#went from being unsure about even sharing her to talking about her SO much

[sebsbarnes]

hole in the wall || pietro maximoff

pietro maximoff x f!reader

summary: despite barely knowing the brainwashed girl beyond the wall, pietro refused to hurt her, no matter how much she hurt him.

word count: 5k+

warnings: fighting, none rlly??

a/n: the russian is translated so i apologize if the translation is wrong. i wrote for pietro years ago but this is my first time in awhile :P reader is subjected to the same torture as bucky bc the character is kinda him, inaccuracies in the mcu but nothing crazy

masterlist

pietro often wondered about the girl who was held next door. he'd hear the screeching metal against the floor followed by a slight commotion and then a thud on the floor. small shuffling could be heard and then it was silence. no movement, no talking, no heavy breathing or cries, silence until the next time the metal door unleashed its harrowing song, and large boots could be heard entering the cell and dragging the girl away.

pietro couldn't tell how long he'd really been here nor how long it had been since the mysterious girl next to him was there but he did know it had been months on end and yet he had never seen a glimpse of the girl that shared the wall with him.

there was a small hole in the cement that allowed him to peer into the girl's cell but each time he looked he was met with the grey wall from beyond. he had heard murmurs that she was young like him and wanda. strong, fearless, one of the doctor's favorites. she was often sent out on missions and came back unscathed. each mission she was sent on was a success as if the concept of failure was unfathomable. she apparently spoke little, only when instructed, never talked back, never laughed, never screamed. almost robotic.

which is why it came to pietro's surprise after hearing the thud of her knees hit the floor and the guards march away he heard a soft sniffle. and then slightly louder ones followed by rapid and heavy breathing. pietro scuffled over to the hole in the wall and peered through. he could see her sitting against the far wall with her legs tucked closely to her, her forehead resting on her knees. he could only see half her body from where she was sitting but he could see her shoulder shaking.

"you... you need to breathe in and out. you are going to make yourself pass out," pietro was unsure, his voice quiet but loud enough for her to hear. her head shot up and looked directly at the hole. her hair was sticking to her face, her mouth was slightly parted, and eyes wide and red.

"it's okay. my name is pietro. you don't need to talk but i... i wanted to see if you are okay. you've never even made a noise before now," he felt funny slightly confessing the fact he's been taking note of your actions.

he watched as you wiped the tears off your cheek and raked the hair off your face.

"i don't know how i am," your voice sounded like you hadn't spoken in days.

"it's okay to not know."

from where you sat you could only see the boy's eye. it was a striking blue, "like the sky," you murmured.

"what?" you heard the voice call back.

you slowly stood up dragging your chained feet over to the wall. you held the wall, steadying yourself before sitting with a huff, "your eyes remind me of the sky."

pietro wasn't sure what to say back. he went months not hearing your voice or seeing you, only knowing the tales that the guards spoke of yet here you were inches from him, broken down and giving a compliment. a much different reality to the one he thought he knew before.

pietro didn't hear another word from you, he assumed you fell asleep against the wall. he tried looking through the hole at any angle he could to see you, but all he noticed was a piece of metal gleaming from the dull light in your cell.

a few days had passed since the interaction and pietro had little time to dwell on it. his testing was getting more intense, he was constantly being injected with needles he knew nothing about, there were many monitors reading whatever vitals they needed to document, and his training was becoming more rigorous. he was exhausted, he hadn't been in his cell in two days, and although the cell offered no comfort he much rather be locked behind the bars than strapped to a table.

the guards pushed him down the hallway, taunting him. each time he stood up they would push him back down. the shackles on his wrists rubbed his skin raw and those around his ankles prevented him from running. the guard gripped his shoulder tightly walking past wanda's cell as she called out to her brother.

"wanda!" he screamed out as he watched the other guard reach through the bars and grip at her neck. the guard holding onto him roughly pushed him into the cell causing him to stumble and land on his shoulder, his face grazed the cement floor.

you had heard the commotion from your cell, you stood at the door looking over at the guards who simply laughed at the twins who were now in pain. all you could do was grimace. you hated this, you hated this place, each day you yearned to leave this hell hole you've called home. you heard pietro scream in frustration and then heard his rapid movements as he ran around his cell, thrashing against the walls.

you had seen pietro from a distance a few times. you were never allowed to be near the enhanced people and only managed glimpses of them. you had seen his super speed and the way the scientists trained him. it was brutal and he endured a lot just from the few moments you had witnessed. you started to notice that after particularly rough days he would do this, run back and forth for what seemed like hours on end. slamming into the cement walls that would somehow rattle from the force. he would yell in anger, cursing the guards and scientists for what they were doing.

the noise settled and you hesitantly sat in front of the small hole. you could see his large frame hunched over catching his breath. he ran a hand through his messy silver hair, his white tank top was dirty and slightly damp from his running. you peered behind your shoulder at the hallway making sure it was empty. you swallowed thickly with nerves in fear of getting caught before forcing three fingers into the hole and ripping the cement block from the wall. you could now fit your head through the hole comfortably if you wanted to.

"pietro," you said placing the block beside you. he faltered and gestured with an open hand in confusion at the now gaping hole in the wall. you couldn't help but pull your lips into a tight light suppressing the laugh you wanted to let out at the look on his face. using his speed he rushed to face you, eyes wide examining the open edges of the cement.

"you-"

"are strong," you cut him off jokingly.

the two of you sat staring at each other. it was weird to be face to face after countless months of unknowing the other despite being separated by only a wall. you took in his appearance. he was handsome. up close you could now see the slight curls to his hair and the short facial hair. his shoulders broad and built. under his sky-blue eyes were dark circles from the lack of sleep but it suited him. he was stunning and pietro was thinking the same about you. your hair fell haphazardly across your forehead. your eyes were kind and gentle, much different than the stone-cold eyes he had imagined in his head. your lips were pulled to one side in the tiniest of smiles as you took in his appearance. pietro found it hard to believe the stories he has heard about your reputation as he stared at you. expression soft, eyes and smile kind, you looked battered and worn down but still so youthful as if you didn't fit in with the surrounding grey walls.

"are you okay?" you finally asked.

pietro's nostrils flared and his eyes fluttered shut, "i don't know."

you hesitated a moment before repeating his words from a few days prior, "it's okay to not know."

if you weren't staring intently at the man before you you would've missed the smile that flashed across his face at your remark. it was soon washed away when you both heard loud footsteps from down the hall. you both quickly turned towards the noise that was approaching pietro's cell, he gulped harshly as a guard came into view. he looked back at the wall expecting to still see your face but instead, he saw a metal hand escaping through the hole as if the cement was never removed.

metal...?

it must have been late in the night. the guards had already dropped off the atrocious meal they call dinner and returned to pick the trays up. they rarely patrolled the hallways at night, opting to smoke outside. it was eerie each night. the sound of dripping water from pipes echoed, the occasional gunfire could be heard from the woods outside, slight whispers could be heard from the twins once in a blue moon but it was rare. in a place like this, they didn't let you be a person so it was hard to act like one.

pietro was lying on the bed facing the ceiling making a laughable attempt at trying to get some sort of sleep. he was imagining his life before this when his family was all together, when times were happy, when he was just a little kid and not a young adult performing for crazed scientists. his eyes scanned the room at the sound of bricks moving before seeing your head pop into vision from the hole. pietro let out a small laugh through his nose seeing your sheepish smile.

you sat facing the other not saying anything at first. it was oddly comfortable being face-to-face with the one they call quicksilver. you couldn't put your finger on why though. you've spoken so few words to him but then again it was the first time you let yourself speak to someone in this building that wasn't a doctor or a guard. maybe it was you being naive but it felt okay and safe.

"what made you cry the other day?" he finally spoke his question causing you to blink a few times.

"i think... i think they do something to my head. i mean, i know they do," you thought bringing your fingers to your temple as if the gesture helped you remember, "but i think i'm starting to notice when i'm on missions. it's hard to really know though it's all a blur."

pietro nodded softly taking in what you had to say, "like... brainwashing?"

"it has to be. they recite something each time and then it's like i'm not me," you confessed, "but these past few missions i'll overhear things from strangers passing by or i'll see something and i can feel myself start to wake from the trance. i'm starting to remember life before here and i'm becoming aware of what they have me doing."

"whatever it is they have you doing just know you are still a good person," pietro spoke quietly.

"i kill people," you said bluntly looking him straight in the eyes. he averted his gaze slightly, his hand coming to caress his jaw.

"the person they turn you into out there isn't you. the real you is sitting in front of me now."

"how can you be so sure, you don't even know me," you questioned.

"i don't think an out right evil person would check to see if a stranger is okay... or compliment them the first time they see them," pietro joked slightly. you hung your head as your lips pulled back into a smile. pietro couldn't help the way his body leaned closer to the hole with a big smile on his face observing the way you became shy.

"no one in this building is perfect. we've all done things that are considered evil but if we manage to hold on to some sort of sense of ourselves i think we will be okay. i hope wanda and i get out of here soon. it was a mistake yanno, being volunteers, i regret it. it makes me feel worse knowing you had no say in the matter. you're here every day as a puppet against your will and yet i walked through these doors. every day i'm in pain and every day i regret it," pietro's accent got thicker as he got emotional.

you frowned at the silver-haired man, "life in here is already hard enough, there is no point in being hard on yourself."

his eyes were glossed over, internally fighting himself for the choices he had made in the past. you reached your hand into the hole searching for his. this was out of character for you but it some selfish way you wanted the warmth of his hand to comfort you as well. it was peaceful sitting in silence holding each other's hand. the only form of physical touch the two of you ever received was in the form of torture. gruff hands slapping, punching, shoving, and poking you seemed like a far and distant sensation compared to the safety you felt as pietro's thumb traced the back of your hand.

"you should rest," pietro finally broke what felt like an hour's long silence, "they usually take you first."

you sighed deeply but you knew he was right. god knows what hour it was and you needed to try and get some sleep. pietro gently let go of your hand and allowed you to snake it back through the hole.

"thank you pietro. i hope we can talk more soon," you told him earnestly.

"i hope so too," he gave you a lopsided grin before you grabbed the brick.

it was mere days later when you two found yourself in the same position. the guards were out, pietro had finished his talks with wanda, the disgusting dinners were consumed and taken away, and here you were staring into the sky amongst grey walls. pietro noticed your face had small cuts scattered on it from a mission you were sent on a day prior but you had made no mention of it thus far. you were currently enthralled by pietro telling a story from his younger days. pietro was funny and he didn't even need to try, it had been years since you felt the burning sensation in your sides from laughing too much but he made it easy. and pietro loved the sound of your laugh, it was beautiful, irresistible almost. the two of you went back and forth sharing any memories you could remember from life before these walls and it was effortless but you knew just like the other nights it was soon time to hide the hole.

"you're really pretty," you confessed.

pietro's mouth formed an 'o' shape before turning into a giddy smile, "you are beautiful, dragă"

this time it was pietro plugging the brick back into the wall just as he was about to finish a loud booming voice came from your side of the wall. his hands shook slightly at the volume of the guard yelling 'soldier' in russian to you. pietro could no longer see what was happening but he heard you stand up and reply back and leave the cell.

although you and the guard walked in silence you knew he saw you talking to pietro. you continued to clench and unclench your fists trying to calm yourself for what was to come.

"Тебе нравится мальчик?" (do you like the boy?) the guard asked placing a firm grip on your shoulder, pushing you towards the all too familiar room. you stayed quiet and you heard the man snicker to himself, satisfied with your silence.

in the room, several other guards were standing in position, many holding guns. you saw the needles and wires spread across the small rolling table with a doctor in a white coat hunched over it. the monitors sitting idly waiting to read your vitals. the guard that escorted you pushed you into the contraption that stood before you forcing your body flush against the back. immediately automatic shackles secured your arms to the chair and the whirling sound of small electric plates situated themselves against the sides of your head.

"смешно... ты, кажется, молчишь только рядом с нами," (funny... you only seem to be quiet around us.) the doctor smirked, admitting they all were aware of you and pietro speaking. the doctor sucked his teeth as you glared at him, unwilling to confess to anything.

he picked up the mouth guard from the table wiggling it in front of your mouth waiting for you to open. you bit down in anger, all the muscles in your face twitching, your eyelids blinking rapidly pushing back any emotion daring to creep up at what you knew was about to happen. it wasn't often they wiped your memory, only when they deemed your actions defied them, like not getting enough information on missions which was rare. it had been months since the last time they did this. you screamed in agony as the electric volts zapped against your head. sweat started to bead across your thrashing body. it was indescribable and it wasn't a short process but once the currents stopped your world was black and each time you'd wake up in your cell with no recollection.

it was a week later you found yourself in the training room after being isolated since the memory wipe. your shoulders were hunched forward, chest facing the ground, your arms swayed ever so slightly by your side, your breathing was ragged after being beaten in the form of "training" for the last two hours. the doctors insisted it would be over soon, one final test for the day before you could go to your cell. the door creaked open and the familiar sound of boots entered, you didn't even bother looking up.

"солдат!" (soldier!) a guard yelled causing you to slowly pick your head up. at the door was a young man you'd never seen before, he wore tattered pants and a tank top, his hair was silver, and his blue eyes were opened wide in what you could only assume was shock. and though you didn't recognize him, pietro recognized you.

up until now, he had never seen your full figure before, only parts of your body that were visible through the hole. despite you clearly being injured and tired you stood tall and pietro could tell you were strong. the most alarming part about you was your arm... your metal arm. pietro's eyebrows scrunched together, head slightly cocked to the side examining the way the metal met your skin, some scar tissue bright red while others were faded.

before pietro could mutter any words aloud a doctor appeared from a side door and sauntered towards you holding a notebook.

"работа...установить..." (work...establish...) the doctor read.

"please, no," you whispered, your neck screwing to the side as if it will block the doctor's voice.

"станция..." (station...)

pietro watched as your chest heaved air in and out as the doctor continued reciting from the book, circling your body like a predator ready to attack. he watched as your teeth chatter together and your metal hand flexed. the doctor stopped behind your right shoulder leaning down slightly so his mouth was level with your ear. pietro couldn't hear the whispers but he felt nervous at the doctor's intense eye contact and the loud clap of the notebook being shut. the doctor lazily dragged his hand off your shoulder whispering one final command before exiting the way he came.

pietro jumped at the sound of the door behind him slamming shut as the guards snuck out, leaving only the two of you in the room.

"wha- WOAH!" pietro shrieked as you came barreling towards him at full speed, your metal arm raised high in the air to come down on his body.

"please i don't want to hurt you," but his pleas were left unheard as you socked him in the jaw, tossing him to the ground and repeatedly punching his stomach. although being fast, pietro found himself trapped beneath you and it took moments before he was able to get out and start running in different directions. slowly, you walked towards a vacant chair in the corner, eyes trained on the blue light racing around the room. you gripped the chair waiting for the right moment before launching it across the room and nailing pietro square in the back. you stalked towards his groaning figure grasping his shoulder and flipping him onto his back where you straddled him and punched at his face.

to pietro's relief, the doctor came back into the room beckoning an order to you. pietro watched from underneath your frame as your pupils twitched at him and your head robotically moved to face the doctor. you refrained from punching pietro anymore and stood up and walked to the doctor and the two guards who waited behind. one of the guards stabbed a needle into your neck and once more the world was black.

you couldn't even begin to guess what time or day it was when you finally woke up on the floor of your cell. your body was violently shaking from the cold and you started to panic. as much as you tried to think of any memories you couldn't, it was like your mind was a blank slate and it was causing you to panic even more which then turned into anger. you grabbed the small bed and threw it at the wall and screamed loudly. you repeatedly slammed your metal first into the wall causing dust to liter the air. guards walked past your cell but simply laughed and continued to make their way down the hall and off into the outside world.

"hey," a voice spoke unsteadily. you whipped your head around to the other wall and saw a face peeking through.

"it's okay," the man tried to ease seeing your angered state approaching him. you kneeled in front of the hole looking intensely at his face.

"who are you?"

this question confirmed pietro's fear that they wiped your memory. he had foolishly hoped that in the training room you were just too worn down to recognize him when he walked through the door before they sent you into your trance.

"my name is pietro. you may not remember but i am a friend," he spoke hoping to see any form of recollection cross your face. instead you examined him quietly before turning your head and examining the room. it was lit dully, your bed now turned on its side, and there was a tray of food sitting near the cell door that looked to be days old.

"this is a hydra base," pietro continued without you having to ask, "the people here are not good. they hurt us, they experiment on us, many people have died here. i have a sister here, a twin," he said pointing a finger behind him, "her name is wanda. they call us the enhanced. we both possess abilities no normal human would have due to their experimentations. we came as volunteers and i regret it."

"am i a volunteer?" you questioned.

"no, dragă. a few weeks ago you told me they found you during the winter, alone. you had been lost in the forest and they made promises to help you find home but you never returned. you said you aren't sure but you think it's been ten years since," pietro confessed, his accent thick with sorrow.

you hummed, unsure of what to say. you remembered none of this so what could you really say back? was pietro even telling the truth? how could you decipher fact from fiction in a state like this? despite the confusion and the absence of memory, something deep within you said it was all true, everything he was saying was right.

"why is my arm gone?" you whispered, slightly touching the contorting metal panels near the elbow.

pietro couldn't help but feel a pain in his chest as he observed you try and remember any semblance of yourself, "i- i don't know. what i do know is the doctors, they like you. you are very important to them and they make you do dirty work. the reason you can't remember anything is because they wipe your memory."

"i suppose that makes sense," you nodded slightly giving pietro a bitter smile.

"i am sorry for what they do to you," pietro stated earnestly. if he could help you in any way he would, over and over again, he would.

you paused, taking in pietro's face which held some serious injuries. the skin on his brow bone was split, his eye was bright red with blood and a nasty purple-green bruise on his jaw.

"did i do this to you?" you asked, slowly reaching your hand through to gently touch his jaw.

"of course you didn't my love," he murmured, tenderly grabbing your wrist and threading his fingers with yours.

"if there comes a time when i hurt you, please don't go easy on me," you pleaded.

