#what am i even saying?
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Ancap n commie is so hard to talk about. What do i say. That theyre wholly opposite and everything the other stand against? That they know each other so well and deeply? That commie will always express out loud how clearly he knows ancap like the back of his hand, and ancap will never say it out loud, but instead use it silently to his advantage? That theyre petty stupid bitches that will do shit to each other as long as its convenient to them? That they depend on each other and no one talk about it and will never ever ever express it out loud, but their inherent flaws means they need each other to continue existing? Whatever, perhaps it doesn't matter. When you're a monster that is intoxicated by the thing that you stand to oppose at every turn.
#centalks#Tempted to just tag this as centricide not gonna lie#Commie is fun hes really complex#that old man is always thinking so hard#so many turmoils#while ancap is like “how do i use this guy for as much money as possible while also annoying the shit out of him”#ancap does have weird feelings for tha guy but he doesn’t really pay thought to it#doesn't bring him money so#but he always has this nagging thought#of like#somehow convincing commie#somehow winning commie over to make capital#even if it goes against everything commie stands for#like in that commie get into the stock market vid#using commie’s traits against him to try and convince commie into his side#theyre in a weird sort of tango#wanting to kill each other but also want to prove each other flaws and stupidity and also needing each other to go on because of their own#when they look at each other the hatred is so familiar they start moving past it#like your taste buds getting used to the bitterness of food to get to other taste#saltiness.sourness.#what am i even saying?#they fuck each other in the ass okay?#typical commie’s mental turmoil and typical ancap’s manipulative opportunistic behaviours
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There's a whole pecking order. It goes Chris Nolan -> Cillian Murphy -> Tom Hardy -> the girl reading this.
Ah, stop! Murphy would be chained to a bed with Nolan and Hardy taking it in turns to torture him to orgasm in some way... Although I think Hardy would give some lovely aftercare, I reckon Nolan would be too busy rushing off to masturbate over the images of total dominance over poor wee Murphy!
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#thinks they own everything rare -> diamond spike#WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING?#aren’t those rare now actually. idk
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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i feel like who i am is a curse. i don’t know why or how i feel this way, it keeps me up at night. i sit for hours thinking and thinking for a better reason to live or something to make up for the lost cause that i am.
it feels kind of haunting — but it goes deeper than that, beneath the flesh, like tons of hidden secrets all enveloped inside, ready to be plucked apart like perfect impurities, each more surprising and saddening than the last.
like a book you open but fail to finish, you turn every page and it leaves you more empty and filled with dread, not wanting to complete the tale. something you leave behind at a party or at a friend’s house, something you easily forget about. a sweet smell surrounding you, like perfume, but you can’t rid yourself of the scent.
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me pretending to be the writer/director of a film right now
I wrote such a good script and have the best idea ever for it to be like this show/movie all i need is actors now and film it... should i ask my school friends? Only problem, it's a romance. They might find it cringe. NOW WHAT DO I DO😭😭
#dont mind me#just rambling about random stuff#about my miserable life#not that miserable#but kind of boring#i want more excitement#more adventure#more drama#but a happy ending#no angst#i mean theres no way thats possible#so maybe a bit of angst#loll#what am i even saying?#im gonna go#yes im mad#i think#the exams did something to the remaining braincells i had#ive lost my sanity#yayy
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Hero.
#legend of zelda#echoes of wisdom#loz eow#loz#zelda#tri#josh art tag#been meaning to do a full on stained glass drawing for like 2 years now lol#ive had ideas but none really stuck with me until this one#and the reason why is cuz this one was more of a scene! it wasnt just a normal drawing made to look like stained glass#it had what is supposed to be a literal window with someone standing before it looking up at it#also i find the timing of this drawing funny#cuz i just recently changed my shading style to resemble stained glass even more so than usual#cuz for years now ive gottem comments saying#my style reminds people of stained glass#and sometimes i see it sometimes i dont#cuz my shading style changes and sometimes it really did look glass like#but other times i dont think it did?? but i still got those comments??#maybe its like the way i do lineart or block out shapes?#idk but recently when i was growing tired of my previous coloring style i remembered those comments#and decided to lean into it#but now just a little while after that#here i am doing a legit stained glass illustration lol
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I wish we could have met in some other way.
Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates
If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3
Still frames/Individual gifs:
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If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way
#death note#dn#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#oh god here we go#death note jdrama#death note 2015#death note 2006#death note musical#lctw#l change the world#dntm#lawlightweek2024#my art#collapses i am NEVER putting this much effort in one piece ever again /hj this was the Only one i had mostly prepared in advance#ironically the most painstaking part about making this entire thing was converting the images into an animated file#that wasn't either horrifically compressed or just. wouldn't loop. why do gifs have to look so BAD it's so inconvenient#and THEN i realized I had to forcibly Stitch the two animations together so they would actually be synced and it wouldn't look dumb#and the end result is STILL so compressed. because Tumblr. uhhh just don't click on it it'll look so scuffed LOL. anyways#this is what i get for watching Every Adaptation of Death Note. i am a death note multiverse truther#usually i'd have something clever to say in the tags but. this drained the life out of me just uh.#yeah. they're doomed in every universe. this is the only way they could've met. they are doomed by their own natures and the#circumstances that surround them. there is no universe where light tries to prevent L's death. and even in the cases where L Doesn't die#there is no universe where L can save light. there is no universe where he can truly “catch” Kira and make him see where he went wrong#(<- if you read LCTW you know. :) )#in every universe and adaptation L will call Light his first friend. in some universes they'll take that notion more seriously than others#no matter what one of them will die due to the other. its the only constant. it's the only way it can ever be. they are the others downfall
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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I am curious, bc I just ran across one of those, 'everyone remembers where they were when 9/11 happened!' things so-
This isn't meant to be a commentary on the event, just whether or not you remember where you were/what you were doing when the news hit.
As an example, I was home sick, doing dishes, when mom yelled for me to get in the living room RIGHT NOW.
#it was a Big Event#it was the taking off point to a LOT of bs the world over#i have heard MANY people say that EVERYONE surely remembers where they were and what they were doing#but even though i happen to remember I don't know if its accurate to say the majority do?#i am curious#tumblr#polls
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“Those two things can exist at the same time. Like you said, it's all—it's all tangled up together, you and me.”
double page spread for one of my favorite luzo fics of all time, poly philtatos (the most beloved by far) by my good friend - @swordsmans!
I knew I wanted to do a double page spread the second I finished this fic and I drafted abt a dozen ideas before landing on what would ultimately become this. There were so many snippets and moments I wanted to illustrate but I ended up doing more of an abstracted version of the fic as opposed to 1:1 drawings of scenes
funnily enough while the fic itself is told in zoros pov this spread is framed mostly through luffy’s eyes - his tears literally frame comp for their reunion, the moment he loses zoro, and the centerpiece of the first page which is this weird abstraction of him on the beach seeing zoros corpse-not-a-corpse in the waves just beyond his reach.
gyro put the crane wives’ never love an anchor on the playlist for this fic which i heavily used as inspiration in picking ornamental things for the spread (the anchor, the fleet of ships by luffy, and the nautical rope splitting the second page). also just like. overall really heartbreaking lyrics guys
there are smaller elements throughout the spread that are 1:1 references though (all i will say for these is if you know, you know hehe) i wish i had more time to do a lengthier piece for fanart for this fic bc it's one of the few luzo fics that have been rattling around in my brain forever now - once again please please please read poly philtatos if you haven't. gyro is a masterful writer and they deserve all the love! ok byeee
#i read this for the first time on a 18 hour flight and all i could do was pace the aisles and obsessively wipe at my eyes when i finished i#so i hope this conveys even 5% of that feeling#my design notes are like only 10% of what i want to say abt this fic. i am very ill#one piece#one piece fanart#luzo#zolu#zolu fic#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#my art#one piece fanfiction#gear 5 luffy
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[ x ]
#enough heartbreak guys time to be happy#tho now that i think of it... it's really sad if that post was trey visiting restaurant jade works at while they never exactly be together#or trey is married to someone else; and when he got dementia even tho he didn't remember the wife he married anymore he still remembers jad#and was taken there to visit his restaurant again; or jade was called to deliver food to the aged care trey was at#augh...... also if anyone wants more clarification jade eating his own poison is implying he ended his own life#lmao what am i saying on this happy post let's get to tagging#twst#twisted wonderland#treyjade#trey clover#jade leech#fanart
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I thought I was losing it but no, kh1 Sora's fast swimming animation really does change after you've been to Atlantica. It's a small detail, but also a cute and smart one 🥺
#edit nobody say anything i didn't realise that the dolphin kick ability extended to beyond atlantica ok i am dumb#and i didn't even think to read over its description twice. ok#but still!!! by lore he Did learn to swim better there so (*copium*)#kingdom hearts#video games#mytext#what i learned since making this post is that people don't read tags#-_- 🍺#sora
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NEW BIRTHDAY THEME IS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!
