#well. comparatively ig. i havent had a problem

[fatnutswizard]

tumblr has the least amount stem resources of any social media i have frequented like usually the best we got is a pic of someones notebook with a header and two basic notes....

[basil-appreciation-comic]

IMPORTANT UPDATE!!

the comic is cancelled. you probably already assumed that since i havent posted anything about it in a while but yeah the things dead now lol. mainly because i dont care much about omori anymore, the comic sucked, and it was too much effort. i feel kinda bad about leaving you guys in the dark for this long tho, so i thought id go ahead and include all the scrapped stuff for the comic that never got finished

while i was writing the comic i started a google doc that laid out ideas i had for future pages. heres that if you wanna know how the story ends

it was written over several months and (most) things are in order of where they go on the timeline not when i wrote them so it might be a little hard to follow

also some art i never posted

(at least i dont think ive posted the last one)

i quoted not liking this comic as one of the reasons i stopped so let me explain that with a list of things id change about this if i were to remake it (which i wont)

remove the swearing that was so stupid

make omori mute (and probably use sign language)

omori does not express fear or stress in-game, thats sunnys job. quit it

he also does not cry and generally shows emotions (even the big ones) in more subtle ways (which i think i was trying to shift towards later in the doc) idk why he was so emotional all the time

literally everything about how i portrayed omori actually that was all just awful

the panic attack scene is fucking embarrassing i have no clue what i was thinking. im so sorry for writing it like that i did 0 research beforehand

make it shorter why did i think that would work out

id probably just make it a fic, comics take way too much outta me compared to just writing things

it does not need a big epic ending and probably shouldve ended not long after they escaped black space

the romance is horrible but thats the foundation of the comic so idek what id do about that

stop making everyone talk like therapists 24/7

and yeah it has a lot of problems but i still do care about this due to the ammount of effort and love ive put into it, i just cant and dont want to continue it

so yeah thats where this story ends ig. i had a lot of fun along the way, and thank you so much for all the support. bigger thanks to that one sunflower discord server (if you came from there you know which one) for being my main motivation and support throughout this journey. sucks this comic never got to see its full potential but im relieved to finally lay it to rest. the blog will stay up for archival purposes but i will not continue the comic any further obviously. the ask box will remain open if you wanna say anything or if you have a question about the story or whatever. thanks for reading.

[vonkarma2]

14 + 20 + 22 + 25?

14.) whats your favorite part of this story/project?

if I’m being real ok this is the most horrible and shallow answer but honestly like. The aesthetics of everything. Most of which only exist in my mind but idk I like the colors I like the time period + clothing and the character designs. It’s really fun for me to think abt + to work on personally. Not that I don’t like the other aspects as well but that’s what stands out the most to me ig 😋 also some of the characters due to my insane favoritism. Like I only ever have one favorite at a time it’s rocio right now but literally everyone has had their turn. So they could all have been considered my favorite part of the story at one time or another for sure.

20.) your ocverse just got a movie trilogy a la hunger games style. how have they horribly mangled your message/theme so that the movies are now a showcase of what the original was condemning?

Rocio dramatic final sacrifice or something probably… they die forever and everyone is like wow… this was the right decision to make… there was no other way… this truly was our [working title pending]. It’s like part of the point of the story is looking for alternative ways to solve problems that aren’t self destruction + being able to change your mind so this ending would be like validating her preconcieved notions of despair + only listening to her own convictions as correct and necessary. 

22.) you have been given unlimited funds to make two adaptations of some sort, however you cannot make any other adaptations of any other sort. which two formats do you choose?

Easy ok 1) long ass novel series 2) comic book. The impulse is to say arcane style animated series but tbh I think the comic format would work better I think it’d be better at conveying a lot of the emotions in a more subtle + muted yet efficient way. Idk I like animation a lot ofc but IMO comics with really nice illustrations + that are well made and well written ofc can hit really hard they stick with you a lot I think. Bc there’s an interesting balance between seeing what’s on the page and having to imagine the details like the movement and how everything sounds yourself. Whereas with reading regular books the reader has to put in more effort + with watching tv they have to put in less. Long novel series self explanatory it’s long it fleshes everything out the pacing might not be great objectively but there’s just a lot of it there which would be fun for me :3

25.) best scene you havent yet written, but have an idea for?

