#what are they doin in this pic??? no clue personally

[muri-ne]

never posted this thing i did of my sky kid oopsie

[fanficimagery]

Cheap Thrills

Summary: Imagine receiving drunk text messages from a random number. Even when you make it known you're not who the person is looking for, the texts keep coming. And it's not until you make a post about the texts, complete with screenshots, do you find out who it is.

Words: 3.9K Warnings: None that I can think of.

[From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: u awake? [From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: miss u [From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: can i come over? [From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: hello?

You read the texts, snorting at the poor unfortunate individual who typed in the wrong number. Thumbs tapping out a message of your own, you send it before getting back to your movie.

[To XXX-XXX-XXXX]: i'm sure whoever you're trying to reach misses you too? But sorry to say you have the wrong number.

The random number doesn't text you back so you continue on with your night as if nothing had happened. But the next morning, when you wake up, you find yet another text message from the random number.

[From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: i am so sorry about those texts. I was drunk.

[To XXX-XXX-XXXX]: lol it's alright. You're forgiven.

You've had random numbers text you from time to time, but never a number that texts you in a drunken stupor yet again even after you've told them they had the wrong number. So the following night, you're surprised to see the stranger's number pop up again.

[From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: what r u doin?

[To XXX-XXX-XXXX]: umm…

[From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: r u a chick or a dude lol..

You snort. Of course. It's definitely a guy texting because had it been a drunk female there's no way she'd care to find out the gender. She'd most likely just text to her heart's content before passing out without a care in the world whether it was a guy or girl listening to her rant.

[To XXX-XXX-XXXX]: chick.

[From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: yess! Boyfriend?

[To XXX-XXX-XXXX]: jesus. You're really in top form tonight, aren't you?

[From XXX-XXX-XXXX]: baby i'm in top form every night ;)

[To XXX-XXX-XXXX]: and on that note, I'm out. Don't forget to chug some water before bed, Stranger Danger.

The texts continue the following weekend, the drunken stranger flirting to his heart's content. He's funny, is definitely down to cuddle, and really wants to spend the night though he has no clue who you are. You had asked for a name, but never got an answer. You weren't too alarmed about not knowing it since he was never really serious about coming over (at least you hoped not), but your curiosity ended up getting the better of you.

So after screenshotting a couple pages, you post them to Twitter after blacking out every number but the last four with the caption: Get you a stranger who'll drunk text you even after explaining you're not who he's looking for..

You weren't really expecting the screenshots to blow up the way they did, nor for anyone to actually know your drunken stranger, but sure enough a week later you're receiving private messages from none other than David Dobrik himself.

Planning to meet David Dobrik leaves you feeling a bit anxious, but you calm when he tells you his assistant Natalie will be joining him. So after hastily making some plans, you agree on meeting in a public park where there will be others around to make you feel a bit more comfortable.

You choose a pretty shaded spot beneath a tree in clear view of everyone milling about the park, and plop down with an assortment of snacks as you wait for David and Natalie to show up. Fortunately for you, you don't have to wait long. Natalie video calls you to find exactly where you're at and when she does it's not long before you're meeting them face to face.

David's already giggling and recording when he steps up to you, and you can't help but smile in return as you stand to greet them. "Hey. So, uh, it's cool to meet you guys." You briefly hug each of them before gesturing for them to sit with you.

"Likewise," David says. He and Natalie sit, and you offer them some of your snacks which Natalie readily digs in to. "So not to be rude and rush you, but can I please see the texts?"

You chuckle. "Yeah." Bringing forth your phone, you pull up the numerous texts from the number David claims to know. As you pass him your phone, you ask, "So you gonna tell me who Stranger Danger finally is?"

Natalie's eyes widen before she swats at David's arm. "You haven't told her?!"

"Ow! What?"

"David," she sighs.

You watch them, grinning. "I mean I kind of understood why David waited, but I'm really curious as to which one of your friends is thirsty as fuck to be texting a stranger."

David laughs as he continues to read. "Did he really say I'll show you mine if you show me yours?"

You grimace. "Yeah. Even sent me a dick pic which is why I tell him that I don't wanna see the peen a few texts down."

"Oh my god," Natalie muses. "He didn't."

"He did. Now can I please know whose penis I have seared into my brain?"

Natalie facepalms as David says, "Toddy."

"Toddy?" You brow furrows as you try to recall which one Toddy is. It isn't until Natalie shows you a picture of Toddy on her own phone do your eyes widen. "Oh. Oh wow."

David snorts and Natalie winks as she puts her phone away. "So you never once asked what he looked like?" She then asks as David screenshots everything he can before airdropping the pictures to his own phone.

"I mean I didn't really care about what he looked like," you shrug. "I found amusement in the texts and it surprised me that he continued to text every time he got drunk. I asked for a name eventually, but he never gave one."

"So he doesn't know your name or what you look like?" David asks, finally looking up at you.

"Nope."

He slowly smiles and Natalie groans. "I know that look. I hate that look. What are you thinking?"

David giggles. "I'm thinking of surprising Todd." You must make a face because David's quick to finish explaining. "It'll just be us and Todd. We can all hang out at my place and if the others show up, they show up. It'll be fine."

"I- I mean.." You trail off, glancing at Natalie. "What do you think? You've got a clearer head on your shoulders."

"Hey!"

Natalie huffs a small laugh. "It could be fun," she then says with a small shrug. "Todd will definitely find it funny, especially since you exposed him on Twitter. He'll also be happy that you're cute."

You blush as they stare at you, anxiously awaiting your answer. And after taking a moment to think about it, you sigh. "What the hell. Let's do it."

David cheers and they waste no time in helping you gather your trash. David offers for Natalie to drive his car while he drives with you, and she agrees. Then on the way to his house, David records some more to get more of your story for his vlog.

He finds out you're single to which he ooh's at and casually mentions that Todd is single as well, and is quite fascinated to learn that you think his friend is hot. You laugh and end up blushing, so to make you feel a little better he mentions that you're his friend's type as well. But all too soon you're pulling up to David's house where he's instructing you to park behind the safety of his gate.

You've seen his house in several of his videos, but it still leaves you awestruck as they lead you inside. All shoes are left by the front door and you can't help but stare at the ridiculously large bean bag chair when you enter the living room.

"Dibs."

"On?" David asks, he and Natalie immediately plopping down on the couch and stretching out on opposite ends.

"The bean bag." You cautiously take a seat and let yourself sink into it, smiling at David's giggling. Once you're completely laid back and curled up, you sigh in contentment. "I definitely need to invest in one of these."

"It really is comfortable." David taps away on his phone, humming. "So Todd should be here in a couple of hours. Does anyone want to order food while we wait?"

"Food. Yes!" Natalie groans.

"Does anyone deliver a good burger? I am so down for a burger and fries," you grumble.

David turns on his TV while Natalie orders the food. Bohemian Rhapsody is on and you urgently plead for David to leave it on that. He does and you have no shame in singing along or clapping to the Queen songs. The We Will Rock You scene leads you to performing your own rendition of the song, and both David and Natalie crack up when you sing the entire song from heart.

The food eventually gets there and you all take a seat at the kitchen counters. However, not even halfway through with your food, Todd texts David that he's outside.

"Oh shit, Y/N. Hide!" David tells you.

You nearly fall off your stool to which Natalie nearly chokes on her food laughing at, but she's quick to help you into the guest bathroom that's just around the corner. She leaves you alone and rejoins David, and it's not long before a third voice enters the mix.

          ----------

Todd walks into the kitchen, yawning and ruffling his hair. He nods at Natalie as she washes a few dishes to place in the dishwasher, and then takes a seat next to David who has his camera set up across from him.

"So what's going on?" He asks, stealing a french fry from the tray in front of him.

"I called you over here because I want to hear your side of the story," David informs him, slowly grinning.

Todd freezes, nervously chuckling as Natalie smirks at him. "About?"

"About this." David pulls up tweet that went viral, showing Toddy the screenshots of his text messages.

"She didn't," Todd exclaims, laughing. "Fuck. She did!"

"You've been exposed," Natalie muses. "How does it feel?"

"How did you even find these? Or even connect them back to me," Todd then wonders. "Wait does she have a pic?"

"No," David laughs, taking back his phone. "And I know it's you because the last four digits are the exact same as yours, and when I DM'd her I confirmed that the number she had was the same one I had for you. It was a long shot really, but I'm glad I took that leap of faith."

"You talked to her?!"

"Yeah. She's really cool. I think you'd like her."

"Really?"

"Really," Natalie agrees. "And if you keep eating her food, she's going to murder you."

          ----------

"And if you keep eating her food, she’s going to murder you."

"My food?" You mumble. But then Natalie's words click and your eyes widen. You can hear Todd beginning to ask something, but you throw open the door and march out towards the kitchen. "Not another bite, Stranger Danger!"

Todd nearly falls off the stool from where he whirls around so fast and you can't help but laugh. He's surprised, but beams a moment later, and you slowly walk towards him.

"You're the- you're her?"

"Yep." You stop a few feet in front of him. "And you're him- the drunk texter."

"Holy shit." He laughs, shaking his head at David whose recording it all, and then asks you, "Can I hug you? Is that weird?"

"You've sent me a dick pic, man. There's no getting more weird than that."

The tips of Todd's ears burn red as he moves in for a hug and you embrace him briefly. When he lets go, however, he keeps one arm around your shoulders as he faces David's camera once more. "So how much of my texts have you actually seen?"

"Everything but the picture," David giggles. "Y/N deleted it."

"Y/N?" Todd then glances down at you.

"Yep. And you're Todd. It's nice to officially meet you."

"Aw. Aren't you two adorable," David teases. "Now come on. Let's move this to the living room. It's getting weird just standing around."

"Wait. Hold on." You scurry forward and grab up your half eaten burger, taking one last big bite from it before heading towards the living room.

Todd watches you go, gaze adoringly watching your every step. "Marry me."

With bulging cheeks, you wink and continue on.

David and Natalie retake their spots on the couch, and the bean bag is so large that Todd throws himself next to you after you've settled down. The problem with the bean bag, however, is that you end up sliding towards Todd since he's heavier. He winks when you bump into him and you huff a laugh, but you get settled either way and pull out your phone to give you something to do.