BIRTHDAY SLUMBER PARTY, HERE WE COME
I think the theme is more loungewear than straight-up pajamas, but hey, I'm not complaining! (and -- look, we still have the groovies, I'm not giving up hope for animal kigurumi until I gotta)
#art#twisted wonderland spoilers#kutsurogi my room#put on the onesie jamil#man i am absolutely LIVING for jamil's adorable embroidered throw pillows#just offscreen is the wall decal that says 'bless this mess'#gosh though i am ready for a year of COMFY BOYS#does this mean we're going to get some kind of canon confirmation about whether or not malleus needs special pillows to sleep#yes PLEASE#god. i can't decide which would be funnier: mal in sweatpants and a vintage gargoyles (1994) t-shirt#or mal in a full victorian-style striped sleep set complete with nightcap that has a pompom on the end#that jiggles up and down with every HONK mimimimi#(this is probably also what riddle sleeps in tbh)#(ace can't even make fun of him because it's just too on the nose)#and hey twst as long as i have your ear APPARENTLY#i want that halloween event to be real and i want a lilia for it please and thank you 🙏#i know it's not his turn for a halloween card but c'mon. pretty please.#i am asking so nicely
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I do think Blazing Saddles handled its one depiction of native americans very poorly, and the full extent of its representation of chinese workers on the railroad is they were literally just there. not even one single speaking line. unclear if this is worse or better than the redface.
it's fucking phenomenal at lampooning antiblack racism though. extremely blatant, extremely funny satire, which is constantly and loudly saying "racism is the philosophy of the terminally stupid at best and morally depraved at worst, and we should all be pointing and laughing at them 24/7"
plus the main character is a heroic black man who has to navigate a whole lot of bullshit but is constantly smirking at the extraordinarily stupid racists and inviting the audience into the joke. the one heroic white character is a guy who was suicidally depressed until he met the protagonist and they just instantly became buds, and he's firmly in a supporting role the whole time and happy to be there. the protagonist saves the day with the help of his black friends from the railroad, and uses the position of power he was given to uplift not only those friends, but all the railroad workers of other minorities too, in an explicit show of solidarity.
anyone saying "Blazing Saddles is racist" had better be talking about its treatment of non-black minorities. it had better not be such superficial takes as "oh but they say the n-word all the time" or "they have nazis and the kkk in there!" because goddamn if that's the full extent of your critique I very seriously suggest you read up on media analysis. there is too much going over your head, you need to learn to recognize satire.
#blazing saddles#finx watches tv#finx rambles#I recognize that I'm saying all this as someone who's not black#but I am also saying it as someone with a basic understanding of race relations in the usa#and a basic understanding of sarcasm#bc it really does not take more than that to recognize what they're doing in this movie#it is NOT subtle#and it is very funny#mel brooks movies are kinda hit or miss for me ngl#men in tights is great if a bit too crass for my taste#spaceballs has great jokes but the central story lacks any real heart so it doesn't grab me#history of the world was just kind of unpleasant and then I switched it off#but blazing saddles? phenomenal#I could not stop laughing the whole way through#and the central story DOES have heart bc it's the friendship between bart and#whassisname#jim#the Kid#plus bart working out how to succeed at an impossible task#also frankly cleavon little just grounds the comedy really well even before gene wilder shows up and we get their chemistry#bc he's cool calm collected and constantly inviting the audience into the joke#but the character's not too cool to ever mess up or ever be silly#he makes bad choices and gets into bad situations and then has to get himself out of them#but it's.....oh wait duh there's a term for this already#he's the straight man#he grounds all the zany nonsense by being in strong contrast to it#and he does a great job of it!#anyway#point is I deeply enjoyed this movie and I'm glad I finally watched it
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The thing about being religious is you'll talk about your beliefs and/or experiences with non-religious people, and they'll sort of pat you on the head and say, "Yes, what a nice little idea, I'm glad that you have your beliefs to comfort you!" and every time you have to bite your tongue because your religion isn't just a "nice little idea" to you, it's a cosmic truth that underlies all things, and furthermore, although God Himself has comforted you, that doesn't mean that faith itself is comfortable, but if you put any of that into words, they'll look at you funny.
#and even me saying 'God is my comforter' isn't some nice pretty thing either#what i mean ultimately is 'when i am angry and afraid and suffering God is not driven away by my anger or fear or pain'#it's ugly and it's brutal And Yet 'to whom shall i go?'#christianity tag#live from the scriptorium
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