#what has my life vome to

[just-another-bored-killjoy]

good evening and welcome back to another episode of do i want to be her or with her

[dckweed]

OMG DID YOU JUST SQY THAT A JEW PART IS VOMING OUT SOON FOR I JUST FEEL SO STUPID !?!? 🥹🫶🏻

hi love here it is :) i lied earlier when i said you would need tissues, save them for part three you guys okay? bc that will be up by the end of next week. as someone who's been pregnant, i had a completely different one than most people do, it was very intensely tumultuous and life threatening on my end towards the end. this in no way reflects my pregnancy.

3.777k words.

warnings: pregnancy, morning sickness, mama Byers, brotherly jonathan idk what else to put.

part one

"..I'LL BE THERE.." billy hargrove x female!hopper reader

It had been only a couple of days since your confession and subsequent break down in front of Joyce, the woman had been amazing, you had to admit. She had kept true to her word and hadn't said a word to your father, she had picked you up from school the next day around noon and had driven you straight to her gynecologists office, she had thought about buying you a test kit from the store, but she needed to be sure about this, and so did you. 

The ride there was silent and tense, though she had asked how you'd been feeling and if you were okay. You had given her simply a meek nod of your head, ready to just go home and hide in your bed. She ushered you inside the building, walking up to the reception desk with you. 

"My daughter has a 12:30 appointment with Doctor Parsons," She says, and you can't help but feel warm at the mention her calling you her daughter, you can't help the small smile on your lips at the notion. She talks to the lady for a few more moments before being handed a clipboard and a pen, ushering you over to the waiting area. "Alright honey, just need to answer some of these.."

Once you fill out all of the papers, using her address instead of yours Incase they mailed anything that you didn't want your father seeing, you hand her the clipboard and she takes it back to the receptionist. Before she can even sit back down an overly chipper blonde headed lady pokes her head out of a door that leads to a hallway and calls your name. 

You stand, holding your hand out for Joyce. "I don't want to do it alone." You say, and the woman gives you a warm smile, rubbing your back as she squeezes your hand, walking next to you. 

"You're not alone." You knew she meant the words in more ways than one, and for that you were more than grateful. 

The nurse that had called your name hands you a small plastic cup with your name on it before taking your weight, sending you off to the bathroom. Thankfully you had managed to keep a whole bottle of water down this morning, and hadn't peed since before you left for school. 

The patients room was small and cold, and you couldn't help but shiver in the thin dressing gown they had given you to put on, incase they needed to do more of an exam, incase the test was positive. 

The pair of you sat in a tense silence, you perched on the edge of the exam table, her in one of the hard plastic chairs to your left. You picked at your fingers, a nervous habit you had picked up over the years, one you did mostly when you were thinking deeply about something, much as you were right now. 

Your mind was a swirling mess, you don't remember much of the last couple of days, much less today. You had gone through the halls like a zombie, not speaking or even looking at people, your body on its own kind of auto pilot. You hadn't noticed the worried glances from Jonathan or Nancy, the hushed whispers of El and your father this morning, you hadnt even noticed Billy shadowing you through the halls, trying to catch your attention. You don't even remember hearing any of your teachers talking, your brain nothing but one big buzz of a blur as you thought about what was possibly growing inside of your uterus, your future. 

God, this was terrifying. How were you going to do this? How were you going to tell your father? Jesus, how were you going to tell Billy?

"Joyce," Your voice shakes and the woman looks up at you, she had been staring intently at the white tile floor, her leg bouncing nervously. She hums, bottom lip in her mouth as she chews on it. "my dad is going to be so mad at me.." 

Joyce stands, shaking her head. "Hey now, don't think like that, Y/N," She says, taking your hands in her own. They were warm, and comforting as she rubbed her thumbs across the backs of your knuckles. "Your dad is by no means a gentle hearted man at times but he is your father, and he loves you. Hop might be a bit upset, but he'll come around, and i know he'd support you in whatever you decide to do..even if he doesn't like your decisions." You nod at her words, knowing she's right, but you don't feel the least bit comforted by them, your whole world was changing, you didn't need the doctors to tell you, you already knew. "Now what about this Billy kid?"

You swallow thickly, lifting your head up to meet her eyes. "What about him?" Your voice is quiet, small as you grimace, thinking back to the night that had lead you to this moment. 

Joyce opens her mouth to speak, eyebrows furrowed, but is interrupted by the light knock on the door, followed by the doctor poking his head in. He gives you a smile, walking in. 

"Joyce, good to see you.." He says, giving the woman a friendly handshake. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but i believe birthed all of your children with you, i don't recall there being any girls.." 

"She's not mine by blood, Doc, but she's as good as." She says, giving you a squeeze in your shoulder. You reach up to grab her hand, enjoying the comfort of brought you to hear those words. "So..are we.. expecting?"

The doctor purses his lips, looking at the two of you as he leans against a machine you hadnt noticed before. "You are indeed, yes. Urinalysis picked up levels of the pregnancy hormone.." He says, you feel a slight sense of relief at the news, because at least now you knew for sure. "I'd like to have you back on Wednesday for an ultrasound and some basic measurements so that we can find out exactly how far along you are..give you a few days to think about your options.." 

You don't know what to say, eyes wide and mouth slacked. Joyce does the talking for you, before helping you down off of the table to dress, you going through the motions as she helps you back into your clothes. 

"What the fuck am i going to do?" 

Joyce was amazing to say the least. She had taken you home to her house that afternoon, and held you in her arms as you cried on her couch, sobbing into her lap as you blubbered about how this wasn't what you wanted to do with your life, how you hadn't ever meant to be pregnant at your age, let alone by losing your virginity. 

She had let you stay the night, and saturday night as well, taking the whole weekend off of work to be with you. Jonathan had protested when she kicked him out of his own room for you to have somewhere quiet to rest, especially once the morning sickness got to you, but he had gone quietly none the less, eyes narrowed as he wondered what the hell was going on. 

On Sunday, around noon you called Joyce into the room, you had just finished throwing up everything you had managed to keep down throughout the night, which was mostly just water and some saltine crackers. She was kind enough to bring a fresh glass of water with her, and you groaned softly when she climbed into the bed behind you, brushing hair away from your forehead. 

"It gets better in a few months honey, i promise." She says softly, and you feel the motherly love flow through her fingertips. You relished in the feel of it, your body relaxing even if only for a few minutes. 

"That's a few months too long.." You groan, pulling Jonathan's blanket farther up your body. She chuckles and you sit in silence for a minute, before you breathe out a tense breath. "I want to tell dad tonight..I'm scared, but he needs to know first." 

Joyce hums. "Im scared too baby, but you're right, he needs to know." She knew Jim might possibly fly off the handle, she knew that he might raise his voice and stomp around, but she also knew that he loved you, and he would support you, even if he disagreed with your choices. "Well, he gets off early today, so I guess I'll go ahead and start on dinner..what sounds good?" 

After a few hours, you had finally gotten dressed, throwing on an old sweater that Joyce had given you and your pants that she had washed for you. Your father was off work early, much as she had said, and you gave him a tight hug, thankful for the time you had while he wasn't mad at you.

When it was time for everyone to sit down for dinner, you stayed next to Joyce, feeling the most comfortable. Will and Jonathan were on one side, El and your father on the other, talking about how their weekends had been going, what their dungeons and dragons campaign had been like. It was a normal, happy dinner. You pushed your pasta around your plate, taking a few bites here and there, the food being the one thing that didn't make your stomach roll at the sight or smell of it. 

"Y/N, honey? You've been awfully quiet.." Your father says, you look up at him quickly, your eyes wide. "What's on your mind?" 

You stammer over your words for a moment, before Joyce gives your hand a gentle squeeze, calming you enough to be able to spit it out. "Um, actually dad, I do have something to tell you, everyone actually." He sets his fork down, still chewing his food and he looks at you ecpextantly, the whole table goes quiet, eyes on you. "I know you're going to be upset, and I'm upset at myself as well, but i can't change what's happened.."

He looks at you, brows furrowed as his expression changes into one of anxiousness. "Y/N…" He says, voice low, your name slow to come off of his lips. "What's going on?" He glanced at Joyce too, not liking the soft look she sends his way. 

"Dad, guys, I'm..pregnant." 

Tables hadn't exactly flipped, but they were close to it. Your dad's hand squeezed around his fork as his face paled at your words. Did i hear that right? He wondered, eyes wide as he slowly turned his head to look at you. "What did you say?" The entire table had gone silent, still. It was almost as if everyone was afraid to move incase if brought his wrath down upon them.

You rub your lips together for a moment, your leg bouncing up and down under the table in nervousness as you squeeze Joyce's hand tightly, trying not to outwardly convey your fears. "I'm pregnant, dad.." You spit out once more, feeling bile rise in the back of your throat. "I'm gonna be sic-" You rise from the table quickly, hand over youe mouth as you sprint to the bathroom, just barely making it to hover above the toilet, and not nearly in enough time to keep it from spewing down your clothes. 

You vaguely hear footsteps coming after you, and feel someone's presence move your hair back from your face as you vomit the contents of your stomach, your anxiety and morning sickness mixing together to push it all out. You groan as you sink down to your knees, and almost jump through the window when you realize it's your father's hand rubbing your back now, trying his best to soothe you. "I'm sorry.." 

He doesn't say anything for a few moments but you see his face soften, some of his anger, or maybe fear ebbing away at your complete look of panic and fear. "This why you've been staying here the last couple days?" He asks, his voice tight, you know that that's a sign that he's trying to avoid his emotions, to control them and push them down. You nod, his hand stops rubbing your back. "Alright honey, why don't you go lay down okay? I need to talk with Joyce.." 