"i cannot promise you that," he smiled at you softly, bringing his other hand to enclose your freezing one.

and pietro was being truthful. he couldn't nor he wouldn't harm you in the event the doctors forced you to fight. he would run and dodge the punches, and the chairs being thrown at him, but he couldn't fight you, he just couldn't. it pained him to see the different version of yourself, the real you locked inside begging to come out of the brainwashing.

pietro didn't think it would be so soon when he would be in the same position as before, standing across from you in the training room as the same doctor circled your body, reciting words in russian that would transform you into their super soldier. it was only hours after the two of you decided to sleep that pietro was ripped from his bed and dragged into the training room.

the doctor once again closed the notebook but before leaving he looked over at pietro, "it is a shame," he started with a thick russian accent, "her memory wiped twice in a week. i thought maybe you two would work well as a team. we could start sending you out on missions with her. but it seems she has developed a hm. what do you call it?" he fake pondered, "ah! a crush! and that is not something we take kindly here. she provides more to us here than you do so..." with that the doctor whispered one final thing in your ear before leaving.

pietro watched carefully as you headed towards him and at the last moment he sprinted away causing you to concave the metal door. you whipped your head around, eyes wide in anger, tracking the movements of the man. he was fast and this irritated you. sticking your leg out you managed to trip him at the last moment and his large frame hurled to the floor. you gripped his shirt in one hand and used your metal hand to punch him in the side of the face.

"it's me!" the man below you yelled. this had no effect on you and you raised your hand to hit him again but he grabbed your fist. the two of you violently struggled against each other before you used your hand clutched to his shirt to slide him away with great force.

"please i said i would never hurt you. it's me, pietro!" the man pleaded getting up to run past your approaching figure. for some reason hearing the name pietro caused a loud screeching pain in your head.

"what are you doing to my head?" you screamed, clutching your head in your hands, eyes screwed shut.

pietro stopped running and looked at your trembling figure, "i'm- i'm not doing anything."

you tried ignoring the high-pitched shrilling noise and stumbled to pietro. you grabbed onto his shoulders and pushed him backward against the wall. although you moved him with force pietro could feel the weakness in your grip this time. he stayed silent looking into your eyes that were frantically examining him.

"the noise..." you muttered bringing your metal hand to hold your head.

"there... there is no noise," pietro spoke confused. there was no noise in the room besides heavy breathing.

"who are you?" you probed shoving him roughly against the wall.

"it's me. pietro. i live next to you in the cell. i came here as a volunteer with my twin sister wanda. you are here against your will. they found you when you were little and never let you leave. they hurt you every day, they aren't good people. trust me, please. it's me your friend," pietro rushed hoping to break through to you.

he felt your grip slightly falter as you looked him up and down. he couldn't make out the emotion in your face as you screwed and unscrewed your features together, internally fighting yourself. he wasn't scared, but nervous rather for your next move or action.

as pietro spoke the high-pitched noise continued to grow louder causing severe pain in your head. it made you nauseous and your vision would cloud with blinding bright light. you hung your head gasping for air as a vague image of a cell came to memory. you tried blinking it away but it would reappear, this time you'd see a man. the man you were pushing against the wall. his head was peeking through the cell wall. instinctually you pressed him further into the wall, pietro's shoulder blades started to ache. a new memory came and it was pietro holding your hand, his thumb caressing yours.

you shot your head up looking at the man. your eyes were glossy with tears from the pain you were experiencing. not just the physical pain of the intense noise but the mental pain as you tried to piece together who he was. his appearance was becoming familiar. his clothes, his broad shoulders, the facial hair on his jaw and upper lip, the cut on his eyebrow, the dark roots of his hair and the silver ends, and his eyes.

you dropped your grip and pietro's eyes contorted in confusion.

"like the sky..." you murmured.

[daycourtofficial]

We’re Bumping Booties, Having Us a Ball

Summary: Nesta and Azriel are suspicious of you and Cassian spending so much time together.

It was unusual for Nesta to speak individually to Azriel. This might be the first time she’s ever sought him out to have a discussion, and frankly, it slightly terrified him.

She approached him, and after looking around for wandering ears, deeming it safe to speak, she asked “have you noticed something different between our mates?”

Azriel blinked. He had no idea what he expected Nesta to talk to him about, but it certainly wasn’t about you and Cassian.

“What are you talking about?” He asks, genuinely curious.

“They’ve been spending a lot of time together lately,” she huffs, clearly annoyed he doesn’t see what she does.

“We all spend an absurd amount of time together, Nesta,” he replies.

She rolls her eyes, “why she wants to be with you is beyond me, you insufferable bat. Okay, fine, maybe I’m making it up. Next time we’re all together at Rita’s, just pay attention to them.”

And so he did. He noticed you and Cassian conspiring over something, he just wasn’t sure what. You didn’t spend the whole time with Cassian, just whenever Azriel went to get you more drinks, you’d immediately start speaking to Cass and your conversation would conveniently end when Azriel returned.

He didn’t think anything nefarious was going on. You two had been mates for ages, before Cassian ever even met Nesta. You and Cassian had a friendship best described as siblings - honestly seeing his brother love you so much warmed his heart.

So he wasn’t worried you were doing anything scandalous with Cassian, but he knew when you were conspiring, and oh were you conspiring.

The next time Azriel gets up for drinks, he stops by Nesta and tells her, “they’re up to something. Let’s find out what.”

-

It didn’t take long for them to catch a hint that you and Cassian had plans. Two nights later, Cassian told Nesta that he had to drop his leathers off to get patched, and you told Azriel you were going to a cobbler to have your shoes fixed.

Nesta and Azriel met in the hallway after their respective mates had left. “She told me she had a cobbler to visit - at 9 PM.” Azriel knew you were much better at crafting lies than that - he likes to think you have a hard time lying to him. And you do.

“He muttered something about getting his leathers repatched.” Nesta scowled.

Azriel just stared at her, honestly shocked at this mission they’re embarking on.

A few minutes of silence pass. Nesta feels compelled to break it, unsure of what they’re waiting for, before a few shadows come back and dance slowly around Azriel’s ears.

“They’re on the roof.”

-

“Okay, put your hand here. Do it like this. No, you have to put your hips into it. OW! That was my foot!”

Azriel and Nesta crept up to the door to the rooftop - a flat area designed to entertain guests and occasionally watch Starfall. Hardly anyone used the rooftop during the year, especially not during the winter when it’s freezing up there.

Nesta and Azriel can hear you way before they see the two of you, sharing a quizical look when they hear you muttering explitives about your foot.

“Can you see anything?” Nesta whispers.

“No, we can peak around the corner though,” Azriel replies, starting to crouch to peer around the corner.

He and Nesta peer around the corner at the same time, the sight being even more surprising than if their mates were cheating on them.

“Are they..?” Nesta asks.

“Dancing.” Azriel says.

“She’s dancing, he’s doing… something. But it’s not dancing.”

They continue to watch the two of you for a while, amazed at your patience with teaching Cassian how to dance. You’re being exceptionally kind and patient with him, taking time to help him practice, despite the pleas from your toes to have him stop.

“She’s teaching him to dance, he’s never been good at formal dancing,” Azriel whispers to Nesta, an idea of why you’d be doing this forming in his mind.

“Cassian wants to know how to dance?” Nesta asks, confusion evident across her face. Azriel turns to look at her, amusement across his face, “Why do you think he’d want to learn to dance when he’s never been interested in doing more than dancing at Rita’s before?”

Realization dawns across her face, “he wants to dance with me.” She says quietly. She continues to stare at her mate, in awe of how incredibly sweet this gesture is, and a little upset that he went to you to teach him how to dance instead of her.

“Okay, I’m calling it. I’ve spun you around enough tonight. I want to go to bed.”

Cassian’s voice breaks Nesta train of thought. She grabs Azriel’s arm, almost making him fall over with how hard she’s trying to get them to move. “We need to go - he’d be devastated if we ruined his surprise.”

Nesta and Azriel hurry down the stairs, back down to the hallway where they met each other thirty minutes earlier.

“So, Nesta,” Azriel says, very amused at his brother’s surprise, “how do you feel about their little secret?”

Nesta sighs and says quietly, “that I have an incredibly thoughtful mate and I almost ruined his surprise due to some jealousy.”

“Good,” Azriel replies, “and that I have an incredibly kind mate who loves the two of you greatly.”

Azriel left Nesta to consider that, and when you returned to your shared room smelling briefly of Cassian, he chuckled to himself and offered to rub your feet while you two take a bath.

Azriel waits until Starfall, when Cassian takes Nesta on the dance floor for a while, looking pretty decent, to tell you, “hmm, someone looks like he’s finally figured out how to dance.”

Your eyes snap to his face, “He must have had a wonderful teacher.” Azriel’s mischievous smile tells you that he knows just who Cassian’s teacher was.

“I wonder if his teacher’s available to show me some moves,” he says, grabbing your waist and pulling you closer.

“I heard she’s booked for months. She’s very hard to get in to see,” you reply, placing your hand on his jaw.

“You think she’d make a special exception for me?” He says, giving you an incredibly pitiful look.

“I think I can get her to pencil you in,” you reply, grabbing his face and kissing him.

[thisismeracing]

Can you please do Mick dating Raikkönen!reader hsc, please?

sure <3 hope u like it, nonny!

Requests are now CLOSED.

MICK DATING A RAIKKÖNEN!READER | MS47

Warnings: mentions of food; tooth-rotting fluff; mentions of family members; not proofread.

▸ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon guide ▸ support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee

Raikkönen!reader just like her father is not in for silly jokes or small talk. She’s direct. If she doesn’t like you she’ll tell it to your face. The opposite is true as well - that’s how she told Mick she liked him after they hung out for a few months;

“I like you.” Short, simple, and direct. So direct that Mick wasn't sure if she meant she liked LIKED him or if she was being friendly, but since the latter was unlikely, he gathered up his courage and asked her on a date;

Though Michael and Mikki raced together, and Mick pretty much grew up inside the racing scene, the same was not reality for Yn. She did like racing, but when she was a kid Mikki and her mother chose to prioritize her privacy and her studies, that's how she wasn't friends with Mick. But once they met, it was a perfect match. Mick was shy at first, so that made him silent, and Yn just wasn't interested in talking. The silence was comfortable, though, and she saw herself walking near the bench he was sitting on and sharing a piece of her granola bar with him. Her dad had seen the friendship unfold, and he nicknamed them 'birds' because they would feed each other silently and then leave only to come up the next weekend with a sandwich, a granola bar, a candy, share in silence, and then leave again;

When Mick finally asked Yn on a date she told her dad and though he used to make fun he ended up feeling jealous - he even suggested that he could go too as if it was a friend meeting, not a date. Yn laughed at the situation, something she didn't do all the time, which made it even more special to those around her;

She sent Mikki a picture after the date. Their faces squished together on the screen of the phone. He could see Mick's arms around her shoulders, but her smile was so bright he couldn't help but feel happy for them;

He has dinner with the Schumachers the next month, minus Mick, of course. And they talk about the likelihood of their relationship becoming serious. They end up choosing to support them, Mikki being pretty sure that Yn wouldn't back down if he told her to, and the same with Mick;

Now, Mikki is a bit unsure of everything at first. He did see Mick grow up. He was friends with his family. But still, it was Yn! His little girl. That doubt went away a few months after they announced the seriousness of their relationship. Older Mick was a fun guy, nothing like the babbling kid nor the grumpy teenager he used to be. So the Schumacher and the older Raikkönen ended up realizing they had a lot in common;

After that, it's always "Where's Mick, Yn? Is Mick coming to the family vacation? Are the Schumis spending Christmas with us? Did you give him the book I handed you?" it's funny even;

Mick calls Yn by Raikki a short for her surname. Sometimes he calls her Rai or even Kiki, she hates the latter, though;

I feel like they would be super private. So much that it took almost a year or so for people to pierce the pieces together;

But being private didn't mean they weren't in love. That they were and the garage they attended quickly picked up from the way Mick would smile at her or how she would laugh around him;

Just black cat and golden retriever vibes, but Mick showed Yn her golden side too (the opposite too because Mick started to stand up for himself a tad more);

You know those couples where at least one has to be the person to tell the waiter they got the order wrong? Now imagine Yn is the one who does it while Mick is there like "I wouldn't mind eating raw meet :(" and Yn is like "I want another dish and I want dessert on the house," super serious while Mick is giving an apologetic look to the employee;

Yeah. hihi

[svt-demi]

RELATIONSHIPS ── PERFORMANCE UNIT⠀ ୨ৎ

་ ﹟ ، DEMI’S relationships with the PERFORMANCE UNIT

masterlist . VOCAL UNIT . HIPHOP UNIT

𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐈 ; JUNHUI ˖˙ ៹ junmi

it took them a long time to get close predebut because of the language barrier

demi’s always the first to cheer jun on or promote his solo works!! she’s always talking about how proud she is of jun. he says she sounds like his mom even if she’s younger than him

jun randomly gifts demi cute trinkets just because “it reminded me of you”

trying to teach eachother their first languages but failing each time

he’s also one of the members obsessed with demi’s cat

they carry snacks around for eachother!! it doesn’t matter where they’re going or what they’re doing, the snacks are always being shared around

jun is always encouraging demi to try out the things she wants to

she leaves her phone lying around for a few minutes, and once she opens here gallery, there’ll be dozens of photos of jun

𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐈 ; SOONYOUNG ˖˙ ៹ soonmi

they used to argue constantly during practices because hoshi was stressed, and demi was just trying to keep up

when she went from the vocal unit to the performance unit, he was strict with her at first, always nitpicking her movements. but sooner or later, he warmed up to her

during practice and rehearsals she always tries to get the steps correct because shes scared he’ll get mad (he scolds her for stressing too much)

hoshi dramatically fake cries and clutches his chest when demi compliments any of his choreo

they both freak tf out after they speak to taemin

they have way too much energy together — if they’re hyper at the same time, its over for everyone else

demi’s always targeting him during mafia

although he’s harsh when he tells demi to improve certain things in practice, she knows that he only pushes her because he believes in her potential more than anyone else

always begging her to teach him how to tumble

𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐈 ; MINGHAO ˖˙ ៹ haomi

theyre so inlove with eachother ugh

minghao is demi’s anchor

he’s always making sure demi is comfortable and safe. doesn’t matter where they are or how close she is to him, he’ll always be looking out for her

demi shows her love to minghao through her actions rather than words. she’s grateful that he understands her better than anyone else — he knows that even the smallest kisses, or demi simply fixing his hair or clothes is her way of saying ‘i love you’

at first, they were planning on keeping their relationship private so it would reduce the stress, but they eventually ended up not caring and just waited for everyone to figure it out

carats are always collecting clips of minghao sneaking glances at demi

demi’s family love minghao so much, even if they’ve only had the chance to see him a few times

he’ll hold her hand when he notices her getting nervous

demi isnt the biggest fan of tea, but if minghao asks her to try something new he came up with she’ll gladly take it

they’ll sneak small kisses to eachother thinking no ones watching (the members always catch them and think its so cute)

hao’s always making sure demi’s not pushing herself too far and if he notices she is, to the point where she’s beginning to get exhausted, he won’t let her do any more work until shes had some rest.

they have matching necklaces

since demi takes interest in fashion, minghao’s always letting her pick out his outfits

minghao’s normally quite straightforward towards other people, but when it comes to demi, his tone softens and he speaks to her with such care. its so obvious he’s head over heels for her

𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐈 ; CHAN ˖˙ ៹ chanmi

they came up with some sort of routine of giving eachother ridiculously dramatic high fives before and after performances

dino finds comfort in demi — when he’s stressed or unsure about something, he’ll go to her and say whats on his mind.

dino came up with the name tequila for demi’s cat and she actually stuck with it

nonstop teasing eachother

demi : “stop trying to act cute, dino-ya”

dino : “you’re just jealous im naturally cute”

sometimes gets to the point where scoups has to scold them both

if demi’s laughing during an interview… just look at whoevers closest to her and chances are it’ll be dino

dance break duo!!!

if one of them goes live, theres a 50% chance the other will be there

my requests will always be open, so please feel free to send some in! i apologize in advance if you end up waiting for a response for a little while

[arrrion]

Lost in your embrace

Stanley Snyder x GN reader

Synopsis: In which you slowly realise you are in love with this man after you spilled all your back story to him and he confort you.

Disclaimers: Mention of someone's death, swearing, cursing oneself. Little angst with comfort.

Got big inspiration for this one.

And yes I changed the name a bit.

I hope it's not too cringy :|

The scene takes place after Stanley is woken up to be sent on the moon.

Enjoy!

You had been sitting on the ground long enough to be face to face to the moon. You could say you waited her. Since that day, she become your confidante. You would look into each other's eyes and share everything. When your mood was that bad, you could watch her form for hours.

But even if she could listen to your silence, you needed to speak out your pain. Let it out for it to never come back again. It had been years, even worse with how much time you passed as a stone, and you couldn't open your mouth on it. Words were stuck in the depths of your heart. It haunted you like a ghost and never left your side.

And as you would sit next to it, the shape of your torment suddenly transform into your captain. You froze. You didn't hear him approach, nor sit.

He turned his head to your side.

"What keeps you awake, soldier?" He asks. His voice was low, as if he thought you would be frightened if he talked louder. He waited your answer. His eyes showed a strange gentleness that made you at ease.

"I... I'm, reminiscing." You let out, unsure of your words.

"And do you want an ear to talk to? I'm pretty sure that moon of yours isn't really talkative." Something in the way he spoke and looked at you made your heart flutter faster. Why was he more stunning now that your friend the moon was illuminating him so perfectly? Your mouth oppened and closed several time before you turned your head to your feat. You retracted your legs, taking your knees in your arms.

"It's..." The words were yet again stuck in your throat. Why could you not let them out? You were getting frustrated at yourself but the hand of Stanley, slowly positioning herself on your shoulder, gave you a go. After all if it was him, you were sure it would stay between the both of you. You exhaled and inspired. "You know how, it happens, that twins can be born differently ? Like one can be healthier than another ?" Stanley nodded. "My brother and I were twins. My parents always knew that he was the weak one but it was funny how he always was the reckless one too. I was the calm and composed kid and he was the curious and easily scared kid." You stopped, taking your time. The hand on your shoulder reminding you that he was listening until the end. "Being the weakest never seemed to disturb him. My parents made sure we knew. They wanted us not to be mad about it. And obviously when I saw he didn't care, I started to do the same. And we grow with the fact. And one day we actually fought about it." You went silent. Stanley waited but as he saw you hesitate, he spoke again.

"What happened?" He simply said.