Todd, you find out, is an Instagram hoe and you find yourself taking numerous selfies with him- some with filters and some without. You're even in his Instastories, laughing and trying to cover your face, but it's no use. He gives no explanation as to who you are, only that you're a friend. He even posts quick little videos of David and Natalie, and you arguing with David over which movie to watch.

You have no idea how long you've been with the group, only that it feels like you've known these people for a long time, so it's no big surprise that other friends of theirs show up to hang out.

Erin and Carly show up together, followed by Zane and Matt.

"Wait. So let me get this straight," Erin exclaims. "You," she points at Todd, "have been texting her," she then points at you, "for weeks? And you had no clue what the other looked like or names and this is your first time meeting?"

From your position- Todd stretched out one way and you the other with your legs draped over his- you grin. "Yep."

"Todd!" Carly laughs. "What even- how?"

"I thought I was texting Corinna!" He defends himself, chuckling. "I deleted Corinna's number, and she and Y/N have similar numbers. Totally accidental."

Everyone glances at you and you roll your eyes. "Chill. I knew his texts were intended for the ex. I even encouraged him to text her, but his drunken self found more amusement with a stranger."

Natalie snorts. "I'll say. He asked for nudes pretty frequently."

"Todd!" Matt cackles at the same time Zane muses, "Baby, no."

"Don't worry, I never sent them. I got more respect for myself than that," you say. "Todd, on the other hand, has no shame."

"You didn't," Erin says.

"It was one time!"

"It was still a dick pic." You grin. "And come on, man, who are you trying to kid? Your texts were thirsty as fuck at times."

"I have got to see these texts," Zane says.

Smirking, you pull up the text messages on your phone and move to toss your phone to an eager Zane. But seeing what you're about to do, Todd grips your thigh just enough to make you laugh in surprise. "Y/N, don't."

Zane's still reaching for the phone so Todd rolls over you. You grunt at the added weight, wiggling just enough to roll both you and Todd off the bean bag and onto the floor. You both grunt when you land.

"Oh my god," David laughs. "This is better than two girls fighting in baby oil."

Everyone's laughing now, especially when Todd says, "There's nothing better than two girls fighting in baby oil," as he gets the upper hand and straddles your stomach.

Your phone slips out of your hand, which he's quick to grab up, but with your free hand you're free to pinch Todd's nipple through his shirt. He yelps and you're quick to buck him off, you then rolling the both of you in order to straddle his stomach before reaching towards his outstretched arm for your phone.

Todd goes oddly still before giggling and it's all too easy to reclaim your phone. "You know what, I'm not even mad about this position."

Slightly leaning up to glance between you and Todd, you huff a laugh when you see his face is practically in between your tits. "You're a dick." As you fully sit up, you pinch Todd again to which he giggles at and then toss your phone at Zane. "You have free reign to read every one of Todd's texts now. Enjoy." Zane cheers, Matt, Erin, and Carly quickly crowding him to read them as well.

Todd pokes your waist and you flinch, your waist being very ticklish, and the two of you end up slapping each other's hands as you slide off of him and back onto the beanbag. Todd's beaming smile makes your heart beat a little harder and you're grateful he can't hear it.

"You're kind of strong," Todd says as he ends up settling next to you once more.

"I should hope so. I grew up with two older brothers. You best believe they tried every wrestling move on me until I learned how to get out of it."

"They still tease you?"

"All the time." You slowly smile, chuckling at fond memories. "What about you? Any siblings you fight with?"

"Nah. I'm an only child."

"So you're an only child who still acts like a child, huh?"

"Hey!"

Todd reaches over as if he's going to tickle you and you curl up in order to protect yourself. "No! I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

He chuckles softly and reaches for you again, but he only hooks an arm under your neck and pulls you in so you're curled into his side. "How much longer can you stay?"

You hum. "Not much longer," you admit. "I live about an hour away so I should be on the road pretty soon."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Zane, Matt, Carly, and Erin are still hysterical over Todd's drunken texts, David and Natalie are in their own world, as are you and Todd. His calm demeanor puts you at ease and you suddenly find yourself wishing you could stay much longer in his presence.

"Aw. Look at them," David suddenly teases. When you and Todd look at him, David smirks. "You're welcome."

You snort. "Shut up." Todd opens up his phone to momentarily distract himself, but in doing so you see the time. "Shit," you mumble. "It's already that late? I need to go."

Todd's head snaps in your direction. "Aw. No."

"Sorry, but I need to." He frowns and your heart goes out to him for a bit. "Tell you what. Let's go grab some dinner. You take your car and I'll take mine so I can leave afterward."

"Fuck it. Let's do it." You and Todd stand up, and everyone readily stares at you. "Nope," he tells them. "None of you are invited."

As the weeks slowly pass, nothing really changes with the exception that you've made friends with several Youtubers, and Todd's taken to texting you when he's sober as well now- maybe even hanging out when he's not with everyone else. So it's really no surprise when you get a FaceTime call from David as you're scrolling through social media before you put a movie on.

Accepting the call, you squint at the too bright room on David's end. "Do you have to have all those lights on? Jesus." As you move around, you end up laying back on your pillows.

He grins. "It's not even midnight. Why are you in bed already?"

"I'm not in bed-bed." You roll your eyes. "I was just getting ready to watch a movie. It just so happens that it's more enjoyable to watch from the comfort of a bed."

"Yeah? Which movie?"

"Guess."

"Bohemian Rhapsody."

"Goddammit."

David giggles. "You have a serious problem when it comes to that kid from Jurassic Park who's all grown up now."

"Joe Mazzello went from an adorable little nerd to total daddy material. He deserves all my love."

"Jesus Christ." You grin at David's amusement. Eventually though, his laughter tapers off. "Well I'll let you get back to your movie, but I need to record something real quick. You game?"

"If it involves me leaving my bed, then no. Other than that, let's do this."

"No. This is good." David props his phone up so he can hold his camera with both hands and record the call. Then, he says, "So since I posted the video of you and Todd meeting, the viewers have gone crazy."

"Of course they have."

"Inquiring minds need to know," he smirks, "if you're still Todd's booty text or if an honest friendship has blossomed from my intervening?"

You roll your eyes, teeth digging into the bottom corner of your lip as you fight off a blush. "Why does this feel like an episode of Catfish where the host is checking in weeks later to see how I'm doing?"

"Just answer the question, Y/N."

"Fine." You sigh. "Hold on." Getting out of bed, you then make your way downstairs. Heading for the kitchen, you then flip the camera on your phone. "Does this answer your question?"

Upon hearing your voice, Todd turns around from his place at the kitchen island where he was fixing a bowl of popcorn. He smiles. "What are you doing?"

"Oh my god!"

Todd's smile falters but your wink lets him know all is good. Sidling up to his left side, you hip check him as you flip the camera back so it catches both you and Todd. "An honest friendship has blossomed," you say. "I am introducing him to my current favorite movie."

Todd chuckles as he leans closer to the screen, his expression then morphing into one of mock horror. "Help me."

"No way. Natalie owes me twenty bucks! NATALIE!" David then sets his camera aside, picking his phone back up as he starts walking around. "So how long have you guys been hanging out for behind our backs?"

"Since you introduced us face to face," Todd says. "And we weren't exactly going behind your back, we just-"

"We wanted to hang out without anyone making a big deal out of it." You shrug. "But it's been long enough and you're going to make a big deal out of it no matter what, so.."

"So if you don't mind," Todd says as he takes your phone from you, "Y/N and I got a movie to watch."

"Wait! Just answer one question," David says. Todd goes quiet, nodding. "Did you finally get Y/N to cuddle you?"

Todd and David explode with laughter at the same time, and that seems to be all David needs to hear. You take your phone back, shaking your head. "Goodbye, David. We'll text you later if you're still awake." And before he can retort, you end the call before pocketing your phone.

"I guess the cat's out of the bag," Todd muses, shrugging sheepishly.

"Well not the whole cat." You slowly smile, leaning up on the tips of your toes and pressing your lips to Todd's. "And it's going to stay that way just a little bit longer. Your fans are crazy."

"Whatever you say, babe. Now can we please go watch that movie of yours? You got me all hyped up after those Queen songs you played all afternoon long."

"Sure thing." Todd grabs the bowl of popcorn and you grab some drinks from the refrigerator. As he follows you back up the stairs, you say, "Now don't get all huffy when I eventually swoon. I adore you, but I adore Joe and Gwilym just a little bit more."

"You're a terrible girlfriend."

"And I'm afraid I don't get much better." You huff a laugh. "You signed up for this, babe. Get used to it."

[toby-35]

Fun story time? Also kinda links with that ask game i did yesterday?

Quick lil background. As a kid, i was very much a Tomboy, so dressing up in boys clothes 99% of the time. The other 1% was a week of every year when I'd try and wear a dress to 'fit in'

Anyway.

So yesterday i was looking through some old pics from when i was like, 7-11, and you can 100% tell that in those pics, i look like a boy. No question about it.

I was always very Masc as time went on, especially from when i was 11, i accidentally had my hair cut really short. (Which in turn made me look like one of the lads)

Now, at this time i had no fuckin idea what being LGBTQ+ meant, never heard of it, but in some way i was self homophobic? I'd always hate myself for looking like a guy. I'd get judged so bad, even got thrown out of a shop once (whilst i was with my parents)

So as time went on, when i was about 13? I was like, shit, started crushing on girls, got my hair cut real short again, only then did i realise i might be Bi. Fell out with a friend over it. So i think that also made me be a bit more homophobic to myself because no one accepted me, so i didnt.

Again, as time went on, i began learning of the LGBTQ+ community, figuring out which label suited me. I probably changed my label so many times, which in turn got me a bit of hate "i thought you said you were..." or "make your mind up!" Etc. You get the point.

There was a time where my group got to be a lil big, there was probably 6-8 of us instead of the normal 4. I was late to school i think, and one of these people came over to me telling me about some sly comments a 'friend' had made. This person had been questioning if i was trans, which is completely fine, but they were doin it negatively, which is not. They were also questioning whether i was actually what i said i was (at the time i found that Pansexual suited)

It was to the point where i did not feel welcome, so when it came to my 'label' i kept quiet. I wasnt happy with who i was so... I wasnt the only one but i feel i was the first to be very open about it (AND PROUD-- fuck the haters)

At school i was very flamboyant (extremely camp) so there was no doubt that i was gay, now i used gay as an umbrella term cuz i didnt have a clue what i was.

