#wha 82

[billiebrambles]

so theyve definitely been dreaming up the boiling dragon since they were kids right-

[digoutskin]

ₕₐₗf cᵣₐzy

Ony x Bestfriend!Reader

PART 1

masterlist:

black fem reader, semi set in college, friends to lovers, best friend ony, miscommunication, pet names (mama's, babygirl, ma) from both characters, coworker ony, reader is very quiet and a bit of an observer, so bare with me, and it's a lil toxic, also reader has a darker taste in music and style and smokes cigarettes (don't be mad it's just fiction) a little angsty, hinted at anxiety and depression. Reader is a loner and Ony is basically her only real friend, reader is a virgin, reader is a badass, has tattoos and piercings

A/N: this is my very first chapter of halfcrazy, It'll be 5 parts, and most of those will have sexual energy or just straight up smut. Not in this first chapter though, so enjoy (for now)

"Never thought that we would ever be more than friends

Now I'm all confused 'cause for you, I have deeper feelings

We both thought it was cool to cross the line

And I was convinced it would be alright

Now things are strange, nothing's the same

And really, I just want my friend back"

" You've been sittin' there quiet for hours ma, you ain't gone smoke with me?" Ony said, eyeing you from across the couch. You had been sitting there with him in practical silence, music playing from a bluetooth speaker on his coffee table. He took a puff waiting for you to respond.

You peered up from your book, acrylics flipping a page before responding "I'm good Ony. Jus' reading." you said.

He shrugged his shoulders and took a hit from the blunt, inhaling and exhaling. He then got up from the leather couch and flopped next to you, leaning over to look at your book.

"Looks jus' like a bunch of gibberish to me. You like readin' that french shit?" He tried to grab the book from you but you quickly snatched it away, slamming it shut.

Rolling your eyes and grabbing his phone to change the song "Hey don't change my shit to that rock shit, keep my rnb on fa' now."

"I told you Nirvana is grunge not rock, it's just similar." You said under your breath, changing it to Halfcrazy by musiqsoulchild.

You had been at Ony's for hours, making small talk and gossiping about your friends.

You had met Ony last year while working at your schools library. He didn't seem like the type that would fit in with your coworkers, so he immediately attached himself to you. Quickly all you two did on your shifts was laugh, put the books on the shelf and do recommendations for other students. That turned into a friendship, in which you became friends with his friends, and that was the end of the story.

Sasha and Mikasa had been blowing your phone up ever since you met, taking you out of your comfort zone and into clubs, going to Connie's trap house to smoke and eat every once in a while.

Ony nudged you bringing out you out of your thoughts and back into the almost one sided conversation. "You heard from that nigga today? Whas' his name, Hakeem? Raheem? Rak-"

"now you know that nigga name is not rakeem, it's Hakeem and no I haven't heard from him today. Why you in my business like that Ony?"

"I ain't in your business babygirl, but you need someone to look out for you because I don't trust that nigga. Always coming up to the front desk talkin' about do we have Karl Marx knowing he only read abc 123 shit." He retorted, chuckling under his breath. You giggled then side eyed him, knowing he was right.

Getting up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen table where your work bag was, you looked through the thing to find your phone. He eyed you from behind, eyeing you in your khaki's and tight collared shirt. Your sneakers made a sound against the hardwoods floors in the apartment, work attire draped on your body.

Ony has had feelings for you for a while, but he was 'in denial' as Eren told him time and time again.

He didn't want to admit that his crush turned into feelings, he didn't want to leave his little fling alone, fearing that the answer to his question would be met with your denying head shake and frown.

To him, why bother to even tell you? To possibly mess up such a rare friendship that he'd come across.

You scrolled through the group chat, Mikasa's text bubble a constant on the screen. She was ranting about how Eren had been entertaining other girls on the side. 'He ain't even big like that' and 'I don't need his gaming ass' Flashed onto the screen. You decided to be a little nosy and swiveled around to face Ony.

He cut his gaze away from you, pretending that he was only looking at the blunt he was now putting out. A grin flashed on your face as you went to sit down, folding your legs into a butterfly position on his couch. "You wouldn’t lie to me, right?" You asked, batting your eyelashes and him and throwing your jet black box braids over your shoulder.

"No ma, about what?" He questioned with a puzzled look. "So Mikasa think Eren been talking to another girl... Has he?"

"Look, all I know is when me and Eren went to go get tatted the other day, a fine ass girl did his tat. She was feeling all up on him and flirting. She did give him her number but ion know if he responded. Connie was laughing the whole time trying to talk to her but she ain't want him, she wanted Eren." he paused, glancing at you.

"Don't get in that messy shit, you weren't around the last time she found out he was fucking around on her. She slashed his tires, burned 'fuck you' into his grass. It was ugly. Mikasa is a crazy ass bitch that'll get you in trouble. You too reserved for that, ma." crinkling his nose at the remembrance of 2023.

"They gon' make up, fuck, and be done with it and back with each other again. Don't let her convince you otherwise." with that he let out a sigh, muttering 'shit' in response to his phone buzzing. You looked away from him, a little contact high from earlier.

-

-

-

Ony had always harped on you for being a bit straight edge, only smoking a few times since you've meet.

Each time, you found the warm haze that washed over you only made him look better than normal, made his voice deeper, made you wet when he would hold the blunt up to your lips and tell you to inhale. The first time you smoked together he helped you, coaching you on how to handle it, letting out "inhale ma. There you go, so good at it ion' even gotta teach you" into your ear in a hushed voice.

Before that the feelings that you felt for him were excitement, happiness, and borderline hysterical while talking to him. You could admit to yourself that he was an attractive guy, tattoo sleeve cascading down his arms, a clean cut line up with the two earrings to match. Pearly whites with eyes and a smile that made you melt silently when you looked at him.

He wouldn't, no, couldn't have known you like him in that way, shared the same throbbing feelings between you too.

As much as he wanted you to share them, he just didn't see it. You always had this unassuming face on, only sharing intimate information with him when it really affected you in the worse way. He couldn't remember the first night he got you high, but he remembered the second.

The heat was sweltering and the air conditioner in the dorms was cut off, so everyone you knew from school went to family, friends, or cool shelters over the weekend.

You went to Ony, promising him that you would play video games, watch movies, and just chill all weekend. By the time he got to the dorms to pick you up, your usual calm facial expression was contorted into a frown.

He could see the glossy tears gathering in your eyes and you slammed the car door after throwing your overnight bag in the back.

He decided against saying anything just he, he drove off, letting the sound of 'chicago' by micheal jackson play in the background. You sniffled, wiping away tears only to put the same expression back on, as cold as ice.

"Whas' wrong Y/n, forreal? You ain't said nun whole ride." He turned the music down, waiting for a response.

"Just some guy. I'm tired of nigga's, Ony. always wanting sex and nothing else. No intimacy, wanna hook up but don't want to actually get to know me for me. I enjoy being a loner, it's what I do, but I still want love. I feel like it's not even disappointing, it just makes me want to be alone for good." You ranted.

He kept his eyes trained on the road, and by the end of your conversation, you two had made it to the apartment. "That's why I told you to stop fucking with nigga's like that. He got you all upset and shit, you don't listen." He continued the conversation while gathering all of your things from the back seat.

Later that night, you two had eaten, played a few rounds of mortal kombat and super smash brothers, he had convinced you that the chill part of the hangout wasn't finished until he had properly smoked you out.

He brought you to the bedroom, set up some music and put on some cartoons in the background to balance out the tense energy you had from earlier.

A few crystals sat on his nightstand, a clear quartz, carnelian, and a rose quartz. You took mental note of that and decided to get comfortable, propping yourself up on the pillow you had brought along. He had already rolled the blunt and brought the ashtray out, placing it between you two.

Remembering last time when he called himself 'teaching' you, you quickly caught onto how to smoke blunts. The two of you passed it back and forth. You had the hidden habit of smoking a cigarette or two, so inhaling the weed was stronger but now next to nothing for you.

"That guy that hangs around the library has a crush on you. He down bad, ma. Fuck, what's his name?" he muttered.

"Hakeem. I'm not feeling him like that though." You said, eyes glazed over.

"I'm telling you he on that Joe shit forreal. Hanging around the library, peeking around shelves. He gone beck yo' shit, Y/n." He cackled, passing the blunt towards you.

He glanced down at the v-neck you had on, cleavage showing. The leggings you threw on showed the curves you had, and he hadn't noticed it before, but the twinkling in your eyes showed even more in the haze of the smoke. You closed your eyes and stayed like that for a second, letting the feeling of sleepiness wash over you.

After you dozed off he ashed the blunt, carrying it with him to the living room where he finished it, and began to clean up. Your phone was buzzing on the table, and he figured that you trusted him enough to open whatever it was.

So he did. The contact was labeled Hakeem, with a skull emoji next to the name. The text message read as the following, 'I'm sorry y/n I really am. I didn't know you were a virgin. When you rejected me it's because I thought you was talking to that guy that's always around. I promise you me and that girl ain't even sleep together like that'

He stopped reading the text and slammed the phone down. He knew that the nigga had pissed him off before with hanging around the job waiting for you to get off, but he didn't know you actually talked to him. You're virgin? Wasn't what he expected but you are private, borderline mysterious to him but still so comfortable around him like you've known him for years.

