how easily this family will toss aside wayward women, but it never truly sunk in that you were liable to become one.

He would tell everybody that your daddy had thrown you out after asserting that you still wanted to be with Him in spite of all of that he’s done, and your folks practically disowned you for it. You let him say what he wants because you don’t see a point in telling the truth and if you’re being honest, part of you wants to believe it. It was a far more romantic story than what had actually happened.

As you’re coming down from your second and somehow less satisfying orgasm, does the guilt start to creep in. Even after all these years you still yearn for his touch.

But that is so much easier to admit than the alternative of missing Him.

It eats at you that you still think of Him like this after all that he did to you, and worse still it’s almost like you want him to come back.

Your heart practically leaps out your chest when you hear a soft knock at the door and for one horrifying second you think you’ve somehow summoned him to you.

“Mama…” you hear a small voice whimper behind the locked door, and you breathe a sigh of relief. “Mama, I threw up.”

You don’t know if it’s a consolidation of three different people telling you the same thing in one day, the culmination of your late night loneliness for the past four or so years, or the noxious fumes of the truly unholy combination of stomach acid, red beans, and Jelly Beans that you had to clean up in your sleep deprived state, but you come to the conclusion that you can no longer do this by yourself.

Being a mother tended to be enough of a deterrent to most men in the city, which didn’t bother you one bit, but it did make you feel all the worse when you did meet the few who were still willing even after learning about Rosie.

Sam or Lou may very well have been as nice and understanding as they seemed to be, but because of Him, you now look suspiciously at every man trying to get close.

Perhaps the women in your life were onto something and it is about time for you to move on with your life. Because if you resolve yourself to being for all intents and purposes a shut-in who never knew another man’s touch other than His, then you ran for nothing.

So it’s with a semi-defeated sigh that you tell Jenny the next morning to send over Lee’s friend to the shop while you’re working to “see how it goes.”

You do admittedly put a little more effort into your appearance than you would on an average day and you perk up every time a man who looked close to your age walked in. But if any of them were sent by Jenny they didn’t mention it.

You only ever had one boyfriend when you were a teen, so it feels more than a bit intimidating to go into this, but you can’t deny yourself a life anymore.

Afterall if you don’t then you may as well have stayed in Memphis.

The day goes by and of the few men that do enter the shop, of the few that seem interested in you, none of them knew who Jenny was.

It’s well past closing and feeling both tired and rejected, however the bane of your existence you call Jenny has yet to return, so you instead just flip the sign without properly locking up and hope they’ll be back soon. This isn’t necessarily unusual but you’re just eager for this day to end and hope that a nice cuddle with your daughter will be enough to lift your spirits.

But for now there are books that need to be out back.

Soon you finally hear the shop bell ring, but instead of the comforting tiny footsteps or the recognizable clack of Jenny’s heels, you instead hear an unfamiliar pattern of heavy footsteps over the low volume of the radio. You look between the shelves from where you’re stocking books in the back and while you can’t make out specific details you see what is undoubtedly the shape of a man standing at the counter.

“I’m sorry Sir,” you announce still from behind the shelf. “We’re closed for the evening, but please feel free to return tomorrow.”

“Oh I ain’t going anywhere sweetheart,” a voice drawls.

A voice you would recognize anywhere.

You think you begin to understand at that moment why some animals will chew off their own arms to escape a trap. After all, what is a limb or two in the face of inevitable doom? And even when they do eventually die, they will at least go with their head held high knowing that they did all that they could, because better dead than captured.

But you stand there frozen, barely capable of breathing at a steady rate. You feel like every drop of blood has been drained from your body. Like someone reached into your lungs and snatched the air right out of them. Like your bones have lost all integrity and you’re only kept standing by the mere fact you don’t want to draw attention to yourself.

He is here.

Elvis is here.

Not only that but the footsteps getting louder tell you he is getting closer.

Fuck.

Your mind is going a million miles an hour to try to get out of this, but all of them fall flat when you remember your daughter is not here and if you were to run that would just leave her in his clutches. So rather than act on any plan, you walk out from behind the bookshelf, because there is no point fighting the inevitable.

You’re hoping your look isn’t so much deer in the headlights and more awestruck and in disbelief that he found you. Which is true to some extent as you thought you had been so careful all these years, so all you can muster out when you see him for the first time is a pathetic little “h-how?”

Your hackles raise slightly as you see him reach behind him, and to your surprise he pulls out an old battered copy of Nancy Drew. You’re so confused for a second until you recognize it as yours.

One of the many that Gina would send you periodically when you lived with your parents.

One of the many that had the name of this very store stamped to the inner cover.

One of the many you took with you when you were kicked out.

One of the many left behind at Graceland.

Fuck.

You want to kick yourself both for being so careless in your haste to leave, but you have no time for that as he says, “I ain’t as smart as you baby, but I figured out your breadcrumbs eventually.”

He thinks you wanted him to find you.

Didn’tchu though?

“E-Elvis…” you whisper, the single name somehow feeling wrong as it comes out of your mouth. You’ve avoided even thinking about it all these years, as though if you try hard enough you’ll be able to purge him from your mind and thus from your life. As though simply uttering it will somehow summon him.

That theory isn’t disproven as he, as usual, wastes no time in getting straight to what he came here for, his long legs carrying himself to you as he moves to engulf you within his arms. You stave off the immediate instinct of putting your hands up and allow this to happen, remembering what used to happen when you would deny him.

He even goes so far as to spin you around, and you lose your footing and have to rely on him in order to not face plant onto the floor. But this works all the better to create the image of the long-lost lovers joyfully reuniting after so long.

But as he gazes into your eyes, it isn’t fully complete until he leans down to capture your lips. You would like to say you had to force yourself not to flinch away, but even you would know you’re not that good of a liar.

It’s a kiss for the ages truly, both all-consuming and yet leaving you longing for more. The pitfall of having denied getting close to anyone these past few years now show themselves full-force as you on instinct lean full-force into his touch, and welcome his kiss, even fully knowing how precarious your situation is.

All these years you never could’ve imagined how much you could miss touch- how much you could miss his touch. The kiss itself isn’t even broken until he roughly moves you against the bookshelf and forces his thigh between yours and your left gasping for air as you feel him for the first time.

And you can’t help the little whine that leaves your lips before you gather yourself once more to look him in the eyes.

“Did’ya miss me sweetheart?” he whispers against your lips.

“I…” you say, tears welling in your eyes. “I’ve thought about you every night.”

This is not a lie.

His fond expression doesn’t crack an inch as you say that, but before you can sigh an internal breath of relief, you feel a tight grip on your wrist as well as on your jaw.

“Then where’ve you been all these years,” he says, low and dangerous.

