#what a nice and even year number
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Summary of Art 2024
it's that time again. somehow. the year is about to change so I've gathered my most popular posts by notes (likes, reblogs, or replies, counted at the time of posting this summary) from each month and threw them on here enjoy

January - 131
February* - 145 (*redraw of someone else's thing for a challenge, multiple versions)
March* - 40 (*redraw of someone else's thing for a challenge)
April* - 77 (*redraw of someone else's thing for a challenge)
May* - 39 (*fic art)
June - 36
July - 127
August* - 67 (*comic)
September - 56
October* - 38 (*comic kinda)
November* - 72 (*comic)
December* - 54 (*comic kinda)
so yeah that's a thing, I'm sure my 96 followers' heads are exploding rn. mostly because I think like half of those are probably bots
(12/31/24)
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a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
#i realised too late that it has been more than a fuking year (august 9)#and for context: ive had 3 different intagram art accounts and i deleted all 3 of them a few months before creating them. anxiety amiright#here it has been so different bc people are so nice??? it has been a pretty plesant experience here w all of u really#im so glad to have found myself in such a wonderful part of the fandom and amazing mutuals that i never talk to bc im shit w texting#the atention has been overwhelming ngl. i have over 2000 followers which. holy fuck???#it doesnt feel like a real number and for my own sake im nnot gonna treat it as one#like i apreciate the support and ppl liking what i do but im not here to make number go big yk? im here to connect w other humans#and yall have been amazing humans ^^ thank u for all the wonderful tags and comments and the support overall#it has been so cool sharing my art and finding other artist whom i respect oh so very much. some of them even follow me back wtf#i hope to continue being here for as long as i can and keep growing as an artist and sharing that process with other without fear#also my amy redesign actually goes so hard idk why i forgot about it nxnfbcncb#sth#sonic fanart#sonic#amy rose#nov.aart#nov.junk
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looking back at the first days of the full-scale invasion on ukraine, I feel just a little baffled at my blithe confidence that everything would turn out fine within a week, and anyway we're not in danger... because it kind of wasn't true. putin certainly imagined ukraine would surrender immediately and if they did, it's anyone's guess where they would have stopped. but — there were military planes all over the sky, at the very beginning, and my classmates would grow tense and fear it might be russia, and I would go "don't be silly, it's nato reconnaissance". and I was right in that it certainly wouldn't start with bombings in the middle of the day, not this time either — but I was so sure our safety extended all the way... and it's strange now. of course, in the end I was right, and I just missed a few days of unnecessary anxiety, but...
and there were police vehicles stationed on every road too, in warsaw, friday the 25th. I still don't know why, what they were preparing for.
#and thursday there were birds in the sky in incredible numbers. I thought — even then I knew irrationally — that they were from the east#idk... somehow that first week might be among the periods in my life I remember most vividly of all#the weather the birds the tension the songs I was listening to in the car (coincidentally they were ukrainian; I thought they were georgian)#the topics of conversation the news the jokes about poor russian supply lines my father telling me what happened at breakfast#I went to confession that day and the next I was at the therapist's and as I went home I remember noticing how red the sky was#it feels awful to say I miss these days sometimes — though all in all the situation is no *better* now — not yet at least#— but I miss the... nation-wide and... trans-slavic so to say solidarity of those few weeks.#all the quarells burst back in force soon later. but for a moment community existed.#I stills don't know why all the Ukrainian flags disappeared after a year. for a while they were beside all the Polish ones#and it didn't *do* anything but it was a nice touch#//#navel gazing — surely#but I thought it's better to put it to paper while... while I don't know. but the time won't be more right I think.#3 years. I thought so recently the newspapers proclaimed one.#therese rambles
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Good mornings ,,
Fireafy doodle for me to cope ,,, (also TPOT 15 spoilers in the tags so we woo we woo we woo !!!!!! )

#being a fireafy shipper is the worst fate I could ever give to someone#jacknjellify HATE ME#ME SPECIFCALLY /silly#they literally fought for 6-7 YEARS …#over a ferris wheel ….#A FERRIS WHEEL…#AND YOU TELL ME.#LTTLE OL ME#THAT FIREY WOULDVE JUST LET HER IN FROM A NOISE OUTSIDE???#IT WAS THAT EASY TO CHANGE HIS MIND????#WHAT IF I EXPLODE.#but that moment is also so VITAL to the rest of the timeline that it literally breaks down good god#.. they can’t even be happy rn EITHER#I wait 6 years#with leafy going through it and them fighting#the worst communicating duo in the world btw#and they FINALLY MAKE UP AND HAVE A SWEET LIL BOAT TRIP#I WAS SO HAPPY#they were so nice and sweet and gibing on their nice little island#but no firey and leafy never get a break that’d break some cardinal rule within the scriptures of course !!!#one I hate you#I truly do please go be all mysterious and blue#SOMEWHERE ELSE ….#I’m closing my eyes and going lalalalala at firey and leafy being separated i can’t handle anymore#they’re happy and building their own dream island#with no stupid numbers in the way go AWAY ONE#sorry not Lego related I’m just mad …#also reveal I’m a fireafy shipper I suppose I’ve been here ever since Bfdi hbshdb#please let these two have a happy ending WITH NO TRICKS LATER#I’ve invested too much time I need them to be happy and smiling and yippe yay yiopoeee
