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megwritesriddles · 1 month ago

Text

Secret's Safe ༊*·˚

18+ MDNI !!!

Pairing: Tom Riddle x Fem! Reader / You

Summary: Kinktober 2024 Day 15 - Blackmail. Reader discovers Riddle's true blood status and divulges this information to him. Riddle assumes she must be here to blackmail him and immediately attempts to seduce her, but things aren't all that simple for him actually going through with it.

Tags: Blackmail, Mildly dubious consent (barely), P in V sex, Biting, Virgin!Tom (implied), Pureblood politics, Sexism, Implied/Referenced death, murder and violence, Unspoken feelings, Feelings realisation, Oddly quite fluffy, Tom is forced to be vulnerable emotionally.

Word count: 5.5k

Read it on ao3! | Masterlist

Authors note: Lets not discuss how long this is or how late it is, thank you!! This ended up way different than I imagined going in, Tom is a bad guy in this like he's committed murders... but he's also inexperienced and realises he loves you so... This is nowhere near as dark as I thought it would be, the blackmail is barely blackmail!! Hope you like it mwah ( ◕◡◕)っ ♡

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Well, this was certainly interesting. You’d never expected this, but the more you thought about it, the more it made sense. The surname Riddle had never sounded familiar to you, and growing up, at all the Pureblood parties, no one had ever met Tom or any supposed family members. After the first year, he had started attending, but never with any family in tow, usually as a guest of Abraxas or somebody else. Why you hadn’t questioned it before you had no idea, you felt rather foolish now. Hindsight was always 20/20. Of course, there were those few pureblood families, like the Weasleys, who didn’t bother about those sorts of events, but Riddle had never given the impression that he came from such a family, always implying very powerful origins. In a way, he wasn’t wrong, with one discovery came another, that he was the heir of Slytherin. This was peripherally problematic to you, but you couldn’t put your finger on why it bothered you so much. Some distant memory writhing in the back of your mind, not making itself known. But the most glaring discovery for you had been Riddle’s muggle father. You were sure nobody knew about this, or else he certainly wouldn’t be in the circles he was in.

The way you had discovered it had been rather unlikely, something Riddle surely wouldn’t have been counting on. You and Walburga were partnered on a project for Advanced Charms, it being the final year of Hogwarts, standards for what you came up with were high. After weeks of deliberation and workshopping, you’d settled on a book which could tell you family histories. Initially, the book’s function was for you to write in a plant name, and to see which other plant species it was closely related to and other pieces of information. Certainly interesting, but a little too Herbology for either of your liking, spitting out information neither of you could quite understand. After presenting the book to Professor Beery for a hefty extra credit and house point sum, you went back to workshopping. You’d figured out one evening how to get it to trace family histories, and this was the perfect idea, as all the information that came out was easy to understand, but could also be deeply valuable. You’d spent all evening fine-tuning it with Walburga. She was intimately familiar with her family history, so you used her as a control, making sure the facts remained accurate as you messed with the magic. It was finally done, and you would be presenting it next week. You’d taken the book back to your dorm and messed around with it before bed, taking great amusement in some of the ancient wizard’s names. Naming conventions had been so odd at some points. You traced practically every single one of your friends' histories, before landing on Riddle’s.

Riddle wasn’t really a friend, as such. You sort of ran in the same circles and you were courteous to one another, but you weren’t close and at times you found him a little irksome. Perhaps it was this mythos that surrounded him, the idea that he had slept with three-quarters of the girls at Hogwarts who were of age. The idea that he could have you undone with one touch and that he did so often. Part of you was almost bitter he hadn’t propositioned you, given how much he allegedly got around, but you always felt he was intimidated by your intelligence. All the other girls, sure they were driven and intelligent, but they seemed to dumb themselves down around him, make themselves smaller. It was probably not even a conscious thing, many of the pureblood girls had been taught growing up never to threaten a man’s ego in any way. You’d always thought this was nonsense, that if you were more intelligent than a man that he ought to know it and needn’t be coddled, but for most of the girls, it just came naturally from a lifetime of training. You never bothered to shrink yourself around Riddle, to giggle and write off your high marks as a fluke if he came asking, you would simply say you did well because you were intelligent, and you guessed he didn’t like this because he avoided you for the most part. Whenever he did speak to you, it was usually to compare grades, or, in a group setting. He always seemed to know just a little too much about what was going on with you, what grades you’d gotten, what teachers you were meeting with. You chalked it up to him being Head Boy, but no one else received quite this much attention.

You wrote down his name into the book anyway, figuring the surname ‘Riddle’ begat some entertaining first names. What immediately greeted you as the information materialised on the page had been a bit of a shock. His father, whose name was otherwise completely unfamiliar to you, did not have any parents listed, or further back. You sat in confusion for a moment trying to figure out why that could be, but came to no conclusions. You pushed the thought away and studied his mother’s heritage. Merope Gaunt. Gaunt, finally a name you recognised, but not a woman you could ever attest to having met at any pureblood events. You realise she’s listed as dead, that would perhaps explain a thing or two. You feel a hint of sympathy creeping over you at the realisation that both his parents are listed as dead, his father only rather recently. You wondered why he hadn’t mentioned to anyone that his father had died over the previous summer. You trace his ancestry back all the way to Salazar Slytherin, momentarily impressed, before the realisation of why his father has no listed relatives hits you. The book was made only to track wizarding blood. His father was a muggle.

The realisation was immediately brushed off. No, there was some other explanation, Riddle was one of the most pompous purebloods you knew, even by your standards, the idea of his father being a muggle was preposterous. You went back over the enchantments on the book, trying to figure out what other reason there might be for his father’s heritage to be blank, but come up empty-handed. He had to be a muggle.

You keep the information to yourself for the next few days, turning it over in your mind. A muggle, it was very hard to believe, especially with how Riddle acted. He probably noticed your staring, but you couldn’t stop yourself from doing it, seeing him in an entirely new light. Tom Riddle, the orphan, the half-blood. It was confusing, to say the least. Your staring problem must have been worse than you thought because one day he sweeps you aside in the Slytherin common room and smiles charmingly.

“Is there an issue?” he prompts politely, eyes drinking in your face. “Only you keep staring,” you blink at him. You’re almost tempted to tell him ‘I know who you are,’ but you keep it inside for now.

“Shouldn’t you be used to that?” you smile. He chuckles slightly.

“I don’t get the feeling you’re merely admiring me,” his eyes study yours for a moment and then he takes hold of your arm, leaning a little closer. “Tell me what it really is,” his voice is low and smooth as velvet, and for a moment you understand his mythos a little better. You glance around the busy common room.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t like me to say it here,” you try to subtly warn him, but he clearly understands this to mean something suggestive, his brow raising.

“I see,”

“If you really must know, then we must go somewhere private,” you insist, knowing how much this could blow up in his face if word spread around the common room. You’re not even sure why you’re shielding him from it, perhaps the revelation of his mother dying in childbirth makes you more gracious toward him. You’re surprised how much he hesitates, given how he’s interpreted the situation. If he’s supposedly slept with most of the girls in the year group, why would it be you who gives him pause? You know you’re not ugly enough for him to be this apprehensive, does he really feel so threatened by you? It all seems odd. Finally, he leads you away, toward his dorm room, private quarters for the Head Boy. You realise how this must all look, to him and to onlookers, but you’re sure he’s in for quite the disappointment when he discovers what this is really about. He gestures for you to sit at his desk and he sits on the edge of his bed. The distance he puts between you intrigues you, what is this about?

“Well?” he urges, swallowing a little. Why is he so anxious? Does he know somehow already? You’ve never seen him like this before.

“This really isn’t what you think it is,” you begin. His brows furrow. “I uh… know about your father,” Riddle goes unbelievably tense and red in the face, his breaths becoming laboured. You watch him, curious. He glares at you scruntinisngly. There are several things you might be referring to, all of them bad, he doesn’t know from your expression which it is.

“What?” he croaks, his usual composure hanging on by a thread, you’re worried he’s about to lash out and start smashing up the room and you with it. His body is taut like a bowstring.

“That he’s a muggle,” you respond. You can’t understand why he relaxes slightly at this, but he does, though he still looks tense and mortified. He puffs out a breath, rubbing a hand over his face. He’s not arguing, so you know it must be true. “And that he’s dead,” you add. He tenses all over again, his eyes flicking back to you. “Sorry for your loss,” he relaxes once more.

“Right yes… that was… terrible when he… died,” he puffs out, unsure how to interpret this situation. You don’t look angry or scared, so you must be missing a few puzzle pieces here. He should have expected that someone would discover this one day, his surname wasn’t a part of the sacred 28. He hadn’t known about that in the first year, and once he’d already introduced himself as pureblood, he could hardly backtrack or change his name, so he just prayed his confidence would keep him getting by, and surprisingly it had, until now. It wasn’t a surprise it was you who found out, you were always irritatingly observant, it was honestly more of a surprise it had taken this long. He stares at you for a moment and you stare back. “What do you want?” he asks, figuring you’ve come to gloat in his face and demand he do your homework for the rest of the year or something. He would do it, he really couldn’t afford this getting out, especially not to his Knights. The fact you hadn’t already told everyone indicated an intention to blackmail him, you could have easily spread the word already, but you were smarter than that, he knew you were.

“What do I want?” you tilt your head quizically.

“I assume you’re here to blackmail me, so just tell me already,” he sighs, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He was furious with himself that he hadn’t prepared in any way for this eventuality. What would he have done if you’d spread the word without coming to him first? His whole plan, everything he’d been working for would have crumbled in minutes. He would have probably killed you, although the thought gives him pause now, it wouldn’t have really fixed things anyway.

Blackmail hadn’t actually crossed your mind, but you supposed you were in the perfect position to do so. As you watched him, discomposed for seemingly the first time in his life, you realised just how much he needed this information to remain secret with you. You could ask him for anything and he would probably do it. At your silence, Riddle lets out a frustrated howl and collapses back onto his bed, clearly thinking you’re playing some game with him. He runs his hands through his hair, staring up at the canopy above his bed. His hair is messed up, you realise you’ve never seen it like this, free of its immaculate style. The look suits him. His arms thud onto the bed at his sides and he groans again. You stand and come to kneel beside him on the bed without much thought. He looks up at you through his lashes, half angry, half intensely vulnerable. It's odd to be looking down at him like this, but it’s also a little exhilarating.

“Just tell me what you want, I’ll give it to you,” he pleads, staring up at you. “Come on, darling,” he tries his best to be his charming self even in this state, reaching for your hand. “I’ll do anything,” His cold hand on yours stirs something odd in you, he brings the back of your hand to his mouth and kisses it, his eyes locked on yours. He’s not sure what he’s doing, but it’s working, he watches as you blush. He kisses slowly up your arm, eyes locked on yours the whole while. As his lips brush the ticklish skin of the inside of your elbow, you finally withdraw your arm. He frowns, thinking he’d figured you out.

“Why have you never propositioned me?” you ask, your voice a little too serious for how insecure the question sounds leaving your lips. His brows furrow and he moves to sit up in front of you.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’ve supposedly slept with nearly the entire legal female population of Hogwarts and you’ve never propositioned me?” you hate how insecure you sound, but it’s something that you realise has been bothering you for a long time, as stupid as it is. He stares at you.

“You’re supposed to be smart,” he scoffs, and then changes his approach, figuring offending you is a terrible idea at the moment. “Have you ever actually spoken to any girl who has a story about sleeping with me, or is it all hearsay?” his words make you comb back through all the wild stories you’ve heard. He’s right, none of them have ever come directly from someone, all having started with something to the effect of ‘my friend heard…’. You study his face for a moment and he raises a prompting brow.

“No, I suppose you’re right,” you admit, chewing your lip. There are so many things that you should have been paying more attention to, this was another plainly obvious fact with hindsight. “So… what’s the truth?” he looks away from you, hesitating. “Oh come on, as if I don’t know worse things about you by now,” you tease. He glares for a moment but concedes that you’re right about that.