It’s certainly not an unfair question to ask. But you’ve been prepared to answer this question since the moment you stepped foot outside of Graceland for a quick errand.

You don’t know what he knows yet, and that’s terrifying.

“I…I…” you say in a quiet voice, all your years of preparation failing you when you needed it the most.

In the back of your mind, though you are loath to admit it, you think you always knew this day was coming, that he would find you, and the only thing you could do was to try to lessen the blowback you would experience. It’s why yours and your daughter’s last name is Love. It’s why you never tried to get involved with another man. It’s why you even made that goddamn deal in the first place.

“I’m going to disappear,” you say, casually taking a sip of your tea, not truly a fan of the taste, but lately it’s been one of the few things your sensitive stomach could handle. “And you’re gonna help me do that.” You couldn’t just ask anyone for help on this, you were surrounded only by sychophants who would do practically anything for Elvis, so you had to look elsewhere to the person whose only side he was on, was his own.

“And why would I help you?” The Colonel said, idly stirring his coffee, but obviously trying to mask the spark of interest in his eyes. For as much of a slimeball as he can be, you would be a fool to not acknowledge that he’s a decent enough businessman at the end of the day to recognize a good deal when he sees one.

“Because you want me gone as much as I wanna be gone,” you state. He hated that Elvis kept you around, even more so when Elvis made it clear he had no intention of staying a bachelor once he finished service.

Truly under any other circumstance he would be the last person in this house you would confide in, but though your desires were very different they did often run parallel. Something you realized when he talked Elvis out of eloping right before he got shipped out and into a long engagement. Truly the greatest boon you’ve been given since you’ve gotten here, the lack of recognizability or association with the rockstar will serve your purposes all the better.

“Can’t argue with that logic girl,” he says, taking a bite out of the muffins you had baked this morning as a peace offering to him. “Why do you even need my help?” he questions.

“Because I need someone to make sure that he doesn’t ever find me,” you declare, you had practiced this in your head so many times, too afraid to ever voice it aloud or write it down should any of it get back to him. Even an Ocean away you still feel his breath on the back of your neck, with the only safe place being inside your head.

You had excused yourself from following him to Germany by feigning sickness with the promise that you would join him as soon as you felt better. Which wasn’t hard to do considering your symptoms before he left, left you practically bedridden.

Ever since you figured out your… condition (it felt too scary to even think in your head, let alone voice out loud), your mind had been running rampant with all of the possibilities of how he would react. None of which you're willing to risk coming to fruition.

“And if I said No?” he asks, but from the look in his eyes he’s all but ready to pack your bags himself. Part of you feels guilty to leave the boy you once loved with such a man, but you have bigger things to worry about now.

“You’re absolutely free to say no, Parker,” you assure, but he’s savvy enough to know that’s not the end of it. You don’t know whether it’s you mimicking the late Gladys Presley, or something that comes natural with becoming a mother, however you do know you need to assert yourself now of all times, not just for your sake but your baby’s. “Regardless of your help or not, I’m gonna to leave. Now whether I’m gone for twenty minutes or twenty years, will all depend on you, but know that this will also determine how long you’ll be able to keep your position as Manager.”

He seems to bristle at your words, “And how do you figure dat Lil’ Miss?” he says with a dangerous look in his eyes as you seem to threaten the only thing he happens to care about. But once you do explain it he looks at you with no small amount of respect in his eyes as he mulls over your plan. “Quite devious,” he comments, literally tipping his hat at you. “I think I’m beginnin’ to get what he sees in you.”

You're far from proud of your plan, and the slimeball’s admiration of it doesn’t help either, but you know for a fact it will work, and Parker is gonna make damn sure that he doesn’t ever find you.

You made that plan practically bulletproof, but you never factored into account that you would choke in the moment that it truly matters. “Elvis I…” you trail off, trying to swallow the lump in your throat, clutching your hands on his shirt to keep yourself somewhat steady, trembling from the effort it takes to maintain that makeshift barrier. You’re either about to give the performance of a lifetime or… or…

You can’t think like that otherwise…

This has to work.

Your brain is going a million miles a minute, trying to remind yourself that you have to make this work if you have any hope of getting out of this without him ever having a chance of finding her.

But in real time you watch as this notion turns to ash in your mouth.

You feel as your blood freezes in your veins when you hear the door slam open only to be followed by the familiar little dashing footsteps. Your heart drops into your stomach as you hear your daughter stop dead in her tracks and you want to throw up at the thought of him laying eyes on her. This is truly what all your nightmares have been building up to, but even they paled in comparison to the reality of what would actually happen.

“Danny!!!” she squeals at the top of her lungs, before sprinting right into the arms of the man you were so desperately running from. You’re too shocked to do anything about it at the moment, and only watch in horror as something beyond your worst nightmare plays out before your very eyes.

Even when your instincts kick in to keep her away from him, he casually moves your hands out of the way as he easily scoops her up and over his head, practically playing keep away as you try to take her back. “Is today the day!?!?” she squeals, wrapping her arms around his neck as best she could, giving him a kiss on the cheek, none the wiser at the danger the two of you were in.

“It sure is baby girl,” he says with a mile wide grin on his face. “Why don’tcha go pack everything you’re gonna need in Neverland?” You don’t miss the way his eyes slide your way, no doubt trying to gauge your reaction.

She squeals in delight, as she jumps out of his arms and makes her way to the stairs, completely oblivious to your state.

Everything your daughter ever said about “Danny” suddenly makes a whole lot more sense, and you can’t help but want to kick yourself for not paying attention. You thought she was safe with Jenny, you want to throw up at the thought that you unintentionally sent her into the lion's den without her.

She doesn’t even have the decency to face you in that moment, seeing her right outside the window, in Lee’s arms -or Charlie as you would later learn- pointedly not looking in.

You don’t have the luxury of being mad as you feel his attention focus back on you in that moment.

“Now…,” he says as he brings your face closer to his, tenderly grabbing your chin, wiping away a tear. “You wanna try again, sweetheart,” he grins maliciously, knowing you’ll have no choice but to be “honest.”

And that’s it you have only one card left to play and you pray whatever forces that have written the story of your life will be merciful and let this plan work as you hoped it would all those years ago.

You fall to your knees and begin to sob uncontrollably into your palms. It’s actually easier than you had initially hoped, it in fact takes more effort not to cry when you think about him. It’s a miracle you’ve been able to stay this intelligible up to this point.

“Elvis,” you cry, trying to sound as pathetic and heartbroken as you possibly could. “Elvis I-I-I’m so sorry,” you stutter trying to really sell it. “He-he told me that you kn-knew and you didn’t want me anymore,” you hiccup for good measure. “Ho-how you couldn’t have a baby weighing you down, and that-that if I ever came back, he would make sure I would lose her for good.”