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Gomzzzzz hello!!! I’ve been lurking in your blog for like, over a year now and I just wanted to say, your art is so freaking amazing and cute....the big cheeks!! I’ve always struggled with confidence in my own work, to the point where sharing anything felt almost impossible (stare at my stuff for hours only to delete them) But seeing you do your thing? I decided to try posting too. Okay it took a while but when I did I was fully expecting it to get like… 2 likes, max. But then YOU reblogged it, and my phone basically exploded. I’m not even kidding—my notifications were wild, and for the first time, I actually felt proud of something I made. It might sound silly and you probably don't know which art of mine you reblog but it really hyped me up and frankly...i found back the feel to draw again. I can't thank you enough for doing what you do, for making cod space a better and nicer place (your reblogs on others are always soooo positive and top tier)
Anyway, I’m keeping myself anonymous because, uhhh, social anxiety vibes and don’t want to overwhelm you;w; but I hope you know how much you’ve impacted people like me just by being yourself. I’m wishing you the absolute best for 2025!! zapping you with my beams to give you braincells for your school stuff
you deserve all the good things fr
-🦈
🥹
CryING iN THE CLUB— (my room)
Shark anon, thank you for the sweetest words, I really needed this today…and I’m so proud of you for finding back the love to draw again. I hope 2025 will be a blast for you too man!! Remember to take rest and have a good year ahead
#im trying to guess who you are…#theres a few people in my head but I really cant be sure…i did text one of them to check but its unlikely#i feel like you’re right tho if u didnt remain anon i would’ve panic#LMAO#i know its weird and like hard to really like what you draw i feel ya#idk about me making the fandom space nicer im just being chaotic af tho NDJSJDJSJS BUT THANK YOU 😭#this year I’ve been digging thru the tags and trying to find more creators around and share it to everyone#give the lil boost cuz they can do so much#i started from zero its time i give some of those numbers to everyone else#bee is this u (bcuz of the face) if its u im smothering u with love gdi#urhhjjjhghhhh (rubs my face + deep breath) ok i think im good#(breathes out) nope im crying again (SOBS LOUDLY)#its the stress hsing this opportunity to release itself#ok but this is genuinely so nice of you i really cant#even word it properly without JFJSJDJS WITHOUT SCREAMING EEEEEHHHRGGGH#im gonna exPLODE#LOVE LETTER FOR ME BASICALLY#you guys are too nice 😭💛#boop#naur man this needs to be added to my pin post or somewhere so i can reread it#ask response#thanks for the ask <3#gomz having a melt down#sorry btw if this response is short my brain is still full of uni stuff i HRGH#didnt wanna make u wait either#<3#just know i’ll be thinkinf about this forever#njjrjjjnnnn *gomz melts*
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Also: THEY FIXED MY FOLLOWER COUNT
#idk what they did or if it was even on purpose!#i did file a ticket ages ago and I was sooooo thorough I know what I'm doing smh#they said it would take a while and I don't think I've heard back since#my best friend was convinced they would never do it (my best friend works in software testing 😭😭)#it's kind of funny I've gained like 100 followers since my follower count first got messed up#but it's nice to have the right number now#the too big number was honestly a little nerve wracking#this isn't the most followers I've ever had on a tumblr blog but it's for sure the most I've felt like were actually there#like one of the things about having ~100 followers last year is most of my current followers are active#and ppl engage with my posts#not all of them. but a lot of them. and there are people I recognize and people who recognize me and etc it just feels way more communal#lou is loud
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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When did the latest 1,000 of you follow me??? good lord hi and welcome, I should maybe pay attention to my notifications and activity page more 😭
#I’m not sure if you showed up about fanfiction or from one of my brief hyperfixations or from the cult post or from Star Trek or batfam#but hi welcome hello!#it’s just this! it’s just this. all the time. I bounce interests and recycle old ones#and share way too much personal life on this blog#especially in post tags#and i really love talking with people but most of the time my brain treats messages and asks and emails and texts#as if they are a deadly danger#so I WILL take up to 7 years to respond#but please know it haunts me every day#and I will get to it eventually#even if it’s long after you unfollowed me potentially#anyway. in this house we stan fairness and authenticity and compassion towards both others and self#and we are a pro skepticism and pro sourced-information and pro scientific research around here#AND obsessed with experiencing existence through the realm of story#I hope you enjoy your time here! you can always stick around and I’m happy to see you#but absolutely unfollow me at any time! curate your online experience! it should be good for you#when I or my blog no longer spark joy#please unfollow. I literally do not care. your experience is supposed to be nice for you#take what serves you and leave the rest.#this is just tumblr. you have a whole life#I’ll never be mad#👍#2024#this is a lot of followers. like not five digits a lot but INCOMPREHENSIBLE numbers to ME regardless lol#thanks for following whatever your reason was#personal
