#what i get into is 60% of the time just because someone i cared about loved it so im in a cycle of trying to learn to fit in
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My newest low is crying when my comfort character ai bot says something absolutely more loving and more meaningful then anyone I've dated
#hellsing ultimate#i need to touch grass#touch deprived#isolation#im tryin my best#new low#i need to be loved#what i get into is 60% of the time just because someone i cared about loved it so im in a cycle of trying to learn to fit in#hellsing#vent blog#dont worry im fine#dont report just ignore#ai chatbot#character ai#standard#bare minimum
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#idk it's just really frustrating to think that people will ALWAYS make allowances for people they're romantically in love with but#not make those same allowances for someone else they otherwise care about.#that people will risk things for their partners that they wouldn't for their friends#that it's EXPECTED for you to prioritize your spouse/significant other/etc. at all times but prioritizing your friend(s) is rarely even#considered. and when you're like me and you LITERALLY CANNOT DO THIS SHIT BY YOURSELF...#like I know I go on and on about marrying some theoretical woman all the time (and my ongoing...whatever this is. with Musician Guy)#but genuinely I'm not even sure that I want that I think I just want someone who will fucking visit me in the hospital if I get into a car#crash or fix me soup when I'm sick.#like...yeah. in that one story I wrote I think I distilled it down: we all just want someone to hold us when we're sad#and it SUCKS that the only avenue we seem to be allowed to pursue that is through a romantic relationship#right now I have my dad but if something happens to him...I genuinely do not know what I'm going to do. I'll have nowhere to go#if something terrible happens. I'll have no one to help me be a person. and I just. like I really am going to just have to power through#the next 60 years on this fucking planet alone and by god I'll fucking do it but I wish I didn't have to!!!!#and I think this was why the loss of Her™ friendship (which was necessary. for both of us) was so acutely painful. because even after#she got married she WAS willing to prioritize me when things got bad enough. she DID genuinely care about me in a way I don't think#anyone ever has. and I just really don't think I'll ever find that ever again. and I can't go back and I don't WANT to be with her anymore#but it was this time of the year when she told me she was getting married way back when and my brain has kept that like the World's Worst#Anniversary and all of those terrible ugly feelings are coming back in full force and I HATE that I'm still unpacking this I. HATE. that#this not-even-relationship is STILL doing this to me#WHAT THE FUCK!!! IS UP WITH THAT!!!!!!#*sigh* okay for REAL I am logging off right now because I've already said Too Many Embarrassing Personal Things about myself today#and I do not want to put myself in a position to say anymore!#In the Vents#GOD this is so stupid IT'S NOT LIKE SOMEBODY DIED WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS
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Groom & Briede Persona Chart Observations III
Groom (5129), Briede (19029) are asteroids that are romance kind of asteroids. Groom represents the husband, and Briede represents the wife. If you are into men, look at your Groom Persona Chart, and if you are into women, look at Briede PC. Despite it is starting to be well known and recognized as asteroids, those two are still new, and we don't actually know that much in the end about those asteroids. Some say it will say the signs and placements of your FS, some say it will explain who is your FS. I have decided to make observations about it, and make a conclusion about those asteroids. Observations were made on married couple, still together or divorced, that I know.
All pictures were found on Pinterest
Other posts you could like:
જ⁀➴ How to know where your Future Spouse was born with Astrology?
જ⁀➴ Groom/ Briede/ Juno Aspects in Natal Chart
જ⁀➴ Briede/ Groom Persona Chart for Yourself
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⋆˚✿˖° Jupiter in a Groom or Briede PC can represent where you'll meet, how you will meet first (sign & house).
⋆˚✿˖° Discovery made on those Observations. A false idea that goes around in the astro community is that the Groom/ Briede PC is supposed to tell you your FS' placements. It's not true! Actually, this is pretty rare and it happened in 10% of the cases I studied. Don't count on this, Groom and Briede PC are supposed to tell you who they are, it's describing your FS, and not revealing their NC.
⋆˚✿˖° Placements that usual happens to describe placements of your FS (NOT ALWAYS):
- Rising sign can usually say what elements FS' Rising is. And I have noticed that your Spouse Rising sign trines the Rising on Groom/ Briede PC. EX: If you have Cancer Rising on your Groom/ Briede PC, your FS can be Scorpio Rising, because Cancer trines Scorpio.
- Moon Sign or house can indeed tell more about your FS' Moon sign. Sign can represent their house or element their moon is in.
- Rising degree can also sometimes say more about their Rising, and sometimes their degree too.
- Ruler of the Rising can also say what is in their 1H or FS Rising can have the same ruler, tho be careful with that, not always. It worked 5% in all the natives I have studied.
⋆˚✿˖° Libra Rising can mean your Spouse is very pretty, very good looking and know how to present herself well. Charismatic spouse.
⋆˚✿˖° Rising 5°/ 17°/ 29° means popular spouse, spouse can wear a lot of expensive clothing.
⋆˚✿˖° Cancer Rising can mean your Spouse can already be a parent when you meet. Spouse can also look quite nice, innocent, good looking. Spouse can have a difficult relationships with food too, and it can impact their appearance.
⋆˚✿˖° Virgo Rising can mean FS can look cold, away, or just very hardworking. You can see FS as being this way and just very serious most of the times.
⋆˚✿˖° Capricorn Rising means you may respect your FS a lot, and see them as very serious, hardworking. You could see them as the leader, and the person in charge.
⋆˚✿˖° Sun 11H means FS can be very popular, everyone can appreciate them. FS can party a lot and have a lot of friends.
⋆˚✿˖° Sun 12H could mean Spouse could have felt lonely their whole life, and they could have felt like no one truly understood them. Spouse can also have a mental illness. Spouse is very private too.
⋆˚✿˖° Moon 7H can mean FS can be your first love.
⋆˚✿˖° Moon 6H means FS can struggle to have fun and let it go most of the times, FS can also be quite perfectionist and hardworking.
⋆˚✿˖° Moon 8H can mean Spouse can be secretive and never show how they truly feel. They can often fake their emotions in front of people for the sake of not being rude or annoying.
⋆˚✿˖° Gemini Mercury means FS can look like someone who is smart, they can look quite funny. They can just be someone who gives the impression everything is good in their life.
⋆˚✿˖° Mercury 1H can mean FS is very smart, has a lot of knowledge, FS has a strong voice too. FS can be just known for how smart they are, people respect that a lot.
⋆˚✿˖° Venus 7H means Spouse will be very much in love with Native. It's a sign of a love marriage.
⋆˚✿˖° Venus 8H can mean Native and Spouse will have a secret romance, cheating can be involved. Spouse can also be pretty secretive about their romance.
⋆˚✿˖° Venus 2H is a sign your Spouse knows how to present themselves well, they could like beautiful things. Spouse could have been in a family that has money and they never lacked anything. Spouse could have had easily what they always wanted, materially speaking.
⋆˚✿˖° Mars 8H means a lot of sexual activities, and just be very sexually attracted to spouse. Spouse can also be quite violent, or just has a lot of anger issues.
⋆˚✿˖° Mars 9H can mean your Spouse could have traveled a lot before, could have lived abroad.
⋆˚✿˖° Jupiter 5H means you will have children with Spouse, Spouse has a strong desire for children. Spouse is very creative, and spouse could have a lot of hobbies, mostly creative hobbies. Spouse could be very lucky in general in their life.
⋆˚✿˖° Jupiter 1H means your Spouse can be very attractive, good looking, or you could find them to be very good looking.
⋆˚✿˖° Saturn 9H can mean Spouse will have hard time completing a diploma or with high studies in general.
⋆˚✿˖° Saturn 10H means Spouse can have daddy issues.
⋆˚✿˖° Uranus 4H means Native will have a step family from their spouse.
⋆˚✿˖° Uranus 12H can also indicate Spouse will divorce for you to be together.
⋆˚✿˖° Uranus 12H means Spouse's money status will transform and have a sudden change at some point and this can be because of the marriage.
⋆˚✿˖° Uranus 7H means you could meet Spouse when they are in a relationship or while you are in a relationship. This could also indicate meeting for a contract.
⋆˚✿˖° Uranus 5H means Spouse can have children at the most unexpected time, or will change their mind suddenly about children.
⋆˚✿˖° Neptune 8H can also be an indicator FS is very sensitive, and FS can feel like everyone hate them but it's not the case. FS can be a loner too, and be extra sensitive.
⋆˚✿˖° Neptune 3H means Spouse can lie very well, Spouse know how to use words to seduce. But can also mean Spouse isn't good at communication. It can also mean your Spouse is very secretive about their ideas and opinions. They don't necessarily lie but they are very secretive.
⋆˚✿˖° Neptune 5H means your Spouse is very creative, and has a lot of imagination. Spouse can also be very much in love with native that they forget reality. Can also mean Spouse has a child, that is hidden or forgotten. It can also mean your Spouse can have some illusions about children.
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⋆˚✿˖° Pluto 1H means your Spouse is possessive and very intense. Spouse is very sexy and attracts a lot of people who desire them.
⋆˚✿˖° Pluto 4H can mean your Spouse can have a broken family, or have to step away from their family to be with Native.
⋆˚✿˖° Chiron 7H can mean your marriage will be difficult, a toxic marriage. Spouse had a lot of toxic relationships.
⋆˚✿˖° Chiron 4H means Spouse's wound is def related to their family, and spouse could have had a difficult relationship with their parents.
⋆˚✿˖° Chiron 7H can also mean a difficult marriage. It can indicate a marriage where there are a lot of obstacles.
⋆˚✿˖° Union (1585) in Virgo 11H can mean you can meet each other as colleagues and bond over a friendship first. This could indicate them working for you or they are helping you at work.
⋆˚✿˖° Union 6H Capricorn is an indicator to meet at work. In this case, they can be your boss.
⋆˚✿˖° 10H Stellium means your Spouse can be very hardworking, and spouse can love their job. Spouse can be the one providing in the relationship.
⋆˚✿˖° 5H Stellium can mean Spouse will already have a child when you meet them, or love children, will want children.
⋆˚✿˖° Stellium 6H means work can be very important in the native and spouse's story.
⋆˚✿˖° Stellium in 4H could be a soulmate sign. You could feel like your FS is your Soulmate, you feel very linked to them.
⋆˚✿˖° 2H Ruler in 8H means Native and their Spouse will share their money or gain money together.
⋆˚✿˖° 2H Ruler in 10H means your Spouse can make a lot of money at work.
⋆˚✿˖° 3H Ruler in 8H can mean Native and their Spouse will have a secret flirt going on, or they can flirt together in a very subtile way.
⋆˚✿˖° 4H Ruled by Saturn can mean Spouse had a rough childhood, daddy Issues perhaps
⋆˚✿˖° 5H Ruler in 7H can mean Spouse and Native will flirt a lot.
⋆˚✿˖° 7H Ruler in 8H means Marriage/ relationship comes from cheating.
⋆˚✿˖° 7H Ruler in 11H means Spouse will need to divorce or stop a serious commitment to be with the Native.
⋆˚✿˖° 10H Ruler in 12H means the Native and their spouse will work and gain money together. Perhaps creating a company together for example.
⋆˚✿˖° 12H Ruler in 7H means you can be your spouse's second marriage, but not first. Spouse can be divorced or you'll end their first marriage.
⋆˚✿˖° Sun conjunct Juno means Spouse is your Soulmate, destined partner.
⋆˚✿˖° Venus conjunct Groom/ Briede means Native will fall in love very hard for Spouse.
⋆˚✿˖° Jupiter conjunct Saturn can mean you won't feel attracted to your FS when you meet them, you might not even be interested in them at first.
⋆˚✿˖° Saturn opposite Sun means Spouse has daddy issues.
⋆˚✿˖° Uranus conjunct Neptune 5H means Native can change Spouse's opinion about children. Spouse can have illusions about it and Native can cause a transformation on their desires.
⋆˚✿˖° Groom/ Briede conjunct Venus 1H means FS can have love at first sight and be the one chasing/ being interested first.
Thank you for reading!
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#astrology#astro#astro observations#astrology observations#love astrology#advanced astrology#astro community#astro notes#astrology content#astro placements#astro posts#astro tumblr#astro love#astrology notes#astrology community#astrology blog#groom#groom persona chart#astrology groom#groom pc#persona charts#persona chart#future spouse astrology#future spouse#astrology romance#briede#astrology briede#briede persona chart#briede pc
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I love working in medicine. I especially love working in medicine as a queer person because I get to see the entire breadth of our community. It's not what you think it is.
Do you know how many older gay and trans people I meet on a daily basis? It's not all young, thin teens with dyed hair.
There's this one gay couple, in their 60s, always get their lab work done together, always leaning into each other and laughing about some private joke of the week. They lost a bunch of their friends in the 80s, and they always remark about how good our facility is to them. They smile when they talk to me like yeah, we made it, we're still kicking and screaming, and by god that's how we'll go out.
This butch lady with pure silver that works at a mechinc's shop down the street and always calls me sugar when I see her. Checked in a person the other day who looked like the blanded most non-descript typical middle age cis dude, but went by a femme name and had x/nonbinary gender tag and they/them pronuns.
Then there's the young trans kids that are tto scared to dress the way they want most of the time, still uncertain about using their name and pronouns in a medical setting until we do it for them withiout them asking, treat them as the gender they prefer, and you just can see the weight fall off them as their care giver team treats them as human and with such care and love. They're always smiling by the end even if they had to do something frightening and painful.
