#what are you? the fun police? acab.

[sonknuxadow]

hoping tom and wade quit the police force after learning about project shadow

yeahhh me too. im honestly kinda worried about how theyll handle the stuff with cops in the third movie if it does turn out to have a similar plot to sa2 since sa2 probably has the most anti military and anti cop story of the whole series. the movies already have the anti military part down but also one of the main protagonists whos a really important person in sonics life and is supposed to be a good guy is a cop. so hopefully you can understand why im a bit concerned about how certain themes in sa2s story will be handled. again assuming that sa2 is even going to be the main inspiration for the next movie we still dont know for sure

in the first movie toms arc was realizing he doesnt need to be a big city cop to help people so im hoping they will complete that with him realizing he doesnt wanna be a cop at all after seeing how awful they really are and not wanting to be a part of that

[urdreamgirls-dreamgirl]

have any fic recommendations?

yesssssssss.

I just read Intricate Rituals by zade (AO3)/@racetrackthehiggins because it was recently rec'd to me (E, Complete, 11/11). I asked the people for something very sad but with a happy ending and the people delivered. I ate this up and read it basically in a single sitting if you don't include the time I took to go do my job for two hours lol. This hit every single spot in terms of very heartbreaking relationship dynamic that I was looking for. I love earnest but confused Steve who's just in love but scared to tell it until he literally can't keep it in anymore and a scared Eddie who lashes out and hurts Steve when he's honest and then deeply regrets it. That's what I care abt... morning, noon, and night, I care about her. She is who I want, that is where my loyalties lie. Definitely mind the tags on this one though!

I love love love Trouble Looks Good on You by indelicate (AO3)/@steddielations. (E, WIP, 2/4) I love the dynamic between Eddie and Steve here and I absolutely adore the way they flirt here. 10/10 flirting !! Also, if you love this then definitely check out Melt Me on Your Tongue (E, Complete, 1/1). Steve taking care of Eddie and both of them loving it. Both of these make me go 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

I really love you looking at me, looking at you by emryses (AO3)/@emryses (M, Complete, 10/10). Very much in the same vein as Intricate Rituals, with a heartbreaking FWB-type relationship where Steve is clearly falling in love and Eddie breaks his heart because he's scared. So good.

Anything by Adure (AO3)/@toburnup, but particularly is your light on? (E, WIP, 12/16) which spans years of Eddie and Steve's relationship and is in progress right now (recently updated!). Another heartbreaking slowburn FWB situation for the boys (are we sensing a theme here yet??). Lots of internalized homophobia/self-policing in this one, so mind that, but so worth the read and so insanely well-written, it makes me jealous to read it. I also really particularly love throw me one (E, Complete, 5/5)!

Looks like we're in for nasty weather (E, Complete, 10/10) by prufrocks (AO3)/@geddyqueer is so so so so so so so so so s ooo cute. So cute!!!! Modern!AU where Steve is training to be a park ranger, Eddie can talk to ghosts, Robin hosts a monster podcast, and there's something spooky in the woods. :) :) :) :) Very fun and did I mention cute?

The Sad Steddie Scenario by @steddierthings. Steve and Eddie suffer a misunderstanding and Eddie is... harsh. I am (very very very) patiently! waiting for more more more of this. I love this. It's so good.

wonderin' where i am, lost without you by @outpastthebrakers was rec'd to me when I asked for something sad but with a happy ending. Definitely hit the spot! Eddie forgets Steve's birthday and has to deal with the consequences. Very sad and then very sweet <3

I loooooooove reputation by theamazingbard (AO3)/@theamazingbard (E, Complete, 2/2). Steve learns that Eddie is perhaps even more promiscuous than himself and doesn't know what to do with that information. I love me some idiots-to-lovers. That is my all-time favorite trope. They can have each other but they're just so stupid. It's very fun.

Please read off the beaten path by pukner (AO3)/@pukner (E, Complete, 6/6). You have to. I don't make the rules, I just enforce them (acab tho). Steve is aware of and secure with his sexuality and recognizes that Eddie is flagging. However!!!!!! Eddie is flagging accidentally. He is not aware of his sexuality!!! And then he is scared and accidentally hurts Steve. Which, as we've established, is my favorite dynamic. And I love the fandom reversal of "Steve is aware, it's Eddie who isn't!!!!!" Sooo good, soooo cute. Steve is just so adorable in this and I love him and cherish him deeply.

I asked for sad fic recs last week and was rec'd Stevie's Time Loop by stevesbipanic (AO3)/@stevesbipanic (M, Complete, 2/2), which I have not had the chance to read yet, but I am confident I'll really enjoy it!!!!

I was also rec'd The Man That I Could Be by ohstars (AO3) (ohstars autocorrected to oysters, stop it I am SCREAMING lol)/@oh-stars (E, Complete, 26/26), which I'm currently reading right now and really enjoying. I'm on chapter 5!!! We could read it together. Book club.

Also, you should read sorry about the blood in your mouth (I wish it was mine) 🙃

[bardly-working]

this is what happens when you teach young adults with authoritarian attitudes and violent tendencies that everyone is a threat and if you don’t shoot first you’ll die.

this is what happens when your police force is built from the rubble of slave catchers organizations and founded in systemic racism that actively dehumanizes people of color and treats them as innate threats.

this is what happens when we valorize the police and

From the article:

In November 2023, a police officer in Okaloosa County, Florida got in a heated shootout with an acorn, endangering the life of a detained man who was handcuffed in the car. In a video that has gone viral on social media this week both for its absurdity and terrifying implications, Deputy Jesse Hernandez hears an acorn drop onto his car. In response, he dramatically rolls on the ground while repeatedly shouting “shots fired!” and unloading his sidearm into the vehicle, shattering its back window. At the time, a handcuffed man named Marquis Jackson was inside the vehicle. Jackson is a Black Florida resident who had been detained by Hernandez and his partner, Sergeant Beth Roberts, after being accused of stealing a car and sending threatening messages to his girlfriend. One of the messages included what police said was an image of a pistol silencer. After rolling on the ground, Hernandez shouted “I’m hit!”—he had not been hit—and told Roberts that shots were coming from inside the car. Roberts also unloaded her firearm at the vehicle as Jackson lay in the backseat. The incident is a stunning example of police incompetence and law enforcement’s willingness to use deadly force against the public. Lest it simply become fodder for social media jokes, it’s worth looking at how the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office handled the issue and the effect it had on Jackson, who said he was severely psychologically impacted and “damaged for life.”

[journalsouppe]

Professor Layton and the Spectre’s Call!! I actually discovered ordering the game from the UK with shipping was actually cheaper than ordering the American version of the game, there were no major differences that I could tell as they still had the original English voice actors.

I enjoyed this game!! Not my top favorite installment but I still had a great time and loved the new characters. The puzzles were well designed and had nice scaled difficulty and the mini games were really neat too. The Eternal Diva references were so blatant lmfao but I’m excited for Miracle Mask! I was also super exhausted when writing the summary so sorry there’s so many errors and I use the word fun a million times ToT

The Descole and Tea sticker are from JordyDrawsMerch! All other stickers are from Daiso. Writing typed below!

Rating: 8.3

Played: Sp 2024

Port: DS on 3DS

Favorite? Y

Replayable? Y

Recommend? Y

Series: Professor Layton

Comments

Emmy and BABY LUKE!!

OH THANK GOD IT’S CHRISTOPHER ROBIN MILLER

Ngl im so excited to watch the anime, I love the animation sm

Oh Layton is not taking Claire’s death well at all

I love how animated the background now is!!

Beautiful music as always

Does Clark have the same VA as Dmitri lol

THE WORLD WILL END? Damn Luke

The specter looks like one of those little kingdom hearts guys

Luke’s been a LaytonMobile hater since day one lmao

Luke is especially funny in this game

Layton taking Luke to the black market is so wild

THE PUPPET PLAY IS ADORABLE

I’m going to fight aunt taffy

Ooo we get to play as Emmy

Holy shit Emmy

GIRL FROG

Emmy asking if Layton always pokes lamps he sees is making me think he physically touches everything the player taps

The convo with the meowing man???

CHELMEY AND BARTON

Based anti-cop npc

THE DYNAMITE WORKS LMAO

Is Hershel gonna get a cask of amantillado’d T^T

The canals are so pretty i like the design of misthallery

Oh i do not like the police chief

I LOVE YOU EMMYYY

Grosky is very funny

Omg the cliff death police cover up reminds me of killer frequency which i just watched a playthrough of

FUCK JAKES

Where’s phoenix when you need him

JAIL BREAK JAIL BREAK!!!