He helps you to Jonathan's room, pulling the blanket up around you as you curl up into a ball on the bed that was surprisingly comfortable and welcoming warmth after having stripped yourself of your sweater that had been ruined by your vomit. 

"Don't be mad at her dad..she was only trying to go what i asked.." You murmur, stomach still rolling, causing your face to blanch before you gag. You father grimaces as he holds up a trash bin for you to barf in, turning his head as he rubs your back again. After a minute or so you raise your head up, eyes drooping with exhaustion. "She was only trying to be a mom.."

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Monday rolled around faster than you had wanted it to, Jonathan waking you by shaking your shoulder gently, holding a cup of water out to you. You take it gratefully, the taste of vomit and bad breath lingering in your mouth. 

"Did they argue?" You ask, voice raspy as you watch him go through his dresser for clothes. "It's my fault if they did, i shouldn't have had her keep a secret like that.." 

Jonathan shakes his head, rolling his eyes at you. "I know it's just you being emotional because you're pregnant, but you're an entire rollercoaster to be around the last couple of weeks, you know that?" He asks, looking over at you. He grind and ducks as you throw a pillow at him. "They didn't fight..well, they did, but mom put your dad in his place and they came to a stiff agreement before they kissed and made up." 

You hum, sipping the water slowly. "Good, he needs her to humble him." You say. "You driving me to school?" He looks back up at you as he finally digs out some clothes. 

"You going today?" He asks, looking at you. "Do you even want to be around Billy right now?" You narrow your eyes at him. "Oh come on, it wasn't that hard to figure out, he's been staring at you for weeks now, and i know it wasn't Steve that took you to that party, he wouldn't have left you on the front porch drunk like that." 

You swallow thickly, suddenly nervous. "He needs to know, might as well confront him about it now, it would be rude of me to suddenly show up one day with a baby belly and just be 'hey, Billy, you're having a kid soon!'." You push the blankets off of you, slowly getting to your feet. You were queasy, but not overly, and for that you were grateful. 

The drive to school was thankfully not horrible, Jonathan being kind enough not to take turns too hard and swerving so as not to cause your stomach to roll. He even walked you into school, making sure you had your sweater because you seemed to be so cold all the time that you shivered. 

The day had been long, your exhaustion washing over you as you moved from class to class, smiling and talking to your friends and teachers as you did, feeling somewhat like yourself again with the weight of your affliction off of your shoulders now that you had at least told your family about it. Billy plagued the back of your mind the whole day, you had caught glimpses of him in the halls, but hadn't made any moves to talk to him, you figured it'd be easier to corner him after basketball practice, when he would be in a decent-ish mood and more willing to talk. 

That was where you were now, your bag on your shoulder and the sleeves of your sweater tucked up around your hands, you were cold. "Jonathan, really, I'm okay." You say exasperatedly, he had been on your heels all day between classes, asking if you needed anything, practically being over protective as if he were the father of the baby you were carrying. "Go home.." 

He looks at you, and then glances out at Billy on the on the floor, he was sweaty and shirtless, much too good looking, you thought. "You're going to need a ride home, and what if he acts like a total dick, huh?"

You groan, turning to face him. "Jonathan, go home. Let me do this by myself, this is between him and I, it's not your mess." You say a little too forcefully. "I appreciate you being so sweet, and for letting me take over your room this weekend..but really, im okay." 

He's hesitant still, but he finally concedes, hanging his head as he sighs. "Well, call me when you get home at least, just so I know you're safe." He kisses the top of your head before grabbing his bag and getting his keys from his pocket, you can't help but adore the way he had adapted to being a brother to you. 

Practice goes on for another good long hour, and you're grateful when it's finally over, making your way down the bleachers as the boys head to the locker rooms. You sit on the bottom row, foot nervously tapping and subconsciously, a protective hand on your stomach as it rolled in nausea. "Woah little one, hold your horses on that.." You mutter, and after a moment, it goes away almost as if it had understood you, even if it still wasn't more than just a clump of cells at that moment. 

A while longer passes, and you grow impatient as you wait, pulling a book out of your bag to entertain your overly worried mind. You don't hear the locker room door open, or his footsteps approach you, and you jump in fright when you hear his voice. "Are you sick your something?" He asks, taking you in cautiously. He noticed that you were awfully pale, and you looked queasy most of the day, particularly at lunch. 

You swallow, looking up at him. "I wish.." You murmur, putting your book away. "Billy, we need to talk.." You stand, face to face with him, mustering all the courage you could. 

He cocks his lips into a smirk, looking at you with those devilish eyes. "What? Are you pregnant?" He asks jokingly, completely expecting you to roll your eyes at him, he chuckles for a moment until he sees your pursed lips, and an unsettling feeling wells up in his stomach. He feels about as sick as you look. "Oh..you aren't..are you?" 

You look away, unable to find the words. Slowly, you sink back down onto your spot on the bench, looking down at your feet. He's silent, and as a large group of boys comes barreling out of the locker room, he sinks down next to you, hands on his thighs, an odd expression on his face. 

"Are you okay?" You ask, he looked like he was feeling every emotion all at once, and it made you s little nervous. "Billy?" You ask, nudging his shoulder gentler with your own. 

He snaps out of his trance and glances at you, eyes wide as he turns to fully face you. "Am I okay? Are you okay?" He asks, and you sense actual concern in his voice, something that surprises you to no end. "Like..does it hurt or anything? Oh god are you actually sick? Is that really a thing?" 

You chuckle for a moment, taken aback by the concerned side of him. "Billy, im fine..sick constantly, I threw up after lunch, and all weekend..i can't keep anything down but Joyce says that that happens.." You see him tense as you speak. "Cold too, and god im exhausted..but anyway, i just wanted to tell you..i figured you had a right to..what are you doing?" Before you had finished speaking his leather coat was off of his shoulders and swung over yours, you stare up at him, shocked. 

"You're cold. My jacket is warm. Why are you only in that sweater? Don't you have anything warmer?" He asks, he wasn't exactly thrilled by the situation, but he wasnt stupid, he was just as much a part of this fuck up as you were, except he didn't have to deal with as many consequences as you did. The least he could do was not be a dick. 

"I spent the weekend with Joyce, this was all I had with me.." You say off handedly, though you snuggle up into the coat. It really was warm. You could tell he had more questions, but you honestly were shocked that he was being so…not him, and the stress of the anticipation has you more tired than anything. Maybe you should have had Jonathan wait for you. "I know you probably have alot to say, or maybe you don't, but..can we talk about all of it tomorrow? Im exhausted, and stressed and probably gonna throw up soon..I just want to go home.." 

And home you went, he had insisted on driving you, careful not to drive so erratically, and even turning the heat on for you even though it wasnt too cold out yet. He had even offered to walk you to the front door, but seeing your dad's car in the drive you figured that wasn't such a good idea. 

"Thank you, Billy.." You say, slipping out of his jacket. You hesitate before going to open the door, and you feel him shift towards you as if to ask if you're okay. "If you're interested, I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday for an ultrasound to see the..baby.." That was the first time you had said it out loud, and to be frank, it was quite weird coming from your lips.

Billy swallows, your words making it sink in just a bit more. Holy fuck, he thought, i really knocked her up.. "I'll be there." He says definitively, nodding at you as you give him a small smile before climbing out of car. He sits for a moment, head back against his seat as you walk up to your front door. He watches you disappear before driving off himself. 

[crystal-iceblossomxjackfrost4evr]

Tw manipulative Parental unit bullshit/my sociopathic tendencies towards said parental unit/ and small death stuff in the past/small mention of suicidal thoughts in thr past

So like i maybe go off like a villain here. Sending herw to send link to my megamind server buds. Uhm but yeaaa sorry if u didnt realize yet i can be quite crazy when it comes to real assholes like this guy. And i have no love whatsoever for child abusers /manipulators in anyway, shape, form or fashion.

Background: Only mental,emotional financial and phsyical type of abuse happened to me. Nothing rated M/E other then objectification for modeling. I have adhd and possibly many others including autism,anxiety, and recently thinking cptsd

Uh rant below

[[MORE]]

:readmore:

||So like TELL ME WHY this mans asked me TWICE NOW trying to bribe me to vome home and take care of his dumb ass

He has no working arms and i feel b

Pity im not completely heartless but i also laugh my ever fucking ass off cuz its his own karma hitting him

Its been damn near 3 years (1.5-2 since his accident) and hes STILL TRYING TO MAKE ME COME BACK

BITCH I RAN AWAY WITH 8 SUITCASES AND NOTHING ELSE WHYYYYYY

WHYYYYY WOULD I COME BACK TO UR NARCISSITIC MANIPULATIVE ASSANINE BULLSHIT

UR BEING SWEET and adoraaable and all "ohhh i love u princess. I wish u back princess. Im cryinnnng princess. Ill pay u 3600 a month! Ill pay 4000! A month!"

NO

NO

NO

I COULD BE PAID 14 GODDAMN GRAND A MONTH UR A LIAR

U will absolutely become a hellish monster again once im back in ur clutcges and im honestly cackling like a sociopath

This fucker has made me go full sociopath anime villain ass tendrncies. 0ne wrong step and i couldve been goddamn loki or deadpool in the real world im not kidding!!

If i got STUCK in the pandemic with this HO one of us would e died

One of us wouldve died.

I mainly kept tellin the doctors to leave him alive cuz i felt bad. I knew hed want to. I need SOMEONE to take care of the house (im broke af) and i wanna get life insurance to get i dunno 1k, 10k, 50k, 100k SOMETHING out of him.