You start to hyperventilate, but it’s far from intentional, as you know your very life is at stake in this moment. If he doesn’t believe you… you can’t think like that.

You know him well enough to know that he won’t believe your words specifically, but he does believe in the world he’s created in his head. That regardless of what you feel, what you say, or even what you do, you love him and want to be with him- always. It’s just others preventing that from happening. It was the women who tempted him on the road, and then it was your family speaking poison in your ear, and then it was the men he couldn’t trust to not look your way. It was never you personally, regardless of how he would sometimes lash out at you, you wanted to be there because he wanted you to be there.

In the back of your mind when you had just barely begun to formulate leaving, you knew it would be foolish to believe there wasn’t a chance, no matter how slim, that he would find you. And you knew that it wouldn’t go without punishment should he ever find you should it ever occur. So you had to formulate a plan not just to leave, but how best to set yourself up if he ever returned.

(There have been some nights that you lay awake believing that you prepared so well not because you were paranoid, but because it was an inevitability.)

You hear his clothes shift as he kneels down before you, and he takes your chin into his hand though much gentler this time.

“Who’s ‘he’” he demands, voice as cold as a tomb.

He’s buying it, you think, though you have no time to celebrate. You let out a truly pathetic little blubber through your tears, purposefully unintelligible trying to sell the emotions.

“Who?” he asks, softer this time around, but no less urgent.

“The co-” you cut yourself off taking a deep steady breath. “The Colonel,” you whisper as though you fear speaking his name aloud will bring him to this very spot.

Parker’s far from innocent but you feel a slight twinge of guilt that his downfall would be for something he didn’t do as opposed to all the things he had done. But you can’t think like that anymore, it was gonna be either him or you.

Someone would need to suffer because of what you did, and you would be damned before it was you or your daughter.

And so Parker is now the villain who cruelly kept you and your daughter away from him, and not that you wanted so desperately to get away from him that you practically disappeared off the face of the Earth. But it seems like a fair trade. Parker loses his job, you lose your life. Maybe not in the literal sense, but in all the ways that matter you’ll be gone.

You don’t relax at all when you feel him gently cup your face in his hands to softly wipe your tears away. You look upon the devastatingly handsome man, as he looks as if he means to take you in his arms to never let you go.“Don’tchu worry baby,” he says, wiping your tears away. “You don’t gotta worry bout that rat bastard no more.” You let out a small cry, hoping it sounds more out of relief than out of devastation to his words. “So now you and Rosie can come home,” he states with a delusional smile on his face.

Despite the fact that you knew this would realistically end one of two ways, you can’t help but balk at the words. You try your best to smile at his words, but even you realize how hollow that gesture is, in spite of the part you know you’re meant to play in the moment, between the two of you, only one of you is an actor.

He’s having none of it as you feel the previously gentle hand cupping your face wrap around your throat. “Now. You. And. Rosie. Can. Come. Home.” he grits out, his grip around your neck tightening with each word emphasized.

He knows what your answer is, no doubt he’s just trying to rub salt in the wound knowing that it’s not a choice he’s giving you. This is all the proof you need that he doesn’t fully believe you, but is willing to play along. Leaving may have been forgivable, staying away for so long is another matter entirely.

He’s just punishing you for not being as enthusiastic as you should be at the prospect of coming “home,” as you should be.

You’re not playing pretend well enough.

“Mama!” Rosie squeals excitedly and when he lets go, you turn to see her making her way back downstairs, her favorite blanket now a makeshift rucksack of what you assume to be all toys dragging behind her. “Mama it worked!” she said, as she ran full tilt toward you, holding something in her palm. “Danny’s gonna take us to Neverland today.”

You see the little porcelain baby from the king cake and you find yourself wishing you were anywhere else. But you know better than to believe in wishes.

“Can we go now?” she says, her little hand grasping one of Elvis’ fingers and shaking furiously. “Now please,” she begs, before he scoops her up into his arms and propping her on his hip. He holds her close and you're forced to face what you have been ignoring all these years. The shape of the nose, the way her lips curl in such a specific way, there is only one place she could have gotten all of that from. It feels like just your luck that your child would be practically a carbon copy of the man you so desperately tried to get away from. Really it was only a matter of time before someone figured it out.

“Now hold ya’ horses yittle,” chucking her under the chin in a far too familiar manner, as she giggles in his arms. “Yer mama’s gotta get ready herself.”

“I… do…” you say, playing along, trying to keep a cap on your distress for your daughter's sake. “I-I gotta pack a few more things baby,” you say, giving her a kiss on her forehead, hoping she misses the tears in your eyes. “I’ll b-be right back.” you manage to stutter out.

“Don’t worry sweetheart,” his voice so saccharine sweet it makes our teeth ache. “We’ll be right here.”

As you turn around you feel a hard smack on your ass, and you fully stop, burning in humiliation that he would treat you like that, especially in front of your daughter.

The humiliation only further ramps up as you walk up the stairs, and you can feel the slick already gathering between your thighs. Less out of titillation you believe and more out of a defense mechanism, knowing what will more than likely happen the second he's able to get you alone.

Or is it?

It doesn’t feel real as you step into the upstairs apartment, you see Gina at the stove and Sue filling out a crossword puzzle, her glasses threatening to fall off her nose, none of which suggests they have any idea of what’s going on downstairs. You’re almost angry about that, like it would’ve been easier to walk away from them if they had also been in on it as well.

“Where’s Rosie so eager to rush off to?” Sue asks idly, not looking up from the paper.

“Oh ummm…” you say, trying to think on your feet for a decent enough lie. “ Sh-she’s going to a sleepover with-with Jenny.”

You’re usually a better liar than this, but him being so close again has you all out of sorts tonight. Not to mention your mind is running rampant with all the worst case scenarios possible at the moment with the most egregious being that he’s gonna take her and run, forcing you to chase him down the same way he’s undoubtedly done for you these past few years. You’re practically feeling every second tick by, fearing the longer you take the greater the chances will be that they’re both gone.

Is that how he felt when he was away from you? A small voice in your head asks. It’s an awful roiling feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you couldn’t even begin to imagine how it would feel if the person you loved most wasn’t where you left them. Would he be so cruel to do that to you?

“Did that fella Jenny setchu up with ever show up?” Gina asks, wiping her hands on her apron.

“Ye-yeah and… and I’m gonna get dinner with him,” you swallow, the lie tasting like bile in your mouth. As you turn to your room, already mentally mapping where the important documents were in your bedroom, preparing to pack a few outfits for Rosie, and whatever other odds and ends you would need.

