#what growing up poor does to mfers (both of us)

[moncuries]

gawd give me strength

[hugsandchaos]

Swagger Bishie headcanons (nice Dash AU)

• He’s embarrassed about it, but Dash likes to watch “little kid cartoons” with Danny, and Danny doesn’t mind it very much, he might end up actually liking the plot or complaining about all the plot holes, but he mostly doesn’t care much

• Dash’s love language is acts of service, and he’s a surprisingly great cook, so it’s not uncommon for him to make Danny a snack after a particularly long day, and he loves when Danny does things for him

• Danny’s love language is physical touch, which honestly surprises Dash a bit since he looks so mad and unapproachable 67% of the time and how he used to reject it, but now he’s glad to accept it

• Both are nervous mfers with zero dating experience (Dash can and will get lost in a trance ranting about how great he thinks Danny is, Danny’s internally screaming and trying not to explode whenever he talks about his growing crush)

• Dash fell first

• Both Sam and Tucker went “SERIOUSLY??!!” when he told them he think he’s fallen for the blondie and shook their heads, Jazz was supportive

• Dash also started falling for Phantom, did his best to ignore those feelings because he was determined to get with Danny, and was really happy when Danny told him (especially since he trusted him with the secret)

• Dash tried the mistletoe thing once, and only once, because Danny tried to set it on fire (he also discovered his apparent hate for the holiday)

• Dash may not always understand what he’s saying, but he loves it when Danny starts ranting about space

• Danny’s poor brain malfunctions when he’s held and kissed

• Soon after Danny ended up becoming the next king of the ghost zone (essentially a prince in the meantime), he got a bit of a wardrobe upgrade and showed up to a date wearing it (he thought he overdid it, but Dash was absolutely smitten)

•Danielle and Cujo both disapproved at first, Danielle because that’s her big brother, and Cujo because that’s the halfa he’s protecting

•There’s no way Danny didn’t introduce him to Clockwork and Clockwork was judgy towards Dash

[doubledyke]

idk why i have such strong lore about eddy's parents but i feel like i know these mfers

100% they are swingers

dad does coke on the not so down low

totally the types to cuss in front of their kids and don't care if their kids cuss "in the house"

mom is in a classic mlm (mary kay); has been known to use little eddy as a model to practice her make up skills/demonstrate products for clients - the shitty full coverage foundation almost looks decent on pristine toddler skin

nasty little white dog with tear stains once both boys are gone

make their own p0rnos

completely non-religious; the subject never comes up

they either lived in the trailer park or a tiny downtown apartment before eddy sr.'s big promotion- were pretty poor when they had bro

mom's family is italian, dad's side is irish - or vice versa, doesn't really matter

mom is friends with momma kanker - thinks the other wives in the neighborhood are uptight bitches; they kiki and chain-smoke/day-drink together

dad has a gay brother/cousin that he was really close to before he came out and was disowned by the family; feels that he was tricked and betrayed for whatever heterosexual reason; thinks this justifies his homohobia

mom is very affectionate with her boys (especially eddy), and definitely licks her thumb to wipe schmutz off their faces even into adulthood

both parents are extremely uncomfortable when serious emotions come up, and have no clue how to handle eddy's obvious behavioral/emotional issues; mom turns to food for comfort and figures the same will work for her sons

she feels guilty for what happened to eddy and has trouble telling him no or punishing him; dad's motto is 'boys will be boys"- that's a threat

dad has never uttered the words "i love you", and would only respond with a grunt if anyone ever said it, but that hasn't happened in years

dad really wants to pass on the family business to one of his sons, so he was pissed when his oldest decided to pursue a more artistic path; really lays it on thick with eddy that he's gonna be the one to take over some day

mom never graduated high school cuz she got pregnant and dropped out; worked a few odd jobs when bro was growing up but is now a full time stay-at-home mom... when she's not at spin class or the salon or attending some sort of direct sales function

[thenixkat]

Another thing that annoys me about Superman telling Booster Gold that he doesn't stand for anything other than making money (especially because Superman literally beat into Booster his beliefs that 'superheroes just can't go around helping people who claim to be oppressed without hearing both sides first/superheroes shouldn't interfere with politics') is because he's one of the few folks around who actually knows that Booster Gold grew up poor as hell before he came back in time to become a superhero.