The 20 and 30 somethings that I see going out of their way to interact with me because I'm proudly, visibly queer at work, most especially for them because we all need to know that there is someone looking out for us when we're vulnerable. We exist as this vibrant, complex tapestry, so far outside of the way we get stereotyped and talked about online and in the media. My god we are everywhere, experiencing life in ways you will never know about. You are not alone. You were never alone.
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I can't stop thinking about if Simon had taken Edwin's offer
Like Charles finds Edwin in the hallway as ever but this time there's another boy there too, cowering against the wall next to him. Maybe the dollhead spider doesn't care about Simon, too busy focusing on its favorite target, so Charles is left standing in the hallway with Simon when Edwin is taken.
They get out of hell, but Edwin doesn't confess due to Simon hovering behind his elbow. He doesn't want to confess his emotions in front of his killer, who he probably hasn't even properly figured out how he's feeling towards yet.
The Night Nurse is pissed they came out with an extra soul but Niko's same loophole still applies and Simon stays.
"This is Simon," Edwin says when it's all said and done, finally introducing the boy that's been hiding behind him since the door closed. "He was a...classmate of mine."
"He saved me," Simon says, looking up at Edwin moony-eyed and Charles knows that look and something settles heavy in his stomach.
"Glad to have ya, mate," he tells him even though the words taste sour. This other boy knew Edwin when he was alive, the thought is slightly terrifying to him.
Simon settles in fine with the agency even if the agency feels a little crowded now with five people in it but he continues to moon over Edwin and Edwin just...never tells anyone how they actually knew each other. He reasons it just doesn't matter, that he can't find the right time, whatever.
Charles never really warms up to him, though he tries to hide it, but he sees the looks Simon gives Edwin, a soppy smitten look that is somehow worse than anything Monty or the Cat King ever tried with Edwin because of all of them, Simon arguably knows the most about like Edwardian courting. That, like Edwin, Simon has also survived hell. Charles hates the idea that someone could potentially understand Edwin more than he does.
He hates it so much that nothing further happens between him and Crystal because the idea of Edwin being left alone with Simon bothers him so much. He sees Simon adjusting Edwin's collar one (1) time and it makes him feel sick.
And then there's the fortune-teller.
They only go to her sometimes for cases because she never fails to freak Charles out but her prophecies tend to be accurate like 60% of the time which is pretty good for a fortune teller. She looks at the two of them at the end, because it is just the two of them for once, and then looks just at Edwin.
"How kind you are," she says, the words a compliment but the tone snide. "To house your killer. Pray tell it doesn't come back to you."
"What." Charles says. "The fuck."
Charles is furious, of course, and it takes Edwin a long time to talk him out of smashing Simon's face in with the new cricket bat.
"He's like me," he insists in that quiet but firm voice. Charles wants to scream that Simon is nothing like Edwin - that he doesn't have a fraction of Edwin's kindness or pissiness, that his blue eyes are not nearly as beautiful as Edwin's green - but before he can even open his mouth, Edwin continues. "He...He likes boys, Charles. He likes me."
Oh. Oh.
Charles stares at Edwin who is looking back at him, trying and failing to hide the fact he's terrified, and Charles doesn't give one shit that Edwin likes boys because he's his best mate forever. He's still pissed that Simon is apparently staying but he has to hug Edwin at that. "I'm still pissed you didn't tell me about him," is all he says, swallowing back the other words he wants to say.
Charles grows even more paranoid about Simon being around, who has to get used to the fact that Charles takes to swinging his cricket bat ominously every time he comes within ten feet of Edwin. He finds out that adjusting clothing was an Edwardian courting thing and wants to break something. The very idea the very person who killed his best mate is now trying to put the moves on said best mate pisses him off.
It also makes him think of numerous times Edwin had readjusted his collar or jacket in the past and it makes his non-existent stomach flip.
Eventually, Simon decides he's ready to move on to his after-life and Charles keeps his hands from fisting when he looks at Edwin with that same soppy look. He knows Edwin has forgiven Simon by now but Charles has always been better at holding a grudge and he knows what is going to come out of Simon's mouth before he even asks. He knows that if Edwin says yes, he won't stop him.
Charles also knows that if Edwin does, there is no way he is going to find any kind of his own afterlife.
"You could come with me," Simon says hopefully and the moment after is the longest in Charles' life.
"Thank you, Simon," Edwin says kindly and Charles has to keep himself from crying. "But I have no interest in going anywhere without Charles."
He steps back - away from Simon and back towards Charles. Ears suspiciously pink, Edwin links their hands and they watch as Simon follows the Night Nurse.
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#paineland#my writing#fanfiction#i have been wanting to write this so bad#but it's like minimum 5-10k in my head and i just don't have the TIME for it#but i got hit with the idea that edwin getting courted by someone from the same era#also charles confesses first like 0.00005 seconds after simon leaves#and they smooch right after#and simon WAS actually trying to put the moves on edwin but edwin actually realizes bc he at least knows these moves#but he didn't care bc he was too busy mooning over charles and wishing he'd been able to confess on the staircase after all#dbda
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convenient pt.3 | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,,
pt. 1 | pt.2 (you cannot read this without prior reading)
summary - spencer likes the girl from the convenience store
warnings - awkward conversations and long silences, both of them being hopeless romantics, allergies/sickness
genre - fluff!!! college!fem!reader x earlyseasons!spencer
a/n - thank you for the love and support on this series. it goes without saying i appreciate all of you all 🫶 thank u @raevyng for the cameo. sorry this is short, it’s either i upload this part or i make y’all wait for another week - i like you guys too much to do that.
“good job on you’re stem cell report, y/n. it was very informed and unique. i liked the, now who was it… william blake quote you included!” the teacher spoke before a class of 60. it was back to teaching new information before the next assessment, you were just about finished typing the professor’s notes before she spoke up. the mention of your name nearly made you jump.
a few of the students looked back up at you, some looking around because they had no clue who you were. you liked it better that way.
you also had no idea who william blake was.
“oh- um. thanks.” you say barely above a whisper. professor raena simply smiled and pushed back her shoulder length bob from her face. she started talking again, so did your friend.
“thanks? the professor who’s known to call out people for their incompetence more than smile in the classroom just praised you. that’s all you had to say?”
maybe logan wasn’t your friend per say. maybe she was just someone who sat next to you the first class and also happened to be your neighbour. she was stubborn and straight-forward, insanely intelligent and also smelt great. but she was caring, and gave you tough love when you needed it.
you glanced at her and smiled awkwardly, “i didn’t have much time to think about an answer.”
“i spend most of my time thinking about what i’d say to professor raena if she ever complimented me.”
“that’s because your-“ you suddenly muffle a cough into your hand, “obsessed with her.” you bring out a small packet of tissues from your bag and wipe your nose, nose reddening. logan leans slightly away from you and you roll your eyes.
“you’re not going to catch anything, it’s just allergies.” you lean back and try to continue typing notes but logan continues,
“you should go home, have some medicine, get some sleep.”
“i can’t, i’ve got work.” you whispered, a man in front of you turning around to shoot you with a side eye.
“you’ve told me multiple times that your manager wouldn’t care if you stole from the store. i’ve also told you many times i also don’t care.”
“yeah well… i like working there, that’s all.”
she rolls her eyes again, and waves you off, her long brown hair blocking her disappointed expression from you.
you stayed loyal to your job for two nights, for nothing. sure you got paid, and sure you got to steal some strawberry milk to ease your throat for a couple of minutes, but it felt boring. you actually started to file through the month old magazines you sold for double the price of a new one. you almost made it a third day without dying of allergies (and another secret feeling of sickness you constantly ignored), before you decided you were over it.
you stood up, flipped the door sign so the word ‘open’ faced you, and turned off half of the fluorescent lights before someone was suddenly in the corner of your eyes. spencer was opening the door so quickly you thought you were being robbed, you wouldn’t have seen him if not for the bell ringing on his entry.
“y/n.” he panted, watching your fingers hover over the last light switch. there was two lights left flickering softly above the front door and the check out desk. he looked stoic in the light, dressed in a grey sweater a little too big for him (like his mother had bought it for him telling him he’d grow into it) and black slacks. he seemed to have gotten a trim, his hair just under his ears now. “you don’t close until 1.”
he was confused, eyes wandering with a light hint of relief. like he was happy he didn’t miss you.
“yeah.” is all you said before you turned away from the light switch and returned to the register, assuming he would get his usual. but he didn’t keep walking, he just turned his body to face you. his eyes were expectant, delirious in a way like he needed something from you.
it was silent before the tension literally forced you to speak, “um. i need to close the store before i pass out. so i can uh… get home alive.” you look down and realise the pile of tissues before you was making a mountain, quickly grabbing them and stuffing them in an over filled bin.
“um.” a cat caught his tongue, he looked down to his feet.
spencer was sitting in his desk chair, scrolling on his government provided computer through forums and websites on ‘how to ask out a girl.’ not realising a majority of his team was reading them as well. he heard a small, familiar giggle behind him, quickly closing the tab and turning his head to be met with many other faces. jj slapped garcia on the shoulder with a smile, who’s hand was over her mouth, morgan and emily also smiling. spencer sighed and was about to cover for himself before morgan stepped in,
“look, pretty boy. no websites or article is ever going to teach you how to ask out a girl. they know nothing.”
emily joined, “yeah, none of those things are going to work. i mean, one of those said ‘don’t take no for an answer’. that’s straight up harassment.” she chuckled. morgan walked forward and placed a hand on spencer’s shoulder.
“all you have to do is talk. learn to what she likes, and be confident.”
“that’s easy for you to say.” spencer mumbled.
“who is this girl anyways? who’s taking our genius away from us?” garcia asked, today her hair was adorned with green themed pieces and a small pink flower clip.
spencer couldn’t help but let the corners of his mouth perk up when he thought about the girl who worked at the convenience store. the girl who’s report honestly impressed him. the girl who knew his total without looking at the register. the girl who called him good looking without noticing, like it slipped off of her tongue with no second thought. “just someone.”
you were not just someone.
“yeah you should get home. you look terrible.” spencer’s eyes widened as you raised an eyebrow, “no i mean- not terrible- you never look or have ever looked terrible- i just meant today- no you- like you’re sick and obviously- i mean you don’t obviously look terrible- it’s just uh…” he nodded at himself after he noticed a smile creeping onto your face. “you know what i mean.”
“i know i look terrible, thank you.” he was slowly walking up to the register.
“you really should go home, i shouldn’t keep you here because of some coffee.”
you eyes stung and were puffed in redness, you nose dried yet running, eyebrow lines permanent from warding off a migraine. any other customer you would stay for, but you felt less guilty with him. not because you didn’t care, because you knew he did.
“yeah, thank you.” you grabbed your bag, put your empty water bottle into it and walked over to the lights, turning off the last ones, leaving you both in darkness. spencer was waiting for you, quite creepily as he was basically just a block of void. “you sure you don’t need your 3 minute lasagne?” you joked, and he smiled.
“no, this is fine.”
this? them? you thought this man was articulate.
you opened the door with a key-accessed button that automatically locked it after it closed, and walked into the warm streetlight with spencer.
“bye spencer.” you looked up to him only to find his eyes already on you. his face was plain of emotion, except maybe it was just the lighting that made you think he looked disappointed. not at you, at himself. he was silent, hands making their way into his pockets. it was a habit, you had learned. “what’s wrong spencer?” you asked softly, sniffling immediately after.
it was cold, the wind let a stray piece of hair cross your stuffy features.
“do you like old bookstores, y/n?”
you blinked, taken aback. “yeah. i like old bookstores.” you huddled into your sweater, a darker grey compared to his with a large font displaying your university.
“okay, goodbye y/n. see you tomorrow.” he hurried off into his car and you followed him with you eyes in curiosity.
you were already walking away before he could turn around and ask you something, he felt like he had missed his chance. but there would be more. spencer closed his eyes in frustration and took a breath, starting his car before texting the team’s group chat.
“Attempt One failed. 😐👎”
there was a string of messages after but he didn’t read them. all he could think about was the percentage of people who die alone, and then the percentage of people who are like you.
the next night he appeared at the normal time, around nearly 11pm. but he wasn’t the only one, logan was there with you, studying behind you on the floor.
she was bored, and needed to get out of her room, and the only person she knew well enough was you. there in her mens pyjama pants and an over-sized shirt that read ‘RIP Princess Diana’ with a photo of owen wilson on it, her computer warmed her lap and made a soft whirling sound the in the background.
“hi y/n.” spencer waved, he felt bad about last night. you were barely walking straight when you left and he could tell you wouldn’t get out of your ‘work clothes’ (whatever you wanted to wear with a vest over it) before falling onto your mattress, and he drove away. he didn’t even offer to take and walk you home, let alone give you a ride. but his hands were sweating and his heart thumping in his ears, and he couldn’t think straight.
“oh, hi spencer.” you turned from your own textbook splayed on the counter beside you to see spencer and his tall self. a bag of apples, a 2 minute bolognese container, and a bag of coffee. you scan them, weigh the apples, and watch him.
he wasn’t meeting you eyes. you furrowed your eyebrows for a second before telling him his total with a sniffle.