That was the day he officially decided he would leave you alone to just do you, letting whatever you had between you just be. The feelings wouldn't stop, No. They pestered and lingered, they are still there with him.

His plan was to lay in wait, let things happen on there own.

-

-

-

In the present, you two were currently at your shift. You were somewhere in the back sorting out the damaged books, student's reckless with the sensitive materials.

Ony worked the desk, flashing his smile at the pretty girls that would walk pass. He was a straight A student with a high GPA, unlike his friends he did plan on doing something with his life, so he took pride in his knowledge. Breaking his glance towards the back room where you were, he was brought out of his gaze by a grating voice.

"Sup' B. Where Y/n?" The light skin male asked Ony. He wore a Nike tech paired with black sneakers, his curly hair braided to the back with a fresh line up.

The sound of his voice just annoyed Ony.

His face contorted to one of disgust, and finally he answered the man "She's busy. Come back later." His voice bellowed out.

Hakeem's eyes pierced back at Ony, green orbs of his flickering darker in annoyance. "Whatever. Just tell her I was here." He walked away, out of the double doors, pulling his phone out when he got to the lobby of the school.

'Y/n text me back, you got this nigga covering for you and shit.'

He would get you back, and get rid of Ony too.

-

-

It was now hours later, and you were outside on a bench, smoking a cigarette alone. You watched as people passed by, some on bikes but most were hand in hand. You inhaled, taking some smoke in.

You had gotten the text from Hakeem earlier and, in a moment of weakness, texted him that you’d be at a local club tonight with a group, so you could talk to him there.

You shot Sasha a quick text about going out and before you knew it, everyone, including Ony was going.

Tonight would be a night to remember.

[autumnalfallingleaves]

Question, in the first few chapters on WondLa, before Rovee gave Eva the translator, were you able to decode what Besteel and Rovee were saying? I’m still having a hard time trying to figure out what they’re saying. Still wondering what Shee-na means.

*spreads arms dramatically* My time has come.

Lmao. I love conlangs, so I've definitely tried to translate the non-human dialogue a couple times over the years, so I'll give it my best shot!

First, I think "shee-na" probably means "quiet" or a variation thereof, given that Rovender makes a shushing motion when saying that. As for book dialogue:

"'Ovanda say tateel?'" (pg. 69, Rovender)

Likely "What are you doing?" I'd be inclined to translate as "Who/what are you?" instead if not for the fact that Rovender says this same thing to Eva when she's hiding under Otto on pg. 94. They're sort of familiar with each other at this point, so it doesn't make any sense to ask who she is again.

"'Daff effu Cærulean?'" (pg. 77, Besteel)

Possibly something along the lines of a snarky greeting, or "What are you doing, Cærulean?", or even "We meet again, Cærulean?". From context clues, I'd say Besteel and Rovender have crossed paths before (they seem slightly familiar with each other; Besteel knows Rovender by name) and have a history of not liking the other/Rovender keeps messing with Besteel. This is also why I'd posit a snarky greeting.

"'Tuda neem,'" (pg. 82, Besteel)

"Don't worry," meant in an extremely worrying fashion.

"'Kap und gabbo.... Ta, broog iffa yu nabba,'" (pg. 83, Besteel)

Context seems to suggest "ta" is "yes" in the common Orbonian language. The whole thing is perhaps "You can't escape [or you are scared].... Yes, you will be perfect [or: you will live]," possibly as a reference to his mission to capture specimans to free Redimus.

"'Oeeah. Te banga nee peezil,'" (pg. 83, Rovender)

"Oeeah" is an exclamation, so has no translation. Possibly "see what he's doing there"?

"'Dot, dat.'" (pg. 83, Rovender)

"Stop, no." "Dat" appears to be "no".

"'Peesa van shuuzu,'" (pg. 84, Rovender)

"Going up is the only way out"; "peesa" is "up".

"'Ta! Ta! [...] Peesa.'" (pg. 84, Rovender)

"Yes! Yes! [...] Up."

"'Pra! Dooma boffa!'" (pg. 85, Besteel)

"Back! Stupid animal!" (translation note: what an asshole)

"'Dat, dat, dat. [...] Te,'" (pg. 85, Rovender)

"No, no, no. [...] There,'"

"'Tasha, zaata,'" (pg. 87, Rovender)

"Alright, go,"; "zaata" is "go".

"'Bluh, sizzu feezi,'" (pg. 88, Rovender)

"Bluh" is an exclamation and has no translation. "Feezi" means "nymph"; this seems to be a word Orbonians-- or at least Cæruleans and/or Halcyonus-- use for children. Eva is referred to as "the nymph" and-- I believe-- "the nymph of the forest" and, in the 200 years later epilogue, the language blend of English and the common Orbonian language gives us "'Feezi, known as Eva'", providing a direct translation. This whole phrase, then, could be "Bluh, ridiculous nymph."

"'Feezi meed! [...] Ya battee meer de hagrim Ruzender. Wha seesha?'" (pg. 88, Besteel)

"The nymph is gone! [...] You're to blame for this, Rovender. Where is she?"

"'Grazeet! [...] Zaata! Zaata! Zaata!'" (pg. 90, Rovender)

"Move! [...] Go! Go! Go!"

"'Nassa Ruzender Keet!'" (pg. 92, Besteel)

"Goddamn [or Orbonian equivalent curse word] Rovender Kitt!"

"'Tista baffa fooh!'" (pg. 94, Besteel)

"Get back here!"

"'Gabu Baasteel!'" (pg. 94, Rovender)

"[insert Orbonian curse word] Besteel!"

"'Feezi! [...] Zaata! Zaata!'" (pg. 96, Rovender)

"Nymph! [...] Go! Go!"

"'Dat, dat, dat, [...] Feezi zaata. [...] Ruzender zaata.'" (pg. 96, Rovender)

"No, no, no. [...] Nymph go. [...] Rovender go." Sentence and grammatical structure are likely heavily simplified due to neither of them being able to understand one another and Rovender being like "what is the most simple thing this weird kid could understand"

"'Grasset de fugill Ruzender!'" (pg. 97, Besteel)

"You're dead, Rovender!"

"'Ewa seetha tadasha,'" (pg. 99, Rovender)

"That was exciting," said by someone who wishes this never happened.

"'Ta! Feezi!'" (pg. 99, Rovender)

"Yes! Nymph!"

"'Zuzu, zuzu,'" (pg. 100, Rovender)

"Wait, wait,"

"'Kip! Kip!'" (pg. 100, Rovender)

"Talk! Talk!" The transcoder later has Rovender say "Tes, continue kipping" as it calibrates, so "kip" is probably "talk".

"'Dat, dat, dat, feezi, [...] Doot, doot, ba kip!'" (pg. 100, Rovender)

"No, no, no, nymph, [...] Closer, closer, and talk!"

"'Dat, [...] Peesa tobondi feezi, ta kipli.'" (pg. 101, Rovender)

"No, [...] Keep it up close, nymph, and talk."

"'Zazig. I try to peebla foo,'" (pg. 101, Rovender)

"Sort of. I try to make it easier,"

"'If you do, [...] you hret graaveem my speech.'" (pg. 102, Rovender)

"If you do, [...] you understand my speech."

I think that's all the Orbonian language we get; I hope this helps! :)

[head-empty-just-sigma]

*aHEM* okay. let's try this again

so i did a theory thing i guess like months ago where i tried to figure out why Fukuchi said that Fukuzawa's answer was wrong about his motives, and it SUCKED tbh. which is why it is now in the trash next to my sanity

and recently i did that again, but this time i went back and read 30+ chapters (starting from chapter 71 and backtracking a few times) and collected Too Many screenshots of panels to use while i write a new theory because i was unhappy with my first one but i promise i'm not going to make you look at all of them because that would be cruel and make this post infinitely longer

i'll include a tldr at the bottom for this since it really boils down to one point, and to get to that one point i want to cover quite a bit of context so i understand if you just want to read the Main Point lol

so let's try this Fukuchi's goal theory again but better this time

*distant sleep-deprived sobbing*

🔺spoiler warning for chapters 70-104.5🔻

Starting with what we know...

So this is the first thing we learn before we even know Kamui is Fukuchi, coming from Mushitaro in chapter 70. What I want to focus on is Ango's response to the information, because YEAH that's exactly what I said too the first time I read it!! Why does he say "eliminate" and not "overthrow"?? Don't people usually overthrow a government? Well, this makes more sense to us later once we learn Fukuchi doesn't actually plan on overthrowing anything. What he really wants is to eliminate the concept of different "governments" and different "nations" altogether. This is what we learn in his speech about heading what he calls 'the Humankind Army', in chapter 82. He's not trying to become the leader of the entire world, so to speak, he just wants the entire world to be united with a single army so that there are no borders and no armies beyond the One Single Army.

Okay, but why?

Fukuchi, now that he's be revealed in chapter 85, just straight up admits he plans on "eliminating" every single nation. He doesn't want to leave a single one out of his Humankind Army, because that would leave room for error. Every nation must be brought into the fold or eliminated altogether in order to prevent wars from ever breaking out again, according to him. I'm not going to explain how ludicrous this plan is because I don't need to, he's a villain doing villain things and he genuinely believes that he will get away with this because he has Bram and One Order. Not to mention, he is amplifying Bram's power to some degree, as this is something he reveals to Tachihara when the latter claims that taking over half the world's armies is an impossible feat in chapter 90. It’s possible he could do the same with One Order, since it is an ‘ability weapon’, but it’s impossible to know for sure until we see him use it.