And hes useful in helping me with grocery and occasional actual money

Just SIGH sighh i do love him

.....Hah Ahahha

Okay i USE to love him. I just feel bad for the guy at this point. He lost his goddamn chance for me to love him when i had to cry my goddamn self to sleep every fucking night of highschool asking Whyyyy the fuck he and mama dont seem to care. Even after saying my suicidal tendencies. Even after so many instances of me being angry beyonf measure. So many instances of abusing me even after mama (gramma) died. Even to the point where i legit was feeling insane from LACK OF QLEEP CUZ HE WONT TURN DOWN THE STUPID BASS

I cant stannnnnnnnnnnd bass anymore. Any bass in a speaker in a neighbors house i cant deal with.

Ppl yelling at me i cant deal with.

I dont think i can legit EVER fully live on my own without someone to at the least help me take care of thr house, appointments, paperwork and signing up or filling out things and spiders (sever phobia tht he neverrr helped)

Im 90% sure all of my diagnosis are 10000 or more % worse if not outright caused by him besides my adhd and autism

And even after all tht.

Alll the crying. All the screaming silently. All the manipulation. And abuse until he fucked my head around sideways and inside out

HE STILL THINKS ID EVERRRRR WANT TO GO BACK

im on low contact for "wow your life sucks" ahahajaha reasons just cuz i call u a couple times a month or two and we get along on the phone (cuz i laid down the tule if he starts yelling imma hang the eff up and or he starts blaming me imma sob story him till he shuts up) does not mean i will ever EVER live with him again

And if i even EVER THINK ABT GOING BACK its because i miss my house and old life i can never have and if i ever reallly think abt going back to him. My bog brother. My roommate, my bonus mother and prolly both besties would slap me upside the head or knock me out or tie me down and ask what the ever loving fucks wrong with me!!!

Jeezus christ! "I thought ud at least think abt it!" I THOUGHT ABT it for 23 yeaaaaars before i managed to get away u crazy man

No!

And even if i did I CANT TAKE CARE OF PPL i get grossed out touchin the hair tht combs off when i comb my own head.

I get grossed out at taking care of my own body

I get grossed out or shut down at the littlest of things tht even miss or roomie go WHY ARE U HAVING TRBL. Becauseee of himmmm. He made damn sure i would have to rely on ppl for the rest of my life which sets me up poorly to everrrr take care of him. Id rven told mama someone else would have to take care of herr. Id hire and pay someone but I. CANT. DO. IT.

So boo hoo sad story feels bad man but u made sure id have these fucking problems and dig ur grave and i wanna just scream at him to just lie in it nowwwww but i still need him and need to make sure he wont eff me in selling thr house tht mama for some reason only gave me half of. And maybe bribe him to keep my stuff in storage till im stable with a job again Ugh ;*; ||

Tw manipulative Parental unit bullshit/my sociopathic tendencies towards said parental unit/ and small death stuff in the past/small mention of suicide thoughts in the past

[surrealsunday]

Jaime! I started watching kinnporsche because of you and I have a question. People have said Kinn feel first but Porsche fell harder. Do y ou agree? I think an obsession is voming on with this show

The fact that I got two asks with you guys just yelling my name first thing and I don't even think it's the same person completely cracked me up. I am thrilled you’re watching and enjoying, anon! 

But a Kinnporsche ask! This is exciting! So let's dive in... (and you know me... it’ll probably get long ����).

Short answer is yes. I think Kinn fell first and Porsche fell harder. But I should clarify that I don't think Porsche is more in love. I think both Kinn and Porsche are on very equal ground when it comes to how much - and exactly how desperately - they've fallen in love with one another. And I think that's something the show has done a really good job of showing... or I suppose an even more accurate way of putting it is emoting. This is despite the fact that Porsche and Kinn have different (though not entirely dissimilar) ways of expressing that vulnerability. 

I think Kinn went into this entire situation aware of the way he was drawn to Porsche from the very beginning. Like here was this seriously beautiful guy who pops into Kinn’s life by chance, saves his ass, shows alllll the sass in the world, isn’t at all intimidated or cowed by the ring on Kinn’s finger (or, like, that whole kidnapping him thing lmao), and treats Kinn only as a man from the very beginning (a man who was seriously pissing him off 😂). There is no doubt - despite the way he bitched - that Kinn was intrigued and drawn to Porsche despite himself. Kinn is also openly gay and obviously completely confident in his sexuality. And there was an element of attraction from the very beginning that Kinn definitely noticed. Side note: I love in those first few frozen eye connection moments in early eps it’s clear Kinn is caught in the moment and this pull towards Porsche, but Apo kept his expression relatively devoid of obvious reaction in return (a clear choice considering both actors are freaking masters at micro expressions). So Kinn goes about things in a very natural (for lack of a better word) way. He’s drawn to Porsche, attracted to him, gets to know him better, and falls. And it’s a soft fall imo. He’s aware as it’s happening which also explains to me how and why he initiates as much as he does. He’s unsure of how Porsche feels initially, but he’s very aware of how he feels (even as it conflicts with everything he believes his familial duties require and even as he fights that reality). And he falls even more deeply as the episodes and their relationship progresses - to the point we’re at now where he is in deep. And Kinn has been in love before. This is a feeling he recognizes. I think what has thrown his head (and heart) into turmoil is not just the baggage from his ex, but that he recognizes love - and more significantly, recognizes that his love for Porsche is on a level he hasn’t experienced before (something I really hope the show will have him point out). 

As for Porsche... Porsche fell for Kinn like an asteroid hitting the earth (sorry for the dramatic metaphor but… really… it’s appropriate). Like, we’re talking an earth shattering slam of emotion that left him more vulnerable than he’s ever been and completely reeling with feeling he’s never experienced before. The reverberations of that impact are seen in so many ways - in his confusion and repeated need for some sort of verbal acknowledgement of feeling from Kinn, in his anguish when the intensity of feeling is followed by Kinn’s cold aloofness and cruel treatment, in the way he seeks out Kinn again and again, in the way he responds to Kinn’s affection and touch, and on and on. This was not a soft fall. Porsche slammed into love with violence and desperation and a total lack of familiarity. He’s never been in love before... and to fall in love for the first time with this kind of intensity? Yeah... that’s gonna hit hard. Porsche is such a strong character. In every way. Physically he’s a BAMF, but he’s also a self-assured, sassy, cocky, capable shit disturber. So to see exactly how vulnerable he becomes with Kinn has really been something. And so that’s what I mean by agreeing Porsche fell harder.

In the end, I think both Porsche and Kinn need someone who challenges them - an equal partner in their lives and someone who doesn’t hesitate in calling them out on their shit. This isn’t something Porsche has ever had. And while we know little about Kinn’s ex, it seems clear from the unhappy ending, an equal partner was not what he got there. I think this is the first time for both of them that they have someone standing across from them who sees them for the man they are and wants exactly that while offering the same. It’s a pretty special thing and a truly phenomenal dynamic to watch develop. 

[madschiavelique]

A Crown Of Ink : Chapter 3 - Two of Cups (reversed)

masterlist : 1 — 2 — 3 — 4 word count : 5,2k

mentions of : wounds, bit of blood, twisted ankle, bruised hands, panic attack (if i missed anything please don't hesistate to tell me)

summary : You've always been an excellent in student in the Academy, getting the best results and always being first in every class. But it all changes as soon as you see your name in the second place, the first being occupied by a certain Viktor.

some extra information on this : she/her reader, academic rivals to lovers/enemies to lovers, reader is really competitive and wants to be first at everything, tarot themed fanfiction with guidelines, slow burn

author's note : heyyy third chapter !! i have not started working on the next one yet but hey been posting lotta stuff lately soooo yea :)) hope you'll enjoy (my native language is not English so you might find some grammar mistakes - sorry about that)

tag list : @wincestisasincest , @doctorho

Darkness, stale, earthy dust. The depths of Zaun are like a permanent gaze towards a sky as dark as a night covered with clouds of brown and purplish vapours. This is not a landscape that you forget, these are not rock walls that soften you. They harden you, metamorphose you into one of their kind. They rip you from your humanity, deprive you of your rights and send you back the echoes of screaming voices.

In a secluded corner, far below the Entresol Level, you enter a place worthy of nightmare descriptions. It's hidden near one of the few sections where Zaun's power generators are located, making a din which can drown out any sound that might be made by a human being. Screaming in this area would be like screaming ten metres deep in water.

To get there, you can take a lift that will bring you down to an almost deserted crossroads. You walk down a few urine-stinking corridors that will lead you to the first power station, only you have to pass it and get to the second. Near this one, you will find a filthy trap door on the ground reserved for customers which takes you down a small staircase. And there, it's another world.

The air smells of honeyed alcohol, tobacco and sweat, and you talk so much that you can only hear yourself speak if you raise your voice above laughter and screaming.

This entrance, you only took it twice in your life, when you entered and then when you left, when you escaped.

"Seven, Fourteen, up." growls Vome's greasy voice. "Next one will be Three and Five."

You stroke your left shoulder, no round for you tonight. Seven and Fourteen stand up, Fourteen limps, he was put against Six last night who gave him a violent blow to the ankle. The doctor just put a bandage on him and a strong smell of menthol, clove and eucalyptus.

They put it on your leg too, when Eight kicked your calf. The balm was fresh in the doctor's hand, but after applying it to you, it had been warm, very warm, a warmth that felt good and contrasted with the cool rocky ground.

You would have liked to coat yourself with this balm, to put it on your shoulder, to apply it to every tired limb of your body, to butter your heart and soul to bring back some warmth in this damp cold in which you lived.

The shouts start again, both encouraging and threatening.

"Go on, hit him!"

"Hit the jaw you idiot!"

"If you don't win this fight I'll personally take care of you!"

Flesh on young bones clashing, it's an uneven rhythm camouflaged by the screams of the gamblers. It's really ugly, to let one of the injured battle against a fit one.

