#what a beautiful little ephemeral curiosity

[bonezaw]

A gorgeous house that is no longer there.

[gangplanksorenji]

Kinknuary Day 18: Voyeurism

Pairing: Kang Hyewon, Kwon Eunbi x Male Reader

Word Count: 8,725

[Kinknuary Masterlist]

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“Is she even near, Eunbi-ah?”

Eunbi faintly winces and clicks her tongue, “Come on, just be patient, babe—she’ll be here soon, don’t worry.”

Her small attempts of reassurance even ignites your anxiety because you are a man who doesn’t get his time wasted, not even a second for nothing—two beliefs: time is gold and that your patience is as thin as paper—yet gladly, Eunbi’s reassuring tone and her practice of making your patient subdue such ephemeral advances and that alone, makes you appreciate her even more.

Apart from her being such an absolute gem and often you describe as the epitome of perfection, you can see how heart stands out amongst the rest—even though her physical features made you fall in love with her, it’s her personality that made you fully commit onto loving her and that’s the wonder of Kwon Eunbi.

You won't find a girl like her that can treat you like you’ve always wanted: full of love, compassion and intimacy—yes, and you won’t dare to find one because your heart is only shouting her and her only.

“Oh, Hyewon-ie’s gonna be here! Hurry, I want you to meet her, babe!” Of course, Eunbi is going to introduce you to anyone she becomes acquainted with, as she wants you to be more socially in contact with people. You’re not surprised with this, not even a single bit—you appreciate her advances towards you as she only aims to be the better version of yourself, and with that, you’re madly grateful for meeting a girl like her.

“H-Hyewon? I haven’t heard that name coming out of your mouth, Eunbi.”

Eunbi chuckles, as she flashed a contagious grin, emanating her optimism, “Yah—I mentioned for quite some time now, she’s a great friend from my college days.” She sighs heavily as her eyes probably glisten because of reminiscing her past days with her, knowing how much it probably means to her. “Glad we’re still able to keep in touch, whether it’s online or personal…”

You slowly nodded as you’re invested with her small introduction, and then thought of a lovely banter towards her. “You have so many friends, Eunbi—wonder how many more I haven’t met or maybe—” You chuckle from what you’re formulating, making Eunbi pique her curiosity as you continue, “—you’re even friends with some celebrities at this point.”

“Yah! Can’t blame myself for having a lot of contacts.” Eunbi brushes her hair off her shoulders, fixing herself as she continues, “Besides, you’ll like her—she’s shy and sweet, pretty much you, but a girl version. Also, don’t be intimidated by her look. She may look strict but that’s just how her stare is.”

Those piques your interest towards Hyewon because of her relativity towards your personality according to hers—maybe she’s a little overexaggerated but no blatant and evident lie can past and be utter on Eunbi’s own lips—that’s how angelic she is, but only if you knew what lies within…

Eunbi holds your wrists as she enthusiastically drags you towards the coffee shop that she always loves to visit and has a drink to calm her mind with. You could feel yourself smiling uncontrollably on how eager Eunbi is when it comes to introducing Hyewon to you, and with that reassurance, you’re getting yourself onto the brink of excitement, fully-invested into meeting her.

Yet, you always say this yourself and swear until the end of time: no matter how beautiful and captivating they can be, you’ll always lay your eyes and your whole love towards Eunbi and her only, no matter what happens.

This will be an interesting one and little did you know, your expectation will be surpassed by your desires and mostly, Eunbi’s.

---

“H-Hi…”

“Hello, you must be Hyewon?” You continued the awkward meeting between the both of you, as you can feel how shy she is and most likely, seeing yourself in her and because of Eunbi’s excellent practice with you, you managed to initiate the better blow as you can feel herself getting comfortable. 

“Yes… Y-You must be Eunbi-unnie’s boyfriend, oppa?”

“Uhm…” You fix your composure as you meet your eyes towards hers, making her more assured and interested towards you. “Y-Yeah, Hyewon… Also, how did you know?”

Hyewon just laughed a little, covering her mouth with her hands and fixing her hair, her captivating mannerisms finally making you like her as you find it presentable and attractive. “Well, Eunbi-unnie talked about you for quite s-some time, that’s why I knew you, oppa, hihi…”

Now being enlightened, you nodded with her explanation as the both of you further conversed with each other, talking about little topics as you wait for Eunbi on the counter, ordering some coffee and with more time left to wait, the anticipated drinks are now finally within both your grasps as Eunbi happily introduces Hyewon to you.

“I’m sure the both of you have talked to each other, already, since we’ve got here.” Eunbi optimistically approached the both of you while distributing your respective drinks as you thanked her, appreciating how she did it herself even though you insisted on ordering it—maybe Eunbi wanted you to really talk with Hyewon, and introduce yourself to her in your own way without her influence. “See, babe, Hyewon’s just chill—I knew you’d like her.”

You scoffed as you do agree with Eunbi—your first impression with Hyewon is that she’s mostly introverted and calm, her demeanor most likely intimidating but nonetheless, she’s composed and a little sophisticated, on your own observation. As few more laughs ensued as well as interesting topics that spice up such hooking conversations, you then asked on the most polite manner, on why did Eunbi bring you and Hyewon here and as per Hyewon’s side, is it really appropriate for her to really barge in between the both of you? Isn’t she getting jealous?

Well, Eunbi insisted herself to introduce Hyewon to you so why would she be jealous in the first place? You may doubt that there is a complete absence of jealousy that she can feel—maybe a hint of it, but nonetheless, she isn’t really that sensitive of a girl as she knows how well your boundaries are and how much you love her than anybody else.

“Well, about that…” Eunbi sips on her straw with a nice amount of such sweet concoction of coffee and cream, then continues her response. “Hyewon actually wanted to say something to you, babe so, I hope you don’t mind being on what she’s going to say.”

Hyewon then faces Eunbi as they met eyes, glaring at her as that’s not what she wanted, for now—Hyewon wanted Eunbi to direct her proposition towards you, since Eunbi’s connection to you is eternal and unbreakable, so to Hyewon’s surprise, she didn’t expect Eunbi to really change her mind as it’s too late to retaliate, and all Hyewon could do is speak as your all ears on her.

“But why me?” Hyewon whispers on Eunbi as she encourages her to just say it directly towards you, knowing she wouldn’t lose anything and you, wouldn’t mind anything she will share for you even though you’ve met her just today—it’s maybe the utter reassurance of Eunbi and your comfort towards her and yes, you like her, too.

Of course, you swore until the day you die, that you’ll love Eunbi and she’s the only woman you’ll be with but Hyewon, she’s a different breed in your own opinion—her pretty face is really what got you, brushing off that intimidating demeanor earlier as her impeccable features are pretty similar on what made you love Eunbi even more: sharp nose, oval face, porcelain skin and of course, those, plump lips.

Having the courage built up upon herself, Hyewon composed herself and made it so that you won’t feel any discomfort for her—maybe, thanking Eunbi too for her reassurance to build up such an incredible courage that led up to this moment. “I w-want to feel you, oppa…”

With a sudden embarrassment, Hyewon suddenly covered her face with her hands as she faced against you, sipping her coffee to calm her down as Eunbi scoffed a little, finding Hyewon’s attempts cute yet on the verge of ineffectiveness. Of course, you were baffled on what Hyewon had said towards you as it could mean a lot of things but being enlightened will be better, and Eunbi will do a great job with that because you trust her with all your heart.

“Ahh, babe—I haven’t really talked to you about this, I’m sorry—” Eunbi took another sip, before holding her hands to you, reassuring you that everything’s fine and nothing’s going off-track. “—but aside from introducing her, Hyewon wanted to take this opportunity to—” Eunbi looks left and right, wanting nobody to hear such sinful words except for the both of you and Hyewon as she continues, “—experience such great sex, and I know you’re a great one, babe. So, if you would want to do it with Hyewon, then it’s going to be fine.”

Well, that was all of sudden and you were caught off-guard with it. You know how Eunbi is open when it comes to talking about sexual desires and her wants but you never thought that it would lead to this moment, wanting to have sex with her friend that you barely knew anything about. Such lustful activities with Eunbi isn’t novel between the both of you—that explains how much you’ve railed her tight cunt a week ago that she couldn’t walk a day after and dumped a healthy load down her throat on a restaurant’s restroom three days ago.

Again, you’re not new to this but just in utter shock at how things immediately unfold at the speed of light and knowing how you can see the eagerness in Hyewon’s eyes, you wouldn’t dare to say know but you need further time to discuss things thoroughly. So, excusing Hyewon with Eunbi in the nicest way possible, you then hold Eunbi’s wrist and drag her to the nearest restroom possible, wanting to talk this out as you can’t possibly comprehend what’s happening right now.

---

“You talked about this with Hyewon a long time ago, did you? Is this on purpose?” Your tone is sharp, wanting to question her real actions towards you as you're too flabbergasted to comprehend anything and with Eunbi’s side, she just wants to help her friend on her needs to, and that’s what she needs to explain all thoroughly to you.

“No, babe—I mean, y-yes, she did point it out but I insisted on you being that man for her, she never suggested you but with my assurance, she agreed. I’m sorry if I didn’t talk about this towards you, babe…” Eunbi lets out a sigh of relief as she feels guilty for not letting you know about this first yet your heart crumbles seeing her anxious like this—she’s your kryptonite and can’t bear to see her being on her lowest or in her possible sadness because it breaks your heart into pieces.

“I mean, Eunbi—this is just crazy, no?” Your flummoxed state didn’t help in any of your decisions to come up to a final conclusion. You just shake your head, and licked your lips, thinking of the possible decision to agree with what she offered as Eunbi reassures you right after.

“Yeah, this is crazy babe but are you willing to? It’s alright for Hyewon if you don’t want—” You the interrupt her with a snap of your fingers as she shuts her mouth, now concluding something after a well-observed round of judgment.

“I’ll say it to Hyewon herself, alright, Eunbi?”

She didn’t hesitate to nod as you came up with the right term: to say it in front of her—even though she’ll be pleased or saddened with your rejection, then it’s probably going to be better to say off what you wanted in front of her and without any time to waste, you and Eunbi got out of the restroom—of course, not in a suspicious manner since you know what people’s mind can think of these days—and came up with the final conclusion.

---

“So, maybe…” You let out a deep sigh as you looked at Eunbi, and then averted towards Hyewon again, smiling as she felt assured with your faint grin. “We can do it, as long you’re comfortable with it, of course.” 

Your subtle reassurance makes her smile as she can’t believe that you’ll agree with her, as you just wanted to help Hyewon even though you barely knew her, and that is mostly thanks to Eunbi. Not so long after, she interrupts too as she doubles the efforts on making Hyewon trust you as Eunbi herself pretty much involves her trust towards you when having such a loving, steamy session.

“It’s alright, Hyewon—my baby’s a great person to have fun with and she can take care of you as much as he always does to me, so, don’t be scared and trust him, okay?” Hyewon nods with a faint smile curling her lips, then saying an almost-inaudible “thank you” before you can interrupt again and strengthen Eunbi’s assuring remarks. “Yeah, don’t worry, Hyewon—I’ll stop if you want to, okay? As much as proceeding, okay?”

Your brain still can’t help to comprehend such an incredible confession about Hyewon that mostly was helped by Eunbi—you knew something’s fishy right from the start but if a lovely woman of the girl of your life wants something to be fulfilled, then you’ll gladly help her out as this is just the beginning of what could be an insane session and with your coffee’s almost halfway through and wanting to end the day with a paramount of a bliss, then you would likely oblige to your wants as you invited them to go over Eunbi’s place and god, what can they have in store for this evening…

---

Hyewon’s coyness probably tends to allure you and captivate you, yet she fails to fully let you fall under her spell—not to disparage or brush off her natural captivating demeanor by that but it’s just the fact that you’re mostly investing your love towards Eunbi, but maybe, you can be enlightened if Hyewon pulled a great trick up her sleeve.

“Oh, you have such a great place, unnie—woah, this looks better than where I reside, gosh.” Hyewon’s in awe as her eyes wander around the spacious place, starstrucked on how simple yet glamorous this place is in her eyes.

“Isn’t your place great too, Hyewon? I’m sure it’s as good as this…” Eunbi replies back, feeling optimistic that Hyewon’s maybe just overexaggerating things as it’s probably great as she expected. It’s only expectation between the both of them because they haven’t really got the chance to see each other’s places but now, maybe it’s start of the time where everything going to get back on their original tracks—everything just gets unveiled, one by one, and maybe later, will lead to a bigger revelation.

“I doubt it, unnie. I mean, it’s not that bad but yours is better—”

“Ladies…” You interrupt their small talk with your manly voice, startling them a little. “Are we going to compare each other’s places or set ourselves towards the show, hm?”

Eunbi playfully slaps your stomach, as it did little-to-no-pain but regardless, you jokingly caressed it, playing how painful it is in a sarcastic way. “Don’t mind him, Hyewonnie—sometimes, he’s just getting too horny and impatient.”

“Yah! I’m not like that, Eunbi—you’re mostly the one who begs for dear life.” You bat out against her, knowing how those claims are close to being inaccurate and Eunbi’s enthusiasm taking over her, tending to probably over exaggerate things that she shouldn’t. It doesn’t matter where does it end up as both feeling are mutual—she can turn you on within a flick of her fingers as much as you do towards her, and it’s not even close to exerting effort as the both of you magnetize within each other’s touch, the last things you’ll probably see is her body pressed against yours, her heat emanating how needy she is for you.

“Don’t tell you’re not like that too, babe.” Of course, you wouldn’t act such a hypocrite to deny any of those facts as you gave up battling an argument against her. 

“Okay, okay, Eunbi—I am, so—” You clicked your tongue as your eyes averted towards them, anticipating what they may have in store for the three of you. “—how are we going to start this off?”

Both of their eyes met together, almost feeling like some telekinetic energy surged through the air as they instantly knew what they wanted to do, especially Hyewon. “Well, maybe I need to say everything we have in plan, babe.”

Eunbi looks up as she tiptoes a little, just to whisper into your ear but god, that sultry, seductive voice never fails to turn you on off the roof. It’s one of your weaknesses that could literally make you submissive or in the best way possible, fall into the darkness—the darkness where it’s a void with only yourself succumbing to lust and there’s no way of returning back to the light. Now, with Eunbi leading the way, you whisper to yourself how great this can be as adrenaline is now pumping down your veins, anticipation finally kicking in to you as the night is still young and it’s only going to start.

---

“Has a man done this to you, Hyewon?” Eunbi traces her dainty fingers up Hyewon’s thighs as she faintly whimper due to the sudden sensitivity she has been teasing her, and for not so long too, Eunbi averted her attention towards you, and voiced exactly what Hyewon wants and with foreplay building up, it should start small.

“What is it, Eunbi?”

“Well, can you stand and then lean against that wall, babe? Thanks, and Hyewon, kneel down in front of him.” Eunbi’s commands didn’t go deaf on both your ears and Hyewon’s as you immediately obliged to her imperative advances. Knowing the words that escaped her lips, you knew exactly what Hyewon would want as you reassure her as she still feels shy but you can see the lust behind it, and it’s only going to get better from here.

“I guess you probably know what she’ll do, babe.”

“Hah—of course I do, Hyewon kneeling down here is pretty obvious.” You respond hubristically and with your confidence and willingness about the anticipating turn of events, Hyewon faintly smiles because of the sudden surge of serotonin spiking up, feeling really confident on what she’s about to show you.

“Aren’t you going to join, Eunbi?”

Eunbi clicks her tongue, cock an eyebrow to you as she smirks, “Well, about that, I would like to observe how Hyewon does it. I’d like to give her everything I always loved and Hyewonnie—” She then squatted to become in level with Hyewon, uttering such words that could enhance the possible masterclass that Hyewon will do. “—don’t rush and make my baby feel good, okay? The most important thing here is the both of you getting pleasured and delighted.”

Eunbi’s such an incredible instructor—you mutter upon yourself as it’s always evident whenever she teaches something to someone or even just you. You love how eager and conspicuous her happiness is when it’s for the better of the people she’s attached with—it feels like she’s a gift from heaven, an angel in disguise as she’s too down-on-earth yet you know deep inside those genuine smiles of hers are the primal lust that she’s been consumed onto, and it’s not even an effort knowing it with the refulgent shining of her orns, full of lust and wants.

“You gotta undress his bottom-half first, Hyewon—I guess you know how to do it right.” With Eunbi’s command comes an immediate obligatory response: you can just see Hyewon’s hands working on unbuckling your belt and the buttons of your pants. You can see her hands shaking a little, knowing it’s her nervousness and to ease her up a little, you helped her to undress your defenses one by one yet Eunbi isn’t a fan of this, clicking her tongue and calling you out.

“Babe, let Hyewon do the job, alright? Just relax and enjoy the show.”

With Eunbi’s straight remarks, Hyewon confirms that she can finish her job herself and doesn’t need your help as she also wanted you to just indulge and voice out your satisfaction.

“You sure, Hyewon?”

“Y-Yes, oppa—I can do this…”

Now with your pants on your ankles, Hyewon’s eyes lit up with the erecting shaft that’s been captivating her under those frustrating garments, and to reassure her further, Eunbi gave her words of encouragement, saying it’s all going to be fine.

“I know this is crazy, Hyewon but trust me—he likes it, alright? All you need to do is to show us how great you can be. Consider this as your training.”

Even though Hyewon is not naïve in these kinds of situations, it still shows how nervous and how she lacks experience but nonetheless, you’re confident that she’ll do good yet you won’t get your expectations high—maybe, a little part of you may swallow those words once she latched her mouth on your swollen head but an action preceding your expectations will conclude your judgment.

Now grabbing the hem of your boxers, Hyewon undresses it as it goes down to your ankles and god, she’s eyeing your meat like she’s going to devour it as her eyes glistening with hunger and lust says enough. Her gorgeous, black orbs analyzes every length that she sees as she coos in amazement, genuinely excited on how your length could feel inside and most importantly, how incredible it looks in front of her.

“Oh my god, unnie…” Hyewon slowly palmed your thighs as she’s still flummoxed with your length, unable to articulate anything but just in awe. “He’s so big…”

Eunbi chuckles as she bites her lips right after, worshiping your succulent meat right on her sight with only her eyes. “He’s indeed big, Hyewon. That’s the most perfect cock you’ll ever laid your eyes upon and you’ll see why I’m so addicted to it…”

Giving the green light to Hyewon, she then wrapped her digits around your rod, feeling how its warmth already made you euphoric as she stroked it a little, a faint moan escaping your lips because of it. 

“I’d consider lubricating his shaft with your saliva, Hyewon. You wouldn’t want a man you’re sucking to have a painful burn with rough strokes.” Eunbi suggests towards Hyewon as she’s absolutely right—rough strokes are the bane of your existence as lubrication will make anything feel a hundred times better. With all of that, Hyewon managed to still question something that makes Eunbi a little bit confused.

“But isn’t it not too bad if I stroked it like that, unnie?”

“It’s never bad but the lubrication is still needed, of course. It helps the man and the won’t just excrete fluids on their own. Also—” Eunbi pointed out the slit of your swollen head, leaking with that colorless liquid and with that in sight, she wouldn’t want Hyewon to waste a single drop off that.

“There you go, trace a little of that and taste it. You could suck it if you want more intimacy, Hyewon.”

“Ooh~” Hyewon coos, finding it gratifying tasting one of your treasured nectars as she licks her index finger clean after collecting a desirable amount. 

“How did it taste, Hyewon?” Eunbi’s interest is piqued as Hyewon can’t stop squealing, too focused on admiring your shaft with leisure strokes and playful swipes on your head. 

“A bit salty, unnie—I like it.” Without wasting any time with just collecting and teasing, her lips then part onto your shaft as she planted wet kisses onto every inch of it, not leaving anything blessed with her intimate pecks. She grew impatient due to her hunger for cock, and eventually, she latched her lips onto your swillen cockhead and started sucking it, your sensitivity now off the roof as it’s actually great considering how much pleasurable it was than what you expected. She swirls her tongue to add up to the heat of the moment and god, she’s a natural at this as she alternates between doing that and sucking just the tip, leaving small streams of saliva on your shaft and some on the corners of her mouth. 

With the constant flicks of her tongue onto the frenulum and then going deeper as she gives in to her debauchery masterclass, Hyewon is a gifted woman with a gifted mouth, and she can make you moan like Eunbi can, then it’s just safe to say that she’s incredible at giving you head yet this is only the beginning of a spectacular show that’s about to unfold.

“Such a natural, hm, Hyewon? Why don’t you try and go deeper, hm?” Eunbi fixes her beautifully-tied pigtails, gaining a better leverage onto instructing Hyewon. “He loves it whenever I go deep and hear those moans he makes? That means he’s loving this, so, keep it up…”

Wanting to go deeper herself, she tries what Eunbi wanted her to do as greed took over her, taking your whole length slowly as she bobs her head frantically, eventually gagging on the spot. It’s becoming too much for Hyewon and with that, such a euphoric session has been abruptly stopped, herself ejecting out of your length as she coughs a little, becoming too risky to take it whole and greed putting a nail to the coffin.