I love descole’s voice

YAAA LADDER VS STEP LADDER

NESSIE???

The story book stories and animations are so CUTE!!

I wonder if Naiya was added to the game to hit at the Eternal Diva

This kinda reminds me of a pokemon movie but I don’t remember which one it was

^^ it was pokemon heroes when latias and latios were caught ^^;

AN OCARINA!!!

Creepy fucking factory music ToT

Oh dear. I seem to have stepped on a hexagonal spanner

Descole always serving massive cunt

Woah the golden garden is beautiful

Ohh so that’s why Luke was fork life certified in plvspw

ZAMN T^T

THE WAY THE SPRITES WALK KILLS ME LOL

I really like these little episodes from others POVS! ^_^

Summary

This was such a fun origin story for Luke and Layton. Very much a classic Layton game with world ending machinery and gorgeous environment design. I really liked both Emmy and Descole, there’s a more serious undertone than with Don Paolo as the main villain (even though I do love Don Paolo). Emmy is amazing!! I was afraid she would be sidelined like Flora was but I’m glad to she stands her ground and does what she wants to do. I alos like how we got to go on our own adventure as her to London, she’s a character that doesn’t need to rely on Hershel to solve everything. Meeting Luke was great, loved his blank stare. It was fun seeing his origins and how Clark and Hershel knew each other. I’m curious how the prequels will play into the New World of Steam, especially now that Luke’s family have stories and sprites (unlike in the original trilogy). Loved the ACAB story, v nice to play while I’m still so mad at what’s happening to university students currently. Descole was so fun, I am obsessed with his outfit and personality. Unfortunately I was spoiled on who he is but I’m very excited to learn more. I think similar to Ace Attorney, the fourth installment is that last game in the classic 2D style, which is sad but PLvsPW makes me very hopeful about 3D Layton. The overall story was fun, I really liked the sub plot about the Ravens - that was really fun (i was so tired writing this omfg). I wish we got a little more backstory on the rich guy who died, I feel like there’s more to the story. OO I loved the little episodes, especially the one about Chelmey. They added a lot of fun context and gave more life to the NPCs. Such a fun and classic Layton game, I can’t wait to play Miracle Mask! (And read the light novels). This wasn’t my favorite Layton game but I still really loved it and had a great time and loved the puzzles — that’s all I want from PL!

[wordslikesilver]

A positive experience I really wanna share with y’all about being trans that I think is so so important to think about. So I’m white, very much from a well off background, all that, also trans so I have experienced plenty of frequent bigotry in my life. I’m doing my damnedest to be aware of and understand the concept of intersectionality and how different layers of identity add different types of privilege or burdens in our society. But you know what else life has taught me so much about as a trans woman? Community.

I’m wrapping up a treatment I’ve just given to an elderly black woman. She looks terribly disparaged at her phone. Ask her what’s up, she tells me oh it’s just there’s so many bigots online. I sit and with a long sigh and small smile I tell her, “yeah. Yeah I know. All too well.” She looks back at me and takes a moment to think then smiles and says “yeah, I suppose you would know.” I feel seen like never before by another person.

I’m at my darling wife’s new year’s celebration at her relatives’ place. We’re playing scattergories. She’s mixed race, lots of black relatives, someone brings up police in passing about something and me and one of her cousins at the same time roll our eyes and both say ACAB and go wide eyed looking at each other, smiling and laughing together about it. It’s a moment of like omg hell yes you totally get me, we know that same anger!

In a women’s space having some girl talk. We talk about makeup and clothes and love. Beauty standards, our bodies, anger, men, love. Cis women asking me tips on eyeliner. Sharing my knowledge and experiences growing as a man and living as a woman. Laughing together about how good it feels being a lesbian, how freeing it feels, how hard it can be. I don’t have periods, but neither does the woman who’s gone through menopause. I’m laughing with them about hot flashes and how miserable they can be. We talk about traveling on the subway, being catcalled, being harassed feeling unsafe. We’ve all been there. They too, are sisters to me.

I’m at a kink party. I’ve brought a bible for some funny impact play. I’m an ex catholic and I love me some heresy in the name of the lord. Emulating the disciplining of another queer person in attempt to cleanse them of sin, deriving pleasure from the ironic madness of the situation. An ex Muslim guy brings out his Quran and angrily reads passages about finding salvation in Allah at the sub we’re having fun with, joining in on the religious heresy. Later in the night, we talk about our experiences and relationships with our religious backgrounds, he’s telling me if he ever went home he’d be killed for his bisexuality. He scorns the radical Muslim faith as strongly as I loathe the radical Christian faiths of the US. We see eye to eye with each other, how of course it’s not all bad, but that doesn’t erase the bad either. I understand in that moment what feelings I didn’t recognize we both have felt caused by our own ways of life we were raised in. The similarities in spite of the world of differences.

I know, I’m just a white girl with a lot to learn in her life about philosophy and privilege and power and a million other little things that separate my experiences from those who’ve lived very, very different lives to me. I will never understand the experience of transmisogynoir and being a trans woman of colour. But that doesn’t mean I can’t empathize with aspects of it. That I cannot build community with them just the same as the people just like me. As I live and learn, I slowly become more aware of the experiences of black peoples, black women, black trans women. I become a more emotionally intelligent person, stumbling into moments like where I, a white trans woman and another, a black cis man, both recognize each other as fellows who’ve known the same pain even if for different reasons. It’s genuinely a favourite experience of mine. The community, the symmetry, the unexpected feelings of “Oh. I didn’t realize we’ve both felt that before. The world feels less lonely than ever, suddenly.” Communities are distinct from each other for experiences unique to them, of course! It’s so beautiful, the rainbow of differences between us all. It is also beautiful, discovering the natural bridges that connecting each other, bringing us together in unity, making us feel so much less isolated in this technicolor world. It’s truly a thing of beauty to me.

From the bottom of my heart, I’d love and appreciate it if folks would reblog/reply with similar experiences they’ve had to this, I think more than ever it is important for us to recognize how close we truly are with the wide and wonderful spectrum of other people around us, nurturing the unity that makes us all shine brighter and stand taller together. Moments where despite how different you were from another person, you could bond with them over experiences you had both lived through and could understand the feelings of. Moments where you found community where you never expected it <3

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - sixty-three | ACAB

It was like your stalker knew - somehow - that San and Seonghwa would be gone for the week. You didn’t know if he actually did, or if you had just gotten so paranoid that you just convinced yourself that he did, but he came in every day that week.

Every. Fucking. Day.

Seven days of him trying to talk to you, trying to ask you about yourself, trying to figure out what your schedule was for the next week. You were pretty sure that there was even at least one obfuscated attempt at trying to ask you out. You cranked up the blender at that moment and pretended that you couldn’t hear what he was asking, but unlike the other times you had done similar, he seemed to be annoyed by it. Maybe it was because there were no men near you - someone who could protect you from him, someone he actually thought of as a human and respected, someone he could possibly fear - but he seemed much more brazen in the week without your boss and coworker.

The meeting finally had a break and San and Seonghwa both excused themselves to the bathroom. San washed his hands as Seonghwa came out of the stall to wash his.

“Did the police really say they couldn’t do anything?” Seonghwa sighed. “Unfortunately, yes. They said he hasn’t become violent--

“Yet.”

He nodded. “They also said he could press charges if I kick him out and don’t have just cause.” San shook his head angrily and grabbed some paper towels to dry his hands. He looked at Seonghwa as he did so.

“What?”

He shook his head. “What can we do if the cops won’t do anything?”

“Well,” Seonghwa got some paper towels and dried his hands, “I’m going to keep compiling the CCTV evidence. I think if I have enough at some point, they’ll have to take it seriously.”

“And if they don’t?”

“I don’t know yet. This is completely unreasonable.”

They stood in silence for a few moments as both thought.

“What about your lawyer?” Seonghwa asked.

“My-- I haven’t talked to her in a while. Not since the last payment from the emancipation came through.”

Seonghwa nodded. “Do you still have her number?”

“I do.” “I think you should call her. We might need some advice at the very least.”

San nodded. “She’s not a criminal lawyer… but she might know some. I'll see if she can help.” Seonghwa nodded. “Other than that… if what the cops say is true then it’s almost like…” He pulled his hands down his face with a sigh. “It’s almost like we need to wait for him to escalate.”

