#what do you mean i cant run the same amount as i could when i frequently had to Literally run for my life ??

[born2b-beheaded]

Today I realized how out of shape I've become

[readymades2002]

if i might bitch about work for a second: yesterday was hellishly bad despite being able to keep up with it and i found out that apparently our department made 4600 dollars yesterday which is making me angry beyond belieffffffff

[krawdad]

Anybody have any advice for someone who can no longer move and has been completely defeated for like 6-8 consecutive years

[pushingdaisies1]

hihi I am not sure how to submit a request because I have never really done one before but isit possible if u could do a myunggi x female reader fic😓😓🙏🙏 I haven't really seen much ffs about him and I really want to see his protective side being portrayed🙌

➜ ౨ৎ Paz Con Usted.

― ꒰ PAIRING: Lee Myung-gi x Reader! ꒱ ― ꒰SUMMARY: Your last relationship wasn't left on the best of terms. It was a small little fling, only lasting for five months. But the way he left was sudden and abrupt. He told you flat out that he wanted to end things, and that was that. Didn't give you any time to ask why, was it your fault? He had mentioned once or twice about his ex-girlfriend. But after making up this grand charade to your face you didn't expect to be the rebound. But in hindsight... you were. Now you are here, being told that you have an opportunity to abolish your debts. A hefty prize, an amount of money you've never seen in your entire life. This was the worst time to run into your jaded ex-boyfriend. But maybe he still had some room in his heart left for you. You weren't so gullible, fool me twice and whatnot. But him swooping in to stand up for you definitely made you feel those same old butterflies rise in your gut.꒱ ― ꒰WARNINGS: Honestly the biggest one I can think of is you and Myung-gi being messy. Like within the context of your prior relationship.. if that makes sense... yk? Start is kinda angsty!! Woops!! There's no violence (excluding regular squid game violence mentioned) but Thanos is Thanos!! No Jun-hee slander here folks. Mentions of Abortion (Jun-hee.) Consequences of Myung-gis actions with a somewhat happy ending!! yay!!! Like you two don't like reforge a whole relationship but no bad blood by the end of this..... wooo!!! Use of She/her pronouns once for reader. Also this is a tad bit long n may have spelling mistakes , woopsie...꒱ ― ꒰AUTHORS NOTE: Ohh no dw!! Yes ofc , here you go!! I really do hope you liked this!! I tried to stay as in character for Myung-gi as possible. He's very much a 50/50 character amongst fans. His actor's so funny and I honestly like his character. Like you envy him but you cant help but feel sympathy for him in moments. Crypto bro who I wanna dissect/look at under a microscope!! Also like... look at him... he's a cutiepatootie. He has his moments but like bro Jun-hee defender forever lmao. Also, I got this title from a beautiful song. It's by the band Ataquemos!! It's just so sweet and a generally warm song. I think it fits Myung-gis's motivations at heart. I tried to deliver on this as hard as I could, enjoy!!<3꒱

☓﹕You never thought you would see Myung-gi again. After your breakup, it all seemed a done deal. He hadn't truly explained his reasonings to you. About... splitting ties with you. I mean it was utterly absurd? Throughout your entire relationship, you always tried to do and be better than before. ☓﹕Always listening to his woes even if they were a little bit baffling for your tastes. What was his problem? You could tell he wasn't being entirely honest with you about everything. His past relationships, his history. But that was his business and not yours. But your breakup definitely surprised you out of left field.

☓﹕He wasn't answering your calls for a good week leading up to it. You were worried sick about him. Thinking that something terrible must've happened. You were so naive to his true intentions. When he finally answered your multiple texts and missed calls, he only followed with, "I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore. I loved you I really did. But I'm not in a well enough place to continue with this relationship. I hope you can understand. I'm breaking up with you and blocking this number. I'm sorry." ☓﹕The familiar sensation of your chest winding tight took over your entire body. Your hands began to tremble as you held your phone. No tears at the sight. But you were practically blown away. Ghosts you for a week and then break up with you over TEXT?! ☓﹕This was jarring beyond the humiliation and general grief you felt swelling inside of you. Did you mean that little to him? What was his fucking deal? He'd even met with your parents on a couple occasions. You at least thought you were serious enough for him to at least break up with you face to face.

☓﹕You didn't even bat an eye about the fact that he was a crypto-bro! Or, that he never truly got over his last relationship. I mean you at least never thought he did. Throughout your past committed relationships, you valued the honesty in partners about what their dating life had been like before meeting you. ☓﹕ It felt like their openness was full transparency, you know? Even if the relationships they had before meeting you were full-blown train wrecks. But Myung-gi was a whole different story from other previous partners. It was odd but again you never tried to pry at him. Were you truly in love or just blind with infatuation?

☓﹕It had been a month since he had cut you off from his life. It had been a month full of bitter spite and just... sorrow. The amount of loans you had taken out definitely started to pile up. You had teetered on the line too many times at work. Eventually losing your position after you accidentally blew up at a coworker. It didn't take you long for your debt to increase even more after that. ☓﹕With how bad the job market was you stayed unemployed for too long according to the bank. Job interviews weren't pulling through. You were practically drowning in unpaid loans and growing unpaid rent bills. Never were you a person to take handouts from friends or family. You were too stubborn for your own good. It was so isolating as your landlord continued to threaten to kick you out if you didn't have all that money in a week. If he was nice enough, he'd outstretch it to two.

☓﹕It was one humid evening when you were waiting for a train. That a man approached you. He looks clean-cut, a businessman-looking briefcase held in one hand. His faint eery smile didn't falter at all as he slid down right next to you. You had spent the afternoon visiting friends for once and running errands with what little you had. One headphone is looped and tucked around the left ear. Of course, you noticed him. He stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the middle-men office workers office workers, or the families trying to get home and escape from the summer heat.

☓﹕You kept your eyes straight ahead. "Pleasedon'ttrytoconvertme..." you repeated over and over again in your head. All you wanted to do was just rinse and repeat the same routine you had accumulated. The same pathetic routine you lived with ever since Myung-gi broke things off with you. But you were totally moved on now! It's been a month... that's a lot of time... right? ☓﹕ The sharply dressed man beside you broke your train of thought. Addressing you very formally, he offered you the opportunity to play a game. What game? , ddakji - for a cash prize every time you flipped his card to the opposite side. By the time you finally gave him an ounce of acknowledgment, most people had already gotten on their designated train. The station was empty and you still had awhile so why not? ☓﹕Shockingly you had won a majority of the rounds. Your arms shot up as soon as you saw his card flip over. He may have gotten one or two slaps in after you flat-out told him you had no more money on you to pay for your losses. "That's okay, you'll pay with your body.", excuse me? ☓﹕By the time he handed you the money he now owed you, he quickly started to latch up his briefcase. Trying to bring levity to the situation, he stopped you before you could get any other words in. From his pocket, he slipped out a card. A circle, triangle, and square on the front of it. Flipping it over it looked to be a phone number. Examining it with keen eyes you heard him mutter "Have a great rest of your evening." under his breath. Before you could thank him or do such a thing he was already gone. ☓﹕Vanished right before your eyes. Your head spun around, eyes landing on the now arriving train. Time to think about this and more once you finish your trek home.

☓﹕If it was only a little game, how hard could it be? You needed the help desperately. No matter how pathetic it was you called the number. Giving the unknown voice on the other end your name and birthday. Quickly and precisely they explained where and when you would be picked up. ☓﹕Seemed easy enough from your point of view. The place they referred you to was one of the largest shopping centers in Seoul. The time was way after the park's hours. It was odd but guaranteed a spacious and empty environment for the pickup to happen. As you listened you couldn't help but feel a low twisting in your gut. This felt wrong, not right at all. You were too far gone now. So you agreed to the terms and hung up the phone.

☓﹕The day finally arrived. You tried to get your assets in order. Told ones closest to you that you'd be busy due to a "new job offer." It was shocking how they all bought the lie. You just wanted to make a quick buck to lessen your debt, that's all. Your eyes flicked down to your phone as you clicked it on. The breeze rustled your hair. The home screen of your phone reads that it is finally midnight. You had gotten there earlier than told on the phone. ☓﹕Just to shake the impending nerves away. It felt like a bust because right on schedule, a van arrived. A masked man rolled down the window and stated your name. Your eyes widened as that pit feeling got deeper and deeper. The door of the van slid open and you slid inside the vehicle. Getting a feel for the van you right saw the slumped-down bodies beside you. Your throat tightened as you tried to find answers to your questions. Before you knew it heavy gas started to fill the backseat. The car whirred to life as you slowly collapsed, finally unconscious.

☓﹕By the time you awoke, you were met with the sounds of classical music and a bed. The metal squeaked gently as you sat up in the bunk bed where you lay. People who were dressed in similar attire as you, with numbers on their chests and backs littered the beds around you. Some were already starting to climb down and stand around on the main floor of the dormitory. Standing back, you were puzzled by where you now were. You were practically whisked away from your life on the outside. This wasn't disclosed in the phone call.

☓﹕Murmurs could be heard in the wide crowd of participants forming in the middle of the room. Others were scared of what this might entail, while some were dumbfounded by the swift change in scenery. The same masked men with different variations of their masks walked out, one outwardly greeting the bewildered players. Immediately as soon as they started taking questions, people kept on giving and giving. By now you had joined the crowd, standing more by the back wall of beds.

☓﹕All of a sudden your ears get all warm and irritated as soon as you hear a specific voice. The same voice of the guy who ripped your heart out and left it beating on the cold floor. Asking for his phone and wallet for market checking of all things? You were staring directly at the back of his head as he whined in annoyance. If it was anyone else, you would've been remorseful. These "guards", had stripped everyone of their personal belongings and usual clothes. But hearing that prick made your head get all hot and all rationality gets just as fuzzy.

☓﹕On the screen they displayed multiple of the players. Their individual names, and the debt amount they had to their name. Myung-gi's face flashed on screen with his hair mostly hidden with a bucket hat. Playing the same game you had when the recruiter found you in that subway. His face getting slapped, holding his cheek. You especially heard ringing in his ears when you heard he had CHARGES against him?

☓﹕During the time you had spent with him, he never once brought that up. Nor the crypto coin scam he ran on multiple people. Other player's faces followed after his. One person's debt reaching into the billions. But your head was spinning at the fact that maybe you didn't know your ex-boyfriend that well. You weren't judgemental of the fact that he dealt with cryptocurrency. Which was probably your biggest mistake. The rose-colored glasses were even more damaged now. Who really had you been dating for those five months?