“Hyewon, you shouldn’t take his cock like that deep immediately. You should be slow and patient and work your way deeper.” Eunbi caresses Hyewon’s hair as she reassures her and knowing Hyewon wouldn’t give up that easily, she opted to take you in again and following Eunbi’s advice for extreme pleasure and gratification between the both of you. Now, with her patience taking over her, she laps her tongue onto to your tip and took only half of your length in which, resulted into your brain going haywire again due to the pillowy softness of her mouth and the warmth enveloping over it—not to mention the hint of pain cause by the serrated culprit, which is her teeth that lives up to your guilty pleasure of masochism.

She bobs her head at such a moderate pace, unlike the greed earlier that made her suffer from her actions as every second that passes is savored between the both of you, each of your carnal desires slowly corrupting the both of you, descending towards the darkness—that damn darkness akin to the lustful void you’ve dived yourself into. Her hands aren’t idle as she knew the basic fundamentals of a great blowjob: to fondle your balls with care as a little stimulation is enough to make your knees weak and her warm palm sharing its emanating heat within your skin, caressing it slowly as her touch is as tantamount as her mouth giving away the greatest gratification possible. Eunbi is in awe on how she’s doing an incredible job, slobbering all over your length and slurping on it like she’s been deprived on it for months now—technically, that’s the case and whether it’s figurative or literal, it’s always evident how a girl is hungry for something with the sounds that resonates around your ear.

“God, you look so fucking hot sucking his dick, Hyewonnie. Look at yourself too—” Eunbi averted her eyes towards the mess Hyewon has created all over her clothes, her cleavage and her mouth, such drool capable for any person to think how much Hyewon is enjoying the succulent taste of your shaft as Eunbi was right, Hyewon’s going to be addicted by this for dear life. Eunbi continues to stroke Hyewon’s dark locks as she praises her because of her incredible work and with her confidence going up, she’s now introducing an incredible pace as she hollows her cheeks for a vacuum-like suction, taking more than a half of your length now and frantically bobbing her head, signaling how she’s giving in to primal urges and desires. She slobbered all over your dick like it’s her last, and savored every moment of it, even if it means for her to gag multiple times yet even though she fights the urge to pull out, she inevitably can’t as she ejects her warm mouth out of your raging length, coughing a little as the mess she’s made is now copious than it was earlier—her lipstick smudging onto the vicinity of the base of your shaft, strings of saliva connected onto your swollen head and then her mouth, and her makeup running down her cheeks due to the tears of her constant gags from earlier, making her a disheveled mess. 

“You a-alright, Hyewon?” You grew concerned as she seems struggling to breathe because of her hostile nature on slobbering over your length that oxygen became the profound enemy yet she states that she’s fine, and that makes sigh in relief.

“Oppa’s c-cock is just too b-big to handle…”

Eunbi laughs as she smiles at Hyewon, knowing that she’ll soon say that as it’s damn true—even Eunbi struggles to tame that beast within you, even with plethora of times that she’s taken you down her throat, she still constantly struggles due to the gifted length and girth you have. Of course, not even Hyewon complains but rather, loving it because of how she can manage to push her limits off to what she can possibly do, and you, a great example to help her with that. 

“It’s alright, Hyewon. You’re a natural at this—keep that up and make him cum, alright? I know he’s pretty close…” Eunbi cocks an eyebrow at Hyewon, signaling her to give everything she has as you know you’re near on your release yourself—and it’s pretty impressive how Eunbi knows how near your approaching orgasmic trance will be, considering how your relationship and herself knowing tiny details about you makes up to her accurate prediction. Maybe it’s not even a prediction at this point, more so, a gut feeling and the visible throbbing of your shaft making her know of your near release and god, it’s just awfully close.

Hyewon isn’t just going to stare at your dick like it’s a long-lost artifact she piqued her interest in, yet instead, she converts that arousal into actions as she continues to suck you off, like a popsicle that can’t get enough. With her constant fondling of your sensitive balls and her ruthless pace onto your shaft, you can’t possibly contain the profanities escaping your mouth as you voice how great Hyewon’s oral service is and with those green lights being muttered, she picks up the pace and further brings you in closer to your high. Her feverish strokes onto the base of your shaft further puts you on the edge of release as Eunbi encourages Hyewon to keep up the good work as she bites her lip in satisfaction, feeling gratified with erotic sight of Hyewon gagging and slobbering over his boyfriend’s perfect cock.

“Also, Hyewon, make eye contact with him. That’s important because with your eyes, you can portray multiple emotions all at once.” Such striking details won’t get passed by Eunbi’s judgmental approach towards the eroticism the both of you emanate and again, it’s goddamn true—such an intimate and endearing look between the both of you can indeed portray a plethora of emotions that can rather increase the quality of pleasure. With Eunbi’s advice, Hyewon then locks her gaze onto yours as all you can see is how engaged she is, full of lust as every bob portrays her willingness to do this and your anticipated load.

It wouldn’t last that long even if you want to savor her warmth for hours as suddenly, your dam broke loose.

“Fuck, I’m g-gonna cum, Hyewon, Eunbi—fuck, shit!”

Now with Hyewon still blowing you with a ruthless face, Eunbi formulates an idea faster than the speed of light as her oral expertise comes into play, offering a proposition. “Pull out if you want him to paint your face or keep bobbing if you want his load deep down your throat, okay, Hyewon?”

Hyewon eagerly nods as she keeps sucking you off, signaling that she wants your load as deep as possible. She then submerges her whole mouth onto your length, up to the back of her throat as she gags constantly but Eunbi guides her, her hands pushing Hyewon’s head until her lips meet the base of your shaft, reaching incredible depths that she thought was nigh-impossible. Now, with Hyewon’s hands gripping your thighs onto dear life and her tight throat constricting around your length, you couldn’t hold it much longer as you shoot thick spurt if your delectable seed, filling it up to the brim as she takes it all like a good girl, despite her constant gagging and her breaths being restricted because of your whole length. Eunbi didn’t influence much, as she lets go of her grip on Hyewon’s head as soon as you voice out your blissful release and ultimately, you do short thrusts into her mouth to keep your orgasm extended but the inevitable will soon happen as it slowly dies, catching your breath from your euphoric trance. Hyewon then pulls out immediately as Eunbi directs her to not swallow it yet and commends her excellent blowjob yet of course, Eunbi not utterly impressed (she still appreciates Hyewon’s efforts but not that much) as she didn’t get her expectation up, since Hyewon isn’t really used to this but nonetheless, she showed her great capabilities and her natural talent.

“Don’t swallow and stick your tongue out to him. Show him the healthy load he has given you.” Again, for like the hundredth time, Hyewon does as she's been told, sticking out her tongue towards you as she’s proud about the creamy load you gave her and with her innocent eyes building up the oxymoron of this filthy mess she has gone into. Now, incredibly aroused and in awe with her beautiful, disheveled visage, you then commanded her to swallow as Eunbi didn’t mind it, knowing you have the control over her too and god, her face and its expression after eagerly swallowing your creamy load is such an arousing as you couldn’t ask more.

This was just one of the few things they have up their sleeve and you’re absolutely into the game, wanting more as your carnal desires are the obvious culprits of your horniness. 

“Did it taste good, Hyewon?”

“It d-does, unnie—it’s so creamy and a l-little sweet…” She replies back with a faint smile on her face, still catching her breath due to the intense blowjob session that has ensued.

“Hyewon—I c-can’t believe you’re a natural at this.” Of course, you can’t really comprehend how good she is as you didn’t expect her to be this daring and great and you wouldn’t complain for various and obvious reasons. With your compliment, Hyewon blushed a little as she felt grateful being constantly acknowledged with her skills yet of course, you can see the lust burning on her eyes as she wanted more, and you wouldn’t dare to really stop her on that because you wanted more yourself.

“Well, maybe it’s time for the main event, babe…” Eunbi then stood up from her previous kneeling position as Hyewon does it too right after, knowing what the future may hold once Eunbi said those specific words.

“Are you sure with this, Hyewon?” You still feign hesitance, knowing that it may seem uncomfortable with Hyewon and maybe even Eunbi that you’re going to have some filthy sex with her friend yet all of your thoughts contradicts on what they want—Eunbi insisted you to have her own permission for the best experience for her friend and Hyewon, starting this alone means that she’s comfortable with you and it grew better considering how your small moans of pleasure increased her confidence and your reassurance that made her feel better.

“See, Hyewon wants it, babe—don’t keep her waiting.” Noticing how eager Hyewon had been, she then puts a little bit of a show in front of you, stripping her clothing so leisurely that it’s agonizing to watch considering you want to see her impeccable features badly, as soon as possible. Knowing this, Eunbi has a different thought in mind and decides to step in to the show, interrupting her Hyewon’s spectacular masterclass as you frowned a little because of it.

“No, Hyewon, I think my baby needs to strip for you, how about that?” Being enlightened with Eunbi’s proposition, Hyewon herself can’t really turn that down because that thought alone arouses her, and with her pleading eyes captivating you to do what Eunbi has told, you didn’t hesitate to fulfill everyone’s needs as you came up to Hyewon, inching dangerously close towards her as you palm the straps of her brown, cotton dress and lets gravity do the work, letting it run a little, dropping it below her shoulders. You can feel her hot breath against yours as she voiced her satisfaction with the way you’re stripping her—slowly and surely, unbuttoning her dress one by one as you whisper how good she's been earlier and in return, she voice how juicy and addicting you were.

“I guess you’re so gifted, oppa—your cock is amazing—oh fuck…”

“You’re a natural too, Hyewon. Maybe a few more improvements then you’ll be on par like your unnie.”

With the heated tension between the both of you, Eunbi manages to bat out how incredibly arousing the sight is, sharing how that’s probably the sight between you and Eunbi everytime the both of you get sexually heated against each other.

“That’s how hot we probably look when we get heated, right, babe?”

“Yeah, Eunbi—kinda want to see the sight too but I guess I don’t need it anymore.” Well, it’s evident and obvious because you’re literally in the front seat of a splendid show between you and Hyewon. Now, with the last button restraining her to let her impeccable beauty be visible with your eye, you slowly unbuttoned and god, you’re instantly blessed with her hourglass figure and a scrumptious sight of her tight body: slender, small waist flexing a little of her abdominal muscles, her perky yet large mounds that’s been contained with a brown, strapless bra and her probably dripping pussy covered with a brown-laced thong, that’s complimenting the colors of her outfit. You were starstrucked with her incredible figure as much as Eunbi is, and with that, you can’t help but palm her hips and admire every inch of her delectable features, probably mouth-watering at the sight of it and imprinting a picture on your mind.

“Foreplay is part of having a great session of sex, Hyewon. So, if he caresses and feels her touch all over your body, feel free to voice out how good it is, okay?”

Hyewon nods as you start to strip the last defenses concealing her pure beauty, flicking and letting everything run from her smooth skin and gravity doing the work. With her last bit of clothing now onto the floor, deeming it useless, you take a look to admire her beautiful features again but this time, her apparent nipples and her glistening pussy is now visible, making you even riled up as your cock inevitably twitches from the sight. You then undress your clothing, making everything mutual between the both of you and as you do so, you ask Eunbi another question that will surely intrigue her and make everything even spicier.

“Don’t you want to join us, Eunbi?”

“Yeah, unnie—it would be really good if you join us here with us.‘

As much as Eunbi wants to join, there are two things that are stopping her from her desires and it’s for the better on all parties: firstly, she wanted to instruct Hyewon what’s the best ways to make the session best for both worlds and some techniques that can make her a greater fuck; and second, she badly wanted to watch someone having sex and any sexual activities as that thought (not anymore) turns her on incredibly well that she just wants to watch everything unfolds within her eyes’ reach—talk about peak voyeurism, then its paramount on her mind right now.

“I’d rather watch and make the best of Hyewon, but thanks though—hey, proceed, babe…”

You’re quicker than a predator catching prey, your clothes now off and deeming it useless as you approach Hyewon, pinning her slowly as you grasp her waist and onto the bed. Hyewon trusts you with all her heart as her eyes glistens with need and you immediately can sense how much she wanted this for a long time, so, without depriving her from your touch, you brush your swollen head onto her labia, teasing her as she cries in her own sensitivity and utmost pleasure. Wanting to build up the anticipation and to be gentle with her, you further tease her glistening lips and this time, adding some fingers to stimulate her further, her moans now increasing in volume because of the pleasure coursing down her veins.

“May I, Hyewon?” Your hands then coursed its way onto the bedsheets and then, towards her stomach, as you asked her permission for mutual understanding and agreement. 

“Please d-do, oppa—oh gosh, fu—fuck…” Given the green light, you immediately palmed a handful of her breasts as you fondle them, caressing her mounds and feeling its softness is such an addicting act and with that, you can’t really find yourself to let go of it and continue what you’re best at. Her moans really fuels you to let out your deepest desires, stimulating her further as you latch your mouth onto her neck, giving it small pecks that lets her know how much you’re loving this and of course, to further elevate the heat emanating around the bedroom.

“Let it all out, Hyewon—let your voice be the fuel for him to further fuck you and babe—” Eunbi palms your skin, from the back as she leisurely ran her hands down your buttcheeks, caressing it as her touch further arouses you. She didn’t waste a single second and voice out what’s the best for the both of you. “—give her the fucking she absolutely deserves, alright? Want to see how you’ll ruin an incredibly beautiful girl like her…”

With Eunbi’s green light and the urge to further indulge to your own primal debauchery, you further inform Hyewon that it’s about time for the climax as she doesn't even hesitate to nod and agree and with a single flash of light, you plunge your length slowly inside her. The both of you groaned in the mix of pain and pleasure, as each other’s elements of a great, pleasurable intercourse checks all boxes and it’s just way too euphoric to be true. You now start to ensue such a sluggish pace, moving your hips in tandem with her angelic moans that bless everybody’s ears as you grasp her shoulders for a leverage onto a better quality of your thrusts.

“God—Hyewon, you’re so fucking tight—oh fuck!”

“You’re b-big too, oppa—ahh, oh my—ahh, fuck!!”

As you voice out such intense spikes of pleasure and lustful feeling against each other, Eunbi then voiced how incredible the sight is and how goddamn arousing to watch your length suddenly disappearing inside her wet folds as it hypnotizes her, the slow movements you’re ensuing finally making her realize how hot to watch sex scenes with you are.

“Damn, babe—look at her eyes. She’s starting to see stars at this point, god—also, keep that pace for now babe and Hyewon—” Hyewon then averted her eyes towards Eunbi that just had joined on the bed, feeling too much pleasure and drowsy as Eunbi stroked her hair again, making her feel reassured that she’s taking you well and that alone, makes her plant a smile of satisfaction. “—you’re doing good, okay? Keep that up and it’s only to get better from here.”

She then holds your arms for leverage to fight the pleasure and to further admire the filthy mess that has been created since the time you’ve plunged your entire length in her. The constant jiggles of her buttcheeks and her thighs makes such an arousing sight as it hypnotizes you and to top off with that, her cunt spills her treasured nectar very often that it’s getting much easier to thrust inside her in an incredible pace and of course, to coat the vicinity of your nether regions with Hyewon’s own fluids. With a newly-profound pace, you kept your mind clouded onto giving her such a spectacular feeling as every thrust does wonder on both your brains, mostly Hyewon’s since it has been a while since she had one and god, the faces she makes and the eye contact she does whenever you withdraw, and then slammed back in her is alluring and arousing.

With a paramount of an erotic sight being done thanks for the both of you, Eunbi can’t even help herself from getting turned on and decided to take this as an opportunity to derive pleasure from it. You didn’t even see Eunbi, nor even sense her stripping her clothing as you’re too busy giving Hyewon such hammering thrusts that makes her escape more alluring and sexy moans that just add up to the gasoline of the flames of lust inside you. Because of your rampant oscillations, Hyewon couldn’t contain anything as she’s on the verge of screaming because of the incredible surge of pleasure running down on her. She then wrapped her legs all around your waist in order to lock in with your thrusts and to not pull out, wanting her cunt constantly rammed in with your whole length as the wet squelching of it even adds to the symphony of erotic sounds that became music to each other’s ears. 

With such a sinful sight of event turning into a pandemonium of filthy events and cacophonous sounds of moans and groans, it wouldn’t take long for the room to get heated up onto its hottest state as the constant clashing of bodies became apparent and made such a big difference. You didn’t even got the chance to know if Eunbi is still there on your back, watching the both of you—maybe even her presence alone—as you became so invested with Hyewon’s tight cunt that you could literally fuck her for days.

Well, that could be possible but we don’t know if Eunbi can even agree on that, or maybe even Hyewon herself.

“Fuck m-me harder, oppa—please—fuck!!”

You then double the efforts of your thrusts as her legs pull you even closer towards hers, initiating an intimate kiss that made her realize how she’s been deprived of this and how badly she wanted this. You immediately reciprocate onto the kiss as Eunbi even encourages the both of you to up the ante of the liplock, now sharing such intimacy and torrid pecks that further heats up the environment of this puny room.

“Love how his lips feel, Hyewon?” Eunbi asks with a smirk painting her face and eagerly, Hyewon nodded as it became the immediate response from hers as they completely indulge into the intimacy of the kiss but eventually, they pull out because of the oxygen running out. You didn’t waste time as you came back to your original pace, withdrawing with only the tip inside and then slamming back in, making her whimper in need and the utmost pleasure. You then thrust in her hard enough for your balls to slap against her constantly clenching puckered hole as you eye onto it, wanting that to be the next target as the thought of railing her from behind and fucking her ass is such an arousing though—well, you should probably focus on further onslaught of harsh thrusts into Hyewon’s wet, tight hole begging for another load because of its constant clenches.

You know how close she is as Eunbi can sense it too—her constant whimper in need and her eyes begging to sully her are one of the strongest evidences that someone fully-indulge themselves onto their own carnal desires and soon enough, she will be gifted because you can feel that familiar sensation in your loins knocking onto the door of your damn, about to break it apart and let everything loose again.

“Fuck her harder, baby—she’s about to cum and look at her—fuck, you look so fucking hot getting fucked into oblivion, Hyewon.”

Hyewon can’t really articulate to say anything now as the pleasure she’s been experiencing is on it's all-time high—you couldn’t blame her and neither can Eunbi: herself getting pounded into an absolute state of bliss is an evident reason for her unable to think straight and knowing the inevitable will soon come, you gave her the best final thrusts your hips can muster.

“Oppa—I’m g-gonna c-cum—ahh, fuck!!”

“God—m-me too, Hyewon—fuck, this pussy is—ahh, fuck!”

Eunbi is in utter shock, is surprised with two things—she didn’t think that Hyewon would last this long with an incredible dick of yours and second and this is where she was genuinely surprised, is the fact that you’re going to cum pretty earlier than what she expected. 

Enough of that talk, with a few more thrusts, Hyewon immediately moaned out beautifully as she voices her euphoric high, creaming onto your cock like it’s her last as her thighs quiver in every spasm she does when attaining her orgasm. Her nectar immediately coated everything in its vicinity: the bed sheets, your balls, your constantly-pumping length and both of your thighs and clearly too arousing to handle and it’s such a sight to behold and treasure. Your high, didn’t come late as she locks her legs around your waist, wanting you to fill her up to the hilt as you do so, burying your entire length in her as you let out series of pleasure-laced moans and of course, shooting thick shots of your seed inside her tight, velvety cunt. You could just feel yourself submerging onto the euphoric state of bliss, the highest amongst all gratification as you can’t comprehend how good it felt and after it slowly died, you slowly pulled out of her tightness and watch your hard work seep out of her freshly-fucked pussy.

“God—t-that was a lot, babe…”

After comprehending the sudden pleasure you just indulge yourself into, you then quickly come back to your senses as when you’re going to apologize, Hyewon interrupts you with a reassuring smile as she wanted this all along.

“Don’t w-worry, oppa—I wanted this and I took a pill before t-this.”

So, she knew this may work long ago? Why did Eunbi get to make it clandestine against you?—These thoughts wander around your brain yet dismiss them as soon as you see how a show-stopper Hyewon’s sight is: completely ruined, a disheveled mess and enervated because of your own doings. Knowing how great Hyewon took you in, Eunbi smiled at her proudly, happy for her to experience such an elevating act that’s more than greatness thanks to you.

“It feels good right, Hyewon?”

“Yeah, u-unnie—hah, oppa’s so good…” Hyewon exasperatedly voiced out how great the session was as she fell limp, recovering from her recent high all achieved thanks to you. Eunbi then smiled at you with glee because of what you gave her friend for and she’s happy that everybody’s needs has been fulfilled yet of course, Eunbi herself wouldn’t just be the audience of your own show, she would like to be the part of it and there’s no better feeling in the whole world rather than fulfilling such needs of these hot women in front of you and maybe, it’s just going to get better from here.