“Hyung--”

“I know.”

“What if he hurts her?”

“I know.” Seonghwa paused for a few seconds. “We need to think of something else, first. Before it gets to that.” Seonghwa put his hand on San’s arm reassuringly. “I know you don’t want her to get hurt, I don’t want her to get hurt either.”

San nodded.

Seonghwa nodded and threw out the paper towels he used. San did the same.

“When we’re done with this meeting today, we’ll put our heads together, okay?”

San nodded again. “Yes, hyung.”

“That’s literally just--” Gun shots rang out in your left headphone speaker and you died suddenly. You sighed. “...Yeji.”

“Was that you?”

“Yes, Yeji. It was me.”

“Oh my god I’m so sorry!”

Ryujin laughed. “We might as well just throw in the towel here.”

“I hate shooting games,” you said.

“But you’re so good at them.”

“Are you making fun of me?” You laughed.

She laughed. “No. Yeji!” she called her.

“Yes?” She asked quietly. Her character was moving around erratically, as if she was looking for somewhere to hide.

“What happened?”

You clicked through to Ryuijin’s viewpoint as she alternated hiding and shooting.

“I just saw a head pop up and shot! I’m sorry, y/n.”

You clicked back to Yeji.

“Don’t worry about it,” you sighed. “On your left.”

She spun ninety degrees and shot.

“Your conviction is good, Yeji.”

“It is?” 

“It’s your aim we need to worry about,” Ryujin added.

“Yeah.” You said.

You couldn’t play until your team either won or lost, so you looked through the chat while you waited.

Yoon.Kee.Ho: Hey Namhae! Yoon.Kee.Ho: Nice to see you back! 🗻of Namhae✅: Why aren’t you streaming, Keeho? Yoon.Kee.Ho: I’m at dance practice 🗻of Namhae✅: Ahh. Fighting! Yoon.Kee.Ho: Lol thanks

Namhae was back?

🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Hey, Namhae 🗻of Namhae✅: Oh, hi! 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Are you coming back? You didn’t say anything 🗻of Namhae✅: Oh, I’m just checking in for a second. I’m still dealing with family shit 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Ah 🗻of Namhae✅: Hopefully it’ll be done soon though 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: I hope it all turns out well 🗻of Namhae✅: Me too 🗻of Namhae✅: Yeji got you good, huh? 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: I mean… you “get” me you *kill* me 🤷‍♀️ 🗻of Namhae✅: LOL 🗻of Namhae✅: Wait… sorry boss 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Not a fireable offense JohnnyYuta: Are we in the way of something 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Workplace training 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: Lol 🗻of Namhae✅: She killed you really early on, huh? 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: YES A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: Shade 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: No shade 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: But now I’m sitting here and I can’t do anything 🖤����JGG🖤🖤: And I have to wait until they die or they kill the other team for the game to end… 🖤🖤JGG🖤🖤: I’m bored :(

Unfortunately, Yeji killed you a few more times that stream. She was only replacing Keeho since he had dance practice he had forgotten about, and he was replacing San anyway because he was on his trip: A double replacement, no less. And of course, it had to happen when you were supposed to have an - admittedly friendly but still way too competitive - charity “March Madness”-style bracket series of matches with a few other popular streamers. 

Somehow the JGG/Keeho (and Ryujin) team placed third, despite Yeji’s constantly mistaking you for the enemy. She apologized afterwards and bought some subscriptions as an apology. You, knowing you made much more than her, bought them back from Ryujin’s stream; you didn’t feel it was fair of her to give you her money when the only crime she was guilty of was being a bit goofy.

You laid in bed after streaming and scrolled through youtube trying to figure out what you should watch to fall asleep. Should you watch a compilation of people restocking food and cleaning items in their house? Maybe a compilation of Get Ready With Me’s, where a disembodied hand with very nice nails packed all their Sanrio items into a Sanrio bag? Or maybe you could watch [your favorite youtuber] Out of Context for 6:78 minutes? Maybe instead of soothing, you should giggle yourself to sleep to get rid of the stress that had been mounting all week. You pressed the heels of your hands into your eyes for a moment and sighed as you thought. This whole stalker thing had you tired and wired at the same time, like you were waiting for something bad to happen but didn’t know when it would happen, and actually falling asleep meant nightmares in your state. You didn’t want those, you just wanted the rest. Maybe you should watch the Out of Context compilation.

Your phone lit up.

“Why’d you call?” You rolled over in bed and propped up the phone against the pillow so you didn’t have to hold onto it.

“You can’t keep talking like that.”

“Like--”

“I know that like… the cops don’t take you seriously… but you need to get out of that black hole.”

You thought to yourself for a few moments, and sniffed as you felt tears come on.

“Hey.” He said.

You cleared your throat and sniffed hard. “Yeah?”

“We’re going to figure it out, okay?”

“Are we?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t we?”

“... I don’t know.”

“Hey.”

“Mm.”

“We’re going to figure it out.”

“You keep saying that--”

“Because we are. I’m not going to let that bastard do this to you, okay?”

You scoffed softly. “What’s in it for you?”

He was quiet for a moment as he looked away, thinking.

“See? Nothing--”

“I’ll get to see you smile again.”

“What?”

“You’ll be happy again. Isn’t that enough?”

You thought.

“Just because those cops are pieces of shit doesn’t mean we’ve all abandoned you. We just need to think of something else.”

You rolled over onto your back and looked at the ceiling. “There you go with that ‘we’ again…”

“Hey…”

You looked at him.

“I speak for everyone at the café when I say that we all want you to be happy and free from that fucker.”

Your eyebrows raised. “Mr. Choi, I’ve never heard you speak so forcefully before.”

His stern, almost angry expression softened and he brushed his hair back. “Sorry.”

“No, it was very powerful. You’d make a good chaebol heir in a drama.”

He laughed awkwardly.

“Has Yunho ever asked you about auditioning?” You laughed.

“He has and I told him no. Don’t change the subject.”

You snapped your fingers. “Darn. You got me.”

He chuckled. He brushed his hair back again as he thought. “He’s come in every day, you said?”

“Yeah.”

He pursed his lips. “I’m going to do something tomorrow, so please don’t get mad.”

“What is it? And what are you doing? You’re all the way over there.” 

Was he coming back? You really wanted him to come back. You were a strong, independent streamer who didn’t need no man. But you wanted him to at least stand next to you so the stalker would fuck off.

“Are you coming back?” You asked, smiling.

“I can’t, we have a bunch of appointments with vendors tomorrow.”

“Oh.” Your smile dropped.

He looked into the screen and smiled. “Why? You miss me that bad?”

“I mean… you don’t shoot me like Yeji does when we play PUBG.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“What?”

He tilted his head, processing what you said. “Oh-- sorry. I meant: I’m sure it wasn't that bad.”

You sighed. “She killed me right at the beginning of a round. Twice.” San paused. “...Did you win?”

“We placed third.”

“That’s not too terrible.”

“We were first last year.”

“Ah.”

You sighed, hands folded across your stomach as you looked at the ceiling, only mildly despondent.

He laughed. “I’ll be back soon enough.”

You waved him away. “She’ll have killed again me by then.”

He laughed. “Well, I can’t be there for the game, but I can help with the stalker a little bit.”

You rolled over. “How?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“Because it has to be a surprise.”

“Why does it have to be a surprise?”

“Because you have to react like it is.”

You went to respond, but he smiled at you, eyes in upturned crescents and dimples on full display like the cat that ate the cream (if that cat had dimples).

You scoffed. “I could just pretend!”

“No, no, no.”

“What ‘no, no, no’?”

“If you know what it is, you won’t react the right way.”

You laughed. “It’s not bad is it?”

“Of course it’s not bad. Why would it be bad?”

“I don't know, I’m nervous,” you laughed.

“It’s fine. It’s a present, does that help?”

“Maybe…”

“You’ll like it.”

“Ugh.”

“What?”

“I don’t hate surprises, but with the stalker involved I hate everything.”

“You’ll like it.” You sighed. “Okay… what are you doing right now?”

“Eating dinner.”

“This late?”

“The people we met wanted to drink after and it was a whole thing.”

“You don’t seem drunk.”

He smiled. “I didn’t really feel like drinking.”

You nodded. You wondered if it was because of everything happening, but you didn’t want to ask.

“Want to see my food? It might make you feel better.”

