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annabethy · 4 years ago

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under the mistletoe, watching the fire glow day 24: christmas carols

Character A doesn’t feel the Christmas spirit but Character B, who lives above them, keeps playing Christmas carols really loud,, percabeth

Annabeth has never been one to thoroughly enjoy the holidays. She doesn’t necessarily have anything against them, but they’re just not for her. They never have been, for as long as she can remember.

She didn’t get any presents when she was little. Her family did the bare minimum for Christmas. There might have been a tree with the blandest decorations, but that was it. So she grew up with a rather distasteful opinion towards Christmas too. To be fair, it’s more to do with her family than the actual holiday itself, but there’s an association, and now she can’t stand either.

That’s why she decided to move away from California as fast as possible. She graduated high school and booked it, not looking back since. And it was difficult surviving in New York City without any financial support, especially as a college student, but she managed. She worked hard and found a decent apartment.

Or she had thought she found a decent apartment, but there’s ear-shattering Christmas carols playing above her head that cause her to rethink that particular detail.

“You’re kidding me,” she mutters as another starts to play. It’s not even muffled – that’s how loud the music is, and she genuinely doesn’t understand how another person can be so oblivious.

She tries to brush it off for the better part of an hour, assuming that someone else would ask them to shut up, but nothing happens. If anything, it gets worse because the Christmas carols get louder and more unbearable.

An hour finally passes and her willpower fades.

Annabeth tugs on a jacket and slides her feet into the first shoes she sees. She’s vaguely aware of moving around with much more aggression than the situation calls for, but now the person above her seems to have started singing along, and she thinks that violence is the only language this person understands.

It only takes a few seconds of knocking at their door before it swings open. The person she now knows is a guy has a smile on his face that quickly falls when he takes in her own face.

“Hey,” he starts, eyes roaming her face. “Are you okay?”

“Actually, I’m not,” she says. “I think my brain may be hemorrhaging.”

She can see his face morph into confusion. His green eyes actually look a bit concerned for her as he scratches his neck. “What do you mean?”

“Your music is so loud it’s making my brain bleed,” she snaps. “Can you just, you know, have some consideration for those around you and turn it down?”

“My music is too loud?”

“It’s giving me a headache, so I don’t know how you haven’t gone deaf yet.”

“But… they’re Christmas carols.”

“Yeah, I was able to hear that. Because they were loud.” “You don’t like Christmas carols?” He asks it with such passion that she thinks he’ll be seriously offended if she says no.

“I think Christmas carols are a disgrace to humanity.”

He actually gasps, a hand over his heart, but there’s a subtle grin on his face that lets her know he’s only messing with her. “I am so sorry for you.”

Annabeth’s jaw drops slightly. “Sorry for me? I’m sorry that you have horrible music taste.”

He holds his hands up in mock surrender. “You don’t even know me, so how could you possibly know I have bad music taste?”

“I’ve been listening to you blast music for an hour, so trust me when I saw I know.”

He laughs. “Come on, you have to at least give me a chance to prove you wrong.”

“Prove me wrong?”

“To show you I have amazing music taste, and that Christmas carols are the best things to exist.”

She watches as his eyes trace over her, and she can practically sense the approval in his eyes. It makes her heat up just a little bit, and she crosses her arms over herself. “How do you plan on proving that to me?”

“You could come in and I will give you a three hour long monologue about the history of carols and their importance to the Christmas culture.”

She blinks.

“Or you could come in and help me make a gingerbread house while singing Christmas carols with me,” he suggests.

“You’re inviting a stranger into your apartment? What if I were a serial killer?”

“Jokes on you because I don’t have any cereal in my apartment.”

It takes her a moment to get the joke before she snorts at its pure lameness.

“At least let me make up for destroying your brain,” he says, opening the door wider.

“I still don’t know your name.”

“I’m Percy,” he says as though it makes up for everything else.

He’s funny, she decides. “Annabeth.”

He lifts the side of his lips in a lopsided smile. He doesn’t say anything else, simply stepping aside to let her in. She can’t believe she’s actually considering walking into a stranger’s apartment, but then she remembers that he was blasting Christmas carols, so how dangerous could he really be?

She walks inside and the music seems to increase tenfold. He goes to lower the volume from his phone, and it offers immediate relief as the pounding in her eardrums stop.

“Is that better?” he asks.

“The volume is better,” she says, “but the music is still abhorrent.”

“You take that back.”

Annabeth laughs softly as she joins him at the counter. There’s a gingerbread house out and in complete shambles. There is also piped frosting, and it gives her the impression that this is not his first attempt at this.

She looks up at him and finds his eyes already on her. It’s not in a rude way — he seems to be more intrigued by her than anything, and she doesn’t blame him. They’ve lived right next to each other, yet they’ve never met before. She’s just as fascinated by him and his distasteful melodies.

“You wouldn’t happen to be good at gingerbread houses, would you?” he asks, hopeful.

“Actually, I happen to be a competitive gingerbread house maker.”

“Really?”

“I’m an architect,” she tells him, twisting the plate with the house on them. “And I make a mean gingerbread house.”

“Please help me.”

“Why do you even need to make this?”

“I was bored because all my friends went home for Christmas, so I figured why not make a gingerbread house except I can’t get the sides of the house to stick for shit.”

“Enough said.” With that, Annabeth ties her hair up in an impromptu bun, grabbing the frosting from the counter. She truly did not come up to his apartment with any intention other than to make him feel pain for the suffering he’s caused, but then he presented her with this challenge, and she just couldn’t resist.

She certainly didn’t intent on liking it in his apartment either. He’s super kind she learns quickly. He offers her a helping hand and complements her every move, and he’s generally a very inclusive person. He asks her questions about herself and seems to be genuinely interested in her answers. It’s subtle, but in the back of her mind she thinks that she really likes him.

It’s mortifying that it happens in the span of one night, but even the three hours spent with them attempting to piece together a masterpiece (and baking more pieces at Annabeth’s request so that they can recreate a mansion) she finds herself laughing more than she has in months.

“I can’t believe you’re actually this good at making gingerbread houses,” he comments, leaning in close as she pipes an individual icicle onto the roof of it.

“I’m not sure what you expected from an architect.”

“Yeah, but… the person who just happens to come so they can murder me is exactly who I needed. You know what they call that?”

“Coincidence?”

“A Christmas miracle!”

She rolls her eyes, setting the icing down. “I’m only here for the decorating.”

“And because I need to show you that Christmas music is a blessing,” he reminds her. “It’s not possible.”

“It is, actually, because while you’ve been decorating, you’ve also been doing this little dance.

She freezes, just now realizing what she was doing. “I have not.”

“You have,” he says. “It’s cute.”

“I would simply never dance to Christmas music because I hate Christmas.”

“What reason could you possibly have for hating Christmas?”

“I never got to put the star on top of the tree.”

“Is that it?” Percy rolls his eyes. “You can put the star on top of my tree.”

Annabeth’s heart immediately jumps up, and she can’t stop the smile that spreads across her face. It’s so silly, putting a star on top of the tree, but it’s made her so excited for some reason.

“Do you want to?”

“It’s okay,” she says, keeping her voice steady. He smiles softly, grabbing her hand and dragging her away from the kitchen counter. His tree is small in the corner of the living room, and it’s mostly decorated. There is a box of ornaments sitting on a table besides him that lets her know he just hasn’t gotten the chance to finish decorating, and the star is beside it. He picks it up and hands it to her, an amused look on his face.

“Here,” he says.

She crosses her arms. “I’m not doing it if you’re going to laugh at me.”

“I’m not laughing at you!” he assures.

“You’re laughing right now.”

“Because it’s adorable. Come on. Please?”

She gives him a last look before setting the star on top of the tree. It’s a bit taller than her so she has to stand on her toes and lean over it, and he steadies her with a hand on her waist. She takes a step back to look at it. It’s a bit crooked, but as she goes to fix it, he stops her.

“Leave it. It’s perfect.”

“It’s crooked.”

“That’s the point of Christmas! It doesn’t need to be perfect. It’s supposed to be warm and fun and leave you with that fuzzy feeling.”

Annabeth definitely feels that fuzzy feeling, but it’s not from the tree. It’s from the look he’s giving her that makes her face blush.

“You’re not going anywhere for Christmas, are you?”

She glances at him. “No. Why?”

“I just assumed because you said your family wasn’t the best. But I don’t think you should be alone for Christmas.”

“You’re alone for Christmas,” she points out.

“And I was trying to blast music to forget that little fact. It wasn’t working very well, but now you’re here!” She smirks.

“I think you should come over tomorrow so that neither of us have to be alone on Christmas.”

“I don’t want to intrude, Percy.”

“You’ve been here for hours now, and I’ve loved every second of it.” He elbows her lightly. “Come on. We can even make another gingerbread house.”

“I do love making gingerbread houses,” she says with a smile morphing into her face.

“Also I kind of like you.”

“Even if I came here with the intention of yelling at you?”

“To be fair, you did yell at me. I just thought you were cute and invited you in anyways, and you came in so you must also think I’m cute.”

“I think there might be a flaw in your logic there.”

“But am I wrong?”

She doesn’t answer because he’s not wrong. He’s sweeter than frosting, and he’s looking at her with such adoration that she really doesn’t want to leave and be alone on Christmas. Now she doesn’t have to.

“I’ll stay,” she playfully concedes, “if you really want me to.”

“I do.”

“But only on two conditions,” she says.

“And what are those conditions?”

“One, you have to put on some good Christmas music.” “What do you mean good Christmas music!”

“And two,” she starts, laughing at his bewildered expression, “Kiss me.”

That gets him to laugh, throwing his head back. “A kiss?”

“A kiss,” she confirms. “After all, you think I’m ‘cute.’”

His fingers curl around her waist. “You’re very cute. My cute neighbor.”

“And if you kiss me, then… maybe it can be more than just a cute neighbor.”

She knows she’s pushing her luck, but she’s always been good at reading people, and she can read him. She knows he feels the same thing she is. His eyes burn bright.

“If you say so,” he whispers, pulling her in and kissing her hard. It takes her breath away, and she wonders how she’s missed someone right in front of her.

Hours earlier, she’d been upset that he was playing music so loud, but now…

She’d never tell him, but she thinks she might like Christmas carols.

#percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #my writing

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imgoingtohellsofuckit · 4 years ago

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Christmas Cookies

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings - uh none?

summary - Reader tries to convince Spencer that christmas isn’t all that bad

Spencer was all about Halloween. The costumes, the decorations. He loved every single part of the holiday. He was having the most fun on Halloween enjoying his traditions. However, like most Halloween people he didn't exactly love Christmas. And his girlfriend is more than happy to help change his mind about the holiday.

"Isn't this all a bit much?" Spencer asks as you balance yourself on one of the dining room chairs to try and hang the stockings. "I mean it's just gonna be us."

"That doesn't mean we can't enjoy ourselves," You tell him. She smiles lightly as she steps off the chair to look over your work. "Alright, do you like it?" He smiles lightly.

"Yeah- you do know there are no written records of the origin of the Christmas Stocking?" He tells you. A dorky smile across his face. "people have tried to write the legend or match stories up to explain the lore- the most accepted one is about St. Nicholas wanting to help a poor family but because the father was so stubborn he couldn't just hand over anything to help. So he dropped gold into stockings that were hung by the fireplace to dry." You nod along to the words. Enjoying the fun fact.

"And now they are normalized for most countries," You add, "well- do you like these? The embroidery kinda got a little sloppy." Spencer gives you a soft comforting smile.

"I love them," He assures you. You nod lightly. Moving back to the tub of decorations. It was mostly leftovers of things that just didn't fit with everything else. "It's very winter wonderland in here."

"I love it," You smile, "alright I'm gonna start making cookies- which do you prefer chocolate chip or sugar cookies?"

"Sugar Cookies are more seasonal," Spencer starts, "am I supposed to be helping you?"

"Yes spencer," You tell him. He chuckles. You move to take his hand. Pulling him along to the kitchen. He groans slightly. Once in the kitchen, the two of you start pulling the ingredients out of the pantry. These were clearly your addition to the household. Spencer maybe cooked a handful of times and year and he baked even less than that. So when you moved in you filled the shelves with things to make it almost seem like the people in the house take care of themselves. You both set everything on the counter. "Alright let's do chocolate chip first- they are easier to make anyways."

"Who decided that?"

"Me- why Spence are you gonna argue it?"

"No no just wondering," He says as he pulls down the mixing bowl, "this thing hasn't been touched since my birthday."

"Is that your way of saying you want me to bake more?"

"I mean I wouldn't be opposed," He says chuckling lightly, "it's always a good time for cookies made from scratch." You nod as you grab the measuring cups. "I mean if it isn't too hard."

"Maybe I'll make more but only because you're cute," You say as you pull his hands into yours, "and I love seeing that smile." He chuckles lightly. You move to pull him into a quick kiss. After you break the kiss you move to start measuring out the flour. "Do you have something else you want? Maybe something to take to work with you?"

"We work together-"

"I know that but you travel- I just sit with Garcia," You tell him, "if you don't want any that's fine I just figured I'd offer-"

"No no- I want some," He assures you, "maybe those pumpkin cookies? I know you only really make them around Halloween." You nod lightly. "But they are my favorite."

"Pumpkin cookies it is," You tell him pouring the sugar in, "but I'm sending you with Peppermint candies. You'll have something festive." He chuckles. "I'll make you like this holiday damn it."

"By buttering me up with sweets?"

"If that's what it takes," You say at once, "can you hand me the chocolate chips?" He moves to hand them over. You add them into the bowl then hand it over to Spencer to stir. He takes it and moves.

"I don't know why you always give this to me it's not like I'm any stronger than you," Spencer says as he starts to stir the dough, "it's counterproductive."

"It's busywork," You tell him, "when you do stuff like this I get to hear you talk and I love listening to you talk." He smiles lightly. "So pretty boy tell me some more facts?"

"Alright- Modern Christmas cookies can trace their history to recipes from Medieval Europe biscuits that's when many modern ingredients such as cinnamon, ginger, black pepper, almonds, and dried fruit were introduced into the west," Spencer starts, "the 16th century they were popular around Europe. Each country tended to have one traditional biscuit. For Germany, it was called that Lebkuchen. It's mainly made from honey-"

"Oh speak more Germany to me, love," You say with a bright smile.

"Oh you're testing my knowledge," He says running through his thoughts to remember the translation. "Ich denke, du bist so schön." You smile. Not knowing what the words mean but just knowing that you love watching Spencer like this. Watching him show off how smart he is. Other people thought he was a show-off when he did this. You always loved watching him use that big brain of his. "Wanna know what it means?"

"Hmm depends."

"On?"

"If I'll think it was more romantic when I couldn't tell what you were saying," You tell him.

"I said that I think you are so beautiful," He tells you. You smile at the words.

"Thank you, Spencer- but that sounds like you're trying to score," You chuckle. A cocky grin covers his expression. You move to pull him closer to you. Tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. "Is that what you want? To get in my pants, pretty boy?"

"Well, I'm never opposed-"

You chuckle loudly. Turning back to start placing the cookies on the baking trap.

"Think you can take over this part?" You ask him. He nods. Lining the trap along with the balls of cookie dough while you start on his pumpkin cookies. "can you hand me the flour Spence?" He moves handing over the bag. You give him a quick mischievous smirk as you grab a pinch full of flour and toss it at him.

"Really?!" He asks at once, "and you call me a child."

"You look so pretty- even covered in flour," You chuckle.

"Hmm let's see if that works both ways," Spencer says. He moves to grab a whole fistful of flour and tosses it over at you. You chuckle in a slight offense as you attempt to wipe off the flour from your clothes. "Beautiful even covered in flour." You roll your eyes lightly as you move to dump the cup of flour into the second mixing bowl. "You wanted my help love."

"Oh, I'm enjoying this," You tell him, "you having holiday fun. Absolutely amazing." He chuckles lightly. "wanna get those in the oven?"

"Sure," He says. He places the tray into the oven. Moving to set the timer. He turns back to see you working on getting his pumpkin cookies together. "I'll wash the bowl so we can work on the sugar cookies next."

"Doing the dishes- wow Spencer that is seriously hot."

"I do the dishes!"

"I never said you didn't- but by the way, I do them way more than you do," You say as you stir the dough, "you think the waters gross so you whine-"

"I wasn't whining-"

You nod lightly. Moving to cute the cookies into the shape of sweaters. Hoping to add some festive flair to them. Spencer moves placing the now clean mixing bowl onto the counter. He starts on the sugar cookie batter.

"Sweaters huh?" He asks.

"Like little Christmas sweaters- or your little sweaters," You tease. He nods. A light smile across his face. "I assume you remember the recipe?"

"Even if I didn't have an eidetic memory with how many of these we had to make last year I don't know how I could forget," He says as he moves through the recipe. You chuckle lightly.

"Hey all of our coworkers loved it," You point out. He nods lightly.

Last year the two of you made about 10 batches to hand out around work. It made your coworkers day. Plenty of smiles and laughs with the baked goods.

"Besides stuff like this means I get to spend more time with you," You smile.

"Always a good thing," He says moving to start stirring the batter, "why haven't we got a mixer yet?"

"Because I asked you for a mixer for Christmas," You chuckle lightly, "besides we always forget how much we want one until we bake anything which is only on birthdays and holidays."

"Okay well- I'm going to make sure that you get your stand mixer," He chuckles, "mostly because I hate all of the mixing." You laugh loudly. "But also because I love you." You roll your eyes playfully as he sets down the ball of dough. He moves to roll it out to cut out the shapes as you set the second batch of cookies in the oven. "Do you want more facts about Christmas cookies?"

"How dare you even ask- of course, I want more Christmas cookie facts," You say as you turn to Spencer. He laughs lightly. Always excited to share is knowledge. Especially when someone wants to know. Even more so when someone as beautiful as you asked.

"Gingerbread originated in the Crusades and was originally made using breadcrumbs, boiled with honey and seasoned heavily with spices," He starts, "It was pressed onto cookie boards which then was nothing more than carved slabs of wood with religious designs and dried. People were said to only be allowed to make the cookies themselves around the holidays because the rest of the year laws restricted its baking to guildsman."

"Guildsman?" You ask, "hmm well I guess that's one way to protect jobs. And cookie boards- kinda like cookie cutters."

"Yeah, that's how it evolved," Spencer tells you, "cool right?"

"Very," You tell him, "God I love that big brain of yours. Seriously Spencer." He gives you a big smile. You move cupping his cheeks.

"You love my brain?"

"I love all of you," You tell him, "but I adore your brain. I love listening to you talk."

"I knew you were perfect," He teases. You laugh lightly as you move into his arms. He wraps them around you tightly. "I love you so much."

"I love you too Spence," You tell him. He moves to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"Du bist die Liebe meines Lebens," He says softly.

"Mm, what does that mean?"

"You are the love of my life," He says quietly. You smile moving to pull him into a soft kiss. His hands fall to your waist. Placing them carefully. Making sure not to move them without permission. Your hands tangle in his hair. Pulling him into an eager kiss. He moves backing you up against the counter. Careful not to be too forceful that he hurts you. Still, he takes the chance to deepen the kiss.

You move back at once as the timer blares. You move to grab the cookies from the oven at once then shoves the other tray inside. Spencer helps set them on the cooling racks. Y/n chuckles as he yanks his hand back.

"Spencer, you okay?"

"Yeah the cookies are hot- you think I would have known that." You both chuckle lightly. He smiles. "I've got another cookie fact-"

"Oh well, please share my love," You tell him.

"Another place in history where we see the cookie shapes being significant for the holidays is in colonial areas where the Church of England was influential. They call it mumming Christmas stories were acted out and food was used to help depict the stories," He explains, "am i boring you?"

"Not at all," You reply as you watch him carefully.

"Alright well in the 1800s, Pennsylvania Dutch children created large cutout cookies as window decorations now they were made with tin cutters and shaped like people, elaborately decorated with icing the closest to gingerbread men since they weren't religious," Spencer explains.

"We should make gingerbread men then," You tell him, "go traditional... Spencer, we could make gingerbread cookies of ourselves!" He chuckles lightly.

"That's dorky-"

"You're calling me dorky?" You ask him, "really? Are you kidding me?"

"It's dorky!"

"You break my heart," You tell him, "we could make gingerbread people for all of our friends. Tell me that wouldn't be adorable."

"Yes it would be cute but I don't even think we have the supplies for gingerbread cookies-"

You look to him pouting lightly. He sighs.

"I'll run to the store," Spencer gives in.

"Thank you, baby," You say brightly.

He's quick about getting to the store. Working through the aisles quickly to gather everything his girlfriend needs.

"No Penelope he's at the store," You tell the blonde on the other line, "gathering cookie ingredients."

"Oh baker Reid," She starts, "awe I love when you two bake. You always get such cute pictures."

"And it's so nice to spend time with him," You tell her, "normally we get days like this every couple of months at best... I'm waiting for JJ or Hotch to call me and ruin my fun."

"Don't speak it into existence," Penelope says, "Kevin is on his way over with a bottle of wine and a good time- and if I lose that I might go berserk." You laugh lightly as you place the sugar cookies on the cooling rack. Before turning back to the homemade icing. "I need a night in my prince's arms."

"Tell me about it," You chuckle, "Between the cases and Spencer almost dying every other week I really need this time with him. Even if it's just us making cookies." Penelope chuckles.

"Don't you dare tell me there won't be more," She teases.

"I don't know for sure," You say honestly, "depends on if Hotch lets me have my boyfriend for the night." She laughs lightly. You could hear the door open. Spencer calls to let you know he's home. "That's him Pen."

"Oh please give me all the juicy details on our Doctor Reid later!"

"Bye Pen-"

"Bye Y/n!"

You hang the phone up and move to toss it onto the counter. Spencer hands over the bags.

"Who was that?"

"Garcia," You tell him, "she was asking me to share some juicy details about our sex lives."

"People actually talk about that stuff?" He asks clearly a little embarrassed.

"I mean yeah," You chuckle, "I don't tell her everything if you are worried about that."

"No, I'm not worried about it-" He's starting to get flustered. You take his hand gently. He sighs. "Did you tell all the girls at work?"

"Just Penelope," You tell him, "and it's only small things. Like romantic gestures. I try not to say anything that I know you wouldn't want me to." He nods lightly. "Now wanna start making the cookies while I get your pumpkin cookies iced."

"Of course Malady," He says brightly. You move carefully icing the cookies as he starts on the cookies.

"You never told me what you want for Christmas," You point out.

"I want a whole day just the two of us," Spencer tells you.

"That is out of my hands," You tell him, "but I'll try my best to make it work." He nods lightly. "Anything else you want?"

"Uh- books," He tells you.

"Books? Any book?"

"No - I'll make a list," He says at once. You nod turning back to the cookies. "Anything you want that isn't the mixer?"

"Your love."

"You already have that," He chuckles. You turn to finish icing the cookies before starting on the sugar cookies. Spencer watches you carefully as he works on the gingerbread cookies. "Come on you have to want something else."

"I want you to take me to go look at Christmas lights," You tell him. He smiles lightly.

"I can do that," Spencer tells you.

"I knew I picked you for a reason," You say brightly. He moves setting the dough on the counter so you both can cut out the shapes. After you get them cut out he tosses them in the oven. You look over to him eagerly.

