#welp it will be okay i do study better there because there's literally nothing else to do lol

[girlivealwaysbean]

man i love living in my own home

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Shakespearean mc here- what are your thoughts on the different plays? Specifically twelfth night and midsummers night dream since you mentioned characters from those plays plus Macbeth (I’m studying that one in school)

*Cracks knuckles and takes a long, deep breath.* 

Fam I have written entire essays about this for my courses. I have done presentations and powerpoints, not to mention monologues. I have filled journals. You know not what sort of floodgate that you’ve opened. The doorway to my dorkish heart. 

Twelfth Night is my favorite comedy and it was actually the first one I ever saw. The premise behind the show is a farce-like situation, it’s literally one big joke. Viola has a crush, so in order to woo him, she dresses up as a man and goes off to try and convince another woman to date him. Y’know, as you do. But then here’s the kicker - his crush falls in love with the male disguise! I know it’s probably something we all just kind of accept as normal Shakespearian humor at this point, but you must understand how hard Tiny Brandon was laughing when he first saw this, especially since Olivia was played by a friend of mine. (Well I say “friend,” she was a drama coach, but I considered her a friend, so there.) Viola holds a special place in my heart, for being the first protagonist I saw, and I friggin love how she puts it all together immediately and her reaction is just, “I wonder how badly this will all go wrong by the end. Welp! No turning back now!” She’s literally such a mood, and I’m so glad to see her reunited with Sebastion by the end. Speaking of him, I like how he just kind of stumbles upon the plot and passively accepts it. Oliva throws herself at him, and he just accepts. I’ve seen this played multiple ways. In the first production I saw, the guy was bewildered and just kind of went along with it like “Uh...okay?” But later on, I saw a version where my good friend was playing him, and he made me laugh so hard, because he played it like “This total babe wants to marry me. I have no idea why or who she is, but she does NOT need to ask twice.” Also this has nothing to do with anything, but between Oliva falling for “Sezario” and Orsino continuing to treat Viola as a man until they’re married...yeah, this play had characters who were LBGT and didn’t know it. Them’s just the facts. Anyway, I love this little squad, I’d watch a sitcom about them for sure. Oh who am I kidding, the real comedy of this show, the elephant in the room...is Malvolio, and his whole storyline. What a role, and I want it. I wish to play Malvolio before I die. I wish to see fanfiction about him getting revenge on the whole pack of them. I cannot read the cross-gartered scene without laughing. He’s...he’s Percy. He’s literally Percy, right down to how he’s the punch line of the joke, and it’s treated as okay because he’s just that annoying...but y’know I don’t really mind? Like sure, he was wronged. He was most notoriously abused. But it was funny! 

Midsummers is a show that I basically know by the back of my hand by now. It’s one of the classics, it’s like Romeo and Juliet in the sense that it’s one of the shows that everyone had heard of, everyone knows on a basic level even if they hate Shakespare or know little to nothing about his work. And I used to joke that this show was following me. Because everyone was putting it on, and no matter where I went, what company I worked with...inevitably, that show would crop up. If I had any dancing ability or movement training that I hadn’t all but forgotten by now, I would love to play Puck. The ultimate trickster, the ultimate troll. He’s the best. Another classic and cliche plot of course, but that’s because it’s iconic at this point. Like a blend between a soap opera and a farce this time, everything that happens between the four humans in the woods. I love how it’s just canon that Hermia is short, and angry about this. I like how Lysander is kinda witty, “You have her father’s love, Demetrius. Would you marry him?” and y’know, he’s not a bad guy. He does try to get into Hermia’s pants before the wedding, but he backs down when she says no. Demetrius though? He’s a dirtbag. I mean, he’s not as bad as Proteus from Two Gents...but like...are we just never gonna talk about how his love for Helena was artificially induced...and that’s the happy ending? And none of the humans will ever know it? Oh well. There’s also the rivalry between Oberon and Titania, and I always love watching them onstage. They really feel like two deities waging a war, or “playing a game” with each other, with mortals caught in the crosshairs. I believe this romance, I ship it. Titania is a character that I always have high standards for. I expect an amazing performance from her, especially after seeing what my friend Chrissy put in the role. (I doubt you will ever see this, Chrissy, but if you do - shoutout!) Then there's the whole subplot about Pyramus and Thisbe. It’s a little awkward that the production is put on after the whole resolution with the four humans, but I guess it makes sense in-universe. And who cares - it’s always, always the funniest part of that whole show. I look forward to it every time. “This dog. My dog.” 

Don’t get me started on Macbeth. This is my favorite Tragedy and probably my favorite Shakespeare show overall. But it’s not just a Tragedy, it’s a Horror, the very best kind of Horror. A story where the audience is betrayed. The hero that was talked up, named in the show’s title, and introduced as a good man...he does a terrible thing, and it all spirals from there. Leaving the audience stranded, unsure if they’re supposed to still root for him. Not to mention how well this play dives into the psychology of murder. How it changes a person forever, once they’ve done something like that and have to live with it. Macbeth was an ordinary man. He didn’t want to kill Duncan for any personal reason or grudge, it was just because of the obvious reason: Power. He wanted the throne. Sure, every man wants to be king, but once the Witches made it seen attainable, once Lady Macbeth painted that picture in his mind...he made his choice. And it’s so important that he’s ordinary because anyone could fall into that kind of trap. Not to get dark for a second but like...a lot of us have people in our lives who we would probably be better off if they weren’t around. And we probably have at least one person who we could kill and probably get away with it. The monster in the back of the human mind. That is what Macbeth is all about. I know the “Out, damn spot” scene is iconic, but it really demonstrates how different people would respond to trauma in different ways. Then there’s Banquo, who basically figures out the truth but can do nothing about it other than wait for Macbeth to realize he’s a loose end. The mystery of the “third” murderer...and I’ve written essays about who that might have been, too. The hubris of Macbeth not to realize how the witches words could be twisted. I also grew so, so attached to Macduff. The poor guy lost everything, and he was the one who spearheaded the rebellion, and ultimately killed Macbeth. Reading it as a kid, not understanding the line of succession, I remember being so annoyed that he wasn’t made King at the end, because he totally deserved it. Also, as someone else who was, “from my mother’s womb, untimely ripped” I consider Macduff a kindred spirit. 

[beckinblack61]

Welp.

How ironic that after hoping to write daily, I forget to post the day after starting. Oh well. Was this a lofty, stupid idea? Yes, highly likely. Am I considering deleting my account after no more than 5 days since making it? Possibly. Will I? Probably not.

So, may this post make up for my missing yesterday’s.

Today’s Topic: Careers?

At one point in time, as we all are when young, I had everything planned out. I knew that it was my goal to attend an Ivy League school and become a certified public accountant. And then, I wanted to be an astrophysicist immediately after reading Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s Astrophysics for People in a Hurry. That was all in either 7th or 8th grade, during lovely middle school, just before heading off to high school, where everyone thought we would suddenly become confident, cool, and sure-footed, and set out on our individual destinies.

Then high school came along and through wrenches into all of those plans. I’m a current senior who is graduating in only a few months. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve panicked over the thought of having to choose a career, a major, or area of study. The question of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” suddenly became real and terrifying. For a while I thought about pursuing a career in art. Then my lack of any art skills and confidence proved that unlikely. I’ve thought about a career in writing, although similarly that idea is completely out of the window now.

For a little while, between a month or a year, it really felt like I had no purpose, no place in life where I fit confidently and successfully. I felt like college would be a total waste and that the idea of a “career” simply didn’t fit me. Frankly, I felt like a failure. I believed I hit my peak early in high school or even middle school as the student with straight A’s who was on every teacher’s good side. I was that kid who was called “gifted” early on and doomed to then only live to fulfill other’s expectations of me. Straight A’s became a standard, not anything great but just what was expected from me, and anything less, even a B+, meant I was suddenly “giving up” in my mother’s eyes. If I wasn’t outperforming the majority of my classmates, I was nothing. I’ve panicked a handful of times to the point of breaking over lack-luster grades. And me, being extremely unathletic, introverted, unsocial, and quiet, was defined only by my grades, by my academic success. I had nothing else to my name.

I realized this, and I felt lost. Throughout my life I’ve been told that I would be great at whatever I tried to be, by a lot of people. But, whenever I tried to picture myself in a career or at a job, I was never, ever, confident in myself, and I hardly ever felt passionate about the idea of a specific career path. Again, as I’ve said, I really felt like I had peaked early and was only on a path headed downhill from then on.

Thankfully, quite recently, I’ve seemed to have broken out of those destructive mindsets, and am doing a lot better mentally than I have been in the past few years. I couldn’t really tell you what changed, but a few things somewhat come to mind. 

As of recent, I’ve become a lot more confident with my gender identity and sexuality, albeit I’m not out of the closet yet. I think not understanding that before added to the stress of picturing myself at a career, especially since now I know, somewhat, who I picture myself as in the future. If I pictured a feminine girl at a career, of course I would feel uninspired by it, regardless of the career but because of the person I thought I had to be, since I now know I’m not meant to be a feminine girl.

Also, I’ve become for comfortable with the idea of failure. Of course, I don’t want to fail or anything like that, but I’m okay if I do. It’s only human to at some point or another, if not even frequently.

This ties into the previous two I feel like, but I’ve become ready to learn about myself. I used to think I had to already know who I was, what I wanted to be, what I was destined for, before even becoming it, if that makes sense. Now I know that I have to try something before knowing if I’ll like it or not, at least in most cases. I’m open to discovering if a career fits or not through trial and error, no matter how long it takes.

Somewhat similarly, I’m okay if what I want to do or become isn’t who I’ve been. It’s okay to change, no matter how drastically. It’s okay to realize that you’ve become uninterested with something you used to love, and realize that you love the idea of pursuing something else.

So, let me tell you of my current ideas/plans, and maybe later down the line we can see how accurate I was. Currently, I plan on attending a public university (so not an ivy league.) I think I want to major in English and possibly minor in Creative Writing. I feel like I’ve settled on the idea of pursuing a career in the publishing and printing field of books. Either a publisher’s assistant, a copy editor, or someone who helps literally print and manufacture books, I’m not sure, but they all sound appealing. I know I love books, but that can be a topic for another day. I could go on and on about my relationship with them.

What’s ironic about this is that my school currently offers a class in which you learn about publishing, printing, binding books, and everything about printing presses, among other things. And, I missed the opportunity of taking this in-hindsight-perfect course because I chose a different program where I learn about digital media, how to build webpages, write code, use Photoshop, Illustrator, and other Adobe software, learn how to animate, etc. Albeit, these will no doubt be useful in some cases with my current idea of a career path, as the two programs greatly overlap in some areas, so it’s not a huge waste of time, and I do enjoy what I’m learning, but the fact of the matter is is that with what I’m currently studying I “should” pursue a different career path, but I’m okay with the fact I have interests elsewhere.

Am I disappointing my parents by attending a public university? Funnily enough, no. My mother is extremely glad that I want to go to a somewhat local college, which a few of my relatives currently attend, making her even more comfortable with it, and she would never have let me go states away to Yale, Harvard, or the like anyways, which is a whole other issue that I will save for another day.

And with that, I bid you adieu. May we see if my current plans come true or change overnight, which is always a possibility.

Best regards,

              Briar

Sunday, November 15, 2020, 10:12 AM

P.S.

In hindsight, I realize I’ve technically not missed a day of writing, as I ended my last writing after the hours ticked past midnight, leading to the start of a new day from when I initially commenced writing. How charming is that.

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 7: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: What Transformers would you want to see on Nailed It?

O: Uh, Thundercracker and-

Together: Skywarp

O: And then, of course, they're like what the fuck do we do with money?

[Intro music]

O: Hello and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon! I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs!

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 7, Fire in the Sky. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yep!

O: So last time on the Transformers: Optimus nearly dies, again.

S: Again.

O:  Again. Chip goes to Cybertron and shows surprising resistance to acid rain, unlike the robots and Shockwave can't hit shit.

S: There may or may not have been dancing involved.

O: Indeed.

S: [Laughter]

O: Regardless, back at the Ark, it's snowing!

S: The robots appear to be having fun with Spike.

O: And then Jazz was pretending to be a snowman to surprise Spike.

S: Oh god, did the other Autobots just go and dump snow on him? [Laughter] But oh god, yeah, Jazz continues to prove to be delightful.  How long was he standing like that? Do you think he had the other Autobots, ah,  put all that snow on him?

O: God, I hope so! [Laughter]

S: Then a snowball fight breaks out, Jazz gets buried in the snow again. It's snow fair!

O: Be afraid! The snow puns are here!

S: So many snow puns.

O: Anyway Bumblebee almost kills Spike with a freakin’ snow boulder!

S: And somehow this cumulates- that feels like a weird snow pun.

O: [Laughter] Cumulus, if you will.

S: Yes, with Spike rolling down a hill, um, into more of a ball and consuming three Autobots in rolling snowy terror.

O: They’re all fine after this! Including Spike who was in this, like, boulder sized snowball thing and hit three robots!

S: How the hell didn't he get splatted? Also there's cactuses and a palm tree involved, in Oregon.

O: Now, ladies and gentlemen, coming to you from the Pacific Northwest there are not cacti and palm trees here, ok?

S: Especially since that area would be, um, like it would be at least semi-arid but it- yeah, no, cacti.

O: There would be no cacti.

S: No palm trees.

O: Meanwhile, Optimus Prime investigates the weird-ass weather. Apparently all the heat from the Earth's core is being drained.

S: I guess the people of Alaska and Russia are are just, um, dead.

O: Yeah, they, like, say it dropped by X number of degrees, and we’re like, oh boy, everybody must be dead. Cool. Anyway, you’ll be surprised who's behind this nefarious plot.

S: Anyway in the Arctic, green crystals erupt from the ground and somehow the Decepticons are draining the heat from the Earth's core by draining this crystal thing?

O: No, we don't get it either, but that's what they're doing. Uh, so we the cut to Rumble who's pounding through ice and somehow causes an underground avalanche sort of thing?

S: Sort of. Maybe. I don't know. And afterwards Skywarp and Rumble come across a dead body. [Laughter]

O: Well they nearly dead, anyway.

S: Apparently this is just a giant, freaking robot.

O: Like, bigger than Megatron or Optimus! That much bigger. So Megatron is delighted by this find because he's like, “I have more cannon fodder to toss at the Autobots!”

S: And Teletraan 1 is able to pinpoint the Decepticons’ activity in the Arctic except it's like they're panning over and panning over and they completely bypass the freaking green rock and then it's like, “Hey! Go back to that thing!”

O: [Laughter] Wait, that might have been important!

S: Yeah, and so the Autobots roll out!

O: Ratchet apparently catches up later since he's not seen leaving the Ark with everyone else, and I believe this also happens with a few other characters, um.

S: I don't remember who.

O: It's- god, it's not Huffer.

S: Hound?

O: No, no my brains going Wheelie--

S: [Laughter}

O:  --and he doesn’t show up till the movie

S: Cliffjumper?

O: No! No, no, no, uh. He's annoying, he's a jerk. Gears! I want to say like Gears and Bumblebee also maybe don't show up and I don't remember. I just know like a bunch of Autobots that you don't see leaving also show up in the Arctic with them.

S:  I don't remember who was there at all, but I guess Ratchet decided to hussle his hoofies [Laughter]

O: [Laughter] Apparently.

S: And back with our favorite energy stealing bastards! The new Transformer is being repaired by the Seekers and Soundwave, with Megatron supervising because apparently he just likes doing that.

O:  Elsewhere in the multiverse IDW Megs, act-actually a goddamn medic and Captain of the Lost Light has a conniption about his useless G1 counterpart. Also our bad, it's Soundwave and all the Seekers doing the repairing here, not just Soundwave and Starscream. So apparently robots have a concept of freshness as Thundercracker comments on how being on ice kept it fresh. While, they continue to repair the big guy.

S: Do- do they like their Energon fresh? Or can they have, like, fine vintage aged Energon?

O: No clue, but apparently Starscream knows this guy and I swear to god--Megs is giving Starscream a look that's like, “What do you mean this is your ex?”

S: Anyway, big guy's name is Skyfire and he's a scientist.

O: Which we’ll see more shortly but uh so while working on Skyfire, Soundwave spins his arm into like an energy projectile cannon that's apparently their version of a freaking defibrillator.

S: I don't think we ever see it again.

O:  it looks really weird!

S: It just spins into existence. Why? Meanwhile, Starscream explains that himself and Skyfire were scientists that were exploring earth millions and millions of years ago and Skyfire got lost in the storm because-

O: So--this is the most concern we ever see from Starscream for anyone other than himself like EVER.

S: Yeah.

O: But about this flashback. So a couple of things, um, we see Skyfire and Starscream flying in space. This means their jet forms are spaceworthy, apparently. What.

S: Well, I mean, we later see Starscream flying in space with Shockwave riding him at some point.

O: Oh god.

S: Like he just picks up Shockwave off a freaking a meteor or something? If I’m remembering properly.

O: I don't even. Um, Starscream should be a pyramid jet here because the flashback takes place way before the start of the series but he’s still an earth jet, like millions of millions of years before jets existed.

S: He wanted to be fashionable in this flashback.

O: Apparently. It was edited! He edited the flashback.  Uh, so the continents that we see on Earth should not look like this they look like modern-day Earth and maybe they wouldn't be like full-on Pangaea as one mass but they definitely shouldn't be in their modern-day configurations.

S: Yeah, and also it's super weird because this is playing from Skyfire’s of memory thingy in his head? But everything is in third person and Skyfire is visible in all the shots.

O: So does he have a camera crew following him around, you think?

S: Maybe? I mean shoot maybe at one point he had a stupid little drone that followed them around like IDW Jetfire and it just gave him footage, I don’t know.

O: Okay, he is definitely Starscream’s ex, this poor guy is way too happy to see Screamer when he wakes up.

S: And Megatron basically says, “Welp, you're a Decepticon now. Don't suck at it!”

O: Or, you know, you're gonna die. Skyfire is kind of hesitant to fight because he's a scientist and not a warrior

S: Like, he wants to study stuff, not kill shit. And later Starscream tells Skyfire that, “He, Starscream, would be in command of the Decepticons,” eventually and then Skyfire will be Second-in-command.

O: Oh boy, oh boy. Eh, Skyfire doesn't really get what's going on right now because he's been out of commission for like a zillion years but he's trying real hard.

S: Poor dude but yeah.

O:  So the Autobots show up and Skyfire, thinking they’re enemies, fires on them, because he's been told they're bad guys.

S: He is obedient, I guess. And a fight breaks out basically ending in Skyfire accidentally kidnapping Spike and Sparkplug for their own good after they basically get marooned on a little ice flow.

O: He’s legitimately like, “Oh no! Why are you guys scared, you’ve got nothing to fear, we’re the good guys.”

S: Cuz, he’s like, “Yeah, I'm not gonna hurt you!”

O: Yeah-

S: It's not gonna work out, buddy. Naturally, he brings them to Megatron and Starscream.

O: This goes about as well as you'd expect.

S: Like a lead balloon [sound effect] straight down.

O: So both humans have been tossed in an ice cage.

S: That's not gonna end well for anybody.

O: No. Hypothermia will be your gift.

S: Starscream and Megatron chastise Skyfire for being nice to the flesh creatures.

O: Skyfire has known these guys for all of five seconds and he calls them his friends. Please, please, someone give this robot a hug? This guy deserves a hug!

S: He deserves so much more than he so much better than, well, what he gets from the Decepticons or the Autobots.

O: For that matter! Uh,. but Skyfire’s, like, I’m a scientist, not a warrior!

S: Oh my god, he literally channels Bones from Star Trek.

O: Kind of! The Autobots falling behind in an attempt to save their favorite squishies.

S: And thus begins the wonder of Optimus Prime's inconsistently disappearing trailer. Outside the cave, no trailer. Inside the cave, you got a trailer.

O: And that'll happen multiple times. Anyway, Gears stops, like dumbass, causing Ironhide, Hound, Ratchet, and Gears to fall through ice.

S: Into the nice little ice hole.

O: Apparently. Back to Optimus! Because we're gonna be swapping between three goddamn groups- three or four goddamn groups of people here. I'm not even exaggerating- back to Optimus, Bee, Jazz and Cliffjumper. Optimus’ trailer disappears again and they hear Spike and Sparkplug crying out for help.

S: And Bumblebee totally looks like he's levitating in this shot, I don't remember if it's because he's sort of in front of something that should be- be-

O:  In the foreground?

S: Yeah, yeah, I think that's it. Cliffjumper blasts the humans out of the cage, “Lucky for you my laser has a defrost cycle.” Why?

O: Please, name one other time in which that function was actually useful there Cliffjumper.

S:  I mean that would be useful for defrosting himself when he's outside in the winter but I mean you never see him use it again.

O: You see! Does Cybertron have ice? Why would he even have this!?!

S:  Well, considering that their planet doesn't revolve around a star and it's flying through space it's probably super friggin cold, but I don't know if-

O: Does that matter to them?

S: I don't remember, I feel like, well, in Prime it definitely matters.

O: Oh, yeah but it has to be like sub-zero temperatures.

S: And it matters in Rescue Bots, not sure about here. It doesn't appear to matter here soooo.

O: Prime and Rescue Bots are in the same continuity, though. So, Hound, Ratchet, Ironhide, and Gears spy on the Decepticons stealing heat from the Earth's core. They're promptly seen by Megatron because they're all terrible at hiding.

S: They’re super bad at it, god. Soundwave releases Ravage to scout for any additional Autobots.

O: Back with Optimus Prime because, again, we're swapping, oh, we're swapping so quickly here, folks.

S: Perspectives, point of views, who gives a damn.

O: The- this show- it can't focus. Anyway back with Optimus and the others, Jazz is using the unit of time astro-minutes.

S: At least he's not counting in astro-seconds?

O: Okay, but seriously if you want a good laugh go check out the TFWiki for units of time (we’ll link to it in the show notes). I swear so many of these units are just ??? on like what their actual real world measurement equivalent is. Like, even the fans don't know how long an orn or an astro-minute is and this is hilarious to me.

S:  Cuz the fandom’s been around for thirty years and, well, not necessarily fandom, but canon continuities keep coming up with stupid things to add and then not necessarily defining them.

O: Or it’s different between different continuities?

S: Yeah, Cliffjumper runs ahead like a dumbass

O: Again.

S: [Laughter] And is promptly tackled to the ground by Ravage and they escape having trapped Ravage “cold.”

O: Aaaaaah! Why do you guys do this to me?!

S: Cause they love fuckin puns- [Laughter] Cause they fucking love puns!

O: Anyway, they do this by burying him under ice and snow. Um, meanwhile Ratchet and the rest have been lined up firing squad style?

S: They- they don't even get any last requests.

O: This just in, the Decepticons are assholes!

S: Not like we're surprised, I mean.

O: Yeah, no, I mean they're all assholes.

S; Yeah. Skyfire’s like, “'I’m a scientist, not an executioner!” and this pisses off Starscream who shoots him.

O: Starscream then shoots the Autobots, causing them to explode and walks off without checking the fucking bodies.

S: That's not- you’re- You’re Megatron’s second-in-command, you should know better.

O: You should be more competent than this, bud. But anyway, surprise Hound hologram shenanigans.

S: Ho-lo-gram.

O: Hologram shenanigans.

S: So the Autobots are fine! But Skyfire’s not in good shape.

O: And then all the Autobots regroup and Ratchet attempts to save Skyfire and meanwhile Laserbeak is spying on the Autobots while they work

S: And we cut to Megatron who's holding an Energon cube and is gazing at an admiringly, like he's totally admiring his ill-gotten gains.

O: Are we sure he's not just staring at Starscream’s ass through that!?! I'm telling you he's just staring at Starscream’s ass!

S: He's admiring Starscream's lustrous finish [Laughter]

O: Anyway, he receives the transmission from Laserbeak about the Autobot activity and then promptly beans Starscream in the head with the Energon cube.

S: Starscream was clearly posing like a model when Megatron hits him so, I guess your theory regarding--

O: Staring at his ass.

S: I guess-

O: He Just wants to be pretty! And he wants his spouse to notice him, ok? “You disgust me!” exclaims Megatron as he yells at Starscream for not killing the Autobots like he freaking said he did!

S: And then the Seekers attack the Autobots I guess by strafing them, I don't know, while Ratchet continues to work on Skyfire

O: And this part cracks me up because the size difference between Skyfire and Ratchet- it looks like a toddler operating on an adult. Like, that is how much bigger Skyfire is been the rest of them.

S: Oh god, it would be even more pronounced if Ratchet was a minibot.

O: Oh my god! [Laughter] That’s a thought.

S: Yeah, yeah, and Optimus’ trailer appears out of nowhere because guess who gets to show up today! It’s Roller! To shoot at the Seekers. Yeah, and Roller shoots Skywarp in the butt, who thenrear-ends Thundercracker sending them both nose-first into the ocean.

O: Which basically puts them out of commission for the rest of the fight. I have to ask, ya think Megatron would, you know, send out  the cassettes here.  Who we have established are here! Rumble can fight, they’re on ice, it’s not like they couldn't break up the ground and send the Autobots into the water! We all know Optimus Prime cannot fucking swim.

S: Yeah, we've already seen that.

O: We'll see it again, actually, next episode where the Autobots cannot fucking swim.

S: [Laughter] Oh god, yeah, Megatron and Optimus fight with green crystal shards- got some amazing photos from this.

O: [Laughter] Which we will also post.  But, these silly crystal sound effects are clearly just two pipes being banged together here.

S: Bang, bang, bang, or bong or whatever, I don't think they used bong, they couldn't get bells or wind chimes or something?

O: Yeah, to make it sound kind of tinkly--no, it just sounds like you're banging two pipes together!

S: And Optimus grapples Megatron, lifting him up into the air and Megatron then rotates his lower body 180 degrees and lands behind Optimus, knocking him down. It's kind of amazing, honestly.

O: You’d think they do stuff like this more often since they’re, you know, robots--but they don’t.

S: I mean, if they actually made use of their whole, “Hey, we rotate to transform here.”

O: Yeah, like, cuz a lot of them do.

S: Yeah, uh, so while on his back cuz Optimus is knocked to the ground, he starts spinning his wrist really, really quickly? And makes- he- like a helicopter hand? That he just uses to toss Megatron behind him into an ice wall?

S: He's, like, spinning him on- it's like, he's still holding the weird crystal sword-

O: Yeah!

S: -Thingy and like, it spins and then sort of- Megatron’s- he's not levitated on it, but-

O: He, like, picks Megatron up with it?

S: It’s weird.

O: It's bizarre.

S: Yeah, it’s bizarre, but it got some really funny screencaps

O: Yeah.

S: Yeah, really funny photos.

O: It was pretty funny looking.

S: Yeah, cuz, I was doing that janky thing where I just photos of your TV.

O: If you’re curious why our screenshots look the way they do, it’s because we’re taking literal pictures of my TV, mostly because we think it actually looks funnier than trying to screen cap them off the computer.

S: Yeah, it's got more- it's got more character.

O: More character. Look, we can't- we can't make it look as bad as the 80s, but we can certainly make it look worse. Okay, so Megaton orders Skyfire to kill the Autobots because Skyfire’s up  and about again Skyfire then promptly rips off his Decepticon symbol and pulls an Autobot badge out of fucking nowhere and just, like, sticks it on his chest. Where did he even get that? How do he even get that? Did Ratchet hand it to him after repairing him? Does Ratchet carry spares!?!

S: And why did his Decepticon symbol act like cloth?

O: Yeah, or a sticker or something? Like, what is it made out of?

S: Do they just carry, you know, do Decepticons just just carry stickers or symbols just to give people cuz...

O: Yeah, like, do both sides do this? They can’t- we don't see people swap like sides very often so this seems very strange, if they, like, carry around stickers.

S:  I mean, I guess, if we wanted, you know, some comparison we could look and see what Octane does cuz I think he changes sides, but that's neither here nor there let's get back to this.

O: [Laughter]

S: And Skyfire tosses Megs off into the distance- I don't actually remember this, so I don’t remember how impressive it is.