You laughed. “Sure.”

You chuckled.

He smiled and put it down again.

“Now I want fries.”

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Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🧋

@rachs-words • @stayatinykatsy •

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

Ask game for Chase?

The pupper ever!! Also two other people asked for Chase while I was already working on it XD I'm sorry it's taking me literally days to get them all done, I'm having trouble to think properly on what to say for some stuff in these

My first impression - I'm not tanking this. His car is blue and white, he's a cop and HIS NAME IS CHASE. HMMMM WHERE HAVE I SEEN THIS BEFORE, OH I WONDER--

My impression now - He's precious. No, really. A+ for effort in everything he does but he should learn to relax a little more, just a liiiiiiiittle more

Favorite thing about that character - He's always willing to try new things out of his comfort zone and he always gives it his best, plus his loyalty levels are off the charts

Least favorite thing - He's too much of a people pleaser Istg-- Chase, sweetheart, you're supposed to be a figure of authority XD And this will sound like a dumb thing to dislike but I dislike the fact he's a German Shepherd. I think it's too obvious a breed for police dogs and he doesn't LOOK like one at all for me. When I first saw him without his gear, I was like "Wait is he a Belgian Malinois??? Omg please yes that would be cool to not have a German Shepherd as a Police Dog for ONCE" but yeah my dreams were crushed quickly on my first Google Search on him

Favorite line/scene - It's not specifically the line, but mostly the scene: Have you EVER seen Chase refuse a job or go against Ryder???

I know he ended up changing his mind after that talk with Ryder, but IN THIS MOMENT, he stood his ground and said NO. It's even in his body language: His ears are slightly back, his expression is serious like "don't even try arguing with me on this", his tail isn't relaxed, his paw stomping on the floor to make his point. Notice his frown even deepens as the elevator door closes just before it goes down. This is SO IMPORTANT to me you have no idea, especially considering how much of a people pleaser Chase is and how he holds Ryder as the most important person in his life. We know Chase would do anything for Ryder. But at this exact moment? He was decided to NOT do something for Ryder. This is such a powerful, yet overlooked and underrated scene, as well as character development. It encapsulates perfectly how there's so much more to Chase than any of us knew so far.

Favorite interaction that character has with another - Mighty Movie Skase moment #2 (I think? I counted at least 4 big moments) when Chase goes to check on Skye when she was sulking on the back of the Aircraft Carrier. Her problems there are totally out of his league, he literally cannot relate to anything she's currently going or went through in the past- still he tries to show support the only way he can at the moment, by being there for her, by listening to her. He's a keeper, Skye, go for it XD

A character that I wish that character would interact with more - Marshall and Zuma. They used to play a lot before, but now...? I'm still at the 8th season and I'm seriously missing those fun and slice of life moments

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character - Leonardo, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, specifically 2012 series

A headcanon about that character - I think Chase was one of those kind of puppies who just didn't know when to fucking STOP. 24/7 playful baby. Also a natural explorer, always sniffing everything, licking everything, maybe biting, touching, scratching, growling, barking at anything new for a while. Ever curious, always being the puppy to go ahead of the others, "exploring the waters to open the way and make sure it's safe for the others to come after him". On a second note, I've seen one too many people returning adopted puppies for this reason here where I live, because "they're a handful and I wasn't expecting this" 🤦🏽‍♀️

A song that reminds of that character - "Nothing Can Stop Me Now"

An unpopular opinion about that character - Idk why all the hate, even if you're ACAB, it's not like Chase even does a cop job at all XD Have you seen him arresting someone outside from movie verse? If anything, you'd WANT your cops to be like him LMAO

Favorite picture - Y'know how in the first movie Chase was in absolute awe when he saw his new car for the very first time? YEAH, like, he KNOWS Ryder designs and gets them crazy cool stuff, and it doesn't stop him from getting UTTERLY AMAZED every time. Tbh I had the same reaction as them all when I saw that sick af Mustang-looking police cruiser like HOLY SHIT YOU GET THE COOLEST TOYS-- AND YOU GET TO CATAPULT THEM DOWN THE HOT WHEELS RAMP AT TOP SPEED TOO??? Win for life.

[sappy-detective]

you guys already know i love a good ‘ouma is actually a good person in a “bad” way’ trope.. ESPECIALLY phantoms thief/D.IC.E. leader AU.

to me ouma/DICE only steal from bad rich ass people and give back to the poor. they’re the people magically filling pot holes and fixing whatever the neighbors needs with the money they get, along with giving out good on holidays for people who don’t have enough money to buy it.

they’re notorious for stealing crazy expensive things and either selling them or leaving them to a random pawn shop for shits and giggles.

they steal bigger things too, like shit from art museums and galleries. just to show their cards and what they can do. they steal them for hella cheep on ebay or something for like $20. ORRr they mail them back to the police with some stupid taunting message.

it also leads into them exposing corrupt officers, detectives, judge, and business owners alike. they get into police chases for fun and wait for the police to come get them. they all LOVE getting into a game of cat and mouse with them and embarrassing the police. (or a specific detective..!)

“Finaly you’re here! i was waiting all day!! now we can start having some real fun!”

they’re heavy on the ACAB thing, they’re punk as hell. and when i tell you the public loves them, they LOVE them. they’re rarely seen and if they are people just look the other way.

[scar-can-relate]

It's Ace Attorney Investigations posting time!

After the last game (AAI 1) I was pretty done with they way the edgy pretty boy keeps parading his wealth around while constantly (joking about???) cutting his minimum wage detective's pay. That guy is LITERALLY not able to feed himself anymore and it is directly caused by this rich asshat. And then pinky has the gall to joke about Gumshoe only thinking about food. Like YEAH because all he can afford are instant noodles?? When I say ACAB I specifically exclude Gumshoe because he is literally just a starving wage worker with no policing power to abuse on his own but a misguided devotion to a man who will never take him seriously. So yeah I was pretty much done.

But alas, the siren call of Ace Attorney Games, soooooo I started AAI2.

Let's go Mr. Prosecutor Pretty Boy! I see that you're trying to thirst trap me.

Few minutes into the game and I--?

MY BOY EDGEWORTH? NOT making FUN of his PET PUNCHING BALL MALEWIVE subordinate??? Actually admitting that feelings are valid?? Listening to Gumshoe??

Yeah, ok, but that's about his own trauma. How about something else?

Is that REGRET I'm seeing here? SELF-REFLECTION???

DID HE JUST ADMIT THAT GUMSHOE ACTUALLY HELPS HIM??? What is going on?

I am going to CRY if that STUPID BOY ACTUALLY BUYS HIS ASSISTANT A SAMURAI DOG!!!

ASGSHDHDZDDCDGDGDGDGDGDVSHDHDVSHSHSHSVSH HAS MY BOY FINALLY BEEN TO THERAPY?

Yeah ok, FINE! THIS is how you thirst trap me, thank you for your service, AAI2.

[earthstellar]

More Thoughts on Prowl in Earthspark

I think it would be fun if Prowl has a little bit of a tough time integrating with the Terran Team, which I talked about previously in another post

Like, if it starts out rough, understandable-- And then the "lesson" for the intended audience (kids) can be something along the lines of learning how to get along with others that may be different from yourself, how to integrate into a different culture by trying to make friends and being open to learning, how to meet people halfway when you might be personally hesitant, etc.

But I have some more thoughts...

Real World Concerns: ACAB Still Applies

Keeping in mind that Prowl's a cop and there are some real world implications of that which are even more highlighted as the Maltos are a non-white family who live in the USA, I can understand the concerns I've seen some people have about bringing a "tough cop" type of character into a show that has heavy emphasis on diversity and reflecting that diversity fairly realistically.

I've been wrongfully detained back when I was a teenager and was taken across a state border then had to sleep in a cell overnight thanks to the NYPD myself as a trans person, which happened only four weeks after my black partner at the time was harassed by a police officer when a cop straight up just walked into my dad's house with no warrant because apparently a black person and a trans person gardening together is "suspicious behaviour".

My dad's house is in Pennsylvania, which is where Earthspark takes place. Me and my loved ones have been harassed by cops that are quite literally the actual cops you'd see in Earthspark, in Witwicky. Same police department/region in Pennsylvania, given their proximity to actual Pennsylvanian locations in the show.