“None of it is true, no girl at this school is… good enough for me, I suppose,” he mumbles, sticking his chin up.

“Good enough for you?” you hum.

“I can’t give myself away to just anyone… it’s…” he hesitates, knowing he sounds completely pathetic despite his attempts to reframe this.

“You’re waiting for the right person?” you chuckle. “How uncharacteristic of you,” he huffs.

“Oh shut up, will you? It’s just… I don’t trust… very easily… and people underestimate how much trust is involved in an act like sex… you are completely vulnerable, physically and emotionally,” he crosses his arms defensively as he explains himself. “You could hardly defend yourself if the other person were to attack you during it,” you tilt your head at him. “It leaves you weak, in every sense of the word, so I have seen no need to participate,”

“That must have been a big disappointment to many witches,” you tease. He rolls his eyes.

“I can usually charm my way out of any issues, and the gossip around my ‘conquests’ has persisted, so it can’t have caused that much strife,” he finishes. You hum, supposing he’s right. “None of the girls are intelligent enough for me here,” he asserts. You scoff.

“Awfully sexist of you,”

“Hardly,” he snaps back. “None of the boys are suitable either, but I don’t consider them because I’m not… that way inclined,”

“Anyway, I didn’t think you liked intelligence in a woman,” you add.

“Why would I not? I love intelligence, I require intelligence, I would never fraternise with somebody lacking intellect, I would be far too bored,” he glances at you from the corner of his eye.

“But you don’t seem to like when I assert my intelligence,” you shrug.

“You’re different,”

“Why?” you laugh in disbelief. “I’m too intelligent that it threatens you?”

“No!” he hisses. “For one, you use your brains for the most infuriating of things, such as looking into my family history,” you’re tempted to interrupt him and tell him that the discovery had been an accident but you stay quiet.

“And for two?” you press. He’s silent for a long moment.

“Is this what you wanted? Blackmailing me into an argument? Because I’m sure we could have found a reason to argue without all this,” he griped. You sighed. No, you hadn’t particularly wanted to argue, you hadn’t particularly wanted anything, you’d intended to keep this information to yourself really and then when it had come out, you hadn’t considered blackmail until he brought it up. Your mind flashes back to his kisses up your arm, a warm tingle going through you.

“Were you attempting to seduce me earlier?” he glances at you, his cheeks just slightly pink. “Even though you’re waiting for the right person?” you add with a chuckle. He sighs.

“I might have been, I figured it was my best bet,” he shrugs it off, feigning nonchalance.

“What would you have done if I had gone with it?” you tilt your head curiously.

“Gone with it, I suppose,” he looks down, fiddling with his tie pin, feeling more uncomfortable than he was ever used to feeling.

“You’d have slept with me?” you enquire. He nods subtly, puffing out a short breath. “Even though I might have stabbed you in the back or something?” you tease. He glares at you.

“You wouldn’t do that,” he dismisses.

“So you trust me?” you challenge. He immediately opens his mouth to protest but then falters. Does he trust you? He knows you would never attack him physically, and he tries to brush that off as the belief that you are physically weak, but he knows that’s not true. If he were to attack you, he has no doubt you would put up quite a fight, but that you would never initiate. He hadn’t even thought through the fact that despite all his reservations, he really had been trying to seduce you, and not even reluctantly. He would have slept with you, and he wouldn’t have been afraid of what you might do to him. Sure, the emotional vulnerability was still a point of contention, but initially, he hadn’t had the time to consider that. Now that he’s given it some proper consideration, why is he not changing his mind?

“I suppose,” his voice is strained, like this is taking a great deal of effort for him to say. “That in some weird way I do trust you,” his expression is pained and he won’t look at you, but you know those words mean way more than they do on the surface. He’s never admitted to trusting anyone before, at least not truthfully, and to admit it to you… it’s frightening, and yet he did it anyway. You hold out your hand to him to see what he’ll do. He takes your cue despite himself, taking hold of it and kissing the back of your hand a few times. His lips are gentle and you quite like the feeling. Sure, he told you the rumours about him were false, but perhaps he really could make you come undone with just one touch, if you only showed him where to put it. “I’ll sleep with you if that’s what you like,” he admits quietly. “I need you to keep my secret, I’ll do anything,”

“Would you like to sleep with me?” you ask. He looks up at you, lips pressing against your wrist. His look is a little pained again, you’re not sure how to read it.

“I’ll do it,” he grits out.

“But do you want to? I don’t want to force you to sleep with me…” you try again. He gives you that pained look once more. He doesn’t want to say it out loud, to admit to such weaknesses as need and lust, he hopes you understand without words. He kisses all the way up your arm, leaning closer and caging you in as he starts to press kisses to your neck. You exhale shakily, placing your hands on his shoulders as he continues to lavish you with tender kisses. He presses you back, back until you fall onto his pillows and he follows you down, positioning his body over you, his hands on either side of your shoulders. He’s breathing hard as he looks down at you, his pupils dilated. You stare back up at him, still a little unsure. “Riddle… don’t force yourself, I don’t–”

He cuts you off with a deep kiss to your lips, you gasp slightly and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, exploring slowly. This kiss is not forced, this kiss is genuine and furiously wanting and the thought makes you moan. He shivers in return, kissing a little harder. Your hands come to his shoulders again as he comes to rest on his forearms, his neck no longer straining to you. You part your legs so he can settle between them, his hips pressing to yours. You can’t help but gasp again when you feel his erection press against you. He smiles against your lips, his signature cocky smirk returning.

“You sound amazing when you gasp like that for me,” he taunts. You roll your eyes, kissing him once more. It’s almost impressive how he’s able to maintain that arrogant air throughout all this. You hate it, yet you can’t deny the soft pulsing feeling between your legs. He continues to kiss you, his lips pressing against yours, his tongue slowly swirling and caressing, the sound of your lips meeting is both erotic and hypnotic, lulling you further into your aroused state. Your eyes are closed in bliss, but occasionally you open them for a glimpse of him. His lashes flutter as he kisses you, his cheeks are flushed which you didn’t even realise was possible before today, and his hair falls forward, surprisingly curling up a little as it encounters the sweat forming on his forehead. He kisses you like it’s his favourite thing in the world, gentle yet thorough, and you hope it is so that you might get to do this with him again. His kisses get a little needier as you feel him hardening further against you, pressing against you more insistently. Your hand settles on the back of his neck and you hold him in place as he kisses you. He grunts appreciatively, sucking on your bottom lip. He sits up suddenly, disconnecting your lips. You pant as you stare up at him in confusion, wondering if he’s stopping this from going further, but instead, he’s loosening your tie. You lie there and let him do the work, after all, he’s meant to be keeping you sweet. He doesn’t seem to mind. He takes great satisfaction in slowly peeling away your clothes, discarding your tie, and then unbuttoning your shirt. He’s making you vulnerable beneath him and he’s drunk on the feeling, although, he doesn’t intend to hurt or exploit you, he’s never had such pure intentions in anything he’s done before in his life. Which is odd, considering you’re about to sleep together. He traces the lace of your bra with his fingertips. “Been expecting me?” he teases, wondering about how nice the bra is, black and lacy.

“No, just a happy accident,” you chuckle as he runs the lace between his fingers. He’s a little disappointed that you hadn’t had this all planned out all along, but he figures there’s plenty of time for that in the future. It doesn’t occur to him at the moment that he’s just admitted to himself that he intends to do this again with you. He takes hold of your waist and eases you up to sit. He gives you a few gentle kisses on your neck, making you throw your head back and then he reaches around to your back to unclasp your bra. He’s heard horror stories of embarrassment from his peers, so takes a moment to acquaint himself with the mechanism, running his hands back and forth along your back as you rest heavily against his chest, your chin on his shoulder. Once he understands how it works, he uses both hands to unhook it easily. He slides the straps down your arms and bares you to his gaze. You lean back to give him a view, enjoying his wide-eyed look. He cups your breasts in his hands and kisses you once again. He lays you back down, gently kneading your flesh, groaning at the feeling. You’re soft and warm and it feels so good that he wishes you’d found out he was half-blood earlier, or that he’d been less stuck-up this whole time and propositioned you like you seem to have wanted. He moves his hands down to your stomach, stroking for a moment before popping to button on your skirt and sliding down the zip. He then eases the fabric down over your hips.

“Matching set,” he comments upon spying your lacy black underwear. “Sure you weren’t expecting me?” you roll your eyes.

“Yes, I’m sure,”

“Someone else?” he questions as uninterestedly as possible. You chuckle, sensing the hint of jealousy in his tone.

“No, just wanted to feel good for myself,” he nods at your answer, hoping you don’t spot his relief. He runs his hands up and down your hips and waist, occasionally squeezing the supple flesh.

“The female body is quite… pleasant under the hands,” he comments, kneading your hips gently. You give him a look. “Well… your body is anyway,” he runs his thumbs over your stomach. You smile up at him and he avoids your gaze, not wanting to confront the way that look just made him feel. He decides to speed things along, desperate to come out of this alive. He moves back enough to remove his own tie and shirt, secretly enjoying the way you’re watching. Then he stands and slowly lowers his trousers, taking his boxers with them. There’s no use delaying the inevitable and he’s hardly ashamed of his body. He steps out of his trousers and sits back down between your legs. He kneads your thighs as he lets you look him over.

“That scar on your chest–” you begin but he cuts you off quickly with a kiss, not wishing to discuss this right now when he’s so close to you, to having you. If you started asking about all his various scars, you’d be here a long time, and you’d run away from him well before he finally got to sink into your cunt for the first time. The thought stirs his cock. No, he can’t let you ask questions until later, he needs to have this at least once, he hasn’t even realised how much he’s been waiting for it. For… you. His cock rests heavily on you through the lace of your underwear, hot to the touch. He kisses you intently, sensual and all-consuming until you forget your line of questioning. He’s smug that he’s able to do that to you, perhaps he should have kissed you the second you started bringing things up you weren't supposed to. Perhaps by the end of this, you’ll have forgotten how it started and only remember the way he’d made you feel. Yes, that would be good. The thought urges him on, he nearly rips off your underwear. You squeak indignantly and he kisses your neck in an effort to placate you. He didn’t really care if he’d ripped them or not, but he couldn’t have you turning your back on him now. Not after he’s bared himself like this. He reaches down and lines himself up with you, ready to plunge in, but one last thought keeps him at bay.

“Are you on the potion?” he grunts, nuzzling into your neck.

“Yeah,” you swallow, staring down at where the two of you are about to be joined together. He waits for nothing else, easing himself into you, he groans loudly against your neck, the warmth surrounding him feeling euphoric. Your arms settle around his back, holding him close to you and he lets you, leaning against you heavily. He grits his teeth, trying to keep in control, but he can’t. His hips start rutting into you fast, he needs this and he has you now, he can’t stop himself. You grip his shoulders hard, gasping and wailing, the sounds only egging him on.

“Yeah?” he groans between thrusts as you whine sweetly in his ear. “That feel good..? fuck…” he’s not one to usually swear in this way, part of his charming demeanour, but he can’t help it slipping out with you. You make him all sorts of vulgar that he’s never been before. He pounds into you, glad that you don’t seem to mind his ferocity. He’ll be gentle with you some other time, but right now, all this pent-up energy needs to come out, and you’re receiving it so well. “Taking me so well, darling,” he chokes out, and you moan in response, seemingly touched by his words. He lifts himself up onto his hands, staring down at you, his hips slamming into yours. He watches your beautiful face in fascination as it twists with pleasure. He’s never taken so much enjoyment in making someone feel good before, it reminds him of the feeling he gets when he exerts power over someone, but better, because it’s you and he–

He can’t finish that thought, he refuses to. It’s too much. He keeps up his relentless pace, closing his eyes because the sight of you is stirring his chest along with the stirring in his stomach. His thrusts slow, but become deeper and more powerful. You moan unabashedly under him and the sound invades his mind, consuming him completely. He leans back down and buries his face in your neck biting down as his hips stutter and he spills deep inside you. The biting is the only thing preventing him from saying something he knows he’ll regret in his dizzy orgasmic state. Three disgusting little words that he’s never thought before in his life, that surely, he can’t mean now, even if they’re fighting their way out of his mouth. When he feels you orgasming around him, he clamps down on your neck harder, tasting a little blood. He finds himself feeling sorry for doing it. He lets go, gasping for breath. He presses a kiss to the bite mark on your neck, reluctantly apologetic. You whimper beneath him and he pulls back to check you’re okay. You are, just overwhelmed, he is too, though he’s not letting it show as blatantly as you are. He withdraws slowly from you, whining in tandem with you at the feeling. He sits back up between your legs, looking down at you. Your eyes are closed as you gather yourself. You trust him enough to lie there with your eyes closed, he could do anything to you right now. Things he has done to others before, and yet there you lie, trusting him like he trusts you. He scoops you up into his arms and rests your head against his shoulder.