“You can lay down, Hyewon and watch us—” Eunbi undresses her clothes swiftly as she brushes her hair hubristically as her confidence peaks off the roof. “—because I’ll show you how real freaks get to fuck each other.”

Well, of course, it’ll end up here and like you said earlier, the night is still young and with that being said, maybe everything is just going to get better from here as there’s more opportunities up your sleeves and it will all start within somebody.

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

The sweet taste of wine

Yess!!! Thank you for your request!!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :)))))

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Smut, Minors DNI, alcohol, fluff

Word count: 7,412

Summary: You want to be less shy with her...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))

“Like this?” you asked, placing the fabric so the lady in black could examine another of your attempts to learn to sew.

The night was always quiet at the Beneviento estate. The darkness you believed existed in that place faded away like a bank of fog under the sun. You, the youngest of four siblings, a young, shy and lonely girl, never thought about all the real possibilities that were within your reach.

Resigned to living like the rest of your family, to an ephemeral and boring existence, you had the good, or bad luck of entering the forest during a storm, of getting lost like in one of the stories you used to read.

There were no witches, no bread crumbs, no goblins. The only thing there was it’s a lonely house, of a lonely woman.

When Donna Beneviento, the village Lord, a mysterious and dark woman, appeared at the door, you thought you saw the very portrait of death, the black color of darkness. Maybe you had read too much nonsense, maybe you had heard too many legends that spoke of how fearsome and dangerous the lady in black was.

Nothing you had heard seemed real. The monsters, the ghosts of your past didn’t appear to torment you. There was no torture, there was no desire to throw yourself off that cliff, no; what there was it’s shelter, a hot tea and a silent gaze that remained fixed on yours during that unexpected visit.

Disturbed, sick and deformed, those were the villagers' favorite adjectives to refer to that mysterious figure, that woman covered by a black veil, that woman who didn’t speak to you directly, but used that Angie doll to ask dry and simple questions.

You might think that the fear you felt that afternoon attracted her attention, that the tremors in your hand seemed to be almost addictive to her. You even came to think that the tea was poisoned, that, without you realizing it, your torture had already begun.

It wasn't like that.

Little by little, you began to walk through that forest again, to cross that bridge. There were no more storms or dangers that pushed you to continue, only curiosity, only the desire to meet that woman who was so dangerous and kind at the same time.

And so the days, the weeks became a routine journey, a journey of discovery for the two of you. Curiosity changed to another feeling, one you had never felt, one you had read about and didn't believe possible for you: love.

Love for that veiled woman, for the voice that began to sound behind that cloth, for a hoarse and melodic whisper that no longer asked absurd questions, but seemed to be dying to know more things about you.

And then, you saw her; you saw that hidden face, the beauty that no one wanted to believe existed. The veil fell before your eyes, her frightened gaze was revealed to you. You were in love, and so was she.

No stupid scar could make you stop thinking that she was beautiful, neither fear, nor nervous breakdowns, nor the danger of that woman made you back away, prevented you from getting a little closer, just a little closer, until your lips softly collided with hers.

A kiss, the first kiss.

It wasn't long until, determined to keep that softness on your lips, those gentle caresses, those romantic words, you left your crowded home to embark on a new adventure, to live with Donna.

And so, more months passed. You might not be what she was looking for. It might be that your shyness and embarrassment were not something she had taken into account when loving you, but everything was going well, very well. Your life had gone from being boring and absurd, to perfect… Well, almost perfect.

“Let me take a look, tesoro,” Donna told you, kindly taking the piece of fabric you offered her and which you sewed.

“It’s horrible, I know,” you said, sighing, embarrassed again by your poor skills. She shook her head, running a finger along that misshapen seam.

“No, no…” she murmured, undoing one of the seams effortlessly, another mistake. “I mean, it’s not bad.”

“You’re such a bad liar, Donna,” you said, taking the fabric again and huffing in embarrassment, frustrated.

“Oh, come on, (Y/N), no one learns to sew in one night,” she said, smiling, coming closer to put one hand on yours, guiding the other down your cheek, forcing you to look at her.

“I'm sure you think I'm stupid,” you murmured, playing with that horribly sewn piece of fabric. “My sisters know how to sew perfectly.”

“I don't think so,” the lady in black answered, with a cold voice, with a serious look, without letting your hand go.

“I've ruined another one of your fabrics…” you sighed, shaking your head, looking at that seam again. “I'll never be able to help you.”

“Help me?” The doll maker asked, curious, coming closer so she could take both of your hands and gently guide them to the fabric so you could start sewing again. “Try holding the needle this way…”

You nodded, letting her hands play with yours, letting her advice stay in your mind so you wouldn't forget it. You would, you were a pretty clumsy girl but Donna... She didn't seem to mind.

“Well, you know, I'm here, at your house, you make me lunch, dinner... I'm spending your resources without giving you anything in return,” you sighed.

“Sciocchezze...” Donna murmured, letting your hands go so you could continue sewing by yourself. You looked at her with a frown, but continued.

“Sci... Scios...Sco...” you tried to repeat, sighing when you were unable to.

“Sciocchezze,” she repeated, much more slowly so you could understand her. You didn't, of course.

“S… Scio…” you tried to say again, huffing in defeat, embarrassed by your clumsiness.

Donna laughed tenderly, watching the movements of your hand, which resumed when your cheeks blushed, looking for a way to escape from your embarrassment.

“It's not funny,” you whispered in a low voice. She stopped laughing, but didn't take the smile off her face, sighing. “I'm very clumsy with everything.”

“(Y/N), nobody asked you to learn all those things,” she said, with a more relaxed tone, glancing sideways at your clumsy sewing and reaching out a hand to pull the thread you hadn't sewn well. “You haven't tightened it enough, see? It's loose.”

“I don't know why I try,” you said defeated, leaving the piece of fabric on the coffee table, crossing your arms.

“It's not that hard, tesoro,” Donna whispered, caressing your cheek burning with blush. “I'm sure you'll learn.”

“I wouldn't say it loud…” you murmured, looking away. “How did you learn?”

“I… Well, I… I was taught by… My… My parents,” the lady in black stammered, moving away, her hand starting to shake. That was a bad sign, you had to fix it.

“Oh, I'm sorry,” you said nervously, calming that trembling with a gentle hand on hers. “I didn't mean to… You see? I'm clumsy even in talking.”

Donna smiled, shaking her head, calmed by your caresses, taking your hand and kissing it affectionately.

“I don't want a girl skilled in sewing or languages, (Y/N)…” she whispered, caressing your cheek, dissipating some of your frustration. “I want you.”

You laughed shyly, nervous about the sensations that a sudden kiss caused you, about how, without wanting it, it deepened even more, not feeling, not hearing anything but the sounds of your lips colliding.

You looked at each other and smiled. Yes, Donna was right, you might not be the most useful villager in the world, but you were the luckiest, lucky to be by her side.

The kisses continued, the caresses passed over your cheeks, over your body…

Donna leaned towards you, lowering her lips to your neck, kissing it so softly that it almost tickled you. She had no intention of stopping and that made you worry.

It had been months since you lived on the estate, but, you had never gone to the next level, you had never taken that step that you were supposed to take. Donna never insisted, but for some time now those kisses always ended the same way.

Her breathing became labored as her hands ran over your body, her lips altering the beating of your heart. You knew you had to let yourself go, to give yourself over to the love she wanted to give you, to do what two people who love each other were supposed to do.

But you couldn't, you just couldn't. Your clumsiness and shyness overwhelmed your senses. Your nerves made your body tremble as Donna manipulated it as she pleased, making your back rest on the couch while one of her hands ran over your leg, caressing your exposed skin.

You lost concentration, the slow and harmonious rhythm of those soft kisses, of the caresses that you clumsily made on her dress. Shame was always one of your greatest flaws, the fear of failure, the fear of not being enough, an irrational fear of loving fully and being loved.

When that mischievous hand slipped into your dress, gripping your thigh, when Donna gasped at the pleasure of brushing against your skin, you opened your eyes, quickly putting your hand on her wrist, stopping that inevitable rise.

“Do-Donna…” you murmured, stopping the kisses, the caresses, removing her hand from your leg. She looked at you confused, but didn’t resist. “D-don't continue, please…”

That kind of pitiful plea changed her expression. For a moment you seemed to see in her one eye the shadow of disappointment, a tired sigh at your shy attitude. It was only a second, her face relaxed as she pulled away, sitting back on the couch.

“I'm sorry,” she apologized, shaking her head, looking at you, biting her lip in frustration, but respecting, as always, your decision.

“No, don't apologize, I…” you said quickly, putting a hand on her shoulder, relaxing your breathing. “I'm just not… I'm not ready.”

“When are you going to be ready?” she asked in a brusque, almost aggressive way, making you shrink in place, disappointed with yourself. Donna looked at you with a dark gleam in her eye, one that disappeared when she closed it, sighing regretfully. “I, I didn't mean that, I…”

“I don't know,” you murmured embarrassed, looking away. Another sigh left her lips, as if she was trying to calm herself down. “Donna, I'm sorry, it's just that I…”

“Okay, okay, it's okay,” she whispered, coming closer to you, cupping your face in her hands, with a more understanding look, but clearly forced. “Listen, amore mio, I don't… I don't want to pressure you.”

“I, I know,” you stammered, keeping her gaze, hating the sad gleam in her eye. “I just don't… I can't.”

“I would never hurt you, you know that, right?” the lady in black asked, with a soft tone, with her caresses soothing your ears. You nodded, closing your eyes, letting the softness of her skin calm your fears.

“Sure, it's just... It's just that...” you said, moving away, looking at the wooden floor, searching for a small shield for your words, for your shyness. “I, I'm so embarrassed.”

Donna smiled softly, tilting her head to look at you closely, surely wanting to find an explanation for your reluctance, for your lack of desire to undress and merge with her.

“Relax, tesoro... I'll wait,” she whispered, kissing your cheek with that same smile, causing the blush to be present on your face again. “We have a whole life to do it, don't we?”

You smiled and nodded, kissing her quickly on the lips, with the sound of the clock saying that once again, it was late.

“I should go to bed,” you said, slowly getting up from the couch. Donna followed you, with a confused, thoughtful look, gently grabbing your wrist.

“Um, hey, do you want, do you want to sleep in my room, with me?” she asked, like every night, like every damn night you refused to do it. Always out of shyness, out of fear, out of shame. You were so clumsy, so insecure that you even refused to share her bed.

You didn't know if it was because of the fear of the unknown, of another of her advances, or for something else, but you simply couldn't.

“Oh, Well…” you stammered, scratching the back of your neck, shaking your head.

“I don't have ulterior motives, tesoro, I just want to sleep next to you,” she said, taking your hands, with a sincere look. “I would like that very much, (Y/N).”

“Oh, I…” you hesitated, letting the fear speak for you. “I, I prefer to sleep upstairs if, if you don't mind… It's just that I… I, I move a lot in bed and…”

Donna sighed, nodding with a disappointed but understanding look, kissing you on the lips as a farewell.

“It's okay,” she whispered with a fake smile, kissing you again, slowly releasing your hand. “Sleep well, (Y/N)...” she said before turning and disappearing down the hall.

“Jeez...” you sighed, running a hand over your forehead, regretting your decision, but too shy to call her again, to get under the sheets with her, in every sense.

“Hey, you!” a shrill voice brought you out of your laments. Of course, Angie had to make an appearance. “You've left my Donna hot again. You're such a fool.”

You shook your head, your face red from that accusation.

“I, I don't...” you whispered, knowing that whatever you said was going to make sense, that the puppet wasn't going to stop making fun of you.

“Silly, silly! Donna is going to get tired of your closed legs, you fool,” she accused, making small mocking jumps around you.

You frowned and your stomach turned. That damn puppet had revealed a new fear to you, the fear of losing Donna because of your insecurities.

“Angie, vieni qui!” Donna called from the elevator hallway, sensing, not wrongly, that her doll was mocking you again.

“Fool,” she said simply, walking comically towards her owner, laughing with a sinister laugh.

Angie was right, you were a fool.

Fear, shame and shyness were beginning to take their toll on your relationship. Of course, Donna didn't want to give importance to your refusal to make love, or rather, she wanted to pretend that it wasn't important.

It didn't matter how much you loved her, how much deep down you wanted to do it. You couldn't, fear simply didn't let you act, it didn't let your mind free itself. It doesn’t let your body melt into a naked embrace, her kisses to take you far, far away from your fears.

The next day came like any other, after a lonely night, full of regrets, of apologies to Donna and to yourself. Being alone was counterproductive, your mind traveled through all the possibilities that your refusal to love could cause.

Angie said that Donna was tired of your attitude. You couldn't believe that irritating puppet, but deep down you knew that it was like that, that the patience of the lady in black could have a limit, to which you were beginning to be dangerously close.

But if that worried her, she certainly didn't show it. Kisses, caresses, silent and calm teas... Nothing had changed that day, everything was the same, her smile was still the same. Maybe your fears were completely unfounded, you didn't know. You were simply trying to see the bright side of giving in to her wishes, of being a normal couple, of playing under the sheets, of sleeping together, of stopping being... You.

“It's delicious,” you said with a shy smile when it was time for dinner, a romantic dinner, silent, lit by candlelight. Donna smiled pleased by your compliment, pouring some wine into your glass.

“Grazie, tesoro...” she whispered romantically, winking at you.

“You know what? I've been practicing while you were in the workshop,” you said proud of your work, showing her the piece of fabric you were practicing on. Donna extended her arm to look at it more closely. You loved when she was focused, when she was meticulous.

The nerves of knowing how it had gone made you accidentally bring your hand to your wine glass, innocently thinking that it was water. The red liquid went down your throat making it burn, causing you to cough and look disgusted.

“What are you doing?” Donna asked, running her fingers along the seams, watching you amused as you soothed the burn of the wine with water.

“I, I, I got the wrong glass,” you said, blinking at the sensation of the alcohol burning your stomach. You had never drank that fast.

Donna laughed amused, shaking her head and handing the piece of cloth back to you.

“You’ve improved a lot, (Y/N),” she commented, elegantly drinking from her glass. You shrugged, finishing your dinner, hiding your blush as best you could.

Your cheeks burned, but you weren’t so embarrassed. For some reason, you began to relax, to feel good, to notice a strange glow on your skin and to look at the bottle of wine with desire.

“Can I have some more?” you asked automatically, extending the empty glass towards Donna, who frowned, but obeyed your request.

“Haven't you had enough?” she asked, putting the bottle back on the table while you, without thinking, brought the glass to your lips again.

“I'm thirsty,” you said with a mocking tone, one you had never dared to have. The wine went down your throat, that time in a pleasant way.

The heat of your cheeks increased and the sensation of feeling freed from your fears began to be present in that romantic dinner.

“You are beautiful, Donna,” you whispered, resting your head on your hands. She looked at you confused, but smiled blushing, with a tender gesture.

“Wow, thanks, (Y/N),” she murmured arching her eyebrow, looking at you with curiosity. “It's not true.”

“Come on…” you said amused, dismissing it with your hand, tilting your head to look at her, to observe her closely, to remind yourself over and over again that you loved her. “Look at you… You have a beautiful eye and… Oh, well, it's the only one you have but… It's beautiful and… I don't need you to have two because one is enough and… You, your hair, it's soft and… I, I better shut up,” you stammered, surprised by your own words.

Donna laughed in surprise, sipping from her glass and getting up from the table, surely alerted by your erratic attitude. Walking slowly towards you, she lifted your chin with a finger, noticing the strange shine in your eyes and your delirious smile.

“Are you okay?” she asked cautiously, glancing at your second empty glass.

“Better than ever,” you said hiccupping, deducing you had drunk a little more than you should have but that… Mysteriously, you were fine, safe, confident.

“Mm,” she murmured, with a distrustful look. “Do you want us to do something, tesoro? Yesterday I bought some new movies from the Duke, if you want, we can…”

“No, no, no,” you interrupted, startling her and getting up clumsily from the chair, noticing how a terrible but bearable dizziness fell mercilessly on you, making you stumble and land in the arms of the brunette, who laughed confused.

“(Y/N)…” she said amused. “Are you drunk?” she asked, holding you while you, keeping your balance, shook your head.

“No, I’m not,” you said with an exaggerated expression. “ I'm just a bit… Happy, I think.”

Donna laughed again, surprised by your words lacking tremors and insecurities, but worried that you were lying.

“Okay…” she said distrustfully, grabbing you by the waist, something that, surprisingly, you didn’t stop her from doing. “What do you want to do then?”

“Mmm,” you murmured thoughtfully as she held your body with a slightly sinister smile, surely amused by your condition. “We can read together.”

“Will you be able to see the words?” Donna joked, guiding you to sit on the sofa next to her.

You nodded profusely, leaning against her warm body, letting her perfume intoxicate you even more.

Donna read and you tried to do so, nervous but determined, with a strange confidence running through your thoughts, wanting to say, to do something different than being silent.

Her caresses on your hair were comforting, her calm breathing passed through her chest as you leaned on it. You would be more comfortable if a horrible heat wasn't torturing you, forcing you to unbutton your dress, leaving more skin than you should, exposed.

Donna glanced at you out of the corner of her eye and her mouth raised mischievously. You noticed that gesture and brought a finger to her cheek, caressing it teasingly.

“What were you looking at, darling?” you asked in a velvety voice, purring, making Donna frown.

“I was looking at you, tesoro,” she said indifferently.

Your response was a loud evil laugh, attracting her attention again, moving to, in an act unthinkable for the shy (Y/N), rest your head on her lap, looking at her from below.

“How do you say lie in Italian?” you asked in a provocative whisper, biting your lip, settling on her lap. She looked at you curiously, closing the book you weren't reading, sketching a mischievous smile.

“Bugia,” she answered, running her hand through your heat-messed hair, looking at you with the same curiosity as during that dinner

“Well, that's it... Buria,” you said amused, moving your hands erratically towards the brunette's dress, running your fingers through its buttons. Donna laughed again, shaking her head.

“Bugia...” she corrected, playing with your hands so they would stop moving aimlessly.

“That's what I said, right?” you said with a frown.

She shook her head, leaning down to kiss you tenderly, also settling into that intimate position.

“Why did you want to know?” she asked, sighing, enjoying one of those rare moments, that romantic and close contact you always refused to give her because of your fears.

“Because you were lying…” you whispered mischievously, moving on her lap, pointing at her shamelessly with your finger, with a mocking tone. “You weren't looking at me.”

“Wasn’t I?” she joked, still smiling, amused by your behavior, by that brave and confident behavior that an accidental intake of wine gave you. “Well, what do you think I was looking at?”

You smiled, shifting in your position shyly, pointing at your cleavage.

“You were looking at my breasts… Don't try to deny it, Donna,” you said amused, with a sinister smile.

Donna opened her mouth to answer, but she didn't, she simply laughed embarrassed.

“Come on…” you whispered, giving a soft blow to her chest. “Confess…”

“(Y/N),” she said confused, studying your attitude again, watching how your hand gently caressed the exposed skin of your chest, making her look away quickly so you wouldn't notice. Late.

“Yes, I was looking at your… Your breasts,” she whispered with a broken voice, with a different sparkle in her eye.

“Do you like them?” you asked, blushing, but brave, fearful but determined. Blessed wine.

“Of course I like them, tesoro…” she murmured, clearing her throat, knowing that she could be a little more direct, understanding that your slight state of intoxication could be an advantage for her. “I like everything about you.”

“Do you want to see them?” you asked with a soft tone, with a childish smile, playing with the buttons that kept your modesty intact, for the moment. Donna opened her mouth again, but regretted the answer she could give, shaking her head.

“Um… I…” she stammered, shifting uncomfortably on the couch, hiding, without success, her own blush.

“Touch them, maybe? Come on, I'll let you do it...” you offered amused, taking her helpless hand, taking it to your chest, making it pass through your exposed skin, through your covered breasts.

“(Y/N), I...” she murmured confused, but distracted by the softness of your skin, unable to control the instinct to put her hand under your dress to caress one of your bare breasts while she gasped in pleasure, biting her lip.

“Mm... Your hands are soft,” you said with an angelic smile, while Donna continued with her caresses on your skin, exploring those corners unknown to her.

“You are so... Beautiful...” she whispered, playing with one of your nipples, observing your reaction, which only transmitted pleasure, comfort. “Doesn't it bother you?”

“No…” you gasped as her grip tightened, as her gaze darkened without you noticing, subtly undoing the buttons that kept the view of your torso out of her reach.

“Come,” she said, pushing you away from her lap as a cold breeze told you that you had lost those buttons, that your body was partially exposed and that… That turned you on.

Donna guided you onto her lap, so your legs rested on either side of her body as her hands ran down your bare back, as kisses began to touch your neck, making you gasp.

“What are you waiting for? Kiss me, now, Donna,” you joked, leaning towards her lips, taking her away from the work she was doing on your neck, from the soft scratches on your back. She smiled and sighed, studying the situation, checking that your gaze remained partially serene, that she wasn't going to do anything that you weren't aware of.