I think the second image pretty much explains why he wants to eliminate the nations. He was a weapon of war, essentially, commanded by the nation he served to slaughter his adversaries while he watched his comrades die around him. He's clearly traumatized/haunted by the deaths of his comrades, as we're shown a couple of times that he has PTSD-like flashbacks or hallucinations to when he was on the battlefield. In one of these flashbacks/memories, we see him being told by a dying soldier to seek revenge.

calm down walmart batman

Now, here's where things get interesting, because in chapter 104.5, we learn that revenge is not his goal.

Fukuzawa guesses it is, saying it's revenge on the government that sent him and his comrades to war over and over again using a healing ability, and also punishment for Fukuzawa himself for ‘betraying’ Fukuchi and not going to war with him. However, Fukuchi immediately corrects Fukuzawa by straight up stabbing him in the gut... So his goal obviously isn't actually getting revenge on the government or Fukuzawa, or the ADA as a whole even.

I don't think he wants revenge, either. He's not necessarily vengeful, despite what those flashbacks might say. No... It's worse.

Fukuchi wants justice.

There's a few things that led me to forming this theory, so bear with me here...

I think these pages specifically are interesting because, while it doesn’t say much about his motives, we clearly see he has complicated views towards Fukuzawa. He offers Fukuzawa (him, specifically, not the ADA) protection from the government and the Hunting Dogs, and even acknowledges that he considers Fukuzawa a close friend in front of Atsushi. However, he is also upset or maybe even spiteful that Fukuzawa didn’t go to the battlefield with him like he wanted, and therefore didn’t have to experience all the horrors that Fukuchi did during the war. To some degree, he wants to make Fukuzawa suffer as he has (hence why he captured the ADA members and is displaying them for Fukuzawa to see).

Fukuchi also talks about angels a lot. Which does make sense considering he heads the Decay of the Angel, where ‘angels’ are more accurately Devas from Buddhist scriptures, which are mortal angels. The 5 stages of decay are what we witnessed at the beginning of this whole thing, when the DOA went through the first 4 stages with high-ranking politicians, and then Nikolai framed the Agency for the final stage with even more politicians as victims. The line about reincarnating is interesting to me, because it could be alluding to Fukuchi eliminating every nation and then creating the Humankind Army in its place as the ‘ideal reincarnation’, as there would be no more war. This, with Fukuchi, could be manifesting in the form of wanting to bring the world itself and these ‘angels’ to justice for their wrongdoings. But also enact justice on behalf of his fallen comrades who no longer have the ability to do so.

The entire theme of the Hunting Dogs is that they all have an extremely strong drive for justice, but all in their own ways. Currently in the story, however, almost none of them agree with Fukuchi anymore, and have either formed their own sense of justice that goes against Fukuchi, or has placed more value in something else over that justice.

Out of all the Hunting Dogs, the one who talks about justice the most is Tecchou. But we’ve already seen Tecchou find something worth putting above his sense of justice; Jouno, who he wants to find more than he wants to enact justice on Kenji for being a ‘terrorist’. Jouno also has his own form of justice, which is to protect the innocent above all else, as we see him declare as he defies Fukuchi in chapter 93 before being bitten.

Tachihara was the first to abandon his belief in justice and Fukuchi, stating that orders make him who he is as we see a panel of Mori telling Tachihara to destroy the enemy of the world (aka Fukuchi). Unfortunately, following orders apparently can’t save you from being stabbed from the past. And then blinded. And bitten. Tachi can’t catch a break or any story time even 2 years later

Teruko, who has already been told all of Fukuchi’s plans by the man himself as of chapter 103.5, still chooses to follow Fukuchi of her own free will, telling Atsushi that ‘justice is but a word’ in the face of that. I’m not sure if this means she’s no longer following a sense of justice at all, or if she just puts her will to follow Fukuchi to the end of the earth above it. Either way, she’s the only one still following Fukuchi in the Hunting Dogs at this point. However, she lets Atsushi go, which makes me think she’s resigned to letting Fukuchi carry out his plans but doesn’t want to get involved herself.

Fukuchi is the only one who believes in his own sense of justice above all else, and it could be what is fueling him to carry out whatever world-ending plans he has. There’s not many other explanations as to why a man like Fukuchi would be so determined to reach his goals, since we know for a fact that revenge is at least not the main contributor here. Not to mention, Atsushi calls Fukuchi a ‘representative of justice’ in chapter 83.5, and Fukuchi doesn’t correct him or mention it.

So besides another reference to angels, it’s interesting to see Fukuchi call the chairman ‘foolish’ for thinking he was doing all this to save the world. This adds to the idea that he doesn’t see salvation for the world as it is, which ties into the fact that he wants to remake the world under the Humankind Army. He doesn’t plan on saving the world as it is, nor does he plan on dominating it at the basic definition of the concept. He wants to carry out justice to destroy and then reincarnate the world under one army controlled by one man and one nation. It’s probably more accurate to say he wants to unite the entire world under the army more than under himself specifically, but it’s still debatable at this point.

Fukuchi’s mental state is also called into question a few times. We see Atsushi questioning it in chapter 91 during the ADA meeting in Lucy's room, and then obviously there’s the handful of flashbacks we get of the battlefield Fukuchi stood on, either surrounded by bodies or witnessing the end of one of his comrades, or standing before a crater where soldiers were most likely standing at one point. We also see during the two Fukus memory flashback that Fukuchi was scared he’d return from the war a changed person, which is why he wanted Fukuzawa to go with him. This is most likely what Fukuchi is referencing in chapter 103.5 when he tells Fukuzawa that ‘the person he knew before does not exist’, and that ‘the battlefield changed everything’. This mental state probably doesn’t help the whole destroying-and-rebirthing-the-world thing he has going on right now. Not to mention, in the memory in chapter 104, Fukuchi originally went into the military with the idea that his actions were ones that saved lives, and that war was not the enemy of everything on earth. He genuinely believed he could protect his comrades in war. But when he couldn’t save anyone, his views changed drastically to what they are now, which is shockingly similar to what Fukuzawa said in opposition to Fukuchi in the memory: that the only things found at war were actions that took away lives.

Conclusion/TLDR: Fukuchi doesn’t want revenge or to dominate the world by himself, he wants to destroy the governments and nations of the world and then create the Humankind Army to begin the reincarnation of one unified nation under that army. All for the sake of preventing war from ever breaking out again, and therefore enacting his delusional form of justice upon the negligent nations that allowed war to happen in the first place. This is also justice served for his fallen comrades that beg him to take revenge.

[emistiel]

WHA chapter 82...... i can't take any more stress 😭😭 too many injuries already i need to know she's okay NOW

[dzthenerd490]

File: Beetlejuice

SCP#: AJF

Code Name: The Hitchhikers Guide to the Afterlife

Object Class: OVM

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-AJF-House is to be allowed to remain in the custody of the Deetz family though in exchange every week a Foundation researcher is to roam the house and scan the frequencies and wavelengths for any changes. Due to the remoteness of the area and minimal chances of containment breach due to the nature of the anomaly no further containment procedures have been made. 

Furthermore, if any updates to SCP-AJF-Guide are made, Foundation staff are to be notified immediately.

Description: SCP-AJF is the only known connection to one of the most interesting and often confusing forms of the afterlife. Within SCP-AJF are the souls of deceased couple Barbara and Adam Maitland. As is typical of those who have died a tragic and untimely death, they have become ghosts and are bound to the house. However, unlike normal ghosts who simply can’t leave if either of the Maitlands try they will be teleported to SCP-AJF-Saturn which is a hell like afterlife that exists on the surface of Saturn where there are endless deserts, dust storms, and giant sand worms that attack anything they encounter.

Though the Foundation only has the Maitlands words to confirm this, it was revealed this afterlife was really after an experiment on Saturn. Please see Addendum X-82 for details.

***

Addendum X-82

The following is a recording of an experiment conducted on the surface of Saturn with Dr. Sky as the head researcher. A D-Class was sent to Saturn in a drop pod, though unknown to him he was drugged with a lethal dose killing him as soon as he landed. This was done to see if not only could contact the dead be established but to see if the planet people were on affected the afterlife they went to. Horrifically it was proven a success

Begin Recording

Dr. Sky: D-56392, can you hear me?

D-56392: I hear you doc but uh... where am I... there's nothing but desert here.

Dr. Sky: Are- Are you already out the pod?

D-56392: Uh... Doc there is no pod here... How did I even get here?

Dr. Sky: Uh, we're sending another pod to get, you until then try to wander around a little and see what you can find.

D-56392: Uh, sure doc but this is super freaky. It's like an entirely different world... holy shit I can see moons in the sky. Doc where the fuck am I?

Dr. Sky: You're on the surface of Saturn D-56392.

D-56392: Wha... No that's impossible. I should be dead. I'm not a scientist doc but I know no one can survive on-

Dr. Sky: ... D-56392? Are you alright?

D-56392: AAAAAH! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

Dr. Sky: D-56392! What is going on are you alright?

D-56392: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW ITS SOME KIND OF BIG FUCKING WORM! ITS TRYING TO EAT ME! GET ME OFF THIS GODDAMN PLANET DOC.

