#wetsuit price

[lovifie]

Fishy Business (Mermay'24)

Mermaid!Soap x Reader

4k words - masterlist

Cw: injuries, smut, oral sex, unprotected p in v, monsterfucking(?, let me know if I missed any 💙

Johnny has been living in the tank for two weeks now.

Discovering mermaids were real, shock the world, but in all honesty, only for a couple of days before the evil human mind started to think of ways to profit out of them.

Luckily, mermaids were not stupid and knew perfectly fine that they needed to stay away from the human reach; almost able to smell the putrid aroma of ill intentions pouring out of them.

But no matter how good they hide, humans still find the way to, even if not on purpose, to damage the ecosystem. And when you get the call that a mermaid got his tail tangled on the propeller of a boat and needed urgent care, you weren't really surprised.

You sent your instructions, so the poor thing could get the needed treatment while you made your way to Pentland Firth.

It only took you a couple of days to reach John Price's aquarium. Gruff, big guy that offered the empty tank at his fish sanctuary to keep the merman until it got released.

A solid handshake was his welcoming greeting when he opened the door and he let you into his house. “It's nice to finally meet you, Doctor. You’re making quite a name for yourself lately.” He said, a kind smile on his face making his beard move with it and wearing a funny looking hat more fitting of a sailor on his head.

“Well, not so hard to do so when there is so little competition in mermaid care.” You answered, not completely lying. Little was known about the mermaids, and almost every paper that got published was the first of its kind. Your name just happened to appear on most of them.

“Then I can assume you know your way around them? Sneaky little shits, with kind eyes and sharp teeth.” He said, a chuckle leaving his mouth as if he just remembered something.

“To be completely honest, you have probably seen more than me.” You admit, as you walk next to him, trying to keep up with his pace. “I hear they are quite a number up North, they must like the cold.”

“They like the lack of people.” He almost interrupts you with a low unhumorous chuckle. “This one swam a wee bit to the south… and look what happened.”

You see him shake his head, as if he felt guilty himself of the creature getting hurt. “Anyway, ready to meet him?” He asks, the kind smile back on his face as he takes a corner. He opens the only glass door on the hall, and with a hand on the small of your back, he lets you into the platform sitting over the water surface inside of the tank.

The metal platform rustles with the weight of the man walking alongside, only stopping when he walks up to the man standing at the end of the gangway. Standing just a couple of feet away from them you are able to comprehend their size, massive men, broad, strong, muscular, tall men. They definitely don't look like the classical marine biologist who would own a fish sanctuary.

But then the water splashes, making you look to where the surface of the water is rippling, but without any sign of what causes it.

“Simon, let me introduce you to the doctor. Doctor, Simon here has been the person in charge of following your instructions.” He slaps Simon's back hard, it reverberates against the tank walls but the blonde looks like he didn't even feel it. He is wearing a surgical mask and the rest of his body is covered by a wetsuit. A little contradictory thing.

“Nice to meet you, Simon. How has it been?” You ask, smiling as you look up at him.

“Like givin’ a stray cat a bath.” He mumbles, shaking your hand with a strength that has you trying your best not to shake with it.

“And him? How is it?” You ask, trying your best to be professional and not act like a kid in a candy shop. But the truth is, this is the first time you are going to interact directly with a merman.

“Hm… Like a stray cat that got splashed with cold water.” He says, shrugging his shoulders.

“You are good with metaphors…” You mumble, hearing Price snickers behind you. “So… not really happy with the treatment, then?’

Simon shakes his head, looking back into the water. “Nah, the sashimi shit doesn't want anyone to touch him, and his tail is looking more and more grey as days go by.”

You hum, nodding as you turn to also look into the water. “I'll work on some antibiotics to pour into the water… it won't be as effective, but it'll be a start.”

Price turns as well, all eyes on the water looking for the creature that seems to have disappeared into the water. Camouflage abilities are not to be dismissed taking in consideration how little is known about them, but if Simon was just dealing with him, they should be able to see it.

You look into the deep end, the hairs of your nape rising when you feel eyes on you. But the water in front of your eyes is empty, not a droplet moving out of his place and the only thing you can hear is both men breathing next to you.

“How does he look? Maybe if I have a mental image I can-”

You don't get to finish your sentence, at least not before you feel a wet hand wrap around your ankle and pull it. Hard.

It doesn't give you time to use your hands to stop the fall before your chin knocks the metal of the ground, the skin bursting at the hard hit. A single drop of blood mixes with the water underneath before two pairs of hands grab your arms keeping you from going under the water.

At the pull of your body, you feel sharp claws rupture the surface of your skin where they are holding you, only stopping when Simon stomps his foot right beside yours, threatening to step on him next.

“Enough, Johnny!” He snarls at the creature, standing between you and him, while you cling to Price's legs. If you end up underwater, you are not going alone.

It is hard for you to focus your sight on anything, panic and pain mixing in your system. Only being able to see the creature when you hear him hiss at Simon. The stray cat comparison of Simon being really appropriate now.

The merman captivates you, looking perfectly human, still knowing that no human would stand so high over the surface in open water like him, your brain forcing you to remember the fish-like tail under the water.

You can't bring yourself to pull your eyes from him, both your hunger for knowledge from finally being so close to a real breathing merman and both for the fine specimen of a man staring you up and down like you will be his next dinner.

It's Price the one that pulls you away, helping you on your feet and keeping his arm around your waist to help you walk without resting weight on your foot as he walks you out of the tank. Behind you, and without you noticing, Simon and Johnny share a knowing look, only broken when Johnny gives him a short nod before sinking back in the water, the taste of your blood still floating on it..

It's already night time when you hear the noises, like a piece of furniture falling against the floor. And against your better judgement, you walk, well, limp out of the room you were laying down in.

Turns out Simon and Price are not the only ones living in the sanctuary, and there is a third man called Kyle who was the one that bandaged up your foot and chin.

The ground trembles under your feet as you walk closer, each step you take letting you know with more certainty that the sound is coming from Johnny's tank. You see it before he sees you, standing in the shadows behind the glass door as the merman swims in circles.

Gaining inertia before slamming his body against the wall of the tank making it shake. You see his nostrils flare with his troubled breathing, the grills on his neck moving just as fast. It's such a worrying behaviour that your doctor brain makes you act on it before you can realise how stupid of a decision it is.

You turn the knob opening the door, barely managing to get a foot in before a deep voice startles you. “What th’ fuck did ye pour intae th’ water?! I'm fucking drowning!”

It takes you a second to realise it is the merman talking to you, muscular chest rising with each hard breath as his arms, big enough to crush a skull, hold his body over the water surface.

It also takes you a second to realise that what he means is the medicine in the water, the pungent taste of the chemicals probably making him struggle to breath as normal as before.

“It's the antibiotics.” You answer, almost mumbling. The lights from the tank making the water reflect into the walls in a beautiful imaginary that almost works to trick your brain into ignoring the danger. “For your tail.”

“My tail is perfectly fine! I dinnae need yer bullshit! I need tae go back!” He shouts back, slamming his fist on the metal like a petulant child.

“It is infected! If it enters your blood system you could die!” You shout back, setting both feet a step further into the tank.

“Lies! Human inventions! I'm perfectly fine!” The water splashes around his body when he waves his tail to push himself further out of the water.

“If you were fine you wouldn't stink of rotten fish!” Another step closer to him.

“I dinnae stink! That's just how I smell!” He sits on the gangway, pushing his body out of the water to do so, the massive tail that forms his lower body making the metal creak under his weight.

The sheer size of it doesn't stunt you, it being just proportional to the width of his upper body. But the scales that cover it, dazzling with the light of the reflections and looking like its own miniature sea. Speckles of blue, green and silver dancing around making it hard to look away from it, and making it impossible to miss the pink colour of the exposed meat. Not grey anymore.

“It is already looking better…” You explain, pointing to his wound as you keep walking closer. “You cannot tell me that it doesn't hurt less.”

He follows the direction you point at, quickly moving back so it is under the water; away from your gaze and making you frown at how little time you had to stare.

“That's just because time went by…” He says, almost mumbling and averting your gaze. “I need to go back.”

“Why?” You ask, the volume of your voice also lowering as you bend down to sit, crossed legged but with the injured one still sticking out. “Somebody waiting for you?”

“Yes!” He raises his voices once again, exasperated with your ignorance of his issues. “Everyone is fooling around, and next year when they all havd their wee bairns I'll be alone and I dinnae wantae! 'n' I cannae dae nothing about it cause a'm stuck here!”!”

His words slowly clicks into place, his eagerness to leave, the specially shiny scales, wandering outside of his territory. “It's mating season… mermaids have mating season?”

This is not the time to be asking these questions, you are here to help the merman heal not to study him like an aquarium specimen. But you can't help yourself to ask, only second guessing yourself when the merman looks at you like you just grew a second head. “Obviously… humans dinnae?”

You stare at him, thinking it thoroughly before answering. “Not… really, no.”

“And when do humans mate?”

“...anytime”

The disgust appears on his face as if you had just insulted him and everyone he has ever loved.

“Ye spend th’ whole year shagging, and then have the balls to call us beasts… hypocrites.”

“It's not like that!” You exclaim, suddenly afraid of disappointing the beautiful merman. There is a split second in with you remember every singles fable that talk about dangerous mermaids are, how they lure people in with pretty songs and prettier faces only to get eaten alive, how they trick sailor man to crash their boats in the rocks and then they have a feast on the corpses.

The alarm bell is loud and clear in your head, but just as easily it gets silenced when his wet warm hand lands on your injured foot, right under the bandages. He looks confused at it, eyebrows furrowed and slight pout on his lips.

You shouldn't let him grab you, last time he didn't drown you because Simon and Price picked you up. But you are alone now, and instead of pulling your foot back, you lean in, closer to the creature, and peel the bandages up, showing him the wound.

“I did this?” He asks, his fingertip grazing the skin surrounding the wound. You nod at him, your eyes glued to his face not wanting to lose a single expression of him. He furrows his eyebrows again, his hand moving to rest on the underside of your calf. “Humans are weak… I barely touched ye.”

“We are not weak… You just have sharp nails…” The sound of your voice makes him pull his gaze up, catching how you scratch the skin close to the wound of your chin, the sting from the stitches making you itch.

He pulls your leg again, softer this time, and it should worry you more with how much ease he is able to move you, with a grasp of your foot he easily slides you closer, leaving your feet hanging over the water.

He lays his hand flat beside your leg, propping himself up out of the water. With his arm completely stretched he towers over you, making you pull your head back so you can see his face. He looks down at you, cocking his head.

His other hand finds his way to your jaw, pulling your head even further back so he can see the wound on your chin. You can't see him with the new angle of your neck, but you can feel him get closer to your throat.

The feeling of his breath on the skin of your neck makes every hair on your body stand on end. The alarm bells ring in your head again, this man, as handsome as he is, is still an apex predator in the water that would be able to dismember you in seconds if he wanted to.

Still, and with that knowledge in mind, you have to bite your tongue to keep any tell-tale sounds from escaping you when you feel his face so close to yours.

"I dinnae do this one.... Are ye going to stick to yer theory that ye'r not weak? Or are ye just soft?" his deep voice murmurs, causing a shiver to travel down your spine.

His hand that was on your jaw moves down, resting on your thigh for a second before squeezing the soft flesh. Moving up slowly, dragging it over your skin to your hip, his thumb anchoring itself in the crease of skin between your thigh and your belly. Squeezing the flesh once more making you jump.

As his hand continues to move up, squeezing and whispering against your neck. "Soft... Soft from head to toe.... See? Soft, soft, soft..."

With each repetition of the word, he grabs a different part of your body. Your thigh, your hip, your tummy, your waist and it is when he reaches your chest, his hand wrapping around the soft flesh of your breast that he finally gets a sound to fall from your lips in the form of a faint moan of his name.

"What is it, my soft girl? I can feel yer pulse rising..... It's not fear, innit? Or something… else?" The whine that escapes your lips echoes against the walls of the tank, encouraging the merman in his movements.

The merman presses his wide body between your legs, forcing you to spread them apart to accommodate his width. And before you are able to form a full thought, about everything that is wrong with your actions; how morally wrong, how dangerous, what this could mean for your career... you feel the man's wide tongue travel from your collarbone to behind your ear, scorching your skin with the heat of his body.