But the profits that will come out of this match are strategic: one is injured, the other is not, one has an advantage, the other is bound to lose, from this information we already know what to expect for the bets.

The uproar and the shouting intensifies a great deal, until exploding in a climax and then subsiding little by little. The match is over, they have to exchange money, some swearing and others lining their pockets.

It is on a portable stretcher that Fourteen returns. His left eye is swollen, his lip is split and bloody. His ankle looks even worse than before the battle, he's passed out but seems to be in pain even into unconsciousness as he's laid down not too far from you.

You then approach Fourteen, taking his hand: the knuckles are bruised, red and studded with brown and cherry skin scabs. You hold and treat it like a candle about to go out, like a handful of sand that might disperse in the wind.

You've known Fourteen since you arrived, he's one of the older guys who's been in this for a while and you've made friends with him. Up close, he was looking more bruised than a month old apple.

"Pathetic." his voice is barely audible.

You look up, his eyelids are pressed with pain and his eyebrows are arched with pity.

"Don't move," you murmur simply, taking a rag of fabric that serves as a duvet and rolling it into a pillow-like shape.

With great care, you bring your hand below his knee to lift his leg and place the cushion under his aching ankle.

It is twisted, blue, red and swollen. A strange feeling runs down your legs, as if you've stepped in electric water up to your thighs.

"The doc will be here soon."

"If I keep going down, they'll end me."

"Don't say that. You have a fever. You're delirious," you say, bringing your hand to his sweaty forehead. Burning.

"Paint stripes on a toad, it'll never make it a tiger."

The dubious doc arrived, pulling you away and sending you back to your bed. You would never forget that sentence. You were probably like him, another toad thrown into a tiger arena.

Only they don't know the poison the toad possesses.

"Hey, you!"

You turn around, Vome is standing behind you. He looks like a bulldog, chin forward, small pig nose, brow and eyelids encroaching on his small, dark, squinty eyes.

"You're in next."

Your throat tightens.

"But I wasn't called."

"Oh, because you're answering now?"

"But it's not my turn !"

His heavy body and beer-rounded belly come towards you, grabbing your arm with a firm grip that hurts.

The sounds of the crowd are getting closer, you can hear them despite your heart pounding in your ears, the corridor is getting brighter and brighter with a dirty orange glow. You don't want to go, you don't want to, you never wanted to.

Your eyelids open wide as you take a huge breath. It's as if you've suddenly risen from deep water and finally reached the surface as your lungs burn, you missed the air and you never thought you'd have the strength to swim all the way.

You breathe hard until your inhales are so strong you can feel the air passing down the gummy wall in the upper back of your throat, your eyes are wet, it's still dark.

A nightmare, nothing but a nightmare, a ghost from the past haunting your being.

You sit up on your elbows, the sheets are soaked, your skin is beaded with sweat, as if your bathing in the worlds of dark dreams had accompanied you into reality. You bring your hands to your eyes, massaging them, caressing your cheeks and forehead to clear them of the film of sweat on your face.

You're not there any more, you remind yourself, and you're never going back.

Your shoulder burns, in fact, you feel as if your body is on fire, as if flames are licking at the underside of your skin, trying to melt your flesh and set fire to everything around you.

You quietly remove your blanket. You glance over at Sky's bed. She seems to be sleeping peacefully. Your breathing begins to settle, your deep gulps of air helping you to regain some semblance of calm.

And yet, with the committed fire with which your body burns, you tremble like a leaf in the wind. You feel like a dandelion tossed by the wind and afraid of losing its seeds. You feel so frail, as if you were made of crystal, of a very thin glass, and that you could break at any moment.

You need to centre yourself. Because you know that going back to sleep is not possible, you have experienced enough similar nights to understand that trying to go back to sleep is a waste of time.

You grab the handle of your bedside table drawer, fumbling in the dark before finding a torch. You didn't want to turn on your desk lamp and risk waking Sky.

As you turned it on, you noticed the time was approaching five in the morning. On other nights, you'd wake up much earlier, which wasn't very practical when you were working the next day.

In the quietest of ways, you grabbed one of the few bottles of essential oils given to you by Eris, applying them to your wrists and fingers to inhale the herbal scent. Blessed be peppermint and its benefits.

How to spend the time now?

Your eyes drift back to your bedside table, where your tarot card box sits.

Ah, that's right, the card to be pulled every morning.

So you take the box, its weight reassuring you, because everything you feel like you've been holding since you woke up seems to have the consistency of cotton candy. Between the smells of plants, you can make out the cardboard scent of the box.

You wedge your torch in your mouth so that you have both hands free, you remove the top part. The cards take up five sixths of the box while a small booklet is on the side.

In the centre of the back of the cards, a red flower with five petals fills a black square. Everything else forms a checkerboard of red flowers with green backgrounds and white flowers with black backgrounds.

You take the deck in your hands, wedging all the cards between your thumb, middle and ring fingers, preparing to shuffle them.

You do it as quietly as possible, so as not to wake your room-mate. At first, doing it silently is not very easy. The shuffling of the cards, the feeling of the smooth and varnished paper makes a sharp clap of air.

But miraculously, you manage to find an angle quiet enough to shuffle the cards discreetly. Once you consider the deck to be shuffled enough, this time you shuffle with an aim to get a card that will tell you more about your day.

A card comes out, flipping between the deck you're shuffling and the deck of cards in your right hand. You pick up the small booklet, looking for the card you had drawn: two of cups.

‘The card shows two people approaching one another, a young man and woman, exchanging cups and pledging their love for one another. A house involving domestic bliss and housework stands behind them, reflecting cohabitation. It is the card of the balance between the masculine and the feminine.’

Pledging their love huh ? Yet as you look at the card in your hand you get the distinct impression that the woman is frowning and displaying an emotion of displeasure rather than smiling like the bashful lover facing her.

However, this card had fallen in reverse, and you remembered that Eris marked a distinction in meaning when this happened in the readings. So you look at the next section of the booklet focusing on the meaning of the card in reverse.

'You feel lost and alone, you close yourself to others, you cannot share something of value to others.

At its essence, the reversed Two of Cups is about self-love. Love, in any form, starts with love for yourself. When you love yourself unconditionally, you accept and appreciate who you are, and you respect and honour the most authentic version of yourself. You welcome a life of happiness because you fundamentally believe you deserve it (and you're right!). When you come from this place of self-love, self-acceptance, and self-respect, you will have more fulfilling, loving relationships with others. It all starts with self-love.'

Well, that sounds like a lot of fun. 

Self Love, self love... You contemplate the card, wondering at first who represents whom on it. Maybe the next few days will bring you that answer.

A lovely start to the morning.

***

What. The. Fuck. Is. He. Doing. Here.

"What will be your order ?"

The sentence comes out of your mouth in a tense way.

When your alarm clock had finally gone off later that morning, Sky had woken up as well and after getting ready as you do almost every morning, you had told her your work schedule before leaving and wishing her a good day.

You helped to open the café as you do every other morning with the same routine. Washed your hands, turned on the lights, took the hibernation syrups out of the fridge, started the coffee brewing, restocked everything by filling up the hoppers, fixing the condiment stand, making sure you did not lack sugar syrups, sugar, straws and stir sticks. Your present colleagues had previously checked the quality of the beans while you had arranged the pastries and other sweets in the display cases.

Everything was impeccable, as usual, and your first customers had not been as unpleasant as you might have expected.

So why did Viktor have to show up as a customer with Jayce and Caitlyn sitting on a corner table.

"Do you work here?"

"No, I'm obviously a simple customer."

His sly smile raises the mole near his mouth. You clear your throat before reiterating:

"What will be your order?"

He lingers on the blackboard hanging behind you, carefully reading everything that was on display among the white chalk writings and the few nice little drawings of flowers and leaves made out of aesthetic choices to soften the customers.

"What would you recommend?"

"Bleach, or maybe hydrochloric acid will better suit your taste?

"I'll stick with a Mocha," his eyes drift to the pastry case, lingering on the jasmine tea scones. "I'll also have an Espresso and a Long Black." As you took down his order, he added, "And one of those scones."

“Will that be all ?”

“Yes.”

"To eat in or take away?"

"Eat in."

"I'll bring it to you soon."

"Thanks, and please don't spit in my drink."

"I wouldn't waste my saliva on such a low blow." You say before you get to work.

As you went about your duties, you cursed Jayce. You know for a fact that Jayce had insisted on coming to this particular café. Like any good engineering student, he was a coffee addict, and since he knew you worked at the Brown Bitt, he had become a regular since you secretly gave him discounts. And since he probably wanted you and Viktor to be on ‘good terms’, he brought him here.

You prepared the espresso, and then the Long Black, and then came the Mocha. You took a cup, scooping some cocoa powder in it. You poured hot water on it, just enough to make the mixture syrupy with a spoon. And while you were making the espresso and warming the milk, you thought of the lovely design you were going to make for him: a dick latte art.

But before you could achieve this magnificent plan, a colleague of yours came next to you. Not just any colleague either: Pearl.

Pearl was a vibrant woman, slightly older than you, and with whom you used to chat at lunchtime when she wasn't already chatting with a client about flowers and flower history.

She was a florist, and worked in this café to make ends meet. She created her own floral perfumes, and put on a different one every day. Each flower having a hidden meaning and carrying a particular message towards the one who receives it, she made sure that her emotions were correctly connected with her fragrance of the day.

" Well, your friend is bringing company," she said, leaning against the counter next to you, looking at Viktor and Caitlyn. " Would you introduce me? "

"I might disturb their conversation," you say, concentrating with your milk drawing.

