#went ham on the emojis and now my recents I have to start all over oops 😅

[shatterthefragments]

🌸🐝🍯🌧️🎶

Pink flower what is your favorite flower

Ooh. Lily and amaryllis come to mind. I’ve tried many a time to grow lilies. They died. The ones that come back every year without anyone planting them are nice though!!

Peonies too! (One day I’ll be able to draw them in the illustrative style I want to!!)

I’m sure there are others that I just straight up can’t think of AND do not know the names of. I just point when I see them and go FLOWER 😍💖 (I’ve included a few I like that I’ve taken at the bottom 😘)

But also: favourite to do on cakes: has to be the classic rose (also the easiest at this point bc of how many I’ve done. Love rose nails that allow us to do roses. Hate washing them (it’s. Not that bad).)

Bee describe my aesthetic in emojis

💖🫂🖤✍🏼🧜🏼🤷🏻🦊🍃🎍🌑🌊🍓🍋🫙🥟🚣‍♂️🎷🪈🎻🎼🥁🎸🪗⛵️🛶🚉⛲️🏯🏕️🏔️💿🗜️🕰️⏳🕯️🪚🧺🖌️📓📒📖📚🗂️✒️✏️🔇🔔🥀🪷🌲🌳🐦‍🔥🦦🐁🐈‍⬛🦙🦭🐙

But that was me going through all of them. If I summarize:

💖🖤✒️🪈🌊🫂🫙🗜️

Honey describe my favourite smell

Thinks. There are quite a few smells I enjoy now. But. Spiced apple and spiced apple cider/juice. I think that may be my favourite 💖🥰. For sure 💖 (one of the candles I can’t bear to burn that I just leave open for the scent is mulled cider and cinnamon!)

Honourable mentions to lemon, soup, libraries/old bookshops, forests, especially after rain, the ocean, seaweed, most of the time- fish, cats, clean dogs, and fresh sheets (that being said I’m also very scent sensitive too so it’s a balance. Sometimes I gag at the best. Sometimes I really love my favourite scents. Who knows!)

Rain clouds favorite thing to do on a rainy day

If I’m in the city with a Classical Chinese garden, one of my favourite things to do is sit there in a covered area of the garden and ideally draw and listen to the rain and watch it run down the roof tiles and watch it make ripples on the pond and observe the beauty of it all 🥰 (I swear I used to have some photos from the rain on my old phone probably but alas I can’t find them)

If I’m at home, staying all bundled in blankets in bed with the window open 💖

If I’m out and doing things it *has to be* MY CHOICE or I don’t like getting wet if I didn’t choose to. :(

If it was my choice though I like to go to the beach if I have some time :) (only applicable if I drove there or walked a short distance from a set bus stop but only a preferred one I’m already familiar with.)

Music notes favourite song right now?

Well. Miss Darya @moonchild-in-blue has inspired Exploring Birdsong’s Turntail to probably be my current favourite!, 😁 (currently #5 despite listening to only it for. Several days straight now)

But also. Honourable mentions to my recent loops:

Bad Omens’ Dethrone and Kingdom of Cards (currently #1)

Sleep Token’s Shelter (#2) and Telomeres (15) and Blood Sport (7)

And the Aqua Regia Chunt Chunes remix (3) 😬✌️✨ …also Emily Hopkins’ Abelha of course 😌 (it’s #4 on repeat still!!)

[complexgods]

Hi! I saw you're reqs were open now, I was wondering if you could write a mattsun x m! reader x maki? Where the reader has a crush on both of them (they r already dating) where the reader confesses to them and they end up fucking or smth like that? with overstim and light dacryphillia? also can I be 🐝 anon?

Of course! Also, you’re my first emoji anon I’m chxjxkdk 🥰 of course you can! And whooo I’ve been meaning to write a Matsuhana x reader fic for a WHILE this is GOOD okay okay

18+, FEMALE IDENTIFYING READERS AND MINORS DNI

Warnings: Matsukawa x Hanamaki x M!reader, alcohol consumption, threesome, overstim, dacryphilia, praise, degradation, Mattsun has a monster cock

A/N: I'm really sorry this took so long! I just haven't been able to focus on a lot recently and I really went ham on the backstory but I hope you enjoy this! (not proofread because I am so tired)

"So glad you could make it!" Hanamaki greets you at the door with a hug.

"Yeah, sorry I haven't been able to hang out recently, I've just been super busy." You try to justify as you hand Matsukawa a bottle of wine.

It wasn't all true that you were too busy to hang out with your best friends recently, you just had… Issues to work through. Specifically the fact that you were in love with your best friends and they were a couple. It wasn't like you never wanted to hang out with them again, you just hoped that spending some time away from them, working through your feelings might solve the issue. But no, of course, the second Matsukawa flashes you that lazy smile or Hanamaki does just about anything, you're right back where you started. You sigh before joining the two in the kitchen, helping them get everything ready for the movie night you had been planning for weeks.

"So, tell us! What's new with you?" Matsukawa asks, opening the bottle of wine you had brought over.

"Oh not much, you know, work as usual. My boss has been on my ass lately and it's driving me up the wall but, you know." You smile, taking the glass that was handed to you.

"Oh, your boss drives you up the wall huh? Shame. I wanted to do that to you." Hanamaki says with a lopsided grin, and you can't help but blush slightly at the shameless flirting.

"Yeah, you wish." You try to retort, but it's too late. Mattsun and Makki were already exchanging glances.

"What's new with you? Find a job yet, Makki?" You divert the situation, and apparently, it worked.