Yes, you were aware, but you couldn't deny that it was because of the wine, that the desire to love had reached your body through a slight intoxication. You didn't care. You liked the feeling of having her under your body, of feeling her hips moving while her lips devoured yours.

Your hands rested around her neck as you followed the rhythm of those wild kisses, of those hands that grabbed your skin, that enjoyed your bare legs, the pleasure of your uninhibitedness.

“I like it…” you purred comfortable in that sea of ​​kisses, of caresses, moving your body to keep pace with hers. She looked at you with a smile, nodding pleased as one of her hands began a path that always had an end, the upward path up your legs.

“You like it? I'm glad to hear it,” she whispered with a sensual voice, speaking in your ear, kissing you, biting you to distract you from her caresses closer and closer to the limit of your legs, closer and closer to the heat that now resided between them.

“Mm…” you moaned, pleased by that touch, by those wild and improvised kisses. Your hand didn’t move, your body didn’t contract at the touch of her fingers on your underwear, unconsciously wet. It was a terribly pleasurable sensation, completely new to you.

Donna sighed at being able to feel that part of your body, at feeling the desire you had for her to do it, that burning passion she didn't expect to get from you.

“Madonna… Sei così bagnata…” she whispered in your ear, biting your earlobe while her hand invaded your underwear, slipping in around the edges, gently feeling your desire, caressing your wetness slowly, without losing the rhythm of the kisses, of her eager hips.

You laughed, shaking your head, squinting to try to understand her words, something you couldn't do. Her smile spread when her fingers began to play with your clit, causing a high-pitched moan from you, but nothing like fear or shame.

“I don't know what you said, but keep going,” you joked, putting a finger on her nose while your body moved to the rhythm of her touch, of her caresses.

She laughed on your lips, gripping you firmly with her free hand, squeezing, feeling everything she couldn't do when sobriety brought your fear to light.

But, as if fate played a cruel joke on you, a terrible dream loomed over your head, the dizziness worsened, eclipsing much of the pleasure caused by her mischievous, soaked fingers, playing very close to your entrance.

A loud yawn replaced your erratic moans, your body collapsed on top of hers, gathered by her firm arms, with a gasp of surprise.

“Tesoro...” the lady in black sighed as you snuggled into the comfort of her chest, closing your eyes.

“I'm a bit sleepy,” you murmured, now free from those lascivious caresses, thinking only of sleeping, only of letting yourself be carried away by that sweet perfume, by the warmth and comfort of her body.

Donna sighed again, confused and frustrated, but she put her questions and complaints aside to gently stroke your head, relaxing her breathing.

“It's okay, amore mio…” she whispered in a soft voice, losing that erotic, sensual tone, to change it for a comprehensive, affectionate one. “I love you, (Y/N).”

You smiled at that statement, sighing comfortably, rubbing yourself against her chest.

“I… love you…” you said with a sleepy, weak voice. Donna moved you away, taking your face in her hands, looking at you with some concern.

“Come, let's take you to bed,” she said in a tender tone, lifting you from the couch while you rubbed your eyes, with a sad look.

“To your bed?” you asked sleepily. Donna stopped as she helped you walk, thoughtful. “I want to go to your bed…”

“Is that what you want? Do you want to sleep next to me?” she asked in a serious tone, studying the shine of your eyes, looking for the lie in your gaze. She couldn't find it, drunks don't lie.

“Yes…” you sighed, letting yourself fall on her body again, held by her arms. “But I want my pajamas… I can't sleep without pajamas…” you stammered, letting tiredness make you say those silly things.

Donna nodded, helping you sit back down on an armchair, checking your condition for the umpteenth time.

“Okay, tesoro, wait, wait here and I'll bring it to you, okay?” she said kindly, caressing your cheek. You took her hand, kissing it comically before you lost sight of her.

“What a show!” Angie shouted, appearing just to bother you, climbing onto your lap. “Go home, silly, you’re drunk.”

“Leave me alone,” you said with a childish pout, slapping your hands in the air to free yourself from the doll, who was laughing amusedly.

“Come on…” Donna whispered after a moment of you struggling not to fall asleep, gently tugging on your hand to help you up.

“Carry me, Donna… Please…” you said rubbing your eyes. Donna smiled, blinking in confusion and looked at the doll, who shrugged.

“What a fool…” the doll sighed, walking through the dining room while Donna complied with your wishes, maneuvering the clothes in her hand and picking you up in her arms. She was certainly a Lord. She could carry you with barely any effort.

“You're like my savior…” you whispered, holding onto her neck as she laughed amusedly, walking with you towards the elevator.

“No, you're mine,” she whispered affectionately.

That night you slept… Too well. Donna was considerate of you, kind, helping you undress, laying you down on the bed and, after a tender kiss on the forehead, covering you with the sheets after a tired sigh.

“Sleep well, principessa…”

That was the last thing you heard.

The next day started differently. Your head hurt, your body felt weak, but Donna's body hugging your waist was all you could ask for. At that moment you regretted not having agreed to share the bed sooner. It was a terribly romantic feeling.

Neither of you mentioned what had happened that night. You, of course, were terribly embarrassed but not enough to regret it. You wanted to do it, you needed to do it. It was fear and shyness that prevented you from doing so. There wasn't much time to talk about it either, as it was the day of the visit to the castle, of a quiet tea with her sister Alcina, and her daughters...

You weren't particularly keen on going near that place, the Lady and her offspring terrified you, although they seemed to have some kind of affection for you.

“Uno!” one of the Dimitrescu sisters said while you were playing a strange card game. Behind you, on some sofas, Donna and Alcina were chatting silently.

Perhaps you would have preferred to be there, and not with those three scandalous vampires, and Angie, of course.

“You're stupid, you still have two cards,” Daniela, her sister, protested, shaking her head. “Penalty for you.”

“Nonsense, I don't have two anymore, look,” Bela said, throwing back one of her cards, making the other two girls grunt.

“Come on, Donna's girlfriend, it's your turn,” Cassandra said, nudging you, drawing your attention from the tow women. You had heard your name. You knew they were talking about you.

“Of, of course,” you said, throwing a random card to the floor, infuriating Angie.

“What do you mean by four cards? Silly…” the doll protested, reluctantly picking up four cards from the pile, insulting you in a low voice.

“Mm, I feel sorry for you, dear…” you heard Alcina murmur with a soft laugh.

Donna murmured something, but she spoke so quietly that you couldn't hear it.

“Hey, silly! What are you looking at?” Angie snapped at you. You lowered your head, looking at the three sisters, who were determined to cheat, pretending that you didn't notice.

“Nothing…” you sighed, trying to stop listening to that conversation. Something you couldn't do.

“Don't tell me… how curious,” Lady Dimitrescu said, leaning back in the chair and looking at you out of the corner of her eye. You quickly looked away. “Maybe I can do something for you… Daniela!” she shrieked, drawing the attention of one of her daughters, who immediately stood up, dropping the cards she had hidden under her sleeves.

“Yes, mother,” she whispered obediently.

The lady in white gestured with her finger for her to approach the women. You followed her with your gaze.

“I'm going to win…” Bela said, rubbing her hands, in a mocking tone.

“Don't even dream about it,” her sister answered, throwing another card into the pile.

“Do you understand?” Alcina asked.

The girl nodded and returned to you, jumping comically.

“Well, well…” she said, dropping down beside you, shamelessly grabbing your shoulders, making you tremble in fear. “Hey, Donna's girlfriend, aren't you bored with this game?”

“N-No,” you stammered, with a fake smile. “It's, entertaining.”

“Bah… I'm sure you're bored of losing so much, it's normal, we're the queens of Uno,” the young Dimitrescu muttered, shaking you unpleasantly. “Besides, this is a game for children.”

“What are you talking about? Leave (Y/N) alone, Aunt Donna is going to get angry…” Cassandra whispered. She was the most… Sane… of them.

“Oh, I don't think so…” Daniela sighed mockingly. “Come on, let's play something different…”

The young vampire stood up towards a cupboard, from which she took out a bottle of wine and four small glasses.

“That again…” Angie muttered, crossing her arms indignantly.

“Let's play betting,” Daniela said, placing one of the glasses in front of each of you.

“No! Are you stupid? I was going to win…” Bela protested, throwing her remaining card into the pile.

“Shut up and do what I tell you,” Daniela said, pointing at you in a not-so-subtle way, and then at the lady in black with her head.

“Oh… Okay,” the girl said, calming down abruptly and sitting down again.

The game was simple. You just had to guess what number would come up on a dice. Whoever got it right, got away, whoever didn't, drank. Something similar to what you did with your friends in other times, much worse times.

“Drink!” the girls shouted, pointing at you mockingly. You didn't know how, but you did nothing but lose. The taste and the burning of the wine were present again in your throat.

“Everything okay, girls?” Alcina said, putting a hand on your shoulder with a sinister smile. You nodded effusively, licking the red liquid that was left on your lips.

“Yes, mother,” they said.

Angie had long since returned to her owner. It was not surprising, she couldn’t drink.

“Are you comfortable, dear? My daughters are not being unfair to you, are they?” the lady asked, with a soft tone, with a dark look, as if she were studying you.

“No, my… My lady,” you said, hiccupping involuntarily.

“Good…” she sighed, approaching the lady in black again, pointing at you, thinking that you had not noticed.

“You failed!” Cassandra rebuked you, refilling your glass. You shook your head, confused, not remembering that you had rolled the dice.

“What…? No…” you said with a frown nudging the young woman, feeling better, less scared, more… Confident, but not as much as the night before. That was the signal you had to stop drinking, the gradual disappearance of your shyness. “I don't want to play anymore, you're cheaters.”

The three of them gasped in unison, pretending to be offended while you stood up, sticking your tongue out at them with an evil smile.

“Tesoro, are you having fun?” Donna asked when you dropped down next to her, placing yourself between the two Ladies and leaning on her shoulder while nodding.

“Yes, but I don't think I'll be able to go home if I keep drinking,” you joked amused, much more aware of your actions than the other time, but with that confidence running through your body again. Smiling again, you kissed the lady in black, discreetly moving the fabric of her veil, leaving her confused.

“(Y/N)…” she protested, with a tone that betrayed a certain amusement. “My love, we are reunited.”

“Oh, don't be shy about me,” Alcina's soft voice said. There was something in her gaze that seemed suspicious to you, but you didn't give it any importance. “My dear, you liked art, didn't you?”

“Yes, very much, my lady,” you said with an enthusiastic voice, playing with the brunette's hand, which remained inert.

“Donna, why don't you show her the paintings I told you about?” the lady in white asked, studying your gestures on her sister's hand, the return of your erratic desire.

“Why don't you show them to me, my lady?” you asked with a sincere smile, making Donna pull her hand away, as if something you had said had bothered her.

Alcina laughed, rolling her eyes and pointing at her daughters, who began to fight fiercely, accusing each other of cheating.

“I have matters that need my attention, but I'm sure Donna will be a better guide than me, won't you, my dear?” she said in a husky voice, winking at the brunette, who stood up from the sofa, pulling your wrist roughly.

The two of you walked through the halls. You said absurd, funny things, trying to make Donna laugh. She didn't seem too happy, even rejecting your overly bold hand when you tried to join hers.

“Hey, what's wrong, Donna?” you asked, blinking in confusion, with the hot alcohol slowly disappearing from your head. Your confidence and lack of shyness didn’t fade.

“So you want my sister to show you the paintings,” she muttered furiously, turning suddenly.

“What?” you asked, holding back your laughter.

“What's wrong with you and alcohol? Do you become a cheeky girl? Does anything go when you've been drinking?”

“I-I don't know what you're talking about, Donna…” you whispered worriedly. She groaned, moving away from you.

“It was Alcina's idea,” she hissed. “I thought, I thought that if you drank some wine I… I could, we could do… You know, the same as yesterday.”

“Oh…” you sighed confused, unable to contain your laughter. “Did you get me drunk to take advantage of me? That's not right…” you hummed.

“I don't want to take advantage of you,” she said, with a brusque tone, coming closer again. “I just want, I want you to… Lose that absurd fear you have of sex,” she admitted, leaving you glued to the floor.

“By drinking,” you said, narrowing your eyes, finding that situation more and more exciting.

“Yes, I… I don't know how to make you understand that I don't want to hurt you, that I want, I want to make you feel good and you're always running away, always…”

You decided to interrupt her with a kiss, a passionate and unexpected one, removing the black fabric and grabbing her waist.

“I'm sorry, Donna… I'm very shy,” you said in a calmer tone.

“When are you going to understand that you have nothing to be ashamed of with me?” the lady protested, running away from your hold.

“Hey, I, I appreciate you trying to help me, really,” you whispered in a soft voice, with that evil laugh disappearing from your face.

“It hasn't helped,” she said, crossing her arms. “Instead of getting brave, you hit on my sister.”

You laughed again, shaking your head.

“Oh…” you said, approaching mischievously, grabbing the lady in black from behind. “Are you jealous?”

“No,” she said dryly, without moving from your grip.

“Oh, yes, yes you are,” you joked, tickling her waist, causing sudden movements and a nervous laugh from the brunette.

“Stop,” she said laughing, holding your arms so you wouldn't continue.

“Come on, Donna, you know I only love you…” you said with a more seductive tone, approaching slowly, running a finger along her dress. “Come, I'll show you.”

“What, what are you doing?” Donna asked, while you gently pushed her against the wall, with an idea in your mind, one that, if it weren't for the wine, you would never have dared to do.

“Shhh. Let me show you how daring I can be,” you said amused, aware that the effect of the wine was no longer guiding your actions.

But Donna didn't know that, and that gave you the confidence you lacked.

With an expectant gasp, you lowered yourself to the floor, kneeling, passing your hands under the black fabric of her dress. She became nervous, stopping you with both hands on your wrists.

“Stay still, what are you going to...?” she asked, stepping back when she saw your bright eyes, sighing and looking both ways.

With an amused laugh, you traveled under her dress, kissing her legs, caressing them. You didn't want to miss the opportunity to give Donna some pleasure, to show her that you could do it, that you wanted to do it.

“Hey, hey…”she protested when your lips began to kiss her skin, moving up her legs, hidden under her dress, with a clear intention, which none of her protests could avoid. “No…”

Her protests changed, they turned into moans when you got too close, when your lips kissed the wet fabric of her underwear and your fingers pulled its edges down.

“I think you want it…” you said amused, slowly kissing her wetness and enjoying the taste of her arousal. “Donna, you are delicious…”

“Shut up,” she scolded you, involuntarily moving her hips against you while your tongue sank into her folds, causing discreet moans from the lady.

You moaned from the pleasure of her reaction, from the fear you had of being discovered, from that new feeling of liberation, of the definitive loss of your fear.

Your tongue ran over her wet flesh, caressing it slowly, savoring every grunt, every moan it provoked. Your hand joined in that massage, remembering how she stimulated you the night before, repeating the same movements she did, now on her clit.

“Cazzo…” the brunette sighed, overwhelmed by your shamelessness, by your impure actions, unthinkable for you. “Keep, keep going…”

You smiled, speeding up your movements, enjoying her tremors, with her hand tangled in your hair, with her hips dancing to the sound of your kisses.

It didn't take much more time for the brunette to arch her body, for her excitement to soak your face, for her taste to be everything you felt, and wanted to feel.

“Get up, get up,” she said hastily, without having recovered from that orgasm, one that the shy and embarrassed (Y/N) gave her. “You're crazy.”

“Don't you like the new me?” you said, licking your lips, kissing her passionately, causing her to moan again.

She pushed you away and looked at you with her veil moved by passion, shaking her head.

“If it's just because of the wine, I would…”she murmured in a sad voice. You shook your head again.

“It's not because of the wine, Donna. There is no liquor more addictive than your kisses…”

[gyutarling]

CHASING THAT FUZZY FEELING

txt as my favourite shoegaze songs

♯ — txt x gn!reader ⋆ fluff ⋆ angst ⋆ blurbs

warnings! — cringe, cheesy, not proofread, lowercase intended, extremely corny

note — i'm not completely satisfied w soob's n tyun's T-T notes, reblogs, feedback always appreciated!

YEONJUN — lovely crawl by fleeting joys

"i’m looking for something that’s lost in the light"

yeonjun can be considered what some would call a hedonist. always looking for cheap thrills, things that numb and burn, that die out just as quickly as he does come morning time. everyone knows it, they pity him, and they pity you. you, who despite being aware of yeonjun’s ways, fell victim to his never-ending pursuit of pleasure. he’s here for a good time, you’re here for a long time. you thought you’d be content with the superficial affection he provides, but alas, you long for substance. constantly teetering on the edge of nothing and something, yeonjun only wants you at your best, and your best is when you’re igniting his flame of hedonism. it drowns you— the noise, the strobelights, the waiting. you’re always waiting for more, for something. but on fleeting occasions, when yeonjun’s not even conscious, passed out on the floor from the highs of self-indulgence from the night before, when it’s quiet. that’s when you can crawl up next to him, the physical closeness aids in the illusion of there being something more.

SOOBIN — bloom by glare

"your smile blooms one on me"

to say that soobin is the embodiment of a first love is like saying the sky is blue. but it’s not the exciting, puppy love type that people always say it is. falling for him is a slow descend, that budding feeling that grows, a kind of affection that’s been there all along, it just needed to sprout. soobin is a flower. a flower that opens up when the time is right, and when it is, he brings a soft hue of salvation to your bleak world. you may be fooled, because a beautiful flower can be admired by many, but you know that the blossoming emotions that soobin feels are true to only you. delicate but strong, he can withstand all the harsh conditions that the world rains down on him because you’re here, it’s a mutual assurance. it’s a love that’s gentle and nurturing, in the way that he makes you want to grow and become beautiful just like him. he supports you in every step of the way, with a smile, and it’s all you need, really.

BEOMGYU - mellow by whirr

"always between me and you"

beomgyu is aware of the ephemerality of life. he thinks there’s a certain beauty to it, honestly, how nothing lasts forever. that’s why he would consider himself a simple person, taking pleasure in the little things that make up the transience called happiness. but deep down, beomgyu is afraid. he has been loved before, and he has loved, too. he has loved too much, too intensely— but unfortunately, love is not an exception, regardless of how much beomgyu wished otherwise. so when you came into his life, beomgyu desperately hoped that nothing would take you away, that you’re not just a fleeting moment. no one gets him like you do, the way you just know. beomgyu thinks that you might just actually be his soulmate, because your connection transcends anything words can describe. he’s convinced that he must've been surrounded by cardboard cutouts his whole life, as no one but you has ever conveyed so much depth with their existence alone. monotony is beautiful with you— in fact, he would be content with just laying on the floor in your presence for eternity. so just this once, he wishes for you to be the exception.

TAEHYUN — angel by drop nineteens

"and i believe that dreams come true, cause you came when i wished for you"

“larger than life” is a phrase that would encompass taehyun’s existence perfectly. his genuine love for this cruel world impresses many, as if he knows of a transformative secret that is the key to living his life to the fullest. maybe it’s his vast curiosity, to want to know not only of the wonders of life, but also how he can get back up even after it knocks him down. taehyun believes that negativity is too draining, because of that, being with him is like a transformative experience in and of itself. he must be a higher being, an angel, 'cause even at your lowest, just one hint of a smile from him is enough for you to ascend to the clouds. that floating feeling never leaves you when you’re with him, it swallows you whole, and it makes you wonder how you could feel sad ever again. even when the clouds clear, when you two are at your most vulnerable, under the gaze of the stars, you’ll watch the skies in taehyun’s eyes instead, they shine brighter in there anyway.

HUENINGKAI — how fast can you love by pia fraus

"tomorrow, please love me"

kai has been patient his whole life. his passion drives him, he’s been walking a lonely road to achieve his dreams. he had always thought that he grew up too fast, no time for insignificant matters, kai’s world is a world in which he has to fight to survive. of course, that doesn’t mean that he’s completely immune to youthful desires, and kai wishes for nothing more than to turn back time so he could feel like a real person again, even just for a little while. and when you came into his life— a force to be reckoned with, you are, he thinks that letting himself indulge for once wouldn’t hurt. so he lets his passion consume him this time, and only then does he realise how lonely he has been all along. kai is tired of being patient, and it shows through his complete vulnerability when he’s with you. even though it’s hard, he’s so used to locking his emotions away in his heart-shaped box, you can tell he’s really trying. kai puts every ounce of himself in the potential of your love, because then he would finally have something to hope for, no matter how unsure he may be.

[pumperpup]

In the heart of a sun-drenched theme park, amidst the laughter and the clatter of roller coasters, Thomas found himself standing before a quaint stall, its banner fluttering like a flag of promise. The challenge was straightforward yet enthralling: win a bottomless soda. With a blend of luck and sheer will, Thomas emerged victorious, the prize a frosty mug with a sparkle like no other, brimming with a beverage that sang of endless summer days.