Dr. Sky: ... So that confirms. SCP-AJF-Saturn, thank you for your services D-56392. Disconnect the connection and turn off the device.

D-56392: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU-? AAAA-!

Dr. Sky: Sorry, D-56392... maybe next time don't place explosives in a children's hospital.

Recording Ends

*** 

The Maitlands also possess SCP-AJF-Guide which is a book that allows them to both understand and go to different but organized sections of the afterlife including SCP-AJF-Office. SCP-AJF-Office is a strange world within the afterlife where managers and office workers can assist, assign, and escort souls to different afterlives or even allow them reincarnation. However, each one is given a waiting ticket for how long they must wait for such assistance and thus how long they will remain ghosts. It is possible for souls to get shortened time or be allowed to choose the afterlife you go to or even be allowed to roam freely in the world but a deal must be made. As is typical in regarding ghosts, spirits, and demon anomalies these deals often include trading the souls of the living, altering the form of their souls, and various other odd and horrific deals. 

The one who seems to have the most leverage and experience over these deals is SCP-AJF-Beetlejuice. SCP-AJF-Beetlejuice is an undead entity that somehow is able to travel through SCP-AJF and other afterlives connected to it freely. He takes on the appearance of someone with rotten and pale skin, green hair, sunken eyes, a white and black striped suit, and always smiles. SCP-AJF can be summoned when you say his name three times and always wants to make a deal especially with those in the living. SCP-AJF-Beetlejuice is more of a trickster than anything, but all Foundation staff are advised to never mistake his carefree attitude as he is anything but benevolent. 

SCP-AJF-Beetlejuice originally commonly tormented the Maitlands and the Deetz in hopes of making deals with them, especially the daughter of the Deetz. He wanted to marry her in hopes of having a connection with the living so that he could spread his chaos there as well. Thankfully this failed and the Maitlands rescued the daughter of the Deetz leading to a loving peace between the two families. Originally the two families were at conflict over who owns the house but now they live together in oddly heartwarming harmony.

Though SCP-AJF-Beetlejuice still wanders the afterlife, it is believed he is trying to gain ever more power to retaliate against the Maitlands and Deetz. It is because of SCP-AJF-Beetlejuice alone that SCP-AJF as a whole is labeled object Class OVM.

SCP-AJF as a whole was discovered in 1988 when the Deetz tried to present the house as a horror attraction during the Maitlands first attempts at scaring them away in order to live a peaceful afterlife. This led to things escalating between the two families and eventually calling on SCP-AJF-Beetlejuice for help. They quickly learned the hard way that he was only interested in helping himself. According to testimonies from both families he was defeated when Barbara managed to get a sandworm from the SCP-AJF-Saturn to devour him, banishing him to SCP-AJF-Office. 

The escalating chaos released lots of paranormal wavelengths from the house, alerting the Foundation immediately.

Foundation agents only arrived after the disaster happened and peace was made between the Deetz and Maitland families. The Foundation has since scrapped all the Deetz’s plans to turn the area into an attraction but have allowed them to keep the house. In exchange the Foundation is entitled to all information the families learn in regards to the afterlives SCP-AJF is connected to like Office and Saturn and will do weekly scans to see how close SCP-AJF is to our reality. It is with hope the Foundation will one day understand how the afterlife works and maybe one day connect to one. 

.

SCP: Horror Movie Files Hub

[writing-to-survive]

#82

"Wha-what are you doing?"

My voice comes out shaky and slurred. Black dots blur in my vision. I fall on the couch, sinking into it. My drink spills on the floor, staining the carpet.

"I'm sorry, A." My friend, B, gently says. They place heavy cuffs on my wrists and ankles. "This is just precaution. Everything is going to be okay."

"Why? I thought w-we were friends," I sputter out.

"We are! It's just that I have orders and—"

"Orders? From who?" I quietly interrupt.

B tries to explain, but a new voice overpowers theirs. Someone opens the front door to my apartment. Others follow inside, I'm not sure how many.

"Did you get the kid, B?" A voice roughly asks.

"Yeah! Let them pass out before you load them up," B yells. They turn to me, voice lower. "It's going to be okay. Once you're secure and awake, I'll explain everything."

My voice gives out, and my eyes roll in the back of my head. I get once last glimpse of B's pitiful face before darkness engulfs me.

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 116. brb x oc

a/n: so good news is im seeing some changes in the app version of tumblr. PC is back to normal??? Anyway, hope it stays that way...also I know I said smut for this chapter but my mind went somewhere else entirely uwu. Reblogs and comments are so welcome! Thanks for liking my fic!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none.

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64/65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84/85/86/87/88

/89/90/91/92/93/94/95/96/97/98/99/100/101/102/103/104/105

/115

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-

“Bah bah bah!” Nicole was still bouncing a bit on Beatrice’s arms as they get inside the house, sleep nowhere in sight, “Bah bah bah!” followed by the monkey twinkling as she shakes it, vigorously, so much that the dogs turn to look up at her curiously.

Beatrice smiles before kissing their daughter’s head, the little girl still moving and wriggling, “My God, did your nonni give you sugar or something? You are so wriggly tonight!” she hears the sound of the doors being locked followed by Rooster’s grunt as he places Marcus’ gifts by the staircase. She wanted to help, she even voiced that she could but Rooster was relentless in saying that she should just keep those ‘soft hands of hers’ holding up Nicole.

His footsteps soon entered the kitchen, the sound of fabric ruffling followed and another heavy sigh left his lips. She turns around just in time to see him rolling up the sleeves to his elbows and unbuttoning the shirt even more to reveal his defined chest for her eyes to see…but she held back the commentary when she noticed his face, “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” he rolls his neck, a ‘crack! crack!’ echoing in the kitchen as he does so, “I should’ve just done that tomorrow.”

“I told you I could help.”

“Listen,supermodel.” he smirks when she blushes, “You can’t be busy picking your gifts, that’s my job.It’s in the ‘Bradley Nicholas Bradshaw’ contract.”

“Wha-since when?? I don’t remember signing that up anywhere.”

Rooster just laughs, dropping his head for a few seconds then lifting it back up as he approaches his girls, hugging Beatrice from behind to kiss the back of her neck, ‘Ah,gorgeous, you don’t have to sign that. It comes with the whole package.”

Beatrice giggles in front of him, which makes Nicole laugh as well, turning her body to look at her father with her chubby cheeks appearing even fuller because of that adorable grin, “How about you,Nikki? You aren’t sleepy?” Nicole just touched his chin, tapping the skin there then gently petting his mustache, all the while with her eyes wide and mouth parted open with pure amazement.

“I think she’s just excited to see us again,” Bea smiles, kissing Nicole’s cheek, “She’s so happy, aren’t you, honey?” more monkey shaking, more noises and more bouncing from Nicole, “God, she’s getting so big.”

“Wel she is six months old,gorgeous.”

“I know but…” Bea tsks, “She can stay a baby a while longer, you know? I know I wouldn’t mind it at all…would you?”

“Nah,I wouldn’t.” 

Ah, the fear that every parent had to go through: their children growing up and getting bigger in a blink of an eye.

Both of them could finally understand that.

Nicole kept on babbling, this time her focus was on her mother’s necklace and braid, well,mainly on Beatrice’s braid. Her pupils enlarged so much Bea was worried they might pop out of her eyes, but Nicole was so enraptured by the hairstyle, it was absolutely precious.

Probably because she had never seen her hair like that before, Beatrice usually let it loose or in a bun or even in a ponytail and it was so strange for a six months old baby that she had to touch it…several times, maybe even nom it-

“Okay, okay, not going to eat mommy’s hair.” It was Rooster who stops it, gently pulling the strands of hair from Nicole’s mouth and picking her up from Beatrice’s arms, kissing her cheeks when she whined in disagreement, “Well, missy, you can’t do anything you want, especially eat hair…and while mommy’s hair smells delicious, it’s not edible.” and he pokes her little tummy, just enough to make her giggle and hug his neck, “She’s not sleepy at all.”

“She’s not.”

“Well…that complicates things.”

Beatrice arched her brow and tilted her head towards her husband, smirking at him with her arms crossing, “Oh?”

“Yeah…there were things I had planned but…I can pause them because of my baby girl.” he smiles, lifting Nicole over his head and letting out an ‘ah!’ to match hers, bringing her down to kiss her cheeks, “I can wait.”

“You should,because she still needs to take a bath. And so am I.” Beatrice says, running her hands through her bangs, “Maybe the bath will make her sleepy, you know she loves water, it can tire her out.”

“i guess.” Rooster replies, gently holding that minuscule hand to bring it to his lips, kissing the small fingers and then the tip of her button nose, “I mean, but I wouldn’t mind if she stayed up a little while longer…we can watch more cartoons.” 

“Ah!”

“See? She agrees.”

Nicole had him in her little palm and Beatrice loved it. Because whatever Rooster had in mind, clearly it was the same thing he had when he looked at her during the party, was long gone and spending time with Nicole was much better. “Well, let’s wash her up first, then see how she gets.’ Beatrice says as she gets closer,kissing his jawline, “How does that sound?”

“Sounds good, doesn’t it,Nikki?” and he bounces her in his arm, her happy giggle echoing around the room, “Do you want to set it up?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind.” because she just wanted to see the two of them having fun together. Beatrice kisses him one final time before she walks up the stairs to their bedroom, inhaling happily as she recalls everything that happened that night.