"What?"

"You're so handsome," You say brightly, "and I love you." He chuckles lightly. You take his hand carefully. "Christmas movies?"

"Depends... Which one?"

"Hmm, Polar Express?"

"Perfect," He says softly. You move to pull him along to the living room. He gets the movie set up as you climb onto the couch excitedly. Wrapping your arms around him the second he lays back down. You move resting your head on his chest. Feeling the rise and fall of his chest. As you keep your eyes on the movie Spencer gently plays with your hair. "You're beautiful."

"Thank you, love," You say softly. He moves pulling you closer to him.

"You know if we get to be like this then maybe I'll start to like Christmas," Spencer starts.

"Oh we can be like this all the time for Christmas," You tell him, "even better- we can have matching pajamas."

"Matching pajamas?"

You stand moving to the bedroom. Digging through the bags until you pull out matching pajama sets.

"I was going to wait until Christmas eve to get these out but I think we can manage getting them now," You say as you toss a set over to him, "you like them?"

"I love them," He says.

"Perfect because I told JJ we'd wear them to her Christmas party," You chuckle.

"Pajamas?"

"Her and Will are wearing their own matching PJs," You tell him, "it's just a cute thing... We don't have to."

"No no I like it," Spencer tells you. You aren't convinced he's telling the truth but you don't mind. This stuff is more your speed anyway.

"Well then let's get them on," You tell him. He nods. moving to pull off his sweater and replace it with the red Christmas top. You smirk slightly as you look over him. "You're so pretty."

"You always call me pretty," Spencer says as you toss away your top.

"Because you're pretty," You shrug, "sorry love." You move pulling on the pants. Spencer adjusts his slightly. You were a little worried it wouldn't fit right considering how tall and lanky the bastard is. "Please tell me that fits. They didn't have anything that was longer the wasn't also bigger and I didn't want it falling off of you."

"It fits fine," Spencer assures you. You move to take his hand carefully. He smiles widely.

"Come on we have to get the cookies," You tell him. He nods as you lead him out to the kitchen. Spending the rest of your night baking and watching holiday movies.

Spencer was sure that as long as you were by his side he'd give the holiday a chance.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid #spencer reid criminal minds #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal mind oneshots #christmas with spencer reid

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themetaphorgirl · 4 years ago

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Don’t worry, road trip part 2 is still coming, but I just really wanted to write this bit! I had fun with it, I hope you have fun reading it! Alex is a delight. And I love her and Emily being best friends.

warnings for underage drinking!

more about the boarding school babes

----------

Alex wrestled her blazer off and threw it on the floor with an uncharacteristic amount of effort. “Fuck midterms,” she said fervently.

“You said it,” Emily said, kicking the door closed with her heel and tossing her backpack on her bed. “Thank god that’s over. Now everybody can stop whining about them, and we can get on with our lives.”

“Well, no, now we get to stress about what grades we got on them,” Alex sighed. She pulled the elastic out of her ponytail and ran her fingers through her hair. “God, it’s going to be a long weekend.”

Emily was half out of uniform already, her button up shirt replaced with a black crop top, but she stopped. “Oh! I’ve got something that will take your mind off things,” she grinned. She rummaged under her bed, moving things around until she emerged with a white carton in her hands. “Aha!”

Alex froze. “Emily Prentiss, you have got to be fucking kidding me,” she said. “You bought-” She glanced around and then dropped her voice even quieter. “You bought alcohol?”

“Not really, it’s just white claws,” Emily shrugged. “There’s like...no alcohol in these.”

“What is wrong with you?” Alex hissed. “We are underage! This is...this is illegal! We could get expelled!”

“Relax,” Emily said. “With your record, you’ll get a slap on the wrist at the most. You could tell them I told you it was a LaCroix and you believed me.”

Alex frowned. “What about you?”

“This is nothing compared to the shit I pulled back home in Italy. I’ll be fine.”

“What if we get caught?” Alex said. “Seriously, if Elle happened to stop by-”

“What about Elle?”

Alex turned around with a shriek. Elle stood in the doorway, Emily’s keychain dangling from her fingertip in disdain. “Prentiss, you keep leaving your keys in the lock. You’ve got to remember at some point,” she said. She tossed the keychain to Emily; Emily still held the white claw carton and the keys fell to the floor. “What the fuck are you two doing with those?”

Alex went pale. “We just...she just...I didn’t…”

“I’ll give you one if you don’t tattle,” Emily offered.

Elle’s eyes narrowed. “Give me two black cherries and we’ll call it even,” she said.

“You drive a hard bargain, ma’am,” Emily said, but she opened the carton and tossed two cans at Elle.

“Thanks,” Elle said, catching them easily. “Make wise choices, ladies.”

She closed the door and Alex let out a long half-strangled exhale. “Oh my god, I thought my heart was going to stop beating,” she sighed.

“See? We’re fine,” Emily reassured her. “We’ll binge watch some mindless TV, we’ll eat shitty junk food, and we’ll have a drink or two. It’ll be a nice night, and everything will be fine. Trust me.”

“Why does you saying ‘trust me’ make me more worried?” Alex said.

Emily scrambled to her feet, picked up a can, and cracked it open. “Here, try this one,” she said.

Alex took a sip and wrinkled her nose. “What fruit is that supposed to be?” she asked.

“Oh, shit, sorry, that’s grapefruit,” Emily said. She picked up another can. “Try this one. You strike me as a raspberry kind of girl.”

Alex sighed, but took a sip. “That’s not as bad,” she said. “That actually tastes like something.”

“See? I told you,” Emily said. “Just take it easy for a while, okay? You’ve been so uptight this week I thought you might explode.”

“All right, all right, fine,” Alex said. “Just one, I guess. That shouldn’t be too bad.”

They had barely gotten into pajams and gotten through the opening titles of their chosen TV show of the evening when Alex frowned and gave her can a little shake. “Oh, it’s empty,” she said.

Emily flashed her a shit-eating grin. “See? I told you you’d like it,” she said. “Super chill. Absolutely fine.”

“Yeah, that was nice, I guess,” Alex said.

“You want another one?” Emily said. “There’s one black cherry left, and I’m willing to share it with you.”

Alex hesitated. “Yeah, maybe one more,” she said. “It’s not like we’re going anywhere tonight or anything.”

“Hell yeah!” Emily said, tossing her the can. “Maybe the next time I talk Dave into driving me to another party with the public school kids you can come with us.”

Alex snorted. “Absolutely not,” she said. “When I’m telling my children cautionary tales about underage drinking in boarding school, this will be the worst thing that I tell them. Slowly drinking two white claws while I watch a baking competition in my pajamas.”

“Ooh, slow down, Miller, you might be too cool,” Emily laughed. “You enjoy that second White Claw. You’ve earned it.”

In retrospect, she should have kept a better eye on Alex. On the other hand, Alex was usually so level-headed and responsible it hurt, and this was not the outcome she’d expected.

They were halfway through the second episode when she heard the small sniffle. Emily slowly lowered her can. “Are you okay?” she asked.

She turned around to see Alex wiping at her eyes. She hadn’t taken off her makeup and her mascara and eyeliner made dark puddles under her lashes. “His gingerbread house fell apart,” she said.

“Yeah, he fucked up his royal icing,” Emily said.

“But it’s so sad.”

Emily sat up. “Alex? Are you okay?”

Alex sniffled again. “He was trying so hard,” she said. In extremely un-Alex fashion, she swiped at her face with the hem of her sleeve, leaving behind a dark gray smear. “It’s so sad!”

“It’s a TV show,” Emily said blankly. “You don’t cry about anything, much less a...oh no.” She paused the episode. “Alex, how many did you have?”

Alex shrugged. “I wanted to try all of them,” she said. Her dark eyes welled up. “And you were right, grapefruit is the worst.”

Emily slid off her bed as Alex burst into tears. “Oh, no,” she said. “Oh, no. You had four?”

Alex nodded. The four empty cans were lined up with military precision on her nightstand. “Lime was the best one,” she said sadly.

“Yeah, lime was the best one?” Emily said. She sat down next to her on her neatly-made bed. “Okay, champ. You’ve had alcohol before, right?”

“My dad, he lets me have sips of his beer sometimes when my mom isn’t looking, but...beer is vile,” Alex said earnestly. “And, and my older brothers let me have Jack and cokes when my parents aren’t around, but it’s like...more coke than anything else. Like one drop of Jack.”

“Okay, so you’ve never been flat out tipsy before,” Emily guessed. “Or drunk either.” Alex shook her head. “Oh god. Okay.”

Alex’s phone buzzed on the nightstand; she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and leaned around Emily, fumbling for it. “Oh, it’s James,” she sighed, flopping over Emily’s lap.

“Yeah? Is that a good thing?” Emily asked, patting her back lightly. “You know what, we should get you some water. That might be helpful.”

Alex fiddled with her phone. “You know, you know...James and I...we’re best friends,” she said.

“Yeah, that’s really nice,” Emily said. “Can you sit up? You’re crushing me a little.”

Alex pushed herself up, leaning too heavily on Emily’s knee and making her wince. “James is...you know how boys are stupid?” she said.

Emily leaned back on her elbows and smiled up at the ceiling. “I do, yes,” she said.

“Jamie is...so stupid,” Alex said fondly. She looked up from her phone. “I just...want to kiss his stupid face.”

Emily sat up. “Oh shit,” she said. “What am I supposed to do with this information?”

“I just want to kiss him,” Alex said again. “Kiss his...stupid beautiful face.”

“Uh...do you need to kiss him like...now?” Emily said. “Is this an emergency? A kiss emergency?”

“Noooo!” Alex wailed. She threw her phone down on her bed. “That’s the problem! I can’t kiss him, Emily! It’ll mess everything up! He’s...Jamie is my best friend!”

“Harsh,” Emily said. “I thought I was your best friend.”

“You know what I mean,” Alex sobbed. “I just love Jamie so much and I can’t...I can’t mess everything up! By kissing his stupid beautiful face!”

“Listen, Miller...I think Jamie might be into it,” Emily snickered. “Ask him about it sometime.”

Alex rubbed at her face with the heel of her palm. Her makeup was absolutely a lost cause at this point, the black rivulets dripping all the way down to her chin. “Maybe I will,” she said.

“Yeah, we’ll see how that goes,” Emily said.

The door banged open and Emily jumped. “Guys, we have an emergency,” Elle said.

“Jesus, Elle, are you trying to give us heart attacks?” Emily said. “And we’re out of black cherry, so don’t even ask.”

“I’m giving you the heads-up,” Elle said. “Strauss just sent me an email. She’s going to do bedchecks herself tonight. Surprise inspection.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

“Nope,” Elle said. “You’d better hide all the stuff because…” Her voice trailed off. “What’s wrong with Miller?”

Alex had slid to sit on the floor, her legs stretched out in front of her. “I had four,” she said sadly.

Emily looked up at Elle. “She had four.”

“Fuck,” Elle sighed, rubbing her forehead with her fingertips. “She can’t be here when Strauss comes through.”

“What am I supposed to do with her?” Emily protested.

“I don’t know! Get her out!” Elle said. She shifted her weight. “Text your friend, the grumpy guy from Lincoln House. See if she can sleep it off on his floor tonight. We’ll tell Strauss that she...she got signed out to spend the weekend with her boyfriend off campus.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Alex said, slumping down further. “But I just wanna kiss his stupid face!” She sighed heavily, flexing her fingers in little grabby hands. “His stupid beautiful face.”

“Yikes,” Elle said. “No tolerance on this one, is there?” She glanced at her phone. “You’d better get her out of here fast. I’ll cover for you if Strauss gets here before you make it back.”

“I’ll try, but this might not end well,” Emily said.

----------

Hotch scowled as he leaned against the propped-open front door. “This is not at all what I expected,” he said. “Not in a million years would I imagine that you’d be dragging a drunk Alex over here, and not the other way around.”

“Yeah, well, I’m full of surprises,” Emily said. She hoisted Alex up the front steps. “Turns out Miller can’t hold her white claws.”

“White claws? All this because of white claws?”

Alex tripped on the top step and Hotch caught her arm. “I had four,” she said dreamily. Her eyes welled up. “I just wanted...to try all of them!”

“Okay, okay, you’re all right,” Hotch said, holding her up. He looked at Emily over Alex’s head. “I never thought she’d be a weepy drunk.”

“Me neither,” Emily said. “Well, she was an angry one for a second. She was shouting about her least favorite book on the way over here.”

“Pride and Prejudice is trash and it’s...it’s overrated!” Alex said. She grabbed Hotch’s upper arm. “It’s...there’s like a couple of good lines and a lot of pretty dresses but the rest of it is trash.”

“Sure,” Hotch said, perplexed. Alex let go of his arm, mumbling under her breath.

“You haven’t heard her cry over James yes,” Emily said.

Alex gasped. “Is he here?” she said.

“No, but tell Hotch what you want to do.”

She looked up at Hotch. “Kiss his stupid face.”

“Please tell him that, I’m tired of watching him pine after you,” Hotch said. “Does she...does she not realize he’s had a crush on her for three years?”

“Not a bit.” Emily stuck her hands in her pockets. “Well, this has been fun, but I’ve got to go-”

“Oh, no, I need you to help me get her up to the seventh floor,” Hotch said. “C’mon, give me a hand.”

Emily sighed. “Fine,” she said.

It was slow going to get Alex up the stairs. Hotch did most of the lifting, but Emily had to keep coaxing her. “Just stop crying, Miller, everything’s fine,” she said.

“Shut up!” Hotch hissed. “Do you want us to get caught?”

Alex caught the railing, stopping both of them in their tracks. “Can I just...sit down?” she said. “There’s so many stairs.”

Hotch pulled her back up to her feet. “Nope, keep going,” he said. “God, you’re just lucky that Gideon wouldn’t care about any of this.”

“Yeah, if you had Strauss for your building you’d be doomed,” Emily said. “Alex, keep going, we’re on the fifth floor, just keep walking.”

They finally managed to drag her up to the seventh floor, and Hotch scooped her up once they reached the common room. “We’ll hide her in my room until we can decide what to do with her,” he said.

“What are we going to do with her?”

“No idea.”

He set her down on his neatly-made bed. “How’re you doing, sport?” Emily asked. “Feeling okay?”

Alex screwed up her face. Her long hair was an untidy mess around her shoulders, and the jacket Emily had forced her to put on over her pajamas was buttoned wrong. “Not...not great?” she said, rubbing her face. She paused. “Whose room is this?”

“Mine,” Hotch said. “But you’re not staying here long. We’ll have to figure out somewhere else to hide you.”

“We’re in your house?” Alex sat up. “Where’s my baby?” she asked. “Where is he?”

“Spencer’s asleep,” Hotch said. “And I am not letting you wake him up.”

Emily patted her shoulder as her face began to crumple. “He’s fine,” she reassured her. “You’ll be fine too once you get some water and go to sleep.”

“What if he needs me?” Alex said, pressing her hand to her collarbone. “He’s so little.”

“Let him sleep,” Emily said firmly. She planted her hands on Alex’s temples and kissed the top of her head. “And you need to go to sleep. I’m going to get back to my room before Strauss comes through and run interference.”

“Good luck,” Hotch said. “And don’t slam the-”

Emily slammed the door. He sighed heavily and looked over at Alex. The usually calm, cool, and collected mom friend of their group was curled up on his bed, her lower lip wobbling as she wound a long lock of hair around her fingers. “What are you crying about now, Miller?” he asked.

“The Dewey decimal system,” she said, swiping at her eyes. “They’re trying to phase it out. But I’ll...I’ll be fucked...before they make me use LOC.”

Hotch sighed. “I don’t know what I expected,” he said. “Can you get your shoes off my bed?”

She complied slowly, kicking at her boots and peeling off her jacket. The door creaked open. “You guys woke me up,” Spencer complained. He wandered into Hotch’s room, his blanket draped over his shoulder. “What’s going on? Did I miss something?”

“No, you didn’t miss anything,” Hotch reassured him. “Go back to sleep, kiddo.”

Alex sat up. “Oh, Spencer,” she said, holding out her arms. “Come here, baby.”

“No, he needs to go sleep in his own bed,” Hotch protested, but Spencer had already climbed up, yawning heavily, and tucked himself against her shoulder. “No, Alex, you-”

Alex cuddled him close and pressed kisses to the top of his head. “You’re so little,” she sighed. “Just the littlest one.”

Hotch rolled his eyes. “You guys, this is very cute, but you need to get out of here,” he said. “Come one, everybody up-”

The door opened again. “Hey, what’s going on?” Derek asked. “I sent Spencer to go see what’s happening, but-” He stopped. “Why...why is Alex…”

“She had a couple of white claws,” Hotch said. She held up four fingers. “Four of them.”

Derek whistled. “Oh boy,” he said. “She okay?”

“So far she’s cried because Spencer is small, and the Dewey decimal system,” Hotch said dryly.

“A weepy drunk? Never would have guessed that.”

“Me neither, but here we are,” Hotch said. “Can you help me get her out of here? Maybe she can sleep on the floor in your room, since she seems determined to stay close to Spencer.”

“Uh...Hotch?” Derek said. “It’s too late for that.”

He pointed towards the bed, and Hotch turned around. They were both fast asleep; Spencer’s cheek smushed against her shoulder and her arms around him tight. “Well, shit,” he said.

Derek clapped his hand on Hotch’s shoulder. “You can take Spencer’s bed,” he said. “It’ll be like old times.”

“Fine,” Hotch sighed. “I guess.”

#au: patron saint of lost causes #criminal minds #alex blake #alex miller #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #hotch #derek morgan #spencer reid #caitlin writes things

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yourlocalsewerdragon · 3 years ago

Note

{Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. {Laughing} Like that's ever gonna happen. {Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes} What a load of - Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead The years start comin' and they don't stop comin' Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin' Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do so much to see So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow Hey, now You're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now but wait till you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire How 'bout yours That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored Hey, now, you're an all-star {Shouting} Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold {Belches} Go! Go! {Record Scratching} Go. Go.Go. Hey, now, you're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold -Think it's in there? -All right. Let's get it! -Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? -Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. {Laughs} -Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint. Now, ogres - - They're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. -No! -They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. -Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! {Gasping} -Right. {Roaring} {Shouting} {Roaring} {Whispers} This is the part where you run away. {Gasping} {Laughs} {Laughing} And stay out! "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures." {Sighs} {Man's voice} All right. This one's full. -Take it away! {Gasps} -Move it along. Come on! Get up! -Next! -Give me that! Your fiying days are over. That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! -Get up! Come on! -Twenty pieces. {Thudding} -Sit down there! -Keep quiet! {Crying} -This cage is too small. -Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! -Oh, shut up. -Oh! -Next! -What have you got? -This little wooden puppet. -I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. -Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. -Father, please! Don't let them do this! -Help me! -Next! What have you got? -Well, I've got a talking donkey. {Grunts} -Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. -Oh, go ahead, little fella. -Well? -Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - - -That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! -No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. -Get her out of my sight. -No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! {Gasps} -Hey! I can fly! -He can fly! -He can fly! -He can talk! -Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! Oh-oh. {Grunts} -Seize him!

-After him! He's getting away! {Grunts, Gasps} {Man} -Get him! This way! Turn! -You there. Orge! -Aye? -By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated..... resettlement facility. -Oh, really? You and what army? {Gasps, Whimpering} {Chuckles} -Can I say something to you? -Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible! Are you talkin' to - - me? Whoa! -Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. -Oh, that's great. Really. -Man, it's good to be free. -Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? -But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. {Roaring} -Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks! You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - - {Mumbling} Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my butt that day. -Why are you following me? -I'll tell you why. 'Cause I'm all alone There's no one here beside me My promlems have all gone There's no one to deride me But you gotta heve friends - - -Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends. -Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest. -Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I? -Uh - - Really tall? -No! I'm an orge! You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you? -Nope. -Really? -Really, really. -Oh. -Man, I like you. What's you name? -Uh, Shrek. -Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that. Who'd want to live in place like that? -That would be my home. -Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. -I guess you don't entertain much, do you? -I like my privacy. -You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence. -Can I stay with you? -Uh, what? -Can I stay with you, please? -Of course! -Really? -No. -Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please! -Okay! Okay! But one night only. -Ah! Thank you! -What are you - - No! No! -This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles. -Oh! -Where do, uh, I sleep? -Outside! -Oh, well. I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. {Sniffles} -Here I go. -Good night. {Sighs} -I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside. I'm all alone There's no one here beside me {Bubbling} {Sighs} {Creaking} {Sighs} -I thought I told you to stay outside. -I'm outside. {Clattering} -Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have? -It's not home, but it'll do just fune. -What a lovely bed. -Got ya. {Sniffs} I found some cheese. -Ow! {Grunts} -Blah! Awful stuff. -Is that you, Gorder? -How did you know? -Enough! What are you doing in my house? {Grunts} -Hey!

