#what am I doing with my life at this point

[monstersflashlight]

Patreon Commission for anon

Request: something with an orc and a female human? Something fantasy-based, maybe human owns a tavern? I'd be fine with whatever you thought worked though!

A/N: Sorry this is kind of late, life is hectic. Enjoy!

Kissing an orc

Orc x fem!reader || accidental exhibitionism, oral sex, groping

You are kneading the bread for the next day when the knock on the door startles you. “Your favorite orc is hereeeee,” your annoying naga helper sing-songs to you. You shush them in your way to the door, signaling them to stop or you’ll kill them. They chuckle and disappear to the front, a broom already on their hands. Good, at least they would stop being a little shit while they do the tavern cleaning.

You open the door and have to swallow a gasp. It doesn’t matter how many times you look at him, it always amazes you how fucking beautiful he is. All giant, towering over you, with his beautiful olive skin and big tusks framing his appetizing mouth. Good goddess you’d give all your gold to be able to kiss him at least once to know how that mouth would feel against yours.

“Hi- hi,” you stutter. You chastise yourself, trying to act composed, but suddenly your skin feels too hot and your breathing is pushing your boobs a bit too forward.

“What was all that about? Am I your favorite orc? Do you know more orcs?” He looks so confused and adorable you want to pinch his cheek, but also kiss him senseless.

You look at him completely dumbfounded. “Are you serious?”

“Yes?” You aren’t sure if it’s a question or an affirmative.

You take a deep breath, thinking about all the possible possibilities of what you are about to do, but you are so fucking tired. You want to know, and if it goes wrong, you can always change hunters and find a new person or monster to bring you fresh meat for your tavern every day, right? Yeah. You can probably find somebody else, but you can’t wait more time to know how do his lips taste.

You stare into his beautiful dark eyes and answer truthfully: “Of course you are my favorite orc, I’ve been trying to ask you out for months.”

“What?” He looks so surprised you want to laugh, but the nervousness in your stomach prevents you to do anything. “But, but… I asked and you didn’t… you didn’t…” He takes a deep breath and starts again. “I asked you to meet me for breakfast and you said you had to work. I asked you if you wanted coffee and said you had to work.” As soon as he says that, you can remember a few other times he asked you for coffee or lunch or some snack and you always refused because you thought he did it just because he was nice, not because he was interested. Were you really that obvious?

You look at him, your face mirroring his surprise. “Oh.”

“You are just too cute for your own good, damn it.” He doesn’t wait for your answer before his hands are cupping your face and he’s kissing you breathless. “We could have been doing this for a long time if you just said so,” he mumbles against your lips, kissing you again.

Kissing an orc is even better than you imagined. His tusks frame your mouth perfectly and his lips are way softer than expected. He is perfect and you can’t even comprehend what he’s doing when he crouches and grabs your ass, pulling you up and walking inside, the deer he caught today left there, forgotten.

He moves around the kitchen like he owns it, and before you know it your ass is over a table and he’s kissing your neck, making goosebumps erupt on your skin. His hands are everywhere, tracing the edge of your corset, caressing your back and groping your ass over the skirt of your dress. His hands fit under the skirt and he goes up and up until his hand is over your center and you are panting, his mouth hot against your pulse point as he touches your vulnerable place.

He caresses your legs over your underpants and asks: “Can I?” His lips move against your neck when he talks and you have to suppress a tremor.

“Yes. Yes. Yes,” you chant, already pulling the skirt of your dress up to your waist as he pulls down your underpants, kissing your leg along the way.

“Have somebody ever…?” He doesn’t have to say it, you know what he means. You aren’t a blushing virgin, but you never had enough trust in anyone to let them… kiss you there.

“I never… Nobody ever… Not there,” you try to explain.

He gets it instantly, kissing your mouth until your brain is far away from your worries and his dexterous fingers find your pearl, flickering it and making you bite down on his lip. He groans and you giggle against his lips, he kneels on the floor in front of you and goes for it.

You moan very loudly as inexplicably pleasure breaks through your body, making you throw your head back and arch your back in an arch that leaves your boobs about to spill over your corset. You are sure it looks sinful from his position, but when you open your eyes the only thing you see is his face still buried between your legs, your thighs pressing against the sides of his head so strongly you are worried you are going to hurt him, but his pleased sounds are good enough to make you groan again.

You cover your mouth to avoid screaming his name as his tongue does wonders around your lucky pearl, his tusks framing your pussy in a way that leaves you breathless and ready for more at the same time. It’s wonderful and marvelous and all the adjectives you can’t even comprehend as he sucks and licks your hot center, dragging all kinds of sounds out of you.

You’ve never felt that kind of pleasure, and as it starts to peak, you don’t know what to do with all of it. You grab his hair and pull, making him grunt as his fingers dig into your hips where he’s holding you still. You are messing up his braid, but you can’t care about it as he keeps licking and fucking you with his tongue. It’s the most intense experience of your life and when the pleasure hits its peak, you have to bite down on your hand to avoid the cry that was about to leave your mouth.

He licks you through it, until your legs are trembling around his head and your pussy is pulsating in time with your heartbeat. He doesn’t stop there, he keeps milking all the pleasure out of you with such frantic need that you can’t do anything but match it. When your second orgasm hits you, the first one was still there, joining in the middle in the biggest wave of pleasure you’ve ever felt.

He kisses your pussy and your highs, not trying to make you untie your legs from around his head. His tender caresses are a contrast with the frantic devouring he just did, but it’s the best kind of contrast. You are still breathing hard and he’s still on the floor in front of you licking you clean when the door to the tavern opens with a screech.

“Dude! That’s where I make the bread!” The annoying naga screams as he opens the door just in time to see him kissing your pussy one last time.

[chryso-poeia]

Being human is simple if you strip away the inhuman systems, the bureacracy, the trauma that the programmed, wounded and misled perpetuate. (Hence kindness or protecting one’s energy). Being human happens without your conscious participation, you could not beat your own heart, digest your food etc. Hence ”human being” and not ”human doing”. Your body orients you, not the programming. Ground yourself, become present, it’s all here right now, the wonder of it. If you really pay attention.

People are either motivated by an avoidance of pain or a seeking of pleasure. Pain is fear, without pain, no pleasure. Without your palm, no dorsum. Everything exists in a complementary relationship to everything else. Night follows day. Everything is a derivative of fear or love. But it all leads back to love, in the end. Spiritually, this is transcendence of duality.

So i believe that, that which causes life to thrive, or a flower to bloom: is love, which is acceptance, which is compassion, which is nourishment, it allows. So i will be kind and playful in my eternal love, nothing else worked. The mind is designed to be as convincing as possible, hence it reaffirms our sense of reality. But there is something called as healthy functioning and coping, not meant as judgement but rather compassion. This can clear your mind.

Here’s a few of the most effective grounding exercises for a traumatized nervous system, that i’ve found:

• 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise.

• Progressive muscle relaxation.

• Breath awareness (esp in highly emotional situations): Allow the breath simply arise, don’t try to control it, just let your attention ride on it, become breathed, like a tree.

• EFT.

Misc:

• Follow your excitement in every situation.

• Think about who you are without all your negative convictions. Instead of thinking that you chose think a thought, observe the feeling is triggers in your body. Feel the fear/anxiety and just breathe deeply. Don’t engage in the mind conversation, just breathe deeply. If you start engaging in the convo again, gently back to the breath. Remember: your mind is convincing for a reason, because a lot of thoughts: require your participation to survive. It can help to repeat:

”This negative response is how my body-mind has been programmed to think it must respond. Because it replays the past, i choose to learn from the past and accept myself, in order to move on. I choose to invite love. So i choose to believe that i don’t have to respond that way. Divine, i don’t know how it’s possible but with your infinite intelligence, all things are possible.”

Spiritual Practice:

• Aum chanting, 16-108 rounds.

• Hare Krishna chanting.

• Tibetan Tummo Yoga. (Very physically intense, somatic effect).

• ”Breath Of Fire” Pranyama, breating exercise (CAUTION: Please research how to do this one correctly, faulty practice can damage your lungs. Hence it’s also therefore incredibly potent.)

• Hoponopono.

Natural Processes:

• Full body crying. (Crying is a mechanism that releases tensions and trauma from the body).

• Ruthlessly honest journaling. Write down everything that has ever happened to you. (ChatGPT can be a wonderful tool here, just temper the amount of detail you provide)

• Exercise, 30min at a minimum, daily walk. Preferably in nature.

-

Above all, whatever we resist, persists. So things like journaling can often be the most cathartic and effective practice, each time. The idea is that if it is not expressed, it is harbored within. But once expressed, it becomes external. At which point, one can notice how there is a separation of ’what happened’ and ’who i am’.

chronic fatigue from mental illness and neurodivergency isn't something you can just will your way out of. your nervous system is part of your body. your brain is an organ. the fatigue is real. you're not lazy. so be kinder to yourself. be gentler with your bodymind.

[ellecdc]

could I please please please request — “you don’t need to earn my affection, not now and not ever.” with remus, angst with comfort🥹

poor baby rem

Remus Lupin x fem!reader who loves him for no specific reason [850 words]

CW: angst, remus' self-loathing, hurt/comfort

Remus was rotten company, he was well aware. He probably wasn’t great company at the best of times, even less so laid out on a hospital bed.

Yet there you were, in a stiff hospital chair as though it was a luxurious wingback in the Gryffindor common room, feet propped up against the end of the bed so your legs were folded slightly at the knees, and a book in your lap. Here because Remus was and for no other reason. 

The worst part was that Remus wasn’t even pretending to be asleep. He was splitting his time between staring at the side of your head as you read quietly - bothering absolutely no one yet Remus was so horribly aware of your presence - and glowering at anyone and everyone who walked by the foot of his bed. 

This is how Remus spent his time. This is what a life with Remus was; full moons, healing balms, terrible moods, and glowering. 

“Why are you here?” He asked then; voice hoarse and grating though he didn’t bother clearing his throat. He was rotten company. 

You didn’t look over right away, your eyes drifting from the pages of your book as you tucked your finger to the place you were on and folded the book closed.

“Do you not want me here, Remus?” You asked, eyes still pointed at where your feet were resting on the hospital bed. 

“That’s not what I said.” He countered darkly. “I asked why you’re here.” 

“Because I want to be.” You answered simply.

“Why?”

“Remus-”

“Why would you want to be here?” He asked, gesturing vaguely to the sad, curtained walled room the two of you were sequestered in; you willingly and him not at all. “Why would you want to be here with me?”

“I always want to be with you.” You offered quickly, the end of Remus’ sentence barely left his tongue before you were arguing with him. 

You were sitting up now; feet on the floor and leaning over the book still in your lap as though you were itching to be closer to him but not wanting to risk it.

“Why?”

“Because I love you, Rem-”

“Why!?” He wasn’t embarrassed by the way his voice echoed through the hospital wing, nor the way that the matron shushed him reproachfully. He was embarrassed at the speed of which you sat up straight, rearing back as though Remus had slapped you.  

He was rotten company. 

“What do you mean ‘why’, Remus?” You sounded gutted, utterly heartbroken. Remus was rotten. 

“Why would you love me?” He whispered defeatedly. 

The question seemed to boggle your mind, leaning back in your chair as you scrutinised Remus; a difficult arithmancy question, a troublesome potion, a crystal ball refusing to give you answers in divination. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” 

Remus scoffed a humourless laugh, jamming his fingers in his eyes until he could see stars. “Why wouldn’t you!? Maybe- maybe because I’m not James sodding Potter with an endless amount of energy to chase you around like a witch ought to be. Or… or-or Sirius Black who can shower you an endless amount of compliments or flashy gifts. Or even-”

“Remus.” It wasn’t the venerating way in which you said his name that had him pausing, realising the way his breaths were leaving his lips in panicked little bursts, but the way in which your hand - warm, so warm - gently landed on his wrist now lying against the bed. “Stop.”

The next sound from Remus was a sob. 

“I don’t know” you started slowly, punctuating your words with a gentle squeeze to his wrist, reminding him you were real and that he still existed “who told you that any of those things made someone more worthy of love. But it is simply not true.”

He shook his head but didn’t dare contradict you when your fingers circled Remus’ wrist with more fervency in warning. 

“I am choosing to be here. I want to be here. And if you want me to list all of the reasons why I love you I will happily do so but Remus John Lupin, you listen now, and you listen good: you do not need to earn my affection. Not now, not ever.” 

Remus let out a shuddering sigh as he tried to will his heart to return to his chest from where it migrated to his throat. 

“Do you hear me?”

“I hear you.” He croaked, offering you the best (though the most watery) smile he could muster. “I hear you. I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I love you.” You promised again; expression a mixture of determined, somewhat frustrated, and dutifully in love. “For no specific reason either, alright?”

Remus smiled at you, easier this time. “Alright.” 

“Go back to sleep.” You sighed, though you had a smile on your face. “I love you; but it’s even easier to love you when you’re well rested.”

“I love you.” He repeated as he settled back into his bed. 

“I know, Rem.” You murmured. “I love you too.”

Remus was rotten company. You loved him anyway.

[always-just-red]

@lunariadew asked: 'Can you write a poly fic maby like a feel good fic or date night or something with all the boys! I’m greedy and I think there’s not enough poly fics as there should be'

Nothing profound this time around! Just some good old-fashioned shenanigans. I've wanted to do a fic with all the boys for SO long (Infold, hire me to write a sitcom-style show for the guys, PLEASE) I've kept it platonic since it's early stages; it's open to interpretation about how many sparks are flying and between whom exactly..... 👀 But if ppl want more of this, I'm all over it. Platonic or romantic? I'll play it by ear!