It was a great night.

And her anxiety sickness was nowhere in sight, maybe it was good she didn’t feel like drinking alcohol, it’d only make her feel worse.

Now all they had to do was celebrate Christmas and then go to Virginia before the New Year! Simple!

She really wanted Brad to have another good time while in the holidays, she knew how much he liked it and now with Nicole he’d want her to enjoy the celebrations just as much! Beatrice bites her lower lip, running her thumb over her wedding band as she thinks about his Christmas gift…it was a bit of a callback, she had to admit, but now that she was getting back to Tiff’s class, she figured why not?

Plus, it’d certainly make him feel…energized before their trip.

Beatrice shakes her head with a smile, “But that can wait.” she whispers, “I need to set everything for Nikki.” she disappears into their daughter’s nursery to get one of her onesies, only for a sudden growl coming from her stomach interrupt her, “Wait…did I eat?” she blinks trying to recall if she snacked on something or just had drinks during the night, too excited to eat?

She was too excited to eat because she remembers eating something small and then ntohing else.

And she was starving. Another thing in the way of Rooster’s plan.

She pursed her lips into a little pout, holding the onesie to her chest and turning around just in time to see Rooster watching her from the door, “Hi gorgeous.” he smirks, “Got her outfit?”

“I did.” she pauses, “Roos I don’t think I had dinner.”

“...what?”

“I-I think I was too excited to eat.”

Rooster’s smile turns into a worried frown, “Gorgeous…you can’t do that. Come on,supermodel, you have to eat.”

Beatrice’s cheeks flushed just a bit, “I know…I-I was just really overwhelmed…can we order something after? I-If that’s okay?”

“Of course it is,why wouldn’t it be?” he asks, kissing her forehead when he gets closer, “Baby…I can wait, believe me,I can control myself…when I have to.” she laughs against him, letting him kiss her head again “After Nikki’s bath we are going to order something and you’ll eat.”

“I’m sorry…”

“It was a crazy night, I know.” he smiles, “But don’t do that, pretty girl, worries me so much…okay?”

“Okay.”

–

They genuinely thought that Nicole was going to be sleepy after the bath, she usually did, but something tonight only made the little baby even more active. So now they were all in the living room, sitting on the couch, Nicole was being held against Rooster’s chest and the two of them ate pizza.

And watched cartoons.

At midnight.

He couldn’t wish for anything better, especially since the dogs were lying around the couch, watching the tv just like they were, Eleanor sometimes sniffed the pizza but Jolene ‘boofed’ in warning so the pup lied back down. Rooster looks down at Nicole, just in time to see her looking right at the cheesy slice of pizza, mimicking the way he ate by opening and closing her mouth, “Sorry,birdie. But you can’t eat this yet, you got no teeth.”

“Ah!” she sounded upset!

“Hey,come on now,” he raises the slice higher when she tries to reach it, “No, mama already gave you food.I know it’s not what you wanted but it is what you can have for now.” she made another indignant sound, “I know,I hate it too.”

Beatrice watched the interaction with one hand holding her head up, her cheeks curving into a smile as Rooster talked to Nicole as if she was ten years old, no baby talking at all. It was the cutest thing ever, “You know,” she begins, “I think this is a great way to end the night.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, us, together, watching tv and having pizza? It’s amazing.”

Rooster swallows his bite to give Beatrice another grin, “Well…yeah it is pretty good. Core memories for Nikki,” he lifts his slice again when he sees Nikki’s hand moving upwards, “And for us.”

“Yeah…” her stomach was still fussy but she was eating slowly, she knew it could be nausea from something but she couldn’t pinpoint what. Maybe the whole excitement,maybe that was too much for her to handle and her stomach was taking the toll of it, “I like it…and thanks for joining me too.I know it’s late…”

“I never say no to pizza,” again his hand gets even higher and Nicole’s high ‘aah!’ reaches his ears, “And spending time with my family.”

Beatrice’s smile is nearing hurtful by how stretched her lips are, even if she’s still chewing her own slice. She sighs softly, looking back at the tv with her brows low, feeling another hint of nausea coming up in her stomach but she tried to hold it back as best as she could, lying down just a bit more on the couch.

She felt Nicole’s little hands tapping her bare calf, then her daughter crawled over to her stomach, “Nikki!” she did this without any of them noticing and that little girl had such a good balance she didn’t even rolled to the side, “Baby girl, don’t do that, I know you are strong but-”

“Ah!” she slaps her hand on her mother’s chest a few times before dropping her head on top, huffing angrily.

Beatrice looks over at Rooster, who’s still chewing his pizza, “She’s mad at you.” that made him stop and look over at his wife in pure horror, “Because you didn’t give her a bite.”

“She can’t even bite!”

“She doesn’t know that.” she didn’t want to show how Nikki’s weight, as minimal as it was, was making her stomach feel even more nauseous, she just adjusted herself on the couch while holding Nicole close to her chest, kissing her brown head, “You can’t be mad at daddy, you can’t eat grown up food baby girl.”  she sits up a bit more, “Don’t be silly, oh Roos, she’s pouting!”

When she looks up so is her husband.

“Roos…”

“I don’t want her mad at me!”

“Brad,she’s a baby.” she says sweetly, holding up Nicole so she looks over at Rooster, “She doesn’t hate you, you know that.” Beatrice scoots over to where he was so the two most important people in her life could look at each other, “She doesn’t get it.”

Bradley’s eyebrows were low as he frowned, looking back down at Nicole whose light green eyes only appeared lighter because of the light above their heads, “Maybe she’s just sleepy.I know some babies get fussy…and it is pretty late.”

“It is.” Beatrice agrees, clearing her throat when the nausea hit again. Stronger this time, “Oh wow.”

“What?”

She couldn’t hide it now, “I feel a bit sick.” she says, “Like my stomach is messed up, I think.”

Rooster’s pouting face disappeared and turned into worry, “What are you feeling?”

“Just…a bit nauseous, that’s all.” she tries to distract herself by bouncing Nicole in her arms, the little girl’s pout disappearing as her eyes struggled to keep open because it was obvious she was tired now and her anger was because of sleep “I think it’s because I was so excited tonight. Has to be.”

Bradley’s eyebrows furrow and he frowns a bit more, looking down at her stomach then back at her, “Baby…can you eat?” he nods to the half eaten slice, “You barely ate anything.”

“Oh no,I will…I just need a few seconds.”

Rooster grabs Nicole from Beatrice’s arms and tilts his head at his wife, “Do you want to lie down a bit?” she shakes her head negatively, “Do you want tea?”

“I…no, it’s fine, it’s just hunger.” she didn't know if it was hunger but it did feel that way. It felt just like that time she ate chili and felt bad for hours, it was extremely similar. Beatrice knew there was something off but she couldn’t pinpoint what…was she allergic to something now?? Maybe tomatoes? Was she allergic to tomatoes? “I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

She nods with a small smile, “I just need to relax a bit…that’s all Roos.”

“If you are sure…”

“I am.”

But her husband knew her and he knew that if she felt bad it’d take some time for her to say it to him, which he hated but he couldn’t force it out of her. He sighed, kissing her head before he stood up, “I’m going to put Nikki in her crib,” he looked down at their daughter who was now peacefully snoozing against his chest, “I’ll be right back,okay?”

Beatrice nods with a little smile,watching him walk away and up the stairs, leaving her and her raging thoughts to herself. Why would she feel this way? She didn’t eat anything strange, she’s eating pizza for crying out loud! She chews her lower lip, trying to remember if there was any way she could really be developing some sort of allergic reaction to food.

She gently rubs her hands on her stomach, the nausea coming and going…strangely it reminded Bea of the time during Nicole’s pregnancy. Although the nausea was so much stronger than and–

Wait.

“No.” she whispers, “There’s no way, I took my birth control shots.” she could feel the anxiety rise up, “This is not what I’m thinking, it can’t be. There’s absolutely no way it’s that…there’s no way.” she did take her birth control shots, she remembers going to the clinic and seeing the lady there, the same lady as before.

She remembers the shot, she remembers feeling down in the dumps for a few days. “I’m just imagining things,” she whispers, “This is nothing more than a bad stomach day. That’s all.” but she continues rubbing her stomach, “...that’s all.”

[sun-lit-roses]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tags @curator-on-ao3 and @emonydeborah! I apologize for how long it's taken me to respond 💛

I'm so late to this, I have no idea who's already done it. If you haven't yet, please, please consider yourself tagged - and tag me in your response so that I can read your answers! (Actually if you have done it already, also link me so I can read your answers. These are fun questions with bonus fic recs so I'd like to see them all!)

Anyway, I got a little rambly, so I'll put in a cut to not murder anyone's dash 😁

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 82.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 397,560.

3. What fandoms do you write for? I've been primarily writing Star Trek (Strange New Worlds and Voyager) lately, with a dash of The Librarians and Leverage.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Fringe Benefits (SNW) - My beloved monument to ridiculousness where I approach the totally canon subject of Chris Pike's horse skills via Number One's hair.

October 2373 (Voyager)- My magnum opus! The one time I've managed to achieve completion of an October prompt list - five of them. In one coherent (ish) fic. Granted, it did take me until December... but the point is that I finished it! It follows a very eventful and occasionally random month aboard the Starship Voyager, where they have to deal with imprisonment, alien attacks, diplomatic meetings, and Kathryn's inability to talk about her feelings.