☓﹕After the square guards' passionate but monotone speech, consent forms were immediately dished out. Four guards stood at each individual post. Handing participants pens to sign the contracts, the rules all in bold. Your number was somewhere in the middle of the large range of game participants. So let's just say you stood around in that line for a while. You didn't really take the time to strike up a conversation with anyone.

☓﹕An older woman, the same one who was arguing with her son earlier was behind you. She was kind enough to take the initiative. She seemed like a nurturing sweetheart. Her words were kind to you as she asked you why you were here and other small talk. It was the most sympathy you had heard from someone in a while. Finding the time to crack a grin of three as she commented "You look like a respectful kid." It was the most conversation you had... since you had gotten here.

☓﹕You two both discussed how this may work. The entire you mostly listened as she talked about how this all seemed "too bizarre for her tastes." You chuckled, cluelessly shrugging with a "We'll find out soon enough." Her son the entire time was trying to get his mom's attention. But she was determined to keep on talking to you. Until it was your turn to sign your signature. ☓﹕Glancing over the rules your head cocked to the side a little. Already here, it felt useless to back out. Leaving with nothing is worse than leaving with something. Readjusting your hold on the pen you quickly signed the contract. Gently placing the pen back down where it sat before, your mind now clear, you started to walk out and away from the four single-file lines. ☓﹕Until you heard a scuffle at the other side of the room. Chu Su-bong and another player were towering over another player. You don't realize who the victim was until you hear the purple-haired one rather loudly announce the name "MG Coin." You wanted to scoff at the cheesy name. Clearly, if those guys were picking a fight with Myung-gi they must've been the people who invested in the coin. ☓﹕You know what? , serves him right. Facing his comeuppance face-on and head-on. But you couldn't help but feel some odd form of pity as you watched Su-bong almost swing on "MG Coin." Thankfully the other player riled him down. The two walked off and the air in the room stayed as stale as it was before. Something inside of you was eager to approach Myung-gi. Before you could stop yourself your feet were already walking to where he was sitting.

☓﹕He looked so small and so pitiful. His head was in his hands as he rubbed his face. Your steps were precise as you walked towards him. Your arms were crossed as you looked him up and down. "Was I just some joke to you?" You sneered. As soon as he heard you his head shot up. Eyebrows creased and mouth agape. The last time he had spoken to you, he didn't expect you to be here of the sort at all.

☓﹕"What are you even doing here?" He whispered, trying to keep his volume to a low. Not to make another fool of himself again. "I should be asking what you're doing here? Oh wait, never mind, I know. Guess I was dating a criminal. I wasted a lot on you. Supporting you, listening to you, being an above-average decent human being for you? And you repay me by keeping me in the dark about something as big as this?" You snapped back at him. Not holding back any resentment that grew towards him during your mutual time apart.

☓﹕"It's not like that-" Your eyes went wide and your jaw fully dropped. "No, I think it is like that. You don't hide stuff like this from someone Myung-gi! What was I even to you? And by your actions.. clearly nothing." He couldn't stop the scoff escaping him, which just pissed you off even more. "Do you ever stop talking? Everything was always my fault when it came to you. But when I tried to explain myself you'd immediately patronize me." ☓﹕"Patrionize you?! You didn't tell me you were wanted by the authorities! For five months, I thought you were just struggling. That's why I helped you so much. That's why I practically let you live with me after a while-" The realization came to you. Was he just using you to hide from the cops? He put his hands up in between the two of you. "When I met you I was in a rock and an even harder place. I-I was trying to turn a new leaf... I had hurt so many people. But you took me in and I..." ☓﹕"And you what? Found an easy cash grab to live off of until you felt guilty enough in that bitter heart of yours?" Your words pierced every muscle in his body. "I loved you, you piece of shit. I loved you a lot. You met my parents! You saw the best of me. You are acting like our time together was nothing. I for sure thought it was something and guess you didn't feel the same." A sigh left you as you got everything out. Everything that started to slowly form after you got that text.

☓﹕"... Are you only here to scream at me? Right now, here? Gotten it out of your system?" His words were like an even deeper twist of the knife. He clearly could see on your face that his response was the incorrect thing to say. He tried to stammer out an apology but you were already backing away. "I'm here to revel in your misery. I've seen enough... good luck." ☓﹕Turning around you noticed a specific player in the sea of people looking at you. She was sitting by one of the bunks. A hand gently cradled her stomach. Her eyes looked glazed over with unshed tears. Her stare was icy and almost demeaning as you looked back at her. They told a story that you didn't quite understand, at least not now. Shrugging it off you went to go find a place to cool down before the first game.

☓﹕It was comical hearing what the first game was. A children's game you used to play with your classmates when you were young. Shouldn't be that off-putting on the outside. Definitely was more with the larger-than-life doll staring all four hundred and fifty-six players down from the finish line. An older man, the 456th player, immediately ran up before the games even started. Yelling that this wasn't just any ordinary game. That lives were at stake and the doll had motion sensor eyes?

☓﹕You definitely started to believe him along with many others once the first player died. One by one gunshots rang out. Bodies were either piled up at the entrances or littered across the sandy ground. People immediately changed their tune and began to run in a lot more of an ordered fashion. Because the doll would only pick up the first person's motions. In following the orders this stranger shouted you actually made it to the finish line. You shockingly made it out alive... only after the first game. ☓﹕After a good chunk of the players were left, everyone was escorted through that colorful maze of stairs back to the dormitory. People were practically cowering in fear and begging for mercy from the guards. The same stranger who had practically saved the lives of every remaining player urged for a vote to take place. Since it was in the forms and already promised, it had to be done. ☓﹕The bloodshed you saw was terrifying. People dropped like flies even if their hands were trembling. It was mortifying to see so up close. By the time your number was called you immediately felt a sense of determination. You weren't desperate enough to watch others lose their lives while participating in gruesome children's games. Nor did you want to die here and have no one you knew realize you died. You'd rather get your body stripped for parts.

☓﹕It wasn't shocking that Myung-gi went for the opposite side as you. You clearly barely knew the man, so anything made sense at this point. It was neck and neck, practically so close to having your side win. But one person broke that, and the opposing side ended up winning. Their cheers were met with broken hearts and people who had just lost a fraction of their hope. ☓﹕The air in the room was building with tension. As players were given food one by one by the circle guards, the entire time in line you could only think about one thing. The girl who was staring daggers into your soul. You didn't know if it truly was something to worry about. But hell you had a ton of time to kill. So you thought the best thing to do was to try and ask the million-dollar question.

☓﹕You slinked back to the side. Your eyes scan around the spacious area to look for her. You recognized the same head of the older woman you had conversed with. During the first game, you noticed that in a fleeting second, the two had conversed. It must've been something to do with that. Right away you started walking over. Her son giving you the perfect moment to approach player 222.

☓﹕She was eating her food, not noticing your steps. At least that's what it looked like. You gripped the water bottle in your hand. Clearing your throat, you two made eye contact. Her gaze was less hurtful. More hollow, as if she was yearning for something. But you had no idea what. Words were stuck in your throat, you were at a loss. ☓﹕"Can I help you...?" Her tone was cautious as she let her tin of food rest in her lap. Her arms were more closed, resting towards her side. You stammered out a "Here." Your hand offered up the water bottle. Her eyes looked at the hand, and then back to you. Almost as if she was waiting for you to finish your sentence.

☓﹕"I-I saw you earlier in the game ... I know it's impolite but it was all just me guessing I didn't mean to offend you-" You were surprised you weren't cartoonishly slipping on a banana peel here. Expecting her to cut you off, she still kept on staring back at you. "Thank you." She whispered as the palm of her hand opened. You immediately handed her the water bottle.

☓﹕The quiet was suffocating. Everyone's conversation and consumption drowned out your subconscious. "Are you Jun-hee?" You abruptly questioned her. She lost all the color in her face. Instead of responding to you verbally, she nodded her head as she stared down into her lap.

☓﹕You could easily connect the dots. Myung-gi had mentioned her by name once when you asked him about his previous partner. She was here, trying to win to make money for Myung-gis unborn child. You had lived five months blissfully unaware of this, of any of this. "Is that why you were watching me earlier?" You asked with a tremble of your lip. Repeating her prior action, she nodded her head. ☓﹕"Oh my god... I... I'm so sorry." Your words were a mess as your past relationship with this perfect guy broke apart. You had fit each other so perfectly. You didn't expect this behavior from him, how could you? Jun-hee was clearly holding in a lot. But she couldn't muster any anger. You clearly were clueless about his lies. By the way, your eyes went wide and your mouth parted, she couldn't stop herself from feeling pity for you. ☓﹕"When I told him, he originally wanted me to get rid of it. Said that we'd handle it." She spoke up as her tone of voice wavered. "I had already invested into that Dalmation coin and he was being hounded by the cops. By then I found out about its failure, he already left my life without another word. I decided that our child didn't have a father anymore and kept it. It's been six months."

☓﹕Anger burned in your chest. Jun-hee looked like a sweet girl. She was so beautiful, like a little button. You felt wronged and betrayed but also vengeful? She stopped you from thinking any harder. "I don't need him. So please do not feel bad for me. When he left he lost his chance. I tried too many times to be there for him, but he didn't try once for me. He's not a good guy."

☓﹕Your head lulled in recognition as you listened intently. "I-I seriously had no idea. He told me a whole other story." She simply shrugged at your response. "That sounds like Myung-gi." She remarked in a reserved way of speech. You couldn't help but crack a small laugh in defeat because it sure was him. ☓﹕You felt pure remorse running through your veins. You extended a vine of friendship to the poor girl. "I know we know each other for the worst of reasons. But... I hold only anger for that man. If you need anything or anyone, you have a friend in me Jun-hee." You lamented as your shoulders lost some of the tension they held before. ☓﹕She plastered a small but noticeable smile on her face. Either real or fake, you took it as a win either way. "I appreciate your kindness." She politely remarked as her head bowed at you, you did the same. "You are a good person. I hope we make it out together and can form a real friendship." That seemed to lighten her spirits. "I hope so as well." Her words were direct but her tone was soft and gentle. ☓﹕You were already bothering her enough. With a small wave of your hand to bid her farewell, you began to walk away. Opening up your tin of food you spent the next couple of hours picking at the once-enclosed meal. You were too stuck in the past. Every sweet moment you had with Myung-gi rotted and turned sour. The only things that gave you any ease at night were thinking back to your exchange with Jun-hee and the warm glow of all the prize money in the middle of the ceiling.