"Nope. I'm happy to be a househusband as long as Mattsun here brings in the money."

The conversation goes on with no problem after that, and you all quickly fall back into your usual banter. You really did miss hanging out with them like this.

"So, what are we watching?" Mattsun asks, turning to you and Makki sitting on the couch.

"I was thinking Woman In Black," Makki says before downing the rest of his beer.

"Perfect." You and Mattsun say at the same time.

"After all, fear is an aphrodisiac," Makki says, giving you a grin. You turn away in embarrassment. Seriously, what has gotten into Makki tonight? Does he know? You clear your throat and try not to stammer.

"Uh- y-yeah I heard about that… as well…" You pour yourself more wine as you sit back. This was fine. It was fine. Makki just likes teasing, he doesn't actually mean it.

"So… You been seeing anyone lately?" You choke on your wine as Matsukawa just looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Um… Nope, I have not."

"Why? You're hot and charismatic. No guy pique your interest as of late?"

"N- no that's not it."

"Then what, you have a crush on someone?" Makki asks, his eyes shining with excitement.

Maybe it was the wine or just the fact that you couldn't hold your secret any longer, but you couldn't help yourself.

"Yeah, I do, actually."

"Ooooh who is it?" Both of them ask at the same time. You couldn't help but realise that they already know.

"You sure you want to know?" You turn your body to fully face the two, who are nodding with a smirk on their face.

"Fine. I have a crush on both of you. Satisfied?"

"Oh no, honey, we won't be satisfied until you are," Makki says, leaning closer to you.

"You see, we've been wanting to wreck you for a really long time," Mattsun says as Makki makes his way over to your lap, straddling you.

"Really?" You ask, looking up at Makki with big eyes.

"Mhm." He answers before leaning in to kiss you.

"God, you're so hot," Mattsun says from right next to you as Makki deepens the kiss, slowly starting to grind his hips into yours. When you let out a soft moan, Mattsun stops the two of you.

"Don't just hog him, Makki. I want some as well." Makki immediately gets up to let Mattsun take his place, pulling at your hair before kissing you deeply.

At some point, you must've walked over to the bedroom, because now you're lying naked on their bed with Makki on top of you, kissing and biting your neck and collarbone. You groan when Makki grinds down on your length, bucking your hips involuntarily, closing your eyes.

"Oh look at you, so needy for cock, aren't you? Prep him, won't you, Makki darling?" Matsukawa coos as you hear the clinking of a belt.

Seconds later, Mattsun taps the tip of his cock against your lips, and once you manage to focus your eyes on the absolute monstrosity before you, you can't help but choke out another moan.

"So big-" You say with wide eyes as you reach out to touch him.

"Hm. Wonder what it would look like stretching your throat open." Makki says from between your legs before adding a second finger to your hole, making you gasp. Mattsun takes this opportunity to slide inside your mouth, making you gag instantly.

"Come on now, take it, I know you can."

You obey, letting him thrust into you until tears were stinging your eyes.

"Oh, Makki, look at that. He's crying."

"Look at you! Cute boy." Makki praises as he swipes the pre that started to pool on your stomach, licking his fingers clean.

"You taste wonderful, baby. Gonna make you cum from my fingers alone." You want to respond, but Mattsun thrusts into your throat harshly, groaning as you take even more of him.

Once Makki finds your prostate, you are gone, rolling your eyes to the back of your head, cumming untouched.

"Wow, look at that. Such a slut just cumming untouched, aren't you?" You do your best to hum in agreement, which makes Mattsun's dick twitch in your mouth.

"God, your mouth feels so good. I wonder what your little hole would feel like, tightening around my cock."

As Mattsun says this, you feel lube coating your hole before Makki slides inside you, letting out a shaky breath. You whine, still feeling the high from your first orgasm.

"That's right, baby, doing so well for us." Makki coos, thrusting into you, filling you up to the brim.

One hand wraps around your dick and another starts teasing your nipples, and you are too far gone to notice anything else happening. All you know are Mattsun's dick in your mouth, and Makki's in your hole.

"Shit, I'm close," Mattsun moans as he pulls out, cumming all over your face. He kisses you deeply as Makki fucks into you relentlessly, pumping your cock in time with his thrusts.

"Are you gonna cum again? I can feel you twitching, you're close aren't you?" Makki says as he picks up the pace, slamming into you.

You both come at the same time, moaning loudly as you spill onto your stomach, your entire body twitching and feeling overly sensitive from the overstim.

Once you regain your breath, Makki slowly pulls out of you with a hiss, disposing of the condom before laying down next to you and Mattsun.

"Wanna watch Woman In Black now?"

[adistantstarblog]

27 Minutes Ficlet

Hey everyone, here’s a little to say thanks to my followers. You guys are great. Oh and this ficlet may or may not have been based on a real-life event.  😁 I hope you enjoy!  Have a great day!

-=-

It was the middle of the morning and the sound of rain hit the roof of her house. The monsoon season was her favorite time of year, and the best weather to write in, as far as Clarke was concerned. But she was thinking too much, and because of that, she was currently stuck on the same scene she had been stuck on for a couple hours. Picking up her tea, she stared at her screen, held it in front of her face and took a deep breath in.

She did not like the way her writing was going. It sounded too...directive, like she was trying too hard. Clarke took a gulp of her tea and almost choked on it when her phone chimed beside her on the desk. Wiping at her face she grabbed up the phone and saw she had a text from Lexa,

‘Want to talk later?’