From the moment the liquid kissed his lips, it was as if time itself bent to the will of this magical concoction. The soda, effervescent and sweet beyond reason, ensnared him with a flavor that whispered of dreams and infinity. He drank, and with each gulp, an unbelievable transformation began to unfold.

As the sun arced across the sky, marking the passage of hours, Thomas's body responded to the unceasing flow of soda with an eagerness that defied nature. His once slender frame began to expand, a visible swelling that progressed with each passing moment. Clothing that fit snugly that morning grew tight, seams straining and threads stretching, as if trying to contain a force majeure.

His transformation was stark, rapid, and surreal. His midsection ballooned, a burgeoning expanse that rounded outwards with a startling velocity, as if the soda was not just filling him but becoming a part of him. His face, too, transformed, cheeks puffing outwards, creating a visage of indulgence personified.

As the sun dipped lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the bustling theme park, Thomas experienced a moment of lucidity amidst his enchanted indulgence. The realization struck him with the force of a roller coaster's drop; the soda was not ordinary—it was magic, a potion that was reshaping his very form. Each sip seemed to add to his growing frame, his clothes tightening around him like a vise. Yet, the revelation did little to dampen his desire. The soda, with its effervescent sweetness and tantalizing flavor, held him in a spell he couldn't—wouldn't—break. It was as if the drink whispered promises of endless pleasure with each gulp, promises too intoxicating to ignore. Despite the evident changes, the lure of its taste, the rush of joy with every sip, bound him tighter than any physical chain. Thomas stood at a crossroads, fully aware of the magic coursing through him and the consequences it wrought, yet the thought of parting from the soda's delightful embrace was unfathomable. He was caught in the soda's delicious grip, a prisoner of taste and magic in equal measure.

By the time the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, Thomas found himself a changed man. The weight gained from the bottomless soda anchored him physically and metaphorically. What began as a delightful curiosity had morphed into a corporeal testament to the limits of excess.

Surrounded by the twinkling lights of the theme park as it embraced the night, Thomas sat, a solitary figure on a bench that creaked under his newfound girth. The magic of the soda, once a source of unbridled joy, had exacted a swift and irreversible toll. In the span of a single day, he had journeyed from elation to a reflective contemplation on the nature of desire and the ephemeral beauty of moderation.

As the fireworks exploded overhead, casting vibrant colors across the sky, Thomas, with his endless soda still in hand, pondered the price of endless indulgence. The transformation, as rapid as it was profound, left him with a newfound wisdom—that the quest for boundless pleasure, when left unchecked, can lead to constraints far beyond the physical.

[sonics-atelier]

Echoes of the Sea: A New Memory

For @gwynweekofficial Day 7 : Free day - Peace

Summary : Gwyn is lost in thought and roaming the beaches of Adriata when Tarquin sees her and he offers her comfort and they have fun

a/n: For all My Targwyn Friends, I've been waiting to post this for a long time now and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to do so, hope you like it <3 . Pain never goes away you just find people who make you happy and offer you comfort 🤍

The sun was beginning its descent over the horizon, casting a golden glow upon the pristine beaches of Adriata. The waves whispered softly as they caressed the shore, their rhythmic lullaby a soothing backdrop to Gwyn's solitary wanderings. Her flaming red hair, tousled by the sea breeze, framed her contemplative face, while her teal eyes, deep and wistful, scanned the sands for the delicate treasures the sea offered.

Gwyn meandered along the shoreline, her fingers trailing through the cool, wet sand. She paused occasionally to pick up a particularly alluring seashell, each one a keepsake of her solitary reflections. The simplicity of this act, collecting seashells, grounded her, allowing her to drift back to memories long cherished but tinged with a melancholy that had yet to fade.

Lost in her thoughts, she scarcely noticed the approach of another figure until he was nearly upon her. Tarquin, the High Lord of Summer, stood a few paces away, his gaze thoughtful and serene. His presence was a commanding one, yet it was softened by the tranquility of the moment and the gentle curiosity in his eyes.

“How are you enjoying our shores, Gwyn?” he asked, his voice as smooth and inviting as the waters that lapped at her feet.

Gwyn looked up, her expression a blend of surprise and lingering sorrow. She hesitated, the words caught somewhere between her heart and her lips. Tarquin, noting her hesitation, took a step closer, his demeanor open and earnest. “Would you like to talk?” he inquired softly.

She nodded, and together they walked along the beach, the sound of the waves their only accompaniment. After a few moments of silence, Gwyn began to speak, her voice tinged with a poignant nostalgia.

“I miss my sister,” she confessed, her eyes fixed on the distant horizon. “We used to play in the sea together, our laughter mingling with the ocean's song. We made bracelets out of twine and seashells, and other treasures that washed ashore. Those days were filled with so much joy, but now…” She trailed off, the weight of her unspoken words heavy in the air.

Tarquin listened without interruption, his presence a silent anchor in her sea of emotions. He understood the depth of her pain, the way it clung to her like a shadow. After a long pause, he spoke, his words carefully chosen.

“The sea,” he began, his gaze following hers to the vast expanse of water, “is full of memories. It holds the echoes of happy sailors and the ghosts of drowning ships. It carries the weight of mourning and the buoyancy of joy. In its depths, it holds a mix of all these emotions, ephemeral and beautiful. It’s this blend of sorrow and happiness that gives life its depth, that makes it worth living.”

He turned to her, his eyes meeting hers with a gentle understanding. “The pain you feel is a part of that mix. It’s what makes your memories with your sister so precious.”

For a moment, they stood in silence, the wisdom of Tarquin’s words settling over them like a comforting blanket. Then, with a soft smile, he extended his hand to her. “Come, let’s make a new memory. The first one to find the biggest seashell gets to gloat.”

Gwyn’s lips curved into a genuine smile, her teal eyes lighting up with a spark of the old joy and her competitive nature, accepted his hand, and with a shared laugh, they took off down the beach, the weight of her sorrow lifting just a little with each step.

As they raced along the shore, their laughter mingling with the sound of the sea, Gwyn felt a small but significant sense of peace. In the company of a kindred spirit, she found solace in the simple act of searching for seashells, just as she had done with her sister. And in that fleeting, ephemeral moment, she discovered a new memory to cherish, one that blended her sorrow with a touch of newfound joy.

- @sonics-atelier 2024 ( do not repost or reuse in any way shape or form, I will decapitate you )

[classicalshorts]

Let Curiosity be your Guide!

“Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious."

This is a wonderful quotation from that great and much-missed scientist and thinker Stephen Hawking. It encapsulates so much of what I have long felt should be education's guiding principle. Following on from my recent article, 'Another Kind of Narrow...', which argued that a job-market-trend guiding principle could only lead to an ephemeral educational form that only excluded and failed in its core purpose, I now bring you a more positive and passionate description of what it should be about in my humble opinion.

Curiosity drives learning, ideas, and ultimately an unlocking of our thinking potential that allows us to grow, engage, and discover. Hawking not only knew this, he represented this process. He would have, I think, been in excellent company with pre-Socratic philosopher Thales, who preferred to look up rather than down, driven by his curiosity and thirst for discovery.

Thales was mocked when he fell down a well, gazing upon the heavens. But he was not deterred. He remarkable believed that the stars were burning rocks, not gods. Given his limited tools, it is amazing that the power of his observation and logic led him to a suggestion which is not a million miles from reality. They certainly burn.

I was honoured back in October to partner my good friend Dr Nagamani Krishnamurthy, who is not only deeply passionate about education, but also an incredibly talented educator during World Education Empathy Week at EducationInfluence.com's conference with free lessons for whoever wished to tune in. We spoke about ancient philosophy and how it represented that beautiful curiosity that grows pleasure in learning from an early age and how t foster it in the classroom in a way that promoted continued passion for learning both in and beyond school.

Curiosity is natural and fabulous, from the child with the new toy to the great thinker, whose discovery makes our jaw drop and then smile, our day feeling warmed and enriched by their learning.

The moment when I realised teaching was right for me was when I was reading an unseen taken from Sophocles' Antigone, in my first ever teaching job. Sadly, I forget the passage now, but one of the girls smiled and with a look of delighted realisation, she told me that this play 'rocked', and the class plunged into a discussion of how little human nature had changed. Her curiosity was ignited and her sense of learning lit. She might not spout Classics at everyone in every day life (although if she's anything like me, she probably does), but her infectious learning and passion, I have no doubt will be inspirational.

I would like to end with a favourite curiosity-driven discovery. The atom. The roots of this wonderful theory are ancient. Logic and observation of weathered rocks and worn statues were evidence cited in support of the fifth-century BC hypothesis of minute particles to which everything could be reduced. Lucretius' curiosity led him to weave his strong scientific mind with his artistic genius into one of the finest poems ever written, de rerum natura. It represents of science and art's most beautiful harmonies.

Curiosity is for everyone and it is in everyone: the musician, the electrician, the academic, the pilot. What was the initial spark that made them go 'wow' and fired their passion and imagination. Let this guide education, let this help children grow, let this make them happy.

[emmaliee]

As a child, I always felt different. While my peers reveled in the simplicity of childhood, I found myself lost in the maze of my own thoughts. Each day brought with it a new puzzle to unravel, a new mystery to ponder. Little did I know, I was on the cusp of discovering my true nature as both an overthinker and a philosopher.

It began innocently enough, with simple questions that danced on the edges of my consciousness. Why is the sky blue? What lies beyond the stars? But as I delved deeper into the recesses of my mind, I found myself grappling with questions far beyond the scope of my years.

It was on a crisp autumn day, with the leaves crunching beneath my feet, that I first realized the extent of my overactive mind. While my classmates laughed and played, I sat beneath the shade of an old oak tree, lost in thought. Questions swirled around me like leaves caught in a whirlwind—questions about existence and the meaning of life.

As I grew older, my thirst for understanding intensified. I grappled with existential questions that seemed to have no answers. What is reality? Is there a God? Does free will truly exist, or are we all merely pawns in a cosmic game of chance? These questions consumed me, driving me to the brink of madness in my search for understanding. While my peers were content to accept the world at face value, I dared to challenge the status quo, to push the boundaries of what was deemed possible.

My fascination with the mysteries of the universe deepened. My mind became a garden of ideas, each one more vibrant and complex than the last. I basked in the beauty of thought, exploring the depths of philosophy with the innocence of a child and the curiosity of a sage. While others spent their days in pursuit of temporary pleasures, I sought something deeper, something more profound.

At first, I reveled in the challenge, relishing the opportunity to unravel the mysteries that lay hidden beneath the surface of reality. But as time passed, I began to feel the weight of my own thoughts bearing down upon me like a burden too heavy to bear. What if I was wrong? What if I never found the answers I sought?

Unfortunately, with the gift of insight came the burden of overthinking. I became acutely aware of the fragility of existence, the ephemeral nature of time, and the vastness of the unknown. Doubt crept into my mind like a thief in the night, casting shadows upon even the brightest of ideas. Every thought became a rabbit hole, leading me deeper and deeper into the recesses of my own mind.

Nonetheless, I never lost sight of the wisdom I had gained in my youth. For even as the world changed around me, I remained steadfast in my quest for understanding, knowing that in the end, it is not the answers themselves that matter, but the questions we dare to ask.

And so, I continue to journey through life, a philosopher in search of truth amidst the ever-shifting sands of existence. For though the path may be long and the road ahead uncertain, I walk forward with a sense of purpose, knowing that in the pursuit of knowledge lies the true essence of what it means to be human.

[mywildcreativeself]

Norwegian Wood

Pretty much every time I finish reading a book by Murakami, I put another one on my tbr pile. Mind you, my tbr pile is relatively extensive, so it can take a while to get to the next one. I don’t blaze through books like many other readers tend to do. I see this being a thing on the internet. Setting a really high number of books to read as a goal. I’m a bit slower than that.  So finally, Norwegian Wood (1987) came up for me. Murakami may just be my most read author and it seems strange now that I hadn’t read this one earlier. In fact, the first of his books I read was Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage (2013) and it mesmerised me. It’s one of the few books in my life that I had such a hard time to put down. It felt like a matter of life or death to find out what the fuck is going on with Tsukuru Tazaki’s life and why it took such a strange turn.  After devouring Tsukuru, I read Kafka on the shore (2002). Last year I read his short stories in the Elephant Vanishes (1993). I read 1Q84 (2010) and I listened to Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World (1985) in German, which I enjoyed the least and made me continue a) reading his work and b) doing so in English. I will mention, though, that I happened to see a play for The Strange Library in Vienna, which was fantastic, as it created a smooth continuum from the Japanese author to the Austrian enactment.

So perhaps one could say I'm a fan. I am, but I’m also not. Though none of his work had sparked the same excitement in me with which I read Tsukuru, but his colorful images do continue to draw me into his books. A longing inside me connects with his words, his places, his characters. A familiarity, yet a feeling of profound curiosity about places and people entirely foreign to me. It's like a hand reaching out from the pages, something you can almost touch in his writing.

"When everything had ended, I asked Naoko why she had never slept with Kizuki. This was a mistake. No sooner had I asked the question than she took her arms from me and started crying soundlessly again. I pulled her bedding from the closet, spread it on the mat floor, and put her in beneath the covers. Smoking, I watched the endless April rain beyond the window."

Norwegian Wood actually was the continuation from Tsukuru I was craving. Out of all of his stories these two feel the most connected to me. There is a sense of loneliness that flows through all of his writing, but these two books, in particular, seem to ask very similar questions. At least they feel similar to me, quite personally. 

By joining these characters on their respective journeys, I travel deeper within myself and find my own unanswered questions in a dusty box in the corner of the basement of my mind. What does it mean to be the human that I am? The body I was born into? With the people that come into my life - what does it say about me? How does one handle the mysterious pain in life, the one in you, the one in me?

I did put another Murakami in my tbr pile after I had finished Norwegian Wood and I wonder if I will ever come any closer to answering those questions. I wonder if Murakami himself has. 

Something I learned from this book came from being mindful about his writing, his style, I should say: Murakami's voice is exceptionally simple. He has, after all, made this known to be part of his intention. Though I feel I should rather say “non-complex” as it does feel a bit wrong to call his writing simple. I hadn’t really noticed it in the past but I notice it now. He paints an image with basic colours, but the result is complex and mesmerising. 

I will also say, though, there is one thing that stains the image a little for me and it’s the way he writes about women. Those odd beings. Their breasts. Their beauty. I feel like that’s the gist of Murakami’s women. They are these ephemeral beings, never quite like any woman I think I know. Definitely not like me.

But then again, Murakami's women are much like the rest of Murakami's stories. Almost real, floating around the uncanny valley. They are always mysterious, a little headstrong, but only as much as Murakami seems to barely be able to handle. Irrational in that "women are crazy"-sense but only as much as is needed not to become total enemies. He takes us through these women the way he takes us through his stories.

But that's his thing. That's his world. We don't need to live in it. We're just visitors. He’s the one who makes the rules in there and that is fine. 

Norwegian Wood was the first book I completed in 2023 and it will remain one of my favourites, if not my actual favourite of the year. I realise I’m late to that party but I’m not bothered. What a beautiful thing reading is, that we are given these stories throughout time, to travel back and travel forth. 

[gentil-minou]

Takes place during the Ephemeral reveal. An exploration and character of Marinette's anxiety.

Rated T. Chapter 1 of 4. ~5200 words. Angst/Hurt/Comfort. This first part's got some fluff at least, but it gets sadder from here friends.

There's a voice inside her head infecting her thoughts. Pounding on the walls, clawing its way out.

It lives in shadows and blocks out all light.

Why is it that even when everything is going right, it fills her with dread?

Why does being in the light burn?

AKA: What if I took Marinette's anxiety during the Ephemeral reveal, mixed it with the burden of secrets and lies, and cranked it up to a yes.

This fic has consumed my life over the past month and a half and a part of me is going to regret posting it but I need to get it out. Thanks to @sparklylovegiver and @deinde-prandium for looking over it and giving me the encouragement I needed to post this.

Preview under the cut:

Adrien never let go of her hand.

They’d spent the rest of the night walking, the empty streets on a cold, November night their only companion as he walked her home. Distant sounds of a slumbering city and the occasional call from an alley cat had been their only interruptions.

‘Maybe we should find them, lovebug. Give them a friendly paw,’ Adrien had joked, his paw raised and the grin on his face somehow even more catlike. His cheeks never lost that pink tint he'd been wearing since earlier that evening, and Marinette was sure hers had been the same.

But through it all, every street and every step—and quite a few stumbles, as neither had wanted to stop gazing at the other to watch where they were going—Adrien had lovingly held her hand tightly in his.

They’d been only steps away from the bakery when he'd turned to her, and she could see every star in the night sky reflected in his eyes. He’d been smiling their entire journey, meandering through quiet alleys and taking turns Marinette would have never taken if it hadn’t been for their shared, unspoken desire to spend as much time together as possible.

‘Bonne nuit, my lady. Sweet dreams, I’ll see you tomorrow,' he’d whispered, the wind carrying his words across the distance between them. Then he’d paused, the moment filled with anticipation. The feeling that something had been so close and almost within her reach. She’d only needed to grab it, face her fear and just take what she craved all along.

But the look on his face, in his eyes and through his beaming smile, had been too much for her.

Something about him had been too much. Something about what she'd needed to be and give felt like too much.

It all had felt like too much.

'Too much’ of what, she wasn’t sure.

It reminded her of seeing a solar eclipse when she was just a little girl. Papa had warned her not to look directly at it and damage her eyes. But she hadn’t listened to him then, too overcome with the natural curiosity only a young child could have before a lifetime of fear and worries shoved it away.

She had looked, and for that split second it was magical, something indescribable that was far too dazzling for human eyes.

Something so wondrous, it hurt.

Then came the pain and the tears, along with Papa’s consoling words soothing the ache in her heart along with her eyes.

She’d learned her lesson then. Allowing herself to look too closely at the sun would only hurt her in the end, no matter how beautiful that single moment was.

For some unfathomable reason, that was what she had thought of during that tranquil moment with Adrien. Under the moonlight with only the streetlights and stars lighting their way, that forgotten ache had returned and Marinette had remembered her lesson.

Instead of closing her eyes and leaning up to finally bridge the gap and do what she’d wanted all this time, she'd turned away. Instead of baring her heart out in the open with all the courage it had taken for her to reveal her identity, she shyly bid him good night and a safe journey home before retreating with a heavy heart into the silence of the empty bakery.

Just as she’d been about to head upstairs, she’d peeked behind her through the foggy glass on the door to see Adrien’s brilliant, dazzling smile. So bright and beautiful it tugged at her heart and hurt. A pull so strong but too dangerous.

He hadn’t looked away, and he hadn’t left until she was up in her room. She'd peeked outside her window to catch a glimpse of his back as he walked away, staring up at the stars above him.

Read more on Ao3

[blue-pastel-cat]

Xiaobedo Fanfic Recommendation

Welcome to my personal “if you are new to xiaobedo peeps please read these” list. As said before this is my personal list so please feel free to reblog/comment/hit me for not including any gem here. I might miss a lot of them because I am drunk or blind. (mostly have them on my to read and then forgot as I am being assault by real life shit).

I would like to say first that so far there are 150+ Xiaobedo fics on Ao3. I can’t review all of them but I can say that I have read a majority of them. Most of them are just pure love and I would like nothing more than a thousands thank you for all the fic writers who spent their free time writting these gems for us to read for free. But these...these takes the cake as it finds a special landing spot in my heart that I would just thrust them into someone’s hand if they say “I am new to this ship can you recommend me?”

1. Orange dust by bobamilkteas (Wes)

In which Xiao learns to open himself up to the world a little more after the collapse of Rex lapis's contracts but it was not always easy for a soul doomed to eternal damnation. Meanwhile, Albedo liked to tempt fate where the extraordinary are concerned.

If only the traveler's comrades are made of saner bunch.

Comment: Long ago when I like both Albedo and Xiao as a character, I was wondering hmmm....will anyone actually even write about them lmao they never met each other. I am surprise to see this one as the 3rd fic in the whole 3 Xiaobedo fic on Ao3 (yeah back when there’s literally only 3 fic for this couple). I was like I’ll read it for the curiosity, I’ll probably won’t ship them. And that people is how I put my clown make up on my face upon finishing reading it. This ONE fic alone convert me into a devotee of Xiaobedo. Please consider joining me in this circus if you want to know what is Xiaobedo. I would put this as the first of my “Big 3″

Orange Dust also come with its compliation of short stories over the course of the game and a big sequel to it. Please also consider reading ALL OF THEM.

2. Solar Wind by birdpriestess (Sparrow)

For the yaksha, his duty was his life, and his life was his duty. No human could ever hope to understand the eternal war he fought out of sight and in silence.

So why, then, did he feel that Albedo would understand?

---

Finding himself at death's door once more, Xiao is saved by a surprising person, setting off the unlikeliest of adventures.