Game Night

L&DS Boys X Reader

Summary: The most important men in your life can manage one evening together, right? For you? Please? Pretty please?

Genre: Fluff + humour

Warnings/Additional Tags: f!reader, some swearing, a lil conflict, non-canon (I know some of the guys probably know each-other but we're pretending they don't 😇)

| Word count: 4k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!

“Rafayel… what do you think this is?”

The artist stands at your open door, wearing a self-assured smile and one of the flashier outfits you’ve seen him in, and that’s really saying something. Between you is a bouquet of lilies, petals curled like frozen licks of fire that compliment— deliberately, if you had to guess— the warmer fires within his eyes. Those eyes narrow at your question.

“What do you think it is?” he says suspiciously, lowering the flowers.

“…Game night?”

You’re not sure why you phrase it so tentatively. You know what it is; you’re the host. You open your door wider, stepping aside to give Rafayel a better view of the apartment behind you, and the remainder of his smile sinks.

“Hi,” Xavier calls out, and you don’t have to see him to know he’s giving a wholesome sort of wave.

“Hi…” Rafayel answers, barely more than a whisper as his eyes flit between everyone else in the room, because he’s the last to arrive. “Game night, yeah,” he nods assertively, “I knew that.” Then a deep breath: “Can I, like, put these somewhere—”

“Kitchen counter,” you gesture.

“Got it.” He doesn’t have to be told twice.

Closing the door behind him, you watch as he skirts past the lounge and makes for your kitchen, where another bouquet already lies waiting. He zeroes in on it. “Looks like mine’s not the only heart you’re breaking tonight, huh, cutie? What are these—” he pokes at a petal— “daturas?”

“They’re her favourite,” speaks a distinctly low voice.

Rafayel doesn’t look up. He plonks his bouquet on top of the other and winces: “They’re really not, though.”

“He’s right,” you chip in, giving Sylus a sheepish smile, and now Rafayel looks up, beaming.

“She likes roses,” Zayne says, with the calm confidence he’d quote a medical journal. On the sofa beside him, Xavier nods, and you grin at them both.

“Noted,” Sylus chuckles.

Rafayel’s less convinced. “Since when?!”

“Since forever, Raf. I like lilies too, so I didn’t say anything, ‘kay?” You beckon him back to the lounge, ignoring his splutters of disbelief. “C’mere, let me introduce you to everyone.”

The man slinks to your side like a reluctant shadow, and your hands find your hips. “This is Zayne. Xavier,” you point out, putting faces to names; Rafayel’s heard stories about each. Then you nod towards Sylus. “Over there’s Skye.”

From his place by the window, Sylus lifts a hand in greeting.

“So… yeah,” you finish. Oh, wait! “Guys, this is—”

“They know who I am,” Rafayel shrugs, his fame apparently heavy on his shoulders. He glances around the room for validation, but he gets none, so he tries again. “You do know who I am, right?”

“Sorry,” Xavier admits with an awkward smile, glancing back at Sylus: you?

The man has to think about it. You know for a fact he’s traded more than one of Rafayel’s paintings for a profit, but he smirks and gives an even more exaggerated shrug than the artist himself.

Really?

“You’re Rafayel,” Zayne states plainly.

“Yeah! See, I told you, cutie—”

“You slipped on a paintbrush and checked yourself into Akso, right? The nurses still talk about it.”

Rafayel’s enthusiasm drains. He looks conflicted as he mulls over the additional information. “In, like, a good way?” he hazards.

Zayne stares back at him, wielding silence like a scalpel before cutting deeper with a: “…sure.”

You bite back a smile. Leaving the two to discuss the finer details of Rafayel’s notoriety at the hospital, you wander over to the kitchen, where you fish out a vase from the back of a cupboard. You fill it, set it down on the counter, then reach for Sylus’s bouquet. There’s a black satin ribbon; you untie it.

“Are you sure this is a good idea, sweetie?” asks the man himself, joining you discreetly.

The others can’t really hear you— they’re still talking. “What,” you smirk, retrieving your scissors from a drawer, “you worried Xavier’s gonna arrest you?”

Sylus laughs lowly, quietly. “That’s adorable.”

“Good.” You pick up a flower and trim a leaf from the stem. “Because even if he wanted to—” you wave it, just short of his face— “I’d protect you, ok?”

He regards the flower beneath his nose. Smiles smugly. “These can be toxic, sweetie.”

“Really? Whoops.” You put it down, then snatch up a lily from Rafayel’s bouquet. “En Garde!”

“These too.”

“What the hell?”

The flame-red flower drops from your fingers, and Sylus laughs more sincerely. “Stick to roses, kitten. Or…” He moves his hand over his deconstructed bouquet, his Evol pruning the rest of the leaves from the stems. A tendril of it gathers the flowers, delivering them to him so he can hold them out to you with a flourish. “Live dangerously. Who am I to judge?”

You take them, then plop them into the vase. “Cute.”

“I’m here all week,” he grins. “You’d better wash your hands, hmm?”

With a hmph of agreement, you turn to the sink. You spend half a minute, rubbing soap and warm water over your hands, and when you turn back around— still drying them— something is different. The lilies are gone. Sylus is looking at you, innocuous.

“Real mature, Skye.”

He makes no effort to defend himself. You’re about to tell him that his magic better extend to making flowers reappear when your attention is whipped back to the lounge. The voices from that side have raised, so you lean forward on your kitchen island, watching their owners in a sort of stakeout.

“I take it you have a plan,” Sylus whispers, leaning with you.        

You look at him. He looks back. “The plan is for hosts,” you scold, “not guests.” He’s much too close so you step away, reaching for the vase of daturas and holding them threateningly out, like you’re not afraid to use them. “Go back to the guests, deserter.”

Sylus lifts his hands in surrender, smirking in a way that says he knows he’s met his match. You shoo him further, back into enemy lines, then resume your stakeout. Xavier is sharing his own “embarrassing” medical story— talking about a time where he once passed out from exhaustion while fighting at your side, and you think it’s supposed to make Rafayel feel better.

It doesn’t, of course, and even Zayne is gazing down at the floor, self-conscious.

Sylus meets your eyes across the room, signals with a tip of his head: now's a good time for that master plan, sweetie.

Right. Your plan. Your master plan, yeah.

…

“You should have picked the doctor.”

Sylus’s words are near-silent: for you, not anyone else, and you pretend you don’t hear them. “But no,” he carries on, because he knows you can, “you just had to have the artist.”

“It’s Pictionary!” you snap, drawing all eyes in the room.

Lounging beside you, Sylus feigns an amused surprise, as though he hasn’t just been trying to illicit that exact reaction. On the other sofa, Zayne and Xavier stare, taken more genuinely aback. You give a smile of apology.

“Guys, concentrate!” Rafayel clicks his fingers at you. He’s stood in the centre of the space by a large drawing pad, and he goes back to frantically sketching on it. The drawing is… interesting. Abstract. Maybe even beautiful? But you don’t have a clue what it is.

“Thirty seconds,” warns Zayne, studying the little egg-timer he’s guarding.

You tilt your head at the drawing. There’s maybe a— wait, where did those extra colours come from? Where did he even get those pens? Anyway… there’s a circle. “A globe?” you guess. “Earth! No? Umm… oh! The sun! The moon!”

Rafayel shakes his head with every suggestion, adding even more intricate, unhelpful scribbles. Is that a fifth pen?! You nudge your other teammate, calling for back-up.

Sylus regards the drawing listlessly. “A unicorn.”

“What?!” Rafayel’s tone has reached a pitch that almost makes you wince. “No! C’mon, are you even trying?”

“No,” Sylus lilts with a pleasant smile, lifting the drink he’s been nursing to his lips.

You kick his foot. “A bowl of fruit!” you exclaim, determined to make up for the lack of enthusiasm. “A plate? A plate with food? Breakfast! Lunch! Dinner!”

“Time’s up,” Zayne interrupts, and it’s a mercy, really; you deflate with a sigh.

Rafayel puts his hands on his hips as he takes a step back to observe his work. He tucks four fine-liners back into his pocket— purses his lips as though he really can’t see a problem— and he’s keeping you all in suspense.

Sylus is up in an instant, stealing a card from where it’s been discarded on the coffee table. He reads the answer, then rolls his eyes. The original pen was also abandoned, so he plucks it up, then strides to the drawing pad.

He draws an oval. Then a triangle.

“A fish! A fish!” you cry out.

“You’re good at this, sweetie,” Sylus grins. He puts the lid on the pen with a click before dropping it into Rafayel’s hand.

“Is it my turn?” Xavier asks, trying to relieve the tension of the room. He gets up and smiles as Rafayel passes him the pen. “Your drawing is pretty. The composition is really—”

“Don’t,” Rafayel says. “Like, thanks? But don’t.”

“Fair enough,” Xavier chuckles.

You all prepare for the next round: Zayne handing you the egg-timer, Xavier re-organising the stack of prompt cards. Sylus takes a photo of the drawing pad before ambling back over— a moping Rafayel in tow— and they both sink down either side of you. You glance at the latter, giggling. “A fish, Raf? Really?”

“So I didn’t just wanna draw you some basic fish, ok?” The artist crosses his arms with a pout. “But fine, enjoy mediocrity, I guess.”

To your left, Sylus raises his glass in toast to the notion. There’s a noise: Xavier tearing the used page from the pad. You look up. “Xavier, can I have that?”

“Sure.” He brings it over to you.

You look at the drawing again, holding it at arm’s length and rotating it experimentally. You’re seeing a lot, but nothing that screams ‘fish’. There’s a circle, still. Oh! “It’s a fish bowl! Wait, wait, wait— is that Reddie?”

“Yeah!” Rafayel beams.

“Aww!”

The renewed team spirit drops off with Sylus; he’s on his phone, not paying attention. He seems to sense your scrutiny because he peers up, gives a ghost of a smile, then returns to whatever he’s doing. Meanwhile, Xavier is ready for his turn, so he signals for you to start the timer. You give him a thumbs up as you turn it over. “Go!”

He starts drawing.

“A car,” Zayne guesses after all of five seconds. Correct. Next. “A river? No. Oh. A snake.” Yes. “A cupcake?” Also yes. (In fairness, he was never going to struggle with that one.) “A person? Ok. Oh, a scientist, no? Ah, a doctor.” Yes again, and really— what?

Zayne continues to list correct answers, though thankfully, that’s the last of the coincidences. You watch on, vaguely in awe, until you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. You check it casually, aware that Sylus is next to you, looking down at it too.

It’s a text from him: The drawing… Can I have it?

You glance up at him subtly, meeting his eyes and giving a discreet yet firm shake of your head. He frowns. You’re not having this debate here, now, so you let your gaze return to the drawing pad while idly retrieving your drink.

A few seconds later, there’s another text: Found buyer

Then another: Quarter of a mil

You almost choke on that drink.

“Umm… cutie?” Rafayel asks, poking you. He points at the timer you’ve left on the coffee table, and the top half is empty.

“Shit, yeah. That’s time!” you call.

Xavier stops drawing. The small, crude sketches behind him have reached double digits. He looks really proud. “Great! How many was that?”

His eyes find you. Zayne and Rafayel’s, too. Were you supposed to be counting? Uh—

“Eleven,” says Sylus, and it’s way too smug to be a lie.

“Awesome!” Xavier flips the drawing pad over to where you’ve been tallying point totals. He adds eleven marks to one side. “That’s—” he counts both— “ah, thirty-three to nine.”

A silence falls over the room. Unsure of what else to do, you give a half-hearted round of applause and Xavier laughs awkwardly, still humble, despite it all. “I think we’re kinda done with Pictionary, yeah?” you suggest, rising from your seat. “I should probably get started on food, anyway.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that.”

The insistence came from Xavier, and you freeze suspiciously; he’s never turned down free food.

“You’ve already done so much,” he explains, “setting this all up for us. You should relax, really! Leave it to me.”

The word ‘relax’ is not synonymous with the image of Xavier anywhere near your kitchen, but he’s looking at you so earnestly, blue eyes brimming with warmth, and what are you supposed to say? No thanks, Xavier— I value my life? Everyone’s watching you. Gods help you. “That’s really sweet, Xavier. Thanks.”

Your fellow Hunter’s smile widens even more. He heads off to the kitchen, a spring to his step that makes your heart sink with dread. “Actually—” you glance at your ex-teammates— “could you two go help him? Zayne and I’ll tidy up over here.”

Rafayel and Sylus do as they’re asked, even though their expressions remind you that cooking is not, typically, a three-man job. It’s tactical, though. You wanted a moment alone with Zayne. “Are you ok?” you ask, once the others are out of earshot. “I know this must all be a lot. The guys can be, well… yeah.”

He knows what you mean, right?

Zayne has slipped away from the couch; he’s crouched on the floor, collecting a few prompt cards that have wandered astray. He glances up at you, pushing his glasses back on his nose. “I’m ok,” he assures with a fond smile. “Thank you, though.”

“You’re welcome.” He hands you the cards and you slot them back into their deck. Then you turn to the drawing pad. “You and Xavier make a good team, huh?”

The doctor straightens to his full height. “Mmm. It helped that we didn’t spend the entire game comparing the size of our… drawing abilities.” 