Clarke sat back in her chair and read it again, unable to help the smile that spread over her face. They had met online through one of her social media platforms, Lexa had been one of her readers, and though they lived states apart, their friendship was getting stronger and stronger every day. In fact, it was only a month ago Lexa had finally convinced Clarke to let her call her. Now she couldn't get enough. Taking another drink of her tea, Clarke set the glass down and typed back,

‘Sure.’ She added a blushing smiley face emoji and hit send. There wasn’t an answer. But she’d learned Lexa didn’t answer every time. She didn’t have to. They were good enough friends that that was all it took.  But she couldn’t wait for later. Taking a deep breath, Clarke set the phone down and looked at her computer screen to try again. Clarke started to type,

‘Entering the room she saw her mother sat on the couch reading the newspaper..’ 

Clarke frowned. That wasn’t right. Shaking her head she highlighted it all and hit delete. Then tried again, 

‘Walking into the room she saw her mom on the couch. Eliza leaned against the door-frame and smiled, ‘hi mom.’  Her mom looked up from the paper.’

So far, so good, Clarke thought. Then she tried adding more.

‘Eliza watched her mom fold the paper. She knew what she was about to ask but she hoped she wouldn’t. Her mom asked it anyway, 

‘How was your day?’

That completely sucked. Highlighting it all, Clarke hit delete and shoved her chair back from her computer.  Rubbing her forehead with her hands she knew she needed a break. She was at the point now, that no matter what she tried, it only seemed to be making it worse.  Picking up her head she was just about to stand up again when her phone started ringing. She glanced down at it and smiled when she read Lexa’s name as the incoming caller.  She wasn’t expecting the call for hours so it surprised her. Grabbing the phone she answered and put it to her ear, “hello?” she knew she couldn’t keep the frustration from her voice as she got up from her chair.

“Hey!” Lexa sounded happy and it made Clarke smile. She thought she heard a car door open, and then close.  Was Lexa going somewhere?

“Hey,” she pushed in her chair, turned around and flopped on her bed that was just two feet behind her desk. Her desk was gigantic, holding five computers normally it took up half her room, her bed took up most of the rest of the space, “so soon?” Clarke closed her eyes and grinned as she lay spread out on her back. They usually talked late into the night. Into the morning, really. Clarke snorted softly in amusement at that fact. 

“Yeah,” Lexa answered, “It's lunchtime and I was going out to get a pizza and…” she heard a smile in Lexa’s slight pause, “thought I’d take you along. Is that okay? It's a just a few minutes away.”

“Of course!” Clarke answered. She closed her eyes and grinned as she lay spread out on her back, “I mean. I was just about to take a break. I mean..” she sighed, “I really needed one and now’s a good time to take it with you.” She winced. She really needed to stop rambling so much. But when Lexa called, all her game just flew out the window. 

Lexa sounded concerned, “why? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, really,” Clarke blew hair out of her face, “I mean. I’ve just been working on the same thing for hours now and it seems like I’m just making it worse. The mom seems too nosy or something. So yeah, I’ll go with you to get a pizza.” she laughed, “I’m glad you called.” She heard Lexa’s smile,

“You’ll get it. I know you will. And me too. I usually listen to music or something in the car. But since it's so close, I didn’t want to fight with hooking it all up just to, you know, have to unhook it all again after just one song and take it all back inside with me again. So, I thought I’d take you instead.”

“I’ll keep you company,” Clarke laughed, “and talk your ears off while you drive.”

“I like when we talk.” Lexa countered.

 Clarke rolled her eyes in amusement, “me too.” She thought of something, “hey, we are still going to talk later, right?” she remembered the first text Lexa sent about talking later. And if this was it for the day that was okay. But she really enjoyed talking with her late into the night, for hours. Seven hours was usually about the median of the calls. And it felt like she was in high-school again talking on the phone all night, except that, in high school, she hadn’t. 

“Of course, this isn't a substitute one call for another.”

“I didn't think so,” Clarke laughed, “but I still wanted to ask to be sure. I love our all night phone calls.”

Over the line Lexa chuckled, “me too.”

Clarke cleared her throat and tried not to think of the way her heart sped up a little hearing Lexa say that, “so why a pizza?” She asked.

“There's a Game coming on,” she heard Lexa’s grin, “and I'm here at the pizza place, so…” Lexa trailed the word off, “I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” Clarke smiled and relaxed a little more into the bed. She heard Lexa put the phone down and take her seat-belt off, she heard the car door open and then close again. And then, silence.

She imagined her friend walking inside, maybe brushing wrinkles out of her clothes that weren’t there in the first place. Lexa was a very proper person, well, in public, because Clarke laughed thinking of some of the recent calls they had had. They’d spent almost an hour the other night talking about bodily functions like it was the most normal conversation in the world. And it was so easy too. Right from the start, they had just...connected and so far, there hadn’t been a tmi limit at all.  She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of a door open. 

Clarke waited expectantly for her friend to pick up her phone again, but for the first few minutes all Lexa heard was rattling and banging around in the car...which made her laugh under her breath and wonder what exactly was going on.  Did Lexa have to make room for the boxes? How much Pizza did she buy? A chuckle at those thoughts left her as finally Lexa picked back up,

“Okay, two pizzas.” she announced.  Clarke heard the car door close and Lexa start the engine again and the car she was in came back to life. 

“Two?” Clarke laughed, “how in the world are you going to eat all that?”