☓﹕The next morning came as a definite wake-up call. The same classical elegant tune blared over the speakers. You wished you could curl back into bed with the pillow muffling the repentant noise. But thanks to the system in place you were stuck here. People were quickly rising out of beds, no one really stopping to sit.

☓﹕Walking down to stand at your bed post you noticed two familiar figures conversing. Myung-gis bruised face and Jun-hees stern brow. You could remember the fight that broke out in the middle of the room, and the reason why he looked so beat up. The same purple-haired guy, Su-Bong beating down on him with the help of what looked to be his sort of right-hand man. Only until the same player who broke the vote count tie stepped in. Myung-gis and Jun-hees exchange didn't look pleasant but no time to focus on that. Guards were already walking in, ready to escort every current participant through the game hall.

☓﹕After making it through the long and winding staircases, you were brought into a large room. It almost resembled an elementary playground. With the bright colors and two rainbow roads, as well as the back walls resembling a sort of school structure. You were set to make teams of five with ten minutes on the clock. Nobody wasted any time in finding teammates. You were having a hard time locating one to join.

☓﹕Time was ticking down bit by bit. It felt more like five minutes to decide who to team with as you saw people right away strategizing. Your fingers danced at your sides as you cautiously walked around. You had gotten rejected from two groups. One because they were already full, with wishes of good luck as you walked away. The other one was because they were also full and you didn't have "the look." ☓﹕Suddenly you heard someone trying to get another person's attention. When you looked back you saw that someone was trying to get your attention. The same guy who was ready to beat Myung-gi to a pulp if he had the chance. The same guy who was pushing people over in the first game as if they were only dominos. He walked with pride as two men followed behind him, one of them the same person who was also beating up on Myung-gi. ☓﹕"Owww Senorita... you're too cute to be alone. Let's play this game together." He purred as he approached you. His arms were crossed and his chest was clearly puffed up. Player 124 clearly didn't look happy about this. Chewing at his inner cheek with an unpleased look on his face. Player 256 was clearly awe-struck with the guy, practically ready to kiss the ground he walked on. ☓﹕You would rather get gunned down than be stuck with this guy and his lackeys. It was a hefty gamble... that's why you never participated in the act. Besides he may get you killed in the next game, if not in this one. So you flashed on a polite but guarded expression. "Sorry but, I'm alright over here." Player 124 scoffed in relief as Su-Bongs head turned back, almost as if sending him a long and lengthy message only with a glare.

☓﹕"It's only you over here though. Come onnn... I'll protect you the whole game. You don't have to worry about anything when you are in the Thanos world. It's a pretty perfect deal." He smirked with confidence. On accident you let a sheepish laugh slip out. He took that as the initiative to push even harder on your buttons.

☓﹕"Whatever the game is I'll destroy anything that tries to tear us apart." He hummed with a boyishly sinister way of speech. You've denied him multiple times by now. Before another polite "no" could be added to that list, you looked up to notice Myung-gi. He was standing in between you and Thanos. His feet are firmly planted in the ground. The clock just now ticked past four minutes.

☓﹕"Ahhh MG Coin, I'm a little busy over here." Thanos snarked as he took a step back. Myung-gi huffed out a reply, "She said no man. So listen to that and go find two other people." By the way, Thanos's expression appeared; he thought this was humorful. "Are you looking to continue where we last left off, MG Coin? I think your purple and new red would look nice together." He replied with promise laced around every word. ☓﹕Myung-gi wasn't backing down and you were taken aback. His body guards Thanos from approaching close to you a step further. Why was he doing this? The clock on the wall took no pause for this. Clearly, this little confrontation was only wasting time. Thanos backed down but "took it to heart." He placed his hands on his chest in a quick heart rate motion. "You hurt my feelings MG Coin. Thanos never forgets." He emphasized his statement as he and the two other players walked away in the opposite direction.

☓﹕As as the three men leave out of sight he's already turning around to face you. "Are you okay?" His voice was signaturely dry but almost sweet. Outwardly trying to sound as apologetic as possible without saying it. You hadn't seen Myung-gi act like that in a while. It definitely made something in you stir. But you weren't going to say anything of that. He was met with a similar closed-off attitude he was met with by Jun-hee. This time with anger simmering beneath the surface. ☓﹕"Is that your way of apologizing?" You remarked with no remorse. "I-I do feel terrible about what I said. Please... I'll explain it to you after you join me." Your eyebrows creased, your expression reading like he had just dropped a bomb of news onto you. "You don't have a team and the people I partnered with - we need one more person... I'm begging you." His voice was finally filled with genuine emotion and emotion that wasn't him whining about problems he caused. ☓﹕"Fine." Your response was one note but that's all that he needed. He led you over to the group of older men. They were much more friendly faces than some of the participants you had to interact with. The game was finally introduced, more like the game and minigames were introduced. Right away, as soon as the monotone voice on the speakers was done explaining the ins and outs, you all started talking about what games would be your biggest strengths. ☓﹕Watching each team go up was like a game of chance. Either both teams would cross the finish line with triumph and hurrahs of joy and relief. One would have their moment in the spotlight of victory while the other would be mercilessly gunned down. Teams who didn't even make it past the second or third game would be shot without notice by the time the timer was done. You tried to stay as focused as you could, examining the surviving team's strategies for your group's potential success.

☓﹕By the time yours and Myung-gis's team went up, there was still a pretty size-able audience left of players. You kept your hands gripped into fists as a circle guard locked your ankles together. The previous rounds of gunfire from the guards still rang in your ears. But your top priority was to survive all five games and make it out of this one alive. You weren't going to die running around a rainbow road playing some small little minigames anytime soon, that was below you. The five of you felt that same momentum coursing through your veins , and then you were off.

☓﹕The sportsmanship that coursed through the crowd with previous teams was already heavy. But experiencing that yourself felt electrifying. Like the only time players who wanted to leave and those who wanted to stay felt truly equal. It was another asset that pushed you and your fellow teammates to finish every game with perfect precision. Your mind wasn’t focused on your potential demise when your turn arrived. The cheers made you focus on the task in front of you.

☓﹕It was with Myung-gis's final kick that your team made it. You made it with time to spare! Arms quickly locked together, each final step you and your teammates made was quick and firm. Everyone erupted with applause and cheers as your team jumped around with utter relief and joy. You had the freedom to walk out with your spirits still held, being led back to the dormitory by a couple of the guards. ☓﹕Making it back, there were only a few teams in there. You had recognized the same familiar face of the older woman. The same woman who was conversing with Jun-hee and one of the winning teams. Other groups of players were littered around in tight units. Only some looked back to the door to see who arrived back. ☓﹕ It was a lot more quieter now compared to before the second game began. This made sense since more five-player teams still had to compete and make it out alive. The door unlatched open and you were absorbed in the ambiance of whispers and emptiness. You gave gentle nods of recognition as your older teammates boasted about your combined success. You noticed how sullen Myung-gi was. ☓﹕Your stomach contorted as a deep sigh left you. "Hey." He heard you call out to him. You were walking directly behind him. He slowly spun around to face you. His eyes bore into the ground under the two of you. "I-I know I... I know I messed up. Especially with you and I am sorry." He looked up to face you. But you were trying to guide him away to a more secluded area of the multiple bunks. He followed you like a lost puppy. ☓﹕You sat down on the edge of a random bunk, the metal under you squeaking at the sudden pressure. He sat down right beside you, arms hanging low in his lap. You looked to him as to give him the room to speak, to "explain himself." You could hear how tight his chest was while he spoke. Bursts of air left his upper frame at every grating word that left his mouth. ☓﹕"When I met you... I was a mess." Your head lulled in a nod as a sign for him to continue. "I had hurt so many people, so many people I once held close to me. But you didn't know who I was. You looked at me like... no one else had. You were someone who still thought of me with some respect. I-I didn't want to ruin the image you had of me so I was a coward and hid that from you." A shaky chuckle left him. His words were so warm, they reminded you of the good times you two shared together. But you were past feeling pity for him, it was more so guilt now. Guilt for a relationship built on falsities that you participated in. ☓﹕Your head turned in his general direction. But your eyes didn't meet him. "Were you using me?", you bluntly asked. "No... I took the help you offered me. I was happy with you-" Your eyes began to water. "I know about Jun-hee." He almost looked surprised as the two of you locked eyes. "... I didn't know about it. I didn't know she kept it." A sheepish chuckle left you as you wiped away falling tears from your eyes. Dribbling down your cheeks, staining them with your constant reminder of turmoil. You didn't want to cry in front of him, but he noticed. ☓﹕"My life was falling apart. I had people out there who wanted to see me hang for what I had done. Which ... wasn't entirely my fault if you think about it. I met you and you closed up all my wounds. You didn't look at me with shame so many others did. I finally felt good about myself for once in a very long time. But then my feelings just grew too complicated. I didn't want to pop our little bubble.. so... I ran away." ☓﹕"You're an asshole." Your words had so much emotion in them. But he couldn't help himself. "I know I am. I regret the times I could have been better... for you." A long and lengthy pause for silence grew in between the two of you. You rubbed your eyes as you thought of whatever you could say next. You were too tired to argue with him. "Do you promise me that if you make it out of this alive, with her, you'll be a better man..?" It was a dumb question to ask of him. Could men like Myung-gi ever change?

☓﹕"Yes. One hundred times yes." He nodded his head adamantly. Your expression was bittersweet. Your head lulled in a nod one more time before you just sat there with him. He turned his head away from your direction. Staring down into the floor, the silence shared between the two of you was almost comforting. It was a familiar sort of ember that burned in the coldness that was your entire relationship. -> "I hate your guts." He smiled, hearing an emotion that wasn't resentment in your voice. "You have every right to."

― ꒰AUTHORS NOTE: Aghhh I know this one was really angsty I'm sorry!! Guys, I love angst can you tell? The idea seemed so somber like u 2 r so tragic it’s aghhhhhh. I really hope this was an enjoyable read. If you’re interested in sending me a request , check out my currently pinned post<3 Ly all , byeee!!! ( ^ . . ^ )

[kissitbttr]

ANA! ANA MY LUV!! idk much about miguel (a travesty i knoeww) but i saw ur fratboy post n now i cant stop drooling at the idea of fratboy!miguel introducing u to his frat buddies!! being so possessive: holding ur waist or pulling u to his lap; kissing ur neck even when his friends are right there. oh my goddd im gonna sob hes so!!!