It was only like, a few months ago did i start looking and realising what i might be. I mean, I'm still unsure of my 'label' but ive got a more solid idea.

Is this a coming out post? (If it is its very longwinded)

Well.

Okay then.

I'm a Non-Binary Pansexual. And my pronouns are They/Them.

This seems to be the most accurate term i can give myself atm. It could change.

So basically, the short story is, I looked back on some photos that basically confirm what I've been questioning all along.

-Ceely Damar

[harrywavycurly]

Interview with the Horans!

This is a compilation of questions I’ve received for Niall and Delilah to answer and I did it as if they were sitting down doing an interview, I hope you enjoy and that it helps give you an insight into the lives of the Horans! If you have no clue what I’m talking about Niall and Delilah are from my Insta Story you can find here! 

Q: How did you two meet?

Niall: At an after party of a sports event I believe? She’s gonna kill me if I got it wrong. 

Delilah: Really? An after party? You’re so annoying. We met at a sports event that I didn’t want to go too but my friend Phoebe dragged me to it and I ran into Niall at the bar it was all super casual.

Niall: Ya sure, if ya call her almost knockin me over ta order a bloody drink casual. 

Q: How did you ask Delilah to be your girlfriend? 

Niall: Oh god uh I jus sat her down and asked her if she wanted to be exclusive an she laughed at me cos she was like “who the hell uses the term exclusive? you’re such an old man” dat was probably after we had been on like four or so dates. I jus enjoyed bein round her. 

Delilah: It was super cute, he gets all blushy and adorable. He was nervous and I have no clue as to why, he had already asked to share my calendar with him to see what dates work for us and everything. Like that’s a pretty big deal. 

Q: What’s a normal day in the life like for the Horans?

Niall: nine times outta ten shes up before me, she was like dat even before the girls. She can stay awake till six in da bloody mornin and be up at eight ready to rock n roll. S’a bit disturbin, but our days when M’not on tour are very like every other married couples... jus wit a set of twins.

Delilah: We go on a walk in the mornings, we’ve been doing that ever since I was pregnant, and while on the walk is when we lay out the game plan for the day. So if he has any meetings or anything he’ll tell me so I can plan my day around it. So like yesterday he had a photo shoot for something-

Niall: Cos m’a model now. Just so ya know.

Delilah: Right...so anyway he had his model thing so the girls and I brought him lunch and he was home at a decent time to help with their bedtime routine.

Niall: I feel like we are pretty normal ta be honest like we don’t do a lot of extravagant shit.

Delilah: Not anymore no.

Niall: We were never like jet settin on tons of trips and stuff we’ve always kinda just went from New York to California. We like ta lay low.

Delilah: As low as a former member of one of the largest boy bands in the world can lay....he forgets who he is sometimes. But yes we do kinda just stick to the two places and don’t go out much unless it’s to dinner because I like to eat out a lot. It’s a problem that I’m working on. Oh and Niall likes to go to parties without me but that’s not typically part of a normal day in the life of us.

Niall: M’not even gonna go der wit you.

Q: Speaking of parties, Delilah it’s pretty obvious you don’t like being left at home while Niall goes and has fun.

Delilah: Yeah he’s an asshole. He met Post Malone while I was at home trying to get comfy with my damn pregnancy pillow! And him and Shawn just are super annoying when they get drunk together. But I don’t mind him having his bro time and going out without me, I just like being dramatic.

Niall: Yeah m’da worst at like tryin ta plan parties and invitin her cos half the time they are so last minute and I know she does not do last minute.

Delilah: No I need at least four hours to prepare myself to be around people and to like get dressed and all that not so fun stuff. 

Q: Who said I love you first?

Niall: She did. During an argument matter of fact, it was pretty memorable. 

Delilah: I said it during a moment of passion Niall James not a full blown argument. it was like a “God why do I have to love you so much?” Don’t make it sound so dramatic. 

Niall: M’pretty sure yelling it in the middle of a “passionate argument” is the same as jus sayin it in an argument babe but okay. 

Delilah: It’s totally different, you’re just a dumb boy you wouldn't understand.

Q: Rumor has it you two broke up briefly while Niall was on tour just after releasing Flicker. Is that true? 

Delilah: Yes it’s true. Couples take breaks. Look at Ross and Rachel, it worked out fine for them. 

Niall: Really ya gonna bring Ross and Rachel into dis? They suffered fo a few years before actually bein happy...

Delilah: I mean are you upset that I forgave you too soon? 

Q: Why did you two break up?

Delilah: Yeah Niall why did we break up? 

Niall: Yer such an arse. Uhhh can we skip dis one? We’re allowed like one skip right? 

Delilah: Nope. The people want to know and you always say you’re a man of the people. 

Niall: I cheated. Next question please. 

Q: What songs on Flicker are about Delilah?

Niall: None of em. 

Delilah: Did you hear that world? I was not the muse for that sad ass album so stop blaming me for breaking this man’s heart. 

Niall: Slow hands is bout her I guess, it was written after a date wit her to a bar so yeah, slow hands s’bout her. 

Delilah: I'll allow that one. 

Niall: Oh and So Long. But that’s not on the album so...but most of the songs I didn’t necessarily write wit anyone in mind more of an emotion I wanted ta get across. 

Q: When the two of you were dating who was the best at keeping in touch with the other?

Niall: She was at first then I’d say it was pretty even once we got a bit mo serious. We always had a good long chat at the end of each day tho no matter if we only exchanged two texts throughout the day.

Delilah: In the beginning I was just nosey and wanted to know what he was doing all the time. Then I realized he legit is either in the studio or he’s playing golf or at some sort of event. We still do the phone call each night when he’s away. 

Q: What’s something you love about each other? 

Niall: Easy! Her love of life, she is someone that ya jus wanna be around cos she will make ya smile and makes ya ten times happier jus being in the same room as her. 

Delilah: Awe you’re so sweet! I honestly love the fact Niall will never tell you anything just because he knows you want to hear it, he doesn’t sugar coat things and I know that sounds odd to like love that about someone but it’s just refreshing. I love knowing that if I ask him for his opinion it's going to be 100% honest and how he truly feels and sometimes it makes me want to smack him but mostly I just appreciate what he has to say. 

Niall: Oh an I love her laugh. 

Delilah: Niall also has a very nice ass so you can put that down as something I love as well. 

Niall: Delilah Grace...m’not arguing though.

Q: So Niall this is mainly for you, how has it been dealing with how often Delilah posts about your private life since normally you like to keep that to yourself.

Delilah: Ohhhh good question!

Niall: I don’t mind it really, s’not like she posts pics of me doin anythin scandalous. I think she shows another side ta me dat the fans enjoy, it shows them dat I’m like I always say, a normal guy wit jus an abnormal job. Also her captions are jus...somethin else she has such a way wit words.

Delilah: He laughs so hard at the photos I post of him looking annoyed. He loves those the best.

Niall: I’d also say she’s da reason my posts have gotten a bit more personal. She’s helped me realize dat my Instagram an twitter doesn’t have ta jus be all Niall Horan the musician. The fans and everyone wanna jus get ta know me.

Delilah: You’re welcome world.

Q: So you two have been married for almost a year now right? What’s been the best part of being married?

Delilah: I get lots of free stuff, it’s pretty freakin great if I’m being honest. 

Niall: Ignore her, yes we’ve been married almost a year now, hard ta believe s’only been a year. 

Delilah: I mean having the girls seemed to take up a big part of the year so I’d honestly say the best part of being married so far is just knowing he’s fully mine now and I get to be in his life forever. Sounds lame when I say it out loud.

Niall: I think the best part is jus knowin that she’s there. Like she always has my back on anythin an bein able to point to her an be like “oh dats my wife.” I enjoy that quite a lot if m’bein totally honest wit ya. 

Q: So the twins they are adorable by the way, what was your initial reaction when you found out you were having twins?

Niall: I absolutely almost shit myself it took me completely off guard.

Delilah: Same! But really I was kinda hoping I was having twins because lord was I getting huge kinda faster than I had anticipated.

Niall: It’s also in the long run good cos we only wanted two so like boom! One an done is what they say right?

Delilah: No one says that about kids you weirdo.

Niall: S’for sure a thing people say even bout kids. 

Q: Who takes care of the kids more?

Delilah: Me, just because Niall has a job while I stay home all day in my sweatpants eating.

Niall: Obviously it’s Delilah, she is an actual angel fo everythin she does for the girls and myself even. An jus fo the record she doesn’t wear sweatpants all day, she eventually puts like dem leggin type pants on.

Delilah: Thanks honey. 

Q: So Delilah what would you do if you came home to Niall asleep on the couch when he’s supposed to be watching the girls?

Delilah: It depends. If the girls are also asleep I’d probably cry at how cute they all look passed out.

Niall: Dey are way cuter dan me when they’re alseep.

Delilah: But if he’s asleep and they aren’t...oh hell will be raised in the Horan house. I’d probably smack him with a throw pillow and never let him live that moment down. Like even Shawn hasn’t fallen asleep while watching the girls yet and he’s only watched them after they are asleep so Niall and I can go have dinner alone. 

Q: So is Shawn The Godfather?

Niall: Did he tell you to ask dat?

Delilah: He’s one of them yes.

Niall: We have two godfathers and two godmothers.

Delilah: We are just extra like that, don’t even ask why. 

Q: Last question, how have you handled the fans response towards your relationship? The overall response seems to be everyone pretty much adore the two of you.

Niall: Oh it’s been great really, only a few people here an there have some shitty remark ta say but it’s always something stupid.

Delilah: I think after the first two years it just switched and it’s been for the most part pretty nice. I think at first the fans just didn’t know how serious this was going to be and everyone legit loves Niall so they wanted to make sure I was worthy of him. But I mean we’ve been together for so long now that they’ve fully accepted me.

Niall: Dey have realized she’s not goin anywhere. I mean she met me when I was still in One Direction like jus before the hiatus so she’s been through a lot wit me and the fans love er.

Delilah: Diall till death.

Niall: Oh yeah dats our Uh..what they call it? Ship name? Diall!