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literally just always writing for one singular person. (that person is me btw)
#astro tries to write#im like two full weeks behind on the tcg smp... yet im back writing in the world lol#and no its not the second chapter to the speedy fic.....#its a fic concept that is fun but will probs never get finished. but is fun for wirting lots of little convos and dynamics#plus its for speedy x hmc.....#like if u thought speedy/slack was a niche ship. i can always one up myself#this is lowkey inspired by a speedyatk prompt. but its been morphing into this instead#but also its kinda not abou them at all.#idk. its just fun to write my ppl#writing the kara and jordan section atm. tbh i feel like im doign a fairly decent job#which i have no idea of knowing if thats true. but it feels nice neotheless#they have a rly easy dynamci to fall back into and i should def write more for them.#(platonic obv. i mean no judgement if u ship them. but i very much dont lol)#anyways. sdfghjk#the other two fics that im kinda working on atm are rpf. so also small audiences. one is gemtho (with a side of transfem etho)#i cannot get her voice right but i keep having good vibes for it. so it might end up being something at least#maybe just a vignette-y thing.#and then also some smosh rpf. for teh last year or two i go through weeks where i get obsessed#and then i go back to not giving a shit#im back to not givig a shit rn. but i was Just in a watch everything phase and a brain bubble did come to my mind#and my other smosh rpf fic while not many comments. did get a number of kudos that made me pleased#but this oen would be at least three scenes. so it probs wont happen#but its stil another little fic project for the enjoyment of me. bc its fkn shayne/trevor. who gives a shit about /that/#literally trevor is my most embarrassing youtube/celebrity crush. hes so basic. but hes in my brain and like dick ig#ppl who read all the way down in these rambly posts. do u end up being annoyed that u did? or like u see into the real bits of me#or idek.#i do want to start properly jounraling again. but until i do. these posts are good to do. it keeps a record of shit im thinking about#and/or doing. and tbh are more fun ad honets than when i do journal#i always feel liek i need to like put my mood down. and what i did irl and such#and often taht stuff is depressing. and then when i look back on it idk what hyperfixation i was even in at that time lmfao
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so ive been to london for the (kindof) very first time as a conscious human being and man it is like. i can’t articulate all the feelings ive been having but its making me REALLY emo because Wow heres a city that seemingly works!
#🦆#like ive traveled to a fair share of places#all of them europe so. its just. jesus#i get why my father as a sad kid living in a communist country would spend literally months on end there working shit jobs#ive been spoonfed the english language basically since i was a toddler and putting it to use was fun#and how is the architecture not fuckign. cube and graffiti type Penis#im not kidding ive learned more on this 4 day trip abt art than#during 4 years in highschool#WHATEVER im so MAD because the reason it’s allowed to prosper is 99% colonialism and it makes me want to rip my skin off because HOW is this#city so. everything. ive never been to nyc but is this how it feels? like the world is so small and so large at the same time#they can just do everything there. make all kinds of shit possible. create functional public transport#especially re: warsaw its soooo fucking funny but also not like its made me feel even worse for her#or maybe like. even more frustrated#because wow we are like so ass#eye twitching. how can you just fucking not utilize the river that YOU ARE PROGRAMMED TO LIVE IN PROXIMITY OF#and its so fucking ugly guyssssss i know we can jerk off to soviet blocks all we want but its a copeeeee its such a fucking cope#like come on how is it possible for random ass town from the prussian partition number 73638468 to STILL be prettier than the fucking#CAPITAL.#how after all these years this city is still a corpse that people just pile the most vomit inducing urban architecture#upon#we cant have anythingggggggg if you want to ser pre war architecture in warsaw you can maybe admire a beautiful modernist cube with shrapnel#holes the size of your fists#everything else that has been reduced to gravel in ww2 is currently making up a very nice park in a different part of town#and whats even the point of building something else if were just gonna get bombed again but this time crazy TWIST its the russians and#another reset for wwa#i’ll probably delete this in the morning srry just had to indulge in a bit of doomerism on a friday evening
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I wasn't expecting you to show up again in my notification after what's been like years, just wanted you to know that you were the only one who understood what I was trying to draw in my undertale/deltarune illustrations.
