#what about the bard 2021

[kqluckity]

how some people can look at Zhongli and Venti's dialogue during this Lantern Rite and interpret it as beefing instead of, you know, flirting truly blows my mind? like it's not just what they're saying, but also the way they're saying it. it's flirting, they're flirting. and even if they aren't flirting, that's obviously an inside joke? look at Venti's face when Zhongli acts like they're strangers, does it look like someone who can't stand the other and isn't willing to play along with the other's dumb idea? please. I don't understand how people can still think they hate each other even tho it's established that they're friends, not only through items lore and their own character stories (I really doubt someone like Zhongli would let a guy he hates forge his sigil, let him destroy his precious vase, let him pour wine on his head, and then yearn for him for 500 years bffr), but also in the first Liyue Archon quest Zhongli talks about "a friend from Mondstadt" who used to bring him wine all the time, and Venti has a "refined gentleman friend from Liyue" he wishes he could spend more time with. a friend he still visits often, so much so that madame Ping commissioned Tubby to make a Mondstadt-inspired house for the teapot with good acoustics so he could play inside with no problem.

[lanternlightss]

looking back at posts and its so fun seeing exactly which two characters in genshin i was hyperfixated on and that even after like three years it has not changed Once 😭

venti and nameless bard have me wrapped around their fingers istg

[deramin2]

Fate really does not work correctly around Critical Role.

So many things happened that weren't really supposed to that lined up events so that the last episode Sam played in before cancer surgery was the fight with Otohan and the most logical last move was FCG self-destructing.

FCG was a reflection of where Sam was & what he wanted to explore in 2021 when he was healthy & joking he liked exploring other people's damage because he had none of his own.

As someone who also had a serious illness, there's a huge wall between who I am now & who I was before.

Somehow things lined up such that getting near the end of Sam's last episode for a while, he had a chance to express everything FCG had learned and experienced through their journey about themselves and the gods while neatly ending their story in a really meaningful way.

It wasn't planned that way, but it really was probably the best possible scenario for the story overall.

I know I probably could not play my pre-illness characters again. They'd be different people because I'm a different person. I think a hard permanent demarcation is good.

Just another wildly improbable series of events that end up having a bizarrely fitting narrative structure in a real world that isn't supposed to have narrative structures. I've joked for years that Avandra has their backs, but she really did have a place for her little robit.

I'm immensely glad the outcome is we get to see Sam back at the table exploring things he was missing out on with FCG like being horny and charismatic and lying. Life is short, play a sinking hot evil Minotaur Tragedy Bard/Oath Breaker Paladin propositioning everyone.

[vintagerpg]

Looking at some recent RPG books this week starting with this beauty, Caer Mundus: The Lost Realm (2021). It’s a system agnostic attempt to reconstruct a plausible Celtic world for RPGs (the people we call the Celts didn’t write anything down, so what we firmly know about their culture is pretty scant). It’s emphatically psychedelic, with mind-altering substances (particularly mushrooms and red honey) fueling magic, visions and bravery.

There’s a ton of tools in the book: dogs, horses, heroic rivals, a system for tracking acclaim (and social stigma), tables galore. There are templates that present Celtic versions of Bards, Druids, Rangers and Warriors that can be laid over most system’s character creation systems. There are, of course, many spirits and monsters derived from the surviving mythologies of the British Isles (selkies, dullahan, coraniaid and so on).

Perhaps the most interesting part of the book is the epic quest line, the Song of the Blaze Above. It begins with an omen of apocalypse, which spurs the three old kings to attempt to purge the ellyllon, a sort of fae culture that has co-existed with humanity. The quest sees the players recruited to unite the three kingdoms (installing new kings if necessary) in order to prepare for the coming battle with the true threat: an army of ogres (who, through their naming, are highly implied to be Romans, at least metaphorically). That battle has three potential flavors: one where humanity can triumph, one where humanity is doomed and one where the ogres are a red herring and the fae are the true threat after all. It’s neat to have all the events mapped out, and pretty clear how you can map them to a system of your choice. Along the way, characters grow from scrawny whelps to epic heroes. There’s an Afanc. What more could you possibly want?

Grim and gritty art throughout, in the vein of Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay, but slightly lighter and more realistic. You can catch glimmers of a way of life here. The cover is by Sawblade, whose art has decorated many a death metal album cover. My pal Darkwizard Berserker did the logo.

[taraljc]

Tortise Media has posted episode 5 in which two more women came forward to tell their stories. The audio is not working on their website, but it is working on Spotify.

The synopsis posted by Tortise Media is behind the Read More cut.

(I tried to add against to the ongoing discussion thread however it is very long, and it was not showing up under the tag.)

The two new accounts — published today in a new episode of ‘Master: the allegations against Neil Gaiman’ — have been corroborated through documents, emails, and messages seen by Tortoise as well as through interviews with friends and family who the women confided in. Gaiman did not provide any on-the-record response to multiple detailed requests for comment on either set of allegations.

Caroline Wallner lived in a house on Gaiman’s property in Woodstock, New York between 2014 and 2021 with her three young daughters and, until 2017, her husband. Alongside her work as a ceramic artist in a studio in a barn on the property, Wallner and her husband worked for Gaiman and his then wife Amanda Palmer, including doing property maintenance, gardening, and grocery shopping. Gaiman had moved to the area to teach at Bard College.

Around the time Wallner’s marriage ended in 2017, which she said devastated her emotionally, Gaiman told her ex-husband that there was no more work for him on the property, which had provided the family’s main income. Wallner and her daughters were now dependent on Gaiman for work and housing. While she was in this situation, Wallner, then 55, said that Gaiman began pressuring her for sex.

Wallner said: “There were little hints of, ‘we’re going to need the house’. And I remember saying, let’s talk about it. Let’s figure it out. That’s when he would just come to my studio and make me give him a blowjob”. There is no suggestion of physical force, but rather of coercion in light of her housing and family situation. Wallner said: “And he can say it was consensual. But why would I do that? It was because I was scared of losing my place”, characterising Gaiman’s treatment of her as “sexual abuse.”

The UN defines sexual abuse as actual or threatened sexual contact by force or coercive conditions. The UN’s refugee agency, where Gaiman is a goodwill ambassador, has described the allegations against him published by Tortoise as “very serious”, adding that it is “assessing the detailed reporting”.

During Gaiman’s oral sex with Wallner, she said “he used to say to me ‘Call me your master. Tell me you want it. Tell me you want it.’ He would choke me sometimes.” Wallner recalled one incident where she had fallen asleep reading in bed: “When I woke up, Neil was in the bed and he put my hand on his cock.”

Wallner said that whenever she resisted his sexual advances, Gaiman would tell her Palmer wanted the house back where she lived with her three daughters, as well as the studio she worked in. Wallner recalled one occasion when she said Gaiman told her: ‘‘but you take care of me and I’ll take care of you”, understanding it to be a reference to what she called the “sexual trade”.

Gaiman’s position is that his relationship with Wallner was entirely consensual and denies any wrongdoing with her. His account is that their sexual encounters were instigated by her.

Palmer did not respond to multiple requests for comment.

When Gaiman left the Woodstock property during the Covid pandemic, Wallner said she felt “so, so relieved”. But then Gaiman began sending her sexually explicit photos and videos of himself, asking her to send him ones of herself. After Wallner stopped answering Gaiman’s sexual video calls, in June 2021, she said his business manager told her to vacate the property by December that year.

Gaiman’s position is that this request was always a possibility, as Wallner had been living there with her family rent-free for the preceding six years. This position does not acknowledge Wallner and her ex-husband’s work for Gaiman and Palmer while she lived on the property.

Gaiman’s business manager initially offered Wallner $5,000 as compensation for leaving the property, requesting that she sign a confidentiality agreement. The area saw the highest house price growth of any US metropolitan region during the pandemic, so Wallner asked for more time to find affordable housing for her and her daughters.

Wallner said she was treated for depression and post-traumatic stress during this period with the financial support of a friend. After finishing her stay at a therapy centre, Wallner emailed Gaiman’s representatives on 9 December 2021, saying she had tried “to come up with an amount that I feel justifies signing a release that in essence takes away my agency to speak freely about what I went through. 300K is what I came up with. 150 for the real estate issues and 150 for the sexual ‘trade’ issue – something that I am trying to come to terms with. Therapy alone is costing a fortune.”

Gaiman settled with Wallner for $275,000 and a non-disclosure agreement less than two weeks later. The NDA “disputes and denies that Wallner has sustained any losses, damages, or injuries for which Gaiman is legally responsible.” Gaiman’s position is that he settled with her to avoid expensive and protracted litigation.

The NDA prohibits Wallner from talking about Gaiman with “family members, friends, associates” and from filing, reporting, or prosecuting any action or proceeding in “any court, governmental agency, or before any tribunal whatsoever or wheresoever”. If Wallner is asked to make disclosures by a “valid legal process”, the NDA says she must give Gaiman 20 days notice and help him resist disclosure.

New York courts have voided NDAs that sought to frustrate official investigations and, across the US, NDAs are void when they attempt to limit reporting of criminal allegations by an alleged witness or alleged victim.

Gaiman’s position is that his NDA with Wallner makes no reference to law enforcement and that there is nothing to report anyhow. His position is that the NDA used language that was deemed appropriate to both parties’ experienced lawyers.

Andrew Brettler, who has acted for Russell Brand, Danny Masterson, and Prince Andrew, represented Gaiman. Wallner said she is looking for new legal representation.

She said she wanted to speak out against feelings of “fear and shame – those feelings don’t belong to me”. She said she wanted to tell her story to support the first two women who came forward, adding “the fact they were the same age as my daughters now was painful to hear.” Wallner said that the trait she shared with the two women wasn’t age, but vulnerability. “Saying ‘yes’ to an exchange with a powerful, wealthy man when you are vulnerable and fearful is never simple or clear,” she said. “Even if it’s seemingly consensual.”

***

Julia Hobsbawm OBE was a 22-year-old book publicist when in 1986 she was with Gaiman, then 25, at her studio flat in Chalk Farm, London. Hobsbawm said: “I literally have no memory of how he came to be back there. What I’m totally certain about is that romance was not on the cards, not for me. And I did not believe it was on the cards for him.”

In what Hobsbawm said was “an aggressive, unwanted pass”, Gaiman “jumped” on her “out of the blue”, forced his tongue into her mouth, and pushed her onto her sofa, before she wriggled free. Hobsbawm said she then cut off contact with Gaiman. She says she now wished she had called Gaiman out back then as she is plagued by the incident to this day and worries that she enabled his alleged misconduct to continue.

Gaiman’s account is that when he realised Hobsbawm wasn’t receptive to his attempt to kiss her, he stopped. His position is that it was no more than a young man misreading a situation, adding that its inclusion alongside criminal allegations – from Tortoise’s earlier reporting – would mischaracterise it.