So I know these fears well and I understand-- Nobody has a good experience with the American police. Every interaction is terrifying, and those of us in any minority group are far more likely to have experiences like this having never committed any crime or wrongdoing at all. Seeing any cop, even a fictional one, can trigger some bad memories or prior trauma for a lot of us, and it might be hard for them to work around.

I'm thinking that's part of why they've changed his alt-mode, from what we can tell from the toy photos.

Earthspark Handles Real World Issues Fairly Well: Writing with Sensitivity

At the same time, the themes of the show are fundamentally family, friends, learning, growing, and teamwork, with some emphasis on developing emotional intelligence and social/cultural awareness.

It's important to remember that Prowl is a Cybertronian cop who took a cop car alt-mode back in the G1 days because it was simply what fit his own role best and made for the most effective cover while on Earth-- He may not be working with local human police forces, but if he is, we'll see how the show handles that.

I think it's notable that they've changed up Prowl's alt-mode design here, despite having shown him in his police vehicle alt-mode in the G1 flashback sequence. You don't see "POLICE" written across his doorwings, these days. They're not selling him as a "cop car toy" anymore, which I think most of us can agree is a good thing.

I think Prowl absolutely has a place in Earthspark, and it'll be interesting to see how they utilise his character-- For all we know, it'll be a totally unique take on the character unlike any specific prior iteration of him, which would also be interesting!

But I do think that they know they have to be careful with introducing a cop character. They've handled subjects like xenophobia in Earthspark very tactfully in a way that suits the intended audience of children, and hopefully they continue to use the same tact when interpreting Prowl's character for this same audience, given that he's a cop and there are implications to cop characters in general that are going to lead a lot of people to be a little less forgiving and a little more suspicious of him.

More Conjecture/Thinking Out Loud, Since All We Have is a Photo of a Toy At This Point

That having been said, almost no story can happen without a hero's journey in some shape or form, and it would be interesting to see Prowl have some initial difficulty dealing with the Terrans and humans in general (or something similar that might cause some level of conflict) to be resolved as time goes on.

It would be interesting if the show touches on Prowl being a cop and how American kids realistically react to that.

I was always taught to never speak to a cop and how to do so very carefully if I ever absolutely had to etc. when I was a kid, and I'm sure the Maltos have had that same conversation with their children. It's a safety issue; Unfortunately, most American kids get "the cop talk" pretty early.

Maybe Prowl shows up and Robby immediately grabs Mo to get her behind him and he tells his Terran siblings to "let him do the talking", since he's the oldest one and a little more aware of the risk that police officers can present. Since Mo is usually outgoing, and she might be more quiet here because she would understand the potential risk whenever cops are involved, the Terrans would take the hint and be wary of Prowl.

Or perhaps Prowl is introduced as an "enforcer" by Optimus, and when the kids ask what that means, Optimus translates it as "police officer", which might be what causes Robby and Mo to react a little negatively/suspiciously to Prowl. So it wouldn't be as immediate of a reaction, but once they find out he's a cop, they react appropriately-- With caution.

Which might serve to alienate him a bit, as he wouldn't understand why they were just outgoing and friendly and now they're suddenly not-- From Prowl's point of view, he might not fully understand their reaction.

If he'd been working on trying to investigate the bot fighting rings etc., then he'd be aware of the general public's xenophobia towards Cybertronians and how that can manifest as real violence, and might think the kids were being biased against him. Which might be worsened by the fact that to him, as far as he knows, they evidently don't like enforcers specifically-- Which may even lead him to overthink it, as he is technically designed to do in most continuities, and he might assume their anxiety around him comes from some kind of criminal history on their part.

This could be handled partially comedically, as the audience knows the kids are good and haven't done anything wrong (and this would also introduce Prowl's capabilities as an investigative officer while framing him as a "silly adult bewildered by kids just being kids" for the younger viewers)-- -But it needs to be treated respectfully and with reasonable seriousness as well.

This type of assumed guilt is often what leads to wrongful arrest, miscarriage of justice, and serious abuse from actual police. There is a real world body count for this exact kind of assumption, and these assumptions are often based in racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.

And this is a kid's show, so I don't think they'll go too deep-- But I do think they'll address the "cop in the room" in some kind of way.

There could be some serious misunderstandings that go both ways, as the kids might then interpret any upset from Prowl as being inherently hostile.

It would take work to get them to trust him, and Prowl would need to come to understand why being an enforcer in this context is something that registers as a threat to the Maltos and by proxy the Terrans as well-- Who haven't had good experiences with authority figures either, given the whole GHOST situation.

And given that he might not start out too enthused about the situation altogether (we don't know how he might be coping with being forced to live on Earth), it might be interesting if they take this approach (or a similar one) to introducing Prowl.

Keeping in mind this is a show for kids, and you don't want kids to implicitly trust cops. In America especially, that's just not a safe lesson to teach.

So it would be hard for them to pull something like this off, in a way that both 1) solidifies that cops can't be safely trusted and also 2) Prowl is good not because he's a cop, but because his genuine interests are to protect and serve in his own way, and it's not just some kind of fake creed that he doesn't follow like every other cop.

But like I said, you can't teach kids that cops are good. So it'll be interesting to see how they handle his role as "enforcer".

He might be misguided sometimes, or he might need some fine-tuning, but Prowl shouldn't be directly malicious or intentionally mean to the kids. Maybe he's accidentally rude, or doesn't understand how he comes across to others (especially humans/the Terrans). Maybe he's having a hard time being on Earth, and it shows in his behaviour or demeanour.

But he can learn, and adapt as best he can over time. The show is about learning and growing with each other.

I Don't Think He'll Dislike the Kids Too Much: Teaching Time with Prowl

It'll be interesting to see how Prowl gets along with the kids, but I do think he eventually will, at least to some degree.

I don't think Prowl is a child-hater. I think he might need time to acclimate and socialise a little more effectively and understand a little more. And the kids might need the same, when it comes to Prowl.

I can't see him as being mean to them, not once he realises the Terrans are essentially sparklings and the human kids develop and grow on a totally different scale. We don't know what interactions Prowl might have with humans in general, or how experienced he is with younglings of any kind.

There might be a learning process, or Prowl might even take up helping to tutor the kids a bit-- He could help teach them investigative techniques, or logical problem solving, or how to evaluate complex situations (like calculating battle outcomes and assessing threats in the field-- a safety lesson as much as anything else). Things along those lines.

We've already seen the kids learn from various adults, so why not Prowl too?

I can see him wanting to protect them and do what he can to help them, but he might not be a super-involved parent-type, and that's totally fine.

He would likely make for a strict but effective teacher, using his skills of observation to notice when the kids need some extra assistance or would benefit from a different approach.

He might also struggle to teach at first; Maybe he attempts to treat it like an enforcer academy, which the kids might not respond well to. Bumblebee could provide some input to help Prowl adjust his approach, as he has the most experience with training them so far.

He Might Not Be a Cop at All

Maybe he's not an enforcer at all anymore, in this continuity.

Maybe he's struggling to find an identity for himself after realising the enforcement system on Cybertron was corrupt (as Megatron in Earthspark has given us some hints that the background setup to the war might be similar to IDW 1 in some regards), and after finding Earth's police are no better, he's at a loss for how to make himself useful.

He could possibly be working as a kind of private investigator, carrying out missions assigned to him by Optimus. He doesn't wear the GHOST badge, so it doesn't seem like he's been working with them somewhere this whole time.

Part of any irritation from him might be, essentially, an identity crisis. What does he do now, and how does he do it, with almost no resources and very few Cybertronians left to collaborate with? Does he even want to collaborate with anyone at all, at this point?

He might be more of a solo actor in Earthspark, off doing his own thing. With or without missions assigned from Optimus.

But he does still wear the Autobrand, which is interesting if this is the case.

More Disability Representation: Prowl is Essentially Neurodivergent With a Syncope Disorder

He might not be too good at socialising, but this shouldn't be taken as a sign of being a "mean cop"-- Prowl is canonically neurodivergent in some continuities (owing to his unique tactical/statistical processing, he is also prone to crashes), and any social problems he's depicted with are at least in part a result of his thought processes and perception of things being fundamentally different.

It would be interesting if they brought this aspect of his character back for this iteration of Prowl; Maybe he sees the Terrans for the first time and his processor struggles to understand what's going on and what they are at first, and it might trigger a crash.