“Oh, they are personal pan pizzas,” Lexa answered, probably pulling out of the parking lot, because Clarke could tell her thoughts were a little distracted so she was paying attention to the road, “I mean, I wanted two kinds.  But I didn’t want to eat pizza the rest of the week by getting a full size one.”

Clarke laughed again, “yeah...I usually end up eating pizza for at least two days when I go to get one.” there was a place right down the street she could walk to in seven minutes -she had timed it once- and part of her wanted pizza now but she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to walk in the rain. She really, really, didn’t need to get sick right now.  

Lexa laughed over the phone and asked, “what’s your lunch?”

Clarke loved the sound of Lexa’s laugh. It made her heart happier. But she bit her lip because she hadn’t considered it yet and quickly thought of what she had in the kitchen, “pasta,” she said at last, “probably fettuccine alfredo.” 

“That sounds good.”

Clarke rolled over on her stomach and picked at the edge of the blanket, “well…” she teased, “I could put chicken in it.”

“Ew,” Lexa grumbled teasingly, “no..no no no...” 

Clarke just laughed, “but it's my specialty, and you said you eat chicken sometimes.”

“I do.” Lexa admitted, “but you know I’m picky.”

“I know,” Clarke laughed, “that's why I tease you. I mean, come on,” she smiled, “there has to be something you can tease me about.”

Lexa snorted, “actually, I can’t think of anything you’re actually pretty normal.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and smiled because Lexa would of course say that. She sighed though, because she was pretty sure the call would end soon, and she would have to get back to work and Lexa to her day, but she felt better knowing they would talk later, “what pizza’s did you get? Did you get pineapple? Alot of people like pineapple on pizza,” Clarke made a face even though Lexa couldn’t see it, “not me.” she shuddered.

Lexa laughed again, “well one of them is ham and pineapple.” 

“Ugh..” Clarke groaned teasingly, “but whyyyy?” she asked, “why ruin a perfectly good pizza with…”

“The other is pepperoni and mushroom and cheese and olive and um…I don’t know. All kinds of toppings?”

 “Tomato?” Clarke asked smiling again. She sat up on her bed. It was Lexa’s turn to groan now,

 “Ugh..” she said, “tomatoes are squishy.”

Clarke laughed. Lexa did too. And then the line went silent, but it still had a happy edge. Then Lexa sighed and Clarke knew exactly what she was going to say, it was time for her to go. For now.

 “Well, Clarke, I’m home.”

 “Yeah,” Clarke smiled wryly, “I was just going to say you probably have to go.”

 “Yeah,” Lexa admitted, “I have to eat lunch, and you got to work.”

“I do,” Clarke agreed, she glanced over at her computer beckoning her to come back to the fic.  

 “I’ll call later.” Lexa promised. Clarke heard a car door open, she heard Lexa grunting a little and things started banging around in the car again. Then the car door closed. Clarke smiled happily,

 “Okay,” she said, and took a deep breath preparing for the call to end.

 “Bye, Clarke.” 

 Clarke was content, “bye Lexa. Thank you for taking me with you. Feel free to do it again.” 

 “I will,” she could hear Lexa’s smile,”it was fun. Bye.”

 “Bye.” Clarke repeated. It took a few times sometimes to say goodbye. 

 Lexa hung up the phone first, and Clarke studied it a second before swiping through the screen to look at the time on the call. 27 minutes. She laughed. It was a record time because they could go on for hours and not even know it. With a laugh Clarke typed out a text to Lexa informing her they had talked just 27 minutes and sent it off.  Getting up she went back to her computer. 

Outside it was still raining. The soft pattering noise was relaxing. She sat down in her chair and smiled and started typing.  She couldn’t wait for later when they could talk again.

[thejivechild]

Year Three, What a Feat

What up homie,

It’s me again, back to give you your annual fill on all things good, bad and probably boring. It’s weird how long you’ve been gone. It feels like a lifetime in some moments and no time in others, then I look up and realize “three years, so much has happened.” It’s an odd sensation, feeling like days creep by but years vanish in the blink of an eye. Yet here we are, doing our best to look like we’re successful - fake it til you make it, right? Right! I was going to go back and read what I wrote you last year, but I figured it didn’t matter much. So here we go, sorry if any of what I tell you is simply a reiteration of last year’s letter. I’ll borrow from a popular paradigm because I think I’m wed to the idea of you coming back some day. Without further ado, something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.

Something Old: I told you last year was my 1L year, right? Well I finished that in typical basement boy fashion, smoove. It didn’t feel pretty or glamorous when I was in the library reading until my head hurt, but the end result was well worth it and I got my first year of law school outta the way, THANK. GOD. Henry recently met a law student in NYC who described 1L year as “academic hazing” and I couldn’t agree more. It was like being in high school all over again, but with adults who like to use bigger words. I won’t front like I didn’t flex the lexicon at times, but can you blame me?! All in all it was really a massive learning experience. I did my best to bridge the gap in knowledge that I came in with and to ride the learning curve, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t stressful. Onwards and upwards!

Henry remained in Iraq for another year. He started his juice business, er I started it as the idea man (He owes me royalty payments!), and it took off. He’s mastering the art of social media and millennial marketing, which is a massively important skill to have in this day and age. On a different note, he took Zenry to new levels. From telling me he was studying stoicism, to his newfound obsession with healthy diet and living, he did his best to transform into a modern ascetic, and he did it pretty well. Don’t let any of this fool you though, he’s still the same Henry that you man marked in possession drills at Seneca park. Still ratchet as ever, still LITTLE bro, but would we love him if he wasn’t?