You laugh unashamedly. The pen’s still at-hand, so you pick it up— reward another point.

Zayne chuckles.

“Food’s gonna be a while.”

You both turn, following the voice back to Sylus, who has apparently decided he’s had his fill of kitchen duty. What was that— a minute? He seems to have anticipated your dissatisfaction, because he’s brought a bribe with him: the box of chocolates that had come with his bouquet. It’s already open and he holds it out, tempting you.

He’s right— you don’t know when you’ll next be eating— so you select a heart-shaped chocolate, popping it into your mouth with a smile and a muffled: “thanks.”

Sylus smiles back. Then he holds the box out to Zayne. “Doctor?”

It takes a nod of encouragement from you to prompt Zayne into taking something. He chooses a white chocolate truffle, mumbles his own thanks, but Sylus doesn’t relent— not yet. He shakes the box slightly, incitingly, and he doesn’t move it away until Zayne takes two more.

Your physician shoots you a surreptitious smile as Sylus falls back onto the couch, content he’s won your hearts, and that he won’t be sent back to the kitchen anytime soon. His long fingers lift another chocolate from the box, and he meets your eyes as he slips it slowly past his lips, humming likes he’s enjoying himself.

You cross your arms, unimpressed. He gives you the least convincing look of innocence you’ve ever seen.

There’s an exclamation from the kitchen: “Hey, where did my flowers go!?” 

Shit. You hastily push the drawing pad aside then scurry over to assist Rafayel. You don’t have a plan, exactly; it’s not like you can help him look for them. “Umm… they’re around, Raf. I moved them somewhere safer, that’s all.”

“Where?”

“Uh—”

“Does it matter?” Sylus speaks from behind you, because he and Zayne are close at your heels. “She said they’re somewhere safe.” He leans on the kitchen island. “Don’t you trust her?”

Rafayel scoffs. “I trust her plenty.”

“So prove it. Drop it.”

“Skye,” you caution, “stop.”

Sylus does stop, but not because you asked. He’s done enough already, hasn’t he? Rafayel is bristling with indignance— a lit fuse— and behind him, Xavier sneakily checks the trash can, looking relieved at what he doesn’t find. He gives you a subtle glance: Where actually are the flowers?

You lift a shoulder an inch: Beats me!

There’s a soft, almost imperceptible crackle, and it draws your eyes to the vase of daturas between you all. They’ve caught light— their petals twisting, darkening, within larger flowers of fire.

“Rafayel!” you gasp. “No, no, no, the fire alarm!”

The torched flowers are encased, all of a sudden, in a fine layer of shimmering frost. Sylus blinks down at them, unmoved by their destruction. Zayne’s hand is still outstretched, snowflakes etched over his palm. Then something… odd happens. The ice doesn’t stop. It spreads over the rest of the kitchen island, to all of your bewilderment.

“Zayne?” Your voice is fraught with worry, but you don’t give a damn about your kitchen.

The man winces, and you so rarely see him out of control. The silver-white patterns have crawled up his wrist, and the ice continues to spread; even Sylus steps back. Sharp, jagged crystals start to form— inching out towards everyone.

“Zayne!” you try again.

His chest rises as he drags air through his teeth; it looks like it hurts, but the ice does stop. The others are still, suspended by momentary uncertainty, and you rush to Zayne’s side, taking his hand.

“What the hell was that?” Rafayel remarks, shaking away his surprise and thawing an icicle that’s way too close for comfort.

“He wouldn’t have needed to use his Evol if you hadn’t used yours.”

It’s Xavier, strangely— you would have expected Sylus. The Hunter’s tone is gentle as always, but there’s something behind it, this time: a frustration that lends an edge.

Rafayel hears it too. “Hey, I’m not the one who started this!” He points to Sylus. “He—”

“Has been lighting fires all evening,” Xavier finishes. “But at least his were only figurative.”

Sylus laughs, and it’s the kind of laugh where you just know he’s vying to make things worse. “Look at that,” he says, “the boy next door can bite.”

Xavier’s eyes sharpen. Beside you, Zayne slips his hand from yours. It’s an instinct you know well. This moment is volatile, and you have to be ready. It could go a dozen different ways; it’s just waiting for a spark.

“Guys,” you manage to get out, “please, just… everyone, take a breath, ok? Everything’s fine, we just have to—”

A spark.

There’s smoke. Actual smoke. “Xavier, behind you!” Zayne alerts.

It’s creeping out of the oven and Xavier turns— eyes wide— to open its door before any of you can stop him. Thicker smoke billows out, filling the air, and you all scramble away from it. The fire alarm triggers. You think Rafayel’s shouting something, but you can’t really hear him. Then Sylus is shouting. Maybe even Zayne. The alarm is piercing your ears and making you dizzy— or is it the smoke?

You feel a hand on your shoulder and suddenly everything changes.

There’s cool air, brushing over your skin, and it’s dark; you’re outside the building. You can still hear the alarm, shrill but further away, and your window is easy to spot: there’s a red light flashing behind it. Sylus leans into your vision, saying your name.

“Stay here,” he tells you, “alright?”

He’s gone in another moment, lost to a flicker of crimson-black darkness.

Gods, you’re so stupid.

…

You sit on a short wall outside of your building, and the street is full of people. You recognise most of them: neighbours. Every single one is mad at you. You’re all waiting for the alarm to cut out— for the all-clear to be given. The fire wasn’t that serious in the end, but there’s still a procedure. You would know; this isn’t exactly your first evacuation.

The guys are safe, which is good, because it means you can kill them later. They’ve all gotten lost in the throng, and your neighbours can keep them. Maybe they’ll kill them for you.  

“Hey, cutie.”

You were staring down at your feet, but you look up at Rafayel’s voice. He’s coming towards you, evoking a sense of déjà vu, because he’s clutching a bouquet of flame lilies. That’s… the bouquet of flame lilies. How?

“Skye gave ‘em back to me,” he explains, chuckling at your expression, and he’s close enough now to hold the flowers out to you. “I don’t know where he was keeping them. His Evol’s weird, huh?”

“Yeah,” you say timidly, taking the bouquet and gazing down into the petals; they still smell sweet.

Rafayel sits next to you, shuffling close, and he leans his head on your shoulder with a tired sigh. You want to be mad at him. You really, really do— but you’re suddenly not.

“I’m sorry, Rafayel.” The admission barely makes it out of your throat.

You feel his head lift. “You’re sorry?”

“I know it was just a misunderstanding,” you speak into the flowers, “but tonight… wasn’t what you were expecting, I get it. I mean, I kinda threw you into the deep end with all this. You didn’t know you were gonna be around other people, and I—”

“Whoa— cut that out, yeah? You’re killing me, cutie. I spend the whole evening causing trouble, and you’re gonna take all the blame? Nope. Not happening. It was a collaborative effort at least, ok?”

You giggle. “Ok.”  

“Good.” His head slumps back down on your shoulder, and yours tilts to rest against it. “Thanks, though. Really,” he whispers, so quiet you almost don’t notice.

Footsteps and familiar voices draw you from the intimacy of the moment. The others are wandering back to you, having finally escaped the veritable mob of your neighbours. They all look tired.

Xavier settles down on the other side of you, and Zayne sits beside him. Sylus takes a seat next to Rafayel with a huff, but he’s not half as unhappy as he’s pretending to be.

All of you sit in silence, gazes flitting between your window— where there are still glimpses of moving figures— and everyone else who’s been evacuated. For the first time all evening, the quiet isn’t tense. It’s peaceful. Easy.

“We’ll do better next time,” Zayne speaks softly.

Next time? You scoff. “Do any of you actually want there to be a next time?”

“I had fun,” Sylus chuckles. He’s taken his coin from his pocket, and he flips it, amusing himself.

“I had fun too,” Xavier grins.

“Cooking again, Xavier?” quips one of your neighbours, as they happen to pass by.

The man beside you laughs, but you can tell it’s forced. Your hand finds his; you give it a little squeeze, letting him know that it wasn’t his fault. His heart was in the right place. It’s always in the right place.

You nudge Rafayel away from you so you can sit up straighter, your free hand rubbing your arm, caressing prickled skin. You’re about to ask for a jacket when something heavy drapes over your shoulders. It’s a coat— still warm— and its owner is stood behind you; you didn’t even notice him get up.

“Thanks, Sylus,” you smile.

All eyes turn to you. What are they—?

Oh.

[chaoskirin]

You know what's funny is I've warned against some of the shit this site shills as OK. It was so enraging like 6 or 7 years ago when I posted something like "yeah never leaving someone alone after they fuck up is probably bad actually" and got called... IDK the word at the time, but something like an apologist.

And again, I'm gonna point this out: Seeing everything in black and white with no greys in the middle IS THE PROBLEM. Not just "A" problem, but THE problem among leftists.

I'm gonna go ahead and use Arin Hanson as an example again, because there's drama about him on Twitter again, but people still want to "remind" his fans about the stupid shit he did in his life ten or more years ago. You don't have to do that, I fucking promise. You don't. You don't have to like him or be his biggest stan if you don't want to, but CHRIST. Shut the fuck up. You HAVE to give people room to change and grow, or what is this all for?

"But what if ______ said something racist?"

Are they actively doing it now? Are they doing racist things? Are they causing harm? No? Then SHUT UP. You don't have to tell everyone who posts about _______ that they said something stupid 10 years ago.

I also follow someone on Twitter who fucked up in a huge way and JUST posted some racist shit. It was unintentional and came from a place of severe misinformation, and he apologized as soon as he realized he fucked up and even RT'd the people who corrected him, but there are STILL PEOPLE commenting on his posts with "are you going to address this" and... just fucking SHUT UP. There is a really clear line between holding someone accountable and harassment. You HAVE to learn to tell the difference.

And I can't believe I have to say this because someone will misconstrue this, but holding people accountable is good. It is. I get it. You want to point things out and demand better. That is good for society. But if you see people have already pointed it out by the dozens, or sometimes hundreds, you can just... not support that person.

There's this thing on the internet where if you don't explicitly state that you DON'T support something, then you MUST support it. And those people also need to shut the fuck up. Sometimes it's the dogpiling that pushes people away from reflection, especially when there are also a ton of comments that say things like "don't listen to them. If you ever need to talk, I'm here."

Who do you think that person is going to for help? The person calling them horrible, or the person offering them comfort?

I fully expect to get asshole asks like "oh so you support racism" and here's a pre-emptive "fuck you" for deliberately misinterpreting what I'm saying. Unfollow and block me rather than sending me dipshit asks.

I'm done with all of you.

I'm especially done with the pissants who saw me say "Kamala Harris is probably better for the country than Donald Trump" and sent me asks saying I was a fucking genocide apologist. You see what your bullshit got you? Fuck you. Now we have someone who'll not only support the Palestinian genocide, but will likely do other terrible shit, as well. And even though Palestinians begged you to vote for Kamala Harris, you just had to virtue signal to the world that you were just so gosh darn progressive.

I am saying this all from the bottom of my heart. Stop pushing people away. Stop seeking perfection in every person on the internet. You will NEVER find it, and not only will you spend your life angry, but you'll spend your life fucking things up for everyone else.

posts about the alt-right pipeline being compassionate towards young men while radical leftists shun and shame them are not fucking saying "the men are becoming violent because feminists are too mean!" and if that is your takeaway you need to get off tumblr until you've better honed your critical thinking skills.

those posts are talking about how effective the language and approach you take in your activism can be. this is literally cult deprogramming 101. if someone is being taken in by a violent or dangerous group, that violent or dangerous group is usually offering them compassion and solace while working hard to convince them everyone else in the world is their enemy. you are under no obligation to coddle or act compassionate toward these men and their violent ideologies, but if you have the means to try, it is something that you can do to make a tangible difference.

radicalized people are often only one loving friend or family member or external voice away from being de-radicalized. of course that is not always the case, but it very often is. a lot of y'all rightfully understand that you do not carry the burden of being that voice, but a lot of y'all also have a lot of internalized ideas about morals and punitive justice and have simply written off these people as deserving of only the worst and not worth saving.

ten years ago, my grandmother was a fox news watching republican who voted red in every election and very well could have fallen down the qanon rabbit hole if not for me and her daughter challenging her compassionately, walking her through hypotheticals that validated her feelings & proving why they were false, & being patient with her despite our extreme division in political ideology. it was frustrating fucking work! but i decided i wanted to do it, because i could see the horizon and i could see me making a difference!

"misogynists have been saying feminists are too mean for years, get new material" that is not the fucking POINT. the point is that you, feminist, can be the compassionate voice that guides your brother, your father, your cousin, your grandfather away from fucking becoming or staying a nazi. you can show them compassion and companionship. you can be the woman they think of when their alt-right bros try to convince them that women are the enemy. and you can choose to crystallize that image of yourself so wholly in their mind's eye as worth protecting that they may very well choose to reject those harmful ideas.

it's not saying you HAVE to do it! it's saying you CAN do it! don't you 'firebomb a walmart' people all love taking change into your own hands? where the fuck is that energy right now, huh?