Of course, the kids would react like how most kids do; Sort of panicked and worried that it's their fault somehow. Prowl could provide some situations that would be a good opportunity to teach kids a little more about disability and provide further representation for any neurodivergent kids watching the show, which would be great! And a "crash" could be comparable to anything from some types of seizures to syncope disorders to narcolepsy etc.-- Any health condition where fainting or collapse might occur.

We rarely see syncope etc. disorders portrayed in media, let alone kid shows, so it would be great to see in Earthspark as an opportunity for both inclusion for disabled audiences and education on disability for non-disabled audiences.

It would be interesting if a "crash" were portrayed somewhat realistically, no immediate recovery, maybe some dizziness, lingering fuel tank upset, maybe he even sustains some damage from falling over. It might take him a bit to fully reboot. He might regularly need to be a little more careful, to avoid processor loops or logic system issues that could lead to a crash.

Maybe he has a crash at a critical moment, and is out of commission for a battle or situation where he could have been helpful. If the kids are lukewarm towards him at this point, maybe seeing him laid out on a berth still recovering after they return from the fight would encourage them to step up and reassure him that he's not any less capable-- They would understand.

They've likely seen their mother struggle now and then on days where the phantom limb nerve pain is too much for her to go on that hike they had planned, or days where the prosthetic just isn't the vibe so she goes without and gets around the house a little differently on those days, or maybe even days where they see Dot looking at her prosthetic with a little sigh, and that's just how it is. Not every day is a feeling good day, some days the prosthetic just isn't wanted, some days the prosthetic is harder to put on than others. Disability is variable, and how people deal with disability fluctuates.

The kids would be good about understanding that Prowl has "those kind of days" too.

The show's not about Prowl-- There is an ensemble cast and plot/storylines to progress. But it would be a nice little scene if they want to do a one-off bit about this, that could also serve to show that Prowl, as hard-ass as he might come across, does actually have some vulnerabilities.

It could be the thing that encourages the kids to at least try to work with him, if they have any initial hesitancy-- Especially following their experiences with Robbie's illness previously.

If the kids might think Prowl's demeanour is a little off-putting because he's not as outwardly emotive, might be more literal than others, etc., maybe one of the other adult bots could help explain to them that Prowl's processor just works differently, and that he struggles with being social. The kids would likely be understanding of this, and it would be a nice parallel to teaching abled kids how to interact with autistic peers, while also making Prowl relatable to autistic kids watching the show.

(This would also provide a potential opportunity for a medic character to be introduced... I'm just saying. We all want Ratchet to show up, lmao.)

Earthspark is good about disability representation so far, and it would be nice to see that it's not just humans who can be disabled.

----

Anyway, yes, there's a lot of potential for Prowl in Earthspark, but it will have to be handled with tact, which I think the writers have proven themselves to be pretty capable of so far.

So, we'll see! We have no information right now aside from the toy photos, but the hype is real, and it will be interesting to see how they bring Prowl into the show and what, exactly, he'll be doing.

[miumiumandoodz]

Currently rewatching old seasons of Law and Order: SVU and now I understand better why I loved (and still love) the show

Regardless of your personal opinion about Olivia Benson, the show consistently show that ACAB and the police force (and to the extent the ADAs) will use any means necessary to convict someone regardless of whether or not they actually committed the crime or if it’s ethical. Typically crime drama shows portray the law enforcement as the hero and sporting good ideals, and it’s packaged in a “Let’s go solve the crime! We did it gang!” format. But not SVU. All the main characters are assholes. They’re multifaceted humans, sure. But they’re also cops, and ACAB.

Destroying the “perfect victim” myth. Sometimes the victims are the perps, sometimes the victims commit other crimes and are assholes themselves. Regardless, victims are victims.

While inspired from real life cases, they don’t just copy the scheme of the crime alone. They drag the social discourse with it. One episode is never formatted in an identical way. One episode feels like a fictional mini sized true crime documentary and each crime is different. The episodes are not made for you to root for the main characters. The episodes want you to know that this is the realest it can get and always leave you reflect it back to what’s going on irl. Often times, they don’t make you sympathize to the main characters (related to point 1 with ACAB). Often times it makes you sympathize to the family, the victim, the perp, the community, and to everything else but the main characters.

The twist. Sometimes they’re cheesy and drama fueled but it still relevant to whatever discourse the episode is trying to get across. Also, because it tends to be wild, sometimes it’s hard to guess and guessing it midwatching can be fun.

ADA Casey Novak. I realized I never loved her because she’s a “good guy” who puts people behind bars. I realized I’ve always loved her for how insufferable she can be to get a conviction. If anything, she’s in the lawful neutral - lawful evil territory and why she’s such a formidable enemy to the actual “bad guy” (perps like serial killer/rapists, etc.) is due to her lawful evil tendencies. This woman just needs to win. You don’t get a 71% conviction rate without playing in the dirt along the way. But she does put the more dangerous criminal behind bars for good because of this. She’s the perfect embodiment of “I support women’s rights and women’s wrongs”. And she’s a gorgeous oneesan 😍. People are more drawn to Olivia for her tremendous emotional depth and sympathy for everyone which is so valid. She's a great female main character. But I love me a shady-ass woman who uphold "rules" just because. She’s my favorite character in the series. I love Alex Cabot too for similar reasons, but Novak is out there, she’s out for blood. No one in the defense chair is safe, not even the sympathetic victim turned perp. I probably don’t wanna be friends with people like her irl in a way that maybe you don’t wanna be killed by a 9ft vampire lady with retractable claws irl, but as an idea, yeah, sure. Step on me, prosecutor.

[penguinbuttcheeks]

Call of Duty Masterlist

started: 29/04/2024

last updated: 12/05/2024 (GMT+10)

A/N: minors please DNI with any 18+ (smut) fics

A DISCLAIMER TO ALL !! i do not in any way support funding the police or condone the military. this user is fiercely #acab and i stand firmly on that point. fuck the military, fuck the government and fuck the cops

i only allow myself to indulge in this fan base because it is purely fictional.

do not glorify the military and make sure you are actively educating yourself on the harm the military is continuously perpetrating to those in and around it.

🐧 Headcanons/drabbles 🐧

smut drabbles marked with * | minors dni

141

going to a rave with the 141 boys

John Price

* price returning from deployment

Johnny 'Soap' Mactavish

hazing

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick

gaz standing up for you

Simon 'Ghost’ Riley

if only simon could love you

🐧 playlists 🐧

here <- just a fun lil habit i have. i really love finding ways to associate music with characters that i love, so do what you want with these ! they're honestly more so for my own enjoyment, but its a good way to also share music around that i enjoy for others to also find :)

[scarywaryspookysoup]

I’m not normally one to shit on things sight unseen (well that’s not completely true, I’ll shit where I want) but jesus christ this new M. Night Shyamalan movie looks so goddamn stupid.

My thoughts from the ad:

1. Not a believable father/daughter duo, but maybe it’s the poor editing of the ad… or maybe it’s the shit dialogue.

2. Clear Lady Gaga character… not even trying here. I mean, the singer is named “Lady Raven”

3. Hopefully the sound in the concert scene is only this shitty because it’s an ad otherwise… jesus.

4. Why would this stadium employee talk to this idiot? First off they’re fucking busy and this dickweed waves them over and away from the work they’re doing. As someone who works in the service industry, I would have said “Do you not see alllll of these other fucking people that are in line to be fucking helped? Does M Night think all you have to do is wave someone over and tell them your name and they’ll spill every ounce of tea they have for you? No, they’ll wait and tell their coworkers about the entitled asshole they gave the cold shoulder to.

5. Why the fuck would this employee know all of the details of a high-stakes police (ACAB 🖕) operation?

6. How exactly did the cops (ACAB 🖕) find out that he was gonna be there but also don’t know who he is? Aaand how exactly are they planning to find him?

7. Pretty disgustingly close to a real murder case that was truly horrific and only 10 years ago. It’s one thing to be “inspired by headlines” (although let’s be real… that’s unnecessary as well, just use your imagination) but to make it this similar from the outset… why? If I can pick this up from a single, poorly made ad, it is pretty blatant.

8. What’s the twist gonna be? Bum bum bummmm the daughter knows! Bum bum bummmm he’s not the butcher— he’s the devil! Bum bum bummm he called the cops on himself! Or, a more important question: who cares?

While I’m sure this reads as FUCKING FURIOUS, more than anything I find it incredibly annoying (except for 7, I find the true story very upsetting and it is asinine to exploit this for another M. Night flop.) I find the current output coming in from studios pretty uninspiring — it’s starting out as a rough summer, but I always hold out hope and often find gems.