SUNNY?! I AM BITING MY FIST OMG HE’D SOOO FREAKING POSSESSIVE UGH I LOVE IT WHEN YOU ARE RIGHT

bby you HAVE to hop on the miguel simp train!! HE IS SO FINEEEE😩😩

-

it was around after the third date when miguel nervously asked you to come to the frat house to meet his brothers. he didn’t want to overwhelm you of course, he knew how annoying and pushy his brothers could be but still, he would love for them to get to know you just as he had when he was with you,

you saw how nervous he got, but you assured him by squeezing his hand and telling him that you were okay with that. he smiled in return, kissing you softly on the lips as a thank you,

“i never express any gratitude towards anyone in my life except my parents but i want to thank you so much for finally saying yes, it was fucking annoying to hear him yapping about you non-stop. all of us had enough of his corny shit”

one of his frat brothers, glen had mentioned. feigning a relief expression while he smirked at miguel who gave him the finger,

“i literally thanked Jesus when i heard him going on a date with you, y/n! you are our life savior”

miguel threw his head back in annoyance, groaning at how his frat brothers continued to spill his secrets. but you giggled instead, looking over at him who avoided your gaze out of pure embarrassment.

“what else did he do?”

miguel shot you a warning look, “don’t encourage them, muñeca! they’d go all the way out!”

“oh believe me, we have many” beck had answered, playfully snickering at the amount of times miguel had ranted about you. “which one do you want to hear? one where he talked about you while he was high? or one where it was late at night—“

“fuck off, kingsley!” miguel had interrupted before he got too far, in which beck put his hands up in defense.

miguel snaked his arm around your waist, giving your hip three taps to prompt you to sit on his lap which you obliged.

you happily plopped yourself down on one of his thick thighs. he helped you with shifting your body into a comfortable position with your legs crossed.

the rest of the boys sat in the living room, piling in the same area as they all stared at the two of you. millions of questions running through their minds, desperate to know if miguel somehow blackmailed you into agreeing to go out on a date with him or something worse,

miguel sensed the stares from his brothers and, to be frank, it was quite uncomfortable. though he knew for sure they wanted to know the same thing.

“are you guys wondering how i got to take her out or what?”

they all responded with a ‘yes’ in unison, making him rub his temple and you smiled

“so? what did he do, y/n? because i’m starting to think this is a joke”

“could be. i mean, carlos went all 110% for a girl when she rejected his offer the first time” glen shrugged, earning a frown from carlos himself,

“i did not—“

“yes you did. you stood outside of the campus library with a boombox over your head” one boy chimed in while sipping his beer,

“okay see, i was—“

“oh! and remember when he threatened to pull his—“

“shut the fuck up! focus! we’re not here for me but for them!” carlos gestured his hand at both miguel and you. “can we leave my shit behind? that would be great”

carlos's cheeks went beet red as the other guys teased him for it, beck patted him on the back and told him that it was nothing to be ashamed of but carlos only swatted his hand away,

you found it so endearing at how the frat guys were so playful and funny with each other. typical boys will be boys type of thing. they were definitely far more different than when you see them during parties,

“well to be honest, he really didn’t have to do anything” you simply replied, tucking a hair behind your ear. “but definitely persistent, in the most politest way and less creepier though”

“you saying what i did was creepy?” carlos pointed at himself with a defeated look,

“i mean, if you had to ask then yeah”

the rest erupted in a peal of loud laughter while carlos’s shoulders slouched. propping his back against the chair with his arms crossed, a chorus of ‘see?’ and ‘i told you so’s’ made you laugh,

miguel settled his elbow on the armrest, eyes glinted with adoration whilst his mouth stretched into a lovesick grin. he watched how you managed to pull joy out of them and there’s nothing he’s appreciated more than that,

the way you threw your head back as another cute giggle escaped you while holding onto his shoulder for balance was enough to make his heart ponder,

“man, you’ve got wicked sense of humor, y/n—say if shit went sideways between the two of you, just know I’m available”

miguel frowned upon hearing that as his nose scrunched up in disgust as he leapt the nearest pillow at his brother’s direction for that comment. he wrapped his arm around your waist far more protectively,

“watch it” he warned, glaring at him. he knew it was a joke but he still didn’t like how that sounded, “i’ll kick your fucking ass, monty”

upon seeing that, your hand moved to find his cheek, lightly tapping his chin with your finger to get him to look at you,

“easy there, big boy” your words soothed him in seconds, especially when he heard his favorite nickname leaving your mouth, "I'm with you"

the confirmation made him giddy and his heart blossomed,

he moved dangerously close to your ear to whisper before kissing the back of it making you giggle. “you look so pretty tonight, muñeca” miguel dragged his fingertips up and down your exposed thigh, then squeezed the soft flesh. “so so pretty— do i get to see you in this dress more often?”

the question came off too excited despite his best trying to hide it, again, if there was nobody around, he'd actually take you right there and then.

you smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “but I thought you like me better when i’m naked?”

“oh there’s no doubt about that, mi amor” he winked with a chuckle, “am i… about to get lucky tonight?”

“you might” a seductive response laced on your tone, winking at him as he squeezed your waist before

the boys let out a couple of groans and fake puking sounds at the sight, but the two of you remained still in your element,

''you guys make me sick" glen protested, shaking his head before getting up from the chair to walk away but you caught a small smile on his face,

"jealous you don't have a girlfriend, mayback?" miguel teased at him, glen only threw him the middle finger before cracking another can of beer from the kitchen,

the rest of the boys followed his actions after, not before congratulating miguel on scoring with you.

the word girlfriend made you bulldozed, eyes darted toward his smiling proud face before yours stretched into one as well,

"i'm your girlfriend?"

his smile faltered after he soon realized what he had just called you, he swallowed a nervous gulp. opening and closing his mouth because he was unsure what to say

you must admit you enjoyed seeing him like that.

"well i-i mean--i wasn't--surely you were--uh--what was the question again?"

you tucked your lower lip in between your teeth, head tilting to the side as the adorable man in front of you became a stuttering mess.

realizing that he is on the edge of a nervous breakdown, you leaned closer to his face before smashing your lips against his. his body went still by your action, but soon found himself lost in your kiss and sighed out of contentment,

you pulled away after a few seconds, tousling his soft chocolate hair before replying,

''i would love to be your girl, o'hara''

-

please please PLEASE tell me this is good!! i was writing this in the car and I couldn’t concentrate for a second because people were honking too much!! bhhshshs

[dekusleftsock]

Don’t y’all love it when a popular tiktok creator is analyzing a character and interpreting it so, so wrong, and him and his dumb ass take is spreading.

Like it was one thing for you to be wrong

ITS ANOTHER THING FOR YOU TO BE WRONG AND MAKING OTHER PEOPLE MORE WRONG

If one more person says that Izuku is “underdeveloped” and that he’s “uninterested in all of his other relationships” and that he “has a power imbalance in his relationships with other characters bc they care more about him than he does them” STOP. PLEASE STOP.

A fundamental part of Izuku’s character: He is an UNRELIABLE NARRATOR. Most of his character is, therefore, told through SUBTEXT.

Izuku doesn’t say that he feels ashamed about his feelings for Katsuki.

But he does say that he thinks they’re gross.

Izuku doesn’t say that he thinks that Toga and her feelings aren’t human

But he does say that she is the “perfect counter to this quirk”.

THE LIST COULD GO ON.

Izuku is an unreliable narrator in a third person omniscient story (though sometimes mha acts more like a third person objective story? Anyway). That means that the way we do not understand the story is not through a retelling of what is happening to you, the viewer, unreliably—instead it is not telling you the full extent of his character and his thoughts.

To say “izuocha’s relationship is underdeveloped because it’s one sided” is NOT the same as saying “bkdk’s relationship is underdeveloped because it’s one sided”.

Izuku has always been obsessed with Katsuki. At some point the rhetoric being passed around was that it was Katsuki who was underdeveloped and uninterested in the dynamic. Now that rhetoric has been reversed since we’ve seen so much of Katsuki’s POV.

Ochako has always been obsessed with Izuku, NEVER THE OTHER WAY AROUND. In fact, Ochako’s arc even surrounded letting go of those feelings… as literally said in the text. Because that is a textual statement that she makes.

Izuku does not understand how or what Ochako loves in anybody, especially him. She loves a unique sense of personhood, which Izuku has always carried, and of which she saw in the entrance exam.

Izuku does not know how to view things he deems as “girly”, and Ochako very personally CANT be in a relationship with someone that she has realized is very repressed. Her friendships turn from friends to fascination very quickly, into her heroic form. (Think her few moments with Katsuki in that extra, or how disinterested she became of Izuku as she saw him run away from help, and not know how to respond to an apology. Or, hell, how much more interested she became when Himiko was honest with her feelings in their second real confrontation. She even says that she “admires how she can love so freely, and say it with her whole chest”)

LIKE ALL OF THESE THINGS. THIS IS WHY IZUOCHA ISNT DEVELOPED. That’s a purposeful choice in genius writing, at least in my opinion.

Bkdk is a result of Izuku being uninterested in acknowledging said feelings, and this is shown to be different because of the amount of times he has had that imply a deeper emotion or thought that we are not told. Think black whip, controlling your heart solely surrounding katsuki, “my feelings are gross”, the ear piercing scream when katsuki was kidnapped and the “this was a total loss” line, relaxing into katsuki’s arms after the apology, only coming home because of Katsuki, comparing romantic feelings toga had for him and admiration to ALLMIGHT and not katsuki who was “actually in his life”, I COULD GO ON FOR HOURS.

This is absolutely NOT underdeveloped, this is called SHOW NOT TELL. Horikoshi is so purposeful in what he shows vs what he tells. He tells you that ochako and toga are the same, he tells you that katsuki is worried about Izuku, he tells you that katsuki is there to step in when deku can’t handle it on his own, he tells you that ochako has a crush on Izuku, and he tells you that Katsuki is Izuku’s “closest person”.

But he also SHOWS YOU SO MUCH MORE. Unreliable narration is such a key part of Izuku and his character. Izuku doesn’t understand Izuku as much as the audience doesn’t understand him. It’s why I genuinely think most interpretations of his character are wrong, because you really can’t take him at his word. It’s the same reason no one understood katsuki for the longest time, he was in the same circumstances of a character who is only showed to you, not told.

I know i named so many god damn references so if anyone is curious as to what specifically I’m talking about with what, I’ll gladly show what scene I’m referring to. Apparently I can’t remember a damn thing but this manga anyway.