Afrika kept his head down and plugged away at success silently and smoothly. He just finished his masters and I’ll be damned if the only notification I got was a hilarious snapchat with the caption “just finished my last presentation.” It’s funny how little he’s changed (or any of us, for that matter) since you’ve been gone. He went to Afrika for most of the summer and did this program called “Kick for Life,” I think. If I butchered the name I apologize, but you can guess what it was from my description. It sucked not having him around all summer, but the snaps made me want to go to Afrika, and I plan to!

Snat and the Kennison house remained the exact same. A band of misfits if I’ve ever seen one, but how on earth could we expect different? Their humble abode remained the place to be on Friday and Saturday nights and like we basement boys have always done, they made it their own unique experience that was unlike any other on earth. Snat continued in “medical sales” if that’s an apt description of what he does - I still don’t really know, and I’m not sure he does either. He wears scrubs, fitting, but he’s certainly no doctor. Doctor of Destruction, maybe. He won awards for whatever the hell he does, took some trips to LA and got medals. I really don’t understand it lol but all success is good success!

Ham and I fell outta touch to a degree, but not for any real reason. I go MIA in Lexington when school gets hectic, so it’s almost entirely my fault, but he knows and understands and doesn’t hold it against me. I was there for his bday (of course) and it was a lot of fun and felt like I hadn’t been gone for a minute. Same inside jokes, same antics, same squad. I pray to god that never changes.

All in all the crew continues to remain largely intact. Life gets in the way sometimes, but rest assured that none of us have forgotten where we came from. It’s still basement boys for life. Thuggish as ever, prettier than before, breaking hearts and chasing dreams haha.

Something New: I deviated from the legal path, albeit temporarily and slightly. I’ve decided to pursue a JD/MA and get my masters in International Relations. It added a year (don’t remind me) to my academic tenure, but I think the end will be well worth the means, ya feel me? It’s putting me closer to a career in international law and eventually world domination. Getting closer to that penthouse! I just finished my first semester, killed it in the classroom, and made some new friends. Truth be told, the extra year sounded awful but I’m halfway through and don’t regret it at all. But enough about me…

Henry’s back in the states! First time in two years. He came back, surprised his mom, then got surprised by me a couple days later. It was long overdue and I think (I know) he missed the freedom that we cherish in the Western world. He left the juice biz and decided to become a #ProReader (his words, not mine). Sadly, his taste in literature is limited to “how to become a millionaire” self-help books, earning him the nickname “self-help henry” or “SHH” for short. I like it because sometimes you just want to tell him “shh” when he goes on his rants about… who knows. That being said, he’s on a real cultural adventure. I think he’s endeavored to see, smell, touch and taste more of the world than he would have had he stayed in the states after school. I hate to mention Drake, but for SHH it fits; he’s trying to live “more life” and he’s succeeding. But despite that, he’s still the little kid who couldn’t hit a long ball to save his life, don’t let him tell you different.

I sort of gave it away, but Afrika is finished with school - for now. He’s toyed with the idea of law school (I told him not to go) and with the idea of a master’s in International Relations (I told him to definitely go) but for now he’s still moving in silence and success. He and I are working on a lengthy research paper and the goal is to get it published in some scholarly journal in the future. Not a ton of new, but certainly priming for massive success in the future.

Snat, oh Snat, Snat’s perhaps made the biggest move of any of us. The child moved to Warshington DC. I STILL don’t know what the kid does for a living, but it took him to our nation’s capital. I think it’s great that he finally spread his wings and got outta town. I visited him recently when I was in DC for a conference and soaked up a little of his new life. It was cool. He lives in a swanky apartment complex in a nice part of town and wears scrubs to work. Most of his neighbors probably think he’s a doctor and I’m sure he’s in no hurry to disprove that theory, but I’m not hating. I told him to get a raise so that when I graduate we can be roommates (again, coming for that penthouse). He and Mcaddams are still a love story for the ages. Still posting the cheesiest pictures online and conjoined at the hip, even from hundreds of miles away! It’s a site to behold haha, but they’re happy which is all that matters. I drop the occasional comment riddled with unnecessary emojis and exclamation marks on their FB photos.

Sadly, I can’t tell you how much new has gone on in Ham’s life, but I do know that he’s moved up the corporate ladder. I want to say he’s some sort of manager now, you know, still living the life of a team captain just in a different arena.

I should mention the coolest thing (IMO) that we did this year. Two nights before Thanksgiving I was in the shower when I had an epiphany. “People always play Thanksgiving morning football games,” I thought “we should do a soccer game.” A minute or so later it hit me again, “we should do it in honor of Spotie. Eventually, we should make it a charity game.” And on and on and on. I was on a roll and it just made so much sense. We (Me, afrika, snat, henry and several others) put a plan into motion and on Thanksgiving morning we held the first ever Nick Spaulding Memorial Soccer Game at, you guessed it, Seneca Park. It was great. So many people showed up and played, cheered and braved the ice cold for you. Some of us came out of retirement, some of us rose from the dead, some of us played in what probably felt like slow motion, but all of us had fun. It was, is and will surely always be a highlight of this year and many to come. It was grassroots and unorganized, but it laid the foundation for what is going to become an incredible annual event, I promise. Check my FB and see how many people showed love!