[erinwantstowrite]

i think im not a fan of what dc keeps doing with jason because they keep having him, the abused, become an abuser in some way shape or form. and the classism they don't want to talk about (i am being so for real there is a genuine problem of both writers and readers who do not understand jason's background and it pissed me off so bad because it always shapes their opinion of him in the wrong way and they don't care to even try to listen). and how if they were going to have him come back they should have had delved into his identity crisis and the inherent horror of coming back but not knowing how or why or what to do about it and not knowing what you were doing while dead and having to deal with time jumping forward on you and the fact that you will never get the time back and no one will he the same as they were before you died and how isolating and lonely that would be. and they also definitely weren't prepared for the fact that jason was grieving his life and his death and his hopes for his mother and his dad who didn't get there in time and the dc writers are fucking cowards. which brings me to my next point: why do we keep listening to them about shit because they are quite literally always fighting with each other and projecting their own personal biases into characters (i.e. making them worse than they are/2 dimensional/trying to make them iredeemable so their favorite character gets to shine) and also they are all freaks of nature with a consistent problem of being God Awful People who why would we trust them with these characters. jason todd they don't get you like i do

[l-artemisia-del-secolo]

Death was inevitable.

You knew it, you felt it, you experienced it. All these years your existence as if was borrowed. Changing places, changing people, changing lives.

You didn't age. You didn't feel. You were stuck in the the neverending loop of lies and deception. You forgot who you were and where you came from.

Your jobs were unremarkable, your entourage - dull. No personal belongings, no memorabilia. Even your memories were almost gone.

It was a usual thing. You were spending your evening at work. For the last few months you were working at the restaurant. Blessed time. You could be on your own.

You heard the door open. But you did lock it.

"We're closed."

One look was enough to recognise her. Just a second and your heart almost burst from your chest. It was her. The inevitable, the dark, the devouring.

"Well, I opened the door. I hope you don't mind."

She was weirdly normal. No skull, no greens, no crown. She could fool anyone with this disguise.

"What are you doing here?" You were ready to protect yourself. Your magic was almost palpable.

"That's a weird question." She crossed her arms. "I came to see you."

"How did you find me?" You were hoping tables and chairs could slow her down. Even a second could be valuable.

"What kind of question is that?" Her amused laugh was an insult to the reality itself. "I never lost you."

"No. no. no." You shook your head in disbelief. "I am protected from your sight. Sorcerers..."

"Oh, those idiots..." She was adorable with her barely hidden disgust. "Noone can be hidden from me. And..."

With the wave of her hand all the obstacles disappeared.

"'... we're bound, my love. remember?"

With a flick of a wrist her way to you was covered in flowers. She made the first step.

"Stay where you are."

"Fine, fine." She looked around. "Nice place. You like working here?"

You couldn't believe it was really going on. Rio was almost polite. You were almost broken. What if she was telling the truth? What if you were never really hidden from her?

"Not much of a choice."

"Really? Sourceres lied to you about protection and they made your existence unbearable? And people call me evil."

"You are."

"How?" Rio was offended. Childish reaction to an unpleasant truth.

"You manipulate people into bringing you more souls."

"Oh, I do hope you're not being serious. I'm the guide, not a murderer. People always make their own choice."

Now it was your turn to laugh. Comedy indeed. With Rio having the main role.

"How dare you..." you took a few steps towards her. "When it comes to you, there's no choice at all. Not even an illusion. Not even for the living."

You were boiling with anger. You were shivering with fear. For so long you tried to avoid this.

"You're not being fair..."

"What are you doing here Rio?!"

"I want us to be together." She pointed to your heart. "I want you to come home with me."

Of course. Why even for a second you believed that you could be free. An illusion, your life without her was nothing more than a dream. She could easily shatter it with one word, with one move.

"We never had a home. We never..."

"Of course we did..." Images of your past appeared.

Yes, Rio did create a world for you. Just and simple. You could do whatever you wanted, you could be whoever you wanted. Everything was easy. And you were loved. Your home was with her.

"Rio..." Everything that was sleeping inside of you suddenly was awake. Yes, memories were appearing again. You felt overwhelmed. But then you gasped. No, you wouldn't allow her to trick you again. "... I won't allow you."

"I don't understand." Rio said under her breath. "I gave you the time and you're still angry."

Genuine confusion. A triumph for you.

"Time?"

"Yes, I gave you 100 years and you still don't want me..."

"You gave me?" lamps started flickering "I ran away from you!"

Oh, this was torture. Rio tried to get closer, but you raised your hand. A warning. The air itself started vibrating.

"The important part is..."

You invited the wind, it was silencing Rio.

"You wanted me to be trapped in your pocket dimension. You don't remember this? Veins of your world that were holding my wrists." You rolled up your sleeves. "Your creations always leave scars!"

"I made a mistake. I gave you the time...."

Rio's words were just an echo. You were once again reliving your worst nightmare. You were trapped. You were betrayed by someone you loved.

"What do you know about time?" You were so stupid to believe that you had a chance. You left the world you loved just to be dragged back in by someone who cursed you.

"I can heal them."

In a blink of an eye your scars disappeared. Painful reminder of your dreams, hopes and stupidity. How soothing it was to feel Rio's black power on you. Where the fuck was your survival instinct?

"It doesn't change anything. I left you."

"I wanted only to protect you."

"With a cage?" Now it was your time to show illusion. Shackles appeared around Rio's wrists, pulling her closer to you. "Do you feel protected?"

Where was her confidence? Where were her tricks? Those shackles were the weight of her guilt.

"I didn't want you to leave me like the others. It was the only way."

It was so simple for Rio. She didn't hesitate, she didn't think. It wasn't a game. It was so trivial.

"You broke me." You were choking on your tears. "You took away everything. Why tonight?"

"That day I broke the rules for you." Rio once again pointed to your heart. You remembered how her touch felt.

"I didn't ask you to."

"No." All the restraints disappeared. "You never had to."

One last step.

"You cursed me."

"I gave you the only thing I had." She touched your cheek. "And then I've made the worst mistake I ever could."

You hated her. How she was capable of showing deepest love and greatest disdain. Mistake? You were the one who had to pay for it. And now she was calling you back.

"We are bound." You shared the same black blood. Immortality. Her gift. What was the point of denying it?

You took the last step. It was so easy to find comfort in her embrace. There were tears in her eyes. Clouds of loyalty and promises.

Years of suffering were erased only because she called you. How could this be possible? Her breath on your skin was enough. It was so easy to give in. You shared the same life. It was so easy to convince yourself of her good intentions.

"Rio..." 

"Let's go home my love."

Death was indeed inevitable. 

[3-aem]

if u had the period cramp i just went through— it had me faint sweating numb and cold. it was so intense i was half convinced it wasn’t a cramp anymore and i was going to die and began composing a will on the spot at my coworkers bc as it turns out i would indeed rather die than call an ambulance in america

[inkskinned]

i haven't been back to CT since the accident.

which is to say I hate driving in CT, every time i have to go through it to get to NYC i spend the whole time holding my breath and hoping nobody acts stupid. there are exactly 2 things in CT worth preserving: rein's deli and the mystic seaport museum - and that second one only because my grandpa loved that shit.

now, i am not particularly familiar with the specifics but it just feels like CT is not an appropriate place for a christmas tree farm. when i got The Call, Roger on the other line called it "your standard CTF" and i had to say my what and he said "you've never heard that? CTF? christmas tree farm? CTF? - or haha, if you're woke, maybe holiday farm? haha".

i hung up after that for like 12 minutes just to take a deep breath and do a 10-minute meditation so i don't peak my blood pressure. and then i said sorry my phone died and ignored him talking while i googled. oregon has the highest number of CTFs per state. most firs and standard christmas trees are in zones 4-7 and CT is mostly a 6 state, so actually maybe i was just being biased against CT when i assumed you simply can't grow the spirit of christmas down there.

i like the name balsam fir and i keep repeating it to myself. i didn't know there were so many species of christmas trees. meanwhile Roger is still talking a mile a minute. "you don't gotta come in with force but really stick it to 'em. that's what Kevin and Herb taught me - none of that nice-guy stuff, okay? we're talking quick-and-easy. get in, hand 'em the folder, get out. it's efficiency that's the matter here."

i tune him out and then eventually get the pleasure of hanging up.

I only really work for this stupid place because i need insurance for my fucking laundry list of chronic "hysterical woman" issues (EDS, POTS, PCOS. probably something else with a fun acronym, why not). i fucking hate it here, except that it's actually been, like... fine? since the top 6 account managers kind of (i guess) disappeared - including my 2 bosses, Kevin and Herb.

most of us are just like, still doing our job. we still have meetings. there's less weird jokes. the meetings are much shorter. we just present our stuff and go home. so imagine how i fucking feel getting in my stupid honda civic and driving the 3 hours down from boston to bum-fuck just to... check on the boys.

i grew up on a farm, so im not too surprised when the road suddenly turns from "gravel" to "makeshift" to "shut the gps off, it's just confused at this point." no worries. a guy in a torn flannel drew a picture for me at the last gas station. he had leaned over and sniffed a little while sipping his Dunks. they got good trees.

they do. after a little white picket fence, suddenly the entire road is swarmed by them. firs on all sides like a coat. red twine marks off alleys of pine; cute little bows shine on the top of many. bells and white plastic deer and each branch dusted with glittering pristine snow. ornaments and little santas peeking out of present boxes.

i lean over the steering wheel and glance upwards. "aw shit. it's fucking cute here." in my passenger's seat, TERMINATION OF ACCOUNT is a red folder. i don't feel fucking good about this. i don't want to fucking do this. there's a freaking hand-painted sign saying family-owned! with handprints on it and tiny little names scrawled under it. jesus christ(mas). i'm 1000% going to hell for doing this.

on the other hand, Jen was one of the 6. like, losing the men was fine. but it is weird that jen never came back last month. i'm like, too feminist to feel okay with that. obviously yes quit your job and walk out but like - she had a life before she left. apartment and everything it sounds like.

i give up trying to bump my car over the potholes and end up walking the last 1.2 miles. it's been getting warmer these years, which i hate - but it's a lot colder here than i expected. the weather app said 54F. it feels maybe 21. the smell of snow warns me before i glance upwards - sure enough, decadent fresh flakes come tumbling down.

aw fuck. if it was gonna snow i should have put my windshield wipers up. i nestle closer into my jacket and pointlessly check my out-of-service phone for the 125th time. i realize only now i fucking forgot the folder in the fucking car.

the little house-barn-store is too close and i'm too cold at this point, so fine. the whole thing is covered in warm white lights and cute decorations. old christmas music is coming out of speakers placed at the end of the tree aisles.

i practice what i'm going to say. hi. i'm with Herrington Asset Management. we have sent, like. a lot of representatives. what did you do with the 6 entire human beings that came down here.

wait, why am i just now realizing our acronym is HAM? okay, so i'm going to say -

a man with a bright smile and a red flannel comes out from behind a work shed, wiping his hands on a rag. he's pretty, the way men can be pretty sometimes: rugged and approachable, blue eyes, 5'oclock shadow. he fills out that flannel well. "didn't hear ya come in, my apologies! what can i do ya for?"

i'm with HAM and I'm here to shut down your CTF. "hi."

"hi." he smiles wider. "welcome."

"um..." i sniff a little, feeling stupid. i keep thinking about my parents and how fucking hard it actually is to keep a farm. like, they say it a lot in movies, but it's genuinely like really very hard. fucking A, man. I don't want to do this.

he squints at me. "you from around here?"

i try not to bristle - is that because i'm fucking hispanic and allowed outdoors in CT - and suck in a breath. "no, i, um..." i decide to tell the truth. "a guy at cumby's told me where to find ya."

he laughs, and the sound is a sonic boom in the stillness. "that'd be Ron. he's a looker, huh? no, i recognize all our regulars, is all. don't recognize you."

HAM is located in Jersey and i work remote, so i take a second pass at radical honesty. my yoga teacher would be so proud. "i'm from boston, actually. just swinging through."

"oh? for real? laurel's from boston - she's my fiancée. how 'bout that. small world. can you believe - she left the big city for a dunce like me and now i get to marry the best lady around."

i do the little appropriate chuckle you are supposed to do when someone you don't know is also from the same major metropolitan area that you are from. also, that's extremely sweet to say about his partner. i am a sucker for wife-guys. "no kidding?"

"how are you liking conneticut? it's beautiful this time of year."

"it's..." fine? "more snow than i expected. weather said clear through 'til like thursday."

he offers me a warm hand. "i'm nick. what brings ya down here?"

i can't remember the name on the account. maybe it's in her name. and didn't i just say i was passing through? i flash him a smile while i think of the easiest way to warm him into the idea of shutting down his personal business. fuck. "um, just had some stuff to handle."

"that time of year, huh?" at my noncommittal smile, he waves a big, meaty paw. "come inside, i'll getcha some hot chocolate. laurel just made cookies."

he leads me into the store part of the building, and i stop for a second to pick up a tiny ornament shaped like a cottage. okay, this shit really is very cute.

"christmas really is the best holiday of all of 'em," he sighs. "wouldn't you agree?"

no, that's halloween. "sure," i say. i hold up the ornament. "this is nice." i glance around. "this is all... very rustic."

"sometimes you gotta just hit the brakes and slow down. this town is so perfect for that. places like this are so rare, ya know?"

oh i really fucking hope he doesn't know i'm from HAM. literally that would be such a vibe killer. "very rare," i agree.

i follow him into the back. i pause at the green velvet-rope stanchion that blocks off a hallway presumably leading into the "house" portion of the building. "oh. i can stay out here...?" because i am not going into this man's house. alone.