[huelovening]

let you break my heart again pt. 2

hueningkai x reader

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, hueningie says mean things

a/n: HI im so sorry this took like. a year i died

part 1 (UGH IT WONT LET ME LINK IT RIGHT NOW ILL UPDte later)

the amount of scolding kai had to endure after he came home, left him upset.

he opened the door and immediately came to sight of his four elders, expectantly looking at him. "where's y/n?"

oh, his next words will surely take a blow on them. "i-, i don't think y/n and i should spend time anymore. she likes me and i don't return her feelings like that."

mixtures of "WHAT?", "dude what the hell" and "beee so for real" spread throughout the room, kai sat down on the couch with his hyungs, expecting comforting words, but-

"dude, you can't be serious? you ruined your relationship with y/n, because apparently you don't feel the same way? i know you're insecure sometimes and unsure of your feelings but you like her. whenever we talk you bring her up, i was annoyed by it at some point but i knew how much she meant to you so i let it be. don't be a dumbass, kai." taehyun finished, sighing one last time.

"you don't know how i feel, don't fucking act like you do. she's nothing to me" kai spat, his words more venomous than ever.

he got up to go to his room after that, taking one last glance at his best friends infront of him.

he was furious, that was for sure. he couldn't understand why his friends had to meddle in his life like that, he could handle it on his own. though he knew he went kinda far and said words he didn't mean, (you were definitely not nothing to him) he didn't want to talk to them as for now.

kai never argued with his friends, so he didn't know what to do, but to rot in bed for a little while. he couldn't even talk to you cause he broke your heart!

the boy tried to act like it was your fault, for falling in love, for thinking he'd like you back. deep down, he knew, that some kind of feelings did in fact, linger for you.

not that he would ever admit.

truth to be told, he thought his heart had belong to yuna. though after their first date, he realised she wasn't what he wanted, she wasn't you. as he kept seeing her, the guilt ate him up, and she knew too. that's when she ended things, kai told this story to his friends, ...without the part where he didn't even like her.

so, what the hell is wrong with him? why did he reject you? it's so clear to everyone that he wants to be with you. he needs to let you know too.

you haven't been doing well. after listening in on his conversation soobin, you obviously knew he wouldn't want you, but still, it hurt.

so when you've spent the entire night crying your eyes out, you don't expect to hear the sound of the ringing of your doorbell at 3am.

you considered not getting up at all. probably just a prank, right? but with the loneliness consuming your mind, you already absentmindedly made your way to the door

"kai."

as soon as you see his face you want to leave. run out of the house, even if its yours. the thought of slamming the door into his face hurts you, seems too cruel. after all, he's still the same boy you fell in love with, even after getting hurt.

"y-y/n.. i-.. can i come in?" he stutters.

you study his face, not knowing what his intentions were. he walks to the couch you've shared endless amounts of time on, laughing together and you cant help but think if you ruined it for good.

as you both sit down, he expectantly looks at you, didn't he initiate this? "kai, what is it? i know how you feel, we don't need to talk any more about this." you shrug, acting as nonchalant as possible.

"no, y/n... it's.. i made a mistake." he takes a deep breather in between his sentences. "i like you. fuck, i know i cant say this but i love you. i always did, i don't know why i acted the way i did.. i guess i was scared. i'm an asshole, i know and i understand if you can't forgive me but.. i just need you to know, that it's always been you. i'm sorry." he finishes

you're speechless. out of everything that could've happened, you didn't expect this, not at all. (which doesn't mean you're not excited about it!)

"kai.. i.. i love you too but i need some time. suddenly you don't like me and then you do? i forgive you but.. i need to think about this." you say.

he gives you a look which.. you don't know how to quiet read. is he glad? or angry at you? you start becoming nervous again until he starts speaking. "okay. that's fine. take all off the time you need"

he finally shows his signature smile again, the one that makes you weak in the knees, the one that makes you want to kiss him stupid.

he indulges you in a warm hug and you cant help feel your heart beating the same way that it always has for him, and for the first time that night, you giggle.

"spend the night?"

[iapislazuli]

nightheart, finchlight, and pre-verbal trauma

(sorry, i ramble a bit here lol)

im surprised i havent seen any discussion or analyses on nightheart / finchlight and pre-verbal trauma, since that's like, exactly what happened to them? (And nipping this in the bud right away no, I'm not saying this is Sparkpelt's fault btw, she was suffering from grief and PPD, and she made the best posible choice by having sorrelstripe foster her kits! for her situation, she was the best parent she could've been). but finch and night were so young, they couldn't understand what was happening. they were newborn kittens who couldnt see or hear, the only thing they knew was their mother's scent, and they got taken away from her, and thrust into a new space wholly unfamiliar to them with no warning. yes, it was for a good reason, and yes in the long run it likely benefitted their health physically. and yes, it was for a comparatively short amount of time, too. but them experiencing that at such a young age, having all they've ever known taken from them when they can't even open their eyes yet is, well, traumatic! young children experience the world so much differently than teenagers and adults. everything happening to them is basically happening for the first time. how did they knew sparkpelt would come back? they didn't! they had no way to understand the idea of PPD and grief. the effects of pre-verbal trauma sticks with you for life even if you can't remember it. this is such a huge misconception about child psychology it makes me crazy. a baby being so young it can't talk doesn't mean it doesnt have feelings!! and this leads to my next point...

which is how the differences in their adolescences led to their abilities to cope with this trauma being different. pre-verbal trauma causes abandonment issues and trouble regulating emotions among other symptoms; something nightheart very obviously struggled with. but what about his sister? finchlight is seemingly way more well-adjusted. this is likely because she chose to follow her mother to exile. wether knowingly or not, she didn't reinforce the abandonment issues caused by her pre-verbal trauma, which led to her being a more well adjusted adult with less glaringly obvious emotional issues. it could have also caused her to become unhealthily clingy to her mother, leading her trauma to manifest in a different way. maybe she also has empathy issues, not understanding why her brother cant just "get over it" like she did (she didn't just get over it tho, lol, she's just coping in a different way). there's lots of room for interpretation with finchlight, i think. while the authors' choice to apply this experience only to nightheart is frustratingly arbitrary and follows warrior cats' very protagnist-centric narratives, i do believe that following an analysis based on the idea of pre-verbal trauma and finchlight's choice to follow her mother into exile, you can explain why these two siblings reacted to the same situation so different. and i think looking to it that way, it's pretty damn interesting!!

[idc-i-just-want-pokemon]

So i've been hyperfixating on ut aus again and reading @signanothername posts have been scratching that itch for the murder time trio and nightmare so

I did a thing.

I've been working on Cally in different AUs so I decided, fuck it, imma put my shitty fc in with the edgiest boys in the ut multiverse.

Basic rundown is the gang attack a timeline with a Cally in it, Horror sees them and because horror came from a timeline with a Cally he tries to act all cool and like he's their Sans. When Cally starts to notice the red eye, the axe, the kinda more mean spirited humour and the crack in the skull Horror hears his coworkers and is like "welp". So he throws Cally over his shoulder and decides the safest place they are is with him, he takes Cally all the way back to the meet up spot and all the while Cally sees people they know running in the opposite direction not being able to see what they're running from but knowing they are heading towards it with someone who is now a stranger to them forcing them towards it. yada yada everyone meets up and is like "tf" when they see Cally and Horror is all "hey they cant do nothin so no problem right? I want a hampter" Nightmare gets briefly pissy but seeing that Dust and Horror clearly have an attachment to the anomaly he like "wow blackmail? sweet" so he says fuck it and allows them to be taken back. So they do and Cally is shitting themselves as they do because they didn't even know Aus exist let alone that there were sanses who could teleport and have tentacles and they're still kinda hung up on the big crack in the head like didn't he have 1 HP how the fuck is he? why the fuck is he? When the fuck is he? when the fuck are they? Are they in a castle? Why a castle? What Sans would be so self involved to even want to have a fucking castle?

But yeah shit happens and Horror tries to take care of Cally when he's there but he is Horror so that basically amounts to letting Cally lean their head on his shoulder and making sure they're fed, Dust tries to avoid Cally and never looks them in the eyes, Killer is intrigued with Cally's relationships with the other Sans' but he figures Cally out as a person pretty quickly and gets bored with them, And when all the others aren't around visiting their AUs Nightmare uses Cally as either a punching bag for fun or basically a pet cat depending on the point in the story, when it comes to the others being around Nightmare will withhold Cally as punishment keeping Cally locked in a room on their own and not letting Horror or Dust know if their dead or alive. When Nightmare is feeling particularly bitchy or upset he'll fuck with Cally by saying shit like they specifically targeted their au for them or that everyone in their timeline doesn't even care anymore that they're gone and are even much happier or even that they aren't the first Cally they've done this to and if they jump out of that window right now then they'll just go to another Cally au and do the exact same thing they did to their timeline again.

Of course they're still the first, Nightmare doesn't care enough about the leverage it gives him over Horror and Dust to go out of his way to get another one if they die, besides it's a lot easier to keep feeding them Oran berries when they get down to 1 hp. He just likes to watch the little spark of indignation in their face die at the thought of being responsible for copies of their loved ones being hurt or killed because of them and their disposition become lifeless as they realise they're never getting out of there, never getting away from him.

SO YEAH THAT'S LIKE MY SHITTY BRAIN BARF HOPE YOU ATLEAST SEMI ENJOYED READING IT??

[o-sunny-day]

Oh boy this is about to be a double whammy…

Ive got an amv idea! Im probably not gonna start it for a bit though cause im *cough* busy

but also! Ive got an UNDERTALE ANALYSIS!!! so thought id share now…

“Merry Christmas, Please Dont Call” by Bleachers has been getting quite popular on tiktok, and OHH its soooooo good…

Listening to it on repeat though… It got me thinking… and appreciating sans’ character…. a LOT MORE??

Like yeah I already did really like/appreciate him, but this song is giving a LOTT more words to those feelings- AND YEAH.

This is gonna be a wonderful spiral of AMV visualizing + Undertale character/theme analysis… SO ENJOY! IF YOU WANT!

Heres a visual for the lyrics I have most in mind!

We start off strong, in an ending where you’ve gone and killed Papyrus and/or an inexcusable amount of Monsters-

The subject of this song is about Frisk/You as the player. Its even more fun this way cause Sans in game calls you “kid”…

and its even BETTER with this spesific line from the Empress Undyne Ending (w Papyrus dead) in mind AUGH

You Left Me On The Line Kid, Holding All Your Baggage.

Sans believes that “the anomaly” is doing all of this for SOME reason, subconsciously or not. Maybe they’re just missing something in their life, and thinking this will all fill their void??