Comment: Do you like crying? Do you like the feeling of getting your heart ripped into pieces as the author destroy your emotions over the end of each chapter as the story picked up the climax? Yeah, this one is for you masochists. The action, the characterisation, the drama THE EMOTIONS OH WOW. I kid you not that it was so good I read this while workinng when I am not suppose to me. Also, this fic has my favourite characterisation of Gold ever. I love that dramatic queen Mad Alchemist. AND DAIN. I LOVE DAIN IN THIS FIC. Our dearest Sparrow manage to toy with our feelings like how I bully ruin guard for big numbers lmao. This is the secound of “Big 3″ of my Xiaobedo list.

Again, just like Orange Dust, Solar Wind comes with its own compliation of short stories of what came after that. Please also consider reading ALL OF THEM.

3. Castle of Glass by AlchemicalStardust (Morgie) 

A black shadow rises over Huaguang Stone Forest. Caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, Albedo flees the shaking ground and the crash of boulders tumbling form the sky. As the dust settles, Albedo finds a young man – an Adeptus – amidst the carnage. Despite the karmic agony ripping his body from the inside, Xiao’s only question is “How?” How did a human survive after witnessing his battle?

Comment: The last of the “Big 3″ of my Xiaobedo list. And it is still on going! Castle of Glass? More like I AM IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTIONS! Have you read a fic about 2 people yearning, longing, reaching out for each other so damn well that you just want to throw your phone in the air as they both had their impending doom coming down upon them? Yeah this is one of them. You will like want to be stuck in the moment they express how much they just yearn for each other’s love and care that you want to shake the author for what comes next. Like...everytime Morgie update I am expressing my gratitude at the end of the chapter by writing on Xiaobedo discord “MORGIE COME HERE AND LET ME BONK YOU WHY ARE YOU ENDING IT THERE”

trust me when you read you will def feel the same. With just Big 3 and their compliation alone that would give you like a LONG list of reading already LMAOOOOOOO

4. Find a place to call it home  by yamajiroo 

Our room, he said. Xiao’s brow twitches. Zhongli never said anything about this. But then again, perhaps he should anticipate this from the beginning...

Xiao looks over at Albedo, who is now tilting his head, his look as innocent as ever.

“Are you not okay with sharing a room?”

Comment: College AU for Xiaobedo! One thing that I love this is the slow burn and what made me LOVE LOVE LOVE this fic more is how cute Klee is in this fic. Their relationship in this one is very simple, but that simplicity highlight why their chemistry work. Xiao is someone who was just very gentle, who was largely misunderstood by his lonesome nature. Albedo was someone who like peace and quite in his introvert bubble. And how they respect that bubble that each other has actually made their relationship work. I love it when fic highlight this and this one captures it.

5. I Can't See Your Face From the Other Side of the Classroom by MissWeaver  

When Albedo and Xiao unexpectedly start eating lunch together, they begin to find that they have more in common than anyone would have realized. They both struggle in their own ways with blossoming feelings, too many assignments, and annoying classmates as they navigate a relationship for the first time.

Comment: I’ll be honest, I usually hate high school au just because its so cliche. I don’t even watch and drama/anime surrounds high school student anymore LMAOOO (unless it’s very good). So if there’s an high school AU that I actually keep come back and read after a couple of chapters, it means that the cliche that I hate wasn’t there or barely was there at all. The pinning in this fic makes me want to bang their head together sometimes LMAOOO The tag wasn’t kidding when they said both Xiao and Albedo are bad at feelings. Also that’s a lot of heart broken caused by these two idiots XD

6. new world, same me, same bullshit  by  bobamilkteas (Wes)

At the belly of Dragonspine, Albedo lost control to the festering corruption that permeated his senses and watched, from the recesses of his mind, as his devoured body turned his allies into enemies. Before his rampage reached its climax, he is sealed in a crystalized confinement by the last hand of Reindottir, where he then reawakens centuries after, in a rebooted Teyvat.

Comment: Yeah I know it was list in Orange Dust but here me out. This sets out in an entirely different universe. And if you like Polyamory, this one has Zhongli joining the duo and I love it because I also love ZhongXiao with my life. Time Travel is my biggest kink. Especially when I am the person who love it when people explore Archon War era/ Alatus!Xiao. So this one hits double of my kink. Of course it is still on going and I will bully Wes whenever I can to see that new chapter. Albedo is a total fucking badass in this story and I completely agree from using him in Abyss so often. Everyone should write badass Albedo.

7. misplaced heart of mine by  inkburn           

“If you are ill, then you should be resting at home. In Mondstadt.” He emphasized Mondstadt with a pointed look in his direction.

“I assure you I won’t be troublesome, Adeptus Xiao,” Albedo said, “You’ll find I’m a rather low-maintenance traveler.”

“Travel,” Xiao scoffed, “without airstep?”

Albedo looked him up and down. “Are your legs just for decoration?”

(albedo is sent to liyue on mandatory vacation. xiao is his unfortunate bodyguard.)

Comment: Most of the time you will see Albedo and Xiao starting their relationship with one of them taking interest in another. But this one took another approach, they starting off by make them hating each other’s guts LMAOOOO and I live for every second of it. There’s only 1 chapter so far but wow it was SOOO GOOD. I am really really excited for next chapter and is waiting patiently ;w;

8.  Blossom of Grace  by birdpriestess  

One day in Liyue Harbor, Albedo watches a street performance by an enigmatic dancer named Xiao. And he becomes completely obsessed.

Comment: Have you ever look at Xiao fight and thinking that he’s one of the most beautiful deadly thing ever? How it was like he was dancing around the battlefield? How about actual dancer Xiao being so absolutely beautiful and perfect and that slow burn of Albedo falling in love with that beauty with a touch of Modern AU and cute Ganyu as the Wing woman. Yes, Sparrow delivers yet again another beautiful slow burn and while it’s still ongoing it is worth the read.

9. i think we could make this work (could get used to this) by outspaced               

“Xiao? What are you doing out here?”

“I—”

“It’s raining,” Albedo says, as if it isn’t obvious. “You could get struck by lightning.”

“What are you doing out here then?” Xiao does the only thing he knows how to do, he challenges Albedo. “It’s raining.”

Albedo just hums. “If I get struck by lightning, it’s for science.”

Comment: A short one-shot where I read the summary and went “This is it... this is their relationship.” I am sold immediately. Oh god Albedo why are you like this.

10. Ephemeral by criedprinz        

“It’s not for your investigation, is it?” Aether asked mildly.

Albedo traced a finger around the sketchbook, considering the question. “No,” he admitted finally. “I... I just want to see them again.”

He opened the sketchbook to reveal the drawing he’d just finished. Aether nodded, clearly recognizing the sharp golden eyes.

“Xiao,” he said. “You were rescued by an adeptus.”

When a visit to Dragonspine goes horribly wrong, Albedo is rescued by an unknown stranger, wielding powers he's never heard of. Led on a search to find out who it is, he finds himself in the middle of an unforgettable encounter..

Comment: A really really well written one-shot that I love. The yearning oh godddd the yearning from Albedo side is just so so much that I have to put it here. (I think you can see the trend here lmao. I am a sucker for yearning). And the moment they get to meet each other again is just chef kiss. MWHAA

11. Idle Yaksha, Brilliant Yaksha by Pit0fTheEarth

Alatus didn’t have a lot of responsibilities to keep. He spent most of his days dancing across the sky and eating away all nightmares that plagued a person’s sleep.

But one fortunate encounter led to too many unfortunate ones, taking his carefree existence and plunging it in darkness. His wings, stripped from him. His gentle touch, replaced by an unforgiving grip of destruction.

There was a lot of blood on his hands. With each passing moment, it became harder for Alatus to recall the last time someone gently held him.

Comment: This is one of the ongoing fic where I am very very much excited on the take of Naberius. And the way the author portray Xiao when he’s still the innocent Alatus is just *clench fist*. Baby ;w; Baby why do you have to lose all that innocence. Also the fic has long LONG flashback to Xiao past and his relationship with Naberius. We are unwielding more what happened to both of them and why perhaps does this have to do with Albedo.

That’s it for now, might add more later! Thank you <3

[arvandus]

Hello! Happy 750!!! So I have this OC with a singing quirk. She’s basically like Giselle from enchanted where she can control the people and animals and occasionally plants and wind with just her voice. However she processes everything around her as music so it’s constantly playing in her head and gives her severe insomnia. She’s also a member of the LOV so I was wondering what her interactions with each of the members would be like but mostly Dabi. Would they find her annoying or fun? Up to you

Thank you! It took me a little bit to dwell on this one, because the idea is so interesting! But I finally got hit by the Inspiration Imagination, and here we are! I hope you like it; I've adjusted it to x Reader per your request, and I hope you don't mind I took just a little bit of creative license for the Reader's perspective and how to describe her quirk.  I also kept it very Dabi-focused in the interest of time.

Dabi x F!Reader w/ a singing quirk (SFW)

💙 It would be a rocky start at first. Dabi would have difficulty trusting you, simply because your quirk is so powerful. Anything that could potentially take away his free will would make him mistrustful and want to avoid said threat like the plague - or remove it entirely.

💙 But Shigaraki says you’re off limits, so he settles to keep you at arms length while at the same time keeping a close watch on you. One wrong slip, and he’ll handle you himself (or so he tells himself).

💙 He also mistrusts you because… well… as a fellow insomniac, he knows that you’re up at all hours of the night. He’s not sure why, of course… he never knocks on your door to ask. But he hears you shuffling around in your space, pacing in your room. What could possibly keep you up so late every single night? What’s got you looking so exhausted every day as if you never sleep? He’s convinced that you’re a spy, somehow sending messages to their enemies when everyone is asleep. Except he never hears you leave your room. Never hears you talking to anyone. So there must be something he’s missing.

💙 You’re an enigma to him, and it drives him crazy. Dabi doesn’t like unknowns.

💙 On your end, Dabi drives you nuts. He’s an asshole, every word that falls from his mouth laced in backhanded compliments and passive-aggressive accusations. You’d come close to using your quirk on him on many occasions, just to make him shut up or leave the room. Fortunately for Dabi, you have a personal code of honor that you abide by, and controlling people through your singing is only reserved for your enemies.

💙 He’s not your enemy… not yet at least.

💙 You know why he doesn’t trust you, and you don’t blame him… and he's certainly not the first person to be suspicious of you. But does he really gotta be such a dick about it? You try to be upfront with him, to explain that you live by a code and he’s safe from your quirk, but it makes little difference. Dabi doesn’t trust easily, and promises mean very little to him.

💙 His trust is finally gained when you use your quirk to save him and the other league members from certain death. There’s nothing quite like the sensation of hearing the beautiful notes of your voice while in freefall and then feeling himself being caught on a strong wind current, only to be set safely on the ground seventy meters below.

💙 After that happens, he begins to take an even greater interest in you, but this time with more curiosity and less mistrust.

💙 He starts poking and prodding, some questions being asked directly, while others are only implied. After all, he loves his little mind games, and even more so, he loves getting under your skin, especially since you refuse to use your quirk on him. It’s basically given him a ‘get out of jail free’ card for being a brat.

💙 He really, really wants you to prank the others using your quirk. And your little miss “I’m a good girl with a special code of ethics” makes the game that much sweeter. After all, you’re just as much a villain as the rest of them. If Toga can go around swinging her knives from her fingertips, then why couldn’t you sing a little song now and then?

💙 But Dabi quickly learns that you’re just as stubborn as he is, if not more so.

💙 Even so, it’s frustrating for you because if it were anyone else you wouldn’t have put up with this level of bullshit. The persuasion, the flirting, the school-yard level dares… the man has no shame and tries every tactic in the book to try to get what he wants from you. What makes it even worse is that a secret part of you enjoys his mischief. His ideas are tempting sometimes. Especially when the other league members annoy you.

💙 On top of all that, he is strangely alluring, even with his scars. And more importantly, the ‘song’ his body gives off is, well, a pleasant one to say the least.

💙 Every person has a ‘musical aura’ more or less, a small symphony of heartbeats, breaths, and something more… ephemeral. It comes through in the way they move through the environment, in the way the air particles are displaced around them and vibrate with their energy.

💙 And for some reason Dabi’s song is practically intoxicating, just like his sharp blue eyes that always seem to pin you down, heavy lids held up by a cocky smirk.

💙 The two of you reach an impasse in your battle of wills, an unspoken stand-off that never wanes. And it’s upon this competitive dance that the two of you begin to build some strange sense of camaraderie.

💙 He’ll eventually give up on his desire for pranking his comrades when he sees you use your quirk on heroes. But not just any hero, of course…

💙 Imagine Dabi’s glee when you use your song quirk to make Endeavor literally dance as the large man’s face flushes red with rage. It was intended to keep him busy while the League made their escape. But it makes it all over the news of course, and becomes viral online for months. The laughter that the two of you share when you get back to the hideout lasts for hours as you watch the news replay the scene over and over it. It really never gets old.

💙 Oh man, does he like you even more now. You’re his new favorite person. And he finally stops harassing you about using your quirk on the League members, instead finding much greater enjoyment in targeting different heroes together.

💙 There will come a time that he’ll catch you on one of your many insomnia-induced nights. It’s a hard one, sleep being kept at bay by the musical cacophony surrounding you, despite your obvious exhaustion. Your strength finally shatters, and you break down into tears in your room in frustration.

💙 Guess who ends up knocking on your door?

💙 Of course Dabi heard you. For months he’s been listening to the pacing of your feet or your frustrated sighs through the thin, old walls. It’s almost become a lullaby to him by this point, a way for him to know that you’re safe and sound… more or less.

💙 “What’s wrong, doll?” he’ll ask, as he stares down at your tear-streaked face. “I can hear ya through the walls, so don’t gimme any of your bullshit excuses.” Anyone else would hear the mockery in his voice, but for you with your quirk, you can hear the song of caring weaved through them, a hidden secret that you’re sure even he doesn’t realize is there.

💙 He won’t wait for an answer as he enters your personal space and makes himself comfortable.

💙 His sudden presence and that comforting familiar song it brings with it soothes more than you’d like to admit.

💙 But you do admit it. You admit to everything. The fatigue you feel, the way your quirk makes you suffer, and how for some reason, the song of him puts you at ease, drowning out the other noise. It’s like your inner radio is tuned just for him. Normally you wouldn’t admit to any of this of course, but you’re well past the point of exhaustion now, and your brain isn’t running as smoothly as it normally would. So what did it matter if you told him everything? You really didn’t have the strength to care anymore.

💙 “Your quirk is fuckin’ weird.” he admits. Then a grin will spread across his face. “You like my ‘song,’ huh? C’mere.”

💙 He’ll have you lay down with him on your bed and hold you close to him, your head on his chest as he rests his chin in your hair. “Does it help?” he’ll ask.

💙 Shockingly, it does. His music surrounds you, and you close your eyes as you let it cover you like a warm blanket. Everything else seems to fall to the wayside, your tired brain only able to focus on one melody - his. Before you can even nod in response, you’re fast asleep.

💙 It’ll become a habit for you two now… On particularly hard nights, he’ll keep you company and hold you. And maybe… maybe he’ll start letting you keep him company when he has hard nights too.

[athousandtinystars]

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ephemeral ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

summary: sometimes things don’t go according to plan

warnings: tartaglia / gn!reader | angst

word count: ~1530

sfw content under the cut | 18+ | minors dni

“here, let me help with the silverware.” his mom had cooked a spread of food fit for a banquet, the least you could do was help set the table. you were curious as to the occasion, you could feel the excitement thrumming through the air. whatever it is has to be big. even his older siblings were present, a feat in itself.

“oh nonsense, darling. you’re a guest, i couldn’t possibly let you do that. go sit with your honey at the table, we’ll be ready in just a couple of minutes.” she shoos you out of the kitchen with a smile and you laugh and do as she had said. when you sit next to ajax, he’s tense, a little fidgety. you quirk an eyebrow at him, a silent ‘are you okay?’ to which he responds by taking your nearest hand in his and squeezing gently. 

he brings your joined hands together and presses a kiss to several of your knuckles, his younger siblings groaning and ‘ew’ing at him being mushy and earning a laugh from the two of you. you stick your tongue out at them playfully and they all giggle, teucer and anthon stick out their tongues while tonia rolls her eyes and laughs. 

moments later, the last of the main meal has arrived at the table and everyone begins to dig in hungrily. you all make easy conversation with each other, having been acquainted for so many years.

before long everyone is finished eating and the topic of dessert is brought up. ajax’s mother laughs and agrees to bring it out momentarily, but states there’s something important that needs to be said first.

ajax shares a look with his parents and the three of them come to an understanding or agreement of some kind, his father nods at him approvingly. ajax stands up and away from his chair and you look up at him.

“we’ve been in each other’s lives for so long now, that i feel like this may be long overdue. i remember back when we were still mischievous children, causing trouble for the townspeople, getting into trouble almost daily; but we’ve always had each other’s backs.”

you smile at him and nod. 

he continues, “you’ve seen me at my worst; you comfort me on the bad nights when i wake up in a cold sweat, when i’m still stuck in my nightmares. you hold me and bring me back to you, back to reality, never angry over losing sleep. you always treat me with such care and unwavering kindness, even when i’m not quite myself and far beyond a pain to deal with. i won’t pretend i’m perfect, and i’m so incredibly happy that you choose to stay with me despite my shortcomings.”

you realize that his family are all sitting at the edges of their seats, his younger siblings bouncing excitedly in their chairs, his older siblings smiling on with what appears to be immense pride.

“it warms my heart to see how well you’ve fit into our family, how much you all love each other. you’re so good with my siblings despite their troublemaking nature, you keep up with their energy and sometimes i’m not even sure just how you manage to. you’re patient with them when their natural curiosity gets the better of them and they fire question after question at you.

you’re so patient with me, even when it comes to my work. i remember when i had to cancel our vacation plans due to an unexpected deployment, you were understanding and compassionate. you had every right to be angry, but you weren’t. i know with work, i’m always sent so far away for so long, but you always wait for me. there were nights where i’d dream that i came home to an empty house, with you and all of your things gone, but you’ve always been there for me when i come back.”

he gets down on one knee and pulls out a lavishly decorated box with the ring of your dreams inside. it’s clear that he spared no expense.

i truly cannot picture my life without you in it, so would you do me the immense honor of marrying me?”

your throat feels dry, words failing to come to your lips. this is what you wanted, isn’t it? a doting man who loves you all of his heart down on one knee with the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen in your life. a man that you’ve loved for all of your life, one who’s always done his best to treat you right even when it was difficult for him. so why did this all feel so wrong? was it always this hot in here?

the room is quiet, waiting for your response, but you’re left reeling and unable to form a sentence. you can see the concern written all over his face, even when he’s nervous and vulnerable he’s worried for your well-being. the silence drags on for what feels like hours into something tense and uncomfortable but you still can’t bring yourself to answer him.

“sweetheart?” his tone is gentle, caring, worried, anxious, afraid.

‘i…” you can feel their eyes glued to you, watching, waiting. why does this feel so wrong? Your thoughts are racing, trying to pinpoint exactly why you feel this way. no logical reason comes to mind, so why? is it because it’s so sudden? is it because his whole family is watching? there’s no reason to say no, so why can’t you say yes?

“no,” you breathe out quietly, almost going unheard.

no.

“n-... no?” hurt and confusion settle themselves into his features. “i... is it the timing? we can wait until you’re ready, i won’t mind at all,” he offers, hope laced in with the fear. he’s trying so hard to maintain his composure. the two of you had only been dating for a little over a year, but you’ve been close all your lives. he would wait an eternity if it meant your happiness, he just wants to be by your side.

“no, ajax.”

no, ajax. your answer echoes in his head over and over and over again. 

before he can piece his thoughts together, you rise from your chair, grab your things, and walk out the door. you leave him still kneeling on the floor, devastated, his heart pounding in his ears, he feels like he can’t breathe. he hasn’t felt this weight on his chest in months now, like something has reached into his lungs and crushed them, tightness barely allowing for any intake of air.

by the time he’s recovered and out the door after you, he has a fair bit of distance to cover and takes off running after you, frigid snezhnayan air stinging his lungs. once he’s close enough for you to hear him, he shouts for you.

“wait! please!” you stop in your tracks, wait for him to catch up. he’s panting and out of breath, but he doesn’t stop to catch his breath before speaking. “please, can we talk about this? was there something i did wrong? i just… please, please help me understand. you’re important to me, i love you. please let me fix this.” you can hear the desperation in his tone.

he’s trying so so hard to hold himself together, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. he tries to blink them away, but they just end up falling, freezing to his cheeks. 

“ajax... i…” you trail off, uncertain of what to say to him. “..you didn’t do anything wrong.” he inhales shakily and opens his mouth as though he’s about to say something, but you begin walking away from him before he can. he doesn’t move to follow you.

“then why?” you continue walking. “is there anything i can do to fix this?” you stop and turn back to him. he’s a man on the brink of ruin, you mean the world to him.

i truly cannot picture my life without you in it, so would you do me the immense honor of marrying me?