Your hands grip his shoulders on impulse, feeling the strength leave your body as you feel him roll his hips against yours.

His assault on your neck continues, nibbling and licking until you instinctively wrap your legs around his hips. By the time you realise you are lying on the platform, opening your eyes to see the massive merman on top of your body with lust in his blue eyes.

You look down to where his hips are pressed against yours when you feel an unfamiliar weight over your pubic bone. Once again, a day's worth of interactions with this specimen is proving more productive than previous years of study, for the great unknown of how mermaids reproduce has just been revealed to you as you see the merman's member lying on your body.

And you are only aware of what kind of expression you have to have on your face when he speaks to you. "What's the matter, ye humans donnae have this either?"

"No, no, they have it, like... some do, but not so... like this.”

Once again, a deep chuckle drips from his chest making you look up to him as he looks down on where your pyjama shorts stick to your clothes when they get wet from the water dripping from his body. His fingertips bury themselves under the hem of your pants, trying to pull them down but grunting when he can't because his body is in the way.

He leans back, sinking back into the water and finally pulling your pants and underwear off, leaving you bare and exposed to him from waist down. You try to think of a reason as to why you seem so unbothered by his advances, it must be some kind of mermaid powers. The guy that took you on a date and asked to go to your home later? No. The guy you met online that asked to meet? iugh. But the merman on the tank that could ruin your career? Yeah, he's alright.

But mermaid powers or not, the way you feel his tongue lap at your soaked folds is very real and so is the whiny moan that falls from your lips. You feel him bury his face even deeper into your cunt, slurping the juices and moaning at the taste of them making you curl your toes. His hands move under your thighs, locking you in place so he can peacefully devour you.

Even though the man has no intentions of pulling back, you still grab the hair at the top of his head urging him closer which he happily complies making you moan softly. One of his hands moves closer to your cunt, dragging his claw over your skin making you shudder at the feeling.

You worry for a second that the merman will scratch you just like he did on your ankle, but instead he uses two fingers to spread your folds leaving you as exposed as he can before shoving his tongue into your entrance making you arch your back. The muscle dragging along the ribbed walls of your cunt, flooding his mouth with the taste of you.

A shameless whine escapes your lips when you feel him pull his face back, your grip on his head lacking all force. He coos at you, shushing your cries as he turns you on your stomach, keeping one of your knees bent as he slots himself behind you.

He props himself on an arm, keeping his chest flush against yours as his other arm hugs you pulling you impossibly closer to him as he rolls his hips to slide his already hardening dick between your folds, making you buck your hips to meet his movements. The heat of his wet body making you ache for more, to feel him closer, deeper.

You lower your hand, placing it between your legs and keeping his cock from moving forwards, making it sink into your welcoming walls. A harmony of moans filling the tank when he slowly sinks into you, the weight of his shaft inside of you feeling comforting in the cold of the tank.

The merman buries his face on the crook of your neck, biting softly your skin, just enough to feel you between his teeth as he moves his hips back, moaning at the feeling of your tight warm cunt sucking him back in.

He moans in tandem with you, a song of your voices accompanying the dance of your bodies. Everytime Johnny's hips move forwards, yours move back, the sound of skin slapping growing louder as his movements get faster.

Every snaps of his hips threaten to pull the air out of your lungs, leaving you unable to do anything else but moan at the feeling of his length hitting so deliciously deep while stretching your gummy walls to accommodate his girth.

“A'm gonnae tak' ye wi’ me once I'm out… would ye lik' that, bonnie lassie? Keep ye close, fucked ‘n’ dined, nae a single worry inside of that bonny head of yers but to take my big fucking cock as good as yer right now…” Every filthy word that leaves his lips, falling like melted honey into your ears making you clench around him, is accentuated with a snap of his hips making you bounce on his arms.

His arm that was hugging you moves lower, fingertips travelling down between your legs and rubbing tight circles over your clit making you whine as you close your eyes. You can hear his tail splash in the water with his movements, and you can tell when his thrust starts to become sloppier, almost losing the rhythm, but keeping it long enough for you to combust around his shaft.

He groans on your shoulder when your walls clench around his length like a vice, milking him for what he's worth, making hims moan against your skin as he keep moving his hips, slowly, letting the two of you ride out your orgasm as you try to get air back into your lungs.

Under the tank, on the underground level of the sanctuary and hidden in the shadows, three pairs of eyes see how Johnny kisses your shoulder softly.

“You know… I was feeling bad about dragging the poor girl into this mess, but… I don't think she minds it too much.” Gaz says, eyes glue to the two of you.

The thing is, that just like sailors knew that the earth was round long before anyone else; they also knew mermaids were real long before the rest of the world. But being able to communicate with one of the sea apex predators has its benefits, and negotiating with them usually translates to an improvement on the business.

And if the merman they accidentally run over with their boat says he wants a cute little partner to repopulate the north sea in exchange of pushing the fishes towards their fishing nets… they will get him a girlfriend to keep him happy.

After all, since humans always find a way to benefit from mermaids, it's only fair that mermaids benefit from humans too.

I hope you guys still wanted some mermaids, I don't know how it took me so long 🩷

Taglist: @crashtestbunny @going-to-ikea-for-the-fries @waiting-so-long @mothymunson @cod-z

@lyralein @thevoidwriting @sklt987659 @thatonepupkai @darkangel4121

@spadekip @herefor-tojis-tits @soupinasock @arbesa-mind @cmbghost

@multifandomheathenannie @tooloudarts @panikk-attackkk @reap3erslov3 @mothsdrabbles

@cassiecasluciluce @sleepdeprivedkat @lunamoonbby @hatterripper31 @contractedcriteria

@vxnilla-hxrddrugs @fraserbraw @rosiehale23 @keiva1000 @sw33tsnow

@loveandplanet @sobbingnshtting @dprmoon @simpsallthetime1997 @ladyxtiger

@soapsmohawk-16 @nina6708 @katreintjie @sacvh @thesinsoflust

@sodavrr @yuki2129 @idk-justkane @shanhalen @dukeofjjune

@vane28282 @dracu1ara @vivi2e @lordbugs @murder-hobo

[olet-lucernam]

A Hollow Promise [25] chapter vi, part ii

{_[on AO3]_}

main tags : loki x original character, post-avengers 2012, canon divergence - post-thor: the dark world, canon-typical violence, mentions of torture

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summary: In the aftermath of the Battle of New York, the Avengers need a few days to build a transport device for the Tesseract. With the Helicarrier damaged and surveillance offline, SHIELD sends an asset to guard Loki in the interim: a young woman who sees the truth in all things, and cannot lie.

Even long presumed dead, her memories lost to her, Loki would know her anywhere.

And this changes things.

Some things last beyond infinity. And the universe is in love with chaos.

(Loki was never looking for redemption. It came as an unexpected side-effect.)

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chapter summary : astrid gathers her allies, and draws the attention of her enemies. loki pays a heavy price for a victory.

recommended listening : rebel soul, katharine appleton, maja norming

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tag list: @femmealec, @mischief2sarawr

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Astrid had told the truth, as always. Ophelia was not her only appointment.

Neither was she the first, however.

Hours earlier, wrapped in a fine, black woollen pea coat and comfortable trainers, Astrid had been walking through the fog and frigid, sea-soaked air of the Cornish coastal town of Looe.

The historical fishing village was sheltered within a deep valley, prefaced inland by thick, verdant forests and winding country roads. Ivory villas and weathered stone cottages were built into the slopes of the cliffs, bordered by a riot of meadow-flora and hardy coastal shrubs, the settlement split in half by the river that decanted into the small marina, and the open, pewter waters of the North Atlantic.

The place held a kind of quaint, antique seaside charm that was ubiquitous to Britain, in Astrid’s experience- a nostalgia that was just slightly foreign to her, evoking the same feeling as the second-hand copies of those interbellum novels by Enid Blyton and Agatha Christie that she used to read on rainy days at home.

She could feel Loki watching through her eyes, dozing gently, shamelessly indolent as he clung to sleep.

Exhaling a smile, Astrid consciously drank in as much as she could. She drew the mouldering, salt-stained tang of seaweed and ocean shallows deep into her lungs, face raised to the damp air, clear-eyed and refreshed.

It was one of the many reasons to be relieved to be out of SHIELD’s custody: wherever she went, and whatever she saw, Loki could experience it through their link. And she was one of the rare, fortunate few who could go anywhere, at any time, with little enough effort.

A flush of affection bloomed in her, like a kiss at the nape of her neck, Loki reading her intentions like braille.

Astrid giggled, the ache of want in her chest ebbing slightly, and glanced out across the harbour.

It was the off-season; the tourism trade withered into hibernation with the last days of August, and first weeks of September. Even so, the picturesque village obviously received a fair number of visitors in the summer months. Across the town, there was an abundance of cafés, bakeries, fishmongers, local crafts shops, ice cream parlours, wetsuit and board rental stores. A sprawling car park had been cut at the base of the hill, and a number of small commercial pleasure boats were moored against the harbour walls, anchored between algae-stained tangerine buoys, advertising sea safaris and recreational fishing trips on printed boards affixed to the weather-rusted harbour railing. A few places were shuttered, but other businesses remained open even into November, catering to the permanent residents of the town.

As she chased the slope upwards, approaching from the narrow, eastern flank of the harbour, towards the ageing arcade and stone bridge across the river, a thought occurred to her.

“Loki. Do you like seafood?”

She felt Loki stir. Astrid could almost imagine his head lifting from his cupped hand- or rolling across a pillow to look at her, black curls spilling, eyebrows steepled in mild askance.

I tend to eat more game, I suppose, he answered cautiously. Hunts are too popular on Asgard for it to be otherwise. But I do like shellfish. Although it is seen as peasant food on Asgard. Cheap fare, common as mud, to be eaten at the harbour by tradesfolk.

“It used to be the same here, for centuries,” Astrid replied, the corner of her mouth twisting up sardonically. “Oysters were still delicious when they were only good for the poor.”

Loki laughed softly. It is ridiculous, is it not? The arbitrary standards of high taste.

He hesitated for a long moment.

I do like oysters, he admitted, almost nervous.

A lilt kicked into Astrid’s step, her mood lifting.

“Oysters, then.” Widening her stride into a loping gait, forming rolling bounce on the balls of her feet, she lifted her face to the headwinds, letting it blow her hair back. “Maybe mussels or scallops, if I can’t find any? Oh- and cream tea.”

Cream tea?

“It’s, ah- like a dessert version of afternoon tea, I suppose? It’s sometimes called Cornish tea.” Astrid crossed the bridge at a brisk clip, shoulder bag tapping at her hip. “You’ll love it. Black tea, served with split scones, clotted cream, and jam. Strawberry is traditional, but I prefer raspberry.”

At the mention of something sweet, she felt Loki’s interest instantly perk.

Astrid’s victory dimmed as Loki swiftly crushed down on his eagerness, cooling into reflexive indifference.

Then you should have raspberry, my heart, he replied mildly, like fingers skimming her cheekbone.

“Mm.”

Astrid strummed her fingers against the cross-strap of her bag, tension furling.

She wondered if she could just scream I want to give you this, let me give you this, I want to give you everything, be selfish with me, just ask me and it’s yours, yours, yours, just say the word, put me to the test, let me prove it across the connection, or if that would be too blunt.

She opted for a subtler option. For now. “Seeing as we’re breaking tradition, we could change the tea out as well.”

Peppermint?

“I thought you might prefer rosehip. Or something floral.”

It’s your tongue, darling.

Astrid nipped her lower lip.

“I like sharing my tongue with you.”

She felt his train of thought stutter, before heating.

You’re playing a dangerous game, Astra, Loki warned, dark and edging into primal, shifting into a voice behind her left ear that seemed spoken through gritted teeth.

Astrid startled, almost tripping, as she felt the sensation of the pads of his fingers swiping at her inner thigh.

Her brain short-circuited for a moment.

Hm. Are you curious, darling?

She bit her lip, restraining the impulse to goad him further.