"I'm a charming distraction though," she smiles. "Why do you always take the orders from the tall dark-haired guy, what's his name again? Jayce? Let me serve him next time."

"Because he's my friend I guess, and we'll see about you serving him, you'd be able to pour him a love filter, or spray him with a special perfume that would make you irresistible to him," you laugh, putting your little jug down before placing the orders on the tray, not forgetting of course the scone for the stick man.

"Anyway, you look tired today."

"Yeah, I didn't have a great night."

"Let me take two-thirds of your orders for this afternoon."

"No, that would almost be overtime for you."

"I'm sorry, but unfortunately that's not negotiable." she smiled. "Go and serve this delicious tray to your friends."

You loved Pearl, she was always bursting with life and joy and smiles that any sour customer would have dropped their bad mood on the spot. And with that overflowing energy, she was even willing to work double time just for the sake of working. She was rarely lazy, and when you came in with a more zombified face than wear and tear at the coffee shop, she'd make sure to take over for the afternoon so you could get some rest.

As you walk over to the table, you notice Caitlyn's charming smile. It was nice to see her, even if it was at your place of work, which didn't necessarily allow for long conversations.

"Ah, right when we needed you," said Jayce.

"Hello to you too," you breathed, "Hi Caitlyn, I wasn't sure how you liked your coffee so you can tell me what to fix for next time," you said apologetically as you served the long black.

Jayce usually had a single espresso, and since Viktor had taken the Mocha, the long black was probably for Caitlyn.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, I'm sure it will be fine."

Viktor looked at his cup, as if the design on his hot drink was absurd. Yet you had only drawn a simple classic tulip, not the phallic design originally intended for him.

Maybe he was just surprised that you didn't do any out-of-the-ordinary design at all.

"I didn't spit in it, put hydrochloric acid in it, nor rat poison in it, if that makes you feel any better," you mutter.

"What do you mean?" Jayce asks, but Viktor, with a simple wave of his hand, dismisses his thoughts. "Never mind, we just wanted to know what your options were for this year."

"Practice of Elemental Alloys, Cinetics and Practice of Machine Conceptions and Structures, Science of the Stars and Planets, and Stabilisation of Energies. You?"

"Great! We have two in common. "

"Let me guess, you took metallurgy?"

"How surprising that someone whose house is known for forging things and therefore touching metal," Viktor said as he blew on his cup, "your deductive skills leave me speechless."

"So I hope I don't have to listen to you talk again," you reply casually, the situation made Caitlyn smile and she was obviously amused by your exchange.

"Did you get the paperwork signed for the museum trip?" asks Jayce before taking a sip of his coffee, smiling to himself for the exact amount of ingredients he liked to be perfectly mixed.

Damn, the visit, you had completely forgotten. 

To start the year off on the right foot, the Academy had decided to organise a trip to the Museum of Great Inventions in Piltover during the second week of the school year. It was, in short, a strategy apparently designed to keep the students motivated, almost making them think that this kind of casual excursion would take place several times a year.

And although most of the students were of age and therefore the request for a parent's signature was not necessary, it was preferable that with the eternal tension between Zaun and Piltover the parents were warned of the places outside the Academy that the students were going to.

"No, I suppose I'll have to manage to take care of that by tomorrow night."

***

Her living room has always seemed as cold as it was warm. Burnt incense and jasmine perfume the air in the room, which is bathed in bluish darkness. Your gaze is drawn to the fire, its flames licking the wood in the grey stone fireplace.

These flames had always fascinated you deeply. Fire is usually enchanting, but this one added a dose of magic. Safphire, the fire with sapphire blue flames. Although the dried and salted wood found on the beaches was known to burn blue when lit, this wood was most common. Safphire was known for its famous violet smell that soothed those who were near it.

To your eyes, this fire looked like a real dying star, cold, yet burning and pale and beautiful.

Its icy, pale radiance shone on the bookcase walls, the armchairs and leather sofa in which you sit, the intricately patterned carpets and the curtains hanging wearily in front of the Academy's windows, effortlessly preventing the white glow of the moon from shining through the room.

You turn the thick biscuit in your hands, running your fingers over the dune-like waves of the almond pressed coarsely into the centre of the cracker. You took it from the flattened bowl on the coffee table in front of you.

Selene always had this kind of easy-to-eat sweet in her flat, bowls full of fruit and other biscuits. Blueberries, pine nuts, sunflower seeds, pistachios, almond and butter biscuits, and dried fruit she kept for herself or for special guests.

"We can thank Councillor Shoola for the delicious tea she offered me."

She comes into the room like a midnight cloud. Her dark auburn hair is tied back in a low wavy ponytail, her thin fringes almost falling into her green eyes. She wears a shawl that looks like a cut piece of a starry night: a thin, sparsely opaque indigo cloth randomly sprinkled with golden stones as big as kiwi seeds.

She had an aura as mystical, mysterious and wise as the room. She set down the varnished wooden tray on which lay two cups and a silver teapot.

Selene had been your tutor since you arrived at Piltover, and it had been a while since you'd actually visited her. It is the night before the first day of class.

"You always maintain your relationships with the council well, I wonder how you manage to put up with most of them."

Great astrologer, astronomer, magnetizer and lithotherapist, Selene was often asked by some members of the council. They would ask her for advice and she would give it to them by pulling cards like Eris did, reading the dregs of the tea leaves in their cups, sometimes in the first session she would read their palms.

But what they mostly asked for was their horoscopes, seeking guidance from the placements of the planets for their personal interests and so on.

You found it ironic, advisers taking advice themselves. The councillors were seen as all great and all wise, acting through voting, not imposition. It was mostly supposed to represent objective choices, and some were acting out of self-interest. But were these interests sincerely personal, or were they dictated by the stars for better and very little worse?

The question of choice seemed to be dressed in a different garb from her own, and whether the actions were really objective decisions or the influence of the stars was not easy to unravel.

"It's always useful to have a place on the council, even if you're not on it," she whispered, grabbing a rag and reaching for the teapot to start pouring the steaming tea into your cups. It smelled like summer: honey and white jasmine. "Anyway, it makes for some nice gifts."

"Speaking of gifts," you say before taking your cup next to you, "Eris gave me a Tarot deck."

She took her cup in turn once she had poured herself some tea, her eyebrows drawing in a 'tell me more' kind of way.

"She did a little reading for me a couple of days ago, I wanted more answers, so she gave me a deck."

"Which cards came out ?"

"The Wheel of Fortune, The Tower and The Emperor."

"Interesting."

"How so?"

"That I can't say, it's up to you to see how it resonates with you. Have you started to familiarise yourself with it?"

"Yes, I'm following the exercise she gave me which is to pull a card every morning and see how it relates to my day."

"Very good initiative, and what cards have you had so far?"

"Yesterday it was the Two of Cups, and this morning Five of Pentacles."

On the Five of Pentacles card, two people are walking in the snow with a church in the background with five pentacles in the centre of the stained glass window. The booklet stated:

'The disadvantages and difficulties of long-term relationships. The loss but not the end. Hope and salvation for those who see. The dark night of the soul.

A couple walk through a blinding snowstorm. They look weak and unhealthy. They seem oblivious to the warm glow of the church beside them. Salvation is there, if only they look.

You no longer feel safe because it has been all stripped away from you in one blow. Your ego may also be bruised, especially since success often correlates to financial wealth; losing either can be a humbling blow to your self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Similarly, the Five of Pentacles suggests that you fear you don't have 'enough' or you may lose something important to you - even if it hasn't happened yet or is unlikely.’

You had to admit to yourself that this description resonated with you. That security you no longer have is reflected in your results from the day before yesterday and your bruised ego.

"And you are able to draw conclusions from this?

"Getting to understand certain aspects is not yet evident."

"You will soon notice that there are certain redundant symbols in the tarot. By discarding the swords, wands, cups and pentacles, you can begin to associate other patterns on the cards with other features. I have an excellent book if you are interested.

"I am, please."

She blows on her cup gently, taking a sip before standing up and walking over to one of her bookshelves.

" The symbols are interesting." She begins, searching through the vastness of her books. "Wings represent speed, ascension, and inspiration, linked with the element of air and often found on intermediaries between humans and gods. Cloaks can be considered as transformation, protection and devotion, a garment often infused with the magical qualities of a magician or with the power to conceal a true identity. In the case of the Five of Pentacles, crutches mean support and healing, when snow on another hand for instance is the Crystalline form of water suggesting moments of intense transformation. "

All these elements touch you in some way. The wings that will allow you to move up in the rankings. The Cloak, the fabric that until now has allowed you to tirelessly hide all your secrets. The snow, glittering and endlessly forming new flakes melting on your thoughts and taking the lead for determination. And the crutches that brought you here, in this living room, to heal for a while...

"I've heard you have a roommate now, how is it ?"

"Oh yes, her name is Sky, she's very nice and sweet. I'm lucky to have found such a nice person."

"And... I heard that the results of the pre-exams are out?"

You take a deep breath, followed by a big sigh.

"You don't like the results...?" she said, continuing her search.

"I came second."

"And who is the unfortunate first?"

"His name is Viktor," you spit, biting your cheek before taking a sip of tea. "And I have a feeling that no matter where I go he'll be there, he's a real curse."

"What could be better than competition? Challenges sent by the universe are always the best to take, they are a change from the routine and bring movement to life."

"I don't want competition, I eradicate it like a weed. But I think I can expect this one to be tough and hard to uproot."

A silence took place, stretching into long seconds. You watched your tea, its amber colour glowing blue-green with the fire. Your thumb trailed lazily up and down the arm of the cup.

A distorted reflection, a moving mirror that showed you a different, deformed side of yourself with each movement. The tea was full of sincerity and reflected aspects of yourself that you didn't want to see anymore, but that persisted.