O: [Laughter] Skyfire does a lot of tossing over the next couple of minutes. Reflector also attempts to attack, as like a weird mobile robot pyramid, like there's two of them on the bottom carrying the other one. They also promptly get tossed.

S: Starscream attacks from the air, Skyfire takes off to follow him.

O: Starscream, the most treacherous second in command in existence, tells Skyfire he'll pay first treachery and I just have one thing to say, “Pot meet Kettle!”

S: [Laughter] Except Skyfire’s, like-

O: Not an asshole!

S: He also didn't exactly get a fair, you know, read in on this. It was basically, “Hey, you're my property now, here's a sticker.”

O: Well, yeah. Starscream just has no room to talk. At all!

S: Well yeah, considering that he keeps trying to take over the Decepticons kill and Megatron

O: Yeah.

S: Yeah. Skyfire knocks Starscream out of the air but not without damaging himself, I guess Ratchet- Ratchet didn't do much in the way of fixing him, cuz I guess he doesn't have much in the way of spare parts. Not a lot of junk in his trunk. [Laughter]

O: [over laughter] Ugh, god, no. He has no trunk! He has no trunk! [indistinct] He has no trunk, Specs, you can not make that joke!

S: On his way down, he causes an avalanche with the tiniest freaking gun-

O: Cuz, again, he’s huge! Right, like, he just has this tiny little gun! [Laughter]

S: Covering the green crystal and the day saved because of this, for some reason? Apparently that's enough to insulate the stupid crystal and stop the-

O: Apparently.

S: The Earth's heat energy from being sucked out.

O: Unfortunately for Skyfire, he also gets buried.

S: Bad Autobot buddies there. Yeah, unfortunately, yeah. Well, goodbye Skyfire, who we’ll never see again.

O: You know that bad little habit everyone has of not checking bodies?

S: Yeah. The Autobots are just like---god Autobots, why? Optimus utterly fails to comfort Spike as they vow to remember Skyfire. Why?

O: But not dig him out, you assholes! And that’s where the episode ends, it that cheesy, I swear to god and maybe I'm wrong- but I swear to god, it does that cheesy anime thing where like, you know, you have the character big in the sky as it like, you know, cuts the episode?

S: Big in the sky and the sunset, like, “We're thinking of you-”

O: Right!

S: “Your memory is in our hearts!”

O: Again, if we have not made this clear, we’ll see Skyfire again shortly. Because these guys are idiots!

S: And I guess it's a spoiler, but apparently they just need Wheeljack to freaking dig someone out.

O: I'm convinced Wheeljack just was like, “What do you mean? All we need to do is dig him out. He was fine ice for millions of years. I'm just gonna go do this.”

S: He's still fresh!

O: [Laughter]

S: He’s even more fresh than he was before, he's only been in there like five minutes!

O: [Laughter] Anyway, that’s where the episode ends. Next time join us for the introduction of the Dinobots! Or as we like to call it, “How not to treat your newborns!” Seriously, Prime’s solution is to lock them in the goddamn closet.

S: You're a bad godfather, Optimus.

O: He should not be a godfather at all! Prime, Prime, you should not be around children, go away!

S: Yup, yup.

O: So, my dear Specs tell us about our fanfic!

S: Well, um, we’ve got kind of an avalanche-

O: [Laughter]

S:  -for you today because I just kind of went hog-wild and did more than three.

O: Whoops.

S: So, yeah, lots of stuff that are involve either robots doing dumb stuff in snow, or Skyfire or Soundwave, and yeah. Lots of robots doing dumb stuff in snow and ice.

O: [Laughter]

S: So our first- first selection today is “Bobsled Australia” by Korat. It's a G1 cartoon continuity, I think. It's- yeah,

O: Vaguely, at least.

S: Yeah, well, it focuses on original characters so it's not like it really matters.

O: True.

S: So it's rated T for teen. It's Gen, there aren't any pairings, the original characters are Dart and Deus. So Korat’s original character Dart, and Deus, who is Retrolex's original character.

S: So in summary, “Two transformers, a mountain, and one makeshift sled.”

O: [Laughter]

S: And mountain is specifically about a Mount Blue Cow in Australia, if I'm remembering properly. It's- it's fun. it's funny. So yeah, theme in this was snow plus robots doing dumb stuff in it.

O: [Laughter]

S:  It's- it's old, it's good, I really enjoy it. I recommend it even if you're not terribly into OC’s/original characters just because these two have- like they bounce off each other pretty well and it's fun and you get to see robot’s bobsledding.

O: [Laughter]

S: Bobsledding down a mountain. It's kind of great. And our next one is “28 Skyfires” by Beertree. G1 cartoon, rated K+. Slash because it's got Skyfire/Starscream in it, yeah. Characters: Skyfire and Starscream are the main ones, though there are probably some other supporting characters.

S: Uh, G1, In summary “Finally some new fic from the meme going around in LiveJournal, here are 28 Skyfires. These are listed alphabetically except where a plotline is involved then it's chronological for the story rated K-T for Skyfire/Starscream slash and implied slash,” and our theme for that one is ‘Skyfire” cuz might as well have something all about the new dude.

S: Right, so this is a one-shot collection. Bobsled Australia was a one-shot. Like ne- let's go to the next one, which is “Technical Support” by Archaeopteryx_Feather. Uh, G1 cartoon. K- rated K. It's gen, no pairings. It- the main characters are Soundwave and Starscream. In summary, “Soundwave was a medic of the mind, bound by the Technopathic Oath to do no harm. But what if the patient who needs help is Starscream?”

O: Kill it, kill it with fire.

S: So the theme with that was Soundwave and his medical skills cuz I specifically wanted to find something that, um, explored the medical skills that we got to see Soundwave use in this episode.

O: Fair enough.

S: And it's a one shot with an alternate ending in the second chapter. [Indistinct] And our next one is “Ice Skating” by Haluwasa2. It's a G1 IDW to shake things up from the G1 cartoon.

S: It's rated K. It's Gen, more or less. Pairings: Misfire/Grimlock. Characters: Fulcrum, Misfire, Grimlock. “On a pit stop to Earth, Fulcrum finds Misfire and Grimlock in an unexpected scenario that is... completely normal for them to be honest.” And it's robots doing silly stuff with ice and it's a one-shot.

S: And our last one today is “Snow Day with the Scavengers” by Pteropoda (SilentP), in um..

O: Parentheses.

S: Parenthesis, thank you, so it's also G1 IDW, rated K, Gen, no pairings. Our characters for this one are Fulcrum, Misfire, Krok, Crankcase, Spinister, and Grimlock.

O: Basically the Scavengers from the IDW comics.

S: Yep, yep, and in summary, “Fulcrum is not down with toboggans.” So, yeah. Again our theme is robots doing silly stuff in snow and it's a one shot. I- yeah I was very specific on robots doing silly stuff and snow was our big theme today.

O: [laughs] You just wanted something seasonal, uh, it will make no sense when this is actually aired- we're recording this right before Christmas, so it’s like, very in season for us!.

S: But yeah that's it for the fanfiction recommendations, let's go to the art!

O: Yes! So for today we are recommending Larry, as in, Larrydraws, you can find them under- on Tumblr as Larrydraws.tumblr.com. [They’ve since changed their tumblr url to anna--malkova.tumblr.com.] Also we are recording this right after all this shit with Tumblr’s been going down so if they have a Pillowfort, I don't have a link. We will have a link to their Kofi and to their Society6 page if you don't want to dick with Tumblr right now.

O: They tend to try draw a variety of things but I was also seeing some IDW comic stuff they did which is apparent with one of the things I picked. They have some absolutely gorgeous prints available at their Society6 page. We linked a few of my personal favorites uh, for Perceptor, Soundwave, and Grimlock and I will post links to those. They're just very pretty and very well done and recommend checking them out cuz they kind of have a whole bunch of stuff and there's probably something for your favorite character.

S: Yeah, they've also got shirts with their art on them and--

O: oh yeah! They’re so pretty!

S: They’re amazing looking and I really would like, like five of them? I don't know have the money because, yeah. And that just about wraps it up for us today! Remember to check out our Tumblr at Afterspark-podcast.tumblr.com, Um, I mean if anyone's still on Tumblr, for additional information, show notes or links we may have mentioned, you can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and SoundCloud on YouTube at Aftersparkpodcast. You can also find us on Pillowfort as Afterspark-podcast and on AO3 by searching for Afterspark Podcast because we've just posted that! (Like, a couple of days ago?)

O: This week, basically. We will be posting there in the future, as well, it basically we're just embedding the stuff from SoundCloud but we are uploading the-

S: The transcripts and show notes.

O: The transcripts and then the show notes are in the actual note section as much as we can. Thankfully we can actually link to things which is really nice.

S: And I mean it makes it easier for people to follow along while listening

O: Yes! So if you kind of have trouble with auditory stuff, I know I actually prefer to kind of read stuff myself so, I totally get wanting to have access to it.

S: Yeah it's just it seems like a good idea. I'll see if I can come up with more tags for the AO3 stuff.

O: Yeah, I’m leaving the tags to Specs because, ah, you know I got this fandom like back in, I guess it's like six months now right?

S: Yeah, June-July-ish.

O: Something like that. Anyway and you know how I haven’t been here that long? Well, basically, I haven’t really been in a fandom space very long at all so I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing with tags? Like I’m relatively familiar with Tumblr and, like, nothing else.

S: Whereas I've had an AO3 account since like 2012 and I've been using it probably since 2009.

O: So, she's knows what she’s doing more than I do. I just got on there and was like, “Oh, look fanfic!”

S: [Laughter]

O: “Tags, I love you.”

S: Yeah, so we’ll- I don't know, I guess if anyone wants to suggest tags, feel free. Um.

O: I like to particularly entertaining ones myself.

S: I might have to put on “specs- doing-robot’splaining” or something.

O:[laughs]  Yeah, I like it

S: All right, till next time, I'm Specs!

O: And I'm Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro music]

[janethepegasus]

BMC Miraculous AU RP Thing: Multiverse Search

An RP me and @pika-ace did relating to the BMC Miraculous AU, this one is one of the specials, where the Main Seven search the large space containing the multiverse to find the former akuma (which spoilers for the dimension hopping akuma, Arietes just throws him into a portal that has the multiverse and just leaves him there)

(Jeremy and Michael were walking home from school, both of them were heading to Michael's place for Game Night) (They were chatting about what kind of video games should they play, but then Jeremy noticed a missing poster on a wall)

Jeremy: Hm?

Michael: What is it, Jere?

Jeremy: Look at this... *looks at the poster* You don't really see these in real life

Michael: Yeah, the only missing posters i've seen is about pets, rarely i seen ones about people :/

Jeremy: Yeah... *studies the poster* wait...does this guy...look familiar?

Michael: *studies the poster* Yeah...kinda...

(They both look closer at it)

(They look at the picture of the guy for a bit and then they blink and their eyes widen) Jeremy: Is that...? O_O Michael: That dimension hopping akuma?! O_O

Jeremy: Oh my... O_O Michael: Fuck... O_O

(Jeremy pulls out his phone and texts the rest of the Main Seven)

Jeremy: *text* Can we have a meeting? Like right now??

Joe: *text* Um...why??

Michael: *text* Just...we'll explain when we get there, just trust me, we kinda need to talk

Joe: *text* Um...alright

(Jeremy takes the poster off the wall and they run) (A while later, five of the seven sit in Joe's apartment waiting for Jeremy and Michael)

(A minute later, Jeremy and Michael open the door)

Jordan: Hey boys; so what's going on? Jeremy: This is. *hands them the poster*

(They all look at the poster)

Michael: That guy...that's the dimension hopping akuma Joe: What?!

Jeremy: Yeah! The same guy that got thrown into the multiverse by Arietes!

Eric: He...hasn't come back? Michael: Apparently not Eric: But...I restored the damage...

Joe: Hmm...perhaps whatever magic Arietes had in his domain prevented it from reaching out any further...

Lin: And clearly someone cares for the guy... (Post does a quick search on his phone to see if there's any other information)

(But then Post finds something) Post: Um guys...it's not just one person who cares...it's literally everyone who knows him Jeremy: What?! (Post shows him many social media posts and comments coming from friends and family of that former akuma)

Post: The guy has a wife and kids...

Post: And apparently they've been searching for him for months! Ever since we encountered him as an akuma!

Lin: Whoa...this is weird...and it's never happened before... Joe: That's likely because Raven shockingly sometimes has the courtesy to akumatize people who have nothing to lose and no one to return to Jordan: That explains why we've heard nothing about three dead akumas...

Michael: Though i do think the closest thing to that is like...news articles about that Jordan: True :/

Jeremy: Then...aren't we gonna fix this? It's kinda our fault that we didn't think about this and now this guy is probably who knows where!

Joe: Yes...but how are we gonna fix it?

Joe: How can we possibly locate him, let alone get to him?

Jeremy: Yeah! How are we gonna do that??

Michael: I don't freaking know!!

(They think for a while, passing around ideas of how they should save the former akuma)

Lin: There's gotta be a way...you know, without involving birdbrain

Jeremy: Yeah, we do NOT wanna resort to him! Michael: Yeah we better not XS (They keep thinking and passing around ideas, until...) Post: Guys...i may have an idea, but it might sound crazy...

Jeremy: Let's hear it

Post: What if...we turned into our Space Forms, fly through space until we get to multiverse space, and just search for him!

Lin: ...Multiverse space is a PLACE??

Post: I guess?? I was just describing that large space thing we saw when Arietes opened that portal :/

Post: Is it a place, Dad?

Joe: I...guess...? It's probably a perfect term to describe the multiverse...

Joe: But that plan is better than nothing

Jeremy: Yeah, it's worth a shot :/

Jordan: Yeah, what have we got to lose?

Michael: Yeah! Let's do it!

Joe: But first, we need to prepare ourselves before we do it, since we will be out for a while Jordan: Oh right...

(They spend the rest of the week getting ready; once the weekend hits they're ready to go)

(They're out on a field, the Main Seven are getting ready to go, Joe prepares a bag full of water and food, and a few other Holders, plus Jane and Kirsty, are by them

to give them support and say goodbye) Joe: Alright, we're almost ready to go *to the other Holders* All of you do a good job defending the city while we're gone Tobias: We will Joe Joe: *to Jane* And Jane, you be good to the Trinity brothers Jane: I will! Don't worry about it, i'll be fine! :3

Kirsty: I’ll show her the ropes :3

Philip: We'll take good care of her! Max: As long as she doesn't bug the crap out of me -_- Jane: Don't worry, i won't ;3c (Joe gives Jane a quick hug and he gathers up with the rest of the Main Seven) Joe: Ready?

Cyber: Yes Joe: Alright then (They all transform into their space forms)

Rich: Good luck you guys! Tobias: Stay safe! Leo: We will! Owl: Alright, lets go! (The Main Seven fly off and everyone waves goodbye to them)

(They quickly exit the atmosphere and enter space)

(They fly through space for several hours, passing by planets and stars as they fly)

Leo: What are we even looking for?

Hound: A way to get to that “multiverse space” place, I guess :/

Leo: That doesn’t help >:/

Hound: Well I’m just saying! >:/ Leo: Besides, How the hell do we get there anyways?! Owl: Well...my best guess is to fly towards the end of the universe and hopefully there will be something that’ll lead us to it Leo: Oh great, more flying XS

Cyber: Don’t whine >:/ (They continue flying)

(They keep flying for several more hours, flying as fast as they can to hopefully pass more time. This goes on for many hours, until they start to notice the space

around them was starting to fade away and be replaced by space clouds) Dasher: Uh guys, somethings happening!

Owl: As I thought... Michael: Oh god, the science, the astronomy! EVERYBODY WAS WRONG!!!

Leo: WE'RE GONNA SEE STUFF THAT NO ONE ELSE HAS SEEN BEFORE!!!! Owl: And we're not gonna tell everyone this, got it? >:/ Hound: Why not?! Owl: Because i said so >:/

Hound: Fiiiine (They keep flying)

(They keep flying through space clouds until they emerge out of their universe and find themselves in a large space that's filled with universes that are floating

around)

Timber: Alright...which one first?

Swan: There's so many universes...i don't know where to start!

Dasher: Should we split up? Cyber: That might be risky...

Leo: Yeah, this place is huge! We might get lost if we just split up!

Timber: There’s gotta be a way to narrow it down

Swan: But how?

Cyber: It’s worth a shot but...Quantum Analysis!

(A visor appears on his face and data starts pouring in. However, after a minute or so, Cyber starts to look confused) Leo: What is it Dad? Cyber: ...It's...not working...! Leo: What?! Cyber: All i can gather is just "Don't go too far out" but it's not showing me where to go or how to narrow down these universes!

Dasher: Dammit! Hound: Welp, that idea's a bust XS

Owl: Well now we have to worry about Cyber transforming back out here, since he used his special move >_> Cyber: O_O Oh...oh right...

Owl: Alright, let's pick one to rest and then we can figure out a plan from there

Hound: Alright! ...But which one??

Leo: I don't know, one where the chances of us dying are the lowest!

Hound: Well do i look like i know which universe won't kill us upon entering?! >:/

Swan: I'm tiiiiiiired XS Dasher: *to the adults* Better hurry and pick, the kids are getting antsy

Timber: Alright, ummm.... *looks around at all the universes for a bit and then points to a random one* How about there?

Cyber: Better than nothing *his Miraculous beeps* And at this point we don't have a lot of options anyway O_O

Owl: Alright, let's go, quickly!

(They fly into one of the universes)

(They fly as fast as they can, looking for a place to rest. Until they spot a nearby planet)

(They quickly fly down and land safely)

(As soon as they land, Cyber's Miraculous blinks and he transforms back)

Eric: Phew!

Eric: Made it! (Zip flies out and takes a deep breath) Zip: Phew! That was the longest time we've been in our Space Form! Now i gotta recharge XS Owl: Luckily for you, i packed some Mountain Dew in the bag ;) *gestures the bag*

Zip: :D (Eric takes a bottle from Owl and opens it for Zip who dives inside)

(Zip swims around happily in the bottle)

Dasher: Okay! Where are we?

(They look around and see that they're on an alien-like planet; the ground being purple, the trees, bushes, and flowers look twisted and deformed, and the only sound

they hear is a strange beeping like noise)

Leo: Ooookay, so far so good

Hound: Oooooh, what if we encounter some kind of alien species? :Oc Owl: We're not gonna stay here for long, so chances are, we're not gonna encounter any alien species here :/

Hound: Awwww :( Swan: Now what?

Dasher: Guess we just...chill and try to figure out a plan!

Dasher: I doubt anyone here has seen our guy

Hound: Yeah :/

Timber: *to Eric* You stay close to me until Zip has her energy back Eric: Right

(They walk through the land, looking for a place to relax, until they spot a cave nearby)

Owl: Perfect (They head inside and settle)

(They settle into the cave and they relax)

Hound: Alright...now what?

Owl: Well we gotta think up a plan on how we should find our former akuma, since obviously we can't use Quantum Analysis to do it

Leo: How the hell are we supposed to even narrow it down, let alone track him??

Hound: I don't know! He could be anywhere out there! XS

Swan: Then what do we do??

Owl: Well our best bet is to just search around- Dasher: You kidding me?! I'll take FOREVER to just search through every world we find! I think i should zoom around the multiverse until i find something! Hound: But you'll get lost if you do that! Dasher: ...Oh yeah :/ Leo: What about me and Dad meditate and try to talk to the Sun and Moon gods? Maybe they might have some idea where to go! Eric: Though i think it might be a bit odd to come up to them just to ask for help :/ Leo: Well do YOU have any ideas Mr. "Quantum Analysis won't work here cause reasons"?! >:(

Eric: >:O Don't take that tone with me, young man! Swan: We really didn't think this through... XS

Dasher: Yeah, we just ran in here thinking we could just narrow it down and find him, but the universe said "NOPE" and now we're here XS Owl: Well we have to come up with some plan, regardless on what we do. I just hope our former Akuma is okay... (They keep discussing and talking throughout the day, until they decided to take a little rest. Everyone, who transformed back, is asleep in some sleeping bags that

were in the bag) (However, the only one that was awake was Joe, he was sitting in a meditation pose)

(Joe closes his eyes and concentrates)

Joe: *internally* Please...Miraculous Gods...we need your guidance...show us where to go... (He meditates for a while, going deep into his Miraculous, reaching out to any Miraculous Gods or Demi-Gods out there. Until he suddenly sees a flash of light and when

it faded, he finds himself floating through multiverse space)

Joe: What...? (His vision moves on its own)

(He sees himself floating through multiple universes and flailing around a bit) Joe: Am i...having a vision...? (For a brief moment, he sees his hands, but it wasn't his at all) Joe: It is...! I'm looking through the eyes of our former akuma...!

Joe: Alright...where did you go...? Give us a clue...

(Joe watches the vision play out, seeing the former akuma float around and sometimes flail, and oddly he starts to feel a sense of...loneliness, he feels like it went

on for days...weeks...even months...he even feels a dash of sadness and homesick) Joe: Oh...oh dear...i...wish we could've acted sooner...we're sorry you felt that... (It goes on for a bit, until he spots a large snow globe come into view)

Joe: Where are you now...?

(He sees the former akuma slowly float towards it, when he was not too far away from it, he could see that there was someone in that snow globe...it was a giant woman

who was completely white, glowing, long wavy hair, antlers on her head, and had six arms, and it seems like she's dancing in the snow globe)

Joe: What in the world...?

(Then the large woman turns her head and locks eyes with him, then Joe feels a sense of fear and sees that he tries to run away as best as he can, but he was getting

dragged towards her)

(Joe jerks out of the meditation with a sharp breath and pants)

(He takes deep breaths and tries to calm himself down, but then he hears...) ???: Dad...? (He looks and he sees everyone looking at him with a worried look)

Post: Are you okay?

Joe: *deep breaths* Yeah...i'm...okay...

Joe: And...I think I have an idea of where we need to go... (He tells them what he saw)

(After he tells them his vision, everyone looks both shocked and slightly confused) Lin: So...our guy may be with some giant glowing lady in a snow globe?? Joe: Apparently...

Joe: There was probably more but being attacked startled me so much that I jumped out

Jeremy: At least we have some idea where our guy went...

Jordan: So we just gotta go back out and look for that snowy dimension?

Joe: Yes, but that...snow globe thing wasn't IN a dimension, it was floating in that multiverse space, so i guess we should focus on finding that

Lin: Now THAT narrows it down! :D

Jeremy: Yeah! :D Joe: Alright, let's go *gets up*

(They transform back into their space forms and fly back up into multiverse space)

Dasher: Okay, the search, take two! Owl: Alright, we just have to look for a giant snow globe...

Swan: How will we find it?? Hound: Pretty sure this is basically like a rare spawn thing like in RPGs Leo: Yeah, we just gotta...look for it

Owl: Yes, so keep your eyes open for that... Swan: Wait, if we do get him, how are we gonna find home if we're gonna be so far away from our universe? :S Owl: We'll just retrace our steps

Dasher: And maybe we can find someone who can help :/

Owl: IF there's anyone out here in this multiverse space... :/

(They float around, looking)

(They float through multiverse space for hours, keeping their eyes open for any large snow globes out there. Occasionally they would take a break just to have a little

lunch, and then they would go back to searching again) (This goes on for several more hours; at that point, the kids were getting tired but the adults were still pushing forward)

(Cyber, Timber, and Dasher let the kids stay on their backs to rest while they keep looking)

Cyber: C'mon, it has to be somewhere! Dasher: It's a giant snow globe! How the fuck is it so hard to find it?! (Owl looks around, but then he looks at universes around them, and oddly they looked familiar, that's when he remembered the vision; the former akuma was passing by

those same universes before he encountered the strange being) Owl: I...think we're getting close

Owl: This area is like my vision...C'mon!

(They follow Owl as he flies through the trail of universes, they keep following him until he stops) Owl: We're here... (They find themselves in a large area where there's a HUGE dark gap in the sea of universes, universes float around the large dark gap, except for one world that's

just floating there, and in the middle is a large snow globe, with the large glowing woman inside, and a couple feet below it was a floating piece of land that's

guarded by a net made out of light)

Leo: Whoa... Hound: Okay then...

Swan: That's one giant woman! O_O *points to the giant glowing lady in the snow globe* Leo: Yeah... O_O

Dasher: I guess that's the place...so who wants to go in first? >_>

Leo: Um... (They all look at each other) Leo: Maybe...Dad...? Hound: No, MY dad should go there! Swan: What about Dasher? :/c

Owl: *rolls eyes* I'LL go

Leo: Okay, fine, i guess >_>

(Owl carefully flies down to the net)

(He carefully flies closer towards the net until he can clearly see the former akuma, curled up and shaking in fear)

Owl: Oh dear...

(He flies down near the net and sees the former akuma) Owl: Sir? (He looks at Owl and jumps in fear, but it took him a moment to actually see him) Winston: O-Oh...it's you...! Owl: Yes, we came here to save you. We're really sorry that we didn't came here sooner

Owl: Can you tell us how to get you?

Winston: I-I-I...don't know...how...i-i've been in here for...god knows how long...

Owl: Alright, hold on, we'll think of something

(Owl looks around to come up with a plan, but then his eyes fall upon the net) Owl: Hmm...maybe... (He pulls out his sword and slashes the net open) Owl: Alright! (Owl was about to fly in, but then a second later, the net repairs itself and then Owl hears an alarm, sounding like an alarm played on a flute)

Owl: Oh dear... Swan: Dad, what did you do?! >:O Owl: I was trying to help!! >:(

(Suddenly, a vine made out of light comes out from under the snow globe and uppercuts Owl, sending him flying)

(Owl tumbles through the air into the other holders, knocking them aside like bowling pins)

(The Holders tumble around a bit until they manage to balance themselves) Swan: Ow... XS *rubs his head*

Timber: What the hell is this thing?? Cyber: I guess it doesn't want guests

(Then, the giant glowing lady opens her eyes and stares directly at them) Leo: *shrinks* Shiiiit O~O

(They all huddle together)

(The giant glowing woman keeps starring at them, as if observing them) Dasher: *whispers* What is she doing...?! Owl: *whispers* I don't know...! (She keeps starring at them, until she starts to form an angry and livid look on her face)

Hound: Well whatever it is, she doesn't like it!!!!

(She keeps starring at them angrily until she spoke...) Lumine: Leave...! Owl: E-Excuse me? Lumine: *angrily and loud* LEAVE!!!!!! (Her scream causes the Holders to be pushed back but they manage to hang on)

Cyber: Uh, w-we will! We just came to bring home that man you have!!

Lumine: *angrily* NO!!! You will not destroy another world of mine!!! Not again!!!

Leo: ...Pardon?

Owl: What do you mean by "destroy another creation of mine"? Lumine: *angrily* DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW!!! I know it was you!!! I know you destroyed my world!!! And you took the only survivor away from me!!! I will not let

you do it again!!!

Holders: ????????????? Dasher: Okay, you're gonna have to give us some context cause we are TOTALLY lost

(Lumine angrily glares at them and suddenly vines made out of light emerge out of the snow globe) Lumine: *angrily and loud* LEAVE THIS PLACE NOW!!!!! YOUR MIRACULOUS GODS SHALL NOT DESTROY ANOTHER WORLD OF MINE!!! NEVER AGAIN!!!!!! (The vines made out of light quickly charge towards the Holders)

Hound: SCATTER!! (They all push away from each other and fly out of the way) Leo: Owl Dad, is there something we should know about our Miraculous namesakes?!

Owl: I-I-I don't know!! I-I have no idea what she's talking about!!

Cyber: Not like we can ask Sun and Moon about it, either!!

(They keep flying around, dodging as many light vines as possible)

Hound: Lady c'mon, we didn't do shit!! What did these people look like?!

(Lumine doesn't answer at all) Hound: C'MON!! Just tell- Timber: Look out! (Timber grabs Hound and gets out of the way of another light vine)

Swan: What do we do?!

