#went from taking 2 months to 2 days to draw sth to completion

[crychan]

he like his personal space...

[freuleinanna]

It's always trauma o'clock somewhere! Especially for these kids who had to come home and lie about why they returned from the camp a day later. They hardly had a chance to unpack the recent trauma, but I think this is how the HQ massacre affected their lives afterwards.

Jacob, as many others, chose a half-truth and told his parents that some jerk broke the car to stay with his girlfriend. He omitted the part where that jerk was him. Couldn't bear that guilt.

He was a decent swimmer and wanted to maybe take it professionally, but the next time he found himself at the pool, he completely froze at the signal. He never dived in that day. He stared at the blue-tiled water, and he saw the chains and the overblown body.

He found Emma on Instagram and, for a while, he was checking it obsessively, hoping she'd talk about what happened or mention it in some way, any way. He wanted to stop being so alone in knowing the truth and living with it. Emma never did that.

Emma, actually, fell silent for almost 2 months after her return. She'd speak the bare minimum, but never an actual conversation, never a joke. The happy, bubbly girl simply wasn't there. Her parents even took her to a teen therapist with little to no result.

Emma had stopped streaming for a while, although she still kept her Insta. One time she almost posted a selfie from that day, before the nightfall. Almost.

Some time later, she set up a really non-Emma-esque live stream. She was sitting in silence, looking at the sunset, the comment section was overflowing, and sometimes Emma would pick a question to answer from there. Many thought she was doing some sort of spiritual cleanse. She only spoke without a prompt for the first time when she saw Abi joining the stream.

For Abi, it was nightmares. That simple, that efficient. Dark forests, mist, dangerous beasts lurking around. What else to screw with the sleep of a sweet, tender person?

Movies on the background didn't help. Music didn't help. Drawing made everything worse, because in every shape, form, and shadow, beasts were lurking. Whenever she'd pick up a pencil to sketch, she left monsters on the paper. Wherever she looked, she saw monsters. Monsters always looked just a little bit like Nick.

It went on until the night she looked Emma up on Insta and, by pure coincidence, got to her live stream.

Nick blocked most of it out. There wasn't much to remember, but some memories still bled through.

He became the snack guy, the guy who always had something to chew on. It was a small quirk nobody was really paying attention to, but its trail led back to the only thing he did remember: hunger.

Whenever he emailed, Abi never replied.

Ryan, on the contrary, was replying to and receiving a LOT of emails. He was the one to send all the evidence to the Bizarre Yet Bonafide studio, and he also kept in touch with a few other Hacketteers, including Kaitlyn and Dylan.

Another thing he did is meticulously go through all his favorite media (TV & films mostly) and unbooked/deleted everything that dealt with guns being shot or vivid descriptions of wild animals (or their victims). This took him several hard days, but he finally felt safer when he did it.

He only watched something new if Dylan watched it first and gave him an okay.

Dylan, as opposed to Ryan, consumed horror content like his life depended on it. At some point, he even had a special notepad with details of how to defeat or protect yourself from all supernatural dangers and their mother. He kept this notepad on him at all times and often re-read it.

Getting used to not having a hand was slightly easier than he expected. What wasn't easy? That one time when his dad asked him to bring him sth to work. His father, a crane conductor on a construction site, did not expect his grown son to have a full-blown panic attack over a pb&j.

On the other hand (his joke, not mine), he got really close with Ryan and Kat, and they were planning a getaway together.

Kaitlyn was the one to propose the getaway. Despite the general total mindfuck, she managed to keep a cool head on the night of, and, surprisingly, it didn't cost her a hand and a leg (her joke, not mine!)

Thus, she became a healer. Reaching out, making sure. Helping. She didn't make it her sacred goal to help all others, but she tried, and that's what counts.

She kept tabs on Jacob especially. She knew he'd never ask for help. He didn't have to ask. That's what best friends are for.

Max never met any of those people, except Emma. That one time he bit his lip and nearly puked because he thought he remembered the taste of blood.

He topped his steak-cooking up to inventing the well-well-well-done steak without any possibility of there being blood.