"You can say it was a teenage crisis ? He was upset he couldn't be part of some sports team like I did and we fought. Eventually he did say he hated me for making him weak. It broke me, it really did. Since that quarrel, we never really healed. He did apologize but I couldn't entirely forgive him. As we grow older we parted ways." Talking about this actually made you feel lighter. It made you actually want to tell him everything. So you continue. "I learned from my mom that he started to serve as a soldier. Surprise was a small word in front of my reaction. I was worried, I think. And I could. I was studying while he played the soldier. I knew he would back up from this and I actually hated that I was right. He was so far in it that he couldn't just leave. So he called me. We hadn't talked in so long but he still called me. He was really distraught while whining on how hard it was. I wanted to laugh at him and let him alone with it but a part of me felt sorry for him. Actually, I could've done anything for him. Because every time since our fight, I knew he was right."

"I mean you couldn't be more wrong on this but anyways. Is that why you became a soldier? Like really?" You laughed at his first sentence. Of course he wouldn't let it slide. You weren't at fault. If Xeno heard you say that he would've lectured you for hours.

"Yeah. He called me with a beautiful plan. I took his place and acted like I could to make it in front of the other soldier. But the problem was I was called under his name. We can look like each other but our names are completely different. So at some point I got caught. But instead of getting me out, my captain, at that time, laughed at me. I was lucky I was good at being a soldier even though I was just a scholar months before. He helped me change everything for the real information and actually I don't know if I am really glad he did..."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Do I have to be honest?" His hand returned to him as he crossed his arms, not pleased.

"Okay, how dare you? Do you want to run all morning tomorrow?"

"See? That's my point." He laughed and you joined him. You slowly stopped and smiled bitterly. Stanley noted your change of emotion. He dragged himself closer to you. You could feel his warmth. "I hated his ways of keeping everything from me. Taking his place in the army wasn't all I did. If he needed money, I would give him the double he needed. Hell I even dressed like him and went on his date because he didn't want to go anymore. But he never told me about his inner thoughts. He would randomly ask for help and then days or months passed. I thought it was because of my schedule at first. But he would tell everything to our mom so I got a little mad. We talked about it and he made an effort." You stopped again. We came to the worst part. Like the blond could sense it, he brings you closer to him with one arm. You took a moment to enjoy the closeness. "And then, I got a call from mom. He had contracted a shitty disease and this fucker didn't tell me." Your eyes started to get wet. "He told me that he was sorry and that he was ashamed of himself for letting me feel bad for him. He called himself a coward for doing nothing about it. Yeah his a coward... We lost him..." Tears ran on your cheeks. Stanley took you fully in his arms. It was painful thinking about it but you had another reason for your pain. Your forehead against Stanley's shoulder, you waited to calm down before talking. "You know what, the worst is, he died a couple of days before the petrification. If he had survived just a little more, he could've still been here with us." Your cries intensified. "I-I keep thinking... thinking about this and it, it hurts!" Your captain holds you tighter. One of his hands made circles on your back to soothe you.

You both stayed like this even after your tears had stopped. You both held each other like you could die if any part of your bodies weren't close to the other. You felt so good close to him. It was your first time talking about this to someone. You smiled after thinking that, it felt normal to talk to him about it. The moment felt right to confess. After freeing you of this painful memory, you just felt like you could accept any response he could give.

"Thank you, Stan. I love you." He didn't respond but you didn't care. You closed your eyes and muffled your head in his neck.

"Yeah I know, love. Me too."

I wanted to make it heartwarming at the end? I don't know if the confession feels misplaced to someone but I like it this way. It makes sense to me.

I made it after the whole chase thing because I believe nobody in the American colony knows that the petrification heals. I think Senku really understands it after the events with Hyoga, Tsukasa and Kohaku.

Anyways,

See you soon !

[jambalaya-enthusiast]

Um um um

fanfic idea stay with me

famous!reader singing at a concert and she is dancing and whatever and once she goes backstage to see her bf jimmy hes pissed and yells at her for being too slutty on stage

Also i love you sm. You’re hella talented

"BEGGING ON HER KNEES TO BE POPULAR".

Jimmy x Popular! Fem! Reader.

Being a famous singer isn't for the weak. Sure,it has its fair share of pros and benefits. Fame,Luxury,Wealth,Respect, Attraction. all of it naturally comes to you once you've hit it big.

The problem lies not on stage,but rather behind it. People think that being in the entertainment industry is full of glits and glamour,and maybe it is. Just not when he's pissed.

You met jimmy quite a while ago at a club, while attending one of your advertisement events. You're not exactly sure what attracted you towards him,maybe it was the way he smiled?...or maybe it was how he stared so intently at you... whatever it may have been. You both hit it off and began dating.

And it sure has been a ride.

It was one of your tour days,scheduled in Santa Barbara, California. You were having the time of your fucking life, singing,dancing,being one with your audience which you worked so hard for. The high which tens of thousands of people singing your lyrics gives you is certainly unexpected and wild.

You finished the days event and were getting ready to wrap up,to say that you were exhausted would've been a dire understatement.

aa you went backstage,you found yourself in a predicament which you were dreading to face.

There he was,your oh so loving boyfriend, standing with his back pressed against one of the firm walls,if stares could kill,you would've been dead.

"you sure had a lot of fun dancing today,huh?".

you gulped,then sighed but remained silent,your eyes not moving away from his,you simply didn't understand what you did this time.

"answer me when I'm asking you something, slut".

your eyes widened,he was always aggressive sure,but he never used such foul words to address you before,you were genuinely confused as to what pissed your boyfriend off so much for him to be behaving this way.

'jimmy? what are you talking about? what did I even do?".

"what did you do huh?".

then in a flash of a moment,you found yourself roughly slammed against one of the backstage walls,your hair in your boyfriend's rough hands,he grabbed your hair so tightly that your eyes started tearing up.

"who were you trying to seduce acting like a fucking WHORE up there huh?! AM I NOT ENOUGH for you?! How many fucking men do you want using your cunt, BITCH!?".

you were appalled and speechless at your boyfriend's sudden accusation,you didn't even understand which step of your dance pissed him off so much.

"jimmy- what-? H-have you gone mad? This is my fucking job!"?

without wasting a single second,you felt your face rip to the side,your cheeks felt warm and painful,jimmy just slapped you so hard that you could practically feel the heat radiating off of your cheek.

"don't you dare ever talk to me in that tone you fucking harlot,I'll make sure to teach you a lesson once we reach our hotel room,then maybe you'll understand that good women don't go acting like whores for other men".

and with that he dragged you away into his car,and you were left unsure and dreadful of what is going to follow next in that god forbidden hotel room.

[unoislazy]

‘Til The Caged Bird Sings

(Part 1)

Mizu x Mixed! Fem! Reader

Disclaimer; This is less of a chapter and more of a prologue for what’s to come.

I see your requests and I have begun to work on a few of them, but I have a few ideas that I had started previously that I would like to get to first. Thank you for your patience.

————————————————————

Marriage was not something you expected to be a part of your life. You truly believed you would never find someone who completed you enough to be set on sealing the deal. All the men you had met were arrogant and egotistical, so hellbent on fueling their ego that they refused to treat you like a human being. They believed that if they had been seen being paired with an ‘unreal’ like you, they would lose any fortune or honor they might have had, no matter how small. If that was how you would be treated, maybe that wasn't the life for you. Your life was by no means glamorous, if you had married it wouldn’t have been for monetary gain by anysense, for your parents maybe, but you got the short end of the stick no matter what. It more than likely would simply have been just to extend someone else's family lineage, then again who would want to have impure blood mixed with their own. Other than the desperate men who were practically chomping at the bit to get you, likely just to sell you off to someone else.

Not wanting anything like that for yourself, you had given up your life at home in favor of living a peaceful life on your own, far away from anyone who could treat you otherwise. You stayed out of people's way and just went about business as usual.

That was until you had met Mizu.

Your paths had crossed in the most unusual way, almost as if it was fate. You had met her on a day that you had to visit the market, which was peculiar on its own considering you very rarely went into town. You hadn’t seen her get into a fight, but you did witness the very bloody outcome first hand. You knelt down before her bloody body which had been just haphazardly strewn about against a wall. She struggled to keep her eyes open as they shifted to you, you were unsure if she could even see you properly but you could just barely make out the blue hue as her eyelids began to shut.

She was a mess and no one else around her seemed to care. You didn’t have much medicinal knowledge but you thought it right to help with what you could. So, you slung her over the back of your horse along with the supplies you had bought and made your way back to your home.

And that is where she stayed.

She was extremely skeptical at first, extremely jumpy and quite hesitant to even allow you to get near her. It took some convincing but eventually she had learned to trust you, even just the slightest bit. You meant no harm to her and she eventually came to realize that. She didn’t understand why, you owed her nothing, you didn't even know who she was but you still helped. You paid no mind to her skepticism or her ‘flaws’ and continued to treat her just as you saw fit.

Because you knew what it was like to be considered a demon.

You too had mixed blood and because of that you had always been cast away, looked down upon, and pushed to the side without another thought. You had been poked and prodded at like you were some otherworldly being that amounted to nothing more than the mud underneath people's shoes.

Once you both came to the realization that you had this fact in common, your relationship slowly began to build from there.

Because of Mizu’s injured state you both spent a lot of time around each other and while Mizu wasn’t incredibly talkative at first she had begun to open up to you. You two began to share stories with each other, spend late nights together, sometimes just sitting in silence enjoying each other's company. You had never met someone who had so much in common with you and neither had she, you both completed each other in a way that you almost didn’t think to be true. It took a while for you to gain her trust, but once you had you two were inseparable. Every chore you had around the house, Mizu insisted on helping, any place you needed to go, Mizu insisted on coming with. She never left your side and you never truly left hers either.

For once in her life, Mizu had finally begun to feel comfortable around someone, which was something she wasn’t able to say for a long time. She had gotten comfortable enough that she no longer felt the need to wear her glasses or pull her hair so far back, or even wear the baggy clothes she had initially gotten used to wearing. When she was around you, she felt as if she could truly be herself, she could wear whatever she wanted, she could finally let go as if no one was waiting to ridicule her and strike her down.

She felt safe.

She didn’t think she’d ever get to say that about anyone but there she was, standing before you, a few years later. You both were dressed in your best attire as you conducted a very makeshift ceremony. You both knew it wouldn’t be legal for you to get married officially, it was one thing that you both were mixed and it was an entirely new issue that you were both women. So you decided to do it yourself, sure it wouldn’t be legally recognized, but who cares? All that matters is that you both agreed that you loved each other enough to want to vow to protect each other at any cost. If anything, you appreciated it more than what was normally done and said at weddings.

You couldn’t be happier. You lived a quiet life, now with a wonderful wife by your side who was willing to do practically anything for you, and you would do the same for her. One day you had decided to surprise her by going out to buy a horse for her, you figured it would be better than you both just trading your poor old horse. You laughed as you watched Mizu attempt to groom the horse she had picked; with Mizu being Mizu, she chose the most stubborn one anyone could have possibly gone for. You watched on as she cautiously reapproached the rambunctious stallion, surprised she had gotten so far to begin with.

You leaned your head on your hands as you rested your weight on the wooden fence of the field, your eyes not once leaving Mizu as you focused on what you could see of her facial features.

She was probably one of the most beautiful women you had ever seen. How any one could’ve even considered to claim that she was a demon or a monster, you would never know. She might have started off quite rude and abrasive but you couldn’t blame her for that, you would’ve too if one minute you were on the street and the next in some random person's house. But once her personality began to shine through and she began to slowly reveal parts of herself piece by piece, you slowly began to fall for her. You would’ve been a fool not to.

You snapped out of your thoughts, refocusing on Mizu, watching as her eyes squinted ever so slightly as she began to smile, her efforts paid off so she approached the stallion without any added effort. You cheered for her, walking onto the field with her as she continued to ever so gently pet the stallion.

“I told you I could.” She gloated in a joking manner, turning to you with a very proud smile on her face.

“And I never said you couldn’t.” You responded, matching her tone with a smile. She had taken her hand off of the horse and turned to face you as you linked your arm with hers, pulling yourself much closer to her.

“You thought about it.” She teased while sending you a challenging, yet very playful, glare.

“I did not.” You laughed at the childish nature of the conversation. You never would have guessed that stoic woman you had met years before would even think to have a conversation such as this.

You gave the woman a very soft peck on the cheek before telling her,

“I’m going to go back into the house to finish up some things, are you coming with me?” You asked. She thought about it for a second before turning back to her newly befriended horse,

“No, I think I’ll spend a little more time out here with him.” She replied, to which you smiled and nodded.

You made your way back inside, humming a tune that you had heard playing when you had visited the market last. It was light and airy, one that reminded you of something a songbird might sing. The notes were so fluttery it made you feel at peace, as if nothing could harm you.

You walked inside your home, shutting the door behind you as you continued to hum the tune. You grabbed your unfinished embroidery project and some thread and walked towards the spot where you usually sat when you were to complete a very long task. You had been so engrossed in your task you had yet to notice the three other people that also occupied the room.

By the time you had noticed their presence however, it had been too late.

“Hey, I think we need to go out and buy more fruits we don’t-” Mizu paused, Her eyes widening as she looked on at the scene before her. The house you shared, now in complete mess, the table toppled over, bits and pieces of different decorations you both had now torn to shreds and thrown about on the floor. The embroidery that you had been working on had been left, thrown carelessly to the side and still unfinished.

The worst thing Mizu had come across was a few droplets of blood that had been left on the floor.

What if it was your blood? What if they had harmed you?

Luckily though, because of the amount of blood that had been left, it was clear that the wound had not been too deep.

But if it had been your blood, whoever had raised a hand to harm you was going to wish they had never made such a careless mistake

[lixie-phoria]

↳ ♡₊˚. tag, you're it ꒱

— skz helping 9th member reader w/ her paranoid personality disorder

requested - yes // 9th fem!member who has paranoid personality disorder (PPD) and she always thinks that she isn’t alone in the dorms when she’s by herself? The boys don’t know anything about is as she hides it from them but one day the boys get a camera for the living room as weird things have been happening when they aren’t there... skz x 9th member fem!reader / warnings - angst w happy ending, mentions of anxiety, paranoia, stalkers, and paranoid personality disorder / 3.2k words / a/n - this is the longest fic i've ever written 😭

"boo!"

"fuck!"

you gasped in shock, stumbling back as hyunjin popped out from behind the couch, a playful smile tugging at his lips.

"did i scare you?" he giggles, standing up properly and making his way towards you, failing to notice how you eyes were still quivering with fright and your tight grip on your phone.

"why would you do that, hyunjin?"

you sound off, your voice an octave higher and trembling with an emotion that confuses him. was he sensing anger?

"it's just a joke ynnie. calm down."

it wasn't just a joke to you, though. it was much more than that. but you couldn't to explain it to him, so you leave him in the living room with an eye roll, staring at your retreating figure in confusion.

hyunjin doesn't bring it up after that. maybe he just happened to catch you on one of your bad days.

but he begins noticing things ever since - things that weren't necessarily normal. things that you have always done, but this time when he really thinks about it, they're a bit strange.

how you're always extra jumpy, flinching at every loud sound, refusing to leave the house without an unnecessary amount of security, being extra cautious when you went to public events, and straight up refusing to socialize with anyone more than necessary.

your members always labelled it on you being an introvert. but to the extent that you barely even spoke about yourself to your own members? as though scared to trust them with information? that wasn't normal, was it?

hyunjin thinks hard. he's a bit worried about you, but he doesn't know what to do.

tell chan? no. chan didn't need more problems on his plate.

confront you? no. you hated confrontation. it would worsen things.

talk to another member about it? maybe. but you might get mad at him. you always hated people meddling with your personal life.

so he stays silent for a while, observing from a distance.

and he begins picking up on signs soon enough.

you were paranoid. extremely paranoid. he caught you looking over your shoulder every few minutes, expertly dodging personal questions, being hypersensitive to criticism, having spells of moodiness that followed no particular pattern, suddenly giving your own members the cold shoulder, over analysing every little interaction you had with people. it was worrisome.

yes maybe hyunjin was looking into it too much and it wasn't that big of a deal. but he couldn't brush off a certain thought nagging him at the back of his mind. something was definitely up, and it was about time he spoke to the others about it.

"I think yn has a stalker." hyunjin mutters, shifting uncomfortably in his seat under the blank gazes of the other 7.

"what?" chan sounds confused, eyebrows furrowed as he shares an unsure glance with lee know. "did she say anything?"

that was the problem. you didn't. so he had no solid proof other than his theories.

"well, not really" he rubs the back of his neck. "but something is wrong. I know it. she's been acting weird."

"weird as in?"

"it's the usual. she hasn't changed. but when you look into her habits, they're not normal hyung."

it's tense. nobody knows what to say until changbin breaks the silence.

"what do you mean by not normal?"

"I don't mean it in a bad way," hyunjin hastily defends. "it's the way she's so paranoid, always on the edge. it can't be anxiety. anxiety doesn't make you act that way. it's almost like she's scared of something or someone."

he leaves it at that, allowing for the others to ponder over it.

your managers hadn't mentioned anything. maybe it was a sasaeng bothering you? maybe you slipped up and you were scared to share it with the company? scared of their berating?

"we can't jump to conclusions, can we?" felix interjects, fingers anxiously drumming against the table.

hyunjin shakes his head. "we can't. that's why i've been observing her for the past few weeks, and this was the most reasonable explanation i could find."

"what exactly made you start looking into it?"

"i tried jump scaring her two weeks ago, when she thought she was alone at the dorms. and she was so livid she didn't even crack a smile. i thought maybe she was just in a bad mood but for a few days after she kept acting strange around me. she would barely speak to me and even when she did she wouldn't meet my eyes."

chan hums, a frown twisting against his features. if hyunjin's guess was correct, you could be in serious trouble. and if he thought about it, there may just be a chance the boy was right. if you really did have a stalker threatening you, the chances you told them about it were close to zero. you were never one to confide in people easily.

"let's not tell the managers about it, yeah? we'll all observe her too. try seeing if there's anything out of the ordinary?"

and so they all agree, leaving the company in a much worse mood than with which they had entered. you were alone back at the dorms. it was your first day off in a very long time. hence hyunjin had chosen that moment to tell the others.

the drive back is tense. nobody says much. a few of them scroll through social media, trying to see if there's any news about a stalker. but they come up with nothing.

everything seems normal.

that is until they reach their apartment.

the change is immediately obvious. when chan unlocks the door, he stumbles back in surprise when he sees their dinner table blocking the corridor of the entrance, preventing them from entering the living room. the couch had also noticeably shifted, turned such that anyone sitting on it would have a clear view of the windows and the front door. every window is shut, the latches bolted.