Owl: I-I don't know!! She's not letting us get to him!! (They keep dodging the light vines; however, as Leo was dodging one, another one from below him passes by him, but causes him to tumble around in the air) Leo: Ahhhh!! DX (As Leo tries to regain his balance, another light vine charges towards him and Cyber sees it)

Cyber: NO!! *flies towards him*

(Cyber flies towards Leo and holds him, but the light vine smacks the two and they were sent flying straight down)

Timber: WILL!! JERE!!

(They fall down towards the large dark gap and they fall through the one universe that was nearby it) (Cyber and Leo keep falling at a rapid pace, falling through an oddly empty space. Until they reach a planet, where they reach it's atmosphere and crash land on the

ground, knocking them out)

(They were knocked out for quite some time, but during that time, Cyber had an odd dream; he and Jeremy were hanging out on a patch of land, feeling so peaceful. But

then, a light vine appears from out of nowhere and reaches out across the field. Then it stops and digs deep into the ground, a few seconds later, the ground begins to

shake madly, until the light vine manages to tear a piece of the Earth off the planet itself and starts dragging it across space. He clings onto Jeremy tightly as

they're forcibly dragged through space, until they fly out of their universe and saw many light vines extend to other universes) (The light vine drags them close towards a light net, where a few pieces of land are in there already. Eric holds Jeremy tighter as their land gets closer towards the

net, but as they got close, he started to see quick flashes of other people on different pieces of lands, he even saw some people flying off those lands and be whisked

away into the multiverse space, people reaching out to them and crying as those people get whisked off. And as soon as their land got close to the net, he woke up)

Cyber: What...was that...?!

(He takes a few deep breaths and looks around the place, and then he looks at Leo...but wait, he's back to Jeremy!) Cyber: What the...? (Then he looks at himself and noticed he transformed back too, and plus, his Miraculous seemed to be missing!)

Eric: Jeremy, wake up!!

(Eric shakes Jeremy and he starts to stir) Jeremy: Huh...wha...?

Eric: Wake up, our Miraculous are gone!!

Jeremy: What are ya talking about- *looks at his wrist and sees his Miraculous is gone* Huh?!

(Eric pulls him to his feet) Eric: C'mon we have to find them!

Jeremy: But where should we look for them?! (Eric looks around until he spots that they were behind a large junk-like city)

Eric: That might be a good place to start

Jeremy: Alright, let’s go

(They head into the town; Jeremy sticks close to Eric upon seeing the people and the buildings)

(They pass by many people that are many different kinds of species, from humans with odd additions to strange creatures. There were many stores and stands selling

exotic stuff and saw many people come and go, they even saw some Cookies, from Cookie Run, running off with a loaf of bread while a French chief chases after them) Chief: *french accent* Come back here you rats!! >:( Gingerbrave: Nope! It’s ours! >:D (Eric and Jeremy watch as they run past them)

Eric and Jeremy: The cookies! :D

(As they watch the Cookies run off, they accidentally bump into someone) ???: Hey! Watch it! >:( Eric: Oh sorry- (He turns around and sees a slightly older Jane glaring at them)

Jeremy: Whaaaaaaaa...???

Eric: Jane?! Jane: How the fuck You know my name? You psychic or something?! >:/

Jeremy: *softly* Dad! Different dimension! >:/ Eric: *softly* Oh right.... *normally* Uh...just a coincidence, you...look like someone I know...

Jane: Oh :/ Jeremy: So Uh...sorry for bumping into ya... Jane: *sighs* That happens a lot here honestly :/

Eric: Well um, while we have you um...have you seen two trinkets around here? A green pin and an orange bracelet?

Jane: Hmmm...nope, haven’t seen anything like it. I’m just focused on meeting up with Kirsty, since she’s watching over my little “tool”

Jeremy: Do...we wanna know what that is?

Jane: Well it’s something that many people call it something else, but I see it as a form of...punishment for a certain somebody >:3c Jeremy: Um... ???: Hey Janey!! (They look and they see Kirsty; who is WAY taller than the one Jeremy and Eric know, almost the same height as Jane, and has long hair. And she seems to be holding

Jane’s old mom on a leash; her wrists are tied up and has tape on her mouth) ((Yeaaah, the world those two came from....Jane did kinda a fucked up thing to her Mom, as punishing her for that one incident))

Jeremy: What the FUCK?! Kirsty: Who're these clowns?

Jane: Some dudes that I bumped into, Apparently they’re looking for some trinkets around here :/

Kirsty: Oh yeah? Eric: Yes um...a green pin and...an orange bracelet?

Kirsty: Hmm...haven’t seen those around here...maybe the Trinket stand might have it? :/c

(Kirsty points in the direction)

Jeremy: Okay...we’ll um...check it out

(They hurry away from them)

Jeremy: Hooooly fuck, did you see Jane’s old mom?! That was so fucked up!! XS

Eric: Yes, and I have a feeling a LOT of things here are fucked up :S

Jeremy: Yeah, let’s just hope our Miraculous are someplace safe, I hope! XS

(They hurry to the Trinket Stand)

(They pass by many people and stands as they go towards the Trinket Stand, they even saw an alternate version of Jeremy selling pills) Other Jeremy: I’m selling Squip pills here! One dollar for one, three dollars for three, five for five, and a hundred bucks for a whole shoe box full of them! Just

PLEASE buy them all! I need the money!! XS Jeremy: Oh god, I’m selling drugs XS

Eric: Just... *pulls Jeremy close* don't look and don't think about it... *they walk faster*

(They walk by different people and stands until they get to the Trinket Stand, where a older and slightly beat down Ash runs it, with Pikachu laying on the table) Ash: *monotome like voice* Hey...welcome to my stand...pick what you like for a price...

(Eric and Jeremy scan the trinkets for their Miraculous)

Ash: *monotome voice* What are you looking for...?

Eric: Uh...a green pin and an orange bracelet

Ash: *monotome voice* Oh...that...? (Ash gives them a cheap plastic bracelet and an emerald pin) Ash: *monotome voice* That’ll be 10 bucks please...

Jeremy: Yeeeeah that's not what we're looking for...

Ash: *monotome voice* It’s not...? Jeremy: Yeah, you just gave us these cheap trinkets! >:/ Ash: *monotome voice* Oh look at that...I failed at something again...just like my Trainer career...

Jeremy: Ooooooh...that explains a lot... O_O

Ash: *monotome voice* Yeah...I’m a walking failure...the only thing in my life that makes my life worth it is Pikachu... Pikachu: Pika! :3

Eric: Awww... Jeremy: Well, uh, good luck with that...

(Jeremy and Eric put the orange plastic bracelet and emerald pin on the table) Jeremy: Thanks for the offer Ash: *monotome voice* You’re welcome...

Jeremy: uh...think you might be able to tell us where we can get...REAL jewelry?

Ash: *monotome voice* Like...What KIND of jewelry...? You looking for Gems...or actual pretty jewelry...?

Jeremy: Like what these are *holds fake trinkets* Except, you know...NOT plastic?

Ash: *momotome voice* Oh...like legit jewelry...? Jeremy: Yeah! Ash: *monotome voice* Well...do you have lots of money on you...?

Jeremy: ...What if we do?

Ash: *monotome voice* Well...I hear that the only place to get actual expensive jewelry is at the black market...they sell a lot of stuff there...

Jeremy: Where can we find that?

Ash: *monotome voice* Well...it’s- ???: Ahem! >:/ (They turn around and see a somewhat impatient person waiting behind them) Ash: *monotome voice* Oh...you’re making a line...can you guys...move out of the way...? So I can do...a thing with that other guy...?

Jeremy: Oh c'mon just tell us, it'll take two seconds!

Ash: *monotome voice* Nah...just get out of the way...so I can help that person...buy something...

Jeremy: But- Guy behind them: *pushes them* Move it, kid >:/

Jeremy: >:O Rude!

Jeremy: now what? Eric: Well, we know to look for a black market

Jeremy: But How do we find it?! Eric: Maybe someone around here knows :/c

Jeremy: Dad, call me crazy, but not a lot of these people look approachable for directions XS

Eric: Well, maybe someone out here is?

Jeremy: Then YOU do the talking this time XS

Eric: Fine fine! >:/ (They start walking around, asking people who are approachable) Eric: Excuse me, do you know where the Black Market is? Cloudy: *thick accent* Never been there Eric: Where’s the Black Market? Amy: I rather not speak about it >:/ Eric: Black Market? Ruby: Nope Eric: Do you know where it is, Uh...short White Diamond...? White Diamond: *depressed tone* No... :( (He keeps asking more and more people and still no luck)

Jeremy: At this rate, we’ll never find them XS

Eric: We can try Jeremy! We can try! (Eric looks around but then he spots an alternate version of Jordan hanging around)

(Eric slows but Jeremy leads him on) Jeremy: No, Dad, your REAL husband’s in space

Eric: But can I at LEAST ask him?! >:/

Jeremy: ......No flirting >:/

Eric: Fine (Eric approaches him) Eric: Um...hey! (Other Jordan turns around and looks at him) Other Jordan: What the hell do you want?

Eric: *flinches and swallows* Um...my son and I are...looking for a Black Market that...sells legit jewelry...do you, uh...know where it is...?

(Other Jordan raises his eyebrow and looks at Eric) Other Jordan: So you’re looking for the Black Market...JUST so you can buy jewelry?

(Eric flushes as Other Jordan leans in close with suspicion) Eric: Uh...it’s...important...

(Other Jordan raises his eyebrow in suspicion) Other Jordan: HOW important?

Eric: Uh...um...

Other Jordan: How important is it to go over there and face the nastiest and dangerous people in there JUST so you can walk off with pretty jewelry? >:/

Eric: Because they were stolen from us!!

Other Jordan: *blinks* What?

Eric: Something special was taken from us and we think they might be in that black market!

Eric: So please!! Just tell us where it is!! (Other Jordan looks at him for a moment, and then smirks with a short chuckle) Other Jordan: Heh, well if you’re that determined to get there... *shift his eyes and then leans close to him* *whisper* Let me lend you in on a secret, the only way

for anybody to get in is to get the password for the front door

Eric: *whispers* Well...What is it?

Other Jordan: *whispers* Well, I hear they change the password every month, however I will give you the password I have. If it doesn’t work, try to find somebody who

knows the current password. Eric: *whispers* O-Okay... Other Jordan: *whispers* Alright...the password is... (Other Jordan softly whispers the password into Eric’s ear, Eric listens to it, though he blushes a little and accidentally thinking about HIS Jordan)

(Jeremy frowns and tilts his head as Other Jordan pats Eric on the cheek and walks away)

(Jeremy approaches him) Jeremy: Well? What did he say?

Eric: *coughs* Um yeah, I got it...the...password too

Jeremy: Did he tell ya where it is? Eric: Y-Yeah...i-i think we can find it...

Jeremy: ...What did he say to you? >:/c Eric: Not important, l-lets go... (Eric hurries off and Jeremy follows)

(They walk through the town until they find the place; a single black door with a yellow X with arms, legs, and a face guards it) Eric: O-Okay...Jordan said that the door is guarded by someone, so we'll just say the password and he'll let us in

Jeremy: Okay Dad...Do your thing

(Eric approaches X, with Jeremy following behind him) Eric: Um, excuse me? We like to go in? X: Oh! Uh...what's the password? Cause...you know...i can't let you in without a password... Eric: It's Riverdale (X looks at a board and looks at the paper) X: Sorry, wrong password

Jeremy: Huh?? Dad!!

Eric: Wha?! B-But Jordan said this was the password! X: S-Sorry, but the password changes every month, plus that one is a REALLY old one. So come back if you have the new one

Eric: But- X: Sorry

(Eric sighs sadly and he turns around to walk away, but then someone that was passing by accidentally dropped a coin and X sees it) X: Oooh! A penny! :Dc (X walks towards it but he accidentally drops the board) X: Oops! (Eric and Jeremy turn around and see the board on the ground)

(They look at it)

(Eric quickly grabs the board and X sees it) X: Hey!! Give it back!! D:<

Eric: No! >:(

X: Give it back!! >:( (X jumps and tries to get the board, but since he's so short, he could't jump up high enough)

Eric: Then let us in >:/

X: I won't let you in without a password! >:/

Jeremy: Then What is it?!

X: I won't tell you! Just don't look at the paper on that board! >:/

(Eric gives him a look and looks at the paper)

(Eric sees the password on the paper and looks at X) Eric: ...It's Lasagna -_- X: *whines* Wha?! I told you not to look at it! DX

Jeremy: Just...let us in -_-

X: But- Eric: Let us in >:( X: *sighs* Okay...okay... :( (X opens the door)

(Eric and Jeremy hurry inside, leaving the board behind)

(X gets the board and closes the door) X: ...The boss won't like this when he finds out... :( (Meanwhile in space, Timber, Hound, Swan, Owl, and Dasher are still dodging the light vines) Dasher: C'mon lady!! Give it a rest! Timber: Guys! We need *dodges a light vine* to get to Will and Jere!

Dasher: Tank, we have no idea where they- Whoa! *dodges* Went!

Hound: Yeah! For all we know they- AH! *dodges* could be in that dark abyss down there! *points to the large dark gap below*

Timber: I ain’t- *dodges* leaving them down there!

Swan: Then what do we- *dodges* do to get to them?! We don't know- *dodges* where they are!

Owl: I don’t know!

(They keep dodging for a bit, until Timber looks down and decides to search for them) Timber: I'm going down there! *flies down*

Dasher: Tank no! *dodges* We need you up here!

Timber: But i gotta find Will!! Dasher: But you don't know *dodges* where they are! Timber: Then i'll just search for them! >:(

Owl: We can't risk being split up even more! Timber: But- Owl: Jordan Ellis-Williams, Holder of the Wolf Miraculous, you are to stay here until we- *dodges* figure this out! >:(

(Timber stands still, but then he gets hit by a light vine and is sent flying)

Hound: DAD!! *flies after him*

Dasher: You told him to stay still *dodges* but the giant lady said "No, you move" Owl: Lin Manuel Miranda, Holder of the Weasel Miraculous, don't even *dodges* DARE test my temper >:/

Owl: And I DIDN'T tell him to stay STILL, I told him to stay HERE, as in this AREA WITH US!! Do you all even listen to a WORD I say?! >:(

Dasher: Well next time, be more specific on what you say >_>

Owl: >8O I WAS!!! Swan: Yeah Lin, he said stay here not stay still, there's a difference >_>

Dasher: Well i- (Then Dasher gets hit with a light vine and is sent flying)

Owl: FOR GOD SAKES DON'T STAY STILL AND TRY TO STAY TOGETHER!!! >8((((((

Swan: Well now we're just going down like flies XS

Owl: Then lets retreat for now!

(Swan and Owl retreat while flying towards where Timber, Dasher, and Hound are)

(They grab the three of them and fly until the vines stop following them but they can still see the snow globe from a distance)

Timber: We gotta go back there and find Will! D:

Owl: For the last time, we have no way of knowing where they landed! We could just end up more lost than them!

Timber: Then how are we gonna find them?! >:(

Owl: We may just have to let them find us

Timber: But what if they don't?! What if they can't find us and get lost?!

Owl: Have some faith in them, Jordan!! Eric can’t always rely on you to save him, so trust him if only this one time to be able to take care of himself and Jeremy. And

you’ll know if he’s in true danger; if that feeling comes...then we’ll follow you to him

Timber: But what if he can't?! What if they're trapped in some endless void of nothingness and i couldn't feel that feeling at all?! I don't want to loose Will!! I

don't want to loose him in a place where i can't get to him!! *starts to tear up* I don't want to loose him...!! I don't want to loose my Peach...!!

Owl: I think both you and I know that you WOULD feel something if something was truly wrong Dasher: Yeah Tank, you and Sparky defy all laws of science with your love

Hound: Yeah! Plus, i think Papa will be fine! Owl: Yes, so give Eric a chance to- *notices Timber shaking* ...Jordan? Are you okay...? (Timber doesn't respond as he starts crying while muttering "I don't want to loose him" over and over again)

Hound: Dad... *hugs him*

Timber: *sobs* I don't want to loose him...! I don't want to loose him...!

Hound: You won’t Dad...he has a freaking Moon god in his Miraculous, he’ll be fine

Owl: Just trust him, Jordan, he'll be alright

Timber: O...Okay...

Owl: And if he does get in danger, you will know Timber: Y-Yeah... (Meanwhile with Eric and Jeremy, they walk down the stairs until they approach a door) Eric: Alright, you're gonna stay near me the whole time, and let's just focus on our main objective and DON'T get distracted by anything, got it?

Jeremy: Yeah >:/

(They open the door and they see a large area that has stores that sell all kinds of things and shady people wonder through the area, some were even carrying things

that they bought)

(Eric keeps his arm around Jeremy as they hustle through the place, looking for their Miraculous)

(They look around until Jeremy spots a Jewelry store)

Jeremy: Over there

(They head over to the Jewelry store, where they see Holly Blue Agate running the store) Holly Blue: Ah, welcome! Here to buy some of the finest jewelry?

Eric: Um, I suppose...did you happen to get a green pin and an orange bracelet?

Holly Blue: Well...i did had a customer with those two things... (Eric and Jeremy perk up) Holly Blue: ...But when i saw the magical capabilities of those two, i simply told them to find another store that'll give them something better in return. (Eric and Jeremy frown)

Jeremy: What kind of stores here would take them?

Holly Blue: Not sure, possibly stores that offer things like creatures, substances, and possibly other things :/

Eric: Alright, Thanks! (They leave the store)

(But before they leave, Holly Blue stops them) Holly Blue: By the way, since you're not buying anything here, care to have an Off-Color or Defective Gem? (She pulls out a box full of Gems) Holly Blue: They're free Jeremy: Um...no thanks Holly Blue: No no, i INSIST *gestures the box*

Jeremy: Uh... *looks at the gems in the box*

Holly Blue: Take whatever you like! Take one, take two, hell, i won't mind if you take the whole box! Ha Ha! Just PLEASE take them! I don't know what to do with those

defective gems!

Jeremy: Okay, okay I'll just take it *takes the box* to make you stop talking! Holly Blue: Perfect! Everyone wins!

Jeremy: Ugh...see ya... (They leave the store)

Jeremy: Now I just hope that they all don't re-form at the same time in this box...

Eric: Yeah; but let's just focus on finding where our Miraculous could be...

(They wander through the market, looking for stores that specialize in magic or creatures)

(They keep wondering around until they spot a purple reptile that's gonna give out their Miraculous to someone at a weapons shop)

Eric: Over there! >:O (They bolt over as fast as they can)

(They run towards her and confront her) Jeremy: How DARE you sell our things at a black market! >:O Susie: Wha? *looks at them* Oh, it's YOU two losers, finally decided to wake up, huh?

Eric: Give them back, right now! >:(

Susie: And why the hell should i give them back to you?

Jeremy: Uh, because they're ours? >:P Eric: And they're special and DANGEROUS in the wrong hands!

Susie: Hmm...dangerous, huh? >:3c Eric: Yes! Just please give us our Miraculous, now! Susie: *looks at them and smirks* Hmm...you know what, i WAS thinking of just trading them for an axe, since all they could do is summon mini magical animals...but

since you mention that they're dangerous... *pulls her hand away from them* I might keep them and use them for something >:3c

Jeremy: You better not! Susie: Imma Do it >:3 Jeremy: Dont you dare >:(

Eric: You better not use them, or else- Susie: Or else what? You're gonna lecture me on how i'm a "bad girl"? Oh please, don't even try to get on my nerves! Or else... (Susie snaps her fingers and a whole gang of baddies appears and surrounds them)

Eric: I...wasn’t going to do any of that :/

Susie: Well you look like the kind of guy who would do that >:P Eric: >:O

Jeremy: Just give ‘em back, please!

Susie: Well if you want it so bad, then try to take them from me! >:3

(Eric reaches out and grabs them from her hand) Eric: *to Jeremy* Run.

(Jeremy manages to escape the gang circle and runs away) Susie: Wow, i can't believe you actually took that seriously! Though i didn't expect ya to take it so easily >:( *cracks her knuckles, looking ready to fight him*

Eric: Eh heh heh heh... *runs after Jeremy*

Susie: Hey!! Come back here you punk!! >:( (Susie and her gang chase after them)

(Eric and Jeremy run as fast as they can) Jeremy: What’s the plan?! Eric: *gives his bracelet while he gets on his pin* Transform, FAST!!

Jeremy: But can we transform while we run?? Eric: Just do it!!

Jeremy: O-Okay! Jeremy: Leo, Fangs Out! *he jumps in case that will help and transforms* Eric: Zip, Power On! *does the same as he transforms*

Leo: Now what?! (Just then, a spade zooms past them) Leo: Eep! O_O (They look back and see one of Susie's gang members, Lancer, throwing spades at them) Lancer: Take them down!! >:D

Cyber: At least now we can defend ourselves...! (He leaps onto a roof; Leo yelps, barely keeping a grip on the box of gems as he follows)

(Susie's gang stops at the roof they're on top of) Susie: Lancer, don't stop shooting at them until they fall! Lancer: You got it, boss! >:3 *shoots spades at them*

(Cyber shoots the spades with lightning while Leo cuts any that get too close while protecting the box) Cyber: Why are you still carrying that?! Leo: They're alive, Dad, I'm not gonna abandon them now!

(Cyber keeps shooting the spades, but one of them manages to hit Cyber on the shoulder)

Cyber: OW!! Leo: You okay?!

Cyber: Y-Yeah...i'm- *gets hit with another spade* OW!! Lancer: Hehe! Wide open for hits! >:D (Meanwhile, Timber suddenly gets a sinking feeling in his heart)

Hound: You feel something? Timber: I do Owl: Can it lead us to them?

Timber: Yeah, follow me! (Timber zooms off and the others follow. They follow him until they reach a universe that was near the large dark gap)

Hound: Oh PLEASE tell me they landed in the universe...

(Timber goes towards the universe and they follow) Hound: Oh thank god, they are! (They float through the space clouds until they reach the universe's space. They float through the empty space as fast as they can) Owl: *looks around* Hmm...this looks...odd...

Dasher: Well we can figure that out later; take us to 'em, Tank!

Timber: Right! (They zoom through space until they see a single planet) Timber: They're over there!

(They zoom towards the planet with Timber zeroed in on one location)

(He lands on the ground and the others land as well. They get up and Timber runs into the city that's nearby them)

Timber: They're close, I can smell 'em! Hound: Same!

(They run through the crowds of people as they follow Timber) Owl: Excuse me! Pardon me! Get out of the way please! Move, Jane! *blinks and looks back* Wait, Jane?? O_O Swan: Focus Dad! Owl: R-Right!

(Owl and Swan fly to get a better look at where they're going)

(Timber keeps running and everyone keeps following him until they get to the Black Market entrance, where X is still guarding it) X: Uh, you need to tell me the password before you can get- (Timber grabs him tightly, lifts him up, and gives him a death glare) Timber: *dangerously* Let us in, or i'll turn ya into a fucking V! >8( X: *shrinks* O_O

X: *high pitched* Go right on in, sir... (The holders hurry in)

(Timber throws X against the wall and runs inside) (They open another door and they run into the black market entrance)

(It doesn't take them long to spot the big commotion happening)

(They see Susie's gang attacking Cyber and Leo, trying to get them down, while Cyber shoots lightning at spades and Leo protecting a box full of gems)

(Timber sees red and whips out his hammer)

(Timber charges towards Susie's gang)

(He jumps and slams his hammer down on the ground, sending out a huge shockwave, knocking Susie and her gang off their feet)

Susie: GAH!! What the hell?!

(Dasher then zooms around them at top speed, landing hits on them while Swan and Owl fly up to where Cyber and Leo are)

Owl: Are you two okay? Cyber: Yeah, we're fine... Swan: *looks at the box full of gems* What do you got there, Leo? A box full of gemstones?? :/c

Leo: It's a long story... XS But how did you guys get here? Swan: We followed Timber's husband radar XD

Leo: Oh, should've known that XD

(Cyber blushes slightly as he looks down and watches Timber beat up the gang while Swan checks the gem box with Leo)

Cyber: *sighs lovingly* So brave...

Swan: So what are they? Leo: A Holly Blue gave them to me, said they're all off colors or defective Swan: Oooh... (Timber, Dasher, and Hound beat up the gang)

(They keep beating them up until only Susie is the only one standing, trying her hardest not to fall) Susie: Damn...you're...strong...! You wiped out...my whole gang...!

Timber: Don't mess with my husband and kid >:(

Susie: Hey...it's not my fault...that they were wide open...for me to steal those...things...! I could've gotten a battle axe...if those two...didn't show up...! >:(

Timber: Well then take something else to get it >:/

Susie: *growls* Fuck...you...! >:(

(Timber knocks her out and join the others on the roof) Timber: Will! :D

Cyber: Jordan! :D

(They hug and kiss while Hound joins Leo and Swan in looking at the gem box to pass the time)

Owl: Well i'm glad the two of you are safe now Leo: Yeah; and i'm glad we finally got our Miraculous back, it took SOO long to actually find someone who has it!

Leo: How did it go with the Snowglobe? Dasher: She wouldn't quit XS

Leo: Really? Swan: Yeah, she kept throwing light vines at us nonstop! Hound: But when we retreated, she stopped and kept doing her thing

Hound: Soooo we gotta think of another way to get in there

Owl: Indeed Leo: Sooo...we're gonna stay here until we can come up with a plan??

Owl: That would be ideal, or we could try to think of one while we try to find her again

Hound: Well the universe we're in is nearby her, so it wouldn't be THAT hard to find her :/

Owl: Alright then Swan: And maybe we could find a home for these gems while we think

Hound: Yeah, cause obviously we can't take them home Leo: Aww, can i at least take one?? :( Owl: Leo, our world already has remnants of people from other worlds that were once prisoners of Arietes, i don't think our world has room for Gems >:/ ((Oh yeah, all those people in those green ambers were set free when Arietes was defeated))

Leo: Okaaaaaaaay...

Owl: But before we do anything else...let's get out of this place XS Swan: Good idea... (They jump off the roof and they exit the black market)

(They eventually find a quiet place to sit and relax)

(As they relax, Cyber and Leo tell them everything they saw on their search for their Miraculous)

Leo: ...So I saved these gems and they still haven't reformed, and then we found our Miraculous, and then you guys showed up and...that's about it

Owl: Goodness, you two went through a lot! Leo: I know! And i've seen things that i wish i could forget XS Timber: Will, you met an alternate version of me here? Cyber: Yeah, it was...kinda hard to talk to...i just kept thinking of you and seeing you...even though i KNOW it's an alternate version of you! XS

Leo: Plus an alternate Jane and Kirsty, and...I think they're even MORE kinky here than back home if what they did to Jane's Mom is anything to go by XS Hound: O_O ...Huh? Leo: Please...don't make me explain... XS

Cyber: I don't think it was kinky at all, frankly i think alternate Jane straight up turned her mom into her slave O_O

Leo: Yeah, but we don't know what they do when they're together without Jane's Mom there XS Cyber: ....Fair point...

Hound: So...what are we gonna do with that snow globe lady? Leo: Well obviously we need to get our guy out of that net, we just don't know how Swan: Yeah, cutting the ropes only worked for like...a second, until it repaired itself again Timber: Yeah, so we gotta find a way to open the net and get our guy out of there as quickly as possible

Dasher: Could sneaking in be an option?

Hound: Maybe??

Timber: We could try sneaking in the back, cause brute forcing our way in obviously isn't an option

Hound: Yeah...maybe she won't see us do it when we try that! Leo: Maybe? (As they talk about their plan, they start to notice that Owl hasn't said anything and looked like he was thinking) Leo: Uh...Owl Dad? You okay? Owl: *blinks* Oh! I'm okay, i'm just...thinking... Hound: About what? A plan? Owl: No...but rather, the things she said to us...

Dasher: That whole thing about how we apparently destroyed her world? Yeah I'm kinda wondering about that too

Swan: Yeah, and she said we took her only survivor away from her Hound: And she kept screaming at us to go away all because she doesn't want us to lay a finger on her world??

Leo: Yeah, was that an ancient Miraculous thing or...is she just nuts?