Mostly, he just wasn't sure if he knew his own nature anymore. As the whole night was blocked in his mind, he could only trust Laura. And he did. The fact that she looked at him even more lovingly than before told him that if she trusts him, if she loves him, than it's okay.

Laura did trust him and loved him. But she also ran a gazillion of drills per week and kept at least two take-and-run bags in the house, and one in a special place. Clothes, flashlights, crackers, compass, you name it. She was an amateur that last time. Now she was ready for anything.

She took up running as well. She continued with vet studies. Even years after, the first thought that sprung to her mind if someone was butten by an animal was: CUT THE FUCKING LIMB.

Max kept her grounded with his laugh and his honest, sincere warmth. She could have gone really cold inside if it wasn't for him.

[megacarapa]

i finally got off my ass to compile all these into a post, heres all the stuff i made at the ceramics class i went to *checks date* 3 MONTHS AGO??? by lord time moves fast these days

individual/process photos under the cut, fair warning for a loooot of pictures like a LOT

general process pics

bowls

plate 1

plate 2 + whatever this heart shape thing is

maja ended up taking both of them to use for jewelry as pictured above, by this point i feel the need to explain that the entire time i was in this class i had no fucking idea what i was doing and didnt really prepare in the sense of think about what kind of stuff i want to make, so i just spent the whole time making random stuff (except for 2 which i will show in a bit) hence this random heart and whatever this alien colored thing up next is

^im thinking im probably gonna gift this to my neighbour to use as an ashtray

another random one but im gonna use it as a candle holder

random figures i made while trying to figure out what to make next that i didnt think would survive the bake but the prof baked them anyway and they... kinda survived but they both just kept going through accident after accident and ended up Like That

they’ve been through it all DFGDFGDFG the reason why the snowman is green is bc when we were painting them it took me a while to paint all of my stuff so by the time i was finishing my last one they were already packing up all the colors and when i finished i noticed i forgot to paint the snowman and green was one of the only colors left so i just. dipped him in the green real quick so now hes a fucked up little alien snowman

it begs the question of is it better to exist in a non-fucked up state or to just not exist at all? they may both be fucked up but i made them and theyre mine and i love them so much.

onto the last 2 things which are the ones im actually really happy with - this plate (?? english is hard) for holding cake i made at mom’s request

and this cat bowl i made trying to make sth like this

lots of pictures bc its my pride and joy lmao i love it SO MUCH😭😭 i was origianlly planning to draw a face like >.< on the cat but as i said i was rushing to finish all the painting and completely forgot to draw a face sdgdfg, but judging from how well the face on the other cat ended up maybe its better this way

and so while i was actually attending the class i had no ideas of what i wanted to make but i swear to god the SECOND i finished the class i started seeing a bunch of cool ceramics everywhere and being like OMG I WANNA MAKE THAT I WANNA MAKE THAT but i CANT anymore bc the class is over and UGHHHH I MISS CERAMICS SO MUCH TAKE ME BACK BABY I PROMISE IVE CHANGED OTL

in summary this class was really nice and i obviously still have a shit ton to learn so im really hoping i can do something like this again in the future o(-(

[mistergothlord]

Ask you anything: What is your biggest regret?

Again, apologies for the lack of response. Apparantly, the Tumblr app enjoys being an impulsive rodent when it comes to inbox notifications.

As for the question, I can go on and on about my regrets, some that are far as simple and useless, and the other more reasonable and still haunt me to this day.

These three, however, remain as a stain.

1.) The first mistake I made was tampering with multiple fandoms, specifically the WC and STH fandom, when I was just a younger lad. I wanted to see how angry the people would get just by drawing the worst crack ships unimaginable, playing a personality of a thirteen-year-old freak, create satirical OCs, and the constant adult jokes equivalent to Seth MacFarlane.  It was so hostile that people went as far as posting my art onto bad art blogs, and I had to immediately stop just to tell the people who ran the blogs to take it down. I left the fanbases a year after the incident, never to speak of it again.