😞😞😞 I used to have more specific ideas but ever since I dismantled it for parts and got rid of a solid 2/3 of the story now there’s just like scenes that have been there for years that I don’t want to talk abt bc I’d be repeating myself. And vibes. And things I have mediocre WIPs of. I’ll try to come up with something. I do have a couple of really vague general ideas. Lucia + Cirillo arguing over whether they should kill Rocio kind of funny. A little too darkly comedic (or if taken 100% seriously then very depressing but I feel like it is inherently a little funny) compared to what I was going for initially but whatever times change. I like the idea of conflict between 2 characters that start out with such a close relationship + both care deeply abt other people but their specific motivations make it so that’s what tears them apart or whatever idk it’s interesting. Cirillo defending Rocio + Lucia trying to protect everyone would be kind of sweet I feel like idk it’s not a very fleshed out idea but I do think it’s interesting :3

[wormstar]

i was going thru ur blog and u have good posts about ableist aus and i was wondering - what if in the aus the requirements for warriors were different? Like instead of having to fight jay only hunts? Would the muddling of roles still be ableist? In a Tree-like situation?If its not presented in a "work super hard to get what you want" and more in a "yeah they can decide what he wants to do". This is mostly for jay (and cinder) specifically because they had desires to be warriors yet were forced to be medicine cats because of ableism (ig this can apply to briar but i just truly cant remember oots that well and i havent read her death). I am asking because i am still trying to unlearn the ableist mindset that i grew up with. Feel free to ignore this ask and thnx!

hey yeah thank you for asking! took the opportunity to write up more general thoughts on rewrites as a whole and i went over why exactly theyre ableist hopefully that provides a better perspective

i think the major thing to keep in mind is that the structure of the clans is very abled centric and overly ignorant of inner community work (for example dens are only solidified or altered when either the area takes damage/the clans grows wrt population) theres a fixation on marking territory and starting fights and whatever with other clans which is whats expected of most warriors to partake in. to fix those implications in any fanwork youve really gotta knead into them and understand the nature of their ableism....its not just a problem with cats being barred from being warriors its the whole occupation and the standard its held to, so to speak (+ that fits into general clan society being flawed but eh thats another thing and also its easy to branch out into thought about)

going to stress other disabled people might have other solutions to how disabled cats are received this is just how i like to think of things

first i think its kind of interesting to examine discrepancies between disabled cats in canon as somewhat of an indicator of clan attitudes and leaders and whatnot. like i think you could get something interesting by regarding lets say deadfoot in windclan and cinderpelt in thunderclan who both have bad legs yet had different experiences with them in clan life. if you wanna go a step further comparing generations like lilywhisker and deadfoot or cinderpelt and jayfeather (+ the consideration of how congenital disabilities are regarded) can also make things interesting and just give you an idea of what to do. having the clan systems stray from a clear-cut common attitude both gives you more freedom for different approaches + adds to worldbuilding anyway. imo boiling down clan society to perfect utopia just gets boring but you can have imperfections in the system that depict the disabled experience just fine. just be careful with them and the way they come across yeah?

(real quick as an in between. god just dont refer to cats/their injuries as crippled. it still happens somehow)

im a little ambivalent on the idea of creating a ‘special role’ for disabled cats to be thrown into. cause then thats a repeat of canon medicine den really. its like ‘oh youre disabled youre instantly discarded into the x role pit’ i think just adding substantial in-universe changes to the warrior rank itself (vagueness is fun actually) or expanding on ‘warrior types’ rectifies the othering angle. ‘othering’ as a whole is just as bad as the ‘exception’ archetype people run for most warrior aus i want to state that clearly. effectively if youre gonna introduce roles that dont depend on fighting or hunting or both make sure theres abled cats who have them too. like say you want a camp-based role where a cats job is to fix dens or one where they help in the nursery, its far easier for a cat who cant run to manage those but also have some cats who are physically capable of doing other ‘tasks’ do the same thing for personal reasons

the tree comparison is interesting honestly cause i guess you could just give a cat a particular thing to do as a nonfixed position. and roles accordingly being made for a cat to fill until they cant and the positions done away with afterward. but youve gotta do it carefully so you dont fall into othering as ive said. id avoid something like that personally i just dont like the quality of ‘well theyre not a warrior (the most noble/useful concept in cat society) theyre actually some other thing’

in general giving disabled cats agency and choice is the best thing you can do. whether this means them deciding on tasks they can do themselves or picking a certain kind of warrior to be or asking for an assistant to help them out when they do stuff. the way you wanna pull it off again depends on my first question of “how does the relevant part of your warrior cat world treat disabled cats already”