Following Loki revealing how he could twist his magic into her through their link, Astrid had begun asking about the possibilities. The conversation had been mostly practical- but the thought had occurred to her, even if she had quickly become distracted when it struck her exactly how ingenious the method was, how brilliant Loki was, how blithely oblivious he seemed to that fact.

But now- despite herself, folding her lip between her teeth in an effort to pin her unravelling thoughts in place- Astrid lingered over exactly how far and how intensely he could project sensation into her, how much sensory feedback he received back through their link, and whether-

No. Nope. Nope, nope, no. Work first, North. We’ll explore that another time.

Despite the curl of delighted, thoroughly distracted mischief from Loki, he let the matter drop.

Astrid exhaled quietly, grateful.

Today, she was visiting an old friend. It would be unwise to arrive disarmed of her wits.

Astrid swung off the bridge and into West Looe, swerving in a hairpin turn back down the hill, sinking into the warren of the town. There were only a few figures out in the midmorning light, walking dogs or tending to their boats, the quiet seeming to echo against the rush of the sea. The narrow streets were barely broad enough to accommodate a single car, the cobbles uneven and worn smooth underfoot, none of the structures more than two or three stories tall; most of them were at least a century or two old, patchworked with modern features, dating to the days of smugglers and portside inns and the great age of sail, their timbers ancient and their walls full of ghosts and memories.

She came to a halt outside a particular storefront.

The entire street was built into the incline of the hill, its rowhouses sitting a foot or so below the edge of the pavement, squatting low. The windows of the ground floor were almost level with Astrid’s crown, the sills above within reach if she cared to make the short jump, walls a washed white between dark Tudor beams.

Astrid tipped her head up a millimetre, the aperture of her senses opening to sweep the interior, as she read the sign affixed above the door.

Witches’ Brew, it read, white font upon a rich violet backing. On the left side of the sign was the outline of a cat, paws upon the rim of a bubbling cauldron to peer at the contents.

Bookshop, was added underneath, in smaller, blunter font. Tarot. Occult. Café.

You know, Loki commented, there is an infusion made from íviðia blossoms called witches’ brew.

Astrid tipped her head. “Really?” She asked softly.

Mother sent some blossoms to my cell recently- if you care to share my tongue later?

She winced into a grin, knowing that he wasn’t going to let that go any time soon. “Mm, in exchange for cream tea?” She teased.

Astrid felt a pair of arms slip and loop around her midriff, a mouth skimming her crown.

She felt the gentle billow of his sigh, the phantom of his chest against her back.

You drive quite a bargain.

With a faint smile, Astrid stepped down to the shop’s door, and turned the handle.

A classic shopkeeper’s bell chimed overhead, jostled into motion, before the door clicked shut behind her.

She was met with the fragrance of incense- a thicker, heavier curtain of agarwood, compared to the delicately floral smoke that lingered in the training halls where she grew up, and which her father preferred- blended with the earthiness of burned white sage, and coffee grounds.

The shop was quiet. Her steps were muffled by a dark patterned carpet, the space airy and inviting, despite the low ceilings and semi-subterranean position. At the right, the space folded into a geometric puzzle of tall bookshelves, walls paved with spines, the stacks labelled by genre with signs in blackboard and chalk, a few tables laid out with bricks of bestsellers and new arrivals. To her left was the register- unoccupied, with a bell to ring for service- and several tables and shelves, displaying various occult-themed wares. There were box-trays of tumbled, semi-precious gemstones, kitsch plastic goblets with dragons curled around their stems, dowsing crystals and decorative glass figurines, starter guides to palmistry and divining the stars.

Her eyes skipped past all of them, and up.

A large sign was placed at the bottom of a flight of narrow stairs. It advertised the café on the second floor, and tea leaf readings.

Astrid didn’t move to ring the bell on the counter, but the one at the door must have been enough.

“I’ll be right with you, dear!”

A woman’s voice called down from the upper floor. It was American-accented, almost neutral, but underscored with something in the region of Massachusetts.

Astrid smiled, folding her arms and turning away.

“That’s alright!” She replied, voice raised to carry as clear as struck crystal, twisting at the waist to speak over her shoulder. “Take your time! I’m here to see a friend.”

Movement upstairs stilled.

A beat passed, before Astrid felt the familiar crackle of magical wards being activated.

Loki reacted, his mana surging into her nerves with a precision that knocked the breath from her chest, pressing up to the surface of her skin, preparing to force his own counter-wards into her flesh.

Catching her breath, fingers fluttering at the foreign magic in her blood, Astrid sent him a gentle nudge of reassurance.

“Did you not hear the word friend, Agatha?” She yelled up, tone dry and hip cocking. “Your wards didn’t react when I walked in. Now would you please quit it?”

Before Loki tries to rip apart your spellwork and fracture your magical core in the backlash, she added internally.

Don’t tempt me, darling, Loki warned, poised like an adder to strike. Who is she?

The wards lingered, bristling like spines- before settling back.

A moment later, Astrid heard footsteps, and the creak of the ageing banister under new weight.

As I said. She’s a friend… of a sort.

Of a sort?

The subject of discussion halted, a few steps above ground floor.

Astrid remained with her back turned for several seconds, shoulder blades open and unguarded.

After deeming that her message had sufficient time to sink in- if it was going to at all- Astrid turned.

It had been about a century and a quarter, chronologically, since they had last seen each other- during the last of her father’s missions that Astrid had accompanied him on, before she had gone looking for answers.

The inciting incident that drove her to look for answers, in fact.

True to form, however, Agatha Harkness had adapted, and today was the very image of a modern, new-age witch.

Stocky, square-jawed, and casually confident, she possessed the mien and bone structure that would command the description of a handsome woman. Dressed in plimsoles, thick black leggings, and a cable-knit sweater the exact velvety depth of wolfsbane, she looked deceptively, cosily middle-class, her dark chestnut hair styled in a cloud of tight waves to her shoulders, framing her fair, round face and dark cobalt eyes.

“Well.” She draped an elbow across the rail, sleeves rolled back, sizing Astrid up with a wide, crooked smile and a gaze as hard as flint. “Look what the cat dragged in.”

Astrid was simultaneously reminded of a salacious, bored housewife with a mind like a steel trap, and a large crocodile sunbathing by the water’s edge.

“It’s good to see you, Agatha,” Astrid said sincerely, light as air. “You look well. I’m glad.”

She tried to sacrifice my soul to Mephistopheles once, Astrid admitted to Loki, deciding that it would be better to get it out of the way now.

She did what? Loki snarled, alarmed.

Long story. Daddy stepped in. She came to regret it.

She could feel Loki glaring into her. Because you made her regret it, or because she decided to regret it? Because that’s quite a distinction, darling.

Astrid almost laughed. His mind was always so quick.

Alright, fine. A little of both.

Jaw and mouth pursed tightly, Agatha’s eyes flitted sharply across and behind Astrid’s form, darting as dragonflies.

Astrid softened her stance, loosening her limbs and opening her posture.

“It’s just us,” she said reassuringly.

Conveniently, Astrid did not mention that us included the sorcerer-prince whose mind was currently linked to her nervous system.

Astra.

His tone was grim, steeled, but quietly restrained.

Astrid sensed the unspoken undercurrent underneath- that he wanted her out of that shop, now.

Astrid reached for him, slotting herself into his edges, feeling him shift to accommodate her.

Please trust me, Loki. I have this.

She felt him hesitate, her calm focus an emollient.

Besides, she added. You might find that you like her.

I highly doubt that, dove, Loki replied haughtily, even as he relented.

She kept silent. Something told her that Loki would refuse to see the similarities, even if she informed him of exactly how her long story with Agatha had ended.

Agatha’s expression had stiffened slightly, eyes narrowing to a squint.

“Just so that we’re clear,” she drawled, gesturing vaguely across her with a jabbing index finger, “you’re not here to check in on me, or- drag me away to some kind of tribunal, are you?”

Astrid tipped her head consideringly. “Have you done anything to warrant it?”

Once again, Astrid opted not mention that she already had a fair idea of the answer. She had made it her responsibility to know; confidence in her decision didn’t negate the gamble, and Astrid wouldn’t ignore her culpability if things went sour.

As far as she could tell, however, Agatha had been smart. She had spent the years since they had last seen each other travelling and researching and collecting, restraining herself to a few petty grudges, mild curses, and mostly harmless, mostly necessary fraud. All in all, nothing that Astrid had found worth getting into a snit over.

Besides. That thing with the carnivorous rabbit had been pretty funny.

Astrid could feel Loki trying to pretend that he wasn’t intrigued.

Agatha snorted. “Not in my book, but we both know that doesn’t mean much. Even my best behaviour means being a little badsometimes.”

“Mm. Well, so long as they deserved it, I’m happy to remain ignorant.”

Brows raised, corners of her mouth tugging into a shrug, Agatha looked pleasantly surprised.

“Huh. Well, in that case- it’s good to see you too, Little Miss Dante,” she said wryly, dragging out the old nickname as though she were dusting off a spellbook, descending the last few steps. “Now that we’ve got the formalities out of the way, how have you been for the past- oh, hundred and thirty years or so?”

“Not quite so long on my side, Madame Virgil,” Astrid admitted, satin-smooth as sugar ribbons, “but I’ve- been busy.”

The Divine Comedy? Loki noticed.

Mm, good catch.

He paused, quietly assessing- before relaxing slightly in realisation.

Aha. I see.

Astrid held down her smile, but sent its warmth in his direction.

“And what about your dish of a father?” Agatha asked.

“Not interested, Agatha.”

And still hung up on whoever gave him that watch.

“Huh. Pity.” Agatha paused, appraising Astrid with long, slow sweeps. One forearm folded against her lower ribs, the opposite hand raised, fingertips rubbing together. “Any luck, then, dear, with that little- soul-searching identity quest of yours?”

Lifting one shoulder, Astrid let herself smile abstrusely.

“Some. Thank you for asking.”

“Well, you know. I like to know who and what I’ve made a deal with,” she said, head lowered into an unblinking stare, as though wondering how Astrid’s liver might taste, “as a rule.”

“It’s a good rule.” She said mildly.

Agatha looked at her for a long moment, one corner of her mouth and eye tensing- then straightened, clapping her palms together and spinning on her heel.

“Well, since you came all this way- fancy some tea? I could read your leaves for you! I must say, I’ve gotten pretty good- or, well, as good as you can get, with fortune-telling. It’s always a bit of a crapshoot, you know. Less mess than the animal guts, though.”

Astrid adjusted the strap of her bag against her shoulder as Agatha began to head up towards the café, not even waiting for her reply.

“Why not? We do have a lot to catch up on.” She began to follow her up the stairs, drawing a shallow breath as she went in for the kill. “And I think I have a way to get Karmar-Taj off your back so that you can come out of hiding, so I’m sure you’ll want to-”

Agatha turned back to her sharply. “What?”

Her eyes were slightly wild, incredulous, and treacherously hopeful.

Reflecting briefly, Astrid supposed that she should feel a little bad.

That was, if not for the memory of choking sulphur, of her face and throat scorching with brimstone-heat, and the sound of dimensions ripping apart like adipose from muscle tissue and Agatha laughing broad and wild- just before Mephistopheles betrayed her, just before Astrid regained the strength to yank the witch away from the consequences of her own actions.

Just because she had forgiven did not mean she was inclined to be nice.

Besides. Agatha would respect her less if she was.

Loki watched her work, ruthlessly, using honesty as a weapon and the truth like she she owned it, cautious and amused and a little proud.

Astrid arched her brows, both at him and the witch standing before her.

“You didn’t think I’d come without a gift, did you?”

-

Some time later, a platter of a dozen shucked oysters in front of her, seated with a sea view and décor of scrubbed wood and clean white walls, Astrid made the first entry on her shopping list.

Tea leaves.

-

[PREVIOUS] | [MASTERLIST] | [NEXT]

[shadeops21]

MWII Cosplay Guide - Capt John Price

The Man. The Myth. The Legend.

Captain John Price.

It's time for Part 5 of my ongoing guide series, previous posts found below: John “Soap” Mactavish (link to updated higher-res images) Simon “Ghost” Riley Los Vaqueros - Alejandro Vargas & Rudolfo Parra Side Guide - Helmets of Soap and Ghost Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Just a note about Price's: much about his appearance hasn't changed between MW19 and MWII, just a few small changes most notably to his pants and to his vest's colour and equipment. Other than that, nothing drastic. Also, like Soap's, two of his appearances are just colour/palatte swaps, so it's really just the two different models.