Optimism over everything. Life is going pretty well on all fronts. There’s no huge drama to report, no heartbreak or endless sadness. There have been some utterly devastating moments, but those aren’t to overshadow the unbreakable happiness and the ties that can’t and won’t ever be undone. People grow up, people grow out and people grow apart, but the latter certainly isn’t us. We’ve all grown up and grown out in many ways but we haven’t grown apart. Time may pass and we may not speak daily, but the same principles apply and the same standards are adhered to. We’ve all got each other’s backs no matter where in the world or when in time something comes up. It’s actually insane to think about. Nothing could break these ties, no force on earth or in heaven has that kind of strength.

Something Borrowed: We’ve all reached a point where life has become real, but that’s not to say that it’s hardened us or erased memories of our pasts. I won’t speak for everyone, but sometimes I wake up mad. Sometimes I wake up sad. Sometimes I wake up and the last thing on earth I want to do is go exercise, or go to class, or face the day. Sometimes I wonder why any of this ever happened to me, or how it could have. I often think “I’m too fucking smart to have let things play out the way they did.” It’s moments like that when I’m most humbled. It’s moments like that when I realize that some things are just out of my hands. It’s moments like that when I remember that I’m human and that my struggles and my flaws are as visceral and real as anybody else’s. Those kinds of moments scare me. It’s a delicate balance between survivor’s guilt and self-perceived invincibility. Sometimes I cry and ask myself why it wasn’t me. Sometimes I grin and think “I survived that, how the hell could this stop me?” Sometimes I don’t think about it at all, because it doesn’t make any sense. One thing stays consistent though, through all of those emotions I learn. I learn about myself and what I’m made of and what I can and can’t handle. It has certainly raised my self-awareness and for that I am thankful.

If I had to describe the past three years in one word I’d say they’ve been incredibly educational. Academically, sure, but I’ve learned a lot of intangibles as well. I’ve learned that there are certain, unavoidable truths that we’ve all got to come to terms with. For example: it’s entirely possible that any given day can be the worst day of your life. It’s absolutely terrifying how fragile this existence is and how temporary. But in the same vein, there exists a light in all of us. A light that cannot be extinguished unless we ourselves choose to do so. And that is perhaps the most beautiful thing. Because while any given day can be the worst of your life, the chances are equally likely, if not better, that any given day can also be the best day of your life.

Something Blue: So instead of today and all subsequent December 20th’s being the hardest days of my year I’m vowing to make them the easiest days of my year. I vow to make them full of nothing but happiness and laughter and joy and remembrance. I do it in your name and your likeness. I do it for Momma Ros and Dr. Spauld who, although they never dreamed they’d have to, now live on in your image. They now perpetuate your legacy and your memory, as we all do. I know I live in your shoes when I stand up for what I believe is right and unashamedly wear my heart on my sleeve, or when I stumble into something delicate like a clumsy, lovable bull in a china shop. I’m not religious, you know that, but before I do anything big I say a prayer for success. Not to god, but to you, my brother. I always ask you to send a little extra basement boyness my way and to give me a little help from the other side. I walk with my chin held high knowing that I’ve got the greatest good luck charm in the universe and my best friend on my side. I smile through the tears, knowing that my ambition, our ambition, far exceeds my talent but that it will be the driving force behind the change that WE affect. There’s something holy about the connection we have, even after all these years. There’s something incredibly about the intangible and invisible. I know it’s there, I feel it every day. You know it’s there, you always send it my way. It’s comforting knowing that no matter what life throws at me I’ve got a partner in crime. So, I laugh when I want to cry, I joke when I want to give up, I grin when things get harder and I welcome every challenge that comes my way. I don’t flinch at the thought of studying until 2 in the morning, or running until I can’t feel my legs. Bring it fucking on. Because I know that when I’ve fought until I can’t fight anymore, when I’ve given everything I have and when I think I can no longer go on, well that’s when you come in. That’s when you give me that little bit of strength, that nobody else has. That’s when you serve that shot of extraterrestrial espresso that fuels me. Someone asked me how I did it earlier this year, where my drive came from. I smiled and simply replied “my ambition is wicked,” and it is. OUR ambition is wicked.

After three years I can comfortably say that my life is great. I can comfortably say that we’ve all grown and learned and matured in immeasurable ways. I can comfortably tell you that we’re all going to be fine. We’ve gone different ways, but our ties have remained constant and strong. The sun rises and sets every day and each passing day brings us all one day closer to that thugs mansion reunion that we all so desperately yearn for. Although each new day brings new experiences and new reasons to be thankful we don’t forget about you. We don’t cease to make you proud nor do we move past you. Your memory lives on in all of us, even if we don’t actively express it. We work harder, stay up later and get up earlier because we’re all trying to build our own penthouse apartments, our own sky-high, iced out paradises in the sky. Do you want know why I’m so obsessed with penthouses? Why I’ve talked about them for the past three years? Not because it signifies wealth, or achievement, or luxury but because it’ll put me that much fucking closer to you. I love you, my brother. I can’t wait to see you again, but I promise I won’t come a minute early. I won’t come til I’ve left my legacy and til I’ve made you proud. Be good up there and don’t forget about me, I promise I won’t forget about you. I won’t let people forget about you. Take care and have a good year. I’ll be back next year with another letter. Tell the post-man to expect it.

XX XII XIV

Your Brother

[doycetopia]

Masks "Menagerie" Campaign - Session 6 to 10

It’s been awhile since I’ve written about our ongoing Masks game (superhero antics in the vein of Young Justice, Teen Titans, or Avengers Academy), but that in no way means the game itself has slowed. Quite the opposite.

So, if only for the sake of bragging, I thought I’d catch things up.

