#what a world your mind was John Lennon

[thewalrusespublicist]

I straight up don’t think that story in skywriting set in Paris ever even remotely happened, I think this is John working through the mix of complex feelings he has about Paul in some sort of semi autobiographical fantasy/thought experiment type thing? I think it’s undeniable it’s about Paul, but wether or not the contents of it are true is a little more suspect, the thing is it’s not the point to me, like, the fact that he’s fantasising about having passionate hate love sex with his boy bestie is the real convicting evidence 😭

Hi Anon,

Pretty much entirely agree! Not going to lie, I love this section of Skywriting as it’s so tantalising. Like what's fact and what's fiction? Where does fantasy overtake the narrative entirely and when does reality trickle through? The line between the two is often blurred in Skywriting as it is in most of John’s creative work.

As to it being an entirely fantastical thought experiment or a semi-autobiographical, I think I lean towards the latter only in the broadest sense.

*One sec, lemme adjust my tin-hat.*

I’m pretty much on the bandwagon that this section is a highly embellished, fantastical account of the summer of 66’ or a pastiche of trips to Paris. John, as he does elsewhere in Skywriting, obscures or replaces the real life event or word with clever wordplay and surrealist imagery. Instead of putting that he was acting abroad in Spain, he uses a play on ‘method acting’ to come up with ‘methodist acting’ and invents a more ‘exotic’ location of Jamaica. Edit 1: @this-never-happened-before has kindly informed me that the British capital of Jamaica was called 'Spanish Town' and Spanish Town still exists as the Capital of St Catherine's province. It's nowhere near definitive proof of course but it's really interesting to think about and could explain if John was thinking of summer 66' why he chose Jamaica as a substitute for Spain. Instead of saying he met up with Paul and co in Paris, he gets a summons from Aime to go to Paris. Whilst the name Aime is obviously part of the allusions to homosexuality and the surreal angle, ‘aime’ nevertheless means ‘friend’ in french. Less discussed is the fact that Aime is also a comrade, which by definition is a friend or someone who works in the same organisation as you or is a fellow soldier. ‘Military buddies’ anyone? So he’s being summoned by someone he defines as being his friend and ‘brother-in-arms’. Pinning it down further to the summer of 66’ is the ‘God Only Knows’ reference. This to me is where I threw my hands up because well, wouldn’t you know guess whose favourite song it is and who played it to death in 66’:

(On the influence of Pet sounds on John)

PAUL: I played it to John so much that it would be difficult for him to escape the influence. If records had a director within a band, I sort of directed Pepper. And my influence was basically the Pet Sounds album. John was influenced by it, perhaps not as much as me. It was certainly a record we all played – it was the record of the time, you know?

Edit 2: I've discussed this a bit in the comments but thought it should go here in the main ask. To me it seems really unlikely that John, who lived and breathed music, communicated to his friends in coded song lyrics and measured time periods by songs (according to Mintz) would not have an especial association with Paul and God Only Knows, especially as Paul would not let up on how much he loved it. Loving someone romantically or platonically means remembering little details like that.

Furthermore, I did a bit more digging and found that John himself loved Pet Sounds but he never mentioned God Only Knows as one he particularly loved. I did however notice an anecdote from Alice Cooper recalling John talking to Brian Wilson about Pet Sounds in the mid 70s. In it John discusses Pet Sounds as something both he and Paul admired together.

''Hello Brian, I’ve always wanted to meet you. I’ve always admired your work, and Paul and I considered Pet Sounds one of the best albums ever made.''

To add to all this, you have:

staying at the George V, the same place John and Paul stayed at when they went to Paris the second time in 64’ (I couldn't find where they stayed in 66’ but it may have been the same hotel).

 ‘the underlying bastard’ of their relationship which has many possible meanings when it comes to John and Paul (jealousy, competitiveness etc.)

 dating of ‘three months’ before a big fall out. Three months takes us nowhere … but three years takes us to 1969 when things really started to go to hell for them

Then leaving in a seething rage but being like a force fed baby about them… a pretty great description of growing up loving someone and spending so much time with them from a young age or just being bombarded with information and memories about someone like John was with Paul in the 70s

Pure tin hat bollocks ignore me but the 'don't take me for granite Perry', 'Never' I sang reminds me so much of the Oh! Darling recording sessions.

The move from the third to first person in the last part of the section. It could be John acting as an omniscient narrator or revealing that there are certain truths to the story that affect him personally

 ‘To this day, his memories of her are clear and fresh.  Like a force-fed baby, he’ll never forget, and neither, I hope, will she.’’

So yes, whilst I am open to it being coincidental and just pure fantasy, I do think it is at the very least a little inspired by that summer or by his trips to Paris in general. But if the Aime is/is inspired by anyone real, it’s Paul. Aside from the history of Paris in their relationship and the God Only Knows reference, there’s also that John’s Mon Pau Pau demo:

Source: https://got-ticket-to-ride.tumblr.com/post/733073861959139328/john-chanelling-a-french-singer-in-an-audio-from (thank you @got-ticket-to-ride, I don't know how the hell you got hold of this but amazing you did)

I’m unsure with the transcription of the ‘garter … prod’ as Dogget could be right and it’s cartier … throat (though as an aside it’s always wild to me that his transcription removes the Pau Pau section, surely he knew enough about the Beatles + solo work to immediately get the reference and significance?) Nevertheless, John’s in this demo places Paul in the role of a coquettish women which would give the section of Skywriting precedence.

So if it’s potentially autobiographical, how true is the sleeping together bit? Honestly, I agree that I doubt they did it for too many reasons to go into here. But then why on earth has he written this? The tone of the passage is quite light-hearted so I don't think it's delving into any real feeling of angst or forbidden desire. Edit 3: @idontwanttospoiltheparty has raised that there isn't any real reason that John couldn't be playfully writing out a fantasy about Paul for various reasons. Considering John's mercurial moods towards Paul and the playful demo, I am inclined to agree that this was an oversight on my part and perfectly plausible. Aside from playful exploration or a personal joke about the potential boundary-crossing of their relationship, John could be describing their songwriting process. I can't find them right now (which is driving me crazy) but there are a few quotes from Paul which talk about John and Paul taking it in turns to 'turn each other on' with their music. Maybe John was riffing off that supplanting the intense, emotional act of songwriting with sex? Or maybe Paul was a very loose inspiration and the characters and their sexual relationships became their own. It's so hard to decide and discern but absolutely, the fact that he is potentially willing to go there in his mind indicates at least some acknowledgement that maybe feelings/ the relationship wasn't 1000 percent platonic or blurred the boundaries of a standard heterosexual male friendship for the time.

[dreameyess11]

Good father

Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Anakin Skywalker stood by the window, looking out into the starry expanse of space. The distant stars twinkled like tiny pinpoints of hope. But in his heart, a storm raged. His past was a web of regret, pain, and loss, but now the future loomed before him with hope. Two little lives. Two precious twins. Luke and Leia.

The faint sound of their soft cries drifted in from the other room. Anakin closed his eyes for a moment, taking in the sound with a tenderness that surprised even him. He wasn't used to that kind of love, the pure, unwavering devotion a father felt for his children. His thoughts drifted back to the first time he'd held them in his arms, their tiny faces wrinkled in confusion and wonder. They were perfect, a reflection of his redemption, and yet he felt unworthy of them.

As the days passed, Anakin found himself struggling with the idea of fatherhood. His life as a Jedi had never prepared him for this—he had been trained to fight, to serve, to protect, but never to care. Yet there he was, standing on the threshold of a new beginning, wanting to be the best father he could be.