Like Gaz's, I haven't included the wetsuit "Marina" kit or his civilian attire for the same reasons.

Standard warnings/reminders apply: some of what you may see may not be commercially available as it either might be government sales only, or not physically exist in that colour/pattern.

If you have any questions about what you see here, or any suggestions, corrections, or requests, please don’t hesitate to leave it as a note or in a reblog!

And please share this (and past and future) post around, so as many people can see it as possible. I want to share and spread this knowledge with as many as possible!

[wigglepiggle]

I found out one of joes names is jaws so I knew what I had to do

Joe the salmon!

Lurking in the dark of the depths of sea, one day on a lark

Decides to get rowdy, get real violent

Takes a vay-cay up to barnacle and dime and

Shopping lotion fun in the sun

Blood in the fountain, everybody run

'Cause it's crazy how few fucks this fish gives

He'll eat naked lobsters, he'll eat little squids!

Oh, no!

But the one thing keeping the community safe

Is a guy named Judd and his pal Lil Judd

Joe don't know that a storm's gonna come

He just wants everyone to be his Chum, get it, get it

The mayor don't care if the townsfolk die

He doesn't want to spoil the fourth of July

He's like, "Everyone cool it, and go buy some swimwear!"

But holy shit here comes that fin!

Joe is here

Here is Joe

(He is a salmon without a cause)

He was in a big run you should play it it's called Joe

Joe is here

Here is Joe

(He is a salmon who fights the law)

He was in a big run that everyone fought

Long story short, the mall gets closed

The mayor's like, "Okay, yeah, this blows"

Suddenly Joe has got a price on his head

But the wrong little salmon baby ends up dead

It was Joes' little brother! now he's pissed

The mayor just shot to the top of his list

He sneaks in his house in the middle of the night

And he eats that fucker in a single bite

Golly

(doo do odoo)

Now the mayor's dead, so Judd's in charge

He knows the real killer is still at large

So he and the Lil Judd make a decision

They're going on a mission

They're gonna go fishing

For Joe

A man named Mr Grizz lets them use his helicopter

On the condition that he be the one to cut Joes' throat

'Cause he was a sailor back in World War III

And Joe ate his entire crew, woah!

Joe is here

Here is Joe

(He is a salmon without a cause)

He was in a big run, a big run called Joe!

Joe is here

Here is Joe

(He is a salmon who fights the law)

He was in a big run that everyone fought

They're out on the sea, they wait all night

Where could Joe be? He's nowhere in sight

Lil Judd decides to go down in a cage

And Joe shows up in a full on rage

He tears up the cage like paper in a shredder

While Lil Judd makes his wetsuit wetter

He hides behind a rock like cowardly prick

And he doesn't come back until the end of the flick

Judd's like, "We're gonna need a bigger boat"

So they go back home and get a bigger boat

The biggest boat that's ever sailed

Gonna kick Joes' ass or I guess his tail, yeah his tail

But, oh, my shit!

Joe jumps out and Grizz gets bit!

Right in half like a kit-kat bar!

Up in the sky there's a shooting star

That's Grizz up in space, he's a star now

Judd's angry, he's all like, "Fuck it"

He takes a harpoon and welds it to a charger

Joes' last words are, "Woah, respect"

Then he explodes and it's a pretty good effect, yeah!

Joe is dead

Long live Joe

(He was a salmon without a cause)

He was in a big run, you should play it, it's called Joe

JOE IS DEAD

LONG LIVE JOE

(He was a salmon who fought the law)

He was in a big run that everyone fought

(He was in a big run that everyone fought)

He was in a big run that everyone fought

Joe is dead

Long live Joe

(He was a salmon without a cause)

He was in a big run, called Joe

(Joe is dead)

At the Academy Awards

(Long live Joe)

He was robbed

(He was a salmon without a cause)

Salmons exist in real life, woah

(He was in a big run that everyone fought)

Joe is dead

Long live Joe

[callsign-bunnie]

Grape Crush is such a funny name

Part 2?

Grape Crush is my favorite Crush flavor and I thought the pun was cute, ngl

--

Gaz sighed as he watched Price settle into the sniper’s nest beside him. It was January, now, and they were on a mission for Rodolfo and Alejandro. Or… Alejandro and Rodolfo.

Technically, he supposed it would be Colonel Vargas and Sergeant Major Parra, but he’d been told to just call Rodolfo Rodolfo since he’d mistakenly called him Perra which apparently meant… bitch… in Spanish. Gaz was still cringing from that mistake. 

“You know, I don’t think he’s in there.” Gaz sighed, since they’d been there for hours, waiting for a target to come out, but he never had. They’d been asked to stay as long as possible to make sure, but there had been a possibility he was not in the building. 

“I’m starting to think you might be right.” Price did not sound happy. “We’ll stay here, just in case, though. How long until the place closes?”

It was a bar, so it wouldn’t close until 2 AM and it was currently 10PM… “Uh… four hours, sir.” Gaz cringed. Great, this was going to be a boring four hours. 

Price sighed and shook his head. “Course it is. Well, sergeant, settle in, it’s going to be a long four hours.”

“You know, I never told you the rest of the story…” Gaz perked up.

Price slowly turned to look at him, clearly not impressed. But, Gaz was not swayed. “Come on, sir, it’s not like we have anything better to do.”

Price was silent before rolling his eyes and making a gesture for Gaz to continue. “Wonderful!” Gaz grinned, shifting a little closer. He tried to remember where he was in the story, furrowing his brows. “Um… Um, I was…”

“You were going to go to the surf beach.” Price sighed, relaxing the sniper rifle a little.

“You were paying attention!” Gaz looked at him, genuinely surprised.

“Sergeant.”

“Right, right. Okay, so David had us up pretty early. Apparently Tiffany and her friends, who David had told me were named Veronica, Emilia, and Taylor. Taylor was her twin, by the way…”

-

Kyle scratched at his upper arms and looked around the beach, frowning as he noticed it was pretty empty. “Not many people are here.” He had found a pretty nice looking green wetsuit at the little shop they’d stopped at before coming. David had a job, so he’d paid for both of theirs in order to appease Kyle, who hadn’t wanted to stand out. 

David had already embarrassed Kyle by also going into the shop and purchasing the Sex Wax brand. Kyle was pretty sure he’d seen on the website that they waxed the boards before every lesson, so he wasn’t even sure why David had… felt the need to do that. But, he’d went for the Kiwi “flavor” since it was his favorite. 

“That’s the point.” David was stretching and Kyle narrowed his eyes at him. “You said I was going to get on a board and try to surf so… When we got back to the hotel room, I found a coupon for free surfing lessons. So, I asked Mum and she said I could use them!”

Kyle had to admit, that was pretty smart. “Quick thinking,” he muttered. “There’s no way you’re going to be able to surf in one lesson, though.”

“Look, as long as I can stand up and surf for a little bit, I can wipe out and you can make up some story about how I’ve never done that. Then, I’ll tell Tiffany that she was so pretty it was distracting me and eh voila.” David held his arms out, grinning. 

Kyle blinked at David. “You really think that’s going to work?”

“Why wouldn’t it? Girls love that kind of stuff.” David waved him off and looked around. “Anyway, our instructor-”

“Our?!” Kyle immediately backed up from him. “Oh no, oh no no no no. I am not attempting to surf, you are.” He was absolutely not going to try to get on a board, he didn’t even want to attempt. He planned to just plant his happy ass on the beach with the girls and just watch David eat it on the water. 

“The lessons were for two people! Come on, I doubt they’re going to put us in the water for the first lesson.” David shook his head. “I’ll keep their attention on me and you can just kind of follow along.”

Kyle looked at David for a moment, watching him make his big stupid ass puppy eyes at him. “God, fine, but I’ll skin you if you try to make me get in the water.”

David relaxed and then grinned at him, again. “You’re the best, thank you!” He put his hands together and then he went back to stretching and looking around. “Oh, hey, look, that lifeguard is here.”

Kyle immediately turned to look, blushing dark and cringing at himself as soon as he did. He indeed did spot the lifeguard walking onto the beach, wearing a wetsuit. It covered most of his body and yet he was still just as gorgeous. 

Then, the lifeguard started to walk towards them and Kyle’s eyes went wide. “David. David. Why is he walking towards us?”

“Huh, now that I think about it, the website did say an Alex would be teaching us. Lifeguard and Surf Instructor. Damn, what a guy.” David smiled, sheepishly, and then gave a nervous laugh. “I thought it was a bit of a coincidence.”

Kyle grabbed David by the collar of the blue wetsuit he wore and yanked him close. “I swear to god....” He hissed. 

David laughed, nervously, again. “Look, it’ll give you a chance to get to know him! I really didn’t know!”

Kyle let him go and touched his forehead. He was going to die on this stupid vacation of embarrassment and it was starting to look like it would be David’s fault. He bit the inside of his cheek, hugging himself and looking away as Alex finally made it to them. 

“Hey, you two are who I was supposed to be instructing, right? David and… Kyle?” Alex gestured between them. “Oh, hey, I remember you from yesterday.”

David grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at Kyle, who had to resist just punching him across the jaw. “Yeah, my mum was the one who needed to talk about my sister’s accommodations…” Kyle mumbled. 

“Well, do you have any experience surfing? If so, I can get you started right in the water.” Alex offered. “If not, we’ll start slow.”

Kyle’s brain was snapped onto that, immediately. “I don’t,” he spoke up before David could and then he was suppressing a shit eating grin, trying to appear nonchalant. “David does. He’s surfed quite a few times before.”

David immediately whipped to glare at him but Kyle just ignored him, clasping his hands behind his back and rocking on his heels. “Oh, well then! That’s great.” Alex nodded. “Well, David, I’ll get you set up with a board, then. Uh… since both of you are at different skill levels- Jess!” He called to another young woman in a wetsuit.

Her wetsuit was black and red and she had bright red hair to match. She came over wearing red lipstick and a tattoo of a black widow spider peeked out of the bottom of her wetsuit, which was not shorts like Kyle and David’s or pants like Alex’s, but instead was legless. Oh no…

Kyle looked at David who looked like a kid in a candy shop, no longer looking absolutely terrified of the water. Jess intimidated Kyle, he’d admit, but he wished that Alex would decide that Jess could teach Kyle and Alex would teach David. 

“Jess, can you take over instruction for this one?” Alex asked, gesturing to David and Kyle’s heart sank. Oh no… 

David, however, looked to be on cloud nine. Jess looked over David, blowing a bubble with her gum and popping it before shrugging. “Yeah, but I’m taking half your commission.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Great, you do that.” He sighed. “Just get him a longboard, first, will you?”

“Jesus, Alex, I’ve been doing this job longer than you, I think I know what I’m fucking doing.” Jess made a face at him. “Come on, kid. Nice wetsuit.” She gestured for David to follow.

Kyle rolled his eyes as David gave him a quick thumbs up before following her. Kyle imagined that if David had a tail, it’d be wagging. Prick. He shook his head and sighed, able to hear David complimenting Jess’s wetsuit as they were walking away. 

“You’ll probably not be getting in the water today, is that okay?” Alex was talking and so Kyle turned his focus back to him, seeing he was grabbing a plain board from nearby. It was long, taller than Kyle, and for a moment, Kyle was vividly worried about it falling on him, but instead, Alex just laid it down on the sand before grabbing another and putting it on a weird mound of sand. 

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Kyle mumbled, more than grateful to not have to worry about that. 

“Have you ever seen someone surf?” Alex turned and looked at him, finally appearing to be done with what he was doing.

Kyle felt himself blushing again. “I’ve seen Surf’s Up…” He joked, or tried to.

Alex looked at him for a moment and then chuckled. “I think I’ve seen that. It’s the one about the penguins, right?”

“Yeah,” Kyle did relax a bit, finding it easier to interact with people when he had some sort of common ground. “I own the DVD of it, but I haven’t watched it too much.”

“Ah.” Alex nodded and then leaned against a palm tree which was nearby. “What’s your favorite scene?”

