#what do i even csll this au? the eggening??

[brandwhorestarscream]

About blitzbee eggs:

I'm imagining other similar scenarios with others because of how hilarious this is

Megatron calling Optimus to their "secret location" and proudly showing a blue-gray egg (nemesis)

Prowl receiving a surprise visit from lockdown, who gives him three eggs in a basket (barricade, smokescreen, bluestreak) because "this mission is more dangerous and it's about time anyway"

Even that old platonic tfa starjack au

LMFAO-

Optimus is so very confused. He's never seen an egg before: he doesn't know that cybertronians can reproduce sexually. Yaaay, censorship and population control! Megatron is proudly introducing the heir to his throne and Optimus is shell shocked, trying and failing to wrap his head around the idea that he helped create life. He didn't know such a thing was possible! He's shaking as he shuffles toward it, optics wider thsn they've ever been as he delicately places his palms against the shell. It's warm, so very warm, and there's a soft pulsing he can feel in his fingertips. The egg has the faintest hint of an EM field, but when he touches it the field shifts from sleepy-unaware-content to who's this-familiar-comforted. He's so overcome with emotion he doesn't even realize tears are welling up until his face suddenly feels wet.

As for Prowl and Lockdown... well. Prowl came from before the war. He knows of sparklings and eggs but has never actually seen them before. Lockdown just arrives in the middle of the night with a basket full of eggs like a psychotic easter bunny dodging his parental responsibilities and drops off the three of them with hardly any explanation. The basket and eggies are too big for Prowl to hold at once, so they just get placed at his feet and Lockdown says he'll be back later. Be a good sire and keep them warm while he's at work.

Prowl barely manages to stutter out a strangled, "Wait-!" before Lockdown is outta there and he's left alone with his unhatched triplets. You cannot convince that Prowl doesn't kinda freeze up in face of his newfound impending fatherhood and fall back on earth documentaries for what to do. He starts mimicking birds by throwing together a carefully balanced nest-cradle thing in his tree and gently places all three inside before trying to use his body heat to keep them warm. While also desperately trying to hide their existence from the rest of the team

Bonus points if these storyline are all happening concurrently 🤭