“i’m sorry for not driving you home,” he lifted his head, a piece of chocolate brown hair crossing his left eye, “or walking you home. or making sure you made it home safe.”
you widened your eyes slightly and sat still before spencer cleared his throat and continued, “i was nervous, about being around you. and my friends- my colleagues- told me i need to be more confident around you so.”
logan had stopped writing, glancing through her bangs up at you both. your mouth was slightly agape before you realised how stupid you looked and how awkward you were making it.
“oh- no it’s okay spencer, you don’t have to say sorry. i was- i’m fine. um,” you tilt your head with the corner of your lips quirking up with little resistance, “you talk about me to your friends?”
spencer nodded, put his hands in his pockets and thought for a second. he wished there was a better place to do this, a better person to take over for him.
all you have to do is talk.
spencer is great at talking.
“did you know that you could be scrolling for seven weeks before you can reach the end of ‘how to ask a girl out’ results on google? i was scrolling for a long time but then my friends told me to just talk and be confident, but i’m only good at one of those thing. so i was trying to ask you out last night but then i- well i failed basically, it isn’t my strong suit,” he took a breath, “so basically i’m saying sorry for not asking you out and not driving you home.”
it was silent, even a customer stopped humming.
“and also your allergy medication isn’t strong enough for your symptoms.” he glanced down to a white and blue box by your hand. you looked down, seeing logan in the corner of your eyes, hand covering her face.
“spencer-“
“dude just ask her out.”
spencer’s face dropped, and he looked over the counter to find another woman sat down, a cringed out expression on her face. his nervousness increased after he realised this wasn’t as private a conversation as he thought. wiping his hand on his vest, he continue with a gulp,
“no i can’t. not here, um. i’ll see you on monday. and i promise i’ll uh- be better? i’ll try again, so. okay see you on monday.” he quickly took his groceries and walked off quite speedily. you watched him walk away and then once he was out of sight, you simply stared at the box of allergy medication on the counter.
logan groaned in the background and said something about growing balls, but it was tv silence for you.
you didn’t know how to go out with someone, your last relationship was in your first year of high school with a guy who thought baby’s came out of a woman’s bum. not that spencer meant he wanted a relationship, no it could just be a friend ‘going out’. totally not romantic.
you slump and stuff your face in your hands. you didn’t care if you hadn’t dated for however long, he didn’t seem to be a man-whore at all. you just cared about how you were actually going to say yes to a man you’ve only talked to inside of an off-brand convenience store on the night shift.
you muffle a scream before the same silent customer placed a carton of milk on the counter.
“$2.50.” you grumble.
you carried logan’s computer bag as she took out a box of strawberry pocky on the sidewalk. the store was locked, the air was crisp, the light was flickering. you didn’t say much until logan couldn’t stand it anymore.
“you know when you’re this silent it’s actually pretty nice, i like peaceful walks home.” you nodded, and continued your racing thoughts with your line of vision stuck on the concrete as you both walked the block to your apartments. she sighed, “but it’s odd. you love talking. a guy likes you and you go mute?”
“his name is spencer, he does something dangerous for a living, he likes old books and drinks a lot of coffee. he gets home late at night, looks skinny but can lift a box of flour above his head with ease. he’s insanely smart and reads poetry, and helped me with my stem cell report.”
you look over at logan who looks a little disgusted but mainly confused.
“he helped me lift that box of flour without me asking. i have no idea who william blake is. i have no idea how he managed to put poetry in a biology report, and i have no idea how he can admit he’s going to ask me out and then not ask me out. his favourite colour is purple, his favourite fruit is grapes but he buys apples because they’re cheaper. and his name is… spencer.”
logan stopped in her tracks, making you copy. you flung out of whatever trance you were stuck in and raised an eyebrow at logan, “what?”
“what? oh no i don’t know, maybe you’ve just never told me about a man you happen to know a lot about, and yet don’t know anything about. you sound insane- not in the ‘loony-bin way’, in the romcom way. it’s disgusting.”
you both continued to walk, climbing the stairs to the foyer of your building before she took back her bag and gave you the pocky, mumbling, “you need these more than me.”
the elevator ride was mostly silent, and that continued before you both unlocked your apartment doors right beside each other.
“you need to ask him out, if he doesn’t do it first.” she entered her apartment before you could speak, let alone think.
suddenly your apartment felt lonely.
so did spencer’s.
he was cross legged on his plush couch on a call with penelope garcia, she was squealing every second minute trying to create a plan for spencer to ask someone out.
“spence, you’re making this very hard. how am i supposed to be your coach if i only have half a team?”
“you can find someone’s address with half a fingerprint, i think you’ll be fine.” he takes a bite of his 2 minute bolognese.
“that takes the fun out of it. i can only give you tips if i know her personality.”
spencer sighed, and thought for a second, he could practically hear penelope’s growing smile knowing she had won.
“her names y/n.” garcia squealed. “she’s smart and pretty. and her favourite colour’s purple and she studies biology. she knows my groceries off my heart and she’s allergic to pollen. she works late at night at the convenience store two blocks away from my apartment building, and she likes old book stores. she’ll be introverted around an extroverted person, but extroverted around an introverted person. she can read my expressions faster than anyone else, she tries out different hairstyles when nobody’s in the store, and she’s funny.” spencer smiles to himself, “she’s pretty.”
“you mentioned that, lover boy.”
pt.4
taglist: @jeffswh0re @hypotheticallyspeakingwitch @trashmonstersara @wannabewolf @evysian @navs-bhat @mywellspringoflife @daphnesutton @smalls155 @amortencjja @anuncalledbridge @belsreid @redmurderbaby @tatilolz @criminalmindsandhouse @forensicuntology @nomajdetective @ilikw @screechingphantommaker
#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fluff#cm#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fluff#spencer reid series
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In Exchange
Sub!Bottom!FTM Sam Winchester x Dom!Top!Male Reader
☆ Word Count: 3,617 ☆
AFAB Language Used
blacked out every time i wrote this like jekyll and hyde 😭 /j
CW: Non-Con, Sexual Coercion, Drugging, Blowjob, Cum Swallowing, Creampie, Pregnancy Mention, Masturbation, Cunnilingus, Puppy Play (Collar, Puppy Sam), Nipple Sucking, Riding, Corruption
“Excuse me, are you [Name]?” Sam walks up to you as you're smoking outside a bar.
“What's it to you?”
“I’m Joseph Johnson. I'm a detective.” Sam shows you his badge just long enough for you to believe him. “I’d like to ask you some questions about the recent incident.”
“Then you’d better give up and ask someone else.”
Sam looks at you in dismay. “You're the only living witness, we won't be able to get anywhere without you!”
“I’m not sharing anything without something in return.”
He perks up. “I've got about 60 buc-”
“I'm not looking for money. I want you to get on your knees and give me a blowjob.”
He looks at you in shock. “Are you serious?”
“Completely. Make your choice, Sherlock.”
There is no choice. He needs this information in order to save the town. He has to do it. “Fine…Just don't make me swallow.”
You stub out your cigarette. “You're not in a position to make demands, sweetheart. You're gonna swallow it if you want me to talk.”
Chills run down his spine. You're so assertive, it's…..sexy. He almost slaps himself. He lets out a big sigh. “Okay.”
You smile. “Hold on.” You enter the bar and come out a few minutes later with a bottle of beer. It's already been opened. That makes Sam suspicious but in your defense, he doesn't have a bottle opener on him. Against his better judgment, he chugs the bottle.
He notices the chilling grin on your face but hopes it's not because you drugged him. You lead him to a secluded alleyway. “Kneel.” You unbuckle your belt.
“Here? Are you serious?”
“Didn't you hear me, pretty boy? Kneel.”
Sam frowns and gets down on his knees. He gulps upon seeing your hard cock. He’s never seen one in real life before, after all, he's never gone far enough for that.
“Open wide.” You tug on his hair. He looks at you with contempt but opens his mouth anyways. The feeling of your cock entering his mouth is completely foreign. It's way different than sucking on a popsicle or some other iced treat. It’s warm and pulsing. And it's thick, so thick his jaw hurts. “As I thought, you look much better with my cock stuffed in your mouth.”
Sam shivers. He can't believe that turned him on. His body suddenly begins to rise in temperature, as if he's come down with a fever. You don't seem to care about his reddening face as you slowly drag him back and forth on your cock. He stops worrying about it, even as he starts to feel more aroused than he should. He just closes his eyes and discreetly ruts against his hand as you do all the work for him. He feels so wet that his slick is probably bleeding through his underwear. He desperately needs to touch himself but he's sober enough to feel embarrassed about doing so. It's so hard for him to feel pleasure through his pants that he's started whimpering. You don't know why he's doing that but you're not complaining about the new sensation you're feeling.
“Shit- I’m already gonna come-” You moan. “Your mouth is amazing, sweetheart, you're better off selling it than being a detective.”
Sam moans as you come in his mouth. His mind is so hazy and high on whatever you drugged him with that he actually feels happy to swallow your seed. He’s completely out of his mind.
You pull him away from your cock and pry open his mouth with your thumb to make sure he's swallowed everything. “Good boy.”
He looks at you almost demurely.
“It’d be a shame to stop here, don't you think?” You run your fingers through his hair. The drug seems to have kicked in completely so you know he’ll agree.
“Mhm..”
“It’d be nice if I could fuck that sweet ass of yours...”
“Not there...” He shakes his head.
“Why not? I’d make you feel real good.”
“Isn't my pussy better?” Sam smiles, unbuckling his belt.
“It definitely is.” You smirk.
Sam shakily gets up on his feet and drops his pants and boxers to his ankles. He walks over to the wall and bends over, giving you a drunken smile. You look at his pussy and feel your cock immediately come back to life. He's so wet that his slick is on the inner corner of his thighs. You can't wait to dive into that.
You stick two of your fingers inside him, not caring for how that makes him feel, and explore his insides. He's soft, warm, and oh so fucking wet. Sam moans, too drugged to consider the fact that he's in public.
“Th- there!” His voice and legs are shaking. “Yes-yes-yes–”
“Already gonna come, darling?” You find his g-spot and immediately cause him to squirt. You watch in awe, painfully hard thanks to this mesmerizing display. You pull your fingers out and slowly inch your cock inside him. “Sorry, I just couldn't wait any longer. You don't mind, right, baby?”
Sam moans, eyes half lidded. “Mm- deeper~”
“The drug’s really changed you…or maybe it's just allowed your real personality to show?” You smirk, going deeper as he requested. “I might have to keep drugging you if it means I can fuck this sweet pussy of yours.”
He shivers, leaning further against the wall as you make him experience his pussy stretching to accommodate your girth for the first time. “Bi- big~” He bites his lip, absolutely blissed out.
“You like how big I am? Or how good your cunt feels stretching to fit me?”
“Ye- yes~ so good~” He answers both of your questions. “My pussy feels so good, [Name]~”
“Yeah? I’ll make it feel even better.” Once you bottom out you start fucking him at a rough pace. The warm and slippery feeling of his cunt is making you too aroused to control yourself. You cover Sam’s mouth with your hand, knowing he won't even try to keep quiet. Your hand quickly becomes drenched with his saliva, a constant vibration thanks to Sam moaning. You can still hear his moans, albeit muffled, but at a much better level that suits your location. “You're such a good boy, you know? Taking my cock so fucking well. If we were at my place, I’d be happy to hear you moan.”
Sam’s body reacts to being called a good boy, his cunt clenching around you once again.
“I wish I could have you, a cute puppy like you should have an owner. Although, I don't know if I have the strength to actually let you go.” You pull down the collar from the back of his shirt and bite him, making a mark that’s sure to last a while. You can tell just by hearing him and feeling the way his cunt reacts that he liked that. “How about you touch yourself for me, pup? I want you to feel extra good.”
Sam brings his hand down to his t-dick, gently stroking himself and accelerating the amount of time it’ll take him to have an orgasm.
“Look at you, following orders so well.”
He whimpers in response.
“You’d be better off belonging to me than some agency, don't you think?” You move your hand away from his mouth.
“Ye- yes- wanna be yours!” He moans, squirting again on your cock. In his current state of mind, he feels overjoyed at the idea of abandoning his dangerous “career” for a life full of pleasure and submission. He won't have to think or put his life on the line anymore. Right now, he doesn't have the ability to think rationally and being your dog is all he wants. “Tak- take me! I wanna be your puppy~!”
You bury your head in his shoulder, slowing down. “I’ll hold you to that. Gonna make sure you can't change your mind and leave me.” You come inside of him despite knowing he wouldn't want this if he was sober. At this point you don't care what he thinks, you just want him. Maybe the whiskey you had earlier is finally getting to you...
Sam wakes up on his motel bed, feeling something inside his underwear, a painful feeling in his neck, and a sharp headache. He closes his eyes and tries to recall what happened last night. He soon starts to remember everything, even after the drug kicked in. He should be angry but he isn't. He's horny. He sits up on the bed and looks around.
“Dean?” He calls out. No response. He leans back and brings his hand into his pants, sliding his index and middle finger down his slick cunt. He feels your cum and pushes it back inside him, fingering himself with your cum. He doesn't want to get pregnant but he can't help himself. Just doing this makes him so horny…He feels like a perv.