“Oh uh…” Well, it was a little embarrassing, but… Kyle was having a lot of trouble thinking of any other scene. “The scene with the sea urchin. The ‘broken, broken, gone gone, broken broken broken’ scene.” 

Alex laughed. “Yeah, I like that scene.” He nodded. “I vibed really hard with Cody. Especially that scene where he’s talking about his mom, you know?”

“Oh, yeah,” Kyle nodded, frowning. He’d forgotten about that scene. “The one where he’s talking about how judgemental people are?”

“Yeah, exactly.” Alex nodded. “I’ve uh… I’ve dealt with a lot of judgmental people.”

“Yeah, because you’re gay, right?” Kyle blurt out before he could stop himself and he immediately shrank back, covering his mouth. Kyle, you fucking dumbass. 

Alex paused and then chuckled. “Partially. But… yeah, I’m gay. That’s not going to be a problem for you, right?”

Kyle winced. “No… I’m… I’m gay, too… David is trans.” He gestured to where he could see David was leaning against a board, clearly trying to charm Jess. 

“Holy shit, no way.” Alex grinned. “So’s Jess.”

“Really??” Kyle blinked, surprised. Huh, he wished he’d known, maybe he’d have said something before Jess had left. “But, no… It won’t be.” He smiled a little. 

“Anyway, I’ll tell you more about why I relate to Cody while you practice balancing.” Alex gestured to the board on the mound before heading to the one that was just on the sand. “Start on your stomach, that’s how you’ll wade out to the water.”

Kyle… really did not want to get on his stomach. But, he sighed and nodded, anyway, before going to the board and carefully getting onto it, laying on his stomach. Alex made him mime the swimming motion and Kyle prayed no one was watching him. God, this was mortifying. 

Then, finally, Alex showed him how to get up so he could stand on the board. Kyle… may have gotten too cocky by just watching Alex do it because he got up, the board wobbled, and he was immediately falling over, hitting the sand kind of hard. 

Between these lessons and David, Kyle’s back was shaping up to be permanently bruised, it seemed. He rubbed at it, wincing. Alex quickly came over. “Don’t worry, kid, that happens to everyone.”

“Kyle.” Kyle mumbled, really not wanting to get called Kid. “That’s my name.”

“Oh. Well, Kyle, that happens pretty often. Hell, it happened to me.” Alex offered a hand and Kyle accepted it, letting him help him up.

Kyle rubbed at his back, again, and sighed. “Yeah, thanks.” He mumbled, not quite reassured by the statement. “How else do you relate to Cody?”

“Let’s try balancing for a moment.” Alex answered, first, and then guided Kyle back to the board, helping him to stand on it. Kyle winced as he wobbled and then he was blushing dark red as Alex used a hand to steady him by touching his waist.

His heart completely stopped beating for a moment. 

But, then Alex was talking and it resumed. “My mom was a single mom, too.” He answered, keeping Kyle steady on the board. “My dad died when I was kid and so she was alone raising me. She had a lot of pressure on her.”

“Oh.” Kyle felt kind of bad, now. “Wait, was?”

“Well, I don’t live with her anymore.” Alex laughed. “She’s still alive and kicking in Texas. I came up here for the summer to work before starting college.”

“Oh…” Kyle did relax a bit. Finally, he was able to stand a little bit on his own without wobbling, figuring out how to move with the motion of the board. “What are you going to college for?” He asked, wincing as soon as he did. He didn’t know why he asked, he just knew most adults did when someone mentioned college. 

“I haven’t decided yet. I have a wide array of options for what I want to be.” Alex sighed and finally he let go of Kyle’s waist.

Kyle did wobble a few more times, but he didn’t fall again, taking deep breaths as he did his best to stay on the board. “What do you want to be?” Okay, he was genuinely curious. 

Alex seemed to consider. “I’d like to join the CIA, honestly. Going undercover, doing spy shit… I liked James Bond as a kid if you couldn’t tell.”

Kyle blushed, his mind immediately pulling up a perfect image of Alex as a James Bond and… well, it didn’t help the little crush he had formed. “The CIA sounds cool. I don’t know much about it, I’m from England.”

“I could tell by your accent.” Alex nodded. “Hey, you’ve been balancing for a good moment.”

As soon as Kyle noticed, he wobbled again and then fell over. Alex was quick to catch him this time, Kyle landing in his chest. He put his hand on it to stabilize himself, doing a shit job of not thinking about how hard his abdomen was under Kyle’s hand. And the fact that he could smell peach on Alex’s body. 

Gahhh, get it together!

Alex chuckled. “Don’t let yourself get in your own head. Come on, let’s try getting up again.”

Kyle hesitated before nodding and getting back down. He mimed the motion of wading out and then standing up a few times until he could do it without immediately falling over. Thankfully, Alex stayed nearby, catching him any time he fell. 

When he could stand just fine, Kyle felt the barest amount of achievement, blushing and smiling to himself as he made the balancing motion. “You’re a natural!” Alex complimented and Kyle wasn’t sure he believed him.

But, he smiled, anyway. “You’re a good teacher.” He complimented back. 

Alex looked around for a moment. “Well, your friend hasn’t seemed to return-”

“Brother.” Kyle corrected and then blushed. “We’re technically foster brothers, but…”

“Oh.” Alex frowned. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed. Anyway, your brother hasn’t seemed to return. Technically, your lesson ended an hour ago, but… I don’t have any lessons for the rest of the day. Do you want to try wading out into the water?”

“Oh,” Kyle blushed. He tried not to be flattered that Alex wanted to continue teaching him. But, his brain already was. “Uh… I don’t… have to try to stand up in the water, right?”

“No, no.” Alex shook his head. “You’re pretty good, already, but I don’t want to throw you in the deep end, just yet. You can try just floating.” 

Kyle relaxed. Well, floating didn’t sound too bad… “Okay…” He nodded. “That sounds fun.”

“It is, I promise.” Alex nodded and smiled before grabbing the board. He showed Kyle how to first get on the board and then how to make sure he was in the right position before then showing Kyle how to attach his leg to the board. 

Finally, he let Kyle try to get out onto the water. Well, succeed, more like, but it was so incredibly easy that Kyle almost found himself having fun as he waded out. Alex didn’t grab his board, instead swimming out with him and then treading water when they made it a decent amount out.

Kyle put his arms under himself so he could be comfortable, closing his eyes and relaxing in the motion of the water. “This is nice…” He commented without really meaning to.

“It is.” Alex agreed and looked around. “Alright, you’ve heard me talk about myself, enough.”

“I like hearing you talk about yourself,” Kyle mumbled, blushing again. Alex was really interesting and he liked hearing about him. 

Alex seemed surprised and then chuckled. “Thanks. What about you, though? What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Kyle had to actually think about that one. “I… I don’t know, yet. I was thinking about joining the military, actually. But, I don’t know where, yet.”

Alex shrugged. “You have time. What, five years?”

Kyle made a face. “Only two and a half. Everyone sort of puts emphasis on that 18 thing.” He was pretty sure 18 was when most people decided in America, too, but maybe he didn’t know as much about them as he thought. Maybe most people chose by 21, instead? That would make sense, kind of.

Alex blinked. “You’re 15?”

“I- Yes??” Kyle was almost incredulous, pushing up on the board a little and then immediately laying back down as it wobbled in the water. “How old did you think I was??”

Alex laughed. “Well, you’re pretty tall but I thought you were 13! I thought you were very well spoken for being 13!”

Kyle groaned, putting his face in his arms. This was embarrassing. He’d never been mistaken for being younger, before. “I’m 15 and a half…” He mumbled.

“The half is a very important distinction.” Alex joked and Kyle found himself blushing more. “Well, I’m only 18 but I’ve gotten mistaken for being 21, if it makes you feel any better.”

Kyle was not sure it did, but he did finally lift his head out of his arms. He looked over Alex and then blushed. “You do kind of look 21…”

“Thanks.” Alex smiled. “I’m sure I’ll age gracefully.”

Kyle smiled. “I think you will…” He mumbled and then looked away. 

They were both quiet for a bit before Alex was nudging him, again. “What’s your favorite color?”

Kyle lifted his head from where he’d laid it on his arms and hesitated. “Green… Emerald, to be specific.”

“Like your suit. Cool.” Alex nodded. “Mine’s blue.”

“Like your eyes?” Kyle blushed as soon as he said it. God, he hoped he’d grow a filter, one day. 

Alex didn’t seem fazed, however. “No. Like… the darkest part of the sky during a sunset. When you can just still make out the blue.”

Kyle blushed, able to pull up the color in his mind, easily. “Oh.” He softened. “I like that shade of blue.” 

“You wanna try sitting up? I promise I won’t make you stand.” Alex offered.

Kyle hesitated before nodding and let Alex instruct him through sitting up and then straddling the board. Maybe… maybe this had been kind of nice… He was definitely not doing this again, though. “Alright, honesty time.” Alex suddenly said, as soon as Kyle was sitting.

Kyle blushed, frowning. Oh no. “What?”

“Does David actually know how to surf?” Alex chuckled. 

Kyle blushed dark, cringing as he realized he’d been caught. “No…” He admitted. “I was getting revenge for him knocking me over, yesterday.” Well, and a few other things, but… Kyle couldn’t quite admit that.

Alex shook his head, laughing softly. “Well, I will say, that was pretty dangerous but… I probably would have done the same, so I can’t judge you too hard. Don’t worry, Jess will pick up on it. She’s been surfing since she was a little kid.”

Kyle relaxed, glad Alex wasn’t mad at him. “Sorry…” He still mumbled.

“Don’t worry about it.” Alex pat the board. “You really are a natural. I wasn’t sitting until my third lesson.”

Kyle blushed, flattered again. “I’m a quick learner.” He joked. 

“Clearly.” Alex nodded. “I do lessons on Thursdays and… well, it’s shaping up to be a slow summer, so if you want to come back and learn more… I wouldn’t be opposed to it. You seem cool. If you want to find an excuse for your brother, Jess also does lessons on Thursday.”

Kyle blushed even darker. He thinks you’re cool, he thinks you’re cool. “I’ll… I’ll think about it.”

He probably would not be taking Alex up on the offer, regardless. “Thanks…” He smiled, trying not to appear too shy. 

“Come on, let’s get you back on the sand.” Alex nudged his head in the direction of the beach and Kyle glanced back, seeing David was waving at him. Even at this distance, Kyle could see he was grinning from ear to ear. 

Kyle nodded and he moved back to his stomach as Alex guided the board back to the beach. He undid the leg strap himself and then Alex showed him to easily stick the board in the sand before saying goodbye, grabbing some wax and starting to wax a different board.

Kyle watched him for a moment, blushing yet again, before turning and jogging over to David. “Hey, how did your lessons go. Did the girls ever show up?”

“Who gives a shit about them??” David shook his head. “Jess is so cool! She has a motorbike!” 

Kyle laughed, softly. “What about Tiffany? Aren’t you still interested in her?”

“Mate, motorbike.” David gestured to where Jess had gone over to Alex and they were talking. “Fuck Tiffany!”

Kyle shook his head, amused. “You know… Alex said she was trans, too.”

David’s eyes went big as saucers and then he was grinning. “Fuck Tiffany.”

-

Gaz was cut off by Price firing the sniper rifle, startling a little. “Great timing, sir.” He grumbled and Price shrugged. “So, I’m guessing we can go, now?”

“Finally. I was worried I might actually have to listen to the rest of the story.” Price started to get up. 

Gaz rolled his eyes. “Admit it, you’re secretly interested in it.”

“Nope. Not one bit, Sergeant.” Price pat his shoulder. “Come on, let’s go back.”

Gaz shook his head, not hurt. He knew Price was just fucking with him. “Alright, sir.”

--

I have a pretty funny plan for the little scenes outside of the actual storytelling, ngl

Do you want to be added to this taglist? Reply to this post that you wish to be added to the taglist and I will start to tag you in it every time I post it. You can also use this form!

AU:

@elevenclouds

Gazalex:

@the_pluto_828 @Humanmilkerr @lieutenant-storm

[saintship]

And you don’t seem to understand

Graves x reader

Song fic request: I deleted the “song requests open” post without copying the requester’s user like a dumbass! If this was your request please comment so I can tag you

Pairing: Graves x reader

Songs: Work Song - Hozier, Duvet - Bôa

Reader pronouns: They/She

Callsign: Red

“RIGHT, MORONS!”