{Snickers} -Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table. -Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken. -Huh? {Gusps} {Male voice} What? -I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying orge! What do I have to do get a little privacy? -Aah! -Oh, no. No! No! {Cackling} -What? -Quit it. -Don't push. {Squeaking} {Lows} - What are you doing in my swamp? {Echoing} Swamp! Swamp! Swamp! {Gasping} -Oh, dear! -Whoa! -All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey! -Quickly. Come on! -No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there. -Oh! {Sighs} -Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them. -Oh, gosh, no one invited us. -What? -We were forced to come here. -By who? -Lord Farquaad. -He huffed und he puffed und he...... signed an eviction notice. {Sighs} -All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? {Murmuring} -Oh, I do. I know where he is. -Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all? -Me! Me! -Anyone? -Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me! {Sighs} -Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from! {Cheering} {Twittering} -Oh! You! You're comin' with me. - All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it! -On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek. -Hey. Oh, oh! -I can't wait to get on the road again. -What did I say about singing? -Can I whistle? -No. -Can I hum it? -All right, hum it. {Humming} {Grunts} {Whimpering} -That's enough. He's ready to talk. {Coughing} {Laughing} {Clears throat} -Run, run, run, as fust as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man! -You are a monster. -I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others? -Eat me!{Grunts} -I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll - - -No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons. -All right then. Who's hiding them? -Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man? -The muffin man? -The muffin man. -Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane? -Well, she's married to the muffin man. -The muffin man? -The muffin man! -She's married to the muffin man. {Door opens} -My lord! We found it. -Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in. {Man grunting} {Gasping} -Oh! -Magic mirror - - -Don't tell him anything! -No! {Ginerbread man whispers} -Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? -Well, technically you're not a king. -Uh, Thelonius. -You were saying? -What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess. -Go on. {Chuckles} -So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella. -Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Snow White! -And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina colads and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! -So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three? -Two! Two! -Three! Three! -Two! Two! -Three! -Three? One? {Shudders} Three? --Three! Pick number three,

my lord! -Okay, okay, uh, number three! -Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona. If you like pina coladas And getting caught in the rain -Princess Fiona. If you're not into yoga -She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go - - -But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night. -I'll do it. -Yes, but after sunset - - -Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament. -But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd find it. -So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle. -Uh-huh. That's the place. -Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? {Laughs} {Groans} -Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek. -Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry. -Hey, you! {Screams} -Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just - - I just - - {Whimpering} {Sighs} {Whimpering, Groans} {Turnstile clatters} {Chuckles} {Sighs} -It's quiet. Too quiet. {Creaking} -Where is everybody? -Hey, look at this! {Clattering, whirring, clicking} Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town Here we have some rules Let us lay them down Don't make waves, stay in line And we'll get along fine DuLoc is perfect place Please keep off of the grass Shine your shoes, wipe your... face DuLoc is, DuLoc is DuLoc is perfect ...... place {Camera shutter clicks {Whirring} -Wow! Let's do that again! -No. No. No, no, no! No. {Trumpet fanfare} {Crowd cheering} -Brave knights. -You are the best and brightest in all the land. -Today one of you shall prove himself - - -All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom. -Sorry about that. {Cheering} -That champion shall have the honor - - no, no - - the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you mae die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. {Cheering} -Let the tournament begin! {Gasps} -Oh! -What is that? {Gasping} -It's hideous! -Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey. -Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the orge will be named champion! Have it him! -Get him! -Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. -Go ahead! Get him! -Can't we just settle this over a pint? -Kill the beast! -No? All right then. Come on! I don't give a damn about my reputation You're living in the past It's a new generation -Damn! {Whinnying} A girl can do what she wants to do And that's what I'm gonna do And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me Me, me, me -Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me! And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation Never said I wanted to improve my station -Ah! {Laughs} And I'm always feelin' good when I'm having fun -Yeah! And I don't have to please no one -The chair! Give him the chair! And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me Me, me, me Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me, not me {Bell dings} {Cheering} {Laughs} -Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha! {Shrek laughs} {Crowd gasping, murmuring} -Shall I give the order, sir? -No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion! -What? -Congratulations, orge. You're won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. -Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest to get my swamp back. -Your swamp? -Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those tale creatures! {Crowd murmuring} -Indeed. All right, orge. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back. -Exactly the way it was? -Down to the last slime-covered toadstool. -And the squatters? -As good as gone. -What kind of quest? -Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only

don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. -Is that about right? -Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk. -I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that orge stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make your bread, the whole orge trip. -Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? -Uh, no, not really, no. -For your information, there's a lot more to orges than people think. -Example? -Example? Okay, um, orges are like onions. -{Sniffs} They stink? -Yes - - No! -They make you cry? -No! -You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs. -No! Layers! Onions have layers. Orges have layers! Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. {Sighs} -Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers. -I don't care... what everyone likes. Orges are not like cakes. -You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "No, I don't like no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious. -No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Orges are like onions! And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later. -Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. -You know, I think I preferred your humming. Do you have a tissure or something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start slobbering. I'm on my way from misery to happiness today Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh I'm on my way from misery to happiness today Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh And everything that you receive up yonder Is what you give to me the day I wander I'm on my way I'm on my way I'm on my way -Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that? -You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open. Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. {Sniffs} It's brimstone We must be getting close. -Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone neither. {Rumbling} -Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location. {Laughing} -Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said orges have layers? -Oh, aye. -Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves. -Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves. -You know what I mean. -You can't tell me you're afraid of heights. -I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling like of lava! -Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional support., we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time. -Really? -Really, really. -Okay, that makes me feel so much better. -Just keep moving. And don't look down. -Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down. {Gasps} -Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off, please! -But you're already halfway. -But I know that half is safe! -Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back. -Shrek, no! Wait! -Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall me? -Don't do that! -Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? -Oh, this? -Yes, that! -Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. {Screams} -No, Shrek! No! Stop it! -You said do it! I'm doin' it. -I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. Oh! -That'll do, Donkey. That'll do. -Cool. -So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway? -Inside, waiting for us to rescue her. {Chuckles} -I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek. {Water dripping, wind howling} -You afraid? -No. -But - - - Shh. -Oh, good. Me neither. {Gasps} -'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might

add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that. {Gasps} -Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs. -Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess. -The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. -What makes you think she'll be there? -I read it in a book once. -Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way they're goin'. {Creacing} -I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here. I'd step all over it. -Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the - - -Dragon! {Screams} {Gasps} {Roars} -Donkey, look out! {Screams} {Whimpering} -Got ya! {Roars} {Gasps} {Shouts} -Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! {Screaming} {Gasps} -Oh! Aah! Aah! {Gasping} {Crowls} -No. Oh, no, No! {Screams} -Oh, what large teeth you have. {Crowls} -I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You're - - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty. What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ohh. Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh - - (Coughs) -I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings. Shrek! {Gasps} {Whimpering} -No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! {Groans, Sighs} {Vocalizing} -Oh! Oh! -Wake up! -What? -Are you Princess Fiona? -I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. -Oh, that's nice. Now let's go! -But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment? -Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time. -Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed. -You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? -Mm-hmm. {Screams, grunts} -But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something! -I don't think so. -Can I at least know the name of my champion? -Um, Shrek. -Sir Shrek. {Cleans throat} -I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. -Thanks! {Roaring} -You didn't slay the dragon? -It's on my to-do list. Now come on! {Screams} -But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That's what all the other knights did. -Yeah, right before they burst into flame. -That's not the point. Oh! -Wait. Where are you going? The next's over there. -Well, I have to save my ass. -What kind of knight are you? -One of a kind. -Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. I believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long perriod of time. Just call me old-fashioned. {Laughs} -I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. I'm not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this - - Magnitude really is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to know each other first as friends or pen pals. I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards - - I'd really love to stay, but - - Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna tear it off. I don't give permission - - What are you gonna do with that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh! {Growls} {Roaring} {Gasps} -Hi, Princess! -It talks! -Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick. {Screams} {Screaming} -Oh! {Thuds} {Groans} {Roars}

{Roaring} -Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I'll take care of the dragon. {Fchoing} -Run! {Gasping} {Screaming} {Roaring} {Screams} {Roars} {Panting, sighs} {Whimpers} {Roars} -You did it! -You rescued me! You're amazing. You're - - You're wonderful. You're... a little unorthodox I'll admit. But they deed is great, and thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt. {Clears throat} -And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed? -I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed. -The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight. -Uh, no. -Why not? -I have helmet hair. -Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer. -No, no, you wouldn't - - 'st. -But how will you kiss me? -What? That wasn't in the job description. -Maybe it's a perk. -No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss. -Hmm? With Shrek? You think- - Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is you true love? -Well, yes. {Laughing} -You think Shrek is your true love! -What is so funny? -Let's just say I'm not your tipe, okay? -Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now - - Now remove your helmet. -Look. I really don't think this is a good idea. -Just take off the helmet. -I'm not going to. -Take ot off. -No! -Now! -Okay! Easy. As you command. Your Highness. -You- - You're a- - an orge. -Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming. -Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an orge. {Sighs} -Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the one who wants to marry you. -Then why didn't he come rescue me? -Good question. You should ask him that when we get there. -But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some prge and his- - his pet. -So much for noble steed. -You're not making my job any easier. -I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here. -Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy. -You wouldn't dare. Put me down! -Ya comin', Donkey? -I'm right behind ya. -Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down! -Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? -You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knowest what happens when you find your - - Hey! {Sighs} -The sooner we get to DuLoc the better. -You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful! -And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like? -Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. {Laughs} -I don't know. There are those who think little of him. -Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. -Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow. -Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp? -No, that'll take longer. We can keep going. -But there's robbers in the woods. -Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping's starting to sound good. -Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this forest. -I need to find somewhere to camp now! {Birds wings fluttering} {Grunting} -Hey! Over here. -Shrek, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for a princess. -No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. -Homey touches? Like what? {Crashing} -A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night. -You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will. -I said good night! -Shrek, What are you doing? {Laughs} -I just- - You know - - Oh, come on. I was just kidding. {Fire cracking} -And, uh, that one, that's

Throwback, the only orge to ever spit over three wheat fields. Right. Yeah. -Hey, can you tell my future from these stars? -The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look, there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for. -I know you're making this up. -No, look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench. -That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots. -You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm? Forget it. {Sighs} -Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway? -Our swamp? -You know, when we're through rescuing the princess. -We? Donkey, there's no "we". There's no "our". There's just me and my swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall arond my land. -You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. -No, do ya think? -Are you hidin' something? -Never mind, Donkey. -Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? -No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things. -Why don't you want to talk about it? -Why do you want to talk about it? -Why are you blocking? -I'm not blocking. -Oh, yes, you are. -Donkey, I'm warning you. -Who you trying to keep out? -Everyone! Okay? -Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere. -Oh! For the love of Pete! -What's your problem? What you got against the whole world anyway? -Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go. "Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly orge!" They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone. -You know what? When we met, I didn't think you was just a big, stupid, ugly orge. -Yeah, I know. -So, uh, are there any donkeys up there? -Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying. -Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there? -That's the moon. -Oh, okay. {Orchestra} {Dulcimer} -Again, show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess. -Hmph. -Ah. Perfect. {Inhales} {Snoring} {Vocalizing} {Whistling} {Sizzling} {Sniffs, yawns} -Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that. --Come on, baby. I said I like it. -Donkey, wake up. -Huh? What? -Wake up. -What? -Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs? -Good morning, Princess! -What's all this about? -You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me. -Uh, thanks. {Sniffs} -Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us. {Belches} -Shrek! -What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. {Laughs} -Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess. {Belches} -Thanks. -She's as nasty as you are. -{Laughs} You know, you're not exactly what I expected. -Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. {Vocalizing} -La liberte! Hey! -Princess! {Laughs} -What are you doing? -Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior! And I am rescuing you from this green - - {Kissing sounds} -beast. -Hey! -That's my princess! Go find you own! -Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here? -Look, pal, I don't know who you think you are! -Oh! Of couse! Oh, how rude. Please let me introduse myself. Oh, Merry Men. {Laughs} {Accordion} Ta, dah, dah, dah, whoo. I steal from the rich and give to the needy. He takes a wee percentage, But I'm not greedy. I rescue pretty damsels Man, I'm good What a guy, Monsieur Hood Break it down I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid What he's basically saying is he likes to get - - Paid So When an orge in the bush grabs a lady by the tush That's bad That's bad When a beauty's with a beast it makes me awfully mad He's mad He's really, really mad I'll take my blade and ram it through your heart Keep your eyes on me, boys 'cause I'm about to start {Grunts, Groans} {Karate Yell}

{Merry Men Gasping} {Panting} -Man, that was annoying! -Oh, you little- - {Karate Yell} {Accordion} {Shouting, groaning} {Chuckles} -Uh, shall we? -Hold the phone. {Grunts} Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on now. Where did that come from? -What? -That! Back there. That was amazing! Where did you learn that? -Well - - {Chuckles} When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these things in case there's a - - There's an arrow in your butt! -What? Oh, would you look at that? -Oh, no. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. -Why? What's wrong? -Shrek's hurt. -Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die. -Donkey, I'm okay. -You can't do this to me, Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. Keep you legs elevated. Turn your head and cough. Does anyone know the Heimlich? -Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns. -Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. Don't die Shrek. If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! -{Both} Donkey! -Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. -What are the flowers for? -For getting rid of Donkey. -Ah. -Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out. -Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'. -I'm sorry, but it has to come out. -No, it's tender. -Now, hold on. -What you're doing is the opposite of help. -Don't move. -Look, time out. -Would you - - {Grunts} -Okay. What do you propose we do? -Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! Blue flower, red thorns. -Ow! -Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'! -Ow! Not good. -Okay. Okay. I can nearly see the head. {Grunts} -It's just about - - -Ow! Ohh! -Ahem. -Nothing happend. We were just, uh - - -Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask. Okay? -Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just- - Ugh! -Ow! -Hey, what's that? {Nervous chickle} -That's- - Is that blood? {Sighs} {Bird chirping} {Grunts} My beloved monster and me We go everywhere together Wearin' a raincoat that has four sleeves Gets us through all kinds of weather -Aah! She will always be the only thing That comes between me and the awful sting That comes from living in a world that's so damn mean {Croaks} Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh -Hey! La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la {Both laughing} La-la, la-la, la-la -There it is, Princess. Your future awaits you. -That's DuLoc? -Yeah, I know. You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for something, which I think means he has a really - - Ow! -Um, I, uh- - I guess we better move on. -Sure. But, Shrek? I'm - - I'm worried about Donkey. {Blubbering} -What? -I mean, look at him. He doesn't look so good. -What are you talking about? I'm fine. -That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on your back. Dead. -You know, she's right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down? -Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea. -I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and when I turn my head like this, look, {Bones crunch} -Ow! See? -Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner. -I'll get the firewood. -Hey, where you goin'? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! I don't have any toes! I think I need a hug. -Mmm. This is good. This is really good. What is this? -Uh, weedrat. Rotisserie style. -No kidding. Well, this is delicious. -Well, they're also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean weedrat stew. {Chuckling} {Sighs} -I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night. {Gulps} -Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kind of stuff for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare - - you name it. {Chuckles} -I'd like that. {Slurps, laughs} See the pyramids along the Nile -Um, Princess? Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle -Yes, Shrek? -I, um, I was wondering. Just remember, darling all the while -Are you- - You belong to me

{Sighs} -Are you gonna eat that? {Chuckles} -Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset. -Sunset? -Oh, no! I mean, it's late. I-It's very late. -What? -Wait a minute. I see what's goin' on here. You're afraid of the dark, aren't you? -Yes! Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know, I'd better go inside. -Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until - - Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark. {Shrek sighs} -Good night. -Good night. {Door creaks} -Ohh! Now I really see what's goin' on here. -Oh, what are you talkin' about? -I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts. And I know you two were diggin' on each other. I could feel it. -You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad. -Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the pheromones. Just go on in and tell her how you feel. -I- - There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that, well, you know - - and I'm not sayin' I do 'cause I don't - - she's a princess, and I'm - - -An orge? -Yeah. An orge. -Hey, where you goin'? -To get... move firewood. {Sighs} -Princess? Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you? {Wings fluttering} -Princess? {Creaking} {Gasps} -It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games. {Screams} -Aah! -Oh, no! -No, help! -Shh! -Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! -No, it's okay. It's okay. -What did you do with the princess? -Donkey, I'm the princess. -Aah! -It's me, in this body. -Oh, my God! You ate the princess. Can you hear me? -Donkey! -Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there! -No! -Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! -Shh. -Shrek! -This is me. {Muffled mumbling} -Princess? What happened to you? You're, uh, uh, uh, different. -I'm ugly, okay? -Well, yeah! Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said. Now - - -No. -I - - I've been this way as long as I can remember. -What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before. -It's only happens when sun goes down. "By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm... until you find true love's first kiss... and then take love's true form." -Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry. -It's a spell. {Sighs} -When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this. This horrible, ugly beast! I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this. {Sobs} -All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7. -But Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant to look. -Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad? -I have to. Only my true love's kiss can break the spell. -But, you know, um, you're kind of an orge, and Shrek - - well, you got a lot in common. -Shrek? -Princess, I - - Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and - - well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd - - uh, uh - - {Sighs} -I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go. -I can't just marry whoever I want. Take a good look at me, Donkey. I mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? "Princess" and "ugly" don't go together. That's why I can't stay here with Shrek. {Gasps} -My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love. {Deep sigh} -Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only way to break the spell. -You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth. -No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know. -What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets? -Promise you won't tell. Promise! -All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. I just know before this is over, I'm

gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. -Look at my eye twitchin'. {Door opens} {Snoring} -I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him. -Shrek! Shrek, there's something I want - - {Snoring} -Shrek. Are you all right? -Perfect! Never been better. -I - - I don't - - There's something I have to tell you. -You don't have to tell me anything, Princess. I heard enough last night. -You heard what I said? -Every word. -I thought you'd understand. -Oh, I undersatnd. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?" -But I thought that wouldn't matter to you. -Yeah? Well, it does. {Gasps, sighs} -Ah, right on time. {Horse whinnies} -Princess, I've brought you a little something. {Fanfare} {Yawns} -What'd I miss? What'd I miss? {Muffled} -Who said that? Couldn't have been a donkey. -Princess Fiona. -As promised. Now hand it over. -Very well, orge. The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed. -Take it and go before I change my mind. -Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I'm Lord Farquaad. -Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no. {Snaps fingers} -Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short... farewell. -Oh, that is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the orge. It's not like it has feelings. -No, you're right. It doesn't. -Princess Fiona, beautiful, fair, flawerss Fiona. I ask your hand in marriage. {Gasps} -Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom? -Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make - - -Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed! -No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get married today before the sun sets. -Oh, anxious, are you? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do! Threre's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list. Captain, round up some guests! -Fare-thee-well, orge. -Shrek, what are you doing? You're letting her get away. -Yeah? So what? -Shrek, there's something about her you don't know. Look, I talked to her last night, She's - - -I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya? Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home? -Shrek, I - - I wanna go with you. -I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone! My swamp! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! -But I thought - - -Yeah. You know what? You tought wrong! -Shrek. I heard there was a secret chord That David played and it pleased the Lord But you don't really care for music, do ya It goes like this the fourth, the fifth The minor fall the major lift The baffled king composing hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah Baby, I've been here before I know this room I've walked this floor I used to live alone before I knew you I've seen your flag on the marble arch But love is not a victory march It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah And all I ever learned from love Is how to shoot at someone Who outdrew you {Moaning} And it's not a cry you can hear at night It's not somebody who's seen the light It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah {Moaning} Hallelujah, hallelujah {Thumping sound} -Donkey? {Grunts} -What are you doing? -I would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall when you see one. -Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it. -It is around your half. See that's your half, and this is my half. -Oh! Your half. Hmm. -Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head. -Back off! -No, you back off. -This is my swamp! -Our swamp. -Let go, Donkey! -You let go. -Stubborn jackass! -Smelly orge. -Fine! -Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet. -Well, I'm through with you. -Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, "Me, me, me!" Well, guess what! Now it's my turn! So you just shut up

and pay attention! You are mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. -Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? -Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other! -Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey. I forgive you... for stabbin' me in the back! -Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings. -Go away! -There you are , doing it again just like you did to Fiona. All she ever do was like you, maybe even love you. -Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature. I heard the two of you talking. -She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about, uh, somebody else. -She wasn't talking about me? Well, then who was she talking about? -Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me. Right? Right? -Donkey! -No! -Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right? {Sighs} -I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly orge. Can you forgive me? -Hey, that's what friends are for, right? -Right. Friends? -Friends. -So, um, what did Fiona say about me? -What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her? -The wedding! We'll never make it in time. -Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I have a way. {Whistles} -Donkey? -I guess it's just my animal magnetism. {Laughing} -Aw, come here, you. -All right, all right.Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass. All right, hop on and hold on tight. I haven't had a chance to install the seat belts yet. -Whoo! {Bells tolling} {All gasping} -People of DuLoc, we gather here today to bear witnss to the union.... -Um- -of our new king - - -Excuse me. Could we just skip ahead to the "I do's"? {Chuckling} -Go on. -Go ahead, HAVE SOME FUN. If we need you, I'll whistle. How about that? Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute! You wanna do this right, don't you? -What are you talking about? -There's a line you gotta wait for. The preacher's gonna say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." That's when you say, "I object!" -I don't have time for this! -Hey, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this woman, don't you? -Yes. -You wanna hold her? -Yes. -Please her? -Yes! -Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness. The chicks love that romantic crap! -All right! Cut it out. When does this guy say the line? -We gotta check it out. -And so, by the power vested in me, -What do you see? -The whole town's in there. -I now pronounce you husband and wife, -They're at the altar. -king and queen. -Mother Fletcher! He already said it. -Oh, for the love of Pete! {Grunts} -I object! -Shrek? {Gasps} -Oh, now what does he want? -Hi, everyone. Havin' a good time, are ya? I love DuLoc, first at all. Very clean. -What are you doing here? -Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding - - -Fiona! I need to talk to you. -Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me - - -But you can't marry him. -And why not? -Because- - Because he's just marring you so he can be king. -Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him. -He's not your true love. -And what do you know about true love? -Well, I - - Uh - - I mean - - -Oh, this is precious. The orge has fallen in love with the princess! Oh, good Lord. {Crowd laughting} -An orge and a princess! -Shrek, is this true? -Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from our "happily ever after." Now kiss me! Mmmmm! -"By night one way, by day another." I wanted to show you before. {Whimpers} {Crown gasping} -Well, uh, that explains a lot. -Ugh! It's disgusting! Guards! Guards! I order you to get that out of my sight now! Get them! Get them both! -No, no! -Shrek! -This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that makes me king! See? See? -No, let go of me! Shrek! -No! -Don't just stand there, you morons. -Get out of my way!

Fiona! Arrgh! -I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and quartered! -You'll beg for death to save you! -No, Shrek! -And as for you, my wife, -Fiona! -I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! -I'm king! {Whistles} -I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have - - Aaaah! -Aah! -All right. Nobody move. I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it. {Roars} -I'm a donkey on the edge! {Belches} -Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they? {Cheering} -Go ahead, Shrek. -Uh, Fiona? -Yes, Shrek? -I - - I love you. -Really? -Really, really. - I love you too. -Aawww! -"Until you find true love's first kiss and then take love's true form." -"Take love's true form. Take love's true form." -Fiona? Fiona. Are you all right? -Well, yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful. -But you ARE beautiful. {Chuckles} -I was hoping this would be a happy ending. I thought love was only true in fairy tales Oy! Meant for someone else but not for me Love was out to get me That's the way it seemed Disappointment haunted all my dreams And then I saw her face Now I'm a believer and not a trace Of doubt in my mind I'm in love Ooh-aah I'm a believer I couldn't leave her If I tried -God bless us, every one. Come on, y'all! Then I saw her face Ha-ha Now I'm a believer Listen! Not a trace Of doubt in my mind I'm in love Ooh-aah I'm a believer I couldn't leave her if I tried -Ooh! -Uh! Then I saw her face Now I'm a believer Hey! Not a trace Uhh! Yeah. Of doubt in my mind -One more time! I'm in love I'm a believer Come on! I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, hey Y'all sing it with me! I Believe I believe People in the back! I believe I'm a believer I believe I believe I believe I believe {Hysterical laughing} -Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh. -I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I believe in self-assertion Destiny or a slight diversion Now it seems I've got my head on straight I'm a freak an apparition Seems I've made the right decision To try to turn back now it might be too late Now I want to stay home today Don't wanna go out If anyone comes to play Gonna get thrown out I wanna stay home today Don't want no company No way Yeah, yeah, yeah I wanna be a millionaire someday But know what it feels like to give it away Watch me march to the beat of my own drum And it's off to the moon and then back again Same old day Same situation My happiness rears back as if to say I wanna stay home today Don't wanna go out If anyone comes to play Gonna get thrown out I wanna stay home today Don't want no company No way Yeah, yeah, yeah I wanna stay home, stay home, stay home......... I get such a thrill when you look in my eyes My heart skips a beat Girl, I feel so alive Please tell me, baby, if all this is true 'Cause deep down inside all I wanted was you Oh-oh-oh Makes me wanna dance Oh-oh-oh It's a new romance Oh-oh-oh I look into your eyes Oh-oh-oh The best years of our lives When we first met I could hardly believe The things that would happen and we could achieve So let's be together for all of our time Oh, girl, I'm so thankful that you are still mine You always consider me like an ugly duckling And treat me like a Nostradamus was why I had to get my shine on I break a little something to keep my mind on 'Cause you had my mind gone Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh Turn the lights on, Come on, baby Let's just rewind the song 'Cause all I want to do is make the rest years the best years All night long Oh-oh-oh Makes me wanna dance Makes me wanna dance Oh-oh-oh It's a new romance It's a new romance Oh-oh-oh I look into your eyes Oh, yeah, yeah I look into your eyes Oh-oh-oh The best years of our lives Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.............. Everything looks bright Standing in your light Everything feels right What's left is out of sight What's a girl

to do I'm telling you You're on my mind I wanna be with you 'Cause when you're standin' next to me It's like wow And all your kisses seem to set me free It's like wow And when we touch it's such a rush I can't get enough It's like- - It's like Ooh-ooh Hey, what It's like wow Ooh-ooh, hey Hey, yeah It's like wow Everything is looking right now, right now It's like wow And I got this feeling This feeling it's just like wow It's just like wow You are all I'm thinking of. Like wow Everything feels right Everything feels right Like wow Everything looks bright All my senses are right Like wow Everything feels right Baby, baby, baby the way I'm feeling you Is like wow There is something that I see In the way you look at me There's a smile There's a truth In your eyes What an unexpected way On this unexpected day Could it be This is where I belong It is you I have loved All long There's no more mystery It is finally clear to me You're the home my heart's searched for So long It is you I have loved All long Whoa, over and over I'm filled with emotion As I look Into your perfect face

i don't think you guys understand how much i've suffered

#long post

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delightfulstarlightparadise · 4 years ago

Text

Stardew valley Imagine. Reader/ Sebastian (?)