"what the fuck happened here?" seungmin mutters in shock, carefully lifting the table from one end and moving it to make space for them to enter. the entire layout had changed.

"where's yn?"

all of them are visibly terrified as they make their way deeper into the dorm, noticing the can of pepper spray lying on the center table.

"yn!"

no answer.

"fuck. I hope she's okay."

there's nothing they can do besides hope as they reach your door. it's locked. there's no sound coming from the other side.

"yn?" Chan's voice wavers as he silently knocks at your door.

no answer.

"yn! it's us!" lee know pounds against the door.

there's a moment of tense silence before they hear the unmistakable click of your lock.

"hi?"

your hair is ruffled and your eyes puffy. you had been asleep.

it takes you by surprise when jeongin pushes his hyungs aside to grab you by the shoulders, chest heaving with the fright you had given them.

"what's wrong innie? why do you guys look like you've seen a ghost?"

"what's wrong? you tell us yn. why is all our furniture completely rearranged?"

for the first time your eyes land on the living room, and you gulp.

shit. you forgot to clean up.

"there was a bee. I was trying to kill it."

"what?"

it sounds ridiculous even to your own ears, but it's the best excuse you have.

"yeah. that's why the windows are closed. it got in somehow and I lost it. I was just trying to search for it." you shrug.

"what about the pepper spray?"

"I couldn't find the bug repellent."

the excuses come to you naturally.

"yn please-"

"it's not that big of a deal, oppa" you cut chan off, defensively crossing your arms. "you know I hate bugs. that's all there is to this. now will you please let me go back to sleep?"

you don't wait for their reply, shutting the door and locking it, leaving your members half confused and half exasperated. you were lying to them.

"please tell me none of you believed her." hyunjin whispers into the silence of the afternoon, taking care that you don't overhear them.

"something's definitely wrong," han agrees, his foot bouncing unconsciously against the carpet. "she's hiding something."

"but what?"

the million dollar question. what were you hiding? was it really a stalker?

"should we tell the managers about it now?"

"I think we should," lee know adds, looking at the others for confirmation.

"don't you think she'll be angry? she doesn't like people meddling with her business. you know how defensive she gets."

all of them turn to chan. in the end, it would be his say.

"I think we should try figuring out the reason first ourselves."

"but-"

"a motion detector and CCTV camera might work. hidden from sight, of course. it would alert us."

changbin hums, agreeing with their leader. "We could give it a try. It's better than nothing."

and so the plan is set. felix makes an excuse of buying parts for his PC and brings home the camera and motion detector. when you go to shower the next morning, the device is expertly concealed and motion detectors set in place.

chan insists you stay back that day too, going on for a long time about something related to your health and dark circles and what not. you agree reluctantly, and they don't fail to notice it. you didn't want to be alone. that was something.

"don't worry ynnie," jeongin reassures you as he ties his shoe lace while the others wait for him at the entrance. "the company is only 5 minutes away, we wont be far."

"are we just going to wait around here with nothing to do?" lee know asks, leaning back into the couch in their dance room.

"we don't have another option."

and so they do exactly that - wait. but it's not for long.

fifteen minutes into their boredom the first alarm goes off. the motion detectors had been triggered and the bell rings from chan's phone - where the control system had been set up.

"quick, check the camera!"

all eight of them huddle around chan's screen, watching intently at the familiar sight of their living room, eyes scanning for any sign of someone trying to break in.

but it's only you. you're pacing the living room, hands wringing by your side as you keep looking over your shoulder, flinching every time a paper rustles or the curtains move from the wind.

"what's wrong with her?"

felix furrows his brows, looking at the controls on chan's screen to make sure that the motion detector outside their front hasn't been activated. that meant nobody was trying to break in.

"she seems terrified."

"call her."

seungmin wastes no time in dialing your contact, and they watch in unison as you very nearly jump out of your skin when your phone goes off, a hand going to clutch your chest as you collapse into the couch.

"hello?"

your voice sounds normal. they wouldn't have suspected anything if they couldn't see your leg anxiously bouncing.

"is everything okay there?" seungmin asks carefully. he can't giveaway that they're secretly keeping an eye on you.

"uh yeah- yeah sure. everything is fine. why?"

"no reason. I was just taking a break."

"oh."

"alright stay safe. We'll be back in a while."

Seungmin is just about to hang up when you stop him.

"wait!"

for the first time a hysterical note seeps into your voice.

"yes?"

he's met with silence as they notice you pondering over something through the camera.

"yn?"

"nevermind. it's nothing. don't overwork yourself."

chan sighs deeply as he listens to you over the speaker, his fingers tightly gripping the edges of his phone.

you mutter your bye, and they watch you get up, carefully placing your phone on the table.

and then you do what they had been waiting for.

pushing your weight against the couch, you move it directly towards the wall, leaving no gap in between.

another alarm goes off on chan's phone.

then you angle it a bit, the same way they had found it the day before, such that you have a clear view of all entrances to the dorm.

all this while anxiously looking over your shoulder, once even jumping a bit as your foot got stuck on a fold in the carpet. your movements are tense, screaming with urgency, and it's the breaking point for them.

"that's it. we're going back," changbin huffs as he stands up, the other following behind quickly. chan maintains his concentration on the screen.

"she's turning on the t.v," chan informs, slinging his laptop bag over his shoulder and following them out of the building.

the ride back is silent. if their manager picks up on the strange atmosphere he doesn't mention it, and they're grateful to that. lying to their manager would be worse than hiding this from him.

it's only a five minutes drive, but it feels like eternity. when they finally enter the building, running up the stairs, it's eerie how peaceful their apartment looks from the out.

"do we knock or?"

"no. it might scare her."

seungmin pulls out the key from his pocket, trying to be as soft as possible as he unlocks the door, not wanting to startle you with any sudden noise.

"yn?"

chan quickly turns off his phone, stepping through the threshold.

you're sitting exactly where they saw you, some show mindlessly playing on the t.v. your eyes lock in on them as you scramble up.

"you guys are early. it's barely been half an hour."

should they tell you truth? confront you? try to coax it out of you? be subtle about it?

"guys?"

they snap out of their trance, their voices immediately breaking the silence of the dorm.

"yeah! we didn't want to leave you by yourself for long."

"oh."

you take your place on the couch, and raise a brow as they all settle themselves around you too. they don't change or wash up or anything. they just silently occupy any empty space they can find.

it's strange.

"are you guys ok?" you voice, turning off the t.v to look at felix who's sitting beside you.

silence.

they all exchange glances. someone has to bring it up.

"are you okay?" hyunjin finally asks, turning his body to face yours.

"what?"

"yn, please. just answer him."

"no no what do you mean hyune?"

you voice is an octave higher, hands digging into the leather cushion of their couch.

"yn," chan tries to pacify. they hadn't expected this to escalate over a simple question.

"what? why are all of you looking at me like that? i'm fine there's nothing wrong with me."

"yn-"

"stop interfering in things that aren't your business!" you finally snap, cutting felix off as you stand up, turning to face them. "this is none of your business so keep out of it!"

you're breathing heavily and a beat passes in silence.

"yn, what's wrong love?"

chan carefully gets up to put an arm over your shoulder, gently pulling you down to sit. you're trembling and barely half a minute passes before you crumble into chan's shoulder - suddenly - sobs punctuating the silence of the afternoon.

"i'm sorry," you manage between gasps. "i'm so sorry."

even chan look alarmed as he hurriedly tries to calm you down.

"there's nothing to be sorry about, ynnie. please talk to us."

but you can barely talk. you're all but wailing as the other seven huddle around you, their reassurances mixing together.

"i lied. i've been a terrible friend, snapping at you all the time. i'm so sorry it's all my fault."

"yn-"

"nothing is okay. everything is a mess and i don't know what to do."

the leader gently coaxes your face out from where it's nestled in his neck, and rubs a thumb below your waterline, collecting the salt streams streaking down your face.

"ynnie. please calm down, yeah? we want to help. tell us what's wrong."

"i'm- i'm messed up, chan. that's what is wrong."

"don't say that! it's not true."

you break down into another torment of sobs, and they hurry to calm you down.

"it's my head. it's messing with me. something is wrong. i just-," you voice breaks as chan leans to plant a soft kiss against your temple. "-i just don't know what."

"what do you mean?" hyunjin asks softly.

you take your time, elaborating through sobs and broken gasps about your suspected condition. if you had thought they would judge you, you were completely wrong. they listen attentively, comforting you through it.

"i don't want to, but i can't help it," you whisper, leaning into chan's touch. "my brain convinces me that there's always someone hiding just beyond my sight. everytime i speak to someone i'm wired into believing they'll use that information against me somehow, or they'll try to harm me. public events are a nightmare. i don't remember the last time i've been to an award show and felt alright."

"oh yn."

han all but pounces on you and chan, ruffling your hair as hiccups wrack through your figure.

they've never seen you like this. they've never seen anyone like this, in fact.

"it's so loud in my head. it started off small, i didn't even notice when i began thinking or feeling this way. but it just got worse and worse to the point where i've been an absolute pain to all of you - snapping at you, lying to you, fighting with you. i just- i don't know what to do anymore."

"hey hey, listen to me, yeah? this is not your fault. and you haven't been a pain. don't ever think that again," chan reminds you, coaxing you to face him, heart breaking a little at the tears streaking your face.

"but-"

"nope. nuh-uh. no blaming this on yourself."

you chin wobbles as you try to control a fresh onslaught of sobs.

all of them are so understanding you don't even know if you're crying from all the love or the confrontation.

"we'll help you through this, yn. we promise. you don't have to suffer through this alone."

"you don't have to do this. you're all already so busy and-"

"your mental health is a lot more important to us than anything else," felix interjects flatly, rubbing a soothing hand over your back.

"yeah! you've been hiding this for so long and we just want to help you feel better again! no matter what it takes."

you flash a grateful smile to changbin through the tears, earning an encouraging grin from him.

"you're all too nice for your own good. thank you."

"don't worry you can repay us by letting me jump scare you!"

"yah hyunjin do you want to be stuffed into the air fryer?"

it didn't take a genius to figure out who the comment came from as you giggled softly.

it's going to be okay, you think. you know your boys will help you through it, and that itself was the first step of your recovery.

you'll be fine.

©lixie-phoria, 2024

[moonlightazriel]

Main Masterlist

Suguru Geto, who still mourns you every day, even though you're still alive. He mourns what would've been like to hold you, to wake up by your side every day, to see you smile so lovingly at him like you used to.

Suguru Geto, who wishes you never went to that cursed village, never accepted that mission, it should've been him instead. He never really knew what happened, all he was told was that you "deserted your mission and didn't fulfill your duties, she's considered a curse user and should be found to be executed."

Suguru Geto, who spent years looking for you, his best friend, the love of his life. The sweet girl who always had a sweet treat for him after a mission, helping him with the bad taste the curses left in his mouth. The sweet girl who held him silently, stroking his hair and being there for him whenever the thoughts in his head became too much to bear.

Suguru Geto, who still goes to the same coffee shop you loved, hoping to catch a glimpse of you, just a flash, it was all he needed to know you were alright. Who sat at the same booth, drank the same coffee, and watched the door, hoping that one day you would walk through.

Suguru Geto, who is surprised when two teenagers approach him at that same table, the girls, clearly twins, shared a look of relief and sat down, smiling brightly at him. He was even more surprised when they slid a photo towards him. He recognized Satoru, his tongue poking out of his mouth, pointed towards the camera. He recognized himself, one hand in his pocket while he pretended to be annoyed at the two other people, and then was you, holding his other hand, while you laughed at Satoru's silly face, your big, wide smile, from when life still made sense to him.

Suguru Geto, who is overwhelmed by emotions and frantic thoughts as he listens to them, their concerned expressions and worried laced voices, as they tell him about how their mom still cries, clutched to a black shirt, one that belonged to him, and still kept photos of the two of them. They tell him about how they wanted to help their mama to be happy again and they needed him to bring her joy, and they don't leave him alone until he agrees to help.

Suguru Geto, who can't sleep that night, has too many things in his head, and all of them about you. He needed to know what happened, why did you leave him without even saying goodbye? How was that easy for you to leave? Did you still love him like you used to? Because he did, not even for a second, even though all those years had passed, he still loved you like he did when he was eighteen.

Suguru Geto, who drives the twins to a more secluded area, away from the chaos of Tokyo, just like you said you would like to do one day, he arrives at a nice, cozy home, with flowers decorating the entryway, a big garden with fruits and vegetables growing, and kneeling on the ground, wearing a sundress and tending to the plants, you. The one who got away.

"Mommy, we're home!" One of the twins, Nanako, announced, and you turned to him. Your hair was slightly shorter, your eyes had lost their spark but you still looked so damn beautiful that made his knees go weak just from the sight of you.

"Suguru?" You asked, clearly in disbelief, feeling like you were hallucinating from the heat. He stood there, his hair cascading over his shoulders, bigger than you remembered, and you remembered so many details about him, even if you tried so hard to erase his existence from your life, you could never forget about him.

You felt the tears heavy in your eyes, moving unsurely towards him, you had left him, he had all the right to hate you, to never talk to you again, but as you approached him, close enough for him to touch you, he pulled you closer by the waist like he always did, his large, warm hand cupped your cheek and you felt the tears running down your face.

"You're as beautiful as the day I lost you." He had said it so tenderly that a sob escaped your parted lips, you allowed your head to rest against his chest, and he buried his nose in your hair, inhaling your scent, his hands touching, poking, and roaming, feeling your body against him. Real. You were real and here he was, his heart overwhelmed by love and betrayal, you had left him, you left him alone when he needed you the most, he never got over you and what you did. Before he could argue, your voice caught his attention.

"I'm so sorry I left." That took him by surprise, he always thought that this day would never come, that he would never really know what had happened, but here he was, having the chance to understand you, to mend the void that opened up in his chest the day you left. "My loves, can you please prepare some tea for our guest? We have a lot to talk about!"

He watched as the twins nodded at you, going inside as you took him by the hand, silently guiding him towards a large tree, two swings waited for the two of you, and as you set, he looked at the lake behind your house, the water calmly resting, the view making him feel a little less anxious for the conversation that was about to happen.

"When I accepted that mission, I didn't know what it was about." Your voice wavered, and tears still fell from the corners of your eyes, but you didn't face him, too ashamed to do so. "All they told me was that two cursed spirits were hunting that village and I should get rid of them. When I arrived there, two beautiful little girls were imprisoned there, they had bruises and they were hungry. The way they talked about them, like they were some kind of disgrace, I couldn't accept that. When I opened the cell door, the two clung up to me, begging for me to take them away from that place." He closed his eyes, trying to imagine what he would've done if it was him, the thoughts that consumed his mind were far away from what's considered right.

"And that's what I did, I ran away with them. I was going to tell you, I swear I was, but when the higher ups demanded I take them back, that they should be killed, I lost my faith in the jujutsu world. How could they ask that to me? How could they expect me to kill children like that? After what had just happened to Amanai... I couldn't bear the thought of being responsible for another young life taken away from this world. So I left to make sure they would have a life, they would experience it all. It was hard at first, I was barely 18, but I managed to raise them, and they're so good Sugu, you have to see how smart they are. I would never forgive myself if I allowed something to happen to them."

"You could've told me, I would've run away with you, I would do anything for you." His voice was raw with emotion and you were looking at him now, seeing all the distress and pain in those eyes.

"If I had told you, they would try and kill you too, I could never ask that of you. To leave your life behind." He laughed dryly.

"That's the part you don't understand, I would gladly give up that life for you, I would leave everything behind for you, because you were all that mattered to me, all that I needed." He sighed. "I loved you to the point that I wouldn't mind."

"Loved..." You repeated back to him and he just laughed harder.

"Fuck it." He got up, and pulled you up with him, cupping your cheek and pulling you so close you were breathing the same air, his lips closed the small gap, taking you by surprise, you melted against him and it felt like a day hadn't passed, he was still your Suguru, the man you loved with all of your heart, the man you could never forget about, the man that made you so madly in love that you never tried anything with no one else, because they weren't him.

"Loved" is the wrong word because I never stopped, not even for a minute. I love you, and I also hate you for leaving me. What you did is unforgivable, I'll never be able to get all those years we should've spent together back and I hate it. But I don't want to waste a single moment again, I'll never let you go again, and if they want to kill me for it? Fuck it. I love you." He breathed, his forehead against yours.

"I love you too Sugu, and nothing is taking you away from me again." You kissed him again.

Satoru Gojo who received two letters a month later, one announcing that Suguru Geto had officially deserted from his position and was considered a curse user. And another one, a photo of Geto, you and two teenage girls, the only thing written in Suguru's messy handwriting was an address and "Bring Megumi and Shoko with you."

[badaboomx]

Every night (doing you right) | Bada Lee x Reader

PAIRING: G!P Bada Lee x Fem!Reader.  SETTING: Underground dancer Bada Lee is quite the popular girl in town and way out of your league. Or so you think. (Continuation of 'Did I mention') WORDS: 6k PART: 2 of 3

ⓘ This one doesn't have smut, but it does have risque elements. Proceed with caution.

Lusher’s encouraging words were one thing, but the next thing was getting over this strange block that kept you from uttering a single word about the subject. By not bringing it up, it seemed that Bada didn’t feel like bringing it up either, creating a strange and stupid situation that wasn’t entirely hopeless but infuriating.

For example, the next time you saw Bada was not the time or place to bring it up. Lusher needed to bring back a couple of jackets that Bada borrowed her, and so she dragged you with her. Bada was at home, doing some maintenance to her car by the time you both arrived. And just by being in her presence you could feel yourself slowly reverting to when you first met her – nervous, unsure of whether you should be there or not. But when you both were close enough…

“Hey,” Bada said simply, giving Lusher a quick hug. “You look like hell.”

Lusher, who hadn’t slept trying to study, playfully growled at her. “Whatever,” she sounded so tired, too. “Where do I put these?”

Bada pointed her head to the table deep into the garage, watching Lusher go.