"don't be silly." he wraps his arm around mine like a gentleman and i almost scratch his damn eyes out, except i'm genuinely so fucking shocked by the boldness of the action that i just sort of follow him down the hallway. "i won't letcha leave without a cookie."

he walks me into a simply stunning kitchen. the ceiling skyrockets into a beautiful, tinseled roof. the living room folds out to the left of the kitchen island. a fire is roaring, and a massive christmas tree winks cheerily at me. outside the huge windows, the snow peacefully rests in perfect layers.

well, there's part of their money problems. they need better insulation because paying for heat in a building with this many windows has got to cost an arm and a leg. nevermind how much dust must collect on those exposed beams. why do people design houses like this - have they never cleaned?

also, they need to stop spending half their budget on christmas decorations. surely not every surface needs to be frosted with pottery barn items. it is dangerously close to a modernized cracker barrel in here. i wander into the living room, trying not to be jealous of the casual wealth.

nick stands next to me and chuckles. "this kinda weather always makes me want cookies. but that's what laurel's here for, i guess."

"you have a pretty place," i say, because i am clearly staring.

"oh, i don't know. needed a woman's touch." he winks at me and goes behind the granite kitchen island to wash his hands. "you shoulda seen it before laurel."

"oh yeah?"

he nods. "had some money troubles. 'course, she is an angel and organized a whole fundraiser. mind you - she's only been here but a second when she does. i proposed to her right then and there."

i can't help it. i genuinely fucking love that. "that is incredible," i say. "how precious to find love like that."

"she's my answer to all life's problems. truly."

"honey?" a warm voice greets us and a lady comes around the corner, one hand in an oven mitt. "do we have a customer?"

i stop moving.

her hair is darker now. her smile is wider. something opens a pit in my stomach and i fall through myself. i put my hand on my stupid useless phone and take a step backwards.

"oh!" her white teeth shine. "hi there. you're not from around here, are you?" she picks up a tray of cookies. "i recognize all our regulars."

the man laughs. "rob is tellin' on us again." she laughs too, tinkly and high and beautiful.

of course she doesn't recognize me, we're remote and don't work on the same accounts, i was never high up enough -

nick gives her a little slap on the back that makes her stumble. she laughs and wipes a little bit of flour on his nose affectionately.

maybe i'm not being fair. she could have legitimately found love and dropped out of our shitty job. he wraps his arms all the way around her and buries his nose in her hair. "my girl," he says.

"i'm laurel," she smiles at me. "i'm his fiancee. come inside, let me getcha some hot chocolate."

he picks up a cookie from the counter and waves at me. "i'm gonna go whack on a tractor for a few minutes, but i'll leave you in the capable hands of my beautiful christmas girl," he promises. "warm up, and then let's go back out there and pick you out something nice."

i force a smile at him and at her and watch him leave. i do not move. i stay perfectly still, like an animal. because here's the thing: her name isn't laurel.

maybe she's conning him?

i stare at her. she doesn't seem to notice, instead taking a bag of white icing out of the large, beautiful fridge. "how are you liking conneticut? isn't it beautiful this time of year?"

"jen, what the fuck is happening."

she arranges a single gingerbread man on her countertop and starts icing him. "how are you liking conneticut?" she repeats. "isn't it -"

"it's beautiful this time of year," i say.

"christmas is the best holiday of all," she sighs, "wouldn't you agree?"

"sure," i say. i put the phone in my pocket. i stand up straighter. "i am really just..." going to leave now. maybe i should try subtlety. "don't i know you from somewhere?" like, ya know, work?

the cookie is too hot and the icing is melting as she draws the outlines on the gingerbread. a bead of sweat trickles down her nose. "i'm from the big city," she says. "but now i am going to be married to the best man around. i'm his beautiful christmas girl."

"right, but which big city?"

"i'm from the big city. how are you liking conneticut?"

there is ice in my gut. i am getting the pure, foreboding sense of fuck that which i am pretty sure is genetically engineered in me. in spanish we call it espookies. i try to make it look casual while i walk closer and closer to the exit. i pretend to look at the decorations closely. "i'm just wondering because your partner said you're from boston?"

she laughs. the cookie icing is pooling on the counter. "sometimes you gotta just hit the brakes and slow down. this town is so perfect for that. places like this are so rare, wouldn't you agree?" she pushes the gingerbread to the side and starts working on the next one.

it's hot in here, i realize. too-hot. sweat licks down my back. i watch it slide down her neck, down her arms.

she outlines a melting gingerbread man. "what brings you down here?"

"i had..." i feel my voice crack. the hallway back into the store is within a few steps at this point. "...some stuff to handle."

"that t-"

"that time of year," i finish for her.

she stares at me. the icing has burst out of the bag and is melting down her wrists and over her apron. "doesn't this weather make you want cookies?"

i put one heel into the hallway, trying to back up as subtly as possible.

she looks up at me. icing melts over the counter. "doesn't the weather make you want cookies?"

i'm so close to making a bolt for it. but when i look at her and the icing and her perfectly applied lipstick i just fucking can't. my heart breaks for her. i need to at least fucking try.

"jen - laurel - whatever," i hiss. "i don't know what fucking happened but - we need to fucking leave." i glance behind me. "jen, this isn't fucking okay. whatever he's doing to you - we can get out of here. call the cops. something."

"it's beautiful this time of year."

"jen. come on girl, i will put you in my fucking car. but we got to go. i don't know if it's like a cult thing or -" i hork down a breath and feel dangerously close to crying. "please."

"doesn't the weather make you want cookies? that's what i'm here for!"

i take another step backwards and a hand comes down on my shoulder. when i jump, nick is back, and laughing.

"sorry about that." tucked under one arm is a huge ax. nick wipes his hands on a rag. "low on oil. you get a cookie from the missus? that's what she's -"

"balsam fir," i blurt. "i'm looking for a balsam fir."

he puts the axe over one shoulder. "oh? i love balsam. good choice. didn't expect a city slicker like you to know much about christmas trees." he lets out a laugh and so does she.

sweat is beading down my back. "i grew up on a farm," i feel my voice come out creaky and high.

he laughs again. "when you came in, i thought - this lady is corporate. you know how we take to that."

"money troubles," jen says from the kitchen. "we had money troubles."

my lips feel dry. i manage to slide by him, closer to the store. i force a watery smile. "oh. no, sir."

"they come in with a folder, talking about our CTF. i said i've been doing this for years."

my heart is slamming against my chest. i take another step down the hallway. i throw a look to jen.

she opens the oven and sticks her head inside.

"you know," nick says. "the firs are out by where you left your car."

i didn't tell him where i left my car. "oh, great." i say. "must be a sign." i take another step. and then another. i feel the weight of the velvet rope behind me and jump a second time.

"from the big city" jen says, her voice muffled by the oven. "how are you liking conneticut? this place needed a woman's touch."

at the other end of the long hallway, Nick swings the axe to come home in his hands. "it needs a woman's touch," he says.

yeah, absofuckinglutely not.

i turn and bolt, wiggling past the rope, stumbling into the many, many ornament displays. above me, white christmas rings out while i run-walk through wreaths and bobbles and reindeer. tears prick at the side of my eyes but being raised on a farm teaches you the professional art of being incredibly good at a panicked run-walk.

behind me, i hear nick pacing the store. the rope must have slowed him down. he's bigger than i am - he doesn't weave through things as easily. thank god.

i throw myself against the front doors and burst out into the chill and immediately feel a cough in my chest. the snow whips through the air. i dash past handmade right this way to holiday cheer! signs and tinsel. behind me, like a ghost, nick stomps his way ever-closer. i dart into the thickest part of the trees, hoping he will lose me in the snow and branches.

"you're from boston, right?" he shouts. "my ex was from boston. small world."

i dart across the wet snow and almost slide on the black ice underfoot. fuck fuck fuck fuck i cannot run a fucking mile in the cold. see above multiple chronic reasons for this. my bones and joints are already fucking hurting as i try to shimmy my way through the boughs, alternatively running and hiding. if i survive this, i wont be able to move for like a week.

if. good fucking lord. if.

"it's a nice place," he calls. i can't locate him in the whip of the snow. "it just needs a woman's touch."

thankfuckinggod im used to snow and blizzards because otherwise i would be utterly fucked. i try to keep any amount of calm in my body while i manage the slide-waddle of running on black ice - the backwards lean and body-tilt that i've practiced many times over farmland. the kind of tilt-run that is only possible if you've done it before. thankfuckinggod i'm not a city slicker - the trick isn't to rush.

but fuck it would be nice to rush right now!

over the speakers, white christmas restarts. i fork my keys through my fingers into a sharpened fist. i pause only for a second to pick up a particularly swingable gnome and then i keep fucking running. my chest feels like liquid fire. i can't stop coughing. christmas trees rise up on all sides of me. i can't get a breath down. the air feels like a fire hose. every step i take fucking echoes. go go go go go go.

i dart, he laughs, i freeze. i dash my way forwards. a branch cuts into my cheek. my nose is full of the smell of pine. my hands are sticky with sap and i'm covered in green needles.

i keep going. if i fucking die on a christmas tree farm i hope i poison all of the trees and end christmas. i run and hide and run and hide. i have no idea where that fucker is but i am not going to be caught relaxing for a moment.

my knee makes a particularly sharp turn and i know for a fact i've just done some serious damage. i slap my hand down onto it and hide inside the branches a particularly thick tree, trying to catch my breath for a second.

a family owned! sign winks up at me. the little handprints are the names of children, but the big ones say Steve and Piper. the date on it is from this year.

i simply do not have the time to care about that. i shiver through several calming breaths, trying to force my body back into running. i stumble into a clearing and recognize it as the road i took in.

something loud and banging starts and i know in my bones it's the sounds of a tractor starting up.

my heart drops and i seriously think about just laying down on the ground and letting him run me over.

except there is my car, blanketed peacefully in a white layer. i should have put the fucking windshield wipers up.

what-the-fuck-ever. my hands are shaking too much. i just need to get inside the fucking thing and go. i will ruin my suspension but i will take every pothole dead on if i must.

the tractor lights slice through the blizzard, heading right towards my car. it bounces jovially over the snow and potholes, unhindered.

nick is on the back of it, swinging his axe, laughing.

over the hum of his engine he calls: "how are you liking conneticut?"

Sending my most reliable corporate staffer to Connecticut to shut down a Christmas tree farm. Wish me luck

[theambitiouswoman]

I have been celibate for 3+ years & I wanted to share how this has helped shaped who I am.

Disclaimer: This is not me telling you what to do with your life and your bodies. It comes with zero judgement. I am of the belief that there is a season for everything, and we evolve into many different people in our life. I would be remiss if I didn't say that I definitely think it's a good idea to practice it. I do believe that psychologically, spiritually & emotionally having casual sex has a lot of negative implications for both men and women. However your beliefs around intimacy are purely up to you. Sex isn't bad, that's not what I am saying, but when you are having sex with someone you are absorbing their energy, and the energy of their past lovers too, so having sex with the wrong person can really ruin you.

Honestly the idea of anyone touching me if they do not meet my needs emotionally, mentally, physically etc absolutely disgusts me. I have never been of the type of let anyone "have me" but even more so now. Remember that when you start treating yourself differently, your perspectives and the things you are attracted to also start to change.

Maybe some girls don't understand this so I am going to say it. You do not have to sleep with a man for him to like you, love you, treat you well, or buy you things. If you haven't experienced this, you may not agree. But this is my reality and the reality of so many others, so yes it is actually totally possible.

I will say that the first year can be difficult but after that it gets much easier cause your mindset changes. I recommend taking that first year to really dive in and analyze your relationships, work on your wounds etc. Feeling lonely is something I see come up a lot, and while human beings are not designed to be alone, you should not feel lonely and that is probably a good starting point to work on with yourself if that is the case.

Anyway, these are some of the changes I have experienced:

1. Greater mental clarity and can focus more on personal goals, career & self development.

2. Reduced emotional turbulence. Creating better emotional balance and inner peace.

3. Realizing self love and self worth come from you, rather than seeking external validation. It reduces stress, increases self awareness & provides identity outside of others.

4. Higher standards, better boundaries. Intimacy is a choice, not a necessity. Being unable to control your lust is a weakness. Understand that falling in love purely through sex is lust, wounds and attachment / abandonment issues, need for validation, insecurity etc.

5. Insane increase to intuition.

6. Gives you control over your body and life. It allows you to be more selective about who you let into their personal space.

7. Increased creativity & passion to channel into art, projects, or other personal endeavors.

8. For those recovering from past trauma or heartbreak, celibacy can be a time for healing and self reflection. It offers the space to process emotions, heal old wounds and rediscover yourself.

9. No energetic enmeshments with toxic souls, which btw you are absorbing all of it. Grosses me out any time I think about it.

10. Even prettier than before (but i'm sure not entertaining toxic men and drama contributes to that as well)

11. People are even more drawn to be because of my strong sexual energy & pure aura.

[arc-misadventures]

What are thise

Willow says to weiss " turning down the arc boy was your biggest mistake

Weiss " I know. I know i am dumbass. I picked thar over the dragon " points to Neptune

The Dragons Treasure Horde

Weiss: Mom! Did you really sleep with, Jaune Arc?!

Willow stared at her daughter before placing her cup of tea down on the table.

Willow: Well, that is certainly one way to start a conversation...

Weiss: Well did you?

Willow: And, what if I did~?

Weiss: Oh gods... my mother slept with my friend...?!

Winter: D-Did you do this to help, Jaune accept me as his lover?