Your answer catches Gina off guard, and Sue immediately looks up from the paper sharing a look with your other Aunt. “Ain’t that a little fast, Hon?”

“Maybe…” you say, hesitating as you try to hold back your tears.

“Ya don’t gotta go if you ain’t ready for it,” Sue says behind you, putting a hand on your shoulder, that you flinch away from. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong If it’s still a little too early for you.”

That’s the worst part about it. You know they would fight tooth and nail for both you and Rosie if you just asked. But you know the type of mess Elvis can and will bring into this house should you decide to fight him on this. After all they’ve done for you, keeping them out of the type of spectacle he brings is the least you can do.

“I have to go,” you say sternly.

One look at your squared back shoulders and your far away look they know there’s no stopping this. You hold back your tears as you accept their hug and accept their well wishes. You say your goodbyes promising to be back soon, unsure if you will ever see them again, and you put on your biggest fakest smile as you let go of them, wanting to at least leave them with one happy memory.

Relief floods your entire being seeing her at the bottom of the steps, only for the dread to return seeing him there with her. Especially when you hear the story he’s telling her. You don’t miss the glance he steals your way before focusing on your daughter once again. “I thought to myself, ‘thas the girl whose gonna be mine.’”

“Like-like love at first sight,” Rosie asks, and you can practically hear the stars in her eyes.

“Exactly yittle,” he drawls out. “Took her awhile to figure it out though but she learned eventually. Now we’re all gonna go home.” His eyes slide right off her and cut directly to you. Her eyes follow him and she quickly scurries off of him to reach you.

“You ready Mama?” she asks you as she takes you by the hand leading you to the door where you see a car parked right out front. It may as well have been a hearse in your mind.

You pick her up and you look down the darkened streets and you briefly flirt with the idea of just sprinting and never looking back. But the hand on your elbow guiding you to the car puts a halt to those thoughts.

You still don’t know how much of your story he does actually believe, so you sit yourself down in the car without so much as a fuss and resolve yourself to your fate. Though that doesn’t stop you from seating yourself in the middle and placing Rosie by the window, as you still aren’t totally out of the mindset of keeping her as far away from him as possible. Neither of them seem to mind as she eagerly presses tiny hands up to the glass in awe of the nightlife of New Orleans, while he slithers an arm over your shoulder bringing you closer to him.

As you contemplate what your life will look like from now on, you pass by so many places you’ve become familiar with these last four years, but what nearly breaks you are the unfamiliar places. Record stores, movie theaters, restaurants, and so many other places you avoided all due to an irrational belief that he would somehow be there. You did your best to limit your time in the outside world to only when you absolutely had to be out.

Maybe that’s why you were so willing to trust Jenny and her altruistic generosity to watch over your daughter and take her places you were too anxious to venture to.

You caged yourself into your new seemingly better life, but you didn't live at all. You were hiding. Always so afraid that he would somehow find you, you neglected to live. You put yourself in a different cage and convinced yourself you were free.

“Mama? Mama, why are you crying?” your sweet little girl asks.

But you’re gonna do what you’ve always done for your daughter. What you’ve always done when it comes to Elvis. You’re going to play pretend.

“Mama’s just so happy we’re going baby,” you say with a solemn kiss to her forehead as his grip further tightens on your shoulder.

“I know what’ll cheer you up!” she declares and completely unaware of the salt she’s about to pour on your wounds, she pulls something out of her little rucksack. “Danny, do you know the story of ‘Punzel?”

“Can’t say that I do darlin’” he says, eyeing you over her head. She sets the Grimm fairy tale book down on her lap and opens it to the worn pages she’s seemed to memorize by heart. She proceeds to read to the both of you, in the sense that she recites the story she’s heard maybe half-a-million times before word-for-word, going off pictures more than the actual words on the page to know where she’s at in the story. You try your best to focus on the book for your daughter's sake, but it’s nearly impossible to do when you feel Elvis' familiar bruising grip on your inner thigh.

You shoot him a look and grab a hold of his wandering hand, trying to signal for him to stop and pay attention to Rosie. He gives a mirthful smile to you as he feels the slick there and seemingly tightens his grip in retribution, as though he wants to get a head start on re-establishing his claim over you. You in response bite your cheek and bear it, until at one point it nearly becomes too much and one lone tear rolls down your cheek and onto the page of the prince wandering blindly through the forest.

Your daughter is far too sweet for her own good, as she notices this and gives you a gentle pat on your cheek, trying to comfort you the same you’ve done for her before.

“Don’t worry Mama,” she reassures you, mirroring what you’ve done for her when a story gets her a little too worked up. “They always live happy ever after.”

You give a shuddering sigh as Elvis finally let’s go of your thigh. You clutch onto that little porcelain figure in your pocket and hope she’s right.

You make it to Memphis in record time, Rosie having long since tired herself out, is wrapped securely in your arms, but you’ll find no suh peace with his arm coiled around your shoulder as he sadistically whispers how Rosie’ll have a blast meeting the rest of his family while the two of you get “reacquainted,” of course he used more colorful language but you don’t want to have to think about that for right now.

When the familiar gates come into view

“Ahh, my baby missed home that bad,” he whispers, giving a deceptively sweet kiss to your tear-stricken cheek. “Why don’tcha hand the ‘lil one over to me and you just head up to bed and get ready for me?”

Despite the questioning lilt in his tone you know for a fact he’s not asking. And so going against all of your instincts screaming in your head, you let go of your daughter and watch as he takes a hold of her. To your relief she’s at the very least on the same floor as you, but you can only hope that she, at the very least, will sleep through the rest of the night, because you doubt he’ll let you out even a minute sooner than he has to.

The bedroom has changed in many ways since you’ve been gone, though the most striking thing was how your side of the bed looks as though it were converted into a little shrine for you. Small baubles and trinkets you left behind on the stand, you even find an old nightgown of yours on your side of the bed, the last thing he ever saw you in. It doesn’t fit you like it used to, having and breastfeeding a baby will do that to you, but you put it on all the same knowing he will want to see you in it.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, seeing your breasts straining against the silk material and the bruises peeking out beneath the scandalously short hemline, it really does settle in that this was all inevitable. This is the very same image you saw the night before he left for Germany.

The same image that confirmed your decision to leave in the first place.

This moment, feels like the dread you always felt when getting to the last few pages of a book. As things were wrapping up and you would have to face the harsh reality of your situation...

You’re back in the fucking hotel room.

You won’t even have the luxury of daydreaming of your escape, because there is no world where you leave without Rosie, and he knows that. He knows she’s the reason you ran, and knows that without her you’re never gonna run again. That’s why he went to the lengths he did to endear himself to her first before you ever had an inkling as to what was going on.