Her greeting to you? Bada looked at you for a second, the most subtle smile appearing on her face. “Hey, scared puppy,” she said lowly. “Still afraid that I’ll bite?”

You shook your head, unable to even say anything.

“Then come here,” she said, beckoning you to come close for a hug. 

You hesitated for a second, but still let her do so. It was a quick, simple hug too. Yet it felt really nice, comfortable. You felt safe all over again for that brief moment before you both pulled away. Quietly looking at each other; she didn’t mention it, you didn’t mention it. Bada smirked a little and patted your head as she pulled away fully, looking back at Lusher and talking to her about the jackets.

You stood there, like an idiot. Watching, yearning, debating whether or not to take this time to do anything. But it wasn’t the time, you just couldn’t.

Bada went back to work while you and Lusher left her to get back to it.

But let us not fool ourselves. Opportunities weren’t lacking at all. You both just never brought it up for some ungodly reason. Listen, it’s almost hilarious, let us recount the time.

It would be a whole week before you would get to see her again, however. First off, you were added to the girls’ group chat and introduced to all the girls in the crew, which just grew your social circle just as you wanted. But what was interesting was just how little Bada spoke in that group chat as a whole, despite being the leader. Every now and then she joked with the girls, but by comparison to how chatty everyone was she certainly didn’t talk as much. While the girls kept you entertained, and you were very happy to meet them, a side of you longed to hear more of Bada. That detached presence made her look all the more cool and elusive, but it made you yearn to see her more. It gnawed at you to the point you went to her profile, seeing her social media and noting there was only instagram to check out. As you’d expect, she had only shared a few pictures of herself with the team during practice, some outfit from a competition three months ago, and a clip of her working on a drawing. Not as updated as you wanted to, but it checks out as someone who keeps to themselves.

Truly a woman who was a privilege to witness in the flesh, you’d come to realize. That only made Bada’s presence all the more cathartic to you, especially when you met her again after a while.

Picture this, you were walking down the streets after a class and Mr. Annoying (as you’d come to call him) classmate insisted on following you home. Not walking you, cause that would imply that you said yes. He just had temporary deafness whenever you said ‘Leave me alone.’  Still, you did your best to ignore him as he chatted away and tried to get you to respond to something, subtly throwing an insult disguised as a compliment to get you to shout at him, or even apologizing for how weird he was. But you really didn’t say anything, knowing that because you were the new kid in town he thought he had the advantage to do whatever he wanted.

You were wondering what the hell to do, where to run, until–.

“Hey.”

You stopped in your spot and turned around at that voice that was like the heavens had opened up for you.

There Bada was in all her towering height and imposing presence, wearing a black cap that obscured her eyes and baggy, hip attire that felt just as menacing. That relief washed over your body entirely the moment you recognized that woman, like she was your Prince Charming but better. Behind her were Lusher and the others who were unsure of what to do and kept their distance, but were ready for anything. Bada, instead, approached casually and cooly, getting closer to you. “We’ve been looking for you,” she said, staring at you and then at Mr. Annoying, pointing at him casually. “He’s with you?”

“Yeah!” The guy didn’t like this, but he pretended to be a normal friend of yours. “I was just walking her home,” he lied, starting to back away – perhaps intimidated by Bada’s presence.

Bada looked at you as he said that and you shook your head rather violently. To which Bada only looked at him and smiled. It was an odd smile you’ve never seen on her, but you could tell it was merely to avoid escalating the situation and putting you in danger. “Thanks, I’ll take it from here,” she said firmly and matter of factly, reaching a hand out for you to take, which you did instantly and moved to get behind her immediately.

“H-hey, wait just a minute,” the guy said, reaching out to try and grab you. 

Bada stood in front of him to avoid even getting closer to you, swatting his hand away. “I’ll take it from here, you can go,” she sounded less nice now, with more authority, but spoke low to not create a commotion.

Which the guy had no issues in creating. “How do I know you guys are her friends, huh?” He pointed at Bada with an accusatory finger as he yelled, relentlessly (even if slowly) trying to find a way to circle around Bada to get to you, but Bada was faster and taller. People around you either ignored him babbling or turned to look with a bit of concern. “She doesn’t have any friends, I know that.”

Bada on the other hand, discreetly took the keys to her car and subtly motioned to Lusher to take them, which the brunette did quickly dragging you and the rest of the girls towards the car and hopping in. The guy saw that and started to get a bit more physical with Bada, now throwing his body to get past her only to receive a hard shove from her that sent him back hard. But he was like a desperate, drunken man who kept lunging forward and threatened Bada with violence now, trying to get the bystanders to be on his side by shouting that you were his girlfriend and that these bandits were taking you. The only thing he was getting was the attention of two waiters from a nearby restaurant trying to hold him back and placate him. The girls had hopped in the car, Lusher had started it and backed up a bit so that Bada could make a quick getaway.

But then the guy called Bada a freak and a multitude of… other very offensive things that I would rather not say here. 

The girls heard it, you heard it and you thought Bada would just let it go and get in the car. It hadn’t dawned on you then. But Tatter’s immediate reaction of getting out of the car after hearing that told you everything about it.

Bada decked the man right in the face, cleanly, watching him fall backwards on the floor and pathetically lay there for a second. She was angry, and if it wasn’t for Tatter holding her back she would’ve lunged forward to give him more. You hopped out of the car yourself, just to give Tatter a hand, coaxing Bada to just get in the car. With both Tatter’s and your calming words, Bada only warned him to leave you alone from now on and got in the car with both of you. 

The car screeched out of there, leaving skidmarks and a cloud of smoke and then you guys were out of there.

The atmosphere in the car was tense at first, with Lusher driving off quickly and Tatter keeping her eyes peeled on the road. Kyma and Minah sat tensely, looking around and at the window as if scared that the cops might approach them for what just happened. But Bada was still angry, at least at first. The labored breath gave it away, seated against the other window and almost unable to face the girls after that – unable to even face you, who sat right next to her. 

Just looking at her you were fascinated at this new side of her. Someone so composed, so chill, losing their cool and even looking angry at herself for showing that side to you and the girls. It… made you want to care for her, pushing aside any nervousness you had.

“Hey,” you softly said to Bada, making her look at you. “You okay?”

Bada shook her head a little, taking off her cap. As she did though, you noticed the slight bruising on her knuckles. 

Without realizing, you reached over and grabbed her hand to look at her knuckles and that made you both stop to look at each other for a brief moment. She looked a bit surprised, but you kept going, brushing your thumb lightly across her knuckles. “We gotta get you something cold.”

“I’m fine,” Bada said softly, a slight smile cracking up her stone-cold expression. “Just…”

You looked back up, waiting for her to keep going, placing your palm gently on top of her knuckles.

And she seemed to like that, looking at both of your hands and then up at you with a small smile. “Just keep your hand on mine, that feels better.”

Thump.

That made your heart beat very loudly in your chest, it trembled at the sweetness of that statement, at the loving look in Bada’s now visible eyes. She stared at you, straight to you, without caring if anyone else noticed or if anyone else heard it. Electrifying, tentacling all over your body. 

Then as you guys got further and further away (metaphorically and literally) from the crime scene, the tension lifted. “That was sick,” Lusher laughed out, breaking that heavy air and making the rest of the girls cackle at the suddenness.

Hell, even Bada seemed to find it a little funny. 

It turns out the girls had just finished their dance practice and were just about to drive to eat somewhere. By freakish coincidence the girls were just walking out of the studio and were going to take off, and you had walked right past them without noticing. Bada was the first to catch the situation given the way you seemed stressed and the way the guy kept talking up a storm, so she came to your aid without hesitation. Not thinking it over for a second, just acting on the instinct to protect a friend.

You looked over at Bada, muttering a soft ‘thank you’ to her. 

Bada merely smiled and bowed her head a bit to you. No more words spoken.

I’m almost exaggerating. You both didn’t really speak much for the rest of this impromptu hanging out session. When you all arrived at the crew’s favorite place, you and Bada were just inexplicably drawn together, walking near one another and instinctively sitting next to one another. You were about to sit on your own, until you saw Bada pull the chair for you to sit proper. Then, as everyone was eating, she was taking care of everyone as it was her tacit responsibility as the leader and the oldest member, but with you…

“Open,” Bada said softly, holding a piece of food up.

And of course you let Bada feed you. It was a gesture that made you shy, but it filled you with a lot of warmth. It felt different than how she took care of others in some way, but you couldn’t exactly put your finger on it. Not like there was a space in that nogging of yours to think about anything else but the elephant in the room that you had to bring up at one point. 

One point.

“Hey, you have some sauce under your lip,” Tatter warned you, showing you where exactly.

You looked at the blonde woman, still partially lost in your wordless thoughts, so you unintentionally just stared at her in total silence. 

Lusher, who was the only one who knew anything, laughed to herself while Kyma and Minah tried to get your attention. 

Bada gently grabbed you by your chin and made you look at her while she looked at the stain and kindly wiped it off you with her thumb. A slight graze, her thumb barely touching your lower lip, but it paralyzed you and created a warm flush to run down your spine. “There we go,” Bada said with finality, sucking the sauce from her thumb and returning to her meal like the rest of the girls.

You would have to bring it up at one point…

But that moment wasn’t now, because just like that the moment was gone. When you and Lusher returned to your dorms, Lusher hit your arm playfully and hopped a little in her spot. Gushing over what happened today and how romantic it was, and all you could do was stand there and blush.

The next time you both would meet wouldn’t be for another three weeks, though some interactions were sprinkled in between. Brief moments that were not substantial enough for you to bring up whatever happened at the party, but enough to remain in your mind. 

First off, Mr. Annoying has resorted to never even looking at you, but initially he tried it again. Just like she was called by some ethereal being to help, Bada re-appeared to aid you. Ah, it was like she emerged from the shadows off the Café nearby, standing so casually besides you, but just off enough that she was behind. The guy noticed instantly and just walked away, popping up his collar and hiding his shameful face. When you turned around to see Bada, she smiled. 

“If he gives you more grief, let me know,” she merely said, walking away with what she had ordered. A chance meeting, where you could barely thank her.

He never tried it again.

You also got to know more about Bada through the mouth and perceptions of others, beyond the dance crew. 

Lusher dragged you out of your books and back outside into the real world, getting you to meet someone else from her seemingly endless circles of friends. This time it was a quiet bar in the middle of the week, meeting up with a woman who was like that older sister you would love and hate to have.  A conversation over a pool game had you three traveling to many topics, but it briefly stopped on the topic of Bada.

The woman, whose name escapes you, and who was winning the game, casually chatted while playing. “That Bada has a lot of the girls in the scene thirsty,” she laughed, shaking her head. “Apparently, she’s quite the lover girl.”

You gulped quietly, looking over at Lusher who instantly chimed in.

“How so?” Lusher asked, acting oblivious but having a subtle shit-eating smile and glance.

“Well–.” Smack! Another ball in her favor. You weren’t going to play any time soon. “These are just rumors, of course. But I hear she’s quite the heart throb, a very–.” Smack! Another one in. “Good lover, I guess.”

“Ooooh, really?” Lusher wiggled her eyebrow, looking at you.

But this only made a strange gut feeling emerge for you.

“Bada’s a good dancer,” the woman shrugged. “So, you can do the math. It figures she would be a –.” Smack! “Good fuck, pardon the expression.”

Ah, there was a swift twinge of jealousy when you heard that. It was irrational, right? Women that were with Bada before you even met Bada, yet they seemingly had such an easy time getting with her. THAT is what made you feel jealous, as ridiculous as it is. But it’s not just that jealousy, is it? It’s the implication that Bada has been here before. Bada had plenty to choose, plenty to chase, it was so easy for her and she wouldn’t sit down and think about you. 

But the previous incidents and everything you knew now made it difficult for you to fully believe that and give up. But you couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Especially after meeting up – on a different occasion – with one of Bada’s previous flings. This time, Lusher and Tatter were with you. A workout session together at the gym led to meeting with Bada’s fling by chance. The conversation wasn’t naturally landing on Bada this time, but Lusher – who is more invested in this than the rest of us at this point – directed the conversation towards it.

“You know,” Lusher started, patting the unknown woman we don’t really need to describe in the back. “We’re going to have a party at Chocol’s sometime next week. Me and the girls are coming over if you want us to–.”

The lady seemed to pause a little, slowly turning to see Lusher. “Who is going to go?”

“It’s a handful of people, Bada’s coming to pick me and m–.”

“Oh, I’ll have to pass darling,” the lady laughed in good humor, patting Lusher’s shoulder. “I’m in the process of getting a boyfriend, and he’s not very fond of Bada.”

Lusher was actually surprised and now you just felt bad, but before she could even think about anything to say…

“What’s wrong with Bada, though?” Tatter asked.

“That’s just the problem, nothing’s really wrong with Bada,” the lady shrugged. “We just… had a very intense but ultimately stringless relationship.”

Silence reigned but not with tension. Because Lusher and Tatter were standing there still like the emojis, it was pretty funny. I think they both didn’t really understand the implication, but you did. “And that matters because…?” Tatter asked, shrugging.

“Let’s just say, Bada and I never resolved that. And he’s… a little jealous about that.”

“Wouldn’t this be a great time to just… talk it out?” Tatter said, not knowing the entire reason Lusher even brought it up.

You could tell Lusher hated that because her eyes widened to the point where murdering Tatter was written all over her orbs, but she quickly relaxed back to her normal expression. I, too, want to murder Tatter because this means now we have to name this random lady and give her some importance, UGH.

The lady in question, Hyemi, merely told Lusher and Tatter that she would give it a thought and call them to confirm her attendance.

When she walked away, Lusher looked at you apologetically.

Now you truly didn’t feel confident about whatever was going on. Was Bada just after another conquest? Were you just another future fling? Or… was there more?

Tatter looked at you both with confusion. “What… is going on?”

Bada’s car had a strange air to it that night, with you in the passenger seat and feeling like someone was staring dagger glares at you from the back.

The night of the party finally came and you, Lusher and Tatter all gathered in your dorm room an hour before being picked up by Bada. Just as you all chatted away, a text message popped up on Lusher’s phone. It was Hyemi confirming her assistance and asking if she could be picked up. Lusher looked so annoyed by it, and Tatter – who now knew about everything – was apologetic to you both about it. You told both of them it was alright, that there was no need to show animosity to Hyemi. But deep down inside your feelings mirrored Lusher.

Fast forward to you four meeting up outside your dorm complex waiting for Bada. The conversation and the vibes were as chill as Lusher and Tatter could make them, the tension not there yet – or at least something only you could feel. But when Bada’s car slowed down across the curb, suddenly there was some visible tension on Hyemi’s part. 

“Yo,” Lusher said, walking up to the passenger seat.

“Come on in, ladies,” Bada merely said at first, looking at the girls getting in. Until–. “Yo, puppy,” Bada started, turning to see you about to hop in. “Sit shotgun for me, will you? I need a good pair of eyes where we’re going.”

Hyemi looked at you then at Bada. “I can do it.”

Lusher was faster than lighting though, dragging you out from your position and getting in instead of you to block Hyemi’s path. “I thought we were going to Chocol’s?” Lusher asked, just to drive the conversation away from having Bada change her mind. 

You got yourself comfortable in the passenger seat, closed the door and could feel Bada’s eyes on you for a moment too long. 

“We have to pick up Minah,” Bada replied with a chuckle, pulling out her phone to text her. “You guys look good, by the way.”

“Thaaaank you,” the girls all said harmoniously, all sounding just as giddy. 

And you just quietly blushed with a big smile, unable to respond verbally.

Bada put the phone away, looking at your reaction and smiling. “Put your seatbelt on, puppy,” she said lowly, starting to take off.

The silence in the car made it so that everyone could hear that, so you slowly looked back and noticed Hyemi’s look – or what you could see in the darkness of the car. You put your seatbelt on and started to feel that tension among all of you on this silent ride. It isn’t until Lusher and Tatter start to chat it up and lighten up the mood that you felt that suffocating tension let up a little bit. You weren’t sure if Bada felt it, or if it was just you who knew all the context. The tall, elusive dancer just kept her hand on the wheel cooly and let everyone else do the talking. You wouldn’t know, you couldn’t tell.

This party was going to be quite a disaster.

Despite it being a house party, there were quite a few people attending. Yet, this felt like a private little gathering, private enough that they weren’t letting anyone in without someone who knew Chocol personally. For this, Bada personally grabbed your hand and said. “I have to vouch for you, stay with me.” While the girls all were allowed in without hesitation and with warm greetings. 

By the time Bada came up to whoever was acting as the doorman, they had eyed you and squinted. “She looks like a scared puppy.”

Again?! Damn it, you really couldn’t get that look off your face. 

Bada laughed and patted your head a little. “She does, doesn’t she? I’m taking her under my wing, this scared little puppy.”

But when Bada said it, you consistently melted without hesitation. Instinctively, you hugged her arm a bit when she said that, which made the doorman look at you with some surprise.

“So, can she come in?” Bada asked politely, but still as cool and confident as ever.

Without a word and just giving Bada a look that you couldn’t decipher (but it was definitely cheeky), they moved aside and let you and Bada into the on-going party. Good music blared from the speakers, the people were up talking, or dancing,or by the nearest table playing poker, chatting it up in a group near the couch – and god knows what else. It was a brand new world opening for you, it was overwhelming.

And yet, something about this felt somewhat familiar. Like a smaller version of the party Lusher took you at the beginning of this story.

Bada looked down at you and chuckled. “You’re gonna rip my arm off.”

It took you that comment for you to realize you’ve been clinging to her arm like crazy. Instantly, you detached yourself with a barely coherent apology. 

“No sweat, puppy,” Bada laughed, patting your shoulder and looking around. “Let me get you to Lusher and the girls before I leave you.”

You looked up at her instantly. “Leave me?”

Bada laughed a bit more and patted your head again. “Not for long, I just gotta do something.”

And you knew Bada enough to know she wasn’t going to explain, instead she locked eyes with Lusher, tilted her head up just enough in knowledgement and held your hand as she made her way through to Lusher. Once you were near Lusher, Bada bid you farewell and disappeared from your sight.

“W-where is she going?” Lusher asked you.

You could just shrug and shake your head, knowing just as much as they knew. Hyemi stayed put in her place though, even though she had followed Bada with her eyes and was laser focused on talking to her.