But…In an ending where you’ve killed way too many people/Papyrus, I imagine Sans cant exactly justify whatever reason he believes the anomaly has anymore.

So, the wording “left me on the line with all your baggage” is him basically saying “you took out all your personal problems on people that were not in any way involved, and ruined my entire life. what the hell, man?”

Then the rest of that verse carries that same vibe/meaning.

Oh Golden Boy, You Shined A Light On Your Home. And At Your Best, You Were Magic, I Was Sold.

This part then takes place in the Pacifist route. At your BEST. When Sans has the most hope that the anomaly has found what it’s looking for.

Ofc, Sans doesnt REMEMBER anything you did, but the proof of time jumping seems to leave him with the same impression. (Also he’s pretty confident you’re responsible just cause of your expressions n all that) He even says so himself in the geno route that ORIGINALLY, before the routes you decide to go on/the humans appearance, hes always believed/wanted to believe whatever/whoever was causing this just wanted to be happy.

So in this ending, he’s hopeful that you’ve found whatever you’re looking for! he was sold…

But Don’t Tell ‘Em What You Told Me, Don’t Even Tell ‘Em That You Know Me. Id Rather Hurt Forever.

This line then switches to a potential Roommate Toriel Neutral Ending

“Don’t tell em you told/know me” referring to how he wants to keep what happened with Papyrus secret from Toriel,

“Id rather hurt forever” being an add/on to that: him preferring suffering in silence over Toriel feeling responsible for what happened.

THEN! LAST VERSE! This one is just tying everything up we’ve already discussed in a nice bow, but we still gotta digest it in chunks-

But You Should Know, That I Died Slow. Running Through The Halls Of Your Haunted Home.

BACK TO THE GENO ROUTE! Sans is dying/dead-

“running through halls of your haunted home” is kinda perfect for Chara though since…this home WAS theirs, and it is currently very haunted- with them and Asriel dying there- n all that….

And The Toughest Part Is That We Both Know What Happened To You. Why You’re Out On Your Own.

At this point of Sans laying down in The Judgment Hall, accepting death, he’s also accepting defeat. You both know why you’re doing this. That “Why” being….nothing. There was no reason, you just COULD. Thats why you’re “On your own” (in this game ofc this is not a personal attack-)

Merry Christmas, Please Dont Call.

AUUGH. The whole gang is celebrating Christmas in the Pacifist Route, but transitioning to a leaderless ending where only Sans remains, on the phone and saying his farewells to the thing that destroyed his world.

aaaand, see thats why i’m antsy about making this…I wanna get it out as a Christmas post ☹️

BUT YEAH! I really like considering this whole thing from Sans’ lense, cause honestly I DON’T believe he’s that nihilistic! Yeahh its a super horrible and soul crushing situation- and it is hard to “give it your all” when you have iron clad evidence that everything you’ve ever done/will do will just repeat and go on and on, not having true consequences, therefore, not matter.

But… if him not giving a shit were the case, why would he do ANYTHING he does??

He still shows up for the people he cares about/care for him, thats the main thing. He does things that matter to HIM, things that make him happy. He enjoys his life to the fullest. If the day is repeating, why not make that day the best day of your life??

And ive already went over how he sees you. I dont think he…likes?? you persay?? at least definitely NOT in endings where you clearly are killing people to see what will happen- but he has FAITH, hope, even. That you’ll do the right thing…..Eventually.

side note: I also know Sans and Papyrus are absolutely contradictions of each other for interesting dynamic/slapstick reasons- but they’re also REALLY SIMILAR??? Flowey is a reflection of the player… and Papyrus has faith in HIM! Idk, i also just think the connections between a lot of characters are really interesting!

[eternitas]

Damn Lolo, that’s so much money gave for the sushi and tip. How much do you make?

(Ooooh! This is such an interesting question and I should make an official chart for it one day, but for now no art, sorry. I am also bad with numbers, I am that ''it's one banana michael, how much could it cost? 10$?" quote. I know how much I THINK is expensive when grocery shopping, but when it comes to wages? Not so easy.)

"Okay first of all? Don't call me that. Second: I am not supposed to talk about our wages. Third: it's around 350K a year, which is an outrage, but what do you expect in an organisation run by Mammon?

It can vary though. See, a lot of factors count into how the price is calculated. How many people are targeted? What is their threat level? Is it a mission that will take longer time? What team compilation needs to be made? All these things are calculated by the boss and Mammon, and then brought to the client who can take the offer or scram.

We Varia members then get payed on two different paytypes. The Flat Payrate and the Hourly Payrate.

An Hourly Payrate- well it's in the name. We count the hours we need for the mission and get payed a set hourly rate which depends on Mission rank. That's why higher ranks are usually send for really easy missions when it can be helped, because it wouldn't take as long as for someone with a lower rank.

The FLAT Payrate on the other hand is one set amount of pay for the entirety of the mission. It doesnt matter if the mission is done in 15 minutes, multiple hours or even a stake out with multiple days, the payment you get stays the same.

Mammon does that to minimize our wages and make sure most money can be pocketed by him and the other officers. While the boss SOMETIMES gets invovled and tells him to cut it out, he also doesnt particularly care and Captain Squalo cant be fucking bothered to always tripple check the books.

Sometimes the Clouds (and with "Clouds" I mean Maki) find some disparency in the archived reports and finance documents which is really satisfying, because it always ends up in Mammon getting grilled, but the Clouds are already busy as they are.

Aside of that whole ordeal-- I just don't have anything to spend money on so it kind piles up. People like Sergey who have so many social contacts, they constantly spoil with presents, will run low, even with that payment and Jaque puts most of his money back into the black community, but otherwise? What is there to put all this money to?

For the job we do and our Rank, its absolutely abysmally low money, especially compared to the entry wages the grunts get as an incentive to join, but its also not exactly little money to starve on. Especially if you consider that higher ranks get all sorts of accomondations like living, food, travel, gear repair and uniform maintenance expanses being taken care of."

[mideop]

Because there hasn’t been a lot of posts today (I was too busy partying lol) Have some.. ★Dust!Goldie fun facts★

(I apologise in advance, this has a lot of dumb ranting ALSO - I refer to Dust!goldie as both Dust (his nickname/codename) and Goldie!)

• Goldie, after waking up/being revived, waited in the back rooms for roughly another 7 months until he heard Freddy and the others getting their Christmas presents, and they didn’t bring one for him, thats when he realised he wasn't getting let out. Thats also when he learnt to teleport! He wished to be out the backrooms so badly, it actually happened! (Was rather jarring for him at the time.)

∙ Dust cant actually eat anything, no one can clean out his stomach hatch because no one that can clean it knows he exists! (He is very sad about this fact.)

∙ Mike knows Goldie exists, he isnt paid enough to care.

∙ One time, one of the animatronics found an old Golden Freddy plush, and brought it to Freddy. Freddy just played it off as a special edition recolour of himself and took it to “throw it away.” He kept that plush and hid it away in a drawer. He could barely look at it.

∙ Animatronics have to have limited amounts of tears right? They cant cry forever, they'd run out of water eventually! That happened to Goldie, he physically can’t cry because he’s out of tears. He cried so much he can’t anymore. (Ignore that one comic where Mari gives him a gift and he tears up, that was just for special effect 😅)

• Where does Dust charge? How does he get energy to stay alive? Well, the same way he solves all problems in this AU, theft. He steals the charge boxes. And implants them himself. Hey, he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do to survive! • Dust is actually kinda scared of Freddy - I mean the dude literally almost left him to die (at least from his perspective) , even though he's seen how remorseful Freddy is and how depressed he is, that knowledge he could literally kill you if he wanted is gonna make you wary of the guy, if Freddy did ever spot him I feel like it would go like this :

"Wowwieee omg im sorry for almost leaving you to die uh you still shouldnt have killed that child though. So happy your still alive you wanna go play tetris or something?"

"AHHHH-PLEASE DON’T KILL ME-“

• Goldie in this AU never really got his stomach/mouth cleaned after the bite, he was just straight away thrown into the backrooms. There’s still traces of blood in his mouth that he can taste but he can’t eat anything to distract himself from it. Moths/butterflies (I can’t remember if it was moths or butterflies that are attracted to dead bodies, but it was one of them) are attracted to him because of the blood still remaining inside of him.

Might edit and add some more later!

[meganwasbored]

The Dragon Prince Thoughts Season 3 Episode 9

-THIS IS IT

-wait does he actually have to paint the symbols on his arms to get the spell to work or is he just trying stuff because if he does does that mean that ibis has them tattooed on his arms or something? that made no sense i should probably watch more than 5 seconds before i start making stuff up

-WAS HE ABOUT TO SAY I LOVE YOU

-soren’s character development from season 1 to now is incredible i went from being slightly annoyed by him to loving every second he’s on screen

-is it just me or is aaravos’s snake form thing longer than it was last episode

-OMG CALLUMS TRANSLATING I JUST REMEMBERED GREN ISNT HERE WHERE IS HE

-won’t they all die on the way up because of the air or does their demon form change that

-THE LAST DRAGON GUARD

-wait why is callum down here i thought the plan was for him to stay near the top to pick them off on their way up

-SERIOUSLY WHO IS THIS GUY

-claudia carrying the whole army rn

-NOOOOO NOT THE DRAGONS

-IDC IF HES THE KING HES STILL A CHILD GET EZRAN OUT OF THERE

-“it’s going to be okay, wee fella” not when the thousands of demon soldiers burst through that doorway

-ok so the rainbow lighting did nothing but at least it was pretty

-THERE ISNT A SINGLE PERSON WITH CALLUM???? THEY LITERALLY JUST DROPPED HIM OFF LIKE “YOURE ON YOUR OWN KID SEE YOU IF YOU SURVIVE”

-everyone could just swarm kasef and claudia for a second and it would solve 90% of our problems

-callum why do still you have your emotional support sketchbook on you in battle i feel like that’s just slowing you down buddy

-AANYA WHERE DID YOU COME FROM

-THE MOST ICONIC CHARACTER AND I MEAN THAT MY QUEENNNN

-IM SPEECHLESS OMG

-I CAME HERE FOR RAYLLUM BUT I STAYED FOR THE BROYALS

-CRYINGGGGGG GREN AND AMAYA BACK AGAIN I FORGOT HE PROBABLY THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD SINCE THE VOLCANO

-SKBAIFBEODBDOSNDOSJWLWHAODH

-THE ELVES BOWING TO EZRAN

-EZRAN THE BATTLE LITERALLY JUST ENDED YOU CANT JUST RUN OFF ON YOUR OWN LIKE THAT

-WHAY WAS VIREN HIDING UNDER A BLANKET AND WHY WAS CLAUDIA WALKING AWAY FROM HIM WHAT IS GOING ON

-NO WORDS THIS IS TRULY SORENS EPISODE

-THE AMOUNT OF SOUL CRUSHING TRAUMA HE JUST WENT THROUGH IN THE PAST HOUR

-THIS ONLY TERRIFIES ME BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW HES GONNA SURVIVE SO WHAT HORRIBLE THING IS CLAUDIA GONNA DO TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN

-ALSO SOMEONE LITERALLY JUST GOT STABBED RIGHT BEFORE EZRANS EYES POOR BABY

-SHUT UP HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT COMING

-HOW DID HE GET UP THERE

-RAYLA IS IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION HER PARENTS WERE IN THIS SPOT I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

-HARVEST????? CONSUME??????