Your thoughts turn to Jenny, and how you entrusted what you loved the most to her, only to have her spit in your face by turning around practically handing her over to him on a platter. Either she knew that he was her father and didn’t bother to question why you were so desperate to get away that you faked a whole other life, or she didn’t and handed over your daughter to a stranger. You don’t know which is worse.

You also can’t forget how she was perhaps the most vehement about you dating again, which you can’t even begin to understand if she was working for him the whole time. But you can’t put it above him that he wouldn’t have Jenny push the issue if only to further twist the knife if you ever did take up her offer. As though to remind you that you never had a chance of moving on.

Because it always goes back to him.

You want to hide from it all and you give into the urge, and crawl under the silky sheets of the bed, for all the good it will do to protect you.

Monsters don’t hide under your bed. They crawl into it. Those are your last conscious thoughts as you feel the bed shift

“Welcome home Satnin,” he whispers before you feel the sheets being ripped away from you.

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thisgirlnamedblusy · 5 months ago

Note

G!P donna, with y/n asking if she would like to trying receiving penetration, either with a strap or fingering while getting oral? as it's something she never got to try with a someone before the cadou changed things.

Yesss!!! Well, I'm not used to write that kind of things but... I've tried ;) Thank you for your request!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!! :))))

Feeling yours

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: G!P Donna, anal sex (not so explicit but, well, it's the way it has to be), strap-on, smut, Minors DNI, fluff

Word count: 5,363

Summary: She was thinking about a sensation she never felt...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I love you all!!!

“Oh, Donna...” You sighed, letting yourself fall into bed, exhausted by another of your nights of kisses, caresses, of passion, of absolute love.

The brunette smiled at you and opened her arms so you could settle into her chest, as always, your favorite part of making love.

“Did you enjoy it, tesoro?” She asked quietly, also catching her breath. You nodded, eyes shining, with a relieved smile.

“Yes... You're the best,” you whispered, making her laugh shyly.

If you were told a year ago that you were going to end up in an affair with one of the village Lords, you would probably ask them what forbidden substance they had ingested. But it was reality. After your obligatory visits to the estate, due to your job as the Duke's substitute merchant, you decided that you didn't want to leave, that you wanted to stay there.

Donna Beneviento was a lonely woman, who had no interest in social relationships. She was a hermit, locked in her old house and dedicating herself only to her dolls.

To think that you, an ordinary villager, could change that made you feel lucky, the luckiest girl in the world. Self-conscious, tormented, ashamed of what Mother Miranda's gift did to her body, Donna lived like a soul in pain, like a ghost that became tangible only when you told her how beautiful she was.

You didn't want more, you didn't ask for more. Just spend the rest of your life with her, with Angie, with what you had been calling for some time, family.

“(Y/N), can I ask you something?” Donna said, breaking you out of your thoughts. You looked at her briefly and nodded.

“Sure,” you said, pulling the sheets to cover you both and turning off the light, ready to relax and sleep.

“How does it feel?” The brunette asked, with an intriguing, curious tone.

You frowned and settled on your side of the bed, turning your head towards her.

“What are you talking about?” You wanted to know, closing your eyes and trying to stay awake. The tone of her voice was like a sleeping pill, like a relaxing infusion to your ears.

“Well, you know...” Donna murmured, nervously playing with one of your hands.

It seemed like an interesting question, so you forgot about sleeping for a moment, laughing in amusement.

“No, Donna, I don't know what you mean,” you said with a smile, enjoying the shyness so inappropriate for a Lord like her.

“When, when I make love to you... What do you feel?” She asked after a few seconds. You couldn't see her in the dark, but you imagined her cheeks had already turned red.

“What do I feel? Oh, well, it's a complicated question,” you said, blinking in disbelief at that curiosity. Donna was shy, she always was. You still remembered how nervous she was in your first time. “Why do you want to know it?”

“Well, I... I'm, I'm curious,” she said with a tone of voice that revealed how nervous she was about asking something like that.

“Let's see... It's, I don't know... I feel, you know, full of you,” you explained gently, dragging her trembling body very close to yours, to offer her some peace of mind. “When I feel you inside me it's... I don't know. It's like I'm able to understand that I'm yours.”

“Oh...” She sighed, sounding a bit disappointed by your response. “I guess you like that feeling.”

“Of course I like it,” you said immediately, diverting any negative thoughts from her mind. “Feeling that way drives me crazy, Donna, to feel that I’m yours.”

“Sorry for asking you these things. I…” Lady Beneviento said, snuggling her head into your bare chest, bringing your bodies together in the darkness. “It's just... I never, I never had the opportunity to feel that way with anyone. You know, before… Before the Cadou.”

You nodded in the dark, realizing the intent of that question. Poor Donna, she was so alone before Mother Miranda, she never had the chance to know about love, and she never would if she hadn't met you.

“I see,” you said in an understanding way, gently kissing her hair, letting her know that you were with her in her bad memories, in the memories of a life full of loneliness.

But a slightly strange idea crossed your mind, making your body tense.

“Wait, if you're so curious, we can try it,” you proposed, turning on the light and sitting on the bed, making Donna move away from and look at you with a confused expression.

“What? What are you talking about?” She asked, looking for some clue in your gaze, which became mischievous.

“You can feel that way too, even with... With your body,” you said, your voice broken by the shyness that remained in you.

“I don't think it's possible, (Y/N). I don't have... Oh, Gods...” She said, her eye widening when she realized that you were right, that, technically, it was possible. “You know what? Forget about that,” she said hurriedly, approaching her side’s nightstand and turning off the light again.

You acted by turning it on immediately after, biting your lip as you imagined this curious new scenario that had been posed for you.

“Come on, Donna, it can be funny, don't you think? Besides, you were the one who asked me if...” You said, moving her shoulders, shaking her body now with her back to yours.

“I don't... I don't think I can... I don't know if...” Donna said, probably wanting to pull hard on the sheets until they were completely torn, knowing that she was the one who started that conversation.

“Come on, you'll like it, I promise. It's not the first time I've done it that way. Once…” You explained, before Donna stirred abruptly, sitting up and glaring at you.

“Enough!” She squealed, nervous. “ I don't want to know what you did with... With other people,” she said more calmly.

You rolled your eyes and grabbed her shoulders, trying to relax her terrified gaze. She could never get used to knowing that for you, she wasn't the first.

“Okay, forget I said that but... I don't know, Donna, just think about it, okay?” You whispered, kissing her bare shoulder and then her wounded cheek, making her, little by little, breathe normally again.

She nodded and right after, she shook her head, turning her back to you again.

You huffed, turning off the light again and hugging her body from behind, ready to sleep and forget that curious proposal.

“(Y/N)...” Donna whispered, getting a little closer to you.