He heard footsteps behind him. A soft, warm presence enveloped him like a comforting blanket. Anakin turned to find her standing there—his wife, his mate, his love. The woman who had helped him find the light again.

You smiled, your eyes filled with quiet strength. “They’re hungry,” you said softly.

Anakin nodded, but there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice. “I want to help… but I’m not sure how.”

You walked to his side, placing a gentle hand on his arm. “You’re already doing that,” you assured him. “Just by being here, by wanting to be involved, you’re already showing them how much you care about them.”

He smiled, grateful for your words, though doubts still lingered in his heart. They had always shared a deep connection, one that had been forged in both passion and struggle. But now they were parents, and there was no guide to tell him what to do. He could feel the weight of responsibility on his shoulders, but there was something else, too, something more powerful than the fear that had once controlled him. It was love.

As they entered the nursery, Anakin took a deep breath, his fingers brushing against the soft fabric of his son’s blanket. Luke’s small hand curled around his finger, and the world seemed to slow down, leaving only the warmth of that small hand. Leia, wrapped up next to her brother, looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this,” Anakin admitted quietly, his voice filled with vulnerability. “But I want to try. I want to be a good father to them.”

You stepped closer and rested a hand on his shoulder. “You already are. They will grow up knowing your love, your strength, and your heart. That is all they need.”

Anakin nodded, feeling the weight of your words settle in his chest. It wasn’t about being perfect, it was about being there, showing up every day, even when doubts clouded his mind. He had once feared his own ability to love, thinking it was a weakness that would destroy him. But now, with Luke and Leia in his arms, he realized it was his greatest strength.

The sound of the twins’ cries soon filled the room again, and Anakin smiled softly, his heart filling with tenderness. He was no longer the young Jedi who had once struggled to control his emotions. He had learned that love, in its purest form, was not something to be feared, it was something to be embraced.

Together, they cared for their children that night, and in every tender touch and every glance shared between them, Anakin knew that this was where he belonged. He was no longer alone. And for the first time in his life, he understood what it meant to truly be a father.

[mnmpopcorn]

BEAUTIFUL BOY !!

featuring you, toji, & baby megumi.

The quiet hum of the evening settled over the small apartment, a gentle warmth embraced the space, painting a soft golden glow as the sun dipped below the horizon. Toji Fushiguro leaned against the kitchen counter, a steaming cup of tea cradled in his hands. He watched as you sat cross-legged on the living room floor, surrounded by colorful toys and the very essence of innocence that was your little boy, Megumi.

He chuckled softly as Megumi scooped up his crayons, a determined look plastered across his face as he tried to color inside the lines of a not-so-straight outline on a sheet of paper. Your gentle cooing encouraged him, your voice a soothing balm that made the chaos of the world outside dissipate.

"Look, Daddy!" Megumi called, his tiny fingers smudged with blues and greens. The pride in his voice shimmered, illuminating even the shadowy corners of Toji's soul. He set his tea down and knelt to be at his son’s eye level.

"That’s amazing, buddy," he said, ruffling Megumi’s hair affectionately. A radiant smile broke across Megumi’s face, brighter than any sunrise Toji had ever witnessed. It was moments like these that made everything worth it, even in a life that often felt engulfed in darkness.

As you joined them, your presence infused the room with a sense of calm. You tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, watching the two of them with that soft, all-knowing gaze that made Toji’s heart ache.

“Mommy, look!” Megumi exclaimed, proudly displaying his artwork. Your eyes lit up with delight, and Toji couldn’t help but smile at the sight of you both, knowing how beautiful it was to see such joy unfold right before him.

Yet, amid the laughter and tenderness, a shadow lingered at the edges of Toji’s heart. The whispers from the past, the weight of responsibilities, the darkness he often grappled with—these were shadows that he tried to keep at bay for the sake of your family. The world outside raged on, but here, within the confines of your home, he wanted to capture that purity, to preserve these fleeting moments of happiness.

As night fell and the stars sprinkled themselves across the sky, Toji found himself in the small nursery with you, as you gently lulled Megumi to sleep. The boy snuggled in a cocoon of blankets, his tiny breaths even and rhythmic. You brushed your fingers against his cheek lovingly, a gesture that might have seemed simple to others, yet in it lay the profound love and hope of a thousand dreams.

Toji leaned against the doorframe, watching the scene unfold before him, heart swelling with an indescribable mix of emotion. Before he could process his thoughts, you caught his gaze and smiled softly, an unspoken bond tethering you both in that moment.

"Beautiful, isn't he?" you whispered, voice barely a breath.

"Yeah," Toji replied, a lump forming in his throat. “He really is.”

Yet even as he found solace in the warmth of the moment, dread seeped into the crevices of his heart. Any turbulent storm could crash through their fragile peace at any moment. Your life together, filled with laughter and unfiltered joy, was a treasure he never wanted to lose, but the weight of his past felt like a noose tightening around his neck.

"Toji," you spoke, breaking his thoughts, "What’s on your mind?"

He hesitated. There was such beauty in this ordinary moment, yet he’d always been taught that nothing good came without a price. "I just… I want to make sure we’re all right. That he’s safe. I’ve seen what’s out there." His voice was thick like molasses, tinged with regret and resolve.

You stepped closer, your presence like a lighthouse in tumultuous waters. “We’ll be okay. You’re here.”

“That’s the thing,” he rasped, struggling with the lump in his throat. “I can’t promise that forever.”

You looked into his eyes, searching for something unspoken. “Toji, you’re not alone in this. We have each other, and we have him. That’s what matters.”

He sighed, the doubt still lingering. “I just… wish I could give you the life you deserve. You both deserve so much more.”

A soft smile tugged at your lips, the one that could light up the darkest corners of his heart. “What I deserve is the life we have now. This. You, Megumi… it’s beautiful, it’s perfect in its own way.”

The bittersweetness of your words wrapped around him like a warm blanket and pierced through the shadows haunting him. But the fear remained—a specter lurking in the recesses of his mind, whispering doubts he couldn’t silence.

With a heavy heart, he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around you and Megumi’s crib. “Promise me we’ll always be this happy. That I’ll always be here.”

You nestled into his embrace, your body fitting against his like pieces of a puzzle. "I promise. As long as we stay together, whatever happens, we’ll find a way. You and me, forever.”

In that moment, as the stars twinkled above, Toji realized that despite the uncertainty looming in his life, the love surrounding him was a beacon, guiding him through the darkness—like the gentle melody of a lullaby, bittersweet yet undeniably beautiful, just like his beautiful boy.

[the-bluebird-you-need]

Only counting everyone's canon studio albums. Wings is counted for Paul. There were some date discrepancies, I had to decide what made the most sense in those cases. They will all be listed below the cut in date of the year order.