[every1studio]

a new beginning // MXM

hello all! this is a BRAND NEW scenario blog (I’ve moved from @wanna1studio). To start off this blog; I’ll be writing a piece with MXM. AM OPEN FOR REQUESTS AS WELL

genre: fluff + friendly rivalry between MXM

ficstyle: bulletpoints / oneshot 

summary: with all your hard work and perseverance, you started working at Cafe Hallyu Doin’ where many celebrities come by. although you respected the celebs, you weren’t too big of a fan to ask get a chance to talk to every celeb that comes by. but one day you notice them starting to go out of their way to talk to you... 

note: I still have my old account open to finish “JBJ SHAREHOUSE” series and I want to keep some of my works up so that people can still read them. But I’ll be taking requests on this blog (:

“congrats, y/n!!! I wish I got accepted to work at Cafe Hallyu Doin’...” 

your friends congratulated you for getting accepted

Cafe Hallyu Doin’ is an exclusive cafe made for celebs/rich people so they can comfortably get coffee and hang out with other celebs/rich peope

its above a celebrity salon so many of them get coffee or something to eat from the cafe before/after their appointments

you thought you only got accepted because you weren’t too big on fawning over celebrities

(you were in it for the pay; THE PAY WAS TOO GOOD TO NOT APPLY)

FLASHBACK (to the interview)

“so y/n, who’s your celebrity crush?”

“I don’t really have time to have crushes with celebrities.. don’t get me wrong they are all very good looking, but looking at good looking people aren’t going to pay for my rent or college tuition.”

after saying that all the interviewers started to nod and scribble something down

“please be on the lookout for a call to let you know if you got the job”

 BACK TO THE PRESENT

you finished up your avocado-smoked salmon toast 

“okay guys I gotta go to work now.. I’m closing tonight so I’ll see you guys in class tomorrow”

“TAKE LOTS OF PICS FOR US AND POST IT IN OUR GROUP CHAT”

you heard your friends say

“crazy kiddos, you know I won’t do it”

walked out of the restaurant and you heard your friends saying how it was a waste and all but they wouldn’t make you do anything you didn’t wanted

before you walked into the building, you took out to wear your STAFF ID CARD lanyard

the only way you could get into the cafe was through the salon

and the only way to get into the salon is with an ID card, appointment card, or you’re a literal celeb

“oh it’s you! so it seems like you got the job, congrats!” you saw the salon’s receptionists; twins; boy and girl

you saw them when you came in for your interview last week

“thank you...I’m surprised you see a lot of people everyday, how do you even remember me?” you blushed

they both giggled

“it’s because we don’t see a lot of new faces; we usually get our regulars and you’re incredibly cute, who wouldn’t remember you? I’m Jun and this is my sister, Jane”

you were flustered; “um.. nice to meet you both of you.. I’ll be heading up then” 

you bowed slightly and rushed up to the cafe

THUD

you bumped into someone and looked up to say sorry as quickly as you could without being rude

“I’m so sorry, I’m going to be late on my first day. I’m sorry”

it was the first day at work and you didn’t want to be late by even one second

“hey you dropped your-” 

you were already gone

the person picks up your cell phone 

“ya we should give it back to them” the person next to the person that you bumped said

the one that picked up your phone smiled, “I don’t think they knows us, should we photobomb their phone?”

the other guy smacks him in the head, “THAT’D BE RUDE.. wait who do we know who to give it to, we barely saw their face?”

they clicked your phone to see if your lockscreen would give them a clue

you had a picture of you and your long-haired Scottish-fold cat 

“WOW SHE’S A CUTIE”

the guys fight over your phone as they also make their way up to the cafe

up in the cafe, you didn’t need lots of help since you worked at many cafes before

all you needed to do was learn how to make their specialty items and specific etiquette to dealing with customers at the cafe

“you’ll do good. from what I see, you’re respective and polite. you have many skills, I’m glad to have you on the team” the owner sticks his hand out to shake yours

you took it with two hands, “thank you for speaking highly of me, I won’t let you down”

“I need to bake some cakes so if you need anything, I’ll be in the back. Wonho (the owner’s son) will be coming in soon as well so don’t worry”

you nodded and helped out the customers at the front

they seemed to be huffing and puffing 

(were they that thirsty to rush here for drinks?)

“hello, how may we help yo-”

“(huff) you bumped (huff) into me earlier (huff)” one says as he leans over the counter

(oh no... you can’t get a complaint! you just got this job!) you started to get worry but you didn’t lose your composure

“I am so sorry, sir. is ther-”

but the guy next to the guy who you bumped into interrupted you

“you (huff huff) dropped your phone (huff)” he hands your phone

you were relieved it wasn’t anything like he wanted to sue you for touching him

“oh thank you so much” you reach for your phone with two hands but he jerks it back

“but I’ll only give it back if you give me your number”

“YA YOUNGMIN I WAS THE ONE THAT SHE BUMPED INTO”

“i WAS THE ONE THAT BROUGHT THE PHONE TO HER, DONGHYUN-AH”

you saw someone come up from behind them and grab them by the ears

“I’m so sorry if they caused you any problem, I’ll go deal with these kids asap” 

“MANAGER HYUNG WE SHOULD AT LEAST GET DRINKS BEFORE WE GO!” Donghyun whines in agony

“YEAH MANGER HYUNG!” Youngmin cries in unison

the manager lets go of their ears, “does she even know who you guys are? please introduce yourselves before kiddos”

“Brand New, hello, we are MXM”

you clapped in response to them

“so uh... miss y/n.. if I were drink what would it be?” Donghyun smiles

but he flinches when the manager threatens to pull them away

“hmm.. Donghyun if you were a drink then you’d be an iced cold-press Vietnamese coffee” 

“what about me?” Youngmin scoots Donghyun over

“Youngmin.. mmm.... you’d be a light caramel frappe with an espresso drizzle..”

“ooohhhhh we’re so sophisticated” Donghyun says

honestly you just went off by their hair color and outfits that they wore

they paid for their drinks and waited for you to make them

instead of waiting like how normal people would for coffee, they acted like little kids

“okay but like what are you doing now?”

“how does that machine work?”

“can you add more condense milk to mine?”

“ya kids can y/n please do her job in peace?” the manager looked really stressed so you made an iced americano for him (on the house bc the man was getting grey hair from stress when he didn’t even look that old)

when the boys got their drinks, they used your phone to take a selfie

“let’s take a selfie to commemorate your first day on the job!” Youngmin says as he stretches his arm out

you looked back at the owner and he gave you an okay sign

CLICK

“y/n!! we’ll be back tomorrow! it’s only just the beginning! I’ll make sure I’ll win your heart!” Donghyun waves

“ya not if I win it first” Youngmin nudges Donghyun

you bowed as they left bickering

“whoa, I’m surprised y/n stayed professional the whole time, huh dad?”

“so who do you like more y/n ah?”

you turned to look at the owner and his son both have their heads in their hands 

it seemed like they viewed the whole spectacle as if it was a drama

“you know Dad? if I was y/n, I’d chose Youngmin”

the dad looks at him, “what? I’d chose Donghyun!”

oi vey

you never answered them 

(so this happened) you posted the pic in the group chat and you were bombarded with questions in all caps

every since that one day, those boys have been visiting the cafe every single day to the point where they consider you as their friend

they even made you change your lockscreen to the one that they took with you the first day you guys met

but really... who would you choose?

END

[bromosapiens]

How much would you hate me if I told you to do every fuckin' one on that ask meme.

a lot

1) Sexuality? 

if you need to ask you obviously havent spent more than five minutes on my blog

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? 

snoop dogg i think we covered this

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. 

“...de ses plus belles trouvailles. Il semble que certaines réalités...”

4) What do you think about most? 

how fucking insane it is that in america annotating and analysing six essays in the span of an hour constitutes an education

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? 

“like damn”

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? 

mmm usually without cest la vie here in texas

7) What's your strangest talent? 

i can rap all of lose yourself backwards to the tune of the backyardigans theme song

8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence) 

girls are scary and powerfulboys are also scary and powerful but sometimes its hot

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? 

if you count shitass stoned rambles sure

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? 

like yesterday

11) Do you have any strange phobias? 

freezing to death

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? 

sure who doesnt

13) What's your religion? 

im a karkatstian

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? 

in front of it bitchbut back in my photography phase both were applicable because all i took pictures of was myself and likerocks

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? 

crywank rn i just feel em in my soul

18) Do you believe in karma? 

ironically sure but not really

19) What does your URL mean? 

take a wild fucking guess

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? 

my inability to comprehend literally anything; my mario skills

21) Who is your celebrity crush? 

probably darren criss or pete wentz but only because i still have his dick pics saved on my laptop

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? 

hells fucking yes

23) How do you vent your anger? 

ask karkat

24) Do you have a collection of anything? 

swords knives lighters pipes and bandaids with designs on themwhat else do ya need

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? 

on the phone because video chat is just awkward af

26) Are you happy with the person you've become? 

could be better idk

27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? 

nails against a wall; incoherent whispering

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? 

im not so sure about aliens but i can reassure you right now that ghosts are real and they are dicksi have first hand experience

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. 

i almost knocked over my coffee thanks

with my right id have to reach behind me a bit but the side of the futonbelow my left arm is navy

31) Smell the air. What do you smell? 

coffee and sweatwelcome to my home

32) What's the worst place you have ever been to? 

new york city

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast? 

east coast west coast seems really white

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? 

janelle monae

35) To you, what is the meaning of life? 

taco bell dicks out

36) Define Art. 

art: when people do things so that other people can enjoy those things

37) Do you believe in luck? 

i dont really think so nahreminds me of an old friend though

38) What's the weather like right now? 

its kinda chilly actually and clouds are rollin ingood thing im inside and not outside

39) What time is it? 

about 8

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? 

i do and i have but i wasnt the one that crashed iti was in a crash though

41) What was the last book you read? 

the one im reading rn is A l'ombre des jeunes filles en fleurs but its for class so im not sure that counts

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? 

yeah actually

43) Do you have any nicknames? 

avi / asshat / furry / birdfucker / the weird strider / oh him again / god that hurts my eyes / is he okay

44) What was the last movie you saw? 

im pretty sure it was some documentary on bbc

45) What's the worst injury you've ever had? 

uhhhhhhhh i havent really broken any bones or anything but i was stabbed once*multiple timesi was grazed by a bullet once too

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? 

nah i wish

47) Do you have any obsessions right now? 

ive been playing my horse prince

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? 

uhhh i dont think so unless any of yall wanna fess upwell there is the birdfucker thing

50) Do you believe in magic? 

listen do you know who i live with

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? 

not really nookay maybe a bit

52) What is your astrological sign? 

i have no clue im gonna take a wild guess and say sagittarius

53) Do you save money or spend it? 

spend it

54) What's the last thing you purchased? 