Dasher: CAN giant space beings go insane? 8/c

Timber: Who knows? :/c

(Owl thinks for a bit, trying to make sense of Lumine's claims, but then, he thinks of something) Owl: ...I think i might know something about her second claim... Leo: Really? Owl: Call me crazy but...what if she was talking about...Arietes?

Leo: Uh...pre or post reincarnation?

Owl: Pre-reincarnation

Leo: Okay that makes sense... Hound: How the fuck did she mistake US for a giant centaur man???

Owl: No no no, you don't understand me! You all remember the reason of his motivation to take parts of worlds and stitch them together? Leo: Kinda?? Owl: Well his reasoning is because he wants to rebuild his world! The world that was destroyed by an unknown force and HE was the only survivor!

Holders: ???? Hound: ...Elaborate please?

Owl: *rolls his eyes* Ugh, okay, so we all know that Arietes was gonna take part of our world and stitch it with an incomplete world that's made up of pieces of other

worlds he invaded Leo: Right... Owl: But the reason he's doing this, and the reason why he's going around, world to world, doing all of that, was because he wanted to rebuild his old world Hound: Okay... Owl: And apparently, his world, the whole universe he lived in, was destroyed by an unknown force, and he is the only survivor cause he opened a portal and escaped to

another world Swan: *nods* Owl: But when we defeated him, and stopped him from continuing any further with his plans, the Miraculous Gods turned him into a Guardian and gave him a second chance Cyber: Alright Owl: So i believe that when she said that we took her only survivor away from her, she was talking about Arietes! Meaning that SHE was related to Arietes' homeworld

and she blames us for taking her only survivor of that world that got destroyed!

Everyone: Ooooooooh

Leo: Oh that makes much more sense now (Owl sighs with relief) Cyber: Wait, she also mentioned that we destroyed her world, so since Arietes is that survivor she said we took away.....does that mean she blames US for destroying

Arietes' world?

Hound: Yeah What the hell?! >:/

Hound: We never BEEN to that world! We only know it's existence from Arietes! >:/ Leo: Or maybe the Miraculous Gods did it? :/c Owl: No, they couldn't Leo: Why you say that? Owl: Well the thing is, the Miraculous Gods cannot destroy worlds. At all. They never have any intentions on destroying worlds out of any desire.

Cyber: Well there’s no way she’ll listen to us either way

Hound: Yeah, she'll just screech at us for how it's OUR fault that we destroyed her world, even though we didn't do it :/

Swan: Soooo...is sneaking in the best way?

Owl: I guess so :/

Owl: That May also be the safest option

Hound: Yeah, to avoid us getting smacked around my light vines :/

Timber: Alright then

Leo: So, sneak in there and take him out of there? Cyber: Yep Leo: Alright, let's go! (They get up, but then one of the gems in Leo's gem box starts to glow)

Leo: *gasp* Someone’s reforming! :D Swan: Oh boy! :D

(A Pearl floats out of the box and it reforms it's body, revealing to be a light pink Pearl)

Swan: Pretty! :0c

(The Pearl floats down and looks around, confused) Pink Pearl: Huh?? Where am i??

Leo: Uh.....what’s the last thing you remember?

Pink Pearl: Well um...i fused with Ruby...then we were caught and then...they poofed us...

Leo: Oh... *digs through the box and finds a ruby* This ruby?

Pink Pearl: Oh! Yes that Ruby!

(Leo hands it to her)

Pink Pearl: C'mon Ruby! Come out! (A few seconds later, the Ruby starts to glow) Pink Pearl: Oh, there you go! :D

(The ruby forms and blinks) Ruby: Huh?

Ruby: Where am i? *sees Pink Pearl* Pearl! :D

(They hug)

Swan: Aww! :3

Leo: Maybe you guys can watch the rest of these guys *gestures to box*

Owl: And perhaps find a safe place for all of you to live :) Pink Pearl: Um...sure!

(Leo hands them the box)

Leo: Okay, with that out of the way, let's go!

(They transform into space forms and fly off)

(They fly out of the planet and Owl looks back at the planet and notices how it’s made up of different pieces of land that don’t match with each other) Owl: Hmm...how odd...

(They fly until they reach the snow globe but keep their distance)

Owl: Alright, we’re just gonna sneak down there and get him out without her noticing us Leo: Yeah...

(They float so they’re behind the snow globe)

(Then they float down towards the net, where Winston is still on the piece of land that’s inside)

(They carefully slip through the net)

Cyber: Okay, so far so good... (They float towards Winston and hold him up) Leo: It’s gonna be okay dude, we’ll get you out Winston: O-Okay... (One by one, they carefully slip out, but then Owl’s leg accidentally touches the net and he suddenly screams in pain) Owl: GAH!!! (Then the alarm goes off) Leo: Shit!! Move move move move!!! (Swan quickly cuts the net and they fly out of the net as fast as they can)

Dasher: We better fly home now or something!

Leo: Yeah, let’s get out of here!! (Lumine glares at them and screams...) Lumine: *angrily* LEAVE!!!!! (Lumine summons light vines and they charge towards them) Leo: GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!!!!!! (They fly as fast as they possibly can, trying to outrun the light vines)

(They hold Winston as tightly as they can as they fly)

(They keep flying faster and faster, slowly outrunning the light vines)

Leo: We’re doing it!!

Hound: Keep flying faster guys!!

(The vines start to peeter out)

Leo: Keep going guys!! We can outrun them!!

(Finally the vines stop chasing them)

Leo: YES!! Hound: We did it!!

Owl: *to Winston* Lets Get you home :)

Winston: Alright :) Leo: Sorry we left ya out here for a long time XS Hound: Yeah, we feel kinda bad for it XS

Winston: I-It’s okay

Winston: Don't feel too bad about it...i'm just glad you all saved me... :)

Dasher: Yeah well you have a lot of people who will be happy to see ya

Winston: Yeah, i'm sure everyone will be surprised at what i've been through! Owl: If you plan on doing that, just...tell them not to spread it around to everyone else, this is something only you and whoever you talk to should only know

Winston: Okay... (They fly and soon their universe comes into view)

Owl: There it is! Let's go! Leo: Wait, how is he gonna breathe if we go into our universe's space?? *gestures Winston* Holders: O_O

Swan: Uh...maybe if he holds his breath and we fly REALLY fast we’ll make it

Owl: It's...worth a shot...

(They get as close as they possibly can) Owl: Alright...ready?

Holders: Ready! Owl: *to Winston* Hold your breath and hope and pray we make it Winston: Okay... *takes a deep breath and holds his breath*

(The holders fly as fast as they possibly can)

(They fly through space as quickly as possible while Winston holds his breath as long as he can)

(Earth eventually comes into view and they pick up speed)

Leo: I see Earth! Owl: But if we enter the atmosphere, he might burn up! Leo: ...Oh yeah O_O Timber: I got an idea, how about i shield him from the heat? Hound: That could work! :D Owl: Timber, get over here and shield him!

(Timber moves in front of Owl to sandwich Winston between them to shield him)

Timber: *to Winston* It's gonna be okay, we're doing whatever it takes to get ya home safely! (Winston nods) (They fly towards Earth and they enter the atmosphere)

(They fly through it and Winston doesn’t get burned; once they’re through, Winston breathes again)

Winston: Oh thank god... Leo: We're almost there! Oh, and by the way, what's your name? Winston: I'm Winston Leo: Winston, got it.

Owl: Where do you live?

Winston: I live in New Jersey, the same city you all live in

(They fly down and Winston directs them to his address)

(They all fly towards his home and they land)

(Leo and Hound knock on some of the windows before they land and Owl puts Winston down)

(Then they knock on the door and a few seconds later, the door opens)

(A woman stands at the door and two little faces peek out)

Julia: Hello? Leo: Uh hey, we found your lost husband (She looks confused at first, but then she looks and sees Winston)

Kids: Daddy!!!! :D *run out*

(The kids run towards Winston and hug him) Winston: Hey there! I missed you two! :D (Julia walks out of the house and towards Winston, tears forming in her eyes)

(Julia just about throws herself at him and kisses and hugs him) Swan: Awwww...

Leo: What a happy reunion! :)

Owl: Indeed... :)

Winston: Thank you for bringing me home... :) Leo: You're welcome dude! :) Hound: We'll just leave ya to reunite with your family :) (Winston nods and the Holders fly off, then they fly towards an alleyway where they transform back)

Lin: Well doesn't that feel good :) Eric: It has been a while since we've saved someone like this :)

Jeremy: Yeah! And it was the first time we did a little space adventure! ...That didn't involve an akuma Michael: True (Joe pulls out his phone and texts to the Miraculous Armada group chat that they're back home and Winston is safe)

(The armada responds happily) Joe: Well, I think we all deserve a good rest after that

Jeremy: Yeah, we deserve it! :)

(They all disperse)

[evesbeve]

Little Raindrops - Bruiseshipping (Jay x Cole) One-Shot (Valentine’s Week, Day Seven)

(Reupload)

Welp. This is the finale of my series of One-Shots for Valentine’s Week: Bruiseshipping! I am so excited to post this. I put so much effort into it and it is my favourite One-Shot I wrote for this challenge. I hope you guys like it!

Before we start, I want to say real quick that a part of this was inspired by @garmacondrai‘s headcanon of Cole loving the rain. So thank you for inspiring this one-shot, Bek ^^ The idea was born from your HC, I owe it to you!

Title: Little Raindrops

Pairing: Bruiseshipping (Jay x Cole)

Franchise: Ninjago

Summary: The rain had always helped Cole feel better. However, as a ghost, he was unable to go near his only comfort. He silently stared at it from inside, hoping his heart would stop begging for him to go out. It only took a fuzzy blanket, a warm hug and Jay's sweet smile.

Word count: 3,369

Read this on AO3 and Fanfiction.net!

It’s an endless circle. A case of repeating. When water evaporates, as everyone learnt from a young age, it turns into steam that goes into the air. It rises up high, and as it gets cold, it turns into clouds. And once air can’t hold anymore water, clouds get heavy, and millions of raindrops fall down on the earth, only to repeat the same process. It’s an endless circle, with a beautiful outcome, if you are willing to understand the cycle’s meaning. Some people feel the rain, while others only get wet.

Cole could do neither.

For as long as he could remember, he loved the rain. Ever since he was little, his father would take him out on walks while it rained. They’d play in the puddles and dance together. It was one of the only good childhood memories Cole had. Once his mother passed, his father became distant. He was so persistent, always forcing him to do things he was not interested in. It was as if Cole had lost both of his parents in one day.

The rain meant something to him. There wasn’t a rainy day that Cole hadn’t taken an advantage of. Whenever he’d feel as if he had too much on his chest, he’d sit under the open sky, letting the cold raindrops hit his body. That was, if he were lucky enough for there to be rain.

It really didn’t matter after he and his brothers paid a visit to the Temple of Airjitzu, however. As a ghost, the rain worked as the exact opossite of what it did before: Instead of helping him, it destroyed him. In a literal way. Not being able to touch water affected him in more ways than he had imagined. Obviously, he couldn’t drink it. He couldn’t have long bubble baths and he surely couldn’t train near Nya anymore. But, what hurt him most was that he couldn’t make contact with the rain from then on.

He tried to tell himself that it didn’t matter. The more days went by, however, the more stressful he got. Dealing with his new self, his new powers and feelings called for a way to deal with stress. But since he could no longer rely on food for that, as he was not able to get enough satisfaction from it as a ghost, and could not rely on the rain, he felt desperate.

As far as he could tell, Cole was an introvert. That took talking with someone about his emotions out of the list as well. He tried not to bother his teammates with his problems, causing a conflict to take place inside of him. More or less, he had created another endless cycle. Only that time, it was not a pleasant one.

Cole missed the feeling of the rain on him. He missed feeling his hair slowly getting wet, his clothes becoming soaked with water, and the contact his skin made with it. He was still greatful for being able to look at it though.

That night, he did just that. He made himself as comfortable as he could at the edge of the window and leaned his head against the thick glass. He watched as the rain hit Destiny’s Bounty and ran down the window. He wished nothing more but to go out there but he knew that was out of the question.

“Get a blanket, dum dum.” he jumped as he heard a voice behind him.

He turned around, only to see Jay in his pajamas with a fuzzy blanket in hand. “It’s three in the morning, Jay! Quiet down, you’ll wake the others up!” Cole yelled-whispered.

The boy internally facepalmed himself. “Oops?” he chuckled nervously. “S-Still, take it. It’s super chilly tonight.” he insisted, making his way closer to Cole.

“Ghosts don’t get cold, Jay.” Cole informed him and there was clearly a sign of sadness in his voice.

“O-Oh my…” Jay wanted the earth to shallow him. “Cole, I’m sorry, I’m such a jerk for not thinking about that, I’m so sorry, I should have considered that before I acted, if only I could think for once then it wouldn’t have led to this, now I probably made you feel even more terrible than before, I am the worst friend to ever-”

“T-The blankets may not be able to warm me up but they are still very comfortable!” Cole interrupted him, in an attempt to make him feel better. He couldn’t care less that he couldn’t feel the blankets at that point. All he wanted was to see his friend’s smile again. It broke his heart to see Jay overexaggerating like that, not to mention blaming himself for the situation.

“R-Right.” Jay took a deep breath. “Sorry, for this…” he pointed his gaze at the ground.

Cole tried to put on a smile. “Don’t worry about it.” He just hoped that it was enough to convince Jay that everything was fine.

“Okay.” Jay smiled back, sitting at the opossite side of the window’s edge. The moment his body made contact with it, a chill went up his spine. He didn’t realise it would have been that cold. “Here,” he handed Cole the blanket, hiding his discomfort. The last thing he wanted was to make Cole even more upset, by taking back what he had to offer. “Nice and cozy.”

Cole carefully placed the blanket on top of him. It was a blue, long and fluffy blanket, definitely one of the most comfortable ones in the ship. He burried half his face in it, relaxing as much as he could. It took a moment, but he soon realised to whom this banket belonged to. “Isn’t this your blanket?” he asked, feeling a tickling feeling in his cheeks.

“Yeah, why?” Jay asked.

The feeling became more intense. “... If it’s yours, why are you giving it to me?”

“Because it’s the best one we have, duh! Made by no other than my mom.” Jay smiled widely. “She gave it to me on my 10th birthday!”

Cole shook his head and chuckled. “We’ll see about that.”

“Hey, my mom may be a bit insistent at times but you can’t doubt her sewing skills just like that!” the master of lightning joked.

The silliness Jay showed was one of the things Cole liked most about him. When he made careless jokes like that or when he stuck his tongue out at him playfully, it was all enough to make him drift away from reality. It was at that moment Cole found himself lost once more. Not in the rain, but in Jay.

Although the room was completely dark, with the only souce of light coming from outside - which was limited since the sky was covered with clouds - Cole could see Jay’s eyes shining as he took in the sight of the rain. It was as if everything Cole loved about the rain was being reflected in Jay’s eyes, causing it to spread all over him. And as he studied him like that, Cole noticed something else about Jay.

The boy was as cold as he could have been.

Without thinking much of it, Cole gently threw the blanket on top of Jay. The sudden warm feeling on his body took Jay by surprise. “Why are you-?”

“Jay, your whole body is shaking.”

“So? I brought this for you, it’s not fair for me to take it like that-”

“Don’t be silly. You’re going to catch a cold.” Cole scolded him. Jay looked at Cole with an apologetic look. “It’s okay, really.” he was quick to add. “I’d hate for you to get cold. Your health is more important than my satisfaction.”

Jay didn’t protest to that. For a moment, Cole thought he had persuaded him to keep the blanket. However, the moment he turned around to look outside the window once more, Jay launched himself between his legs, bringing the blanket with him and covering them both up. “Your emotional state is equally important.” he muttered and snuggled on his chest.

It was the first time ever since he had turned into a ghost that Cole felt warmth overfilling him. He couldn’t process what had just happened. When he went to look at the rain, he definitely didn’t expect to end up with Jay cuddling on his lap. Thousands of thoughts were spinning in his head. He tried his best not to romanticize the moment but it was helpless.

Cole wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. He absolutely didn’t want Jay to think he had any ‘weird’ intentions. They were just friends, after all. ‘But what if the reason Jay did what he did is because he, too…’

His head and heart had overheated and were ready to blow up.

“You said that ghosts don’t get cold,” Jay mumbled. “but apparently they can heat up because you are very nice and cozy right now.”

That was it for Cole. That was where his ‘keep it together’ act fell apart. He wanted nothing more but to cover his face with his hands and cuddle into a ball to maintain his cool but he wasn’t able to. Instead, his overwhelming feelings came out in the form of a quiet squeal.

There was no reaction from Jay, at first. A few seconds later, however, the brunet bursted out laughing. “What was that about?”

“S-Shut up…” Cole mumbled. He sighed. “Just shut up, for a second…” Cole wrapped his arms around Jay, allowing him to snuggle on him more easily.

To Cole’s surprise, Jay didn’t try to joke around the situation any longer. “Okay.” was all he said, before he pulled himself closer to Cole, wrapping his arms around him as well.

He looked so tiny in comparison to Cole. The blanket was covering the entirety of Jay’s body, the only visible parts being his eyes and the top of his head. It seemed as if he couldn’t get more comfortable than that.

Same could be said for Cole. He couldn’t remember the last time he been this peaceful. He had been waiting for that moment for so long, and although he knew that they would probably never speak of it again after it was over, he didn’t care. At that moment, he felt better than he ever did in a long amount of time.

Jay, on the other hand, was unsure of how to feel. He had known of Cole’s crush on him. It was very obvious if you paid close attention to some things. When he first found out, he was heart-broken. He felt terrible that he was one of the reasons Cole suffered every day. But Jay couldn’t change his feelings. He was certain his heart beat for Nya.

But as time went by, and the more he thought about it, the more he started to question his own feelings. ‘Why am I feeling so sympathetic around him? Is it pity? It must be.’ He tried his best to believe his own words. It just didn’t make sense to him. He had known Nya and Cole for years. What he saw them as and his feelings couldn’t change just like that, could they?

Jay started wondering if the reason he found comfort in Cole was because he saw him as a replacement of Nya. But that didn’t sound right. How could his best friend be just a replacement? ‘What is he to me, then?’ he constantly asked himself.

Even after months went by, Jay could not determine whether what he felt was real or not. And at that night, he didn’t really know why he did what he did. He told himself it was because he didn’t want to see his best friend be upset. ‘If he likes me that way, then I could make him feel better, couldn’t I? It’s the right thing to do for him! I think…’ He knew, however, that was not the only reason he acted the way he did.

The silence between the two boys remained still. The only sound filling the room was the rain, dripping from the sky and hitting against the wooden floor. It didn’t seem like it would stop any time soon, but at that point, it did not really matter. The two of them were enjoying as much of the moment as they could, knowing it would not last for long. None of them dared to express their concern.

Having his head laid down on Cole’s chest, Jay had another relaxing sound dance in his ears. His heartbeat. If he were honest, he couldn’t decide whether it made him more anxious or calmed him down. On one hand, he was afraid. He was afraid of liking it. He was afraid of seeing - or rather, hearing - how much Cole cared. Jay knew Cole’s heart was beating for him, and that scared him the most.

Then again, his heartbeat was so steady. Jay had started to lose focus on the rain and focus on the beat instead. He counted the seconds, he felt the slight vibration each beat caused. In a way, he felt safe in Cole’s arms. It was the first time he experienced anything like that. The feeling was driving him crazy.

“Jay,” Cole whispered. “are you still awake?”

“Y-Yeah.” Jay jumped slightly in surprise. “A-Are you?” he asked and immediately realised how stupid his question was.

“No, I’m currently asleep, how come you asked?” Cole joked, and Jay could hear a smile in his voice.

“Then I guess you are missing out on these ‘little raindrops’, or however you want to call them.” Jay pouted, clearly embarassed.

Cole chuckled. “Little like your freckles.”

“Oh my god, shut up this instant.” Jay felt his cheeks starting to burn, so in order to cool them down, he buried his face in Cole’s chest even more.

“Says you, whose voice just went up at least five octaves.”

“Hey, you’re supposed to be the ‘singing and dancing’ one!” Jay tried to hide his nervousness behind a joke, like he usually did.

“Maybe.” Cole smiled, closing his eyes for a few seconds. “Say, Jay?”

“W-What?” Jay mumbled, still embarassed from before.

“Why did you… You know.” he took a deep breath. “Hug me? I guess? I can’t really make it sound less awkward than that, heh.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Cole,” Jay saw his words as an opportunity to strike back. “Why do you have a crush on me?”

“That does not have anything to do with-” Cole gasped. “Y-You know about that? I-I mean, wh-what crush? You’re so funny, Jay! Always joking a-and messing around! You make me laugh!”

“You done?”

Cole sighed deeply. “Yeah… Sorry, for this.” he mumbled. “I’m just… It’s complicated.”

“I’m listening.” Jay offered, pulled away from Cole and looked at him in the eyes. He quickly realised how weird that must have sounded. “I-If you want to talk about it, of course. I know this might be weird for you, since it’s me who you’re talking about and all.”

“It’s okay.” Cole sighed once more. “It was… A matter of time, anyway.”

Jay nodded. “Go on.”

“I don’t know when exactly I started to feel that way.” he started. “I know it was after we made up in the tournament of elements. I was so happy we were on good terms after all this time, you know? I was upset to find out that the excitement of our friendship died out. Not because I didn’t want us to be friends, but because it… It changed into something else, Jay. And I don’t know why.”

“Hey,” Jay put his hand on top of Cole’s. “I-It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“You… Don’t think I’m weird?” Cole shyly asked.

Jay shook his head. “Of course not! It’s not something you can control, after all. When I was head over heels for Nya, it wasn’t something I chose. It just… Happened. Just like what’s happening to you now. So no, I don’t think you’re weird, Cole. You’re my best friend.” he smiled kindly at him.

Nodding, Cole smiled back. “Thanks, Jay. I’m glad you understand.”

“No pro-”

“Wait.” the earth ninja interrupted his friend.

“What’s up?”

“Before, you said ‘When I was head over heels for Nya’, right?”

Jay raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, why?”

“What do you mean ‘when you were’ head over heels for her?”

“Oh!” Jay exclaimed.“N-Nothing! I-It meant nothing!”

Cole shook his head, clearly not convinced. “You’ve always been a terrible liar, you know? You may be able to hide things from Kai or Zane, but not from me.”

The boy beside him scratched the back of his head. “W-Well,” he chuckled nervously, looking down. “L-Let’s just say th-that… You’re really gonna make me say it, aren’t you?”

“What is it?”

“Imayormaynotlikeyoutoo?” Jay blurted as fast as he could.

“What?” Cole tilted his head. “Slow down, motor mouth. Not everyone is lightning fast as you, you kn-”

���I. Like. You.” Once the words escaped Jay’s mouth, he looked outside the window to avoid Cole’s gaze. “There, I said it. Happy?”

Cole didn’t know what to say. He stood still, trying to process the new information he had just obtained. Jay Walker, his best friend, and long-time crush, had just admitted to have a crush on him too. Cole could feel his heart starting to beat faster and that warmth he so much loved came back, overfilling him with joy.

“Y-You serious right now?” Cole needed Jay to confirm it once more. He just couldn’t believe it.

“Yes, I’m serious, now please, stop mentioning it, it’s embarassing!” Jay pouted.

“Oh, so it’s okay for you to ask me about my feelings but when I do it it’s not?” Cole joked, smirking. “Gotcha!”

“Cole!”

“Whaaat?” he pretended to be upset. “I’m just saying the truth.”

“Stop!”

“Fine, fine. But just so you know…” Cole grinned. “You are very adorable when you are embarassed like that.”

Jay felt his soul leave his body. “Cole!” he playfully punched him. He failed to hold back his smile, revealing his delight.

“So you are enjoying this.” the ghost snickered. “A-dorable!” he added, still joking.

“This was supposed to be a relaxing night, I wasn’t planning on confessing any feelings tonight.” Jay mumbled. “But… At the end of the day, I’m… I’m glad I did.”

Jay looked up at Cole, deep into his green eyes. Although he couldn’t see himself, he could tell his reaction was probably similar to Cole’s. Shy gaze, flushed cheeks, dork smile. It was just like them.

Cole cleared his throat, breaking eye contact. “S-So… What now?”

“Well shit, Cole, I don’t know.” Jay bit his lip. “What… What should we do?”

“You’re the relationship expertise here.”

“My last relationship failed because you stepped in.” Jay reminded him.

“To be fair, it wasn’t my fault that Nya-”

“I meant,” Jay interrupted. “For making me fall for you instead.”

Cole couldn’t believe how sweet Jay was. His words were tickling Cole’s ears, finding their way inside of his body and wrapping his heart into a tight embrace. His heartbeat picked up, leaving Cole speechless. If he was able to cry, he would. But as a ghost, that was impossible.

“Too soon?” Jay asked, giggling nervously. “Sorry-”

“Just stop apologising and give me a hug.”

He didn’t have to ask twice. Jay leaned in, wrapping his arms around his ghost friend - or whatever he was to him at that point. Cole returned the hug, pulling him closer to him protectively. It was not the first time they had hugged that night, but at that moment, the hug meant much more to both of them. It was a way of expressing their admiration for one another.

Since they were sitting down, they were not able to hug for long. However, Jay made sure to return to his original position, resting his head on Cole’s chest.

“What did I do to deserve you?” Cole quitely asked as he covered them up with the blanket again.

“I don’t know.” Jay admitted, closing his eyes and making himself comfortable. “But I don’t care either. I’m just glad that… You know.”

“We’re together?” Cole suggested.

“Yeah.” Jay smiled. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

[codylabs]

Chapter 10: The Madman’s Tale

Links: P 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Dipper, Wendy, and McGucket poked their way through the depths of the alien spacecraft, and finally arrived at sector 43: the portion of the cargo area that they theorized once contained robotic life forms. They pried the door open with great difficulty, and stood staring in.

It wasn’t at all what they expected.

“Well… That’s… Somthing.” Dipper said.

“Yeah… Wait, no it’s not.” Wendy disagreed. “It’s not something! It’s literally nothing.”

“Yep. Nothin’.” McGucket agreed.

Because when they pried the door open, there was no sector 43; there was only a solid wall of dirt.

“So how would this even happen?” Dipper pondered out loud.

“Wull, this here honkytonk is underground…” McGucket reminded him. “Has been fer thousands a years… Just a matter a’ sludge and hogwash erodin’ down off the hills, and gravity has its merry way from there…”

“But… The hull…” Dipper said. “The hull would be in the way… I guess the roof must have collapsed?”

“Well.” Wendy shrugged. “If this did have escaped metal life, that would mean there’s were a bunch of critters running around with saws in there…”

“Yeah, but… But would they really chop up the entire roof??”

“Okay, I don’t know…”

The only other interesting thing about sector 43 were the words carved above the door. Although Dipper had seen words written or painted around the ship a few times, these ones were actually etched into the metal. As if their writers had a saw or grinder of some kind… Which was too big of a coincidence to be a coincidence. He pointed the tablet at them, took a picture, and had it translate. He had hoped for something profound, but was disappointed.

“ƉN::ᶌ and Ɖg@}Nᶌ were here.” He read.

“Oh HO!” Wendy scoffed, as she immediately removed and unzipped her backpack. “Is that how you want to play it, mysterious ancient aliens? Fine then! FOUR can play at THAT game!” She removed a neon green can of spray paint from her pack, shook it up, and wrote Dipper and Wendy were here next to the carvings.

McGucket found this disrespectful and unprofessional, although Dipper thought it was a riot.

“So who were those two, anyway?” Dipper asked outloud, after they’d finished laughing. “ƉN::ᶌ and Ɖg@}Nᶌ...?” He tried to pronounce the symbols, but it was much too hard.

“Just make up some normal names for them.” Wendy suggested. “Like… Like Betty and Barney, or something. I don’t know, Mabel could probably do better…”

“Betty and Barney it is, then.” Dipper nodded. “Yeah… Betty and Barney were here… So who were they? Were they more specimens? Or part of the crew? Or passengers…?”

“I don’t know.” Wendy shrugged. “Could have been anyone, really… But back to the problem at hand: Sector 43 is missing a ceiling, and filled with dirt. Short of borrowing my cousin’s excavator for about a month, how do we find out what was in there?”