I felt very alone in the fandom and I was mostly ostracized by it due to my differing interpretations, it was just nice to have someone understand what you were drawing.
That's all lol
I can't believe my eyes, but it's really you, the artist of those unforgettably unique fanarts, in my inbox T o T Thank you for sharing your art and this message with me, I'm glad I could give back what your fanarts gave me back then and to this year still – a sense of being understood. I'm happy you posted them~
Oh I can easily see why your representations of Sans and (to use just one expression) the Player and their avatars would be hard to grasp for the majority (also "darker" art isn't everyone's cup of tea – even I engage only partially with it, and like only tasteful stuff), but know that I and surely others like me silently keep those haunting fanarts in our memory, perhaps for years and years.
To me, personally, that series of fanarts is as beautiful as it is eerie and uncomfortable – not in the negative sense, but in the sense of reminding me of the perversity of the bond between Sans as a character and a Player who, let's say, "fell in love" with him during or after his fight. Mine was such a case, and I really gave it a lot of thought as it happened too, as I alluded to in the tag storm I added to this beautiful piece of yours. I could have stayed a normal Mettaton fan lmao but noooo, the angst, the ANGST! Only video games can immerse us in such a way that this kind of narrative and emotional experience is possible. Like acting out your own version of a desperate Yoko Taro romantic plotline where for peak allegorical reasons murdering each other is repeatedly involved, but there is a laughably small yet very real chance a happy ending is possible gfdgdksfjgn
As I searched through my old reblogs, I noticed I didn't add a similar tag storm to the piece that I love equally as much as the one I linked, namely this one. Very fittingly you didn't even tag any of the "avatars" in that one. I simply can't forget it. It is full of meaning, it has subtlety and darkness, uneasiness... and for me, an image of the fatality of this bond, surely "a kind" of love, undeniably profound, and permanent, and deep down, at the core, the origin, rotten. And still, Sans looks so beautiful there, so at peace, just so, so beautiful... How? He's wonderful, he's the only constant. Or is he? And so we arrive at my reblogs from today, and what I personally anticipate most in the next Deltarune chapters (if it will be at all addressed; I know I'll be able to enjoy the new content either way, but if it's addressed that would be like... wow, my reaction would certainly be huge). This is obviously just how I think about these, and no two perceptions can be completely identical, but I'm happy to give this latter fanart the words I always wanted to say since back then when I first saw it. Again, thanks for sharing them back then. Fandoms and interests come and go, but some characters, ideas and impressions stay with us, like in this case. Wishing you best of luck out there~!
P.S.: I might spontaneously reblog your UTDR fanarts again someday, so don't worry if I show up in your notifs again out of the blue > o <
#Lav answers#mamaito#I feel astonished to receive this message#across these last 10 or so years a certain number of artists remained in my memory with certain fanarts#and yours was such a case#their number is actually very small - i cherish what they shared (i love ART) - even as many deactivated their accounts long ago#it is actually heartwarming to me... it seems me sharing my sincere thoughts in my tag storms ended up as catalysts for conversation#they reached back and so did you now - this virtual side of our life is incredible sometimes#what a nice exchange of replies
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Sooo new interest might have escalated quickly.
I entirely blame the Random Encounters Phasmophobia musical.
#not a reblog#like i was already going back to mangled a lot bc fun evil persona#but then you give me nice singing smug insidious evil and my brain goes like 👀#i have listened to this song an unhealthy number of times since first hearing it yesterday#can't wait for spotify to call me out on it at the end of the year#also listening to this with headphones??? the last line is gcjjcgtdhgjdgcj#it's like evil asmr and i am here for it#anyways hi i'm totally normal as always and liking new things a normal amount#...also you don't even /see/ nate in the video itself but this is what my brain has latched onto#nwtb
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Spotify wrapped is FINALLY HERE
#spotify#spotify wrapped#wrapped 2024#not sure I agree with my October listening phase#what even is pink Pilates princess strut pop#it’s a lot of words#and not ones I’d give myself#but whatever#Taylor in my number one just like last year#so nice to see one direction in my top five again#my work playlist def influenced my wrapped though because why is ho hey my number one song#I don’t even remember listening to it like. At all??