Price’s booming tone commanded the attention of the briefing room as he walked in, cradling several maps in his arms. He passed by Soap, who leaned down to speak to the soldier at his side.

“Remind me not to practice my jokes on him.”

They smiled and laughed quietly, careful to not alerts their Captain.

Across the table, Graves had abandoned the rocking of his heels in favor of staring daggers to the two ahead of him. Seeing Soap lean in her ear, watching her smile, it was all he could do to tear his gaze away.

“We’ve got the exact location of this intel—problem is, it’s 40 meters underwater in the Indian Ocean.” Price pointed out a mark on the map in front of him with a small knife. “Our heli will be a massive, noisy target for the time it takes to dive down there, so we need all hands on deck to defend it while our lovely new private—" he pointed with his knife once more, “and Graves retrieve the goods.”

“The rookie’s going down there?” Ghost huffed.

“Callsign Red, sir.” They murmured.

“Sorry?”

“Red,” Price interrupted the standoff, “has more diving experience than any of us, and Graves is our best choice for handling underwater explosives. Problem?”

Ghost adjusted his weight where he stood. “No, sir.”

“Right. Get your shit together, we leave in fifteen.”

“Yes sir.” The room chorused together. Price took his supplies with him, leaving the briefing room to prepare the helicopter.

Murmured jokes and teasing were all that filled the silence of the equipment room, Red inadvertently listening as they suited up. Helmet came last, of which the latch was not cooperating.

“You need some help there, honey?” Graves was adjusting his wrist guards as he approached.

“No..” she struggled with the latch, eventually huffing and dropping her hands to her sides.

“There nothin’ you can do, it’s tangled.” Graves flipped open a pocket knife and tilted her head, cutting the intertwined strap loose. “Just get a new one.”

Freeing herself from the helmet, they set it down with the other damaged equipment and found a replacement.

“So, Red, what’s with that name? First ever soldier to shoot something?”

Gaz stifled a laugh at Ghost’s comment.

“It’s after the submarine.” they replied easily.

Graves furrowed his brow. “Red October?”

“Exactly.”

Ghost grunted, clearly still waiting to be impressed. The rest of the team returned to their own conversations, while Graves watched Red closely.

“Don’t let em’ scare you. We’re all secretly glad to have a break from each other with a new member.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” Red grinned. “So, you’ve got your hands on explosives in the water before?”

Graves sighed good-naturedly. “I have. Not to say I haven’t had some close calls. Comes with the territory.”

“I’m sure it does.”

“Will you two stop eye-fucking and get to the hangar?” Ghost lingered in the doorway to shout at them, Soap’s cackling at his assumption echoing down the hall behind him.

“We’re-" Red stood up, adjusting their backpack.

“That is..” Graves trailed off, itching the back of his head

“We’re not.”

Ghost damn near rolled his eyes at the two, leaving the doorway to let them trail behind. Red followed quickly, Graves going after them.

“This is the spot.” Price signaled to the pilot to hover over the water, rising from his seat. Red and Graves had gotten the chance to pull on their wetsuits and waterproof armor, along with headgear and an oxygen tank.

“You look daft, Graves.” Soap shook his head, grinning.

“Thank you.”

“No- that was-"

“Just leave him be.” Red sighed.

The side door slid open, revealing the howling wind and the raging water below them that appeared darker than the night sky. Stars glittered above them, and Red nearly got distracted before Ghost shoved a handful of rope into her arms, doing the same for Graves. The rope had a clip on either end, which they hooked to their waists and to two indents installed into the ledge. They lowered themselves partially, letting the slack dangle toward the freezing water. The sole of their boots sank below the surface.

“Touching water, Captain.” Graves spoke into comms.

“Go ahead.”

With a faint click of metal, they both detached themselves and plunged underwater, kicking to turn over and begin swimming down. Their headlights offered some guidance, leading them to a cave that hid a door. The surrounding coral guarded a capstan. Red saw Graves’ eyes through his goggles look to her, at which she nodded. He tried a few buttons on the panel before one glowed green, and the doorway slid open. The both of them were sucked into an airlock space, Graves managing to hit the button on the other side and shut the door before the water filled the space. The escaped water drained into the center of the floor, heavy breathing filling the silence. They pulled off their headgear, Red stepping forward to yank open the second door. They stepped through, weapons on a swivel.

“Entry’s clear, Cap.” Graves muttered.

“Files should be in the room at the end of the hall.”

The mission almost went smoothly—they swept the neighboring rooms with little incident, save a few security agents that really didn’t understand their job. The glass case that held the files was the problem.

“It’s not gonna budge.”

Red sighed, giving up on twisting the bolts with their knife. “Get ready to run, then.”

“What?”

Red aimed and shattered the glass with her bullet, digging through the enclosed office before racing out past Graves with the files.

“Come on!”

Alarms blared in their ears, and the hall lights flashed red.

“Are you insane?”

“Yes!”

“Price, requesting pickup, NOW!”

“On it.”

“I hear them.” Red glanced to the wall she ran beside, shouting and scuffling echoing through the underwater chamber.

“Stop where you are!” A man stepped out from an open doorway, gun raised at Red.

“You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into, sweeth-”

He couldn’t finish his sentence before he fell back wildly, ropes of crimson spraying the wall. Red turned to see Graves’ pistol raised, his eyes dark.

“I’m the only one who calls you that.”

“What?”

“Come on.” Graves gently ushered her along, checking behind them and guarding her from every new corner.

“Gaz is tracking you now, the airlock in front of you should be the one you came through. We’re right where you were dropped off.”

“There.” Red forced the airlock door open, beginning to shut it before pausing.

“What’re you waiting for?”

Red blinked, looking to her colleague. “These guys are terrorists, right?”

Graves’ brow furrowed. “Yes?”

Red let the door hang open, starting for the one that led into the ocean.

“Hold on,” Graves held her back with a gloved hand to her shoulder. “You’re going to drown them?”

“Did you read the report? They’re terrible people. And this is pretty much their home base.” Red sighed. “I know it’s—I’m horrible, but,”

“You’re not.” Graves leaned down so she’d meet his eyes, letting the other hand come up to mirror the one resting on her shoulder. His thumbs traces arcs over the damp fabric. “You’re not horrible, Red.”

The space they stood in seemed smaller and warmer than before. Red couldn’t help but glance over his features, his eyes, the scar on his cheek, his lips.

The moment was tragically broken by more shouting and running in the distance, to which they broke apart as if the other were a hot iron.

“I’ll—I’ll cover you.” Red held up her rifle, trying to shield the blush that warmed her face. They both re-equipped their goggles and mouthpiece.

“Right.” Graves started on the Capstan, the metal creaking awfully.

Red picked off threats as they revealed themselves, until the group began to thin, and Graves finally shoved the door open. Freezing water crashed around their legs, shocking Red’s nerves all over again. They forced their way back into open water, kicking their way to the surface. The air was warmer than the water, a soothing thing to break the surface to. The heli loomed above them, a beacon in the dark night.

Graves spit out his mouthpiece. “Price, deploy ladder!”

“Deploying!”

The ladder whisked through the air before snapping to a halt like a wiry insect.

“You get up first, I’ll help you.”

Red was too cold to protest, allowing Graves to lift her hips up toward the first rung. He handled them gently, as if they were a civilian he was evacuating. Red felt the weight on the ladder of Graves following her, and as soon as she collapsed onto the helicopter floor, she twisted back around and put his arms around her neck to pull him up.

“Hell of a job!” Soap beamed as he pulled up the ladder.

“You could say that.” Red panted.

“You did good work. I want to see those files.” Price crossed his arms.

“In here.” Red pulled off her sealed backpack, setting it aside for Price.

A quiet base was a welcome form of peace after a mission like that, but as much as Red longed to fall into bed after a hot shower, there was something unfinished lingering between her and Graves. He was heading the showers himself when she stopped him.

“Graves?” She called out, walking up to him. He stopped, turning to look at her with those eyes that made her want to collapse to the floor. “Hey.”

“Hey.” She slowed, her hands raising in front of her so she could pick at a withering nail. “So, in the airlock-"

“I am so sorry about that.” Graves interrupted her, gently setting down what he was holding. “It was unprofessional, and—I just, I messed up. I’m sorry.”

He looked more broken than she’d ever seen him.

“It’s okay.” She murmured. His outstretched hand curled into itself, confused.

“What’re you sayin’?”

Hearing his drawl deepen given his exhaustion, Red couldn’t help the smile that pulled at their features. “I love the way you talk.”

Graves sighed at the compliment, stepping closer carefully. “Where’s this comin’ from?”

Her smile resigned into a relaxed expression as she looked to the floor. “I guess I just—I just really like being around you. You’re good at what you do, and you’re kind to me. You could have easily brushed me off the day we met but you didn’t. I haven’t forgotten that.”

“Red.” He whispered. His shoulders moved with how quickly he was drawing breath.

“Tell me to walk away.” Red whispered back. “Tell me to go back to my barracks.”

The air between them was thick enough to swim through. Graves stepped just a bit closer, their noses nearly brushing together.

“I don’t want you to.” He reached around to cradle her back in his hand, the heat piercing through her shirt and closing her throat. His nose nudged against hers.

“Philip..”

He kissed her. Gradually, carefully. It was not a symphony of teeth and tongue, rather a confession. With the hand not on her back, he held the back of her head gently, like they were a precious statue. At some point, Red’s back bumped the wall, causing them to pull back and their eyes to open slowly.

“Darlin’..”

“You’re a good kisser, Graves.” Red breathed. Graves emitted a noise low in his throat before returning to their lips, stepping forward so he was leaning down further than before to kiss them. Her hands held the back of his neck gently, careful to not press her thumbs too firmly into the tender muscles. Graves begrudgingly pulled away to study her face, his lids low on his eyes.

His voice dropped with a gravel quality from speaking so quietly.

“Please do that every day until I die.”

“If you insist.”

fin.

[consumeroflemoans]

Oh yeah, I think Vilidia beach stuff would probably be cute as hell

The general shit like swimwear, feeling the warm sand, using a towel as a big blanket, looking at fish and rocks underwater, literally just sitting there next to the ocean and watching the water and talking I do specifically like to think that Vil would either help Idia learn swimming or at least floating or drag him through the water a bit while he holds on to some kind of float, maybe he gets a swimming board so he can paddle along

And the sunburn, oh dear, the sunburn

Of course also usable is how close Idia has been to the ocean all his life without ever touching it and I'm not sure how far down the Isle of Woe is, but I imagine we're talking deep territory, deep enough to see some weird creatures down there

Underwater ecosystems can get wild, imagine looking out of your window and seeing a handfish walk around outside before the ground swallows it up and swims away, a gulper eel repeatedly bumping into the glass like a pigeon

Eating ice cream at the beach while your boyfriend tells you about the unknown to men that lurk within the waters

Hating raw fish together is simply the backbone of any romantic relationship

I also feel the need to tell you that I just got an ad for bitcoin on your blog and it read: "Bitcoin Hyperdeflation, experience rapid and sustained price decrease with Bitcoin. Join the trend today!" and I think that's very fitting considering capitalist (submissive)

Aughhh oh my gosh them in beachwear. Vil either in swimwear or like a loose beach shirt?? Peak. (Even though I feel like he’d be the kind of guy to wear a wetsuit to the beach for extra skin protection)

Vil’s looking like his perfect model self meanwhile there’s a scrawny, pale ass man beside him that’s burnt to a crisp in seconds despite the layers of sunscreen Vil put on him.

Also I love the thought of Idia opening up about his childhood now that there is someone he can talk to about the Isle of Woe. Everything’s supposed to be classified, but Vil’s memory can’t exactly be wiped. I think he’d find living underwater pretty cool at times and he’d ramble about all the weird creatures he’s seen.

Omg actually. Side tangent. I can see the two of them despising the feeling of sand together. It’s a sensory problem for me personally and I think it’d be the same for Idia at times. Vil just doesn’t like it because it gets literally everywhere and he doesn’t feel very clean after the beach. Swimming is fun, but the space between is less fun.