For the Captain Who Has Everything: A Prixin Story (Voyager) - Look. You can't just give me three delightful misfits for ONLY ONE EPISODE and not expect me to adopt them as my own. SO this is what happened next for the little Good Shepherd flock, where 'what happened next' is shenanigans to set up their Captain with her First Officer as a gesture of gratitude.

Growing Pains (SNW) - Aw, one of my early Chris and Una fics! This is one of the set I wrote while the first season was just airing weekly - hard to believe that was almost two years ago 😲 This one was the aftermath of Una 'I'm just fine-ing' her way into emergency surgery and Chris letting her know that there were things up with which he would not put - top of the list being losing his Number One.

Command Advice (SNW) - Another of the early SNW set! This was my 'spicier' take on the resulting conversation between Chris and Una after she learns about her Where Fun Goes to Die nickname. In one version, they have a very serious conversation about Starfleet principles. In *this* version, they're less serious. Also naked.

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! Or at least I try. I love and cherish every comment, but I tend to run (very) behind on responding and have to play the game of 'is it weird to reply to a comment this late?'

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? My very first fic ever! Actually I think it might be my only fic with an angsty ending. I guess I got it all out of my system early. That one is Wednesday, a Sanctuary fic where Helen has a very sad day.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Literally everything else. I can't even pick out of my collection of sappiness.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, there's very little I would not be willing to at least try writing! Up to now I think I've written at least mildly smutty M/F, F/F, and F/M/M sexcapades and/or BDSM. I'm working my way around to some F/F/M for SNW if I could get the three of them to cooperate.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I think I've only written one crossover and it was for SNW/The Librarians, bringing about a meeting between Eve Baird and Una Chin-Riley, which we would have in a fair and just universe.

Wait, I take that back! I also had a little snippet on Tumblr where Hawkeye, BJ, Jonathan, and Ardeth meet up, because The Mummy/MASH is... certainly a combo. Actually, I think I also had a snippet of Gomez Addams meeting Hawkeye and BJ? What is it about MASH?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Also not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Kind of? The Discord crowdsourced the plot to a ridiculously hilarious fic and I wrote a bit of it for fun, but I'm not sure if that counts? Co-writing does sound like a good time, though!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Voyager! The happiest little ship in the Delta Quadrant 🚀

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have a lot of bits and pieces on my hard drive that will never be finished and released into the Ao3 wilds - the plot didn't work out/was barely a plot, I've moved on from the fandom, I was trapped in a fever dream of my nieces playing Frozen on repeat, blacked out, and woke up to 3 chapters dealing with the socio-political ramifications of Elsa decamping and Anna appointing the prince of another land in charge rather than Arendelle's Privy Council. Anyway.

The WIPs I have posted, though, I fully intend to finish at some point! It may take a while and it might not be my original planned ending, but they haunt me. So one day I will have to put them to rest. Possibly with a 2x4, tarp, and shovel.

16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think I'm pretty good at getting into the character's voice. I hope so, at least; I spend a lot of time on it! Also, humor, although that one is objective, of course.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Commas. Clearly.

Structurally, it varies per fic, but I have a habit of running thin on plot. I start strong at A, want to get to B, but the middle gets kind of wander-y. This also leads to me sometimes stalling mid-project if I get distracted or pulled away - hence my current three WIPs. Though it doesn't help that the past six months have sucked on letting me have much free time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? If it was short, easy dialogue in Spanish or French I might be able to swing it. Otherwise, I would need to phone a friend.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Sanctuary!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? This is a hard one. I love them all for different reasons, some of which have more to do with the time I was writing them than with the actual contents. Reluctance was my first multi-chapter fic ever back in the FFN days, so that seems like a pretty good candidate. I learned so much while writing that fic!

[mysteriouslee]

Day 1

(Anticipation)

lee!Greg ler!Rodrick (I just finished chapter 82 of dysfunctional perspective).

"GREG YOU FUCKING NUMBNUT"yelled Rodrick as he rumaged the house for his little brother. Greg went into the basment and closed the door, stupidly not locking it. It was dark and quiet, too quiet. If his brother doesn't kill him, he'll have quite a story to tell.Greg began to take a sigh of relief but that was when he heard a yell.

"GREG, WHEN I FIND YOU, IM GONNA WRECK YOU TILL YOU CRY" said Rodrick.

Gregory wondered why his eldest brother couldn't just say tickle, but then again he didn't understand his brother for the most part.

Suddenly his mom came in. Shit he thought.

"Hey sweetie, whatcha doing in here,please come out. That was when Rodrick spotted him. They stared at eachother and Rodrick worded out to him.

"I'll get you later"

A week had past and Greg had been unusually jumpy, Rowley thought it was weird but he didn't need to know.

Greg went home that afternoon, expecting a jumpscare or a random tackle, but nothing....

He went to storm in to Rodrick's room and as he busted open the door, Rodrick looked as if he had been expecting him.

"Wha-"muttered Gregory before he was cut off.

"What gives, you ask?"said Rodrick as he sat down in a chair like a villain from a movie.

"Yeah but..."Greg was once cut off again.

"It's simple science, my wimpy sibling. I made you wait for it. I knew drawing it out would drive you absolutely insane and you knew that I would be out for revenge after what you did" said Rodrick.

(It's up to interpretation what Greg did)

Greg stumbled back and looked for is get away but he literally walked right into Rodrick's hand. Rodrick pounced on him.

"MOM!" yelled Greg.

"Isn't this what you've been waiting for? Mom left 20 monutes ago so you have no where to run" said Rodrick.

Greg gulped, his demises finally upon him.

Rodrick blew raspberries into Greg's stomach and Gregory screamed loud enough to Frank who was in the living room.

"Shit" said both boys in unison.

[forestshadow-wolf]

Blossoms of Love (Chapter 11)

Restless Mornings

Pairing: soap/ghost

Tags: hurt/comfort, angst, hanahaki

Ao3 link || Chapter 1 || Chapter 10

Soap wakes in the morning to the gentle but firm nudging of a boot in his armpit, and it feels as if he’d just closed his eyes. A groan escapes him as he tries to roll away from the man. Someone chuckles above him and he wants to flip them the bird, but it isn’t worth the hassle, he lets out a tired groan instead.

“C’mon mate, time to get up.”Gaz laughs at him. His eyes feel glued shut

“A’ay ’n’ bile yer heid.” he pried his eyes open. Gaz is crouched over him now, shoving at his shoulder with his hand. He huffs a breath, knocking the brit’s hand away as he goes to rub the sleep from his eyes. Gaz stands to go help the others as he heaves himself up.

Soap lets himself fall back onto the bedroll as soon as Gaz is more than a few paces away. It seems that his eyes had just fallen closed when he feels fingers prod at him again.

“Mmm wha…? ‘M up Gaz. ‘m up” he whines. The fingers remain incessant, nudging at him harder. Hard enough that eventually he does push himself up, though his eyes remain shut from the world.

“Up, Johnny.” He’s a bit caught off guard to hear Ghost’s gruff morning voice over his shoulder. “Up or I’m gonna sit on you.” Soap huffs at him, making no notion to move, far far too willing to test Ghost’s limits in his current state.

Admittedly he shouldn’t have been surprised when he felt all of Ghost’s 82 kilograms land itself on his side, but he was anyway. His eyes shot open and all of the air in his lungs flee out of his mouth, as he tried to shove Ghost off of him. To no avail.

“Ger aff meh, ye muckle bas.” he gasped, still trying to push the man off him.

“English, Mactavish.” the smile evident in his voice.

“‘Said git yer fat arse aff meh.'' He wheezed. Ghost chuckled as he removed himself, pulling Soap up with him.

“C’mon, Price made coffee.” Ghost called behind him, walking away.

“Thank god for Price. And him not being a tea heathen.” he muttered under his breath as he tied up the bedroll and set it by Price’s pack.

When he finally sat down by the fire he was silently handed a cup of coffee and a paper plate of MRE scrambled eggs and breakfast sausage. He wasn’t complaining, he was just happy to be allowed the luxury of coffee. He’s not sure when the silent agreement that nobody talks to him before coffee came into place, but damn is he glad that they all agreed seeing as how he’s reduced to mere grunts this morning.

Halfway through his cup of coffee he hasn’t even started on his food, just letting the warmth in his hands nurse him awake, when someone sits beside him. He doesn’t look up, giving a hum to acknowledge their presence. It’s more range than a grunt but he still hasn’t quite worked his way up to words yet. A skeleton gloved hand reaches over and snatches a bit of egg from his plate, and before he knows it there’s a wrist gripped in one hand and his coffee held over his head in the other. In the moment it takes for him to realize he’s still snarling at Ghost the man has busted out laughing, still holding the piece of egg. He takes a breath, lets himself relax, and takes a sip from his mug as Ghost pops the food into his grinning mouth. It’s only then that he realizes that Ghost has his mask rolled up. Whether it’s still from last night or if he pulled it up just to steal his food is a toss in the air.

“Don’t steal from morning Soap. noted.” Ghost teases, miming writing himself a note. Soap grunts him an apology halfheartedly. “We’re gonna  finish packing up here, then head to the original drop point. If we can get there before sunset we’ll set up comms with Laswell.” Soap nods along thoughtfully, chewing on a piece of his breakfast, trying to get his brain back into working condition. A thought drags itself into his head, he swallows his food thickly.