“Does it really feel that good? Feeling someone inside of you,” she whispered again, gently grabbing your hand around her waist.

“Even better, Donna,” you whispered in amusement, kissing her back and trying not to think about how hot your body had gotten just thinking about it.

There were no more comments, no more whispers. The sound of her deep breathing began to fill the room as you found to sleep after that image in your head, very difficult.

The next day passed calmly, idyllic, like all the others you passed by her. But there was something, something different. Donna seemed more absent than usual, as if she was mulling something over.

You confirmed your suspicions when it was time to read quietly with some tea.

“Donna,” you said to get her attention.

She looked at you briefly over her book, but quickly looked away.

“Are you here?” You asked amused, closing your book and leaving it on the side of the couch. She looked at you again for a moment, and nodded, turning a page.

“Yes, I'm reading,” Donna said with an innocent, seemingly innocent, voice. You, from the sight in front of you, knew that it wasn't innocent at all.

“Are you?” You asked again, standing up to put her book down with one hand and a frown, holding back your laughter.

“Of course,” she said, with a slightly abrupt tone, unable to keep her gaze on yours.

“Wow, I find it very curious,” you sighed, picking up the book and putting it in the correct position, since it was upside down. “It’s better this way, don't you think?”

Donna closed her eye, embarrassed and nervous for not knowing how to pretend. She could never do it, not with you.

“Fine, (Y/N), you got me,” she said crossing her arms, defensively.

“What's wrong? What are you thinking about? You've been really weird all day,” you said, sitting on her lap and cupping her face with your hands.

“Well, I...” Donna said, clearing her throat and grabbing your body so it wouldn't slip. “I was thinking about the conversation we had last night.”

You raised your eyebrows and nodded slowly.

“Were you? And what do you think?” You asked, leaving the irony and mockery for another time.

“I think... Well, maybe it's not a bad idea, I mean, I was wondering if...” She stammered, making a superhuman effort to avoid your bright eyes excited by the proposal.

“Do you want to do it?” You asked directly. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to say something, but she regretted it at the last moment. “You don't have to, Donna.”

“But I want... I want to do it, I want... I want to feel you... Inside, inside of me,” she said with a frown, protesting for your passivity. You suppressed a smile, placing a slow kiss on her lips to silence the voices of her shame.

“It's okay,” you said nonchalantly, standing up and offering her your hand. She took it after a moment of hesitation. “Don't worry, I promise you'll like it.”

The walk to the bedroom was calm, silent. There weren't those outbursts of passion that made your bodies dance next to a wall. There were no pauses, no kisses, no anxious gasps. There was only her hand holding yours tightly, evidencing the desire and the nerves that Donna felt.

“Right…. Let's get rid of this...” You said amused, unbuttoning her dress, an action that was interrupted by her hand on your wrist and a cold gaze fixed on yours.

“I see you're impatient,” the lady in black whispered, relaxing her breathing before releasing you to continue.

“Just because you were the one reading a book upside down doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about those things, darling,” you said in a seductive tone.

“You're always thinking about the same things,” Donna scolded you, smiling to make you see that she wasn't upset at all.

You shrugged, separating the two parts of her dress to reveal the shiny skin of her bare chest, while your lips kissed hers slowly, slower than other times, letting your lover enjoy the situation even more. This was going to be for her, she deserved it, and you wanted it to be special.

She brought her arms to your waist, deepening her kiss, bringing your bodies together so that they began to share their heat with each other. The fact that your minds had been wandering on that matter all day was quite obvious. The sudden gasps and involuntary movements of your hips only made it more evident.

“Ugh, Donna, I don't know who's the impatient one now...” You whispered, amused, when her black dress disappeared, crashing to the floor and revealing an incipient and noticeable bulge in her underwear.

“You’ve caused this...” The lady in black whispered back playing with her hands on the ties of your dress, making it meet hers on the old wooden floor.

You laughed in amusement, traveling to her neck, a mischievous hand running over her erection through her clothing, making Donna moan instantly.

“Lie down, Donna,” you ordered, separating yourself a bit, making her moan at the loss of contact.

She nodded when your breasts were exposed and you, wanting to see how her underwear was no longer able to hide her arousal, ran a hand gently over your chest while you bit your lip, following the brunette with your gaze, who obeyed after a few moments of admiring your body.

You followed her, gently climbing up her body, kissing her belly, the hem of her underwear, leaving the best aside and playing with your lover climbing back up on her to free Donna of her bra.

Donna gently pulled you so your kisses returned to her mouth, so your bodies danced together, rubbed together, so the friction continued where she needed it most.

Her hands, pale and more outgoing, acted on their behalf, gently squeezing one of your nipples between her fingers, then another. You gasped and closed your eyes at the sensation. You had to fight your own instincts, against the sudden desire to release her erection and position it at your already wet entrance.

With a resigned sigh, you pulled away slightly, positioning your body lower than usual, running your hands around, framing her trembling figure with your caresses before your fingers hooked on the hem of her underwear, gently pulling it down, letting out her arousal, her trembling and hard length. She was always so sensitive... To think that she could be like this with a simple caress or a furtive whisper in her ear drove you crazy.

“Why? Why do you stop?” She asked, confused by your lack of kisses, of movements. You smiled tenderly, kissing one of her thighs as you got rid of the cloth you had left.

“Donna, I want to be sure that this is what you want,” you whispered into her skin, planting small kisses around the lower part of her belly, stopping for a moment to study her gaze, without letting your caresses deviate from the path they had chosen, circling her penis and stroking it painfully slowly with your fingers.

“Yes, that's what I want,” she moaned at your soft up and down movements, at the sight of your hand gently grabbing her length, staying at the tip and making her tremble with pleasure. “I want to feel the same as you…”

You laughed and climbed up her hips again, replacing your hand with your wetness rubbing against her erection, away from your entrance, just brushing against each other as you got closer to her mouth, while you covered her with kisses again.

“Relax, Donna... I haven't even started yet...” You whispered amusedly in her ear, biting the lobe and, instead of relaxing the movements of her hips, you made them worse, making the brunette gasp anxiously, also trying to suppress her own desire.

“Just, just... Be gentle, please...” Donna begged, moving your head away from her neck, from the kisses that slowly descended to her breasts. You laughed against her skin and nodded heartily, moving your finger in circles around her belly, thinking how you could distract her from her nerves, ones that reminded you dangerously of the ones of her first time. .

“Don't worry, let yourself go and relax, if you don't, it will be impossible...” You said in an understanding tone, running the palm of your hand over her chest while your body rested on one of her legs to silence your own burning heat and the temptation to lose control.