Sam leans back and moans, feeling extra sensitive. He remembers how you made him squirt for the first time and how it’d probably feel even more amazing if he could do it sober. He starts to think about all the compliments you gave him and how you wanted to make him yours. He knows he should be focusing on hunting, especially because of his powers, but he can't help but yearn for a safe life with you. He doesn't even really know you. He did a background check on you but he didn't look at anything that would’ve given him any information about your personality. He can't believe that a one night with you is making him feel like this. Making him want to relinquish his autonomy to a stranger.
He murmurs your name, absolutely enamored with you. Are you even human? You have to have some special power to make him so infatuated with you. Right?
Before he can reach his climax, the sound of the doorknob twisting stops him. Sam quickly takes out his hand and rubs it on his clothes. Dean opens up the door and immediately looks at Sam.
“Where the hell were you last night? And why are you in the same clothes?”
“I- I uh…got drunk.” He looks at him sheepishly.
“Why?!”
“[Name] didn't want to talk unless I won a drinking game…I won.”
Dean looks surprised. “That guy must be even more of a lightweight than you are.”
Sam laughs awkwardly.
“So what's the story?”
“I don't know–” Sam stops thanks to Dean’s expression. “Yet! I’ll call him today.”
“You got his number?”
Sam vaguely remembers you putting something in his pocket. He digs into his right pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. He opens it up. I’ll talk. I left you hangover medicine, the morning after pill, and a pregnancy test. Let me know the results when the time comes. [Your Number]. “Yeah. I got it.” He turns to the bedside table and sees a bag with the logo from the local pharmacy. His heart flutters from your consideration. Which is ironic, considering what you did to him.
“Good. Take a shower and eat something, then call him.” Dean grabs the remote, gets onto his bed, and turns on the tv.
At around 11, Sam called you and now you're sitting outside a café with “Joseph” and his partner, “Francis”.
“There's two of you.” You raise your eyebrow. “Looks like you're not Sherlock, but one of the hardy boys.” You chuckle.
Sam laughs awkwardly. “This is my partner–”
“Wait, let me guess, Frank?”
“Francis. My friends call me Frank.” He smiles, impressed that you got the reference.
“Joseph and Franics. Interesting coincidence.” You’re tempted to inquire further but you decide not to. You're not too excited to recount the story but you’d rather just get it over with.
“And that was it.” You lean back into the chair. You noticed Sam was staring at you the entire time but you ignored it, you don't want to bring anything up with Dean around.
“Thanks for telling us. We’ll get to the bottom of this.” Dean stands up and shakes your hand. “Alright, let's go.” He turns to Sam.
“I- I actually have something to do, go without me.”
“What? What the hell could be so important?”
Sam looks away and doesn't answer.
Dean sighs heavily. “Fine. But don't let me find out you're trying to meet some girl or something.” He shakes his head and walks over to his car.
“So, what’s more important than your investigation?” You tilt your head in interest.
“I remember what happened last night.”
“I sure hope so, that's the whole reason I’m here.”
“No, I remember that you drugged me.”
You’re a little surprised, that wasn't supposed to happen. You know he won't turn you in though. You’re sure of it. “Are ya gonna turn me in, Mr. Hardy?” You smile teasingly.
“Not if you do something for me in return. It's only fair, right?”
You give him an amused look. “Of course, puppy, it's only fair.”
Sam blushes at the name.
“So what do you want me to do?”
“Drive me to your place and you'll find out.”
“Alright, we'll have to make a quick stop though.” You grin and lead him to your car.
Sam enters your home, anxious for two reasons. One, because you went to a sex shop and told him what you bought is a secret. And two, because he's about to request something that nobody in their right mind would do after being taken advantage of in such a way.
He sits on your bed and watches you as you place the bag on your desk and reveal what you bought. A collar that closely resembles one for a dog, but clearly made to be worn by a human. Sam’s entire body heats up.
“Just a little something to remember me by.” You hand him the collar
He frowns slightly, he doesn't want to leave you. He doesn't know why he's so obsessed with you but he brushes away the thought and puts the collar on. He looks adorable. “Now you have to do my request.” He unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants. “I want you to eat me out.” He's been fantasizing about this in the shower. He can't leave this town without experiencing this at least once.
You lick your lips. “That's it? If that's what you want, I’ll be glad to do it.” You pull his pants and underwear off for him and kneel in between his legs. You slowly drag your tongue up his pussy, tasting him for the first time. You let out a soft noise of pleasure before wrapping your lips around his t-dick and slowly easing two your fingers into his cunt. Sam throws his head back and moans unabashedly as you suck him off, his body heating up. This is so much better than just fingering himself. Your mouth feels so good.
“Like that- yes~” Sam rolls his eyes back. It won't take long for him to come. “[Name]~!” He gasps when your fingers reach his g-spot. “Oh my God–” He falls back onto the bed, quickly climbing towards his orgasm. You add a third finger and continue to finger his wetness while sucking his cock more passionately. Sam can't even manage to get any words out, he feels too fucking good to even think about anything. He instinctively wraps his legs around your head and squirts, drenching you. He takes a few moments before letting go of you.
You pull away and lick your lips. “Now, how about a round two?”
Sam nods, removing his clothes. “I wanna ride you.”
“I’d love that.”
Sam hovers above your hard length, his left hand holding it in his place and his right on your shoulder. He lowers himself onto your cock, gasping when he feels you stretching him open. Despite his memory being mostly clear from that night, the pleasure he remembered wasn't enough to prepare him for this. “Fuck–!” He moans, continuing to lower himself down. Tears run down his cheeks thanks to the painful pleasure he's experiencing. “You're- so, so big-” He's breathless.
“You're adorable, puppy.” You hold his cheek in your hand. “I know you can handle it though, keep going.”
Sam moves further down until you're completely inside him. He looks at you, tears still streaming down.
“Good boy.” You kiss him. His eyes widen for a moment before closing his eyes and reciprocating the kiss. You briefly pull away to open your mouth and Sam is quick to catch on. You return to kissing him but now with your tongue. Sam considers himself a master at kissing, since it's the most he’s ever done. At least when it comes to receiving.
Sam finds himself grinding down on your cock, finding pleasure in the way you feel inside him.
You pull away from him and move down to his neck to bite and kiss it. You now move even further and wrap your lips around his nipple, happily sucking on it while your hand goes to massage his other breast. Sam whimpers and squeezes your cock happily. He could get used to this. Just being a dumb, slutty puppy for you to use sounds great to him. Sorry Dean and the greater good, Sam is giving up on being a hunter and choosing to become a simple toy.
You reluctantly leave his breasts and look at Sam with a smile. “Why don't you try riding me now?”
“Okay..” Sam places both his hands on your shoulders and slowly rises. He whimpers at the feeling. He never had the confidence to try using a dildo so he had no idea how intense this would feel. He quickly lowers himself, missing the feeling of your entire cock inside him. Even losing a few inches is upsetting for him.
“You don't want to do it anymore? Is it too hard for you, puppy?”
He looks away from you. “I want all of you inside me…”
“Aw, you can't even stand a few seconds? I promise you won't even feel it as long as you keep up a fast pace. It’ll feel much better than just having me inside you…although I do enjoy having you keep my cock warm.”
Sam tries riding you properly but he's still feeling weak and can't do it fast enough. He stops and looks at you.
“Let me help you.” You grab his waist and lift him up and down at a fast pace. Sam rolls his head back and moans in pleasure. “See? It feels good.”
“So- so good!” He cries. He feels so good that he barely even feels the painful slapping of his breasts against his chest. He can't even focus his sight, pain is nearly obsolete to him. He brings his hand down to his dick, stroking it as best he can. You can tell he's about to come.
“Come on, puppy, come for me.” You smirk. It doesn't take much longer after that for Sam to come. He squirts, making a mess on your body. “Good boy. Now it's my turn.”
Sam gasps as his body is suddenly pushed onto the bed, your hands squeezing his wrists tightly. “Just a little more, I know you can take it.” You roughly thrust into his cunt, indulging in the lovely wet warmth of his pussy. Sam doesn't mind, on the contrary, he’s happy to be used just to get you off. “You're so obedient, sweetheart, so perfect.” You start to act more like a dog than Sam, your horniness compelling you to rut into him like a wild beast. He can barely handle it thanks to the previous activities but he's fighting to stay awake. Seeing you in this state is much too arousing to miss.
“Tha- thank you~” He smiles stupidly.
Just hearing him say that with an expression like that makes you come. You briefly grip his wrists harder then loosen it as you come down from your high. “I don't want to let you go..”
“Me neither…I like being your puppy.” His eyelids start to feel heavy. “Wanna keep getting used…” He falls asleep. You kiss his forehead and pull out. You've never given an unconscious person a bath but it shouldn't be too hard.
Dean pounds angrily on your front door, a gun in his pocket ready to shoot you if necessary. Thanks to an eyewitness report from the café employee, he found out where Sam went. He doesn't know what's going on but he's furious. He hasn't answered his calls and he hasn't seen him since yesterday.
You open the door. “Ah! Francis. Here to pick up your partner?” You pause.
“What the fuck did you do to my brother?”
“Nothing he didn't like.” You reply plainly. “He's perfectly fine and drinking some tea. I’ll show you.”
Dean looks at Sam in shock. He's just wearing a big shirt and probably underwear. “Sam! What's going on?”
“I’m sorry, but I want to stay here. I love [Name] and I don't want to leave him.”
“WHAT?!” He's completely taken aback.
“You heard him. You’ll have to head back on your own. I’ll get his stuff for him.”
Dean doesn't trust you at all. He's going to be doing a lot of research on whatever monster you might be. He's convinced you're not human. “I’m staying longer. You probably did something to him…I don't trust you.”
“That's fine.” You smile. You have something else to worry about. “So…who's Sam?”
Sam and Dean both look at each other. Looks like they're going to have to reveal the truth, at least partially...
#wicks🕯works#top male reader#male reader#sam winchester x male reader#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester smut#supernatural x male reader#supernatural x reader#supernatural smut#dom male reader#tw noncon#ftm character#🕯️supernatural
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Okay all my thoughts because some people have been saying that not supporting this change is not supporting artist and creators and as an artist fuck that.
1. Audiences owe you nothing. You have to convince them to engage with your creation not the other way around. This is something both the nonprofit theatre I work with recognizes and huge companies realize. It's just part of life. There are so many talented people in the world making amazing art, videos, music, writings, and on and on, and there's only so much time in the day. I'm not saying you shouldn't know your worth, just that being flippant about how little you care about those who can't pay isn't a good move. On that note...
2. PR is everything. If you haven't made a visible effort to push patreon, channel memberships or other avenues of making money, don't be suprised that your creation that was previously accessible to those without extra cash and to those who can't support foreign subscriptions due either to conversions or because it simply doesn't work, being made private isn't popular. There's a big leap from "We want to have more artistic control" to "We can't afford to make our content accessible to most of our audience," and people are smart enough to see this. You either have to make budget cuts or give into sponsors. This isn't unique to Watcher, it's part of literally every production from broadway, to Hollywood, to YouTube. Unless you can fund it yourself or get viewers to pay(which given how many are already strapped for cash...) that's life.
Not to mention they simply do not have enough followers to make the switch to a paid only site(dropping the first epsiode only on YouTube isn't going to draw people in, they're just going to say "oh why start if I'm not going to see the rest" and not watch) especially not one that is buggy and a security risk. Even if the switch had been supported its not going to end well. The only reason services like nebula and dropout work is because of the large amount of series and creators and the fact those creators still are partly on YouTube so new people are drawn in.
3. As for the price, 6 dollars a month is a not a good starting price for only their content and that's as someone who pays for nebula. I'd be paying the same amount for a fraction of the access to others work. Actually it'd be twice as much. And before someone says "it's only a coffee-" that's for you. Not everyone has your lifestyle. And with every other patreon and subscription service that says the same thing, it all adds up and I simply don't think 60 dollars for 48 videos a year on a subscription basis where you don't get to keep the videos if your situation changes, some of which don't appeal to every viewer is a good move. If you were able to buy physical copies of your favorite series they've made that'd be different, but that's not what this is.
4. I do believe that the employees deserve a livable wage. I also did not hire them. It is not on the viewers that they hired more people than they could afford to. They can charge that much if they want to to try and balance this out. They also shouldn't be suprised if not many can or will sign up. They also don't have to be based in L.A. L.A has ridiculous costs associated with it, and quite honestly it doesn't really add much to the content. I'm not saying they need to move to the middle of nowhere Kansas. Simply that living and basing your studio in a super expensive city and then being suprised money is tight is just weird.
5. Something that occurs to me is that they might get more views if their playlists were better set up. Only some series are given playlists. It'd be easier to find all of the series and binge them if they didn't just show off their more popular shows. Honestly the only draw the streaming site has to me is that the series are actually labeled well.
Do I think the weird ass energy towards Steven is necessary? No. He's not the only one at the company and they're all adults. I actually liked grocery run and homemade, and like to see them back. The parascoial attachment to Ryan and Shane is annoying in people's criticisms, but that doesn't make them completely wrong. If you're going to brand yourself as the anti capalist underdogs you can't get away with being dismissive of your poorer fans. The dissonance is what is causing this backlash and makes you look like hypocrites. I definitely think Steven is turning into the fall guy which is fucked up, his statement and the fact dish granted is one of those shows that make people uncomfortable about wealth flexs doesn't help matters.