Dipper considered this. “Well… Huh… I guess that if there’s giant holes in the roof, then chances are there’s giant holes in the walls too, right? So if there was metal life in 43, we should probably check in sectors 42 on the left, and 44 on the right. That’s where they would have breached through.”

“Right tootin’!” McGucket slapped his knee. “Wull then, I’ll give 42 a lookie, and you kids scrabdoodle off to 44!”

“Got it.” Dipper nodded.

“Don’t let the grammar hit you on the way out!” Wendy jested, as they turned to head back the way they’d come. McGucket went off the other direction, hamboning a playful tune on his thigh.

Dipper and Wendy arrived in cargo area 44, and it was pretty much how they expected.

Beyond the sliding door, they found a massive room, the size of a warehouse, and high enough that their headlamp beams didn’t reach the ceiling. The entire space was filled with gigantic hexagonal crates suspended on large, honeycombed racks, with barely room enough to walk between them.

Sector 44 was a mess, same as everywhere else. But this mess considerably messier. Here, not only the small things were broken, but also the computers, the equipment, the floor, the walls, the lights… Everything was cut all to pieces. Wires and cords hung from the ceiling in tattered tangles. The terminals on the walls were totally gutted. The walls had cavities. The cargo containers were cut open, and much of their freight was spilled about. Everywhere there were scratches and saw marks.

And as for the wall this sector would have shared with 43… The wall had been torn half away, and mountains of dirt and deposit had spilled through the missing half, partially filling 44 and destroying many of the cargo racks. Great tree roots, having groped their way down from the distant surface, peaked out of the mess here and there.

“Yep.” Wendy nodded. “This is about what I expected.”

They started to walk into the room to explore it, but suddenly something sharp caught Dipper in the leg, and he yelped with pain.

He looked down.

A large panel of the floor had been torn up, revealing some electrical lines. And out of those electrical lines, there grew a tangle of metal weeds. They were long dead, and their solar panels had rotted away, but they were still sharp, and they still stood as evidence of the type of chaos which once inhabited this room.

“Ah. Well, there we go.” Dipper nodded. “There’s metal plants at least…”

“Ooh! Dead killer robots! What a welcome change of pace!” Dipper turned to see Wendy examining a broken security drone. Strangely, this drone appeared perfectly intact on the outside. There wasn’t a single scratch or crack in its shell, although the glass appeared fogged up on the inside. “I wonder what did this guy in?” Wendy wondered out loud.

“I don’t know… Why’s it all fogged up?”

Dipper helped Wendy pry open the drone’s hatch, and they saw what had happened.

The drone had been eaten from the inside out. Although the drone’s outer glass shell was too hard for saws to cut, its mechanical innards were all exposed on the inside. And all these parts (power source, weapons systems, arms, etc.) had all been chopped up or eaten entirely.

As for the trapped robot that had done the damage… It was still there. It was long dead, and mostly decayed, but it was still recognizable. It looked almost identical to Juan and his mom, but about the size of a wolf, and with more pronounced saws. Obviously still the same species, just a different breed.

“Wow.” Wendy said, looking at the cat-bot. “Miserable way to go, huh? Starving to death inside a tiny glass bubble?”

“Yeah…” Dipper scratched his head. “…No kidding…”

They looked around at the rest of bay 44. There were a few more offline security drones, and a few more metal plants. Wendy put her hands on her hips. “Welp.” She surmised. “It’s official now. The robots are all aliens, and broke out of sector 43.”

“Yep.” Dipper nodded. “Aliens confirmed. Alien robots confirmed. Illuminati confirmed. Halflife 3 confirmed… Everything confirmed.”

“Really dude?” Wendy scoffed. “You’re memeing now?”

“Well, uh… Yeah, it just came to me I guess.”

“General Pineobi.” She said in a general Grievous voice. “You are a bold one.”

“…Is that a meme? I thought that was just a line from Revenge of the Sith.”

“Everything from the prequel trilogy is a meme.” She shrugged. “Anyway, back to the task at hand.”

“Right.” He nodded. “Right. So. They’re aliens. Broke out of sector 43.”

“But that doesn’t really explain much, y’know?” Wendy frowned. “Like, sure they’re aliens, but so what? I still have a lot of questions.”

“What questions?” Dipper asked.

“First of all.” Wendy stuck up her index finger, as if beginning a list. “If the metal life is from HERE, how did it get all the way out to the Forest of Daggers? It’s, like, 12 miles… Who moved it, and how?”

Dipper shrugged. “Maybe they took off the ceiling of 43, turned it over, put all the robots on it, and used it like a sled…? Of course, I don’t know how they’d do that…”

“Yeah.” Wendy shook her head. “Okay, now second question. WHY was this ship hauling a truckload of metal animals? These things are dangerous enough to eat a death drone alive! What the heck were they thinking bringing these along?”

Dipper shrugged again.

“Third question.” She counted off another finger. “In this ship, there’s the probatorium, which is for studying new specimens, and that’s sectors 1 through 12… And then there’s the passenger area, which is sectors 13 through 24… But then ‘organic cargo’, is sectors 25 through freakin’ 48… My question is: what the heck does ‘organic cargo’ mean??”

Dipper scratched his head. “Questions 2 and 3 are basically the same question.”

“Forth question.” She continued. “What caused this ship to crash?”

“Well… I don’t know that either. None of the diagnostic logs seemed to give any clues… Even Granny Shifter’s log hazed over the issue…”

“Yeah. Well, fifth question…” She lowered her voice. “The guy we just ran into down here… Is he the real McGucket??”

Dipper’s eyes grew wide, and he looked back the way they came. “Uh… I don’t know… The shifter is still in stasis in Ford’s lab; I checked a couple days ago… But… Wait… Are you saying…?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. We know from her tube’s label that Granny Shifter was ‘pregnant’, but we don’t know with how many… And if they all survived for this long… Or if she had a whole batch of eggs, or mixed twins or something… They could have--!”

Dipper (being a mixed twin himself) was quick to correct her. “TMI!”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry… Just had to get that out there, though… There could be hundreds of them, dude. Cross our fingers and hope our mutual friend was a single child… But just saying.”

“Okay… Well… Well… If McGucket is the shapeshifter… Or a shapeshifter… It’s certainly done its reading, much more than last time… It knew Stanford and Stanley were routinely down here… It knew that we confronted the metal life yesterday… It knew McGucket’s taken to building himself robot trousers… Heck, it even knew he uses the word ‘scrabdoodle’!”

“Yeah, but… But…” Wendy said. “Okay, now I’ve got me paranoid: what’s your name?”

“Mason. Middle?”

“Blerble.”

They both sighed.

“Can’t keep doing this.” Wendy said.

“Yeah.” Dipper agreed. “Not knowing who to trust.”

“Totally.”

“…Let’s rendezvous with McGucket.” Dipper decided. “Then head down to the engine room and download more data for Ford… See if we can find any more clues about the crash… Then we get the heck out of here.”

“Okay… And when we leave, let’s head straight to McGucket’s mansion, and see if he’s there too. If he is, that means he either has super-speed, or this one is a fake… But for now, we just keep an eye on him, but don’t give him a single hint that we suspect him.”

“Good idea.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

Twenty minutes later, not far from the blocked 43 entrance, they came around a corner and ran almost straight into the old man himself. He seemed to have changed significantly in the hour since they’d seen him; and not in a good way. It wasn’t his body, number of limbs, or eyeballs that had shifted, it was his mannerisms: he had an insane look in his eye now, a shaking in his hands, and he was on the verge of complete panic.

“EGAD!” He screeched when he saw the teens. “I don’t—I GEE! I WUZZIT?!? Who-who-who… Are yeh youuuu?!?” To their surprise, he reached into his overalls and pulled out an impressively large ray gun.

“WHOA!” Dipper yelped, fell on his butt, and raised his hands in surrender.

“Calm down there, bucko…” Wendy took a step back, and raised her hands too. “Whaddaya mean?”

“I saw… I saw…” He reached into his overalls again, and pulled out a beefy, steel computer. “I saw words!” He turned the screen toward them. “Words on a wall! Written in blood!” He explained, and read. “Loose mimic outside sector 8… No one to trust! That’s what it said, an’ I know it’s true! ‘Cause I done seen one! Years ago in Ford’s lab, an’ it mimicked PEOPLE! How do I know ya ain’t ‘em?!?”

Dipper and Wendy looked at each other. “We were about to ask you the same thing…” Dipper said.

McGucket gasped for air, and his eyes seemed to bulge out of his head. “I can’t… I’m the one doin’ the talkin’ and the askin’ here, Barney!!”

“Barney?” Wendy asked.

“Same gits fer you, Betty!” McGucket took several steps back, and his fingers closed around the trigger. “Yeh aliens… YEH ALIENS! Just up an’ give… Gimme my robopants and glue back!”

Wendy set the pants on the ground, and kicked them over without a complaint. Dipper did the same for the crate of adhesive.

“An’ raise yer hands!” McGucket yelped, as he reached down to put on the robo-pants (he seemed to have forgotten that their computer was still fried).

Dipper and Wendy didn’t move.

“AH SAID RAISE ‘EM!!” His gun was shaking as he gestured to their hands.

“Umm…” Dipper looked up at his raised hands. “They are raised…”

“ALL OF ‘EM!” McGucket was close to tears. “I kinuht deal with yer alien ways! Raise all yer other weird appendages and doohickies and thingums!”

“Dude.” Wendy told him. “Calm down.”

“YE ALL CALM DOWN!”

“McGucket, you’re not thinking clearly.” Dipper said, and took another step back. “We don’t have any more limbs to raise. Slow down…”

“Take a deep breath…” Wendy added.

“I’M WARNIN’ YEH!” McGucket’s shaking hands pointed the ray gun downward, and released a shot into the floor between them. The passage was instantly lit up by a bright green explosion, and a permanent mark was burned into the metal.

“WOAH!” Dipper jumped.

“GEEZ!” Wendy gasped.

“I’M SERIOUS!” McGucket yelled, and pointed the gun back at them. “I’LL SHOOT YEH ALIENS! GET OUT OF HERE! GO ON! GIT!”

“Okay.” Wendy said. “You win. We’ll git.” She began to retreat, with her hands still raised.

“STAY WHERE I KIN SEE YA!!”

“Okay.” She complied.

“Can we talk about this?” Dipper asked.

“NO, SHUT YER WORD-HOLE! YER GIST TRYIN’ TA TRICK ME!!”

“Okay. We’ll be quiet then.” Dipper agreed.

“WON’T TALK?? I WANT ANSWERS! START SINGIN’, BARNEY!” He pointed the gun at Wendy.

“What do you want?” Wendy asked.

He was crying now. “I wanna know me friends are safe…! What’d ye do with me friends…?? Yeh blasted aliens…”

“We are your friends.” Wendy said. “We’re human.”

“Human.” Dipper reached into his pocket, pulled out his knife, and made a small cut on the end of his finger. “Red blood.” He winced, and tried to remain calm as he showed McGucket the bright fluid. “Human.”

Wendy pulled out her own knife, and cut her own finger. “Red blood too.” She repeated, and showed him. “I’m human too. We both are.”

McGucket stared at them. “Yeh…” He sobbed. “Yer real…?”

“We are. We’re your friends.” Dipper said, pressing his self-inflicted injury into his vest to stop the bloodflow. “…We remember. Remember when we took down the blind eye together? We fought together with Soos and Mabel…”

“Soos…?”

“The fat one.” Dipper reminded him. “He taught you anime, remember? And found the dinosaur for the shack-tron?”

“Eh… Uh…”

“And Mabel.” Wendy said. “The lovely little girl who made us all sweaters? Remember her? We remember her too. Because we’re real. We know each other. We’re your friends.”

“We’re your friends, McGucket.” Dipper said. “We’re real.”

Slowly, a light seemed to dawn in the aged inventor’s eyes. The ray gun finally slipped from his fingers, and clattered noisily to a stop on the floor. Then he fell to his knees, clutched his heart with one hand, his head with the other, and began to weep.

“Me BRAIN!” He cried. “Me poor brain! I’m so sorry…! I’m so so sorry… I gist can’t even trust me own brain…” He gasped. “Me brain told me ta shoot ya! It told me… It told me ye weren’t who ye said… It told me yeh were in grave danger… Hurt or dyin’…  Yeh gotta un��erstand, I been havin’ odd nightmares… An’ they play with the little scraps of memories I can’t remember, an’ the gaps I haven’t filled… People mention things I don’t know, and tell me I was there… An’ people I care about seem ta die… Or do they…? Maybe that’s just the nightmares too… I don’t know, I gist don’t know… I’m so sorry… I’m SO SORRY!”

Dipper breathed a sigh of relief, and shared a glance with Wendy. “It’s okay.” Dipper told the old man. “It’s okay.”

“We forgive you.” Wendy said.

“I thought I fixed ye stupid gull-dang thing…” He pounded his skull with both hands. “Now yeh go an’ break again… Come on brain, yeh kin do it… Yeh kin do it… Just a few more decades, brain… Then yeh kin die and take a breather on God’s golden shore… But ye’ll get someone killed before then… Lord have mercy, ye’ll get someone killed…” And he kept crying.

“Come on man.” Wendy walked up to him, grasped the straps of his overalls, and lifted him to his feet. “It’s okay. We just have one more stop, and they we’re out of here, dude. This place is bad on the nerves anyway. Nobody should be down here alone… (Dipper, grab his blaster, will ya?)”

Dipper picked up the ray gun.

“Yeh… I never will again… Never again…” McGucket promised. “I’m so sorry for almost shootin’ you fellers…”

“Let’s talk about something else.” Dipper suggested. “How about sector 42? What was in sector 42, Dr. McGucket?”

“Eh… In 42… In 42, there was a dang-blasted enormous computer in storage… And some organic cargo that looked like mice… All in giant shippin’ containers… But… Everything was a mess.”

“Describe the mess. What did it look like? What caused it? Come on man, you can remember.”

“The…” McGucket hesitated as he thought. And as his mind drifted away from dark paths and back to the familiar grounds of science and technology, he seemed to relax. His shoulder’s lost their tenseness, and his breathing came easier. “All organic bodies in storage perished during the initial crash.” He began. “But when the metallic creatures breached the bulkhead into 42, they ignored any organic matter and started to attack the computer in storage. They consumed the main processor and solid-state data core first, making special preference to silicon chips and copper wiring, likely to supplement the iron and titanium diet easily acquired from the main hull. The security system attempted intervention, but was treated with extreme hostility. Several containment drones were disabled when captured subjects dug into their primary static-energy power core, although their saws were unable to mar the external silicate shell…”

“Hey, see?” Dipper said. “Your brain’s still fine, McGucket!”

“Eh…?”

“Yeah!” Wendy said. “Were you just listening to yourself talk, dude?? You know science and robots better than anyone on the planet! You’re still smarter than all of us, man! Where would we be without you?”

“Don’t be ashamed of your brain.” Dipper said. “You’ve got the best, McGucket.”

“But… But I still feel crazy sometimes… And I thought I fixed my brain… I guess… I guess it don’t take much ta break it again…”

“It’s fine, man.” Dipper told him. “I get it… Sometimes… Sometimes it seems like my body turns against me too.”

“Yeah, it does.” Wendy vouched for him. “His body turns against him ALL the time. He gets all itchy and sweaty just randomly.” Dipper frowned at this. “But it’s alright!” Wendy continued. “That’s what friends are for! To make up for what we don’t have. To be strong when we’re weak. Right?”

“Aww… Thanks guys.” McGucket nodded. “Thanks… Thanks fer lookin’ out for me…”

“You’re a friend.” Wendy said. “And that don’t change.”

“Never.” Dipper promised.

“Never…” McGucket rubbed his eyes. “Thank yeh. Thank yeh both…” And then, pulling his resolve together, he started down the passage back toward the engine room.

Once he’d gone on ahead outside whispering range, Wendy hissed down at Dipper. “I don’t know… Think he’s a shifter or not?”

Dipper watched their old friend for a few seconds longer. “…No…” Dipper answered. “He’s good.”

They reached the engine room.

“Ah! Ain’t she just a fine machine?” McGucket asked, gesturing to the massive pillars. A smile spread across his face, as he imagined this ship as it would have been in its glory days. “These engines kin play with gravity, play with physics, play with probability… My, it could get yeh gist about anywhere in the ol’ milky way in just a couple months, I reckon… Quite a fine piece a work, eh? I gist wish I coulda seen her in ‘er prime…”

“Well…” Dipper recalled one of the logs he’d seen the previous night. “You think you could get it working again?”

“Eh… I don’t know…” McGucket scratched his head. “I been a peakin’ and a ponderin’ this place fer a while now… An I think some of the engines might still be intact… But reactor 5 is the only primary power source left even close to intact, and I can’t figure how to work it… Ah well. Some other day, perhaps.” McGucket reached into his overalls and pulled out a homemade harpoon gun, so to climb back up the engine room to the ladder.

“Uh, actually…” Dipper put a hand on his shoulder. “When Stan and Ford were down here a couple days ago, they actually found a working control room… That’s where they got the data for your app! Wendy and I were going to get some more data… Maybe you’d like to see it? There could be a way to operate the reactor from in there…”

“Eh… Uh… Sure. We kin give it a quick lookie.” McGucket put away the harpoon, and followed them away from the ladder, and down deeper into the ship. They squeezed their way beneath the pillars, into, between, over and under some other machinery, and finally found themselves at an absurdly thick pair of blast doors. Wendy stuck a piece of alien metal into the crack, and levered it open. Then they turned on their flashlights to see past the darkness, and took a step through.

Dipper stopped after this first step, half in bewilderment, half in horror.

This really didn’t look like a ‘control room’ at all; it looked like a scene from a haunted house. There were alien bodies everywhere, all lying in various positions of pain, panic, or grief. But strangely, none of them were rotted. They weren’t skeletons, like there were elsewhere in the ship. These ones appeared mummified. Dried, flakey, shriveled, but WHOLE… As if they were instantly sterilized as they died, or as if they died by intense heat… Odd indeed… Dust and ash filled the room’s air with a dry, thick taste, and Dipper wondered if they were even getting enough oxygen.

As if the bodies weren’t enough, the screens, levers, knobs and buttons on the walls were almost entirely obscured by chaos. This chaos took the form of smears and stains and dust and scratch marks, but most of all, there was the graffiti. Every available surface was sloppily scrawled over with these various paints, in every conceivable color, size, and font. None of them were neatly written or orderly, and the handwriting was of a quality usually reserved only for distracted toddlers. It would be mesmerizing, if a train wreck was mesmerizing.

“OH MY!” McGucket put his hands to his head when he saw the bodies and graffiti, and turned to Dipper and Wendy with a horrified look. For a moment, he seemed as petrified as the bodies. “First time I ever been here… An… Oh my…”

“Yeah. Don’t worry.” Dipper said. “Everything’s dead… Been dead for a long, long time. They probably wouldn’t even make good zombies at this point.”

“I… I know... But…” McGucket said. “I can feel it…”

“Feel what?”

McGucket choked slightly. “Madness.” He whispered.

“Ooh.” Wendy frowned.

Her and Dipper’s eyes traveled up to the graffiti on the walls, suddenly curious.

“I can’t do it…” McGucket whimpered.

“Can’t do what?”

“Can’t take another step into this room…” His hands began to shake, and he pulled his computer out and handed it to Dipper. Then he pointed to the terminal at the far end of the room. “You have to download the data… I can’t… I… I have to wait outside…”

Dipper nodded, and began to step his way over the bodies and toward the back of the room.

As for McGucket himself, he left them there and rushed out. When he was alone, he knelt down on the metal floor, and began to pray earnestly for mercy. For he didn’t want to stand around and read words written in blood. He didn’t want to examine bodies, or poke and prod at buttons. He felt a darkness here. Some kind of evil, lurking to break into his soul. It was a feeling that seemed familiar from somewhere, although he could no more place the memory than he could explain it. All he knew was that he wanted to flee from it. He had had enough of this ship, and he wanted to get out. Get out immediately.

Back inside the control-room-turned-tomb, Wendy held up the tablet, and began to translate the graffiti. Dipper left the computer plugged into the terminal, and joined her to read:

-Every night I see it. Every day I live it: the pain the child of our greed will birth, as it lashes out indiscriminately at man, woman and child. Surely, some mortals are doomed sooner than others.

-For the wild men, for the reckless men, for the trapped men, for the hungry men; there now sits an advocate. He comes with glad tidings of doom and despair.

-All your sins lay naked before her. She sees your rotten center.

-All is meaningless under the sun. Soon it will end beneath the Earth.

-The Captain was told exactly what he wanted to hear.

-Terror levels holding at 39.72%. Projected 65.21% when they realize the nightmares are true.

-She completely eradicated them. Except for a juvenile, which followed after her like a confused child…

-They cut down the tree, and it fell into ice.

-There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Kill him before he kills you.

-Your child the monster will kill them all. Sacrifice yourself to sacrifice it to save them, why don’t you?

-Last night I dreamt of fools. They misused the ship, and it became their tomb. Do you ever get the creeping feeling that they’re you?

-The prophecy seemed far away, but finally we’ve reached the day. Give up the past. Embrace the strange. Everything you care about will change.

-ƉN::ᶌ and Ɖg@}Nᶌ will be here.

They read carefully through these translations. And then read through them again.

“Man.” Dipper said. “Why do prophecies always have to be so vague?”

“I know, right?” Wendy agreed. “I feel like I’m reading evil fortune cookies… Why did they even write this stuff down?”

“Well.” Dipper guessed. “Granny Shifter’s log mentioned an ‘anomaly’ in the universe… And now here, we can see that the crew was starting to have… Prophetic, weird nightmares… And when you consider that all this happened a real long time ago… I think our suspect list is pretty short.”

“Hmm…” Wendy nodded, and a smile spread across her face. “You’re right.” She said. “I guess there’s really only one guy that… Fits the Bill.”

Dipper pondered this pun for several seconds. Finally, he nodded, and said. “That pun was terriBill.”

“Oh… Bill me later.”

“I suppose I’d better Billd up a tolerance.”

They both guffawed.

“Oh, too much… Anyway…” Wendy pointed at a few of the scribblings. “These just sound like ‘wil ol’ Billy, don’t they?”

Dipper laughed. “They do, don’t they? That whole ‘glad tidings of doom and despair’ especially… Just his type of humor…”

“Yeah… And that ‘embrace the strange, everything you care about will change’…” Wendy laughed when she said it outloud. “Man, check it out: it RHYMES when you translate it into English! It’s like he knew we would find it one day…”

“Woah, it DOES rhyme! Soooo creepy…”

“MAN I’m glad he’s dead! That was one twisted little nacho chip.”

“Agreed.” He nodded.

The computer chimed.

“Oh hey!” Dipper jogged over to it. “The download’s done!”

He began to sort through the files. All the logs and data records seemed very neatly organized and categorized… All except for one. One file was separate from all the rest, as if it were added to the system later. He opened it.

- My name is C*:C2M]~, and I am the last sane Engineer.

“The first and fourth letters of his name look a little like ‘C’s.” Wendy said. “Let’s call this guy Dr. Chuckles.”

“Fair enough.” Dipper agreed.

-After the crash, we barricaded ourselves in here, to try and keep out the radiation from the meltdown. If we open the doors, we die. If we keep them shut, I guess we just die slower. But in the end, the radiation is the least of our worries; instead, we fear the deeper things we cannot see: the bloodbath in the mindscape… My name is C*:C2M]~, and I’m sure that I’m the last sane Engineer.

-I’m not sure why the engineering team was affected so badly by the mind event. Maybe it’s our work so near the malfunctioning uncertainty drive; all kinds of improbable things start to happen around it. That machine breaks and reforms reality when it’s working RIGHT… I’m not qualified to even SPECILATE what happens when it’s working WRONG… I think this darkness might get very… Very… Interesting. My name is C*:C2M]~, and I’m reasonably confident that I’m the last sane engineer. At least the only one who can still write such lengthy notes…

-The men started having nightmares 63 days ago, and since then they have proven prophetic. They predicted the crash, they predicted our imprisonment in the control room, they predicted the Captain’s error… They even foreshadowed our own madness. All this means that we’re somehow in communication with something we don’t understand… Something highly… Weird. It may be improbable enough for the uncertainty drive to manipulate. Problem solver that I am, I will see what I can do against this weirdness… My name is C*:C2M]~, and I think I’m the last sane engineer… I honestly feel fine except for the extra eye growing inside my skull; the one looking inward…

-Based on readings from the sensors and from the nightmares, I can only conclude that we are in a most dire situation: A time anomaly will exist in the future. For reasons I can’t imagine, the local region on this planet seems to possess a potent improbability field, and this field will one day allow an enormous time-space paradox to achieve potential here. If left unchecked, or uncontained, this disruption could result in an ZK end-of-the-universe scenario, or at least a YK restructuring-of-reality scenario. Time readings seem to strongly indicate that the anomaly is intelligent, and certainly foreign to this dimension… I think I now have enough data to reprogram the uncertainty drive into a prison for our new god. The perpetual motion emergency generators will be able to keep it running until long after me… If I don’t take the deal, that is… My name is C*:C2M]~, and I might be the last sane engineer…

-But now I wonder: why would I activate the containment field? The anomaly is either trying to warn us… Or taunt us… Or humble us… Or overpower us as a god… I, for one, think it must be a jolly good friend… A most trustworthy individual… My muse has only ever told the truth… Why would I sleep when I can dream standing up? My name is C*:C2M]~, and I could once have been the last sane engineer…

-I dreamed an abomination of warping flesh was loose in the rest of the ship, sent to cull the unfaithful. However, I’m glad that ƉN::ᶌ and Ɖg@}Nᶌ will be able to outsmart it. I’m sure they will be arriving soon… In fact, I foresee that they’re arriving NOW. Forget radiation; I think I’ll open the door, let them in, and introduce them to our friends! My name is C*:C2M]~, and I don’t quite believe in sanity anymore… What do you two think?

“Huh.” Dipper said.

“Huh.” Wendy said, and shook her fist angrily. “BIIIIILL…!”

“Wait.” Dipper frowned. “That’s not the end of the file… There’s more…”

-To whom it may concern: This is ƉN::ᶌ and Ɖg@}Nᶌ.

-We came to this control room to permanently deactivate the ship, and remove the power control couplings for reactor 5 (so that its abilities and technology couldn’t become a weapon for our enemy, as the drones have.) However, we found the engine room exactly as you see it: C*:C2M]~ and his colleagues perished in a twisted sort of way. We don’t know what happened here, or what sort of external enemy or anomaly caused the disabling of their minds. However, it seems that, before he perished, C*:C2M]~ reprogrammed the uncertainty drive to combat this enemy, although he never activated it.

-We have activated it.

-I don’t know who would be reading this. But it doesn’t matter, the same applies: if you are in any way qualified to understand the anomaly, or how better to deal with this extreme threat, please come and talk with us. By now we will have fortified ourselves at the coordinates 156.33/27.81. If you require our help, or if you require the power control couplings for the last reactor, you know where to find us.

-Keep the uncertainty drive field active.

-ƉN::ᶌ and Ɖg@}Nᶌ were here.

“Betty and Barney again?” Wendy scoffed. “They sure get around, don’t they?”

“Wait, hold on!” Dipper scratched his head. “How did Betty and Barney get past the radiation? It was enough to fry everyone else instantly…”

“I don’t know, but check it out!” Wendy said. “The field must have been what kept Weirdmageddon from going global! I guess a lot of people owe Dr. Chuckles their lives…”

“No, they owe Betty and Barney their lives.” Dipper corrected her. “Dr. Chuckles was just a nutcase! I mean, did you listen to his ramblings? This guy went insane, started to think Bill was a friend, and then fried everyone! Like, seriously! This guy was bonkers!”

“Ha ha! Totally!” Wendy laughed. “At first he was all like ‘I’m the last sane engineer’, then he was all like ‘I think I’m the last sane engineer’, and then he was totally off the brink, and was all ‘screw sanity, I feel like a tan!’”