-Before we start, oce again I remind you that English is not my main language, but I am doing my best.

“I didn’t think you were so tired to the point of passing out in that sofa.” Sebastian says while taking a drag of his cigarette. “If I knew we would have come earlier.”

“Aw... I shouldn’t have drink that beer.” you say, feeling sick to your stomach.

“If you are going to throw up, please do it in some bush and not near me.”

You didn’t even bother answering him. Next thing you knew, you were kneeling down barfing behind a tree. You were not very used to drinking.

“Sorry.” you say when you can finally talk.

“What about?”

“Everything.”

He shrugs and helps you stand up.

“You are... different.” he says.

“I know, I am weird.”

He laughs.

“You think you are weird? My best friend is the weirdest person I know. Being different in a town like this is not a bad thing you know?” he says.

You stare at him for a while too long, he blushes showing is uncomfort.

“You didn’t pass as a supportive type at first.” you say.

“Don’t get used to it.” he says smirking at you.

When you arrive the farm you can see that the seeds you planted in the morning had turned into little saplings already. You shake your head, sure that it is a prank of your dizzy mind, but they are there.

“Sebastian, can you see those or am I really wasted?” you ask him, pointing at the saplings.

“I can see them, but I am also pretty sure you ARE wasted.” He mocks you.

“How can it be?! I planted them this morning!” you look at him completely astonished.

“So what?” he asks.

“They were not supposed to grow like this… I mean, this is crazy!”

“Oh really? I don’t understand much about farming.” he says while getting another cigarette from his pocket. “I will be going now, ok? Thanks for the game, I had fun. Destroying Sam every time was starting to get boring.

As he goes, you sit down on your porch staring at those little saplings.

…

You have a dream.

You are playing with your cousins by the mountain river. A younger Sam and a younger Sebastian are there too. Sebastian is ginger back then, but Sam’s hair still challenges gravity somehow. There is a third boy that is not from your family, he is brunette, very alethic and seems to like you a lot.

Sebastian challenges you all: who can go up a tree by the shore faster. You are the first to run there, before anyone even agrees to the bet. He doesn’t like it and runs as fast as he can, followed by the other boy and your cousins. Sam kind of gets left behind.

You start climbing the tree so fast, you didn’t even remember being so agile, you feel like a feral squirl. The other boy is right behind you, he even tries to hold your foot and tickle you, but you don’t give up. As you laugh together, Sebastian gets to pass you, but you quickly follow after him.

Somehow you manage to get to the top first, Sebastian is all sweaty and puffing. The other boy comes after and congratulates you on the win. He kisses you on the cheek and you get all red about it. Sebastian doesn’t like it, actually he seems really jealous. You think it is about you having won and start mocking on him.

You call him gingerbread man. He hates it and pushes you. Because of your weigh the branch you fall on cracks and you fall on the river. You can see both Sebastian and the other boy reaching towards you.

Your head hits a rock and you get unconscious. But actually, you just can't move, you still can see... everyone is jumping on the water after you, but you feel like you are nowhere to be found. Maybe that is it, your short life has come to an end.

You hear a funny sound and turn your head to the left. You see an apple.

The apple has two eyes and pink cheeks.

There are others, they are all around you, making that funny sound and lifting you up from the bottom of the lake.

Next thing you see, a hand grabs your wrist, lifted by the little apple spirits. You are pulled out of the water by Sebastian, he has almost drowned too. He is crying and doesn’t stop apologizing, but you aren’t able to say anything to him, the words don’t come out.

You spend some days in the hospital, all your vitals are ok, but you keep seeing those little apple spirits around. The adults are afraid you had too bad of a concussion and no one believes in you... except for... grandpa?

He says you were saved by the forest spirits, but your mother and father tell him not to incentive these kind of thoughts in you. Eventually, they stop taking you to Stardew valley.

The longer you are away, the more you forget about your time there.

When you wake up, the dream seems like a shadow, but you feel very different.

…

They were even bigger! From one night to the other, the saplings have grown as much as they should in a week.

“Am I going insane?” you ask yourself.

You water them and put some extra fertilizer, then you decide to go to the city and buy some food for the farm. When you arrive there, you see Mayor Lewis in front of a big old house behind the square.

“Oh, hi y/n!” he calls you, as you two seem to be the only people around. “Come here a second.”

You feel a little annoyed. Is it going to be like this now? Every day that amount of interaction in your life... how can you handle it?

“Good afternoon, Mr. Lewis.” you say.

“Call me Lewis.” he says with a gentle smile. “Do you remember this place?”

You take a look at it. Everything is so broken and old you can swear it is probably haunted. You can’t seem to remember anything like it.

“I see.” he says. “You were so young, but you, your cousins and your grandpa used to come here. This is the community center of Pelican town. Well... it used to be. Come on in.”

You follow him inside and it looks even worse than the outside. Bindweed has taken over the walls, there isn’t a single piece of wood that is not broken or rotten and there is even a tree fully grown in the corner of the main hall, but even that tree seems to be decaying.

“This used to be the heart of the town, everyone in the community gathered here for parties, birthdays and even city events.” he says. “But as time went by... it seems like these kinds of things are not as important nowadays.”

He starts a discourse about how people would rather watch TV instead of gathering with the community, but you can’t follow because... there is an apple jumping by the window.

“Y/n, what’s with you?” the mayor asks turning to the place you are looking.

It immediately disappears.

“It was...” you are about to tell him about the apple but, why bother? “I think I saw a mouse.”

“This place is probably infested by mice, it has been closed for so long.” He says and sighs. “It is sad to see it like this. But I think that is what happens to old things, see Paradise farm, for example. Good that now you are there to rebuild it. Too bad for this place, there aren’t people willing to do it.”

“Did you ask people?” you ask out of curiosity.

“Unfortunately, every time we set to rebuild everyone was busy with something else. Eventually, I think everyone just gave up.” the mayor let go a long sigh. “And since Joja Mart came to town, they keep making offers to buy it and turn it into a warehouse. I am thinking about selling it by the end of this year... the city could use the money.”

You look around once more. It does seem sad to let ANYTHING that once was good end up in Joja corporation’s hands. Wasn’t this what happened to you.

You feel a strange connection to the place.

“Anyway, I must be going now. Have some mayor duties to accomplish. Thanks for giving an old man some time to be nostalgic.” he says and chuckles. “I will leave this place open if you want to take a look, maybe you can find some of you Paradise kid’s old toys in the crafts room.”

It is weird because you wouldn’t usually do something like that, but as the mayor went away, you started exploring the rooms and they seemed to bring you back some blurry memories. Maybe you played with your cousins in that corner. Maybe you attended someone’s birthday and ate cake by that old table. Maybe you sat with your grandpa in front of that big fish tank and he told you stories about fishing.

You hear a sound and it immediately makes you turn to the decaying tree in the corner of the main hall. Your heartbeat increases as you see not one, but many apple spirits jumping around and waving at you. They seem to be talking but you can’t quite understand.

“What the hell is going on with me?” you say, rubbing your eyes and shaking your head.

They are still there.

One of them, a green one makes you a sign for you to follow it Still uncertain, you do, and it takes you to a golden scroll in the middle of the crafts room. You see there is something written there, but you can’t quite understand it.

“Junimos?” is the only thing you can discern.

The little apple starts jumping and making that funny sound as if it is agreeing to you.

“You are Junimos?”

It seems even more excited. The more it makes those funny sounds, the more it seems like it is saying your name.

“You know me, isn’t it?”

It seems to agree.

“You saved me that day.” you say. “So either everyone was wrong and I didn’t go crazy back then, or I am going crazy right now.”

“You are certainly not going crazy, my dear.”

You yell as you listen to a voice come from behind you and a figure comes from the shadows of the corner of the room. A purple bearded wizard dressed up in a fine robe walks towards you.

“Don’t be afraid. I am Rasmodius, the Wizard, keeper of the secrets of the forest, master of the elemental’s knowledge... you get the picture.”

“Where did you come from?!” you yell as you try to step back, but you end up tripping and falling.

“I have been paying close attention to you for the past couple of days. You are the one whose arrival was foreseen by the valley. The one connected to the forest powers, the one to change the valleys destiny... well you, my friend, are a hero to become.”

“What the fuck is going on here? Am I dreaming? Am I dead? Am I dreaming in a comma?” you star hyperventilating. “I have gone crazy, that is it. I finally lost it!”

“Please, calm down.” the wizard says as he can see you going pale.

“Oh my, what if I never left Zuzu city? I must still be in bed, I need to wake up to go to work, that is it! I am not crazy I am just sleeping...”

The little Junimo beside up jumps and slaps your face with his little stick hand and it hurts way more than it seems to be possible.

“What the...” you say, but it seems to take you away from your anxious thoughts.

“As I was saying...” the Wizard cleans his throat. “You were brought back to this valley to help it heal from the many hazards it has been imposed by both mankind and witchcraft. Also, I have seen, to change the destiny of the people who live here.”

“Me?” you screech with unbelief. “Man, I can’t barely fix my own life.”

The wizard chuckles.

“Well, sometimes to help another one is the best way of helping oneself.” he says.

“What the hell is going on?” you say rubbing your temples.

“You will understand when the time is right.” the wizard replies. “For now, drink this.”

He extended to you a cup filled with a green liquid.

“You are kidding right?” you say.

“No, you are supposed to drink. These are the ingredients from the forest, it will help you understand the language of the elementals.” he says.

“I am not drinking it.”

The Junimo beside you starts jumping and puffing in a way to demonstrate impatience and he seems so angry that you take the cup from the wizard’s hand and, after taking a nauseated look at the content, you drink it.

You feel dizzy and things start moving a lot slower. You can see the memories of yourself as a kid running among trees, playing in the river, collecting and eating savage berries. You see yourself playing with animals, riding a horse, rolling in the mud with grandpa's pig.

You see the faces of some people from the town. You are beside them, helping them and doing nice things, things you had never thought you would do in your life. You feel happy to help, you feel like a part of something. And then... there is this someone you suddenly see yourself kiss.

“If you might ever need me... meet me in the towers west Cindersap forest.” you hear the Wizard’s voice.

As you open your eyes, you see the image of a man and a girl, both with glasses in front of you.

“Y/n? Are you ok?” you hear Maru’s voice coming from the distance. “Oh my Yoba, what a scare you gave me!”

“What? Where am I?” you say slowly sitting down and looking around.

“You are in the clinic. Maru found you passed out near the fountain. You have symptoms of an insulation, perhaps you have been working too hard in the farm.” the man says, adjusting his glasses. “I am doctor Harvey.”

“Insulation? Last thing I remember I was drinking that green thing from the wizard...”

Both Maru and the doctor stare at you, looking concerned.

“I mean, I probably had a bad dream while passed out. Thanks for bringing me Maru, sorry for the trouble.” you say.

“No problem, I am stronger than I look.” she says. “Now lay down, you are taking intravenous medicine, you seem to be very poorly nourished. Have you been skipping meals?”

She gently pushes you into laying down.

“I forget to eat sometimes.”

“That is very hazardous! Even more being a farmer and working a lot in the sun and with so much physical effort!” says Harvey, looking very angry.

He gives you a full lecture about the importance of eating healthy and says that he is going to give you some supplements. You are actually worried about how you are going to pay for the treatment.

…-

Next part here:

Credits for the pose reference: https://snuffysbox.tumblr.com/post/160658875287/have-another-angsty-draw-your-otp-%E1%95%95-3-%E1%95%97-please

#stardew valley #stardew valley fanfic #stardew #stardew valley fanart #stardew valley Sebastian #sdv #SnufkinWasHere #stardew valley rasmodius

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athenaquinn · 4 years ago

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Finally Free || Orion, Nic, & Athena

TIMING: 12:30-1am ish, October 20th LOCATION: Quinn Household, Harris Island PARTIES: @3starsquinn, @athenaquinn, and @bountybossier SUMMARY: Nic is a Dad. CONTENT: Physical and emotional abuse mentions

“Athena? Athena. We have to do something.” Orion’s world had so drastically shifted that he had no idea how to feel. His brain was going haywire, feeling sick to his stomach and angry one moment before shifting to terrified and on the verge of tears. It had been over twenty minutes now. Orion only knew because he had been staring at the oven slowly counting the time for him. Twenty minutes of Orion silently kneeling in the puddle of blood collecting around his parent’s bodies. Twenty minutes of listening to Athena filter through her emotions in a rapid fashion rivaling his own. Twenty minutes of waiting for the world to stop spinning or asteroids to fall from the sky or for the bombs to go off. The world had to be ending, right? His parents were dead, one of them taken by Rio’s own hands. How did anything continue to go on after that? How was Rio ever supposed to walk again? Was he expected to go to school? To meet up with Blanche before work or hang out with Ariana and Layla? How could he kiss Winston ever again? Rio couldn’t picture anything besides kneeling on this floor, watching the oven remind him that it had been twenty-two minutes since his life had ended. Twenty-four. Twenty-six.

Thirty-seven minutes later, Rio remembered that moment of clarity when he had taken the knife from Athena. How everything had finally made sense. There were no other alternatives here. If Orion hadn’t done it, his parent’s would have killed them both and continued to take the lives of innocent people. This action had indirectly saved lives. There had been no choice. Only what had to be done. As far as morals had gone, it was the closest Rio had ever come to agreeing with his parents.

As far as he knew, Athena still hadn’t responded. “Athena?” Orion tried again, moving or the first time in thirty-seven minutes to look over at Athena. She was like an entirely different person. Not a single feature seemed recognizable even though nothing physically had changed. But the Athena he was staring at wasn’t the same as any image of his sister that he had seen before. “Athena. We can’t- I don’t know what to do. You’re the one that knows what to do. Please. Tell me what to do. Please.”

Her brother’s words were fuzzy. Just like when they’d gone swimming as children and he’d called out for her when she dove into the water and tried to hold her breath too much because there was a certain thrill that came coupled with being underwater for just too long. Athena sat, arms wrapped around her legs as she stared at the refrigerator. There was a Christmas card on it, one from last year. Their whole family was on it, and Athena could smell the pine needles, could smell the gingerbread that she never wanted too much of but found herself devouring anyway. She could taste it now - burning hot - and she felt the salt from her tears dried against her cheeks. She couldn’t focus. Her parents were dead. Her parents were dead by her own hand. Her parents had wanted to kill her brother for at least three years now and she hadn’t seen that. She kept staring at the photograph on the refrigerator, as if that would make everything better.

She didn’t want them to be alive again. The thought crossed her mind in passing first, before becoming more salient, more solid. Athena didn’t want her parents alive. She found that thought to be overwhelming. She’d never thought of a life without her parents. They were strong, they had made her strong. That was what they were supposed to do. Except they hadn’t. You broke us down and tried to mold us like we were clay or something. Her brother’s voice cut through her thoughts again and she dug her nails into her thighs. She had saved her brother. She was born to better the world, and her brother was the most important person to her. She couldn’t let him die.

She did what she had to do. Athena finally focused in on her brother’s words, unsure of how many times he’d called her so far. She glanced over to him, but she didn’t make eye contact. She wasn’t sure if she could. “I - I’m sorry.” She whispered, voice wavering. Turning away again, gaze intensely focused onto the refrigerator. “I - I can’t, Ri.” Lips barely moving, she couldn’t bring herself to look back at him.

Athena wasn’t fixing this. Why wasn’t she fixing this? That was what she did. What she had always done. Athena always took charge, always knew exactly what to do. When Orion wavered and began panicking, Athena always stood strong and knew exactly what to do. For better or for worse. Even when Rio hated the answers that Athena had to give, at least she gave them. So why was she silent now? He pushed himself up, his legs asleep and wobbling beneath him as he stumbled over to the counter, grabbing onto a towel and wetting them under the sink. He started with himself, scrubbing desperately at the blood that stained his hands. Of course it wouldn’t come off. Why would it? Even dead, he couldn’t escape his parents. After he had done the best he could he moved over towards Athena, crouching down to meet her and gently pressed the wash cloth against her arm in an attempt to begin wiping the blood away. “What do we do then? If you don’t- What am I supposed to do then?” Rio tried asking again, closer to her than he had been since they were children. Both literally and figuratively. And yet, Athena couldn’t make eye contact with him. And the words he spoke seemed to rebound off of her completely as if they had never even been said.

Nothing. If she couldn’t do this, then Orion didn’t stand a chance. Would anybody believe that this was justified? There was so much blood. So much violence. Self defense only took the two so far. People would realize that this went farther than that. If Athena didn’t do something then they had no chance, right? “I’m going to check your stomach, okay? I can smell the blood from when you were pushed down.” Without a reply, Orion took that as an okay and slowly pulled the side of Athena’s shirt up and pressed the soaked, bloody towel against it. As he wiped away the blood an image slowly started to become visible behind the wound. A tattoo? Since when did Athena have one of those? It took another minute before he realized what the tattoo was of. A series of dots symbolizing constellations. Orion. Rio’s arm fell down to his side as he stared at it. It was… simple. Not the usual grandeur that Athena loved so much. It was smaller and tucked away so it wasn’t on view for all to see. It was for herself more than anyone else. Rio had always known that Athena held a weird sense of dedication towards him, but never thought that she had actually cared enough to do something like this. “I uh- I didn’t know you had this.” Rio pushed away from Athena and slid back across the kitchen floor, not stopping until his back ran into the door handle of a kitchen cabinet. He was out of his depth, he knew that much. He had no experience with this and definitely didn’t have the stomach for it. How could he fix something like this? The logical steps flashed in his mind. Clean the mess. Get out of the house. Find an alibi. All of that was easy to say and impossible to accomplish by himself. But he had to try.

For a brief moment, Orion considered the possibility of leaving. Just standing up and walking out. Allowing his sister to handle the fallout by herself. But how long would she stay silent? She would talk eventually. She would feel betrayed. Rio couldn’t risk it coming back to him later. Leaving wasn’t an option, but staying wasn’t either. He had to do something. If he didn’t, both of them were screwed. But he knew he couldn’t do it alone. He needed someone. His body functioned without him, taking control and scrolling through his phone. Of course, he knew exactly who he needed to call. Someone that he could trust and that might understand. Before he had a chance to chicken out, he dialed. “Hello? I- I’m sorry to call so late. I need your help. Please. It’s really bad.”

The more Nicodemus worried, the less he seemed able to sleep. And fuck, was he worried. About everyone and nothing all at once. It was a wonder he hadn’t been paralyzed with it, the way it bunched his shoulders and tensed his jaw. It was worry that had him answering the phone after one ring and a quick glance at the caller ID. “Hey kid.” He had answered and then his voice petered off into silence as he listened. I need your help. He walked out of his room and went for his keys. Please. It’s really bad. Keys in hand, he ran to his truck. Ran towards something rather than away. The hunter cursed the machinery for not going fast enough as he tore over the bridge that connected East End to Harris Island. The smell of copper slammed against him as he stepped towards the darkened home. Manners went to the wayside as he strong-armed the front door open. The smell of blood was thicker in his nose. On his tongue. His brow furrowed as he shook his head.

“Rio?”

Nicodemus called out as he did what he had been raised to do: follow the blood. Right toward the kitchen as the flooring creaked under his weight. Fuck, there was a lot of it. His eyes didn’t linger on the dead. He knew lethality when he saw it and it didn’t take long to put two-and-two together. Those were his parents. His gaze, heavy yet quick with concern, went to the living. He breathed in and out slowly before he went to Rio. His sister was there and there was blood on her too. Wherever she was looking, wherever she stared off to, it didn’t seem to be anywhere in the four walls. “Kid,” he said as softly as his gravel-laden voice could manage. Tentatively, he reached a hand toward him but did not touch him. “I’m gonna help but...the hell happened?”

“I’m in here,” Orion echoed when he heard Nic calling out his name. The scene hadn’t changed since Rio had called him and begged him to come over as quickly as possible. Rio had moved from the puddle of blood that his father had left behind and was instead making new blotches of blood on the floor beneath his stained jeans. He had moved away from Athena who had barely moved from her near comatose state. The image left two dead bodies and then two kids in fetal positions on the kitchen floor trying to do anything but stare at their parents. There was so much blood everywhere. Rio did his best to clean it off of himself and Athena, but there was only so much he was able to accomplish on his own.

Orion’s heart sank at the concerned look on Nic’s face when he got into the kitchen. Getting a genuine look of care and concern was so foreign inside of this house that it was somehow more frightening than the sight of his dead parents just feet from him. “I-” How did he explain this? This was self defense, at least in a way it had been. Maybe it wasn’t completely necessary at the moment, but Rio knew what his parents would have done if given the chance. The only reason that they had even gotten as far as they had was because their parents had underestimated them. “They were going to kill us.” Rio settled on, “We had to stop them and then- and then it was too late to stop and we-” Rio stopped talking so that he could grab onto the counter top and use it to pull himself off the ground and onto his feet. Tears were beginning to stream down his cheeks but he couldn’t do anything to stop them. He just wanted Nic to make things better, maybe a hug or two. But he was covered in blood and didn’t want to get it on Nic too. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know who else to call. I didn’t want to drag anyone into this but I don’t know what to do.”

Blood tracked on the floor like something wounded had passed through. As Nicodemus looked at Orion, he supposed something had. Even surrounded by the smell of copper and death setting in, the stressed furrow between his brow eased as he looked at Rio. Waited for him to talk. It wasn’t something that could be rushed. As the younger hunter talked, the older one fought the urge to say that it was better that they’re dead. It wasn’t what either of the siblings needed to hear and even he knew that, as corrosive as he could be. He went to Rio, a steady hand held out as the young man hefted himself up. There was blood on Rio’s hands, his shirt, everywhere. Nicodemus didn’t pay attention to it as he tentatively rested a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t say that it would be okay or that it was going to be alright. In that bloodied house, it wasn’t right to say. “I gotcha, kid,” was what he said as he gently pulled Rio into a one armed hug. Not long ago, he had been there to assure another of White Crest’s youth that the world hadn’t ended. Nell. He didn’t have a blanket with him this time. When would this fucking town let them rest? “We’ll get this handled, alright? Not goin’ anywhere ‘til we do. Nothin’ to apologize for.”