Willow: Oh no, not in the slightest my dear. Jaune wouldn't possibly accept such an offer; If offering the, Schnee Diamond to him didn't make you his bride to be, then certainly not sleeping with him would work. No, no, I slept with, Jaune because I wanted to~!

Winter: You wanted to sleep with a boy... Weiss's age...?!

Willow: No, I wanted to sleep with a man who is a better person that your father ever could be, and a man who is four times bigger than your father~!

Weiss: Ewwww!

Winter: H-How big is he...?

Willow: Listen girls... You know how loveless your father is emotionally.

Weiss: All to well...

Winter: Not to mention how abusive he can be...

Willow: Yes, since you know how loveless our marriage is, you don't want to even imagine how our sex life is.

Weiss: Knowing about, Mom's sex life with dad is worse than with, Jaune...

Winter: That's putting it lightly...

Willow: Girls, I met a handsome, well mannered young man who politely respected me, and my daughters. A man who was given the opportunity to acquire one of the Schnee's most prized family heirlooms in exchange for my daughters hand. And, he refused it, saying he would want to know my daughter before even the thought of marriage came to him.

Willow: If I had met this man when I was younger I would have probably married him, and would have had a loving family with him. But alas, I couldn't. So, while I was enjoying a wonderful time chatting with this reputable young man, and trying on new jewelry to replace all the fake ones, Jacques bought, and were subsequently eaten by, Jaune... I decided to seduce this man on the spot, and I managed to do so quite easily~!

Winter: H-How...?

Weiss: Winter?!

Winter: I want to know, okay?!

Willow: I'll tell you how, but only if you decide to pursue him in all sincerity. If you do that, I will tell you how I did it.

Winter: O-Okay...

Weiss: I thought you weren't interested in him?

Winter: I...?! I... I don't know... I've never been sure about love... so... I'm curious okay? Jaune seems like a really nice guy... And, he has mothers approval, so...?

Weiss: Well... He has matured a lot since I first met him...

Willow: Oh, he certainly has my approval~! Why after receiving some very interesting news last night, I suddenly developed a second wind... A rather vigorous second wind~!

Weiss: Eww...

Winter: What news did you receive?

Willow: My dear daughters... I 'regret' to inform you that you father is currently in a jail cell in, Vaccuo.

Weiss: He's what?!

Winter: H-How did that happen?

Willow: Apparently, Jaune Arc is the owner of the, Gem Refinery, the worlds largest producer of fine gem stones, raw, and refined minerals. What he also carries with that those accolades, is that he is also the owner of worlds second largest raw Dust, and refined Dust producer: The Fleck-Stone Industries.

Weiss: I was aware of the first part, but I didn't know he was the owner of. The Fleck-Stone Industries?! I can't believe I'm friends with fathers bane...?

Winter: Jaune is the owner the, Gem Refinery? Hmm... Atlas receives nearly sixty percent of its raw ores, and refined metals from them. Why wasn't I made aware of this?

Willow: Apparently, Jaune preferred to keep a low profile, and had several representatives to act as his proxy when it came to his business dealings. It wasn't until recently when, Jaune was ousted as this, Dragon King by your friend, Blake Belladonna, that his identity of being the owner of the Gem Refinery, and the Fleck-Stone Industries was made public knowledge.

Weiss: Oh, that makes sense why no none knew.

Winter: He didn't tell you?

Weiss: No. In fact, none of us knew he was a faunas until, Nora discovered his fangs when he yawned.

Willow: You said, Jaune was infatuated with you; Do you think it was because he was trying to usurp the, SDC through marriage?

Weiss: No, Jaune liked me because he thought I was giving him a complement when in fact I actually was insulting him...

Winter: You insulted him, and he thought it was a complement...?

Weiss: Jaune's has never had great luck with woman... until recently that is. In all honesty, father would be the one who would be trying to set us up together to usurp his company.

Winter: I find that rather plausible. He has tried to sell me off for a quick buck several times. But, what does any of this have to do with father rotting in a jail cell in, Vaccuo?

Willow: As you are aware the, SDC various, Dust mines are located in, and around the, Kingdoms of Atlas, Vale, and Minstrel. But, after the destruction, Atlas wrought upon, Vaccuo, and it's people, the people of, Vaccuo have no interest, nor desire to let any, Atlasian business within their boarders.

Willow: But, the land is rich with, Dust, and your father is a greedy whore. So, he has been trying for years to get a foothold in, Vaccuo. But, all the dust mines to be found in, Vaccuo are under, Jaune's control.

Winter: So, for your father wished to gain a foothold, the best way he could do that was to claim one of, Jaune's mines. But, both of his plans to usurp one of his mines failed... rather drastically at that.

Winter: What happened? I expect that father tried to buy out one of his mines.

Willow: He tried two things. He had his private militia force, Winter's Caw attacked, and try to steal, Dust from one of his mines. While he, and a few of his personal guard went to another mine to buy them out.

Weiss: And, what happened?

Willow: The militia were annihilated by, Jaune's sisters for threating children. And, after, Jaune's other sister refused Jacques offer, he threatened her, and she threw him in a jail cell for threating her, and destruction of business property. And, because of that, Jacques is not resting in a jail cell.

Weiss: Oh no... When are you getting him out...?

Winter: More importantly: Are you getting him out?

Willow: Well, Jacques's lawyers have been sent to get him out, but I doubt they will be all that effective. Evidently, they are already forcing, Jacques to stay in prison where he will be subject to hard labour for at least six months. That should be more than enough time for me to remove his taint, and reclaim the SDC under a true. Schnee's leadership.

Winter: You planned this with, Jaune didn't you.

Willow: What? Absoultly not! I did not conspire this with, Jaune in the slightest!

Weiss: Oh that's good to...?!

Willow: It was one of his sisters...

Winter: Haa... You do know I have to let, General Ironwood know about this?

Willow: What of it? This may be an international incident between, Atlas, and Vaccuo. By the time all the red tape has been dealt with he will be freed anyway.

Winter: Yes, but father is part of many dealings with the SDC, and the Atlas military. They will try to get him out as soon as possible. Least their pocket books take a rather drastic hit.

Willow: Ahh yes... Corrupt, and greedy politicians...

Willow put her cup down, and rose to her feet.

Willow: It seems I best get going... There is much work to be done, and the sooner the better. Goodbye my dears.

Weiss: Goodbye, Mother.

Winter: Have safe travels.

Willow: Before I go I must leave you with one word of advice. Weiss, you let an absolute catch of a man slip away from you.

Weiss: I know... I'm question my taste in men, if I fell for a womanizer than someone like, Jaune...

Willow: And, Winter... I'm not saying you have to marry this man... But, I'm saying that you should at least see where it could go. Take it from me, You're rather no live with regrets when it comes to love. They hurt more than any wound could possibly make.

Winter: I'll... I'll try mother... I'm not experience with love, and romance... But... I'll... I'll try... I swear!

Willow smiled as she leaned down, and kissed her daughter on the forehead.

Willow: I know you will... Goodbye my dears!

Winter: Goodbye mother!

Weiss: Take care!

The two sisters smiled as they watch their mother walk away with a notable limp in her steps.

This warm sisterly moment was swiftly broken as a group of hormonal woman came rushing in.

Blake: Where is she?!

Velvet: Where's the milf, Schnee?

Yang: I have questions I need to ask!

Pyrrha: She's gone...

Coco: Gods dammit!

Weiss: W-What are you doing?

Coco: We want to know how she did it!

Blake: How did your mother seduce, Jaune?!

Velvet: We must know this!

Winter: ...

Weiss: ...

Winter: We don't know...

Weiss: And, we won't tell you even if we did...

Yang: NO!

Blake: Thieving Schnee!

Velvet: You have to steal everything from us faunas!

Pyrrha: We can just ask, Jaune you know?