...a collar

55) Love or lust? 

why not both

56) In a relationship? 

hells yeah

57) How many relationships have you had? 

five or six i think

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? 

nah i wish

59) Where were you yesterday? 

god that sounds so threateningi was at work

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? 

yeah my fuzzy socks

61) Are you wearing socks right now? 

see above

62) What's your favorite animal? 

birds are rad as hell

64) Where is your best friend? 

in nyc probably at home grading papers or doin homework or smth

65) Spit or swallow?(; 

swallow i aint a fuckin wimp

66) What is your heritage? 

white probablynah uhhh my moms actually half black but bros as white texan as it gets so all i inherited was some vague facial structure and borderline full albinismro got a bit more that i thinkand then roxs dad is black so we dont really look alikei dont know anything past my parents so dont ask

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? 

god do you really have to aski think i was uhtalking to karkat

68) What do you think is Satan's last name? 

strider

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? 

if anyone answers no to this i will be very concerned

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? 

hell yeah life of the party

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? 

im already getting fired save the damn dogif i wasnt though id leave iti aint no hero aight

74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? 

any fucking song from grease

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 

0747 try and guess that one bitch

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? 

god i have no clue this is my first

77) How can I win your heart? 

if you have to ask youve already won it

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? 

i sure hope so cos thats where im headed

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? 

proposing to hex

80) What size shoes do you wear? 

9 1/2

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? 

“cest la vie on this bitch of an earth”

82) What is your favorite word? 

bussy

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. 

aardvark

84) What is a saying you say a lot? 

...cest la vie on this bitch of an earth

85) What's the last song you listened to? 

skateboard p (elijah who)

86) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? 

fuck uhhhhhhhhhhh idk red

87) What is your current desktop picture? 

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? 

derrek j fucking strider

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do? 

“so whos going first”

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? 

probably time travel idk just seems cool

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? 

can we just trim my timeline up to about a year ago

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? 

kevin abstract seems like hed be good in bed tbh

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? 

the bermuda triangle

96) Do you have any relatives in jail? 

i have no clueif dirks in jail no one told me

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? 

sure fucking have

98) Ever been on a plane? 

sure fucking have

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? 

dont fucking waittime runs out

[shonbellenoire]

Online Dating - Quarantine Edition 2020

Not a fan of online dating,  People are always way more interesting and bold online rather in person.  Online makes it too easy.  I prefer the boldness of the approach.  Even still, I found myself 3 years ago falling in love with a man I met online.  I’m not against it but I am saying I prefer the old fashion way.

People always portray themselves differently online.  Using pictures from 10 years ago, not much thought in what is written in the bio and most just want you to follow them on other social media accounts.  Needless to say.....during quarantine I was poppin online. My profile was 3 sentences but it was witty and highlighted my personality.  The niggas ate it the fuck up!! In box on triple full.  Though not optpmistic about the process and not even expecting to do it for a long time, I put up only 2 pics.  One with minimal makeup, the other full on glam.

The Trucker bka Bubba

The first guy to inbox me that I matched with. A northerner, 29 new to the area looking for a thrill.  So damn cute with a full time job.  Ambitious rapper in the making with a lil dental dysfunction but he cute.  We met at a restaurant practicing social distancing,went to the airport and watched plans take off while smoking blunts and listening to his mixtape. Lets just say we met and he friend zoned me. lol 

The 29 yr old too old to know better to young to still be a dumb nigga.

Flashy ass navy vet...well he was a cook on a submarine.  It was all good when we met until he got upset when we talked music. He started playing music from a British rapper whose lyrics were worst than a mumble rapper on a mediocre beat.  I wasn’t impressed and honestly when exposed to dummy shit for too long my head hurts and I get the urge to want to pick up a book.  I was like “Enough is enough please change to an artist who reads books.”, that set him off.  We went from falling in love to instant hate in the matter of minutes.  He screamed and yelled and got into a verbal shouting match about rappers.  I exited immediately.  “I’m out! I’m gonna go read, I’ll leave you with the writer who raps about seasoning a girl like shes chicken.”  The nigga must of thought that line was so cold cuz he said it twice.

The Porn Star

An army vet and personal trainer at the local L.A Fitness.  Recently divorced with 2 daughters old enough to jump me and film it and edit it to upload on Instagram.  I remained on my best behavior to keep from becoming the next Katt Williams even though I was ready to devour him like the chocolate drop he is. 

This barbie plays with G.I Joe

We sent pictures back and forth via text.  He cute and could dress.  Then pictures morphed to videos and to my surprise...they were explicit....or was I surprised.  Snippets of him half naked morphed to butt ass naked. Well ok than fat dick daddy, show me all the goods!  So i asked questions and got a link to a few videos and really got to see what Fat Dick G.I Joe was working with.  Thank you.  So he asked me out but when we met I noticed his body was better in person.  Total body babe.  But....he looked better from a distance or with a hat on.  We went to the drive in, it was his first time.  We attempted to make out, which lead to attempting to ride his face but the damn console was in the damn way of his BMW coupe.  

The Help Desk Customer Service Rep...who thinks hes the smartest in the room and loves to play devils advocate.

My issue is how every conversation got sexual, but he never sent no dick pic or print. Don’t talk about it be about it.  On our first date we went to the park. We discovered a park neither of us have been too.  New to the city from Miami, the chocolate dread head with a rapper name was comfortable around me. Not afraid to reach for my hand nor place his hand around my waist.  However, the good comes with the bad and at times he got too comfortable.  Standing behind me with his dick pressed up on my ass like we posing for a mall photo graph with matching air brush tees.  We don’t go together, fuck is you doin?  Back the fuck up.  Talking to him at times would be just too much.  Asking him about his job got so technical. He gave me the run around but using my context clues, I’ve come to the conclusion that he works remotely as a tech help desk rep.  Needless to say, every convo was either about sex or just overly complicated.  

The Virgo

Successful entrepreneur feeling the pressure of the Chinese virus, the flashy Nigerian  was handsome and well dressed.  Pulled up in a smooth white Mercedes SUV.  Literally called me up and said “Hey! Wyd?  Lets link up.”  Excited, he went on to encourage me to get out the house. “Come on, lets be spontaneous.”  No usually I don’t do this, I require a minimum of 24 hr advance notice,but I wasn’t do a damn thing.  Wine and good convo.  I won’t say we hit off in love but we defiantly had a good time.

My Girl Gotta Girlfriend

......and y the fuck not cuz these niggas ain’t shit.  She cute and got a fat ass.  I’m so inexperienced I wouldn’t know what to do with it but curiosity scissor with 2 fat wet cats.  A married flight attendant and drama nerd.  No kids and 2 incomes....y'all lookin for a third?  “Sure!” she texted back, “If you don’t mind a nerd with a beard.”  Suga moma is that you? Spoil me, please.  “Are you interested in being the third?” Possibly.  

The Poet

Mid 40′s with 3 kids.  Sends poems filled with emojis and giphys like an millennial.  He gets mad if I don’t text him daily.  He wants me to chase him and call him.  Wants me to be all in my feelings over him and i have zero reason to.  He has put the least amount of effort into pursuing m.  He acts like he wants a boyfriend.  He is sensitive, a little 2 sensitive to be the father of 3.  

[blahrutocs]

i redesigned casey and now i kinda ship him w/ sal..... i’ve been Developing him a bit too and this is what ive come up w,

sal and casey would be a cute couple imo.... they'd probably butt heads at first, bc casey butts heads with Everyone at first by nature, and he's really argumentative naturally whereas sal is kind of Nervous around new people, but like... sal can find the good in anyone, which is somethin' i think casey would need, because he's not good at expressing the good in himself!!then they probably found some middle ground......... sal has a very calming presence, i think, he's a very Sweet person and people like being around him a lot........ but he'd definitely be someone who wouldn't judge him or say anything cruel, he always puts a lot of time and consideration into the people around him and i think that'd be something very good for my boy, cause then he could also just....Develop a good and nice friendship with sal!! they probably became real close real quick and it....confused everyone, i bet!! casey probably gets frustrated sal doesn't tend to Value himself as much as he should and doesn't really stand up for himself. i feel like casey is.....Very Open about finding Sal attractive but just not in front of sal, like he's casually just like "hey, how is that man single when he looks like a literal god, jw. askin for a friend" and everyone in the groups like..........hey man do u wanna date sal? kinda sounds like you wanna date sal,

Casey is secretive to No One, except for Sal...................whenever Sal is around he clams up! He ain't gonna say nothing gay in front of that boy (who he would totally smooch if he offered tbh) i picture casey being like, that one kid w/ no friends who watches anime and decides he's gonna learn japanese........

Casey draws Anime in his sketch book which he shows to no one except friends, and also hates being asked to draw someone because he thinks its totally uncool (he'd probably draw sal if he asked though) he's probably pretty good by now since.......Not havin friends gives you time to work on stuff!! I think he'd be interested in animation to some extent, too!! casey is also a photographer and has a degree in filmaking....I Imagine him RLY wanting to take pics of sal but being too shy to ask, also he puts timers so he doesn't like sal's selfies too quickly bc he Doesn't Want to Look TOO gay. he probably flirts with sal a bit but makes sure it's mild and sounds like a joke!! sal has.......No Idea, honestly, he's just like.....Totally clueless to it, I mostly picture sal as having........ Self esteem Resembling a rollercoaster and sometimes he'll be like "YES I AM GOOD AND PEOPLE LIKE ME" other times he's like "me? i am a garbage rat and i come from the sewers, my truest home," so has a hard time really Believing people like him, For Some Reason, casey probably lowkey wants to confess but doesn't know how, he's also probably mildly terrified he's gonna make sal uncomfortable bc he really values the friendship and.....Doesnt wanna Gay It Up if it's not needed,  i kind of think casey's probably had a few friendships that...........Didn't pan out, bc they found out he was gay and got very Weird about it, and he probably tries to......Not Replicate that, despite sal being Very considerate..... he singlehandedly organized a gsa in highschool and then also planned their Queer Prom almost Completely by himself...........  he's like, the last person in the world who would be unkind to casey about something like that!! 