January 10 Look Up (R)

January 12 Y Not (R)

January 14 Liverpool 8 (R)

January 17 Yellow Submarine (B)

January 27 Milk and Honey (J)

January 30 Ringo 2012 (R)

February 1 Off the Ground (P)

February 6 Kisses on the Bottom (P)

February 14 George Harrison (G)

February 17 Rock 'n' Roll (J)

March 22 Please Please Me (B)

March 25 Ringo Rama (R)

March 26 Wings at the Speed of Sound (P)

March 27 Sentimental Journey (R)

March 31 London Town (P), Postcards from Paradise (R)

April 17 McCartney (P)

April 21 Bad Boy (R)

April 26 Tug of War (P)

May 4 Red Rose Speedway (P)

May 5 Flaming Pie (P)

May 8 Let It Be (B)

May 16 McCartney II (P)

May 17 Ram (P)

May 22 Time Takes Time (R)

May 26 Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (B)

May 30 Venus and Mars (P), Living in the Material World (G)

June 1 Somewhere in England (G)

June 4 Memory Almost Full (P)

June 5 Flowers in the Dirt (P)

June 7 Choose Love (R)

June 8 Back to the Egg (P)

June 12 Some Time in New York City (J)

June 16 Old Wave, Vertical Man (R)

July 10 A Hard Day's Night (B)

August 5 Revolver (B)

August 6 Help! (B)

August 25 Press to Play (P)

September 7 Egypt Station (P)

September 9 Imagine (J)

September 12 Chaos and Creation in the Backyard (P)

September 15 Give More Love (R)

September 17 Ringo's Rotogravure (R)

September 20 Ringo the 4th (R)

September 22 Extra Texture (G)

September 25 Beaucoups of Blues (R)

September 26 Abbey Road (B)

September 29 Walls and Bridges (J)

October 4 Run Devil Run (P)

October 11 New (P)

October 19 I Wanna Be Santa Claus (R)

October 22 Give My Regards to Broad Street (P)

October 25 What's My Name (R)

October 27 Stop and Smell the Roses (R)

October 29 Mind Games (J)

October 31 Pipes of Peace, CHOBA B CCCP (P)

November 2 Cloud Nine (G), Ringo (R)

November 5 Gone Troppo (G)

November 12 Driving Rain (P)

November 15 Goodnight Vienna (R)

November 17 Double Fantasy (J)

November 19 Thirty Three & 1⁄3, Brainwashed (G)

November 22 With the Beatles, The White Album (B)

November 27 Magical Mystery Tour (B), All Things Must Pass (G)

November 30 Band on the Run (P)

December 3 Rubber Soul (B), Wild Life (P)

December 4 Beatles for Sale (B)

December 9 Dark Horse (G)

December 11 John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band (J)

December 18 McCartney III (P)

[factcheckingmclennon]

john's princess: fact or fiction

you've read it in fics, you've seen people quote it, but did the apple staff/others REALLY call paul john's princess?

well...

let's dig into it!

this one comes from two asks- one over on my main and one here!

there's actually several sources on this one!

the first one i'll bring up is from francie schwartz. she is, btw, a notoriously terrible source and that's why i'm getting her out of the way first. she like really openly dislikes paul & you should take a lot of what she says with a grain of salt. however, she does call him john's princess.

here's the full page (of many) from her november 1969 piece in rolling stone called "memories of an apple girl"

and the interesting bit in question:

"John and Paul can shoot looks at each other and exchange thoughts. John, full of Da Vinci-esque chutzpah and Lewis Carroll whimsy and Joycean logic, projects authority, sovereignty. Can you dig that Paul is his princess? Paul giggles. John smiles like Oedipus."

the second source is from john lennon: the life by philip norman (2008) where he says this:

"Indeed, John's anger was more that of an ex-spouse than ex-colleague, reinforcing a suspicion already in Yoko's mind that his feelings for Paul had been far more intense than the world at large had ever guessed. From chance remarks he had made, she gathered there had even been a moment when—on the principle that bohemians should try everything—he had contemplated an affair with Paul, but had been deterred by Paul's immovable heterosexuality. Nor, apparently, was Yoko the only one to have picked up on this. Around Apple, in her hearing, Paul would sometimes be called John's Princess."

(pg. 668-69)

and the last one (updated now bc someone did indeed have the screenshot you're a lifesaver i'm kissing your feet etc)

but! here's the quote! from apple insiders:

"With Yoko ever present, Paul McCartney's reign as Lennon's princess was doomed."

apple to the core: the unmaking of the beatles by peter mccabe & robert d. schonfeld (1972) pg. 107

so while none of these Alone would be enough for me to think it was a thing that happened often, i think the second quote from norman saying yoko heard him being called "john's princess" is backed up by francie calling him that herself AND the quote from apple to the core

this is a situation of "a bunch of mediocrely reliable sources coming together to make one big reliable source given their agreement on the same subject"

[johns-prince]

if you don’t mind, what are some of your favorite soft mclennon moments?

JOHN: I used to try to get George to rebel with me. I’d say to him, “Look, we don’t need these fuckin’ suits. Let’s chuck them out of the window.” My little rebellion was to have my tie loose with the top button of my shirt undone. Paul’d always come up to me and put it straight. [x]

PAUL: There’s a story that I used to straighten John’s tie before we went on stage. That seems to have become a symbol of what my attitude was supposed to have been. I’ve never straightened anyone’s tie in my life, except perhaps affectionately.

The Times Profile of Paul McCartney - 1982 [x]

“And John and Paul thought back to the time they’d been in Paris before. Flat-broke, unable to afford a taxi, without funds for a decent meal. ‘Maybe we’ll buy the Eiffel Tower this time’, said John with a grin.”

“The Beatles in Paris.” Beatles Book Monthly Magazine No. 8 (March 1964). [x]

““Okay, okay,” I said, “don’t go on, John.” I felt a surge of embarrassment because my instrument was the cause of such hilarity. “Look guys, that’s enough. What have you two been doing while we’ve been struggling to get here? I hope you’ve done some practising and got the song list sorted out?” I was getting more and more annoyed as this episode was dragging on. “Yeah, yeah, don’t worry Len. Paul and I have got it all sorted out. Haven’t we Paul? Paul! Paul! I said haven’t we Paul?” Paul McCartney looked up with a wry smile and paused. “Tonight will run just like clockwork. I am going to give the audience the best rendition of ‘Guitar Boogie’ they have ever heard this side of Garston.” “Hey, this is a new twist,” I said. “Paul just cracked a joke. He must have a sense of humour after all, John, shall we have him in the group?” John was enjoying the banter as ever. “Yeah, we’ll give him another try and if you don’t get it right this time, Jimmy,” Jimmy (James) was Paul’s first name, “then…” John waited to see the expression on Paul’s face. “Then we’ll,” again a pause, and by this time we were hanging on John’s next words, “then we’ll have to send him for some more guitar lessons!” Paul joined in the laughter and at that we were all back to normal.”

— Len Garry, John, Paul and Me: Before The Beatles. (1997) [x]

“One of my great memories of John is from when we were having some argument. I was disagreeing and we were calling each other names. We let it settle for a second and then he lowered his glasses and he said: “It’s only me.” And then he put his glasses back on again. To me, that was John. Those were the moments when I actually saw him without the facade, the armour, which I loved as well, like anyone else. It was a beautiful suit of armour. But it was wonderful when he let the visor down and you’d just see the John Lennon that he was frightened to reveal to the world.” [x]

“Whatever bad things John said about me, he would also slip his glasses down to the end of his nose and say, ’I love you’. That’s really what I hold on to. That’s what I believe. The rest is showing off.” [x]

“I remember being shocked one day when John started worrying about how people would remember him when he was gone. It was an incredibly vulnerable thing for him to come out with. I said to him then, ‘They’ll remember you as a fucking genius, because that’s what you are. But, you won’t give a shit because you’ll be up there, flying across the universe.’” [x]

“If John Lennon could come back for a day, how would you spend it with him?”  “In bed.” — Paul McCartney answers questions for Q magazine, 1998. [x]

“John and I grew up like twins although he was a year and a half older than me. We grew up literally in the same bed because when we were on holiday, hitchhiking or whatever, we would share a bed. Or when we were writing songs as kids he’d be in my bedroom or I’d be in his. Or he’d be in my front parlour or I’d be in his, although his Aunt Mimi sometimes kicked us out into the vestibule!”