He let go of Rio and crouched down by Athena. Nicodemus’s voice teetered toward soft as he spoke. “We gotta get rid of the blood. D’you…” His words trailed as he glanced back toward Rio. “Ain’t gonna rush but we gotta get started somewhere. Might as well start with you two. Sound good?”

She could hear voices. One of them was familiar - her brother. She knew that she would recognize his voice anywhere. Maybe it was a twin thing, or maybe it was just the general familiarity that came along with knowing someone for twenty-one years. Athena couldn’t place the other voice. Their parents were dead. She couldn’t breathe. She wasn’t sure if she could even talk, right now. She still had blood on her hands and on her shirt, despite the work that her brother had done. She could feel his steady hand against her ribcage, against her hip. She was supposed to help him. Why couldn’t she?

The back of her throat burned, and she wondered for a moment if she was going to be sick. She was so used to blood - used to anything others must consider macabre. Heck, she’d been perfectly fine in every single biology class she’d taken, and had been more than okay with watching her father perform countless surgeries. Athena couldn’t deal with the red on the floor now. Then the other voice was louder and right by her ear and she felt her hand fly up to her mouth, catching a would-be scream. “I - who - I…” she trailed off again. “Okay. I - it’s so red.” Goodness, what kind of first impression was she making? Could you consider it a necessity to make a good first impression when your parents were dead on the ground? “Yes. It’s important to take things one at a time.” Her voice sounded practically robotic even to her. “I’m - you know who I am, right?” She looked between the man and her brother, not quite making eye contact with either of them. “We have soap by the sink and more in a closet just down the hallway.” She went to go stand up but couldn’t, her legs far too heavy to move. She was supposed to be the one light on her feet, always. “I - can - Ri?” She looked over to her brother, making eye contact for the first time in she didn’t know how long. “You - can you?”

Without Nic here, Orion honestly wasn’t sure he would have been able to do anything. Dragging him into this was not what Rio had wanted at all, but it had felt like a necessary evil. Or maybe that was just selfishness. The part of him that knew what this could mean if the police had found out. The Quinns had been well respected around town. Rio had always been the weird, quiet one. Would it have been that much of a stretch to think that he had snapped one day? Rio had only just finally found a life worth living in. For once, when he was in danger he wasn’t ready to accept his death. He had too many people in his life that he lived for now. He had to try to protect that. Nic was one of those relationships that Rio found so precious. It was only strengthened further by the man’s quick arrival and agreeing to help just based on the small amount of information that Rio was able to relay. When Nic pulled Rio into a hug, Rio wanted to cry. It didn’t matter how the length or size of the hug. It meant everything to him. He couldn’t tell if he was repeating his thanks in his head or if he kept telling Nic thank you on instinct, but it was all that ran through his head.

Athena spoke, a complete sentence for the first time since their mom had died. She wasn’t herself, that much was painfully obvious. Who knew that when worst came to worst, Orion would be the functioning sibling? Of course, this situation was far different from any other that the twins had been through together. “Yeah- yeah of course I’ll grab it.” Rio grabbed for more rags and soap, turning the faucet on and leaving it on as he went back over towards Athena and Nic. “I- uh.. I’m sorry in advance, Nic. It’s not always a pretty sight.” Any hunter that had been working long enough would have their fair share of scars. But any hunter worth their salt would easily be able to tell the difference. Athena’s usual hunter wounds were different than they had been before. Rio could tell when he tried to tend to the hip wound she had. Without Rio there, they had taken out their frustrations elsewhere. Her wounds would be a mixture of battle scars from Fae and other creatures and their parents. Rio’s entire body was a mixture of scars and burns caused by the cruelty of two parents dissatisfied with a child’s behavior. His wrist still stung, but Rio gingerly worked his hoodie up and over his head. The long sleeve shirt beneath was wet from blood soaking through it. After a long moment of internal debate, Rio decided to discard that as well, crossing his arms together afterwards to try to cover as much of his torso as he could. He needed new clothes. Athena did too. But first he needed to keep wiping blood away.

Worry came in at the eyes as Nicodemus looked them over. Wounds and wounding. He knew the two well. And he liked to think he knew Rio well enough to know that he wasn’t big on the latter. As he took soap and rag in hand, the hunter looked at the bodies of their parents. His eyes narrowed and it wasn’t a Christian thought that passed through him. Then again, he hadn’t been much of one for a long time. It didn’t linger long. “Rio,” he said as he looked back. “Ain’t nothin’ to apologize for, kid. You or her.” There was no way to describe Athena other than shell shocked but she seemed to be making do. As much a child could after doing away with their parents. Hunter children had that way about them. Making do with the crosses they were born to bear. Older hunters hadn’t done shit all to fix that.

Cleaning blood wasn’t strange to him and he took to it easily enough, working through the spatters with what could have been a troubling efficiency if he wasn’t numbed to it. “You two weren’t here,” he said as he looked at Rio, then at Athena. He waved his hand and ignored the pink tinge his fingertips took on. “An alibi, alright? Gonna make y’all up one. You weren’t here. That sound okay?” It would have to be, he thought with a grimace.

She could hear their voices but they still barely registered to her. Everything was a haze and her head felt far too heavy for its own good. Her eyes flickered up at the sound of her brother’s name - though the voice was still unfamiliar. How did Ri know all these people she didn’t? Athena brushed her hands against her skin where her hip had hit the table, tracing the growing bruise. She could feel his gaze on her for a moment and she looked up, nodding. They couldn’t be here. She wasn’t involved in the law by any means but she knew enough about it. Knew how to skirt it to some degree, because some people found fondness in the creatures she killed, and if she wasn’t careful she could get into trouble that batting her eyelashes and pouting to the school principal or any number of her teachers wouldn’t get her out of.

“Okay. We were not here. We were - we - Ri doesn’t live here anymore.” She looked at Nic, right in the eyes, looked at her brother too, but she didn’t register the eye contact. “I have friends. I can -” she winced for a moment as her fingertips found a particularly tender spot of skin. Athena took in a shaky breath. “I’ve never had an alibi before.”

Orion wasn’t sure what he would have done with Nic’s help here. He didn’t know how to handle Athena like this. He was pretty sure that she was in a state of shock which was understandable. All things considered, Rio probably should be. Though as the initial shock had begun to wear off Rio had found himself feeling increasingly... normal. If anything, the overwhelming feeling that took hold inside of Rio’s mind was relief. But he wasn’t quite sure how concerned he should be about that yet.

“Right. Alibis are a good idea.” Orion nodded in agreement, already thinking who he could ask. It was crazy thinking about how many people came to mind, and how much had changed since he had lived in this house. He had Nic or Blanche or Winston to fall back to after this. He knew immediately that they would do anything for him, though he hardly wanted to put that stress on them. “It’s going to be okay,” Rio turned towards Athena in an attempt to comfort her, “We’ve had alibis our whole life. Covers for why we had to go home right after school and why we would disappear on weekends. Our twenty-first birthday just ended. It would make sense that you were out somewhere celebrating rather than at the house. Just find someone that you can trust, okay?” Tip swung back towards Nic, “I don’t know what the police are going to think of this. A home invasion, maybe?” Rio crossed his arms in thought as he pondered exactly what this scene looked like, because it looked personal. “In the basement. When police investigate they’re going to realize that my parents aren’t who they said they were. It’s... it’s pretty grim down there. Maybe they’ll think it was revenge?”

Nicodemus had barely ever needed to establish an alibi for himself, let alone for a pair of kids that had just murdered their abusive parents. Murdered. That was a word that had his heart thrumming wildly as he took in deep breaths to calm himself. It wasn’t murder. Self-defense. But he didn’t know how that would fly in White Crest. Rio didn’t deserve to have his life cut short because he protected himself. Neither did Athena. Not when they had severed the blood ties that tried to dictate how they were meant to live. What their lives meant. He met Athena’s eyes but could tell she wasn’t quite looking at him. That was fine. For now, distancing themselves from this however they could would work.

“Your birthdays?” The question came out slow. Uncertain. “Jesus fuckin’ Chri--Sorry, sorry.” Nicodemus didn’t swear in front of Rio. It had gotten easier over the months but with the smell of dead and blood in the air, it was hard. “Neither of you were here because you were out with friends doing birthday stuff like...like kids do. You weren’t here at all and hadn’t been most of the day.” They aren't kids anymore, he thought as he looked at them. They hadn’t been for a long time, he supposed. Childhood had a way of dying the moment your small hand curled around a knife hilt and you were told that death was the way of living. He knew he was a hypocrite to think it. “Can make it look like a home invasion, yeah. Kick the door in, break some stuff. Everyone has enemies. It looks enough like it’s personal.” Violent. Another word for it. A brow lifted as Rio mentioned the basement. “What’s down there?”

She wanted to back away from her brother’s touch, but she couldn’t. He was safe, and she had to believe that. He was all she had, in the end. Athena nodded again. “We’re twenty-one.” They were twenty-one, so why did Athena feel more like a vulnerable child than she’d felt in years? “We - Ri always - we always stay up in the last moments of our birthday together.” She shook her head, still not quite making eye contact. Athena wasn’t entirely sure if she could handle that. Someone she could trust. Her brother was the person she trusted most, but that wouldn’t work. The two of them would be too tied together, were that the case. Ariana. That was the only other option. She couldn’t come looking like this to her sorority house, and she and Ariana had a pact - to always be honest with one another. “I have someone.” She blinked, letting her breath slow down. Looked at her brother and mouthed - Ariana. Just so he would know. Just in case.

“Our parents…” wouldn’t have enemies, she wanted to say. Could Athena realistically say that right now? She wasn’t sure. She wanted to say that they were good, to say that they wanted to do good, and perhaps they had, in a certain way, but she also knew that they had just wanted to kill her and her brother, and had planned to try to kill her brother years before. That much she couldn’t forgive. “Down where?” She shook her head. “It’s - nothing. It's my dad’s - our dad’s workspace. He experimented. It’s - we watched, because it’s important to learn through practice.” She looked over to her brother, making a facsimile of eye-contact. It wasn’t quite there, not yet, but it was more there than it had been.

Athena seemed a million miles away. Orion didn’t know how to feel about that. The two of them were both victims, Rio knew that. But still he had always felt like the black sheep. Like his isolation was somehow worse or lonelier than hers was. But maybe that wasn’t completely the case. Rio didn’t have many friends growing up like Athena, but that meant that he didn’t have people in his life that he had to keep his entire life a secret from. That must have been just as lonely. Tonight, her ramblings seemed to speak to no one in particular. She spoke to Rio and Nic, but her voice drifted off as she said the words. By the end, when she talked about her parents it felt more like the same useless lines they had heard their entire lives rather than an actual explanation. Rio shifted eyes, meeting Nic’s before switching to give a concerned glance at Athena. Maybe Nic could help her get to wherever she was going after this. Rio was pretty confident that he could get back to his house safely and quietly.

Ignoring what she had said, Rio decided to explain himself. “My dad is- er well was a surgeon. He liked to… learn about Fae. Werewolves too, but mostly Fae. He would examine them. Try to find new weaknesses and ways to kill them. It wasn’t pretty. And there’s no way to clean it up. There’s a whole operating theater down there.” Rio didn’t want to clean up their mess. He wanted people to see them for who they actually were. Monsters. “Break some stuff…” Rio’s voice trailed off, imagining ways to sell the home invasion look. “Hold on.” He left the kitchen, sliding around the hall and into the garage, coming back with golf clubs that Athena and his dad would use when they went golfing together. Rio gripped one tightly in his hands, the only part of his body that seemed to feel much stress. Otherwise, he was eerily calm. “Where do we start?”

Athena seemed to be slowly coming back from wherever she had wandered to. Nicodemus thought it best to save any birthday wishes for a later time. Right then, with blood and scars out in the open, it didn’t feel right. None of it did but they were dealing with it as best they could. It is what it fuckin’ is, he thought. “Can get you to ‘em.” He nodded to her. They could figure it out later, when the scene was set and they were making their quick exits. As Rio explained what it was that was in their basement, his expression flattened. He had heard stories of hunters like that, the kind that liked to pick species apart in order to learn. He couldn’t say much. He picked them apart for a profit. So he didn’t say a thing. Not until Rio came back with a golf club in hand.

“Start from the outside in,” Nicodemus said. “I’ll go out, alright? You two can stay in here. Be back in a minute, alright? Ain’t leavin’ you.” The discomfort that filled him when he glanced at Rio and Athena, recalled what he had seen, was immeasurable. It wasn’t kind to wish ill upon the dead but he did and didn’t feel bad about it. Didn’t feel much at all as he wrapped a towel around his hand and opened the back door. The home looked like a home. The idealized kind. The kind that movies and television showed. The furrowed skin between his brows smoothed and he began to break. Quiet as he could but just as harsh.

“No - I can - I can drive.” If she was going to go to Ariana’s house, the very last thing she wanted was to bring another hunter there. As much as he was willing to help Athena and Orion, she didn’t know what kind of hunter he was nor anything else, and she didn’t wish to further compromise him by having him be seen with her outside of the home. “Thank you, though.” She added. It was critical to be polite to those in a position of authority. Her gaze found her parents’ bodies again and she seized up, coughing for a moment before she could refocus. That’s not respectful, a voice in the back of her head, one she didn’t recognize, told her. That’s a scandal. They only cared for you. “They wanted to murder my brother.” She spoke in response, her hand finding her mouth as she did so. That wasn’t supposed to have been spoken aloud.

“Okay.” She pressed her thighs together, the pressure reassuring in its own way. Watched the golf clubs come in, watched the other man pick one up, hand wrapped in a towel. No fingerprints, then. She felt herself jump as the sound of glass permeated the too-quiet air. Athena looked up at her brother, staring at him in much the similar way that she had when they’d been children. “He - how do you know him?”

Orion glanced at Athena when she spoke aloud, seemingly to herself. Everything about her demeanor was making him incredibly nervous. For anyone else, this was a totally normal reaction for someone whose parents had just died. This was the sort of shock and retreat that Rio expected himself to feel if he had ever been forced to take a life. It was how he felt when he had killed that troll. Was something wrong with him that a troll elicited a greater reaction from Rio than two human lives? But Rio knew what Athena was experiencing. That voice inside of her head feeding her self doubt. How did Rio try to fix that? He owed it to her after all, didn’t he? She was in this mess because of him. Or maybe it was the opposite. Maybe she owed him now. Not that it mattered.

Even though Rio knew it was coming, he still jumped when he heard glass breaking. He breathed a heavy sigh, gently placing his hand on Athena’s shoulder to offer the only amount of comfort he knew how to give. “He saved me once. From a vampire. Since then we stayed in contact.” Nic meant way more than Rio could ever find the words to explain, especially to Athena. How did he explain to her that he had filled the role of a parental figure Rio had so desperately needed to his sister, who had spent her entire life idolizing two people they had just killed? “He’s a really, really good guy. He’s always there for me if I need him. And he’s here to help us.” Rio removed his hand, opting instead to grip tightly onto the gold club with both hands. He moved slowly towards the living room area and shrugged towards Athena, “Here goes nothing I guess.” Then he swung at their television, shattering the screen. But he was far from finished.

He nodded in understanding at Athena. The older hunter didn’t know what reassurances he could offer. Through words, at least. Those troublesome things Nicodemus had always been shit at. So he stuck to what he knew. Silence and breaking. Shattering. The art of leaving nothing behind when the next step was taken. It was the most he could offer the twins, other than his presence. Between it all, he couldn’t help but hear Rio. A good man. He had heard that before. Recently, even. He supposed good men helped cover up murders from time to time. Maybe that was how it worked. The concept of right and wrong was skewed, easily swayed. He went on breaking out the windows that led to the backyard. Broke them inward so the glass spewed out onto the floor. He climbed in and stepped over the pieces carefully. Looked over his handiwork and frowned. With heavy steps, he came to stand by Rio. Glanced over toward Athena.

“You’re...good too,” he said slowly. He took in a heavy breath. He glanced at the bodies again. They were likely starting to go cold. “Even with…” Nicodemus trailed. Shook his head. “You just are. Nobody gets to tell you otherwise. No one can take it away from you.” Their parents had tried to, he reckoned. Wanted them to be something righteous in the way that blood was shed. He frowned. Righteousness didn’t have a place in what they did or what they were. They just were. The way others just were.

She couldn’t help herself - each time she could hear the golf clubs collide with the glass she felt like jumping. She did her very best to avoid that, but the sound reverberated in her ears. This will help, this will turn suspicion away from us - she reminded herself, the mantra hardly reassuring. The sooner Athena got out of all of this, the better. At least Rio had known someone to call. Her mind flashed briefly to Oscar and she felt like she was going to be sick all over again. “He’s here to help.” She repeated. She was going to have to lie to Oscar, because this would be all over the news in no time. She admired him, but what would he think if he knew what she’d just done? He doesn’t know what my parents did to me and my brother, Athena reassured herself. Everything will be okay.

She finally pushed herself up and off the ground, making her way over to the cabinets. Grabbed one of her favorite childhood mugs. Grabbed one of Orion’s, too - ones that they’d used for hot chocolate around holiday times. She threw each of them against the tiled floor, the shattering of china more satisfying that she would have readily liked to admit. Athena, for good measure, grabbed a few other plates and bowls, letting them fall over. “Collateral damage,” she murmured, “just for good measure.”

Breaking things came easily to Orion. Unsurprisingly, it turned out Rio had a lent of pent up anger to take out against the house that he had been raised in. Smashing things came way too easily to him, shattering the glass tv stand and the pictures and plants they had within the living room. It was completely destroyed within minutes, the shattering sounds from the kitchen proving that Athena had been able to help. They would have to do this to everything. They couldn’t leave their rooms untouched, or the basement. It would be a methodical process, but an important one.

When Nic came back in, trying to remind Orion that he was a good person, Rio could only nod. He didn’t feel like a good person, though he rarely did. “Thank you. Seriously, I don’t know how I could possibly repay you. Even if you won’t let me.” Rio smiled at him, a genuine one even if the mood didn’t exactly call for one. “I think we should move my dad’s body to the basement. If people think it’s a revenge plot then it may make sense for him to be down there. I don’t know this isn’t my forte, clearly.” Rio sighed. “Whatever we do. We need to get out of here sooner rather than later. Just to be safe.”

It was surreal watching Orion and Athena take to their childhood home like small storms. How often had Nicodemus thought of doing just the same damn thing? Of ripping through stone and crosses and molded wood like something unrestrained? Every day, he reckoned, if the wind went by just right and the sun was where it should be. One day. Maybe. His own storm might come calling home. The smile he returned to Rio was small. Tired. “Ain’t gotta worry about that right now. I’ll help you get ‘im down there,” he said quietly. “And then we better get. Ain’t tryin’ to rush but…” He glanced down at the bodies before he started to lift up the father. “Been here long enough and y’all ought to get somewhere safe.”

“You - I…” she felt her voice break as Athena heard them discuss moving the bodies. She really was going to be sick. She could count the tiles on the floor. She could feel her rings against her fingers. She avoided thinking about the smell. That wasn’t going to help anyone out. Her gaze found the Christmas photo on the fridge again and she felt a shudder crawl through her whole body. “We need to get somewhere soon. I need to - I have to pack a bag before I go. Not too much. We can’t - people are going to ask questions. We -” She bit her lip, pleading with herself to actually form coherent thoughts. God, what was she going to tell Ariana? She had to tell her the full truth, even though she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to explain any of this. “You - just don’t - be careful with the blood. If too much tracks people can tell that you moved a body.” She could hear her father repeating some of the same words, back when they’d trapped a fae together, the satisfaction and eagerness she had with the knife too much. Be careful, Athena, acting rashly may satisfy in the moment but will only serve those we seek to eradicate in the long run. “The police will search for that. So just - be careful, please?”

Orion nodded at Nic. He was right. The neighbors wouldn’t be awake for a few hours, but they were nosey. If they got up to get a glass of water or go to the bathroom they’d notice the lights on and remember it when the police started showing up. These people gossiped like crazy. Moving to help Nic, Rio heard Athena talk and paused. “Yeah- Good point. You’re right.” He moved towards her and lowered his voice. Not because he didn’t think Nic would be able to hear, clearly he could. But because Athena didn’t look like she could handle any higher volume, “Hey. You should go. Seriously. Nic and I just have a couple more things to do and then we are going to get out of here. Ariana lives farther away than I do. It’s going to take you some time to get there. Okay? We’ll talk later.” That wasn’t a promise so much as it was an unfortunate fact. The two would be called in and questioned by the police once the bodies were discovered. Rio and Athena would be seeing more of each other sooner rather than later. Giving a small wave and nod, Rio turned away from his sister and back to help grab onto his father’s body, already hoisted up by Nic. He avoided looking at his father’s body by studying Nic’s expression. Rio could never repay this man, but he hoped that Nic would still be able to see Rio the same. “Okay uh- let’s wrap up here so we can get out of here.”

#wickedswriting #c orion #c nic #chatzy #finally free #emotional abuse mention #physical abuse mention #// more soft!!!#lora and cody are delights #rio and nic are perfect

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breakingsomething · 4 years ago

Text

the fall part fourteen - check in

basic summary: chase and lucas vibe. henrik gives someone an apology. marvin is emo.

trigger warnings: internalized homophobia, references to past domestic abuse (not much but i'm putting a warning just in case), alcohol, emeto

tagslist: @synonymsforzombie @spicydanhowell @skyewardlight @dreaming-of-stories-and-stars @cest-mellow @graveyardlettuce @lower-your-expectationss

chase was feeling a lot of emotions, but mostly he was just angry.

"i just don't understand how i'm supposed to keep being a peacemaker for marvin and henrik," he was saying. he and lucas were sitting in a coffee shop at the very back of the room, lucas stirring his drink and listening to chase vent quietly. they'd finally been able to find a time where both of them were free to meet up, and it was going smoothly so far, so to speak. "they're always fighting and i want to agree with both of them because they're both making points but i can't help but feel i'm being yanked in every direction here."

"yeah, that's sucky," lucas murmured. he pushed up his glasses, which had fogged up in the heat of his coffee. then he shot chase a small, nervous smile. "sorry i'm bad at knowing what to say. it might seem like i'm not listening, but i swear i am. i just don't have any good advice."

chase sighed, his rage at his brothers slowly dissolving. "nah, it's ok. i'm not expecting you to solve all my problems." he scratched his head and laughed softly, feeling his face heat up. "i honestly don't know why i'm telling you all this. i barely even know you - we met, what, a couple months ago? three months, maybe? under the dumbest circumstances imaginable. very, very sorry for that, by the way."