  Casey is just a nervous boy who often worries about being Accepted, even by other Very Gay folks...........he's probably a lil nervous about like, intimacy and stuff. doesn't like being touched without being explictly asked.......

he had a casual relationship with riley but riley is.............Very chill, so i think it wouldn't be too unpleasant for him.............. casey probably doesn't like not being the one in control though!! it works out bc sal is kind of uncomfy w/ sex in general and demisexual......... he's not adverse to it but it does make hm nervous!!   

he animates sometimes in his freetime, i think, he has.......Lots of free time, lbr, his  parents are both like...... Doctors, so he doesn't worry that much about Money or anything! and tries to fill his spare time with...... Whatever, really, he pobably has a few weird skills he never talks about,

mitch was probably casey's first real friend... he and riley didn't know eachother very well by the time riley dropped out, but he and mitch both stayed and finished college, so they probably became pretty good friends!! mitch stayed in touch with riley, so by extension so did casey. otherwise casey probably would've been too insecure to put any effort into the connection.

he’s kind of typically “flamboyant.” snarky. will not take any shit. he’s a photographer, he has a degree in filmmaking and enjoys it a lot. very secretive, doesn’t really share any personal details with people. pretty judgemental. will comment on your outfit if he thinks it’s bad or like… straight up laugh at your opinion sometimes. he can win arguments but……Often Unintentionally hurts feelings doin so!!

he secretly likes people more than he lets on he’s just….Super bad at socializing because he’s like inherently argumentative and cant turn it off. he was also not a popular kid, he moved to a new town and was really chubby  and people were just… not nice to him. he was v self conscious ab it!! hes Very New to friendships!! his first real friend was when he was an adult already.  he’s got a lot of softness inside of him!! 

OTHER FACTS...........

*casey self harms, he’s not proud of it but doesn’t hide it either.......

*he’s been diagnosed w/ adhd and anxiety but...... Does Not Believe He has either of those things

*constantly on the defense

*doesn’t have a good relationship w/ his parents but..........Doesn’t really bother fighting w/ them, they’re not the nicest but he just.Gnuinely doesnt care anymore.

* he and sanchez dont have the best relationship,casey’s theory is its bc he used to be fwbs with riley and Was Not at all subtle about it but like…. when he first meets sanchez he comments how he thought he’d be taller, and then immediately follows it up with “Btw, i fucked your bf.”

i’ll add more to this later................. also if anyone read this whole thing what would be a good ship name for them cause i got,.......No clue

[inexcon]

RSI Comm-Link: The Knowledge of Good and Evil: Part Two

Writer’s Note: The Knowledge of Good and Evil: Part Two was published originally in Jump Point 2.10. You can read Part One here.

“I know right. Debt ‘s debt.” Eve’ rat know that.

She stop cold. “You think that you are incurring a debt by staying here?”

“Ain’ I? Wha’ I’m suppose think? An I see one an’ ‘m null gon’ jus’ be here an’ . . . null tha’ . . . I won’ be your slave!” Start lookin for way out tha hall ta secure.

I stop cause Mom Super raise her hand. Slow like. Like she do ta quiet tha meal hall ‘fore meal. Hadn’ expected her ta be calm like tha’.

“If I gave a way to repay your debt, would you stay?”

Mom Super got wha’ she talk. Work got, ‘nough ta pay debt. Off some, an’ diff from Bazaar, lock tha’. Bes’ deal ‘m got ta stay with tha Sisters. Rules some, bu’ null like Blues or Bazaar Bosses got. ‘bout now ‘m start figure tha Sisters weren’ part tha Gov. If they’s Gov them give H-kit, like tha Gov.

Problem that. Big got problem when rat got no Hygiene. H-kit got thing like razor. Razor ta shave my head with. Razor I need an don’ have. Head gone ta fuzz a’ready. Tha’ mean ‘lot on streets. Mean rat got i’ in ‘em to go ‘gainst rhyme an’ honor. Mean might give up on tryin’. Creepers and slavers watch ta pounce on fuzz heads.

Walk out tha room an’ rage some ta Mom Super ta get razor. Mom Super ‘most yelled back. ‘fore ran off back ta my room.

‘magined her comin’ through tha door an chokin’ me. I seen creeper do tha’ once.

Mom Super got ask me straight later, “What would you do with a razor young one? Why do you need it so?”

Sisters an’ Mom Super don’ have null clue. I’m hoarse from yelling an wound tight. A’most missed tha ask.

“Wha’ ’m do?! Shave my damn head! Wha’ tha hell else Craz Oldie? Wha’ else i’ good for do with? You know how tha creepers like ‘em?”

“Your hair is a danger to you?” Mom Super ask.

“Hair too long an’ you be gone. Don’ sleep flat for creeps ta get at. Eat food paste or you waste. Know tha rhymes live long times. Stick ta’gether in bad weather. Hoardin’ creds will get you dead.”

Mom Super look ‘round at tha other three Sisters in tha door ta my room. One them reach in bag an’ pull out one sealed H-kit like tha kind I got from tha dispenser once month. Mom Super take i’ an’ hold i’ out ta me.

Snatch i’ null lookin’ at her an’ I head ta corner tha room an’ reflec on tha wall. Big reflec but I don’ need much an sit on floor. Back ta tha door but can see ‘em in the reflec. Them watchin’ as shave tha head fuzz quick like rats got do. Sisters standin’ in tha door outbound one-an-one til only Mom Super left.

“It’s a sad thing to see.” Mom Super say soft. “Red hair is very rare.”

Finish las’ pull move a’fore her sayin’ sunk in.

Turn an’ look at her. “Is?”

“Yes. Very.”

I don’ know, but tha’ look Mom Super got shake me cold for days.

* * *

Interestin’ now tha’ some Sisters would come an’ ask me if could fix some for ‘em. Each nex’ got harder thin’ ta fix. Sometime it some basic an’ big. Sometime it some complex an’ small. Air mover ta some bedrooms stopped. Solenoid switch on machine gone bad. Malfunct ligh’ in tha hallway. Sometimes, mobiGlas like tha kind spacer use. Other time some buggy engine. Eve’ time it got be some’ I neve’ seen or neve’ fix b‘fore. I think ta ‘self tha’ Sisters didn’ know tha’. ‘m learn them tech an’ gear while ‘m work.

Still ain’ got lock on angle Sister play ta. Got think ‘bout Bosses or creepers or slavers workin’ on some rat like. ‘magination come up with like wha’ ‘m hear on street ‘round Bazaar. Ain’ EZ ta stay smart ‘nough ta null trus’ thin’ tha’ sound like street gossip. Eve comin’ from me.

Got parts an’ gear ta fix for days when Mom Super show up a’ my shop.

“Follow me.” She say. Turnin’ she lead me down tha hall an’ back ta main floor and started headin’ ta big door ‘m null got through yet. “Your choice to remain here is a bold one, and you have proven good on your word and not tried to leave again. I believe we should make a gesture of good faith in return.”

Reached tha door. Aft’ she look ove’ her shoulder a’ me she press hand ta tha door release. Pressure seal door slide back an out. Sisters coat norm block view ‘fore I got glint. This time Mom Super step back an’ ‘most push me in.

Light ‘m step into blind me some.

Null tha’ bright jus’ more ligh’ than tha hallway. ‘m look a tha floor. Dark metal like tha hall but cleaner. Null dus’. None jus’ cleaner eve’ thin’ clean. New? ‘bout when ‘m think tha’ my eyes a’just ta light an’ ‘m look up.

‘m couldn’ breath.

Three high a stack rows tall. Leas’ ten meters. Rows wide an’ so long can’ see ’tha end from tha door. Them got books like ‘m in pics. Neve’ see real ‘fore. Oldie info that. VID term, an’ storage media a more types than ‘m know. Figures how some Sisters spend days in here.

Jump some when Mom Super say some an’ break tha quiet.

“You can come in here at any time you’d like, young one. This Library is our most holy place, but the freedom to access knowledge is equally sacred to us. We have been remiss to keep this from you. We have all sorts of information here. What is kept in the Holy Vault is only for members of the Order under seal of the confessional, but all else is yours to explore. The door will now open for you and the Sisters are always willing to help if you need anything.”

“Won’ do much good ta me lady. Can’ read none.”

How come eve’ time Mom Super smile ta me like that an’ I say some she got cry?

She daz like got hit hard, “That’s . . . I had assumed . . . with your skills, I mean. We will have to . . . um . . . How foolish of me.”

Mom Super stared me like. Like ‘m ghos’ or some. She drop her head an’ say some ‘m null hear. When she look ta me ‘gain got look like she ragin’ ‘hind her eyes. Lady move from tha door an’ point ta hallway. She lead though ‘m couldn’ tell where we goin’.

Thought I know tha whole Hall by now bu’ Mom Super stop fron’ door I neve’ been ta. She open i’ an’ make like ‘m suppose ta go in. Small. Got desk an’ VID screen on tha wall. Maybe half size my room.

Mom Super walk ta screen an’ press button ‘n tha side. Flash an’ then i’ come on. Aft’ few boot screens, comp vid Human walk from tha side like ‘em come in ta room like real person do. Got see move top tha screen. Cam doin’ sweep tha place. Done lock on us.

“I’ve brought you a new student.” Mom Super say. ‘most hide her anger.

“Wha’ Lady got ta be rage ‘bout?” ‘m think. “Tha’ her didn’ know ‘m null read?”

Vid screen Lady star’ gabbin’, “A student. One to be taught. Very good. Where shall I begin?”

“The beginning.” Mom Super say.

“Well and good. And you are the pupil?”

Cam move jus’ ‘nough ta know lock on jus’ me now.

‘m look ta Mom Super an’ she jus’ lookin back ta me. Wet eyes some. Figure tha’ ‘m got ta answer.

‘m mos’ cold ta bone. School dead danger ta street rat. Gov Schools free bu’ you spend any ticks there an’ wouldn’ make ‘nough. Some rats starve cause ‘em null make deals.