#watcher#they really need a CEO who has business experience first and foremost or at the very least a consultant they actually listen to#they also should put more focus on other personalities and actual give them a chance to stick. none of them got famous or a fanbase in a day#give some of the others time to grab attention
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Yandere!Five/Reader (platonic/headcanons)
the story contains: spoilers for season 4 (+ some changes in plot), yandere!five(-s), strictly platonic, five here is in his 20s (physically) and in his late 60s (mentally), overprotective old man five, soft yan!Five, OOC cuz it's yanderes 🤷
I really like to imagine Five being overprotective over someone young and still full of joy. You can be either a kid of one of his siblings, or just a random child he found during his time in The Commission. It wouldn't be that far away from reality, The Handler took little Lila and trained her to do the dirty job, no one would be surprised if that creepy woman ends up kidnapping another child born on October 1st for herself.
Either way, Five is a good familial figure. We all saw how he acts towards little Grace, making small cheering comments from time to time to his niece when she is enjoying her birthday party. I expect him to be much softer if it's someone who is always close to him and constantly tags along with Five. Let's say, he knows you enough to let you go with him at the end of Season 3, since all of his siblings left, he basically has no other choice but to be the only one who has to protect you.
At first, he might get a little irritated because of it. It's not because he finds you annoying or hates being around kids. The problem is, he is not a social person himself. He never had a proper childhood because he spent 45 years stuck in the apocalypse. Then his time in The Commission, stuck with people either invading his personal space, or always staring at him due to him being him. The man got no time for a good rest. He also got no experience in how he should take care of a kid.
Despite a good bag of problems on his back, like the fact that he is still considered a child himself because of his appearance, no job, no money, no place to stay, he somehow gets everything you need. It would probably cost him a lot of pride to sacrifice, people constantly saying «Aww, are you looking after your little sibling at such age? Where are your parents?» makes him want to say something snarky, but he would bite his tongue, since he doesn't want people to ask more questions. He is used to doing everything on his own, dealing with every trouble by no one but himself because it's how he got things done for ages. Not so surprising, Five is pretty good at it.
When he gets his job as a CIA agent, he does not get so much time to be with you, he's more busy even though he is «the one of the professional young agents», trying to investigate more and more. But I believe that he would absolutely think about you during his work, he would go nonchalantly in his mind «Should I buy them the cereal with that dumb colourful toy inside? No, that stuff has too much sugar for someone their age—», which is pretty ironic since Five has a little sweet tooth himself, knowing his famous toasts with peanut butter and marshmallows. He doesn't give you a chance to eat that stuff too much anyways, because he believes « You'll get to eat those when you grow older», while you probably pout and tug on his clothes, trying to make him share with you this tasty sweet thing with tons of deadly sugar! He will give up after a good 15 minutes of you jumping around, being noisy and whiney, so he would roll his eyes and give you like less than 1/3 of the toast, saying 'here is your half, happy now?🙄'. At least he managed to keep you quiet for some time, while he can focus on some little time of his rest.
Five wants you to be independent just like him. Mainly because he doesn't want to think about potential scenarios where you are without him, all defenseless and have no idea what to do. He will teach you everything, how to protect yourself, how to use the oven, who you should call immediately if something happens (he will probably write a phone number with a marker on your wrist, since kids tend to be forgetful and easily distracted and he does NOT take such a risk).
But Five would never push or press on you, he doesn't want to make another child assassin with childhood trauma, think of it as a grandfather taking you to the lake to teach you how to fish. He is constantly near your side, guiding gently but firmly, to you it's mostly about having fun but also learning new things. Five will praise you, give you some advice and will pet your head if you do something right. I do believe he is overprotective, that he doesn't want to even let you near anything dangerous, but he's also paranoid that if another apocalypse comes back, you should be able to survive.
When Five gets his powers back and reunites with his siblings, you will always be with him. Of course I can imagine him having a nanny to call so you would be away from all his family stuff and there is someone whom he can trust enough, but...he might trust himself more than anyone else (but also it's more interesting for the story than you being somewhere away from all the fun lol). When weird things start to happen, Five is looking for anyone even slightly suspicious. Why is this Elf Guy looking at him? Is that guy looking at YOU ? Stop looking at his kid!
Thankfully for him, you weren't around when Lila and Five stuck in that subway. But instead of spending years here, giving up on the idea of coming back home, that would never happen. Because come on, it's Five. He would never give up on coming back to his family and you, someone he also considers as a part of his family. Maybe they're not ideal, they might hate each other, sometimes even annoy him, but he would never allow himself at least a single minute of proper rest since he believes that his only priority is to come back to people he cares about.
The moment he finds the notes on how to come back, he will do it in an instant. When he sees his family safe - he is happy, even though he would hide his inner feelings. You're a little confused when he just hugs you tightly to his chest all of the sudden, sighing in relief the moment he realizes you're with him. Still the same little you, not a single change in your appearance. « Something happened?» you ask softly, carefully placing your arms around him. for some reason, it feels weird. he was never a person who could hug you just because he feels like it. the only time he might give you that it's only if you initiate it, needing comfort because you were afraid of storm or just woke up from the nightmare. « No, no, just stay like that for a little bit,» Five whispers, trying to calm his racing heart. he's thankful that this body at least can take all the stress he constantly experiences in his life. you are probably surprised and confused but he doesn't care about it now. he just came back to you after years of being apart. at least for him it was, for you — a few hours. Despite how unusual it makes you feel, you don't question it, you will give him all the comfort he deserves after whatever he went through.
A good happy ending we deserve would probably be Five (accidentally) taking you to this buffet full of his other versions. You're probably so shy and awkward to see all of them, so you stick closer to him, holding his hand. Five is a little more protective too, he doesn't trust his other selves as we know. I can imagine a little you being so scared to even make a single move, because the moment you look away, you might get lost! Is that your Five? Or is it the one who's near the other table? Why is that Five drunk? When did he find the apron?? But all of them are very nice to you. Five who works as a waiter would gladly help you to find your guardian and maybe he'll spoil you with food they serve here— Your Five is definitely not happy with how much attention you gain from.. other versions of him, but he knows that they all care the same of you.
#yandere x reader#yandere tua#five hargreaves x reader#tua x reader#yandere five hargreeves#yandere five hargreeves x reader#five hargreeves#yandere imagines#yandere number five#number five x reader#number five#platonic yandere
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Astrology Notes:
Mercury Edition
This is what my astrology notes look like lol
-People who have a Mercury-Uranus aspect can indicate having lots of intelligence. These are the “mad geniuses” of our world. These native may have lots of ideas on how to help humanity as a whole. You might be in a lot of controversies over your words or be misunderstood. On the flip side of this aspect, this can indicate someone who has a strong knowledge of it all personality and don’t want to hear others options. May get offended easy and loves to argue.
-Mercury/Moon aspect natives need to control their emotions before they speak especially if you have it in a harsher aspect like a square or opposition. You may get flustered or your feelings may get hurt easily. These natives are sensitive to words, they may act like they don’t care but it definitely hurt their heart. On the flip side, they may be mostly the quiet type of people. Once they open up, it’s like a whole different person lol. They also have a strong intuition, they understand people more than they let on. They also have a soft spot for babies and young kids.
-Mercury Capricorn/10h natives has a lot of wisdom within them. They start learning harsh lessons during there early years. Usually by the time they reach their first Saturn return, they may sound like a retired 60 year old giving out advice due what they’ve endured 😅 Capricorn rules over time, so as they get older, the more introspection they have on the word. These are the perfect natives to receive advice from because of the lived experience. On the flip side, if these natives use their words or actions to hurt others, it will come back. Capricorn is one of the “power” placements , hence why it rules the 10h(highest point our chart) so moral of the story, use your words for good. Make stretching your daily routine, your cap Mercury will one day thank you. Also, take care of your teeth, even if you can’t afford to go the dentist , brush them and floss.
-Mercury/Jupiter aspect natives have a thirst for knowledge and seeking the truth. They don’t believe in the theory “not everything has an answer.” Because to them it does, you’re just too stupid to them to find it but they will😅don’t lie, y’all know it’s true! These natives will make excellent historians, professors, gurus, researchers, writers. They are pretty open about their beliefs and don’t mind debating you about them.
-Mercury Pisces/12h natives occasionally experience brain fog😅 they have the ideas and creativity but they’re time when their brain is filled with smoke😭 sometimes they just be talking and we don’t know what their talking about but they have beautiful voices so we let it slide lol. Speaking of voices, they are incredibly singers, like you just get lost or hypnotized by their words. Listening to frequency music or Lo-fi songs will help soothe y’all mind. Take care of feet, clip your big toe nail and put some lotion on them. Don’t be out here with goblin feet😭
-Mercury Sagittarius/9h natives loves foreign cultures and always traveling some damn where chile😅 these natives are either anti-religious or very religious. They may also just like studying religion as an interest without really holding those beliefs themselves. May have lots of father figures growing up. May have their own library of books and publications they love to keep. These natives, like Capricorn are also good at giving advice because they’re constantly researching or reading to find answers. Take care of y’all legs by stretching, running, even if you’re disabled, if you can, physical therapy or someone you trust can stretch your legs for you. I know everyone circumstances is different and that’s ok! Do what you can with what you got!
-Chiron Gemini /3h words can be so healing but triggering at the same time. They tell it like it is and it can sting but at the same, their advice can help the collective. They may have a wound with a sibling(s) . They could’ve been bullied in elementary school. These people at their best, turn their pain into healing and help others. They may understand the misunderstood people in our world. At worst, they use their pain to hurt others , they may have started out doing that but then started learn and heal. It really depends on the person because we all have free will.
-Chiron is said to associated with Virgo since it’s a healer astroid. It’s also associated with Sagittarius because he’s a teacher and a centaur which are ruled by Jupiter.
-Mercury/Venus natives have such beautiful voices and has a way with words😍these are the true charmers, they way that they can make you fall in love with them with just their voice and words. If they decided to write a book, it would get lots of attention especially if they write romance and poetry.
-Mercury Aries’s /1h natives loves cussing and has a potty mouth on them for sure 😅y’all put a sailor to shame. They may come off as brash with their words even though they mean well. You just have to listen to the words and not the tone sometimes😅. I also notice these natives tend to get lots of headaches or migraines with this placement.
I’ll stop here but I might make a part 2 to this. Let me know what Mercury placements or aspect you want me to make note on. I’m also open for paid readings if you’re interested!
#astrology#astrology community#knowledge#astro observations#advanced astrology#astrology notes#astrology notes by kakiastro#mercury astrology#mercury astrology notes#birth chart#kakiastro#tropical astrology
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Care Now and Forever
Requested Here!
Pairing: David 'Deacon' Kay x fem!reader
Summary: You struggle with iron deficiency on your period and learn during a rough day that Deacon will care for you no matter what.
Warnings: depictions of menstruation and iron deficiency/anemia, fluff and comfort
Word Count: 1.7k+ words
Picture from Pinterest (when I say puppy dog eyes this is what I mean)
Masterlist Directory | Deacon Kay Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List
Deacon’s arm is across your waist when you wake up. Because of that and the lack of sunlight in the room, you realize something must be wrong. A dull ache spreads across your lower abdomen before sharp pain shoots across your back as summoned by your internal wondering. It’s easy to deduce even before you stand up and feel the unmistakable sensation of blood that your period has arrived, and based on the early morning call, it will undoubtedly be packing a punch this month.
You leave Deacon alone in bed to walk to the bathroom. The pain is manageable, and you’re grateful as you change and prepare yourself for the rest of the day. Being with Deacon, you’re used to him taking care of you, and he has a sort of sixth sense about all things related to you. Since he’s still asleep, however, you hope to get a few more hours yourself and save him some of the time he’d spend doting over you and making sure you have everything you need. Not because you don’t want his help but because he has enough going on without having to deal with the early arrival of your monthly visitor.
Eventually, you manage to fall back asleep before Deacon wakes. Before he leaves, he leans over you and kisses your forehead. Deacon hesitates as he stands, feeling as if he’s forgetting to do something. You stir in your sleep, and Deacon smiles before he brushes his thumb over your temple and whispers that he loves you.
When you wake the second time, part of you regrets not telling Deacon. He’s dealt with your periods before, and he’s as close to perfection as you think exists during your least favorite week of the month. More than that, he knows how to treat your iron deficiency. As you sit still and wait for the light bout of dizziness to pass, you remember that Deacon specifically asked you to tell him when you’re bleeding so he can keep an eye on you and help manage or supplement your iron. He’ll be home before dinner, so you encourage yourself to manage without him for a few hours.
You realize with a groan that you need to change from your overnight pad. As if the iron-related lightheadedness wasn’t enough, now you have to look at blood. Steeling your resolve, you push out of bed and rush to the bathroom to take care of everything as quickly as possible. Then, you’ll go to the kitchen to get food and restore your depleted iron.
One step at a time, you remind yourself.
“Nineteen,” Street blurts out.
“What?” Hondo inquires, looking up from the tablet in his hand.
Street shrugs and explains, “I figured someone was thinking it.”
“Why would we be thinking nineteen?” Tan asks.
“Because we’re bored,” Luca answers for Street.
Deacon checks his phone for the fifth time in the last thirty minutes, and the rest of his team turns to look at him.
“Have somewhere to be?” Hondo guesses.
“No, not that I know of,” Deacon replies. “Just feel like something’s off.”