“Okay, okay...” She said, closing her eyes and approaching to kiss you again, to calm down with your loving, tender and innocent lips. Well, almost innocent. “Sorry, I'm nervous.”

“Don't be sorry... I'll make sure you stop being so,” you said with a mischievous look on your face, giving her one last kiss, gently pulling her lower lip before kissing her chin, her neck…

She nodded, placing a hand on your head as your kisses moistened every part of her skin, as your tongue gently ran over her nipples, staying there for a while as your hands gently squeezed her breasts, knowing that was enough to make her stop worrying, at least, to worry that much.

Your next step was to continue going down, continue licking, kissing every part of her body. Laughing mischievously, you grabbed her erection again, placing a soft kiss on the tip that made her gasp in surprise.

Her reaction only served to make your kisses continue along it. They weren't dirty kisses, nor shameless licks, they were small touches with your lips, as if warning of what was to come, that your mouth had found the place where it wanted to be.

You looked at her for a moment, confirming that everything was okay. Her teeth were clenched at your actions and her hands pulled at the sheets tightly. Her hips rose towards your face, begging for your lips to continue burning her skin.

You didn't want to wait. You positioned yourself in a more comfortable position before slowly introducing her penis into your mouth, with a slow movement, with the bitter taste of her arousal on your tongue, with the shine caused by your saliva joining the one that her own body had caused.

“(Y/N)...” Donna moaned at your slow movements, at the sounds that filled the room with lust. “Your mouth is…”

“Shhh, don't talk, Donna, just let me relax you,” you scolded, joining your hand in the fun, matching the movements of your mouth with soft caresses, careful not to excite her too much, not to excite you too much.

When the only thing that came out of her mouth was just moans, and your movements on her stabilized along with the caresses of your hand, you knew it was time. Her body was no longer so tense.

Giving another soft kiss to the tip, you climbed back up to her lips, which received yours with a hungry mess, her hips begging to have you so close to her again, for your mouth to return to hers.

“You're so good, Donna...” You whispered lovingly, caressing her cheek, calming her with your words so she wouldn't get carried away by the pleasure of your movements. “You're so good, so beautiful... Come on, darling...” You said with an even softer voice. “Let me please you.”

She nodded, grabbing your hand with one of hers, sweaty, nervous and terribly overwhelmed by pleasure. Your hand on her cheek moved slowly, until two of your fingers passed over her lips under her curious gaze.

“(Y/N),” she murmured, looking at you with a mixture of curiosity and desire, letting your body continue rubbing discreetly against hers. “Please…”

You nodded, placing a kiss on her neck before slowly introducing your fingers into her mouth, letting her lick them, coating them with her saliva. The sensation was incredible and it sent hundreds of electrical currents through your body.

You pulled your fingers out slowly, enjoying the glow they now had. Afterwards, you continued with the bath of kisses from which her torso had not yet recovered. Her breathing became agitated, knowing what that gesture implied, but, before her nerves ended the passion, your mouth surrounded her erection again, slowly going down as far as you were capable. Donna was big, although that embarrassed her, and besides, your hot, lustful kisses only made it worse.

Your hand wandered aimlessly for a few moments, checking the rhythm of her moans, watching your naughty licks and the speed with which you moved.

You stopped kissing her for a moment, a moment you used to check that Donna was too excited to think about what came next. Smiling at the ease with which you were able to make her forget about her fears, you moved her body, lifting her hips slightly and spreading her legs, just a little more.

Your hand traveled along her inner thigh, avoiding those areas that Donna hated you touching, or rather, she hated that the mere act of touching them made her lose control. Gently, your caresses, your fingers reached that place, the most intimate area of your lover, caressing it with curiosity, moistening it with your fingers.

Donna twitched at the unexpected contact, but she soon relaxed, enjoying the wet feeling of your fingers in such a forbidden place. You smiled when you saw that, instead of getting uncomfortable, she seemed to get more excited, not showing any signs of discomfort when, slowly, you introduced the tip of one of your fingers while with the other hand, you continued massaging her penis up and down.

You moaned as you felt the warmth of her body surrounding you, as you felt how the moisture allowed your finger to slide easily, to squeeze into her tiny hole while her shy moans urged you to continue.

“Do you like it, darling?” You asked, moving little by little, playing with your finger, curving it, making her body adapt to it. Donna couldn't look at you, she didn't dare to, but she nodded after a gasp as she felt a second finger inside her, stretching her more.

“Yes, I... I, I feel you so much... It's, it's... It feels good...” The lady said with a whisper, moving so your fingers dared to slide further before she began to move slowly.

“I'm glad to hear it, just relax and enjoy, Donna... This is for you...” You whispered mischievously, moving uncomfortably, squeezing your thighs tightly to silence the tremors of your wetness, which claimed its part in that lustful action.

When her body became accustomed enough, you were able to maintain a steady, slow pace, without hurting, without rushing, letting all the new sensations your lover felt be as intense as possible.

Biting your lip as you heard her moans, much more intense than usual, you couldn't help but kiss her erection again running your tongue over it and putting it back in your mouth.

Her movements and moans increased, almost writhing beneath you. Your fingers penetrated her slowly, carefully and with all the affection you were capable of, but your mouth... Your mouth was wild and insatiable. It adored the taste of her, the sensation of having her inside of it, hard and shiny with excitement.

“I feel you so much... I feel you inside of me,” the brunette moaned, daring to open her eye to admire the sight in front of her. Your movements increased in speed and you could feel her release already almost filling your mouth. But no, not yet. She was not yet able to feel the same thing as you, the same thing that she didn’t know about and you were willing to show her.

“Why do you stop?” Donna asked as your fingers left her and your mouth separated from her trembling length. You really enjoyed seeing the disappointment in her eyes. “I was, I was about to…”

“I know,” you said, climbing up her body, kissing her so she could feel her arousal in her mouth, silencing her protests. “Did you like that?”

Her breathing was labored and her teeth bit her lower lip from the loss of contact, from the frustration of not being able to release. She nodded hurriedly, kissing you more intensely.

“Do you want to feel it even more?” You asked in her ear, brushing her erection again with your entrance in a playful way. You tried not to make too intense movements at that point, you knew how close she was.

“More? How, how could you…? It felt... It felt so good, (Y/N)... Do it again, please...” Donna begged with a lustful growl, leaving her shyness aside thinking about how that pleasant and new feeling could be even better.

“Wait, I'm going to look for something,” you said, kissing her cheek quickly and leaving the heat of her body with a surprised and annoyed look from Lady Beneviento.

“What are you doing? Come back, come back, please... Don't leave me like this,” The lady said desperately, kneeling on the bed and reaching out with her hand to stop you, failing due to a graceful dodging movement of your body. “(Y/N)! Come back, per favore!” She shouted, now with a darker, demanding tone.