Mfer got the nerve to be rude to Booster for wanting to have a little bit of luxury in his life after growing up with a family that was one missed rent payment away from being homeless, that Booster turned to crime to help bring in funds to make sure his family could afford to eat, didn't have to worry about losing their apartment, and could afford some needed health care.

Like so what Booster Gold uses his hero persona to do ads and modeling? He still actually does heroics and helps people.

[lexpressobean]

Thoughts on Kikaichu as actual Parasites.

Knowing how skin and the body generally works on a medical level, the "hive" aspect of the Aburame clan really drives me crazy. 'Cause parasites are real, obviously, but the size of Kikaichu beetles makes absolutely no sense in comparison to irl skin parasites. At least not in a bee hive sort of way lol

rambling because my mind craves logic and I'm specializing as a wound care nurse but it's literally anime so what do I expect lol

No, wounds don't freak me out, I'm more terrified of generally handling vomit and babies than I am a dehiscence of a 15cm long surgical site lol. The human body can literally take so much abuse before it really starts to give and try to alert you that you need help! And once you give it help, it really can come full circle to the wound 100% looking like it was never there. The body is an amazing thing <3

However the first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word "parasite" is always going to be "tapeworm". That's not gonna change. However, kikaichu are not worms and CERTAINLY don't grow that fucking huge or live that long. (A tape worm can live long enough to graduate with a fucking PhD. Can you believe?) I haven't been exposed to any urgent situations involving parasites yet, however, the one I would compare a Kikaichu to that is (unfortunately) also common is the scabies mite.

Very briefly, scabies mites (Sarcoptes scabiei) are technically a type of arachnid that grow no bigger than a bout 0.5mm in size, but CAN be seen with the naked eye if you're looking for them. They crawl around the skin and burrow specifically in the top layer of skin, called the epidermis. The epidermis is that protective layer of skin and can be between 0.5mm to 1.5mm thick depending on which part of the body you're looking at. After the epidermis, you have the dermal layer, which is where sweat glands, nerves, and capillaries are found. Scabie mites will not burrow that deep because they only burrow to lay their eggs and such. As they do this they can cause visible tunnels and other marks that can be mistaken for acne or other skin conditions if not properly identified. You'll most likely know because the itch is VERY BAD.

They're very easily spread by close contact and a scabies infestation needs to be treated with a prescribed pharmacological means.

However, kikaichu are definitely a lot bigger than 0.5mm. In the case of size, I would compare them at minimum to fruitflies/medflies, which grow up to 3-5mm and maximum to ladybugs 4-7mm.

3-7mm > 0.5-1.5mm... obviously. And the holes which Kikaichu swarm out of that the audience has seen before are about a size comparable Shino's nostrils, IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!

You're telling me those things were in his mouth?????????? S H I N O N O

That would mean, in realistic terms, the Kikaichu are fucking around in Shino's body to the bone and muscles and THAT'S A REALLY SCARY THOUGHT. Even just passing the epidermis to the dermis is alarming! Compared to the dry, protective epidermis that can and does take damage, the dermis can be 1-4mm thick depending on where you're looking and is where skin does it's business. All together that becomes 0.5-5.5mm of space BARELY big enough for a fruit fly do mess around in. It makes just enough sense in terms of THAT size, but last time I checked, having the skin penetrated to the dermal layer is just asking for infection to happen. You're first natural line of defense has been breeched, there's a pretty good chance you're gonna be bleeding (blood vessels) and general body fluids are going to be draining, which is bad for a multitude of reasons, and there's damage that gonna affect the nerves, and realistically this shit is going to be ABSOLUTELY painful if they're constantly manipulating those areas near nerves. These kinda of things CAN make new connections and things like that, sometimes damage is forever. (Case by case basis).

So my first thought to more or less "magically" solve the problem with anime logic, is that first of all, it's an anime and logic doesn't have to apply haha.

On a more sci-fi level, in which kikaichu are smaller than we've seen them shown, maybe they have been purposefully been allowed to burrow into the dermal layer of the skin at least because the blood vessels seem to be in direct contact with the chakra system. Kikaichu's prefered food is chakra, but they WILL mutiny and eat their respective Aburame from the inside out if they don't balance their chakra smartly. So it's safe to say Kikaichu are at least carnivorous as well, and so I only imagine these absolute nightmares would swarm their prey in the wild, and actively bite through and burrow into the body of the prey until they found the chakra system and went to town on that poor unfortunate soul. Eaten alive, how the hell did they "tame" them in the first friggin' place??