You wanted to break that cup, that malleable mirror that hurt you so much, to tear your hands to stuff the broken porcelain into your demons' mouths and make them swallow all the shards of your humiliation and shame.

"I had another nightmare."

These few words scraped your throat like a handful of gravel. Selene stopped her movements, turning to you.

"Which one?"

"Fourteen."

She picked up the textbook she had finally found, placing its brown leather cover on the coffee table. She came and sat next to you, patting her thighs, inviting you to rest your head on them. You comply, putting down your tea and gently laying your head on her lap.

Your eyes drift to the ceiling, which is usually navy blue, but in the darkness it is charcoal black. Painted with white shell paint, constellations stretch across its surface, some important names written in beautiful italic script.

After all these years, you can probably name all the stars or constellations. You have looked at them so much, traced them with your eyes, that you could draw this map again without a model.

The constellation of the butterfly pierced by the arrow of the warrior Arrok with its red star in the lower right wing, representing the scarlet hole of war that reaches the freedom and lightness of peace.

The eye of Fertelf, goddess of nature who had given her eye for Runeterra and allowed it to bloom forever. The star shone green.

Or the constellation of the mermaid, the compass of sailors and pirates who used to find it in the sky to navigate the ocean.

Selene brings her slender fingers to your temples.

"Loosen your jaw, you're all tense."

You follow her direction, trying to relax as she massages your face to loosen you up.

"Do you think you know why you had that nightmare?"

"Grade shock, probably."

She sighs.

"You don't have to worry about it, you'll be back on top in no time."

"That's the problem, what if I don't? What if that damn Viktor sinks me every time?"

"Don't keep that mindset, if you stay perpetually in doubt about your abilities, you'll never be able to afford to move on. Your shoulder is all rigid."

She had taught you early on, when the nightmares multiplied at certain times, that trauma tended to lodge in certain parts of the body. In your case, it was your left shoulder.

"And then keep in mind that you can still beat that Viktor in Astronomy."

"I'm not sure he's taken that option yet." You smile despite yourself.

"Whatever. It's a bit mean, but you can probably take comfort in the fact that you're probably better than him in it at least."

She had a position at the Academy as a teacher of Astronomy and all subjects revolving around stars and planets. She's the one who teaches one of the subjects you took : Science of the Stars and Planets.

"Anyway, tomorrow is another day. Who knows what the next week will bring?"

Selene was not wrong. The school year started tomorrow, who knows what the return to class would be like.

&lt;<<; Previous Chapter ——— Next Chapter >>>

[brainrotslushie]

boss baby family business thots

what you are about to read is a collection of not-so-sober notes i wrote down while watching Boss Baby: Family Business

content warning: reference to drug use, nsfw (i guess??? just,,, please don’t show this to my future employers), there’s also some thirst notes in here

bro oh my god time is a malewife and his wife is a girlboss

7-8 is a really weird choice for a character that thinks shes grown outta kid stuff. this kid’s got a road of gifted child burnout, crippling depression, and heavy fringking ahead of her

THEY”SE TAKING SHOTS AT THE FORST MOVIE HOLY GOD. “[the story\ didn’t really make a l;otta sense” “the jokes were good, right?” “mm.” 

thsi is the best thing since lion king,,,,,,,,,, or fat albert live action apaption

since ;the girl ( i forgot her name) has a portasit of her uncle just sitting at her nightstand i wanna see if she whas an enitre shrine dedicated to him in her closet or something

actually you know what fuck her and her permanent bella poarch smirl

oh my god i forgt tim’s brain ‘s still on acid trip mode in regard to his imagination so when i saw the wixzard toy come to life and talk to him i got scared and thought this was gonna turn into toys story but the apolcalypse of the toys

maybe tim’s been huffing something in the attic idk i’m not a mindreadre

why is he telling wisard to be quiet like he’s actually being loud? even though this is his imaginatoing right? mans hallucinations are gettin a little too real

YAYYY KID MOVIE SAID HELL

OWWHAWH FOGS KIDS MOVIE SCSARY

wait a just realizedif babycorp is actual thing then that means tim and his wife didn’t conveice him. *gasp* she cheated with jesus

yo why is grownup ted kinda,,,, sexy

WAIT RTED DOESN”T REMEMBRER BABY CORP NOOOOO

“i have a beautiful voice’ bithch you’re va is fucking alec balwdin

yo wait bro dude tee just jrememberaed life beofore death

wait the gilrl is cursed b;y that school cult>>> het her ouuta there!!!

there is someing very wrong with the writers for making me look at child nipples

NO OOOOOO TABITHA”S IN THE BABAY JAIL

i’m fucking sibbing rn

BOSS BABY FRIVE HELIPCIOPRTRE>>><????

THEY ARE SISSIFIED

how did the mom not ;not;ive  the hagning babies in her ceinging

HE PUT HIM IN A DRAWER

HE MADE OUT WITH A HORSE

SPIRIRT THE HORSE

if tims’ not the bloc that means he’s a beta cuckl

“don’t look at me” bitvh i wasn’t planning on it. you’re terrifying

why is the armstrong gouy’s smikle kinda,, sexy (sober edit: this note aged like milk, considering what happens later in the movie)

orgy

opra i meant (sober edit: i,, really don’t know why i wrote either of these)

guys guys guys the girl found the cure to cancer

OLD MAN BAY NO TEWHAT THE FUCK

old man  baby dowsnint’ even look like a baby he looks like a very short 40 year old

why does every child have bella poarch face

yeah get him steel his fucking nosd

these are white epople . why does their bootm lip dusappear when they smile

do why’s tim’s dad so hot

ARMSTRO:NG BABBY IS JECC BEZOS

who the fuck spread religion in tehis unvierse

children of the con moment

tabitha no one cares about yourrecital or whatever the fyck i forgot the plot

wait swhere did this music number vome froom

oh my god they’re drowning the boys

“it’s lonely at the top” - bossy baby. aka sigma male chad daddy

im fadin in and outta this movie

ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

HE”S KILLING THEM

HE SAID BIOMERS

it was at this point that i passed out. thanks for reading all the way through! hope you didn’t lose any brain cells along the way. i certainly had fun losing mine

[mamawolfblood]

Forbidden Flame 1

Iris and Mako though from completely different worlds come to find understanding. The two knowing it would be forbidden could not fight the ever growing spark between them. This ultimately forces Iris to choose Mako over her tribe.  Will the spirits prove to be right or with they crash and burn.

Name Iris Driftwood

Age 17

Looks 5ft9,135lb long white hair that  flows in waves spilling over her shoulder, soft lavender eyes tan skin. When she lived in the south pole she dressed like everyone else.  when she met the man she loved leaving the tribe she wheres a blue croptop with purple and white flame designs in the front, and black tights.

Water bender

Iris was like any other woman in the tribe. She cooked cleaned washed clothes. This was her day to day life to the point that her days started to blurr into the next. That was till she met Mako a fire bender that changed her life forever.

Iris is loving, gentle , can be at times spit fire, Slow to anger but mess with her family or the people  she has come to care for ,she will be colder than an arctic blizzard.

Name Mako Lee

Age 18

Looks ear lobe length black hair, topaz eyes, pail skin 6ft 144lb brod build with a light muscle tone. When Mako served on Prince Zuko's ship he was a lowly guard. (So you can guess the atire then) After meeting the woman he loved he started whering water tribe civilian clothing.

Fire bender

Mako was originally going to serve as the palace guard for the fire lord, but when her heard his father was going to be traveling with the banished prince. Mako asked for a switch given his father's advancing age. The fire lord saw this as it was a son willing to do anything for his father. He allowed it commending him for his loyalty saying he wished his son showed the same level of commitment as he does.  While on scot duty one rainy night Mako was thrown over board. He saw Zuko thinking he would save him but he doesn't. He woke up in a small hut with to beautiful Lavender eyes watching him. He knew this was the will of the spirits and fell hard for the woman that saved his life.

Mako is protective, quick thinking , soft hearted, quick to anger,  always ready to prove himself worthy.

Mako pov

It's been three months since I was thrown overboard. The water tribe of the south has been kind to me not because they want to...I understand why so many want me gone. Iris convinced the head of the village to let me stay if I work hand help around the village.

I mostly help patch tents gather fire wood and keep the fires hot. Though some have come to notice Iris and my behavior towards each other. I know its forbidden for us. I want to respect that but the spirits will is stronger than any man or woman to defy.

I found myself helping her fish when Sokka and Katara come back with some kid in an air nomad outfit. Wait could this kid be oh no what if Zuko is on his way here? "Get that kid out of here of at least in some water tribe clothing!" I yell knowing the danger these people are in.

"Hey you have no say here fire nation!" Sokka yelled in my face causing Iris to vome between us. "Lets calm down I'm sure Mako can explain himself. He has done nothing but help us. He isn't the whole fire nation just one man." She said making Sokka step back in disbelief.

"You fell in love with him didn't you? YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH ONE OF THOSE HEARTLESS MONSTERS! ARE YOU KIDDING ME IRIS HE IS ONE OF THEM! HIS PEOPLE KILLED YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER! THEY KILLED SO MANY PEOPLE WE CARED ABOUT! IF YOU SAY YES YOU ARE NO LONGER A MEMBER OF THIS TRIBE!"  He yells at her making me push her behind me. "It's not just her its me too. The spirits will it all we can do is follow it." I said readying myself for anything. In the matter of moment we were kicked out of the water tribe. Taking a boat with some supplies so we could leave. Sokka tried reasoning with Iris but if I cant do that then what hope does he have. "I wish you safe travels to wherever you are heading. You are a pack of two look after each other well." Sokka's grandmother said before hugging her then looked at me. "I know you ment us no harm and you will do everything in your power to protect her. Now off with the two of you be careful." That was that last thing she said before we set off. We made it out to the open sea when I saw something I was praying never to be there. It was a fire nation battle ship and it was heading for the water tribe. "I tried to warn them." I whispered knowing it was unlikely for anyone to survive. Iris huddles close to me scared. "It's going to be ok they won't do anything to us." I said holding her to my chest watching them as we went by. General Iroh spots me I shake me head with pleading eyes. He nods at me before looking away, little did we know at the time it was not going to be the last time we crossed paths.