The last time, I covered sessions 0 though 5. This time, it’s sessions 6 to 15, so buckle up.

Before I get rolling, I want to recognize two resources that have made this broad overview far more manageable.

The first is the forum that is automatically made available for any campaign you set up on Roll20.net. (Our game is played online, and while the voice chat isn’t able to handle our group’s particular challenges, the other tools it provides are invaluable.) The forum lives here, and sees continuous, nigh-daily activity in the form of fiction, world-building, general discussion, and (of course) the blow-by-blow Actual Play summaries – usually authored by Dave Hill – which supplement if not completely stand in for my spotty recollection.

(Said forum has been made even more valuable with the addition of a custom coded search/scraper that Bill forced around roll20’s forum code at great personal effort.)

The second tool is a more recent addition to our electronic tool box, a wiki built and customized (again, mostly) by two of the players, Bill and Mike. Thanks to the organization of the wiki (and downright sexy layout), I’m able to excavate all kinds of trivia and bits of game lore that might otherwise have flared and died within minutes of being introduced into a session.

With that out of the way…

When We Last Left Our Heroes…

Sessions 1 though 5 were mostly about introducing the heroes to the people of Halcyon, and the players (and myself) to the Masks system. They had a morning show interview, a downtown brawl with some bad guys, and then rode the fallout from those events, (including the speedster getting temporarily lost in an alternate, devastated version of Earth.)

Session five saw the team looking forward or inward – taking stock of the problems they had on their plate and making plans to deal with them.

It also saw their team coming to the attention of AEGIS, the SHIELD-esque organization of the Masks universe.

Issue 6

Issue 6 recording on YouTube

AP Report

One of the directives for a Masks GM is presenting adults as supportive but short-sighted; willing to help but always pushing their own vision and agenda on the teen heroes – help with strings attached. Okay.

Enter Agent Ted Waters (who’s probably going to be the most supportive, least strings-attached adult in the game – though that’s a low bar), an experienced AEGIS agent and the father-figure/handler for Link (whose actual father is super-villain Rossum the Minion Maker). Waters shows up at Quill Industries (the ‘sanctum’ for the team’s Doomed character) with paperwork in hand that will officially recognize the team by AEGIS… a move AEGIS hasn’t… umm…. actually sanctioned?

This paperwork is simple – it merely requires the team pick a name and an official leader. Easy, right?

The name had been under discussion via in-character posts on the forum, but we hadn’t brought it to the forefront yet. This was meant to facilitate that. They tell Ted the team will be the Menagerie and it gets the expected, bemused response from the older man (a good sign you’re on the right track in a teen-oriented game).

The ‘strings’ attached to this bit of help were more meta-level than an actual condition offered by Waters – the team had to pick a leader; a requirement I thought might generate some drama/angst/hand-wringing/reflection/et cetera.

It did all those things, so yay. 🙂

The team eventually settled on Jason Quill (the Doomed, played by Dave), a decision which the team treated with varying levels of seriousness. (Jason on one end of the panic-stricken-with-the-weighty-responsibility spectrum; speedster Mercury (Kay) providing the ‘whatever man paperwork is boring just write something in it doesn’t matter’ counterbalance.)

While Jason continued to process this development, Ghost Girl went and got herself in one kind of trouble (attacked by someone who saw her as a dangerous menace, starting both an arc and introducing her current Mundane-vs-Freak Hook), while Like found another (investigating a mutual friend’s disappearance and running afoul their supernatural kidnapper).

This development brought us to the end of the session with the team rushing to help GG, but split (“where the hell is Link?”), and under a leader (technically) who was still a bit in shock.

Issue 7: If the Graveyard Be My Destiny!

Issue 7 on YouTube

AP Report

(All credit to Dave for the comic-book-classic session titles.

This session was meant to introduce one of Ghost Girl’s issues and a sort-of nemesis; Ghostheart (one of the characters from the Masks Deck of Villains) whose main deal is obsessively keeping living people over THERE, and dead people over THERE, and NO TOUCHING NO TOUCHING NOT EVER.

Charlotte is all about connecting with people amongst both the living and dead (she’s playing the Outsider playbook, and filled with wonder at the modern world in which she now finds herself), so Ghostheart seemed almost a custom-written enemy for her.

Most of the session was a nighttime fight at GG’s home cemetery against Ghostheart and a couple of his summoned demonic henchthings – Rawhide and I-Didnt-Catch-the-Other-Guy’s-Name. After the fight (and some really stilted, useless, uncomfortable leadership, beautifully delivered by Dave), the heroes (reunited, since Link was tussling with Rawhide on his own, initially) tracked down and rescued the kidnappee “@powerpony” – an online-mutual of both Link and GG’s (PC-NPC-PC relationship triangles are good – need more of those).

Offscreen

The players conducted a couple Google-Doc-based scenes after this session, simply to get them done in satisfying fashion without taking up too much in-game time.

The first was Link talking with green-lantern/Blue-beetle-esque Concord about the details of the kid’s powers.

The second was between Link and Jason – an often tense but ultimately fruitful and relationship-building ‘discussion’ about what kind of leadership the team really needed (and what kind Jason could legitimately provide).

Both scenes were great, and the ‘offline’ RP option proved a good one, though we try not to use it too much, as it tends to move characters whose players have the mid-week bandwidth for such things further center stage, in a play environment (online, short sessions) where it already seems someone ends up drawing the Spotlight Short Straw every week.

Issue 8: Lo, There Shall Be an Evening of Character Interaction!