While Hobsbawm’s allegation might appear less serious than other allegations against Gaiman, English criminal law defines sexual assault as one person intentionally and sexually touching another without their consent, and that there is no reasonable belief by the alleged perpetrator in the other person’s consent. It does not necessarily involve violence, but it can cause severe emotional distress, which is why authorities treat it seriously – and why Hobsbawm said she remembers the incident.

[kuwdora]

Witcher Recs - Villains & Bad Guys Edition, part 1

Please enjoy these 23 fic recs featuring Emhyr, Dijkstra, Radovid, Vilgefortz, and the Wild Hunt. I tried to indicate what witcher canon is predominant but sometimes people blend the canons. I'm a voracious reader when my brain lets me read, and I read so many different things. I have many tastes! I haven't done a witcher recs post since 2022 and I have 18 billion more recs in the pipeline that I had collected since like 2021.

With any luck and squeeful motivation I'll share more villain recs in the future.

These recs feature mostly rarepairs. I'm still experimenting with formatting these recs on tumblr, let me know what y'all think on that front. Hope you enjoy the fic!

This got pretty long so I'm putting it under a cut.

Emhyr

Prickly Urchin by @seventfics. Game canon. Dijkstra/Emhyr. 2200w. Pre-relationship and tagged ‘Shady Rich Parties with Questionable Ends.’ Based the prompt ‘cursed’ and Dijkstra meets a prickly Duny. Few people still alive can say they've met the emperor before his ascension to the Nilfgaardian throne. A young Count Sigismund Dijkstra is one of them. It's just that neither of them knew.

A great little AU/missing scene, tackles the premise of these two meeting shortly after the Law of Surprise in a great way.

the sweetest flower by @witch-and-her-witcher. Ambigious canon. Emhyr/Yennefer. 700w. Explicit. Oral sex, cunnilingus, power dynamics. Satisfaction comes when Emhyr relinquishes power.

The way Cee opened up my brain with this ficlet made me gorge myself on everything in the Emhyr/Yen tag after I first read this. The possibilities of this pairing, whew. This ficlet sdlfjasldfkjasldfkjasl.

Quills by @bittydragon. Game canon. Emhyr/Geralt. 7500w. Teen. PTSD, Flashbacks, nonsexual touch. Emhyr can feel the quills and claws growing from underneath his skin again. It’s only a matter of time before they burst out—so it’s lucky that a witcher has ended up in his rooms.

There’s so much great Emhyr/Geralt fic out there, and I’m such a fan of this one because of Geralt managing to soothe Emhyr during an anxiety attack.

Animal Symbiosis by @seventfics. Game canon. Emhyr/Dandelion. 3400w. Teen. Soul bond, Fake/pretend relationship. An emperor and a bard accidentally tie their souls together.

I can’t get enough of where sevent’s ideas take me. This pairing sounds wild on the surface and it is but I am so fucking compelled by the dynamic, esp when it’s been an accidental bonding.

Wild Hunt

Schneeweißblind by jo_writes_fic. Game canon. Emhyr/Eredin. 2200w. Explicit. Temperature play, political sex, unsafe sex. Pre-TW3. Eredin’s been coming to Emhyr’s temporary court in Vizima for several months now, about once a fortnight. At first it was to weasel information out of Emhyr, to try and find Cirilla, but the elf quickly learned that Emhyr knew less than the king of the wild hunt himself about his daughter’s whereabouts. And once he realized that, their meetings turned into the pretence of a tentative political alliance to cover up the carnal truth of what really happens when Eredin deigns to visit. Ice magic and masochist Emhyr.

My brain whited out from how brilliant this fic is and I think it changed my brain for the hornier.

Plaything by @eatingcroutons. Game canon. Geralt/Wild Hunt. 100 words. Explicit. Rape. Voyeurism. Eredin and his Riders enjoy making use of Geralt in their down time.

😈😈😈

Outplayed by zemyr. Game canon. Geralt/Wild Hunt. 100 words. Explicit. Rape, size difference. Remix of crou’s Plaything.

🔥🔥🔥 This drabble lives rent free in my brain.

Commander’s Discretion by @witch-and-her-witcher. Game canon. Eredin/Geralt. 100 words. Explicit. Anal fingering. Eredin has a soft spot for pretty, lethal things under his possession.

😳 Cee still making me go wild with this drabble.

Radovid

Spymasters and secrets by @dancingwiththefae. Show canon. Radovid. Radovid/Dijkstra. 3400w. Explicit. BDSM, daddy kink, impact play. Radovid always pushed and pushed Dijkstra. Sometimes he needed to be put in his place.

Faye serving up a heaping mess of with this messy messy Radovid with Dijkstra. I could have put this in the Dijkstra section but ahhhh I wanted it here with the Radovid fic. 🔥

Villains Aren’t Born, They’re Made by ALJordan. Game canon. Radovid/OC, Radovid & Philippa. Mother/son relationship. A storm counts omens as Radovid hunts Philippa Eilhart to stand trial for treason.

The worldbuilding with the OC and vibes and characterizations in this fic are outstanding.

The Shade of Your Eyes by @kuwdora. Game canon Radovid & Philippa. Post game, canon AU. Body horror, existentialism, magical theory as torture. He remembers the weight of the crown that used to sit upon his head but he doesn’t remember his own name. Anger and resentment curdles because he cannot recall his mother’s face or the last food he ate before he died but he knows the source his ire. It originates from the woman who chortles when she sits at the table. Her laugh stokes the rage in his disembodied soul.

Philippa tortures Radovid’s soul. Radovid POV. I couldn’t help but play around with the darkfic idea for Phil getting some revenge.

Don't worry I have a whole other stack of Philippa fic to rec later.

Dijkstra

You Seem To Enjoy The Feeling by galactic_roses. Game canon. Dijkstra/Gaunter. 2800w. Explicit. Dijkstra has made a deal with a merchant of sorts in exchange for something he values above all else: information. However, the price he has to pay is not quite what he was expecting, and now he has to face the consequences of his words. Sharing a body, smut, body horror, some more tags,

My favorite tag from the author: dijkstra is an adult he can enter into a sus contract with a sort of demon man if he wants to. This is like the most galaxy brained rare pair idea and can’t stop thinking about it when I consider rare pairs that changed my brain.

Diagram: Master’s Weapon Repair Kit by butt_muncher_seven. Game canon. Dijkstra/Geralt. D/s, PWP, 2500w. Djikstra knew men the way Geralt knew monsters; how to kill them, how to hunt them, what their motivations were, what they were going to do next. And in Geralt he saw a man about to do something incredibly rash and self-destructive. A normal man would've gone home, drunk himself stupid and got in a fist fight with the nearest person he could beat. Maybe he'd recover, maybe he'd burn his life down around him, because the chaos of such upheaval was worse than the certainty of reprisals, of consequences. It was the kind of thing a skilled spymaster knew how to counteract proactively. For a less valuable player he had less personal means of redress, but for Geralt… Geralt required a personal touch.

This Dijkstra fic is my everything and I fling the link to anyone I can because it’s so fucking good.

Hostages by @limerental. Isengrim/Dijkstra. Book canon. 26k. Mature. Rescue missions, fairy tale elements. When Isengrim Faoiltiarna's commando is taken captive by the Aen Elle, Sigismund Dijkstra must play unlikely hero in order to come to his rescue.

Lim’s written so much great Isengrim/Dijkstra that I want to rec it all but if you are a fan of some plot and amazing storytelling, hostages is a great gateway. Click to see Dijkstra’s feelings for Isengrim as he mounts a rescue for his old elven husband.

He Comes With Gifts by @bittylildragon. Game canon. Dijkstra/Geralt. 4800w. Explicit. Slice of Life, King Dijkstra, snarky Geralt, PTSD and more. A little slice of life with King Dijkstra and his sometimes-resident witcher boyfriend.

I live for bratty snarky Geralt and Dijkstra putting him in his place. It’s fucking delicious and hot.

Bath by GilliganGoodfellow. Dijkstra and Bart. 1200w. Mature. Fluff and humor, slice of life. Dijkstra gets a relatively good idea of how his evening is going to go when, while descending into the basement to check on his troll, he slips on the ladder.

I can’t help but love anything with Bart and Dijkstra and this is so cute and lovely.

Bloody little beast by @gleaming_silence. Game canon. 100 words. Gen. Domestic Gruff. Dijkstra with a kitten. Even after Geralt broke his other leg, daily life goes on for Sigi Reuven and Novigrad’s underworld never sleeps.

This fic was written for me so I love it. Cutest drabble for a Novigrad crime lord.

Degradation for degradation by @limerental. Book canon. 1700w. Explicit. Geralt/Dijkstra. Humiliation, facials. Over a decade later, Dijkstra finally has the opportunity to repay the humiliation Geralt subjected him to in the wake of the Thanned coup. He doesn't expect both of them to like it so much.

I can’t get enough of this Geralt and Dijkstra dynamic. Eating it up with a spoon and always wanting more.

Vilgefortz

The Need For Love, Revolting by ptork66. Show canon. Rience/Vilgefortz. 2200w. Explicit. Dubcon, posessive sex, choking, drugging, bdsm. Vilgefortz wants to consume Rience like Rience’s fire consumes the air.

🔥🔥🔥 Fucked up fic for a fucked up pairing. All the kuwdos from me.

the mirror man by seasofglass. Show canon. Rience/Vilgefortz, 12,000w. Mature. Canon divergence, d/s, manipulation. When a mysterious benefactor frees Rience from prison after the fall of Cintra, he decides to play along in his dangerous game and try to further gain Vilgefortz' favor. Little did he know that playing with fire was the fastest way to also get burned by it.

This is a messy intense look at Rience getting swept up in Vilgefortz’ plans. The shaving scene drives me up the wall in the best way. I love me posessive fuckedupness in this pairing.

Yours, lock and key by zemyr. Ambiguous canon. 100w. Explicit. Rience/Vilgefortz. Master/Servant, magical sex toys. prompt: possessiveness kink deluxe while fucking.

Zemyr’s fic melts my brain in the best way, and the drabbles are 100 words of hotness.

Staves by @sassaffrassa. Show canon. Geralt/Vilgefortz. 100w. Explicit. Object insertion. inappropriate use of vilgefortz's magical staff.

😈 This drabble gets me cackling.

Ouroboros by @kuwdora. Show/book canon blend. Geralt/Vilgefortz. 20,000w. Explicit. Show/book canon blending, fanon continental art history, illusions, sexual fantasy, dubcon, masturbation, d/s, body worship. Geralt turns Vilgefortz proposition down at Thanedd. Vilgefortz makes a Geralt painting and masturbates to it and it spirals into an elaborate sexual fantasy.

Okay this is the fic that ate my brain while writing it last summer. It has layers of book and show references, literary inversions and way too many metaphors.