[imnameim]

Day 249: I’m still embarrassed as fuck over bts and txt stans like it’s to a point we’re you don’t wanna say that you are one because HOLY FUCK THERE IS SO MANY TOXIC AND RUDE PEOPLE THAT LOVE TO TAKE THE SPOTLIGHT. Like why children why do you do this to your own fandom to other fandoms we all just wanna love our favorite groups and enjoy life like go hide in a corner🤡 I’m so done with my own fandom like why is it a crime to be multi Stan or whatever like chill out and stream a song or two

Truly. Like they make everything something I isn't. They out here thinking they're calling people out with their low blows when they are continually making them fandom look bad and keep living up to the name of being toxic. Literally 15+ accounts have told me to kill myself and more. I'm not gonna repeat it because truly it's disgusting. Like how old are you? Grow the fuck up. Listen for that matter. Don't get me wrong there are small groups in every fandom who act toxic yes but to the extent that you just jump in because people are "attacking" your faves is really stupid. If you are sitting behind a screen Anon or whatever the fuck you wanna call it mocking someone's death and the topic and issue of suicide and depression etc. I have not one ounce of respect for you or your fandom. Fans represent the artist. Artist represent their fans. Like if that's the path you wanna go down cool. But i don't have no respect for these fandoms. None at all. Instead of defending each other because we are all in the same fandom or because we Stan the same group you need to act like a fucking adult if you're gonna try and speak like one. Own your shit. Say what you did wrong. And put your own people in their place as other fandoms will do the same. Like logic is a thing.

But truly anon I'm sorry that it's that bad like really? What has kpop fandoms vome ro nowadays where literally everything in certain fandoms is a fight etc. Like you said stream a song or two and move along.

(this is no hate towards you Anon btw I completely get what you're saying)

[esafirmehyna]

Im always been down for the movement... in the last 10 years my focus has become stronger... for those who follow my work, you know its been over 25 years with the same work... empowering the barrios of aztlan by mobilizing homegirls to take back their community... im homored to have actually worked and trained and grown with real soldadas at my side... some will give me props, most wont... but I dont do it for the recognition... my heart is for this movement... when I can I involve my homegirls... and appreciate the love when I get it... im not the cookie cutter leader of a movement and because of my exterior I dont always get taken serious... but these last two years especially. That focus has been in making space for cholas in academia... when Id see work I knew we had to step in and make sure we were represented... chola culture isnt cholo culture.. and vatos can not speak on it... this is for the mujeres... mis homegirls... this was this past weekend. This is me preparing and working and hosting and moderating and being a mom... my kids roll with me... I need them to see that they belong in collegiate spaces. That they can be jefas and be true to their culture... #momlife #motherwork es todo... they came with me because they are my girls and because truthnis I cant always bring them with me... the truth is it takes a toll on my family.. that Im deep into my work, that Im always traveling, in meetings, away from them.... my husband... the downest man Ive ever met pays for it. And he 100% backs me up.... im blessed but its also hard work... it really is... this weekend was a dream vome true... this weekend we shoot the establishment, we rearranged what even brown sCHOLARs thought they knew... thank you antepasados, my comadres @laladymariposa @stoney.vaga @lady_soldada_de_chola_vida_ who hosted this life changing event and all the participants and organizers who came.... thisnonenis for this history books.. already being sited by scholars... thisnis what it means to be a chola.... here are some behind the scenes of my weekend... check out my makeup corner lol... my baby girls at the pool after a long day and my sister with my babies... https://www.instagram.com/p/COHsQZAJsjr/?igshid=nvlrzblk5awl

[some-bitch-named-destyni]

The Mad Machine

at this time of day, the day hasnt begun yet.

its silent, dark and still.

mostly like my state of mind. and where am i going?

what will i do, what will i forge from this mass of time yet to be had,

still forming in front of me. still begining to settle into exsistence..

the nights on her way about to be bourne into a breakIng light.

the dawn is close and from inside my blonde mind i feel the spirits settle into place.

the whole of life is getting ready. soon the sin will come

and the makers mark will be stamped into the heavens

illuminate the unseen reastless, the remains and on their way out

and then burning flames of fire 93 million miles out from where i sit here

waiting for this day to become alive

to be here, present, to breathe its first and take its first....

who is doing this for the last time .....who is waking one more six a.m. to make it to work

who will drink their last coffe in the next hour?

who hasnt finished things, they have waited their entire life to...

who will this measure of moment claim as it becomes viable, seeable, touchable in front of me

i see the bushes begin to wrestle, the sky begin to change, from black to dark blue, then mid blue

and its forming

its being born around me in the air im connected with here by opening up the door

opening up my soul to blend into the coming new day, to accept the hands of fate

to bargin one last time with chance and mental illness

the sun rises and the angels and demons flex and begin in motion all around and

life is happening one more time

to be greeted by one more opportunity to suffer

one more guarantee of smoke and focus and listess hours of no peace

no pride

no love

no reason

i have an itch as i feel the froming morning touch the tissue in my nerve endings and surround, swirl and sustain me in surreal understanding that im not stopping it.

no one is.

the day will be real in one hour. the time will arrive, and move and keep going and drag us all into its bitter cruel grasp , and then provide for the platform from which the undone, the unsatisfied forgotten and wasted therein suddenly UNbecome the essence of understanding higher concious, and regress to UNeternal, UNuniversal, UNable to continue as energy and BEcome disconnected from the oneness that life and all things are together..,seeing that this force of nature in harmony was always the beautiful lie bekieved by desperate sad fools to pacify our crushing weight of seperation by having been trapped in mortal skin and lend faith that only need be in place for the purpose of worsening the impact of truly being what we and all that can feel are and mean in our core...NOTHING. NEVER. no point, no divinity, no sanctity, and no where to go after the last breath as it settles in that there is no thing binds us all, because we exsist to simpl matter as least as we can be actualized into matteringl that, awaits, instead of the lie we will continue on in any remotely justifing pattern. its all here for nothing, we go nowhere.we find no ultimate value because in reality.... we are meant to experience and generate the lack of worth, the structure of pain from losing any significance. and in this stark realization....our exsistance of disharmony and violence regretfully Iver takes us.

me. overtakes me. fullfill true human nature and begin an afterlife thrived from the opposite of substance.

worst. the worst thingbu can think of or be told. its the only thing there, or that makes us, me, serve our function.........

im not stopping it. im not slowing it down. im not escaping it. u cant relax reality...u just cant.

and im able to tap into these natural certainties lately, see the dead still not departed, retain awareness that each new day is a new reason for the leaves to change, the wind to burn , the flowers to wither and the hands of hate to close strong around the hope this universe insists must

come

to

an

end

and i see the things aroumd me now the sun has begun to give creedence to the possibility.

tje worst of al, enemies . possibility. its inevitable. with every dawn, once again we vome back to attention just to be dashed uppn our graves like thpusand year old samd forgotten blowing lifelessly for eternity.

thats what today is. tjats all this day is. its what i, watching and feeling life force on us.

wothout tomorow, u would never be worse.

without tomorrow you would never lose again

without tomorrow u could just lie atill

without tomorrow you could just pretend

so each new experience in the change between the night and the dawn, i suddenly plug in

weather i want to, with the bees and bords and fox and geese and fish and ground and dirt and sound and thoughts about the family dead solhiers left behind when they died a thousand years ago...i plug into the other side, and see the truth of finality.

as we are here, every day is anothee reason to be terified and consu,ed with gloomy onsession.

and when we are gone, we stay like that forever . part of this mad machine

an eternal piece of the construct that causes chaos, brings happines to an end, makes certain all pleasure faded and grips us gentle hard enough our spirits leak the essence of misery fuel to keep the heels turning

i get plugged into this when the new oppotunity comes

every morning just at day break

maybe im getting closer?

maybe todsy is my day

maybe this is my last morning. my last coffee. my last post on tumblr.

maybe my parents will know the unhealing wound of living long enough to bury a child finally.

maybe im close, and i can feel it all like this because its coming closer now

in these mornings, im startimg to get close enough that i cam hear through the wall

that i can hear the other side...

when the sun is fully risen in a moment, i become fair game just like we all do.

and my chances may end. all that i am and ever was, ever did, ever thought, ever felt or loved or needed or lived or ,ade or gave or took or shared or wanted or hoped for

hoped for

maybe today, will be the day its all turned into half hearted recollection by someone i cant ever see or touch or kiss again

so let the sun rise now, as i can see its thoughtless intention on forcing one more day into the galaxy, and let it take full stance above us all.

and remain there clear and fixed, to show me, to show you, to show remind us all

of the sky doesnt look dark today...u arent looking hard enough.

if ull pay attention....u will see whats waiting for you in the echo. in the eternal. in the mad machine....