Still, Lusher pulled you into the conversing bunch on the couch and introduced you to them, wanting to distract you while Bada was inexplicably gone. And while it worked, every now and then you instinctively looked around for her. Until the people around the couch felt in the mood to play a little good ol’ truth or dare, then your attention was fully drawn to this fairly entertaining game. In the mixtures of truths and silly dares you found solace and laughter, even connection with these people. Your first turn was a truth and you were giving leniency, a question that was safely scandalous but not too revealing. It got people chuckling, it got you blushing, but it got you in the mood of the game.

However, at one point Bada had returned to the group without explaining herself. Cooly just grabbed a drink and a snack from the nearest table and sat between Lusher and Tatter. Without a word uttered unnecessarily besides greetings, she had joined in the game and was soon asked the imperative question. Truth or dare. Without thinking much, Bada shrugged and called for a dare. And because someone up there has a sick sense of humor…

“I dare you to go 7 minutes in heaven with someone here.” 

The Oohs and Aahs weren’t as big as you thought they would be, instead there was quite a bit of laughter. For a second you thought there was a joke you were missing, or perhaps an incident that you weren’t told about. By the way Bada laughed and rolled her eyes it was perhaps the latter. Wordlessly, Bada chugged down the rest of her bottle and without much flare placed it on the ground, right in the middle of the group. With one twist of the wrist, it spun like crazy.

And then it slowed down to a steady stop. The mouth of the bottle slowly came to a stop and your heart stopped the moment you saw it slow down on you – but not enough. It skimmed past you onto the person right next to you.

Hyemi.

The reaction was mixed, with some people laughing and others discussing whether or not that should be allowed, but nothing concrete. Tatter felt horrible and Lusher wanted to eat the bottle on your behalf.

Hyemi, on the other hand, looked anxious about it. Not quite disappointed, but not quite celebrating.

Bada had the subtlest smirk on her before she got up. “Alright, let’s go. Start the timer,” she said, simply walking away from the group and hoping Hyemi would follow suit. And Hyemi did, no words spoken on her end.

Oh, jealousy boiled madly inside of you, but you tried your best to keep in your spot and keep track of the game around you – that undoubtedly continued while Bada was in… those 7 minutes of Heaven. The laughter and chatter became background noise as the minutes went by though. You could almost hear the clock ticking away, chipping off at the time nibble by nibble. Silly dares came and went, sour and hard-hitting truths and the philosophical discussions that came after it persisted and you were just entrapped in your own circle of thoughts.

What if Hyemi decided her chemistry with Bada is better and most important? What if she opts to cheat (well, she’s not cheating yet) on the guy she likes with Bada? What if Bada finds herself more interested in Hyemi and doesn’t… look back at you?

What if Bada gets bored of this chasing around, cat and mouse thing?

You felt like you could no longer stand around and wait for answers to rain down to your lap, not like this. At that moment you stood up and excused yourself from the game, trying to be as discreet as possible as you made your way through the small group of people lounging about. Lusher was confused, Tatter was even more so, but they figured they would get the gossip later. You barely even made it outside of the living room space before you stopped in your tracks in the hallway. Hyemi and Bada were just walking out of the closet from under the stairs, turning off the light as they chatted very… amicably about something. You didn’t know what, you couldn’t hear, but you didn’t care to.

Nearly stomping your way there, you walked up to the girl’s face and you could only hear Bada briefly say. “7 minutes passed already?”

But you didn’t care, nor did you stop to think. You only said. “I need to talk to you,” to Bada, looking up at her and then pushing her back into the closet. You turned to Hyemi who looked utterly confused and apologized briefly before going into the closet and closing the door shut.

Bada was the one to turn on the light, a bulb hanging loosely from the closet’s ceiling. She was hunched over just a bit, the place a bit cramped for her height. The expressions in her face for once betrayed her coolness and showed confusion, but you had never looked more determined. Well, okay, maybe a bit like a scared puppy, but desire was written all over your face and Bada could only catch a glimpse from it before you just went for it.

Cupping her cheeks, you leaned in and pressed your lips against hers in a passionate yet pure kiss. It made Bada’s gasp get caught in her throat, her hands not sure where to go, until she eased into it. She responded smoothly, a hand placed gently on the middle of your back. Not pushing you in, but not pulling away, just letting you lead in this moment of boldness from yours. You, without realizing, pushed your body against hers and made her walk backwards against the nearest wall. With her back against the wall and with you pressed against her, her other hand caressed your arm and the other one pulled you closer in – the kiss going from a rather desperate and chaste kiss to a more passionate one that still held that restraint of a first kiss. Which was surprising coming from Bada, who seemed like the kind of woman to go full speed ahead even in a kiss. But no, she was slow, touching you in the most gentle way, like you were the petal of a rose that she was trying to preserve for as long as she could. 

As much as you didn’t want the kiss to end, you had to pull away to breathe. It was like the kiss had knocked the winds out of you, like you weren’t prepared for this, so when you pulled away you realized just how much you went in unprepared. Your labored breath in no way matched Bada’s; you looked so much more worked up about it that you could only hope Bada didn’t notice. But why were you playing all cool? You were blushing hard, still pressed against her, you had pushed her in here to kiss her; you didn’t have to pretend to be so cool.

But Bada… seemed to find it quite cool, smirking. “I’ll be damned.”

You gulped, looking at her and taking in the way she looked at you. Her eyes were fixed on yours and had a vague look of surprise that you hadn’t seen on her. Her cheeks slightly flushed, her lips so thick and delightful. Something about the way she looked at you had you bewitched, shaken down to your core. You pulled away further, clearing your throat as if to recompose yourself, and then noticed a little tell-tale bulge from Bada.

Oh my, you couldn’t stop staring. A dormant beast that was only half awake and it already seemed to be quite the… endowment. You felt that exquisite, fuzzy pressure in the pit of your gut and it excited you. God, you couldn’t stop staring at it and that amused Bada quite a bit.

“Never seen one?” She cheekily commented, getting your attention.

You looked up at her, probably confused or–.

Then someone knocked on the door. “Yo, Bada? We gotta go.”

You had instinctively looked at the door, then at Bada. It dawned on you that this might have not been the best moment. With a small smile (was… that annoyance in her eyes? a twitch in her lips betrayed her composure but you didn’t know if you were imagining it), she patted your head and walked away from the situation, hiding her hardness as she did – like it was nothing. And just like that, she was out of your grasp.

And while some self-doubt plagued you, there was something there. A sliver of hope that Bada might actually like you. When you walked out, Hyemi looked at you with slight dejection but overall with some respect. Whatever she was thinking about she did not tell you, but frankly it wasn’t your business either. You both just silently walked back to the group who saw the absence of Bada and figured not to bring it up. Lusher was confused as Tatter was, but ultimately they did not bring it up either.

The rest of the night was enjoyable, even if it went by in a flash. A hazy flash that you remembered bits and pieces of, namely the craziest confessions in truth or dare, the tensest games of poker and the silliest dances ever seen on the dancefloor. All in all a pretty fun spectacle that seldom had Bada as a witness, seeing as she had only returned at one point towards the end of the evening party to catch up and drive all of you back home.

The ride back was quiet, like everyone had partied out their energy and didn’t feel like even chatting about it. In the passenger seat was Hyemi, Bada was the one driving and Lusher, Tatter and you were all decompressed and nearly limp in the backseats. At one point Lusher was even heard snoring, which seemed to bring a smile to Bada’s lips. Tatter quietly slept and you pretended to sleep, wrapping your head around what happened. Quietly untangling the complicated feelings you had and trying to figure out how to… well, get some alone time with Bada to talk to her about whatever the hell happened there.

But you suddenly heard a quiet voice break the silence.

“So, what are you doing after you drop us off?” It was Hyemi, careful not to disturb the sleep of those next to you, perhaps thinking you were asleep too. You carefully listened while pretending to be asleep as well.

Bada shrugged at the question. “Get back home, maybe.”

There was a small beat of silence, then Hyemi boldly spoke. “Do you… wanna come over to my house then?”

Your heart sank and you didn’t know how you managed to stay quiet.

Bada responded with silence, eyes forward on the road.

“Bada?”

“I’ll think about it,” Bada said firmly, bringing a full stop to the conversation that Hyemi wanted to continue, but she listened to that implicit command from Bada and kept quiet.

First one dropped off was Tatter, the second and third were you and Lusher. You were nearly carrying Lusher at this point, who was way beat and too sleepy to coherently stand on her own. So, Bada hopped off the car to help you carry Lusher. On the way to your dorm room, you both kept quiet – foolishly perhaps, or maybe you both didn’t want to bring anything up with a half-asleep Lusher. Either way, Bada dropped you both to your dorm. Curiously, she looked around after placing Lusher on her bed, smiling at the homely feeling but not telling you a thing. Instead, you both looked at each other, like you both wanted to say far more than you both let on.

But you both bid your goodbyes and the opportunity slipped past your fingers. It drove you crazy looking at her walk away, knowing that she’s going to be with Hyemi for god knows how long. Knowing the history between her and Hyemi…

You could only catastrophize, unwillingly imagine how it was going between them as you stared at the ceiling. Lusher soundly asleep, almost snoring, and you only hoping you could be wrapped around with the warmth of deep slumber.

Until an hour later, you received a text you never thought you’d receive.

[bowsnstrings]

Mikasa and Milana cruised down the highway, the early afternoon sun casting a soft, golden glow over the landscape as they went inland to the city. They’d been talking about this spa day for weeks, a long overdue escape from their hectic lives. The stresses of school, work, family, and all the unnecessary fighting had built up in ways they hadn’t even fully realized until now.

“Do you think they’ll actually be able to fix my back?” Mikasa asked, wincing as she shifted in the passenger seat. The knot in her shoulders had been there for days, maybe weeks, and nothing seemed to help.

“If anyone can, it’s this place,” Milana replied, glancing at her friend as she applied a coat of oil to her puckered lips. “My Grandma swears by it. She says they do more than just massages- they’re practically miracle workers.”

Mikasa chuckled, shaking her head. “Well, I’m up for a miracle. I feel like I’m about to collapse into a pile of bones every time I walk. I can't believe it's been so long since we had a real girls day.” She said, a smile tugging at her lips as she exited, pulling her sunglasses back to see the street ahead.

“I know!” Milana agreed, looking through the window with a content humm. “We both need this. I’m so ready to forget about everything. Just relax.”

Mikasa shot her a side glance, her hands steady on the wheel. “Especially after everything you've been dealing with, right?” Milana’s gaze softened, and she nodded. She appreciated Mikasa’s understanding, how she never pushed her to talk, but also how she was always ready to listen when Milana was ready to share.

The last few days had been better, especially after talking things out with Ony. Milana’s mind briefly wandered back to that evening at the party, but now she could only blush as everything circled back to what happened afterwards. Getting through everything made things so much better between them, and now all they’d been doing was being honest and open with each other while making up for all the hurt. The spa today was his idea too, a way to feel better physically and mentally, convincing her quickly as he kissed her cheek sweetly.

She was happy to take his advice, the car humming steadily as they navigated their way through the sleek, modern district. Tall glass buildings glittered in the fading sunlight, and the streets bustled with the usual evening rush. After a few turns, they arrived at the spa; a contemporary, minimalist space that promised luxury and tranquility, with its large glass windows and welcoming wooden doors. Milana sighed as they stepped out of her friend's vehicle, stretching her arms above her head as her purse dangled over her shoulder.

Inside the building, the air was warm and lightly scented with lavender. The receptionist, a woman with long blonde hair and a soft smile, greeted them immediately. “Welcome! How can we help you today?” Mikasa explained that they had reservations, and she perked up even further. “We’ve been expecting you. Your rooms are ready. Follow me, please.” Milana followed Mikasa through the elegantly decorated hall, with the sound of soft music floating from hidden speakers.

Everything was designed to induce a sense of peace. There were no phones, no distractions, only the promise of relaxation. She felt herself unwinding with every step. As they passed through the last hallway and toward the treatment area, Milana noticed a wooden door at the end of the corridor, slightly ajar. She curiously watched it open, wanting to see if that was the changing area when her eyes met the last person she expected—Sasha.

The two locked eyes, and an awkward silence stretched between them. Milana's throat tightened, the weight of their recent fight still lingering in the back of her mind. Sasha cleared her throat, a half-smile tugging at her lips. “Hey, Milana,” She greeted, her voice soft but unsure. Her brown hair wrapped up in a bun, the robe on her showing that she was here for the spa as well.

Milana forced a smile, trying to suppress the uncomfortable tension rising in her chest. “Oh… hey, Sasha. Didn't expect to see you here.” She tried not to seem like she wasn’t happy to see her friend, of course she was, but things were just a little tense right now.

Sasha shifted, clearly just as unsure about the situation. “Oh… Mikasa said you’d be excited.” Both of them turned towards Mikasa, looking less than impressed at her little scheme as she only shrugged, looking unusually calm for someone who knew about the rift between her two friends.

Milana frowned, trying to process the underlying meaning behind Sasha's words. “So, Mikasa… knew you'd be here?” She asked, her voice a little sharper than she intended.

Sasha shrugged, glancing back at Mikasa. “I guess she’s been keeping an eye on things.” Her tone was neutral, but there was a hint of something else, maybe frustration, maybe a trace of guilt, Milana couldn’t quite tell.

“Right,” She mumbled quietly, the hurt from their last argument still echoing in her chest. She had hoped that things would smooth over by now, but it was clear that the damage had stuck, even if they had made up. Sasha hesitated, her lips parting as if she wanted to say more but wasn’t sure how. They both shifted to Mikasa, who hadn’t moved, but there was an unreadable expression on her face.

“I guess we'll go get relaxed, then.” Mikasa said cheerfully, the tone a lot happier than what either of them would expect. Milana decided to just follow after her, entering the room Sasha came out of as her mind swirled with the thought of what came next.

The door sounded softly as it closed behind them. The familiar, soothing scent of calming essential oils in the air, but it did little to calm the uneasy knot in her stomach. She moved toward an open locker, her mind elsewhere, focused on the discomfort that still lingered between her and Sasha.

As she began to change into her robe, she couldn’t help but replay the events of the past few days. Her fingers fumbled with the fabric as the weight of their disagreement weighed heavy. She hadn’t expected to find herself here, stuck in this awkward limbo with her best friend, not after everything they’d been through.

Sasha had always been the person Milana could talk to about anything. They went through it all together growing up in school, they shared the ups and downs, the fights, and the laughter. But now they were out of step, and all because her friend couldn’t see how good her boyfriend was to her. It felt like a wall had gone up between them, and no matter how much they tried to patch things up, it was still there, making every interaction strained and awkward. Even though neither of them wanted to acknowledge that.

Milana tugged the robe tighter around her body, her eyes unfocused as she looked at her reflection in the locker room mirror, her expression a mix of frustration and confusion. Mikasa was beside her, calmly folding her clothes, unaffected by the tension that had been growing in the air.

“Why didn’t you tell me Sasha was coming?” Milana’s voice was annoyed, though she tried to keep it low, aware of the other guests around them. “I mean, you don’t even agree with her, and you didn’t think I deserved a heads-up?”

Mikasa paused for a moment, her back still turned as she organized her things. She exhaled softly before responding in her usual steady, calm tone. “Because you would’ve acted way more awkward about it, Lana.” She said simply put, not meeting Milana's gaze. “I don’t want to force you into making up, but I think it’s for the best.”

Milana’s eyes narrowed, her hands resting on her hips. “But you knew how weird it would be. I barely made up with her the first time, and now I’m stuck trying to act like everything’s fine when it’s not?”

Mikasa finally turned to face her, her expression unwavering. “I know it’s not easy,” She said, her voice steady but not apologetic. “But if you’re upset with her then talk it out. No more of this, ‘I’ll just hide until the problem is solved’ mentality. No one can fix things for you, Milana. You need to confront it yourself.” She glanced toward the door, her eyes softening just slightly. “I didn’t want to put you in an uncomfortable situation, but now that she’s here, just talk to her.”

The words hit Milana harder than she expected. There was a sting of truth in them, and like always Mikasa wasn’t wrong. She did need to face Sasha, no matter how uncomfortable it was. This wasn’t something anyone else could fix for her, and avoiding it wasn’t an option. “Ugh,” Milana muttered, leaning against the locker. “I guess you’re right, but it still doesn’t make it easier.”

Mikasa gave her a small, encouraging smile. “You’ll be fine. Don’t stress about it, we’re at a spa for God’s sake.” Milana exhaled, feeling a little more grounded now. She wasn’t sure what would come next with Sasha, but Mikasa had made one thing clear: it was her turn to take the step.

If she truly wanted to make things right, it had to come from her, no one else. With a final, lingering look at Mikasa, Milana grabbed her towel, determined to face the next challenge, whatever that might be.

During the mud wraps, the silence between them was deafening. The spa attendants spread the thick, cool sludge over their bodies, massaging it gently as the relaxing music played in the background. Mikasa was lying next to Milana, but every time she glanced at Sasha from two beds over she could see the same careful distance, the same hesitation.

Milana kept her eyes closed, breathing deeply to focus on the calming noises and sensations happening, trying her best to lose herself in the experience. Her mind wandered, thinking of the most random things to stop trying to focus on what she should say to Sasha. Her fingers tapped against the side of the chair and she felt her friends looking towards her, trying to at least enjoy this experience for just a few minutes longer.

When the mud was finally washed away and they were wrapped in soft towels, Milana’s mind was still racing. Sasha’s quiet presence felt like a heavy weight in the room, and she was doing everything in her power to ignore it. But Mikasa was watching, and she wasn’t about to let her friends wallow in her avoidance for much longer.

Milana reached for the treatment plan list left on the side table next to her, reading through some of the things they offered. One particularly caught her eye, especially since she had an obsession with keeping her skin smooth and silky. “Should I get a wax?” She asked aloud, thinking momentarily about how she’d look completely bare.

She had a wax pot at home for her underarms and legs, but usually she shaved downstairs. That hadn’t been done in some weeks though, and she was getting tired of how hard she had to work between her legs. Mikasa had laughed softly, breaking her from her train of thought and smiled at her.

“Do it, your boyfriend might not want anything between him and his meal.” Milana rolled her eyes, pushing her away as Mikasa leaned in, wiggling her tongue at her annoyingly. She told her to shut up, before falling back into silence, noticing Sasha was about to speak up.