Know ‘nough ta got numbers. Know ‘nough ta speak straight an’ crook. Know ‘nough ta fix gear. School learned? Like Up folk? Like my cot?

“Sure.” All ‘m think ta say.

Screen prog stat gab ‘gain, “Please sit student, we are about to begin.”

“The program will teach you if you choose to learn from it. It can go as fast or slow as you need. You may consider this part of your work for us as well.”

Tha’ las’ from Mom Super an’ she outbound.

Wha’ got Mom Super raged? An’ ‘m got ta listen ta comp prog? Hell. Teach prog got ta work righ’ then. Null got time ta think ‘bout danger a learnin’ too much. ‘m got new work from tha lady. I neve’ work like this in my life.

* * *

Found new kind of hunger in tha’ room. Sit in tha’ classroom for long stretches. Only leave ta eat or relieve myself. I spend hours more a day there than had ta.

I realize I been starved for information when I’m given more than I can handle but not as much as I want. I’m addict ta it and the drug is free. Learning is no debt. Maybe that why the bosses on the street don’t want rats ta get it. Teach program pushes me hard. It keep lessons comin’ as fast as I complete ‘em.

“High Impact Learning” what teach prog call it. Cumulative points, none percentages. Almost neve’ have to hear lectures. Everything a conversation.

English, Grammar, Ancient Earth History, Math, Biology, Psychology, Sex Ed, Mechanics, Social Studies, Interstellar Commerce, and Physical Activities all covered. Standard Ed for UEE. Even know what the UEE is now.

80 to 90 hours a week I work on my school. Would spend more if I didn’t need to eat an’ sleep so much. An’ Sisters still wan’ me ta fix gear. Got hard time ‘tween fix gear like ‘m good at an’ wan’ ta learn book work. Book work start ta win that. I write essays, I listen ta books, I track my health for PE. I even start going back into the library to read books for school.

So much time passes without my realizing.

Got back to the room one night and see myself in the mirror. I stare into it for almost an hour. I been missing the inches I’m growing up and hair I’m growing out. Shit.

It makes the girl looking back at me in the mirror even look like a girl. She looks like me, except with hair and tits. At first I’m scared to notice.

Tits are still small enough they’ll be easy to hide, but I have hair. Does hair mean what the street says it means? Hell, if I can keep street learning from mixing with book learning now. The impulse to shave it off in haste and fear grips me hard. I almost do it. Almost.

Instead, I dare myself to leave it. That seems to work. I dig through my hygiene kit for the comb I never use. I watch fixated as I pull the comb through my hair and feel the tug against my scalp. I’ve been moving it out of my eyes for how long? Crap. I null know. Been dealing with it but always absentmindedly. Never looking in the mirror. I look in the H-kit again and see the razor. Still in its wrapping. Back in the mirror I catch someone that looks like I’m supposed to but different. She has red hair. Touching it is like touching danger itself. It’s part of me. Maybe it’s a warning to the world that I’m more dangerous now.

I fall asleep to the feeling of hair on my neck. It’s warm. They never tell you about that part on the street. They don’t tell you a lot.

Education Levels pass by. I start out at level 3. Don’t even count the months. Day comes, night comes. Frustration and anger. Success and wonder. Don’t care much about how long it takes, the information is what matters. By the time I get to level 10 work, I’m doing the good stuff like tech.

Days do get long though. The Sisters spend most of their time in the Library. If too many of them are in the Library at one time the halls start to feel dead. That pulls me there. The library is the only place in the Hall that feels alive sometimes. Once I started to read some, I started going there and found that books can be alive all on their own. Sometimes the books even have people in them. Some alive. Some dead. Some real, others not. I get to watch those characters live, play, fight and win. The second time I close a book hiding tears, Mom Super catches me.

“You should take a break from the tragedies for a while I think, young one. You might try these for a spell,” she said leading me to a bookcase I hadn’t randomly selected for raiding yet. “They are not as intense but may be to your interests.”

She may be strange sometimes, but she can read me easy enough.

I look on the shelf she’s led me to and only see some old storage drives. They look ancient. “I don’t want to break them.”

“You won’t, dear, they are quite sturdy.”

With Mom Super’s blessing I take one down and over to the nearest terminal. Takes me a second to figure out the connectors and boot sequence for the thing. Old, like most things around here. I get it working and open the primary file. On it are technical manuals for COMM Tech and COMP Tech for a ship I’ve never heard of. Even ship drive schematics from only a hundred years ago. Tear down instructions, maintenance schedules, even revisioning logs from one version of a thing to the next explaining what changed and why.

Everything a spacer might want to know about her ship.

I’m still a gear rat, just with more skills now. It’s not tech to take apart, but I’ve been creating universes in my head for the books I read. I know I can do the same for this tech. That and all the tech jobs for the Sisters. I know how to fix a dead VID terminal from a hundred years ago, and I know how to imagine an’ make things real.

So I study. As I do, more technical data, notes wit helpful hints for using the terminal, even meals all start showing up at my new hermitage at the terminal in the Library. It’s infuriating. Who? What do I owe them? It’s touching. It’s dangerous not to know who I owe what, but I accept it all the same because I have a plan now. Anything that helps is worth taking. When I get out of here, I wont be just a gear rat. I’ll be a pilot.

On my own SHIP.

* * *

One day word comes that one of “our ships” has just entered the system and is returning. It takes me a second to remember that this isn’t a plot from a novel.

“We have ships?” I ask the Sister. “And that word is plural. The Sisters have more than one ship?”

I don’t get an answer, but she tells me that everyone is assembling in the entry hall. Normally, it’s a common side hallway. I’ve never seen anyone enter or leave as long as I’ve been here. It barely registers that the door is there as I join the Sisters in waiting.

Standing among so many people all in one place starts making me uncomfortable. I realize that I’m more used to being alone now. We all stand with the foremost in a semicircle facing the door. I make my way to the front to be near Mom Super. The Sisters close around us making sure not to give me a straight path out the only exit to the place. The door opens inwardly like it did that night years ago. Years. I shiver thinking about it.

A lone figure is standing outlined by dust and setting sunlight in the shadow being cast by something tall outside. A full face helmet covers her head and the rest of her is covered by a space suit. A sleek, black, beautiful, and expensive suit. I immediately try to take inventory of the suit and its status lights. It’s the gear rat in me still looking for something to fix and charge her for. Or maybe I just want one like it.

As my eyes try desperately to make out the suit better, I realize she’s carrying two metal cases. Each about one meter long and half a meter tall. They aren’t very thick, but they are obviously very important by the size of the locks on them.

She steps forward to meet Mom Super and puts down the cases beside herself as they come to a stop in front of one another. The door closes behind the newcomer and, once shut, she removes the helmet.

Long dark hair fall past the shoulders of a young looking woman with tired, teary eyes. As the normal dusk light settles in the hallway, she speaks.

“Mother Superior! I have returned in honor to my Oath, in honor to our order, and freely of my own choice. I bring the knowledge collected on my pilgrimage. Twice copied for us and again two more for our sisters of the other Hall. I return to my sisters the ship given me, the money given me plus a great sum more, and I return myself in hopes of peace and understanding among my sisters.”

The last words echo off the high walls and fall silent. Mom Super just steps forward and hugs the woman. Others attend to the cases. One case heads toward the meal hall. The other, handed to a Sister who heads to the library. As it opens to allow her and the second case in, I see her turn and head toward the Holy Vault, but the door closes before I can see how she gets in.

Other Sisters in the hall start talking about the new woman and calling her the Returned.

The Returned and Mom Super walk toward the meal hall together. It’s too early for dinner, but everyone is following them, so I do too. I catch more conversation about “the sacrament” as we fill the benches. The short table with five stools that normally sits empty next to the Mom Super now has the Returned at it with the case in front of her. She stands and bows slightly, first to Mom Super and then to the room of Sisters.

I think, “Since when do the Sisters bow?”

They’re a religious order, sure, but they aren’t like the Xeno Cults or Tech Worshipers. I always thought they used the religious angle so they’d be left alone.

The Returned unlocks the case with some sort of code, a key, and then a voice print. She opens it and reveals 20 blocks that look like data drives.

Mom Super Calls out, “The Holy Sacrament of New Knowledge.”

The Sisters all reply as one, “Thanks be to God.”

Each Sister produces a mobiGlas from their pocket and puts it on. I’ve seen some of these models before, worked on them. I haven’t seen so much tech gear in one place in years. It’s like watching flowers bloom as each one winks on.

Someone touches me. I jump.

I’m just on edge is all. This is a lot to take in. A Sister I don’t recognize had done it. Her newly revealed mobiGlas is running a boot sequence as she points to the front of the room. Mom Super, calling me over.

I approach Mom Super, and she begins to smile. Never a good sign. Things go craz when Lady does that. She reaches out a hand to me, “Take it young friend. We would not keep this moment from you.”

“What?”

She laughs a little.

“We’re going to share access to the information the Returned has brought us,” she says. “You may search for whatever you like, however you like. We ask only that you share what you find interesting. Just follow the lead of the Sisters. It has been some time since we had a guest present for the sacrament, but it is allowed.”

A weight falls into my outstretched hand. I know what I dream it to be, but what it can’t be.

“This is yours, young one. A testament to your hard studies that have made even the Sisters envious of your diligence.”

A slim black and blue case rests in my hands. Careful inspection shows no maker’s mark or logos. I open it like the treasure chest I know it is.

A mobiGlas. Top of the line model with a blue crystal scrawl along the side. The world starts to go fuzzy.

None. That danger. No! ‘m null cry! If I cry ‘m weak an’ tha ‘thers will . . . I look around through my tears. I see smiling Sisters with whom I have always been safe. Will always be safe. I still can’t let myself. I choke back the tears and look Mom Super in the face. Unable to meet her eyes fully.

“Uh, thanks,” is all I get out past the tightness of my throat. I turn and bolt to my seat; desperately not wanting to be the center of attention anymore.

The same Sister who nudged me earlier whispers that they will wait till I’m ready.

Sheer panic.

I fumble with the mobiGlas and finally get it turned on. In a moment a blinking cursor presents itself on the screen. Ready.

I look at Mom Super, out of breath. She nods.