-BAIT OMG

-IM SO DUMB HER PARENTS ARE COINS LIKE RUNAAN ARENT THEY

-I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS

-I WENT INTO THIS THINKING I ALREADY KNEW MOSTLY EVERYTHING THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN AND I WAS SO SO WRONG

-BAITS FACE WHEN RAYLA CALLED HIM A HERO

-PUT ZYM DOWN RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME I WILL KILL YOU THROUGH THE SCREEN

-OKAY I KNOW SHES GONNA SURVIVE THIS AND YOU KNOW SHES GONNA SURVIVE THIS BUT SHE DOESNT KNOW SHES GONNA SURVIVE THIS WHICH MEANS SHE JUST SACRIFICED HER LIFE FOR THAT DRAGON

-THE FACT THAT HE DIDNT EVEN THINK TWICE ABOUT JUMPING AFTER HER

-pause can we talk about how strong rayla is to hold herself up like that i’d be dead

-this is the one time the “we beat the unbeatable villain through ✨the power of love✨” trope is acceptable

-this is awesome and all and i’m loving every second of it but why are we acting like everything is okay it’s not claudia is still out there with a super powerful staff that could destroy that whole cave with all of you in it if she gets up there

-also i can’t be that only one who doesn’t see the point of this baker like i feel like they just put him here because they can he serves literally no purpose

-wow very convenient of you to wake up right after the battle is over it’s not like you couldve been a huge life saving help anyway😐

-ZYM IS LITERALLY THE SIZE OF THE QUEENS EYEBALL I CANT

-i’m sorry i still can’t get over the fact that the dragons can talk i don’t know how to feel about it

-claudia’s hair is now half white i don’t like this

-if aaravos hatches out of that cocoon i’m gonna lose my freaking mind

-my word that was a lot

-you’re telling me y’all had to wait 3 YEARS after this cliffhanger for season 4???? i’m suddenly very glad i didn’t start watching until now i don’t think i could’ve handled that

[fictionkinfessions]

now isnt it just the darnedest thing? see, logically, i know that "my sweet boss who loved me and seemed loyal enough to our cause" and "the awful manipulative spy who murdered me for knowing too much" are the same person. logically i know this, i mean its simply fact, no amount of history - real or fake between us - can change that, no amount of disguises can hide that anymore. and a part of me is still Ruined over all that - i HATE small spaces now, hate how i cant run and run and run anymore, even in THIS body nothing changes nothing got better and EVERYTHING STAYED and its awful and i carry it with me even now. and i know, i KNOW that its HIS fault. i know he must have been lying, because he was, and he never truly loved me, only used me for convenience. i KNOW this. I KNOW THIS.

but still. its so hard NOT to separate him from himself, the disguise from the truth, the fact from fiction. i know, logically, that my dear longarm is also my cruel killer shockwave. but in my mind i just.. i cant make that connection, its impossible, every time i start its like it simply computes wrong, like an error, and i just cant understand it. its distressing, because im still being effected. why cant i just understand this? why do i have to keep questioning if his lies were true? why do i have to keep seeing him as different people? why am i doing this to myself, and when did i lose the ability to stop?? why do i keep wanting to go back to him, seeing him as someone separate, when i KNOW its wrong???

if only one of you could knock some sense into me! maybe then i could get my helm on straight and forget all about him.. if he even did show up again, what would i even say? i just cant know. i dont think i even really WANT to know now that i think of it. its just..... a lot.

- blurr, transformers animated, fictive.

0

[cheolhub]

Talk about your moots; what do you like most about them (could be a paragraph or a single sentence, spread the love!!)

p sure i did this just a few days ago but everyone knows i adore my moots so i dont mind doing it again :)

it’s kinda long! (took me a literal hour and a half to write) and i tried to get everyone i talk to on a tri-weekly basis at least 😅

@ncteez i know you said to pick what i like most abt my moots, but i love everything about hon from the way she looks (she’s literally the most gorgeous person ever— she still owes me a selfie now that im thinking abt it) right down to her core. 🥹 the only mark stan who has ever walked the planet actually,,, i love hearing about her sex dreams and i love the way that she gives the best advice bc she only wants the best for me and how genuine she is. I LOVE HER & she makes me a better person every day, seriously ⭐️ i <3 my wife

@jeonghantis 🩵 there are about a million and three things that i can write for keir but i think the thing i love most about them is that… i can just be sar with them, i never have to worry about being judged for the things i like bc 9 times out of 10, keir feels the same way. like who else am i gonna talk about [redacted] with chan with ??? or [ censored beeping for 10 minutes straight ] with sangyeon ?? my jeonghannie, my bff, my ride or die <3 (they also hate everyone that i hate and watch my instagram lives even tho im super annoying which means i am going to die for them)

@onlyseokmins literally just love elv’s personality. she has this infectious positivity and it makes me so happy to be alive like dhahdh,,, every time i see her on the dash reblogging the silliest things or cute pics or even talking to other people, it makes me smile so hard like idk she’s so bright PLUS she’s resident dk lover on tumblr like there is no one else. tumblr user onlyseokmins is quite literally the only dk stan alive

@lovelyhan ok two things i love the most — one: kai’s writing will always get me out of a reading slump. i re-read their fics an ungodly amount of times, like i actually need to be blocked by them ( i definitely didn’t re-read inflection point again TODAY on my lunch break, nope! i didn’t! 😂……) TWO: kai is literally so sweet and funny and we don’t really talk much, but from what i know, they’re a really great person and anyone would be lucky to have them as a moot! ^^

@agustdiv1ne ash and i are actually moving to alaska and we’re gonna be neighbors /srs,,, srsly tho, i told her this already, but she’s an amazing listener and she puts up with my shitty texting and i seriously cant appreciate that more 😢 she’s so wonderful and lovely and my favorite yoongi stan to ever exist and i will shield her from the heat. don’t worry, ash, 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚.

@soonigiri MELODY <333 the soonyoung to my cheol!! she’s also someone i enjoy seeing on my dash sm!! she’s literally an angel and it’s so endearing to see her in her engene era. like i look forward to seeing jungwon on my dash every day /srs — OKAY ACTUALLY, ik im an awkward freak but i would love to talk to you more bc i think we have a lot in common T-T

@etherealyoungk SKYE i know we interact like every 3 weeks but each of them do really mean a lot to me <33 i think she’s really kind-hearted and i get really happy when i see her jn my inbox from time to time!! it’s like a nice little surprise which i love 🥹💝 it’s like finding a rice krispie at the bottom of my lunch box (if you don’t know the feeling, think immense joy)

@rubyreduji JJ THE COOLEST GUY EVER. he’s such a joy to talk to and i love that he’s lowkey my hypeman. every time i run a concept or idea by him, he makes me feel really good about it and i adore that. he’s so supportive i love him and i need to hug him so bad actually 🥹 (i give good bear hugs jj, pls let me hug u) also jj doesnt care that im a weirdo awkward freak and i have to commend him for that too ☺️

@toruro mikalicious always know what to say which is what i love the absolute most abt them now. when im in a shit mood, she knows exactly how to make me feel better and always helps me take my mind off of it. she’s so cute and wonderful inside and out and i really am so eternally grateful to have her as a mutual and a friend <33 also, mika, this is my formal apology for being the world’s worst texter 😅

@gyuswhore EM THE COOLEST PERSON EVER. i love her so much actually. she and i just started talking and i have to say, she is just so,,,, amazing? idk, i dont have the words for it. she was so kind to me when reading my wonu fic and she just read over my new cheol wip and she has given me such great feedback and im so appreciative of her!! + sending pics is lowkey my love language and she lets me send her the most random shit (my pc collection, my room, etc.) i love her 💝

@hwanghyunjinenthusiast MY FAV JOKSTER dbehdh talking to rj is seriously a breath of fresh air lol I LOVE her humor and she understands my humor. ALSO….. something about rj’s writing also does something to me… like i remember i was super depressed while i had strep and on a brief tumblr hiatus and i came onto the app for just a second and saw that she’d posted … mean dom!chan… i remember reading it and crying bc she GETS IT. no one gets me like rj (i forgot to rb now that im thinking abt it but im gonna get on that) my fave dinonara <3

@heesbaby TUMBLR USER HEESBABY SINGLE HANDEDLY GOT ME BACK INTO ENHYPEN. i never thought id see the day, but bc of her smau’s and writing, i’m back in my engene era… i love how much of an angel cinna is like,,, we talk every once in awhile but she makes me the happiest girl ever when she replies to my asks or i find her in my inbox. i’ll actually fight jay for cinna

@hyuk4ngel RESIDENT MINGYU STAN,, fay has been here with me since what feels like the fucking beginning and i seriously can’t thank her enough. she’s really encouraging and amazing and she has the best ideas ever. i swear half of my writing discography is thanks to her (just my mingyu fics which is lowekey half my writing discography begsgs) she also is always checking in and i just love her for that and many other things 🥹

@baeksbyunny / @baekhyunnybyun (you’ll have to remind me which acct im supposed to tag) BEX MY BELOVED!!! THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HER IS SERIOUSLY INDESCRIBABLE!!! she’s the nicest person to me. like i’ll never forget when i was anxious before my txt concert and she was so reassuring like i felt a weight lift off my shoulders. INSTANT (sar)otonin boost every time we talk, idk what it is. probably the fact that she has the most comforting presence. i love her, you honor. i rest my case.