“I’m sorry for drawing blood,” he mumbles as if it’s enough of an excuse for him to hold you like this. He kisses the bite mark again, secretly a little thrilled that it’s there, a physical reminder of all this. He soothes your back, rubbing soft circles, an action he’s never performed before. “You’ll keep my secret right?” he asks, and realises suddenly he doesn’t know what he’s referring to. The fact of his blood status? The lie of his mythos? The fact he’s just slept with you, been this vulnerable? Or… the worst one of them all? The unspoken words that he’s sure you’re smart enough to have heard in the silence by now. You don’t know which he’s referring to either, but you answer sincerely nonetheless.

“Your secret is safe with me, Tom,”

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xoxoxo

thank you to @i-live-in-spite and several anonymous asks whose ideas I pulled from a little to form this plot, lots of love ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

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makeitmingi · 4 months ago

Text

Everything I Could Ever Wish For!

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Cute, Fluff

Pairing: Mingi x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Mom!Reader, Dad!Mingi, Son (Song Jooyun), Uncle!Ateez

Summary: It's Mingi's birthday! Even though Mingi acts indifferent about his birthday, you know he secretly loves it when you celebrate it. So with your son and the rest of Ateez, you plan the perfect birthday celebration to show Mingi just how much you appreciate and love him.

Word count: 5.6K

A/N: Happy birthday Mingles, the loml <3

Did Mingi really want to be awake at such an early hour on his birthday? Not really. He would much rather be curled up beside you in your shared bed. It was so hard for him to leave you this morning when he had to get up to get ready.

"Appa...?" His 4 year old son, Jooyun, stood at the door of his room, rubbing his eye as he held his Tyudeongi toy close to his body.

"Hey, buddy." Mingi smiled softly, bending down so he could be on a closer eye level to the sleeping child. Jooyun immediately wrapped his arms around his father's neck.

"Where you going..?" The child asked with a yawn.

"I'm going to work for a little. But I'll be back soon. In the mean time, keep mama company?" He requested.

"Mmm." Jooyun nodded. Mingi chuckled and kissed Jooyun's cheek before bringing him to your room. He carefully laid Jooyun down beside you.

"Go back to sleep, buddy." Mingi whispered, patting Jooyun's back to soothe him.

Now, Mingi REALLY didn't want to leave. You, your son and your comfy bed, that was perfect. But knowing that ATINY were waiting on him, Mingi forced himself to leave. After a lot of begging, the staff already allowed Mingi to do his birthday live at 10 am instead of the usual 2-3pm that the members do their birthday lives.

And yes, Jooyun was in love with Tyudeongi and no, Mingi was not jealous or bitter. Besides, you hug a Ddeongbyeoli to sleep and Mingi's only ever complained about it twice.

"Good morning." Mingi bowed to the manager that was waiting for him in the van.

"Happy birthday, Mingi ah." The manager wished, smiling at the taller male through the mirror. Mingi smiled gratefully as he slumped back in his seat.

"Too early?"

"Hyung, if you had to leave the love of your life and your son in your warm comfy bed on your birthday, you would be upset too." Mingi scoffed. His manager laughed and nodded in agreement.

"Happy birthday, Mingi sshi." All the staff were greeting him when he arrived at KQ.

"Thank you." Mingi bowed respectfully. He sat in the chair, waiting to do his hair and make up for the livestream.

"None of the members are even here this early." Mingi sighed as he looked at his manager in the mirror. He chuckled at Mingi's kid-like whining and placed a coffee and muffin down on the table for him to eat as breakfast.

"I think only Yeosang and Wooyoung are coming in for dance workshop later." His manager informed, scrolling on his phone. Mingi took his phone out and took a selfie.

'I wish I was still in bed with you and Jooyun :( - Mingi'

He sent the pouting photo of himself to you. Seeing as to how you haven't opened the message, he guessed you were either still asleep or busy with Jooyun.

"Okay, 15 minutes, Mingi ah." His manager called. After his hair and make up, Mingi went to get changed.

"Woah, look at all the ATINY in the waiting room." Mingi said, looking over the director's shoulder.

"Of course, it's Mingi's birthday." The director laughed, making Mingi jokingly scoff. He checked his appearance one more time before sitting in the chair to get ready.

"Wow, you guys prepared a lot." Mingi looked around at the backdrop and all the props that was used to decorate the area. This year, his birthday merch was a Fix On hoodie that he designed himself. Taking another sip of his coffee, Mingi stretched his arms over his head and finally took a seat.

"Do I look okay? Can you see the hoodie properly?" Mingi asked the staff member, who look through the streaming camera.

"Looks good, Mingi sshi." She nodded and gave him a thumbs up. Mingi smiled in satisfaction, leaning back in his seat and sending you a final text.

'Going to start the stream soon, baby. Watch it if you have time. After this, I'm coming home to you. - Mingi'

"3, 2, 1!" The staff counted down and the room went quiet as Mingi smiled for the camera.

"Good morning, ATINY~" He waved. Checking the tablet beside him, he was touched at how many fans turned up so early for him. That made waking up worth it.

The stream went on like any other birthday stream, singing a birthday song, blowing out the candles and cutting the cake, then hearing messages and voice notes from the members.

"You can't wait for the hoodie? I can't wait to see all of you get it and wear it. Please post it so I can see." He read the comments. Mingi avoided questions that directly asked about you, not that he was ashamed or anything, he just respected your want for privacy.

"I don't know what I plan to do for the rest of the day. Maybe we'll go for dinner...?" He shrugged.

"We still have some time before the stream ends so I'll unwrap presents and answer more questions." Mingi smiled as the staff brought over the presents.

"Let's see. We'll start with this-"

"Appa!" Mingi's head shot up and he blinked at the sudden shout. It sounded a lot like Jooyun.

"Hold on, ATINY." Mingi stood up to look over the staff members and set up. Yunho was standing there with a grin, dressed in plain clothes as he held Jooyun's hand. The two of them waved to Mingi.

"Yunho just appeared with Jooyun." Mingi informed.

"Woah, the comments are going crazy." Mingi noted at the fast moving comments, all the fans wanting to see Jooyun.

"Come here. It's okay." Mingi waved the two over, unable to hide his smile. It was his best friend and his son, of course he was happy. Yunho came over, carefully leading Jooyun over the wires. Jooyun appeared on screen, his height just tall enough to let his eyes able to peek over the table.

"Aigo. There we go, you can see better like this." Mingi lifted Jooyun onto his lap. Jooyun still hugged his Tyudeongi close to his body, looking around in confusion.

"Hello, ATINY~ Did you all wish Princess Mingki a happy birthday?" Yunho bowed and waved with a friendly smile.

"Say hello, buddy." Mingi whispered. Jooyun turned his head to scan the room then looked up at his father.

"Hello to who?" He asked. Yunho and Mingi couldn't help but laugh.

"The fans are watching through the camera." Yunho explained, reaching out of ruffle Jooyun's hair. Jooyun still looked a little lost but followed his uncle's instructions, waving and bowing his head.

"Good boy." Mingi pinched Jooyun's cheek. The staff pushed a small chair for Yunho to sit.

It wasn't long before Mingi and Yunho bid goodbye to the fans. They were disappointed but they already overran their planned time with Yunho and Jooyun appearing. With waves and goodbyes, the stream was turned off.

"Happy birthday! Were you sur... prised?" Jooyun asked Mingi.

"Yeah, I was. But buddy, are you here on your own? Where's mama?" Mingi carried Jooyun out of the filming area as the staff were trying to pack up. Jooyun shrugged and turned to Yunho.

"(y/n) knew you were streaming so she texted me. She was called in for a work emergency so she dropped Jooyun off." Yunho explained.

"Oh..." Mingi nodded, checking his phone. You hadn't even texted him.

Mingi couldn't really complain. There were multiple times whereby he had to choose work over you, Jooyun and special dates. And you've never once made him feel guilty about it.

"Shall we grab brunch?" Yunho suggested, seeing how Mingi tried his best to hide his disappointment.

"Yes! Yes!" Jooyun jumped up and down excitedly. The plan was to go home but if you weren't there, Mingi might as well go for brunch.

"Okay but you're paying." Mingi chuckled. Yunho saluted and went to wait with Jooyun while Mingi changed out of his prepared clothes and wiped off the make up. Once he was in plain clothes, Mingi gratefully bowed to all the staff that were there for coming early to help him with the stream.

"Have a nice birthday, Mingi sshi." They all waved and bowed. Before stepping out of the room, Mingi sent you another text and tucked his phone into his pocket.

"Let's go, you two." Mingi called out to his best friend and son, who were busy making funny faces to take selfies.

"There we go." Mingi fastened Jooyun to his booster seat. He sat in the back with him while Yunho sat in the passenger seat.

RINGGGGG

"Hey, beautiful." Mingi answered, leaning back in his seat. He was glad that you called. Some sort of worry stirred within him after you hadn't replied to any of his texts.

"Hey, love. Sorry, I just dropped Jooyun off without any warning. It's... hectic." The guilt, regret and sadness in your voice was enough to tell Mingi that you were already making yourself feel bad.

"No, don't apologise, baby. I'm not angry. He had a great time with Yunho and the staff." Mingi chuckled.

"I'm glad to hear that... Ugh, I've got to go, I'll talk to you later." You seemed rushed and hung up before he could even reply. Mingi pursed his lips, he knew it wasn't your fault but he still felt a sinking in his chest.

"Why the long face?" Yunho asked.

"She hasn't wished me... And I guess I expected to spend my birthday with her and Jooyun but she got called for work." Mingi shrugged, trying to brush it off.

"But I know I can't say anything. She has always been forgiving and understanding when I have to put work first." Mingi continued.

"That's true. (y/n)'s one of a kind. I would have dumped you." Yunho teased with a snicker.

"Yah, my son is here." Mingi rolled his eyes. Trust Yunho to know how to put a smile on Mingi's face. When their manager pulled up outside the cafe, Yunho helped Jooyun out of his car seat.

"Thanks again, hyung." Mingi went to hug the manager.

"You're welcome, Mingi ah. Oh, and happy birthday from me and my wife." The manager took a money envelope out and handed it to him.

"Hyung, you know I can't." Mingi shook his head, wanting to refuse the monetary gift.

"Just take it. My wife will kill me if I go back with it." He chuckled. Mingi conceeded with a nod, he usually put all of his birthday money into the account you and him set up for Jooyun. He wanted the money to go to a good cause and this was his good cause, ensuring a future for Jooyun.

"Appa!" Jooyun called. Mingi tucked the money envelope into his clutch and headed to follow the two into the cafe.

"I want waffles!" Jooyun said.

"Magic word?" Mingi reminded.

"Please! Waffles!" He added amidst his excited giggling. Mingi chuckled and patted Jooyun's head. The 3 found a booth seat tucked in the corner, granting them a little more privacy.

"I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON!" You wailed, throwing your phone aside as you fell back onto the couch.

"Yes, you are." Wooyoung poked his head out of the kitchen to reply. You poked an eye open and nearly gave him the finger.

"Ignore him. You're not a horrible person, (y/n). Why would you say that?" Yeosang asked, sitting beside you and taking your hand into his lap to comfort you.