"it's cool!" lucas laughed, waving his hands. "it's honestly cool, don't worry. i do find it funny how this all started as a favour for naomi, and now we're here."

chase winced. "yeah. my family tends to - be like that. dragging people into our messes somehow. it used to be anti causing all the problems, and now it's - well. you know."

lucas snorted and turned his head away, glancing at the line of people waiting for their coffee. lucas was the type of man who looked as though he fit in perfectly in a place like this; fluffy blonde hair, black rectangular glasses, even a fucking indigo hoodie over a dark red button up. he looked like a stock image of a hipster. he looked like he spent all his time in coffee shops with a laptop and earl grey tea in front of him, a hipster siren calling all those who wanted to live some sort of cliche romance movie. chase bet that if he opened up the man's plain grey bag, he'd find books and art supplies inside. it was immensely attractive.

chase blinked. no it wasn't. that wasn't something he should be thinking, what the fuck? why had he just thought - he hadn't really just -

lucas spoke again, interrupting his thoughts. "i don't know a lot about your family, aside from what you, naomi and marvin have told me. but i know that they definitely need to maybe… talk it out. go to family therapy, i don't know -" he clapped a hand over his mouth and laughed out of shock. "oh crap, it is absolutely not my place to say that, is it!"

chase threw back his head and laughed, glad for a distraction. "no, no, you're so right," he giggled. "i love how - i love how you've literally known us for three months and already know that like, all of us need some kind of therapy. are we that obvious?"

lucas shook his head, wiping his eyes. "ah, man, i need to keep my mouth shut. i am very sorry for calling out your whole family like that."

"it's fine, it's fine," chase said. he fanned his face, suddenly realizing how hot it was in here. to be fair, he was wearing three layers; a plain white longsleeve, a dark blue ac/dc shirt, and a black jacket on top of that. along with ripped jeans and a beanie. he looked the polar opposite of lucas. it was quite funny, actually. "we deserve to be called out."

lucas smiled and sipped his coffee, glancing to the front of the shop out the window. "man, it's so warm," he said through his cup. "to think it's september and it was storming so badly only three days ago."

chase nodded slowly, glancing down at his barely touched cup. he didn't want to think about the storm, honestly. that had just been a nightmare. "hmm. weird storm, yeah. everything's a bit weird lately."

for instance, he'd just called lucas "attractive" in his head. that was strange enough. why was that the thing he was focusing on? why was he freaking out about this?

lucas was a friend. just a friend he wanted to talk to and do normal things with. could straight guys call their friends attractive? chase decided to believe he could.

"they shouldn't treat you like that, though," lucas said. his dark eyes were warm under his glasses. "once again, maybe not my place to say. but i feel like they shouldn't use you as, like, a substitute therapist."

chase winced. "i mean, that's kind of what i'm doing to you, isn't it?"

lucas set down his drink and shook his head, shifting slightly closer to chase. "it's different. you're not expecting me to solve all your problems for you. you just need someone to listen." he smiled. "i get the feeling it's been a while since you had that."

chase flushed, blinking. "uh, yeah. i guess… i guess, yeah." he decided not to mention his old therapist and just looked at his legs, folding his hands together. lucas had glanced away by the time he looked up, but he was still a little bit closer to him than he'd been, and his hand was resting on the table next to chase's cup.

"thanks for listening," chase murmured gratefully. "i suppose it has been a while since i had a friend like… like you."

lucas widened his eyes. "oh! oh, thank you! i mean, i…" he giggled, rubbing the back of his neck. "i'm assuming that's a compliment. you're… you're sweet."

a grin spread across chase's face. "i - thank you too."

chase wasn't sure when their faces had gotten so close, only inches apart. lucas blinked, looking up at him through his pale lashes. his lips were parted slightly in surprise, like he'd just come to the same realization that the other man just had. chase's breath hitched, and his stomach suddenly dropped fiercely.

and it hit him that they were in a public space with everyone's eyes able to turn to them at any moment and what was he doing, getting so close to a guy like this, he wasn't supposed to, anyone could see him and he couldn't fucking stand it -

"i'm sorry!" chase yelped. he shoved himself away, heart racing so fast he thought he'd pass out. he didn't dare to turn and look at the rest of the room. "shit, i'm - i should - i have to go!"

"wait!" lucas cried, startled. chase ignored him, adrenaline hitting him all at once, leaping from his place on the booth and darting around the table. "chase, i'm - i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, i'm so sorry!"

chase couldn't look at him or he was going to be sick. "it's ok, i just have to - i'm sorry," he managed. "i'm sorry, i'll call you later, i'm -"

he ran from the building as quickly as his legs would allow him. lucas didn't follow.

chase wasn't sure when he'd started crying. he was certain everyone was staring at him as he speedwalked down the road, both hands clamped over his mouth. fuck, it felt like being a kid again, like he was twelve and his mother was telling him that it wasn't right for boys to like other boys, and chase would nod and agree because it was all he knew, and then he grew up and married a woman and was so relieved it was her he fell in love with and not him, not a boy, not anyone else -

god, he was just so fucking angry.

henrik hated the sound of doorbells.

it was such an anticipatory sound; the sound of knowing you were about to have to interact with someone. it automatically made him tense up, back straight, poker face on, hands in his pockets because he didn't know what else to do with them. eyes clenched shut for just a moment as he heard someone walking to the door on the other side. maybe this hadn't been the best idea.

the door clicked open.

"henrik?"

ok, she didn't immediately sound like she wanted to kill him. that was a good start. he cracked his eyes open, and flashed a small, sheepish grin. "hallo, ellie."

ellie just blinked. white teeth peeked out from behind her lips, strands of loose dark hair falling into gingerbread eyes. her voice was clipped and professional. "it's good to see you."

a breath fell from henrik's mouth. "i'm sorry," he immediately blurted out. he couldn't stay still, shifting back and forth, bouncing on the balls of his heels. "i shouldn't have dropped you the second i thought i couldn't handle it anymore. you deserved better and i was the dickhead."

a brief moment of thick silence passed over them.

"let's walk," ellie said eventually. "around the city, or something. i've been meaning to go out anyway."

a smile cracked on henrik's face. "yes! yes, let's do that," he said enthusiastically. ellie held up a hand, eyebrows drawing together over narrowed eyes.

"first," she said cautiously. "i have to ask. we're not doing the - the romance thing anymore, i take it?"

henrik was briefly stunned. "uh, i - no, i wouldn't think so, no," he stammered awkwardly. he swallowed, a hand rising to the back of his neck. "yeah, i feel like that maybe wasn't working out for us."

to his surprise, she laughed. "thank goodness for that," she breathed, sounding relieved. "i didn't think that was working either, yeah. but…" her eyes met his again. "i'm glad you came back."

a sudden warm feeling took over him. "me too," he murmured. "me too."

henrik had never had many friends.

that was just fact. from his creation on, he simply had "colleagues" and "acquaintances," people he tolerated when he had to. after his wife left, chase had been his only friend - and then they'd discovered they were brothers by blood too, anyway, so there had been a lack of choice in that department. he'd been content like that. content without any kind of social life. it had just been easier that way.

but ellie was so warm. like a soft flame. it was cliche as all hell to say, but it was the closest way to describe her that henrik could manage. from the day he'd met her on her first day in the surgery, he had taken a liking to her. everything about her stood out to henrik, like she was the only colour in a crowd. like a rainbow. henrik hadn't felt anything close to that in years.

they were both at the hospital on and off. henrik was allowed more leeway with his absences, maybe because no one ever died on his operating table, maybe because he was one of if not the best surgeon on the ward. ellie was not given leeway. neither of them were a hundred percent certain why, but they had a feeling it was definitely gender related. they knew ellie was just as good as henrik was, despite henrik's secret healing abilities. she didn't deserve any less.

they had somehow started dating. henrik hadn't dated anyone since emolie, and in the beginning, it had been terrifying. for both of them, actually; ellie's ex was an awful person, and it had been hard for her to trust him. it was only after henrik gained the courage to tell her about his ex wife and what she had been like that they managed to properly communicate. that had just helped them bond more. it felt good.

and then it had all gone downhill. ellie left work entirely for her mental health, leaving henrik with just his bastard colleagues again. he began to be filled with that same old overwhelming fear again, the same distrust and paranoia his ex wife had given him. and he'd started ignoring ellie. that was how it had went. he had been an asshole.

he told ellie all this as they walked through the darkening streets, keeping his gaze down towards his blue trainers. despite usually being good with eye contact, he didn't dare to look at her. maybe he was afraid to. he didn't know. in any case, he should have done this months ago.

once he'd finished, everything went very quiet. henrik, in the sensible parts of his mind, knew ellie would never hurt him. he knew she wasn't anything like emolie, despite the similar names. but even knowing all that, he still flinched when she finally spoke. "henrik, you should have told me."

"i know," he mumbled, kicking a rock into a gutter. "i know. i've been an idiot."

ellie placed a gentle hand on his arm. "hey. i understand. i - i often had some of the same… the same thoughts. even though robert was - everything with him was years ago."

"it's the same for me," henrik said softly. a dog barked in the distance, and two shopkeepers talked loudly as they rolled down the shutters for the night. "emolie left a long time ago too. yet i still - i thought it was just me that had this paranoia."

ellie shook her head. "no, no. i get it. i've been going to therapy, and my therapist says that's perfectly natural for people who've experienced abuse."

henrik flinched.

ellie noticed. "are you ok?"

henrik licked his lips, which were suddenly very dry. "mm. i don't know. yes."

ellie giggled. "you don't sound sure."

henrik was about to respond, but someone across the street caught his eye. black jacket, red beanie, blonde hair. henrik furrowed his eyebrows. "chase?"

the man looked up, and yes, it was definitely him. he caught henrik's gaze and stopped, eyes widening visibly. he was crying. then he turned and raced down the street even faster than he was going before, face burning and arms crossed over his chest.

"is that your brother?" ellie asked. she'd only met him once, but chase was a hard man to forget. "is he - is he ok?"

"no idea," henrik muttered, then waved at her apologetically. "i'll - i'll be right back, i swear. chase!" he began to run after his brother. "chase, what - chase!"

"fuck off, henrik," chase spat. he stopped, but didn't turn round as his brother caught up to him. "please, i don't want to talk."

"well, can you at least tell me you're ok?" henrik asked. his mind was going a hundred miles an hour, trying to figure out what could have upset him. he tapped his shoes against the floor. "weren't you out with lucas?"

chase scrubbed at his eyes. "i was, yeah." he glanced up, wincing at henrik's expression. "he didn't do anything, hen. i'm just a fucking idiot. please just go. seriously, i don't fucking want to be around people right now, ok? i don't - just go."

henrik hesitated. "are you sure -"

"yes!" chase suddenly cried. he clutched at his head, sobbing. "fucking shit, henrik, i'm fine, just - ugh!"

he ran off down the road again, the only sound being the slapping of his shoes against the concrete. henrik didn't follow him.

ellie was right where he'd left her. "what happened?" she murmured softly. she looked genuinely worried, too. henrik's heart clenched.

"i don't know," he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. he was so tired. but he also didn't want to pressure chase at all. "i'm - look, ellie, i'm so sorry. whatever happened to me in my past didn't excuse how i treated you, and i swear i'll message or - or visit you again. i'm…" he shook his head. "i'm sorry it took me this long."

ellie took his hand, the contact making him gasp softly. "i'm sorry too. i never thought about what you wanted or how - or how you were feeling. a sick part of me was convinced that i somehow had it worse. and i know how fucked up that is, i know -" she paused, her laugh slightly hysterical. "i'm gonna shut up for now. go after your brother. i'll see you soon, henrik."

he had a lot more he wanted to say, but he knew it could wait. chase needed him more. so with an awkward nod and a trip over his own feet, he began to jog down the street to where chase was going.

marvin was a fucking idiot.

he couldn't believe he'd trusted anti as much as he had. henrik had outright laughed at him when he told his brothers what had happened; how he'd spoken to anti late at night, how he'd asked him if they could talk in the morning, how he'd fallen asleep in front of him instead of keeping watch. and yeah, maybe he was a fool. maybe he should go out and buy himself a new phone to replace the one anti had stole, along with a new table to replace the one anti destroyed, since that was his fucking fault too. like everything was lately. maybe he should do that.

instead, he'd spent the day in bed, half asleep and fucking miserable. he was well aware that now wasn't the time to be wallowing in self pity, but he'd honestly stopped caring. anti could do what he wanted. jackie could do what he wanted. marvin apparently had no bloody say in anything anymore.

he got up once to get a glass of water for his slowly worsening headache. of course, it was then that chase came in, slamming the door shut behind him.

"can you not do that?" marvin snapped, whipping round to face him, but he softened when he saw chase's tear stained face. "oh hey, what's wrong?"

"don't start," chase hissed. his eyes were red from crying, and they were blazing with anger. "i'm fine, don't start with the p-pity."

marvin crossed the room to stand by his side. "did someone hurt you?" he asked, concerned. chase pushed him away, shaking his head.

"no, they didn't, ok? i'm just a fucking idiot and it's my own fault," he said angrily. "it's not always to do with you guys, for fuck's sake."

marvin felt his face heat up. "hey, don't get mad at me. that's helping nobody here. what happened, man?"

chase wiped his face roughly, more tears escaping. "shut up!" he demanded, wrapping his arms around himself. "you don't have to know everything just cause you're big brother now, you don't get to -"

"jeez, chase, what the hell got into you?" marvin shouted over him, taking a step closer. chase scowled and stepped back. "did i do something? if i did, just tell me -"

"i said it was my fault!" chase screamed. and there was something in his voice that made marvin stop and move back, blinking rapidly. "ok? my fault! let me take responsibility for my own actions f-for once, fucking hell, you don't have to be jackie! you can go back to not noticing shit if you want, we'll be fine on our own!"

marvin's chest tightened painfully. "chase - what are you talking about?"

"did you even notice - did you even notice the time when henrik had that panic attack where he hurt his hand because he was trying to get out of a lift?" chase asked, laughing without warmth. "you didn't! you spent that whole weekend out of the house with some guy, didn't you? did jackie ever bother telling you? do you remember the aftermath at all?"

marvin tried to catch a breath. "no," he whispered, mouth dry. "no, but - you can't expect me to -"

"were you - were you th-there for my last relapse?" chase spat, and marvin's heart dropped. "no! you weren't! i doubt you - ha, i doubt you even know it happened! are you surprised? stupid, fuckup chase, ruining all good things for himself yet again!" he laughed, running his fingers through his curls underneath his beanie, which slipped back and fell into his hood. with his hair pulled back, marvin could more clearly see the bald spot where chase's old scar lingered. "you didn't care then, so why should you care now? stop trying to be jackie! you will never be jackie!"

marvin's breaths were getting quicker, blood pumping in his ears. "chase," he said, trying to keep his voice calm. "chase, i've never been -"

"you have!" he cried. "you have, you're trying to replace him and it's not working, you're just making everything worse!"

marvin's fingers were burning, his whole body tingling with grief and magic. "stop yelling, please -"

"just stop trying to fix everything! i want things to go back to how they were before! stop changing, just because jackie changed -"

"chase, shut up, shut up -"

"i want jackie and jamie back, god, i hate this, i hate you, i hate myself -"

"stop it, chase, pl-please, i can't -"

"this isn't fair, just leave me alone -"

"shut - up!"

marvin wasn't sure what happened. it was a rush of anger, self hatred, of leave me alone i want you to stop because you're saying everything that i know is true and it hurts so bad make it stop. then chase and marvin were both on the floor. marvin's head was spinning from the crack to the floor it had taken, his hands burning with unrestrained magic. chase sat up, groaning, rubbing his head. the door behind them clicked, and marvin knew immediately who it would be.

"what the fuck?" came henrik's cry. marvin scrambled to his feet, chase following. "marvin, shit, what did you do?"

"wasn't his fault," chase said quickly, wiping the tears off his face and grabbing the counter for support. "i was being a dick, i shouldn't have -"

henrik whirled on marvin. "you - you used magic on him?"

"it just exploded, it w-wasn't intentional!" chase fretted, waving his hands to get the doctor's attention. "please, hen, i was saying shit 'cause i was upset, i -"

henrik gently pushed past him and faced marvin, anger darkening his face. "after what's happening with jackie, you turn on us too? are you going to hurt us next? what the hell is wrong with you?"

"henrik!" chase grabbed his arm, trying to pull him away from marvin. "please, stop, i swear he wasn't doing it maliciously -"

"maybe jackie didn't start hurting maliciously!" henrik shouted. "i have to keep us safe! marvin already wants us letting murderers into our house -"

"you agreed -"

"and look where it got us!" henrik shoved chase behind him like he was shielding him, glaring up at marvin and pushing him onto the ruined table, riddled with stab wounds. "look at us! i thought - i thought we could handle this ourselves, but we can't, this is pathetic! look at us!" his voice broke, and he suddenly backed down, clamping both hands over his mouth. "oh mein gott, look at us."

he slumped down on the floor, leaning his back against the oven. chase crouched down in front of him, glancing helplessly up at marvin like he hadn't been screaming at him minutes prior. like he hadn't revealed exactly what he thought of marvin, like he didn't think he was just a copy of jackie. but then again, "copy of jackie" was the best they had. maybe marvin was a better copy of jackie than he was a brother.

slowly, numbly, he stepped over his brothers towards the door. his ears were ringing, though whether it was his tinnitus, anti, or the angry echoes of his own magic, marvin didn't know. his head was spinning like he'd been hit, which, well - he had hit his head off the floor. that was his fault. just like everything else.

he left and didn't turn back.

ok, getting as drunk as he was when he was so upset had, in fact, been a terrible idea.

he laughed to himself in spite of it all. yes, he was laughing out loud by himself in the middle of a club, sitting on the sidelines and knocking back his fifth lemon vodka of the night. he was at his favourite nightclub, cheers - the nightclub that had a reputation for an incredible amount of stabbings. it was also the most fun to hang out in, even by himself. though it appeared he wouldn't be alone for long; a dark haired man with a green bandana and a half unbuttoned dress shirt was sidling up to him, glass in hand.

"haven't seen you here before," was how he introduced himself, a smirk on his face. marvin barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. he wasn't so drunk that he couldn't see how new this guy was to this kind of thing.

"y'must be new round here, then," marvin smiled, voice only slightly slurred. he raised an eyebrow at the man's flushed face and shifted aside in his booth to let him sit beside. "i happen to come here quite often."

marvin was never sure what he wanted anymore. did he want to go home with a random guy to help him think of anything else but his out of control magic, his brother's horrified, furious faces, his burning hands and spinning head? he didn't think he did. then again, maybe it'd be nice. maybe he didn't care. fuck, this was awful, but here he was anyway.

the other man sat down, too close to marvin, his fingers brushing against his thighs in a way marvin normally wouldn't allow so soon into a hookup. he didn't say anything. he just tilted his head, leaning closer to the man's face. "what's your name then, stranger?"

"matthew," he murmured. his eyes were brown, his face pale. marvin searched him for any interesting features, anything that he might remember him by afterwards. there was nothing. "and you?"

marvin didn't even hesitate. "adrien," he lied, and turned his head to sip his drink. the world was spinning. he wanted it to stop. "'m adrien. who you with? anyone here?"

matthew shook his head, biting his bottom lip in the most unsubtle way possible. "nope. just me, myself, and i." he grinned, showing gap teeth. marvin stared. he suddenly realized that he absolutely couldn't do this, not tonight.

someone was standing behind them, blocking the light.

"hey," came a deep voice. "leave him alone, asshole."

marvin and matthew both turned. a tall, muscled man with chin length black hair and a thick beard was behind their booth, glaring at matthew. "fuck off away from him," the man said. "can't you see how drunk he is? bloody dickwad. get the fuck away."

matthew opened and closed his mouth, eyes bulging. like a fish. marvin giggled a little at the image, and the tall man helped marvin to stand as matthew scurried off to a different corner of the club, only looking back to sneer at them angrily.

"hey," marvin protested as the stranger led him away. "i wanted to sleep with him."

"no you didn't," the stranger said. he kept a firm hold on marvin's arm as they walked, steering him towards the door and out into the cold autumn air. the sudden lack of lights and loud music made his head clear slightly, and he yawned, thinking. the man kept talking. "you have a girlfriend, anyway."

"naomi's not my girlfriend," marvin said loudly, stumbling on the front steps. "she's my best friend. i set her door on fire once. i also made her really sad, sent her into a breakdown, d'y'know? who are you? i don't know you."

the man visibly rolled his eyes. "you know, for such a smart man, you're not very bright when you're drunk," he muttered. marvin noticed that the more he spoke, the more irish the man's accent became. "do you always use such bad coping mechanisms? christ, and i thought i was bad - actually, wait, i'm one to talk. especially about - shit. you know what i'm saying."

marvin actually had no clue what he was saying, but he listened to the man ramble anyway. he couldn't seem to stop talking. "i thought i could leave you alone for five bloody minutes, but no, you flip out and decide the best way to cope is to fuck some guy in a sketchy ass nightclub - what is wrong with you, man? go to therapy. do you go to therapy, kitty? you definitely should. swear to god, you lot are like a bunch of kids. i could kill you right now and you wouldn't stop me, would you? pfft, you're not even gonna remember this tomorrow morning. fuck's sake."

it was a while before marvin realized he had no clue where they were. "where're we going?" he slurred. his hands were empty. how long had they been empty? "i lost my drink."

"you didn't lose it, i took it. this body can actually handle alcohol, you know that? how weird. and i'm taking you the fuck home, asshole. you're lucky you're not as much of a dick as your brothers."

his brothers? marvin's head shot up, and he gasped loudly. "i can't go home!" he cried. "henrik'll kill me! man, i can't - don't have your name, sorry - can't go home, i can't, i can't."

the man groaned loudly. "oh, fuck's sake," he grumbled. "gods, i'll call us a taxi to take us to the nearest hotel. christ on a goddamn bike, i hate you..."

marvin leaned his head on the man's chest while they waited for said taxi to come. the man cleared his throat. "ok, i know you're a clingy bastard, but can you get off of me? i don't like being touched without permission."

"you're warm, though," marvin mumbled. "'m tired and you're warm. my brothers all hate me now, they do. i have - my big brother, jackie, he's gone all evil 'n shit now. i wasn't good enough for him. my other big brother stabbed my table. stole my phone. henrik laughed at me for it."

the man hissed through his teeth. "yikes, your big brothers sound like right douchebags," he said, sounding like he was holding back a laugh. "especially that second one. who stabs a table? what an asshole."

marvin nodded sleepily in agreement. "yeah. i trusted him but he let me down 'n my little brother laughed at me for it. i wanted to ask him about m'other big brother. his name's jackie, i love him so much, but he was so horrible." the other man visibly flinched. marvin obliviously kept going. "i wanted to know what he did. you know he - he cut off my brother's t-tongue? he cut it right off. i can't believe he'd ever -" marvin's stomach lurched. "i'm gonna be sick."

not a second later, he did exactly as threatened. the man yelped and jumped away, making disgusted noises. "oh, kitten, gross," he groaned. "fuck's sake. look, the taxi's here, thank the stars. mind your step, don't stand in the vom - ok, here we go."

marvin laid his head on the man's shoulders the whole drive. some part of him screamed at him to not be an idiot, don't get in a taxi with a stranger, especially as drunk as he was now - but another part of him felt like this man was familiar. it felt right. he wasn't sure why. "what's your name again?" he managed at one point, right as the car began to pull over.

"doesn't matter," said the stranger. he unbuckled his seat belt. "we're here. get out, asshole, come on."

"have a nice night," the driver told them. the man didn't say anything in response, just helped marvin up and onto the pavement on shaky legs. he squinted at the building in front of them.

"i don't have the money for a hotel like this," he said. he swayed on his feet, his stomach roiling. "i need to go somewhere else."