— September 26, 1997, “Paul McCartney - Meet The Beatle” by Steve Richards [x]

“We were recording the other night, and I just wasn’t there. Neither was Paul. We were like two robots going through the motions. We do need each other alot. When we used to get together after a month off, we used to be embarrassed about touching each other. We’d do an elaborate handshake just to hide the embarrassment… or we did mad dances. Then we got to hugging each other.”

— John Lennon, The Beatles by Hunter Davies [x]

Q: “What musician and composer do you respect most?” Paul: “No, I don’t know, really... John Lennon!” John: *mock-shy* “...Paul McCartney.” [x]

conversations with mccartney, paul du noyer [x]

“It was 8:30. I could hear people talking about the likelihood of a storm later on that evening. I can remember hoping that it would clear up before my cycle ride back to Wavertree. Up to now it had been an eventful day but very tiring and as a group, although committed to playing, we all wished that we could pack up and go home. All of us apart from John Lennon. I think that meeting Paul had whetted his appetite and by the time we went on stage for our session at 8:45 he looked refreshed and seemed to have a new sparkle, as though he had had an injection of renewed optimism and enthusiasm as he played and sang through our usual repertoire that evening. […] I went outside for some air and a smoke; John and Pete decided to come with me. We stood outside pulling on our cigarettes, enjoying the breeze that had risen with the oncoming storm. “Do you know, John,” remarked Pete as we stood outside, “I’ve never heard you sound as good as you did just then. I know you’re going to say that I’m not very musical but I could hear the difference. I can see that something’s happened to you. Even the skiffle numbers which I know you’re not that keen on sounded good. You seem to have put more effort into them.” “Pete’s right, John. I couldn’t help noticing it as well,” I said. John was silent for a few minutes, just enjoying his smoke. “I guess someone took the trouble to share what he knew with me and it’s just given me a little encouragement for the future, that’s all.” “Oh I see, you’re getting a little sentimental in your old age, aren’t you,” joked Pete, who had never seen his life-long friend in that light before. “Don’t be thick, Pete,” replied John, who seemed almost back to his normal abrupt self. “Come on, I need a drink.”” — Len Garry, John, Paul and Me: Before The Beatles. (1997) [x]

[x]

Paul's persistence and endless patience for John while he was dealing with the death of his mother Julia:

But Paul seemed to have limitless patience for John, sneaking away from his classes to drink coffee at the Jacaranda coffeehouse, or else spend the afternoon nursing pints and punching rock ‘n’ roll songs on the jukebox at Ye Cracke pub. Certainly, Paul preferred hanging out with his friend to grinding through lectures and assignments at his schoolboy’s desk at the Liverpool Institute. But the hours they spent together held an emotional significance, too. For even if they rarely spoke about the pain of losing their mothers, the mutual feelings of loss—and the rawness of John’s wound—gave them a connection that was as vital as it was unspoken. It was, Paul said later, a “special bond for us, something of ours, a special thing.” … “We could look at each other,” Paul said, “and know.”” 

…

John, however, had other things on his mind. Though the fall of 1958 and well into 1959, John was far too busy engaging in art-school life—if not exactly his studies—to think much about playing in a rock ‘n’ roll band. He had started dating another student, a quiet blonde from the relatively posh Hoylake district on the Wirral, named Cynthia Powell. She proved a warm, stabilizing influence, which helped mitigate John’s ongoing grief and rage.

He had also grown particularly close to one of the school’s most promising students, a blazingly talented painter named Stuart Sutcliffe, whose emotional portraits and densely wrought abstracts had already caught the eye of the university’s instructors, along with the gallery owners, artists and critics who orbited the bohemian section that bordered the campus. John had been drawn to Stu’s talent, too, and when his classmate invited John to move into his large, if downtrodden, flat around the corner from the college in a row of once-elegant homes on Gambier Terrace, the two art students became even closer. The flat became a hub for their college friends, a reliable address for drinking bouts and all-night parties.

 Nevertheless, Paul made certain not to be a stranger. He was a regular around Gambier Terrace, often toting his guitar to spur a little playing and singing, and if circumstance permitted, a bit of songwriting. John remained an eager music fan, and generally enthusiastic partner for playing and singing. But his disinterest in the band, prompted at least in part by his deepening friendship with Stu, frustrated Paul. 

…

John was moving on, and not in a promising direction. George, for his part, had grown sick of waiting and joined the jazz-and-skiffle centered Les Stewart Quartet, though he made it clear to Paul he’d be back with the Quarrymen whenever they resumed playing. Paul, on the other hand, wasn’t interested in playing with anyone else. For whatever combination of emotional or visceral reasons, he couldn’t seem to imagine a musical life that didn’t include John Lennon as his primary partner.

So he persisted, dragging his guitar to Gambier Terrace, making himself a fixture amid the empty beer bottles, overflowing ashtrays, shattered Vicks inhalers, and paint-splattered clothes.

If John didn’t evince any interest in being in a band, Paul would simply wait, guitar at the ready, until he did.

— Peter Ames Carlin, Paul McCartney: A Life [x]

[fireintheimpala]

McCartney II

Paul McCartney's 1980 album 'McCartney II' is such an interesting piece of work. It's a banging, sexy album! He finally breaks up Wings and releases his first solo album in a decade. He releases it in May 1980, Lennon loves it, and by June 1980 John Lennon is hard at work on his first album in 5 years.

What's this Lennon-inspiring album about??

I TRY not to read into McCartney's lyrics, since he keeps claiming they're all about "nothing in particular." But let's just list the tracks, skipping the instrumentals.

Coming Up - Hey guy who likes peace and stuff, you want (quotes Don't Let Me Down) a love to last forever? I wanna help. We can be together. We can make it! It's coming up like a flower, the word I most commonly use to describe love!

Temporary Secretary - I want a kinky secretary and I don't care what kind of girl she is.

On the Way - Well, we've been traveling for a long time and we finally finished here. Though I said some things to hurt you, well, it was only out of fear. Wouldn't want to see you crying so l hope you don't mind the things I say on the way. Well, you know I'll always love you. Everything will be alright.

Waterfalls - I need love

Nobody Knows - nobody knows, baby, and that's the way I like it

Summer's Day Song - tomorrow our bad dream will be over, the world will soon be waking

Bogey Music - we gotta bogey. clean your bogey act up, let's bogey!

Darkroom - I got a sexy dark place we can go, let me show you.

One of These Days

One of these days, when my feet are on the ground I'm gonna look around and see See what's right, see what's there And breathe fresh air ever after One of these days, when a job just takes too long I'm gonna sing my song and see See what's right, see what's there And breathe fresh air ever after It's there, it's round It's to be found By you, by me It's all we ever wanted to be One of these days, when we both are at our ease When you've got time to please yourself See what's right and see what's there And breathe fresh air ever after

And let us not forget its B-Side single!

Secret Friend - I know we'll find our way if you will say you'll be my secret friend. I need you.

This is the message that brought John Lennon out of retirement.

[tavolgisvist]

The Beatle way of life was like a young kid entering the big world, entering it with friends and conquering it totally. And that was fantastic. An incredible experience. So when that idea really came that we should break up, I don't think any of us wanted to accept it. It was the end of the legend, even in our own minds. Marilyn Monroe gets to believe eventually that she's Marilyn Monroe. Now I feel that's how the Beatles got to be -- I'm just speaking for me. You were very much a Beatle in your own eyes, and to an extent we all still are. Thinking back, I think it was great what John said. And he told us, 'Look everything sort of comes together right.' And now I agree. We'd just made this album and it was to be called 'Get Back' and on the cover was a photograph showing us in exactly the same position as in the first album we'd made -- the whole lettering and the background was exactly reproduced. So John said, 'It's a perfect circle, you know.' I think what John did was tremendous from the point of view of 'Okay, so we are actually going to go our own ways.' You just can't be as tied together as we were for so long a period of time, unless you all live in the same house. From then onward it was to be a question of living your own life, which was the first real turn-on for me in a long time -- and this coincided with my meeting Linda. So early in 1970 I phoned John and told him I was leaving the Beatles too. He said, 'Good! That makes two of us who have accepted it mentally.'

