#what do mummies do?

[heybiji]

[ohmerricat]

mummy on the orient express really is The episode of doctor who ever. it’s got a perfect anachronistic setting: all the egyptomania of the jazz age, all the glamour of the roaring 20s, but set on a train! in space! and not just any train, but the orient express! where murders are happening in real time! with a countdown! and there’s interpersonal tension! messy drama! lies! more lies! manipulation! double bluffing! killer robot that’s actually a soldier from the past/future! a race against time! a clever resolution where almost everybody lives! the TARDIS doesn’t work until it does, because of course it fucking doesn’t! not one throwaway line of dialogue it’s all banger after banger! jelly babies in a cigarette case! there’s even a postmodern jukebox queen cover. it’s simply everything. put that bitch in a sarcophagus

[blueskittlesart]

ok so. I found the whole master sword decaying and breaking thing ridiculously funny once the cutscene ended and i got over it. bc. i've played sksw. i forged the darn thing. i had to haul the goddess sword through quest after quest (smth about dragon bathwater?) so i could put fi through flame after flame and finally get the master sword. and. and then i broke it. i spent so long putting it together and THEN I WENT AND BROKE IT??? anyway i found it funny kind of. full circle ig.

no you're so right this is hilarious

[izzystizzys]

Ever since touching down on Triple Zero, both a military and quality marker for the planet in his mind, Marshall Commander Fox had become intimately acquainted with the biting pain of headaches and migraines.

This, however, feels like it’s going to make his skull cave inside out.

“I can hear voices, Thorn”, Fox hisses, wide-eyed, breathing harshly through his nose. His bucket sadly lolls around on the pavement from where he ripped it off in a panic, unable to breathe all of a sudden. But even exposure to the open air hasn’t helped much - now, Fox just feels like a fish drowning in water, desperately breathing in the air but unable to keep it in his lungs.

“I mean, we all hear voices, ori’vod, that’s really less concerning than if you couldn’t -“, Thorn begins, hands stretched out towards Fox like he’s trying to approach a rabid beast. “Voices, Thorn!”, Fox repeats, whisper-screaming over the strange sensation of all his blood pooling in his head and ears popping. “In my kriffing head!”

Thorn’s mouth opens to gape, then closes again immediately, countenance turning decidedly more alarmed than before. Fox crumbles to the ground, head clutched in his hands, moaning in painpainpainpain-

The only thing like this he’s felt before is after one of his private meetings with the Chancellor, the one he never lets anyone else have and Fox never remembers. It feels like there’s something else in his head, worming around his thoughts and bouncing off the insides of his skull-

“- is kriffing losing it, Thire, I don’t know what to do -“

“- keep position, help is -“

“- kriffing RED ALERT, what the -“

“- do you mean a karking Venator exploded over Coruscant?!”

“- call it the Zillo Beast - it caved in the side of the ship, apparently, and is making for the surface -“

The pressure inside Fox’s head increases, warmth dripping over his cheeks and from his noise, swelling until he thinks his head really will explode, and then - stops-

Fox looks up, gasping, at the shadow that has fallen across his and Thorn’s patrol, into two massive, glowing eyes. The thing tilts its head, and chirps. It sounds like a greeting.

Silence. Then -

“You’re right”, Fox says, in a daze, “we should kill the Chancellor.”

“WHAT”, Thorn screeches.

———————————

Fox wakes an indeterminate amount of time later to a gentle breeze and nebulous feeling in his head. This is strange for several reasons - one, Guard HQ are both insulated and airconditioned like ass, thus the temperature is always wrong and the air constantly stuffy, and two - he hasn’t woken up not in pain since touching down two years ago.

“Stabby gave you the good shit”, his own voice says, and yeah, that would explain that.

“Stabby is a little bitch”, Fox tries to say, which comes out more like a warbled gurgle. “You’re welcome”, a third voice replies, sarcastically. Fox pries open his eyes with great difficulty. Ah, yes, that’s Stabby looming across the room - and Stone, next to his bedside, lounging in a chair next to a passed-out Thorn, whose head is tilted across the back of his chair at an angle that will definitely put a crick in it.