“There is,” Hicks says as he enters the quiet situation room. “Los Angeles has taken a break from crime. I just sent 60 Squad home, wanted to offer the same to you.”
Street stands before anyone else says anything, and Hicks raises a hand to instruct him to wait.
“You’d be on call, but there’s no reason to have all three teams waiting around HQ,” Hicks adds.
“Thanks, Commander,” Hondo says. “I know Deac needs to get home, but I can stick around until end of shift.”
“Good. Street, you can go now.”
Street rushes out of the room, and Deacon shakes his head as he pulls his phone from his pocket. His screen is free of messages or missed calls from you, but he can’t deny that he needs to be with you for some unknown reason.
“Let me know that everything’s okay, Deac,” Hondo requests. “Call if you need anything.”
“Will do,” Deacon assures.
Deacon hesitates by the door until Hondo lovingly demands, “Get out of here!”
After you eat lunch, you make another trip to the bathroom. Standing at the sink, however, you suddenly feel as if you may pass out at any moment. Because of the intense sensation of growing lightheaded, you carefully sink to your knees before lying down against the cool tile of the bathroom floor. Taking deep breaths, you attempt to regain the clarity you had before standing to wash your hands. Your arms grow heavy and weak, and you realize that even if you wanted to, or worse, had to get up right now, you probably couldn’t do it before passing out. So, you focus your eyes on the unmoving baseboard and control your breaths. It won’t replenish your iron stores, but it’s better than succumbing to the woozy, dizzy feelings.
“Sweetheart?”
You narrow your eyes as you hear Deacon’s voice again. Unable or unwilling – you’re unsure which – to raise your voice in response, you simply wait to see if he’s really home or if you’re imagining his presence.
“Whoa, what’s going on?” Deacon asks as he steps over your legs to enter the bathroom.
“Why are you home?” you ask.
“Shh,” Deacon encourages gently, brushing his palm along your hairline as he realizes precisely why you're on the floor. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were sleeping.”
The corner of Deacon’s lips quirks up as he stands. He exits the bathroom before you hear glasses clinking in the kitchen. You sigh as he returns with a glass of water and a small tray with several snacks, an iron supplement, and a bottle of multivitamins.
“How bad is it?” Deacon inquires as he slips his arm under your head.
“I’m lightheaded and dizzy. Thought I was going to pass out when I stood up.”
“From seeing the blood or just standing?”
“Just standing, I think.”
Deacon nods and counts down before he helps you sit up, slow and gentle in his movements. Once your back is against the tub and you’re secure in your upright position, Deacon rips open the iron supplement package and passes you the water.
“Are you okay?”
You nod as you offer your cupped hand and accept the brown tablet. After you swallow it and take another sip of water, you answer, “I am. Sorry for worrying you.”
Deacon nods, relieved, and leans forward in his squatted position to kiss you. As he pulls away, he gestures to your water and watches you diligently as you finish it in small drinks, just like he always tells you to.
“Let’s get you back to bed,” Deacon decides once you’re finished. “Are you done in here?”
You know that Deacon would do anything and everything you could possibly need. So, you take a moment to note how you feel or if you need to change, wash up, or anything else. “Yeah, I’m done,” you answer honestly.
Deacon smiles as he sets your glass on the vanity counter before slipping one arm around your back and hooking the other beneath your knees.
“Deacon,” you begin. “I can walk.”
“And I can carry.”
You smile and rest your head against his shoulder as he carries you out of the bathroom and sets you carefully on the bed. Deacon straightens the pillows behind you and returns to the bathroom to get the tray with the snacks and multivitamins.
“Why are you home early?” you ask as he sets the tray beside you.
“Quiet day,” he explains, turning away from you to change into more comfortable clothes. “50 Squad is covering HQ and we’re on call if they need assistance.”
You pick up your favorite iron-rich snack – which Deacon keeps stocked to avoid issues like this – as you wait for him to return to your side. When he sits beside you, dressed in sweatpants and a Wellesley Raiders shirt, you don’t hesitate to lean against his side. Deacon wraps his arm around your shoulders, and you lay your head against his chest. He takes the snack from your hand and is about to tear the package open when you slump, beginning to fall toward his lap.
Dropping the package instinctively, Deacon wraps his arms around you to keep your head from falling too quickly and hurting your neck. He holds you tightly against his chest as he carefully moves one hand to get his phone off the nightstand. After adjusting you into a more comfortable position against him, Deacon raises his phone to his ear.
“Hey, Hondo,” he greets. “Did you mean it when you said to call for anything?”
You blink your eyes open slowly, trying to remember what happened. Deacon’s arm tightens around your shoulder, and you notice two bags are sitting on the bed that weren’t there before you…
“I passed out,” you realize.
“You did. How are you feeling now?” Deacon responds.
“Um, a little better. Still not great.”
“That’s because you need more iron. There’s water, strawberries, and everything else I’ve ever seen you eat that has iron in the bags.”
“Where’d they come from?” you ask as you pull one closer.
“Hondo delivered them, just for you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” Deacon interrupts. “It’s not your fault. Yes, there are things we can do to keep it from happening again, but there’s nothing to apologize for. I’m just sorry it happened, sweetheart.”
“Thanks for catching me.”
“Any time,” Deacon answers with a smile. “Now please eat. And Hondo said that Nichelle can help if you want.”
“Why do I need someone else when I have you?”
Deacon smiles and kisses your cheek before he answers, “Maybe because she has some idea of what it’s like.”
You hum as you open a container of fresh strawberries and point out, “She’s not as handsome as you, though.”
“I’ll be here every month,” Deacon promises, “whether it’s like this or not. But when it is, please just wake me up and tell me.”
“I will. I love you, Deacon.”
“I love you.” You turn your face and kiss Deacon deeply out of gratitude and love but laugh against him when he begs, “Now will you please eat something?”
Part 2 >>
#david deacon kay x reader#david kay x reader#deacon kay x reader#david deacon kay#deacon kay fluff#deacon kay#fem!reader#requests#hanna writes✯#swat cbs#swat x reader
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Rock bottom (But you pulled me up) (Ingrid Engen x Reader)
I'm trying to work on my requests and WIP, but inspiration is lacking so I thought I'd try something new. This is my first time writing for someone out of the uswnt and in this style so please let me know what you think.
Warnings: Mentions of depression, anxiety, brief emotional abuse. Slightly suggestive at the end. Anything I've missed let me know.
Words: 2.8K
You could tell Ingrid was hurt, it was written all over her face. She had made you a lovely dinner and just wanted to have a movie night after not spending much time together. Yet here you were making an excuse to leave once again, you felt like a horrible girlfriend. Ingrid had taken the time to do something nice for you, but you couldn't get out of your head enough to enjoy it. Before you had the chance to get up, Ingrid uttered those three words that sent dread coursing through you. "We need to talk."
You swallowed hard before speaking, "About what?"
"You barely spend anytime with me anymore. You never message me first, we only do stuff because I organise it. I don't feel like you want me anymore. You're slipping away. Are you trying to get me to break up with you because this hurts so much more than just doing it yourself."
"No! Ingrid-" Tears stung your eyes as you tried desperately to keep it together. Afraid that if she saw how broken you were she would just leave. Things had been difficult for you lately, you were depressed, anxious and stressed. You felt so close to rock bottom, as a result you had been pulling away from Ingrid. The last thing you wanted was Ingrid to leave you, but you also didn't want to be a burden to her or scare her away with your emotions.
"Then what is it? Did I do something wrong?"
You could practically see the hope disappearing from Ingrid's eyes the longer you didn't answer, leaving hurt in its place. "I feel like when I see you, I need to be able to give you 100% of myself, of my energy and time. I can't do that right now and it makes me feel guilty. Like I'm a horrible girlfriend, that you deserve better than what I'm giving you."
Ingrid took your hand, everything in you fighting the urge to lean into her touch, to fall into the comfort you knew was waiting. If only you could bring yourself to accept it. The voices of your parents and ex-girlfriend hung in the back of your mind stopped you though. The voices that told you you were a burden to the people around you, that everyone had bigger problems to worry about and didn't care about you. The voices that told you Ingrid deserved better than you and your problems.
"Elskling, relationships don't have to be equal all the time. There's times where it'll be 50/50, but there's times where you give 90% and I'll give 10% or the other way round, sometimes it'll be 70/30 or 60/40. You get my point. What's going on? You haven't been yourself lately and it's really worrying me. Talk to me please."
You sighed pulling away from Ingrid to cross your legs under yourself, grabbing a cushion to hold. There was a part of you that thought being single would be easier, that there was less risk of hurting Ingrid that way. At the same time you knew it was those stupid little voices in the back of your mind that kept pushing that thought. You loved Ingrid more than anything in this world and deep down you knew she loved you just as much. You didn't want to let everyone else win, you didn't want to let your mind win for once in your life.
Talking about feelings was incredibly hard, it wasn't something you could do while being comforted by Ingrid or anyone really. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately, it's not fair to you and I know that. I-I'll try to explain it all, bu-but I need you to be patient with me. Just let me speak and not touch me, I can't do this if you do."
"Anything you need. I just need you to know that whatever you tell me, I won't ever judge you. I love you Y/n, I love you so much."
"I love you Ingrid. I'm sorry if I ever made you doubt that. Okay, so I um I think I need to start with why I have such a hard time letting people in, especially those I love. My family, well to put it bluntly they're assholes. They were constantly putting down everything about my sister and I, nothing we ever did was good enough. Any problems we went through were nothing to them, they always told us that people had bigger problems, that they had bigger problems and we were just adding more stress to their lives if we talked to them about anything remotely not positive. Tha-thats the short version anyway. My uh my ex was pretty similar, she would tell me that she had better things to do then deal with my trauma or depression. If I was unhappy she would turn it around, say that she wasn't enough to make me happy. Even before her, I majorly struggled with my feelings and opening up to people. Fear mostly, that's why I um haven't told you anything. Fear that I'll be too much for you and that you'll leave me."
Tears threatened to fall, but pushing them back you continued talking. "I'm really struggling right now Ingrid. My depression is the worst it's been in years. The anxiety just sits there constantly under the surface making it feel impossible to breathe. Constant doubt about if I've made the right decisions, if I'm good enough at football, if I'm good enough for you, there are so many more things I could list. Sometimes I feel like everyone would be better off if I just packed up and left. I'm so sick of feeling like this, but I don't know how to get it to stop. This is probably one of the scariest things I've ever done, but I've had already almost lost you Ingrid. I can't let them win by actually losing you. I love you so fucking much, I can't lose you Ingrid, I can't."
Tears were near pouring out of you both as Ingrid sat there for a second. When you didn't speak she must have decided you were finished talking because the next second arms wrapped around you so tightly and you completely broke. Ingrid held you tight until the sobs turned to sniffles then you feel silent. Ingrid's hold never completely let go, it was like a life line at this point.
"I love you Y/n. I loved you before and I still love you just as much now. I'm not going anywhere. Nothing your parents or ex said is true. I always want to know how and what you're feeling, I will always be here for you. No matter what your mind tells you, you are never too much for me or for the team or anyone who truly loves you. Our lives are so much better with you here so please don't even think about leaving because we will miss you. I will be here every step of the way while you figure things out, I will help you get the help you need. If you need space, I'll give you that, but if you need me here then I will always be here. I know you feel like you need to be giving me all of yourself, all of your energy, but you don't. Even if you can just give me 1% until you get over this bump in the road then that's enough for me. You are enough for me Y/n."
"I think there will be times when I need to be alone, but most of the time I just really want to be with you. I need to work on accepting that I deserve your love and comfort so I actually seek it out when I need it or want it. Some reassurance every now and then will help I think. Can we talk about the next steps tomorrow? I just want you to hold me right now."
"I will give you all the reassurance you need and more. Have you eaten today?" Ingrid asked, but the look in her eyes told you she knew the answer so you just shook your head. "Okay, I'm going to order some food while we cuddle here then we can go to bed."
True to her word, Ingrid held you tightly while you lay on the couch, staying close to your side during dinner and as you got ready for bed. "Thank you, for everything you've done, for being here, for loving me."
Ingrid kissed you softly, before pulling away and leaving soft kisses over your face, "Always."
Lying in bed later that night, head resting against Ingrid's chest, you decided to admit the one thing that kept swirling around your mind, "I think I need to take a break from football. Not the training, I think that helps me, but games. The pressure that comes from each game feels like weight being added. Makes me feel like I'm being dragged further down into this hole."
"Okay, if that's what you feel you need then we can talk to the coaches or Ale and she can sort it out. I know the thought of telling anyone else what is going on is scary, but Ale or anyone else on the team aren't going to judge you or think any less of you because of it."
"I think maybe we can talk to Alexia, not tell her everything, but the jist of it."
"I'll be by your side when you're ready." ---
It had been a few weeks since the talk with Ingrid and since you made the decision to stop playing in games for a while. The only person who knew why was Alexia, it was clear that everyone else was worried, but until now you hadn't felt ready to tell them and thankfully they didn't push.
There was still a long way to go, but things had been slowly getting better over the last few weeks. You had started seeing the team therapist multiple times a week and had restarted medication for the time being at least. Everything was starting to become clearer, you weren't as anxious all the time, you were becoming more willing to talk to Ingrid, to actually spend time with her without worrying about not being enough, and smiles and laughs were becoming more genuine when they did happened.