(Paul McCartney, April 16th 1971, interview with Richard Merryman for Life Magazine)

By the way, what happened to my idea of putting the parody of our first album cover on the Let It Be cover?

(John Lennon's letter, published in Melody Maker in the December 4th 1971)

[menlove]

any introductory beatles (just mclennon tbh) fics? 🤲

LORD OKAYYYYY i'll try not to go too crazy and just stick to my alltime faves.....

first of all anything @forthlin (milaway on ao3) has written literally ever. i am going to eat them one day. they are the yin to my yang and also the best writer this fandom has ever seeeeen. um. anyway! like i said, all their fics. but i'd Particularly rec your lucky break which is an au where john is a 30 something rockstar and paul is an up and coming musician in the 70s. and well! what can i say about this fic except it's sooo in character, hot, and also the reason i started talking to the best person on this earth so whatever

also completelyyyyy selfish but hey i only wrote half so i'm counting it but we also have an ongoing series: i want you, i need you, i love you where they're writing john's povs and i'm writing paul's! it's just basically our take on their timeline & relationship, but the third installment's going to be a fix-it

now onto me not being gay or selfish here's some of my favorites that i think are Must Reads.

Boy, You've Been A Naughty Girl

explicit. 49k. John makes Paul a bet. Paul takes him up on it. Crossdressing shenanigans and angst ensue, and ~feelings come out in the wash. 1961. rec notes: okay look. this one is just a classic. it's great. esp love it bc it's right up my alley with its "paul isn't an oblivious moron" takes. also.... hot.

I Still Miss Someone/I Know That I Miss You but I Don't Know Where I Stand

explicit. 64k. It's 1976 and Paul keeps showing up on John's doorstep with a guitar. Eventually John turns him away and Paul goes off to sulk in his hotel room the night before his flight from New York. Based on real events. rec notes: aaaaugh this one haunts me there's one scene i think of literally every time "i still miss someone" by johnny cash comes on, which is one of my fave songs. it's not a fix-it, but it's so so so good for the Vibes of their 70s relationship :(

Like Love, The Archers Are Blind

explicit. 22k. He wants to push Stuart out of the way, not even with a violent yank of his collar like he sometimes imagines. Just to melt into his place like butter sliding in a pan. Have it be an effortless breath of fresh air when John looks up at him and sees it all reflected back in his eyes. It’s you. rec notes: this one is just... soft. and so good for a snapshot of the hamburg vibe.

i was a younger man then (now) (post hoc)

mature. 27k. John’s twelve when a bloke appears from a flaming pie and says, “From this day forward you are Beatles with an ‘a.’” The bloke is Paul. Or: paul and john meet at all ages and eras and john is the time-traveler’s wife the way only john lennon can be rec notes: literally my favorite mclennon fic everrrrrr ever ever. other than your lucky break. this is everything. this is it. like it nails their dynamic even though it's a magical au. it explores their relationship sooooo fucking well. i think about it like weekly.

John My Beloved

explicit. 33k. They've always loved each other, in their own way… rec notes: OTHER FAVORITE EVER it broke my heart it changed my fucking lifeeeee it changed my world. major character death warning but fuck man. i think about this literally constantly. this fic haunts me. i think it changed me. i had to stare at a wall for like 30 minutes after finishing it. i got choked up.

two of us (burning matches)

explicit. 6k. It won't stop raining. Paul doesn't know what his feelings are doing. John's practising his right swing. Somewhere along the way, they fuse together. rec notes: this one is just cuuuute and perfect for the Early Days Vibes.

Grow Old With Me

explicit. 8k. fix-it. Paul breaks his arm, and John panics. rec notes: SOOOO FUCKING SWEET. this is what they deserved and i like to live here in my mind when the reality of what actually happened gets to be too much.

1967

mature. 11k. canon-divergent au. In 1961, John Lennon and Paul McCartney left abruptly on a trip to Spain, via France. In 1967, they finally come home to face the consequences. rec notes: the style of this one is INSANE. it's so unique and i love it sososososo much. also the plot? is super unique???? basically it's an au where they never came home from paris and it's.... so fucking good. i love the way it looks at their dynamic like fuck. it's just perfect.

Way Up Top

explicit. 12k. Falling out of the sky, together. | Snapshots of the Beatles in Greece, July 1967 rec notes: LOVE this one for its portrayal of all non-mclennon parties. it fleshes everyone out, especially jane and cyn, in ways a lot of fics just skip. just sooo well written and melancholic in a great way i think.

When You Are Young They Assume You Know Nothing

mature. 26k. But Paul knows John. There’s something about Paris, though... rec notes: THE paris fic to me. this is soooo good and so fucking soft and it just. augh. it killed me.

a brief interruption, a slight malfunction

explicit. 12k. During the rooftop concert, John remembers why he used to find Paul so irresistible after a show. One more time won't hurt, right? rec notes: perfect breakup era fic. my rec notes on ao3 were "this was devastating :)" so. god. this fucked me up.

aaand honorary mentions to the two non-mclennon fics i've read but !

Knocking at Your Door

george/paul. explicit. 6k. It's easy enough, this time, to lean in and touch their lips together. A firm press of his mouth to Paul's; first at the corner, then right on the centre of his yielding, expressive lower lip. Paul and George: a few meetings over thirty-six years. rec notes: the opening sentence to this made me sick to my stomach and then the rest of the fic destroyed me permanently

Where The Sailors Go

ringo/paul. explicit. 5k. A drunken German mistakes Paul, alone in Hamburg's red light district, for a rentboy. Ringo, the Hurricanes' terrifyingly adult drummer, intervenes. Things happen, but Paul can't stop thinking about John. rec notes: PRINGOOOOO. with background mclennon. this was so real to me. also in the same universe as this fic is (It's Just) Another Day which is a transfem paul mclennon fic that rooocked my world. it's still a wip but holy fuck. made me rearrange the way i see paul tbh.

[torchlitinthedesert]

Up for auction: 1971 letter from John, inviting Eric Clapton to join the Plastic Ono Band. John sounds excited and enthusiastic, filling eight pages with ideas for new approaches to touring (including a bit about performing/recording on a boat that gave me Get Back QE2 flashbacks, especially since he wants EMI to pay for it all. And make an experimental film of it.). John suggests people bring partners (who might appear on stage) and their families - interesting given how negative the rock press would be about that. I'm also rolling my eyes at the macho phrasing of "you could make the kind of sound that could bring back the Balls in rock'n'roll" - very early 1970s rock world.

It's a real charm offensive. John is working hard for Clapton's favour: repeatedly assuring him that he admires him, discreetly sympathising with Clapton's recent health problems (heroin addiction), promising he wouldn't have to do anything he didn't like and John will still "love and respect" him if he says no. He mentions Yoko often, but writes as "I" rather than JohnandYoko. He noticeably doesn't mention George or the other Beatles.

What's up for auction is a draft copy, with crossings out and omissions (I'm amused by "Dear Eric and", John presumably not being completely sure who Eric's current girlfriend was).

More images and transcript below the cut.

Dear Eric and

I've been meaning to write or call you for a few weeks now. i think maybe writing will give you and yours more time to think.