"i'll fucking pay," the man said. he was rifling through a wallet, making faces at the contents. "apparently i'm bloody loaded, fantastic. come on, magician, act like you're not drunk for two minutes."

"i'm not drunk," marvin announced loudly.

the man clapped his back. "that's the spirit," he said cheerfully. as they went inside, the bright lights of the hotel made marvin's eyelids feel even heavier. he closed his eyes and clung to the man's arm tightly, yawning.

it felt like only a second later that he was being shaken awake again. "i didn't know it was possible to fall asleep standing, but here we are," the stranger joked. "i got you a room. here's your key. room 146. now go."

marvin blinked. "huh?"

the man heaved a sigh. "oh, boy." then he cleared his throat, speaking in a much louder voice, like he was talking to a child. "i got you a hotel room so you don't have to go home and face the consequences of your own actions. go inside before i change my mind and gut you."

another yawn ripped out of marvin's throat. "mm. ok." he was too tired to question it. he took the key from the other man's hands and inspected it. "ok. so what… what's your name again? i think you told me, but i have a bad memory. i think. i don't 'member."

the man facepalmed, dragging his hands down his face. "my fucking gods. the fact that i haven't murdered you yet astounds me. my name is... berlin, if you really must know. although you'll definitely forget that in the morning. now get to your room, i'm not standing here forever."

marvin just nodded. the night had been so weird already, this might as well be happening. he wasn't even paying attention to his surroundings, just letting himself be guided and eventually, somehow, collapsing on a bed and falling asleep.

anti wasn't sure why he'd done it.

maybe it was just the euphoria of realizing that out of all his powers, he'd been left with possession. he'd been following kitten around for days, just to keep an eye on him. partially because he felt very slightly bad about stabbing his table and stealing his belongings, partially because… the magician had been kind to him in a way that literally no one else had for so long. anti wasn't entirely certain of why he did anything anymore. it was kind of annoying, actually.

he'd taken the body of some man smoking in an alleyway and spent about ten minutes talking out loud to himself as he paced and finished the cigarette - might as well, didn't want to waste it. anti swore he'd almost forgotten how to talk after so long the way he was. drinking and eating without pain was so weird, so strange. it had been amazing. he'd been so caught up in exhilaration of being able to speak that he almost completely forgot about kitten, who had apparently decided that hooking up with a stranger would solve his problems. anti decided to spare him the embarrassment and scooped him out of there, even renting him a hotel room using the money he'd been planning to nick for himself. see, i can do nice things! he thought to himself. take that, doctor!

it was only afterwards that he really questioned why. this wasn't just something he did for no reason; when anti did nice things, it was always for his own personal gain. he hadn't gotten anything out of this but a fucking headache. what had been the point?

a year ago, anti would have been delighted at the thought of kitten suffering, of him hurting, crying, drunk and alone in a sketchy nightclub. now… anti didn't derive as much pleasure from the thought as he normally would. not that he was getting attached to kitten. he'd already formed something like that with one person, and anti liked to keep all his eggs in one basket, thank you very much.

he was just waiting, he told himself. waiting for the right time to strike. waiting for the perfect opportunity. waiting for…

he knew he was lying to himself. but he closed his eyes and resolved to let himself just a little longer.

#jacksepticeye #boop writes #chase brody #marvin the magnificent #henrik von schneeplestein #antisepticeye #lucas ross #the fall

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coffee-ack · 4 years ago

Text

the entire shrek script is going to be my first post in 2021

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by Love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. Like that's ever going to happen. What a loony. Shrek Beware Stay out I think he's in here. All right. Lets get it! Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? Yeah. He'll groan into your bones for his brains. Well actually that would be a giant. Now Ogres, huh, they are much worse. They'll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin. They'll chew your livers, squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Actually, it's quite good on toast. Back, back beast, back! I warned you! Right. This is the part, where you run away. Yeah! And stay out. Wanted. Fairytale creatures. Right, this one is full. Take it away. Give me that. Your fine days are over. -25 pieces of silver for the witch. Next. -Come on. Sit down there! And be quiet! This cage is so small. You wouldn't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please, give me another chance. Oh, shut up! Next. What do we got? This little wooden puppet. I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy. Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. No! Please, don't let them do it! Next. What do you got? Well, I've got a talking donkey! Right. Well that's good for ten schillings, if you can prove it. Oh, go ahead fella. Well? He's just a li..., just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. You boneheaded donkey! That's it. I have heard enough. Guards! No, no, he talks, he does! I can talk. I love to talk. I've talked to... Get her out of my sight! -No, no, I swear! Hey, I can fly. -He can fly! -He can fly! He can talk! -That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey! You might have seen house fly, maybe even a superfly. But I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Seize him! Get him! This way! Hurry! You there. Ogre. -I. By the order of lord Farquaad. I am authorized to place you both under arrest. And transport you to designated resettlement facility. Oh really? You and what army? Can I say something to you? Listen, you were really, really something, back there. Incredible. Are you talking to... ...me? Yes, I was talking to you. Can I just tell you that you were really great back there with those guards. They thought that was all over there. And then you showed up and BAM. There was tripping on over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. Oh, that's great. Really. Man, it's good to be free. Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? But I... I don't have any friends. And I'm not going out there by myself. Hey wait a minute. I have a great idea... I'll stick with you. You and me in green fighting machine. Together we'll scare the spin if anybody crosses us. Oh, a, that was really scary. Maybe you don't mine me saying. If that don't work, your breath will certainly do the job done, 'cause... you definitively need some tic-tac or something, 'cause your breath stinks! Man you've ??? my note! Just like the time... ...and then I ate some rotten berries. Man I had some strong gases leaking out of my but that day. Why are you following me? I'll tell you why. 'Cause I'm all alone, there is no one here, beside me. My problems have all gone. There's no one to derive me. But you got to have free ... -Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder, you don't have any friends. Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest. Listen! Little donkey. Take a look at me! What am I? A... ...really tall? No! I'm an Ogre. You know, grab your torch and pitchforks. Doesn't that bother you? Nope. Really? -Really really. Oh? Man, I like you. What's your name? A..., Shrek. Shrek?! But do you know, what I like about you, Shrek? You've got that kind of: "I don't care what nobody thinks of me" thing. I like that, I respect that, Shrek. You're all right. Uh, look at that. Who would wanna live in a place like that? That would be my home. Oh, it is lovely. Just beautiful. You know you're quite a decorator. It's amazing what you did with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. I guess, you don't entertain much, do you? I like my privacy. You know I do to. That's another thing, we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You try to give them a hint and they won't leave. And then there's that big occurred silence, you know? Can I stay with you? -What? Can I stay with you, please. Of course! -Really? No. -Please! I don't want to go back there. You don't how is like to be concerned like a freak. Well..., maybe you do. But that's why we have to stick together! You got to let me stay! Please! Please! OK, OK. -But one night only. -Huh, thank you! A, what are you do... No! This is going to be fun. We can stay up late, swap the manly stories. And in the morning... I'm making waffles. Where do I sleep? Outside! Oh, a, I guess that's cool. You know, I don't know you and you don't know me... ... so I guess, outside is best for me. Here I go. Good night. I do like that half door. I'm a donkey all alone outside. Sit by myself outside, I guess. I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me. -I thought, I told you to stay outside. -I am outside. Well James. This is far from the farm, but what choice do we have? It's not... What a lovely bed. -Got you! I found some cheese. Awful stuff. -Is that you Gordon? -How did you know? Enough! What are you doing in my house? Oh, no, no, no... Death prods off the table! Where would we supposed to put her. The bed's taken. What? I live in a swamp. I've put up signs. I'm a terrifying Ogre! What do I have to do, to get a little privacy? Oh, no! No, no! What are you doing in my swamp? All right, get out of here. All of you. Move it! Come on, let's go. And hurry up, hurry up. No, no, not there. Not there! Hey don't look at me. I didn't invite them. Oh gosh, no one invited us. -What? We were forced to come here. -By who? Lord Farquaad. He ??? All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? Oh I do. I know where he is. Does anyone else know where to find him? -Anyone at all? -Me. -Anyone? Oh pick me, I know! Me, me. Ok, fine. Attention all fairy tale things! Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially warned up. In fact. I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get all off my land and back where you came from. You. You're coming with me. All right. That's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stubborn friends off on a world and big city adventure. I love it. I'm on road again. Sing with me Shrek! I'm on road again... What did I say about singing? -Can I whistle? -No. -Well, can I hummer? -All right. That's enough. He's ready to talk. Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man. You monster. I'm not a monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world. -Now tell me! Where are the others? -Eat me. I've tried to be fair to you, creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! -Tell me! Or I'll... -No, no, not the buttons. Not gumdrop buttons. All right! Who's hiding them? Ok, I'll tell you. -Do you know the muffin-man? -The muffin-man? -The muffin-man. -Yes, I know the muffin-man. Who lives on Proully lane? -Well, she's married to the muffin-man. -The muffin-man! -The muffin-man! -She's married to the muffin-man. My lord! We found it. Well then, what are you waiting for? Bring it in. Magic mirror. Don't tell him anything! Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? Well, technically, you're not a king. A..., felonious. -You were saying. -What I mean is a... ...you're not a king, yet. But you can become one. All you have to do, is marry a princess. Go on. So, just sit back and relax my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are. Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shading from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hottubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for two evil sisters. Please welcome... Cinderella. Bachelorette number two is a kemp wearing girl from a land of fantasy. Although she lives with seven other man, she is not easy. Just kiss hers dead frozen lips and find out what a live wife she is. Come on. Give it up for... Show-white. And last but certainly not least. Bachelorette number three is a fire-breathing ????, dragon guarded castle, surrounded by a hot boiling lava. But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes Pina Coladas and getting cut in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona. So will it be, bachelorette number one? Bachelorette number two? Or bachelorette number three? -Two... -Three! -Two! One. No, no, no. Three. Pick number three my lord. Ok, ok. Number three. Lord Farquaad. You've chosen... princess Fiona. She's nice. Fiona. She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone... But I probably should mention little thing that happens at night... -I'll do it! -Yes, but after sunset... Silence! I will make this princess Fiona my queen. And Duloc will finally have the perfect king! Captain! Assemble your finest man. We're going to have a tournament! That's it, that's, right there, that's Duloc. I've told you I'll find it. So. That must be lord Farquaad's castle. Aha, that's the place. Do you think maybe he's compensating for something. Hey, hey wait up Shrek! -Hey, you! -No, no! Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just... It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody? Hey look at this. Wow! -Let's do that again. -No. no. All right. You're going the right way for smack bottom. Sorry about that. That champion should have the honor, no, no... ...the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely princess Fiona from the fireing keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner up will take his place. And so on, and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Applause. Let the tournament begin. What is that? Ugh, it's hideous. Oh, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey. Indeed. Knights! New plan. The one, who kills the Ogre, will be named champion. How about him. Oh, hey. Now, come on. Can't we just settle this over a pint? No? All right then. Come on. Hey Shrek! Let me, let me! The chair! Give him the chair! Thank you. Thank you, very much. I'm here until Thursday. Try the wheel! Shall I give the order sir? No. I have a better idea. People of Duloc. I give you our champion! What? Congratulation, Ogre. You've won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. Quest? I'm already on a quest. A quest to get my swamp back! -Your swamp? -Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those fairytale creatures. Indeed. All right Ogre, I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me and I'll give you your swamp back. Exactly the way it was? Down to the last slime covered toast tool. -And the squatters? -As good as gone. What kind of quest? Ok, let me get this straight! We gonna go find the dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back the swamp, which you only don't have, 'cause he filled it with full of freaks on the first place. -Is that about right? -You know what? Maybe there is a good reason, donkeys shouldn't talk. I don't get it Shrek. Why didn't you just pull some old Ogre stuff on them? You know, ??? . Grab his bones to make you brave. You know the whole Ogre trick. Oh, you know what. Maybe I could have decapitated entire village and put their heads on plate. Got a knife, cut open their spleens and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? A, no, not really, no. For your information, there is a lot more to Ogres than people think. -Example. -Example? OK, A-a-m, Ogres are like onions. -They stink? -Yes, no. -O, they make you cry. -No. Oh, you leave them out on the sun and they get all brown and start ??? little wild hairs? No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. O, you both have layers. You know not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes. Cakes have layers. I don't care what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes. You know what else everyone likes? Paffe. Have you ever met a person and you say: "Hey, let's get some paffe" and they say I don't like paffe. Paffe is delicious. No! You tensed, irritating, miniature peace of barden. Ogres are like onions. End of story. Bye, bye. See you lather. Paffe is maybe the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. You know I think I've preferred your humming. Do you have a tissue or something, 'cause I'm making a mess. Just the word paffe has made me start slimying Why, Shrek, did you do that? Man you got to warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was opened and everything. Believe me donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. It's brimstone. We must be getting close. Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking ??? brimstone. I know what I smell and ??? no brimstone. And they don't come of stone neither. Sure it's big enough, but look at the location. Oh, Shrek, remember when you said that Ogres have layers? Oh, yeah. Well, I have a confession to make. Donkeys don't have layers. We wear ??? sleeves. Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves. -You know what I mean. -Oh, you can't tell me you're afraid of highs. No, I'm just a little uncomfortable of being on a rickety bridge over boiling lake of lava! Come on donkey, I'm right here beside you. Ok? For emotional support. We'll just hackle this thing together one little baby step after time. -Really? -Really really. Ok. That makes me feel so much better. Just keep moving and don't look down. Don't look down, don't look down. Shrek! I'm looking down! I can't do this. Just let me off right now, please. -But you're already half way. -Yeah, but I know that half is safe. Ok, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back. Shrek, no, wait. Don't do that! Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? -Oh. This? -Yes, that! Yes, yes. Do it. OK. -No, Shrek! -I'm doing it. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. That will do Donkey, that will do. Cool. So where is this fire breathing pain in the neck anyway? Inside. Waiting for us to rescue her. I was talking about the dragon Shrek. -Are you afraid? -No, but shhhhh. Oh, good. Me neither. Because there's nothing wrong with being afraid. Here's a..., something responsible of the situation. Not to mention dangerous situation. And there's dragon that breathes fire. I'm sure he's meaner than a cow or anything, but they're scare. You know what I mean. I'm sure he's heavier than a cow... Donkey. Two things. Ok? Shut, up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs. Stairs? I thought we were looking for the princess. The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. What makes you think she'll be there? I read it in a book once. Cool. You handle the dragon, I'll handle the stairs. Oh, I'll find those stairs. I'll ???. That's right. Those stairs won't know which way they go. The drafting stairs, ??? Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I'm master of the stairs. I wish I had a stair right here right here now, I'd step all over it. Well, at least we know where the princess is. -But where is the... -Dragon! Donkey, look out! Got you. Oh, what large teeth you have. I mean, white sparkling teeth. You probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach yourself, because that is one dashing smile you got there. And do I detect the hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You're a girl dragon. Oh, sure. I mean 'course you're a girl dragon, 'cause you're just ricking the feminine beauty out. What's the matter with you? Do you have something in your eye? Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know I'm a asthmatic and I don't know if we would worked out. You'd be blowing smoke and stuff. Shrek! No, Shrek! Shrek! -Wake up! -What? Are you princess Fiona? I am. Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. Oh, that's nice. Now let's go. But wait, sir knight. This be our first meeting. Should not be wonderful, romantic moment? Yeah. Sorry lady there's no time. Hey, what are you doing? You know, you should sweep me out of my feet. Out through the window and down the rope by to your valued steed. You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? Uh-um. But we have to sing through this moment. You can residing of a poem to me. A ballad, a sonnet, a libretti. Or something. I don't think so. Well, can I at least know a name of my champion? Shrek. So, Shrek. I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. Thanks. -You didn't slay the dragon? -It's not my job to do this. Now, come on! But this isn't right. ??? That's what all the other knights did. Yeah. Right before they burst in the flame. That's not the point. Wait. Where are you going? Exit is over there. Well, I have to save my ass. What kind of knight are you? One of a kind. ...rush into a physical relationship. I'm not that emotionally ready for commitment of a this magnitude. That was the word I was looking for. Magnitude. Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Ok, ok, let's just back up a little and take this one step at the time. I mean, we really should get to know each other first, you know what am I saying. As friends, maybe even as ??? Hey don't do that. That's my tail. That's ma personal tail. And you're going to tear it off.... Oh, no. No! -It talks?! -Yeah. It's getting to shut up, that's a trick. Ok, you two. Head for the exit. I'll take care of the dragon. Ruuuuun! You did it. You rescued me. Amizing, you're wonderful. You're a ... ...a little unorthodox I admit, but by deed is great and by heart is pure. I'm entirely in your debt. And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed. I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She thinks I'm a steed. The battle is won. You may remove your helmet good sir knight. -Aah, no. -Why not? I have helmet hair. Please. I wouldst look upon the face of my rescuer. Oh, no, you wouldn't, dust. But, how will you kiss me? What? That wasn't in a job description. -Maybe it's a perk? -No. It's destiny. You must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and besieged by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight. And then they share true love's first kiss. With Shrek? You think, wait... ...you think Shrek is your true love? Well, yes. You think that Shrek is your true love. What is so funny? Let's just say, I'm not your type, ok? Of course you are. You're my rescuer. Now, now remove your helmet. Look. I really don't think this is a good idea. -Just take off the helmet. -I'm not going to. -Take it off! -No! -Now! -Ok, easy. As you command your highness. You're an Ogre. Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming. Well, yes, actually. Oh no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an Ogre. Princess, I was sent to rescue you by lord Farquaad, ok? He's the one, who wants to marry you. Well, then why didn't he come to rescue me? Good question. You should ask him that, when we get there. But I have to be rescued by my true love. Not by some Ogre and his pet. Well so much for noble steed. Look princess. You're not making my job any easier. Well I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here. Hey, I'm no ones messenger boy, all right? -I'm a delivery boy. -You wouldn't dare. -You coming donkey? -Put me down! Yeah, I'm right behind you. Put me down or you will suffer the consequences. This is not dignified. Put me down. Ok, here's another question. Let's say that a woman 'digged' you, but you don't really like her, that way. Now, how you let her down real easy, so her feelings aren't hurt? But you don't get burned to a crisp neither. How do you do this? Just tell her, she's not your true love. Everyone knows it what happens when you find... Hey! The sooner we get to Duloc, the better. Oh, yeah. You gonna love it there princess. It's beautiful. And what of my groom to be, lord Farquaad. What's he like? Well, let me put it this way, princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. Oh no, Shrek. There are those who think little of him. Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You know, you're just jealous that you can never measure up to a great ruler like lord Farquaad. Yeah. Well maybe you're right princess. But I'd like you do that measuring when you see him tomorrow Tomorrow? It will take that long? -Shouldn't we stop to make camp? -No. That would take longer. We can keep going. But there are robbers in the woods. Whoa, time out Shrek. Camp is definitely something that sounds good. Hey. Come on. I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest. I need to find somewhere to camp, now! Hey, over here. Shrek, we can do better than that. Now, I don't think this is decent for princess. No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. Homey touches? Like what? A door. Well, gentleman I'll be d..., good night. Do you want me to come in and read you a bedtime story, 'cause I will... I said good night! Shrek! What are you doing? I just..., you know... Oh, come on, I was just kidding. And that one, that's Throwback. The only Ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields. Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future form these stars? Well, the stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look. There's Blodna, the "Flatulent" You can guess what he is famous for. All right. Now I know you're making this up. No. Look. There he is and there's the group of hunters running away from his stag. Man, there ain't nothing, but a bunch of little dots. You know donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Forget it. Hey Shrek. What are you gonna do when we get our swamp back, anyway? -Our swamp? -You know. When we're through rescuing the princess and all that stuff. We? Donkey, there is no we. There's no our. There's just me and my swamp. And the first thing I'm gonna do, is build a ten foot wall around my land. You cut me deep Shrek, you cut me real deep just now. You know, what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. No, do you think? -Are you hiding something? -Never mind Donkey. Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? No. This is one of those drop it and leave it alone things. -Why don't you want to talk about it? -Why do you want to talk about it? -Oh, Why you block? -I'm not blocking. -Oh yes you are. -Donkey, I'm warning you. -Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that Shrek. Who? Everyone, ok? -Oh, now we're getting somewhere. -Oh, for 'the love of pit'. Hey, what's your problem Shrek? What do you got against the whole world anyway? Look. I'm not the one with the problem, ok? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go: AAA... Help! Run! A big stupid ugly Ogre. They judge me, before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone. You know what? When we met, I didn't think you're just a big stupid, ugly Ogre. Yeah, I know. So, a... Are there any donkeys up there? Well, there's a Cabby. The small and annoying. Ok, ok. I see him, now. Big shining one, right there. That one, over there? That's the moon. Again. Show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess. Perfect. Yeah. You know I like like that. Oh come on baby... -Donkey. Wake up. -What? -Wake up. Morning. How do you like your eggs? -Good morning princess. -What's all this about? You know, we kind of got of to a bad start yesterday and I wanted to make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me. Thanks. Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us. -Shrek! -What? It's a compliment. Better out than in I always say. But that's no way to behave in front of a princess. -Thanks. -She's as nasty as you are. You know. You're not exactly what I've expected. Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. Princess! What are you doing? ???mon shery, for I am your saviour. And I am rescuing you from this green...beast. Hey! That's my princess. Go find your own. Please, monster. Can't you see I'm a little busy here? Look, pal. I don't know who you think you are. Oh, of course. How rude that was. Please, let me introduce myself. Oh marry men! Man, that was annoying. Oh, you little... Shall we? ???all the forin??? Whoa, hold on, now. Where did that come from? -What? -That. Back there. That was amazing. Where did you learn that? Well, when one lives alone one has to learn these things in case there's a... There is an arrow in your butt. What? Oh, would you look at that. Oh, no... This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. -What's wrong? -Shrek's hurt. -Shrek's hurt? Shrek's hurt! -Oh, no. Shrek's going to die. -Donkey, I'm ok. You can't do this to me Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. Keep your legs elevated. Turn your head ???. -Does anyone know how to handle... -Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Ok, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Don't die Shrek. And if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! -Donkey! -Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. -What are the flowers for? -For getting rid of the Donkey. Now, you hold still and I'll yank this thing out. -Hey! Easy with the yanking. -I'm sorry, but it has to come out. No, no. It's tender. What you're doing here is the opposite... -Don't move. -Ok, look. Time out. -Would you... Ok. What do you propose we do? Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't colorblind. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Hold on, Shrek. I'm coming! Not good. Ok, ok, I can lose it. It's just about it. Nothing happened. We were just a... Look if you want to be alone, all you had to do is ask, ok? Oh, come on. That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just... Au! Hey, what's that? Is that... There it is, princess. -Your future awaits you. -That's Duloc? Yeah. I know. You'll shrink things lord Farquaad is compensating for something, which I think needs, he has a I guess we better move on. Sure, but Shrek... -I'm worried about Donkey. -What? I mean. Look at him. He doesn't look so good. -What are you talking about? I'm fine. -Well, that's what they always say. And the next thing you know you're on your back. -Dead! -You know she's right. You look awful. -Do you want to sit down? -You know, I'll make you up some tea. Well, I won't say nothing, but I've got this twinge in my neck. And if I turn my neck like this, look. Au, see? -He's hungry. I'll find us some dinner. -I'll get the firewood. Hey, where are you going? Oh man, I can't feel my thumbs. I don't have any thumbs!!! I think I need a hug. This is good. This is really good. -What is this? -Wheat rat. -Rotisserie style. -No kidding. -Oh, this is delicious. -Well, they also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean wheat rat stew. I guess I'll be dining a little different late tomorrow night. Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you. Swamp toast, soup fish, eye tartar. You name it. I'd like that. -Ah... , princess? -Yes, Shrek? I'm a.... I was wondering. Are you... a... Are you gonna eat that? Man, isn't this romantic. Just look at that sunset. Sunset?! Oh, no. It's late. It's very late. -What? -Wait a minute. I see what's going on here. You're afraid of the dark. Aren't you? Yes, yes. That's it. That's, I'm terrified. You know I'll better go inside. But don't feel bad, princess. I used to be afraid of the dark too. Until... Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark. -Good night. -Good night. Ahh. Now I really see what's going on here. Oh, what are you talking about. Hey I don't wanna even hear. Look, I'm an animal and I got instincts. And I know that you two are digging on each other. I can feel it. Oh, you're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad. Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the fairemones. Just go in there and tell her how you feel. There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that... well you know. I'm not saying that I do, 'cause I don't. She's a princess and I'm... ...an Ogre. Yeah, an Ogre. -Hey, where are you going? -To get more firewood. Princess. Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you? Princess? It's very spooky in here and are we playing little games. -No, no. -Help! Shrek! Shrek! -No. -Shrek! -It's ok. It's ok. -What did you do with the princess? -Donkey, shhh. I'm the princess. -It's me, in this body. -Oh my god. You ate the princess. -Can you hear me? -Donkey! Listen, keep breathing. I'll get you out of there! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! This is me. Princess? What happened to you? You're a... different. -I'm ugly, ok? -Yeah. Was it something that you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats were a bad idea. -You are what you eat, I say. -No. I've been this way as long as I can remember. What do you mean? Look, I've never seen you like this before. It only happens when the sun goes down. By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm until you find true love's first kiss. Then, take love's true form... -Oh, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry. -It's the spell. When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this. This horrible ugly beast. I was placed in a tower to await the day when my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry lord Farquaad tomorrow, before the sun sets and he sees me, like this? All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not that ugly. Wait, wait, I'll not lie, you are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24/7. But Donkey, I'm a princess. And this is not how a princess is meant to look. Princess. How about if you don't marry Farquaad? I have to. Only my true love's kiss can brake the spell. But you know, you're kind of an Ogre. And Shrek... Well you've got a lot in common. Shrek? Princess, I... How is it going first of all? Good? Good for me to. I'm ok. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty. And, well, I don't really like it, but I thought you may like it, because you're pretty. But I like you anyway. A.... I'm in trouble. Ok, here we go. Who could ever love a piece so hideous and ugly? Princess and ugly don't go together. That's why I can't stay here with Shrek, but only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love. Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only way to break the spell. Well, at least you've got tell Shrek the truth. No, no. You can't breathe the word. No one must ever know. What's the point of being unable to talk? You got to keep secrets. Promise you won't tell. Promise! You know, before this is over, I'm going to need whole lot of serious therapies. All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. Look at my eye twitching. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him. I tell him not. I tell him! Shrek! Shrek! There's something I want ... Shrek. Are you all right? Perfect. Never been better. I... There's something I have to tell you. You don't have to tell me anything, princess. I heard enough last night. -You've heard what I said? -Every word. I thought you'd understand? Oh, I understand! Like you said, who could love a hideous, ugly beast! -I thought that wouldn't matter to you. -Yeah, well, it does. Ah, right on time. Princess. I brought you a little something. What I missed? What I missed? -Princess Fiona. -As promised. Now hand it over. Very well, Ogre. The deed to your swamp. Cleared out as agreed. Take it and go. Before I change my mind. Forgive me princess for startling you, but you startled me. For I've never seen such a radiant beauty before. -I am lord Farquaad. -Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no... forgive me my lord for I was just saying short... farewell. Oh. That is so sweet. You don't have to raise good manners on the Ogre. -It's not like it has feelings. -No. You're right. It doesn't. Princess Fiona, beautiful fair flawless Fiona, I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom? Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make... Excellent! I'll start the plans for tomorrow we wedd... No! I mean I... Why wait? Let's get married today. Before sunset. Oh, anxious are we? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do. There is the camera, the cake, the band, the guests... Captain! Round up some guests. Farewell Ogre. Shrek, what are you doing? You let her get away. -Yeah, so what. -Shrek. There's something about her that you don't know. -I talked to her last night. She's... -Yeah I know you talked to her last night. You're great pal, aren't you? Now, if you two are such good friend, why didn't you follow her home? -Shrek. I want to go with you. -I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone. My swamp, me and nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! -But. I thought... -Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong. Shrek. Donkey? What are you doing? I was thinking of all the people, you would recognize a wall when you see one. Well, yeah. But the wall supposed to go around my swamp. Not through it. It is around your half. See? That's your half and this is my half. Oh, your half? Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head -Back off! -No. You back off! -This is my swamp. -Our swamp. -Let go, Donkey! -You let go! -Stubborn jackass. -Smelly Ogre. Fine! Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you, yet. -Well, I'm through with you! -Well, you know. You were always me, me, me. Well, guess what? Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me, you insult me, you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? Because that's what friend do. They forgive each other! Oh, yeah. You're right Donkey. I forgive you for stabbing me in the back! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy. You're afraid of your own feelings. -Go away. -See? There you are, doing it again. Just like you did it to Fiona. And all she ever do, was like you. Maybe even love you. Love me? She said I was ugly! A hideous creature. -I heard that you two were talking. -She wasn't talking about you. She was talking about... ...somebody else. She wasn't talking about me? Well then, who was she talking about? No way, I'm not saying anything. You won't listen to me, right? Right? -Donkey. -No! Ok, look. I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big stupid, ugly Ogre. Can you forgive me? -Hey, that's the friends are for, right? -Right. -Friends? -Friends. So? What did Fiona said about me? Why are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her. The wedding! We'll never make it in time! Never fear! For where there is a will, there is a way. And I have I way. Donkey? -I guess this is just my act of magnetism. -Oh, come here, you. All right. All right. Don't get all started. No one likes kissass. All right, hop on. Hold on tight. I hadn't have a chance to install seat belts, yet. People of Duloc. We gather here today to bear witness to reunion of our new king... Excuse me. Could you just skip ahead to "I do's"? Go on. Go ahead and have some fun, if we need you, I'll whistle. How about that? Shrek, wait, wait a minute. You want to do this right, don't you? -What are you talking about? -It's the line, it's the line you got to wait for. The priest is going to say: "Speak now or forever hold your peace". And that's where you say: "I object". -I don't have time for this. -Wait, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this woman, don't you? -Yes. -You want to hold her! -Yes. -Please her! -Yes! Then you got to, got to try a little tender love. -The chicks love that romantic crap. -All right. Cut it out. When does this guy say the line? We got to check it out. And as so by the power of these two... What do you see? -I now pronounce you... -There they go! -...he all ready said it. -Oh, for 'the love of pit'. I object! Shrek? Oh, now what does he want? Hi, everyone. Having a good time, aren't you? I love Duloc, first of all. Very clean. -What are you doing here? -Really, it's rude enough being alive, when no one wants you. But showing up uninvited to a wedding... -Fiona! I need to talk to you. -Oh, now you wanna talk? Well it's a little late for that. So if you'll excuse me. -But you can't marry him! -And why not? Because, because he's just marrying you so he can be king. -Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him. -He's not your true love. -What do you know about true love? -Well, I ...I'm in... Oh, this is precious. The Ogre has fallen in love with the princess. Laugh. Shrek. Is this true? Who cares. It's preposterious. Fiona, my love, we gonna kiss away for our happily ever after. Now kiss me! By night one way, by day another. I wanted to show you before. Well. That explains a lot. Oh. It's disgusting. Guards, guards. I order you to get them out of my sight. -Now! Get them! Get them, both! -No! This marriage is minding, and that makes me king. See? See? -Shrek! -No. -Don't just stand there, you dogs. -Get out of my way. No! Shrek! -And as for you my wife. -Fiona! I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! I will have order. I will have potential. I will have... All right, nobody move! I got a dragon here and I'm not afraid to use it. I'm a donkey on the edge! Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they? Go ahead Shrek. -Fiona? -Yes, Shrek? I love you. Really? Really, really. I love you too. A time for true love's first kiss... Fiona? Fiona? Are you all right? Yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful. But you are beautiful. I was hoping this would be a happy ending. God bless us, everyone.