Coco: I know. But, I like the juicy gossip~!

~~~

Willow was humming to herself as she made the way to the landing pad when to woman came up on her sides.

: Hello, Mr. Schnee.

Willow: Oh? Hello, Ms. Goodwitch, how nice to see you!

: Mrs. Schnee...

Willow: Why hello, Ms. Sienna Khann... What an unexpected pleasure~!

Glynda: We heard you spent a night with our dear, Knight...

Sienna: We need you to tell us what you did with our dear, Dragon King.

Willow: Hmmm~? We... While I am a kiss, and don't tell kind of girl. I know you fine ladies wouldn't tell those little children how I did it, now would you?

Sienna: Now why would we give up an edge to win the, Dragon King's heart.

Glynda: We're also kiss, and don't tell kind of woman. But, a little gossip between woman, there's nothing wrong with that, no~?

Willow: Not at all ladies... Not. At. All~!

[marzipanandminutiae]

the one thing I am full-bore conspiracy theorist about?

daily contact lenses

or, well, not their existence, period. they're a valid health option that is best for some people, medically. but the sheer aggressiveness with which they're being pushed nowadays

the last few times I went to the eye doctor for my annual check-up, she was HEAVILY on my case to switch to dailies. like, to the point of arrogance and condescension when I said I preferred to stick with monthlies (I've worn contacts since I was 12, for reference). I also posted about it on a forum and got massive negativity in response, as well as being talked down to by someone claiming to be an optometrist himself

now if this were like...anti-vaxxer sentiment I'd understand that reaction. but from what I've heard, while monthlies do carry a higher risk of eye infections and such, they're not medically unsound or unsafe across the board. I'm willing to accept that risk, and since science has not found that they're terrible and should immediately be discontinued, I feel like my wishes should be respected and not belittled

point two: plastic waste. they say it's somehow less than using monthlies, but frankly I just don't see how that's possible. 365 of those little eye chips- times two! -and their packaging, add up to less than a case and a bottle of solution every few months, plus 24 contacts and their packaging? it doesn't make sense to me, and it doesn't help that I mostly see contact lens websites repeating this "fact." of course all contacts produce plastic waste, and I'd be perfectly willing to accept this as one of those You Have To Consume; You Just Decide What Areas Of Your Life Are Optimal For Minimization of Waste And What Aren't things, if dailies weren't being pushed so hard

(also I found two studies showing that monthly-replacement soft lenses produce less plastic waste than daily disposables. which, like. yes, this should be obvious, but here we are. granted, that's only two, and both studies emphasize that dailies and their accoutrements can be recycled, but see below)

some big companies have "contact recycling programs" but like. who's to say that's not greenwashing? where's the oversight? where are the investigations into what these programs actually DO? god knows we've been there before with recycling and corporations trying to pull the nylon-poly-blend Vegan Wool(TM) over our eyes

they're also more expensive than monthlies, which like. does not lend a positive slant to optometrists pushing them so stridently

on top of that, I and some other monthly users have noted that our contacts aren't lasting as long as they used to. for me, it was 17-18 years of smooth sailing with barely any problems, and as of like a year ago my contacts barely last two weeks without clouding up, ripping, chipping at the edges, causing my vision to blur, becoming uncomfortable...my brand did change around that time, so I hope it's just that, and the sample size of other monthly users I've pooled is VERY small. but it sure seems interesting that they suddenly started pushing a product that doesn't last long enough for people to notice low quality, around the time that at least some users of the longer-lasting version start having problems

you're pooh-poohing all of my concerns- which are indeed backed up by science, it seems! -with a "fix" that relies on big companies being honest about recycling, to push me from a non-ideal but still medically sound option to another that makes you more money?

I'm normally a pretty grounded person but I'm full-on tinfoil hat about this one

[sigh-the-kraken]

Welcome to the Tumblr Reading Exams (T-Rex).

You will have 10 mins to read the following 4 parigraphs and answer the 1-5 questions that follow. If you are not sure about an answer to a question, try eliminating incorrect answers or skip the question and return to it if time allows. You may not return to an earlier reading after you have passed STOP.

Good luck!

Reading 1: Shoelaces

I and the besties, Fallon and Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (Enoby), went out on Saturday to The Toadstools; the Toadstools is where all the elf raves happen in Seattle. Enoby had a life-long ban from The Toadstools because of her part in the Great Elf-Vampire War of 1330, so Fallon and I went in without her.

While we were at the bar for drinks, two blond elves approached us. The elf carrying a staff flirted with Fallon while the other elf, who had a bow on his back, made intense eye contact with me and clenched his hands into fist. Finally, he looked down at my shoes and pointed to my shoelaces.

"I like your shoelaces."

I choked on my drink and felt my chest constrict; the hair on the back of my neck stood on end, and a sharp pain stabbed through my skull.

"Thanks," I said, "I stole them from the President."

Reading 1 Questions:

Which of these options is an antonym for "besties" in the story above? a) Foes, b) Girlfriends, c) Lovers, d) Foes.

Based on context clues, why was the speaker's friend banned from the Toadstools? a) for inappropriate language, b) for being too "goffik", c) war crimes committed during war time, d) failed vibe check

How does the speaker feel when the elf points out their shoelaces? a) Fear, b) Despair, c) Shocked, d) All of the Above

Who are the speakers' besties? a) Fallon and Ebony Dementia Darkness Way Raven, b) Fallon and Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, c) Fallen and Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way, d) Fallon and Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way

STOP. Once you pass this point, you may not return to Reading 1.

Reading 2: The Boop Wars of 2024

I sit upon this ridge to weep; below me the field does rest, where once 519 million came, then 519 million left. Here, we grow our pumpkins: orange, white, and sour greens with curling vines reaching world-wide between old banners' poles and beams.

My sweet kitties do wander there among the pumpkins and beams, where once I booped 10,000 ruthlessly with evil toe beans.

Reading 2 Questions:

What is the speaker in the poem feeling? a) remorse, b) nostalgia, c) melancholy, d) all of the above, e) none of the above

What is a synonym for the word 'ruthlessly'? a) humanely, b) viciously, c) relentlessly, d) gently

Which definition of 'field' is most accurate to this reading? a) an expanse of land with natural resources, b) a plane on which something is projected, c) a particular area where information is recorded, d) a battlefield, e) A and D, f) A, B, and D, g) none of the above

STOP. Once you pass this point, you may not return to Reading 2.

Reading 3: The Tagless Post

On September 5th of 2024, Definitely-Spirit-Halloween gathered together their 8:00 am class to complete a simple assignment together; Steve, Cloud, and Castiel were late for class, and did not participate. For their assignment, the class simply had to interact with a post; they were asked to reblog, like, add polls, add pictures, roleplay, get funky with it, but they were not allowed to tag it. In the reblogs, there was twenty-two pictures of cats, seventeen polls, two recommendations for videogames, three sing-a-longs, and an edit of a squirrel with a gun. Despite being told not to, ten people still tagged the post.

Reading 3 Questions:

What is the teacher's name? a) Definitely-Spirit-of-Halloween, b) Definitely-Spirit-Halloween, c) Defiantly-Spirit-Halloween, d) Infinite_Spirit_of_Halloween

Who did not participate because they were late? a) Sherlock, Dean, and Steve, b) Dean, Laurence, and Cloud, c) Steve, Cloud, and Destiel, d) Steve, Zim and Charlie, e) None of the above

Which of these was not something the class could do with the post? a) like, b) get funky with it, c) add gifs, d) add pictures, e) roleplay, f) edit, g) A & C, h) B & E, i) A, B, and C

When was the class? a) 5:00 am, b) 8:00 am, c) 10:00 am, d) 7:30 am, e) 12 pm, f) None of the above

True or False: the post was tagged? a) True, b) False

STOP. Once you pass this point, you may not return to Reading 3.

Reading 4: The Finale

Congratulations! You've made it to the finale. The questions following this paragraph will test your memory recall for everything you've read. Please remember that you may not revisit the instructions or any other part of the exam. Good luck.

What animal was given a gun in Reading 3?

What was the name of this exam?

What color are the pumpkins in Reading 2?

What word was misspelled in the instruction text?

What color were the shoelaces in Reading 1?

Which reading had a question with the same correct answer printed twice?

Which reading had the only True or False question on the exam?

You have reached the end of the exam. Please put your pencil down and wait for your proctor to collect your exam.

To test tumblr’s reading comprehension…

you can do ANYTHING to this post, reblog, add polls, start a fuckin roleplay in the notes, like it, I don’t give a shit.

BUT

you can’t add tags

[storiesfromafan]

Or Something - Mattheo x Reader

A/N: I want to say a MASSIVE thank you to everyone that follows me. On Tuesday (my time) I woke to find out I hit 600 followers!! 🫢

I know majority are those that follow me for my Mattheo works, and a lot of new followers are for Austin Butlers character works I've been writing. I am still thankful for all of you!!!

I also want to thank those that I recognise reblogging, hearting and commenting 💜💜💜 I see you and it always makes me smile to see you, and all of you too!!

So, to celebrate I wrote a Mattheo x Reader for the occasion 😁😁😁

Warning: briefest drug mention, fluff

Prompt: “So, are you seeing them or something?”

Mattheo didn’t like how guys looked at you. He didn’t like how they talked to you. Hell, in general, he hated them. Why do you ask? Because they weren’t your best friend, and secretly in love with you. That was him, his life.

Watching guy after guy talk to you, flirt with you, shoot their shot. All the while he hoped one day you would see how he saw you, wanting him like he wants you. Always and forever. But till then Mattheo had to endure this endless nightmare.

“Mate, you should just tell her!” Groaned Theodore passing his friend a joint. “No doubt she fells the same”.

Taking the joint, Mattheo sighed. “How can you be so sure!? I can’t risk ruining my friendship with her!”

Lorenzo looked to the two and said, “I get where Mattheo's coming from. What if she doesn’t exactly feel the same way? Things will be different in our group, and it would be awkward for all parties".

The three were sitting by a large tree, far from the Castle on this fine afternoon. Both boys had seen how worked up Mattheo had been after another guy decided to talk to you. Rather then Mattheo getting detention for beating up or cursing the guy, both Theodore and Lorenzo dragged him away. Once at the tree Mattheo opened up and told them everything, and in depth. How it pissed him off, how he felt for you and how he was a hop, skip and a jump from murdering so many male students.

“Yeah, alright" retorted Theodore. “But what if she did feel the same way? And by not speaking up is just hindering your happiness together?”

Lorenzo leant around Mattheo to give the guy a surprised look. “I am shocked you know how to use hindering, and are the voice of reason for once”.

Theodore rolled his eyes while flipping off the chuckling boy. Mattheo remained quiet, smoking the joint and hoping it will calm him, and his frazzled nerves. They both made good points. And were like an angel and devil on his shoulders. He just needed a scrap of conformation that you felt the same as him, and he would put himself out there.

“I can’t tell her without knowing how she feels, even just a tiny bit" Mattheo sighed, passing the joint to Lorenzo.

Both boys looked to their friend before both saying, “then we’ll find out!”

Mattheo didn’t know if he should be relieved or scared. For those two finding out information can go either way, such as they could do the job right or fail and blab. He truly hoped it was the former. Because the idea of you learning about his feelings, from them and not him, terrified and annoyed him.

The following day, during morning break, you were sitting in the courtyard in the suns warm rays. You were helping Pansy with some last minute Potions homework, not wanting her to be subject to Snape’s wrath. Mattheo, Theodore, Lorenzo and Draco were near by, sitting around talking shit. Which was annoying Pansy. Who eventually told them all to shut it.

Theodore stuck his tongue out at Pansy, while Mattheo and Lorenzo laughed. Draco didn’t do or say anything. With a huff from the girl next to you, you smiled returning to the book and parchment before you. Yet, you found yourself sneaking glances at Mattheo. Admiring his boyish smile and laugh, as he pushed Theodore for something he had said. Noticing how the humour reached his chocolate brown eyes, happy to see him having fun.

“(Y/N/N)!” Pansy whined, “I need your help!”

Focusing back on your friend and the task at hand, you had to put staring at Mattheo on the back burner. There would be plenty of time to admire him. To day dream of being more with your best friend. And yet, it was just that, a day dream. You doubted he saw you any more than a friend. He might care, but not enough to be more then what you both were right now.

With some frustration you finally managed to get some of the homework through Pansy's thick head. The pair of you packed up your parchments and books, relived to be done. And with time to spare before your next class, which was potions. You both stood, stretching while your friends remained where they were. Of course Mattheo was watching you, always watching you. Just not when you’re watching him.

“(Y/N)!” Called a Hufflepuff guy from your year, his tone warm and giddy.

You turned in the direction – as did Mattheo – and you smiled seeing Andrew. You waved to him, then said something to Pansy before walking over to him with your bag over your shoulder. Mattheo watched how you bounced over to Andrew, and how you both smiled, laughed and talked.

Lorenzo and Theodore noticed it was only them that were talking, upon looking to Mattheo they noticed his gaze. And following it they saw why their mate sat quietly, eyes a blaze with jealousy. All three sets of eyes watched the interaction between you and the Hufflepuff. And to really get on Mattheo's goat, was the fact Andrew was on his houses Quiddich team. And their last match against each other had not gone well. Andrew got a lucky shot on him, and Mattheo was knocked from his broom.

So, his hatred for the guy was next level. First the Quiddich match, and now talking to his girl. And you were happily chatting away with him. Were you into the twat? Were you dating him? All the possibilities just added fuel to Mattheo's hate and jealousy.

Getting to his feet, and ignoring his mates, Mattheo moved towards you and Andrew. Only the Hufflepuff was lucky to have left before his arrival. Andrew was laughing with his mates as they headed back to the Castle. You smiled, only to jump when turning to find Mattheo beside you.

“Oh my God, Matty!” You exclaimed in surprise, before playfully hitting his arm. “Don’t sneak up on me!”

His gaze – which had still been following Andrew – turn back to you, heated and not happy. It was jealousy, but you didn’t pick up on it. “So, are you seeing them or something?” Came his annoyed question.

You blinked, confused by Mattheo's words. “Huh?” you paused, before registering his question. “Oh! No! Oh my gosh, no!”

He didn’t buy your words. “Really? Seems like it, or something’s going on...”

“No Matty, really there’s nothing going on!” You said in a rush. Flabbergasted that he’d think you and Andrew were a thing.

Sure, the guy was nice. Kinda funny. But he was also full of himself and cocky, in an annoying way. Unlike Mattheo, who’s cockiness was charming, if that even made sense. Your best friends full of himself and cocky nature was fine to you, not bothering you. But Andrew, it felt forced. Like he was over doing it. It did nothing for you. Unlike when it was Mattheo, it checked all your boxes.

Your best friend show you a slightly dark look, which hurt you. “Honestly, I don’t care who you spend your time with. Date whoever you want!” He spat.

You were surprised, and saddened by his words. “Matty...” you said softly, voice cracking a little. “I’m not dating him, or am interested in Andrew...or any one. Well, except for one guy, but...forget it".

The way you spoke, the tone and the look on your face broke Mattheo. His face dropping into a guilty look. Before he could say anything – mostly apologise and beg for forgiveness – you took off for the Castle. And he swears he saw a tear or two. Pansy knocked into him as she rushed after you, looking back to shoot Mattheo a death glare.

Running a hand through his brown locks, he sighed in annoyance with himself. How could he do that, let his jealousy and anger get the best of him? And upsetting you. He wanted to kick his own ass at this point. His mates came up and offered a sympathetic look, before they too headed to the Castle. Mattheo straggling behind, dragging his feet.

The previous day you had avoided Mattheo. Choosing to keep your distance. It was safer then dealing with his mood. You didn’t get why he said what he said, and looked at you the way he did. Why did he care so much about if you were dating Andrew? Honestly, it’s none of his business whom you date.

Shaking your head you went back to the large book before you. You’d taken to hiding in the library this evening. Thinking that studying would be a smart way to distract yourself. Unfortunately, it didn’t offer much of a distraction. For your mind wondered to Mattheo, or Theodore and Lorenzo. It had been almost a whole day of avoiding them all. And you were getting bored, missing them all.

You wish you could say you knew this chapter on poisons, but even reading over it numerous times, the information never sticking. Brown curly locks and warm chocolate eyes plagued your mind. He always had. These feelings you had for Mattheo never went away, even when you tried your best to push them to the back of your mind.