"Mingi sounded so sad on the phone. He's probably disappointed I'm at 'work' or that I haven't even wished him happy birthday. How can I make him so sad on his birthday?" You pouted, falling against Yeosang's shoulder.

"You're like Jooyun throwing a tantrum." Jongho said.

"Shut it. I hate you all." You hissed. Safe to say, you got along really well with the Ateez members.

"What did we do?" Seonghwa raised an eyebrow, gesturing to himself, San and Hongjoong. But honestly, they were used to you bickering with Wooyoung and Jongho.

"Let's just get this done before they come home early." You rubbed your temples.

Yes, this was all a plan to surprise Mingi for his birthday. You were initially unsure about it but the boys assured you it'll be fine.

"I need help wrapping his presents. They got delivered earlier today." You said. San followed you to the room to help you bring the stack of presents out.

"Wow, talk about overboard." Hongjoong whistled.

"Well, I blame all of you for making me stressed with this genius plan of yours. I felt like I needed to buy all this because I felt bad for making him upset on his birthday." You frowned before going to retrieve all the wrapping paper. There were different ones, all leftovers from Jooyun's presents.

"He'll be fine. He has Yunho and Jooyun there with him. That's all he needs." Wooyoung teased you. He always liked to joke that Yunho was Mingi's number 1 person.

"Just make the cake or I'll bash your face into it." You threatened through gritted teeth.

"Captain, she's threatening me." Wooyoung complained to Hongjoong, who just sighed and facepalmed.

"Uh, hang on, San. Some of the deliveries aren't presents for Mingi. I haven't had the chance to sort them." You said, checking the different invoices and delivery slips.

"I'm guessing this Aniteez one isn't a present?" San raised an eyebrow, holding up the box.

"Oh, yeah. Jooyun felt bad for not having Bbyongming so he wanted one. And I ordered Ddeongbyeoli's new yellow coat." You showed.

"Jooyun's getting Bbyongming while you're still hugging Ddeongbyeoli? I wonder who is the mature one." Jongho asked.

"I don't like your tone. And please, as if Jooyun will give up Tyudeongi. They're like best friends. So don't bring Byeoli into this." You scoffed. Seonghwa could only watch in amusement as you spoke fondly of his Aniteez character.

"Mingi's texting me." You paused the gift wrapping, a sad look on your face as you looked at Mingi's texts. He sent you pictures of Jooyun and him enjoying brunch.

"Aww, look at them." You showed the photos to San, who smiled softly at the father and son.

"Come, let me reply." Seonghwa took your phone to help you reply much to your protest.

'Enjoy yourselves, you two. - (y/n)'

Mingi looked at your reply. It was so... dry and unlike you. As Yunho went to pay the bill, Mingi was left the stew in his thoughts. Did he perhaps do something to upset you?

No, not that he can think of. Or did you just forget his birthday?

For a long time, Mingi did say that to him, a birthday was like any other day. He didn't want you to go out of your way to plan something big for him, he enjoyed just being with you and Jooyun.

But now that you hadn't wished him or spent time with him on his birthday, he was feeling a little hollow. Maybe you were busy and forgot, which is completely understandable. You've been juggling large work assignments and Jooyun since Mingi was always busy with work or overseas.

"Appa, are you okay?" Jooyun tugged on his father's sleeve with a small tilt of his head.

"I'm fine, buddy." Mingi smiled, combing Jooyun's hair back. Yunho returned to the table after having paid for brunch. Both father and son thanked him for the meal.

"Shall we go hang out at home?" Mingi asked, gathering his things and standing up, helping Jooyun off the chair.

"Not yet. There's somewhere we have to go first." Yunho smiled with a glint in his eye.

"What are you planning, Yun...?" Mingi knew Yunho long enough to know that look. Yunho innocently shrugged and guided the two out of the cafe. He booked a car, not telling Mingi the address.

"Samchon, where are we going?" Now Jooyun was confused too. And Mingi knew Yunho wouldn't ignore Jooyun.

"It's a surprise." Yunho giggled, putting a finger to his lips.

"I like surprises!" Jooyun cheered. Mingi wanted to facepalm, he had hoped that Jooyun would pressed Yunho more for the answer as to where they were headed. That was when the car pulled up in front of a mall. But not any ordinary mall, a mall with high end stores.

"You already know we're here for your present." Yunho nudged Mingi, who rubbed the back of his neck, the realisation sinking in. Why else would they be here?

"Good afternoon." The door man at one of the shops welcomed them.

"Hi, appointment for Jeong Yunho." Yunho said, showing the lady inside the reservation on his phone.

"Oh, yes. Mr Jeong. Please take a seat, can I get you anything to drink in the mean time? Coffee, tea, champagne or juice for the boy?" The lady asked.

"Two iced coffees, please. And yes, a juice box for my nephew too." Yunho ordered.

"Of course." She bowed and walked away. Mingi kept Jooyun on his lap, not wanting him to wander around.

"Look, appa! A doggy like Tyudeongi." Jooyun kicked his feet as he saw one of the fancy cloth animals that people would buy and decorate their houses with.

"Yeah, it is. But don't touch it, okay?" Mingi said. Jooyun nodded obediently. When the lady came, he received the juice box and took a sip while Mingi drank his coffee. The store manager of the store came out to greet them. Mingi sat Jooyun on the chair to shake hands with the suited male.

"Happy birthday, Mr Song." He wished.

"Thanks." Mingi smiled. Before they could get what they came for, the staff came out with a small cake and candles, all of them clapping and singing happy birthday.

"Cake!" Jooyun exclaimed happily.

"Thank you, thank you." Mingi bowed to everyone and closed his eyes to make a quick wish before blowing the candles.

"We will box the cake for you." The store manager nodded to one of the employees, who brought the cake away. After that, he wheeled out a coat rack with a single coat.

"Wow... Is this for me?" Mingi was in awe, feeling the material of the black coat.

"Yes, custom cashmere coat. Dark red silk lining." The manager continued to list the details of the coat.

"You did all this?" Mingi turned to his best friend, who nodded his head. Mingi walked over, engulfing Yunho in a big hug. He knew this coat must not have been cheap and every small detail had been customised by Yunho.

"Try it on." Yunho said. The manager placed the coat onto Mingi's shoulders and he went to look at the mirror. It complimented Mingi's frame well.

"It feels amazing and sits nicely on my shoulders." He ran his fingers against the material.

"I'm happy to hear that. You look great, Mr Song." The manager complimented, making Mingi's ears heat up.

Mingi liked that it was simple looking on the outside, like a regular black coat. Only he and Yunho will know all the effort that was put into designing and planning this coat.

"Appa looks so cool~" Jooyun sang.

"Thanks, buddy." Mingi chuckled. He snapped a photo and sent it to you, not mentioning it was a gift from Yunho.

"If there are no adjustments you need to make, Mr Song, you are welcomed to take the coat home today." The manager smiled. Mingi turned to Yunho.

"It's up to you." Yunho shrugged. Mingi nodded to the manager, he can't wait to show it to you in real life. After removing the coat, Mingi passed it to the manager, who folded it and wrapped it up neatly, tying everything together with a ribbon. Mingi and Yunho received the paper bag with a bow.

"Come on, Joo." Mingi held his hand out to his son, who quickly ran over to hold his hand.

"Maybe if (y/n) is done with work, we could swing by and pick her up before going home." Mingi thought out loud as he walked.

'Wow, that coat looks great on you! But you're handsome with or without the coat anyway <3 And no need to pick me, I'll see you at home? - (y/n)'

'And I'm quite tired. Can we just get takeout tonight? - (y/n)'

Now, that sounded like you. Mingi smiled to himself as Yunho hailed a cab for the 3 of them.

But you still hadn't wished him or showed any signs of realising what day it was. So at that point, Mingi assumed you genuinely forgot. It's fine, as long as you were not angry or upset with him.

"Where are we going now?" Jooyun asked his father and uncle.

"Going home to see mama." Mingi replied. Just like Mingi, Jooyun was obsessed with you. Therefore, after hearing your name, Jooyun's eyes lit up with excitement. Of course, Jooyun loves both his parents but he was a mama's boy.

"Yay! I missed mama." Jooyun giggled as they got into the cab. Mingi nodded in agreement. Half his birthday was gone and he had yet to speak to you face to face.

When the cab pulled up to the apartment building, Yunho watched the father and son excitedly head upstairs to the house.

"You two are so alike sometimes, it's scary." He laughed as Mingi keyed in the code for the house.

"Shh, I think mama might be asleep, buddy. So let's be quiet." Mingi whispered to Jooyun when he noticed all the lights were off. Until the lights turned on.

"SURPRISE!" You and the other Ateez members jumped out. Mingi's eyes widened in surprise.

"What- How? I- What?" He blinked in confusion.

"The boys made me lie to you and give you the cold shoulder to surprise you. I wasn't at the office." You chuckled, much to the protest of the Ateez boys. When his eyes fell on you, Mingi crossed the room and pulled you into a hug. He buried his face into your shoulder while you squeezed him.

"I thought you were mad at me or something." He mumbled.

"Ah, that was the boys stealing my phone to reply to you. Why would I be mad at you, hmm?" You pulled away to cup his cheeks, a soft smile on your face.

"Happy birthday, Song Mingi." You wished and tip toed to give him a sweet kiss while his arms moved to wrap around your waist.

"Yah, in case you forgot, we're still here. Plus, there's a kid in the room!" Wooyoung screeched.

"Aish, let them have their moment. They haven't seen each other and it's Mingi's birthday." San grabbed Wooyoung, putting him in a headlock, making him yell.

"Sorry I was made to be mean to you on your birthday. I feel awful." You pouted with a small frown, stroking his cheek.

"It's all good, beautiful. I'm just glad you didn't forget my birthday nor are you mad at me." He said.

"I would never forget your birthday, Min. Remember, I play Ateez Superstar? Your birthday event has been going on." You giggled. Apart from being Mingi's wife and the mother of his child, you were also a dedicated ATINY.

"Mama!" Jooyun finally ran over to hug your legs. You bent down to hug Jooyun, showering him in kisses while Mingi went to greet the other members.

"I did good?" Jooyun asked.

"You did amazing, baby. You and samchon. Good job." You patted his head. He laughed shyly, throwing his arms around your neck.

"Now that Mingi is here, we can eat!" Yeosang said with delight. You nodded and gestured for the boys to start eating. Mingi wasn't rushed, he came over to hug you.

"I missed you the whole day." He whispered, pressing his lips to your temple and letting it linger there for a bit.

"I missed you too." You hugged him tightly.

"Okay, lovebirds. Better get food before it's all gone." Seonghwa laughed with two full plates in his hands. You didn't need to worry, knowing someone will help Jooyun or share food with him.

"Galbi!" Jooyun pointed excitedly and San grabbed two pieces to put onto the plate that Jongho was holding, presumably Jooyun's plate. Seeing San help with getting Jooyun's food settled, you and Mingi went to get your own food. Mingi's arm stayed around your waist the entire time.

"Separate them for half a day and they can't seem to keep their hands off each other." Yunho chuckled.

"Jooyun's going to get another sibling tonight." Wooyoung smirked.

"Don't say that in front of the kid!" Hongjoong slapped his arm. Jooyun blinked innocently, focused on the piece of meat Seonghwa had cut up for him.

"My baby eats so well." You came to sit with Jooyun and cooed at him. He grinned at you, making you pinch his cheek.

"It's my birthday. Only look at me." Mingi drew your attention back to him with a childish pout.

"I know it's your birthday but Jooyun is your child too." You shot Mingi a flat look. Both Mingi and Jooyun always liked to fight for your attention. The two of them arguing on who hugs you, etc.

The rest of the party was spent just chilling, the boys even played some video games. Hongjoong had moved to the room with Jooyun to play with him and you went to check on them, mostly wanting Jooyun to have his nap.

"Min! Come look." You whispered, pointing to Jooyun's room. You saw Hongjoong and Jooyun sleeping together in his bed, the both fast asleep.