She cleared her throat, trying to keep her voice casual. “Do you really think he cares about stuff like that?” Sasha’s voice felt tight, like the words were too big to come out as easily as she wanted.

Milana blinked, the sudden shift in the conversation not lost on her. “What do you mean?” She set the paper aside, now giving Sasha her full attention.

Sasha shifted uncomfortably in her chair, rubbing the back of her neck. She wanted to say something, to explain that she wasn’t trying to be judgmental, but the words kept slipping away. “I just… I don’t know. Is he being superficial about that?” She muttered, looking down at her hands.

“No. He hasn’t even seen me down there to know what’s going on.” She tried to be playful about it like they used to, but it didn’t go with the moment, Sasha just sighing and fiddling with her hair.

“Good that’s good.” It didn’t sound good, not when the words hung in the air, heavier than she had intended. Milana huffed, turning to face her friend, expression filled with hurt and frustration too. The distance between them had only grown since that last argument, and Sasha knew it.

“Look,” She exhaled slowly, her voice calmer than before. “Sasha, I know you’re not a fan of Ony. But I want you to understand… he’s not like that. He’s not gonna hurt me or anything, he just wants to take care of me. I know you probably heard the worst of him when he was running around with Eren, but he’s a good person.” Milana met her gaze, and for a moment, Sasha felt the weight of their unresolved conflict. “I care about him, and I just want you to see that.”

Sasha’s heart squeezed, wanting to believe her friend, really, she did. But there was still a part of her that saw Ony, especially since Connie told her all about him. He grew up in the Graves for crying out loud, the birthplace of thugs, killers, and worse. With his occupation too, it was only making her more fearful. The thought of losing her best friend over this was terrifying, but Sasha didn’t want to sit back and stay silent, either.

“I know you care about him, Milana,” Sasha said, her voice quieter now. “But sometimes I feel like he’s just… he’s not the best for you. I just want you to be happy and safe, you know?”

There it was, the elephant in the room, the thing Sasha had been trying to say for weeks. The thing that had driven a wedge between them. Milana exhaled softly, then stood up and walked over to Sasha. There was no anger in her expression, no defensiveness. Instead, Milana sat down next to her friend, looking her in the eyes.

“I know you’re worried,” Milana said, her voice gentle now. “And I know I’ve been stubborn about this. But, Sasha… I value your opinion more than you know. You’ve always been there for me. I don’t want to lose you over this, and I know I’ve been kind of… pushing you away with all the Ony talk.”

Sasha’s breath caught in her throat, and she had to blink a few times to clear the sudden lump in her throat. “You’re my best friend, Milana,” She whispered truthfully, her emotions getting the better of her. “I just want to make sure you’re not being… hurt.”

Milana’s eyes softened, and she gave Sasha a small, appreciative smile. “I get it, and I hear you. I’ll be mindful of that. But I promise you, I’m happy with Ony. I know he’d never do anything besides keep me safe and happy. I just… I need you to trust me on that.”

Sasha felt the tension in her chest slowly begin to loosen. The fear, the anxiety about losing Milana, started to dissolve with every word. “I trust you, Lana,” She replied, her voice finally steady again. “I just want you to be sure. You’re my best friend. I’ll always have your back.”

Milana reached out and gave Sasha a hug, one that felt like a quiet promise. “And I’ll always have yours,” She whispered right to her, squeezing tight.

Mikasa, who had been sitting quietly through the exchange, finally spoke up with a playful grin. “Okay, okay. Enough emotional bonding for today, ladies. We’re at the spa, remember? Who’s getting a massage, and who’s getting their wax?”

Sasha chuckled, the tension now fully lifted. “I think I’ll stick with the massage,” She said, nudging Milana gently. “But you should definitely go for the wax, Milana, I wanna see how cute it’ll look.”

Milana rolled her eyes but grinned. “In your dreams heifer.” She stuck her tongue out, jumping back when Sasha leaned in trying to give her a kiss in retaliation. “Stop, I liked you better when you were trying to kiss Connie, not me.” That had all of them laughing, enjoying the rest of their relaxing time, at least until an hour later.

Sasha, Milana, and Mikasa all shuffled out of their respective rooms, moving toward different corners of the locker room mirrors, still feeling the after effects of their treatments. Milana was the first to take a peek down her robe, her face flushed and a little sheepish but clearly proud. Her movements slow and deliberate as she walks with an exaggerated waddle, clearly aware of the tender skin beneath.

Mikasa followed suit, adjusting her robe with a mischievous grin. “I swear, with the way we’re walking right now, we look like those women beat our asses.” She joked, glancing over at Milana.

Sasha, releasing the tension of their earlier conversation, couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of the three of them waddling side by side. “Honestly, I never thought I'd be admiring a bare cooch, but here we are.”

Milana shot Sasha a playful glance. “You’re telling me you don’t love this right now?” She teased, raising an eyebrow and turning slightly as if to show off her fresh wax.

Sasha raised her hands in mock surrender. “I’m just glad I didn’t have to go through what you did. I’m still sore just watching you!”

“Well, it's worth it!” Milana exclaimed with a wink. “You have no idea how satisfying it feels to be completely bare. I’m going to glide through the rest of my day… like a dolphin.”

The three of them reached the row of full-length benches near the lounge area, and they all paused to relax after the pain. Sasha turned to Mikasa. "So, Mika, how’s your skin? Feel like a new woman?"

Mikasa looked back down her robe before, snickering at what she saw. “You know what? Not bad. Not bad at all. I might actually enjoy being this smooth, and I think girls will like it too.”

Milana, grinning, sidled up next to Mikasa as she checked out her own reflection. “It’s like I’m a different person. I feel so sleek, you guys.” She gave her skin a little tap, as if admiring the baby-soft texture.

Sasha shot her a playful look. “Yeah, you feel different ‘cause that lady ripped off skin.”

“And cobwebs.” Mikasa added in as they both giggled, leaning into each other.

“Ha, Ha.” Milana mock-scowled, but then couldn’t help bursting out laughing. “Do not start though, I might’ve had cobwebs, but y’all each had about ten pounds of hair to shed.”

Mikasa, always the neutral party, just grinned as she ran a hand over her own skin. “At least we look like a bunch of models now. But seriously, it’s like we’ve all been reborn. Smooth skin, refreshed souls, good vibes. Spa days for the win.”

Sasha scooted back a little, still smiling, wanting to see her other friend too as she spoke. “I’m glad we did this together,” She said, glancing between Milana and Mikasa. “Even if I’ll never go through the pain again, it feels nice to just… enjoy each other’s company.”

Milana turned to her, her expression softening. “Yeah, I’m glad we’re all here, too. I know things have been a little weird with us, but this—today—feels good, right? Just us three. No drama, no stress.”

Sasha nodded, feeling the weight of their earlier conversation but also the warmth of the friendship that had never truly gone away. “Yeah, it feels really good.” The three of them sat there for a moment, admiring their smooth skin in the mirrors, the awkwardness of the past slowly slipping away as they focused on what mattered most, finding ice packs for their coochies.

Ony stepped through the spa’s glass doors, scanning the room for Milana, looking a bit out of place with his imposing figure. People were walking around him, trying to avoid his hardened gaze as he stood waiting. It wasn’t hard to spot her, as she came from a back room, her expression a little more relaxed than it had been earlier. As soon as their eyes met, her face softened into a smile, liting up as a sense of comfort returned to her.

“Hey,” She greeted him with a long hug, her voice light and filled with warmth after all the relaxation she endured. “Thanks for picking me up.”

Ony grinned, his tall frame swaying them slightly, rocking them back and forth as he held her for a moment, his arms wrapping around her in that familiar, loving way. “Hey, beautiful,” He whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. The gentleness of his embrace felt like the perfect antidote to soothe her soreness away.

As he pulled back, his eyes shifted to the two girls standing a little further off, Sasha and Mikasa. He couldn’t help but notice Sasha immediately stiffening at his presence. Her smile was tight, polite, but there was a clear tension in her posture, as though she didn’t know how to act around him after their earlier exchanges.

Milana noticed, too, but she gave Sasha an apologetic look before turning back to Ony. “How was the spa day?” His tone easy as he directed it over to the two, watching them linger awkwardly, exchanging glances.

Sasha’s expression faltered slightly at the sight of Ony, and she shifted on her feet, her usual ease with him slipping into something more uncomfortable. “Uh, hey, Ony,” She coughed out, a little too casually, as though unsure how to act after everything that had happened between them. “It was good.”

Ony noticed the awkwardness immediately, raising an eyebrow. He didn’t mention it, though, just giving Sasha a friendly nod. As he let go of Milana, he leaned down to give her a kiss to her lips, pecking softly, mindful of the fact that she was around her friends before walking towards the reception desk.

“Hey, how much?” He casually pulled out his wallet, his movements smooth and unhurried, and handed the spa receptionist his card.

“For her, just-”

“Nah, sorry. For all three.” That had everyone in the room perking up, especially considering the amount he had to pay to cover their entire day. Milana’s eyes widened in surprise. “Ony, you don’t have to-”

“It’s my pleasure, Ma.” Ony threw her a casual smile, happy seeing the way Sasha was beaming too. “Consider it a small gesture. You’re Milana’s friends, and I’m all for showing appreciation.” His voice had a playful but sincere tone as he glanced at Sasha, his smile not wavering.

Sasha’s awkwardness deepened, but she couldn’t help but smile back at his charm. “You’re sure?” She asked, still a little hesitant. “You know Connie doesn’t mind the extra charge on his card.” That at least got them to laugh things off a little.

“Positive,” Ony replied smoothly. “Just happy you’ve all been there for Milana, and that's worth something.” His eyes softened as he looked at his girl, watching her practically melt at his sweetness. Mikasa, who had been quietly observing, spoke up with a quiet but appreciative smile.

“Well, I can’t turn down a free spa day. That’s really kind of you, Ony.”

“It’s nothing,” He said it with a light shrug, swiping his card with no hesitation. “Glad you guys had fun.”

Sasha, still a bit unsure, relaxed slightly, her tension easing just enough to give Ony a grateful nod. “Well, if you insist… I guess we can’t say no.”

Milana, watching the interaction, felt a surge of gratitude for Ony’s generosity. The tension from earlier seemed to dissipate, replaced by a more comfortable atmosphere, though a sense of unease still lingered just beneath the surface, especially for Sasha.

“You’re amazing,” Milana said quietly to Ony, reaching to grasp his hand, the warmth of his gesture making her feel lighter. He held her back, pulling her into him to sling his arm around her, smiling all teasingly.

“Anything for you,” He replied, sincere with his radiant smile beaming down at her, then he turned back toward the door. “Alright, let’s get out of here. If you smile any wider I’ll start paying for other people’s massages.”

The girls nodded, laughing at his joke as they all waddled slightly behind him. It wasn’t all resolved, but with Ony’s thoughtful gesture, the heavy atmosphere was beginning to shift toward something a little more comfortable. And as they left the spa together, Milana couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief, even if the lingering tension with Sasha hadn’t disappeared completely. At least, for now, they were all in a better place.

More of Milana here 🎀

[greyyson-but-no]

royal screw up

; jake peralta x reader ; heavy topics of infertility, heavy hinting at sexual content but none actually included ; fluff, angst ; 16+

he'd been hinting just a little too much recently. i mean, three years into marriage and a lack of said conversation topic? it made sense he would drop small hints at expanding the family to more than just the two of you.

jake peralta had always wanted kids. one, maybe two - he didn't really mind, he just knew he wanted them. the chance to break the peralta/father curse and to finally have the loving family he grew up without. and it was something you had always wanted to give him, no matter what. you knew of his childhood and the way he grew up, giving him this would mean he could finally have everything he's ever wanted.

children were just something you couldn't give him.

a year into marriage, your mother had brought up the topic of children, and you'd just laughed it off; unsure. she then had furthered onto a rant about how much her and your father had struggled, and that maybe you should get a fertility test before you even thought about having kids, just to avoid any of the struggle they did.

so that's what you did. a week later, you went down to the clinic and did the test. it came back negative. the doctor had told you that while you could always try, it would be a rare case and far too much of a struggle.

somehow, you'd never gotten around to telling jake.

and how, three years into a genuinely successful marriage, he was hinting at wanting something you just couldn't give him. suddenly your perfect paradisiacal life came to a halt.

arguments ensued as a result of your stress, there was a distinct lack of having those intimate moments late at night that you had always had, whether during a rocky time or not, and jake had started to notice.

everything went down in your shared bedroom. he had started by kissing up your neck, hand ever so slightly resting on your thigh, trying secretly to pry the book away from your hands. the lights were dim, it was pitch black outside and normally, you would revel in this opportunity. he was always so sweet about these things, you almost felt bad at how much you didn't want it, but no. jake had spent half of today's investigation, which much to your dismay included the vic's young toddler, aww-ing over the cuteness of the child.

he first suspected something was wrong when you immediately went and found rosa after he pointed out the child. his suspicions were marked as accurate when you pushed him away that evening in bed.

his hand drew back, sitting up slightly. "hey, talk to me, what's the matter?"

"nothing." you mumbled.

at the start of your relationship, there had been a lot of brushing off of feelings and just pushing past it. when that led to massive blow ups of emotions, you both vowed to talk about everything. no matter how little it seemed, you'd bring it up. jake would too. that's how he knew something really was going on.

he shook his head, taking the book from your hand and putting the bookmark in, knowing you hated loosing your page. "we don't do that anymore, babe, please. just tell me what's happening."

you looked down at your hands, fiddling with them atop the duvet, swallowing and finally having to have this conversation. slowly, you turned to him, not being able to look him in the eye, but reading yourself to talk. "you've... uh. you've been hinting a lot recently at wanting children, and-"

"we've never had this conversation before."

"exactly." you nodded, finally making eye contact with him. his eyes were a soft brown, so soft you could almost see the love radiating out of them they may as well be from a cartoon. god, you loved him. "two years ago, it first occurred to me the trouble my mum and dad had with me, so i went and got a fertility test. it, um... it." and now you were getting choked up.

but he was still soft, taking your hand in his. "sweetheart, what are you saying here?"

swallowing again, you looked back up at him, shaking your head with your vision blurred from tears. "jake, i can't give you children."

"oh." oh.

and now you were fully crying, tears slipping down your cheeks as you waved your hands about. "and i know i should have told you before and you want kids so so badly, you want a family, you deserve a family. you want something that i can't give you and i'm so, so sorry."

at the knowledge of your rant-like breakdown, he'd thrown the covers off of him, pulling you into his arms and letting you shake in his care, just as long as you needed. you hadn't even noticed.

"hey, hey, hey." he murmured, pressing a kiss into your hair. "give it a moment, babe. just... let it happen."

once you'd calmed down, he pulled you away from him, finding your eyes and wiping the tears from your cheeks with his thumb, a soft smile curling into the corners of his lips.

"i'm sorry." you stuttered out.

the smile fell from his lips at your words, shaking his head as he mumbled straight back at you. "no, no, none of that, c'mon."

"but you deserve a family, i want to give you a family." your words broke his heart.

he lent forward, pressing his lips against your hairline, pulling back to finally speak. "sweetheart, yes. i do want a family. i would like you to be able to give me a family but hey, if everyone got everything they wanted, we'd all be assholes, right?"

you laughed a little.

he smiled. "we can still have a family, if you're up for it. there's ivf, there's adoption, foster care. we can have our family, even if we don't go through it the... traditional way. it doesn't matter, even if we decided we don't want any of those paths. as long as i'm here, with you, i'll be perfectly fine."

"you're too good to me." you mumbled, smiling faintly at him before letting your head fall against his chest, his arms sliding around to pull you closer. "you're too sweet."

"anything for you, honey."

the both of you were far too tired to finish the conversation that night, so instead, you turned the lamp off, let him wrap his arms around you and the two of you fell asleep in each others arms. it wasn't the end of the world, you realized. jake wasn't going to leave you, you might get the family the two of you deserved, and most importantly, he would stand by you for every second of it, no matter what.

he truly was perfect.

[zenphiaaa]

Fun (Taishiro Toyomitsu)

Shy!Fatgum x Gen!LoveSick!Reader

<> When you first confessed to the big man, he didn't believe you

<> How could someone as pretty and bright as you like him?

<> It took a few tries and many heartfelt conversations for him to even believe you

<> But your still not together for some reason

<> It's not that he doesn't like you back! He's just completely unsure about the whole thing

<> People never liked him or him you know? If someone ever approached him it was due to his hero status

<> Not that he never expected it, but it does something to your self-esteem after so many tries of finding love and to only be left with bitter disappointment

<> So he was cautious about handing his heart over to you

<> It was fine with you however! You knew the man had reservations about being in a romantic relationship much less accepting feeling of another person

<> So while he tried to accept the fact that your feelings were real, you decided that you were going to woo the heck out of the man

<> With a never wavering confidence you pulled out all the tricks and tips that those romance movies have shown you

<> You didn't watch the notebook for nothing you know

<> So you bring lunch, sometimes homemade sometimes it was from that stall down the street. Though Taishiro always looked the happiest when he ate something made from your hands

<> Bringing in protein shakes for him and his sidekicks after a hard day of extra training

<> The first time you brought him flowers he had nearly cried in gradutite

<> Even if he never returns your feelings, you knew the man deserved someone who would treat him good. So you decided to continue on your ways until Taishiro finds someone, even if it's not you

<> As time went on, your confidence slowly started to diminish, while the man didn't show signs of distaste towards your feelings or actions he never voiced his support either

<> You tried to steel yourself in your feelings but at the end of the day, you were only human with a bleeding heart

A quiet sigh escaped your lips as you watched the scene unfold in front of you. You knew that Taishiro was shy around others, especially those of the opposite sex. So how was he able to talk to her like that? Like it was normal? You tried to shove the ugly jealous monster down but it kept peeking its head out the longer the interaction lasted.

While the conversations the two of you had shared were full of childhood stories, and wishes for the future. He never once smiled like that for you. It was almost like the shine in his eyes were brighter and the smile on his eyes streached so wide you could see it in his eyes.

With a small huff you gently placed the bxed lunch down on the counter before turning the other direction and taking your leave. You knew it was petty to leave without saying goodbye but in the moment all you could foucs on was the hurt you felt.

You were almost sure that Taishiro did share your fellings 100% but then again, you weren't together. So who's to say that someone who would be a better fit would come around for the male? As you exited through the final doors of the building, a weight seemed to settle down on your chest. You were already feeling guilty about leaving without saying anything.