You know that tumblr post "you're so obsessed with imagery and symbolism, you stupid homo"? That's this me with this fic, lmao.

So come for 20k of Vilgefortz wanking to the Geralt fantasy in his head. Warning that the fic seemed to have driven the 8 people who managed to read and finish it and sounded insane after reading so take it with a horny grain of salt.

Previously on Kuwdora's Witcher Recs:

Istredd Recs

❤️❤️❤️

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

venti birthday art captions ranked by how gay they make him and the traveler sound

2024

The morning sun is pretty pleasant, isn't it? Ehe, you can barely keep your eyes open. Here, come sit with me and enjoy the scent of Cecilias! They'll perk you up. Ah, I lost track of time just chatting with you... Wait just a moment, I'm almost done! You haven't eaten apple pie in a long time, have you? Then I'll make us breakfast today~

2021

Oh, is this apple for me? Haha, that won't do, come share this apple with me. Split it open like this...and you will feel the breeze from the apple core. In some fairy tales, it is written that there is a whole tiny world hidden inside an apple core, and this breeze is a gift from the tiny world. Here, this half is for you. Once you're done eating, let's take a stroll in the tiny little world. But remember to keep it a secret and don't tell anyone else. That's because... you're the only one I want to bring there.

2022

Yahoo~ Look up, I'm here! It's been a long time, my warrior, ready to tell me your new story? Haha, you want to know if it's for my verses? Oh, don't make that face. I just want to hear about your adventures, isn't that reason enough? I want to know more about what you saw on your travels or the lives of others. The most important thing for me is to hear you talk about your own experiences and what you think about them. Come on, come sit next to me. This bottle of aged cider will be enough for us to chat from first dawn of the morning light until the stars cover the sky.

2022 (Web Event)

Paimon: Look, it's the Tone-Deaf Bard! / Venti: Heh, I was just wondering when you two would get here. / Traveler: Venti, it's your birthday today. / Traveler: Do you have any birthday wishes or anything you want to do? / Venti: Mmm... Then stay with me to chat and walk around. If we could go for a drink after, that would be great. / Paimon: These are all pretty normal... I would've thought a god's birthday wishes would have more of that "boom shaka-laka." / Venti: Hehe, that "boom shaka-laka" isn't from what you're doing, but who you're doing it with. / Venti: Right, Traveler?

2023 (Birthday Short)

"Together with you, even apples taste sweeter. But something isn't quite right, it feels like... I'm gonna s—sneeze."

2023

Caught you~! The farther your journey takes you, the less time we have to spend together in Mondstadt. But... I knew I'd run into you today. Quick, just sit down, right here! It's a rare chance, so allow me to croon you a dulcet tune, accompanied by the melody of the water's revelry.

2021 (Birthday Short)

"Paimon's back! Paimon picked a lot of big, fresh apples! Hey, where did the Traveler and Tone-Deaf Bard go?"

2022 (Birthday Short)

"Hey, Tone-Deaf Bard, we've been looking for you! Didn't expect you to be here!" / "Haha, Traveler and Paimon! You guys came just in time. Here, special apple juice made just for you. Try it~" / "Hey! Where's the special apple juice for Paimon!?"

2023 (Web Event)

Traveler: Happy birthday, Venti! / Paimon: Tada— Paimon and the Traveler made this apple cake for you! / Venti: Wow, thank you both! As the greatest bard in the whole world, allow me to put on a special performance for you. / Paimon: Yay! You're the best, Venti! / Venti: I'm just returning the favor. I've been waiting for a chance to perform this ever since the both of you told me all those new stories. Now then, shall we begin? / (Venti begins to perform the new ballad he's written. Paimon lets loose a party popper. The confetti flutters in the air, before gently settling on the floor.) / Venti: Wow, we even have stage effects for the song. / Paimon: Hehe, Paimon prepared this in advance. / Paimon: Wait... Is Paimon going to have to pick up the confetti pieces one by one before we leave? / Venti: Oh, that'll be a breeze. A little gust of wind will make quick work of that. / Traveler: ...So this is the sort of stuff the Anemo Archon uses his elemental powers for, huh? / Venti: Ehe.

2020

The tune you just hummed away, is it one that I oft play? Ah, so it's "Happy Birthday" you were just humming? Then please, continue, and I shall keep strumming! Eh-he!

2024 (Birthday Short) & 2024 (Birthday Calendar)

"Eh, olah! Mosi mita!"

The wind here is mixed with the scent of Cecilias... It feels quite pleasant! Oh, don't be afraid, little one. I've got you. Listen, there seems to be singing coming from a distance...

[sweetarethediscords]

You're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiration...

The Maiden of the Barren of the Rime wouldn't exist if it weren't for Critical Role, Liam O'brien, and most importantly Caleb Widogast.

I'm sure every Critter out there has asked themself the question: 'What character would I play if I ever got to play at the table?' My answer was Mina.

Mina, originally, was a ranger/bard eladrin cursed to stay forever in the winter season. Specifically made with Campaign 2 in mind, I wanted to design a PC that would create a good juxtaposition to those already at the table. A literal iceblock that the Mighty Nein could chip away at as they often did with too-serious NPCs, and someone who could be mirror to Caleb, my favorite PC from Campaign 2.

As Campaign 2 steered it paths towards Aeor and the Eyes of Nine however, Mina didn't fit in the campaign any more (as most fandom OCs will do as canon goes along) but I couldn't abandon her. Couldn't throw her into my constantly growing pile of character sheets.

And she wouldn't let me forget her. In fact, her and her eventual counterpart, Sebastian, are some of the first characters of mine in recent memory to invade my dreams.

There was something in her I had to explore. Her rage echoed my rage. Her want to overcome her trauma, but fear that she would always be chained by it, mirrored my own healing journey.

Other characteristics of myself and themes I wanted to explore became the other characters. Sebastian became the other side of Mina's coin, someone who met inconveniences with relentless optimism instead of rage. A self-sacrificing people-pleaser against a self-preserving misanthrope, whose flaws both came from coping with past hardships.

A dirty little fire wizard sparked a rich story exploring the societal expectations of womanhood, the nature of generational trauma, and the complex journey of learning how to love one's self through others (among many other themes)...

...and a incredible talented singer/songwriter from Ireland helped hone them.

When I first started writing The Maiden of the Barren Rime in 2021, Hozier's music played an important, but minimal roll in providing emotional clarity for the characters. "Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene" helped to color the more ethereal and deadly nature of Mina, the fae part of her that lures people in, while "Nina Cried Power" grounded her fury, and helped to shape the larger world of Mina's story that will be revealed in later books.

As the core of the novel was written and finished in January 2023, the editing and refining process became my next great beast to slay. A huge slab of marble that with my fantastic editor and outside readers I was able to carve away at, but Hozier's Unreal Unearth steadied my hands.

It was already a wild enough coincidence that 'Blood Upon the Snow', a song meant to capture the brutality of winter in God of War: Ragnorak, released during writing MBR; eerily capturing exactly how I pictured Mina's upbringing. Hearing Unreal Unearth, a beautiful album about heartbreak, healing, death, and grief among other things, while I was writing an novel about heartbreak, healing, death, and grief among other things was surreal. And wonderful.

It helped to inspire the words I was missing, helped me carve out more cutting prose to capture the depth of my characters' emotions, and most importantly gave me the reassurance that the themes and emotions I was exploring were not singular, but shared. In different shades and presentations, but all coming from a same source of universal human truth.

I can not thank these two enough for the inspiration they've given me, and I can not thank you enough if you've read this much of my ramblings (and suffered my cheesy use of a Chicago lyric.)

[letsjam-art]

silly idea time

idk how this idea even started but the outfit i had in mind was way back from a doodle in 2021 or 2022, basically my 'what if' for temperance ending only instead of being wildly ooc and wearing a collared button up johnny becomes a cowboy. and because i was listening to vagrant song from wtwtlw (that whole ost really, and hardspace shipbreaker) i had the bright idea that johnny would finally become what his class in the ttrpg was an homage to and wander around collecting stories n telling them n kind of being a dead man walking/ghost story/witness/helper-bard r smthn but having been extremely tempered by the experience of v choosing to die for him, being shocked enough into actually thinking about his beleifs n what have you, humbled enough now to want to listen to others hed choose this path of wandering the continent of na, maybe for the first time in a long time actually taking in life around him yadda yadda. in my little scenario i also had it that even if/when the next corpo war broke out or the nusa annexed more free states, he wouldnt get involved like he used to, cause i think its interesting to muse on how a profound experience would greatly change someone so stuck in their ways like johnny. i think hed still be motivated by guilt and avoidance at first, but it would evolve into something more like a calling/altruism as he takes more seriously and uses more intentionally the time he was given as a dead man walking

also i realize how much of this 'outfit' is just putting v in a hat and calling them johnny like its some perry the platypus thing (also idk how to draw hats)

[iphoenixrising]

Dick and Tim and Jay in some combination:

DickTim

Angst: I've already forgiven you, but I won't make the same mistake twice | Effect | Fallen (‘What if Dick didn’t catch Tim when he fell through the window’)| Get wrecked Dick! (HC) | Tim moves on angst | Subdue | Last Line game | Cold Reception (HCs): Too old to cry, Get Wrecked

Misc Ficlets: The night the Flying Graysons Died | Tarantula (HC) | Birthday, Dick & Tim & their parents (HC) NSFW: The Suit (for 400 followers!) & Worth the Wait | Soul Mark

Sentinel/Guide WIP

The Body Swap epic The Swap & The Fallout & The Follow-Up (for 300 followers!)