"The captain can really sleep anywhere." Mingi scoffed softly.

"That's not what I meant..." You slapped your forehead. Snapping a quick picture of the two, you pushed Mingi out of the room.

"No wonder the two of them were playing so quietly in the room." Yeosang chuckled.

"Shall we cut the cake after Jooyun and Hongjoong wake up from their nap?" You asked the rest with a giggle as Mingi grabbed your waist to make you sit on his lap on the couch.

"They both need naps or they'll be grumpy." Jongho joked. Seonghwa laughed and nodded in agreement.

"Don't you wanna play?" You asked Mingi softly, seeing the boys engage in a game of Mario Kart.

"No, I'd rather be here." He grinned, leaning in to press his forehead against your temple. You slung your arm around his neck and gave him a peck on the cheek. Honestly, there was nowhere else you'd rather be but to be close to Mingi. With his hectic schedule, you hardly had time for each other.

"Aish!" Wooyoung cursed when San threw a shell at him. You were so glad Jooyun wasn't here. The boys, including Mingi, have been caught using 'bad' language around Jooyun before.

"Shh, Jooyun and Joong are sleeping." You shushed him.

"You just get back to smooching with Mangi." Wooyoung scoffed in reply. You felt your cheeks heat up.

"Yah, Jung Wooyoung." Mingi scolded when you scooched out of his lap in embarrassment. You laughed and went to the kitchen to get more drinks for everyone.

"Baby~" Mingi whined, trapping you in his arms between his body and the counter.

"Why are you whining?" You grasped his chin. He held your wrist to move your hand as he leaned down to kiss you.

"Wanna be with you." He mumbled, his head dropping onto your shoulder as he tucked his face into the crook of your neck. You stroked the back of his head.

"You ARE with me, that's why we have a son. A son that you're sounding a lot like right now." You laughed, shaking your head at how silly Mingi was being. Jooyun already looks like Mingi so when the two whine, they looked even more similar.

"Alright, let me fix more drinks and snacks for the boys." You patted his hip.

"Let me help. I'm sure you've been busy planning this surprise and putting up with the boys at the same time." Mingi kissed your temple and tried to take over.

"No, you're the birthday boy. It's fine." You stroked his cheek but Mingi used his height, holding the juice jug away from you.

"Alright, you do the drinks and I'll do the snacks." You said, beginning to get some snacks together.

It didn't take long for Jooyun to wake up from his nap. Hongjoong came to get you and Mingi but Mingi beat you to it, going to his room to comfort him.

"Sleep well, buddy?" Mingi asked, sitting Jooyun on his lap and brushing his hair out of his face. You went in to see the two.

"Mama..." Jooyun reached out to you. You sent Mingi a smug smile and picked Jooyun up into your arms from Mingi's lap. He buried his face into your chest. Once Jooyun was settled and a feeling more sociable, you brought him out so you could cut Mingi's birthday cake. He didn't want to leave your side though.

"We're cutting appa's cake, baby." You said to him. Jooyun looked on curiously but still hugged your leg, his other arm wrapped around his precious Tyudeongie.

"Come." Mingi lifted Jooyun up into his arms as San lit the candles. Wooyoung took a video of everyone singing the birthday song.

"Make a wish, Mingi." You smiled.

"I already have everything I could ever wish for." Mingi smiled back, leaning to steal a peck.

"Boooooooo!!" The other boys jeered, making you giggle. Mingi rolled his eyes but leaned down to blow out the candles, making everyone clap and cheer.

"Picture time!" Yunho said and the boys all took turns to take picture with Mingi while you cut the cake. Yeosang and Seonghwa helped.

When the cake and presents were done, the boys helped to clean up before leaving so you and Mingi could spend the evening together. Jooyun, exhausted from the activities from the entire day, went to bed even earlier than he usually does.

"He's asleep?" Mingi sat up from bed as you came back into the room. You nodded and climbed into bed with him.

"Come here, my love." Mingi pulled you to him.

"Happy birthday, Song Mingi. I hope you enjoyed yourself and had a good birthday. Thank you for being you." You looked up at him, meeting his eyes. Mingi squeezed your waist.

"Thank you for today. Even if the boys' plan was to make you ignore me, the party itself was great. Couldn't have asked for a better way to spend my birthday." Mingi smiled softly, kissing the top of your head.

"I'm glad." You giggled.

"You know, I realised something." Mingi suddenly said. You tilted your head at him.

"I always say my birthday doesn't mean much to me but today, I think it does. Because it's when I get to spend an entire day with you." He hugged you tightly.

"Oh, Mingi. You can always spend time with me, not only on your birthday." You stroked his cheek with your thumb.

"Mm-mm, it's different. I don't know how to describe it, maybe it's because I know we won't be interrupted by our jobs or anyone else on this day. It's just a day where we can be in our own bubble. With Jooyun, of course. I hate when my job takes me away from the both of you." He smiled sadly.

"I know it's hard but if it weren't for your job, we wouldn't have met. We may spend time apart but you know you'll always have the two of us to come home to." You smiled softly.

"I know. I am so grateful for everything you do for me while I barely give anything to you and Jooyun in return." He nodded.

"Don't say that, you do a lot for me too, Mingi. And Jooyun loves you dearly." You giggled.

"I love you both so much. You're already everything I could ever wish for and on top of that, you gave me Jooyun. Thank you." He leaned down to press his lips against yours.

"Are you going to tell me what you wished for?" You asked.

"I thought you're not supposed to tell what you wished for or else it won't come true?" Mingi teased.

"I'm sure there are exceptions, such as to the mother of your child." You rolled your eyes. Mingi laughed and hugged your waist, burying his face against your chest like Jooyun does.

"Okay, I'm not lying. I really didn't wish for anything. I didn't see the need to. I already have you, I have Jooyun. There's nothing else I want but for the both of you to be happy and healthy." Mingi smiled softly, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.

"As long as we have you, we'll always be happy and healthy." You hummed, feeling your heart swell at his words.

"You've raised Jooyun well, I'm excited to watch him grow up with you. And perhaps, even watch other children grow up with him." Mingi squeezed your hand.

"We've raised Jooyun well. I couldn't have done this alone, Min. Don't shortchange what you've done too." You stroked his head.

"And when the time comes, when we're ready, we can discuss having more children." You added.

"Really? You would have more? With me?" He met your eyes, his own sparkling with anticipation and excitement. You burst out laughing, cupping his cheeks in your hands.

"Of course with you! Who else? And I'm not making promises but I am open to the idea of giving Jooyun siblings." You said.

"Also, I noticed that you said 'siblings' plural so that means you're open to having more than one more. Now, I really can't wait for that to happen." Mingi smirked playfully and squeezed your waist, making your cheeks heat up.

Masterlist

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sweatervest-obsessed · 2 months ago

Text

Last, Last Time

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (she/her pronouns)

WC: ~7.3k

TW: Angst, guns, violence, mentions of domestic violence, blood, swearing, depression, kidnapping, manipulation, self-deprecating thoughts, heartbreak, arguing, the grieving process, drinking, screaming, crying, sobbing, throwing up, being under pressure, and anything else that comes with a criminal minds episode.

a/n: based on S15 E6 - first date. I love u aubrey plaza <3. Also inspired by the song Last, Last Time by Boys Go To Jupitar. writing this was a little bit of a catharsis since it's one of the first things I've been able to write. I'm sorry I've been so m.i.a., i just moved to a new country and that has been a crazy experience. But to cope with that, enjoy some gut-wrenching angst!

Alternate Ending! Spencer Masterlist

“Spencer I won’t—I can’t keep doing this. I’m sick of arguing in circles.”

“Y/n…”

“I-I feel like you take me for fucking granted Spencer. All I do is work and then come home and wait for you to actually be able to, I don’t know, sleep in the same bed as me for more than four hours.”

The look in his eyes almost took you out but your heart had already been broken long, long before this argument. If anything, you were starting to feel this sense of freedom as you broke his heart.

“Please. Y/n. Just–I don’t—Just give me a few days to convince Hotch to let me have some time off and we can work on this please.”

“Wait for the potential of us?”

Spencer’s jaw loosened. You couldn’t read beyond the initial layer of pain and confusion, which made your chest ache since not too long ago you could have been able to find everything you needed in his expression.

“God Spencer this can’t be fucking news to you. We’ve been drifting apart for months now.”

“I know, I know. You have been so patient with me and I’ve just been….there was that whole thing with Cat and then….I-I was trying so hard y/n…”

“No, first there was that whole thing with Maeve.”

“That’s not fair—”

“Oh that’s not fair? Really? You’re going to tell me the entire Maeve thing isn’t fair to you?”

“I’m sorry.”

You sighed and closed your eyes. “I’m not saying you weren’t trying but come one Spencer. There’s no need to deny this shit anymore. I hate it when you lie to me about these kinds of things.”

Spencer’s hand came up to his face and it dragged down, aging him significantly with the fatigue written all over his face.

“So you’re just going to pack up everything, break my heart, and leave? Were you even going to say goodbye, or was I going to come home to an empty home. A note or....”

“I-I don’t know Spencer. I just don’t…”

The tears were starting to creep in, and you had to place the box down before you lost it.

“This isn’t easy for me either…” Your chest heaved.

The both of you stood in silence, tension simmering surrounding the both of you like heat on a summer’s eve. Neither of you could really look at one another, but it felt wrong to look at anything else. Something was missing but you couldn’t say it outloud. You knew you would always love Spencer Reid but this time it was not enough.

“I’m tired of arguing Spencer.”

Your eyes met his. You felt Spencer’s arms around you before you could even feel the tears hit your cheeks. Your arms immediately went to his neck, so familiar. No longer home.

Spencer’s voice muttered into your ear. “Don’t cry Jolie. It’ll be okay..”

About three years ago, Spencer had decided that he didn’t like that you had nicknames for him, and he had none for you. He spent weeks workshopping different ones : Sugar, Honey, Pumpkin, Sweetheart, Darlin, Pookie, Lover, Sunny (like sunshine), Sunshine—it was a wild few weeks trying to figure out who he was talking to. Then one day, offhandedly, he was trying to tell you about this french film he had been watching, and trying to get Emily to watch with him.

He called you ‘tres jolie’, and blushing you had asked him what it meant. He told you it meant pretty.

And it stuck.

Now? It stung.

All you could do was squeeze tightly onto him, not ready to let go.

“You’re so pretty when you’re lying through your teeth.” You whispered after a few moments, pulling away out of his arms.

“I.” You swallow and step back, out of his reach. “Maybe I’ll...”

Spencer just looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold in the tears that were streaming down his face.

You grabbed the last box on the counter and your keys, and walked out, for the last time.

You awoke in your bed, eyes adjusting to the complete darkness the blackout curtains provided you.

Another fucking night thinking about your decision those four years ago, and how your life may have gotten better because of it.

Moving to get up from the bed, you decided to leave the curtains closed for now, feeling as if you could melt from the sun touching you.

You turned on the bathroom light and started your morning routine. Wash face. Take meds. Brush teeth. Fix hair—

Somewhere in that process, you got lost, and just stared at yourself in the mirror. You weren’t sure for how long. All you could do was replay the last four years.

Did you make the right choice? You were happy, you had your dream job.

Maybe it was true what they say, you can only have a career or love, but not both—

The only thing taking you out of this spiral was the ringer on your phone going off.

This caused some hesitation because your phone’s ringer was always off––the loud noise startling you. There were only a few people who had that emergency bypass, and none of them had called you in four years.

You peaked out of the bathroom and saw the name light up on your phone.

Emily Prentiss

______________________________________________________________

The door to the round room opened up and in walked Spencer Reid. “Catch me up.”

Prentiss clicked the remote, and the TV lit up with a picture of a woman smirking facing the camera while holding a gun up to another one next to her. “Early this morning, Garcia got an email from an anonymous server.”

The second woman was tied up, mouth slightly open, and eyes filled with tears, while a man on the other side just had his eyes closed, tired. .