Also I can see Vil being in love with having fruit smoothies or coconut milk by the beach. I remember going to a really obscure beach once on vacation with mostly only locals on it. There was an absolutely incredible fresh fruit juice stand that I think Vil would have loved.

And as a capitalist (submissive) I personally do not invest in bitcoin and instead only invest in men that will take my money with a 100% guarantee. /j

[frogsdeservecereal]

Jaws the shark! Lurking in the dark of the depths of sea, one day on a lark Decides to get rowdy, get real violent Takes a vay-cay up to Amity Island

Sunshine lotion fun in sun Blood in the ocean, everybody run 'Cause it's crazy how few fucks this shark gives He'll eat naked ladies, he'll eat little kids! Oh, no!

But the one thing keeping the community safe Is a guy named Brody and his pal Richard Dreyfuss Jaws don't know that a storm's gonna come He just wants everyone to be his chum, get it, get it

The mayor don't care if the townsfolk die He doesn't want to spoil the fourth of July He's like, "Everyone cool it, and go for swim!" But holy shit here comes that fin!

Jaws is here Here is Jaws (He is a shark without a cause) He was in a movie you should watch it it's called Jaws Jaws is here Here is Jaws (He is a shark who fights the law) He was in a movie that everyone saw

Long story short, the beach gets closed The mayor's like, "Okay, yeah, this blows" Suddenly Jaws has got a price on his head But the wrong little shark baby ends up dead

It was Jaws' little brother, now he's pissed The mayor just shot to the top of his list He sneaks in his house in the middle of the night And he eats that fucker in a single bite Golly

Now the mayor's dead, so Brody's in charge He knows the real killer is still at large So he and the Dreyfuss make a decision They're going on a mission They're gonna go fishing For Jaws

A man named Quint lets them use his boat On the condition that he be the one to cut Jaws' throat 'Cause he was a sailor back in World War II And Jaws ate his entire crew, woah!

Jaws is here Here is Jaws (He is a shark without a cause) He was in a movie, a movie called Jaws! Jaws is here Here is Jaws (He is a shark who fights the law) He was in a movie that everyone saw

They're out on the sea, they wait all night Where could Jaws be? He's no where in sight Dreyfuss decides to go down in a cage And Jaws shows up in a full on rage

He tears up the cage like paper in a shredder While Dreyfuss's makes his wetsuit wetter He hides behind a rock like cowardly prick And he doesn't come back until the end of the flick

Brody's like, "We're gonna need a bigger boat" So they go home and get a bigger boat The biggest boat that's ever sailed Gonna kick Jaws' ass or I guess his tail, yeah his tail

But, oh, my shit! Jaws jumps out and Quint gets bit! Right in half like a kit-kat bar! Up in the sky there's a shooting star That's Quint up in heaven, he's a star now

Brody's angry, he's all like, "Fuck it" He takes a harpoon and welds it to a rocket Jaws' last words are, "Woah, respect" Then he explodes and it's a pretty good effect, yeah!

Jaws is dead Long live Jaws (He was a shark without a cause) He was in a movie, you should watch it, it's called Jaws JAWS IS DEAD LONG LIVE JAWS (He was a shark who fought the law) He was in a movie that everyone saw (He was in a movie that everyone saw) He was in a movie that everyone saw

Jaws is dead Long live Jaws (He was a shark without a cause) He was in a movie, called Jaws (Jaws is dead) At the Academy Awards (Long live Jaws) He was robbed (He was a shark without a cause) Sharks exist in real life, woah (He was in a movie that everyone saw) Jaws is dead Long live jaws

pissy

[saltedsolenoid]

Jaws the shakr lurki in the dark of the deoths of the seanone day on a alrk decides to get rowdy get real violentntakes a vacaynup toa kity island sunshine lotion fun in the sun blood in thenocean everybody run cuz kts crazy how few fucks is shark gives hell eat naked ladies hell eat little kids Oh No

but the one thung keeeping the community safe is a guy named Brody and his pal Richard Draffis Jaws dont know that a storms gonna come he just wants everyone to eb his um (get it. get it)

The Mayor dont care if the townsfokk die he doesnt want to spoil the fourth of july hes like everyone cool it snd go for a swim but HOLY SHIT HERE COMES THAT FIN SAYING

Jaws is here

Here is Jaws

He is a Shark eithout a cause

He was in a movue you should watch it its called Jaws

Jaws is here!

Here is Jaws

He was a shark who fights the law

He was in a movie that everyone saw

long atory short the beach gets closed the mayors like okay yeah is blwos. suddenly jaws has git a price on his head! but the wrong luttle shark baby ends up DEAD! its was jawss little brother! now hes PISSSED! THE MAYOR JUST SHOT TO THE TOP OF HIS LIST! He sneaks into his house in the middle of the night AND. EATS THAT FUCKER IN A SINGLE BITE

Golly

noe the mayorss DEAD, so BRODYS IN CHARGE he knows the rwa killer is still at large so he and THE DRAYFUSS make a decision theyre going on a mission theyre gonna go FIAHING

FOR JAWS

a man named Quint lefs them use his boat on the condition that he be the one to cutjaws throat cuz he was a sailor back in world war 2 and jaws ate his entire crewa

Jaws is here!

Here is jaws!

he was a shark without a cause

he waa din a movie you shdould watch. its called jaws

JAWS IS HERE

Here is Jaws!

He was a shark who figutht the law

He was in a movie that everyone saw

Theyre out on the sea

They wait all night

Where coukd jaws be? hes nowhere in sight

Dreafuss deecides.to go down in a cage, ADN JAWSNSHOWS UP IN A FULL ON RAGE!

HE TEARS UO THE CAGW LIKE.PAPER IN A SHREDDER EHILE DREDFUSS MAKES HI WETSUIT WETTER HE HIDES BEHIND A ROCKNLIKE A COWARDLY PRICK AJD HE DOESNT COME BAVK TIL THE ENDNOF THE FLVIK

Brodys like "WERE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOat" si they go back home and get a bigger boat the biggebboat thats ever sailed GONNA KICK JAWS ASS or i gues. his tail? yeah his tail but OH MY S H I T!!!!!! JAWS comes.out and QUINT gets bit RIGHT IN HALF LIKE A KIT KAT BAR! up in heaven theres a shootimg star. thats wuint. up in heaven. hes a star now

Brodys ANGRY, hes all like FUVK IT he takes a harpoon and wrlds i tot a rocket!

jaws last words are "owah, respect" then he explodes and its a pretty cool effevt yeah

JAWS IS DEAD

LONG LIVE JAWS

HE WAS A ADHARK EIOUT A CAUSE

HE WA SIN A MOVIE YOU SHOULD WATHC IT ITS CALLED JAWS

JAWS IS DEAD

LONG.LIVE JAWS

HE WAS A SHARK THAT FOUGHT THE LAW

HE WAS IN A MOVIE THAT EVERYONE SAW

H E W A S I N A M O V I E T H A T E V E R Y O N E S A W!!!!!!!!!!

HE WAS IN A MOVIENTHAT EVERYONE SAW

JAWS IS DEAD

LONLIVE JAWS

HE WAS A SHARK WIHTJOUT A CAUSE

HE WAS IN A MOBIE, VALLED J A W S!

jaws is dead

AT THE ACADEMY AWARDS

long luve jaws

HE WAS ROBBRD

he was a shark wiout a cause

SHARKS EXIST IN REAL LIFE (WOAH!)

HE WAS IN A MOVIE THAT EVERYONE SAW

JAWS IS DEAD

LONG LIVE JAWS

...so who's this jaws guy again?

[shapeshivvter]

Wyd when I publics displays affection? Huh?😈

Jaws the shark! Lurking in the dark of the depths of sea, one day on a lark, decides to get rowdy! Get real violent! Takes a vay-cay up to Amity island! Sunshine, lotion, fun in the sun! Blood in the ocean, everybody run! Cause its crazy how few fucks this shark gives, he'll eat naked ladies! He'll eat little kids! Oh no!!

(wicked mini instrumental bit)

But the one think keeping the community safe is a guy named Brody and his pal Richard Dreyfuss! Jaws dont know that a storms gonna come! He jsut wants everyone to be his chum! get it? get it??? The mayor dont care if the townsfolk die, he doesnt wanna spoil the fourth of July! He's like, "Everyone cool it, and go for a swim!" but holy SHIT here comes that fin, singin' Jaws is here! Here is Jaws! (He is a shark without a cause!) He was in a movie, you should watch it its called jaws!! Jaws is here! Here is Jaws! (He is a shark that fights the law!) He was in a movie that everyone saw!)

Long story short, the beach gets closed, the mayors like "Okay yeah, this blows." Suddenly, Jaws got a price on his head, but the wrong little shark baby end up dead!

It was Jaws little brother!

Now he's pissed.

The mayor just shot to the top of his list! He sneaks in his house in the middle of the night, and he EATS that FUCKER in a SINGLE BITE!!!

Golly!

(more instrumental music, before being accompanied by a vocal ditty;)

Do-do-do-do-be-do-doo-doo, skoobihdu do-do-do- doo!

Now the mayors dead, so Brodys in charge! He knows the real killer is still at large! So he and the Dreyfuss make a decision, they're going on a mission, they're gonna go fishin'!

for jaws!

A man named Quint lets him use his boat, on the condition that he'd be the one to cut jaws throat, cause he was a sailor back in world war 2, and jaws ate his ENTIRE CREW! WOAH!!!

Jaws is here! Here is Jaws! (He is a shark without a cause!) He was in a movie! A movie called jaws!!! Jaws is here! (A-ah!) Here is jaws! (a-ah!) Woah-oh-oh, (He is a shark who fights the law!) He was in a movie that EVERYONE saw!

They're out on the sea.

they wait all night.

where could jaws be?

he's nowhere in sight!

Dreyfuss decides to go in a cage, and jaws shows up in a full-on rage!!

He tears up the cage like paper in a shredder, while Dreyfuss makes his wetsuit wetter!!! He hides behind a rock like a cowardly prick and he doesnt come back untill the end of the flick!!!! Brodys like "WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOAT!!!" So they go back home and get a bigger boat!! The biggest boat thats ever sailed!! gonna kick jaws ass, or i guess, his tail. ..Yeah his tail.

but oh my SHIT!!! Jaws jumps out, and Quint gets bit!!! right in half like a kit-kat bar!!! Up in the sky, theres a shooting star- That's quint, up in heaven, he's a star now.

Brody's angry, he's all like "FUCK IT." He takes a harpoon and welds it to a rocket!!! Jaws last words are;

"Woah, respect."

Then he explodes and its a pretty good effect, yeah! Jaws is dead! long live jaws! (He was a shark without a cause!) He was in a movie, you should watch it, its called jaws! JAWS IS DEAD! (A-ah!) Long live jaws! (A-ah!) (He was a shark who fought the law!) He was in a movie that everyone saw!

(He was in a movie that everyone saw!)

He was in a movie that everyone saw!! Jaws is dead! (A-ah!) Long live Jawss.. (A-ah!) (He was a shark without a cause!)

He was in a movie, Called JAWS!!

(Jaws is deadd) At the academy awardss!!!! (Long live jawss!!) He was robbed!!

He was a shark without a cause! Sharks exist, in real life!! Woah!!!

(HE WAS IN A MOVIE THAT EVERYONE SAWW!) Jaws is dead, long live jaws!

(song ends with an instrumental)

[freebooter4ever]

So, surfing \o/

I've daydreamed about it since i was a kid, and had this romantic image of it from like kate b*sworth and r*ip girls, and watching televised competitions. And i honestly never imagined i would ever get to try - lessons are so expensive. I was shocked when my friend offered to teach me, and lent me a practice board. He was awesome, so patient, and answered all my silly questions. And hung out there in the water, 'pushing' the board when it was time for me to try and catch the wave (TRY lol i mostly failed).

But unlike a few years ago, when i got onto a dirt bike for the first time and suddenly discovered something i'd been missing my entire life, yesterday didn't quite live up to the daydream.

