#what happened to ppl just streaming themselves play games or like other stupid shit

[tariah23]

Literally…

[why-is-this-a-thing-now]

A Troll, A Human Wriggler, and a Fuck Ton of Monsters Ch1 Pt3

Boy is the Underground not a fun place for someone who doesn’t like puzzles. Now featuring more ppl than just kk, and a fight, here’s part 3! It’s a bit longer than the first two parts.

==>Proceed

Much to your chagrin, you are immediately confronted with not one, but two illegible signs as soon as you step through the door. One is actually a small wooden sign that has been handwritten and . . .  welded to the stone floor, you think? Eh, that just means that you were right to be on your guard – someone obviously inhabits this place, and it’s just a matter of time before you run into them. There are also three switches, and a row of spikes blocking the pathway at the far end of the room. You need to sit down for a couple of ticks before your all-consuming rage makes you do something stupid, like yell loud enough to alert your possible enemies of your presence. While you’re down here, you may as well check out the streams running through the room; they look like they’re made of water, but you’d much rather be certain before you step on any possibly collapsing bridges. You pull out an empty bottle of apple juice that you’re absolutely sure came from Strider, fill it with the liquid, and capchalog it. It self-labels as “bottle of water”, so it looks like you’re in the clear on that front. With that out of the way and no other ways to procrastinate in arms distance, you heft yourself to your feet and decide that it’s time to deal with the puzzle.

==>Solve

First, you walk immediately to the spikes impeding your path, grateful when you confirm that the bridges do not, in fact, collapse under your feet and send you into the waters below. You still don’t know how to swim, despite Jade and Dave’s instance that you let them teach you. Even though the spikes themselves aren’t quite high enough to fully stop you from maneuvering yourself over them, they appear to be surrounded by some kind of psi-field, more similar to something Aradia could do rather than what Sollux’s powers. With the easy method unavailable, you resign yourself to flipping yet more fucking switches, seeing as there doesn’t seem to be anything else for you to “solve” in the room besides them.

It takes you an embarrassingly long amount of time to figure out how to reset the switches, and you feel like the world’s most incompetent wiggler when you realize that you just need to exit the room the way you came and re-enter. On your second try, the spikes retract into the ground as soon as you press the second switch down, and you’re free to continue on your journey to get the fuck out of here.  

==>

The next room, to your immense relief, doesn’t appear to have any puzzles in it. Instead, there is something that appears to be a weirdly shaped mannequin of some sort, and a large white frog. When you entered, the frog and the dummy both turned towards you.

==>Converse

*Ribbit

You feel like smashing your face against the wall. Of course the first thing alive that you find can’t properly converse with you.  What the hell, you figure, you may as well dive bulge first into this stupid charade.

KARKAT: HI

The frog looking thing doesn’t react any further than letting loose another croak, but it seems jovial enough towards you, you guess. It hasn’t attacked you, anyways, and the weird face looking thing . . . in it? under it?? doesn’t look threatening. The mannequin just stands there.

KARKAT: I DON’T SUPPOSE EITHER OF YOU TWO KNOWS HOW TO GET OUT OF HERE, DO YOU?

Both of them continue to stare. This is getting you absolutely nowhere. You sigh and unequip your sickles; you really don’t think that these guys are going to strife with you, and you were starting to feel like a tool waving them around in casual conversation, ignoring the fact that your conversing partners were a weird frog and a dummy, neither of which actually speaks. The frog hops over to you, croaks a couple of times, and then tilts its head towards the open door leading further into the cave.

Huh.

KARKAT: ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT I HAVE TO SLOG THROUGH AN UNKNOWN NUMBER OF ROOMS IN THIS WEIRD UNDERGROUND JUST TO FIND AN EXIT?

*Ribbit

KARKAT: AND THERE’S ABSOLUTLY NO OTHER WAY TO GET OUT

*Ribbit

KARKAT: WELL FUCK.

You guess that was helpful. At the very least, it was about as helpful as a discussion with Dave when he feels like being an absolute douche. You still know fuck-all about how to get out of here.

The frog hops away through the door, and you pause to watch it go. You have no idea how it’s connected to the little rock-like thing under it, and your observations don’t help you one bit in figuring it out. Turning, you stare at the mannequin. It stares back. You guess you could say something to it before you leave, just to avoid being a complete asshole?

==>Initiate FIGHT

What. The. Fuck.

You have no idea what’s happening right now. You guess it could be a really weird form of strifing? But the mannequin hasn’t moved at all?

Looking at the four options you’ve apparently been afforded, none of which start with the same letter, weirdly, you try and figure out which you want to use. You could always fight, you guess, but if this mannequin can talk to the other things that live down here, you have a feeling that your journey would get unnecessarily complicated. You like to think that you’re at least a little smarter than Eridan when it comes to not killing things you’re not supposed to. You’re not sure what acting would do, but it may be helpful. Since you don’t really want to deal with your sylladex right now, especially not if this weird strifing format fucked with it, you leave the items option alone, and fuck if you’ve ever given up a fight before. There’s no way in hell you’re picking mercy.

You switch over to act, checking out your options. Your options are to check this guy, or to talk to them. You really want to know what this guy’s deal is, starting a fight with you out of nowhere.

==>Check the dummy

You Check the mannequin.

*Mannequin. 0 ATK, 0 DEF. It’s a mannequin, you think?

That was completely useless. You immediately try to act again, but you can’t.

The mannequin just stands there for a bit before you’re able to do anything. Ugh, you’ve never liked turn-based fighting, it reminds you too much of those FLARP games some of your friends used to play before the shit hit the whirling bladed device.

==>End this and continue on

You figure that you may as well do what you came here to do, fight be damned. You select Talk.

KARKAT: IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU, NOW LET ME GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

Your fight immediately ends, which surprises you, and you abscond the fuck out of there.