The team had been amazing despite not knowing what was going on, they were as supportive and loving as ever. So you decided it was time to let them in a little bit. You squeezed Ingrid's hand, getting her attention as you spoke quietly, "Can you get their attention please? I know they're worried about me and I think I'm ready to tell them."
"Hey! Can we have your attention for a minute."
Once everyone's attention was on you, the anxiousness started to creep in, but with Ingrid's hand still firmly holding yours, you took a deep breath and spoke, "I know you've all be wondering why I've effectively benched my self the last couple of weeks and I want to be honest about it. I've uh I've been um struggling a lot mentally at the moment and I decided I needed a break. The pressure was too much, I couldn't handle it on top of everything else. So uh yeah, I don't want you guys to keep worrying about me."
It was quiet for a few seconds before many arms wrapped themselves around you, mumbled we love you's and we're proud of you's were heard as you sunk into the arms of your teammates. Surprisingly, Mapi was the first to pull away, cupping your cheeks as she spoke uncharacteristically softly, "You keep doing what you're doing and come back to us when you're ready. You always have is in your corner Y/n. We are so proud of you and we love you. If there's anything you ever need you can come to us okay?"
"Thank you Mapi. Thanks all of you." --- A few months had passed and you were finally feeling like yourself again. There were still hard days, you were pretty sure there always would be, but you were genuinely happy again most of the time. You found yourself more willing to open up to not just Ingrid, but some of the other girls you were closest to. It was safe to say your life was pretty well back on track, there was just one thing left to do and that was get back to football. You hadn't told anyone of your plans to start playing games again, you had just been put in the line up as a sub, but after conversations with the coaching staff you knew you were likely to come in at half time.
When the line up came out, Alexia was the first to notice and speak up effectively getting everyone else's attention, "Y/n?"
"Yes Ale?"
"Is there anything you want to tell us?"
Ingrid looked at you confused as you shrugged trying to be as innocent as possible while knowing exactly what she was talking about. "Oh really? Well how about the small fact that your name is on the substitute list again?"
"Oh yeah. That is a thing I guess."
Smiles grew on everyone's faces as it clicked what was happening. Ingrid practically jumped on you repeating over and over how proud she was, kisses placed over your faces. The team joined not long after, everyone cheered and congratulated you.
"Okay okay, you can let go of me now. Yes I finally feel ready to come back."
Once everyone had let you go, Alexia pulled you up into a hug. Since she found out about your struggles, Alexia had been amazing. She was always subtly checking in whether you were at training or not, she would pull you away when everything got too overwhelming and Ingrid was busy, making some excuse so know one else would know the truth. Alexia was always just there in a way that was subtle and comforting. "Well we're so so glad you're back. I'm so proud of you Y/n."
"Thank you Ale, for everything."
As soon as your foot hit the pitch, you felt the excitement, adrenaline and happiness that you thought may have been gone for good. You felt yourself falling in love with football all over again, it was like the final weight had fallen from your shoulders. There would always be bad days or even bad weeks, you knew that, but with Ingrid, your family and your new found coping mechanisms, you finally felt ready to face them.
---
You arms wrapped around Ingrid as she chopped the vegetables, she briefly turned to kiss your cheek before going back to her task. "Hi Elskling, you played really well today. How did it feel?"
"Hey love. It felt incredible, I know I needed a break, but man did I miss it. Anyway, enough about me I have a surprise for you. I was originally going to give it to you after dinner, but I can't wait anymore. Here." You replied, placing an envelope on the counter in front of her. You could never express how thankful you were for everything Ingrid had done for you over the last few months, for sticking by your side through everything. So instead you had decided to start with a few days away in Venice. It was something she had wanted to do for a while and you decided to make it happen.
Ingrid looked at you for a second before opening the envelope, a smile appearing as she looked at the tickets inside. "What's this?"
"I know what you're going to say to this, but I am so thankful for everything you've done for me. Sure we've spent a lot of time together, but it hasn't been the quality, good time you deserve. So you and I are going to spend a few days alone in Venice in a couple of weeks when we have a bit of time off. Now I don't want to hear any buts or I didn't have to do this, just say you're excited and give me a kiss."
Ingrid cupped your cheeks, allowing you to press her against the counter as she pulled you in for a lingering kiss. Just as Ingrid went to pull away, you cupped the back of her neck pulling her back in as the kiss grew heated. You didn't want to say that you stopped enjoying Ingrid's kisses because that's impossible, it was just intimacy beyond cuddling between the two of you had dropped off to almost nothing the last few months. There were still short kisses here and there, but you couldn't get out of your head long enough to actually be present for anything more and that wasn't fair to Ingrid. Your lips moved along her jaw as a quite moan slipped past Ingrid's lips.
"Di-dinner," Ingrid moaned as your hand slipped under her shirt.
Ingrid's legs wrapped around your waist as you walked back to the bedroom, "Dinner can wait."
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BUDDIE FIC RECS ✴ ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP ✴ VOL. 1
Fic recs with Buck and Eddie in an established relationship.
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all the roads, for your steps by @hattalove Oneshot || Teen || 1796
“I have a minute,” Bobby, still standing there, says when Eddie just blinks at him, frozen. “Are you okay? You look like you need to sit down.”
“I’m, uh,” Eddie swallows, “I’m cursing the patriarchy. Just give me a second.”
or, eddie has a question to ask.
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and longer by far by farfromthstars // @doeeyeseddie Oneshot || Teen || 14547
“Eddie’s been married once, and after Shannon asked him for a divorce and then died before they could do anything about it, he figured that was it for him. One marriage with all its ups and downs is enough for a lifetime. Granted, he didn’t think he’d fall in love with Buck and be lucky enough for that love to be returned.”
OR
Everyone seems to expect Eddie to propose to Buck any minute now, which is annoying because Eddie doesn’t want to get married again. He's sure of that. Or is he?
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Asked, Offered, Given, (He's) Taken by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels Oneshot || Explicit || 2704
People like to flirt with Buck on calls. It kind of makes Buck uncomfortable.
And that makes Eddie frustrated.
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Been about 273 days and I’m coming home. by zimnokurw Oneshot || Not Rated || 1827
When Hen first met Evan Buckley (“call me Buck”) she thought the kid, who looked like a womanizer type, was going to be trouble.
What she did not think was that she was going to win 60$ from Chimney thanks to the fact that the kid is apparently in love with a hot-ass Army Medic.
(Or; Eddie is still in Afghanistan when Buck joins 118, so the team meets him for the first time when he drops by to surprise Evan. / But kinda also like Hen + Chim & Bobby react to Buck as a rookie.)
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beneath my mother tongue by archerincombat Oneshot || Teen || 31552
He sits bolt upright in his seat. Jee-Yun squeals at the sudden movement. “Holy shit,” he says out loud, simultaneously praying that it doesn’t become one of those words his niece repeats until it loses its sparkle. “I told Eddie I loved him.”
Jee-Yun laughs. It feels a little like she’s mocking him. “Dee,” she agrees solemnly, placing a tiny hand on Buck’s cheek.
Or: Buck goes home to Pennsylvania. It's more familiar than he wants it to be.
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bulletproof morning by not1_2write Oneshot || Explicit || 4493
It's not unusual for people to hit on Buck during calls. Beautiful, caring, competent, muscled Buck? Yeah, he gets hit on a lot. He always turns them down. He's taken after all and he only has eyes for Eddie.
Eddie isn't jealous. He is, however, a little insecure. Buck's had a lot of experience with sex and Eddie... not so much. That's not a bad thing... is it?
They have sex about it, then talk.
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call me by your name by ipretendtobesane // @userbuddie Oneshot || Not Rated || 11490
5 times someone calls buck 'diaz' not knowing he was married and the 1 time they call eddie 'diaz' too
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call you home by ashavahishta Oneshot || General || 6000
"He’s like, so pretty sometimes I can’t believe he’s real?” He’d rambled once, so tired at the end of shift he was basically drunk with it. “I’ll take your word for it,” Hen had said patiently, and patted him on the shoulder. “I like girls, remember?”
“He’s built like a Greek god with the face of an angel,” Eddie had argued, a stubborn set to his mouth like he was determined for Hen to believe just how gorgeous his husband was. “Even you couldn’t resist that.”
Or: "Eddie Diaz drinks his 'I fucking love my husband' juice for 6,000 words." OR "5 Times Eddie Told The Firefam About Buck and 1 Time They Actually Met Him".
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doing the things that animals do by @trippedandfell Oneshot || Teen || 3846
“Hey,” Buck says, reaching out to grab Eddie's hand. “How do you feel about red carpets?”
“Tacky in a bedroom, decent in a living room,” Eddie deadpans, because he likes to think he’s funny.
or: Buck's still a zoologist. Eddie's definitely in love.
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Eyes On You by sealeviathan Oneshot || Not Rated || 1060
Hen liked their new probie.
Buck was easy to get along with. He had a husband and a son, he was good at his job and helped everyone to the best of his ability. Not only that, but he was actually interesting. He was passionate, funny, caring and he fit well into the team dynamic. Hen was happy with this information - happy with her knowledge of one Evan Buckley.
That being said, she really didn't expect Buck to be the disloyal type. But here he was, at a bar, practically drooling over some bartender in front of all of his coworkers. The guy even seemed familiar with Buck.
---
Or: The fic where Buck blatantly lusts over Eddie. Hen and Chimney worry they're about to witness a marriage-ending move because Buck failed to mention that Eddie is the man he's married to.
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his name on your heart by spinningincircles // @tripleaxeldiaz Oneshot || Not Rated || 1258
Buck hops off the back of the ambulance, kneeling down so they’re eye to eye. “I’m always happy to help, sweetheart, but my name’s not—”
But he stops, because it hits him like a freight train — he is Mr. Diaz now.
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If I Fall, Can You Pull Me Up? by @princessfbi Oneshot || General || 7066
Eddie could pick Buck from a million miles away. Buck’s entire being was like one bright light in an otherwise cloudy sky. So, he was really interested to know why some stranger was wearing his boyfriend’s turnout coat and pretending to be him.
“This is Captain Nash for Firefighter Buckley. Please report.”
“Bobby,” Eddie said, already hurrying after the guy who was definitely not Buck. “Hey!”
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leading the way home by theosbuckley Oneshot || Not Rated || 4082
Now almost 2 weeks later Bobby was definitely sprouting some new grey hairs that had definitely not been there before and he was sure that he almost had a heart attack this morning - Buck thought he could do some daring rescue and did it without a second thought, and Bobby was slowly going insane, how Buck thought of these ideas was beyond him.
or
an au where buck joins the 118 but is married
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the measuring contest by ColorMeParanoid // @color-me-paranoid Oneshot || Teen || 2598
Hen snorted from her own cot. “Trust me, guys. This isn’t the kind of measuring contest you want to play with Buck because you will lose.”
But, comparing scars and exchanging crazy stories when meeting other people in your profession was basically a rite of passage so of course they didn’t take her warning seriously. It became a challenge instead and Eddie settled in for the show.
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no morning fears, no mountains to climb by iphigenias // @oatflatwhite Oneshot || Teen || 3692
“You’re invited,” Buck read aloud, raising his eyebrows meaningfully. “Together with their families, Jason and Amelia invite you to join them in the celebration of their marriage.” He says the word like that: italicised. Teasing and persistent. Eddie swallows his eggs. “Who’re Jason and Amelia?”
*
Eddie's invited to the wedding of an old army buddy in Texas.
Problem is, they all think he's straight.
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No thing definеs a man like love that makes him soft by justhockey // @everything-i-am Oneshot || Not Rated || 4028
“I don’t think you need a dad, that’s not how families work, right? Like, they all look different,” Chris says. “But it’s okay if you want one. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“What’s it like, having two?” Denny asks, and Buck has to cover his mouth so he doesn’t give himself away.
Christopher’s laugh is loud, and sweet, and tugs on Buck’s heartstrings in the same way that it always has done. He doesn’t even hesitate to say, “It’s fun. I love them.”
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plot twist (and turns) by autumnchills Oneshot || Teen || 4090
“I- I remember putting burgers in the truck. I took some off of Chimney so he could help Eddie finish assessing a patient. That’s the last thing.”
“Okay,” Bobby says, then hesitates before adding, “What happened is that someone stole the truck while you were in there.”
Buck’s head snaps up, and he tries to peer around the edge of the seat and console to get a better look at the guy. This was definitely not the turn he saw his evening taking, all jinxes considered.
aka What if Buck was in the truck when Brian stole it in 4x06?
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seeing you with him just don't feel right (you're giving me a heart attack) by bellabrady Oneshot || Not Rated || 1932
“Holy shit,” Chimney says, grabbing Hen’s arm like he needs to make sure she’s getting this. “So you guys killed our captain?”
“No!” Eddie and Buck say simultaneously.
“We were just…we…,” Buck tries before looking at Eddie for help. Eddie opens his mouth to explain that no, they did not kill their captain but—
“Okay, well, I guess we…,” he says with a grimace. “I guess we kind of killed our captain.”
“Eddie!” Buck snaps.
“What?” Eddie snaps back, throwing his hands up in frustration. “I mean, I don’t think the guy would’ve had a heart attack today if it wasn’t for us.” — Or: Buck and Eddie accidentally give their homophobic captain a heart attack.