“Ha ha! Yeah…! Ranting and raving with the worst of them…”

“Just writing down more nonsense fortune cookie prophesies…”

From outside the control room, McGucket’s voice rang out. “You kids think right hard about it!”

Thinking their elder might be in trouble, Dipper and Wendy rushed out of the control room to come to his aid. But he wasn’t in trouble. He was just sitting on top of a large pipe, hugging his knees, rocking back and forth on his backside.

“Think right hard about it!” He repeated, turning to them. “Y’all’ve stumbled into matters too great for ya, hear?!? Insanity? Brain demons? Suicide? Prophecy? These are too dark for you kids!” He shook a finger at them. “You don’t understand them yet! I hear y’all laughin’ and jokin’ and pokin’ fun in there, but these AIN’T LAUGHING MATTERS!! Prophecy ain’t for laughin’. Bill ain’t for laughin’. Madness ain’t for laughin’. And most of all, those scriblin’s ain’t for laughin! Yeh should stay warry and aware! Because who knows? If thems really was prophecies, perhaps some of ‘em were written fer YOU!”

He stood up, and took a step towards them. “Kids, you’re right to be afeared! Listen to me, because when I was younger, I pursued these very things too deep! I took a step much too far! I dipped my mind in places no mind should be, and I uttered a prophecy of my own that day! I said ‘When Gravity Falls and Earth becomes sky, fear The Beast With Just One Eye!’ I said that! I don’t remember how or why, but I did! Yeh kin laugh at how vague it is, yeh kin laugh at how silly it sounds, but yer laughin’ don’t change that these are words to be heeded! Don’t you dare laugh at the mad alien engineer in there! Because if you laugh at him, you laugh at everybody else who ever tried to warn you! You laugh at everybody else who ever made a fool of themselves just trying to do right! You laugh at everyone who fate ever drove off the edge! Everyone whose precious brain was ever snatched from them! Everyone who died not understandin’ themselves…”

He shook his head. “That man didn’t do nothin’ funny… That man didn’t do nothin’ wrong… Ain’t his fault what happened, but… But he done the best he could… Eh… Kids, don’t laugh at the madman. The madman’s just like you ‘er me, ‘sept he don’t know what he doin’… Kids, you know me… I was the madman once… I un’erstan’ the madman…”

McGucket walked back to the control room, took a few trembling steps inside, and located the alien closest to the door: the one that had opened it, and let the radiation in. McGucket took off his coat, and laid it over this alien’s face. Then he bowed, closed his eyes, and crossed himself. “I respect the madman…” He said.

And they became a little sadder, and a little wiser.

The humans finally saw fit to leave. They crawled back up through the machinery, grappled back up the wall to the ladder, and ascended.

Soon they were standing in the light again. Wendy stood up, stretched her aching back, and took a deep breath of the fresh Summer air. McGucket blinked a few times as he adjusted to the sunlight, and listened to the chirping of birds. And Dipper cast one last look at the dark hatchway in the ground, and considered the ancient labyrinth below. Call it what you will: a shipwreck, an ancient secret, an alien saucer, a tomb… But the truth remains that there was a darkness there. He’d taken Wendy here on a whim, and now he saw his error: this wasn’t something to treat lightly. Never again would he go in without purpose.

Wendy’s mind, a little boggled and overwhelmed by the events of the day, just decided to enjoy the summer air for a while. She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth, and felt thankful that she lived on such a beautiful planet as this. Such a beautiful day, wasn’t it? Too bad the Captain and Dr. Chuckles and Betty and Barney never got to enjoy this planet. Too bad all they ever saw was the inside of that rotting, derelict husk of their vessel. Earth is nice… I’m sure they would’ve enjoyed it…

“Wait a minute!” Wendy said, turning to Dipper. “Betty and Barney said they were leaving the wreck, right??”

“Yeah, to set up ‘fortifications’…” Dipper remembered. “They gave some coordinates…”

“And those coordinates…” Wendy asked. “Where do they lead??”

Dipper did some quick calculations in his head, to convert the alien coordinates to human ones. “Uh…” He answered. “Not far… Wait a minute…” He pulled out his map, traced across a few lines, and his finger landed right where he’d hoped: the red outline he’d drawn to represent the Forest of Daggers. The coordinates led to somewhere inside.

“Well.” Dipper said.

“Well well well wellwellwell…” Wendy agreed. “Betty and Barney are now officially the most plot-relevant vandals I’ve ever met.”

Mabel came trudging up the stairs to behold an empty bedroom.

This struck her as odd. Shouldn’t Dipper be here to welcome her home from the hospital…?

Suddenly she remembered her phone. It had rung earlier, and that must have been Dipper. Her phone had been in her right pocket though, and since her right hand was covered in a bandage, she hadn’t been able to answer. Now, she realized she could just reach over with her left hand. “Silly Mabel!” She laughed at herself. “All pockets are for all hands! This is a non-discriminatory, hand-inclusive environment.”

She reached her left hand into her right pocket, and pulled out her phone. It was a group text to her, Stan, and Ford.

-Wendy and i r going 2 explore CSO for clues.

-Will b careful

-If not home by 6:00, come with guns!

She glanced at the clock. It was 4:30. Then she racked her brain. CSO…? What did that stand for? Cookies So Owesome? No, awesome has an ‘A’… Crowded Soap Opera? No, Soap Opera wasn’t Dipper’s thing… Cop-Summoning Octagon? Why would an octagon summon cops? Crazy Soup Orangutan? She’d always wanted one of those, but why would Dipper go to one for clues…? No wait! That’s it! Crash Site Omega! The alien spaceship Ford found! That was it!

Well, she hoped they were having fun. Half the movies that he and Wendy watched had alien spaceships, right? That must mean they thought they were cool, right? Maybe they even thought they were romantic… Maybe they would get in a relationship! No, Dipper already had a girlfriend… Well maybe he could dump her? It wasn’t working out so nice anyway… Oh, whatever.

Waddles came up behind Mabel and nuzzled her ankle. She bent down to hug him, and her mind drifted back to Juan, her mysteriously-teleported-away-and-now-missing pet. The little robo-kitten that had been such a dear part of her life this week… Only to have his own mom show up as a total jerk and try to saw down the house… And then the whole thing where they shot the mom and Juan thought she was dead, and then Juan sawed Mabel, got kicked by Stan, and disappeared in a flash of light…

Where are you now? Who took you away? Is your mom okay? Would he ever forgive us for how we treated you? Could you ever love me again? Juan, if only you knew I forgave you… She glanced down at her bandage. I don’t hold this against you…

As if in response to her thoughts, she heard a small scraping noise coming from her bed.

Her and Waddles both froze, and looked at the source.

Juan’s original containment box was sitting on her bed. The same one Wendy had used back when she first found him. The box was a military-grade steel ammo crate, and although Juan could cut through, he found it very difficult, so he usually didn’t try.

The noise had come from inside the box.

She approached it cautiously. It looked just as it was when she’d last seen it… But who put it on her bed? She thought she’d left it in the closet yesterday…

And why did it have a note attached to it? She bent over and examined the paper. The words had been typed instead of written, so there was no chance of telling the author by the handwriting. But the note said:

Enjoy the time you have with him.

Because it’s not right for him to stay here long.

Find a good place for him, Mabel. We believe in you.

Be wise and loving. Be his hero. Save his life.

Could it be? Could it BE? Mabel reached into the drawer on her bedside table, and retrieved a pair of leather gloves, just in case. Then she gently turned the box toward her, unlatched it, and opened the lid.

Juan stared back at her, alive and well.

She didn’t know how, she didn’t know why, but he was back. And that was all that mattered to her. He was safe. She removed the lid entirely. The robot huddled back into the far corner of the box, and timidly retracted his saws as far as they would go.

She reached in a glove to pet him. To let him know it was alright. That she still loved him, and that he didn’t have to feel sorry or afraid…

But did he?

Stan had wanted to kill him last time, after what he did. Same with Ford. And Dipper hadn’t tried to stop him. No, Juan was right to feel afraid. They might kill him if they knew he was back! That means… Mabel would just have to keep this a secret. It pained her to do so, especially against her own family, but it was the only way to keep Juan alive. She would have to keep him here and not tell anyone… Let him suck on the outlets when nobody was watching. Keep him safe in his box the rest of the time. Play with him when they were alone.

And as soon as possible, find that ‘good place’ for him… Whoever had saved him last night had trusted her, and her alone, with the safety and well-being of this creature.

And she accepted the challenge.

She turned toward Waddles, and shook her head. Waddles met her eyes, and snorted a vow to secrecy. It was nice having a friend who understood these grave matters. Even if that friend was a pig.

[denouxments]

amber heard. cisfemale. she/her. — did you see { elizabeth trevor }, i haven’t seen the { thirty-one } year old in a while! you know, they’re a { fashion designer }, and have been living in jersey city for { eight years }. some say they’re { fussy & fanciful }, but i think they’re { vivacious & compassionate }. regardless, i’m glad { eliza } is here.

backstory

here comes my actual waifu for laifu, eliza ( i would actually die for her, okay ) ! you can find her dossier page HERE and her pinterest board HERE ( she’s one of the muses i’ve had for a literal decade, so why there isn’t more stuff in here ? couldn’t tell ya )

okay so she’s kind of a princess. okay not really, but she is the only scion to a very wealthy family in the drilling & realty business in london. they’re essentially right on the cusp of being granted a dukedom. so, yeah, a pretty deep money line there, and everyone thought the line was going to die because her mom was told she couldn’t have kids. but then eliza showed up and they loved her !!

they loved her a little too much tbh. they weren’t around a whole lot due to business, so she was primarily left in the care of nannies in the estate. they had strict rules: she was to be homeschooled. her parents dictated everything she watched and all the books she consumed. she was not allowed out unsupervised, and all of her friends were picked out, in a sense. 

they expected eliza to be happy with this life, but unfortunately the trevors were granted with a social creature of a daughter, and all she wanted was to roam away from the gilded cage she was placed in. she wanted friends that she chose. she wanted the ability to go to public school. she didn’t care for trinkets or material possessions; she wanted freedom 

it took a long time, but eventually she convinced her parents to let her attend a private, all-girls boarding school so that she could have . . . some form of a social life.

she made a couple genuine friends, but for the most part the other girls didn’t take too kindly to her. she never returned their cruelty, but that was mostly because she didn’t understand that it was cruelty. that’s just how friends talked to each other, right ?

eliza essentially took all the prim and proper training she had gotten and threw it in the trash. she was still sweet and courteous, but her curious nature made it so she wasn’t the best at following the rules, and she really had an issue with social cues and personal space

she had . . . okay grades. she was really more focused on finally able to be social

across the lake from this boarding school was the all-boys sister school. ( there’s a movie i i was inspired from, but i can’t remember what it was rip ) there were occasional late night rendezvous between some adventurous girls and some adventurous boys. it was one of these rendezvous that allowed eliza to meet aiden gallagher.

aiden was everything eliza had read in fairytales. he was princely and charming and 3 years older and so, so handsome. he was always 2nd best to his best friend, but to eliza he was everything

aiden and eliza spent the better part of their upper-secondary years together, but of course her parents wouldn’t approve, seeing as they were surely planning to marry her off to a duke or something, so they had to keep it secret. 

then the two became engaged and she couldn’t keep it a secret anymore. unfortunately, her fears were correct. not only did her parents not approve, but they forbade her from seeing aiden ever again. 

welp, too bad mum and dad, cuz eliza ran away with aiden to the united states, leaving her fortune, her family, and everything else behind for a grungy little apartment in nyc

most would say that having to start over would be difficult as hell, but for eliza it was just another adventure. she was finally free from the gilded cage she was set in and she was ready to live her life to the fullest. aiden followed his dreams of starting a bar in the hustle and bustle, meanwhile eliza landed a job as a model. it was good money, and the 2 managed to be okay

after 3 years of being engaged, eliza was starting to get a bit antsy. whenever she asked, aiden would always say that they’d get married when they were ready. well dude ! she was ready ! after a few sets of bickering and perseverance, she finally managed to get a date out of him

girl went ALL THE FUCK OUT. by this point she’d gotten a more 9-5 job as an assistant contemporary and ballroom dance instructor, so she started saving up money from that and modeling for the big, fabulous wedding she so wanted. she probably spent a small fortune on planning for this wedding

big day comes, okay. she’s got her dream venue, her dream dress, a prince charming, she is READY. but you know who isn’t? aiden. he’s not ready. not only is he not ready, but he fell in love with someone else. he leaves eliza at the alter and she doesn’t know What To Do

she doesn’t even get her stuff from his place. she just goes and stays at one of her bridesmaid’s place. 

she’s in a state of shock for weeks, and its during this period of time that she realizes that she literally does not know what her dreams were besides living happily ever after with this guy. she doesn’t know what she’s doing, where she’s going to go. she’s totally lost at this point

feeling like she doesn’t have anything else, she goes back home. its rough, especially not being in contact with her parents for 4 years. she’s their only baby and they love her, so of course they let her back ( though there are plenty of ‘told you so’s’ tacked on )

she goes back to studying for her role to take over as the heiress to the family fortune. she’s miserable, but she doesn’t know what else to do so she just accepts her lot in life

during her free time, she sneaks away to work at charity events under the guise of good public relations. she also finds herself doodling fashion designs, as she’d always enjoyed that realm of life. the hobby gradually becomes a passion, but she doesn’t realize that its something she could see herself doing for forever until . . .

she’s with her family for 2 years when she finds out that her fears from years ago are more true than she could have ever realized. not long after her 23rd birthday, her family gets into a bit of a scandal with their drilling business. its pretty bad. looks like the money vat they’ve got going is going to dry up. as a way to try and salvage something, her parents call on an old friend who is part of a minor dukedom asking if maybe they’d be willing to marry off their son to eliza.

eliza does NOT like this. she’s always wanted to marry for love, not for money, but her parents need her and she’s still super Lost so . . . fuck it right ?

not fuck it. she hates the guy. she’s trying so hard to resign herself but he’s infuriating and she just needs to Go so, uh, guess it’s her turn to run from the alter !! its like this whole eye opening experience for her. like she Wakes Up and realizes what she wants. while she does definitely want to get married, she definitely down’t want This. 

so she’s Gone and this time she’s definitely not coming back. she’s essentially ruined her family’s life in her eyes and she really cannot handle that shame. 

she moves back to the east coast, but this time she crashes with an old friend that has found her way to jersey city. eventually she gets her own place though, a nice apartment in a highrise. its very different from the estate she grew up in, but its better because it isn’t a cage

she gets back into the fashion industry, but this time its moreso in the designer aspect. her modeling turns into helping the other girls look 10/10 and its Nice. she’s pretty sure she’s found what she wants to do. so much so that she winds up starting her own brand

that’s been going on for about 5 years now, and its going pretty freaking swell !!

its been 8 years since her last near marriage, and to be honest she hasn’t had any truly serious relationships since aiden, which was almost 17 years ago. she’s dated and been with folks, but nothing that’s made her feel the way he did. its kind of a bummer because she always planned to be married before 30, but its fine, yknow !! she can just be a . . . successful career woman. she’s definitely NOT sad about it ( she is rip. she wants kids and a white picket fence and a guy that makes her feel like a PRINCESS )

that was a LOT i am SO SORRY

personality

an actual fucking sundrop okay. she brings so much light into my life and she’d probably bring a lot of light into your muses’ lives

super generous and kind. super charitable and wants everyone to be happy and smiling

still doesn’t get a lot of social cues and still kinda has that personal space issue when she gets super excited ( loves to hug and hold hands. physical touch is . . . so important )

honestly think like . . . giselle from enchanted at the end of the movie and also rapunzel from tangled. elle woods is also pretty accurate for certain moments. but with Sleek Business Woman Aesthetic

honestly if it was up to her she’d show up to work in a cute blouse and skirt combo but bare feet :/

if you couldn’t tell, she’s a horribly hopeless romantic. she wants a prince charming so bad, but due to her previous romantic experiences she’s more careful and doesn’t fall in love as easily as she used to

can be kinda judgy of others sometimes, especially about their fashion sense ( the actual fashion police has arrived )

doesn’t do well with people that try to get rises out of people for fun

determined to a fault, considering a lot of her ideas are unrealistic. 

sometimes she makes it work and then other times she can be found crying in the bathroom of her office because everything fell through

can sometimes get her priorities backwards :/ can blow off important things, or push the work onto other people because she has other things she’d rather do or thinks are more important ( even though they really aren’t )

has all the proper training to be a debonair, posh woman, but chooses instead to be as down to earth as possible. you can’t take the fashion style away from her though

has quite a few hobbies due to her time alone. her favorite hobbies are fashion design ( her passion ! ), dancing, and sfx makeup ( yes, you read that right. special effects makeup )

you’d think because of her disney princess aesthetic she’d be a charming singer . . . no. she is tone deaf. can’t even play instruments. would literally fuck up the triangle. its bad.

she can be coordinated in dancing and stitching, but in her day-to-day life she is SO clumsy

loves kids ! loves family ! loves so much ! wants that life so bad !

gives off such an intimidating vibe nowadays but is literally just . . . a marshmallow

kinda misses her parents, kinda doesn’t. mostly just . . . ignores that she ever even had parents

she has a pet cat named leia who is the best and looks like the cat from this instagram

does not at all ever talk about her background. if someone were to recognize her she’d rather they just . . . shhhhhh please ( actually highkey using a fake surname asdjflasj )

she cured my depression, okay

connections

an assistant at work for her to use and abuse but for her to not realize she’s doing it because she’s kinda nice about it but yeah there are some Issues there

PALS. GOOD FRIENDS. A GREAT SQUAD. SHE NEEDS BUDS

maybe the old bridesmaid that moved to jersey city that she moved in with after the duke incident

some exes that lasted a couple months

some dudes that finally showed her just how dickish some guys could be :/

coffee catchup friends~

someone she just Does Not get along with, really brings out the mean bitch in her

someone she’s tutoring in dance ( cuz she still tries to fit that hobby into her schedules like a Fool )

ride or die bff

someone she’s friendzoned

maybe someone she’s interested in and they’re also interested in her but because of Reasons they’re not together and its just a lot of back and forth and AHHH will they won’t they basically

a pal that gets her out for some drinks and dancing and tries to get her to flirt around but she just Can’t

if your muse has kids plz let her near them so she can cry and go through 20 midlife crisis. also works for her to know your muses’ parents if your muse is on the younger side. she just needs to cry

if someone wanted to bring in aiden or the girl he left her at the alter for i would literally cry great tears of joy. just hmu before you do so obvi

anything please i just want everything thank you <3

[justalittlemango]

Hmmm

So uh... I haven't posted on this Tumblr for a while. A few months by the looks of it? That last post was the beginning of this year. And now it's 20th August 2021.

So what happened? Also ugh the formatting on this site. Welp, my last post seemed to be a lot about my now-ex. I'll call him Tit as I think that's an appropriate name. So yeah, he did come back sometime after I wrote that post. He came back. He seemed to have been feeling better. It was nice to see him happy and things pretty much went back to how they were before, even better if anything. Sadly that was only temporary! Well, I say sadly. Sad at the time. I don't care these days.

Something happened, he lost it over me doing literally nothing. I knew he had problems with my mental health but I don't like to be accused of all sorts when all I try to do is help. I knew at that time, that was the calling point. Cutting off ties. Because my health both mentally and physically could not deal with everything he was putting me through. I cut him off. It felt sad but I knew I had to do it. And fast forward six months later, there's been no contact between us. Thank god.

So.. that was always fun.. I lost my friends who I had met through Tit. I knew that was coming as well. I can still be mad over that, but at the end of the day, who's side are they going to stick by? Mine (someone they've only known for a few months) or his (someone they adore and known for years even.) I guess the outcome here was kind of obvious. I wish I could say I didn't care it happened, but it did hurt me. When I was already going through so much hurt just seeing that was not nice. Thankfully I was never confronted before it happened, I was just swiftly deleted/unfriended/removed and that's that.

That was the second time in a 7/8 month span that I lost friends because of these love problems. So all in all? I'm pretty fucking tired of that happening lol. Anyway, these people are irrelevant now and no longer play a part in my life. So I just need to forget about them.

So did things get any better? Yes! I met someone new. My Dommy. I joined this server in attempt to make some friends and play games with (since the friends I once did that with departed..) so I thought I'd shoot my shot there. It started off okay, I was making friends and it was fun. I met Dommy in there. There was something that caught my eye about him when I would see him chatting and stuff. We spoke to each other through DMs for a bit and played games together. It was so much fun. And the more I got to know about him the more I was like ... My god ... Because I knew I was going to catch feelings for him. Everything he was telling me about himself just made the feelings grow more and more. Like he just kept ticking my boxes in what I seek in a partner.

At first I didn't wanna catch feelings, mostly due to the fact he's 18, and I was 23 (now I'm 24 so yay). I felt the age gap would've been too weird and I wouldn't usually consider anyone that's under 21 to be a potential partner. But god it was so hard to think like that when the more I learnt about him, the more these feelings kept growing. He just knew exactly what to say. His personality and everything. He's so fun and kind. So wholesome. Positive. I find him so relatable too. I definitely didn't expect this for someone who is quite frankly, fresh into adulthood. But here we are!

Heh, let's just say I tried to dim my feelings down. And it definitely didn't work. And I remember thinking at first like, oh god he wouldn't want feelings for me I'm like 5 years older than him LOLLL. But boy was I wrong! About a month after chatting and playing games together (quite frequently too) - he told me he had a crush on me. And I remember how great that felt. It felt so... fucking... amazing. To read everything he said to me. I really didn't think he'd feel that way.. I had my suspicions on somethings but they were more just me being overly hopeful. And of course, I had to tell him I crushed him back. I had the same feelings. And ever since then it just continually grows.

26th May we decided to become long distance boyfriends. We both felt ready for it. Every day and night I got to spend with him on voice chat was SO enjoyable. It was so much fun. The love kept continuing to grow and grow. The more he told me about himself, the more he truly sounded like my perfect man. My soul mate even! And he felt the same way about it all. And now we're so clingy and romantic for each other all the time and I LOVE IT!!

Fast forward to August. We still here. We hope to meet up soon. We surround ourselves with such positive romantic energy. Inspiring each other to be our best selves. Heck, we both got jobs just so we can buy stuff for each other and visit frequently. And that's where we're at. We're awaiting the day for when we meet.

I'm so grateful for him. He changed my life around. I hit rock bottom and he full on dragged me out. Showed me that I can still love. Supported me through everything. Even with everything that happened after my ex. He was there. And still today, with everything I went through.. he had my back.

I love him so much. With everything I have. To the end of days. I've never met ANYONE like him. My past relationships don't even come close to what he and I have. And the crazy thing? He feels the same.. this is just magical. See, it would be TOO good if we were living in the same country. But alas, I am UK, he is US.. a few thousand miles away. But you know what? I'm making it my goal that we'll live together. We talk about having a family, living together, going on so many dates and just doing everything together.

It's my goal. Ultimate. Life goal. I don't want to die without being able to hold him in my arms. And very soon I hope, I will be able to hold him, watch him fall asleep in my arms and whisper "I love you" right in his ear. I 100% trust him. I've never been able to fully trust anyone in my life before. Not my previous partners or anything. But my Dommy? I trust him with my life.

But are there any issues?

Nope. Not really. Sometimes I still feel a lil weird about the age gap. I'll be meeting my boyfriend who's 18, as a 24 year old.. doing lovey things lol. Sometimes I worry about what others think about that, mostly his family. My family know about it and they think it's fine, as with my friends. I hope his family are the same! I mean, it's only 5 year difference. It's not that much at all. I just overthink it and it's a ridiculous thing to overthink! Because he is my soulmate. If anybody has a problem with it, then they'll have to deal with it. Cause I ain't going anywhere. And neither is he 😏 actually I think he'd get more sassy at them than I would!

But yeah. Uh. Anything else? Not really. He's a busy lad but I love that for him. He does so much for his family. He can do so much. Working, driving, going to college.. I'm so proud of him! And I think from what I know from his childhood, he deserves to have all these nice times with his family. So no, there are no issues between us. We have never even argued yet! And I couldn't imagine arguing with him.

So I hope next time I write here.. I'd have met him in person. And experience that. It would be the best day of my life.

____

Anyway! How am I? I'm fine right now. I'm struggling a bit because I have no money left. Kinda annoyed I spent my travel moneys on myself (because I had to.) I hope that issue will be sorted next month when I get my student loan, and hopefully this job that I interviewed for yesterday! Interview lasted over an hour and I'm only competing against one other person. So.. if I get that.. the money gonna be sweet. And you already know I'll be investing in travelling to see my Dommy!

But I also want to try to do my driving lessons. Get my own groceries again and my weight gain stuff because my body is far too skinny! I want to try and get a gym membership too while I'm at it. I say all this, but where the heck am I gonna find the time to do all this? Especially as a full time student! But I think we got this. Driving lessons aren't urgent, and even so they wouldn't take long if I do lessons in an auto. Since I've driven before. So maybe I'll only need 10 lessons.

I want to go the gym and build my body a little bit. Look a bit more in shape for when I see my boy hehehe.

So yeah, lack of money is my main issue here. I can't afford to go out and get my own food and supplements. So until I get my moneys, my mood is going to be patchy. It'll be worth the wait though if things go all out to plan.

Anything else on my mind? Well.. being back here in B'ham! I don't particularly feel safe here. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to be back with my parents. And not have to pay rent on a student house.. but that does come with some negatives... Quite a few negatives. These being.. lack of privacy, not being able to make a lot of noise late at night, not feeling safe in the city, issues with bathroom/showers, and the god forsaken slow internet.

Positives though? Being with my parents, in the big city where everything is, good stores and nightlife. Few friends are here. Though not too many I'm interested in seeing. Lol. I guess I'm in the middle of everything too so if I wanted to travel out of city to see someone , I have the option to do so.

So.. yeah! A lot more good than bad going on right now and thank god. Because how this year started was awful. It was literally the hardest time of my life to get through it. And everything that happened in the summer, I'm so grateful for. And my Dommy. I'm so happy he came into my life. I feel honoured and blessed to be in a relationship with him.

I hope things go to plan. I'm in my last year of university, and will be graduating next year. So that should be exciting! And then I have plans to study at BCU next year to do a master degree in UX! Which is exactly the kind of thing I want to get into! So that's a good two years of a steady income from student finance, and hopefully this part time job! So fingers crossed these plans will work out.

Those are my goals that I see in the distance. Travel to see my boyfriend, graduate and get onto that post-grad course! My short term goals. Oh and also get a part time job. Lol. My long term goals is to honestly.. immigrate to the US. I know it sounds wild. But it's what I want. I need to be with my boyfriend. Start a life with him. And spend the rest of my life with my Dommy. I don't know when I'd ever be able to live with him.. but let's just say you need to have a strong background to be accepted as a US citizen. But with the plans I got...it should work! Having a master's degree and hopefully someone will hire a UX designer from the US and sponsor me! With some luck.

How long do I think that would take? Probably sometime within the next 5 years.. I hope. If I'm lucky! And interesting to think, in 5 years I'm 28, and my boyfriend will be 23! Which I think is the perfect time in both our lives to find a place together to live and be happy.

I feel with that, being away from my parents via long distance is going to be VERY difficult. But I'd try my best to visit them for a month or so. And of course, I still want to support them even if I am living abroad.