Remember when M. Night Shyamalan made that one really incredible movie? And then like a handful of meh movies? And then he just hit the rock bottom of a trash heap? And then he came out with a pretty fun movie and it was like “hey, you burned through a lot of our good graces but good job pulling this one out.” Except then he essentially went back to his worst instincts. One great, a handful of meh or ok, and a pile of dogshit movies do not a box office draw make. In fact, an ad this lackluster and cringe-inducing that then has M. Night Shyamalan’s name blasted at the end as though it will entice us is… laughable to say the least. I didn’t know my eyes could roll this hard. 🙄

[whiskey-bumblebee]

I'm On Fire (Chapter 4)

Pairing: DBF!Aaron Hotchner/Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2266

A/N: Fun fact! There is a coded message in a section of this (don't want to spoil anything but it will hopefully be clear which section might contain a coded message). It is incredibly niche, but it just worked so well. I doubt anyone will be able to uncode it, but I would love to see interpretations 👀

Warnings: Age gap relationship (older Hotch, younger reader), the cops are assholes (acab <3).

Taglist: @littlepeanut03 @rosaline-black @moonmark98 @yuly @jazzymariexoxoc @frogoko @morgthemagpie @laisy @whoreforhondo @ssamorganhotchner

The hard edges of the interrogation chair bite into your legs. You keep your voice measured, your responses meek, informative, but not any more detailed than they need to be.

"Were you close with your father?"

"We used to be close. He recently started seeing a new woman..." You trail off, your vision growing unfocused. "But I guess that's not true."

Sensing a spiral, the police officer cleared his throat and tried to centre your focus again. "How recently?"

"A few months, I think. He was away less at first, then more and more until I didn't see him at all."

"Could you place a date on it?"

You chew your lip. "Do you have a calendar? It might be easier if I can see everything laid out."

The police officer gestured to his partner and the second officer left the room, returning moments later with a calendar. You flicked back to December, skimming your finger over a particular week. "About here. I was at a practice and he didn't show up. It was noticeable by then."

"So it was before the holidays?"

You nodded. "I think so."

You traced your finger over the calendar again, counting the days, trying to remember what you'd been doing on each one. You tried not to let your eyes linger on the sixteenth. The day that Aaron had picked you up, the rain pelting the windscreen, his clothing warm on your body...

"I think," You cleared your throat. "He made an effort around the holidays. I definitely saw him for a day or two. He didn't give me anything, but that's normal for him."

The second officer slid a photograph across the table.

"Do you know this man?"

You nodded, fighting your body at a cellular level. You didn't swallow. You didn't blush. You tried not to look too long, too fondly.

"Aaron Hotchner," You stated. "He was friends with my father when they were younger."

"What's your relationship with him?"

You shook your head. "I don't have one. He picked me up sometime in December, it was just by chance. He saw me waiting for my dad, so he drove me home."

"Anything before that?"

You shook your head again, but this time it was the truth. "I'd seen him in pictures with my dad, from college, but we'd never had a conversation before that."

"When he drove you home, did the topic of conversation include your father at any point?"

You nodded. "Kind of naturally, I think. He asked how my dad was doing, I think it had been a while since they'd seen each other. My dad was pretty isolated from his friends. I thought it was because he was spending all of his free time with his partner-"

The police officer cut you off. "Alright. Do you think you need any additional support? You're an adult, so if you feel the need to reach out to victim services, an attorney, you can do that on your own."

You nodded, feeling kind of dazed. It was intimidating, and you thought: the system is designed to make me feel like this.

"I did have a question, I know it's an early stage in the investigations, but would you be able to make sure I don't hear more of the graphic details than I need to?"

The police officer shook his head. "No. We can't promise anything."

You exhaled uneasily. "Okay."

"In fact, there are some things I think you should know. Since you won't be able to hear them from your dad-"

___

Aaron hated the way that the cuffs felt around his wrists. He'd spent so many years on the other side of this. He felt common, hated, evil. He felt like his father.

"What was your relationship with this man?"

"We went to college together. Ran in the same social circles. I hadn't heard from him for a while, and then his name came up in a case I was working."

"Did you declare a conflict of interest?"

"I didn't feel the need to," Aaron said earnestly. "I hadn't spoken to him for a decade."

JJ shifted from foot to foot anxiously, watching through the glass. "I don't understand, why are they interrogating him? It's not the first time someone on the team has killed a suspect."

"They're trying to determine if he had a significant relationship with the unsub," Reid commented. "If he did, it could count as premeditation, and they'd need to consider his intent."

Morgan looked around the small back room, ensuring none of the local cops were around. "I've never seen Hotch like that. There was just no hesitation. But c'mon, we caught this guy in the act, and he was armed. There's no way Hotch goes down for this. It could have happened to any of us. Just a freak coincidence."

They turned their attention back to the interrogation room as Hotch's voice became heated.

"This is unnecessary. Yes, I positively identified him as the unsub, which meant that I had time to recognize him. But you can ask any of the other agents at the scene, I didn't have the time to make a different decision."

"Unsub?"

"Unknown... The suspect. I identified him as the suspect."

"So you're changing your story?"

"No," Hotch said calmly. "In our unit, we call the suspect an unsub."

"So you think you're better than us?"

"That's irrelevant," Hotch shot back.

Prentiss stifled a chuckle. "He didn't say no."

"Were you aware that the suspect had a daughter?"

One of the officers in the room slid a photograph of you across the table and Aaron's frown deepened.

"Yes," He said softly.

"What is she like?"

"We've had maybe one conversation in the time I've known about her. I wouldn't be able to say."

"Isn't it rather intimate to drive someone home?"

Hotch shook his head. "I don't think so. It was something of an emergency because it was very cold that night and her father was running late..."

"Something you're holding back?"

Hotch paused, looking the other man in the eye, his gaze stern.

"I want to be a father one day. I was thinking that if she was my daughter, I would like to think one of my friends would do the same."

That seemed to take the interrogation team by surprise, as they were all silent for a moment.

___

Unbeknownst to the both of you, Haley Hotchner was in an interrogation suite a few rooms over from the one you sat in. And she was telling a very different story.

___

A few hours later, you lay on your bed in the empty house, staring at the ceiling. You wondered what would happen. Did your father have a will? Would you inherit the house? Would you get kicked out? Where would you go? Had there ever been another girlfriend?

How long would your bed be your bed? How long would your room be your room?

You ached to call Hotch, to see if he was okay, how his interviews were going. But everything was gone. Every trace of him, especially the digital ones. Not that there had been many traces to begin with. You'd washed all of the clothes he'd ever touched. Donated all of his clothes that you had at your house. It had been weeks since you'd had sex, so you were free of his cells. You'd even cleaned your shower drain with some chemical that smelled awful, but it promised to dissolve hair. In case he'd shed even a single strand while showering at your place. You burned the contents of your vacuum cleaner for the same reason. It was cold enough that none of the neighbors questioned the smoke rising from the chimney.

No contact in your phone, no history. No photograph of your shadows. Even a burner phone was too risky. You wished again and again that he had worked for any other branch of the government. But no, it was the BAU. The FBI. And they knew how to dig.

But there was one thing. One precious, golden thing that you refused to throw out, to destroy, to disfigure. Inside a thermos. Hidden between the seal and the cap. In a tiny ziplock bag. A chain with a ring on it. They'd never find it. They'd never take it. Even if they opened the thermos, it would seem empty. It wouldn't rattle because of the ziplock insulating it from the other metal components. That was your perfect crime. Your only crime.

You were afraid of speaking aloud in case the police had bugged your house. They had no reason to suspect that you were involved, but you'd overheard some of the officers, their gossip. An older man, a younger woman. An enraged father. A staged scene. The idea circulated in your head over and over again until you almost started to believe it. Would Hotch kill your father to have easier access to you? Would he do it because your father was so absent? Had you, in some way, encouraged him to do it?

No, you thought, over and over. This was Aaron. Everything else aside, framing someone for the crime would mean that the real killer was still out there. And Aaron would not let that happen.

Your thoughts started to spin the other way, to your father, what the police had told you about his crimes. You'd tried hard to block it out, but some of the phrases they used were sticking.

Inadequate parenting, substitute child figure. Re-enactment. Failure. Punishment for failure.

You sighed, scrunching your eyes shut. You'd go for a walk to clear your head.