@majestyjun mills was like the first moot i’d ever talked to,,, but i remember i was so intimidated the first time we did bc millie is literally so fucking cool like,,, i have always thought this and when she said //I// was cool and i was genuinely so honored like…. idk >< ALSO HER WRITING IS SOHSHSBS OUT OF THIS WORLD … the concepts the description,,, she’s a genius!!!

@sunnylovespickles even tho we just became moots, i thought it was really sweet that she dropped off pics of pink!cheol for me 🥹 my day was really bad and that brightened it so much <33 i hope to have more interactions with her in the future bc she seems so nice!!

[watashime-ciel]

explaining the reason why some songs were added to some of my RH playlists because i cant just drop that and not elaborate and i have nothing better to do

i believe the title cannot be clearer than that so. yeah

when i quote a lyrics from the song instead of explaining thats because its a piece of lore im not ready to share because its too personal, too explicit, too sad, or i simply dont want to. this can make you think whats going on with the goofy goobers and make your own headcanons or scenarios. maybe. idk. still, huge TW for lyrics touching mental health generally, su1cide, s/h, EDs and s3xual themes

and ocean o'connor rosenberg

STARTING WITH DJ YELLOW because i always follow the same pattern when i talk of rhythm heaven

RAT A TAT WRITER by FAKE TYPE.: one of his favourite electro swing songs, which he forced Red to make a cover of

Valentino by Olly Alexander: "i should've known not to trust Valentino."

Wanna Be Someone by Telehope: a comfort song for his grey days

Toon Bangers by FAKE TYPE.: his first feminine cosplay was DEMONDICE in Toon Bangers, debuting with Connie and Red in a big convention. they performed that song so it has a special place in his heart

Born This Way by Lady Gaga: guess. just guess. because yellow is the straightest person i know /j

Happy Pills by Weathers: "the voices in my right brain are kinda funny. they tell me, take a deep breath. it's always sunny." piece of lore i'm not ready to share, but maybe dj yellow isn't that happy after all

Help! Oh, Well... by I'm Something Else YT: literally the song explains everything. and yes he needs help /hsrs

Poison by Blake Roman: "what's the worst part of this Hell? I can only blame myself", "wish I had something to live for tomorrow"

Empty by Jaiden Animations and BoyInABand: "but it's so overwhelming and i hope no one can tell, cuz the numbers keep decreasing, this ordeal is becoming routine. check; arms, back, neck, thighs. suck it in and pinch my sides. the scales are betraying me, the mirror is a lie! numbers. it all comes down to numbers. i know it's wrong, but just because you know you're colourblind it doesn't means you can't see the colours. fine! i admit i'm addicted! but the hunger feels good, how do i quit this?! i know i could die, i've seen the statistics! but the voices are with me through thick and thin..."

Noel's Lament from Ride The Cyclone: Yellow is like Noel fr and he quotes "GOD DAMMIT WOULD YOU KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS FOR JUST A SECOND YOU HORRIBLE SUCCUBUS!?" everyday

MEGANE by UltraNoob: ...he's a completely different person when he uses his glasses. way different.

Trapped In A Dream by RudyWade: the amount of times he woke up from a dream INSIDE A DREAM is insane, feeling like alive is not something he is during those moments. and he always feels like hes going to be trapped forever, which he hates because "the feeling of not being alive is not like not being alive, that's terrifying..". quote, "the clock is ticking, time's running out. i need to wake up, i need to shout. i need to find my way back to life. [...] wake me up, set me free from this dreaming misery. i need to feel alive again!"

Lagtrain by 稲葉曇: the whole song is one he finds the most melancholic of all. he usually hears Mako sing it, and he just breaks down to tears because its so magestic yet so sad and entertaining and melodic and-

Girls by MARINA: "look like a girl, but i think like a guy. not lady like to behave like a slime.", "is there any possibility you'll quit gossiping about me to hide your insecurities? all you say is blah, blah. girls, they never befriend me cuz i fall asleep when they speak of all the calories they eat! all they say is nanananana."

Magical Doctor by MARETU: literally the heaviest song he uses to vent emotionally. like- he screams along

I/Me/Myself by Will Wood: "i wish i could be a girl! and, really, i'd prefer it if you used 'i/me/myself'. am i pretty enough? am i pretty enough to fucking die!?"

bonus: cardigan by Taylor Swift. "you drew stars around my scars". this is something Blue voluntarely offered Yellow to do as a way of comfort and help with urges, also adding the rainbow breathing technique

the end. probably as i add more i will add more to this explanation list in a separate post

BLUE🗣️🗣️

Descartable by Tronic: a song he animated fully of him and all his friends (and yellow). it was the first time he got out his comfort zone

Space Age Bachelor Man from Ride The Cyclone: his ocs and Ricky are very much the same in terms of... lore. but not Ricky's lore. i mean the space Jesus lore. if you watched the musical you know what i mean

Tiempo by Darkar Alatriz (Vete A La Versh): this song hits me way too personally, as i always dedicate it to my deceased pet dog. i really cant get into much detail without hearing the lyrics in my head and thinking of her, but i dont want to keep this song out and act like its not there. i can only say Blue also lost something important to him at an age he considers young. but it wasnt a pet, but two people that are important for a young person whos still growing up

At Atelier by FAKE TYPE.: he sticks to the idea of "imagination has no limits" really well like Miss Atelier, always working hard to improve and finding inspiration everywhere

Candy by Paolo Nutini: okay. i cant act like this story didnt happen. at some point, Blue proposes to Yellow, and he obviously accepts. Candy was playing during Yellow's entrance. but this story happens in the future. waaaaay into the future... but

Cendrillon 10th Anniversary by DiosP: this is the song that replaced the classic waltz music. this song was also Blue and Yellow's debut in a cosplay contest as Cendrillon Miku and Cendrillon KAITO, winning on best performance btw

Alguien Como Tú by Jósean Log: this song is in Spanish, but its about a man in love with a woman. the woman either doesnt knows or doesnt feels the same for him, so he sings asking if she knows someone else with certain qualities she has, saying that if he cant be with her he wants to be with someone like her. during the years where Blue wanted to confess to Yellow but he was scared, he felt very much like this

Keep This To Myself by Casper Caan: the calm and melancholic tune of the song plus the chorus makes him think of the times he repressed his own feelings to help Yellow, as he is the one thats in danger almost everytime, not Blue. "Cuz I have a plan you don't know; i'll keep this to myself"

No Llora by El Cuarteto De Nos: i invite you to translate the lyrics to understand better. this is another song that hits me way too personally so i cant drop the lore. but have this in mind: Blue represses his own feelings so much that he can be a bit emotionless from the outside. now its because he wants to focus on Yellow's health first, but back in the day, he used to do it to prove himself he is strong enough to not cry for everything. although he would go back home and cry on Ann Gler's shoulder (Ann Gler took take of him during his childhood). thats all i can say. i cant quote anything because it burns

J.J

although many of those songs are what he plays on the guitar or sings, there are a few that go beyond that

Get Out The Way by Mother Mother: "i'm not antisocial, i'm just tired of the people. and i'm fine while rolling solo, so get out."

I Can't Handle Change by ROAR: "nothing i do is ever good. nothing i do is ever good enough. nothing i do is ever good. [...] leave me alone, leave me alone..." "i can't help but redeem myself, i know it's not your fault. still, lately i begin to shake for no reason at all."

all Megamasso songs: part of his lore, where he played in the Rhythm Heaven equivalent of Megamasso (Leo [Watashime Slug]'s band before WataSlug) as the second guitar

Christmas Kids by ROAR: "you'll change your name and change your mind, and leave this fucked up place behind, but i'll know, i'll know..." "if you ever try to leave me, i'll find you, Ronnie."

Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother: "you gotta see the artistry in tearing the place apart with me, baby. i am unruly in the stands. i am a rock on top of the sand. i am a fist amidst the hands, and i break it just because i can. let's break it just because we can! deface it just because we can! let's break it just because!... just because.... just because, just because..."

Do You Think About Me?: surprisingly, his mental health improved the instant he befriended Cecil, and got even better when they started dating. although, at some point, he got to a downfall. he becane a clingy person towards Cecil, always anxious if Cecil is being honest or not. in the end, they are the only shoulder he can cry on. "there's a fairytale in our song, it brought us together, gave us a new start. i was lost, falling apart. you gave me a spot somewhere in your heart... and act of God? a shooting star? you came from afar, with open arms... it was so dark, as cold as November almost over, i told ya..."

Cecil💥

What The World Needs from Ride The Cyclone: Ocean reminds them of their mother. she, in reality, was a very close minded, mean, homophobic and egocentric. if you didn't do something as she wanted, then the world doesn't needs you. thankfully she changed, but she was a pain in the ass. like Ocean. nobody likes Ocean.

the majority of songs that sound childish, are from kids shows, etc etc, stick to their desire of never growing up and enjoy a happy childhood they really didn't have. i don't know if it's age regression, at least in Cecil's case (but it is for another goofy goober i'm not specifying), but they find the most comfort in a childish environment, ambiented with music

Body by Mother Mother: us genderqueer people have been in that existential crisis where we even question ourselves if we even exist. well, it got to Cecil really fast the moment they let their hair grow enough to look at themself in the mirror and scream in confussion. and somedays it got really bad that they just- well- read the lyrics-

Towards The Sun by Rihanna: no their favourite movie is not Home. its more of the melancholic tune that they like. it also helps them release more tears when crying becomes a hard task, and even need help with that

we fell in love in october by girl in red: J.J AND CECIL STARTED DATING IN OCTOBER. I REPEAT, J.J AND CECIL STARTED DA-

i wanna be your girlfriend: the day before Cecil confessed felt like that for them

Empty by Jaiden Animations and BoyInABand: they struggle to eat. simple as that. maybe it's the colour, the shape, the smell, the taste... they just struggle and need time to finish a few bites. they're in their way tho, trying new foods everyday with J.J's help. the song is not directly on their playlist, it's just like a character soundtrack, as much of the lyrics can be connected to Cez

Last Effect by last note.: berore playing the guitar, they played the violin, and this song is one they played last before switching completely to the guitar. coincidently, both violin and guitar are essential on that song

with this we conclude the goofy goobers songs that have a reason to be in the playlists i made. yes i know their stories are sad. no i dont regret anything. yes much of those headcanons were made for my own comfort. no i dont give a shit whatchu think🫂

im cold guys its like 7° outside thats too cold

anyways GOOD NEWS i got a job (yippee) so i will finally get money to buy that one compilation visual kei album with watashime slug's kyo x batsu japanese version omfg im- guys. guys its a dream come true

bye guys drink wotah plz dont get dehidrated