Whenever I think back to when I was younger, it gets all over my head like the plague to where I don’t even eat for a day. It’s just a middle school regret, yes, but it’s the worst. Fortunately though, all of this idiocy was how I met my first few online friends within a week and how I joined an animation team full of MLP fans.

And even to this day, I always set up an FAQ on my DA, telling people not to post my art on other websites without my consent.

2.) The second one was a creation of an OC I made back in 2013, who I won’t mention at all or even ever, because it’s just that grotesque.

I’ve long feared that this regret would be brought up again, and the pain is more than I can bear.

I remember when I used to run multiple ask blogs to where my sister would ask me, “How are you handling all of them at once?” The answer was that I was extremely addicted to MLP and DCMK at the time, and those two were all I could think about. Of course, I tried to get her to watch it, but she kept running away whenever I forced her on my chair, but that’s another story.

Anyway, the character I made back in 2013 was just a basic “Black and blue” kind of original character you’d find on the internet, complete with a tragic backstory, bizarre plotholes that barely connect, and Homestuck handwriting. However, people didn’t really care about the character, and I was delighted when people would come to ask my character one question after another, so much so that I would draw their character, and they would reblog it, and I’d happily watch as the notes arise above.

This is where it leads to the story of my ex-friend.

I remember when we met each other on Tumblr, with each other envious with our art styles. I would enjoy everything they drew, and would try the best I can to motivate them. I even went as far as talking to their friends, too! Ah, I would go to all the things we’ve done, but that’ll be all you’ll know.

One day, I went way too far with our characters, and they called me out for behaving immaturely. We didn’t talk for a month, and I had a plethora to think about for my actions, since all I’ve done was spamming the tags to no end and roleplaying with other RP blogs. Say it wasn’t my fault, but I was responsible for my unforgivable deeds. Of course, we started talking again, but they began to become toxic, mostly by gossiping behind my back with their other friends. I began to do all that I can to make prove that I was loyal, and that created a huge disaster on my mental health. 

The more toxic they were, the more I hated the character I created. In hopes I can start over, I decided to change my character’s design and personality, but I was still continued to be treated like a burden. Eventually, by the end of the year, I decided that they’ve pushed me past the breaking point, and immediately removed them from my life. I’ve went as far as avoiding them.

All of this was because I created a character that destroyed my health and my relationship. While I usually forget things for about an hour or even two days, this took me about two years to forget that this ever happened AND to get back up again. But the worst part was that it nearly damaged my reputation as an artist, and thank bloody god I sold them away to another artist.

And that, comrades, is how not to create a character for people to like! :D

3.) My first boyfriend. 

Oh, middle school days was always about getting yourself a nice fiance and doing the best in the bed. However, I was told by my family to never get a boyfriend, because they constantly watched Fox News everyday, and I had to sit in my desk and watch in envy as I saw one girl after another kiss their precious sweetheart in public.

One day, a friend of mine went up to me and started asking me personal questions, such as what do I like to draw, what place do I love going to, etc. This would only force me to run away as fast as I could to my P.E class. This would continue for about a month, until he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. I was as ignorant as a runt at the time, and I was already under his spell, so accepting them was all I could do.

We exchanged phone numbers, called each other silently every Saturday, and subject his little brother to torment. We were in love so much, but it didn’t last as long as it would. When my big sis found out, boy did I get a long lecture on why I shouldn’t get a boyfriend, and forced myself to break up with him.

After that, he kept crawling back to me, and I started to realize that my sister was in the right all along, for he revealed that he just wanted to get in my pants, and was found with ANOTHER girl who was two years older than him. In anger, I told my sister about this, and we were nearly close to plotting his demise, via beating him up mercilessly.

He still talked to me in high school, but he then disappeared during my final weeks as a freshman. I discovered that he literally had another girlfriend and got them pregnant, and was expelled from the school after she died. To say the least, he was one of those people who made me declare myself to never fall in love again. That went the same for another girl who attempted to ask me out on a date.

And that was also how I obtained the personality of any protagonist in any film noir you can think of.