Ok. Here is the end of the post. I hope I don't look back at this in a few months and laugh. I know not all of this will work out, but I hope most of it will! So yeah, here's to the future! To good health, happyness, and my boyfriend of course ;)

-mangiiii

[biomorphic-chameleon]

3 AM Post

It’s been a while since I wrote or even posted. So that’s why this is a thing. I’m jamming out to old 90′s and 2000′s music so that’s fun. I might rant here or just type nothing but stuff I understand. I’m pretty tired and it is 3 am so im just gonna let my fingers go at it and ill edit the mistakes later. So Julie and I had our 2 year anniversary 2 days ago. I wish we could’ve celebrated it on our acutal anniversary but becasue it was a tueday during a school week it was hard to do that. We celebrated it on sunday which was super fun and even tho we lost our snap streak, the memories we made that day were so worth it. Like snap streaks are cool and all but what’s even better are REAL LIFE MEMORIES with PEOPLE YOU CAN BE WITH. That’s what matters to me. Sure I’m a computer geek who is learning his place and is on his computer a lot of the time gaming or studying or jsut messing around. But to be honest, I’d rather be with Julie with no internet than without her and with internet. She’s just so amazing and I can’t stop thinking about her ever. I used to be a more messed up guy than I am now, and the majority of me being better is her helping me or the thought of our future and how I want to be with her and give her a good life. I want her happy. I hope I’m doing that... I really need to start writing and drawing more. I want to get better at both. God I suck at schedules or rather sticking to a daily plan. I’m very lighting brained like I call it. I blink from one thing to another and then back in a flash. I branch out like lighting and just do everything my brain wants me to do at that moment. Isn’t it weird that we are literally just our brain! LIKE THTAS ALL WE ARE. our heart and everything else can be replaced. but not our brain because thats what we LITERALLY ARE. ALSO please some one give me drawing requests so I can put my mind to something. Maybe I wont edit this so peaople can see how tired I am. Ya ill do that. Ow my eye really hurts. Fricken dry eyes are the worst, I hope none of your eyes hurt. It sucks. OMG like 3 nights ago I was so scared I didnt wanna leave my room at like 5 am cuase it was dark but I really needed to pee. Dont worry, I made it, I had to text julie so I wouldnt be as scared. I’m still a kid but thats okay. I wanna be like other 19 year old crazy kids and do art and write. Oh wait i said this alreayd. oh well. welp good night the rest of you. happy lives and stuff. dont let anyone bring you down, cause at the end of the day when ur up at 3am and ur S.O. is asleep you have you and you need to love urself and think ur awesome to help you and when u can help you you can help others! Peace guys im out this time!

[suho-mochi]

Flutter - Ch.1

Oh Sehun/Reader Genre: Fluff/Romance Word count: 1629

“No! You can’t be serious?!” You groaned in exasperation at your friend.

“I am perfectly serious, Eunmi.” Jieun smiled sweetly, like she didn’t just drop a metaphorical bomb on you, and continued digging into the ice cream in front of her. “You asked for help and I delivered!”

“Out of all the people you know, it had to be him?!” You whined, burying your face into your hands.

“Listen, unless you want to show up at my wedding without a plus one and meet whatshisface and his new girlfriend alone, you’d better work with this.”

You looked at her once again as she raised a challenging eyebrow at you. She was right, and even he was definitely better than nothing.

“You should look more excited to have such a handsome date,” Jieun smirked. “Other girls would kill to be in your place”

“Well, those girls can have him. You know very well why I’m not excited, you remember what happened last time you tried to set us up!” You whined again, perhaps a bit too loudly as the passing waitress gave you a pointed look to shut up.

“Come on, Eunmi! That was ages ago and you went out on one date and it didn’t go that well, big deal!” Jieun continued, waving her spoon around, drops of ice cream falling on the table. “As far as I remember you were head over heels for him at the time.”

“Jieun, I fell into a pond because of him,” you grit your teeth just remembering the day. “I was stuck in the mud and had to crawl out like some sort of water demon.”

“He apologised a thousand times didn’t he!” Jieun defended, a low giggle inadvertently escaping her lips, making you glare at her. “He even sent you flowers at work!”

“Whatever,” you mumbled.

“I asked him myself - he was perfectly happy to be your lovely boyfriend for a few days. Even after what you did.” Your friend continued.

“Look, all I did was get back at him. I didn’t do anything wrong.” You defended, looking out the window. You knew you were pouting, but you allowed yourself that in extreme circumstances and this was definitely in that category.

“Eunmi, honey, you’re one of my closest friends and I love you you know that right?” Jieun asked as she reached for your hand, he small fingers clasping yours. You looked back into her big sincere eyes and a soft smile tugged at your lips. “You literally threw a handful of mud in his face, if he can forgive you for that, you can forgive tripping over your own feet and falling into that pond in the first place.”

“He tripped me!” You immediately fired back, although it your voice was weak with uncertainty.

Jieun sensed your defeat and gave your hand a squeeze as she smiled. She dug into her ice cream again and something in your brain finally clicked.

“Wait did you say ‘lovely boyfriend’ ?”

Your friend didn’t even look up from her food as she hummed a casual uh-un.

“You can’t be serious,” you hissed, leaning forward. You felt like you might actually jump over the table and grab her by the neck.

“Showing up with a new boyfriend is the best way to get back at an ex, okay!” Your friend clipped back.

You leaned back, heat already crawling up your neck. Could you do this? You weren’t sure. But you sure as hell were not going to the wedding alone.

“Well anyway, he’ll be here in about ten minutes so I’ll be leaving now.” Jieun quickly gave her spoon a final lick and picked up her bag.

“Wait what, I thought we were going to go shopping?”

“He’ll go with you, you’ll have some bonding time this way!” Your friend chirpily got up and went round the table to give you a quick kiss on the cheek. “Come on, Eunmi. He’s a good and very handsome guy, you’ll have fun together.”

You sighed, but considered your unfavourable circumstances once again.

“Fine, I’ll try.” You sighed, making your friend smile brightly.

“You will do it and you’re going to have a great time,” Jieun said in a way that sounded more like a threat than a reassurance. She glanced at the doors and her eyes lit up.  “Oh, speak of the devil, here he is! He’s early, I’m going now.” She quickly walked away, leaving you to the uncertain hands of fate as you stared after her and the man entering the cafe.

There he was. Oh Sehun.

You had done your best to avoid him ever since that dreadful first date and you had been fairly successful, even though Jieun had tried to force into the same room for quite a while after.

While he was greeting your friend, you took your time studying the man. His hair was blond now, a dark pair of sunglasses resting on his nose and his lips curled in a soft smile as he talked to Jieun. 

He was wearing a well fitted blazer and a dark shirt and, despite yourself, you had to agree with Jieun again - he was definitely handsome. You were studying his long legs, appreciating all the taut muscle, and you suddenly had to make yourself look a bit nonchalant, as he was started making his way to your table.

He met your eyes over the rim of his sunglasses and you had to ignore the small flop of your tummy that followed. Sehun slipped into the seat across you with ease, a soft smirk playing on his lips. You were already fighting the inner urge to throw something in his face again. 

“Hello,” he greeted you softly. You had forgotten how deep his voice actually was and you pursed your lips.

“Hello Sehun,” you replied, doing your best to keep your face stoic.

“I heard that you need some help,” the man continued. He removed his sunglasses, carefully putting them on the table as he pierced you with his dark eyes. The damn smirk was still there.

“You could say that,” you gritted out.

Sehun opened his mouth to say something, but a new chirpy voice interrupted him.

“Hi, would you like a menu?”

You looked up to see a waitress hovering right next to Sehun, her eyes only on him. You rolled your eyes as the man turned to her, his smirk not leaving his face.

“No, thank you, I think we’ll be paying the bill now,” he was smiling now, but you could tell it wasn’t reaching his eyes at all. “Unless, my girlfriend wants anything else?” He asked, turning to you.

Your jaw dropped and you stared at him blankly, not a sound leaving your lips.

Sehun almost snickered as he prodded you to answer, “Do you, sweetheart?”

You immediately snapped out of it, closing your mouth with a click.

“No, we’ll just finish up,” you said, turning to the girl who now seemed to have a significantly more sour look on her face.

“Of course,” she said and quickly walked away.

“My girlfriend?” You asked as soon as she was gone, your eyebrow raised.

Sehun rolled his eyes as he faced you.

“Jieun was quite clear with her instructions to me - I need to be a perfect, caring boyfriend to you until and during the wedding, Eunmi, and I agreed. I tend to keep to my word.” Sehun said simply. “She also told me that we have to go shopping?”

You leaned back, a sense of defeat washing over you. This was really happening. You took a deep breath as you made your decision.

“Yes, I don’t have anything to wear after the ceremony yet and I have to look good,” you replied. If you were going to do this, you would have to do it right.

“Hmmm, Jieun told me you desperately needed a date, but didn’t tell me if there’s a reason. Do you mind sharing?” Sehun asked, as if sensing your resolve. His eyes felt heavy on you as he waited for your response.

There was no way in hell you were going to tell him the truth.

“I have my reasons,” you expertly dodged.

Sehun just quirked an eyebrow at you, pursing his lips, but he seemed to decide not to enquire further. He hummed and picked up his sunglasses as he slid out of the booth.

“Come on, we have work to do then.” Sehun offered you his hand as you scooted out, but you only glared at him, making him chuckle. He walked over to the counter taking out his wallet, getting ready to pay and you quickly followed after him.

“You shouldn’t,” you hissed. “It was just me and Jieun.” You tried nudging him away discreetly as he handed the cashier his card, but he wouldn’t budge. When you were so close together you were suddenly reminded that he pretty much towers over you.

The tips of his mouth curved into a dangerous smile as he turned towards you, leaning in to whisper into your ear.

“Let me spoil my girlfriend,” his words rasped in your ear. You were hit by a waft of his cologne and you felt warmth creep up your neck. Sudden embarrassment took over and you were tempted to just run for it.

The cashier, however, was paying close attention - smiling encouragingly at you, her cheeks pink from all the PDA. For her benefit, you stuck to only pinching the back of Sehun’s arm, who didn’t even seem to notice.

The cashier handed back Sehun his card and you started dragging him away, not missing to notice the little thumbs up from the girl behind his back.

How were you going to survive this?

A/N: Welp, this is really happening *squeezes a mochi in your face* So this started as an idea for a one shot that I had way back in..September...yes that’s a long time ago...and as usual because I cannot help but make things way harder for myself, it went out of control and is now a chaptered fic! yay? 

I really hope you enjoy it and as this is first time I’m writing Sehun any comments and feedback are more than welcome! 

MOCHI LOVE ~3~

Next Chapter  

Flutter Masterlist

Mochi Masterlist

[a-confused-turtle]

The Flirt

Fandom: Marvel’s Avengers

Summary:  Pietro has been flirting with Y/N since they first met, but that’s all it is… Right? At least that’s what Y/N thought, until Piet asked her out…

Words: 2,100 (on the dot)

Pairing/Characters: PietroxReader. Appearances from Natasha, Wanda, Bucky, Steve, Clint, Sam, and Bruce.

Warning: None? Kind of an AU - Pietro’s alive post-Ultron.

Author’s Note: I don’t know how this happened, it just sort of did... Welp, my first Marvel and Avengers posted. 

You actually laughed when you first met him. Well, when you were first formally introduced. All that business with Ultron didn’t really count to you.

His eyes had roamed over you blatantly while he smirked. “And who are you?” He asked in his thick accent, his eyebrow quirking up in question.

“Out of your league,” Clint supplied before you could get a syllable out. And he wasn’t the only one taking a big brotherly stance for you. Steve, Bucky, and even Bruce eyed Pietro.

You couldn’t help but laugh out loud. All through school you were never the girl that got hit on by guys or went out on dates. You were the nerdy, glasses-wearing goofball that kept to herself and her studies. You wouldn’t have been where you were without that either. Except, after a while, you finally left your awkward phase in the dust. Suddenly you were desirable, for your looks, not your brain. So, like all the other superficial men, you shrugged Pietro’s flirtation off. And yet, it didn’t deter him. For months he looked at you the way he did that first day, whispered silly jokes to you, found any excuse to touch you, and remained by your side as much as he could.

You knew how he was with women, so you didn’t let yourself see it as anything more than his cheeky personality, that he just happened to be a natural flirt, though a part of you wished it could be real. You would never admit that.

~

“You look pretty hot in plaid, you know,” Pietro commented as you pulled on an oversized flannel over your vintage concert t-shirt.

You sat back down next to him with a roll of your eyes. “Very lumberjack-esque,” you retorted. “So what are we watching guys?”

“Patience, Printessa,” he replied softly and leaned closer to you though you hadn’t asked him the question.

“Says the guy who can barely stand still for five seconds…”

He smirked at you and nudged you with his shoulder. “You’re the only one I can slow down for.” His voice was plagued by that familiar flirtatious tone as he winked at you.

You rolled your eyes.

Bucky shot him a glare from the other couch and the others didn’t seem to notice, intent on the variety of movie choices in front of them.

“Nat, hurry up!” Steve called.

“Keep your pants on,” she shot back, skillfully climbing over the couch to sit next to you, in between you and Pietro. She held the popcorn bowl with a death grip, refusing to pass it around, though she let you snag some popped kernels.

“Hmmm, you guys seeing anything?” Sam asked skeptically.

“Moonrise Kingdom?” Wanda suggested though she sounded more confused than firm about about it.

Clint shook his head in response, mirroring everyone’s apathy for an indie film at the moment.

“What’s Planet 9 From Outer Space?” Steve inquired with a glance over to the more modern cultural literate individuals. Everyone, all eight of you, groaned. The rest of the troop would’ve done the same, if they weren’t on a mission or out for the night.

“Even I know, Steve, come on,” Bucky sighed.

“No,” Nat sighed, “Just no.”

“But-”

“Just google it,” she interrupted.

“Lost Boys!” You cried just as it popped up on the television’s gigantic screen, “It’s a classic! Steve and Bucky need to see it!”

“What’s it about?” Wanda asked, reaching up from her blanket nest on the floor for some popcorn.

“Vampires. It. Is. Awesome,” you replied, grinning at her.

Pietro looked at you skeptically. “It’s not like those Twilight movies is it?”

You scoffed, “No. Don’t even mention those in my presence,” earning a small chuckle from everyone, and an interesting smile from him.

“It actually is a pretty good movie,” Bruce piped up.

Nat nodded in agreement. “Culturally relevant,” she added, looking over to Bucky and Steve.

“Let’s do it,” Clint affirmed and selected the film.

You eventually snuggled up to Nat and stole one of Wanda’s blankets as Lost Boys went on, completely enthralling most of the group. You’d seen the movie probably four times prior and yet it still just sucked you in like first time you’d watched it.

As the film ended, everyone applauded your suggestion. Pietro especially, who even decided to walk you to your room as everyone dispersed, yawning.

“Thanks, Piet, night,” you said, reaching for your door handle.

“Y/N,” he replied, trying to get your full attention, “Can I ask you something?”

You nodded humming, “Mhmmm,” as you fumbled with the lock.

“Well, I was wondering… Would you like to go out sometime, maybe to dinner?”

“What?” You asked, completely confused by his phrasing. The door finally open, but you looked up at him testily. The two of you had dinner all the time, you hung out. So did everyone else…

“Maybe, tomorrow night? There’s a wonderful Russian restaurant in town.”

You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. “Okay…”

“Good, Printessa. It’s a date then,” he affirmed with a flirtatious smile and a certain glint in his eyes.

“Wait, what?” Your mouth fell open in surprise.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, angel,” he purred and caressed your cheek quickly before speeding off.

What the hell had just happened?

~

The next day you spent lazily, until Nat stormed into your room around eleven. “Y/N! What the hell are you thinking?!”

“I was thinking of sleeping until noon, but I guess that’s not happening…” You mumbled, still half asleep with eyes adjusting to the change of lighting.

“You’re going out with Quickie?! What’s wrong with you?”

“Shit. Nat, he ambushed me! He asked about going to dinner and I thought he just meant like normal and then he called it a date!” You sat bolt upright at the memory. What the hell was he thinking? What were you thinking? You should’ve realized what he was getting at…

Her expression softened a little.

“I could just cancel right?”

“Y/N,” Wanda cried, rushing into your room, “Don’t. This is longest he’s ever stayed on one person it will crush him if you just cancel. Please give him a chance. Please. For me.”

Your mouth fell open slightly at her rush of words and you groaned, shoving your head into your pillow again.

“How can you be okay with this?!” Nat exclaimed to Wanda.

“It’s the longest he’s ever stayed on one person! She’s all he’s talked about for months!”

You felt the scowl on Nat’s face as silence settled over the room. Maybe you’d just go back to sleep… This was too complicated for such an early hour.

“Do you want help getting ready?” Wanda offered, ignoring Nat.

Another groan was your response.

“We’ll come back…”

~

You fidgeted in front of the mirror, tugging at the sexy, yet modest dress Wanda and Nat had agreed on after what seemed like hours in your closet. It felt so strange. You. You of all people were going on a date. And with Pietro Maximoff. What the hell? Couldn’t you just go back to sleep?

“You look wonderful,” Wanda commented, smiling warmly.

With yet another eye roll you sat down on your bed and slid on your heels.

Before you knew it a short knock sounded at the door. Pietro.

With a sigh, you rose and strode to the door, shaking a little as you opened it. Why were you so nervous? You had nothing to be nervous about, right?

Pietro’s eyes lit up as soon as he saw you, his mouth falling open in awe. “You-you look amazing, Printessa.”

Internally, you groaned. Is that all he cared about? But, once you took stock of him, that nervousness only seemed to grow. He cleaned up well, very well. He had styled his hair slightly so it appeared neater and the suit he wore fit him just right, accenting his muscles perfectly. You cleared your throat, knowing fully well you’d been staring, but he’d been staring too, with a different look in his piercing eyes. One of adoration, not lust.

“Oh, um, shall we get going?” he finally asked.

You nodded and looked back to Nat and Wanda.

“Have fun,” Wanda called while Nat scowled.

The drive to the restaurant was fairly short and quiet. For once the slick speedster actually appeared slightly nervous, which made you feel a bit better about the whole thing.

They sat you quickly and the waiter brought you drinks in a timely manner while you chatted a little with Pietro, who was surprisingly quiet…

“Piet. You’re pretty quiet. Are you okay?” You asked.

His eyebrows rose a little in surprise and he adjusted his hair slightly while he replied, “Yes, I’m fine. Sorry, I guess I’m a little nervous.”

“The great Quicksilver? Nervous? What ever for?” Sarcasm and humor running through your words, you took a sip of your drink.

“Look at you, how could I not be nervous?”

The words had a sort of deflating effect on you. Why did it always have to be about your looks? “How I look is why you’re nervous?”

His expression faltered slightly as he clearly noticed your testy tone. “Y/N, you’re gorgeous, yes. You’re incredibly intelligent, witty, and talented and here I am, the man who can run really fast. Tell me why I shouldn’t be nervous.”

Those words caught you off guard. You couldn’t even answer him…

“See, you can’t tell me a reason. You’re incredible and I’m a schmuck that somehow got you to agree to go on a date with me.” The light in his eyes shifted to a more normal, familiar glow, especially paired with his usual smirk.

“Because you didn’t say it was a date until I agreed!” You laughed incredulously, smiling as blush refused to leave your cheeks.

“How else would I have gotten you to agree!?”

“You could have just told me how you felt…”

“I thought I’d made that clear…” He was earnest in his response, letting his cocky exterior go slightly.

You studied him a moment before continuing, still deciding if he really meant all of it. Did he? “You know, when I was in school. Boys never looked twice at me, gave me a second thought. And I didn’t care. I loved school and worked hard. Then, one day, out of nowhere I guess I didn’t look like an awkward teenager anymore. Suddenly all these guys were hitting on me, buying me drinks, asking me out, paying attention to me, but they didn’t really care about me. They just saw my looks and wanted to get in my pants. So what am I supposed to think when you flirt with me all the time?”

You’d never seen Pietro so… So, hauntingly honest and sincere. He wasn’t cracking jokes or smirking. His eyes weren’t wandering, nor were his hands. He looked like he only saw you, nothing else existed. “I know. I don’t have the best history. But, Y/N, I didn’t want to say this before because I thought I’d scare you off… I think I’m in love with you. I mean when I go a day without talking to you it just isn’t a good day. I’d rather have a movie night with you or talk about what book you’re reading than anything else. I don’t know how to explain it, but I just can’t get enough of you. You’re such an incredible person inside and out… I just… I love you.”

Blushed bloomed everywhere. You felt like your whole body would become that all consuming red. “I didn’t know you could be so serious,” you replied in a small voice, taking his hand, which he’d placed on the table as he spoke.

He took your small hand gently, sweetly and squeezed slightly. “It’s like I told you, you’re the only one I’ll slow down for,” he whispered back, a small, hesitant grin forming on his lips.

“Well maybe you’re the only one I’ll speed up for… Okay, that sounded better in my head… Let’s get some food, I’m starving,” you chuckled out of embarrassment.

He just smiled warmly, placing his other hand on the one he was already holding. “You’re adorable when you’re embarrassed.”

“Don’t you mean sexy?” You inquired jokingly.

“That too, Printessa.”

Pietro didn’t let your hand go until the food came, not that you wanted him to. If it were possible, you would have kept holding his hand while you ate. But, the kiss you shared with him after made up for it. He really did slow it down, to show you just how much you meant to him.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Showa Genroku 5 – 13, 15 | Classicaloid 14 | Masamune-kun’s Revenge 2 | Osomatsu-san 16

(ep 5)

You can hear the sarcasm in his (Sukeroku’s) voice, even with only subs. Actually, both Kiku and Sukeroku have their sarcastic moments.

How does the charcoal not burn the cushion?

You can clearly tell she’s got him wrapped around her little finger. Pretty ambitious, in those times.

Apparently injured legs can feel when rain is coming…that sort of thing.

In an age without phones, there’s more need for socialisation.

Basically, this is the equivalent to a high school or uni play. Low budget as ever.

Tanuki…well, they’re pranksters. Of course.

It seems pretty sexist in this day and age, but back then…welp. Let’s not complain about comparisons between some so-called “good ol’ days” and the present.

(ep 6)

“I don’t need lectures from a bum like you.” – Especially a drunk bum…

Even if it’s selfish to take something because of the thrill…I do kinda miss my days of scanlation. It’s hard to get a thrill like the one I got when I did that. Heh heh. Well, 2017’s going to be another intense year filled with Japanese, because even though I’ve shifted my education once more, I stuck Japanese in there again.

The texture on the smoking pot is quite something. Huh.

That’s a biiiiiiig cicada…

Hey, a Yotaro. Is that Daiku Shirabe Yakumo 7th’s doing?

Miyokichi says “gokigenyou”. I have enough lip reading skills to detect that, at least.

Who wrote the signs at the rakugo stage? I wonder…

(ep 7)

There always seem to be more women during Kiku’s performances.

The humour in this is a bit slapstick, but that’s why Charlie Chaplin is a household name now, right?

How many Es are in Tennessee, anyway? I never kept count…4? Okay then.

The ear picker is a sign of romance and intimacy. In Japan, anyway.

Extra “that” in the subs.

“Master Bonsai” sounds like such a cliché.

The “slice of eye” technique is just so effective. I’m lucky I’m not a film school student, or else I wouldn’t be eloquent enough.

A two futatsume show wouldn’t sell. Didn’t you say that a few episodes ago, Sukeroku?

(ep 8)

The master’s (Bonsai’s) fanning himself so much, it must be summer.

You need to win favours for a shinuchi promo…hmph. Better note that on the wiki.

Come to think of it, this was the age of letters, wasn’t it? Sukeroku’s right.

The Sukeroku and Miyokichi scene is so powerful, you can’t look away from it.

Drinks solve everything for these guys…sheesh.

Sometimes antagonising Kiku ain’t the answer, Sukeroku.

Without Sukeroku, kiku just kept clinging on to his part…huh. This part suddenly made a lot more sense, now that ep 14’s clarified Yotaro’s purpose.

The thing about this show is that it’s quite the acquired taste – you come for the humour, stay for the drama…or something along those lines. I spotted Sukeroku’s name on the very right, by the way.

(ep 9)

The dressing room is the “comfort room” in Japanese.

Of course Kiku wouldn’t be Sukeroku’s partner in crime for something like pissing the masters off…

I think it was “Edo flair”, subbers, but it was kinda hard to notice…

With those tired eyes, Kiku looks like Jean Otus (of ACCA).

These foreboding shots of light on water…hmph.

Note Amano’s got a fan that says “Japan one” literally, but whether it implies he’s number one in Japan or something else is number one in Japan is entirely up to debate.

There was a typo in the subs, but since the erroneous part was “While her husband it out…”, unless the actual word is “is”...I dunno what the correct word is.

The angles in this show are part of the personality. However, as Hand Shakers tells us, too much of a good thing can spoil it. Good thing this toes the line properly.

“Storyteller” is the appropriate equivalent for rakugoka, but “storyteller” doesn’t seem to do a story about rakugo justice. You need the jargon to make the world come alive, I feel.

You can tell Haruko Kumota used to be a BL author before from the way Sukeroku and Kiku act and react in that end scene of the ep.

(ep 10)

The cat…and the box-in technique from Erased. Letting go…is a theme in this show. Didn’t I say that already?

The kanji for “7th generation” was pretty nasty in regards to stroke count. No wonder they simplified it.

Shinigami. Of course he’d unleash that on the audience. Watching again has allowed me to really study Kiku as a person.

I wonder, are there full texts for these rakugo stories somewhere (like those books the apprentices memorise from)? I’d like to read them all someday, even if it’s just a testament to how much Japanese I’ve learnt.

In a world full of filial piety, the man really shouldn’t piss off his ancestors.

With that hat, Kiku looks like something out of Joker Game. Plus, even though the old person says “these days they have their televisions”, nowadays it’s “these days they have their phones and their internet” (in a spot of irony for me, LOL). In the end, technology will be too good for rakugo…and that’s what makes this show all the more interesting for me. Me, who wants to understand the past but still advance to the future.

For bad pun central, stop right here. The English “equivalents” to some of these Japanese puns really are kinda corny, and that’s saying something…since I’ve been looking at joke books since I was a kid.

How old is “old”, old man? If Konatsu’s calling you old, the internet is old.

(ep 11)

On the wall near Kiku are the signs “beer” and “tsukimi soba” (moon viewing soba). There’s another one past the one with a woman on it, but I can’t really make it out.

Oh, it’s the sign! Unfortunately I don’t know the second kanji, so I can’t tell you what it says.

This scene with the bag always makes me laugh. Every time, I tell you.

Konatsu’s got dango in her mouth. How do I explain dango…they’re sticky. Kinda like mochi. Never had them myself though.

I think ep 11 really shows how far Kiku’s come as a rakugoka.

(ep 12)

The word used for “inn” is ryokan. People tend to translate that as “(traditional) Japanese inn” in order to contrast with “hotel” and such.

The “chopsticks over the edge of the balcony” scene…now that I think of it, that is some heavy foreshadowing.

Is there a man who doesn’t like women? Probably.

Is it possible to make art using the spirit (behind it) alone?

Shibahama. Of course. Also, I’d never heard the term “a total lush” until this episode, I don’t think.

If only Sukeroku were like Kuma…haha. (sad tone)

I never thought about it until TV Tropes brought it up, but Miyokichi really is yandere.

When a grown man is driven to tears…you know stuff’s gone down.

Hey, there was no OP or ED on the ep now, was there?

(ep 13) [Trigger warnings: death, hell, political commentary etc..]

What is “inter[ring] the ashes”?

The world has had some horrors to get globalised like it is today…unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do about it.

You put an end to oral traditions by not having anyone to pass them on…that’s the scary part of this show. Also, all the boxing in looks like Yakumo’s going to hang himself, and that’s the point. Which is even scarier.

I think this show’s only gone off model once.

Enma being the king of hell.

In English, Konatsu’s words are even more deceiving in regards to her “drink”.

Yotaro does the “bwong” bit more fast and lively than Yakumo.

Such a rebellious spirit (Konatsu) wouldn’t be right, tied down by marriage.

Oh yeah…I forgot they announced the “Rakugo Association President” thing in this ep.

“Lately all we hear about is deaths…” – Basically 2016 for the wider entertainment world. (Then came Trump. Aye carumba, what is the world coming to?)

Wait, do you want to shake Yotaro or the man who impregnated Konatsu?

I wonder how the reality of the Sukeroku scene played out…maybe it demonstrates his senility, interpreted one way.

Lilies, chrysanthemums and daisies…white is the symbol of death in Japan. (The chrysanthemums are yellow but the theme is the same.)

(ep 15)

Fresh new ep…well, I’ve been keeping this one since it first rolled out to the public, so it’s not entirely fresh. However, this is as fresh as it’ll get in regards to how the simulcast commentary goes.