“Sorry. ‘Bout touchin’ yer mask. Last night.” he forces his first real words of the morning out.

“‘S fine. I’m not too worried ‘bout it.” Soap stops for a moment to look at Ghost, inquisitively and with a hint of concern. “If you’re really worried about it, buy me a drink next time we’re out, yeah?” Ghost chuckles. Soap nods, just now thinking about how weird it is for Ghost to be a morning person. Not that he didn’t expect it, just that he didn’t think anybody could be in such high spirits or energy this early in the morning.

--------------

@checkerscharlie @halb-nichts @heyitsropi @trekkie-in-space @lavenderstem @toasterduck23

[the-east-art]

I posted 1,473 times in 2022

1,207 posts created (82%)

266 posts reblogged (18%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@the-east-art

@children-of-atlas

@browniefox

@stuckinthewrongworld

@the-east-hunter

I tagged 639 of my posts in 2022

#the easts ocs - 112 posts

#pokemon - 93 posts

#submas - 71 posts

#ingo - 70 posts

#loz - 48 posts

#emmet - 48 posts

#hollow knight - 44 posts

#deltarune - 38 posts

#wha - 37 posts

#witch hat atelier - 37 posts

Longest Tag: 121 characters

#it ain’t gonna be tears of the kingdom because i have a whole conspiracy theory about when they’ll give more news and why

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

1hrsubmas prompt Goodnight with the telepathy only one way au

1,205 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

#4

Thinking about @hoofpeet s twin telepathy only goes one way au except it’s the other way.

Imagine knowing someone out there is worried and searching for you but you can’t comfort them or tell them you’re okay or where you are

1,433 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

#3

See the full post

1,897 notes - Posted February 28, 2022

#2

See the full post

2,101 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Shelter from the storm

3,265 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Lmao submas sweep

[charmspoint]

I posted 7,995 times in 2022

That's 1,189 more posts than 2021!

1,471 posts created (18%)

6,524 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@megacarapa

@claraschaos

@senorita-patita

@lilleeboi

@smallnico

I tagged 4,039 of my posts in 2022

Only 49% of my posts had no tags

#lucy blabs - 1,054 posts

#art - 785 posts

#jjk - 781 posts

#answered - 204 posts

#satosugu - 186 posts

#ask game - 103 posts

#witch hat atelier - 93 posts

#talentless nana - 79 posts

#megacarapa - 66 posts

#anon - 60 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#mainly saying 'huhhuhuhuhu the aliens did it' is literally the most boring way to explain ancient people doing something we cant understand

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I love denji so much, you look into his eyes and there's nothing going on in there

437 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#4

WHA fandom is like: Here's a great manga that deals with teaching children and respects them as people and has wonderful art and handles delicate topics respectfully and has interesting thoughts about the world and the what and how needs changing as well as a well developed world and deep and complex characters also if all of that doesnt pique your interest here is qifrey he's a slut

938 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

#3

The acearo scam

951 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

#2

I love Yuta cuz he looks like just some guy. Like he's literally said to be the second strongest sorcerer, his cursed energy is bigger than Satoru's, he has stupid op technique, his dead gf is big fuck off monster but he's just some guy. Satoru out there rocking his specialest boy peepers but Yuta is just like your acquaintance dave from the anxiety support group.

2,344 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So fuckin funny how they keep comforting ppl who scored low but nobody said shit about switzerland

3,029 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[thunder-jolt]

I posted 575 times in 2022

That's 575 more posts than 2021!

295 posts created (51%)

280 posts reblogged (49%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@anonymous-person-in-hellhole

@sundove88

@robintherobot

@get-outside-nekomatsu

I tagged 477 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#reblog - 170 posts

#cookie run - 118 posts

#cookie run ovenbreak - 87 posts

#based on vine - 56 posts

#comic studio - 50 posts

#league of legends - 49 posts

#cookie run kingdom - 47 posts

#cookie run oc - 46 posts

#sun wukong - 44 posts

#hellboy - 38 posts

Longest Tag: 98 characters

#anonymous-person-from-hellhole is my supportive best friend alongside other friends i made on here

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Drama...

The Wukongs (Reborn, Hero Is Back, New Gods Nezha Reborn, LEGO Monkie Kid, etc.): *fighting their enemies in their worlds* *screaming* *roaring* *so much action*

Peach Cookie & Plum Cookie: *trying to understand the history while having the Great Sage's circlet* And I think to myself... Wat da fuck?

65 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

#4

(Another gift for @theweirdhybrid) Who Broke It?

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Reborn): *standing next to a broken teapot* So? Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just want to know...

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Hero Is Back): *sigh* I did it, I-

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Reborn): No, no you didn't. King?

Sun Wukong (LEGO Monkie Kid): D-Don't look at me! *looks at 2009 Sun Wukong* Look at Lucky.

Sun Wukong (Monkey King 2009): Wha-? I didn't break it!

Sun Wukong (LEGO Monkie Kid): Weird, how'd you know it was broken?

Sun Wukong (Monkey King 2009): Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken...

Sun Wukong (LEGO Monkie Kid): *squints* Suspicious.

Sun Wukong (Monkey King 2009): No! It's NOT!

Sun Wukong (Havoc in Heaven 1964): If it matters (probably not), but Sunny's the last one out of all of us.

Sun Wukong (JTTW Legend of the Monkey King 1999): Pepa! I don't even drink that brand of tea!

Sun Wukong (Havoc in Heaven 1964): If so, then what were you doing in the tearoom earlier?

Sun Wukong (JTTW Legend of the Monkey King 1999): I was trying to get into those Peach-flavored mooncakes we saved from our trips to the festivals! Everyone knows that, Pepa-!

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Hero Is Back): Okay, okay, let's not fight, I broke it, let me pay for it, Sage...

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Reborn): NO! WHO BROKE IT!

Sun Wukong (Monkey King 2009): *looks over to Nezha Reborn Sun Wukong* Sage? Uncle's been AWFULLY quiet.

Sun Wukong (New Gods Nezha Reborn): *offended* REALLY?!

Sun Wukong (Monkey King 2009): Yes, really!

*The Wukongs argue and argue*

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Hero Is Back): *with a face of horrified concern*

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Reborn): *looks towards the audience* I broke it. Burned my hand, so I smashed it. I predict ten minutes from now on; they'll cut each other's tails with war paint on their faces, and a pig head on a stick. *looks back to the Wukongs* *looks back to the audience* Good. Getting a little chummy around here...

82 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

#3

Feelings...

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Hero Is Back): *to Monkey King Reborn Sun Wukong* Ever wanted to talk about your feelings to me?

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Reborn): No.

*silence*

Sun Wukong (LEGO Monkie Kid): I do!

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Hero Is Back): I know, Lego me.

Sun Wukong (LEGO Monkie Kid): I feel lonely.

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Hero Is Back): I know.

98 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

#2

(for @theweirdhybrid) Strange...

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Reborn): *stares at cat*

Cat: *stares back*

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Hero Is Back): *asking Nezha Reborn Sun Wukong* Hey "uncle", what's Sage doing?

Sun Wukong (New Gods Nezha Reborn): Shh, shh, he's focusing the cat's trust, Dasheng...

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Hero Is Back): *looks at Nezha Reborn Sun Wukong* Wha-?

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Reborn): *still stares at cat* *reaches to pet*

Cat: *gets petted* *pats Sage's nose*

Sun Wukong (Monkey King Reborn): You're my friend now, strange creature. *picks up cat* *leaves*

136 notes - Posted June 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

190 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

HERE IT IS!

[blub-blub-bish]

so apparently, I’ve been doings double digits maths kinda wrong? so today me and my family was on a trip to my grandparents house, and idk how but the conversation ended up to trying to count my dads age in months. And my dad is 41, so it’s just 41x12. Not that hard

My brain just went “ so if 10x41 is 410 and 2x41 is 82, that means 41x12=410+82 so-“ and my mom went “ wha- you need to separate the 41. So 12x40, and then 12x1. Then add both” and I was like ‘um, no? My brain apparently cannot multiply 12x4 bc I would still need to separate the 12 to 10+2. So 10x4 and then 2x4. So it’s easier to do 41x10 bc you just need to put a 0 on the end so 410 and 2x41 is 41+41 so it’s still easier’

is-is that not Normal?