You rolled your eyes as you searched your closet for something, something you brought into the house when you moved in, something you thought you'd never use again.

“Patience, Donna...” You purred, approaching the bed again with that strange object in your hand. Her breathing and her almost hateful gaze relaxed almost instantly, running her eye over those straps, that silicone object that seemed strange to her.

“What, what is that?” She asked with a cold look, watching how you tied it to your hips.

“Well, it seems pretty obvious, don't you think?” You joked, running a hand over her chest, kissing her neck slowly, laying her down on the bed again. “If it's too much for you, I...”

“Are you going to take me with that?” She asked again, not being able to help but look down at the small toy that was now hanging from your waist. “It… It…”

“You're bigger, Donna, and I'm not complaining,” you joked, making a shy smile light up her face, making her breathing relax again. “It’s okay if you don't want to. I understand.”

“No, I...” She said, thinking about her options, preventing you from sliding away from her again. “I'll be able to feel you more, right? I'll be able to really feel you inside of me,” she murmured, you didn't know if for herself or for you. It looked more like an internal dialogue.

“Yes, well, it would be more similar to what I feel,” you said, with a playful look, with the area between your legs already completely covered by your wet arousal.

Patience, (Y/N), you will soon have your release, you thought, leaning down to kiss Donna lovingly, understandingly as she explored the silicone object with her hands, satisfied by the softness of it.

“Please, be...” Donna said, closing her eye to give you her silent approval with a nod of her head.

“I'll be gentle, I promise, my love,” you interrupted, moving away and gently turning the brunette over, making her face away from you. “If you feel uncomfortable, or if I hurt you, please tell me,” you whispered in her ear, to which she nodded, as if she didn't want to know anything else, as if she was just waiting to feel the pleasure you gave her again.

Carefully, and studying the trembling of her body, matching her still very present erection, you raised her hips, making the upper part of her body lean downward, resting her head on the pillow, or rather, burying it in to hide the shame she felt at exposing her body like that.

You caressed her back kissing it affectionately, then her legs, her thighs, before taking out a small bottle of lubricant and spreading it on your fingers, making them return to that forbidden place, making Donna startle from the cold of that strange liquid.

“What's that? What are you doing to me?” She asked worried, nervous about not being able to see your actions. You laughed, soaking the area, spreading the liquid over the silicone as well before leaning down to be level with her cheek.

“Shhh, relax, Donna. This is to make it easier...” You whispered before returning to your actions, before reintroducing two fingers and stretching her body again. “You see? Does it feel good?”

She moaned in response, her hips bucking again at the sensation she craved so much.

“That's it... Enjoy, my love... And tell me to stop if I’m hurting you,” you whispered, positioning her body better so the tip of the small dildo coincided with her tiny hole, pressing on it lightly, making the moans more intense.

Slowly and carefully, you introduced the tip, letting Donna get used to it, controlling the trembling of her body burning with desire with soft caresses on her legs, on her back.

“(Y/N)... It's… It's… Oh, more please…” Donna said in an embarrassing way, in a way that she would regret later, as always happened. She didn't usually say those things unless she was deeply blinded by passion.

“Fine,” you said tenderly, entering a bit further, feeling how her body stretched around the silicone, how it adapted to that intruder and how she wanted to take it.

As her body adjusted and Donna's moans became eager, consumed with pleasure, you knew it was time to move, slowly, letting the sensation be pleasurable and non-invasive.

“You take it very well, Donna... Do you feel me inside of you?” You asked, heated by your actions, gently moving your hips, following the desperate rhythm of hers.

“Yes, I feel you... I feel you... I feel full of you, (Y/N), and it's... It's wonderful,” the lady moaned, raising her body a bit and asking you for more speed, which you accepted by grabbing her hips and moving with a more stable rhythm.

Your movements became uncontrolled soon, also due to the pleasure you felt when taking her that way, to the fact that you were the one causing those moans, to the fact that in some way, she felt you inside of her, she felt that which she could never feel because of the whim of Cadou on her body.

“You're perfect, Donna... Perfect for me...” You whispered, letting yourself be carried away by the pleasure, moving your hips to the rhythm of her moans, staying inside of her for a few moments before moving again.

“(Y/N), I think, I think I'm going to...” She murmured after a surprised moan, perhaps due to her body's reaction to being that way, to being taken that way.

“That's it, Donna... Let yourself go... Release yourself, my love, release with me inside of you...” you said, giving her a soft spank, to which she responded with a shy laugh.

“I can't hold on, I... I want, I need...” Donna stammered, suddenly staying still, her body tense and trembling while her release left her body with a guttural moan.

“I think you liked it,” you said, slowly getting out of her and undoing the straps before she turned around and kissed you, grateful for that experience.

“I loved it, (Y/N)... I felt you so... so inside of me...” She said embarrassed, trying to vent her excitement with kisses, to which you laughed, amused and pleased.

“Well, I'm glad, but...” You said, feigning a bit of indifference and impatience.

“But?” She asked hurriedly, sitting on the bed and avoiding looking at the mess she had made on the sheets.

“I'm afraid you'll have to return the favor...” You purred, throwing yourself on top of her, your legs on either side of her waist. She laughed amused, shaking her head.

“Give me a break, (Y/N), I just...” Donna said, being interrupted by a finger on her lips and an almost threatening look from you.

“Don't worry, leave it to me,” you said seductively, returning to the path of kisses on her body, going lower and lower.

A few moments later...

A hot bath was the perfect end to that afternoon full of passion and discoveries. After she filled you as always, after she calmed the ardor of your desires, you were relaxed, enjoying a romantic moment, a hot bath together.

“You're very quiet,” you said, leaning against her body under the water.

“Yes, I... I was thinking about how good you made me feel,” Donna said, affectionately. “I love you, (Y/N).”

“Oh, me too...” You said in a cheesy voice, turning around to kiss her, your legs tangled under the water and steam. “Well, if you want we can repeat it tomorrow.”

“Oh, well,” she said hurriedly, with a strange grimace. “No, it's not necessary, (Y/N)... I just...”

“You just? You didn’t like it?” You asked curiously, afraid that she had lied and the moans you heard were not of pleasure.

“Yes, I really liked it. But, the most important thing is how you have made me feel,” she explained, dispelling the shadow of doubt.

“Mmm, explain yourself,” you said amused, feeling that it was another of the occasions in which her shyness prevented her from speaking clearly.

“After all this time I... I felt like you were mine,” she began, lowering the tone of her voice, caressing you tenderly. “And, for, for the first time I have felt… I have felt that I’m yours…”

#donna beneviento #donna beneviento x reader #re8 donna #re8 village #oneshot #requests

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