very important point, the majority of the ableism also comes in the form of character narratives and not just the structure of the world itself. like think for a bit why the writers decided jayfeather shouldve been forced to be a medic or why briarlight got killed off early etc etc. characters ‘wanting’ to be like the abled ideal and still being bitter about not fulfilling that years down the line are just part of the ableist storylines. if youre abled id literally say just do away with those sadstuck ‘i wanted to be a warrior!’ moments. if you really want to id say pull a cinderpelt or a shadowsight where a cats time in the medicine den started their fascination with medicine and they switched to that path due to personal intrigue. id say a more interesting and realistic angle to it is having a disabled cat who found fulfilment in doing something else besides being a warrior becoming bitter about their entire clan ‘mourning’ how theyll never fight again or giving them the pretence of being a warrior being the best thing you can do.... it depends on the character really

this is just a very basic disability thing but stray from the whole ‘useless/dead weight’ way of regarding disabled characters. like dont place their worth on how well they service a clan or not theyre still deserving of shelter and whatnot. you dont need to justify a cats existence or usefulness by going ‘well they may be blind but their sense of smell is excellent so we keep them around’ or whatever its just no good

last thing i can think of is like. dont disregard how a cats disability affects them. like its fine that briarlight cant fight (or even hunt major types of prey) she doesnt need some convoluted method that lets her do that. there are like a dozen other warriors hunting and fighting and theres present value and enjoyment in the stuff she does around camp. she doesnt have to be brightheart 2 its ok

[seoafin]

tbh,, i havent read the raws of the interview yet, only the translated ver from fan-translator and b4 i start, i think that this will be just me talking in circle and in no particular order AND a real mess (my brain does weird things after exams) but uhh here we go

gojou collects talented people, and by doing so he finds the people he can most probably relate to, except that he can't, not really, because something in the universe shifted when he was born. and it makes me think of how he's always known it, that he is special, and he's proven it, time and time again— he wants to take in talented ppl and he does, but there rly isn't much he can do for them. for they are talented, more talented than the world can understand,,

but they aren't gojou satoru

gojou took in megumi, bc he knew megumi was strong, and would grow up to be someone even stronger, but gojou can't facilitate or encourage his growth, bc for all they're similar, they are so fundamentally different. ALSO,, while geto was in his life, gojou rly judged everything according to his understanding of geto’s moral compass. gojou wears a human suit and geto is how he learnt to wear it well 🏃

the dragonfly analogy regarding to geto’s response to gojo, who was shown wearing a dragonfly patterned yukata in HI arc,, i’m trying to not think abt the fact that dragonfly symbolized victory in jpn....pain. i quoted from a web here for more explanation : In Japan the dragonfly is known as the "victory insect", or kachimushi, because of its hunting prowess and also because it is known to never retreat. Dragonflies are agile and fast fliers and can even hover, but never fly backwards

and bringing this up again, matricide and patricide are 2 of the 5 worst act to commit in buddhism, and it was said that if u commit one of those act u’re going to spend a real long time in the deepest pit of hell before continuing the samsaric cycle (higher chances to be born as an animal after that probs)— this might be geto’s divine retribution. held no power over his own body and could be considered that he’s the same as those “monkeys” 💀

ALSO the fact that sukuna's interest is "eating" rly drives home his hedonistic philosophy of seeking pleasure for himself. and he’s a cannibal...makes me think if he’ll just chomp on ppl with the mouth on his stomach

randomly, to date i think he hasn't really called himself a human, shaman, or a curse, and has held himself apart from all 3, and we've also the intro of the cursed wombs so i wonder if he’s trying to become, or is, a different entity altogether

so onmyoji got mentioned in the interview and what they practice is called onmyodo and abe no seimei and kano no yasunori were the notable practitioners,, and the kamo in jjk is the same as irl who served the imperial court back then

maybe i was right when i said that the relation between the govt. and jujutsu elders are similar to how the shogunate and imperial court work (ie, the former holds the actual power) but... lets see later,,

and i cant believe that i actually nailed it on the analogy of jujutsu practices by religion,,, so mahayana buddhism, shintoism, and taoism is present in jjk along with their respective jujutsu practices...but between the 3, it shld (?) be taoism > shintoism > mahayana buddhism (which could took a path to pure land buddhism)

it’s weird that the number of curses are supposedly higher in jpn comparable to other countries when taoism was brought from china....tengen sus