Time Travel: Links & One & Two

Detective!Dick AU: Red Hood!Tim au (for my babe poison-basil) & art! | Civillian!Tim au

Dom!Dick/sub!Tim AU: One &|Sub!Tim SFW? &|Continuation?|Part II on Ao3|Part III|Sub!Tim Omake: Superbats | Ask | and another | Bruce initially struggling |Sub!Tim WIP challenge post | Mostly NSFW WIPs

DickTim Week 2021 On Ao3 | Day 1: Creature!Dick | Rambling about what happened after Creature!Dick | Day 2: Sad Time Loop, watch your feels | Day 3: AOB and BDSM with Alpha!Tim and Omega!Dick | Day 4: Dark!Dick and Vampire!Tim. Warnings for captivity, torture, blood-letting, and missing Bruce | Day 5: Winged Talon!Tim au. Warnings for violence, brainwashing, and injuries. | Day 6: Truth and Mutual Pining

DickTimJay

SFW: DickJay travel thru time for Tim | & creepy Ra's | DickJay came for Tim | Boneless | "Don't!" | Tim being Tim | Childhood (for 200 followers!) | Jason's Shirts (HC) | Boyfriends to the rescue! | memory loss ask |Missing memory, more ideas | Soul Mark AU: One & Two Soulmate au Epilogue for 800 Followers! (NSFW) & Art!!! | Strip Tease The First Ask And the continuation | Headcanons: Bond & Incomplete

NSFW: Whole Lotta Nice (HC) | Stuck in a Wall | Food kink | Birthday | Christening (for 600 Followers!) | Need: One & Two | Art & Art: AO3 | Counter: One & Two | Venom!Jay: HC & Ficlet

Mer!Dick, Mer!Jay: Logistics | One & Two (in which I like it better if they speak Mer language and they can’t understand each other; minor breeding kink) & Thirst & Future

Fic Rec: On the Clock by chibinightowl

JayTim

Misc: “For this,” he cracks his neck a little, “call me Robin instead.” | Tim waking up from a nightmare about Jay killing him| 700; JayTim vs NHFDB | Thinking | I Choose You | Knife kink | Pit Rage (HC)

Bottom Jason Todd Week: Cam Boy Jason, JayTim | Bottom Jason Todd Week: Willing impregnation | Jay's birthday NSFW

De-Aged Jay (based on fanart): Ficlet | HC

Night Call (Stripper!AU; NSFW): One & Two & Three

Praise Kink (NSFW): Ficlet | PodFic (& my take on a Gotham Accent) | Heart-to-Motherfucking fist

Robinpile Praise Kink idea | The initial ask | Chip’s art | A snippet of the idea

Bad Idea: (Space Salvagers AU): Ficlet & HC

Fic Recs: Are you Trying to Kill Me? by chibinightowl

DamiTimNight Sky: One & DickJayTim (HC) & "Gotham and Explosions" (for 100 followers!) & "Poke" & Two & Three & Finale

Tim-centric:

Tim (art rec)

Caroline: TimKon | DickTimJay & NSFW drab based of @curdleddoodle's amazing art

Misc Tim HCs: Ra'sTim: Bard | Marshall | Concussions & 90s | Brain | Plans | Fighting | Birthday | Family | Religion | Security & Steph | Steph or Tam | Why I Like Him Tim's hair: One & Two & Hair-pulling kink & His Weakness Tim's scars: One & Two & Three Supervillain Tim Drake:Supervillain Tim Drake | All the Titans as supervillains

[sequencefairy]

Writing Wrap-Up 2023

It is, once again, the end of the year! I wrote a lot!

First of all, I have officially published all my original stuff written for Space Fruit Press on Amazon Kindle under my penname, so if you enjoy my fic, I would love to encourage you to check out my original stuff, too, since all those dollars help me on the journey to doing that full time instead of having a full time job that really cuts into my fangirl time.

In addition to what is available on Amazon, there is another anthology of work coming from the press, and I will have a story in it! I need to write it, but it will exist. I'm very excited about this story, as well.

From a fanfic perspective, I have published only three things this year:

And I Was Never Afraid of the Dark (Oh, the Weapon You Made of My Heart) - shyan, wip, unfinished, 9.4k, demon!shane

Shane pulls Ryan out of Hell at 3:37 on a Tuesday afternoon. He’s not looking at his watch at the time, but he infers the time later after he’s finally managed to get up off the desert floor, and has hauled them both back to the car he’d parked in the lot at the trailhead a little over a week ago. Ryan’s a deadweight in Shane’s grip, head lolling back against Shane’s shoulder and body limp and unhelpful in Shane’s arms. His eyes are closed.

My Rivers Tilt Towards You - geraskier, fae!jaskier, 29k, strangers to friends to lovers, canon-divergent au

Geralt pushes the door open one-handed. As it creaks, announcing his presence, Jaskier looks up from the long table he’s sitting at. There’s a mug of something at the bard’s elbow and his songbook is open in front of him. “Geralt,” he says in greeting, and for a moment, Geralt is sure that the bard’s eyes shine in the dark, reflective like his own. He blinks, and the moment passes. Jaskier’s mouth curves into a smile. “Is it done, then?”

Coax the Cold Right Out of Me - shyan, complete, 4.1k, vampire!shane, established relationship

“Shane,” Ryan says, insistent, eyes gleaming in the dark. Shane lets his eyes fall shut, and sighs. The little red and white cooler they usually bring on shoots got left behind at the hotel, an hour and a half away in Jackson. “I’ll be fine,” he says, not looking at Ryan, and ignoring the ache in his gums. He’s gone longer without, he can make it through one shoot and then the drive back before being sated. “You don’t have to be.”

(more rambling under the cut)

So I spent too long making this, but whatever. Let's have fun with infographics, baby!

Anyway, interesting look at the last couple of years for me! I have clearly been in a quality over quantity place regarding wordcounts + things published over the last few years.

I have, over the past couple of years, been feeling like my writing has changed quite a lot, both in terms of what I am interested in writing, and also what I am interested in publishing both to AO3 and as original work.

I think there's also probably something in here about the fall out from the pandemic, as well as something about the fact that I've been medicated for the ADHD for a year now, and I've had to learn how to write in a way that is not an unhealthy coping mechanism and instead as something I do for fun, as a hobby that I enjoy.

What I have been producing lately, in 2023, is some of my favourite writing I've ever done, and I feel like I really levelled up this year in terms of tackling themes and ideas that the me of 2021 wouldn't have even imagined was possible.

With that said, the other fun comparison across years is this one:

Clearly, when you only publish three things in a year, it skews your stats, but I do also think that My Rivers was definitely a thing I needed to finish and write in order to become the person who is currently sitting on about 70k or so of active WIP for a different fandom altogether.

I adore, always, all the love that my shyan fic gets, this fandom is demonstrative in a way that no other fandom has ever been for me, and I've made the best kind of friends in this fandom. Even if I never publish another shyan fic ever (which I am certainly not saying is the case), I still treasure every single one of these fics which allowed me to meet people who've become extremely fucking important to me.

In addition to published fic, of course, the other thing to talk about is all that stuff I'm sitting on that hasn't been published (yet).

These are the seven most active of my WIPs. I am desiring to publish Moonlight on Broken Glass before the end of December, but since I'm the porn and instead of writing it, I keep going back to refine other parts of it, I have some doubts in my ability to get a draft done in the next few days.

All together, that's about 82k of wip, in various states of done that I'm working on. So, really, this year, I've written like, well over 100k, which is always my quiet goal going into any given year.

I don't have anything else to say about this, but I had fun making these little pictures and looking at all my wips. It was, all told, a good year for writing, even if it started off kinda slow.

[brekkie-e]

yo! i dunno if you've made a post on this before, but i'd be interested to hear details about epione (+ any other tavs)! what's her story? what's she like?

Hey, yes, hi, hello! This is one of those questions that I crave to be asked constantly but also fear all who do will come to regret. I can not be normal about my kids. Especially Epi. She’s my little creature and I cry about her a lot. Thank you so much for asking, and I apologize for the wait!

I do plan on making a more in depth introduction post at some point, so if you like her that’s on the way.

Epione! Far more commonly known as Epi though.

She is a grown up urchin, still trying to find her place in the world. Life has been testing her from the day she was born. Started out in a orphanage that didn’t treat her kindly. Ran away when she was seven to the Lower City, where she promptly met what would become her Mol. Her and her bosom companion, Vestia, grew up alongside eachother in a pick pocket crew and when they hit their teens started a chaotic ride or die relationship. It ended in tragedy when Vestia’s ambition and selfishness found her doing jobs for the Zhentarim as Epi began trying to “go straight” and work her way to a normal life. Vestia agreed to make the attempt, but continued doing jobs behind Epi’s back. When she found out and tried to confront her, shit hit the fan at the wrong time. Flaming Fist made an appearance, and Epi took the fall for the job Vestia was running for the Zhent- spending the next 80 years in prison for it while Vestia climbed the ranks of the Zhentarim and ended up one of their top dogs by the time of the game.

Epi got out of prison about 6 months to a year before the game starts. She found a job as a carriage driver, and essentially plays the role of a chatty cab driver. I do not know for a fact if that is lore compliant due to the animal ban in BG, but we see carts around all parts of the city in the game and it’s an important headcanon for me that I’m too attached to so it stays. It’s one of the reasons she has 3 levels in bard. She has no training but she is a chronic story teller. She has a shitty apartment, few long term friends, and a burning desire to make something of herself that is more than what people see. Above all else, she is a survivor and a hard worker.

Oh and like. As a minor, only slightly important bit- she’s also a cambion. A long lost daughter of Mephistopholees to be exact. One of seven cambion children he had with divine soul sorcerers to aquire enough divine energy to usurp Azmodeus to be exact. Her older brother was sent to fetch her when she was born, and was pissed at his dad so conveniently misplaced her at the orphanage. They cropped her wings in a bit of anti-tiefling sentiment (tieflings can technically be born with wings too so nobody suspected she was a cambion from the start.) So Epi does not find out about her heritage until early Act 3 of BG3 because of Raphael. Yes, he found her alliance with Astarion incredibly humorous because neither knew they were the run away missing ingredient in a plot Mephistopholees was trying to pull. I want to note, this was a plot I came up with in 2020/2021 so finding out Astarion’s infernal pact info was INSANE playing it real time.

She will be getting her wings back courtesy of Raphael in Act 3, and it will be a bit of an ugly transition with a dash of identity crisis.

ALSO she’s supposed to be a lighter pink than shown in some screenshots. Her original colors were removed in the full release so sometimes she’s got a hot pink look to her when it’s really supposed to be a bit more pastel. She’s actually pretty insecure about being so pink, she feels like people don’t take her seriously because of it. It makes life difficult for Astarion when he wants to put her in nice clothes. She hates stuff that draw attention to her.

General info:

Age: 226

Class: 9 levels of wild magic sorcery (headcanoned to be infernal but unstable cause she’s got no training) and 3 of lore bard so CUTTING WORDS

Romance: slow burn rivals to lovers with Astarion

She has a mouse/rat companion named Todd that has had it’s lifespan unnaturally extended by her magic

Epione is technically a part of a custom party that has many more Tav’s in it which I will put much more briefly under the cut 💖

It says Brendan, but it’s a cover name. This is the human form of Jehvka, which is Epi’s older brother. He’s always kept an eye out for her where he could from a distance, and tries to infiltrate the Mindflayer ship to save her. Unfortunately he gets stuck in the same situation and has to play along. It’s nice for him though cause he actually gets to know her and befriend her, but it sucks cause he gets deeper and deeper into the lie about who he is. He’s a very witty devil may care type. Comes off like the big scary brooding guy, but does it intentionally to throw people off gaurd when he gives a big smile and hits them with a pun. Romances Gale. Winds him up by playing dumb during his info dumps and pretending he’s never heard of basic things like “the weave.”