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ardent-musings · 4 years ago

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The Girl Who Vanished (Part 1)

Chapter 10: An Unlikely Match

After being away for months, Ana wanted to spend every moment she could with Draco. For the rest of the break, the two of them were chasing after the golden snitch that he got as his gift from their mother. Draco caught it every time, no matter how hard Ana tried to get it. She pleaded for Draco to come along with her when she was going back to King's Cross Station, but the idea of him having to say goodbye again was almost too much for him. He was upset until she told him that the next time he'd be at the station, they would be going to Hogwarts together, and that was enough for the boy to give in. If Ana thought leaving Draco behind was hard before, having to leave him to his lonesome in that big house for a second time made her stomach hurt.

But being away from Draco wasn't the only thing Ana was dreading. She knew that the twins' mercy had expired and she assumed that they would've pranked her as soon as she stepped foot in the castle. They were probably putting something elaborate for her given it had been so long since their last prank, she figured. The thought of having to bear another cake explosion or something similar did not seem exciting in the slightest.

Yet her biggest grievance was that because of her poor attention span in history of magic, Professor Binns was going to be introducing to her tutor her next class. It was at the end of the day, which meant that paying attention to any of her other classes or listening to her friends during meals was an impossible task. She felt bad for not being there for them, but her mind was reeling with anticipation.

Her leg was bouncing in worry which earned her a few annoyed glances from the Hufflepuff beside her. But she couldn't stop. Her body had to expunge some energy before she exploded and this was the only way she could do so while sitting in the most boring class of wizard kind. The class went by agonizingly slow, the professor mumbling about an old rebellion that took place years ago that no one even talked about even more. Needless to say, Ana was not entertained.

Time stood entirely still, up until the point when the ghost dismissed the class, and she tried her hardest to keep out of his sight and sneak out of the room. She figured she could duck down, roll out the door and pop back up like all those spy movies Calista had told her so much about. But that fantasy was pointless as the professor phased through the other students and made a beeline towards her.

"Not so fast, Ms. Malfoy," he groaned tiredly. "You know what time it is."

Oh, she knew. That's why she tried to sneak away, she thought. Her head dipped in defeat as he showed her to his office. Her feet felt like they were weighed down with bricks as she trudged after the ghost. After ascending a few stairs, she stepped into a simple, dusty office to see someone already seated in front of the professor's large desk.

"Ana, meet your tutor."

Her nervousness quickly drained and was replaced with aggravation as she looked into the face of the person who was supposed to help her. This was it. This was the worst case scenario.

"Your tutor is Wright?" Alex howled, all the girls were sitting in the common room discussing Ana's situation.

Ana eyes popped at how loud the girl yelled his name. Sure he wasn't very popular among the Slytherins, mainly because he didn't talk to many people, but Ana wouldn't want any eavesdroppers to be listening in to them right now. From what she could tell, every other student was minding their business, but Ana didn't want to take any chances.

"Yes," Ana sighed lowly, "and apparently Aeron is the best student in his class. How that happened I have no idea." Even saying his name out loud felt like a curse and it felt wrong on her tongue, like an acid pop that was so sour that it burnt a hole through it. She made a mental note to stick to referring him by his last name; maybe she could convince herself that it wasn't really him if she refused to say his name.

Ana was laying down on the long suede couch that faced the fireplace with her head in Calista's lap. The girl played with Ana's silver hair, brushing through the long locks gently. The position reminded her of when her mother used to play with her hair, and the memory made her smile tiredly.

"I mean, if there's going to be anyone who knows a lot about wizard history it makes sense for a Pureblood to know a lot about it," Alex guessed. "I'm surprised you're having so much trouble with it."

Ana whined "It's cause I can't stay awake for the life of me. How come the professor can be dead but I can't be asleep? Sounds pretty unfair to me."

Alex snorted from her seat on the ground, her back to the couch the other two were sitting on. She was reading a copy of some magazine that Ana had never seen before. It was called The Quibbler which Ana thought was a strange name for a paper. "Well what are you going to do?"

"Don't suppose I can just cheat the rest of the time can I?" Ana sighed in defeat.

"Sure you can, but you'll bomb the final once that comes around."

She hated that Calista was right. Cheating would help in the moment, but when it came to proving herself with the final exam, she knew she would just end up failing. It pained every part of her to know that she was going to be spending the unforeseeable future with the boy. And that he was her best option.

The slamming of the common room doors startled the girls, and coming down from the large staircase was the boy in question. When she laid eyes on him strutting down the stairs, Ana sat up and adjusted her posture quickly. She could hardly remember why all the girls started disliking the boy, but as soon as she caught his expression it all came rushing back. He was walking with his head high like he owned everything in sight as he sneered and made his way to the girls.

"I need to talk to you, Malfoy," his face was pointed and Ana figured she should make this quick, like ripping off a bandage from an open wound. She got off the couch and gave the girls a sad glance while she met the boy at a table that was situated away from everyone else.

"What do you need, Wright?" she snapped while crossing her arms. He chuckled in response.

"No need to be snappy, Malfoy. Just wanted to ask when you were available to study," his voice softened a bit. "Professor Binns said you were really struggling."

The boy's face was kind and curious as he waited for her to answer. He wasn't making any quick snips or making her feel uncomfortable, which was surprising to her. She took a deep breath and figured she should be honest with him, he was doing her a favor after all.

"I am struggling," she revealed with a sigh.

"That's okay. I can help with that. History is my strongest subject."

"Yeah, how is that?" Ana decided to play along with his strangely upbeat mood.

"Pick a day and time for studying and you can ask me all the questions you want," he replied with a yawn. It was their first week back and getting back into the rhythm of their routine was also tiresome to everyone. She noticed how his dark under eyes seemed swollen with exhaustion and figured he was having a hard time adjusting too.

After going back and forth, the two came to an agreement about when they would make the time to study. She wasn't looking forward to being tutored, but in the long run it was what she needed. And for some reason she believed Aeron when he said he would be able to help.

Time's up, blondie. Do your worst.

Gred & Forge

"Well that was nice while it lasted," Ana laughed as she flung the boys' note onto the Slytherin table during dinner one night in late January. She knew the twins were going to be back to their old ways but they didn't even give her much time to wind down from the holidays. They were awfully impatient. But she never figured they were the waiting type.

"You're not going to prank them back are you?" Calista asked worriedly.

"No! Definitely not," Ana laughed as she munched on her dessert. "I'll let them think I'm planning my attack meanwhile I'm buying myself more time before they eventually catch on and prank me anyways."

The group gushed over their holidays and Alex's eyes glowed whenever Calista talked about all the muggle traditions she and her parents did. Her favorite was the making of little houses out of gingerbread. Ana knew that would never happen at the Manor, but she found the idea of Draco making a tiny house with food adorable. Somehow she'd have to make that happen next year.

They continued their meal excitedly until Aeron walked up to the group, looking like his normal serious self. Immediately, all the fun chatter and jokes stopped and Ana looked up at the boy who was holding a history of magic textbook. He asked her if she was ready to go as he braced the stares from her and her friends. She wasn't, but she was going to honor their agreement no matter how painful he or the class was.

If actual class wasn't torturous enough, sitting in the library for two hours while Aeron went over everything Professor Binns instructed him to review proved to be even worse. Ana still found herself unable to focus. For the first time she felt bad for Aeron, because she didn't want to waste either of their time. But her eyes would drift to the other people in the library, finding them far more interesting to observe.

"Okay, clearly this isn't working," Aeron huffed as he slumped back in his seat. "Have you remembered a single thing I've said?"

"No," she sighed and he threw his head back in frustration. "Look, I'm sorry. It's just that I'm getting distracted."

Aeron rolled his eyes at her and it only made Ana feel worse. She wasn't trying to go out of her way to be horrible; it just turned out that history was atrocious no matter who taught it. Her hands defaulted to playing with her hair, just to ignore his harshness.

"Distracted by what?" his voice was growing frustrated. "We're in the library, the quietest place in the castle. What could be distracting you?"

Ana's cheeks began to heat up, she felt embarrassed for not being able to keep up her end of the bargain. He was helping her and asking for nothing in return, just for her to pay attention.

"I don't know. Maybe a change in location could help me," Ana wondered, tapping the top of the library table with the ends of her hair like a paintbrush.

"Like what? Where would you like to go?"

He stared at the girl, half expecting her to just walk out of the library and call everything off. Aeron began to think that agreeing to this was a mistake, he should just let the girl fail on her own terms. He wasn't expecting her to be a star pupil, but he at least expected her to be a participating one. She wasn't known to be a bad student, she was actually one of the best students of their years from what others of said. So why she was doing so poorly right now was beyond him.

But Ana was not going to let him down. She was going to make this arrangement work.

"I know just the place," Ana said excitedly, as she launched out of her seat and nearly skipped out of the crowded library. He looked at her with a pained face, she was making this far more difficult than it had to be. And yet, he knew that he was going to follow her wherever she would run.

He refused to run throughout the halls, but he kept up with the girl as she weaved and rounded the corridors of the castle, nearly knocking herself over. She had a smile on her face, which he wasn't used to seeing when he was around. He didn't hate it, but Godric, he just wanted to help her study and be on his way.

Aeron trailed behind her as she led him to the Astronomy Tower where she came to a halt. The snow was softly falling and it covered the landscape of the grounds like a fluffy blanket. Her features softened as she stared out into the sky that was slowly growing darker as the sun began to set. She sat down with her back to the view, nightfall was on the horizon.

"You come here often don't you?" Aeron asked with a raised brow. He took his spot across from her and opened his textbook again. He had to admit, it was far quieter and less busy than the library. Maybe she was onto something.

"I come here sometimes when I can't sleep," she admitted as she sat with her legs crisscrossed and more relaxed than he'd ever seen her.

"And how often can't you sleep?"

Ana never figured Aeron would ask so many questions about herself, but she didn't want to ruin the situation in anyway. This was the longest they had gone without making a snide comment or rolling their eyes at one another, "I have nightmares a lot of the time and it keeps me up."

"What's the nightmare about?" He stared at her a bit of kindness which made her smile. Despite the boy being nice to her, she wasn't sure what the nightmare meant herself. That wasn't something she wanted to dive into with someone she wasn't exactly friends with.

"I'm not quite sure," she shut the question down gently. "But I do know that I will fail this class if I don't get studying."

Aeron smirked and nodded his head at her comment. And for the first time of the night, when Aeron began to go over the last lesson, she was able to close her eyes and absorb some of what the boy was saying. They spent hours together at the top of the tower with him quizzing her and testing her on the material. After every correct answer, she beamed with excitement; her blue eyes would glow despite how dark it was getting outside and Aeron was beginning to enjoy her reactions.

While the two of them spent their time together, a boy was staring at a bit of parchment, wondering why the two were spending so much time in the tower by themselves. He found them being together unnecessary, especially since he noticed how the two would butt heads during meals a lot of the time. It didn't make sense.

"Hey Gred, take a look at the map," George said, as he passed the faded and aged bit of parchment to his brother from his bed. Fred was about to go to sleep, but his sleepy eyes focused quickly when he took a look at the paper. He noticed the two names together and wondered what in the world they would be doing there at this time of night. His ears began to feel warm and they started to match the color of his hair.

"That's quite strange, Forge," Fred agreed with his twin who was watching him, suddenly feeling more awake. After a moment of staring at the paper, his face twisted into a mischievous grin. "Perhaps, we should pay them a visit."

"Tonight?" George whined. He had just gotten settled into bed and his eyes were barely staying awake. "No, not tonight, Fred. Come on."

"You really feel like passing the opportunity, Georgie?" Fred got out of his bed and sat at the edge of George's. He began to furiously tap at the parchment. "This could be the easiest sneak attack of history!"

George rolled his eyes at his brother, of course he wanted to ambush them. Meanwhile, George was only interested in sprawling out on his bed and falling asleep. And so he did just that; he turned away from his older twin and ignored Fred.

But that wasn't going to stop Fred from investigating what the two Slytherins were up to, so he grabbed the pile of parchment and his wand, marching out of the dorm room like he was on a mission. After making sure no one was in the common room, Fred navigated his way through the dark corridors of the castle. His mind wasn't focused on his surroundings though. He was wondering why in the world she was hanging around that bird-looking boy. It wasn't like the two of them got along; Fred had caught sight of them bickering multiple times in the Great Hall and one of Ana's friends always looked ready to fight. So there was no good reason for them to be together at the Astronomy Tower right now.

His hands got clammy as he climbed the winding staircase that led to the lower level of the tower. As he continued to climb, he could hear Ana's voice clear as can be. It had been so long since he'd heard it and a small smile spread across his face. Fred slowly walked along the wooden platform that was situated under the highest point of the tower and it creaked quietly. But his sounds were getting drowned out by the high pitched squeals of excitement Ana made.

She was bouncing up and down cheerfully; Aeron had been quizzing her for an hour and she was finally down to her last question. She just needed to get one more correct.

Aeron smiled as he sat on his knees, getting ready to celebrate if she were to get his final question right. "What year did the Goblin Rebellion start?" His voice was more excited than she'd ever heard it before and even Fred found the boy's tone unfamiliar.

Ana racked her brain for the answer, not wanting to let the boy down after all she put him through that night. "1612?" she answered uncertainly.

Fred took a deep breath when it became clear to him that they were just studying, his shoulders relaxed at the revelation. He didn't know why he was so unnerved by the idea to begin with. They were simply preparing for a test or something silly like that.

"Yes! Yes, Ana!" Aeron yelled proudly as he slammed the textbook closed and jumped to his feet.

For the first time all year, history was beginning to make sense to her and she hated to admit it, but she would still be struggling if it weren't for Aeron. And strangely, she found that he was patient with her even though the tutoring started off pretty rocky. Maybe studying with him wouldn't be as disastrous as she imagined it would be.

Ana got to her feet and laughed excitedly, matching the boy's energy; it was a moment to celebrate for the both of them. But when Aeron went in to give her a congratulatory hug, Ana jumped back and shielded herself off with her arms. Aeron chuckled as he turned away from her to collect their textbooks, not noticing how she guarded herself. But Ana's face flipped from joyful to distant, which didn't go unnoticed by the red head that was situated beneath the two Slytherins. Fred remembered how she flinched when he went to tap her arm on the train, and she repeated that same action today with Aeron. At first, Fred thought that he just startled her that day, but now he was wondering if she was always so jumpy.

But he couldn't dwell on it too long, because the sound of their pattering footsteps grew closer to him. He hardly had enough time to duck behind a pillar before they descended the iron staircase and passed right by the boy. The two of them were chatting about when they'd meet next and Fred grimaced at the thought of them becoming friends. Something about Aeron didn't sit well with Fred, and the boy knew that he would be keeping a close eye on his map. He wasn't going to miss out on their next meeting.

#fred weasley #fred weasley smut #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley x oc #bibiana malfoy #the girl who vanished #tgwv #tgwv 1-10 #enemies to friends to lovers

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