so the zenin family tree is sth like :

brothers: [toji's dad] ; naobito ; ougi

so toji, naoya, and maki & mai are cousins of the same generation

[toji's dad] → jinichi (probs) ; toji → megumi

naobito → other brothers, naoya

ougi → maki, mai

but yea i’d call anyone who’s within/close or below my age range as cousins and others above 30 as uncles/ aunts LMFAO,, i dont rly memorize my own family tree 😭😭 especially since most call the other by honorifics instead of names : aunt, uncles etc or attaching said honorifics at the end of a name for an older sibling figure/ older cousins [but like ppl in my country also call the other who are older with sibling honorific even if we’re strangers,,, rly similar to korea’s hyung/oppa—eonnie(unnie)/noona but some uses more genderless honorific] (1)

tw // topic of incest, mentions of abuse

if anyone got the wrong idea when reading this : i am not glorifying/ romanticising incest(uous themes),, i’m looking at this with absolutely no lenses of bias even tho im rly against it

初恋 = literally : first love, or puppy love

恋 = romantic love/ deep longing

i literally don't know how else to put this...🧍and with language barrier...using a western interpretation of the eng word "love" to explain a jpnese term is not quite that simple, unfortunately

that thread omg,, i rly do understand how exactly someone could associated kindness with love bc of my upbringing, it was when i was slightly older that i was just...oh so its not like that orz,,, so the most plausible explanation would be that

but the problem is that,, akutami never specify when exactly she had a crush on them,, and when megumi answered todo’s question she had a “♡” reaction 😶,, uhmmm there’s rly no way to look past this if its this way or be in denial

i’ve seen some of "why wouldn't mai react that way after hearing megumi say he'd like someone who's compassionate when she's surrounded by men like naoya",, well I MEAN,,, that, but also mai probs admires that megumi grew up so well out of the clan, regardless of the fact that he had the foundation (10 shadows) to do so. imo she seems happy for him the way she can't be for maki, bc maki ultimately had to leave her behind

hate to say it but yea,, the 3 clans most likely still practice inbreeding in order to preserve their power and presumably their wealth too 😀

i had an idle thought abt it at first but i filed it deep in the back of my mind asap,, bc i ont wanna jump to conclusion abt this out of all things too early. it’s probably not even in jjk, but all those elite clans in other ani/mangas that produce powerful heirs and whatnot also do the same,,, but this way of (my personal) thinking was influenced when i first got into tsukihime (type-moon),,, i read abt the nanaya family background and found out that they practice that in order to keep their bloodline “pure” (to keep it short : they have an optical power),, and i had this kind of assumption ever since so there’s that

i’m,, convinced the zenins' inbreeding made it more difficult for them to get powerful shamans bc they got 2 jujutsu technique-less children with heavenly restrictions in the same generation: toji & maki

even more convinced that maki might be a bit stronger than toji bc toji could see curses without aid while maki can't so the pay-off must be higher,,, SJJASN IDK ,,, plus naoya sort of implies his older brothers are nothing compared to him, and idk if we should take that as his arrogance or that his older brothers rly are weak/powerless. it would make sense as to why naobito had a lot of sons, ig, as head of clan

i feel so bad that if one of the factors that can caused heavenly restriction is inbreeding,, toji and maki and mai had no say in how they wanted to be born but are scorned for it,, typical asian families projecting their traumas and ideals onto their kids but get mad when they realize that those ideals are ugly...😁😁😁

since the zenin are conservative,, i wonder if they still hold onto old jpnese dining traditions. where in ancient jpn, hierarchical relationships were made readily apparent even within families. a dining table where everybody sat down and ate as equals would be unheard of. rather, each individual is given their own table that indicates their status,,, someone who is not considered “strong” according to the zenin’s views most likely have no place at the table, and probs eat when those who are “strong” finished/ serve them when they are eating

if toji was tossed into a swarm of curses,, i dont think abuse during said time is below them,,,

the zenin clan was already great, but they further amassed power and strength by, what i assume to be, marrying and adopting powerful individuals into the clan 🤔 ,,, i imagine they're like the hiiragi but without doing what they did to shinya (ons reference)