Spencer just stared at the photo.

Rossi nodded at the picture. “She's not obscuring her face, telling us she's got nothing to hide.”

He never pulled focus away from the screen, mouth dry at the thought of what today was going to be. “Any ideas on the unsub?”

“No.” Prentiss sighed. “Only the unsub's demand. That we release Catherine Adams in 24 hours. I'm having her transferred here for questioning, but we have no illusions. This is just a game to her. We know that. The question is, do we want to play it or not?”

______________________________________________________________

Receiving a call from the FBI was not entirely new to you, since you had been engaged to one of their agents, but receiving one now? Weird. Off brand. Something was deeply wrong from them to have to give you a call.

You hesitantly pick up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey Y/n, it’s Emily Prentiss—“

“I know who you are, Emily. It’s been a couple years, not millions.”

Emily hummed a brief laugh, and you could hear other voices behind her, unable to make out anything.

“I know this is hard to ask of you, but would you stay on the phone with me and come in?”

“What?”

“I need you to stay very calm Y/n, but I need you to stay on the line with me, leave your apartment as soon as you can, and get to the BAU.”

“Oh my god I totally forgot. It might take me an hour to get there with all this bullshit traffic, could we push the reservation an hour? Would they be willing to do that?”

Your entire tone changed, having remembered what Spencer had told you all those years ago about if people were listening into your apartment, if they bugged your car—all paranoia that didn’t pay off then, might be paying off now.

You were sure you could hear Emily sigh, and it sounded a little upset at the fact that you knew what to do–you knew how to handle a dangerous situation, which made her question everything in her life.

Quickly you pulled on a pair of jeans and threw a sweatshirt over your pajama top and grabbed your keys off of the counter.

You left your apartment, waved to one of your neighbors, and hopped into your car, still on the line, just trying not to panic. Maybe something went wrong, maybe Spencer wasn’t okay, maybe he had died—you refused to even acknowledge that thought and decided it was something else entirely.

It was a very tense hour of driving, that was only about forty minutes since you knew how to drive above the speed limit.

You realized that it was past midday, and you had taken full advantage of the weekend. So at least you had a decent amount of sleep under your belt for what felt like the beginning of an extraneous night.

As you pulled into the parking garage, Emily Prentiss and someone you had never met before were standing there waiting for you. You placed your car in park, hopped out and walked up to them–only hanging up as soon as you were out of the car.

Both of them had such grim looks on their faces, but at least they were trying to pretend like the situation wasn’t as bad as it appeared to your face.

Emily engulfed you in a hug. “Missed you Y/n. It’s been too long.”

“Well Em, next time I end an engagement with someone I’ll consider your feelings first.” You squeezed him back, dryly laughing at your own joke. At least it caused Emily to snort.

“Y/n this is SSA Luke Alvez. Luke, this is Y/n Y/l/n.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” He gave a small smile and nodded at you.

“I wish it were under different circumstances.” You nodded back and looked over at Emily.

“Let’s head inside?”

The three of you moved inside.

Sure, you hadn’t been here in a while, but you knew your way around the BAU Bullpen if your life depended on it, which was ironic since that was what this feels like.

As soon as you were safely in their round table room, Luke shut the door, and stood by it, Emily coming and sitting down next to you.

“What do you know about Cat Adams?”

That bitch.

______________________________________________________________

“I would like to go on a date. With you.”

Spencer stared at her, face stoic as ever. “A date?”

“Yes. I want to look pretty. And I want to have fun.” She looked him up and down. “And I won't even get physical, ok? Unless you want me to.”

Spencer sat down across from her. “Come here. Closer.”

Cat leaned in, a small smile on her face, absolutely intoxicated by being so close to him.

“The only date that I'll be there for is the one where they stick a needle in your vein.”

Cat scoffed. “You're just going to let her father and sister die? I don't think so.”

“I never said it was a father and daughter. You're already slipping.” He stood up from the table. “We'll find them. We always do.”

Cat leaned back and crossed her arms. “Not tonight. Tonight I win.”

His resolution had yet to change, “The score between me and you is two to zero. By tomorrow morning, it'll be a clean sweep. Enjoy eternal nothingness. It's a metaphor for your life.”

And with that, the door slammed shut behind him.

______________________________________________________________

Both the profilers watched a series of emotions run rampant across your face, before you settled on a somewhat displeased smile. “A lot.”

They exchanged a look, and you didn’t have the energy to pretend like you didn’t know what it was.

“Don’t start with me you two. I know profiling. I know what you’re doing. Ask me the questions you want to ask. Don’t try and trick me into giving the answers you want.”

Alvez bit his tongue and looked away, trying to hide a small smile that appeared on his lips.

Emily, on the other hand, hid her smile a bit better than him, but part of being previously engaged to a profiler meant you picked up on some of their tricks too.

She nodded and pulled a file from across the table. “I’m assuming you know the basics since she, uh, is obsessed with Spencer.”

“Glad to see he still has that going for him.” You muttered and looked into the file.

Emily shot Luke a look when he let out a huff or air, trying his damndest not to laugh.

“What is the last thing you know about her?”

You recounted the days leading up to the restaurant, and then the few days after, decidedly stopping short of the engagement breaking off a week later.

They shared another look, and you didn’t enjoy whatever it was that had moved across their faces.

“What? What happened?”

“Y/n..”

“No Emily, I drove from DC to here, I deserve to know what happened. without some weird sugarcoating, alright?”

Emily then begins to explain to you the past four years of Reid’s life. Cat pretending she was pregnant with his kid in prison, kidnapping his mother, framing him for murder in Mexico, going to prison—

“Spencer went to prison and none of you thought to call me….”

“We didn’t think you’d–”

“I’m a fucking criminal defense attorney in DC Emily. Of course I’d want to know if he was arrested, especially internationally. I know that law better than all of you. If someone I knew was kidnapped, I’d call you immediately. Faster than the cops.”

Both of them went silent.

“So is he out?”

They nodded slowly, silently.

“How long was he in there.”

Nothing.

“I asked. How. Long.”

Luke spoke up. “Three months.”

“Jesus christ.” You stood up and started to pace around the room, taking the time you needed to calm down.

Why didn’t Spencer call you—well you knew why Spencer wouldn’t call you.

“Okay so he’s out.” You said finally. “Why am I here?”

“Cat’s execution is coming up, and we….we found out that she’s convinced someone to kidnap some….people…close to Reid, and we knew you’d be on that list for him.”

Your eyebrows went up at people but said nothing of it. Just as you went to say something else, JJ knocked on the door, another blonde woman behind her.

They entered and JJ gave you a small, yet genuine smile.

You returned it, but quickly shifted your gaze onto the woman behind.

Your whole body shifted slightly, into a place of defense, locking your emotions down. You knew all the profilers were watching it happen in real time, which is why Emily walked over and stood next to you, a hand appearing on the small of your back as a comfort.

“Would someone like to tell me what is going on here?” The blonde woman spoke up, arms crossed.

At least Spencer’s taste in partners with attitude hadn’t changed.

______________________________________________________________

“Victimology is off.”

“How so?” Prentiss looked up at him as he walked into the room.

“Father and daughter. She’s never done that before.”

Lewis spoke up. “She usually kills men that remind her of her father. Children–even adult children, are off limits. Do we have an ID yet.”

Prentiss, Rossi, Garcia, and JJ all looked over at Reid, and he just pulled a hand down his face. “It’s. It’s Issac and Noelle Y/l/n.”

“Y/l/n…as is Y/n Y/l/n.” Tara looked up surprised at Spencer.

Reid nodded slowly, just staring at the picture on the projector.

While Luke spoke up. “Who is Y/n Y/l/n.”

“An old friend.” Rossi quickly interjected, before any more explanation had to be said. It was clear both Alvez and Simmons, that whoever this was, was an extremely touchy subject for Reid.

Tara, who had only known you for a little while, looked back at the picture.

Rossie spoke up. “What do we know about the partner who’s helping her?”

“It’s got to be someone from her prison.” Simmons spoke up. “She hasn’t had contact with anyone else.”

______________________________________________________________

After all of that, you found yourself back in a place you left four years ago. It looked almost the same as when you had first moved in, but there was less of it.

Almost as if he was having trouble covering places where things used to be.

There were almost no photos on the walls, since you had taken half of them, and were in the rest.

Calling someone you once loved a stranger feels wrong.

Max, as you had learned her name, was just sitting on the couch in your spot . She was looking around as you and Rossi stood by the kitchen counter.

“Cat had a cellmate named Juliette Weaver. We believe the two were working together, as a way for Cat to get something against Spencer, and as payment, Cat would get Juliette’s ex.”

You nodded. “How does this affect me?”

“She took your father and sister.”

Your back straightened and immediately brought out your phone, to call your sister, but Rossi just grabbed your wrist (gently) and shook his head. “If she finds out you know, then it’s all over. She’s doing this on purpose. She knows about you and Reid, but she knows that dragging you into all of this will hurt him more than anything else.”

His voice had gone low and quiet, so that the girl on the couch couldn’t hear.

“So why is she here?” You whispered back.

“Because we don’t want anyone in danger.”

You closed your eyes and nodded. “I need a cup of tea.”

Rossi let go of your wrist, and you walked into the kitchen, mostly eyes closed from the stress of the situation.

The apartment was silent, the others watching as you grabbed a kettle, and started to make tea. It was like second nature to you as you turned the stovetop on, grabbed a mug from the cabinet (careful to not grab one of his favorites), and grabbed some tea from the cabinet.

It didn’t dawn on you that you were drinking your favorite type of tea until the second sip, while the entire apartment was still silent.

The pity from Rossi's look was palpable.

“Don’t even start.”

He shrugged and stayed silent.

Until his walkie went off and he looked at Max. “It’s time. Let’s go.”

Rossi looked back at you and gave you a quick hug, squeezing you tightly. “You’ve got this kid. Remember everything we talked about.”

You nodded and gave them both a strained smile as they left the apartment, leaving you all alone in this place you once called home, alone.

Never once, since you left, did you think you would ever be back here. You didn’t even realize you were drinking from one of your own mugs until it was just you. The irony of it was not lost on you, and you sat down in your spot on the couch.

Well first you sat in Spencer’s seat but it felt too weird, so you shifted back into your spot on the couch.

______________________________________________________________

“Juliette staked out in Reid’s life. Found out he was dating someone, but then must have discovered his ex-fiancée.” Simmons sighed. “He was probably so focused on Max, he didn’t even realize that someone was digging into his history, following them around.”

Prentiss nodded as they walked and talked. “But if Juliette was able to find Max, that meant she was easily able to find Y/n and her family. It means she must have access to all of her publicly available information. “

“Well at least we found their hidden agenda.”

“No. We found Cat’s hidden agenda. Juliette doesn’t care about Reid. There’s something we’re missing here. Do a deep dive with Garcia.”

Simmons nodded at Prentis. “On it.”

“I’ll go to Reid's apartment and monitor onsite. Is there a trap and trace on his landline?”

“Garcia’s almost set up.” Simmons walked away from Prentiss, and down towards Penelope’s office.

“Well this went from bad to worse.” Tara walked up to Emily.

Emily sighed in agreement.

Lewis spoke up. “Female narcissists destroy their competition.Y/n really shouldn’t be in there.”

Emily just nodded and the two of them headed out of the bullpen. “Walk with me.”

Tara kept stride with her as they pushed through the doors. Rossi was just getting off the phone with someone and turned to look at the two women approaching him and JJ.

JJ spoke up when Rossi was finished. “So, the hospital just released the dad– Issac Y/l/n. He's on his way here now.

Rossi scoffed. “Question is, why let him go at all?”

“Matt's on that.” Emily gestures in the direction of Garcia’s office. “Juliette Weaver's real agenda should tell us where she's taking Y/n’s younger sister.”

Lewis spoke next. “I still think the play here is to get Cat and Juliette to contact each other, but I have no idea how.”

Prentiss crossed her arms. “I have a plan, but first we have to talk about Y/n.”