[a-z0-9-i-n-gram-completionist]

1:    0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 a b c d e f g h i k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y    34/36    (24/26)    (10/10)

2:    00 04 05 08 10 12 13 15 16 17 21 24 25 28 31 33 35 36 39 41 42 43 44 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 63 68 69 71 75 77 79 80 82 83 84 87 89 90 92 93 94 98 ac ag ai al an ap ar as at ay ba be bi bo bp bs bu ca ce ch ci cl co ct da de di ds du dv ea eb ec ed ee ei el em en ep er es et ev ex fa fi fo fr ga ge gh gi gl go gs ha he hi ho ic id ig ik im in io ir is it iv ke ki le lf li ll lo ls lu ly ma mb me mi mo mp ms mu my nd ne ng no ns nt ny ob od of og om on oo or os ot ou ow pa pe pl po pp ps pu qu ra rc rd re ri rm ro rr rs rt sb se sh si so sp sq ss st ta te th ti tl to tp ts tu tw ua ub ud ug us ut va vd ve vi wa wh wi wo xc xe xp ye yo yt yw    217/1296    (167/676)    (50/360)

3:    000 056 087 104 105 108 128 131 136 152 179 212 213 256 283 313 315 392 421 433 443 482 483 493 516 550 569 639 680 715 775 824 835 843 900 941 989 ach aga ain alf all als and ant any app are ari ars art asi aso ati bas bee bei bel bin bob bpa bsp bsq but cal cen cha cis clu com cte ded der din div dua dvd eac ear eas ebo ece ect een ein ele elo emi ent epa era erc ere eri erm ese esp esq est ete ets eva exc exe exp fal fir for fro gai geb gep ges get gin gle goo hal har hat hem her hes hin his hit hos hou how ica idu igi ike ime ind ine ing int ion iou irr irs ise ite ith iti itl itp its ive ivi kin les let lev lik lin lit lly low lse lso lud man mbi men mes min moo mpl mut nda nde ndi ned nes nge ngs not nte nts nyw obp obs ogl omb omp ond one ong ons ood oog ord ori orm ose osi ost oth oug ous out pan pea pec per ple pon pos ppe put qua ral rci rde rds reb rec rel rem rep res rig rim rin rio rms rmu rom rre rst sbo sea see shi sic sit son spo squ ssp ssq ste tat ted ter tha the thi tho tim tio tit tiv tle ton tpo tps tsb tss tub two ual uar ube udi ugh uta utu van var ves vid way wha wit wor xcl xer xpe yea you ytp ywa    285/46656    (248/17576)    (37/12960)

4:    1056 1087 2131 2569 3136 3152 4212 4824 4835 6392 agai ally alse also ants anyw appe areb arep ares ario asic ason atio basi been bein belo bine bobp bobs bpan bspo bsqu call cent char cise clud comb comp cted deri ding divi dual each ears easo ebob ecen ecte eing elev elow emin epan eral erci eres erim erin ermu espo esqu este evan excl exer expe fals firs form from gain gebo gepa gesq gets goog half hart here hese hing hitp hits hose houg ical idua igin imen imes inda inde indi ined ines ings inte ions ious irre irst iter ithi itio itiv itle itpo ives ivid kind lete leva like line lite ludi many mbin ment mind mood mple muta nded nder ndiv ngeb ngep nges nter ntsb ntss nywa obpa obsp obsq ogle ombi ompl onde onge oogl orde ords orig orms osit othe ough outu pant pear pect peri perm plet pond pong posi post ppea quar rall rcis rder rebo rece rele remi repa resp rest rigi rime ring riou rmut rrel sbob seas shit sica siti spon squa sspo ssqu sted tati tera tere that them ther thes thin this thos thou time tion titl tive tles tpos tsbo tssp tssq tube uare udin utat utub vant vari vidu what with word xclu xerc xpec xper year yout ytps yway    231/1679616    (221/456976)    (10/466560)

5:    again antsb antss anywa appea arebo arepa aresp ariou asica ation basic being below bined bobpa bobsp bobsq bpant bspon bsqua cally chart cludi combi compl derin divid eason ecent ected eleva emind epant erall ercis erest erime ering ermut espon esqua ested evant exclu exerc expec exper false first forms gebob gepan gesqu googl hings hitpo hough icall idual iment inded indiv inter irrel itera ithin ition itive itles itpos ividu kinda levan lines liter ludin mbine minde mplet mutat nderi ndivi ngebo ngepa ngesq ntere ntsbo ntssp ntssq nyway obpan obspo obsqu ombin omple onder ongeb ongep onges oogle order origi ositi other outub pants pears pecte perim permu plete ponde ponge posit ppear quare rally rcise rderi rebob recen relev remin repan respo reste rigin rimen rious rmuta rrele seaso shitp sical sitio sitiv spong squar sspon ssqua tatio teral teres these thing those thoug times tions title tives tpost tsbob tsspo tssqu uareb uarep uares uding utati utube vario vidua withi words xclud xerci xpect xperi years youtu    172/60466176    (172/11881376)

6:    antsbo antssp antssq anyway appear arebob arepan arespo arious asical ations basica bobpan bobspo bobsqu bpants bspong bsquar cludin combin comple dering dividu elevan eminde epants erally ercise ereste erimen ermuta espong esquar exclud exerci expect experi gepant gesqua google hitpos ically indivi intere irrele iteral itions itives itpost ividua levant litera luding mbined minded mplete mutati nderin ndivid ngebob ngepan ngesqu nteres ntsbob ntsspo ntssqu obpant obspon obsqua ombine omplet onderi ongebo ongepa ongesq orderi origin ositio ositiv outube pantsb pantss pected perime permut ponder pongeb pongep ponges positi ppears quareb quarep quares rderin recent releva remind repant respon rested riment rmutat rrelev season shitpo sicall sition sitive sponge square sspong ssquar tation terall terest things though titles tsspon tssqua uarebo uarepa uaresp utatio variou vidual within xcludi xercis xpecte xperim youtub    133/2176782336    (133/308915776)

7:    antsbob antsspo antssqu appears arepant arespon asicall basical bobpant bobspon bobsqua bsponge bsquare cluding combine complet dividua elevant eminded erested eriment ermutat esponge esquare excludi exercis expecte experim gepants gesquar hitpost individ interes irrelev iterall ividual literal mutatio ndering ndividu ngepant ngesqua nterest ntsspon ntssqua obpants obspong obsquar ombined omplete onderin ongebob ongepan ongesqu orderin osition ositive pantsbo pantssp pantssq perimen permuta ponderi pongebo pongepa pongesq positio positiv quarebo quarepa quaresp rdering relevan reminde repants respong rmutati rreleva shitpos sically sitions sitives spongeb spongep sponges squareb squarep squares ssponge ssquare tations terally tereste tsspong tssquar uarebob uarepan uarespo utation various xcludin xercise xpected xperime youtube    105/78364164096    (105/8031810176)

8:    antsspon antssqua arepants arespong asically basicall bobpants bobspong bobsquar combined complete dividual ermutati excludin exercise expected experime gesquare individu interest irreleva iterally literall mutation ndividua ngepants ngesquar ntereste ntsspong ntssquar obsponge obsquare ondering ongepant ongesqua ordering ositions ositives pantsbob pantsspo pantssqu periment permutat ponderin pongebob pongepan pongesqu position positive quarebob quarepan quarespo relevant reminded responge rmutatio rrelevan shitpost spongebo spongepa spongesq squarebo squarepa squaresp terested tssponge tssquare uarepant uarespon utations xcluding xperimen    72/2821109907456    (72/208827064576)

9:    antsspong antssquar aresponge basically bobsponge bobsquare ermutatio excluding experimen individua intereste irrelevan literally mutations ndividual ngesquare nterested ntssponge ntssquare ongepants ongesquar pantsspon pantssqua permutati pondering pongepant pongesqua positions positives quarepant quarespon rmutation rrelevant spongebob spongepan spongesqu squarebob squarepan squarespo uarepants uarespong xperiment    42/101559956668416    (42/5429503678976)

10:    antssponge antssquare ermutation experiment individual interested irrelevant ongesquare pantsspong pantssquar permutatio pongepants pongesquar quarepants quarespong rmutations spongepant spongesqua squarepant squarespon uaresponge    21/3656158440062976    (21/141167095653376)

11:    ermutations pantssponge pantssquare permutation pongesquare quaresponge spongepants spongesquar squarepants squarespong    10/131621703842267136    (10/3670344486987776)

12:    permutations spongesquare squaresponge    3/4738381338321616896    (3/95428956661682176)

anyway that put me in a Mood, and combined with my other recent post it reminded me of an experiment I’ve been pondering for years

google hits for the various permutations of ordering the individual words within ‘Spongebob Squarepants’:

Spongebob Squarepants - 35,900,000 but that one’s kinda expected, not what I’m interested in. Squarepants Spongebob - 843,000 but see below Bobpants Spongesquare - 3,680 Spongepants Squarebob - 2,550 Squarebob Spongepants - 989 Spongesquare Bobpants - 516 Bobsponge Squarepants - 443 Bobsponge Pantssquare - 433 Bobsquare Spongepants - 128 Bobpants Squaresponge - 104 Pantssquare Bobsponge - 83 Squaresponge Bobpants - 55 Pantsbob Squaresponge - 54 Spongepants Bobsquare - 53 Bobsquare Pantssponge - 36 Pantsbob Spongesquare - 33 Spongebob Pantssquare - 10 Spongesquare Pantsbob - 7 Squaresponge Pantsbob - 6 Squarepants Bobsponge - 5 Pantssquare Spongebob - 5 Pantssponge Bobsquare - 3 Squarebob Pantssponge - 1 Pantssponge Squarebob - 1

Squarepants Spongebob gets a ton of false positives from things like The Origin of SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete First Season (DVD)

also literally like half of these are the titles of YTPs or other forms of youtube shitpost

here’s a chart of all the positions and how many times each word appears in them though (again, excluding those first two lines for being basically irrelevant to this exercise):

1 2 3 4 Sponge 3136 941 4835 283 Bob 4824 1087 715 2569 Square 1056 775 3152 4212 Pants 179 6392 493 2131