BUT after all that, i like to think that since akutami’s a big horror fan, jjk might be an outlet to explore said topics or even darker ones, so i wouldnt be that surpised abt it. given that there’s more than enough “red flags” before this was dropped : a reference to “tale of hikaru genji” when a grown woman asked for gojou’s number in HI arc (out of all things); granny who transformed into the man’s daughter, sat on his lap and man just touched her waist; mei mei and ui ui ; and...this (incestous theme is in the novel btw)

lets not start with whatever the fuck in kubo’s head in the interview otherwise i’m writing paragraphs with every curse words possible,, those big 3 mangakas are so— UGH,, a planet w out (cis) men like him sounds real good rn 😌 if one of yall out there decide to do it,, pls hmu rly cant do this shit anymore

akutami said i like my men pretty and i like women who will step on my neck and spit in my face (I REMEMBERED TATSUKI FUJIMOTO’S INTERVIEW WHEN HE WAS ASKED ABT MAKIMA AND IT WAS SO 😭😭😭😭) but ykw,, love that for both of them <3

when i said 3 : one piece, bleach, naruto. aside from the blatant depiction/ characterize of women in those 3,, idk if some ppl arent aware yet but oda is friends with two (2) convicted pedos,, man...the major disappointment and disgust when i first find out abt it

anyways this is just my 2 cents (which i think rightfully belong to the trash can) so pls just take this w a lil to no grain of salt - 🐱

YEAH THE ♡ LMFAO I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A “good answer ♡“ heart BUT NOW IM RE-EXAMINING?????

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if the three clans practiced inbreeding. but ik people are going to be  😡😡😡😡😡 about it when the queen of fucking england is literally married to her (something) cousin. i’m not justifying it but like....love the double standards, just as always with the west 😍

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT FUCKING PED* LIST THEY SHOULD ALL BE IN JAIL. JAILLLLL. it’s all so gross. that’s why i fucking hate when people look towards manga for positive representation because the chances of that are super slim to zero, especially since the industry is saturated with misogyny and ped******* and a lot of other gross stuff.

i think ppl forget jjk is a horror manga LOL so obviously it’s going to confront darker themes. the question is whether it’s going to be done tastefully or not......

[wondercookieunicorn]

Haha that's alright! Take your time and there's no rush ^^ I hope you're having fun with your mom! N I'll prolly wont be back online until later tonight bc work. And the pink is no problem for me! I think it's cute ^^ and the message STILL hasnt come through?!? I guess i'll have to try again tonight 🙄 and you're really such a soft person im so lucky that i was assigned to you ^^ n i'd like it if you did the mission but ofc you dont have to! - 🌱💚

1/? whoooo!!! and awwwe :( well, even if you didnt get to spend it with your friend, i hope you had a good day! And yes, Muriel seems like such a sweetheart, but i havent seen him much yet so i cant say for certain what i think of him. But yes, i dO want to be taller! It was was my one goal in life to be tall since the doctor said i could grow to be 179cm! but i got stuck! i didnt even reach the 170cm TT it's really frustrating bc people here are tall and im not :

2/? sjnsd i try to be kind^^ the world's full of shitty people as it is. and okey! I'll keep that in mind~ ofc you can always rant or vent to me too about anything ^^ and ugh, yes it should. SHDBCASJDJ am i really that cute when i talk about doie??? and if you called that cute then boi do i have another thing comin for ya XD that was nothing compared to how i can be when it concerns idols (doie specifically) but pls dont crack yuta's nr i dont want you to be jailed for privacy invasion - 🌱💚             

3/4 and i know you are still joking dw! idk why i even said that i think it was an oppertunity too good to pass by XD and yes, johnny's hair really was tragic. i'm all here for long hair on guys but that was just a little too much even for me (yuta's red mullet nowadays though ohohoho i am living my best life bc of it) and ye, we're here now! that's what matters^^ n i can see why t7s didnt work out XD it's,,, sth that has to grow on you, i think. - 🌱💚       

4/4 Ye they're new movies. Missing Link is not a scary movie though! It was really cute and funny and revolved around the found family trope (god, i love that trope soooo much) and the studio that made Missing Link (Laika studios) has made some other really great stop motion films. My favourite genre would be drama ig? I live for drama in stories! And i also like comedic elements and superhero/monster stuff (tho not horror i hate horror!) and my fave movie is Hunt For The Wilderpeople^^ - 🌱💚       

I´m glad that you´re feeling that way sksks my soul is pleased ~

Day was llooong, I just arrived at home. I´ve successfully harvested about like 12 buckets full of small yellow plums and there still ain´t no storm I- anyway. Hope your day went well so far as well and that you´ll get sum nice “After work” rest!!  ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥

I rlly wanna try the mission, tho I´m kinda tired rn so might be doing it tmr. Also chances are high that I´ll go to sleep rather soon, so just in case we won´t get to talk today; just wanna let you know that I´ll be at a friends houseparty that I rlly wanna ditch tmr evening and I´ll be sleeping there and saturday I´ll probably be home around 4PM or sumthn.. so like- Just wanted to let you know idk, since we´re on anon and all and not DMs. Okay anyway xD

Ya huney, I can crack into Yuta´s contacts without anyone knowing becuz he´ll prolly accidentaly reveal doyoungs number himself lolol Anyway, what are your like, idk let´s say 5 top Idols? Incase you stan more then NCT? I´m excited to see more cuteness directed to Doyoung I cant get myself to write dl,,,oe,,e,,,,

Who doesn´t live their best life, with Yuta walkin around like that?? Sir gotta cAlm down!!!

Aww I don´t know your fav movie. Might gonna watch it on sunday, who knows; then we can tallk about it ;3 ❦ 

My fav movie aside from the old disney beauty and the beast would probably be identity? I´m all for Thrillers. And I hate horror too!! Like especially when it´s like supernatural horror yet here I am, loving Supernatural lol becuz it just isn´t explainable and if there ain´t logic to it then it´s not my thing sksks. I do mostly shit my pants at Thrillers too but if the Thrillers are good, Then. They.  Are. Just. Way. Too. Interesting. Gotta. Watch!!!!

But yeah, I still don´t know the situation between your pets AND whether or not you commented on my cursing thing :´))))

Anyway, imma see where this evening brings me to. In any case I´ll wish you a good night ~ ❦ 

Love you ❦

[sanjidysphoria]

tw: ed, suicide, kidnapping, ptsd, depression, actually i think tw: everything that can trigger someone

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

i started therapy in 2019 because my parents were afraid that my older sister's ed and depression and my brother's absence (he refuses to talk to us i havent seen him in 3 years we dont know where he is oop) were taking a toll on me. i have always been very fixated on studying and my therapist noticed it so instead of talking about family issues she made me take an iq test. then it turned out i have a really shitty short term memory compared to the other things the test was examining (like my verbal iq was 149 and my short term memory was 83). then it turned out that i have adhd (yeee) and my therapist told me that i could get a document that would guarantee me more time during exams (even though i complete tasks very fast so it's not even needed) but from that on i would have to show that document to future employers and she wanted to ask me since she knows how important my study is for me. anyway i got gaslit into Not Being Diagnosed with adhd and my parents dont even know about it oops.

then my father got depressed and suicidal when he lost his job (well he didn't but he's a guide and it's a bad year to be employed in tourism) and he went missing for a day and apparently almost jumped off a bridge so i had to go back to therapy because i was home alone with him many times and i was paranoid that he would kill himself while i was in the house as well. and i love my dad so fucking much so yeah that was that. as i said i went back but then i quickly had other problems..

so like you remember when i was in a really really bad shape last year around this time. in 2019 i was working in a town an hour away from where i live for 10 days handing out water to the people attending the event that was going on. i don't really remember anything because apparently i have partial memory loss but a man was stalking me the entire time and on my last day he proceeded to lure me out the booth and drag me to a nearby parking lot and tried to push me in his car and he would've succeded had i not the amazing idea that i would bite him so i could run away. so i fully repressed this because holy fucking shit you would too but last year this time it all came back and i would get constant nightmares to the point where i couldnt sleep at all, soon i would stop going out because i was afraid of being in crowds, i couldnt talk to men or stay in the same space as them (not even my teachers or relatives, except for my dad). this was extra bad because (as many of you remember it) i was ahead of getting my driver's license and i was worried about getting a male instructor (it's all good now i have a woman yeaaaaa). so we started that topic, i got Actually diagnosed with ptsd and partial memory loss but then i mentioned that i was gay and she got really hung up on that for some fucking reason, not even homophobically just... kept asking about it and it made me really fucking irritated. and then i got diagnosed with anger issues and she started Exploring TM the idea of me being a narcissist and at that point i was so ANNOYED AND ANGRY that i told her that i felt fine and then i told my parents that she told me i was fine and i havent called her since.

anyway. right now im like. doing fine i guess, i have more tantrums and i got angry more easily. i also have a shitton of breakdowns but those are only because of my final exams. im managing ig, the ptsd thing is good rn, my dad is on meds, my sister is recovering, im driving... yeah idk.

anyone wanna see me share my trauma