You must know by now that Yoko and i rate your music and yourself very highly, always have. you also know the kind of music we've been making and hope to make. Anyway the point is, after missing the Bangla-Desh concert, we began to feel more and more like going on the road, but not the way I used to with the Beatles - night after night of torture. We mean to enjoy ourselves, take it easy, and maybe even see some of the places we go to! We have many 'revolutionary' ideas for presenting shows that completely involve teh audience - not just the 'superstars' 'up there' - blessing the people - but that's another letter really.

I'll get more to the point. We've asked Klaus Jim Keltner, Nicky Hopkins - Phil Spector even! to form a 'nucleus' group (Plastic Ono band) - and between us all would decide what - if any - augmentation to the group we'd like - eg saxs, vocal group whatever we like, they all seem to agreed so far - and of course we had YOU!!! in mind as soon as we decided.

in the past when Nicky was working around (Stones etc) bringing your girl/woman/wife was frowned on - with us it's the opposite, Nicky's missus - will also come with us - on stage if she wants (Yoko has ideas for her!) - or backstage. Our uppermost concern is to have a happy group in body & mind. Nobody will be asked to do anything that they don't want to, no-one will be held to any contract of any sort - (unless they wanted to of course!)

back to music. i've/we've long admired your music - and always kept an eye open to see what your up to of late. [lately] i really feel real I/we can bring out the best in you - (some kind of security financial or otherwise will help) but the main thing is the music. I consider, Klaus, Jim, Nicky, Phil, Yoko, you could make the kind of sound that could bring back the Balls in rock'n'roll.

Both of us have been thru the same kind of shit/pain that I know you've had - and i know we could help each other in that area - but mainly Eric - i know i can bring out something great - in fact greater in you that has been so far evident in your music, I hope to bring out the same kind of greatness in all of us - which i know will happen if/when we get together.

i'm not trying to pressure you in anyway and would quite understand if you decide against joining us, we would still love and respect you. We're not asking you for your 'name', i'm sure you know this - its your mind we want!

Yoko and i are not interested in earning bread from public appearances, but neither do we expect the rest of the band (who mostly have familys) to work for free - they/you must all be happy monewise as well - otherwise what's the use for them to join us. We don't ask you/them to ratify everything we believe politically - but we're certainly interested in 'revolutionising' the world thru music, we'd love to 'do' Russia, China, Hungary, Poland, etc. A friend of ours just got back from Moscow, and the kids over there are really hip - they have all the latest sounds on tape from giant radios they have. 'Don't come without your guitar' was the message they sent us, there are millions of people in the East - who need to be exposed to our kind of freedom/music/. We can change the world - and have a ball at the same time.

We don't want to work under such pressure that we feel dead on stage or have to pep ourselves up to live, maybe we could do 2 shows a week even, it would be entirely up to us. One idea that i had which we've discussed tentatively (nothing definite) is goes like this,

I know we have to rehearse sometime or other, i'm sick of going on and jamming every live session. i've also always wanted to go across the Pacific from the U.S. thru all those beautiful islands - across to Australia, New Zealand, Japan - wherever, you know - Tahiti, Tonga - etc, so I came up with this

How about a kind of 'Easy Rider' at sea. i mean we get Emi or a sane film co, to finance a big ship with 30 people aboard (including crew) - we take 8 track recording equipment with us (mine probably) more equipment - and we rehearse on the way over - record if we want, play anywhere we fancy - say we film from L.A. to Tahiti, we stop there if we want - maybe have the film developed there - stay a week or as long as we want - collect the film, (of course we'll might probably film wherever we stop (if we want) and edit it on board etc. (Having just finished a movie we made around our albums 'imagine' 'fly' - it's a beautiful surreal film, very surreal, all music, only about Two words spoken in the whole thing! We know we are ready to make a major movie). Anyway its just a thought, we'd always stay as near to land as possible, and of coruse we'd take Doctors etc, in case of any kind of bother. We'd always be able to get to a place where someone could fly off if they've had enough. The whole trip could take 3-4-5-6 months, depending how we all felt - all familys children whatever are welcome etc. Please don't think you have to go along with the boat trip, to be in the band. I just wanted to let you know everything we've been talking about. (I thought we'd really be ready to hit the road after such a healthy restful rehearsal.

Anyway there it is, if you want to talk more please call me us, or even come over here to N. York. We're at the St. Regis here til Nov 30 at least (753-4500- ext | room 1701) all expenses paid of course! or write. At least think about it, please don't be frightened, i understand paranoia, only to well, i think it could only do good for you, and would bring to work with people who love and respect you, and that's from all of us. anyway enough of that, lots of love to you both from

John + Yoko

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.4

It's in the paper that Allen Klein was involved in 40+ lawsuits and John doesn't question it? At this point, I feel like he just didn't want to let Paul be right about anything. 

My question is who did that work on before? I mean who fucking does business like that? Let alone business with the most successful man in the world. 

John's complaining about Paul being too good at his job is both hilarious (what the hell is Paul supposed to do with that) and sad (it shows just how far their musical relationship has degraded from partners to rivals)

How did they lose Northern Songs? Genuinely, if anyone can break it down for me I'd be so grateful. Anyway I'm sure it was devastating for both of them. “Who'd have the children?” “Dick James”. 

I know I'm insane, but can I be allowed to see a glimmer of goodness here? I really do think it's John's kinder side winning out when he decides not to lie. Like, yes, he gets a buzz off of watching Paul go white at his words, but I think he also just – in that moment – didn't have the heart to trick Paul into staying. 

But also. Why are we trying to maneuver Paul at all if the end game is for John to leave? It just doesn't make sense to try to trick Paul into signing the contract unless John's divorce threat is at the very least not meant to be final. 

I will never understand this picture. Even in the emotional state he's in, he's still hamming it up? There is something seriously wrong with this man. 

I do find it interesting that the fact that Paul cried his eyes out after that meeting isn't even mentioned in the doc. I wonder why. 

Let's put the bizarre, super-warped timeline in this quote aside for a minute. Apparently the depression started after Brian died and it lasted for about two years and John was still in it during Pepper. Okay. That aside . . .

I have to assume this negative lense on what I can only assume means the period between 66 and 68 is highly influenced by hindsight bias. I agree that John was depressed at the time, in an unhappy marriage, doing too much LSD, etc and that looking at Paul's prolific talent and expansive , fast-paced life would have been maddening. But everyone go back to the end of part one really quick. He looks extremely happy. He sounds extremely happy. Everyone who knows him says he's never been happier. I think he just can't accept right now that there was so much good and he's lost it. 

“I look from the wings at the play you are staging . . . I don't know why nobody told you how to unfold your love.”

Insanity quote Hall of Fame. Paul explaining why the Beatles just had to break up, obviously, because he and John "didn't marry the same girl." Someone write the fic where John and Paul both marry the same girl. Could be Yoko or Linda. Sister trad wives au. 

Okay, cool, so this means I have full permission to interpret and tin hat about any lyrics I want then, right?

But also. Are we just not going to talk about the fact that Paul dumped a bucket of garbage water and punched this person? And are we not mentioning the depression and alcoholism and heroin abuse during this time?

It's so embarrassing how he looks to her for confirmation here. John, they asked you what you think. Just you. Not some complicated definition. Not Yoko's definition. Just your own thoughts.

“I couldn't wait for them to make up their mind about peace or whatever. About committing themselves.” Yeah, John. You sound real committed to peace. Or whatever. Here's a theory that anyone can shoot down if they want: John asked Paul for some kind of commitment (a friendship wedding, a partnership contract, a mutual wanking pledge) in India and Paul was a chicken about it. 

What was that day like, I wonder? I imagine extremely stiff and professional and horrid. But who knows. Maybe it was nice, and maybe that made everything worse.