[deeppperwow]

Hi u who r reading this. I want to tell u something. Yes there is a picture of me and a picture of my #necklaces #bracelets and #rings. But there is a reason for those pictures. I haven't always wore those jewerly. I was at seventh grade when I really discovered them. First I had them only in one hand but then become more and this is the result now. The reason I use them is of course that I like them but also that for me it's a way to bring out my style. I know there are people who also wear a lot of bracelets but I don't mind. I have been at school for eleven years now. Yup it's a really long time and big part of my life. And I can tell u I haven't gone trough in the most easiest way. I was bullied for 4,5 years and at last year in elementary school my friends turned their back to me. My heart has been broken more times that I am able to count. And I still have problem to trust in people. I have been told that I'm shy and I live in my own bubble but u know what. I don't care. I don't give a damn about what people think about me or the way I am. I had to put my feelings away when I was bullied that the person wouldn't get a grip of me. Today I have most awesome people around me and I couldn't be more thankfull to them being my friends. I am not always the most easiest person to handle but I try my best to be nice and vome out from my bubble. This summer will be awesome and enjoy it. Love u guys #friends #love (paikassa Järvenpää)

[ddonggeun]

Sungjae's ViuTV interview

Q: How did you feel when you learnt that you got the role in goblin?

A: first of all, both the director and playwright of the show are eminent and very influential so i thought to myself "woah this is a very valuable opportunity". second is that the cast - gong yoo hyung, dongwook hyung, gooeun noona, ina noona - when i learnt that i will be working along with all these incredible seniors, I am very excited... i didnt worry the slightest (laughs) the only concern i have is that i am the one who is lacking... (since the other actors are so good) I am not worry about the drama rating

Q: can you share some interesting things that happen on set?

A: Because everyone is so experienced in acting, there are a lot of improvisation going on. I improvised too! If it is funny, it will get aired... an example would be there is a scene where i freeze. uncle shove a piece of bread into my mouth, unfreeze and then refreeze the time... that is an improvisation, we didnt practice that (cutely) everyone on cast acts so naturally so it is very comfortable to watch. (because all the actors and actresses are so good) i feel like i am improving even when i observe from the side, even when i am just looking at the screen. dongwook hyung in particular practice with me a lot. he also gives me a lot of advices like where should my eyes look or how should i approach the details.... he teaches me a lot! I had a great time filming the drama

Q: what do you think about yoo dukhwa as a character?

A: dukhwa is a very typical third generation chaebol. like many other rich kids you see in drama, he is bluff and he overspends. he is also kind of immature... but as the series goes, dukhwa eventually gets himself together and really grows as a person

Q: is sungjae a dukhwa in real life?

A: if i am to say what i have in common with him, i am rather bluff? I also overspend (laughs) so dukhwa and I are pretty alike?

Q: dukhwa is being seen as a fashionista, do you personally like fashionable stuff?

A: Of course I do! I go shopping when i have the time, I also enjoy collecting fashion items and attending fashion shows. Personally, i love wearing long coat and long sweaters, these are something that fits the character dukhwa since when your outer wear is long, it looks expensive~ like what i am wearing now, dukhwa wears many suits. since dukhwa is the youngest among the uncles, he has a insensible and playful side, which is shown through the casual wears dukhwa wears in some of the scenes.

Q: goblin's rating is doing so well, is there anything you want to do if it reaches a certain number?

A: I haven't! the rating has been so high and the show is loved by so many people, it makes rating promise redundant... since we are on this topic, i have an idea! If time allows, i want to come meet the fans in hong kong (viutv is a hong kong television station that is currently airing goblin)

Q: do you have any goals in terms of acting?

A: I am eager to try anything - not just limited to the roles that are normal and pretty, i also want to act out characters that are dirty, filthy.... not just in a cute way, but characters that are arrogant and clumsy... i want to be casted in a variety of roles

Q: what is the most difficult thing about being a singer and an actor at the same time

A: the biggest obstacle i came across with is time.... i feel like there is never enough time for me to use. i hope that there wouldn't just be 24 hours per day... if there's 30 hours a day, i feel like I can work harder and grow more... because i have two occupation going on at the same time, i will work harder to build a solid foundation and grow slowly. i hope to show everyone many more sides of me in the near future

Q: are other btob members watching goblin?

A: hyungs stay in touch with me every single day. they like to jokingly quote dialogue from the drama like "ah it is first love" when the weather is nice. hyunsik hyung is particularly obsessed with the show, he always posts about it on sns. oh, so is eunkwang hyung! when i return to our dorm, I always see him watching goblin alone with all the lights off... he giggles to himself while watching it (laughs) changsub hyung always contact me when i was filming, saying stuff like "do you want hyung to come play with you?" "do you want hyung to vome visit you?" but i feel like if he came to the set, i will be feel shy which is why i have been avoiding him haha

[love-me-more-forever]

Read comments too. Jealous can ruin everything, can lead your #relationship to a… https://ift.tt/2LscyQX

Read comments too. Jealous can ruin everything, can lead your #relationship to any #worst conditions. When two person are in strong relationship with each other and #share precious #moments with each other, they need to be careful from their common friend and should be more careful if the common friend is a girl. Now read carefully, ” when you was having lot of fights with your partner, abusing, taunts or so….and your common friend know all this. Despite of knowing the fact that she can very well sort out the fight but still keep on insisting that you both should end the relationship. That #common #friend could have told that you both come and meet in my presence and sort out all your issues……but she never once told to do all that. In infact she always keep on insisting to leave each other.” That common friend was also in relationship earlier too, but her relationship wasn’t fruitful…it doesn’t means that rest people should also don’t have fruitful relationship or shouldn’t be happy together. True friendship means to help the others sorting out fight which you very well know that you can help out. That common friend was never thought to be less than anyone else, but she only ruined your life, ruined your love. Its actually worst than death. WITH EVERY DAY PASSING, I DIE HUNDRED DEATHS PER MOMENT BUT I CANNOT EXPLAIN MYSELF NOR I CAN SHARE MY HEART WITH ANYONE BECAUSE THE PERSON WITH WHOM I FELT LIKE SHARING ANYTHING IS NO LONGER WITH ME. SHE NEVER ONCE UNDERSTOOD ME AND PREASSUMPTIONS LEADS TO THIS DAY. I WILL KEEP ON LOVING YOU. I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK. I JUDT NEED TO KNOW ONETHING ONLY AS TO WHICH PLACE ON THIS UNIVERSE I SHOULD GO WHERE SHE NEVER VOME TO MY MIND AND HEART. IF THERE IS SUCH A PLACE EXISTING, I WOULD LIKE TO GOTO THAT PLACE AND WANT TO FORGET HER. & IF NO SUCH PLACE IS EXISTING, I WOULD LIKE TO DIE WITH THE FEELING OF LONLINESS. SMILIMG DOESN’T MEANS U R HAPPY, IT SIMPLY MEANS YOU ARE PRETENDING TO THE WORLD THAT YOU ARE HAPPY BUT IN ACTUAL, WITH EVERY FAKE SMILE ON YOUR LIPS, YOU ARE CRYING LOUDLY UNDERNEATH. I AGAIN WANT TO SMILE AND LAUGH HEARTILY The Cycle Of #Envy: The Types Of #Women Other Women Will Always Be #Jealous Of #cycleofenvy *

The one with the #boyfriend Okay, so she has a boyfriend. You had one once, too, and you weren’t #perfect. You also have no idea what kind of relationship it really is. She may be settling, she may be going through his text #messages because he has a tendency to text her friends or maybe she’s #madly in love him and he’s going to break her heart when someone better comes along. #Whatever the case, she’s not #better than you because she gets to share a bed with someone on Tuesday nights, she’s just got what you don’t have right now. One day, you will have one again and maybe she won’t. One day you’ll be the girl in the passenger seat of his car as other #girls walk by and wish they were you. But #remember, in that #passenger seat, you’ll most likely be #worrying about something else, never #realizing you have what you wanted for so long and #thought would be the only thing you needed to make you #happy. The Cycle Of #Envy: The Types Of #Women Other Women Will Always Be #Jealous Of #cycleofenvy *

The one with the #boyfriend Okay, so she has a boyfriend. You had one once, too, and you weren’t #perfect. You also have no idea what kind of relationship it really is. She may be settling, she may be going through his text #messages because he has a tendency to text her friends or maybe she’s #madly in love him and he’s going to break her heart when someone better comes along. #Whatever the case, she’s not #better than you because she gets to share a bed with someone on Tuesday nights, she’s just got what you don’t have right now. One day, you will have one again and maybe she won’t. One day you’ll be the girl in the passenger seat of his car as other #girls walk by and wish they were you. But #remember, in that #passenger seat, you’ll most likely be #worrying about something else, never #realizing you have what you wanted for so long and #thought would be the only thing you needed to make you #happy.

Read comments too. Jealous can ruin everything, can lead your #relationship to a… https://ift.tt/2LscyQX

[affirmationtrain]

If someone accuses you falsely, for example, don’t get upset and try to justify your innocence to the point of acting in a manner that’s unbecoming for a Christian. Leave it to the Lord; He’s the righteous Judge, and will surely vindicate you. Just keep loving; that’s your role in the script. You’re born of God; His love has been shed abroad in your heart by the Holy Spirit who lives in you (Romans 5:5). That means you have the capacity to love as He does. . He said, "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another" (John 13:35). What a way to tell us from the rest of the world! Our love-walk is the primary proof that we love the Lord, and have passed from death unto life. Our ability to still put up a loving smile when others ride roughshod over us, pour invectives on us, or persecute us, shows that indeed, we dwell in Him and are walking in the light, as He is in the light. ~ Pastor Chris Oyakhilome. . . Kindly Follow @affirmation_train #invest #inyourself #walk #inthelight #choose #toloveallmen #be #like #your #heavenly #father #refuse #tohate #youaredeathtosin #and #alive #togod #youare #inchrist #newman #allthings #are #padtaway #behold #thenew #has #vome #glory #hallelujah (at Red Square, Moscow) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwL5lrcggA-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=jt80qmue86l5