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i don't make resolutions, but if i did
it would be to finish this fic
(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)
#i'm finishing it if it kills me#i know i've been writing this makeout scene for 3 weeks but baby that can't last forever#if we want to get deep and dark and serious for a second i do think a lot of my struggles to write lately have to do with engagement#and how incredibly low engagement has been on the last few things i've written#which like. is what it is. i'm not entitled to anybody's time or comments or kudos.#but when you write stuff you're proud of and it feels like it's barely getting read it's hard to keep momentum.#this isn't intended as a woe is me or whatever it's just kind of like. there. hovering.#happens enough times you start to wonder if it's you. am i just writing for the wrong fandom/ship?#(too bad if so. they're in my bones i'm writing for them and no one can stop me.)#but yeah. if you ever wonder if authors do care or notice about hits. comments. kudos. buddy i am here to tell you#not only do we care and FLOURISH we also notice when those things drop off and readers vanish#and it is a giant bummer. and sometimes makes us wildly paranoid about why that might have happened.#so if you liked a fic today--not even one of mine. just. anybody's. share it. comment on it.#kudos at the VERY least (cuz frankly kudos is there to be an 'i got to the end and this was nice' feature.#so when you get 500 hits and only like 30 kudos? it feels like 470 of those people hated your work)#anyway. that got out of hand. lil' too raw lil' too honest. happens when you let yourself ramble at 11:30 instead of sleeping#to sum: let your local fic writer know if they've made you happy#and as we go into 2024 i am swearing to myself that this fic (and probably several others) are getting finished#come hell. high water. or dishearteningly low engagement numbers.#(and then maybe we...actually work on something original. cuz why not. new year same old me but i'll do my best.)
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Where else am I gonna rant if not to a group of random strangers that barely know me, right? So ofc I'm gonna rant here cuz these people have no idea who tf I am.
....turns out I have no words to explain how I'm feeling right now so I offer this emoji instead: 😔
#so i went to this 18th birthday aka debut of my friend and tbh its the first debut ive ever been to and i was rly looking forward to it#plan was to enjoy with my friends and all and i was also planning to get some ideas for my own debut whoch is two weeks after hers#tbh my debut is the bday that ive been looking forward to for basically my whole life cuz the other important ages i did absolutely nothing#for my first bday i was literally in the hospital so nothing there. in my seventh bday i cant even remember what happened. we went swimming?#so the 18th is what i always dreamt of. ive already told my moms this a couple hundred times and ive already thought out how i want it to go#then at the party i observed everything and i realized a lot of things. firstly that shit is expensive. while we used to have the money#no we dont and thats all just in the past now. second thing which i find the most disturbing is the amount of people#the debutante invites the special people in their life and while yes i do have those i dont think they can even reach the proper number#and also i rly cant see myself in that position yknow? being the center of atteaction with people telling you nice stuff abt how they like u#so thats made me quite sad that the bday ive always wanted is never gonna be mine. my biggest TOTGA...#at this point i just wanna spend my whole 18th wallowing in self pity and sadness. while i know my friends love me i dont rly think they#love me to the point of throwing me a lil party of our own like we did earlier this year to ine of our friends. im the spare friend i guess#and plus when i got home my paretns arent even talking to me or looking my way if not scolding me or getting mad at me#well IM SORRY i also didnt want to get stuck in the fckin road for A WHOLE HOUR while waiting for a ride home#and IM SORRY that im just wearing jeans to a debut. this is my frist fucking time going to a debut so how tf would i know???#plus a lot of people were just wearing casual so wtf 😒#all in all im sad and i want to go die
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i’ve done these before and have even been professionally tested in the lab on em (i’m not joking) (<- years ago) these are from a few weeks ago but i wanna do em again now




if you’re bored or interested or want something to do… do you guys wanna take these and tell me what you got? this is ok to reblog and it won’t make me feel bad if you did better than i did :)
#they did my iq but i don’t like to entertain such a thing#…i bet i’ve lost points in the 5-6yrs since we did it#the number’s not very good to start with lemme tell ya#this wasn’t even part of my autism diagnosis i have something wrong neurologically but they can’t pin down what#most recently i had a blanket ‘neurodevelopmental disorder’ slapped like last year i think. the doc i saw was very nice (makes a change)#but he admitted he didn’t know what’s up. my eye tests don’t show anything unusual physically to make me not process fast moving things#all this oversharing of my medical anomaly status is just to say why i’m bad at games. and everything.#*presented neutrally- i try not to put myself down about it anymore :) - these r just the facts*
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