I will go to my death believing that instant karma was for Paul. 

Do we think John actually did send Paul “about twenty postcards from Denmark” all covered in hearts none of which Paul responded to? Paul could be just as cruel in his lack of reaction as John was in his over reaction.

I'm sorry but that is not what a man says when he's just lying to the press to buy time for business. That's what a man says to the press when he's trying desperately to communicate with someone who he can't get through to any other way. 

But really, I just don't understand why the creator chose to minimize Paul's emotional response to John's divorce statement. If we don't see him bawling his eyes out and losing the will to live, he comes off like a self-assured, uncaring, jerk. Which. To be fair. John didn't see those things, and that is exactly what John thought of Paul during this time. But still. The audience now comes away from this doc with a skewed view. 

All we get is Paul being pissed off about Phil Spector butchering Let it Be without his consent and John and George trying to change McCartney's release date without his consent. Which are both a) understandable and b) strong, male, angry reactions. Making this section portray Paul in the same one-dimensional hyper-masculine way that John so often is. Which isn't my favorite. But hey, it's my only complaint about this doc so far.

Anyway, update: I won't be able to do part three until it gets reuploaded, so we're on hiatus for this project for the time being.

[crepesuzette2023]

Hey! I'd love to hear your thoughts (and your readers' too!) or, if you'd like, your headcanon for what John and Paul's friendship/relationship/situationship might have looked like in the 80s if John hadn’t been murdered.

The more I listen to Paul's 70s discography, the more I feel just how much he seemed to miss John, and things didn’t seem to be getting easier as the decade came to a close. We know that songs like Now and Then and Real Love offer a glimpse into John's feelings, and there was clearly a sense of him missing Paul back.

So, do you have any headcanon about what could have been between them in that decade?

This is such a fascinating ask. Thank you.

I recently listened to McCartney II again, and also to Double Fantasy and Milk and Honey. And it struck me how alive and creative both of them were—and it made me think of their planned studio/writing date in January '81, which didn't happen.

What could their relationship have looked like, if John had lived? On the creative/musical level, I'm torn. Yes, they were Lennon and McCartney, and each of them was at a peak individually—surely they would have done great things together? But then I think of John describing the "Toot & A Snore" session, and how everyone was staring at him and Paul in the studio. Yes, they could have met in secret to write—but at some point, they would have had to share their new songs with the public. And I can totally imagine a situation where the public would have said, 'no thanks,' with only us, now, realizing how good their first album together actually was…(a la Ram)...and maybe they would have stopped after that...or wait: Paul would not have let them stop. :-)

In my mind, I'm fond of the idea of them collaborating and writing together, with space for each of them to do their own thing, provided they still enjoyed it and were happy with the results. It's impossible to say if that would have been the case. But in some weird way, I can't imagine them becoming friends (and more?) again without also enjoying writing together. Given the drama that played out via the press in the 70’s, neither of them cared about endless questions about the past, or the burden of being Lennon/McCartney. So perhaps...they would have written together under a pseudonym?! All their lives? Until this very day? Love that thought. (Didn't John have a tour planned with Double Fantasy? For some reason, I'm not really thinking about them forming a band again, or touring together in a systematic way.)

As for their friendship/relationship/situationship—God Only Knows what the fic writer in me would have wanted for them! :-)

All I can say is that I can't imagine a sustained, fruitful musical/songwriting collaboration without imagining them being genuinely close again. I'm not trying to avoid the 'lovers' question; I think what I said would be true regardless of the degree of canoodling: I don't think they would have written together again without being fond of, and enjoying, each other. The fact that they apparently planned studio time together before John died, suggests that the curiosity (hope?) was there.

I don't think they would have written masterpieces on the level of the Beatles, had they started writing again. But I'm only saying that because my imagination is more limited than their talent.

I think their relationship in the late 70's is difficult to gauge, and I tend to avoid that time period, because, knowing what will happen to John, it makes me sad. Musically they were in a good place in ‘79/’80. But maybe, if they had met and tried to write again, they would have concluded that they were worlds apart, and that would have been that.

But maybe they would have started to co-headline certain festivals? And always been *aware* of each other?!

And you know what— there was a kinkmeme prompt once, or was it a prompt for the Summer of Love fic-a-thon? Where John Lennon lives, and is going to bat for Paul and Broad Street when it's panned by the critics. I know Paul wouldn't have made GMRTBS with John alive, but he would have been panned for something, and guess who would have come out in his defense? Regardless of shared credits and secret or spouse-endorsed canoodling? Jooooohhhhhnnnnn.

That's the kind of scenario that makes me happy.

I hope this is giving you something. I would love to hear your thoughts, too, @therealsaintscully!

[muzaktomyears]

KANE: What about the gifts? I notice more and more you've been getting more and more gifts from fans. What was the most unusual gift you've ever received? I know there's so many - is there one that sticks out in your mind? LENNON: [laughs] I once received a bra- KANE: You did? LENNON: -with "I Love John" embroidered on it. I thought it was pretty original. I didn't keep it, mind you. It didn't fit.

Ticket to Ride: Inside the Beatles' 1964 Tour That Changed the World, Larry Kane (2003)

[thebeatles-world]

John lennon x assistant reader enemies to lovers imagine: part 3

The next morning, you woke up tangled in Ringo’s sheets, the room bathed in soft morning light. The events of the previous night blurred in your mind—whispered confessions, heated kisses, and the release of emotions that had lingered for so long.

Ringo’s warmth still surrounded you, his familiar presence now transformed into something new and unsettling. For a moment, you watched him sleep beside you, his arm resting over your waist, his face looked so peaceful.

But as the reality of the situation sank in, so did the shock. You had just slept with Ringo Starr, one of the member of the Beatles and one of most famous men in the world. The weight of that realization hit you like a tidal wave. He wasn’t just the quiet, kind presence who had been there for you in moments of need—he was Ringo Starr, adored by millions. And somehow, you had crossed a line you never thought you would.

Your heart pounded as you lay there, the gravity of what had happened growing heavier by the second. It wasn’t just about Ringo’s fame.

It was about John. You had been drawn to John for so long, caught up in his charm, his wit, and the way he made you feel alive with every smile. John had been the one you were falling for, the one who made your heart race. And now, you had betrayed him.

Guilt swept over you like a cold wave, tightening your chest. How had you let this happen? John had trusted you, confided in you, and shared something special with you.

Yet here you were, wrapped in Ringo’s sheets after a night that had changed everything. You couldn’t even remember how it escalated—too quickly, too intensely—but it had, and there was no undoing it now.

You swallowed hard, trying to make sense of the emotions swirling inside you. There was no denying your feelings for Ringo.

The way he looked at you, how he was always there when you needed someone—it had affected you deeply. But this felt like a betrayal, not only to John but also to yourself.

Carefully, you slipped out of bed, trying not to wake Ringo as you stood, your heart racing. You needed to clear your head, to figure out how to deal with what had happened.

The reality of being with Ringo, and what it meant for your relationship with John, was crashing down on you.

What would John think when he found out? Could you even face him after this? The thought of his disappointment, the hurt in his eyes, made your stomach turn. John had always been someone you could rely on—someone who made you laugh, made you feel like you were the only girl in the world. And now… you had ruined it.

You glanced back at Ringo, still soundly asleep, unaware of the storm raging inside you. He didn’t deserve this, either. Neither of them did. But what was done was done.

With a heavy heart, you moved to the window, staring out at the early morning sky. The sun was just beginning to wake, but your world already felt like it had collapsed.

You didn’t know what to do—whether to confess to John or keep it a secret. Either way, you were caught between two incredible men, both of whom you cared for deeply, and both of whom you had now hurt.