“...”

“please..” he looks like he’s going to fall apart on the spot. you don’t think you’ve ever seen him so broken before. not even when he’s come home severely injured, not even when he came back from the abyss. his next words come out sounding utterly defeated, he seems to know there’s no changing your mind but he tries anyways. “i’ll do anything, please.. we can figure this out, we- we can-” he chokes out a sob, “please, talk to me.” tears are cascading freely down his face, any trace of the light that had been restored to his eyes in recent months flickering back out.

you shake your head, tears welling up in your eyes. “i can’t do this, ajax. i can’t do this anymore.” he crumples, landing hard on his knees; you can’t help but notice how dishearteningly adjacent it is to how he was just minutes before. he wants to understand, but you have no explanation to offer him.

and so he watches you walk away from him for the second time that night, for the last time.

[rason-rodd]

All The Time We Need - Jason Todd x Fem!Reader (NSFW)

Summary: Reader and Jason meet again after two years being apart and reconnect with their long lost love.

Warning : Angst, Fluff, Smut  

Author’s note: A OS definitely inspired by my 2-years long hiatus and that somewhat acknowledges it. It was almost cathartic writing it and allowed me to reconnect with Jason on a writing scale. You can read it as a sequel to “Summer Love and Swimming Pool” or not. Some moments are a bit too cheesy to my taste but I hope you’ll enjoy it nevertheless. NSFW Part is at the end. You can skip that part if you want to.

You actually realise Time flies when you take time to acknowledge it. And sometimes acknowledging is like getting buried under a mountain of sand and feeling each grain slowly chocking you and reminding you there is no escaping. The sands of Time cannot be stopped, nor can they be shoveled. They run and slip through your fingers like dust in the wind and the tighter you try to grasp them the faster they go. And when they’re gone, there is no catching them back.     That’s why Time is scary. Because no matter what you do, it won’t allow you to go back or to put an end to it. And it will certainly not allow you to forget about it either. Time will pave your life until the day you die with a constant reminder that, unlike it, you’re not eternal. And the saddest thing is it doesn’t care about what you think of it.           And yet, it seemed like Jason Todd had managed to tell Time to go fuck itself. “How long has it been?”

He hadn’t changed a bit. Looking as handsome as ever. Always and eternally sporting the same disheveled short black hair and the same mischievous yet tortured blue eyes, eyes that had put you in more trouble than you could remember. “Two years or so … I don’t know.”             All you could remember was a passionate summertime infatuation that had burnt your body and your heart night and day like a hot and dazzling sun. A fading yet intense memory you secretly cherished and replayed in period of loneliness and that you couldn’t seem to be able to replace on the timeline of your life. “Still so beautiful, I see.” You scoffed and he chuckled. “What?”       “You haven’t changed a bit, have you?” He scratched his head; arm muscles compressed in a leather jacket à la Jason that made you wonder how he could bear wearing such a light jacket in such freezing weather. “I tend to believe constancy is a quality.” You goggled at his smile, childish, adorable yet naturally so seductive. The same smile that used to make your legs shake and turn to jell-o. “I didn’t know you were back in Gotham.”         “Right back at you. Last time I heard of you, you were in this little town … Hopletown, was it?”   “Appleton.” He corrected. “Looks like Timbo talks about me in my absence.”           “You’re his brother. Of course, he talks about you, just like everyone else in your family.” Judging by his signature small crooked smile on his face he seemed touched by your words, taking even time to ponder over them. Did the family really think of him in his absence?

Shivering, you tightened your wool coat around you, attempting to prevent the cold wind to infiltrate under the cloth and steal your body heat, as you let Jason think about what you had just said. But your reaction didn’t go unnoticed and it managed to pull him out of his train of thoughts. “Do you want to go somewhere warmer? We could have something to drink, catch on. I’m sure you got plenty to tell.”         “Not plenty but I could use a hot tea.” You confessed, already imagining the spicy smell of cinnamon and chai in your nostrils and the hot steam caressing your cold face.     “Amazing.” He grinned, genuinely happy and excited, a bit like a little boy at a toy store, and lowered your beanie to properly cover your ice-cold reddened ears. That gesture got you confused for a small second but it was so sweet and caring you eventually smiled. Ah Todd, always the overprotective type I see.

***

“So, what are you doing in Gotham City? I thought you wanted to ‘travel the world Dora The Explorer-style and get the hell out of this cesspool’?” He quoted you and your genuine chuckle made him smile but only briefly as you gained back your seriousness in a matter of seconds.

He could tell you were not the same girl he used to date two summers ago. You had changed, matured. You had become a woman, a woman who seemed to struggle with responsibilities so heavy they could crush her at any second. You looked tired, weary… sad even. The cheeky light in you was gone. And he wanted to know why. Not out of curiosity but to help you.           “Well, I did travel and it was awesome, like a dream come true. But I guess we always wake up from dreams eventually.” You looked down at your tea, looking at your pale reflection in the hot water, melancholia hitting you like a train. “My mother got sick and, well, her savings were not enough to pay for all the medical care so … let’s say I had to swap my backpack for a satchel… I work at Wayne Enterprises now. Bruce hired me, out of pity I suppose.”         “I’m sure it wasn’t out of pity.” You shrugged and Jason grabbed your hand and you looked up at him. “And I’m sorry about your mother. I know how it’s like to …”     “Do you still think about us?” You abruptly cut him short, not willing to keep talking about your personal issues or to plunge Jason back in dark memories that you know were very hard for him to handle.     Sure, you could have chosen another question, another topic of conversation but the thing was that those words were niggling at you since the moment you two broke up. “I mean do you happen to think about what happened between us?”

Jason didn’t answer at first, more out of surprise than out of hesitation because there was none. There was just one answer to that question. Of course.             Of course he had thought about you all over those two years. Of course he had thought about what happened, about the moments spent with you – however ephemeral they had been -, about that love he had felt and had never learned to completely erase despite the women who had entered and exited his life. Of course there had been nights in which he had replayed the lustful burning memories of you in his arms, against him, against his naked body. Of course was the answer. But not the answer he gave you. “Come with me.” He forced you to get up and slammed a fifty-dollar bill against the table, not caring about the hot chocolate he hadn’t finished or the blueberry muffin you had barely touched. “But … the change.” You tried to protest.         “Fuck the change. I want to show you something.”

***

           Out of all the places in Gotham, you never thought he would have brought you here. “Why are we here, Jason?”       It was an ancient building, far from the fancy city centre and only a few blocks away from Crime Alley. Dilapidated, covered in colorful yet ugly graffiti, this place looked liked a landmark for drug dealers and junkies and it was an understatement to say that, without Jason’s company, it would have normally made you feel unsafe and uncomfortable.         “I grew up here, before Bruce took me in.” You glanced at Jason who was staring at the place with both disgust and melancholia. “I’ve always hated that place. But it was home. And I guess it made me… I guess that is because of that place that I somehow became the man I am today… I mean, if Jason Todd hadn’t grow up here with a junkie mother and a lousy father he would have never met Brue Wayne and never became …” He stopped, on purpose, you could tell it. “Even if I hate to, I come back here when I want to think of my past, when I’m looking for a reason to keep on fighting. This place is like my temple, a memento of who I am. Damn, you must think I’m crazy.”         “ No, not at all… ” You smiled and put your hand on his arm to reassure him. “Just very Romantic for the bad boy of the Wayne family.” You teased him, knowing perfectly that literature always been Jason’s hobbyhorse and that the whole bad boy thing was a persona, a thick armour he had made to protect himself.     “Blame Alfred. He’s the one who made me ready Wordsworth.” He joked, appreciating the small banter. “Follow me.”           You took the warm hand he offered you and followed him inside the decaying building, minding your step and trying to ignore the dirt and the potential rats.          

Once on the third floor, Jason pushed a rackety wooden door that cracked and squeaked on its hinges and you entered what once was his house. “You grew up here?” You asked only to fill the heavy void caused by this dreadful place. “It was the living room. Used to hide under the table there when my parents were fighting.”

You looked around you, trying to imagine a small Jason living in here. You always knew about his crappy childhood but there is a huge difference between what you had imagined based on the stories Jason had told you in the intimacy of your bedroom and this place.       “You asked me why we’re here.” You turned around and spotted Jason knelt on the dusty wooden floor, a small dusty shoebox that he had just taken from under a floorboard between his hands. “I’ve had this since I was a child. Used to keep the things I loved most in it. Somehow, even after I left this place, I never could take it away from here.” He handed it to you and you slowly opened it, careful not to drop it. You could tell this box was important to Jason.

The content left you silent and you sat on the floor near Jason to study it. “I never really opened it. I don’t like getting stuck in the past. It terrifies me.” You frowned, thinking about all the nightmares, all the anxiety attacks he used to have back in the days you were together. “I never showed it to anyone either but hopefully that’ll answer the question you asked me in that coffee shop.” The question? You had forgotten about it, way too overwhelmed by the sudden solemnity of this moment.  “Never?”           “You’re my first. You should be proud” He tried to joke to lighten the mood and it worked for a couple of seconds. Then, you saw it, among a dog toy, a broken necklace, a batarang and other small tokens. A photo of you two kissing and smiling. A Polaroid you had personally taken on the day when Tim had offered you the camera to illustrate your travel book. “You kept it.” You declared in a whisper.     “I told you. I keep the things I love most in that box.” You stared at Jason, at the cracks of melancholia and the vulnerability in his beautiful blue eyes he allowed only a few people to see. “Of course I thought of you over the years.”       You were not the cheesy romantic type. Jason was - something rooted to his love for gothic literature and poetry you supposed. But that sincere and pure confession got you all … flushed? bothered? You couldn’t really pinpoint the feeling but you could feel the shaky warmth spreading in your body, now paralyzed by the beauty of that moment. “Did you … think of me?”

If Time could stop, you would have chosen this moment to stop it. Here, now, away from your stressful life and its issues, away from all fears and all pains, with Jason and only him, forgetting about the past you’ll never be able to change or the future that vows to be uncertain and scary, thinking about what truly matters, now. “What do you think?” He chuckled and you saw his hand slightly twitch, as if he was hesitating to do something. And so you took it in yours and shared an umpteenth intimate look only he could read. “Sometimes I wish I’d never left.” Meaning, sometimes I wish I would have stayed and be with you.           “Trust me, princess. You made the right choice. Your life would have been miserable with me.” He tried to reassure you, in vain. After all, he could barely convince himself? “More miserable than the one I have right now? I seriously doubt it, Jay.” You frowned and finally got up, leaving Jason’s box on the ground, to watch at the sunset and its red golden rays from the shattered window. “What do you think would have happened had I stayed?” You had your ideas; small little ones of pure love, happiness and bliss that Jason would have managed to lock in that little box of his. “I have a better question, Y/N. What do you think can happen right now?” He was towering you, expecting an answer, waiting as he was gazing at your skin glowing under the soft light of the sun and at your shining eyes. “You tell me, Todd.” This sentence echoed in Jason’s head as a call.

And so his thumb brushed your cold cheek and you looked up at his face, your eyes glued to his features observing them and all the small details you hadn’t noticed before. A little scar thin as a needle on his right brow and a much bigger one, an invisible one that you could see in his eyes, the scar left by all the losses and the pains he had gone through recently. Roy, Bizarro, Artemis. Maybe Jason had changed as well after all. Maybe there was no secret to stop time. But he didn’t let you ponder over this and gently pressed his lips on yours.

He needed that. He had thought about it all day and the truth was, you had too. You welcomed his kiss without hesitation or second thoughts and came to press your small body against his - which seemed so tall and strong in comparison to yours – to instinctively look for safety and protection. “I missed you, princess.” He whispered close to your mouth for a brief second before capturing your full lips with his again. “I missed you too.” You confessed, hands over his hard chest, feeling his heart beat loudly under your palms.     Jason was holding you close now, his arms tightly circled around your form as if he was scared for you to leave, scared to be alone again. His fingers weaving in your hair, his head buried in the nape of your neck, he was pecking your delicate skin, smelling the sweet and heady perfume, glad it was exactly like the one he remembered. “Damn, Y/N. You’re still driving me crazy.”  He murmured as he allowed his hands to slide in your coat and under your jumper to caress your bare back, awakening a cheekiness that you thought was long gone. “I tend to believe constancy is a quality.” You quoted him.

***

           As soon as the door to your apartment slammed shut, your coat dropped to the floor and with hasty hands, Jason threw your beanie across the room, showing an excitement you had almost forgotten. It almost knocked an old crystal vase over but he couldn’t care less.   He had waited long enough. Two years to be precise and he couldn’t wait a second longer. “Bedroom?” He asked between two hungry kisses that were making you almost suffocating against him. “ At the end of the corridor.” You whispered, already breathless, as you managed to finally get rid of his leather jacket.       “Okay.” He suddenly grabbed you to hoist you up with incredible ease, hands under your ass, squeezing it on purpose. A lustful yet cheerful action that made you yelp in surprise.  “I’m already making you scream? Perfect.” He declared with an amused smile as he rushed towards the bedroom, with you in his arms, your legs wrapped around his waist, his lips devouring yours.     “Wrong door.” You said as he tried to open the bathroom. “Fuck.” You giggled and very soon your body finally bounced on your bed as it landed on the soft mattress.

You attempted to sit down to admire Jason but before you could do anything the hasty young man was already on top of you, right in between your legs, his lips already kissing your hot belly as his hands were slowly pulling up your jumper above your lace-covered breasts.           That’s when your first moan finally escaped your mouth. “God. I missed that sound.” Jason mumbled against your shivering skin as he cupped and squeezed your round breasts. “Do it again.” He demanded, his tongue licking you up until it reached your cleavage. “Jason.” You moaned his name, feeling a very specific humid warmth forming in between your legs as you fingers were struggling to get rid of his green t-shirt.   He cursed and knelt on the bed to take off your jumper that he carelessly tossed on the nightstand. It knocked the lamp and the radio alarm clock to the ground with a loud clinking noise. “Can you stop breaking my stuff?” You joked and he apologized with another amused bright smile. “I’m sorry, princess”             “Are you? Show me how much.” You declared with an audacious confidence you hadn’t seen in a while. “Yes, ma’am.” Jason winked and immediately unbuttoned your jeans to pull them down along with your panties, revealing your wet and rosy womanhood begging for his attention. He sighed and took a deep breath when he saw it, glad to rediscover that little part of you. Slowly, his calloused fingers went to caress it, making you draw a sharp breath as your fingers tightened around the covers. You didn’t want him to tease you too long and you somewhat you know he wouldn’t. Not today. He was too excited and needy for that.     And so were you in a way judging by the certain frustration that made you mewl when Jason’s expert finger slowly entered you while his thumb came to tickle your swollen clit. You wanted him now but you had to admit you had missed his fingers down there, the same way you had missed everything about him. Which reminded you there was something you had to do. “Let’s even the odds, shall we? I want to see how you handle such a sweet torture.”   “Sweet torture?” He repeated with a cute chuckle as you unbuckled his leather belt. “How am I torturing you, Y/N?” You unzipped his black trousers and immediately plunged you hand in his underwear to gently grab his already hard cock, making Jason curse even more crudely than before.           You chuckled and free his shaft from his boxers to jerk him off. He was as thick and long as you remembered. You bit your lower lip, impatient to feel him inside you. “Like what you see?”             “Shut up.” You knelt on the mattress and immediately took his tip between your lips to suck it like a lollipop, enjoying the taste of his bitter pre-cum on your tongue and the sound of Jason’s sharp breath in your ears. “Damn it, princess.” He managed to say with half lidded eyes.   You licked his penis with a grin before finally welcoming it in your mouth with a lustful moan. How much you had missed it. “You know. I think I get what you mean by sweet torture now.” Jason confessed as he weaved his fingers in your soft hair, torn apart by two ideas: one, let you continue your amazing blow job. Two, fuck you like he never did before. But you did not listen and started bobbing your head the way you knew he loved, taking his dick as deep as you could without gagging around him. “Fucking hell, Y/N” Jason groaned as he grabbed your head between his hands to accompany your pace. “You’re fucking amazing.” Then, his hand gently slapped your ass and he bent over to kiss it with a loving smile that was swallowed by another growl of his as his abs violently tensed with pleasure. “Alright, enough.” He pushed you flat on your back and placed himself between your legs again. He kissed your folds and licked your slit to wet it even more than it already was to finally lingered on your clit that he sucked eagerly, forcing a guttural crying moan out of your tightly sealed lips. Damn, that tongue! “I thought you said enough.” You complained, your voice as low as a whisper.

Jason chuckled and smiled brightly before he eventually knelt in between your spread thighs. “God, how gorgeous you are.” He declared as he tapped his hard cock against your reddened lips, a cheeky gesture whose sole purpose was to make you beg. You knew it. “You want this?”       “Fuck, Jay.” You grumbled, moving your hips vigorously against his shaft, looking for a way to finally welcome it inside you. But Jason ignored your whim and bent over your body. “You want me?” His face was so close to yours you could feel his hot breath caressing your lips. “Yes.” You murmured. “I want you, Ja…” He did not let you finish your sentence and caught your lips with a burning eagerness, his hand around his cock guiding it inside you, making you moan in his mouth. “Fuck.” Jason growled between his gritted teeth as he felt himself slowly sinking inside of you. “I almost forgot you felt so tight.” “ I almost forgot you were so big.” You cleared your voice, an inexplicable mechanism to relax and allow his cock to fully enter and stretch you. “I know. Sorry.” He winced, adjusting his position on top of you to admire how beautiful you were around his penis and how perfect you pussy was for him. “Damn. I don’t know if I’ll last long, princess.” Jason admitted with a shiver and you cried out when he suddenly pulled out to push himself back inside of you with one long exquisite move. “That’s alright. We’ll do it again.”

Those last words made Jason grin in a way he had never done before as he was genuinely happy that you didn’t want this to be a one-time thing, a casual lay to remember the old good days.       So he immediately took a nice pace that quickened after each new thrust and you let your hands caress his smooth chest from his strong pectorals down to his divine abs and the chiselled V below his navel, finding him simply handsome. Then you nudged his rear with your ankles, pressing his hips closer to yours to take him deeper inside of you, and started moaning his name again, a strong wave of pleasure forming in your core, ready to drown you. “Jay!” His mouth met your neck and sucked on the thin skin with ardour. “Are you gonna cum for me, princess?” That was too much to handle. “Yeah” You cried out, tears of bliss watering your eyes.       “Cum for me then.” He didn’t have to say it twice. You dug your nails in his back and screamed loudly as your walls clenched around tightly his thick cock. “That’s it, princess.” He said as you kept calling his name on and on, sending him closer to a most awaited orgasm that he eventually reached and let explode in you under the shape of a loud growled “fuck” and beads of white seed right inside of you. “Y/N” Jason groaned between his gritted teeth as he thrust hard and deep in you for the last time, his sweaty forehead against yours. “Jay!” You shouted again while clawing at his back painfully enough to make him wince and hiss.     Then he stopped moving, exhausted and breathless just like you, and watched you sink in the mattress trying to catch your breath. He caressed your hair as you both slowly came down from cloud nine. A kiss on your nose and he whispered. “You’re okay?” and in spite of the silliness of the question you nodded. “Never been better.”

Your lips found each other again and Jason let himself lie down on you, placing his head on your breasts, listening to your hearts pounding and to your loud ragged breaths. “I missed you.” He whispered and he held you body against his.     “I missed you too.” You repeated as you planted a kiss in his wet dark hair. “Did you have to keep your jeans on?” The question escaped with a laugh and Jason chuckled. “You know me. Didn’t want to waste any time.” He managed to gather the little energy he had left to sit down and finally remove his trousers as he thought he would feel more comfortable without them. “Oops. I think I broke your clock.” He grimaced as he noticed you the broken device on the floor and the flickering numbers flashing up endlessly on the screen. “I don’t care.” You said as you pulled Jason back against you. “We’ve got all the time we need.”

[definegodliness]

The Dream Girl

It was the night before the moon shifted phases from old to new that I was visited by a girl, so beautiful, in a dream so vivid. I asked her who she was, and she answered in seven poems, accompanied by seven pictures. Each poem was of an unfathomable esoteric allure. Each photograph compelling like a Pre-Raphaelite painting. And when I had finished taking it all in, I felt like she had shown me her very soul. The core of her being. Her rights and wrongs. There, in that realm of unbridled fantasy, I loved her. And I could not help but create something similar to what she had shown me, here, in the world of the waking. Fitting together the little pieces of her I had left after waking up. Her art could never be approached, so this is merely an ode. To her. The dream girl.

Sky-lamb

“Soft. Ethereal. High above where the wind plays with messy hair and flusters cheeks a healthy apple-red. Innocence. Sometimes I disperse in blue to let the universe in unfiltered. It often hurts. But when I then return to that endless sky-meadow, I am so grateful. Always so grateful. Tears of joy stream over my face as I frolic among my kin. As if everything will turn out fine. As if every day could be the equinox of spring. I am that cloud, ephemeral. That lamb so vulnerable and small. But when I drift away in aether, I reify unwavering hope.”