For one thing i underestimated how hard it would be for me. My friend who was teaching me said i was a natural but at no point did i feel any confidence on the board, it was mostly a blur of panic lol. I was also shamefully freezing - im used to cold, i prefer the cold here in LA, and back in seattle the water was NEVER warm and they used to make us go swimming at like 5am in 60 degree water. I felt like i should have been used to cold water. But no, lol, instead i was so cold i was shivering. And trying to ignore it, but eventually it got so bad that my friend noticed and gently suggested that we take a break (and then i was like no once more, and then face planted, and popped up and said NO ONE MORE that didnt count)

When we finally did make it to shore we sat there for at least an hour - i pulled the wetsuit top off and bundled up in the towel, and i just couldnt get warm, it was ridiculous -_- the chill went down into my bones like it used to during seattle rain. I was so embarrassed. I dont think i stopped shivering until i got home and bundled up in my chair in the pengu*n's jersey - which its been too hot to even think about putting that on for months now.

I do want to try again - i need to work on my arms a bit i think lmao. But i also asked my friend if could just hang out on the beach and watch him and his buddies surf while i brought my sketchbook which, if im REALLY honest, is probably more my speed. When I was younger I probably would have had a better chance at this.

Thats the thing about all these extreme sports - skiing we could never afford when i was a kid, surfing was over 2 hrs away by car and ferry and required all that equipment, i was quite good at wakeboarding but it was my friends who owned the wakeboard and the speedboat so my opportunities were limited by whenever they invited me, and despite dirt bike riding feeling as if it was the song 'daylight' come to life i took one look at the monthly price tag this 'hobby' would cost and quickly assessed it was out of reach lol.

I actually did vaguely ask my friend about that - his passion for surfing. Cause listening to him describe it, and how dedicated he is to it, made me realize its how i feel about art. (my friend was scandalized when i said this was the first time i made it to the beach all summer, and that i hardly spent any time going out in LA, and that i hadn't been to any of the theme parks since moving here - he was like 'what have you been doing?' - and the answer is, sadly, just sitting in my room drawing mostly). I will give up all the 'hobby's in the world in order to afford more time to draw. Wish my dedication showed a bit more in my skill level :/

[randy-jade-4ever]

Jaws the shark!

Lurking in the dark of the depths of sea, one day on a lark

Decides to get rowdy, get real violent

Takes a vay-cay up to Amity Island

Sunshine lotion fun in sun

Blood in the ocean, everybody run

'Cause it's crazy how few fucks this shark gives

He'll eat naked ladies, he'll eat little kids!

Oh, no!

But the one thing keeping the community safe

Is a guy named Brody and his pal Richard Dreyfuss

Jaws don't know that a storm's gonna come

He just wants everyone to be his chum, get it, get it

The mayor don't care if the townsfolk die

He doesn't want to spoil the fourth of July

He's like, "Everyone cool it, and go for swim!"

But holy shit here comes that fin!

Jaws is here

Here is Jaws

(He is a shark without a cause)

He was in a movie you should watch it it's called Jaws

Jaws is here

Here is Jaws

(He is a shark who fights the law)

He was in a movie that everyone saw

Long story short, the beach gets closed

The mayor's like, "Okay, yeah, this blows"

Suddenly Jaws has got a price on his head

But the wrong little shark baby ends up dead

It was Jaws' little brother, now he's pissed

The mayor just shot to the top of his list

He sneaks in his house in the middle of the night

And he eats that fucker in a single bite

Golly

Now the mayor's dead, so Brody's in charge

He knows the real killer is still at large

So he and the Dreyfuss make a decision

They're going on a mission

They're gonna go fishing

For Jaws

A man named Quint lets them use his boat

On the condition that he be the one to cut Jaws' throat

'Cause he was a sailor back in World War II

And Jaws ate his entire crew, woah!

Jaws is here

Here is Jaws

(He is a shark without a cause)

He was in a movie, a movie called Jaws!

Jaws is here

Here is Jaws

(He is a shark who fights the law)

He was in a movie that everyone saw

They're out on the sea, they wait all night

Where could Jaws be? He's no where in sight

Dreyfuss decides to go down in a cage

And Jaws shows up in a full on rage

He tears up the cage like paper in a shredder

While Dreyfuss's makes his wetsuit wetter

He hides behind a rock like cowardly prick

And he doesn't come back until the end of the flick

Brody's like, "We're gonna need a bigger boat"

So they go home and get a bigger boat

The biggest boat that's ever sailed

Gonna kick Jaws' ass or I guess his tail, yeah his tail

But, oh, my shit!

Jaws jumps out and Quint gets bit!

Right in half like a kit-kat bar!

Up in the sky there's a shooting star

That's Quint up in heaven, he's a star now

Brody's angry, he's all like, "Fuck it"

He takes a harpoon and welds it to a rocket

Jaws' last words are, "Woah, respect"

Then he explodes and it's a pretty good effect, yeah!

Jaws is dead

Long live Jaws

(He was a shark without a cause)

He was in a movie, you should watch it, it's called Jaws

JAWS IS DEAD

LONG LIVE JAWS

(He was a shark who fought the law)

He was in a movie that everyone saw

(He was in a movie that everyone saw)

He was in a movie that everyone saw

Jaws is dead

Long live Jaws

(He was a shark without a cause)

He was in a movie, called Jaws

(Jaws is dead)

At the Academy Awards

(Long live Jaws)

He was robbed

(He was a shark without a cause)

Sharks exist in real life, woah

(He was in a movie that everyone saw)

Jaws is dead

Long live jaws

I love running an ask blog because I just get this in my inbox and then I have no idea what to say.

[sansuusilly]

Jaws the shark!

Lurking in the dark of the depths of sea, one day on a lark

Decides to get rowdy, get real violent

Takes a vay-cay up to Amity Island

Sunshine lotion fun in sun

Blood in the ocean, everybody run

'Cause it's crazy how few fucks this shark gives

He'll eat naked ladies, he'll eat little kids!

Oh, no!

But the one thing keeping the community safe

Is a guy named Brody and his pal Richard Dreyfuss

Jaws don't know that a storm's gonna come

He just wants everyone to be his chum, get it, get it

The mayor don't care if the townsfolk die

He doesn't want to spoil the fourth of July

He's like, "Everyone cool it, and go for swim!"

But holy shit here comes that fin!

Jaws is here

Here is Jaws

(He is a shark without a cause)

He was in a movie you should watch it it's called Jaws

Jaws is here

Here is Jaws

(He is a shark who fights the law)

He was in a movie that everyone saw

Long story short, the beach gets closed

The mayor's like, "Okay, yeah, this blows"

Suddenly Jaws has got a price on his head

But the wrong little shark baby ends up dead

It was Jaws' little brother, now he's pissed

The mayor just shot to the top of his list

He sneaks in his house in the middle of the night

And he eats that fucker in a single bite

Golly

Now the mayor's dead, so Brody's in charge

He knows the real killer is still at large

So he and the Dreyfuss make a decision

They're going on a mission

They're gonna go fishing

For Jaws

A man named Quint lets them use his boat

On the condition that he be the one to cut Jaws' throat

'Cause he was a sailor back in World War II

And Jaws ate his entire crew, woah!

Jaws is here

Here is Jaws

(He is a shark without a cause)

He was in a movie, a movie called Jaws!

Jaws is here

Here is Jaws

(He is a shark who fights the law)

He was in a movie that everyone saw

They're out on the sea, they wait all night

Where could Jaws be? He's no where in sight

Dreyfuss decides to go down in a cage

And Jaws shows up in a full on rage

He tears up the cage like paper in a shredder

While Dreyfuss's makes his wetsuit wetter

He hides behind a rock like cowardly prick

And he doesn't come back until the end of the flick

Brody's like, "We're gonna need a bigger boat"

So they go home and get a bigger boat

The biggest boat that's ever sailed

Gonna kick Jaws' ass or I guess his tail, yeah his tail

But, oh, my shit!

Jaws jumps out and Quint gets bit!

Right in half like a kit-kat bar!

Up in the sky there's a shooting star

That's Quint up in heaven, he's a star now

Brody's angry, he's all like, "Fuck it"

He takes a harpoon and welds it to a rocket

Jaws' last words are, "Woah, respect"

Then he explodes and it's a pretty good effect, yeah!

Jaws is dead

Long live Jaws

(He was a shark without a cause)

He was in a movie, you should watch it, it's called Jaws

JAWS IS DEAD

LONG LIVE JAWS

(He was a shark who fought the law)

He was in a movie that everyone saw

(He was in a movie that everyone saw)

He was in a movie that everyone saw

Jaws is dead

Long live Jaws

(He was a shark without a cause)

He was in a movie, called Jaws

(Jaws is dead)

At the Academy Awards

(Long live Jaws)

He was robbed

(He was a shark without a cause)

Sharks exist in real life, woah

(He was in a movie that everyone saw)

Jaws is dead

Long live jaws

jaws the shark

img is low qual bcs tumblr doesnt accept over 10mb worth of images

[strengervinay]

Scuba in Pondicherry: Your All-Inclusive Escape!

For those seeking a thrilling underwater adventure, scuba in Pondicherry is an experience not to be missed. This coastal town is one of India’s top destinations for diving, offering stunning underwater landscapes, diverse marine life, and crystal-clear waters, making it a dream location for both beginners and seasoned divers.

Universal Adventures, a trusted name in adventure sports, provides an array of Pondicherry diving packages tailored to fit various preferences and experience levels. Dive in and explore the wonders of Pondicherry’s vibrant waters with these all-inclusive packages, crafted to offer an unforgettable underwater experience.

Why is Pondicherry the Ideal Destination for Scuba Diving? 

Pondicherry, with its pristine beaches and vibrant marine biodiversity, is an ideal spot for scuba diving in India. Its coastal waters are home to a range of fascinating marine species, including lionfish, groupers, parrotfish, and stunning coral formations.

Diving in Pondicherry lets you uncover some of India’s best-kept underwater secrets in a safe and serene setting. Whether you’re a beginner or an experienced diver, scuba diving in Pondicherry promises an unforgettable adventure.

Scuba Diving Packages with Universal Adventures

Universal Adventures offers two main scuba diving programs in Pondicherry, designed to suit various preferences and levels of commitment. With clear scuba diving charges, each program provides a unique way to explore Pondicherry’s marine beauty:

            1.         Scuba Diving - 1 Day Program

            •           Price: ₹6499 per person

            •           Ideal for: Those looking for a quick and thrilling introduction to diving

This program is perfect for beginners or travellers with limited time. It offers an introductory dive that covers the basics, allowing you to get a taste of Pondicherry’s underwater world in just one day.

            2.         Scuba Diving - 2 Days Program

This extended program is perfect for those who want a more immersive diving experience. With an affordable scuba diving price of ₹6499, you’ll enjoy two days of diving sessions, allowing you ample time to explore Pondicherry’s vibrant marine ecosystems and develop your diving skills.        

How to Book Scuba Diving in Pondicherry? 

            1.         Select Package & Date: Click “Book Now,” choose your date, and number of travelers.

            2.         Enter Details: Fill in the passenger info form.

            3.         Complete Payment: Pay to confirm your booking.

            4.         Need Help: Call us at 8533812266 with any questions.

Once confirmed, we’ll send you location and pickup details. Enjoy an unforgettable scuba adventure!

Top Tips for Your Pondicherry Diving Adventure

            •           Book in Advance: Scuba diving spots fill up quickly, especially during peak tourist seasons. Booking ahead ensures your place.

            •           Wear Comfortable Swimwear: Since you’ll be wearing a wetsuit, opt for comfortable, fitted swimwear underneath.

            •           Stay Hydrated: Diving can be dehydrating, so drink plenty of water before and after your session.

            •           Avoid Alcohol Before Diving: For safety reasons, avoid drinking alcohol the night before your dive.

            •           Listen to Your Instructor: Pay close attention to the safety instructions and diving tips provided by your instructor. This will help you feel more confident underwater and ensure a safe, enjoyable experience.

Your Ultimate Scuba Experience Awaits in Pondicherry

Scuba diving in Pondicherry offers an all-inclusive escape into India’s vibrant underwater world. With trusted providers like Universal Adventures, you’re assured a safe, enjoyable, and unforgettable experience as you explore thriving marine life and breathtaking coral formations.

Whether you’re new to diving or a seasoned adventurer, Pondicherry promises a unique and captivating dive that’ll leave you with lifelong memories. Dive in and discover the magic beneath the waves on your next trip!