As you stood there in silence, the weight of your decisions pressing down on you, one thing was painfully clear: nothing would ever be the same again.

Comment if you want part four 🔥

[donethedevilspedicure]

YOU

Context: So, I have somewhat recently become very hyperfixated on the Stans, and as one does when having a new hyperfixation: you scroll their shipping tag on Ao3. So I've read a lot of fanfics, some I've enjoyed and some not being my cup of tea. And very single time I found one I really liked. Like, deeply liked. Especially when it came to the characterization, I would happily scroll my way down to the comments to see how other people reacted. Keep in mind, I don't really pay attention to authors unless they really really intrigue me. And Every Time. Every. Time. Without fail I would see that damn clown picture Responding to the comments. Thanking everyone for reading. Being really sweet. It drove me insane. Every time I expected it to be someone different, either cause of the concept or just because I was like on page 40 of the stancest tag BOOM, it would be you. Somehow writing something that scratched such a specific itch in my brain. Or something honestly so beautiful and intriguing that I couldn't stop myself from reading. Something that always rung so true for their relationship or their adventures that it was impossible not to think of it being as close to cannon as possible. LONG STORY SHORT: I adore your stories and sometimes it feels like you're writing for me personally (though don't get it twisted I know that isn't the case.) And somehow, I always end up surprised that its you! And the fact I was able to randomly find you on Tumblr along on Ao3 sent me over the moon because it meant I could FINALLY, face to face, tell you how awesome your writing is! Thank you for creating, pllleasssse don't stop. Even if you fall out of Stancest or whatever, your genuinely really talented and I adore your concepts outside of fanfic! Just! Thank you! <:]

Oh my–..!

I haven't been on here for a hot minute, and it's currently very close to my bedtime, and I pop in to this and HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO EVER BE ABLE TO PHRASE ANYTHING THAT PROPERLY ENVELOPES HOW YOU JUST MADE ME FEEL? HUH?

ESPECIALLY LATE AT NIGHT.

Yet I can't just push responding to this until tomorrow and play it cool, I'm not that kind of clown. I'm a jittery mess who's been struggling a lot with feeling very redundant in the Stancest space for a while, and if I could bottle up the feeling that your inbox ask just poured into my veins and distribute it throughout the world's water supply, John Lennon would feel like a warmonger for writing Imagine in comparison. Gosh. Fuck. Argh.

How dare you. Please behold this incredibly uncool response as a feeble present in response until I've found myself able to wax the poetics you deserve. Please... I don't even know. Please do this to many more people, as many as you want to when your paths cross ways. Holy shit. You couldn't possibly guess the impact of your words, and that's even with my impostor syndrome doing the cancan and blocking me out from taking much more than sips of what you wrote to me.

Impact. Jesus.

Thank you is just a grain of sand from the coastline of my gratitude towards you.

[johns-prince]

“John was determined to be open and friendly. George, however, seemed edgy, and all of his replies were curt and had a hostile edge to them. A long hour went by, filled with off- and- on talk about the tour. Then John finally hinted that he would be willing to play with George when he appeared at Madison Square Garden. “Well, maybe I can come and help ya,” he said.

“The last time John Lennon set foot on a concert stage, it was Thanksgiving 1974, making a surprise appearance with his friend Elton John at a sold-out Madison Square Garden.

. . . .

John announces, “We thought we’d do one last number so I can get out of here and be sick. This is a number of an old estranged fiancé of mine called Paul.”

They do “I Saw Her Standing There,” their big finale. Even in the raw recording Elton released as a B-side, you can hear John get caught up in the crowd’s excitement. It’s his night to shine onstage in New York, for the first time in years and the last time ever.

Why is he doing a Paul song? Why is he making this moment about him and Paul, when all anybody wants is to cheer and shower John with love? But in the middle of the crowd, he calls Paul’s name.” 

[Rob Sheffield, Dreaming The Beatles]

“That’d be nice.” George glowered at John. Then George’s anger really burst forth. “Where were you when I needed you!” he snapped. It was the first of a series of explosions, each of them followed by moments of tense silence. “I did everything you said. But you weren’t there,” he repeated.

Their relationship would, for a time, be strengthened through their meditative practices. “Just by the look in his eyes I felt we were connected,” Harrison opined. Their intriguing bond was strengthened during a shared journey of inner realisation towards higher consciousness. “John and I spent a lot of time together from then on,” Harrison would later recall, “and I felt closer to him than all the others. I understood him, and I believe our thoughts were much more in line with each other.”

[Come Together: Lennon and McCartney in the Seventies by Richard White]

“You always knew how to reach me,” John would reply evenly to each of these outbursts.

There was no doubt in my mind, watching those two, that George’s anger with John had been accumulating for years. It was exactly the kind of situation that John usually ran from. But I could see in that moment that he loved George enough to remain calm and still as George drilled away at him.

George said that repeatedly in the past he had sung what John wanted him to sing, said what John wanted him to say. Because John wanted it, George had gone along with the decision to go with Allen Klein. In the nearly four years since, John had virtually ignored him, a fact that pained George deeply. George’s voice grew even more harsh as he blasted John for his sudden appearance, as if out of nowhere, to offer an evening’s worth of help.

Yet again George said furiously, “I did everything you said, but you weren’t there.”

Jim Keltner: “George was very, very heavily influenced by John, all of John’s thinking and the way John did things in the world, and the way he handled his Beatledom, you know. I think that George was very affected by that.”

Suddenly he leveled his gaze at John. “You know, John,” he snarled, “I want to see your eyes. I can’t see you eyes.”

Paul McCartney: “One of my great memories of John is from when we were having some argument. I was disagreeing and we were calling each other names. We let it settle for a second and then he lowered his glasses and he said: “It’s only me.” And then he put his glasses back on again. To me, that was John. Those were the moments when I actually saw him without the facade, the armour, which I loved as well, like anyone else. It was a beautiful suit of armour. But it was wonderful when he let the visor down and you’d just see the John Lennon that he was frightened to reveal to the world.”

John was wearing his sunglasses. He reached up and quickly took them off and put on his regular glasses. He was willing to do anything to pacify George. But the gesture was not enough. It looked as though George was going to slap John.

“I still can’t see your eyes.” Suddenly he reached over, yanked John’s glasses from his face, and dashed them to the floor. His face was a mask of fury and contempt; I had never seen an angrier man. George’s anger even paralyzed John.

Paul McCartney: “Whatever bad things John said about me, he would also slip his glasses down to the end of his nose and say, ’I love you’. That’s really what I hold on to. That’s what I believe. The rest is showing off.”

I knew how panicky John became when he could not see. I expected him to jump up and hit George. I was terrified that George might be satisfied only by a fistfight.

Paul McCartney: “I wrote ‘Here Today’ about John. It’s just a song saying, you know, ‘If you were here today you’d probably say what I’m doing is a load of crap. But you wouldn’t mean it, cos you like me really, I know.’ It’s one of those ‘Come out from behind your glasses, look at me,’ things. It was a love song, really, not to John but a love song about John, about my relationship with him. I was trying to exorcise the demons in my own head.”

[Conversations with McCartney by Paul Du Noyer]

Yet, miraculously, John stayed calm. There was long silence. Then George returned to the basic them of his anger, but I could see the worse moment had passed.

Finally, well after midnight, it all wound down. John and I were bone weary, and we took a suite right there at the Plaza.

When we were alone John told me, “I saw George goin’ through pain and I know what pain is about. So I let him do it. I’ll go out and help him or whatever it is he wants me to do. If he wants me to go out on stage, I will.”

—Loving John, May Pang

[Inspired by this post]