I like to think two things:

1) Kikaichu are passed down from parent to child, and the parent has control over the Kikaichu until they have been RIGOROUSLY trained for generations to comprehend that this baby/child isn't food, it's a new hive. If bees can comprehend time, Kikaichu can comprehend what an Aburame is. If they insist on trying to drain the babe or the babe just can't tolerate them, the parent takes the Kikaichu back and the babe is assigned another insect or position in general. Like hell they're gonna try to force a relationship like that.

2) As part of the successful symbiotic relationship, Kikaichu regularly debride the tunnels and borrows that they carve into their respective Aburame, and are naturally intuitive in avoiding as many nerves and blood vessels as possible. The chance of infection is never 0%, however, kikaichu are pretty good about taking care of their tunnels, and so it gives the Aburame more time to focus on their things, like increasing the amount if chakra in their system. To ensure that they stay healthy, Aburame are encouraged to eat as much protein and Vit C possible every day, whether it be meat, beans, lentils, eggs, oranges, tomatoes, or even supplements as times modernize. The dermis is living tissue and as long as debridement/tunneling is going on, it needs to be nourished as much as possible.

I don't know how the hell Aburame deal with the obvious drainage that would be coming from their bodies, assuming the dermal layer really is free game for the Kikaichu. But the magical solution is that... they don't? Because... drainage is minimal. The Kikaichu just do such a good job lol. Maybe they purposefully... carve entrances to be flappy, or they purposefully create pocket spaces underneath seemingly healed areas of skin to easily burst open when necessary. That's the biggest thing for me, leaking body fluids. There's no way around that shit besides straight up denial lol Maybe they wear a special kind of dressing underneath their clothes, or that's directly applied with their clothes. Maybe that's what that cute little backpack is filled with, who knows!!

Idk man. I'm sure the Aburame authority forces encourages many of their non-hive members to pursue medical nin training in order to give the clan more privacy in general too. All medics that claim the Aburame name are exclusively used by the Aburame Clan. A non-Aburame medic may end up healing tunnels and burrows that were meant to stay open because "oops" and now you have an X amount of insects possibly suffocating within a completely sealed pocket of the skin, and also now there's a very good chance that after those insects die, that whole area is gonna frickin' abscess and cause infection induced tunnels the longer it's left alone and GROSS THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! THERE IS A DELICATE, ORGANIZED, SELF-SUFFICENT PROCESS TO ALL THIS!! A PROCESS!!!

Like... the other ninja in the NartVerse can make as many jokes, jabs, and comments about the Aburame as they please (INO? BITCH??? but to be honest I still love her lol). But these MFers are constantly playing Russian Roulette with these high maintenance demon spawn from hell, and there are VERY little defences against Kikaichu, virtually none. Like the only thing I've ever seen actively thwart Kikaichu across all media is killing them with mass fire, countering them with large amounts of poison gas (both very exterminator like) or literally just feeding them chakra until they're so stupid full, they can't move, the little gluttons. As far as genjutsu, it's been stated that it's both effective and ineffective, so idk about that. But the Aburame are just SO set up to be the living breathing embodiment of Shinobi as defined by the NartVerse. They're whole clan culture relies on the threat of enemies. If they have no enemies, the whole relationship is an exhausting endeavor for literally no reason. It's not worth it if there's no one to fight or protect! But when there is a threat, you want them on YOUR side.

I suppose the best bet is to incapacitate the Aburame individual asap and the Kikaichu will tend the individual, making escape easier. But, if you DID manage to kill that Aburame right away, that particular Aburame's swarm is now suddenly without its food source and without restraint.

What do you THINK is gonna happen, bro?? The second an Aburame loses their grip on their consciousness due to external influences, the bugs go bonkers because I'm pretty sure Kikaichu are simply persuaded to be in this relationship and have NO tolerance for bullshit like alcohol and overheating temps. If their Aburame dies, they probably cause just as much chaos as they would as a wild, unattended swarm. Then YOU BETTER HAVE fire or poison gas or SOMETHING handy. The only way to calm them down is to offer them chakra and a new host with equal or even more chakra reserves. Otherwise the mutineers must be eradicated.

And for serious... Like, any deeper and the kikaichu would be in the hypodermal/subcutaneous layer of the skin and that's where a lot of connective tissue is located. Let's NOT mess with that shit, shall we? NOT a good idea. It's called connective tissue for a reason first and foremost...