______________________________________________________________

Just then, you heard the click of the door, and stood up, watching as the door swung open.

And there he was.

This was the first time you had seen Spencer in four years.

And here he was, kissing Catherine Adams.

The woman you could give partial credit to for ending your relationship.

After a moment Spencer looked up, and took several steps away from Cat. His eyes were wide and locked on yours.

It took a lot of self-restraint to not punch the lights out of Cat, and to stand still arms crossed.

“Y/n?” Spencer’s voice broke a little bit.

You never would say that Spencer was unattractive. In fact, it would be a lie if you ever said it. But something about the past four years aged him like a fine wine.

His hair was a bit longer, he had some scruff—his baby face had melted away and standing in front of you was a man who thought you knew everything about, but was now a stranger.

You didn’t answer him, watching as he took you in, standing in his apartment, for the first time since…

“What are you doing here?”

You looked over at Cat, who had the most devious smirk on her face.

Remember what Prentiss had said to you.

“You know why I’m here.”

Cat nodded and the two of them moved into the apartment, the door closing behind them.

Spencer just stood ten feet away from you, eyes never leaving you, and you watched him right back.

Cat, on the other hand, was walking around, examining the apartment. You could see her take notice of the tea you had made yourself on the counter. You could see the hatred from the corner of your eyes. The two of you were starting to piss her off.

She spoke up, after a few moments of silence. “Did it make you mad that I was kissing your Fiancé?”

You shook your head. “No.”

Your focus had fully turned to Cat, but you swore you swore you could hear Spencer take a sharp inhale as you spoke your next words.

“Well, he's not my fiancé and I kind of have some other things on my mind.”

Cat didn’t scare you, but there was just something so off-putting about her. “Like what?”

“Are you gonna hurt Noelle?”

Cat shrugged. “Not if I don't have to, no. Honestly, if she follows instructions, she might even learn from this whole experience.”

You scoffed. “What does that mean?”

Cat just started fiddling with the chess set on the dresser.

“Spencer, what does she mean?” You turned to look back at him, his name feeling so good on your tongue.

Spencer, who really hadn’t stopped looking at you and sighed. “I think…She means that Noelle isn’t learning from her, but from Juliette.”

You sat down in your spot on the couch, arms crossed. You were on the full defense.

Spencer noticed where you sat and had to look down to conceal any notions of a smile on his face.

Cat watched him before turning and looking at you, some more disdain on her face than before.

“Normally, Spencie and I, we spend our time together playing games, but tonight, I've brought you all here to make a point. You are doing so much better.”

Spencer spoke up. “With you?”

“I'm not talking to you.” Cat snapped at him before she turned to you. “I'm talking to you. Because, girlfriend, you need to know the truth about your fiancé.”

“He's not my finacé.” You were unsure about how many more times you could say that outloud.

“No kidding. When’s the last time you spoke? Right…” Cat walked over to the center of the room, right in front of the couch. “Here?”

Your head whipped around to Spencer. “You told her about that?”

Spencer was pleading with his eyes. “I had to say a lot of things tonight.”

Cat’s voice caused your head to snap back to her. “Yes, he has. He said that you never compared to me, that, um... That no matter what, he will never get me out of his mind, unlike you. Unlike that girlfriend.”

You tried not to wince at the mention of that girl Maxine out in one of the trucks.

Spencer sat down next to you. “Everything I said—I was lying to save your family.”

Cat scoffed. “Did our kiss look like a lie?”

“No.” you just looked down at your hands.

“Thank you. See, now we're getting to the heart of the matter.” Cat started mocking Spencer. “You see, everyone thinks that Dr. Spencer Reid is... Is just this nice, bookish, uh, genius who, uh, always saves the day and has all the answers. And has zero mommy issues, right? But, um... I know the real him.”

“Oh, yeah? Who's the real me, Cat?”

“The real Spencer Reid throws women against walls. And hisses that he's going to kill them.”

Spencer stood up, squaring off against her. “That was a very different situation.”

“No, it wasn't.” Cat was holding the smirk back this time, making your gut wretch.

“Spencer…What is she talking about?” You looked from the psychopath in front of you, to the man you realized you might have never really known beside you.

“You tell her. She's not gonna believe it coming from me.” She huffed.

Reid turned and looked at you. “Two years ago, Cat had her partner kidnap my mother. Just like tonight. She got under my skin and…”

Your chest hurts. “And you threw her against a wall?”

Cat’s smirk was breaking through whatever resolve she had. “Don't skimp on the details, Spencie. She deserves to know everything.”

Every single time she said Spencie you swore a shock went up your spine.

Spencer looked down at his hands, and then over at you. His voice had gotten quieter. “She was pregnant at the time and I knew that when I hurt her.”

“And?” She stood there expectantly, waiting for Spencer to finish. When he didn’t, her face suddenly became solemn. “The next day... I miscarried. The end.”

Spencer looked at her. “That's not true.”

“It is most certainly true. Check my medical records.”

“That doesn't mean I-I would…”

Cat held up her hand to him. “Stop. Look.”

Spencer looked over at you, just sitting on the couch, trying to process everything that was going through your head.

After thinking about everything you had gone through, especially with Spencer. “I thought you were better than that Spence.”

It was the first time you had used a nickname for him in years. And he was hearing it for the first time while you were stuck in a standoff between himself and Cat Adams, your sister being god knows where.

Spencer’s voice cracked. “I'm sorry.”

Cat squatted down in front of you, a sick smile on her lips. She was enjoying this. She truly enjoyed watching his life crumble to bits. “Notice how your Spencie is apologizing to you and not me.”

You clenched your hands. “He’s not mine…”

Spencer just looked over at you.

Cat nodded. “That's good. Because men are all the same. Aren't they, Jolie?”

Spencer’s eyes lit up with an emotion you rarely saw from him when you were together. “Don't call her that.”

And you couldn’t blame him. The word ran you through like a spear and you were sure if you looked behind you, the blade would be through the couch. You tried so hard to not let either of the two people near you see how much it messed with you. Luckily for you, Cat was too busy pushing Spencer’s buttons to see the way her words won against you.

Cat hissed at him. “What, are you gonna throw me against a wall and choke me, or do you only do that to pregnant women?”

You finally spoke up. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I want you to see it.” She gestured to Spencer. “I want you to see that he is...no better than he was before, or any man after. They’re all the same.”

“Stop.”

Cat squatted down in front of you. “I can see it on your face. What's his name?”

You stared back at her. “It's none of your business.”

That damned smirk of hers returned. “It is exactly my business. In fact, it's my specialty. I mean, I could have Juliette and baby sister go over there if you want. They could take care of him.”

Reid looked over at you. “Say yes. Give her what she wants.”

“Hmm. See, he wants you to get me to make a little phone call so they can trace it.” She moved away from you both and sat down in the lounging chair across from you. “They're so good, the FBI.”

You jumped up and started pacing, a spitting image of four years ago. “What is wrong with the two of you? What is this sick, twisted thing that you have? Listen, I just want to save my sister. Will you please just tell me what I have to do to do that?”

“Tell me his name. Tell me the story. That's it. And then if they can let Juliette exit stage right, then I promise you I will let her go.”

You looked between Cat and Spencer before walking over to the kitchen, and hanging up the phone. After staring down at the decision you had just made, you walked back over and took your phone out. “Here. Use this. Use my phone. They can't trace it.”

She just watched you. “You'd be surprised.”

“I don't even need a call. Just... just a photo.” You held the phone out to her. “Something to prove to me that she's still alive. Please”.

Cat just looked up at your face. “Story first.”

“Y/n. Please.” Spencer turned to you, hoping you’d look back at him. “I have been here with her before. She called the number and told the partner to kill my mom.”

“It is so tricky, isn't it? I mean, who are you gonna trust? The lying, cheating, violent psychopath... Or me?”

You looked down at the ground, refusing to look over at Spencer. “His…His name was Mike Davis. We dated for two years. I met him a month after we…we split.”

Cat’s attention on you felt as if there were a million bees stinging your body all at different intervals, pain coursing through your body. “Good. When did it end?”

“Last year.”

“Was he good in bed?”

Spencer stood up. “Shut up.”

Cat was enjoying this. She was enjoying watching you make Spencer uncomfortable. She was enjoying hurting him in every masochistic way she could. “What? You have to know where you stand.”

“He was good…” You looked back at Cat. “Good at, um, separating me from my friends and my family. Enough that the first time he punched me in the face, I didn't have anywhere to go. And my first response wasn't "get out." It wasn't "go to hell." It was "I'm sorry, Mike." That's when he knew he had me.”

There was a glint in Spencer’s eyes, and you could swear they were tears, but you couldn’t tell from rage or sorrow.

Cat continued to probe. “How many hospital visits were there?”

You showed her a small scar on the inside of your elbow. “None. No, he... He knew how to hurt me just enough to hide it all, I guess.”

“But you found the strength to leave. What did you do?”

“ I planned and I... I waited.”

Cat’s eyes lit up. “Waited for what? “

“I live here in D.C.” You looked between Spencer and Cat. “but I'm also a resident in Virginia. It takes 60 days for the permit to clear.”

Spencer’s eyes widened. “Y/n, stop talking. Stop talking right now.”

Cat shushed him. “No, don't stop. Here. Give me the phone. Look, I'm gonna enter the text. Stick the landing and I'll hit "send."

You handed her the phone and she quickly typed out a message, her thumb hovering over send.

Fiddling with your ring finger, you started to speak again. Slowly. Concisely. “When I was ready, I picked a fight. Loud enough for the neighbors to hear. And he came at me with his fist just cocked back, so I pulled my Glock 19 out of my purse. I shot him.”

Spencer tried to interject. “It was self-defense. He was attacking you—”

“That's what I told 911 as he was struggling to breathe on his kitchen floor. That's why the police never charged me. I’m a lawyer, I know how to plead.” You closed your eyes. “But I... after I hung up, I... I shot him two more times.”

Cat was glowing, spinning around to face Spencer. “Wow, you really have a type, don't you? Quite a dilemma, too. She just admitted to murder.”

Spencer was in disbelief. “She'll beat it.” .

“Probably. But whatever feelings she might have still had for you, and whatever Maxine might have seen in you—-it’s all gone.”

The phone in your hand buzzed.

“Oh, wow. Look at that. Your sister. Alive and well. You're welcome.”

Your face hardened up, and you stood up straighter. Walking away from the two of them, you opened the door. “I got it.”

She took the phone from your hand and you turned back to the two of them. There was no emotion behind your eyes as you looked back at Spencer.

Cat smirked and looked up at Spencer. “I win.”

______________________________________________________________

The prison transport was quiet, with the two guards sitting across from Spencer and Cat. It had been silent for about twenty minutes, but then, Cat spoke up.

“Do you know why I did this? Why I really did this?”

Spencer looked down at his hands. “You wanted to prove I'm a monster just like you.”

“No... Silly. I just wanted to see you again. I just wanted to make sure that you would never forget about me.” She sighed. “'Cause when they do put that needle in my arm, I just want there to be even the slightest chance that... Maybe you're still thinking about me…”

Spencer stiffened as she placed her head on his shoulder. “You didn't have to terrorize 3 innocent people. You could've just written a letter.”

“Would you have written me back?”

When Spencer didn’t respond, Cat knew her answer.

“Bye, Spencie. I really enjoyed our date.” She smiled at him desperately, getting dragged out of the vehicle by the guards to the prison.

______________________________________________________________

The elevator door opened and Spencer walked out of it, his whole body reeked of defeat, and he barely looked at Emily as she spoke. “We need to debrief.”

Spencer just walked right past her, and into the bullpen. His expression changed when he saw you on one side talking to Tara, and Max on the other, looking up at him right as he walked in.

“Spencer, are you okay?”

Her voice caught your ear, and immediately you looked up to see her walk over and embrace him in a hug.

He smiled at her, and grateful returned the hug before muttering that he would be back, and explain everything.

You were never going to get back together with Spencer, but watching it in real time was like unlacing an old wound.

Spencer walked over to you, and you stood up as he approached.