Mizzyrm. She’s going to be the other half of Lae’zel’s evil cultish culture duo. Wizard from Menzoberazzan who channel’s her “evilness” in to extensive research. Which is so important she finds herself hardly leaving her lair, and thus is spared from having to attent soirée’s where no less than 3 murders will occur and everyone is mean to eachother. She is shaped by her culture, and definitely has a dark side because of it. Her research is primarily about how to magically hurt people faster. But she’s got a softness in her that makes her just kind of retreat from her peers when she can get away with it. Basically an evil introvert. When she get’s to the surface, it isn’t going to take her long to warm up to the idea that maybe there’s a different way to live. But she gravitates to Lae’zel because it’s familiar and a dynamic she understands. Also she thinks her mom would approve.

TYPHON. My head empty no thoughts but “do you think lifting this boulder over my head will impress the babes?” Dark Urge boy. He’s going to be the fun stabilizer of the group who encourages everyone to work together. Probably unironically makes people do group huddles and say “go team” before getting into battles. Invented the “bhaal-tap” locker room maneuver. Is sufficiently horrified by his dark urges, his mantra about it is “be cool, man just be cool.” He will likely get a little more serious on a narrative level, but he will not stray far from his Ken roots.

Anathema 2.0

Repressed Rich Virgin Syndrome has taken a devestating toll on her. She is the daughter of patriars who simply don’t have time to raise kids, so she was raised by a very religious nanny and then sent to a convent for a while. She’s only recently been brought home due to a politically advantageous betrothal. She doesn’t have much of an opinion about it because she doesn’t have a lot of opinions about anything. Other people tell her what to do and think. She’s insufferably naive and ignorant and rich. She’s going to turn red with embarrassment and mortification every time Karlach says fuck in her general viscinity, because she has literally never heard a swear word prior to meeting her. Yes, Karlach is going to teach her how to be her own person and be rebellious and think for herself. Yes they are going to elope. No it won’t be until after Gortash causes mayhem and drama.

BONUS PICTURE: VESTIA. My toxic queen. Stay awful, my love. She’s the kind of character that is there narratively to cause problems but you feel bad about it because you know she deserves growth and good things too, but her entire point is to be an example of what happens when you DON’T grow and just get worse. Astarion wants to see his reflection so bad, this is it. A warning sign not to ascend cause it will leave you lonely in the end.

[delicatenightfury]

"Bunnanunê."

2021 Month of Writing: Day 25

Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield x modern!reader

Prompt:

Word Count: 1,531

Author's Note: please don't steal my work! you can choose to respond to the prompt as well, but don't steal my work

Thorin looked up from his paperwork when the doors of his office chamber burst open. Kili was breathing heavily.

“Kili?” Thorin said, setting his work down. He was in the middle of a discussion with Thranduil and Bard, talking over the next plans to further expand trade between their three homes.

“It’s Y/N,” the prince breathed.

Thorin immediately tensed.

“What’s happened?” Thorin demanded.

“She’s gone into labor.”

Thorin pushed his seat back and quickly got to his feet.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to excuse me,” he said to the other leaders.

Both nodded, smiles on their faces. 

“We understand, Thorin,” Bard said. “We can continue this another time.”

“Go. Be with your wife,” Thranduil said, bowing his head slightly to him.

Thorin moved out of the room, hurrying down the halls toward his bed chamber. At the moment, the only thing on his mind was getting to his wife. He did not know how far into labor she was. When Fili and Kili were born, his sister Dís had been in labor for several hours before they had come into the world. However, Dís was a dwarf, giving birth to dwarven children. His wife was human. Their child was going to be half dwarf, half human.

While relationships like theirs were not entirely uncommon, they were still rare enough that Thorin was worried about child bearing. Dwarven children were carried longer than humans, roughly 4 years, and tended to be heavier. Y/N had told him early on that human children developed over the course of about nine lunar cycles, a thought that puzzled him originally. Neither were quite sure how long her pregnancy would last. Turns out it was just around eighteen months.

Thorin knocked on the door to his chambers. He didn’t know what state Y/N was in, so he wanted to try to respect her privacy. A minute later, the door opened to reveal his sister, who smiled at him.

“He’s here,” she announced, stepping back so Thorin could move into the chamber.

He couldn’t help but smile at the sight. His wife was standing by the balcony, hand resting on her large stomach. She took a deep breath and exhaled steadily before looking at him. She smiled back at him. Her free hand lifted and reached for him. Thorin could never deny her and approached, taking her hand. His other hand instinctively went to her stomach as he planted a loving kiss on her lips.

“How are you, amrâlimê?” he asked. (“My love.”)

“As well as I can be,” she replied. “The little one is anxious to greet the world.”

“You are going to do great,” he said.

He knew of her anxieties. Halfway through her pregnancy, she revealed her worries: carrying the child to term, the length of the pregnancy, the pain of child bearing, the state of the child’s health, whether the dwarves of Erebor would accept them. The list went on, but Thorin did everything in his power to relieve her worries.

Y/N suddenly inhaled again, her face twisting in pain. Thorin held her up as she hissed, trying to breath through the contraction. His hand moved behind her and pressed just slightly to massage her lower back. When it finally passed, Y/N looked down slightly at her husband. She was several inches taller than him, which the couple found slightly amusing.

“We are having some serious discussion when it comes to having more kids,” she said.

Thorin chuckled, pressing his forehead against hers.

“I will take all the children you give me, my love,” he replied.

Thorin shifted gently on the bed, doing his best not to disturb the two sleeping figures around him. Y/N was fast asleep, exhausted from her long labor. It had been difficult, as expected. She had gone into labor around midday and had given birth as the sun was rising the next morning. Thorin had done everything he could to keep her comfortable, including holding her during the contractions and birth. He had been extremely worried with how weak she was afterwards. Dís reassured him she would be fine, that she just needed sleep. Thranduil had even sent a healer just to check on Y/N and the baby.

Thorin looked down at his resting wife, smiling at her. Even asleep with a light sweat on her forehead and slightly tangled hair, she was beautiful. He could clearly remember when he first met her. It had been back before the quest had even begun. She had been passing through one of the local towns and wanted to buy a sword. It was pure luck that she arrived at the blacksmith shop where Thorin worked.

She had asked if he knew any warriors that could train her. She claimed to “not be from the area,” which Thorin had learned to be quite the understatement. She wasn’t even from Middle Earth originally. Thorin had offered to show her some things, but recruited Dwalin as well. The three trained for nearly a year before Y/N left town. Thorin hadn’t thought he would see her again, but they reunited when the company showed up in Rivendell, where she had been training with the elves.

She had changed in the time since he last saw her. She had put on a bit of muscle, but remained a healthy size. Her hair had grown a significant amount. When they first met, her hair was shorter than Bilbo’s. Thorin could remember when someone would comment about her “boyish” hair and how frustrated she would get. Nearly two years had passed and her hair had fallen midway between her jaw and shoulders. Y/N had insisted on joining them on their quest. Thorin had originally wanted to say no - no human woman should risk her life to help a group of dwarves. But both he and Dwalin knew her skills.

Looking back, Thorin couldn’t have been more grateful for her presence. She kept Fili and Kili out of trouble, though occasionally joining in herself. She provided excellent company to everyone, being beyond caring even when she herself was not at her best. She always made sure to provide encouraging words, being the voice of reason in many situations. 

She had even saved his life, and those of his kin.

She knew all along what would happen. She told him that after the fact, fearing the knowledge would somehow change events. She had had the company weave mithril into the coats of Fili, Kili, and himself. It had saved their lives on Ravenhill when they went after Azog while she had been in Dale. The only injury Thorin had truly received was a blade to the foot, something which Y/N scolded him about afterward. 

Now, nearly three years later, they were happily married and had a child. Erebor and Dale had both been restored to their former glory. Dwarves from the Blue Mountains returned home, including Thorin’s sister.

Thorin brushed his wife’s now long, curly hair away from her face. She shifted slightly, turning her head to face him, which made him smile. Suddenly, he felt the small body in his arms shift as well. Thorin looked down, a wide smile breaking onto his face. His son rested peacefully in his arms, snuggling into his father.

Thorin adjusted the child’s blanket so he could see his face better. He seemed to be the perfect mixture of his parents. His mother’s face with the Durin blue eyes. His hair was curly and a shade between his own and Y/N’s. He was perfect.

“Bunnanunê,” Thorin said softly. (“My tiny treasure.”) “Nothing brings me more joy than to see you finally with us.” 

“I feel replaced.”

Thorin chuckled and looked back at his wife, whose eyes were now open. They were sparkling with love as she gazed at her husband and child.

“Never, ghivashel,” Thorin told her. (“My treasure of treasures.”) “Nothing could ever replace you. My love for you is eternal.”

Y/N slowly sat up and kissed him.

“As is mine for you.” She looked at their son. “How is he?”

“Peaceful. I find it amusing since neither Fili or Kili were ever this quiet.”

“You say that now. Just wait until he starts crying during the night. And the boys have never been able to be tamed.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Thorin handed over the baby to his wife. She cradled him carefully, smiling down at him with love pouring out of her. It was something Thorin would never tire of. He knew how much she wanted to be a mother. “We still have to give him a name, you know.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t do so while I was asleep.”

“No, no. That was nearly Dís. You’re just lucky the boys haven’t gotten their hands on him yet.”

Y/N chuckled and gazed at their son, brushing her finger gently against his cheek.

“Why don’t we wait a little longer?” she proposed. “Let’s just enjoy being together first.”

Thorin carefully wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side so the three were connected. Y/N laid her head against Thorin’s shoulder.

“Of course, my one.”

[shiroxix]

What's peregrinari and who are the guys in it

Ohoho :ooooo-- an ask that was by no means prompted! So: Peregrinari is my homebrew 5e game that I need to think of a better way to describe because basically I just use 5e as the platter upon which Peregrinari is served. It's a long (been playing for almost 3 years and we're not done) campaign that deals with morality and religion in which you're helping puzzle out what to do after the fall out of a war of jealous gods. Most of the gods don't play a direct role in the story, so the characters learn about what happened through history books, which may or may not be correct, as is the flaw with all recorded history. I've ran it three times. The first group fell apart before the first section was done, the second group played for a few years and is now taking a hiatus, and the third group has been going strong since August 1st 2021. Each time I run it, I take elements the players have injected into the world and make them canon for the next run, so that each time I run the campaign, the world gets fuller. My first group added a few locations and factions that have stuck around. My second group added some jokes, religious subsects, and history that I now consider a core part of the game. The current group is the most curious, and while they've added a few locations and NPCs to the game, they have also forced me to delve MUCH deeper into a lot of the concepts surrounding the world, including the magic system, entire pantheons, and philosophies that didn't exist before they interacted with them. The problem is I don't really know how to talk about it unprompted? I am thinking about Peregrinari so often, and yet I have no idea how to organize these thoughts or present them in a manner that means anything? I'd love to talk about it more, but... idk where to begin. The world? The characters? The pantheon? The plot? The magic system? It's a lot and it's hard to like... break it into pieces. That is what Peregrinari is. As for the guys in it: there are so many. The group of PCs I have had for this campaign are amazing. I've had a transfem peacock aarakocra bard, I've had a warforged who had a gender crisis and literally rewrote their soul to reflect it. I've had a firbolg warlock come back from the dead as a paladin for their patron deity. I've had a man fall in love with the god who cursed him so that the god was remade in his image... like... hngh. TTRPGs are SO GOOD because it's watching people play in the sandbox you make and change characters you wrote irreversibly forever and I think that's beautiful.