At the same time you won't cry in front of a guy again, your heart wouldn't be able to handle that. You did promise yourself that you would be happy for your friend if he did find someone that wasn't you. Unfortunately it seemed like he did, and all you could do was lick your wounds and makeup a stomache flu excuse for your behavior today.

You hoped your heart wouldn't break to much.

[you-call-it-a-dude]

Can You See Me Using Everything To Hold Back?

Request: From 🩷💜 - Leighton is really fucking anxious to come out and it hurt her really bad that Alicia was kinda pressuring her to.

Summary: Reader encounters Leighton after her breakup with Alicia. The two of them already sharing their own...complicated-ish history.

Pairings: Leighton Murray x Female Reader, Leighton x Alicia (I guess??)

Warnings: mentions of coming out, emotions, maybe internalized homophobia if you squint

A/N: hello! So I think I accidentally began creating a full blown storyline/timeline for the Reader x Leighton one shots in my head lol. Also, to the person that requested this story 🩷💜, ily and thank you for this request. I hope it is what you wanted, but if it's not please tell me. I will share the original ask along with what I would like to say if you give me the permission to do so. But I am also okay with keeping that private. But, if this story is not what you were looking for, let me know please

As always, thank you to everyone that takes the time to read any of my work, give feedback, likes, and reblogs. I literally love you all. I hope you enjoy.

---

You were eating lunch outside with a few of your friends when you saw her. A semi-familiar face wheeling a large suitcase behind her and wiping tears from her cheek.

You had met Leighton on a dating app and hooked up at the very beginning of the school year. She was great and you genuinely liked her, but she fully freaked out and then ghosted you when she found out you also went to Essex.

You had only seen her less than a handful of occasions since then and each time she would fully look through you.

You wiped your hands on your pants and excused yourself from your friends, unsure of what even possessed you to get up and talk to her again. It felt like your legs were on autopilot, just fully moving you in her direction.

You jog lightly, catching up to her.

"Leighton, hey." You say softly to avoid scaring her and she looks at you like you've just offended her, honestly.

"Do I know you?" She says, speeding up slightly and you try not to let it bug you too much.

"Well, yeah. I mean, kind of?" You say catching up to her again. "Look, that part doesn't matter. I just wanted to see if you were okay." She stopped abruptly to look at you and it made you stumble over her stupid fucking suitcase.

"Is there something about me just fucking screaming not okay? Huh, Y/N?" Her eyes are bloodshot and still teary, her cheeks red from crying and you had to ignore the urge to reach out and comfort her.

The way she said your name sent a chill down your spine and it confirmed that she does indeed remember you, even if she tried to play it off like she didn't for these last few months.

You debated your answer. You could be rude as fuck, the way she had been to you. Clearly she wasn't having a good day and you also just weren't that type of person. You shake your head and put your hands up in defense.

"Alright, I got it." You say gently, slowly backing away from her.

You stepped out of her way and she continued to walk past you in some sort of hurry to probably get nowhere.

You watched her get pissed when her suitcase hit a bump in the sidewalk that caused her to drop the handle. You watched another girl approach her and talk to her briefly, this person clearly being someone she had some sort of respect for since she managed to drop the attitude long enough to talk to her.

You also watched her turn her head to look back at you. She searched for you until you locked eyes and then she turned quickly, darting away again to do god knows what.

You shake your head in disbelief and return to your friends. They ask you prying questions about who that was and what happened, but from your pillow talk conversation you know she isn't out yet and you don't know if that's changed. You shrug and tell them it was just someone from class and that was too boring for them so they left you alone easily.

---

You were sitting on a stone bench in the courtyard outside of one of the dorms. You were trying to be a good friend honestly, waiting for your roommate to finish hooking up with this guy so you could walk back together. She made you ditch Theta's 'Anything but Clothes' party to do this for her and since it was a concern regarding her safety, you didn't hesitate to say yes. The huge, black garbage bag you threw over your clothes as a lame attempt for an outfit was folded up neatly and tucked under your armpit.

The last thing you were gonna do was waste a trash bag.

It felt like deja vu when you saw her. She was dressed in an outfit made entirely of playing cards and just like before, she was wiping tears from her face.

"Leighton." You whisper-shout, trying to get her attention. You wanted to talk to her, not scare her. Shouting at the top of your lungs in the middle of the night when it's pretty much just the two of you would most likely terrify her.

She still looked up and around absolutely horrified, but you saw her visibly relax when she realized it was just you.

"You scared me." She let out a wet laugh, wiping her face and started walking toward you. "Why are you sitting out here like a creep?"

You smiled at her and pat the spot on the bench next to you, scooting over for her.

"I know, I'm sorry." You say softly. "I tried really hard not to, but I think anyone attempting to get your attention late at night will be scary regardless." She just chuckled and nodded. "My friend is hooking up with a guy in one of these dorms. I'm supposed to walk home with her after." She hummed in acknowledgment. "You really went all out for the party, huh?" You say, looking at her outfit made of playing cards. "Did you make that?"

"I did, actually." She says, looking down at her outfit and smoothing it out.

"You're incredibly talented. That's insane." You smile. "Do you make your own clothes often?"

"Not really, but I like knowing that I can when I want to." She gave a little shrug and sniffled.

"Rough day today?" You spoke carefully, but your tone was soft and compassionate. Her bottom lip quivered and she looked at her feet in an attempt to pull herself together while also nodding. "Wanna talk about it?" She swallowed, hesitating for a moment before talking.

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I wasn't ready to come out. We had a small argument that caused it and I thought maybe that's all it was, just a small argument. I gave her space and I went to see her tonight and she essentially told me she needed to move forward, not back."

"Oh, come on. Are you serious?" She nodded, quickly wiping away the tears as they fell. "That's ridiculous." You shake your head, feeling yourself get frustrated. "Like, ugh, I get it, but also I really fucking don't."

"What do you mean?" She cocks her head to the side, her nose a little red now. A combination of rubbing it and being slightly cold.

"She didn't even give you a chance." You shrug. "There's no timeline to coming out. I understand she didn't want to be shoved back into the closet, but not everyone is afforded the luxury of having a safe space to be out. She had every opportunity to be a safe space for you while you figured yourself out and she chose not to. She most likely knew you weren't out when you got together. If she couldn't handle that, she should've known better than to pursue anything with you. I'm not saying what she did was wrong. If that's what she needed to do, then fine, but you didn't deserve that."

She stared at you with her sad eyes and her bottom lip still quivering and you could tell she was doing her best to keep from crying. You couldn't help yourself, hooking your finger under her chin and letting the pad of your thumb trace over her chin and just under her bottom lip softly.

She closed her eyes and leaned into your touch, trying to control her breathing by forcing herself to breathe through her nose.

"She made me feel so pressured, you know?" Her voice cracked and tears were falling again. This time you wiped them away for her. "She posted a photo of herself with my bag in the background and I got scared. She made me feel ridiculous and irrational for being scared and wanting her to delete it. If I could choose to not feel this way, obviously I fucking would."

"Who is this chick? I really don't like her." You say through a forced laugh. "You have every right to be upset about the break up, but don't let anyone make you feel like you need to come out before you're ready. That's your narrative to control." She nodded, her nostrils flaring slightly.

"I came out to one of my roommates today." She said, a little excitement laced in her tone.

"Yeah?" You smile. "How'd that feel?"

"I like fucking sobbed and it was so embarrassing, but it was also really freeing? She's the first person on campus I came out to. Well, okay, the first straight person." She corrected, gesturing in your direction to signal that you were technically the first. "I'm really sorry about that, by the way."

"No," you shake your head. "You really don't need to apologize. I understand why you did what you did. I'm sorry I didn't include the school on my profile quick enough." You tease, trying to cut tension and she smiles. "Though in my defense, it was literally the first week. Maybe even the first day."

"I think that's a really fair defense." She chuckled and nodded. "Thank you for checking on me today. I'm sorry I was rude to you earlier."

"Leighton," You say again softly. "Stop apologizing."

"Well, being rude when you didn't deserve it is something I definitely need to apologize for." She says firmly.

You narrow your eyes at her and she does it back, the two of you engaging in a staring contest before you finally decide to concede.

"Fine, okay. I accept your apology." You smile, leaning back on the bench.

"Thank you." She smiled triumphantly over the fact that she essentially won this debate between the two of you and you rolled your eyes playfully at her.

You sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments, mostly just people watching as folks started to stumble home from their various parties.

"Can I walk you back to your dorm? It's late and I don't want you walking alone. I'm almost positive I can walk you and get back here in time to walk with my friend." You offer and she shakes her head.

"I'm actually just there." She says, pointing to the dorm next to the one your friend was in. "I really appreciate it though." She smiles before cleaning her throat. She looks around the area before turning her body to face you, her knee pressed into the side of your thigh. "Thank you again for tonight." She says softly, leaning in and pressing a lingering kiss to your cheek. She pulled away slightly before pressing her lips to the corner of your mouth.

She pulled away again, just far enough so she could take a deep breath and she connected your lips. You allowed yourself to get lost in it just for a moment before pulling away. You nudged your nose against hers and you felt her lean in again in an attempt to kiss you again, but you moved your head back slightly. She chuckled, thinking you were just being a tease.

"Do you want to come to my room while you wait for your friend? I think my roommates are all still out." She whispered, pressing a kiss to your jawline.

You wanted to practically jump at the opportunity to spend more time with Leighton, but that exact feeling is why you knew you shouldn't.

She was emotionally vulnerable and she already knew you were a safe person to have sex with. The last thing you wanted to be to her right now, though, was a rebound fuck.

"I should stay and wait for my friend." You whisper politely, pressing your forehead against hers before pulling away reluctantly. She lets out a dramatic sigh. "I know, I'm the worst." You tease and she rolls her eyes. A faint smile forming on her lips that you can tell she's trying to hold back and her cheeks turning the slightest shade of pink.

"I guess I'm not gonna hold it against you for being a good friend."

"I'm touched, really." You say, putting your hand over your heart and she gives you a playful shove. It makes you feel like you're about to fall of this bench and you plant your feet quickly, your reaction making the both of you laugh.

"You sure you'll be okay out here by yourself?" She asks and you feel your phone vibrate. You pull it from your pocket and see your friend sent you a text that she'd be down in five minutes.

"Oh yeah. She's gonna be right down." You flash her your phone screen briefly and she nods, standing up. You can't help but stare up at her, watching her fix her dress and fix some of the cards that have been flipped up by the wind. "I'll watch you and make sure you get in okay."

"My dorm is literally right there." She looks at you a little confused, but you still notice that smile tugging the corner of her lips.

"Hey, you never know what could happen between over here and right there." You point out very seriously, scrunching your nose up at her. She shakes her head and lets out a laugh in disbelief.

"Goodnight, Y/N." She says sweetly, her hand reaching out to push some hair from your face, her thumb brushing over one your eyebrows and you let yourself eyes close for the briefest moment before looking back up at her.

"Sweet dreams, Leighton."

She pulled her hand away from you and started the short walk to her dorm. Just like you promised, you kept her eyes on her the entire time. You watched the way she made an extra effort to sway her hips and, well, you're only human. Of course you checked her out. She pulled her keys and badge from her purse and before she unlocked her door she turned her head to look back at you.

"What?" You said across the courtyard, fighting off a smile. She smirked at you and responded in a tone that could only best be described as flirty.

"Nothing! Just making sure you were watching."

[writingsbymish]

About you from yourself

Pairing: Demetrian Titus x Fem!OC Fandom: Warhammer 40k Warnings: Mentions of death, Poor Titus feeling like a pervert Rating: Teen up Demetrian Titus is unsure how to feel about earning a serf after his services stopping Project Aurora. But as he starts to talk to her, he finds she may be more of a pleasure to have around than a hinderance. My first Warhammer Fanfic, and starting off slow with a bit of a get to know each other type of fic. Also as it is my first time writing Titus, I may not get his character down exactly, so I apologize for that. I wanted to balance him getting to know Tari but still retain his reserved personality.

Titus did not know what to expect when he returned to the Ultramarines 2nd Company. He did not expect redemption, he did not expect Project Aurora, but most of all he did not expect being given a personal serf.

Titus walked through the hallways of the Battle Barge, power armour off and in his robes, making his way to his quarters. He already felt perverted at having to share his quarters with her, but she served the Medica prior to becoming a personal serf, so she is possibly more than familiar with both male and female anatomy, Astartes or no. 

There was nothing wrong with the serf herself- her superiors praised her for her work ethic, politeness, and optimistic attitude. But Titus felt it was unnecessary for him to have a serf working for him. He didn’t need someone to do all his tasks for him. He was capable of doing them on his own. But Captain Acheran insisted that having a serf would be good for him- allow him to focus more on his missions. Titus would have argued that it would leave him with nothing to focus on, but Acheran was still insistent. Titus relented eventually.

He had reached his quarters, and upon the doors being opened, he had found the serf, Katarina, working through some paperwork on her cot on the opposite side of his bed.

Katarina looked up at him, and already her face seemed so striking. Freckles, albeit a bit faint, were scattered across her face, her long red hair tied loosely into two braids that hung over her shoulders. And her eyes. His were a dusty blue, but her blue eyes were much more vibrant in colour. He had encountered few people with eyes as intense as hers, but out of all of them her eyes were the only ones that seemed… inviting, for whatever odd reason.

She gave a polite smile. “Welcome back, Lord Titus. It relieves me to see your mission with Lord Calgar has gone successfully.”

Titus nodded in acknowledgement and went to sit on his bed.

“You seemed to have been busy,” Titus noted. He cringed slightly. Of course she would have been busy while he was gone. If she was bothered by the comment, she was doing a good job of not expressing it. Titus felt relieved.

“I was just attending to your paperwork, but I did do some of my old duties while you were gone. I believe I’d be of more use to you while you are here.” Katarina set down the paperwork next to her and stood up, inspecting Titus up and down. “Do you have any injuries that need attending to?”

Titus shook his head. “None that need immediate attention. Only bruises.”

As if on cue, Katarina took one of his arms in her hands, pushed the sleeve of his robe up his arm and inspected it. Just as he said, there were a few minor bruises. She did the same to his other arm.

“These bruises appears mild at worst,” She muttered, as she pulled his sleeves down. “They should heal on their own, but do inform me if you need ice for them, or if they get worse.”

The two sat in awkward silence for a while afterwards, as Katarina sat down back on her bed, reading through his paperwork once again. Titus was never good at conversation, especially at any that was casual in nature. While the Ultramarines generally treated their serfs as vital assets to their Chapter, he had only ever acknowledged their presence in as polite a manner as he could. Was it even heretical to know personal details about a serf? Throne, he wished he could remember the Codex like his former brother Leandros did.

But the feeling of her hands on his arm. Her hands were soft, her touch was gentle, and it seemed to linger even as her hand pulled away. A part of him almost missed the sensation. 

“You seemed to have accomplished a lot.”

Titus turned his head toward Katarina, who looked at him with a look of curiosity. “Hm?”

“Your studs.” She pointed at his head. “They are awarded when you accomplish a great deed in the Emperor’s name, yes?”

Titus nodded slowly. “They are.”

“I’m curious as to what you achieved those studs from.”

“You…” He paused for a moment, unbelieving of what he was hearing. “You know I am?”

“A little,” Katarina responded. “Aside from what you have accomplished recently, I assisted in your Rubicon surgery when the company brought you here, and overheard the Captain speaking to my uncle about you.”

Titus furrowed his brow in curiosity. “You have family on the Battle Barge?”

“Not biological. My uncle raised me on the Battle Barge along with his sister, my aunt. Both were good friends with my parents before they passed away.”

Titus frowned. “My condolences, healer.”

Katarina shook her head. “I hardly remember them. It is not a sore subject for me. My earliest memories were me walking around the Barge with both my uncle and aunt trying to keep me away from all of the hazardous machinery. Said that it would displease the Omnissiah.” 

She let out a giggle, and a warm feeling began to bubble inside of Titus. He quickly dismissed it.

“My uncle Jacobus is one of the Lord Apothecaries,” Katarina continued. “You should see him occasionally, especially for check ups since your surgery. As for my aunt Annike, well…”

Katarina’s face dropped, and she went silent. Titus would have sworn to the emperor he saw tears well up in her eyes; he could smell the scent of the salty water. Her bringing a hand to wipe her eyes did little to disprove it. 

The face of grief. He knew it all too well, especially as an Astartes. He had outlived his parents, mentors, too many of his battle brothers to count, Mira. It was the price of serving in the Space Marines, of dedicating his life to the Emperor.

He hadn’t realised one of his hands had been outstretched until it appeared into view. He did not know what he was attempting to do. Console her?

This was inappropriate, Titus thought as he lowered his hand.

Eventually, Katarina blinked, and smiled once more. “Enough about me. I would like to know of some of your accomplishments sometime, if you would not mind telling me. I know what the people on the Barge whisper about you, but I want to know about you from yourself.”

A smile so small you would have to look closely to see it tugged at Titus’s lips. Katarina’s superiors seem to be justified in their acclaim of her.

“I shall, healer.”

Katarina’s eyes widened, her mouth forming into an O shape.

“Before I forget, My Lord, you may address me as Tari, if you’d like. That is what my friends among the Chapter Serfs refer to me as. Katarina is merely for formalities sake.”

Perhaps he would enjoy having her around after all.

“As you wish, Tari.”

[sage-nebula]

Liko is honestly such a fantastic protagonist, and I'm so glad they chose her as the primary protagonist for Horizons. Not only was she a breath of fresh air in how different she is from the previous anime's protagonist, but we truly got to watch her change and grow as the episodes progressed.

Liko started out anxious, insecure, and completely unsure about what she wanted to do with her life. She was too nervous to talk to others even when she knew she shared an interest with them, and her self-esteem and confidence were low enough that she was convinced she was no one special.

But as the episodes went on, we saw her gain confidence in herself, both as a trainer and as an interesting person worthy of friendships with the people around her. She went from being too shy to talk with other Nidothing fans on the bus to going out of her way to talk to and spend time with Dot in the wild area. She went from being willing to surrender her pendant to stop Friede and Amethio battling because the violence frightened her to taking on 50% Zygarde without a trace of fear. She has grown so much, but so steadily that none of it felt like an unnatural progression. She's just such a wonderful protagonist and I truly adore her.