“Uh, Tara, would you mind giving us…”

She nodded at him and walked away.

Both of you went to speak, trying to say something to the other.

“I should explain all of this.”

Spencer shook his head. “You don’t have to explain any of that Y/n—it doesn’t.”

You cut him off. “It was fake—most of it. I didn’t kill anyone, Spence. I was just lying to her to get her to send the text from my phone. It was all…It was made up.”

He just nodded, staring at you really.

You gave him a soft smile, and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Both of you could feel the pulse between it, making you remove your hand and take a small step back.

“Thank you for saving my sister and father.”

Spencer watched your resolve fully formed, masking whatever you were feeling. He hated watching it happen to him, watching as you placed whatever feelings you had back into somewhere he couldn’t find.

Garcia walked over and placed a hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “I just need you both to know, Cat Adams had a miscarriage, but it was months after whatever encounter you had. It’s not your fault. We looked at her records.” She was speaking low for you both, yet both of you let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“They filled me in on everything that happened between both of you in the past couple years, and they asked me if I would be willing to…help them beat her.”

Spencer looked up at you, and unlike yourself, every single emotion Spencer was feeling was racing across his face.

He didn’t like that you knew about everything that had gone down. He was so happy you were okay. He was a little impressed by the way you beat Cat at her own game. He was upset that you put yourself in danger.

“They gave me an ear piece and everything.”

Spencer shook his head. “You’re not trained—that’s extremely dangerous of you.”

You sighed and nodded. “Unfortunately Spencer, this is…this was the life I was used to when we were together. I knew the stakes. I mean the briefings I had with Hotch after you relapsed…”

Spencer just clammed up and stood a bit straighter. “ I never knew..”

“It was like that on purpose. I didn’t want you to think that you were a burden or too much or—I was doing it for the potential of…” You cut yourself of, flinching at the parallels between this and your previous final conversation.

You looked over at Garcia. “I need my bag Pen.” You whispered, taking a step away from Spencer. “I shouldn’t…I finished my job. My family is safe…”

She had a rueful look on her face, but she nodded and took your arm, walking you back over to the desk where your stuff was.

He looked up at Emily and walked over to her. “I’m…uh. I’m gonna go walk her out and then I’ll be right back.”

Emily gave him the saddest smile, and just nodded. She knew that nothing she could say could make it any better.

You grabbed your coat, and your bag, and the two of you walked to the elevator in silence, riding it all the way down to the parking garage, where your car was still there from this afternoon, all of those hours ago.

You looked over at Spencer, tears in your eyes, having not said anything to him.

As soon as he met your eyes, you dropped your bag, and Spencer wrapped his arms around you tightly, just holding you and resting his head on yours; trying to give you the comfort that he was rarely able to give you.

Sobbing into his arms, you just tightly wrapped your arms around his torso and just held onto him tightly. Trying to decompress, trying to truly understand everything that had happened in the past twelve hours.

It was Spencer who spoke first.

“I’m so so sorry Y/n.” He whispered. “I never meant any of this to happen to you, and for you to get dragged back here and—”

You shook your head slightly, but didn’t move from where you were. Neither of you did.

“It’s what she wanted, Spence, and unfortunately for us, this was always bound to happen.” You whispered.

The hug felt so good, but something about it was just so different.

It’s not the way it used to be.

“I need to go Spencer.”

He nodded, and this time you moved away from him. His hand came up and wiped away one of the remaining tears on your cheek.

You closed your eyes, and took a deep breath.

“Oh fuck, why is this so fucking hard four years later.” You laughed, trying to regain any sort of composure.

“Y/n…”

You took another step away from him and shook your head.

“We can’t—I’m not.” You tried so hard to find the right words without bursting into tears again. “Spencer. I cannot put myself back to where I was four years ago. I can’t do it. And yes things have changed, but maybe that is for the better. Maybe you were always meant to be my maybe, and not my always.”

You took another breath, but kept going. “You are amazing, and funny, and so smart Spence. But this…we ran our course. It didn’t work then, and I don’t know if I have it in me to try again just for it to fail.”

“Y/n please.”

“I will always love you but this…It’s time to…It’s time to stop. I have to go back to my life, and you go back upstairs to yours, with Prentiss and Rossi and Penelope and…Max.”

Both of you winced as you said her name, but you took a step forward, moving to kiss him on the cheek.

Spencer gently grabbed you face, giving you enough time to back out.

You didn’t.

His lips locked with yours, his thumb rubbing against your cheek as the two of you shared one more moment, just for the two of you.

But it had to end.

You couldn’t go back to the anxiety, the arguing, the petty disagreements. It wasn’t good for you. It was good for either of you.

Stepping away again, you gently kissed his cheek, and started to slowly walk to your car.

Right as you got to your car, you turned around and made eye contact with him one last time before the elevator doors closed, both of you with the most gut wrenching smile slightly plastered across your faces.

You mouthed goodbye, unable to speak it out loud, and he nodded, tears filling his eyes as he whispered it back to you.

The doors shut.

You were all alone in this hollow parking garage.

Your heart was aching, burning.

But there was a sigh of relief, that came with the doors closing, and saying goodbye for the last, last time.

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earthtooz · 9 months ago

Text

in which: you need to make it to liyue harbour in time so you can give kazuha a piece of your mind and a response to his love letter.

cw: fluff, 1.3k words, not too sure how canon accurate this is, potentially ooc-kazuha, gn!reader from inazuma, confessions, two wholesome idiots in love

a/n: for my little sibling @sixosix, i hope you enjoy

Liyue, out of all regions in Teyvat, is the hardest to run through.

It’s mountainous, your muscles will ache from going uphill, your ankles will be sore the next day from going too fast downhill. It’s grassy, the gravel is rough against the soles of your feet, and there is an abundance of hillichurls and samachurls waiting for you with their clubs and shields. Yet, they provide more motivation for you to outrun them, speeding right by their camps to get to Liyue Harbour in time.

Stupid Kaedehara Kazuha, when you see him, he’s in for an earful from you. Making you run from Lingju Pass all the way back to the Harbour, doesn’t he know how much you despise running for long periods of time?

A break is not plausible, especially when Beidou’s boat could leave the dock at any minute now.

When Liyue’s bustling harbour is in sight, it’s vast oceans appearing out the horizon, you feel like you can breathe. The sunlight glimmering on the ocean cheers you on, and you won’t stop until the waves are underneath your feet, the only thing separating you from them being wooden planks.

You push through crowds, too tired and determined to be polite and apologetic to shoppers you push aside. You run past Mingxing Jewelry, Wanmin Restaurant, and Master Zhang’s workshop, and don’t stop until you, yourself, are climbing onto the Crux. Crew members are shouting in protest at your sudden appearance, yelling at your unexplained entrance.

There are people trying to pull you off the boat, and you don’t really know where the strength to push off burly sailors came from, but you successfully fend off all of them, and find Beidou at the bow of the ship.

“Where is Kazuha?” You demand, decorum be screwed, nothing can stop your momentum now.

Her uncovered eye lights up in amusement, a hint of knowing behind her crimson gaze. “Right behind you.”

Lo and behold, the beige-haired in question was right behind you. “Uh, hello?”

“I have a bone to pick with you, Kazuha!” Stomping over to him, he grabs your wrist before you have another chance to talk, dragging you away from the bow of the ship where all the crewmates were unloading their cargo. (Beidou’s thundering laughter can be heard as he’s dragging you away, at least she’s not mad at your sudden intrusion.)

He stops when the two of you are on the quarter deck and turns to look at you with panic all over his face.

“What did I do?”

From your pocket, you pull out a piece of paper like it’s an incriminating piece of evidence, one that he’s stared at for too long, so much so that he can recall every dip and curve of the dry-pressed leaves he added on for a more personal touch. It has sat on his desk for ages, seen all of his turmoils and frustrations over delivering it to you.

The paper contains a mix of poems, haikus, and different confessions Kazuha has been harbouring in his heart for the past few years, ever since the two of you left Inazuma. Your hand clutching his gloved one as the two of you hurry onto Beidou’s boat with nothing but your visions, weapons, and the clothes on your back.

He has loved you for this entire journey, and words could not surmise the depth of his feelings, let alone a measly piece of paper. Some days, it sees the sun when he dares it to, but it always ends up right back on his desk, waiting for the day that it will leave Kazuha’s possession and fall into yours.

This morning was the exact moment. He slipped it in your bag before you went on your expedition, the two of you meeting for a quiet breakfast before his eight-month long expedition, and your two-week one. He had waved you goodbye as far as he could go before leaving Liyue Harbour, even staying on the outskirts until your group left his sight.

Nothing could have prepared him for seeing you so soon, not after putting that letter in your backpack.

“You’re a coward!” You accuse immediately, poking your finger to his chest. “A lousy coward!”

He takes it, knows that he should have just braved his fears and handed it to you in person, but the idea of being rejected on the spot causes his chest to ache in unbearable ways. The samurai rather you read it, then have eight months to prepare for your inevitable rejection.

Yet, he should have known that in the face of a storm, you are the only one brave enough to fight against the waves. Nothing ever goes the way he wants when it’s with you.

“You should probably sit down, Y/n, your legs are shaking and I’ll grab you some-”

Your hands fly up to grab the sleeves of his kimono, whether to stabilise yourself, or to stop him from leaving, or both, he stays. “Kaedehara Kazuha, I like you too,” you declare. “I just ran all the way from Lingju Pass, so I have nothing flowery nor sweet to say like your letter except that you are so very mean for making me come all this way.”

With one last heaved breath, you collapse to your knees. Kazuha, being the gentleman he is, freaks out and mimics your actions, clinging onto your shoulders.

“Y/n!” He calls out, his usually level voice breaching a panicked cry. “You shouldn’t be exerting yourself like this. Stay here, I’ll go grab water water.”

Listening to the samurai, you rest against a nearby pillar, feeling the dull aches in all muscles of your legs. Archons, you’ll feel the pain tenfold tomorrow.

Kazuha returns not too long with a canteen in hand, and he twists it open before handing it to you. After a few beats of tense silence, he speaks up.

“Honestly, I don’t really have anything to say either, I wasn’t expecting to see you for another eight months, and even then, I was expecting a rejection.” He admits sheepishly, a blush blooming along his cheeks. “Maybe an apology for making you run all this way just to see me is my first course of action.”

“Accept my confession first, jerk,” you punch his shoulder lightly, smiling up at him.

“I’ll accept anything so long as it’s from you, I thought I made that clear in my letter.”

“Don’t think you can charm your way into my good graces!”

He thinks it’s adorable that you’re trying to maintain your cool mask despite your inability to look him in the eye, even if he’s hardly faring much better. The usual lyricism of his words have faded, and his quick mind can’t think of anything poetic to say, as if your confession has intercepted all the functions of his brain.

You like him back, you like him back, you like him back, and he doesn’t know what to do with that information except smile like an idiot.

“Are you still going on your expedition?” asks Kazuha. “Your group must be waiting for you.”

“I told them not to, dumped my rations and things with them and told them they could use it. I’m not running all the way back now.”

“Then, does that mean you can join us?”

“I don’t want to intrude, and I don’t know if you have enough things on board for another-”

“-I’m sure Beidou and the crew wouldn’t mind. There are always extra rations, you can have some of mine if it gets to it, and our first stop is at sunset, so we could go and grab some clothes for you to bring along!” He quickly suggests, hope shining brightly in those crimson eyes of his, as if pleading for you to say yes.

The wind blows gently through his beige strands, and the moment feels enchantingly similar to one you had read in an Inazuman poem. Then again, Kazuha always had that effect; the ability to slow time and let you see the world through a different, prettier lens, even if the consequences were completely dire.

You want to continue seeing through his lens, exactly the way you did when both of you fled Inazuma and the Vision hunt Decree. And you want to see the rest of Teyvat the way he does.

“Okay.” You agree, “I’ll come along.”

#CUTIE KAZUHA :((#earthtooz: genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kazuha x reader #kazuha fluff

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