Suddenly, I feel cold in the vastness of the information I have access to. So much; more than I could learn in a hundred lifetimes.

It takes hours listening to this or that thing a Sister finds or just pushing through one set of data or another. The hardwood benches normally don’t bother me, but four hours of economic reports, social news and statistics is a bit long to just sit around with my legs falling asleep. Mom Super got up then and dismissed us. Before I duck out to my room with my new prize, she calls me over.

Mom Super sets her face hard. Formal. I get a knot in my stomach just recognizing the look of it. “The advent of the Returned brings with it an authority second only to my own. Upon this authority, a proposal of change may be brought to the Sisters.”

Seems like Sister business. I stay out of that stuff. Old habit not to get tangled, that.

“It may not seem so in your situation, dear, but freedom is paramount to us. Free will and the right to choose are more important than choosing the right or moral thing.” she explained. “The information we gather empowers the choices we make. We even share our knowledge or collect private information at times. We choose what we share and what we do very carefully.”

“Even my speaking at your trial was a choice, young one.”

My heart skips a beat at that. We’ve never discussed that day or why I’m here. It’s an unspoken understanding. She doesn’t give answers to the questions I pretend I don’t have. Her eyes are holding back a sadness covered by a smile.

“I made my choice to interfere and bring you here. It upset many of the Sisters, but your being here has convinced the others of an ugly truth many of them do not want to learn.”

I try to look casual as one of my legs threatens to fall asleep again. “What’s that?” I ask, fearing the problem I know now I cause. Tha problem tha’ I am.

“That we have failed the people of this and other planets. That we are called to teach as well as learn. That our Order must teach the children of the streets, advocating for them as they themselves cannot. We must use what we learn and are told to help empower our fellow Humans.”

“Them can’ be taught Mom Super! What I mean is— that street rats teach each other that knowing too much is bad and will get you killed. They’re so scared, everyone believes the rhymes. Hell, there are even rhymes about not questioning the rhymes. And . . .”

She puts up her hand to stop me.

“Which is the sort of thing this Order does not know or understand fully, but you do.”

She takes a deep breath.

“I never intended to make you the focus of this effort of mine to reform the Order, but you have such unique gifts . . .”

Old Lady stops and stares at me. Her sadness is gone and something more like power burns in her eyes now.

“Will you help us create schools for these children?”

Rage, anger, joy, fear, panic, scheming, dread, hope and shock run through me as I consider what Mom Super just dropped in my lap.

“The choice is sacred. We, I, will think nothing different of you no matter your answer.”

Minutes pass and my mind races. Eventually two thoughts rise to the top of the internal chaos: Mom Super needs my help and if the rats learn the power of information, the street won’t own them anymore. They will have power like I never did. Maybe even like I have now.

An anger and a determination like I’ve never known rises in me and my skin bristles. I can pay my debt to the street, my debt to the Sisters, and the debt of every rat from Bazaar to Backtrack.

‘Unique gifts’ is what she called them. Yeah, those I’ve got. A sly grin spreads across my face.

I look Mom Super in the eye and recognize what’s in her eyes now because I feel it too.

“When do we start?”

* * *

I once thought getting to leave again would be a big deal to me, but it’s not. I never felt trapped at the convent. Well, not after I learned to read, anyway. The world makes more sense now, but it isn’t any different after reading about it.

Maybe that’s what happened to the Sisters. They started living in the Library too much, and Mom Super is trying to get them back into the real world.

We work out when and where the first ‘Street School’ day will be. Two Sisters and I gather in the entry hall to take the rail to Bazaar Street. I wear one of the Habit coats to try my best to blend in with the Sisters. The area around the convent isn’t luxury, but it’s not slums either. I see a Blue on the rail and flinch as he gives up his seat for one of the Sisters, like we’re important or something. Strange feelings creep on me the rest of the rail ride. By the time we get there I want off the rail car so much I almost miss how the Bazaar has changed.

The Sisters look to me and I take the hint: I’m supposed to lead them. I start for Work Row. Rats gather in Work Row when they are on hard times or young and looking to become Gear Rats. It’s just a bigger than normal alley, but it serves well enough. Lots of exits for it too. The way rats like it. The way looks different now that I’m taller, but I get us there without any wrong turns.

Seven or eight kids are sitting on ledges and crates. I turn to the Sisters and nod. They nod back, and we move to an area near the middle of the groups where one wall is mostly empty. One Sister pulls out a small projector and places it on the ground. The other moves next to her and connects her mobiGlas. Some of the rats move closer, curious about the tech. They scatter back as I move next to the projection on the wall and pull back my hood.

“We would like to teach you all whatever you want to know,” I say and try to look at as many of them as possible.

One of the older ones speaks up. “Ja Lady? An’ wha’ make think you gots some us rats wan’? An’ wha’ i’ cos’ us? Fancy Up tech you got ain’ free. Lock tha’. I Checked.”

A joke and challenge. What will it cost? How do I say it won’t cost them anything? Free translates to gullible. Why didn’t I think about this before now? I have to answer fast or they might all spook and leave.

“Because . . . ‘cause rat like you ain’ got wha’ we got teach. Know tha’ lock ‘cause ‘m was rat an’ Sisters taught me more than any rhyme. Null cos’. None debt. All i’ takes is time.” It’s hard to try and force what used to come so naturally to me and what I say is a poor combination of the slang and proper speech, but it might work.

The children look around to each other. I think I caught them more off-guard by how I said it then what I said.

“Tha’ craz. You some oldie rat?” A young one says next.

They’re talking! Don’t blow this.

“Oldie rat? Sure. Craz? None that. What you wan’ a know small-y?”

The young one that spoke goes and comes back with someone else, another child that looked sickly. The sickly one showed a lump on his skin.

“Wha’ tha’ oldie?”

It looked like a cyst or rash maybe, but it could be something worse. Shit. “Tha’ bad some. Gots go ta medics, but null do ‘t here. Bazaar Medics got ta pay off bosses. Ride rail three stop and go ta tha medic down the street ta left. Same like got here. Treat you free like medics here are s’pposed. Somethin’ obvious like this them got ta take in and go on it. Lock truth, that.”

I try to give the sick one my rail pass. The other one shoves it away.

“We got creds ‘nough ta ride rails. Sure them gots ta go on it if we shows up, eve’ we rats?”

“Yes. Them gots ta work it. Lock sure.”

The eyes of the whole group judge me and my words for what feels like eternity. Finally the two depart, and the rest of our class stare at them as they go.

The old one pipes up again,”Wha’ else you got ta learn us rats Sister?”

Acceptance? At least for now. I paid our entry fee by helping those two. They’ll let us try. I choke back a memory as I wonder if I would have ever let the Sisters teach me if I’d still been on the street. We got some brave ones.

“Wha’ you want ta know?” I say through a smile.

* * *

Now, I leave the convent with a group of Sisters every week. Some street children, we don’t call them rats, have even made it a part of their routine to show up to school. Not every time of course; being too predictable can get you killed on the street. Some never come back again. Each time that happens, I have nightmares until I see one that has been missing for weeks return again. Never show my relief for fear of scaring them off by singling them out. Street children don’t use names, and even being recognizable is dangerous. Blending into the group protects everyone. I had to stop some Sisters who were developing nicknames and assigning numbers to the kids to track lessons. It would ruin everything if the kids knew they were being tracked with a name or number.

“Is that why you don’t have a name?” One of them asks me.

Direct dmg, that.

I try to recover but my shock was already apparent. I’ve never thought about that before.

“I don’t know,” is the best I can come up with. Then I change the topic back to school things.

To call it school is a bit of a stretch. The Sisters and I meet in a wide alley with some street children. We tried to start with basic language skills, but these kids are too practical for that. The teaching program I used is too rigid for them. The Children want information they can apply right away. So we just teach them what they want to learn or what we think might interest them: their legal rights if they get arrested. The going price for a part on the legitimate market. How to get a free rail pass or medic check. The way to count change and write numbers. The sort of thing a street child can use right now or use to get ahead. It seems to be working. They seem to like it more and are bringing others with them if they come.

The rhymes are the biggest obstacle to our efforts. When I was on the street I couldn’t go a day without one of them saving my life or helping me get by. All the street kids are going through the same sort of life that I had. Now an ‘Oldie Rat’ like me is asking them to forget what some of the rhymes say or even go against them? Sometimes, I hate myself, thinking it might get them hurt or killed.

Mom Super was right about needing my unique gifts too. Street slang is thick and almost incomprehensible to most of the Sisters. Sometimes I’m translating both directions. I’ve started teaching it to the more adventurous Sisters, but it’s slow and frustrating.

I don’t know how it happened, but one evening while working with a new child, teaching him about staying clean, I look up and all the other Sisters have left. We all tend to come as a group and leave as the day goes on. I’m one of the last most days, but I’ve never been alone. I didn’ know why bu’ that got me scared some.

When the lesson was finally done, I put the hood up on my coat and begin walking to the rail station. I’ve got this uneasy feeling, and I start to walk more quickly. I hear a sudden burst of noise to my left and turn my head to look at it, but the hood blocks my view. The verge of panic comes, and I move even faster. The train is there but as I approach the doors close and it pulls away. The next won’t be for 20 minutes.

I gasp for breath as I lean against the ticket kiosk.

What the hell? What am I afraid of? Walking around alone? My mind is just clear enough now to be angry at myself. At least one Street child must have seen my panic and will ask about it next week. Maybe it will even scare some away for a while. Am I really this stupid?

That thought carries me through the next few minutes. The sun is setting, but I try to relax as I wait.

Then someone walks up to me.

“Oh, you ‘lone, Sister? Ain’ i’ late?” the man says.

Strangers don’t just walk up to you in Bazaar Street.

“Or ‘hapse you ain’ Sister. Null tha’. is i’ rat. Yeah. Gear rat. Street rat eve’.” The man had taken another few steps towards me and stopped again when I backed away.

What did he say? All the panic of minutes ago shoots back into my mind and stiffens my spine. I don’ eve’ got a slag.

I turn to look at the man for the first time. He’s rough and poor looking, but better dressed than I’d expected. He is shaved but unremarkable. I see the shadow of a face I remember well.

Boss Dirk.

“Ya remember me? Got. I remember you, Rat. I remember that you owe me.”

TO BE CONTINUED…

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