Urk, why must CR be so insistent with turning “Descending Stories” into the title? It’s hardly convenient.

Imawa no Shinigami…I saw the video on ANN. It’s a nice song, but hard to put on repeat because the visuals are so good.

Whoa, even I can tell how fast Yota’s motormouthing, and I’m not even listening to it!

“Fussing to the shamisen”? What’s that?

She (Konatsu) clearly mouthed “papa”, and I think that word goes across multiple languages.

Huh. There’s no identifying name on this story, and it seems so crucial. That’s why I asked for a full guide of them (like the books that you sometimes see Kiku practising out of).

You can tell what books I’ve studied and the random things I’ve picked up from the quotes I can spout at a moment’s notice. For example: “…full of sound and fury, signifying nothing…”

Amaken’s eyes are funny while he gripes about the shinuchi’s role.

Who is this glasses guy? I can’t read the kanji…

Kappore. It’s something like this, anyway.

Was that a non-language-barrier pun? (About how the story suddenly switched to being about women in Yoshiwara.)

He’s (Yotaro’s) motormouthing again…

Higuchi really is a spanner in the works for Yakumo, eh? Especially because it turns out he’s the one who begged Yakumo for work the day 7th Yakumo collapsed. Karma’s such a pain in the butt, isn’t it?

Oh no! I-If Kiku dies next ep…where will the story be? Surely, we have Yotaro/Sukeroku and the Yakumo legacy, Konatsu and Higuchi, but I’ve learnt from the SGRS discord that Kikuhiko really is the glue of this work and this fandom. Don’t let him die or else we’ll all have a real funeral service for him…(well, maybe not that extreme, but people will be in real mourning due to a fictional character…and that’s bad.)

(Classicaloid 14)

I’ve seen from all the “best of 2016 anime” posts that Classicaloid’s gotten on to a lot of critical reviewers’ lists, but looking at my top 10, it didn’t make it. (If you’re wondering, it’s currently in spot 12 and since it’s a 2016 list, it won’t move up from there.) As for 2017, it’s currently in 4th place, but it’s likely to get debunked by later anime (Inuyashiki for one, since I’ve heard about it…if I hear about its source material while it’s still a manga, then its anime has a lot of promise!).

Beethes? On love? That’s new.

A capriccio is “following one’s fancy” according to Google-sensei, while I already knew poco a poco to be “little by little”.

Not all those foods Kanae listed are Russian, right? Pirozhki I know is Russian via YoI, but stroganoff clearly is not. To confirm my suspicions, I asked Google-sensei about gazpacho and that’s Spanish.

Gorbacho…? I might need to check that one over, but Sensei has nothing on it.

Those gyoza buddies have already appeared twice in this ep (excluding the OP) and both were in Kanae’s vicinity.

The foods listed are just local specialties of the area. Okonomiyaki is quite known as an Osakan one, that’s why.

They teach kids how to make vodka in this show…that’s slightly horrifying…Please don’t try making vodka at home, kids.

The birds…are so adorable! Ahh!

“Madol” appears to be a squashing together of “mad idol”.

This is actually very enlightening. At least from Bada’s perspective.

It’s not even the usual credits. It looks like karaoke…and that’s the entire point. There’s even lyrics!

(Masamune-kun 2)

The problem with Kirito-face (Masamune) is that he keeps going over his problems day by day, as if he can’t live without focussing on his revenge. Unfortunately, that’s the point of the show. I know it can do better than that! Plus, Heike Monogatari.

BL sandwich?

Okay, I’m definitely out of here. Ew. Fanservice without any particular reasoning is the worst.

(…but why did I leave the video long enough to find out that Makabe doesn’t even look adorable when stuttering? Yet another reason to leave.)

(Osomatsu-san ep 16)

The one episode I really liked (aside from the feels-getters), aka The Mad Max Parody…I think.

Manekineko behind the interview.

Apparently, Matsuno Matsunan can be read as “Matsuno Makkusu”, but the subs never explained that now, did they?

LOL, Iyami’s too visual kei in this.

Matsu in that case meaning “end”, but…you know…Matsu of the century…

The innuendo…it’s slghtly grating the second time ‘round, but it made me laugh the first time.

Welp, from that one segment, you basically learn how to make a successful non-Gintama…well, success…in Japan.

Highly relatable, but painful due to it being relatable.

Why is the Karamatsu!Ichimatsu not a meme like the Todomatsu face?

Matsu-cest…squick. Why do people ship that?

Technically, only fans of Karamatsu are Karamatsu girls…or boys.

Why is this second face not as memeful as the first?

With a series like this, you really have to be careful that it’s funny every time…because it’s only one third as funny the second time around, at least for this episode.

[demonbloodteen]

Demon Blood Teen: A New Persona

Episode Three. Veer convinces Charlie to form a new persona revolving around his newfound powers.

“Blasting people with laser beams! How rude!” Veer complained, walking over to Charlie, his body now charcoal-black. 

“Sorry, you’re just very annoying,” Charlie said. 

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” Veer admitted. 

“So…now what? Should I kill myself?” Charlie asked. 

“WHAT?! Why would your mind go to that?!” Veer questioned. 

“Sorry, I guess I’ve just thought about doing it so much that it’s become my natural go-to choice when I don’t know what to do,” Charlie explained. “Well..that’s disturbing,” Veer responded. 

“Oh, that’s just the surface level. Dig just a tiny bit deeper and things get much more disturbing. Much more disturbing,” Charlie grinned. 

“The fact that you’re grinning while saying this makes it even more disturbing,” Veer pointed out. 

“Oh, sorry about that. Smiling is just one of the many coping mechanisms to deal with my crippling anxiety and depression,” Charlie explained, the grin still on his face. 

“Hehe…okay then…” Veer said awkwardly, glancing down at the ground.

Alternate Dimension

“UGH! I had that blood right in my hands! I was seconds away from being cured! SECONDS! We have to somehow manage to find another portal into that dimension! Before it’s too late! Now, who here thinks they’re up to the task?” Treznor stated. 

“Ooh! Ooh! Me! Pick me!” Renita begged, raising her hand. 

“Alright, Renita. You have three months to find a way into this dimension. Otherwise, you’ll be sent to our torture chamber. I already have you microchipped, so there’s no reason in trying to just run and hide. I’ll find you,” Treznor said.

“You have me microchipped?” Renita asked, a confused tone in her voice. 

“I have everyone here microchipped,” Treznor stated. 

“Wow…someone has trust issues. But don’t worry, I’ll be sure to get him, sir!” Renita promised, saluting and then scurrying out of the place. Main Dimension “So I’ve got an idea. Why’d don’t you go ahead and create a new persona?” Veer asked. 

“New persona? Why would I do that?” Charlie asked. 

“Charlie! You’ve got a great opportunity here! All your life you’ve dealt with anxiety, worrying about what other people think about you!” Veer said. 

“Well, gee. You don’t have to remind me about it,” Charlie said, crossing his arms. 

“I wasn’t finished yet! This - this is your chance to change all of that! You can create a new identity and start all over! Become confident in yourself!” Veer exclaimed. “Veer, I can’t just completely give up on this identity and start a new one! I mean, where would I live?! I can’t just randomly disappear from home and then move back in as someone that my dad thinks is a drug addict! Granted, not very many people would miss me had I just disappeared, but still! I can’t do it!” Charlie pointed out. 

“No, no. I’m not saying just completely abandon your old identity for a new one…Rather, have like a side persona! You know, one that you use every once in a while - when you feel like it. Build confidence in that persona, and it’ll eventually transfer to your main one!” Veer explained. “Hmm, I see. Interesting idea. Have there been studies by psychological experts that show this works?” Charlie asked. 

“I have no idea - I literally just came up with it right now,” Veer said. 

“Well, it’s not as appealing an idea as committing suicide, but I suppose I’ll try it,” Charlie said. Later That Night Charlie had been sitting in bed, browsing through the internet. “Looking at porn?!” Veer questioned, popping out of nowhere. 

“Gah!” Charlie gasped, jumping slightly in fear. 

Veer glanced at the computer screen - it was currently on a Skype chat between Charlie and Paris. 

“So you’re not watching porn. Hm, you must’ve known I was coming,” Veer said. “N-No, I just…don’t watch that kind of stuff,” Charlie said. 

“Mhm. Ssssuuuurrrrreee you don’t,” Veer rolled his eyes. 

“I’m serious!” Charlie growled. 

“Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. It’s okay. You don’t have to lie about it - I understand. It’s perfectly normal for a teenager to experience those kinds of urges,” Veer said. 

“Is it perfectly normal for a teenager to experience the urge of wanting to murder themself? Because I get that urge quite a lot,” Charlie said. 

“…N-No, I don’t think that’s normal…” Veer answered. “Really? You sure? Hm, other teens are weirdos,” Charlie commented. 

“Yes…they’re the weirdos…So Charlie, you know right now would be a perfect time to go ahead and try out that new persona of your’s!” Veer encouraged. 

“Really? You think so? I mean…I still have homework to do,” Charlie said. 

“Pft, so you don’t do your homework one night. What’s the big deal?” Veer asked. 

“Mrs. Horrorfield will probably get really mad at me…” Charlie said. 

“Well, Mrs. Horrorfield can go fuck herself. Come on, go change into that diving suit of your’s and let’s go!” Veer grinned. Outside “You know, I’m not sure having my new persona wear a diving suit out is really the best way to make me more confident,” Charlie said dryly, now in his transformed self. 

“I for one think you look extremely attractive in that diving suit,” Veer commented. 

“Uh…thanks, I guess?” Charlie asked. “No problem! You know, I don’t look half myself,” Veer said, looking down at the black full-body suit he was wearing.

Suddenly, a scream could be heard. “Someone! Quick! Help! Help me!” a female voice could be heart shouting. “Someone’s in trouble! We’ve gotta go save her!” Veer exclaimed, beginning to run towards where the call was coming from. 

“Someone’s in trouble! We better leave because we’re in trouble as well!” Charlie said, beginning to run back home. 

“CHARLIE!” Veer shouted, quickly running back over to him. 

“W-What is it?” Charlie asked. 

“What are you doing?! We have to save this person!” Veer said, grabbing onto him. 

“We have to save ourselves! You’re gonna get us killed!” Charlie exclaimed. “Didn’t you say you wanted to be killed?” Veer asked. 

Charlie’s eyes widened at this. “We’ve gotta go save that woman!” he suddenly announced, running to the scene of the crime. 

“Shut up, you spoiled brat! Before I silence you myself!” the criminal said, pointing a gun at the girl as he tore her purse away from her. 

“HEY THERE! Hold on just one second!” Charlie shouted. The criminal’s eyes widened, quickly turning towards the teenager. “Oh, hey! A drug addict! Do you happen to have anything on ya at the moment? I can pay - I just stole this purse from this rich snob,” the criminal said. 

“I am not a drug addict! Why does everyone think that?!” Charlie questioned. 

“Well, you have crazy messed up purple hair and you’re running around the streets at night in a diving suit. Clearly you’re smoking something,” the drug addict stated. “I have not been smoking anything! Though, I do think that people have the right to do what they want with their own body and that we should not be throwing people in jail for doing so!” Charlie said. 

“Come on, kid. Quit with the act. You ain’t foolin’ anyone. Just hand me over some of those good ol’ drugs. I already told ya I have the money,” the criminal said. “And I already told you I’m not a drug addict! I don’t have any drugs! I’ve never taken any drugs! I’ve never even been near any drugs! And I never will! Well, unless I can attain enough so that I can overdose and thus die, in which case I will!” he exclaimed. 

“You know, you’re getting really annoying. Give me the drugs or else I’ll shoot,” the criminal said, pointing his gun at the boy. Charlie blinked, a grin forming on his face. “Oh, finally! This is the moment I’ve been waiting for! The moment I’ve been waiting for my entire life!” Charlie exclaimed. 

“Seriously? You’re still not gonna hand over the drugs?! Welp, here goes nothing!” the criminal said, pulling the trigger and thus launching the bullet. 

“WAIT!” Caitlyn shouted, tackling Charlie onto the ground, and thus causing the bullet to miss. Veer had been wandering throughout the streets, searching for his friend. “Charlie? Charlie? Where are you?” he asked, when suddenly the bullet from earlier flew by, lodging itself into his tail. “GAH! MY TAIL! MY TAIL!” Veer cried out, falling down to the ground. 

“Mommy! This animal looks hurt! Can I keep and take care of him until he gets better?” a child asked, picking up Veer. 

“Are you sure that’s an animal, Reed?” the mother asked. “Hey! What was that for?!” Charlie questioned. 

“You saved me, so I only thought it was fair that I return the favor!” Caitlyn explained. 

“Well now I’m wishing I hadn’t of saved you,” Charlie said dryly. 

“Haha! You’re so funny!” Caitlyn giggled, messing with his hair. 

“Don’t don’t touch me,” Charlie said dryly. “You may of dodged that one, but now you’re both going down!” the criminal said, pulling the trigger. Caitlyn gasped in fear, meanwhile the grin of Charlie’s returned. But nothing happened. 

“What the?!” the criminal gasped, pulling the trigger again. 

“Ugh! I must be out of bullets! Well…see ya, kids!” he said, quickly beginning to run away. Charlie quickly got up, pointing his hands up and shooting laser beams at the criminal, causing him to fall to the ground. “My hero!” Caitlyn grinned, hugging him. 

“I thought I told you not to touch me,” Charlie said, a deadpan tone in his voice. She just kept hugging him though. He glanced away awkwardly, before a small smile and blush spread across his face, hugging her back. 

“Hey! You wanna come over to my place?” Caitlyn asked, grinning up at him. “Well, actually I have homewo- Well, I guess,” Charlie accepted the request. 

“Great! Let’s go now!” she said, grabbing ahold of his hand and beginning to march forward. 

“Wait! What do we do with this guy?” he asked, pointing at the unconscious body of the criminal lying on the floor. 

“Just bring him with,” she said. “If you insist,” he said, picking up the unconscious body and heading towards her parents’ house. He rung the doorbell, the door quickly opening. 

“Why hello there, Caitlyn! Who’s this young man you’ve got with you?” Caitlyn’s father asked. 

“And who’s this unconscious man you’ve got with you?” Caitlyn’s mother asked. “Oh, well let me explain. So I was going on my normal late night stroll in a dark alley, when all of a sudden this guy pops out and tries to steal my purse! I mean, who would’ve thought that stuff could happen in a dark alley late at night? It was totally unexpected! Anyway, to make things even worse, he then takes a gun out and tries to shoot me! Luckily, this incredibly attractive teenage boy came to rescue me just in time! If it wasn’t for him, I’d probably be dead by now!” Caitlyn explained.  “WOW! Thanks a lot, Mr. Incredibly Attractive Teenage Boy!” Caitlyn’s father said, shaking Charlie’s hand. “You know, this is actually a huge story. We oughta get this on the news!” Caitlyn’s father exclaimed, quickly getting out his cellphone and dialing up a local reporter. “Hello? Mr. Reporter? We’ve got a huge story for you to report over there! We need you to come over straight away! You will? Great!” Caitlyn’s father exclaimed, hanging up the phone.

“How do you attain such easy access to the media?” Charlie asked. 

“Oh, we’re rich. We pretty much own the media,” Caitlyn’s father explained. 

It was that moment the reporter arrived. “Okay, okay! I’m here, I’m here, I’m here! What’s the big story?” he asked. “Oh, you’ve gotta hear this!” Caitlyn’s father exclaimed, walking over to the reporter and whispering the story into his ear. 

“WOW! That is a great story! We better get this on the news as soon as possible!” he grinned, quickly setting up his camera and rushing in front of it, explaining the story to the audience.  “And here with us tonight, we have the very same teenage boy that saved this young girl from certain death!” the reporter exclaimed, pulling Charle into the scene. “So let’s start with the basics. What’s your name?” the reporter asked.  “Oh! Uh, well, um...my name is...it’s....it’s uh...Wolf...Wolfgang. Wolfgang Steel. ...Oh geez, that sounds stupid. It sounded a lot cooler in my head,” Charlie muttered.

“And so, tell us Wolfgang. How long have you doing this?” the reporter. “Doing what? Contemplating suicide? I’ve been doing that for as long as I can remember,” Charlie answered rather bleakly. “No, no! I’m talking about vigilante justice! You know, going out of your way to save people and stop criminals despite not being formally associated with any type of law enforcement,” the reporter clarified.  “Oh! Hehe, can we take that ‘contemplating suicide’ part out? Um, I just started. Tonight. Like a few minutes ago. Literally,” Charlie answered.  “Fascinating! And is this a one-time thing, or are you planning to continue on this path of vigilante justice?” the reported asked. “Well, um, I don’t know. I guess I’ll do it if people want me too? Or if I see something bad happening and no one’s stopping it,” Charlie said. “You’ll continue it if the people want to, you say? Great! We’ll conduct a poll over the next few days and see what the nation thinks about you. Then you can make your decision! Welp, you heard it here first folks! On The Substantial Scoop With Kane Robinson!” the reporter exclaimed, closing out the show. Reed’s House “Don’t worry, little fella. I’ll take care of you!” Reed grinned, setting Veer down on his bed. Veer blinked, his eyes wandering the room before glancing back up at the child. “Here, let me get you some bandages to help with that boo boo of your’s,” Reed said, leaving the room. Veer quickly hopped off the bed, beginning to wander around the room. He walked over to the book shelf, glancing at the action figures placed on top of it. He then took a book from off the shelf, opening it and beginning to read it. Suddenly the door opened, causing Veer throw to quickly throw the book back at the book shelf and get down on his fours.  Reed entered the room, holding some bandages in one hand and a bowl of food in the other. He then placed the two down on the floor, right next to where Veer was. He placed the bowl of pet food on the ground, and then took the bandages, wrapping them around Veer’s tail. “There you go! Here, I brought you some food too,” Reed said, pushing the bowl closer towards the other. Veer glanced down at the dog food, a disgusted expression on his face. 

“Is he seriously gonna make me eat this stuff?” Veer thought to himself. 

“Come on, boy! Eat! You want to be nice and strong now, don’t you?” Reed asked.  “Well, I guess I have too...” Veer thought, sighing, and using his tongue to scoop up a single bit of the food into his mouth, nibbling down on it rather slowly. His eyes soon widened. “Oh my gosh...this stuff is delicious!” he thought. He grinned, diving into the bowl of pet food and beginning to devour it all. 

“Atta boy!” Reed cheered on, watching as his new pet hurriedly ate all his food. Caitlyn’s Room The two teenagers entered the room, Caitlyn quickly shutting and locking the door behind them. “So we’re all alone. Just the two of us,” Caitlyn said. “Yep! Just me, you, and the countless voices in my head,” Charlie said. “Wait, what?” Caitlyn asked. “Nothing,” Charlie answered. Caitlyn walked closer to Charlie, placing her hands on his shoulders. “W-What are you doing?” he asked. “Oh, you know...” she said, pushing him down on her bed. She smirked, taking her hand and slowly beginning to unzip his suit. “Hold on one second,” Charlie interrupted. “What is it?” she asked. “Aren’t we both 14?” he asked. “Yep.” “And isn’t the age of consent 18?”

“Correct.” “So aren’t we both four years too young to be doing this legally?” “You’ve got it!” Caitlyn answered peppily, continuing to pull down his zipper. She licked her lips as Charlie’s boxers came into sight, quickly moving her hand towards them. “WAIT!” Charlie asked. “What is it?” Caitlyn asked, pulling her hand away and glancing at the other. “I-I don’t really feel c-comfortable with uh, you know...” he stuttered.  “Oh! Sorry! So you’re one of those ‘take it slow’ guys. Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. That’s totally okay with me,” Caitlyn said, getting off of him.  “Well, I don’t care if it’s okay with you. It’s about what’s okay with me,” Charlie said, getting up. 

“Oh! Yeah, well that’s what I meant,” Caitlyn said. “Sure it is,” Charlie said, zipping his suit back up and yawning.  “Wanna cuddle?” Caitlyn asked. “Eh...” Charlie hesitated, shifting away from Caitlyn a bit. “Oh come on! Please! I won’t do anything weird! I promise!” Caitlyn begged. “Ugh, fine...But only if you keep your promise!” Charlie gave in. “Pft, of course I’ll keep my promise! I mean geez, come on, Wolfgang! What do you think I am? A politician?” Caitlyn said, hopping over to him and beginning to cuddle, causing a blush to spread across his face.

[viralhottopics]

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So Bad For Them But I’m Doing Fine

Well, its Wednesday night and Im a bottle of wine in. Its time to love myself like that Hailee girl told me to and turn on some . Because nothing is better for your self-confidence then to watch other people fail. Miserably.

Last year Sams mom got in touch with me and this year its Giannas brother. Who will be next to defend their loved ones on the recaps? Carolinas great aunt? Stay tuned!

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Shocker, they all start binge drinking. Cant wait to see how much weight they all gain by the end of the season.

Little Mike is talking to Casandra about all the things he likes to do. These hobbies include taking long walks on the beach, gelling his hair and taking a daily measurement of his penis. His growth spurt is coming, okay?!

Casandra literally looks like a bobblehead and is like OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

Little Mike: I LOVE LAMP

Mike wants to get to know Cas but also low-key hates her for having a family and being #blessed. He legit calls her a daddys girl to her face and shes not even phased. He starts talking about how his mom is broke and his dad is crazy and Im like, woah, did I change the channel accidentally to ? This shit is way too heavy for me rn.

If I could describe the house in three words that they all could understand it would be: Drunk. Horny. Stupid. In that order. Because they arent planning on getting a real job any time after this, they decide to throw an underwear party.

Ozzy is like Kathryn is very sexy, idk what it is about her that I like. He says as she grinds on him in her underwear. Hmmm, I wonder what it could be that makes you like her?

They start making out and he tells her that tomorrow is his birthday. So obviously she has to have sex with him because of THE IMPLICATION. (Name that reference and I will marry you.)

Tyler and Taylor are both like hey this underwear party is fucking gross and Im like FUCK YA TEAM NORMAL PEOPLE.

Tyler is like everyone is acting trashy and Im trying to better myself. Woah, ok. Profound. Tyler def got lost on the way to auditions and ended up on . Either that or hes a fucking narc.

Apparently nothing makes Tylers dick harder than belittling the people you live with and he starts making out with Taylor. Overall, v hot couple.

Then the camera pans out to literally everyone just hooking up. , brought to you by Trojan Condoms.

THE GAME

The game starts with everyone being blindfolded and the boys tied up, which is coincidentally also the first scene of .

The girls have to smell the guys and untie the one they want to take on a date. Because thats normal. The first three couples to finish go on a date.

The girls start sniffing and falling more than cokeheads at an EDM concert.

Kari has some big-ass eyes so every time she talks she looks fucking crazy. Actually, she kind of looks like me when Im high but Im pretending that Im not high so Im overly opening my eyes. Idk, just trying to create a visual.

Karis like “I STUDIED NEUROSCIENCE ONCE IN COLLEGE, PHEROMONES ARE REAL Yeah, no one said they werent#Science.

KARI: This one time, in my neuroscience class

Kari picks Joey the trashman, who I thought smells like shit but I guess not.

Hannah picks Tyler and is like wow, this blindfold makes it so hard to see. I totally respect blind people. Wow, Im sure blind people everywhere feel so fucking complimented. Like look mom, that girl on TV understands my daily struggle for 3 minutes!

They can still hear you being a dumbass, you know.

Alicia smells Andre because he, and I quote, smells like Fritios. This is like the cheapest advertisement Fritos has ever had. Also, Andre its time to get some new cologne.

Andre/Alicia, Joey/Kari and Hannah/Tyler all win and they are going to go windsurfing. Thrilling.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Gianna apologizes to Hayden for being a low-key bitch last week and hes already well settled into his home on friendzone island.

Michael walks by and Gianna is like hanging on Hayden. Michael is very over it and Gianna is like . Fuck, okay.

Kam and Eddie are flirting and being cute and idk I like them so they better not fuck this up for me.

MY MOM: I like the girl with the grey-ish, purple-ish hair ME: Literally their names are at the bottom of the screen.

Carolina is very upset that Joey the trashman is going on a date with KARI (her name will be in all caps now because her eyes just make me feel some type of way). Carolina starts crying and shes like if youre not my match what is my purpose?! In the distance you can hear me screaming ITS WEEK TWO YOU DUMB BITCH.

THE DATE

Andre is the only one who can windsurf and Hannahs like”oh Daddy.” In the words of our President-Elect, everyone else is a bunch of losers. Huge losers! Failing at wind surfing! All talk, no action!

KARI is being really nice to Joey and saying hes fun and shes excited to be there and hes like ACTUALLY Im into Carolina. Woah. Okay, I know KARI may kind of look like Crazy Eyes but she seems nice and shes actually being genuine. So in my drunken state rn I am very mad for her.

Joey has officially moved to my shit list. And I dont even mean that because hes a trashman. Where he quite literally has to pick up shit. Get it? Ill see myself out.

Andre and Alisha seem to be getting along but IDK, they kinda act like little children. They talk a big game about how they are really into each other but I just cant see it. And Im pretty much a fucking expert at this show.

And none for Tyler and Hannah, bye!

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Andre and Alicia to the booth because the house isnt fully brain-dead. Everyone Is like “THEY ARE SO STRONG! THEYRE IN LOVE AFTER A WEEK.”

See, you say strong, I say fucking crazy.

And guess what, Im right motherfuckersNO MATCH.

Alicia starts crying and saying she doesnt want to be here. Damn, okay then fly tf outta here, what?

Hannah is like “HEY I KNOW YOUR HEART JUST BROKE, BUT IM GONNA GO AFTER ANDRE.” Its all about the subtle game. Hannah, could you like, chill your hoe ass down for a sec?

Hannah and Andre are talking and hes like I knew we werent a match and Im everyone at home is like wait you just told Alicia man, thats fucked up.

Andre and Hannah start making out because #drama.

Alicia starts flipping the fuck out and is like YOURE A LIAR AND A FLIRTER AND A MINGLER!!!

Whats a mingler? Just someone who mingles? I feel like thats real nondescript. Im going to need a full definition plz. DM me.

Andres like “THESE GIRLS ARE CATCHING FEELINGS!” Uh, its not just girls. Joeys over here acting like a baby back bitch.

Hoes, am I right?

THE MATCHUP

The boys get to pick tonight and this ought to be a shit show because none of them strike me as scholars.

Oswaldo picks KARI. Random, dont care.

Ozzy picks Kathryn because he wants that birthday sex. Ozzys like she makes me feel like home. Uh, Ozzy thats because you are home. Youre a local, your house is like, down the street.

Jaylen picks Kam, fucking up the thing she had with Eddie.

Eddie picks Shannon, womp womp.

Derrick pity picks Alicia.

Hayden, who is sporting a pair of capris, picks Taylor. Obviously Taylor wants to be with Tyler so this is def a surprise. She actually says those exact words and Hayden has now purchased a summer home on friendzone island.

Tyler says something fucking stupid about how Hayden is doing him a favor? Idk his foot is so far up his mouth and Taylors like 3 seconds away from putting her foot in his ass. So much for team normal.

Andre picks Hannah. Alicia is like “IT IS WHAT IT IS” but also wants to murder Hannah.

Michael caves and picks Gianna. WTF.

Joey picks Carolina and they kiss because THEY ARE DUMB THATS WHY.

Mike picks Casandra because shes his uptown girl.

Tyler picks Tee and they both are like, “Welp. Fuck me right?”

Okay, so this is sketch. Not looking so hot for them rn.

Were waiting for beams and Im drinking, thinking no fucking way are they going to blackout. Its only week 2. But in the words of President-Elect: The polls were wrong! The experts were wrong! Sad!

And yes, THEY BLACKOUT.

They all lost half a million dollars. Im laughing but its a nervous laugh because now they all are going to be on suicide watch or something.

Everyone has to deal with the fact that the person they are with is not their match. No Mike/Cas, Ozzy/Kathryn, Gianna/Michael, Joey/Carolina or Hannah/Andre. WOW. Major blow. Im loving this.

A sad song starts playing and people start crying. Damn, this just got as depressing as Mikes family life.

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