____

"Oh no," You heard a woman's voice say. "It looks like I dropped the mail I was carrying. I hope I'll be able to find it."

There was something decidedly odd about it, and you looked towards the source of the voice. A blonde woman in a bright outfit, walking some kind of small fluffy dog. She looked at you pointedly.

"I hope someone is able to find that mail. It would be a shame if it got lost."

You noticed a stack of envelopes on the ground, and rushed to pick them up. "Is this it?"

She walked towards you, a wide smile on her face. "You're even prettier than he said," She whispered as she took the envelopes from your hands, letting one drop to the ground, watching it fall.

She pretended not to notice, and thanked you again, walking the other direction with her dog. You picked up the envelope and tried to call out, but she put her headphones on.

You looked down at the paper, noticing that it wasn't an envelope at all, but a piece of paper roughly folded into quarters.

You tucked it into your pocket, ensuring nobody had seen your interaction. It seemed like nobody had, but then again, it wouldn't have looked particularly suspicious anyway. If it was intentional, you'd open it once you were somewhere private.

You walked until you were on the path that ran past the creek, a substantial distance into the woods. You took a seat on a mossy stump. It was slightly damp, but you couldn't bring yourself to care.

Your heart leapt into your throat. It was him. The spelling was odd, the lowercase strange, but it was him. The handwriting was also unusual, and you looked at it again. It seemed messy, like he'd written it in the dark. He also didn't seem the type to say 'I love you' so prolifically.

honey,

first things first, don't try this. it was risky enough as it is. now isn't the time to play spies, but if we did, i'd meet you in corinth. i needed to tell you that i love you. i wish you'd been a rose by any other name. stay safe. stay smart. god, there's so much i want to tell you. i'm okay. stay the course. take care of yourself. i love you, i love you, i love you. don't try and reach me. i know you're smart enough to get away with it. i know you know you're smart enough two. but don't risk it. burn this in a fiveplace

Fiveplace, you thought. Or maybe it just said fireplace. Then it clicked. You memorized the sequence you thought he'd been trying to communicate. You'd test your theory once you were home. When you looked down at your hands, you saw them shaking.

You didn't want to destroy the note, but you knew it was the most incriminating thing that either of you owned, now that you'd scrubbed yourselves of everything else.

Without letting yourself think twice, you tore it into three pieces and threw it into the creek, piece by piece.

You squeezed your eyes closed. Please, Aaron, please. I hope I read this right.

____

You walked home, trying to ease your mind. It was working until you arrived at the foot of your driveway and noticed a familiar car. Aaron's? It couldn't be.

While you tried to determine who was in the car, she stepped out of the driver's side and walked towards you. Another blonde woman. You recognized her though... From where?

"Do you know who I am?" She asked unsteadily.

You shook your head. "Is that...?"

"His car? It's actually both of ours. We bought it together."

A look of confusion must have come over your face, because all of a sudden, she was stepping closer, extending her hand for a handshake.

"I'm Haley. And I wanted to let you know that I told the police everything."

[male-body-swap-lover]

Thanksgiving Transformation Nightmare - Part Two

BlueLite on main was the hottest gay bar in town. Next week is Thanksgiving so they are hosting a special Thanksgiving theme party. “Dress as your Parents” since so many people go home for thanksgiving. However, BlueLite has special powers. Let’s follow some of our friends on their life changing adventure.

Max did not want to go home for Thanksgiving. He super conservative parents were hosting once again, and he could barely be in the room with them for more than 10 minutes without starting a fight, especially with his father. His father was a pencil pushing desk police officer at his hometown’s police department. He did next to nothing, and bled the government dry. He was the definition of ACAB. However, Max wasn’t going to miss the thanksgiving theme party at Bluelite.

Max was hoping for a fun last night in town before going home for Thanksgiving week.

“Yo Jake, give me another shot of these lime life twisters shots. Gotta go dance my ass off.”

Jake the bartender gave Max another shot. Max downed it and slammed the glass back on the bar. He grabbed his rum and coke, turned around to shake his way back to the dance floor, when he realized everyone was frozen.

“What the hell!”

Suddenly a wind whipped around Max and he started transforming. His abs that he had worked so hard on disappeared in a flash as the weight piled on. His whole body was packing on the fat. He felt a second chin form and his cheeks drooped down. He felt his head and all of his hair had disappeared. He was so confused and tried to take a drink, but found a thick, bushy mustache had formed on his face. Suddenly his back started killing him as he started aging rapidly, only stopping once he hit his late 50’s. His shirt barely covered his massive gut as it struggled to button up. A watch appeared on his massive wrist. Max turned around and looked in the mirror behind the bar and was shocked what he saw. A massively obese police officer, just like his father. He was shocked. He went to take a drink and realized his drink had turned into a donut. Suddenly, all the memories of his old life were replaced with this new life. Maxwell was a police officer who mostly sat at his desk each day, wasting taxpayer dollars. He had an unhappy wife at home and his kids barely talked to him because of his conservative values.

Suddenly, the world around him unfroze.

“Jake, keep the noise down. You fellow shopkeepers are complaining about the noise.”

“Sorry Officer M, but it’s a party. Either join in a get out.”

Maxwell sighed and walked back to his cop car to drive home. His favorite meal of the year was only a week away, and he had to ensure his little wife was already working on it.

[sage-nebula]

Hi, sorry I’m not American and I don’t understand what exactly the caitlyn article is trying to say..? I saw in the tags that it was supposed to be satire after reading the article, and there were some things there that I felt I would understand better if I were American, but I’m not. So, I was wondering if you would mind explaining it to me?

I was reading it and it was amusing, but the satirical aspects were lost to me…

Hi! No worries, I'm happy to help if I can.

So, the main facets of the article that draw from American experiences is the fact that, in the U.S., the police can get away with brutalizing our citizens. This by and large happens to people of color (part of white privilege is that police will very often go easier on white people), but it can happen to anyone. Not only can they brutalize and kill people, but things like qualified immunity (a doctrine that protects them from violating people's constitutional rights if it can't be found that they violated a specific law—and notably, Congress won't pass anything that says "police aren't allowed to kill people" in plain English) make sure that they face no consequences for it. It is very rare that a police officer will be so much as fired, let alone actually punished, for the things they do. Not to mention that police also have something called "the blue line of silence," which means they don't hold each other accountable for the things they do either.

Because of this, many of us realize that there's really no such thing as a "good cop" in real life. Either the good cops quit because they tried to speak up about the awful things their fellow cops did and suffered for it (there are records of police harassing and brutalizing fellow cops who tried to speak out), or they stop speaking up and are thus complicit in the violence. This is where the phrase "all cops are bastards (ACAB)" comes in. It isn't possible to be a cop and an ethical person.

The other part that was specific to the American experience is the first part about "land back." Native American tribes were the first peoples on this continent. They had this land long before European settlers came calling. But European settlers did come calling, and enacted a genocide on the Native Americans in order to steal the land from them. Then, when the United States was founded, the U.S. government continued those practices, forcing Native Americans onto reservations, stealing their children in order to "assimilate" them by putting them with white families and into white schools to kill out their culture, etc. And this is not just a thing of the past; even today, Native American tribes have to fight tooth and nail for things like not having what little land and clean water they have be destroyed for the sake of U.S. government-funded oil pipelines. It's heinous.

Land back programs seek to return control of the land back to the tribes who had it stolen to them. This does not mean that the Americans living on the land would have to gtfo, but that instead of paying taxes to the U.S. government, they would instead pay the Native American tribes who would then in turn be in charge of maintaining their land once again. Obviously, a police force that operates on systemic racism would never go for such a thing peacefully, and neither would the U.S. government. But the movements exist nonetheless, and for good reason. That's what the article was referring to there.

The rest of the satire of the article is pretty generalized to modern leftist internet. It's making fun of the fact that, while all of the above is true, Caitlyn is a fictional cop and fictional fascist and so you are not doing anything wrong at all by finding her hot (or masturbating to her, as it were). Literally no one is hurt by anyone rubbing one out to Caitlyn Kiramman. She's not real, she can't hurt you. But in leftist spaces, often people will get so caught up in trying to prove that they are morally righteous that they will tear each other and themselves apart over fictional preferences like this. "You find a fictional cop hot, so you support police brutality!" is sadly not a rare opinion to find in places like twitter (or even here on tumblr). The article is laughing at those people, because they're clowns. And clowns are supposed to be laughed at.

I hope this helps!