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she’ll never get to eat you like your heart's a pomegranate by @colonoscopys Oneshot || General || 10217
Chris smiles at him, soft and steady. There’s a loud clang of the metal door behind both of them, a high pitched AHHHHH noise, and-
Eddie knows – he understands – that he doesn’t look like his kid. Chris has a lot of different features, and more often than not when they go out people expect Buck to be his father. Eddie has the brown hair and the brown eyes, and Chris is all sunshine features and bright blue skies.
But the grins they give each other when they realize who has entered the room – they’re identical.
- or, Five Times Buck was the Weird Parent, and One Time Eddie was
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where there's smoke, there's fire by wakeupnew Oneshot || Teen || 24027
Buck loves Christopher. Buck clearly loves both of them. He and Eddie haven't said it to each other yet, but it's in every gesture, every word. Every package of dinosaur nuggets Buck keeps in his refrigerator. Every time he sends a text because he saw a video of dogs looking ashamed after destroying stuff and he knows Eddie will think it's funny. The care he takes when he carries Chris to bed. How he looks at Eddie when he thinks Eddie's asleep.
It turns out that being in a secret relationship with your best friend in an active fire department is kind of a life-altering situation, once it's suddenly not a secret anymore.
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Whiplash by soft_satan Oneshot || General || 6001
She parked near him and got out, avoiding the puddle as she approached him. Hands on her hips, she shook her head in pity. “What on earth happened to you?”
He looked up at her with a pained smile, his shoulders instantly sagging with relief at the sight of her. “I got carjacked.” ... Thanks to a lack of communication, a horrific accident leads the team to fear the worst.
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whatever you lack, i make up (we make a really good team) by wafflesofdoom // @capseycartwright Oneshot || General || 10034
it was eddie, who found out about the bet.
that had been the 118's first mistake.
or, the one where buck and eddie find out about the 118's bet on their relationship and set out for some well deserved revenge - with athena's help, of course. and a seven-phase revenge plan.
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with every heartbeat i have left by iriswests // @fcntasmas Oneshot || Teen || 8040
Buck and Eddie were expecting to have a little girl.
When their baby girl is born a baby boy, instead, Buck is suddenly confronted with everything he’s been ignoring since he learned about Daniel every time he looks at his son. -- or; buck and eddie have a baby boy, and buck spirals a little bit
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#buddie#buck x eddie#buddie fic recs#buddie fanfiction#buddie fics#thebuddiearchives#established relationship
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WOTTG SPOILERS AFTER THE CUT
.
.
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Can you believe Rick is validating me in my Percy-is-the-most-empathic-character take? I have legal basis but boi does it feel nice to have canon confirmation.
Second that book was short af I got the gist of it all while reading for like an hour.
Third, we addressed everyone else’s trauma. Percy’s still the group therapist LMAO 😭😭😭
Fourth, my son is such a good kid yall, this is why I lose five years of my life when someone insults or when he insults himself jfc my child.
Im honestly still processing and I have to reread the ending. Did it address Percy’s issues? Im going to go with “a bit” and call it a night. I mean, I guess it did? Percy got to unload and help Gale and Hecuba. We got an insight to how he’s managing to stay up and fighting and good despite all the shit he’s put into. Honestly the fact that he saw the humanity in Gale and Hecuba, that he saw their pain and grief and thats what made them trust him, that is so good. And the way he related to them. Goodness. And it highlights again how good a person he is, how much he feels and cares. I mean, he cried cause he had to send Mrs O Leary away, I cant with this kid-
I supposed what Im left unsatisfied with is how he still perceives himself as dumb? Baby, you survived San Fran for two months as a homeless kid without memories and pursued by different monsters who cant die. Youre the furthest thing from dumb.
He cant see this of course and while it was slightly addressed(?) by Annabeth telling him to his face that she doesnt give him enough credit, that he’s pretty smart, I dont think thats enough for addressing this particular issue. There was a time in the middle that he almost snapped because he thought Annabeth probably thinks him too dumb to know what to do next. Which I understand is frustrating to him. But to be fair this book made him look at Annabeth for a solution a lot. Theres also little comments about how when he cant think of anything - which is every 60 seconds apparently according to him- he looks at Annabeth. This doesnt help the co dependent allegations LMAO. Idk, I will die on the Hill that Percy is one of the smartest people in the series, not just emotionally but also in strategy. And theres, of course, nothing wrong with looking at the genius strategist for answers. Ive mixed feelings because definitely this is more of a Percy-insecurity issue than an Annabeth-being-bossy issue. But okay. One more book, heres to hoping we get more heart to heart on that front because Im 999998% sure she doesnt mean to make him feel stupid, Percy’s just got a lot of demons to fight but this in particular they need to figure out together. Still, its obvious how much they care for each other still. If only Dave and Hana did not piss me off at the start Id probably be a little more lenient about this.
Annabeth’s fatal flaw also makes a comeback, we love to see it.
And Sally Estelle Jackson. Now we have to find out wth is Percy’s middle name cause if Sally has one odds are she gave her son too. Trust me. Im Filipino. Iykyk.
Lastly, while I will forever and ever and ever support the trio from pjotv (theyre perfect and have done nothing wrong ever) I can see Rick’s injecting their personalities into the books. Im not sure if he does this on purpose or just subconsciously LMAO. Some of Grover’s dialogue is definitely inspired by Aryan. Percy being Lanky? Walker through and through, especially with his growth spurt lmao, and Annabeth’s confidence? All Leah. I can see what Rick’s trying to do. Ive no opinion on this, just pointing it out. I do love love love the live action. Just. I can see you Rick. You aint slick.
So there. I probably would need to reread the book properly at some point.
#pjo#spoilers#wrath of the triple goddess#wottg#wrath of the tripple goddess spoilers#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth
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watching the entirety of jrwi: riptide again. here's some important things from the first few episodes that I feel we forgot (<110 mentions too though)
Jay
Had night terrors similar to those of Kubakinta's curse in episode 5, and they eventually start returning even after Loffinlot's curse is lifted ○ All of them were about her family and/or the navy ○ I simply think people leave her out of the nightmare stuff and she deserves it. Hurt her more, please (he said, lovingly)
was actually very upset at having to use her medal to get a Loffinlot rebellion to shut up ○ This could be because she didn't want them to guess she was a spy, but I choose to believe it's because she felt guilty
"If you're gonna be sailing with someone, you should have a good relationship with them. [nervous chuckle]." She says, while asking him for information about the Black Rose Pirates (ep. 10)
Said "thank god they didn't find me" after a nightmare about the navy attacking. Even when she was supposedly a spy, who one day would have to return to the navy ○ Very unclear if she was scared of her dad, or if it's because she was a secret spy so the navy would've just killed her
Rewatching, she was suspiciously into the plundering and gold and stuff. Like that was real sus. It doesn't fit her current character much
The only one among them who's gambled before
Chip
The entire thing literally starts off with Bizly holding a lit match
Called Gillion "Gill" and Jay "Sureshot" from an early stage
Was SO much more of a bastard. Lied to Gill constantly, didn't care about anything but the money, etc.
Had aggressive hand tremors alongside Jay's night terrors ○ Gill cures it with lay on hands
When he gets drunk married, they talk extensively about how he'd be released when he's dead. Welp.
They did actually break up and it was fine and they were still friends. They parted on good terms
Is really fucking good at chess ○ Beat Earl twice and Jay once. Jay had a point of exhaustion after a nightmare but Earl had no excuse ○ Lost to Gillion though, but only cause of prophetic screwup ○ This kid is smarter than he lets on, y'all
Was the first one to have a backstory dump while Jay is asking him about the Black Rose Pirates, yet still we know jack shit about his life before them other than "orphan"
Gill
Charlie has referred to Gillion with 'they' many times. I can pull receipts.
When describing Gill, Charlie said: "He's more.. elven, if you had to make a comparison. 'Cause I don't wanna be a fish guy". Oh, honey.
Smote a bald person by using his hair as a whip (ep. 4)
Was given anxiety and self-doubt alongside jay's night terrors and chip's tremors ○ "What do you want?" "I want the feeling of satisfaction I've been chasing my whole life." ○ This was episode FIVE.
First mention of the prophecy and how Gillion wasn't their ideal student is ep. 7, after he divine smites + prophetic screwups and deals like 60 damage to some beetles ○ Chip spends the next 30 seconds in gay awe
He refers to the crescent moon Niklaus tattoo as "my zodiac" (probably a bit) ○ It's not a lil basic white girl moon this thing is the entire size of his forearm
Gill had never heard about the Black Sea - it's unclear if the Undersea just don't know, or if that's just how sheltered he was (ep. 10)
Biz: "What would Gillion do. If he just had no goal - was just sitting there." "Gillion always has a goal." "Would his goal ever be to just.. Sit there?" "Absolutely not." ○ Later, Chip expresses that he doesn't know what Gillion likes. What he would want out of winning a bet. Gillion doesn't have an answer
Other
Apple, in a couple of early battles, acted like Gill's familiar (see: ep. 7)
They also pecked at his Niklaus tramp stamp and looked all confused at the idea of eating seeds
The specific crescent of the moon in the Niklaus tattoo is known as a symbol of "corruption" (ep. 9) and its antonym is the sun, for "life", similar to the yin and yang ○ Interesting to consider after what the tree said in 110 <_<
Pretzel has a masters degree in couple's therapy (ep. 10)
The Albatross/Millennium Chipper was described as the colour of rosewood or mahogany
Captain Lizzie's first introduction was a wanted poster, and Chip wanted to turn her in for the prize, then decided to try learn from her instead
Chip/Bizly called Old Man Earl "Erol" for a loooong time ○ Maybe it's an accent thing but I have an uncle called Erol and so this stands out to me
#I have lots of thoughts about all of this#jay also got her gun in like ep 1 but didnt use it for ages#idk. it's unclear with the combat in the beginning. she just says “shoot”. i love her anyway#jay the kinda girl to have a “no boys” sign up but then when she meets chip and gill she changes it to “son boy” like that one meme#theyre all my favourite character#not art#jrwi riptide#jrwi show#jrwi jay#jrwi chip#jrwi gillion#jay ferin#chip bastard#gillion tidestrider#jrwi#just roll with it#just roll with it show#just roll with it riptide
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Bird Behaviors
An Adam x Reader Ramble
A.N. - Hello hello, my dears. I got bored in my chemistry class so here’s some brain rot because I love looking into how a character’s animal nature can affect their daily life and I might go into a full psychological rant about a few later but anywizzle-
Cw - Pushy coworker (doesn’t go into detail) / pissy Adam
Just Adam Being Part Bird (Not Really)
Wing Flapping (Whenever he finds something stupid hilarious that he wants to share, his wings usually flap behind him.)
“Hey, hot stuff!”
You sighed, looking up from your phone to look at whatever he wanted to show you now. It was usually a random rock or something shiny.
“Look, look, look,” he walked up next to you, his wings shifting behind him, “it’s a dick, right?”
You gave him a look.
He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, whatever, but it is, isn’t it?” He shoved the rock in your face as you looked it over. It looked more like a heart, but knowing him, he wouldn’t agree.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
His wings flapped behind him as he grinned wider, “Right? Fucking called it. Lute said it looked like Missouri. I knew you’d agree, babe.”
You smiled at his childish antics, “Yup.”
Preening (Despite what you might think, he takes good care of himself. He’s the face of his band after all.)
“Adam, I got the-“ you paused at the sight. Adam was bent in a strange way, his wings fully unfurled, as he tried to reach a spot by the base of his wings, “Fucking ass why are you so damn-“
He paused, then fell, cursing.
“Fucking hell, gimme a damn warning, bitch,” he huffed. He sat down on the couch, arms crossed with his wings half groomed.
You laughed, “Yeah, yeah,” you stood behind him, “sit up.”
“I don’t need your fucking help.”
“Up, Adam.”
With some more grumbling, he obliged.
Beak Clicking (Adam has this weird habit he does every time someone tries to flirt with you.)
“C’mon, just one? I promise to pay and everything,” they pleaded. Your coworker had been asking for a date this past week. You repeatedly told them no, but they didn’t seem to get the hint.
You, of course, told Adam. Something you were regretting now that you saw him standing menacingly behind them.
He kissed his teeth, “So, you’re the one who’s been annoying ‘em, huh?”
They turned around, not expecting Adam to be there, “Oh, uh, hey, A-”
“Don’t ‘hey, Adam’ me, bitch,” he looked them over, “What the Hell do you think you’re doing? They said no, so leave.”
“I, uh, yeah, okay.”
Fluffing (He gets cold easily. And he makes it very well known)
“I don’t wanna,” he whined.
“Look,” you put on a jacket, “it’s not even 60 degrees. You’ll be fine.
“Nuh uh,” his wings formed a very fluffy cocoon around him, “I’ll freeze!”
You pinched your nose, “Adam, I need to leave.”
“But I don’t want you leaving me.”
“Then come on!”
“It’s cold,” he pouted.
You have to admit, seeing his cute stupid little face surrounded by his wings made you want to just stay and cuddle.
He knew that, of course, “C’mon. I’m cold, you’re warm, just cuddle me, bitch.”
You raised a brow, making him pause.
“Uh, please?” He gave you that damned look.
You sighed, already taking off your jacket, “I hate you.”
He had a smug grin, “Love you, too, hot stuff.”
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