Issue 8 on YouTube

AP Report

As a means of exploring GG’s current Hook (her Mundane connections with others, versus the Freak nature of her powers), we also learned a bit more about why Ghostheart wanted GG out of public circulation – her interactions with the Living were creating some kind of ectoplasmic catnip that would inevitably attract a terrible entity known as Pandemonium to the material world.

The only way she could guarantee her living friends’ safety was stay away from them. Which sucks.

AEGIS rolled back into the picture much sooner than anyone expected, as the team called them back to take Ghostheart into custody. (The team opts NOT to go the morally-and logically-questionable route of the Flash CW show, with villains held without due process, inside a particle accelerator, and fed Big Belly Burgers on a… mostly daily schedule.)

The rest of the session involved the team either trying to help each other out with Comfort and Support-based roleplaying (with mixed but fascinating and sometimes hilarious results), or working through their own problems; Link’s robotic not-girlfriend Pneuma announced she was departing Halcyon for a bit to visit ‘someone’ in Japan, while Jason went down a digital rabbit hole, investigating how and why his nemesis Alycia Chin infiltrated Quill Compound as a lowly warehouse employee for a month.

Jason’s investigation led to a great scene where he uses his nanobots and latent genius to analyze Alycia Chin’s actions, and gets knocked cold in the process via some kind of latent … mental … something … Alycia left behind in the video recordings of her activities. Remote Memetic Programming, maybe? Image-gestalt boobytrap? That would be bad.

Issue 9: Sizzling Big Adult-Influence Issue!

The Beginning of the Day From Hell

Issue 9 on YouTube

AP Report

Morning! The second Weekday of the campaign, and time once again for all good heroes to… get to school.

(Assuming they aren’t a ghost from the civil war, or unconscious, of course.)

A while back, Concord’s player had started a discussion on the forum where we all talked about whether the Nova playbook was working for him, and we collectively came to the conclusion that the Janus playbook worked better. So we retconned it.

This session was the one where we started to get into that ‘dual identity’ drama a bit more, very literally in this case (because I am a ham-fisted hack) with Concord trying to help Link with an unconscious Jason (via an energy construct copy of himself) while simultaneously attending school in his ‘real’ body. He didn’t exactly balance this out well, and ended up being sent to the principal’s office when he confused his multiple mouths and remonstrated his English teacher for being a ‘walking deceit’ when he meant to be talking to the vision of Alycia Chin in Jason’s head.

I’d call this situation a solid B effort on my part. Maybe a B-. We get better at this in short order, though, so I’m not going to beat myself up too much.

Meanwhile, Mercury and Ghost Girl spent the morning reaching out to adults for advice and input, before Mercury had to get to school.

Harry’s dad-joking, eggplant-emoji-texting dad, Silver Streak.

This is always a fraught situation in Masks – going into a scene with an adult or adults in Masks carries an undercurrent of threat akin to an armed parley with A-level super-villains. Honestly I’ve never done as much broad-spectrum damage to the team with a bad guy as I have in scenes with their well-meaning mentors dispensing advice, constructive feedback, and (horror of horrors) heartfelt praise.

It didn’t really go better here, with both Harry’s dad and the retired ‘grail knight’ Armiger (Lucius, owner/operator of the Has Beans coffee shop, downtown) kicking in their two cents about Ghost Girl’s ongoing Ghostheart/Pandemonium problem, what they thought the kids should do about it (and, ultimately, who they thought the kids should be.) They got what they were after, but Ghost Girl at least wasn’t feeling great about it afterwards, which lead to some Condition-clearing reckless behavior later. (As it should.)

Issue 10: Halcyon High-Jinks (Hell Day, Part 2)

Issue 10 on Youtube

AP Report

Dave, Margie, and Katherine were all out of town, which left Jason recovering from his tussle with not-Alycia, Ghost Girl roaming the city doing reckless things without consulting the team, and Harry actually attending Gardner Academy (the private high school that tends to specialize in rich kids and publicly recognized supers).

Concord and Link, on the other hand, are on their way to HHS – Halcyon High South – part of the public school system, where they academically toil in relative anonymity.

Bill and Mike (and I) were excited to play around with that classic of teen superhero comics, the high school, so we had a good time with this. First order of business was to establish the normal day, and I had fun introducing some of the faculty, and went to the players to fill in NPCs (which gave us the wonderful Ms. “No!” Rodriguez, Leo’s lab partner.

I also introduced Taz, a new transfer and tech-nerd who seemed to either be a bit on the spectrum or way over-informed about Leo, or both. She showed up both in Leo’s chem class as well as at lunch with Leo and Adam, and was generally fun to play, freaked out the players a skosh, and has more going on that I’m looking forward to getting into.

With the norm established, it was time to get some Concord-grade villains on the stage, and that mean “galactic” villains. For this, I went back to the Deck of Villainy and pulled out The Farlander (who is just too weird looking and fun to play) and Sablestar who, by sheer coincidence in visual design, seemed to be … related to Concord and his powers in some way. There’s some vague hand-waving on her card about being a member of the Void Collective and something of a space-anarchist, but I already have an anarchist villain, so Sablestar and the VC became a kind of counter-(if not anti-)Concordance, in my head. We’ll see how that fleshes out over time.

So: a bit of fighting at the school with The Farlander, and the introduction of Sablestar, and as things get complicated we call it for the night, ready to bring in the rest of the team next session as things heat up.

That’s five of the ten sessions I wanted to cover, so I’ll stop here and do 11 to 15 in the next post. More soon!

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