Light-eye

“The mountain, the cottage, the skylight. The attic where a child hides to read ancient books in silence. She must have read a thousand. A thousand wondrous worlds. A thousand escapes from ours. I let in the sun whenever she feels darkened. To hug her warm with arms of amber. And when there blows a gentle zephyr, I let it seep through the cracks in my window. It stirs the dust and cobwebs that, with a little help from the daystar, shimmer a spectacle in sepia. It keeps her from being disenchanted. She lives in me and I protect her.”

Apocalyptica

“Imploding stars. Antimatter. Within my rib-cage, mother Titan inverts. Creation malforms into obliteration. A vacuum of nothingness. I am dead, and yet, I am less than dead. There's no memory of me or who I was. I've turned into a shade of light-absorbing pain. Below my sternum all collapses. My diaphragm mimics the spiraling maw of the world-eater. I dare not move. I dare not touch. I dare not sleep with all this rage surging through my veins. Is this the real me? Stay away! I'm so afraid. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to hurt again.”

Gaean healer

“My hands are soft. They ache to touch. I am moss, overgrowing the lifeless grey of ancient ruins. Returning what man robbed from nature to the grand cycle of symbiosis. Mine is the life abundant. I am made of root and earth. In my arms I cradle fledglings. And butterflies surround the flowery vines of my hair. My cheeks show streaks of sunny pollen. Painted by bumblebees clumsily bumping. I care. For the toad that hops on my head when it rains to croak. For the salamander and newt that hide in my coat. For fragile things. For life unconstrained.”

Star sower

“Mother moon birthed me. Primordial breath, exhaled. And I, within the dark of nil, exploded into being. Shimmering in brilliant chaos, a light-catcher. Intangible, incomprehensible. Yet I am. Small and grand. Traveling in limitless expansion, searching diamonds of life-giving evolution within the never-ending. I soar. My butterfly-net of sparkling mesh, a comet's tail illumining the darkness. I've sewn each star caught on Nyx's cloak. And when after aeons the earthen sky was finished, I left mother moon for space. Shaping brand-new constellations and nebulas. I catch and sow the brightly orbs, forever expanding the last frontier between veil and void.”

Atlantean wayfarer

“Water. Soothing weightlessness. I drift in dreams depicting crystal clear images of Antediluvian civilizations. Tranquil, I am. Yet ever flowing. Ever exploring the depths of our planet's chalice. Diving into the deep blue cornucopia. Come. Come with me. Feel. The sensation of flying. Hear. The stillness only broken by the distant whale's melancholic song. Don't worry, we can breathe here. See? My cheeks are still touched by the vagabond blush. Flustered in wonder. Warm is my blood. Here, in the womb of creation. Where curiosity's never sated. Where we, if we dive deeper, may dream the answer of our everlasting.”

Euphoria

“Connection. Heightened senses. Hands brushing in a passing by. Foretasting electrification. Hold mine and feel the sparks fly. Energy surging in undulating waves originating from our linking palms and interlacing fingers. Squeeze harder. Feel our heartbeats synchronizing. Pounding. Eagerness incarnates in the space between our atoms. Souls sparkle signs of life to prove their existence. Look into their pools. Pleading. Consume me. Fuse with me. I am the moan in your throat. The silvery thread of spit connecting our rawly kissed lips. The reaffirmation of a million lives simultaneously lived and unlived together. The emollience of the whole. The affection.”

--- 26-3-2020, M.A. Tempels © Special thanks to @lorienfae​ (Star sower), @aubriestar​ (Sky-lamb, Apocalyptica, Atlantean wayfarer), and @undertheheart​ (Light-eye), who so generously offered their absolutely stunning photography to accompany these poems. Helping to create what I envisioned, dreaming.

[sonderrow-moved]

ROY’S BIO IS FINALLY UP ! It is available on his about page, mobile about or under the cut !

♚ “AND LATER MY MACABRE JOY SOURS AND I’M WEEPING FOR MYSELF, UNABLE TO FIND SOLACE IN ANY OF THIS, CRYING OUT, SOBBING, “I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED,” CURSING THE EARTH AND EVERYTHING I HAVE BEEN TAUGHT: PRINCIPLES, DISTINCTIONS, CHOICES, MORALS, COMPROMISES, KNOWLEDGE, UNITY, PRAYER - ALL OF IT WAS WRONG, WITHOUT ANY FINAL PURPOSE.”

This man has lived too long. A classic concept written, imagined by artists. To comfort them about their mortality, explore the ins and outs of an alien narrative full of ifs. How would this even work ? Even the people with the best memories, to a genius level even, eventually forgets, for the brain can only retain so much. This feeling people gets as they grow older, the biased nostalgia of glorified items they saw through their pure, untainted, still developing eyes and the resentment towards new trends as they cannot see anything without any scum anymore. The yearning not for those movements, but for this soft sensation, of looking, admiring something and think, for a moment, that it’s idealistic form was real.

This sweet, unadulterated notion became only a distant, forgotten memory as time hardened the one known today as Roy. For years. Decades. Centuries. Millenniums.

A man who was born during another civilization, another time, long forgotten with only myths remaining of it. Not even a relic to be talked about, as everything had disintegrated, returned to earth for another life cycle.

♚ “THE PAST ISN’T REAL. IT’S JUST A DREAM,” I SAY. “DON’T MENTION THE PAST.”

Roy was born under another name, one he still remembers, but has long buried away, as it is not his name anymore. No one remembers it. It is not him anymore, as much as he might like to. It is only an appellation to let go of. As humankind developed its technology to a peak, so did their power, as they yielded control over nature people nowadays couldn’t imagine. It wasn’t as clear as one making a motion to have the waves, wind and earth respond to it. It was a much more fundamental, rawer sense to it. Where the energy of the world could be used to build even new life.

Always the diligent person who only lived to serve, executing tasks exactly as he was asked to, Roy had been appointed to be the Right Hand of the High Priestess. A young female who had only recently bloomed into womanhood. So perfect in existence, like a bright, pale, white being given to their kind in exchange of their discovery over worldly power. She had embraced her role as a symbol since birth, and he was to accompany her every step of the way as she rose to an official position. To inspire and love. Untouched by anything, for her importance was too great as people shook the world order in their insatiable human curiosity. Nowadays, Roy could have been defined as a bodyguard, yet, in this time, there was no fear of another person’s mishap. Only was he to protect her from accidental injuries, get more menial tasks off her shoulder and, most of all, as they understood this aspect deeply, have her emotional and social needs satisfied.

The way she was so beautiful, the way she would only crack a laugh at his shenanigans, the way he knew how to soothe her and she, in her infinite kindness, learned to soothe him back when a crack of worry grew between his impeccable … how could he not fall in love ?

He loved the way she would recite poetry while he slowly got used to her wanting him to caress her head, and she loved the way he would sing her verses in his smooth, sultry voice. The way she would eye him while someone else was talking on stage with a soft smile while he was guarding the entrance and he’d let a smile crack.

It wasn’t a consummated love like you would see in the current, modern days. There were, of course, pairings who held deep affection towards one another and brought in the next generation, but she had a role where she would never have the chance to do so, for her symbolism was not to replicate, only to be a happenstance, a gift which mustn’t be tainted by an attempt to be artificially redone. She accepted her role with no issue, and so did Roy. And the two of them were perfectly happy with this.

This was a time before the continents even started to noticeably separate on Earth, or even before the initial ground became more and more flooded by the waters. A time where Roy’s kind felt so unified, at peace… until this built up, free of conflict power shattered in on itself.

Raw abominations started roaming, not in the form of creatures, not exactly. So ephemeral, yet spreading chaos and distortion at every corner, fueled by the abuse and infighting of those who had gathered too much and only yearned for more. Years and generations of peace had made civilization take harmony for granted, and the couple was powerless as they saw it unfold. As the world balance collapsed, Roy was approached by a group of pacifists, trusted people for outside the conflicts, everyone knew anyone, respect one another, grew with one another. And as sickly dear ones, growing tainted by the plague pleaded with him, for his position had him perfect for what needed to be done for the greater good: kill the priestess, so the good in her would spread across the land, calm the spirits through their weeps, and save them.

Someone like Roy, of unfathomable loyalty, had a decision to make. And despite the tugs at his heart, it was an easy one. For he believed that, if the Priestess was present, the choice would be simple. That she would understand, because, in her infinite goodness, she could forgive them, forgive him, in the end. And as his trust towards her was strong, it is during a bright morning, away from the war, in the beautiful temple they inhabited, up in the mountains, away from civilization, that he entrusted her with what the people wished of them… and like the great woman she always had been, she kept a serene, albeit slightly sorrowful expression as she accepted. If there was a chance the power built inside her since birth could save more than one person, she would die.

But when his blade pierced her heart, tainting her white, ceremonial clothing in the middle of the garden, she only clanged onto him, eyes wide with desperate sorrow, an expression she, and he, never ever witnessed in anyone before. Fear and betrayal spread across her dark eyes as they grew more and more obscure.

I don’t want to die. My love, I don’t want to die…

―were her last words before, as she wept and choked, the High Priestess expired in her guardian’s blood soaked arms, him wearing too stunned an expression for her to ever hear an answer for him.

Just like beliefs and idolization are made-up by man for comfort and, ultimately, are fake, so was the glorification that one death, from someone incredibly beautiful from the inside out, would be a solution to mankind creating their own demise.

And so, it was at his feet that Roy saw the last of humans slowly die out, first from their endless conflict, so harsh they forgot where it even started, and then to the unforgiving nature, taking back the life they had abused off her.

Only, as he himself felt like he was expiring, with all lifeforce living him in the deserted, now ruined temple he had taken cared of with his beloved.

♚ “THIS IS TRUE: THE WORLD IS BETTER OFF WITH SOME PEOPLE GONE. OUR LIVES ARE NOT ALL INTERCONNECTED. THAT THEORY IS CROCK. SOME PEOPLE TRULY DO NOT NEED TO BE HERE.”

And with the end of this first Humankind was the land so dry of its lifeforce that the cycle of resurrection immortality and resurrection ended. It was quite simple at the time, and helped with the utopia free of grief and unnecessary sadness for their knowledge-seeking kind. If happenstance had you gone, your aether would go back to the earth, only to rise again in the next year, century, no one knew, but they would rise again, the same people, to meet the ones they knew in another life again, with hazy memories, but just enough to recognize your loved ones, and find them again. The more time passed, the less did people come back from this dormant phase, millions and millions now sleeping under the crust of the Earth, never to awaken again. Only the one who had gathered more power could come back more quickly, not the servants, no matter how strong they were, like Roy, who was only, despite all his strengths, a support to a higher one.

Only, as their kind ended, in her last breath, was he given the last link to the cycle, to be connected to his brethren, when he wasn’t supposed to be the one to live again to better the world.

She gave it to him, as her last gift. As the forgiveness she could never give him while she clung to dear life so desperately.

For the greatest gift to give to someone where inevitable death surround them is to still live……… isn’t it ?

I have seen too little, did too little to be of any solace in chaos. You, my love, have seen, experienced. I cannot think of a finer person to carry out our legacy, for I trust that only the best will come out of you.

♚ “PEOPLE CAN GET ACCUSTOMED TO ANYTHING, RIGHT? HABIT DOES THINGS TO PEOPLE.”

Life went back to its natural course. Ancient structure became ruins as vegetation took over, and, strong as it ever was, mankind rose again from the ashes. At the dawn of a new civilization, an orphan would be found at a nearby river, taken in by farmers and eventually would be a child raised by the whole humble village… a child who hadn’t forgotten a thing, and worked towards the dawn of a new age where he could protect what was dear to him.

And so, the one these days called Roy, grew up like he did before, to train and refine his ways. Only, this time, he didn’t only focus on his personal growth, but on others’ too. Estranged from other children like he had always been, with adulthood reaching his mind too quickly, only devoted to his craft. Despite snarl from the youth, his reputation grew amongst the adults and elders, and the communities beyond. As soon as his body was barely out of its formative years, did the boy set home in the mountains. Out of the leftover ruins his past life would let him have. A strong foundation to not lose sight of his objective.

Discipline. Commitment. Responsibility. Peace of mind. Realism. Alongside harsh but fair mental and physical training, all from what he had been taught and remembered, Roy kept exploring martial disciplines he even hadn’t touched in the past, wanting to reestablish what had been lost, and, before he knew it, he was known nearly as a Sage Deity across the land. A man coming from another world, who set up his temple atop the mountains made of smooth boulders eroded with time, near a clear water source, in the middle of a blossoming garden full of colors and hybrid one never knew how such an abundance of different species naturally grew alongside one another in this location, like it was enchanted.

Often, the village elders sought Roy’s advice, which he hoped have given sparingly, in neutrality, since he couldn’t guide mankind every step of the way, only show them a flourishing path. Travelers would come from afar to seek both his teaching and words, with glorified stories growing slightly intimidating to the young man. Despite this, he did his best to carry on his duty, taking care of the new temple grounds he assembled himself, wearing flowing clothes he sew himself; all loyal to the form and aesthetic of the woman he cherished, adorning the same attire she did and flowing, long hair. He wasn’t hoping for them to meet again, only honor her memory. He had grieved and grieved, wept and wept before she gave him the gift of eternity. His salvation was throwing himself into his training, contemplating his sorrow, and so on and on again until he only felt peace.

Roy’s stories of a lady in white with the darkest of eyes became legends, tales of kindness, bravery and adventure. And, amongst his own legacy growing, did Roy decide, after much deliberation, to take in disciples. One, then two. People under his tutelage, who would, in return, vow to spread and defend what the temple fought for, alongside taking equal parts in temple duties. And as the young people he accepted under his wing grew, Roy would soon be surrounded by four bright students he deeply loved. Unable to truly have a father’s touch, he, at least, believed he was a good guardian, hoping that, with time, his students would become masters, and that humanity could flourish.

It was then that, surrounded by his disciples, minus one, actually, that Roy had just finished drinking light tea and eating some sweets. He sighed as a cloud formed in front of his thin lips, the cold air announcing the winter to come. Even as his eldest disciple spoke, Roy didn’t reply. He stayed still, unmoving, silent, for there was nothing to say about what he felt was to come.

He didn’t even groan when he felt the ornate blades of his disciples pass through him, all three at the same time, for they were bound to be guilty together. While the screeching pain enveloped his senses, he wondered if this was what she felt, when he betrayed her.

That night, the Sage’s remains were cut to pieces, scattered far and wide, while his head was burned in the courtyard bonfire, all in an attempt to stop the link he had with his brethren, to cease the “gift” he had been given and for the cycle carried by the billions sleeping to come to an end.

But, unlike what men thought, Roy’s cycle was only part of nature, and he was to rise once more.

♚ “MY NIGHTLY BLOOD LUST OVERFLOWED INTO MY DAYS AND I HAD TO LEAVE THE CITY. MY MASK OF SANITY WAS A VICTIM OF IMPENDING SLIPPAGE.”

It was always the same. Again and again. He would be reborn, train, work, bond, and die at the hands of the very ones he had linked himself. The only reliable companion Roy ever had was nature outside of mankind, harsh but fair, just like him. With a behavior he could coexist with peacefully. It started eating him from the inside out. This time around, Roy had come back from the dead a few decades after his murder, found stark naked in a rice field even farther East, still in a young adult form, regenerated. Mankind hadn’t been doomed yet, and so, he vowed to save it by himself.

Roy would travel far and wide as mankind spread its territory and the continents started separating, being the only one of his kind which could still read the flow of life, its remaining corruption, and how to neutralize them. He would never stay in one spot for too long, only focusing on what he had to do. Because if he didn’t do it, who would ? If he didn’t do anything, he would only be left seeing the same amount of suffering and death, all by himself.

He couldn’t sit down. He couldn’t lose hope.

But Roy’s respect for life took the better of him. As he helped others with his abilities, presenting himself as somewhat of a medium as others also showed special traits, he hadn’t seen how darker human’s hearts had become. So much more quickly than the society he had known in the past. People turned envious of his abilities, and, soon enough, he needed to fight and run for his own life, at the risk of being torn apart yet again.

This fight and flight narrative happened again. And again. Until Roy’s duty had no time to be done; if he wasn’t around, there was no way anything could be done. He had to survive. And as the world grew around him, his mind and memories became muddied, and the depravity surrounding his person slowly creeped into his mind, as any remainder of his initial purpose was muddled with a constant years of bloodshed. An age of decades where he was to be burned and tortured, captured again and again before he’d lay waste to entire villages for his own safety. So no witness was to remain, and less people were to go after him. His training was used in a way he had never done before. For a cause he couldn’t decide to stop. He learned how to kill as efficiently as possible, how to decimate communities, destroy morale through underhanded means. Jumping from one allegiance to another as he either killed or fled before they’d go after him. For the first time, Roy could see how much his raw abilities could be of use in carnage, with no ceremony, no cause behind them. Only death. The very somber death he swore to stop.

He didn’t even stop to wonder at the technology men came up with, using the growing devices as meant for an end, anger and rage creeping into his very soul, indulging in vices he was being offered by humans which morals he always despised. There was no relief in this life, no moment of quiet, only screams and chaos, and only sins could provide a moment of respite. Roy, actually, never remembered how he died, but he did, at some point, in some time, after all sane people had left the territory, and only savagery had roamed the land he had loved so dearly.

During this time, he had forgotten her name, even her face.

♚ “THE CONVERSATION FOLLOWS ITS OWN ROLLING ACCORD - NO REAL STRUCTURE OR TOPIC OR INTERNAL LOGIC OR FEELING; EXCEPT, OF COURSE, FOR ITS OWN HIDDEN, CONSPIRATORIAL ONE. JUST WORDS, AND LIKE IN A MOVIE, BUT ONE THAT HAS BEEN TRANSCRIBED IMPROPERLY, MOST OF IT OVERLAPS.”

At some point, Roy had no recognition if he had been in the same world, the same plane of existence amongst the cycles when he awoke once again. This time in a white, desperately empty desert. With no one at his side. He was still, somehow, a fully grown person, with the fresh memories of violence he had laid, and the scent of blood into all his pores, and the grotesque weapons he had used with no ceremony.

Yet, in this newly regenerated body, in this empty space by himself, his mind centered itself. His discipline kicked in between the silence and hunt for sustenance. He had spent so long a time by himself, alone, in the most chaotic of scenarios. With no one who remembered him, no one who remembered his loved ones, no one who remembered who everyone he even knew were.

After spending time and time, he couldn’t count how long, to rebalance his person, reshape his senses and skills yet again, Roy readied himself to reach civilization once more… yet when he started his journey again, he stopped, the sudden weight of his contact with humankind anchoring him to the ground, unable now to stand. His body was trembling, and everything he had packed fell to the ground. He knew what would happen if he gave up. What he would need to go through and experience. Again and again. He tried. He tried so hard. But no matter how good he could be, it seemed so… hopeless. However, even if it was an impossible endeavor, he couldn’t stop, or else he would have nothing.

He wouldn’t be able to, maybe, one day, see everyone again. How many times had it been ? His memory couldn’t bear so much, what important things could he not recall ? He could start counting, but there was no way to say if entire lifetimes were not thrown into the abyss, and if forgotten crucial knowledge would end up with yet another failure…

This is when, hunched onto himself in this deserted, white horizon, Roy held his head in his hand. He groaned of pain as his mind was strained to its limits, drooling as he agonized, and images faded far, far away as he life flow was being torn apart from him by his own hands. He could hear the screams of his brethren, their legacy being desecrated. Useless. Useless. He didn’t need to remember their names. He didn’t need to remember their faces. Everything deemed useless to the core of his mission was shred out of his very soul, making the pain, the worries fade away, for he only needed to focus on what needed to be done.

Discipline. Commitment. Responsibility. Peace of mind. Realism. For those virtues to lead mankind to a greater part. And maybe, just maybe, recover part of everything he had lost.

For it was the one thing she had not accounted for, for she saw this man as someone so perfect through her affection for him.

That, ultimately, he did all of this so he could see them, see her again if he ever succeeded, and mankind could doom itself if it wasn’t the only way he knew to move onwards. That he did what was needed of him, without taking it so much to heart, that, in the deep of his heart, laid a hidden, selfish reason for all of this. Yet, it may not be this one anymore, he couldn’t tell.

And as Roy literally lost his mind, all by himself, with not a soul around to witness his sorrow, he laid there, vegetable from the trauma, feeling but unable to move, in a haze of horror and pain, before, finally, dehydration took him, and he was back in the cycle again.

Only, this time, there would be no memories. Only physical ones. No loneliness, only fake memories pieced by the world to balance his existence. Only a man, his training, his virtues, and an impossible task that is his only defense against despair and insanity.

♚ “THERE IS NO TIME FOR THE INNOCENT.”