And, behind them, where the medbay wall used to be, two gigantic, glowing green eyes, tilting along with the rest of the eldritch face floating next to Fox’s bed.

“Hgngndndnsndnfnfffhhh”, he vocalizes, and Stone shrugs. “Yeah, been there the whole time. Do you remember anything?” Fox frowns. Stabby snickers somewhere from his far corner, quietly bustling around and probably concocting something nefarious to make Fox sleep or “take a break”.

Stone’s eyebrows rise incrementally. “Really? Not even when you mounted the space monster, took a joyride through half of Coruscant, crashed through the Senate Dome and battled a lightning-launching Chancellor?”

Fox blinks. The Zillo Beast chirps cheerfully. “Huh.” A sense of strange, deep satisfaction spreads through Fox’s chest, raising goosebumps. “Did we bite his head off? I think we bit his head off.”

Stone chokes, and Stabby races over to thump him on his back, Fox watching warily for any sharp objects. You never know on that one - one second he’s checking your pupils for dilation, then you’ve got a needle sticking out of you and boom, ten hours gone. Or suddenly you’re spitting out decaf - ew - at five kriffing in the morning, being lectured about heart health and some other banthashit.

Something that feels strangely like a chuckle titters across Fox’s mind, and when he looks over, the Zillo Beast is blinking innocently at him.

“Yeah, your little friend did actually bite off the Chancellor’s head” Stone confirms, once he can breathe again. Thorn slowly stirs, until he jackknifes to awareness all at once, and then Fox has a lap full of hugging vod’ika.

“ - took twenty years off my kriffing life, goddamn, ori’vod, you’re giving me grey hair -“

“It’ll match your old man bones”, Stabby murmurs, making Thorn screech indignantly into the top of Fox’s head. The Zillo Beast trills mournfully, aiming a sad look at the medic, who shakes his head and brandishes a hypo at the thing. Fox wonders if he’ll have to intervene - he would try to hypo an eldritch space monster, the absolute lunatic. “Absolutely not - we talked about this, no scritchies until we can be sure it won’t bust more of Fox’s ribs!”

Fox’s mouth opens, and Thorn snickers mercilessly. Stone, far too dignified for it, buries a grin in a datapad. “It’s imprinted on you, Fox’ika”, he says instead, the traitor. “Tried to gte to you in the Jedi temple, but it wouldn’t fit - which is when we brought you here. The interior design was so butt-kriffing ugly it wouldn’t matter much to tear it out.”

“Imprinted?”, Fox asks, not even willing to touch on anything else that’s been said yet. An image flashes across the inside of his skull - him, tossing a space-tennis-ball into the air, and the Zillo Beast slithering off after it. In reality, it perks up and mrows hopefully at Fox God, he wishes he was still insensate. Thorn snickers again, and the desire increases tenfold.

“Yeah, like in that one holoshow, whatchacallit - with that one blonde chick, the Mother of Krayts - you know, the one that made Hound cry when they killed the loth wolves so we had to ban it in barracks?” Thorn’s eyes light up. “Wait, does that make you the mother of Zillos?!”

“Oooh, mummy Fox!”, Stabby screeches, the absolute traitor. Stone breaks out into barking laughter, and Thorn sounds like he’s actively asphyxiating. Fox hates them. Fox turns to the Zillo Beast.

“Please, please eat them.”

[the-maddened-hatter]

OOC this, OOC that, have you ever considered "To be loved is to be changed"???

[godihatethiswebsite]

Desert Oasis

✽ Johnny "Soap" Mactavish x f!reader (The Mummy AU)

Main Masterlist ✽ Ao3

°•. ✿ .•°.•° ✿ °•.°•. ✿ .•°.•° ✿ °•.°•. ✿ .•°

✽ Part 1 - Learning about your cousin and his past

Maybe Kyle actually used to serve with John until one mission pushed him a bit too far past his moral compass and he ended up leaving his military career behind, travelling down to see his last remaining relative - you.

You two had been thick as thieves growing up, family always visiting on holidays as his much more persuasive self - quite a charmer even for a seven year old - was fond of conning you into mischief you had no business being a part of. Now when he's not pestering you he frequents bars to help shake off the PTSD and find people with some coin to do odds and ends jobs for.