With a sigh you closed the book. It was pointless. Getting up from your seat in the back corner of the library, you grabbed the book and moved to the rows of shelves to put it back. It was getting late also, which mean it would be time to head back to your house. Reaching a quiet section, you read over the books until you found the space for the book in your hands. Once it was in place you smiled softly running your hands down its spine.

There was something about the feel of an old book and its cover. Paired with the silence of the library, you felt content. Turning to head back the way you had came, you jumped, hand flying over your chest. Leaning against a shelf behind you was Mattheo. His eyes watching you, the way he looked at you was like a wounded animal. Leaning back against the wall you took a moment to calm your racing heart, and taking a few deep breathes.

“Sorry I scared you...” he said softly, almost like he’d spook you if he was too loud.

You nodded, unsure of what to say.

Silence filled the gap between you both. Mattheo’s gaze on you, watching your every move. While you look down, yet snuck a look every so often. How could almost not seeing each other feel longer then it was? A day felt like a week to both of you. Mattheo missed your laugh and sweet words. While you missed his presence and Mattheo’s smell; aftershave and cigarettes.

Finally, slowly, Mattheo push off the shelf and took a few steps before you, but stopped before getting too close. “(Y/N/N), I wanted to apologise for how I acted yesterday...I shouldn’t, nor did I have the right, to act the way I did or say what I said".

You could hear the genuineness in Mattheo's voice. You could see it in his eyes. He truly was sorry.

You nodded. “It’s alright Matty...” you replied softly.

He nodded. “Just promise me...promise me it’s not Andrew that you like, yeah?”

You looked at Mattheo confused. “N-no, I’d never be interested in him" you paused a moment, “w-why did you say that?”

He shrugged, looking down at the ground like it was fascinating. “You said there was a guy you are interested in...” his tone was tight, a bitterness to each word. “There’s a small list of guys I hate, please don’t let it be any of them".

You listened, processing Mattheo's words and his tone. You weren’t sure but it sounded like he was angry, but then it hit you. “A-are you jealous!?” You gasped in shock and surprise.

His eyes flew up, looking to you in a panic. “W-what!? N-no!” He stammered, taking a step back. Panicking because what you said was true.

You took a step forward. “Y-you are...why?”

Mattheo remained where he was, eyes blown wide as his mind and heart raced. You were close to learning the truth. And he couldn’t have that. He couldn’t have you knowing the truth. How he hated other guys giving you attention, wanting you. Or how it was him that wanted you, needed you, loved you.

You studied the boy before you. The frightened look up his face, how he acted, the words he’d said. Slowly the dots were adding up. And you think – hoped – you’re conclusion was right; that Mattheo Riddle liked you. Your breath caught at the idea, heart picking up its pace. You were excited at the idea, yet you still needed confirmation.

Slowly and shakily, you stepped up to Mattheo. Both your eyes watching the other. This was it. What you were about to do, about to say was going to make or break your friendship. And you hoped he felt the same way as you, and finally you could be happy taking your friendship to the next level.

“Matty...” you said softly, just for the both of you to hear. “D-do you...d-do you like me?”

“O-of course! Your my best friend!” Was his rushed reply. Frightened that your question was you making sure he didn’t like you in a way that could break your friendship.

Yet when a sad, hurt expression crossed your face, did he think for a second he was wrong. Did you want it to be more then friendship between you? Did you like him as more then a friend? You slowly nodded your head, stepping back. Which broke Mattheo's heart. So without thinking, he reached out a hand and grabbed your wrist. Halting you from putting anymore distance between you both.

Your (colour) eyes snapped up, meeting Mattheo's chocolate brown ones. Silently pleading to be let go, yet he wouldn’t. Not till he knew for sure. Moving forward, he brought you closer to him. His other hand moving to cup your cheek. Mattheo searched your eyes for any hint of you wanting him to stop, that you didn’t want him like this. But to his surprise he didn’t see any objection. Surprise and hope. That was all he needed.

Taking that last step, one that he couldn’t come back from. Mattheo leaned in, lips hovering over yours. You could feel his warm breath upon your lips, his eyes looking to yours, giving you one last chance to stop this once and for all. Feeling a surge of confidence, you were the one to close the last sliver of a gap, lips finally meeting.

It was a soft, gentle kiss. Lips press together for a moment, before pulling back to hovering once more. You both looked at the other, seeing the joy and wanting in the others eyes. Mattheo finally moved the hand holding your wrist to your waist, before wrapping his arm around you and bringing you flush against him. Chest to chest. The hand cupping your cheek warm, his thumb caressing your cheek.

Mattheo then he pressed his lips to yours again, only this time harder. He tilted his head as he ran his tongue along your bottom lip. Without hesitation you opened your mouth, his tongue entering just as quickly. Your tongues met, moving together in quick caresses. Your eyes closed enjoying this passionate kiss with Mattheo. Without realising it, Mattheo moved forward, which had you moving backwards, until your back hit the wall. He caged you in, as well as hiding you both a little more.

After a while, you both had to pull back, your breathing heavy as Mattheo rested his forehead against yours. You both looked to the other, silly smiles on your faces. Giddy with how much you had longed for that moment.

“It was you...” you said softly, “the guy I like...”

Mattheo chuckled. “Yeah, I figured that now...”

Guess he didn’t need his mates help after all. All it took was him getting jealous, upsetting you and apologising for this to happen. Mattheo doesn’t regret it, or your first kiss. But he wish he’d known sooner that you felt the same way, so he wouldn’t have had to be jealous of Andrew.

[jazeswhbhaven]

Successful Hunt in Heaven | React | Spoilers | Full Summary

Alright ya'll here I am.

And it's bad news from me.

I...did not particularly enjoy the story whatsoever.

TLDR if you don't wanna read my entire react: Don't waste your seals, just wait the three months

Now, some of ya'll may like it cause you're that big of a Satan stan, but he has a ship with my OC and a fankid and I'm STILL shaking my head at this. Like why ya'll do him like this, PB?

What I will do different for this react is, basically bullet summary as most of this card is what it is and then give ya'll some highlight screenshots that I found mildly amusing.

What goes down from the prologue(part 1):

MC is feeling cocky about being in Gabriel's body and almost fucks it up but saves themselves. Because of that cockiness though, they are literally just brain mush the entire story.

Things to note, that Satan was in restraints, those restraints were tight but not tight enough to where he could still speak and move enough. He was cussin' MC out ya'll like how he should cause he hates Gabriel.

I would want to say that this is a good revenge potential but it wasn't. Essentially MC didn't disclose that it was them who was disguised. The entire time Satan believed it was Gabriel who was touching him, jacking him off, and allowing lower angels to touch his dick. Even if it's just the tip.

MC even went as far as to punch him in the stomach? Punched him good until he was close to coming.

MC wanted to take off the chastity belt, which to me? Nah. You wouldn't even know how to use Gabriel's dick, let's not. Couldn't even properly cum or jack off.

Turns out though that Gabriel is not conscious this entire time. He has no idea what's happening.

Long story short, Satan is getting molested, punched, and traumatized in front of an audience thinking he had feelings for Gabriel and that's why he was aroused and reacting. I don't even feel like the specifics here because it was just that rushed and bland of writing for this. What happens in the end, mind you this is very last part of the story. Satan finally realizes it's MC. The spell breaks, they go home on his motorcycle, and he only went there because there was an angel with MC's hair color.

Ya'll. Satan is not that fucking dumb. Sorry not sorry, but like he can be a goof ball, but he'd never mistake an angel for MC in his entire life time. That wasn't Satan, that was his lost twin Sam or something.

What I expected:

I honestly thought this was going to be similar to Levi's story. Satan got captured due to being weakened by something, perhaps a new trap the angels set up, the restraints being so good he couldn't escape, and he and MC roleplaying in front of the angels and they get so lost in it that's what breaks the spell.

I wanted Satan to be like "MC looks like Gabriel, which pisses me the fuck off but I know it's them so I'm fucking horny as hell and I just want to feel good. This is how it would feel being teased and licked by an angel..."

But nope. Got MC being badly written, pretty much going in on Satan and playing into their own weird kink of pretending to be a high rank angel while punching, and jacking off Satan. There wasn't really any point to it half the time, if Satan hadn't of clocked them in the end, he would have never known it was them at all even though MC was being very sloppy on acting like how Gabriel would torture someone.

Good Parts:

Satan's expressions, and Satan cussing MC out thinking that they are Gabriel.

Satan questioning his attraction, he just can't place why "Gabriel's" touch is arousing him and he can't understand why this angel he hates so much looks so turned on by this moment.

Satan pretty much saying at the end that he's going to go in on MC's ass when they get home. Like I'm pretty sure all holes will be s o r e because MC insulted him, punched him, slapped him, choked him, made him cum forcefully like three times from both dick and horns.

Satan's dick looked pretty in the position he was in and I liked his little red underwear. Click here for the goodies~

The okay?? why?? parts:

MC allowing the angels to touch him. Gabriel for one if he was in character would never allow them to touch his "prey". Like? What and who was this for?

Satan not being able to tell who it was for the majority of the story. He's a King tbh, so he should have seen through the spell.

Satan being a dummy dum and getting himself kidnapped because he thought MC was captured by mistaking an ANGEL that looks nothing like them....

Being robbed of the Satan's potential in the roleplay scenario. Imagine if you will-

Satan knowing that it's MC, and he's trying so hard to make it believable that he doesn't like any of what's going on. At the same time, MC is doing an impersonation of Gabriel so well he can't help but get upset. Why is MC so good at this? Do they actually like Gabriel enough to mimic him? Fuck that. And fuck being kidnapped and in these restraints. He wants MC so badly. To pull off that charade and to get fucked so deep there's nothing but rage flowing from the both of them. And did he really find some attraction to the angel? FUCK THAT. What a stupid thought, so stupid it pisses him off too. Only MC can make him feel a series of rage and jealously swirled so deliciously he wants nothing but that in his veins.

MC's personality being even more unsavory than usual. If ya'll compared to how they act in Levi's torture card you'd swear they were just suddenly taking on some odd sadistic personality that has nothing to do with them nor Gabriel. Er'body was confused.

The audience, the angels, Satan, just...lol

Overall Rating:

4.5/10

Like...idk ya'll the fourth Satan card was just a let down. The other three he has were so much better. Even the adore mode was ass. I wanted to see him moving, cussin' and spitting. The VA put his entire foot in this and it doesn't match Satan's energy in secret club at all. Might as well just play it on SFW mode if you wanna hear his VA moan some fierce in your ear.

Nice homage to Hellraiser, could have used a cooler name imo but OH WELL. Pinhead would be shaking his head rn.

NOW don't get me wrong, some of ya'll may like this. And if you do, please don't @ me or come for me as it's not that serious. I was frankly bored ya'll. IMO It's not worth wasting your seals just wait for it to be available in the regular banner. My expectations for how Satan would react in this moment was downplayed. Even if I felt like shipping the angels with the kings, this just didn't hit.

Live photo of one of Ronove's cats disapproving.

OKAY Screenshot time~

He is legitimately so pissed off ya'll I was like OH

Yeah because you were just goin' off the rails....it's a good thing you at least had the angels hang in the back otherwise they would have clocked you MC.

I just like his face here. Mhm mhm.

Apparently ya'll that is the face of a sinner. Satan is a filthy filthy sweat covered sinner (laugh with me because lmao)

I'm crying. So it's just shrinking, growing, shrinking, growing, just being confused as fuck the poor wang noodle.

Oh Satan....he's so angry the poor bby. This would be hotter if he was irritated by something I truly did. Lol

At the same time, I feel these lines would be good for that roleplay...

I'm crying because Gabriel doesn't talk like this and yet Satan still hasn't caught on yet.

Now Satan, don't discredit virgins...some of them be knowin' a lot more than you think. (right now tho "MC/Gabe" is kissing him through the gag)

again. gimmie dis face. he does the eye roll orgasm so well.

here we go again with that fishy smell thing

Gabriel in his sub conscious rn

He can get away with calling us a bitch. I'm a bad bitch. A baddie. I'll insult you any day Satan just because. He'd call it foreplay.

LMAOOOOOOO

So that ends with the screenshots ya'll. You see how there wasn't really much to show because it's basically just what I said in the summary? But anyways, I did get a peek at a couple things that bumps the rating up for me to a 4.5....(note the changes)

Date Story/Chat Summary:

This time around Satan sustained more damage and the marks left behind are staying longer than usual. Sitri thinks this is a problem, Satan don't give a shit because MC gave them to him.

Satan getting jealous of MC requesting him to get healed because he thinks they learned it from another healing devil is cute.

He's very cuddly, we knew this but it's just nice to see this again.

MC and Satan have a talk about what happened up in Heaven and well it's also nice to see him be serious about his feelings and how MC should feel, etc. Mature Satan is mature.

He can smell when MC is horny btw. Idk this is so hot of him. But I also always had a HC that all devils could smell just about anything. When your cycle is coming, ovulation, other bodily things.

He likes the fact that MC was confident enough to insult him so boldly even though he pointed out they were in Gabriel's body.

He can't stand it that Paimon sews his decapitated teddy bear heads, the cotton is supposed to leak. At the same time he likes that Paimon adds sparkly beads for the eyes so it looks like they "glow"

His hand are so pretty with those sharp nails.

He has so many photos of his motorcycle he has two phones. He loves his bike that much to where he refers to it as his lover.

He doodles when he's bored at meetings.

That does it folks!!!! As per usual, if you've made it to the end thank you thank you to my dear moot/friends who help fuel my delusions and ramblings. Without ya'll my blog would just be...whelp a bunch of Astra in your face lmao (honestly tho she should be she's great)

Stay lovely, love up on your bois, -your lovely admin💖💕

[onlyangel4]

cowboy like me. ls2. smau.

logan sargeant x cowgirl/small town country singer!reader

in which logan thinks he has lost everything but a trip to the south helps him find the love of his life.

author's note: grant is a fictional character, for this he is one of logan's best friends.

faceclaim: ella langley

y/ninsta

liked by y/bff, friend1, friend2 and 431 others

tagged: y/bff

y/ninsta: life lately

view all 23 comments

y/bff: has nutmeg decided to not be a dick anymore

y/ninsta: how many times do i have to apologise for my horse

y/bff: she almost killed me!

friend1: can't wait to see you perform this weekend, gonna cheer embarrassingly loud

y/ninsta: i'll take all the support i can get

logansargeant posted a story tagging grantwilson

written: trusting grant with directions was a bad idea, we are 100% lost right now

y/ninsta posted a story

written: playing here tonight, if you loved me you would show up and listen to my silly little songs

y/ninsta posted a story

written: tonight's fit

logansargeant posted a story

written: recharging with some live music in nashville

y/ninsta posted a story

written: about to introduce a man to nutmeg, this is going to end terribly

logansargeant posted two stories

story one written: this is nutmeg. shortly after this photo was taken nutmeg tried to kill me. i shall be riding a different horse today

story two written: this is billy, he didn't try to kill me

y/ninsta posted a story

written: i am once again riding nutmeg because she tries to kill everyone but me

grantwilson posted a story tagging logansargeant

written: i just picked logan up from the ranch, this trip is going just how i planned it

y/ninsta posted a story

written: i think i clean up pretty well

logansargeant

liked by y/ninsta, alexalbon, grantwilson and 1,293,382 others

tagged: y/ninsta

logansargeant: three months ago grant forced me on a roadtrip that i did not want to go on. and i ended up never going back to florida. i was at a very low point mentally and i had no idea what my next step was going to be but meeting you changed my life.

y/n your light has helped me in ways you will never understand, thank you for always being around to listen, for teaching me how to ride a horse and always being up for fun little adventures. i love you so much and i can't wait to see what the future brings us

view all 183,384 comments

y/ninsta: i am obsessed with you

logansargeant: promise me, i am more obsessed with you

grantwilson: just call me cupid

logansargeant: no

y/ninsta: no

alexalbon: so the man that used to make fun of me for having a zoo now lives with animals

y/ninsta: two horses, three dogs, two cats and two rabbits

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

@bibissparkles

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