[endiness]

If anyone is interested, here are all of the spoilers and rumors so far about Radovid and Jaskier x Radovid and just everything relating to that. And also book!Radovid.

"Royal playboy and younger brother to King Vizimir, Radovid finds himself suddenly a man on the inside of the Redanian Intelligence. With his good looks and drunken charm, Radovid amazes with how incisive he can be in political affairs, but it’s all games until someone gets hurt."

Source: https://twitter.com/witchernetflix/status/1514605669667663872

~

Source: https://twitter.com/RedanianIntel/status/1669074435586834433

~

Episode 1: “Shaerrawedd” Meanwhile at the Redanian court, our bard Jaskier is involved in political plots and schemes, which leads him to his fateful meeting with Prince Radovid of Redania.

Episode 2: “Unbound” Back at the Redanian court, there’s still plotting, scheming and the development of Jaskier’s romance with Prince Radovid. The bard even sings a song to the prince.

Source: https://redanianintelligence.com/2023/06/15/spoilers-the-witcher-season-3-vol-1-episode-guide/

~

Transcript of Radovid's audition scene with Jaskier:

Jaskier: It’s been years since I’ve seen the princess. Also, ……. If I could help… Radovid: It’s nice, but nothing like you chose. What I wouldn’t give to hear you play halfway as … on that one. Jaskier: Oh, a fan? And someone who understands true artistry? How the instrument and the artist can elevate each other. Radovid: Yes, two things of beauty, made to be together. Jaskier: Precisely! Radovid: So here’s a thought: this poor princess has enemies everywhere and truth be told our kingdom’s not a bad place. It’s cold in winter and humid in summer. The cuisine, however, spectacular. And my brother’s not bad as far as my likes are concerned. Redania may not be perfect, but it’s her least bad option. And if you came to Redania, you could be our royal troubadour. Otherwise we might have to listen to that reedy voice of Valdo Marx. Just think about it, would you? Jaskier: I would. Radovid: We should be going. [Suggestive] Unless you’d like to show me how you play your instrument.

* Note: I've changed the names to reflect the proper characters/locations.

Source: https://redanianintelligence.com/2021/12/02/the-witcher-season-3-audition-tape-suggests-more-political-intrigue-involving-jaskier/

~

We know that this [audition] scene or a very close version of it made it into the show and that there are more moments of flirtation and chemistry between Radovid and Jaskier later on. The two men develop a romantic relationship over the course of the season. And later, Jaskier and Radovid finally kiss.

Source: https://redanianintelligence.com/2023/05/24/yes-what-many-thought-about-the-witcher-jaskier-is-true/

~

“Jaskier falls in love,” Schmidt Hissrich reveals. “And it’s with a character who fans will know [and] continues showing up in the books. So what happens this season between them will have ripple effects for a very long time.”

Batey relished digging into Jaskier’s new love story. “He’s having his hot girl summer,” Batey jokes. “It’s been really rewarding to see [his love life] told in a very visual way. [We] ensured that these romances are told truthfully — and sensitively and carefully, without resorting to stereotypes… Hopefully we’ve created something that is special, a sapioromantic and sapiosexual [connection] that is as flawed as any other relationship in this show.”

One other element in Jaskier’s life may just complicate his newfound love. As he’s “falling into an uncle role” for Ciri alongside parental figures Geralt and Yennefer, Jaskier is also pulled into the political machinations of the Continent.  

“He’s certainly a man of many trades, but I’m not sure he’s inherently built to be a spy,” Batey says. “Yet he’s found himself in a time of war, in turmoil, and is trying to do his best to do something good.”

Source: https://www.netflix.com/tudum/articles/witcher-season-3-henry-cavill-interview

~

Joey Batey finally verified that his poet will indeed end up in a romantic entanglement with the new character. "Showrunner Lauren Schmidt Hissrich came to me long before we even saw some scripts and said, 'This is the direction we'd like to take Jaskier,'" Batey told SFX, calling the romance subplot "a more modern interpretation of the books." In a previous interview with Netflix's Tudum, Batey declared season 3 Jaskier's "hot girl summer," calling the romance "sapioromantic" (a term that refers to falling for someone's intellect regardless of gender) without actually citing the love interest character by name.

Speaking to SFX, Batey explained that he doesn't "think Jaskier really sees gender," but also implied that meeting Radovid throws the character for a loop from their very first encounter. "We see Radovid arriving," Batey said, and, "for the first time in a while, Jaskier can't work him out. That to him is the most intriguing prospect." He describes a moment of recognition between the pair: "You wear just as much of a mask as I do. I want to see who is going to lower their mask first."

Hissrich also spoke with the outlet, and explained that Jaskier's relationship with Radovid will be completely different than his connection with a character video game players will know, Vespula. "When we started in the writers' room this season, we had a question about Jaskier that was really fun to explore: Who is Jaskier when he is on his own, away from Geralt, Yen and Ciri?" Hissrich asked. "What that brought us to is Jaskier's first really serious relationship."

Hissrich continued: "We introduced a character from the books, Vespula — Jaskier's on-again-off-again lover, but then we used that dynamic to provide a contrast to what happens when Jaskier actually starts to have deeper feelings toward someone." That someone seems poised to be Radovid.

"My priority was ensuring it was done in a sensitive, caring way that avoided all kinds of stereotypes," he told SFX. "I was heavily involved in some of the script revisions in order to ensure a very safe, sexual, romantic connection with this person."

Source: https://www.slashfilm.com/1309204/the-witcher-joey-batey-confirms-jaskiers-romance-season-3/

~

Jaskier will be singing tunes here and there throughout the season. One of his sad love songs he will be singing to none other than his new love interest, Prince Radovid of Redania.

Source: https://redanianintelligence.com/2023/06/12/jaskier-song-lover-radovid-and-other-tunes-in-the-witcher-season-3/

~

Mentions of Radovid in the books:

Prince Radovid was a minor, Queen Hedwig had been devastated by the tragic death of her husband - the aristocracy, terrified, had become stupid, and was disunited and divided into factions.

— Baptism of Fire

“I know [Calante] had wedding plans for Ciri, to join her with young Tancred Thyssen of Kovir or perhaps to the Redanian prince, Radovid, I don’t know exactly.”

— The Tower of Swallows

'Long live His Holiness!' A few voices came from the crowd, obviously bribes. Novigrad's hierarch Cyrus Englekind Hemmelfart rose and blessed the people and the army with his outstretched hands, while irreverently covering Queen Hedwig and young Radovid with the skirts of his robe.

Nobody shouts, "Long live Radovid", thought the prince covered by the hierarch's fat ass. No one even looks at me. No one is screaming in honour of my mother. No one remembers my poor father. Even today, at a day of triumph, which he so richly deserved. After all, that's why he was murdered.

He felt a gaze on his neck. Delicate like someone he did not know - or knew, but only in his dreams. Something that was soft like a brush of a woman's warm lips. He turned his head. He discovered the dark unfathomable eyes of Philippa Eilhart fixed on him.

Wait, thought the prince, looking away. Just wait.

No one could predict or guess then that this boy of thirteen years, which at that time was a person without any relevance in a country ruled by the Regency Council and by Dijkstra, would become king. A king who, after he paid all the insults that had been given to his mother and him, would go down in history with the name Radovid the Stern.

— Lady of the Lake

[writerman]

Are you still taking fic prompts? Because if you are then omg, Barduil first meeting for that 'stuck overnight in an IKEA' post... 'I was just there for a table, he was only there for the meatballs and... well... by the time we were all allowed to go the next morning I had my table, he'd had his meatballs and we both had a boyfriend... It was love at first Ypperlig...'

Hi, anon, did you know you sent me this request in 2021??

If you still follow me or ever followed me to begin with, I am so sorry.

Here is your IKEA Barduil prompt.

Happy NaNo!

--------

Fandom: The Hobbit

Ship: Bard x Thranduil (Barduil)

Word Count: 5,541

--------

Anyone travelling out there stay safe, the storm is supposed to be coming in thick and fast by this afternoon. Local authorities and the MET office have asked that if you can stay home please do! 

On that note here is a little song for anyone taking on the blizzard today. Snow Bird by Ann- 

Bard smacked the radio as fast as he could, numb fingers fumbling with the off switch while he kept his eyes on the road. The snow hadn’t hit blizzard levels yet but the sky above him hinted that it wouldn’t be long.

The snowfall the night before had blanketed the world in white that was already about a foot deep, but it hadn’t deterred many from leaving their homes. There were a few brave souls battling through the snow-covered sidewalks- no one had come to clear a path but no one appeared to care that much. 

It was fine, it would be fine, he only had to run into IKEA for a replacement coffee table as Bain had body-slammed the other one and left it in two halves in the living room. Of course, it had been an accident and that was what Bard got for letting him watch the pro wrestling stuff on TV unattended. 

Of course. An accident. 

So, a replacement was needed and somehow the exact replica of it existed (imagine that!) within the blue and yellow labyrinth of IKEA, patiently waiting for the myriad of other shoppers to swoop in and collect it only to have their Christmas visitors exclaim that they too had the same table at home! 

Thankfully, parking was easy. The place was practically deserted because everyone else had more sense than to drive out into an impending snowstorm to buy furniture! 

Then again, everyone probably didn’t have a child like Bain to contend with. He was a good kid, just energetic and very impressionable at his age. It wasn’t as though something like this hadn’t happened before. 

Why am I even out buying a table? The kids are with their mum this year. All I need is to rest a cup on it… Shaking the snow off himself at the entrance, Bard tried not to let his entire being sag at the thought of Christmas on his own and then he recalled why he had gotten out of the house in the first place.

It had been too quiet. 

Amid his thoughts, someone brushed past him hurriedly sending him crashing into a metal basket of stuffed sharks. Before he can topple over into the pile of plush toys a strong hand wraps around his wrist and pulls him back to his feet. 

“Sorry, so sorry, I didn’t mean to knock you over like that!” Apologies flew fast from the stranger’s mouth and Bard cleared his throat before smiling awkwardly trying to brush it off. 

“It’s all right, I was in the way.” He mumbled this as he checked himself over, and as he glanced up to his would-be attacker and rescuer he felt his heart do an odd sort of little skip before resuming the staccato rhythm it had taken up in the moment of surprise. 

“No, not at all.” The stranger’s voice seemed to have dropped an octave now his apologies had been done and dusted and he promptly released Bard’s wrist from his grip upon realising that he still held on to him. “I was not paying attention; you know this time of year leaves everyone… harried.” He trailed off as he said the last word and it looked as though he was unsure if he meant what he was saying. 