Catching up with Kyle usually always included a stroll down memory lane reminiscing about his old war stories. His troublemaking tendencies didn't change as he got older. He was just better about talking his way out of getting disciplined for it. But you'd heard plenty of tales about what he got up to with the notorious Sergeant Mactavish back in the day. More than enough to suggest the man was a scoundrel despite the praise your cousin laid on thick regarding his ability to always have your back in a skirmish.

So when an anonymous tip leads you to a man who can supposedly get you to the fabled city of Hamunaptra and they pull John out of his jail cell, Kyle just gives him a shit eating grin leaning against the bars and says, "Hope you didn't have to bend over for anyone in there."

"Nah. They said mah mouth's prettier than mah arse anyways."

Meanwhile you're standing there watching this conversation with your eyes glued to the man behind the bars with filthy desert tanned skin, bit-too-long stubble, the strangest choice in hairstyle, and cerulean blue eyes sparkling with the promise of mischief thinking 'dear lord what am I getting myself into?'

°•. ✿ .•°.•° ✿ °•.°•. ✿ .•°.•° ✿ °•.°•. ✿ .•°

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[Edited 5/8/24: changed formatting, title, tags, and numbering system]

[homoesia]

[glasscitadel]

Lyos ✦ The Vatian Architect

Finally, a more accurate piece of my main villain <3

[yourfavoritehouseplant]

I've been watching a friend play 999 and quickly became obsessed with how often characters bring up that stupid fucking Ice Mummy on the Titanic.

[highduchessofnightcourt]

Feyre's Under the Mountain getup

[gay-meowmeow]

Phaya and Tharn: *Talking about having a child*

Me:

[heybiji]

dande's dying btw

[loopyarts]

A little fanart sketch spread based on some of the scenes mainly chapter 2 of the one piece fanfic The inner mechanisms of the heart by Blizzard96.

I really like the concept of this fic and I’m really excited to see where it goes from here. I look forward to the somewhat comedic bits of little Sanji thinking his older brother Ichiji has kinda lost the plot or something.

[thatsbelievable]

[downsteepy]

in god we trust

[canary-song]

This started off quite simple, and it started out with wanting a non-evil portrayel of the Spider God. It quickly became far too long for me to put fully succinctly.

But it goes something like this:

You are a God of stories. Perhaps you weave them, perhaps you have taken them from others, perhaps you simply annotate in the margins of pre-existent ones. What matters most is that this is how you live - telling tales.

You yourself are a story, in this sense, one believed and beloved. It is through being cherished that you preside over humanity, and through this you grow close to its storytellers. Humanity, and its writers, are your anchor. The more compelling a story, the more your chance of survival.

And then, like any aged tale, you are forgotten. You struggle to remain in the consciousness of the dwindling number that aknowledge you. You exist soley, desperately, in the artifacts they once gifted you. Others come and leave. Others from further prey on the needy, the hungry. Your likeness is sold to the nearest collector for a family's dinner. You can't fault them.

This happens in a cycle, and with every hand you pass between, more of you is lost - names go easy, and easier still, oral tradition. Then its location, context, years lost to the murk of black market archeological sales.

You land in the hands of Norman Osborn's people. You are starving, tired, barely corporeal in the land of the people you once loved. You are an ocean from your inception, in both distance, years, and memory.

And they have the gall to drop you.

With what little you have left, but yet sheer scraps, you manifest and strike out in vengeance. This is not to help you, nor is it strategic - you're furious, betrayed by the slow bleed-out death of culture and the long dream of imperialism. You sink your teeth in. You make quick work of the pawns of one in a long line of fools.

This will not save you.

But in this process, by the whims of this narrative even you are bound to, you chance upon someone else. What is special isn't necessarily who he is, so much as it is what surrounds him. He's motivated, so much that its eating him alive, towards goals you recognize are completely impossible. His idealism will kill him.

But first he will live. And he will live longer than perhaps he would expect - because this story is stubborn, as are you.

It might just be what you need.

And after all, what's more compelling this era than a tragedy?