“Honestly, I'm alright. Don’t worry about it.” Bard urged again, really he wanted some space between himself and the stranger because he was experiencing what could only be described as a sexual awakening but incredibly bisexually. 

“If you’re sure you’re fine.” The stranger continued but when Bard nodded again they merely nodded back and turned neatly on their heel and hurried away with the same speed they had entered the store. 

After that encounter Bard didn’t see them again, in fact, he saw very few people that didn’t work there. Most of them stood huddled around a work computer whispering urgently about the oncoming storm. 

Likely wishing idiots like him would piss off home so they could head home too.

Yes, he felt awful that they had to be there, and he did honestly feel bad for going in but he really wanted to replace his table- he had time and nowhere else to be. Though, the employees didn’t seem to harbour any ill will towards him when he asked for help finding the section he needed. 

Bard had spent a grand total of 20 minutes in the store by the time he reached the checkouts and as he approached one he realised there were no members of staff to be seen. Scratching his head in confusion, he looked about for any sign of the employees who assisted him earlier. 

No one.

Someone at his side groaned. 

“Just wonderful,” They griped shifting from one foot to another jostling whatever it was in their hands. “The snow has blocked the door; the employees are trying to figure out what they should do.” 

Turning to look at the stranger, Bard comes face to face with the very man that had bowled him over in the entrance. 

“Hello, again.” He shared the grim expression held by the stranger as he greeted him. His attention is then focused on the now shut off automatic doors. A few members of the staff were stood looking at the heavily falling snow, one of them jumping backwards as a sudden gust of wind rattled the doors and the lights flickered around them.

“You don’t suppose the restaurant is open, do you?” The stranger spoke again, and Bard glanced down at his flat pack table at his feet for a second before picking it up and turning to look up at the signposts that hung above them both.

“Let’s find out.” He tried for cheerful, it came out quiet and he cursed inwardly at how nervous he was around the man. The same man that had been so very sorry for knocking into a bunch of stuffed sharks not 20 minutes earlier.

“Yes, let’s. I’m Thranduil, by the way. And again, I am so very sorry for knocking you off your feet. Not how I like to introduce myself to people, hopefully you sustained no injury.” There was a hint of amusement in his voice and Bard felt the slightest blush warm his cheeks.

“No injury, fighting off sharks stuffed or otherwise is just days’ work for a dad with 3 rambunctious kids.” They head toward the restaurant and Thranduil offers a knowing nod, they had found some common ground.

“Oh, uh, I’m Bard. Nice to meet you… Thranduil, was it?” It was an unusual name, but honestly, so was Bard. Though, people didn’t tend to comment on it as much as he assumed people might about Thranduil’s.

“So, do you play music?” The question came right out of the left field and left Bard silent for a moment until he caught on and let out a loud laugh.

“Funny, not musically inclined at all, played the odd bit of guitar in university, you know how it goes.” He tried not to think about the cringe-worthy image of him sitting beneath a tree strumming the whole three cords he knew just humming songs uncaring that they didn’t match the chords.

“Yes, yes, we’ve all been there. The mortifying act of trying to reinvent yourself only to discover you don’t know how to begin remodelling your life aside from drastically changing your wardrobe only to never wear any of the ridiculous items ever again.” Thranduil gave a flourish of the hand before grimacing at the memory of it.

“Ah, the hubris of youth.” Bard sighed.

In a surprising turn of events, the restaurant was open and the few customers who still lingered, rather against their will, had made their own way over to buy coffee and pastries to wait out the storm until eventually, like animals, they could be released back into the wild again.

“Coffee?” Thranduil set his unpurchased item on the chair next to him before shrugging off his long coat from his incredibly tall form. He dressed any dad might, jeans, boots and a jumper and yet the clothes seemed to fit him better than they had any person Bard had ever encountered before.

Not that he was staring.

IKEA was certainly not the place to consider his wavering sexuality, no that was better suited to a queer coffee shop or whatever, he wasn’t sure. He had really had to think about this kind of thing before.

Not that he was expecting a full-blown love affair to come from their meeting. After they were set free they likely wouldn’t see one another ever again.

“I’m sorry that I asked such a complex question when I offered to buy you coffee, shall I rephrase it?” Once again, there was a touch of amusement in his voice as he spoke.

It took an embarrassing amount of time for Bard to realise he had just been standing silently looking at Thranduil for at least 2 minutes. No words uttered he had just stood there like an idiot letting his mind wander while Thranduil waited patiently for a response.

“Aha, sorry, yes coffee is fine.” He shoved his hand into his jeans pocket to fish for change, but Thranduil chided him with the click of his tongue and walked off without taking any of the money he had attempted to offer.

Bard took this chance to take off his own coat after sliding his unpaid for table down by the table and the restaurant wall.

How badly he wanted to put his hands over his face and scream into them. This had never happened to him before. He had never found another man attractive before. However, by the look of it, Thranduil was used to it as many of the other occupants actively and openly stared at him as he passed them by before their eyes snapped over to Bard with questions burning on the tips of their tongues.

Mortifying, mortifying, awful, terrible.

When Thranduil returned he placed both cups on the table before digging into his own pocket for the sugar packets and little pots of milk he had acquired on his way back to their table.

“Does that happen everywhere you go?” Bard motioned to the people still watching him though trying to pull it off that they were merely having a good old gander at the restaurant and out of the windows.

“Oh, I suppose. I think it’s my hair.” Thranduil seemed disinterested and concentrated on peeling back the foil from the tiny milk pots.

Yeah sure, not the fact you’re the most beautiful person to grace the earth.

Nope, he wasn’t going there, after all this, he was going to have to sit down with his brain and talk to it about inappropriate thoughts.

Should go well.

“You do have nice hair, I suppose it makes sense people will stare at you, and you’re b- big… uh, tall!” Bard pulled his own coffee cup towards him and tore open two of the sugar packets dumping them into his coffee without looking at Thranduil.

His face felt hot.

“I am very big, you’re correct.” No further context was given and Bard near choked on his first sip of coffee upon hearing the words uttered.

Is he flirting with me? Surely not.

Bard cannot even begin to formulate a response and as if the Gods smiled up on him, the squeal and hiss of the tannoy above interrupted their conversation.

Dear customers of the store, unfortunately, due to the weather conditions we have been required to close the store for the rest of the day. Due to the ongoing storm and its severity, for your safety we have been advised to have anyone in store remain until the worst has passed.

We understand that this is inconvenient and may cause some upset, if you have any questions our staff are on hand to assist.

We strongly suggest that you remain indoors and do not attempt to leave the store. IKEA are offering free food and hot beverages to all customers affected for the duration of your stay.

Again, we apologise for the inconvenience this may cause.

Thank you.

When the announcement ended Bard could hear the throng of people gathered in the restaurant begin to grumble, muttering under their breath that they had places to be. He had no sympathy for them coming out in a storm with the intention of running errands.

Sure, he had done the same and maybe Thranduil had done, too. But he had nowhere to be. When he looked back at Thranduil he noticed the man was simply continuing to drink his coffee with not a single worry plastered across his face.

“Nothing waiting for you back at home either, ay?” Bard gave an empathetic smile when Thranduil nodded and set down his cup, leaning back in his seat he gave a cursory look around the room before he spoke.

“I have two adult children, well, university age, they are with their respective partners this Christmas, and I pretended I had made plans so that they didn’t feel sorry for their dear old dad being alone on Christmas.” As casually as he had tried to make it sound, Thranduil did come across as sad as he explained himself.

“I only ventured out for something to do. I had already promised I wouldn’t work over Christmas so IKEA it is. You know the hub of all social interaction. Joking aside, some good has come of it, well, the snowed in part of my day isn’t the highlight but I do have good company at least.” Thranduil lets the silence linger, and Bard swallowed hard, it was hard to know if this man was in fact flirting with him even if he wasn’t the way he spoke was just so fucking…

Suggestive

“We’re in the same boat, I only came out to replace a coffee table and only because I’m home alone for Christmas too,” It was a stupid thing to do, his brain was already telling him he was going to crash and burn but still his mouth disregarded the warning.

“I know you probably have a ton of friends you could hang out with, but you know my door is open to you if you want to spend the day. I know we are practical strangers- ah, I don’t know why I’m doing this. Sorry.” Bard fumbled at the last moment and decided it was better to rescind the invitation to save his already shaky ego.

“Strangely, I have very few friends. Something about being intimidating and having a- now what did Tauriel call it, ah yes! I have a resting bitch face that seems to put people off from talking to me.” The delivery was dry and still Bard let out a surprised laugh which he quickly smothered by taking a long sip of his drink hyper aware that others were now looking over at him.

“Now that is a nice sound.” Thranduil was resting his chin in his hand, elbow planted firmly on the tabletop looking across at Bard with a gentle and sincere smile. “So, is my invitation still valid or are you going shy on me?” He arches a brow and Bard can’t look away from him, and he knows he’s beet red.

“A-are you really flirting with me?”

“I have been this entire time, thank you for noticing,” The confidence that oozed from Thranduil was almost unbearable in how damn hot it was. No hint of arrogance just sheer and open boldness.

“You left me quite lost for words when I first set eyes on you, or rather… when I full body smashed you into a cart of BLÅHAJ, butchering the pronunciation but you get the idea. Could scarcely even look at you, with your beautiful brown eyes and dark wavy hair. That and you said I had pretty hair and I was big- ah, tall.” The corners of his mouth quirked up in a smirk and Bard felt like sliding out of his seat onto the floor hoping it would open up and swallow him whole.

“W-well, my invitation still stands if you’re interested.” How he had managed to even get words out in a coherent manner was beyond his comprehension seeing as his brain was on fire and there didn’t appear to be any extinguishers wedged into the grey matter.

The lights above them began to flicker before going out, the power had cut out and the wind and snow battered the side of the building brutally the sound of metal creaking faintly around them.

“Fuck- it’s getting worse.” Bard was thankful for the distraction and directed his attention to the windows, the snow was swirling through the wild gales. It came down fast and heavy blotting out the world beyond the glass.

“Let’s move on, I want to sit on something more comfortable.” Thranduil didn’t wait for a response as he stood grabbing his coat and scarf and leaving behind the tiny pack of scented tea lights.

It wouldn’t make any sense for him to carry them around until he could actually purchase them, so Bard followed suit, picking up his coat and leaving the flatpack box still resting between the table and wall.

Like a lost puppy he followed Thranduil until he was at his side struggling to keep up with the long strides the blond made until he came to a stop in the department he had sought out. Bard watched as he wandered through the sofas until he found one that looked comfortable enough, he gently laid his coat over the back of it before flopping down onto the cushions and patting the space next to him.

With as much grace as he could manage, Bard wove between the other sofas and proceeded to sit next to Thranduil, taking care not to have any part of him against the other. However, this didn’t seem to be how things were supposed to go because Thranduil shuffled himself closer so their legs touched from thigh to calf.

“Oh, now this is nice. Do you suppose we will be stuck here all night?” Thranduil had no qualms about being pressed up beside Bard, meanwhile, Bard was trying to as covertly as possible hide his heart attack whilst wondering if he needed to have a conversation with himself about the sudden attraction he had to men.

Because it was sudden like he was smacked with a bisexual stick as soon as he entered the IKEA.

Was it a requirement to be in IKEA?

“I- hope not. I don’t think a big metal building with no power will be a very comfortable place to sleep.” The idea was unappealing, and Bard shuddered though it turned into a shiver as the cold air began to seep in, whatever warmth there had been, it seemed was no longer apparent and he could feel a headache coming on.

“I’ll keep you warm, don’t worry.” The words were whispered into his ear, he could feel Thranduil’s hot breath ghosting over the shell of his ear and the vibrations of his words jostled Bard’s already frayed nerves to near breaking point.

As luck would have it, a store employee was hunting down customers and handing out blankets still in their packaging.

“You two look cosy, but this should help, too.” She was young, early twenties if that. Her cheery demeanour didn’t quite fit the predicament they were in, but it was nice to see that a snowstorm wasn’t dampening her smile.

She didn’t stick around, she had a cart full of blankets she had to distribute, all the while wearing one as a cape as she went.

Bard wasted no time in pulling the soft grey blanket out of its packaging wrapping it around him to ward off the chill, he watched as Thranduil did the same and was genuinely grateful when Thranduil plastered himself against Bard’s side again.

Heat was heat, even if it was the body heat of a particularly amorous man who looked like an angel. When he thought about it, knowing someone harboured obvious affection for him was nice.

New, but nice.

Before he knew it, the girl from earlier was shaking them both awake holding a torch, the bright beam blasting against the floor so as to not blind the both of them in the now pitch-dark sofa department.

“If you’d both rather sleep in a bed I can take you over there now, come on. Everyone else is already over there and the more people in one space the warmer it will be. There’s a small generator nearby too, we have a kettle if you want tea or coffee.” The idea of a bed was delightful and both Thranduil both murmured their sleep thanks as they stood up from the sofa.

“I don’t know about you, but at my age sleeping on a sofa in the cold is not a kind way to treat the body. I ache in the most atrocious way.” Thranduil griped as he collected his coat and scarf, Bard gave him a consolatory pat on the arm hoping it came across as sympathetic in the dark.

“Right there with you,” Bard responded, his hand dropped to his side, fingers accidentally brushing Thranduil’s, who saw the chance to grasp his hand in his. The lack of light other than a torch beam a few steps ahead of them a perfect cover to hide any embarrassment at the gentle touch.

It was such a soft gesture, endearing and sincere. More than Bard had experienced since his divorce, while amicable, it didn’t hurt any less.

But this man was actively pursuing him, in his heart he knew this was moving fast but it didn’t mean he would wish for it to slow down. Of course, he was confused but the excitement was overriding his common sense a little bit, whatever would come of this he couldn’t tell but it was thrilling.

There were several people already bundled up in the show beds, shoes and boots neatly set on the floor beside their coats, some giggling at the absurdity of it all while others looked worried, if not a little scared.

The young girl led Bard and Thranduil to a king-size bed mentioning under her breath that ‘Blondie needed room for his legs’ before smiling at them both and wandering off to assist others with their queries.

Of course, she had assumed they were together. She’d found them bundled up asleep under blankets almost glued at the hip and he really didn’t want the ordeal of having to ask her for his own bed.

It was one night, one night, fully clothed and in a room full of other people, nothing would happen and they couldn’t talk privately with beds set out barely a metre apart. It wasn’t that he felt unsafe or that he thought Thranduil might do something untoward but sharing a bed with him even unromantically… platonically, was fast fast.

Speed of light fast, he didn’t know this man’s last name, where he lived, what kind of car he drove, his favourite food… all he knew was that they were similar in age and were basically alone.

I’m overthinking this. We’re just going to sleep; I was fine sleeping on a sofa right next to him. I was happy to have him hold my hand…

It wasn’t until Thranduil reached out and nudged him that he realised he was being spoken to and wasn’t listening to a word that was said. Sheepishly he looked to Thranduil in the meagre light of one singular lamp that was situated at the edge of the display beds and offered an apologetic smile.

“Would you like me to find somewhere else to sleep?” Serious tone, his face set with determination, but Bard wasn’t sure what it was Thranduil was hoping to achieve. If he was trying to make him feel more comfortable it was working but the idea of sleeping alone when he had the chance not to was what forced him to respond.

“No, you don’t need to do that.” Bard turns away from him to sit on the bed and slip off his boots, placing them under the bed along with his coat. He feels the bed behind him dip as Thranduil moves to do the same.

“Sleeping together and we haven’t even had a first date, how scandalous.” Thranduil teased, though he still had his back to Bard as he spoke. An older lady in the bed next to them let out a chuckle and it managed to put Bard at ease, he locked eyes with her, and she gave him a wink.

Standing up he threw the covers back on his side of the bed and climbed in, but he didn’t lie down, he didn’t want to really commit to sleep until Thranduil was also beside him and comfortable.

It didn’t make any difference if Thranduil slept before him or not and he couldn’t explain to himself mentally why he was waiting for the blond and yet he did.

Thranduil was having a whispered conversation with someone in the bed across from him, but the conversation ended when Bard put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently to get his attention.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you waiting, you cannot sleep without me already, hmm?” Another tease from him and even in the limited light Bard could see his triumphant smile.

When they both settled in bed, Bard was surprised to notice that Thranduil had not plastered himself against him but did welcome the space. Still, he wanted to speak to Thranduil before they tried to get some sleep.

Rolling onto his side he came face to face with him and he sighed before actively readying himself for what he was about to ask.

“Thran, can I call you Thran?” Stalling but when Thranduil nodded he continued, as his eyes adjusted to the dark he could see he held the other’s rapt attention. “How long have you been single?” He tried to whisper the question as quietly as he could and he knew Thranduil had heard it because he stiffened before rolling onto his back remaining silent for some time.

Eventually, he rolled back onto his side, his hand sliding over the space between them reaching for Bard’s hand.

“I know you’re worried about my intense interest in you, I understand it. You are right to be cautious, we know virtually nothing about one another.” His voice sounded so inviting even in a whisper, but his voice was so deep Bard had to move in closer just to hear him properly.

“This is a unique situation, I don’t think I’ve ever been snowed in in an IKEA before and I doubt I will again for the rest of my life, but this is advantageous a blessing in disguise. Would we have met if not for the snowstorm?”

We wouldn’t have met if Bain hadn’t decided to People’s Elbow the damn coffee table. But Bard didn’t say that Thranduil didn’t need to know that ancient re-runs of WWE were the cause of their meeting.

“The moment I realised I was interested in you I knew I couldn’t let you slip away. I was already so annoyed when I thought you’d already left. When you showed up at my side at the empty checkout I was beside myself. I wanted to make the time count, I made sure that we had a chance to talk again and when you so easily went along with it… I knew I had to trust my attraction to lead the way.” How earnest he was in admitting all of this, knowing how strange it was to feel as he did with so little provocation.

They both understood there needed to be far more put into whatever it was they were doing, this wasn’t going to be a fated lovers thing, even if that was how it felt right at that moment. In the morning they would part ways and it was up to them to work out how to deal with their strange evening and how far they were willing to go to make things work.

Even if Bard felt somewhat like a defeatist in thinking it would die out as soon as they stepped out of the store, he was willing to try. He was willing if Thranduil was, and it was apparent to him that Thranduil would put the effort in.

At least, he hoped he would. This gave Bard pause because he was just as eager to continue seeing Thranduil in any capacity. Would he regret it if he never spoke to him again?

This time he did not allow his brain to offer up an answer.

“Let’s talk about this in the morning, I don’t think I can keep whispering like this.” Bard gave Thranduil’s hand a squeeze and he smiled when it was returned.

Nothing else was said between them and it wasn’t long before Bard could hear Thranduil’s breathing slow signalling the man was already asleep.

In the morning, Bard woke with a start trying to work out where he was and who was lying in the bed next to him. The memories of the day before came flooding back and he covered his face with both hands sighing heavily.

Yesterday had been a lot.

Today would be more so.

It was then he realised the lights were now on. Power had been restored and people were getting out of their beds cheerily chattering away pulling on shoes and scouting the area for staff.

It wasn’t until they were alone that Thranduil opened his eyes, his hair was tousled from sleep, and when he mumbled a ‘good morning’ it was so deep it came out more like a rumble of thunder leaving Bard to scramble mentally to gather up his senses once again to return the greeting.

“You’re the last one up, sleepyhead.” Bard joked as he grabbed the blanket and threw back exposing Thranduil to the cold. In response to such callous behaviour, Thranduil groaned like he’d been stabbed before grabbing Bard by the front of his t-shirt pulling him down on top of him and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“I consider this repayment for such hideous behaviour after I kept you warm all night.”

“Excuse you, but I was the one that kept you warm all night, not the other way around.” In a bid to keep himself from short circuiting, he had to volley right off Thranduil’s words because if he allowed himself to think of the kiss for a mere second he would probably explode.

I cannot believe I was about to lose my mind over a peck on the cheek. Get yourself together, Bard, mate.

“Let’s not start discourse of who kept who warm, instead let’s get coffee and breakfast and get the fuck out of this place. I’ve had no phone service all this time and I am sure someone is going to report me missing if I do not get in touch with the outside world.

My company are going to assume I’ve died.” Business like but he was smiling, thoroughly pleased with himself for the cheek kiss, probably.

They were not released from the yellow and blue prison until lunchtime and by that time Bard was willing to dig the place out himself. He wanted a shower, clean clothes and his own comfortable sofa and TV.

The time to decompress was a necessity, he needed time to overthink every single interaction he’d had with Thranduil, from the moment they met to the very moment he handed over his contact number before rushing off to his own car while on a conference call with his children and vice president of his company all who sounded as though they were wailing into his ear with relief.

With his replacement table securely in the back seat, and after having the car running with the heat blasting for 15 minutes, Bard made his own way home.

His house was blessedly empty, upon his return home. It was the first time in years he was pleased to have only the sound of silence in every corner. In a matter of minutes, Bard had the thermostat cranked up, his coat off and boots kicked into the hallway.

He had an important meeting with the sofa he couldn’t miss and probably a fair few calls to make to confirm he was not dead, he was ok and ‘You wouldn’t believe what happened last night’.

As he unlocked his phone, the first message to come through was an unsaved number, opening it up he realised who it was from almost immediately.

I wanted so badly to kiss you properly this morning, but we have time for that. See you at Christmas. T x